#omg ok highlights i loved the first 6 and then i gave up at the last 3

[photonbee]

╰┈➤ windy bee moodboard ✦ ₊˚੭ ༄ 𓈒 ༺ ˚ ₊ . ७

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[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

It’s All In The Execution (S2, E1)

It happened. We got a second season. I’m living my best life...unfortunately Malcolm isn’t...

*** Content warning: brief mentions/allusions to depression, suicidal ideation, and Malcolm’s general poor mental health ****

SPOILERS AHEAD.

0:00 -  OH HELL YES. I can’t believe we actually got a second season! <3 My heart is so full. 

0:18 – “This ledge is taken.” …..ok so I have lots of feelings about this scene. 1) Malcolm’s lines are iconic in this scene and I love it. 2) WHY THE ACTUAL HELL WOULD JT, DANI, AND EDRISA AGREE TO LET A (LET’S BE HONEST) MAN IN A VERY BAD MENTAL STATE WITH A HISTORY OF DEPRESSION STAND ON A LEDGE FOR A CASE?!? Like seriously, Gil wouldn’t have gone with this shit. 3) As soon as I saw Malcolm on the ledge I believed he was seriously considering jumping. He showed passive suicidality most of last season and after Endicott – well I don’t blame him for being a little depressed. 

0:26 – Damn. Malcolm is really manic in this scene. It’s reminiscent of the pilot episode in the sense that Malcolm really has no filter. 

0:40 – Ok so Tom Payne deserves a freaking Emmy. This performance is gorgeous. Look at his facial expression when he says “It got real dark for me though. Family issues.” The look on his face completely convinces me that Malcolm is riding the struggle bus more than usual right now…..also am I the only one who thinks this ‘penthouse slasher’ is kind of unbelievable? He strikes me as too anxious and jumpy to be a serial killer. 

1:18 – Is Malcolm even trying to hide the fact that he knows what happened to Endicott?!? I mean “I tried to fight it” can’t JT and Dani hear his usual ‘projecting his personal issues on the suspect shtick?’ 

1:30 – Did he really just scream “I am the Surgeon’s son” from a ledge?!? Dude – someone please give this boy a hug and get him to Gabrielle – like last month.

1:40 – Soooo… now Chester isn’t scared of the ledge? He looked like he was going to wet himself from fear a literal minute ago. 

1:49 – OH OF COURSE CHESTER SLIT THEIR THROATS. JUST LIKE AINSLEY SLIT ENDICOTT’S. Chris Fedak really loves to inject Malcolm’s personal issues into the ‘serial killer of the week’.

2:23 – I’m sorry – the team let Malcolm on the ledge without tethering him first?!? No. No. No. I refuse to believe it. Dani, JT, and Edrisa care too much about Malcolm to let him do that.  

2:28 – Why is Edrisa even on this stakeout?!? Did she fill in as the 4th team member while Gil was in the hospital?!? I love Edrisa – she’s hilarious but the fact that she’s in the field like this is absolute nonsense. Hahaha 

2:32 – hahaha OMG. JT is like the big brother forced to hang out with his younger sibling and their weird friends. He’s think’s they’re all crazy but he’d also die for them.  

2:42 – Yikes. Malcolm is questioning his moral code. This boy is headed for a real nasty downward mental spiral if someone doesn’t intervene quickly.  

2:46 – Am I really supposed to believe that a rope tied to a radiator can hold the weight of two grown men dangling off a building?!? I mean – I’ll suspend my disbelief because I know it’s fictional entertainment but I found it really distracting.  

2:48 – JT. Would. Not. Let. Go. Of. That. Rope. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT. If for no other reason than because he loves GIL too much to let Gil’s surrogate son fall to his death. I understand why this happened – tension and excitement for television in the first scene of a new season but honestly – this whole first scene is wildly unrealistic given what we know about JT, Dani, Edrisa and their respective roles on the team.

2:50 – Can we talk about JT’s facial hair for a sec? I like him with it (and without it). Part of me thinks he grew it because he’s trying to channel Gil while he’s temporarily in charge of the team.  

3:08 – Honestly, the second Malcolm picked up his phone all I could think was “You moron. What if you drop that thing off the side of the building!?!?!”…then I remembered that he’s rich.

3:20 – “Please say it’s cancer.” Hahahahahaha OMG. I have a love/hate relationship for Malcolm with no filter. That’s freaking comedic gold. 

3:57 – “I’m hanging in there.” Tom Payne is freaking incredible. Look at his facial expression here. Malcolm’s emotional pain is etched on that face. Ugh. I’m love. 

4:02 – soooo no updated title screen. Interesting. 

4:08 – Istg the writers only put Ainsley in this scene so she would be in the episode. I mean honestly – what kind of precinct lets reporters with a camera crew INSIDE?!?! 

 4:15 – hahaha I love JT in this scene. I love how he initially looks at Ainsley with a mixture of confusion, resignation, and fear. This is a man who does not like the camera.  

4:16 – Side note: is it just me or is Ainsley acting very manic in this scene? Something about her energy reminds me of Malcolm circa 1x05 when he’s not sleeping and trying to convince everyone that he’s fine.

4:38 – hahahaha OMG. That wink.  

4:48 – Even Malcolm looks surprised that Ainsley and a camera dude were let into the precinct.  

5:00 – Ahhh the hand tremor. <3 Love that they’re still using that. 

5:05 – also Malcolm is heartbreaking in this scene. Someone give him a hug. Look at how hard he’s trying to hide his pain, fear, and trauma. UGH.  

5:33 -  So we finally get to see it. The moments immediately after 1x20. Or do we? I have this crackpot theory (I posted it on my main blog, so you might’ve already seen it – “AllTimeBouvier”) that these flashbacks are only a fraction of the truth. I think Sophie walked followed Malcolm from the vet’s office to the hospital, then home. I think she hid when she heard Endicott’s voice due to fear but came out after Ainsley started screaming and stabbing.  Besides – anyone else notice how the portion of these flashbacks where Malcolm is saying “Ainsley, focus on me. You didn’t do this. I did.” Only his right hand is ever in the frame. So it’s impossible to tell if he’s holding his cell (on the phone with Martin) with his left hand or if he just hung up and put the phone back in his pocket? I think that Martin either phoned Malcolm back or Martin heard Sophie’s voice and demanded to talk to her. I think Sophie disposed of the body while Malcolm took care of Ainsley like a good big brother. I think Sophie went into hiding and Martin is gaslighting Malcolm into believing that he disposed of Endicott’s body.  

5:37 – Anyone else want to know what happened to the murder weapon? And Ainsley’s bloody clothes? Just me? 

6:00 – hahahahaha Jessica is so extra. I love it. 

6:29 – Wait. What? Why was Ainsley quarantined with Jessica? Ainsley has her own apartment. If Jessica forced Ainsley to come and live with her during quarantine – why didn’t she also force Malcolm? This doesn’t track for me. 

6:40 – I love that Jessica brought Malcolm food (you can see the grocery bag behind Malcolm in one of the shots) and went so far as to actually lay out the breakfast ingredients for him. <3 I mean. It’s extra but it’s also sweet.  

6:45 – Why is Jessica looking at Malcolm’s pill bottles? Is it just to avoid eye contact with Malcolm while she talks about Gil? Is she noticing that his dosage has changed (she’s extra so I’m assuming she knows exactly what meds he takes and how much of each). Is that part of the reason why she’s suspicious of Malcolm? His dosage has gone up and he’s clearly trying to hide his pain?

 6:52 – I love how Malcolm interacts with Jessica in this scene. It’s so cute. They’re adorable. AND seeing Malcolm in casual clothing is always nice.  

7:44 – “Oh about that.” Damn. Malcolm really can’t catch a break. Poor baby. : ( 

7:50 – hahaha Martin looks like a mountain man here. Completely deranged and un-groomed.  

7:51 – Glad Mr.David isn’t dead or evil. I had fears.  

8:35 – The tension between Dani and Malcolm seems to have lessened since 1x20. The trust seems to have been partially rebuilt. Partially. Dani is still suspicious.  

8:38 – Well at least Malcolm’s still going to therapy.  

8:41 – GREEN SUIT. HELL YES.

9:06 – “The ‘Drise knows.” OMG hahahaha I love this show. Look at how Malcolm looks at her hahaha. 

9:17 – “I can fire these people right?” OMG. 10/10. JT REALLY SHINES IN THIS EPISODE. AND FRANK HARTS IS KILLING IT and the writers gave him so much well deserved screen time and great lines.  

9:53 – Malcolm and Edrisa getting excited about murder is honestly so freaking cute.  

10:34 – OMG. The way Malcolm perks up at the mention of rumours is hilarious. A learned behaviour from Jessica during his childhood? 

10:45 – I’ll say it again. Chris Fedak was wasting Frank Harts in season 1. This dude is shining in this episode. I hope they keep giving him more lines and screen time than they did last season. 

12:00 – I love seeing Malcolm this excited/happy but it’s pretty concerning that his passion is murder weapons.  

12:04 – This scene is really interesting to me for four reasons 1) Where the eff did Dani go? I guess she’s probably on her way to see Gil? 2) Even though Malcolm is getting excited about murder he’s way less manic than he was earlier this episode. 3) I love watching JT deal with Edrisa and Malcolm’s nerdy excitement. I could watch it all day. So fun. 4) I love watching JT and Malcolm in scenes together. Period. I can honestly say that watching their friendship evolve is one of the highlights of this show for me.  

12:30 – Heartbreaking. Malcolm had a few minutes where he forgot about Ainsley, Endicott, Martin, and the various traumas currently haunting him. Then he not only remembered but he saw Martin in himself. The crazy person collecting murder weapons. You can tell he feels embarrassed, ashamed, and sad. I genuinely believe that’s why JT says, “soooo weird.” with a look of sympathy and concern. JT doesn’t suspect that Malcolm has anything to do with Endicott’s murder at this point in time. Mark my words. 

12:55 – Edrisa gets Bright. I will never ship them together but I really hope they get more scenes together this season. Their friendship is beautiful. 

13:00 – Malcolm, baby, no. You don’t have to do this. Ugh. Poor baby. This is just going to make the night terrors worse. 

13:10 – They trimmed Martin’s beard but not his hair between the first scene in this episode and now. I think they just combed his hair? Why?!? Was this a Michael Sheen request? I must know!!! 

13:40 – hahaha OMG. Can we all just take a moment to appreciate how incredible Michael Sheen is?!? This man can go from downright terrifying to hilarious in a split second. Incredible actor.  

13:55 – Sooooo Mr. David doesn’t know about Endicott? Because he’s definitely heard Malcolm and Martin discuss some pretty sketchy stuff over the years. I’m pretty sure he heard about the Sophie stuff last season didn’t he? Why is Martin finally trying to hide something from Mr. David?  

14:03 – Look at Malcolm’s face. Ugh. He looks nauseous and scared. Someone hug him. Or better yet – get him away from Martin.  

14:18 – Sooooo is Jerry going to be a problem later? Martin ‘cures him’ later in this episode so will he be able to tell someone he heard Martin and Malcolm talking about Endicott’s murder? Would anyone believe him?  

14:40 – GO. TO. HELL. MARTIN. You’re not feeling it?!? Haven’t you caused enough emotional damage to your son. Stop. Trying. To. Manipulate. Malcolm.  

14:50 – Question 1000 about how Endicott’s body was disposed of: Where the hell did Malcolm get that yellow jumpsuit on such short notice? And….those gloves – anyone else notice that they’re practically the same as the gloves he puts on in Izzy’s sex dungeon in a few minutes? ALSO – THEY FOUND ENDICOTT’S BODY IN ESTONIA?!? LIKE ALL OF IT OR JUST PARTS OF IT? WOULDN’T IT BE SMARTER TO SCATTER HIS BODY IN MULTIPLE COUNTRIES IF IT’S ALREADY IN PIECES?!? Unless maybe Endicott’s body isn’t in pieces because we all know that Malcolm’s memory of traumatic events is fuzzy at best. 

15:07 – “Don’t. Say. That. Never, say that.” - I’m really proud of Malcolm here. He’s clearly in serious emotional distress throughout this whole conversation. He’s grappling with what he believes he did, what that means about him, his moral code, and his relationship with Martin. But yet – he found the strength to basically tell Martin to eff off.  

15:20 – AMAZING. Right after Martin says “Estonia?” there are a few seconds where it genuinely looks like Malcolm is going to cry. It’s moving as hell, heartbreaking, and some downright kickass acting. 

15:56 – Well, that’s not going to help Malcolm’s night terrors. But we definitely have confirmation that Jerry wasn’t as engrossed in the cartoons as Martin suggested.  

16:20 – I love this scene. Gil is the whole team’s surrogate father – not just Malcolm’s. Sometimes I forget that. Also – the fact that Chris Fedak waited 16 minutes to show us Gil Arroyo alive and well is a crime.  

16:28 – “He wouldn’t dare.” “I know.” How cute is this? Look at Dani’s smile. Ugh. I can’t decide if they know that JT doesn’t want Gil’s job because he loves working with Gil too much or he doesn’t like how much responsibility comes with Gil’s title. Probably a combination of both.  

16:35 – Sooo has Malcolm not been visiting Gil? I guess because of COVID he couldn’t but now he’s just not? I mean – Gil would be able to tell how Malcolm’s doing just by looking at him.  

17:05 – I’m sorry ‘multiple surgeries’?!? I want elaboration on this.  

17:09 – So I googled “British musician Izzy” and the top hit was the guitar player for Guns’n’Roses (who looks kinda like this guy). I have no idea what that means but I found it interesting. 

17:30 – Holy shit. Izzy is a nutcase. I love him. hahaha 

17:55 – Soooo Malcolm keeps a spray bottle of some sort of magic “show me the blood” water? Nah – the writers wrote it into the show for this scene’s convenience.  

18:05 – I love this. Malcolm’s nonchalant approach to his mother and Gil’s budding relationship. He’s like a little kid who doesn’t want to get his hopes up. He’s using the mentality of “If I don’t acknowledge it, it’s not happening. Therefore, if it goes wrong – I won’t get hurt by it.” It’s really sad and I wish he didn’t run away from something that will potentially be good but I also get it. 

18:06 – I also respect Malcolm a lot in this scene and am irritated by Dani. Look – they both adore Gil. They’re both protective of Gil (and in Malcolm’s case Jessica). Here’s where they’re different: Malcolm recognizes and respects that Gil and Jessica are adults who can make their own decisions. Dani doesn’t. Dani is acting like a preteen trying to break up Dad and the new step-mom she isn’t sure of. Dani and Malcolm both have their hearts in the right place but I disagree with Dani’s response to the relationship. I also understand where she’s coming from given what we know about Dani’s bio Dad.  

18:39 – It’s not supposed to be funny but holy hell. Malcolm putting his head on the floor to listen is hilarious.  

19:00 – I’m getting major John Watkins flashbacks. Malcolm breaks down a lot of walls where serial killers once hung out. Is that supposed to be some sort of subtle comment on Malcolm’s character? 

20:33 – Damn. Malcolm’s hair is long this season.  

20:55 – aannnnnd here are the murder gloves from the Endicott flashbacks. 

21:30 – Something about Malcolm dancing to this music in this supremely manic state is really upsetting to me. It just makes me uncomfortable.  

22:13 – I’m so worried about Malcolm right now. Holy hell. Get him to Gabrielle. NOW. 

23:00 – A skil saw. Pretty much a small version of what Malcolm thinks he dismembered Endicott with. Yikes. Fedak really loves making Malcolm project his issues on murder suspects.  

23:27 – Yep. Dani totally thinks Malcolm killed Endicott. She thinks he’s gone dark side and followed Martin’s footsteps. This is not going to be good for their friendship or the trust that they’re rebuilding.

23:50 – One of my favourite things about this show is that it can go from dark and creepy to family sitcom-esque drama in a second. It helps lighten the show’s tone a little. I mean honestly – most of the fans are here for the family drama as opposed to the ‘killer of the week’ storyline anyways. 

24:10 – I love this. Jessica admitting to Malcolm that she and Gil have been discussing him for almost 25 years. You can see that Malcolm is 1) a little freaked out and 2) a little touched. For a moment you can see how badly he wants Gil and his Mom to have a long-lasting romantic relationship.  

24:32 – OMG. Why did Jessica call Ainsley about Malcolm’s mental state before calling Malcolm? Is that standard Whitly family practice? I have questions. 

24:40 – Yep. Dani is Concerned and Scared.  

26:46 – Sooo we all agree that Martin was trying to electrocute Jerry to death right? I mean “You really shouldn’t have done that Jer-bear.”?!?!  And he’s literally a serial killer?! 

27:25 – Mr. David is having none of Martin’s bullshit – so how did Martin get away with it? What does Martin have on Mr. David? 

27:50 – “A miracle.” Omg. Hahahaha. I love this show. So. Much. 

28:09 – “clearing her brother’s name. Not murder.” Seriously, the parallels between this case and Malcolm’s personal issues are more obvious than usual this episode. Almost to the point where I’m annoyed that the other characters aren’t really catching on.  

28:35 – “What happened, his brain break?” I love the way JT can simultaneously tease and be concerned about Malcolm. Ugh. It’s beautiful (and hysterical). 

29:07 – Not again. Please stop putting JT in front of the camera. I’m getting second-hand embarrassment and anxiety on his behalf. It hurts to watch (funny too, but mostly painful). 

29:19 – Look at Gil. Hahaha he’s so amused by JT’s awkwardness in front of the camera – but you can also see how proud he is. <3 I love papa!Gil.  

29:33 – “Police work is patience.” Cute 1x05 callback. And can we all just take a minute to appreciate how much Gil loves Dani. Just look at his proud Dad face!! <3 Warms my cold, dead heart. 

30:00 – Oh yeah, Dani is suspicious.  

30:04 – I love how Gil seems to be the only person who truly understands Malcolm and all his quirks. <3 I love how much Gil loves Malcolm. <3 I just…ugh. <3 <3 <3 • 30:11 – “I’m a good big brother.” That line cut through my heart. He shouldn’t have been put in this position – choosing between his moral code and his brotherly instincts. It’s not fair and the stress of it is literally killing him.  

30:17 – “Messed them up.” Them!?!? I’m sorry Dani, when did you and Gil start talking about Malcolm AND Ainsley?!? Last I checked this was a 100% Malcolm conversation. …she’s not wrong though. 

30:33 – “There’s nothing we haven’t talked about.” I love what that suggests. To me – that means they when Dani has a bad break up, they talk about stupid stuff like what they’re cooking for dinner and songs that make them happy. I love that it suggests that Dani and Gil have talked about Jackie. Malcolm might be Gil’s fake-son but Dani is sooo Gil’s fake-daughter. <3 I can just see him getting all overprotective when she gets a new boyfriend even though he knows damn well that Dani is more than capable of taking care of herself – he can’t help it, Dani is his little girl. <3 <3 <3 

31:00 – Ugh….ok. So this scene. I’ve seen a lot of mixed reactions about it. I have a bit of a mixed reaction myself tbh. On one hand, I love that they have the type of relationship where they can openly discuss this. On the other hand – it feels forced and it really rubs me the wrong way. Dani is just way out of line here. She’s totally attacking Jessica and Gil is kind of letting her? I mean I think it upsets me so much because Gil isn’t even really defending Jessica.  Also, that line about Jackie thinking the Whitly’s are cursed?!? Wtf is that?!? No. No. We know that Jackie loved Malcolm like a son. Jessica has said that Jackie was kind. What is this cursed nonsense?!?!? I refuse to believe it. And the fact that Jessica heard it all breaks my heart. Like – it physically hurts me to watch this scene for all of the above reasons. But I also kind of understand why we got the scene – to further explore the Gil+Dani dynamic and to add some angst to the Jessica/Gil romance.  

33:00 – Oh hell yes. I love this danger. 

34:10 – Amazing how calm Malcolm is while the killer is literally going through his murder weapon collection. Like he hasn’t been this calm all episode? 

35:10 – Ahhhh here’s manic!Malcolm. 

35:25 – “Is it my hair?” Okay so totally hilarious, but Dani is listening to this. Can she tell that Malcolm is clearly (and weakly) deflecting the comment about him being a killer like Martin? 

35:40 – Malcolm is scared. :( Someone please hug him. This is the most honest he’s been all episode. My heart is broken.  

36:20 – Soooo did Malcolm just abstractly tell Dani that he’s a justice killer? Nahhhh I’m totally typing out of my ass.  

37:00 – He was on the Harvard fencing team?!? Why is that adorable? 

37:34 – Malcolm just cut a dude 3x. No remorse. No more fear. He’s calm. I’m terrified. Does he like hurting the killer?  

37:50 – I think Dani suspects that Malcolm killed Endicott. Yep. Definitely. 

38:00 – Gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. This scene with JT and the cops is heart-wrenching. The fact that Dani and Malcolm come to his rescue is beautiful. The fact that JT is clearly terrified but not angry is perfect. I hate that this scene had to be made but I love how it was executed.  

38:31 – Look at Malcolm’s confused, white, rich face here. He genuinely can’t believe that cops just racial profiled one of the only good people who ever accepted a serial’s killer’s son as a friend.  

38:40 – I’m crying. JT’s fear (and Frank Harts’ acting) is so believable and completely haunting. I hear the subtext in this scene, “What if those cops killed JT? What would happen to his pregnant wife and unborn child?”, “How is JT going to financially support his family if he loses his job unfairly?”, “How messed up is it that a literal military veteran is terrified of fellow police officers?”. 

38:44 – “You didn’t do anything wrong.” This line gives me hope. Malcolm isn’t too far gone. Malcolm still knows right from wrong and he still has a heart of gold. 

38:55 – Ok. I LOVE that Gil magically shows up in this scene. BUT HOW DID HE KNOW TO COME TO THE PRECINCT?!?! LIKE WTF? Because Malcolm and JT look surprised to see Gil. Dani just looks relieved – did she call Gil?  

39:10 – Gil is an absolute A+ human being. I love him. I will die for him.

39:33 – OMG. JT’s big watery puppy dog eyes have ripped my heart to shreds. <3 :( 

39:45 – When I first saw this I thought Malcolm was hurt by Gil’s “and whatever Bright is”. But upon re-watching it – Malcolm looks surprised and so so touched. I’ll be honest – I don’t think Malcolm’s mental state would be so bad right now if he had had regular contact with Gil throughout COVID. Gil is Malcolm’s rock. His literal example of what a good man looks like – without him during a traumatic time Martin creeps back into Malcolm’s psyche.  

40:15 – Sooo Martin is still definitely lying to Malcolm.  

40:20 – Stupid little thing – there never used to be a toilet on Jerry’s side of the room. And what happened to all of Martin’s books and stuff? Did Claremont put it in storage? I mean he’s a serial killer? Jessica certainly didn’t store it for him. 

40:37 – Amazing. As soon as Malcolm physically sees Gil he comes to Martin with a renewed faith in his moral code. (“I stop killers. I don’t help them.”) 

41:30 – “Please don’t torture yourself for that.” Martin is right BUT that’s also why I hate him. Martin is manipulating Malcolm right now. He’s trying to convince Malcolm that he genuinely cares and loves his children. Thus destabilizing further Malcolm’s mental state.  

41:36 – Also – both Tom Payne and Michael Sheen are acting their asses off here. *chef’s kiss* 10/10. I love to see it.  

41:45 – Aaaannnnd there’s Martin the asshole. Completely screwing with Malcolm’s mind. Again. What a dick. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him.  

42:00 – Look at how scared Malcolm is. I genuinely think Malcolm (whether or not he actually dismembered Endicott, I suspect he didn’t) feels good when he remembers doing it. This is BAD for Malcolm’s mental health. Yikes. : ( Poor baby.  

Ok. So that’s the first episode of season 2. I really liked it. It wasn’t perfect but I’m excited for what this season might bring. Be back next week.  

[grahamcarmen]

Hi, so I just finished the new season today! I have so many thoughts, the last few episodes felt kind of rushed? I wished they had gone about the whole situation between Gray and Carm at the end differently. More so on seeing them reunited. My biggest question, is why was he so quick on going back to VILE? He knew what they were capable of yes, was it to feed his criminal impulses? Why did ever want to steal in the first place? What led him to that conclusion and how did he learn of VILE? I was keen on seeing more of his backstory, and still need time to let the story simmer so I can analyze it more. It's just confusing. I guess it's just because the show ended that I feel so bittersweet y'know. What do you think Carmen would've done after they all disbanded? How could she leave them so quickly after she just got back to Team Carmen in the end? Besides wanting to see her mother. I was hoping they'd at least stay together.

i think that more than a few people feel that ( the knee jerk incredulity at her just leaving them a note and yeeting was real)

like disclaimer again: i do love carmen and this season this is just expanding on some little ??’s

on gray and “thinking gray.”: I was also feeling the lackluster on the payoff motivation wise for gray returning to VILE ( which was definitely needed as he was the secret weapon needed to finally get evil carmen back and at least partially inevitable due to ownership of the choices yadadadada )but like when he finally got his memories back he just repeated some things that i never really doubted. that gray did this of his own free will, he probably is of a lower empathy in general (which does not mean incapable of caring and doing the right thing. just that..~~~), that he regretted hurting carmen. in s1 he says his primary motivation as making more money and i was like”mmhmm fits.” being a thief and all and why not since they hadn’t introduced the big “needs to be able to tie up loose ends.” as a operative qualifier to anyone, including some of the recruits there. the only newer thing was his video that he seeked them out. which is interesting and all but sets him up as a go-getter so its so confusing that he’d choose to return to VILE ...a place where he was hurt and is so freaking selfish with what capers they choose to pursue. i kinda went on a tangent on another post that there is a theme of using a false sense of bonding to give them a little more loyalty which is like really heavy considering that means offering a “home” to what looks like operatives who might all be orphans but i don’t think it was highlighted enough to say “HEY YO” even tho GRAY LOOKS SO TIRED TO LEARN ABOUT HIS PAST WITH VILE

its really interesting because of the 3 people who had access to him/nature we got; carmen who only encouraged his desire to help (for the kiddos, for her safety, for assuring her that they were in...whatever... together, and make sure that they weren’t being secret spy jerks) ACME who got like...0 usefulness (riperonis ma guys), and VILE with maelstrom just hammering home all his shadier deeds with  “YEAH THIS IS YOU.”  AND HIM JUST ACCEPTING IT AFTER SITTING FOR A LONG AF TIME ALONE.

and when this was happening I was thinking about this analysis from another fandom about characters who resign to the law of the strong which could have been a reason for why gray doesn’t seem to hold the consequences for his failure against VILE even though he really should. (if they bothered but listen-)

its something that happens when characters choose to live in worlds they know are unfair, know that they choose to lie and steal and cheat, and thus should not be surprised or hurt when it happens to them in return. which of course lead to them not knowing where to draw the line on what happens to them...and i mean this in like some narratives usually go (hahaha no thats messed up please gtfo being treated like that is not ok and in allowing others to define your limits you are whittling yourself away). and they decide to live in resignation that. i am capable of bad... so i AM bad. (I am that guy. i’ve always been that guy) and makes them absolutely ripe for the (but you’ve been good . you can choose to be better.  it won’t erase the wrongs of the past but it will make for a better future)

but that still leaves exploration of “WHY WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE BY THE LAW OF THE STRONG??” and you know...not having anyone to rely on, poverty, or what was simple rebelliousness turning to darker and darker paths, are some easy reasons to put a spotlight on maybe our operatives having depth and like..arcs. especially any of those reasons combined. ESPECIALLY SINCE THEY’RE WHAT VILE CONSISTENTLY IS SHOWN OFFERING. (shadowsan really is their s-tier character huh)

which i really thought this show would go for when a shivering brunt who is loyal and protective asked if she was really going to be left behind or remember how unsympathetic most of them seemed to see carmen chloroformed because “she did interrupt our heist.” meaning that they understand this world. probably have understood it for longer than anyone should. (antonio being content as a “pawn” is the tenant in my head today) and why shouldn’t more money be important. or honestly how simple it was to accept that someone would just need more money.

with gray they introduced that he could be good and he could be bad but like leaned into “no all that niceness was fake and he’s bad.” due to the hyper specificity of the mind wipe apparently? which also leans into really flat interpretation of evil!carmen (i just mean that there is a lot there ...) meaning theres no really exploration of him and more of a judgment (even though he’s shown to be kind, snarky, and upfront, as himself without a mind wipe.) and then we wait...

the pacing of the last 2 episodes: adrenaline bebe!!! but also there were so many concepts being introduced and resolved and skimmed past so that it is a little confusing at some conclusions. like the scene you’re talking about where carmen just leaves a note and ghosts is like 30 seconds and thats a lot to unpack because ?? i’m really thinking that it might have been insinuating that carmen left them the pen specifically to give them a new home to wait for her because she was going on that little break like she planned (and they knew was the endgoal) because it was behind her note and presumably placed by her but because i was focusing on the letter goodbye like ??? i thought for some reason that it was zack saying he would now like to try ACME because HE thought of it and i was like ??when did you consider this?? and 3rd watch i was finally “ahhh ok ok i think i get it.”

another bitten off scene i think might have been when gray in his first mission is already exhibiting signs of going...”huh this is not good.”

from stopping carmen from unprofessionalism to seeing that new carmen is willing to up and leave the group for mental gymnastics instead of relying on them 100% to going to the ferris wheel where he DEFINITELY SAW HER TRYING TO KILL A CIVILIAN since it showed his reaction after ivy’s. and then it turn to team red because how they feel about it definately matters more than gray but its also so easy to miss that choosing to have gray witness that as the start of what makes him turn himself in (maybe this is just a possible interpretation and its midnight ok)

evil carmen! lost her empathy. ok. so then like thats a static judgment about how they’re gonna make her do bad stuff and she still absolutely cares about her history and VILE still needed to enforce bonding and giving her memories that they comforted her and gave her her coat so thats why she cares about it and her anger at betrayal and sense of loss that she still throws right in shadowsans face when “evil”

carmen thought she crossed a personal line?? like jeeeeeez that’s 6 months of crossing lines and the most recent and horrifying one happened like not even a minute ago and then 5 seconds later we get chief and her reconciling because yes it needed to happen so we’re not gonna address how traumatizing it was or

VILE JUST WENT ALL THE WAY DOWN HUH??

and all these things are important and have the groundwork for happening but man they just happen one after the other and its like

before moving on to the next thing and like let me breathe omg

and yeah that means that so many people were left confused because the show about family (carmen’s family that SHE built ) seemed to disband for carmen to go to see her mother at last alone, shadowsan to go to his brother and a heartbroken pair of red heads to join ACME

and we get a time gap before reuniting but only a few seconds to decide if reuniting was the plan all along(the pressure point)

and there is a lot of actual IN TIME that is broad strokes that many people have already picked whats going to haunt them that wasn’t explored more...

TLDR; i get it on both counts (gray and rushed)! glad there was some sweet in your bittersweet and since canon definitely had team red in the same place they absolutely reunited and moved back into the shop and carmen talked to them about how great her mom is and planned a dinner

[kannra21]

This time I watched Fugou Keiji Balance: Unlimited for real, meaning that all this knowledge I gained about that series from the previous time was just facts coming from different posts on Tumblr. And I got to know a lot about it thanks to you. You guys were a big help in figuring out some of the series' most important aspects, I appreciate your input on it.

Now that I’ve watched both episodes. I’m going to comment on some things I haven’t seen people talking much about, I’ll try giving it some highlight so I hope you enjoy.

1) The millionaire detective *or smtng more than that*-

Many expect the main character of the series to present himself in a way that he says his name and what he does for life, to give us an insight into who he is and to give us a better idea of what to expect of the series. But instead, the first episode opens with "I had a father and I had a mother", the series opens with a tragic story and tells us about the rich person's unfortunate life. Why's that? It's very important for Daisuke's character. Because, as we go through the series, the author probably predicted that audience would start judging him according to the way he treats people and work, just like Kato always does. The author tries to warn us not to judge a book by its covers. That's why it is so important that the beginning of the series opens this way.

2) Daisuke's and Kato's teamwork-

Daisuke, being a highly classified detective, knows his rights and what he can and can not do, which he exploits a great deal. He can damage people's vehicles and traffic control but he doesn't care, bc he's a detective and bc the law is on his side. He's using this same knowledge to reach his goal faster without wasting time on things that aren't that important, which means, morally or ethically important. Emotions like insecurity, guilt and regret aren't welcomed in this job. Sensitivity to other people's needs before yours are also irrelevant. Traumatizing a mother and a child from almost getting ran over isn't something that he'd preoccupy his mind with too much. He cares about the sufficiency of the mission and working in the favor of the government, as Ryo himself said.

Kato, on the other hand, is different. People come to him in the first place and the most important thing for him is to bring them peace and security, things that all police officers should actually have in mind. He is everything that Daisuke is not.

And when he told him "You're making quite the show here. How are you going to take responsibility for this?", we can notice that something clicked in Daisuke, that he told himself "ugh I went too far I should do something about it". And then he called HEUSC and told him to send reimbursements for DOUBLE the damage costs he caused for certain people. He also gave the Abura Emirate's seventh prince a billion yen when the car didn't even cost that much. So it’s evident that Daisuke does possess feelings like guilt, he just needs to be reminded of it.

The same goes for that scene when he tried to drop the vehicle into the river, Kato reached for the girl and told her to jump out. Daisuke doesn't care if she's a kid or if she's going to explode together with the van. It is important to him to save the rest + the kids are also considered criminals, he will take it upon himself to judge them as they actually deserved it. Kato, unlike him, can't let himself do that, he just can't. That's why he saved her and let her be with Hiroshi again. I love Kato for that.

Maybe Daisuke is a sufficient detective but Kato is there to remind him that the things he's doing aren't ok. He's giving him a sense of morality and ethics and that's why I think they're put together bc they make a great team. And they truly do, the problem is, Kato can't stand him. 😅

3) This funny moment-

I love how Kamei in the second episode found out ab the tragic death of some woman by going through one of his inappropriate sites and he's like: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"

Kato *annoyed bc he's as well judging him for his perverted ways and lack of devotion towards work*: "Shut up Kamei."

Kamei *big sad*: "It says she died from a drug overdose. That centerfold model Akiko Hoshida..."

Kato: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA??!! SERIOUSLY?"

Which leads me to the conclusion that:

Kato isn't that much different from Kamei.

Kato prefers only a specific type of women while Kamei drolls over every woman who looks even remotely pretty.

Kato has a type because the deceased centerfold model Akiko Hoshida and Suzue look very alike. Kato is also into "innocent" women bc he himself is innocent, as Akira stated. + He knows how to cook, refuses to drink alcoholic beverages during work hours and is actually pretty soft. Kato is more lovable than Daisuke in those aspects.

4) Kato's cluelessness-

Because of being so innocent, Kato doesn't have the ability to criticize others or judge "the way they breathe". He's too good, too considerate, too emphatic. That's why Daisuke's here to break his pretty picture of the world they're living in.

Kato was so easily deceived by the street performers and it was actually funny. Why would they do it otherwise than for money? No one wants to make an idiot out of themselves without a certain price.

He also thought of Suzue as one of them, the drug dealers I mean, acting as liaison. And it made me laugh so much bc he didn't know what's going to hit him. 😂

5) HEUSC-

I love HEUSC so much, this technology stuff is so lit, I wish I had it. It can detect lies, analize time, deduce certain information just from the help of a person's credit card, how much income they have, how much they lost over a couple of days, when and where, what were they buying. It can detect a person, personal information ab where they're from, age and date of birth. It also shows the person's heart rate. It can even work as a magnifier and control the traffic lights, isn't it crazy??

Daisuke's heart rate is always 60 during the whole interrogation. He's so freaking calm.

You also need to understand that Daisuke's session lasted longer than Cho-san's who used weak points such as family members and sense of right and wrong. Daisuke needed some time until their negotiation was done, he gave money to a drug addict in exchange for an information while Cho-san didn't lose anything, he could as well just deceive his suspect and get away with it.

Take into account that Daisuke went through a special training in England so his protocols are different from the normal Japanese ones.

6) Daisuke's jealousy-

Lmao Daisuke is stealing friends. He invited Akira to his own ramen during their Isezaki case.

He said "I can risk my life for Kato" and omg let me tell you, Daisuke became jealous so he made a move and even paid him to get into a costume to lure Kato and the rest of the hooligans to the top.

7) The elevator scene-

Kato standing in the middle of the elevator and Daisuke standing close to the corner as pinned as possible is what made my day. 😂

8) On the rooftop-

Daisuke's heart rate is 72 when shooting from a bazooka in the helicopter. Still too calm but I'd say that he's in a good physical condition considering that he's into boxing.

BTW he accidentally shoot towards Kato bc his target wasn't detected, it only wrote "primary target", he didn't do it on purpose.

But the sole thought of "stank needs to be eliminated" gets me every time. 😂

9) Daisuke joining the MCI-

Daisuke circled around the topic and refused to give the answer about why he decided to become a detective by redirecting the conversation towards Kato.

Let me tell you something, I watched too many crime series to know why he did that.

The reason is very personal.

And at the beginning of the whole anime he introduced himself to us with “I had a father and I had a mother”. I think he's trying to find the culprit for his parent's murder.

10) His lack of sleep-

Although he has lots of money, people like Daisuke tend to afford themselves a nice and cozy sleep. Despite that, Daisuke has as much under eyes as Kato. Which makes me wonder what keeps him awake at night, what's he thinking ab. Is he traumatized in a way? I can't wait for the next episodes to arrive!

Btw while watching the anime I fell in love with Kato even more, such a great character.

[photolover82]

The Masked Singer Season 5 Episode 2 Recap: It’s Group B Time, let’s meet them! (Commentary & Guesses)

Hello my fellow Masked Singer fanatics! Welcome (or welcome back) to Ana’s Masked Singer recap, where I, Ana (nice to virtually meet you btw), recap every single episode of The Masked Singer. Here we are again with season 5, but this time another group, Group B, which consist of Black Swan 🖤🦢, Piglet 🐷, Chameleon 🦎, Grandpa Monster 👹 👴, and Phoenix 🦜.

So, let’s begin with the first eliminated contestant of Group B:

The first eliminated contestant was:

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

Phoenix 🦜

Commentary: Ok, so this wasn’t surprising whatsoever, she sang Tik Tok by Kesha and you can obviously tell that she isn’t a singer at all. Like idk how else to explain it to you guys, but I guess she was talk singing... kind of like Wendy/the lips last season... so it was kind of easy the moment she opened her mouth to start singing to recognize immediately who it was...

Having said that, she was revealed to be (as I knew, this one wasn’t hard)...

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

Caitlyn Jenner

Hehe I knew it! Again, like Wendy Williams aka the lips, this was way too obvious. She already walked around Hollywood Blvd with the Don’t Talk to me hoodie on so I knew she was going to be on the show but the min I saw Phoenix, the clues, and the moment she opened her mouth, I was so certain it was Caitlyn. No, I am not a big Kardashian/Jenner fan tbh but I used to watch the show way back when.... like in 2016? I am not sure, but I recognized her voice immediately.

Now onto my guesses for the remaining 4:

1. Black Swan 🦢🖤

Commentary: So she sang Barracuda by Heart and damn, she got a strong voice! It’s a really amazing voice, even though the song choice wasn’t my favorite, because it didn’t suit her voice completely and showcase her range, but she was badass (can I say that? Whatever, this is my show, I’ll say it, it’s not THAT bad of a word) tbh. In certain parts, she was like screaming a lot and I was like um maybe this isn’t her best song choice but her voice is amazing! She gives me Seahorse mixed with Flamingo vibes, I love her!

I think she is singer extraordinaire:

Jojo (not Siwa but we have another Jojo on our hands)

Reasoning/Clues: there are so many clues that match but her voice is the main thing that clicked for me that it was her, but let’s look at those clues so you can get the picture:

Wanted Poster with RV highlighted= she appeared in the movie RV with Robin Williams

She talks about being trapped and someone else’s prey and then getting out of it= she was trapped in her record label & there was controversy surrounding it and she had to sue her label for not releasing her music

A 5 on a watch= she toured with 5th harmony and has released 5 albums

Cluedledoo (Rooster) clue= she covered a monster= she covered one of T-Pain aka the Monster from season 1’s songs

2. Piglet 🐷

Commentary: He was my favorite of the night with his rendition of Speechless by Dan + Shay! You guys know if you have seen my recaps in season 3 (or even last week with Robopine) that I have a soft spot for a guy who has a super silky voice, like either boy band type or R&B smooth af kinda vibe (i.e. Fox in season 2, Turtle in season 3, Robopine in season 5).... or should I say any guy who can falsetto and Piglet is giving me those boy band smooth vibes, I love it so much! His voice is soooo familiar I am so sure about this one by the way.

My guess and I am so sure of this is:

Nick Lachey

Reasoning/Clues: This one I recognized immediately, the voice was really easy to figure out, but these clues also are pretty convincing (oh and he was on Ken’s show, I Can See Your Voice, so it’s not surprising that he would be on this show):

The clue package had a dating show vibe = reminiscent of Love is Blind, the Netflix dating show he hosts with his wife Vanessa

The world saw his heart break= he had a very public relationship with his ex-wife Jessica Simpson and they even had a reality show together called Newlyweds

Cluedle-doo clue: “knows how to stay cool even in the heat”= referring to his past aka his boy band 98 degrees (get it? Because that’s the heat and they are cool because they are a boy band... well played Masked Singer well played... I wanna meet whoever makes these clues because they are great with puns and they seem super clever)

3. Chameleon 🦎

Commentary: Chameleon surprised me I am not gonna lie. I thought he was going to be another athlete like Whatchamacallit last season or White Tiger from season 3 because he was so tall but nope he surprised me with his rendition of Ride with Me by Nelly. He seems like a legit rapper and I liked him a lot than I thought I would honestly so this guess isn’t totally out of left field.

My guess is that this is...

Wiz Khalifa

Reasoning/Clues: so yeah, the voice and the height kinda gave it away to me (Wiz is 6 foot 4 inches and his body type matches the chameleon), but also yeah clues I have to give you guys some logic bombs instead of being like eh that voice and height BOOM WIZ KHALIFA... yeah no it doesn’t work like that, so here are the logic bombs hehe:

Dice with 2 and 3 on it= he did a song with Miley Cyrus called 23

007 clue= he has a song called (yes this is real, look it up) James Bong (omg I am trying not to laugh while typing this but whatttt?! Google really is a gem omg 😳😂) and he played James Bond in the music video

His love of technology & “put tech in technicolor”= apparently, the guy is a huge tech geek and has said it in a lot of interviews (wow humans are so complex and cool, I would have never thought that this man is a tech savvy guy... but the more you know I guess <P.S. I Googled half of these things... like idk this off the top of my head duh, I usually go by voice with my guesses and then I google the clues>)

4. Grandpa Monster

Commentary: He sang Mambo No. 5 and yeah it’s a basic choice for a song, but I liked it. He is not my favorite by any means and now that I listen to it again, I can only hear this person and I am not a fan of him like whatsoever (even tho I gotta acknowledge he has changed and I have *I KNOW... I HATE ME TOO* agreed with stuff he has said in his podcast un ironically.... yeah I am so sorry, I hate myself for saying this too... anyways let’s just get to the person I mean

I have a sneaking suspicion that it is (unfortunately):

Logan Paul

Reasoning/Clues: Yup, um... I really hope I am wrong but honestly ever since someone said it in the YouTube comments section of his performance, I can’t un hear it and I am shook honestly (at least it’s not his brother... I mean we can get worse, and he has respected the pandemic and not been a prick like his *cough* brother *cough*... just saying.. oh and if you don’t know what I am talking about or who this is, he’s a YouTuber who got into some um controversy because he filmed a dead body in 2018 so there’s that... oh and his brother has done a billion worse things than him, but you can Google that one if you are interested in finding out more because it’s too much for me to talk about and we are not even talking about Jake (that’s the brother))... Anyways, sorry, I ramble, but ugh the clues seem convincing and it irks me that it is because I am not a fan of neither of these guys and I don’t want them in the show but whatever I guess he’s the lesser of 2 evils:

He was a troublemaking fool as a youngster= yeah probably regarding that suicide forest video a couple of years ago (that ok, lemme give him credit, he has apologized for it and has kind of proven himself... yuck I hate saying that, I am NOT defending him I swear)

Acting out for all eyes on me= he used to be very well known for pranks on his channel back in the day (before the incident) and he did some stupid stuff for clout lemme tell ya (I never liked these guys, like ever, I thought they were weird.... not my demographic I guess, I wasn’t 12 nor a boy)

6 in Xs and Os like football plays = he did play football 🏈 in high school, he was so good that and actually attributes playing football for long term brain damage he has that makes him as the Wikipedia article says it (I am legit gonna quote what it says because I thought it was fascinating) “affects his ability to have empathy and a human connection with others.” (Mind you, he himself claimed this according to this article)

“Acting out”= he has acted in a few things before and starred in The Thinning

Web with the shooting star= he is a web star, get it? YouTube... web star... hehe again these clue writers are *chef’s kiss*

Cluedle-doo clue: he has trained for battle= now his new thing is boxing and he has trained for actual fights before, his first one being against British YouTuber KSI which he lost... oh and I almost forgot, how can I forget this cute little detail.... he is set to fight Floyd Mayweather this summer apparently... OH AND DID I MENTION HE IS MAKING 5 MILLION DOLLARS FROM THIS DEAL?! He’s winning either way with this fight like damn... but that wasn’t part of it, I just thought it was trippy... again I say, Google is a gem, u find some interesting reads

Ok so that’s it (what a great note to end on lol)! I hope you guys enjoy! Sorry for it being so long and taking so much time to do.. it’s been a crazy last couple of days! I will try to get the next one this upcoming weekend so I’ll see you guys then. (Ohhh btw I now live tweet the show on my Twitter- @photolover82 so if you want to follow me on there and live tweet with me, that can be fun!) Bye guys and don’t forget to like, comment, and do all the social media-y things, you know the drill!

[heloisedaphnebrightmore]

First of all, I was so nervous I sent that last message without flipping the anon switch because I didn't double check like usual. Lol. It's only a matter of time so hopefully you figure it out before then. 😉

Also, I could not get through this entire post without dying of laughter. I was laughing so hard I was crying last night. It took me 10+ minutes to get a hold of myself. I'm over here having the time of my life and you're going crazy trying to figure it out. I'm sorry I'm laughing but it's just so much fun for me. 😂

Aw Gina, I love you too!!! I'm glad to be back too. I'll try to be more consistent. 😊

Welp, at least now you know I'm not from the UK if I don't know the difference between pounds and euros. Haha. But I Googled it and omg 120 pounds is even more than 120 euros! Geez!

Oh gosh no, I'm alright. No need to be nervous. I just catch a lot of colds because I spend a lot of time in the cold and as we've established, I only kind of take care of myself. Haha.

That draft is everything! I'm gone for two days and you're ready to send out a search party for me. 😅 I wish I'd waited so I could see that post. 🤣🤣🤣 I say post it anyway just so I can see. Maybe you can get the entire Harry Potter side of Tumblr searching for me. (I'm kidding! 😅)

Omg I'm just glad that at least last night it wasn't me that kept you up until 7am but instead it was Tiktok. I'm only responsible for the hour between 4 and 5am. So that's something at least. 😅

because no, I don't want to talk about me, I am ready to find out who you are!

I think we might have to come up with a rule here. I think when you ask a series of questions at the end (like in your last message) I get to pick one identity question from the group but you also have to include a getting to know you question that we both answer (like favorite color or favorite movie or something). 😊

Here are my highlights from your lists:

The Shadowhunters thing actually could be a useful clue if you know where to look or who to ask. So I'm glad you remember that. 😉

Personal Edition:

Ok the first three made me smile so much. You're the best. 😊

4. 6 days ago you wrote; the new semester has started

Dang Gina! You're really out here making a timeline of all our interactions aren't you? 🤣🤣🤣

5. You are hoping you'll be able to read and interact a little more.

Once again, this actually could be a clue if you know where to look.

7. You only kind of take care of yourself; Let me get my slipper 😅

No slippers needed today. After this I'm gonna have brunch and I promise to drink a full glass of something with my meal. (I hate water but it'll be something)

9. You are doing a research project on landing mechanics in a specific sport; This is where I thought I knew who you were. Then you destroyed it by saying; You are majoring in science and you like testing and analyzation 🙈

I'm super interested in who you thought I was with this one. I am curious to know how the second portion destroyed that, because research and analyzation go together, do they not? I'm confused.

18. We talked a few times in different places; How is that a clue?! 😂

That's literally the most important clue I've given you! It means you might have to look outside of our asks to find answers to my clues! I actually thought I gave myself away the other day, and I was absolutely dying of laughter watching you respond and realizing you hadn't noticed.

Conclusions:

You are actually correct on all three of those! You do follow me, I am over 18, and I am from the US!

It sounds like the science thing is what's tripping you up the most, so I will clarify (kind of) "I'm majoring in a science"

Of those clues you asked for, many of them will give me away! So instead I will technically answer one but make it extra vague; There are 3 names people on Tumblr call me, and in alphabetical order the letters they start with are E, I, and M.

Yes, I much prefer these vague clues... 😄 But to be honest, I threw in a couple good ones this time so hopefully you've made a little progress and have some ideas of where to look next. I also honestly think I gave myself away today, so I am anxiously awaiting your response. 😬

(I wish I could put a read more in asks, this has gotten super long so apologies to your followers. Although by the looks of the likes on some of our messages it looks like some people are enjoying this as much as I am 😅) -⭐

Shoot, I wish you forgot to switch the anon xD

Actually, it is hilarious, so I completely understand xD I’m feeling like Sherlock Holmes but a dumber, less useful version. Like a faulty Sherlock Holmes xD

Rest under the cut :D

I don’t want you to feel like you have to message me or it’s like an obligation so if you have no time and you are too busy, then just take your time, I completely get it, we are not rushing anywhere. <3

Hahaha you would love it if everyone searched for you :D The anonymous Tumblr celebrity xD I might post it regardless, but I don’t want to get attacked about trying to expose my anon’s identity. I have seen posts where people went off on accounts saying they shouldn’t try knowing their anon’s identity as they chose to be on anon for a reason. I don’t really want to have to explain myself to everyone and coming off stalkerish and you are the only one who knows the whole story and a couple of my followers xD I will have to think this through, until then it sits in my drafts. :D

Okay, pink and black are my favourite colours and I don’t have a favourite movie. Now that it’s out of the way, back to you xD

You see, you said you spend a lot of time in the cold! Once again this makes me think of the same person I initially thought of. When you referred to Shadowhunters, again it’s the same person I am thinking of, but there is also another person in my mind so now I have two options.

Research and analysis go together, but again the person I thought of said something about studying sport stuff, exercise science thingy, that’s why it threw me off. That’s why I changed my mind and decided you are not that person. But now that you say A science it makes me think of that person again, but on the other hand I don’t know what the other protentional person studies. God, you are killing me!

You say we have talked the other day. There was only 4 people I have talked to outside of my asks recently and one of them was the same person I thought of from the beginning, but also my second option was between those 4 people too.

Both of my options are 18+, I follow them, and they are from the US. You see, both of my options have at least one of those letters, but now I’m off to confusion land again, because you said they call you 3 names. Who on earth uses 3 names? xD

5. You are hoping you'll be able to read and interact a little more. - Once again, this actually could be a clue if you know where to look.

This did not help at all xD I think what you consider clue is not a clue for me and what I consider a clue is not a clue for you xD This is getting twisted at this stage xD I honestly think we are both in the same Discord server, I am quite sure at this point.

The fact that you think you gave yourself away makes me feel utterly useless. I am trying to think of all the people I have talked to recently and all of them has I, E and M in their name or their name starts with those letters, but only one of them talked to me about cold and science. Whether I am missing something very obvious or I know who you are, and I am simply questioning myself at this point.

Let me ask you one question, which would help me find the right answer. Have you got any injuries and if yes, what’s that? :D

I feel like I’m close, but at the same time I keep questioning it <3

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

WhatsApp? Part 6. (Steve Rogers x reader)

Description: You’ve never been lucky with guys. You just wanted to catch someone’s eye, to be loved. One day, that’s about to turn completely - with one fake, completely imagined number a guy gave you

A/N: Sending a nod to Starlord’s direction with this one. ;) Also I am so sorry about the voice attributes rant, I studied special pedagogics and in here, voice, its attributes and the speech itself is a huge part of ENT studies centering around ears, throat, and neck...

A/N: THANK YOU FOR 200 FOLLOWERS. OMG.

A/N: I am sorry, @missdictatorme for no phone s*x. Ily by the way.

A song which I want to highlight for this chapter: Fallingforyou by the 1975.

Warnings: none really?

Tagging: @missdictatorme @songforhema

Read more here, babe ;):   Part One  Part Two  Part three  Part four  Part five

If you like things in one place, you might like the series master list: H E R E

The time had tendencies to stop when Steve so far, far away from you. 

You hadn't got a single clue where could be or what's he doing but you hoped he's safe and well. Sometimes you looked out of the window for ten minutes straight just thinking about where he could be. You checked your phone every morning and evening - nothing. He wasn't really messing around when he told you it can take a whole month before he comes back to you.

Deena, who was a self-proclaimed dancing teacher volunteered to lead the choreo. And she wasn't really bad at it.

At least you had your head all Steve-cleared off do could actually focus on your choreography for the big evening itself. It was somehow borderline racy but still PG-13 friendly as you thought it will be. May made sure it will be. You were dancing in sync, and you were grouped to trios for this one. You were basically repeating actions of the trio which went before you, it was simple yet good, or so you thought. You felt good about it at least.

You were in the last trio along with Deena and Marzia, another girl from your office so it would be double insured that you can't actually fuck up.

The girls made sure you acted all bossy - at some point, you started to use chairs to make it even more clear. That you were the ones being on the top during your dance. Before you could even dance in slight sync, it took you two weeks of every of your working day afternoon. Every one of you worked on it hard and it was paying off. Even you, probably the least talented person, or so you felt, could incredibly sway your hips. You didn't think that you can actually look that deductive yet you did.

Val told you that you were a killer - you took her only partially seriously because she was always friendly flirting with you.

Sometimes Peter came along. He was the sound tech guy every time. And then made fun of you when you accidentally fucked up. You loved that clueless boy so much.

"Okay. What do you think?" - You asked Peter, drinking from a water bottle. It was week three of you almost destroying your legs on those a bit too much tall high heels. You didn't want to wear them - your feet were swollen and hurt after every afternoon, but Deena shushed you off. It should look sexier than you dancing in Canada shoes and that Deena considered a pure fact.

"That you will kill yourself during that turn around with the chair in your hands." - He answered honestly with a childish smile, winging his feet in old Converse shoes from side to side. - “But there is a chance you will kill somebody else, so it's 50-50.”

"How gentle of you, Parker. You must be a real hit with the ladies, am I right?" - You nudged his shoulder, taking those devilish shoes off your feet, massaging them. He grinned at you.

"I can say obscene things like actually liking it out loud here, Y/N. And you know that!" - Peter laughed out loud, showing the gentle wrinkles around his hazelnut eyes. - "And since I ripped your tee off? May would have killed me if she actually heard me saying something nice about you!"

You had to laugh at his remark. You both were poking fun out that event since the next day Pete actually came to visit you, only May didn't find it as amusing as you two. Poor boy never got his free Oreo milkshake. And to be fair - Val actually started the beef with some pretty explicit jokes. And because you two were who you two were, it didn't take so long before you put that beef on fully.

"So continue calling me dumb. That will do. That's basically every girl's dream." - You nudged his head and left to a small cab to change your clothes. Your eyes just checked your phone as they were used to do all along those three weeks.

And your heart performed a fucking parkour jump at the sight of the green diode beeping at your eyes. The breath was caught in your throat when you gulped. Your hands shook by their will when you took the phone in your hands. It was a text from him. Steve was actually back.

As you opened the conversation, his promise popped directly in your head. A call. He promised you a fucking call. Steve willingly offered you to hear his voice. Three weeks ago. And now he was back. You were on cloud fucking nine. That was an offer you couldn't pass on.

Steve: I was so looking forward to texting you from the moment we took off. I'm back and well, Y/N.

Dear lord, you thought to himself, your eyes were firmly closed and you could feel a smile creeping on your lips. Thank you for keeping that man safe and well. Thank you for letting him come back.

Y/N: I missed you so much and I have so much thing to tell you! How was your little work trip?

You couldn't care less about being eager or too obvious with being excited about him being back. It was just natural for you to be excited. You had to tell Peter, so you changed your clothes the quickest way. You ran away from the cab looking like a mess with your bag over your shoulder with your smile looking better than a five-star hotel.

"Pete, Pete, Pete!" - You quirked in a high pitch. Peter wasn't sure if you hadn't got mad, looking at you with his puppy eyes in a horrified manner.

"Tell me that you have won a million dollars and I don't have to go to school anymore. I beg you." - Peter mumbled with a side smile. You shoved your phone right into his eyes and smiled widely. - "You're shitting me!" - He fangirled as hard as you had and performed your typical victory dance.

"Peter! Have you just cussed? We've talked about that!" - May shouted into your direction and you both freeze. Then you giggled.

"That means..." - Peter wiggled his eyebrows. Of course, you've told him about that call promise. He knew everything that happened with Steve. Not because he wanted to know, but because you rambled about Steve as much as he has rambled about Liz Toomes.

"You bet your favorite Lego puzzle!" - You hummed a tune and Peter laughed again.

"It isn't called a puzzle, to be honest..." - Peter trailed off the topic again, but you were leaving at that point, so you didn't take him too seriously.

"I don't caa-are." - You sang playfully and left the studio you rented for your choreography training, hoping you would get home as soon as possible.

---

The European job didn't go as bad as they were warned about but it didn't go exactly as smooth as Steve hope it will. He really got his hopes set high to be earlier at home. Sometimes he wanted to just take his phone off his bag, turn it on and text you that he and his friends are ok. But Natasha almost knifed him with her eyes every time that thought crossed his mind.

In the end, they were tired, really dirty, sleepy like 24/7. Even Sam, who usually tried to talk a big hole into others heads, layed in total silence. Now he was most likely dead on the back seats, covering his face with his forearm. 

Of course, you were the first thing on his mind when he got to his phone - after having a long-ass sleep, a great warm shower and a bunch of unhealthy food ordered from a near China restaurant. 

You texted back almost immediately, which made him smile and relax on the bed. He had a feeling that maybe you would be pretty pissed about his sudden, unexcusable need to disappear to a different continent because of a work a don't make me remind him that you still didn't even know what in the hell he's doing. But the better he got to know you, the more difficult and surreal saying his true identity to you was.

Almost unthinkable even. 

Y/N: So that promise, can I still count on it? 

You asked after he told you a little about his three weeks in Europe. He didn't lie but he definitely didn't tell you anything that could give you an actual image of what happened there - a lot of counterespionage from Nat, a lot of fighting and a lot of bad guy's blood spilling. He was giving you a gentle, sweet, careful silver linings to keep you safe. Those were his intentions - protecting you at all costs before knowing the truth. 

Steve: Of course. I am a man of my word. Today at seven p.m.? 

It was already five p.m. so two hours were remaining but he was sure it will be a terror for him. Maybe you'll just refuse to move this far behind the formal line today? He knew he's shitting himself at the moment.

Y/N: Okay. I'll be waiting, handsome.

---

Your hands literally shook as you panicked. 

You needed to calm down asap. It wasn't an eye-to-eye meeting with him nor it was an actual FaceTime. It was just a fucking call which got you so off-rail. This got you even more intensely than when you were waiting for a call from some office lady whether you got that job or you did not. 

It was Steve for god's sake. Not just someone. Steve. You felt like Lykke Li in one of those videos Peter showed you. She was extremely obsessing about a man, having his pictures all over her apartment, just wished he would take notice of her. 

You would do the same at that point if you actually got some of his photos. You were just one hundred percent sure. 

That one call was everything you could actually think about - you showered beforehand even tho he couldn't smell you through the phone just to feel pretty. You also did have a proper dinner so your liver would not do anything unplanned. You even tried some dumb yoga bullshit Marzia and Suzie thought you to calm yourself down. 

You felt so, so, so stupid for overreacting that strongly but then you reminded yourself that it is mysterious, funny and gentle Steve. And you panicked again, trying to imagine his voice. Would it be high-pitched or too deep? Would it be raspy or smooth? There were too many options - too many tembers, too many speed rates, and too many articulation options.

Maybe he stutters? Which would be kinda cool you hoped. Or maybe he has a problem with saying out loud some letters? Wow, you were overwhelmed for a slight bit at that moment. But no matter ho Steves speech will be, you told to yourself, you will not give up on him because of that. 

And let me say that you almost jumped off your bed when the phone rang in your hand with his name in the fucking middle of that, suddenly too small, screen. This was it. This was the moment.

You tried to breathe until the lowerest part of your lungs wasn't filled with air and then you quickly answered. That feeling of nervousness was all over your body, you felt partially numb and all you could say was that you marched around your room with your cheeks burning on fire. 

“H-Hey, hey.” - You mumbled out, which was a big win-win for you. You didn't stutter that much, just maybe breathing a bit too heavily. All you could hear was a chuckle from the other side of the phone. 

It almost sent you right to fainting. That was a sound of gods - you would bet your whole lego set on that. Holy goddamn shit. You jumped at the bed, feeling really quirky and cheese. You just fangirled over his chuckle. Great. You were going crazy. That was a fact. If Pete saw you acting around this clingy and cheesy, he would be laughing so hard.

“Hey.” - He answered with a chuckle under his breath, he sounded so calm and smooth, to begin with. (It wasn't the truth at all. But he was trying his actual best to appear cool in front of you.) - "Is everything alright out there? Am I interrupting you from something? I didn't mean to..." - And there he was. His usual nervousness got a hold on him eventually. That wasn't as smooth as he anticipated, but exactly make you like him more.

He was just as nervous as you were. You weren't acting like a total idiot after all.

"No. Of course, you're not... Interrupting anything. Don't be silly." - You laughed with a high, nervous tone, sounding like a boy in puberty. Well, damn. This was going so off rails so fast.

You analyzed his voice precisely. It wasn't super deep nor rough for that matter. He had actually really smooth voice which was just really nice to listen to. And he had to think you're an idiot.

"I can't believe I've done it." - Steve said all of a sudden stopping you in the middle of marching up to your bed again. One of your feet was on the mattress and the second one was still on the ground. You looked like a stretching ballerina.

"It feels so surreal, am I right?" - You chuckled, finally taking a hold of your own voice. You finally sounded like a grown woman.

"Exactly. It's... Wow. I don't know what it didn't cross my mind earlier. You could told me a lot of your stories so quicker and it would be much more fun."

"So you don't find reading my miserable life stories interesting. Okay, noted." - You teased him slightly. Steve laughed, saying a loud 'nooo!'. God, this man was just something.

"I didn't mean that at all!" - That was the first time you heard him actually giggled. He was doing it all the time because of your texts. But this was for the first time in real life you've heard it. The sight of you was messy - your eyes shone, your cheeks were rosy and your hair was not in the slightest order at all because your subconsciousness made you play with it. But you looked so happy and your smile way so relaxed.

"Why are you yelling so loud here, man?" - A completely different voice cut through the conversation. It was a bit higher than Steve's and it was way smooth with a seriously strong accent. - "Is that, oh damn." - The man laughed while you smiled at the ways Steve demanded the man leaving his room.

"I'm Sam! Nice to meet you, Steve's girl!" - He yelled before the door shut. Steve grunted out loud. That was so sweet.

"So you're telling them about me, I suppose? Was that Sam or James?" - You giggled, making Steve grunt again. Sam knew which moments to choose.

"That was Sam. I told them about you, however, the girlfriend thing is something Sam had made up." - Steve choked in defeated voice.

"Don't worry. It's fine. It made me laugh." - You calmed Steve down about Sam's behaviour. It was pretty funny and sweet for you. Sam to Steve was definitely like Pete to you. Best cheering up fangirling friend you could ask for.

"That was nice." - Steve commented at your laugh so smoothly without a single doubt in his voice.

"Thank you." - A dazzled sight came out of your lips.

---

You two talked for what seemed like forever. It was a conversation about nothing - just a constant back and forward with a lot of nervousness, thank yous and sweet voices.

Steve was dazzled by your voice. He could listen to it before sleeping, with his eyes closed. Let me, as the narrator, tell you - you were such sweet dorks. Both nervous, out of your minds basically. This one phone call actually meant something to both of you. It was your first form of actual contact, just hearing the other side and being so breathless and speechless because both of you actually existed.

The texting was fine, sure. But it didn't feel like this. It wasn't as real as this.

Nothing could tell him how you laughed when his dorky ass made you chuckle somehow. The way you spoke was so calm, relaxing him to death. Or texting couldn't reveal your voice raising up when you got excited about remembering something.

When Sam peeked into Steve's room, he stood there in silence for a moment or two. Steve was standing up in from of a window, looking down on the street, telling that Y/N something in a quiet, humming tone.

"I don't want to interrupt you." - Sam spoke quietly, freaking Steve he hell out. The tall blonde turned to Sam, covering the phone with his hand. - "But we're about to watch Footloose."

"I'll be there in a minute." - Steve nodded sadly. He didn't want this to end even if it was as dorky and cheesy as it was. But a movie night with his fellas after Europe was a thing Steve was looking forward to.

"I need to go, Y/N." - Steve started slowly and he would swear that his heart hurt at those words. - "We're about to watch something called Footloose?"

"Oh, my dear lord. You've never ever seen Footloose? Are you serious?" - You asked in an unbelieving voice. - "THE Footloose with Kevin Bacon? Steve, you really make me feel like you're not from today's world. Deena told me she hoped that her prom would look like the ending scene, but you know, Kevin Bacon never came." - You giggled.

His stomach shrank at that remark. He's not from today's world. He's the man out of time. And you have no idea, you just joked.

"I think it's exactly the one with Kevin Bacon, yeah." - Steve circled his hand around his waist, sounding nervously all of the sudden. What was he thinking about? Of course that his true identity would hunt him eventually down, even in his little personal bubble he created with you.

"Yeah..." - You sighed and shut up for a second. - "Let's call it a night today, what do you say?"

"You're right, I should go or Sam and James would start without me." - Steve tried to sound as relaxed as he could. You couldn't recognize he hides something - you've heard him for the first time. You haven't got any idea that something's off.

"Would you call me tomorrow? It's your turn." - He teased you, but you grunted a little, giving the answer away.

"I can't tomorrow, I'm at work, then we have a choreography training and we have a ladies night... I won't be at home at all. I'm sorry." - You said sadly.

"Don't be sad about that, Y/N. I'm not little. Just tell me when and I'll take some time for you, alright?" - Steve asked to make you feel better.

He slowly realized that this will be like a drug to him. Once he tasted it, he would need more and more of it to even survive. There was no turning back now. Phone calls were something new, exciting, something he wanted to do until the dawn comes. Just to feel that he haves you closer than normally.

"Hope that will be soon. Now, I'll go to sleep and you'll go and enjoy Kevin Bacon's amazing rebel-ish and dancing method acting, ok? And enjoy Footloose, like that song. It's amazing. Bye, handsome." - You said with a happy voice.

"Goodnight, Y/N. I'll text you in the morning." - Steve sighed with a soft smile on his lips, ending the call. Yeah, maybe it would be really difficult to tell you who he is and maybe you'll freak out at hell - but at that moment? He felt like a pretty attractive school girl realizing that she is falling for a nerd from her Chemistry class.

Beautifully numb and so glad he couldn't even express it.

[underwaterwoods]

so i saw the star war

spoilers ahoy

i guess this is just gonna be random bullet points

* i actually feel pretty chill about it. yay for being spoiled. also like.... if you ignore the ridiculous stuff there’s actually a lot to have fun with in this one. i don’t know how i’ll feel about it once i’ve processed it more. i just know i had fun while watching it, which i know isn’t true for everybody. i totally understand the negativity - it all makes sense to me. i’m just glad i sort of.... FORCED myself to have enough distance to just go in like ‘i’M PrepArED fOr wHAtEveR’

*i did like all the jumping around between locations in the first half and how ben would show up everywhere rey was. what a ‘you’re everywhere i go’ pairing. /chef’s kiss/. also having the different locations gives a sense of spaciousness (even if it’s all happening over a short period of time) which i missed in tlj.

*one of the things that gave me the most joy as the hux thing ??? X’’’D it was EXACTLY like that ‘the farce awakens’ ep where hux LITERALLY JOINS THE RESISTANCE cuz he can’t stand kylo. like what kind of fanfic...... how do the hux fans out there feel? (i really love the hux fans they’re a great bunch XD). shame that he was gone right after though.

* i actually enjoyed the trio dynamic? like i get the desire to move away from ‘trio mentality’ but the rey/poe tension with finn as mediator was fun. and finn and poe as joint generals? adorable. shame that the whole finn/poe thing got a bit clouded by.... stormpilot baiting and rose erasure and all the things... Also i’m not anti any character - i like zorii - but.... let poe stay a gay icon? i guess he can still be a queer icon it’s all good i’m down for whatever.

*speaking of finn.... loved seeing more of his humour back. didn’t love that there was no unpacking of how he feels taking out stormtroopers. but loved the found family of jannah and the other ex-stormtroopers. i feel like that gave SOME resolution/depth to finn’s origins. and finn being a non force user but seemingly super attuned to the force and its ways? i can roll with that.

*more speaking of finn... i wonder what they were doing with the ‘thing he wants to tell rey that he never gets to tell rey’. seems like an obvious ‘i love you’ thing. but at the same time we got reylo (/basks in that for a second/). it feels to me like throwing a bone to the finnrey people? like they didn’t get it in this movie but it could be a thing in the future? regaurdless, i did like how finn and rey were very connected and back to that loving friendship they had in tfa. we never quite got the ‘you have a force bond with the supreme leader?!!’ conversation but we got.... SOME conversation.

* speaking of the supreme leader... kinda love that we got renperor AND ben solo TM. i prefer to view ben more holistically (he is both ‘ben’ and ‘kylo’) but i get that making them two distinct identities was a helpful shortcut of sorts. he could ‘kill’ kylo and switch to being ben in a single scene. i always prefer Soft Boi Ben but if we were gonna get Bad Boy Kylo i’m glad they established it right out the gate. it was like ok, this is what to expect; this is where we’re at with this character. 

*ben with his costume change at the end....... omg. gave me BIG smuggler!Ben vibes. urgh, give me all the AUs. ben deserves more.

*the amount of swagger when he was fighting the KOR

*idk i feel like i’m not even touching on the big stuff. this was just a ‘get all my side thoughts out of my system’ post.

*adam’s smile after the kiss though......... ...  /the most beautiful thing in this world/

*truly iconic that people were right about the strategic, covert introduction of force healing via baby yoda like one month before tros.

*oh yeah it was wILD that so much of the imagery from the trailers/tv spots etc was in like the first five mintues of the movie ??? i totally assumed the ‘i have been every voice you’ve ever heard inside your head’ moment would be climactic rather than right up front

*oh yeah the vader mask.... that didn’t really mean anything in the end then did it?

* re: ben’s death. maybe it’s because i was braced for it but in some ways it’s the best way he could have gone. he was definitely happy and reunited with the light - both through love of rey and of his family. hIGHKey could have done with ben’s force ghost also appearing at the end? the only good thing about not seeing it is.... LF deciding to retcon his death ? ??XD obs they’re not gonna but if you want a crackpot silver lining there it is.

*what exactly does rey’s future look like, may i ask?

* oh yeah, Passing The Saber Through The Force. maybe my favourite moment. the force bond as a bare concept is so romantic to me i would watch a whole trilogy just exploring the magic system of that - it’s limitations and possibilities. 

* i do like that jj developed the visual style of the bond. we got to see them occupying the same space, the way each of them would be seeing the other (’can you see my surroundings, i can’t see yours, just you’)

*i miss that rian johnson sound editing on the bond though..... god, the iNTIMACY of the tlj bond scenes....

*’i DID want to take your hand’

*also just the word choice of ‘take your hand’/ ‘i offered you my hand’. it’s extremely marriage.

*there was also a moment in the hanger when ben was like ‘we’re one’ basically? he was saying it in the context of rey’s lineage but still...............the validation. one soul. 

*palps was like ‘you live and die together’ which made me REALLY think of skytalkers podcast. obviously assumed they would both have to LIVE together but.... /deep sigh/

*blah this could go on forever i’ll add more later

edit #1:

* OH YEAH! reverse anidala was such a thing! why did it have to be SO reverse anidala though? X’D instead of taking her life, he gives her his own. (i know it’s not clear anakin totally killed padme etc etc but ya feel me)

* ok i hate that ben died obvs obvs but, taking that for what it is, it was very romeo and juliet. i kinda love just the imagery of it. like... the physical blocking/choreography of adam getting daisy into his arms, holding her, then he falls and it’s her holding him. the way she catches his neck. really reminded me of the smoothness of the bridal carry. and rey’s flexed foot in that moment of shock. love the body language. back to that kind of ‘’staccato’’ rey of tfa days.

edit #2:

*lololol @ LF trying to establish how ‘bad’ kylo is by having him kill a bunch of people in the beginning. it was just.... Hot.

edit #3:

* rose deserves better. obviously. she looked so good though. i like that she had some moments with connix too. 

* ben called han ‘dad’......

*ben standing there, overlooking the waves, with his leG EXTENDED BEFORE HIM. wanderer above a sea of fog. wanderer above a sea of foggg.

* rey having compassion for the snake thing. we been knew. kinda nice to have it in there. obviously good set up for ~later force healing shenanigans~

* OH YEAH OH YEAH. i kept thinking about atla. i know people have been making comparisons to it from the start and i’ve been DEEPLY INTO those comparisons. but it was truly a blessing for me to remember.... there is a version of this out there that you love and that is Good Content TM. legit i can just go watch atla again to heal from this. omg yeah cuz REY HEALING HIS WOUND ALSO HEALED HIS SCAR. very crystal cave.......... nah but nah but - the ‘you are every jedi’ was EXTREMELY avatar-esk..... like, engage avatar state. i don’t like how it ended up being the same old conflict between jedi and sith - ‘good’ and ‘bad’ - OBVIOUSLY THE POINT IS TO INTEGRATE THE CONFLICTING PARTS OF SELF; THE SHADOW SIDE; TO TRANSCEND OLD DICHOTOMIES - but i did love hearing all the voices from past jedi. that’s some good ‘the ancestors are with you’ shit.

edit #4:

* i think the first thing we hear rey say is ‘be with me’? ngl i was like ‘pls be invoking the force bond’ X’D i am a clown. that was a beautiful shot though. and love that a version of the bond kicked in like two seconds after that. 

edit #5:

*there’s that bit where reylo are fighting on the death star ruins and he’s winning and rey kinda falls to her knees panting and lowkey defeated and, not to be a shallow bitch but..... it was Hot.

*also dark rey......... was HOT. SHE WAS SO KIRA, WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS, AND I WAS INTO IT LIKE HNGGGG

*obvs i wanted rey to be truly no one. but casting jodie comer as rey’s mum ? ????? urgh, pefection, i love it.

*palps was so random i stg..... his plan was.... convoluted to say the least. 

*also who was under all those hoods?

*the KOR just kinda... being around again was hilarious. no explaination required. the boys are back in town. ben facing them without a mask and essentially wearing his pjs? loved it. 

edit #6:

*seriously though ben’s redemption outfit.............. /heart eyes emoji into the sunset/.......... you can see his collar bone.............. /cares about the important things/.................

edit #7:

*one thing i loved about the reylo was how Space Wizards TM they both were in this movie. it so highlights their connection by making it clear that they are each other’s only peer. i thought it would be a thing of ‘why is the supreme leader constantly interacting with/going after this girl?’ but it’s not because it’s so clear that they are the only two people on each others’ level. no one would dare question the fact that they’re constantly circling each other in a lustful murderous rage.

[zalrb]

What, in your opinion, was the worst tvd season and why?

Season 8 because nothing made sense and it was BORING. From previous posts and highlights from all of my reviews of the eighth season: 

I would say that in the season finale a lot of things didn’t make sense. Why was Elena in a big white bed in the middle of the woods? Where is this place, why are they there? How did Enzo know to find Bonnie there and how did he bring her back to life? Is Enzo God? Stefan didn’t know Bonnie would be able to wake Elena up but he still gave Damon the cure in the off-chance that she would? Katherine pretended to be Elena, she wore Elena’s dress in the casket but had the time to dress Elena in her own clothes and put her in the school? And her hair was straight and suddenly it just became perfectly curly again? Stefan was shot and stabbed, he bled everywhere in those instances but he managed to not age rapidly but because he took a syringe of blood and gave it to Damon suddenly Damon has the cure and Stefan would start aging? Really? He could’ve called Caroline or saw Caroline, there is actually no reason why Stefan could see Elena, it’s not a logical part of the episode in terms of plot or lore, it doesn’t make sense, except that Elena had to be the last person he saw before he died. 

8x01

22. Writers, it’s too fucking late for the whole “surrounded by death, Stefan That’s what we’ve been for a hundred and some years.” nonono, you didn’t stick to that vampire lore throughout the seasons, it makes no sense to reinstate it now. In True Blood, from season 1 to season 7, it’s iterated and reiterated that vampires are death and whoever wants to sleep with them or be around them wants to die because they’re surrounding themselves with death. That isn’t a theme in TVD.

23. Nope, you can’t do hell all over again and try to back it up by going “not stone hell but real hell!” nah, y’all were lazy and just did the same shit again.

26. Stefan and Bonnie coming face to face with Damon and Enzo should’ve probably been more impactful? Like I don’t know, I don’t get the sense of complete and utter hopelessness. DO some fight club shit:

Make them gaunt and pale and red-eyed, like if they’re drones or slaves then make them as such. Because Damon is just acting like Damon, the only reason why we know he’s doing these things against his will is because of the over-exposition in the dialogue, there is actually nothing to indicate that Damon is doing this against his will other than the repetition in the words.

33. How hard are they going to hammer this shit in our heads? Damon doesn’t believe in redemption AGAIN, Damon thinks he and Elena are on different paths AGAIN only so SURPRISE he’ll be proved wrong by Elena near the end! Been there, done that.

8x03: 

6. I love how it’s become such a big deal that Sybil has mind control. “We’re dealing with something that has the power of mind control” SCARY MUSIC. Right because vampires compelling people was just ….

15. Damon describing Sybil’s hold over him is literally describing compulsion.

17. So Sybil is Rebekah and the Salvatore Mansion is the library and instead of Elena, Caroline and Stefan talking about SE and DE it’s Caroline and Bonnie talking about Damon and Enzo.

18. OK so Sybil is also Klaus who has to “Siren” obedience like how Klaus had to Sire hybrids.

19. OK so Sybil is Klaus again making Bonnie choose between Enzo and Damon like Klaus going, “So Elena, Jenna or Stefan?” Or she’s No Humanity Caroline who essentially did the same thing with Matt and Tyler. ‘Bout the most sadistic game imaginable, writers you’ve recycled this at least three times.

32. “Bonnie, I’m going to count down from 10 and then I’m going to let Damon finish what he started.” Like the clock Klaus put on Stefan biting Elena? LOL OK TVD. 

8x03:

28. So basically when Sybil got Damon’s full devotion is exactly like when Damon and Elena thought Stefan betrayed them for Klaus and the scene between Caroline and Stefan when Stefan is all “Damon is gone” “Don’t give up hope” is Stefan and Damon “Stefan is gone!” “Then we’ll let him go.” We’re redoing season 3 just terribly.

8x04

35. So a black man is the devil. EXCELLENT, TVD. JFC.

36. Also their version of the devil makes absolutely no sense. Why is Cade in hell in the first place when he literally did nothing wrong? Did he create hell for the souls that he keeps and why is he collecting souls in the first place? And they keep mentioning God, as in the Christian God, so how are you going to have a Christian God but not a Christian Hell? WHAT?

44. So Georgie goes to hell because she killed a girl in a car accident. OK so like I don’t get it does that mean Julian is in hell too? What about Mary-Louise and Nora? Are they in hell? WHO goes to this hell? Does just everyone who does a bad thing go to this hell?

8x05: 

9. You know why banging a tuning fork doesn’t come across as torture? Because it’s a weak fucking form of torture. At least have Sybil’s ears bleed, have her crying with pain, have her clutching her head, screaming STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT. Like OMG.

10. And of course Bonnie isn’t at Tyler’s funeral but so is no one else. It’s true that the Lockwoods are dead but they’re a founding family, you mean this town won’t mourn the loss of the last living member of such a family when the town is supposed to be big on tradition?

11. This episode is ridiculous. I won’t believe that Stefan wouldn’t be fast enough to stake Damon in the leg or to push him off Matt, Stefan vamp-sped and pushed Damon off Bonnie in season 1, he pushed Katherine off Jeremy in season 2. After being the only human in MF for how long, Matt should’ve picked up a few tricks on how to take down a vampire. Caroline is also a vampire with a history of beating the shit out of Damon, you mean two vampires can’t contain one? Whatever.

15. “It was awful, like Damon is desperate for us all to hate him.” But you just can’t right? For absolutely no fucking reason. I’m actually getting severely tired of Damon killing everyone, abusing everyone, making everyone’s lives worse and the show constantly protecting him with lines that distance him from taking any responsibility. It’s OK that Damon killed Tyler because he wants you all to hate him? Are you fucking serious?

20. REDEMPTIVE RIGHT NOW. Hammering it into our heads that he didn’t want to kill Tyler but he did it for Sybil, he doesn’t like that his friends hate him but he made them hate him anyway for Sybil (although legit no one looks like they hate him) and I’m fucking OVER it. Damon kills but his heart isn’t in it, so the fuck what, why the fuck do I care about that? Doesn’t MEAN anything.

21. Dude, I thought that Sybil inserted herself in Damon’s happy Elena place and then I thought she made Elena die so it was like Damon never met her. What was the point of Sybil inserting herself in Damon’s Elena Happy Place if he just does things to make her happy but doesn’t put his heart in it, he was doing that anyway before.

8x06

5. So we get to see mediocre SC sex in 8x01 but we don’t get to see mediocre BE sex in 8x06? Oh true. I see you, Julie and co.

9. WHO eats bacon that way? Seriously, who the fuck eats bacon that way? That’s not sexy, it’s weird.

13.  This writing is ridiculous. You and Sybil aren’t Cade’s missionaries, Seline, you aren’t converting people to your ways or “spreading the word”, you’re eating their flesh and giving the souls to Cade, you’re his butchers.

27. “Two of history’s most prolific killers.” LOL WHAT? People have committed GENOCIDES, TVD.

30. “I raised them” they’re THREE. And on the real, it didn’t look like or feel like you were dying when the twins were gone, Caroline.

33. “I gave Damon what he promised me an eternity of misery” HOW THO? Damon’s BEEN spending his immortal life killing people, like how is it any different that he and Stefan are doing it for a purpose now? Jfc. Also legit, guys, y’all are immortal, vampires, you’re never going to hell, the paranoia surrounding this place is ridiculous especially since they have both died as vampires and haven’t gone to Cade’s hell dimension each time.

35. Lmao why is this ending with Alaric killing Damon as if Damon is actually dead? We know he isn’t! Stefan just told us they’ll live forever serving Cade and we already know he and Sybil crash Steroline’s Christmas. LIKE? THIS ISN’T SHOCKING.

8x07:

13. “If Elena was here Damon wouldn’t be doing any of this?” Are we forgetting that he systematically killed Whitmores while they were together, that he kidnapped her brother and had Enzo suffocate him, that he killed Aaron … that a lot of the destruction Damon caused to the group was in Elena’s name? Damon didn’t change for Elena, I need the show to let that one GO.

15. There is weird tension between Caroline and Damon and it makes me uncomfortable.

18. “I know there is a future you that’s going to ask for my forgiveness one day” like when he asked for forgiveness for raping and physically and emotionally abusing you, Caroline? Oh right, that never happened.

23. Cade is basically Klaus trying to get Stefan go Dark Side. THIS IS THE EXACT CONVERSATION HE HAD WITH KLAUS.

8x08:

5. I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY NO ONE IS TRYING TO FIND LOOPHOLES AGAINST CADE. Caroline is just “cool, Stefan, go and be evil with the devil” WHAT?

15. It’s really annoying and in bad taste that the show is discussing how the Founding Families didn’t found Mystic Falls because other people were there first (witches) and we’re just ignoring the fact that there would’ve been Indigenous nations. I also like how we’re talking about history but we wouldn’t talk about enslavement even though MF is in fucking Virginia.

22. Are we really fucking doing this? Matt’s dad is angry at the Founding families because they were rich and ran the town while his family were skilled traders and looked down upon as such when Bonnie’s fucking ancestor was enslaved to Katherine??? WHEN THERE WERE ENSLAVED PEOPLES IN THIS TOWN? Matt’s dad gets a rant but we’re not talking about the racist history? Why am I even surprised by this?

8x09: 

17. Oh my GOD, we’re only 20 minutes in?

20. Why are we acting like Damon’s humanity will crush him? He was fine with killing Lexi, turning Vicki, killing Jeremy, killing Aaron, kidnapping Jeremy, trying to kill Caroline, raping and abusing Caroline, etc. Like why wouldn’t he be fine with this? Elena won’t care.

21. Why do they keep saying Matt is stupid? How is Alaric any smarter? A fucking siren was his nanny for months.

8x11:

1. So I don’t remember if this is from 8x09 or 8x10 when Sybil explains that opening the door from Cade’s world into this world will destroy everyone in this world but that is literally Buffy season 5.  Glory is a hell goddess who wants the key back into her dimension but if the key (who is Buffy’s sister) opens her world then the dimensions will bleed together and reality will cease to exist. LIKE??? Does Julie even know what an original thought is?

11. “Look at Damon, humanity on and he’s a new person!” HE IS EXACTLY THE SAME. DAMON ALWAYS REMAINS EXACTLY THE SAME. MAGNUM IS THE SAME LOOK AS BLUE STEEL. OH MY FUCKING GOD.

13. So Matt can say that it’s still Stefan who tried to get him to destroy the entire town but he can say that Damon turning and effectively killing Vicki is a long time ago, him murdering Tyler wasn’t him. OK true. Not transparent at all TVD.

18. Why is Damon giving him pancakes and not blood? Is Stefan not a vampire? Is he drying Stefan out? What’s the point of this?

21. Oh my God, I am literally only 10 minutes in.

38. 21 minutes and 41 seconds.

42. Talking talking talking talking

43. This is the final season though?

52. I don’t care for Bonenzo but seriously Julie taking away Bonnie’s happiness at every turn is a blatant hatred of her character, I don’t give a shit if she says she gets an unexpected happy ending, the unexpected happy ending will probably be her and Enzo reunited in death or something.

8x13:

1. Seriously, Cade seems like a really petty devil though. “Kill 100 people or your brother’s girl” like … why? Don’t you have some world domination plans going on or…? Like why the interest in Stefan and Damon, what about either of them are particularly special to the devil? It doesn’t make sense to me. At least with Supernatural, everything from season 1 was leading up to Dean and Sam being vessels for Michael and Lucifer, like every season, every plot point fed into that so it made sense, this is just fucking random.

2. I’m legit taking this opportunity to tell people to watch Goblin because it is so much more intriguing than whatever the hell TVD has become. You can watch it on: Drama Fever, Box Asian, Drama 4 U Viki, like so many sites, guys. I mean, I’m just saying, if you want a show that’ll make you cry and keep you in suspense and make you fall in love with characters then that’s it.

5. “Stefan, thank God” sound even less enthused, Caroline.

9. “I don’t think this is just colonial bling” did they seriously make Dorian say that? UGH. Also who says bling anymore? Are we in the early 00s?

11. Why is Damon acting like he didn’t kill Tyler? I find this actually unbelievably fascinating. He can stand there and lecture Caroline about how Bonnie wouldn’t answer her calls when he killed Tyler who was supposed to be Caroline’s first love and her childhood friend? LIKE THIS WRITING. 

12. I don’t understand this, Stefan is human so he can’t be immortal anymore and therefore is out of the contract so Cade will kill him? Can’t he just make Stefan an immortal human? Like why does he have to be a vampire? He can kill people without biting them, there’s always good old fashioned weaponry. Like what powers does Cade actually have?

20. Like there are no side effects to turning human? You’re just human and that’s it. You don’t feel slower, weaker, you can just operate normally?

25. Lol Caroline and Stefan are so bad at being together.

31. “Sirened to ring the bell” it’s just compulsion.

40. And seriously he’s not even going to STAY with her? The supposed love of her life died and no one is going to just BE with her? Remember when I said she would grieve alone?

8x14:

2. I think it’s funny that Cade is talking about how Damon is in limbo, “the space between spaces” because my guy, that is JUST the Other Side.

3. No, see, the entire plot line with Cade and the Salvatores irritates me because it’s so conveniently linked to Damon and Stefan. He is the devil or the devil’s right hand man (since Katherine is the Queen of Hell for some reason, right?) I don’t understand why he can’t just find the weapon himself or get someone else to do it for him, there’s no reason that it has to be Damon and it’s the problem when a villain keeps making threats “Or I’ll drag you back to hell”, so then do it. At least with Supernatural when Zachariah wanted Dean to do something and Dean was like nah, Zachariah was like OK so what if I give Sam stage 4 stomach cancer? Or hey, how about if I take away his lungs? And we see him inflict these tortures on Sam while Dean watches. Or Dean starts off the season coming out of hell and we get flashbacks to what hell was like for him and we find out how much it fucked him up so when Uriel and Castiel threaten to throw him back into hell, it’s an actual real threat because we’ve seen the effects and why he would be scared. This whole thing with Damon is like … every time Cade says he’ll send Damon to hell I’m like motherfucker, no you’re not or you would’ve DONE did it by now, stop.

5. Bonnie being able to see Enzo is like Jeremy being able to see Bonnie and Elena hallucinating Damon. I’m bored.

14. Also where are the twins if neither she nor Alaric are watching them in this scene? Like if they’re setting shit on fire because of temper tantrums and are literally prone to blowing each other up now, I would be around them all the time.

17. I like how Stefan has, like, an actual plan to kill Cade but if you’re going to kill him, will you not slash his arm and punch him and make witty remarks, can you just stab him?

18. Because you see what happens, Alaric’s cell phone rings and he stops ringing the all important bell.

24. *SPOILERS FOR OUTLANDER* So there’s this show/book called Outlander about many things but at the centre of it, there’s a love story between Jamie and Claire and throughout the series, Jamie makes these declarations of love to Claire and says he’ll do anything for her, that he’ll be her shield, he’ll die for her etc. and there’s this villain called Jack Randall who is a sexual sadist and he has a particular interest in Jamie who he nearly flogged to death years earlier, basically Randall gets a hold of Claire and is going to kill her in front of Jamie so Jamie offers up his body to Randall in exchange for Claire’s safety and in that scene Randall nails Jamie’s hand to a table and kisses him while Claire has to watch and then Claire is forced to leave Randall and Jamie alone and in the next part we basically see the rape and torture that Randall inflicts on Jamie over and over. A lot of people had issues with that and asked the author why she felt the need to show the brutal rape of Jamie and her response was this:

“So, OK.  Throughout the book, we’ve seen that love has a real cost.  Jamie and Claire have built a relationship through honest struggle, a relationship that’s _worth_ what it’s cost them.  This is the final challenge, and Jamie’s willing to pay what will apparently be the ultimate cost.

  Why would I throw that away?  To have him escape rape and torture (he–and we–_know_ what’s coming) by the skin of his teeth would be to undercut his sacrifice, to make it of little moment.  (It would be like someone turning up in Gethsemane and telling Christ, “Hey, buddy, you don’t _really_ have to do this.  Come with me, I got a secret way outta here…”)”

And this is what TVD fails to do with DE. It’s one thing for Damon to be willing to go to hell for both Stefan and Elena but Bonnie shows up and actually saves him from having to undergo that threat and it undercuts his sacrifice because he didn’t actually have to sacrifice anything, he just had to be willing and it’s not impactful. So I’m not even a little moved by what Damon did because he didn’t do anything first of all, second of all after everything he’s done throughout 8 seasons why wouldn’t he choose himself, I mean, it’s the least he can do.

25. “Bonnie, wake up”, Stefan can you check her pulse?

26. “That little psychic blast must’ve blew me into my body” that literally makes no sense.

27. Damon and Stefan sitting on Damon’s car, drinking is basically just Sam and Dean. Stop it.

29. “Someone who can create a safe, supportive and loving space for kids … someone like you” is that Caroline, though? I’m sorry but she doesn’t seem like any of those  things to Josie and Lizzie, she’s shrill and just tells them to stop doing things, like I don’t know why she didn’t actually ask Josie and Lizzie how they felt when their magic was going haywire, like we don’t actually see her BE with them, she just scolds.

33. Finally, what anons kept asking me about, Katherine Pierce being the Queen of hell. I am going to admit something, I think the show and the characters gas Katherine way too much, she isn’t the baddest bitch of all, I don’t think the characters are toast because she’s running hell, I don’t even think she deserves to run Hell, she’s petty, it’s not like she has master plans that completely destroy lives, she just makes things inconvenient for the core group like *ugh* I mean I guess I gotta go fix Elena because she has venom in her system, like what were the major consequences of what she did in 5x15 to Elena? Elena didn’t see Damon for an entire episode and couldn’t sleep with him immediately. Getting Jenna to stab herself was rude but the major consequence of that is Stefan and Elena breaking up. She outted the Klaroline sex and it just fractured an already fractured relationship with Tyler. The worst thing she did was cause Jeremy’s death and that wasn’t even intentional, it was just like oh well … yeah, my bad, bye. Like she’s a mean girl on steroids, that’s kind of it, she isn’t like this Badass Villain that no one can top and OMG SHE RUNS HELL. I mean Rebekah caused just as much damage as Katherine did because they’re both petty.

8x15:

2. I like how opening the door to Cade’s world will only destroy everything for “miles”, like that’s such a small scale, shouldn’t it be the end of the world if the devil is walking among us? Or is he not the devil, is Katherine the devil? I’m confused about the Hell hierarchy, you see.

5. Sorry, pausing because my cat is being extremely affectionate and I would rather play with her for a little than watch what trash this episode is going to be.

6. But now she’s on my keyboard. It’s like she’s trying to spare me.

14. “That was a lifetime ago, things have changed since then” that should just replace the title of TVD. “Didn’t Damon kill your sister?” “That was a long time ago.” “Didn’t Damon kill your brother” “That was a long time ago.” And now apparently abandoning your family because of man pain and cowardice and immaturity is “a lifetime ago” too but oh no, Stefan was a ripper a literal century ago and we need to harp on it forever.

16. Why would Dorian agreeing to help them on how to get rid of the “Queen of Hell” be misconstrued as him being “cool” with Stefan though? Isn’t getting rid of someone who is supposed to be the devil Plus be in everyone’s best interest? Like whatever, it was just another chance to take a shot at Stefan. Transparent as fuck.

21. I mean, I don’t blame Bonnie for hating Stefan but Damon was responsible for killing Jeremy and kidnapping Jeremy, Enzo was responsible for suffocating Jeremy and she’s cool with both of them, hell she fell in love with one of them so I’m just like girl, I guess. The writers are ridiculous because it just feels like they don’t know the web they’ve created with these characters and understand that they’ve turned pretty much everyone into a hyprocrite. 

24. I don’t even know why Damon needs to tell Stefan that what happened to Enzo will haunt him like Stefan isn’t new to guilt. Why are they making it seem like this is Stefan’s first rodeo?

37. “I hope I get to see this one day with you and Elena” lol the FLATTEST delivery ever. Like do you even mean it? Do you REALLY? Think hard, Stefan.

54. LMFAO SO WHO ISN’T IN HELL? Vicki was in hell, Kelly was in hell, so like ERRBODY GOES TO HELL THEN? WHAT CRITERIA IS THERE? Like if I run a stop light do I go to hell because it’s against the law? What if I jaywalk or accidentally step on an ant or something? BECAUSE SERIOUSLY.

55. STEFAN WHY DON’T YOU EVER CHECK ANYONE’S PULSE?

and you already saw my thoughts on 8x16

[mnovenia]

3 MORE MONTHS to 2023

From my human eyes, jujur takut banget nulis ini.. but it's said feed your mind with faith.

That picture is what I've been having in head for few years. It's my ideal place to have a date, romantically chilling while in the autumn/cold, and even my pre-wedding photo theme. I think I had this picture since in NL, and with that Koko, Oppa or whoever oriental guy I had in mind.

But nope, no guy come to that yet HAHAHA, kapan ya gw nulis di tumblr kalo that one guy has finally come :''' God knows (merinding sendiri nulisnya).

Ok let's flash back. So the last update about the singaporean guy is called TWY (chinese name GUYS). At first, I thought he was alright, similar passion, way of thinking, live in Bali, but on our 2nd date (meeting), I found out that he is a Buddhist, with Kwan Im shrines in his villa. Well, well, well I was so disappointed, I asked God why, I got myself out of him, knowing that God is either giving me mission to help him see the light or tempting me HAHAHAH. Anyway I withdrew from him, went to Jakarta, Bandung and had a pleasant trip. I was shown that there are plenty of guy out there better than forcing myself to end up with TWY. Also during the service at HMCC, God showed me that I should move on and not playing with fire.

May's highlight: I went to Singapore, also a hightlight cos I download Coffee meet bagels, and found many single christian guys, its just none of them like me or has a future with me in Bali. HAHAHA. Experiencing other country for the 1st time since pandemic is a blessing. I love my freedom, chinese culture, foods, good public transport, but oh my the kiasuness n expensive life made me so grateful when I returned to Bali

I close 6 deals in the kavling PD, also another 4 in Apple. Thank God thank God I cannot be more blessed and surprised, it's all Him. Thank you Mba Gathi, Ochi dkk, Nic, Ivan & Pak David.

July, I went crazy with house sale in Bandung, but also so relieved that I no longer have that burden back home. I also managed to buy a land, OMG my 1st property in Bali, thank you God for replacing what I left, sold, sacrificed in the past. You made it so easy just to do things according to your will.

Me n TWY remains friends as we got close a bit during my HMCC friends came, also Pak David n Ivan. However it made me realize we better just keep remaining be friends. He gave me idea to build a villa for rent with the money from Bandung. So I had a deal with the Architect, Pak Hendra, he's the best. I'm still hesitate to choose a contractor and also to decide how much should I put in money to this investment.

with all those things I'm grateful for, I also have many days when I struggle, trying to motivate myself to stay alive for another day, some days are depressing cause I lose hope, I don't find life exciting anymore, etc.

However, God also answer my prayer regarding church in Bali. Maybe beginning of June, HMCC Jkt decided to only hold onsite congregration so I was kind of forced to resign from membership. I was confused, trying online Grace Church sgp, GKY, etc until Bella shared that she will open a new service at her parents' house. Idk if it's not an answer to prayer.

And afterwards, her Dad got so sick n I was the only person available to accompany, take care, etc. And God was just so gracious, that it happened when I had so much savings from commisions and house selling. I borrowed her fam money and did everything I possibly could, while staying in Marlene's jie house while she & the fam back in NZ. Phewww..

Since then, I commit to Yewon church Bali, being in touch with Bella's fam, and even her Korean guests, etc. In my heart, idk what else is God trying to work in me. Also I got cheap ticket to Seoul on July, then decided to go for Yewon's church conference and a bit of trip with Nongky n her bro sis. HAHAHA, seems like my KDrama life will come true. I'm still praying for my visa though, been struggling these past 2 weeks, however God's will be done, I'm applying for multiple entry visa.

With all these, I just have to remind myself, to pray like Elijah:

Know and acknowledge who He is (God of Abraham)

Know who I am (servant)

Answer my prayer Lord (boldly)

Bring the people back to You (His Kingdom first above all else)

"Answer me Lord, answer me, so these people will know that you Lord are God and that you are turning their hearts back again" - 1 Kings 18:37

Oh ya, I'm leading BSF now, also still teach Norman, thinking of joining Ministry at church, and still approaching new clients (PRAY PRAY PRAY so I have more confidence to build the Villa for God's glory with humble heart) and Visa Korea, and View-ture husband HAHAHA. Alright goodnight kind Lord, Love You, saranghaeyo.

[jobethdalloway]

CLEXACON RECAP omfg

bc this needs to go somewhere & @mnhooch was kind enough to ask. tried to bold some highlights bc this is basically a long-ass diary entry ramble haha

-the first thing I went to was a panel called “Gaysian: Queer Asian Representation in the Media” with 4 incredibly rad/funny/super smart folks. Really enlightening convo on finding bits and pieces of characters who don’t look like/sound like you to relate to. A highlight: the first question was asking them if there are any queer Asian characters in the media they related to growing up and the last one said “Well, of course, Mulan” and there was like this loud “MMMMMM yeahhhh” that like rippled through the audience. Pressed to clarify which Mulan: “THE CARTOON one, come on”

-the moderator for the LGBTQ Actress panel was hilarious and the women on it were all wonderful so it was great to get to hear from them/learn about them but for me it was ALL ABOUT STEPHANIE BEATRIZ OMMMMMMGGG. Seeing how bubbly she is irl is a good reminder of how solid her performance is as Rosa like dang. Highlight: Stephanie tearing up talking about how much it meant to her to read the dialogue “I’m bisexual,” laid clearly and deliberately, in the script where Rosa come out 

-SO MANY STUNNING BUTCHES EVERYWHERE??? omg. also it was just really cool to be in a space with so many women and nb folks. Pretty much every other gay-anything I’ve tried to go to has been 98% cis gay guys so this was like huge in a way I wasn’t anticipating

-OLDER WOMEN WHO’VE BEEN WAITING DECADES FOR GOOD REPRESENTATION, and they were there, and they love the shows we love and it warmed my heart. Also people came from around the globe for this and that was so cool

-AMAZING COSPLAYERS!!! Faves: 2 people dressed as Valkyries, Xena & Gabrielle, and too many gorgeous Alex Danvers(...es) to count

-saw a group of short documentaries, some of which were like ok but there were 2 great ones - butch coyolxauhqui (x) (about a butch learning to love her body with the help of her mother & an Aztec goddess) and a place in the middle (x) (about a Hawaiian child reclaiming traditional notions about gender from an awesome teacher)

-an awesome panel on butch representation in the media! Wish more people could’ve made it to that one. Such an important reminder that there is soooo far to go. Good introspection about internalized lesbophobia (”cured” tomboys in kid movies; butches being the lesbian equivalent of effeminate men where the stereotype is what our internalized phobia wants to get away from instead of embracing as we should)/the fact that it’s a stereotype but still like never seen?? and if it is seen, is usually negative. sigh.

-a panel on sapphic fanfic! Which was actually really inspiring and makes me want to get back into writing. Because I love it. I love writing, you guys.

DAY 2? ALREADY OMG

-started off the day in the way, way back of the auditorium for the Wayhaught panel which was so much fun! Kat & Dom are too adorable for words. Highlight: Kat’s response when asked about her thoughts on things like fanart/fanfic. idk, it was really heartwearming/inspiring. Something along the lines of, “this character may look like me but it’s the spirit of Nicole that matters, and the spirit belongs to all of us, not just me” ergo she sees fanart and sees Nicole, not herself. No single person/entity owns the character. idk that was just a really awesome thing to hear an actor say 

-short comedies!! Sadly I had to duck out of this one early, but I loved 2 of the ones I saw here - a USC thesis (trailer) and a hilarious/touching one by a Philippine filmmaker called “salamagan” that unfortunately I can’t find online anywhere

-CHYLER LEIGH. CHYLER LEIGH, HOLY SHIT. This was like. The most moving Q&A I think I’ve ever been able to experience. As I was sitting there, it really registered with me how shitty it felt to have to put up with actresses (not just a certain 2) for years who were ashamed - vocally and specifically - of fans like us. Not for being over-zealous, but being queer and having queer feelings and seeking validation. How shitty it felt to have those actresses make fun of us on talk shows; make us feel gross/stupid/deluded/embarrassing for feeling the way we did & thus perpetuating internalized fears and shame in abundance. I know there are plenty of actresses who are truly great allies and who care about their LGBTQ fans, but Chyler like ... is so engaged?? She was so emotional and you can see that she gets it, she does not take her responsibility lightly and she is wonderful. I was also reminded of the distinction between seeing ourselves/hearing ourselves in media. bc i’m white, I do get to see queer characters who look like me more and more on TV/the movies (certainly more than I was a kid), but Alex is the first(/only?) one who I’ve really heard myself in and that feels significant Highlight: I got to ask her a question! And I was the last one they had time for so phew. Here’s a link to the whole panel, set to start at my question *^^ (but I definitely recommend watching the whole thing the next time you have an hour to spare) (I MADE HER LAUGH. Kinda hard to make out what I said at the beginning, which is, “oh wow, lesbians are short” bc I’m almost 6′ tall and the mic stand was very very low) (I WAS TREMBLING THE WHOLE TIME Y’ALL) 

-highlight: a DELIGHTFUL/wonderful feature called “Signature Move” (trailer). You want a good lesbian movie? HERE’S A GOOD LESBIAN MOVIE!!! Nobody dies, no lesbians have to date men, one of the leads is a butch Pakistani-American and the other is Mexican-American and we see their complicated/beautiful relationships with their mothers and it’s FUNNY AS HELL and the leads are HANDSOME AND BEAUTIFUL AS HELL and it needs all the viewers

-highlight: I got to meet @thefootlightclub and @missmaclay after years of being tumblr buddies!! They are both delightful/amazing people and it was so fun to like, fangirl irl with people. And since I went to this con alone, it was really cool to get to talk to other people about it, haha. They introduced me to some awesome peeps including the lovely @amyroot! Thanks y’all for being so friendly and welcoming me in. Also @thefootlightclub and I talked about how June Allyson should totally have a massive lesbian following bc Jo March and that voice, amirite #imright

DAY 3 OH NO THE WEEKEND IS ENDING

-really sad short films today!! Most of them not great, but there was one that wove in Mrs Dalloway and that was pretty cool/I was stunned to see that the cinematographer was a childhood friend of mine! Who is Mormon! And apparently worked on a film about lesbians! He’s a cool guy and that was a fun surprise. One of the films was pretty powerful and gave me AYLT feels (if my epilogue had been depressing AF) (trailer)

-there was a panel called “empowerment through fandom,” which was nice but pretty much wound up being for Earpers. Validating to know one of the panelists was a reporter and it’s like aha okay this stuff is for people in all walks of life/professions/ages. Validating all around. 

-I wandered around the vendor booths and picked up a couple of pins/postcards. So many talented people! Probably just as well that I didn’t look too hard at this stuff until the last day bc stuff was sold out and I probably would’ve spent $$ I didn’t have on some of these rad shirts/posters haha

-went to a panel on Queer Films, which I kind of thought would be more of like a presentation/discussion on the history of films but it was more about how to get them made/how hard it is to do that. The panelists and moderator were great, though, and had some great insights. Specifically, the producer of “Elena Undone” (which I admit I could not finish but deeply wanted to like) talked about how you have to do the best with what you have bc sometimes you just can’t raise the money you want/need to get the film you’d really like bc people don’t like to finance lesbian films and that was kind of humbling to keep in mind

-rounded it all out by watching DEBS, obviously one of the greatest films of all time. Highlight: there were a lot of older women at the con, which was really wonderful to see, and 2 of them were sitting behind me. One said to the other, “I wasn’t sure I was going to come to this but these kids downstairs said ‘oh you totally have to go.’ Well, one said, ‘you “totes” have to,’ which I took to mean ‘totally.’” It was great to hear them laughing behind me the whole time! WHAT AN ICONIC MOVIE. 

-I got to eat at Cafe Rio which is always ALWAYS A PLUS

Anyway, wow, what a fantastic weekend. I feel so, so lucky that I was able to go and meet so many amazing people and hear so many amazing people and be surrounded by the love. I never ever thought I’d go to a con - not for any condescending reason, just bc I never thought there was enough I’d ever be interested in to make it worth attending. But this? Wow. Tailor-made for me - for so many of us. If I had a wish then it would be that we could all go to Clexacon next year!

/is it next year yet 

[snkpolls]

SnK Chapter 97 Poll Results

The chapter 97 poll closed with 1,235 responses. Thank you to everyone for participating.

  RATE THE CHAPTER (1,157 RESPONSES)

This is the highest rated chapter since we started asking this question 6 months ago. Many were delighted to see Eren again and felt that the plot was moving forward.

This is the chapter I've been waiting months for. Flashbacks with meaning. Plot progression. New revelations. Great chapter.

Best Marley chapter yet.

This chapter was honestly amazing, easily one of my favorite chapters. Not only do we get to see my boy Kenny again, Annie is there kicking his ass. We got Bertholdt's fortune telling sleeping positions(bless him). We got Reiner who is so fucking gone, I lost my shit for a second when I thought it was all gonna be over for him. Then we finally hear from the Tybur's and learn that Amputee-kun was Eren(no surprise with that one). Honestly just a beautiful chapter!

Made me more happy than getting a buy one get one coupon for Chick Fil A

Honestly I was expecting this chapter to be another flashback and generally boring instead I was pleasurably surprised by seeing my boi eren and Kenny ~wipes tear~ I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS CHAPTER O

This is the chapter we all needed. Finally, the plot's moving forward, and it's doing so really quickly! Hyped!

We went from "another useless flashback chapter" to "omg Isayama let us catch our breath" and this is hilarious. Not that I disliked flashback chapters, they were great...but THIS was THE chapter.

It's about time we had a chapter that pushed the plot forward and gave us some juicy reveals. The curtain has been down for far too long and it's now time for some conflict. Gimme grim reminder in the next chapter as well as more Pieck and Porky.

This chapter is just amazing. We got Eren as Amputee-kun, Willy Tybur, and a hint of Zekerets. Plus, there's also Eren's letter to look forward to. I feel like we'll be seeing the Paradis crew towards the end of Chapter 98. It serves as a great way to end the volume.

I was so happy to see the plot finally starting to move forwards again. I've loved getting the Marley perspective, but as I've said before, the pacing of these chapters has been abysmal. The plot's been largely stalled for nearly a year at this point, and I'm very excited to see it finally seeming to pick up direction again. 

  WHAT WAS THE BEST PART OF THE CHAPTER? (1,169 RESPONSES)

Things Involving Eren made up more than 55% of the vote. Anny vs Kenny pulled in 16.8% coming in third. And yes, I screwed up. I should’ve made Reiner’s suicide attempt a “best part” but I got caught up in the semantics of it all. I couldn’t see it as anything but a tragedy.

FINALLY!!! WE GOT TO SEE EVEN THE TINIEST GLIMPSE OF EREN.

Reiner's attempted suicide was one of the best moments of the chapter but you only made it an option under "worst"

Voted for nothing in the first two sections as the suicide attempt my favorite  part of the chapter in terms of emotion and character development.

Annie "badass" Leonhardt was definitely a highlight of this chapter, though Eren's conversation just edged out ahead

Eren's character development and understanding Falco's situation

Loved the insight into Reiner's frame of mind on paradis. It seems like he was just as much in denial while being a warrior as he was as a soldier. Neither seem to be his genuine self. Poor kid!

MY SON IS BACK, MY SON IS BACK!!! Also I will eat my left shoe if the whole survey corps isnt nearby. This plan just seems like it has Armin written all over it.

It's so exciting to finally have the plot picking up again after an entire year of mostly exposition and development. Shit is definitely going down at that Tyber festival. Also lets just call Billy Thor because I can't deal with the idea that that is his name

  WORST PART OF THE CHAPTER (1,080 RESPONSES)

What’s more tragic, the unfortunate name of the 9th titan shifter or Reiner’s desperate situation? Rather than include Reiner’s suicide in either of these questions, I probably should’ve just asked “How much do you want to hug Reiner?” because so many people do.

Lack of best girl Pieke

Can someone like... hug reiner?  

Fucking WILLY is his name?!?!?

We thought Reiner's life couldn't get worse. Isayama works his magic yet again.

Willy is a term for dick so in actuality his name is Dick Tybur, the Wardick titan shifter

Blessed Reigner need not turn to suicide, fulfillment is in the self

Willy the Warhammer is even worse than Billy.

Reiner's  suicide attempt was WICKED.

i wanna die almost as bad as reiner

  WHAT WAS THE BEST REVEAL? (1,173 RESPONSES)

The Best Reveal is that we were all correct about Eren being Amuptee-kun. In a series this unpredictable, we take our victories where we can.

Since we're right about Eren being Amputee-kun, we might (should) as well be right with Annie x Father Leonhardt siding with Paradis! (please)

That justice boner being exactly right about Eren being the bum.

Annie and crazy uncle Kenny did meet and were on screen together. That makes me happy. I'm trying to understand Kenny's appearance lol. Did Isayama miss him or what ?

    WE ASKED THIS LAST MONTH, BUT SINCE BERTOLT BROUGHT IT UP IT, LET’S DO IT AGAIN. DO YOU THINK ANNIE AND REINER ACTED ALONE AND KILLED THE MAN FOUND HANGING IN THE TREE? (1,087 RESPONSES)

When we first asked this question last month only 22% thought RBA might be involved in killing the man in order to create a bullet-proof hometown alibi.  With the inclusion of Bert’s nightmares and Reiner’s shady expression, it looks like more people are coming around to the idea.

Why the hell people still think RBA or RA killed that man? It makes absolutely no sense and has no basis in the story.They kept saying it last chapter and it was proven wrong, and now they say Bert just didn't know about it? Really? Why wouldn't they tell him? They always discuss everything together, why not this? That look Reiner gave Bert was just him worried about his friend having nightmares or, if he's in his warrior mindset, worried that it might affect his performance.

I think Reiner was clearly involved in the hanged man's death, but there's little to zero evidence Annie was involved. I think this chapter also emphasized, despite his affection for Bert, how unreliable Reiner considered Bert to be.

'the man who hung himself' srsly the answers right there are u retarded?

I actually think Reiner killed the old man solo and didn't tell Bertholdt and Annie, though I'm not quite sure why he would do that.

  CHAPTER 97'S "HOT OR NOT"

Annie got the most positive responses but it seems everyone is this chapter is hot except poor Magath. (That’s ok, Theo. I will continue to love you!)

Kenny is hot, Eren will be hot when he takes a shower, Reigner is hot too but is also broken beyond repair. This chapter fucked me up, everyone needs a rest.

You much awesomeness in this chapter! Willy is hot af!

I want Kenny to be my sugar daddy

My beautiful best girl Annie is back, and is cuter than ever. I love her. I want her to come back

my son looks like a hobo and I don't know how to cope with this

eren should fucking shave

Magath is making me wet with his humanity once more.

Annie is bae

  WHO WORE IT BETTER?

  LONG HAIR (1,172 RESPONSES)

For the "who wore it better" for long hair I didn't choose because both Willy and Eren look fab

Eren always looked a lot like his mother, but now he started looking like grisha too

The old Eren can't come to the phone rn. Why? Cause he's DEAD

eren became daddy

Eren looks like a pedo-hobo hybrid just so everyone knows.

How dare you not like Eren's hair mom

 👀

  PIGTAILS (1,126 Responses)

Poor Mina. Less than 30% felt like the original was better.

HAT (1,170 Responses)

Thank you fandom! My faith is restored.

THE " OH CRAP I'M USELESS" EXPRESSION (1,180 Responses)

Eren wins for now but hopefully Falco  has a few more years to work on mastering the expression.

  IN THIS PANEL, WILLY TYBUR IS: (1,090 Responses)

I think if I’d included a “both” option it would’ve been a landslide. Next chapter I hope we see Willy’s “I 💖 Helos” tattoo.

  WHERE DO YOU THINK WILLY TYBUR IS GOING TO LAND ON THE MORALITY SCALE (1,120 Responses)

The range was from “Cinnamon Roll (1)” to “Final Boss (5)”. Most people seem to think Willy will end up the series being mostly bad news.

I almost wonder if Billy is a red flag and is going to end up dead or eaten instead of serving as a "final boss"

Billy Tybur is totes gonna be morally ambiguous , like every other villain.

DO YOU THINK THE ORIGINAL HELOS WAS AN ACKERMAN? (1,122 Responses)

  WILLY SAID “MARLEY NEEDS HELOS ONCE MORE.” WHO DO YOU THINK THAT NEW HERO WILL BE? (1,054 Responses)

We are crazy divided on this question. While most seem confident the original Helos was an Ackerman, we have no idea who the new one will be.  Eren is narrowly ahead of Levi. Mikasa and Zeke are battling it out for third. And even Magath pulled in a  chunk of the vote with almost 7%. Gabi and Falco were popular choices. And Jean, Connie, Flocke, Sasha and Hange all got included as well.

Bertholdt rises from the dead and becomes the hero.

Obviously Mads I mean...duh

Pieck (As expected)

Falco will save marley with his cuteness

I really hope Mikasa, so she can be more relevant again.

I think Tybur referred to himself.

It's going to be Magath, but he will be used as a scapegoat; i don't see willy really trying to change the status quo.

There won't be a new Helos.  The idea of becoming Helos is the apple that Willy is using to tempt Magath into doing something horribly stupid that is probably going to get him killed and fuck up the lives of all of his Titan Children even more.  If that's even possible.

Udon, the reincarnation of Borutoruto, the God of Destruction and the right hand of Our Lord and Savior Reigner Braun.

Zofia, the true key character of this story, Helos reincarnated, Bringer of Doom and Savior of the Weak.

WHAT’S THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE PANEL OF ZEKE ON THE PHONE: (1,100 Responses)

Slightly more than half the fandom believe the single panel of Zeke was included because he’s on the receiving end of Eren’s letter.

zeke looked like a fucking 70s teenage girl talking to her crush on the phone in that panel and that is the best part of the chapter to me

Zeke might be listening to the Willy/Magath coversation via a bug, or Magath wearing a wire. A Zeke/Magath plot is possible.

Significance of Zeke's panel is Zekerets

zeke's totally plotting something- don't know what but there's no way he's not. oh and eren pls. the mop needs to go.

I think Zeke was plotting with Magath, not the Tybur

I feel like Zeke being on the phone IS significant but not for any of the answers listed so I just had to say none.

what if Zeke was talking to one of the SC members & said something along the lines of ""He's here"" or something like that? Just thought that would kinda be badass.

  IS EREN IN MARLEY ON A PERSONAL MISSION OR A SURVEY CORPS ONE? (1,108 Responses)

I was a bit surprised that this chart was so lopsided. I think a strong case could be made either way as to whether or not Eren is operating alone.

The "It's hard for me to show my face to my family now" line honestly has me worried.  If the story takes it down this path as opposed to what we expect, then something ground-breaking must have happened during the time-skip.  Eren, Mikasa, and Armin have been through everything together.  If that was somehow torn apart, then so will my heart.

I wonder if Eren saying that he "can't go back" is a reference to Paradis (and he's acting on his own) or a reference to a more innocent past, where they knew nothing of the world and he didn't have all these memories inside him

I'm surprised there wasn't a question about whether or not Eren being there meant EMA separation, but I guess that'll be speculated until we get info one way or the other.

WHO IS EREN’S LETTER ADDRESSED TO (1,105 Responses)

The majority say the letter is for Zeke, but some write-ins include Pieck, Marcel and the Restorationists. Annie’s father showed up several times as well.

This question is Annie's father who happens to be harboring the Survey Corps

Armin and Mikasa explaining why he left alone without warning them

Eldian doctor that work with the owl

I think all these options are possible but I hope it's for Reiner.

I'm still debating on who it is but it's either Zeke or the SC

It could be either one of the survey corps or annie's father. I don't know, let's see in the future chapters ^^

It's not addressed to anyone, but delivering it is a signal to the others "Begin Operation Grim Reminder 2.0"

it's probably Zeke but I hope he contacts Reigner at some point

WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO SEE IN CHAPTER 98? (CHOOSE 3) (1,190 Responses)

The recipient of the letter was top pick with 54% followed by the Tybur Family Festival with 44%. “The Survey Corp” and “Reiner and Eren Reunion” tied for third with 40.4%.

I really hope we don't have to wait too long to learn more about Eren's letter like we did with Ymir. Nonetheless I'm looking forward to future chapters!

I really need to see the Warhammer Titan in action

Can Reiner just be happy for once. Like please

This is it. Next chapter we'll get to see everyone else from paradis whether they're in Marley or not. It's the end of the volume! AAAH!

Damn excited for that festival!!!

Marley final arc is clearly a go now. Eren's in place, I suspect the Survey Corps are in place, reintroductions will happen soon and then everything will get moving. I still stand that 96 felt like stalling, but I totally get it, Isayama wants a big ch. 98 moment and we're getting it.

I really want to see more of Pieck and Porco. PLUS I want to see Porco meet Historia because that'd be an interesting conversation/fight!

I want to see adult Annie and Mikasa, and also Historia

My heart is beating whenever I think about chapter 98.

I'm really looking forward to knowing what the end-game is, and what plans the Teibers and Zeke have. Also, I'm really looking forward to what Eren is up to. I think next chapter is going to be a doozy and I can't wait!

  HOW BADLY DO YOU WANT TO RETURN TO THE ORIGINAL CAST ON PARADIS? (1,189 Responses)

Last month 58% would sell theirs souls to see the original cast. That was down very slightly this month to 54%. Despite Eren being included in this chapter most are still anxious for news about the rest of the Survey Corps.

With Amputee-kun being Eren, there is no reason to want to return to Paradis. The important stuff is happening in Liberio, Paradis has nothing new.

Now that eren is back i think that the story will stay in Marley till the end, barring the occasional flashback

Would like to see how the original cast looks now.

I miss Levi and it's been so long since we've seen any of the main cast.  It's nice to see the effects of the last four years on Reiner, but I'm very curious to see how Levi and the rest of the SC are dealing with their new knowledge, the loss of Erwin, their island without titans.  Please, please get back to the main cast. 

I wonder what is Mikasa's and the others' view on Eren's doings (yeah i understand that Marley is important but gimme Paradis already... please?

  WHICH CHARACTERS DO YOU GENERALLY ENJOY THE MOST (1,195 Responses)

Very little changed from last month. I suspect it will remain consistent from here on out.

I love the 104th with all my heart!! But they can only truly qualify as my favourite group if RBA are included...

  WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES (1,103 Responses)

 We took away the “other” option on this question to simplify the results and  allowed people to check more than one. Hopefully this makes a better reflection of how we are discussing the series.

Thoughts about Reiner

Since I screwed Reiner over in the best/worst question, here’s a whole section of love for him

GIVE. REINER. HAPPINESS. NOW!!!

Plot armoured Titan strikes the feels.

#save reiner braun

Give Reiner some hapiness Isayama :(

That sequence of flashbacks interwoven with Reiner's suicide attempt are some of the strongest pages of this goddamn manga. I was so shook by it when I first saw it that I was left in a morbidly awed silence at how powerful the delivery was. I actually couldn't speak, so bravo isayama.

Reiner deserves all happines in this world

Reiner's suicide attempt made me cry and I've never been any more sad reading the manga..... Suicide is just such a realistic issue in reality that seeing it snk has affected me more than giant man-eating titans ever will

will reigner ever find happiness :(

Man I just really want Reiner to be happy :,((((

Give Reiner some happiness in his life, please ;_;

I hope ReinerxHappiness becomes canon someday.

I feel as if I lose 10 years of my life every time I see Reiner's suicide attempt.

Reiner's suicide attempt messed me up emotionally

Reiner's suicide attempt was the BEST part of the chapter

Reiner's thoughts  about  the  past  and  the  following suicide  attempt  will  fuck  me  up  for  a  whole  month. Please  help  him.  

Reiner was so heartbreaking. But so was eren GAH IT WAS SUCH A BITTERSWEET CHAPTER

Other Comments

I can’t list everything, but I read each comment and thank you for sharing your ideas. Some of the longer comments were theories that I enjoyed but don’t think belonged in the poll results. With some longer comments I extracted a few sentences rather than publish the whole thing.

Willy looks kind of handsome and Falco should stop being a warrior and become a mailman.

More Marley please, more revelations, MORE PAIN.

WhaT iS It ERen?

Apparently, in the japanese version, the warhammers identity was more ambiguous and could be anyone my bet would be the tall guard inside the room. Reiners suicide attempt was depressing, especially if you consider that he was feeling guilty for helping eren improve so much which got Bertholdt killed. Hyped to see what Zeke is up to, he may be plotting with Pieck or something against the Tybur idk.

Eren vs Armin for the final arc - you heard it here first

Everytime I see my top 3 characters (Kenny, Jean, Reiner) they are either suffering or in danger, and the fandom is more focused in others like Annie, Eren or Gabi. Then there will be Zeke with a suicidal, Erwin-like attitude. I always thought that Eren was going to meet his grandparents, but I have no clue of what will happen now. Anyways, Billy is an interesting guy, and Eren has reached Jean's maturity level (after Trost). Let's hope Falco doesn't suffer much, because of his two "teachers". Colt looks like a Farlan figure to me.

The art improvements tho. And i did not know that thor moves to snk u know "warhammer titan" stuff. Nice issayama

I am very happy to see again Eren. He is matured a lot, just thinking about the conversation with Falco. But I am sad for Reiner 'cause it was due the Falco's voice to save him from the suicide and so he went to looking for Falco, tell him that everything will be alright. Reiner is concerned to Falco, he wants to be useful for him but BAM, he found an excited Falco (after talking with Amputee-kun). Reiner can't do anything. He is still alone.

Everyone's going gaga for Eren's new look and I'm sitting here like......ehh..? Seeing Jean (stupid, bratty, Jean) for three panels was wonderful. Zeke and Billy best be plotting. I'd like to see their interactions. I like Billy's character design too, especially the nose and hair.

poll is good but you should do some spell check because you mispelled Tybur as Tyber like 9 times lol

(I know! sorry!)

Great poll, as always, and Billy totally wore wore it better. Also, fingers crossed, Grim Reminder doesn't happen.

FALCO IS A FUCKING CINNAMON ROLL AND DESERVES MORE LOVE!!!!

Reiner's suicide attempt was absolutely haunting. The fact that he didn't hesitate as he loaded up the rifle (Even though doing so would consume a lot of time that could be used to be like 'Wait what am I doing'), the way it was interwoven into the flashbacks (made it seem that everything just piled and piled on him until finally he couldn't take it anymore), the fact that Reiner didn't seem to be thinking about anyone until Falco showed up outside (and that he seemed to only be motivated to live due to the Titan shifter candidates, which would imply a lot about his current connection to his mom ;_;). That shit left me in emotional pain for two days, not even joking. 

the Reiner/Eren parallels reminded me of their fairly friendly dynamic during their 104th days and gave credence to my mini-theory that Reiner asked Eren to come with him and Bertholdt because he was sentimental ;_;. 

"Deer Isayama Reiner is reindeer Jean is horse Conny is monkey Armin is rabbit Zeke has zekerets And Pieck is exactly right"

I just want to hug Reiner, telling him "it's just two more years, come on, you can do it. Help the younglings and then you'll meet Bert again". Plus, I really really hope that Isayama is showing us a lot of Annie to hint she's soon getting out of that f***ing crystal!

Finally a decent chapter; we have the plot moving forward with the Teiber-Magath convo and the Eren reveal, we have some nice flashbacks and also some character development (Eren maturing and Reiner hitting rock bottom :'( ). The pacing was great, not too much focus on one single thing like last chapter.

Eren is Daddy now and that's all my mind had been able to thoroughly process with this chapter. 

Friendship between Reiner and Bertl was strong in this one. I want... MORE. I would also like some back story on the berb turtle please thanks bye

I have a feeling that Annie is starting to side with Paradis Island (Isayama seems to keep dropping hints).

No. Annie still isn't going to switch sides.

im crying in the club

grim remind me Armin

Every time the warriors are hurt in any way shape or form a hostage dies, you've been warned Isayama-sensei.

Hoping to God Willy/Billy is actually Vili

Yeah could we stop with these flashbacks of Annie and actually see her in the present for once? Thanks bye.

Willy's nose is suspiciously like Armins. I realize they're all related, but the nose makes me wonder if he's an Arlert. If so, is Armin the true hero, as Eren predicted?

i was annoyed with the marley arc the first chapter but now am loving it & the marley mandem. i also used 2 think amputee-kun was 2 people (eren & someone else) but now idk

EXTRA DANCC

I think it's high time we see Pieck being exactly right again! It's been 2 WHOLE chapters man, I need my feed of Pieck

I'm worried to death that Eren is gradually losing his spark D:

When will we see the concluding conflict of this beautiful series? Who will die and survive?

can't wait for Isayama to wreck us with feels and revelations

Seeing Kenny again was such a blessing. Also, I'm super excited where the whole Tybur thing is going and can't wait for the revelations we are bound to see sooner or later.

Love it when Isayama tortures Annie and Reiner.

I think, Reiner sees himself as he sees or remembers falco (whyyy i'm crying when i see this boy???!!! And I see bertolini and reinder when they still a trainee wth i'm dying. Thank you Isayama). it give me heart attack too when seeing reiner and that gun in his hand.

although reiner's almost-suicide attempt was tragic, i feel like it was a long time coming. it seems like isayama has been building up to it for a while

"Light of of the Seven" played in my head when I was reading the chapter. I bet next month "The Rains of Castamere" will be played instead

eeeEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKK

I wonder why Isayama decided to put that panel of Zeke right before Eren gives the letter to Falco. It could have been placed somewhere else, but I think he put it there to signify that Eren's letter is to Zeke (or maybe his grandparents?). But a lot of people think its to the Survey Corps, so... 

How is Annie so much shorter than Kenny how tall is he???

Unexpected turn of events w/the Tybur controlling Marly. Such a shock! Isa will choose more shocking reveals. Im scared. The end will be the hardest choice between the lives of one side opposite the other.

I was so happy to see the Marley arc merge with the Survey Corps and pre-Marley arc events with Eren. It really marks the beginning of something new and epic. That letter is gonna set so many things in motion, and now that we have been properly introduced to the holder of the 9th titan's power, things are bound to be more interesting.

One of the best chapters so far. If not the best.

LET EREN ADOPT FALCO

do you think they have sour cream in marley

(This last was comment played out on Reddit and Tumblr . The OP reached out to me and mentioned that they were eating mexican food while taking the poll. Mystery solved!)

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 05.09.17 lb

lololol shivaay turning the paper this way and that trying to read it (it’s in marathi, lol) 😂😂😂

hein? this house has a staircase also???? leading where???? 🤔🤔🤔

shivaaaay + chaaaaaaaai = this should be interesting. 😐😐😐

oh boy she wants him to drink it from the saucer. (always seemed weird to me.) 😕😕😕

lmaoooo “no, that doesn’t sound right.” 😂😂😂

props to him for actually trying this. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

“IT’S GOOD!”  “MERE mooh mein paani aa gaya tha!” 

lmao my tharki mind is interpreting this whole conversation in a verrrrrrrry different way! 😏😏😏

lmaoooooooooooo baalti wali bath! ab aayega mazaaaaaa. the true middle class experience! never am i more humbled than when i have to do a baalti bath back in india. 😌😌😌

please to be watching this video by my fav, kenny sebastian, and him describing the process super accurately. my place in kerala is in the city and the bathroom is in the house and all (ooooh! so fancy!), but this is pretty much how it goes. i can smell the medimix just watching this video! 🙃🙃🙃

you were so pleased with the “rain water harvesting” yesterday billu. time to walk the talk! 😊😊😊

LOL HE TOOK HER SERIOUSLY. 😂😂😂

pft, “humare paas sabun bhi hai????” idiottttt 🙄🙄🙄

LMAO HE TOOK HER SERIOUSLY ABOUT THE DATUN TOO. MAN, RICH PEOPLE ARE SO FUN TO FUCK WITH. 🤣🤣🤣

“main jaa raha hoon nahaane ke liye. tum chalogi mere saath?”

lmao why, billu? do you want a witness for your embarrassment? trust me, you’re not gonna feel even remotely sexy while doing a middle class baalti bath. 

gauri is worried about becoming vidhwaa 6 months into her marriage. 😬😬😬

LMAOOOOO AAPKO US SAAND KE SAATH BAITHKE CHITHRA NAHI BANANE HAI 😂😂😂

OH MY GOD OMKARA, YOU ARE TRULY AN IDIOT. DANGAL MOVIE DEKHNE SE KOI PEHELWAN NAHI HO JAATA. MATLAB,  I’VE WATCHED LEGALLY BLONDE 300 TIMES, MAIN LAWYER THODI HO GAYI HOON. 😒😒😒

same, gauri. #same. 

oufff shivaay ke sarrr se nkk ka bhoot utarkar iske sarrr chadh gaya hai. 😑😑😑

hahahaha herrrrr imitation. her faaaace. i love her so much. 😂😂😂

OMG WTF EVEN ARE THESE KURTAS SHIVAAY IS WEARING THEY LOOK FUCKING RIDICULOUS, WHY ISN’T HE JUST WEARING HIS REGULAR KURTAS THAT HE WEARS AT HOME?!!?!? CURSE YOU SHIRALI CURSE YOU TO HELL, JUST LET THE MAN LIVE 😫😫😫

oh boyyyy chawl udaana hai 😬😬😬

10 to 1 the maalik is…

…. YUP. 😒😒😒

the fuck shivaay, do you even pay attention to half the orders you give? 😐😐😐 how many bldgs have you felled like this without even knowing?

ok the rule was to not use your name and identity for undue advantages. not for situations like these! 😩😩😩

OH MY GOD HE’S ACTUALLY YOUTUBING HOW TO DO KUSHTI. 😧😧😧

son, if that worked, all the fitness videos i watch and subscribe to would have me sporting 6 pack abs and zero jiggle. 😣😣😣

lmao ek din mein 5 kele khaa ke kya hona hai????? 😶😶😶

chor naukar has an unsolicited opinion. 🙄🙄🙄

lmao their reaction! omki’s “get a load of this guy!” head nod. baat aane par dono ek team ho gaye. abhi chor ki jamkar dhulaai hogi. 😂😂😂

hey chawl-blower-upper-dude, why are you such an asshole? just chill maybe? 😒😒😒

gotta love these oBahus and how they’re all ready to throw down the second someone is mean to their patis.  (ง •̀_•́)ง (ง •̀_•́)ง (ง •̀_•́)ง 

GOD SHIVAAY YOU’RE AN IDIOT. JUST MAKE A CALL AND GET YOUR OFFICE TO STOP THE PLAN. HONESTLY. 😒😒😒

“IS CHAWL MEIN REHNE WAALA EK AAM AADMI.” 

WHOSE HAIR KE HIGHLIGHTS COST MORE THAN THE MONTHLY BUDGET OF PPL IN THIS CHAWL. 🙄🙄🙄

…. is he sitting ON the dynamite? 😟😟😟

lmao only the rich think that “the right to peacefully protest” achieves ANYTHING in india. bitch, the aam aadmi has no TIME to protest, peacefully or otherwise. humein ghar bhi chalaane hote hai. 🙄🙄🙄

i feel bad for the explosion guy. he’s also an aam aadmi, trying to do his damn job. kahaan is majnu se paala pad gaya aaj. 😑😑😑

…. and you’re only doing this for anika and sahil? they have alternate housing and are sorted in life now. WHAT ABOUT ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE LIVING IN THE CHAWL WHO DON’T? AM I SUPPOSED TO AWWWWW OVER THIS BS? 😤😤😤

anika’s like OMG!SEXXXXXXXXX TAKE ME NOW HUBBY hearing that sentimental pap though. oh well. whatever works for her. 😕😕😕

lmaooooo her mooophat jawab and his honest laugh at her bindaass-ness. 😊😊😊

the couple that does dharna together, stays together, i guess? 🤔🤔🤔

ok i can’t stop laughing at omki’s hella lame kushti moves. that too, with this untrained idiot who’s not even that heavily built. such false complacency. 😐😐😐

omki going in with some classic WWE moves. 😊😊😊

gauri’s excitement is hella cute though. 😍😍😍

“abbe kahan jaa raha hai bhaag ke? practice kiske saath karoonga abhi?” 

pffffffffffft. 

wifey be like I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE. 🙋🏽🙋🏽🙋🏽

girl, stop putting the sunglasses on every 3 minutes to look cool. woh bhi raat mein. it’s laaaaaaame. 🙄🙄🙄

sure. ok. with all the hair open. you been hanging out with bhavya too much. 😑😑😑

omki be like, oh yeah baby, imma wrestle with you. imma wrestle with you gooooooooooood. imma lift you up and pin you down and then take my shirt off and… hmm? what? yes. wrestling. this is how it’s done. (in the dangal themed porno i came across on the dark side of the web during my “research”.) 😏😏😏😏

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 😍😍😍😍

i like how the chulbul moments are there too. omki is canon confirmed bi/pan/demisexual, fiiiiiiiiiiight me. 😊😊😊

haaaaaaye my cuties. 💖💖💖

i like how it’s night in… lonavla or wherever the f rikara are, and early morning in mumbai where shivika are. because the two places are in DIFFERENT TIME ZONES 12 HOURS APART. 😐😐😐

balbirrrrrrrr should NOTTTTTTTTTT have done that. 😠😠😠

LMAO “AYE INKE HEIGHT PE MAT JAA!!!!!!!!”  “BOLNA ZAROORI THA YEH?” “YEH MOTA AAPKE HEIGHT KA MAZAAK UDAA RAHA HAI!” “haan, aur tum usse aur underline kar do!!!” 

my god what a family of fighty little munchkins this is today. 😊😊😊

oh, iska boss bhi idhar hi hai? 

LMAO IS THAT KHANNAAAAAAAAAA?????????? HAHAHAHAHAHA 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

lollllllllllllll khanna’s been using the SSO name to act like big mannnnn. 

“namaste khannaji!” “nahi, BOSS!” 

heeeee heeee heeeeeee 😂😂😂

ok that looks like the most uncomfortable way to sleep, gauri. 

has he been practicing all night????? great, he’s gonna go wrestle with NO training, and not having SLEPT either. idiot. 😒😒😒

oufffff gauri ask bhavya to send BACKUP instead of asking her for kushti tips, jfc. 😑😑😑

billu ka swaagat toh aise kiya jaa raha hai jaise jung se lauta ho. fucking ridiculous. 🙄🙄🙄

such cute. 💖💖💖💖💖💖

dadi gave you the fucking night off from her pehredaari to go at it like rabbits and you spent it talking about baltis and whatnot. this is what you call WASTE OF OPPORTUNITY. 😫😫😫😫

bhavya looking 10000% done with rudra is me. #freeMyGirl 😣😣😣

lo, billu ne bhavya ko bhi adopt kar liya. he’s like who needs stupidass brothers when i can have AWESOMEASS SISTERSSSSSSSS 😊😊😊

LMAOO RUDRA’S LOOK OF BETRAYAL 🤣🤣🤣🤣

don’t think i missed bhavya looking all choked up though. 😭😭😭

allllllllll the toe touches in the world aren’t gonna help ya, omki. 😐😐😐

dude, like yeh balram legit apne khanna ka bhai lagta hai. 😗😗😗

of course he’s not gonna listen. 🙄🙄🙄

aaaaaaaaaaaand there goes the lassi. and the omkara. 😕😕😕

OMG THAT SHOT OF HIS FACE BOUNCING OFF THE FLOOR HAHAHAHAHAHA 🤣🤣🤣🤣

HE’S FUCKING OUT. WITHOUT EVEN STEPPING INTO THE RING LOLOLOLOLOLOL. THIS IS FUCKING HILAAAAAAAAAAAARIOUS HAHAHAHAHAHAHA 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

LMAO HOW EVEN IS THE SHOW PLAYING THIS AS A SERIOUS MOMENT I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING OMG 😂😂😂😂

ouff. stupid mardaangi taunts. #masculinitySoFragile

ok fwding the nonsense till bulbul gets into the ring. 

aw. bhavyaaa. *hugs her* we love you, we do. which is why we want better for you than f’ing rudra. sumo toh khud hi jaan chudaaa kar chali gayi. ab tumhe kaise bachaaye is se. 🙁🙁🙁

anika’s crying too. and has dialogues about family ka hissa and all. all that is okay, but please god don’t make her chutki. 😬😬😬

rudra calling for cessation of this divisive team policy in order to get some bro bonding time. 😌😌😌

waaah, dadi maan bhi gayi. 😯😯😯

wait, shivaay and rudra have a GANG? these ppl have OTHER friends??? 😧😧😧

surprise element? um… idk why but my mind instantly went to bachelor party and strippers. 😬😬😬

gauri be like BITCH, DON’T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE AND EK JHAANP MEIN DEEWAR PE SATTAAO-FY YOU 😠😠😠😠

big talk from all the men. PFT. COMEEEEEEEEE ONNNNN GAURIIII. 

LMAO THE INTERCUTS TO SHOW OM STILL PASSED OUT COLD IS MAKING ME LOL SO HARD 😂😂😂

girl please, TIE YOUR DAMN HAIR UP. WHAT’S WRONG WITH ALL THE WOMEN IN THIS SHOW 😩😩😩

can balram stop with the stupid yelling and faces? coz does this woman look intimidated by it? uh. that would be a resounding NO. 🙄🙄🙄

ok fwding. coz honestly i fucking CAN’T. 

god just fucking kick him in the nutsssss and END THISSSSSS 😫😫😫

LMAO OMKI JUST WOKE UP AND IS LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK 😟😟😟😟😟

hold up, few seconds ka rewind. waaah, shivaay ki tarah ab isse bhi Awareness™ chadhta hai when wife is hurt/in danger. 

mubarak ho on your new superpowers, omkiiii! they’re gonna make your life an anxiety-ridden hell, since YOUR wife wants to fight every third person she meets. 🙃🙃🙃

hubs be like AW HELL NO, NO ONE MESSES WITH MY CHIRAIYYA; HERE HAVE A KICK TO THE GODDAMN CHEST 😤😤😤😡😡😡

arre waaaaah. out in like a minute. omki toh bada chupaa rustam nikla! boy, take off that shirt so we can see what you’re REALLLLLLYY working with, body wise. you know, FOR RESEARCH. 😗😗😗

what “uthhhhhh balram”??? whoever hits the ground back-first loses. and he’s lost. fuck off now sadde hue tauji. 😒😒😒

haaaaaaaaaaaye. my sweeeetooooos. 💗💗💗

actualllllllly cryingggggg at omkiiiiii freely confessing that he couldn’t bear to see her get hurttttttttt. 😭😭😭😭😭

“shankarji ki tarah gusse mein aapki teesri aankh khul gayi.” 😅😅😅

JUST KISS ALREADYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY 😩😩😩😩

yes ok uncleji, thanks for your completely unsolicited validation but we just want the murti, so give us that and we’ll be on our way, thanks. 😒😒😒

rikara be like pyaaaaaaar? whaaat? no! we’re just roomies! with a lot of sexual tension. 😯😯😯😯😯

lmaoooo chubby has some new cockamamie scheme. 😆😆😆

hahahaha “investment”. sure. maybe ask your cambridge mba waala bhaiyya how investments actually work?????? 🙄🙄🙄

[ladyloveandjustice]

The Great Ace Attorney Replay: Apollo Justice finale

I pretty much plowed through the non-Phoenix-Wright-Depression-Power-Hour and Phoenix-and-Trucy-being-cute parts of the last case without bothering to livechat it or anything, but now that I’ve finished I will collect my thoughts on it and on the game in general.

I think I definitely enjoyed it more than I did my first playthrough because I knew how “eh” the plot was going to be and just paid attention to little character moments and ignored it. Also I wasn’t tormented by the “WHERE THE FUCK ARE MAYA AND MILES” question since AA5 and AA6 mostly answered that. I could also appreciate it was a very nice game visually and the mechanics were pretty good. 

But I do have to stand by my assessment of it as being very lacking in several ways. Like, Klavier for instance, had potential to be a way better character than he was. He was pretty amusing/ridiculous and it’s novel to have the prosecutor be pretty friendly and actually constantly blatantly flirt with you, but wow, they dropped the ball SO HARD on the storyline with Kristoph for both him and Apollo. And what’s too bad is there were hints of it’s potential to be a WAY better storyline. 

Like. Klavier was the prosecutor for the trial where his own brother was convicted for murder, and also discovered that his brother manipulated him into ruining innocent people’s lives. That is a BIG deal. 

The dialogue between Kristoph and Klavier during that trial was genuinely a little unsettling at first too- Kristoph saying stuff like “sorry, it looks like my brother’s lost the ability to behave rationally” and Klavier kind of freaking out sort of gave the impression Kristoph manipulating and seemingly gaslighting his brother wasn’t a new thing- but then all that tension is completely ruined by how easily Klavier is able to get over it. There wasn’t really enough build-up to make the turnaround where he asks Apollo to prove bro guilty meaningful. We didn’t get enough of a sense of their relationship or what this meant for Klavier for it to matter.

It was the same for Apollo- there was like, a single moment where he felt kind of intimidated by Kristoph and like he was still his boss, but then it was gone with the wind. They really could have gotten something more out of the dramatics of the situation- like how the hell did Apollo end up working for Kristoph in the first place? Why did he choose his company? Why did Kristoph hire him? How did they meet? What did he think of him before all this? The game wasn’t really interested in developing Apollo to make any of this matter for him or by extension, the player. It was way more interested in what it meant for Phoenix. (AA6 cared about exploring Apollo waaaay more than this game did, so it’s so weird for me his fans still don’t feel it did him “justice”)

This also extends to Klavier and Apollo’s relationship- like they do have a pretty fun dynamic- Klavier basically hitting on Apollo 24/7 and Apollo not really noticing/mostly being kind of annoyed/intimidated and like “UGH COULD U STOP BEING SO COOL AND PRETTY” is a goldmine for funny shippy fic and I can see why fandom runs so hard with it, but the reason I could never really get into it is there’s not much beneath the surface- and there really COULD have been a lot more of an interesting story between the two of them. Apollo was present for the part of Klavier’s life where he discovered everything he did was wrong and even was the one who finally exposed that to him- that’s a HUGE thing and a similar thing happened with Miles and Nick and is a huge lynchpin for their relationship- but it was just not at all treated with that level here.

 The one single moment where they seem to connect on something deeper is Apollo going “omg he’s being consumed by darkness i’ll pull that darkness out of him” but like with all the other examples, it’s just a single moment that isn’t supported by the rest of the text. I saw no other indication that Apollo was the only one who could pull the darkness out or even that it actually was in any way a big deal for Klavier. There honestly doesn’t feel like much of a connection between them and anything that could potentially be meaningful is glossed over. 

(I could grumble a lot about how fandom seems to be willing to do the extra work for these two and fill in the holes for that characterization and doesn’t at all do the same for female characters who have as much or more going for them and are even more neglected but i’ll spare you that rant.)

 (like i see tons of post lamenting Klavier disappearing from the games and it’s hard for me to care even though i don’t dislike him, because 1. he did not, he still shows up in both of them even if one was only an au ep in 6 that’s more than other missing characters have gotten. like yeah they didn’t bother to develop him with those appearances??? but they NEVER developed him IN THE FIRST PLACE, THIS IS NOT NEW??? and 2. meanwhile Franziska and Kay have legit vanished from the games why don’t i see 20 billion posts about them. They both genuinely have unresolved character arcs that were in progress and demand a conclusion, unlike Klavier, who just didn’t really have one in the first place because he instantly got over his problems, yet somehow they’re not getting stanned and lamented in the same way)

(ok so i guess i didn’t spare you) (but god I want to see if Franziska was able to become a prosecutor free from her dad’s shadow, if she was able to stop feeling inferior to Miles! I want to see if Kay was able to find her own path and what she chose to do with her life! these were legit goals they had and were striving for!)

This game had a lot of fun parts- Ema in particular was a highlight I forgot how much I love her in this game- and it excelled in giving us stuff that’s interesting the play with if you cared to- the seven year gap where Phoenix was a depressed hobo is angst central and there’s SO much you can play with there, from the twisted relationship he seemed to have with Kristoph to adjusting to being a parent to the idea of him even pushing Miles and Maya away since that’s the only explanation for them not being there- the fact that the stuff it didn’t bother to explain is the most interesting aspect of the game and not anything to do with the title character or what we saw onscreen is kind of sad, though.

One thing on screen that was interesting about the game I would have liked to see develop more was the jurist system, especially knowing this was meant to reflect the jury system returning to Japan irl and was meant to be a commentary on that. It’s weird how that was just dropped. I know it would be a hard mechanic to incorporate, but you could do SOMETHING with it. I wish it had been built up to and explored a little more in this game proper, and also stuck around for later games. 

Anyway, yeah. Apollo Justice: full of gaping holes, but at least there’s some fun stuff to play with if you so chose. I’ll be looking forward to see how I weigh DD and Investigations against it upon replay. Investigations is next! Then DD! Then I play the Professor Layton crossover for the first time! Look forward to it! Or don’t! I don’t run yer life!

also i do love these characters so ima gonna do an apollo justice mini-spam today in honor of my finished replay.

[12setsofchopsticks]

TOKYO DISNEY

So now let me tell you about Tokyo Disney:

WARNING: THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG POST!!

OK SO, there are two parks at Tokyo Disney, Disneyland and Disneysea. Disneyland is basically the Orlando equivalent of the Magic Kingdom and Disneysea is kind of like the other three parks combined (I have never been to Disneyland in California so I can only relate to Orlando). Shota and I chose to go to Disneysea, and it was a blast! I wasn’t totally sure if he knew exactly what he was getting into by going to Disney with me, but he kept up so it was all good! 

^Some of the scenery from Disneysea.

It was lucky we decided on Disneysea because a few days later I would end up going to Disneyland with my senseis 

^They are so cute, I love them. 

We went after work with the “After 6 Passport” so all of the fastpasses were gone (SAD!) but we still had so much fun.

First let me talk about the things that were the same:

Attractions: Many of the rides have an Orlando equivalent, like Toy Story Mania and Tower of Terror although they do a little bit of a different spin on them (at least Tower of Terror, we didn’t get a chance to do Toy Story).

Some of the rides are the same but with different theming, for example, the Indiana Jones Adventure is the pretty much the Dinosaur: Countdown to Extinction ride in Animal Kingdom. However, there were also things like Aladdin’s magic carpet and the teacups just to keep it classic. Also OMG I was walking around Disneysea just minding my own business when I saw a whole area themed around CAPE COD. I could not believe it!! I was like SHOTA THIS IS WHERE I AM FROM.

I thought it was so crazy that, of all the places in the world, Tokyo Disney decided to highlight the charms of the good ole’ Cape! 

Apparently there is a bear character named Duffy that is from there, why I didn’t know that is totally beyond me. Anyways. Disneyland was almost exactly the same as Magic Kingdom. There are the three mountains (Space, Splash, and Big Thunder), It’s a Small World, Haunted Mansion, Pirates, etc. Interestingly enough, it was all located in the same general areas too. My senseis were super surprised when I knew exactly how to get from Space Mountain to Big Thunder, without a map, despite having never been to the park before. Cinderella’s castle sits in the middle of the park (it is said that the story of Cinderella resonates in Japanese culture due to her hardworking attitude) but unlike in MK, you can actually go inside and walk around inside the castle! Unfortunately, this was closed by the time we got there.

SIDENOTE! The park music was also the same, at least for Disneyland, I didn’t even realize it until I was in Frontierland humming along to the music and my senseis were like “oh, have you heard this song before?” and I was like “oh, yes I guess I have, LOL!” Then when I got to Tomorrowland I realized that it was indeed the same and I got all kinds of fuzzy feelings. And, of course, in true Disney fashion, there are also fireworks every night.

Fastpasses: Yeah, so they still use the paper fastpasses which, for me, is a bit of a throwback. But I think Orlando is currently the only park that uses the magic bands/MyDisneyExperience FP right now though, so it’s not too different from other parks. When the magic bands come though, you better believe I’ll be ready for it. One thing to note here is that the fastpasses run out MUCH faster than in Florida. We went to Disneysea on a “slow” day and FPs for Toy Story were gone after two hours.

That being said, Shota and I did a really good job organizing our fastpasses and got on a whole bunch of rides at Disneysea. As I mentioned earlier, when I went to Disneyland, it was late so the fastpasses were already gone. So even though it goes against everything I believe in to wait for Space Mountain for nearly TWO HOURS, I did it. It actually wasn’t so bad though because we got Mickey-shaped cheeseburgers and ate them in line, which was one of the best ideas of the night.

Anyways. Kind of related to fastpasses is the ticketing. Like I mentioned above, Tokyo Disney does not yet have the magicband technology so everything is still paper. You *can* get your ticket online and print it out or buy it directly from the ticket counter, but what a lot of people (read: tourists) may not know is that you can actually buy your ticket from the conbini. Have I talked about conbinis yet and how awesome they are? Holy moly, more on that to come later I guess, but YES! There is a 7/11 that is maybe a stone’s throw from my house so we hopped on over the night before and bought our tickets right then and there. Boom, done. How cool is that??

Monorail: There is a monorail that takes you around from the parks and resorts. It was much cuter than the Orlando ones because all the windows and handles were shaped like mickeys.

HOW KAWAII, RIGHT???

One difference here is that you have to pay to use it. This is most likely due to the sheer number of people who come to Tokyo Disney via public transportation.

Staff: Every staff person I encountered was really friendly and helpful. Some more good news here is that most of them speak English really well, too! Someone even gave me a sticker for my birthday and drew a picture with my name on it :3

^ FYI that’s my name. Also my BiRtHdAyYyYy!

Also all of the performers were great! Every show I saw had really talented dancers and their costumes were certainly on point. Not that the WDW parks don’t have good talent, but boy these people really take their job seriously and their hard work shows!

Okay, now let’s talk about the things that were different:

The Crowds: Holy moly, we got to Disneysea around a half hour before the park opened and this was the line to get in:

Keep in mind that it was 7:30 am on a random Monday. The crowds were like nothing I have ever seen before. It should have been madness, but actually…it wasn’t. This was one of the major differences between Disney world and Tokyo Disney that I noticed; that, despite the sheer numbers of people, things were still neat and orderly. However, there were many staff members holding up signs (especially in the morning) that said “please do not run!” The temperament of the crowd was generally considerate, which I think was partly due to Japanese culture and partly also that it wasn’t 95F with 100% humidity. On a slightly related note, I didn’t see any toddler meltdowns (MIRACLE??)

Shopping: Anyone who’s ever been to Disney knows that the shopping is a big part of the experience and Tokyo Disney is no different. However, what they have in the souvenir shops are really different. A big part of Japanese culture is gift giving, especially in the form of small souvenir snacks or おみやげ (o-mi-ya-gay), which literally translates to “souvenir.” I noticed that, instead of the things that you usually see in the Orlando shops—like pins, mugs, snowglobes, etc.—there were a lot more snacks in fancy tins for people to take home and give to their friends, families, and coworkers. It seemed like many of the items that were being sold were marketed as things that people could give as gifts for others, rather than items to take home for themselves, which really reflects the omiyage culture that is the desire to share experiences with your peers through souvenirs. I got these two, look how CUTE the frozen one is!!

Among the omiyage, I also saw tons and tons of apparel. Ears galore!! One hilarious thing I kept seeing were these giant hats of characters like the aliens from Toy Story or Olaf from Frozen.

Especially when kids in groups wore them they looked like the real aliens, I wish I got a real picture cause it was really funny to see. Another interesting trend is these things that people buy to hold popcorn (more on popcorn below). It’s basically just a big plastic bucket in the shape of a character and people wear them around their necks. I saw them EVERYWHERE, like they were literally the coolest thing since corn first popped.

Food: I’m almost tempted to say that the food wasn’t as good, but I feel like that’s an unfair statement because Orlando has so many world-class restaurants and I only ate park food. HOWEVER, I can definitely say that the food was different. Like WTF is this thing:

Have you ever seen any food item that looks more like a giant isopod? But actually this thing was delicious. With a name called “gyoza sausage bun” how could it not be, right? Still, it looked so alien.

Speaking of alien food, I also saw these lil guys:

I didn’t eat them, but I did take a picture and laugh about them for a little bit. Another big thing in Tokyo Disney is POPCORN. Holy moly, if I didn’t see over 12 flavors of popcorn. There were definitely normal flavors like butter and caramel, but then there were things like soy sauce & butter, strawberry, cappuccino, and curry! I didn’t try any though. PROBABLY CAUSE I DIDN’T HAVE ONE OF THOSE AWESOME POPCORN CONTAINERS. Ugh, next time. One thing I DID definitely have though, was a churro!! Yes, churros!!! However, they were not exempt from the strange flavors either. While I enjoyed a cinnamon sugar one, they had sweet potato and strawberry as well. They also had turkey legs but they were like, half the size as the ones in Orlando. Shota COULD NOT believe it when I showed him a picture of the turkey legs I had in Magic Kingdom, he was like “IS THAT EVEN REAL?? DID YOU ACTUALLY EAT THAT?” Yes, I did. And I learned my lesson, which is why I’m not getting another one ever again.

Also look at this adorable Mickeyburger:

Language: I guess this one is pretty obvious, but pretty much everything was in NIHONGO!! 

Because Disney is an American entity, there was still a huge amount of English around. Mostly these were things like ride and store names (or anything that was trademarked, really) and various warnings/disclaimers (think “please stand clear of the doors/por favor….”). But! Almost all of the character voices sounded the same. It was super strange to hear Mickey Mouse in his Mickey Mouse voice say something like “僕のたもだちが大好き!” (I love my friends!), it was like those stories you hear of someone waking up from like a coma and suddenly being fluent in another language. Bizarre!

Also, the songs would switch back and forth between English and Japanese. I guess I knew that they would translate songs to popular movies like Frozen, but it’s still strange to hear “雪だるまつ��ろう? ( yuki daruma tsukurou)” instead of “do you wanna build a snowman?”.

At the same time, it’s a little disorienting to finally have gotten used to Japanese Disney only to realize that what I’m *actually* hearing is English. It’s a really hard feeling to describe, but it kind when you snap out of a daydream and you know that someone has been talking to you but you have no idea what they just said.

OH WELL, WHO CARES!

So in conclusion, I still think that Disney World is better than Tokyo Disney (it’s hard to compete, especially given the size), but I’m really glad I got to experience both parks! I think they did a really good job taking an American theme park and blending it with Japanese culture. I will definitely go back before I return to the states!

[bellamy-ooc]

Ok! So I am FINALLY posting pics from the Unity Days days con!! I am SO SORRY to those who have been asking! I’ve been SUPER slow with getting back into the swing of things!! I will try to keep this short and sweet since I could go on and on about my experience there ALL DAYYY!!! I figured, what better day to post this all than THE 100 DAY!!!

The pics above were SO much fun to take! A couple of my faves is that first one that was the “CAmp Jaha” photop!! I told them that I had NO ideas of what to do and Sachin just scooped me up! Effortless!! and I heard Richard say in the back “Well now I can’t hold her!” or something! So THATS How that pic came out! haahh! AND I LOVE IT!!

The other GREAT one was the one with Bob, Jarod and Rich! omg it was great! I said the same thing of “I have no ideas!” And Bob was like “Just stand there” And THATS the pic that came out of it!! HAHAH! I waas SO amused by it!! Brilliant!! They all look creepy but I adore it!!

Sachin and RIchard biting my hat... great minds think alike?! I took the Sach and Rich one first and I don’t think Sachin knew what RIchard did! Cause later when I took the solo with Sachin, after he’s like “I bit your hat...” And I told him that Richard did the exact same thing!! Fun fact: my hat now has Sach and Rich love bites!! hehe!!

First of all, I have to reiterate what we all already know: THE CAST IS AMAZING!!!!!! I went there with every intention of praising them and telling them how fantastic they were! What I was NOT expecting.. was the compliments they showered me with! not as a fan, but as a PERSON!! whether they loved my name, my clothes, my energy, my positivity, whatever it may be! I even joked with Chelsey at one point saying “You’re good for my self esteem!” and she said, “YOU”RE good for your self esteem” while laughing!! Seriously though, the cast was just so BEYOND sweet!!! 

Tasya remembered me from Germany last summer! As SOON as she saw me, she gave me hugs and then everytime I saw her, hugs ensued! She told me to message her and that she was coming to Halifax to hang out!! haahh! Hoping to see her here ;)

Sachin was another AMAZING person!! I got like a total of 6 hugs from the guy! When getting his autograph, he got out of his seat to give a hug! And then when I got to have a chat with him towards the end of the con (THANKS to their manager Dan!!) He gave so many hugs throughout the convo! as if that wasn’t enough, I saw him coming out of the elevator and MORE hugs!! The dude is just an epic hugger!! He was a huge highlight for me to get to meet!! Seriously AMAZING and totally underrated!! He has SO much appreciation and love for the fans and is such a genuine person!!

Some other highlights?? I got to pet Ellie (a few times) and Socha!! ADORABLE DOGGIES!! I got to meet Arryn a bunch of times! TY was there too! And got to have a wonderful chat with him!!

MAJOR HIGHLIGHT: I had made special 100 books for the cast and didn’t get to print them in time! SO i talked to their manager (he remembered me from Germany and we got along GREAT!!) to ask for a mailing address and he wanted to see them! I showed him pics of them on my phone and OMG!!! He wants to SELL them at cons now!! He said that he wants some other options apart from the 8x11 head shots!! And that he wants them for the europe tour in March!! SO if you’re going . . . hopefully you’ll see my books there! I am SUPER excited about this project! INitially I was INCREDIBLY insecure but Dan really boosted my confidence! I wasn’t allowed to show any of the other actors cause he wanted it to be a surprise!! HAHAH! He let me show Sachin though and he LOOVEDD Them!! So I’m STOKED for this and hoping to keep providing the management with it!! I shall be posting pics of them soon!!

I will post more updates later! Including some fun things from the Meet and Greets I had with Jarod, Richard, and Sach! Not really spoilery but more just about their awesome personalities!! ANd I shall share the autograph pictures as well! And some selfies I took with Ty and Arryn!

All in alll, it was an AMAZZIINNNGG EXPERIENCE!!!!! Can’t wait for the next con!! =D