#on some streaming sites that has pop ups every now and then

[shuafiles]

w boyfriend [j.ww]

MDNI, 18+

SUMMARY | watching wonwoo play video games is so hot.

PAIRING | streamer gamer bf!wonwoo x afab!reader

CONTENT | smut with no plot (kinda), slight masturbation (f), oral (m receiving), unprotected sex (pls dont), light degradation, voyeurism? (listening in), big dick wonwoo

WORDS | 2.4k

A/N | typical wonwoo gamer smut, which im obsessed with. also valorant gamer wonwoo, and a lot of stream terms lol.

you were lying in bed with your phone in hand, scrolling through every social media app due to boredom, when a notification popped up reading, “jwonwoo is live!”. a smile forming on your lips, you clicked on it. your boyfriend–clad in a grey hoodie and his black glasses–was displayed on your phone screen. he was looking around his screen, making sure everything was perfect for the stream. you glanced at the chat, seeing people slowly start to come in and greet him.

you loved that wonwoo was a streamer. it was so on brand of him to play video games and to livestream them to people. you could tell he loved creating content, too, always raving about what new games he was excited to play for his viewers. he couldn’t have done it without you. before you and wonwoo decided to live together, he used to stream his games for you on discord. seeing how entertaining it is to watch him play, you convinced him to livestream his gameplay to people, and he did. now he has over 300,000 followers on his account, supporting himself with what he loves doing most.

“plant the spike, gyu!” wonwoo’s voice echoed from your phone. you were so deep in thought that you hadn’t even realized his game started. examining him through his camera, his brows were furrowed, gaze intent on his game while simultaneously making call outs to his teammates.

there was something about wonwoo playing video games that made him so hot. his fingers quickly hovering and pressing different keys on his keyboard, which you could slightly see through the hand cam he had attached below his face cam (it was requested by his viewers). you loved the sight of him playing, you think it’s one of his hottest moments. him being so focused on whatever game he had on for the night. the sleeves of his hoodie being pushed up against his arm, his muscles flexing every now and then. you felt your arousal gathering between your legs, gripping your pillow before deciding to get up and head toward his room.

“hold on, cheol, i’m smoked off, can’t get into the site.” your boyfriend sat on his chair, facing his brightly lit monitor that you were sure was too close to his face. you leaned on the doorframe, arms crossed against your chest as you watched him. he muttered curse words when his agent died, leaning back on his chair as a spectator. the corner of his eye spotted you, head turning to face you fully, he flashed you a smile. he muted himself on discord, gesturing you to come close, which you did. “everyone, say hi to y/n! my lovely girlfriend is here.” he placed his hand on your hip as you leaned down to show yourself on camera.

“hi, chat!” you waved, smiling. your relationship with wonwoo was not hidden. his true fans knew he had a girlfriend, some were supportive, and some were haters. you did not really mind it, after all, they were only brave through the screen. you glanced at his second monitor where the chat was displayed, various people saying hi and complimenting you filled his stream. growing shy, you waved another goodbye before leaving the frame.

wonwoo quickly said he’d be right back before tapping the mic that was mounted on his desk to mute himself, pushing a button that turns his camera off. he slid one ear of his headphones off the side of his head. “hi, baby. what’s up?” he pulled you close to him, making you stand between his legs. his arms resting on your waist.

“nothing, just missed you.” you placed your arm on his shoulders, ruffling his hair lightly.

“wonwoo! buy a gun, man!” mingyu’s voice from his headphones. you leaned down to kiss his lips lightly before getting out of his grip.

“i’m sorry, baby. i’m just going to play a few games, then you have me, okay?” wonwoo assured you, placing his headphones on. taking a final look at you before he playfully patted your ass, making you yelp. “i love you!” he yelled out as you made your way out of his room.

an hour has passed, and you grew even more needy. wonwoo’s stream is still displayed on your phone, watching him intently and imagining him working on you instead of his keyboard. sprawled out on the bed, you closed your eyes, hands carefully caressing your own body. you wore a white tank top with lace on top and some pink and white striped lounge shorts. biting your lip, you slipped your hand under your shorts, not wearing any underwear. you swiped a finger from your entrance down to your clit, feeling your slick just from the thought of your boyfriend.

as if wonwoo could read your mind, you heard him groan from your phone. “fuck!” he sighed as he whiffed on an enemy. the sound traveling to your already throbbing core. you slipped a finger inside your pussy, not feeling content, you added another one. slowly pumping your fingers in and out of you, imagining his hands on you instead. groaning, it wasn’t enough; you needed more. pulling your fingers out from your shorts, and wiping them on the outside before marching over to wonwoo’s room.

wonwoo was practically in the same position you left him in. you walked near him but stopped when you were nearing his camera; you dropped to your knees, on all fours, and crawled under his desk. he was too focused on his game even to notice you were there. kneeling in front of him, you tapped his thigh with your hand, which made him jump and look down. you had a desperate look in your eyes, licking your lips. he smirked, he knew you like the back of his hand. he slid his chair closer to you before returning his gaze to his screen, your heart pounding from your chest as you pulled his boxers down enough to reveal his growing cock. he wasn’t that hard, which made you pout.

you grab hold of wonwoo’s cock, thumb sliding over the slit of his head while sliding your hand up and down. if he wasn’t hard before, he surely was now. his now perked-up cock was turning red from your touch. your mouth watered at his big cock pulsating. satisfied, you let go before grabbing the waistband of his boxers; he lightly lifted his lips as you pulled them down to his ankles.

“jesus.” you heard him grunt as you took his cock in your hand, darting your tongue out to his head. amused at his reaction, leaning down, you took your tongue out, licking the base of his cock all the way up to the head. he let out a groan, “i kicked the wall by accident.” he muttered against his mic, glancing at his chat to make sure no one could suspect what your naughty ass was up to. when he was in the clear, he glanced at you, pretending to reach for his foot, but he placed his hand on your cheek, caressing it softly. you leaned into his touch before you engulfed his cock in your mouth. tongue swirling around the base, moaning around his cock (thanking the heavens that he had noise cancellation on his mic). slowly pushing further down his length, lightly gagging when you felt the tip hit the back of your throat. you wrapped your fingers around the areas your mouth couldn’t reach. you continued to suck him off, hollowing your cheeks as you moved. tears brimming your eyes as you bobbed your head up and down.

wonwoo couldn’t focus on his game any longer, hearing his teammates curse at him for being shit, but he couldn’t care less, not when he had his hot girlfriend choking on his dick. so the minute his game ended (in which they lost) he clicked the “stream ending soon.” prompt displayed on his screen, and he muted his mic before gathering your hair with his hand, his other hand placing his headphones on his desk. his chat going crazy as to why he suddenly ended the stream.

“you’re such a naughty little slut, you know that?” wonwoo grunted, throwing his head back against his chair before guiding your head on his cock. you placed your hands flat against his thighs as he continued to thrust his cock in your mouth. his hips bucking upwards to bury his cock deeper into you. “needy princess couldn’t even wait for me to finish work, hm? you just want everyone to know what a dirty slut you are, don’t you, baby.” you looked at him through your lashes, he sighed at the sight of his cock deep in your mouth. “get up.” he let go of your hair, you unlatched yourself from his cock, a string of saliva forming.

wonwoo guided you onto his lap, your legs on either side of his thighs. his hand resting on your cheek before attaching his lips to yours. his lips were rough on yours as if he had been waiting to taste you all day. his tongue forcing its way into your mouth, making you moan. your hand flying to his hair, lightly gripping it.

“take these off.” pulling away from your lips, tugging at your shorts. you stood up before him, gripping your shorts before pulling them down. he leaned against his chair with his arms behind his head, shamelessly checking you out. “god, you’re so beautiful. take off your top for me, baby.” he gripped the hem of your shirt before pulling it off your body, he threw the shirt on his desk, hitting his mic, unknowingly causing it to unmute. he reached behind you to quickly press end stream, noticing his mic light was on. he glanced at his discord, seeing mingyu and seungcheol were still on the call. he decided to have fun. “come here, baby.” he gestured for you to climb on his lap, which you did immediately. making mingyu and seungcheol’s ears perk up on the other line.

“you’re wearing too much clothes.” you whined, gripping his hoodie, which he chuckled at, before reaching down and discarding the hoodie he had on.

“better?”

“god, yes.” you whimpered, fingers tracing his toned chest. you leaned forward, placing your lips on his neck, peppering him with soft kisses, and occasionally sucking on the spots you know he loves. you felt his hands rest on your ass, squeezing it, prompting you to grind your hips on his. your wetness transferring to his dick, a smirk forming on his face when he felt it.

“we barely even started, and you’re already dripping for me, princess.” wonwoo grabbed one of your breasts, placing his mouth near it. ��what am i going to do with you?”

“please.” arching your back which made his mouth graze against your tits, you nearly cried at the contact. he hummed in amusement before swallowing your nipple with his mouth. you threw your head back, gripping his shoulders. he circled his tongue around the bud before pulling away and doing the same on your other boob. “wonwoo, please just fuck me already. been wanting you all night.” you begged.

“my poor girl, have you been waiting long?” he asked, to which you nodded. he lifted your hips before aligning his cock at your entrance, rubbing his tip along your folds, making you shiver. without warning, he gripped your body to sink down onto his cock, which made you yelp.

“oh god, your dick is so big!” you cried out, unaware that there were two people listening in on you.

mingyu groaned as he imagined you bouncing on his cock. it felt so wrong, but it was driving him insane. seungcheol, on the other hand, shamelessly already had his shorts down and his cock out, stroking it at every sound you made.

“fuck, how are you so tight every time?” wonwoo growled as you bounced on his cock. his hands lazily guided you, but you were too high on his cock that you were doing it all on your own. he watched as your boobs bounced along with your movement. the sound of skin slapping echoed throughout the room, beads of sweat forming on your forehead as you continued riding his cock. “look at you, you love fucking yourself on my cock, huh?” nodding at his words as you were too lightheaded to speak. your stomach forming knots as he talked you through it. you loved it when he talked dirty with you, his deep voice mumbling the words you wanted to hear driving you completely insane.

“love–” nails digging into his shoulder, “your cock inside me.” you gasped out. his grip on your hip tightened, holding you in place as he thrusts his hips instead. you cursed out his name as the tip of his cock kissed your cervix with every pound. your head falling on his shoulder, you planted sloppy kisses on his skin. he let out groans, breathing out as he felt your lips on him. “w-woo, i can’t.” closing your eyes, he quickened his pace.

“take my cock like the slut you are.” you clenched around him, as he repeatedly rammed into you. you pulled away from his neck and stared into his eyes. his eyes were dark, brows furrowed as he brought you over the edge.

“fuck, baby. i’m gonna cum.” you moaned as your hips met his.

“cum with me, princess.” with a few more thrusts, your orgasm came crashing down. your knees feeling weak as you felt wonwoo’s cum paint your walls white. your body gave up, curling up to his sweaty chest. trying to catch each other’s breaths.

“i love you.” mumbling against his chest.

“i love you, too, baby.” you felt wonwoo swivel his gaming chair around, speaking into his mic. “enjoyed the show, boys?” your eyes widened, pulling away from his chest. he grabbed the headphones to place them near your ears.

“jesus christ, didn’t know you guys were kinky as shit.” mingyu spoke out, your cheeks flushing.

“that was hot as fuck.” seungcheol admitted, his dick limp from jerking off. you slapped wonwoo’s chest, which he only laughed at. secretly finding it hot that they were listening in the entire time.

“keep it to your imagination. remember, she’s mine.” wonwoo sheepishly smiled at you before kissing you softly.

“w boyfriend.” you giggled against his lips.

[sunshineyuyu]

silky smooth (p. sh)

★ pairing: seonghwa x f!reader ★ genre: smut (but soft!!), mdni!! ★ word count: 1.5k ★ tags/warnings: oral (m rec), oral (f rec), vaginal fingering, piv sex (implied w/o a condom), seonghwa is a lil anxious but reader reassures him ★ notes: in response to this anon ask! this is a non-beta'd, stream of consciousness, soft smut part 2 to friends with benefits a roommate!

you and seonghwa make out in the door way, giggly and both so fluttery happy to having finally admitted your feelings to each other.

you make your way to seonghwa's bed, and things get hot and heavy. you’re in his lap, lips searing as they move from his lips to his neck, when suddenly he pulls back.

“wha- is everything okay?” you’re like.

“yeah…” seonghwa runs his hands along your thighs nervously and seems to avoid your gaze, looking at a spot above your shoulder.

“so, when you said you and mingi never really hooked up—?”

you sigh. “that first time, we made out a little, and then kinda… groped each other? but we were super drunk, and it felt really weird because we’re such good friends, i guess? so we just went to sleep. and then i met you, so… every time after that i was just inviting myself over to hang out with you in the mornings.”

this makes seonghwa feel marginally better. he’s been friends and roommates with mingi since college, so he’s heard enough to know that mingi is good in bed, and feels comforted that he won’t have to compete with him.

but now, there’s a new anxiety bubbling up—

he hasn’t been with someone else in… a while. he’s been so go go go with work that it’s only been him, his hand, and whatever video happens to pop up first on the home page of his favorite porn site. even then, they’d been unsatisfactory—hurried sessions in the shower to take off the edge, lazy jerks just before bed.

he finally has his dream girl in bed, and he’s scared he’s going to mess this up. they’ve only been making out for a few minutes, and already he’s so hard and pent up.

“do you not want to tonight?” you ask gently.

“no!” he says, a little too frantically. “no—i want to. we’ve waited long enough, don’t you think?”

you grin at that, and lean down to kiss him again, but you can probably still feel some of the tension in his shoulders because you hold off. you peck his cheek softly.

“... is there something else on your mind?” you say.

“it’s- uh- it’s been a while,” he finally admits.

“that’s okay,” you sa y. “i don’t care about that. ‘cause- y’know. it’s you. and i really like you.”

“...really?” when seonghwa says he hasn’t been with someone in a while, he also means emotionally. it’s been even longer than a while since he’s been vulnerable with someone. but you’re so comforting and comfortable that he wants to try—he really does. there’s just still a mental barrier in the way.

“yeah,” you say, giving this earth shattering smile that makes his stomach feel flighty and his chest feel warm. “it’ll be good no matter what.”

“o- okay,” he says.

“why don’t i take the lead?” you say. your words are so kind and thoughtful, but your eyes have gone all half-lidded and sultry. he feels himself getting worked up again. “help you get out your head a little?”

seonghwa nods, licking his lips when he notices how dry his mouth has gone.

you start slow. mouthing at his neck and nosing at the collar of his sleep shirt. it’s one of those silk button-up kind, and he usually keeps the top one undone, likes some space around his throat when he sleeps. now—it means you have free reign over his entire decolletage. 

your lips are so fucking soft.

you nip at his skin, then soothe the little bites with tiny kitten licks. it’s nothing terribly raunchy, but he feels himself melt into putty under your touch.

you’re oh so careful with him, and he appreciates it so much.

slowly, you unbutton the rest of his shirt, your lips following your fingers down his front. he feels less anxious now, but he’s still breathing heavily, body wrought with anticipation. 

when you reach the waistband of his bottoms, you look up at him, and he nearly busts on the spot at the sight of your doe eyes looking up at him like that.

“this okay?” you say, and you sound nearly as breathless as he feels.

he nods. 

“words?” you ask, as you kiss the spot just under his navel.

god, he never thought of his stomach as an erogenous zone, but he has to hold back a moan as he opens his mouth to respond to you.

“yes,” he bites out. “please,” he adds as an afterthought.

the luxurious glide of his silk bottoms as you slip them down his legs makes him shiver. then he feels your hot breath ghost along his clothed cock, straining against the cotton of his briefs.

both of you sigh when you finally pull off his briefs.

“knew you’d have a pretty cock,” you say, and seonghwa thinks his entire body much be blushing.

“don’t worry,” you smile. “i’ll take good care of you.”

you keep intense eye contact with him as you lick a stripe up his length, and he gasps. and then you take the head into your mouth, and he thinks he sees god.

your mouth is so perfect and warm and wet. you’re teasing him, the way you take forever to take his full cock into your mouth. and you just keep going, all the way to your throat. you hum, and he nearly loses his mind.

and then—you start bobbing your head up and down, tonguing at the veins on the underside of his cock. he’s so sensitive and so pent up and so enamoured by you. 

“ah- oh! you- ah! omygod, omygod. please please please, fuck—!” he’s never whined like this before with anyone. usually he’s the one in control, but now he’s the one at your mercy, and you know what you’re doing to him.

“wait wait wait—” he pulls you off his cock. “sorry sorry! i was about to- uh- i didn’t want to before—” he breaks off awkwardly. his entire body thrums with arousal. feverishly, he thinks he might understand the merits to edging after stopping you just in time.

“mmm,” you say, seductive but also teasing. “good call.”

“can you- can i take this off?” he asks shyly, playing with the hem of your shirt. he’s only just realized that he’s basically naked, and you’re still fully clothed. “can i take care of you now?”

you grin at him.

so he undresses you, a little desperately. he feels a little crazed after ripping away his own orgasm, and he’s chasing after that high by making you feel just as good as you made him feel.

he kisses you everywhere. you have the nicest tits he’s ever seen. buries his face into them. licks and pinches your nipples. runs his hands reverently over your hips and waist. palms your ass. 

spreads your thighs.

“you’re- you’re pretty, too,” he says, while licking your clit and relishing in the way you moan and your legs tighten around his head. “everywhere, but especially here.”

it’s been a while, so he just tries everything. fucks you with his tongue first, really tastes you, before plunging two fingers into you. he moves back to licking and sucking on your clit while his finger quirk up inside you, searching for that spot.

you’re so good with him. guiding and praising him so that his confidence grows, and soon, you’re cumming. your pussy clenches down on his fingers, and your back arches off the bed, and you moan his name like he’s god.

he made you cum.

“was that okay?” he asks.

“more than okay,” you pant. “now please fuck me.”

so he does. if he thought your mouth was amazing, it’s nothing compared to your cunt. your perfect wet cunt that sucks him like you’re made for him.

both of you are babbling messes as he fucks clumsily into you.

“yes—right there, baby, right there! so good, so good—fuck!” you tell him.

“oh, god. oh, god. you’re so fucking perfect. you feel so fucking good. i’m not gonna last—fuck!”

it’s short, but it’s good, and seonghwa has the best orgasm of his life. afterwards, he cleans you up with his mouth and coaxes one more orgasm from you.

“so,” you say. “okay?”

“yeah,” he says, grinning. “more than okay.”

“i told you,” you sing.

he insists on showering again with you because he never goes to sleep without feeling clean, and you oblige him because “i like you so so much, park seonghwa.”

and then you’ll fall asleep together—you’re wearing the silk top, and he wears the bottoms, and together you make a perfect set.

[fluermer]

Small town boyfriend Toji head-canons!

a/n: wrote this while listening to Crush by Ethel Cain...he's so ugghh!

small town boyfriend!toji who begrudgingly downloads a dating app after a concerning long dry spell and can't believe his eyes when he sees your pic. Who thinks you can't be real because he sure would have noticed someone so beautiful in town by now...

small town boyfriend!toji who powers his phone off and back on when the notification pops up saying it's a match because surely this was some kind of error.  Whose mouth goes dry when you send the first text and can't hardly type 'sure' quick enough when you actually want to meet. Who's confident your messing with him  as he agrees to pick you up .

small town boyfriend!toji who lets baby Megumi help him pick which flowers to get you and picks the best one of his three 'good shirts' to wear to see you, practically sweating through it as he drives thirty minutes in the opposite direction from the diner to pick you up, not that he'd tell you.

small town boyfriend!toji who can't believe his eyes when he sees you in person because your photos are pretty but you...your everything in person. Who realizes maybe this place isn't a total shithole as he finds himself laughing and talking more with you than he has with anyone in a long time through the whole night.

small town boyfriend!toji Who prays you'll want to see him again the whole way back to your place, who gives a gruff "I'd like that" when you finally do.

small town boyfriend!toji who delete the stupid app after the first date, and knows your the one by the second. Who saves your number with a tired smile before he sleeps.

small town boyfriend!toji who's an old-fashioned man and knows to show up ten minutes early to the rest of your dates and waits patiently outside in his truck and new good shirt. Who holds the door open for you wherever you go and tosses down his crumpled dollar bills before you can even reach your purse and tells you you can "Pay him back on the next one" with the same small grin on his scarred lip. (He'll never let you)

small town boyfriend!toji who works a blue collar job and takes up extra jobs in various construction sites to buy you something nice for your birthday, a nice necklace for your date, and forgets all about the new strain in his back when you beam over it. Who's hellbent on getting you earrings to go with it as signs up for another shift.

small town boyfriend!toji who happily waits outside in the dark parking lot outside your work when you stay later than normal. Not because he doesn't trust you to protect yourself but because he doesn't want you to have to.

small town boyfriend!toji who tries to cut his smoking to half a pack a week when you fuss over his cough. Who smokes less in his truck and never before he sees you.

small town boyfriend!toji who has strange scars, a raspy voice, and suspicious income for a blue collar worker that makes your family and friends wary. Who happily takes extra servings of your aunt/mom/grandma/older friend's meal with a sauve 'yes ma'am'.

small town boyfriend!toji who wins them over with his suprisingly wordly knowledge and good manners.

small town boyfriend!toji who's jackets always smell like Marlboro reds and his cologne as he tosses it over your shoulders to keep you from the sudden rain or the cold ac in the stores.

small town boyfriend!toji who gets comfortable enough to sometimes just drive around town with you after you've visited every decent place in town. Playing old rock cds from the 80's as he listens to you yap about your day. Humming every now and then as he clings to ever word.

small town boyfriend!toji who knows he loves you but won't rush you to say it. Who after 2 months tries to show it you and takes you to 'favorite spot' at the edge of town; a small stream hidden by a bramble of trees under the bridge. Who knows he loves you as he teaches you to skip rocks, purposely fumbling a few to hear you laugh.

small town boyfriend!toji who has no interest in shopping or fashion but doesn't complain when you want to visit a thrift store outside town. Who finds he's happy to drive the hour and change when he sees you light up at the aisles, whose mouth goes dry when you try anything on as he nods in approval. Voice gruff as he asks you to turn so he can see the back, who immediately pulls out his wallet when he sees how it fits.

small town boyfriend!toji who knows how to hunt and keeps his rifle and arrow in the backseat Who takes a minute to answer when you suddenly pause your back of truck makeout sesh to ask about the case on the floor, who's already back to kissing your neck as he promises to show you after.

small town boyfriend!toji who is a man of his word in every sense, who knows how many wild animals roam the town and takes you out onto an empty field to show you how to use his rifle... just in case.  Who's hands are calloused and big and warm on your hip as they guide your hand to hold it, who's voice is raspy and low over your shoulder as he directs you. Who whistles a low 'atta girl' when you pierce the empty can.

small town boyfriend!toji who takes you and Megumi to the county fair when it comes to town. Whose heart flutters in a way it hadn't in years when he sees how good you are with him and how much the kid liked you. Who scores a ginormous stuffed blue bear for you and snickers as you try and carry it to the car, Megumi passed out on his hip.

small town boyfriend!toji who realizes he's fucked when he finds himself searching for rings until 2am and invests in a savings account the next day.

small town boyfriend!toji Who saves up enough to take you and Megumi on a real vacation out of this boring town. Who won't tell you where you're going when he invites you on another date past Megumi's bedtime.

small town boyfriend!toji who tells you to open your eyes as he leads you down a trail of candles and your favorite flowers to a pretty spot away from prying eyes.

small town boyfriend!toji who isn't religious but prays to everything above that you'll say yes as he proposes under the stars. Who's usually gruff and indifferent voice gets a little choked up when you do and kisses you like there's no tomorrow.

small town boyfriend!toji who that night gives the stupid dating app a 5 star rating while you sleep on his chest.

[sideofvy]

Hair Care

c/w: gender neutral reader, sfw, domestic fluff, reader has long hair, reader is a bit of a menace, not beta read

a/n: i got all my information about sitetampo from his streams and japanese fandom sites but i'm not 100% fluent in japanese yet. so if you find something that i got wrong please tell me!

„How dare you?“

“Hm?“, Sitetampo looked up at you. You just came out of the shower now standing in the doorway from the bathroom to your shared bedroom. His thumb stops swiping on his phone, while his other hand was still roughly rubbing his freshly bleached hair dry with a towel, „was the hot water empty i promise-„

“It‘s not about the water, it‘s about this“ you point at the way he is drying his hair, pouting, „this is terrible. And your shampoo is terrible, and your conditioner is stretched with water!“

Sitetampo drops his towel, and it carelessly falls onto his shoulder, his mind racing why this was suddenly a problem. „I‘m sorry?“

„You should be“ you grumble, a little over the top, before walking back into the bathroom, carefully pressing your hair with a towel, to dry it without breaking.

Sitetampo stays seated on the bed before he decides to follow you, playing into your antics. He pops his head through the door, „babe, what exactly am I sorry for again?“

Without looking away from yourself in the mirror, you push your bottle of hair oil into his eyesight, „what it that?“ He looks at you confused. „That's it. This is what you are sorry for“, you pout again and start massaging the hair oil into your ends, hoping to soothe your hair that has been stressed from the dry air lately.

“I‘m super sorry, for not knowing what hair products you use?“ He tries with a small smile and stands next to you in front of the mirror. Picking up his hairbrush, an old plastic brush that has definitely seen better days.

Disapprovingly you look at that sad excuse of a hairbrush, “You are not brushing your wet hair with that thing right?“

“I always brush my hair with that“ even though he was aware of you just teasing, slowly your antics made him feel defensive about his almost non existent hair routine.

“And that's the problem, you rub your hair dry, you bleach it every month, you use the cheapest shampoo you can find and your conditioner is 90% water at this point. And it still is that healthy, and shiny, and pretty.“ you complain with just the slightest smile, no longer able to keep up the front, washing the leftover hair oil from your hands,

Your favourite laugh fills the room, „just let me get this right“, he smiles at you, finally getting behind your fake-pouty mood, „you are mad at me, because you think that I have nice hair?“

“No, I‘m mad at you because you have nice hair without trying.“ You finally turn to him now full on pouting again. „And that's just not fair.“

“You are so right, the universe chose the wrong person to give healthy hair to, it should have been you“, Sitetampo steps behind you, laying his hands on your hips, keeping eye contact with you through the mirror. His eyes are fond, as he takes in your appearance.

“Now you get it“, you fake whine, a little giggle in your voice.

“I‘m so sorry for having perfect hair“, his voice is teasing but soft, his thumbs rubbing small circles into your skin.

“You better be“, you take one of his hands in yours squeezing it for a short moment, „can I brush it? I have a detangler for wet hair. And maybe some leave in conditioner?“

You can feel him nodding in your back, and he squeezes your hips again, „i think I gave myself a bird's nest while drying.“ His voice low as he admits his hair care faults.

“That's why you should press your hair dry.“ You laugh softly and he does too as he joins in.

“Teach me next time?“ An honest request.

You're endeared by his low voice and soft gestures, „of course. Now sit down in front of the couch, I grab my things.“ A kiss is pressed into the back of your neck that makes all the little hairs on your body stand up. Before he slowly steps away from you walking to your living room.

You join him just a couple of seconds later, seeing SItetampo sitting on the ground before the couch, a gameplay video of a brawls stars match running in his phone, before he switches to his football game and then to some messages, back to the gameplay, his brain back on the search of constant simulation. Suppressing another giggle you sit down behind him. He straightens his terrible posture a little as you start spraying the conditioner on his hair. „Tell me if I hurt you, yeah?“ Your fingers are already digging into his hair, softly massaging in the conditioner. He mumbles affirmatively, leaning into your touch. His phone forgotten, as soon as you start to gently brush his hair. His thumbs still for once.

The process is easy thanks to the conditioner and the unfairly good state his hair is in. Sitetampo fully leans into the soft strokes of the brush. „Are you actually angry about my hair?“

You almost missed his quiet question, lost in thought as your work through his hair, „of course not. I‘m just teasing.“

“I would shave it off for you“, he offers and you are unsure if he is actually joking about it.

“Don’t, you love your hair, I love your hair.“ His hair is detangled and you instead softly massage his upper neck now, pressing your fingers into his shoulders every now and then.

“I love you more“, it was not clear if Sitetampo was listening to himself right now, or if his brain had already turned into mush at the gentle treatment.

The smile on your lips is soft, and your body feels warm, with affection.

“No shaving, just a new conditioner.“ You can‘t help but tease him just one last time.

“Deal, but only if you brush my hair more often from now on.“

“Deal.“

[miyamizuna]

The Girls in Argentina

oikawa x f.reader cw: angst, nickname shittykawa w.c. 2.2k summer festival, broken dreams, broken hearts.

Do girls in Argentina love you like I loved you? Do they know you like I know you? Do they want you like I want you? These are often thoughts that pop into your head. 18,059 kelometres away from you (approximately) is a boy you once loved. Living his life out probably not thinking about you in the slightest. Doesn’t he know you watch every game he plays? Does he know you have bought every single piece of merchandise that has his god forsaken name on it? Absolutely not. God you must seem delusional. So why are you standing in front of the summer festival alone?

“Hey Toru” 

It was the midst of the summer festival during 1st year. Merely knowing each other for a couple of months. Rushing into a relationship with no thought or consequence. He had told you his plans from the start, but you paid no mind. It's that moment when something just clicks within; a feeling of a scene that lights up a scene with a glow and a pop. Colours stream all across the sky. Eyes sparkle with curiosity as colors illuminate the sky.

“Well, aren't they pretty?” He asks you in that ever so sweet tone, leaning against the metal railing with his arms resting against them and god, that ever so god forbidding smirk across his pretty face. 

“They are pretty” Is all you could muster up as you look upon the midnight sky lit with fireworks.

Like as if you were in a sappy romance movie,  he pulls you in. He grabs you by your waist, pulling you close to him. “God how sappy can this man get” you think as a smile creeps out from your teeth.

“Let's do this every year.” He lets out into the cool midnight air.

“I would love that Toru!” you exclaim with certain joy as if this new tradition was a promise. 

God, how naive are teenagers?

So why? Why isn’t he here with you right now? How many promises has he broken? How many will it take to finally let go? 

and out of all god-forsaken people you can go with, you go with his high school friends?

“This really takes me back to high school you know” Hanamaki exclaims as he raises his hand to the sky as if he were trying to grab the fireworks in the air.

“You look stupid” Matsukawa buds in with the same stupid look on his face.

“Hey! Can’t a guy reminisce?” Makki pouts and frowns as he lowers his hand from the sky to subconsciously put on the railing.

There is a long pause as the three of you watch the fireworks together. It feels empty as if the air has shifted or something is missing. 

“You know It’s weird, Oikawa isn’t here with us, Iwaizumi too,” Makki stated as if that’s what everybody was thinking

“I guess you’re right.” Mattsun agrees as he looks at you standing there with your eyes focused on the site ahead. “You’ve been awfully quiet,” he adds on looking at you with slight concern.

“Not much to add on.” you simply state as you don’t look back at him, rather paying attention to the night sky that faces you.

“Missing Oikawa again?” Makki questions with a raised eyebrow as he now begins to stare at you too.

“Now why would I be missing him? It’s been years since I’ve last seen him.” You explain with a scoff as you finally turn to face the two boys; their faces with a look of pity causing your face to soften. “Besides, he’s definitely moved on. Probably with some pretty lady in Argentina, I’d think.” 

Just like that, you managed to avoid a bullet of talking about your feelings, pushing everything aside and making everything awkward again. Great.

In your second year of high school, things just about added up the same. The same summer festival, the same person you spent it with,  that being the salty as ever Oikawa.

“Ushiwaka is such an annoyance! I would have gone to nationals if he wasn’t so lame” Oikawa pouts in his oh-so-dramatic tone as he crosses his arms as he sits on the grass along the hill.  

“You’ll get him next time, Oikawa.” You console him as you rub his back in comfort. 

“I better! Tobio-chan will be a 1st year starting next spring as well, making everything more difficult." His expression was one disgusted look when he mentioned his former kohai.

“You’re cute when you’re angry you know…” You blurt out unintentionally, smiling at the thought. Everything about him was beautiful, his glowing brown eyes, his fluffy brown hair, his attractive smirk, and his disgustingly addicting personality. He looked just like a prince that would appear in dreams.

“Oh? You think so?” He teased in that stupid flirty tone of his. As he grabs your face, planting a quick kiss on your lips. Short but sweet, just how he liked to kiss you.

He was a drug, and you were addicted.

“Oi Shittykawa! There you are.” A voice calls out from behind. You both turn your head towards the owner of the voice. It was Iwaizumi.

“Iwa! You really know how to ruin the moment, don’t you?” Oikawa exclaimed as he angrily glared at his best friend. He knew that his best friend wasn’t at all intimidated by his presence. You couldn’t help but laugh as the situation unfolded in front of you, causing Oikawa to shoot you a glare too.

“Well, you’re the one who decided to run off to make out with y/n” Iwaizumi counters as he grabs Oikawa by his collar, now dragging him along the grass. “C'mon you two, let's go back to Hanamaki and Matsukawa.” 

“Hey, Hey! Let me go Iwa! I can walk on my own!” Oikawa insists with no avail as Iwaizumi continues to drag him across the grass. “Y/n! Give your boyfriend a bit of help here!” 

“Coming! Coming!”  You reply chasing after the two of them in your yukata and geta.

You begin to wander the festival alone, splitting off from Mattsun and Makki. In a sea of people, how does one get so lonely? The food stalls, kids laughing and smiling whilst enjoying the various carnival games, and local shops lined the pathway along the shrine; none of current interest to you.  Why did you even come to this festival anyway? Don’t you have better things to do?

“Y/n?” That voice… Iwaizumi?

“Y/n it’s me-“

“Iwaizumi? What are you doing here?!?” Shocked, you turn around to meet Iwaizumi with a mouth agape. “Not that you can’t be here! I just would think you would be in Tokyo and not Miyagi right now!” 

Iwaizumi just lets out a smile and pats your head as you let out a yelp. “Well, I had time off, so I took it.” He explains with a joyful look on his face, most likely due to that he’s happy he got time off from his job. “I’d assume Makki and Mattsun are here right now as well?”

You nod your head in agreement. “Makki and Mattsun are by our normal spot near the railings.”

“I’ll go and meet them then. You coming with me?” He asks you as he starts walking in the direction where the two others are.

“No, I think I'm going to wander around a bit. I’m sure you and the two of them have a lot of catching up to do.” You inform him as he begins to walk away.

“See you later then, Y/n” He waves

“You too Iwaizumi.” 

Time flows fast no matter how you think about it. 3 years you’ve known Oikawa, and now it’s a ticking time bomb until the expiration date.

The same summer festival, the same scene, the same everything, though this time It feels like the world is ending.

“Will you still be here to watch the fireworks after high school Toru?” you question as you hug your knees to your chest as you rest your head on his shoulder.

“Maybe, the future is unknown.” He answers whilst he sits on the grass arms resting in his kneecaps.

“I see” is a simple but expressive answer, but it describes exactly how you were feeling.

Suddenly an awkward silence fills the air, as if the air in your lungs feels tight and you couldn’t breathe even if you tried.

“So it’s official, you’re going away?” 

“It’s official.” He says while looking to the ground with a saddened soft expression. It’s rare he’d ever make an expression like this, he’s always playing a part around others after all. “Don’t be sad though, let's enjoy all the time we have left together,” he suggests as he takes the arm closest to you and wraps it around your side pulling you in closer. 

“I guess we should.” You say in agreement. though, it doesn’t reflect how you truly feel. You feel as if you want to stop him from leaving, change his mind, and fight for the two of you, but who are you to tell Oikawa Toru what to do? He is his own person. He is capable of making decisions for himself. You knew what you were getting yourself into. He told you his dream. He told you from the start that he wanted to play for Argentina. So what gives you the right to be selfish and convince him to stay?

“I love you, Y/n. Remember that.” 

And with that, a kiss on the forehead, the fireworks show ends with a blank canvas of the midnight sky.

You find yourself at the place where the two of you had spent the 3 years of summer festivals together, looking out onto the grassy hill you decide to walk over and take a seat on the grass. You stare into the night sky as if it was like an empty void. Once the show of lights ends, the sky becomes empty. It's like how fireworks can’t be noticed without the midnight sky behind them. 

“You look awfully lonely.”

Wait… no it can’t be.

“Mind if I sit with you? Such a pretty lady shouldn’t be sitting by herself at a summer festival.” 

Oikawa Toru..?

You look away from the sky and to the person now sitting beside you. It was him. It was Oikawa Toru. The man who you had been longing for all these years. He looked older, a bigger build than he did in high school, but it sure was him. 

“But Toru, aren’t you supposed to be-“

“Shh, I wouldn’t break a promise would I?” *He interrupts as he wraps a hand around your waist just like when you guys were teenagers. 

“You’ve broken the promise for five years straight.” You rebuttal with a smile on your face as he really did fulfil his promise this time.

“That… Shouldn’t matter! I’m here now!”  He sweats knowing that he actually did break his promise he made in the 1st year of high school.

A long moment of silence fills the air as the two of you sit under the moonlight. Just enjoying each other's presence.  Neither daring to break the silence.

“I couldn’t get you out of my head you know…” Oikawa admits as he exhales deeply, taking the leap and breaking the former silence that hung over the two of you, whilst hugging you tighter. “Every girl I’d date just never felt the same. It wasn’t you.”

“I thought I was the only one who felt that way…” you reply to his problem as you relate to it deeply.

“Though, Is it true that you own everything that has my face on it?” He teased with that signature smirk on his face. 

“Way to ruin a moment.” You roll your eyes and play-punch his chest as you still keep the same close distance as before. You were going to kill Makki and Mattsun later.

“Sorry, sorry.” He laughs as he tries to deflect your playful punches. 

Five years later, the two of you still click like it was high school, it’s like no time has passed. Both, are entangled and in love. It all plays out like it has previously. He cups your cheek, leans in, and kisses you. Though this time, it felt like a kiss of longing. One of hunger, of passion.  It wasn’t the quick kiss Toru used to give you. Maybe… This is realization.

As the kiss ends, you're left staring into each other's eyes. “It won’t ever work out, will it Toru?” you ask in a quiet manner, as if speaking loudly will shatter the moment.

He stares into your eyes a bit longer before hugging you tightly. “You’re right, It won’t.” he sighs and he starts playing with your done-up hair. “But… being with you will always feel like home,” he says reassuringly as he continues to hug you close. 

Maybe, life will never bring you two close again, but It’s damn certain no girl in Argentina had his heart like you did.

fuck i love oikawa- ©miyamizuna 2024

[droughtofapathy]

Your line about how people 40 or under are mainly trained to use contemporary musical theatre techniques (belting, or screlting if we’re cynically speaking), got me thinking.

Do you think that this is a case of younger people not really having a strong interest in how musical theatre actually sounded pre 90’s/00’s?

They probably imagine that a lot of older MT scores sound repetitive and same-y (then again a lot of new shows sound repetitive, and not every era is perfect), but there’s a part of me that feels like younger people are missing out on some genuinely rich scores made many years ago just waiting for people of the new generation to be inspired by (whether it be singers or composers).

Oh, and yeah I agree with you, acting is severely overlooked nowadays and it’s sad.

While I do think that the young generation of any time has always scorned the past music in some way, it does feel like young people (under 25ish) today especially have no curiosity. Not only in regards to past musical theatre scores, but just everything. If it's not being spoonfed, they don't--or can't--take the initiative to find it themselves.

Some (many?) of them don't even know how. I see so many reddit posts by young people asking the most basic questions you can imagine. Things you can easily find just by looking it up online. A recent one was someone asking if there had ever been any biographies written about the Gershwins because all they could find about them was the wikipedia article. They don't know how to google and part of it is because google has become a shitty AI hellscape. But part of it is that they just want it fed to them. They don't have the attention span or the patience to do some digging. If they're not getting Bye Bye Birdie handed to them on their phone, they don't care.

Not only with music, but with history as a whole. We live in an age where the past is more accessible on a widescale than ever before. In the last seven weeks, I've listened to every available Broadway cast recording from 1947 to 1971, and there is such a collection of wonderful music from this time. Sure, a significant amount doesn't hold up well and it starts to blend together once you've gone through 270+ in rapid succession, but it's still worth hearing.

But kids aren't growing up with Golden Age movie musicals on VCR. They don't have their parents old show records on the turntable. Maybe some do, but not on the widespread scale they used to. And not having that early exposure is limiting. It's growing increasingly uncommon to have even DVD or CD players in the home now, and streaming services are just not as effective as popping in the VCR to watch The Sound of Music for the dozenth time with the whole family. And some of it feels like people only want to watch or listen to the brand new thing that everyone else is instead of going off alone to quietly enjoy something four other people are talking about online.

I'd argue that it isn't even just pre-90s/00s, but anything more than a decade old. New music is getting shorter, designed to go "viral" with some fifteen-second clip on the apps. Even among young theatre kids who love musicals, they're only familiar with the same dozen shows. Hamilton is only ten years old, but it's already being largely dismissed and mocked. And sure, yes, it was made for a very specific Obama-era feeling, and part of its negative connotation nowadays is because the fandom was a little...much, shall we say (lest we forget the T.Jeff Mikyu binder incident...) But it was still a rare instance in which rap and hip-hop in a Broadway musical became mainstream. But nowadays the kids are all so afraid of being "cringe" that they've been conditioned by this chronically online culture to not be curious about the past. It isn't all their fault, but they aren't doing anything to change it.

A prime example of this casual dismissal of anything old is any and every Best Musical poll that circulated this site last year and the year before. Look at the shows that won. A clear bias for contemporary pop shows and such limited interest in learning about some of the canon's greatest works. I had teens in my anon inbox absolutely furious that I dared to claim Chicago was an objectively better musical from a creative standpoint than that internet show. Sure, that one was probably fun and it was okay to like it, but it just does not exist on the same level as a Kander & Ebb that has remained relevant for over fifty years and will probably run until Broadway dies. That youtube musical is not. But they have this mindset that old = bad and wrong and sometimes even inherently racist/sexist/homophobic because there are outdated terms and period-typical attitudes. A young person on the Sondheim reddit recently said that A Little Night Music was problematic because the age gap between Anne and Frederick was gross. As if that wasn't the intended takeaway to begin with.

And now I feel like I've written an essay when I should be writing my Ragtime AU. Please excuse me while I return to my dated and boring fanfiction adaptation.

[shocked-collar]

SO I NEVER TALK ABOUT MY FAN-KIDS SO LET ME DO JUST THAT. Let's meet Benny and Kveta :3

(Hard warning: cruelty to children awaits. Nothing incredibly severe or extreme, nothing you wouldn't see in a dark novel/game/show/movie, it's just Strade 'taking care' of his things the only way he knows how: with overreactions and shocking-restraints, and Lawrence doing the same his way.)

Benny was originally an "attraction" of sorts for Strade's stream after he got a captive pregnant on accident, and decided to keep them around to document their growth. They ended up giving birth prematurely, and those Daddy Instincts kicked in when Strade came to deal with the poor thing. Kept the lil' lad around, let the chat help him name him, even.

His room is in the attic, sporting a few toys, a chair to eat at, and his crib. It's up here he spends hours playing alone or crying for attention, as Strade doesn't always feel like being father-of-the-year. Benny is rich in separation anxiety, and when he gets old enough, he gets his own little pair of cuffs and a collar to keep him behaved. Ren is his primary caretaker when he arrives, but all of this isn't to say Strade is wrong to the babe. ...above what he does already. They are often found together around the home, usually simply existing together. Benny likes to use his pop's legs to practice standing, and Strade likes to use Benny as a belly-warmer when falling asleep on the couch. Benny likes it too! His dad makes for a good cushion. However, when compared, his FAVORITE place is Ren's tail when it curls around him. Neither of them wanted to admit it, but they both knew... Strade's son preferred his captive.

After Strade's death, Ren became overprotective, an understatement. The only violence Benny was ever exposed to under Ren's care was because of his own over-curious brain, sneaking down to the basement just in time to see a 21-year-old Ren carve into a (rare) captive's face. He was very quick to remedy the child's fear, but this is something Benny has always lived with- the red face. Even as an adult, though embarrassed to say, he fears he may see it around the corner when passing every now and again, or perhaps may run into it while trailing downstairs at night.

And then we have Rapunzel and Mother Gothel- oops, I mean Kveta and Lawrence, who have a very close connection, yet a very unstable one.

Kveta was very close with her parents. Unfortunately, her parents weren't very close with each other. It was a regular occurrence to leave the house at any time with her, so they can have some space and air out from each other. This would ultimately lead to disaster, as her mother lead her straight into the center of Lawrence's "special spot" while exploring the outskirts late at night. Yes, he was nearby. It was just a circumstance of wrong-place-wrong-time.

She saw the first trace of human and told her baby-girl to stay behind while she investigated. It was sometime soon she locked eyes with Lawrence from afar, and in her flee, she only had enough time to shout for her to hide. Law made quick work of her without knowledge of the little one on site. This was both a blessing as a curse, as though it spared her from seeing, or even experiencing anything, it left her alone in the woods for days to wander. Lawrence soon returned to the scene (either from paranoia, unfinished business, or a missing-persons poster,) and ended up finding her- or, rather, she found him, and the poor little things heart couldn't take it. It was an adult. Not a trusted adult like her ma and pa taught her, but it was an adult. ...Lawrence couldn't turn her away when she came to him in tears. She looked just like her mama- a reminder of the horrible thing he had done just days prior- except she was so small, and scared, and defenseless. Dirty, hungry, hurt, scared. He brought her home.

It was here he adopted her in the idea of a pet, almost. She's his responsibility now, though he doesn't call himself her dad, nor does he allow her to call him that- but they both know that's how she sees him. After spending some time together and learning about one-another, after she asked about her parents, (MUCH after being filled in by her 5-year-old way of explaining it,) he manufactured a story of abandonment, how her mother fought so badly with her father that she hated her and left her to the trees. But he found her, and he brought her home, and he saved her. She's 5, this man loves her now, she has never had a reason to not believe him.

Living with Lawrence was like living in a dome. No windows, no doors, no asking. His space was always primarily his, and through some sick appreciation, she felt the closet he turned into her room was the greatest gift she'd ever received. Unfortunately, Law had a hard time being good for her. He'd often lose his temper and raise his voice, would ignore her for hours at a time, would choose to feed himself over her sometimes, but he always made sure she was comfortable.

Unlike Benny, Kveta was exposed to violence. Very much of it, in fact. Not upon herself, I think Lawrence only has it in him to raise his hand once to that sweet girl, but upon others he brings in. He encourages her to engage in his 'art,' even. It's so scary, it's so gross, but she soon learns to appreciate it as a family activity. She grows up desensitized to gore and even takes after the beauty Lawrence finds in it. Additionally, she knows how to walk on eggshells with grace, is expressively stunted (and has no idea how to regulate them), is not-at-all booksmart, but is very intelligent otherwise. She can use blades with surgical precision and could care for an entire greenhouse round-the-clock if you let her.

Benny and Kveta cross paths many years after Ren lures Lawrence in. Law shared everything with that little girl, even things he shouldn't have, but the one thing she holds important is the picture he showed her on his computer. The man he was going to visit that day. The... fox... man... thing. The stupid fuck didn't do a good enough job covering his tracks during communications with Lawrence. She was able to hold onto those accounts, those DM's, those photos as time went by, and the moment she was able to, she began hunting. Where she found Ren, she found Benny, and boy was his ass lonely at that boring college.

Did she go there? No. Did he believe she did? Yeah. He didn't really have any reason to believe she didn't. Was she his friend? No. Did he believe she was? Yeah. She said so, he didn't really have any reason to believe she wasn't.

An eye for an eye.

[waterparksdrama]

I have no one levelheaded to discuss this stupid band with so I'm directing this to you but. Oh my god the way he constantly complains about having no hits is making me crazy. I get some of the frustration w fbr I guess but I feel like he's focused so hard on that and is scrambling to blame someone for them not being in arenas as if funeral grey radio play would have propelled them into household name superstars. They're not the world's biggest band but he genuinely seems so bitter they're not 21p or fob when they're doing well considering how the music industry is. It honestly puts a weirder taste in my mouth than the favoritism idgaf about that

here's what anon is referring to for context but wow still bitter as he was in 2022 when he was realizing they were going nowhere even with a label that famously fucks people over unless they're marketable enough but hey at least instead of lashing out at his own fans that provide for him he identified at least on source of his failures can't say that about every man's problems. too bad he didn't realize one of the problems was himself so that's another loss for self realization.

(can i also point out how he's clearly trying to play victim in a situation he brought attention to like yes this label is bad but are you trying to get them on your ass by saying the quiet part out loud????)

this pursuit shouldn't be surprising honestly, awsten always talks about wanting to be a pop star and is the worst with labels and fbr is one of the most draining alternative labels out there for trying to make every one of their artists a pop star and dump them if they're not marketable enough.

if you wanted to go deeper, i guess you could also root some of awsten's own obsession over business and metrics affecting the quality and reception to his works back to the people he looks up to/has boosted parx's career and him naturally adopting those habits in his own way. big example right now is finn mckenty aka the punk rock mba. parx got their start posting their music videos on his old music site, stuffyouwillhate.com which was a blog that covered alternative music and awsten has hung out with him irl on a tour stop in the past couple of years. and despite all this music stuff, finn has retired from his youtube channel because he says he actually hates music and only cares about money and essentially does a wiki read on all the bands he covers because he only cares about marketing. yeah sure okay dickbag at least you're being honest now but spewing out slop and blaming the market instead of going against your own interests is stupid lol.

don't even get me started on the maddens and their fucking outputs and crypto bro isms bleeding into everything they do. they had good songs i'll admit but that was like over ten years ago and even since they reunited, they haven't put out a new album since then to focus on stuff like buying altpress and attempting to cater to their decidedly alternative fanbase by shoehorning joel madden's podcasts (usually with mddn artists, most of which have dropped them as management at this point including parx) every fucking week and trying to make web3 stuff a thing on there for a couple years when PEOPLE ONLY FUCKING CARE ABOUT MUSIC AND NOT STUPID ATTEMPTS TO MAKE MONEY OFF OF BLOCKCHAIN DOLL MAKERS

ugh anyways you can already see some of these patterns and habits in awsten the real big difference is he genuinely does love music and making things and producing and being insane with thousands of demos but sometimes the business side gets the best of him thinking it must be transactional that because of the amount of insane work he can put into making even just one mixed and mastered song warrants success and if they don't get it, he will beg and barter his way with fans into getting enough streams for him to get one taco in houston or lash out when someone points out a flaw in that thinking because obviously he can't possibly be part of the reason waterparks isn't getting any bigger but just gaining a small portion of more insane fans who want to tear him to pieces and fuck the wounds all while he goes more insane with them because if he doesn't have the success he wants, he at least wants the consistent attention and affection he can get from fans that don't turn on him.

but yeah, sure funeral grey could've been a pop radio hit but maybe other things that led him to now could've changed too. - iz

[duckyfruitbat]

YoHoHo, It's a New Era of Pirating

I'm sure a lot of us have been ruminating on this lately, but first I want to draw some parallels.

Picture it, the year is 2005 and you are watching a movie you picked out with your grandma at blockbuster during your weekend visit to give your parents a god damned break from your bullshit. Relatable so far yes? You pop that disk in and sit down as grandma makes the popcorn and an odd little PSA comes up between the previews. It's the infamous pirating PSA that compares downloading films to car jacking. So what do you do? You download copious amounts of pirated music onto the computer under your fathers supervision of course, still pretty relatable right?

You have entered the world of media piracy my friend, an old tradition with a rich culture and history. The early 2000's were some wild times, piracy was at its peak, the internet was a lawless land, and the 2008 housing bubble was just around the corner, truly a glorious time.

Now needless to say, publishing companies hated piracy and were desperately trying to curb it but only through legislation through a government that didn't really care. It was already hard enough to catch one pirate so why waste resources to crack down on it. There was an attempted crackdown by the publishers but that completely failed, one infamous case was a grandma who didn't even have a computer.

This age of piracy was only stopped when Itunes and Netflix made their way online. That was only because everything was on these two websites and later also Hulu. The only people who continued to pirate were kids who didn't have money and anime fans. There were two specialized websites just for them.

Everything was going smoothly, until we get to today, now every studio has at least one streaming service and even then there is no guarantee that their own shows would even be up and they're all owned by the same five corporations. Discovery got in trouble not too long ago for deleting their own shows from their own streaming service. Disney still has a backlog to upload onto Disney+, and there are many exclusives between each site. It's very similar to what cable and satellite television was, gotta pay over a hundred dollars and you don't even watch half the channels. These streaming services are getting too specialized, sure it makes business sense especially when you already have a large library or you're just Disney, but when there are obscure TV channels trying to get their own service, you know something's wrong.

Somehow the music industry didn't go the same path, yes Spotify has its problems, especially for musicians, but it is far better than purchasing entire albums or the old piracy methods that always put your computer at risk.

The obvious consequence of all this is that piracy is once again going up once again. Why? Because it is far easier to pirate than it is to figure out which steaming service that Disney owned show you want to watch is on. The only reason Itunes and Netflix originally won was because it was more convenient to actually pay for the things you wanted to see and not have to worry about malware. That's a lesson that these corporations could benefit from again, but they are if anything stubborn.

Now because of the stubbornness of these corporations I will have a lot to talk about, specifically with all sorts of pirating methods, and some fun stories. I already talked about Tengen and their massive swinging balls of steel as they walked into the patent office to steal from Nintendo, but there is so much more. So plenty of legally dubious fun to be had!

[seraproto]

Achievements In RETRO Games?

Note: The following article will also be a video on my YouTube later. If you see references to that it's because this is a script. Video version is out now!

Howdy Earthlings, if you’ve watch my videos or read my posts you’ve probably seen me mention how important I think it is to have a wifi enabled retro handheld or to use a frontend like Retrobat or Daijisho. That’s because of a feature and site called Retro Achievements. Retro Achievements is just that, achievements like you’d expect from modern gaming but on retro games. It’s a cool website that has users contributing achievements for various retro games. To me this adds so much replay ability and is such an important feature to me that I will check if a game has achievements before I decide whether I’m playing it on original hardware or emulation. Yeah, for me this feature puts Emulation ABOVE original hardware. Sorry but the novelty of playing on original hardware isn’t as cool as the novelty of retro achievements. So I’m going to give you a mini guide on how this all works so you can start earning too.

What Is Retro Achievements?

The short version is RA is a way to earn achievements for retro games that are emulated. It’s a website that is user submitted and tracks all the achievements you have unlocked, what games you’ve earned for, what you’ve contributed, has a leaderboard, and tracks a ton of stats about your gaming habits. It’s kind of like social media too as you can look up people’s accounts and see what they’re playing and follow them. This is really cool because you can see what kind of games I play when I’m not streaming and even leave a comment on my page. You can also see how many people are tackling the achievements for a given game.

Why use Retro Achievements?

If you weren’t one of the people foaming at the mouth when I said “Achievements for Retro Games” then I don’t know what to tell you. Sometimes our dopamine deprived brains need little treats as we play the game to encourage us to finish it. It also makes playing games we’ve played before more interesting as some of these achievements ask us to play in creative ways to earn rarer achievements. I also like that it tracks my gaming stats so I can go “Oh, I have all these points but I haven’t finished a game in 6 months.”

How Does It Work?

It’s very easy to get started. You go to https://www.retroachievements.org then sign up an account. You use this account information to log into an emulator in the emulator’s settings. Not every emulator is going to have support for this so what I suggest is getting a front end or emulation station to handle the log in. Front ends are also very convenient, like on android Daijisho handles picking emulators for me as well as putting my games in a launch list like you’d see on a console. I recommend checking out this video from Retro Game Corps on how to set up Retrobat. It can be a little annoying to set up but once you do you’re not going to want to go back, it’s super convenient.

Then once you sign into RA through a front end or emulator you pick a game and start playing. It’ll tell you if the game has achievements or not and how many you have unlocked with a pop up. Some front ends also let you check whether they have achievements using a little trophy icon. Note that you need to be connected to wifi for this to work. Hence why I make a big deal about getting a retro handheld with wifi. Once you’re logged it and connected to the net it’s automatic, you don’t even need to check the site or whatever. Although you should check back in after 100 points so you can add a profile picture.

What games have achievements?

No achievements for you, Jimbo.

As I mentioned, not all games are going to have achievements. Since the achievements are made by users and there are 1000 GBA games not all of them are going to be blessed by our achievement lords and saviors. So games that have achievements are going to be ones are popular for the most part. But the best way to find out is to just try. I’ve been surprised by what has achievements. Like you wouldn’t expect Pokemon Mini’s games to have achievements but they do. Even more surprising the translations also have achievements.

Let's A F***ING GO!

Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga, yep, 100% has achievements. Digimon Anode version on wonderswan with a translation patch, also yes. 3 game pack! The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius Hyphen Attack of the Twonkies, no achievements. The Polar Express? Yes surprisingly. As you can see, it’s a bit of a coin flip. More recent ones are also less likely to have achievements because people are less likely to be emulating them. For example Halo 2 has no achievements. Sometimes your front end might not be able to find achievements for a game like Pokemon Conquest is showing as no achievements because it thinks I’m playing a romhack of it and that’s happening regardless of the version I play. If anyone knows how to fix this on Daijisho, I’ve hit a brick wall. For the most part though you won’t have this issue.

The popular ones have achievements, and translations from franchises too. It’s mostly games you’d actually play. But don’t despair Jimmy Neutron fan singular, if you want achievements for a game you can add them yourself or you can request it be added. If someone feels like it they might add achievements for you. Remember that this is a volunteer system so if your game reeks understand that people might not want to do it. I think you need to be a frequent user to request though as I don’t have any requests I can make. This is probably to prevent spam or trolling.

Additional Features

If getting all the achievements on Hardcore Mode isn't hard enough you can always try to go for perfect boss fights.

Retro Achievements doesn’t just track achievements as I said. There are tons of additional features if you use the website. One such additional feature is Hardcore mode, and this can be used without using the site. It’ll be a toggle in your front end’s RA section. Anyway, you know how some weirdos complain that using save states isn’t a legitimate way to play retro games. Well if you turn on hardcore mode you won’t be able to load save states and if you do you’ll disable hardcore mode. Hardcore mode gives you extra achievement points for playing games the LeGiTiMaTe way. It incentivizes and rewards you for playing the games as they were InTeNdEd. You’ll be able to finally look your Shigeru Miyamoto body pillow in the eyes without feeling shame. Go ahead and do it, he missed you.

Hardcore achievements are also tracked on the site. So you can see how many have earned an achievement and how many were earned hardcore. As you might guess, hardcore play isn’t as popular and some achievements might be hard to earn without a save state. That means as you get further down the list you’ll see less playing on hardcore. For example, speedrun style achievements have significantly less hardcore players because it’s easier to set a state before the timer starts. The rest of these features are going to be site based, don’t worry the site is very light and loads quick so you can easily check it on mobile.

Achievement of the Week is a weekly achievement contest where an achievement that takes only a couple hours to unlock is picked. Then players compete to earn it by the end of the week. Once you earn it you’re added to the leaderboard. This expands into the achievement of the month, and has a monthly, weekly, and yearly leaderboard. This feature has a lot of rules like lifelines and stuff, I’d suggest checking it out for yourself if interested.

If you want a place to keep track of a retro backlog then find a game then click “Want To Play”. If you see this and you’re someone high up in RA, please consider changing this to “Backlog” I think it’s a more commonly used term and it’s less wordy. Maybe “Wishlist” or “Play Later”. It’s weird that on the suggestions list it’s called “Backlog” but isn’t on the front side. Want to Play feels verbose. Anyway, click the want to play button or if you’re searching in a list you can click the plus then you can hover on your profile picture at the top right and click “Want To Play”. This will take you to a list of games on your backlog. You can sort by system and search. I don’t use this because I just play whatever I’m in the mood for. But if I stream Achievement Hunting this would be a useful feature.

If you don’t know what to play you can hover on your PFP and click “Game Suggestions” and the site will recommend a list of games for you. Some randomly selected, and some based on your interests.

If you want to challenge yourself with something new you can check out the plethora of custom leaderboards. You can comment on game pages, these are useful for seeing tips on how to beat certain achievements. You can view popular games beign played, what new achievement sets are being worked on, what games and who recently beat them, and that’s just what I’ve seen. There is tons of features and information on the games and player habits. If you’re not using retro achievements already you should definitely be using it.

How To Use Retro Achievements

You stuck around to the end, I must have sold you on it or you skipped to the end. Either way, set up is incredibly easy. I’ll be showing you how to set up retro achievements on your emulator but quick note. I will only show you how to do it on Retro Bat for windows and Daijisho for Android. If you’re using a Retroid Pocket device I recommend using Daijisho over the RP Launcher. I also don’t recommend logging into individual emulators unless you only play games on one system. Instead you should use a frontend, you only need to log in once and it’ll handle logging in for every system launched from it. Also launchers like Retrobat and Daijisho are very customizable and pretty. It’s way better than looking at an emulator’s launch list. Again, I’ve linked in the description a Retro Bat guide from Retro Game Corps. It can be a little annoying to set up but it’s worth the pay off. If you don’t feel like using one of these then you’ll need to find another guide. Lastly, if you end up liking retro achievements you should join their Patreon for only a dollar. This is an awesome service and it makes great games even greater.

Step one, make a retro achievements account. Go to retroachievements.org then click sign up at the top right. I’ve already done this, but you’ve signed up for a site before, you know what to do.

Next is if you’re using retro bat to open up the menu, click game settings, then click retro achievements, click the enable toggle then put in your info. You can go through the toggles below for stuff like leaderboard mode or hardcore mode. If you’re cool with playing without save states and want more achievement points then enable hardcore. That’s it, now you launch games and you’ll earn achievements as you play.

If you’re on Daijisho you go to settings, scroll down, then click “Retro Achievements”. Tap account credentials and put in your username then web api key. You can do this by clicking the web api key button and it’ll open up your browser. Login, then go to your settings. Scroll down, click the copy button. Then go back to Daijisho and paste it into the web api key box. Then click save. Click the toggle to enable RA then you’re done. Sort of, you may need to go into Retro Arch to enable hardcore mode. Launch a game, click your retro arch quick menu button. Go to achievements, then click hardcore mode and turn it on. Easy peasy, you’re all done. Go play something.

[inchidentally]

I think the dichotomy people see is that Lando was in a cave in Vietnam with no internet access when the whole Hamilton Twitter conversation was going on. Max Fewtrell said that he was without internet access. The tour site says that while you are in the caves and surrounding area you will not have cell coverage or internet. That they only have satellite phones for emergencies. So if he was in the caves Tuesday through Friday (Martin said it was four days), and only got back to civilization on Saturday there was no way for it to be him interacting on Twitter. So during that time someone else was posting a silly reaction gif to the biggest news of the off-season. Not saying you aren’t correct and he’s taken back control now that he’s back, but just lends to some doubt.

Max had no intention for his offhand comment to be taken as some kind of military time and geographic coordinates of Lando's exact whereabouts at that second lasfjlsahf. and the "four days" Martin referred to is the total time in Vietnam, not inside the cave as you can see from him like. literally posting stuff from not in the cave. in no way is Lando or Martin going to let y'all fans know precisely where they are at any given time, nor is Max. there's good reason for that!

I’ll go ahead and say that another anon already alerted me that this is all from a conspiracy theory to disprove any positive interaction every happening between Lando and Oscar and about proving car|ando being "real" in whatever way that means. I've already made it clear many times I don't do the whole 'rpf is real' thing and I absolutely have NO time for the way women and girlfriends are talked about in those spaces.

is it far more more likely that Lando and and his teammate were indeed tweeting each other in a lighthearted inconsequential way? yes. would it be extremely unprofessional for a PR person to fail to tweet anything for a month from Lando's acc if indeed they are running it for him? yes. and would it be extremely weird for a paid employee to suddenly take it upon themselves to reply to an untagged Oscar tweet in a very Lando way? yes. would it be unnecessary for the LN4 acc (Lando merch PR) to tweet at Oscar as well as someone else on Lando's team from his personal acc? yes. is it more likely that fans can't figure out where or when Lando was when he heard about the Ferrari news? yes.

are people making WAY too much out of this bc of some weird parasocial hope that Lando must react in a certain way to the Ferrari/Carlos news and if he doesn't then an entire conspiracy has to be put together to explain why? apparently!!

I already regret getting pulled into this babe so listen, maybe Lando pops up and says yeah I didn’t tweet that and I never talk to Oscar or he winks solely at car|ando fans on his next stream and states clearly that he was absolutely NOT online when those tweets were made. if that will make y'all happy then godspeed! but block my blog while you're at it ok ??

bc spending his much time and energy over ONE small silly twitter interaction has already exhausted me so idk how y'all do it every day !!

[seventeenlovesthree]

You know, one thing about getting older, at least for me, is the realization that keeping up that whimsical spirit is hard. Very hard.

I have spent the past four years trying to maintain routines in regards to self-care and, while it worked out well for a period of time, the "noise" out there is very persistent to break your habits. By "noise", I don't just mean the world out there, the constant stream of social media providing you with news and tragedies, a ruthless algorithm that is very hard to avoid if you're seeking that little serotonin streak out there. Yes, I agree that our attention spans have been pretty much messed up and that it's VERY difficult to get back to some... Quiet.

That's why the noise basically refers to everything - your social life, family, friends, partners, acquaintances, colleagues, all the people out there, but also the things you surround yourself with. Habits, food choices and sleeping rhythms, once again, the media you consume while trying not get consumed by it...

I keep going on about how I had re-started drawing back in 2021 after a rough 10-year-break in which I simply didn't feel like drawing at all. I was occupied with other things during time - and if you're familiar with my tumblr, you know that that's been heavily related to football. I loved my clubs, I loved by NT and for the longest time, I could get by despite the set-backs and bad developments surrounding it. Right now I am staring at my PC and am slowly but steadily realizing that basically all the players that led me towards football have retired. Either just from the NT or completely. There are players, relatable figures, people I (used to) look up to, that inspired me, that brought be through the day, week, month, year. It was a fun time. But then the "noise" took over. The people I rambled with ended up just as frustrated and left. Only a few of them are left, but the majority - me included - has moved on to other things. Why? Because it had become too draining, too negative. The bubble had popped, several figures in the business had turned out to be unbelievably "bad people" (I'll keep this PG), things were so commercialized, unfamiliar and just... Opportunistic. The "whimsical spirit" was so hard to maintain and even if this Summer provided a little spark, it still feels alienating. There is still a glimpse of hope, but, again, you REALLY have to hold onto that.

The same goes for my other "fandoms" to be honest. Don't get me wrong, I still have fun sitting in my little corner and draw, write and create little things - even if it's mostly for myself, sometimes I do wonder why interactions have become so scarce. The atmosphere on social media is incredibly... Empty sometimes. I'm not just saying that because a lot of people have not grasped the reblogging system on this site. You may have heard the concept of people being overexposed by the neverending stream of art, "content" being thrown at them from all sides... It's become more of a product to consume than a thing to look at and enjoy and savour. And I feel that myself. I used to save fanart to my phone and computer and find myself looking at it countless times. I still do that with several art pieces, but... I assume it's because the brain has become somewhat tired that we cannot appreciate it like we used to.

Everything is just... Happening too fast and I feel like I need to have a detox every now and then. My brain still craves the serotonin of seeing new, beautiful art. But to get there, I have to get through a sea of things that get me anxious. Even with filters, even with blocking things I don't wanna see... It's not the same.

The same also applies to media in general - I'm currently in a fandom of a series that's kinda "walking on air". There is the possibility of a new animation being planned out there somewhere, somewhen, maybe... But a part of me isn't even sure if I want something "new". Consider myself "old" when I say this, but a lot of things that come out these days, sequels, reboots, remakes of things I used to enjoy as a kid... Simply don't hit the same way anymore. There's a reason why I find myself rewatching the old stuff over and over again and often have quite a mixed relationship with more recent things. EVA is one of the few franchises that, in my opinion, managed to get to a satisfying ending after ALL these years, but I am TERRIFIED for the new Madoka movie. I haven't even dared to look at Sailor Moon Cosmos, simply because I know my brain is tainted by how much enjoyed the 90s anime and how much of a clusterf*ck Crystal/Eternal/Cosmos has been for the past ten years... On the same note, do we really need a One Piece remake? And Digimon? I would loathe the idea of an Adventure remake... Because it would not only contradict the messages of the previous entries of the series; move on but keep the things you love close to you... It would simply not... Satisfy me. A part of me wants to see how the OG timeline goes on, but what if there'll be things to contradict it all even more? Do I want things to go on for the sake of keeping the nostalgia alive, even though the fear of mischaracterizations is very real? Do I really want the milking of the cash-cow to continue? To hunt for breadcrumbs? The commercialisation and... Opportunism? And why does it feel like I've heard that before...?

I don't want to end this post on a negative note. I'm gonna turn 34 in a few weeks, I've been into TV shows and had my hyperfocus topics basically since I was like 7 or so. I might always find things that keep the whimsical spirit alive to some degree. But I need to remind myself to not let the "noise" get too loud every once in a while.

[puppyluver256]

This is honestly a vent piece that has been literal years in the making. I have no freaking idea why, but for Years I've been constantly bombarded with reminders that a certain movie featuring a certain "comedy" ""actor"" exists and I can't fathom as to why. If it was just one instance of DeviantArt's recommendation algorithm mistaking me looking for Majora's Mask fanart as something related to it, I could understand. I'd be annoyed, but I could understand. But then it kept popping up in random Youtube videos that had literally nothing to do with that movie. It showed up in random Tumblr posts and tweets when I was still on that dumpster fire. The DA recs kept coming. My stuff was constantly getting faved by people who seemed to have taken this movie and made it into their entire personality. My mom's TV kept promoting a certain streaming app by proudly proclaiming it has (or perhaps had, if they've grown some sense and removed it already) this movie as part of its catalogue. If I had a nickel for every time I've seen poor Spamton get stuff from this movie dumped onto him, I'd have two nickels, and that's still too much because his character deserves better! It even invaded my nonogram site for crying out loud, I am not safe from this thing anywhere ;A;

So yeah, gonna put an end to all this nonsense by getting to the root of the problem! Putting this stupid mask into a wood chipper and now no one will have to be tormented by its existence ever again, least of all me! We will never again have to see some poor sap have their face turn green and all sense of decency slide right out their butt, everyone is safe from this menace forever and ever! Everyone rejoice! You're all free :D

(and before anyone who actually likes this movie comes over here to try and use in-universe technicalities to rain on my parade, I Do Not Care, this is My art and I say this mask got irreversibly shredded and whatever sawdust was left got burned afterward so it could be destroyed forever with no chance of repair, a fate it truly deserves c: )

💖🐶 Check out my pinned post for ways to support my artwork, among other things! 🐶💖

~Feedback helps to motivate my work, so let me know what you think! The best way to do that is via reblogs (both through tags and comments added onto the posts), but replies are great too! If you don’t have anything specific to say but still enjoy the art, a like is very much appreciated!~

My persona (any form) and artwork © PuppyLuver Studios I am not bothering to look up who owns the rights to The Mask on my own because then I'll have to See It (as in promo images, screenshots, fanart, and...~fanart~), if anyone wants to give me a company or creator name to put here feel free and I'll edit it in. Or not. I can't imagine anyone would want to willingly take credit for That.

[soul-dwelling]

The same week they cave to a fucking orange fascist over This Week on ABC, Disney also tells LGBTQ+ kids to go back into the closet:

"Hey, Dwells, it's been almost two months, can you lighten up a bit? I thought this was a fan site--"

Oh, you want something connected to Soul Eater?

Fine.

Here's something I wrote back in April 2022, worrying about how Ohkubo's bullshit was going to lead to this kind of awfulness that Disney is now doing:

No wonder we lost Roe. No wonder we had dumb-fuck boys and men after the 2024 election saying, "Your body, my choice." No wonder sexism and racism helped once again elevate the dumbest fucking men out there--because heaven fucking forbid women, especially non-white women, especially non-white women who are infinitely more qualified than this fucking orange toad of a man, ever get fucking elected President in this goddamned country.

Real classy, too, that Disney is somehow fine putting Fire Force on their shitty streaming service (granted, if you also have Hulu) but "oh no, an out trans kid" in a family/children's animated series is going too far.

And it's not even the first time this year this has happened--see also Moon Girl, another bit of self-censorship post-2024 election, to keep beating up on LGBTQ+ people and get a pat on the head from fucking Nazis:

Pop culture and art shouldn't have to be tools for something else: ideally, art is the end in and of itself, it shouldn't have to have a cause to change the world, it just has to exist, the platonic ideal of "look at them, doing nothing, just lazing around--so beautiful, so perfect." That would be great, art for art's sake. But you fucking idiots who sat out on this election don't let us have that idealized world. Of course everything can have political potential, "everything is political," etc. But you fucking weirdos keep making everything political, including people just living their lives because you can't mind your own damn business.

And yeah, corporations are not your friends--no shit. It is dispiriting to see how quickly corporations cave to fascism, but not surprising: fascism is literally the combination of government and corporations. I don't know what else to say about that aside from what I said in my blog post linked above: we need to divorce art from toxic creators, we need to divorce art from corporations, we need more fan works--these are your characters now, have fun, make something that treats those characters well.

It sure is nice when art inspires change for the better in human advancement and progressive policies. I'm not trans, I'm cis, and one of the biggest things I have whined about with zero standing to whine about because, again, cis, is that I want more trans characters front and center in the stories I read and watch, not just allegory. I'm sick of allegory: I want those characters. Characters, people who are right there, not just symbolism but the characters and their lives in that story. It's not always going to be written perfectly, sometimes that really good story is literally just the trans character living their life and doing the things every single person does (wake up, eat, drink, do some activities, engage with other people, go back to sleep). But it's not enough to have only a trans allegory. And, sure, it's not enough to just stop at having trans storylines, and it's not even enough to just have trans characters because there are still the pitfalls that come with any writing of a character where, sure, you may screw up unintentionally or inadvertently tokenize the character. But it's always a start, a start is always good, a start is moving in the right direction. It can always be better, we should be striving to do better, not handcuffing ourselves and self-censoring. I know it was already obvious, but getting our stories out of a corporate machine isn't ideal, and I don't have a very good answer beyond, "Go read someone's independent work, and provide whatever financial support you can to them."

Meanwhile, this anti-trans shit, thanks to the misogynists, racists, and other bigots in 2024 fucking over my country with rightwing shit, is going to keep sending people into the closet and getting a lot of people hurt.

Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ, I did not get into Soul Eater with Crona, a character who eschews a gender binary, right there to then be told by the dumbest people online, in politics, and in corporate speak, "Hey, this is going way too out there with gender, let's rein this in--or else."

I didn't start this fan site more than a decade ago to now suddenly flip my values and recant what I stood for. I'm not going to change from a liberal, left-leaning, progressive, or whatever you want to call it person and now say, "Actually, Crona wasn't that significant a character--forget everything I wrote about on my fan site over the last decade." I'm serious: I think now, in 2024, Crona would be a step too far for these morons--these knuckle-dragging dumb motherfuckers would say Crona is going too far.

(No wonder Disney also screwed over The Owl House: it wasn't just the LGBTQ+ characters, it was the literal Soul Eater poster on Luz's bedroom wall.)

These dumb motherfuckers are already banning Soul Eater in public schools and public libraries. (So, you dumb-as-fuck rightwing manga fans, great job shooting yourself in the foot: your favorite stories are getting banned, too--you voted for this dumbness, you stupid fucks.)

So, how long will it be that banning Soul Eater isn't because of violence or nudity but because of the gender identity?

And to wrap up my rambling with one last diatribe...Those people who didn't vote for Harris and Democrats? THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.

[c00kiejar]

This song...

I've never really made a proper post before, just shitposts and the occasional art thing. I want to make one to properly express how I feel right now and why this song represents it perfectly. I will warn you first, however, that this mentions a certain YouTuber who was recently completely destroyed on Twitter and my personal experience as a viewer, and may delve into some not-too-happy thoughts

Still here? Let's dive in

It all starts way back when I was still a kid. I was navigating the wonderful site known as YouTube, trying to find videos on videogames and, specifically, I think it was Super Paper Mario. I had no idea how to beat Chapter 2-3 (the Ruby debt one), and I needed help. That's when I stumbled across a YouTuber called Chuggaaconroy (a.k.a. Emile). The way he provided all the information I needed in one video was exactly what I needed. I couldn't subscribe to his channel because I didn't have a Google account, so I just periodically checked his channel, eventually learning he uploaded every day at 5 PM, perfect for younger me. I'd watch his videos when they came out, loving every single one. I eventually discovered his collab channel, The Runaway Guys, and loved that channel even more. He, Proton Jon (Jon) and NintendoCapriSun (Tim) entertained me for YEARS with their content. I even branched out into Jon's streaming community, becoming a semi-regular artist on the booru for a time (you can still find my stuff there under the name TehSm1tty. Not my best work, but I still like some of it). Years come and go, and I have my fair share of mental health troubles, but I'd always find Emile, Jon, and Tim there to brighten my days.

Fast forward to sometime last week. I've been pretty inactive on Twitter aside from my alts, but I decided to see what was popping on main. I log in and get recommended a post with the hashtag "WeStandWithChugga". I had no idea what was going on, so I looked into it. I won't go into detail here, but the jist of it is that Emile was a total creep to many women and even drove wedges between himself and good friends because of this weird behavior. There's a lot more to this than just that, but the point is that it shattered my view of him. I knew he was pushy and that always kinda annoyed me, but the extent of it broke me. For a few days now, I've been having a rough go of it. I mean, my childhood YouTuber just got outed as a complete creep and has some serious allegations of being at least a lolicon, at worst a pedo. I've been down and out for days, and it just wouldn't stop. That is, until I found out that Tim has a Reddit account. I never knew this (or, well, maybe I did and just forgot. Idfk), and was amazed to learn that Tim's been keeping Reddit updated on what he's able/willing to share. Turns out Emile's getting the help he needs at a legit mental hospital and that he's ok. That's what made everything stop. Hearing he's ok. After all the shit Emile has done, he's still a human being and doesn't deserve to have the whole internet turn on him in a fraction of a second. Hearing a fellow human is ok made me feel better. I'm not letting him off the hook, and I do not believe he should ever be forgiven for what he's done, but if he is willing to better himself and become a better person, I am more than willing to believe in that Emile.

Now to come to roughly 40 minutes ago. I decide to boot up Satisfactory and play a bit, but I have no idea what to listen to while I do. I put on a song but quickly get bored of it, and then I see "OMORI | Do You Remember? | Extended" in my recommendations. I put it on and instantly, as if I were splashed in the face by water, I wake up and feel better. I was still stressed about everything going on (I'm set to go to college in September, AND my folks are headed to Mexico in about a week, so I'm stressed from those too), but with the first note on the piano, everything faded. All my swirling negative emotions were replaced with a somber peace. I'm still hurt by the last week's revelations, and I'm never going to truly recover (who could?), but I'm moving on. I think my comment on the video describes how I feel best; "The sad yet peaceful feeling this song evokes in me... It's pretty much how I feel today. I feel at peace... or, well, mostly. There's still pain, and there always will be, but I can move on and I'll live. In the future, I'll look back on this last week and feel sad, but that'll be in the future when this is all over with for good, so I can also look back at before it and be happy that those good times happened. Nothing will ever be the same, but such is the way of the world. Saying goodbye is saying hello to the future, and we all need to do that eventually. Who knows what the future may hold? I, for one, can't wait to see. Hello future, and goodbye sadness".

Chuggaaconroy was an inspiration and a light in the sea of darkness for so, so many, and these revelations have snuffed the light he provided out. What I hope is that Emile takes a long, long break from the internet to become the person we all believed him to be, to truly become that bright light in the dark, rather than just another dark figure holding a flashlight. I don't hope for that as a supporter of him as I don't support who he is right now (as if I haven't said it enough), I hope for that as a fellow human who only wishes to see everyone become the best version of themself.

I think this post was exactly what I needed. I've finally gotten everything out in a cohesive (maybe?) and healthy manner, and I'm ready to become my best self. I will be beginning work on YouTube videos tomorrow, and will hopefully be posting Thursdays at 5 PM (in honor of DatPags whom has not uploaded in a long time).

To anyone who finished reading this post, thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Please, go become your best self, but do not do so by putting others down. Better yourself and acknowledge your flaws, overcome them, and do not repeat Emile's mistakes. Learn from those around you.

Yours truly,

Cookie_Jar of Tumblr dot com

[autistic-trannie]

Never Knowing Lynch and my Discovery Inside Who's Lila part 1

During the passing of David Lynch there seemed to be a collective sadness expressed by the world, that's not a far fetched thing to say as nearly everyone out there has been effected by Lynch in one way or another. I was not in the group directly effected, it made me sad don't get me wrong but I did not have the chance to know Lynch, I had only seen the original Dune and clips of Eraserhead. This put me in a predicament as I was sad and yet felt out of place, I did not have the same relationship as everyone else, I did not watch Twin Peaks, I had not seen Mullholland Drive, and yet I was sad because David Lynch was apart of so much more than the films he made.

Metal Gear Solid and Alan Wake are some of my favorite games and general inspirations and even aspirations as a creative, as I write more I think about Hideo Kojima and Sam Lake as auteurs, some of the greatest to ever do it.

And then I played Who's Lila.

Who's Lila is a game, admittedly, I have not yet finished, because I started it today, because I pirated it forever ago and left it sitting in my folder labeled "Yarg" where my pirated games go. Because when I look for games I don't look at steam, sometimes I do but that's when I have money. When I don't have money I open my preferred piracy site, I get on then I get on getting on, (read: I see if they updated their shit and if they did I scroll through every non porn game) and sometimes when I get on I get forgetful. Getting forgetful is something I do often and as often tends to be I ended up looking and found that I had a game unzipped called "Who's Lila". I wondered the same thing as I kept looking and instead of looking for new games, looking at my Itch folder, I decided to just open it and see what happens. As someone unfamiliar with Lynch's work I found that Who's Lila the more I played felt so deeply Lynchian. Alan Wake, is very much inspired by David Lynch specifically Twin Peaks, I loved Alan Wake yet I never truly got into Lynch, I didn't hate Lynch, never found it boring, but I just never had the time or access (living without internet for a while really makes you appreciate streaming) to any of his works when I played Alan Wake.

After maybe an hour, hour thirty with Who's Lila I am currently watching Twin Peaks as I write this, Who's Lila had me play it, go through a myriad of endings, and realize that I wanted more of this, I could get more of this, and more of this existed. Spoilers(light) ahead for Who's Lila, as I have not beaten the game but have already begun to unravel some of it's many mysteries. Who's Lila starts out innocuously enough, you learn that your main character struggles making facial expressions in line with his emotions. This leads to you walking to the bathroom and finding what I thought the "selling point" of the game was, funny faces. See some faces made register as different emotions, your job is to interpret what people want to see and making it happen, similar to the Mario 64 face manipulation, or the sculpting face mechanics you may recognize from The Sims 4 or Fallout 4. This makes some faces unintentionally humorous as you have to portray sadness and look like your gums are detached from the skin in your mouth. Before this all started I noticed on the main menu, SUMMON TO DESKTOP pops out causing me to click almost instantly, unknown to me this was most likely probably not the intention of the game yet it managed to work out so beautifully.

For the first 10 or so minutes it nags at me, "what does summon to desktop mean?" I minimize the game and check, the program DAEMON doesn't partially stick out alongside the other icons on my desktop but it made itself known after I scan back. Then I open The Daemon, it reveals what looks like a stone idol of a dragon, it rests now as I close it and return to the game. Back to the main game I end up listening to some ominous and very foreboding calls before venturing to the main room, I look around at each part of the kitchen and then I take the trash out before returning. In the top left of my screen The DAEMON icon appears and begins to flash, this signals to me that I must open the program which I do and after that I am privy to a far less cryptic message. A key appeared where there was not one before, I now understand the game we are going to be playing, one that operates outside of itself and outside of it's boundaries. I love when games do that so I said okay lets do it lets go to bat, I found myself in search of a locker, Tanya's Locker that required Tanya's Locker Key which a daemon put on my table, next to a diary I had no code to open and a hacksaw used as a "farm tool". Upon entering school I found Tanya's Locker, I found Tanya's stuff like her phone, to get to her phone I had to go to her Twitter, Tanya Kennedy had a twitter account, more importantly Tanya had a pinned message.

Tanya Kennedy had died, this felt like a horrible thing to see "oh god" I thought. "I must've spoiled the mystery," of course I could assume based on the missing posters plastered on my apartment corridors, but I still felt bad, maybe this game was supposed to be played like an ARG, live, and I had killed my chances of solving the mystery. Luckily any good mystery shouldn't give itself away with the clacking of a few keys, I hurriedly scrolled down and found the code to unlock the phone. I read a few messages, absorbing what I could understand but mystified by most of it, there was a person who texted her and Kennedy told her a dream, there was a conversation between her and Martha, Ellie, Michael, and William. The dream messages stop before your character starts to delete the thread of messages based on the conversations you're able to piece together what happened. She talked to a guy named Michael, wasn't feeling him, ghosted him a week ago, at the same time she talked to someone named William around the same time. Michael's messages inquire about where Tanya went and Williams plead for her to not go, that he had changed his mind which Tanya saw as her being pushed away. In my mind there was no doubt who killed her, it was probably the suspicious message saying stay away around a week ago before seeing 0 other messages.

Down the lockers, right by them in-fact I was greeted by Regina Holmes, surely Will is a coincidence? Then she reveals we saw Tanya last, then she reveals that someone else saw me seeing Tanya last and was talking to the principal about it. This made me go "wow, because I had 0 expectations I expected the murder to be a surprise, a somber shock that I spoiled but it only became fuel for the fire. This general feeling and tone continued throughout the game only pushing me forward to try and discover what happened. I don't know what the intentional playthrough is, I don't know how anyone is supposed to play, if there even is an intentional path to take, what I do know however is that my playthrough felt right, every time I woke up I took out the trash, every time I woke up I uncovered more and more mystery, the more I uncovered the more human it got, the more I learned the more I saw through each past lie and was able to put a case together as to what happened right before 10 more questions spawned about what really happened.