#on of these days im going to have to give xv a try | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vanserraseris · 3 years

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END OF PART XV - Ok, so that is the final part (there will be an epilogue, but this is pretty much the end). Eris is not doing too well, just a warning that there is mentions of blood. Thank you to everyone who reads.

OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY I TOOK FOREVER TO GET THIS UP. and omgggg im so sad this is ending soon

Prince of Ashes. Part XV.

Eris jolted awake, lurching to a sitting position, nearly falling out of his bed as he tried to calm his breathing. It took him a moment to recognize that he was in his old rooms at The Forest House, not his cottage.

“Not real,” Eris spoke into his empty room, his eyes clenched shut, “Not real.” Eris hadn’t seen his brothers die, and it was on nights like these when he wished he had, if only to know that the dreams weren’t real.

In his dreams, his worst nightmares, Cato and Owain would beg Eris to save them and all he could do was watch as they met their end. The Mother must truly hate him, Eris thought, to torment him like that in his sleep.

Eris fisted his hands in the sheets, hating the quiet of the room and quickly lighting a fire only to fill the horrible silence. The flames danced, tiny embers popping off the logs and falling to the dark wood outside the fireplace. His room was still too quiet.

Eris took a deep breath as he tried to settle his nerves and almost tripped as he hurtled for the bathroom. Eris fell to his knees in front of the toilet, bracing himself over the porcelain bowl as he retched, glad that he’d once again forgotten to eat dinner as he coughed over and over again. Each time Eris took a breath, he could smell the blood on his hands. Owain had laughed at him once decades ago, claiming that Eris had a better nose than his hounds.

Eris curled his hands into fists at the memory, not wanting to think about his brother. Eris, upon his fathers orders, had spent the last two days torturing a rebel group that had formed a steady following in the past ten years. The smell of their blood, clinging to the pale skin of Eris’s knuckles and getting stuck under his nails, was making him dizzy.

He tried not to think about how much it bothered him to do those sorts of things, but at night, as soon as his head hit his pillows, his mind wouldn’t stop reeling. He could practically hear his father’s voice, knowing he’d call him weak, knowing his father would call him a horrible heir. His father’s voice often battled with that of his mother’s. Eris growled, pushing himself up off the floor, the iron scent of faerie blood lingering in his nostrils as he stumbled to the sink.

He reached for the bar of soap on the counter, trying again to wash the smell of blood from his hands. The honeysuckle scented soap did nothing but mask the smell of the blood, and he knew that he could wash them a hundred times that night and it still wouldn’t make anything better. Eris had washed his hands raw before he’d fallen onto his bed, completely exhausted. He hadn’t even bothered changing into sleeping clothes, had merely kicked off his boots and thrown his jacket onto a chair.

The smell of the blood was stronger as Eris splashed cool water onto his face and he fought his urge to gag once more.

Eris walked back into his bedroom, drying his hands with a small towel, but he paused when he saw his reflection in the mirror. Eris inched closer, dropping the towel onto the dresser, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt as he placed the palms of his hands on the smooth wooden surface. There were wild flames in his eyes, flaring uncontrollably in reds, oranges, and yellows.

Eris frowned, willing the fire to disappear. His frown deepened when nothing happened. “I’m in control,” Eris muttered. He tried picturing dying embers in his mind, just as his mother had taught him, but if it were possible, the flames seemed brighter. “I’m in control,” Eris repeated, his voice a low growl, the fingers of his one hand curling into a fist. Eris hadn’t struggled with taming his magic like this in over a century.

He was still looking in the mirror, at the sharp lines of his face, at the harsh line of his mouth, as he scowled. Eris thought he had never looked more like his father.

One moment, Eris had been standing still, the next, he’d moved as quick as a snake. He threw his fist forward with all his strength, the glass of the mirror cracking under the impact, his flaming eyes still visible in every shard. Eris punched the mirror again, small fragments of glass clinking against the floor.

The smell of faerie blood hadn’t really gotten any better, Eris realized, probably because it was still under his nails, in the lines of his palm, in the wrinkles on the knuckles of each finger.

A beastly snarl ripped from his throat as he grabbed the carved wooden frame of the mirror, ripping it off the dresser only to slam it against the floor. The glass finally fell from the frame, shattering, but Eris continued to hit the frame against the hardwood floor.

Eris was tired and angry and he didn’t want to see his own reflection, would have preferred if he never had to look in a mirror again. He broke the wood of the mirror, splinters littered around his bare feet along with the small pieces of glass. Eris threw what remained in his hands at the opposite wall, surprising himself when it turned into ash before it crashed against the stone. Eris ran a trembling hand through his long hair, his chest heaving with each breath.

He took a step back, leaning against the dresser before he slid to the floor, eyes clenched shut. “I’m in control,” he whispered, hoping the lie would become a reality.

Eris had always been aware of the little control he had in his life, but only very recently had he started feeling like a puppet with strings. Everything his father asked, Eris did, a cruel smile on his face all the while. Eris couldn’t even bear to look at his mother, didn’t want to face that kind of disappointment.

Eris breathed in from his nose slowly, opening his eyes as he reached for a larger shard of the mirror right by his hand. He angled it so he could see his face, and tightened his hold along the edges when he saw there were still flames in his eyes.

Blood leaked from where Eris gripped the sharp glass, dripping along his hand, down to his wrist, and onto the floor. He had hoped that perhaps the pain would anchor him, offer him some control on his magic, but it didn’t even hurt.

“Eris?”

Eris flinched, startled, dropping the bloodied shard and knocking the back of his head against the dresser with a loud thud. His mother had spoken so softly, he shouldn’t have jumped like that. He ran his uninjured hand through his hair, “Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

She ignored his question, pushing the heavy door to his room open and slipping inside, asking another question of her own. “What are you doing?”

Eris took a breath, “I’ve made a real mess of things.” He waved his bloodied hand in front of him, and the Lady of Autumn gasped, but Eris just continued speaking. “Just a horrible, horrible mess of things.”

“What happened?” Eris could hear the panic in his mother’s tone, but he just shrugged, shaking his head.

She walked towards him on silent bare feet, “Watch the glass,” Eris barked. He must have looked quite frightening with the flames in his eyes shining bright in the dark of the room.

She didn’t even pause, expertly stepping around the pieces of the mirror, before she sat down right beside him. Close, but not touching. Her russett eyes hadn’t stopped looking at his hand. “Oh, Eris,” she breathed, a slight tremor in her voice, “There’s glass in your knuckles.” Eris hadn’t noticed. When he lifted his other hand to brush the pieces away, his mother placed a hand on his arm. “Not like that,” she said a tad sharply.

Eris faced her, and while she might have been slightly horrified to see what he’d done to his hand, she reminded Eris of the female he remembered from his childhood. She lifted her chin, her mouth set in a firm line and her back straight. Even in her nightgown, her hair in a messy braid over her shoulder, she was a force to be reckoned with. “You’ll make it worse like that.” She reached past his head to grab the towel he’d thrown onto the dresser, “Give me your hand.”

Eris scowled, he was too old to be getting told what to do by his mother. She raised a brow at him and Eris scrunched his nose, doing as she said. With gentle fingers, she slowly pried all the pieces of glass from his hand, wincing when blood dripped from his knuckles. “Tell me what happened,” it wasn’t a request.

“I couldn’t sleep,” Eris mumbled, he definitely wasn’t going to tell her why, he didn’t want her to know what kept him up at night. “And then I couldn’t get the scent off.”

The Lady of Autumn lifted her son’s hand closer to her face, sniffing subtly, “What scent?”

Eris shook his head, refusing to answer. He didn’t know whether or not the High Lord had told his wife what his son had been spending much of his time doing as of late.

“I smell nothing but blood, Eris.” There was no judgement, no frustration, in her tone. She held his large hand in one of her much smaller ones, certain there was no more glass, as she pushed the towel against his knuckles.

“Me too,” Eris muttered, amber eyes following his mother’s every move. He couldn’t remember the last time he had spoken to his mother for this long. He guessed that it must have been at Cato and Owain’s funeral. Eris hadn’t wanted to speak with her, not after he’d broken his oath to protect Lucien, not after he’d managed to fail at the only thing his mother had ever asked of him. Eris felt a burning behind his eyes and blinked a few times, taking a small breath.

His mother flipped his hand once his knuckles had mostly healed, but the deep cut he’d gotten from gripping onto the sharp shard of the mirror was still bleeding. It might even scar, Eris thought. The Lady of Autumn sighed, “I wish I knew what was going on in that head of yours.”

Eris was glad she didn’t know what was going on in his head, thanked the cauldron that his mother was not a daemati. His head was a horrible place to be, especially lately, now that he felt overwhelmed with everything.

Lagos had tried apologizing countless times. Eris had kicked him out of his cottage, had pulled rank and ordered him not to return, but that hadn’t stopped him yet. Eris wondered how long he’d keep it up. Eris hadn’t tried talking to Micah, and he knew perfectly well that Micah wouldn’t come to him, that he’d let Eris make the first move always and that wouldn’t change. Widge always came to the cottage and sat with him as he worked; Eris couldn’t shake the feeling that he did so out of pity.

Not only that, but Cato and Owain’s deaths meant that Beron was pitting Maddox and Priam against him. Eris was almost certain they wanted to kill him just to prove to their father that they weren’t as worthless as he’d always thought they were. Rufus was still trying to convince Eris that gaining their father’s trust was an impossible goal, and Eris knew that his actions would eventually push Rufus away. And Lucien was gone, exiled to Spring, and he hated his oldest brother.

Eris clenched his jaw, staring fixedly at the flames flickering in the fireplace on the opposite side of the room.

His mother placed a hand on Eris’s chin, tilting his face so that he looked at her concerned gaze, “Tell me what troubles you.”

Eris could have died at the sob that escaped his lips. He felt a rush of shame, his cheeks heating, as his mother’s eyes filled with tears as well.

His mother hadn’t seen him cry since he was eighteen. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d broken down like this, especially in front of somebody else. Many things troubled Eris, but he’d gotten very good at hiding behind sneers and scowls. Eris didn’t like following his father’s orders, Eris didn’t like smelling the blood on his hands, Eris didn’t like looking in the mirror.

Eris brought his uninjured hand to his face, covering his eyes with it as another sob fell from his mouth. He didn’t like the way his mother looked as if she saw into his soul, if she looked too close he feared she wouldn’t find one. Eris felt his mother wrap her arms around him, her hand going to the back of his head.

“I’m so sorry, Eris,” she whispered, “I’m so terribly sorry.”

Eris didn’t know why she was apologizing. He tried to shake his head, but his mother was still holding him tight.

“I never should have made you take that oath,” she spoke with her lips pressed to his hair. “I’m so sorry, Eris.”

Maybe she was right. That fucking vow had been the start of his downward spiral. Or maybe it hadn’t been. Maybe he’d been spiralling for centuries.

Eris didn’t say anything, he just ever so slowly wrapped his arms around his mother, his chin resting on her too-slim shoulder. Eris didn’t really like being held, hadn’t liked it as a child, but this wasn’t too bad.

He made a funny sounding whimper and bit his tongue to keep himself from doing it again.

“Eris, tell me what troubles you,” she repeated, her fingers pushing his hair over his shoulder as she moved back to look into his eyes. His mother lifted a hand to his face, gently wiping at the tears on his cheeks. “Please.”

Eris shook his head, he could not tell her what he was feeling, not really. His mother had enough to worry about.

He knew her thoughts were with Lucien, and if they weren’t, she was probably thinking about Cato and Owain. She didn’t need to spend any time thinking about what was troubling him, especially since Eris knew it would break her heart to know that he was unhappy.

“I’m alright,” Eris lied.

“Eris, please,” the Lady of Autumn tried again.

Eris took a deep breath.

He needed to become High Lord, to sit on the Autumn Court throne, and he would do just about anything to steal his father’s crown. Beron had raised a monster, and it would come back to ruin him. He was the Tamer of Flames, the Heir of Autumn, the Prince of Ashes. He was not broken, and he would not break.

So Eris just flashed his mother an empty smile, the iron scent of blood still burning through his nose as he spoke.

“I’m just tired.”

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greeds · 3 years

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HIIII I'm the video game anon!!! ah it just rained here yesterday heheh <3. I can do pc and I would be willing to invest in a console but it would take me some time to buy it :( but I would love some recs for consoles because I'm totally clueless.

I would love to play any game as long as it isn't solely about fighting like fortnite? but maybe I would play it too if you say it's good. I trust you. I'm basically a blank slate rn, but I love adventure games. I never played video games.Thank you for answering!!! 🥰 - c (my name)

hi c!!!!! ok lets go

GAMES ON PC

night in the woods: masterpiece.

spiritfarer: a cozy management game about dying (and grief)

undertale: masterpiece.

rime: another beautiful game about grief

portal 1 + 2: masterpiece!!!! SOOO FUNNY

horizon zero dawn: the fighting is SO fun! i love exploring the world and uncovering the secrets of the past. when all the pieces fall into place itll knock the wind out of you

yakuza series: you play as an ex-yakuza who adopts a child and beats people up, not because he wants to but bc they wont leave him and his daughter alone

skyrim: despite the memes its a very fun game to play NDNDKKDDKD

GAMES ON THE PS4

uncharted series: i LOVE the characters and how real their relationships feel, and the places you travel to in search of treasure are breathtaking

JOURNEY: I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT TO MENTION JOURNEY. if you want beauty if you want catharsis. play journey. the art the music the narrative.......the tears i shed every time i play it my goodness

the last of us: its the zombie post-apocalypse! just dont play the sequel lol

the last guardian: puzzle game! a little boy befriends an injured creature and together they travel to where they need to go

final fantasy vii remake (or just the original): you play as a mean blond twink with a bigass sword and frequent headaches who gets dragged into a found family and fighting to save the dying planet!

final fantasy xv: the story is a goddamn mess and makes no sense but the characters. the bros.......you will feel emotions whether you want to or not

LEGEND OF ZELDA SERIES MY BELOVED (here i will give you the list in order of when they came out and what consoles they are available on. i wont include console versions before the wii, but for the most part the big titles have been ported to or remastered in HD for the more recent consoles)*

a link to the past: wii u and switch

ocarina of time:** wii u and 3ds

majoras mask: wii u and 3ds

wind waker: wii u (HD)

twilight princess: wii/wii u (HD)

skyward sword: wii/wii u, and coming to switch (HD) this month!

breath of the wild: wii u and switch!

*if you are considering buying a nintendo console (the wii u seems like the best choice atm, given how many titles are available on it), i suggest you wait just a bit longer! some people who work in the gaming industry are fairly certain that nintendo will port wind waker HD and twilight princess HD to the switch by the end of this year, meaning it may soon be possible to have all the games on the latest console!!!!!!!!!!

**in . my opinion. OOT is a bit overrated dbkdnflekdsnfkskdon but the game still presents many themes that have continually been used in later LOZ titles

you can also try to play these LOZ games on pc using an emulator, but im not the best person to be asking how to do that sndmdnkfkdkd

EDIT I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO GIVE YOU OTHER SWITCH TITLES AKDKDKDKDN:

ace attorney trilogy: i never expected a game about lawyers to be so much fun its so good!!!

luigis mansion: u play as luigi a man who is terrified of ghosts who explores haunted mansions mamma mia!!!!

pikmin 3 deluxe: my little men. my soldiers who go off to war every day. they have flowers on their head and they like to be thrown what more can i say

super mario odyssey: WAHOO!

mario games!!!! any mario game!!!!!! you can play them with siblings or friends!!!!!

#long post

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vergilsangel · 4 years

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Not My Valentine: Part 2

A/N: Okay, I couldn’t just leave it like that. I had to write a sequel. It was nice to write again :D

Rating: T Warnings: Angst, language

Tagging: @drusoona @final-fantasy-xv-nut @harlot-of-oblivion

If you wish to be tagged just send me an ask with your username or send me an IM! ^.^

Here is Part 1!!!

Months later, you had managed to force your feelings down and begin to work with Vergil once more. He and Lady were still being discreet about their relationship, not knowing that you knew. When you had returned to Devil May Cry a week after Valentine’s day, Dante took you aside and demanded to know what happened. Not wanting to out Vergil and Lady, you just said that you found out where you stood with him and decided against even telling him your feelings.

After that, things between you and Vergil were rocky. You were hurt and angry, but you were doing all you could to suppress those emotions and pretend you didn’t have feelings for him. You thought that the week apart would’ve helped, but the moment you saw him, all the emotions flooded back and it took all you had not to burst into tears.

Vergil noticed. He would be an idiot to have not noticed. Usually you and he got along quite well and now you couldn’t even face him. You made excuses to avoid him and if there was a devil hunting job, you paired yourself up with Dante, Nero, or Trish. It bothered him, but he remained impassive around you and the others.

Finally, it was the end of summer. The days were getting shorter and the winds were getting colder. Demonic activity started to spike and pretty soon, Dante had no choice but to split everyone up into teams. This whole time, you and Vergil had been at odds and he was bound and determined to fix things.

“Hey, Verge! (Y/N)! I got a demon hunting gig for the two of you!” Dante called as he hung up the phone. You looked up at him, silently telling him this was a bad idea.

“What is the job?” Vergil asked.

“Bunch of furies and a lusachia appeared in the town north of here.” Vergil nodded and took the address from Dante.

“Where are Nero, Lady, and Trish?” You asked, hoping to not give away how much you hated this idea.

“All on jobs and I’ve got one I need to take care of too. Besides, with these higher level demons, I don’t want either of you going alone.” Dante answered and smirked. He knew he was meddling, but the sooner this was out in the open, the sooner you both could work through it and move on. Accepting defeat, you sighed and nodded.

“Make haste, (Y/N).” Vergil said, opening a portal. You grabbed your weapons and followed him. Taking down the demons proved to be much more of a hassle than either of you thought. However, despite your feelings towards him, it was easy to fight alongside him. It was smooth and calculated. You both worked well together and you couldn’t deny that. Once both of you were sure the area was clear, you went back to the shop that was now empty.

‘Okay, that wasn’t so bad.’ You thought, but now there was an uncomfortable silence between the two of you. Deciding to ignore it, you went and grabbed some of Dante’s whiskey, just wanting to take the edge off. Vergil watched you down three glasses of whiskey before he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Why are you so angry with me?” He asked, startling you. The alcohol was already taking effect.

“I’m not angry.” You lied, drinking down more of the whiskey.

“You’ve been avoiding me and now you won’t even look at me. We barely speak unless it is work related. I want this cleared up now.”

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” Vergil stepped towards you, taking the whiskey out of your hands and slamming it down on Dante’s desk. You whirled to face him, anger swelling inside you.

“Give it back.”

“Not until we work this out.”

“I said it was nothing! Just drop it!” You reached for the whiskey, but he held it out of your reach. His free hand gripped your arm and it was like an electric jolt ran through you from his touch.

“Tell me!”

“I’m in love with you, you dumbass!” You shouted at him. Vergil was shocked at your answer, but you weren’t done.

“Yes, I’m in love with you! But I know that you are with Lady and so now I just have to suck it up and deal with it myself. I thought that by pushing you away it would get easier, but it didn’t because I fucking missed you. I missed talking to you. Then I felt even worse because I knew…I knew you would think I’m pathetic and I couldn’t stand that either.” Vergil listened to you. He watched as tears filled your eyes and you turned your face away from his to hide them. Your shoulders shook with the effort to hold back the tears. There it was. All out in the open. Suddenly, you were swept off your feet making your stomach lurch.

“Vergil?” You asked, looking up at the demon that had you in his arms.

“We will continue this conversation after you have slept off your drunkenness.” Vergil replied and took you to his bedroom.

“Do you hate me?” You asked quietly as he lay you down in his bed.

“Go to sleep.”

“You hate me now don’t you?”

“We will talk in the morning.” Vergil said covering you up. He saw the hurt in your eyes and he sighed.

“No, I don’t hate you. Go to sleep.” He said and you nodded. Slowly, you fell asleep as he left the room to sleep on the couch. The next morning, your head was throbbing, but you remembered everything that had happened the night before. As you sat up, you noticed a glass of water left by the bed on the nightstand and drank it. Not wanting to face him, you left the now empty glass on the nightstand and quietly made your way downstairs. Your eyes scanned the main office area, but there was no sign of the blue clad devil. Quickly and quietly, you made a break for the front door.

“And just where do you think you are going?” Came Vergil’s voice from behind you.

“Um…home?” You tried, looking back at him. After last night, you really didn’t want to face him. But considering you were trying to run from a half demon who could open portals, you didn’t have many options of places to hide.

“No. We are finishing this conversation and clearing the air right now.” Vergil said, pointing to the couch. Sighing, you went and sat on the couch, looking anywhere but at him. Both of you were silent, unsure of how to start. Finally, you couldn’t take it anymore.

“Vergil, listen. About what I said last night…” You began.

“Lady and I ended our relationship last month.” Vergil interrupted. You snapped your head up to look at him. He had his arms crossed as he leaned against Dante’s desk, his silver eyes focused on you.

“What? Why?” You asked.

“We realized we weren’t compatible relationship-wise and ended it amicably.” Vergil replied.

“Oh. I don’t know what to say.” You said, biting your lower lip.

“There’s nothing to say about it. It’s done, she and I have moved on.” Vergil’s voice was very business-like, as though he were conducting a meeting.

“How did you find out about us?” He asked, looking up at you. As you remembered Valentine’s Day, your heart ached and you looked down at your lap.

“I was going to confess my feelings for you on Valentine’s Day and I saw you and Lady together.” You answered.

“I wondered why I didn’t see you at the party Dante threw.” Both of you fell silent and you wanted to ask him how he felt about you since your feelings were all out in the open, but his continued silence was making that hope fade.

“So what do we do now?” You asked finally. Vergil was quiet a moment.

“Last night you said you missed me. You missed my companionship. The truth is, I’ve missed you as well. After you started to avoid me, I realized how much I enjoyed our talks. Enjoyed spending time with you.” Vergil looked up at you as your heart began to pound hard in your chest.

“I missed your smile and your laugh. I missed the way your eyes lit up as you discussed your favorite poems. Despite how vulgar I find the word, I fucking missed you, too.” Your eyes widened at his words. Vergil never swore unless he truly felt it was appropriate for the situation. You had been so caught up with your own feelings, you hadn’t even considered his.

“(Y/N).” Vergil said and moved so he sat on the coffee table before you.

“When you told me last night that you loved me, did you truly mean it?” He asked.

“Of course I did. Even though I was slightly drunk I meant it.” You answered. Vergil nodded and gently took your hands in his.

“I love you too. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it.” He said, gazing into your eyes. Gently, he leaned forward and touched his lips against yours. The moment your lips met, it felt as though fireworks burst in your chest. The months of heartache seemed like a distant memory now as you felt warmth flood through you. When he pulled away, you smiled as your foreheads touched.

“The reason I was being secretive with Lady was because I didn’t want Dante to know. I didn’t want to put up with his teasing. May we keep this a secret from him too?” Vergil asked. You knew how Dante’s teasing infuriated Vergil and he despised showing any weakness to his brother. Unable to help yourself, you giggled and nodded.

“That’s fine.” You said. Whatever Vergil had planned to say next was lost when the front door burst open.

“ABOUT DAMN TIME YOU TWO GOT TOGETHER!” Dante shouted making you blush as Vergil rose to his feet, Yamato in hand.

“You were listening?!” You asked.

“Of course I was! I’ve been hanging around outside my shop since you two got back! I’m lucky someone didn’t think I was a bum!” Dante protested.

“You’re an idiot.” You said flatly.

“But this is great! You two are perfect for each other! Vergil so help me if you hurt them I will kick your ass!” Dante said pointing at his brother.

“Dante?” Vergil asked.

“Yeah?”

“Start running.” Vergil flicked open the Yamato and you giggled as Dante took off with Vergil hot on his heels.

#Vergil #dmc vergil #vergil fanfiction #devil may cry #devil may cry 5 #devil may cry fanfiction #dmc fanfiction #DMC #dmc 5 #DMC5

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fragmentedink-archived · 5 years

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Hell to Pay: Chapter Twenty-Three

I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, IX, IX, XX, XXI, XXII

Cowritten by @lux-scriptum

A/N: trigger warning for smut, and for Excessive Levant Crying

In the few weeks that passed, they settled into a sort of rhythm. Having a schedule seemed to calm Cameron down, and Lev had to admit it made him feel better too. He knew what to expect, to an extent, though Nik and Eden found ways to insert variety into their lives along the way.

Lev shifted, adjusting his pants grumpily. He’d been perfectly happy to use Eden’s naptime to fall into bed with Cameron and Nik, but when Nik cheerfully shoved a plug in his ass after they’d both fucked him, Lev knew exactly which one he’d used. Nik hadn’t turned it on yet, but Lev knew it was only a matter of time before he did.

Lev paused outside Eden’s door. He could hear her babbling inside, so she was definitely awake, but Lev was surprised to see that there was only one sentry at the door. He thought about asking, but Eden’s volume was increasing every second he hesitated, clearly unhappy about being left to her own devices. When he looked inside, she was already sitting up, a dewinged bat stuffed animal in her clutches.

She screeched at him, waving the two halves of the toy at him.

“We really should stop giving you stuffed animals,” Lev muttered. He scooped her up, humming softly. He checked her diaper, and made quick work of changing her before replacing the tattered stuffed animal with a rattle. He got smacked on the head with it for his troubles. “Why are you so mean to your Da, hmm?” He asked, sliding out of the room. “What have I done to deserve this?”

That was apparently funny, because she giggled and tried to bite his shoulder.

“You’ve been around Cameron too long. No biting of the people. Especially your Da,” Lev scolded, heading for the kitchen. Most likely where the other two would be, anyway.

He didn’t quite make it. Amara appeared out of nowhere, spinning him around. He tucked Eden close and pulled away, huffing at her.

“What are you doing here? And be careful. She’s still little,” Lev scolded, checking Eden over. He got his finger bit for his troubles, before Amara caught Edens attention. Eden reached for her, and babbled angrily when Lev hushed her.

“I’m here to kidnap you,” Amara told him solemnly, before poking Eden’s nose. “Damn. He even makes cute kids. Think he’d spare me some DNA to knock Cin up with?”

“Amara,” Lev said, exasperated.

“Yes?” She asked innocently.

Lev sighed, and edged around her. He flicked a wall of shadows up in Amara’s face when she tried to follow. Her annoyed squawk was worth the payback he was sure would follow. She was still on his heels by the time he ducked in the kitchen.

“Amara’s kidnapping me for the day,” he said tiredly in lieu of hello.

“Damn right I am. You abandoned me for a pair of cocks and I’m insulted. Impressed, but insulted.”

“You should be,” Cameron said without hesitation, starting across the room. “You’re not taking him.”

Lev was quick to push Eden in his arms, both to stop Cameron from strangling his cousin, and because Amara had hooked a finger in Lev’s belt loop determinedly. “Yes, I am,” she said sweetly. “Promise to return him with minimal damage, but he needs a day away from this insanity.” She settled her chin on Lev’s shoulder.

“Yes, because your insanity is that much better,” Cameron replied dryly.

“Hey,” Lev tried. “I don’t mind, really.”

“Yeah, and you didn’t mind almost dying, either,” Cameron retorted.

“What, and you’re not kidnapping me too?” Nik demanded from the counter.

“Nah,” Amara said dismissively. “Not today, Saint Nikolas.”

That didn’t seem to amuse Nik, who muttered, “See if I ever feed you again.”

“Fuck you,” Amara said cheerfully. “You let my sister sleep under the same roof as him.”

“Would you rather she sleep in the street in the middle of winter?” Nik retorted.

“She has other family, you know,” Amara said. She pulled away from Lev, grabbing him by the scruff of the neck. “Come on, buddy, we’ve got things to do. Motorcycles to terrify you with. Takeout to make you order.”

Both Nik and Cameron looked disgusted with her food choices. Lev waved at them. “I’ll be back tonight,” he called as she yanked him out the door. “If I’m not please come get me.”

He barely heard Cameron’s response of, “Give her food poisoning,” before Amara marched him past some very grumpy looking sentries and out to her bike. The poor thing was old and more worse for the wear, but according to Amara it ran. She stuffed Lev in a leather jacket to keep him warm, and handed over a helmet. He almost told her off for not wearing one herself, but it’d never worked in the past, so he just sighed and pulled his on.

“Drive slow?” he asked.

Amara just laughed at him.

----

For the next five minutes, Nik watched Cameron feed Eden before he ended up saying, “So…. she just walked in here. How do you feel about that?”

“That she’s lucky she’s Lev’s cousin because I would have broken her legs otherwise,” Cameron replied, feeding a spoonful of meat to the happy babbling demon baby wiggling in her high chair. “Won’t be able to walk in if her legs cease to function.”

“You know she does it just to get a rise out of you,” Nik said.

“You make it sound like I care.”

“I mean,” Nik said, taking a drink of his black coffee, “you clearly do. Since Lev had to put the baby in your arms before you went through her. She must have gotten under that icy white skin of yours.”

Cameron flicked his cool pale blue eyes at him. “No. She just needs to learn where she can and cannot open that fat mouth of hers. And she cannot open it in my house where I will feed her to my guards.”

Nik made a face. “I do not imagine Lev would be too fond of cannibalism against his cousin,” Nik mused. “Me neither. I am rather fond of my fuck buddies.”

Cameron’s mouth twitch clearly was a figment of Nik’s imagination. “And I do believe that function is now obsolete.”

“Be as that may,” Nik said. “I am still attached.”

“Why.” But before Nik could answer that rude question, Cameron said, “Never mind. She’s just as bad as you are. Two peas in an annoying pod. My mistake.”

Nik clicked his tongue. “You charmer. Are you like this with all your boyfriends. Oh wait, I forgot, you refuse to acknowledge this not relationship. My mistake.”

Before Cameron could respond with one of his irritatingly famous quips, Eden smacked her hands down on the tray, screeching at both of them for daring to take her attention. Cameron flicked her nose. “Stop it, I’m feeding you, aren’t I?”

She babbled angrily at him around the spoonful of food Cameron shoved in her mouth. Cameron pointed at her, eyes narrowed into a glare. “I am literally right here. Stop screaming and use your damn indoor voice.”

“She’s a baby.”

“So are you and I managed to train you to not yell in my house.”

“You’re so cute. Using pet names,” Nik said, batting his eyes at him. “What else do you got for me? A darling? A sweetheart? A my love?”

“A broken neck?” Cameron offered.

Nik pouted and went to top off his coffee. “I thought babies made the heart grow fonder.”

“That’s absence,” Cameron corrected. “Open a book once in a while.”

“I read.”

“Pornography does not count.”

Nik tried kissing Eden’s cheek, but got smacked by her. He bit down on her shoulder lightly before resting his chin on Cameron's shoulder. “You both are so mean to me. I can’t believe it, I thought I was her favorite.”

He knew Cameron rolled his eyes. “Her favorite is literally anyone that gives her attention at any given moment,” he said. “A complete stranger could give her point five seconds of attention and she’d have a new parent.”

“Here I thought I brought a special something to our relationship.”

“You didn’t, don’t worry.”

Nik bit down on Cameron’s shoulder. Hard enough to break the skin. “Asshole.”

Eden was laughing at them both between bites of her food. Cameron’s only response was, “If you’re going to bite, make sure I can actually feel it.”

“See, if I did that then you’d be naked right now.”

“So confident,” Cameron said, getting another bite in before Eden refused any more. He went to pick her up and Nik followed them back to the nursery. “I’m sure you’d like to believe that.”

Before Nik could respond, he felt his pocket buzz. Nik cut Cameron a withering glare before pulling his phone out to see a text from Lev.

Lev: How’s Eden?

Nik wrinkled his nose and watched Eden wrestle and kick at Cam while getting cleaned up.

Nik: Trying to put her foot thru Cam’s stomach

Lev: Bitty girl not happy she has to get clean?

Eden screeched angrily while Cameron wiped down her face with a baby wipe. Cameron blissfully ignored her temperament and went about continuing to clean her up.

Nik: Something like that. At this rate she’s going to end up eating the baby wipes. I’m sure it’ll be fine

Lev: Try making faces at her. She thinks she’s being ignored

Nik relayed the message and Cameron rolled his eyes. “Or she’s just being a brat because there’s a baby wipe on her face and she’s being forced to get cleaned up.”

“Well,” Nik said, “I’m sure you are capable of telling Lev that.”

“So are you,” Cameron said, sitting Eden up. “You’re the one with the phone.”

Eden shoved her fist in her mouth while babbling and kicking her feet. Nik frowned when he looked back down at his phone. Amara apparently had stolen Lev’s phone.

Lev: Stop distracting Lev.

Nik: Im sorry but LEV distracted ME fiRST

Lev: 🖕

Nik: Very mature, Mar. Nik: Also Cam said he was going to feed you to his guards if you keep walking in the house like that

Lev: mmmm sexy Lev: Stop distracting me. Shutting off the phone now

Nik shoved his phone in his pocket and moved out of the way while Cameorn went to the dresser to get another black long sleeved onesie after stripping Eden down. “Amara’s holding Lev hostage. I think he wants help.”

“He’ll be fine, I’m sure,” Cameorn said, dismissively. “He’s the one that went with her. And as often as Amara claims, she can protect him if something happens.”

“I mean help from her.”

“Well that is a pickle,” Cameron said, scooping a newly clothed Eden up. “Oh well. Come on, you little monster. I think it’s playtime with some toys that don’t make any noise.”

Eden was looking at Nik over Cameron’s shoulder while they started for the living room, and clawing at Cameron’s skin contentedly. Nik hummed. “Her eyes are turning green.”

“I saw,” Cameron said. There was a faint tone in Cameron’s voice that Nik wasn’t quite able to place. “My mother has the same ones. So do my brothers. It would make sense she would too.”

“Would you rather she didn’t?”

“I don’t care either way.”

Nik knew better than to not press any further. “What toys we playing with,” he said, starting for the closet with all the toys. “I bet she wants to play with the piano.”

“I bet she doesn’t.”

----------

Lev locked the door behind himself and huffed. Amara was ten times worse than he remembered. Or maybe Lev was less in the mood to deal with her shenanigans. He settled on the bathroom counter and pulled out his phone. In less than a minute he called Nik, hoping that would calm him down before he did something like pick a fight with Amara he knew he couldn’t win.

It had been hours now, and he wanted to hear Nik’s voice.

“Hello, Levant. How are you?”

Oh. Oh he sounded too cheerful for Lev to trust that.

Lev swallowed his pride and said, “I made a mistake.”

“Oh?” Nik asked, amused. “And what’s that?”

“I should have just let Cameron snap her neck,” Lev moaned. “Come get me? Please?”

Nik’s voice got distant, as if he had pulled away from the phone, but Lev clearly heard him say, “Hey, Cam, Lev said you can snap Amara’s neck.”

“Nik,” Lev blurted. “I wasn’t serious.”

Again Nik’s voice was further away as he said, “Wait, no. He changed his mind,” before saying to Lev, “You can’t just tease him like that, Lev.”

“Nik, please,” Lev tried. “I wanna come home.”

“Okay, but you chose to abandon us for Amara. You could have just stayed with us and the baby but you decided to leave on your own accord.”

Lev felt his bottom lip tremble, even if it was a stupid reason to cry. “I was trying to keep the peace. Cameron looked like he was going to hurt her, and I- It was the quickest way to get her out of the house. I didn’t think she’d be this bad.” He sniffed hard. “Nik, please? I don’t wanna be here.”

Nik was quiet for a moment, before he said “Sure. I’ll be right there.”

“Thank you,” Lev said softly.

“No problem. But I suggest staying in there until I come or else Amara will never let you leave.”

Lev made a noncommittal sound, and just said, “Love you,” before he hung up.

After a few moments there was a knock on the door. Lev sighed and slid off the counter. When he opened the door, Amara leaned against the doorframe. “That bad, huh?”

Lev burst into tears, but she just pulled Lev into a hug and led him to the couch. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there sniffling, but he woke up to Nik leaning over to smother his face in kisses. Amara was gone, thank the stars, so Lev gave a grumble and tried to pull Nik down on top of him. Nik let him, settling on top of him so he could kiss Lev properly. After looping his arms around Nik’s neck, Lev sighed softly, kissing back sleepily.

Lev noticed Amara’s approach just seconds before she smacked the back of Nik’s head with a rolled up magazine. “Not on my couch, you bastard,” she complained.

Nik looked up at her, sticking his tongue out. “You’re just jealous.”

“Of you fucking my cousin? No. Just grossed out. I don’t wanna see that. Go home and fuck him if you want to so bad. Not like he wants to stay here anyway,” she retorted.

“I’m- I didn’t mean to offend you,” Lev started in a small voice, only to squeak as Nik shoved his hand down Lev’s pants.

“Dunno, Mar, he seems fine to me.”

Lev dug his nails in Nik’s wrist, giving a small, mortified, “Nikolas.”

That at least distracted Nik, who bit down on Lev’s throat. “Mm?”

Lev bit back whatever sound was trying to escape him and said, tightly, “I wanna go home. I’ll blow you or something, but not on my cousin’s couch while she watches.” Even Lev’s newfound exhibition kink had its limits.

“Yea, yea. Sure. Let’s go.” Nik smacked a kiss on Lev’s cheek before pulling away and standing. Lev stood more slowly, adjusting his clothes. He slid a hand in Nik’s before looking at Amara.

“Thanks for not killing me,” he said, lightly.

“Meh, maybe next time,” she teased back. “Get out of here and go get some dick, before you stink up my apartment more.”

Nik resisted Lev’s attempts to push him out the door long enough to shoot back, “Speak for yourself. You have sex just as much as me.”

Lev sighed in relief when he got Nik outside. He quickly burrowed into Nik’s side, and said, “Cam’s not annoyed with me, is he?”

“Nah. He has the baby to be annoyed by,” Nik said, leading the way to a sleek black bike. Lev pulled to a stop, eyeing it with distaste.

“You rode a motorcycle here?” He asked, more defeated than anything else.

“No. I walked here.”

Lev caught the helmet Nik tossed at him just barely, and sighed. “Of course you rode a motorcycle.”

“Only the best for you, babe,” Nik promised.

Lev huffed. “Somehow this feels like a punishment,” Lev muttered as he pulled the helmet on.

“Now why would I do something like that?” Nik asked.

Lev shook his head, and just motioned at the bike. Might as well get it over with. He climbed on behind Nik, wrapping his arms tightly around him. If Lev didn’t know better, Nik smiled at him over his shoulder.

“Hold on tight,” Nik said.

Lev shoved his face against Nik’s back, and didn’t open his eyes for the rest of the ride.

----

Nate had shown up right as soon as Nik had walked out the door. Right before he disappeared, Nik had told him that he was off to rescue Lev from Amara. If Nate hadn’t known better, he’d have thought Lev had purposefully tried wiggling his way out of training with him. But he did know better, which is why Nate now found himself sitting on Cameron’s living room floor with a six month old wiggling demon baby chewing on a pair of toy keys.

He still couldn’t believe that this little girl was created from the same DNA as Cameron of all people, but she was right here, the spitting image of him, despite the wide smile on her face and her hazel-green eyes. Nate poked her nose. “You are the cutest little shit,” he said, fondly. “I bet you make Cameron’s life hell.”

Eden babbled happily at him, waving around the keys, clearly in agreement with Nate’s assessment. Nate found himself smiling and poking her belly. “Goooood.”

“You can play with the baby without talking,” Cameron said, from the chair. “Or are you unable to be quiet like your brother.”

“I am physically incapable of doing what you want,” Nate replied, rolling onto his back to put Eden on his belly. “If that means talking nonstop, so be it.”

“What does my brother see in you?” Cameron mused. “Clearly it’s on a physical level because I cannot see otherwise.”

“That’s because you have the emotional intelligence of a rodent,” Nate said, wiggling Eden’s toes. “Isn’t that right, baby?” Eden squealed and smacked his stomach, nearly falling on her face, had Nate not been holding her in place. “Mmm. See?”

“Yes,” Cameron said, “I’m going to take the word of an infant. Great idea.”

Nate decidedly ignored whatever it was Cameron said next, and kept playing with Eden until Nik and Lev decided to grace them with their presence. Nate tilted his head back and looked at Lev who opened his mouth before instantly snapping it shut, eyes bright with apology. “Nate. You- I forgot- I am so-”

Nate said, “Nik, take the baby.” His brother was already moving before he had the whole sentence out. When he was to his feet, Nate smoothed down his shirt. “It’s okay,” he tried. “We all forget things, and honestly, who wouldn’t want to forget training?”

“Bay,” Cameron said, instantly.

Nate rolled his eyes at him. “No one asked you.”

“Well, you clearly asked someone.”

Nate ignored him and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Are you going to be able to train today?”

“Do I have a choice?” Lev winced, adding a small, “I’ll be fine.”

Nate gnawed at his lip ring. He wasn’t sure how to suggest they not do it, if only because he also wasn’t the biggest fan of training. He wasn’t exactly the best warrior, and he had no intention of being one, but he was of the right temperament to be able to help Lev, and he supposed that was why his mate had suggested it be him to do it. He was likely the one to go the easiest on him. “If… it makes you feel better, it’s not exactly my favorite hobby either. We could… skip for the day, if you want?” Lev did look like shit, but Nate wasn’t going to say that.

Lev shook his head. “No,” he said, “Bay’ll be mad at me if we don’t.”

“Bay’ll live,” Nik said. “We can protect you.”

“No,” Nate said, cutting his brother a look. “What’s going to happen if by some chance Lev is alone without either of you there to protect him? Hmm? Demons would chew him apart.” He gave Lev an apologetic look. “But we can take it easy for today. Work on magic?”

Lev nodded. “Okay.”

“Well, we already know he can make buttplugs,” Nik said, bouncing Eden.

He had never seen Lev move as fast as he had when he whipped around to look at Nik like he was insane. “No? That was Silas.”

“My mistake,” Nik said, dryly.

Lev flushed a bright gold, when he turned back to Nate. Nate forced himself to not smile at the mortified look on Lev’s face. “I’m sure you can do great things with your shadows. Why don’t we go ahead and head to the gym to find out?”

“Okay,” Lev said.

Nate gave him a small smile and led him back to the gym. It was just as pristine as the rest of the house with state of the art equipment, which clearly made sense considering both Nik and Cameron’s… extra curriculars. He went to sit in the middle of the training mat with his legs closed. “Show me what you can do,” Nate said. “I want to see how they work.”

Lev looked around a bit, before wenting to an unlit corner and just… disappeared. No.. he pulled the shadows.. Around himself. Nate’s brows shot up and he went to get up to inspect. Nate couldn’t see him- he wouldn’t be able to see anything if he hadn’t known that Lev was there. He could still smell his magic, still sense it; the same sweet angelic scent that all angel magic had.

The shadows started fading away and Lev’s golden eyes eventually reappeared. “I’m pretty good at hiding when I need to,” he said, sheepishly. “It just doesn’t do me much good in a fight.”

Nate smiled at him, pleased. “Well,” he said, “it’s been my experience that a good defense is sometimes just as good as a good offense. There’s no point of a fight when you can’t defend yourself and you just need to be able to defend yourself until you get to safety. Or in this case, to either Nik or Baylor. Or me.”

“Or Cameron,” Lev said, solemnly, clearly not realizing that Nate had left Cameron off that list intentionally.

“Okay,” Nate said, starting back for the mat. He settled back down on the floor and looked up at Lev. “So we know you can hide well. Can you make things with your shadows? Or solidify them somehow? If you can’t fight with them, then you could put up a wall and run. It’ll slow down any attackers.”

Lev was flushing a bright gold while he settled down in front of Nate. “Silas and I made a little progress with that but that was fifty years ago.”

Nate bit at his lip. “And you haven’t tried anything since?”

Lev looked down at his hands. “We… a lot of the stuff we did, I haven’t… we didn’t do it in the training room. I didn’t find anyone I could trust with that until recently, and I don’t like failing, so I haven’t tried. Sometimes when I’m annoyed with Amara, I can… throw some in her face, but it’s not.. Super substansial. It never has been.”

Training through alternative methods, or sexual methods, did seem right up Silas’ alley, Nate supposed. It was also up his, as well. But he did not think that particular training method would go well for anyone involved. Least of all him, unless he wanted castrated by his mate. But he was far too fond of his cock to even attempt it, even if he wanted to. “Well,” Nate said, biting his thumb nail. “I do not think I could help you with that kind of training. I’m sure Silas would want to, but I’m sure neither Baylor or Cameron would allow that, and I’m sure Silas would not go against my mate’s word. But I’m also sure that neither Nik nor Cameron would be against helping you, uh, train.”

Lev had gotten golder and golder with each word before nearly being as gold as his eyes by the time Nate finished, staring at him wide eyed. He gave a very faint, “I couldn’t ask that of them.”

“I’m sure it wouldn’t be too much trouble for Nik,” Nate said, dryly. “He’d be very eager to help.” Nik was almost as bad as he was, if not worse than he was when it came to finding reasons to fuck around. Nate just had more self control on the matter. Besides, his mate definitely would not do that, just because he actually enjoyed training. So abusing magic for the sake of getting laid was not in the cards. Though, he didn’t know how his particular brand of magic could be used for sex- unless Baylor felt like getting fucked by a ghost. Or straight up dying.

Though-

Knowing his mate-

Lev looked so embarrassed. “I couldn’t- I wouldn’t know how to-”

“If you want, I can ask him?” Nate said.

Lev somehow flushed even more before hiding his face in his hands. Nate winced. “Sorry. Just a suggestion.”

“Nooooo,” Lev moaned, before giving a small, “Maybe?”

“I don’t mind,” Nate tried. “If it’ll help your training….”

The poor omega was so gold. “If you think I should…”

“I’m never one to suggest no sex,” Nate confided in him. “I don’t see any cons with this. Except maybe a sore ass. Though, I can’t imagine you’d be too upset about that. Not if you’re dating Nik of all people.”

Lev shook his head, head still in his hands. “Well… if you really think I should… but… Bay?”

“We’d still be doing our part,” Nate said, keeping the mild irritation out of his voice. “You’d just… be doing extra credit.”

Lev nodded quickly. “Oh I know, I didn’t mean- I know, I just, does he have to know about- about my- my sex life?”

Nate chewed at his lip ring. “He won’t know too much,” he said. “And either way he won’t care, or tell anyone. Even Silas.”

Lev finally looked up. “I didn’t think he’d tell anyone,” he said. “I guess I thought he’d not be okay with it.” Lev paused for a moment. “It’s not very… conventional.”

“Well, neither is being a hybrid raised among humans, and bound to humanity for nineteen years, but here my mate is. I don’t think he’ll care so long as you are training.”

Lev nodded a little. “Okay.”

Nate smiled brightly. “Okay,” he agreed.

-------

Cameron sat in the living room with Eden and Nik while Nate and Lev were off training until Nate finally left; but not before Nate pulled Nik to the side and Lev beelining for the wiggling infant on the floor. When Nik came back, he looked faintly amused. “Nate’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Fantastic,” Cameron said. “I’ll be at the club.”

“Your pissing contest is getting annoying,” Nik mumbled. Lev looked up at that, confusion etched on his face. “Nate doesn’t like Cameron,” he explained.

Lev’s frown deepened. “But Cameron’s nice.”

Cameron looked at him, disgusted. He was many, many things, but in the last three hundred years, no one had the gall to call him nice to his face. “Never say that again.”

“But you… are? You’re nice to me,” Lev said.

Cameron gave Nik an icy look when Nik started wheezing. “Stars,” he said, wiping away nonexistent tears. “Imagine calling Cameron nice. You’d probably think anyone that didn’t just kill you was a nice person, wouldn’t you?”

“Bay’s not nice,” Lev said, sadly.

Bay would probably be just as disgusted with this observation as he was. When Cameron said as much, Nik said, “Lev, stop talking. There is no way you’re going to win this conversation.”

Lev’s only response was pressing his face against Eden, who decided to smack Lev in the face, babbling angrily at him. Lev’s small wounded sound had Cameron rolling his eyes. “I think it’s time for bed.”

Nik seemed to perk up at that, but Lev looked borderline devastated. “I can do it.”

“I’ll do it,” Cameron said, going to stand up. “Bring her, if you want, I guess. But I’m going to do it.” Cameron didn’t give either of them the option to argue with him and started for the nursery. He had a routine and he was not going to let Lev’s hormones get in the way of it.

He let Lev change Eden into her pajamas but ended up taking her from the angel, saying, “Go get prepped for bed while I put her down.” Nik was already walking out of the room, pulling his shirt off. Cameron said, “Your turn.”

Lev handed her over, but not before getting on his toes and rubbing his cheek against Cameron’s and kissing the top of Eden’s head. Cameron refrained from wiping his cheek on his shoulder from the feeling of goosebumps jolting through his skin. “Night, bitty girl,” Lev said, to Eden before following after Nik.

Cameron wasn’t sure what to think of that nickname, other than the fact it wasn’t all that creative. She was an infant, of course she was small. But he elected to not say anything and just lightly bounced Eden while he went to sit in the rocking chair.

Her small hands clenched at his shirt while Cameron coaxed the bottle of formula into her mouth. She latched onto it like a starving man in the desert, but started settling against his chest while sucking at the bottle.

Cameron pressed his lips to the top of her head, inhaling the pure baby smell mixed with her scent. He tried not to think about how she happened to share the same eyes as three members of his family, that apparently despite this, she was supposed to look like him, though, he couldn’t see it. But perhaps that was just wishful thinking on his part.

----

Lev took a thorough shower, less because he needed one desperately, and more because he was relieved the day was over. He finally took out the plug, now that he had the chance to, and left it on the bathroom counter while he scrubbed himself down. Knowing how long Cameron took to get Eden to sleep, Lev figured he had the time to just enjoy himself.

“You're taking too long and I want attention.”

Nik’s voice startled Lev. He jerked, almost slipping, and whipped around to find Nik watching him, having poked his head behind the curtain.

“I was- I’m almost done,” Lev promised. He slicked his hair back and blew a drop of water off his nose. “Give me a few minutes?”

Nik pouted, but sulked off to the bedroom with a petulant, “Fine,” two fingers already in his ass. Lev watched him go, eyes wide. He turned off the water despite what he’d said, and fumbled for a towel. After drying off hastily he slipped into the bedroom and bounced onto the bed beside Nik. Nik didn’t even look up from where he was presenting himself, fingers still deep in himself. Lev ran his hands up Nik’s thigh, and then said curiously, “Can I...?”

Nik gave a soft moan, and just gave a “Yes,” which was hot enough in itself.

Lev nudged Nik’s hand out of the way and settled more comfortably as he slid a couple fingers in Nik. He didn’t get very far before Nik opened his eyes and looked at him.

“Use your shadows,” Nik demanded.

Lev blinked, hand stilling. “I- are you sure? I’m not- I’m no good- It’s not gonna be good.”

“You're only going to get good if you can learn how to satisfy me.”

Lev grimaced, but pulled his fingers out, eyeing the slick that coated them.

“Lick them clean,” Nik said, catching Lev’s eye.

Even though he could feel his face heating, Lev obeyed without thinking, sucking his fingers in his mouth. He held Nik’s gaze, taking his time. Once he was done, he braced his hands on his knees and reached for his magic, tugging shadows into existence. He ran them along Nik’s side, unsure if it was even tangible yet.

“You’re doing good,” Nik said, humming softly. “But make them a little stronger, Lev.”

Lev flushed. “I- I’m- okay,” he said faintly, digging his fingers into his knees. He slid them further, winding down Nik’s thigh curiously, before nudging them up. “I- can you even feel anything?” he asked, letting them vanish.

“A little,” Nik said, nodding.

Lev took a small breath. And then another. And then another, less small breath. His nails left indents in his skin as he summoned his shadows again, running them carefully along Nik’s skin. He was just starting to push at Nik’s hole with all the caution he could muster when he realized Cameron had appeared in the doorway of the bedroom and was leaning against it with his arms crossed.

Lev went gold, his breath catching. His shadows jerked forward, more solid than they’d been all day, shoving into Nik. Nik choked on his next moan, but Lev had already let his magic vanish.

“I can’t,” he said, scrambling back. “I- I can’t.”

Nik was panting as he said, “What’s wrong? You were doing fine.”

Lev shook his head. Once again he dug his nails into his knees, trying to figure out how to explain. Before he could put his thoughts in order, Cameron was at his side, uncurling his fingers with a firm, “Stop.”

Lev pressed his palms against his thighs instead. “I don’t trust myself not to hurt you,” Lev finally said. “I’m not good enough yet. I’ve never- I don’t use them on people.”

“That’s half the fun,” Nik joked.

At the same time, Cameron said evenly, “You’re not going to hurt us.”

Lev shook his head again. “You don’t know that. I don’t have any sort of control over this. I don’t- I can’t and I won't use them on you before I know I’m not going to fuck up and do any sort of harm.”

Cameron shrugged. “That’s your choice, but you’re not going to hurt us. We’ve both been through worse.”

It wasn’t until Lev wrapped his arms around himself that he found the words he wanted to use. “I don’t like having the opportunity. I can’t. I can’t.” He didn’t think Cameron really understood why this bothered him so much, and he didn’t know how else to explain it to him. He looked over at Nik, who was sitting up by this point, and tried not to cry. “I’ll- I’ll fuck you if you want something in- if you want me in you, but- I’ll just keep working on my magic with Nate, I think. At least until I- I trust myself.”

Nik leaned over and kissed him softly. “It’s okay.”

When Lev crawled into his lap, Nik wrapped his arms around him. Lev rubbed his face in Nik’s neck, and sighed. “Do you still want sex?”

Cameron snorted from beside them.

Nik ran his hands down Lev’s back. “I always want sex.” His hands drifted lower, grabbing at Lev’s ass. “How about I ride you? That seems fair.”

Lev nosed under Nik’s jaw before nipping at his neck shyly. “Okay,” he said softly. “I can do that.”

tagging: @idreamonpaper @incandescent-creativity @livvywrites @halstudies @alittleyellowdinosaur

#hell to pay #writeblr #writers on tumblr #ch: cameron #ch: nik #cameron and nik and lev #ch: Nate #wip boost

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hazinhoodies · 5 years

Text

Mal en Point (part xv)

Koh!Harrison x Angel!Reader

A/N: uh i know its been a while and im sorry, uni is really hard and all im really asking is that you give me the same support that you give other writers when they dont post regularly or they post sporadically like i am iright now. quite frankly i don’t think i’ve been getting that but anyways. heres this. enjoy.

Warnings: overwhelming fluff, uh me not knowing what to write in the first half, uh i wrote most of this while i was drunk so sorry

Word Count: 2.7k

“Lilith put some new stuff in your wardrobe I believe, why don’t you look through those?” Harry asks as you round the corner down the hall that leads to your bedroom, you were starting to get to know your way around better. You’d just told him about Harrison asking you to dinner and inquired about what to wear. Truthfully, he was the best friend you had down here. Harry had smirked when you told him about Harrison’s proposition, clearly, he knew something you didn’t, but you didn’t pester about it.

“Well, that was the plan, look through what I have. I’ll figure something out hopefully” You push open the door to your room and Harry follows you in, sitting down in the velvet upholstered chair in front of the vanity in your room and spinning it so it faces you and the wardrobe you search through.

“You know I'm not much help with this, right? I’m not the best at this sort of stuff. I’ve got about seven of the same shirt and pants in my closet and that’s because Harrison chose them for me then I just stuck with it.” Harry lounges back in the chair, tapping his fingers along the arm.

“Yeah but you have eyes. You can tell me if something’s okay or not.” You continue to search through, stopping at a dress that looks eerily similar to the one Iezebel wore the one time you met her. You run the fabric between your fingers before moving on. That just felt wrong to you. You stop at a red one, not a deep burgundy red, a vibrant red, and pull it out, looking at it momentarily before turning it around to show Harry who only shrugs and tells you to try it.

You look at yourself in the mirror of the en-suite bathroom off of your room. You feel out of place. Like you stand out too much. As if that’s not how you’ve felt this entire time. The dress stops a little lower than your mid-thigh and hugs your waist in a way that you love. Stepping out of the bathroom finally, Harry’s attention moves from lighting and extinguishing the oil lamp on your vanity and onto you where his eyes go wide.

“I don’t think you have to look much longer, that was easy,” Harry says and you shake your head, a tight smile on your lips. “I’m serious. If it’s that easy every time then I’m glad to help, or maybe I’m just way better at this than I thought” That time you laugh out loud.

“You did absolutely nothing but waste my lamp, don’t flatter yourself Harry” You laugh from the bathroom as you change back into your plain black clothing you were in before. You still don’t know how you feel about the black clothing. It suits you, it suits everyone really, but it doesn’t feel the same as the white. There’s something more comforting about it, it feels lighter. There aren’t a million rules attached to the colour. You don’t have to upkeep some unspoken oath to wear it.

“I have to get going, Haz wants me,” he says as he stands up, making his way over to you.

“What? How do you know?” You question, brows furrowed in confusion, so much so that the rest of your face scrunches up with it.

“I just know, weird things happen in hell, darling,” He says with a chuckle before continuing what he was going to say before. “Try not to stress too much about tonight. He’s not mean, not going to hurt you or anything. He’s just as nervous as you are, trust me.” He pressed a quick kiss to your cheek, “Try to have fun, it’ll make things easier”

Harrison watches as the small wood post erupts into flames, staring at it as the ash crumbles down and falls onto the floor, the orange edges fading to black. He’s so distracted that he doesn’t even hear the door open.

“Not bad. How long that’d take you?” Harrison knows it’s Tom before he turns around but he still does, only to see him leaning against the wall, arms crossed in front of his chest, face illuminated by the flickering orange of the disintegrating post. Harrison glances back at the post, deciding to let it burn out on its own before turning back to Tom and walking towards him.

“Not long, couple seconds of focus” Harrison opens the door and holds it for Tom who pushes himself off the wall and heads out the door, letting Harrison follow him.

“Really? You’re doing better” Harrison replies with a hum as the door clicks shut behind him, Tom continues, “I could do that when we were ten years old”

“Haha, very funny” Harrison replies dryly to Tom’s comments, hoping he hides hurt from the nerve Tom hit. “Was there something you needed?”

“Just coming to tell you that I’m heading to Earth soon to look for Lucius”

“How long do you think it’ll take?”

“If it takes any longer than a couple days I’ll let you know” Harrison nods and the two are left in silence momentarily. “So when were you going to tell me about the date with the angel you’ve got?”

“It’s not a date. Were just having dinner”

“Okay but normally ‘just dinner’ between two people who are attracted to each other isn’t just dinner”

“You think she’s attracted to me?”

“Her and everyone else in Hell” Harrison feels his cheeks heat up at the thought. “I think it’s a bad idea but nothing I’ve ever said has ever stopped you from doing anything so try to have fun I guess? Oh and wear the red suit with the weird pattern thing and the two different shades of red” Tom gestures in vague shapes across his chest, trying to demonstrate what he was thinking, only making Harrison laugh. Tom stops and deadpans at Harrison.

“No, please keep going,” Harrison says with a laugh.

“Oh shut up, you know what one I mean. Div” Tom rolled his eyes when Harrison only laughed more. “Okay, I’m going to go save a kid or something like that.”

“You go do that. Don’t hurt yourself” Toms already walking down the hall, only responding with a shake of his head.

Tom was right. Harrison did know what suit he was talking about. He buttons up the cuff and looks in the mirror. Admittedly he looked good, or at least he felt like he did. He’d only ever worn this one a few times before but it looked nice. Harrison runs his hand over his rib and down the jacket, feeling the change in texture from the different fabrics. He takes in one deep breath and exhales before going to the dining hall to make sure it was alright before you arrived.

By the time that you had gotten there, Harrison had made sure that the overly large table, the table he never even used for that matter, was gone and replaced with a smaller circular one. Although it made the room seem ginormous and empty, he figured it was better than two people sitting at a table meant to seat forty.

Dinner went well. He thought so. You did too. You told him about Heaven, life with someone powerful as your father, not that he didn’t know what it was like, the two of you compared shitty experiences. He told you stories of him and Tom as children and all the stupid things they did and only sometimes got caught for. He had you laughing so hard that wine nearly came out of your nose, and you had his heart fluttering with every giggle or smile that left your lips. Nevertheless, the stories left you with a small feeling of secondhand dread. What had happened that made them stop being friends?

The two of you wandered the garden behind the castle for a while, neither of you want the date to end. You admired the leaves on the bushes that were maybe only six inches shorter than you, the ones scattered with pretty flowers, while Harrison admired you doing so, never having seen something so beautiful as you. Especially when you seem happy. The small smile on your lips was one he hoped to burn into his mind for eternity, he never wants to forget what you look like right now, eyes bright and endless. Granted, you didn’t see him watching you.

“I didn’t know Hell had anything so beautiful” Your voice was sweet and soft, Harrison wants to hear it over and over for the rest of his life. He’s certain that anything you say would sound like a symphony, beautifully in sync and perfectly harmonized. If you think this is beautiful, you should see yourself, he thinks.

“This garden was probably the only good thing my father ever did. He created it for my mother, an attempt to woo her into marrying him really. She always told me that she would have anyways” He says and you turn around to face him, the smile that you have creates a similar one on his.

“It is gorgeous” is all you say after, continuing to take steps along the garden path.

“Can I ask you something, Y/N?” He says as polite as he can.

“Of course” You respond shaking your head gently, your brows furrow for a fraction of a second, wondering why he’d ask to ask you a question.

“Why did you fall? What did you do?” He asks, genuinely curious. Of course, he’d gotten an answer from you earlier, now he was hoping for something more concrete, something about you is hidden in that answer and he wants to find it.

“I did it on purpose,” You say hesitantly, “Seven sins. It’ll get you down to hell faster than you can say it” You chuckle.

“You’ve told me that but why?” He asks further. You stare at the grown, your feet stepping along the soft dirt in the pathway through the bushes.

“When I was little,” You start, “my mother and I were very close. My whole family was. We all looked out for each other, I tried my best but I was too young at the time to really understand life. I have this vivid memory of my mother and I going into the Great Hall to see my father. That’s what I thought was happening at least. It wasn’t uncommon for us to go see him after work and for us all to go home together”

“Sounds lovely, really” He interjects when you pause.

“It was. It really was. But this time my father picks me up and mother kisses my cheek and there are tears in her eyes. She goes into this one room and my father and I aren’t allowed in. She tells me she loves me and the door shuts behind her. And that was the last time I saw her” You end the story and rub at your eyes. Harrison doesn’t really know how to react, so he stands there, mouth agape momentarily.

“I asked what happened to her when I was older. My dad said she was banished here but never gave me a reason. Never told me what she did” You look up at Harrison and he can see the tears in your eyes, the way they’ve been glossed over with tears, glassy and about to spill over. He moves before he can stop himself, his hands coming to rest against your cheek, his thumb ready to wipe away anything that might start to roll down. He can’t help but notice the way that you lean into his touch as your cheeks start to heat up, your eyes fluttering shut for a second. It hurts but he knows that he has to say this.

“We haven’t had an angel fall in well over million years until you” He hopes you ignore the way his voice cracked and put the pieces together on your own so he doesn’t have to explicitly say that she’s not here. So he doesn’t have to tell you that you fell for nothing. You start nodding, his hand finally falling from your cheek. “I’m sorry”

“I know. It’s okay, don’t worry” You wipe your eyes and continue through the garden, exiting the tall bushes and finding the flowers which seem to cheer you up somewhat. You squat down to look at some pink camellias, admiring them, Harrison can’t help but to notice the red spots on your back, right where your wings would be.

“Does that hurt?” He asks and you stand up.

“Hm? Oh only a little bit”

“Here, let me help,” He says and you turn around, pulling your hair over one shoulder to grant him access to your back. He presses his thumbs into the red spots, causing them to ache for a second before the pain starts to go away. Harrison stops sooner than you would’ve liked him too, his hands falling from your shoulder blades as he comes to stand in front of you. “Better?” he asks, and you nod, giving him a soft smile and a quiet ‘thank you’

“Of course, it’s from your wings growing back, but it shouldn’t last long” He explains and you give him another small nod. The two of you stand there for a moment, your eyes wander the rest of the garden, still in shock of how beautiful it is. Movement from Harrison in your peripherals catches your attention, he’s leaning down and pulling off a flower from the camellias you had just been looking at earlier, he breaks it off from near the ground, leaving minimal blank space in the other flowers and then breaks off the much too long length of stem to something smaller and more manageable as he stands.

“May I?” He asks and raises the flower to accompany the question and you nod with a smile. His empty hand brushes your hair behind your ear before he passes the flower into that hand and places it behind your ear, holding back your hair. You feel a blush rise to your cheeks at the action. “You really do look stunning Y/N, I’m not sure how clear I made that earlier”

“You made that very clear at dinner, don’t worry” You chuckle and his hand slips down to your cheek once again.

“Well, then this is me reminding you” He smiles, its toothy and adorable and you swear your heart melts right there. You don’t notice how much either of you had been leaning towards the other until you can feel his breath warm against your skin, sending chills down your spine

“Thank you” Your lips brush against his when you speak, teasing at more. It sends a spark across Harrison’s lip that he’s dying to feel again.

Harrison caves. He tilts your jaw up and pressed his lips against yours, the sparks come back, flurrying through every nerve in his body. He’s got both hands on your cheeks now as if he needs to feel that this is real, like if he lets go you’ll be gone, slipped through his fingers. Your hands come to rest where his collar bones meet his shoulders and soon enough they slide up, across the fabric of his dress shirt, his suit jacket still on the back of his chair in the dining room, and your hands clasped together behind his head, pulling him impossibly closer. If you could live in this moment forever you would, but the two of you are starting to run out of air, there isn’t even time to open your eyes before your lips are back on his after the momentary breath. You can feel him smile into the kiss and it makes you smile too until the two of you are giggling so much that you can’t even focus on kissing the other. Your foreheads rest together as you catch your breath, Harrison is the first to speak.

“Fuck” is all he says, making both of you laugh. You’d let him kiss you until you were black and blue. He continues; “Where have you been all my life"

tags:

mep:

@sunflowerparkerr @thirsty-hoes-central @deleteidentity @buckystolemyheart @youngandfleeting @peterbrokenparker @babyplutoszx2 @crazyfreaker @writing-in-winter @awesomeaugustina @agirlwithpointlessideas

haz:

@definitely-not-black-cat @hjosterfield @imagines-andshizz @thequeensardine @artemisiaarm @sincerelymlg @butithasntkilledyouyet @bitchymathematician @ixchel-9275 @honeyyhuggs @nedthegay @ohyouremymedicine @awkwardfangirl2014 @parkerpeterholland @screeching-student-unknown @musicalburrage @itsrecklesscalum @jjasalem @practicallylivesonline @phia-eilice @osterfieldholland01 @happymagicbee @headsup-itsmostlypeter @starlightfound @empressdreams @isabellyduh

#mepseries #harrison osterfield #koh!harrison #koh!haz #kohau #angel!reader #angelau #demonau #haz osterfield x reader #haz osterfield x you #harrison osterfield x you #harrison osterfield x reader #haz osterfield fanfiction #haz osterfield fanfic #haz osterfield ff #haz osterfield series #harrison osterfield series #haz osterfield fic #harrison osterfield fic

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journaloftomfooleryandjapery · 5 years

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All the TOP 10 OF THE DECADE posts made me want to make one of my own, so here’s my 10 fave games this decade:

Yakuza 0 Shovel Knight Nier Automata Metal Gear Rising Gunvolt Chronicles Luminous Avenger IX Final Fantasy XV Scott pilgrim vs the world the game Undertale Persona 5 Doom

Danganronpa 2, New Vegas, Touhou Luna Nights, Katana Zero and Mario Odyssey all only barely missed out, and it was a tough decision not to include them. I loved the shit out of those games but thinking it through I decided they were just slightly less loved by me than the above.

Below the cut are some extended thoughts (of varying length) on the games included:

Just CTRL F if you wanna find a specific one

Yakuza 0

Every Yakuza game is delightful and this is definitely the best one, in my opinion. The Yakuza games appeal to me for a lot of reasons: the combat, the story, the variety of activities, the look of it all and the music. I feel like its a very unique game experience with its blend of weird in-depth side activities, serious crime drama, manly man masculine combat friendship melodrama, metal gear-esque convoluted conspiracies and a surprisingly compassionate view of the world it takes place in.

The combat is what drew me in initially because it just feels good, the feedback of stomping on a dudes face in yakuza is delivered perfectly, and the attacks are brutal, hard and flashy. Its a very solid and satisfying combat system and in 0 its the best it has ever been. The ability to switch between 3 different and equally fun fighting styles on the fly really lets you mix things up and adapt your approach, every style feels fun and useful. If i had to pick a favorite it would be slugger, but its a tough choice, and they are all very viable and FUN.

Yakuza 0 also gets big points for having the best story in the series. The protagonists feel much more interesting in this era, the fights feel more earned in this game than others, the relationships are incredibly touching (I’m almost mad majima didnt stay with makoto) and the substories (and some parts of the main story) are the funniest they’ve ever been. Stuff like the quasi-stealth mission where you have to make sure women don’t see you buying a porn magazine for a child, and the extended scene of kiryu trying to guess the right business manners for a meeting had me laughing so much i was i was almost in physical pain.

The extensive business and host club substories get you tons of extra game content and are good enough to almost be there own game. The other games in the series have extended side activites of varying quality, but i think 0 had a rare case of all of these being, basically, perfect. The team obviously agrees since host club management came back repeatedly, but never as good as it was here.

Being set in the 80s elevates almost everything in the game because of the outfits, money flying out of every enemy you attack, the classic sega games you can play at the arcade (Outrun is so much fun and I’d have never have given it a proper go otherwise) and the disco minigame everyones made a meme out of (that music is so catchy).

As a final note this game has the best boss fights and music in the series, which is a very high standard to surpass when you look at the rest of the series. The dual final boss fights, the recurring boss for kiryu and almost every majima fight are highlights of the entire series for me.

0 is going to end up being one of the few games I’ll never sell my copy of because i want it available for me to play forever, its a complete delight.

Shovel Knight

This game has been analysed to hell and back, so i wont have much original to say i suppose. Admittedly i did enjoy the first campaign but it didnt completely win me over, plague knights campaign and beyond was what really made this an all time greats for me. It’s one of very few games that gets the NES+SNES platforming appeal 100% right and essentially surpasses most games of the day, with almost perfect pacing, challenge and level design. IT helps that the whole world and story and look is charming as all hell. It’s an easy game to love and the more you play it the more that feels justified. Being PACKED with great content is also a plus. If you liked the first campaign you can just keep going through a set of campaigns about as good that only really rehash some level assets. I would say its one of the best 2D platformers ever for me, if not quite my true number 1.

ALSO JAKE KAUFMAN KNOCKS IT OUT THE PARK WITH THIS SOUNDTRACK

Since i have little else to add to the shovel knight discussion, here’s my ranking/thoughts on each campaign

Plague of shadows. BEST storyline, great levels with a really cool gameplay gimmick, the characters are all cute and the ending really makes me feel for him. both sorry for him at first and then a very real AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW for LOVE

King of cards. king knight is just fun as hell to play as, he doesnt have that many tools but his movement is just crazy fun and i love the flair in all his animations. also has that rad final boss. joustus is ok i guess.

Shovel of hope. uuuuuuh what can i even say about this. its good, and the melancholy dream bits add a lot to the mood of the story. we’ve already analysed this campaign within an inch of its life i dont think i can say anything new. wish we could fight the battletoads on pc.

Specter of torment. still fun and i appreciate the tone change, but i didnt care as much for the characters and the mega man-esque level select doesnt suit shovel knight imo. specter knight has a lot of fun movement options though. mainly i just love GRINDING and the diagonal slash. i dont give a fuck about reize

Nier Automata

I feel a tiny bit ashamed i have so little to say about this considering it is one of the most emotional experiences i have ever had with a story. If i lsten to the final version of weight of the world i still cry just from remembering this game and how it made me feel. i think its one of the greatest narratives of the century but i can barely get across the appeal to anyone who hasnt already played it. its a story about hope, despair and the nature of the human race that never feels like its preachy or pretensious or taking on more than it can handle. it made me feel all kinds of emotions deeply and intensely, it genuinely made me burst into tears about 10 times, maybe more. even putting aside the ggrand narrative, theres so many cool character moments and bits of world building and visual eements and tragic little side stories that you would need a whole book to talk about them all while doing any real justice to them. i loved it so much that im paying £70 to see an orchestra do the soundtrack live. I want to hug and kiss 2b and 9s better. i just love it deeply and i find it hard to explain why it makes me feel that way, but its a dark beautiful and hopeful story where every moment feels earned. the despair of the story giving way to genuine hope with the rest of the world helping you fight for it is such an intensely emotional moment that you could never replicate outside of this kind of story and medium. how the fuck do i explain that to anyone that doesnt already get it. I’m glad this game exists

Metal Gear Rising

Well, complete tone shift here. Platinum made a lot of great action games in the last decade that all dig into that same itch for DODGE SLOW MOTION BANG BANG BANG alongside great soundtracks, visuals and awesome set piece moments. Just intense, flashy, awesome combat. Picking a favorite of the decade was the hard part, because a platinum game had to be one of my faves of the decade. The closest was transformers, but mgr has a couple of things about it that put it above the rest of the platinum catalog for me.

The story actually works very well at still being metal gear while in the platinum formula, its about the cycle of violence and FINDING YOUR OWN PURPOSE and it works weirdly well. The strangest part is that it feels like a legitimate sequel to metal gear 4 tonally while still being the crazy action game it is

Raiden is just super fun to play as, while I’ll always miss the DODGE SLOWMO in a platinum game parry and zandatsu give a great flow to fights and there’s real exhilaration to parrying a hard chain of attacks and tearing out a bunch of enemies spines at once every time

raiden is also just a fun protag, it truly allows me to embrace that kind of stereotypical edgy cool anime swordsman he embodies

BEST PLATINUM SOUNDTRACK DO NOT @ ME

Bosses just rule

one of the best final bosses ever, in my opinion? maybe that’s controversial, but armstrong gets an insane amount of characterization and pure PRESENCE out of such a small amount of screen time and the fact he feels like such a perfect rival to raiden so quickly is kind of nuts to me. within about half an hour you are ready for the ultimate final showdown with everything at stake, and then the gameplay 100% delivers on that with a fight that is challenging as hell and just feels climatic and intimidating. its a little thing, but having this dude just smack you around with his hands and almost no fighting skill after a game filled with crazy flippy cyborg ninjas makes him feel TOUGH and the way you finish him off? it just rocks, plain and simple. I don’t think i need to justify slices a massive dudes chest open and ripping out his giant still beating robot heart as the music climaxes and our cool edgy protag literally says WE’RE DONE HERE. truly, it has to be this way.

Gunvolt Chronicles Luminous Avenger IX

For fast twitchy 2d platformers this barely beat out Katana Zero and Touhou Luna Nights, but i think its just a little better. The skill ceiling on this game is high as hell and once you really get to grips with it, its an experience you cant find anywhere else. its just satisfying as hell to be able to get through the point where you can ZOOM through these levels by making use of copen’s dash and lock-on and weapons well enough. once you get good enough to get through a hole level without touching the ground, you just cant go back. I liked this enough to get an S rank on almost every level. this game just rules, man.

story, art and music are all great as well. but they pale in importance next to zippy jetpack zoom zoom fun time.

also great for having a cool twist that i genuinely did not see coming at all

Final Fantasy XV

For context, my experience of FFXV was not the base game so i cannot personally address the concerns of the version at launch, which i hear from others was a total mess! The game has been updated and changed so much that it is probably almost unrecognizable aside from the absolute base aspects of it. The version i am talking about is, as far as we know, the “final” version released right before Episode Ardyn. There was of course an update after this, but it only added DLC compatibility and a few items, so it means very little in the grand scheme. I also played all of the dlc and watched all the periphery material to get the full, messy disjointed experience. it is also worth noting that the only other FF game i have played is the classic title Mario Hoops 3 on 3 Basketball. I feel it important to tell you this before getting into things so that you can have a full idea of the perspective i come at the game from.

This was chosen over Mario Odyssey and someone will probably kill me for that. I just think its a great emotional story that does a fantastic job of making you care for all the characters, and the world feels massive and full of cool stuff to see. It’s my favorite open world game and i love The Boys. its not the kind of thing i usually play but i think it genuinely had a great story and its a very fun game to just explore and spend time in. ffxv truly understands the emotional bond between The Lads and it is fun to kill big monsters with your party

(they kinda ruin the last cutscene in english, in japanese he says I LOVE YOU GUYS and it makes me cry but in english he goes U GUYS ARE THE BEST which just isnt the same. a small nitpick though. a lot of this game made me cry regardless, its just great at creating an emotional bond)

I admire the insane level of ambition in the visuals and scope, and i bought every dlc for it because it was just that good. the ifrit boss fight and all the giant monsters are just amazingly epic in scale. the “found a cool rock” post is what i truly admire about this game summed up.

all the ancillary material for the game is great and worth getting into, with the exception of the Comrades multiplayer expansion. Everything else adds depth to the story and the world without being entirely necessary for you to get through the story. the anime and the dlc all really feel worth getting into without being something you have to see to get The Full Experience

the giant monsters are cool

Scott Pilgrim vs the World: The Game

Being from 2010 this game only just makes it in, but it was my favorite beat em up this decade and a source of great nostalgia for me. It had a pretty big impact on music and art tastes in regards to games, and in retrospect this games existence was very much a dream team scenario. Paul Robertson is a great sprite artist who does a lot of good work, Anamanaguchi have gone on to become one of my favorite bands (another winter is still one of their best tracks imo) and at the time this came out i was obsessed with scott pilgrim. That plus the beat em up gameplay makes this kind of a perfect blending of a lot of my specific tastes. Playing this brings me back to the time in my school life that i played it very distinctly, a more comfortable time in my life for sure, and i think the game still stands up excellently. I hope that someday it will get a rerelease so others can enjoy it. I give this another play through every year or so, but i wish id gotten the dlc while it was still available

Doom

ITS VIOLENT ITS FAST ITS FUN ITS METAL

i like this game because of the intense adrenaline rush and violent catharsis it gives me, essentially a constant dopamine rush

fun game good

Undertale

I’m glad i got to this before the massive wave of spoilers and popularity came about. It’s a great story with some fun gameplay, and i think SANS UNDERTALE was one of the best boss fights this decade. Its a shame that for so many new players this experience is going to be ruined by spoilers

Persona 5

Danganronpa 2 and fallout new vegas were close contenders for this last spot. I actually made a post about my thoughts on this game before https://journaloftomfooleryandjapery.tumblr.com/post/184341270554/nue-is-great-love-his-goofy-design-when-life-will but essentially

Essentially, its got a great cast of characters, a cool slick look, great monster designs, a fun gameplay loop of collecting monsters and grinding stats while waiting for the next big event, and a surprisingly good story

No idea if royal is any good, but its on a pretty small list of games that i might actually take the time to replay

#game thoughts

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prismagoat · 5 years

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Major Arcana Ask Meme, Iwamori

@angst-for-the-angst-god this one was harder than expected ^^

I. The Magician — What does your muse consider theirself an expert in? Iwamori is pretty good at punching Stuff, an excellent Driver and decent with all manner of crafts

II. The High Priestess — How does your muse feel about religion? With all the supernatural Shit popping out around him, he can see the Shinto Faith getting quite a bit of... substance

III. The Empress — Describe your muse’s relationship with their mother (and father). What he remembers of her is fond, but she died when he was pretty young so memories are a bit muddy, same with his father so im using the emperor for his uncle :D

IV. The Emperor — Describe your muse’s relationship with their uncle. Grudging Respect? Iwamori wants to do his own thing, and his uncle lets him (mostly) do that, supports him even, yet for some reason, Iwa is somewhat on edge around him (maybe its werewolf thing, he cant tell)

V. The Hierophant — Who does your muse turn to when they’re in desperate need of help? Others come to him when they are in desperate need of help, obviously, or at least thats how he would like it to be... so he will probably ask his friends, while trying to play down how desperate it is exactly

VI. The Lovers — What’s your muses feelings about love? Thats a strong word, Iwamori doesnt bond easily and neither is it easy bonding with him

VII. The Chariot — Describe one of your muses coping mechanisms. He only recently discovered that he feels alright talking about worrying stuff with people outside of the close circle of friends he has, which is odd and somewhat irritating

VIII. Strength — Describe how your muse handles trauma. To swallow your fear you have to eat it first :P and he's good at both... after all someone has to remain unfazed by the whole shit, and that someone is him, or so he thinks

IX. The Hermit — Describe how your muse deals with personal issues. Uff.... ignore them? He tends to believe he's in the right, and has a hard time admitting mistakes

X. Wheel of Fortune — Has your muse ever had to start over, or have they ever wanted to? He is currently in the process of restarting everything they took for granted... magic is real, he's a werewolf, his oldest friends now have friends besides him, he has now friends besides them, that urge to take control is stronger than ever... i could go on, its a lot

XI. Justice — Describe a time when your muse received just desserts - regardless of if that was what they wanted. He once killed a swan, that could have easily just been shoved aside or (semi) ignored and is now doing reparations for that, turns out the swans had people who liked them

XII. The Hanged Man — Describe a time where your muse felt persecuted. When he was aggressivly pushing Taylor to spill his secrets he felt... driven? Everything was shitty, everyone was hostile, most of all he himself

XIII. Death — Describe a time where your muse felt like they lost a major part of their life. He felt (and still feels sometimes) bad about his circle of friends being bigger... yes that is a good thing, but everything is complicated, supernatural things creep out of every corner and closet and he misses the simpler times, when everything was clear and structured, just him and his buddies, the rebels, the outcasts, the foreigners

XIV. Temperance — Does your muse feel like they have their life in order? Not anymore, as said, the simple times are over... going back? No, he wants to keep this expanded world, he feels at ease every now and then even, its just... ̶i̶t̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶m̶u̶c̶h̶,̶ ̶w̶a̶y̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶m̶u̶c̶h̶,̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶n̶e̶e̶d̶s̶ ̶a̶ ̶b̶r̶e̶a̶k̶,̶ ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶s̶ ̶a̶ ̶b̶r̶e̶a̶k̶,̶ ̶m̶a̶y̶b̶e̶ ̶j̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶w̶o̶l̶f̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶a̶ ̶c̶o̶u̶p̶l̶e̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶d̶a̶y̶s̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶a̶ ̶f̶e̶w̶ ̶w̶e̶e̶k̶s̶,̶ ̶r̶u̶n̶n̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶r̶o̶u̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶o̶o̶d̶s̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶s̶t̶a̶y̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶o̶n̶e̶s̶ ̶p̶l̶a̶c̶e̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶j̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶h̶u̶g̶g̶e̶d̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶c̶u̶d̶d̶l̶e̶d̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶c̶a̶r̶e̶d̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶,̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶n̶e̶e̶d̶s̶ ̶t̶i̶m̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶s̶e̶t̶t̶l̶e̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶r̶y̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶m̶o̶v̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶f̶a̶s̶t̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶o̶w̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶s̶e̶l̶f̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶l̶e̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶s̶ ̶a̶l̶o̶n̶e̶,̶ ̶m̶a̶y̶b̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶n̶e̶e̶d̶ ̶h̶e̶l̶p̶,̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶i̶f̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶s̶ ̶h̶u̶r̶t̶?̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶i̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶l̶i̶z̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶n̶e̶e̶d̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶?̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶d̶o̶e̶s̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶o̶n̶t̶r̶i̶b̶u̶t̶e̶ ̶a̶f̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶?̶ ̶h̶e̶a̶d̶'̶s̶ ̶s̶p̶i̶n̶n̶i̶n̶g̶.̶.̶.̶ ... *shakes head* nah, everything is alright, lets get going

XV. The Devil — Has your muse ever given into temptation? Certainly, getting angry is easy, and he let the anger take over quite often back in the day, but he can't allow himself that anymore, can he?

XVI. The Tower — What does your muse consider to be the worst thing that ever happened to them? He lost control one time to often and people got hurt... people he didnt intend to hurt... that will not happen again

XVII. The Star — Describe the type of art that your muse is drawn towards. Things that take raw, sturdy materials and give them form, wood-carving, smithing, gem-cutting

XVIII. The Moon — Describe an uneasy time in your muse’s life. The time when the supernatural shit started, before he discovered the whole werewolf stuff... that was a whole new level of helplessness

XIX. The Sun — Describe a happy moment in your muse’s life. Playing games with friends, loitering around at public places, working a bit on his motorcycle and bake some cookies, the luxury of a normal day

XX. Judgement — Describe a time where your muse had to make a difficult decision. Every time he needs to apologize... its hard, admitting he made a mistake and feels sorry about it happening

XXI. The World — What are your muses biggest dreams, and how do they plan to achieve them? Uff... he doesnt really have time for dreams, reality is to present usually... would be nice to tour around the country though, once shino and ganesh turn 18 aswell

XXII/0. The Fool — Has your muse ever faced a high risk high reward opportunity that could potentially leave them ruined? Describe that opportunity and whether or not they took it. The darkness once offered him everything he wanted... but yeah, he's not the smartest guy, but neither dumb nor desperate enough to take that offer on, as if people hand out unlimited wishes for free, he has seen enough movies and played enough games to see where that is going

#rpg #iwamori

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tarotdeckshuffle · 5 years

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Witch and familiar au what if one of the guys from ff xv was cursed as a furry animal and mc, the local witch, finds them and takes care of them and poof they wake up with a half whatever animal/human in their bed and the other is just all "yeah so this awkward but I gotta a good explanation." Im leaning heavily on it being Prompto with some form of dog ears.

I’m glad I can finally get to this request, @roshytsunami! I was originally going to do HCs about a lot of characters in this situation, but now I think I’ll do a short fic.

I think your idea about half fish Noctis (wait, that’s a merman, right?) is awesome! I also really want to see faun Gladio (goat legs and maybe horns?) and maybe a half cat Ignis…rotfl idk. OHH! What about a half falcon Ravus, so he can have wings?!?! Or a wolfy Nyx?! Ok, I’m getting ahead of myself. I don’t have time to write all of these right now >.

If any of these ideas sound good to you, please request them! I get to requests before originals and use them to gauge what ideas people think sound interesting.

Btw, Roshy is a mod for an upcoming Prompto centered zine that you can check out here!

Prompto just works too well with SnapChat…

Taglist: @idiotflowerex, @laststory1013, @sayaoqueen, @jophinabean, @mysme-already

If you like what you read, please consider supporting me on Patreon or buying me a Ko-fi!

Love Spell

Eye of newt,Tongue of dove,A blue flame’s soot,NOW SHOW MY LOVE!

Over your table top cauldron you chanted, throwing each ingredient in. The small container bubbled with a pinkish liquid until you chanted the last line, in which it overflowed into yellow steam over the sides. It was the color of a sunflower explosion.

Fitting, considering who you were looking for.

You must be truly desperate to be trying your own spell to find him, you thought to yourself. The room around you stayed quiet as the yellow steam dissipated.

Life wasn’t easy for your friendly neighborhood modern witch. The tarot cards were moody and only liked to read misfortune while your modern cauldron was the size of a two cup measuring cup. Who could afford a giant cast iron pot these days? You made up most of your own spells because the ingredients for the ones you found in old books or online all called for expensive items that couldn’t be found in your city. You were a witch that flew by the seat of your pants, not a broom.

Without warning, the smell of the potion exploded into the room. It was an unpleasant combination like cheap cologne and a seeding mint plant. The odor overwhelmed your small flat and your ran to the kitchen window, throwing it open to gasp at the fresh air.

As your lungs took their fill, you lingered in the warm windowsill. The sun glowed on your skin, heating your body after the cold of your flat. Your fingers played in the soft soil of your flower box, dancing between your herb plants.

Your eyes stared off into the sunny day, willing you to wander down the busy streets below in search of him. You dreamed of him as your gaze settled on your neighbors yellow and orange marigolds. They reminded you of his hair and cheerful smile.

The man you loved had been gone for three days now. He had gone out to get you coffee and never returned. You missed your love and were worried sick about him.

Sure, you had only been dating for a few weeks now, but you knew you loved him the moment you met him. It was the type of situation where the word just fit. He was your sunshine: the light of your life and the warmth to your days. But you had been too scared to tell him that. Now, you were worried you’d never get the chance to.

It had been three sleepless nights, thousands of missed calls, and hundreds of hours out looking for him. But he was still gone without a trace.

You were woken from your daydream by a sound at the door: scratching. Oh by the six, had you summoned something with your made up ramblings?

You spun from the window, grabbing the first item that could be used as a weapon, which happened to be a large wooden spoon. You held your new sword before you, ready for whatever was going to tear your door down. Your breathing came in gasps and your hands shook as you listened to the soft scratching.

Every sound made you flinch. You felt certain that the front door would come flying towards you at any moment. Your heart beat thrummed in your ears.

Silence.

“HERE IT COMES here IT comes here it COMES here itcomeshereitcomes” the words tumbled through your mind faster than you could comprehend them.

But nothing happened.

The door stayed perfectly still. When a soft whimpering was heard from the other side.

It sounded like a puppy.

You willed your frozen feet to move, to help you find out what was outside that door. Your initial instinct was to believe it a daemon’s trick, something to lure you outside, but curiosity got the best of you.

One hand on the doorknob, the other holding your spoon up to strike, you whispered, “Please don’t kill me,” before you threw the front door open.

Staring ahead, you half expected to see some giant, red and black glowing beast, ready to tear you apart. Instead, there was nothing.

You looked down towards movement on the floor to see a golden colored puppy sitting at your feet.

The two of you stared at each other in confusion, before it barked at you with its shrill but adorable voice.

Your head snapped to the upheld spoon. “Sorry!” You apologized while lowering it. The puppy rose to all four feet, trying to measure up to you.

You picked up the small baby, holding it before you to examine it. “So…boy,” you confirmed. “Tell me, are you some great daemon in disguise that I summoned to bring about my own bloodied doom?” You looked the bundle of fluff in the eyes. He just whimpered and waged his tail at you.

“AWWWW! You’re too cute to be here to hurt me! Aren’t you little guy!” At the will of this squirming puppy, you became a baby talking, giddy, melty mess. If it was going to kill you, at least you’d die happy from seeing something so adorable. You carried the little pup inside, cradled in your arms.

The rest of your day was spent drenched in sunlight, warm away from your sorrow. You now had someone to care for.

You made some homemade food for your new friend and stitched up some makeshift toys. You would sprawl out on your living room rug and play with him. As the sun was setting, painting the bricks of your flat in orange, you realized he still didn’t have a name. You smiled, watching the puppy yawn, content to put the task off until tomorrow.

You cuddled into your bed, soft and safe from the world outside. Your new friend whimpered on the floor, until you relented, picking him up to cuddle into your blankets with you. He curled up in your arms and was soon snoring under your adoring gaze.

It felt like mere moments later when you awoke. Everything was so warm; from the morning sun streaming in, to your blankets, even the breath on your skin.

WAIT!

Breath on your skin?!

You looked down frantically. Were a soft puppy had once laid, now a blond haired handsome man lay, curled up against your chest.

Your cheeks burned red as you scuttled backwards. Your bed mate moaned in his sleep.

“PROMPTO!?!” You cried! Was he really here? Now? Was this a dream?

“Errmm, [Y/N]?” He blinked sleep filled eyes, trying to focus on you. “[Y/N]!!!!” He realized suddenly who you were, tackling you onto the other side of the bed.

He was so excited to see you! You had to close your eyes to the onslaught of kisses…very wet kisses.

“Prom! Where have you…what have you…” He pulled away from you, his sky blue eyes staring into yours. You couldn’t help but notice small, fluffy ears sticking out of his golden hair as his tongue lolled out his open mouth. “What happened?!”

“I missed you so much, [Y/N]! I swear I can explain everything!” He dove into a rambling story, a tail swishing in your sheets to his cadence.

Ears, tongue, a tail…had your puppy friend been Prompto?!

“Prom, Prompto, sunshine…PROM! Stop!” Finally you got him to quiet. “I don’t think it’s all worn off…” You picked up your phone to show him what he looked like in the camera. He stared obliviously happy at you as you took his picture.

You turned your phone around. It took him a moment to recognize his own reflection. When he did, he snatched the device from your hands.

“THAT’S ME?!” He cried as though it was your fault.

You just nodded, still in shock at the puppy boy in front of you. A blush bloomed again. You had slept with the puppy, you had rolled around on the floor with the puppy, you had seen the puppy’s…

He started to panic, still staring at your phone.

“You were that puppy!” The realization left your lips.

“YEAH! AND NOW I’M ME BUT I’M STILL PUPPY AND…” Prompto had at least triple your anxiety.

You took a moment to breath. Everything was crazy, but he was here now. That’s what mattered.

“Prom, what happened?” You hoped your forcibly calm voice would help him.

“There was this person and I bumped into them and they knew my name and then I saw them here and…”

He was going to give himself a panic attack at this rate! So, you stopped him in the best way you knew how.

You pressed your lips to his. You had missed these soft lips. You felt the tension in your body release as you tasted his wet lips, letting your souls click into place.

Gently, slowly, you pulled away. “What was that for?” Your sunshine asked breathlessly.

“True love’s kiss and all that jazz,” you replied softly, half hoping it had worked.

“Oh…better try again, then.” And in an instant, your lips were reunited.

You could feel the heat in your cheeks rise. You had never purposefully been in a bed with Prompto, much less like this before!

As heat was starting to build, he suddenly pulled away, his eyes wide. He jumped out of the bed and made for the bathroom.

“Prom? Honey, what’s wrong?” You called, concerned by his sudden departure.

“Gotta go!” He called, slamming the door.

You smiled at the strange scene.

“IT’S REALLY HARD TO GO WHEN YOU KEEP TRYING TO RAISE YOUR LEG!” He yelled from the other side of the door. Yeah, your Prompto was back.

The rest of the morning was filled with a slow breakfast and as much time in each other’s arms as you could have. Prompto kept trying to lick you instead of kiss you and he accidently did whine a few times.

Eventually, you pieced together his story. It sounded like a rival witch had been trying to cast this spell on you, when Prompto walked out of your apartment and right into it! You laughed with him but vowed to get revenge on whoever did this.

With a little bit of research and luck, you discovered that Prompto’s transformation would go away with time and “warm love”. He would need to constantly be around someone he loved, to take care of them and be cared for, until all the symptoms went away, or else he would transform back into a puppy!

“You poor thing! The shock of the transformation must have scared you so bad that you ran away!” You pet his head, trying to comfort him through understanding.

Prompto laughed nervously.

“What’s wrong, babe?”

“I guess…this means the cat’s out of the bag…heh or the dog.” He did a weak finger guns to you.

“What?”

“The ‘L’ word stuff! LOVE! Now you know…” He looked down sadly. “And I never got to surprise you or make it super romantic or something…”

You smiled, pulling him in close for a tight hug. “Yeah, but I don’t need that, because I have you.” You pulled away to hold is face in your hands. “Prompto, I love you and I never want to lose you again.”

His eyes sparked. “I love you, too, [Y/N]. Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.”

You held each other tight, wrapped in the strongest magic the world had ever known: Love.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I was a pretty cute puppy, wasn’t I?”

“Yes, you still are!”“I am not!” “You can still be very dog-like at times.”

“Well, you don’t need a leash to keep me around.” ;)

“What if I want one?”

“What?”

#ffxv #prompto x reader #prompto #prompto argentum #fanfiction #witch #witch au #transformation #puppy #final fantasy #final fantasy xv #fluff

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lewyn-martell · 5 years

Text

rules: answer 21 questions and tag 21 people you want to know better

tagged by @laurels-things thanks! you seem like such a nice person!

i. nickname?

lui or simply lu

ii. zodiac sign?

scorpio

iii. height?

165 cm... I'm not sure if I'm below average height on my country, but I believe brazillian people are pretty short. I may be the shortest amongst the boys in my class but I'm the tallest amongst the girls (except one girl who is nearly 180cm i stg) and as a nonbinary person this is a good place to be, i think.

iv. hogwarts house?

hufflepuff :D

v. last thing I googled?

amongst or among — i was unsure if i was using the word correctly sjbshsbshsvs

vi. fav musicians?

THE BEATLES (all 4 of them, but john lennon speaks to my soul in ways i can't describe... the way he makes me feel is something out of this world)

david bowie

elton john

brendon urie from panic! at the disco

the boys from green day

aaand i have mad respect for some soundtrack musicians bc i eat these up constantly. i like ramin djwadi, michael giacchino, ennio morricone, danny elfman, jonny greenwood (yeah i know he's from radiohead but i haven't listened a lot of stuff from this band yet and his phantom thread compositions are SUCH A BOP), hans zimmer and i've been also listening to the score of the shape of water by alexandre desplat (i like him, but jonny greenwood was ROBBED) so maybe that'll be a future fave. also i love a lot of composers for disney animated musicals but if i start i won't ever shut up. but i love almost all of the disney soundtracks.

i would say some time ago whoever wrote the songs for the smiths which i believe includes morrisey, but i recently found out he is extremely right wing and i don't think i can still like someone with these kinds of inhumane views on people&society... i'm disappointed

vii. song stuck in your head?

currently bad boy (the beatles' cover of the song), john's vocals make my pulse speed up since the first verse

viii. following?

2234 nfbdjdbjdsbjshs but i think most of the people i followed years ago are no longer active, i must go through the list and try to do a spring cleaning or something

ix. followers?

408... and like half of these i gained only the last two months or something... and i don't know why shdbsjbshsbs maybe it's the beatles thing

x. do you get asks?

i don't, but that's ok because i don't know if i have a lot of interesting things to say... but if you wanna get something off your chest, go ahead, i love to listen to/read drama 👀

xi. amount of sleep?

tricky question because it constantly changes, sometimes i don't sleep at all bc i have to leave the house at 5h20 in the morning to go to uni and i stay awake until late and when i realize i have to go shower already dhsbshbshsvshs and then when i come back i sleep for like... 10 hours or smth or i don't bc i got stuff to do and i accumulate sleep and then there will be a day of the week i'll just shut down for 15 hours. mostly i try to go to bed around 23h and wake up around 4h45, so that makes it almost 6 hours .

xii. lucky number?

never noticed any particular number that favors me

xiii. what are you wearing?

t-shirt, shorts, it's hot as hell here

xiv. dream job?

don't have one, just want one that won't consume me so i have time to do stuff i'm actually interested in

xv. dream trip?

also don't have one

xvi. instruments?

flute, some percussion, some guitar, i wish i had actually studied music besides the basic stuff... i still wanna learn to properly play something and not just beat some bongos during carnival

xvii. languages?

portuguese, english, bit of spanish only cause of the similarities with portuguese and 4 years of classes in middle school...but still, can't speak or write, only read and listen

xviii. favorite songs?

oh my god... ok...

i was making this in list format but it got way too big... it's still big i'm sorry

the beatles: i want you (she's so heavy), strawberry fields forever, across the universe, oh! darling, and your bird can sing, tomorrow never knows, mother nature's son, yer blues, golden slumbers, i am the walrus, i me mine, long tall sally (little richard cover), you can't do that, what you're doing, ticket to ride, rain, eleanor rigby, happiness is a warm gun, i'm so tired, blue jay way, for you blue, in my life, anna go to him (cover).

david bowie: time, cygnet committee, unwashed and somewhat slightly dazed, tvc15, life on mars, young americans, queen bitch

panic! at the disco: that green gentleman, she had the world, build god then we'll talk, nearly witches, emperor's new clothes, bittersweet, nine in the afternoon, northern downpour, behind the sea, stall me, the piano knows something i don't know

green day: jesus of suburbia, brutal love, hitchin a ride, blood sex and booze, give me novacaine, whatsername, last night on earth

the smiths: this charming man, panic, how soon is now

elton john: goodbye yellow brick road, bennie and the jets, rocket man

queen: somebody to love, killer queen

strawberry swing - coldplay

welcome home - radical face

joão e maria - chico buarque

barbara rose - jonny greenwood

bachianas brasileiras no 5 - heitor villa-lobos

le festin - michael giacchino, camille

rains of castamere - ramin djwadi

unchained melody - a lot of versions from a lot of artists

another day - paul mccartney

meu erro - paralamas do sucesso

flor de lis - djavan

love the way you lie - rihanna&eminem

man! i feel like a woman - shania twain

xix. random fact?

well, it's not really a fact i think... i'm moving (again) but this time is to my father's house because my mum is moving to the south of the country... and i'm so fucking scared because we aren't close at all (i met him when i was 14) i mean, he seems nice enough, all of our interactions have been mostly pleasant but his wife (and probably he himself too) is a bit conservative in the brazillian traditional white family way (she's white cause she's a southern. i know yall think all latinos are poc,,,, but that's not true) but then again, that's something i had to live with all my life so i can handle casual homophobia and racism and sexism... but it will still be so weird cause i never been away from my mum too long (i'm... a momma's boy). i'm going next week i think, wish me luck.... (also he's got two dogs who won't leave me the fuck alone, i get out of the shower and they drool all over me, they know i'm a beta so they keep getting on top of me and since they're HUGE and i'm such a weakling i can't even get them off me and i can't scold them with a strong voice, i just can't do it... i mean, don't get me wrong i like them... but... they like me way too much and keep making me dirty.. i hate being dirty)

xx. aesthetic?

farm aesthetic..... idealistic farm aesthetic habshabaha like marie antoinette's pettit chateau. also the whole pretty odd aesthetic and strawberry swing by coldplay aesthetic

i'm tagging (probably less than 21 ppl) @zutaralesbian @ekscelsior @benstolemyhearty @lannistermartell @tyrionlannysters @avatars-legend @cerseiofhouselannister @falconsredwing @gendryayaya @glittering-snowfall @agirlandabeast @bugband @alittlebigpotato @vairemelde @charmeilon @jawn-lemon @antilennon @im-only-sweeping @ssimsass

i hope tumblr actually notifies you guys, i had problems with the last one...

#nfr #abt me #long post

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cherubsoda · 5 years

Text

sorry this is so late and technically,,,i’m breaking the rules but,, im booboo the fool

i just wanted to thank @robotarmjokes for setting this event up and @dokiquents and @heartstringsymphonies for tagging me!

What got you into self inserting? Was it something you’ve always done, or something you were inspired to do?

From a pretty young age i would kinda insert myself in the place of the main protagonist (the most prominent instances i can think of would be haruhi from ohshc or tohru from fruits basket ^^; i kinned hard) or i’d envision myself as a pokemon trainer or something but i think everyone did at one point ajhfdegl

i never really knew self shipping was a thing, i was always like “lmao what if...” and would read reader insert fics but i really got into self inserting/shipping in middle school when my friend mentioned it one day over a phone call. She was like “i think you and __ would be good together” or “i kinda see you with __...”; after that, our convos went from 3 minute talks to 2-3 hours :0!

At that time, I did it for fun but now i definetly use it to cope and such and ngl i have no idea where id be without this sort of self love and indulgence! Self shipping brought me closer to my best friend and like wow thats kinda dorky but I couldn’t be happier ♡ฅ(ᐤˊ꒳ฅˋᐤ♪) I didn’t know there was a whole community dedicated to this though, and i mean, i haven’t experienced anything horrible yet so yknow.

For some of us, aesthetic is key. Do you have a theme or an aesthetic for your self insert content

Aesthetically, my f/os kinda have the same traits bc i have a type,, i hope this isnt breaking the rules bc i kinda am talking about my f/os but many times my f/os are associated with the color red and i think that’s why i like red so much now? So, the moodboards i make usually include the color red, and i associate myself/self insert with pink or red (blue irl);

i honestly enjoy the short/tall/big/small trope and i typically play the uwu sweet, mary-sue s/o and try to help the sad boi characters bc,, real pisces hours (sunshine gf and goth bf). BUT i love to make my s/i a fucking,,, op motherfucker bc man,, irl me sucks ass!!! give me godlike powers and lemme ride that dick!!!

im a huge angst monster though my friend admitted that i made her cry a few times when i sent her headcanons/short writings or over call like sorry but also heehee

What’s your favourite way of self inserting? Do you like to write, or draw, or make content via other means?

every so often, i’ll make moodboards! i enjoy drawing but i feel like im limited and rarely post my art bc i’m too anxious to show my art, plus they dont get notes so im like ok nevermind sasdfjkag

i actually have a few sideblogs dedicated to headcanons that i write but they're on (probably) permanent hiatus bc i got lazy, busy, and i didn’t feel like my writing was up to par,, you can go check them out though: @org13reactions was my kh blog and @megatwunk was supposed to be a ffvii/xv blog lmao theres only like 1 thing on it though sorry yall

other than that, my friend and i can talk for hours almost every night about our f/os and story ideas so yeehaw. i guess thats just roleplaying HHAEGAFA

Friends are very important. Have you made any friends within the community?

ngl im pretty antisocial within this community and im really anxious to interact with other people like i try to but,, idk i dont wanna bother anyone!

the person i feel the most comfortable with is my friend that introduced me to self shipping,

im not very close to anyone in the community but again!!! @dokiquents and @heartstringsymphonies have been really kind to me and ill talk to momo every so often and theyre super sweet and chill! and i joined @cryptidchaos‘ self ship discord when i first entered this community! so thanks so much to yall!

i’d love to talk to more people but i know we’re all anxious mfs on this site so it’s ok and i love yall bc i can see you in my notifications :’D

#self insert positivity day 3 #Self Insert #self ship #self ship community #cherub cheeps

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thefarrons · 6 years

Text

Everything right with XIII

With opinions so mixed on XIII either going from one extreme to the other, those being either "XIII was the best game ever and has no issues" or "It was the worst game ever and a disgrace to the franchise!" I thought it would be interesting if I (someone who legitimately enjoyed the game and noticed dozens of problems in my over 100hrs of playtime) did a (almost) unbiased look at the game and go over everything wrong and right with XIII as well as give opinions on what could be improved or changed in a future port.

for the sake of time and page space im going to be breaking this up into two separate posts. this first one is going to be on everything right with the game.

\*EVERYTHING GOOD WITH XIII\*

\*STORY AND FLUIDITY\*

with XV coming and showing us just how much we take game narratives for granted XIII presents it's on-screen narrative particularly well. the games narrative flows pretty well as relevant and exciting cutscenes happen every half and hour or so always giving the player something to look forward to while playing. You never go for long stretches of playtime without something happening in the story unlike XV (don't worry im not going to just bash XV) and most chapters end in a cliffhanger like fashion giving incentive to players to keep playing to see what happens next.

The datalog is another debatable feature of the game but one that ultimately does more good then bad. say you missed a term, character's name or location in a cutscene? no problem cause the game essentially gives you an in game glossary to scroll through giving you all the data you need to keep up with or lean about the games plot or world. Now this does come with a downside "yes" but that'll be explained later.

"no need for a wiki search now"

the game also has brief chapter summaries that can be read every time you load up the game. Say you last played a week ago and are a bit rusty on what happened last. No problem as you can now just read a quick paragraph and get all caught up.

the ending to the game is also pretty sound as conflicts brought up earlier are resolved and although there are two sequels afterwards you don't feel obligated to play them as the ending here is ultimately satisfying.

"no need for a sequel here"

\*PLOT AND CHARACTERS\*

Im not going to delve super deep into either of the two as both topics could easily take up an essay each individually.

The plot of XIII is overall messy. While you certainly don't get the "obviously unfinished" vibe like you do with XV you also can't help but feel there was a lot left on the cutting room floor for XIII. The standard plot of XIII is alright more or less. the main conflict of XIII is fairly explained well. a group of (mostly) strangers are branded enemies of their home and have to find a way to complete their "focus" or suffer either eternal sleep or a zombified existence. The main plot of the game is explained as the characters do take the time to explain specific concepts and terms so the player just watching the cutscenes and not reading the datalog can stay up to speed with the story. XIII however looses it's players with it's finer details or abstract details never being explained well or never explained at all but more on this later.

tldr: the OVERALL plot of the story isn't too hard to follow but the finer details of the story are muddled and incoherent

The cast of XIII however is easily one of the two best reasons to play the game. The main party of XIII is a bunch of mostly strangers who have been thrown together and have to cooperate with one another or die. while the main story of the game can be a bit of a head scratch it's characters make up for it with their interactions with one another. The main party has a lot of problems with each other but also problems with themselves and the fun of being with this party is seeing when one confronts another, how they react and what change this causes. it's satisfying when they finally accept one another as they've actually grown with one another so when they finally start throwing some banter in the second half it feels earned as you the player knows first hand knows what these characters have been through together.

"the game has great character arc's"

\*ART DESIGN & MUSIC\*

XIII is a linear game and by this time you and your grandmother knows about it however just because the lvl design itself sucks doesn't automatically equate to "boring". Although linear XIII easily boasts some of the most impressive areas in backdrops in the series in terms of visually alone. every "hallway" you travel is visually polished to the T and always relevant to the main story at hand. aside from two particular areas most usually aren't very long and before you know it your on to the next location. While it's unfortunate you can't "explore" much you can totally get a sense for what type of world the game is trying to convey to you. From the SI-FI bridges and highways on cocoon to the wilderness of pulse below you feel like your in another world especially with the fantastic ost from Masashi Hamauzu.

"I'll take this any day over an empty open world"

all and all while I definitely understand why XIII's linearity can be disappointing especially with what I just wrote above I still don't see why it's art design and music can't make up for that and still take you to another world.

\*THE BATTLE SYSTEM\*

"this is how a paradigm deck should look"

arguably the best the best thing to come out of XIII and the franchise in general. The paradigm system is a great combination of gambits from XII and standard ATB. XII while deep got a lot of flack for its lean towards set ups rather than active play. XIII takes from the system it built while overall streamlining it and merged it with standard turn based combat. XIII requires players to prepare for battle by setting up strategies (paradigms) outside combat and then executing them during. It's a system easily rewards your ability to plan beforehand and your speed and timing once in battle. players are *incentivized* to play ASAP for a star rating. the quicker you are the more stars you get which gets you better loot for upgrading or selling.

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"press x to win huh?

one of the more controversial topics with XIII are it's level caps and while they certainly are a detriment in the long run they actually serve a good purpose during a first time playthrough. In a lot of rpg's in general when a player is faced with a boss or enemy they can't beat they simply grind to overpower the enemy through sheer stats and numbers rather than actually beating them with skills or techniques. XIII mitigates this issue by limiting how much grinding the player can do in one given chapter. This in turn forces the player to lean the battle system and use the tools at their disposal to overcome whatever challenge the player faces.

"It's so pretty tho..."

\*POST GAME CONTENT\*

"The place where I spent 100hrs"

XIII's post game content is a hard thing to sell overall. It's a post game that definitely requires how much the player enjoys the battle system or the characters. XIII has 64 overall missions to complete and each one of them is an interesting battle to overcome. doing these missions eventually unlock you Chocoboes to ride across the map and discover other areas of grand pulse. there's a survival like mode called "titans trials" in which players can compete in multiple lvls of pre set battles in which the player can net goods and rewards. there's also a couple hidden bosses hidden in a few select locations. The biggest downside to all this is that it's all one type of side content so the game is really banking hard that you fully know and love combat at that point and if you do then you easily have an extra 60 or so hrs added to your playtime.

do you agree with what i wrote? please sound off below.

but yeah this is everything I think XIII does right. Thanks for reading all the way and I plan to also make a twin post about everything WRONG with the game. I actually really like this game but it has a lot of problems and I intend to break down all of them.

#ffxiii #lightning farron #lightning returns #lightning claire farron #hope estheim #claire farron #oerba yun fang #ff13 lightning

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moonraccoon-exe · 5 years

Note

Hopefully tumblr doesnt eat this p.1 again! Its been so long since Ive dropped by and said hello to one of my favorite people so hello Coon! I feel like Ive been so busy I dont have time to drop bye and say hello these days How are you? Are you doing well? I hope you are bc you deserve so much happiness. I also wanted to do a status update on the fact that Im now writing again! I took a longer break than I thought I would but hey Im now more motivated than ever so I guess it all worked out ^^

I AM

A HORRIBLE, ULTIMATELY TERRIBLE RACCOON.

JAZ.

IT’S BEEN SO LONG SINCE YOU LAST DROPPED THIS IN MY INBOX AND I’M JUST REPLYING NOW.

AND YOU WANNA KNOW WHY? IT’S NOT EVEN THAT I DIDN’T HAVE TIME.

I JUST. I PUT THIS IN MY DRAFTS SO THAT THE SECOND ASK, THE BIT IN THE IMAGE, WOULD BE SAFE EVEN IF DELETED FROM THE COMPUTER (LIKE IT HAPPENED TO MY OTHER ASKS)

AND SINCE THEN I DIDN’T BOTHER GOING TO MY DRAFTS.

AND I FORGOT THIS WAS HERE.

JAZ.

JAZ OMG

JAZ PLEASE HIT ME WITH A NEWSPAPER I’M A HORRIBLE CREATURE HOW IN THE W O R L D COULD I FORGET TO REPLY TO YOU!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

*PUNCHES THROUGH THE WALL*

*SHRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKK*

*EXPLODES*

ALKSJDALKFJGADLKGJAGLKAGJAD

Okay you let me add a keep reading right here aaah ;A;

Oh my god, Jaz….Jaz I’m so sorry, I don’t even know where to start apologizing, I’m so sorry. I honestly forgot and that’s the worst part. If I had been busy for real I would have had an excuse at least, but the truth was just that; I put this in my drafts and then forgot it was there. I rarely check my drafts because that’s where I put stuff that I want to reblog at some point but don’t know when because it’s not FFXV related so I just wait until I’m done with the XV reblogs but I never am, and I just assumed everything in drafts was stuff to reblog, I totally forgot there was an ask here that I hadn’t replied to and that it was yours, I’m so sorry, so, so, so sorry, Jaz… :(

I don’t offer an excuse and if you’re upset you have all the rights to be, I understand. Jesus, it’s been a while since Ir eplied this and I mean, there are asks in my inbox that are like a year old but those are prompts or requests and it’s fine, but yours was a personal and it’s been so long for me to answer to it aklsdjalkgjadklgja omg Jaz I’m so sorry….

I’m sorry, Jaz, very sincerely. Zomg…I’m sorry OTL

Well. Still answering ahah ;w;

HEWWO JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Akjdlsafdgalkfjaklhj hhhnnnngnggg. HEWWO JAZ!!! ;w; I’m sorry OTL

Don’t worry about being busy. Real life is already super busy as it is and then we get here and it can get sort of ‘busy’ in its own non-serious way too! I hope that whatever’s been keeping you /kept you busy has given you a break from time to time and that it’s something you enjoy.

I’m doing well! A little ‘busy’ in the non-serious way trying to nail down all my PMs and asks (I’ve lately had a quite excited anon flooding me ahahahah! It’s lovely but keeps me super busy because each I answer gets drowned by another incoming 5 ;w;) and the reblogs and the fics. I’m having funa nd take my breaks to make it enjoyable and not turn it into something I dislike, but hence it goes slower. And out of Tumblr I’m doing okay too!

How have you been, dear Jaz? Besides WAITING FOR MY ASK OTLHave yuo been alright? And happy? I wonder what else you’ve been up to since you last wrote to me!! Hoping sincerely that it’s been okay with you too because you too deserve SO MUCH HAPPINES LIKE LOADS OF IT!!!!!!! You’re such a nice and good person that does no harm to others, you deserve all em happy things and events. U HAVE ALL IT GOOD KARMA, MY FRIEND!!!

GASPS

YOU’VE BEEN WRITING AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JAZ, THAT’S PHENOMENAL! THAT’S ABOSLUTELY WONDERFUL, AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, JAZ, I’M SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY FOR YOU AND ABOUT IT, I’M SO HAPPY AND SO PROUD TO KNOW THAT YOU’VE TAKEN UP ON SOMETHING SO BEAUTIFUL LIKE WRITING, AND MORE THAN TAKING UP, RETAKING BECAUSE IT MEANS YOU USED TO ENJOY IT, LEFT IT FOR SOME REASON, AND YOU RETOOK IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ

*SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM*

*EXPLODES*

Jaz, that’s WONDERFUL NEWS!!!! Omg buddy that’s fantastic, you have no idea how happy it makes me when someone says they’ve taken up/retaking a form of art. It’s so beautiful and so exciting, and you’re a friend so that adds a lot to the hype!! Jaz, that’s AMAZING! CONGRATS, BUDDY, I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!! ( ˙꒳˙ )

It’s okay that you took a longer break than you had first expected. Be it because you were busy or just lacking the motivation, it’s okay! What matters is that you went back to it and you must have felt so refreshed and welcomed back. The warmest welcoming is the one given after a long wait (but thankfully it wasn’t THAT long either!!). Plus, you took all the time that you needed to get back to it so it means you’re not forcing a single bit of it and that’s PHENOMENAL!!

I’m so happy to know that you’re motivated now, Jaz, all of this is honestly SO GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY :’3 AKLSJDLAKDGJADLKGJAGLKAJGA AAAAAAAHHHHHH, I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!

I guess the first time you sent the first part you were telling me what you were writing, so I don’t know for sure what you meant with hoping that one day I can read ‘it’, but I’d love to! I’m very slow at reading things because of the massive updates I do to my fics, but I think that I’d love to. Is it XV related? Original content? I’d get lost if it’s from something that I don’t know, but I can still try if you want me to

Aaah, thank you for asking about the laptop! Lamentably I’m nowhere close to getting a new one. They’re pretty expensive. I’m fine with one of the cheapest because all I want is basic internet access and MS Word lmao, but they’re still quite a price number and I have no job >

I thought about using the money that I’ve saved up from my kofis, but…to be honest, I’m being consciously selfish there, because I don’t want to waste my kofi money in ¼ of the price of the laptop… ;n; I want the kofi money to be mine for games or books, it’s money I’ve earned from doing what I love and I wanted it to go to selfish things, but I’m still debating with myself as to maybe having to put it for the laptop ahaha ;w;

Again, don’t feel bad for being busy!! Real life stuff is more important, and Tumblr isn’t going anywhere (not without a long time warning that we’ve never had, thankfully!), so don’t you stress. I for sure am going nowhere, so you take the time that you need and want :3

And don’t say you’re ‘not keeping me for longer’, because it’s not like you’re taking my time by force, dear Jaz!! You texting to me is a kind gift to me so you’re not taking any time off me, you’re taking YOUR time!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, JAZ, I’VE MISSED YOU TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*sQUEEZES U*

Sweet precious wonderful dear Jaz, thank you soooooooooooooooo LIKE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SO SO SO SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH FOR DROPPING BY TO SAY HELLO AND SHARE ALL OF THIS WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh, I don’t even know where to start, I’m sorry for taking so long, and thank you immensely for dropping by, my friend!! ;A;

Thank you for the time you dedicated to writing to me and the one to read me. It sounds like you’ve been very busy and I really appreciate that you’ve taken some time to write to me, you have no idea :’(

Thank you for updating me on what you’ve been up to, and thank you for sharing with me that you’ve retaken your writing!! Those news made me so happy, and re reading still makes me feel shivers out of the joy askldjfdaklgjaklgjadglkj

Thank you for being as kind and as gentle as you always are with me. You’re so precious and I hope you know that. You’re always so nice and patient and so good with me, I don’t know how to express it enough or how to let you know or how to thank you properly :’3 Thank you so much for being the sweet and warm creature that you are, Jaz. You’re truly phenomenal and I’m very happy that you exist. The world can very easily wear me out, and it’s creatures like you that relieve it off my shoulders. Thank you

I’ve missed you SO MUCH TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Every time I re fave both your artworks I think about you and I was wondering what you were doing and if you were okay. And there I was, forgetting that it was me who never replied... :’D Really, seriously, I’m so sorry, Jaz, I didn’t mean to take this long... OTL

I hope that you’ve been okay, Jaz! Have you been okay and doing better? How’s the writing going? I’m eager to hear about you again, buddy!! :3

I WUV U TOO, JAAAAAAAAAAZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALKSDJAKLGDJDAKLGJDAGLKDAJ AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH, LOTS OF HUGS FOR MAH BUDDY JAZ!! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ

Dear Jaz, I hope you’re having a FANTASTIC weekend, and do receive lots of raccoonie hugs and sparkles!! HUGZ

#sashinia2000 #coonreplies

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e8luhs · 6 years

Text

WOKE UP NEW.

LISTEN ON SPOTIFY

TRACKLIST & ANNOTATIONS UNDER THE CUT! (last edited 03.16.19)

I. ARE YOU SATISFIED? / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

cause it’s my problem if i want to pack up and run away it’s my business if i feel the need to smoke and drink and swear it’s my problem, it’s my problem if i feel the need to hide and it’s my problem if i have no friends and feel i want to die

II. LIFESPAN / VAULTS

oh, you took what you wanted to take and yet you never wanted nothing from me oh, you took what you wanted to take and yet you never wanted nothing from me

III. RAIN IN SOHO / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

no promise sweeter than a blood pact nothing harder to go through than a vanishing act no morning colder than the first frost no friends close than the ones we've lost

IV. LEMON GLOW / BEACH HOUSE

read my fortune too, tell me what you see cross it like a t it's all the same to me this game i play, i do it every day i promise I'll be fine, bear it every time

V. SATELLITE MIND / METRIC

i’m not suicidal i just can't get out of bed i drift into a deep fog lost where i forgot to hold it i can feel you most when i'm alone i can feel your ghost when i'm alone

VI. PEDESTRIAN AT BEST / COURTNEY BARNETT

my internal monologue is saturated analog it's scratched and drifting, i've become attached to the idea it's all a shifting dream, bittersweet philosophy i've got no idea how I even got here i'm resentful, I'm having an existential time crisis want bliss, daylight savings won't fix this mess under-worked and over-sexed, i must express my disinterest the rats are back inside my head, what would freud have said?

VII. BORN TO LOSE / SLEIGH BELLS

took a shot to the head in the back near the crib such a legend now, you were born to lose ‘cause i know that the pain keeps you close to the flame you know everything, you were born to lose

VIII. STICKS AND STONES / THE PIERCES

sticks and stones will break your bones and leave you lying in the mud but you get scared when we're alone, like i might suck your blood and i could tell you a witch's spell but it just might blow your top and you start to run just as I'm having fun and it's awfully hard to stop, it's awfully hard to stop

IX. BLACK OUT DAYS / PHANTOGRAM

speak in tongues i don't even recognize your face mirror on the wall tell me all the ways to stay away

X. THE OUTSIDER / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

i look myself in the face and whisper "i'm in the wrong place" is there more to lose than gain if i go on my own again? (on my own again)

XI. SPELLBOUND / SIOUXSIE AND THE BANSHEES

following the footsteps of a rag doll dance we are entranced spellbound

XII. ARTIFICIAL NOCTURNE / METRIC

i’m just as fucked up as they say i can't fake the daytime i found an entrance to escape into the dark got false lights for the sun it's an artificial nocturne an outsider's escape for a broken heart

XIII. AUTOCLAVE / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

i am this great, unstable mass of blood and foam and no emotion that's worth having could call my heart its home my heart's an autoclave my heart's an autoclave

XIV. BAD DREAMS / PHANTOGRAM

bad things never neglect me i'm just a scene in a movie bad thoughts never arrest me i'm just a flash in a memory

XV. BEAT (HEALTH, LIFE, AND FIRE) / THAO & THE GET DOWN STAY DOWN

and oh my gunpowder and with emergency i must battle without her she is surely killing me

XVI. EVERY TEAR DISAPPEARS / ST. VINCENT

oh, the more that i struggle i'm deeper in the pit if i can show a hand then i can show a fist call the twenty-first century, tell her “give us a break”

XVII. FIREWORKS / MITSKI

one morning this sadness will fossilize and i will forget how to cry i'll keep going to work and you won't see a change save, perhaps, a slight gray in my eye

XVIII. UNICORN TOLERANCE / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

and when the clouds do clear away get a momentary chance to see the thing i've been trying to beat to death the soft creature that i used to be the better animal i used to be

XIX. GROW UP AND BLOW AWAY / METRIC

if this is the life why does it feel so good to die today? blue to gray grow up and blow away

XX. NUMB / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

i feel numb most of the time lower i get, the higher i'll climb and i will wonder why i got dark only to shine looking for the golden life oh, it's a reasonable sacrifice

XXI. AMERICAN DREAM / EMILY HAINES & THE SOFT SKELETON

grab your clothes and head to the doorway if you dance out, no one complains find the place where you can be boring where you won't need to explain that you're sick in the head, and you wish you were dead or at least instead of sleeping here you prefer your own bed, come on you just suck at self-preservation versus someone else's pain

XXII. WEAR BLACK / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

wear black when it's light outside wear black when there's no light wear black following the left hand path wear black but i get right

XXIII. SPAT OUT SPIT / LADY LAMB

was i born wild? have i been asleep this whole damn time, dreaming up a life? will i awake to find that I'm deep in the woods? and i'm snarling on all fours

XXIV. MEDULLA OBLONGATA / BUKE & GASE

since i left you with these broken fingers broken tongue broken ears from not listening false hopes and happiness in the barrel of my god

XXV. PARIS IS BURNING / ST. VINCENT

they say, “i’m on your side when nobody is, 'cause nobody is come sit right here and sleep while i slip poison in your ear”

XXVI. IN THE CRATERS ON THE MOON / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

if the strain proves too much give up right away if the light hurts your eyes stay in your room all day

XXVII. GETAWAY / MOTHER MOTHER

we gotta get away from it all we gotta get away from everything we've grown to know we gotta get gone like on a holiday, but for longer away from all the silly things that haunt us

XXVIII. YOUR FACE LEFT BEFORE YOU / BUKE & GASE

breaking down my brick wall brain nothing worse than everything to gain too bad it's not my turn you've got witches to burn

XXIX. FUNERAL PYRE / PHANTOGRAM

my funeral pyre my ship of fire as it sinks, i rise all i see is your eyes

XXX. HOLLY / SLEIGH BELLS

wasted all day killing all the capulets!

XXXI. GUILTY / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

oh i’m a guilty one, and know what i have done yeah, i'm a troubled one, and i won't be forgiven

XXXII. KILLER / PHOEBE BRIDGERS

can the killer in me tame the fire in you? is there nothing left to do for us? i am sick of the chase, but i'm hungry for blood and there's nothing i can do

XXXIII. TIPTOE / THE ANTLERS

[instrumental]

XXXIV. GOODBYE, MY DANISH SWEETHEART / MITSKI

now i lay as i study a blank wall would you spare me your voice if i call? ‘cause you waited and watered my heart till it grew you just grew a little smarter too

XXXV. HERMIT THE FROG / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

yeah i feel i’m watered down whenever he's around i put on the crown of clowns and melt slowly to the ground

XXXVI. LAST WORDS OF A SHOOTING STAR / MITSKI

you wouldn't leave till we loved in the morning you'd learned from movies how love ought to be and you'd say you love me and look in my eyes but i know through mine you were looking in yours

XXXVII. 9TH PAWN / OHO

i'm the 9th pawn of the chessboard take it apart, take it along, dark and light squares i'm the thirteenth labor of Hercules give it a try or give it up give it up to me

XXXVIII. HUMPTY / MITSKI

i'll live in the bathtub surrounded by tiles all so square and so steady i will die in their cool, cool arms

XXXIX. I FIRE MYSELF / MARY TIMONY

a demon lured me to his bed where i fell into a poison sleep i dreamed of a river of ants inside me and they were sad and started to bleed

XL. THE POINT OF IT ALL / AMANDA PALMER

“but no one can stare at the wall as good as you, my baby-doll and you're aces for coming along you're almost human, after all and you're learning that just 'cause they call themselves friends doesn't mean they'll call...” they made the comment in jest but you've got the needle i guess that's the point of it all

XLI. SQUARE / MITSKI

your room was square i once noticed from there in your bed, as you slept and i held my breath everything had its own place and i wondered; what space would i take, in the order you kept?

XLII. SAVIOR / ST VINCENT

adore you to the grave and farther honey, i can't be your martyr maybe it's just human nature but honey, i can't be your savior

XLIII. VALLEY OF THE DOLLS / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

in the valley of the dolls, we sleep got a hole inside of me living with identities that do not belong to me in my life, i got this far now i’m ready for the last hoorah dying like a shooting star in the valley

XLIV. STATUETTE / EMILY HAINES & THE SOFT SKELETON

with a feather in your cap another jewel in your crown another notch in your belt you’re the captain at the helm the statuette on your shelf says you’re better than me better than me

XLV. HAVE TO EXPLODE / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

the stage is set, someone's going to do something someone else will regret i speak in smoke signals and you answer in code the fuse will have to run out sometime something here will eventually have to explode, have to explode

XLVI. THE BOX SONG / AMANDA PALMER

and you were sure that you could keep it all off in a tower where there’d always be space and you were sure that if you read it all you would eventually come across your own name

XLVII. I DON’T SMOKE / MITSKI

if you need to be mean, be mean to me i can take it and put it inside of me if your hands need to break more than trinkets in your room you can lean on my arm as you break my heart

XLVIII. ICICLES / THE SCARY JOKES

but as for me, i can only be forgiven if im givin myself up to you on a silver serving tray must i bare myself to the stabbing of your knife and gnashing teeth, while our lovely company appears so entertained? ah yes, good etiquette demands i remain soft and accessible in the face of my own ending so i will try to be discreet; through my full-blown implosion, i’ll stay golden and retreat into my sweetest fantasy

XLIX. CODES AND KEYS / DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE

when you scream, “love you, see”, like a child throwing stones at the sky when they fall back to earth as minor chords of major works separate rooms of single life we are one we are alive

L. WASHING MACHINE HEART / MITSKI

baby, though i've closed my eyes i know who you pretend i am i know who you pretend i am

LI. THE KILLING TYPE / AMANDA PALMER

i couldn't kill to get you back and i've officially been asked i couldn't kill to save a life i'd rather a die a peaceful piece of shit-bait shame-filled coward, thanks

LII. HAVE IT OUT / MOTHER MOTHER

i have it out, i have it out, with myself, with myself, i have it out it's gonna get ugly it's gonna get messy it's gonna be world war iii of myself

LIII. CATABOLIC SEED / THE SCARY JOKES

oh i made a silly mistake (what'd you do?) i've given up more than i can take (uh oh!) and left hollows in my wake my structure's compromised but you still batter at all my fault lines i can't run, i can't hide, but you can't say i didn't try

LIV. DOPPELGANGER / THE ANTLERS

and now's he howling, but i'm muted by the horror how he's everywhere and waiting now he's just around the corner

LV. LEFT ALONE / FIONA APPLE

and now i'm hard, too hard to know i don't cry when i'm sad anymore, no no tears calcify in my tummy, fears coincide with the tow how can i ask anyone to love me when all i do is beg to be left alone?

LVI. HEEL TURN 2 / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

spend too much of my life now trying to play fair throw my better self overboard shoot at him when he comes up for air come unhinged get revenge i don't want to die in here i don't want to die in here

LVII. NOT ABOUT LOVE / FIONA APPLE

conversation once colored by esteem became dialogue as a diagram of a play for blood took a vacation, my palate got clean now i could taste your agenda while you're spitting your cud

LVIII. SEVENTEEN / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

oh, you were embarrassed of me 'cause i used my tongue freely bet you wish i couldn't speak 'cause when i do, you know i tell you why you appear weak

LIX. YOUR WOMAN / WHITE TOWN

now i know your heart, i know your mind, you don't even know you're being unkind, so much for all your high brow marxist ways, just use me up and then you walk away boy, you can't play me that way

LX. DEADBODY / MIYA FOLICK

i need you to know i'm not powerless my strength lies within my gentleness and i'm already hurt so now i don't have to hide and i hold all the heads of my brothers and my sisters high

LXI. YOUR DOG / SOCCER MOMMY

i'm not a prop for you to use when you're lonely or confused i want a love that lets me breathe i've been choking on your leash

LXII. RIPE / SCREAMING FEMALES

i built this game to play and to pretend you are a dark machine and i'm a cog when engines crack, when fuel lines break off i'll save your bits and let your motor rot

LXIII. WINDOW / FIONA APPLE

i was staring out the window the whole time he was talking to me it was a filthy pane of glass i couldn't get a clear view and as he went on and on it wasn't the outside world i could see just the filthy pane that i was looking through

LXIV. BLUE TRASH MATTRESS FIRE / SLEIGH BELLS

i'll do it, i'll jump not for kicks, not for fun but because this shit is too much it's fucking me up enough is enough, enough is enough!

LXV. BITE THE HAND / BOYGENIUS

who do you think you are? who do you think i am? what do you wanna say? what do you think will change? maybe i'm afraid of you maybe i'm afraid of you

LXVI. VENGEANCE / HOT SUGAR

[instrumental]

LXVII. EYES ON FIRE / BLUE FOUNDATION

i'm taking it slow feeding my flame shuffling the cards of your game and just in time, in the right place suddenly i will play my ace

LXVIII. NO CHILDREN / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

and i hope when you think of me years down the line you can't find one good thing to say and i'd hope that if i found the strength to walk out you'd stay the hell out of my way

LXIX. FUCK WAS I / JENNY OWEN YOUNGS

love grows in me like a tumor parasite bent on devouring its host i’m developing my sense of humor till i can laugh at my heart between your teeth till i can laugh at my face beneath your feet

LXX. SERPENTS / SHARON VAN ETTEN

serpents in my mind, i am searching for your crimes everything changes in time you'll stay frozen in time collaging girls, controlling minds you hold the mirror well to everybody else

LXXI. IF YOU FEEL BETTER / EMILY AUTUMN

if you feel better telling me i'm cruel saying i'm unfeeling i don't mind if it's necessary, if it helps you out crying that i'm heartless it's alright

LXXII. THE GOOD THAT WON’T COME OUT / RILO KILEY

i do this thing where i think i'm real sick but i won't go to the doctor to find out about it 'cause they make you stand real still in a real small place as they chartup your insides and put them on display they'd see all of it, all of me, all of it

LXXIII. THE BODY IS A BLADE / JAPANESE BREAKFAST

try your best to slowly withdraw from the darkest impulses of your heart try your best to feel and receive your body is blade that cuts a path from day to day

LXXIV. GET LONELY / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

and i will go downtown, stand in the shadows of the buildings and button up my coat, trying to stay strong, spirit willing and i will come back home, maybe call some friends maybe paint some pictures it all depends and i will get lonely, and gasp for air and look up at the high windows, and see your face up there

LXXV. MOTION SICKNESS / PHOEBE BRIDGERS

i hate you for what you did and i miss you like a little kid i faked it every time but that's alright i can hardly feel anything i hardly feel anything at all

LXXVI. EMPTY / METRIC

sickness was fixing me some coughed out my heart in the last stall now that the damage is done i never miss it at all

LXXVII. TINDER / ORIGAMIBRO

[instrumental]

LXXVIII. REMEMBER MY NAME / MITSKI

'cause i need somebody to remember my name after all that i can do for them is done i need someone to remember me

LXXIX. THE EXECUTION OF ALL THINGS / RILO KILEY

soldiers come quickly, i feel the earth beneath my feet i'm feeling badly, but it's not an attempt at decency and if you're well off, well then i'm happy some for you but i'd rather not celebrate my defeat and humiliation here with you

LXXX. THE THUNDER ANSWERED BACK / Ó

i screamed out, “how'd it get this bad?” and the thunder answered back “if you know not what you lack then you must unturn your back your inside is overcast and you are tethered to your past and it must feel like fucking hell to be a patchwork of yourself a bunch of scraps thrown and sewn around your bones and though you're alone it's holding you too tightly but who are you? from where do you come? what do you believe in? and whom do you love?"

LXXXI. DIE HAPPY / METRIC

this city is thick with common thieves still passing around the same disease who's running this town and why are we? still drinking that kool-aid like it's free

LXXXII. ALL MY PRIDE / BLACK HONEY

all my scars will heal in time now he's gone with all my pride everybody's saying what i need to do but i haven't got a thing to prove, prove to you

LXXXIII. HEADS WILL ROLL / YEAH YEAH YEAHS

glitter on the west streets silver over everything the rivers all wet you're all chrome

LXXXIV. ART OF DOUBT / METRIC

you said "don't let your heart give out" no, i won't let my heart give out you said "don't let your breath run out" no, i won't let my breath run out

LXXXV. BLACK EYE/BURNT THUMB / METRONOMY

[instrumental]

LXXXVI. KLAPP KLAPP / LITTLE DRAGON

somebody from my heart sang i could turn off and never wake up and everything's clear, my breath made like-steam fake feel better fallin' apart, apart, apart, apart, apart

LXXXVII. VANISHING ACT / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

[instrumental]

LXXXVIII. AUBERGINE / LADY LAMB

i was unborn when i was younger i was unborn when i was younger but i was rebuilt when you spoke i awoke when you spoke

LXXXIX. PSYCHIC READER / BAD BAD HATS

when i look at you, i get a good vibration stay on the line until i hit your station i was meant for you so i can be patient, yeah

XC. BETS AGAINST THE VOID / THE SCARY JOKES

the sun is just a copper coin i flip in bets against the void imitating choice 'til i feel good again, i'll keep them in a tin can then i'll have copper coins to spare

XCI. GIRL / THE INTERNET

passion burning, causing rapture of laughter pressure building, falling faster and faster if i told you that you rock my world, i want you around me would you let me call you my girl? (my girlfriend, my girlfriend) i can give you the life you deserve, just say the word and i got you, baby i got you

XCII. BUZZCUT SEASON / LORDE

i remember when your head caught flame it kissed your scalp and caressed your brain well you laughed, baby it's okay it's buzz cut season anyway

XCIII. GEYSER / MITSKI

you're my number one you're the one i want and i've turned down every hand that has beckoned me to come

XCIV. A KISS / THE BLOW

those dances that I did, they really weren't all that fun to do i only did them 'cause they were the only ones i knew they called me player, i just played who i thought i should be i'd still be her if you hadn't come and interrupted me from the kiss

XCV. CRANE YOUR NECK / LADY LAMB

and i placed my palm upon your collarbone and i wished to fall asleep deep in your marrow as gently as a mouse curled up in a ball as gently as a mouse until tomorrow

XCVI. DANCE YRSELF CLEAN (COVER) / MS MR

walking up to me expecting walking up to me expecting words, it happens all the time present company accepted present company, except the worst it happens every night

XCVII. SOFT SOUNDS FROM ANOTHER PLANET / JAPANESE BREAKFAST

in search of a soft sound from another planet in search of a quiet place to lay this to rest striving for goodness while the cruel men win there's no part of me left that can feel or hear it

XCVIII. A BETTER SON/DAUGHTER / RILO KILEY

and sometimes when you're on, you're really fucking on and your friends, they sing along and they love you but the lows are so extreme that the good seems fucking cheap and it teases you for weeks in its absence but you'll fight and you'll make it through, you'll fake it if you have to and you'll show up for work with a smile and you'll be better and you'll be smarter and more grown up and a better daughter or son, and a real good friend

XCIX. TRAUMA / HOT SUGAR

[instrumental]

C. WOKE UP NEW / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

the first time i made coffee for just myself, i made too much of it but i drank it all, just 'cause you hate it when i let things go to waste and i wandered through the house like a little boy, lost at the mall and an astronaut could've seen the hunger in my eyes from space

#plylsts #we are back in business baybee... no actual cover art this time though because im lazy. soz #ill probably add some at some point though. someday #cataclysmalbound #also literally so sorry for you mobile people out there but it had to be this way. glad you were all willing to sacrifice yourselves

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