#on a different note it's interesting what people latch onto

[pynkhues]

Not a baiting ask: I don’t recall any of the characters dressing more androgynously as the books went on, save Gabrielle? There are passages of Louis and Lestat wearing lace, pearls and velvet frock coats in the modern day, in reference to 18th c. fashion: Is that what the other Anon may have meant? That’s not an androgynous sartorial choice with historical costuming in mind, though, it’s Louis dressing in the fashion of his human era. (Perhaps there is a misconception from a passage in which Louis wears lace and pearls at Armand’s urging, or someone sharing such passages with intent to mislead other fans about the canonicity of Femme Louis or Femme Lestat beyond Anne’s personal identification with them, which has happened before and will happen again.) In the show, Louis dressing in lace, pearl and velvet would be Louis dressing in a colourful three piece suit in the style of the 1910’s.

(x)

Ah! Thank you for the correction, anon, I didn't remember any either, but I'm hyper-conscious of only having read through Memnoch (and having read most of the books I have quite a while ago, although I've been re-reading TVL recently) so I chose to take the ask in good faith and assume perhaps something happened in later books. That could very well be what the anon meant, but perhaps you're right too that there are scenes being taken out of context.

[dreamingofaizawa]

Pretty Young Thing

Retired!Older! Kakashi Hatake x AFAB!Kunoichi! Reader

***This piece is rated M for MATURE. 18+ entry only***

Warnings: Age gap (like 20+ years dude fr it's a GAP), longing, Kakashi being smitten, Kakashi being awkward and emotionally constipated, penetrative sex (p in v), fingering, cum eating, pussy slapping, creampies (wrap it before you tap it, people), squirting, overstimulation, VERY BRIEF dd/lg dynamic (I COULDN'T RESIST I'M SORRY)

Word Count: 4.5k

Author's Note: So. This was SUPPOSED to be a short drabble about Kakashi getting older and retiring and being interested in a cute, young, you. However, I couldn't stop my brain from braining and my hands from typing. It was gonna be less than 500 words. I don't know WHAT possessed me, but here I am.

ENJOY~

*

He's been forced into retirement. At least, that's what he tells everyone for the first few years, unable to fight the urge to get out in the field at every opportunity and being shot down. He sticks around the academy, and they allow him to still teach and help the next generation of ninja grow into well-rounded shinobi, for two reasons: he's an incredibly skilled and talented ninja that can pass on all of his skills, and he goes absolutely stir crazy trying to find something to do with his life after finishing Icha Icha.

Truthfully, he'd finished the series within the first 48 hours of his retirement, then re-read the damn series twice over before he finally got sick of it all. He couldn't take the lack of, well, anything.

Throughout his life he's fought countless battles, lost loved ones, and even the war took its toll on his body and his mind. But he misses it. Misses the action, misses the rush and the thrill. He's restless. His fingers twitch when he's sitting for too long, his legs bouncing and tapping on the floor when he's stood still in the kitchen waiting for a meal to finish on the stove. Even cooking can't seem to keep him occupied enough.

But he manages, eventually. Runs and works out in almost all of his free time, waking up at the crack of dawn to train himself for nothing every morning. Cooks every single meal and even bakes more desserts than he could possibly eat in his lifetime, brings all of his extra cupcakes and pies to his students when he finally has a new class. Not a team, no, he's been relegated to indoor classroom settings only. Nothing that could get him out in the field. And he tries to read new books. Nothing really catches his eye though, not enough to gerner his attention like he needs it to.

But then you show up.

You, a pretty young thing that's moved from the Hidden Mist village to come teach the young about your own village's history. It's part of the new initiative Naruto put in, once he'd finally reached his dream of becoming Hokage and got the village back in order. You're part of a group of eight shinobi, two from each major village, who were assigned to Konoha to begin a sort of fusion between the villages. Eight of the leaf's shinobi were sent out to the other villages as well.

He'd only managed to notice you while he was dropping off some of those extra desserts he'd made to occupy his time. You caught his eye like sunlight through stained glass, displaying to the students a few water-style jutsu that the Mist had perfected long ago and passed down through generations. He was mesmerized. You moved like the tides, body fluid like water, graceful and powerful. Clearly you'd mastered these techniques on an entirely different level, the motions so fluent you could probably do them in your sleep.

That's all it took for him to latch onto you. He's infatuated, really. After watching the demonstration, he actually offers you and your students the lemon-raspberry cookies he'd made last night. He talked with you for what must have been hours after that, all your classes having finished for the day and you strolled through Konoha. It was your first day, you'd said, and you were still trying to figure out the layout of the village.

"It's a lot bigger than the Mist. I didn't know what to expect if I'm being honest. I got here yesterday afternoon, and got lost on the way to school this morning." You laugh then, and he finds himself laughing with you. He offers to give you an escort whenever you find yourself needing one, offers to show you all the good food and the prettiest spots to laze in the sun.

It's about three months in that he finds himself actively looking for you during his morning run through the village. Not around the village, not anymore, ever since you'd moved here. He changed his entire running route to be able to spot you if you'd gotten lost, and then detoured to get you back on the path to school. Hell, he even walks you all the way to the front door of your classroom.

It takes him far too long to admit to himself that he's developing romantic feelings for you.

And he's a little ashamed about the whole thing.

He knows he's getting older, mid-late forties, dangerously close to fifty but he won't admit that to anyone if they ask. If his hair weren't already white, it'd be noticeably graying. His body's gotten just a little softer with age, but he stays as active as he can. He won't deny he's no spring chicken.

But you're young, maybe a little over half his age, can't be older than thirty. It's...strange. You're younger than any of Team 7, who he considers his children, but somehow you've circumvented that entirely. Maybe it's because he hadn't watched you grow up, maybe it's because you seem so accomplished and put-together, maybe it's because he still feels like he's a younger man than he is. But it's strange.

It's strange, and he feels a little guilty, especially when he's all alone late at night and his mind wanders a little too far back to Icha Icha. Especially when he's tenting his boxers and rubbing one out to ease the tension and suddenly all he can see in his mind is you. Especially when the post-nut clarity hits him like a truck, because he knows what people say and think about an age gap that large.

"When have you ever cared about what other people think, Kakashi?" Yamato tilts his head, pulling the emptying bottle of sake from his white-haired friend's hands.

"Yeah, yeah, I know."

"Besides, if it helps at all, here's what I think. I think you're both fully grown adults, and as long as she actually wants to be in a relationship and you don't force her hand, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it." Kakashi's head hits the back of the cracked leather seat of the booth, a short sigh escaping him. Yamato is right.

And then he's yearning for you. Looking for your face everywhere, seeking you out whenever he finds another class to teach, visiting you after you finish your classes to drop off another tray of sweets. He's walked you home more times than he can count now, and he's watched your eyes light up as the sun sets behind the treeline and paints the sky in brilliant orange and pink hues. You'd never seen such beautiful sunsets. You say the Hidden Mist is always cloudy or shrouded in a thick fog, so the sky is always gray unless the sun is at its peak and can shine down enough to break through the mist.

He loves watching you watch the sun set. He loves watching you teach the kids. He loves watching you perform jutsu he's never seen before. He loves walking you to class every morning even though you already know your way around the village by now. He loves being in your presence, and hearing your voice, and seeing you smile and hearing you laugh at all his stupid jokes.

He's so far gone. The worst part is that he won't do anything about it. Because there's no way a pretty, young thing like you could be any kind of interested in someone like him. Aged, retired, his lease on life far from new. Not a chance you'd even consider him a suitor in any fashion.

Right?

"Hey, Kakashi?" He hums in response, walking alongside you as you two take a stroll after school. It's a route you two take often, after he'd shown you the best spots to watch the sky at sunset.

"You go running every morning, don't you? To keep in shape?" Another hum, but this time he's looking at you and your strangely mischievous expression. To your credit, you're trying your absolute hardest to keep your face neutral as you plan out your next moves.

"Why do you ask?" You shrug, but it's far from nonchalant. It's forced, as if you needed to pretend to be indifferent. You're scheming.

"Oh, no reason."

"Right." He doesn't believe you. Even as you lapse into silence for a few minutes, he can see the way your entire body is coiled, ready to take off like a spooked rabbit. But you're not afraid, no, you're excited about something. Then, you stop in your tracks, and face him head-on. His head tilts, and you reach out with one hand, your entire palm laying flat on his chest where his heart beats entirely too fast for the pace you'd been walking at. And your smile. It's so sweet, so innocent, and the little giggle that slips out makes his head light.

"Tag, you're it!" Then you're gone. He blinks, and you've vanished, having initiated a game he hasn't played in years. He can see you, still, where you're watching from a tree branch nearby. You wait to see if he'll chase, see if he's actually feeling up to this little game. His head snaps over to you and you wave over at him, wiggling your fingers. His heart races in his chest, his fingers trembling, his feet stepping toward the treeline.

He's excited. His body moves before his mind can really make the executive decision, and he's standing beside you on your branch. But only briefly, and you're gone again before he can reach out and tag you. His vision narrows, watching you as you slip away from him once he gives chase. It's exhilarating, stimulating his years of trained reflexes and triggering his muscle memory like nothing in the classroom or proctoring chunin exams could ever do. He doesn't even realize where the two of you end up when you finally stop and let his hand come down on your shoulder.

You giggle again, and it makes him freeze, his chest heaving and nerves buzzing. But he doesn't move to run after tagging you.

"You've still got it, old man." It's...are you...teasing him? Yes, he realizes, you are. Because you turn around and face him and lay your palm over his heart again with the sweetest little grin.

"Care to come inside?" He swallows around the lump in his throat, blinking down at you as you chew at your bottom lip. Cute. He can't speak, so he nods, and then his heart leaps into his throat when you laugh and slip your hand into his, lacing your fingers together to pull him into your apartment which he's only just now realized you'd stopped in front of.

"Don't be so nervous, Kakashi. I promise I'll be good and give your poor heart a break." That is an extremely dangerous thing for you to say at the moment, his restraint suddenly wearing thinner than rice paper. It makes him stop once you've dragged him inside, his head spinning suddenly with all the depraved thoughts running through his mind. And you, sweet thing you are, look confused and almost concerned as you look back at him, look up at him, where he's stuck in your entryway.

"Are you alright?" You reach up to place the back of your hand on his forehead, but he flinches away and grabs your wrist in his own large hand.

"Kakashi?" His breathing is shallow, his heart still going a mile a minute, his fingers tightening around your wrist. He can feel your own pulse, and he swears it's nearly as fast as his.

"Just give me a second, sweetheart. I'm trying to be a gentleman." The worry drops off your face like a dead weight. He can just barely see the corner of your mouth tug into a wicked smile.

"Maybe I don't want you to be a gentleman." Those eyes snap to yours in an instant, and...is that lust decorating your features? There's no way...

You're stepping toward him, and he steps back, releasing your wrist as you back him against the door.

"Maybe I want you to get naked in my bed." The words have him sweating. He chuckles, a nervous sound really.

"I thought you were going to give my heart a break." You hum, lean into his space and rest both palms on his chest, fingers spreading just to feel him. You sigh dramatically, turning back into your home and striding away with an extra sway to your hips. Pure temptation is what you are.

"I guess, being as old as you are you need a break huh? That poor ticker of yours is gonna give out if you're not careful." The way you eye him as you walk away has a tent forming in his pants. Fuck. You're right, his heart's gonna explode but it's not going to be from old age. He steps toward you, following you like a damn puppy, all the way to your bedroom where you turn and face him once again, a devious smile on your pretty lips.

"If I haven't made myself clear enough, Kakashi, here's another hint." He can't shut his eyes when you begin to undress in front of him. He wants so badly to give you privacy, to be a damn gentleman like he said. You're making that impossible. You're naked, completely bared to him and his gaze, dressed in nothing but pure sin. He doesn't back away when you approach him this time.

"You're a smart man, Kakashi. You've got all the information you need in that handsome head of yours. The question is: will you use that information to your advantage tonight?" He swallows, heat crawling over his skin the closer you get. Your naked breasts are pressing into his shirt and his fingers are itching to touch you.

"I don't want to take advantage of anything. Especially you." The admission makes you smile as you reach over and grasp his hands, tugging them and laying them on your very naked hips.

"Honestly, it feels like I'm the one taking advantage of you, with how little you're reacting to all of this." Thick fingers twitch, digging into your skin, and you loop your arms around his neck. He's going to die, and he won't even be mad about it.

Then he feels it, the slight tremor in your fingertips where they graze the hairs at his nape. There's the tiniest shake to your legs, the slightest pinch in your brows. Your bottom lip is being chewed once again, your jaw trembling. You're nervous. You're nervous like he is, waiting for him to reciprocate any of what you're giving him. Fuck. He's done for.

The little gasp you let out when he grasps your hips and twists, pinning you to the wall, fuels all of his movements. He's gained a new confidence.

"You're so pretty. Fuck, I can't believe this is real." You gasp again as he yanks his mask down and buries his face in your neck, licking up your pulsepoint and sucking a bruise into your skin.

"Fucking finally. You don't even know how long I've been dying to get you in here, Kakashi." He groans into you as you claw at his clothes, disrobing him as much as you can from where you're stuck beneath his palms.

"Oh yeah? You been thinking about me, pretty girl?" You nod, whine, unbutton his shirt and tug it down his shoulders. When he pulls back to look at you, you practically drool. He's still fit, sure, but there's a softness to him that you find irresistable. The layer of fat makes his gut pudge just a bit, and his arms are still bulging muscle but they're softened by time. He's bigger than you'd expected, wider and stronger and beefier.

"I want you to fuck me until I can't remember my own name." He almost cums in his pants, like a goddamn teenage virgin. All reservations are thrown promptly out the nearest window, his lips on yours in an instant. His hands are all over you, toying with your nipples and squeezing the flesh of your ass. Yours are in his hair, and he lifts you with ease only to drop you onto the bed. You whine when your bodies part, but then you watch him yank his belt off in record time and drop both his trousers and boxers to the floor.

He watches as your pupils dilate and black swallows up your irises.

What a fucking ego boost, huh?

You're about to crawl toward him, you desperately want to feel him in your throat, want to claw at his thighs and feel his fingers tug roughly at your hair as you suck him dry. Instead he crawls over you and pins you to the bed with one hand at your throat.

"Oh no, not tonight baby. I won't last." He kisses your pout away, then sucks more marks into your throat as he reaches down between your legs with thick fingers. The moan you let out has his hips jerking forward, one finger slipping effortlessly into your slick heat. You're absolutely drenched. You whine again, rocking your hips into his hand.

"Don't tease, 'Kashi. Please." Well when you beg so nicely, how could he refuse? A second finger is added, then a third, and when he curls them up and uses his thumb to rub circles into your swollen clit, your whole body arches off the sheets as your breath is nearly punched from your lungs. It doesn't take long at all before you're cumming all over his fingers, soaking his hand and your bed.

"Fuck, do that again, pretty thing." Legs shaking, chest heaving as you gasp for air, skin dewy with sweat from the quickest orgasm of your life. He's already moving, yanking you to the edge of the bed, ignoring your yelp completely as he kneels before you. You whine when you realize the position he's in.

"No fair." He chuckles, and you jolt, his breath hot over your still sensitive pussy.

"Sorry, sweetness. I can't help myself. Be a good girl and cum on my tongue." Then he's eating you out like you're his last meal. His nose nudges your clit with every movement, his deep moans vibrate through your body, and when his fingers find your clit again to give it some much-needed attention, you're falling apart again. Just like he asked. He can see everything from this angle, the way your thighs twitch as they clamp around his head, the way your stomach clenches so tight as you cum, the way your neck is completely exposed as your back arches beautifully off the bed. Sweat glistens over your skin, your hands clawing at his hair and the sheets beside your head.

He's too close to cumming.

Satisfied that you're wiped out, he crawls back over you and swipes a few stray strands of hair from your sweaty forehead. You're still trembling, two quick orgasms in a row making you feel like an exposed nerve ending.

"You okay, baby?" It takes you a second to refocus, but when you do you're beaming.

"Yeah, I'm great. Still want you to fuck me, though." He groans.

"You can't say things like that, love. I'll burst before I get near you." You chuckle, lay your head to the side.

"That's hot. Let me guess, you'll have to use a little blue pill to recover after that?" You damn minx. There's a little shriek that escapes you when he flips you over and yanks your hips up, pinning your face to the bed with one hand in your hair as he hunches over you.

"Careful, little girl, teasing me is dangerous. Wouldn't want to break you so soon." Desperate is how he'd describe your responding moan. With his dick pressed up against your cunt, he feels the way it clenches.

"Break me." Fuck. Fuck. In one hard thrust he's buried deep in your heat, your cunt gripping tight around him for dear life as you moan. He's not small, and the stretch has your eyes rolling back in your head, has your toes curling and your spine coiling tight.

He refuses to cum before you do. He's got an iron will, he refuses to cum early.

You're gasping as his hips slam into the fat of your ass, all the strength he possesses powering every thrust, hands bruising your hips as they claw into your skin like anything less would rip you away from him. He can see your face reddening. You've been fucked so dumb you forgot to breathe, and somehow that makes his cock throb inside you. He stills, curling over your back and burying himself so deep you swear you can feel him in your throat. Your eyes roll back into your skull almost painfully as he brushes your hair from your face, leaves a sweet little kiss on your cheek.

"Breathe, sweetheart. Can't have you passing out on me yet." Your gasp is shuddering, lungs barely inflating with the hiccupping breaths you take.

"There you go. Such a good girl for me, aren't you?" Then you're gone. He can feel you clench around his cock, feel your entire body go stiff and tremble as you cum. It's not a full orgasm, but it's intense, and you've been tipped right over the edge by the praise he'd whispered into your ear.

You're gone, and then he's gone.

He thrusts twice before letting go, filling you up with so much cum it leaks from between your legs and trails down the insides of your thighs in thick rivulets. You're still shaking as he pulls out of you and flips you over, petting your body as you come back down. Tears had fallen at some point, streaking your skin.

"How are you feeling, baby?" Your legs are trembling as you let them fall apart, exposing yourself to him again. The sight of you, absolutely ruined, his cum leaking from your cunt, has his cock painfully jumping to life again, just barely.

"Feel good. So good." Then, being the little temptress you are, you reach down between your legs and finger his cum back into you, moaning and jolting at the sensitivity. Then you bring your fingers to your lips and suck both your juices off the digits, not breaking eye contact with him.

"It's incredible how you can still want more after that." You whine, but smile.

"Of course I want more. I always want more of you. But you don't have to give me any more if you're not feeling up to it." He hums, low and throaty. It sends a very visible shiver up your spine.

"I didn't say that, baby." Effortlessly, he scoops you up and sits up against the headboard, tucking you into his lap with your legs spread over his. One of his massive arms bars over yours, pinning you against his chest while the other hand reaches down and begins toying with your clit. You jolt, still sensitive, squirming to try to get away from his deft fingers.

"What happened to always wanting more?" It's a tease to finally get back at you. It's his turn now, to fluster you and pull you apart. When you don't stop squirming and whining, his palm pulls away and comes back down, a swift smack catching your clit and you squeal.

"Stay still, baby girl. I'm only giving you what you wanted. Greedy little thing you are, don't back out on me now." You sob, your breathing hiccupped and quick while he rubs slow, deliberate circles over the sensitive bud, and you shake your head.

"Not backing out. Feels good, daddy." His hips buck, his moan is loud in your ear, guttural and wrecked. He didn't even think he'd like that kind of thing, but you. Damn it all. He smacks your pussy again, just a little harder, and your moans are matching his as your body recoils and arches as far off of his as you can manage beneath his brute strength. Another smack, another moan, you're shaking again. He's hard again. Harder than he's been in a long time, the throb in his dick constant and needy. He lifts your hips and lines up with you, then sinks you down on his length. You're crying, his dick curving up into your g-spot so well and his fingers toying with your clit making you dizzy.

"Come on, babygirl. Come on daddy's cock again, be good for me." He smacks your clit again, and he can feel every clench and flutter of your cunt around him. You're so close. He brings his hand down again, targeting your poor, swollen clit, his other hand dropping to press into the pouch of your stomach where he can feel his own dick through your belly, and that's all it takes for you to fall apart all over again. But this time, you're screaming, your body thrashing so hard he's having a hard time keeping you against his chest, and warm liquid sprays over his thighs and pools down over his balls. It all has him coming undone as well, a single low grunt before he's shoving his dick deep inside you and emptying whatever he's got left.

Then you're both boneless, panting, sweaty messes on your bed. It takes a long time for either of you to move, the sweat cooling over your bodies and making you both sticky. He thinks maybe you've fallen asleep, but is proven wrong when you whimper as you shift, his soft cock slipping from your cunt and making him hiss from the sensitivity. You roll over, off of him, and lay your head on his chest. Your laugh is light, but riddles with exhaustion.

"I think I almost died there, Kakashi." He snorts out a laugh, tugging you close.

"Glad I can make you feel good. You don't regret any of this?" It's adorable, how you tilt your head in confusion, lift yourself to hover above him.

"Why would I?" He shuts his eyes for the admission.

"I'm not exactly young, sweetheart. A lot of people would say I'm too old for you." You scoff, press a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"Like I give a damn what they think. I'm old enough to know what I want, and I'm also old enough to make my own decisions." One eye peeks open, staring up at you with more than a little hesitation. You only roll your eyes.

"If I didn't want this, I wouldn't have stripped naked in front of you in my own bedroom. Come on, I thought you were smarter than this Kakashi. Isn't old age supposed to come with wisdom?" He groans, dragging a hand down his face.

"Enough with the damn old jokes. It makes me feel..."

"Old?" He deadpans, you laugh.

"Okay, okay. I'll stop. For now." His sigh is heavy, but you know he loves the teasing. You lean down once again to give him a peck on the lips, then pry yourself from his grasp and yank him to stand with you.

"Come on, we gotta shower and I gotta change the sheets." His hum is amused as he looks back at the mess you made, then back at you as you drag him toward what he assumes is the bathroom.

[hiraethwrote]

she thought you were cute

summary: you've never had to worry about getting jealous being with Megumi. but one time has to be the first, right?

[ loner!megumi x popular!reader ]

cw: college au, aged up characters, f!reader, sorority!reader, megumi being oblivious, jealousy!!, reader is kinda mean ngl, mild profanity (one use of hell), fluff

word count: 2.6k

Was jealousy a hot topic in your relationship? Well, it wasn’t unheard of. There was no denying you quickly garnered a respectable reputation as a part of the biggest sorority on campus — not to mention your radiating personality and beauty just had eyes draw towards you wherever you went. This did tend to ignite the tiniest spark of jealousy in Megumi, understandably so.

But god forbid he did anything about it — that would mean causing a scene which wasn’t his style. He mostly stuck to groaning a few curses to himself, complaining to his friends about the idiots who thought they stood a chance with you before he quickly relaxed once you joined them just to latch onto him.

You, on the other hand, were a different case.

There had never really been any situations to bring out the jealous side of you. You knew it existed, as you had never been very forgiving when people stepped into the territory of what was yours. But dating the quiet and reserved guy had its unforeseen advantages. Megumi did what he could to stay out of the limelight, never making heads turn. It had you feel special, being the the lucky girl to discover the hidden gem that was Megumi.

Or maybe you had just been lucky enough to discover him first.

His brooding and mysterious personality that had once made people steer clear of him in hallways, seemed to have a different affect in university. Suddenly you weren’t alone in making eyes at him.

You first became aware of this fact one random Wednesday, when you had planned to meet up with Megumi and his small group of friends in the library after a full day of classes to get some light reading done. You’d gotten a little confused when you had come to join their booth to find only Nobara and Yuji, while Megumi’s stuff was abandoned.

“Where’s Megs?”

Nobara didn’t even lift her head from her book, simply waving her hand in his general direction. Sitting down in the empty seat, you spotted him across the room, seemingly in deep conversation with a girl you had never seen before.

Wait- was that a smile you saw lurking on his lips?

Unfamiliar heat raised up your neck looking at the pair, how he casually had his hands stuffed in the pockets of his pants while she stood sweetly, her books pressed to her chest under her crossed arms.

“Nobara?” She only hummed softly in confirmation she heard you. “Who’s she?”

“Huh?” Her curiosity had her tilt her head to meet your grumbling expression staring daggers past her. She followed your gaze to observe the scene you were silently cursing. “Oh, that’s Yukiko. They have a few classes together.”

“Hmpf.” Your displeased tone caused Yuji’s attention to shift away from his laptop as well. Unbeknownst to you, the two of them shared an amused look, never expecting you to be the one to succumb to the cheap hex of jealousy. “So are they like friends or what?”

Nobara had lost all interest in delving deeper into her curriculum, because the sight of you leaning back in the chair, frumpy expression tightening your features and body jitter with agitation was a hell of a lot more entertaining.

“If you count sharing study notes as friends,” Yuji shrugged thinking his comment would be of help, but when he turned to look at you again he swore he could see a twitch under your eye.

You licked your lips, trying to peer your eyes off of the two… only succeeding for a second before you snapped your head in their direction again.

Tracing your eyes up and down her body, you were not quite a fan of what you observed, because strictly based on her appearance she looked a lot like a girl one thought Megumi would be with. She wore a dark and oversized outfit, her face kind, but had no distinct characteristics — definitely not the person to stick out in a room.

But the way she carried herself, hiding just under her cute and quiet exterior was a behaviour that reminded you of someone; you before Megumi. By the way she batted her eyelashes at him and occasionally twirling her hair around her finger, you had a sneaking suspicion she wasn’t as innocent as she appeared to be. Those were all tricks you knew all too well. You had perfected them, in fact. And now she was very charitably throwing them in the direction of your boyfriend.

And though you knew it meant nothing, you absolutely hated the fact that he was so politely accepting her gestures — because when you had presented yourself so sweetly to him way-back-when, he had shut you down.

The obnoxious sound of you frantically tapping your pen against the open book in front of you filled the space between the three of you, it being the only thing that stopped you from stomping over to them and prove to her she was definitely wasting her time.

Finally, their conversation came to an end, and there was no stopping your eyes from narrowing into a venomous squint when she so adorably wiggled her dainty fingers goodbye before he came to sit by the table.

“How was class?” Megumi asked softly, settling into a feeling of comfort now that you had finally joined him for the day — sadly, his usual sweet tone flew right over your head, the image of this Yukiko still gnawing at the back of your mind.

“Hm? Oh, just fine. Nothing out of the ordinary,” you shrugged nonchalantly, turning to your notes as if nothing was bothering you.

However, you weren’t fooling Megumi, who from the second you opened your mouth knew something wasn’t quite right. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” You shot him a small smile before returning to your work.

He only let his curious gaze linger on you for a few more seconds, hoping the reason for the annoyance you were trying to hide would show itself to him. But it never did — you just continued to let your pen travel hastily across the blank pages of your notebook, simply trying to erase the image of the girl he’d been talking to.

Megumi wanted to question you further, not really at peace when he knew something had you scowl. But he also knew if you didn’t flat out tell him what it was, it was better to let your frustration die out on its own. Whatever was going through your mind, you yourself thought you were being silly — and digging deeper would only hinder your process of letting it go.

Eight days went by before she triggered your jealousy again. And this time you didn’t manage to shove the thought of her to the darkest and most forgettable corners of your mind.

Entering his small dorm, you were greeted by the most charming little smile while he lazily paced around the room with his phone pressed to his ear. You didn’t hesitate to throw your bag on the kitchen counter before shuffling over to snake both arms tightly around his waist, pulling a low grunt from his lips at the sudden pressure of your embrace.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll see you soon.” Once he hung up, he threw his phone on the bed before he loosely wrapped his arms around you in return.

“Who was that?” You hummed quietly, eyes closed as you basked in his warmth that embraced you so lovingly.

“Just Yukiko who needed to borrow one of the books from the reading list.”

It didn’t take more than the sound of her name to evaporate the relaxation in your muscles. You slowly unlatched your arms around him and took a step back, letting them swing carelessly at your sides.

“She doesn’t have her own?” With a forced bounce in your step, you returned to your bag to retreat your phone, needing anything to fidget with in order to keep the flaming feeling inside you from blowing up.

“She does, but she forgot it when she was home from campus this weekend.”

“And the library doesn’t have a spare copy?”

“Apparently they were all checked out already.”

“Apparently,” you said spitefully, keeping your eyes fixated in the shut off device in your hand.

The unfazed act you put on served as much as a shear lace fabric, jealously shining through like a bright light. It was definitely a behaviour he’d never had the fortune of experiencing up close.

It reminded him a little of the impression he had gotten of you from afar, before he had the privilege of knowing you. Though he had never thought of you to be mean, some of the stereotypes of a popular girl he had theorised about, had proven over time to be a correct assumption — like the fact that you might have been a little spoiled. You definitely weren’t big on not getting what you wanted, especially when someone else wanted it as well.

“She wasn’t too far from here, so I was just going to meet her real quick and drop it off,” he said calmly as he went over to his bookshelf to pull out the book, which he had finished reading nearly two weeks ago.

“I’ll come with you!” Spinning around to face him again, you had your arms cutely tucked behind your back, sporting a smile sweet as sugar.

“It’s only gonna take like ten minutes-“

“No, no,” you cut him off, the forced cheerfulness in your voice slightly scaring him. “I’ll come with.”

Megumi definitely wasn’t the type of person to initiate a lot of public displays of affection, but he never shut it down whenever you rested your head on his shoulder when taking the train, or lacing your fingers with his when walking through campus.

However, the possessive grip you had on his hand right now was certainly different. He wouldn’t necessarily say unpleasant, because it was still you after all, but he did miss the tenderness your touch usually supplied.

“You’re meeting her here?” You asked, a somewhat mean lilt to your voice as you eyed the café you were standing in front of. With a roll of the eyes, he held the door open for you to walk in first, shielding away how the corner of his lips tugged upwards — because even though he hated to admit it, there was a small part of him that found it all slightly amusing.

It was always him who wallowed in the uncomfortable feeling of jealousy, lathering himself with patience whenever people ogled you. And here you were, grinding your teeth together at the first girl who talked to him — who even if she was flirting, Megumi was completely oblivious to it.

“Megumi!” Both your heads turned towards the voice, you having to lean forward to catch a glimpse of her past your boyfriend. When her eyes landed on you, a flash of stress travelled across her face before her smile returned to her glossed lips.

“Hey,” he spoke politely as the two of you approached her table, while you only flashed your pearly teeth in a confident smile.

“Hi,” you said, stretching your hand you straight. She reluctantly returned the handshake as you introduced yourself. “It’s so nice to meet you!”

“Nice to meet you too. I’m Yukiko.” Her tone was friendly enough, but you didn’t dare put your guard down, scouting for any subtle advances she might throw in his direction.

“Here you go,” Megumi said, handing her the thick book.

“You’re a lifesaver, Megumi! Don’t know what I’d do without you.”

With a burning sensation, you were convinced your instincts were right. The faintest shimmer in her eyes when she looked at his face was enough to expose her. And to think she had the guts to let her interest shine through when you were standing right there.

For the first time in a long time, your territorial side was brought out, making you hook your arm with his, deliberately drawing her attention to your hand grabbing his in a firm grip.

“So the two of you are like study buddies, I understand it?”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” she chuckled nervously, fingers tightening around the book in her hands.

“No?” Narrowing your eyebrows in faux confusion. “Thought you had shared notes and stuff?” When tilting your head to the side, your entire body shifted position which had you tug Megumi closer to you, but you managed to make it look so effortless — like you’re intentions were as pure as the driven snow.

“Sometimes,” she muttered, once again letting her gaze flicker to your hands.

Scarlet colour was slowly spreading across Megumi’s face, the heat melting his frozen posture. “We have to get going,” he mumbled shyly, slowly starting to back away towards the exit, pulling you along with him.

“Yeah, of course,” Yukiko said, the positive rhythm sneaking its way back to her words now that they were directed at Megumi again. “See you around.”

“Yeah, see you around,” you said with a slight bite to your tone, your fake smile blending into the frustrated scrunch of your nose. Megumi only had time to shoot her a tight lipped smile before the two of you exited the cafe in a hurry.

Once outside, reunited with air that wasn’t suffocating with hostility, your hand now held onto his with the care he was familiar with, your steps much lighter. You definitely seemed more at peace now when you had established your assertive character.

“She seems nice,” you cooed. Your attention snapped to him when he instantly snorted at your statement. By the slightly playful look he gave you, you thought he might have held back that reaction for a while.

“You know I always see through your lies, right?” He teased.

“Pfft,” you scoffed, retreating your hand from between you to blithely shove his shoulder. “I’m not lying!” His neck tilted to the side, soft squint staring right at you, causing the confession to tumble out without any struggle. “Fine, I don’t like her! But can you blame me?”

“Has she done something to you?”

Your feet stopped walking, blinking dumbfounded at him, letting his sentence digest in order to see if he was actually being serious. “You’re kidding?” All he did was shrug. Could he really be so blind? “You didn’t see what was going on there?”

“You’re telling me there was something to see?”

“Megumi, baby,” you chuckled lightheartedly, coming up to him to place a hand on each side of his face. “Do you think I was jealous over nothing?”

“I dunno,” he mumbled with yet another pull of his shoulders.

The adverse sprinkle to your mood was entirely forgotten, too smitten by the heedless behaviour of your boyfriend, not entirely convinced he actually hadn’t picked up on her attempt to catch his interest.

“She thought you were cute.” Another huff met you, accompanied by an exaggerated roll of the eyes. “No, I’m serious Megs,” you laughed, a sound that had his eyes instantly lock on you again. “But, the thing is, I’m the only one who’s allowed to think so.”

“Oh, is that right?” A smirk crept up on his lips.

“You’re my boyfriend after all, are you not?” You teased him, taking your bottom lip between your teeth to swallow back the satisfactory that had festered in you, now about to spill out in victorious smiles.

Again rolling his eyes, hiding how we was just a little flattered at your antics, before indulging in the rare act of taking the lead in showing his affection. Draping his arms around your neck, he pulled you to his chest in a comforting hug.

“I sure am.”

tags (taglist is open) @sad-darksoul @nyahctrl @ssetsuka @aceakariii @chxlexauriana @ps-forgetmenot @thejujvtsupost @acowboykisser

if your @ is highlighted in pink, i was unable to tag you... tumblr is not cooperating sorry <3

a/n this is didn't end up as well as i pictured it in my mind but oh well... don't have all that many ideas atm, so might come another fic of them soon

reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated

plagiarism not authorized

[ang3lofdivinity]

⋆｡‧˚ʚ 𝖲𝗐𝖾𝖾𝗍 𝖳𝗈𝗈𝗍𝗁! ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Relationship(s): Slightly Yandere!Sprout + GN!Toon!Reader

Genre: Fluff, some angst eventually

Format: Short story + headcanons

Warnings: Mentions of injuries, yandere/possessive behavior, otherwise none!

A/N: Sorry for such the long hiatus! School is CRAZY rn. + my life overall :’)). Take this Sprout stuff because I LOVE Dandy’s. Also, do note that the reader is a bit clumsy! Along with the fact this is a bit self indulgent.. (I promise, I’ll make Cosmo x Reader x Sprout stuff soon… trust)

Part 1: current | Part 2: In the works..

Now, this is an interesting circumstance you’ve gotten yourself into!

I wanna guess that you’re a toon that works in the diner along with Sprout, and Cosmo.

Maybe you’re a kinda dessert food item? Like, a Milkshake?

I also wanna say that you’re kinda like a waitress for the diner. Someone who runs out the food, rings in food, assigns people to different tables, etc.

You’re a hard-worker, someone who overachieves in their job. Working extra hours to help Sprout and Cosmo, and so on. You love your job, and you love your best-friends!

You and Cosmo’s friendship came before you and Sprout even knew each other. Sure, you’ve heard him be mention by others, especially Cosmo, but never really met him in person before. Well, up until Cosmo asked if you wanted to work with him and Sprout in the diner, given your experience working within the food industry before and such.

And after your interview and background check: you had officially started working as a waitress for the diner!

Cosmo was your only friend for a while, though you were cordial with Sprout- you just didn’t speak to him as much as you did Cosmo.

Though, that was until you had kitchen duty for the night.

You hummed along to the sound of the song that was playing in your headphones, washing dishes in the back of the kitchen while being oblivious to your surroundings. Placing the wet dishes and silverware on the drying mat in their respective places, you felt pleased with your work today and were in a decently good mood: no rude customers, you didn’t have to clean up most of the diner today… it was all going well!!

Well, that was until afterwards.

You checked over everything, making sure every little thing was in its proper place for the night so you could finally clock out for the night.

See, your job here at the diner is simple: serve as a waitress for the costumers, do any extra work such as doing the dishes after closing hours and sweeping the floors, and then finally clock out for the night. Simple as ever, right?

You enjoy your job. You like living here with the rest of the toons in the neighborhood! Sure, you have those bad days that always get you in a sour mood- but everyone has that problem eventually! It’s not just you. Besides, your friends are always gonna be there to help!

Finishing up your business in the kitchen, you sighed. Today was a busy day, and it had DRAINED you! So now, it was time to go home and relax, eat something, and then pass out for the night. It’s a routine that you enjoy. And on the days that you have off from work are pretty uneventful, but still enjoyable in the long run.

Turning on your heel, you began walking towards the corridor so you could head off and grab your stuff to clock out, before you suddenly stopped.

..why does it feel like you’re forgetting something.

Your brows furrowed, trying to make yourself move forward- but you couldn’t. You physically couldn’t move forward anymore and you have no clue WHY.

Taking a deep breath, you turn to look behind you where you see you’ve left one of the cupboards open! (You swear you closed it, but I guess you just simply forgot to and convinced yourself that you did).

So, you do what you were supposed to do: close it.

But the moment your foot lands when you’re so close to it, though, you feel yourself slipping. Your arms flail wildly, reaching for anything solid to latch onto as the world blurs and spins around you.

With a very futile attempt, you tried to stop your fall by grabbing onto the nearest— ….

…

Something just grabbed you.

Instead of the inevitable crash, you’re caught.

Though, with your eyes screwed shut with fear, you’re too nervous to see what happened. Your breath comes in short gasps as you cling tightly to whatever—whoever—has kept you upright. Clinging onto whatever you can to keep you from getting any more bruises than your clumsy self gets on a normal basis already is better than nothing.

If staying like this means you’re safe, then you’re willing to stay like this for—

“..You good?”

A voice spoke up. It’s.. rather closer than you would’ve thought, it’s almost as if it was right next to you kinda close. This doesn’t sound like someone you know like Cosmo, but it does sound familiar in some way that you can’t put your finger on.

Slowly, your eyes open up.

And what do you see?

..Sprout!

Your best guess is that he probably came into the kitchen while you were walking back, and you hadn’t noticed him until now. Or something banal like that, like in those silly rom-com movies.

To describe Sprout himself… : He’s strawberry that only wears a white scarf with pink stripes wrapped around his neck that also drapes over his back. He has five mint green, simple leaves, three of which rest atop their head while the other two cover his forehead like bangs. He has dark, red blush with three black freckles on each cheek. His limbs are a vivid shade of light red with white gloves covering both hands. You can’t see anything other than that- but you know that he was white and punk striped socks, and a friendship bracelet to match with Cosmo.

Cosmo’s excited look when he showed you his.. it still replays in your mind.

You pop yourself out of your reverie, blinking repeatedly as you focus back on Sprout.

“Oh—yeah—sorry!” You squeaked out, attempting to gather yourself. But you were still too stunned to move, body frozen in place due to the shock. Realizing you weren’t going to get up anytime soon, you sighed, feeling a little defeated.

Sprout didn’t hesitate. “I’ll get you checked out. Here—” he said, scooping you up in his arms before you could protest.

Your face IMMEDIATELY flushed a deep pink as he lifted you bridal style, causing your heart to race even faster.

You opened your mouth to say something, but no words came out. All you could do was wrap your arms around his neck, your embarrassment overwhelming her as you held on tight to him.

It wasn’t meant to be such a romantic gesture, simply just trying to help you!

..right?

“Thank you, Sprout..”

That was your first ever meeting!

Cliché, no?

But: you were safe, alive, and your injuries all got healed up (which were a couple burns on your hands from using water which was too warm, and a few cuts here and there).

You found out the reason that he even caught you in the first place is because he had rounded the corridor when you just started walking back over into the kitchen! He had come to check up on you and your work so far because it was late at night.

You thanked Sprout tenfold, offering to do nearly anything as payback for helping you.

Which he then.. forced you to take some baking lessons with him.

He needed more bakers, after all!!

You wondered how this would turn out…

TO BE CONTINUED..

A/N: IM SORYRYRYE. This is such a bad drabble. It’s 1 am as we speak bro.

[elvensorceress]

In all the excitement about bi!Buck, (which— yay! Amazing! Very exciting! No notes!) I think there’s a part of this story we’re missing. I haven’t seen anyone talk about it, so have some rambling.

 It wasn’t just Buck who looked at this experienced, older, queer man and wanted to know him. It was also Eddie. 

We have never seen Eddie go so hard, so immediately for anyone. To the point his best friend of years felt like he was being ignored by him. Yes, Buck wanted Tommy’s attention for obvious reasons. But he was also slighted by the perceived lack of attention from Eddie. 

Suddenly, Eddie is spending multiple times a week going out with this man. Going to Vegas with this man. Working out with him, working on his car with him, doing karaoke and trivia night with him? Asking his alleged girlfriend to babysit more than once so that he can go out with Tommy? Obviously, it was from jealous!Buck’s point of view, but seriously. If Buck felt ignored, what is Marisol even thinking? Did Eddie bother to make time for his new girlfriend? What spare time would he even have if they work several 24 hour shifts and he’s also gone out with Tommy at least three times in one week? And is probably planning more?

Not that I think Eddie’s feelings for Tommy are necessarily in the same vein as Buck’s feelings for Tommy. But my gosh, Eddie giggly and kicking his feet and twirling his hair while on the phone with Tommy was so very loud. And actually a pretty neat contrast to being distracted and trying to text Marisol “hey mari it me eddie” to ask her out. Eddie’s sudden infatuation with Tommy was a thousand times more than anything we’ve seen from him for anyone. Considering that what he stated he wanted was the magical chemistry he’d found when he and Shannon got together, like… is that not what he just found with Tommy? 

Again, it doesn’t necessarily mean Eddie has any explicit romantic or sexual attraction toward Tommy. I suppose he could? But the point is more that wow, there is some kind of intense draw pulling Eddie to him even if we interpret it as platonic. 

Buck says at the end of the ep that they met this guy and he was so cool and Buck wanted to get to know him. Which makes sense given that Buck is canonically crushing on him and going to be dating him. But Eddie was actually the one who got there first. Eddie also had a reaction somewhere along those lines of “he’s really cool, I need to know him” to the point where he’s all of a sudden spending most if not all of his free time with him. 

And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this person Eddie wants to spend time with is an experienced, out queer man who is comfortable in his own sexuality and his own masculinity. (He has so much in common with Eddie! They have so many similar interests! They have a magical click together that makes Eddie want to be around him all the time! There’s so much they can do together!) 

Eddie might not have even known it, maybe in the same way Buck also didn’t know it, but Eddie definitely latched onto that, too. Which is very interesting, no? Very— queers finding each other and bonding over shared experiences even before they know that’s what they’re doing. 

It can easily be someone who is likely confused about their own feelings but knows they are having certain feelings just not the names to put to those feelings, and consequently seeking guidance and reassurance that there are other people who are just like them who have these feelings as well. It’s realizing how they can be themselves, that they can be queer in a way that fits who they are instead of what they might conceptualize as queer because of stereotypes and preconceived notions. It’s learning you can be you and also be queer. That there are people like you out there. 

Eddie found something with Tommy that he hasn’t been shown to have found anywhere else. It’s a new and different thing for him, too. And if it were just about excitement over a new friend, why is it so much so quickly all at once? Eddie’s a social person. He’s a friendly, charming, charismatic person. He has friends. But it feels like this is a very different sort of friendship for him. 

And the fact that this is the same man who just gave Buck his bisexual awakening is verrrry inch resting. 

Also regardless of what kind of feelings Eddie and Tommy might have been having for each other, they were so going on dates. Flying someone to Vegas because you have tickets that have been sold out for weeks to something they enjoy? Like damn Eddie. You pulled a sugar daddy. 

Anyway. Eddie is queer, too. Double sexuality awakenings, ready go!

That is all! 💕

[blueskittlesart]

Okay, I'm curious cause I've only played Wind Waker, and BotW/TotK: Why is Link sometimes left-handed, sometimes right-handed? I assume it's because of possible motion controls, and not a Lore Reason.

He was definitively left-handed up until they started putting out games on the wii, barring a few anomalies like flipped sprites (there's like one sprite in NES loz where he's got the sword in his right hand) and oot 3d master quest (the entire game is mirrored.) I've heard a few reasons for this, including miyamoto being left-handed and a left-handed sword swing looking better from most angles for the original 2d sprites, but to my knowledge we don't have an official reason as to why this was the general rule. up until botw the answer for the right-hand switch was definitively motion controls--both skyward sword and the wii version of tp would flip depending on the hand the player uses. (I know that in the gamecube version of tp he was always left-handed but I don't have sksw HD so I'm not sure which hand he uses by default with button controls. he's drawn right-handed in pretty much all promo art for that game tho.) However, botw didn't have motion control options but still went with a right-handed link. there are a few potential explanations for that--I wouldn't be surprised if they were toying with the idea of a motion-controlled sword swing early on since the switch does have that capability but ended up scrapping it in the dev process, but it's also entirely possible that since they'd been working with a (predominantly) right-handed link for their 2 most recent home console releases they just. didnt bother switching back. lmfao.

from a lore standpoint though my personal headcanon/theory/whatever you want to call it is that botw link is right handed because that's what's expected of him. Botw link is a character who is very very very conscious of peoples' perceptions of him and the expectations on his shoulders; it's arguably one of his most defining traits pre-memory-loss. When you picture a soldier, you picture the sword in their right hand. I don't think that it's a deliberate CHOICE in-universe to use his right hand, but i do think that being left-handed has the potential to give someone pause when talking about him, which is something that botw link can't have. Nothing can be even slightly out of the ordinary with him, because if it is it's something for the gossip-hungry public to latch onto. (I don't necessarily think that a left-handed link would have been more or less scrutinized in this context than a right-handed one, but being left-handed would have definitely been something of note, especially in the context of a swordsman, and link's whole thing in this game is that he really doesn't want people scrutinizing him any more than they already are.) In this sense, his being right-handed sort of affirms this picture-perfect image he's attempting to project, which is important in the context of the rest of the game. Again, there's no proof that this is actually the reasoning behind the decision, but I personally think the decision to make him right-handed for botw was a good one. I also like that eow went back to left-handed link tho! It's cool that we're getting variety and I think it'd be interesting if they started playing with that difference more in the future beyond just the necessity of hand-switching for motion controls.

[agentravensong]

how do i enjoy rosencrantz & guildenstern are dead? is there a good way to experience it

IMO, if you're entirely new to the play, the best first impression you can have of it is the 2017 National Theater Live production, viewable here. That link also has a copy of the script, though I'd recommend waiting until after you've watched the play to read it. Because it's an absurdist work, if you're just reading the script as your first exposure to the story, it can be hard to follow or connect with. Watching a performance of it, watching two people embody Ros and Guil and seeing their chemistry, it's much more likely to hit emotionally. Even if you're just as lost as the protagonists, when you're watching and hearing it, you can latch onto the Vibe and get it on that level, you know?

If you end up enjoying the show, my next recommendation would be to check out the 1990 film version. I love that Ros and Guil just as much as NTL's, and it features my favorite version of the main player/tragedian. A lot of small things get changed because of the different medium and it's interesting to compare back to the play.

And if you're still hungry for more after that, a) congrats on getting bit by the RAGAD bug, b) sorry, c) check out this post for more tumblr peer-reviewed productions!

One extra note: Because the play is about two side characters from Shakespeare's Hamlet, knowing at least the basic outline of what happens in Hamlet will fill in some gaps and make the show easier to follow. If you don't have that knowledge already, I wouldn't say you're required to look it up before watching this show; like I implied earlier, it is a kind of special experience to watch it while being just as out of the loop as the protagonists. But for further delving into the play, the more you know about Hamlet, the more allusions and such you'll find in RAGAD that make it all the deeper. Maybe look into it in between watching the NTL and movie versions? Up to you.

[ratwithhands]

Haha concept art dump go brrr anyways I had a vivid flashback to Burst AU and remembered an idea I wanted to draw.

Since Emmet fuses to Nihilego directly through Burst rather than attaching to it as a host, he is still able to use its parasitic abilities to latch onto someone. This is the dual pilot vision for Ingo and Emmet using Nihilego together.

This was an idea I could see happening at the final battle for that AU, and honestly it might replace it because this teamwork concept is much more interesting than the OHKO that happens in the original (though ig that means Durant is out of a job plot-wise). Guess I might end up scrapping Celebi after all ^^

Alright so for design notes,

There's more limbs because there's two people running the show, also though it'd be funny to colour code them

Since Emmet is partly Nihilego in Burst, he comprises the actual body that Ingo is suspended in/connected to. In Lusamine's form, Nihilego has a section at the back that has more limbs connected. Emmet is fused to that at the hips, and as such has to lean or hold onto Ingo to reach him/see what he's seeing

Since I have Lusamine's picture here, the twins have a different shaped bell. It's like two bubbles intersecting, since it has a rounded section around both Ingo and Emmet. It's a bit bigger in the back though

The joints are more angular!! They actually have a triangle pattern both on the edges and holes, and the limbs will match a specific orientation

They can hold hands :) (they pilot different sections of the body)

I am verrrrry tired (It's quite late when I'm writing this) and I can't think of too much else to say. Have a good day and see you later ^^

[cloudedcreams]

Can we have a yandere who fell in love with reader because she was quiet and gave off the air of some sort of elegant princess or something while also being kind (because she'd look out for the people around her without expecting anything in return, and that includes him. And him being the oily haired, awkward, friendless little freak he is couldn't help but latch onto her), but when he starts stalking her/befriends her (or both), he learns that she's actually really fucking talkative and highkey autistic? As in, stims a lot (constantly fiddling with objects, making strange noises, clapping, shaking her head or the classic, flapping her hands) or info-dumping or poor regulation of vocal volume because he finds her at a point where she's relaxed and no longer masking!

And I say "she" or princess", but if you so please, you can definitely make it gender neutral. I just use feminine pronouns because I'm a girl.

I'm hesitant to write this request though since some authors are hesitant to write neurodivergent characters if they have no prior knowledge, so it's okay to ignore this request <3 I completely understand the discomfort of writing something so unfamiliar. Or, you don't necessarily have to diagnose reader with anything, and simply write them off as someone that acts vastly different when they're relaxed and is free from judgement.

If it's not obvious, I'm an autistic mascot🥰 (dubbed by my friend, lol).

I was going to do this anonymous but then I realised that cringe is dead and I've requested for worse things. Shyent represents!!!

Also, is it embarrassing that I made 2 requests in a day? But then again, how many of y'all are making several requests anonymously🤨

But also, I talk too much!! So additionally, hi, you like jazz? (what's your favourite song this month)

...Atp, you should actually just ignore me.

i love hearing people yap like this lowk lit my soul up a bit like this is so cool of you. you’re epic. 😾

my favourite song this month… ‘nope youre too late i already died’. obsessed with it from the moment it was released last month and after his suicide. literally crazy oh my days, i was so heartbroken </3 rip wifi skeleton. ❤️‍🩹 🕊️

cringe doesn’t exist, i have a fucking yandere blog i genuinely do not judge people at all. PLEASEEE never be shy with requests like i promise you i love hearing the amazing ideas people come up with. and when i tell you waaah this one filled me with joy.

i’m all too pleased to write about an autistic character! …i am… also… autistic! 😂 boo! did the autism scare you! 😂

okay that was genuinely so unfunny it feels like an inside joke but it’s not idk what possessed me to write that oh my days yk that trend where people think autism is all cool and silly, yeah.

on a real note, i received my diagnosis years ago and oh lord 🤦🏾‍♀️. living hell. i’ve become a lot more comfortable being myself and i don’t see it as a negative thing at all. gives me an excuse to use my special interest as a reason for excessive merch and i adore info dumping. autism definitely isn’t the ‘funsies’ that a lot of shitty social media pages try to make it seem like, but i could never see it as anything less than a blessing either. <3

anyways ahahshs corny rant im so tired im deadass gonna crash ill try to have this out tmrw. bonne nuit.💝

[ravinoforre]

So I saw an opinion on a character that I, respectfully, don't agree with at all, and it isn't the first time I've come across this particular take either. I don't like nor want fandom discourse, making counter points to arguments in general make me nervous, but as someone particularly attached to them and their related characters, I have a lot of thoughts I want to get out there in the hopes that maybe they can be seen from a more positive perspective. So um, here they are. Get comfortable, this is gonna be a long one. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In Defense of Lily (Pokémon XD).

Those of you who've played this might already know what I'm referring to, so I'm just going to rip off the proverbial band-aid. Right at the start of the game, as you, the player, are being introduced to her, one of the first things she says is;

...and ok yeah, I admit. This is kind of a weird thing for her to say (in front of her son too, oops). This is usually one of two instances that people latch onto to prove she's an awful mother, but there is, at least in my opinion, some hidden context to her words. First of all, she's not wrong; the whole lab does in fact constantly sing their praises and fawn over both these kids (which is adorable tbh). Secondly, it's not unreasonable for her to believe that lots of inflated praise on a child, no matter how well meaning, may have negative consequences on their development. A kid receiving a constant stream of "you're so cool/special/talented" may end up with an inflated ego and become depressed, or even lash out in anger, if that praise either stops or something comes along to disprove it (like failing a test or making a mistake).

(Side note, I came across some partially related studies (x), (x) and an article from a parental psychologist (x) that go into different types of praise given to children; person, or ability praise ("you're so clever") vs process, or effort praise ("you worked really hard"), their effect on self esteem, personal growth, and performance, and how ability praise actually negatively effects a child's sense of worth compared to effort praise or even no praise at all. It's a lot to go through right now and this post is already going to be super long, but I mention them here because I'll go into something later that you may find rather interesting. I know I do. They're fascinating reads, too, I would recommend!)

Now listen up! Lily, contrary to the belief that she's a cold-hearted mother who shuns her offspring, actually does praise and engage with her children! Throughout the story, she'll talk to Michael and say some interesting and wonderful things as his adventure continues! The problem is that unfortunately, a lot of this proof is hidden throughout each story beat in a section of the lab that is no longer required to enter to progress (and most people won't bother to go back and speak to their own mother who apparently "hates" them). Off to find Jovi:

🥹 baby... Before saving Phenac City:

🥺😭euuhhbbebeh father mentioned During the Phenac City hostage situation:

After the Phenac stuff:

"I'm proud of you." You literally cannot get a more explicit form of praise than I'm proud of you. Hell, I can't even recall a time my own mother told me that. Fucking hell. Also. Pampered?! You hear that? She's practically contradicting those accursed two lines! By her own admission, the kids are pampered babies! Her concern isn't that people will spoil them—because they're already spoiled!

(Jovi is a pampered baby princess). I think Lily's worry in her comment is that may roll too far; it's like she says—spoiled rotten.

Ok one more example for this section:

(disclaimer: these screenshots are from the romhack XG which is why her name isn't in all caps; trust me, this same line is in base XD too) Remember the types of praise I mentioned earlier? Ability (person) praise and effort (process) praise? And how the former could be damaging to a child's self esteem? Do you notice anything particular about the way she speaks to Michael and praises him? "You've become an outstanding trainer in your own right." Not "You're so strong." "You're doing so much for the good of others." "Your courage will save the Shadow Pokémon." Not "You're so brave." "You did it all by yourself without anyone's help." She's praising his actionable efforts! She's applying process praise! (Pleeease read those studies and article, at least the first study I linked, it's genuinely insightful and fascinating, and it's even more amazing that an example of it is featured in a video game by a character most people won't interact with beyond necessity! I love this game! So! Fuckinhg!! Much!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Ahem. She's also not saying that people shouldn't praise her kids either; only that she wishes it wasn't gushing praise all the time. Too much of a good thing could be harmful, after all. Let's see...

Sounds reasonable so far, right?

...Galactic peace?! My brother in Arceus, all he did was beat you in a friendly Pokémon battle—a battle that Michael's already been led to believe he'd win anyway thanks to that previous comment from his coach (those screen caps are in chronological order)! Even without the fact that by this point he's midway through a dangerous fight against a criminal organization, it's probably not a good idea to give a developing young teen a literal God complex; what if he gets so full of himself he genuinely believes he's unbeatable... and then loses? That child's mental state is going to plummet. So even if you don't agree with Lily's praise comments, you might at least better understand where her concerns are coming from if this is potentially the kind of thing that's being told to her kids regularly.

Moving on, try putting yourself in her shoes a moment. She's a working, grieving, single mother of two who, according to an NPC in the lab "has an exceptionally high sense of responsibility".

As a scientist with the necessary expertise, she has the heavy task of helping realise a sensitive project—sensitive not just in terms of urgency (as Krane predicts Cipher is going to be a threat again), but also in terms of emotional weight; this project was something her late [husband] poured everything into until his death, so both her and Krane continued on with it; by the time the game starts, they're agonisingly close to completion. And time is of the essence. Quick tangent: watch the cut scene post Krane kidnap again. The camera rests on Lily an awfully long time. The father of her children died before this project was finished, and now Krane, a close friend of both of theirs, has been taken away by force. Both her children have witnessed something traumatic. Her daughter is sobbing. She's literally being told the situation is "hopeless" by a colleague. Imagine the sheer anguish this woman must be going through before having to push through all of it and take complete charge for the sake of finishing the project. For the morale of the entire lab staff. For the sake of keeping her kids calm. For the fate of the region itself. Anyway, because of this project, and how close they are to finishing, she isn't able to afford much, if any, time off to spend with her kids "this instant". It's probably why the lab staff have pitched in to help look after them (which must make her feel pretty damn guilty with that high sense of responsibility of hers). It's why she asks her son to go find his little sister in her stead.

And this brings me to point number two that I've seen used countless times to slander her:

She just lets Jovi run off on her own, and doesn't care what her kids are up to.

Which... no, sorry, hang on here. Lily isn't letting Jovi run off on her own. For starters, both her and Krane believe she's in or somewhere outside the lab grounds, playing hide and seek with the caretaker, Adon.

A game of hide and seek (particularly if they're taking turns hiding) is likely why nobody's seen her since lunch, by the way, and not Lily not giving a damn about the whereabouts of her child. And when she's found and brought home again, Lily says this;

This implies she's spoken to her daughter about running off on her own before, and we do later get to know that Jovi has a habit of running off ahead; she runs off down the steps in Gateon ahead of her brother, she rushes off to deliver the machine part by herself to the chamber, and even though Michael is the one asked, she runs off to go see Datan—despite Lily telling her she doesn't need to do that. This means if Jovi gets invested in something, it's apparently hard to stop her. Visiting Kaminko's is a recent fixation of hers, and if Adon is already aware of where else she might have gone off to if she's nowhere on lab grounds, it might mean she's been there before (that, or Adon was the one who caved and told Jovi where to find the place). I might even speculate and say Lily has specifically told Jovi before about not running off to the manor. Anyway, check out what she says when you find the little runaway but come back empty handed.

The heart-sinking realisation and disappointment in that "...Oh" alone....

So no, Lily isn't letting her young child run off on her own—Jovi is disobeying her mother. She's either used the game of hide and seek as an excuse to dip (and then forgot about Adon entirely), or she got bored midway through and decided to head to her new place of interest despite any of her mother's previous objections. (And before anyone says anything, no, that doesn't mean Jovi is a bad kid, either. She's, what, around 7 yrs old? She is doing typical little kid things, emulating her older brother, and discovering and pushing her boundaries as she grows up. I have seen some putrid, abysmal hate for her over the years too. She is a child, leave her alone.) Onto the second half of the above statement; she doesn't care what her kids are doing. As in, Michael is on a treacherous journey against a dangerous group of people and she's totally ok with letting her kid do that (as if that isn't the case with practically every mainline entry protag mother but alright, I'll bite).

Introducing one of my favourite exchanges with her in the game. During this time, the purify chamber still isn't complete, and they'll need to use an alternate way of purifying Shadow Pokémon until then—the Relic Stone in Agate Village.

oh it worries her, does it? You know what happens when No is selected?

And then she drops the conversation. There's no endless loop to get him to go, which would have been the more convenient thing for the devs to implement. But this was a very deliberate choice that tells me more about a character than I've seen done in a video game before. She's respecting her son's decision to stay home. She is not forcing him to do something he isn't comfortable with. Of course, as a video game, the purpose is to progress to the next story beat. So he has to go. Better talk to her again.

I don't even think I need to add any extra commentary, this should really speak for itself at this point.

I've also reached the image limit on this post so it's probably time I wrapped this up, so in conclusion; is Lily a bad mother, as I've seen people claim? No, and I believe I've showcased plenty to prove she isn't. She's not perfect, no parent is, but she's a damn sight more involved in her children's lives than the mainline moms, who are often nothing more than out of the way Pokémon Centers that don't acknowledge their child's journey in any meaningful way. So then, was she in the right for saying what she did at the start of the game, right after Krane praises her son, who is in earshot of this conversation? Well... also no. She could have picked a better time and place to bring it up, honestly. But God forbid a woman make a mistake or voice a concern, lest her be mischaracterized and demonized forever by two unfortunately worded lines of dialogue.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Michael, you're finally going off to the ultimate battle, aren't you? You've really grown in stature. As your mother, it makes me feel conflicted. I'm happy and proud on one hand, but I'm also a little sad. Go and get rid of Cipher, and make it quick! And come home safely."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ If you've managed to reach the end of my ramblings, I'd like to say thank you. Hopefully I've given you some food for thought. Maybe I've even changed your mind about her. And even if I haven't, I appreciate you taking the time to read this regardless.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

kings rising highlights & annotations

chapter 8

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

An experienced commander, Damen knew what happened when soldiers rode through populated lands. Given warning, the old and the young, the women and the men would make for the surrounding countryside, taking shelter in the hills with their best cow, or provisions. If not given warning, they were at the mercy of the troop’s leader, the most benevolent of whom would make his men pay for the provisions they took, and the daughters and sons they enjoyed. At first.

i don’t know if i’ve said this before (sarcasm), but i do not like the way traditional akielon culture seems to think it can get away with being depraved just because it pretends to be noble (slavery, war strategy). at least the veretian court and military are self-aware about the ways they suck, and the pets have contracts.

As he spoke, Damen saw a soldier let a dog loose from the chain it strained at. Frowning, he watched it streak across the village, stopping at one of the far outbuildings, scrabbling at the door.

that dog should be at the club

He put his hand on the door of the outbuilding and found it unyielding. It was latched, from the inside. Behind him, a girl’s unsteady voice said, ‘There’s nothing there. Don’t go inside.’ He turned. It was a child of about nine, of indeterminate gender, only maybe a girl. White-faced, she had pushed herself out of the pile of firewood stacked against the building wall. ‘If there’s nothing there, why not go inside?’ Laurent’s voice. Laurent’s calm, invariably infuriating logic, as he arrived, also on foot.

i love compassionate laurent. he is so selective with his protectiveness and care, so it just hits different when he drops the cold bitchy persona like this. it’s like gordon ramsey on masterchef jr

‘Look.’ Laurent dropped to one knee in front of the girl, and showed her the starburst on his ring. ‘We are friends.’ She said, ‘My friends are dead.’

it’s okay, so are his. poor nicaise

‘My Liege,’ he said, and with a spear in his stomach, he was trying to push himself up on one arm to rise for his Prince. He wasn’t looking at Damen. He was looking past him, at Laurent, who was standing in the doorway. Laurent said without looking around, ‘Call for Paschal.’ He stepped into the crude space, moving past the woman, simply putting his hand on the spear shaft she held and drawing it out of the way. Then he dropped to his knees on the dirt floor, where the man had collapsed back onto the straw. He was gazing up at Laurent with recognition. ‘I couldn’t hold them off,’ the man said. ‘Lie back,’ said Laurent. ‘The physician comes.’

he goes to his knees on a dirt floor to comfort a dying man. this entire sequence is one of those tells for the reader, reminding us that laurent exists outside of damen’s limited perception. again, i think i will eventually try to fill in what laurent’s been up to in these first few chapters, because throughout the entire series prior to charcy he and damen had been pretty inseparable

Damen looked around the small, mean room. This old man had fought for these villagers against young, mounted soldiers. Perhaps he had been the only one here with any training, though any training that he’d had would have been from his past; he was old. Still, he had fought. This woman and her daughter had tried to help him, then to hide him.

“the small, mean room.” war isn’t honorable or pretty, in the way akielon culture seems to celebrate it. it’s mean and small (mundane, simple).

from last chapter: “A fair fight?’ said Laurent, turning back to him. ‘No fight’s ever fair. Someone’s always stronger.”

this is not what damen has been led to believe about war. akielos is all about making sure that the people in power are so casually revered that they forget they’re only strong because everyone else is weak. why else do you think slaves are such a huge part of their culture? damen even says last chapter that only the most submissive class of people, slaves, can even come close to his body to dress it. i don’t see any honor in that, being so exalted that you’re untouchable by anyone who could even stand a chance of being your equal. it’s similar to a giant military force attacking villages of innocent and vulnerable people, as we’re seeing here. and while this specific attack wasn’t done by makedon, damen still immediately assumes that it was, which tells us that the akielon army regularly does shit like this.

it’s kind of a big deal, that damen makes such an immediate assumption. he believes that this attack is the doing of akielos, his own nation, following his father’s traditional tactics. and he is very unhappy about that, to the point that he wants to see the person responsible punished with death. damen can’t deny that this fight wasn’t fair, and that makes him so angry that he wants to force a “fair” fight with makedon. but deep down he knows that fighting makedon isn’t fair either, because damen is the stronger man and literally the king. i think we’re seeing damen go through the stages of grief here, both with the loss of his father and the person he used to be. he can no longer deny the things he’s realized are wrong about traditional akielon culture and his own past self, but he hasn’t accepted them either. at this moment, damen is in the bargaining and anger stages, reckoning with the fact that so many things he once thought were fair, never have been fair, and never will be.

He stepped over the blood and knelt as Laurent had in front of the girl. ‘Who did this?’ She said nothing at first. ‘I swear to you, I will find them and make them pay.’

laurent offers the scared child comfort and support, damen demands an explanation and offers vengeance. what a fascinating reversal (laurent seems nice, damen seems mean) that genuinely rings true for them both, trying their best to be their own ideas of Good.

damen is a product of his kingdom’s culture, while laurent is a victim of his kingdom’s culture. damen is rejecting his kingdom’s traditions based on newly-developed moral clarity, but he still hasn’t figured out exactly what kind of king he wants to be. laurent, meanwhile, has told damen that his court is going to be different from his uncle’s court, and we know that’s because laurent himself has been a victim of veretian culture. however, laurent has had a lot more time to develop his own ideas and identity, and we see that here in how he handles the public.

if laurent is a product of anything, it’s his brother’s love. while laurent still sees himself as “tainted,” he idolizes his brother just as much in death as he did in life. even if laurent believes that he will never measure up to auguste’s goodness, he still cares deeply about fighting for a better world, in the same way that he knows auguste would have done. in the same way auguste hadn’t been there to do, for laurent, during those seven long years in arles.

meanwhile, damen has been set rather adrift in terms of how he should fight for a better world, because he’s lost his faith in akielon values, aka the only values he’s really known. his arc throughout this series includes a shift from passive traditionalism to active reform, based on his own constantly evolving ideas of honor and integrity.

She met his eyes. He thought he’d hear fear-darkened flashes, a truncated description, that he’d learn, at best, the colour of a cloak. But the girl said the name clearly, like she’d carved it into her heart. ‘Damianos,’ she said. ‘Damianos did this.

book 1 flogging scene parallel

Outside, when he pushed outside, the landscape lost colour, greying out. He had his hand braced against the trunk of a tree when he came back to himself, and his body shook with anger.

another well-written damen ptsd reaction. i like that it’s pretty understated, too, but the weight is still there

Soldiers shouting his name had ridden in here in the dark. They had cut down villagers with swords, burned them in their houses, a planned move meant to injure him politically. His stomach had heaved as though he had been sick. He felt in himself something dark and unnamed at the tactics of those he fought.

i think what might also be making him sick is the realization that this isn’t all that different from akielon soldiers under his father’s command, doing the same things to enemies of the nation. to kastor, damen is an enemy of akielos, and neither damen nor the innocent people dying as a result of this conflict between kastor and damen have any say in that designation

‘I will give you the honour of trial by combat that you do not deserve,’ said Damen, ‘before I kill you for what you have done here.’

honorable conflict, to damen, is personal and direct. he and laurent have that in common. but war, as akielons do it, is impersonal and indirect. look no further than at the way damen has always regarded the killing of auguste, a stranger—fair, well-met. but he’s seen the consequences of that, and the country that suffered as a result of auguste’s loss. the person he loves, who suffered as a result of auguste’s loss.

by damen’s own internal logic, seen here in his challenge of makedon (“i will give you the honor of trial by combat”), he knows that the war tactics (surprise attacks of random villages) he’s accepted for his entire life are decidedly dishonorable. so he’s pretty emotional about that, and needs an outlet for those emotions, in addition to everything else going on

‘Draw,’ said Damen. ‘For what?’ Makedon gave a scornful look at his surroundings. ‘Dead Veretians?’ ‘Draw,’ said Damen. ‘This is the Prince’s doing. He has turned you against your own people.’ ‘Don’t speak,’ said Damen, ‘unless it’s in contrition, before I kill you.’ ‘I won’t pretend remorse for Veretian dead.’ Makedon drew.

damen doesn’t care that they’re on the same team. teams don’t matter, people do.

The first clash sent Makedon staggering back. The second ripped his sword out of his hands. The third came, death in steel shearing through Makedon’s neck. ‘Stop!’ Laurent’s voice cut across the fight, ringing with unmistakable command. Makedon was gone. Laurent was there instead. Laurent had wrenched Makedon backwards to hit the dirt, and Damen’s sword was driving towards Laurent’s exposed neck. If Damen had not obeyed, his whole body reacting to that ringing command, he would have severed Laurent’s head from his body. But the instant that he heard Laurent’s order, instinct reacted, wrenching every sinew. His sword stopped a hair’s breadth from Laurent’s neck.

this continued reversal between damen and laurent is fascinating. laurent as the defender, damen as the ruthless attacker. laurent acting as damen’s impulse control.

and of course there’s the lingering thread of submission. is this an example of honorable submission? damen’s immediate response to laurent’s command, in this context? this is the most interesting theme to me in the series overall, so i definitely want to keep chewing on it

The steel slid against the fine skin of Laurent’s neck. ‘Another inch and you rule two kingdoms,’ said Laurent. ‘Get out of my way, Laurent.’ Damen’s voice ground in his throat. ‘Look around you. This attack is cold-blooded planning, designed to discredit you with your own people. Does Makedon think like that?’ ‘He killed at Breteau. He wiped out a whole village at Breteau, just like this.’ ‘That was retaliation for my uncle’s attack on Tarasis.’ ‘You would defend him?’ said Damen. Laurent said, ‘Anyone can notch a belt.’ His grip tightened on his sword, and for a moment he wanted it to cut into Laurent. The feeling rose in him, thick and hot. He slammed the sword back into its sheath. His eyes raked Makedon, who was breathing unevenly, looking from one to the other of them. They had been speaking quickly, in Veretian.

god i love damen and laurent. they match each other’s freak in every sense of the expression. it doesn’t matter if they’re enemies or lovers—they’ve always been a perfect team. even in arles, very early on, they fit naturally together. strategically and otherwise.

also, the combination of spoken intimacy through exclusive language, physical intimacy of near-killing, emotional intimacy of damen obeying laurent’s command by instinct, all while VERY VERY public, is just incredible. they do that exact dynamic so well, in so many different instances. even their very first interaction fits into that three-part description: “i speak your language…” (spoken intimacy), laurent knowing damen’s identity and punishing him violently (physical intimacy), damen immediately being down bad even if he doesn’t want to admit it (emotional intimacy).

Damen said, ‘He just saved your life.’ ‘I should give him my thanks?’ Makedon said it, sprawled in the dirt. ‘No,’ said Laurent, in Akielon. ‘If it were left to me, you’d be dead. Your blunders play into my uncle’s hands. I saved your life because this alliance needs you, and I need this alliance to overthrow my uncle.’

of course, the reversal can only go so far. this is a great reminder of laurent’s nice == good mentality, which contrasts with damen’s perspective at the beginning of the series (and still kinda now).

laurent knows that makedon is a possible impediment to his strategic success, and that makedon hates veretians. laurent knows that makedon doesn’t care about the victims here, which almost certainly pisses him (laurent) off, just as it enrages damen. but laurent still steps in to save makedon from damen, despite his moral agreement with the idea of makedon’s death. and laurent explains, openly, that he’s not keeping makedon alive to be nice or merciful—he’s doing it because it’s smart, and he has to be smart to do the actual good thing here, which is overthrowing the regent. that’s a distinctly veretian approach to the situation, and it’s decidedly NON-akielon in its blunt and irreverent honesty. it’s mean, and it’s good.

He wondered if the Regent felt the same furious determination that he did. He wondered how he could be confident that he could deliver cruelty like this, over and over again, without consequences.

i’m sure plenty of people wondered the same of your father, damen. i’m sure laurent wondered the same of you when you killed his brother.

He heard footsteps approaching, and let them draw up beside him. He wanted to say to Laurent, I always thought I knew what it felt like to fight your uncle. But I didn’t. Until today, it was never me he was fighting. He turned to say it.

the irony here, of course, being that the “i always thought” is more an accidental admission of ignorance, than a claim that things happened outside of damen’s perception. as in, people have definitely manipulated damen like this before—jokaste and kastor, for example—but damen has always been very used to a life where he can get away with conveniently ignoring the consequences of others’ deceptions. and this suits him just fine, because he doesn’t like to feel betrayed or alone.

this kind of convenient ignorance is something that laurent was not able to have after auguste’s death, and i think he would prefer not to have it, given his hypervigilance. damen is hypervigilant in his own way, too, but his vigilance manifests as denial to protect himself and preserve his relationships, while laurent’s vigilance manifests as overthinking every single aspect of a situation and isolating himself from anyone who could hurt him (so, anyone at all).

The indoor training arena at Marlas was a long, wood-panelled room, eerily similar to the training arena at Arles, with packed sawdust floors and a thick wooden post at one end.

they just visited the place where damen hurt laurent the most by killing his brother. now we get to visit somewhere that reminds them of the place where laurent hurt damen the most, while “avenging” his brother.

It was good to push; hard. To feel exertion in every sinew, to gather every muscle to a single task. He needed the feeling of grounding and certainty amid these repellent tactics, these deceptions, these men who fought with words and shadows and treachery. He fought, until he was only his body, the burn of flesh, the pounding of blood, the hot slick of sweat, until everything concentrated into one simple focus, the power of heavy steel, that could bring death. In the moment when he paused—stopped—there was only silence and the sound of his own breath. He turned. Laurent was standing in the doorway, watching him.

so good. gorgeous prose here. yet another very subtle but realistic-feeling ptsd moment, with the way he’s channeling his emotions. and i love how he stops short of “killing” just as he’d done with laurent, and hadn’t done with auguste, to immediately realize laurent is watching him. that, combined with the setting and warmup in marlas, sets this up well as the scene where they Finally Deal With The Auguste Problem.

… in their own bizarre lamen-y way, of course.

He didn’t know how long Laurent had been there. He had been practising now for an hour or longer. Sweat sheened his skin, his muscles oiled with it. He didn’t care. He knew they had unfinished business. As far as he was concerned, it could stay unfinished. ‘If you’re this angry,’ said Laurent, ‘you should fight a real opponent.’ ‘There’s no one—’ Damen stopped, but the unspoken words hung, dangerous with the truth. There was no one good enough to fight him. Not in this mood. In this mood, angry and unable to hold back, he would kill them. ‘There’s me,’ said Laurent.

you know what, if this is what it takes for you two idiots to have an actual conversation, then fine. squash the beef, literally

as previously mentioned, at some point i want to do a “here’s what you missed on glee” recap of what i think laurent has been experiencing during the divorce era. but, preview, i think that this scene is coming after a personal offscreen turning point for laurent. he has decided that he’s ready to confront the fact that damen killed auguste, in the most fucked-up laurentian way possible, which is to challenge damen to a fight and try to put himself in his brother’s position. this, just like “let’s fuck,” is a kind of weaponized vulnerability. it’s not quite masochistic, but more a challenge to himself—“you’ve spent years loathing yourself, protecting yourself through performative cruelty, sacrificing your sweetness so you wouldn’t end up the victim. but even after all that, in a fight with the person who ruined your life and killed the brother you worshiped, you still aren’t the stronger man.”

i don’t think laurent knows what will happen after he loses this fight, but i also think that he's reached a point where anything would suck less than what he's been doing. and maybe it would be right, for him to finally lose to the stronger man—because laurent believes deep down that he has always been the weaker man, and always will be, no matter how hard he tries to change that. and what better way is there to prove that to himself, than fighting damen as hard as he can, while knowing that he can't possibly win? hell, maybe laurent would just rather die trying to win, than to admit defeat, and this is a way to kind of satisfy that dangerous urge. in a way, dying before a loss means you’re not actually losing. but i’m not sure laurent even thinks he deserves the mercy of death before defeat—especially not when auguste’s death was his defeat.

It was a bad idea. He felt the thrumming in his veins that told him it was a bad idea.

olivia rodrigo wrote a song about this exact situation

He watched Laurent draw a sword of his own from the wall. He remembered watching Laurent’s sword work in his duel against Govart, his own fingers itching to pick up a sword. He remembered other things too. The tug he had felt on his gold collar from the leash in Laurent’s hand. The fall of the lash on his back. The driving fist of a guard as he was thrown down onto his knees. He heard his own voice, thick and heavy. ‘You want me to put you on your back in the dirt?’

this homoerotic swordfight is a masterpiece. i want to pick it apart as lovingly and closely as i would a sex scene. because, like, from what i can remember… this is not not a sex scene. they just don’t actually fuck about it.

exhibit a: “you want me to put you on your back in the dirt?” they’re totally going to be speaking in innuendo this whole time.

‘You think you can?’

laurent, you know he can

Laurent had cast his sword-sheath to the side. It lay disregarded in the sawdust as he calmly stood with an open blade.

dramatic bitch. if he had a cloak he’d throw that too.

Damen hefted his own sword in his hand. He was not feeling careful. He had warned Laurent. That was advance notice enough.

this is a dance sequence, a fight sequence, and a sex sequence to me. horny angry tango. and this time, compared to other times they’ve fought/argued/fucked, damen is not holding back. this is indicated by the line “he was not feeling careful,” which contradicts with his feelings during the sex scene(s) in prince’s gambit, in which damen was extremely careful.

He attacked, a ringing three-stroke sequence that Laurent countered, circling so that his back was no longer to the door, but to the length of the training arena.

i’m trying so hard to clearly envision this in my mind. here, it sounds like we basically get an evasive twirl from laurent, which tracks. also not beating the dancing allegations

When Damen attacked again, Laurent used the space behind him, moving back.

it was a strategic twirl, too, putting him in a position where he had more space

And further back. Damen quickly grasped that he was progressing through the same set of experiences that had derailed Govart: expecting the fight to be more straightforward than it was, and finding that instead Laurent was difficult to pin down.

his almost immediate realization of this makes him a much more formidable opponent

Laurent’s blade teased, slipping away without follow-through. Laurent enticed, then stepped back.

NOT BEATING THE DANCING ALLEGATIONS. love the image of damen kinda just waving the sword around like a wand, just to tease at the idea of actually using it but obviously not intending to follow through, and then further distancing himself from his opponent. it’s a goading move, although i like the author’s word “entice” more because it’s sexier

It was irritating.

damen occasionally makes funny understatements like this, and they always make me smile

Laurent was a good swordsman, who was not exerting himself. Tap, tap, tap. They had by now travelled almost the full length of the training area, and were drawing alongside the post. Laurent’s breathing was undisturbed.

working the space, having fun, laurent isn’t even breaking a sweat

The next time Damen engaged, Laurent ducked and swung around the post, so that he had the length of the training area again at his back.

dancing around the thematically relevant post. nice one laurent. also if his strategy is just kinda leading damen from one side of the room to the other, then turning on his heel and repeating the process until damen reveals a weak spot, that is sooooooo legend of zelda boss fight coded of him

‘Are we just going to go up and down? I thought you’d push me at least a little,’ said Laurent.

another innuendo! and not just for flirting’s sake, or even for flirting sake’s at all—i think it’s almost entirely strategic, meant to fluster damen and expose his vulnerabilities. laurent is giving this everything he has, so it would make sense for him to play dirty.

Damen unleashed a strike, full strength and with brutal speed, giving Laurent no time to do anything but bring up his sword. He felt blade catch blade with a screech of metal, and watched the force of the impact travel through Laurent’s wrists and shoulders, watched it wrench the sword almost out of his hands, and throw him, satisfyingly, out of a balanced stance to stagger three paces back. ‘You mean like that?’ said Damen.

damen doesn’t really get it, but he’s giving laurent exactly what he’s asking for. a real fight, just like the one he gave auguste. or maybe he does get it, in some way.

Laurent recovered well, moving back another step. He was looking at Damen with narrowed eyes. There was something different in his posture, a new wariness.

laurent realizes that damen is not treating him carefully, as he’s done in the past. and that damen is formidable in more than just a physical sense—laurent doesn’t like the fact that damen might be thinking about why laurent is doing this, or what he wants to get out of it. he wants damen to attack him impersonally, simply, without playing dirty or guessing his strategies. because again, that’s how damen had fought auguste. but annoyingly, laurent knows that damen could never really deliver that experience, because he knows laurent so well.

‘I thought I’d let you go up and down a few times,’ said Damen, ‘before I take you.’

(the innuendo here has me SMIRKING!!! i like “uncareful” damen, honestly, and this is a great example of him giving laurent a taste of his own medicine.)

‘I thought you were down here because you couldn’t take me.’

i thiiiink this roughly translates to “i thought you came to this training room to exercise away your feelings about the fact that we’re not fucking right now,” which again, is laurent trying to hit a sore spot so he can take the opportunity to attack

This time when Damen attacked, Laurent put his whole body into weathering it, and as one blade raked shudderingly down the length of the other, he came up under Damen’s guard, so that Damen was forced into a startled defence and only with a flurry of steel flung him back.

ooh love this, laurent literally going down beneath their clashed swords to attack, only barely fought off by damen

‘You are good,’ said Damen, hearing the pleased sound of his own voice. Laurent’s breathing was showing a little exertion now, and that pleased Damen too.

god this is so hot when is it my turn (also, does this count as praise kink? because to me it counts as praise kink)

He pressed forward, not allowing Laurent time to disengage or recover.

yeah that would be the move, since laurent keeps disengaging and recovering. take away that option and he’ll have to resort to less familiar or effective tactics

Laurent was forced to bring all his strength to bear to block his attacks, the barrage jarring down Laurent’s wrist to his forearm and shoulder. Consistently now, Laurent was parrying two-handed.

paschal is going to be pissed about the damage to laurent’s shoulder. but it makes all the sense in the world, given laurent’s presumed mindset coming into this scene, that he would embrace the impact of blocking these attacks. the pain just means he’s really giving it his all.

Parrying, and countering in a deadly flash. He was agile and could turn on a hair, and Damen found himself drawn in, engrossed.

this is the hottest scene in the series so far. like yes babygirl i am engrossed by your competency. keep parrying and countering i love to see it

He did not attempt to force Laurent into mistakes—yet—that would come later. Laurent’s swordsmanship was fascinating, like a puzzle made up of filigree strands, complicated, delicately woven but without obvious openings.

SCREAMING WHAT DID I JUST SAYYYYY!!! the cockiness is AWESOME, the fact that damen so clearly knows he’s in control here, for the entire duration of the fight (“that would come later,”) but is basically just allowing laurent to try his hardest because it’s engrossing and admirable and damen wants to see more of it!!!!!

(when is it my turn to be fascinatingly and attractively skilled to a person who i find equally attractive, fascinating, and skilled. ANYWAY)

It almost seemed a shame to win the fight.

SDFUYDFGSYUFG this is my shit i am foaming at the mouth this is basically dirty talk to me

Damen disengaged, walking a circle around his opponent as he gave him space to recover. Laurent’s hair was starting very slightly to darken with sweat and his breath was quick. Laurent shifted his grip on his sword minutely, flexing his wrist.

hot. he’s giving laurent space to recover, space that he himself doesn’t need. he’s just kind of circling in the meantime, enjoying the sight of laurent in this state. this is not at all how damen would have fought auguste at marlas. and laurent’s definitely breaking a sweat now >:)

(yes this sucks from laurent’s perspective but at least damen gets to have some fun. and laurent is probably having a little fun, maybe, at least for the first part of the fight. damen’s cockiness is probably attractive, frustrating, and devastating in equal measure—this isn’t what laurent wanted from his brother’s killer damianos, but it’s also not not what laurent wants from his divorce husband damen.)

‘How’s your shoulder?’ Damen said. ‘My shoulder and I,’ said Laurent, ‘are waiting to be shown a real fight.’

god they’re perfect for each other. they really do match each other’s freak so well. i’m obsessed with them.

Laurent swept his blade up, ready for the attack. It satisfied Damen to force some real sword work from him.

implying that the stuff earlier wasn’t real 😭

Damen drove into those exquisite counters, forcing them into patterns that he half remembered.

i love how even as damen is cocky and realistic about the odds, he isn’t insulting or demeaning towards laurent. he is DELIGHTED and FASCINATED by the way laurent is engaging in this fight. it’s not about who’s stronger or weaker to damen—he just can’t stop being amazing by laurent being laurent.

(which is, of course, the opposite of where laurent’s mind currently is. he’s assuming that damen is judging him for not being good enough, he’s focused entirely on who’s stronger and who’s weaker, and every second he spends not winning is a reason to hate himself just a little more. wish i could say that wasn’t deeply relatable, but—)

Laurent was not Auguste. He was cast from a different mould physically, with a more dangerous calibre of mind. Yet there was a resemblance: the echo of a similar technique, a similar style; perhaps learned from the same master, perhaps the result of the younger brother emulating the older in the training yard.

damen knows that this is about auguste in some way to laurent. or maybe he’s just making that comparison as a matter of observation to help himself determine the right tactics. tbh i think it’s the second thing, i don’t think damen’s mind is in the “i wonder how laurent thinks and feels about this” state right now, as supported by the “he wasn’t careful” line

He could feel it between them as he could feel everything between them. The deceptive sword work that was too much like the traps that Laurent laid for everyone, the lies, the prevarications, the avoidance of a straightforward fight in favour of tactics that used those around him to achieve his ends; like a consignment of slaves; like a village of innocents.

well, yes and no! the consignment of slaves is an akielos and kastor thing. so is destroying the village of innocents, like laurent is patently against that and showed great empathy and straightforward care towards the victims. but like i said earlier, damen is still somewhere between denial and acceptance when it comes to his own hypocrisy re: akielos and his family. so this thought makes sense for him to have.

(it is also kind of ironic that laurent in this scene has been entirely straightforward, not deceptive at all. he wanted a real fight, simple as that. and because it’s a real fight, he’s using every possible trick and trap to win.)

He swept Laurent’s blade out of the way, slammed the hilt of his sword into Laurent’s stomach, then threw Laurent down, his body landing hard enough on the sawdust to knock the wind out of his lungs. ‘You can’t beat me in a real fight,’ said Damen.

i am so in sync with this scene right now i love it.

also, this scene being set in a room like the one where laurent had damen flogged is PERFECT. especially since in that instance, laurent had made someone else do his dirty work, hadn’t even physically overpowered or hurt damen himself. this is a real fight, one that laurent knew back then that he would lose. he could only “defeat” damen if he tied him up and had another person hit him. laurent knows that now, too, and asked for this fight anyway. because he’s an emotionally volatile 20 year old who was raised in a culture of violence and lives in a fantasy world where therapists don’t exist.

i’d call laurent a masochist for this kind of behavior, but i honestly think it would be more accurate to call him a sadist towards himself.

His sword pointed to the line of Laurent’s Adam’s apple. Laurent was sprawled on his back with spread legs and one knee raised. His fingers slid into the sawdust beneath him. His chest was rising and falling under the thin shirt. The tip of Damen’s sword travelled from his throat down to his delicate belly. ‘Yield,’ he said.

HOT.

(although i did immediately clock the sawdust thing in the first readthrough. very catra-coded strategy)

A burst of darkness and grit exploded in his vision; Damen squeezed his eyes shut reflexively and shifted his sword point back a critical half-inch as Laurent whirled his arm and flung a handful of sawdust into his face. When Damen’s eyes opened, Laurent had rolled, and come up holding his sword.

LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO

It was a juvenile boy’s trick that had no place in a man’s fight.

“man’s fight” isn’t a thing. either you’re trying to win or you’re not trying to win. no fight’s ever fair, someone’s always stronger.

Wiping the sawdust away with his forearm, Damen looked across at Laurent, who was breathing hard and wearing a new expression. ‘You fight with the tactics of a coward,’ said Damen. ‘I fight to win,’ said Laurent.

maybe if auguste had fought less honorably, laurent thinks, my brother would still be alive, and damianos would be dead.

‘Not well enough for that,’ said Damen.

… but maybe not.

(laurent wouldn’t think that part. that’s just me, pointing out that even if auguste had fought like laurent, he still would have lost. which is, i’m pretty sure, the main point of this scene.)

The look in Laurent’s eyes was the only warning before Laurent swung at him with killing force..

laurent is not happy to realize that auguste would have died no matter what tactics he used, because it makes auguste the weaker man. and even though laurent knows there’s no way he could come out of this stronger than damen, he’d rather go down fighting than accept defeat. which, if you really think about it, is what he’s been doing with his uncle for the past few years in arles—just in a less straightforward way.

Damen swerved sideways and abruptly back, brought his sword up and still found himself giving ground. There was a moment of pure concentration, edged silver all around him that he must focus on completely.

no more cockiness or amusement. he’s taking this a lot more seriously now, because i think he’s figuring out that this means something pretty serious to laurent, despite his innuendos and attitude earlier in the fight

Laurent was attacking with everything he had. There were no more elegant engagements, no more insouciant parries. Being thrown onto his back had broken some barrier in Laurent, and he was fighting with open emotion in his eyes.

this, too, is a sex parallel. and an intimacy/vulnerability parallel, in general.

also, the image of laurent here is just kinda heartbreaking. but it’s also very, very cathartic, and i think it’s good for laurent’s development that he experiences this fight in such an intense and visceral way.

And with exhilaration, Damen met the onslaught, took on Laurent’s best sword work, and began, step by step, to drive him back.

now it’s almost methodical, dutiful. like defusing a bomb

And this—it was nothing like Auguste, who had called to his men to stand back.

i’ve already said what i would say again here (re: laurent fighting dirty as a test of auguste’s chances if he’d done the same), so i’ll just say “FUCK YEAH LAURENT” instead. he is hell-bent on winning this impossible fight and that shit is real

Laurent’s sword cut through a holding rope and Damen had to push away before the shelf of mounted armoury it supported came crashing down on his head. Laurent shoved at a bench with his leg and sent it careening into Damen’s path. The armour that had spilled from the wall onto the sawdust became an obstacle course to force uneven footwork.

YESSSSS use the environment to your advantage!

(i should probably mention that fight scenes are some of my very favorite things to write. especially when they include parallel emotional arcs, banter, and improvised weapons/obstacles. and gay people. so.)

Laurent was throwing everything at him, drawing every part of their surroundings desperately into the fight. And he was still unable to hold ground.

doesn’t matter, he’s still fighting. sorry this isn’t really analysis anymore it’s just me relating to/projecting onto laurent. i’m cheering that bitch on to the very end

At the post, Laurent ducked instead of parrying, and Damen’s sword swung hard through thin air and then thunked into the wooden beam, lodging there so deeply that he had to let go the hilt and duck a swing of his own before he could pull it out.

the post again! kind of embarrassing for laurent, that yet again it’s the post that keeps him safe from damen’s retaliation, instead of anything he himself is able to do

In those seconds, Laurent bent, snatched up a knife that had scattered from one of the overturned benches and threw it, with deadly accuracy, at Damen’s throat. Damen knocked it out of the air with his sword and kept advancing.

god this scene is so fucking good. the pacing is perfect. i can see it so clearly. the rising desperation is conveyed so well, especially from damen’s pov where he’s just describing laurent’s actions and reactions

He attacked and steel met steel, sliding all the way up to the tang. Laurent’s shoulder shuddered, and Damen pressed harder, forcing Laurent’s sword from his hand.

and it’s the shoulder injury that finally does laurent in. the direct result of his own weakness against another stronger man.

He slammed Laurent into the panelled wall. Laurent made a sound of raw, guttural frustration as his teeth clicked together and the breath was knocked out of him. Damen pressed in, jammed his forearm to Laurent’s neck and cast his own sword aside as Laurent’s outflung hand dragged a knife from its hanging display on the wall and brought it driving towards Damen’s unprotected side.

i think laurent is fighting to kill at this point, like not really in his right mind. side note, why is this more intimate and cathartic to me than the sex scene. you don’t have to answer that.

‘No you don’t,’ said Damen, and with his free hand caught Laurent’s wrist and knocked it hard against the wall, once, twice, until Laurent’s fingers opened and he dropped the knife.

SUCH a good choice of dialogue. chastising, but not punishing. unthreatened, but not condescending. a perfect summation of how damen approaches these kinds of clashes with laurent, in a way that laurent cannot fully see or understand. damen doesn’t need to be the stronger man here, and he isn’t judging or demeaning laurent for his weakness. he is as earnest in combat as he is in bed—and with laurent, he wants them both to feel like winners. submission to damen, in his case, is honorable—laurent can lose and yield, and damen will not think any less of him. but to laurent, yielding to this defeat is basically the most mortifying thing he could possibly do, because he doesn’t believe that someone like damen could be real.

… or maybe, laurent is just unwilling to allow someone like damen—someone truly honorable and supportive, whose strength inspires laurent rather than threatens him—to matter to him in a way that’s real. because the last person like that in laurent’s life got killed in a “fair” fight, by the same person who laurent is fighting now. who, by laurent’s admission, shares those qualities with auguste. and as a result of auguste’s death, the loss of a person who mattered deeply to laurent, who laurent trusted to protect him… well, it makes sense that current-day laurent would be so afraid of letting someone ever matter to him, or protect him again. laurent only wants to need himself to survive, but that means putting a lot of pressure on himself to always be the stronger man. which he just isn't, sometimes. most of the time, really, unless he gets pretty creative about his approach.

no wonder it's the game laurent likes. games are among the few things he's confident he can win.

Laurent’s whole body thrashed against him then, trying to wrench from his hold, a moment of violent animal struggle that pushed their hot, sweat-dampened bodies together.

… but this isn’t a game—it’s a real fight, just as promised. and laurent lost.

Damen rode it out—shoved them both in against the wall—tightly enough to prohibit movement, but Laurent punched him in the throat with his free arm, hard enough that he choked and shifted, and then, with all the hard violence in him, Laurent drove his knee in.

okay, he hasn’t lost yet. carry on. i like how one of laurent’s last-ditch efforts here is kneeing his attacker in the groin, given his history with people making him feel weak and defeated through sexual assault/harassment.

Blackness exploded across his vision, but fighter’s instinct pushed through it. He dragged Laurent away from the wall and flung him to the ground, where Laurent hit, body impacting hard on the sawdust. It knocked the wind out of Laurent for a moment, but he was already pushing himself dazedly up, his eyes venomous on Damen’s. Laurent was going for the knife again, his fingers closing around it, too late.

it’s great that we got the laurent pov interrogation scene before this. in that scene he didn’t break, he was pretty much in emotional control of himself the entire time. but in this scene, he is sloppy and desperate and unable to hide that from damen, who doesn’t even want to hurt him. this is way harder for laurent to approach with detachment and pragmatism, and at this point he’s pretty much just broken and doing whatever he can to not lose

‘That’s enough,’ said Damen, driving his knee hard into Laurent’s stomach, then throwing him onto his back and following him down. He had Laurent’s wrist in his grip, and he slammed it back against the sawdust, so that Laurent released the knife. His body was an arc over Laurent’s, pinning Laurent with his weight, with his hands on Laurent’s wrists, Laurent taut beneath him. He could feel the hot rise and fall of Laurent’s chest. He tightened his grip.

it’s very precise here, how damen intentionally overpowers and restrains laurent, but does it in a way that tries to minimize the pain laurent experiences. again, it’s like he’s defusing a bomb, not defeating an opponent. he still, ultimately, cares the most about physically treating laurent well. it’s become pretty obvious that laurent isn’t just trying to harm damen here, and damen doesn’t want to see laurent harm himself either. it’s not a fun game anymore. damen doesn’t want to enable it. “that’s enough.”

the fact that these two need a safe word just to spar… tbh they’d probably benefit from a safe word for just like. existing near each other

Finding himself with no way out from under Damen’s body, Laurent made a last, desperate sound, and only then finally went still, panting, his eyes furious with bitterness and frustration. They were both panting. Damen could feel the resistance in Laurent’s body. ‘Say it,’ said Damen. ‘I yield.’ It was gritted out. Laurent’s head turned away to one side.

it’s almost like laurent is offering damen his jugular. like “you win, you might as well finish the job, because i don’t want to be alive to deal with the implications of this”

‘I want you to know,’ he said, the words thick and heavy as they pushed out of him, ‘that I could have done this any time when I was a slave.’

this line is hot and idk, self righteous, but damen you could not have chosen a WORSE time or place for a comment like this. you just made laurent confront that he’s weak, and now you’re telling him that he’s always been weak, and he’s only been spared because you’ve chosen not to use your power over him. you’re saying this to the dude whose brother you killed. damen.

Laurent said, ‘Get off me.’ He thrust himself away. Laurent was the first to lever himself off the floor. He stood with his hand on the post for support. Flecks of sawdust were clinging to his back. ‘You want me to say it? That I could never have beaten you?’ Laurent’s voice twisted up. ‘I could never have beaten you.’

laurent is projecting, making this about what damen wants, when it was very clearly laurent who wanted this fight to happen

‘No, you couldn’t have. You’re not good enough. You would have come for revenge, and I would have killed you. That’s how it would have been between us. Is that what you would have wanted?’

peak damen “are you done bitching” moment. but also honest and raw, and what laurent ultimately needs to hear. it’s almost a challenge: “would you prefer that relationship between us—strong killer and weak victim—to the one we have now? because if not, maybe it’s time to get your shit together and actually talk to me. because this could be good, if we just put down our weapons.”

‘Yes,’ said Laurent. ‘He was everything I had.’ The words hung between them. ‘I know,’ said Laurent, ‘that I was never good enough.’ Damen said, ‘Neither was your brother.’ ‘You’re wrong. He was—’ ‘What?’ ‘Better than I am. He would have—’ Laurent cut himself off. He pressed his eyes closed, with a breath of something like laughter. ‘Stopped you.’ He said it as though he could hear the ludicrousness of it.

a breakthrough. laurent forced to confront the fallacy of his own self-loathing. this is really well-written cooldown and culmination of things i have previously analyzed.

Damen picked up the discarded knife, and when Laurent’s eyes opened, he put it in Laurent’s hand. Braced it. Drew it to his own abdomen, so that they stood in a familiar posture. Laurent’s back was to the post. ‘Stop me,’ said Damen. He could see it in Laurent’s expression, as he fought an internal battle with his desire to use the knife.

love this echo of previous moments. this really is a question of “are we putting down our weapons or not”

He said, ‘I know what that feels like.’ ‘You’re unarmed,’ said Laurent. So are you.

LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOO

pacat chooses very few moments to be this on the nose about something, and as a result they really really hit He didn’t say it. It didn’t make any sense. He felt the moment changing. His grip on Laurent’s wrist was changing. The knife thudded to the sawdust. He forced himself to step back before it happened. He was staring at Laurent from two paces away, his breathing roughened, and not from exertion. Around them, the training arena was strewn with the disorder of their fight: benches overturned, armour pieces scattered across the floor, a banner half torn from the wall. Damen said, ‘I wish—’ But he couldn’t speak the past away, and Laurent wouldn’t thank him if he did. He took up his sword and left the hall.

this was a hard scene for damen too. they really are just in this mushy, messy place, which is better than complete contempt and avoidance, but still difficult to navigate. but it does feel like a step, for their individual development as their development as a partnership.

[ryin-silverfish]

The Nezha 2025 Analysis Post

…Which is less of an analysis of the movie itself and more about related stuff outside the movie. What could I say, giant tangents and infodumps are kinda my thing.

I'll admit, I have complicated feelings about Nezha 2.

Not the movie itself, which I love as its own thing——a lot of people do. And having read folk storytelling and opera stuff with more vulgar humor, I really don't mind the same toilet humor that is also in the 2019 movie.

It's the fandom's possible response that gives me the looming sense of anxiety.

The less said about the Age Discourse, the better, but honestly, the proliferation of the "Demon Child" thing outside of its tailor-made context has just tired me out.

Like, when I'm reading Nezha fanfictions in Chinese, folks usually acknowledge that their works are 2019/2025 specific, and there are fandoms for different Nezhas in modern adaptations, vernacular novels, and broader mythology. And when they bring in FSYY stuff, they also tell you in the Author's Notes.

As is true for all fanfiction everywhere, there are still ones who don't follow that convention, overwhelming focus on Nezha 1979/2019/2025, and takes I personally find bewildering. But generally, it's easier to look for works that suit my taste and fanfics of FSYY novel alone.

…That's very much not the case for English fanfics of Chinese Mythos-inspired media. Of all things, it's the fandom of JTTW adjacent medias that latched onto the 2019/2025 "Demon Child" story, with a heavy dose of Nezha 1979, and pretty much treats it like mythological canon that's true for all Nezhas everywhere.

[Spoilers Under the Cut]

With that in mind, it's perhaps not so strange that my first thought, after the excitement and hype has calmed down, is "Please don't let Villainous Chan Sect be the new 'Demon Child' of the fandom."

So far, my fears haven't come true, because most people don't seem to recognize the Chan Sect as a faction distinct from generic "celestials" of the Heavenly Realm. Kinda sad in its own way, but still better than, well, the alternatives.

(Obviously, this is also not a "You Shouldn't Write Demon Child Nezha At All In Non-2019/2025 Fanworks" post. Like, who the fuck am I to dictate what you can and can't write.)

(I simply like Novel! Nezha because I feel like it offers some interesting avenues of character explorations and scratches my particular itches, and wish folks would take more inspiration from that version. Your milage may differ and that's okay.)

The Chan Sect

To start off on a happy nerdy note: I love the movie's Chan 12 designs! They've done a good job of making each immortal looks unique and distinct, while also paying homage to the iconography of Buddhist deities Wenshu, Puxian, and Cihang are based on.

There's also the strong undertone that they aren't a monolith with the same stance on things, despite the briefness of their cameo: some of them are more obviously prejudiced, others are more cautious and reasonable, and a couple are playing the peacemaker.

However, the Jade Emptiness Palace as a whole…is where the complicated feelings come in.

Those who've read my other media analysis posts probably know that I'm not a big fan of JTTW Conspiracy Theories. Well, "Chan Sect Bad" are the JCT of the popular FSYY fandom.

I have such a personal dislike for JTTW Conspiracy Theory because 1) I dislike people projecting modern beliefs and anxieties onto a past author and claiming that's actually the authorial intention, period, and 2) the original novel has themes and messages and techniques I find valuable and still worth thinking about in the modern era, one that JCT doesn't engage with beyond the surface level and often ends up obscuring.

2) is also precisely why I'm not as concerned about FSYY adaptations making Chan Sect less righteous and more morally grey, because frankly, the original novel has some serious storytelling flaws.

It's an interesting setting and a project of pantheon-building, one that does go on to greatly influence folk religion.

But the main themes…well, "Fate Says So" and Neo-Confucian morality tracts, as they are presented in the novel, are not very engaging nor fitting for the modern world.

And because of a combination of values dissonance and Skill Issue on the author-compiler's part, Novel Chan Sect really isn't all that heroic to a modern audience.

Like, the author doesn't think they are flawless, but he certainly thinks of them as completely in the right…even though, to a modern reader, their disdain towards the Jie Sect's indiscriminate admission and their yaoguai disciples come off as pretty elitist and prejudiced, and some of the Chan 12 are overprotective of their disciples to the point of unfairness.

My problem isn't "Chan Sect can be morally ambiguous and kinda fucked up". It's "Chan Sect Bad", because more often than not, it depends on making Jie Sect into innocent victims of Yuanshi Tianzun's conspiracy to wipe out his biggest rival (and anti-yaoguai racism).

FYK: I'm a Jie liker because they have some of the most memorable characters in the whole book. Doesn't stop me from groaning whenever they decide to build another formation, though.

And it's precisely because I like them that I believe they deserve the same level of complexities, moral ambiguity, and fuck-ups.

Even if you ignore the horrible plague magic guy (Lv Yue) and the cannibal (Ma Yuan), Jie immortals are pretty distant from humanity, most don't really care about the shit King Zhou's up to as long as they are helping out their sectmates.

They also have no problem unleashing AOE spells and treasures of mass destruction on enemy combatants and civilians alike (Lv Yue again, Luo Xuan, the Han brothers' windmills and Huoling's Fire Dragon Soldiers, Winged Immortal's failed attempt at dumping an entire ocean on Xi Qi…).

And they are also massive, compared to their rivals. The sheer size and varieties of the sect (not to mention they live on a bunch of oceanic islands) also mean their biggest problem isn't so much indiscriminate admission as inadequete regulations: as Guangcheng Zi's visit to Biyou Palace has shown, even Patriarch Tongtian, their one charismatic leader, has problems reigning in his disciples when they are really set on doing something.

Which is a neat segway back into discussing the movie: the Chan Sect isn't evil per se, Wuliang is, but I feel like the theme of prejudice and fighting against institutionalized oppression can perhaps be made stronger than it already is, with more attention to the possible nuances of the Chan-Jie conflict.

Movie Chan Sect and the Differences

Now, to be fair, there are quite a few allusions to the upcoming War of Investiture.

The Chan 12 had a meeting to discuss the exact thing, and Wuliang used "strengthening the sect and turning the odds in our favor" as a justification for his terrible deeds——capture random yaoguais who are just minding their own business and make them into pills to power up Chan disciples.

(Fun Fact: Wuliang's design is heavily inspired by the Old Man of the South Pole, who's the senior brother of both JZY and Shen Gongbao in the novel and Yuanshi Tianzun's disciple.)

Still, when I see the Jade Emptiness Palace disciple ensemble, my first thought is "Darn, if there's a 3rd movie about the War of Investiture proper, how many Jie NPCs are gonna be squeezed onto the screen?"

I'm writing this down in jest, but the Jade Emptiness Palace as a sizeable sect with its own army, instead of a tiny group of 40+ named characters, changes the whole dynamic.

Like, you can argue that the named Chan characters in the novel aren't the whole faction, and there are more offscreen disciples.

However, when Sage Randeng saw the Ten Thousand Immortal Formation for the first time in Chapter 82, his reaction is "Darn, they have so many people, while ours can be counted on one hand."

They very much recognize their own disadvantage in numbers, and personally, I'd prefer the Chan Sect's most questionable deeds to be a direct consequence of their small size and extremely selective admission.

Say, if the Chan Sect only has several dozen members in total, them playing dirty, being merciless towards their foes, and trying to give themselves advantages at all costs seems a lot more natural as a result——they are hamstrung by their own elitism, yet instead of being less elitist, they choose to double down on their deep-seated beliefs.

In the movie, where the Chan Sect is a sizeable army and dominant faction, Wuliang's conspiracies come across less as an elitist minority fucking themselves over and deciding to go after the symptoms instead of the core causes, and more like a corrupt, powerful mainstream authority making their dominance even more absolute.

Which is fine for an animated movie made for an all-age audience: a narrative with clearer good and bad guys probably appeals more to the younger kids watching. I still can't help but wonder about the possibilities and potential of a greyer narrative, though.

Like, I kinda wish that, during the trials, they are going after a mixture of your typical man-eating ne'er-do-well yaoguais AS WELL AS the ones who are just minding their own business, and the pill-making being much less of a secret thing——shouldn't they receive their just dessert and punishment for harming so many humans? It's not like we go after yaoguais just for being yaoguais, some of our best disciples are cultivated beasts, we only capture the Bad Ones.

Sadly, our rivals don't give a crap about what their disciples do outside of Biyou Palace after they finished their studies, whether they'll use their new cultivation for good or harm.

Well, if they won't hold their own accountable, someone has to do it for them, and they have the gall to call US unfair for treating them like the selfish, cruel villains they are! Like they aren't using their numbers advantage to strongarm US!

The most convincing lies are the ones mixed with truths, and the liars themselves believe wholeheartedly.

The Giant Tangent

…Fun fact: back when I still binge-read WeChat articles, I've learned the fun trivia that some Chinese parents of ADHD kids refer to their kids affectionately as "Wukongs" and "Nezhas".

No idea how popular that is, or whether it's still true after a few years, but also: a bunch of ADHD/ASD support group accounts I followed brought up Nezha 2019 as either very relatable for special eds kids, or a metaphor for their experience.

As an adult AutiHDer who volunteers for special eds extracurricular classes during my breaks, I completely get it.

Seriously, for kids who get diagnosed while they were kids but aren't "disabled enough" for special eds schools, the Chinese schooling system SUCKS.

Like, you can literally be kicked out of kindergartens or primary schools because your symptoms are too disruptive and other parents/teachers are worried about you being a "bad influence" dragging the rest of your classmates down.

2019! Nezha's whole "If I can do nothing right, why should I even try to be anything other than the menace they see me as?" attitude is painfully real for a lot of ADHD & ASD kids IRL, and the first half of Nezha 2025 certainly gives me similar feelings.

(Aside from the literal pills scene. Totally not the authorial intention, but damn, isn't that my exact experience with wrong medication dosage /j)

For the kids that do manage to stay in the regular schooling system, there is still the strong attitude of "You will only be accepted if you match up to our standards (pass the tests, get good grades, prove that you can sit down and study like everyone else)".

Which is Nezha's experience in the Jade Emptiness Palace too. And indeed, you see Nezha trying to match up to their standards too ("I will become an immortal!").

However, the second half of the movie (the dividing point being the conclusion of the 2nd Trial)…kinda deviates from this potential metaphor into something more fantastical, which is okay; they are trying to do more than one thing.

(There's also the fact that Movie Chan Sect is subtly designed to be an US expy——just look at their sect logo on the jade tablet.)

(And honestly, I don't have too much of an opinion on that. Like, the anti-US sentiment is just the background constant of modern Chinese pop culture, and I only get annoyed when it isn't attached to a good story and too in-your-face in terms of execution, to the point where you can't read it as anything else.)

(I do think that Chan Sect, as it's written in the novel, is an odd fit for that particular metaphor, though.)

However, it does mean I personally enjoy the first half of 2025 more than the second half, while liking the movie as a whole.

To connect it back to my Chan-Jie analysis, an alternate narrative could perhaps emphasize the "Good/Bad Yaoguais and Demons" divide a bit more.

Like…even when a special eds kid is lucky enough to be part of the normal education system and recognized for their achievements, their difficulties are rarely acknowledged, not to mention the idea that maybe the system itself is failing the kids.

Instead, they are made into inspirations. They've worked hard to "conquer" their inborn defects, become normal and even exceptional through hard work, and if you try hard enough, you can be like them too!

(The assumption is, if you can't be like them, you must not be trying hard enough.)

At the same time, asking for accommodations and acceptance are treated as excuses for laziness + demands of special treatment.

The courseload and stress are hard on literally everyone else too, how come you get to be treated any differently? If society won't be lenient on you once you graduated, neither should the teachers, and being harsh on you right now is just preparing you for the Real World.

(tbh, Shen Gongbao's dad reminds me the most of that attitude.)

A more nuanced, but still fucked-up Chan Sect could similarly view their deeds as a matter of Equal Enforcement of Consequences. We don't just make yaoguais into pills either, the Bad Human Immortals also get the same treatment.

You aren't pressured to hide your "demonic" presence and conceal your true form because you are a demon, we just have strict regulation on all of our disciples' conducts and high expectations.

Of course, in practice, enough folks don't practice what they preach while still believing they are only going after the Bad Ones, it's just that there are a lot more Bad Ones among yaoguai-kind.

But even if they do act perfectly just by their own standards, who died and made them the boss? How are they qualified to be the arbitator of Good and Bad?

On the flip side…if the Jie stereotype is formations "You killed my sectmate, prepare to die", the Chan stereotype is 护短——being overprotective and enabling of their disciples in most cases that don't involve outright, explicit betrayal with no possibility of reconcilation.

So even though, in general, their acceptance and camaraderie is conditional, their high standards are mixed with equally high praises and lavishing of attention and goodies upon the "inspirational" juniors who meet their expectations.

If you are good enough to pass the trials (get good grades, aren't overly disruptive and aggressive), we literally can't care less about anything else.

(Unfortunately true based on my volunteer experience, where some parents just, straight-up deny that their kids have ASD even with a diagnosis at very young age, incredible distress as a result of their disabilities, and next to no independent living skills outside of a classroom setting, because they can quietly sit in class and get good grades.)

And that element of what seems like genuine acceptance and "tough love" and "everyone has to earn their place" can really make it more of a struggle to openly reject the whole system, to tell them, to their faces, that their very standards are broken and you will not let them define your worth.

Like, they aren't friendly, but overall still more accepting than the village kids back in the 1st movie, and between the doubting rumors, there are also folks going "Maybe he's like that winged student of Yunzhong Zi?" or "Gosh, I hope he's less annoying than that Tianhua kid".

Just, you get the feeling that they are kinda stuck-up, but also see Nezha as far less of an outlier and someone on his way to prove his worth, and the dangling of potential new peers and communities out of sight makes him eager to become an immortal for reasons other than the desire to save Chentang Pass.

(Or, on a less sympathetic note: it means an "exceptional" junior is free to be an ass to others and has their misbehaviors swept under the rug by their masters, as long as they don't step over the serious red lines.)

IDK, but I feel like the mirroring of prejudices in an institutional setting could be made a lot stronger if Wuliang isn't the sole Evil Villain Guy Orchestrating Conspiracies and the disciples of Jade Emptiness Palace are just obedient drones, but a matter of sect-wide attitude and strong beliefs forged by their Small Sect Who Only Accepts the Best of the Best nature.

Appendix

By the time I finished this, I've seen a bunch of Chinese speculations for Nezha 3 that are all "Ohhhhh they are totally gonna wreck the Jade Emptiness Palace!", mixed with your typical Edgy Conspiracy takes, which…makes me feel like I haven't been salty enough about the "Chan Sect Bad" thing.

Maybe, on some corner of the internet, that would get me called a Chan apologist or something. (shrug)

Nah, mate. I just think that exploring FSYY as an actual war and its ramifications for everyone involved is an interesting direction that very few modern FSYY adaptations have actually taken, and also, "Chan Sect Bad" really is just JCT-lite: same underlying logic, annoys me less.

Like, if every adaptation is a conversation between the adaptation and its parental work, JCT is the equivalent of stuffing a sock into the parental work's mouth before it can speak, then starting to wax poetics about how you totally understand its Deep Scathing Satire TM.

FSYY Conspiracy Theory is also stuffing a sock into the parental work's mouth, but after the parental work regurgitated another thinly disguised Neo-Confucian morality tract at you and showed no sign of getting back to the Cool Parts.

A bit more understandable, but I still think carefully listening to + thinking about what the parental work has said is necessary for a good conversation, even if you disagree with everything that comes out of its mouth and your reply is a ruthless takedown.

And if you want to make "Chan Sect Bad" central to your work, I'd prefer that they are at least uniquely bad——as in, you can't just replace the Celestial Realm in a setting that runs on JCT with Villainous Chan Sect, and have the story play out largely in the same way.

Like, make it so that they are not just another Feudal Propriety/Oppressive Government metaphor, but ruthless divine combatants in a war of dynastic transistion who are working with the rebels.

(Yes, the Chan/Zhou side are, in fact, the rebels in the context of WOI. You can argue that Jade Emptiness Palace has more institutional prestige and legitimacy on the Shenmo side of things, but they are still supporting the rebellious Zhou against the Shang, a decision which the narrative felt the need to justify with many long, boring speeches.)

(Which honestly makes the idea of Chan Hegemony quite hilarious when their novel version fit the "ragtag group of rebels where almost all the top fighters were beneath the legal drinking age" image to a T.)

[bucketsofmonsters]

The Shapeshifting Detective - Part 8

cw: parental death, grief, referenced murder, police brutality, slow burn, more tags will be added as the story continues

male shapeshifter x fem character

word count: 3k

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 (Final Part)

Kate had no idea how long she’d been in here or if the others had been taken into custody. She’d been waiting for hours, locked away in a room with no windows, no clock, no way of telling the time at all. 

Her wrists were sore. Her brain kept circling back to it over and over again. They were unbearably sore, both of them shackled to the table to prevent her from running off. They were irritating at first but after a while, she came to appreciate them, their unyielding weight helping to keep her present. 

She didn’t know what was happening or how long it had been or what would come of her but she knew her wrists were sore. 

Eventually, even they were not enough. She’d been able to stomach a lot in the last days, but sitting still and alone was not one of them. 

She had nothing to throw herself at, no justice to find. She was just here. Alone, in a room, waiting for the dust to settle. Waiting to see how she would come out of this. If she would come out of this. 

The creak of the door pulled her back to herself and her head jerked up to find whoever had come to break the infernal silence. 

When he entered the room she felt like she could breathe again. Her detective walked up to the table she was chained to and suddenly everything was going to be alright. 

“Harvey,” she said, a swell of relief filling her chest. 

When their eyes met she realized her mistake. “A bit familiar, don’t you think miss? Wonder where you picked up that habit?”

It wasn’t her detective at all. 

His dishevelment told a different story than the one she was used to. Gone was the man who just didn’t quite fit his clothes despite having shaped himself to belong in them, always sitting slightly askew with his wild hair and off-center tie. 

No, this man looked like he’d walked through hell, eyes bloodshot and his stubble growing unruly. 

She had no idea how much he knew about the situation, how much he’d been told about his mysterious doppelganger. The vitriol present on his face said he probably knew more than was good for her. 

He leaned over the table, looming over her, and Kate did her best to pull away with her hands chained, tethering her down. 

“I don’t know you,” she spat out, incapable of feigning demure answers despite knowing it was undeniably in her best interest. 

“Really? That’s odd, some people at the station say we’ve gotten quite close. Congratulated me on latching onto the killer so fast. Wasn’t that clever of me? How did I find you out so quickly, I wonder?”

“I didn’t kill anyone.”

“Then why did you confess to it.”

Of course he believed her mother. She certainly hadn’t done much to earn any trust with him. It stung anyway. “I didn’t. She’s lying.”

“Now now. Your mother is an upstanding woman, I don’t think she would lie to me. And you…” He grabbed her chin and tilted her head to the side, as if to inspect her. She reeled back, pulling herself from his grip, a movement he seemed to find amusing. “Well, I suppose what I think about you depends on how well we know each other. What do you say, Katherine, do we know each other or not?”

He spat her name at her like it was poison. It might as well have been. 

“You’ve questioned me a few times, that’s all.”

“Oh, just a few. I only remember us speaking once but perhaps I’m misremembering. Maybe I wrote it down somewhere. I did find some very interesting notes about you in my office. They were very complimentary, seemed like we’d spoken quite a lot. Can you remind me if that’s true?”

“It was a couple times. That’s all.”

“Consistent. Smart, you shouldn’t be changing your story.”

“You can’t do this,” she insisted. She knew he could, though. That was the problem, wasn’t it? He could do whatever he liked. Who would stop him?

“I promise you I can. You know what I find odd? The way you looked at me when I walked in here. You didn’t look at me like the prime suspect in a murder case who’d only spoken to me a few times. Who were those big, hopeful eyes for? Because I know one thing for damn sure, they weren’t meant for me.”

“You’re insane,” she hissed at him.

His hand snapped up faster than she could track and then her head was being slammed forward into the table in front of her, the world spinning as she pulled back. 

“I’m going to get the truth out of you one way or another,” he snarled. 

“I didn’t do anything,” she sobbed out.

“Maybe you didn’t. At this point, I don’t really give a shit. What was that thing? Are you one of them?”

“I don’t know anything,” she said through gritted teeth. There was no getting out of this, she could see that now. 

“Yes, you do. You’re on its side, the only thing I don’t know is if you’re a piece of shit turncoat human or one of those monsters.”

The door opened and a man you didn’t recognize walked in. Harvey snapped to look at him, snarling out an impatient, “What do you want?”

The newcomer was some other police officer, his hat not quite facing forwards properly and his jacket buttoned up just one button off. 

“Someone wants to see you,” the newcomer said.

“I’m a little fucking busy, actually.”

“I’m sure you are,” he said, and faster than either of them could react, he slammed Harvey forward, throwing everything he had into banging his head into the table. 

It knocked him out cold, his body sliding unceremoniously to the floor as Vincent rushed over to her side, a frantic look in his eyes. 

“Evelyn is in the other room,” he said, speaking as fast as he could get the words out. “They started poking around and we couldn’t make them leave. They were gonna find them either way.” He gestured down at the unconscious man below him. “I just untied them and told them no one would believe them, seemed like the best option at the time.”

She tried to move forward, into his space, the shackles stopping her unbecoming display of desperate affection before it could even really begin. 

He seemed unaffected by Kate coming to her senses about the action, wrapping an arm around her and holding her tight to his side. “Let’s get you out of here,” he muttered, and she could feel his chest moving as he spoke. “I don’t want to- Oh my god, are you bleeding?”

He reached for her instantly, his hand cradling her cheek as the other rose to wipe at a drop of blood she hadn’t even noticed, the viscous liquid spreading across her skin. 

He immediately reached for his pockets, muttering angrily under his breath. 

Upon finding nothing he began rooting around in Harvey’s pockets, pulling out both a handkerchief and a key ring victoriously. 

“I’m going to get you out of here,” he promised, pressing the handkerchief gently to her wound, cleaning it as best he could before beginning to try the first of many keys. “Just hold on a minute.”

“What are we going to tell them?” she asked as he tried key after key, looking warily out towards the rest of the station. 

“You’ll see. I just have to wait for…”

Before he could finish his sentence, all hell broke loose, the sounds of yelling and rushing about filtering through the door. 

“What is that?”

“Our cue.” He said, trying keys as quickly as he could, a slight shake to his hands as he did. Finally, one clicked into place and the cuffs snapped open. 

Kate stood, rubbing her wrists and Vincent gave her a nervous look. “You may want to turn around.”

The words echoed in her ears and before she could really register them, he was changing. The horrible snapping of his bones accompanied itself with the creation of new angles where they shouldn’t be. 

The cracking and shifting noises were drowned out by the noises of chaos that were slowly filling the building, but it did nothing to stop them from reaching her ears. 

She wondered why he had to shift like this. Surely there were more efficient ways to travel from one body to another. Human bodies weren’t that different, seemingly creating a new set of bones and tissues for every one seemed horribly inefficient. 

She thought, perhaps belatedly, that she should be scared. Or at the very least, horrified. And yet she couldn’t quite bring herself to be. 

It hadn’t even really occurred to her, to be honest. Perhaps some of it was due to her current, exhausted, sluggish state. She just hadn’t thought of it, hadn’t considered being afraid. 

Why would she be, asked a little voice in the back of her head. It was just Vincent. 

Instead, bubbling up, slower than they should have, were other feelings. Relief, gratitude, but nothing resembling the revulsion she was sure should be present. 

As he transformed, she was lost in thought completely, busier mulling over the situation than actually watching the seemingly possible transformation. 

He winced at her as soon as he had enough of a face to wince with. “Sorry, you shouldn’t have had to see that.”

Vincent looked more scared than she did, staring at her as if at any moment she might scream and run, never to be seen again. 

She gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile. It didn’t feel like one, like anything close to being either reassuring or a smile, but he seemed to understand the meaning, giving her a quiet, sweet smile back. 

And then he held out his hand, as if to escort her out of the room. She took it and he led her into the chaos. 

Evelyn seemed to be at the epicenter of it all, shouting and throwing things around the station. No one really seemed to know what to do with themselves, trying to calm her while simultaneously acting like if they got too close they might spontaneously combust. 

As she watched the chaos unfold, the comfortable weight at her side disappeared and suddenly she felt very exposed. 

She glanced around nervously and saw Daniel sitting in the corner, a distant look in his eyes. He seemed like he’d be less of a problem than Harvey had been. 

Evelyn drifted over to her and pulled Kate towards her. She went with little protest, leaning into the woman as she was guided to her side. She was the only other person left who didn’t want her locked up, now that Vincent had made himself scarce. There were worse people’s arms to be clinging to. 

As Evelyn argued and Kate stood, unlistening, at her side, she saw Vincent dart back into the interrogation room and she did her best to avoid looking at the door again, keeping as much attention away from there as much as possible. 

She heard the door creak once more but kept her eyes adamantly forward, tensing up even more at the noise. She imagined no one could tell, it was hard to look more tense than she’d already been. 

She heard Evelyn slam her hand down on the table beside her, hard, and guessed someone’s attention had drifted a little too far. 

Kate should be paying more attention, should be helping more with this plan she wasn’t privy to. She just couldn’t draw herself back into the present. It had been too much, she was too tired. 

And then, storming through the doors of the police station with a bang, was her mother. 

Now she was aware of everything, pulling away from her and further back toward Evelyn. 

An arm snaked around her waist and she was grateful for it, grateful for the reminder that at least someone here was on her side, even if it was more for Vincent’s sake than for hers. 

“Why is she free?” her mother asked, looking around frantically, looking more confused than angry, despite the way she’d entered. 

The policemen around her seemed just as confused as to why Kate was standing amongst them, looking around for someone with an explanation and finding no one. You hoped Vincent would be back soon. You had a feeling you’d be thrown right back into the interrogation room if he wasn’t. 

“She killed him,” Kate insisted quietly, sounding unconvincing even to herself. 

Her mother took a step forward and she couldn’t help but flinch. At that, her mother paused, shifting back once more and keeping her distance. 

“You can’t fool them. They know the truth, they believe me.” Her voice sounded strained and distant and Kate couldn’t help but wonder how much of that was just her mind going. Nothing seemed to quite make sense anymore. 

“They do,” she said, slumping further into Evelyn’s side. The woman took her weight without protest, giving her side a little squeeze that she couldn't make sense of. 

“Of course they do! I am a well-respected woman. And who are you? Unmarried, unsociable, why would they believe you?” The words were careful, intentional, but not how they normally were. There was no tact behind them, not really. 

As she yelled at Kate, restrained and unnoticing of the people watching, it occurred to her that this was not, in fact, her mother. Her mother would never make a scene like this and if she did, if she really snapped like she was supposedly doing right now, she would not keep her distance and try her best to avoid frightening Kate. 

Because that’s what she was doing, stepping away, keeping from shouting too loud, keeping the blame from Kate's shoulders as best she could. It was a show, one calculated to harm her as little as possible while revealing the truth to some closed-minded police officers. 

But Vincent was struggling, struggling to make it natural and believable, so she threw him a bone. 

“You can’t fool me,” Kate said loudly, having no problem making it believable. Maybe she should give Vincent some lessons when this was all over. “They’ll see it soon too. I know you killed him.”

“And I would’ve killed you too if I knew how much trouble you’d cause me,” she said with a scoff. 

And then her eyes widened, looking around at where she was, her breath catching in her chest before she turned tail and ran. 

Everyone was too shocked to stop her, quick orders to chase her down being shouted amidst the chaos. 

Most of the officers left, starting the search efforts. Those who remained didn’t seem to know what else to do with Kate, milling around her awkwardly. 

“What are you doing?” Evelyn snapped. “You heard the woman, she’s innocent, don’t you have better things to be doing than terrorizing this poor girl any further.”

They didn’t seem fully convinced but they seemed more frightened of Evelyn than they were wary of Kate. 

She wondered what it would take for them to fully be done with her, be entirely convinced of her innocence. She imagined there was very little at this point. She’d already messed up too badly, broken too many rules. That crime she was guilty of and so they were convinced that something must be wrong. 

She couldn’t bring herself to care any longer. There was no anger left in her. 

Evelyn began to pull her towards the door and she followed like a well-drilled pup. 

Harvey passed them as they attempted to flee and she knew instantly that it was her detective. She was so much better at seeing it now, at recognizing it, even as distant as she felt. 

He smiled at her and then turned towards the rest of the precinct. 

“And that concludes this case. My apologies for keeping this from you, but I felt the ruse was necessary to find the truth. The lovely Miss Katherine here was willing to help, once she heard my plan. Her intention, of course, was to clear her mother of any suspicion. When we cornered her, she told a different tale. I just needed time to settle the case. Fortunately, she seemed set on doing it for me,” he finished with a put-on laugh.

She heard Evelyn sigh beside her and mutter under her breath, just barely loud enough for Kate to hear, “He really is too much.”

Confused murmurs filled the precinct but Vincent did not seem like he wanted to stick around to clear anything up. 

That felt like it was best. She had no idea where the real Harvey had ended up in the chaos or how long they had until he returned. 

She let Vincent lead her off, Evelyn shifting Kate over to him, shouldering most of her weight as they walked. 

She stayed tucked carefully into his side. It felt safe there, secure in a way she hadn’t felt in a long time. 

“Why didn’t you do that before freeing me?” she asked, much later than she should have, but at least she still had the sense to ask at all. 

He looked away, a sheepish air taking over him. “I didn’t want to keep you locked in there any longer than I had to. The plan was just to incapacitate Harvey but… it wasn’t right.”

“You’re an idiot.”

He shrugged. “Maybe. I got the job done though.”

“Hmm.” And then, perfectly patient, holding out just long enough to not inconvenience them too badly, she collapsed. 

[verslxt]

pairing : dabi x fem bodied!reader

warnings : love bites, marking, burning (?)

authors note : i'm tired :)

as you walked into your room from the night out that you just had you walked into your room. and you saw your fwb partner dabi. "oh hey what are you doing here?" you said setting your purse down on the chair next to your dresser

"i don't know y/n why don't you ask hawks who showed me an interesting photo of you grinding on another man?" dabi said looking at you while you were taking your heels off

you looked at dabi like he was fucking crazy "we're literally friends with benefits how are you mad over me grinding on someone at the club? we aren't even together." you rubutted your cheeks warming up just a smidge

dabi stood up towering over you practically pinning you to the door. you looked up at him and he dipped his head down to meet your face "your mine. got that princess." dabi told you tilting your chin up to look at him.

"mhm yeah sure." you said pursing your lips and walking off unzipping your dress and sliding it off. just in nike pros and a bra. dabi comes up behind you wrapping his arms around your waist.

"mine." dabi said latching his mouth onto a spot on your neck. letting a small whimper leave your lips. as dabi ran his tongue over the forming hickey. "mhm ah~" you moaned out as dabi rammed his hips against yours

"yeah pretty girl" he smirked running his finger over the new hickey. "i'm gunna leave hickeys all over you so people know your my slut." dabi whispered in your ear pushing you down onto the bed. he reached behind you and slipped your bra off. he wrapped his lips around your nipple. coxing a whine out of your lips as you pushed his head down.

dabi let his head up and ran his finger over your nipple he went up to your collar bones and bit them. "ahhh fuck!" you moaned out as let up from your collar bone moving up to your neck to suck on it.

after about 30 minutes there were about 40 different bite marks and hickeys on you. you laid in dabis arms as he runs his fingers through your hair "your mine, got that princess?" he said tilting your face up to look at him "got it" you said as you looked up at him.

taglist (open) : @snazzyturtles, @katsukisottoman, @kit-katsuki, @leadermayloro, @K4rma-4, @Tashi, @suxteenx, @sherlock-despacito, @hitoshi-my-hero

[avelera]

I admittedly haven’t seen much OFMD S2 criticism but I did masochistically go looking to see what the major complaints were.

I’m not all that interested in addressing individual critiques. Some of them made sense to me. Some of them were a bit silly. Some were clearly based on the show not being the fanfic people had written in their heads after they watched S1. Some were mad for the inevitable shipping reasons.

But what I think is the most important thing for OFMD fans and fans of any ongoing story to remember is this:

The sequel will never be able to match the fact you watched the first part without preconceived expectations.

No second season of OFMD could ever match the fact that no one was expecting Season 1. They weren’t expecting the kiss. They can’t recapture the uncertainty and euphoria of that relationship becoming canon. They can’t recreate the audience discovering its unique mix of Muppet humor and heartfelt drama with glancing moments of historical accuracy, all awash in stageplay level special effects as a love letter to old-school pirate plays and musicals. You can’t ever experience that again for the first time.

If these two seasons had aired back to back, far from seeing a decrease in quality or change in tone, I think you’d find they match one another very closely and seamlessly throughout. It was only the long break that allowed people to imagine certain story beats or characterizations or threads like historical accuracy as being more important than they were.

If Season 1 had ended, say, with the, “Never left.” beat while “The Chain” played as the last thing we saw before the credits rolled and the wait for S2 began, the fandom landscape and expectations would have been wildly different. But then, every OFMD episode adds wildly new elements, they’re all very different from each other, and anyone who thought any one those elements would be the new constant tone of the show going forward would be wrong. And yet, that’s what happened inevitably after the last episode of S1.

Honestly, I thought it was a bit of a shame, from a fanfic writer perspective only, that S1 ended on such a dark note because it was so out of keeping with 90% of the rest of the show but inevitably, I knew the fandom and fan writers would latch onto that dark thread in an effort to continue the story, since it’s where S1 left off. But OFMD was always going to resolve that separation quickly then return to humor and hijinks (albeit with notes of drama and more serious emotions, as it always has) , it’s right there in the romcom plot structure, a structure which owes much more to OFMD’s DNA than any historical pirate drama.

*Sigh* Anyway, I’m excited for the season finale. And truly I haven’t seen much criticism, but I’ve been chewing on these thoughts since I woke up to critiques of ep 6-7 last week and was then baffled by it once I saw the episodes myself. So there it is.

[gwensy]

Hi!! I was perusing your blog and I like your insight on 65-Gwen Stacy. I've read an absolutely obscene amount of 616 Spidey comics, including every appearance of Gwen up to her death, and then of course the epic highs and lows afterwards (Spider-Man "unreliable narrator Peter" Blue, Clone "what a twist!" Saga, Clone "Dan Slott, why" Conspiracy... the works).

ANYWAYS. Needless to say I'm a big fan of main universe Gwen... I've always been intrigued by her 65 counterpart, and though I read a good chunk of the original Gwenom arc, I feel a little lost as far as where to jump in for 65-Gwen.

Do you have any recs for an enjoyer of catty, bull-headed, but caring and ultimately tragic Gwendolyn Stacy? I've got to believe both Gwens have more in common than a lot of the fandom would lead me to think.

hi there!!! always glad to hear. my brain has been latched onto spider-man's dead girlfriend since i was like seven years old so needless to say i am irregular and dedicated 🙂‍↕️👈. i've gotten asks about reading lists for gwen-65 in the past, my most comprehensive list of comics i recommend people read when looking to get into her character can be found in this ask answer.

I think it's important to note with Gwen-65 that she is a different person, if anything [and multiple people criticizing Latour's Spider-Gwen for this when the comics were releasing also said this] I think that Gwen-65 acts alot like Peter Parker, which reads as an intentional choice with the amount that she mirrors him.

Gwen-65 would not have turned out like 616dolyne even if the spider had never bit her-- pre-bite she was already a reckless, selfish and traumatized kid. even down to the way her life had played out pre-bite, she's next door neighbors and childhood friends with Peter Parker, her mother died when she was three, characters like May Parker, Ben Parker & even people like Foggy Nelson and Jean DeWolff have all been involved in her life since she was a child. and this all makes sense, it's an alternate universe and I think it's unfair to criticize this version of Gwen Stacy purely on account of "not acting like she did in ASM" (<- although [at least in early issues. don't ask me about recent ones i have not read them] I do think she acts similarly to Ultimate Gwen Stacy, so. shrug.).

-- but something that *is* very integral to Gwen-65 [and uniquely tragic, I think.] is her own personal thoughts on this; she feels So Strongly about the fact that she is so unlike her deceased counterparts. through her eyes, her survival is what causes everybody else in her universe to suffer in the ways that they do; she is entirely under the impression that her dying at nineteen or twenty would've been a better outcome than turning out the way she did. she is constantly praised as being somebody lucky, somebody special, but she still has to face an entire universe where she is almost always dead. like its awesome, doesn't that suck so bad can you imagine being like 19 and knowing all that. Check it out

Gwen-65 is essentially haunted by her own ghost and she is eternally angry and dejected towards this fact-- even down to the title of 'Spider-Gwen' only ever being used in a way that either demeans her or specifically differentiates her as "the alive one". she is somebody who is both dead and alive at the same time and never truly feels okay with it, she is not 616's Gwen Stacy and those are shoes that she is acutely aware she cannot fill. so like, if anything I think the undiagnosed ptsd, kind of a bad person version of Gwen is Interesting as her own person regardless. because she's *not* her own person, nobody will allow her to be.

-- but anyways this was super long I apologize for that. i love talking about Gwen Stacy though so feel free to send more asks + I hope this helped you! smiles