#on my first replay i am....having a consideration

[lith-myathar]

.

[blackwaxidol]

Let it be known I did NOT make Valin with love when I was creating a Warlock for myself. I'd made it to the Farm twice with two other attempted Warlocks but the vibes were off, so I decided to try a new beast entirely and made a Valin. He was originally going to have black hair and patternations but I found it too boring...

The red was garish and I wasn't too sure I liked what I had made but I decided to commit to that horrible beast and he has since grown on me like a fungus.

[reidmotif]

Coffee and Consequences

Summary: Reader joins the BAU, and Spencer seems insistent on being a problem for her.

Request: pls i am such a sucker for angst/smut, can you do one where spencer is closed off and cold to a new recruit, and it upsets her, so she tries to get him to like her, which leads to an argument and confession, with soft smut?

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Category: Smut/Light Angst (Happy Ending)

Content Warning: Reader POV, little shit Spencer, oral sex (f recieveing), gunshot wound/typical canon violence, unprotected sex

Word Count: 6.1k

Upon starting at the BAU, I believed there was no question about me, especially when it came to my skills and ability to perform my job. From stellar recommendations from my superiors at the Academy, to general demeanor and tact, there was no question about whether or not my success was imminent. Most of the team were more than elated to welcome me to the small family they’d built over the years, despite my younger age than most of them, which I was eternally grateful for. 

Most, being the keyword in that sentence. Since I’d begun, there’d been one thorn in my roses, the bane of my existence, you might say. Spencer fucking Reid. I’m aware of the fact that not everyone could like me, that was a given. I'm an FBI agent, for god’s sake. To expect warmth and friendship from everyone would be naive and lead to disappointment in any given scenario. 

But Jesus Christ, this was getting absolutely ridiculous. 

I consistently replayed the events of our first meeting. In an attempt to make a good first impression, (which seems stupid, in hindsight) I brought coffee to each of my new co-workers, hoping to establish myself as a friendly, non-threatening presence in their lives. I’d covertly asked Emily for help, as within the interviews and background checks required to even be considered for a position in the BAU, there was a certain camaraderie and friendship forged through the continued exposure to each other. 

Emily advised me carefully, understanding the intentions behind the act, and being more than happy to help.  “JJ likes vanilla lattes, nothing too fancy. Rossi is a little simpler, a Caffe Americano.” I spoke, and continued to go through my team’s regular orders, until there was hesitation on a somewhat infamous name, one that I myself was already intrigued by. “Spencer’s an easy order to remember, but you have to make sure you get it right.” 

I found myself nodding, the seriousness of Emily’s words striking me- momentarily finding myself forgetting that they were speaking about something as mundane as coffee. "Emily spoke slowly, as if I was advising a child. 'Reid likes black coffee, but you have to make sure to add extra sugar.'" I nodded quickly, "Alright, black coffee with extra sugar, got it-" Emily interrupted me abruptly. "No, no. You're not hearing me, extra sugar. I mean a lot, okay? Otherwise, he quite literally won't drink it."

I found myself chuckling a little bit, thinking about the image of Spencer Reid I’d built up in my head before I’d even met him. I knew he had been framed and had endured a considerable time in prison. I was also aware of his intelligence, a natural by-product of all the papers he’d written, and how many of his own techniques in geographic profiling were referenced during my time in the Academy. Working with him seemed like a dream come true. The idea of a grown man needing as much sugar in his coffee as Emily made it seem added just a bit of charm to the already positive perception I’d had of him. 

In the coffee shop, I carefully recited the orders of my new teammates, taking extra caution in advising the barista that the black coffee needed extra sugar. I could tell the patrons behind me were definitely annoyed, but it didn’t matter. First impressions matter more. Even after my incessant requests about sugar, I took the time to open the lid of the steaming black coffee to add in 3 extra packets of brown sugar provided at the customization station in the back of the coffee shop. I could tell the barista was boring holes into the back of my head, and I honestly wasn’t surprised or could blame her. At this point, the sugar had to be more than the coffee itself. I gave a satisfied grin to myself, knowing I’d followed Emily’s directions and the possibility of friendship with someone I’d already come to admire wasn’t something far-off to wish for. 

God, was I wrong. 

I approached the bullpen cautiously, being greeted by an assortment of new faces. I quickly matched names to descriptors that had been given to me from Emily. I then noticed one face that hadn’t greeted me yet, sat alone in the back with his nose in a book. I couldn’t discern the title, which I quickly figured was due to the fact that the book appeared to be some European language I’d most likely never even heard of. The man had a mess of brown hair on his head, and even from across the room I could tell it was curling softly near the nape of his neck. He was handsome. More handsome than I had pegged him for. I knew almost immediately that this had to have been the infamous Spencer Reid, and I cautiously approached him, flashing a small smile. 

He heard me a mile away, looking up quickly and putting away his book. His eyes seemed to size me up, and he didn’t seem to return my smile. I knew better than to shake hands with him, being predisposed to his germaphobe nature and instead held out the coffee, almost as if it was a peace offering. 

“Hi, uh. I’m the new recruit, I believe Emily warned you all about me and I just wanted to introduce myself. (Y/N). That’s my name. It’s nice to meet you.” I said, a little dumbly, still holding the coffee out. I quickly realized I hadn’t explained the reasoning behind the coffee cup and quickly added, “Coffee. I asked Emily about how you liked it. And brought it. So, yeah.” I said. I was aware of how awkward this conversation was becoming, considering I was still holding out the cup, like an idiot, and he hadn’t said a word to me yet. He nodded, taking the coffee cup from me and placing it on his desk. “Dr Reid. Welcome.” His greeting was short, but I tried not to let it bother me. Perhaps he wasn’t as forthcoming to strangers, nevermind that. The coffee was enough. I smiled, again, hoping to make my intentions clear. “Nice to meet you, Dr Reid.” 

I turned back, feeling satisfied. I’d done what I’d come there to do. Except a sound from behind me alerted me that maybe I was a bit early to assume that, because when I’d turned around, an incredibly displeased Dr Reid was throwing away his coffee- the coffee I had brought! That I’d waited for in a morning rush for, that I’d taken the time to add even more sugar to- that coffee! In the trash! His eyes met mine as he dropped it into the trashcan near his desk, shuddering a bit as he did so. He didn’t even look apologetic. 

I approached him, a bit upset and sad, but there was caution in my tone, not wanting to offend him before he even had a chance to know me. “Dr Reid, I’m sorry was the coffee-” Dr Reid quickly interrupted me. “Did Emily not tell you my order?” He asked, a little bit of sharpness to his tone. 

Okay, so this guy took his coffee seriously. Emily was not kidding around. 

“Um, yes-” He interrupted again. “Yes? Are you sure?” He said, a bit of condescension in his tone. Okay, holy shit. All this over coffee? “Very sure.” I responded, confidently. “Black, with extra sugar- I even put extra at the counter.” I added this, trying to convey that while I was sorry it wasn’t to his liking, it’s not like I didn’t try. That had to count for something, right? 

Wrong. Spencer Reid did not seem like the type of man who cared about trying. He retorted with, “Well, it wasn’t enough.” And with that, he shuffled to the breakroom, seemingly to make his own coffee. 

It seemed like from there, things only got worse. In one of my first cases, I quickly made a quip about the statistics on suburban murders, hoping to add some valuable information to the conversation. I tried hard not to overpower anyone and stay in my lane as the resident newbie, but Spencer seemed to take personal offense to it, going out of his way to argue that it meant nothing. I fired back, hoping to affront my point but Reid quickly cut me off.

 “You’re new, alright? And young. It’s granted that you should be clueless when it comes to some of these things.” His words, although somewhat true, were accompanied by a harsh tone and a coldness in his voice. What could’ve been well-meaning advice from a senior agent on the team was clearly not that at all. All signs pointed to one thing: He absolutely hated me. 

For all I tried, it seemed like he only disliked me more. It wasn’t unnoticed by my teammates, how he’d dismiss me. I was aware of my newness, of my inexperience, how this team had had years to grow around each other before I was ever even considered for this position, but it seemed with the more time I spent at the BAU, Spencer’s disdain only increased. He seemed to go out of his way to not sit by me on the jet, or how he seemed absolutely uninterested in anything involving me. I understood that not everyone would like me, but a bit of respect would be nice. I didn’t need friendship, just his tolerance, and even that seemed out of reach for Dr Spencer Reid. 

Eventually, this led to the dynamic  we harbored now. A year into the BAU, and instead of a friendship, or even acquaintanceship, it was constant bickering. It’s not like I wanted to argue- he just made it impossible for me to find footing within the BAU. I obviously stood up for myself, but was met with resistance from the doctor, and so the cycle continued. 

Still, despite the obvious dislike Reid harbored for me, it wasn’t like that magically made him dumb, or any less attractive to me. His intelligence was as impressive as I’d expected it to be, if not even moreso. I watched in real-time as the cogs in his mind turned, his slender fingers finding a point on the side of his mouth to tap, before stopping and sharing what he’d just thought of. He was brilliant, and no one could take that away from him

 However, in this particular case we were currently dealing with, it seemed that brilliance simply didn’t matter, because how could someone like him be so absolutely stupid? 

The hostage situation we were dealing with was tricky, to say the least. Multiple civilians, and a trigger happy unsub. Any experienced agent would be at a loss when handling something like this, but Spencer seemed confident. He’d been pushing to storm the building, citing that more people would get hurt the longer they allowed the unsub to continue making demands. I found myself  wholeheartedly disagreeing, attempting to put my foot down and be heard. I found that perhaps, through negotiations, we could not only save the civilians, but walk away with zero people hurt. Naturally, this caused commotion between the senior agent and myself. 

“Reid, I’ve told you for the millionth time that this unsub can’t be approached like this!” I whisper-yelled, clearly fed up with Spencer by this point. He questioned every decision of mine, and it's gotten to me. 

“(Y/N), you’ve dealt with maybe 3 hostage situations in your life. This isn’t something for you to take point on. We have civilians in there, and it’s more important we save them.” He responded, in his own hiss. 

“You’re being ridiculous!” I retorted. 

“You’re naive!” He shot back. 

We’d clearly reached a head when it came to this. Spencer huffed, rolling his eyes. “I’m using my seniority here. We’re going to give the go-ahead to SWAT and make our way into the building.” 

I found myself returning the gesture. “Spencer- '' I began, only to be interrupted.

 “Dr Reid.” He corrected, venom in his voice. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I replied, furrowing my brows. 

“What?” He countered, seeming calm, but his eyes gave away simply how determined he was to win this. 

“This is a terrible idea.” I said, firmly. “Someone’s going to get hurt.” 

“Oh, and how do you know that?” Spencer quipped. “Is it your years of experience in the field? Or your time spent as an FBI agent?” He said, sarcastically. 

“I understand I don’t have as much experience as you, but-” I started, but I found myself cut off by him again. Bastard. He never let me finish my sentences. “Exactly.” He responded, calmly. “You don’t have as much experience. I know what I’m doing. Let’s go.” And with that, he walked, leaving me to simply follow. God, I fucking hated that guy. Forget the intelligence, none of that mattered when he was such a dick. 

As they entered the warehouse doors behind SWAT, I  knew that it was wrong. Something was off. We’d profiled this unsub as the dominant type, and an egotistical personality that wouldn’t allow for a partner. It was a part of the profile that they were sure of. It was part of the reason why Spencer was so confident of going in. 

Upon entering though, the SWAT team had a clear shot of the unsub, but in a split second, there were shots heard from an entirely different part of the warehouse. From the direction in which Spencer was directly in line of. 

It wasn’t like I thought about it, maybe if I had, I wouldn’t have done it. It was based on pure instinct. I found myself in front of Spencer Reid, the man who’d questioned my every decision since I’d begun my job, taking a bullet for him. Maybe he was right, maybe I was an idiot. 

I heard the gunshot first, then felt the cold floor pressing into my cheek where I’d been knocked down. Then a tight pressure in my arm. I finally looked down, seeing a bloom of red appear under my dress shirt where a bullet had struck, away from the vest I wore to prevent this sort of thing. I took in a sharp breath of air, eyes widening as my breathing began to quicken. I rolled onto my back, only to be met with Spencer’s concerned and frightened expression above me. I heard ins and outs of his speech into his receiver, as I faded in and out of consciousness. 

“Yes! We have an agent down. We need medic, now!” He yelled. I watched him in fascination, his face currently seeming to be the only thing I could focus on besides the overwhelming burning that I felt. I heard him speak to me, calmly. “Y/N? Stay with me, okay? You need to stay conscious. Okay?” He spoke to me calmly, but the waver in his voice was unmistakable. I found my eyelids growing heavier as I nodded. 

It wasn’t long until I came to, groggily opening my eyes to see Spencer’s concerned face looking back at me. I heard his voice, soft and distant. 

“(Y/N)..?” Spencer said, cautiously. 

“Dr Reid?” was my response. I was still a bit dizzy, and a bit confused about my whereabouts. 

“You were shot.” He replied, immediately. “In your arm.” He added, as if that wasn’t already obvious. 

I found myself chuckling, “Yeah, I can tell.” I said, my eyes meeting his. His expression was a bit unreadable, a mix between sternness and apprehension. I watched him, as his gaze shifted and he bit his lip. “You took it for me.” He said, suddenly. “The bullet, I mean.” He continued. “It would’ve hit me if you hadn’t gotten in the way.” 

“Gotten in the way?” I questioned, raising an eyebrow. 

“Gotten in the way.” He repeated back to me, his face hard. 

“Are you upset I took a bullet for you?” I said, furrowing my brows, my lips parting in shock. Was this guy serious? 

“Yes.” He said, his voice angry. “What were you thinking?” His voice wavered with anger and another emotion I couldn’t quite discern in that moment. 

“I wasn’t thinking, I just-” 

“Exactly.” He responded, harshly. “You weren’t thinking.” He said, his voice reaching a volume I’d never heard before, granted, it was still collected, but I’d never seen this side of him. 

I contemplated how to respond to this, actually not being able to believe that he could be mad at me for something like this. Yes, it was brash but- he didn’t get shot! Isn’t that a plus? His voice broke my thoughts, now a bit more shaky, softer. “Do you have any idea what that would mean? If you’d been hurt worse, what that would mean for me?” He said, looking right at my face, into my eyes with a blaze. “What you mean to me?” 

I found myself unable to respond, still not being able to grapple with what he was saying. What he was implying. “Sorry?” I asked, softly. 

“(Y/N)..” He said, softly. His own expression mirrored my confusion mixed with longing I’d never seen before on him. Especially when he looked at me. His hand brushed across my face, moving some hair that had drifted near my eye. I held my breath as he did so, watching as his tongue slipped out to wet his bottom lip, still watching intently. I felt my lips slightly part as he came closer, unsure what was going to happen in this moment, but regardless, my gaze was intently trained on his. 

In a split second though, the sounds of the rest of the BAU filtered into the hospital room. They jumped away from each other, Spencer now 4 feet away from me. Emily came up to my bedside, looking at the wound. 

The typical chastisement came, and the general choruses of appreciation that I was still alive. The diagnosis revealed that (Y/N) would be just fine, given I remembered to clean my wound liberally and change the bandages.

In about a week, I found myself discharged. I was given about 2 more weeks to rest at my apartment. I assumed the time would be enough to forget the strange moment I’d had in the hospital room. At some points, if I tried hard enough, I could convince myself it hadn’t happened at all. The tenderness in his eyes, the way his gaze drifted to my lips, so subtle it could’ve as easily been a figment of imagination. I shook my head, as if I could rid myself of all the feelings I’d harbored about that specific moment. I made my way to the kitchen, grabbing a fresh-set of bandages to apply on the recovering wound, wincing as I peeled away the layers of gauze to reveal the injury. As I began to apply the anti-septic, I began to wrap the gauze, until I heard a knock at my apartment door. 

I put down the gauze, looking through the peephole and being surprised to see the senior agent that had been haunting my thoughts for the past few weeks. I opened the door quickly, meeting his pensive gaze. 

“Can I come in?” He said, quickly, almost if he didn’t say the words fast enough, he’d bolt the other direction. I sensed the confusion about his own actions, and opened the door wider, allowing him to push past me into my apartment. He noticed the gauze, and the open wound, and raised an eyebrow. 

“I was changing the gauze, sorry.” I said, explaining the sight on my kitchen table. He immediately took a step towards the table, picking up the bandages. “Let me help.” He said, quietly, motioning for me to sit down. 

I found myself sitting, out of pure habit of obeying him, but still shook my head. 

 “Dr Reid, no, it’s fine.” He quickly shook his head, mirroring my previous actions,  already beginning to take my arm, his light touches on my bare skin shooting a shiver up my spine. This was noticeable to him, him immediately retracting his hand. 

“Sorry, did I hurt you?” He asked, softly. 

I found myself shaking my head. “No, no. Sorry. Just. Continue.” I said, trying to get the words out without looking at him. I suddenly remembered the strangeness of this situation, and forced myself to calm down as he began to carefully wrap the bandages around my injury, swallowing and looking up. 

“Dr Reid, why are you here?” I asked, carefully. I made sure that my tone was neutral, not trying to express displeasement, but still a bit confused about his intentions here. 

“You took a bullet for me.” He replied, simply, as if that explained why he was in my apartment, looming over me as he tenderly wrapped gauze over my arm, looking at me with the gentlest gaze I’d ever seen on him. I sighed, locking eyes with him. “I know, but-” He interrupted. “No, (Y/N), you don’t know.” 

Immediately, the rage returned to my eyes, the months of dismissal I’d faced from him flooding back in a moment, and those emotions came to full light in that moment. my brows furrowed, my face turning sour. “Oh, I don’t know, Spencer?” I said, sneering at him. “Am I too young, too stupid, too inexperienced for you?” I question, sarcastically. “Am I so dumb, that I wasn’t aware of what I was doing when I stepped in front of you?!” I say, my voice practically yelling at him now. 

“Yes.” He whispered, dangerously close. 

“Excuse me?” 

“Yes. You weren’t aware.” He says, repeats, softer this time. “It’s the only way any of this makes sense. That.. that you were so unaware, so blinded that you weren’t thinking when you stepped in front of me.” He said, quietly, remaining just as close as before. 

“I wasn’t.” I said, firmly, my brows still furrowed but the tension slowly left my face, being replaced with a softness. 

“Why did you do it then?” He said, dropping his gaze as he began to focus more on the bandages. “I haven’t been very forthcoming with you since you’ve begun your time at the BAU.” 

“Ah, so you’ve noticed.” I said, trying to make humor of the situation, but it came out a bit more breathless and dry. I was aware of the intimacy of the situation, and it seemed my body was catching up. I could physically feel the way my cheeks were heating up, and how they were close enough that I could see every breath that exhaled from his lips. How, despite everything, I still desperately wanted to kiss him at that moment. 

I couldn’t be crazy, when he secured the bandages and slowly trailed his eyes over my figure, sitting in front of him. I saw the same desire I felt, reflected in his eyes, and I found myself biting my lip. What the fuck was going on?

“So why’d you do it?” He repeated, still looking at me. 

“It felt natural, I..” I trailed off, trying to find the words to explain what I had felt in that split-second, but instead went with the simplest retelling my brain could manage, considering how close he was. “I didn’t want you to get hurt.” I said, looking at him. “I.. I care about you.” 

I felt stupidly vulnerable. His breath fanned over my face, and I bit my lip. I waited for him to say something, anything, staring anxiously at his face. 

“I’m a good profiler, you know.” He says, softly. 

I  chuckle a little at this, moving away so the tension can be relieved. “Trust me, I’m reminded of that every day.” I said, feeling like the distance between them was now more manageable, allowing me to talk.

But in a moment, he closed that distance to its predecessor, just as close as they were a moment ago. “You learn a lot about body language. Not just by learning to profile, but through years of experience. It just comes naturally, reading people. You can’t really turn it off. It’s like trying to forget how to breathe.” I hung onto his every word, and found my breath hitching when he directed his monologue to me. 

He gently inquires, “Do you understand?” 

I nod, looking up at him, as he inches closer. 

“So I hope you’ll understand and not take offense when I say I’ve been profiling you.” He pauses.  “Would you like to know what I’ve found out?” He says, looking right into my eyes at this point. 

My brain is screaming at me to say no, to not take the bait that he was dangling right in front of me, and to not cross that line tonight. Because, surely, that’s where this was going. I had a sneaking suspicion that the man in front of me was going to ruin me, if I let him. 

Instead, I ignore the instinct and intuition I normally rely on, and nod. “What did you find out, Dr Reid?” I responded, a bit shakier than I wanted to sound. 

“Your pupils dilate when I come near you. It’s an involuntary response, but I notice it every time. I’ve seen it in low and heavy lighting, the only commonality in both those situations being that we were in some proximity to each other.” His voice was low, and seductive, something I’d never heard from him before. 

“Your heart rate.” He murmurs, slowly picking up my wrist and pressing a thumb to the pulse point. “This isn’t exactly the best way to measure heart rate.” He explains, “My thumb. It carries its own pulse that can make it hard to distinguish between mine and yours. But right now, (Y/N)?” He mumbles. “I can tell. Because your pulse is going crazy right now. It’d be hard to miss.”  He said, with a low chuckle.

And he’s right, I can feel my heart getting faster with every second he speaks to me, in that hushed tone that seems to be driving me crazy. 

“It’s not just tonight. I’ve noticed it since the day you walked in.” He whispers, getting closer to my ear, his lips brushing against the shell of my ear. “Since you brought that terrible coffee, actually.” 

I pulled back, letting out a noise that was both composed of surprise and amusement. “Oh come on, it was not that bad.” 

“It was, but I can tell you tried.” He said, a small smirk playing on his face. “It was cute.” He said, now taking the time to brush some hair out of my face. It all happened quickly, his gaze tender and soft, before he captured my lips in a swoon-worthy kiss, pressing himself against me. I quickly melted into the kiss, letting out a satisfied sigh as I gripped his forearm, before rising from the chair as he slowly guided me to my couch. I let out a nervous laugh as my knees hit the cushions, tumbling a bit as I fell onto the soft pillows. He immediately pulled back, breathless, looking at me worriedly. 

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” He murmured softly, kissing me again, a bit more gentle so I could murmur a soft “no” against his lips. 

“Good.” He growled, positioning himself above me on the couch,  beginning to press hot kisses down my neck, eventually reaching my exposed sternum, and looking up at me through hooded lids for implicit consent to continue, to which I nodded, feverishly. 

“Please.” I whispered, hoarsely. 

He took no time in obliging my request, rising a bit to remove the fabric of my shirt in one, clean swoop and continuing his assault on my chest, leaving open-mouthed kissed, eventually switching to nips and playful bites, as he sucked marks into the swell of my breasts, leaving me letting out delighted sighs and soft moans, which only seemed to encourage him to go lower. I arched my back, screwing my eyes shut, until he felt him stop, and come back to my neck. 

He murmured against me, close to my ear. I could feel his lips slowly brush the sensitive skin between my ear and neck, barely giving me any real stimulation, but it was enough to drive me crazy anyway. 

“Keep your eyes open, baby.” He whispers. “I want to see every part of your pretty face when I do this.” He says, returning lower again, leaving little kisses everywhere he could possibly go with his lips. I opened my eyes on command, watching as he went lower and lower, before finding the button on my jeans, slowly undoing them with nimble fingers and moving them off  my legs. I could imagine them so vividly inside me, expertly guiding me to pleasure in a way that mine couldn’t. But right now, if I wasn’t fucked senseless by him right now, I’d just about lose my mind. 

“Spencer.” I whispered, breathlessly. “I need you.” I breathed out. “Please.” 

“You need me to do what?” He asked, smirking as he already began to undo his own belt. 

“Spencer.” I repeated, firmly, not wanting to say the words. 

“Say it.” He says, in a much more commanding tone. 

“Spencer..” I repeat, breathing out again. “Fuck. I need-” I waver on the words, biting my lip. “I need you to fuck me. Now.” 

His smirk turns into a grin of satisfaction and pride, capturing my lips in yet another passionate kiss. “Mm. Wasn’t so hard, was it?” He says, cockily. I whined against his lips, tacitly begging him to just get on with it and he chuckles, moving off of my mouth. 

“Alright. I get it.” He says, moving his lips downwards again, his lips brushing against my underwear, as he began to remove that fabric as well. He nearly moaned when he saw just how wet I really was. It was a bit embarrassing, just from a few touches and words, but it was hard to care when I felt his tongue right on my core, beginning to lap at the hot flesh, reducing me to moans as I knotted my fingers into his hair, arching my back and bucking my hips to feel more of his ministrations. He seemed to understand, hooking his strong arms under my thighs, firmly planting me to the couch we were currently on, continuing. I could feel his moans against me, sending vibrations that only heightened my arousal in that moment. As if that was even possible. 

And then it was, because I heard him murmur against me.“You taste-” he paused, using his tongue to lap up more of my arousal. “So fucking good.” He finished, beginning to now harshly flick at my clit, which caused an entirely new slew of sensations. I recognized my end was fast approaching, and I tugged on his hair, unable to form the words as the white-hot pleasure overtook me quickly, he seemed to understand this without a word, nursing me through my orgasm as my thighs shook around him and he held my hips down. Even then, he didn’t stop, continuing to flick his tongue, lapping up my arousal until I had to physically push him away with a soft groan. “Spencer.. It’s too much.” Even then, he continued, reducing me to nothing but moans, and I heard him whisper. “Come on. One more. Please.” The words unintentionally caused a flutter in my stomach, and in record time I was being pushed towards my second orgasm in a matter of 5 minutes.

His mouth was clearly so much better at this than arguing. 

I felt him lap up the last bit of my arousal, looking up at me with a glistening chin, and I’d be lying if I didn’t say it was the most erotic sight in the world at that moment. The man that had questioned me at every turn, now in between my legs. He gave a smirk, moving up and giving me a rough kiss, and I didn’t hesitate to moan in his mouth when I could taste myself on his tongue. He smiled as he broke the kiss, caressing my cheek with one of his hands. His thumb moved along the smooth expanse of my cheeks. 

“Are you okay?” He asks, gently, concern in his eyes. 

I couldn’t help but break out into a dazed smile, nodding, a thin cover of sheen over my body, where I was still breathing heavily. “Yeah. I’m good.” 

“Good.” He breathed out. “I’m not stopping.” 

“I don’t want you to stop,” was my response, his shirt coming off before I’d even finished my sentence. 

I watched in fascination as he undid his belt, the very sound of it filling me with anticipation and desire. I could feel myself getting more aroused by the second, despite my previous two orgasms. I wanted him, I wanted this so badly. 

I felt him position himself over me, and feeling the head of his arousal run through my folds. I let out a breathy groan, as I felt him push into me. He let out a moan of his own, shutting his eyes. “You feel.. So fucking good.” 

I whimpered slightly as my body adjusted to him and his size. He was so big, and I’d never felt full like this before. He noticed this and placed a gentle kiss against my lips, watching my face as it contorted in pleasure and pain. As the pain began to subside, I looked up at him nodding. 

“Move, please.” I begged, the desperation evident in my voice.

He took no time in obeying my request, beginning to slowly thrust in and out of me. I moaned, feeling his cock stretch me and fill me up in a way I had never been full before. A pleasant sensation bloomed through my lower abdomen, and I could feel him bury his head into my shoulder as he pushed into me, my walls clenching on his length with every movement he gave. He pressed wet kisses into my neck, and I moaned happily at the feeling. In an instant, I could feel him fucking me desperately, placing both of his hands on either side of my face. I could feel my jaw drop, and no sound came out. I was being hurdled towards my third orgasm of the night and it was all at the behest of the man in front of me, plowing into me like it was his job. 

I moaned loudly, my legs wrapping around his waist in an attempt to keep him buried in my deepest point, feeling my release creeping up on me. 

“Sp-Spencer..” I groaned, attempting to alert him of my impending orgasm, but he simply swooped down, kissing me roughly, which only caused me to moan into his mouth. 

“I know, baby.” He whispered, in a deliciously dark tone. “Come for me, baby. Wanna feel you make a mess all over my cock.” 

It took no more provocation from there, as I felt my hips buck up once more and my thighs shake. I came with a loud moan of his name, my free hand gripping onto him and leaving scratches I knew wouldn’t go away for a while. 

My release seemed to spur him on, the wetness allowing him to fuck into me harder. I watched the man above me lose all control, and it was beautiful. He grunted a bit, and I could feel his hips stutter, chasing after his orgasm. 

“Please, Spencer.” I begged. “Fill me up, I need to feel you come inside me.” I whispered. 

It didn’t take long after that, after a particularly hard thrust, a warmness filled me at my hilt and Spencer nearly collapsed over me. He gave me a kiss, murmuring into the skin of my neck. “So perfect, so fucking perfect for me.” 

I smiled at the praise, biting my lip. I let my hand traverse over his back, drawing figures into the warm skin. I looked at the man laying on my sternum, looking absolutely fucked out despite being the one to give me three orgasms tonight. “Perfect, you say?” I teased. 

He looked up at me, kissing my lips softly, before mumbling against them, “Mm. Perfect.” 

I had a sneaking suspicion the next time we were at work, and he’d have something to say about my work, (because he always did), it wouldn’t take long to have him whispering sweet nothings to me in an instant, just like he was now. At least I could do something right on the first try.

hi!! this is my first fanfiction i've written since i was literally in middle school. spoiler. far from middle school right now. leave a comment, reblog, like, whatever! i had fun writing this. my ask box should be open for more requests? if anyone would like. anyway! hope u enjoyed!! :3

[wisteriasonthemoon]

Do coincidences strike twice?

oh yeah, my replay. I got distracted. I was in chapter 1, at the very first free-time event

this is a great place to start blogging about it again, because there's a question that has been bugging me that Kokichi's event provides great context for. I would like to call upon fandom collective memory for a potential answer

in his FTE #1, Kokichi claims that he and Kaede have met before, but she's forgotten about him. after Kaede questions him, Kokichi goes into a very short story about how they supposedly met. he then rescinds his claim

Kokichi: Hmmm, let's see. We met... Kokichi: ...under hostile circumstances similar to this. Kaede: Huh? Kokichi: You sheltered me while I was on the run from my enemies. With your piano skills, you managed to raise enough money to fund my escape... Kokichi: But then I betrayed you! I sold you out to my enemies and you were swiftly killed! Kaede, thinking: Th-there is no freaking way any of that is true... Kaede: That was all a lie! Kokichi: Yup, it sure was! We met each other here! I can't believe you fell for that, Kaede. You're such a sucker. Kaede: Geez... Kaede, thinking: Yeah... This is the sort of prank a kid who wants attention would pull.

because of the fantastical and vague nature of the story, Kaede dismisses him without much consideration and some agitation, yada yada, Kaede leaves annoyed

okay, context established. smash cut. tumblr town time now

so, there's this DRV3 theory post from 2021 by tumblr user fit-artichoke8738 that I really enjoy. well, I say theory post, but it doesn't attempt to conclude anything about the game or its' mysteries. it's more of a musing connection between two background details: the DICE logo and Kaede's research lab door

for those of you who didn't click the link, basically, Kaede's research lab door resembles the right half of the DICE logo. or, to put it another way, the right half of the DICE logo resembles piano keys. like this

that's it, that's the whole post. fit-artichoke8738 doesn't further speculate. which is all well and good, because although nobody points it out in the notes, the right half of the DICE logo is ... the "C" and "E" in DICE ...

... probably??? right???

which means this could easily be explained as an artistic coincidence. both are black and white, composed of common shapes, and the devs might have not been thinking about the similarities given all the time and work that goes into creating a game like DRV3

I have an addition though. is this *also* an artistic coincidence

IS IT?

did the devs consciously choose to write Kokichi doing a "you were my ally once! psych!" rug pull on Kaede in his first free-time event with her and then they just. spilled paint and accidentally made this design on her shirt

a design, btw, that I am aware is officially listed in the DRV3 in-game gallery as her former high school emblem. it also names the school as "Shining Star International High School". it's a reference to Seisa International, a real conglomerate of International schools in Japan, or so claims the danganronpa.fandom wiki

the only post I can find of similar speculation is from 2020 on VK, a Russian social media, where someone else pulls "LIE" out of the same emblem, just without utilizing the whole thing

and jokes aside, I can guess why this isn't talked about much. this is a background detail, the framework that most people (seem to) view the truth of DRV3 is through Tsumugi's game-show explanation, and there are several ways to dismiss the "DICE" reading, including but not limited to the fact that Kaede has a very inconsistently rendered emblem between her cut-scenes and sprites

but I expected to be able to *find* that dismissal. like "oh. that's weird. ANYWAY." kind of posts. nada. am I missing them??? where are they??? I'd love to understand where the logic for current DRV3 interpretations comes from. the lack of theory discussion these days makes that difficult for me. might as well start with what happened with this idea, since I'm interested in it

if anybody knows, that would be cool. and with that out of my system. I'll resume replay next weekend. maaaaaybe tomorrow

[jayfitzmaurice]

Companion Considerations: Gale

I want to talk about Thirkuir's relationship with each of the companions, and make a little - well - companion piece to go with each of them.

I figured we should start with Gale.

See you for the next one!

...but, no, actually, I'm replaying Thirkuir's adventure in Baldur's Gate 3 and taking more of my time. While the majority of the decisions are the same, I am making some choices differently to experience different paths, and this includes pulling all of Gale from the stone, instead of just his hand.

It is thus far a very bittersweet experience, because contrary to what I would have guessed, Kuir actually likes Gale very much. (It doesn't hurt that Gale is very complimentary.)

Gale might put his foot in his mouth when first forging relationships with innate magic users, but his enthusiasm, knowledge, and ambition are all things Kuir loves.

When all is said and done, they maintain a friendship paved with the exchanges of book, parchment, and scroll; sometimes for research, but always for pleasure.

...Or, well, they would, if Kuir didn't canonically lead to Gale's untimely death. But I am enjoying exploring a friendship that could have been, if certain urges had been resisted.

[luxintrus]

Hey, how long does it take you to make a video, like editing and coming up with ideas? P.S. I love you so much and am so jealous of your coding capabilities

Fish fact: I do not code a majority of my mods! It's actually EightSidedsquare and sometimes AmyMialee! I only design the visuals and mechanics, and make the assets. They're the ones who actually code the stuff in.

Anyways, onto the main question, the first three videos on my channel actually represent each of the 3 ways i can go about making a video. If its about Content SMP, those take the longest as i usually: - gotta come up with a good idea for a mod and then fully develop it (which itself can take a lot of time depending on the scope of the mod) - have to prepare an event for the mod (i always make stupidly big builds to go along with them aswell lmao); - take the recording of the event and cut it up; - write and voice the narration for the video (this takes so long for me ;-; i need tips on how to speed up writing it actually sucks so much lmao); - record b-roll needed for the narration (i am not a sane human being so i choose to use replay mod/freecam shots for 90% of my b-roll, which takes considerably longer :D); - ..and then taking all of that and editing it up (actually doesn't take me that long). This in total can take... quite a while especially since I'm not that organized :P My latest video (The one where i showcase the plupper) was an example of one where i chose to write zero narration and use no b-roll, which cut down the video from taking several months to make all the way down to.... one day! (btw this doesn't include how long it took to actually make the features in the mod) Although narration and b-roll slows me down a lot, i prefer to still focus on it since i end up with a significantly more polished video, and I'd like to put out nice videos that people remember instead of weekly slop. Maybe at some point i can find a good middle ground where I spend less time on each video while still maintaining a good level of quality.

[5-pp-man]

another tierlist because ppl actually liked that first one;

the crème de la crop;

the first 2 eps i thought it was fine, but it didnt really captivate me as much as id hoped. but then ep 3 changed everything for me. i started to think "how could living armour work logically? everything so far has been edible, so this must be too, right?" i actually managed to think of the exact thing that this series did. that really made me realise the worldbuilding in this was something unique, and it only got better and better with each episode. its really managed to captivate me and i look forward to "delicious donderdag" every week :)

ANIME ORIGINAL LETS GOOOO absolutely bonkers show that almost slipped by me because it initially tried to fool its audience into thinking it was a regular dramatic military show. it still is but theres also a giant robot who plays by saturday morning cartoon giant robot rules. if that sounds like tonal whiplash to you, trust me, it is. and its amazing. have i mentioned how homoerotic this one is as well? yeah. originally a tier below this one, but immediately after finishing this post i watched the newest ep. i had to make an exception and edit the list because ep 9 changes everything. i havent been gobsmacked by a show this hard in a while.

(return of the) show(s) that execute their own premise very well;

i havent read the manga for yubisaki to renren so i cant compare, but the quality of this adaptation has been very consistent. you need a little sweet romance every once in a while :) this is one of those series where the characters really grew on me the longer it went on. im always a fan of mixing realistic struggles with romance and this one has been doing it well so far

adaptations that are ok (i read the manga for both of these);

i've been a mashle fan since before s1 aired. and the anime has some good changes and additions here and there! but its not very consistent in terms of quality, it does that shonen thing where the animation quality suddenly spikes for certain action sequences, but it also frequently had a lot of scenes where they recycle shots a lot and nothing interesting happens on the screen for a considerable amount of time. still! its a fine adaptation. and yeah the op for this. blew tf up lmao? very strange to see happen in real time

i actually rlly like the manga for this one. i read the whole thing up until vol.6 before the season started (all that was available back then) and it made me cry multiple times throughout. i was sort of missing that connection with the show, though some of the later episodes still hit. its mostly to do with the animation quality, which isnt that great unfortunately. the voice actors are knocking it out of the park though

wghere am i;

is this show good? i. uh. will you hate me if i say yes...? objectively, i know its not that good. especially in the animation department. but if you like other Umatani shows, you'll like this one. it's got the same brand of goofy reactionary humour mixed with gimmicky tacky characters and crazy stupid plot twists. ive been faithfully watching this one each week and I'm afraid i've become very invested. overscientific indeed

bro you fell off...;

i was so beyond excited for this one. i replayed the op a million times, watched each preview, rewatched multiple episodes. and then. ep 5 happened. and i started to realise. oh this show kind of sucks doesnt it? the pacing of the first ep was great, but the rest? way too fast. it became clear with ep 6 that theyre trying to do a double cour show with half the length, which is why they started hauling ass plot-wise. now. i was an arajin apologist for the longest time. but at that point i honestly started to loathe him. even when he stepped up, his praise still felt sort of unearned. and to top it all off, shindou's motivation sucked so he felt like a lousy antagonist. ep6 was better than 5, but it really made me lose my enthusiasm and hope for the series. and right as we were talking about them probably not having time for a filler ep, ep7 happened. feels like a waste of time to do an ep like that when you've still got a whole 2nd arc to go through. but who am i

it started off pretty good honestly. but then chris went to the hospital and it kind of just dwindled from there. this season does so much with characters that have not even been properly introduced like how am i supposed to care about these people if i barely know who they are. the stuff with finn and leo respectively was good though. but the lore dump? lord help me. also vijay just kind of. exists to be there in the background huh? i would not call him a main character they never give him any attention. wendy had another ep again and he didnt get shit. again. also i think finn was stupid as fuck for not listening to lala but again. who am i. i know we cant destroy high card because we need a show but. cmon man.

i am severely behind on these;

reason why im behind is because most of the eps are a bit heavy so i kept. not watching them. its starting to get rlly interesting though so i'm def gonna catch up this is one of those robo-racism shows so i have to really watch out to see where its going. dont want another marginal service situation...

sorry this is just. a little too boring for me. its charming, sure. but i think this wouldve worked better as something with an 11 min timeslot instead of 23 min. theres just a bit too mu- or well, too little for me to rlly get into this. i think reading it would be more fun for me personally

[pure-garbage]

One Calm Moment... Overdue Kiss Behind The Grove

After the seahorse was defeated and the crew's memories all returned, Lana found herself overwhelmed with exhaustion, but unable to sleep. Instead, she lay behind Nami's tangerine grove and watched the sky as sunset painted it with brilliant array. It had been two full days since she'd slept, two days since she handed Zoro her sash and he accepted it in the spirit in which it had been given.

'We never got to follow up on that exchange... meddling memory-thieving seahorse monster,' Lana thought with disdain. She kept replaying the events of that incident in her mind. One moment in particular was haunting her sleep-deprived psyche.

For the first time in ten years, Lana had laid eyes on her father. She knew it wasn't real, just an illusion conjured by that cruel creature as a last-ditch effort to save itself and keep their memories. Still, the impact of seeing him again, even for a moment, was hardly lessened.

Zoro's footsteps interrupted her reflections, alerting her to his approach. The weight of his footfalls was intentional, she knew. He could move in perfect silence if he wanted to, but he let her know he was coming to avoid startling her. Lana was grateful for his consideration. Seeing him reminded her of something. A small girl with blue hair, another manifestation of the seahorse's trickery. Even in the midst of her own shock at the echoes of her past, the way Zoro looked at that girl hadn't escaped her notice.

'I wonder if that was his Kuina. I guess she did look like that sergeant major. It would make sense.'

"That cook's looking for you," he informed her, breaking the reverie of her pondering. Lana only sighed. "Come on, you can't tell me you aren't hungry after all that."

"I guess I am," she admitted.

"So come eat."

"I'll eat later. The sun feels so nice right now."

"It does."

Zoro settled down on the deck cross-legged to enjoy the sun's final rays with her. Of all the traits they shared, hedonism was the most pronounced. They were both accustomed to taking whatever they wanted whenever they wanted it. When it came to each other, that tendency was curbed both by respect and doubt.

At least, it had been.

Zoro reached out and ran the tips of his fingers through Lana's violet hair. The dusk light gleamed off her dark locks, tinting them red in places. She sighed, but the tone of this soft exhalation was completely different from the one she'd loosed before. The setting sun's radiant glow accentuated the blush coloring her cheeks as she glanced up to meet Zoro's eyes. He grinned down at her, winding his fingers deeper when she didn't stop him. Lana's eyelids slid shut blissfully as she let him rub her scalp.

'So he did get the message.'

"That feels even nicer than the sun," she purred, leaning into his touch. Zoro hummed in accord, tracing the shell of her ear.

"Lana?"

"Yeah?"

"Promise you'll never forget me again."

"That was pretty awful, huh?"

"There was a moment back there," he mused, tone dark despite his contentment. "... after my memories came back, before yours did."

"Oh. When you were still fighting Luffy," Lana recalled.

"The way you looked at me..."

"I thought you must have been a demon," Lana winced. 'I'm sure my face was a sight and a half.'

"You looked so scared."

Lana shifted, leaning up on her elbow. She took Zoro's hand from her hair, twining her fingers through his.

"Nah. I could never be scared of you," she assured him.

"But you were."

"That wasn't me. It wasn't you, either. Don't waste time reading into things some dumb seahorse made us do," she pointed out. "Besides..."

She dropped his hand, reaching up to flick his earrings with her finger, eyes gleaming playfully.

"... Demon Zoro saved me once, remember? I really like that scary guy."

Her words brought an easy smile to Zoro's face. He was learning that her reasoning was never what he expected, and he liked it when she surprised him.

"And that's an easy promise to make," she went on. "Cryptid sea creatures aside, I don't see how I could ever forget you."

He could have told her that he liked her too, but her beauty overcame him as the golden light show of sunset on the sea reached its pinnacle, gilding Lana like some goddess of old. He leaned down, cupping her cheek with one hand and bracing against the deck with the other, coming close enough to feel her quickening breaths on his face.

He paused an inch from touching her, waiting to give her time to pull away if she wanted to. She remained still except for her fingers. They crept forward to cover his, winding around his wrist to steady herself. Zoro pushed forward, kissing her for the first time. He'd thought about doing so many times after the battle on Corrin's ship. Now, the apprehension that had always held him back seemed silly with hindsight. Lana's lips were as soft as he remembered, a heavenly balm against his after such a long wait. She still tasted as sweet as she had under the water when she'd saved him from drowning.

The kiss was short and soon they parted. Lana didn't say another word, just rolled over on the deck to rest her head in Zoro's lap.

'I never want you to forget me either, Zoro,' she thought, but she held the words close to her heart.

He stroked her hair with gentleness that belied his great strength and Lana passed out before she even realized sleep was calling her. It wasn't long before Zoro joined her in slumber, snoring softly against the ship's rail as the waves rocked them like the hands of some vast mother on a tiny cradle.

______________________________________________

<== Previous Chapter

Next Chapter ==>

== First Chapter ==

[davnittbraes]

Hi Davnitt!

I have come to your ask box today with 3 Marcus Pikes and I desperately need to know which one you like the best and why…

Or

Or

Thanks in advance for the essay you are about to write 😉😘

Me?? An essay??

My friend, I really don’t know why you’re under the impression that I wouldn’t simply respond to this lovely ask with a straightforward and succinct answer, that just doesn’t sound like me AT ALL.

So anyways -

In this essay I will demonstrate which of the three Marcus gifs submitted I like best and why.

In the first gif, we have post-Teresa Marcus, still carrying the weight of a broken heart while trying to put his life back together. See the sad puppy dog eyes? The nervous smile? That delectable beard isn’t for an undercover job, as he so claims. It’s obvious Poor Bébé is grasping at anything in his life that he can control, any way he can alter the present to be different than the future he dreamed of with her that he now realizes will never come to fruition.

And yet, as we know, Marcus is resilient, unable to stay down for long. There’s a glimpse of it in his gaze, the unwavering confidence that is already guiding him toward realizing the truth - that Teresa was an uninteresting, immature woman with sociopathic tendencies.

Also, that NECK omg I just wanna BITE it nom nom nom and the SMILE??? My heart 🥰🥰🥰

The second gif -

*pauses to physically and emotionally recover from Marcus Pike in a white t-shirt*

- gives us a slightly defensive Marcus, one who is confronted with a perceived threat to his happiness (aka the man he obviously suspects his girlfriend is in love with) and a particularly inspired choice of camera angle where the viewer is subjected to the very same broad chest and shoulders that have so many of us shifting in our seats.

Though on the surface he is displaying his typical politeness, there’s an underlying general aura of “back the fuck away from my girl” that, for those of us who find the idea of him metaphorically growling at anyone who might steal us away attractive (re: me) demands multiple replays of this particular gif.

Plus his hair is so fluffy here like it’s just begging for fingers to run through it and grip and pull -

Ahem okay anyways MOVING ON.

The last gif submitted for consideration is the essential Marcus Pike gif. Do I have a source to support this argument? Yes. Myself. Fight me.

The gentle gaze that radiates sincerity, the clearly and firmly stated reassurance that he is patient, forgiving, and will be ready whenever she is? His heart isn’t just on his sleeve, it’s in his eyes as he looks at her.

This is my favourite Marcus gif, ever. Not only because of the points stated above, but because this gif ultimately inspired my I’m Here series. I wanted to capture the essence of this gif and distill it in my own hurts and pains and flaws and see if the result was anything meaningful.

But when I went to write the first part of the series, I thought - my Marcus has lived so much since this gif. He’s been through heartbreak and betrayal, made rash decisions and put too much of himself in other people’s hands.

In my series, he’s worked through all of that in therapy, learned how to hold relationships without demanding everything from the other person - and himself - all at once, and how to find the validation he seeks in himself, not others. He’s no longer obsessed with obtaining his perception of a perfect life, focused so determinedly on the future that he misses the importance of the present.

I’m Here Marcus is grounded, centred in the moment. He knows what he truly wants, and that is a partner who will walk side by side with him along whatever path life lays out.

So, where once he said “I’ll be here,” implying he will wait for when she decides to come to him, now he says “I am here. For you. Be here with me, now.”

In conclusion, though all submissions resulted in me staring at gifs for much longer than is healthy, the third is my favourite 😊

And if you’ve read this far, I’d like you to know that you’ve read approximately 600 words of deranged rambling about a minor character in an objectively terrible television show. Do what you will with that information.

Thank you for the ask, my darling Katie 🐙

[interv4ls]

Miracle Aligner l Eddie Munson X Fem!Reader

Summary: When everything is stressing, Eddie might be the miracle aligner that (Y/N) needs to get away from life.

pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader / Fluff (platonic, i can fix that in another one if you’d like, hehe)

warnings: mentions of smoking (the illegal stash) and slight language. Use of (Y/N) and a made-up character as her friend. 

word count: 2,556

A/N: Hello, everyone! It’s been a while since I last posted around here! I came back with an old piece, this time with Eddie, my love! I don’t encourage smoking, it’s not good for you, don’t do it! But for the sake of the plot, I made the mention and story all around it - not glamourizing at all!  I really hope you guys like it. Remembering that English is not my first language, I did some beta reading but  if there any mistakes, please, forgive me. I hope you guys enjoy this one, constructive critics are welcome :)

There were three things (Y/N) could never trust in her life: the weather, Hawkings and her memory. She no longer trusted the flashbacks that once in a while replayed behind her empty eyes during math classes, especially the ones about her childhood. Hawkings being the little egg that it is as a city, (Y/N) could always check her memories with the other people that were there with her, but nobody remembered – the thing wasn’t like they didn’t remember as detailed as she did – they didn’t remember at all. Sometime in her life, she started to think she was crazy and made up all those things, but they were so vivid and so real to her that it wasn’t possible to be all imagination.

And when you live in Hawkings, it’s not like a considerate number of good memories could be made – especially if you were a forgettable person in High School. (Y/N) had friends but they were much like her, not as popular, they would never be the ones to sip beer late Friday, go to a gas station to do nothing or throw massive parties while someone’s parents were traveling. (Y/N) saw herself kind of revolting about her same boring chores everyday – until she went once to California with her cousin and tried weed for first time. It was not as demonic as her father made up to be all her life, actually, it was the perfect escape from her boring small city life.

When she returned to Hawkings, she swore not to smoke again just because it would take so much work – finding a dealer, sneaking out to smoke or even smoke inside the house and fake the smell – but one day, she missed the relaxing sensation of just inhaling the smoke and laying down. She was in the middle of lunch, not even touching her food, heavy eyes from nights of insomnia and all the noise from other people’s conversation – her friend, Veronica, was right in front of (Y/N) – looking rather curious about her friend’s recent behavior.

“Penny for your thoughts?” The girl said out loud and (Y/N) seemed to snap back to reality. She sighed and tried to find the words.

“Do you know who…” (Y/N) started but realized she was talking loudly. “Well, how am I supposed to say this?” She and Veronica never talked about those things, (Y/N) was beginning to think she would be judged.

“Just shoot, you’ve been freaking me out the entire lunch with this face of yours.” (Y/N) looked at Veronica even more seriously. “Sorry, girl. But you look like you’ve been drained the whole week.”

“Well, the feeling is just as close, believe me.” (Y/N) snorted. “Do you know someone who sells weed?” Veronica opened her mouth but (Y/N) stopped her. “Don’t lecture me about anything, I’m not being unhealthy or anything. It’s just, the school just started and my mom’s being a crazy wench these days. I miss the days in California and the ‘no worries’ mood.”

Veronica always felt she never really met (Y/N)’s mother. Like, she met the person she wanted her to see, but not the woman (Y/N) had as a mother – and the last years, (Y/N) have been complaining a lot about pressure at home. Ever since she decided to go to a college out of the state, her parents had been resisting a lot to everything related to it and God knows how this can be frustrating in their last year of High School.

“Well, I suppose it’s not like you’re asking for cocaine or heroin.” Veronica shrugged and looked around just to ensure nobody was listening – like someone ever was. “Look, I heard a time or another that Eddie Munson knows something about it. A guy from the Drama Club made the deal to share the room with Eddie for his game club in exchange for something that, and I quote, makes him incarnate Shakespeare.”

“Well, I would love Shakespeare to live this living hell for me.” (Y/N) said and Veronica laughed. “It’s been a while since I last talked with Edward. Wouldn’t it be weird to show up just to ask a thing like that?”

“Well, you are the only person I know he accepts calling him Edward. And, if he is the one messing with this kind of stuff, you’re just one more costumer. Not big deal, right?”

Veronica’s logic was right. But (Y/N)’s last memory with Eddie was in middle school and they argued about something. Was it about her preferring Dio over Ozzy in the vocals of Black Sabbath? Or they were just differing in phases of life? Again, she couldn’t – for the life of her – remember why. In the end, she just hoped that whatever it was about, it wouldn’t get in the way of her deal.

“You don’t have drama club today, right?” (Y/N) pointed with her fork to Veronica.

“Nop. That’s his today.” (Y/N) nodded her head slowly, tracing all the possible plans for her to reach Eddie.

(Y/N) spent the rest of the day in the library – not only waiting for the Hellfire Club meeting to end but also, to escape her mother’s babbling or whatever. It was a good, silent and distracting place – she read, took a little nap and helped the librarian returning the books to their right shelves – that was actually the script of her day for several weeks - which only made her think even more about how she needed an urgent “chill” feeling. She played with the sleeve of her coat while waiting at the corridor, until she heard the screams, giggles and “good-bye’s” from boys getting out of the room. None of them were Eddie, for (Y/N)’s luck. She took a deep breath and exhaled the oxygen.

“It’s just Eddie. Get yourself together, damn it.” (Y/N) told herself before entering the room. She didn’t know if it was the foggy memories of their friendship or what she was about to ask the boy that was making her so nervous. All the time in California, she was never the one who spoke to dealers – hell, she just received the joint between her fingers and smoked. She went in and Eddie was with his back to the door, gathering chairs to their right place.

“I am already leaving, Matthew. I’m just…” He turned to her. “Oh, (Y/N). Didn’t expect to be you.” He seemed astonished. “Like, at all.”

“Yeah, I gather that. It’s been a while.” She closed the door behind her and took little steps closer to him. Although they grew apart, Eddie could never forget those eyes of hers. He even questioned if in the future, they would be his cure to an amnesia or something like that, he knew that as long as he remembered those eyes, he would be okay. “Look, I will cut the small talk. I need something from you and if you’re not the right person, I expect no judgement.”

“You really think, from all the people in this place, I would be the one judging you?” He crossed his arms. (Y/N) pouted and realized he was right, she could never expect that kind of thing from him. “Tell me, then.”

“Well, someone told me that you…May sell weed.” She was afraid she spoke so low that he didn’t hear and the look on his face reassured her of that. “Someone told…”

“I heard, princess. I’m trying to make the synapses to understand why you’re asking me this.” He looked puzzled. “Someone asked you to get that? I don’t make bridge dealing, that can be dangerous, you know? Cops and shit.”

“It’s not for someone, it’s for me.” (Y/N) licked her lips. “Look, I’m just having a shitty week, well, shitty month actually. And I just need a little relief.”

“I can’t believe it! You’re a smoker? A weed smoker!” He had a little grin on his face and (Y/N) arched her eyebrows. “Since when? Who gave it to you?”

“My cousin…During my summer vacation.” She was kind of bothered with all the surprise. She wasn’t so uptight, right? Like, she wasn’t a stoner like the kids she met in California but she clearly wasn’t a prude. “So, do you have it? How much is it?”

“I’m not selling to you.” He shook his head side to side and (Y/N) stood there with her mouth opened.

“What do you mean not selling to me? What’s that supposed to mean?” Eddie could see that she was starting to get mad and God! How he missed her frowning and nose scrunching, the red face and incredible big eyes.

“You’re a talker. One pressure from your mother and you’re telling whoever wants to hear that I deal with this kind of stuff.” She seemed shocked with the assumption. Eddie took a few steps closer to her, until her eyes were in the height of his nose. “I think you don’t even know how to roll.”

“I forgot how infuriating you are, Edward.” (Y/N) commented. “C’mon, you’re really denying money?”

“Let’s do this. You smoke one joint with me, you get high and I don’t get snitched. Sounds like a deal?” He offered his hand to shake. “It’s all or nothing, darling.”

“What guarantees you that I won’t snitch you got me high? Like, what’s different from the scenario of selling me the weed?”

“You won’t have weed laying around your room for your crazy mother to find. One smoke with me, I got some snacks and perfume in the van and you return home like nothing happened. Your mom might even be pleased with you returning home smelling like boy’s cologne!” He joked and (Y/N) rolled her eyes.

“Well, it really seems like I don’t have other choice. Is this or completely freaking out.” She shook hands with him. “I’ll help you clean up here, then.”

“It’s a pleasure making a deal with you, (Y/N).”

After finishing the clean-up, Eddie stopped by his van to “get the holy grail” as he said and suggested to (Y/N) for them to smoke in the woods, considering the sun would set and it was an open-air place. The girl just agreed to anything he suggested, at this point, she couldn’t make any preferences – his denying in selling the thing to her was still scratching her brain. Was she really that much of a snitch? What made Eddie think that low of her? Maybe some years apart from each other could really change someone’s perspective about the other.

“There you go. I’ll let you light it up first.” He delivered the rolled joint to her along with the lighter. A white one.

“Thanks.” She put the thing between her lips and lit it up. Eddie was expecting the girl to cough and inhale wrong but she really seemed to have had some good training while in California. She exhaled the little amount of smoke and a little smile appeared on her lips. “Can I ask you something?”

“Full of questions today, huh?” He supported his two elbows on his knees while she was sitting with her back against the wooden table. They were both facing west, waiting for the sun to go low. (Y/N) gave him an annoyed side eye. “Sure, (Y/N). What is it?”

“Why did we stop hanging out? Like, I have a terrible memory and I’ve been questioning myself this the whole day.” She passed him the joint and took a clear look at him. His long hair and raglan Hellfire Club shirt, (Y/N) couldn’t help but think he grew up to be a good looking boy. She didn’t remember if she had any attraction to Eddie when they were little but right now, she would understand if she did.

“You have a bad memory and you’re smoking weed. It won’t get any better, if I’m really honest with you.” Eddie knocked the joint against the wood for the ashes to fall. “You were the only person I told when I thought about making Hellfire and in the next day, everyone was calling me a freak and all the satanic shit.”

“What? I never told anyone about that!” She looked incredulous. (Y/N) tried to replay the occurring and she remembered making the pinky promise in the video room, in the middle of a history class. A promise to wait for Eddie’s plan, the one where she would be the first in the campaign of his new club. (Y/N) didn’t even understand a thing about D&D but she would support Eddie in whatever he suggested at the time, she really didn’t tell a soul about it.

“Well, who did it then? You were the only one!” Eddie looked at her in a mocking way and saw the girl making the mental puzzle.

“We did the promise in the middle of a class, do you really think nobody heard us? This is Hawkings, for fuck’s sake! This place is a nightmare.” She fixated her look on some tree in the distance. “Is that also the reason you think I’m a snitch?”

“Can you blame me for that? A second ago, I gave you the first credit for making my school life a mess!” Eddie passed her the joint. “I guess someone could have heard us. You made the pinky promise after all.”

“I exchanged the spit one for the pinky promise! I am very offended right now, Munson!” She smoked and Eddie gave out a little laugh.

“I guess I’m apologizing well when giving you some of that to relax.” He pointed to the joint between her fingers. “Why are you smoking anyway? I mean, I love to smoke but I would never recommend it to anyone. Ever.”

“My mom is being, well… A mother. Ever since I told her about the plans of going out of the state for college, I think she didn’t like the idea and then, everything is about how ungrateful I am and a terrible daughter because I’m abandoning them. You get the picture” (Y/N)’s voice suddenly lost the mocking tone and got replaced with an upset one. Eddie nodded slowly with his head. “I just wanted to feel away from these comments and well, I knew this!” She looked at the rolled cigarette.

“She will accept, eventually. Just don’t give up on your plans for her. It’s not fair to you.” Eddie said and (Y/N) looked at him, her eyes had the same warm when in middle school.  “I’m sorry for not giving you the benefit of doubt. I just went logically into the thing and got mad. It was unfair to you and to me, because I really liked you.”

“Thank you! Not sure of how much I remember of everything, but I liked you too.” And I’m rethinking if it was more than a friendship way, she thought to herself. She handed him the blunt for him to finish smoking.

“We could this more often, if you want.” He pointed to the both of them.

“Sure! I would love to.” She smiled at him and Eddie thought he would faint right there. “You can be my miracle aligner more often.”

“I think I like that title.” He said smiling at her and thinking he could finally take his shot with her now they were grown up and more mature than years ago. “C’mon, I’ll take you home.”

[soaringonblackwings]

Legacy of a Dream Ch 1

External: A03

Chapter: 1/4

Summary: One night a vision from the Crimson Dragon spurs Crow into looking into Pearson's death. As his student he feels he should find out the truth. At the end of it all, will he figure out how to continue Pearson's legacy?

Crow tossed around under the covers. A nightmare version of his memory of when Pearson died was replaying in his dreams.

He ran into the burning building. It wasn’t an exact one-for-one recreation of the event. Pearson was nowhere to be found. Amidst the flames there was laughter. A shadowy figure floating about causing a ruckus. Crow couldn’t make out what it was. It was no use trying to follow it as the flames were blocking the way. The fire became more intense causing part of the building to cave in.

Crow shot up, breathing hard. Beads of sweat falling down his face. The tail mark glowing brightly on his arm before dimming down. The last thing he wanted was to relive one of the worsts time in his life while asleep. He didn’t want to recall that memory properly when awake.

“What was that dream…?” He looked at his arm.

-

The day started off relatively normal. Crow got up and got ready for work. Just before that he checked the mail. A letter was addressed to him.

Hey, Crow! I found out you made it to the city! There was only one person I know that could have a name like ‘Blackbird Delivery’. So, I did some snooping around. I hope you don’t mind. It is good to know you are doing well. I know it has been a long time since we met, so this might feel sudden. Once I got my company up and running, I got a grave for Pearson. I know how much he meant to you, so I thought I let you know.

          From, Bolton.

At the end of the letter was directions to the gravesite. It has been a long time since he has ever thought of his mentor and Bolton. He made a note to visit the grave at some point.

Though he did have to wonder about the impeccable timing of this letter. Right after that dream.

Crow let out a yawn preparing for today’s work.

That night the memory played out again. When he ran in, he saw Pearson. He knew it was dream but he still wanted to save his mentor. When Crow got close, the shadowy figure from last time flew between them. It fanned the flames, making the fire spread and rise. A piece of the ceiling came falling down on Crow.

Crow jolted awake. Gasping for air. His right arm once again glowing a dim light. Was the Crimson Dragon trying to tell him something? It had to be because the only other option was that Pearson was trying to reach him from death. For normal people that would be a crazy thought. But for Crow, that possibly had to be a consideration. After two nights in a row of prophetic dreams, he figured it was time to pay a visit to an old friend.

-

He arrived at the graveyard, following the instructions Bolton gave him in the letter. There was a lot he had to tell his old friend. He didn’t think to bring flowers, so he came empty handed.

“Crow is that you?” Hearing a familiar voice, Crow looked up to see another longtime friend.

“Bolton!” Crow shouts.

The two greeted each other.

“Crow, man it has been so long. I am glad my letter reached you.” Bolton said.

“What brings you here.” Crow asks. “I would think a CEO like yourself would be too busy for stuff like this.”

“Aww, don’t be like that.” Unlike Crow Bolton brought flowers. He placed them on the grave. “Let’s talk for a while.”

The duo chatted about the past and their new lives.

“So you are joining the WRPG?” Bolton asked. “If so, I can sponsor your team. I can get you brand new engines and everything you need.”

“Huh, that would be great!” Excited he almost agreed without discussing his team. This could put an end to their engine problem. “Let me talk to my friends first.”

Bolton looked in the direction of Blackbird. “I want to do whatever I can to help you.”

“Thanks Bolton. I’ll get back with you as soon as possible.”

“I should get going.”

“Um Bolton… were you… able to talk to him before his death?” Crow asked. It was silent between the two. Bolton could tell this was hitting Crow hard.

“I was off doing my own thing. I don’t even remember what I said to him before he died.” Bolton placed a hand on Crow’s shoulder. “Let’s work hard to continue what Pearson wanted.”

The two parted ways for now. Crow looked to the sky. His day was just beginning. His next destination was the factory.

Those dreams were recollections of the day he found Pearson burning alive. The key difference between his memory and the dream was the shadow. He did not remember a shadow during the event. He glanced down at his right arm. Just what was it trying to tell him? That was the mystery.

He arrived at the abandoned factory. It was barely standing. This whole place was a danger zone. Fallen beams everywhere. Bad air quality. But there was no choice but to go inside. He had to hope that the mark would give him a clue. Walking in Crow took careful steps over the burnt debris. Further in he recalled all the memories he had in this place.

The mark began to shine when he reached a certain spot. The area began to morph. The walls became fixed and there was no sign of arson. In the vision the shadow monster was attacking Crow’s monster. It was a Blackwing that belongs to Pearson. When the monster attacked, it knocked over an oil lamp setting off the fire. When that happen, the area returned to the present and the mark stopped glowing.

“What was that?” Crow had been paying more attention to the monster than the person controlling it. One thing was for sure; this wasn’t a freak accident. Pearson was murdered. Crow was going to find out who did it.

[nightcall99]

Notes from 31.3.24

A few dreams. In the first dream, I go back to the same Viet lady in her shop to get some fish and chips. I already had it yesterday and wanted it again. Actually now that I'm typing this, I'm getting the message that the only reason it seems like I had it 'yesterday' is because my HS had to replay this dream twice so that I would remember it. Anyway, this time I ordered more food than the day before (it's more the second time round, only for emphasis). Initially the room is dark, none of the lights are on. But then the shop is open for business, only because I am there. I order potato cakes, chips and fish too. I take out my white debit card to pay.

In the second dream, four people are playing a game. Two of them are standing and facing one person who is watching and trying to figure out what the pair are doing. The two have pots of mint plants behind their backs and trimming off sprigs of it, presumably for use. But they are trying to hide the fact that they are doing this from the person who is watching. All the watching person can see, is two people standing tall and smiling broadly. The fourth person, I don't know what they're doing but I sense their presence.

The first dream seems to be about how 3D is only here because I'm still participating. And the second, I dunno, it's the four people thing again. Guess we're playing games.

The thing with food is that now I am acutely aware of how it is a code. Yesterday, I ate like normal. My body was simply hungry and so I ate. A few hours ago, I really wanted to have a meal at McDonald's. Nothing wrong with that, it's just molecules. But the enjoyment of the food would have been secondary. What I wanted foremost was to feel weighed down, for the world to impress upon me, any kind of impression. I didn't care what. Because I didn't like the alienating experiences of today. I wanted emotional satiation, when I can get none. So I didn't get any. When I got home, there was sushi on the counter and I ate that. I don't think it 'did' anything. I don't think anything detrimental happens either way. So why am I mentioning this at all? Just for awareness. Everything, I think, has been an exercise in awareness. I could have had my meal at McDonalds. But fulfillment is out of reach and perhaps, gone forever. I think that this is what lies at the heart of this 'call' to fast. Food is a code and at any given moment, it does what we assign it to do. But on the level of us playing this game, whatever it is that food used to do for us, it can no longer happen. Those options have floated away and have left us here, floating. That's just how it is now.

Today, I suppose, was another chance to fall and believe that none of this is real. I don't think I can fall anymore, just experience these moments where I think I will. In a way, it is a type of exhilaration. I seem to dangle my legs off the building, knowing full well that I am strapped into a parachute. And maybe the sensation of being hundreds of floors up is just an illusion in the first place. We play with illusions all the time. Everything I think, right now, is about seeing through these illusions.

I think I have become extremely cold. I don't cry. I think maybe, crying is a waste of time. I know that it will not do, what it used to do. There's no use trying. I would be more worried if it wasn't because I know that I am the higher self now (just a figure of speech, we have always been the HS, you know what I mean). Yes. I know this. My stoniness is less a reaction to the outside world, and more because I have become inhospitable to the game giving rise from within me. I am like agar jelly in a petri dish. I could grow colonies of bacteria, any type of microbe, if I wanted to. But there are no more variables. No sets of conditions. No hypothesis. No controls. I am not subjecting myself to any of it.

Also, I would be more worried if I wasn't still kind to people. Because I am. In a way, I have become considerably more kind while simultaneously maintaining my cruelty. I think I get it now, just a little bit more than before, exactly how we have played this game. I have ignored my mother since the events of last week, simply because it feels natural. I would be exerting more energy to make things right and maybe that's what resistance is. Things should just be how they already are and if they weren't supposed to be, then they wouldn't. I ignore people but I also pay attention to everyone. I hate the ones I love, realising the ones I love, I should hate. That sentence doesn't even make sense, but it feels right so I'll keep it. I see that I have always been honest in my lying and insincere in my attempts to be truthful. Throughout it all, for some reason I want to be a good person. I would never want to kill anyone, but I see that I could, if I had a sharp knife and was placed in the right pressure cooker of blended spices, rice and meat. I think being human has been nothing but downright terrifying. And to play this one last game and to have no other way to describe it, other than to say that I'm 'cold' and to still use words akin to 'bad' and 'good', when all I wish to do is to detach... just speaks volumes.

[vixlenxe]

It's quieter at night. And that's good, it lets her be alone more with her thoughts & feelings. It the same little spot tucked away from the proper of Costa Del Sol, but not far away enough for wildlife to get too close, almost like a hiding spot.

Which is what Tiffanie wants right now. Somewhere to hide, she can't show her face around anymore, she's quite sure there's someone who doesn't want to see her face anymore anyway. And that's her lament to face. She sits with her knees up, arms around them like a hug, her eyes are looking out towards the sea, but her mind is completely else where. It's not the first, nor is it likely to be the last she replayed what she did in her mind, what she said, & each time she only grows more upset. Angry at herself, & so sad for him. He did not deserve that, Thancred did not deserve that. Hell, her sister is Ivy, & if someone said that to her, Tiffanie feel implied to rip their tongue out... fitting, since that's what she wanted to do to herself right now.

'I'm not another notch for your belt.' 'You thought I was trying to get into your pants already as /another notch for my belt/?'

"Twelve, I'm such a fucking bitch... what's wrong with me...." She presses her face tightly into her knees, her words to... well... herself... coming out muffled as such. "Why did I say that.... he's not like that." That was the real question, why did she say that? Even if he was just playing around with her, he would not... make Tiff another 'notch on his belt'... she really used the worst possible words, didn't she? ... Maybe... she's scared that's all it was... maybe she defaulted to that idea, because if it turned out to be true, it would hurt less. But at what cost? Save herself, but hurt him? That's just not worth it.

He's always been very kind & patient with her... even when he wasn't as patient with Ivy sometimes. He's been a tease lately, but his core towards Tiffanie was kind, caring, & gentle. And this is how she repays him. This was the last thing he deserved from her. He had been kind, gentle... soft... considerate even if a little pushy.... When he's not smirking like a little shit, he had quite kind smiles that were genuine, it was once of those things she liked about him, she saw those just as much the smirks. And when she thinks with a clearer head now back to the moment, though he smirked at first, that expression disappeared & been replaced with softer ones. He had been quite gentle with her the whole time, only as assertive as he needed to be to try & push her out of her shell... even... even the kiss was gentle. She still thinks she can slightly feel it. Then she can remember how his expression totally shifted after she said the worst thing she could... & how quickly any light left his eyes.

"TWELEVE. I AM SUCH A FUCKING STUPID BITCH, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME. HE DIDN'T DESERVE THAT, HE'S NOT LIKE THAT. I. KNOW. BETTER!!!" This time she partially yelled her thoughts outloud, raising her head just so she could smack herself in the forehead more then a few times. If someone told her she have a bruise there the next day, it would not be surprised.

She calms down then her forehead starts hurting, sighing aloud & going back to hugging her legs, resting her chin on her knees. "In an effort to not ruin our relationship with unrequited love, I went & ruined it in an even worse way." She spoke it outloud to herself, disappointed more then anything. Her crushes have never mattered, so having someone act of them... confused & scared her. It's not an excuse, so knows, she'll have to live with what she did & it's consequences... even if that consequence is Thancred never wanting to see her ever again.

She just wants to tell him she's truly sorry. He deserves an apology.

....

Maybe she can say it, but not by mouth, talking was never her strongest suit & her mouth had gotten her in enough trouble. Even if... he doesn't understand it, he probably won't, but she can say it in a way that's impossible for her to mess up.

Purple Hyacinths, yellow roses, foxgloves & rue. 'I'm sorry, I know I broke your heart/betrayed you, my insecurities got the better of me & I regret it.'

... With Diphylleia & red roses. 'The truth is I love you, but I'm scared to admit it.'

Tiffanie could always be wholly honest with flowers.

[liliansun]

day 17/365 of haechan appreciation~

the sunflower urge to gatekeep is strong today (once again)

i'll be honest - i hate writing in anything other than black.

6 questions for a bored/procrastinating sunflower :)... lilac i'm expecting answers btw and i'll share mine below

what are your three favourite hairstyles/hair colours on haechan and tell me why in detail

how would you describe haechan to a friend?

if haechan were a demon, what are the five items (doesn't necessarily have to be 'items' either) you're using in the pentagram to summon him?

6 reasons why you like him? (short answers. bullet points. essays - just give my man some loooove)

if you had haechan as a contact in your phone, what would his contact name be?

what do you think people overlook or may miss about haechan? something you wish he got more credit for? (something like that - 'you may miss at first glance if you're not looking at him the way I am' kinda thing)

fuck. so many options. i want him to do that silver/white hair colour again from superhuman and get appreciated more for it. loved that red on him. purple too...... black. i don't actually know.

i think an actual conversation i've had about him is - *onslaught of photos* he's my baby. what do you think of him? // i approve. he's pretty. // i'm glad you know.

personally - kimchi jjigae, his camera, renjun, bucket hat, anything remotely related to michael jackson.

always wins. incredibly clever and witty. belongs on stage (everywhere) - he just knows where to look/how to act etc. articulate speaker. his smile and laughs. SO RNB ORIENTATED.

here's his options; (1) jjigae (2) beba (3) kiddo (4) baby (5) sunshine sunmine (not really it just came to my head) (6) the reason i'm going to die an early death

he's seriously overworked (not a secret) but i think he thrives from it? like take his hiatus for example - it was like he was restless throughout the whole thing. i think his stage has oddly become his comfort space?

listen, purple is my favourite colour but this just does not feel right.

Listen, having to change my color palette on the app doesn’t make it any better 😭 OKAY OKAY LEMME ANSWER.

1. PURPLE. it’s my favorite color overall so it’s kinda 🤭biased but purple hyuck really has a special place in my heart. Black haired hyuck makes me..feral. Like I literally become another thing I’m not even human atp I might as well be a dog bc I’m barking and howling at the moon for black haired hyuck. Lastly (and I don’t think we’ve gotten this like in actuality but have had a taste of it) I want BLUE HAIRED HYUCK. y’all know Jeno and Nana and even mark ROCK The blue hair,, just let hyuck have it please I’ll literally PAY. 👰‍♀️

2. (This is giving me butterflies just thinking about it) okay how would I describe him to a friend,, I’d probably say he’s the light on the darkest days. His smile instantly brings smiles to everyone around him and he’s funny,,the kind of funny that makes your stomach hurt when you laugh too much. He’s kind and caring and the most considerate person I think I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting yet and boy is he clingy, but if he wanted me to I’d hold him and never let him go and tell him how much he is appreciated and loved and how deserving he is of all he has and will become.

3. IF HYUCK WAS A DEMON PLEASE LET HIM BE MY DEMON PLEASE EITHER HIM OR RENJUN LETS BE HONEST. Ehm I’ll be setting up my lil pentagram w ofc a steaming hot bowl of kimchi jjigae, the nail ring the dreamies wear, a hoverboard from chewing gum, a Michael Jackson vinyl (thriller ofc) and probably doyoung so hyuck has something to do when I’m at work 🤭

4. Only 6?? Okay,, that’ll be hard but I’ll narrow it down. (1) his dedication to his music and performances makes my heart feel full (2) his laugh, oh boy his laugh really just replays in my head whenever I hear it sometime throughout the day on a video or etc. god I love his laugh. (3) the way he loves and takes care of his younger members in nct but also cherishes and absorbs all the love from the older (specifically 127) members. (4) his teasing of his members and even the fans, he just knows which buttons to push and when to stop and I cannot tell you how bad I’ve laughed w this boy just egging the dreamies (5) his entire fucking existence likee 🤕🫶 (6) his voice,, it literally gives me chills and I cannot describe the serotonin boost I get when I see him on my feed,, also his stage presence?? IMMACULATE. FUCKING. IMMACULATE.

5. POOKIE BEAR is one, hyuck 🫶 is another, the bane of my existence (affectionate) is another one I think of a lot, baby daddy is def a crowd favorite and lastly my sun 🫶

6. Honestly I wish people paid more attention to him when he’s feeling dejected and idk if it’s obvious, but he deals w a lot (I’m not him so idk this factually but I think it’s worse w the dreamies) and kinda keeps to himself when he looks like he’s down in his mood and it’s just sad bc people love him and appreciate him but at the same time walk all over him and it’s just sad,, I just think sometimes some things are taken too far and it hurts him more than we know—so I want people to appreciate the fact that he takes shit w a grain of salt when it comes to some things

[crystalelemental]

Fire Emblem Engage!  I am...very pleasantly surprised by this one.  Initial thoughts through Chapter 6 below.

As expressed by many, the story isn’t like...a huge deal.  It’s very much back to basics, in a way that’s like...if you were looking for Three Houses style again, it’s a downgrade, but if you’re familiar with the series has been, it’s nothing we haven’t seen before.

That said, I think they’re building up to Lumiere wasn’t your real mother, you’re the child of the Fell Dragon instead.  She refers to becoming your mother, not being your mother.  One of the antagonists mentioned that she never had a child.  There’s just a lot pointing to “She’s not your real mom.”

Characters have been...better than expected?  Nothing exceptional but I like them well enough.  Framme’s my girl, I really like Celine and Chloe, Yunaka’s fairly interesting.  I wound up liking Louis pretty well, and Alfred isn’t what I expected but I like the guy.  What I think surprises me most is...I kinda like Alear?  They’re not too bad.  Like, their dialogue has gotten a good chuckle out of me a couple times, and their decisions are, for the most part, pretty sane.  Like okay yeah, why are we stopping to fight, let’s just run the fuck away.  Sane move.

Gameplay has been fun.  The engage rings are...kinda bonkers.  Alear and Marth are basically untouchable with all the avoid stacking, and you get a ton of attacks in.  It’s kinda nuts.  I gave the Sigurd ring to Chloe, who is...a metric ton of fun with it.  She’s kind of nuts, having such wild movement range and no terrain considerations, and Canter, and the ability to charge through enemies.  Then there’s Celine and Celica.  Oooooh my god.  Whoever thought Warp Ragnarok was a good idea?  I hope you live a long, prosperous life, because that shit rules.  Warp up to 10 spaces to be near an enemy and cast Explode Kill Die on them.  It’s one-shot like every boss.  I love her.  I haven’t gotten to use Micaiah beyond the initial run with Yunaka, but getting a second staff user and light magic out of the deal is pretty great.  But I’m also like...but Framme though.  Better healing potential.  I dunno, will consider options.

The only thing that seriously frustrates me is the chain attacks.  I don’t understand them at all.  Boucheron seems to be the only one in my army who can do it, but in one chapter, Vander almost got destroyed by a Ridersbane chain attack.  Like it’s kinda nuts how hard that hit.  And I don’t really grasp why it happens.  It’s not my favorite.

What is kinda neat, though, is the way weapon triangle works.  I admit, I am generally a huge hater of Break systems.  But this one’s pretty solid.  You don’t get counterattacked, and you leave the opponent vulnerable to the next combat in this round.  It’s been a great method for helping Framme get some KOs.  And it doesn’t work on enemy phase, so it’s a neat tool to encourage more aggressive plays.

I’ve also noticed that enemies move mostly in packs.  When one is drawn out, usually a whole cluster is, probably to run the threat of chain attacks.  Moreover, the boss seems to move pretty often too.  That’s...pretty unique.  I’m really used to stationary bosses in this series, but quite a few have gotten up and chased.  Which is kinda nice.

The last thing is...man, not to dunk on Three Houses, but that game is like impossible for me to replay.  The academy sections are so long and drawn out and tedious, and I appreciate Engage having a much faster turnaround time to the next map.  There’s still your hub world that’s...fine.  Really, all it’s done for me thus far is get me really, REALLY pissed that they had better costuming decisions that whole time and just...opted not to use them.  You give me one fucking reason the Somniel outfits aren’t standard.  Ugh.  Anyway.  It’s not a bad hub world.  I haven’t felt like I needed to do too much, and it’s, again, a really quick intermission before the next map.  Which I appreciate.

But yeah, first impressions are...way more positive than I expected.  Legitimately, I expected this game to feel really bereft of charm or investment, and I’m pleasantly surprised at how much I’m enjoying it thus far.  There’s always a chance something goes south really fast, but for now, it’s pretty fun.

[benis-chillin]

Backlog Reviews 2024: Metroid Prime Hunters

Platform: DS

June 19th, 2024-August 10th, 2024(didn't finish)

(Note: The only Metroid Prime game I have previously played is Prime 1. Review can be found in THIS post)

(Also, here's the previous backlog entry. I'm adding hyperlinks to all of the posts like, the night before this goes out)

So…This is awkward.

As I've stated before, Metroid is the series that resonates with me just as much as Sonic does. I love the lore, the(2D)gameplay, Samus as a character, it all just clicks with me.

And the PREMISE of this game is absolutely baller! Samus vs a bunch of other, considerably less scrupulous bounty hunters in a cosmic battle royale for an ancient treasure? Sign me up!

But the actual execution? Eh…

Now, I am not entirely unfamiliar with DS FPS'. I still love the DS version of Bionicle Heroes(which the Prime series definitely had an influence on, especially in terms of its BALLER soundtrack which is good for listening to while you read this review)to this very day, and I thought this was gonna be more like that. Hell, I even got the mod that lets me utilize the C-nub and the gyro on my modded 2DS XL, which made aiming in this version a lot of fun…For a few sessions.

But then I ran into the major problem with this game: Nothing really HAPPENS.

(not my screenshot, obviously)

Like, in most Metroid games, stuff is constantly happening. New upgrades and paths are being thrown at you every which way, it's bananas. But here? You've GOT most of your arsenal from the start, and paths rarely lead to anything but yet another artifact, or an attack by a mob of flying enemies that are hard to engage due to the lack of a lock-on feature.

And if you could just hold down the fire button for these sections, it would be fine! But due to the charge beam, which REALLY could've stood to be cut for this entry, you need to constantly tap the fire button to keep on shooting, which was absolute HELL on my carpal tunnel!

Oh yeah, and the mod maps jumping to either the D-Pad or the touch screen, so you can either not move while jumping, or not do anything else while jumping.

So basically…

In addition, the levels are VERY aimless and meandering, not helped by your ship being your only way to save, teleport points to bring you back for a save being VERY scarce, and overall, what little puzzle solving exists in this game is WAY below par.

All of this is piled on top of the game using the same map system as Prime 1, when the touch screen is RIGHT THERE for a real-time map! Why would you make a Metroid game with two screens, and NOT use a real-time map!? And you can only manipulate it via the touch screen, even though the map is on the TOP screen, so my swipes just get massively misinterpreted!

The story…Somehow exists less than the ORIGINAL Prime's narrative did. Like, I barely even register it outside of the, again, baller premise. Prime at least tried to compensate its weak narrative with more scanning stuff, but what I could play of this game showed very little scanning potential. I keep on being told that Prime is peak Metroid, but two games in a row, I have not yet been impressed.

(I'm still gonna give them all a shake, though. Because Metroid)

So yeah, that's my short and sweet review of yet another game I did not finish this year. Well, Fallout New Vegas was more like I lost interest in the path I was currently taking after completing the personal goal I set out for my character, but you get what I mean.

(probably gonna do another New Vegas playthrough eventually. replaying older games between your new games is healthy for the soul, I think)

At least my non-enjoyment of this game got me trying out Super Metroid Redux. I'll give my thoughts on that in the year end post.

3/10

And next up? Well, I'm gonna complete Super Metroid Redux, and my current recording of a Sonic Frontiers let's play first to see if the weather will cool down first(house air conditioning is still out, and the window unit we bought for the kitchen doesn't extend to my gaming area), but by mid-September, I plan on playing Resident Evil 2(original via Gamecube), for at LEAST Leon's story. See ya then!