#on account of the fact that i have very little personal experience to actually draw from

[amf-studios]

Hello. Please answer this. I think it's important these get adressed. me and others of this community have been getting uncomfortable with some of your art. While I see nothing wrong with the Fankai, the rest of it has caused issues for people. First, there is the Natsuki fanfic. While I personally don't have much issue with it, there are some who feel very uncomfortable with their comfort character (Nate) Being changed in such a drastic way, and believe a separate community should be made for that art, as some people have gotten to the point of self harm from seeing their comfort characters changed so much. Next, there is uncomfortable undertones to your "Damonate" Fanfic. It seems very "Loli" esque, with a childish hundred year old woman being with a child. Then there is the sexual undertones to some of the natsuki art, particularly the maid outfit with Arachnia. This is to some extent sexualization of a minor. Then, there is the inequality in the amount of transmasc and transfem characters you draw. 90% of your characters that are trans are transfem, and barely any are transmasc. Then, finally, there is the softcore Arachnus and Toadal Dude art. While nothing is showing, it is very clearly provocative and you have a mostly minor fanbase. I believe that art should be on a separate account.

If you could adress these, it would be good. Thank you.

OK, guess we're doing this.

I've heard a decent few people say they find my natsuki au uncomfortable. I will only say this: no one is making you interact with this content. If you don't like it, just scroll.

I haven't heard anything about the self harm until now, but in my honest opinion; "self harm over someone else doing fanon stuff with a fictional character is indicative of a much larger issue." I say this not to undermine the struggle with self harm, as I have dealt with it myself in the past, but I cannot stress this enough, a random person on the internet's visual fanfiction should not be cited as the reason for that.

Onto the damonate issue. The yokai watch Fandom needs to realize it is a Canon fact "YOKAI DO NOT AGE THE SAME AS HUMANS"

Toiletta is 70 and still a little girl, enma is 60 and acts like a teenager til about shadowside. It is clear that the immortality of being a yokai affects how one matures, so their chronological age does not automatically make them an adult.

And with Damona, she is arguably *very much a child.*

The only time in the games where she is actually treated as a character, she is primarily characterized as a daddies girl who feigned being emotionless in order to get her dad to spend time with her. 2

(I have not seen any full episode of her in the anime, but what I have seen doesn't really disprove the above point.)

On top of that, damona received a redesign in shadowside, the sequel series where Nate himself is an adult.

And it is incredibly clear, she has also matured in this time skip. I don't know why she ages so much in 3 decades when she's at least 190 by the first game, but here we are.

Yokai age is inconsistent, but Damona is one of the more clear-cut examples of being a child.

Onto the maid point: yeah, kinda. I didn't really realize the unfortunate implications until *after* I posted the art. But I do feel that of any maid outfits I could have chose, I used some of the tamer ones as not a lot of skin is really shown on the drawing, or the characters I pulled them from. (The joke with Entoma is specifically that she *isnt* conventionally attractive)

Unfortunately maids in general have been sexualized to hell and back along with a number of other female specific outfits.

On the transmasc point: I actually agree. Mostly cause I use my own experience as a base for making content, and I just don't really have a lot of transmasc headcanons I jive with.

I have tried to rectify this with the oc Toransu being specifically a transmasc character, but I could definitely be doing more.

And on the final point: I will just make it clear here

I AM NOT HERE TO BABYSIT YOUR KIDS.

Social media generally has rules against those younger than teen years making accounts for a reason.

I know kids will lie about their ages to circumvent this, hell *I* did that when I was younger. But it still remains: it is a parents responsibility to track what their children are doing on the internet. Not the random fanartist who makes funky ghost content. If kids are coming across content I have explicitly flagged for my older audiences, that is the parent's responsibility.

I see no point in making a separate account for something I've basically only done once and don't really plan to do often. Even if I did, I've been told my style is very easy to recognize. Meaning by all accounts, I'd likely still hear someone bitching about me doing it.

And while it wasn't a point in this comment, I might as well address it: it's been brought to my attention that people are evidently accusing me of being "a proshipper"

I have never been able to actually understand that whole "pro vs anti" debate, and every attempt to get an answer has just left me confused.

All I will say on that is incest and pedo shit is gross. Apart from that, ship whatever you want, and for fucks sake don't get on people's case for ships you don't like for no reason. There are better uses of your time.

Sorry for the full rant.

[bluishfrog]

HAPPY 1-YEAR OF DRAWING ANNIVERSARY TO ME!

(Warning: slightly longer post incoming cause sometimes I gotta be a sentimental bitch ok? So let's go on a little trip down memory lane.)

This day, a year ago, I made my very first fanart. It was dnf (if that surprises you, then welcome to being on my blog for the very first time). I drew a little frog face too so I could use it as a watermark (fun fact: I still use that very same first one).

I immediately put my drawing up on twt because I told myself that I wasn't gonna be afraid of having people see that I was at the very beginning of this journey and had no clue what I was doing. That instead of being bad at art, I was gonna be awesome at being a beginner who doesn't know shit.

I started with little doodles and silly comics and then I laughed way too long when the first drawing of mine that gained some attention was a dnf butt joke. At the time I was trying to balance shipping and non-shipping art so I didn't even draw dnf that much but in hindsight it's probably the only possible way this could have gone.

At the very end of August I woke up to @honelle56 caps-locking at me in my messages - I was very confused and tired (I am no morning person and I will never be, fuck off with your mornings) because Dranart liked my drawing of singing Dream. Dranart was my 17th follower on twt which is a useless yet extremely funny fact about my time on that hellsite.

I also drew human!patches because a) patches was and will always be my favorite dteam member and b) it was a really cute trend and while I do love drawing dream, george and sapnap, I was also quite happy to try drawing anything but a white man for once. And I really liked how the drawing turned out.

Much, much later, I tried to draw my first slightly more realistic looking drawing. I was extremely confused on how to draw anything like this. Especially their hair gave me tons of trouble but given my experience, I think it's not a bad attempt.

When hijacked smp started I obviously wanted to participate, and I drew c!blu who doesn't associate with any side in particular but instead serves soup to everyone who visits her tavern 'The Soup House'. She also wants to be paid in stories from all around the map.

One of the events I was most excited about was dnf week. I even collaborated with two talented writers and I drew the corresponding art for two fics.

(Fun or not so fun fact: when twt had like three hundred collaborative aneurysms about the situation at that moment, that was when I created this tumblr account. I didn't use it super actively (I guess I needed another situation to fully make the switch) but I at least started the account that now developed quite a bit since then.)

I didn't really draw at all through January and February and I actually kinda thought I would move on from that hobby and fandom (not because of negative feelings, just because I didn't really have the urge to create anything within this fandom) and then situations happened and now I am here; and for some reason that is beyond any logic and my understanding I am now even more insane about dteam.

Wild to me but we are rolling with it now, I guess.

Since I got here, I drew more than ever (I actually think I might have made more drawings in the month since I got here than I made the whole rest of the year). There's just such an active and funny community here that cares about fan works for the sake of creating and not just because a CC might see it.

Unfortunately, Tumblr won't let me add more than 10 images in one post (maybe fortunately for everyone who has this monstrosity of a post on their dash). So if you want to see all the progress I made since I got here, you can look at everything in my art tag. For now, I will close this post with one of the art works from the past month that I like the most:

Can't wait to see what the next year might bring :)

Love, blu

[itsquakey]

Q&A Time!

I haven't done a Q&A in a while so let's bang out some asks from the askbox and answer them.

Without really saying much, things have kinda gotten better, but I am def in a hole right now from multiple pretty saddening things happening to me all within a month. I'm having a lot of issues drawing but I don't think it's burnout-more likely I'm just a sad lump. I'm sure I'll improve though once the year finishes us.

Kind of...I plan to make either a epilogue for Revenge of Pike Knight or an entirely different comic about his process of letting go but also forgiving himself for her actions. He never goes back to being sweet bandana waddle dee but she does manage to loosen up as time goes on.

Mago gets stripped of any and all power that the average doomer doesn't have. So yea. He's a little guy you could punt like a football.

It's honestly really hard to say what my favorite food is, as I am someone who struggles with food (I blame it on the fact I almost died of starvation as a toddler and it ruined my entire digestive system but who knows it could be crappy genetics too). However here are some foods I enjoy that people may like! (Recipe Links are in the names)

Banoffee Pie: I usually like it without the bananas though, they are too soft texture-wise for me so it's really more Toffee Pie. Just remember if you are making the toffee from scratch that it is basically like making a bomb and you HAVE to make sure timing is correct otherwise pressure will build and either you will die or your kitchen will get a nice brown coat of sugar-paint (Personal experience here).

Chocolate Souffle: I always have this for my birthday so it's a fond treat. It IS a souffle though, so it's very hard to make if you do not have the experience.

Quiche: I love quiche, it's something that is eggy but also a pie and I can eat it any time of the day. I usually like just cheese in it but meats and some small greens are also good.

And finally- Zucchini Brownies (Or just walnut brownies): Which I actually haven't had in a while but man am I craving them. They sound weird but you can't taste the zucchini and it brings a nice dampness to the brownie.

When Powehi was little his sisters loved to tease him even though he would give little to no reaction. They seemed to have a decent relationship as children but I would not be surprised if Powehi doesn't really like his sisters a whole lot when he's an adult. They're still as annoying as before but now they act more like their father (a pet peeve of his). However they are still his sisters at the end of the day, so he puts up with them.

Since I don't know if I have the post up anymore- ANY FANART OR INTERPRETATIONS/INSPIRATION OF MY WORK IS OKAY. If it is fanart or is heavily based off my work all I need is name credit or an @/. If you @/ me, there's a very high likelihood I will see it and reblog it!

As someone who worked with various animals including tarantulas for a while- I love them. I love their fuzz and their little claws and paw pads and the fact they're chill (but at the same time very anxious) little dudes. I think they get a bad rap but they're nice.

If I remember correctly, the death of Meta Knight comic was originally artist trolling. Yes, I made the comic to purposefully get a reaction from you all and laugh evilly while you cried over his death. However that comic is the backbone of Nextgen and I'm glad I made it.

Yes, I will get to that art eventually. I'm just taking my time for reasons. I will/am also uploading art that is old but was never released on my account. Eventually once all the old art is posted new art will start up again.

Meta works his way up the ladder to become a Reaper. Not really spoilers but his design will be brought back soon. But yes, he can still see his friends with the help of Morpho. Also Galaxia shattered in the death comic, so she's long gone as well but returns to Meta in the afterlife at some point.

Dedede ain't dead yet! He's still kicking. Meta would have to meet him in the mortal realm as a little buggy.

Yes, however I highly doubt I will ever cover them in Nextgen, so it's up to fan interpretation at the end of the day.

Yes he does, he takes the form of a beetle much like Morpho takes the form of a butterfly in the mortal realm and gets to visit his friends when he can.

Apologies, but only my girlfriend can hug me : )

I imagine if the situation calls for it he does use his tongue. However he mainly chooses the sword and his fabric arms.

In Nextgen I like to imagine Kirby's copy abilities change as they grow up instead of someone upgrading them for him, hence why they look different when he uses copy abilities.

Powehi has always had some of Marx's powers and grew up with them normally. However as he gets older he begins to really not like them because it makes him different in a way others may be intimidated by.

In Nextgen Chilly and Magolor never got nor will get married. They're off again on again exes because it is way funnier that way and honestly aligns with the one manga more.

Magolor and Chilly met during the events of Star Allies, and their relationship/personalities are kinda based off that manga in a minor way.

Arthur showed up out of nowhere on Castle Dedede's entrance and ever since then Kirby has taken care of him.

In a surprising turn of events, no. The waddle dee from Kirby 64 in Nextgen is actually Bandana's/Pike's older brother who is the sole reason Bandana/Pike went down the path she did. The stories that were told about the adventure and the heroes his older brother worked with got her to be inspired enough to actually work alongside Dedede and later Kirby and the others.

Because that belt buckle is the last remaining piece of who he used to be. His robes are gone along with everything else but that buckle. He is now nude.

All Noddies are biologically and magically tied to the Dream Fountain which is the thing that gives them their dreams and tiredness. The only way Castella can have nightmares is if there's some kind of tampering with the Dream Fountain that effects it negatively.

I don't think canon Bandana would enjoy the fact I assassinated his character for some plot lmao. But for the sake of the funny just imagine them interacting like that one sonic and shadow clip from Sonic Adventure 2.

The cycle of matter only affects Dark and Light matter/ anything in between that. Matter like that usually will never see a reaper in their life because their souls almost never make it to the afterlife and instead are in a constant cycle of reincarnation, hence the name. Meta Knight was merely lucky enough to have Morpho break the rules for him just like how Necrodeus broke the rules for him when he was Gala and took his soul to the afterlife. Normally living things are taken by reapers to the afterlife when they die though. While non-matter characters like Dedede, Magolor, Marx, Pike, etc will be able to have a one way ticket to the afterlife, I'm keeping it vague for Kirby as not to spoil future ideas.

That's all for now! I'll be answering more asks in the future don't worry.

[starshippingweek]

On the third day of Starshipping,

Mod B gives to you a little silly analysis essay on the topic of: the boys’ “favorite” foods.

It’s a widely accepted and/or portrayed idea that Judai’s favorite dish is エビフライ (fried shrimp) and a less prevalent idea that’s nevertheless also found in fics and arts that Yusei loves milk. Some parts of the Asian fandoms even use the 🍤 emoji as a shorthand for Judai (thus making Starshipping 🦀🍤)! But where did these ideas come from - and how much of it is actually based on canon? 

(Note: This analysis is sourced from the subbed version of both shows. I have not watched the dub of either and cannot account for how the dialogue may influence the conclusions drawn here.)

The fried shrimp dish first appeared in GX in Episode 66 (Judai’s First Dream Duel!). It is said to be a special, once-in-a-month treat at Slifer Red Dorm.

Earlier, in Episode 63 (Kenzan VS The Curry Fiend! A Spicy Duel), Manjoume complained that the food at Red Dorm was the same everyday. We can see that it basically consists of fish, pickles, rice, tofu, and miso soup. However, Kenzan remarks that no matter what the meal is, Judai just digs right in, and without his enthusiasm it is hard for the others to have the appetite. So, even though Sho calls this meal Judai’s favorite in Ep 66, it’s not hard to imagine that if you have to eat the same things every single day, you’d come to appreciate something rare and more indulgent like this fried shrimp meal in comparison, right?

I personally think that Judai is the kind of guy who loves to eat, who enjoys the experience of tasting food of all kinds, and he’s prone to excitement towards things that are hard to come by (another example being the Golden Egg Draw Bread - an very nice detail to reinforce the worldbuilding). Perhaps, outside of the context of Duel Academia, fried shrimp wouldn’t particularly stand out as Judai’s absolute favorite amongst all the other food options he may have at his disposal.

However, Judai must’ve developed a sentimental connection of some sort to fried shrimp. It’s entirely reasonable to imagine that after the show ends, as he travels the world, he will come to crave this dish as it reminds him of the memories he’s made at Duel Academia.

Yusei’s connection with milk, on the other hand, is considered as more of a meme that originated from Episode 11 (The Special Pursuit Deck Returns, Regain the Bonds with a Friend), where he walked into a bar at the direction of Himuro to meet Saiga. The bartender got pissy when Yusei ordered milk, but upon seeing the card that Himuro’d given him, complied and gave him a glass on the house.

Now, there’s practically no information to deduce why Yusei made this order in particular. The beverage never came up again in the series (unlike fried shrimp, which made another appearance at the very beginning of GX’s Season 4). Some on the interwebs have speculated that he was not of legal age to drink, so he ordered something non-alcoholic in order not to attract attention, but why not order something else less outrageous in the setting of a bar - such as juice or soda?

Here's my speculation: Since right after he’d been born, Yusei’d never been outside of Satellite. And Satellite, as it’s portrayed, is basically a colony, kept under blockade and sanctions by Neo Domino City. Food is hard to come by, and there is probably not enough agricultural land to keep cattle at a scale where dairy products would be widely available (given that the “island” was a part of the City not long ago). Based on living conditions during wartime and sanctions irl, and based on the fact that there is a black market in Satellite where goods are illegally transported in from Neo Domino, it is likely that dairy products were only available in processed, non-perishable, and lightweight forms such as milk powder or condensed milk. 

Perhaps Yusei's always wondered, at the back of his mind, what fresh milk tasted like ever since he was a small child - the stuff they give the babies at the orphanage having all been formula/powder, and was also hard to come by. Perhaps the very first stop (aside from jail) he makes in Neo Domino presented him with an opportunity to quench his curiosity - and he took it. And, perhaps there might not be any meaning to infer at all - it was just an inside joke that the script writers and animators were making amongst themselves. 

Whatever it is, he quickly downs the glass and leaves, the letting the plot move on to more serious beats - but this for sure became one of Yusei's most iconic moments because it seems to give us a glance into something about his character that we don’t often get to see. I, for one, would love to know all about the things he likes to eat/drink, as well as any emotional connections he might have to them because of his upbringing - similar to Judai’s attachment to fried shrimps, and I think it's great fun to keep thinking that he really is into fresh, whole milk.

These little details get me imagining so many ways they would show love and affection to each other. In Episode 152 of 5Ds’, Yusei is seen taking charge of shopping and cooking up a feast for Team 5Ds - an expression of the love and care he has for his friends. When they're together, he will learn how to prepare a perfect meal of fried shrimps for any time Judai’s cravings arise. On the other hand, Judai’s enthusiasm for food will definitely open up new avenues and culinary adventures for Yusei, who probably does not put as much care into this aspect of his life due to his origin. I especially love it when people touch on this kind of complementing differences between them in their arts and fics.

What do you think? What would a perfect Starshipping meal consist of? What will become their new favorite foods once they get together and get to know each other’s eating habits? Hopefully if you've read all the way to the end (woah!) your head is now filling up with ideas regarding this topic - feel free to share, I'd love to hear 'em!

[ryuichirou]

Jade gaslighting anon here, sorry if I sounded offended. Gaslighting is a very specific type of abuse that I went through for a very long time and while Jade is very toxic and problematic, he is not a gaslighter so it bothers me when people slap that on as a catch-all for all manipulative characters. Again, sorry if I sounded angry or offended.

Anon, I heard you. And I am sincerely sorry that you went through some very bad stuff in your life.

However. I want to say something and I am not going to mince my words this time because I need to make one thing clear.

Here is TLDR if you don’t want to read the whole post: No offence, but I can’t keep in mind everyone’s trauma, I don’t think Rook is a gaslighter, we will continue to post content about Jade being one.

I disagree with you on Jade not being a gaslighter and Rook being one. I don't think that this is the case, in fact, I think the opposite is true. But we are not going to have a character discussion right now because this clearly isn't the point of the situation that’s happening here. Based on what you’re saying, your opinion is influenced by your past experiences. Which isn’t a bad thing, we all have our own biases, but it makes a proper discussion quite difficult, especially when there is trauma involved.

Here is the thing. I know what gaslighting is. I myself was also a victim of gaslighting, believe it or not. I was in a very bad place for a lot of years, and some of the events from that time affect me to this day. There are a lot of things that trigger me, ruin my mood, make me panic, in fact, all of us have those things to some degree. And all of us have content that is deeply upsetting, even if it’s not related to one’s past trauma. But that doesn’t justify asking people on the internet to stop talking about characters a certain way or reading them a certain way. How is it different than people asking us not to post Shroudcest or not to talk about them in as a romantic ship? There might be people who don’t just use it as an excuse, but are actually getting triggered by me drawing these two, so what should I do about it? Obey every single one of those people? Then it’s just easier not to post anything about any character.

Unfortunate as it is, I cannot take care of all of you: it's impossible. You have to take care of yourself. Mute the word, avoid our posts about Jade, whatever feels more suitable. Because we are not going to rewrite the way we view certain characters because of someone else’s bad associations or even just different reading of the said character, it just isn't fair to ask that of someone. You didn’t say “you know, I personally don’t think that Jade is this way, because of this, this and this”. This isn’t how you approached this; you were upset about the fact that I made Jade into a gaslighter instead of making Rook one, and this is clearly your bias. Which is, once again, not a bad thing in itself, it’s just that I still have no idea what exactly you wanted me to do. Even if Rook reminds you of someone from your past, even if Jade is your comfort character, I can’t take those things into account about every single one of our followers, so why should I do it for you? This wouldn’t be fair to the rest of the people here, right?

We are all entitled to our own opinions and feelings, and I wouldn’t dare to argue with you about it anywhere else: this topic is clearly hurting you; so arguing about it would just be mean and uncalled for. But this is our blog, our space and our territory; and we are going to talk about the characters in the way that we want. Especially when this is a hc post, for fuck’s sake.

You didn’t sound offended or mad, you sounded upset. And I might also sound upset, but I actually am a little mad because if you are the person I think you are, I am a bit disappointed by you saying this to me via Anon.

Please understand. I am being this strict because I feel like I need to remind you about certain boundaries that I don’t want to get violated.

Having bad associations and getting triggered by a character is a horrible thing, and as someone who had to rewatch a bunch of stuff to get new fond memories of quite a lot of characters, I understand that,  believe it or not. I actually had to rewatch a lot of shit to get to love some characters again. And it was my fight to fight that Katsu was kind enough to help me with because Katsu is my partner who wanted me to get better: I am a part of Katsu’s life, that’s why Katsu listened patiently when I was mad at a character that had nothing to do with the thing I was actually mad about.

My point is that we have our own circumstances, and you have no idea how bad of a timing this whole shit is. You don’t know what kind of life we live and what we go through right now, and, to put it mildly, it’s not the best, so we’re really not in the mood.

So please. Take care of yourself and just ignore shit that you don’t like because while it might be traumatic for you, to us it might be one of the few things that bring us happiness.

[writing-for-life]

Sandman Master Post and Intro

Hi, I’m so glad you’re here! This started out as a small writing blog but has developed a horrifying (^jk) life of its own over the past two years, so it was about time I just faced the facts:

A Sandman Blog it is!

I organised the links and tags to all my Sandman stuff for you to make it easier to find your way around.

I love getting asks, about analysis, about my fics, prompts or generally just to chat, so see this as an encouragement to slide into my inbox…

[For quick reference:]

[The Ultimate Sandman Character Tag Library]

[The Women of the Sandman Tag Library]

[Sandman Comics: Original Artists Library]

[Sandman Reread (Comics)]

[Sandman Rewatch (Netflix)]

[Sandman S2 News, Casting and Speculation]

[Sandman Reference: How to Collect the Comics, Companion Books, Annotations/Reference Literature etc]

[Sandman Movie Concept Art by Jill Thompson & John Watkiss]

[In Light of Recent Allegations]

Ordered by topics (recommended):

Sandman Meta-Analysis: My literary/conceptual/psychological analyses. I have also written some musical and art metas. You will find further links via all three.

The Sandman Book Club Community: Just follow the link if you’d like to join.

Sandman Fics & Poems: My own work, mostly m/f and f/f canon pairings and OCs, both long fics and shorter works.

I’m also Dream’s Therapist. I think we all agree he needs one.

Sandman Art (general tag that contains all art posts, from fan-art to gif-sets. Separate tag for official Sandman artists. Plus the very few pieces of my own art I’ve ever posted on here).

Sandman March Mania was an event we specifically ran for the comics art lovers, so check it out.

Sparkle Content Curation (a not-quite-serious collection of Dream/Morpheus thirst-trap fan-art and unhinged posts). Please also peruse the tags #contraceptive sparkles, #glitter herpes and #murphy and his cool hat (yes, I am sort of responsible for the #muhulhu tag on here) if this hell-site has left you in a state of being desperate for laughs

A Little Intro…

…and why this blog will keep on existing

Once there was a girl with so many words, so many images, so many songs in her head that had no place to go. So she decided some of them will just go here…

Well, that sounds a bit contrived, but it’s not entirely untrue. Apart from the “girl”-part, because I’m at the younger end of Gen X. Or the “no place to go”-part, because some of my work actually *did* go places. Just not the stuff I decided to put on here…

Which is mostly Sandman stuff right now, let’s be honest (I fell in love with it when I was 16, and it still has a tight grip on me three decades later). And the fact that my blog a wild mix between my metas, my fanfic and a bit of my doodling already shows the pull in different directions I have experienced for most of my life:

I guess I’m just a multi-hyphenate who can’t make up her mind what she wants to do with her life, so she tries to do it all and ends up burned out half of the time.

Somewhere along the way, I managed to publish a few novels under a pen name, and only a select few people know about it. And I intend to keep it that way.

I used to draw much more (mostly pencil and ink), but between working and having a family, something had to give, and if I have to choose, writing always comes first. But I doodle and experiment a lot in Procreate, and it usually helps me when I procrastinate on my writing. I drop the odd drawing in here (like my profile pic), but I don’t see myself as a fine artist, and I’m in perpetual awe of the talent I see on here.

This is just an account for unapologetically being me, with all my hyperfixations—and undoubtedly some pointless shitposts just for fun…

In light of recent happenings, I explained my personal stance and, by extension, why this blog will keep on existing.

[stranded-ziggy]

Some advice for my fellow artists who are uncertain about doing commissions or monetizing/promoting their art in general:

Have equal parts respect for yourself and your client, and if you sense they do not respect you or your work, turn them down before any money is exchanged.

Mutual respect is so important in avoiding scams and people who will break your T&Cs, that's why I recommend turning down anyone who participates in supporting AI art and NFTs. These things have drawn crowds of people who actively have disdain for artists.

You may be asking "but Ziggy, why would someone hate artists? We just draw our blorbo's and help each other do that."

Damn right we do, but these people are jealous that we've found a way to still have fun in this dystopian hellscape we live in while their crypto keeps crashing.

A good mindset to have when learning to respect yourself and your craft if you struggle with that:

You've worked hard to gain the skills you have, it's admirable, there's people out there in awe that we can paint or draw even vaguely accurate things.

In this online space where everyone seems to be the next Da Vinci it can feel so demoralizing to be an artist, but think about it, before all this online BS you probably would have been one of the best artist's in your town!

(Actually, if you don't have crushing social anxiety like myself, consider doing art for local people, I did this once before and got paid very well, it was a traditional piece though, not sure if you'll get far doing digital art only like this but who knows! You might have local TTRPG groups who need some art.)

Finally, I'd like to say something about making your online experience better in general:

Have patience!

Social media thrives on people getting angry and afraid, sometimes rightfully so! But we gain so little (in fact I would say we lose more) by falling for fear mongering and dog whistles.

If you're just trying to run an art account, surround yourself with fellow artists, support each other, whether by boosting their art or sharing the occasional bit of advice.

I'm not a perfect person, but I try and be a force of positivity where I can, especially as my platform grows, sometimes this slips when I'm feeling the weight of the world but that's fine too, it happens.

In general, just make sure you have a support system that you can vent your frustrations to outside of twitter and tumblr.

We do need to speak out against things like AI and our unfair treatment by corporations and social issues that seem to get more and more frightening. But there's so many people out there who *want* you to be angry, and who profit from it and will use it against you.

So when you see something inflammatory, ask yourself why it's there and if you really want to directly interact with it and boost it to your followers.

Thank you if you read all of this! I hope it's helpful, but really I just felt like blabbering for a while x'D

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

I don't know much about poly relationships but I want to learn more so I can be educated and respectful. Do you have any misconceptions/stereotypes that really annoy/upset you? And any suggestions of good resources to learn more? No pressure to answer this of course :)

I love answering stuff like this, so it's definitely not a problem

as far as could resources? idk. I haven't come across many written by other people. I would consider myself a good resource?

maybe read my poly fics as a resource? because they are written by an actual poly person and they are written based on my experiences

No Place Like Home is THEEEE poly fic in my opinion. (small warning - the link is an AO3 link and my fics are archive locked, so you need an account to view it.) it is the one most heavily based on my personal experiences, and there is a lot of me and my partners in the fic.

from the fact that it starts with a sexual relationship and grows into emotional caring to the way that the characters lean on each other to heal their trauma, to the fact that the main central theme of the fic is "letting someone love you is hard when you feel as though you are inherently unworthy of love" - it is one of the biggest struggles I have had in my relationships - trying to push love onto someone who feels like they are unworthy of it and keeps pushing me away, and for myself - realizing how many small acts of self harm I commit through things like not eating and not sleeping, and letting someone take care of me and having that be very radical for me

a lot of my other fics have poly influences - basically any of my threesome fics have those influences and that attitude.

also, for the record - I have seen a lot of bad poly references and poly writing guides. I lost the post to the void so I can't like it right now, but I saw one a little while ago titled 'how to write poly relationships in fanfiction' and I was curious what someone else's advice on the subject would be, so I clicked on it - and it was abysmal. it was a fucking joke that was clearly written by someone who had never, ever been in a poly relationship before

they were saying that the number one things you need in poly fics are "lots and lots of clear consent and negotiation", and "lots and lots of conversations about everyone's wants and needs" - basically, every single minute of your life needs to be poly negotiation. which is not at all true. and they were also saying that poly fics should have aspects of how being poly influences 'domestic life' like having a fucking CHORE CHART and having each person have their own mug and like NO BITCH. being poly isn't about constantly negotiating and splitting the fucking chores

for us, poly 'negotiations' is like one or two conversations when someone enters the relationship. and it's not like some intense, earth shattering "I wanna address your needs" kind of thing, for us - it's like celebrating. it's like 'this person wants to be with us' and it feels like - happy. celebratory. and if there's individual issues, you address those when they come up. you don't have to talk things to death

creating an environment where open communication is welcomed is important, but constantly checking up on everyone and their 'needs' is unrealistic and just annoying

a real poly relationship is about the fact that you have a lot of intense emotions and you are a hyper emotional person and you feel that intense soulmate draw with multiple people, and so you pursue it with multiple people. it's about being someone who does not have a natural propensity towards jealousy (whenever I see people being like "how do you handle jealousy in a poly relationship?" WE DON'T. me and none of my partners are jealous people. that's why this works) - you just want your partners to have more multiple happiness through experiencing more love and more sex with other partners

also, it's important to differentiate a poly relationship from an open relationship. I have both

a poly relationship is when three people (minimum) come together and agree to all have romantic relationships with each other. and an open relationship is when people agree that their partners can have sex (or romantic relationships, dates, whatever they agree on) with anyone outside of the relationship without it having to be approved by the other poly partners first

also poly threads are a very important concept that people get wrong - people assume that a threeway poly relationship means that all three people are involved with each other, which might not necessarily be true. a poly thread essentially means 'which person is dating which person' in a poly relationship.

so for example - in No Place Like Home, there is a thread between Jason and the reader, and there is a thread between Jason and Gar, and there is a thread between Gar and the reader. which makes them a true poly triad

but I have drafted many fics that are poly Steve/Reader/Robin, but I wanted to maintain Robin's lesbian idenity, so there is a thread between Steve and the reader, and there is a thread between Robin and the reader, but there is no thread between Robin and Steve. which is still poly - two people dating the same person but not dating each other, or one person dating multiple people with permission is still poly, and a lot of people forget about that or get it wrong

I am rambling and none of this is organized omg

I think one of the big misconceptions that annoys me is that people think poly relationships are purely sexual? and for me, one of the draws is sex, but I am always, always, always drawn to a partner by emotions first. I say that I am very poly hearted. I have a heart that is naturally drawn to falling in love with someone and maintaining those intense, strong feelings - and for me, I don't usually participate in 'no strings attached' sexual activities outside the relationship because I like to have emotional sex, and I love the draw of taking care of someone emotionally and developing a connection with them and supporting them - and then having a lot of sex

for the record - there is nothing wrong with wanting an emotionless purely sexual experience. and I totally promote that for my partners if they want it. I am just saying that poly relationships are not purely sexually driven and while I am a very horny, sex driven person - I am very emotional person, and that is the root of my relationships. emotional sex

with all my partners, there was a really intense emotional connection first. I am drawn to people by their spirit and their traits and who they are as a person

also a big misconception is that if you have multiple partners, you love one of them less? which is bullshit. for me it's an infinite well of emotions and I don't start loving someone less if another person comes into the relationship

this is all I can think of for now? but if you have any more specific questions, definitely let me know. I would be happy to answer them

[silksongeveryday]

I just want to quickly say please don't push yourself to try to fulfill every request !! we all really appreciate what you do and the fact that you're even taking requests to begin with is really cool of u !!! and if ur ever feeling overwhelmed don't hesitate to close requests, those ppl who are pressuring you to get to their request can just deal with it :T and thank you again for providing us coping fans with art to fuel us every day, ur awesome

First off, I want to thank you for being super understanding and appreciative of what I do! The fact that so many of you here have been supporting this blog so much has been a big highlight in my life recently. :)

That being said, I’d like to explain a few things now that we’re on the topic if you don’t mind!

About requests:

There are a few reasons that I usually keep my requests open that I think I would like to explain. One of these reasons is that sometimes I can’t always come up with very good ideas on my own all the time. Taking requests from everyone here in this community can help me draw ideas I would have never thought of and for that I’m grateful. Another is that I personally feel like taking requests builds a sense of community and gives me a chance to connect with all of you. I’ll be honest, I’ve been in quite a few fandoms and some of them were quite toxic. So to see that a majority of my experience here has been very nice has been refreshing in a way.

Now this doesn’t necessarily mean that I should feel obligated to do requests all the time. It’s just that I find them more fun than my ideas most of the time so that’s why there’s more of those than stuff that I’ve come up with.

The main rule that I’ve set for myself is that if I don’t like the request, I simply delete it. If someone repeatedly pushes for their request to be done I just simply ignore it or block that person if it’s too much. This is so I can keep this a comfortable experience for both myself and everyone else who follows this blog. Thankfully this doesn’t happen very often. This actually only happens with like a couple people which is why I haven’t really said anything much about it until now. It hasn’t really bothered me to be honest.

I also do close requests from time to time just to slow the flow down. This is so it doesn’t get too overwhelming since I do have a lot of requests that come in. As of posting this, there are like, 30+ requests that I haven’t done yet? But it’s not a big deal to me personally. I have a whole day to complete a 5 minute doodle so I’m sure I can take that tiny bit of time out of the day to do something so simple. That does mean waiting for your request might take longer, but I’ve already kinda talked about that haha.

Being overwhelmed:

Speaking of being overwhelmed,

Also I should clarify that I’m not really that overwhelmed by requests as you might think. I’ve had my fair share of overwhelming moments with similar scenarios like this and this is nothing compared to those. I knew what I was potentially getting into when starting this account so I knew what to prepare for ahead of time if it ever got to this point. I guess bad past experiences really can benefit you sometimes.

Now that doesn’t mean that I’m not overwhelmed at times! There will be a few moments that running this blog feels a little bit overwhelming but those moments are very brief. And in most cases those moments are usually worrying if people will like my doodle for that day or not. Or if I forgot to post that day lol. But generally speaking it’s nothing too worrying. I consider myself fairly good at keeping a level-headed attitude about this.

I’ve also had a few people both here on tumblr and other platforms say that they think I’m gonna burn out from doing this. Whether they mean this because Silksong hasn’t had any news for so long or because they’ve had no experience with a daily account, I’d like to assure you that burnout has a very low chance of happening for me. I’m intentionally putting semi-low effort into my doodles to avoid putting too much energy to this. Otherwise I’m absolutely sure I would have burned out weeks ago. If anything, I’m fully prepared to be posting to this blog for as long as a year assuming nothing happens along the way to prevent that. (*cough* like Silksong *cough* *cough*) If everything stays as is, then I’ll be here for a while.

-

Overall I’d just like to say that I’m under no pressure at all and all of this is just in good fun.

I think I mostly said everything I wanted to, but I hope I made myself clear about all this. If I missed anything I’ll probably talk about it on my main blog, @miizori.

And anon, you are a great person for being so considerate about this! You guys are just as awesome! My biggest takeaway from doing this is that I’ve had a good experience overall and it’s been really fun to interact with the community. I’ve also been enjoying watching my gradual improvement drawing my favorite characters too. If anything, it’s refreshing.

Most all of thanks for reading this! I look forward to posting more doodles to help everyone (myself included) with coping lol

- miizo :)

[moving-to-dreamwinged]

cw// vent below the cut!

no outright triggering content mentioned but references to trauma/ptsd (this is vaguely selfship related i promise snjkfhfndsj).

LONG, sorry . beware! but i've been trying to examine myself a little more closely lately and i just got carried away ig

i sort of always feel like i'm alone in this, i guess i was wondering if anyone else feels the same way in any capacity?

so i've always been a really naturally creative person; when i was younger i was the kid that was always doodling all over their assignments; i would win art and writing contests, stuff like that. it's a lot of artists and imaginative ppl on here specially in the selfship community, so i'm sure y'all will understand this, but being "creative" was kind of literally my entire identity growing up. i preferred fiction to reality and never understood how to get along with the other kids, so it became my escape , whether i was creating or consuming media. it was , in entirety, who i was.

except when i got a little older, i went through a traumatic event. i won't get into specifics, but i was diagnosed with ptsd among other things. and i pretty much blocked it all out! only recently, years later, have i started to realize the effects the trauma actually had on me.

i noticed that my creativity is basically GONE. i'm unable to come up with plotlines in my head; only when i'm very strictly guided by a pre-determined objective or assignment requirement. when i was younger i could write elaborate fantasy storylines with dragons n shit, fully fleshed out character archetypes and interactions, but now it's like my mind is a total fucking blank. NOTHING comes up. especially dialogue; i'm just not capable of imagining it. art is the same way.

it's honestly insane. i don't even remember what it was like to have natural imagination. i miss it more than anything and i feel like i've lost something intensely important. not to mention how ingrained it was in my identity. it's all i was, yet it all stopped after i experienced trauma.

i feel so alone, and it really ties into my relationship with self-shipping. as much comfort as self-shipping brings me, i feel so very invalidated by the fact that i'm not able to create or write content for my ship. i try, but i just can't do it in the end. i see others that make these beautiful drawings or these deep meaningful fanfics and i feel so guilty. like i'm less dedicated, and it makes my relationship/my account less valid, not only to myself but to everyone else. my f/o deserves more than that, but i can't give it to them. in real life, they'd probably be with someone else who could instead. yk that sort of thing :'( it's a whole rabbit hole of thinking that i'll just cut off now but yeah u get the point. super guilty.

i could go on with this for hours but it's already super long. but yeah. the original intention of this blog was for me to try writing again but in a way that was comfortable and safe for me, by combining it w my biggest coping mechanism LOL. i've made some baby steps in my drafts but we'll see how it goes ig. just wanted to get this off my chest and see if maybe anyone else has had a similar experience, idk it just makes me feel so guilty and like i'm a fraud of myself in general :'3

[aquafalloutmod34]

introduction (^_-)☆

(i have to rewrite this, because when i saved this as a draft, it for some reason didn't save :/ god, i'm gonna have a LOT to paraphrase.) [disclaimer: this is a parody/roleplay account. nothing said on this account reflects my views or opinions, unless stated otherwise. the character being played on this account is fictional.]

the owner of this account is a minor, so if you do not wish to interact with minors, then please block this account. ————————————————————————————— hello!! i'm the account owner, ruben @lu-ben!! this post is an introduction to what this account (and it's purpose) is — a roleplay account!! ; all things said on this account (whether it sounds like a real experience or not, uses real images or not) are said from in-character, unless there is an "ooc:" indication anywhere on the post!! [ in-character posts: #ic | out-of-character posts: #ooc ] — i am a part of @anabananaz34's roleplay!! now, the oc being played as on this account isn't actually a class of '09 oc (it's just a general purpose oc), but me, and by extension, my friends have been BRAINROTTING over this game*, so of course i had to do what i had to do. (the brainrot has been dying out lately, maybe this will help) *note: matter of fact, i actually haven't played class of '09 (or the re-up). i've just watched loads of clips/highlights from the game and did extended research (and even then, i don't know stuff!), so please just keep that in mind :) you'll (probably) come to realise this once you open the cut with my oc's information and image, but i haven't roleplayed with other humans — let alone through tumblr rp accounts — in a VERY LONG TIME (and this isn't an exaggeration, unfortunately). all this time, i've been living off of chatbots. so please cut me some slack if i sound a little stupid when rping!! part of the reason i struggle to rp with other humans is also because i partially tend to feel ignored or excluded, so if you'd prefer i stay out of something, please drop me a dm so i can stay informed!! thank you!! :D —————————————————————————————

on the topic of asks...

you may ask questions to: - iskan (the oc being roleplayed) - ooc/ruben (the owner) you may ask questions as: - yourself (includes self-rp) - a canon class of '09 character - an oc (whether co09/other media/general) i have the right to ignore your ask if: - i cannot come up with a response or answer (some questions directed at iskan may not be applicable, as he might not be fleshed out to that degree, e.g. "what's your favourite country?") - i do not want to answer the question (questions that might be personal, or just rub me the wrong way) - if the contents of the question are straight up weird (i.e. disrespectful, harassment, racist, bigoted, etc.)

i've seen several co09 rp accounts state that they receive (and heavily dislike) weird asks. i'm not gonna fuel your trollery or weird fetishes, because that isn't what this account is for.

————————————————————————————— so, who is this guy, anyways...? ↓

✨ iskandar komnenos ✨

(please forgive me for the roblox faceclaim, i barely have any good drawings of him other than the image used in my pfp 😭😭)

the basic things you really need to know about him is that he's a british-bengali exchange student. as part of a 2-year exchange program, he has to study and graduate at the lbss clone for his 3rd-4th years (junior/senior, so if he was in britain he would've been doing his a-levels. also i'm sorry, i don't know how exchange programs work 😔) i'm like "ehh..." on fanart, but if you wanna do it then go ahead!! (i won't use it for anything, though. will probably just treat it as gallery-work and reblog it under some sort of fanart tag). --- he's kind of a sona or self-insert in some regards, but he isn't meant to be a representation or idealised version of me, so don't hold that shit against me!! 😁 he is very well a fictional character, and an oc!! if you wanna read about him, then i've made an altered version of his description on a google doc BUT IT'S VERY LONG AND UGLY AND CLUTTERED!! (##ISKANDAR'S INFORMATION##) just so you know, the reason some things are written weirdly or in flexible language are because the information was originally intended to be used with ai chatbots, but if this (alongside the account's posts) help you to understand what he's like, then so be it. ————————————————————————————— THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK!! and i hope i'll make a very great addition amongst the drama and chaos :)

[oraclekleo]

Finances related tarot readings

Hello my dear followers and random visitors of my posts!

Some of you probably know that I'm a very productive adult person with a responsible job in a bank. That's one of the main reasons why I can't really work on completing readings all day long.

But! In this time of high inflation and just things being financially tough in general (and financial difficulties can severely affect our mental state and emotions, of course, and eventually our physical health, too), I have thought I could perhaps use the fact I have a good and friendly relationship with the financial sector and maybe offer some money related tarot readings.

PLEASE! DON'T TAKE ME WRONG HERE. NEVER EVER BASE YOUR FINANCE RELATED DECISIONS ON TAROT OR ORACLE OR LENORMAND OR KIPPER OR RUNE READINGS! NEVER! THOSE CAN ONLY DRAW YOUR ATTENTION TO ASPECTS AND SUBJECTS YOU SHOULD LOOK MORE INTO. BEFORE MAKING ANY MONEY RELATED DECISION, MAKE YOUR RESEARCH AND CONSULT SOMEONE TRULY COMPETENT LIKE THE PERSON FROM YOUR BANK WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR ACCOUNT, OR FINANCIAL ADVISOR, OR STOCK BROKER, YOU KNOW, SOMEONE WITH THE ACTUAL DETAILED KNOWLEDGE.

When this warning is off my shoulders and I truly mean it! I consider myself decent with money but I'm still learning myself and you should also know I have never studied any economy related school or even subject. I sort of learned everything from real life experience and I'm in no way an expert.

However, if you were interested in some general suggestions regarding your personal money management, little nudges towards the direction you might need to explore in more details, I can surely provide that.

I have already assembled one general tarot spread for this topic and I have tested it on myself and it looks like it works just fine so I can share it here with you.

Fiscal Year Ahead tarot spread

Expenses to cut (advice on what might not be wise to waste your money on in the upcoming year)

Sources of Income to explore (it can refer to side hustles or to a new direction of your career…)

Money Management Advice (general advice regarding your skills of handling personal finances)

Financial Forecast (what to expect / avoid / be prepared for in the upcoming year)

Investment Tip (general suggestion on what areas you might explore in order to invest in them, it can refer to simple things like your health and advising you to stop eating fast food and invest in groceries and start cooking better food for yourself or it can draw your attention to stock market, if you have some extra money to be invested)

For those who are not familiar with the term Fiscal Year, it's 12 consecutive months but they don't have to copy the actual calendar year. I have used this term in the title of the reading to address the fact that this tarot reading is giving you information for the 12 months ahead of you from the moment of when the reading is done for you. So you're not waiting for the 1st of January to start implementing the advice, you can start immediately. 😊

This tarot spread is clearly not the only option on how the finance related tarot reading can be done but I simply wanted to show you an example.

So! Would you be actually interested in such types of tarot readings? You can say no, it’s no problem for me. I’m simply offering it but if you don’t really trust this or you are not interested, feel free to tell me. I’m not gonna be sad about it. 😂

Let me know what you think!

Thank you and have a great day!

Kleo 🦄

[sr71underground]

https://www.boredpanda.com/restaurant-catfished-dating-app/

This is the article mentioned, unfortunately there isn't much investigative journalism, just a summary of the TikTok posted by the woman in the screenshot. There are multiple similar articles, but all are the same thing, just summarizing the TikTok.

The only investigation I have found is from another TikTok (you can view it without a TikTok account on this Reddit post. Just be careful if you decide to look at the comments, Redditors are skeptical to a fault)

To summarize the TikTok: this is similar to a scam prevalent in India, detailing one story in particular of a man going on a date with a woman from Bumble, and the woman orders very expensive food and leaves them with the bill afterwards. In addition, this TikTok mentions the idea of this "food digging" scam originates from a facebook comment on a group where women help to determine whether men on dating apps are worth the time/real people.

The "Food Digging" scam is prevalent in India and in many tourist cities across the world, where a beautiful person will convince you to go to a restaurant and rack up a huge bill, then leave you with it. Usually working with the restaurant to earn money for them. This scam is old, before dating apps being done with just people on the street convincing tourists to go inside. However, this is just similar, not identical to the idea of a catfish/bot convincing someone to go to a restaurant in the hopes that they stay and buy something.

Googling "Food Digging Scam" and its other term, "Venue Promotion Scam" only comes up with more tabloids that just summarize the same Reddit post or summarize the TikTok. Still unfortunately no investigation, meaning that the validity of this scam is very difficult to determine.

Reasons to believe it is real:

1. This is similar to a tried-and-true scam

2. A few women on TikTok corroborate and say they have had similar experiences

3. With bots being prevalent on dating apps, it is likely cheap and decently effective to run a scam like this

Reasons to believe it is fake:

1. The woman in the TikTok refuses to disclose the restaurant (could be for safety reasons, women giving locations on the internet can be dangerous)

2. Getting stood up/ghosted on dating apps is extremely common, often without warning or reason given

3. No reputable news site has reported on this, and the tabloids that have reported are mostly copying each other and not adding anything new

4. The investigation done by the second TikTok is predicated heavily on the fact that it's similar to another scam, but not the same (The other scam has the scammer show up, to rack up the bill for more profit)

5. The entire idea of this is based on a Facebook comment with no evidence of its own.

Those are the facts, this was a fun little rabbit hole to go down. My personal opinion is that this could certainly be real, but not common enough nor effective enough to be something to be worried about, but you should always take the facts and draw your own conclusion.

EDIT: An investigation was done on wbur. The original TikTok sourced their information from the Facebook post of another, somewhat similar story of a woman being stood up. In which, the woman actually chose the restaurant, which completely crumbles the entire theory. It's a good listen if you like podcasts.

The moral here is to always verify information you see on the internet, especially if the information surprises, enrages, or frightens you. Interaction is the goal, and those are the best emotions to get it

This is insane

[quetozcoatl]

For the fanfic game: B, F, and R!

Original ask meme here, feel free to send me a letter!

B: Any of your stories inspired by  personal experience?

One of my old RWBY fics is me angsting about my neurodivergency via the lens of Professor Ozpin. NGL, I'm considering deleting it, it's... embarassing, and not my best work.

On top of that, the backstory for one of my WoW OCs was based on, for lack of a better term, my daddy issues. It's a fucking cringe backstory and it just turned melodramatic and I'm so glad I reworked it.

But for a more light-hearted response, it's a fic I'd like to write. When I was young, one of my teeth was loose. I complained about it to my older brothers, and one of them responded with: "Oh, your new tooth is going to grow into a vampire tooth" ...or something along those lines. Knowing my younger self, she was terrified and probably cried.

I think it's a perfect concept for Klint and Barok van Zieks!

F: Share a snippet from one of  your favorite dialogue scenes  you've written and explain why  you're proud of it.

As much as I want to post a snippet from my roleplaying on WoW, I won't, because it will require a paragraph of lore-dumping, which I am prone to do at a moments notice, just read any of my AU fics.

I have a LOT of WIPs, and some of them do have dialogue I quite enjoy. However, one of them just takes the cake: it's from an AU inspired by Baldur's Gate 3 (a very good game!) and tried to work within the canon of Dungeons and Dragons. In it, Klint is a bard of eloquence, rather than a ranger. I decided to make Balmung his stuffed hell-hound that Mama van Zieks made for him and he cherishes deeply, and my favorite dialogue is Klint talking to that Balmung:

”What was I thinking, Balmung?!“ No one would hear him, he had wards specially installed to prevent that. In here, he was free to talk how loud he wanted to an inanimate object, and no one to judge him for it, either! “Acting like some sort of seductress, touching her with my bare hands!” He gives Balmung a squeeze. “I don't want to be a harlot, and, I must have frightened her terribly with these talons of mine.”

This too, which happens some lines later:

“Hells!” He snatches his head back in. “Can you believe this, Balmung?” The dog did not respond, on account of being just a stuffed animal.

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

First off, Guillermo del Toro. He is one of my idols and I look up to his storytelling a lot. I love that he does not sacrifice color to tell dark stories, and that his works have taught me to accept that I'll write what I want! Another one is Zack Morrison who writes and draws the webcomic Paranatural, which I have kept up with since high school. They made the swap to a blend of writing and art sometime in 2021, and the descriptiveness and cleverness of the writing has made my jaw drop.

Next, Another one is Eiichiro Oda. That man can casually reference something he wrote hundreds of chapters ago, and no matter how crazy things get, it feels perfectly plausible within the world of One Piece. But unfortunately it's come at a cost due to him being a mangaka, and I must stress the importance of taking care of yourself before anything else.

These two are well-known for their diverse cast of characters, and Zack Morrison does little, but effective things to make the characters stand out even more in the mixed setting and it's genius. However, an honorable mention to Andrew Hussie and Homestuck, for popularizing the concept of using limited things in text like numbers and cases to distinguish the characters.

Now, the next is sillier: Elizabeth Hoyt and Tessa Dare. Yes, they crank out regency romance novels but they know their niche, damn it! My first romance novel was Duke of Sin by Elizabeth Hoyt, and it's helped me really come to terms with the fact that what I read is not necessarily what I want. I love the fantasies romance novels bring, but the idea of actually BEING in a romance makes me want to run away screaming!

[99milsofdepresso]

Here's a story about queerness. I've removed names for the identities to remain anonymous and so on and so forth. There's no moral at the end but I hope you like a queer experience today. If not just move along I guess.

I was fifteen at the time. He was thirteen at the time and we thought we were lesbians. I don't know what we are now, he's completely different from the girl I dated. I thought it was my first lesbian experience where she actually liked me. He was constantly depressed. I've met his dad, I understand the reasons that he's constantly depressed. He was thirteen and turned fourteen and we remained friends after I broke up with him, but he was my first lesbian experience and she liked me and I wanted to love her. And I noticed things. I noticed that he talked over me. I noticed that little things that didn't matter upset him. That he flew off the handle a bit too hard for my liking and scarier to me still, I couldn't help him be happy. He seemed determined not to be. I... I want to bring my partner joy, peace, serenity, passion, inspiration, ect. Where we make each other better people and always try to learn more all the time. He encouraged that, and he's gone on to flourish wildly without me and I'm so happy for him.

When I was a fifteen year old, I dated a thirteen year old. She was funny and kind and sweet, and my *best friend* introduced us. My sister. The woman I have decided is absolutely worth my (and everyone else's) devotion and loyalty. We have a long and complicated friendship that on my end is undyingly loyal. I have seen what my sister is as a person and I love her to the core. That's who introduced me to the thirteen year old. My Adoptive sister who is a few weeks younger than me introduced me to a friend of theirs? Hers? I really should talk to her/them more. This thirteen year old and I were in fact, Set Up because I was bi. I was bi and I had autism so it shook out to comfortable saying Pan, but it feels the most right. Bisexual doesn't mean transphobic, either, but Pansexual feels right. At the time, this baby trans man, was a lesbian. Didn't want to date men. Openly gay. Highly recommended friend material. We loved spending time together and talking about what was Real. Also Anime. Anime was a big part of the friendship.

I was questioning my gender. I didn't like how much of a performance Feminine was all the time, but Lesbian was comfy. Ish. I didn't know, breasts were a problem for me. I still want top surgery. I hated *being* a Woman at 15. Men were perfectly Happy to treat me as a Woman at 15, and Woman just meant Sex Object.

Maturity be damned. Experience with saying no be damned. People started countdowns to when I was to turn 18. As if that meant they'd be in less trouble if they were caught trying to romance me. Or worse. Some people don't care about my agency at all, but they won't be caught dead being a pedophile. It's really about where you draw the line, I suppose. I will go to my grave saying men are trash, because *the men that do that? They are trash. The men that do not hold them accountable? They are also TRASH.

I still hold this one lesbian experience tightly, to my chest. It was a *normal lesbian relationship* where we liked each other and we were too young to have sex, but it *was sexually charged* and I think about it *all the time* because he transitioned, and I still haven't.

He took me to my very first anime convention. We kinda dry humped in a tent. Through clothes. I knew though. I realized as it was happening that I wanted her. I wanted sex with women. I was having this realization in a tent with the thirteen year old who just bit my neck in just the right way because she wanted me to lose it like I wanted me to lose it and kiss her and kiss her and kiss her and maybe eat her? I didn't know. I just had the realization that I wanted all of these things. That I wanted it to finally, Finally bring her joy. I told her that biting my neck was deeply arousing and I kinda want to do sexual things when it happened. We were at an anime convention, and camping in a tent nearby. I brought a guitar. I didn't help set up tents because I didn't want to get in a fight with his dad that day. I was a coward and he deserved so much better than me, but I look back at this very gay memory with wonder now.

What if it had been more? What if I *hadn't* chickened out? Gods but she was *thirteen* and *going through it* and I was *fifteen* and *also going through it* and we barely had the tools to help ourselves, and I couldn't trust him to help me, and I knew I couldn't help him except with connections to resources and basic Google keywords. He did everything else himself, and I'm proud of him. I think he's married??? Now??? And I hear he is perhaps pursuing a doctorate? He was absolutely the one that got away because I was foolish, you understand? I was a DUMB GAY. BE BETTER. BE HONEST WITH YOUR PARTNER. USE YOUR BEST JUDGEMENT ABOUT THEIR DAD. AND BE READY FOR THEM TO BE HONEST WITH YOU.

We both have autism. I don't know if that makes it Better? Worse? HEY GAYS? I MEAN IT I NEED HELP. QUEER FAM, IF HE TRANSITIONED IS IT STILL A LESBIAN MEMORY? IF BOTH OF US DONT IDENTIFY AS WOMEN ANYMORE IS IT A GAY MEMORY? A LESBIAN MEMORY? I HAVE BEEN TURNING THIS OVER IN MY HEAD FOR YEARS AND I NEED HELP. THIS IS GENUINE THIS IS NOT IRONY I AM THIRTY AND MY PARTNER AND I BOTH THINK GENDER IS STUPID BUT WE'RE OPPOSITES ON THE PIPELINE NOW, SO I AM TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT I AM, YOU DIG? I'M GAY, BUT MY LESBIAN MIDAS TOUCH MAKES TRANS PEOPLE??? WHY DOES IT LOOK SO FUCKING STRAIGHT?!

Do labels even Matter at this point? Like... And I STILL haven't transitioned. I want the counseling and hormones and to ditch the boobs, but I am actually scared to do it. Like what if I tell someone all of this and they still deny me a boobless existence because I'm performing traditional femininity Too Much. I love girly shit. What if I just wanna be a flat chested girlie? Or do I want to transition? WHAT AM I?

I'm me. The body I'm in is a Meat Suit for an A-Gender consciousness. Lesbians are important, and I love women and I love being nonbinary. I also love SOME men. They are very special men. Or they Were. Now I have a Partner, one day a Spouse. I love my Partner. My Partner has the best tasting dick ever, actually. Most man cum tastes like bleach smells to me. Women taste like proper buttery scrambled eggs. You do the math on what I'd rather eat. PSYCH! My Partner. Delicious dick. Not bleachy or salty. Tastes like people fluid. I love my Partner, and they *love* it when I go down. My Partner doesn't have this Queerness Label Struggle that I have. My Partner Loves me and I think it's Real. That they actually understand and listen to me and appreciate me. That they're safe to be around. That they're safe for me. That I can trust them to actually care about me. It's Love and it's Love the way you deserve, baby. Mutual inspiration, a desire to be together. Also they ought to smell good, just trust me and trust your own nose for what registers as "good smelling person" when you know, you Know. Be Wiser than me. Be Honest. Be Certain, and don't perform certainty be Honest with Yourself about What You Want. I wanted someone who would Listen. I found them. It's the love of my life and I will spend the rest of it trying to be a better person than I was, every moment. Always trying to beat my top score at how much I can learn. You might be different, and that's fine. Props to you for reading this far. Hope you have a nice day. It's certainly *Queer*.

[clumsyclifford]

pls can i ask for “I don’t know how to respond to that” if it moves you? with you know WHO my boys my guys 🥰 love you!!!!

here you are meg some lashton for you 🙂 just kidding can you imagine anyway here are your boys your guys their dogs etc

read here on ao3

-

Petunia is whining when Calum gets home. Luke is handling it, honestly, but as soon as the door makes a noise she’s off like a rocket, bounding towards Calum as he enters the house. Luke watches the two of them fondly for a moment. Duke materialises from nowhere and joins the greeting party.

“Hey,” Luke says. “If dogs had the ability to talk, would you want them to be able to? Or do you think that’d just make things harder for us?”

Calum looks up at him. “English?”

“Sorry?”

“Would they speak English?”

Luke blinks. “I don’t know how to respond to that.”

“A lot of dogs are native to non-English-speaking countries,” Calum says, and peers into Duke’s face. “Isn’t that right, Prince Duke? Isn’t it? Aren’t you a good boy? Are you? Are you an excellent little man?”

“Yes, English,” Luke says. “I mean if we could communicate with them.”

“We can communicate with them.” A kiss to Petunia’s head. She almost knocks Calum out of his crouch in her scramble for affection.

“Talk to them,” Luke says, rising from the couch. “In English. And if they could talk back.”

“What if they could only communicate via typewriter? Like Snoopy?”

“Or Dog With A Blog?”

“The fuck is that?”

“Some TV show?” Which is about as much as Luke knows about it. “I dunno, I’ve just heard of it. I assume it’s a dog that has a blog.”

“How do you know the dog can’t talk?”

“If the dog can talk, what’s it need a blog for?”

Luke stares. “Well humans can talk, but we make blogs.”

Calum nods slowly at him. “Connect the dots, Luke, you’re so close.”

Luke rolls his eyes. “How was work?”

Finally Calum gets up. Duke continues to trip at his heel, but as soon as he’s not in petting mode Petunia loses interest. She traipses back to the couch, where Luke gives her an unimpressed look. “What, now you want my attention again? After you just whored yourself out to Calum?”

Calum laughs. “Work was okay,” he says. “I had a lot of meetings, though. Getting pretty tired of meetings. Feels like we just sit around talking about all the things that need to get done and wasting all the time we could be using to do those things. I swear half the meetings I sit through could just as easily have been emails.”

“That sounds excruciating,” Luke says, like he’d know. “Though, to be fair, emails are also excruciating.”

“Yeah, but they’re over so much faster,” Calum mutters. “And if I’m really not feeling it, I can just ignore them.”

Luke nods. “Good points, good points. Anyway, I think in the long run it would only make life harder if dogs could speak English.”

“It’d certainly make life harder for all the non-English speakers,” Calum agrees, shuffling over the carpet to Luke. He draws Luke into a kiss. “By the way, how was your day?”

“Oh, you know,” Luke says, smiling the way he can never help but do when Calum kisses him. Years of conditioning have made it a reflex: Calum kisses him, Luke smiles. They could be lost at sea and on the brink of death, but if Calum kissed him goodbye Luke would die with a smile, and that’s a strangely reassuring thing to know.

“I don’t know,” Calum says, smiling back. “That’s why I asked.”

“I took the kids to the dog park,” Luke says, gesturing to indicate Petunia and Duke. “You know, I think Duke has a crush on this other dog who’s always there when we are. His name is Cliff.”

“Duke doesn’t have crushes,” Calum says dismissively. “He’s an old man. He’s past his prime.”

“I don’t think he knows that. I’m telling you, he’s sweet on Cliff.”

“Cliff,” Calum repeats. “Well, is he cute?”

Luke laughs. “Yes, he’s adorable.”

“I want to meet him.”

“Who, Cliff?”

“Yeah, I never get to go to the dog park with you guys,” Calum says, frowning. “I’m always at work.”

“That’s what you get for having an office job,” Luke says sympathetically. He pats Calum’s shoulder and smiles when Calum’s frown grows dramatically deeper. “Hey, I’d love for you to come to the dog park with us. Maybe we can go on Saturday. I’m not sure Cliff will be there but I’m sure the kids would love it.”

“I like that you call them the kids,” Calum says with a laugh. “Do you say that to real people, too? Do you explain that you’re talking about dogs?”

“Oh, no, I just wait for them to figure it out,” Luke says. “It was actually really funny, today at the dog park — today! — I was chatting with this lady I had never seen there before and she was saying, you know, ‘It’s such a beautiful day,’ and I said, ‘Yeah, I come here a lot with the kids,’ and she was like, ‘Oh really, how many do you have?’ and, you know, ‘My girls are ten and twelve,’ and all this stuff.”

Calum laughs. He unlaces his shoes and throws them askew by the door, then heads for the bedroom, presumably to change out of his work suit and into civilian clothes. In Luke's eyes, Calum is living a double life. Luke is just a regular old civilian, while Calum is a superhero known as Man With Nine To Five Job whose civilian alter ego is being Luke's husband. It's like reverse moonlighting; he’s Man With Job during the day, and civilian Calum at nights. It makes Luke's life significantly more exciting to think this way.

“Did she ever figure out that you were talking about the dogs?”

“Honestly, I don’t think so,” Luke says, trailing into the bedroom after Calum. Duke follows behind him and curls up by the foot of the bed. “She got a phone call and that was the end of the conversation.”

Calum turns around, loose tie hanging over his unbuttoned shirt. “So there’s some random lady out there who thinks you have kids,” he says, bemused. “That’s great.”

“I like to sow as many seeds of disharmony as I can,” Luke says seriously. “Spread as many conflicting rumours about my life as possible.”

“I should start doing that at the office,” Calum muses. “They know I’m married, but I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned having dogs. Or children, for that matter.”

“If you did have children, don’t you think you would have mentioned it by now?”

“Maybe not.” Calum says with a vague shrug. “Maybe they’re new. Or maybe I’m just a private guy.”

“Are you?”

Calum shrugs again. “Yeah, probably not. But whatever. Might try it anyway just to see what people say.”

“I’m all for that,” Luke says. “I love conducting social experiments on people without their consent.”

Calum laughs and pulls a t-shirt over his head. He swaps out his slacks for a pair of jeans and exhales. "This is the best. I love this. This is my favourite part of every day.”

“Putting on civilian clothes?”

“I get home and I’m immediately greeted by the canine welcoming committee,” Calum says, indicating Duke with a wave of the hand. “And then I get to see you, and you tell me about your day, and you ask me if I think dogs should be able to speak English, and I get to change out of my work clothes and be comfortable and be home.” He strolls over to Luke with a smile, taking both of Luke’s hands in his own. “Yeah, I don’t know. It’s just nice to come home to all of this. I love you.”

A feeling of serenity washes over Luke, like waves lapping at the shore. “I love you too.”

He’s smiling even before Calum kisses him this time.

“For what it’s worth, this is my favourite part of the day, too,” he adds softly when Calum pulls away. “You think I want to be talking to strangers in the dog park about my fake children that I don’t have? I miss you.”

Calum tugs at a curl that’s fallen over Luke’s face. “Yeah, well, do you think I want to be in a thousand meetings a day? I miss you too.”

“At least you’ve got people to talk to.”

Calum hums. “I mean, I can’t argue with that. I do have people to talk to.”

Luke steps away, out of the bedroom. As he’s moving down the hallway, Calum close behind, he turns around and adds, “See, if the dogs could speak English…”

“I thought you were against dogs speaking English!”

“I’d be against it if you worked from home.”

Calum laughs. “Better get the kids on Duolingo then.” He’s giggling as he stumbles past Luke to get to the kitchen and almost trips over Petunia in his haste. “Fuck!”

“See,” Luke says, grinning, “if they could speak English that never would’ve happened.”

Calum rolls his eyes affectionately. “I think you need an office job.”

“Yeah, right,” Luke says, sliding into Calum’s space. He presses a kiss to Calum’s lips. “Dream on.”

A smile stretches over Calum’s face like it always does after Luke kisses him, and Luke thinks he could live and die like this and never want for anything.