#on the road to burnout

[powerfultenderness]

I’m almost done with something. but it’s 6:30 am and i cant think anymore. new short by the end of the day. maybe. hopefully. idk. i need a nap.

[muffypollz]

ASHEDUE THE KISS REDRAW I LOVE YAOI

[pokemonranch]

Y'all won't BELIEVE the three months I've had

[iguanodont]

Usually it’s me drawing something for you guys

Now’s your chance to draw something for me!

If u feel like it, anyway :)

[hap-less]

[bizlybebo]

are you like. okay?

are we all just going through it or something?

YEAH DONT WORRY !! i’m balling, actually been doing great lately :3 just working through a couple things that i never thought i’d have to before, but other than that i’m amazing ^__^

[studentbyday]

tw: perfectionism, self-doubt, anhedonia, burnout, uncertainty...you are under no obligation to read what follows...i just needed a place to sort things out, it's too messy in my head.

i like to think my perfectionism has mellowed out a little bit....sort of...sometimes...mostly, it now presents itself as "do the best that i know i can" and for better or for worse, my previous experiences have set that bar very high. i mean, what else am i going to do? what could possibly be a better use of my time than preparing for my future while i can?

@zzzzzestforlife wisely told me: it's important to balance preparing for the future and enjoying the present. if you spend all your time preparing for the future, by the time you're about to live it, you might not want it or anything anymore.

perhaps even before then you can get into that place where you don't want anything anymore. but i don't think it's that i don't want anything anymore...at least, not yet. there are lots of things i want that i know i'm not good enough to achieve and/or that current circumstances prevent me from achieving and/or that i'm just too tired to try to achieve rn. perhaps i could achieve them in time but by then, maybe it'll be too late. what if i ultimately fail? does that mean all my efforts have been for nought? it all contributes to a very high level of self-doubt and discouragement. and then i risk a self-fulfilling prophecy because what is the point of trying when i can't do it?

just so tired... it's not the kind of tiredness i immediately notice. it's the kind of tired i only notice only after its crept up on me and done its damage. and i'm not sure what i'm supposed to do. keep working / try to do more, or stop working / try to do less, somehow guilt free? if i keep trying to do more (i.e. focus on preparing for my future), i will eventually get to that point where i'm so burnt out and numb and crumble under the weight of self-doubt and of extremely high personal standards that i stop wanting anything anymore and get depressed. but if i stop working or just do less (or focus on other things that help me enjoy the present more), i will fail as i miss the mark again and again and again, get discouraged, crumble under the weight of self-doubt and of falling short, and get depressed.

but maybe i'm getting ahead of myself. i'm not sure who i will be in three years, if i will be better or worse. but i...still don't quite know what to do to prevent my mental health from tanking further as i know it has done for others in a similar position...those who were driven by passion for their field and felt pressured to work very hard because they needed to.

i'm sometimes terrified of the future. like this september, i will be doing more things than i usually do and what if something drops? and more broadly, will there be jobs out there that i qualify for that don't require me to move away? will it be worth it or will it not? sigh. again, i'm thinking about things i don't need to think about right now. but i don't like how i feel like i'm meandering towards where i'm meant to be instead of shooting like an arrow towards my goals. and i think the sooner i make a choice, the sooner i can course-correct if need be. but i also want to make the right choice because i've seen others make their choices quite quickly and end up feeling like their soul has been drained by them while also feeling trapped in the paths they've set. and i'm scared the same thing will happen to me. and i'm also scared of wasting time, of accumulating knowledge and skills but never having a secure and well-compensated job to use them in. sigh. perhaps i will feel better tomorrow. i've just been feeling really uncertain about everything lately...

oohh, i really don't like the feeling of any of this 😣😖

[inga-don-studio]

Well my body sure did take the adage “if you don’t schedule time for rest then your body will do it for you whether it’s convenient or not” to heart with a vengeance. (I’m sure I butchered the saying but whatever)

[keeksandgigz]

i've actually been writing so much lately like ever since i got back to uni i've been a typing machine. on top of tumblr which im treating as a full time job i am also taking two creative writing classes and doing a writing internship where i play journalist and write little articles. life is great btw :)

[risingsunresistance]

wake up, fandom discourse. walk to class, harassing protestors standing outside my doors. go to class, political debate

[alternativeproject]

Wiggles documentary coming out this month maybe everything will be ok

[teethclawsmonsterjaws]

Beyond late but hello! Happy new year to you all!!

Still alive, graduation ceremony soon, and finally drawing again. Expect a poll later to vote on a new piece 👀

Hope everyone had a wonderful start to the new year!!

[askseriousrainbow]

We're almost to the top 10 with numbers 20-11 today! It's been fun getting these screenshots.

Link to part 1. Link to part 2. Link to part 3. Link to part 4. Link to part 5. Link to part 6. Link to part 7. Link to part 8. Link to part 10.

20. Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Okay, we all know the jokes about how Todd keeps releasing Skyrim, but there's a good reason. Skyrim is a fantastic game that is a refinement of what makes the Elder Scrolls a fun game. The dragon shouts are also an interesting addition, that let you do all sorts of things.

19. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy

The Ace Attorney games are great and they all started with this trilogy. The writing is clever, the puzzles are mind-challenging, the interrogations are well thought out, and it's fun to just get into. This game has heart, and fantastic music, and it's quite a ride.

18. Burnout Paradise

Burnout Paradise is a great racer with a killer soundtrack, with multiple modes to play through, such as Stunt Run, Marked Man, Road Rage, and just normal races. The multiplayer is fantastic as well as it has modes such as Cops & Robbers. They really nailed it with this one.

17. Papers, Please

Everyone's favorite dystopian document thriller, Papers, Please takes the mundane task of stamping people's passports and makes it a engaging game with interesting, sympathetic characters, and a story that can go multiple ways. Cobrastan is not a real country.

16. Battle Chess

Chess is boring, right? Not with Battle Chess, what with its multiple animations of the “pieces” attacking each other. It's a surprisingly well-balanced chess game that can be hard to master, but when you do, it's just so satisfying.

15. Celeste

A neat little puzzle-platformer that's all about facing your fears. The story is great, and the gameplay is really good. To say anything else would probably be spoilers, so I'm not going to go any deeper, because this is one you should experience yourself.

14. Sam & Max Hit The Road

The Freelance Police's first video game outing is one of the best adventure games of all time and highly enjoyable just for the jokes. The story is fantastic and the mini-games are varied. A great time to be had for sure.

13. Serious Sam First Encounter/Second Encounter

Oh, yeah, the original pair of Serious Sam games are great, technically two parts of the same game as you can play First Encounter HD in Second Encounter HD, as well as being able to play both in Classics Revolution, and just a fantastic shooter for fans of the shooter genre. If you've never played the Serious Sam games, start here.

12. Mass Effect: Legendary Edition

I love the Mass Effect series, so of course I had to put it on my Top 100. The carefully crafted (for the most part) story is fantastic, and it encourages you to play your way, either as a Paragon or a Renegade. (I'm usually Paragon myself.) The characters are great, the missions entertaining, just all in all a great series.

11. Quake

I cannot stress how important Quake is for gaming. A lot of 3D engines may still have some code left over from Quake. Deathmatch was codified by this game. Without Quake, there's no Half-Life, no Team Fortress, no Counter-Strike. It may be all brown (and blue), but it wouldn't feel like Quake if it wasn't run down.

TOP TEN TOMORROW!!! :D

Link to part 1. Link to part 2. Link to part 3. Link to part 4. Link to part 5. Link to part 6. Link to part 7. Link to part 8. Link to part 10.

[gingerninja8]

Causing a 24 car pile up.

[inkskinned]

at the end of the day it's not that you hate your job - actually, you like working, you like routine, you like feeling like an adult - it's that any time you fuck anything up, you feel like you're fucking dying.

because you could be actually fucking dying. because if one day you wake up and you misunderstood something - you could lose your job, and nobody is hiring, and nobody is paying, and nobody takes people like you, and that job you want hasn't gotten back to you. and what exactly are you going to do without insurance? good luck with those meds. you should have thought of that before being a person.

so it's not just that you forgot to CC someone on an email, it's that if you don't have this job, you can't afford rent. it's not that you misread a comment, it's that if you get fired, you will be in massive amounts of unpayable debt. it's not that you are bad at your job, but here are the stakes as they have been decided for you: be perfect or fucking die. like, literally, die. that is how much safety net you have: none.

it's not burnout, technically. but you literally just had two typos in your work, and you're already picturing the ending. you want to throw up & curl up & make it all go away. it is two typos. if he decides he is mad at you, you lose literally everything.

your mom says that you seem stressed. the thing is that you have never known a job that isn't stressful. welcome to capitalism. there is no other road, only this one. what the fuck is a career. you come here, and we hold your life against the barrel of a gun, and somewhere someone is spinning the chamber and pulling. eventually the bullet will come.

you live in a mugging. your boss owns three cars and has four kids. you worry about having enough to feed your dog. good luck. beg for forgiveness. CC the right people next time and be grateful, kid. somebody has it worse than you. someone, probably, has it worse than you. so what if you can't sleep or eat or focus. your work chat sound literally makes you panic. you had to change the sounds of computer notifications so you'd stop having such an upset stomach.

welcome to the real world! the rat race! the dog eat dog circus!

your doctor studies the results and frowns at you. "it's bad for your heart," she says. "try to reduce your levels of stress."

[counselorssoapbox]

Life is a road trip.

Life is a road trip.Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com Life is a road trip. By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Counselor. Have you ever taken a road trip without a map? I think life is a lot like a road trip. My life has been a road trip without a map. I don’t know about you, but when I came home from the hospital after being born, I didn’t get that instruction booklet that told me where…