#on ch 9 for now so nothing happened yet lol

[rayroseu-reblogs]

THE FACE CARD IS INSANE

[penkura]

last forever [11/13]

Summary: Zoro only offered to marry you to keep you out of an arranged marriage with a man much older than you. You agreed with the caveat of ending it via annulment once you received word from your parents regarding the original engagement, despite your growing feelings for your close friend.

Pairing: Zoro x Fem!reader, mentioned Sanami later (like epilogue later so chill)

Warnings: Marriage of Convenience, Fake Marriage, Creepy Older Dude, Mentioned Past Attempted Assault, Heavily Implied/Referenced Sex later on (NOTHING EXPLICIT)

Note: This is the one with the mentions of attempted assault in the past and reference to present relations. Again, SFW, nothing explicit, and this chapter is completely different from how I originally thought it would go. This is where I lost myself a bit and just said "screw following the manga/anime" lol. Next chapter is my original ending of the story but I split it into two chapters and chapter thirteen will have a tiny epilogue.

Taglist:

@misfits1a | @alucardsdaddyissues | @louweasleymalfoy | @fluffybunnyu | @yerrimm09 | @eyes-ofhell | @emmaiscool22 | @xenop0p | @hank88999

[Ch. 1] ● [Ch. 2] ● [Ch. 3] ● [Ch. 4] ● [Ch. 5] ● [Ch. 6] ● [Ch. 7] ● [Ch. 8] ● [Ch. 9] ● [Ch. 10]

Wano is a beautiful place with desolate areas you realize, as you walk through the city trying to find a job. Kin'emon has already worked with you all to prepare your roles and provided you clothes that let you blend in, yours matching what most of the local housewives wear on a daily basis.

You've agreed to let him, and those of Wano, see you as a newly married couple with Zoro, even as he takes the role of ronin and seems less than enthusiastic about it. Faking a marriage twice over was truly an annoyance, he was beyond done with this part of his life. You hope it's not a sign of things to come with him, but right now, your focus is on finding a job, even something at a teahouse is enough. Anything that lets you blend in the best you can.

You find a small teahouse in the Flower Capitol, the owner agreeing to hire you once you had told him you were newly married and attempting to find a job temporarily to get you both on your feet since your husband was a ronin. Everything is well, you’re happy about what you’ve found and your role in helping to recruit Samurai to the raid, until you hear a voice you’ve not heard in years, making you freeze on the spot.

He's here. Why is he here?!

You’re quick to hide behind a building, barely peeking to look and see that it is in fact the man your parents had chosen for you to marry.

A man now in his mid-thirties, Hibine Kanzaki is out with who you guess to be a servant of his, and you can hear him bragging about a newborn daughter in his house. The guy always creeps you out, hearing his voice and the fake sweetness in it makes you want to bury yourself in a hole and hide. It’s the same voice he used when he'd come to see you, trying to win you over despite Elias’ glaring and you knowing he didn’t mean a word of it.

The second he seems to look where you’re hiding you back yourself up further behind the building, taking several deep breaths and praying he leaves, praying he didn’t see your face.

Once his voice fades away, you double check to make sure he’s gone, before you leave your hiding spot and hurry back to your temporary home while you’re here in Wano. Your biggest concern right now is getting to safety and staying with Zoro again.

Zoro will keep me safe, he won’t let anything happen to me…

+!+

“I-is Zoro back?”

Law doesn't miss how you're shaking like a leaf, watching you wring your hands while he shakes his head.

“No, not yet. What happened?”

“N-nothing, don’t worry about it, I just…” You take a deep breath, turning to leave again and go find Zoro, “I need Zoro right now.”

“Hey, wait,” Law’s up on his feet and grabbing Kikoku before you get too far, “You're in no state to be left alone, I'll go with you to find him. I need to see if my crew have found jobs or anything yet anyway.”

Nodding, you thank Law for joining you as the two of you return to town, you constantly looking around for Zoro, which makes Law watch you closely. No, he doesn't know your situationship with Zoro, but he's curious about what has got you so badly worked up. He almost offers you to hold his hand if you need, mostly so you stop wringing yours or balling up your kimono sleeves to the point they’re wrinkled. Law is highly tempted to ask what’s wrong as you re-enter the shopping district of the Flower Capitol, until he hears Shachi call for him.

“Stay here, I’ll be right back.”

“Mm. Take your time, Traffy.”

Staying to the side, you keep watch to make sure you’re safe, hoping to see your green haired husband around somewhere, before someone places a hand on your shoulder and you look, your feeling of safety fleeing immediately.

“It really is you! My dear fiancée, I’ve wanted to see you for so long!”

You don’t have the chance to move away before he grabs your wrist and your voice catches in your throat, before you’re able to shake it off just enough to quietly respond.

“I’m not your fiancée…I have a husband.”

Shaking his head, Hibine steps closer and it makes you back up, your attempted glare coming off as more fearful than anything, which causes him to grin at you.

He never really loved you, you’ve known that from that start. Elias could see it when your parents couldn’t.

“Oh my dear, our engagement is still very much alive…your lovely parents have been looking for you, trying to help me find you so we can finalize our marriage. Your mother especially is anxious for us to marry and have a child already~”

“Elias has a child. I’m not rea—”

His grip on your wrist tightens and it makes you start to panic, it’s just like the last time.

Just like last time…stop touching me.

Hibine takes one step towards you and you take two steps back, while he continues to grin, one hand gripping your wrist like you’ve done something wrong.

“My cute little fiancée,” his voice makes your hair stand on end and you cringe visibly, “Let’s go home together, we’ll call your parents and tell them you've left that brute of a pirate.”

“You…” you gulp, taking another step back which he copies, and you hate how weak and pathetic you feel at the moment, this man makes you sick to your stomach, “You’re hurting me…”

You’re not Zoro.

This man disgusts you, he’s possibly the worst person you’ve ever met, you’ve felt that for the last five years since you first met him. How your parents could have chosen him, thought someone in his thirties when you were barely fifteen was a good idea, you’ve never understood their thought. Even after begging them to reconsider, you were terrified until Elias got you out of your home, away from them, away from this man who saw you as simple property. You want to grab your sword, putting your hand on its hilt and ready to do so if he makes a wrong move. He always made wrong moves around you, around Elias, even after the multiple times your brother had pulled this sword himself and told this scum to not touch you, Hibine still tried every time.

By contrast, you know Zoro would never touch you without your permission, unless absolutely needed. When he’d first taught you some sword techniques you didn’t know, he always made sure you were okay with him holding your wrists to show you the proper position for your hands, making you wonder if he noticed how you flinched the first time.

You really wish he was here right now.

I want Zoro, I need my husband.

You terribly want to throw up, but you keep stepping backwards, eyes locked onto Hibine with your hand on your sword as you wonder where the hell Law and his crew were, had they not noticed your predicament yet?

Back away, keep backing away…let me go, you’re not him.

Eventually you hear Law shout your name, he can see the fear in your eyes when you catch his, he’s about to rush over to you, but you back into a hard chest before anything else happens, an arm coming around your shoulders and it makes Hibine stop too, releasing your wrist.

“There you are,” relief washes over you instantly when you recognize Zoro’s voice, looking up at him as you finally breathe again, “Been looking for you. Where have you been, wife?”

“Z-Zoro…” you shake your head and his brow furrows before he looks at Hibine, who is nearly snarling at the two of you now. “That’s…my parents…it’s him, I…”

You turn yourself to face him better and he holds you a bit closer before looking back to Hibine.

“Sorry if my wife caused any problems, I've been looking for her all afternoon,” trying to play his part, Zoro notices you rubbing your wrist, setting a slight glare on Hibine and his other hand on his swords, maybe showing them off would scare away the creep, “She doesn’t like to be touched by strangers, she’d appreciate it if you didn’t–”

“The hell is this? You’re the brute she married over me?!”

“Yeah, got a problem?”

“This is ridiculous,” Hibine growls, attempting to grab you again, “I paid to marry this wench, she should be my bride!”

The shriek that leaves your mouth when Hibine grabs your wrist and tries to pull you from Zoro makes your swordsman husband glare even worse than he was already. He knocks Hibine’s hand off you, turning you more towards him, as he pulls one of his swords and has it at the older man’s neck in an instant.

“Guess I didn’t make myself clear,” Zoro gives a glance to you, you’re nearly hyperventilating while you grip his kimono top and he looks back at Hibine, ignoring Law yelling at him to not screw anything up, you’re more important at the moment, “Keep your filthy hands off my wife or I’ll make sure you can’t touch anyone again.”

A group of people had stopped to stare at what was happening, Hibine yelling about being threatened while Law starts yelling at Zoro that he’s going to ruin everything.

“Traffy, take [Y/N] back for me.”

“And what are you going to do?!”

“Nothing, don’t worry.”

Law wants to argue, until Zoro moves you to him and he can see how shaken up, how terrified you seem to be. You’re covering your ears and your breathing is getting faster, you need to be somewhere else now before you have a full on panic attack. Nodding at Zoro, Law Shambles you both back to your temporary residence, allowing your swordsman a moment to sigh before he looks back to Hibine with a glare again.

“Now you listen. Here’s what you’re going to do for upsetting my wife.”

~~

Once you and Law are back where you were staying, you almost instantly collapse to the ground hyperventilating and dry heaving. Law knew what to expect, he quickly pinned your hair back and gave you a bucket before he ran off to get you water while you vomited everything from your lunch earlier. Too many memories, all of them bad, had come back when you saw Hibine, when he touched you, tried to act sickly sweet while having that awful look in his eyes, trying to keep up his image. You really hadn’t meant to keep it a secret he was from Wano, that he’d intended to take you all the way here once your marriage was finalized. There was never a good tike to bring it up to Zoro. Thank God for your brother, for the Straw Hats, for Zoro saving you from such a life though.

When Law returns with water, you’ve gone from getting sick to crying over how ridiculous you feel. There’s no reason for this, you’re strong. You know you are, everyone knows, they’ve seen it. Law tries to calm you down, telling you that you’re fine now, you’re safe, your crewmates will be back any moment.

You are grateful for Law’s help, even as you finally calm down and apologize, he tells you there’s no need, while you start to explain what happened and who Hibine is. The look on his face goes from curious to concerned as you continue, and you do admit your current marriage to Zoro, which surprises him greatly. He never guessed you two were married, he figured dating or maybe even hooking up. Not a full on marriage, even though you also admit you two have started dating, it was still temporary unless Zoro said otherwise.

Once you’ve finished explaining everything, you feel like you’re about to pass out and Law finds that you have a fever, you need to be laying down. He's brought a damp wash cloth for your forehead once he helps you to your room, ensuring as little light as possible can get in before he leaves you to rest, and it's not long before you’re fast asleep.

Not even a few minutes later Zoro returns, and Law confronts him about everything.

“You didn’t think that mentioning you and [Y/N]-ya are actually married before coming here was important?! Especially when her fiancé is from here!”

“He’s not her fiancé,” Zoro grits his teeth at the thought of Hibine being anything special to you, the man was a coward who used money to get he wanted, he deserved more than just a scare, “And I didn’t know he was from here. She never told me that. The marriage isn’t something we broadcast to people.”

Law sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tries to calm his own pounding head.

“At least it’s dealt with. I trust you didn’t take things too far?”

“Just scared him, that’s all. Where’s [Y/N]?”

“Her room, resting. She has a fever. Does she get those easily?”

Nodding, Zoro doesn’t say anything else and enters your room, you’re sitting up with your head in your hands, he swears he can hear you crying to yourself. He's used to this, but knowing the reasons why nearly breaks his heart for once.

Seeing how utterly terrified of Hibine you were, it worried him more than he’d ever admit even to you. He wonders what else you may have gone through that you never told him, if that man took things too far or what. He'll have to ask you later, but for the moment, he’s glad you’re okay. You’d barely slept on the trip to Wano, not being used to a submarine but also getting to know the Heart Pirates, Zoro can only recall one night you went to bed at a decent time and that was when you’d had a little more to drink than normal and found yourself in his bed, latched onto his left arm and kissing his shoulder before falling into a dead sleep.

He'll probably never tell you how much he’d like that to happen again.

“Hey.”

“Hey…”

“You okay?”

You shake your head while Zoro comes over and sits beside you, setting his hand on your forehead to see how your fever was, and luckily you don’t flinch or stop him. He’s relieved that seeing that man didn’t cause you to suddenly fear him too. Not like he’d ever do anything to hurt you anyway.

“I haven’t seen you so skittish since we met…did you know he’d be in the flower capitol?”

“No, I…I thought he lived elsewhere…”

The way you start to grab at your hair, though he doesn’t show it, starts to worry Zoro, and he knows he has to ask what he’s started dreading since he saw the look on your face when he ran into you earlier. It’s going to dredge up some bad memories most likely, but he’s not going to force you if you don’t want to respond.

“Can I ask you something?” when you nod, Zoro takes a breath before asking, “Did he touch you back then? When you still lived with your parents?”

You stay quiet for a moment, sighing as you finally bring you hands down from your hair with a small nod.

“Once,” you bite your lip hard, you can taste blood, and Zoro nearly tells you not to worry about explaining it when he sees you start to look distressed, “He’d come to see me, and Elias had stepped out of the room for something. Next thing I knew, I was on the floor and…Hibine was over me. I was sixteen, I didn’t know what to do. He had my wrists in his hands and was saying something I can’t remember, I blocked it out I think. He ended up bruising my wrists from holding them so tightly, but Elias stopped him from doing anything else. He came back and saw the position we were in, started yelling at him to get off me and had pulled his—my sword and threatened Hibine.”

“Makes two of us that have now.”

You smile a bit with a slight laugh and nod, finally looking over at Zoro. “My dad wanted to call off the marriage after hearing what happened, but my mom wouldn’t let him. Elias never left me alone with him again, up until he helped me run away.”

“That does explain the first time I taught you a sword technique. When I’d held your wrist and you flinched.”

“Oh yeah, you did notice that? Sorry.”

Zoro shakes his head, finally moving to join you in your bed, something you gladly accept, you trust him with every part of you. He lets you lead as you wrap your arms around him and lay back down, doing the same once you’re settled and comfortable, placing a soft kiss to your forehead.

“Don’t worry about him, wife. He ain’t gonna mess with you again. I made sure of that.”

Smiling, you nod and snuggle closer to Zoro, closing your eyes again before thanking him and falling back asleep. For once, Zoro doesn’t immediately fall asleep, instead staying awake for a bit to make sure you’re comfortable, while thinking about the brief summary you’d given him of that meeting with Hibine when you were still so young. He's glad you don’t remember what was said, it was likely the most unsavory things, he’ll never make you relive such things. Never put you through that himself.

If I’d been there I’d have cut his hands off. I’d have married you sooner, to keep him away from you. Your parents would’ve hated it, they’d have gotten no money from me…but you would’ve been safe sooner.

Zoro does eventually fall asleep, still keeping you close as you finally get much needed rest. Once dinner is ready he only leaves long enough to get you both something to eat, just letting Usopp, Franky, and Robin know you’re doing all right after telling them what had happened earlier. He doesn’t leave you alone very much that evening, apart from when Robin takes you to the bathhouse once your fever breaks.

You’re more relaxed when you make it back, but continue to lean against Zoro while Kin’emon and Law go into more details about the plan for the raid on Onigashima soon. He wraps an arm around your shoulders and pulls you a little closer, silently telling you to rest, you deserve it after the day you had, he or Robin will fill you in on anything you miss if you fall asleep. Once you do, and everyone else begins to turn in for the night later, Zoro is very careful to pick you up and take you back to your room, making sure you stay asleep as he gets you comfortable in bed. Part of him wants to stay with you, to be there if any nightmares of your time at home come up, but he’s not sure if you’ll be happy with that tonight

Instead, just like earlier, he kisses your forehead softly before leaving, letting you have some peace and quiet to sleep.

I’ll be damned if I ever let anyone hurt her again.

+!+

When Luffy and the rest of your crewmates make it to Wano finally, Sanji is the first one to hug you, not giving you a second to breathe which makes you laugh at him. You’re beyond happy to see he’s back, he's still himself, and it makes you return his hug just as tightly, while he tells you he fully understands your feelings about arranged marriages now. Awful things they are to him and to you.

You decide not to tell him or Nami, anyone really, about your run in with your now ex-fiancé for now. You will later, when it’s just you with them, for now you just tell Nami that you don’t have to worry about that man anymore, just about your parents reaction.

Zoro had scared Hibine enough that the older man decided you weren’t worth the trouble anymore, he rescinded the engagement and would inform your parents of it once he returned home. Whether he said anything more or not, Zoro never tells you, just that if the guy is a man of his word you should probably expect a letter from your parents soon about it.

Nami is relieved, pulling you into yet another hug and telling you so, expecting more details later on when you can tell her what you know.

For now, you all fall into your roles within Wano, you doing your job at the tea shop with your crewmates and even some of the Heart Pirates coming to visit when they can. Sanji comes in a few times to fawn over you in your kimono, he really thinks the floral pattern suits you which just makes you smile and thank him.

The next time Law comes in with Ikkaku, the manager has you take their order, and it gives you a chance to talk to them as you take your break at the same time.

“I was able to hand off a few of Kin’emon’s secret messages to more people today.”

“That’s good,” Law nods, watching Ikkaku as she gets up to leave with a slight smirk and he rolls his eyes at her, “The more the better, we’re going to need all we can find.”

You agree while you take the seat Ikkaku left, glad to be off your feet with someone you trust around. You still worry that Hibine is going to show up, but hope Zoro did more than enough to keep him from you.

“So, you and Rorona-ya then?”

“What do you—”

“You’re together, right?”

Taking a sharp breath, you let out a quiet ‘oh’ before nodding in return. Law doesn’t miss how bashful you seem to become, a small smile on your face while you briefly explain the whole thing to him. You trust he won’t use it against you, Law doesn’t seem like the type to do that, for whatever reason.

When you finish your story, as the tea shop owner calls for you, Law just nods.

“He saved you then, and you just fell in love with him over time.”

Your smile grows a bit as you nod, trying to keep your composure so your boss doesn’t think you’re flirting or anything.

“Exactly. I owe Zoro so much for saving me.”

There’s nothing really behind his questioning and listening to your story, Law’s curiosity got the better of him since he’s known the last couple days of your marriage to Zoro.

At least it sounds like you’re happy, whatever may come next.

+!+

Sanji does his best to keep you from hearing Brook tell him about where he’d found Zoro before Tonoyasu’s execution, how he’d been found simply sleeping with Hiyori and Toko by him, though the way it’s said makes it sound more scandalous than it actually was. Of course it’s nearly impossible for you not to hear it once Nami does, doing her duty as your friend to let you know, and while you’re shocked, you’re not sure if you believe it was anything salacious or not. She and Sanji offer to keep Zoro away from you once everyone is together again, but you reject that idea with a smile, saying everything is fine because you do believe that at least.

Zoro isn’t surprised you’ve heard about it, he just rolls his eye at Sanji who is convinced you’re secretly upset about it and your boyfriend/husband needs to apologize for something he had no control over. It’s not like anything actually happened, it was just like the times you’ve napped together, just nothing romantic involved.

So if you were upset, you’d have told him, he knows you would.

Sanji doesn’t understand it though, grumbling about it when you help him with making dinner one night that Luffy wants to have a feast with the Heart Pirates, Kid, Killer, and the Samurai, a few days before the raid on Onigashima is to start.

“That mosshead is so lucky to have you, I can’t believe him.”

“It wasn’t really his fault, Sanji. He already explained it.”

“Still though, it’s not fair to you…”

You shrug a bit, just giving Sanji a smile while you keep prepping the vegetables he gave you to work on.

“You give him too much credit.”

“And you are quick to think the worst of him, Sanji,” your friend makes a sound like he’s offended, which causes you to laugh, “I trust  and love Zoro, I know he wouldn’t do anything to hurt me.”

“…but does he love you back?”

Stopping your work, you shrug a bit, Sanji sighing slightly. With everything going on, you haven’t had much time alone with Zoro, not since you first got to Wano anyway. Every time you try to have any time alone, it gets interrupted by something or someone, there’s so much constantly going on, you’re running out of time before the festival and raid, it’s unlikely you’ll have any chance at any time together until after the raid is over.

So long as everything goes well.

Sanji throws an arm around your shoulders, hugging you when you lean into him.

“If that mosshead does anything to upset you, I’ll kick his ass for you.”

You laugh at the offer, shaking your head when you hear Luffy call for the two of you to hurry up because he was just starving to death out there.

“Yeah, I’ll let you know, Sanji.”

But hopefully that doesn’t happen.

~~

There’s finally time for you to spend with Zoro later that evening, once you and Sanji finish preparing everything and the feast Luffy's been waiting for all day gets going. There’s plenty of food to keep everyone fed, you and Sanji out of the kitchen for the rest of the night for once, and while you choose to abstain from drinking that night, you’re happy to bring some to Zoro, who gladly takes it before pulling you into his lap and keeping you close. Now that you have the chance to relax together, even with everyone else around, with all the stuff about Hiyori and the raid and what may happen afterwards being forgotten for now, a few moments of peace are greatly welcomed by everyone.

“You good?”

Nodding, you lean back against Zoro’s chest while he keeps his arm around your waist, silently telling you to stay there with him.

“I’m doing great, Zoro.”

Nami watches you two from the side, eventually tapping Sanji on the shoulder, nodding her head towards you when she sees you both get up and leave, almost sneaking off. No one else seems to notice, but Sanji hums a bit when he sees where she’s directing his sight.

“You think they’re turning in for the night?”

“Who knows,” Shrugging, Sanji goes to put his arm around her shoulders before Nami grabs his hand and moves it away from her, giving him a ‘not here’ look, “Maybe they just need a quiet place to talk about, you know, Hiyori and that stuff.”

“Hmm, maybe…”

Nami knows she’ll hear everything from you later on, you don’t keep things from her or Robin anymore, you’ve learned not to do that now.

She just hopes whatever goes on, it’s nothing you or Zoro come to regret.

+!+

“If you break her heart, I’ll never forgive you, mosshead.”

Zoro only wakes the next morning when you start to shift around, turning away from him in your sleep, relaxing again as you make yourself comfortable. He just watches you for a bit, wondering how last night got to this point. You and him in your room, consummating your two and a half year long marriage unexpectedly. Not a drop of alcohol in your system, a normal amount in Zoro’s of course, but, how on earth did it end up with the two of you in your bed?  

“What would you like from me? You’ve given me more than I could ever ask for.”

“I want tonight, just you and me, if you’re comfortable with that.”

“Yes,” you nod, Zoro pulls you closer, one arm around your waist as his other hand is in your hair, and you wrap your arms around his shoulders while he brings your face closer to his, “I can happily give you that, Zoro.”

Oh right that’s how. You and Zoro had slipped away from everyone else after dinner, while Luffy tried to get the party going even more and Kid started to egg him on, it became too loud for the both of you. He’s not entirely sure how things escalated from you two talking about the raid to making out, you asking him what he wants in return for all he’s given you over the last couple years, he’d first told you that he didn’t need or want anything, but he could see you wanted something, you were just too shy to ask for it. Once Zoro told you what he wanted (he did want this, it wasn’t just for you) and you gladly agreed to it, he checked on you the whole night, to make sure you were comfortable, that he wasn’t hurting you, and that you felt safe, but you always feel safe with him, telling him so between kisses and ‘I love you’s with your hands holding his face.

You love him, and it’s still something new to him. Even last night, it was all new to both of you, two and a half years later than it normally would’ve been, but your relationship isn’t normal. You may not have come together by conventional means, not even being in love at the start, but things had changed and you’d waited for him to work things out with himself. He’s still trying to figure things out, how to voice his thoughts to you, but where you two are now feels nice to him. Whether you consider it dating or actually having a marriage, he doesn’t care anymore. So long as you stay near him and let him continue to protect you, for as long as you need him.

Zoro’s about to pull you back to him and sleep again when someone knocks on the door,  making him roll his eye before he kisses the back of your head which wakes you.

“Mm, Zoro?” You rub yours eyes a bit, sitting up to look at him once he’s out of your bed, worried he’s going to sneak off so no one catches him or because he regrets the night before, “Is it morning?”

“Someone’s at the door, I’ll be right back. Go back to sleep,” he smiles just a bit seeing you look slightly disappointed, like you don’t believe him, so he kisses your forehead gently before quietly promising, “I’m not leaving you alone, wife.”

“Okay…”

Zoro is quick to dress and makes sure you’re comfortable once you lay back down, covering you with his haori to reiterate his promise to come back, which you pull around you more as you attempt to fall back to sleep. He watches you for a moment, waiting until your breathing evens out and you’re almost asleep again before he goes to answer the door. Once he opens the door to your room, Zoro sighs and immediately wishes he’d ignored the knocking and went back to sleep with.

“Of course it’s you.”

“I’m not happy to see your face this early either,” Sanji scowls with his cigarette in his mouth, unhappy to know you and Zoro never came back to everyone the night before, and he had an idea as to why which was confirmed seeing the swordsman in your room still, “You better not have done anything to hurt her, mosshead.”

“Why the hell are you here this early?”

“Kin’emon wants to talk about the raid, I’m just rounding up people who are missing. He wants to talk during breakfast so it’ll be a little while still.”

“Got it. We’ll be there soon.”

Sanji stops Zoro from closing the door with his foot, the two shooting glares at each other before Sanji quietly speaks again.

“I’m serious, asshole. That’s my best friend you’re married to and had sex with. She loves you. Don’t break her heart.”

“I won’t, and I heard you the first twenty times.”

After Sanji leaves, you surprise Zoro by coming up behind him and hugging him, making him look back at you while you smile up at him, now wearing his haori.

“I thought I told you to go back to sleep.”

“I heard Sanji say Kin’emon wanted to talk about things, so I decided to get up.”

“Makes sense.”

Neither of you say anything for a bit, though Zoro does turn around to take your face in his hands while you keep looking up at him. He still doesn’t get why you give him such loving looks, after everything you’ve been through on your own and then with him. With him, he feels like he’s treated you so badly at times, all because he didn’t want anything to do with romance at the start. But you didn’t give up on him, not on your marriage despite the way it came about, despite his initial rejection of your feelings, your fight about Robin, your first kiss in Water Seven, you worrying about him after Kuma showing up at Thriller Bark. Then when you reunited and he was willing to try a relationship with you, though neither of you knew what to call it, you never gave up on him.

And then last night, it keeps replaying in his head. He wonders if it’s the same for you, though the slightest blush you have tells him that it is. There’s nothing but happiness and love in your eyes too.

Why did you choose to love me? You deserve much better.

Zoro wonders if you’d tell him an actual reason, or something cheesy. Something about the heart wanting that it wants, he thinks, is what Sanji’s said before while swooning over some girl, or that you don’t want better, you just want him. He probably wouldn’t mind hearing that from you, only because it’s you, he’d reason.

After a few more minutes of silence and just enjoying each other’s presence, Zoro finally leans down and kisses you, making you hum a bit and smile more.

“Good morning, husband.”

“Mornin’, wife.”

You giggle a bit at his response which makes Zoro smirk as he picks you up in a princess carry, allowing you to wrap your arms around his shoulders, taking you back and dropping you on your bed, laying down with and trapping you against him. Everyone can wait a little while longer as the two of you sleep in a bit more, he thinks. Zoro tries to fall back asleep but you place small kisses all over his face, preventing him from doing so, since you know it’ll be difficult to wake him in time to see what Kin’emon wants from you all. If this is how his mornings could be, even with your touchy feely affection, Zoro thinks he doesn’t mind staying married to you.

In fact, he’s starting to think he can get used to this.

“I love you, Zoro~”

Zoro simply nods at you, pressing another soft kiss to your forehead. “I know. Thank you.”

I’ll tell you soon, I promise.

+!+

The bandage on your forehead itches and you’re fighting not to pull the same stunt as your husband would with ripping it off. Chopper would scold you, and right now, it’s one of the last things you need. With the fight against Kaido and his Beast Pirates over, Luffy and Zoro unconscious in the room you’re heading to, your prayers are going towards both of them waking soon. You want to leave Wano with them both, but also fear what may come next for you and Zoro as a couple or if he’ll put an end to your marriage once you leave this place. You try not to think about it, instead opening the door to the room where Chopper is checking Luffy and you go to Zoro, your doctor giving you a smile.

“They should both wake up soon! I think…”

Returning his smile, you nod a bit at Chopper.

“Thanks, doctor. I don’t know where we’d be without you, Chopper.”

While Chopper tries to pretend your words aren’t flattering him, you seat yourself beside Zoro, like you have the last couple days, quietly taking his hand and feeling grateful no one else is really around at the moment. Most of your new friends and allies still don’t know your real relationship, you’d like to keep it that way until you all leave, but who knows how that might go now. People are constantly in and out of this room lately, everyone it seems is taking turns to see if Luffy mostly is awake, your crewmates focusing on both your captain and swordsman.

For you, although you do want Luffy to wake quickly too, your main focus is on Zoro, ensuring he’s still alive after all the damage he'd taken. You’d gotten a basic rundown from Sanji, even hearing how Zoro had beaten King, which was right before you saw how badly he’d been hurt, how near death he was this time.

You think it must be worse than Thriller Bark.

Right now, all your hope is on his waking up. Being able to check on him, hold his hand, make sure he’s still breathing, it gives you some small semblance of peace, especially with Chopper’s comment that they should both wake soon.

When you’re sure it’s just you and them, or your other crewmates are around, you’re able to make yourself press your forehead into his chest, listening closely for his heart beat, and feeling nothing but relief each time you hear it. The few times you swear he squeezes your hand back, despite still being knocked out, give you hope they’ll be up sooner rather, that you and Zoro can finally work out what your relationship is and will be.

Truly you just hope he doesn’t break your heart.

“Please. Wake up soon, okay? I love you.”

You quickly place a kiss on his forehead, as he’s done to you multiple times lately, before contenting yourself to simply stay beside Zoro and hold onto his hand, silent prayers that he wakes up soon. After a little while, you get surprised by someone setting a hand on your shoulder, looking up to see Sanji giving you a smile.

“Why don’t you come with me, [Y/N]? I’ll make you something to eat~”

You return the smile and let Sanji help you up, him putting an arm around your shoulders as he walks you to the kitchen of where you’re being allowed to stay for now. He starts telling you everything he’s planning to make for when Luffy and Zoro wake up, before you two are stopped by a few of the younger samurai.

One of them, around your age, tries hitting on you and asking you out, but before you can even deny the invitation, Sanji steps up with a grin.

“Hey now! Don’t you know this lovely girl is our stupid swordsman’s wife? I don’t think he’ll take too kindly to you hitting on her!”

The samurai looks from Sanji to you, as you slap his arm and nearly hiss out his name.

“Is…is that…true?’

Smiling a bit, you simply say, “Zoro and I are just very close, that’s all. I am flattered, but I’m not looking to date anyone.”

It's not a full lie, you don’t know where you and Zoro stand at the moment anyway, and you aren’t looking to start dating someone from Wano anyway. Hibine be damned, you just aren’t interested in anyone here, Zoro is the only one for you, you believe.

The samurai takes your rejection well, saying he hopes you two are happy whatever happens, before Sanji starts to turn you back down the hall he was leading you.

“Stop telling people about me and Zoro!”

“Come on, you weren’t going to go out with that guy anyway.”

“You know what I mean though.”

“Do I?” Sanji shrugs, glancing over his shoulder in time for the door to the room you’d left to close, and he sighs, squeezing your shoulder lightly.

You don’t tell him that you saw Hiyori around the corner too.

+!+

“Do you think he likes her?”

For a second Sanji thinks you're kidding. You're in the middle of stitching up one of Zoro's shirts before moving to your own, while Sanji starts to work on something for you to eat, he raises an eyebrow and just looks at you. How lucky were you to make it out of that battle against the Beast Pirates nearly unscathed. The cut on your forehead and some other minor ones here and there, but you’re fine, nothing like what your husband and captain have had to deal with. Not even close to what Sanji's been recovering from, and he's already back up and ready to cook for everyone.

“You're kidding, right?”

When you shake your head, Sanji furrows his brow and sighs, taking a drag from his cigarette and moving to sit beside you at the table. He puts a hand on top of yours to stop your work and make you look at him, he's giving you the soft smile you've come to appreciate from him.

“That mosshead loves you, not Hiyori.”

“Sanji–”

“No, listen to me for a minute,” he tightens his grip on your hand for a second, before continuing, “I know Zoro better than I like to admit, and he has no romantic feelings for Hiyori, I can see that. The way he looks at you, though, there's always been something there.”

“What do you–”

“Every time he has just a bit too much to drink, he watches you. He gets this soft look on his face, like he's thinking about something. I've only ever seen that look on his face when he looks at you. He's been like that ever since I met you guys.”

“That doesn’t mean anything…”

Shrugging, Sanji gets up from his seat beside you again.

“Maybe not, but I don’t think he would’ve slept with you if he didn’t love you back.”

You nearly squeak a response, slapping Sanji’s hand off your shoulder as he laughs, shaking his head and asking how you expected him to not know by now. You’re not very good at hiding things, not from him anyway.

“Just talk to that mosshead after he wakes up. I know you two will be fine, you’re made for each other.”

You really do hope Sanji’s right. The two of you end up working in a comfortable silence that’s only broken by Chopper running into the kitchen, nearly in tears. You almost feel your heart drop as you fear the worst before Sanji speaks up.

“Chopper? What’s wrong?”

“They’re…they’re both…awake!”

[talesofesther]

sweet calamity | ch 9

Wednesday Addams x Reader

Series Summary: It was something people described as the sweetest pain, the feeling of when the soul that’s destined to find yours is closer to you. Wednesday saw it as a curse, promised herself she would hate whoever was chosen for her; but it’s easier said than done.

A/N: Softest Wednesday ever and I hope she's not too out of character lol (but cut her some slack, girl's in love c'mon). Was listening to this while writing. <3

Masterlist | Read ch 8 here

"So here's something interesting that happened last night," Enid started, teasing hinting at her tone.

You gripped a little tighter onto the straps of your backpack.

"I get back from my date with Ajax, and Wednesday greets me with a goodnight, even asking if my date was enjoyable."

You hummed at her words, kicking a pebble from the stone path you were walking on. Last night's snowfall left its mark on the gardens, white snowflakes were still clinging to some of the trees around you; there was frost on the grass; mist in the air. The scenery was worthy of a painting.

"Why is that interesting?" You eventually asked.

"She never asks me about my dates," Enid exclaimed, "like ever." Taking hold of both your arms, the werewolf stopped you in your tracks and came to stand before you, forcing you to look up at her.

"She looked happy. Unusually happy," Enid narrowed her eyes at you, wolfish grin on her lips, "did something happen while I was out?"

Sometimes, Enid was too smart for her own good. You wanted to share her enthusiasm, tell her all about last night — how hearing Wednesday play gave you goosebumps, how her lips left you breathless — yet you found yourself hesitating. Everything felt too fragile.

You chuckled humourlessly, squirming under her hold. You could feel your face heating up, "nothing happened, we just hung out for a while."

Enid audibly groaned as she rolled her eyes, "come on, I saw you two dancing at the Rave'n, didn't you finally admit your obvious love for each other?"

You frowned, lips hovering open as you connected the dots, feeling your stomach lurch with apprehension. You answered her question with another, that you felt you already knew the answer to; "was that your doing by any chance?"

"Of course," Enid told you animatedly, "Wednesday was giving me her usual 'I don't do feelings' speech and hurting both you and herself in the process, I had to talk some sense into her," she scrunched her brows, taking on a serious tone, "don't tell her I said that though."

"Oh," you breathed. You're not sure why it bothers you. To think Wednesday would do something against her will was foolish, at best; but the last thing you wanted was for her to feel like she has to be with you.

"So," Enid dragged the word, pink cheeks molded by her pinkier snood, "no special moments last night?"

"W-well, we-" you stumbled, "I mean, she-"

"Enid!"

You closed your eyes and breathed out a sigh of relief upon hearing Wednesday's voice. She walked up to you and Enid with haste, backpack held by one shoulder, scarf snug around her neck, and her black beanie pushing down her bangs. She looked worthy of a painting too.

"Wednesday," Enid turned to her best friend, bouncing on her heels with glee, "we were just talking about you."

"Thrilling," the Addams girl deadpanned, glancing between you and Enid before settling on the latter, "I'll need my partner back now."

To say Enid lit up like a damn Christmas tree would be an understatement. Your heartbeat skyrocketed at the words too, before you remembered what exactly she was talking about.

Enid emitted some kind of excited noise — undoubtedly already planning your wedding; "your partn-"

"We're partners in fencing," you cut her off before she could create a scene you probably wouldn't be able to escape too soon. After your little incident with Bianca, Wednesday made sure no one but she was partnered up with you in fencing. How she accomplished that, you preferred not to know. And if anyone as much as whispered about her going easy on you when sparring, they'd receive the complete opposite treatment.

"Yes, and class started two minutes ago," Wednesday said, pointedly raising an eyebrow at you and your lack of time management.

You mouthed a sorry to her, offering a soft smile.

"You guys are no fun," Enid mumbled to herself, hugging her sweater closer to her body.

Cold air bit at your fingertips and you stuffed your hands in your pockets. Part of you could sympathize with Enid's frustration, you and Wednesday have been dancing around each other for a while, and then she finally kisses you and… and now you find yourself holding back, afraid to let your guard down.

You're still not sure what to call what she is to you. It's not like you and Wednesday are the epitome of healthy communication.

It's almost like she feels your discomfort, "let's go, I don't like waiting," Wednesday grumbled, half extending her hand out for you, giving you the chance to choose whether to take it or not.

The way you were so quick to reach for her was second nature, softly taking her hand in yours. "See you later, Enid."

"Bye lovebirds," the werewolf sweetly said, starting to walk in the opposite direction, "don't forget what we talked about yesterday, Wednesday."

"How could I? You've hammered the idea into my brain," Wednesday huffed, but Enid was already out of earshot, which left only you to grin at her words.

It was new and fragile, but maybe also just the way it was supposed to be. Maybe it was simpler than your overthinking self made it out to be — you were focused on your feet, trusting Wednesday to lead your way with her hand securely around yours.

The comfortable silence stretched for a few moments, until you reached the end of the gardens and walked inside Nevermore's walls. It felt nice to feel normal for a change; two normal girls too shy and too in love to meet each other's eyes.

"Your hands are frigid," Wednesday broke the silence, absentmindedly brushing her thumb along your skin.

You chuckled under your breath, feeling the familiar swelling of your heart, "I keep forgetting my gloves."

You refrained from groaning when the doors to the fencing arena came into sight. Before you could push them open, Wednesday pulled you to a stop. You glanced up at her curiously; only to see her cheeks an unusual shade of pink, her jaw set tightly in place, eyes strangely a tad too wide. It's rare the times that you can visibly tell what she's feeling.

You curse the way your heart automatically expects the worst, and hold your breath.

"I was-" Wednesday tried, before averting her gaze from yours and inhaling deeply, "I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me this evening."

She spoke so quickly you almost didn't catch the words fully, but you did; and it sure felt that simple. "I'd love to."

Wednesday nodded stiffly at your answer and all but burst through the doors.

———

It takes some getting used to. Sometimes the turmoil of emotions that you make Wednesday feel gets her nauseous; she thinks she resembles a babbling idiot whenever she tries to mimic what she sees the other couples do — to say she's inexperienced in the area is a huge understatement; she's trying though, in her own way, but she is.

After a day of classes that kept her mostly away from you, Wednesday was making her way to the greenhouse, the place where she knows she'll find you. And she could feel that sensation — pumping through her body with each frantic beat of her heart the closer she gets to you — the tightness on her chest, the turning of her stomach. It's nearly painful. Dangerously addicting.

The evening sun had made its appearance, soft rays seeping through the glass walls as Wednesday pushed open the door. It was quiet, eerily so. No students were around, thankfully. She realized you liked your own dose of solitude too, it's not the first time she's found you hidden away all by yourself in the greenhouse.

Wednesday was quiet as she made her way inside, preserving your space.

You were standing in front of one of the tables when she found you, eyes focused solemnly on the flower pot in front of you as you hummed a song unknown to Wednesday. Blissfully unaware of her watchful gaze on you.

Your hands were delicate with their movements, making life bloom from your fingertips; there was a ray of sun casting over your cheek and lips — Wednesday envied the pesky thing.

You pushed back a strand of loose hair, smiling faintly when you got on your tip toes to put the flower back up on the shelf, a sea of green and gold around you.

Wednesday suddenly felt the back of her eyes burning faintly; because she refused to blink or something else, she was not sure.

But she's looking at you as if she just realized what love is.

And she could love you if she wanted to. If you allowed her to.

She thinks she already does anyway.

It's unlike anything she ever expected or wanted to feel — it's pain and bliss altogether — because she had the sudden need to be closer, to hold you, touch you; otherwise she'd spiral into madness.

And so she did.

You jumped when you felt two hands grasping at your waist, sharply turning around to see whoever thought had the right to touch you like that; yet any unkind words that were ready to leave your tongue disappeared when you were met with a pair of twin black braids you were all too familiar with.

Your skin is instantly littered with goosebumps. Wednesday's hands were firm on your waist, her thumbs barely sneaking under your shirt and grazing the skin there.

Before you could even try to speak, she was shutting you up with a searing kiss. It was different from last night; she pushed herself to you, desperate in the way her lips moved with yours — as if you hadn't seen each other in six years instead of six hours.

You took only a moment to recover, grasping at her blazer with your hands and embracing anything she'd be willing to give you.

Her lips were still as plush and warm as you remembered them, as you knew you'd never be able to forget.

Wednesday pulled back when air became an annoying necessity, all soft eyes and swollen lips. Her hands still gripping your waist, gaze darting to the mouth she'd just kissed only to see you gulp and look at your feet; away from her.

"Is this acceptable?" Wednesday found herself asking, voice raspier than usual, puffs of air coming out shallow and ragged as she regarded you with worry.

"Yeah," you were quick to breathe out, bringing one hand up and hesitating only a second before gingerly touching Wednesday's cheek, your thumb tracing the lines of her bottom lip. "More than acceptable."

"But?" The raven-haired girl raised a brow.

"I just-" you could feel your heartbeat, and wondered if she could feel it too, "I don't want to force you into anything, Wednesday." You gave her a melancholic smile, "I want to make sure you don't feel like you have to be doing this," you motioned with your hand between you and her, and she was so close you could barely breathe at all.

Wednesday's eyes shuttered with a sudden blankness and nothing could prepare you for the utterly adorable look of confusion on her face that followed; eyebrows pinching together and lips turned down at the corners as she pulled back only to look at you better.

"Never in my life would I do something I do not want to do," she said matter of factly.

You bit into your lip, one hand taking hold of Wednesday's braid so you had something to fidget with.

Straightening her posture, Wednesday gulped back her pride; "I'm not… good at this," she shook her head softly, her sudden fragility surprising you, "any of it."

And you finally see it; you see it in the way her eyes lose their sharp edges, how impossibly darker they are, shining under the fading sun; you see it in the way she insisted on holding your hand even when curious glances were thrown at you; you see it in the way she doesn't let anyone else spar with you in fencing or the way she always has an extra set of notes whenever you miss a class; you see it in the way she came after you and didn't give up even after you pushed her away. You see the way she's been loving you from day one, even if both of you didn't admit it.

"And I hate the fact that you make me want to try it anyway," Wednesday whispered, bringing you back to reality.

You huffed a chuckle, sliding your hands behind her neck to pull her closer, "you hate it?"

She rolled her eyes endearingly, "take the win," she said, before stealing another kiss from your lips.

Wednesday lingered close to you, her nose bumping yours. She didn't dare open her eyes when she asked the one thing she needed to hear you say; "so can I call you mine?" She choked out, upper lip grazing yours as she spoke.

There was a beat of silence and the Addams girl was almost already considering her early grave when you didn't answer right away.

Until you did, and she could feel your cheeky smile, "only if I can call you mine too."

Wednesday's lips twitched with the treat of a smile. It was an easy bargain.

With her hand in yours, Wednesday walked out of the greenhouse; her destination being the Weathervane, where she'd buy you a hot chocolate, and a coffee for herself and do whatever couples do together.

You wanted to stop by the quad first though.

The weight of Wednesday's hand was pleasant in yours. You took her to the middle of the quad, to where stood your finished project, at last; the big maple tree was the star in the center, surrounded by countless flowers with colors that complemented each other beautifully. Two stood out amongst them, a couple of black dahlias just by the foot of the tree, their dark color unmistakable.

"You remember I was renovating this flowerbed, right?" You asked softly, stealing a glance at your girl.

Wednesday hummed, "yes, I recall."

"I think it's finally done, what do you think?"

You watched as Wednesday's dark eyes skimmed over your work, they lingered a little longer on the black-colored flowers and your lips twitched with a smirk.

"It's nice, I'm sure Enid loved the multitude of colors," Wednesday commented, "the dahlias are a nice touch," she timidly admitted eventually.

"I thought you'd like them," your cheeks warmed up you raised both your joined hands to your lips, planting a kiss on the back of her hand before pulling her along to the main gates.

Before, you didn't understand why soulmates bring each other pain whenever they're near. But now, you can see there's something magical to it — it's the fact that, even with the pain, you won't abandon the one you love, and it's a kind of love that comes without warning, burns itself into your soul and marks your heart in the best possible way.

You admire the boldness of the universe; to create something so potentially tragic yet so delightful, so blissful.

Wednesday's shoulder bumped yours as you two walked, personal space forgotten. You could feel your heartbeats mingling.

Her hand warmed up yours.

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Read ch 10 here

Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are literally what keep me motivated to continue posting here, so I'd appreciate it if you could take some time to reblog and comment if you want. <3

Wednesday’s taglist: @milkiane @bookfrog242 @heelaechan @imagine-reblog @simp4wanda26 @sakurarukas @bluetreecloud20 @the-night-owl-blr @imlike-so-gaydude @user284747 @dreifhraniquo29 @emeraldevan @simp4nat @boobabietch @impossibleliv1031 @deadpool-in-a-snood @rainbow-love4ever @maria-403 @pompompuri @halleest @wandaromanova @marveloussimp @rainbow-hedgehog @left-and-right-up-and-down @get-the-fuck-outta-here @awolfcsworld @elduster @alexkolax @georgi-salva @imdumbhi @youralphawolf72 @reginassweetheart @justyourwritter69 @yangsroboarmm @8e-h-e8 @irish-piece-of-trash @femalehomosexual666 @wol-fica @wednesdays-woes

[the-savage-garden]

Nitpicking ACOWAR Ch 9

The reason this gets long is mostly because I was copy-pasting from the book that irritated me lol. Like, finding out what all of Feyre's bs "plans" were was the worst, everything was such a mess. It becomes clear how there was so much writing that was pointless, like SJM was putting off things to do a "reveal" and meanders with her writing.

Chapter 9

-Ianthe is sticking around instead of going to her temple “a few miles away.” I didn’t realize they used miles in this world, interesting.

-Ianthe is still trying to get closer to Tamlin for some reason, I still don’t understand the politics of this world. She still thinks she has a chance after what happened with the whipping. I’m so lost.

-Feyre is still working on keeping the sentries on her side. I wonder when she goes back to the Night Court would the sentries feel betrayed by her?

-”...while the healer quietly patched him up.” Is the healer magical or not? I don’t even know how healing works in this world to be able to tell.

-”Then apologized that I hadn’t been able to prevent it…I meant every word…” Feyre, you’re the reason it happened in the first place, the hell is wrong with you?

-”If I had asked them, they would have handed me their own knives to slit their throats.” I REALLY hate Feyre.

-Everyone’s going to the wall this time. I don’t know why it matters though.

-Jurian is winking at Feyre again. I’ve decided I hate him too.

-I also hate Alis. I hate everyone in this book honestly.

-[“I know the feeling,” was all I said.] That is not the same Feyre, you were barely in the Night Court, Alis hasn’t been home in Summer for around 50 years. How is Night Court your “home” already?

-”Even her tree-bark skin seemed to blanch.” If Alis has tree-bark skin how could it blanch? This doesn’t make sense to me.

-”She knew which court I meant. And did not look afraid.” But it’s the Night Court! They literally have an evil reputation, why would Alis not be afraid of them? I don’t understand her character.

-The sentries won’t look at Tamlin, you’d think he’d notice. I remember when he used to be more observant from the 1st book, I miss that guy.

-”...a courtesy I knew none of the others had extended.” Maybe because the nameless sentry was punished for a crime you framed him committing?

-”...appearing eager to mend the rift the whipping had torn between us.” But you’re trying to “mend” it with Ianthe, who the sentries all hate now. What does this accomplish at this point?

-Feyre shares a tent with Ianthe, supposedly to spare Lucien from dealing with her.

-”Lying beside Ianthe without slitting her throat…” I forgot how murderous Feyre has become now. It makes me sad.

-”I repeated their names silently, over and over into the darkness.” I see someone was inspired by Game Of Thrones (except it was a kill list, I know).

-Feyre also names her sisters which I’m surprised by. They haven’t exactly gotten along, it just seems… too soon to get to that yet. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me.

-”My goal was bigger than revenge. My purpose greater than personal retribution” Haha, funny joke Feyre. Wait, you’re serious? You’ve literally done nothing to Hybern this whole time you’ve been here, and you’ve been focusing on having your revenge on Spring instead. Ugh.

-”I wasn’t sure I’d been born with the ability to forgive. Not for terrors inflicted on those I loved.” I’m a little confused with Feyre’s character, I don’t remember this ever being brought up before.

-”For myself, I didn’t care—not nearly as much.” I guess this makes sense, Feyre did decide to hunt for her family so this at least tracks (I know it was because of a promise to her mother but I’d like to think Feyre did it because she cared even if she never thought it).

-”Could not stomach the idea of letting these people get away with what they’d done.” Who are “these people”? I get it with Ianthe but everyone else wanted to save Feyre from the Night Court because they believed she was in danger. Also no one you care about is dead, just injured, or in the case of your sisters are now immortal. So what exactly have they done to you?

-[“Hybern is not our enemy,” she said a tad breathlessly.] But they are Ianthe, what are you even talking about? I don’t get this character’s motivation at all. The Hybern royals think Ianthe is below them, shouldn’t she be worried about them?

-Also what’s the point of having Feyre “subtly” threaten Ianthe? Shouldn’t this tip off Ianthe that something’s wrong? These intimidating tactics make no sense to me.

-”Lucien and Tamlin showed the twins where the crack in the wall lay.” I’m still baffled that this is a plot point. It’s just… this is the best that SJM could come up with?

-”And as they had done with the first two, they spent hours surveying it, the surrounding land.” See what I mean? Why do they need to survey the wall for hours? I know the magic wall is going to go down but what’s the point of lingering on this part so much? Something else should be going on.

-”We’d played our little power games, established I could bite if I wished, but we’d tolerate each other.” I’m so lost. Hybern is framed to be the antagonists of the series but then they don’t do anything to Feyre. Is it because of the deal that Tamlin made that Hybern can’t harm anyone in Spring? I already can’t remember and I’m not going back.

-The weird twins discuss which hole is better. (I realized a funny joke about this.)

-For some reason we’re focusing on the fact that Feyre is eating an apple during this. Why?

-“Yes, but we’d have more access to the High Lord’s supplies.” I thought the deal with Hybern was leaving Spring alone while they go through? Why are supplies included? Why is this now being brought up when it should’ve been brought up earlier?

-”...and I had no idea whatsoever where Lucien or the sentries were.” That’s a rookie mistake on your part Feyre. How are you the one pulling the strings again? It feels like Feyre should be more out of her element than the book portrays it.

-”Good. Easier for me as I shoved the apple slice into my mouth…” What comedy bit am I about to read here? I’m dying inside.

-Why are the twins even listening to Feyre at all? I don’t get them at all.

-”I shrugged, cutting another piece of apple.” Note to self, don’t write someone eating while they’re talking, it’s annoying. And gross. And serves no purpose, unless I want to write someone being a piece of shit. In movies it’s usually done to make it obvious a character is an asshole.

-[“You two talk louder than you realize.” Shared accusatory glares between them.] The twins know that Feyre has mind powers, why are they being paranoid of each other?

-“Unless you want to risk the other courts having time to rally and intercepting you before you can cross to the strait, I’d pick this one.” That doesn’t even make any sense. These are all dumb writing choices.

-“But what do I know? You two have squatted on a little island for five hundred years. Clearly you know more about Prythian and moving armies than me.” I feel like SJM is basing this moment from a movie or something again. This quote is giving me deja vu.

-“This is not about armies, so I will trust you to keep that mouth shut until we have use for you.” Well, duh, they’re taking down the wall, not marching an army to the human lands because that would be pointless since humans are super weak against Fae.

-Feyre gets information out of Brannagh that I’ve already figured out. Why are the twins treated like they’re stupid? If it’s because “Fae are arrogant” I’m going to lose it.

-”It is for bringing down this hideous wall and reclaiming what we were.”  What does “reclaiming what you were” mean exactly?

-Does Feyre seriously get all the information she needs in one chapter? This brings me back to ACOMAF where we got one chapter of backstories. Ugh.

-”...Vallahan, Montesere, and Rask.” Got other places named.

-”Two hundred thousand. Mother save us” I don’t think SJM knows how troop numbers work.

-The twins should know that Feyre used to be human right? I just… I’m losing it.

-“The king had not yet found the Cauldron, despite years of searching. It served his purposes to let her be an experiment for how we might break these people. And served as good motivation for our allies on the continent to join us, knowing what would await them.” I hate this explanation.

-”I finished off my apple and chucked the core into the woods. They watched it fly like two hounds tracking a pheasant.” WHY? Why is this here?

-“So they’re all going to converge here? I’m supposed to play hostess to so many soldiers?” This is a stupid question.

-“Our own force will take care of Prythian before uniting with the others. Our commanders are preparing for it as we speak.” That’s obvious. Did Feyre seriously think that they’re going to have all of the arm forces in one place?

-Something about the stupid Cauldron. Hybern is using it to break the wall.

-“Probably. Though this mortal mind did manage to solve Amarantha’s riddle—and destroy her.” That’s not the brag you think it is Feyre, the answer was literally love. It wasn’t even a good riddle. I thought it was supposed to be stupid as an insult to Feyre honestly. And Tamlin was the one that destroyed her, not Feyre.

-“Why do you think Hybern let her live for so long in these lands? Better to have someone else do his dirty work.” What?

-”Not at me—but at who had given me those bruises. Who had picked Ianthe over them—and Hybern over their honor and people.” I wonder who caused that to happen.

-I’m sure I’m supposed to be happy that Feyre is leaving Spring but I’m not ready. I don’t want to read about the Night Court again.

-”The one I’d brought with me on every trip out to the wall, just in case.” In case of what? Leaving early? Feyre’s plans suck.

-”I had numbers, I had a purpose, I had a specific location, and the names of foreign territories.” The most obvious things are the answers? This is the info that Feyre was looking for? The only thing Feyre really needed was the location but it’s the place where Tamlin and Feyre went through in the 1st book so it feels that Feyre should’ve known already.

-”But more than that, I had a people who had lost faith in their High Priestess. I had sentries who were beginning to rebel against their High Lord. And as a result of those things, I had Hybern royals doubting the strength of their allies here. I’d primed this court to fall. Not from outside forces—but its own internal warring.” I want everyone to know I fucking hate this. This was the best plan Feyre could come up with to deal with Hybern? Spring isn’t even a true ally to Hybern, if the King thought that then he’s an idiot.

-”And to maintain that illusion of strength, Tamlin and Ianthe would lie about it—where I’d gone. And perhaps a day or two after that, one of these sentries would reveal the news, a carefully sprung trap that I’d coiled into his mind like one of my snares.” I hate this manipulative Feyre.

-”...the markings consistent with what Dagdan and Brannagh had already revealed to be their style.” When the twins attacked those humans? Did Feyre intend for that to happen?

-”I’d planted images in his head… How I ran for my life when Tamlin and Ianthe refused to intervene, to risk their alliance with Hybern.” I’m somehow supposed to see Feyre as a good person in all of this? That she does terrible things to do the right thing? But then she manipulates minds and creates false memories into people? I’m supposed to root for that?

-”And when the sentry revealed the truth, no longer able to stomach keeping quiet…” What the fuck Feyre? Does Feyre not realized how fucked up this is? She’s worse than Hybern! Hybern is at least honest with their shit.

-”There would be no further alliance. For there would be no sentry or denizen of this court who would stand with Tamlin or Ianthe after this. After me.” Alliance? You mean the deal that Tamlin made with Hybern to save you? And me? Feyre is so selfish, I know she was before, but this… Ugh.

-”A few seconds extra had me snatching Tamlin’s bandolier of knives…Illyrian fighting knives.” Why is Feyre stealing them? This doesn’t make sense. They were given to Tamlin (I think) and that doesn’t give Feyre the right to take them.

-”Keep going. They were distracted, horrible as it was.” Ah, yes, let’s leave your friend Lucien behind huh?

-”Keep going, keep going, keep going.” Don’t remind me of Finding Nemo, book. Ugh.

-[“I thought you’d seek me out after the Rite,” Ianthe purred.] So, Ianthe likes to have control over men by forcing herself on them. But I’m completely lost with how she words this.

-“I was obligated to perform the Rite,” Lucien snapped. “That night wasn’t the product of desire, believe me.” But everyone gives Tamlin a hard time from the 1st book because of the Rite. Neither Tamlin nor Lucien gets a choice on who they sleep with during the Rite. I just… have many questions for this that won’t get answered.

-”I’d primed everything to fall; I’d long since stopped feeling any sort of guilt or doubt about my plan.” I gotta reiterate how awful Feyre is.

-”I had done my job too well, provoked her jealousy too much with every instance I’d found ways to get Lucien to touch me in her presence, in Tamlin’s presence.” Jealousy? Why would Ianthe be jealous? She just wants control, doesn’t she? I also hate the way touching is used as a catalyst for this because Lucien and Feyre are supposedly friends, this shouldn’t mean much, at least to me.

-[“Do not touch me,” he growled. And then I was moving.] Oh, so now you suddenly care about your friend Feyre?

-”I masked the sound of my footfalls…” With magic or…?

-Ianthe restrains Lucien with some blue stone from Hybern that can magically nullify powers. In the 2nd book Rhys had also been chained up with the same stone. I just realized this but did SJM borrow the sea-stone thing from One Piece? I didn’t realize how much of an anime fan SJM was.

-”She slid a hand over the broad panes of his chest, his stomach.” I don’t like how this whole thing is framed. This is supposed to be horrifying, not sexy.

-”And Lucien’s eyes shot to me as I stepped between the trees, fear and humiliation reddening his golden skin.” The way this is written confuses me for some reason? Also we’ve got golden to describe skin again.

-”Her hand slid lower, not for his own pleasure, but simply to throw it in my face that she could—” Why is this directed at Feyre for? I thought Ianthe just likes having power over others but then why throw this into Feyre’s face. I don’t get Ianthe, this writing sucks.

-”A mask over a face of decay. That’s what it was like to go inside that beautiful head and find such hideous thoughts inside it.” I hate the way this is written.

-”Lucien’s skin drained of color as Ianthe obeyed me, her face queerly vacant, pliant.” I know Feyre is saving Lucien but I don’t like how she’s mind-controlling Ianthe.

-“Smash your hand with the rock as hard as you can until I tell you to stop.” This reminds me a lot of that villain from Jessica Jones, how is Feyre the good guy again?

-“You will not remember what happened here. You will tell the others that you fell.” Huh, that’s what an abuser usually says.

-“You are allowed to see a healer to set the bones. But not to erase the scarring…” Why bring up scarring like that?

-”I’ve debated it every single day since I learned you sold out my sisters to Hybern.” So, Feyre wanted to kill Ianthe because of what happened to her sisters. I get it but I dunno, all of this feels odd to me.

-Is Feyre not going to ask if Lucien is okay? Or do anything to reassure him? No? Okay.

-And now the weird twins show up.

[shinogi-xx]

ARC 2! what's the worst that can happen!

ch 8 (Learning to Fall) hehe oh my god I love this chapter. I just love firstly when small lines from some previous chapter come BACK like--- wow look at me actually weaving tiny subplots into the story?? look at me with my continuity?? if only i could do that more often LOL but more importantly, i think this chapter does a good job of like, really showcasing the SHIFT that their relationship just took after this traumatic event. Suddenly that man is nicer to her because he's becoming more protective. Kidnappings are kind of a traumatic reoccurring event in his life (RIP to him I'm so sorry) and he's pissed it happened to her, feels bad for her, and is starting to really take his "favor" more seriously. On Kei's side-- she's subconsciously linked the feeling of being "okay" and being "safe" with him now. He was the first familiar face she saw after experiencing a horrifyingly traumatic EVENT, he was the one who technically saved her from it, he was the one who comforted her, and because she feels like she needs to keep the whole hit a secret, it feels like he's the only person she can confide in right now. It's not that she's really falling in love, she's kind of incapable of doing that right now, she's so swallowed in grief that she can't process much of anything well-- she's attaching these positive feelings to him and mislabeling them. She's in love with the idea of him, with him as a concept, with him as a sturdy set of hands, with him as he presents himself to her. She can't truly love him until after she takes a step back to reevaluate. Anyway this chapter is also really fun and cute

ch 9 (Circles) HEHE... this one has some bigger issues than 8 but I still like it. It could use some quality of life updates (I just did a little bit, but a more intensive editing session for sure). It's one of those ones that pick up immediately from the previous chapter, and I think it's handled well. There's some good movement and overall I think Kei's emotions & more importantly, her reasoning is coming across the way I want it to? The big thing about this chapter is of course, her deciding to continue with the job despite not being sure anymore if she actually wants the Red Snake to be killed. She knows the only real reason why she wanted it in the first place was because revenge was something she could still do for Nikko, it was something to fixate her raw, angry grief on-- the Red Snake was something to blame. It was something holding her together, making her strong. But the trauma of being so close to a shooting, of seeing the blood up close, turned thinking about the Red Snake being killed from something like relief, into something triggering. It just reminded her of her experiences. So instead of fixating on revenge, now she's fixating on him. She's going through with it because she doesn't want to part from him yet. This is the beginning of Kei's progression into her new coping mechanism-- everyone's favorite, Denial! She forces herself not to think about the hit, and about Nikko really being gone. Instead it's just a matter of keeping herself close to the person she's become attached to. Also the "always, I think" line will get my ass every time, forever.

ch 10 Handle This I've always had weird feelings about this chapter but the bigger issue is that, it's just really uninteresting. Like... nothing happens. and I don't know how to fix nothing happening. It's boring if you're not obsessed with these tiny interactions like I am, and there's nothing that furthers the plot... the entire chapter just serves as a little more of a peek into Kei's grief and her deepening reliance on that man for comfort. This one is gonna need some serious work for me to ever be satisfied with it. The only important thing to take away is the you can trust me line.

ch 11 Broken lol THIS chapter has a plot hole alright.... how did Jyuchan get into the apartment building when you're supposed to put a code in huh?? is there just some kind of police override ?? (joke) Maybe that man watched Kei do it and then told him lol idk, that should probably be fixed. Also how passage of time (?) also spelling mistake again wtf For good notes, I DO really like the ending where Kei mentally shifts through who to call. I like how she chooses him without even really thinking about or realizing it. I like how obvious it's gotten in this chapter in particular, how much she feels like she needs him to be okay. I've also always really liked the snippets of SaKe growing closer, I think the small jumps in time went over well and they feel like good representatives of how their relationship is progressing. They are playful and they make each other smile

ch 12 Staring at the Sun me everytime i read the opening of this chapter i WISH i could write the whole damn story like this. why did I pop off. the imagery, the scene snapping, the dialogue, the lighthouse metaphor I think about them like this so much also the thought of that man softly humming along to a song on the radio at night has in me a chokehold for the rest of my life The rest of this one is pretty good too, I don't really have any issues with it. It's always been near the top of the list. The Post chapters always hit idk!! The title is so important to this one. Like, might be THE most important title to any chapter-- it just explains SO much about Kei right now.

ch 13 Riptide SPELLING?? ERROR???? I think this one does a good job bringing Kei's confliction to light. I always get nervous and wonder if these sorts of feelings that I plant the seeds of actually come across, but I always forget that I do eventually make it more plain once they get to this point and are really strong. Which is good, because they're something I wanted to be pretty clear... I always worry that the story just sounds like Kei forgets everything to fall in love, because that's really far from the case fdjks and I wanna keep making it clear in the latest chapters, that their relationship doesn't start off very healthy at all, for either of them!! even if there are sweet and genuine moments (the things that keep them together), neither of them are in the headspace for a relationship, and it becomes something they really have to work on

ch 14 Fade Away hehe.... this chapter makes me blush fjksdg (everyone knows how i feel about this one by now)

ch 15 Something's Gotta Give my experience reading this chapter is 5 minutes of laughter followed by the most somber, silent sadness (I don't have any real notes on this one I think?? It's fine... it does its job. The admittance goes over pretty well I think? But I've always been really really curious if it actually hits? /sob Like... is it shocking? Is it satisfying? It's impossible for me to know, and part of me does worry there's not enough context? Is the admittance confusing? Are the dots I've laid out able to be connected up to this point?) Maybe I'll make a map of the various microplot points connecting LOL that would've been fucking useful while actually writing, doing it now would just be for funsies

ARC 2 END!

yearly SaKe re-read post

because I've finally been working on chapter 21's outline again, and my last full read through was over a year ago and didn't include 19 & 20. If I'm going to attempt to start 21's document, I'm gonna need to get everything really fresh again first. Which also means: I dissect shit again, and blog about it. (I swear it helps with the process) (but it also just scratches my brain really nice) Also to note, I'm gonna be editing again. Maybe even tackling some of the bigger issues with the story that have bugged me but would be a project in itself. We'll see.

Notes from last time (for ease of access): here

[nasaty]

Noctilucence

Student Aizawa x (she/her) student reader, so much angssssttt and grief and a bunch of fluff. (Do not bring any pedo shit into my presence or I will fucking destroy you

MANGA SPOILERS until episode 107 comes out. - also this requires context that I am not providing from MHA manga and the arc with Aizawa in Vigilantes. TW: death. 9 part series.

Ch 1 here | Ch. 2 here | Ch. 4 here

Ch. 3 the Message

Your phone pinged on your dresser as you were fixing your hair after getting out of the shower.

It was a text from Hizashi. Your little lunch group recently produced a group chat, (in which Hizashi was obsessed with and never stopped spewing things into.) You used an app that reminded you of AOL instant messenger. You left your dinging phone on your vanity as you brushed through your tangled hair.

Cat Cafe Crew chat

(Hizashi) pr3sentmixtape - YOooO listeners did you hear about Lunch Rush?? 🥺

(Oboro) CUMulostratus - …no? Are they okay??

pr3sentmixtape - Yeah they’re fine, but the school thought they were overworking themself a bit so they’ve split lunches into two separate times starting tomorrow. 😓😭

(Nemuri) titsandass69 - what the fuk

CUMulostratus - Well I’m glad they’re okay, but do we know what lunches we have yet? What if we don’t have it together 😓

(Aizawa) Aizawa - we still have 2-A together.

CUMulostratus - 😭😭but not with Y/n!! 😭😭

Aizawa - .

pr3sentmixtape - GUYS the lunch designations haven’t even been given out yet, it’ll be okay.

titsandass69 - I will probably turn into a villain if I don’t have the same lunch as Y/n, I’m not going back to whatever the fuck we were doing before she was with us. lol

pr3sentmixtape - Apparently the lunches will get posted by 8pm tonight on our school website.

CUMulostratus - THAT’S IN 20 MINUTES

titsandass69 - no duh, airhead

pr3sentmixtape - HAH air head…. Like… air.. and clouds….cloud quirk.. I get it

titsandass69 - congratulations Hizashi 😂

CUMulostratus - •changed the name to ‘✨ CATfé chat ✨’•

✨ CATfé chat ✨

Y/u/n - 😭😭 can someone send me a picture once the lunches get posted? My internet hasn’t been working well at home.

pr3sentmixtape - I got chu, boo 😉

titsandass69- hey that’s my line 😡

You had been having trouble with the internet at home for weeks but didn’t want to bother your parents about it. They were hardly ever home, working their very important jobs in hero infrastructure. They were both born quirkless, which was surprisingly uncommon now a days, even more rare with your generation. You were old enough to fend for yourself, and even though you couldn’t drive and didn’t have a car, you were in walking distance of a grocery store and the school, so living *mostly* alone wasn’t so bad.

…but it did get kind of lonely and you wanted a cat. All the talk about making a cat cafe made you want one to snuggle up with in the evenings.

*PING* your phone went off with an image from Hizashi

✨ CATfé chat ✨

pr3sentmixtape - [pic]

We have separate lunches…. 😪😭

titsandass69- oh my GOD are you kidding meeee I’m literally about to graduate they cannot do this to me my last semester!

Y/u/n - hey can someone tell me what’s in the picture, I don’t think I can get pictures bc of my stupid internet

pr3sentmixtape- Lunch 1: 10:50-11:25

Hizashi, Oboro, Nemuri

Lunch 2: 12:30-1:10

Shouta and Y/n

Aizawa - •logged off at 8:06PM•

CUMulostratus - yikeeeees ^^^ 😬

titsandass69- this sucks

CUMulostratus - guys we’re just going to have to find time after school. Maybe we can train together and y/n can coach us 🥰

Y/u/n- I’m down with that!

pr3sentmixtape - but me and Aizawa and Oboro are in work studies….and Nemuri is….doing whatever the heck she does

titsandass69 - IM ALSO IN WORK STUDY YOU SHIT

CUMulostratus- we’ll make time for each other. we’ll figure it out. ❤️

You tried ignoring how awful it made you feel that Aizawa signed off, knowing he did that because he was angry he had lunch with you and no one else. You couldn’t ignore it.

Direct Message - CUMulostratus 🌥

Y/u/n - do you think Aizawa hates me?

CUMulostratus - nah he hates everyone

Y/u/n - …but he hates me more than everyone else

CUMulostratus- He does not! He’s just bad at emotions.

Y/u/n - yeah, bad at having anything other than negative emotions towards me

CUMulostratus - lol shit up

*shut

CUMulostratus - •changed the name to ‘sad bitches’•

Y/u/n - lol.

But seriously.

Did I do something to upset him?

CUMulostratus - okay. FINE you got it out of me.

ILL TELL YOU gosh. I can’t believe you pried it out of me

Y/u/n - ?? 🤔

CUMulostratus - I’ve known Shouta for a while, and I think I’m pretty good at reading him at this point. And I’ve noticed something.

Y/u/n - dude what are you even saying

CUMulostratus - so like essentially around everyone, he is mostly just a grumpy ass, but you’ve like… noticed that he acts a little bit different around our friends?

Y/u/n - sure

CUMulostratus - and I’ve seen him around our friends before you were hanging out with us?

Y/u/n - yeah

CUMulostratus - he acts different around you

Y/u/n - uhh yeah that’s why we’re having this convo

CUMulostratus - no I mean like, he looks at you differently than the others. he like watches you when we’re all hanging out but if anyone catches him he looks away

Y/u/n - he’s gonna kill me 😦😂

CUMulostratus - LOL nooo

ok, I asked him about it once

Y/u/n - ?

CUMulostratus - I asked how he felt about you and I’ve never seen him turn so red in my life. I almost started to tease him and he got straight up mad at me for a bit. Then he begged me to not tell anyone

Y/u/n - WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THEN

CUMulostratus - BECAUSE YOU GUYS WOULD BE CUTE TOGETHER

Y/u/n - IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN HE LOOKS LIKE HES GOING TO STAB ME AT ALL TIMES

CUMulostratus - are you saying you wouldn’t like to daaaaate him?

Y/u/n - .

CUMulostratus - ?????!!!!!?!!!??!???!!

Y/u/n - okay yeah but like it would never happen

CUMulostratus - JUST YOU WAIT

•logged off at 8:46PM•

Y/u/n - fuck

You set your phone face down knowing you wouldn’t be hearing from anyone soon. Starting to shiver you realized how much Aizawa meant to you and how you didn’t want to ruin your friendship, even if he looks like he’s torturing you in his head at all times. You knew you had feelings for him but kept pushing them down because ‘why would anyone pursue someone that hates them,’ that’s irrational.

Aizawa hated people that were irrational.

Aizawa hated you.

You decided to go to bed early, hoping that would help you be ready to face whatever these changes bring with your best friends. Maybe having a good nights sleep would help clear your head, you thought.

But nothing could’ve prepare you for tomorrow.

[meltwonu]

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 9]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; blowjob, dirty talk/mild degradation, sir!kink, name calling, fingering, v v v v mild impregnation kink,  filming/sex tapes, fucking in public, dom!seungcheol, uh oh is trouble is brewing in this chapter??? He h, , 😏, again thank you for your continued support! 🥺💕 and can I also say that not giving myself a chapter limit on this bad boy is really letting me ramble? LOL this was meant to be a short chapter and I cut it off right before the meaty bits(you’ll know where) but I was like no I'll give my readers a nice weekend gift instead of another cliffhanger 😌🍒 have a nice weekend bbys! ily!! 💕

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - ?

You wake up earlier than Seungcheol by 45 minutes; sleepy eyes sweeping across the quiet apartment.

The sound of his soft snoring lures you towards the sofa; softly tiptoeing your way over until you hover just above him.

“‘Cheol…” He sighs softly, adjusting from his side to his back as you grin. You round the sofa, swinging your leg gently until you can sit on top of his thighs.

Seungcheol grunts softly at this; blurry eyes blinking open until they focus on your figure. “Wuh--what?” His voice is much deeper and much more gravelly in the morning and it sends your body into overdrive, goosebumps rising on your skin when his hands immediately find purchase on your thighs. “What are you doing so early in the morning?”

“Nothin’~ Just thought I’d say thank you for last night, s’all…” You mumble.

“Lemme get my phone so I--”

“No!” A blush sweeps across your cheeks, hands peeling back the blanket that covers Seungcheol until his naked chest and boxer briefs are in view. “No, I--I don’t want to film this. I just want you to enjoy it... ” Whispering, your hands travel down his torso; admiring his toned body. “I think you deserve it after everything you’ve done for me.”

His cock throbs as he watches you, slow and unhurried in your movements when you palm him over his boxer briefs. “We have 45 minutes before you need to start getting ready for work~ Think of it as… morning exercise~” You giggle, squeezing his cock as he groans.

“Fuck, for who, exactly?”

You pout down at him, fingertips tugging his underwear down until his cock curves against his abdomen. “You can burn calories when you cum, y’know!” Seungcheol laughs breathily; sleepy eyes peering up at you as you wrap a delicate hand around his cock. “I mean, it’s not a lot but it’s still something~”

“Okay, okay, I’ll take your word for it.”

His morning voice has you biting your lip; pussy clenching around emptiness when you start to imagine how much deeper it could possibly get in the right scenario.

But for now, you focus on Seungcheol as you run your hand up and down his cock; palm wet with precum. “Is it weird to wake up with a boner in the morning?” Seungcheol sputters; a choked laugh on his lips.

“To be fair, it’s rather normal.”

“Huh… can’t imagine.”

It falls into comfortable silence, only the sounds of Seungcheol’s breathy moans in the otherwise quiet space.

You lick your lips, re-adjusting yourself until you’re kneeling between his legs instead. “Can’t be making a mess on your nice sofa, right?”

Seungcheol smirks down at you, resting his arms behind his head. “Better swallow it all, babygirl. If I even see a drop on the sofa, you know what happens, right?” His voice is eerily sweet and sends thrums of arousal down your spine.

“Yes, sir~”

He grits his teeth at ‘sir’; eyes fixated on your tongue when you start to softly lap at the precum that dribbles from the head of his cock. “God, this just makes me think of all the things I wanted to say to you last night.”

You peer up at him through your lashes, tongue tracing the vein on the underside of his cock. “Whaddya wanna say?” Your words are slurred together as you continue to lap at his cock; lips wrapping around his cock head as you swallow around him.

“Ngh, sh--shit, I--God, you were so fuckin’ cute taking my cock for the first time. And I wanted to praise you for takin’ me so well for the first time too. But I know I couldn't say that on camera.” He lets out a shaky breath when he feels you slowly start to take more of his cock into your mouth.

“You were so good for me, baby. So fuckin’ filthy when you fingered yourself with my cum...”

You moan around his cock which in turn sends goosebumps rising on his skin. “Fuck, I’m---I’m not gonna last long…” He warns; hips already thrusting up into your mouth as you continue to swallow around him. You pull off of his cock for a second, wrapping your hand around him again as you start to pump your hand up and down again.

“You can cum whenever you want~ And maybe next time just cum inside me too!” You pout.

Seungcheol nods just as you wrap your lips around him again; this time using your hand on the rest of his cock that doesn’t fit in your mouth.

His breaths get quicker and he feels his abdomen tightening by the second, only a choked noise as a warning before he’s cumming in your mouth.

You let out a surprised yelp as you immediately start swallowing the warm cum, hollowing your cheeks around him as you work him through his high.

He whispers your name a few seconds later and you pull off of him again, licking at your chapped lips. “Good?”

Seungcheol nods back, laughing lightly at your disheveled appearance.

“Good.”

“Hey hyung! Hey hyung!”

Seungcheol turns around, cheeks already aflame when he meets Jeongguk’s inquisitive stare. “Yes, ‘Guk?”

The younger male slides a candy bar across the concession stand’s counter top, eyebrows wiggling. “Say, do you need a cameraman?”

“What.”

Jeongguk lets out an exasperated sigh, “Y’know, someone to help… film. Get your good angles. You know what I mean?” He slides the candy bar further towards Seungcheol’s direction. “I’m your man, y’know? I got you, hyung.”

Seungcheol can only grimace in return, swiping the candy bar off of the counter top before he turns to leave. “I don’t think that’ll ever happen but on the offset chance it does, I’ll be sure to let you know. And for the record, one candy bar is not going to sway me.” Seungcheol laughs, shaking his head as he starts to walk away.

“Hey, wait!”

“Yeah?”

Jeongguk ushers him back; wrapping an arm around his shoulder as he leans in. “Me and a few of my buddies are going clubbing tomorrow night. It’s nothing major, just a few drinks after work but did you wanna come? You can bring your sweet babygirl with you.” He snickers, watching as the blush travels up to Seungcheol’s ears.

“I’ll see if she wants to come but I’m not promising anything, okay?”

“Hey man, a ‘maybe’ is good enough for me! Y’know, I specifically planned for Thursday ‘cause I knew you’d be busy on Friday, what with your new… career and all.”

The older male bites his lip; Jeongguk had no idea of the video. Yet.

“Uh, right. Anyways, I gotta go before Namjoon gets my ass for not cleaning the skates. I’ll talk to you later.”

Seungcheol makes it home in record speed; this time flinging the door open as he kicks his shoes off. “I’m back!”

Mild confusion crosses his features when he smells food cooking, shuffling into the kitchen as he sees your figure setting up plates of food. “I hope you don’t mind! I cracked open those cookbooks for dinner… Thought I’d try to be helpful around here!”

You shoot him a smile as you make your way into the living room where you set down the plates of food onto the coffee table. “Also… because we have to review this video before I can post it and I know how awkward that can be for the first time so I thought I’d soften the blow a little.”

“Guess that’s fair!” Seungcheol settles in next to you, a soft chuckle on his lips. “Hey, wanna hear something funny that happened at work today?”

“I’m scared, but sure!”

“Jeongguk offered to help us film.” You immediately choke on your food, setting down your plate as you try to catch your breath. “He--he w-what?” Seungcheol can only nod as he shovels another forkful into his mouth.

“Yeah, said somethin’ ‘bout getting my good angles ‘n stuff. Told him I don’t think we’d get that desperate for extra hands but that if we did, I’d let him know.”

This time you can’t stop the laughter that pours out of you; a soft blush on your cheeks. “Wow, I--I’m a little flattered, to be honest. Maybe once we’re more comfortable, we can enlist his help!”

Seungcheol’s eyes widen, panic clear in his eyes when he meets your cheery expression. “Wait, seriously? You wouldn’t mind him being here and filming for us? Wouldn’t that be weird?” Giggling in return, you pick up your plate again, picking at it as you stare back at Seungcheol.

“I mean, think about it, I’ve always filmed alone for the longest time until I met you. And now I’m getting to explore so many new things, also thanks to you. Having someone film for me… That---That just opens a lot of possibilities, is all. Obviously, neither of us are comfortable with it now but who knows, right? Maybe once we’re billionaires off of making sex tapes, we can afford a whole team of people~!”

“Wow, do I really sound like that?”

Seungcheol grimaces in embarrassment as he watches the video with you. “I told you it’d be embarrassing the first time!”

His shaky eyes focus back onto the screen, mouth agape as he watches his cock sinking into your pussy. “Fuck, I didn’t think it’d be this hot but… I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t the hottest thing I’ve ever seen… Not to toot my own horn or anything.” He mumbles.

“It’s okay to be proud of yourself, ‘Cheol! Confidence is a good thing and it takes a lot to film this kinda stuff anyway.”

You check to see how much of the video is left, noting it’s almost close to the end. “I think we did good and nothing’s out of place or too much. Is it okay with you to upload?” Seungcheol nods, “Seems good to me! I mean we cut off the beginning so it’s cleaned up, right?”

“Mmhmm!”

You start on uploading the video, biting the inside of your cheek as you slightly turn to face Seungcheol. “I don’t know what to title the video…” You mutter; sliding the laptop towards him as he furrows his brow in thought. His fingertips glide across the keyboard before he slides the laptop back in your direction.

‘daddy makes me take his big cock as punishment after i misbehave…’

“Don’t judge me, it’s just--s-similar titles I’ve seen before.” You laugh in response, getting back into uploading and adding various tags and a video description. “It’s what gets the people!”

“Speaking of people…” Seungcheol pauses, unsure. “Uh, feel free to say no but Jeongguk invited us out for drinks tomorrow night. Said it’s just a few of his friends. I told him I’d ask you but if you’re not comfortable, we don’t have to go.”

You contemplate your options, watching as the upload progress on the video goes up. “I mean… why not? I haven’t gone out for drinks in a loooong time, so it might be fun! We can always bail if it gets weird.”

Seungcheol nods as he gets up from the sofa, stretching. “Okay, I’ll come back after work to come get you and so I can get changed and then we’ll meet up with ‘Guk and his friends at the club.” The video finishes rendering and you quickly hit the ‘upload’ button before you smile up at Seungcheol.

“Sounds good!”

Thursday’s workday comes and goes quicker than Seungcheol thinks and he actually finds himself excited to go out for once.

“See you in a bit, Seungcheol-hyung!” Jeongguk waves him off from behind the concession stand, a bright smile on his lips. “Ah, yeah! I’ll meet you at the club! Don’t forget to turn off the slushie machine this time!”

He makes his way out to his car after he clocks out, humming as he goes. Sliding into the driver’s seat, he reaches for his phone as he turns the key to start the car.

“Hello?”

“Hey baby, just wanted to let you know I’m heading back. ‘Guk is off of work in about 30 minutes so don’t feel rushed to get ready.”

“Okay~ See you soon, ‘Cheol!”

“I’m home!”

“Welcome back!”

You meet Seungcheol at the door, already dressed in a short red dress and heels. “Well? How do I look?” You spin for him, showing off your outfit.

“Wow, that----that’s quite an outfit.” He exhales, “You look incredible.”

“Thanks! I’m actually pretty excited!” Seungcheol mimics your excitement as he crosses the space towards you, arm wrapped around your waist as he pulls you in close. “Mm, I’m excited too. Maybe if we’re lucky, we can see how well this dress looks on the floor too?”

“If we’re lucky~”

When you and Seungcheol get to the club, it’s somewhat empty in front.

“Seems about right for a Thursday, I guess.” Seungcheol offers, wrapping an arm around your waist again. “It’s kind of a dead part of town too, so this doesn’t surprise me.” He laughs, “Maybe we shouldn’t have gotten our hopes up.”

“Heyyyy, don’t be such a party pooper!”

The two of you turn to find Jeongguk with another male walking up the sidewalk. “Just ‘cause it’s a little empty doesn’t mean we can’t drink!” Seungcheol jokingly rolls his eyes as he tugs you in closer.

“You better watch yourself this time ‘cause you’re on your own. I didn’t drive and I’ve got this ‘lil lady to take care of.”

Jeongguk grins widely, shuffling closer towards the two of you. “Speaking of… Great video. Fuckin’ impeccable. I can’t believe hyung is packin’. Well, I can but whew, seeing it like that? Surprised you’re still walkin’ around.”

Oh, shit. The video!

You and Seungcheol share a panicked look; neither of you had even bothered to look at the video once it’d been uploaded, which meant that you had absolutely no idea how it was doing or what people were saying. “Ah, haha, ye--yeah! T--thanks for watching…” You mumble, suddenly shy.

Jeongguk wraps an arm around the unknown male’s shoulders, nodding in thought. “Had to give my support so you know I dropped a few bills in donations.” He tips his imaginary hat towards Seungcheol, winking. “Fantastic work, Seungcheol-hyung.”

“Shouldn’t we also be praising the lovely Cherry for her performance as well?” The unnamed male smiles widely, eyes forming crescents. “You’re pretty on camera but you’re just stunning in person.”

“I---uh, do I… Know you?”

Seungcheol’s eyes narrow slightly at the male, finding him somewhat familiar despite never meeting him before.

“Well, maybe? I’ve commented and donated a few times. My name’s Jimin. Or ‘j__min’ if that’s how you know me.” He adds a wink and a slight smirk, eyes twinkling when he focuses his attention towards Seungcheol. “And I have a feeling, I know who you are too. Although as far as I knew, the two of you had never met before. Correct me if I’m wrong?”

Seungcheol doesn’t immediately want to get hostile over nothing, so he untenses his jaw; eyes dancing over to you. “It’s.. a long story. And yes, your assumptions are right. But you can just call me Seungcheol.”

You and Jeongguk can feel the tenseness in the air as the four of you stand outside of the club and you share a look that screams ‘let’s change the subject’. “Oooookay, now that we’ll all introduced, let’s go drink!” 

“Hey, wait...” Seungcheol starts, “I thought you said a couple of friends? Where’s everyone else?” Jeongguk pouts, sighing. 

“They bailed. Said they didn’t wanna drink on a Thursday so it’s just the four of us!”Jeongguk all but drags Jimin towards the entrance, leaving you and Seungcheol alone.

“You okay, ‘Cheol?”

“I should be asking you that, baby.” He chuckles under his breath, shooting you a lopsided smile. “Guess this town is smaller than I thought.”

You laugh in return, wrapping your arms around his midsection as you tug him towards the entrance. “Hey, it’s okay! He doesn’t seem like a bad guy. Maybe a ‘lil sleazy but y’know.” The two of you share a laugh as you get through security; fingers linked together.

“If he tries anything, just let me know.” Nodding, you lead Seungcheol to a table that Jeongguk and Jimin are already sitting at, sliding into the seats across from them. “Holy fuck, you already got drinks?!” You exclaim, noting the glasses in their hands.

“Yeah! You guys walk so fuckin’ slow, I could’ve downed four drinks in the time it took you to get over here!” Jimin scoffs next to him, taking a sip of his own drink. “Didn’t Seungcheol say you’re on your own?”

“Won’t you take care of me?”

“No.”

You laugh at their exchange, leaning into Seungcheol. “Should we get some drinks too?” He nods, already getting up from his seat as he gestures for you to stay. “Stay here, I’ll get some for us.”

Seungcheol leaves to get the two of you something to drink, leaving you with Jeongguk and Jimin. “Hey, are you and hyung like… dating dating?”

A blush paints your cheeks even in the dimmed club lights and it only gets worse when you notice Jimin smirking at you. “Um, well, I--I wouldn’t say that but…” You trail off, unsure of what to say next. Were you dating? Or was it just physical?

“Hey, my offer still stands if you wanna film with me!” Jimin shouts over the music, shrugging. “Although, I don’t think your boyfriend would like it very much.”

“Boyfriend?” Seungcheol questions as he sits back down next to you. “Who?”

“You!” Jeongguk and Jimin both reply, laughing. Seungcheol hands you your drink before taking a sip of his own. He makes no comment; a little uneasy about the topic himself.

“Anyway, my offer still stands at being the cameraman. I’m really good at video editing too!”

You and Seungcheol have a few more drinks, delving into idle conversation with the other two before you decide you want to dance.

“Mind if I join you?” Jimin asks, eyes flitting towards Seungcheol. “If it’s okay?”

You and Seungcheol share a look, but he breaks eye contact to raise an eyebrow at Jimin. “It’s not my decision, I’m not her keeper.”

You turn to Jimin, a slight pout on your lips. “Just mind your hands, okay?” He nods, grinning as he leads you towards the dance floor.

Jeungguk takes the opportunity to replace you as he plops into the seat next to Seungcheol as soon as the two of you are out of sight, drink sloshing in his cup.

“You’re jealous.”

“What?” Seungcheol shoots the younger male an incredulous look right before taking a swig of his drink. “You’re drunk and sounding crazy.”

“Puhhhh---lease, hyung. You like her. Like, actually like her. Just admit it, we all know it!”

Seungcheol’s lips press into a firm line, eyes scanning the dancefloor until they fall on you and Jimin dancing together. “Okay, yes, I do like her.” He pauses, biting the inside of his cheek when he sees Jimin’s hands on your waist. “Now can we drop it?”

“No way! ‘Cause I know you’re jealous as fuck right now watching them dancing together which is why you can’t fuckin’ take your eyes off of them to even look at me!”

“How much you wanna bet your boy-toy is imagining ripping my head off right now?”

You roll your eyes at Jimin’s comment, swaying to the beat as he puts his hands on your waist. “C’mon, play with me a little here, doll.” He tugs you in closer, making sure to keep a reasonable distance at first. “He likes you a lot, y’know. I can feel the way he burns holes in my head wishing I wasn’t here. But the truth is, I love it.” His words have you confused, eyebrows furrowing as you hold his stare.

“What are you talking about, Jimin? Have you had too many to drink too?”

He laughs boisterously, pulling you into him as your chest meets his. “I love playing with people, just like how I’m playing with Seungcheol right now. I think it’s a fun little game, y’know? For example, in a few seconds he’s gonna march down here and take you right from my arms, fuck you nice and hard if you’re lucky and he’s pissed enough. Unfortunately, the two of you are easy books to read. You like being fucked hard and let’s be real, you love it messy. And Seungcheol, well, he’s practically in love with you and green is definitely not his colour.” Jimin ends in a wink, squeezing your ass once for good measure.

“Oopsies, here comes your loverboy now. Hey, call me if you ever need help, yeah? You know where to find me~” Jimin blows you a kiss right before you’re spinning to face Seungcheol who looks undeniably annoyed.

“Having fun I see.” He grins, eyes burning with lust as he wraps a hand around your wrist. “Wanna have some more?”

You can only gulp in return, nodding shakily as he drags you towards an empty hall.

The music gets more and more muffled the deeper he drags you into the club and you mentally curse yourself when you feel the wetness already pooling in your panties.

Seungcheol tugs you into a small private room meant for parties, locking the door behind him as he pushes you towards one of the sofas. “Guess we won’t be having that quiet night in, hmm?” He picks his phone out of his pocket, silently telling you to catch it as he throws it your way.

Your shaky hands open the camera app, pressing record and making sure to keep Seungcheol’s face out of frame when you lean against the back of the plush material.

“Jeez, babygirl, why do you like causing so much trouble for me, huh?”

“I’m s-sorry, sir, I just---I--”

“I take my eyes off of you for a few minutes and some guy already has his hands on your ass? Dirty slut.”

Seungcheol smirks when he sees your mouth opening in a silent moan, legs already spreading on their own as he makes his way towards you. You could feel the air shift; already knowing the mood he was trying to set. “Fuck, look at you. Already spreading your legs so I can fuck you. Just like a good ‘lil slut should.”

“Ye--yes, please si--sir, fuck me, please!”

He pries your legs apart even further, slotting himself between them as his hands slowly start to push the material of your dress higher and higher until it bunches up around your waist. “Soaking your panties already too? You’re so goddamn easy.”

From your view, the camera can’t see much. But at this point, you don’t even care. “Please, please…” You whine; already squirming underneath him.

Seungcheol undoes the button and zipper of his pants, tugging his underwear down with it as he wraps a hand around his already hard cock.

“Do I need to prep your tight ‘lil cunt or is it wet enough for me already?”

You shakily reach your free hand down, sliding your panties to the side before running your fingertips through the  wetness. “I’m--I’m wet enough, sir…” He pushes your hand away, grinning at you before he tears the material right off of your body.

“S--Sir!!”

Seungcheol laughs under his breath, tapping the head of his cock against your clit a few times before he drags it through your wetness and positions himself at your entrance. He gives you a second before he starts sinking his cock in, this time bottoming out in a single thrust when he meets no resistance. “Fuck, you really are soaking, you little slut.” You let out a garbled moan, barely remembering the phone in your hand as Seungcheol starts thrusting into you at a moderate pace.

You keep your legs spread to the best of your ability, soft whines spilling from your lips when the head of his cock grazes your cervix. “God, sir, you’re s-so fucking big, it--I’m so fuh--full…!” He leans in, plucking the phone from your hands as he turns the camera to face you instead.

“Look at her. My perfect ‘lil slut taking my cock so well. Don’t you think I should give her more?” His eyes twinkle with mischief as he brings his free hand towards his lips; licking the digits until they’re well coated in his saliva. “Do you think you deserve my fingers too? Or is that ‘lil cunt of yours too full?”

“N-no, please I--I want your fingers too, god, I--I want them in my pussy with y-your cock!”

Seungcheol doesn’t say another word; instead, he angles the camera right up to your pussy as he brings his wet digits closer, pausing his thrusts as he slowly sinks in a finger next to his cock. “Oh---oh fuck, yes!” You scream, clenching around his cock and finger. He clenches his jaw, because as much as he’d to sink more of his fingers into you, he knew that you still had to get used to the feeling at first.

And it takes a few tense moments and harsh breaths before Seungcheol resumes his pace. “Pleeeese~” You whine, tears blurring your vision when you look up at him and he makes sure to catch it on camera.

“Please what, baby?”

“P--please, put more of your fingers…”

He takes this as a sign that you’re okay; sinking in another digit as you let out a choked moan. “Oh my god, oh my g-god…! Ngh, h-hah, ‘m so f--full, it feels so good~” You sob. Seungcheol’s throat feels dry as he watches through the phone screen how your pussy looks impossibly stretched around his cock and fingers.

“Look at her tight cunt. Fuck, I can’t even fit another finger in her pussy... Surely, this is enough for you to cum though, hmm?” He quips, thrusting into you until your words become a jumbled mix of sounds.

“Guess I fucked her stupid too, huh?”

He keeps his fingers parallel to his cock, sinking them deeper and deeper until he’s knuckle deep. “Fuck, I can feel you getting tight around me. Go ahead and cum, slut.”

It only takes a few more thrusts before you do cum; walls fluttering around Seungcheol as he fucks you through your orgasm. Your mouth can only open in a silent scream, toes curling in your heels when your mind goes blank as the pleasure washes over you. You feel your body buzzing, fingers going numb at the way Seungcheol keeps slamming into your cervix.

Seungcheol grits his teeth, doubling his pace in the midst of your orgasm. “Her pussy keeps sucking me in… Guess she wants me to cum inside her too?”

“Mmh… sir, p--please cum inside me…” You mumble, already slowly starting to come down from your high. “Want you to fill me up this time…”

And this time, Seungcheol does; grinding against you as he finally cums too. “Fuck, take all of it, baby!” He growls, fucking his cum deeper into you as he rides out his high. His head feels fuzzy; both off of the alcohol and adrenaline coursing through his veins.

“Mmh, ‘m so full of y-your cock and c-cum, sir…”

A shudder rolls down Seungcheol’s body when he starts to come down from his high; slowly easing his fingers out of you before he pulls out completely.

He brings his phone down to your pussy, filming the cum that trickles down to the sofa underneath you.

“Look at her pussy full of my cum. D’you think it’s enough to get her pregnant?” The words spill out of Seungcheol’s mouth quicker than he can think and you let out a shaky breath at his words, unintentionally pushing his cum out as he continues to film. “Or should I keep cumming in her and filling her up? Fuck my cum deeper into her pussy so I know she’ll get nice and pregnant.” He ends in a chuckle as he pans the camera up to your face; catching the way you bite your lip and the way your eyes glaze over in complete lust despite how tired you were.

“What do you think, babygirl?”

“I---I think… I think s-sir needs to---to keep filling me up with his c-cum…”

“Right answer, babygirl.”

[vydante]

Restart | END | Avengers x Male! Reader

I am discontinuing my Restart series because I've simply lost creative juices for it. That's it, no elaborate or other reason. Anyways, I didn't want to just end it on the last chapter, and as someone who loves to overshare (especially if it's unsolicited), I thought some might like to see what drafts I had in plan, going chapter by chapter.

It goes up to Ch. 20 with additional bonus chapters, and chapters where I wasn't sure where they were going to be placed in the timeline.

If you have any comments, let me know! I'd love to read them :)

Here goes! Warning: very long, since the formatting is weird! The reader will be referred to as (Name) and "you", as in the story.

Right after Ch. 12 (Circumvention), are 2 special chapters (High Caliber Bullet) & (America's Sweethearts).

(High Caliber Bullet)'s basic plot was that Barnes, now # amount of weeks since the last chapter, has gained some freedoms and can now go out and about with either (Name) or DAHLIA for supervision (via his phone, and through the cameras everywhere).

In this particular chapter, he basically goes out for a typical grocery run with DAHLIA "accompanying" him, since before, he remembers (Name) telling him that "I won't always be there with you". But something bad happens! Wooo! (Maybe an attempted robbery, I didn't have the details sorted out yet.)

Either way, DAHLIA loses contact with him, and she tries to contact you ASAP, but it takes a little while since your dumbass was asleep the whole time! Wow! The suit had to manually power on and shake you awake.

Anyways, the only thing I had "written down" after that was that, after a failed search attempt for James, you go back home and are greeted with a surprise... "Kabedon"? Or, you're pinned to the walls by James... Or, rather, the Winter Soldier! 

You're not sure what's going on, only that, "Wow, Barnes is acting weird. Why is he suddenly Russian? Wh- Okay, wow, he's suddenly gotten a lot closer. Now, wait a fuckin' minute-!"

Either way, you and James make a discovery of a second personality living inside his body- the Soldier! Or Winter, I'm still unsure which I would have gone for. If you're familiar with certain WinterIron tropes, this is one of them. Anyways, that's the end of that chapter, or what I had written so far, anyway.

This chapter is really important to the canon of Restart since it establishes Soldier, but it didn't fit into my initial plans of 10 chapters an arc, so. That's why it's a "special" chapter.

The next "special" chapter after that was (America's Sweethearts). I had written 2 "chunks" of text for this chapter. The main plot is, basically, you and Steve spent a platonic (promise!) Valentine's Day together. Hence the title. Cute, right? This was referenced in Ch. 9 (Revelation) during Future! Steve's reminiscing.

Anyways, below the next text is what I had written for that chapter. It will be in normal text.

No other thoughts on that, so let's move on.

"You live like this?"

In his defense, Steve's apartment wasn't messy in the slightest. In fact, it was the other way around- everything was too clean, too pristine, too detached. The only saving grace he's getting from standing in the middle of his apartment is the fact that compared to the chilly Brooklyn weather, it was almost obnoxiously warm in his apartment. 

Not only did he have the heater going on, but he had another separate, portable heater blasting hot air in the corner.

(Sometimes, and only sometimes, Steve will stand in front of the heater and slowly spin around like a rotisserie chicken. The heat feels good, in his defense.)

The heat was something that you, thankfully, didn't comment on as you shed your jacket and slung it around the coat hanger near the door. You're wearing an over-sized tee- Thor's tee, he absentmindedly notes- and some sweats, both like and unlike the (Name) he often sees.

(It's not uncommon for Steve to glance at a newspaper or TV still shot and see you with your hair slicked back and dressed head to toe in a suit so expensive he's confident it costs at least a few years' worths of a typical New Yorker's rent.

Neither is uncommon to see you on the front cover of Men's Magazine, wearing a simple tee that shouldn't look that good on you but still does and posing confidently for the camera.

But despite all that, all of the clearly flattering outfits you could possibly wear at the tips of your fingers, often Steve will see you wear a disparagingly obnoxious, dirty shirt, and an old pair of sweats as your go-to outfit.)

(No, he will never admit that he really likes seeing you like that. Even with the mysterious smudged substance often found on the bottom of your sweats, as if you had swing danced in mud and crude oil.)

Regardless, while he often questions your private life fashion choices (and this is coming from a man who willingly wears khakis), he at least knows why you're wearing what you are, given the fact that he's also dressed in an overused tee and some joggers.

"What's wrong with my apartment? Not up to par with your penthouse standards?" Steve jests.

"Steve. Please." You threw him an unimpressed glare, much to Steve's never-ending amusement.

You glanced back to the inside of the apartment and squinted at it with what Steve could only describe as a rich man's scrutinizing gaze, before shrugging nonchalantly. You strolled into his apartment with a confidence Steve can still never get used to, one that reminds him so much of Tony's, and even Howard on his bad days.

(He understands why Tony doesn't like it when he brings Howard up, as he belatedly realizes that Howard didn't die the same man he knew him as, but he never understood why you've suddenly gotten bitter about Howard as well.)

He follows you into the hallway, and if it weren't for the fact that this was his apartment, he would've looked like a lost puppy following its new owner.

His apartment's not really that big, so it doesn't take long before you've both reached the living room. A simple TV, simple couch, simple table. Nothing really exciting in his living room, but it serves its purposes, in Steve's opinion.

(This is the end of that chunk. Next is where I picked up in writing. Short time skip, they both fall asleep and now Steve's waking up.)

It was the change in the smell that woke him up.

It's always the scent of fresh linen that greeted him early in the morning, something that's become so attuned to his everyday life. So when, instead, popcorn and sweets drifts his way, for a brief second his heart rate jumps.

'What?', his mind asks as he opens his eyes, bleary but cautious.

'Oh,' his mind responds back at him when his eyes drift down to your sleeping form laying splayed right on top of him, body glued to his side. You're mainly hogging the blanket, but he doesn't really mind as he runs hot 24/7. 

'Oh', his mind repeats softly, as something deep unfurls from his stomach and rises to his throat, clenching up and unable to say anything as his eyes fixate themselves on your steady breathing. Your lips are too close to his neck, each breath too warm, even for him. His skin burns where it meets yours, and absently he thinks, 'this is nice'.

'Yeah,' he lifts his hand to brush away a strand of hair away from your eyes, 'This is nice.'

Steve blearily throws a glance at the clock on his nightstand. 4 more minutes until he'd typically wake up and start his day with a morning jog.

'No,' his body protests.

'Okay,' his mind agrees without a fight.

He carefully reaches over and presses the silence button on his alarm. Above him, a breathy exhale escapes your lips at the sudden movement, and if possible, you curl closer to him than you were before. He pauses, unsure if you're going to wake up or not, but relax when he realizes that you're still in a deep slumber.

(Another break. Next sentence was supposed to be the final sentence of the chapter.)

In the end, neither of you commented about how Steve had missed his daily morning run as his limbs were straddled in between yours.

Ch. 13 (Upheaval) and 14 (Airlocked) are short in terms of drafting, so I'll combine them into one section here. Ch. 13 (Upheaval) was about taking down SHIELDRA in a better manner than the mess that was CA:TWS. And (Name) also forces Steve and Natasha to fess up immediately about Tony's parent's murderer. ((Name) threatens them.)

As for Ch. 14 (Airlocked), it's pretty much a filler chapter of sorts. (Name) graduates, there's now an official class-action lawsuit against Ross, also now keeping an eye on Baron Zemo, and we see some progression on Barne's therapy session. Not much, but some.

I really was not looking forward to these two chapters, as I knew they were gonna be boring as hell.

Ch. 15 (Spiralling) has actual written chunks. It's basically about the early prevention of Ultron. The Avengers go to a Sokovian HYDRA base, take out baddies, and the Super Twins get captured first- wow! But not before Wanda does... something to (Name), causing you to hallucinate and lose contact with the team- uh oh!

But don't worry! You get run over by a car. Lol. Below is what I had written for it, sans minor text.

A/N: In Ch. 7 (Summer), there was a 'dream-sequence' that happened where (Name) was on Titan with Tony, Peter, Stephen, and the GOTG. I've now decided that in canon, (Name) was not on Titan- instead, you were on Earth instead during IW helping at Wakanda. Just a brief plot-hole wrap-up; let's imply that (Name) had watched video footage of the fight at Titan via Tony's suit afterward, and that's where the nightmare came from. Okay bye.

(VERY abrupt start into the story, not meant to be the start of the chapter in the final draft, just where I wanted to start writing. Intro to Wanda.)

You jerked your head, catching a glimpse of brunette hair in the corner of your eyes. You swung your gauntlet instinctively and made instant contact with whatever was next to you. Flutters of red wisps followed your eyes, and you instantly knew what just happened as a body dropped next to you. 

You grunted and leaned onto the nearest wall, watching the girl's limp body with caution. Your shoulder plate lifted, and a tranquilizing dart connected to her thigh.

Just in case.

"Guys, I- I've been- ugh..." You wanted to vomit, the pounding in your head worsening with each millisecond that passes. Already, your surroundings distort you with each blink, walls melting and the floor sinking in on itself. "I've been- com-," you swallowed back your bile, "-compromised... Sending- location... Ergh..."

You didn't even have enough time to hear a response before the whole world around you shifted. You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to calm your thundering heartbeat. The pounding got worse as the armor around you dissipated into nothing but the under-suit you were wearing. Before, where there were the shouting and gunshots, is now replaced with an eerie silence filled with just your laborious breathing.

You didn't know the full extent of what visions you were about to see, but you needed to remember that none of this is real. Scientifically, that was your only safe haven from possibly losing your mind for what's about to come. And it was worse because you had no idea what visions you'd see. Would you see Thanos? The Chitauri, just like your father once had? Or would it be something more close to home; the bunker? Tony's dead body, splayed with vomit around him, frostbitten to the touch and still like a marbled statue? 

Ready to go up and arms at whatever it was you're about to see, you cautiously opened your eyes.

(Line break, there's meant to be an "oh shit" line, like "Only, you were met with eyes far too similar to yours." but I still didn't know what I wanted to do for the hallucination sequence. Maybe meeting an older you, a younger you, or your dream life without the Avengers or meta-humans.)

(Below is an abrupt shift in the story; same general setting, but outside POV! What I had was dialogue only, alternating between people in bold, as a POV switch.)

(Name) "Guys, I- I've been- ugh... I've been- com-compromised... Sending- location... Ergh..." 

(Steve) "Apex, do you copy? (Name)!" 

(Steve) "Shit, (Name) isn't answering! Tony!"

(Tony) "Got his location, he's inside the base. J.A.R.V.I.S., what's his status?" 

(J.A.R.V.I.S.) "I'm sorry, Sir, but it appears that I am not in contact with his suit." 

(Tony) "Wha- the hell do you mean you're not in contact?!" 

(J.A.R.V.I.S.) "I cannot connect to his suit; it appears that Young Sir has somehow deprogrammed me from his suit." 

(Tony) "Wha-!" 

(J.A.R.V.I.S.) "However, it seems as if there is an A.I. present nonetheless. Though..." 

(J.A.R.V.I.S.) "I do not recognize the code. Would you like me to attempt at forming a mode of communication?" 

(Tony) "Yeah, just- God, make sure (Name)'s okay, please." 

(J.A.R.V.I.S.) "On it." 

(J.A.R.V.I.S.) "Establishing a connection." 

(DAHLIA) "Mister Stark?"

(Tony) "Wha- I'm sorry- who are you?"

(DAHLIA), ignoring Tony, "An enhanced got to (Name). The operative is down, but (Name)'s experiencing hallucinations. I can't get through to him- you need to get to him, now. I fear he may hurt himself more than he already has."

(DAHLIA) "And if I may be privy to a request?"

(Tony) "What?"

(DAHLIA) "Don't bring Rogers." (I don't remember why I wrote this bit.)

(Steve) "Any updates on (Name)?"

(Tony) "Yep, and by the looks of it," there was a loud boom coming from the base, and as Tony looked up to see an all too familiar suit fly out of the building. Or, rather, flying was an interesting way to put it- it was more of a free-falling more than anything else.

(Steve) "What was that?"

(Tony) "That was (Name), and he's not havin' a great time I'll tell you that."

His voice was light and joking, but he'd be lying if he didn't say that his heart wasn't in his throat by the sight of you flying out of the building and falling back into the forests.

(Line break, another POV switch)

Steve sprinted towards the loud boom, movements quick and calculated, but mind racing a thousand miles an hour. He saw a red and gold glint fly up above him, zipping in and out between trees gracefully. 

(Line break, but no switch, same place. Another story POV shift, sort of. Steve makes contact with (Name), or so he thinks.)

"(Name)? Hey, do you copy?"

The suit was eerily silent, glowing eyes that once gave comfort to the soldier now bringing nothing but an awful, gripping dread; one that he'd get when there were Nazi soldiers nearby, but he couldn't tell where even with his enhanced senses. The suit gave away nothing that usually screamed out everything that was you- no head swaying, no restless and constantly shifting feet, only a stillness that looked so unnatural. Almost as if there was no one in there.

"(Name)?"

There was no response from you.

The hairs on Steve's neck stood up, everything in his system suddenly screaming to get out of there, run, leave, get away from the suit, but he ignored it as he took a cautious step forward.

Again, you didn't seem to react.

Then, the suit took a step forward.

Then another one.

And another one.

"(Name)-"

Before he could say anything more, the suit lunged forward. Only for a moment could Steve react, but even he wasn't as fast as you could be when you're in the suit. He raised his shield, ready to be shot at, but only the sound of harsh metal on metal makes it to his ears. By the sounds of it, it sounded like Tony had managed to land a direct hit on you, from wherever position he was at. Cautiously, Steve lowers his shield to look.

But instead of the familiar red and gold suit of armor greeting him, it's the sight of two (color) suits wrestling on the ground with each other that manages to sucker-punch all air from his lungs.

(Basically, you went bat shit insane and got out of the older suit, then prematurely activating the nano suit instead, in a fit of panicked hallucination. The older suit, now operating by DAHLIA, was trying to protect Steve from being ambushed by (Name), and now they're wrestling.)

(Another big break, but I think I had a hallucination sequence from (Name)'s POV planned here. Not sure what I was gonna do here since I planned this like, maybe in 2018, early 2019. It's... 2021 now...)

"-(Name)!"

Your eyes widened as the world around you suddenly shifts out of existence, and instead, you're outside in the dim, snowy alps once again. Someone called out to you, you don't know who, but there's a light in the corner of your eyes that's so goddamn bright. You turn your head in the direction of the light, and amidst all of the yelling and gunshots, DAHLIA's cool, chilling voice rings the loudest in your ear.

"Aborting protoc-"

And then the world turned black.

Ch. 16 (Enflamed) also has written text. Basically, you're recovering from being caught slipping by a car, the team is now aware of certain secrets you've been keeping behind their backs, and you realize that you have to get back to Barnes to let him know you're okay.

This chapter was meant to be focused on the twins, but I guess I forgot that as I was "writing" it. Basically, the gist was that their parent's deaths weren't by officially licensed Stark tech (maybe even a counterfeit since Stark weapons are the best, and don't malfunction as it did in WandaVision ep. 8). Maybe HYDRA was the one that did it in order to recruit more people. Or something like that. Basically, Tony wasn't the one who authorized those weapons to be sold and used there, but it was Stane. Either way, they get their own healthy moment to mourn and lament over it all.

Here's the text below. Italics for a dream sequence, since you were unconscious/ in a coma from being bOnked on by a car.

"Hey, sweetheart."

You smile, turning around to face the voice only to be greeted with lips on yours. You chuckle, amused that this was the first thing you'd be greeted with, but lean into the kiss anyways as you wrapped your fingers around their cheek.

They pull back first, but their eyes are warm as they smile, lingering in the space between the two of you. Where their hands laid on your hips, your skin burned bright hot, but you paid no mind to it. 

(There's supposed to be more, maybe foreshadowing, but I stopped here in terms of the dream sequence. Jump cut to another POV, but you're waking up!)

(Name) "Hnng..."

(Steve) "Stay down! You're in no condition to move at all, just- just rest, okay? The doctors- and- your dad are coming."

(Steve) "How're you feeling? You want some water?"

You tried to turn your head to look at the blonde but hissed suddenly.

(Name) "S'nnof'a' b'ch..." (Son of a bitch.)

Steve helped you settle back onto your pillow- which even he'll admit doesn't look like the most comfortable setting in the world.

"Language, (Name)..."

He reprimanded, but there's no heat in his words as he's just so thankful that you're even capable of forming any words, no matter how profane they may be.

Beside him, Clint laughs a bit too loud for comfort. Steve wants to tell him to be quiet, as he's sure you're sensitive to noise right now, but God he can't blame the archer for his overwhelming relief. 

Lord knows Clint wasn't the only one to stress over their youngest Avenger.

"First words after a damn coma, and it's 'son of a bitch'! I told you he's a fighter!"

"Of course he is, he's a Stark after all."

All eyes turn to see the billionaire and assassin walk into the room. They look clean and pristine as always, but by the slight sheen of sweat on both of them, Steve knew they rushed here as soon as word spread that you were awake.

(Natasha) "Tooting your own horn a little much there?"

Natasha's smile betrays her words as she looks fondly from the senior Stark to the junior. Even the ironclad wall she has up 24/7 has a soft spot for the team's junior member.

(Especially for the junior member, but you didn't hear that from Steve.)

(Tony) "It's both of our horns, excuse you."

Tony turns his attention to you and places a gentle hand on your shoulder.

"You sure took a hit back there, champ."

"Mmm... 'm feel like a... Nn... A damn Make A W'sh kid...", (Mm, am feeling like a damn Make A Wish kid...) your eyes, though blown out from still being drugged up, wandered across each Avenger. You frowned, then smirked- well, as best as you could, anyways. 

"Where's th' Hul'k? T'or?" (Where's the Hulk? Thor? (As a joke, since usually the whole gang visits, but they're missing))

"Relax junior, you're not that special. We can only afford so many Avengers to visit you."

Despite his harsh words, Tony places a kiss right on your forehead. Your eyes flutter closed, lashes delicately batting as Tony leans away.

(Big block of nothing, there were supposed to be more text here, more dialogue or something. Same setting!)

(Tony) "So. We need to talk about what happened back there. Y'know. The brand-smackin' new A.I. that's in your suit- she's been awfully quiet. Oh, and the- lord, the thing's a work of art- the- what is it? Nanite suit? That's in a collar- a collar? I mean, I'm not one to judge questionable fashion statements, but-"

(Steve, or someone else) "Tony."

(Tony) "Right- but, we are going to talk about all that, okay?"

"L'ter, ple's? Am tir'd..." (Later, please? Am tired.)

"An' b'sides, chok'r's fun..." (And besides, chokers are fun.)

(Line break, basically, you remember you have a certain Winter Soldier that's been sitting at home without any word from you.)

’Oh fuck.’

(Big line break, basically, you get discharged from the hospital, and now you visit the safehouse Barnes is in to check up on him.)

It was eerily quiet when you opened the door to the safe house. You limped into the door, thankful that the ride on the way back, there were no paparazzi to see you leave at all. (Really, Happy should get a raise.) Lord knows how much of a rile that'll get out of the news media.

'Avengers' Golden Boy: Fatally Injured?' or something dumb like that.

You'd love to roll your eyes, but the tension that's coiling up in your gut surpasses the want as you slowly step into the house. It's warm, more so than the slow brewing chill that's been tempering outside. James never liked the cold, but even so, the house was warmer than you remembered. His shoes are still near the doorway, in the exact place that you remembered it to be, so he definitely hasn't gone anywhere.

(Though, the alerts that were on your phone from DAHLIA definitely show that he wanted to.)

For a brief moment, you were concerned that there wasn't enough food; but even then, DAHLIA would still be up, so she could place an online order to refill the fridge at a moment's notice, so it's not like James (even with his super-soldiered appetite) would starve himself here.

You quietly slipped out of your shoes, slowly as to not incur another cramp in your back, and stepped into the hallway barefooted. You glance into each room you pass by, but not a single sign of the soldier was anywhere to be found.

You stopped when you stood in front of one specific lounge room; yours and James' favorite lounge room.

Lurking into the room, you glanced around.

The room looked exactly like how it did days before when you were still conscious. There are a few mugs strewn about. Most empty, conjoined in one area of the table (James' area), but there's one that's filled with your favorite drink. A drink that you don't remember making for yourself.

And it's placed right in front of your favorite chair, too. Something squeezes at your heartstrings as you couldn't help but smile fondly.

It's gone cold, you absently note as you dip a finger into it. Wiping your finger on your pants, you grabbed it and the rest of the empty cups, making a note to place them into the dishwasher when you make it into the kitchen.

"James?"

You called out, but only your voice echoed back. The cups quietly rattled with each step, and it's not long before you make it into the kitchen. It, too, looks the same, but there's a thin layer of dust only a clean freak would notice. The sink is empty and clear of any beads of water. Unused for a little bit, you concluded.

Yeesh.

You placed all of the cups into the dishwasher, which was also dry and empty as well. Sighing, you turned on the machine and jumped out of your skin when you felt a pair of built arms wrap themselves around you tightly.

It only takes a split second for you to realize that, no, this is not some ax murderer that's about to choke the life out of you, it's just James.

James who, apparently, is holding you flush against his chest, fingers curling themselves against your bandaged abdomen. You held back a wince of pain, careful not to make your breathing waver, as James nuzzle his whole head against the crook of your neck. 

(Honestly, for someone named the Winter Soldier, he sure is warm because whew, boy-)

"Ja-"

"I thought you were gone."

His name is caught in your throat as James' voice- gritty, deep, unused- rumbles into your skin. You freeze, unsure of what to say to that as you shuddered, suddenly breathless as he mouths at your neck. Your ears turn bright red as he takes that moment to speak up, not once letting up on his fingers ghosting a trail on each muscle on your abdomen.

"You were gone. One second you were in my arms, and the next... The next, DAHLIA's tellin' me you're in a damn coma."

You winced, not sure how to respond to both what he said or the growl that accompanied it. You looked up at the camera that was in a nearby corner and threw it a withering glance, feeling slightly betrayed by DAHLIA for telling James that.

Thankfully (or probably not), James isn't really looking for a response as he continues on.

"Моя звездная пыль (My stardust)," Russian slips out, bringing a chill up your spine as bits of Winter spills out from James' fingertips, "The witch got to you, didn't she?"

Goosebumps raised on your skin, and to your silence, James snarled. You can barely feel his teeth graze on your nape, and you really don't know if you should feel embarrassed or something else.

And wow, okay, maybe you should tell James to ease up on the "hug", because holy shit, his grip's getting tighter and it's starting to actually hurt.

(Ah, he might tear the stitches.)

"HYDRA сукa...! Я убью ее...!" (HYDRA bitch...! I'll kill her...!)

You huffed, still red in the face as he hasn't even nudged away from letting you go. You patted his forearm, signaling for him to loosen up his grip, and to his credit, he does. Barely, but it was still something. 

"I dunno what ya' just said in Russian, but I know what Hydra сукa means. No cussing in Russian, only in English."

He mumbles something incoherent into your shoulder, rubbing circles into your stomach with a tantalizingly slow speed. You coughed; in literally any other situation this would be one of the hottest things you've ever experienced, but considering that James was more Winter than James right now, and your stomach is literally burning in pain from the rubbing, you opted to ignore the fact that you really liked that James was this close and spoke up.

"Not to alarm you or anything, but uh, if you keep rubbing my stomach like that," your breath hitched, the pain starting to become a little too much, "I'm gonna pass out from the pain," you said, with clenched teeth.

(End of what I had written down. Anyways, not sure where I was gonna go from here.)

Ch. 17-20 are relatively short in terms of what I had written down.

Ch. 17 (Reconditioning) has 3 things typed down:

integrating the twins, thoughts of integrating bucky

supreme distrust between you and the twins

meanwhile maybe thoughts from twins abt you? you're around their age 

3rd bullet introduces the idea that they might be love interests. Maybe. Shrugs. That chapter would be heavier on the character developments of the twins, both as their own persons and their relationship with you, specifically. They don't like you because you're Tony's son, still some bitter feelings there, and you don't like them because... Well... there's just a lot of bad feelings. They helped kill J.A.R.V.I.S. in your original timeline. Wanda basically fucked off with Vision. She antagonized Tony. (And there is a hypocrisy there since I would've written you to have done the same thing there. (Name) isn't perfect.)

You just didn't get along with Pietro since, back when he wasn't dead, you were immature and not yet accustomed to dealing with people who're purposefully frustrating/ teasing/ mocking/ etc. Nothing really personal with him, it's Wanda that you had beef with. But you'll get over it one day.

Ch. 18 (Longstanding) is shorter.

you and james have a talk, and after a year or two being solitary, you agree that he should be in the avengers

he joins the avengers

That's it, that's the chapter.

Ch. 19 (Accountability) deals with newer Accords (not a Sokovian one! Just from the proposed need for accountability).

It goes better around this time, as basically all of the Avengers agree to it, with their own caveats of course. Steve especially, but of course, he's willing to work with the governments about it this time around. Also, Peter Parker gets introduced, in accordance with the "underaged enhanced/ superheroes" clause, or some bull like that.

Ch. 20 (Wakanda) is basically the intro to CA:CW but like, civilized. No bombing since Zemo still has his family. Introduces Wakanda, and T'Challa as a potential love interest. If you're interested in IronPanther, I highly recommend reading the IronPanther Collection by Okyverlo on AO3. It's great and got me a lot of interest in T'Challa as a love interest.

As for official chapters with the plot, that's about it. I wasn't sure what to do afterward.

There were some loose ideas I had about what would happen to (Name). Maybe the truth is revealed, that you're actually from the future, and Dr. Strange separates past and future you into two separate bodies. Future! you into your original future body, and past! you into the current body. Past! you still have the same memories and thoughts that future! you had, but with less angst. Future! you is noticeably more depressed and just a bummer. Lol.

And after that, 2023! you would go back to the future where you belonged, and Past! you would stay in the present since, duh, that's still Past! you's original timeline. It's a little confusing when I type it down haha.

I was thinking maybe 2023! you would pair up with Steve since you realized how burdensome it is to continue to resent someone. Now you understood what Tony meant.

And Past! you would definitely pair up with James, but maybe Steve too. A nice lil' polygamous relationship. 

Now here's the other, non-official chapters.

2 What If's, and 3 Specials, in the order they're listed at the moment.

What If (2013 Counterpart) plays with an initial idea I had, where Past! (Name) was actually sent into the future into 2023! (Name)'s body during the prologue. Not sure where I was gonna go with this chapter, but I really wanted to mess with that possibility, and show just how immature and teenager-y Past! you were.

What If (Swapped Places) plays with the idea that you and Tony, in the original timeline, had swapped places. You were on Titan with Spiderman, Dr. Strange, and the GOTG, while Tony was on Earth with everyone else. That's all I had planned. Maybe you actually won and managed to get the gauntlet off of Thanos when you realized that Peter Quill was about to go crazy over his ex's death, and you knocked him down in time.

Special (Find My Body, Only At The Oak Tree), deals with you and your depression over the reality that you might have to relive the blip again, and aside from the Avengers, you really don't have anyone else and nothing's worth really living for at this point. I actually have a lot written for this one. Not sure if I wanted this to be canon.

Trigger warning: suicidal tendencies.

(Below is the general idea I had for the plot.)

(names) birthdays across the years so far

we see slow mental deterioration of (name) as he aches

we see as we reach closer and closer to the deadline, (name) dreads even thinking about thanos and wants to die before even looking at him, a symbol of their failure 

lowkey highkey suicidal

___

The first time you celebrated your 17th birthday was in 2014. 

The second time you celebrated your 17th birthday was also in 2014... Obviously. 

The first time you celebrated your 17th birthday, the whole tower was flooded with people who you knew and people who you couldn't care to know. It was filled with what little was left of your friend group outside of the Avengers; it was also filled with the rich, the pompous, the irritating of New York.

You got into a yelling match with your dad that night, over something you couldn't even bother to remember, and stormed off into your room, fuming as the party still went on without their birthday boy present.

(It's always like that as if you're replaceable. Surely, you must be; the Avengers can and will, if need be, exist without you.)

The second time you celebrated your 17th birthday, you told your dad you wanted it to be small and personal. Only the Avengers were there, as a few days ago did you spend a pre-birthday celebration with some of your high school 'friends' (which only mainly consisted of playing Smash Bros Brawl in your room and eating an ungodly amount of junk food as you fake laughed along with their shitty jokes.) (Steve promptly made you burn those calories off in training.).

(What Steve doesn't know is that you purposefully ate that much to train with him; otherwise, you had the whole day off the next day.

You didn't want to be alone.)

It was sweet as everyone gave their gifts to you (which you already knew what it was, but said nothing of it), and as everyone got drunk off of the expensive liquor or Asgardian mead, you quietly snuck out of the building and back into the safe house where James was waiting for you.

(He waits, but how much of it is because he has no other choice?

It is not like that, you keep reminding yourself.

Who is to say, other than you?

James never says anything of it, and you start to wonder if he feels as if he has no choice.

As if he feels like he's been made another prisoner, once again.

At what point, what is separating the distinction between you and HYDRA, in his mind?

You're not too keen on finding out the answer anytime soon.)

The whole way there, you thought of nothing in particular.

You quietly celebrated with him too, shared a few slices of cake he made just for you before you quietly said goodnight to him. He kissed you on the cheek, said a simple goodnight, and slipped away into his own bedroom.

Meanwhile, you spent the rest of the night drinking too much alcohol, alone, in the dark of your room, staring at nothing in particular, thinking about nothing in particular.

The next morning, you jokingly wished you had just died last night as you're bent over the toilet emptying your stomach contents.

___

The first time you celebrated your 18th birthday, you spent it outside in another country with your friends.

The second time you celebrated your 18th birthday party, you rented out a bumper kart arena with the Avengers.

The first time you celebrated your 18th birthday, you tried desperately to hang onto the remaining friends you had outside of the Avengers, a chance to feel normal for once. You practically went hiking across Europe and into Asia over the week of your birthday, and by God did you visit so many places. From the Louvre to the casinos in New Deli, you trekked everywhere with your friends and acted as a cash pig for their endeavors under the guise of celebrating your birthday. Least to say, you always got 'accidentally' blackout drunk on multiple occasions, oblivious to their actions.

Later you found out and cut them off instantly without another word. They didn't seem to notice that you stopped talking to them.

It hurt.

Pointless of you to try to maintain that friendship.

So on your next 18th birthday, having long forgone those friendships ages ago, you suggested going bumper karting with the Avengers. Bruce operated as the 'coach' of sorts, but he seemed to have enjoyed it as well. 

It was fun, obviously.

It went on for a few hours, as you all had made up mini-games to play along with as they got bored of chasing after each other aimlessly for half an hour. A few games had you pairing up with some of the Avengers; the other had them actually using their skills to try to maim each other.

(Wanda at one point lifted everyone into the air as Pietro zoomed through the rink; though, he did slip and slam into the wall. Everyone laughed, but it was interrupted as Wanda promptly dropped everyone out of shock.

Everyone was too busy in their own shock as well to notice your labored breathes, wild crazed eyes, or how you clawed viciously at your throat at the sight of Wanda's red wisps. Your fingers were tinted a sick vermilion.

Thankfully, the arena was relatively dim, so no one could tell what just happened.)

It was fun. Everyone didn't hold their shoves back, and when things riled up, it turned into who would break a bone first. No one did, but everyone was definitely sore afterward. Of course, the enhanced ones didn't limp as much, but it made your limp nothing out of the ordinary.

(You tried your most damn not to just collapse completely, both exhaustion and pain threatening to snap your spine into little bits and pieces.

You jokingly wished it did.)

Thankfully, during the whole ordeal, no one noticed how you didn't avoid obvious hits, instead opting to just get harshly jostled in your kart and neck snapped haphazardly to the side at the sudden jolt. Or how you 'accidentally' keep forgetting to put on your seat belt or keep your fingers inside the kart.

Or at least, if they noticed, no one said anything as you limped around the tower the next day, bruises marred everywhere on your skin, a sheen of sweat blanketed on your skin throughout the whole day.

___

The first time you celebrated your 19th birthday, you were too swamped with both college and SI to actually... Celebrate.

You didn't even realize it was your birthday. No one did, actually; it took one of your professors to comment on how your name was trending on Twitter to actually get you to realize what the day was.

But even that didn't change your schedule, and as you moved on with your day, so did Twitter and the Avengers. 

You never got to celebrate your 19th birthday, too swamped with other things to care.

The second time you celebrated your 19th birthday, you had too much free time in the world.

It ended up being just like your 17th. The Avengers had a little get-together (they remembered this time; what made it so different?) and all of them got drunk wildly off their asses. Once again, you slipped away from the main lounge, and stalked silently, blank-faced, towards a balcony.

You adjusted your collar appropriately and stood there. You stared outside into the bustling busy streets of New York, the city that never sleeps.

(Strange, that it's named that when often times it's the quietest whenever you're there to see it.)

You spend maybe 10 minutes standing there, staring into the oblivion that is New York.

And then, you climbed onto the railings.

Standing there, there was no rush of adrenaline that coursed its way through your veins, nor was there any fear or dread.

Only an overwhelming and crippling exhaustion that made waves through your body. No longer are you in your 19-year-old body, but your 27th. No longer are you in your younger, former self; one that shone brightly above the others, aspiring as both a heroic figure and one that would help pave the way towards a better, peaceful world.

No, instead, your soul feels like it's settled deep into your bones, an aching tire that keeps rocking and rattling at your already fractured, beaten down body, laughing at how pathetic you look.

(You're so tired.

You just wanted to live normally.

You never can, you eventually come to realize on your first 24th birthday.

That thought, now fully realized, would come to permeate it's way deep into your bones.)

All you wanted to do was to just take one step forward, off of the railing that you're so delicately balanced upon, and dive into air headfirst.

Really, all it takes is just one step.

And truly, you've never felt more at peace as your body dropped from the railings, descended quickly towards the streets below you.

What should've been a quick few seconds of a dive felt like an eternity drowning in a bottomless pool. The lights of New York flashed and beamed at you, but it changed rapidly from one to another. Your throat closes, shuttering, and you want so desperately to start screaming.

Only, no one would hear them. 

The winds would carry away your screams, rushing a sound of its own that would overpower yours.

You wonder, absently, was this similar to what Rhodey felt that day? 

Well.

You'd never really find out, now, will you?

Too late to ask.

(There's no way to get back home.

You can never see Morgan again- the Morgan that called you her big Care Bear, the Morgan that cried and threw a temper tantrum because you forgot to give her a goodnight kiss. 

You can never see mom and dad again- while they're still here, it's just not the same. You'll never get to see the same Pepper who was so relieved just to see you alive after the Battle of Wakanda, even if you were practically on your death bed. You'll never get to see the same Tony who you spent hours crying into the shoulder of after the Blip.

You can never see the same Steve, Natasha, Rhodey, anyone, ever again. 

Years spent just trying to be better, to help the world, to mend and build any relationships you could, gone.

And even if they weren't?

There's just no way to get back home anymore. Not back to the person you used to be.)

The next day, you got an earful from your parents when photos of your falling body appear all over the internet. All the meanwhile, you're not really listening to them, just staring right back at them.

Odd.

('When did you start looking at me with contempt?', you'd ask one day.

Tony just stares at you, then out the window. In his hand, he's holding a cup of coffee; in yours, water. You've since stopped drinking anything remotely sugary, caffeinated, or alcoholic, though you've never told anyone why.

'When did you start mistaking concern with contempt.', he responded, though it was more of a statement rather than a question.

You stared at him, then followed his gaze out the window. 

Neither of you says anything, even as the hours go by in the blink of an eye.)

(That's all I had written down so far. Not sure where I wanted to go with this afterwards.)

Special (Vapidity, Testament To Absence) deals with future DAHLIA realizing what it means to mourn someone.

The house is empty.

It is an irrelevant thought, DAHLIA notes.

Technically speaking, the house has been empty quite often than not; after all, you were a busy man with an equally busy schedule. Being the CEO of SI and a huge contributing factor to the world's rebuilding made it more or less impossible for you to stay at home for long. Though, she also doesn't linger long in the house, either. But she's still there regardless, even if she's also with you on the other side of the planet for diplomatic reasons.

She knows of the emptiness inside this house; it was never an unfamiliar concept.

But with this emptiness, she's never once associated loneliness with it either. 

It's a bit better when Virginia occasionally comes around to the house to do some maintenance. She might even bring along little Morgan with her.

("You keep saying she's a pest, but I know I sure as hell ain't the one that keeps shifting the TV to the kids' channels when she's around," you comment, not even taking your eyes off of the pan. DAHLIA says nothing towards your accusations, instead opting to tell you that you're burning your eggs.

You aren't, but she says nothing amidst your panic.)

A few others occasionally visit, too, much to DAHLIA's internal disapproval.

Rogers used to visit every day ever since she first noted the emptiness. His behavior was also peculiar. He'd prowl around the house, pausing here and there at random parts of the house. He'd often just... Stand there, seemingly looking at nothing for a long period, before jolting back and continue what he was doing. She's thankful that he hasn't noted her silence when he's around.

Often Banner would come along too, and he'd be talking quietly with Rogers. As of recently, they've stopped visiting though. Probably because of the recent news (that (Name) might still be alive, just lost in time), DAHLIA almost bitterly notes.

James ("Just call him Rhodey- literally no one calls him James nowadays." you laugh, eyes crinkling with amusement) visits too. He doesn't linger for long, but he makes sure to check up on DAHLIA, help tend to the flowers... She'd even dare say she wishes he'd visit more often.

Peter also visits here and there as well. He often comes with Morgan and Virginia, but there have been a few occasions where he's come here by himself. He'd spend most of his time in the garden, your favorite place. And when he's alone, she'd given him privacy out of respect, but even at a long distance, she can hear him talking by himself. He'd come back eyes red and swollen, but he's always smiling afterward.

A few others have visited too, but not as often as the others. Though, none of that really helps negate the emptiness she feels as she wordlessly navigates through a routine she devoted herself to after your disappearance.

And the final chapter, Special (Chemically Compromised) is basically a fluff filler with (Name) chaperoning Peter's field trip, inspired by an Instagram post.

Written in bits and pieces, unfinished. Not sure if I wanted it to be romantic (the name implies it in a nerdy way) or just a fun, platonic, "dude you're literally embarrassing me" way.

(Peter) "I can't believe you're doing this...!"

(Name) "What? What's wrong with this?"

Pan to (Name) dressing like he's a Typical, Normal Civilian Man, but it's clearly (Name) Stark, son of Tony Stark, and an Avenger.

(Peter) "I don't need you to chaperone my field trip...! May could've done this-"

(Name) "No, she really couldn't, sweetheart. She's got a busy shift, and even told me that no one else's parents was free."

(Name) "Listen- this really could have gone worse if, say, Tony, knew. God knows Tony would've dropped everythin' and just embarrass ya- he did that shit to me every chance he got," Peter winces, almost forgetting that Tony was still your dad, and a chill ran up his spine as he imagined what it would have been like for you. 

(Peter) "But still..."

(Name) "Don't worry, I'll just wear a cap and sunglasses."

(Peter) "That can't possibly work."

(Name) "You'd be surprised- Sam's standin' down there, right near that phone booth."

Peter's head snapped over to where you were pointing at, and indeed, right on the floors of the Manhattan streets, there was a relatively built black guy that's wearing a cap, sunglasses, and a brown leather jacket. Peter tilted his head.

He hasn't been around Sam all that much, but he still knows what the Avenger looked like. But even then, he wasn't sure if that man was actually Sam. He's built right, but Peter can't see much of his hair or eyes. Plus, he's kind of far away.

He squinted at the man, before glancing back at you, now unsure of himself.

(Peter) "That's really the Falcon?"

You stared at him, before snorting.

(Name) "Nah, I'm joshin' ya, that's just some random guy...", you glance at the man, sniffing, "... Probably."

That's... pretty much it. That's all I had for Restart, as far as writing goes.

Now here are some closing thoughts, just to wrap all of this up nice and tight, sort of.

I'm not really happy with how the initial chapters were paced and how they were written. My writing style has mildly changed, and if I had the motivation to, I'd love to rewrite them. But alas, I don't.

I think about this story often; or at least, variations of it. It's like when you daydream, and you restart it but to the left. But unfortunately, writing a plot without too many plot holes while remaining as canonically correct as possible, and making it interesting without being a complete word-by-word remake of the movies, is difficult.

I'm not sure if I would ever pick up this story again, especially since this whole chapter told you what I had in store anyways. 

Thank you to those who took the time out of their day to write nice and encouraging comments about this story. It's unfortunate it had to end this way, but I'm glad it happened anyways. And hopefully, it's the same for you.

And remember: the one thing writers love to do is talk about their story! If you have any other comments, questions, or just general thoughts about the story, I'd love to discuss it further!

Anyways. If you're reading this now, thanks for sticking with Restart for as long as you did.

_____

Masterlist

_____

I know I had people on the tagged list, but it’s a bit hard to get them all as URL’s change, so I opted not to. Sorry!

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Do you have any fanficions that are very science-y, if that makes any sense? Like, focused on scientific things, in the writing style or actual experiments incorporated into the story itself? I hope I'm making sense

Hi Nonny!

Ahhh yeah, though a lot of the fics I read have it deep in the fic, lol. BUT!!!! Guess what?? Your ask is the lucky one that spawns a new list I’ve been waiting forever to post the next part for a tonne of new fics, LOL!

As always, gang, if you have a fic more tuned to what Nonny is ACTUALLY looking for, please add them here, LOL. Pt. 1 will have a lot more of what you’re looking for Nonny, since there’s a lot of my FFNet recs on that one, but both lists have great recs!! <3

IT’S AN EXPERIMENT! Pt. 3

See also:

It’s An Experiment!

It’s An Experiment! (Pt. 2)

The Perfect Place by SilverSmile (K+, 1,955 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Romance, 5 and Ones, Fluff, Experiments, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock attempts to find the perfect place to sleep, but his little experiment proves to be far more difficult than expected.

A Study in Lace by KarlyAnne (E, 2,320 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Crafty Sherlock, Tiny Lace Panties / Lingerie, Domestics, Experiments, Oral, Masturbation) – “Why do you suppose he was doing that?” “Why do I suppose who was doing what?” “The room. The lace. The secrecy. He was playing with fire in everything he did, and didn’t care one bit. But he had a secret chamber, carefully concealed, solely for the purpose of making lace lingerie. Obviously for personal use. Why?" Part 1 of The Unintentional Crafts of Sherlock Holmes

Insomnia by TheSingingGirl (K+, 2,635 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Humour, Bed Sharing, Sleepy Sherlock) – Sleep is merely the next frontier in what has become the battle to keep Sherlock alive. It's because of this that John ends up in bed with a sociopath.

Undercurrents by entanglednow (E, 2,996 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Disturbing Things, Crime Scene Fetish, Pseudo-Necrophilia, PWP, Masturbation) – “There, that's it, perfect, shut your eyes and don't move - and don't speak."

John's Missing Wednesday by PipMer (K+, 2,999 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-Slash, Pre-TSo3, Non-Con Drugged John, Friendship, Experiment) –  "Now John I'd poison. ... Sloppy eater – dead easy. I've given him chemicals and compounds that way, he's never even noticed. He missed a whole Wednesday once, didn't have a clue." – The Sign of Three. This is the story of that missing Wednesday.

Museums and Laboratories by RhododendronPonticum (T, 3,004 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Angst, Obsessive Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, Anxiety/Panic Attack, Separation Anxiety, Doctor John, Co-Dependent Sherlock) – If Sherlock's kitchen was his laboratory, then his bedroom was his museum.

Bathroom Accessories by Evenlodes_Friend (E, 3,324 w., 1 Ch. || Sex Toys, Butt Plug, First Kiss / Time, Romance, Horny Sherlock, John’s Patience Wears Thin, Humour, Bottomlock) – John discovers that Sherlock has been playing with some very adult toys in the bath.

After the Bombs by VampirePam (T, 3,337 w., 2 Ch. || THoB AU, Drugs, John’s PTSD, Panic Attack, Nightmares, Caring Sherlock, Cuddles, Bed Sharing, Angst, Hurt/Comfort) – In which the drugs Sherlock used to dose John trigger a severe episode of PTSD. When terrors old and new cause John to fall apart, Sherlock must rectify his mistake and pick up the pieces.

Experiment by Gwen's Blue Box (K+, 4,222 w., 3 Ch. || Non-Con Drugging, Hurt Comfort, Friendship) – Of course John has always known about his flatmate’s irregular sleeping habits, especially when they’re on a case. This time, however, the case is taking longer and longer, and soon John starts to worry. But there’s not much he can do, is there? Because drugging Sherlock isn’t an option. Not yet, maybe, but will it be soon? {{CW: John drugs Sherlock without his consent}}

Survival Strategies for the Domesticated British Butthole by Atiki (E, 6,183 w., 1 Ch. || Crack, Rimming, Anal Sex, Iced Lolly, Hair Removal, Depilation) – In which there’s a rimming disaster, Sherlock depilates his butt, everything goes very, very wrong and groceries are mistreated. This fic contains hair removal creme in a butthole, ice lollies in a butthole and John Watson's penis in a butthole. You have been warned.

My First, My Only, and My Forever by vintagelilacs (E, 6,220 w., 1 Ch. || Post-ASiB, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock’s Bum, John’s Scar, Sherlock POV, Body Worship, Fingering, Bottomlock, Promise of Forever / Proposals, Misunderstanding, First Kiss/Time, Loss of Virginity, Virginity Kink, Seduction) – Sherlock narrowed his eyes. He was missing a vital piece of data, he was sure. John had been looking at him oddly ever since they left Buckingham Palace, and the ensuing incident with Irene Adler had only exacerbated his erratic behaviour. What was it? Why would he care that Sherlock was a virgin? There was nothing reminiscent of mockery or pity in his gaze. And then it hit him. John Watson was aroused.

Time on my hands by Mildredandbobbin (M, 7,179 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-S3, One Night Stands, Mutual Pining, Virgin Sherlock, First Time, Sexual Exploration / Discovery, Desperation, Body Worship) – Virginity’s a construct, a concept—what does losing one’s virginity entail for a gay man anyway? Sherlock wants to fill that particular gap in his knowledge but John won’t, can’t, never will assist and there’s only so much desperately unspoken pining even Sherlock can take.

Speak My Language by Itsallfine (T, 7,479 w., 4 Ch. || Thanksgiving, Love Languages, Love Confessions, First Kiss, John Experiments in Sherlock) – When Mrs. Hudson introduces John and Sherlock to the concept of the five love languages, Sherlock descends into a dark mood and John’s curiosity gets the better of him. What is Sherlock’s love language, and why does the whole concept set him so on edge? Part 1 of A Holiday Triptych

Made for You by Raxicoricofallapatorious (K, 8,440 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Sci-Fi, Androids) – When John was shot in the shoulder he was decommissioned and his memory and personality was wiped. Sherlock was given the blank droid and he quickly learns that this droid is more than it seems. John just so happened to come back and no one can fathom how or why. Johnlock if you squint.

Ravish Me by amalnahurriyeh (E, 10,025 w., 1 Ch. || UST / RST, Makeup / Lipstick, Sympathetic Sally, Experiments, Pining John, First Kiss, Face Fucking / BJ’s, Cuddling) – Sherlock is experimenting with patterns of wear on lipstick in daily encounters. John is going to go insane.

You fit me, Sherlock Holmes by orphan_account (G, 10,077 w., 1 Ch. || It’s An Experiment, Bed Sharing, Slow Burn, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Questionable Science) – An unfortunate series of events leads to John accepting being a part of Sherlock's study in physical intimacy. As the days pass by, John realizes he might be in for more than he bargained for. He doesn't entirely mind.

Fucking Cake by Random_Nexus (E, 12,965 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-Slash, Humour/Crack, Inanimate Object Smut, Frottage, “For a Case” / “Experiment”, PWP / Kinky, Mutual Pining, Fluff) – Sherlock brings home a chocolate cake, John finds him about to have sex with said cake, then exceedingly weird hijinx ensue. Part 1 of "Fucking Baked Goods" - Sherlock BBC

Division by MrsNoggin (E, 19,542 w., 11 Ch. || Coffee Shop AU || First Kiss/Time, Fluff, Barista Sherlock, Clingy Sherlock, POV John, John’s Limp, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Sensuality, Touching, Virgin Sherlock, Insecure John) – John likes mysteries. And every morning he dips into the local independent coffee bar with his newspaper and ponders another... one Sherlock Holmes.

Hellfire by testosterone_tea (E, 28,596 w., 9 Ch. || Fantasy / Magic / Mages / Elementals AU || Mage Sherlock, Elemental John, Developing Relationship, Torture, Powerful / BAMF John, POV Alternating, Dark / Blood Magic, UST, First Kiss) – Sherlock is a Mage that gets involved with a case involving Dark Summoning rituals, leading him to John Watson, a man with Berserker blood. The only thing is, Berserkers have been extinct for centuries. And of course, nothing involving Mycroft and his interfering ways is ever simple. This time, even Sherlock may have bitten off more than he can chew.

Never Change a Running System by Lorelei_Lee (E, 54,246 w., 18 Ch. || Pre-TRF, Romance, Humour, Drama, Sex Toys, Anal, Rimming, Masturbation, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Public Sex, First Kiss / Time, Virgin Sherlock / Loss of Virginity, Accidental Voyeurism, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Experiments, Naive Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Straight With an Exception John, Hand Jobs) – Sherlock discovers his sexuality – with far-reaching consequences for John.

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU ||  BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

[mego42]

hi! a song inside the halls of the dark is an absolute masterpiece of plotting and pacing (and prob my fave fic I’ve read for the show so far), so for the ask a writer meme, I’d love to hear about your planning process(es). the idea of even plotting out something like that, let alone actually finishing it, just breaks my brain lol. do you do a lot of outlining? how much does the outcome end up looking like the ideas that sparked it?

adsfghgsj okay well first off, thank you! that is unspeakably flattering and i don’t know how to cope! my weird robot emotions are misfiring! but also, thank you for this question bc this is the kind of nerd shit i LIVE FOR and up until, idk, 5? 6? months ago my answer would’ve more or less been ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but sometime in between now and then i leveled up how much of a nerd i am.

okay so, the short answer to your (first) question is yes, i do a lot of outlining though the scale of outline varies based on the complexity of the story. in song’s case, how i outline actually evolved significantly over the course of writing it (see that level up) and if i were to outline it today, it would look very different from what i originally started with.

the short answer to your second question is in song’s case, the original idea was a v short, almost fluffy stuck in a hotel room for a night one shot i daydreamed up while listening to a halsey song (is there somewhere, if you were wondering). obvs what it turned into was uh, v different.

digging into how i outline is going to get long, excessively nerdy and borderline terrifying so i’m hiding the rest of this under the cut, read at your own risk.

I preface everything here with a couple of reminders:

1. i am a crazy person who straight up does not know how to have hobbies like a normal person

2. i am actively trying to push myself and grow as a writer including developing new skills and training myself to practice certain habits bc at some point I would like to push myself out of the nest and try my hand at original fiction one day with a vague goal of maybe seeing if i could get it published. idk if i’ll ever actually do that BUT in the meantime, i do stuff like the nightmare that follows to myself

initial outline / what happens next list

okay so the most basic of my outlines (and how i originally outlined song) are p much just lists of what happens next. i do them as bullet lists bc my brain finds them less intimidating and i just start with one and then ask myself what happens next. sometimes the bullets are v vague, sometimes they get so specific i end up writing what becomes dialogue, i try not to think too hard about it, i just keep asking what happens next.

it’s really specifically about what happens next, not asking myself what i want to happen in the story, bc next implies the bullet before informs the one after, so you end up with an overall picture of what you want with a base level of causality built in. it also gives you room to surprise yourself (i think literally every what happens next outline i’ve done has had me going oh, okaaaaaay at some point).

sometimes, this is all you need. for trade my heart for honey, i started and stopped here bc at the end of the day, the skeleton for that fic is super basic: beth and rio attempt to play pool without tripping over their horrendous sexual tension. they fail. the end.

for your monster looks like mine, i did a version of the what happens next list, but i brought in some of my tricks from the pace structuring method i’ve been honing for the multi-chapter i’m currently planning. instead of mapping tentpole beats by story pace, i mapped tentpole beats for what points i wanted beth and rio to be scoring against each other and then mapped out the lead-up and fallout to connect the two and also what they were doing to each other physically at the same time so i could see how it all played together so the conversation supported the smut and vice versa. it was a TOTALLY normal approach to writing pwp. not over the top at all. 

song’s original outline was basically a SUPER long what happens next list and if i could go back in time i would slap myself upside the head like bitch you have no idea what you’re getting into and you are WAY TOO COCKY ABOUT IT, but it’s okay i learned.

the spreadsheet method

somewhere around when i was in the middle of i want to say ch 9 of song, @pynkhues posted about her outlining process including a super awesome spreadsheet she uses (i cannot for the life of me find the original post, forgive me but know that it was hers) and i immediately jacked a version of it to use as my own and oh my god it changed my whole life. 

iirc hers was a bit more in depth but since i was sort of baby-stepping into it, i stripped it down into the following and did a sheet for each of the remaining chapters (well, ch 10 and ch 11, ch 11 ended up getting wildly out of control so i split it in two and mushed the epilogue i’d been planning onto the end of it as a closing breakout scene:

plot

character

it’s a lot of repetition, tbh BUT once i started using it, i found the repetition was incredibly clarifying and by making myself take the time to go through each column and go through the same stuff over and over, it honed in on the strongest, most relevant bits of what i was planning and helped me see patterns and connections i maybe hadn’t been thinking of on the onset.

when i outlined swear i used this method and added a layer to my chapter overviews where i track the lies and corresponding truths worked into the chapter narratives (bc that’s a key theme of the story), and color-coded the beats that corresponded to the main plot vs individual character arcs vs foreshadowing so i’d have an at a glance visual reference to make sure nothing was getting lost and all of the characters (even minor ones) had stuff happening to them and didn’t just feel like cardboard cutouts coming in and out of the story as i needed them

pace structuring

these are all fine and dandy but one thing they’re missing is pacing! for song’s pacing, i will be real with you, i v much went a lot with my gut. i’ve spent most of my life consuming and paying a lot of attention to stories. i’m fascinated with how they come together and literally cannot shut off the part of my brain that likes to pick them apart to examine the pieces to see how they all fit together. as such, it’s left me with a p instinctive grasp for how a story should feel when it’s working which is fantastic when it is, but really useless when it isn’t bc i struggle to identify where and why sometimes so i can fix it.

for the buffyverse, once i started to realize (with no small amount of horror) the scope of what i wanted to write, i realized p quick i needed some kind of tool kit to help me figure out the arc and pacing bc this was going to be a lot closer to trying to plot a whole novel from the ground up (which is great bc one of the things i want to practice is pacing and plotting out novels from the ground up, hahaha)

i’ve been working with a two main docs (and neither of them are spreadsheets, yet, bc one thing the spreadsheet method taught me it’s that while i find them very soothing, my brain works in bullet lists so i’m starting with bullets and then i’m gonna strain it through a spreadsheet):

1. Thoughts:

just a doc where I word vomit out anything I’m thinking, I don’t worry about keeping it organized, I just throw whatever I’m thinking in there so it’s memorialized and I can sort through it later.

2. Act Timelines / Scene Breakdowns:

basically, i have a basic three-act story structure with tentpole story beats broken out by general ballpark percentages of how far into the story/act they should occur for the pacing to feel right. i use that as the framework i run my plot and character beats through and do it in a couple of passes:

high level: i go through and break out what’s happening in the story for each tentpole beat (what the specific story and plot focus is)

by character: i go through and fill in (at least) one sub-bullet beneath each plot tentpole beat with what’s happening with each main character in their individual subplot, how they got there, what their general feelings and mindset is, if they’re having any revelations, etc (one thing i fucked up with song is not making sure i had stuff going on for all of the characters, the plot was super focused on beth and while i generally knew what rio was doing and why, ruby and annie more or less floated in and out of the story at whim and i hate that, so i’m trying to be better about it going forward)

by relationship: now i go in and fill in a layer of bullllets with how the plot and character beats are shaping relationships and how they’re progressing through each tentpole beat

at this point i’ve got a pretty fleshed out outline hitting on plot, character and relationship development at least in broad, general terms. i can look at it like a map and see how characters are growing and changing throughout the story and look for areas where the plot is pushing the characters vs the other way around and places where it seems weak or poorly connected/supported and i tinker with that for awhile until i feel like it’s in good shape.

next step is applying the what happens next approach to the scene by scene breakdowns. i’m trying an experiment with this one where instead of breaking the fic into chapters first, i’m breaking it into scenes and working out the beats of them so they incorporate all of my outlined stuff and then i’m gonna go back and see where the chapter breaks look like they fall.

I’m like, 75% of the way through my scene breakdown for this particular fic and once I’m done with that, I’m going to take everything and plug it into the spreadsheet I worked with for the last couple of chapters of song and highlight/color code like I did for swear to make sure my chapter breakdowns align with everything I’m trying to do and I’m tracking all of my themes and details and setting things up to pay them off later.

so, you know, an absolutely normal amount of planning for a hobby i do entirely for funsies in my largely nonexistent spare time. 

(sorry this was i am assuming WAAY MORE INFORMATION than you ever wanted or needed to know but once i started i couldn’t stop)

(and seriously, thank you, am truly verklempt that you love song like that 💖)

bts fic writing q’s IF YOU DARE hahaha

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Tsukikage no Shou - Kazama Final Chapter Translation

So. [im going to swear.]

I tried doing something truly fucking insane. I wrote and copied out almost every single stupid shitty word in Chinese from the CH subbed video for this (99% of everything of this was done w/o freaking copy and pasting since it was too fucking hard to locate every stupid duplicated word that i wrote) with my mouse onto google translate (I don't have any other way to input words cuz i don't have a damn input device) before i went and translated this. 

at the time i did this, writing out every stupid shitty word was a lot fucking faster than using an ocr text extractor at the time since i kept having problems with the one i was using... and my fucking gawd did this feel soooo freaking tedious and it really did hurt my hand and arm for a while.... to the point that i’ll still complain about it despite how that was done back around the time i did the tsukikage countdown video....

i fucking demand that everyone who reads this thank me for hurting myself for the sake of getting this stupid chapter translated lol... all in all, i wrote out over 4600 stupid fucking Chinese characters of this in one sitting....

oh and i think i might have forgotten about copying some of the punctuation but idfcrn.

some words/phrases i don’t wanna write in excess ever again: 1) 知道 2) 就 3) 然 4) 一族 5) 着 6) 这 7) 在 8) 我 9) 萨摩 10) 里

you guys better fucking enjoy this lol. or im going to flip a fucking table. or ten. hahaha lol. seriously (not really lol). 

on that note, i also found the Hakuoki stage play with Chinese subs but I refuse to do anything with it as long as those words aren't in text since that's more than 2 hours long, and i’m not that masochistic or insane xD. if anyone wants to volunteer as tribute though to copy/isolate the text though that’s another matter. 

also i had to go read up on more damn history than i'd have liked to in order to translate this damn thing cuz i couldn't understand several words in Chinese since they were Japanese terms which made doing this even annoying since that meant extra work for me to do... and omfg i hated writing this out despite the fact that doing so did save me a significant amount of time cuz I was still pretty bad at using photoshop when i did this...  though I can definitely say that this will be the absolute fucking first and last chapter of anything that i’ll ever write out again since i can say that my photoshop skills have improved enough so that i can extract text at a significantly faster pace and with more accuracy...

images used in this post were snips of the some video of the chapter aside from the last 2 which were from the cgs i posted a loooong while back.

if someone decides to repost this elsewhere, i will seriously stop posting my translations publicly (also i will curse you) :D

(p.s. i don’t have the chapter intro since that wasn’t translated for any of the final chapter tls that were posted online, and as always, edits will be done later)

Hakuoki Tsukikage no Shou - Kazama Chikage - Final Chapter

Translation by KumoriYami

Eighth year of Meiji 7th month

Six years later after what later generations would refer to the "Boshin War." Chikage-san took me away to live at his village within the Satsuma Domain. This is a story of what happened 5 years after I married into the Kazama family.

Eighth year of Meiji, 7th month

My eyes were unfocused.

I was quietly mending something——

Kazama Chizuru: That hurt......!

I accidentally hit my finger with the needle.

Kazama Chizuru:......Messed up again.

This type of housework, would usually be finished quickly.... But today my concentration, from the start until just now, wasn't here.

I know the reason why.

Kazama Chizuru: Ah......

I stopped/lowered my hand and softly sighed. Recently, Chikgae-san has been increasing his visits to human villages. 

It seems that Amagiri-san has also been frequently rushing around to collect information. The oni in this village saw this, and one after another, they began talking about 

——Soon, there will be no more war with humans.

The female oni were especially scared of war.

However I didn't think it wasn't improbable......

But there was no way to say that war wouldn't happen again.

It's hard to think that the world's become so peaceful.

When I was thinking about these things. (door slides)

There was the sound of a door opening.

I didn't need to confirm who this person was——

Kazama Chikage: I didn't see you, so this is where you were.

Kazama Chizuru: Chikage-san......

The instant I saw him, I immdiately felt relieved...... I couldn't help but smile.

Kazama Chikage: What is it? Is there something funny?

Kazama Chizuru: No, That's......

Kazama Chizuru: I always think it's unimaginable in how I am able to recognize you by your breathing, Chikage-san.

Presumably my answer probably surprised him since Chikage-san's eyes widened......

Kazama Chikage: Of course I am also able to recognize you by your breathing, you and I are husband and wife.

If this had been before, I probably would have immediately denied Chikage-san's words.......

Kazama Chizuru:......That's right/Is that so.

There's no need to deny anything now.

Because Chikage-san and I have already had our marriage ceremony in the Kazama village to become husband and wife.

Kazama Chikage: What are you doing here?

Kazama Chizuru: Sewing clothes.

Kazama Chizuru: If the children's clothes aren't taken care of, they might get torn when caught on a branch or from falling down. 

Kazama Chikage: this sort of housework, you can just give it someone else to do.

Kazama Chizuru: But, I have happen to have time......

Kazama Chikage: Accompany me for a walk.

Chikage-san raise his chin, and spoke with an indisputable tone of voice.

Kazama Chizuru: Wait a moment, let me tie this knot......

Kazama Chikage: That thing can wait and be done later, come with me for a walk first.

Really......

Chikage-san's unyielding personality hasn't changed since [even before] we married.

Kazama Chizuru:......I understand, I'll come with you.

Anyway fighting is useless, so I followed him.

It was slightly hot when we reached the forest.

As small birds could clearly be heard chirping nearby, Chikage-san and I walked together.

Kazama Chizuru:......You seem to be so busy lately, have things calmed down yet?

I spoke to him in this way......

Kazama Chikage:............ [he sighs/breathes out  here]

Not hearing my words, Chikage-san showed a distressed expression, and was silent.

Kazama Chizuru: Chikage-san....... Chikage-san.

After using a slightly heavier tone, he finally stopped.

Kazama Chikage:......What's wrong?

Kazama Chizuru: To ask me what's wrong......

Kazama Chizuru: Just now I called you several times just now and you didn't respond, it's very concerning

Kazama Chikage: So it's like that, I apologize.

Kazama Chizuru: No, I'm not upset......

Kazama Chizuru: What's bothering you?

Kazama Chizuru: If it's alright, you can talk about it with me.

Kazama Chikage:............ [he sighs/breathes again here... this one sounds more like a sigh imo]

Kazama Chizuru: If there's anything that's difficult to talk about, I won't force you to say anything.......

Kazama Chikage: No.......it's not something that cannot be said.

Kazama Chikage: As the leader's wife, I think you should know about this matter.

It felt like there was a different weight to the way he was saying "the leader's wife."

After moving to this village, Chikage-san has told me those words [in that manner] several times...... The subjects that followed afterwards, were matters that directly concerned the village.

As I nervously waited for his next words, Chikage-san spoke in a solemn and careful tone.

Kazama Chikage:......There are rumours, that the Satsuma shizoku has been engaging in suspicious activities. [check audio]

Kazama Chizuru: Shizoku......?

After entering the Meiji era, former samurai are now referred to as "shizoku"...... No longer able to receive an official's salary, I've heard that they have had difficulties in securing their livelihoods.

Kazama Chikage: After last year's "conscription notice," it is said that official talks to forbid carrying of blades were given with the "conscription notice."

Kazama Chizuru: Forbidding the carrying of blades? That is to say......

Before I asked my question, Chikage-san nodded.

Kazama Chikage: Banning the wearing of katana

Kazama Chikage: [Meaning] Depriving warriors of the rights associated with them.

Kazama Chizuru: Doing that sort of thing...... aren't the Satsuma shizoku unlikely to accept that?

The Satsuma shizoku were [perhaps: had been] proud to be part of the Meiji Restoration, and before I heard that it was their greatest pride. They had overthrown the Shogunate with great difficulty, but they [however it seems that they] haven't received a decent reward [pay-off is prob more accurate]......

If they are deprived of their privileges that they had and are again forced into having difficult lives, it is obvious that there will be resentment.

Kazama Chikage:......Last year, reportedly Saigo's defeat at the central government and his return to the Satsuma, appeared to be the cause of riots breeaking out in human villages. [refers to Seikanron]

Chikage-san's words caused me to let out a cold breath.

I've heard that Saigo is the Satsuma's most powerful individual.

If indignant warriors gather assemble together under his banner——

Kazama Chizuru: Then, where are you going [probably planning?]?

Kazama Chikage: Come on...... let's walk for a while.

Speaking like that, Chikage-san urged me......

No mater what, I wanted to confirm this matter.

Kazama Chizuru: Chikage-san......

Kazama Chikage:......Nn?

Kazama Chizuru: Will Chikage-san have no choice, but to once again move for the Satsuma?

Kazama Chizuru: Just like when the Shogunate was destroyed......

Because there is a sense of righteousness and companionship with the Satsuma [i'd assume this is more sense of gratitude and debt based on Kyoto Winds/Edo Blossoms], there's nothing to be done on the matter......

If that’s the case, I don't want Chikage-san to once again be dragged into humanity's wars.

He is my beloved husband—— we have many precious things to protect now.

Kazama Chikage:......Do not worry, our Kazama family/clan has promised to help the Shimazu clan.

Kazama Chikage: There is no involvement in the Satsuma right now. I have no plans to be involved in wars between humans.

Kazama Chizuru: Really?

Kazama Chikage: Have I [ever] lied to you?

Kazama Chizuru:.......No

Kazama Chizuru: Chikage-san, thank you. Hearing what you said just now, I can be at ease.

Even so I felt that nothing was stronger than the promise he made just now.

Chikage-san will certainly use all of his strength to protect us.

Kazama Chikage:......Perhaps, in the near future, war may occur in the Satsuma. [the Satsuma may go to war is likely more accurate given the Satsuma Rebellion]

Kazama Chikage: In order to prepare for such a situation, [we] must consider temporarily moving into hiding elsewhere.

Kazama Chizuru:......Yes

The oni of the Kazama village...... everything must be done to protect them. In the past my clan——the disaster that befell the Yukimura clan's oni must not be repeated.

(scene changes to ocean) ~3100 words by now

Afterwards, Chikage-san and I arrived at place....... a place outside the village and near the beach.

The deep blue sea could clearly be seen in the distant horizon, as well as the rolling waves. It's was a symbol and scene of peace and stability.

............However.

Kazama Chizuru:......Is war really going to erupt again?

It seemed as if war would break this sea of tranquility.

Kazama Chikage: I am afraid that it will.

Kazama Chikage: But do not worry. I will certainly protect you all

Kazama Chizuru:......Nn, I believe you.

Our conversation drew to a close once more, but it didn't feel out of sorts.

The sound of the tide carried away all of my worries.

In this way, looking out towards the majestic sea......

Kazama Chizuru:......This reminds me of when the two of us disembarked back then.

Chikage-san was quiet as he turned towards me.

His pair of red eyes looked at me, almost as if to ask for the truth of what I meant just now.

Kazama Chikage: The people [or officials?] from the Satsuma fled, similarly to how the warriors of Aizu did.

Kazama Chikage: It wasn't only the Aizu. The former Shogunate who fought the Sat-cho probably also hated the Satsuma and wanted to go to war with them.

Kazama Chikage: They were pardoned, no longer are they an enemy seeking revenge......

Kazama Chikage: For what reason would they need to repeat a disastrous policy/the same mistake......

Kazama Chizuru:......Yes. I also......don't understand

Kazama Chizru:......However it's already...... fighting between humans, oni must not participate again.

Kazama Chizuru: That's what I think, ever since I chose to live here as an oni.

Kazama Chizuru:.....Yes. Even though——

Kazama Chizuru: Even if  there's a new battle, the surviving members of the Shinsengumi might take part in it, as will others who are the same——

Among them, I heard that some of them had been pardoned.

That possibility of that is entirely possible.

But——

I've truly observed the conclusion to the Shinsengumi's existence.

They cannot be involved, they can no longer live while fighting against the trajectory [of history? alt:against the flow/tide]/ They can't——it's not possible for them to get involved again, and they can no longer survive against the tide.

Right, though it's difficult to say that/sorry/sad to admit to that.

Kazama Chikage: In front of me, you don't need to be strong [put up a brave front]

Kazama Chizuru:......It's alright. I'm not trying to be strong.

Kazama Chizuru: It's true that I have nothing to do with the Shinsengumi anymore——

Kazama Chizuru: Because of that, there have been things [that I have] obtained.

Kazama Chikage: Oh? Such as?

Kazama Chizuru: Yes......

Options

(Choosing to live together with you)<--- (Understanding how samurai/warriors chose to live)

Kazama Chizuru: Your...... being at Chikage-san's side, it was my choice.

Kazama Chikage: Usually you're only complaining, today you're being quite frank.

Kazama Chizuru: Com-complaining......! I didn't say [anything like] that.

Kazama Chizuru: You and the children never listen and don't even know it......!

I tried to argue——

Kazama Chikage: No need to speak. Come. He took me by my arms then held me tightly.

Kazama Chizuru: Ah......!

There wasn't enough time to respond since I was confused, and he grabbed my chin [face/cheek looks to be more accurate] with his fingers.

(Kazama's kiss with Chizuru cg 1)

Kazama Chizuru: Nn......

It was like saying that everything I was belonged to him, as he gave me a fierce kiss.

I also used my lips to respond to his warmth.

Kazama Chikage:......You don't need to be worried.

Kazama Chikage: Even if the Satsuma ['s lands/domain] becomes a battlefield......

Kazama Chikage: I will do everything to protect you, the children, as well as the village's oni.

Although he spoke in a natural tone......

He however was shouldering the fates of me and the children, and of the entire clan.

[To be the one] dealing with this huge amount of pressure, I couldn't imagine it.

Kazama Chizuru:......I will support you. 

While living as a human, then recalling the everyone from the Shinsengumi, I feel sad, although there are times [Although there are times I feel sad when I think of when I lived as a human, and recall everyone from the Shinsengumi......]

But I, have chosen to to support him on this path.

Kazama Chizuru: As a wife...... as an oni, I will do everything to support you......

So, as long as I'm alive, I will always support him.

Kazama Chizuru: Ah. Please stay at my side. You absolutely will not regret it.

(kiss cg 1 again) ——He never broke his promise.

Chikage-san will stay with never go against this agreement, and will stay with me for a lifetime.

So I shall make a promise to him here.

Kazama Chizuru: I will forever be at your side......

——This is the promise of an oni.

——Tsukikage no Shou Kazama Final Chapter End—— 

maybe i’ll go translate yamazaki’s final tsukikage no shou chapter... in like 2 years. or something. if someone hasn’t done it by then. lol. unfortunately, tsukikage is not on my priority list since 95% of what CH TL I’ve seen is only available as videos... and while I’d very much prefer to translate Saito’s ginse no shou route, the only thing that I’ve found with CH TL so far is a short clip from the 2nd common route chapter.... plus, i still have ssl to worry about... and even then, there are some dramas that i really wanted translated along with the rest of kyoka-roku... 

final edits will be done when i start caring about them... later.

also this is chapter 8 for kazama’s route. each route in tsukikage and ginsei no shou has their own unique ending music.

p.s.s. i always love to complain about unnecessary extra free labour.

[gothpanda]

A Little Bit of Attitude Ch.32: Los Angeles

WORD COUNT: 5.6k

A/N: lol I’m not dead. Just had finals

TAGS: @madamsixx​ @emariehorror​

Read on Ao3

Previous/Next

May 31st, 1987

Oakland, California

"... At the dollhouse in Fort Lauderdale! Girls, Girls, Girls! Rocking in Atlanta at Tattletails,"

Sammi groaned loud from the music through the speakers, lightly banging her head against the metal shelves aligned with cassette tapes. It was a brand new song that seemed to play 24/7 since being released, Sammi wanting to rip her ears out of her head. It didn't help that she was in a record store where most of the employees were goth or punks. As Sammi rested her head on the cold metal, Athena couldn't help but chuckle at her sister's dismay while browsing the selection of pop tapes.

"Why are you so dramatic? I thought you'd be happy the band is being successful," said Athena, side-eyeing Sammi's pouted lips.

"I would be happy if I didn't have to hear or see them all over the place. It gets annoying after a while," said Sammi, walking down the aisle of music, finding something new to entertain herself in. Athena followed in her little sister's footsteps, keeping a safe distance from her. It was Athena's idea to check a music store as Sammi showed her around the Bay Area, never having been able to visit until today.

"Well, it's not like you've been avoiding them or anything like that. Of course, it would get annoying,"

"I am not avoiding them," mumbled Sammi.

"Are you sure? You have done a pretty good job if you ask me," said Athena, grabbing a new Aerosmith cassette for her walkman.

Sammi stopped dead in her tracks, turning to glare right at Athena, who had a playful smirk. "I have not, Athena. I've been busy. " There's a difference," said Sammi, turning into the magazine aisle near the shop's cash register.

"Really? You could've fooled by the way you haven't been home in a year. When was the last time you talked to mama or dad?"

Sammi sighed out. "I'm sorry for missing out on stuff, but school has been a bigger pain in my ass than I thought. And I have spoken to mama and dad,"

"You've missed: Tommy's birthday, Mama's birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, my birthday-"

"Okay, I get it, Athena! You don't have to remind me. I'm going home for a month aren't I?" asked Sammi with a sting of sarcasm, glancing at all of the headlines from the gossip tabloids.

"And thank god for that,"

"Why L.A isn't living up to its potential anymore?" joked Sammi.

"Exactly. Everything has been moderately boring since you left. It's not fun hanging out with Tommy after he got married. Our lovely sister-in-law isn't up to crazy fun. And all of my friends are acting like full adults now with 9 to 5's," said Athena.

Right as Sammi responded, her eyes fell on an issue of 'Rock Secrets,' another gossip magazine amongst the hundreds. The cover for the tabloid made Sammi's heartstrings get pulled in different directions. Nikki in the arms of another woman, both smirking. Sammi knew the woman from the party scene of Los Angeles, a dancer for every music video but nothing more. She was the complete opposite of Sammi in every single way. The woman was someone taller who was almost the same height as Nikki in heels. She was slimmer than Sammi and tanner in comparison to Sammi's pale cheeks. Sammi didn't want to believe Nikki running out to get new girlfriends after she left but knew it was bound to happen at some point. It had been a year. Sammi was never one to feel self-conscious about her appearance but seeing someone so different from her have Nikki wrapped around their finger stung. As Sammi stared longer at the cover, she was able to see the haze in Nikki's eyes that she hated, the girl almost matching him. Sammi reached for the magazine, facing Athena with a ghastly face, a cocktail of anger and sadness show. Athena pressed her lips tightly together, taking the tabloid for herself to examine.

"She isn't close to being as pretty as you," said Athena in hopes of cheering Sammi up. Sammi scoffed. "And Tommy hates her with his whole being. Apparently, she's some crazy attention whore. That's probably why she's on this stupid cover,"

"She is pretty, don't lie. And I don't care if Tommy doesn't like her or she's an attention whore," said Sammi, yanking the magazine from Athena's hand. She curled her lip as she stared at the cover, turning pages to see more photos of the couple around Los Angeles. With the luck of being around drugs and partying, Sammi could see when Nikki was high in the images. "Her name is Veronica?" asked Sammi.

"Yeah. Don't let her get to you, she's just some background dancer who's gotten with other musicians," answered Athena, skimming through a Rolling Stones magazine.

"Still. She has a pretty name," mumbled Sammi under her breath, unable to look away. When it finally felt too much for Sammi, she threw the thin tabloid down the aisle with all her force in one quick motion. Athena whipped her head fast, snapping her eyes wide open in shock.

"Sam, what the hell?" asked Athena in a sharp whisper. Sammi only continued to walk into a different section of the music shop. "Was that really necessary?" asked Athena, raising an eyebrow at Sammi.

Sammi shrugged her shoulders, pouting slightly. "It felt good for a second, now I'm just annoyed again,"

"It's great to see you've moved on," teased Athena, throwing her arm around Sammi's shoulders.

"What? I can't be bitter if an ex got a new girlfriend?" asked Sammi, folding her arms across her chest.

"No, because you're supposed to be the mature one, remember? It shouldn't get to you,"

"I beg to differ on being mature,"

"Hey! You can't throw around the magazines!" yelled a young goth girl, picking up the crinkled magazine from the floor, frowning at Sammi and Athena.

"Sorry, she had a temper tantrum. Won't happen again!" answered Athena, trying her best to hide a chuckle. "But seriously please don't do that again. I like to come back to this place next time I visit you,"

"Oh finally you're thinking about visiting?" asked Sammi with a smile, crossing her arms against her chest.

The sisters continued exploring the record store a moment longer, buying cassette tapes to listen to on the drive back home. When Sammi would scan down the rock section, she couldn't help think about what Nikki would like. It was a habit she couldn't break yet. The Oakland streets were beginning to grow busy with summer vacation coming around, Sammi seeing more tourists than usual. "So, I know you don't want to talk about Motley but I should probably tell you this," said Athena.

Sammi kept her dead stare ahead of her, scowling into the distance. "What is it? No one's dying or in the hospital right?"

Athena scoffed in amusement. "No, nothing like that. They're going to be back on the road soon," said Athena, lighting a cigarette as the sisters walked down east.

"Oh. Good for them," said Sammi, wrinkles deepening between her brows. "When are they packing up?"

"Third week in June? Tommy hasn't given me all the details yet except for one,"

"Which is?"

"He wants to throw this huge kick-off party at his and Heather's,"

"Okay," Sammi shrugged.

"I wanted to let you know before Tommy gets so incredibly excited to tell you, he forgets to ask if you're okay," said Athena, blowing out smoke into the air.

"Athena, I'm fine. I just needed to let out my frustrations for a second,"

"Sammi no you're not and please listen," Sammi stopped her steps, sucking her teeth as she faced Athena. "You can admit to not wanting to see Nikki when you get back home. It's understandable to not want to see an ex. You shouldn't tough it out for the sake of Tommy or anyone else. If you're not okay just tell me,"

Sammi sighed out heavily, gazing up anywhere but Athena. "It's okay. I'm okay. Yeah, it hurts Nikki moved on, but what am I supposed to do? We haven't talked in a year, and we both messed up," said Sammi, continuing to walk with heavy steps.

"How did you mess up?" asked Athena.

"I got up and left without telling him. I didn't tell my boyfriend anything about me leaving, and I just left him. You don't think that's a little messed up?" asked Sammi, scrunching her brows together with a frown.

"You two broke up before you left," reassured Athena.

Sammi stopped again in her tracks, looking right into Athena's eyes. "Did you know Nona died last year? Nikki's grandma" asked Sammi.

Athena bit her lip. "No, I didn't. Tom never mentioned it," muttered Athena, looking down at her feet.

Sammi bit the inside of her cheek, shaking her head slightly and continuing to walk. Instead of spitting out venomous words, Sammi pulled out a cigarette from her crinkled pack of Camels, lighting it in silence. "You've been busy, Sam. Don't be hard on yourself," said Athena.

"This conversation is going way longer than I want," muttered Sammi, staring dead ahead of her.

"Fine. Are you ready to go home then?" asked Athena, looping her arm around Sammi's. Sammi sighed out with a nod. The sisters continued their walk through the city streets until finding the car park, silence forming between them. Sammi only wanted to go home to her family.

*

June 2nd

Los Angeles, California

"Sammi!" screamed Emma excitedly from the apartment balcony, smiling down at her best friend. Sammi slammed the backseat door, swinging a duffle bag on her shoulders as she smiled back at Emma. Sabrina soon rushed out behind the sliding door with a smile on her face. "Do you need any help?" yelled out Sabrina.

"No, I'm good! I'll be right up!" answered Sammi, racing up to the second floor of the apartment complex. As Sammi reached Emma and Sabrina's door, Emma swung it right open, engulfing Sammi in a lovingly tight hug. Sabrina wrapped her arms around both the girls, everyone smiling gleefully. Once finally pulling apart, Emma grabbed Sammi's duffle off her shoulders, playing a great hostess.

"We've missed you so much," said Sabrina, kissing Sammi on her temple.

"Come on and welcome to our very adult apartment," joked Emma, swinging her arm around Sammi's shoulders, walking into the apartment. It was perfect for Emma and Sabrina, enough space for both with extra for Sammi. Anyone who visited could see the elements of a future lawyer and a star athlete, a mix of color and neatness. Sammi admired the decor from every corner, noting the purple sofa and accent chair in the living room.

"I like everything. You girls really got the place up and pretty," said Sammi, dropping herself on the sofa.

"Thanks, we did have a year to get it clean for you," teased Sabrina with a smirk, sitting down on an accent chair. Sammi glared at her, matching Sabrina's smirk as Emma took the duffle bag to her room.

"Ha. Ha. I just wanted to give you two all the time in the world,"

"In that case, you better love every single corner of this place," said Emma, prospering herself next to Sammi. "But enough about this place! How's San Francisco? Is it great and gay as I imagine?" asked Emma with a goofy smile.

"Is school going great for you? I know my mom wanted me to move there for college," asked Sabrina, almost on the edge of her seat.

"Are the nightclubs totally amazing like I hear? We should go to one when we visit next month!" exclaimed Emma.

Sammi only looked down at her hands, checking her nail polish with a forced thin smile on. She shrugged her shoulders, trying her best to think of something great. "San Fran's pretty, don't get me wrong, but it's so… cramped and stiff. It's nothing but an overpriced tiny island," scuffed Sammi, pouting at Emma and Sabrina.

"Really? You made it sound so nice on the phone when we'd call," said Sabrina, scrunching her brows together.

"I also make those phone calls short if you two recall," said Sammi, Sabrina and Emma exchange worried looks. "The only nice thing I can think of was the food. Great Japanese restaurants. But school is school. One year down, one more to go. The people I've met have been incredibly rude. One was some Christian freak who said the boys were satanic, and I wasn't any better hanging out with them,"

"Wow. Wait until you tell her you like to hang out with a lesbian," joked Emma, earning a smile from Sammi. "Sam, you should've said something about not being happy. We could've gone up and hung out for a weekend," Emma suggested.

"And brought some company with us," said Sabrina, pressing her lips firmly together.

"You'd really make Emma sit in a car with her ex? Even if they were my sister?" teased Sammi.

"No, I think she was talking about another ex," said Emma, biting the edge of her thumbnail. "And not a blonde ex,"

Sammi looked back down at her hands, grabbing a pillow to hug. "I think Nikki is already pretty busy with his new girlfriend. He wouldn't want to come to San Francisco," shrugged Sammi.

"You sure? I think he would drop everything if we asked him to tag along. The guys haven't been on tour yet," said Sabrina.

"Yep. I'm sure. Nikki was never a fan of San Francisco,"

"Sabrina is right about Nikki dropping everything to see you, Sammi. It wouldn't matter if he has a girlfriend or not. He hasn't seen you in a year or talked to you-"

"He's tried, mumbled Sammi.

"What?" asked Emma, scrunching her eyebrows deeper.

"He tried and I tried, but I just fucked it up," sighed Sammi with a shaky breath.

"Sammi, please talk to us," said Sabrina, leaning forward on her legs, hands closed.

Sammi sighed out, resting her head from the side in the palm of her hand. "Nona passed away. Nikki left a voicemail, sounding messed up and I didn't do anything about it. I didn't call him to check in on him. I didn't call his grandfather to check in on him. I didn't do anything. I would call him in the middle of the night and then hang up right away after I first moved. He would be high," said Sammi, wiping away the forming tear that could fall.

"Sam," said Emma softly, reaching out to hold Sammi's hand.

"Please don't tell me I didn't fuck up because I did," pleased Sammi, looking at Emma and Sabrina.

"Okay, the both of you have had bad communication skills, but it still isn't considered  fucked up ," said Sabrina. "You're home for a month. Maybe now it's a better time to speak to him,"

Sammi shook her head. "There's more than just that. I slept with Vince after we got drunk," admitted Sammi. "I fucked up,"

Sabrina and Emma stared at Sammi for a moment, glancing at each other to find something to say. "How bad do you feel about having sex with Vince?" asked Sabrina.

"S,"

"No Em, I'm just asking a question. Sammi, why did you sleep with Vince? And why did you feel bad afterward?" asked Sabrina again, this time in a stern voice.

"Because it didn't feel right after I sobered up. There were no rekindled feelings within me for the person I dated. I was drunk and Vince kept saying how great Nikki was doing. He didn't sleep with me because he missed me. It felt like he just wanted to get back at Nikki," said Sammi running a hand down her face.

"Did Vince tell Nikki?" asked Emma.

"I don't know. When we spoke, I told him it was a one-time thing and to keep it between us," said Sammi.

"I still think you should talk to Nikki," suggested Sabrina.

"You're going to have to someday," said Emma, swinging her arm around Sammi's shoulders, bringing her in for a hug.

"I know. I have to do it next Saturday," groaned Sammi. "Tommy's going to throw a party before the guys leave on tour and I have to go,"

"You mean we have to go," added Emma, Sammi scrunching her brows together. "You seriously think we're just going to let you be alone where Nikki is? What kind of friends do you think we are," teased Emma, smiling at Sammi.

Sabrina walked over to the sofa, perching herself on the sofa's armrest, placing her chin on the crown of Sammi's hair. "You'll be fine. Things may seem like shit right now but I promise you, there's always a glimmer of light after a storm," said Sabrina. Sammi only smiled at the two girls, nerves slowly thawing out and relaxing.

June 13th

"What time does Tommy want us to show up?" shouted Sabrina from her bedroom into the hallway, scowling down at the multiple outfits on her bed. Sammi shuffled into Sabrina's room, undoing the last hair roller from her dark locks.

"He said 8:30," answered Sammi, seeing a digital clock read 8:40. When it came to times for parties, they were only a suggestion for the girls. Tommy never meant the time he really said. Sammi scanned the bed before picking up a blue strapless dress. "You should wear this one. It's a nice summer color,"

"So happy to have you help with my little dilemmas," smiled Sabrina, grabbing the dress to change in the private bathroom. "Is Emma ready?" Sabrina shouted through the restroom.

"Yeah, I just needed to finish straightening my hair," entered Emma, ready to go in her purple jumpsuit. "Are you ready, Sammi?" asked Emma.

Sammi scrunched her brows together. "Oh yeah, I'm already dressed. I only need my heels,"

"I don't mean physically ready even though I love that black dress. I meant ready to see the guys again. Specifically a certain bassist,"

Sammi pursed her lips out. "No, but it's going happen sooner or later,"

"That's the spirit! I'll call us a cab while Sabrina's changing. Remember it's still going to be a fun night!" cheerfully said, Emma.

"If you say so," said Sammi with hesitation.

*

From the grand driveway, guests from the party scenes had already flooded the mansion, either inside or outside. The girls walked up the front steps, smiling politely and maneuvering past people they didn't know until inside. Sammi scanned the foyer and living room, hesitant to find familiar faces just yet. It wasn't until Sammi heard her name yelled out in a high pitched voice.

"Sammi! Finally, you're here!" yelled out Heather in excitement, walking as fast as she could in her heels. She swiftly hugged Sammi tightly, ignoring the presence of Emma and Sabrina. Sammi embraced back with less enthusiasm but still happy to see her sister-in-law. "It's been so long! I have missed you so much!" said Heather, releasing Sammi from her grip. "Did you all just get here? Let's go to the kitchen for a drink!" suggested Heather, grabbing Sammi's hand, pulling her further into the house. Sammi flashed anxious wide eyes at Emma and Sabrina, the two only shrugging their shoulders and following. A few people began to recognize Sammi as the four passed through, almost remembering Tommy's other sister. The kitchen wasn't better in the number of people, some others herding in the quarters. Heather let go of Sammi, playing hostess, as she filled up three glasses of expensive champagne. Soon another person in the herd approached the absent girl, clearing his throat to gain her attention. Sammi's eyes lit up, as did her smile when realizing who it was.

"Mick!" exclaimed Sammi.

"How have you been, Little One?" said Mick, smiling his best as the two exchanged a small hug. "I'm not one to be needy, but how come I haven't heard much from you?"

Sammi shrugged her shoulders. "School has been kicking my ass. It's harder than I forgot," joked Sammi.

"I'm happy that's your reason. It's been quiet without you,"

"How can it be so quiet? I'm the least crazy out all of you," teased Sammi.

Mick shrugged his shoulders. "Quiet for me at least,"

"Here you go, Sammi. Heather had to find Tommy," said Sabrina, passing her the champagne glass.

"Hey, Mick! Enjoying the party?" asked Emma, forming a small circle between the four.

"As much as I can for a little while. I'm just waiting for my girl to stop by then I'm taking off," said Mick, earning wide eyes from all the girls.

"You have a girlfriend?" asked Sabrina with an amused smile.

"That's so nice!" said Emma.

"Who is she?" asked Sammi, cocking a raised eyebrow.

Mick began to smirk, taking a sip of his alcohol of choice. "Her name's Emerson. She's a backup singer, but please don't tell the guys. The three of you can't tell them,"

The girls all scrunched their brows at Mick. "Why? Is she someone they know?" asked Emma.

"We hired her to tour with us. That's how we met. But I know they'll just bust my balls for liking her,"

"Mick, you shouldn't let the guys dictate who you want to like. If you really like this girl then they're just going to have to deal with it," advised Sabrina.

"Unless she's mean to you then we're going to have a problem," said Sammi, winking at Mick.

Mick scuffed at the girls. "Whatever just please keep it yourselves, for me. That is all I ask,"

"Promise," the girls said in unison.

"Thank you. Come on let's find your brother and sister, they've been wondering about you," said Mick, taking the lead to leave the stuffy kitchen. Right as Sammi stepped out, her eyes couldn't help but fall directly onto a man far away, almost making her freeze. Nikki staring right at her, back against the wall. Sammi swallowed hard, continuing to follow Mick and the girls, eyes looking down. This didn't stop Nikki; he followed every step Sammi took until disappearing behind a wall. Sammi couldn't help but finish the champagne in one gulp, placing the glass on a random table.

"Sammi! Finally! I was starting to think you were going to show up!" yelled out Tommy in excitement, hugging the youngest sister. "And ladies, always lovely to see the two of you!" Emma and Sabrina giggling alongside Tommy. Athena appeared right past Emma, only smirking at her without a word. She kissed Sammi on the cheek, passing her a refreshed drink of vodka. "I see Mick got to you before anyone else. Let me get Vince!"

"Tommy, it's cool. I have all night to talk to people," said Sammi, biting her lip.

"Besides Vince is wrapped around a new blondie's finger," added Mick, sitting down on a nearby sofa.

"Vince got a new girlfriend?" asked Sammi.

Tommy shrugged his shoulders. "She's basically a look-like of Sharise. I give it two months while we're on the road,"

"When did you know about this?" Sammi asked Athena.

"About an hour ago when he walked through the door. She seems like a nice girl if I'm being honest," said Athena.

As if his ears were burning, Vince sturt his way to the group with a young woman wrapped around him. "Sam! What a surprise!" said Vince with excitement. Tommy shot a look between Athena and the girls, sitting down beside Mick. "Babe, this is Sammi. Tommy's other sister I was telling you about,"

"Hi, I'm Hayley. I've heard a lot about you," said Hayley extending out a hand, trying her best to not seem uncomfortable.

Sammi smiled politely, accepting the handshake to not be rude. "All good things I hope,"

"Of course all good. I'd never talk bad about you," said Vince, smirking lustfully at Sammi.

"Yeah, like how smart and nice you are," said Hayley. The tension between the two girls was incredibly thick. Anyone could cut it with a knife. Suddenly, the music changed from its rock sound to a techno beat, blaring even louder than before. Tommy jumped up to question, only to let out an annoyed groan when seeing a wild hair woman jump on the coffee table in the middle of the room. To the music's beat, the woman danced faster and faster, almost too fast for the music. Emma couldn't help but curl her lip at the woman, wrinkling her brows at Tommy. Sammi hitched her breath, caught in her throat when realizing it was Veronica.

"Who the hell is that?" asked Emma.

"Nikki's new girlfriend," groaned Tommy, pouring some whiskey into his solo cup. "She's a bitch," he whispered to the girls, noting the somber expression from Sammi.

"I don't know how Sixx deals with that. Come on, babe, let's go out to the pool," said Vince, wrapping his arm around Hayley's waist. "Later, Sam," winked Vince.

Sammi remained silent amongst everyone, sinking into the sofa to watch the unfortunate show display in front of her. People around the grand living room gathered to watch Veronica, snickers from other women as they watched. Muttered comments going around on the visible state of Veronica being high on some type of drug. This went on longer than anyone wanted, Sammi beginning to wonder if anyone had the heart to stop her. Most found it entertaining, while others didn't. Sammi glanced around the room, wondering where Nikki was during all of this. It wasn't until Heather stomped up to Tommy, bringing him down to her level to whisper in his ear. Sammi was able to read the anger on Heather's face, seeing her fold in her arms right at her husband. Tommy shook his head, marching straight to Veronica, and one swoop brought her off the table, clinging onto Veronica. Tommy tried his best to shuffle out of the living room even when it was becoming difficult.

"Let go of me you asshole! You demon!" shouted Veronica, her weak legs making her almost sink to the floor. As Tommy lifted Veronica back on her feet, Nikki appeared from thin air confused. Tommy couldn't help but throw the intoxicated girl at his best friend. Nikki didn't bother to help her stand on her two feet, letting Veronica stumble by his feet. Sammi could see the three frowning at Nikki's careless attitude toward Veronica.

"Was she dancing again?" asked Nikki, scowling down at Veronica.

"Yeah. Now can you please watch your chick? Some of us are trying to enjoy our night," said Tommy, going to the stereos to finally switch the music to something more bearable. He walked over to Heather with his classic Tommy smile, kissing her on the lips to melt any anger away. Grabbing Veronica by her arm, Nikki dragged her up on her feet, quickly turning away from all staring eyes. Nikki grinds hard his teeth when his eyes fell on Sammi for the second time of the night, being able to see the worry from her. The dysfunctional couple disappeared from within the house, everyone soon forgetting about the little show—everyone except for Sammi. Sammi stared down at her drink, Sabrina sitting right next to her.

"Ready to talk to him?" asked Sabrina?

Sammi bit the inside of her cheek, glancing up in the direction of where Nikki was. "Will I ever be?" scuffed Sammi, taking a swing from whatever was in her cup.

"Probably not, but it wouldn't hurt to try another time. Nikki already saw you. He knows you're here. And he's leaving in a couple of days. I'm only suggesting because I care about you,"

"I know. I'll be right back," said Sammi, passing Sabrina her cup as she stood up while fixing her short dress.

Sabrina wrinkled her brows at Sammi. "You're going to talk to him now?"

"No, but if I just happen to go missing please come find me," answered Sammi, carefully passing through the sea of people.

*

"Why do you keep making a scene everywhere we go?" whispered Nikki from behind the closed door. Sammi paused from touching up her makeup in the mirror, remaining completely still and silent to listen. "You're high again aren't you?" asked Nikki. Sammi pressed her ear to the door to listen better. She knew there was no point in hiding in the bathroom, thinking of Emma and Sabrina looking for her.

"So what if I am? It's a party!" shouted Veronica.

"That I didn't invite you to!" said Nikki. The silence between the two soon followed for a moment, Sammi slowly opening the door. She tried her best to not make her heels clank loud on the tile, walking into the hallway with small steps. The hallway's right end was utterly empty, causing Sammi to drop the cautious act as she shut the bathroom door behind her. "Sammi?" said Nikki, Sammi jumping in her skin when hearing her name. She peered over her shoulder, Nikki looking dead at her for the third time, somewhat softer finally. Veronica leaned slouched against the wall with a deadly stare, unhappy to see Sammi even if she was a stranger. It was clear to Sammi Nikki looked better than most days, Veronica appearing to be the only one under something. Sammi didn't peep a word, unable to say anything to Nikki, especially with his new girlfriend by his side.

"I know who you are," slurred Veronica, stumbling on her feet to regain balance, dodging Nikki's attempt to hold her down. She fought the urge to fall onto the floor, wanting to be right in Sammi's face. Sammi couldn't say or do anything, freezing at the taller woman looking down on her. Sammi could see the pin needle pupils in Veronica's eyes. "I know exactly who you are. You're the one corrupting Nikki. The one corrupting everyone," Sammi scrunched her brows deep together, looking past Veronica to Nikki. "No! Look at me! You're nothing but a devil. A devil!" shouted Veronica, inching closer to Sammi's face. Before having the chance to grip onto Sammi's bare arms, Nikki yanked Veronica down to the floor with no care if she got hurt.

"Don't fucking talk to her! You don't get to talk to her!" yelled Nikki at Veronica, scowling at her. Veronica laid flat down on her back, pouting up at Nikki. Nikki didn't care about Veronica's state of being in this moment, only wretched when Sammi appeared scared. "Leave her alone and leave me alone," Nikki said, grasping Sammi's arm lightly as he led them away from Veronica. Sammi couldn't help look back at Veronica, wondering if she had any idea of what was really happening. Nikki took Sammi to another empty hallway, the music almost a bit louder from where they stood. Sammi rested against the wall, unable to look Nikki in the eye even when she could feel Nikki's on her. "Got nothing to say?" asked Nikki.

"Thank you," mumbled Sammi, looking down at her feet.

Nikki scoffed, shaking his head. "Is that really all?" Sammi stayed silent. Nikki stepped closer to Sammi, lightly taking his hands to cup Sammi's cheeks, cradling her face. He brought her eyes to meet his, a loving brown meeting a foggy hazel. Just from the simple tough of something so innocent, a flush of pink stained Sammi's cheeks. Nikki couldn't help but crack a small smile, missing the sweet face. Alas, the unfortunate always comes. "I know you and Vince had sex," said Nikki, dropping his hands and stepping back.

"What?" uttered Sammi, lips parting in shock, deep wrinkles setting in between her brows.

Nikki only shrugged his shoulders. "I guess you aren't that great anymore to keep him around," said Nikki.

Before Sammi could say anything, Nikki headed straight for the front of the house, hands in his pocket as he ignored everyone. Everything came like a tsunami wave; all Sammi could see was red. Instead of beginning to cry, Sammi marched her way through the party, ignoring the calls of her name from Athena or Sabrina. When reaching the outside, Sammi was able to find Vince in a short second, making a fast b-line to him. Vince didn't pay any attention to his surroundings, talking to a friend by the pool without Hayley. Vince was soon heavily pushed into the body of water in a blink, drink flying out of his hand. When he came up to the surface, Vince was ready to fight until realizing Sammi was scowling down at him.

"Sammi, what the fuck!?" yelled Vince. Tommy and Athena were quick to run out to get Sammi, Sammi pushing away their grasps.

Hayley rushed to Vince's side. "What's wrong with you?!" asked Hayley.

"Why did you tell Nikki?!" screamed Sammi. "You promised!" Vince bit his lip, looking at everyone but Sammi. "Huh?!"

"Sam," whispered Athena, softly pushing her away from the edge of the pool. Tommy pulled Vince up out of the water, glaring right at him for answers.

"Why are you so mad you slept with me?!" asked Vince, Athena, and Tommy, eyes opening wide at Sammi.

"Because it was a drunk mistake!" shouted Sammi. She shook her head at Vince. "You didn't give a shit about me," spit Sammi.

"You had sex with Vince?" asked Athena, concerned. Sammi didn't give an answer.

Emma and Sabrina delicately put a hand on Sammi's shoulders, being the only people who didn't get shoved off. "Sam, we're going home," ordered Emma, grabbing her hand as she shot daggers at Vince. Sammi didn't protest, letting the girls engulf her in protection from stares. They didn't need anyone to judge Sammi as she was only a stranger to everyone. Mick had already left from the madness, knowing he would hear from the grapevine. Once the girls were in a cab, Emma turned to Sammi. "Are you finally going to talk to Nikki? And this time like adults?" Sammi only dropped her head against the fuzzy middle seat, nodding with another word.

[artistic-writer]

The Contract :: CS Omegaverse :: Ch 9

Title: The Contract Rating: E Summary: Emma had never wanted much in her life, despite being married to one of the richest men in the world. For ten years she has felt like a prisoner in her own marriage, denied the one thing she wants the most, but her husband cannot help but bargain her want like a cheap business deal.  Enter Killian Jones, the Alpha her husband has hired to make sure she gets what she wants. And then some.

AO3 - Ko-Fi (100% of coffee’s bought go towards buying @adognamedkillian toys and treats!)

A/N: Ok, so, full disclosure, the next two chapters will be mostly smut.  Those of you waiting for Graham to get what’s coming to him will have to wait a little longer. I’m sure you won’t mind the smut though, right?

Artwork by me, @artistic-writer and beta’d by the lovely @shardminds who deserve all the love you guys can throw her way. And as ever, thank you to all the ladies in Discord! Thanks ladies!

This is an Omegaverse fic featuring A/B/O dynamics.  Whilst this varies from fandom to fandom, for the purposes of my fic, there will be no mpreg.  Just so you know.  There will however be knotting, breeding, heats and other delicious things that come along with A/B/O.  If you do not know what A/B/O is, feel free to message me :)  Many thanks to @hollyethecurious @shardminds @kmomof4 @darkcolinodonorgasm @resident-of-storybrooke and @ineffablecolors for letting me bounce my complicated ideas of you lol

If you wish to stay away from this fic, blacklist the A/B/O tag.

Taglist:  I’ll be honest, i have lost my taglist for this fic, so if you want a tag, please message me here on on discord (Salem #5158/ itwontalwaysbelikethis@gmail.com) and I’ll add you!  I’ve tagged the following people i KNOW want to read this, but i don’t want to accidentally tag you if you do not like ABO.

@hollyethecurious @shardminds​ @kmomof4​ @resident-of-storybrooke​ @darkcolinodonorgasm​ @thisonesatellite​ @xemmaloveskillianx​ @hookedonapirate​ @teamhook​ @winterbaby89​ @carpedzem​ @courtorderedcake​ @profdanglaisstuff​ @itsfabianadocarmo​ @donteattheappleshook​ @ultraluckycatnd @jennjenn615​ @melly326​ @klynn-stormz @stahlop​ @tiganasummertree

——————————————————————————————

Killian didn’t sleep much when Emma was around. Instead, he liked to simply lie there and listen to her sleeping, soft snoring soothing the ache around his heart that often crept in during the early hours when he remembered she wasn’t his. Previously he would inhale the scent of her hair as she rested her head on his chest, enjoying the way that she smelled of him and he had thought it the closest thing to marking her that he could get. And he was happy with that until she had turned up to his apartment in the middle of the night with the biggest revelation about herself he could have ever imagined.

Emma wasn’t some lowly Beta woman crazed by an Alpha’s knot because she had experienced it a few too many times to simply slink back off to her husband. No, Emma was nothing of the sort. In fact, she was the answer to his prayers, the solution to all his worries that had miraculously appeared at the exact moment he had wanted her to. Emma was Omega, and Killian’s life had just become more complicated.

He wasn’t sure what it meant for her now. She wasn’t the same person she was yesterday, that was for sure, and she would need some time to adjust to her new body. Things would happen, things she should have experienced more than half her lifetime ago, thanks to some cruel suppressants and more than misguided Alpha thinking. The Humbert’s had, for whatever twisted reason, kept her constantly drugged and in a complete state of suppression, and all Killian could do was hope that Emma would have no residual effects.

He didn’t know what she wanted to do now, with the new information that she was someone she had never known. He knew what it meant for him. There had always been something about Emma that pulled him towards her, stroked the inner animal like it was some kind of pet. She owned him now, body and soul, whether she knew it or not. There wasn’t a single thing he wouldn’t do for her and he would fight tooth and nail to make sure she was always safe, including from him right now. A full rut could scare her away, so he would go as slow as he could, wrap her up in his arms and protect her for the duration of her heat. Protect her from other Alphas, protect her from the new world she was about to experience, and above all else, keep her safe from Graham Humbert.

The silvery light of the moon shone through the skylight in Killian’s bedroom ceiling as it reached its peak, resting high in the night sky against a glittery backdrop of bright white stars that twinkled around it like they were dancing. Their naked bodies were entwined, sheets cast aside in favour of each other being the only covering they needed that night, the moonlight bathing them both in a blue hue that helped Killian peruse the woman in his arms She had somehow become stronger than the woman he had left a few days ago, even in sleep she exuded a new presence, and it made Killian smile.

She was stretched out like a content cat along the length of his body, his fingers stroking through her sex messed hair so gently he was almost hovering his fingers over the shape of her skull. Her face was nuzzled into the juncture of his neck and where she had previously been stroking the softness of his chest hair, her hand had gone limp over the steady beat of his heart, and he had covered it with his own. He needed sleep, but he didn’t want to miss a single breath she took, his lips pressed permanently to her crown where he could inhale her brand new scent.

It had been becoming stronger as the hours had passed by, their first tie having soothed the crippling pain of her heat but a new wave of contractions and perspiration hot on its heels. Killian could smell it; in her hair, on her skin, on the wisp of breath that escaped her lips when she shifted position and her jaw dropped open, and he was addicted to the sweetness of it. It made him hard and he didn’t hide his arousal, the thought of making sure Emma was cared for and kept as safe as possible giving him an impossibly hard cock.

She shifted her position as if she knew, her hand slipping out from under his and hovering over the layer of hair that travelled down his torso. When she got to his waist, Killian growled, his entire body vibrating and his hips nudging his erection into her waiting hand. He felt Emma smile against his chest and she lifted her chin, inhaling the woody sea salt flavour of Killian’s skin, something too good not to taste with a quick dart of her tongue.

“You’re up,” Killian rasped, his fingers setting a steady pace as he tapped over the nerves at the base of her spine.

“Mmm, so are you,” Emma purred groggily, seizing his cock in her grasp. Killian gasped from the sudden contact, his surprise quickly turning to lust as, with a low rumbling growl, he scooped her up in his arms and flipped them over until she was trapped beneath him.

“I’m trying not to be,” Killian snarled, nuzzling her scent gland with the tip of his nose. “But, love, if you don’t smell like the most enticing thing I’ve ever encountered.” Killian made sure she knew exactly what she was doing to him. With a nudge of his knee she was open for him and a thrust of his hips had her slick coating his length, her breathy sigh like music to his ears.

“You want a taste?” Emma crooned, her voice unfamiliar to her own ears. When Killian looked up at her, the darkness in his eyes had turned them a stormy grey and Emma grinned like a cheshire cat. “You want to taste me, Alpha?”

Emma used his title without even realising it, the word slipping from her lips like it was the most natural thing in the world. She felt more alive than she ever had, like she had the most energy she had ever possessed, and her skin itched from how electric it felt against his. She needed Killian, on her, in her, and as his dizzying scent washed over her, another wave of slick between her legs had Killian clawing at her skin as he moved down her body.

“I’m going to fucking devour you,” Killian groaned through clench teeth, sliding further down her petite frame, leaving hungry kisses in his wake. “My sweet, beautiful Omega,” he breathed against her skin between kisses, his tongue darting out to taste the sugary sweat on her skin.

Emma was in heaven, a really lucid dream, or somewhere in between, and either way she really didn’t care. What Killian was doing to her body, his tongue like a cool balm on the heat of her skin, snaking its way towards the ache between her legs between feverish kisses that sent shivers wracking her spine, it didn’t bear thinking about. If she moved he held her down, intent on lapping up every inch of her flesh with a feral growl that made her yearn for him even more.

It was all new, not the emotional feelings because if Emma was honest she had been having those for a while, but the physical, real tactile presence that was Killian Jones. Before a few days ago, Emma thought he was something special, someone who could make her forget the bullshit of her own life, if only for a night here and there, but what Killian Jones was was something else. Every cell in her body reacted to his touch, his voice, even the way he looked at her, and she loved every single minute of it.

Killian reached his destination, the apex of Emma’s thighs and the gateway to his redemption. Her scent overpowered him, his eyes rolling in the back of his head and his lips quivering in gratitude to whatever Gods had seen fit to bless him with such a delightfully decadent Omega. He hadn’t even feasted upon her newly secreted Omega slick, and yet, Killian knew she would taste different. His cheek pressed to the inside of her thigh, scruff burning the skin there as he rubbed it back and forth, his lips curling into a lustful snarl on each inhale. Killian settled into position between Emma’s legs and helped her spread them even wider with two gentle hands.

“Hurry,” Emma panted.

“Easy, love,” Killian coaxed gently, nipping her inner thigh. “All in good time.”

His tongue was on her before she could muster anything but a whine and Emma’s entire body stiffened in pleasure. It was too much, like lightning striking her dead, flashes of white behind her eyes the only thing letting her know that she was still alive. Everything was more defined, her senses sharper, and when Killian’s skilled tongue swiped through her parted folds again, her hand flew down to clutch the hair of his head between her legs and he lifted his gaze to meet hers as she watched.

“Oh, my Omega likes to watch her Alpha consume her,” Killian noted with a smirk, keeping his eyes locked to hers, pupils blown wide with arousal as he deliberately lapped at her slick slowly with a wide, flat stroke of his tongue and with a hum of content.

“Fuck,” Emma hissed, grabbing his hair tighter and moving his lips to her clit. “There,” she whispered, her eyes falling closed and her fingers slipping from his hair, her head falling back onto the pillow when Killian obeyed.

“Oh, here?” He panted, hot, wet breath ghosting her sex, his fingers taking over teasing her, slipping through her slick and drawing hard circles on her clit with his newfound lubricant. He was grinning, jovially manic at the sight of her at his mercy and when she arched her back off the bed, angling her hips towards him with another heavy lidded stare, he gave her a dark smirk and a raised eyebrow. “Aye, right there, eh, love?”

She nodded and mewled in delight, her cheeks blossoming with a heat that was unseen in the darkness but felt like lava on her skin. Emma’s bottom lip rolled under her teeth as she watched him eat her like a man possessed, the moonlight shimmering across his shoulders as his muscles rippled each time he craned his neck in an attempt to dive deeper into her. She had no words, just the buzz in her ears and the vibrating of her skin, deafening her with arousal, but it wasn’t enough. She felt an immense need to fall, so painfully close to the edge of her orgasm like she had never known before, her body screaming on the inside for more.

“More,” Emma breathed, sweat beading across her chest, her hands slipping through it when she hungrily kneaded her breasts to try and ease some of the fiery ache burning her from the inside out.

“Yes ma’am,” Killian growled with a smirk.

He was willing to do whatever she wanted to make sure she was cared for in the way she saw fit. His cock was rock hard and his knot had already begun to push its way out of its sheath, the bedclothes a poor substitute as he ground himself down onto it with each swipe of his tongue as he doubled down his efforts. She was dripping wet, the light beard covering his face absolutely soaking wet from her nectar, her body producing much more that he could demolish before she was begging him for what she really wanted.

“Please, Killian,” she whined. “Please, Alpha.”

Emma’s heat had reared its head again, the needy creature dwelling inside of her finally breaking the surface of her subconscious with a distressed whimper that told Killian she needed something more. She needed the one thing an Alpha could give an Omega in such desperate times, her own body screaming at her to end her suffering with the delicious burn and stretch of a knot, and Killian was more than happy to oblige. He would happily leave the comfort of a fine meal to bury himself inside of her and give Emma the heat soothing orgasm her body really sought.

Killian sat back on his heels, kneeling between her wide open thighs, one hand lazily stroking himself to relieve some of the frustration he had pent up from his own rut. The fact that Emma’s heat and his rut had arrived together had not gone unnoticed. Even if she had stopped the suppressants of her own accord, it could have taken weeks before her heat arrived. The fact they were in sync meant something like they were destined, fated, soul mates even. Killian had never been so sure of anything in his life.

“You’re my Omega,” he purred darkly, moving closer to the apex of her thighs and easing the tip of his cock through her folds. “Only I can give you what you need.”

Emma immediately whimpered, her body crying out for more of him. “Yes,” she breathed.

Killian groaned, swiping his thumb through her slick, towering over her in a flash and slipping the digit into her mouth. Emma instantly sucked at his thumb, humming in appreciation for the new flavour of herself, like the freshest oranges, initially sweet but with a sour note that lingered on her tongue. Killian watched her, a wry, filthy smirk on his face.

“Say it,” Killian growled, barely able to control the tremor in his hand as he guided himself into her that little bit more.

“Alpha.” Emma let his thumb go with a pop and clamped her hands around his face, pulling his lips even closer than they were before, and letting her breath ghost his mouth. “Only you have what I crave.” The room was suddenly hot, the elevated temperature a combination of his rut and her heat, and Emma arched her back so Killian’s cock was sliding into her even more. “I’m yours.”

“Again, Omega,” Killian demanded, his voice like gravel and his lips hovering over hers with the tease of a kiss. With a forceful thrust of his hips, he was inside of her, back where he belonged, where he felt the most secure, and when she quivered with the finality of her pleasure, he nudged her nose with his to bring her back down to him. “Again, love,” he said more gently, coaxing her eyes open by brushing his thumb under her eyelids, and when they fluttered open and focused on him, he gave her a smile so endearing Emma thought her heart might explode.

“I’m all yours, Killian, I’ll always be yours.” Emma lifted her head and smashed her mouth into his, devouring him, drowning in the kiss that he returned with ardent passion. Tongues duelled, teeth clashed, and blood pounded in her ears, the taste of herself on his lips like a drug, instantly rendering her addicted. His body shifted again, pressing his slick coated cock into her and drawing a whimper from her lips that was so unmistakably Omega, his baser animal howled inside of him to claim what was his.

Killian fought his rut telling him to stay exactly where he was and slipped out of her with a groan, a sound that was mirrored by Emma’s own disdain, but she had no time to object before he was roughly grabbing her by the hips and flipped her onto her stomach. Emma squealed with glee but the sound was muffled by the pillow she had buried her face into, Killian’s pillow that overwhelmed her with Alpha scent and had her lifting her hips in an instinct she had only recently unlocked.

Killian smirked, beads of sweat clinging to his brow as he gave her arse a playful slap to each cheek and then buried his nose between them to taste her again. Emma shuddered when he inhaled, long and deep, like her scent was the one thing he required to survive. His tongue darted out to lick through her sodden folds once more, and Emma pushed back onto his face with a begging whine that roused him back from his hunger.

“Bloody hell, you’re such a good girl,” Killian growled, fearing he wouldn’t be able to hold back much longer, shuffling forward on his knees and lining himself back up with her heat. Emma’s muscles twitched at the welcome intrusion and she melted into the bed when his hands found her hips and pulled her back onto his cock at the same time he gave her a forceful thrust. “You do present so well for your Alpha.”

Emma had no words, just sounds of pure lustful pleasure as Killian finally began to move inside of her. It was everything she wanted, what her body craved the most, and it instantly soothed the fire in her blood. Each thrust was deep, long strokes of his marble hard cock that worked him up more and more with each one, his lips curling back in a feral snarl and his hands gripping the flesh over her hip as he fought to contain his instincts. His thighs shook, wiry hair pressing into the creamy skin of her behind, making sure that every inch of him was as far inside of her as he could get without knotting her, needing to feel the deepest innermost parts of her core hugging him like a cushioned vice that told him he was exactly where she wanted him to be.

He trembled to contain himself but there was no point because the second Emma stretched out like a dog in a play bow, the beast was free and he was gone. Heavy hands were on her back, clawing at her skin before Killian blanketed her with his bulk, one arm finding its way under her chin and settling around her neck. It was a tender embrace but also dominant, a true Alpha laying claim to what was his, and Emma’s elbows buckled under his weight, both of them collapsing to the sheet.

“Oh, fuck,” Emma whispered, her hand flying out to clutch at one of the wooden spindles of Killian’s headboard as his cock reached new places inside of her and his knot stretched her opening that little bit more. Her knuckles turned white from how hard she was pulling against it and with a splitting sound it broke under her assault, the shard of softwood cast aside in favour of Killian’s fingers when he skimmed his hand up her arm and dislodged it from her hold.

“Shh,” he soothed, lips next to her ear. He canted his hips, hard, and Emma stiffened a little with the welcomed pain that came from the stretch of his knot bulb threatening to enter her core. “I’ve got you, darling.”

With his words Emma relaxed, but the need was nowhere near sated. She needed all of him and arched her back, hips lifting in a silent plea underneath his weight that he interpreted immediately. He increased his pace, slipping in and out of her with ease, the wet sounds coming from between them adding to both their arousals. His whole body shook, each thrust finding a place further inside of her that threatened to hold him in place, the cacophony of moans and lustful whimpers that filled the room setting his rhythm.

Emma locked her fingers in his, the sound of her cries jumping higher in pitch, a sure sign that she was close, the pink tinge to her cheeks signalling her impending orgasm. She needed a knot, more than anything else in the world, and right now Killian was the only person who could give it to her. He quickened his pace even more, the sound of skin slapping skin now gone, instead, ragged breaths and Emma’s pleas echoing in Killian’s ears.

“Breed me, please,” she breathed out.

She turned her head sideways and shot him a pleading look, just before his hips jerked erratically against her arse, his now exposed knot pushed its way into her body and sent her rocketing for the sun where she would surely be burned alive. Emma’s orgasm triggered Killian’s and he emptied himself inside of her, his arm wrapped tightly around her and her scent gland pulsing so close to his mouth Killian could feel the thrum of it on his lips. As soon as they tied, his urges eased, but her scent was almost too overpowering to ignore and Killian closed his eyes and scraped his teeth over the gland in her neck ever so gently.

“Oh my god,” Emma whimpered, craning her head out of the way and allowing him more access. She didn’t know why she was just following her body’s reaction, her words slipping from her mouth before she realised what she was saying or doing, but when Killian had grazed her scent gland her inner core had fluttered around his knot and triggered another, weaker orgasm.

“Fuck, yes, mark me, Alpha.”

Killian’s throat closed up and he was struggling to fight his instincts. How was he supposed to? Emma, with a mile wide smile and a rosy post-coitus glow over her entire body, was both a blessing and a curse. She had no idea of what her words meant, less how her words would affect a rutting Alpha. Trust him to fall in love with an Omega currently married to a Humbert, one of the most powerful Alpha families in the world. It didn’t matter what Emma said during her heat because when a few days had passed and they were both back to their normal selves, he was certain she would be back in Graham’s arms, whether she wanted to be or not. She couldn’t have married into a more difficult family to try and escape.

Her content hum pulled him back to the now and back to her prone form beneath him, slowly wriggling. Killian eased the weight of his torso off her, supporting himself with an arm locked at the elbow on either side of her torso, the distance between him and her intoxicating scent gland easing his rut urges somewhat for now. He kissed her skin, a sheen of heat induced sweat slowly evaporating into the room, moisture collecting on his lips as he skimmed them over her shoulder blade with his own hum of appreciation.

She was beautiful, truly marvellous, and he couldn’t keep his hands to himself. Hard skin on his palms scuffed over the smoothness of her back, outlining the contours of her body. His lips followed, pressing quick but lingering kisses to her spine, each ridge tasting like the finest undiscovered delicacy when his tongue darted out between each one. Her whole skin was alive, buzzing with the faintest electrical undertones of euphoria, a pink blossom of a blush evident over her entire body.

“You smell good,” Emma hummed, peeking over her shoulder and enjoying the way Killian’s fringe fell over his face, the almost pitch black accenting his eyes which had returned to their previously Mediterranian sea blue.

“You taste good,” he teased, parroting her tone before licking the stiff tip of his tongue from the base of her spine to her neck, abruptly ending there and jumping to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth. “You always taste good,” he said with a grin, kissing her again.

“Do I taste different now?” Emma asked shyly but Killian’s senses were still overpowered by the freshness of the taste of her slick, so he gave her a quizzical look.

“Whatever do you mean, love?”

“Because of my heat,” she clarified with a little hesitancy.

“A little,” Killian told her, aware of the insecurities her heat would have inevitably brought with it. “And all the better for it.”

“You said you liked it before though, when I was...” Emma’s voice was suddenly small and Killian knew exactly why.

Being suddenly thrust into the world of being an Omega would be confusing for anyone. Just like most things in life, Killian knew that Emma would be experiencing some very strange behavioural instincts and some even stranger emotions. Her heat would have opened her self doubt, creating a needy mess of a creature who, without a family to help her understand what was happening to her, would be so bewildered. As an Alpha, Killian felt it his duty to show her being Omega was more than what she had previously known.

“Emma,” he began, licking his lips and taking a breath. “I know the last day has been confusing. I can only imagine how finding out something about yourself you have never known before makes you feel.” He paused briefly and when Emma gave him a little nod, he knew it was okay to continue. “But rest assured, as I live and breathe, you could never disappoint me.” He gave her a soft but adamant smile, brushing the hair aside that was blocking his view of her eyes and enjoying the way she rolled her shoulders in an attempt to have him touch her somewhere else.

“How do you know-?” She blushed, ashamed he could so easily have read her fears.

“You’re something of an open book, love.” He winked, flashing her a boyish grin. “And I’m here, for as long as you need, to help with any worries you might have, alright?”

“Alright,” Emma agreed.

It wasn’t long before her first questions came blurting out before she could stop them.

“Why did I-,” she stuttered. “Why did I ask you to mark me?”

“Ah, well-,” Killian began, pawing at the patch of skin behind his ear before she cut him off with a newfound confidence.

“What does it mean?”

“Well-.”

“Why would I say that?” Emma frowned to herself, drumming her fingers on the pillow beside her face.

“Love-.”

“And why didn’t you do it?”

Killian swallowed hard. Emma had no idea of the weight her words carried, so that was something he would need to address. He’d been asking himself the same question even though, really, he knew the answer. The connection of their bodies loosened and with a whimper of discontent from Emma, Killian’s knot receded and he slipped from her body. The loss caused her to roll over underneath him until she was settled on her back and Killian made sure she still felt secure by pinning her to the mattress with his weight. Emma wiggled from side to side with a salacious smile, making sure she could feel every inch of him pressing her down.

“I’ve got you,” Killian assured her again, kissing the tip of her nose. Emma’s hands found his face, pulling his lips to hers until he chuckled like a teenager in love and was forced to break the kiss to breathe.

“Why didn’t our tie last as long as when I was just a Beta?” Emma’s face was serious again, flashes of worry sparking in her eyes.

“So many questions!” Killian teased, bopping the tip of her nose with his pointer finger.

“I’m sorry,” Emma offered. “My mind is just racing.”

She blew out a breath on a sigh and without prompt, Killian knew exactly what would help her; a cuddle where she would feel safe and warm and loved. He pushed himself to his knees and the cold air of the room invaded the space between them, causing a visible shiver to ripple over Emma’s body. As quickly as he could, Killian urged her to the side, pulling back the thin sheet and slipping into the space in the center of the bed. Killian didn’t even need to offer Emma an invitation before she was curling up between his spread legs, resting her back to his chest and letting his arms encircle her once more.

“I know,” Killian offered sweetly. He kissed the curve of her shoulder before tucking his lightly scruffed chin into the crevice of her clavicle. “Might I suggest you write them down and once your heat and my rut are well out of the way, we can tackle them together?”

Emma nodded, interlocking her fingers with Killian’s and feeling a little more secure in her thoughts. She trusted him, and he was right; in a few days they would both be less distracted by each other and things would be much clearer.

“I’ll make us something to eat before we both starve, how does that sound?” Emma’s hum of agreement and the rumble of her stomach told them both Killian’s offer had arrived just in time.

“We have worked up quite the appetite,” Emma purred. She reached one arm behind her and looped it around the back of Killian’s head, urging his lips back to her skin for more of his addictive kisses.

“I don’t mean to brag, but I’m quite the cook,” Killian muttered into her neck.

“I’d like to be the judge of that,” Emma mocked sarcastically but as Killian continued his kisses a rather distracting tingle crept up her spine. “Maybe after a little more snuggling.”

Killian tightened his grip around her and his kisses drifted up the side of her face, his lips pausing on the corner of her bruised eye with a jaw clenching rage. He hadn’t forgotten how she had arrived at his place, and he wasn’t sure he would for a while, but in the past, every mention of her husband had caused Emma to close up or retreat, and that was the last thing he wanted for here right now.

Eager hands caressed her skin, massaging out kinks here and there that might have arisen from his eagerness to give her what she wanted. Killian wanted to make sure that Emma understood that being an Omega that an Alpha loved, looked at as more than a piece of meat to sate his own needs, was something to be treasured. It was something he knew she would never get from being a Humbert, a family renowned for its ruthless business exploits that nearly always spilled over into their private lives.

The window opposite the bed suddenly lit up with a dark orange glow as the sun began to rise over the horizon and began to bath the room in its light. Emma felt it on her toes first, the silent sun creeping up over the mattress and turning her skin a beautiful bronze as both she and Killian watched in comfortable silence, the sunlight inching its way up and over their bodies. When she shifted in his arms Killian let her, making sure she was comfortable again, shielding her most delicate parts with his hand and arms, shielding her skin from the sun.

“I’ve never seen a sunrise before,” Emma noted out loud, resting her head back on Killian’s shoulder.

“You haven’t?” Killian asked her, surprised. His words were slightly muffled between kisses he was still assaulting her body with, his lips soft and sparking all of her nerve endings to life each time.

“No,” Emma said with an idle smile. “It’s beautiful.” Almost lost in its marvel, she didn’t notice when Killian mumbled another question against her skin, only acknowledging him when he nudged her body playfully.

“I said,” he sing songed in response to her begrudged look. “Would you like to join me in the shower before breakfast? I think we both could use one.”

Emma pretended to sniff him and wrinkled her nose in mock disgust. “You definitely do,” she teased.

“Oi, cheeky!” Killian tightened his arms, muscles bulging against Emma’s and pinning her to him until she squealed a high pitched sound in his grip. He couldn’t really argue though, because neither of them had showered since she had arrived at his door, but both had been perspiring somewhat profusely since she had.

Emma let out a whine of protest when he moved out from behind her, never letting go of her hand as he stood beside the bed. He tugged her arm, pulling her closer to the edge and with a giggle, she rolled the distance between them across the soaking wet sheet. Killian’s eyes flicked over her naked form and he bit his bottom lip in appreciation as Emma scrambled to her knees and threw her arms around his neck, flattening her body against his. He felt her nipples hardened against his chest, his own body hair prickling to attention as she swayed her hips from side to side enticingly, deft fingers toying with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“No,” Killian scolded lightly, unable to hide his mirth because of his smirk. “Showers first,” he said softly, his mind thinking logically whilst his hands roamed the expanse of her lower back, fingertips teasing the swell of her behind with gentle kneading.

“Okay,” Emma agreed with a playful pout. Her whole body sagged and her hands slipped around his neck to his shoulders, her eyes fixed on them the entire time as they slid down the front of his thatched chest. A small whimper of longing slipped from her mouth and Killian laughed, not menacingly but in awe of her persistence. Unfortunately for her, he would need a little longer to recharge, so he hoped a quick kiss would distract her long enough for him to get her to the shower.

He leaned forward and closed the gap between them, his tongue finding the seam of her lips before pushing inside to massage her own. Goosebumps rippled over her skin and she smiled against his kiss, her fingers scratching down the contours of his chest with a content groan. His distraction worked and before Emma knew it, she was being hoisted into her arms and pulled tight against his chest, his heartbeat thumping in her ear. She let out a squeal, laughing in his arms as Killian carried her towards the doorway, the splintered edges of the frame inches from her skin as he tucked her in close and slipped through into the lounge.

His bathroom was to the left and he made short work of that door, using the heel of his foot to kick it open. Delighted, Emma squirmed in his arms, desperate for him to hold her down, or against the wall, she wasn't really that fussy as long as his hands were on her and he was showing her exactly what it meant to be loved by an Alpha, but it would have to wait. Killian reached the shower cubicle and Emma gave him a teasing smirk mid laugh.

“Better not kick that one down,” she giggled.

Killian growled a little, wrenching the door open and stepping inside, setting Emma down on the cold base and instantly missing the heat from her body against his. Emma barely had time to protest before he reached for the knob and the sound of water rushing through pipes filled her ears. She squeezed her eyes shut, dreading the chill from the spray that was inevitable, but it never came, and as the sound of water pooled at their feet, Emma peeled her eyes open to see Killian had positioned himself between her and the icy cold initial blast. His hands found her skin once more, skimming up the length of her arms protectively and when she met his gaze again, he was smiling at her.

“I’m here to take care of you, Emma,” he told her firmly but without an ounce of anything but love. “Will you let me do that?”

Steam began to swirl around them, the water clearly heating up, droplets running over the curve of his shoulders and beginning to dampen his front. Emma watched him, the corner of his lips ticking up into a small smile of assurance as he stepped aside and the flow of water hit her chest, stealing her breath and making her suck in a huge breath. Killian was suddenly behind her now, planting wet kisses along her collarbone and pressing his chest to her back, grounding her where she stood.

“Relax,” he whispered into her ear, nuzzling the flesh there with his nose.

Like he was controlling her just with the tone of his voice, Emma obeyed, letting the weight of her rest against the broadness of his chest. Suddenly his hands were on her, wide sweeps on his palms leaving bubbles in their wake as he lathered her body with soap. It was manly, like wood spice and bergamot, and Emma’s senses became overloaded with the smell that was so inherently Killian, her body ached for more of it. She spun around in his arms, hands clutching his face, pulling his lips to hers for another kiss, only this time the languid massaging of tongues made way for hungry gasps and the feverish biting of lips.

Killian hissed, pulling back slightly but Emma had a firm hold on his bottom lip, sucking the flesh until it stung with the pulsating of a bruise. She wasn’t letting go and when he opened his eyes in shock, the mischievous look she gave him made all the blood rush to his cock. Emma let go of his lip then, peeking down between their bodies at his length bobbing proudly against his stomach before giving him a sultry look through her eyelashes. Killian’s tongue darted out to taste his lip, no coppery tang to be found, before crowding her space and forcing her back against the cold, tiled wall. Emma gasped loudly from the chill, her heart taking off in her chest and her blood thundering in her ears in time with the pressured spray of the shower.

“You’re very insistent, Omega,” Killian growled, his forehead pushing against hers and his hands steadying her hips. He tasted his lip again, a feral growl rumbling from his chest. “And naughty.”

“I’m sorry, did I hurt you?” Emma looked up, meeting the darkness in his eyes with a carnal look of her own. He didn’t respond but she watched the tick of his jawline. “Let me kiss it better,” she purred, stroking the side of his face before crushing her lips to his once more.

Killian pushed back against her with a groan, hands grabbing the slippery globes of her arse and hoisting her into the air with an effortless strength that made the apex of Emma’s thighs hot and wet far more than from the water. She wrapped her legs around his waist, the shower spray beating down on the pair of them, his rock hard cock straining to find her entrance between them as she ground herself against his pubic bone and kissed him like he was her last meal.

Killian could smell her slick all over him, the water not dulling her one bit. The smell of her sweetness was back, coating his body as she hurriedly chased her insatiable appetite for him and her orgasm, teeth clashing with an urgency he thought they had left in the bedroom. He should have known better. Emma was a new Omega, experiencing all the world had to offer for the very first time, and at the very top of her buffet list was him.

“I need you again,” Emma begged between kisses, her body much hotter than the steam in the room. “Right here, right now.”

“So needy,” Killian mumbled with a smirk. He fumbled between them with a shaky hand, slipping his fingers between her folds just long enough to excite more slick from her, his eyes fluttering closed with sheer delight.

Emma loosened her vice like grip with her thighs and slipped down his wet body a little more. He gasped when she impaled herself on him with a satisfying arch of her back and a skin breaking scratch down his chest. Killian hissed again when the still hot water poured over his wound and the beast inside of him awoke, snatching her hands from his skin and slamming them into the tile above her head. The darkness in his eyes flashed with a feral spark, his cock throbbing inside of her, stretching the very essence of her wide open, and his knot aching in its sheath to press deeper into her.

“Yes,” Emma hissed, a pink hue spreading out over her breasts that heaved between their bodies. She began to move all by herself, riding him, rocking back and forth between what little space he had left between their bodies, taking her own pleasure in the steam filled cubicle. Killian let her, grinding his teeth with each forced thrust she made. “Oh, you feel so good, Alpha.”

Eager for her to feel every inch as sated as she could, Killian dipped his head with an open mouth and latched onto one of her nipples. He sucked slowly at first, savouring the taste of her, the heady scent generated between them as she balanced herself with a firm grip on his shoulders.

“Take it, love,” he growled, pulling the bud between his teeth and biting down. “Take my cock because you’d better believe that my knot is next.”

Emma whimpered, a cross between pleasure and pain, her head leaving the tile pillow to watch his assault of her tingling nipple. She arched her chest out more, desperate for his mouth on her but Killian released her breast with a pop, tongue laving her bullet like nipple one last time before his mouth jumped to hers, and he was gobbling up her ravenous moans again. She was like a fuel that had been poured onto the flash fire that burned inside of him so hot he thought his bones would melt right off his skin, and he needed every drop he could get.

Emma’s hands were on his face, nails raking through his stubble as she locked her ankles at the base of his spine, rolling her hips down onto him in an attempt to coax out his inner animal. With Killian early into his rut it wasn’t hard, and the sides of her smile pulled up into a smirk when he released his hold on her wrists, and, supporting her back with a wide, splayed hand, spun her around and under the spray. She cried out, her screech turning to a delightful laugh as Killian relented on his teasing and moved her out from under the cooling spray.

“Are you going to be a good Omega now?” Killian teased, rising up onto the ball of his feet and making sure she could feel him hot and hard inside of her.

“Yes,” Emma gasped. She ran her hands over Killian’s forehead, pushing his water flattened hair away from his face and grabbing a fistful of it with shaky hands.

“Are you sure?” Killian ground out, watching the minute muscle movements across her face as he rolled his hips into her again.

Emma bit her bottom lip and nodded feebly. “Yes, Alpha.”

“You won’t get my knot if you don’t,” Killian lied casually, smirking devilishly.

“No, please!” Emma whined, tightening her grip on him even more. The heels of her feet dug into his spine but he ignored the pain that ripped through him back because it pulled him impossibly deeper inside of her. “I promise, just please fuck me.” Her words were so quiet but Killian heard them as clear as day over the sound of the shower.

“Not here,” Killian said gruffly and when he reached to turn the water flow off, the realisation of his words sunk in.

Her heart dropped. She was so close to taking his knot she could practically feel it stretching her entrance, giving her what would naturally come next, but Killian had ripped it away with two little words. The look she gave him was one of pure betrayal and just when she was about to protest his actions and remind him of his promise, he was pushing open the cubicle door and the cold air was slamming into her like a freight train.

Sure footed steps carried them out of the bathroom, still intimately connected, his cock pulsing inside of her with as much protest for the pause as the Omega in his arms. Killian barged furniture right out of the way as he navigated the lounge, eyes closed and lips of her skin, promising her with more than words that she would get what she desired. He licked at her neck, her scent gland spiking and tempting him once more, a haze making his head spin with how hard he was fighting her body’s invitation, and almost causing both of them to topple over.

He dug his fingernails into the flesh of her behind, holding her to him, making sure she couldn’t get away from him even if she wanted to. Her slick made him falter a few times as he fought to keep himself seated inside her where her muscles massaged his length in just the right way, but eventually, he made it across the expanse of the apartment and with an echoing thump, slammed Emma into the freezing pane of glass that overlooked the city lights below. Skin still wet, she slipped across the pane, her skin instantly pulling tight with the shock of the sudden contact, her core clenching around his cock.

“Oh, love,” Killian gasped into her shoulder, her unexpected muscle spasm forcing him to hold her aloft with one hand whilst he pounded a flat palm into the tinted glass beside her head.

“You like that, Alpha?” Emma smiled salaciously and clenched around him again. She watched the muscle in his jaw tick with pride and when he lifted his head, roused by her fingers threading through his wet, jet black locks, not even the sunlight could chase away the feral twilight in his eyes. Emma grinned, knowing the answer immediately.

Killian tore her from the surface of the window and Emma yelped. He was more forceful than he had ever been with her before and she enjoyed it, revelled in it, wanted him to hold her down and fuck her into next week, so when he spun them around and dropped to his knees, holding her to him so she felt secure, Emma let out a purr of delight. Killian’s cock slipped out of her and she whined at the loss but his smirk told her that it wouldn’t be for long. He positioned her on a soft fireside rug that she hadn’t noticed when she arrived yesterday evening, the fibres soft like silky fur caressing the skin of her back. Emma welcomed Killian back between her thighs, practically pouting at him when he towered over her again, a slight apology in his eyes for the roughness of their shower departure.

“Are you ready for my knot now, Omega? Killian growled, thrusting himself back into her and enjoying the fresh wave of slick her body graced him with as she stiffened beneath him. He brushed his hand over her brow as she nodded, wiping the wet hair out of her face and watching her face contort with pleasure that he knew only he could give her. “Because, love, if you aren’t going to get it.”

“Fuck, yes,” Emma hissed.

She hitched up her knees, aided by a push from Killian. She needed more of him, every inch in every direction, stretching her to the limits of her pleasure. His head in the crook of her neck made her shiver and when he bit down on the round edge of her shoulder, teeth scraping her flesh with just a tad of hesitation, her nails dug into the flesh of his back, marking a new line parallel to his spine. It made him grunt, his hips rutting her into the floor, the rug offering very little cushioning for his amorous thrusts, but she loved it.

The rug was soaked, her body reacting to him with every cant or roll of his hips. One of his hands found the curve of her hip, holding her still, taking his own pleasure must faster now that the soft whimpers coming from her mouth had turned in the breathless screams. Her name and his title fell from her lips over and over, spurring him on, and with one final push, his knot slipped inside of her and tied them together, his rut and her heat colliding in the most beautiful eruption of colour behind both their eyes.

Killian clenched his jaw so tightly as he came, sending wave after wave of come deep inside of her, not a second thought as to any of the consequences. As far as he was concerned, in that moment, with or without the mark of him on her neck, she was his. His.

“Mine,” he panted, nudging his nose into the side of her face.

In the hazy aftermath of her orgasm, Killian felt all of Emma’s aches and heat related pains fade away. She was happy, really happy, and the smile on her face was the unlike one he had ever seen before; and he’d done that. She was radiant and he couldn’t think of a thing he wouldn’t do for her. She meant everything and as her heavy eyelids fluttered open and she looked up at him with the green eyes he had fallen in love with so hard, he couldn’t help but smile back.

“Emma, I-,” he began but she cut him off, her hands on each side of his face and her words making his stomach fall away into oblivion whilst simultaneously swelling his heart like a balloon.

“I love you too.”

[emekaemy]

I used to look down on Mikasa Eren shippers, as I found the ship so cliche and sister brotherly. But strangely, it was this infamous chapter, 112 which made me rethink about their relationship. This chapter has showed that their supposedly sibling-like (?) relationship is more complicated than it seems.

The emotional density of Eren's speech in 112 made me doubt about him seeing Mikasa as a sister. Whether the feelings are positive or negative- I believe a person can not hold those strong feelings towards someone in his sister's position. During the talk, Eren seemed to experience too much tension to be platonic. This way of talk can be adressed to an ex- girlfriend when you know she has feelings for you but somehow she hurt you and you want her to be hurt as well. Because you know that she loves you and she will be hurt.

If Eren really thought that their relationship was only the Ackerbond, he wouldn't tell all these to break her heart. And Mikasa wouldn't be deeply hurt. He well knows that what Mikasa feels for him is more than a robotic tie and she is a young lady who has feelings for him. Eren sure knows this.

Especially one part of 112 drew my attention:

Mikasa: It was all because of you Eren. You saved my life and put this scarf around me-

Eren: I TOLD you to put your hands on the table!!

I think her sentence about the SCARF hit the very soft spot of Eren, her talk was getting too intense for him to handle the situation, he was scared of showing emotion and changed the talk about their memories by cutting her off harshly. I think the harshness of his reaction to Mikasa's sentence gives him away. (Please read ch 121, Eren's fragility while he's watching the scarf memory.)

His hate confrontation was quite passionate. To me, Eren had never looked like some rude opposite gender as he did in chapter 112. I thought I was not reading a seinen, it looked like a scene from a different genre of manga.

It's possible that after Mikasa's almost kiss&confession, Eren's puberty started (LOL) and it could be the very first moment he saw her in a newlight. But later on he was shocked and disappointed because of the Ackerman past. So, his intention was to break her heart as a revenge. (Some say he was just acting in order to break the Ackerman curse but nobody can act that well and Eren was overwhelmed with emotion, he was glaring!) Still, deep inside, he's aware that Mikasa loves him. There's no way Eren forgot what happened between him and Mikasa in ch 50, Dina Fritz scene.

During his absence, though his mind was busy, Eren still must have contemplated on Mikasa and the nature of his relationship with Mikasa.

We don't know if he will show his real motive and apologize, or he is just telling the truth. We know nothing yet. But the moment itself appeared to me that Eren has (or one time had) feelings for Mikasa. The dialogue didn't seem to me like two siblings' bickering. This chapter is the turning point (though it consists of insult and supposedly negative feelings) where I perceived Eren a male and Mikasa as female. (I know this may sound weird.)

They grew up together as play friends (age 9–10) and after the Colossus they bonded for 6 years. Although they had been bickering and bitter sweet there hadn't occured any big change in their relationship for many years. Except ch 50, It had been stable. (Their fans were frustrated because not much happened in 3 seasons yet, they were too young: 9–15 years old, two orphans, especially Eren with PTSD - too immature to feel that way) So I claim that there had to be a huge earthquake moment between them. (Sadly, not leading to a positive way, instead, to a seemingly negative direction for their shippers)

We can be sure that chapter 112 won't be their final interaction. Even if Eren's harshness may continue for a while, they need to face with each other more openly, before Eren dies. (Hopefully he doesn't)

Nobody who can feel wants such a terrible goodbye to the girl he cared.

If this notorious moment is explained and solved in a good way, I have a hunch that their relationship won't be the same. In other words, their bond may deepen into another aspect. Only something reversely positive and heavier can change this, that red scarf has to be rewrapped around her neck by the same person, if you know what I mean. But I'm really curious how Eren will react to the absence of the scarf when they come face to face, if they ever make up.

The- hate you - moment may lead to a change of their long time undefined relationship. They seem to have entered into a different path. In season 4 (and in the flashbacks where Mikasa learns she is royal and when in railway Eren is talking about whom to hand over his power) Eren really behaves like a young man and acts emotional about or around Mikasa. Especially the railway flashback: They stare at each other and blush! There is no need to mention what kind of emotions do cause blushing…

When season 4 is animated, adult Mikasa and Eren's chemistry will be even more distinguishable.

I like the chapter 107, when Historia laughs at Mikasa: Why did you show your wristband only to Eren? And Eren is almost sneering : So what? Eren must have felt that Historia is the embodiment of the audience shipping them. She may have looked like a giggling high school girl. He and Mikasa have given a big piece of gossip to her. Eren's amused expression continues even in the next panel.

Some people shipping Historia and Eren may think Eren is annoyed at Historia for pairing him with Mikasa. But I perceived it a funny moment where Eren was amused at the fact that because of a girly instinct, Historia knew there was something going on between him and Mikasa.

With the commotion in 112, the author has also created some material and reached to a path to make a drastic change in the relationship. I know he hates cliche romances, but with 112, their relationship is now far from being cliche. It has become rather complicated.

I'm almost glad to read 112. Though it was harsh, Eren and Mikasa had their moment. He is sure to have gained emotional depth. To feel something (love or hate) requires emotional depth. Between the ages of 9 - 15, Eren was neutral to all the girls in the series but only Mikasa, a caring, sibling-like figure, was different.

However, she is still different from other girls in his perspective: this time being the figure he supposedly hates, the figure whose heart he intentionally breaks. Gosh, these are very strong vibes, hinting to a reverse position in which his love could be very strong just the same.

In the 4th season when they are drawn side to side, one can feel the chemistry. Mikasa and Eren do not resemble to siblings anymore.

Their shippers must be devastated after 112. I, who despised the ship must admit that I'm now on the verge of shipping. I believe that we will be seeing the red scarf one more time. Its role hasn't finished yet. 

Besides, I can't imagine a situation in which Mikasa is in love with another guy and Eren is OK with this. He can not handle being the second important man in her life.

From the interviews, I get that the author respects Mikasa so much that he does not feel like setting her as the hero's girl. And this is one of the reasons he opened the way for her independence. But being independent doesn't necessarily mean abandoning your beloved ones.

Besides, If Mikasa was his love interest in the beginning, her character would be ruined. But the manga is coming to an end. So, if something gets real, it won't ruin Mikasa. Her character depth and her charisma have already been confirmed in many chapters.

They love each other very much. She is clearly shown to have romantic feelings for him. They are not siblings. So I believe, one day Eren will be more open to her and assuming he survives, they will be together.

From now on, we will have an independent young woman and a young man. He had already announced his independency, then she threw away her collar as a sign of her independency. Hopefully, we won't be seeing Mikasa protecting and sticking to him like a mother or an older sister.

I don't want to sound too optimistic. The title question is: does Eren have feelings for Mikasa? And my answer is yes, he does.

Unfortunately, they probably won't kiss or confess, contrary to how the shippers expect. I think it will only be implied to the reader that their feelings are more than platonic and it's all. This could be the best scenario. Still, one can not blame the shippers. It was the same author who created the characters, their bond and wrote their beautiful moments.

As a conclusion; the look on his face, especially his narrowed eyes in ch 121 show whatever Eren feels for Mikasa is rather strong.

Although the chapter showed his eyes generally large with wildness, in this image he is stuck between a sad smile and a cry.

Yes, he is overwhelmed with emotion, again. Whether he says he hates her or sees himself wrapping the scarf around her, he is overwhelmed. When our subject is Mikasa, he is just too overwhelmed with strong feelings.

Everybody says Eren went through so much character development and became very mature in the 4th season. Just the same, this Eren can feel deep love towards a young woman who has always been there when he needed. And her name probably starts with M.

[theshijlegacy]

6.2 thoughts & stuff

J’iro once again got the honor of being my first toon through the latest content.  Spoiler city below the cut!

Okay.  Anyone at Bioware or any Bioware-adjacent companies, if you’re listening or can get this message to them somehow:

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GROGU CAN WE STOP FIGHTING THE SAME TWO GUYS FOR A WHILE?  I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THE EMPEROR AND DARTH MALGUS TO LAST ME A LIFETIME.  IT’S BEEN 9 FUCKING YEARS.  CAN WE *PLEASE* MOVE ON?!?!?!????

*ahem*

Now that I got that out of the way...

Yeah, I am totally over Tenebrae/Vitiate/Valkorian popping up in Yet Another Goddamn Form Because He’s The Emperor And Fuck You.  All of the cameos at the end of the final-no-really-we-mean-it-this-time fight (Syo!  Suri!  Master Surro!  etc!) were cool, but I’m so done with this guy I all I could think was “oh hey it’s GamemasterAnthony’s Birthday again.”  And killing every form of the Emperor at once felt a lot like the ending of Season 1 of Legends of Tomorrow, when they had to kill Vandal Savage in three time periods to finally get rid of him.  (...maybe that’s not the best analogy, since he popped up again in a later season.   oh fuck now I’ve done it)

As far as other reappearances go:

Revan. I actually said “this motherfucker AGAIN?” out loud when he showed up.  Not quite as tired of him as I am of the Emperor, but let’s give this dude a rest, PLEASE.

DARTH MARR!  One of the few characters I don’t mind seeing pop up again, because he’s always been way too good for everyone around him.

Meetra Surik!  In non-ghost form!  I am down for this.

Vaylin/Thexan.  Mixed reviews on these two.  First impression, “didn’t we settle their shit in KOTET Ch 9?”  Thought it was really nice that you could finally apologize to Vaylin; doesn’t quite make up for how badly she got treated but it’s something.  Seeing Arcann and Thexan fight together was pretty cool.  And of course I took the [Flirt] option with Vaylin.

Satele.  The only one we knew would come back.  Nothing unexpected, I guess, but THANK YOU for not killing her off.

That final fight, when you get all those temporary abilities for your buddies?  I got click-happy and just hit whichever one was off cooldown.  XD  Way too much happening for me to do much other than “take cover, shoot, shoot, Hightail It to get out of shit, repeat.”  I’ll have to take a closer look at the abilities on a later run.

Disregarding my feelings about That Fucking Guy coming back again, the story was pretty good.  The ship that Satele and her students were on was appropriately creepy, and I do like that the Hand and the Scions - possibly the most fanatical of That Fucking Guy’s followers (aside from those poor Zealots stuck on Nathema) - were the ones to find it.  And then we got to trip balls inside Satele’s head!  Another appropriately creepy locale.  Between the ship and the mindscape I spent damn near the whole run waiting for some creepy shit to jump out.  A+ mood, can’t wait to freak myself out again.

The new flashpoint definitely had me hooked (despite the excessive trash mobs) - it’s really too bad that it’s bugged, I want to see how things go with Marshal Kol!  Cool concept, cool layout, cool new character.  A bit of platforming to get your heart rate up, and later an intentional huge drop to REALLY get your heart rate up, and lol I’m a Gunslinger so I’ll just Hightail It away from the tentacles.

The best part about the new stuff?  The visuals.  The look of everything was fucking top-notch. 

The creepy-ass ship that had a lot of STUFF in it, crates and supplies and a whole crapton of other things you’d expect in a ship that’s on a journey of indeterminate length.  The members and minions of The Hand, lots of distinctive looks in faces and armor yet still unified.  The overall feeling that something here has gone horribly wrong.  

Satele’s mindscape that was its own unique thing, and still had echoes of other places - KOTET Ch 9 of course, but also KOTFE Ch 2, KOTFE Ch 12, and the Raptus & Calphayus fights in Dread Palace.  The stark contrast between the dim rocky landscape and bright memories of Tython.  The creepy mobs.  Lots of places to fall to your death, several times.  Even the little glowing bits (fungi?) felt not quite right.

The ships in the Spirit of Vengeance!  More ships that felt lived-in; lots of supplies and weapons and mobs (even if you have to fight a billion of them.)  Again, a super-cool layout overall.  And I could have spent hours just looking around The Fortune’s Folly!  (To-do for future runs - cheevo hunting!)

Overall, mostly good, and as always I’m eager to see how things turn out with different characters.  J’iro romanced Akaavi, sided with the Republic on Iokath & Ossus, and rejoined the Republic at the end of Onslaught so he’s now Commodore.  It’ll be fun to see how this goes with a Force-user, a Saboteur, an Imperial-aligned toon, a Theron/Lana/Kira/Scourge romancer, etc.

[marvelsavenue]

Sweet Little Mystery Ch. 1

pairings: steve rogers x reader

summary: y/n’s internship will take place at the stark tower. she has no idea there’s something as crazy as a supernatural team of people flying around in the city. steve is one of those avengers trying to save the world and bring justice to those where it is needed. steve and y/n happen to bump into each other on a night out. they hit it off right away, unfortunately they are torn apart with no way to contact one another. a series filled with lots of love, friendship, mystery and betrayal.

author’s note: hi guys! this is a new series i’ve been writing on. i’m gonna take you all the way back to the first avengers movie, this is where the timeline for my series begins and it will end somewhere passed endgame. this will be a very very long series. both the reader and steve will have multiple partners so please don’t butcher me when that happens. lol. the reader has no idea steve is captain america so this will be interesting. the first few chapters will be a little boring since i still have to introduce some characters. bare with me please!! enjoy!

warnings: swearing, drinking, mentions of blood but nothing too serious

------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been a while since you went out for some drinks however, today was the perfect opportunity. You couldn't believe your eyes this morning when you received an e-mail from your rector saying you were accepted for an internship at the Stark Tower by none less than Tony Stark himself. You weren't exactly a fan of the man, but the work he's done and put out there is a completely different story. He's a genius. Not to mention how amazing this internship would look on your future application letters.

It had just passed 9 PM when you could hear your best friend Maria's Mercedes pull up. You were still applying some finishing touches to your makeup. You grabbed your coat and purse, stepped outside and locked the door behind you. "Get in, loser. We're going drinking!" Maria yelled, obviously hyped up. You couldn't help but feel a little jealous of her. She's always had a good life. Maria never had to juggle two jobs at once, not even one. You had to work 10 times harder for the things she just got handed down by her parents. Your mom died when you were six years old and your dad ran off with another woman. Your aunt took you in as her own. She meant the world to you. She gave you everything she could afford. Until she died two years ago from cancer, just like your mother. You had no place to go or run to when her ex-husband threw you out of the house. No shelter, no food and no money. You entered the first fast-food restaurant you came across and asked for a job. You still work there to this day. Life's been tough on you, but you never backed down and were proud of the woman you'd become.

When you arrived at one of the local bars the place was packed with students like yourself and Maria. Everyone was either celebrating their grades or drowning themselves in regret and beer for not studying hard enough. Maria pulled you with her to the bar, eyeing the bartender. "Hey! Can we get two shots of tequila here please?!" She shouted. "Maria! You know tequila turns me into one hot mess!" You nudge her shoulder, frowning. She rolled her eyes. "Y/n, darling". Please just enjoy tonight. You got the Stark internship. You are allowed to be one hot mess tonight." The bartender placed two shots of tequila in front of you. You couldn't help but giggle, raising your glass into the air. "You're absolutely right. Here's to the Stark internship!"

Two hours and about 12 tequila shots in you and Maria are downright wasted. Unfortunately, Maria went home with some guy she knew from way back when and left you stranded at the bar. So much for being a good friend, you thought. You got up from your seat but immediately regretted the decision. You fell face-first to the ground, something was dripping down the side of your face. Fucking great, y/n. You really outdid yourself. Not only did you fall but you dropped your drink as well. "Hey, are you okay?" You looked up to see who would dare be associated with you after your performance you pulled off just seconds ago. He was beautiful. Tall. Dark blonde hair. Ocean blue eyes you could drown in. If you had stared a little longer you'd probably gotten lost in them. "What's your name?" He asked in a worried tone as he pulled you up from the ground. "M-my-" You tried, you did but the pain took over and you were unable to say anything else. "Doll, you're bleeding." Without hesitating he grabbed a towel from behind the bar and pressed it against your forehead. "I'm Steve. If you allow me I'd like to take you to the hospital." All you could do was nod, Steve didn't waste any time and drove off to a nearby hospital.

When you arrived you both sat down in the waiting room. Sobering up after the nurse already gave you some painkillers for the headache memories came flooding back to you. You were so embarrassed you couldn't help but hide your face in the palm of your hands. "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you back there. I was there with a friend but she left me stranded at that damn bar." You glance over at him, biting your lower lip. He smiles, running his hand through his hair before giving you an amused look. "Hey, no problem at all. I'm not judging. What's your name, sweetheart?" You immediately turned red after realizing you still hadn’t given your name to him. "My name is Y/N." You said. "That's beautiful. I wish we met under different circumstances but it's nice meeting you, Y/N." He took a strand of your hair that was hanging over your face and placed it behind your ear. "T-thank you, Steve. It is Steve, right?" Steve smirked, gazing into your eyes. "I'm glad you remember that part. Would you like some water?" Ugh, yes. You needed water. You felt so dehydrated you thought you were about to pass out. You accepted his offer. "Alright. I'll be back in a minute." He got up, looking over his shoulder, shooting you a smile. Wait, was that a wink? Did he just wink at you? He definitely did. Steve disappeared down the hall, looking for water. "Miss Y/N?" You glanced up as one of the nurses said your name. You raised your hand just when she noticed you. "Follow me, please." You were panicking because Steve hadn't returned yet. "I - I'm just waiting for my friend to return so he can come with me." The nurse let out an irritated sigh. "M'am, if he's not a relative he's not allowed to come with you. Now follow me, please. There are more patients that need my help." You hesitated but knew you needed to be stitched because the gap wouldn't stop bleeding. You took one last look down the hall to see if he had returned yet, but no Steve insight. You stood up and followed the nurse into another room. You had no clue what Steve's last name was nor did he know yours. You had no number, no address. You still needed to thank him for bringing you here and taking care of you. Were you ever going to see him again? You hoped you would.