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poledancingdinos · 1 year ago

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Hostile Territory - Chapter 17

Pairing: Captain Syverson x OFC (Leah Coleman)

Word count: 4K

Warnings: Mentioned character death

Catch up: Series Masterlist

Taglist: @amberangel112 @utterlyhopeful-fics @marantha @kebabgirl67 @littleone65 @omgkatinka @luclittlepond @elizabetharegina @enchantedbytomandhenry @narnianaos @geralts-yenn @peaches1958 @avengersfan25 @sillyrabbit81 @summersong69 @identity2212 @liecastillo @lena-banena @mrsevans90 @confessionbrain-writings @eclecticfashionbookszipper @happydistraction @hannah9921 @valacircareads @toooldforobsessions

Masterlist

A/N: Let's pretend like this isn't a million months late and let's pretend I didn't suddenly forget how to write during my time away.

Day 201

Fifteen days. They were getting fifteen whole days home. They’d just landed in North Carolina and from there, each soldier would head their separate ways. Unfortunately, Leah’s flight to Denver wasn’t until the next day. She would have driven home if the drive wasn’t actually longer than simply waiting sixteen hours for her flight.

She’d planned on spending the night waiting around at the airport but a few men who were in the same situation as her had found a motel for the night and she had to admit that having a place to shower was a big enough appeal to cancel out sleeping in a cramped room with three of the men.

Had their overseas flight not been delayed, Sy would have driven straight down to see his folks. As it was, it was already getting late and he didn’t want to make the five hour trip in the dark. Besides, no one would be awake if he showed up after midnight.

After taking a cab to retrieve his truck where he’d placed it in storage, Sy made his way back to the motel. The men had already made themselves at home and were sharing a few beers on the plastic chairs that surrounded the empty pool.

“How can I help you, dear?” the woman behind the desk greeted him.

“I’d appreciate a room for the night, if ya have one. Just one bed’ll do.”

“Oh… I’m sorry, we’re full up. I assumed you were with all the other boys.”

“Well, ma’am, I am. I just hadn’t planned on stayin’ in town tonight so none of them saved a bed for me.”

The woman looked through the hand written registry again but Sy already knew the answer wouldn’t change from the empty peg board behind her.

“I wish I could help you out but a lovely young woman just checked out the last room. We normally have a four person per room policy but I’ll look the other way if you want to squeeze in with any of your fellow soldiers. The least I can do is make sure the men who serve our country get a roof over their heads when they are back home.”

Sy tipped his head in thanks and walked out of the little office. He pulled the cap down over his head though it didn’t do much to protect him from the light of the setting sun.

It looked like he was going to have to ask one of the boys for a favor. The question was, who did he want to bunk with for the night? On the flight over he’d heard them talking about hitting the bars tonight. Sleeping on the floor might land him in a splash zone if he didn’t choose wisely. He didn’t trust any of them to drink in moderation. Not after that last op.

Garrett had flatlined on the chopper while being transported. They somehow got him back but when they finally got him into surgery, it was already too late. Of the other two that were evac’d, one was expected to make a full recovery and the other would most likely walk with a limp for the rest of his life.

Then there was LT. He had a half dozen broken ribs, a concussion and a collapsed lung but he was also expected to make a full recovery. His injuries were mild all things considered and Sy had almost left him there to die.

“I thought you’d be halfway home by now,” a sweet voice spoke from behind him.

Sy was shocked when he turned to find Leah, who had apparently showered and changed into a pair of leggings and an oversized shirt she’d tied into a knot at her hip. Her hair was still damp but she’d left it loose around her shoulders to air dry. It was his first time seeing her out of uniform and her casual outfit might as well have been expensive lingerie if his dick’s reaction was any indication.

“Didn’t want to drive in the dark. Starting to regret it though. They’re full up so I either bum a spot on someone’s floor for the night or I call around until I find a place with a vacancy.”

Leah made a face like she understood how unappealing both of those options were.

“Well… I’ve got a king bed all to myself.”

Sy swallowed the lump forming in his throat. Was that an invitation or was she just stating a fact? Not that Leah was the kind of person to add salt to a wound but surely she wasn’t implying what he annoyingly hoped she was implying.

Leah pulled on an old USMC crew neck, causing her shirt to lift up and expose the skin of her stomach. The sweatshirt was well worn and the tip of the sleeves were frayed where she rolled them up. The state of the fabric made Sy believe that the shirt had most likely belonged to her father and he decided to forgive the insult of wearing something meant for a jarhead.

“I was going to pick up some snacks and juice from around the corner since I hadn’t planned on going out. I think there was a liquor store too.” Leah reached into the pocket on the side of her leggings and handed a small key ring to Sy. “How does pizza, beer and half a king bed sound?”

It sounded like perfect bliss and asking for trouble all wrapped into one.

Sy took the key, seeing a small number twenty etched into the plastic. He looked back at the motel, studying the numbers on the doors.

“It’s the room above the office. The stairs that lead to the door are on the side since it’s a separate structure from the rest of the rooms.”

That was good. If Sy was lucky, no one would notice that he was sharing Leah’s room.

And no one would hear her scream his name if he fucked her into the mattress.

Shit. Not a good train of thought if he wanted to make it through the night in the same bed as Leah.

“I’ll order while you’re gone. Unless you want me to drive?”

She shook her head, her dark brown locks moving in the breeze.

“I need to stretch my legs after that flight. I’ll be back in forty-five, maybe an hour tops.”

With that, Leah was off. Sy hurried to his truck for his duffle then up the steps to the room. The first thing he needed was to clean the twenty-some-odd layers of dust and dirt off his body. After placing a quick order with a local pizzeria he found in the phonebook, he stripped out of his clothes and stepped into the shower.

The bathroom was still humid from when Leah had been in there earlier so he didn’t shut the door all the way. The fan was on but Sy was pretty sure it’s only function was to make noise.

Thirty minutes and half a tiny bar of soap later, Sy deemed himself as clean as he was going to get and switched off the now tepid water.

He was in the process of drying himself off when the hotel room door opened and shut with a slam. He hadn’t left it unlocked, he hadn’t left any door unlocked since he left his parents’ house at eighteen which meant Leah was back and she’d let herself in with a second key.

Scrambling to cover himself up, Sy realized he hadn’t taken his clean clothes out of his pack. He wrapped the towel around his waist but it was too short to stay put on its own, forcing him to hold the ends together. There was no way he could walk out like that.

“Coleman?”

“Yeah, it’s just me.”

“Would ya mind bringin’ me my bag?”

At the same moment a knock sounded from the door.

“Fuck. That’ll be the food.”

Leah came into view through the crack in the door, setting Sy’s bag by the ground.

“It’s fine, I’ll get it.”

“No, you paid for drinks, I’ll get the food, just let me find my wallet.”

Another, more insistent, knock came from the door and Leah ran over to open it, exchanging a short greeting with the delivery man.

Sy crouched by his bag, pulling the door open another few inches as he rustled through the pockets. He was getting nowhere with one hand, eventually pinching the thin cotton of the towel in the crease of his hip to free up his left hand.

“Fuckin’ finally,” he grumbled when his hand wrapped around the worn leather of his bill fold. He pulled out three bills, holding them up for Leah to take.

Leah made a choked sound when she caught a glimpse of Sy’s body only shielded by a barely there towel. She snatched the money from his hands with a mumbled thanks before averting her eyes and running back to the door.

Sy dressed in thirty seconds flat, exiting the bathroom right as Leah opened a bottle of rum and poured a generous amount in one of those individually packaged plastic cups that were as small as the soap. She lifted the drink to her lips, downing the whole thing in one go before filling it again.

“What are we drinkin’?” he asked as he came to stand a little too close to Leah.

“Beer or rum.” She cleared her throat, putting some distance between them as she opened the pizza boxes. “What are we eating?”

“Meat or meat.”

He really hoped she didn’t have anything against pepperoni, sausage or bacon because he had gotten one deluxe and one four meat pizza. When ordering, he hadn’t considered that she might follow a specific diet when was home.

His worries were abated when Leah opened both boxes on the dresser, dexterously swapping half of the deluxe pizza for half of the all meat one before closing the box again and taking the other over to the bed. The room didn’t have a table or chairs so it was as good a spot as any to sit and eat.

Sy took over making Leah’s rum and coke, which she’d abandoned when Sy’s closeness had made her brain malfunction, then opened a bottle of beer for himself.

“So, where are you headed from here?” Sy asked, handing Leah her drink then taking a massive bite of the deluxe pizza. It looked like he barely chewed it before he went in for a second and third bite.

“I’m going to stay at our old house. My brother decided to move into an apartment after receiving his residency match to be closer to work so it’ll just be me, myself and I for the better part of the next two weeks.”

She tried to hide it, but Sy could tell she was disappointed. Who could blame her? Caleb was the only family she had left and she would get forty-eight hours with him after so long apart.

“What about you? You mentioned your siblings and your parents… is there an ol’ lady somewhere in that mix?”

Sy’s head snapped up, pausing halfway through chewing his bite. She wasn’t looking at him, instead keeping her eyes on the drink as she swirled the contents around her cup.

“What makes ya think I have a wife or even a girlfriend waitin’ back home?” His tone was harsher than he’d intended but he was a little offended by what she was insinuating.

She kept her eyes downcast as she shrugged. Her lips were pursed from the way she nervously chewed the inside of her cheek. Maybe it wasn’t so much an accusation as it was her way of tiptoeing into the subject.

“Hey…” Sy waited until Leah dared to look up before he continued. “I’m no saint,” he admitted, his voice soft, “but I ain’t a cheat. If I had someone waitin’, she’d be it for me.” Not everyone considered kissing cheating but his ever growing feelings would definitely constitute infidelity. Leah’s eyes flickered from left to right, studying his face as she considered his words before finally giving a little nod of acceptance.

There was a tense silence as she picked up another piece of pizza, leaving her crusts in the box. Had Aika been with them, he would have given them to her as a treat. He was surprised how much he found himself to be missing the pup.

He’d found a shelter that helped send strays overseas for them to be adopted. They’d been willing to look after Aika until they returned and he’d arranged for them to give her all the shots she needed to keep her safe and eventually allow her into the States. They’d asked if he wanted them to help get her home right away but he couldn’t imagine going back to a life on base without his four-legged shadow.

Watching from the corner of his eye as she ate, Sy went over the speech he’d been preparing in his head the whole flight home. He knew what he wanted to say but for some reason the words kept getting caught in his throat. They had expertly avoided the subject the last two months on base but it was time for him to suck it up and say what needed to be said.

“I never apologized.” Leah’s head tilted to the side as she looked at him. She was still working on a mouthful of food but the little motion was enough to convey what she was thinking.

“For kissin’ you,” Sy clarified. “It should never have happened. You were hurt and vulnerable then I went and put ya in a position where ya probably felt like ya couldn’t say ‘no’. I let my personal feelings get the best of me and I accept full responsibility for that. I’m really sorry.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, staring down at her drink.

Noticing her glass was empty, she moved off the bed to the improvised bar. She appreciated Sy’s apology. The circumstances under which he had acted were indeed quite poor, but at the same time, she understood what had pushed him to act—it was the same instinct that had pushed her to go after Niki, career be damned. It was terrifying to think that Sy felt so strongly about her, but it was even more terrifying that she desperately wanted him to.

She took her time fixing her drink, using the break in conversation to gather her courage.

On the bed, Sy was beginning to grow anxious. With her back turned, he couldn’t tell what was going through Leah’s head as the silence stretched on. He foolishly hoped she was gathering the courage to ask for a repeat but for all he knew, she could also be gathering the courage to ask him to leave.

It didn’t go unnoticed that maybe it also hadn’t been the best of plans to apologize when the two of them were stuck in a room with only one bed but it was already well overdue.

He also probably shouldn’t have agreed to share the room in the first place.

What had he been thinking? Even if his head knew to keep his hands to himself, the brain between his legs had a completely different idea of how to spend the next ten hours. He probably wouldn’t sleep a wink out of fear that he would drift off, roll over and grind his dick right into her ass.

He was just about ready to go spend the night in the bed of his truck when she spoke in a soft, unsure voice. He’d never heard her sound so meek.

“When you kissed me, there was a second there where I didn’t really understand what was happening. Everything was a little foggy, like I was in a dream.”

It no doubt felt like a dream because of the concussion. He hadn’t even considered how confused she must have been in addition to being tired, in pain and in a closed room with her superior who was suddenly getting handsy.

“But it wasn’t a dream," Leah finally said. “You were really there. Really holding me. Really kissing me.”

It was his turn to stand, coming to a halt a safe distance behind Leah. There was a small mirror on the wall which now allowed him to study her face in the reflection as she peeked up and did the same.

He’d replayed their kiss in his head so many times since that night. He’d begun to question whether he had only imagined those few blissful moments when Leah had kissed him back before she got spooked.

“A part of me was ecstatic,” feeling hopeful, Sy took a careful step forward and Leah turned to face him, “but another part of me was terrified.”

Shit. “Why?”

“Well, you’re my superior. I don’t need to explain why that’s a horrible idea.”

No, she didn’t. He’d thought about that every day since he’d first met the feisty young woman. But he had the feeling that was not the only factor. Sy took another step, making Leah’s breath hitch from the proximity. “And?”

Leah went back to chewing the inside of her cheek, looking away. Suddenly losing his nerve, Sy moved back, clearing the empty paper plates and pizza box from the bed. He wasn’t sure he could hear her reasons for not wanting him.

“It’s okay, ya don’t have to tell me. I’ll get outta here and let ya get some rest.”

He was disappointed, but what had he expected? That she would confess her undying love for him and that suddenly everything would be all fine and dandy?

Sy moved to his duffle, packing up the clothing items that had fallen onto the floor of the bathroom as he’d dug through it.

The sudden fear of watching Sy walk away was enough to convince Leah to speak.

“Please don’t go.”

Sy froze, surprised by her rushed plea. He slowly straightened, making his way back to Leah where she dropped onto the bed, hugging herself tightly. Sy longed to be the one to comfort her but he didn’t want to risk pushing her too far. Again.

“I really wanted to kiss you but then I started to worry that maybe you were expecting… more.”

That made Sy pause, crouching in front of Leah. “What exactly did ya think I was expectin’?”

“I— I don’t know.” She sniffled, shaking her head before wiping her cheek on the back of her hand. “It seemed like every time I got hurt I got a bedside visit from you and that night… You had this look in your eye like you thought you’d never see me again. You can’t blame me for thinking that there was something more than kissing on your mind.”

Just like that, Sy was back on base, reliving the most terrifying events of his life. Whenever he thought back to that night he’d been so focused on his stupidly impulsive decision to kiss a soldier under his command that he had almost forgotten about the op. Or maybe he’d just had a selective memory that preferred to remember the softness of her lips over the way she’d been so completely still when he found her unconscious.

“When I walked in and saw ya on that floor, I was convinced that I’d lost ya. I kept thinkin’ of all the things that I wished I’d said then, when ya woke up, I still couldn’t speak a single fuckin’ word so I— I didn’t think, I just acted.”

“Can you... tell me now?”

Sy swallowed the lump in his throat feeling his palms start to sweat. All the stress was coming right back but this time, he was determined to make it through. He took Leah’s hands in his.

“You’ve been on my mind since the first moment I saw ya. I liked that you didn’t take any shit from anyone. And since then… Fuck, I’ve just been falling hard. You make me feel understood in ways I've never experienced before. You make me feel like— Like I’m good enough.”

Leah looked down at their joined hands. “What if I can’t be enough? What if I can’t give you what you need?”

At first Sy thought she meant a relationship but when she unconsciously glanced down to the bed, Sy began to put the pieces together.

“Leah,” it was still foreign to use her first name, “does sex make ya uncomfortable?”

“Sometimes.” She tried to pull away but Sy didn’t let go. He caught her eye, giving her a look that clearly meant to cut the bullshit. “Okay, a lot of the time. Even if guys are willing to wait, they tend to expect sex at some point down the line and I can’t guarantee that I’ll ever be into it.”

“And ya think that’s a deal breaker for me?” He had to admit that, although he was used to going long periods of time on his own, he’d assumed sex would be on the table when he was home.

“Well, you are Captain ‘Pussy-is-on-the-food-pyramid’ Syverson.”

Sy winced, running a hand over his cropped hair. He hadn’t meant the question as an accusation but her defensiveness was understandable.

“Yeah, okay, I can see where you’re coming from but it ain’t like that. There’s no fun in it if my girl don’t like it.”

Noticing she was still skeptical, Sy lifted the hem of his shirt. When Leah didn’t make a move to stop him, he guided her hand to his chest, holding it flat over his scar. “I learned the hard way that thinkin’ with my dick gets me nowhere good. I’ll give all that up in a heartbeat if it means I get a shot at somethin’ real.”

Leah traced the lines of his scar. She remembered it perfectly though she hadn’t dared ask about it when they’d been in his room on base.

“You think I’m something real?” she whispered.

Releasing her hand, Sy brushed Leah’s hair out of her face and kissed her temple.

“Yeah, I do.”

It was obvious that Leah was still scared of the possible repercussions. After all, she had every reason to be worried about the impact a relationship could have on her career. Leah was still young, she had a lot to learn about what she wanted in life and a lot to lose should anything go wrong. As much as Sy wanted to pull her to him and kiss her until she couldn’t think of anything else, Leah needed time to make a decision.

Looking at her more closely, Sy took in the dark circles under Leah’s eyes and the way her cheeks looked more sunken than ever before. She’d been a wreck after Niki and with good reason. The caveman in him felt better knowing that he’d fed her but she was still in desperate need of a good night’s rest.

He would have to put a pin in the conversation until they got back to base.

“What time’s your flight?”

“Eight.”

“Then you need to get some sleep.” Sy stood, pulling Leah up with him. She didn’t argue, simply grabbing her pack and heading into the bathroom. Meanwhile, Sy cleaned up the leftover pizza, managing to fit the box in the mini-fridge. He shut the curtains and switched off the main light, leaving only the bedside lamp on. After a moment of hesitation, he removed his shirt, keeping his shorts on, and climbed into bed.

Leah joined him a moment later, and to his surprise, she wrapped herself around him from behind. She’d changed into something sleeveless and the feeling of her bare arms over his skin nearly made him groan.

“You’re warm.”

“Na Sugar, your hands are just freezin’.” He intertwined their fingers together, happily sharing his body heat.

Leah smiled to herself at the easy way the endearment fell from his lips. Just for one night, she would let herself enjoy Sy’s company. For one night, she would pretend that he wasn’t her captain. For one night, she would pretend she wasn’t terrified he would eventually get sick of waiting for something that might never happen.

Sy woke the next morning to a shiver running down his spine. He sensed Leah’s absence immediately and he didn’t need to look around the room to know that she was gone.

Chapter 18

#captain syverson #captain syverson fic #captain syverson fanfiction #captain syverson fanfic #henry cavill #cpt syverson x ofc #cpt syverson fanfiction #cpt syverson #cpt syverson fic #cpt syverson fanfic #captain syverson x ofc

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spiderplanter · 2 months ago

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Story Time‼️

This story is dedicated to the lovely @laugh-and-love2

These spunky characters recall a whimsical, laughter filled night they had a few moons ago and enlightening you, the reader on what exactly went down that night.

Hope you all enjoy! I had so much fun writing this :) without further ado, I introduce to you

Friendly Shenanigans

✰

Our little Lee told us they wanted it to be a surprise, said they didn’t want to see it coming. As my fellow Ler and I recieved this information, it was only right that we started scheming immediately. After days of configuring just how to get them truly when they least expected it, the plan we had come up with was brilliant and thought to perfection. Every possible kink had been accounted for and backed up, schedules were rearranged to a T. All that it came down to was the time left before our poor little lee succumbed to their fate.

We marked our calendars for Halloween night in the name of all things fun and spooky and that’s when our lee’s guard will certainly be down. But before we continue, I shall introduce us, silly of me to forget. My name is Cypress, and I am a ler. my partner is Banks, he just recently came out as a switch, previously ler. Kai is our lovely little lee that we’ve had the blessing of teasing and tickling the shit out them of for years. Our friend group formed way back in second grade when Kai threw a crayon at me for literally no reason and Banks jumped in to stand up for me. No harm, no foul, and we ended up hitting it off together and we’ve been inseparable ever since.

Kai came up to us a year ago and confessed their liking about tickling. They were really nervous about telling me and Banks but we accepted them and thoroughly researched for the proper equipment and techniques to accurately wreck Kai to the best of our ability. Since we’re full blown adults now with free will and our own money, it’s safe to say we splurge to make it the best experience for everyone, especially Banks. He goes above and beyond especially this time around. No expenses were too drastic.

We’d planned for months to pregame at my house before we head to our all time favorite haunted house that we go to every year as a tradition, and we did just that. A bottle of whisky and two pre rolls later, we’re all crossfaded, getting in our Uber on the way to the haunted house.

Banks’ POV:

This is probably mine and Cypress’ greatest plan yet. I know a guy who knows a guy who volunteers at the haunted house and after some very passionate convincing, the staff agreed to build a separate spooky room for us. I went by last night to check it out and it is flawless.

*Pause from the story* when you think of this room, I want you to imagine Dr. Thredson’s basement in the Asylum season of American Horror Story. Something along those lines. *Continue story*

I’m so excited to see this all play out! I think Cypress and I are both getting more antsy the closer we get to the haunted house, I can feel the vibes but praying that Kai doesn’t catch on. We’re here. It’s go time.

The line is fairly long but not too much of a wait. Plenty of time to tease Kai until we’re able to go in. Thirty minutes pass and we’re next in line. After many side eye exchanges with Cypress, we lock arms on either side of Kai and stroll right on in. Keep in mind, this haunted house is three stories high and our special detour is at the very end.

After many jumpscares, our adrenaline was at a moderate level, and instead of taking the exit everyone else was, we pointed out what looked to be a dark room with a subtle red light peeking through the door. Cypress and I suggest to Kai that we go explore it. Curiosity peaked, “Let’s go for it!” Kai said. Mistake number one.

We all split up to different corners of the room as I shut the door as quietly as possible before switching on the warm and cozy lights, admiring all of the detail and hard work that they put into it, also wondering why they left it out of the whole haunted house experience. Glancing over at Cypress, we both mentally agreed that it was time to start. “Hey, we should take some pictures in here! They’d turn out super cool”, said Cypress. “Great idea! Kai, do you wanna go first?”, I chimed in. “Uhhh.. sure”, Kai mumbled, growing a little suspicious but swiftly sliding onto the edge of the bed to pose for the camera.

“NOW!” Cypress yelled. I lightly pounce on Kai to pin them down to the bed while Cypress goes around restraining their limbs to each corner of the bed. Damn, Kai is giving me a run for my money the way they’re flailing around trying to buck me off. After Kai is secured, I get up and pivot over to Cypress to give her a high five and bask in our success.

Kai’s POV (train of thought) :

*O-oh fuck. I really didn’t see this coming, this is INSANE. *How did they plan this and HOW did I fall for it??* “Guys c-come on now, we can settle this a-another day!” *looks over at the wall of tools and further restraints. “GUYS! We can’t do this here, everyone will hear us!!” *Fuck I’m so screwed. They have every single tool, some I’ve never even seen before. Why did I tell them to surprise me, that was so stupid! How can I convince them to let me go?*

Cypress’ POV:

I can’t believe we actually pulled this off. Every second of stress leading up to this moment was completely worth it. “Hear us? There’s music blasting out there mixed with screams of horror. Nobody is going to hear us or even bat an eye if they do, they’ll simply think it’s part of the attraction. Just face the fact that you’re vulnerable, all pretty and tied up for us. Nobody is going to rescue you, so you might as well just accept that now darlin! You’re not getting out of here until we say you can.” I say looking down at Kai pulling the restraints rapidly. “Let’s get started, shall we?” I state, looking at Banks. “Let’s.” Banks replied.

To further the anticipation, we both walk over to the tool wall and start pointing at random, discussing which tools are best for each body part and how effective they might be for Kai, making sure to converse only loud enough for Kai to hear and get flustered.

Eventually I pick up a lovely, long, and stiff feather to start off with. Banks grabs an electric toothbrush and a bottle of baby oil. As we slowly start walking over to Kai, they get more and more restless. “Banks, I don’t think there’s enough skin showing, we should remove some items. What do you think?”, I ask dragging my freshly manicured nails from Kai’s ankle, all the way up to their hips before I give a quick taser. “I have to agree with you Cypress, there’s far too little skin exposed for my liking. So how about we just-“.

Banks says, as he leans down to cut off Kai’s shirt with a pocket knife, starting at the waist and cutting a line straight up to the neck and pulling the fabric from underneath them. Now that Kai’s whole upper body is exposed, all they could do was lay there with their eyes tightly shut just waiting for the ticklish sensations to commence.

“So many places to start, I’ll let you have first dibs“. Banks whispers to me. My eyes light up in excitement and hesitation because I truly can’t choose what spot I’d like to wreck first. Armpits it is. I run back over to the wall to grab another feather. Kai’s restraints are a tad loose for my liking so I straddle their arms for minimum mobility and start lightly tracing both feathers, alternating between the soft tip and the quil in Kai’s insanely sensitive hollows. I’m telling you, I could just hover my fingers over them and Kai would instantly be a squirmy puddle of giggles.

“C-C-CYPREHEHEHES PLEASE NOOHO ANYWHERE BUT THERE AAHAHAHAH” Kai pleaded, already struggling to catch his breath.

“Awe is my little lee already begging because it’s too much? I’m sorry to break it to you but I’m just getting started, and this is the least intense it’s going to get.” I tease, looking up at Banks to signal that he should jump in and start.

Banks’ POV:

Damn, looking at how adorable Kai is thrashing around like that, I’m just thankful I’m not in their position because Cypress is no joke when it comes to wrecking someone. She’s ambitious, teasy as hell, and knows exactly what spots are deadly and can exploit said spots very very well. I know first hand just how cruel she can be but also so nurturing and will never take you past your breaking point. She’s very good about reading when you have or haven’t had enough and I really admire that about her. I take pride in knowing that we are alike in that sense.

As Cypress looks up at me, I’m snapped out of my thoughts and take a second to decide where I’d like to start. I think it would be fun if I join Cypress and go for their neck/ collarbone and ribs. As I straddle Kai’s waist, I open the bottle of baby oil and lather a fair amount all over, starting from the back of Kai’s neck all the way down to their waist. I pull the toothbrush out of my pocket and turn it on, lowering it to the back of Kai’s ear. Every time they turn their head and pull away, I just move to the other side of their head. No amount of head ducks and scrunching can get Kai away from the vibrations.

Growing bored of the current spot, I travel down to the collar bones and a new pitch of giggles erupt from Kai. Cypress and I both stop tickling to tease them about it. “Oh my god, Kai, that was absolutely adorable, I need to hear that again!” I say giving a few scratches to their ribs while doing so. Cypress chimes in, “Enough talk, press that tickle button again”. As I turn the toothbrush back on and place it exactly where I left off, the same giggles started pouring out and both Cypress and I were just infatuated. They sounded like when you’re getting chased and the anticipation laughter just slips out but you can’t help it.

“Guuhuhuhuys, please move.. I’m beheheging.. I tap ohohohut!!” As we both get off of Kai to give them a break, we both step back over to the tool table and plan what we wanted to do next. And before you guys start freaking out, Kai said they tapped out but that’s not our safe-word, so we know we didn’t go overboard. Kai is very strong and can endure quiet a bit of tickling. He even told us straight up one time that begging just means continue.

“I think I’m going to stick with my hands this next round.” Cypress stated. “You know what, that’s a good idea, I’m going for the legs and feet next, you?” I ask but before she could reply, Kai shouts out “O-okay I’m ready now!”. Cypress gave them a thumbs up and whispered to me, “I’m going for the tummy”. She winked and nudged my shoulder, doing a little dance before creeping back over to Kai.

Kai’s POV:

Fuck they’re walking back over and I’ve never been more scared or excited before. I’m actually really enjoying myself but I can’t let them know that because then it’ll result in endless teases and I just can’t bear that heat. Ahh oh my god.. Cypress is straddling my waist and I saw just a sliver of Banks before he knelt down behind her, this is going to be the end of me. I’m already shaking against the restraints waiting to feel something, anything. This is absolute torture and they’re just eating it up. As I close my eyes to embrace for impact, I’m jolted back to reality as I feel Cypress pull my pants down slightly and tracing her index fingers along my waistline. It’s sending electric current up to my brain and I can’t help but thrash around, given the little wiggle room I have.

I enter silent laughter as I feel five nails on each foot starting from the heels right up underneath my toes. The feeling is overwhelming but so comforting, my brain is short circuiting trying to process all of these feeling but ultimately, my brain melts into nothing but the sound of my laughter. No coherent thoughts can form in my brain and I’m not mad about it. Just when I think the tickles couldn’t get more intense, I feel Cypress start to trace big circle around my tummy, slowly spiraling in until she digs into the depths of my belly button. As I’m now bucking up and down trying to get her finger out, she slips not one, but two pillows under my back, eliminating what wiggle room I had. My belly button forced to accept her vibrating finger, I can feel every inch of it inside and it’s absolutely unbearable that I can’t do anything about it, but also why would I want to ya know?

I start begging her to take the finger out and milliseconds before I tap out, she mercifully pulls it out, but starts spidering all over my sides and ribs. While that is equally very, VERY fucking ticklish, I feel Banks massaging baby oil all over my feet and knees. My god I’m done for. For some reason they both raise their hands at the same time and just look down on me. As I’m trying to catch my breath, my face turns to an unnatural shade of red, because help.. why are they looking at me?.. all of a sudden Banks starts counting down.

5…4…3…2… suddenly my brain overrides once again with these ticklish sensations. I throw my head back starting to wheeze and fall back into silent laughter. Cypress is pushing all ten of her fingers between my rib bones that are sticking out so much due to the TWO pillows.. out of pocket Cypress. Banks has pulled out a hairbrush, scrubbing it up and down my left sole as he’s spidering the back of my right knee. I’m pulling as hard as I can to curl up but it seems as if they had tightened the restraints even more.

Randomly my body relaxes and I open my eyes to look up at Cypress and why the tickling had come to a halt, only Cypress isn’t looking at me, she and Banks are looking at the door for some rea- Oh. My. God. There are two strangers standing in the doorway. I immediately look away with tears in my eyes out of embarrassment and I had never felt so vulnerable and on display before.

Trying not to get too worked up over it, I hear Cypress ask them if we could help them. All I hear is one of them asking curiously what we were doing. Cypress explained we were just playing a fun little game and broadly explained to them what was happening. They both seemed genuinely intrigued and asked if they could join us. I feel a slight scratch on my side causing me to jump up a little and jolt my head to look at Cypress. She sees the tears pouring out now and she cups my face, wiping my tears away. “If you’re uncomfortable with that, we can have them leave but we’re down to let them stay, only if you are.

I sit there contemplating a second before answering. “Only if you explain my boundaries and tell them to keep it light, and only because they genuinely seem curious.” Ugh what did I just get myself into… they come into the room and sit down on either side of me as they introduce themselves. “Hi, I’m Blue.” , Hello! I’m Clarke.” They both state. Cypress introduced all of us and started going over the small details to make sure nothing crosses anyone’s boundaries. After everything is settled and I’m ready to get back into it, Cypress and Banks stay in their positions while Clarke straddles my arms and Blue sits on my shins to go for my knees.

As I’m questioning if this will be a sensory overload with all of my spots being exploited simultaneously, two by people I don’t even know yet, I brace once again for impact and throw my doubt out of the window because this will be a new experience, good or bad and we can all learn from it. I feel them start one by one, Clarke digging lightly into my armpits, causing my giggles to slowly bubble out. She’s suspiciously tickling very well in my opinion. She has long black nails and boy are they effective.. sure enough, I feel cypress start spidering all along my torso to the best of her ability, which is expert level. My giggles turning into steady laughter now, as I’m growing used to the sensation, I feel Blue’s short and dull nails sketching little doodles on my knee caps and occasionally switching to spider the hollows of my knees. Now that I’m deep belly laughing and pulling at the restrains, I feel Banks take a feather between and around my left toes and an electric toothbrush to my right.

They keep this up for what feels like hours before they all start rotating between spots, each set of hands bringing a new level of ticklishness to each of my spots I didn’t even know was possible. Surely it can’t get worse right? Wrong. I feel my limbs set free, low key disappointed that it was over. That was until Banks went over to the wall and opened a secret compartment with a whole lot of rope. I was too distracted and confused to even move but nonetheless, Cypress laid her dead weight on top of me so I couldn’t run for it. Next thing I know, I’m being picked up and carried to a platform shaped like an X and I’m being tied up to it, my body so taught I can’t move a single inch.

Clarke and Blue sat this one out because they wanted to see just how crazy this could get, and they knew they’d just get in the way. As Banks moves behind me, he places both hands on my armpits and slowly spidering and kneading up and down the length of my upper body. Meanwhile Cypress is taking her nails and a feather to my inner thighs and it’s driving me insane. “Can you guhuhuys p-plehehease go f-AHAHAHA.” I didn’t even have to finish my sentence before they gained speed and accuracy to each nerve. With every stroke feeling like they’re on fire in the best possible way, I forget that Blue and Clarke are in the corner taking notes.

After a few minutes of this absolute torture, they stop and offer Clarke and Blue to step in and take over. To my defeat, they accepted without hesitation. As they’re hovering over me now, kind of unsure where to start, Banks and Cypress start directing them, spilling all of my worst tickle secrets. All of a sudden Banks and Cypress come back to demonstrate. Cypress grabs Clark by the arm and leads her to my thighs. As they lean down she takes her hand and places it firmly on the absolute most sensitive spot right in the middle of my inner thigh and tells her to squeeze firmly and rapidly. AAAAAAAAHAHAHA I scream out and suddenly Banks takes Blues hands and places them on my hips, telling her to scratch, knead and poke all over. “STOHOHOHOP TELLING THEHEM EVERYTHIHIHIHING GUHUYS.” I scream out. “Oh but we know you love this too much for them to stop, cutie.” Clarke stands up to whisper in my ear. Going to sit back down, I’m left with them using two of the most effective techniques on me. Banks adds on, “There’s also a death spot right above either side of their top ribs and if you dig your thumbs in and rub circles intothem, it’ll cause Kai to beg and plead, and you’ll get the tastiest raspy howling laughter out of them, go ahead and give it a try. NOOOOHOHO BANKS PLEEHEHESE I scream out.

“Right here?” Blue asks, placing his thumbs down firmly. “Up to the left a little, up a little more, just a hair to the right. There you go! Right there!” Clarke adds. The anticipation is too much, just do it already I’m thinking to myself. And before I could form another thought, that’s the only sensation I can feel now and I can’t help but fall limp while keeping control but my body betrays me, emitting the exact laughter Banks said I would. “TAP OUT, TAHAHAHAP OOUUT!” I yell at the top of my lungs, appreciating that they stopped instantly. As they’re letting me go, I go back over to the bed to lay down and catch my breath once more.

I’m too embarrassed to tell them I do want some more but I need a water break or something. Conveniently, Banks hands a water bottle to Clarke to bring over to me. I sit up and chug about half of it. Meanwhile they’re all circled around me conversing about how fun this is and how I’m too adorable for their own good.

Minutes later, I gain the courage to tell them I’m ready for another round. This time Banks jumps behind me and manually restrains me. He pulls me up on top of him and wraps his arms around mine to hold them back, also wrapping his legs around mine to keep them pinned down to the bed. Clark straddles my waist while Cypress and Blue take one foot each. Before Clarke begins, I feel my toes being stretched and held back before I feel rapid spidering all over, sending my mind into overdrive again, but I’ll never get tired of that feeling. Suddenly, Banks manages to lift my hips up so Clarke can lightly skidder her fingers on the small of my back and simultaneously give my belly button raspberries and tasering my side and ribs with her free hand. AAHAHAHAH- my howling laughter falls silent as I’m thrashing around the most I have tonight. For some reason this position is the worst by far. I don’t know if it’s because there’s a small chance of getting free, or the fact that I’m this easily restrainable. Either way it’s so flustering and I’m rendered helpless at their mercy. After a couple hours that felt like centuries, I start to see stars and my lungs and throat are feeling raw now.

. “DAMN GUHUHUHUYS… RED LIGHT, RED LIGHT.”

Everyone drew their hands away immediately and I curl up into a ball to recover and suddenly jump a little as I feel hands on my back but it’s just Banks trying to bring comfort and rub away the phantom tickles, which I appreciate. Cypress, Blue, and Clarke sitting on the edge of the bed having a small talk conversation while I catch my breath.

After several minutes, I sit up and join them to say how much fun I had and thanking Cypress and Banks for planning such a fun night. We stayed for a while, getting to know Blue and Clarke further. After mutually agreeing to get out of there, we walk out to see the haunted house was completely empty. Looking at the time, it was 3 a.m. after stepping outside, I take a deep breath of fresh air, soon after, we exchanged numbers and headed our separate ways.

As the three of us got into our Uber, I laid my head on Banks lap and propped my legs up on Cypress to get a quick power nap as Cypress started rubbing and scratching my back. They usually don’t mind when I do this. Before drifting off I ask, “Can we do this again sometime? Especially with Blue and Clarke?”. “Of course we can love, anything for you, you precious little tickle big.” Cypress replies. I immediately drift off to there dream world.

As the car starts up to bring us back home, Banks pulls out his phone to text Blue and Clarke, “Ya’ll free next weekend? We HAVE to do this again!”. They both replied with an “Absolutely, count us in!”. And from that point on, it was all of us together having the absolute best time. Once Clarke and Blue got more familiar with the tickle world, Blue identified as a ler, and Clarke a switch.

The End.

#tickle content #tickle thoughts #tword community #ler #tickle scenarios #tickle fluff #tword blog #tword content #lee #sfw twords #tword stuff #sfw tickle content #sfw tk blog #blazes tk prompts

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gretchensinister · 4 months ago

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Writing Game: Last Lines

Thank you @marypsue for the tag! This seems fun and I am procrastinating, so let's go!

Last lines from the last 10 finished works I posted:

The list goes from oldest to newest:

“T—time,” he stammers, his voice low and rough. “You give me time.” As much as I want, his vampire tells him. More than you’ll ever understand.

(all I ever do around you is want, Rise of the Guardians, Pitch/Sandy, vampire AU)

“Well, with new, shorter ceremonies, it will be a very, very long night,” Sandy says, though the last word is mostly lost in a gasp.

(Shortday at Fountain Square, Rise of the Guardians, Pitch/Sandy, bonus fic for my epic fantasy AU A Draught of Light)

“No mask?” No mask!

(Yellow/Gold, Rise of the Guardians, Pitch/Sandy, eldritch AU)

And with a little more clumsiness than the night before, but perhaps no less real grace, they drew each other down onto the brilliant, fragrant rainbow of one of Thra’s wonders—and soon lost themselves in another.

(Incarnation, The Dark Crystal/The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, SkekGra/UrGoh)

Then, you’d find out even more about what Moder had given you, and how much you’d really been changed.

(Clearing, The Ritual, Moder/Reader)

Don’t worry! We will whistle up our song.

(Something Wicked Is Me, Something Wicked This Way Comes, poetry collection.)

Humanity test 1 begin. No recording. No protocol. No re-test. No deliverable product.

(New, Improved, Guaranteed Quality, erotic sci-fi dystopia (I have trouble describing this work) original work that exists because of Pitch/Sandy)

“I…trust me that I feel what love of yours is mine to feel. And whatever happens…I wish you all Thra’s strength and luck as you labor to keep us whole.”

(To Keep a Body Whole, The Dark Crystal/The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, mystic focus)

Why not, when he could trust that waking would be wonderful?

(Abundance, The Dark Crystal/The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, SkekGra/UrGoh)

(Gohan: That is very annoying)

(The Sleepover, Dragonball Z, LMAO okay this is the most recent thing I have posted on Ao3 BUT ALSO the oldest work on the list by far. The Archive is an archive! So when I found a notebook with a DBZ fic my friend and I wrote in middle school, I put it in the Archive for, well, archival purposes! I believe in academia they call this juvenilia. Anyway, you don't get anything else on this list without this one babey! But Gohan is right. It is very annoying.)

What have I learned from this game? I have been reminded that I feel like I struggle with last lines--at least ones that can be excised from the story that led up to them.

If you write, I invited you to do this! It's fun but I don't know who's writing these days that hasn't already been tagged.

#meme

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tumbledang3l · 6 months ago

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I feel like there is this near future where we live in a small cottage in the countryside, so far away from everybody, because you like nature, but I know that the secret behind this is that you never really admitted to liking me publicly. So we had to do it in private where nobody could see us.

I'm making dinner in a gown. What a strange get-up, but the truth is that even though you like me, you never learned or cared to learn how to love a man. So sometimes I have to pretend, act, and take on the role. I know my lines off by heart, I'll make the director proud.

I can play pretend, it's fine. It's not much compared to that one time when I was so angry and so sad, instead of cutting through my arm like I usually do, I mutilated my organ to leave a bloody hole, so now you could penetrate me with your strength and your manhood.

I think you like it, you've always liked blood. There were times when we had argued, and my arms were bloody, and you'd make love to me, you loved putting your hands on my freshly red or dryly brown wrists, it wasn't too violent, it was moderate even.

I don't see these as flaws in our life, or even a bad future whatsoever. I see it all as a future that God gave me after so much sadness, so many pearly tears running down my cheeks.

I guess I have to be grateful, and even though you don't fully admit to loving me, you do. You kiss me good morning, and you screw me goodnight. You're content with what I give you, though it's not much, and I make you laugh sometimes.

There are rumors through the grapevine that you were seen in the city with a black haired woman sporting a weird metal jewel in her nose. She must be a mess to sleep with, with that thing obstructing her nasal canals, snoring like a sow. I believe what I heard, it's not too far-fetched. But at least you stayed with me.

Oh, you could've run away with her, stayed in the city where you can love her in front of the whole world, where you can introduce her to your parents and marry her in one of these new age modern churches, while a new God from the twenty first century unifies you both. You could've had a great life, better than here, at least. You could be reading the news and going to work in whatever factory pays the bills enough. Could've gotten her pregnant. While I couldn't carry your child, she could. You could have gotten everything else, and you still stayed. I'm honored.

One day it's the apocalypse, the end of times, the sun refuses to shine and the moon went dark during the night, like a flickering light bulb. The clouds disappeared, the sky has a new color that nobody had ever seen before, no one believed it was even possible for the human eye to even see a new color ever.

Now it's nothing, it's chaos. It's the end of the movie, and you loved me so much during the musical number, you loved me as much as you could, and you did such a good job, that the time has come for me to eat you. The ultimate favor, my eventual reward.

It was a discussion that we had. Because I had suffered so much, it was the least you could do, your final gift, your last offering. You had told me that for my last day on earth, I had the opportunity, the privilege, to feast on revenge, to eat my anger up, to degust what had me suffer so much in life: humans.

You lay on the bed, completely naked. We tried doing it while you were alive, I took the knife that we used a couple hours earlier for lunch when I was cooking the curry drenched veal.

I am wearing a dress, honoring your own last wish. You always wished for a girl that would love you, and I was the only person loving you enough. You had to settle for less, settle for me.

I cut a part of your arm, between the elbow and shoulder, all along, and lengthwise. I eat it, and without any surprise, it doesn't taste very good. Maybe cause of your bad blood, maybe because today was hot and the meat was not kept fresh. Who knows?

But one thing we know is that you suffer too much, and though you seemed like you got a kick out of it, as it's a weird fetish of yours to get hurt, and you were so obviously erect at first, now the pain is too much for you to handle.

So we look at each other, I dive into your brown eyes like in the public swimming pool of my childhood, and we meet each other as children. Both so innocent yet so confused by the tribulations of life. I kiss your lips and you tell me that you love me, I know it's the signal and I slice your throat. Now eating you won't hurt your poor nervous system anymore, we both had our last wish realized. I take off the dress, it's time I be myself, and I hop on top of you, no need for the knife anymore, I'll devour you with my bare mouth like the last carnivore on earth.

I feast on my baby, the dear man that had loved me till the end. The only one at that. The meat starts tasting good now that I think about this. Thank you for loving me, even just a little, you know it was more than enough for such a love deprived kid like me.

It's the end of the movie, the credits roll and only bones are left. I'll die later too, perhaps we meet again down there.

- Tumbled Angel. #004

#boys #love #gay #poem and poetry #poem #prose poetry #prose #freestyle #apocalypse #canibalism #tw blood #cross dressing #gay boys #tumbled #angel #gay poem #gay poetry

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calumthoodshands · 2 years ago

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2022 Writing Evaluation

ah well well well thank u to my dear friends @calumsash,@igarbagecannoteven and @burstingsunrise for tagging me! very intruiged to see what this year's one's gonna reveal.

numbers of stories posted on ao3: 11! therefore a bit more than 2021.

word count for this year: that's a bit tricky bc ao3 counts my unfinished fic into this year as a whole so imma have to calculate a bit... 88 k for the independent fics and 14 chapters which are abt... 50 k for Days in the sun. Ergo 138,000 words! Estimated.

fandoms i wrote for: 5SOS!

pairings: cake! but i do have some muke in the making. (somewhere in the far future.)

story with the most kudos/bookmarks/comments: (leaving dits aside) to my own surprise, the right shade of blue really seemed to resonate with a lot of people (shoutout to luke's makeup you really have power apparently), perfect fit has the most comments and of lovers and friends got bookmarked the most (it has the most hits from these three as well so it figures i guess)

work i'm most proud of: hmmmm. of lovers and friends is one of my angstier works and the one where i think i really conveyed what luke goes through quite well. a different story is perfect fit though. i love that one bc it's so simple and light but so effective. but also shoutout to molly's bday fic the hues of me and you bc i wanted to write that fic for so long and i do like how it turned out despite it being quite different from what i normally write

work i'm least proud of (and why): there's no work i'm not moderately proud of bc i rarely finish fics and only finish them when i really do like them if that makes sense? my biggest problem is still my writing style bc i'm not yet sure i like it. which is probably any writer's problem but especially with english being not my native language i just KNOW i lack a certain... confidence in what i write bc i know it could be better, and could have more flow, and be more natural than it is. i write fics with three translators open, looking up every third word trying to find the one that not only makes sense but also gives it... the right vibe. that's something that bothers me with any fic. this is also a problem with days in the sun bc i post it as i write, and i just know that if i waited to finish it and edited it as a whole and only then posted it i might have done some things differently, but on the other hand, i also know it wouldve never seen the light of day, so... you win some, you lose some.

share or describe a favourite review you received: oh my god okay right yeah. there've been several to be clear but i'll keep it short so. once upon a time team @4thbrighteststar read of lovers and friends (actually, more on that later) and i wasn't thinking abt it too much after it was posted but then. one day i got a message from team, and lo and behold. it was a song. a song that fit the fic. i was SCREAMING on the inside. absolutely screeching. TEAM WROTE THAT SONG AND THEN SENT IT TO ME ALL CASUAL LIKE THATS NOT INCREDIBLE. burned into my brain for all eternity. i could talk abt it much more but this is already getting so long so ILY TEAM THANK U ONCE MORE ILY

a time when writing was really, really hard: can i just say 2022? /hj no but in all honesty... i had a REALLY hard time last year. i had much less time than the year before, and when i did have time, i rarely could get myself to actually sit down and write. and on top of that there is of course not much engagement with my fics anyway so at times i was very discouraged, almost to the point that i wanted to stop writing... so, yeah. i try not to pressure myself as much this year, but we'll see, i guess.

a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: actually, a lot of my fics are products of 'i'm just the writer i don't control what happens'. one funnier case though is probably football player luke in the hues of me and you. i never thought to make luke a football player bc it sounds so cliché but... as you can see it happened! and i think that's okay. i think i wrote him well enough.

a favourite excerpt of your writing: there's the hardest questions of them all, ah yes. fine. i'll actually try this time. AH yes okay yk what i got one:

i put more humor than usual into only on thursdays and i really like its lighthearted vibe <3 this isn't necessary my favourite scene but i also can't remember anything i wrote ever so it'll do lol

12. how did you grow as a writer this year? did i? i have no idea. i think i'm getting more confident in my writing with every fic i write, which is good. i've been more determined to work on my fics in terms of editing them after finishing, which i've been lousy with.

13. how do you hope to grow next year? hm... i hope i'll grow more confident. i hope i'll become more satisfied with my work.

14. who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc.)?

@burstingsunrise it would be ridiculous not to mention molly although i technically don't even talk to her about my writing that explicitely. i do however constantly ask her dumb questions and always get a more or less serious answer, i can always come to her for advice or throwing around any and all ideas i ever get. she's also been a real cheerleader to me whenever i'm insecure abt my writing again which i really, really appreciate. on top of the usual amount of appreciation obviously

i also have to mention @the-girl-who-cried-wolf bc she's inspired me lots of times, be it with her moodboards and blog/aesthetic, her own writing or something else. also my biggest cheerleader, love u emma.

dearest team @4thbrighteststar for her support on of lovers and friends. the fic would've never been as good as it is without her.

lastly i have to mention @sophelkopter (/ @sophelkopter on ao3) bc i simply wouldn't have kept going with dits without their comments. eternal gratitude.

15. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year? oh yeah! for sure.

16. any new wisdom you can share with other writers? just keep writing. and write EVERYTHING DOWN. that's all i got but also the most important two rules

17. any projects you're looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year? i finally want to write MUKE and i want to write ballet cake and i'd love to write the stranger things au. most importantly, however: i will finish days in the sun this year. soon. no idea how soon, but soon, and just thinking about it makes me want to cry lol

18. tag some writers whose answers you'd like to read: hm not sure who might've not done it already so this is pure guessing but i'd like to read something from @carouselstars and @the-girl-who-cried-wolf and then anyone else who would like to do this!

#this was a lot! but it was nice to do #i feel like this probably comes across a little too negative at times but i am grateful for the last year and what it brought #um....#aria.talks #?#writer things

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max11237 · 1 month ago

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How to Lose Weight: A Comprehensive Guide for Lasting Results

Here's an overview:

Introduction

Understanding Weight Loss Basics

Goal Setting: Creating Achievable Milestones

Balanced Nutrition: What to Eat and What to Avoid

The Role of Exercise in Weight Loss

Importance of Hydration

Managing Stress for Weight Loss

Monitoring Progress and Making Adjustments

Building Healthy Habits: Creating a Sustainable Lifestyle

Common Pitfalls and How to Avoid Them

Motivation and Mindset: Staying Committed

The Importance of Sleep

Leveraging Support Systems and Resources

Conclusion: Putting It All Together for Lasting Results

Introduction

When it comes to losing weight, there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Each person’s body responds differently to various diets and exercise routines. As a professional in the field, I know that the journey to lose weight involves a combination of proper nutrition, regular physical activity, and behavioral changes. Let me guide you through the essential components to help you achieve lasting results.

First, it's crucial to understand the fundamental principle of weight loss: a calorie deficit. This means consuming fewer calories than the body expends over time. However, just counting calories isn't enough. The quality of the food you eat matters greatly. Incorporating nutrient-dense foods like fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains can make a significant difference.

Second, regular physical activity is another cornerstone of a successful weight loss journey. I recommend beginning with moderate exercise, like brisk walking or light jogging, and gradually increasing the intensity as your fitness levels improve. Resistance training, such as weight lifting, is also beneficial as it helps build muscle mass, which in turn increases metabolism.

Lastly, behavioral changes are essential for long-term success. Developing healthy habits, setting realistic goals, and maintaining a positive mindset are key factors. I advise monitoring progress through a journal or app to keep track of food intake, exercise, and emotional well-being. Additionally, seeking support from friends, family, or a professional can provide the motivation and accountability necessary to stay on track.

To sum up, a balanced approach that includes proper nutrition, regular exercise, and behavioral modifications is necessary for effective weight loss. As we delve into this guide, each section will offer detailed strategies and tips to help you on your journey.

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Understanding Weight Loss Basics

When embarking on a weight loss journey, I emphasize understanding some foundational principles, to ensure my efforts are informed and effective. At its core, weight loss involves a balance between calorie consumption and expenditure. Here are key points to consider:

Caloric Balance

Calories In vs. Calories Out: Weight loss primarily hinges on consuming fewer calories than my body burns. This can be achieved either by decreasing my calorie intake, increasing physical activity, or a combination of both.

Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR): This is the number of calories I burn at rest. Understanding my BMR helps me determine how many calories I need daily for weight maintenance, which is crucial for setting a caloric deficit.

Nutrition

Macronutrients: These include carbohydrates, proteins, and fats. Each plays a role in my health and energy levels. A balanced intake is vital:

Micronutrients: Vitamins and minerals are essential for overall health and metabolic function. A diverse diet rich in fruits, vegetables, and whole foods ensures adequate intake.

Exercise

Types of Exercise: Incorporating both aerobic (cardio) and anaerobic (strength training) activities can optimize weight loss:

Consistency: Regular physical activity is more beneficial than sporadic, intense workouts. Aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity or 75 minutes of vigorous activity, plus muscle-strengthening exercises on two or more days a week.

Mindset

Goals: Setting realistic, tangible goals helps maintain motivation. Breaking down long-term goals into achievable milestones can track progress.

Patience: Weight loss is a gradual process. Rapid loss often leads to muscle loss and other health issues. Aim for 1-2 pounds per week for sustainable change.

Self-monitoring: Keeping a food diary or using apps can provide insights into eating habits and help maintain accountability.

Goal Setting: Creating Achievable Milestones

Setting clear, achievable milestones is crucial in my weight loss journey. By defining specific, measurable goals, I can break down the larger objective of losing weight into manageable steps. This approach helps me stay focused and motivated.

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Caloric Balance

Nutrition

Macronutrients: These include carbohydrates, proteins, and fats. Each plays a role in my health and energy levels. A balanced intake is vital:

Micronutrients: Vitamins and minerals are essential for overall health and metabolic function. A diverse diet rich in fruits, vegetables, and whole foods ensures adequate intake.

Exercise

Types of Exercise: Incorporating both aerobic (cardio) and anaerobic (strength training) activities can optimize weight loss:

Mindset

Goals: Setting realistic, tangible goals helps maintain motivation. Breaking down long-term goals into achievable milestones can track progress.

Patience: Weight loss is a gradual process. Rapid loss often leads to muscle loss and other health issues. Aim for 1-2 pounds per week for sustainable change.

Self-monitoring: Keeping a food diary or using apps can provide insights into eating habits and help maintain accountability.

Goal Setting: Creating Achievable Milestones

Caloric Balance

Nutrition

Macronutrients: These include carbohydrates, proteins, and fats. Each plays a role in my health and energy levels. A balanced intake is vital:

Micronutrients: Vitamins and minerals are essential for overall health and metabolic function. A diverse diet rich in fruits, vegetables, and whole foods ensures adequate intake.

Exercise

Types of Exercise: Incorporating both aerobic (cardio) and anaerobic (strength training) activities can optimize weight loss:

Mindset

Goals: Setting realistic, tangible goals helps maintain motivation. Breaking down long-term goals into achievable milestones can track progress.

Patience: Weight loss is a gradual process. Rapid loss often leads to muscle loss and other health issues. Aim for 1-2 pounds per week for sustainable change.

Self-monitoring: Keeping a food diary or using apps can provide insights into eating habits and help maintain accountability.

Goal Setting: Creating Achievable Milestones

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Identify My Primary Goal

First, I need to determine my primary goal. This includes:

Target Weight: Establish my target weight based on a healthy Body Mass Index (BMI) or personal objectives.

Time Frame: Decide on a realistic time frame for achieving my goal. For example, losing 10 pounds in three months.

Break Down the Big Goal

I will break down my primary goal into smaller, achievable milestones:

Weekly Goals: Set weekly targets, such as losing 1-2 pounds each week.

Activity Goals: Commit to specific exercise routines, like 30 minutes of cardio five times a week.

Dietary Goals: Make incremental changes to my diet, such as reducing sugar intake or incorporating more vegetables.

Use the SMART Criteria

Ensuring my goals meet the SMART criteria will increase my chances of success:

Specific: Clearly define my objectives. "Lose 10 pounds" is more specific than "lose weight."

Measurable: Track progress with metrics like weight, body measurements, or fitness levels.

Achievable: Set realistic goals. Losing 1-2 pounds per week is generally considered safe and achievable.

Relevant: Align goals with my overall health objectives and lifestyle.

Time-bound: Establish a deadline to create a sense of urgency and keep me motivated.

Track Progress

Recording my progress is essential for staying motivated and making necessary adjustments:

Journals: Keep a detailed journal of my meals, workouts, and feelings.

Apps: Use fitness and nutrition apps to track my progress.

Regular Weigh-ins: Conduct weekly weigh-ins to monitor weight changes.

Celebrate Milestones

Celebrating each milestone is vital for maintaining motivation:

Rewards: Treat myself to something enjoyable but non-food-related, like a new workout outfit.

Acknowledgement: Acknowledge my achievements, no matter how small, to build confidence and resilience.

By creating clear milestones and adhering to a structured plan, I can transform my weight loss goal into a series of manageable, motivating steps.

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Balanced Nutrition: What to Eat and What to Avoid

Navigating the world of nutrition can be challenging, but focusing on balanced eating is a vital step towards weight loss. I have found that making informed choices about what to include and what to avoid in my diet has made a significant difference.

What to Eat

Whole Foods

Lean Proteins

Healthy Fats

Hydration

Moderate Dairy

What to Avoid

Processed Foods

Refined Carbohydrates

Trans Fats

Excess Sugar

Alcohol

By adhering to these guidelines, I have crafted a balanced approach to nutrition.

The Role of Exercise in Weight Loss

In my pursuit of weight loss, incorporating exercise is a critical component that supports my goals effectively. Exercise not only helps me burn calories but also builds lean muscle mass, which can raise my resting metabolic rate. This means I burn more calories even when I'm not active, allowing me to reach my weight goals more efficiently.

Types of Exercise

When it comes to exercise, a balanced approach that includes different types of activities yields the best results. Here are the main categories I focus on:

Cardio: Running, cycling, and swimming increase my heart rate, helping me burn calories quickly.

Strength Training: Lifting weights or performing bodyweight exercises like push-ups and squats helps me build muscle mass.

Flexibility Exercises: Yoga and stretching improve my range of motion and prevent injuries.

Benefits

The benefits of incorporating exercise into my weight loss plan extend beyond mere calorie burning:

Improved Metabolism: Regular physical activity boosts my metabolism, making it easier to maintain weight loss.

Mood Enhancement: Exercise releases endorphins, which improve my mood and reduce stress.

Better Sleep: Physical activity helps me sleep better, which is essential for weight loss and overall health.

Crafting an Exercise Plan

Creating a sustainable exercise plan is vital. My plan includes:

Setting Clear Goals: Whether it’s to lose a certain number of pounds or build muscle, having specific goals keeps me motivated.

Consistency: Regular exercise, at least 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity per week, ensures consistent progress.

Tracking Progress: Using apps or journals, I keep track of my workouts and improvements to stay on course.

Incorporating exercise into my weight loss journey requires dedication and planning, but the benefits are well worth the effort.

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Importance of Hydration

As I embarked on my weight loss journey, I quickly learned that hydration is a critical component. Water plays several vital roles that directly impact my ability to lose weight effectively, and it's often overlooked. Ensuring proper hydration can facilitate better physical performance, optimize bodily functions, and assist in the weight loss process. Here are some key reasons why hydration is essential:

Metabolic Function: Drinking water boosts my metabolism. Even slight dehydration can slow down metabolic processes, making it harder to burn calories efficiently.

Appetite Control: When I feel hungry, my body might confuse thirst signals for hunger pangs. By drinking water before meals, I find it easier to manage portion sizes and avoid overeating.

Exercise Performance: Proper hydration is crucial for exercise stamina and muscle function. Staying hydrated enhances my physical performance, allowing for more effective workout sessions.

Caloric Intake: Often, I might consume high-calorie beverages like sodas and juices without thinking. Replacing these drinks with water reduces my overall caloric intake significantly.

Waste Elimination: Water aids in the proper digestion and excretion of waste. Effective waste elimination helps in reducing bloating and improves my overall digestive health.

Nutrient Absorption: Hydration improves my body’s ability to absorb essential nutrients from food. Efficient nutrient absorption ensures that my body gets the necessary vitamins and minerals to sustain a healthy weight loss journey.

Skin Health: As I drink more water, I notice improvements in my skin. Hydrated skin heals faster and looks healthier, which contributes positively to my overall well-being.

Energy Levels: Maintaining hydration helps me feel more energized throughout the day. Low energy levels can lead to decreased physical activity, which can hinder weight loss.

Incorporating structured hydration habits into my daily routine makes my weight loss journey more manageable. I aim for at least 8 glasses of water a day, and more on days when I exercise intensely. By understanding and prioritizing hydration, I pave the way for sustainable and lasting weight loss results.

Managing Stress for Weight Loss

I understand that stress can be a major hurdle in my weight loss journey. Stress triggers the release of cortisol, a hormone that increases appetite and the storage of fat. Here are some strategies I can implement to manage stress effectively:

Identify Stressors:

Mindfulness and Meditation:

Physical Activity:

Healthy Eating:

Sleep Hygiene:

Time Management:

Relaxation Techniques:

Seek Support:

Hobbies and Leisure:

Limit Stimulants:

By implementing these strategies, I can create a healthier, more balanced lifestyle that supports my weight loss goals while helping to manage stress effectively.

Monitoring Progress and Making Adjustments

Monitoring my progress is crucial for making lasting changes. I use a few reliable methods to keep myself on track:

Regular Weigh-Ins

Food Diary

Fitness Tracking

Body Measurements

Analyzing the Data

Regularly analyzing my collected data enables me to:

Identify Trends

Set New Goals

Making Necessary Adjustments

After monitoring my progress, I make necessary adjustments to my plan:

Dietary Changes

Exercise Modifications

Behavioral Adjustments

By continually monitoring and tweaking my strategy, I stay on the right path toward achieving my long-term weight loss goals.

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Building Healthy Habits: Creating a Sustainable Lifestyle

When I start building healthy habits, consistency becomes my guiding principle. Establishing a routine is vital for my long-term success. Here are some steps I take:

Set Clear Goals: I define achievable and specific goals. For instance, I aim to walk 10,000 steps a day.

Create a Routine: Whether it’s a workout schedule or meal planning, I stick to a routine to make it second nature.

Stay Hydrated: Drinking enough water is essential. I make it a habit to drink at least eight glasses of water daily.

Prioritize Sleep: Proper sleep affects everything from appetite to energy levels. I ensure I get 7-8 hours of quality sleep each night.

When focusing on nutrition, I make conscious choices:

Balanced Diet: I include a mix of protein, carbohydrates, and healthy fats in my meals.

Mindful Eating: I practice mindful eating by paying attention to what and when I eat.

Healthy Snacks: I opt for nutritious snacks like fruits, nuts, and yogurt over processed foods.

Tracking progress keeps me accountable:

Journaling: Keeping a food and exercise journal helps me track my progress and identify areas for improvement.

Regular Check-ins: Periodic self-assessments ensure I stay on track and make necessary adjustments.

Support and motivation are crucial elements:

Incorporating physical activities I enjoy:

Variety: I mix different workouts like swimming, cycling, or yoga to keep myself engaged.

Start Small: I begin with manageable activities and gradually increase the intensity.

Addressing setbacks constructively helps me maintain momentum:

Learning Experience: I view setbacks as learning opportunities rather than failures.

Self-Compassion: I practice kindness towards myself to keep my morale high.

By integrating these strategies, I strive to create a healthy, sustainable lifestyle that supports my weight loss journey.

Common Pitfalls and How to Avoid Them

Navigating the journey of weight loss is fraught with challenges. I’ve encountered several common pitfalls that can derail progress. Here’s how to sidestep them effectively:

Unrealistic Expectations

Skipping Meals

Over-Reliance on Supplements

Ignoring Strength Training

Underestimating Portion Sizes

Neglecting Sleep

Emotional Eating

Inconsistent Tracking

By being aware of these common pitfalls and taking proactive steps to avoid them, I can enhance my weight loss journey and achieve lasting results.

Motivation and Mindset: Staying Committed

Maintaining motivation and a positive mindset is crucial for lasting weight loss. I often reflect on my personal reasons for wanting to lose weight, whether it's improving my health, boosting my confidence, or increasing my energy levels. These reasons serve as a powerful source of motivation, especially during challenging times.

Setting Realistic Goals

To stay motivated, I set specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART) goals. For example, instead of aiming to "lose weight," I might set a goal to "lose five pounds in a month." This provides a clear target and helps me track my progress.

Building a Support System

Having a support system is vital. I lean on friends, family, or even online communities for encouragement and accountability. Sharing my goals and progress with others can make a significant difference in maintaining motivation. Additionally, I might consider working with a health coach or joining a support group.

Celebrating Small Wins

Recognizing and celebrating small victories helps keep me motivated. Each accomplishment, whether it's losing a pound, sticking to my workout routine, or making a healthy meal choice, deserves recognition. Celebrations can be simple, like taking a relaxing bath or enjoying a favorite healthy snack.

Staying Positive Despite Setbacks

Setbacks are inevitable, but a positive mindset helps me navigate them. Instead of dwelling on failures, I focus on what I can learn from them and adjust my strategies accordingly. For example, if I miss a workout, I might plan an extra activity for the next day. Keeping a positive attitude and forgiving myself for slip-ups ensures I stay committed to my long-term goals.

Visualization and Affirmations

Visualization techniques and positive affirmations can enhance my mindset. I spend a few minutes each day visualizing myself achieving my goals and the positive impact it will have on my life. Affirmations like "I am capable of achieving my weight loss goals" reinforce my confidence and commitment.

Practicing Self-Compassion

Treating myself with kindness and understanding is essential. I acknowledge my efforts and achievements, no matter how small, and avoid harsh self-criticism. Practicing self-compassion helps me stay resilient and motivated, especially during challenging periods.

By focusing on motivation and maintaining a positive mindset, I can stay committed to my weight loss journey, despite obstacles and setbacks.

The Importance of Sleep

As I navigate my journey toward weight loss, I have realized that sleep quality is crucial. When I don't get enough sleep, my body reacts negatively in numerous ways, hampering my progress. The importance of sleep in weight management cannot be overstated, as it affects several critical aspects of health and fitness.

First, sleep plays a significant role in regulating hunger hormones. When I miss out on sleep, the levels of ghrelin (a hormone that stimulates appetite) increase, while levels of leptin (a hormone that signals fullness) decrease. This imbalance drives me to eat more than necessary.

Second, adequate rest is essential for efficient metabolism. My body needs sleep to process carbohydrates into energy. Without sufficient rest, my metabolism slows down, causing glucose levels to rise. This can lead to increased fat storage and weight gain.

Lack of sleep also influences my food choices. When I'm sleep-deprived, I find myself craving high-calorie, carbohydrate-rich foods. This is mainly because the brain's reward centers are more active, making junk food more appealing. Additionally, fatigue lowers my willpower, making it harder to resist these tempting but unhealthy options.

Mental health is another area where sleep makes an impact. Insufficient sleep affects my mood and stress levels, which can trigger emotional eating. When I am well-rested, I am more likely to exercise, maintain a balanced diet, and make healthier decisions throughout the day.

Quality sleep enhances physical performance by improving muscle recovery and endurance. During deep sleep stages, my body repairs tissues, builds muscle mass, and releases growth hormones. These functions are vital for sustaining an effective exercise routine, which is a key component of any weight loss plan.

To optimize my sleep, I adhere to some effective strategies:

Consistent Sleep Schedule: I go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, including weekends.

Creating a Sleep-Conducive Environment: I keep my room dark, quiet, and cool, and invest in a comfortable mattress and pillows.

Limiting Stimulants: I avoid caffeine and heavy meals several hours before bedtime.

Relaxation Techniques: Practices like reading, meditating, or taking a warm bath help me wind down.

In conclusion, prioritizing sleep is fundamental to achieving my weight loss goals. Focusing on sleep allows me to tackle the other aspects of my health journey more effectively and sustainably.

Leveraging Support Systems and Resources

When I set out to lose weight, I realized the importance of leveraging support systems and resources. Surrounding myself with the right people and tools made the journey more manageable and sustainable.

Building a Support Network

I began by identifying the people who would support my goals. This included:

Family and Friends: Encouraged me, offered emotional support, and even joined me in workouts.

Online Communities: Provided a platform for sharing experiences, motivational tips, and receiving advice from those who have successfully lost weight.

Professional Support: Consulted dietitians, personal trainers, or weight loss coaches to get personalized advice and accountability.

Utilizing Weight Loss Tools

Technology played a significant role in my weight loss journey. I used several tools to track and manage my progress.

Fitness Apps:

Wearable Devices:

Meal Planning Services:

Educational Resources

I committed to educating myself about health and nutrition. Key resources included:

Books and E-books: Read books by reputable health professionals to understand effective weight loss strategies.

Podcasts and Webinars: Listened to expert advice on weight management and healthy living.

Websites and Blogs: Followed credible websites for the latest nutrition research and fitness tips.

By leveraging these support systems and resources, I was able to create a structured and informed approach to my weight loss journey. Consistent support and the right tools enabled me to stay motivated and on track towards achieving my goals.

Conclusion: Putting It All Together for Lasting Results

In my journey toward effective weight loss, I’ve realized the importance of a balanced approach. It’s not just about cutting calories or hitting the gym; it's about making sustainable lifestyle changes. By focusing on nutrition, exercise, mental well-being, and consistent habits, I’ve laid a solid foundation for success. Here’s how I’ve tied all the elements together:

Nutrition

Balanced Diet: I ensure my meals include diverse food groups—proteins, carbohydrates, fats, vitamins, and minerals.

Portion Control: I’m mindful of portion sizes to avoid overeating, using smaller plates and carefully measuring servings.

Hydration: Drinking plenty of water helps manage hunger and supports overall health.

Exercise

Routine Development: I establish a consistent workout schedule, including both cardio and strength training.

Diverse Activities: To stay motivated, I incorporate a variety of exercises such as hiking, swimming, and yoga.

Rest and Recovery: I give my body time to heal by scheduling regular rest days.

Mental Well-being

Mindfulness Practices: Techniques like meditation and deep breathing help manage stress and emotional eating.

Sleep Quality: I prioritize 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night to maintain energy and balance hormones.

Positive Mindset: I use positive affirmations and set realistic goals to stay focused on my progress.

Consistent Habits

Tracking Progress: I keep a journal to record meals, workouts, and emotional states, allowing me to identify patterns.

Setting Goals: I break down my weight loss objectives into manageable, short-term goals.

Accountability: Sharing my journey with a friend or support group helps maintain motivation and accountability.

By integrating these strategies, I’ve developed a holistic approach that promises lasting results. Combining good nutrition, regular exercise, mental health practices, and a steadfast commitment to consistency, I am paving the way toward a health

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#WeightLossJourney #hashtag #HealthyHabits #CaloricBalance #NutritionTips #ExerciseForWeightLoss #SMARTGoals #StressManagement #HydrationMatters #HealthyLifestyle #SustainableWeightLoss

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theprinceofnothingatall · 5 months ago

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I know they say not to start smoking or anything to curb your appetite or whatever but honestly when fall hits and it’s cooler outside, I’m buying a lighter and a pack of what my momma used to smoke: Marlboro red 100s. I should be at my UGW by then. I just want to have to the one in honor of her, sit up on the parking garage, flick my bic and blow smoke up there in the cool air. Maybe I’ll have the whole pack over the span of two months and have one or two a week. That all sounds really stupid just to feel closer to my mother, but I want to and it’s been on my mind. I’ve had a pack of mint like ones in my drawer forever that I found unopened years ago where we used to live and just used one that had lipstick stains on it from when I was dressing up for cosplay pictures. I’ve been so curious about what they taste like it kills me. They say it just takes one to get addicted, and somewhere else that one cigarette shortens your life by 11 minutes. I’m willing to risk it cause per usual I think I’m invincible and stronger than everything. I want to experience things and I want to experience something she did that was such a big part of her, so when I write about it it can be genuine memory. It’ll be like a really ironic messed up reward for finally losing this last 25 pounds I’ve been battling since even before she died.

All this desperate foolishness because I miss her.

I at least want to feel something she did, even if it’s dangerous and I’ll probably keep it a secret awhile and maybe never tell anyone.

I eat leftovers tomorrow then the 8th starts it all for real. 100 cal limit for a week, then 200, then 300 and so on til from what I estimated I’ll make 84 Ibs by Sep 3 so roughly two months.. I can assume about 12-13 pounds a month. From there I’ll up my cal limit by 25 each month til I maintain 84-90. It’s not realistic but I don’t care. It’s what I’m going to do and I’ll do it. Two work days a week even if they are of a higher activity level but I’ll be just fine.. light workout after work on Tuesdays, heavier workout on Wednesday, light at home workout on Thursday and maybe Sunday or whatever day I’ll workout with my partner too. 4 days a week of averagely moderate exercise will help a lot. While I’m losing weight I’ll tone. I’ll get stronger as I slowly up my intake for protein in the winter. In my own way I’ll recover and maybe be okay having muscle keep me at 90-95. I’ll never see the 100s again.

As sister days: the perfect body, the perfect soul.

🎀🚬

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therapythoughtstogether · 9 months ago

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I regularly binge but then I get out of the cycle through just sheer disgust with the food now. Like I binged on crisps so much I now can't stand them. Now it's one less thing to binge. I try breaking the cycle if I can by swapping a binge meal for a healthy one for a limited time then swap in a second one etc. I go slow though like maybe a couple of weeks at a time. I can't go cold turkey. It's also totally hard. If I go slow and just gradually introduce a filling healthy meal instead of a binge into my routine then it's easier to fall into a healthy eating period eventually. I also try and practise mindfulness by grounding myself (you can Google tips) because the binging is fueled by a feeling of being out of control, like I'm airborne. I can't describe it. It's like I'm on the edge of a cliff and I have to slowly crawl back by grounding myself and taking baby steps to establish a routine. If you're recovering from trauma I think makes it so hard to try and pick yourself up again. I feel like I'm failing putting myself back together.

I cannot even express how thankful I am for you sharing your experience! I understand exactly what you mean, you don't have to explain further. It's like we have the same shared collective experience.

I remember being absolutely disgusted by creamed corn when I was just about 10 years old...it hurts to even type it out. I binged on it hard just before going to school and I was curled up in a ball crying on the kitchen floor because my stomach hurt so much. I haven't had creamed corn ever since.

Now I have kind of a aversion to most really sweet desserts because I used to binge on them so hard. I was binging on crisps hard-core for the past two weeks, and even tough I didn't develop an aversion to them (looks like my love for potatoes and savoury snacks wins) I just don't crave them at the moment (I know that won't last though) and I do feel disgusted by greasy food in general. So I'm trying to reduce the oil and fat in my cooking.

The feeling of being out of control...I feel like I am "possessed". Like I'm on the passenger's seat and someone or "something" took over the wheel. It's like witnessing my own self destruction and not being able to do anything about it.

I'm back at starting my days with a glass of water, a cup matcha, the light of a a scented candle and journaling. When I'm able to get a mat I'll go back to gentle stretches and build up to doing yoga again. It helps me ground myself more like in a preventive way. In hopes that I can prevent future binges or at least reduce the frequency and intensity of them.

When I'm in the middle of a binge it's almost impossible for me to stop. Even though I have managed not to binge for the whole day lately. Like I've had binges in the morning and managed to remind myself that my whole day isn't "ruined" even if I exceeded the amount of calories I had planed to consume for the day.

I'm also trying to allow myself to have what I crave in moderation, but with someone with my history of eating disorders, moderation is extremely hard. It seems impossible sometimes. It's all or nothing for me...but I'm trying.

~Sending you hugs and love, I hope you heal, and thanks so much again for sharing 💜💜💜 You made me feel less alone, and I'm sure other people who come across this may feel the same way.

#therapy thoughts #anons #asks #answered #I appreciate you so much for sharing anon #tw ed talk #tw BED discussion #tw binge restrict cycle #tw ed relapse #trying to recover #recovery struggles #it feels like torture #a bit of an insight of how it feels to binge #you're not alone #we are in this together #mental health

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writefightandflightclub · 2 years ago

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Could you pretty please write a headcanon about Llewyn Davis x hard of hearing reader?

It's a pretty funny story how l found out. I've been having trouble hearing and it all came to a boil with two events:

1. I was called to go on stage and receive a diploma 3 times before l realised they're calling me and

2. As l was reading a post about deaf and hard of hearing people, and thought: "no way I'm hard of hearing, it's just hard for me to hear!" 😂🤦🏽‍♀️ Then realized how dumb that was and went to get checked out to find that l have mild to moderate hearing loss.

I'm not sad about it btw, just glad to have figured that out, and l think Llewyn would be the perfect choice for hearing related issues 😅

Thank you very much, so sorry for the ramble, and have a lovely day! 💐

Hi Anon!

Thank you for this ask! It’s so fun to get a Llewyn prompt. I haven’t written for him in aaaages! ☺️🧡

I’m so glad that you have been able to figure out that you are hard of hearing, and I hope it’s helpful to you to understand that about yourself! 🧡

Little headcanon/ficlet blend below the cut.

I will say that I am not hard of hearing myself, and I know each person’s experience of being hard of hearing will be unique, with such a lot of variation! Without knowing more about your personal experience it’s hard to tailor this exactly, but I do hope there is something in there that you can enjoy. Also, if I have misunderstood anything about being hard of hearing, included any harmful stereotypes / anything insensitive at all please do let me know! I’m always happy to learn and to do better 🧡

Warnings: mentions of food, making-out, kinda forward reader (sorry idk where that came from! 😂), light innuendo. Fluff!

Crown of crotchets: Llewyn Davis x hard of hearing!GN!reader

We all know that Llewyn loves music! And, from the first time you meet him at a house party, that becomes apparent to you too. He’s shovelling food into his face at the buffet table (as he has been for the last 20 minutes), and not one of the pretty, smiling faces has been able to divert this sullen man’s attention - at least, not until you step up beside him. “I love this song,” Llewyn sputters unsmoothly, with a mouthful of chips and dip, spraying even more food crumbs on to his rumpled shirt.

Sharing favourite songs is one of Llewyn’s love languages, and he can’t quite explain it, but from the moment he sees you, he wants to share every song he knows with you. Hell, he swears he’s composing music in his head as he looks at you. You (and the rather warming chicken casserole) are the only damn pieces of luck in his rotten week, and he feels the cloud of despondency above him part just enough for some sunlight to glimpse through when he’s looking at you.

You mention that you can’t really make it out - the song he’s referring to - the vinyl playing in the background a little lost to the hubbub of the party. Llewyn groans and shakes his head as though that won’t do, not at all, and before you know it he is holding your hand in his, the wool of his fingerless gloves all soft and worn against your palm, and he is tugging you upstairs. “Come on, you need to hear this song.”

You don’t protest, even if you do wonder whether (or even assume that) this whole thing might be a ploy to get to you alone in the host’s bedroom for a make-out session - after all, you might not even mind that. This guy is cute, if a little sad and tired and scruffy looking. But, as he folds himself cross-legged on the floor in front of the side unit, easing the vinyl out of its sleeve like it’s a sacred object and setting it atop the record player, you realise he truly does have the music in mind. He really does want you to experience it, in an environment set up and tailored solely for you.

(Also, maybe he’s had enough of the other guests talking anthropology or whatever. He certainly didn’t seem to warm to them.)

“Come on,” he says, waving you over (you realise he’s also nabbed a full plate of snacks, which he proceeds to wrap in napkins and hide in the pockets of his jacket for later, and as he drops the needle and fiddles to up the volume, you settle down opposite him, seating yourself on the rug thrown over the hardwood floor.

The song sounds out, and you bob your head along to the beat, Llewyn asking questions of you until he’s finely tuned the bass and levels and dials to give you the best experience.

You watch Llewyn become entirely lost in it, the man closing his eyes and miming the progression of the chords along invisible frets - with his appealing, dexterous fingers. You admire his crown of muddled, crotchet black curls as his head bounces in time with the beat, his hair appearing like a beautiful tangled song. “Well. This is good,” you concur. “But… I’ve definitely heard better.” You smirk infuriatingly at him, and Llewyn’s jaw goes slack with your challenge.

He already looks desperate to prove himself to you, in more ways than one, his eyes big and bashful now - likely as he observes his surroundings and finally clocks that he does, in fact, have you alone in a bedroom.

You mull it over, and then you reach out and dust some of the crumbs from his cord blazer, noticing the moth-eaten ribbing along the edges. You click your tongue and sigh in something resembling defeat. “I swore that I wouldn’t date any more guitarists,” you say to him, his profession obvious from the way he played his imaginary instrument. “But… you are a pretty one.” You swear his brown skin heats with a tint of crimson as you smooth your palms over his lapels. “So… do you want to get a drink sometime?”

Llewyn looks dumbfounded, and a little lost for words, but eventually, some sounds croak from out of his throat. You read the words on his lips to help you out a little, and you find you don’t mind looking at his mouth at all. “I-I’m a singer too.”

“Wonderful,” you purr. “So, you’re good with your hands and your mouth?”

And, as skilled as Llewyn is with his instruments, he can hardly make any sounds now - aside from affirmatives - as you crawl into his lap and press your lips to his in a languid kiss.

From that moment, Llewyn is smitten with you, and the feeling is mutual. You spend whatever free time you have (he seems to have an abundance of it) together. Often, you will listen to music at your place. Once you had properly explained to Llewyn that you are hard of hearing, Llewyn was so understanding, asking gentle questions so that he could better understand how you experience the world, and to find out whether he could do anything to support you.

Llewyn excels at making sure you’re able to access as many of the sounds he finds beautiful as is possible for you - in whatever way that works for you. For example, depending on your needs, maybe he saves up his Gaslight money to buy some high fidelity headphones - if that would work for you and you would enjoy them. Maybe he makes sure to borrow the vinyl of that song which was playing in the cafe that time (that he knows you would love if it hadn’t been drowned out quite so much by the bustle of the patrons and the street). Llewyn always saves your preferred table at the Gaslight when he’s playing too, with a little “reserved” sign. He always makes sure you have your ideal spot, whether you want to sit far away enough to protect your ears (or to simply let the noise take a back seat and enjoy focussing on the visuals) or close enough that the background noise of the bar doesn’t affect your ability to enjoy his set.

As well, Llewyn is typically a mumbler, but he learns to adjust - always facing you when he’s speaking, getting close to you, letting you see his mouth, or making sure he moves the two of you to a quieter space, if those things help you.

He always encourages you to do whatever is best for you too, and you always feel supported to make your own decisions around what works (for example, whether you wish to experiment with hearing aids or not, or whether there are other options you may wish to find out more about.) It’s always up to you, and the last thing you would ever experience from Llewyn is pressure.

Llewyn knows how great you are at advocating for your own needs, but he also wants you to know he has your back too, and he is always there to pull someone up (in his typical grumpy, snarky fashion) if they are ignorant around the topic of being hard of hearing, or if they aren’t providing what you need to be included and to participate fully.

At home, if there are times you might not hear him approach - for example, if you are already playing music, or doing the dishes with running water and the rumble of the noisy washing machine - Llewyn approaches from the side so as not to startle you, wrapping one arm around your middle until you smile softly at him over your shoulder, and only then does he shuffle up to hug you tightly from behind, his soft curls brushing up against you. He’s a gentle man, and he’s loving, and he shows you in so many little ways that he is mindful of your needs.

Of course, Llewyn also makes sure you spend lots of quality time together which doesn’t involve sound as a central component. Llewyn understands that sometimes certain activities can take extra energy for you, and he becomes attuned to spotting any signs that you need a break or rest. So, you and Llewyn enjoy plenty of quiet days together at home. For example, you spend a lot of time reading and cooking together. Snuggling on the couch. Going to see movies - with subtitles if you need them - and talking long walks in the park with a steaming cup of hot chocolate. You’re literally his favourite person in the world. He can’t think of anything better than a chilled, snuggly day with you!

Most of all though, you love to hear Llewyn sing and play, whether intimate gigs for only you at home, Llewyn sat on the bed in his boxers, his soft body curled around the guitar, or in his element at the Gaslight, the spotlight shining around him like a halo.

It has to be said that Llewyn’s heart grew ten sizes the moment he realised you enjoyed his music most of all. He hasn’t often received a lot of appreciation for his talents, and it means the world that it is coming from you when he values your opinion above anyone else’s.

As your relationship progresses, and the two of you become more deeply entwined, Llewyn’s favourite thing to do is to have you laying on his chest while he sings lullabies to you. For him, there is nothing which brings him greater happiness than having you blissed out on his chest while his music and his embrace each soothe you towards slumber. You love this too, as having him so close means the sound entirely wraps around you. You can hear the sounds filter gently over you, and even if some of the notes might be lost to you when his volume drops or his pitch fluctuates, you can feel the vibration of every one of them - from his chest to yours - as you press up against him.

“Mmm. That one,” you say - around a cute lil yawn - on one occasion Llewyn snuggles you in bed.

“What, angel?”

“That song. That’s the best one so far.” You snuggle into him tighter, feeling like his sung notes - delivered with such reverence - are gathering to form a crown of crotchets in your hair. The notes which reached the shell of your ear and the missed notes alike forming a beautiful bejewelled headdress, delivered as they were with such love. Llewyn makes you feel like royalty. “Whose is it?”

You mean the artist, of course. But Llewyn’s reply confuses you. “It’s yours, angel.”

“What?”

“Yeah. I… I wrote it the night I fell in love with you. The… the night I met you.”

Your heart grows ten sizes now, and you tug him even closer to you.

You are Llewyn’s greatest muse, it seems, and his heart sings for you and only you.

“I… I love you too, Llewyn.”

God.

You’re endlessly glad you decided to break that ban on dating musicians.

This one’s definitely a keeper.

Absolutely top of the charts - in your heart if nowhere else.

#llewyn davis x reader #llewyn davis #excuse the naf title I struggle to title ficlet type things 🙈

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poisonmypleasure · 4 years ago

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Light A Flame

sakusa kiyoomi x male reader

⚠️ smut: somnophilia, blowjob, riding

Sakusa Kiyoomi didn't know what possessed him.

He was watching the late night cartoon airing on the TV that you always watch. Next thing, he was suddenly hot and bothered, his dick growing semi-hard underneath his underwear, a bulge visible through his pajama pants.

The ace wasn't completely ignorant at the cause of his boner. He was thinking about you after all.

He couldn't exactly pinpoint what did you do to turn him on all of a sudden.

Was it you coming back home from class earlier in your denim shirt, two upper buttons undone with your h/c hair tousled?

Or was it when you got out of the shower, your wet h/c hair flopped down, your torso exposed with remaining droplets, already in your basketball shorts?

It could be when you were wearing your long-sleeved T-shirt, when you pulled your shirt over your head, stretching your abdomen to let the rest of the shirt roll over your body before completely covering you.

The way your back muscles flexed a bit? Delicious.

The way your stomach was covered when you pulled the hem of your T-shirt down? Such a tease.

And when you moved your gaze on your boyfriend's hungry eyes, you noticed it the moment you walked out of the bathroom, your lips curled into a small smile.

But Kiyoomi saw a lazy smirk that was so sexy to him.

There was also when he heated up the food that he bought in the evening for you to have a late dinner. You ate beside him on the sofa as he watched the news, kissing his hair as a ‘thank you’ for taking care of you. The affection sent butterflies and shivers all over his body.

The heat got more intense when you mindlessly rubbed his thigh with your palm. It was warm for you but sweat was rolling down his back. It was just a simple gesture with innocence behind it but he got so bothered by that, in a good way.

Maybe, all possible causes affected him directly that made his dick hard.

He loves you.

It’s love, right? The one made him pop a boner during random times like right now?

Kiyoomi sighs in frustration, leaning his head back on the sofa.

Is he… horny? Without a reason? No way!

That is your brand. You are known to be 247 horny.

The saying about becoming the person you love is happening to him? Gosh! Out of all the best qualities of you, he took your horny with him.

He puts his sweaty palms on his clothed thigh, suddenly remembering then mirroring your actions earlier. Rubbing his own flesh to get any pleasure by himself.

It isn’t the same as when you do it.

So, he walks into the shared bedroom of yours, standing near the foot of the bed to stare at your sleeping form.

He knew that you were drained from your long day and he wanted to give you time to rest. The thing that possessed him to be aroused right now isn’t helping him.

Adding to his desire, the scene in front of him, the one of you sleeping, is really arousing.

He didn’t know how you sleep and somehow got half of the blanket to hang off of the bed. Your aggressive sleeping made your T-shirt rode up to half of your stomach, your shorts were rolled up to show your thighs for him to drool.

Your erection is poking out too, your tip leaking precum and wetting your thigh.

There is no way Sakusa could hold himself back.

Now that he knows you’re horny too. Damn, you could even get hard in your sleep.

Pushing his final contemplation away, he straddled your knees before sitting on your thighs, trapping your legs under him.

He pulls down your shorts with difficulty, with him sitting on you and being careful not to wake you up. His present under the clothing made his lips dry, licking them at the sight of your proud standing cock.

Kiyoomi gently grabs your dick, wrapping all of his fingers around it before stroking it, the leaking liquid spreading all over your length.

“Tch! Stupid Y/N getting hard in his sleep... You better wake up when I suck you off…” he whispered to your dick in front of his face, hoping the message would get to your other head.

Due to the room being quiet, the squelching from your pre-cum and his tight grip filled the room with clarity and Sakusa felt his last bit of restraint from jumping you disappear.

He wastes no time to devour your whole length in his mouth, tongue already licking the whole thing, tracing the veins while bobbing his head to swallow it.

While sucking you, his eyes look up to your face, still nothing as you’re still far in dreamland. He struggled to frown with your cock in his mouth, a bit upset that you haven’t wake up to fuck his brains out yet.

He powers up his sucking, slurping back his drool on your length, drinking the built up pre-cum, stroking you faster and tighter, pushing you further down his throat.

The idea of him using your vulnerable state to satisfy his needs and getting caught with your hard cock deep inside his mouth turned him on like no other as he started to grind his own erection on your leg.

His eyelids flutter at your sleeping face, pretending he is seducing you with his eyes while giving you a blowjob. He knows you would go crazy at his expression that you would grip his hair and fuck his throat roughly.

And you are still asleep even when he gets closer to his orgasm by rubbing himself on you. It annoys him when he cummed first in his underwear as he grunts on your twitching length.

The pleasure from his orgasm made him moan around your cock louder, sending greater sensation that your seed bursted down his throat.

Swallowing everything then pulling off your tip with a loud pop, he pants on your still erected dick, all wet from his saliva as he had sucked everything off it.

He sits up to stare down at you with furrowed eyebrows.

You are still in your slumber.

“Y/N, you idiot… How did you cum in your sleep and still hard?”

He spat on your cock to wet it more, stroking it fast to exaggerate the squelching noise in hopes of getting any reaction from you being sensitive.

Nothing out of you, not even a small jerk.

“You sleep like you’re dead,”

He decided to take matters in his own hands in favour of satisfying his own lust. Shrugging his pajama pants and cum-stained underwear off, he squatted above your hips, your erection straightened in his grip before lowering himself onto you.

Your shaft pressed dead on at his prostate that he jolted upwards again. He moves his ass back down again slowly as he can handle.

He stilled himself for about two minutes to get used to your girth stretching his walls until his own erection woke up again.

Then he lets himself loose as he rides you in your unconscious state, slamming himself down onto you that his firm ass cheeks clap your thighs.

His volume was moderate as he wants to let you know that your cock is hitting him so good inside him but doesn’t want the people living next door to hear.

“Fuck! Y/N! Wake up and fuck me! Damn it!” he whispered in a yelling tone.

He fucks himself onto your hard dick until his legs begin to shake and his own length becomes painful.

“Fine… If you’re not doing it, I’ll do it myself…”

He changes his bouncing into grinding back and forth to drag his nerves against your cock, stroking his own to reach his second orgasm.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I’m cumming! Y/N-”

His semen made a mess all over your stomach, some staining your T-shirt. He continues to jerk off until he couldn’t handle the pleasure anymore that he drops his hands on your chest to support him from falling forward, his whole body shivering.

Sakusa’s heart drops when he sees your eyes flutter open, still hazy from your slumber when you scan the situation you’re in.

You looked at your boyfriend’s face with a bored expression before the lazy smirk that Kiyoomi loves from you appears.

“Kiyo-chan? Did you use me while I was asleep?”

The guy gasped when he sensed your palms massaging his waist. He gulped as he already allowed you to have your way with him, knowing that you would go for two rounds at the least.

“Yeah, I did. Now, get up and fuck me into the bed,” he answered with confidence.

You were impressed by his attitude, already seeing him breaking down in the next few minutes.

Sitting up to meet his face, you grab his chin to guide his mouth to yours, kissing the breath out of him.

“You’re such a pervert, Kiyo-chan! And you say I am the horny one,” you provoked.

You obeyed his words that night and didn’t stop just before dawn. You were proven that you weren’t the only pervert in the relationship.

a/n: plssss excuse the h*rny 😭 also, not me outwriting my w***p** works 💀

#SoundCloud #haikyuu x male reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu smut #top male reader #seme male reader #dom male reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #male reader #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x male reader #dom reader #sakusa x y/n #sakusa smut

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panharmonium · 3 years ago

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the other thing that i keep thinking about, especially now that i’ve been knee-deep in conversation about kakashi’s father for the last couple days, is the amount of politically/socially-charged context kakashi must be constantly navigating as a leaf shinobi, even though we don’t get to see much of it.

the transformation of the hidden leaf village is obviously still a work in progress, and society never changes overnight. we’ve heard at various points in shippuden about the still-present divide between hardliners like danzo and the (somewhat) more moderate senju line, and it’s clear that there are still plenty of reactionary/conservative forces at work in the shinobi world, which means there are absolutely still segments of the population who would view the kind of challenge that kakashi and his students pose to traditional shinobi values as a threat. and back when kakashi first chose to reaffirm his father’s principles, i’m sure it was much worse - the way minato tells it, the entire village and the land of fire turned on sakumo, and it’s not like all those people just disappeared when kakashi finally allowed himself to recognize that all of them were doing something wrong. they were still there. they were his neighbors. they were his colleagues. he had to live with them. he had to work with them - he had to work FOR them, even. to this day, he still does.

like. i am FASCINATED by the complexities of this situation, even though we barely see any of it. just...thinking about thirteen year-old kakashi being a member of the Jonin Assembly alongside all of these grown adults who persecuted his father until the “great man who everyone looked up to” couldn’t survive it any longer. thinking about teenage kakashi lost and “waiting to die” in the anbu black ops, but still breaking every rule to rescue little tenzo from a hardline conservative who tried to have kakashi assassinated. thinking about adult kakashi, still a member of that same Jonin Assembly, still working alongside people he can clearly remember harassing and attacking his father for saving their lives, being asked to serve as a clandestine hokage under danzo’s nose, because foreign nations trust kakashi where they don’t trust the actual nominee, and then being nominated for real when danzo turns up dead (and having his nomination approved, i might add, by the land of fire, whose government officially blamed kakashi’s father for the damage that resulted from that abandoned mission years before).

we only get hints about the lingering controversy surrounding kakashi and his family via danzo and, occasionally, the village elders, but like. kakashi occupies such a complex place in the hidden leaf village, because he’s become incredibly respected and renowned by many (if not most) of its residents, but he also spends every day of his life moving within a community where many (if not most) of the older people around him participated in a campaign of vicious harassment against his father, one that ultimately led to his death. some of them may have had changes of heart after sakumo’s suicide - that seems like the kind of thing that might have shocked some people into reevaluating their positions, particularly given how respected sakumo was prior to that time - and some of them probably died later in the war, but we know there’s still a conservative faction active in the hidden leaf village, and some of those people are always going to be who they are. and even the people who aren’t - even the ones who regret how they acted - it’s still so complicated! how do you continue to live and work in that environment? how do you navigate a history of being harmed in that way, when you still have to collaborate with and/or serve the same people who did the harming, some of whom likely view you with the exact same disdain they had for your father?

kakashi manages it, somehow, though i’ll bet he has complicated feelings about it, even if he keeps them to himself. and that’s yet another reason why (if i can just take these thoughts on a slight detour to the present) i think kakashi’s relationship with sasuke is so vitally important, especially moving forward. sasuke’s family was wronged by the village too, in horrific, unforgivable ways - the shinobi system swallowed itachi whole and sacrificed the entire uchiha clan on the altar of a mission, in exactly the kind of evil, inhuman decision-making process that sakumo and obito and kakashi said could never be justified. the uchiha were victims of the same shinobi system that drove kakashi’s father to his death - the one that said “everything is acceptable as long as the task at hand is accomplished. people are disposable in service to a mission.” both sasuke and kakashi’s families fell to a cultural context that refused to acknowledge that it is never okay to sacrifice your comrades for a mission, a cultural context that embraced this belief to the point where even literal genocide became excusable.

if sasuke is ever going to really and truly Come Home, he’s going to need to learn how to navigate this situation. not to excuse the wrong that was done, and certainly not to give up on getting justice for himself and his clan, but also to figure out, in conjunction with these important tasks, how to continue existing in an environment where so much officially-sanctioned harm was done to his person, and where so many people around him have at least a little bit of history of being suspicious of or uncharitable towards the uchiha clan, even though they obviously didn’t know about the impending coup or danzo’s extermination order.

it’s an incredibly complicated situation, and even if kakashi doesn’t have all the answers, he can at least understand what it feels like to be in that kind of position. he’s been navigating something like this for many, many years. he’s the precedent, someone who can help sasuke wrestle with the perhaps unanswerable questions of how am i supposed to dedicate myself to a place that wronged me like this? why should i protect people who hurt me so badly? is there even a way for me to move forward here, if i can’t forgive the ones who took my family away from me? can this actually be my home again, when i know what it did to my people?

kakashi has obviously managed to come up with answers to these questions that enable him to stay integrated in his community and keep building a future he believes in, though I doubt any of his answers are simple, and i’m sure there are some things that he’s just had to accept will never be fully settled in his heart. it’s like what he says to obito in an episode i watched recently: “i don’t know anything for sure, either...i’ve thought that this world is hell, too...but...” it’s the but that matters. even in the face of confusion and complexity, kakashi has found a way to keep moving. he’s learned to co-exist with the uncertainty and discomfort surrounding him, and to make his own meaning out of this life, regardless of how complicated his internal relationship with the village might be. he’s found a way to keep his eyes trained on the light, whatever that light might look like for him, and even if said light is only, as gaara says, “the faintest glimmer.” he has so much to teach someone like sasuke, who up until recently was responding to that same plea of gaara’s with a fatalistic “i shut my eyes a long time ago. the things i seek now lie only in the darkness.”

anyway. i am just having Many Thoughts currently about the intricacies of the political and social context that kakashi is always navigating, even though he never says a word about it. and i’m curious whether this family history will ever come up again in the last fifth of this show. if i were going on instinct alone, i’d suspect that we weren’t quite done with sakumo yet - i feel like we barely even started with him, to be honest (and also - whatever happened to kakashi’s mother???) - but i should know better at this point than to try and predict what this show is going to do, so i’ll just wait and see.

#naruto #meta #pan watches naruto #i got lost on the path of life #this is something i've always kind of wondered about in the back of my mind #but i started really focusing on it recently because of the conversations i've been having with dreamersscape about shikamaru and kakashi #because the other thing i think about in conjunction with this topic is how the kids have absolutely zero clue about any of this #sakumo's story seems to be - at least from what i've seen so far -#something that the entire leaf village just decided to never discuss again immediately after it reached its horrifying conclusion #whether out of shame or whatever else #it's buried history #even in the immediate aftermath - obito only knows the white fang as 'that hero who died protecting the village'#the rest of the story seems to have become That Of Which We Do Not Speak #and naruto's generation is even further removed from the history than obito was; so they just have no idea #like - naruto once asked kakashi who lady chio meant by 'the white fang'; and when kakashi uncomfortably answered 'my father'#naruto was so shocked by the concept of kakashi having parents that he never even asked any follow-up questions XD XD XD #so anyway i'm just thinking about how much the younger kids are going to start learning after they come home and start climbing the ranks #eg shikamaru shadowing kakashi in jonin circles and starting to pick up on dynamics he hasn't been exposed to before #bc i'm sure kakashi's philosophy for preparing jonin aspirants will be just as stubbornly renegade as his process for genin #and i can imagine there are certain tasks he'll set or standards he'll outline that might stir up some muttering #at least among the old guard #anyway. i think about this stuff a lot #the kids starting to learn all of the things that everybody else already knows about kakashi but nobody ever talks about #including kakashi himself #sasuke got the cliffsnotes version the day he left the leaf village; but there is still SO MUCH he and the other kids aren't aware of #they know nothing about kakashi's history with obito or rin or yamato or itachi; or what happened to his father; or how he got his sharingan #or that he was targeted for assassination by danzo as a teenager #they have no idea what his life was like AT ALL; and honestly i think kakashi wanted it to be that way #but that bubble has to pop eventually; and i can only imagine the kids' faces when they start to discover just how much they never knew.

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cloudteawrites · 4 years ago

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chapter: three ( 2.9k ) rating: mature (death, past abuse, eventual smut) genre: mystery | romance | hurt/comfort tags: bts x reader | ot7 x reader | hybrid | poly summary: when an estranged uncle leaves you his massive fortune you wonder if the universe is playing a joke on you. when that fortune comes with seven hybrids, you know for sure that it is. << first < previous | next > last >>

You did what any sane person would do upon finding one of the world’s deadliest predators making itself at home in their living room: you made unbroken eye contact with it for a solid five seconds before backing out of the penthouse and quietly closing the door. You stand in the hallway, staring at your hand still wrapped around the handle, unable to move. “No,” you mutter softly. “That can’t be right...” You punch the code in again and peak your head inside. The tiger is still there, staring straight at you. It makes a noise and you slam the door shut. You weren’t hallucinating, you weren’t dreaming. There was definitely a tiger on your couch. “What the fuuuuuck… ” You mutter, pulling your phone from your jacket pocket and punching in Mr. Seo’s number as fast as your thumbs will let you. “What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck-”

The phone rings once, three times, seven. There’s no answer. You groan and try not to think of this as the universe punishing you for being late. You hang up and send him a text instead, imploring him to call you back as soon as possible.

You press your back flat against the door and slide down it, sitting with your legs splayed out in front of you. There was a tiger in the penthouse. There was a tiger in the penthouse. You drag your hands down your face, replaying all your conversations with Mr. Seo and all the documents you’d read. There’d been nothing about pets in the asset manifest. You knew; you’d checked three times. You weren’t confident in your ability to take care of all of Oliver’s companies much less another living thing. You didn’t even really want to take care of the hybrids, but you’d appeased yourself with the knowledge that it was only temporary. So why there was a tiger in your living room you couldn’t say...Unless-

Your eyes widen. All the purchase order had said was three felines. It’d been you that’d made the assumption they’d be house cats. Not to mention, Mr. Park said the hybrids had been delivered already which meant the big cat sunning itself on the couch was-

Before you can draw the thought to its logical conclusion, the door swings open. You tilt backward, world going askew, but before your head can crack against the marble tile there’s a flurry of movement and someone’s holding it in soft hands.

You see azure eyes, soft lips, a crop of honey blonde hair. You blink up at the prettiest man you’ve ever seen in your life. His mouth melts into a close-lipped smile. “Hello,” His voice is soft and airy, almost musical. “You must be our new owner.”

You wince at the word owner. “Uh, I’m Y/N, yeah.”

He hums in acknowledgement then asks, “Would you like to stand up? The floor must be uncomfortable.”

“Oh!” You’d been so busy staring into his eyes that you’d forgotten he was crouched on the ground, holding your head in his hands. “Yeah, I would. Thanks for catching me.”

He gives you another smile. “Of course,” He purrs.

The man offers you a hand and helps you to your feet. Even when you’re standing, he doesn’t release it. You try to tug your own away, not wanting to make him uncomfortable, but he holds you fast and laces your fingers together. You balk down at your conjoined hands and shoot him a look of concern, but if the prospect of holding hands with a virtual stranger bothers him, you certainly can’t tell from the serene expression on his face.

Now that you’re standing and you get a better look at him, you can tell that he’s really -almost disconcertingly- good looking. His hair is well groomed and, if the golden spotted ears poking out from it are any indication, naturally blonde. He’s dressed simply, in a loose-fitting cream sweatshirt and matching pants. The logo of breeding company he’d come from was embroidered neatly on the upper left side of it, just above his heart. He’s taller than you, but not overly so. You’re at eye-level with the elegant column of his throat. He’s slender, from what you could tell, and he smells nice, like soap and fresh linen. He notices you ogling him and tilts his head to the side, catching your gaze again.

“Is this your first time meeting a hybrid?” He’s still smiling at you calmly and you feel at ease despite the nervous heat you can feel creeping into your cheeks.

You offer him a wincing smile in return. “Is it that obvious?” Despite them being relatively common, you’d only seen them from a distance or when they were standing silent beside their owners while they made a purchase. You’d never had an actual conversation with one. You feel something twine around your calf and you jump, startled. There, wrapped around your leg, was a long, fluffy tail, just as golden and spotted as his ear. Well that , certainly wasn’t a house cat’s tail.

The man laughs at your reaction and it sounds like bells. “It’s okay,” he assures you, tugging you out of the doorway and into the apartment. “I don’t mind the staring.”

You feel a little relieved knowing you hadn’t offended him. Your temporary relaxation evaporates when you catch sight of the tiger again over the hybrid’s right shoulder. In the haze of meeting this one, you’d completely forgotten the one stretched out over the couch. The spotted hybrid notices your gaze shift and squeezes your hand lightly.

“Don’t be afraid,” he soothes, tail tip twitching against your calf. That was right, you’d heard they could smell chemicals that signaled major shifts in emotion. “That’s Taehyung. He was born wild, so that body is a little more comfortable for him. There’s still a person in there, so you don’t need to worry, okay?”You nod mutely, only moderately comforted by the spotted hybrid’s reassurance. “-And I’m Jimin.”

Jimin. Taehyung. You repeat the names to yourself over and over again in your head.

“-And Yoongi-hyung is around here somewhere.” That was right; there were supposed to be three of them. “He’s probably sleeping; he doesn’t like to be awake during the day time. If you find a bobcat in a closet don’t be surprised, okay?”

You swallow dryly. “No promises.”

The man- Jimin, you remind yourself. His name was Jimin - let out another soft laugh and steps back, untangling his tail from you to turn and face the tiger. “Tae,” he calls. “Come say hello to Y/N.”

Your heart jumps into your throat and you hold your free hand up. “No!” You say, alarmed, as the tiger rises and stretches. It lets a long, barbed tongue loll out of its mouth as it yawns and you feel your blood go cold at the sight of three-inch long incisors. “I-It’s okay; he doesn’t have to get up if he doesn’t want to!” But the tiger has already hopped down from the couch and is sidling toward you. You make a noise of distress and try to tug away from Jimin, but he’s stronger than he looks. His thumb rubs soothing circles on the back of your hand. It doesn’t help.

Taehyung stalks closer and closer until he’s right in front of you. You stand as still as you can manage, trying not to do anything that might set the predator off. Hybrid or not, he could still take a chunk out of you if the mood struck him.

Far away he was big, but up close he’s massive. On all fours, his shaggy head reaches your waist. If you bent forward to wrap your arms around his neck, you’re not sure if they’d even reach all the way. His paws are the width of dinner plates and from nose tip to tail, he has to be at least ten feet long. There’s no doubt that he’s a beautiful animal. Beautiful and terrifying.

For a moment the three of you stand there: Jimin holding your hand, you staring at the tiger and the tiger staring back. Suddenly he leans forward and presses his nose to your stomach, letting out a rumble that makes your whole body vibrate. Your eyes snap toward Jimin, wide. The other hybrid seems completely at ease. If anything, his smile’s gotten even wider.

“He wants you to pet him,” he says by means of explanation.

“Is that okay?” Before Jimin can give you answer, Taehyung presses his muzzle even further into your stomach and huffs. His breath is so warm you can feel it even through your jacket. You let out a puff of air. “Alright…”

You move slowly so you don’t startle him. You set a trembling hand atop the tiger’s head and gently run your fingers through his fur. It’s wirier than you thought it’d be, the hairs coarse against your skin. The tiger lets out another rumble, louder this time and much longer. You snatch your hand back for a moment, startled, and worried he was upset- but he sat back on his haunches, reached out with one massive paw and pressed your hand back against his head.

You let out a surprised bark of laughter.

Emboldened by his apparent approval, you risk scratching behind his ears. The big cat practically melts. If he could purr, you think he would. A hesitant smile creeps on to your lips. “You’re not so bad, huh?” He tilts his head forward to give you better access to his ears.

You feel Jimin’s tail curl around your ankle again, the hybrid apparently pleased to see you getting along so well with his friend. “None of us are,” he hums, taking advantage of your distracted state to brush your conjoined hands against his cheek. “Not when you get to know us.”

“What the hell are you two doing?” A gruff voice at the top of the glass staircase catches your attention. There on the landing is a man in a black sweatsuit identical to Jimin’s. His ash gray hair is a mess, mashed up on one side from sleep and his eyes are squinted against the light seeping in from the oversized windows. A pair of large, tufted ears are turned backward on top of his head and a short tail flicks behind him in irritation. The two other hybrids disentangle themselves from you immediately. “Didn’t I tell you to wake me up when the owner got here?”

There’s that word again: owner. You hate how final sounds. In the eyes of the law they may have been your property, but they were still people. You didn’t want them to think of themselves as something you possessed, however brief their stay with you would be.

The black-clad man slumps down the stairs, clearly displeased with the scene before him. Taehyung lowers his head between his shoulders and slinks back to his position on the couch, but Jimin stays by your side, slightly behind your shoulder. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was trying to use you as a shield from his hyung.

Yoongi stops in front of the kitchen, tugs out a bar stool and drops his weight into it. He’s still a good twenty feet away, but Jimin doesn’t look appeased. “You were sleeping, Hyung…” he purrs. “I didn’t want to disturb you-”

“Bullshit,” the bobcat huffs . “You two just wanted to scent like a bunch of cubs and you knew I’d stop you.”

Jimin’s bottom lip pokes out into a pout but he doesn’t deny the accusation.

“...Is scenting bad?”

Yoongi cuts his eyes at you and his stare is so icy, you get the feeling you shouldn’t have spoken at all. His tail lashes behind him.

“It’s not bad,” Jimin soothes, his hand finding your lower back. He rubs circles into it, trying to relax you. “It’s just-”

“It’s rude.” Yoongi cuts him off. “And they know better.”

Jimin wilts and slowly retracts his hand.

Yoongi rakes a hand back through his hair and you catch your first good look at his face. It’s small, his features soft but well articulated. He’s boyishly handsome- or would be if he wasn't fixing you and his junior with a look that could freeze hell over. “Jimin, Taehyung, go upstairs.”

The spotted hybrid behind doesn’t argue, just lets his tail and ears droop as he slumps toward the staircase, the tiger on his heels.”

It’s only once they’ve disappeared around a corner and a door shuts that Yoongi speaks again.”What do you want us for?”

Your brow furrows in confusion. “Why do you think I want you for something?”

“This isn’t our first time doing this,” he drawls. “You people think just because you can have something, you should . So, you go out and buy exotic hybrids that you can walk around on a gold leash to show off to all of your friends. Or you take us off suppressants so you can take advantage of us. Or you treat us like dolls. You don’t think we’re real. We’re just toys to you, and if you break us? Well, that’s okay because you can always buy another.”

Your mouth feels dry. Was that what his life had been like up until this point? A revolving door of people who only saw him as temporary entertainment and gave him back when he turned out to be more trouble than they thought he was worth? You knew that feeling; were more familiar with it than you’d care to admit or remember. “I’m not like that,” You insist, softly.

“I don’t know what you’re like,” Yoongi scoffs. “And if you’re just gonna send us back in a month, I don’t really care to find out.” An uncomfortable silence settles between the two of you. He doesn’t seem bothered by it, his gray gaze still focused to a sharp point in you. “Jimin, Taehyung, they’re young. They still have hope. You’re only Tae’s second owner. You’re Jimin’s third.” A pause, and then, “You’re my eighth. I know how this goes.” He pushes up from the bar stool and stalks back toward the stairs. “I don’t care how you treat me,” he calls back over his shoulder as he retreats back to the second floor. “But don’t get their hopes up by pretending to be something you’re not.”

A door slams and you flinch. You’re alone again

This day was not going how you thought it would. All the videos you’d watched online had shown bright eyes hybrids smiling as they were embraced by their new families, happy to be taken home. None of them had covered what to do if your hybrid didn’t want to be at home and certainly not how to handle an exotic one.

You shuffle over to the living room, toss your backpack onto the floor and step over the back of the couch into the sunken living room . You settle down, cross-legged and pull out your phone.You open up your web app and input your first query.

my hybrid hates me

3.5 million results.

You scroll down, article after article explaining how you should deal with dog hybrids challenging your authority, bunny hybrids thumping because they felt insecure, and cat hybrids knocking things over in a bid to get your attention. You suck your teeth. None of these were going to help you. You tap on the search bar and edit your request.

my exotic hybrid hates me

182 results. Most of them were for porn. You quickly hit the back button.

“Okay,” you mutter. “Let’s try something else.”

what is hybrid scenting

18.6 million results.

The top one is from the International Association of Hybrid Owners and you figure that’s as good a source as any. You tap it and scan the first paragraph.

Hybrids have a sense of smell that is thousands of times more powerful than a human’s. Scent is used to interpret emotions, track food in the wild and identify members of a family group. Juvenile hybrids often gravitate toward familiar smells in order to self-soothe if their parent is not available.

Upon welcoming a new hybrid into your home they may wish to mix their scent with yours in order to signify your new bond or let other hybrids know that you are a member of their family group. If there are multiple hybrids in the home, it is important that the dominant hybrid be allowed to scent you first, then the subordinate hybrid(s) in order of age. If this scenting order is not enforced, it can cause disharmony within the family group and tension between members.

You close the article and set your phone down. Was that why Yoongi was upset? Because Jimin and Taehyung had essentially marked you as a member of their family without his say so and undermined his authority? You flop back against the couch cushions. You were sure that wasn’t the only reason but it certainly didn’t help

You think about the cold look in Yoongi’s eyes, about how eager Jimin and Taehyung had been to get their scent on you, about how tightly Jimin had held onto your hands, like you were going to slip away into smoke at any moment. You drag your hands down over your eyes. Well, one thing was for certain. You certainly couldn’t send them back now.

#bts fic #bts x reader #bts x y/n #hybrid!bts #ot7 x reader #seokjin x reader #namjoon x reader #jhope x reader #yoongi x reader #taehyung x reader #jimin x reader #jungkook x reader

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yutahoes · 4 years ago

Text

Devil Inside

pairing : childhood friends! Yuta x Y/N

genre : fluff, horror au, smut but not detailed

word count: 5.6k words

warnings: fuckboy Yuta, calling someone a 'goth girl', horror movies, Yuta becomes an incubus, too much blood, raw meat eating, flesh eating, human organ eating, slut shaming a minor character, calling Yuta a whore, killing, mention of male molestation, mentioned teacher-student intercourse, shirtless Yuta, mentions of breeding, mentioned kitchen sex, mentioned shower sex, mentioned rough sex, Y/N getting wounded, skipping classes, Yuta as a murderer, a cambion. In other words, this is disturbing and problematic.

a/n: Inspired by this set of pictures and the movie Jennifer's Body. This is my first time writing a horror themed AU and this is badly written. I just can't stop thinking about this so for me to do something productive today, I had to post this. 😂 This has uncomfortable theme so please read in moderation. I went crazy over this, sorry. Feedback is highly appreciated. 😘

You and Yuta had been friends since forever, stemming from the history of your parents being friends and all since college. Your home is his home and you have your own room in his house. Staying together inside one room isn't a problem, your parents trusted you both but growing up is different.

You had to admit that you grew up leading a boring life, too bookish, and didn't even interact with your classmates. Yuta, on the other hand, has always been the life of the party, the school superstar, the popular guy. And that huge difference created a wall between your friendship.

You didn't know when it started, it just did. He started hanging out with the cool kids while you were left in the shadows. You can't really get mad at him, that's growing up. And he didn't change when it was just the two of you.

When your parents would go abroad for their business trips, Yuta would check on you every night. If you have eaten dinner, if you've locked all the windows, or if you knew the number for the police station or the fire station in case something happens. He's still the same Yuta. Your childhood friend, Yuta.

"Did you do your assignments?" He asked, not removing his eyes from the TV where he's watching a horror film. This is something that he can't do at their home or his mom would freak out.

You rolled your eyes, answering a 'Yes, abeoji' while opening the fridge to see what to have for breakfast tomorrow then whining since there's more raw food in there than easy-to-eat foods. "I'll probably skip breakfast tomorrow." You said more to yourself, already thinking to wake up early and just get some waffles from the shop near the bus stop.

"Just leave the back door unlocked, I'll cook breakfast for you tomorrow." Yuta claimed that made you look at him.

You raised your eyebrow at that. "Weird that you're here." You started then sat next to him on the couch, "No date?" He showed a screenshot of her photo, a different girl than yesterday. She was wearing black, with black eyeliner, and a pierced eyebrow. "She looks like a goth. Is that your type now?"

"She's hot!" He exclaimed and you just nodded at him. "And she wants to meet at 11 pm so yeah." That was a weird time to meet up. But you didn't react and just focused on the TV just as the jump scare happened. You quickly hid your face on the throw pillow, blowing heavy breaths that made the guy next to you laugh. You hated horror, hated blood, and you're convinced that Yuta is doing this to scare you. "I'll get going." He said, standing up.

"Can you close the TV first? Or stop the movie, at least?" You said, face still behind the pillow. He laughed then closed the TV, engulfing you in darkness that made you more scared. The bloody face from the TV earlier flashing on your mind.

"Sorry Y/N. I promised not to scare you like that again." You heard him say then felt something warm on the top of your head followed by a smooching sound. He patted your head, "I really have to go. I'll see you in the morning."

You waited for the sound of the door closing before you removed the throw pillow from your burning face. He kissed your head, right? You felt that. Why would he do that? Does he know that you have a crush on him? Or is it just his manwhore ways? But why you? You screamed at the throw pillow, cursing at Yuta for being the charming guy he is.

You cannot deny the fact that each day, your feelings for Yuta had to grow. Who are you to blame when he's getting more handsome each day? And you're just a girl who has a weak heart for him. The image was still vivid in your mind, the first time you watched a horror movie and you were already crying in fright ten minutes into the movie. "I will protect you, Y/N." And you believed that. Yuta is always there to protect you.

A loud bang can be heard that made you wake up in your sleep. You listened for other noises and heard footsteps, someone is inside your home. The first instinct is to call Yuta but what if he's in another place, you cannot trouble him. So you just took the baseball bat he lent you for this circumstance, repeating in your mind the number of the police station.

You quietly tiptoed down the stairs and saw the light of the refrigerator open. Is it a food thief? And how did he come inside your house? You can see a trail of blood on the kitchen floor that startled you. The bat was dropped on the floor when you saw someone seated in front of the refrigerator. "Yuta?"

He was covered in blood, eating the raw beef as if starving. His eyes were blood cold and you stepped back in fright. He looks like a monster. What kind of a crazy dream is this? You have to do something to wake up. Anything to wake yourself up.

And as stupid as you sound, you hit your head with the bat that was on the ground.

You opened your eyes, the sunlight hitting your eyes and your head aching real bad as if something hit you. You groaned while stretching then remembered your dream. Yuta. Your kitchen. Quickly, you ran to the kitchen to see Yuta’s mom cooking something. “I’m glad you’re up. You’ll be late for class.”

“Auntie, where is Yuta?” She shrugged, saying that he didn’t even go home last night. It was a normal occurrence, that’s part of Yuta’s social life. “I’ll just prepare for school.” When you glanced at the couch, Yuta’s baseball bat was there. Weird, isn’t it supposed to be in your room?

You had a nice breakfast, thanks to Yuta’s mom, and enough time to go to school. The first thing was to get your books in your locker and walk to class, avoiding some of your schoolmates who block the way. Before you can get inside the room, you see Yuta passing by opposite your way with a new girl in his arms. You knew her, the cheerleader, the basketball team’s girlfriend. Wow, she reached the soccer team now. When your eyes met with Yuta, you were reminded of him seated on your kitchen floor. Filled with blood and with dead cold eyes. You shake your head. That was a dream. You shivered. A very vivid dream.

It was a normal boring school day, a typical day that it surprised you when Yuta wrapped his arms around you then leaned closer. “I need your help.” A curious look was etched on your face. “Math. Help me study for the exam tomorrow.” You nodded, removing his hand from your shoulder. “Why?” He asked before putting back his hand on you.

“I just don’t want your girlfriends to misunderstand.” Yuta chuckled then pinched your cheek. “Yuta, stop it. It hurts.”

He smiled. That breathtaking smile which makes you weak for him. “Sorry.” He whispered then leaned to place a kiss on your reddening cheek, startling you. Your eyes widened at his actions. What is wrong with Yuta? “You do know that I like you more than I like those girls, right?” What? Your heart kept on beating wildly against your chest that you’re scared he might hear it. “I’ll see you later, Y/N.”

Once you breathe in, without realizing that you’re holding your breath, you saw everyone’s eyes were on you. Oh no! This is trouble.

You went home early, trying to stay away from your schoolmates. You don’t want to talk to them and explain that you’re friends with Yuta, that will cause some damage to him. But why did he do that? You tried raking your brains for an answer but you can’t seem to find the right one. So you just shrugged it and maybe ask Yuta when he gets to your house.

It’s late at night. You finished reviewing the whole chapter for your exam tomorrow yet Yuta is a no show. You lightly glanced at the house next door, seeing that the living room lights were on. Their car isn’t in the garage, meaning his parents are not at home. Then you saw the silhouette of someone making out on the couch. Oh, his ditching makes sense now. You closed the door and made sure to close the light, ready to get a good night’s sleep.

You opened your eyes in darkness, the clock reading that it’s almost 4 am. You felt thirsty that you decided to go downstairs to get a cup of water, halfway through the stairs you can see someone on the other door’s yard digging up something. Curious, you put on a coat and exited the backdoor to check on it. The same Yuta, covered in blood, and this time you knew you weren’t dreaming.

“Yuta?” You called but he kept digging. Blood mixed with the soil and the most horrible thing you can see, limbs. “Yuta.” You called once again, even holding his shoulder to make him look at you. He kept covering the body with the soil, even covering it up with a large pot. What has he done? This isn’t the Yuta you know and it scared you.

“Y/N.” He called that made you look at him. The warmth of his voice is still there. “Help me, please.” He sounded broken. “I’m really scared.” The first time you saw this reaction on Yuta. He looks so fragile, so vulnerable.

There’s a part of you that’s still wary of him. You have questions in your head that you wanted to ask him and you waited for him to finish his shower, while you make coffee for both of you, as you collect your thoughts. When he sat in front of you at the kitchen table, he looked like the Yuta you knew except there’s pain in his eyes. “Yuta.” You called, rubbing the side of your cup. “What…?” But you don’t know what to ask him.

“I killed Miss Jang.” Your eyes widened in surprise. The assistant PE teacher? “We had amazing sex and then…” You shook your head. He had sex with a teacher? Wow, his man whoring is of another level. “You don’t understand, she’s been touching me appropriately for the past couple of months so I just gave her what she wanted.”

A gasp escaped your throat. “She’s what?” He just stared at you. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“Do you think someone would believe me?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

He shook his head. “Because it’s embarrassing.” You scoffed then rolled your eyes at him. “So you killed her?”

“I ate her.”

“Yuta, I don’t need the details of your sexcapades…”

“I ate her organs.” Your eyes widened in surprise. What? “It’s a craving after having sex with someone. I just want to eat something raw and her flesh can’t even satisfy me.” That explains why he’s covered with blood.

The memory of that night came to you, when he was eating that raw meat from the fridge. “When did it start?” He answered last night and you were more surprised that it is true and not a dream. “How?” He shrugged. “What do you plan to do now?”

“I don’t know.” He held your hand that was on the table, looking at you with pleading eyes. “Help me, please. I don’t want to kill another woman again.” You sighed. This was Yuta. Your childhood friend. The guy you like. You nodded before thinking how stupid it is to do this.

The news of Miss Jang being missing is the talk in your class the next day but what’s more surprising is some testimony of the guys who were molested by her, like Yuta. You watched as your friend fiddled with his thumbs, obviously listening to your classmates. He actually did them a favor but something isn’t right. Why is this happening to Yuta?

A sexual thirst, a thirst for flesh. Your phone showed a result called an incubus, a demon that pursues sexual relations with women. But why does Yuta keep on eating flesh to satisfy his craving? You stood up and decided to ditch class just to have the answers to your questions, finding yourself in the back of the library. The collection of forbidden books.

“What are you doing here?” You immediately hushed Yuta as you got hold of a black book, opening it to reveal different pentagrams and illustrations of spooky creatures. “What is that?”

“An incubus.” You said then sat on the library floor, Yuta following you. “Demons who attract women for sexual pleasure.” Before he could say anything else, “I think that was what is happening to you.”

You visibly saw him gulp. “You think I’m a demon?” No, you don’t.

“Possessed by a demon, Yuta.” You flipped the pages of the book to see about the different rituals on how to summon a demon. “Did you join a cult? Or even got drugged and was offered as a human sacrifice?” You stopped. That night. That girl. “The goth girl, you saw her that night. Do you remember what happened?”

“We had sex.” You rolled your eyes at that, of course. “I told her I’m a virgin because she likes guys like that. We had amazing sex, mind-blowing sex.” You sighed. “Then I woke up on your kitchen floor.” That’s all he remembers? Finally, your thoughts are confirmed, it isn’t a dream. You really saw Yuta that night. “You were lying on the ground as well and I had to remove my shirt before carrying you to your room.”

The thought of the shirtless Yuta carrying you made the blood rose up your cheeks. “You were covered in blood that time and the trail…”

“I had to clean that up before you wake up because you’re scared of blood.” You stared at him warmly. He had to think about that? “You saw me?” You nodded, sharing that he was eating that raw meat when you saw him. “Did I scare you?” If there was one person you cannot lie to, that would be Yuta. He can easily see through you. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I won’t hurt you, I promise that.”

You held his hand, giving it a light squeeze. “I’ll help you, Yuta. We can remove that demon inside you.”

The only conclusion you can come up with is to meet with the same goth girl he met before. Yuta remembered having sex with her and he was eating that raw meat as if really hungry so she might be alive, Yuta didn’t kill her. And you have to hurry because each night that passes, Yuta has someone to bury in the backyard. It's a female prostitute one night, then a drug pusher, followed by the girl in class who bullied you.

It's becoming a huge issue in town, the disappearance of young girls, that your parents had to come home quickly worried about your safety. "From now on, go home early." Your dad ordered. "I'll ask Yuta to walk you home every day." How would they feel if Yuta was the one doing all these?

He was worried about you joining him in meeting up with the girl, even repeating to you that he'll kill himself if something bad happens to you but you assured him that you'll be fine. It's not you who needed help now, it was him. You need to put a stop to this before another one gets hurt.

The girl was laughing cynically when you asked her what to do to remove the demon inside your friend. "A cambion." She answered and you curiously gave her a look. "That's the goal of an incubus. Once there's a cambion, he will leave the body he's possessing."

A cambion? All you need is to have a cambion so the demon can leave Yuta. You searched what it was and just facepalmed yourself. Fuck this! Will he be saved?

----

"You want me to breed someone?" You shiver at his choice of words but nod, nonetheless. "How can I do that when eating them becomes part of the sexual process?"

You shook your head then ruffled your hair. This is getting you crazy. "You know, this is your fault for whoring around. If you just had a fixed girlfriend then this wouldn't happen…"

"Then why did you reject my confession?" You blinked twice as if it can clear what you heard. Did you hear him correctly? "I told you I'll marry you in senior year and what is your answer? I'm not marrying you, Yuta." He said while copying your voice, leaving you dumbfounded. "I was heartbroken that time so I started dating other girls then maybe you can finally notice me."

"I thought you were teasing me that time." Your voice got louder that your mom knocked on the door asking if you two were fighting. He shook his head, smiling at your mom. When she closed the door, you just stared at him awkwardly. Once again, you had to ruffle your hair. This is so frustrating! "Just, make a baby with someone."

You waited, biting your thumb as the clock struck 3 am. You haven't had the right sleep thinking of what might happen to Yuta then you saw movement in the yard. Quietly, you went out of the backdoor of your house and saw him outside, blood on his clothes. "What happened?"

He shook his head. "Same."

"Where is her body?" You removed your cardigan to wipe away the blood from his face and his neck.

He looks tired, hopeless. "I left her body on a roadside." You gasped at that. "I can't save myself. I'll be like this forever." He can't, he needed to fight himself. Fight his urges. But even you knew that it was impossible.

There was a flicker of light coming from their kitchen, someone was going to see you. They're going to see Yuta with a bloody shirt like this. "Remove your shirt." You ordered and he looked confused so you just ripped it from him. Shit, you just realized how this looked like when two booming voices can be heard calling both your names. Both your dads.

"Where is your shirt?" Your dad asked, arms crossed. You're inside your house, both your fathers and mothers staring at the two of you. "And you're wearing only that outside?" You glanced at the thin nightgown you were wearing and Yuta handed you a throw pillow. "Please wear your shirt, Yuta."

"I ripped his shirt, dad." You heard both your moms giggle. "Can we please not make a big deal of this? This isn't what you think it is."

Yuta's dad sighed. "Our only concern is why bother doing it outside? We let you sleep in each other's room." What?

"Are you exhibitionists?" Your mom asked and you gasped. Is that what they're thinking now? Your head aches, you didn't have any decent sleep yet and this ordeal with Yuta is making you lose your mind. Can't you just all talk tomorrow, not at 4 in the morning?

Yuta held your hand, lacing your fingers together. "I'm willing to take responsibility if something happens to Y/N." Surprised, you glanced at him. Nothing happened, he knew that. What the hell is he saying so suddenly? "But can I please stay with Y/N tonight, uncle?"

It was a surprise when your dad allowed you both to go upstairs to your room but you had to wait until they're in their rooms before getting your cardigan and Yuta's blood-stained clothes from the yard. Yuta was still seated on your bed when you went back to your room, staring at you with his misty eyes.

He pulled you close, arms wrapped around your waist while his head was on your chest. "I'm scared." His hold got tighter. "I don't want to hurt anyone anymore." If you're frustrated with this, you realized Yuta might be in bigger pain than you are. You held his hair, threading your fingers along its strand. You've been together for so long but this has been the most intimate thing that you two had ever done. "You were right, this is my fault for hurting those girls. I used them for my self pleasure, to boost my ego. This is me getting punished for all of that."

You held his hands, kneeling in front of him to see his face. "But you don't deserve this, Yuta." You held his cheeks as tears started falling from his eyes. "We'll do something, I promise."

He pulled you up, letting you sit on his lap. The warmth of his eyes makes your heart beat rapidly inside your chest. "I love you, Y/N." Your eyes widened at the sudden confession, "I'm sorry for getting you dragged into this but I'm thankful you haven't left me yet." He hugged you, head on your shoulder and you can feel his warm breath on your neck. "I love you. I don't want you to leave me."

You wrapped your arms around his neck. He's scared, you can feel him shaking. "I won't leave you, Yuta." You let him sob in your chest like a little child just wanting some warmth. And you realized, this might be just what he needed.

Both of you skipped school that morning since you slept at 5 am, just laying next to each other. Your head on his chest, hands held together. It was him who first got out of bed, prepared himself, then placed a small kiss on our head before leaving your room. If only you could stay like this. But he had to go and fuck another woman tonight to satisfy his thirst, making your heart ache. Can you live like this?

Your parents and Yuta were seated around the dining table when you went down for breakfast. "We were just telling Yuta that we have a business trip in Brazil." You nodded, used to it by now. "And because of the news around, it would be better that he stay here with you." Your mom suggested that it made you surprised. After last night, they're letting you live in one roof with a guy, unsupervised?

"Mom. I can stay at home alone."

"I know. But just to be safe." You're not even safe with their suggestion. "I know what you're thinking honey. You're a female and a male with raging hormones, it's alright with us." Yuta choked on the food and you hissed at your parents.

Your dad coughed lightly. "We stacked some condoms just in case."

"Dad!"

"Honey, we agreed to let them have their freedom." You glared at your mom. "We really wanted a grandchild." It's your turn to choke at your food. Then it made you stop. If he breeds a human, the incubus will go away. This might just be your answer.

---

"No, Y/N!" Yuta stated firmly after explaining what your plan is. "What if I hurt you?"

You shook your head. You're not scared of that now but you're frightened for Yuta and the things that might happen to him if this continues on. The police started investigating the missing dead girls, it's only a matter of time before they can chase down Yuta. You held his cheeks, distress can be seen in his expression. "I trust you, Yuta."

It was a crazy plan. When your parents left that afternoon, you stacked up some raw meat that the butcher thought you were throwing a party. Yuta didn't kill the first girl, the goth girl, and you're holding to that belief that Yuta can have some control over himself. When the night struck, you locked all doors to your house that would forbid Yuta from going out.

"I'm giving you the last chance to back out from this, Y/N." You shook your head. "I'm sorry." He whispered, carrying you to the countertop of the kitchen. "If something bad happens, I'll kill myself. I swear."

You giggled then wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. "Then we'll be like Romeo and Juliet." He laughed at your reference before moving closer to plant his lips on yours. Your first kiss with Yuta. His lips were so soft and he tasted so sweet that made your brain hazy.

When he slipped his tongue inside you and his fingers dug on your waist, you knew there's no way you can get out of this. You can feel his warmth in every touch, in every part of your skin his lips touched. He slowly undressed you, making sure that he's still Yuta and whispering promises that he wouldn't hurt you. He didn't at first and you refused to believe that you made love with him at your kitchen counter.

The grandfather clock signaled that it is midnight. Yuta just pulled you down from the kitchen counter, turning you around, and thrust into you that made you scream. No foreplay, no kissing. You turned to see his eyes, those dead eyes. His hand held your neck, the other digging in your waist. You prevent making a sound, not wanting to alert his parents next door. His teeth dig in your shoulder, an excruciating pain that makes you bite your lip to prevent a sound. This is how he kills them.

You tried to reach for the raw meat nearby, desperately trying to move out of his hold. You pushed yourself away from the counter, causing him to fall to the ground. You watched as he took the meat and ate it as if starved, like the first night you saw him in this state. Every night, he's like this. An appetite for sex, an appetite for flesh.

And it breaks your heart that you can't do anything to help him.

He ate five portions of the raw meat and you mentally told yourself to get some tomorrow for what might happen at night. You covered him with a blanket as he lay down your kitchen floor, kissing his forehead. You wanted this to stop, wanted him to be normal again. You clean the wound on your shoulder as well as the scratch on your side, hissing in pain as you put medicine on the bleeding part.

You woke up with his warm arms wrapped around you, a kiss on your wounded shoulder woke you up. "Did I do this? I really did hurt you." He grazed his finger on the spot that hurt as you shook your head. He nuzzled his nose on your shoulder and you felt his warmth. "I don't know what to do anymore."

"But Yuta this is better. We know that you still have control over yourself." You sat on the bed and he traced the scratch on your side. "When the clock struck twelve, that's when you started having that hunger. We're slowly knowing things about you now. We can do this together, Yuta."

He nodded, watching you stand up then head to the bathroom. You were supposed to close the door when you felt him enter the same room. The warm feeling is back when his hands touch your body, in contrast to the cold water cascading down your body. You skipped class again because of the pain in your shoulder and he went to school.

If this continues, it's better to listen to both your parents and just get married. Live together in a far city where you can start a new life, maybe you can give birth to Yuta's child and it will end his suffering. As you put new meat inside the fridge, you heard a knock on the door. Yuta came in with a distressed look on his face. "The police are at school. They were starting to suspect a student at school."

"Did you do anything?" He shook his head, hands clasped together. "Just lay low for a while."

"What if they found out that it was me?" You shook your head, that's the worst-case scenario. And you promise not to let that happen.

He stayed at your house, particularly your room that night. When the clock struck twelve, you were pushed on your bed with Yuta pounding on you real rough. The moment you felt his lips on your neck, you rolled to the bed and reached for the raw meat on the bedside table. You breathed hard, you can do this.

The police were doing their best, you had to give them that. And it scares you that they'll narrow it down to you and Yuta doing these things. The disappearance of the women stopped but the deaths were a mystery that the police remained to look for clues. It's been a couple of nights since you've done this with Yuta and every day, a new wound would appear on your body.

Your parents came back from their business trip when they noticed the amount of raw meat in your fridge and the wounds in your body. You tried to shrug it off, saying that it's just your clumsiness. Yet, they never bought it. You cannot ask Yuta to stay over so you keep your phone in your ear, watching his room for movements. The moment the clock struck midnight, nothing happened to your surprise. He kept saying that he's fine, that he doesn't need anything, that he's still Yuta. Maybe an off day.

You slept relieved but woke up with the sound of police sirens. You glanced at the window outside and saw the yard next door being dug out by your dad and some men in uniform, Yuta's dad watching nearby. How? You ran downstairs to check on Yuta but your mom quickly told you to stay inside. "We're sorry, we trusted you to a murderer."

"He's not." You shouted trying to see from the window. Yuta was handcuffed, a large man holding him in place. He shook his head when your eyes met and the sight of rotten decaying bones caught your attention.

Your stomach churned and you vomited on the kitchen sink, your mom helping you by rubbing your back. "He's such a sweet child. What happened to Yuta?" Your mom asked and you itched to tell her that it's not him. A devil inside him.

Your eyes widened at the realization. Nothing happened last night. Now, you're having this weird feeling in your body. A cambion. And you felt yourself fainting at that information.

---

It's been years, seven years to be exact when that moment happened to your life. Yuta's parents moved to a different town but you still see them from time to time, as well as your parents. When they found out that you were pregnant with Yuta's child, they immediately sent you away to give birth abroad. Your son was three when you went back to the country and introduced him to his dad.

"Daddy!" Your son cheered seeing his dad walking outside the huge gates of the visitor's area. The older was grinning wide, carrying his son to where you are. He kissed you on your forehead and your son giggled, "Daddy, mommy said I can go to a big school this year." He nodded, letting the young boy sat on his lap. "Grandma and grandpa are going to buy me my bag."

Yuta giggled and you noticed how the two looked very much alike. It was the exact reason why your parents warmed up on Yuta and let you introduce your son to him. "I'm sorry. But when dad gets out of here, I'm going to pick you up from school every day."

You can feel your eyes water at that. The younger boy wrapped his arms around his neck, "When are you getting out of here?" You both sighed. It's always his question.

"Just another three years, then we can be together." There's a lot of pain in his words. "You and mommy can wait for me, right?" Your son nodded.

He reached out to hold your hand that was above the table. You nodded at him. You waited this long, another three years wouldn't hurt. He engaged in another conversation with the younger boy and you gazed at him, he looks better than the first few years he's here.

"Time to get back, Nakamoto." The police officer said and your son hugged his father's neck, refusing to let go of him.

This has always been a problem every time you visit Yuta. "Honey, we have to go. Daddy has to get back." You said quietly, taking him from Yuta. Your son glared at the big man behind his dad and he just turned his head to look at the wall. "Honey, let's get ice cream." You said quickly and the younger smiled at you. The guard turned around, asking what happened that his head was hurting.

Yuta gave you a worried look but you just shook your head, putting sunglasses on your son. "Say bye to daddy." You whispered and he obeyed you. "I'll come to visit you soon."

He kissed you on the forehead, "I'm sorry." Again. you shook your head. No one warned you about having a cambion and the risk it takes to be its parents. "I love you." But right now, your son and Yuta are the most important people in your life.

"I love you, too." And you're willing to throw everything in the past just to be happy with your small family.

#yuta #yuta nakamoto #nakamoto yuta #yuta horror #horror au #nct horror #nct 127 horror #yuta nakamoto horror #nakamoto yuta horror #nct 127 yuta horror #nct 127 yuta

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cuddlepilefics · 3 years ago

Text

Right here

Fandom: Stray Kids

Sickie: Jisung

Caregivers: Chan & Minho

Prompt: Sneaky temperature check @sicktember

No one’s POV.:

Jisung had started feeling off only a little after having lunch with his group. Maybe it was the food not sitting right but whatever it was, it certainly took a toll on the rapper’s mood. Earlier that day, he had fooled around with his friends, being full of energy, but the longer the day progressed, the quieter he became. The slight discomfort he had felt in his stomach earlier had turned into a painful ache that made it hard for Jisung to find a comfortable position in his seat. The entire group was currently at the studio recording but unlike usual, the rapper wasn’t really in it with his whole heart. Usually, he’d give his friends encouraging smiles and advice on how they could do better but today, he was quiet, only speaking when he was asked something. The same couldn’t be said for his stomach though, which often decided to gurgle loudly when everything around him was silent. “That really didn’t sound good, you sure you’re feeling alright?”, Chan frowned, sitting next to Jisung and hearing the younger’s stomach rumble angrily. Patting his tummy, Jisung laughed: “I feel fine actually. My tummy’s just really noisy right now.” It was only partly a lie. His stomach was indeed noisy but to be honest, he didn’t feel fine at all. The pain was only getting worse and all his attempts of playing it off had exhausted the rapper. He was ready to just go home and curl up in his bed. At least that was what he intended to do as soon as they were done here.

Towards the end of their recording session, he had had to excuse himself to the restroom multiple times, feeling increasingly queasy. However, when he got there, the feeling eased up, so he just stood there rubbing his tummy and taking deep breaths before going back to the studio. When he returned from his last trip, his members had already packed and only waited for him, so they could head back to the dorm for dinner. Jisung cringed at the thought of having to eat anything but knew he didn’t have much of a choice if he didn’t want to admit to feeling sick. Had he thrown up at all, he would probably open up to his members but since it was only a stomach ache up to this point, he’d rather handle it on his own. The ride back to the dorm was straining to say the least, as every turn of the road caused his stomach to slosh nauseatingly. Staring out of the window, Jisung rested his head against the cool glass and took deep breaths through his nose as he fought to keep his stomach in place. Cold sweat was running down his back as he flashed hot and cold.

By the time they made it to the dorm, the rapper’s shirt was sticking to his back and he unsteadily stumbled out of the vehicle, relieved to be on solid, unmoving ground again. Minho watched him stumble and linked their arms to steady his dongsaeng. Though Jisung wouldn’t admit it, he was extremely grateful for the support, not sure he would have made it up to the dorm on his own. He had to resist the urge to crouch to the ground and cradle his poor tummy when a cramp twisted his abdomen. Minho tried his hardest not to let the worry show, hearing the rapper’s pained gasp. He just hoped the boy would speak up about what was bothering him. The dancer also noted, that Jisung had gotten progressively paler over the course of the afternoon. At this point, he was certain the younger was sick but if he was, why wouldn’t he say anything?

At the dorm, Jisung made a beeline for his room, plopping down on the edge of his bed and hugging his cramping middle. It was a mystery to him how he could go from feeling perfectly fine this morning to being this miserable now. “Hey, are you okay, hyung?”, Jeongin frowned, entering their shared room. He had intended to get the older to join them for dinner but was taken a back when he found the rapper basically folded over his lap, hugging his stomach. Jisung nodded, flinching when he forced himself to sit up straight. The maknae wasn’t buying it but decided not to press on the topic, merely stating: “Dinner’s ready and Chan wanted me to get you.” – “O-Okay, ‘m coming”, the older muttered, struggling to his feet only to pale further. The room was spinning and he swayed for a moment before regaining his balance. Jeongin watched him closely, his brows furrowed. Something wasn’t right with his hyung at all. Joining their members for dinner, Jisung cringed at the smell of food. His stomach churned painfully and sweat dripped down his temple. How was he supposed to get through this without throwing his dinner right back up? The members had compiled a wide variety of food, partly left-overs from the previous day and partly take-out that the members, who finished recording first, picked up. Praying he would somehow be able to stomach it, Jisung settled for a small serving of plain rice as he considered it his safest chance.

The members knew Jisung was sick, from his odd behavior to his dinner choice to the tiny amount he ate. The rapper may have thought he was hiding his discomfort alright but anyone who knew him could tell something was up. Worried about their friend, they wanted to know what was going on, so they’d be able to help but knowing he would deny everything if they asked him directly, they just tried to push him to admitting it. It started with Chan scooping more rice onto Jisung’s plate, claiming: “I don’t want you to get hungry for midnight snacks during the night.” Jisung didn’t know how he did it but somehow, he managed to finish all of it, fully aware that he’d come to regret that decision later on. When they cleared the table, Felix hugged him from behind, feeling the rapper tense up in his arms. It took all of Jisung’s willpower to not throw up right there and he struggled to quickly remove the Aussie’s arms from his sensitive middle. He was just about to flee back to his room, when Minho pulled him to the living room. “We hadn’t had a movie night in such a long time and we don’t have to get up all that early tomorrow, so let’s have some quality time”, the dancer beamed, dragging his dongsaeng to the couch. “Hyung, I’m sorry but I’m really tired. I think I’ll just go to bed”, Jisung frowned, trying to get come up with some reason why he couldn’t spend more time with the group. Minho smiled and made the younger sit down next to him on the couch, promising: “You can lay on my lap. It’s no problem if you fall asleep halfway through but I really missed you, so please…”

Jisung really couldn’t bare hurting his hyung’s feelings, so he let himself be talked into watching a movie with the rest of the group. Taking Minho up on his offer, he had his head on the dancer’s lap, while the older played with his hair. Maybe it had been the right decision because it distracted him from his pain enough to fall asleep. When Minho was sure Jisung was out completely, he whispered: “Chan-hyung, could you get me a thermometer? His face feels pretty warm. The forehead one would be best because the ear one would probably wake him.” – “On it”, the leader agreed, quietly getting up and collecting the thermometer from the bathroom. When he returned, Minho had already brushed Jisung’s bangs out of his face to allow the oldest easier access to his forehead. Chan carefully approached them and quickly took his dongsaeng’s temperature, detecting a moderate fever. Just when he pulled the thermometer away, Jisung’s stomach gurgled loudly, confirming their suspicions further. “We should really get him to bed”, Chan sighed, “Can you help me, Min?” The dancer nodded and got up as soon as Chan had picked the rapper up from the couch. Minho went ahead, opening the door to Jisung’s room and folding back the blanket. They tucked their dongsaeng in and closed the door, so he could rest undisturbed.

The next time Jisung woke up, it was already after midnight. The dorm was dark and quiet, the members all except for Jisung sleeping soundly. At first, the rapper was confused as to what had woken him at such an early hour. Flushing hot, he felt his stomach twist and quickly pushed off the blanket. Jisung staggered to the bathroom, one arm protectively wrapped around his middle, as he fought off the nausea. He squinted, blinded by the bright bathroom light, feeling disoriented as he crashed to his knees in front of the toilet. A harsh but unproductive retch tore from his throat, making the boy shudder at the thought of what was to come. Sweat trickled down the rapper’s back as he knelt there, swallowing convulsively. He couldn’t be sick. Jisung crossed his arms over the toilet bowl and rested his forehead on them, drawing a shaky breath through his nose. He hated throwing up, so much so, that he was determined to fight it off with every ounce of energy he might have left. Another cramp had him cry out in pain, quickly silencing himself by biting his lip. He couldn’t wake anyone else up. In a desperate attempt to get some relief, Jisung slipped his hand under his shirt, gently drawing circles with his palm. He could feel the upset organ churn under his hand as his mouth started to water even more. Squeezing his eyes shut, he gagged hard, relieved when nothing came up. There was no way he’d let this happen.

Waking up to an empty room, Jeongin waited ten minutes for his roommate to come back. When he didn’t, the maknae decided to search for Jisung. He spotted light under the bathroom door and gently tapped his fingers against the wood. When there was no answer, he quietly opened the door and found the missing rapper curled up on the rug. Though he was asleep, his brows were furrowed in pain as his forehead glistened with sweat. Knowing this wasn’t good, Jeongin went to wake up Chan, who was up in an instant when his dongsaeng explained what was going on. “Why don’t you sleep here, Innie? I’ll take care of Jisung but you don’t need to lose more sleep, so I’ll just stay in your and Jisung’s room, okay?”, the leader offered. Still feeling sleepy, Jeongin nodded and got comfortable in Chan’s bed, while the older went to check on the sick rapper. He found the boy curled up on the bathroom rug, just like Jeongin had described and he really didn’t look good. Jisung’s face was way too pale for Chan’s liking and his bangs clung to his sweaty forehead. Not having the heart to wake his dongsaeng, he carefully brushed his hair out of his face and placed his palm across his forehead, shocked to find it burning.

Just as he was contemplating how he was going to get Jisung back to bed without waking him, Minho stumbled into the bathroom. He didn’t know what had woken him but was soon certain it had been his intuition, telling him his dongsaeng wasn’t doing too well. “Hyung?”, he questioned, startling Chan, “What’s going on?” – “I don’t know. Innie found him like this and I was just about to get him back to bed”, the leader sighed. They were both startled when Jisung curled up further, whimpering in pain. Minho knelt down next to him and nudged his shoulder, frowning: “Sungie, hey? What’s wrong?” – “Stomach’s killing me”, the younger muttered, still half-asleep. “Did you throw up?”, Chan asked as the rapper became more awake. Jisung shook his head, admitting: “Felt like it but didn’t.” Sitting up, he drew his legs closer to his chest and rested his chin on his knees. Taking a closer look at him, now that the boy was awake, Chan frowned: “How long have you felt like this?” – “Hm, kinda started after lunch. Might have eaten something wrong”, Jisung mumbled, closing his eyes again. Minho ran a comforting hand down the rapper’s back, cringing in sympathy when he felt how sweat-soaked his shirt was. “Sung, I don’t think it has anything to do with what you ate”, the dancer hummed, “You’re running quite a temperature, so I think you must have caught some kind of bug. Do you feel ready to go back to bed?” – “’m so tired, I think I’ll just sleep here on the floor”, the younger refused, keeping his eyes closed. While Minho tried to convince Jisung to go back to his room, Chan sighed: “Oh dear! I’ll grab the puke bucket and thermometer.”

After lots of convincing, Minho helped Jisung to his feet, only to have the boy bend over, hugging his middle as his stomach cramped up again. “It’s okay, just try to breathe through the pain”, the dancer hummed, resting his hand on Jisung’s shoulder. The rapper shook his head urgently, choking out: “Hyung, I don’t feel so good.” Sighing, Minho was quick to get his dongsaeng situated on his knees in front of the toilet. He could tell the younger was fighting his hardest to keep it together but couldn’t help let a tear fall down his feverishly flushed cheek. “Sungie, just let it up. I’m pretty sure you’ll feel better after getting this over with”, Minho whispered, crouching down next to the rapper. Shaking his head, Jisung grit his teeth. “Come on, if it’s making you feel this bad, it would be better to get it out than keep it in you”, the older sighed but Jisung refused: “Don’ wan’ to. Hate it.” He instantly pursed his lips, barely able to swallow back a gag. “I know it’s no fun but I don’t think you’ll feel better like this, Sung. Just get it over with and I’ll help you back to bed, so you can sleep it off”, Minho promised, running a hand through the boy’s sweaty hair. Drawing in a shaky breath, Jisung pleaded quietly: “W-Will you rub my back?” – “Of course, I’ll rub your back”, the dancer whispered back, placing his hand on his dongsaeng’s damp shirt and gently stroking up and down his spine.

Assured by the presence of his hyung right beside him, Jisung’s resolve slowly crumbled. The next time his stomach clenched, he coughed up a large wave of his meager dinner. He was really glad he had settled for something bland to eat because he couldn’t bare tasting it again. Jisung didn’t have too much time to dwell on it, lurching over the bowl as more sick shot past his lips. He shuddered in disgust, feeling Minho squeeze his shoulder before going back to rubbing his back. Just as the next wave splattered into the bowl, Chan walked in to check on the two. He had waited in Jisung’s room after setting it up with a bucket, a bottle of water and a cup of tea on the nightstand. “Make it stop”, the rapper choked out before getting sick again. Minho calmly promised: “Just hang in there, it’s almost over.” Cooing at the dancer’s rarely showing protective side, Chan grabbed a washcloth and ran it under cool water. “Min’s right, you’re almost there, Sung. You’re okay”, the Aussie smiled, laying the cool cloth across Jisung’s neck. The boy only whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut. He hated this.

After a while, it didn’t seem like he could bring anything else up, although his stomach still hurt. He just wanted to sleep. “Let’s go to bed”, Minho cooed, getting up to help Jisung up too. The younger only groaned, resting his head on his arms. He just wanted to sleep, no matter where. Patting the rapper’s back, Chan laughed lightly: “Come on, Sungie. Your bed is much comfier. I’ll even carry you there if you manage to stand up for a second.” Blinking at the leader with teary eyes, Jisung pouted but took both of his hyungs’ hands and let them pull him to his feet. With how dizzy he suddenly felt, he didn’t manage to stand for longer than a second but it was enough for Chan to scoop him up bridal-style and like he had promised, the leader carried him back to bed. “Do you want to have some water?”, Minho offered, uncapping the bottle for his dongaseng. Jisung frowned but accepted a few sips, just to wash away the taste. Sitting down on Jeongin’s bed, Chan reminded: “The bucket’s right next to your bed. Don’t hesitate to wake us up if you feel sick again, yeah?” Jisung nodded, curling up under his blanket. He was surprised when Minho climbed into bed behind him. The dancer knew he was taking a high risk but his heart ached for his sick dongsaeng, so he wanted to give him as much comfort as humanly possible. “It’s alright”, Minho whispered, slipping his hand under Jisung’s shirt, “Let me rub your tummy and try to get to get some rest. Hyungs are right here.”

#stray kids #skz #fanfic #fanfiction #fluff #comfort #sick #sickfic #sicktember2021 #emeto #han jisung #minsung

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haifengg · 4 years ago

Text

A = Affection (How do they show their affection?) The kinship type of guy. A lot of holding hands and smiling forehead kisses. Almost everywhere does he wrap his arm around his s/o’s shoulder. At a basketball game or something he will pack an extra blanket or jacket to give to them if they’re cold. He is very thoughtful about the little things in a relationship.

B = Breath (What could their s/o do to take their breath away?) Their smile. Seeing their whole face light up when they are happy or amazed. How their eyes sparkle and maybe their dimples show? It’s his favorite thing in the world. His s/o’s smile makes his aches go away and his day clear up. It clears his mental acne really.

C = Cuddling (Do they cuddle? If they do, how and when do they cuddle?) Huge cuddler. All the time. (See more at H)

D = Dream (What do they dream of doing with their s/o?) He would want to take his s/o to Chicago and show them where he grew up. Introduce his parents and show his partner around. Make them taste his favourite pizza, maybe a road trip? The open road (the highway to heaven....), sunsets and gas stations. Have midnight pancakes and black coffee at a diner!

E = Effort (How much effort do they put into a relationship?) This I am not sure about. I would say he puts in a normal level of effort. Pretty much the same amount as his s/o. He shows them they are precious and his most valuable thing in life but he won’t go full bonkers on valentines day or something like that.

F = Fear (What do they do if their s/o is scared? How do they handle it?) Johnny handles it very well. He is very educated and cautious about mental health in general so he would take every fear seriously. If his s/o is anxious about anything he will do his best to make a situation more comfortable for them or try to avoid the situation as a whole. G = Gifts (What type of gifts do they give their s/o? Do they want a gift in return?) Accessories. Johnny strikes me as a men who gets his s/o small things likes designer bracelets or card holders. Things they wouldn’t buy themselves because it’s unnecessary and expensive but if he knows they will accept and like it and most importantly use it - he will get it to them. And if they say they can’t accept he would say something like “It’s alright, don’t worry. I got a discount on it because I worked with them earlier this year.” Even if it’s a lie.

H = Hugs (Do they hug their s/o? How often?) Johnny is tall and he has long arms. Perfect to wrap around someone and should them from cold wind at a busstop or pull them in after a long walk in the rain. He knows how much his s/o craves those hugs and how protected they are feeling when he holds them tightly.

I = Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?) Has this man issues with intimacy? No?? Have you seen him??? I would be just as confident if I was him. J = Jealous (Do they get jealous? How do they act when jealous?) Jealous boyfriend right here. Johnny might act chill about his s/o hanging out with other men on days he is also available or seeing them walk out of lecture together on a day he wanted to surprise them by picking them up. He won’t let it show because it would hurt his reputation as LBBY (Laid Back Boyfriend of the Year) but his s/o will notice. Maybe by how short his answers are or because of all the questions he asks about that friend. Or maybe by the way he kisses them later that night. Maybe he also dislikes this side about himself because he knows he can trust them. K = Kiss (Are they a good kisser? Do they like to kiss? How often do they try to kiss you?) Johnny’s kisses are to melt for. Just the perfect mix of soft pecks and slightly rough ... idk how to describe it. He would randomly bite his s/o’s lips to catch them off guard and if they blush he will laugh about it and pull them into a long lingering and smily kiss ...

L = Love (When do they say they love you? How often do they say it? Do they prefer to say or show it?) Constantly. He will say it. He will text it. He will moan it. He will ask you “You love me right?” There won’t be a day his s/o won’t hear or read it or both.

M = Marriage (Do they want to get married? If so, what kind of ceremony?) In a committed relationship Johnny would think about marriage 100% but he doesn’t have to get married right away. Maybe ever. He strikes me as the kind of guy who is happy just being with his s/o. Maybe he will think different if they’re ever thinking about having a kid. But in that case time will tell.

N = Night out (What type of dates do they like to go on? How often do they like to go on them?) Goofy dates! Game nights! Haunted houses where his s/o clings on to him! Arcades and hours of dance dance revolution! O = Out of the Ordinary (What’s something they don’t normally do with/for their s/o?) I don’t think he would go to fancy restaurants. Not even for an anniversary. It’s just not his thing and this casual red wine at the river or beach is more his thing than make dinner reservations and letting waiters tell him what wine he’s having. I am not saying that he doesn’t do it at all - maybe he enjoys it on some occasions (when he has to impress parents for example) but overall with his s/o ... I think a chill open air wine tasting might rather be his thing. P =Playful (Are they playful in a relationship? If so, how do they play around/mess with their s/o?) He messes around all the time. He will make himself a bra out of lather when he’s in the shower try to seduce his s/o, he will mock the radio moderator and make up an semi-interesting newsflash about their breakfast. Q = Questions (Do they ask their s/o their opinion on things? Do they share theirs?) Loves to ask their s/o for their opinion so he does it a lot. Sometimes he even changes his decision if his s/o has some really good points or perhaps even better ideas. R = Random (How spontaneous is their relationship? Do they do things on the spot or plan ahead?) This man is so goofy how is he not random. He will wake his s/o up in the middle of the night just to go see the stars. He would make last minute dinner reservations and trick them into a dinner date by asking them if they come pick him up. He is so random and I love it. Though it would drive me insane. S = Sleep (How do they sleep with their s/o?) A lot of cuddles and soft temple kisses during the early state of the night or the going-to-bed/settling in but once everyone is comfy and tired they slew butt to butt. He jokes about that constantly. T = Trust (How much do they trust their s/o?) He lives off and thrives on trust. A relationship in which he wouldn’t fully trust his s/o is no relationship to him.

U = Unique (What makes them unique as a s/o?) Johnny radiates positive vibes, which makes him insanely attractive. He is so comfortable with himself and empowering towards literally everyone it’s as if you would have your very own personal cheerleader. With him on their side his s/o could literally accomplish everything. V = Vulnerable (How long until they can be vulnerable around their s/o? What are they like in this state?) He is pretty open about his feelings and concerns so I don’t think it would take a long time for him to talk to theyr s/o about everything. He shares his worries with a lot of friends/close friends but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s less significant when he tells his s/o. He might talk to a lot of people about things but he might only take advice from a few. W = Weather (What would he do during a cloudy and rainy day?) Coffee and galleries. A day with rolling thunder or just light annoying rain for him is the most welcome excuse to take his s/o for a classy museum tour. It doesn’t matter if it’s modern art or some good old fashioned photography. He would love to spend hours there and not missing out of anything in the outside world. X = Xylophon (What does he think about their s/o’s taste in music? Is it different?) If you they like the same music as he does - he would love it. But honestly he is such an open-minded man we would listen to anything at least once and even though he doesn’t like it would say something like ‘It’s interesting.’ On a car ride or something they would agree on something they both enjoy or put on a shared playlist and he would peacefully endure the songs he doesn’t like or enjoying them just as much because they make his s/o visibly happy. Y = Yuck (Is there anything that might bother their s/o about him? Any flaws?) So... we all know how much he enjoys coffee. Sometimes maybe a little too much. And we also hopefully all know the rules of basic hygiene and how you shouldn’t overdo it. What I am trying to say it that boy has coffee breath. He has so much coffee during the day that he can’t possibly brush his teeth every time. Not saying that he is dirty or anything. Just ... take a hint - pop a mint.

Z = Zeal (Are they passionate as a s/o? Do they want or like passion?) This man breathes passion. I honestly don’t think he could be with someone less passionate than him. More reserved? Yes. Someone who doesn’t take the lead? Yes. But someone lacking in passion is a no-no. I’m not even talking solemnly about passion in a sexual way. It also applies to interests or hobbies. Being passionate about a certain topic or sport, music, politics, ... you name it. He is the utmost passion able person and we all know it. Period.

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