#omg so i volunteered to speak at graduation

[foragergnome]

urrghh i wanna draw so bad but that would mean getting up and . errmm

[oswaldsleftbicep]

Hey,how are you? I know that you're not very atm but i saw that you had 0 asks so I thought I'd leave one here for when you come back :)

I'd like to know your headcanons about them boys in a human high school, since we already got the college hcs

anyways, take ur time and i hope you will feel better <3

the boys as high schoolers

omg this was so fun to think about lol also you're so sweet :,) i am doing a lot better, just trying to push myself back into getting my life back together again

genre: crack, unintentional angst

cw: american high school, language, mention of sex

Lucia

❧ deffo in the popular crowd, the one with the preppy boys and girls who are also all involved in a sport, throughout all four years of high school

❧ he gave off the vibes that he would be kinda stuck up and would laugh at you behind your back, but he was actually one of the nice ones, albeit just a tad bit insensitive

❧ played a sport, maybe something like lacrosse or basketball, and was the captain of his team in his last year of high school. he'd also been on the team since he was a freshman, spiking his popularity immensely

❧ his favorite class was probably chemistry, because of the experiments, or gym, because it was easy

❧ his language arts teacher loathed him because he just could not understand any of the books they assigned. he would always take things too literally or say "it's not that deep, bro" to the teacher's face lmao

❧ he and his friends would sit to the side of the class, never up front but not quite in the very back, and this mf would always be making some kind of noise, either tapping his pencil or running his mouth-- at least he was kinda funny

❧ he was on grade level for most of his classes, except for being in honors sciences beginning his second year. he managed to graduate with a 3.1 gpa!!

❧ went to all the dances and formals, and he won prom king his senior year, although the girl he went with wasn't even nominated for prom queen awkward

❧ he honestly had one of the biggest glow ups, but like personality wise. when he was a freshman he was obnoxious and running through the halls and bothering people with rude jokes, but then he got diagnosed with adhd, got meds, and learned a bunch of coping strategies that calmed him down and made him a better student and friend

❧ picked on levy in the halls every chance he took, and if it weren't for the teachers, he would've picked on him some more in the classes they shared. he would've done the same with mefy, but his youngest brother always seemed to evade him somehow

❧ had a petty rivalry with mikael, and was pretty good friends with ricardo in that they always got into shenanigans together

Levy

❧ straight-a student and valedictorian the year he graduated :,) you bet your ass lucia was cheering so loud for him during his speech

❧ volunteered in the school library all four years, but especially so in his senior year when he had a bunch of free periods. anytime he had free time or it was study hall, he'd go to the library

❧ valued comfort in terms of his outfits but he also wanted to look put together, so he'd always be in a sweater or nice shirt with dark jeans or casual dress pants

❧ had a small group of friends that consisted of people he'd have multiple classes with or was in clubs with, but he also spent a decent amount of time with mefy and kaim

❧ speaking of clubs, he was in the book club all four years of high school as well as participating in the debate club. he was also in several honors societies and acted as a peer tutor, and you bet he was decorated as hell during graduation

❧ wanted so bad for his school to have an equestrian team, which they didn't because what kind of school has that, so he joined a local team instead, which got a few snobby popular kids to tease him for being "a horse girl"

❧ he liked all of his classes, although is favorites were history and english; his least favorite was gym, hands down. he would always be doing the bare minimum and coming up with excuses to get out of the more intense sports

❧ didn't go to any of the typical high school events like dances or games because he thought he was above all that, but he was really just too anxious

❧ he played an instrument in his first year of high school, something he carried over from middle school, but he just got too busy for it and it was no longer a priority. he either played viola or some shit like the oboe

❧ his teachers at the start of every year would see his last name and get filled with dread like "oh no not another one" but they then visibly relaxed when they realized he wasn't anything like lucia

❧ was in a lot of above grade level classes, which eventually led him to be in the same class as lucia a few times. levy thought it was so embarrassing and tried to sit as far away from lucia and his friends as possible. lucia has tried to get levy to do his homework before lol

Mefy

❧ he was an enigma to like ninety five percent of the school; he barely associated with anyone, always stuck to himself, wouldn't linger in one place for very long, and no one could find him during free time

❧ this unfortunately led him to be labeled as the "school shooter kid," which never bothered him but his brothers would be livid at hearing anyone call their baby brother that awful thing

❧ he had like two close friends and spent a lot of time with levy, and he was also close with the psychology/sociology teacher, whom he would eat lunch with every day for his last two years of high school. he liked that they never seemed to mind his deep, somewhat worrying questions about life and the human psyche

❧ his first year he stuck with levy in the cafeteria for lunch, then his second year he'd steal lucia's student id to eat outside in the senior courtyard

❧ he was a brilliant student, but he hardly ever participated in class and didn't put in more effort than he needed to which lowkey brought his grades lower than they could have been. his phych/soc teacher was the only one who noticed this and talked to him about it, which earned them his respect

❧ his favorite classes were psychology, sociology, and computer science, in that order. he was okay with the other classes, but refused to take any that would draw attention to himself, like theater or music

❧ he faked a doctors note that got him out of gym and levy was so salty about it. so all he ended up doing for that semester was walking laps lmao

❧ he joined the debate club with levy, but solely for the purpose of arguing with people and being able to get under their skin and gaslight them without serious repercussion. the advisor for the club knew what was up but genuinely did not care enough to stop him

❧ for his foreign language credit, he probably took something less popular like german or latin, and he'll just be saying shit in that language to lucia while levy snickers in the background

❧ he came up with the senior prank for his class and everyone loved it and immediately had a change of heart for him like, "man maybe this kid wasn't so bad." the prank ended up being a little too much for the principal, who demanded to know whose idea it was, but nobody snitched

❧ ...which made him feel just a little bit bad for hacking the school's grade system and changing everyone's grades to a d it got fixed don't worry

Oswald

❧ the american football coach tried so hard to get him on the team, but oswald didn't trust himself to go through with it because of his anger issues. he also didn't know if he could keep his grades up enough to stay on the team

❧ also kind of a loner, but in that he didn't really have anyone who he was close with at all. he hung out with noel the most, and lucia and kaim every so often, but for the most part he walked the halls alone

❧ he was a part time babysitter all four years of high school, and all four years he worked for kurt's family, and he brought that kid to watch every football game the school had

❧ he was a below average student, graduated with a 2.8 and had to retake algebra 1 his freshman year. he had to get a tutor for pretty much every general subject, especially for language arts his handwriting and essay skills are atrocious

❧ the one subject he never had to get help in though was science. earth and space, biology, chemistry, somehow even physics he always excelled in. physics was a bit of a struggle for him because of how much math is in it, but at the time kurt really wanted to be an astronaut and oswald was willing to learn physics to help him achieve that goal

❧ by the time oswald graduated, kurt no longer wanted to be an astronaut :,) rip

❧ he found out about the votech program and enrolled his junior year. he joined the agriculture one and fell in love with it, setting up an easy career path for him to go on as soon as he graduated

❧ he joined the environmental club starting his second year and managed to convince the principal to start a student garden! oswald spent pretty much all of his free time taking care of the garden, making sure it was watered and weeded

❧ he was so close to being able to join the science national honors society, but his gpa was just under the minimum requirement :(

❧ which meant that he didn't have any chords or anything during graduation which is nothing to be ashamed of, but he was kinda hard on himself about the snhs thing, so little eight year old kurt made him an honor chord by messily finger crocheting a row of chain stitches out of neon green yarn :,)

❧ he wore it with pride and anyone who'd ask about it would swoon at the answer, "my kid brother made it for me"

❧ he was low-key a heart throb in his school, but solely for his tall, dark, and handsome appearance. anyone who tried to ask him out or confess immediately found out that he's kinda clueless and not at all the bad boy they thought he was lmao

Kaim

❧ he was absolutely that mf who wore a suit to school every day. he'd go "casual" on friday by wearing a cashmere sweater and some dress pants

❧ his mom is friends with the brothers' mom, so he was close with all of them growing up but more so because his mom told him to "look out for them," knowing he was the only one out of all of them who had any real sense

❧ he was lowkey the therapist friend but on a more crisis intervention scale than a "do u need to vent" scale. he called lucia out several times for his shenanigans, kept mefy from becoming a bully, and talked oswald down from a lot of near spirals

❧ his favorite class was consistently language arts and he could write one persuasive ass essay, which helped him a lot in history, too. his least favorite class he had to take was computer science; no matter what he did, he just could not get his code to work and it nearly cost him his flawless gpa lmao

❧ speaking of gpa, he maintained honor roll throughout the entirety of high school, and graduated with a 4.0. he was above grade level in all his classes but refused to take ap classes, claiming they were a waste of time and money they are

❧ he favored his electives a lot more than his general classes. he low-key thrived in home economics, and the teacher convinced him to take the culinary class starting his junior year and got him enrolled in the field experience for culinary arts in his senior year

❧ he absolutely was an orchestra kid and had been playing the cello since fourth grade, earning him first chair by the time he was a junior. he also played the piano and helped out with school musicals and talent shows by playing the piano for songs if it required live music

❧ he earned a decent amount of chords for graduation: honors society for language arts, culinary club, orchestra, honor roll. he now uses them to tie his curtains back lmao

❧ everyone low-key dreaded being partnered up with him for projects, only because he's such a perfectionist and would make damn sure everyone did their part of the project and did it correctly

❧ absolute teacher's pet though, all of them loved how diligent and intelligent he was, making him the high school version of a teacher's assistant

❧ my school didn't have this, but he would absolutely have been hall monitor. he was, however, almost elected student body president despite not running, his class just nominated him lol

❧ much to his dismay, he was elected vice president of the student body and was put in charge of organizing student events. planning prom almost gave him grey hairs at the ripe age of seventeen

Mikael

❧ he didn't really fit in with a particular crowd, so i guess you could call him a wallflower in that sense? he was kinda a loner, but didn't give off the typical "loner" vibes

❧ very quiet, always got his work done on time, and always did his work exceptionally well, which made him a straight-a student as well

❧ he very well could have been the top of his class, but his lack of participation in class discussions and such knocked his grades down slightly. he always preferred to work alone, hated presentations, and never elaborated his verbal responses

❧ the one exception to him working alone was if noel was in his class; he knew that noel would be reliable and would just want to get the assignment over, and he wouldn't talk his ear off

❧ some of his teachers understood that he just wasn't comfortable and made an exception or didn't deduct points because they saw how eloquent his written responses were, but there's always those few teachers that just don't care lol

❧ he graduated with a 3.9 unweighted gpa, and he took several honors and even a few ap classes on top of being in science national honors society and national art honor society twin; he's a smart cookie

❧ his favorite classes were astronomy and art, he loathed gym and, despite him being good at math, he just could not understand geometry. he chose latin as his world language, although i could also see him taking greek if his school offered it

❧ he took ap psychology and ap world history, amongst a few others, and the exams annihilated him; he would have been elated to get a 3, but was beyond shocked when he saw he got a 4 on all of them

❧ his immense knowledge about the christian religion and the bible impressed the school's christian athlete leader did y'all's school have one of those?? and she tried to recruit him thinking he'd be perfect for the group, but he looked at her with the most perplexed look ever and responded, "i'm neither christian nor an athlete, why are you asking me this??"

❧ she got super embarrassed and refused to look at him when he took her sat prep class the next semester lmao

❧ he ate his lunch consistently in the atrium for the first three years of high school, and then in the senior courtyard next to the little fountain his last year, always alone though

❧ he was in choir for the first year of high school, something he'd done since elementary school, but he quit after seeing how petty everyone was to each other

❧ he'd hated lucia since he met him in the third grade, and on graduation day, mikael told lucia that he was genuinely surprised to see him graduate lmao

Ricardo

❧ definitely a student athlete, his first year was spent in basketball and his last three years were in american football, and he definitely got benched a few times

❧ he actually almost got kicked off the team in his sophomore year for bringing a fucking knife to school-- at least he was smart enough to not bring his gun

❧ he's a decently smart guy, but he just didn't put in the effort for his classes-- he did just enough to stay on his team. he was practically on a first name basis with his guidance counselor from how many visits they'd have between his grades and since the knife incident

❧ that being said, his grades never saw above a 3.0, in fact he averaged about a 2.6 all of high school. he also didn't bother to take the sat because he genuinely didn't think he'd go to college until the last semester of his senior year when he got a surprise scholarship for his athleticism

❧ his favorite class was gym, he always made sure to take a physical education class once a year. he also secretly really enjoyed the home economics class he put off until his last semester of senior year. the teacher was this older lady, and they grew pretty close and he'd even eat lunch with her, spending his free period and study hall in her classroom under the excuse that he needed more help on a certain topic. he gave her his jersey at the end of the year and she made sure to get a photo with him on graduation day :,)

❧ definitely infamous in his school for being a massive flirt and has definitely hooked up with several cheerleaders. it's funny cuz he always scoffed at what you learn in health class about sti's and safe sex, until he caught mono from someone in the theater class lmao

❧ i'm sorry but he was low-key very disrespectful to his teachers, at least for the first half of high school. like he'd roll his eyes at them, leave a mess, be on his phone all of class

❧ he was also a pain to be partnered up with for a project; if you got stuck with him, you bet your ass you'd be doing all the work. anything he said he'd do would be half assed, and you better hope you had a teacher who didn't grade collectively

❧ the academic classes he'd pay the most attention to were history and government, especially in terms of war periods and diplomacy. he lowkey loved playing devil's advocate in these classes which pissed off everyone else lmao

❧ his freshman year he was definitely the kid who wore those god awful graffiti-style backpacks with a speaker inside them, blasting the worst trash rap you ever heard

❧ another thing that almost got him kicked off the team, he got caught bullying a freshman in his junior year. he had to have a meeting with the kid's parents and apologize formally to the kid, and he got a semester's worth of detention and suspended from his sport for a month

❧ he shaped up a lot after that, and he ended up becoming one of the team's star players, definitely not the mvp or the captain, but he was valued for being a machine on the field, pure manpower and determination

❧ was pretty close friends with lucia, and although they drifted apart in their junior year a bit, they got close again come senior year and talked about going to the same college together after ricardo found out about his scholarship

❧ brought an air horn to the graduation ceremony and almost didn't get to walk the stage lmao

Noel

❧ won the superlative for being the quietest in his class lol; it got to the point where his teachers wouldn't cold call him for discussions knowing they'd get one word responses that wouldn't contribute anything at all

❧ he was always seen alone, or with either mikael or oswald, never anyone else. with mikael, they'd just eat together every once in a while, or they'd work on a project together. with oswald, they were just the oddest duo to see: a behemoth of a man and a small guy with a killer resting bitch face

❧ he really enjoyed biology as a class and elected to take anatomy, but promptly dropped it when he learned what they'd be dissecting. instead, he switched to forensic science and had a little too much fun making his crime scene diorama

❧ this poor kid could barely make it through his math classes. he had to be tutored in math all through high school and oswald became his study buddy aw

❧ the same thing applied with his language arts class: he just kept falling behind, his written grammar skills were awful, as was his handwriting. between this and the fact that he hardly spoke, his teacher just assumed that he didn't speak the school's primary language and had the bright idea of putting him in an "x for speakers of other languages" class lmaoo

❧ he was evaluated and it turned out that he, in fact, could understand the primary language, he's just very silent and is bad at grammar. so, he was moved again to a lower language arts class

❧ he didn't particularly hate any of his classes, he just knew he had to suck it up and do them. he'd try his hardest, sure, but sometimes he'd just do the minimum effort required if he really wasn't feeling it

❧ he joined the environmental club with oswald and helped him with the gardens. he also tried out the culinary club, but upon promptly burning his first dish to ashes, determined that maybe it wasn't for him lol

❧ so aside from the environmental club and tutoring, he didn't really have any extracurriculars. he was very much a "i'm here to learn and go home" type of guy

❧ he graduated with a 2.8 gpa, and hated the grad cap lmao he absolutely wore his casual clothes under his gown, which he took off almost immediately after the ceremony was over

Lucas

❧ very well known through the whole school, he was regarded as a heartthrob and resident pretty boy, but for some reason he didn't seem to have very many friends, and no one really seemed to know much about him

❧ he was as active as possible in school life; he joined the yearbook committee in his first year and started taking journalism classes in his junior year, he also one of the only ones to pay attention to student board elections

❧ he was very big on the arts classes that his school offered, especially photography, which in turn helped out a lot for the yearbook. he also took a ceramics class, and the art teachers loved him so much that they gave him his own senior studio space in his sophomore year

❧ he actually did really well in all of his classes, he's a quick learner and had a phenomenal memory. the one thing he sucked at was note taking. so when he took a history class that required cornell notes?? bye, that was the lowest grade he's ever gotten

❧ mans was the king of extracurriculars, on top of the yearbook committee he was in the gsa and best buddies, and he scored national art honors society

❧ he hung around a different friend group every day, so he knew everyone's beef all the time, which easily made him the most powerful man in the school in a way. he never used it for bad, but it would give him topic ideas for the school newspaper

❧ failed the pacer test so bad in his freshman year that half the people in his class that had crushes on him got the ick and stopped lmao

❧ he tried doing theater in his sophomore year, but everyone was so in each other's business that he stopped after that one year; he landed a spot in the musical though and killed it

❧ the psychology/sociology and language arts teachers always got a kick talking to him because of the odd shit that comes out of this guys mouth; he'd pose the most thought provoking and lowkey existential questions about the content material that had the teachers on a tangent for the rest of class. his classmates would either love him or hate him for this, grateful to have an easy rest of class or freaking out at the question too

❧ he graduated with a 3.6 gpa, and he had several chords from his extracurriculars. he didn't really want to wear them, not finding them important or that big of a deal, but his art teachers convinced him that he worked hard for them

❧ the yearbooks all four years of his high school career were the best the school had seen that their sales went up. after he graduated, they dipped in quality and the yearbook committee advisor was so sad lol

[roseofcards90]

please tell me your mappi headcanons <3 and hmhmm... have u thought much about amane or 0608 interactions? :3c

Oooh!!! I HAVE ACTUALLY OMG I feel like people should focus more on their relationship, it’s so sweet!!! 🥺 here are some of them!!!

Mappi headcanons:

- This one isn’t originally mine but yeah I believe in Filipino Mahiru supremacy HONORARY PINOY FR

- To me she seems like the kind of person who would have little habits/ticks she likes to do like twirling her pencil around, bouncing her leg while she’s sitting, skipping around in place those sort of things!!!

- She also likes to gesticulate with her hands a lot so she can get her point across, and it helps her keep track of her thoughts too when she’s speaking to someone

- Her, Kazui, and Mikoto like to hang out occasionally! I feel like they would volunteer together at an animal shelter to help out! :D

- She would show up to Haruka, Yuno, and Mu’s high school graduation and make a whole banner for them! She would make the biggest deal out of it because she’s just so proud of them you know 🥺

- Loves to bake, is really good at it actually (she would definitely do those pie competitions some people have you know whoever makes the best pie gets a ribbon yeah that, she has so many ribbons :3) , but struggles sometimes with cooking, Shidou helps teach her some skills and come up with easier recipes for her to make!

- I also think she would totally stress bake just so she could vent out all her emotions djfjfkfk which results in a lot of cookies and cakes being made. She gives all the extra ones to Amane!

- This is the dumbest one but I headcanon that she’s just extremely good at DDR, SO MUCH SO that one time she was at the arcade with Kotoko, she attracted so much of a crowd with how high her score was while everyone else cheered her on. It was at that moment that Futa Kajiyama, who was also at the arcade at the time, swears to beat her at this game one day LMAO

- Is the sole focus of the majority of the pictures on Kotoko’s camera, has a polaroid picture of them together in her phone case, also they have matching charms on both of their school bags—

Amane headcanons:

- She would definitely do color guard in school! It’s one of her main passions, along with band! I want Amane Momose to play a trumpet I think it would be amazing

- Kazui, Shidou, Futa, Mahiru, and Kotoko are at her games often, they all cheer her on ofc <3

- Shidou always loves to celebrate after her games with giving her pancakes! Ofc she denies them and lets the others eat them, but she’ll save one pancake for herself just to show her appreciation (cue Shidou crying in the corner while Kazui tries to comfort him LMAO)

- I feel like she would be an avid collector of pokemon cards, or just like any trading card game for that matter. Futa always takes her to card game stores so she can pick out the newest packs and they can build decks together. Sometimes Mikoto joins in but he has no idea what he’s doing jhdfbhjd

THIS IS HOW I IMAGINE AMANE AND MIKOTO PLAYING CARD GAMES TOGETHER LMAO

- In the beginning, she wasn’t that good and Futa would always beat her, but now they're evenly matched, and she always revels in the victory whenever she wins in a game against Futa >:3

- Yuno would help with picking out new outfits for her! I feel like they would frequent the mall often lol. Haruka also joins them on occasion, and him and Amane love to look at all the stuffed animal and book stores together!

- Her, Haruka, and Mu would probably take an art class over the summer together and all of them would be so invested in it that it becomes a hobby!

- Once Amane gets to high school, I think it would be cute if Mu gave her a hand me down uniform with custom stitching and everything. The uniform has embroidery all around it where everyone contributed to something on the uniform

- Kotoko takes her to martial arts training classes, which she enjoys a lot. She tries out the new kicks she's learned on Futa and Shidou <3

- Kazui always gives her piggy back rides 🥺

- Amane has a pet cat named Sango, whom she loves very much 🥺 she is very sweet and spoiled, and loves cuddling with her. It helps Amane when she has trouble sleeping, or if she has a nightmare

0608 interactions!!!

- I said before how Mappi would give Amane all the extra sweets she's made, but I also think that Amane herself would try to learn how to bake, so Mappi offers to be her taste tester! Sometimes she creates inedible things and Mappi suffers but it's with a smile as Amane smiles back at her and continues on baking! :D (she'll tell her what she did wrong later dfkjnfd)

- Amane always loves to help out with cooking dinners! She would help Mahiru peel and cut all the vegetables! They would also frequent the food market together I feel like, and Mahiru allows Amane to pick out a few sweet treats like candy that she can take home

- Mahiru buys a little cat charm for Amane's bookbag! She also helps cat sit Sango whenever Amane is busy

- Around the holidays, her and Amane would go to all the festivities around town! Looking at the Christmas lights, drinking hot chocolate, all of that! Amane would start snowball fights with Mappi, and they both get competitive really quick lol (spoiler: Amane always wins <3)

[xbaepsae]

same old mistakes (m)

“But it wasn’t that you necessarily regretted sleeping with Hoseok. No, you very much enjoyed it—maybe too much—which is why it was wrong. So fucking wrong.”

[rich boy!hoseok x reader]

genre: country club!au, smut, slightly angsty, some fluff

word count: 12.8k

rating: mature

warnings: sex. lots and lots of unprotected sex lmao (please use protection), slight rough sex, some jealousy, rich prick asshole jung hoseok, mentions of alcohol, language, golf terminology (i’m sorry if it’s wrong idk anything about golf LMAO) oblivious mutual pining lol

a/n: omg this fic absolutely consumed me these last few weeks. i haven’t been able to think about anything else, which is why i haven’t been super active lol. so glad i finished this before the upcoming valentine’s holiday and hobi’s birthday <3 loved writing this so much! rich asshole hoseok has my heart. xoxo

You have never felt more flustered in your life.

It’s the summer after your first year of college, and you decided to come home—to spend a little time with your mother and her new husband. Well, more like she begged you to come home. You actually wanted to visit your roommate’s family on the coast, and spend your days at the beach, but your mother insisted that you come home instead.

Now that you are home, she doesn’t even have time to spend with you. She and her husband are too busy vacationing; that should’ve been you. You can’t even bear to look at your roommate’s Instagram account. And worse of all, your mother signed you up for a job you did not consent to.

“You did what?”

Your mother blinked back at you, feigning innocence. “I heard from Mrs. Lee—you know, our neighbor down the street that attends the local country club—and she said that they were hiring for the summer. You know how rich people love their golf and fancy dinners.”

“And you just decided to volunteer me?” You couldn’t believe her. “I don’t want to work at some prissy country club.”

“Weren’t you just complaining about being broke last week?” She really did not need to expose you like that. “This’ll be good for you, honey.”

Thus, you found yourself standing in front of the country club not even a week later. They hadn’t even asked you to do an interview; you just talked to a manager on the phone and she said for you to just come in. Honestly, too suspiciously easy but what could you do about it? Your mother had been right—you did need the money.

When you arrived, you were immediately whisked away into training. There, one of the girls, Soyoung, fitted you into the uniform—a plain white polo and khaki shorts—and told you what you’d be doing here.

“So, there are a lot of different areas here,” she began, “as you can see from how big this country club is. So, you might find yourself working in different areas occasionally…but for now, you’re going to be on the course with the drink cart.”

Soyoung explained that as the drink cart girl, you’d be driving a golf cart around while handing out beer and other drinks to the golfers on the course. It seemed easy enough, except you’d never driven a golf cart before…or tried to sell people something. However, Soyoung assured you it was easy.

But that was about an hour ago. Since then, a lot has happened. You managed to get the golf cart to work, but it is considerably different from an actual car. The forward/backwards switches were tripping you up. Because of that, you already knocked over a display…or two.

Which leads you to your most embarrassing moment.

For some reason, you forgot that being back in your hometown means the possibility of running into people you went to high school with. The thought just didn’t seem to come to mind. Being off at university has made you forget about all of those idiots you used to be around every day. Until now, when you bump into one of them. Literally.

You really hadn’t seen him behind you; then again, you weren’t looking, which was probably not the greatest idea. But you blindly backed up and hit him. Not that you were going fast or anything, but he did cause an outburst.

“Oh my—fuck! Watch where you’re going!”

Horrified, you press onto the breaks. Turning around, an apology begins to fall from your lips. “I am so sorry. It’s my first time—”

“Y/n?”

You freeze at the voice; it sounds awfully familiar. Blinking a few times, your eyes focus on the person in front of you. And your stomach sinks. Standing in front of you is none other than Jung Hoseok—the last person you ever expected to see again.

He must see the recognition fill your eyes because he instantly smirks. “Wow, it really is you. It’s been a while, huh? Haven’t seen you since graduation.”

An awkward laugh passes through your teeth. “Yeah…it really has.”

“Didn’t expect to see you here,” his smirk seems to widen, and his eyes travel down to your clothes. “You work here or something?”

“Yeah…just started today, actually.”

He nods appreciatively. “Nice. Well, I’m here almost every day, so, I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other.”

I hope not. “Sure.”

Just as Hoseok opens his mouth to say something else, someone calls his name. He looks away from you, and that’s when you finally allow yourself a moment to look at him. For the first time, you realize how long a year is and how much change can happen in that time frame. Even though it irks you a bit to think about, he looks really good—even in his damn polo and khakis.

You take in the curved slope of his nose, the way his brows are perfectly arched to match his equally perfect eyes. And you’re almost blinded by his pearly white smile. Perhaps, Hoseok has always been attractive—dark, windswept hair and all. You’ve just never wanted to admit it; even after that one—

“Catch you around, y/n,” he suddenly says, and that’s when you realize he’s caught you. He smirks and shoots you a wink as he walks away, leaving you to mentally kick yourself alone.

***

In high school, you and Jung Hoseok were in different crowds. He was preppy and popular—kind of snooty, to be honest—and you were just normal. Not popular, but not a complete wallflower either. Despite not being in the same circles, you both had a few classes together; which meant that you knew each other decently well. At least, you knew enough about Hoseok that you wanted nothing to do with him.

Except for that one, momentarily lapse of judgment, your conscious suddenly reminds you. But you’d rather not think about that right now.

Another thing about Hoseok that you knew of was his background; he came from money—a lot of it, actually. You don’t know exactly what his family does, but they’re those old money types; the kind of rich people that have been rich forever. Which helped to explain his popularity in high school, and how he had a country club membership now.

You wished you knew that before you got the job here.

As you drive around the golf course, feeling more comfortable driving the cart now, you may or may not be on the lookout for Hoseok. Now that you know he’s here, your eyes seem to search for him everywhere. And it’s not because you want to see him; you want to avoid him, if possible.

It’s not until you’re halfway through the course that you see him with a group of other guys, which—to your displeasure—are also people you went to high school with. It’s fitting though, you presume, considering they were all close then as well.

You don’t know anything about golf, but you watch as Hoseok lines up his club to the ball. He swings only once, and the ball flies. You follow where it goes and watch as it hits the grass and rolls right into the hole. His friends cheer for him as he turns around with a smug look on his face. “And that, everyone, is how you fucking do it.”

“Nice, man,” one person—who you recognize as Jeon Jeongguk—says, moving to pat him on the back.

“The motherfucking GOAT,” another—Kim Namjoon—laughs.

“Maybe you should just go pro or something, dude,” the last guy says, and you recognize him as Kim Seokjin. “Because you’ve hit an ace, birdie or eagle at every hole.”

Hoseok laughs at that. “Maybe I’m just lucky today.”

“Dude probably just had good ass last night,” Namjoon smirks. “So, who was it?”

“A gentleman does not kiss and tell, my friend,” Hoseok winks, and you can’t help but roll your eyes at the banter between all of these men. Disgusting. “But if you really want to know…”

“Not you trying to get Hoseok’s sloppy seconds,” Seokjin speaks directly to Namjoon. “Because we all know how that went the first time with—”

“It wasn’t my fault Katie caught feelings,” Hoseok interrupts, walking back towards the rest of his friends. “I told her it was a one-time thing.”

Jeongguk struggles not to laugh as he moves up to line his club and ball. “And then you introduced her to Namjoon.”

“And she used him to get closer to…” Seokjin starts to say, but then he notices you. You’ve never seen someone straighten up so quickly. “How long have you been sitting there?”

“Long enough,” you say as three pairs of eyes turn to look in your direction as well. “Um, drinks?”

“Took you long enough to get here, y/n. I was starting to wonder when you’d arrive,” Hoseok takes a step in your direction, and you watch as the rest of the guys do a double take.

Namjoon is the first to speak, “Ah…y/n. Yes, I remember you…we had chemistry together, right?”

“Oh my gosh, you were in my calculus class!” Jeongguk exclaims, golf club still mid-air.

“I don’t think we had any classes together,” Seokjin says with a pout. “Because if we did, I would’ve remembered you for sure.”

For some reason, you feel your cheeks get hotter. “Um, thanks?”

You can tell they want to say more to you, but Hoseok shoots his friends a look you can’t see, and they close their mouths immediately. Turning back to you, he takes another step close to your golf cart. “A beer for each of us.”

“Aren’t you all underage—”

“No one cares here, y/n,” he cuts you off with a smirk. “Besides, Seokjin’s father owns this country club—we can do whatever the fuck we want.”

Shock passes through you at this news, mouth dropping at the realization that Hoseok and his friends might be more privileged than you originally thought.

“And we don’t usually have to pay for anything, but”—he fishes for something in his pocket— “here.”

You look down at his extended hand, where a crumpled 100-dollar bill sits, and practically gawk at it. Who carries such large bills around so casually? “What—?”

“Keep the change,” he stares you right in the eyes, and you have no other choice but to accept the money.

“Thanks,” you manage to say before reaching around to grab four beers from the cooler.

As each bottle is plucked from your hands, Hoseok is the last person to grab his; and the way his fingers accidentally touch your own seems like no accident at all. Although it was only for a few seconds at most, his touch leaves your skin burning. Burning for what? You don’t know; but it lingers the rest of your shift in a way that is so distracting, you nearly hit someone else with the golf cart.

***

“So let me get this story straight, you saw a guy you fucked for the first time in a year and now you don’t know what to do with yourself. Worst of all, his presence at your new job is going to be the death of you.”

You cringe at your roommates’ words. “God, why do you have to say it like that.”

“I mean, that’s who he is right?” her voice echoes through the screen.

She’s not wrong, but it still doesn’t sit right with you. “When you say it like that, it’s just weird.”

“Y/n, you act like you haven’t fucked other guys before.”

“Yes, but what happened with Jung Hoseok was a mistake,” you breathe. “It was never supposed to happen.”

Her pixilated expression softens upon seeing your clear distress. “I understand, babe. We all do things we regret.”

But it wasn’t that you necessarily regretted sleeping with Hoseok. No, you very much enjoyed it—maybe too much—which is why it was wrong. So fucking wrong. It wasn’t like he coerced you into that bedroom; you willingly followed him inside. And you can’t even blame it on the alcohol because you had been as sober as the day you were born.

It was graduation weekend, and everyone had come out to celebrate. You really didn’t want to go, but some of your friends forced you. Just enjoy the time we still have together, y/n, they had said. Ironic, because you no longer spoke to any of them.

Around the fire, behind the massive patio of someone’s house, drinks were poured and passed around. Even though you held a red solo cup in your hand, the murky liquid didn’t draw you in; you hated the way alcohol tasted back then. Still kind of do. But you simply pretended like you were enjoying yourself.

Every single part of you wanted to leave early that night, but you didn’t. You ended up staying because of Hoseok. It was something about the way he carried himself at that bonfire that night. Before, you never saw him as anything more than a spoiled brat; however, the flames of the fire seemed to soften him before your eyes. Because before you knew it, Hoseok pulled you away from the stares of everyone else.

You don’t even remember what happened—what you two talked about or didn’t talk about. But something happened before he kissed you. Unfortunately, it’s all a blur now.

After swelling your lips with, what seemed like, a thousand kisses, he told you he wanted more; and you told him yes. The memory of him rushing with you through the house and into a vacant room still burns hotly in your mind. You had been giddy with nerves and excitement as he pushed you against the closed door, sucking the air from your lungs.

Hoseok ripped your clothes off with practiced hands, clearly experienced with this, and made you come undone more times than you can recall. Throughout this whole exchange, not much was said; but no words were needed when he could read your body so well.

The both of you ended up falling asleep like that—tangled in each other’s arms. And when you woke up a few hours later to the rising sun, horror filled your veins like a shock of ice.

You left without saying anything. Not that you think he would’ve cared either way. Jung Hoseok seemed like he would be used to stuff like that.

You just never thought you’d see him again one year later.

But here he is.

***

During your next few weeks at the country club, you try your best to avoid Hoseok.

This, however, proves difficult to do since you can hear his laughter echoing everywhere. From the hallways to the range, you can’t seem to escape him at all. And it doesn’t help that his friends all seem to be around too.

Every time you catch even the smallest glimpse of him, you turn in the opposite direction. You aren’t sure if he can tell that you’re avoiding him or not, but you don’t care—you just want to get this summer over with already.

“Y/n!”

Turing in the direction your name is being called, you see Soyoung walking towards you. You offer her a tight smile, hoping she isn’t here to tell you that you’re in trouble or something. “Soyoung. What’s up?”

“Do you mind helping me clean up a little by the pool? I know you just got done on the range, but a girl called out and I could really use the help.” She gives you this sad puppy look, which means you can’t refuse her offer. So, begrudgingly, you follow her back outside.

In the hot summer sun, the large crystal blue pool looks like temptation. Soyoung notices your face and laughs. At her laughter, you realize you’ve never seen the pool this close. You pass by the canopy lined pool lounge every day, but you’re not a maid here or on lifeguard duty so you’ve never had a reason to linger very long.

“Looks inviting, huh?”

All you can do is hum in agreement as you begin helping Soyoung pick up disserted pool towels and throwing them into the hamper. As you’re bending down to retrieve a particularly wet towel on the concrete, the hot sun beating down your back is suddenly gone. You look up and notice there’s a shadow blocking the sun—a suspiciously familiar shadow.

Immediately, your back straightens, and you turn around to face a shirtless Hoseok. His hair is wet from the pool, which means beads of water are cascading down his chest. You try not to stare, but he’s literally so close; there’s nowhere else to look. Your eyes follow the towel in his hand as he begins to dry himself up, going from his abdomen before they travel down to the dark trail of hair that leads to—

You freeze and force your eyes back up, but the smile on his face tells you that you got caught—again.

“Like what you see?” His smile seems to grow wider at your expression.

You scowl. “In your dreams, Jung Hoseok.”

He leans down, face inches from yours, whispering, “If I remember correctly, that dream already came true…one year ago.”

Before you can say anything, he stands back up to his full height and brushes past you—his naked skin burning holes through your clothes. Once he’s a few steps away from you, you realize his friends were also there the whole time. Embarrassment burns your cheeks at what they might’ve thought, but their expressions remain too ambiguous for you to read as they follow their friend.

“I didn’t know you knew Hoseok.”

Your head whips towards Soyoung. “I don’t…I mean, not really. We just went to high school together.”

But your coworker doesn’t seem to buy it. “Really? I’ve been working here for a few summers and those guys have always been around, especially because Seokjin’s dad is the owner. I’ve tried to make small talk with them a few times, but they’re pretty intimidating.”

“They’re pricks,” you tell her. “Typical entitled rich boys.”

“I suppose so,” she hums, throwing the last towel into the bin. “Anyway, can I ask for another favor?”

All you can do is nod. “What?”

“I have another thing I have to do,” Soyoung starts, making you realize she works pretty hard here, “so, can you put these towels in the laundry room? You don’t have to start a load or anything; just leave them and one of the maids will wash them later.”

She slips the laundry room key into your pocket, telling you to give it back to her later, as she rushes off to her next task. Which leaves you to find the laundry room by yourself. After nearly ten minutes of searching, you find it tucked in a small hallway.

Opening the door, you push the dirty towel hamper into the room. You look around and see multiple washers, dryers, and a lot of storage shelves filled with miscellaneous items. You’re so caught up in looking around the room that you almost don’t hear the door close. At the sound of the lock clicking into place, you turn around; immediately, your heart starts beating faster.

“What are you doing in here?”

Hoseok leans against the door, no longer shirtless like before, and smirks at you. “I was following you.”

Like that’s not weird at all. “Stalker much?”

“Just wanted to know why you’ve been avoiding me, that’s all,” he pushes off the door, taking a step closer. You unconsciously take a step back, hitting the hamper.

“I haven’t been avoiding you,” you lie.

He just blinks at you. “You’re a bad liar, you know that?”

You’re shocked that he can read you so well. “Okay, so what if I am avoiding you? It’s not like you should care. Just leave me alone.”

For a brief moment, something passes over his eyes; but the emotion’s gone before you can think about it. “I don’t think I can do that.”

“What?” Now, it was your turn to blink rapidly.

Hoseok takes another step towards you, severing whatever distance there had been before. His arms move to cage you between himself and the dirty hamper. Slowly, he leans down, making sure not to move his eyes away from yours. “I can’t just leave you alone—not when you’re the only thing on my mind.”

“What are you trying to say—” his hand wrapping around your jaw shuts you up.

“To put it simply, I can’t stop thinking about you—about that night after graduation,” he says, eyes swirling with a darkness you know all too well.

“But that was a year ago,” you manage to say through clenched teeth, and he loosens his grip on you.

His signature smirk lights his lips. “So?”

“I was drunk,” you lie again. “I don’t even remember what happened.”

“So, you’re telling me you don’t remember this?” One hand curves around your hip. “Or this?” Another wraps around your waist. “Or this?” He plants his lips onto your jaw.

You release a harsh breath as the memories of that night come flooding back. Heat begins to pool in your stomach from his touch. As he peppers kisses along your jaw and down your neck, your hands move to fist his shirt. Just as a moan threatens to leave your throat, he pulls away.

Your lips part in indignation at the loss of touch, and Hoseok just smirks even wider. “I thought you said you don’t remember?”

“I’m going to kill you, Jung Hoseok,” your frustration is through the roof.

“Tell me you remember.”

Right now, there are two sides of you fighting. There’s one part of you that wants to tell Hoseok you don’t remember a single thing—that you really had been drinking graduation night. But there’s an even larger part of you that wants him so bad—to feel the same high you felt a year ago.

So, you settle with, “But I’m working right now.”

Hoseok’s eyes turn obsidian as his smirk drops. “I’ll be quick.”

He pulls you away from the hamper and pushes you, stomach first, against one of the washers. Suddenly, you realize what’s about to happen and you try to force the dopey smile off your face by biting your lip. In one swift motion, he unbuttons and pulls both your shorts and panties down to your ankles. By the sudden coolness below, you already know you’re soaking.

And Hoseok must realize this too because you feel him swipe a long finger over your folds. You instinctively jerk back, letting out a moan at the slight pressure. “Hoseok—”

“Fuck, y/n, you’re so wet for me already,” he groans, using a second finger against your wetness. He slowly rubs your clit and you can’t help but tighten your grip against the cool machine. “Wonder if you’ve been wet since we saw each other earlier.”

You roll your eyes. Typical, cocky Jung Hoseok. “Of course not, you douchebag.”

“I beg to differ,” he hums, inserting a single digit inside of you. “So tight—just like I remembered. Tell me, y/n, has anyone else had the pleasure to fuck your pretty pussy after me?”

His words cause you tense for a moment, before replying, “Yes, asshole. I went to college. What do you think?”

“I’m thinking that I’m about to fuck you so good,” he starts and finishes with a whisper, “that you won’t remember any of them.”

If you weren’t already turned on before, you were now. Hoseok continues to fuck with his finger, slowly adding a second one, edging you until you’re a panting mess before him. “S-Stop teasing—I thought you said you were going to be quick?”

“I will be,” he promises, and you can hear him pushing the waistband of his swim trunks down. You’re dying to see his cock again, so you turn and nearly drool at the sight of his angry red tip. For some reason, he looks bigger than you remember and that worries you a little. “What? Think it won’t fit?”

You raise your eyes to look at his, and he has the sexiest expression on his face you’ve ever seen. “No. It fit before, right?”

He licks his lips as he brings his cock close to your entrance, brushing his head back and forth against your clit. You turn back around, arching your back more in hopes that he’ll finally just stick it inside already. But before you can get too lost in the moment, you gasp.

“What’s wrong?” He actually sounds concerned.

“Do you have a condom?” you ask, facing him again. And by the pained expression on his face, he doesn’t. You let out a frustrated groan at getting all worked up for nothing. You’re about to reach down for your panties when he pushes you back into place. “What?”

“Are you on the pill?”

“Yes,” you answer, “but the pill is only—”

“I’ll pull out,” he says. “And I’m clean, I swear.”

You look into his eyes and seeing the desperation in them makes you want to indulge him. “I’m clean too.”

Hoseok breathes a sigh of relief. “Thank fucking god.”

“You better pull out, or I swear Jung—”

You fail to get the rest of your words out because he slams his cock into you. And you’re right—he is bigger than you remember. He bottoms out at your cervix and you feel like a mess already. You both moan at the feeling of being connected like this again, after so long, and Hoseok keeps his promise and wastes no time.

He thrusts into you hard and fast, leaving you to do nothing but take everything he has to give. “Fuck, Hoseok—oh my god.”

Earlier, he talked about fucking your past sexual exploits out of you, but there was no need to mention anything at all; no one compares to him. They never had a chance.

“Shit, you feel so good wrapped around me,” he groans, digging his fingers into your hips.

And soon enough, you feel your orgasm approaching. It’s slow building, but it’s there and you want it. You figure you’ll just chase it yourself. Reaching a hand down, you find your clit and begin rubbing it. But just as soon as you feel yourself get closer to the high you desire, your hand is ripped away.

There is a sudden weight on your back as Hoseok whispers in your ear, “That’s my job, sweetheart.”

His fingers find your sensitive nub and you come immediately, screaming a string of curses into your arms in hopes that no one hears you. As you ride your high, you feel him pull out. With a groan, his cum spills all over your ass.

As you try to catch your breath and calm your erratic heart, you feel Hoseok pull his shorts back up and take a step back. All of the sudden, a strange feeling builds up in your chest. Is this what loss feels like? But you don’t have much time to dwell on your own thoughts because you feel a towel wiping your body.

You turn and see Hoseok cleaning the mess he made; but instead of looking down, he’s looking right at you.

“What?” you ask, sounding defensive.

“Nothing,” he says, and you hate that you can’t read people well. You wish you could know what he’s thinking right now.

After he cleans between your thighs, you pull your clothes back up your body. You still have a few hours left of your shift, so you hope you don’t look too much like a mess right now. Pulling your hair into a low ponytail, you feel awkwardness hit you like a truck. What are you supposed to say now?

“Uh…I have to go,” you can’t even look at him. “We have a meeting this afternoon…”

You don’t have a meeting, but you don’t know what else to say. But unlike you, Hoseok can take a hint and nods. “I’ll leave first…see you around…and thanks.”

He stares at you for a moment longer before leaving the room. You look out to make sure he’s a considerable distance away before you follow, ducking into the bathroom to check your appearance. Once you look into the mirror, you barely recognize the person you’re seeing.

The girl in front of you has flushed cheeks and sweaty hair.

You spend the rest of your shift daydreaming about what happened. In all honesty, your body aches in the best possible way. And even after your shift, once you get home and lay in your bed, you’re still thinking about everything.

Did you really willingly have sex with Jung Hoseok a second time? Once is a mistake, twice clearly means there was choice involved. What would your roomie say if she knew? You don’t plan on telling her—at least, not until you get back to school. If she knew you had succumbed to his charms this early in the summer, she’d chew you out for sure. Besides, you won’t let it happen again.

There will be no more slip ups this summer.

***

“Oh, fuck—yes. Right there…!”

You cling to the shelf as Hoseok fucks you from behind. Your legs feel impossibly weak from being in such an uncomfortable position, but you couldn’t care less right now—you just want to come.

“Don’t be so loud, sweetheart,” he groans through clenched teeth. “Don’t want to get caught now, do we?”

“N-No…but if you d-don’t make me c-come quicker, Hoseok…” you moan, and he proceeds to thrust faster. You don’t want to scream, but it just feels so fucking good for you not to. “I’m going to—”

Hoseok clamps a hand over your mouth as you come undone. Your eyes shut on their own accord as you scream into his hand, body shaking from the impact of your orgasm. He curses, probably from how tight you’re gripping his cock, but continues to thrust a few more times before pulling out and painting you in strings of milky white.

Once your body shops shaking, he pulls you up and presses a kiss onto your exposed shoulder. “You’re amazing.”

You can’t help but smile a little. “Thanks.”

The two of you quickly clean up and readjust your clothes. You’re supposed to be organizing after all—at the place you are working at for the summer—not fucking an old high school classmate. Hoseok leaves with a promise of finding you later, and you’re left alone with your thoughts again.

What just happened?

You really did mean it when you said that you didn’t want to have sex with Hoseok again, but here you are anyway. It’s already been a month since the first incident, and you’ve been sneaking quickies around the entire country club with Hoseok.

Every time you think you’re alone, he manages to find you and that infuriating smirk makes you helpless. You’ve lost track of how many times he’s already managed to make your panties drop. But even though he seeks you out for sex, every now and then he sticks around to have a conversation with you.

You feel your resolve crumbling away every time you get a glimpse of the human Hoseok.

“So, what are you studying in school?” he asked one day, settling beside you on the floor of the laundry room.

“Is it bad that I’m undecided?” You tried to laugh it off, but the sober expression on his face stopped you.

He shook his head. “No, you have time.”

And just like, all felt okay in the world.

“What about you?” you managed to ask.

The scrunch of his nose had been nearly undetectable, but you noticed it. “Business. My father wants me to take over the company one day.”

“And you don’t?” the question slipped past your lips without a second thought. You’d been horrified.

“I don’t mind business, but I don’t want my father’s. I’d rather start my own.”

This truth had been rather insightful, and you couldn’t help but change the way you looked at Hoseok—only a little though. You still thought he was an asshole.

After another moment pondering your idiocy, you go back to whatever you were doing before. Just as you place the last shampoo bottle on the rack, a knock sounds on the door. You jump, wondering if it’s Hoseok again; but when it opens, it’s just Soyoung. “Hey—you’ve been in here for a while. Almost done?”

If only she knew.

“Uh, yeah. Actually, just finished,” you try to smile. “Got a little distracted in here, I guess.” A little more than distracted.

Soyoung offers an understanding expression. “Feel that. These storage rooms can be a bit overwhelming.”

“Did you need something?” you ask, changing the conversation.

“I actually bring word from our manager. You don’t work tomorrow night, right?” Tomorrow is Saturday and one of the few days you actually have off this week. You’re dreading what Soyoung is about to tell you. “She asked if you could come in for a few hours—just to help with dinner. They’re expecting a big crowd tomorrow night since there’s a fundraiser happening during the day. It’ll be like three hours max.”

You think about it for a moment, rolling your lips between your teeth. Honestly, you don’t want to come in on your day off—who wants to work when they don’t have to—but three hours doesn’t sound so bad.

“Just three hours?”

Soyoung nods. “Just three hours. I’ll be helping with the dinner too, so we’ll get to work together. And afterwards, we can go to a party, if you want.”

That piques your interest, even though you aren’t one to go out often. “What party?”

“There’s a few houses on this property—they’re rented out to people who want to stay at the country club for an extended amount of time. And I heard from some of the other employees that a party is being hosted at one of the houses. Anyone and everyone is invited—even us.”

For some reason, you actually want to go to this party. Why? Maybe you just want to forget about Jung Hoseok’s charismatic smirk. A party should be a good distraction. So, you tell Soyoung that you’ll come work tomorrow and attend the party with her.

And the girl gives you hug, promising that it’ll be loads of fun.

You hope she’s right.

***

The next night, you arrive to work in a different version of your uniform. Instead of the usual polo and shorts the country club has you normally donned in, you’re wearing a long sleeve button up and black slacks. In your bag, you brought a change of clothes for later. Thankfully, you remembered to grab it on your way out. Imagine having to wear your server uniform to a party.

That would’ve been a social suicide.

You meet up with Soyoung for a few minutes before the dinner staff collects you all together. They debrief about tonight’s expectations and everyone’s roles. Next, they list all the jobs and when they call your name, you find out you’re going to be taking orders.

“Do I also need to bring the food out?” you ask.

One of the leaders shakes their head. “No, we’ll have people specifically there for that.”

After all the roles are established, dinner officially begins and you try not to look dumbstruck when you walk into the formal dining hall. This is the first time you’ve been in this room and it’s absolutely magnificent. You continue staring around for a moment before walking towards your section of the room—a row of tables by the window overlooking the setting sun.

You proceed taking orders from the first table—a family of four—and then the next—a group of six—before walking to a table that only seats two people. Probably a date. You barely look at the couple as you push a strand of loose hair behind your ear and pull out the notepad.

“Can I take your orders?” you ask, click your pen.

“Yes,” says a nasally voice to your right. You follow it, meeting the profile of a gorgeous girl. Long, silky hair drapes down her back in waterfalls and she’s wearing a tight pink dress. You think that she’ll turn her attention to you, but she doesn’t; she keeps staring at her date. “I’ll have the ratatouille. What about you, Hobi?”

Hobi? “I told you not to call me that, Nina.”

She pouts. “But you let me call you that when we were kids.”

“Yeah, we were kids then.”

You spare a look at Nina’s date and nearly falter when you realize who this Hobi is. It’s none other than Jung Hoseok himself. He’s wearing a fitted charcoal suit, hair slicked back slightly. Even from this view, you can tell his suit is expensive; definitely imported and tailored fitted to his body. Still, you can feel yourself salivating. The man looks like absolute sin, and you feel a sudden flash of jealousy because he’s on a date with someone else—someone he seems to know pretty well.

But you realize you have no right to feel that emotion at all. He’s not yours to have. You both just happen to be sexually compatible. That is all. You two never talked about being exclusive. He is allowed to see other girls, even though the thought makes you feel a little sick.

Hoseok brings his eyes to yours, flashing you a smirk that has your knees weak. “Y/n.”

“You two know each other?” Nina asks, but your eyes don’t move from his.

“A little,” he says. That’s an understatement.

“We just went to high school together,” you add, playing along with his little game. “We weren’t friends though, just happened to be in a few classes together.”

Hoseok feigns hurt, bringing a hand up to his chest. “Can’t believe you think so little of me.”

“Oh, Hobi,” Nina interjects, her hand finding his on top of the table. You zone in on the touch, blood pressure rising when you realize he hasn’t pushed her away.

You try not to roll your eyes. “Yes, poor Hobi.”

When you turn back to him, he’s already looking at you. You stiffen for a second, wondering if his eyes have been on you this whole time. And by the scathing sensation you feel on the side of your head—Nina’s eyes, no doubt—you realize he probably has. “Um. Anyway, what did you want?”

He smirks again. “I’ll have the same, y/n.”

You quickly jot it down and excuse yourself before you start thinking too much.

The rest of your short shift, you make sure not to walk by Hoseok’s table again. Whenever you’re around him, you can’t think properly. He always seems to cloud your best judgment, which is why you’ve already been fucking him this summer. You allow work to consume you, which makes the time fly by. Before you know it, the three hours is already up and you’re headed to the bathroom with Soyoung.

“See? Wasn’t that bad, huh?” she asks from the cubicle beside you.

It was terrible. “Could’ve been worse, I guess.”

“I’m so excited about the party,” Soyoung changes the conversation. “It’s been so long since I’ve had a night out.”

You can’t help the next words that bubble out of you. “Why do you overwork yourself?”

Honestly, you didn’t mean to ask. After all, it isn’t your business to ask such questions anyway. Sure, you were curious about Soyoung but it’s not your place. You’ve been really testing boundaries recently.

“It just kind of happens,” she answers, which shocks you. Not the answer itself, but the fact that she even answered you at all. “I’ve been working here for so long, I guess I just can’t help it.”

“Well,” you sigh, “don’t overwork yourself. Live a little, you know.”

Soyoung laughs. “I’ll try.”

You step out of the stall first, moving to stand in front of the full-length mirror. Tonight, you opted for a flowy crop top and tight skirt. Not something you’d usually wear, but tonight’s different than most nights—you want to enjoy yourself. You pull your hair out of its tight pony, humming in pleasure at the sensation of your hair being free.

“Okay, I see you with the sexy hair.”

You didn’t even hear Soyoung’s stall unlocking or opening. Turning in her direction, you see she’s wearing something similar to you. Only, both her top and skirt are flowy. “More like messy hair.”

She laughs. “It looks good still.”

After running a hand through your hair a few times, and fixing your makeup, the two of you throw your bags into your respective vehicles and walk across the country club’s property. Not even five minutes later, you can hear music playing. Across the distance, you can see a massive house—no, villa—lit up with lights and people all over the place.

“Woah,” you breathe.

“Right?” Soyoung chuckles. “I told you this party was going to be it.”

“I thought you said it was going to be a house party.”

“It is?” She seems confused.

You shake your head. “Are all the houses on the country club property this big?”

Even in the dim lighting, you can see her nod. “I think so. Maybe not this big, but they’re all large enough to house multiple people.”

Damn. You wonder who’s renting this place for the summer. It’s huge, so there must be more than one person; maybe a family? Though, that seems odd since a party filled with young people is happening right now. However, you can’t even begin to fathom how much it costs to rent. How can anyone actually afford that?

But all thoughts of money fade when you actually reach the villa. You assume there’s mainly college-aged people here, though it’s difficult to tell age these days. Soyoung leads the way as you two maneuver past groups of people and into the villa itself. Once inside, you have to force yourself not to gawk at everything.

Grand doesn’t even begin to describe the interior. There’s so much to look at and before you can even begin to look at everything, Soyoung pulls you away. She finds the kitchen and hands you a drink from the cooler. You remove the lid and begin sipping, tasting the slight bitterness of alcohol on your tongue.

“So what do we do now?” You’re acting like such a noob.

Soyoung slants a look at you. “We mingle, maybe dance a little. Do you like dancing?”

You bite the inside of your lip. “Umm, kind of?”

Of course, you’ve been to your fair share of college parties—where dancing and drinking do not mix well. But you don’t mind it; you just don’t think you’re very good. You voice this thought out loud and Soyoung rolls her eyes.

“You don’t have to be good at dancing. You just have to do it. Usually, it comes naturally.”

You aren’t too sure about that statement. But as Soyoung pulls you in a new direction, away from the kitchen, you realize that you have no choice. In another large room adjacent to the kitchen, someone has started a makeshift dancefloor. The bass is booming against the wall and strobe lights illuminate the room.

Even though you’re struggling, Soyoung pulls you both into the middle of the room and spins you around to the music. “I can’t.”

“Sure you can,” she shouts over the music, proceeding to move her body dramatically. You can’t help but laugh. Shaking your head, you realize dancing really isn’t a big deal and you allow Soyoung to move you to the beat. And eventually, you can do it by yourself.

You close your eyes as you sway to the music, occasionally bumping into Soyoung on purpose. It even gets to the point where you feel comfortable enough to lift your arms into the air, which is something you’d never thought you’d do.

It’s not until a few songs later that you finally open your eyes. And when you do, you immediately meet his gaze.

A jolt of electricity goes up your spine at the look Jung Hoseok is giving you right now. He’s leaning against the fireplace in the room across from you, changed out of that expensive suit he was wearing earlier. Now, he’s only wearing the white button up—sleeves rolled to his elbows—and a pair of navy-blue shorts. In his hand he nurses a beer, and that’s when you realize he’s still with that girl from earlier.

You try to keep your expression neutral as you stare at them; but by the way Hoseok’s hard gaze morphs into something smugger, you know you’re doing a bad job at concealing your feelings.

Dammit.

You quickly whisper something to Soyoung about needing some air as you look for the nearest exit. Unfortunately, you don’t know your way around the house. You meander around for a moment before you find a door that leads to the backyard. Breathing a sigh of relief, you open the door and walk into the cool summer night.

There’s a pathway of rocks that leads to the dock of a body of water—a body of water that you didn’t even know existed. You aren’t sure what to call it; a large pond? Whatever it is, you take the pathway until you reach the end of the dock. There, you settle on the edge and stare at the murky depths.

Bodies of water like this were unpredictable. You had no idea how deep it actually was. It could seem shallow, but in actuality be sixty feet deep. For a second, you consider dipping your toes in; however, you decide against it. Who knows what’s in there?

You allow the echoes of cicadas and other small insects to fill your senses. Eventually, you even lay down on the dock and close your eyes, trying not to think too much about—

“What are you doing?”

Your eyes flash open. And as they adjust to the night, you make out Hoseok’s infuriating perfect face. He’s leaning over you, and it pisses you off that he looks good even from this obscene angle. “Go away.”

“Well, aren’t you grumpy,” he hums. “It seemed like you were having a great time shaking you’re a—”

“Hoseok,” you breathe. “Leave me alone. I don’t want to play your stupid games right now.”

He cracks a rare half-smile. “Who said anything about playing games?”

When you don’t answer him, Hoseok’s smile falls and he frowns. You don’t care what else he has to say; you really meant it when you said you’re not in the mood for him right now. However, the boy doesn’t seem to take the hint like he usually does. Because he settles right beside you on the dock, laying down so he’s now eye-level with you.

“You’re insufferable,” you roll your eyes, shifting away from him.

“That’s what you like about me.”

“Who said I liked you?”

“I think your actions speak louder than you think,” he says, sounding awfully calm right now, which is very unlike him. You have no other choice but to look at him. And when you do, your breath gets caught in your throat. Even in the darkness, his eyes seem to sparkle as he looks at you—so fucking intently like he’s seeing you for the first time.

You don’t like it.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you force your eyes away, but his stare burns your skin anyway.

“You were jealous at dinner, weren’t you?”

The scoff that leaves your lips sounds beyond bitter. “No, of course not. Why would I be?”

“If you were jealous,” Hoseok begins, which makes your stomach churn, “don’t be.”

“Huh?” you ask, still not able to look at him.

“Don’t be,” he repeats. “Don’t be jealous of Nina.”

“I wasn’t jealous of—”

He cuts you off. “Don’t be jealous of her. She’s just a family friend.”

“But you two seem so close…”

Hoseok laughs. “I just entertain her because our parents have been friends forever. I’m pretty sure they want me to marry someone like her. I mean, she’s hot”—you suck in a breath— “but she’s not you.”

Your eyes finally give him and meet his, and he’s still staring at you. “What’s that supposed to mean.”

As you both look at each other, you expect him to say something. But he never does. Instead, he scoots a few inches closer to you—so close your noses are almost touching—and runs his fingers through your hair. Weaving his digits through your still messy hair, he pulls your head towards his and your lips meet.

And underneath the moonlight, you allow Hoseok to kiss you until your head is dizzy and you have no choice but to let him consume you again.

***

The next morning, you find yourself wrapped in pristine white sheets that feel like silk beneath your fingers. But that’s not the only thing you’re wrapped in. A heavy arm is slumped over your waist and the body heat emanating from him sets yourself ablaze.

Last night, after Hoseok bruised your mouth and skin with his lips at the dock, you asked him why he was at the party.

“This is my house,” he said so casually, like it wasn’t a big deal at all. Your eyes bulged out of their sockets. “Well, my house for the summer at least.”

“You’ve been here this whole time?”

He nodded. “Our actual house is in the city, and I hate driving back and forth so much—especially since I’m here with the guys nearly every day. So, my parents decided to rent this.”

You didn’t know what to say. But you realized there was nothing that needed to be said because since this is where he was staying, it meant his bedroom was here too. You let him walk you back to the villa and up the stairs into his room, to which you had to text Soyoung and let her know you were headed home early. A lie. You told her you felt sick. Another lie. But she didn’t seem to mind. She had found a few other employees of the country club there and would walk back with them.

After losing track of how many orgasms he gave you, youth both shared a bottle of vodka he had stashed underneath his bed. And tipsy you had no inhibitions.

Every question Hoseok asked, you answered honestly.

“Favorite color?”

“Red.”

“Do you like working at the country club?”

“It’s a job.”

“If you could do anything in the world, what would it be?”

“Spend my life away on some island.”

He laughed. “Really?”

“Island life s-seems fun. It’s relaxing. You don’t have to worry about anything,” you slightly slurred your words. “You?”

“I think island life seems to be the move now.”

You both talked so much. About anything and everything. It reminded you so much of the first time you really spoke to him. Moments like this made Hoseok feel normal, which you don’t know how to feel about yet.

But one thing you realized you did enjoy was his laugh—his real laugh. Not the one he smirked with, but the one he gave when he thought no one else was watching.

You must’ve said something stupid—you honestly can’t recall it now—but when he doubled over in laughter, it was infectious.

The good thing is that you don’t have work today, which means you don’t have to rush anywhere. But you have a feeling that you’ve overstayed your welcome. You didn’t even mean to stay the night, but you’d been so comfortable in Hoseok’s bed that you fell asleep after all the conversations. It was probably the best sleep you’ve ever had.

You’re going to give the credit to Hoseok’s expensive mattress, and definitely not him.

Though, you can’t deny how good it feels to have him spooning you. A part of you wants to stay in this bed forever, but that’s crazy talk—you shouldn’t have come into the bed with him at all. You keep telling yourself—over and over again—that you don’t want to fuck him again.

But you’ve been such a liar.

Now, you’ve accepted the fact that you can’t resist him. You know it’s just sex, but you didn’t want to get involved with him in the first place.

You take in a few breaths as you try to move his arm off of you. Hoseok shifts a little, and you risk a look over your shoulder. When your eyes take in his face, your heart stutters for a moment. With his mouth slightly parted and eyes still firmly closed, you realize that he looks so peaceful asleep. So vulnerable. You have to force yourself from touching him.

What the fuck, y/n?

Turning back around, you gently pry his arm off of you and pray that you don’t wake him. But all your careful maneuvering proves to be futile because his arm releases from your grip and moves back down to your waist. With a squeal, Hoseok pulls you back on his chest.

“Where do you think you’re going?” God, his morning voice is so hot.

“Um, leaving?” you sound like an idiot.

“Stay,” he breathes against the back of your head.

You want to. You really, really want to. “I can’t.”

“Why not?” he asks, snaking his arms underneath the covers to find you—skin still bare from last night’s activities. Your breath hitches as his fingers trail across your skin, each touch feeling like sparks.

“I-I have somewhere I have to be,” you stutter as his rough hand wraps around one of your breasts, squeezing tight. Your nipple hardens immediately.

Hoseok slips the covers off your body, exposing you to the cool air-conditioned room. And without warning, he moves on top of you and begins trailing his lips over your body. You notice that he makes sure to suck those bruises he left scattered across your skin extra hard, purpling them even more.

“Hoseok,” you try not to moan. “I really have t-to—”

His lips crashing onto yours shuts you up. You kiss him back forcefully, nipping his lips with your teeth and running your tongue across his. As you two battle it out, he settles in-between your thighs. Bringing a hand down your abdomen, it slides straight to your cunt—which is already drenched.

He hisses against your lips. “So fucking wet. Thought you had to go?”

“Shut up,” you moan as he runs a finger from your ass to your clit, swirling your juices everywhere. Involuntarily, your hips buck up when he slides a finger inside of you. He gently fucks you like that for a moment, leaving you writhing underneath him. “More, Hoseok—I need more.”

A wicked smile erupts on his face. “Are you going to beg for it?”

An incredulous expression lights your face. You’ve never begged in bed before, and you aren’t going to start now. However, the man on top of you is sure getting a kick out of this. Hoseok moves his finger slowly out of you, which agitates you to no end. If you weren’t so horny right now, you’d kill him.

“No,” you narrow your eyes, not willing to give in.

His finger stops moving. “A shame, really.”

You freeze. “What the fuck, Jung Hoseok?”

“I’m not doing anything until you say please,” he smirks, moving his upper body away from you.

Even though you’re pissed, you can’t help but drink in the Adonis in front of you. Like you, Hoseok is completely naked. Your eyes rake his defined muscles and his thick cock that’s already unbelievably hard. He’s hard for you. The fact that you turn him on makes you feel good—too good.

“Fine,” you shrug, and his smirk falls. “Just get blue balls then.”

As his body goes slack for a moment, you use the opportunity to slip from the bed. But you don’t manage to get very far at all. You probably only take three steps before his arm wraps around you and pulls you back to the bed.

You fall on your back, and Hoseok pins your arms on either side to keep you from moving. Still, you squirm—heart drumming in your chest at the look on his face. His eyes have turned black, and he looks like he wants to devour you. “I’m not begging.”

“We’ll see about that.”

With your arms still pinned, Hoseok lowers his body and your legs spread on their own accord. Fuck you, body. The movement makes him chuckle darkly and he begins peppering kisses along your thigh. Your breath hitches in your throat, which turns into a gasp when he suddenly bites down on your flesh. Not hard enough to draw blood, but it’s enough to be painful.

And as much as you hate to admit it, you like it very much.

Hoseok continues alternating between kissing and biting your thighs until you’re one-hundred-percent positive there is a pool of your wetness on the bed. You know what he’s trying to do and it’s working, but you don’t want to give in. And then he’s so close to your pussy, not even an inch away. You can feel his breath fanning you there. If you just move your hips a little…

“Don’t even think about it,” he moves his head away.

You release a groan of frustration. “Oh my god.”

“If you just say the magic word,” he taunts, lips now on your stomach. He moves low, but never low enough; never where you want him to go.

When he moves up your body, pressing chaste kisses on your nipples before latching his lips on your neck, you release a breathy moan. Hoseok lets out a groan from the back of his throat, hands tightening around your wrists. Fuck, why are the noises he makes even attractive? “Hoseok…”

“Y/n,” he’s still sucking on your neck.

This position, you realize, aligns him perfectly with your body. Again, if you were able to move just a little bit…but Hoseok’s weighing you down with his body, not allowing you to move at all.

“Hoseok,” you say his name again, but he doesn’t respond—he just moves his lips to your ear, nibbling on the sensitive flesh there. And that’s when you crumble. You can’t take it anymore. “Please…please just fuck me already.”

Simultaneously, he curses into your ear as he slides his cock into you. Too perfect—the way he fills you up is too perfect.

You expect Hoseok to fuck you hard, hips slamming into you, but he doesn’t. His thrusts are slow, but the way he hits your cervix has you nearly in tears. Fuck. He releases the hold on your wrists to grip onto either side of your face. With lips ghosting over yours, you tangle your hands into his dark hair.

Your breaths mesh together as he continues to fuck you with slow, measured thrusts. You’ve grown accustomed to the rough way Hoseok likes to fuck; but for some reason, you love this so much more. It’s intimate and makes your chest tighten in a strange way but feels so good you don’t want it to stop.

“Please,” you whisper against his lips again.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” he groans, rolling his hips in a way that has you arching off the bed. Yes.

“Just like t-that,” you say, slanting your mouth to mold against his again.

Your orgasm comes without warning; you moan into Hoseok’s mouth, gripping him closer to you and you ride your high. Through the haze of your earth-shattering orgasm, you hear Hoseok ask if he can come inside you. He’s always pulled out—even last night when he fucked you for hours. But right now you don’t care, and your answer comes in the form of your legs wrapping around his hips.

He kisses you hard and comes inside you a moment later. You’ve never let anyone else come raw inside of you; never trusted anyone else that much. And in that moment, a terrifying thought flashes across your mind.

I’m in love you.

The thought comes so suddenly, burns your brain so hotly, your body stills. Hoseok finally lifts off of you, eyes crinkling in concern. “You okay?”

You quickly try to shake the feeling away. “Um, yeah.”

“You sure? Should I not have come inside you?” he slips out of you, and for some reason you want to cry at the sudden emptiness you feel. “You’re looking pale right now.”

“No, it was fine,” you blink too fast, feeling tears begin to well in your eyes. Get a fucking grip on yourself. “I’m sorry, I really have to go.”

Hoseok doesn’t try to stop you this time when you move away from the bed. You find your clothes on the floor and slip everything back on without looking at him, even though you can feel his gaze on you the entire time. Not bothering to check your appearance, you grab your stuff and move towards his door.

“Y/n,” he calls your name, voice sounding strange, but you don’t want to look at him. If you look at him, you’re going to start crying. And that’s too embarrassing to explain.

You slip out of his bedroom and take the stairs two at a time. As you rush down, you run into someone. “Sorry—”

Looking up, you realize it’s Seokjin; he must’ve stayed the night. Even in your distress, you feel feverish wondering if you were too loud. However, he takes one look at you and stares like he has you all figured out. Your heart threatens to beat out of your chest.

“Did something happen…?” he asks, looking at the door you just left wide open upstairs.

“Don’t worry about it,” you quickly say, adverting your eyes and sidestepping him.

This morning, it’s much easier to find the front door. Just as you’re about to slip out, you hear your name being called again, heavy steps thundering down the stairs. Shit, shit, shit. You break into a run and don’t stop until you have no more air to spare in your lungs. Thankfully, you’re far enough from the villa and close to the country club.

Only then do you allow yourself to fall into the grass as the tears finally cascade down your cheeks.

You’re a fool, you realize. A fool to have fallen in love with someone like Jung Hoseok. Someone who will never feel the same way. Someone who just uses you for a good time. someone who you barely even know. Someone you never wanted to get involved with.

***

You call out of work the next week, claiming to have the stomach bug. But you don’t have the stomach bug; in fact, you’re not even physically ill at all. You just can’t bear the thought of running into Hoseok at the country club.

On the first day, you listen to your sad girl hours playlist on repeat.

During your second day of moping in bed, you half consider quitting your job. Would it be too cowardly? Maybe. Unfortunately, there’s only a few weeks left of summer and you doubt that you’ll be able to find another job.

When the third day arrives, you finally get out of bed and take a proper shower. You didn’t realize how much you needed it.

Your mom knocks on your door on the fourth day. You only know it’s her by the way she taps on your door rhythmically; she’s always done that ever since you were a child. When you don’t respond, she dares to crack the door open. Shit, you forgot to lock it last night.

“Are you feeling better, love?”

You don’t move on the bed, hoping your mother thinks you’re asleep or something. But despite you not moving, she still shuffles into your room and settles herself on the edge of the bed.

“Is this because I haven’t been spending time with you this summer?”

No, mom. It’s me. I fucked up. Although, I would appreciate it if you did spend time with me—like you dragged me here this summer to do.

“I’m really sorry, love,” she whispers, getting up after a moment.

Once you’re sure she’s by the door, you finally open your mouth. “It’s not because of you. It’s…something else.”

You hear her grab onto the door, but she doesn’t say another word before leaving you all alone again.

On the fifth day, the bruises that littered your skin finally start fading. Glancing into the mirror of your bathroom, you run your fingers along the—now greenish-yellow—hickies he left on your neck. Goodness, there were so many. And annoyingly enough, you can still feel exactly where he had touched you—like his hands are still there right now.

Pulling your t-shirt down, you see more evidence of Hoseok’s assault on your chest. You have to stop yourself from looking at the rest of your body.

The sixth day you, finally, spend time pondering that terrifying thought you had about Hoseok. Are you actually in love with him? Do you even know what love feels like? What even is love? You’ve always been an overthinker, and these questions only make your head spin more. But after hours and hours of teetering the files of your brain, you do know one thing.

You like him.

You like Hoseok a lot.

It might not be love—perhaps that had been your sex-brain talking—but you were definitely starting to fall for him. You don’t know when or where the change happened, or maybe you’ve always liked him, but it feels good to finally admit the truth to yourself.

Now, the real challenge was if you would tell him.

Would it be worth it?

***

“Y/n, I seriously thought you’d quit!”

Soyoung is the first person you run into on your first day back. You just thank god it’s her and not someone else. You flash her a quick smile and greeting. “Hey.”

“What happened to you?” she asks, walking beside you down the hall.

“Stomach bug,” the lie passes surprisingly easily through your lips. Good thing you had enough time to practice saying those words out loud.

Soyoung makes a face. “That must’ve been awful, but I’m glad you’re well enough to be here.”

“Yeah, totally.”

She leaves you at the golf cart and you get into the seat with a sigh. Over the month and whatever weeks you’ve been here, driving the cart now feels like second nature. You no longer bump into displays or people.

As you drive around the green, you make a stop at every hole and offer the players drinks. At the beginning of summer, you’d been a little apprehensive about this job. However, it turns out, working as the drink cart girl isn’t half bad. The tips you make are worth being out in the scorching summer sun.

Towards the end of your round, you feel your nerves twist. You’re relieved that you haven’t seen Hoseok; then again, a part of you is worried. Why isn’t he here? He’s always here. Every single time you’ve driven on the range, he’s been here.

Where is he today?

Soon, you realize that you didn’t need to worry at all.

At the last hole, you see him—well, them. Hoseok, Seokjin, Namjoon, and Jeongguk are together, like they always seem to be. Inseparable. For a second, you think about skipping them, but then you overhear their conversation.

“Damn, Hoseok,” Jeongguk whistles, leaning against his club, “this is the worst game you’ve ever played.”

“He played worse than Namjoon,” Seokjin snickers.

Namjoon narrows his eyes. “I’m not that bad.”

“You lack coordination,” Seokjin explains to his friend, as if that was supposed to make the burn better. “And Hoseok usually always wins.”

“Now that I’m thinking about it, he hasn’t played well all week,” Jeongguk twists his lips.

“Dude probably hasn’t had ass in a week,” Namjoon comments.

“I’m right fucking here, assholes.”

You finally allow your eyes to settle on the man of the hour. Like his friends have suggested, he does seem off today. Normally, the Jung Hoseok you know is easy going, laid back. He’s usually cocky and charismatic. Every time you’ve seen him play golf, he’s amazing. He always swings with blind sureness—like he knows the ball will hit green. But the man you’re looking at right now is beyond tense and agitated.

“You’re no fun today,” Jeongguk pouts.

“He hasn’t been fun all week,” Seokjin rolls his eyes. “Not since the house party.”

Your hands stiffen on wheel. Hoseok’s been in a mood for a whole week? You try to find the answer to your own question in his eyes, but he hasn’t looked in your direction yet. In fact, none of them seem to realize you’re close. They all seem to be thrown off their usual balance. That obvious fact makes you realize you should probably just skip them. But as you lift your foot to press the gas pedal, Seokjin notices you.

Damn. Why is he always the first one to see you?

His eyes widen at your appearance. “Just the girl I was thinking about.”

That statement draws everyone else from their stupor and towards you. You watch as Jeongguk and Namjoon’s eyes also widen, but the only pairs of eyes you really care about right now can’t even meet yours. Hoseok shoots you a glance before twisting away, jaw hardened. Ouch. You feel a pang in your chest.

For some reason, his dismissal hurts more than anything else right now.

“Glad you finally arrived,” Seokjin continues talking, walking closer to you. “I was wondering when you’d come.”

It was weird to have Seokjin speak so much to you. The only person you ever really spoke to was Hoseok, but it seems like he’s the last person who wants to talk to you right now. Maybe coming into work was a bad idea.

“I think you should talk to him,” he says, and it was your turn to have wide eyes.

“I don’t know…” What could you even say to him? You don’t know where to begin because you don’t know what kind of relationship you have with Hoseok. Did you want a relationship with him? Did he even feel the same way?

“He’s been a fucking wreck all week because of you, you know?”

Your chest hurts. “Really?”

Seokjin nods. “I mean, the guy’s always a pain in the ass…” he rolls his eyes, “but it’s worse now.”

Maybe you hadn’t been the only one suffering this past week. As horrible as it sounds, the thought makes you feel…hopeful.

“We’ll take your cart back and cover for you, if you want.”

You stare at Seokjin and find yourself nodding. “Okay.”

He calls Jeongguk and Namjoon over, asking you to get out of the cart. “Don’t worry—we won’t steal your money.”

It’s a joke. You know it’s a joke. Still, you can’t help the next that slip past your lips unconsciously. “Like you all need it.”

The three of them laugh at you as they pile into the cart. Before you can say anything else, they drive off—leaving you alone with the one person you’re most nervous to speak to. He’s still turned away from you, staring off into the distance. You will your heart to stop racing as you wipe your sweaty hands on the back of your shorts.

Calm down.

You take a deep breath before you decide it’s now or never. Deciding it is time, you take the tentative steps towards Hoseok and run a million different scenarios in your head. What’s the worst thing that can happen? He tells you to fuck off and never speak to him again?

Nausea settles into your throat at the idea.

By the time you run another worst-case-scenario into your head, you’re just a few steps behind him. Closer to him now, you feel like you’re going to burst at the seams. You stare at his disheveled hair—like he’s been running a hand through it all day—and stiff body. Despite his rigid posture, he’s still the most handsome person you’ve ever seen.

You don’t know long you stand there and stare at Hoseok, but you don’t jolt out of your daze until you hear his voice.

“Are you just going to stare at me all day?”

“Oh, you’re—I mean, I—” you fumble with your words, nervously twitching your hands. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to talk.”

“It’s kind of hard to talk to someone who doesn’t even like me,” he says, finally turning to face you.

What? “Hoseok—”

“I know you hate me, so I won’t bother you again, if that’s what you wanted to talk about,” his voice is detached, and you realize you’ve never seen this side of him before. No wonder his friends were fed up with him. You would’ve been too. “Sorry if I annoyed you this summer.”

Without another word, he begins to walk away from you. What the hell is going on? You shake your head as you march up to him and grab onto his shirt. “Stop.”

“Y/n…”

“Hoseok, shut up!” You bring your eyes up to glare at him. “Just—just let me talk first, okay?”

His eyes are still cold, but you can see a bit of softness pool in them. “Fine.”

“You’re an idiot,” you breathe, dropping your fist and feeling something prick your vision. “I-I don’t hate you…I don’t hate you at all. And I don’t want you to stop bothering me. Yes, you’re annoying”—you feel him take a step away— “but I like it. I like you. I like you a lot, Hoseok. So much…I don’t even know—”

He stops your rambling with his lips. The kiss makes your heart soar and ache all at once because it feels so damn good—Hoseok feels so damn good. But it ends all too soon when he pulls away.

“I like you too.”

“Then why are you being so mean to me?” You feel an onslaught of tears flow down your cheeks.

Hoseok wipes a tear away with his thumb. “Because I thought you hated me.”

“Well, I don’t,” you sniffle.

“Then, why’d you leave?”

You know he’s talking about that morning. Do you tell him the truth? “Because I thought I was in love with you.”

“Love?” he chokes, and you feel a blush heat your face. “What made you think that?”

“Uh…it was just a sudden thought,” you awkwardly scratch the side of your face. “But I thought about it, and it’s not love…at least, not yet.”

You say that last part so quietly, you don’t think Hoseok even heard. However, the way his eyes gloss over for a moment lets you know that he did. You’re even more embarrassed now. You try to cover your face, but he grabs both of your hands before you can.

“Let’s take this one step at a time, yeah?” Look at him being the rational one here.

You nod, agreeing with him. “So, we like each other.”

“We do,” he says, suddenly pulling you closer to him. Your body hums being so close to him. Being close like this, you’re able to wrap your arms around him and does the same—hand moving to the back of your neck to tilt your head back. At this angle, you’re exposed to him.

“So, what are we?” you dared to ask the question.

Hoseok ghosts his lips over you. “I don’t like sharing.”

Butterflies erupt in your stomach. “I haven’t been with anyone else this summer.”

It’s the truth. You haven’t even looked twice at anyone else. You haven’t desired anyone else. You don’t think you ever can again. Jung Hoseok has ruined you.

“Me either.”

“You and Nina—”

“We’re just family friends, remember?” he cuts you off.

“She clearly likes you.”

“Well, she’s not you. I’ve told you that before.”

He did. And, for some reason, you believed him.

“So, what are we?” you ask again, looking up at Hoseok to gauge what he’s going to say. He stares down at you for a moment before that smirk you know all too well graces his lips. As irritating as it is, you’ve missed it.

“We’re dating,” his eyes sparkle, before dimming a little. “If you’ll have me.”

Warmth pools in your stomach as you nod. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

[0gasstationcoffee]

LWA rewatch episode 23

·      Oh lordy the last three episodes LEGGO

·      This is the one with Chariot backstory

·      Also like how the episode before is called “Things we said today” and this one is “yesterday” showing how we’re going back in time

·      Starts off with Lotte and Sucy going to Diana cuz Akko is missing

·      Lotte is so concerned oh baby girl

·      Diana comforting her with a kind smile on her face, how sweet

·      “I think it would be best if we first inform Professor Ursula.” SHE WOULD BE THE FIRST PERSON TO INFORM IF HER DAUGHTER WAS MISSING YES BUT TODAY IS DIFFERENT

·      Diana volunteering to go to Ursula cuz she knows the truth

·      Lotte sees that it’s snowing and gets more worried PROTECT LOTTE AT ALL COSTS PLEASE WORLD

·      CHARIOT BACKSTORY CHARIOT BACKSTORY

·      WITH BABY ARCAS OMG THAT IS SO CUTE

·      “Since I was a child, I had a dream. To become a witch that would make everyone smile.”

·      Don’t even get me started at how adorable baby Chariot is. Baby Arcas too

·      ALSO WHY IS SHE SO LITTLE AND AT LUNA NOVA WHY

·      IS THIS WHERE THE THEORIES THAT CHARIOT WAS AN ORPHAN AND RAISED AT LUNA NOVA COME FROM???

·      So she always had a talent for illusion magic

·      “I wanted it more than anything. Even so, my abilities were less than stellar.

·      Young Croix: Believing in yourself is your magic. GODDAMMIT CROIX

·      “No matter how many times I failed, my dream to fill people’s hearts with excitement and joy kept me going. Eventually, a Rod with seven stars appeared before me. I was told that once the seven words were revived, one would have access to the powerful world altering magic. Surely, magic like that could make everyone happy. With guidance from Professor Woodward, I began my search for the seven words.”

·      Oh man and young Croix just looking on in envy

·      “I was able to find and revive six of the seven words. However the last word eluded my grasp. I thought, if I hoped with all of my heart to make everyone smile, perhaps that would be enough to revive the seventh word. Believing in yourself is your magic.”

·      SHE JUST WANTED TO MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY THAT WAS ALL

·      SHE JUST WANTED PEOPLE TO SMILE

·      I REMEMBER SORT OF WHAT THE SEVENTH WORD IS AND I THINK IT’S VERY IMPORTANT AND SYMBOLIC ON WHY CHARIOT COULDN’T GRASP IT BUT AKKO COULD WITH CHARIOT.

·      Older, kind of sleazy looking dude approaching a teenage girl to make her a star I AM DISCOMFORT

·      Also Croix fucking wearing a red cape as a teacher, goddammit

·      “I wanted to make more and more people happy. I toured all over the world. Eventually, negative comments began to emerge.”

·      Negativity on social media is such a big part of this show, it’s hella interesting. The traditional witches at Luna Nova can deny it all they want but technology and social media have become a part of their lives and with it, the toxicity of the internet

·      Chariot getting upset looking at the comments DON’T HURT HER

·      “You gotta make your magic acts more entertaining.” HUSH MR MANAGER

·      So this is literally while she’s still at Luna Nova?????? Holy shit

·      Also speaking of how young Chariot still is while she’s performing (she’s still in school!) it makes her manager extra sleazy given how revealing Shiny Chariot’s outfit is. Granted it’s an awesome fucking outfit but I dislike very much this older dude managing a teenage girl and having her outfit being almost corset like while revealing a lot of cleavage and having a very short skirt

·      Is this why we see Ursula in a lot of track suits later on? Is she not only trying to blend in better but she doesn’t want to feel that exposed anymore?

·      In lighter news, Akko absolute wears her skirt so short because Shiny Chariot did as well

·      “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” “Croix!” Ah okay so this is Chariot’s senior year then if she hasn’t seen Croix in a minute. Croix must have graduated

·      Also sad how they were so close, so so close and drifted apart because of the Shiny Rod

·      “I’m trying to find a new type of magic, something nobody’s seen before.” Oh baby girl

·      Croix: Well there’s something I’ve been researching that you might find useful. But it’s still in the early stages of development. It’s called Dream Fuel Spirit. It converts the energy of dreams into magical power. By using it, you could boost your magic power and put on more extravagant shows.

·      No mention of what it would do to the audience huh Croix

·      Of course Chariot would agree, this is her Croix. And it’ll help her fulfil her dream of making people happy, which is what she thinks will help her get the seventh word? Of course she’d do it

·      “And so, my act reached new heights.” God her shows were so fucking cool

·      Oh no they’re in the dressing room, is it heartbreaking reveal #2 time?

·      Chariot is so happy my poor baby has no idea what’s coming

·      “Did you see all the smiles on those faces out there?!” She just…she’s so pure

·      Also there has to be such a deep inner sadness in her that all she wants to do is make people laugh.

·      “That was amazing! So much unbridled power. There’s no doubt in my mind this will help put the magic world back on top where it belongs.”

·      Oh Shiny Chariot also wears a choker necklace like Ursula

·      “When you compare it to everything people stand to gain from this, the sacrifices are worth it.” BUT CROIX YOU MADE CHARIOT AN UNKNOWING TOOL IN THIS AND THERE WAS DEFINITELY ANOTHER WAY

·      “Sacrifices?” Chariot baby

·      “Dream Fuel Spirit operates by stealing the energy of dreams and converting it to magic power.” “Wait a minute, you never told me it stole them!”

·      “Didn’t I?” CROIX YOU ASSHOLE “Well, it’s of little consequence.” NO IT AINT

·      “But if that’s true, what happens to all of those people?” Oh god Chariot’s heart is breaking and you don’t know if it’s because Croix tricked her or because of what she unwittingly did

·      “They simply lose a fraction of their magic talent, that’s all. Ordinary people have no use for that talent to begin with. So they won’t miss it. Now I will say, if someone from a witch’s family were there, then it might be a problem. Though I sincerely doubt anyone like that would be attending a performance of this nature.” Croix just likes to launch as many heartbreaks as she can at Chariot

·      “You lied to me Croix. Tell me, why on Earth would you do this? If that’s the price to pay, then I don’t want it.” “Even if it grants you power? You naïve little girl! It’s because of that idealistic attitude that you can’t find the last word! You have a sacred duty to uphold and that’s to obtain the world altering magic yet here you are, wasting all your time on this stupid show! Just what are you thinking?” “You’re scaring me.”

·      Nevermind NOW she’s lobbing as many heartbreaks as she can at Chariot good grief

·      Chariot saying she doesn’t want to use that magic even if it helps her achieve her dreams is exactly like Akko saying at the beginning of the show that she doesn’t want to burden others while she tries to reach her goal of being like Chariot

·      Sorry just had to get that out there before diving in

·      Croix you are also so fucking wrong

·      Akko was able to unlock so many words in a few months time BECAUSE she had Chariot guiding her, even if she didn’t know it. Chariot did not have the benefit of having the Rod’s previous owner helping her. She still managed to find 6 of the words and thought she could unlock the seventh word by making people happy!!!

·      It’s Chariot and Akko’s believing hearts that let them fully breathe life into the words

·      Also what hurts the worst is Croix saying all of these things and backing Chariot into a corner and all Chariot can say it “You’re scaring me.”

·      Also is this confirming that the Dream Fuel Spirit was only used once? That is absolutely Akko’s luck

·      “Why’d you call it the Shiny Rod? How idiotically childish. Do you really think the [proper Shiny Rod name] chose you so it could be used for such a juvenile display? Why? Why did it choose you and not me?”

·      I know this is entirely beside the point but it really does look like Chariot is standing there in lingerie in front of Croix and I managed to pause it on the funniest screencap of Chariot in her revealing clothes and Croix just staring down directly at her boobs

·      “I don’t know the answer to that. I just know that I want to use magic to make everyone happy. That’s all I know how to do.” Shoot me in the foot it would hurt less

·      “You really don’t get it. A show like this will fade away and be forgotten. Just like the fate of magic in this world.” It won’t be forgotten by those who genuinely love magic, like Akko and Diana

·      “I can’t help you any longer, I need to follow my own path. Goodbye.”

·      So that was their last meeting huh. Ouch

·      “After that, I refused to use the Dream Fuel Spirit ever again.” She’s so good

·      It breaks my heart watching her look at people not paying attention during her show

·      “Is it true, will magic be forgotten?” CHARIOT’S NOT EVEN WORRIED ABOUT HERSELF, SHE’S WORRIED ABOUT MAGIC

·      Oh there’s Croix attending one of the shows, I wonder if Chariot knows?

·      Oh man the people in the audience being so ungrateful, of course she’s gonna snap

·      Chariot casting the spell and Croix saying “That’s amazing!” Had she not seen that spell before?

·      OH HERE WE GO SHE’S GONNA SHOOT THE MOON

·      Not gonna lie I do think that’s fucking hilarious

·      Good lord how STRONG must that spell have been for her to blast a hole in the moon

·      I mean we know Chariot is strong from everything we’ve seen but GDAMN

·      Well at least Croix is doing something good “I have to erase their memories!” As much as she tries to convince herself she doesn’t care about Chariot, she still helps her not get into trouble and goes chasing after her when Chariot falls at Wagandea

·      It’s just…buried underneath a lot of bad actions too

·      And the Rod just withers away as Chariot looks at the moon in horror

·      Speaking of, it’s interesting that Croix was never able to touch the Rod but even after Chariot uses it to blow a hole in the moon and loses it, she can still hold it in the future

·      And here we are, back in the present with Chariot of course staring at the moon

·      Diana going to Ursula’s to tell her Akko is missing

·      Diana: no one has seen Akko since she went into town. Chariot: pikachu gasp

·      “Do you know anything?” Oh lord Diana get ready for storytime

·      Chariot saying “I’m so sorry” and Diana not knowing she’s apologizing because of Akko

·      Gosh she’s so sad here

·      Diana wants to finish their talk from earlier and Chariot’s like “Sorry I’m busy” Yeah too busy drowning in self hatred and guilt

·      “I know there’s no record of a student here names Ursula Callistis.” Diana just cutting through the BS and getting to the point, love that

·      “Your real name is Chariot Du Nord.” I do wonder how Diana figured that out. Realizing there is no Ursula is one thing but putting together who she actually is, I wanna know how she researched that

·      “You’re Shiny Chariot.” “I am.”

·      “And you were with her earlier? Please tell me what happened!” I’m glad it was Diana who went to visit her because it’s a big deal for her too to meet Shiny Chariot

·      Oh so she tells Diana the whole story???

·      “It really upset Akko when I told her everything.” I hope she at least told Diana she didn’t know what the Dream Fuel Spirit would do

·      Diana’s upset because Chariot didn’t go chase after Akko

·      I totally get it and I’d be upset if I were Diana too but it also wasn’t a conversation between Chariot and Akko that Akko ran out on, it was a big fucking confrontation that was probably traumatic for both Akko and Chariot

·      “I’m sorry, I can’t be of any help to her now.” She’s just given up hasn’t she? She thinks Akko is better off without her

·      Of course Diana’s pissed

·      “I’m sure that she needs you now more than ever!” Listen to her Chariot SHE’S RIGHT

·      “I can’t, I have to take care of other matters right now.” “ You want me to believe that something could possibly be more important than Akko right now?” You go Diana!

·      It’s so sad because Akko is so important to Chariot and Chariot thinks the best thing she can do for Akko is to stay away from her. But Diana knows the truth is the exact opposite and can’t believe Chariot can’t see that

·      I’m also guessing the other matters Chariot has to take care of is stopping Croix or die trying

·      “I’m disappointed in you. Not about who you were then but who you are now.” OUCH DIANA I mean I understand BUT YOU ALSO DON’T KNOW HOW TRAUMATIC THAT ROOF SCENE WAS

·      But true Chariot you gotta go find your kid

·      Chariot takes off her glasses

·      “Please, take care of her for me.”

·      YALL THAT WAS THE SADDEST THING I EVER HEARD

·      IS CHARIOT ACTUALLY GONNA DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO STOP CROIX, INCLUDING DIE, CUZ I WAS KIDDING BEFORE CHARIOT BABY DON’T DO IT

·      Akko and Chariot are having real shit nights I gotta say

·      Green team showing up for their friend!!!

·      Jasminka not eating that’s how you know it’s serious

·      Lotte: Did you find anything out? Diana: Storytime part 2

·      Amanda: The reason Akko can’t fly is Chariot’s fault? THAT’S NOT ENTIRELY TRUE THOOOO

·      Sucy: The way Akko loves Chariot she must have taken that really hard. SUCY

·      Amanda: you gotta wonder if she’s even gonna come back. I MEAN SHE IS JUST OUT THERE GETTING FROSTBITE SO

·      POOR LOTTE BABY she cares about Akko SO MUCH

·      Sucy: There’s something I don’t get, how does Ursula know about all this? Of the red team, Sucy was always the one asking how Ursula got all this information about Chariot

·      Oh so Diana doesn’t tell them??? She at least knows this is a huge secret for Chariot

·      Everyone making their plans to find Akko, she has good friends

·      SUCY GRABS THE SHINT ROD

·      DIANA GRABS HER CHARIOT CARD, KNOWING WHAT IT WOULD MEAN TO AKKO

·      The green team all searching in the snowy town and Amanda just missing her Chaos Friend “Come on Akko. If you don’t come back I swear I’ll never forgive you.”

·      More Akko and Amanda stories please

·      SUCY GOING BACK TO THE BRIDGE WHERE SHE FIRST MET AKKO BECAUSE WE KNOW IT’S ONE OF HER FAVORITE MEMORIES

·      “It figures, Akko always did have a way of getting us to follow her.”

·      LOTTE THIS POOR PRECIOUS BEAN

·      “It’s too much, thinking that she might be gone. I can’t! Til’ now, I didn’t even think about the possibility that one day she might be gone. What do I do? What do I do if Akko doesn’t come back?”

·      TW: SUICIDE

·      Okay I have to point this out and it’s a little dark but Lotte’s dialogue and the way she says it makes it seem like Akko might be dead, as if she thinks Akko learning the truth about “Chariot” taking away her magic would be enough to make Akko want to kill herself. The red team is around Akko the most and they would know firsthand the extent to which Akko loves Chariot and why the truth would be devastating to the point of Akko trying to commit suicide. I know they try to bring it back to Akko being gone as in leaving Luna Nova but that’s not the tone of that scene/Lotte at all

·      It also reminds me of the earlier scene where Chariot takes of her glasses and says “Please take care of [Akko] for me” in such a lifeless voice, as if she’s not expecting to come back from her fight with Croix.

·      It’s sad and heartbreaking and it’s so fucking interesting

·      And here’s Diana looking for Akko

·      Goodness Akko ran so fucking far in the snow, I wonder if she even realized it or was just so numb and sad

·      Oh yeah Akko on the bench, she’s numb. Her eyes are dead, she’s not looking at anything, it’s freezing out and snow is collecting on her and she’s not even moving

·      Good lord this is the exact opposite of the Akko we know. She is destroyed

·      “It’s freezing out. I can’t believe you were actually sitting out there this entire time.” Akko truly did not care, she was too hurt

·      Diana telling Akko she knows the truth

·      Omg the way Akko just looks at Diana’s card and says “A premium Chariot card?” with none of the excitement she would have normally had, oh god

·      Oh good, at least Akko is talking to Diana about Shiny Chariot. But there’s none of the happiness in her voice like there usually is

·      I have to say, I want these fucking Chariot cards they look cool as fuck

·      And considering how much merchandise she has, there had to be a long length of time where Shiny Chariot was super popular

·      Diana’s mom sending Diana to Japan so she could see Shiny Chariot :’)

·      I do love that they saw the same show, even with what happened

·      Ah Akko remembered Andrew talking about how Diana couldn’t use magic

·      At least Akko knows that there is hope for her, if Diana was able to become the witch that she is

·      But I also need to know, can anyone decide to be a witch????? How does that work. Akko was clearly not from a witch family but she still is one. I’ve asked this in a previous post and I’m still so confused

·      Akko has a lot of self doubt and it’s only natural but it still hurts

·      Aww showing the Chariot show from Diana’s POV

·      This was all Chariot wanted, she made these two amazing witches smile and LOVE magic and it all got twisted

·      “That amazing feeling she left me with gave me the strength to keep going.” It was Diana’s love of Chariot that helped her keep trying MY GOD

·      Oh man when she talks about how she had to distance herself from Chariot because of the expectations on her, ouch

·      DIANA DID GO TO LUNA NOVA BECAUSE THAT’S WHERE CHARIOT WENT

·      Lmfao Diana: to be honest I didn’t much care for you when we first met. Yeah dear we know

·      “Your magic had a strange charm to it” That’s cute

·      Lmao Diana wanted to leave Luna Nova to get away from Akko??? Gay thoughts too strong

·      “Because I knew you were closer to Chariot than I would ever be.” Oof that hurts. And is also so true in more ways than one

·      SHE GAVE AKKO THE PREMIUM CARD GOOD LORD

·      LOTTE RUNNING IN AND TACKLING AKKO

·      She was so worried about losing Akko, they are so sweet

·      Akko’s back!!!!!!!

·      Lmao Sucy just shoves the Rod into Akko’s back. So Sucy

·      The green team is here! Can we get a group hug?

·      Aww the magic shopkeeper guy giving them drinks on the house

·      Lmao Amanda teasing Akko about crying

·      OMG Sucy and Diana joining in

·      OHHHHH SHIT

·      OH SHIT

·      CHARIOT JUST WALKING UP THE NEW MOON TOWER

·      NO DEFENSES, NO NOTHING SHE’S JUST WALKING UP AND GOING INTO THE LAB

·      That Noir Rod is huge.

·      Croix: I have you to thank. I was able to perfect it with the data collected from the dream fuel spirit. CROIX STOP RUBBING IT IN

·      Chariot is just not in the fucking mood

·      She doesn’t even have her glasses, just the blue hair

·      HER HAIR IT’S BACK TO RED

·      THAT WAS SO BADASS

·      “I’ll stop you here and now.” WITH HER GLOWING RED HAIR THAT MATCHES THE COLOR OF THE NOIR ROD GOD SHE’S SO SEXY

·      Also yep she’s gonna do whatever it takes to stop Croix right now

·      Oof gosh that was a tough episode and there’s only 2 more left

[burnedbyshoto]

Under the Mistletoe

pairing: todoroki shouto x fem!reader

warning: smut, cursing, fluff

word count: 8,467

a/n: I didn’t want to edit this last night so lmao... sorry!!!!! anyways, this is super cute and yall should like.....read it :D

Synopsis: The mistletoe tradition is known by all, and if used correctly it can end in a sweet moment. Too bad Todoroki Shouto believes that people fuck under the mistletoe and not kiss under it.

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

“So you’re telling me that when two people meet under a mistletoe they have to...” Shouto trails off as he looks at the green plant nestled in between his fingers. “They have to—”

“They have to fuck, yes,” Kaminari nods his head. 

His arms are crossed over his chest, his eyes closed as he nods. His words, of course, are a flat out lie, but to Todoroki Shouto it seems as if his friend is speaking the truth. “It’s why it was never put up during our Christmas celebrations at school! With some of you guys not turning eighteen until after Christmas and all. That could have turned out to be child porn or something!”

“I haven’t had sex though,” Shouto huffs as he throws the mistletoe towards the blond who yells as it hits his head. “I don’t think I want to be caught underneath it. Didn’t Mineta wear a hat with it attached to it last week though?”

“Yeah, but that’s the only way Mineta can get girls, plus didn’t you see how the girls avoided him like the plague?” Sero pipes in, a large grin on his face as he takes the mistletoe and throws it above Kaminari’s head.

Shouto, however, sees this as a substantial poof.

“Bro, are you telling me you wanna fuck?” Kaminari winks as he looks up at the mistletoe.

“No, I just don’t think you’ll ever get to smash without this either!” Sero laughs as Kaminari slaps the mistletoe from Sero’s grasp.

“Would you fucking bastards GET OFF YOUR ASSES and come fucking help out?!” Bakugou roars as he enters the living room where the three men were sitting around.

Shouto stands up first, his eyes looking at the mistletoe that lays innocently on the floor. White people were pretty weird for starting that tradition.

Of course, it wasn’t to say that Shouto didn’t want to meet anyone under the mistletoe! Had it been a tradition where he would get to kiss someone it would be different, but fucking? Having sex only because you were caught under a plant was a bit too much.

“Todoroki-kun, are you okay?” Midoriya asked as he walked while hold two tables to put up for the dinner. The boys of the since graduated class 1-A were in charge of hosting the first annual Christmas party. Of course on because Iida volunteered them all.

Shouto nodded his head as he smiled strained, “I’m going to be avoiding the mistletoe all night.”

Midoriya looked at the fallen plant as he quirked an eyebrow, “Really? I thought it could be a great idea to get— mmph?!”

Shouto’s eyes widened as he saw Kaminari, Sero, and Kirishima covering the One for All user’s mouth. They began dragging him away, their mouths at his ear as they whispered at him.

“Todoroki-kun, Kirishima-kun!” Iida yelled as he brisked over with red cloth in his hands, “I need your help in spreading snow out in front of the house! It hasn’t snowed enough yet!”

“Iida, what do you think about mistletoe?” Shouto asks as Kirishima jogs over to them.

“It’s a weird tradition,” Iida admits as he rubs the back of his neck. “But there’s too much to do, and the girls will be here within an hour!”

“Don’t worry bro,” Kirishima laughs as he slings an arm around Shouto’s shoulder. “Just avoid the mistletoe! Unless... you want us to send y/l/n-chan your way!”

Shouto couldn’t hide the flush the built on his cheeks at those words. The joyous laughter of Kirishima’s teasing didn’t help either.

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

Shouto stared at himself in the mirror.

Iida had insisted on formal wear tonight. He believed their first Christmas celebration outside of U.A. was a cause to ditch the Santa gear. It was definitely weird celebrating Christmas with his friends and not wearing the Santa suits.

But Shouto chose a dark navy blue suit, a white button-up, and a slim black tie. His fingers buttoned one of the buttons on his jacket before putting in silver cuff links. He was ready.

Stepping out of the bathroom, Shouto placed his clothes into the designated room. It seemed, however, that he was the last one ready as everyone else was sitting at the grand table. It had been beautifully prepared by Sato and Tokoyami. The aroma of the cooking food filled the air causing Shouto to sigh, he was quite hungry.

“Bakugou, where’s the mistletoe?” Shouto asked his ash-blond friend who was walking around with his hands shoved into his pockets. Shouto watched as Bakugou groaned as he whipped around towards him.

“What makes you think I would fucking know, hah?” Bakugou grunts as he rolls his eyes. “It’s hidden for a goddamn reason, you’re not supposed to know!”

“Would you help me look for it?” Shouto asks as he rubs the back of his neck.

“HAH?! Why the hell would I look for it with YOU, half and half bastard?! Are you trying to—?” Bakugou’s mouth was then taped shut. Shouto watched on in confusion as the ash blond’s attention was stolen by Sero; who was now running away in his white tux from the storming blond.

“Why aren’t they just being bizarre!” Aoyama dramatized from Shouto’s left. Glancing over, Shouto chuckled at his friend dressed in a literal suit of armor that was blinding to the eye. “Now, are you confessing your feelings to Mademoiselle y/n? Christmas is the most romantic time to do so!”

Before Shouto could speak to the smirking blond, Iida bursts into the dining area with coats in his arms.

“The ladies have arrived!” He announced.

Shouto watched as six girls entered the room talking amongst themselves.

They all wore Christmas appropriate formal dresses, and yet his heart fell as he was quick to see that you weren’t there.

Where were you?

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

“I know I’m very late!” You exclaim into your phone as you struggle to shove the dark red evening dress over your body.

You weren’t supposed to have stayed as late at work as you did.

Missing the bullet train back to your apartment, you had completely missed the preparation for the party. Lucky for you, your neighbor had a useful quirk that let him do makeup and hair in ten minutes. So after offering him your soul (a promised meeting from his favorite Pro Hero Froppy), he agreed to do it.

The formal wear, however, was a bit too much in your opinion.

One month ago Iida had sent out appropriate outfits to gather ideas of what to wear for today. To put it simply he wanted a full-blown ball gown for a party for twenty-one of you.

So there you sat in your room, pulling the dark red dress into place. It had a semi sweetheart neckline, the bodice was made of soft velvet, and the skirt was multiple layers of red lace. Overall it was cute and simple. Slipping on your white heels you grabbed your coat and presents for your friends. Placing your phone to your ear you raced out to where the taxi was waiting for you.

“Iida won’t let anyone eat until you’re here! And I’m positive Bakugou is going to kill Midoriya out of a hangry fit if you don’t get here quick!” Mina once again tells you as you give the taxi driver the address.

“It’s not my fault villains decided to be villains where I work! Had it been my decision I would’ve been there with you guys! Plus it’s starting to snow,” you sigh as you pinch the bridge of your nose. “Tell Iida you guys can start eating, I’m not offended!”

“Girl, I told him that one hour ago, and again right before I called. Trust me, we’re not touching the food until you’re here!”

“Wow, you didn’t even want to wait for me?” You tease as you watch as the taxi drives into familiar areas.

“You know I’m teasing, besides loverboy here won’t let anyone eat until you get here too~!” Mina giggles in her sing-song tone.

“Don’t call Shouto that!” You groan as you try to calm your flaring cheeks. “We’re friends!”

“Friends who have the sexual tension that brings god to her knees! And the romantic chemistry that makes the cutest couple tremble in jealousy!” Mina exclaims. “Don’t worry, we saved you the seat right between him and me!”

“Mina!”

“Oh, gotta go! Bakugou AND your precious Shouto~ are demanding an update, see ya soon cutie!”

“Mina—”

The line went dead as you puffed out your cheeks.

Sometimes Mina was too slippery for her own good.

The rest of the taxi drive was quiet. Your taxi driver most likely wanting to get you out as soon as possible to go home themselves. Your eyes focused down at your cellphone that was getting text messages demanding your location.

Most of which was spam from Kaminari and Uraraka who seemed to be the most starving. Sighing, you shared your location with the class’s group chat for the next twenty-four hours. So they could track you for the next few minutes it would take for you to get there.

kaminari: i dont think ive ever been this excited to see y/n in my life… ever… and im 98% sure i had a crush on her 0.0

you: omg i told you guys you could EAT stop HARASSING ME

sero: tru lets blame iida

iida: You all would have been very upset had we eaten without you! Besides, this is our family so we have to wait, it’s only polite. - Iida Tenya

mina: …

you: …

midoriya: …

kirishima: i thought someone ingrained it into iida that he doesnt have to text… like that…

momo: I believe it is okay, Iida-san! It is confusing to know who’s texting on this chat! Sincerly, Yaoyorozu Momo

bakugou: hurry the FUCK UP Y/N

you: id rather die

“We’re here,” the driver sighs as they turn around. “That’ll be 2,000 yen.”

You smile in gratefulness as you pull out two 2,000 yen. “It’s a tip for working on a holiday, thank you!”

“Happy holidays.”

“To you as well!”

You stepped out of the car and closed the door behind you. Your eyes fluttering as you watch the snow fall in front of you. A shiver runs through your spine as you pull your coat tighter around yourself. Holding the presents closer to you, you walk down to the front door. You take notice of the heaps of snow in front of the lawn and grin. Although you had no evidence, you bet Iida made Shouto and Kirishima create snow unknowing that it was going to snow this much.

Opening the grand door, warmth and the waft of cooking food invaded your senses. Removing your coat, you heard chairs scraping against the floor as a small mob of people raced to greet you.

“Merry Christmas!”

“Season greetings!”

“I’m so fucking hungry, thank Santa you’re here!”

“Move bitches I get the first hug!”

“Let me grab her coat first!”

It had been a while since you had last seen everyone. But in this moshpit of who you would consider being among your best friends, it warmed your heart. “Thank you, Iida,” you smile as he nodded in response.

“You followed the guidelines quite well, you look great!” Iida compliments as he turns to put your coat away.

“Of course she looks great, we all went out together to a dress shop!” Jirou sighs as she pulls you into a hug.

You greeted everyone, hugging them all as you went until you finally found the one person you wanted to see. His hair styled slicked back and his hands rested in his pockets as he smiled at you. Your face felt like it was heating up as you stepped closer to him.

“Merry Christmas, Shouto,” you smile as the dual-colored man smiles at you. You pull him into a hug.

“Merry Christmas, y/n,” he mumbles into your hair. “I’ll take those from you?” Shouto offers as he grabs the bag with the presents.

“Thank you,” you say letting go of the bag.

Shouto nodded as he turns on his heel to put the presents away.

“TIME TO EAT!” Kirishima and Kaminari roar as everyone starts making their way back to the dining table.

“Just to let you know, there is a mistletoe somewhere here, in case you want to make a move,” Mina whispers in your ear.

Oh, this dinner seemed like it was going to get increasingly harder to stay composed.

xxx

“It’s present opening time!” Iida exclaims as he ushers the class into the living room where the tree and presents resided. “Please have a seat, Yaomomo and I have organized the different piles for everyone! Until you have been seated will you receive your pile!”

You were talking with Tsuyu as you entered the living room. Your eyes shining as you took in a beautifully decorated living room.

“You boys did an amazing job at decorating!” You exclaim as you grin, the night had been going perfectly so far.

Dinner had been lively and hilarious. Old banter and topics bleed into the night’s conversation made your heart ache for the old days. It seemed so long ago when you spent every day for three years with these guys. You missed it.

With Mina at your left who discussed her new fighting style. Shouto at your right who talked about his life at home. His family had finally was becoming something he loved completely. While you two had late night discussions talking about it no one else knew about it. It was invigorating to see Shouto grin and laugh in conversations. His old dense self was still ingrained in him yet he’s grown so much since his fifteenth year. You were proud of him.

You watched as Tsuyu took a seat on the couch, her eyes trained on you as she spoke. You moved to sit next to her until something shoved you to the side.

“Oh, that’s my seat!” Mina exclaimed as she sat next to Tsuyu, her smile large as your eyebrow rose. “There’s more, don’t worry!”

You turned around and saw a seat near Midoriya who was near Tsuyu. It seemed you could continue your conversation about her position as a Hero Commander. Midoriya would like that conversation as well.

“That’s my spot!” Uraraka shouts as you were about to sit down. You sighed as you stood back up, your eyes raking the couches for a place to sit.

“There’s a spot by Todoroki-kun,” Midoriya said pointing at Shouto. Shouto was sitting on a seat that was a bit too large for one person, but too small for two.

“Thanks,” you smile as you walk over to Shouto. “You mind if I squeeze in next to you?”

Shouto looks at you, his eyes intense as he shakes his head, “No, go ahead and sit.”

You sat at his left with a grin. Your body pressing into his left arm as he concentrated on Iida, and with a nudge, you captured his attention. “I hope you like the gift I bought for you,” you whisper as Iida begins handing out the piles of gifts to each person. Ojiro helping as they were big.

“I don’t think I could hate anything you could give me,” Shouto whispers back as he grabs his pile from Iida.

“Random panties I find on patrol?”

“I’d be honored you thought of me.”

“That’s so gross, Shouto,” you laugh as you take your own pile from Ojiro.

“You’re the one touching random panties from the streets of Japan!” Shouto retorts as he helps you settle your pile onto the floor.

“Touche, Shouto,” you grin as you shove him with your shoulder, “touche.”

“Because it is Uraraka-kun’s birthday coming up, she should go first!” Iida suggests and everyone agrees.

“Oh, I need to tell you something,” Shouto whispers as you cheer on Uraraka who is lifting a gift over her head.

“What is it?” You ask turning your head towards him.

“You look beautiful tonight,” he whispers before focusing back in onto Uraraka. She lifts out multiple bags of strawberry mochi with a triumphant scream.

“You look handsome tonight, too.”

It doesn’t take long before presents are being opened and you’re feeling content pressed into Shouto’s side.

From Aoyama, you got a crystal mirror that sparkled in the light. The poem about the North Star engraved into the back of the mirror.

From Mina, you got workout clothes specific to a dance class you and the girls were planning on attending together. They were in your favorite color and came with a jacket with your name stitched into it.

From Tsuyu, you got a plushie. It was of your favorite animal and held lots of tiny little snacks that you could carry during a patrol.

From Iida, he presented you with a pair of exercise shoes you had been needing for a while. After all, sparring with Bakugou and Midoriya left your old ones disintegrated.

From Uraraka, she bought you a charm bracelet that had two charms on it already. One of the U.A. building and another of a small group of girls.

Ojiro gave you got a new winter coat. It was white, waterproof and insulated. Your jaw on the ground as you tried it on because it made you look like a marshmallow and you adored that.

Kaminari gave you got his mixtape. On the cassette were a bunch of Kaminari originals he had been promising you for years now, and now you had a copy. That and a gift card to your favorite restaurant.

Kirishima gave you a new ankle and wrist weights. Something to help with your manly journey to becoming the best hero!

Koda bashfully announced that you were getting an all-inclusive trip to an animal and tea shop. Something he gifted everyone in the class, and an event you girls were quick to plan.

Sato gave you a free pass to let him bake you anything you wanted. Another gift given to all the girls, and another gift you girls were excited to use.

Shoji had gifted you a massage gun. Something you had enveloped him in a hug for minutes afterward because it was something you had been meaning to buy.

Jirou’s gift was in a white envelope, two VIP tickets to your favorite band. A very discounted item because her parents knew them and the fact that she was a Pro Hero too.

Sero’s gift was something that made you laugh, it was a high-quality blanket. Soft to the touch, with the ability to keep you warm in a blizzard! It had a class picture printed on it photoshopped with Kaminari’s wheey face onto everyone’s picture.

Tokoyami gave you a picture album with the class’s best memories. It also had many more blank pages for your own pictures.

Hagakure bought you a new set of makeup and brushes. Brushes that you had been eyeing the time you two had gone shopping together too!

Bakugou bought you a new outfit. It was definitely an outfit for warmer weather, and he got annoyed when you went to hug him.

Midoriya made you a present. It was two notebooks full of analysis and suggestions that you had asked for when sparring. You wanted to continue improving and Midoriya was definitely going to help you.

Mineta bought you a gift card to use at a local lingerie store. On the one hand, it had a lot of money on it, on the other hand, you wanted to destroy it.

Momo blushed as she stood up, her grin wide as she looked at everyone. She apologized about being able to properly buy everyone an honest gift as she had been busy these past few months. Nut she promised she made up for it. She had paid off everyone’s apartment/house rent or price. Or in Iida’s and Shouto’s case their groceries for four months.

“This is for you,” Shouto whispered as he handed you a thin rectangular box. “I didn’t want it getting smashed so, I held onto it. I didn’t forget to give you a gift.”

Your eyes focused on the gift that was wrapped in red and silver wrapping paper. Your fingers gently taking it from him as you nodded. Shouto had been giving everyone else gifts with things that reminded him of them. It had some of the most hilarious items to date. But the box told you nothing, no hint, no clue. The attention of the group was on Aoyama who was modeling the new outfits that were gifted to him.

His eyes bore into you as you opened the gift, your eyes widening as you opened the box. “Shouto…” you trailed off as you looked down at the simple yet gorgeous necklace that lay in the box. It had a single diamond on it, yet you knew that it was more expensive than anything you’ve ever bought in your life. “W-What?”

Shouto remained silent as he gently pulled the necklace from the box, he asked you wordlessly to turn around so that he could place it on you. You complied as you shifted in the seat.

“I promise I looked everywhere else for you before choosing this!” Shouto admits as his warm fingers push your hair to the side. The cold chain presses into your skin as you look down at the jewel. “But no matter what I looked at, this was the only thing I liked for you. So, no, I don’t regret or worry about buying you this because I know it was meant to be yours.” His breath teased your exposed skin and it took everything within you not to melt as he fixed your hair.

Not knowing how to thank him, you pulled him into a tight hug, your arms holding him near as he returned the hug. Your lips pressed gently against his cheek, “Thank you, Shouto.”

You pull away and look back to your friends who were still focused on Aoyama who did a spin. Your fingers grazed the shiny jewel, and you lay your head against his shoulder as you consume the fashion show laid out for you.

Xxx

“You’re confessing to him, right?!” Mina hisses as the girls called an impromptu meeting seconds before you were "about to kiss Shouto" on the couch.

“Mina-san, she was about to kiss Todoroki-san right before you ripped her from his grasp!” Momo sighed as gave you an apologetic smile.

“Y/n has liked him since high school! Her first kiss with Todoroki-kun is not going to be while Bakugou is modeling his clothes!” Hagakure defended Mina as she crossed her arms.

“First off, I was not going to kiss him,” you defend yourself as you point a sweeping finger at your friends. “I was going in to get lint in his hair!”

“There wasn’t lint in his hair,” Tsuyu chimed in to which everyone agreed.

“Leave her alone!" Jirou waves her hands, to which you thank her. "She was going to take the lint out with her teeth! To show him what that mouth do!”

Jirou snorts as you shove her.

“Do you see that rock on her neck?! You know she’s not gonna show him only what that mouth do, but also what her—!” Uraraka snickers as she was interrupted by the kitchen door opening.

“Y/n?” Shouto asks, his eyes wide as he sees that you’re flustered and pointing your fingers at them all. “Um… I was wondering if we could talk?”

“Right now?” You squeak as you smooth over your dress. “Of course right now, um, yes let’s go!” You declare, glaring at your friends as you walk towards Shouto. Grabbing his hand and dragging him out of the kitchen the door closing behind you.

“They put up the mistletoe outside right?” Momo whispers as she looks at Jirou who gives a thumbs up.

“Yes, Kaminari said they convinced Todoroki to talk with y/n outside.”

“Does… does Todoroki-kun even know what to do under the mistletoe?” Uraraka asks as she realizes her sheltered friend was still learning new things to this day.

“The boys must’ve explained it to him,” Hagakure insists as she nods. “You can’t fuck up explaining that you kiss someone under the mistletoe. Besides, they want them to get together too!”

Xxx

“Fuck, it’s cold,” you shiver as you wrap your jacket around you.

“Sorry,” Shouto apologizes as he grabs your hands in his. Heat immediately spreads through your skin. He was warming you up, the cold winter air is ignorable, as you and Shouto walk towards the edge of the porch. “There wasn’t any room in there that was private enough, and I needed to talk to you about something important.”

“Oof, don’t tell me you meant to give this necklace to some other girl named y/n,” you tease as you rest your back against the snow-covered railings. “If so, I’m going to need to fight both you and her for it.”

“No, no,” Shouto chuckles as his thumb rubs smooth circles into your skin. “But it is about the necklace.”

You nod your head as you squeeze his hand reassuringly, “What about it?”

“It’s not… too forward is it?” Shouto asks as he takes his right hand to brush your hair from your face. “If you think it’s too much I can take you to return it for something else you’d like.”

The worry and concern that are heavily etched into his face make you laugh softly as you shake your head. “Even though I can’t give you something as great in return, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.”

“What do you mean? I liked your gift.”

“Shouto, it was a two paid in full all you can eat meals at that soba joint you love, of course, you were going to like it!” You tease as you think back to the hole in the wall you had introduced Shouto to a few months ago.

“Yes, I have to starve for a week to make the most of your gift,” he teases and you snort as you shove him. Your eyes roll as you focus your attention back onto him.

Wait, what was that?

Your eyes flew back up to the ceiling as you saw the powdered with snow mistletoe hanging from the ceiling. Your jaw dropped as your heart rate spiked. The hands that were in Shouto’s felt sweaty as you ripped your hands from his.

“What’s wrong?” Shouto asks as he follows your gaze up to the ceiling.

“Mistletoe,” you breathe as your eyes widen. This screamed like a setup to you, but how could the girls know the two of you would have made your way out here?!

“Oh.” Shouto’s voice nearly squeaked.

“You don’t have to—”

“I want to,” Shouto whispers, his cheeks glowing in embarrassment or from the cold, you had no idea at this point. “If you’re okay with it, um... I’ve never done this before.”

You lick your lips in anticipation and the feeling that Shouto wants to kiss you back. Your heart hammers in your ears as you smile. “It’s okay, I have,” you laugh gently.

“... you have?”

“Yeah!”

“O-oh…”

“It’s okay, it’s something I try not to remember,” you input as you shake your hands. His disappointed, flustered, and jealous aura screaming at you as you cup his cheeks. “You’re the one I wanted to meet under the mistletoe anyways.”

His hands slip through your jacket, holding your waist in his grasp as he lets out a shaky breath. Shouto’s eyes rise to lock on yours finally, and you nod at him.

“Wait you want to do this outside?” Shouto whispers as you near him.

“You’re supposed to do it under the mistletoe,” you mumble as your lips connect with his. Your lips end all arguments that he has as Shouto stills.

The kiss was slow, your eyes closed as you gently coaxed his stiff lips to move with yours. Shouto moved with you smoothly, the kiss gently growing in passion as he pulled you in closer. The kiss burns you as your lips languidly move against each other. Your hands moving from his cheeks to tangling into his gelled hair.

It was perfect, and you found yourself pulling away, ready to confess your feelings for him. But Shouto didn’t seem to be on the same page as his lips pressed against your throat. The feeling of his heated and soft lips against your colder skin made you suck in a sharp breath of air. Your head tilting backward as he peppered clumsy yet attentive kisses against your skin.

“S-Shouto,” you moaned as your fingers grabbed onto the collar of his jacket. This wasn’t what you were expecting from him. Nor was it something you believed to come from a visit under the mistletoe. Your peaked breaths soon calmed, they smoothed into soft and shaky moans as his teeth teased your sensitive skin.

Shudders flew through your body as his tongue caressed your skin. your mind was sinking into a sinking pit that is until he trailed his tongue to the cleavage of your breasts.

“Shouto!” You squeak as you shove his jaw up, his eyes locking on yours confused and drowning with lust.

“What’s wrong, love?” Shouto asks as a strand of hair falls into his eyes. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Is this how you meet everyone under the mistletoe?” You pant as your mind is racing too many thoughts a second, you can’t keep up as there is a heat building in you. A heat that begged you to get over your shyness and just let him kiss you in such a lewd way. But this wasn’t Shouto, it couldn’t be.

“I’ve never been under a mistletoe before,” Shouto mumbles as his lips press together. In this brief hesitation, it seems that he remembers something. “Who have you… met under the mistletoe…”

Your face warms as you sigh, it wasn’t a memory you much enjoyed.

“It was Bakugou, but only because the damn store owners were so insistent on it!”

This confession made Shouto still. His eyes turning a near black with emotions you hadn’t seen on his face in quite a while.

“Shouto? Are you okay--mmph?!”

His lips were back over yours immediately. His bruised lips fervently danced against yours as he held his right hand to the back of your neck and the other firmly onto the small of your back. His kiss was demanding, sultry, and overwhelming.

Your questions of his emotions out of your mind as your ass hit the porch railing. The cold snow burning through your dress made you cry out, and Shouto’s tongue presses into your mouth. Your back arches as his left-hand leaves your body. It slams against the railing and the snow melts, and the tongue in your mouth warms you as you shudder in his hold.

Not wanting to be manipulated like this, you ignore how your body feels like it’s melting in his hold. Your mouth suckles onto his tongue. Your hands fist into his hair, making him moan into your mouth as you tug on it sharply.

You can feel the falling snow hitting your cheeks, but your body temperature has spiked so high that it melts before it can make complete contact.

Ripping your mouth from his, your lips trail down his neck, nipping and sucking hickies onto his pale skin. The harsh pants that escaped his mouth and the shaking of his form further incited you as your painted lips met the collar of his shirt.

“Should we go back to my place?” You ask as you pull away, your hands fisting around his tie as you look into his lust-fueled eyes.

“I thought you said we had to do it under the mistletoe?” Shouto questions, his upper lip in almost a sneer as he uses your hands to loosen his tie. Your eyes widened as he stripped off his jacket. He placed it onto the railing that was turning the snow into steam whenever it made contact. “Did you take Bakugou home after finding yourself under the mistletoe with him?”

The words were a near snarl, his eyes angry, his face jealous.

Some part of you wanted to utilize this. You wanted to use this surplus of emotion Shouto was emitting to get him to fuck you against this railing. Another part of you, a louder part of you, demanded to know what was wrong.

“Why would I bring Bakugou home?” You ask as you take Shouto’s flushed cheeks in your hands. “It’s mistletoe, not a porno.”

Shouto blinks once, twice, thrice.

“W-What?”

“Mistletoe, not porno,” you repeat confused. “Shouto, you’re supposed to kiss under the mistletoe.”

It’s then that Shouto’s body freezes. His eyes widening as he stares at you.

His face flushed, lips were swollen from kissing, and hair messy.

“You’re… you’re not supposed to fuck?” He asks, his voice barely above a whisper as he shakes his head.

The small sentence causes your heart to beat wildly as you stare at him, your hands moving from his cheeks to your mouth. “NO!” You squeak as Shouto takes a step back from you, his head dropping.

Coldness envelopes you as Shouto nods his head, “I’m sorry for forcing myself on you, y/n. I… I should go.”

You watch as Shouto turns on his heel, his back stiff as he walks towards the door.

Everything in you screams at you to make him stop, pleading that you pull him back and say you’ll still fuck him. The kissing itself had ignited a fire within you. And there was nothing else you wanted but Shouto to subside the need and desire that had built within you.

“I like you,” you reel as you find yourself taking several steps forward as Shouto’s hand touches the door handle. “I have feelings for you, and when I found out that I could kiss you tonight I took the chance! I know you might be feeling a whole bunch of different emotions that I can’t list. But I want to let you know that I wasn’t letting you do that because of the mistletoe, Shouto! I genuinely really like you and I was going to let you fuck me against the porch railing I was that ready.”

Shouto is frozen at the door, his back tense as his hand drops. You watch in what feels like slow motion as he turns around, his eyes locking on yours. It clicks, his confession is silent as he walks back towards you.

The world has gone silent as Shouto cuts the distance between the two of you before you could react. His mouth pressing against yours as you’re sent walking backward. Your hands grasping his biceps as you’re pressed against a familiar railing.

“I like you,” Shouto gasps against your lips. “Fuck, y/n, I like you so much.”

You don’t answer him as you instead sink your teeth into his lower lip, a groan leaving his mouth as you pull away. His eyes flash dangerously, something new stirring within him as your lips come crashing together again. In a tangle of lips and tongue, his hands leave your waist and grab your ass through the fabric of the dress. The cold is ignorable and the jacket around you is making you sweat as you moan into the kiss.

The melodious sound escaping your mouth stirs Shouto on and his leg slips between your thighs as you arch into him. His leg presses indescribably into your crotch, so you do what you must and grind your hips against his leg.

The grip on your ass tightens as Shouto begins to guide your hips into wide circles against his leg. The grinding pleasures you. The slowly building pressure overwhelming you as you whine against his mouth. His name escapes your mouth like a prayer, soft and hopeful as your mouth suckles against his tongue.

“It’s too hot,” you whimper as you pull away, Shouto trying to follow you with his mouth as you tilt your head. His wandering lips press against your neck and you sigh as you shift to take off the jacket.

“You’re going to get sick,” Shouto warns. His hands leave your rotating ass as he tries to slip the coat back over your shoulders.

Taking his hands and instead press them onto your breasts. As his eyes shifted to your breasts, you dropped your coat to the floor and you stare at him with a growing smirk. “Then you better fuck the cold away.”

His eyes take you in and he slowly nods, his hands groping your breasts as he growls in response, “Don’t think I won’t.”

“Big words for a virgin,” you moan as warmth spreads throughout your body.

“Those are fighting words for someone who’s at my mercy,” Shouto snaps as he pinches your side.

A pained moan escapes your lips as Shouto’s teeth sink back onto your neck. His tongue then lashing out to smooth the wound that was left in its place. He continues to mark your neck as your gasping praises and grinding hips gives him the confidence to continue. His touch is intoxicating and you find yourself whining for more, begging that he do more. Finally, with a deep chuckle, Shouto pulls away from your neck, his lips red and raw.

His eyes trace your body as his hand’s trail from your breasts back onto your ass. Your eyes widen as he picks you up as if you weigh nothing, his hands massaging your flesh as he places you onto the rail. A low sigh escapes your lips at the feeling of the warm wood underneath you.

Your chest heaves with your quickening breathing as you see that this position gives Shouto the perfect entrance to fuck you out here.

There wasn’t much you could do outside. With snow blanketing the world, your friends indoor, and both you and Shouto craving the other there was only so much you could do. Fully expecting Shouto to start unbuckling his pants, your eyes shot open as he lifted the skirt of your dress. His heated fingers trailing up your cool flesh.

Trembling you watched as his fingers reached your panties. His finger stroking your folds as your hands held tightly onto his shoulder. Your pussy aches for more. Your panties soaked from the thigh riding and the being so overwhelmed with emotions for Shouto.

You can do nothing as you feel your panties being peeled from your skin. The soft fabric trailing down your legs and you watch as Shouto looks at them before pocketing them. A smirk overcomes his facial features as you watch him. He takes your wrists in his right hand and moves them behind your back. Your eyes widen as a familiar sound hits your ears.

“I might be a virgin, but I’m not a prude,” he whispers into your ear as cold ice encloses your wrists. “You have only a few minutes to get yourself to cum against my fingers, or else… well, I don’t want to find out.”

Unintentionally, you whimper in both pleasure and pain as the coldness seeps through your skin and your pussy throbs at the threat. Should you heed his command or make him recant. As you contemplate that, you rub your legs together. The slickness of your essence much more noticeable without the fabric in place, and you moan.

Shouto smirks as he looks at your moving legs, and he takes his left hand to trace your inner thigh, teasingly, barely touching your skin. Your eyes flutter as they brush against your slit right before he plunges two fingers into your wet heat. Cursing his name, your walls tremble against him as you press your forehead onto his shoulder. His fingers are warm, but your heat is even warmer.

“Is something wrong?” He feigns innocence as his fingers curl against your wall. They circle within your cunt as you whimper lewdly.

“N-No!” You stammer. The freezing sensation of the ice is almost ignorable with his fingers beginning to push within you. He nods as he begins to move his fingers slowly. Your body squirms in his hold as he increases his speed. Soon his fingers pump within you at unimaginable speeds, your head throwing backward at the pleasure. Your hips find themselves bucking against his fingers as you mewl.

The ice begins to burn as his thumb brushes against your clit.

Your eyes clench close as you surge forward. Your lips pressing against his as you attempt to stop your loud moans. Shouto swallows your moans as he continues to pound his fingers in you. A third one soon entering as his thumb flicks against your clit.

So close, you’re so fucking close.

You can feel the pressure building in you, the coil tightening as you cry out his name, pleading for him to make you cum. Shouto muses at your desperation but does not relieve you of your desires as his fingers leave your cunt. You cry at the expulsion, your pussy craving for him to reenter your needy cunt.

Instead, your wrists are set free from their icy cage. Your skin feels like its burning as Shouto places his fingers into his mouth. He's licking your essence off his skin and you whine at the visual.

“I decided that I want you to come around my cock instead,” Shouto chuckles as you glare at him.

“You’re a dick,” you whine as you watch as Shouto loosens his tie after removing his jacket.

“You’re the greedy one who wanted to fuck right here,” Shouto hums as he unbuckles his belt. You stare at him feeling your pussy throb at the impending sex.

Your eyes fall onto his cock as his pants bunch at his knees, and your mouth dries at the sight of him. Eight inches and thick, his hand fists against his length, low grunts escaping his mouth as he steps near to you.

“Are you okay with this?” Shouto asks as the head of his cock brushes against your wet folds.

You nod your head as you shudder at the sensations that run through your veins, “Yes, are you?”

He nods too as he grunts softly. He begins to grind his cock against your folds. The increased pressure than what he was doing before makes you moan as he coats himself with your juices. Your hands hold onto his biceps as he continues to move his cock between your folds. teasing your clit instead of penetrating you and you whine in protest. The stimulation of your clit appreciated but you wanted him to fill you up.

“Will you just fuck me already?!” You rasp as you pathetically circle your hips against his length.

Shouto chuckles as he locks eyes with you, “Maybe.”

Your mouth opens to argue, but you’re cut off by him pushing himself into your needy pussy without warning. His length barely fits entirely within you, and his girth causes your head to spin as he stretches you out. “FUCK!” You hiss as your head presses into his collarbone.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Shouto shudders as your walls spasm against him, overloading him with sensations as he tries to calm himself. “Y-You’re so fucking tight.”

“Move, Shouto,” you beg eagerly needing more friction from him. “Please fucking move.”

With a grunt of confirmation, Shouto rolls his hips. You curse as his hips move outward before bottoming back into you. Your hips move in time with his, and intermingled moans resonate within your now joined mouths. His thrusting picks up speed the more comfortable he gets. His moving hips slamming against yours as you cry into his mouth. His hand grips your waist as he pulls you from the railing, one of your legs hooked around his waist as the other shakily stands. He slides his other hand down your back so that he can cup the bottom your ass. It’s a stretch and it adds to his vigorous thrusts into your cunt.

The feel of Shouto’s pelvis slapping against yours is your remedy — you’re craving him even more and he is well aware of that fact.

You’re swelling with euphoria and lust when he decides to amp up your pleasure by bringing his right hand to your clit. His fingers circle against your clit with his ice-cold touch, it shocks you as your heated body jerks under the new temperature. With the added temperature play, it feels as if your body is breaking under his will. Your pussy clenching at sensations he’s giving you. Your hips rolling against his pounding hips, and he moans in return to how your walls clench against him.

Your head lolls to the side as you’re overwhelmed by the blazing heat in your core. The pressure of your cunt heavily evident throughout your entire body. You needed to keep it together, you wanted to keep going. The head of his cock finally comes to press against your sweet spot as he shifts your hips and you shriek.

“Fuck! Please, right there!” You beg as Shouto shakily nods, his hips coming to snap into that same spot over and over. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you’re no longer able to speak. You’re completely overpowered by his snapping hips.

“Will you come for me,” he groans out, his voice a pleading hope.

Your head nods frantically as you're unable to trust your voice. The action satisfies Shouto as he hisses lowly. Faster and harder, his fingers switch from pressing small circles to large figure-eights on your clit, while his hips slamming faster into you. You can’t handle the pleasure any more, and you feel your high coming.

“Shouto,” you gasp as he presses a kiss against your mouth again. His hands moving to lift you up, you can only cry in pleasure as he slams your back against a pole. His hips continuing to snap into you at insane speeds. You’re not able to keep up as sparks ignite in your veins as he slams into you over and over.

Your orgasm hits your body and it’s as if you’re falling away into ecstasy. Your mind spinning and dazed from the continuous world-altering sensations. You cry out his name as he still continues at his unmerciful pace. That is until he suddenly pulls out and drops you onto your shaking legs.

Whining at the loss of his cock, and the fact that you’re now on your feet, you open your shut eyes and stare at him unable to speak.

“Turn around,” he growls. You can’t believe he wants you to go for his own orgasm with you in a whole new position. Was he really a virgin you question as he fists his cock as you reposition yourself onto the railing. Your chest presses weirdly onto the wood as your knees buckle, and you look over your shoulder to see Shouto raising the skirt of your dress.

Shouto doesn’t ask to insert himself in you again. Your fingers grip the railing as he slams back in and you let out a sharp cry as you seize forward.

He starts up a brutal pace with his hips slapping against your ass with each and every thrust. Your hands move to your mouth as you cry as you rock forward with every thrust. His hips remain steady as his pace accelerates. You watch on a dazed high as snow falls onto your moving hair. Your fingers shoved into your mouth like a gag as he grips your hips. You use all of your willpower to push your hips back against his to meet him thrust by thrust.

Slowly, he starts to vocalize more and more. His lips moaning your name and crying out. He keeps one gripping hand on your hips while the other slips to your clit. Your mind snaps as he begins rubbing meticulous shapes onto your puffy nerves.

You can tell he’s close.

He’s chanting your name against your spine like some mindless prayer to you. His hot breath fanning onto your exposed skin. The hand on your hip grips you tighter, definitely bruising your skin. So you grip the railing with one hand and the other remains in your mouth.

“Are you ready?” Shouto growls while nipping at your skin. “Ready to take my cum?”

“Yes! Please, Shouto!” You choke out from your fingers, the pleasure and overstimulation reaching their tipping point once again.

“Then fucking come.”

Your toes curl as you let out a sob of pleasure. Your arm is unable to support yourself anymore as you let your torso slam against the railing. The circles on your clit finally stop and your abused cunt clenches around Shouto’s cock. Your body reaches its second orgasm of the night, and Shouto arrives with you.

He cries out a “Fuck!” and your name as his speed spills within you. It’s the loudest he’s been all night, which makes you whine at the sound of your name being said so vulgarly from his mouth. As your cries become breathless pants, you press your hands against the railings. The saliva on your fingers turning cold as the two of you stand still for what feels like some time. You feel him slide both of his hands on top of yours to intertwine with yours as cum spurts out of his cock, filling you up.

He rubs circles on top of your hands with his thumbs as he slides himself out. The feeling of him gone makes the both of you whimper at the loss of each other’s fill. You feel some of his cum seep out, and you shudder at the emptiness your cunt now feels.

You slowly stretch back up, your body hurting and now quickly turning cold with the lack of his heat.

Shouto is two steps ahead of you as he grabs your tossed coat from the floor and wraps you tightly within its fabric. “There,” he smiles as he pulls up his own pants, his face still flushed for different reasons.

You giggle as you shake your head, “Did I really get dicked down because of mistletoe?”

A snort escapes Shouto’s lips as he nods, “You did.”

“Well, I do like you, Shouto,” you whisper as he finishes dressing. “It’s not just because of the mistletoe.”

“I know,” Shouto whispers as he takes your cheeks in his hands. “And now this is me asking you on a date and if you’d like to be my girlfriend.”

Joy fills your heart as you laugh softly. “I’d love to be,” you say as your lips meet his in a gentle kiss right under the mistletoe.

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

taglist (message to be added):

@flayvus @antigenius @mariahschoices @cherry-pie-shay @the-secret-thief @vampire-dumbass @monst

[kzuhadovey]

omg please i beg of you a part 2 of I Love You w Atsumu the amount of times I read it because it was so heart breaking yet just the right amount of yearning of that makes sense. I absolutely loved it 😍

I’m stupid for loving you... aren’t I?

character: miya atsumu x reader

type: angst??? fluff???

warnings: -

song rec: mr loverman - ricky montgomery

click this to read part 1!!

ahhh hello anon!! this is my first ever request, i’m so excited!! this took rlly long for some reason, i’m so scared to disappoint yall with this 😭😭 well here you go, a part 2 to i love you :)

You were doing fairly great after the incident. Life was peaceful, your grades were skyrocketing, you quit the volleyball team and chose to pursue fashion design- life was good. You graduated Inarizaki as one of the best students in your class and first place in the 49th Japan Fashion Design Contest. You could almost remember the feeling of graduating, on stage, receiving your diploma, being cheered on by your friends and family, with a particular blonde boy eye-ing you with adoring eyes.

The after-party was hectic, never-ending drinks, maybe a make-out or two, but overall, you were ecstatic. An interesting thing that happened during the party, was your interaction with Miya Atsumu. He was still as lively as ever, a bright smile on his face wherever he was. Once he saw you that night, a drink in hand and your arm over your friend’s shoulder, a small smile popped on his face. He went still for a second as all the memories rushed back and you spun around. You were sweaty and drunk, but in his eyes, you looked heavenly. You remember glancing at his eyes for a second, he still had that same honey-toned eyes, a slight lovey-dovey look in his eyes. That was the only interaction you had for the night, and what you thought was for the rest of your life. Or so you’d thought.

Life was pretty much hectic after graduation. College, then joining one of the most successful fashion designers, to actually having your own brand. Who knew design could be so stressful? You slump down in your office only to be greeted by more piles of fabric and paperwork. Another load of presentations to investors and other businesses- yet your company seemed to be going nowhere. “Excuse me, your 4 o’clock meeting is here.” Your assistant suddenly says, making you flinch. “Geez- at least knock first.” You say, standing up and fixing your outfit. This client was particularly important to your brand- they had asked for a possibility of sponsorship. It would be groundbreaking to collab with them- a grade-a sports team would be amazing to collab with. You just weren’t expecting for him to be here. 

“Good afternoon, Mister… Shugo?” You say, looking down at a clipboard with all your materials. Shugo was a familiar name- you’ve probably heard it somewhere on the radio. “Y/N?- I-it’s you.” The man says, standing up. You freeze. You knew that voice- it’s gotten much deeper though. His tone is laced with curiosity- it almost felt like a dream. You look up to be met by him. His honey blonde hair was slicked to the side better, a hint of softness in his brown eyes. “Atsumu?” You mutter unknowingly. A sense of nostalgia hit you as your eyes scanned him. He looks older- and he’s surely gotten buffer. It felt like a dream, really. To see your high school crush almost more than 5 years apart. Then it came back. The sequence of events that happened leading up to the fight. It still hurt, of course, but not as much. I suppose you’ve gotten over it. You snap back into reality when Atsumu coughs awkwardly. “I’m supposed to meet- Shugo. Shugo Meian. Wh- what are you doing here?” You mutter out. “Shugo sent me. I didn’t know- this was your company.” Atsumu says, tucking his hands in his pocket with a small smile. He was still as smug as ever. You nod hesitantly- you had to give him the benefit of the doubt though. “Take a seat, Mr. Miya. We should start talking about the offer.” You say, pointing to the sofa behind him. He nods, giving you a small smile. Gosh- his smile was just as captivating as it did in high school. You feel yourself getting uncomfortable from your own thoughts- after all, you were over him. Right?

“Thank you so much for this opportunity, Mister Miya.” You say, bowing. After around an hour of deliberating and talking, you ended up with a beneficial deal for both of you. Of course, despite your troubles, you stayed professional. It was slightly amusing how Atsumu’s eyes would linger on you- admiring your figure more than a mere business partner would. “I look forward to working with you, Y/N,” Atsumu says, smiling widely. “Hey- uh- do you miss… Suna? and Osamu?” Atsumu asks, a bit hesitant. He’s not sure whether you’d like that because of the incident- but your eyes light up in excitement. “Well, a bit,” That was an understatement, of course. “I assume Osamu became a chef like he always wanted?” You ask curiously. You recall Osamu sharing his dreams of being a chef at lunch, a bright smile on his face every time he thought of it. Atsumu nods and you sigh in relief. “Well- you should catch up with us! Osamu’s finally coming back to town.” Atsumu says- which caught you off guard. Of course, you missed them a lot, but- it would bring back a lot of unpleasant memories. Eh, whatever. Seeing them for a bit wouldn’t hurt. “I mean- sure- but-” “Great! Here’s my number.” Atsumu says, scribbling down his number on a random card. “S-Shugo's number is on there as well- by the way,” Atsumu says, chuckling awkwardly. You nod, taking the card. Would you regret this? I dunno.

That day, you ended up in one of the fanciest nightclubs in town, Energize. It was pretty popular amongst rich people and Atsumu had volunteered to pay for everything anyway. You were seated in a booth, quietly waiting for your ex-teammates. Your heart was beating in anticipation- would they look different? You were sure Osamu still had his signature gray hair and Suna’s soft floofy brown hair. Your main concern was if they would show up or not. It was 15 minutes over what time they agreed, and you were getting hesitant. Was this a mistake? Your mind flashed back to the pile of paperwork and you sighed. You took out your phone, checking your texts.

Y/N This is Atsumu Miya, I presume? Atsumu - High School Y/N!! you texted !! Y/N ヽ(￣▽￣)ノ Are we still meeting up tonight? Atsumu - High School yeah yeah ofc !! suna and osamu already said yes :) Y/N I’m excited to meet them :DD Atsumu - High School they’re excited to meet you too btw u don’t have to be that formal with me lol Y/N Ah, no worries. I like being formal. Where are we meeting up? Atsumu - High School Energize, 8 pm tonight don’t be late :DD Y/N I’ll be there. 

You cringed at some particular parts of your conversations- had you always been this dry? You huff as you look around further, looking for a huddle of boys. There’s no one in sight that looks like them- and with that, you roll your eyes. It was an empty promise anyways- he never meant anything he said anyway. You stuff your phone into your pocket and head off before- you heard something. “Oi Tsumu, where the hell are they? We’ve been looking for them all over the place!” A voice says- Osamu. You would recognize that voice everywhere- were they really that blind? You turn around before being greeted by 3 males, one of them being Atsumu. “Y/N? Is that you?”

The air felt awkward yet soft as you fiddled with your nails. Atsumu had rented out a private booth for the 4 of you, blocking out all the noise and music. You leaned back on your chair, trying to observe your friends. Osamu had darker hair now- with fluffed-up ends. Suna, on the other hand, still has his signature fluffy brown hair, it just has more volume in it. “Osamu, you’re a chef, Atsumu tells me?” You finally speak up, the silence getting overbearing. Osamu’s eyes light up and he puts on a small smile. “Yeah. Osamu’s Onigiris- Doesn’t it sound nice?” Osamu asks excitedly and you nod. “I’m happy for you, Samu.” You slightly cringe- it was too soon to use that nickname. “What about you? What did you end up… becoming?” Suna asks, leaning on his elbow. “I’m a designer now. I own a company- it’s pretty small though.” You say, chuckling. “I knew it. You’ve always been good at drawing and design and… stuff.” Osamu says, a proud smile on his face. You felt a bit comforted by them, a sense of happiness. It felt nice- just to escape reality for a moment and be with your old friends. Atsumu, however, felt a little different. His heart was beating quicker by the second, and you could swear you saw him blush when he saw you. You could say that he was crushing on you.

The loud music was deafening as you made your way through the crowd, hanging on Suna’s shoulder. Everything felt vibrant as you looked around- people dancing, making out, and having fun. It’s been a long time ever since you loosened up and had fun so this was great. Osamu was laughing his head off about something and Atsumu was blabbering about how he was plucking girls from all over the country. After that awkward encounter, Atsumu had volunteered for heavy drinks and well, this was the outcome. “Mmmh- I think I need another drink,” Osamu says, pointing to some chairs. “Yes. Let’s get a few shots- then go home- because I feel like throwing up.” Suna says, a slight smirk playing on his face. “Mister bartender! 4 shots of vodka please!” Atsumu shouts as you all slump against the table. “Yo, Y/N, question… are you single?” Osamu asks as the shots arrive. You nod your head. Your love life so far has been a little boring… just a few hook-ups and dates along the way but no one really stuck. “Ah, you’re the same with Tsumu then!” Osamu says, giggling. Atsumu rolls his eyes and downs the shot in an attempt to push out what Osamu just said. “I mean- ever since you broke up with him, his girlfriend literally broke up with him too- and he never got over you- aFTER 6 YEARS!” Osamu says, chuckling. Atsumu nearly choked on his drink as he processed what Osamu just said- “Excuse me?” You questioned, glaring at Osamu. It takes Osamu a big fat second to realize what he said before a light blush colored his cheeks. “Hey, Suna! Didn’t you say you wanted to check out the toilet earlier?-” Osamu asks suddenly, standing up and picking Suna up by the hoodie. “Wait what?-”

“That was an interesting comment… wasn’t it, Atsumu?” You muttered, downing your shot. Atsumu shoots you a small glare before his cheeks flare in embarrassment. “I mean- Osamu is- a bit correct- I’m still single- but- that wasn’t true, I’m over you- pfft-” Atsumu said, giggling nervously. You chuckled because you’ve noticed that he’s grown more transparent over the years- you can see by the tone of his voice. “Are you sure, Tsumu?” You ask teasingly, leaning in slowly. Atsumu’s eyes widen before downing the rest of his shot. “Y-yes- I’m sure- of course-” Atsumu stutters, a light pink blush on his cheeks. You could just remember that Atsumu did the same thing to you, in high school. The way he made you flutter and smile joyfully- it was amusing. “I’m joking, Atsumu.” You said, giggling as you saw his flustered reaction. “Mmmm- I feel sleepy.” You said as your eyelids feel heavier. “Would you like to go home?” Atsumu asks, fixing your hair a little. He’s grown softer over the years, definitely. Honestly, at first, you’d be very mad at Atsumu if you weren’t drunk, but you were tired. It had been a long day- a small ride home would be okay, right?

“I’m sorry I ended up dragging you to my house.” You said softly, turning on the lights as you stumble into the apartment. Wasted, was the only thing that was right to describe you. Atsumu was right behind you, hoisting your arm up even though he was drunk himself. “No worries Y/N. I wouldn’t want you to stumble over and hit yourself.” Atsumu says as you lay down on the sofa. “Do you want me to get you a cup of water? Some meds, or anything?” Atsumu asks, observing you. You shake your head softly, yawning. “I’ll get you some food, wait here a second,” Atsumu says, standing up. Your head feels heavy against the cushions of the couch- and you feel worn out and tired. “Here you go- some bread, and meds- to avoid headaches,” Atsumu mutters, handing you a pill and a plate of chocolate bread. “Thank you, Tsumu.” You say, starting to eat up the bread. Atsumu’s heart fluttered at your nickname, a visible blush on his cheeks. “Hey, Tsumu, was Osamu really telling the truth? Back at the bar?” You ask softly. You’re currently leaning against Atsumu’s arm, him visibly flustering around your touch. He was definitely caught off guard by your question- a light blush coloring his cheeks. “Yeah. Sure. I guess you could say he was telling the truth.” He chuckles, hoping you wouldn’t kick him off the couch. “Why?”  was the only thing you could say. He sighed softly, sitting you up- a serious conversation, you noted. “I mean… somedays, I just remember how I treated you like shit. How I used you for my own benefit- it’s funny, really, how my feelings have grown over the years. I remember that day, the day you snapped- I was okay with it at first- I saw you as merely a game- but sooner or later I missed you- I missed the way you’d laugh at my cringy jokes, the way you attended every practice I had.” Atsumu mutters, looking down. His tears are threatening to spill and he lets out a breathy chuckle. And it’s so stupid because you can’t love me back. Not after the way, I hurt you and the way you ran off like that- I’m so stupid for loving you… aren’t I?” Atsumu asks. He looks up at you, a small smile playing on his face and he’s on the brink of tears. Back then, he could lie to you so easily- it was as if your feelings didn’t matter to him- but you were surprised to find out that the feelings you had for him… were returned. After all these years, he was willing to give his heart to you. You felt bad for him- of course, he’d think you hate him. You did, really, that day, you cried- you considered moving to another school- but here you were, sitting in front of Atsumu after he had just confessed. “Please say something. I- I won’t be mad if you say you hate me.” Atsumu mutters quietly. You sigh- what do you say?

“Atsumu. Look at me, please?”

He raises his head up to be met by a soft smile. “Tsumu. I don’t hate you, okay?” You say. Even if you’re drunk, your opinion on Atsumu was clear enough. “Yes, I was hurt. You had a girlfriend and you were flirting with me- of course, I was hurt.” You quickly said, looking down. “But I don’t know- you make me feel safe. Even after all those years and I saw you- my feelings all erupted once I saw you. Not gonna lie- it felt shitty- the man who broke my heart stand right then and there.” You gave out a breathy chuckle. Unknowingly, Atsumu was staring right at you with hopeful eyes, hoping for you to say that you loved him back. “Atsumu… I like you, aswell- but I just wanna know if you’re playing games with me. I don’t wanna be some kind of rebound- I don’t wanna raise my hopes up just for you to destroy them.” You muttered softly. “Yes, of course! I- I actually like you this time. You make me so happy, I promise-” Atsumu says, leaping into your arms very suddenly. You yelp at the sudden hug, feeling- inflicted.

“I never got to apologize for my actions- I’m so so sorry- I love you, I love you,” Atsumu mutters into your neck, causing you to giggle. It was amusing- to see Atsumu so flustered over you. “Tsumu. It’s okay, I forgive you.” You mutter softly, petting his hair. Atsumu pulls away, a drunken smile on his face. “C-can I kiss you? I didn’t get a chance to last time…” Atsumu asks slowly, a red blush on his face. You giggle softly- goddamn if he wasn’t cute. “Okay, you can kiss m-” You say slowly, before being interrupted by Atsumu’s lips on yours. His lips are sweet tang against your tongue, and his breath is warm and messy against your lips. You’ve dreamt of this moment since you first laid your eyes on him- his lips against yours, and you’re both a warm ball of happiness. Another life came quicker than expected for Atsumu, but he wasn’t complaining. He got to be with you anyways.

[firelord-frowny]

kinda re: that last post, 

I totally get that In This Day And Age, it’s difficult to believe that a bigot’s mind could be changed about anything at all, but it does happen! 

Case in point: kids from ~conservative~ families who enter college as annoying ass racist lil pissbaby wimps, and graduate as radical antifas lmao. 

I had a good pal in college that went through that transformation omg. One of the first conversations I ever had with her included a whiny lil tirade about how she ~hates reverse racism~ and ~black people think they’re entitled to everything~. A year later, she was often the first person to speak up in defense of a person of color any time somebody said some Racist Ass Shit. I remember her whining about Romney having lost to Obama. For the next election, she was volunteering for Bernie Sanders’ campaign. 

and not that this bit has anything at ALL to do with her character, because it doesn’t, but when i met her, she described herself as a straight, cis*, christian woman. She wore long skirts, and kept her hair super long. A couple years later, she’d shaved her head, come out as ace, and i don’t recall exactly how she described her gender experience, but i’m pretty sure she did express being something other than cis, and that she wasn’t picky about pronouns. And I think she maintained a belief in a god, but expressed that she wasn’t necessarily committed to practicing christianity in any special or public way. 

Obviouslyyyyy the fact that she turned out to be Not Straight and Not Cis Not Entirely Christian is not at all indicative of her having become a better person. Like. I’m not saying that she came to all these realizations as a result of no longer being bigoted. What I am saying is that being in an environment that taught her to open her mind a lil bit gave her the freedom and confidence to start to understand herself in a context other than the narrow one she’d been brought up with. 

And like, i am SO SURE that she wouldn’t have experienced all those changes of heart if she hadn’t suddenly been thrust into a social circle filled with black people and gay people and and people who spoke openly about ~progressive~ ideals, and almost more importantly, people who had FUN together. There was always so much laughter among everyone. Everyone was always excited for everyone else when someone had something Good happen in their life. Everyone was always saying something kind to someone else - gosh, you’re so pretty. wow, your recital was amazing. you’re so smart, thanks for helping me with my project. blah blah blah. 

She was having more fun with these people than she had with the sad, boring bigots she’d been closest with before, and I don’t think she would have changed her mind about things so rapidly and drastically if that hadn’t been the case. 

[ashelbygirl]

Dishonorable intentions. | Thomas Shelby x Reader Imagine.

Part I.

*Sidenotes: So... yesterday I was watching the notebook and thought it would be cute to do this! I totally stole the idea from there so... hope you like it.

*Resume: You’re a volunteer nurse in France, that when you meet Thomas. Months later he goes looking for you.

Thomas saw YN the first moment he arrived to the tent that served as “hospital” for the British soldiers. Her beautiful smile was the first thing he saw when he got there. He was walking, everything in him was numb, so numb he didn’t even realized almost every part of his body was wounded or fractured. He was stunned by her. They were seconds but Tommy could bet she walked in slow motion just so he could registered her face and never forget her. And then, she met his gaze. Her smile vanished while she ran to get to him. He looked terribly and YN was pretty sure he was going to die. But Tommy didn’t die. Soon, the doctors and other nurses arrived and helped him, his eyes began to close after seeing her smile ran away, after that he didn’t seem to remember anything else. He does remember thinking YN wasn’t supposed to be there. She was way to perfect, way to innocent, way to pure. Tommy could see the way she walked, the way she talked and he knew she wasn’t a street girl. She was classy in every single way, she was well educated and god she was beautiful. Her body, her face, her lips, her eyes. He wanted her and he’ll get her. Thomas didn’t remembered ever wanting someone as much as he wanted her. Tommy was in shock, and not for the beautiful girl who stole his mind, but because of everything that just went down right in front of him. Dani was going to get killed, Freddie was going to get killed and he was certainly going to get killed if he didn’t attacked those french soldiers and it wasn’t until two days later when YN arrived next to him to help him get up, that his mind went on again. It was like the pause was gone and everything came back to him just in a second.

YN on the other hand, was on her last year of college when she volunteered as a nurse’s aide for the First World War. She was a student on Sarah Lawrence College in New York. A british girl living in the new world. YN was a well known socialite who always felt like a misfit. YN always wanted more and in her biggest dreams, she wanted to became the first woman to be lawyer even if that wasn’t allowed, she knew since a toddler that the rules were made for being broken and creating you own. Her family being one of the wealthiest families in Europe made sure that their little girl could do anything she wanted, even if that was studying. Her dad was a big lawyer while her mother was an artist, her brother was a student in law school and also her best friend and confident, before he was called to service their country and went to fight in representation of England.

YN could still remember the day he said goodbye. She flew from Manhattan to London the same day she found out her brother, Alex was leaving for war. Funny thing was she never thought it would be the last day she would see her brother. He left. Months went by and no one had any idea of how or where Alex was, if he was dead or alive, it was unknown and for someone that loved control and knowing everything, it was killing YN. So she made a decision. She was celebrating the holidays at London with her parents when she got the news that the government needed nurses to go to war. They needed nurses that would be sent to France so they could help the wounded soldiers. So she enlisted herself and a month later she was in France trying to help whoever she could, with the hope of finding Alex in one of those injured man that needed her help. She was determinate to find him. To her, the broken man with shattered bodies who filled the war were all her brother or someone who fought beside him.

So there she was, in a tent that tried to be a hospital or at least the closest thing to it, at the middle of the night trying to take care of at least 50 men only at her watch. Checking in every single one of them every time she had the chance. Praying for one of them to be Alex. She was exhausted, her eyes didnt have the light that distinguished her anymore and you could sense how tired she was. She was about to lost her hope. She wanted to go home but she wasn’t the type of girl who would just give up. YN walked to one of the men who’s injuries where pretty serious. He was really beaten up. If she remembered correctly, he attacked some French soldiers while trying to save his mates but the results were him having fractured ribs and her face looking crazy with bruises and blood, while his leg was also fractured. There was something mysterious about him. He didn’t speak. Not once. He had two days there and not even a single word came out from his mouth, but YN wasn’t intrigued or shocked about it as the other nurses seemed to be, she was very busy trying to find her brother while saving the life of hundred of men to even look at him. Oh but when she did.

-Sir? I’m gonna lift you up, is that okay? We need you to start moving your body so it doesn’t get numb okay? -YN didn’t even waited for an answer before she started to hold him with all her strength and made him sit on the bed he was laying seconds ago.- Okay! There we go. Now I’m gonna bring this leg over. -She talked to him with a smile on her face. She was a true believer that a smile could save someone’s life. YN started to help him put his leg down on the floor.- Set it on the stool. Are you okay?

-Tommy. Thomas.- The blue eyed man spoke for the first time in days and she was pretty surprised. It could only meant he was starting to recover from the trauma. The thing was YN wasn’t sure who was Thomas or why he was looking for him, so she wasn’t sure what he was trying to say.

-Hm?-She grumped while taking his temperature and vitals. There was something strange about this guy, but being so close to his face made YN feel safe. Safe even when everything could explode in just seconds.

-I mean... My name is Thomas, Thomas Shelby.- Something strange happened in Tommy, he was really nervous and could feel his hands sweat every time she came close to him. He didn’t knew what was going on but the girl standing in front of him made him nervous, even when she also made him feel like home. YN didn’t knew this but for Thomas, being close to her made him feel secure. It made him feel better. It helped him forget or deal with everything that’s has been going on.

-Well, nice to meet you Thomas... I’m YN, YN Casiraghi.- She said with a true smile on her face.- So, Thomas, how are you feeling?

-Miss, can I ask you a question?- It was like Thomas didn’t listen to the question she just asked and YN didn’t do anything but get out a sight.

-Hmm?

-I noticed that you aren’t wearing a ring and I was wondering if I could take you out.-Tommy looked into her eyes trying to know what would the response to his proposition would be.

-Excuse me?- YN was surprised for the straightforwardness that Tommy had but she did was getting used to soldiers asking her out, the only difference was that normally, other soldiers would try to get know her first and even when they did that, YN always made them clear that she wasn’t interested. Oh but not with Thomas Shelby. She was interested.

-On a date. I was wondering If I could take you out on a date. And before you go and say no, I’ll have you know that I’m an excellent dancer and my intentions are completely dishonorable.-He started to cough after de efforts he had been doing, even if it was just minutes.- I want you YN and I’m gonna get you.

-Ok Casanova, come on. Let’s put you down. -She talked while laughing a little bit, she was sure he was crazy or probably just drugged.-How about this, let’s just get you better and then we’ll talk about a date ok?- YN just chuckled while she helped Thomas lay on the bed again.- Good night Thomas.

-Goodnight love.

Hours after her talk with Tommy, YN got the news she feared to get. Alex was dead and the body was never found. She could feel everything in her world turn into pieces. Everything was over now. She didn’t think it twice and left. Hours later she was on a plane that would take her back to London, a plane that would take her back to her old back. Everything was so fast and traumatic that she didn’t even remembered that she had met Thomas. Everything was a blur.

————-

The days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months and later, the months were years. YN graduated from college and deciden to go back to London to try help his father with work and try to apply the things she’d learnt at college. They time went by fast, she tried to go out, meet new people and even date, but there was always something missing. She, yet again, wanted more. She needed passion, she needed rush, adrenaline and someone reckless. She wanted everything she alway read on her favorite books. She wanted all.

Sponge cake, Russian cigarettes, Florentines, sugar tarts, and chocolate chip buns with dry-roasted chocolate bean grué follow in the wake of an exceptional tea selection from the prestigious house TWG. It was a Friday afternoon, she was walking back home from her favorite tea room with her friends on her sides. There is no ritual that YN loved more than the afternoon tea, that special late-afternoon moment of lingering conversations and secrets shared. While YN and her friends walked on the street laughing, YN could notice a car and a man in front of her house. Who was he and why he was waiting there?

-Hm, who’s him sweetheart?-Sophie asked her while eating the man alive with her eyes. Everyone could notice that her friends were undressing the man in their imaginations.

-Omg, he’s so dreamy ! I think I might be in love...-Louise said with a little chuckle. She loved to flirt and her heart was pretty big.- God, YN he’s staring at you!!!

-Shh... he’s probably looking for my dad or something.-YN didn’t even looked at him twice. More like, she didn’t even looked at him at all. She completely ignored him and passed thru him to start looking for her house keys so she and her friends could come inside. But she wasn’t dumb at all, she could feel the eyes of the man piercing her back. He wanted her to turn around. YN didn’t plan on turning around.

-Aye! Miss?- The man shouted at her, and everything froze for her in that moment. Slowly she turned around, even when she knew who was the man standing in there. After all this time, could it be him? He was waiting for her.- I’m all better now, so how about that date? -Thomas started to walk towards her, with an almost imperceptible cocky grin on his face. There was something YN needed to understand, Thomas Shelby always gets what he wants.

[x1protector]

Chef!AU Wooseok

Author’s note: chef au seungyoun exists, so why not,, -Admin V 🌻

p a i r i n g: wooseok au (extend for x gender neutral reader)

g e n r e: fluff; chef au; bullet au

w a r n i n g s: mild language

w o r d  c o u n t: 1k

Chef!AU Wooseok

Read Chef!AU Seungyoun here.

his face speaks model but his hands speak chef

a genius

won so many cooking awards since the age of 12 through the age of culinary school

if it was legal and safe enough to hold a knife before that he would have done it

Well-liked, well-admired, and graduated from a top culinary school with high honors and a stacked resume with fellowships and internships from all over the world

looks cold and intimidating in school, earned the nickname of ice prince by his schoolmates because they saw him in the freezer once and the reflection of his angled features on the glass door just sparks ethereal vibes

is an actual shy baby

Volunteers to teach at a local cooking school for children in his free time, goes around using baby-talk with little kids and giving them cool nicknames

“Teacher Wooseok is this how you flip the pan?”

“That’s correct, Egg Warrior!”

speaks in small font on a daily basis but not many knows bc he doesn't usually have the chance to speak

people get scared when he just looks at them, and only his real friends would know how sassy he is

Jinhyuk: hey can u pass me the salt

Wooseok: no because sodium kills your heart and I need a friend when I'm 60

doesn't like being tied down and prefers to travel for his work

recently got invited to work at a famous restaurant and only accepted because he heard the rival restaurant across is manned by cho seungyoun: his competitor in school

doesn't know why he cares so much but he just really wants to beat seungyoun

Junho: hyung are you sure you're not like,,,,,, in love with him--

Wooseok: do you value your employment?

looks cool as heck in the kitchen though and can do five times the workload of a regular chef

seems bossy but actually cares a lot about his team

will never admit he has a soft spot for anyone

let the team go home early sometimes bc he's "feeling tired" and not because he may or may not have seen junho dropped a pot and bruised his left foot of course not

Super cute when he's in a good mood, or when he’s drunk, goes around giving everyone creampuffs he made at home

When he’s not around everyone just refers to him as Seokseok because he’s such a babie, but no one dares tell him that he’s still their boss let’s be real

Except one time Dongpyo messed up and accidentally called him Seokseokie in the middle of rush dinner hour

Everyone: sh*t.

But Wooseok just moved on like nothing was out of the ordinary, he found out about the name a while back but kept quiet since he actually liked it

Dongpyo: /escapes death yet again!!!

spaces out a lot so Eunsang always has eye drops with him in case wooseok's eyes get dried up

have fought people/customer on sight for bullying his kids, especially the pompous ones who always think their palate is oh so refined and dissed the dishes and compared them to famous chefs abroad

Wooseok: the chef you’re mentioning learned this technique from me what do you mean refined palate my butt im gonna wACK--

Hyeongjun, to the customer: please leave now if you value your life!!!!

not allowed to leave the kitchen, usually to the amount of times he gets mistaken for a handsome college part timer

Honestly, just imagine Wooseok in a fitted white chef button down.. his hair held back by these clips Hyeongjun put on for him... jawlines that can fillet a fish--

When he does leave the kitchen tho, gets hit on by young rich people and middle aged people alike

Has a fan page endorsed by customers and employees of the restaurant, one of the many reasons the many floors of the place is always packed with people

Sneaks out anyway bc he likes seeing the joy on people's faces as they enjoy their food

just a soft baby pls protect

[extend for x reader]

You’re the other chef who volunteered at the little kids’ cooking school

Well, it’s less of a school and more of a recreation center’s cooking class, but Wooseok always refers to it as a school though b/c any sort of educational establishment is school to him

You’re honestly just a culinary student looking for more experience, and teaching seems really fun, especially when your little brother was in class

Speaking of which, he’s earned a nickname from the handsome volunteer the other day and he couldn’t stop saying it

“Egg Warrior! That’s me!!”

You: Wooseok we need to talk

Wooseok: （＾∀＾）?

You know he works at this really famous restaurant downtown, the one that may or may or may not have three dollar signs on yelp, but to you he just seems like a regular guy, unusually good-looking, but a regular guy nonetheless, and you didn’t feel the need to treat him differently as you would anyone else

Wooseok really appreciates you for that

He’s used to praises from everyone, but not a day goes by when he doesn’t feel the awkwardness or uncomfortableness from people besides his staff

It was the same in school, and perhaps that was why he didn’t make many friends

And why he’s so adamant about wanting to beat Seungyoun, he was one of the only friends Wooseok had in that battlefield of a kitchen at school

It didn’t help that you reminded him so much of Seungyoun

Wooseok: so um,,, there’s an event at my workplace today and um,,, do you wanna,,,

[ten years later]

You: yes? and?

Wooseok: do you wanna come with me i mean i’ll be cooking for our guests but do you wanna um come,,, help me but if you’re busy that’s fine foRGEt i asked i’ll just--

You: sure

Wooseok: what

You: do we go after class or should I meet you somewhere?

Wooseok is jumping in his head but on the outside he’s like YEah we can go after class we’ll just take my car no biggie

Tbh he talks about you so much at work everyone knows your name and favorite food and probably your birthday wooseok is limitless when it comes to crushing on you

Dongpyo when he finally takes you to meet his staff: omg finally

The event was a success, and you got to see him looking so c00l at work honestly what a man

Afterward he took you out for ice cream and dropped you off at home by 10

Your little brother the egg warrior: if you’re dating does that mean you’re the egg royalty?

Wooseok: maybe? (〃´∀｀) are you?

You: Kim Wooseok you’re on thin ice

Read Chef!AU Seungyoun here.

–Admin V🌻

[crazykacey]

Com-Myu-nity Survey!

@missemperor​ tagged me on this loong survey (thank you btw <3) and I’m excited to do it! lol

1. What is your hobby?

Playing video games, Youtube (Gaming & music), baking, singing

2. What is your special skill?

Baking I guess xD

3. What are your strengths and weaknesses?

Strengths: I really don’t care what people think of me like if someone comments my clothing or the way I do certain things I’m just like “lol idgaf”. I also am quite a empathetic and sympathetic person

Weaknesses: I get angry quite easily and sometimes I might get angry over super silly and stupid things and after a while I’m just gonna be like “omg why was I mad over such a stupid thing” so I’m sorry if I get mad at anyone over silly things xD

4. What is your favorite color?

YELLOW

5. What is your favorite animal?

a dog or a bunny <3

6. Which food are you into lately?

idk there hasn’t been any new foods that I have liked so much that I would just eat it like a madman but NZ has amazing sushi😍

7. What is the thing you never lose to from anyone?

I’m not really sure if I understand this question correctly but my dignity I guess? For example there are certain things I would NEVER do but then drunk me is like let’s do this but I hold to that small part of dignity still left and don’t do that thing if it makes any sense?

8. What is your most treasured item?

I used to be really materialist but nowadays I don’t care that much about that stuff and I want to treasure the friendships and all other relationships I have rn. (wow that was deep) BUT if I had to choose one I would choose this teddy bear that I’ve had since I was like 2 or 3

9. What is your cooking specialty?

OATMEAL RAISIN COOKIES im coming for you pheebs

10. What is the thing you want the most at the moment?

To fix my fucking mental health

11. What is the thing you are most scared of?

To lose everybody who are dear to me

12. What is the thing you were happy about this year?

That I was able to get to New Zealand (and that I graduated from that hellhole aka high school)

13. What is the thing you were sad about this year?

I don’t actually know XD not that much have happened that has made me sad but if I had to choose one it’s that I had to leave my doggo to Finland ;_;

14. What is the thing you regretted this year?

focusing all my time and energy on people who I thought were my friends but in reality were just really toxic people who didn’t give a shit

15. What is the thing you were angry about this year?

my now ex-friend how just sabotaged everything and didn’t learn from any mistake that she did and just kept being shitty

16. What is the job that gave you a sense of fulfillment this year?

nothing yet lol (hope this volunteer thing does that tho lol)

17. What has changed about you since you entered com-myu-nity?

I have become more confident about speaking about the things I like (still need to work more on that tho lol) and also got more confidence on singing and doing what I like and not being afraid to be who I am (in social media mostly)

18. Which character would you play in Sera myu?

Sailor Venus D44

19. If you were to form a collab now, who would it be with?

omg I already have soo many collabs I have to do but I would like to collab with everyone from the Sera Myu Community or anyone in general (heck if you want to collab with me in any way; music, games etc. just message me I’m always up for meeting new people!)

20. What do you love about Sera Myu nowadays?

That it still exists and is getting more and more love outside of Japan too!

21. Which cast member catches your attention the most at the moment?

Mizuki Yamashita, Shiori Kubo & Rimo Hasegawa <333

22. Which cast member would you want as your significant other?

oh crap idk Hotaru, Rimo or Hironari

23. If you were to marry a cast member, who would it be?

RIMO YES QUEEN

24. If you would go to a deserted island, which cast member would you like to go with you?

For some reason I can only think of Yuu Takahashi so let’s just go with her then XD

25. If you would be born again, which cast member would you want to be?

Mizuki Yamashita or Hotaru Nomoto <33

26. Which Sera Myu production would you want to be a part of?

probs NogiMyu or UNV (so I could just cry my eyes out)

27. If you would create your own kingdom, what kind of country would you want it to be?

kingdom where everyone is equal and everyone lives in harmony (really cliche I know but idc)

28. What is an interesting book or manga you read recently?

omg lol I feel so bad I haven’t had any time for those but I like the Pokemon Special manga! can you just finish BW2 chapter plz

29. What is an interesting movie you watched recently?

Annabelle Comes Home! I don’t care what people say I LIKED IT and that is it. also it is not a movie but I watched the Zambi musicals and OMG THEY WERE SO GOOD I CRIED SO MUCH I RECOMMEND THEM PLEASE WATCH THEM (Especially Team Blue omg the feels ;_;)

30. What is your favorite Sera Myu song at the moment?

Knockin’ Down Hesitation is and will probably always be my favorite Myu song

31. What is your favorite Sera Myu song choreography at the moment?

UNV Ai no Starshine or SKSDK La Moon

32. What is your favorite Sera Myu costume at the moment?

LMF Eternal Sailor Moon or the Shining Moon Tokyo costumes (they are soo sparkly and cute I LOVE IT)

33. What is your favorite Myu at the moment?

Eien Densetsu Kaiteiban is and will probably always be my favorite Myu

34. What is your favorite Myu cast?

Kaguya Shima Densetsu Kaiteiban (Team Moon is also pretty cool tbh)

35. Is there something you say a lot recently?

irl: oh guurl, nasty

in social media: omg, lol, XD

36. What would you do if you could plan a Fan Kansha?

ALL THE MOONS SINGING LA SOLDIER and releasing the WHOLE Fan Kansa recording and throwing all the actors out of the recoring room cause that unnecessary yapping from them over the recording was SOO ANNOYING

37. What do you hope to see Sera Myu doing in the future?

SAILOR V AND SAILOR MOON R MOVIE MUSICALS!!!

also mixed cast sorry not sorry

38. What kind of person do you want to be in 5 years?

more confident about myself and have better self-esteem

39. What has been a memorable concert or event this year?

haven’t been to any this year

40. What do you want to do in your private life this year?

get my shit and mental health together

41. What kind of job would you like to do in the future?

sounds pretty cliche but maybe a Youtuber?

42. Do you have a hairstyle you would like to try in the future?

I actually have no clue AT ALL. Hair is one of the things I’m so lost with and have no idea what to do with it

43. What Sera Myu merchandise would you love to have?

something cool and useful (don’t get me started on those pins)like posters (maybe signed ones too)

44. Where would you want Sera Myu to come to?

I want Sera Myu to become an international phenomenon where the Myus would be translated and acted in a country’s native language!!!

45. If you could have a holiday with any cast member, what do you want to do?

BEACH HOLIDAY WITH RIMO omg that would be the best thing ever just sun bathing all day long

46. Please say something to your favourite cast member.

girl you are amazing and I’m so proud of you please never stop doing what you love. I would really like to meet you someday and just thank you cause you really inspire me and motivate me to continue to work on my dream. Thank you <3

[imagodwithnodess]

Dance Partner- Park Jisung pt.1

pairing: reader x jisung

genre: fluff

warnings: strong language 

summary: You are the top of multiple categories at the idol school did you attend. Being of a darker skin tone and from America you obviously make yourself work harder than everyone else. Which results in you skyrocketing past you're very jealous arch nemesis. Getting the guy of your dreams and becoming a part of one of the most popular friend groups in the school. You do all of this with nothing but your winning personality and raw talents. With those friends, you proved your Worth to everyone including the people who doubt you.

(Thursday)

“Hey, freak!” I hear from behind me as I close my locker. I know exactly who it is, I turn on my heels to swiftly “hello ladies and gents, how can I help you on the fine day” I say smiling. This is pretty normal to see 6 people blocking my way. “you know what's in 2 weeks? I think you know why we're here” said...well pretty much my arch nemesis, Hwijin.

“Well if my calendar is correct, it's two weeks till the competition,” I say faking a thoughtful look. I go to an idol school. There are competitions every 2 months. You have to have like five songs that you can sing on a dime here, otherwise, you probably will be able to make it. The competitions are really big deal because you get them on your resume and your school record. As a student hear the huge thing.

“That's right y/n, so if you don't drop out of the comp by next Friday w-” she was cut off by the bell ringing “good talk! I think we covered a lot of ground today!” I push off my locker with my foot and shove passed them starting to run. “YOUR LUCKY I HAVE STUFF TO DO OR I WOULD KICK YOUR ASS,” Hwijin says while I'm running “YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THATS BULL SHIT,” I say as I push the door to the school open.

These things are pretty normal since...well let's be Frank, I'm an American on the darker side at a Korean school. Sure, it's an English school and I speak Korean, but that doesn't change the fact that I look like a piece of chocolate in a bowl of white rice. In this school they train you to be an idol, it's also a place idols can get there education, if they want.

I run outside to the parking lot. I put my hand over my eyes to see if I can find a particular car. I search for many 10 or 20 seconds before finding the car of my older sister. “Hey y/s/n!” I say getting in the car. “Hey boo” she says turning down the super junior she had playing. “You excited for the comp in 2 weeks?” She says as she starts driving “yup!” I say bouncing up and down in my seat. “You know what your gonna sing?” “Yeah, I dally” “by Hyolyn!?” she says surprised “mmhmm,” I say nodding slowly and smiling “are you dancing also?” she says smiling “mmmmmhhhhhmm,” I say drawing it out this time. “Omg yes, y/n!!” She says excitedly. I laugh thinking about excited I am about it.

~Friday~ 

“Hey, Mrs. H” I say walking into the my teacher's office “hello y/n!” She says getting up from her desk “ok so I'm not feeling well*fake cough* and I don't think I will be back until-” “next Monday?” She says chuckling “you know my immune system so well” I point the finger guns at her. She chuckles and reaches into her desk pulling out a stack of papers. “All of next week's homework my dear,” she says handing them to me “ good luck on next week's competition,” she says patting me on the shoulder “thanks Mrs. H!” I say putting the papers in my bookbag and heading to my locker for everything else I need.

“Hey! y/n” I hear from behind me. I turn to see who's calling my name. I see a guy, looks to be around my age maybe older “hi, I'm Jeno, Lee Jeno" he holds out his hand so I can shake it “hi Jeno, I'm..well how do you know my name?” I say shaking his hand and looking slightly puzzled. “I'm in your history class, I sit in the back though so you may have not seen me, I know your name, well cuz of the “y/n and Hwijin” thing,” he says putting air quotes around y/n and Hwijin part. “Oohh, okay that makes sense, how can I help you,” I say smiling “well my friend wants to ask you something but he's too scared too, his name is jisung” my eyes widen a but “park jisung, " I say baffled. He nods his head excitedly “is afraid to talk….to me” I say still baffled, Jeno nods his head excitedly once more. “About what?” I say chuckling as i close my locker. “Well he wants you to dance with us, Since we're down a person, our friend Mark graduated last year and he was a big part, jisung thought it would be cool if you danced and sang with us” my eyes light up “I would love too!” I say hugging him. “ wait but if you just asked me, why do I need to talk to jisung?” I ask leaning against my locker “well he….we just want him to talk to you directly” I squint my eyes at him “mkey” he laughs at my expression “gimmie your phone” I reach into my pocket and give it to him, unlocking it beforehand. “Wacha doin,"i say after a few seconds “I'm putting my name in your phone, are you free next week?” He says giving me my phone back “Yeah but I won't be in school all next week, I won't be back until after the comp, I always try to catch up on volunteering, when I'm out of school. And since we're all so busy I have a lot of volunteering to do” I say chuckling at the last part. “well text me, ok?” he asks in a tone that makes me think he believes I won't text him back. “I will promise,” I say walking away. I'm fascinated to hear what jisung has to say.

~next day~

I just got out of the theaters with my sister a couple of her friends, and a couple of mine. When I get a text from Jeno

Jeno😋

Hey!😁

Y/n

Hey, what's up my man🤗

Jeno😋

What are you doing Tuesday night?

Y/n

that night I volunteered to help out at school, since I'm not in school this week I'm helping grade papers and clean up the school, kinda like detention but I can listen to music, practice, and I'm getting paid, like 30 bucks🤣

Jeno😋

I wasn't with it up until you said you get paid😂 but I'm asking because we told just jisung that we were going to meet up somewhere on Tuesday night. The thing is he's actually meeting up with you. the plan is that he's going to meet up with one of us and then they are going to take him Wherever You Are, and then he'll have to talk to you. He's too nice not to😂😂

Y/n

That seems a tad cruel...but hey I'm not one to pass up a  scheme🤣. I'm down

Jeno😋

Ok good, you and he will get along great!

Y/n

I hope so! Otherwise, this will be really awkward🤣

Jeno😋

Trust me y/n👌

Y/n

Ok, I trust you😊

By the time our text conversation, I'm in the car with my sister and our friends. I close my phone and smile to myself. “Oooo, what are YoU smiling about” my friend Amanda says. “Just the competition”

I say laughing.

~Tuesday~

I get to the school and put in the password for the student workers door since it's a pretty big place the School hires student workers. We don't get paid much, but it goes toward our grades and things like that.

I put in my headphones and put dally on repeat. I work for 6 hours at a time, it's about 6 right now so I clock in and get to work, I know jeamin is bringing jisung at some point but i have preformed and fucked up so many times embarrassment isn't in my vocab anymore.

*time skip*

It's about 8 and I'm currently in the chem lab. i take a break to practice a bit pushing the tables back. The dance is a little teasing but still appropriate. I get to the chorus and start dancing my heart out, making sure I got this choreo and the singing, I take out my headphones at this point. Because dancing with those in is a nightmare. I put my phone on the table. And start performing for no one.

I hear the door open but at this point its 30 more seconds to the song so I decided to simply carry on until the song was over.

I turn around sweating and smile at jaemin, we met Monday to discuss the plan so that i would be more comfortable “hi min!” I say skipping over to him jumping in him, hugging strongly “heeeeyyyy!” he says laughing. “ Wheres jisung?” I ask looking around him “ he saw you dancing and when you were done he ran, he's probably in the caf trying to calm himself down and try to make his face less red” he says chuckling at the last part. “Okey, let's go then, oh wait, how did you do on your English test today!”I ask hoping he did well “well, I kinda got a C-.....this is a weird question but, isn't English your first language?” He asks scratching the back of his head “indeed it is my boy, would you like a new English tutor?” I ask knowing the answer “holy shit yes! That would be awesome.. we could all use a tutor really especially jisung" he says laughing as he laughs it makes my crack up as well.

After laughing for a while we made our way the caf. I see jisung sitting through the window the giant cafeteria and I start to open the door. Jaemin stops me by putting his hand on my shoulder. “ I'm gonna go, introduce yourself and just let the rest flow, you got this” he says knowing how nervous I am. I turn to him and hug him before nodding my head and putting my hand on the handle of the door. I open it and Jisungs head snaps around he smiles and gets and walking towards me. As he walks closer i see how much taller than me he is. “Hi" i say sticking out my hand “I'm y/n, y/n y/l/n” he shakes it while laughing “I know, it's really cool to meet you, I'm jisung park” I laugh as well “I know, and same” we bring our hands down and there's an awkward silence “so, what do you do now” I think for a second or 2 “well you could help me work while we talk, get to know each other” I realize how dumb and boring that sounds “actually let's not, you probably don't want to wo-”  “no no, I love that idea" he says smiling putting his hands on my shoulders reassuring me. I blush but thanks to my complexion he can't see it. “Cool! Let's go!” I say grabbing his hand and running where I put my cleaning stuff. We clean and talk for a while laughing and enjoying each others company. We find out that we both love memes and video game, guaranteeing that references will be made. As we are mopping one of the bigger classrooms jisung stops and looks at me. “What's up,” I say giggling at his expression. “Can I ask you a personal question?” He says leaning on the mop “sure!” I say stopping my actions and walking over to him, giving him my full attention “what's it like being in this school and being..uh” he stops trying to choose the right words. “darker than almost everyone within 500 miles?” I say laughing “yeah," he says chuckling “well it's not all bad, most people are pretty excepting, most people don't even mention it, but you do have certain people who, well are uncomfortable with me being around, but everyone goes through that” he nods his head. At this point, he is sitting at a desk and I'm sitting on said desk. “But I still meet people like, Jeno, jaemin, and you, I have met Renjun and Chenle couple times, we have some of the same classes, they have talked to me a bit about comps and stuff, haechen is in like 2 of my classes, people like you guys make me feel at home” I say looking straight in front of me.  “Ok last question I promise, “ he says putting his hands up “k, what's up?” I ask looking at him “what's with the “y/n and Hwijin” thing, I have heard it a couple of times, but I'm confused,” I sigh “iit's a long story, you sure you want to hear it?” He perks up “oh my God yes” I giggle at this “ok so Hwijin had been the top singer, dancer, and rapper, for our grade  she wanted to be a part of you guys friend group so bad, she worked pretty hard on it” I explain “our friend group?” He asks “yeah, every one of you is the top of a male category, or in the top three of the entire School. So naturally, she wanted to be in your friend group. Also I think she has a huge crush on Jeno” he scrunched his nose “them together would be so gross" he cringes “I know right!?”we both shudder “anyways” I continue “ when I got here two years ago, I knew that I had to work 10 times as hard and 20 times as good in order to be called equal to everyone else. So I worked harder than I ever had before for the first competition that I did hear” he nods understanding “ normally I would just dance, or just sing, or just rap. But in my first competition, I knew that I would have to do all 3 in order to be as good as everyone else, the thing that I didn't count on is winning the first competition that I ever did hear. Apparently, it took Hwijin  5 whole times to just be in the top three” he raises his eyebrows impressed. “ about six months after that I won my second competition. I had done about 2 in between but this time I stepped my game up, singing an American Korean mashup that I made myself, dancing to it, and rapping to it. That secured me being the top of all three of those categories in our grade sections, with that everybody started wondering not if, but when I was going to end up being friends with you guys” he insists stunned that all of this was happening and he didn't even know. “ so basically I dethroned her.” I laughed causing jisung to start laughing as well. He stops and looks at me with a serious expression “I need to ask you something else” he says “sure” I say also getting serious “ so I don't know if you want to do this, but our lead rapper, and Lead all around really. She graduated last year. And we need another person.” I smile knowing what he's about to say “ I was wondering if you would want to perform with us?” He says almost so quiet that I can't hear him. “I would love that,” I say getting up and holding out my hand. He gets up as well and I engulf him in the biggest hug I can conjure. I pull back to see Jisung’s face red as a tomato. “Sorry,” I say starting to back up. “No!-” jisung says pulling me back into a hug. “You give really good hugs,” he says, “thanks," I say embracing his tall frame. “Why do you always take a week off before comps?” I pull away and smile “Plain Jane and her goons always come after me about a week for competitions. To try to mess me up, so that I won't be able to perform” his eyes widen “are you serious!?” He says concerned “yeah, it's no biggie though, I'm used to it," I say shrugging “ well one thing's for sure, she will never be able to do that again,” he says petting my curly hair. I smile and we go back to cleaning. We finish up and it's time to go home. “I had a lot of fun tonight"i say clocking out  “me too, I know we just met but i feel like i’ve known you for ages” i smile at his words “i feel the same” i say walking to the door, “what are you doing anything on thursday” I open the door and realize he just asked me out “umm no I'm not actually why?” I say still with my back turned to him not wanting him to see my giddiness. “Well...uh..I.. just thought umm..” he stutters and fumbles over his words. I turn and hold his face in the palm of my hands. I just met him but I feel so close to him already “this is nice"he chuckles leaning into my hand. He sighs and takes my hands “uhh, wow this is so much harder then I wanted it to be” I giggle and reassure him. “How about this, we can go to the movies with the boys and we'll sit by ourselves and we can call it auuhh, hangout. That way you don't have to say anything"i smile at him “that sounds really nice,” he chuckles once again. I pull his forehead down and get on my tip toes, I kiss him on the forehead. “Okey, text me" I say running to the car where my sister is. “I will!”he says walking towards a the only other car in the parking lot. The window rolls down to reveal jeno is driving. “Hi jeno!!!"i yell across the parking lot “hi y/n!!!”he yells back. I hop in the car. My phone buzzes as I talk to my sister

Jisung😍😜

Hey, I'm really excited about Thursday!

I laugh at the name he put for himself

Y/n

Me too!

I smile to myself. This will be fun.

~Thursday~

I Wake up normally at about 6 knowing I don't have school I do a lot of the homework I have until about 3. I then spend the rest of the day up until that reading, playing video games, and looking at memes. I get a text from jeno

Jeno😋

Hey! Are you ready to leave, we'll be there at like 10

Y/n

Yeah, I'll be ready by then👌

Jeno😋

Kk, see ya!

I close my phone and head to the bathroom, i do my usual makeup, and usual hair routine, then go and pick my favorite “to the movies” outfit. After that i walk out of my room sitting on the couch. My sister and her partner are at work so i'm home alone. My phone buzzes

Jeno😋

Come outside!

I pick up my bag and run out of the door locking it, then running down a flight of stairs to get to the parking lot. I look around and see a car of rowdy boys. I smile and jog over to the car opening the passenger seat door. “Hey guys!” i say getting into jenos moms van, he borrows it when all the boys want to travel together. “Heey” jeamin says “how are you?” renjun asks “other then the fact that the comp is this week and i'm practically shitting bricks..i'm good!” you say making them laugh “hey i can help you practice if you want” you hear from the back knowing it's jisung “omg that would be great! I need a fresh pair of eyes on the routine to tell me if anything wrong i say turning around to face them “oh jisung would looove to be a fresh pair of eyes for you” chenle says jisung blushes and i quickly turn to the road ahead as jaemin is about to say something i plug in my phone to the aux and start playing music. “Ohhhh shit i love this song!!” i hear heachen say making my smirk at my genius save. I start dancing and having fun as well. We all sing to the lyrics and know all of the words. I see jeno shaking his head as i annoyingly sing to him, making him laugh. We get to the theater and i force jeno not to turn off the car as we park wanting to finish dancing to the song. I hop out as well as everyone else that was in the car dancing the choreography to shine by pentagon. I laugh as the song ends and take my phone off the aux cord.  All 7 of us walk to the ticket counter. Jeno walks up “hi can i get 7 for aquaman, umm 2 kids 5 adults” we all look at each other wondering who it's going to be that gets the kid tickets. He turns around and everyone looks at my and jisung us being the youngest\. He jives one to jisung then passes straight over me and gives the other to chenle. “What!? I'm older than her!” he says pointing at me “well physically..but she has more brain cells than the 2 of you combined” he says walking away making me almost fall to the ground in laughter. “The funny *wheeze* the funny thing is *gasp* i have like 4!!*laughing even harder* SO HOW MANY DO YOU HAVE!” i say dying with laughter making everyone else laugh just as hard. After that we make our way to concessions buying loads of snacks. “Ok so the movie doesn't start for a while so we can just sit out here and chill. We find a bench and about four of us sit down, i keep standing along with a couple of others dancing to the music in my heart slightly. Jisung starts dancing with me. “Hey y/n, i have an idea” jeamin says “shoot” i say telling him to go ahead. “Come to school tomorrow, we can protect you, i'm sure everyone want to see you before the comp “i cant” i simply say as i keep dancing. “Oh come on what's the worst that could happen” jeno says “i don't think you guys understand,” i say pausing my movements “she has damn near broken my jaw not allowing me to sing. She has sprained my ankle so that i can dance….” i pause and inhale and exhale “she almost broke my vocal cords” i say making them grow quite realizing how serious this is. I shake my head continuing. “She’s normally all talk, all bark no bite. But the week before comps puts her in this weird thing. Her moms a teacher so she has access to the roster. She probably knows that i haven't backed down. She WiLL come after me. I'm not putting you guys through that” i say smiling at them “well if you that uncomfortable..we will come over tomorrow night!” chenle says brightening the mood “i would love that!” i say jumping up and down making them smile. We talk more and go in when it's time.

I remember that this is a date and whisper to jisung as we are walking in “how are we going to get alone, without it being super obvious” “i got this.” he whispers back  “hey y/n and i have already seen this so we're going to sit somewhere else so that we don't disrupt with commentary” he says and starts walking. We find a place and sit down high fiving one another. We whisper extremely quite so that we don't ruin the movie for anyone. “What's your favorite part?” he whispers “the last 20 minutes of the movie” i say chuckling “saame” he says dapping me up. “Can i ask you something..outside?” he says “yeah sure” i say putting my stuff down.

Jisung holds my hand as he leads me to the hall. He turns to me “do you trust me” he aks seriously i star chuckling “jisung we ju-” “do you...trust me” he says stepping closer holding my waist. I nod my head yes “then believe me when i say this. Hwijin, will NEVER have the chance to even touch you EVER again. You gut that, i won't allow it” he says putting his forehead on mine i close my eyes feeling tears build up behind them, he cares so much, i can see the pain in his eyes as he thinks about what's happened to me in the past “your better then her, you always have been and you always will be, you don't have to be scared anymore” i wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his shoulder “thank you” i whisper “y/n, will you be my dance partner” i giggle and pull away. I wipe my tears and look at him in the eyes. “Yes. 100% yes” i say hugging him tighter. I pull away “i-” i'm cut off by a kiss, i have kissed someone before but this, this feels electric like a bolt of lightning struck, in a good way. He pulls away with his eyes still closed, smiling. He opens them and hugs me once more “wait so you're telling me, i can call you my boyfriend?” he blushes and nods his head. “And i'm extremely proud to call you my girlfriend y/f/n” he says putting his chin on the top of my head. “Omg i don't think anything could ruin my week...or year for that matter,” i say making him laugh. We walk back into the theater hand in hand and sit back down. I lay my head on his shoulder as he intertwines our fingers, making me smile even more. I put my chin on his shoulder looking up at him “if you want me to come to school tomorrow i will, now that i have a knight in shining armor” i whisper “i would love that y/n” he says kissing my forehead. We turn to the movie and keep watching and whispering to each other. The movie ends and we walk to where everyone else is keeping from holding hands until we were ready to tell everyone. “Omg that movie was so good!” heachan says. “Yeah this theater is really nice to, it's a little further but it's worth it” jaemin says “yeah, this was the best movie experience ever!” renjun says as they continue talking “funny he should say that” jisung leans over to whisper. “I was literally just thinking that” i whisper back. “So i have convinced y/n to go to school tomorrow!” jisung says to the boys. All of them are really excited, they know the fear of being bullied they all were once, then one by one mark protected them and took them under his wing.

We walk out of the theater and they drop me home i thank them and say good my goodbyes. Jisung and i try to keep our distance for now so that it won't be obvious. i unlock the door to my sister's apartment and slide down it. Thoughts of jisung and the competition swirled my mind, “holy shit” i whisper. It was all i could muster.

[orderuponthe99prettygrimmdiaries]

2018 🎉

Wow, can you believe it? It’s a new year already! Before anything, a look back at the past year of my life... 

Another wild ride, filled with ups and downs, though I did feel there were lesser downs. Not sure if it was being more conscious or maybe less, or what it was, but I did feel less sad over everything. I knew what was important to me then - family and friends. Something I wish to focus on again this year, and hopefully do an even better job. 

But wow, I finished my studies in May/June, then graduated in October. Did a couple freelance basis stuff/volunteer writing, and even went for a couple interviews. Though clearly nothing worked out, I guess I’m a bit clearer on which path I want to be on. I really do wish to focus a bit on my writing, so I guess that’s something I will work on more this year. Personal blogging, and maybe even getting into TV recaps, but we’ll see. Might not be too cut out for this. But maybe I should be a little less picky about my first real job. Just doing something that I still kinda love, and hopefully will grow to love more.

Speaking of writing, I’d like to thank all the lovely people who have read my works, even personal blog posts, cos that means the world. And those who comment on them too, thank you. Especially happy to see a lot of Rusher fam reading what I wrote for BTR, and knowing that they feel the same. I miss you fam, and I hope you’re all doing well. OMG, and not to forget, getting noticed by both Kendall and James TWICE this year! Was hoping to be noticed by 4/4 but that’s good enough hehe. 

And unexpectedly, I actually made a couple new friends (even though I’m jobless and barely went out) And not just making new friends, but catching up with a couple old ones too. 

Pretty proud of this past year - managing to stay with my daily selfie shtick (did miss out once on PLL’s finale, but made up for it ;)) and monthly writing. Hope to continue with this again too. Got into reading again, BTR scrapbooking too, started a couple new TV series too... Even started learning a bit of German and of course, being part of the Appreciation Team on 7 Cups. 

Said goodbyes to a couple of shows last year too, and some of them having been part of my life for many years. And a couple more coming soon this year too (New Girl & The Originals)... 

Instead of tomorrow, today. 

New opportunities, a new me, a better me. New chances, new beginnings. 

Well, so this year... One of the main things I gotta work on is procrastination. Haha, okay that probably won’t happen, and I think procrastination is just one of the ways I work anyway, soooo... 

Anywho, I realized I need to be more fearless, less self conscious, stop worrying about every little thing and basically overthinking every situation and outcome that is probably never going to happen, and just be the best of me. I need to learn to embrace my regrets, and see the strength in vulnerability. And most importantly, find my confidence, and passion and motivation again. 

And like I said earlier, focus more on family and friends. Gotta say, I probably did the new year right by being a little more thick skinned than usual, sending out New Year texts to my friends. Learning to take the initiative and not regretting it. I actually wanna do that with a couple more people, but we’ll see. 

Reconnecting with friends (which I’m already starting right now), and returning to 7 Cups to appreciate lovely people and help others. 

And of course, I do wish to find love, being the hopeless romantic that I am, but I know some things cannot be rushed and the timing and everything has to work out, so fingers crossed. But in the meantime, gotta work on me. And like my friend said, to moving on from him completely. 

So apart from all these personality stuff, there’s also the things that I wish to accomplish in the next 12 months. 

Well firstly, gotta plan at least like 12 outings with friends so I can finish my contacts since they’re gonna expire and I have only used half in the past 2 years 😅 And I do wish to get into reading more, hopefully get to read at least 4 to 6 new books, excluding Fantastic Beasts’ screenplay that I am already about halfway through. Learn cooking from me mom and maybe even try some new dishes of my own, and of course, get into baking more. 

Most importantly, self care. Drinking more water, having a better skincare routine. Giving time to focus on myself instead of putting too much pressure on myself. 

And of course, definitely gotta find a job. Who knows? I might do a couple internships before I decide on something. Do more freelancing and writing. Daily pics like last year (have only compiled half of 2017′s, and it’s pretty great so far hehe). AND, to focus a bit on my German haha.

Sooo, may 2018 be an amazing for all you lovelies. In health and in wealth, in love and in life. Hope this year will treat all of us right, because we deserve it (and a break from a couple bad years too #justsaying). CHEERS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

Xx 

[imnotmessedup-blog]

How to Deal with the Frightening Fact That You’re Becoming an Adult

by Ace Mamaril 

     Alright y’all, I haven’t written in a while and I apologize for that; I’ve been really busy with school, work, and band stuff. Before anything else, I’d like to thank my friend, Kristine, for giving me an idea on what to write next. I honestly ran out of ideas. And I’d also like to thank YOU for reading this blog entry. :)

     I am aware that most of my friends and the people around me are almost adults now. Ergo, they (and you!) must feel pressured and frightened about what lies beyond our teenage years. I’ve also felt this way before. When I graduated from High School, instead of being joyous and excited I was completely terrified and anxious. You see, my biggest fear is not being in control. Honestly, I’m a control freak. And I felt like my youth was slipping away from my grasp. It felt like I was in a roller coaster to adulthood; I was going to get there before I was ready and I couldn’t do anything to stop this roller coaster of life. I thought, gone are the merry days when my biggest problem was just how my crush will notice me. I had to face real life problems.

     After High School, I worked as a (y’all will not believe this) service crew in a fast food chain. I stopped studying for a while in order to have a taste of the real world. And believe me, it was a NIGHTMARE. I can say I went to hell and back just to be where I am today because of that experience (TA song reference!).  But even though it was hard and I hated most of it, I also learned a lot from this job. I met a lot of people that made me realize how I shouldn’t take things for granted and how grueling it is to earn money. That experience made me want to strive towards my goals. I graduated High School as an immature, egotistical girl, but I entered college as a clear headed, confident lady. So yeah, I guess that’s one of the reasons why some see me as an authoritative person.

      By the way, I’m turning 20 years old this September. Yes, omg, this is a milestone for me. I will officially say goodbye to my teenage years. I’m not a pro and I’m still immature at times but I would love to give you some tips to prepare you for adulthood and help you deal with the frightening fact that you’re becoming an adult.

 1.       Get a job.

    This is what I always tell my friends, try being employed. It can just be a summer job, temporary job, or part time job. Just get a decent one and from this you will surely be learning valuable stuff you can’t comprehend inside the four corners of a classroom. I suggest trying this before you graduate so it will be less hard to adjust to life after university.

 2.       Fake it until you make it.

    Seriously bruh, the secret lies with how you present yourself to others. It doesn’t matter if you have to fake your confidence because along the way of lying to yourself and lying to others, you will start to believe in it too. So fake it, pull it off, and then make it. Trust me, I speak from experience. Just recently, I had a job as an assistant documenter for an international conference in New World Manila Bay Hotel. Bruh, I was in a meeting full of Executive Directors, company owners, chairpersons, etc.! I WAS LITERALLY SITTING NEXT TO THE CHAIRWOMAN OF UN ENVIRONMENT! I was anxious as hell. I mean, these people were professionals, and I haven’t even graduated college yet. So, yeah, I was scared to make a mistake and everyone was very intimidating but I didn’t look scared or intimidated at all. I faked my confidence, acted like I was also a professional and it worked. I even had the guts to have a chat with the chairwoman of the UN Environment, haha! Next time you’re in a situation like this, you know what to do.

 3.       Stop trying to please everyone.

    Trying to meet everyone’s expectations takes too much effort and time, so meet your own. As you grow older you will realize that the only thing that matters is your opinion about yourself, because whatever you do, people will always have something to say.

 4.       Start with small tasks.

    If you’re an extrovert, you can go ahead and skip this number.  But if you’re an introvert or a socially awkward person (like how I was before), this is my recommendation for you. Try volunteering to pay the electric bill or ordering for your friends in a fast food chain. Don’t get nervous if you can’t put your money inside your wallet fast enough when you’ve finished ordering, just step aside and take your time. The truth is, cashiers or other people don’t really mind if you’re having a hard time doing this as long as you don’t disrupt the line. So step aside, mi amigo, and the person behind you can order. (Don’t even pretend that this isn’t your problem too, haha!) This task will help you practice your skills on verbal communication and will boost your confidence, I swear. Like what they always say, ‘practice makes perfect’.

 5.       Live alone.

    Alright, I know not everybody gets the chance to live alone but for me, this is an essential in order for an individual to achieve the maturity and sense of responsibility needed when becoming an adult. You don’t necessarily have to be ‘alone’; just try moving out of your parents’ house. If you won’t have the chance to achieve this in college, you can always try this once you graduate.

 And that’s it folks, I hope this entry helps you somehow. You can send me topic ideas you’d like me to discuss on my next blog entry on the question tab, hehe. Thanks for reading!

[sftyngs]

BTS Orchestra! AU | Yoongi

Been waiting for a free moment to be able to upload this, enjoy!!

Jimin ver. | Seokjin ver.  

AGSHDJFKFLF IVE BEEN WAITINF DOR THIS MOMENT FOR A LONG TIME GOD BLESs

ALRIGHT LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESS

ok so like min Yoongi is v interesting person ok

he’s really not the type of person u would imagine being in chamber orchestra (ok kinda but not really)

Tbh he really only did it bc his mom wanted him to do extracurricular activities and he really hates exercise and sports

and he quote on quote said that “marching band is so much work, why would u do that to urself”

so the next best thing is surPriSe surPriSe orchEsTRA

so he auditioned for the piano bc u kno that’s his specialty

and the teacher was like “wOWOWOWOW YES WELCOME”

and like he was great, he was pretty lowkey about it tho like he went to practice and did his part he was p chill

but then like halfway through first semester of freshman year he kept noticing how the bass section had only like one bassist and he was like ?????

where the other bassists at

and the teacher was like “no one really plays bass, our previous two bassists graduated last year so now we’re down to one”

and Yoongi has always had a thing for the bass, like when he listens to music that’s one of his favorites part to listen to

sO as the semester goes on and the orchestra keeps playing and stuff

Yoongi is like “my music senses are tingling, something is wrOnG”

but he can’t quite figure it out, and then one day while the orchestra was practicing and he didn’t have any notes to play he was listening and then bAM

he was like ?????????? “I cANT HEAR THE BASS PART”

he almost had a crisis right then and there

and so after that practice he went up to the conductor and he was like ,,,,,,, “listen…I know I auditioned for the piano but like,,,,,, next semester I’m switching to bass”

and the teacher looked at him and was like “Yoongi are you sure?????”

I mean the orchestra teacher is always down for more bassists but like if Yoongi becomes a bassist theN WHO S GONNA FILL IN FOR PIANO

but the music teacher accepts and Yoongi is like “I got u I’ll be good, u won’t regret it”

so Yoongi spends the next few weeks plus the whole of winter break learning how to play bass

he practices everyday so that he can be decent enough to play when school starts again

not to mention he had to learn all the music for the upcoming concerts and festivals the orchestra always competes in in the second semester

and like Yoongi is v hard working he tries his best to be a good bassist bc he just wants the orchestra to have a good bass section

he may seem like he doesn’t really care about orchestra but in reality he loves it so much and it’s the best decision he has ever maDE

anyWAys so when he tells his parents and they’re like as long as you don’t give up piano we’re ok

Yoongi is like great yes ok we have a deal, now take me to rent a bass from the music store plz

tbh he ended up buying one

and named it B.C. which stands for Bass Clef

whenever someone asks him why he named it that he says its “clefer”

geT iT

bc bass reads bass clef,,,,,,

no,,,,,,,o k

listen that joke made Kim Seokjin wheeze for a good 5 minutes ok it was a goOd one

sPEAKING OF KIM SEOKJIN

WHEN YOONGI FIRST JOINED ORCHESTRA JIN WAS THE FIRST ONE TO ACTUALLY BEFRIEND HIM

bc when Yoongi decided to join orchestra he was like “it’s ok if I don’t make friends, I’m just here for the music”

but lmao that idea jumped out the window when Seokjin greeted Yoongi on his first day and convinced him that they were now orchestra buddies

tbh Yoongi had no say in it, but he respected Seokjin as a good ass musician and a good human being and was like “listen,,,,,just give me some space from time to time and I’ll be good”

a trUE BROMANCE

THEY HANG OUT DURING CONCERTS, YOONGI SLEEPING UNTIL ITS TIME TO PERFORM WHILE SEOKJIN RUNS AROUND HELPING THE KIDDIES GET TUNED AND ORGANIZED

AND THEY’RE ALWAYS BUS BUDDIES OMG BLESS

AND WHEN THE ORCHESTRA HAS FUNDRAISERS TO RAISE MONEY FOR THINGS THEY NEED SEOKJIN ALWAYS DRAGS YOONGI TO THE EVENTS AND MAKES HIM VOLUNTEER

HALF OF THE TIME ITS JIN SCREAMING FOR PEOPLE TO COME BUY THINGS AND YOONGI JUST SITS BEHIND THE CASH BOX HALF ASLEEP AND ALL POUTY ITS TH E CUTEST TH IN G

ITS GREAT

YOONGI PRETENDS TO GET ANNOYED BY SEOKJIN BHT IN REALITY HES REALLY GRATEFUL JIN WANTED TO BE HIS FRIEND

ANywaYs after Yoongi basically abandoned the piano section lmao, the orchestra didn’t have a pianist for a while,

it didn’t really make a difference sometimes tbh bc u can’t really hear the piano part in some pieces so it doesn’t matter

but for others it’s like ,,,,,“we don’t have a pianist for this piano part but we will have to play iT”

and Yoongi sometimes feels guilty so he’s always trying to figure out how to fix it

this is where you come in, bc you two have like math together and one day during class when there’s a substitute you pull out sheet music for Clair de Lune and u put in ur earphones and basically submerge urself in the music

and Yoongi can hear like parts of the song and he’s like ???????

so he turns around and notices u and he taps u on the shoulder

ur like “hold up” and u hold up a finger bc ur at this part of the song u really like and u don’t want to stop

and when it ends u pause the music and pull out an earphone and ur like “what’s up”

Yoongi just stares at u and he’s like “you play piano???”

you’re just like “yeah, why”

and he’s kinda just comes out with it and he’s like “have you eVer thOught of jOining chamber orchestrA”

and ur like “not really no,,,,,,,I just kinda do piano on the side as a hobby”

Yoongi’s like “listen, we desperately need a pianist we haven’t had one in a while plz audition”

tbh ur like why is this kid I’ve only ever had like two conversations with suddenly asking me to join orchestra

Yoongi can sense ur reluctance by the way ur looking at him

so he’s like “look I know we don’t ever talk and tbh u probably don’t know my name but like at least consider it please, we’re doing Adagio in Sol Minore, and we really need a pianist”

and ur like wow this kid is really adamant about me joining orchestra

so ur like “listen, ok I’ll audition, but dONT GET YOUR HOPES UP OK”

and Yoongi is like “yES THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU WONT REGRET IT,,,,”

you’ve never seen this kid who is usually sleeping in class so excited

it’s kinda cute,,,????

nO Y/N sNAP OUT OF IT U DoNT EVEN KNKW HIS NAME

“my name is Yoongi by the way, Min Yoongi, I play bass”

wow it’s like he read your mind or somETHINg

“im Y/n”

but then the bell rings and Yoongi gets up and waves at you before saying “nice to meet you I hope to see u in orchestra!”

and then he’s zooming out of the room

and ur like what the hell jUst hapPend

so now u basically dug urself a hole saying you’ll audition for chamber

but ur like wait,,,,,,,,he didn’t tell me where to go or when the auditions are

so u ask one of the other kids in orchestra you happen to have a class with and they’re like “oh!!! Auditions are today after school!!!!”

ur like whAT TODAY

and u start to freak out u didn’t know they were todAy

u don’t even know where to go like where the hell evEN IS THE MUSIC BUILDING MIN YOONGIIIIIII

so after class ends u scavenge the school for your friend the one and only Kim Taehyung bc u know he’s in band and he should know where the orchestra room is and not to mention he owes u constant favors bc of all the shit u do for him

so when u find him, he’s like “oh hey y/n,,,,,what brings u around h-here,,,,”

tbh taehyung is kinda scared bc he ‘accidentally’ tripped u when u were going up the stairs earlier that day and he thought u were gonna finally get ur revenge

but u end up being like “take me to the orchestra room proNTO”

and Taehyung is like w ahT

but he doesn’t argue and leads the way

and when u arrive ur like “thanks Tae, but don’t think this gets u out of what u did to me earlier u punk”

Taehyung just smiles sheepishly and waves before running away

you take a deep breathe before entering the room and the teacher instantly notices you bc lol no one is there

and she asks if u here to audition for the piano section and u like um,,,,, yeah ,,,,,

so she tells u to sit down and play a few scales

and u ace those bc they’re super easy

and then she tells u to just play anything and ur like ,,,,,,wha t

but she just smiles at you warmly and says to not be nervous

but ur not nervous bc u can’t play anything

ur nervous bc u don’t exactly have an idea of what to play

but then you just end up pulling Clair de Lune out of ur bag from earlier and ur like well,,,,,,,here goes

when you finish and look over at the teacher you not only notice her mouth open with tears in her eyes but u also notice another figure in the room who is staring at you like you are the most magnificent human being in the world

and ur like “oh”

and then the music teacher is getting up and clapping for u and patting u on the back like “that was so beautiful, please join chamber orchestra you would be an amazing addition”

and honestly how can u say no to her when she’s looking at you with that puppy dog look on her face and tears in her eyes

and then u glance at Yoongi and he just lifts an eyebrow as if to say “so what’ll it be?”

and finally u just smile and look back at the teacher and nod your head and she squeals and hugs u and ur like o,,,kAY,,,,,,,

she tells u to come to practice next week and sends u on ur merry way along with some sheet music so u can look over your parts

Yoongi follows you out and he’s like “listen,,,,,thanks for doing this…I know it was last minute,,,,I really appreciate it”

u just kinda look at him and then smile

and Yoongi’s heart kinda stutters and he’s like wow,,,,,this person has a really nice smile and I can’t help but stare

so after a few weeks you’ve basically integrated into chamber orchestra pretty well

and you actually really enjoy it bc the people are so sweet and the music is fun to play and ur like !!!!! This is fun!! !!!!

also every time Yoongi sees u playing piano he’s like ,,,,,.woW why am i so attracted to them whAT IS haPPENIng tO ME

and he asks Seokjin and Seokjin and is like ,,,,,,,Yoongi, my child,,,,u like them

and Yoongi is like "w-whAT NO THATS IMPOSSIBLE"

Seokjin is like “really tho is it reaLLY”

and Yoongi kinda has this mini crisis bc he’s never felt this way about anyone and he doesn’t know how to act and it really affects him

so he starts to avoid you and ur like ,,,,,did I dO something

bc the first couple of weeks he’d actually go out of his way to talk to u and it felt nice to have a friend

and u really enjoyed his presence like wow what a great human being

but u also really like Yoongi too, you’ve come to a conclusion with ur feeling,,,u really like this quiet but attentive bassist named Min Yoongi

and the fact that he starts to ignore u really hurts u and ur like ?!!!??????

so one day u plan to confront him bc ur never one to just let things like this go like u want to knOW WHAT U DID DAMMIT

so u ask Seokjin to help u and he’s like ,,,,“say no more I have the perfect plan”

but he doesn’t tell u what it is and ur like SeokJIN I NEED TO KNOW THE PLAN

but he’s like “nonono I have it all covered u just say what u have to say when it happens”

and so Seokjin plans this huge elaborate thing over with a few other friends and it takes place at the spring concert that is in a few days

and basically he plans to shove u two in the one of the instrument rooms and lock the door until u work out ur problems

it’s ur typical cliché plan but Seokjin lives by it and he’s like “I’ve tried it before it works wonDERS”

so the day of the spring concert arrives and Yoongi is still ignoring u and ur like Jin,,,,,plz tell me that the plan is going to happen soOn

and Jin just winks and tells u not to worry

which makes u woRRY mORE,,,, jIN and so at the concert Yoongi and Seokjin are hanging out like usual backstage

and you’re out front helping the orchestra parents sell refreshments and things for a fundraiser waiting for ur time to go up to play

when suddenly Taehyung comes running up to u with his band uniform half on and he looks all panicky and frantic and ur like !!!!!! “Tae what’s wrong!!!!!!”

and he’s like “someone was messing around with the piano and they broke a key!!!”

and u kinda expected it to be something more serious but still dumb so it takes u a while to comprehend

but then ur like ,,,,,there’s only one piano backstage and that’s the piano we use to perfORM SOMEONE BROKE THW PIANO WHAT THE HELL

so u two take off running and Taehyung leads u to the music room and ur like “oh no where is my baby I have to see my baby”

but all of a sudden someone shoves u into the instrument storage room and ur like !!!!  What the hELL

ur screamjng profanities at Tae bc whTa the heLL KIM TAEHYUNG

and then u hear someone behind u sigh and say “they’re not gonna open the door I already tried”

and u freeze up bc u know that voice

so u slowly turn around and Yoongi is just lounging on one of the random bean bags the room has

and ur like ????? “What are u doing here”

and he’s like “I could ask u the same thing"

but then something in ur head clicks and ur like oH, so thIs was Jin’s pLan

tbh ur kinda seething inside bc what the heck Seokjin but now that u have Yoongi here ur extremely grateful

so u sit down on one of the other bean bags and ur like “so what do we do now?”

Yoongi just shrugs and says “dunno, just wait it out until it’s our time to go and perform and they’ll have to come get us

ur like "but we don’t perform until the end of the concert!!! we’ll be in here for hours!!!”

and Yoongi doesn’t really know what to say to u so he just doesn’t say anything and u think hes like being v rude

so ur like “what’s your problem?????!!!”

and Yoongi is kinda startled bc he’s never heard u raise ur voice and he just looks at u

and ur like “first u practically beg me to audition for chamber and then decide to ignore me like I don’t exist what the hell is ur problem Min Yoongi!!?? Why do you hate me?!??”

Yoongi doesn’t know what to say bc he didn’t know him ignoring u would affect u so much

and he sees the tears in ur eyes threatening to fall and his heart starts beating frantically and he’s like oh no I made them crY

and so he’s like “you think I hate you,,,?”

and ur like “well what else would it be?!!!!???”

Yoongi scoots over to u and his heart is beating really fast and he grabs ur hand and intertwines ur fingers

and ur like ??????? ,,,,,he has nice hands,,,,,,,

“I don’t hate you,,,,in fact it’s far from that, I like u so much it hurts to be around u, I’ve never felt this way about anyone and it really scared me and I didn’t know what to do so my natural instinct was to ignore it and you”

his confession really surprises u bc u didn’t,,,,expect,,,,thaT,,,,

but then u hit his arm and ur like “why didn’t u just tell me?”

and he’s like “bc I knew u probably wouldn’t feel the same way”

and ur like “you big idiot of course I would like u, I won’t have joined orchestra if I didn’t”

but yoongi takes that as the ‘I like u but as a friend’

so he releases ur hand and he’s just kinda looks at the ground all deflated and stuff and he’s like “I see….”

but ur like wow this kid must really be slow

and so u softly say his name and when he looks up at you

you lean in until ur both touching foreheads and Yoongi is holding his breathe bc woW

and ur like “I mean I like like you, dummy”

and then u lean in to kiss his cheek but he moves to capture ur lips and it’s the nicest most softest kiSs evER

it really catches u off guard and ur like WOw

and then Yoongi starts to pull away bc he doesn’t feel u react but ur like 'nO IM NOT DONE’

so u link ur hands around his neck and pull him closer and he smiles into the kiss and u both are like “yEs”

when u break apart u just stare at each other with pure bliss on ur faces

and Yoongi has this slight blush on his cheeks and it makes u want to gush over him bc he’s the most amazing human being you have ever met soft yoongi is precious

and Yoongi’s breath is just taken away bc you are so beautiful and amazing and wonderful and he doesn’t know how to react aside from smile his gummy smile at u bc he is so incredibly happy rn

words cannot describe the way you two feel it’s pure and utter bliss

what a cute couple, soft yoongi and soft y/n bLEsS

just two music dorks who really really like each other and are slightly nervous around each other but still support each other a lot  (´∀｀•)

Bonus:

tbh u both kinda just stay in the storage room cuddling on the bean bags until Seokjin deems it necessary to finally unlock the door

and when he does he’s greeted with two lovebirds asleep on the bean bags, arms and legs tangled

and he just has to snap a photo bc this just screams cute

and he kinda just pats himself on the back bc wow he is a true matchmaker,,,,,.,“good job Kim Seokjin, well doNE”

[disso-queen]

emisaletter Y’all, survived the first week. More than...

How is the paralegal taking this? Also that would totally suck to not pass in 4 years!

Omg, this got REALLY LONG. If anyone wants the story though, buckle up, here it is.

So, I met the current boss (and his wife who is the office manager) at a women lawyers association dinner in early December, told them I was interested in family law, they mentioned they had a position open, I told them I was working for someone, so they said they were thinking about offering an internship at my school. I interview at the end of December, they offer me the internship on the spot.

The way they run their office, they generally take on a law student, train them, promote them to paralegal after the appropriate amount of training, continue to train them, then when they pass the bar promote them into an office and let them practice as an associate in the office.

I started the internship February 14, working Tuesdays and Thursdays (and still working Mon/Wed/Fri at the old gig which was another family law office), learning the office, asking the current paralegal all of the questions and basically learning what he does. My impression was that I was there to be another one of him, and when he retook the bar, I would take over for him, teach the next law school pick, etc. So, before two weeks are up, boss-man has a chat with me and says he wants to employ me after the internship. I accept (because, promises of post-bar employment in my chosen field??? DREAM???). When I accepted the position though, I mentioned how I wanted to give my first job the notice and time to get someone to replace me if they needed to. Boss-man was super understanding, appreciating my loyalty, just asked if I could work for them for a full day Monday April 24 because him, the associate, and the paralegal were going into the city for a full day for this writing seminar, which I said would probably not be a problem.

So for the past 2-ish months, I’ve just been learning as much as I can, trying to adapt to a new office, and just being immensely excited and happy for the opportunity. Everyone is super nice, the attorneys (boss-man and associate) and office manager are super understanding, welcoming, and patient with my acclimation. And the paralegal has been so nice and patient with my questions, this is by no means bashing him AT ALL.

So, HERE COMES THIS WEEK. My first full week. Boss-man says he wants me in the paralegals’ desk asap. Paralegal says no problem, he just needs to organize it so I’m not confused about stuff he has been handling. I’m told paralegal will be working in the conference room so he is close by to help me with any questions. No problem, I have a smaller desk in the meantime, all is well, I was supposed to be in on Wednesday, paralegal wasn’t ready but says Thursday the desk is mine, no problem, I leave early for a workshop I volunteer for a unit for school.

Roll up Thursday, I don’t want to step on toes so go down the hall, say hi to the office manager who is the only one there, walk on to my temporary desk, and the office manager tells me to go to the paralegal desk, it’s officially mine, and the paralegal is out sick today so I’m kind of on my own. So I start settling in, and by settling in, I mean cleaning and organizing. Office manager says to do as I please, so I immediately ask for disinfectant wipes and go to down going through all of the drawers (I’m Type A anyway, and it’s the easiest way to learn where everything is, two birds with one stone). She is SUPER sweet throughout the day, giving me suggestions, giving compliments on how nice it is looking, offers to order me whatever I want, etc. I find stuff I’m not sure we need or that I know are the paralegals which I keep in a little pile, office manager tells me to just use an empty box to contain it, I think nothing of it and take her suggestion.

SO, SOME OF THIS BLEEDS INTO FRIDAY AS WELL. But basically, between Thursday during the day and Friday after the paralegal left the office manager (who, again, is boss-man’s wife) tells me that the paralegal has been working for them for four years. This guy graduated maybe two or three years ago? Signed up for the first bar and didn’t take it, took the second date but didn’t pass, kept saying he was retaking it every time the bar rolled around, actually took time off to “study” and take the bar again, did not study, did not take the bar, but did take the time off. They paid for him to become a notary, he failed it (or didn’t pass the background check, or maybe both, not sure). When he was in school they would pay him for full days even when he had to leave early for class. AAAAAND, the icing on top, apparently he’s had a few DUIs, and they think he started hitting the bottle again recently. Basically, they think he’s heading downhill, and they think even if he does pass the bar he won’t get past the character and fitness evaluation. We all joke about it, but having an ACTUAL alcoholic in your office is a HUGE liability, and he apparently does drink at work when he thinks he can get away with it.

So this morning I roll up about 10 minutes early and notice only boss-man’s car is there. So I’m sitting in my car to check my emails, look up, BOSS-MAN WALKING TOWARDS MY CAR. All I can think is I fucked up and I’m getting my first talking to. I step out wish him a good morning, he asks me if I am available on the 24th, and of course I say yes because I knew we confirmed it a while ago. He says “great, I want you to come with [associate] and me up to the city for the writing seminar. I’ve trained [paralegal] in legal writing for four years now, I need to start training you and it’s an extremely informative seminar, $800 per person, you don’t need to pay for anything.” Which made sense to me, so I basically just said thank you and when will I know details, lol.

Paralegal rolls up, apologizes for being sick the other day and says it happens about once a month (office manager told me it was more like once a week and he has no sick days at all because he uses them so fast) says an off-comment about the desk, then says “So, I guess you’re going to the writing seminar now? Am I being punished? Should I be taking this personally?” I told him I was just told this morning, I don’t think it’s personal, I was just told that you’ve been trained for four years and boss-man wanted to start training me immediately and this seemed to be a good opportunity to him. So paralegal is still friendly and patient towards me, just WAY quiet and reserved. Today was a half-day, paralegal leaves right at noon, I stay back because I need to restock the break room and clean up my desk.

Office manager comes out to chitty-chat with me (we are the only two females in the office). She asks about the paralegal, I tell her my gauge of his behavior, then she tells me more about his alcohol problems, and the history. Basically, he thought he was getting an office upstairs when I came in, but the paralegal now isn’t even ALLOWED upstairs. He’s destroyed most of the good will he has with boss-man and office manager. Basically they’re tired of investing in him when he seems to be on a downward spiral that he won’t pull himself out of despite talks from boss-man. Office manager told me to learn as much as I could from paralegal for as long as I can and basically, his next screw-up and he’s gone.

Boss-man and office manager are SUPER understanding and patient and welcoming. Their office is known throughout the state, throughout the U.S. Boss-man has a CV 8-pages long (I know because I printed it today, lol). His office has trained the better Family Law attorneys in my area, everyone wants him to come speak. He’s the one you want to learn from if you want to go into family law (at least in my area). I found out today that they’re paying me for full days when I have to bounce early for school. It’s a dream job, a dream situation, with a hands on name partner and associate who both are patient and knowledgeable and WANT to teach you. And the paralegal is just pissing away all of his good-will with his alcoholism. 

Basically, they’re done investing in the paralegal further, and are investing in me instead. Which puts me in a bit of an awkward situation. The paralegal must be slightly suspicious, but I am trying to stay out of it. I’m just playing ignorant to the paralegal, learning as much as I can from him, and just giving the job my all.