#omg full legal name??

[oversoonjpg]

hiiiiiiiiiii dallon!!!

ermmm i’m like so happy w/ the body and posing but i am so upset at the head lol. Just a sketch though, it’s been a while since i’ve drawn dallon.

[sonknuxadow]

Sonics real name is 'none of your business'

#StopTryingToDeadNameTheHedgehog

REAL

[cowardlycowboys]

me and @venerablehoney think tb is a sexy disease and WE'RE RIGHT

[justagalwhowrites]

So this may be awkward but I saw your dbf fic and thought what about best friend's dad? Obviously it would either have to be a no outbreak au where Sarah is in her 20s or several years after the show when Ellie is an adult. Maybe the oc is a few years older than Ellie or Sarah or whichever you choose. Maybe I just haven't read enough TLOU smut but this is one I haven't seen and I would love to read something like this!

OMG Hi bestie!

So THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT WITH THIS??? You sent this in FOREVER ago but I've been so hung up on Lavender and Beskar Doll I just didn't get around to this.

Anyway, HERE'S THE ASK FINALLY! I hope you like it!

UPDATE A/N: This is now a full series (has been for a while but I just realized I never linked to the master list from here.) If you'd like to read more, you can find it here.

New in Town

When you move to Austin for work, your best friend Sarah recommends that you hang out with her dad, Joel, to get to know the area. Sarah just never mentioned the fact that her dad is just your type.

Pairing: BFD!Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: SMUT! Fingering, oral (male receiving), protected P in V sex. Legal age gap (Reader is 35 Joel is 47.) No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ only

Length: 5.6k (wtf is my problem)

You should have made Sarah text you a picture at the very least. 

The bar was starting to get busy and you’d realized about 15 minutes earlier that you had no fucking clue what your best friend’s dad looked like. 

“You’re sure it’s not weird that I hang out with your dad?” You asked Sarah the morning you left town. 

“It’s not weird,” she waved you off, her curls bouncing. “Promise. He’s not like… an old dad. He’s fun. You get along with me so you’ll get along with him. It’s at least something so you’re not stuck in Austin not knowing anybody.” 

“Yeah,” you nodded and then sighed, looking at your coffee. One last cup of the good stuff in Seattle before your flight in a few hours. 

There was a knot in your stomach at the thought of leaving, now that it was actually here. You’d been in Seattle for two years now after moving here for work. Sarah was the only other woman in your department - not to mention the only other person under 40. She might have been 10 years younger than you but the two of you had become fast friends. She’d been there for a year - she’d started fresh out of college - when you came aboard and was kind enough to let you in on the office politics. 

“So fucking glad to have another girl around here,” she said after you’d been there about two weeks, her arm looped through yours as you walked to a restaurant down the street from your office for lunch. “Lunch just isn’t as good with old dudes…” 

Making friends outside of the office was just as awkward as you remembered and it wasn’t long before you and Sarah were hanging out all the time outside of work, too. She was probably going to be the thing you missed most about Seattle. 

But the promise of a big promotion - setting up your own team at the new branch of your firm in Austin - was too good to pass up. 

“Hey,” she put her hand on your wrist from across the small table. “You’re going to kill it down there. Just remember to demand me when the time comes to add a junior copywriter.” 

“Well, simply no one else will do,” you smiled a little. She laughed. 

You finished your coffee and Sarah dropped you off at the airport - your office paying to ship all your things down - and you flew off to your new life in Texas. 

After a week of settling in, you finally caved and reached out to Sarah’s dad. She told you to just text him and you kind of hoped he wouldn’t respond. Once the ball was in his court, you’d be off the hook. If he never responded and you never met the guy, Sarah could hardly hold it against you. 

“Hi! Is this Joel Miller?” You texted originally, following it up with your name and - just in case Sarah hadn’t bothered to tell him you were going to be texting - some indication that you weren’t a total stranger. “I just moved to town and Sarah told me to text you.” 

“There,” you said to yourself, taking a sip of wine as you sat back on your couch. “Done. Not my problem any….” 

Your phone lit up on your coffee table and you groaned. Of course he texted back. Of course he texted back fucking immediately. 

“Hi,” he said. “Sarah mentioned you might text. Said you might need someone to show you around town. Want to grab a drink later this week?” 

You rapped your fingers against the globe of your glass, the wine lush and red. 

“Sure,” you said. “I don’t start work until next week, so just let me know when and where works for you and I’ll be there!” 

You made plans to meet up two days later. You’d showed up a few minutes early, wanting to get the lay of the land before you met a stranger in a bar. 

Joel, it seemed, was a bit late. You kept looking up at the door, waiting to see someone who looked something like Sarah walk in. But so far, there wasn’t anyone who fit the bill. A few guys who looked like they were UT students deciding to check out something further from campus, four guys who who definitely had just gotten off motorcycles, one man who was almost stupid hot and looked about 10 years too young to be Sarah’s dad and a guy about your age with a date. 

You glanced at your phone. 9:13. At what point did you call it? Maybe try to pick up the hot guy who seemed to be hovering on his own at the bar. You hadn’t gotten laid in a while and you’d at least done your hair and makeup, even if you hadn’t tried to look like you were looking for a hookup. 

Your phone screen hadn’t fully dimmed yet when it lit up bright, vibrating with Joel’s name on the caller ID. You sighed and answered. 

“Hello?” You pressed your free hand against your ear, trying to drown out the sound of the bar behind you, but it sounded noisy on his end, too. 

“Hi,” he said, a bit of a Texas twang in his voice. “Just wanted to make sure you were still plannin’ on comin’ out tonight…” 

“Yeah,” you laughed a little. “I was wondering the same about you, I’m here…” 

“Where?” He said. “Don’t see you…” 

You started looking around then, too, looking at every face at every table around you before you settled on… the stupid hot guy at the bar. 

Who looked too young to have a kid Sarah’s age. 

Who had a phone pressed to his ear. 

Who was now staring at you. 

You raised a hand and smiled awkwardly, giving him a small wave. 

He looked surprised for a moment before hanging up his phone, grabbing his beer from the bar, and heading for your table. 

“I’m so sorry,” he said, setting his drink down across from you and taking his seat. “I didn’t mean to keep you waitin’, I was just expecting someone Sarah’s age…” His eyes went wide for a second. “Not that you look old or anythin’, just… Not what I was expecting.” 

“Yeah, Sarah was the baby of the Seattle office,” you smiled a little. “She’s the best though. Thank God for her, I’d have been so bored there without her.” 

“Yeah,” he smiled and nodded. “She is the best.” 

Up close, Joel was still stupid hot. Uncomfortably hot. It was not fair how hot he was for him to be off limits because he was your best friend’s dad. His hair was dark and a little shaggy and you had to fight the urge to brush an unruly curl back from his brow. His eyes were the warmest brown with a light to them that made you want to just stare at him for a while. His crooked smile with one dimple, his slightly patchy beard, his unreasonably sculpted arms for a man who had to have at least a decade on you unless he was a teenager when Sarah was born. If you hadn’t met him this way, you’d be trying to get him home for at least a one night stand. But he was your best friend’s dad. Even if he made your core tighten and heat pool around your hips. 

It turned out, you and Joel had more in common than you’d expected. You liked the same music and he knew some good live music spots in town. You were both into hiking - and both agreed that the views in this part of the country would be kind of lacking compared to the Pacific Northwest. You both liked trying to find the spiciest food in town and eating it as a matter of principle. 

Of course, you hadn’t spent much time with men the age you THOUGHT Joel was going to be. Your only experience with men in their 50s was at work and that usually involved showing them how to save a word document as a PDF. You’d gone into this expecting to sit awkwardly with the guy for about an hour before going your separate ways. But you were pretty sure he was in his mid 40s, the same age as a lot of the guys you’d gone out with back in Seattle, and the more drinks you had the harder it was to remember that you weren’t on a date. You were hanging out with your best friend’s dad. She probably had to beg him to meet up with you, he probably had a girlfriend he’d much rather be spending time with on a Friday night instead of his daughter’s friend who was new in town. 

But he seemed happy enough to stay for hours. The two of you were laughing over a particularly bad movie you’d somehow both seen - Giant Spider Invasion - when the bar announced last call. 

“Shit,” Joel looked at his watch, clamping his hand over it after a second. “Didn’t realize how late it got. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take up your whole damn night…” 

“No, I’m sorry,” you waved him off, reaching for your phone for the first time in hours to try and order an Uber. “I’m sure you’ve got better things to do than entertain me.” 

“Not exactly,” he half smiled at you. That fucking dimple. “Don’t really got a thirvin’ social life. I get the feeling this arrangement was as much for me as it was you, knowin’ Sarah.” 

“She’s cunning, that one,” you said, putting in your destination address. You groaned. “Shit!”

“What?” Joel asked. 

“Surge pricing,” you sighed. “Come ON, it’s almost 2 a.m., it can’t be that busy…” 

“It’s homecomin’ weekend at the school,” he shrugged. “Everyone’s in town drinking.” 

“That’ll do it,” you sighed, bracing yourself to spend almost $100 on a car ride home. 

“I can give you a ride,” he said. You looked up from your phone, frowning. “I’m good to drive.”

“I don’t want to put you out,” you said, about to push the button anyway. 

“You’re not,” he said. “Trust me.” 

*** 

Joel was very nearly in over his head with you. 

Every part of him was practically screaming “mistake, mistake, mistake, you are a big fucking mistake!” 

You were Sarah’s best friend. 

You were more than a decade younger than him. 

You were starting a new job and a new life and he really shouldn’t be trying to date someone he’d just hold back. 

YOU WERE SARAH’S BEST FRIEND. 

But none of that seemed to matter. He was damn near ready to kiss whatever asshole at Uber came up with surge pricing. He’d never been happier for an excuse to give someone a ride home. 

It had been years - at least - since he’d felt like this about anyone. He’d known you for hours, no time at all, but it felt like years. Like he could say anything to you and you’d understand it. You were obviously smart, so fucking smart. After talking about movies with you for five minutes he was half convinced you saw an entirely different movie than he had, talking about allegories and symbolism and holding onto little lines he wasn’t sure anyone else would notice or think about twice. He wanted to see if you’d let him get to know you that way, if you’d have any interest in trying to know him that way. Fuck, he wanted to know you.

It didn’t help that he’d spotted you the second he was in the bar, absently turning your glass in your fingers, looking at one of the University of Texas themed Bud Light posters on the wall like you were examining it, your eyebrows drawn together, your mind clearly somewhere else entirely. You were fucking gorgeous. Gorgeous in a way that it was a problem, it was distracting, it made him not want to think about or look at or consider anything else. It took conscious effort to not stare at you. When he hadn’t known who you were, he’d been praying Sarah’s friend would stand him up so he could go talk to you. Fuck, he wanted to talk to you. 

And then you answered the phone. 

And you were Sarah’s best friend. 

Fuck.

“You settlin’ in OK and all?” He asked after you gave him your address and he programmed it into Google Maps. 

“Mostly,” you nodded. “It’d be better if I could actually get a maintenance guy to come out to my place but…” 

Joel frowned. 

“What’s goin’ on?” 

“The garbage disposal has a hell of a leak,” you sighed. “I don’t know shit about plumbing so I’m afraid to try to fix it on my own. And the ceiling fan in my bedroom seems like it’s trying break out from its drywall prison whenever I turn it on so that’s been pretty useless. Maintenance keeps saying they’ll come by but they never do. I don’t think I’ll stay in that place longer than a year, this is what I get for apartment hunting from across the country.” 

“I could look at it for you,” Joel shrugged before he was smart enough to stop himself. 

“No,” you laughed and shook your head. “You’ve done enough for me as it is, I cannot ask you…” 

“You didn’t ask, I offered,” he said. “I’m a contractor, my area of expertise is fixin’ shit shoddy builders fucked up. You have plans tomorrow? I can come by, take a look.” 

Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid. That’s what he was. Fucking stupid. 

“Tomorrow would be great, actually,” you said. “I’m just about unpacked but I have a whole box of under the sink kitchen stuff that’s still sitting on my table and driving me insane. But you’re sure I’m not putting you out? I swear, it’s nothing that urgent, I just need to light a fire under management’s ass…” 

“Not puttin’ me out,” he smiled a little at the idea of that. Fuck, you were doing him a favor, giving him an excuse to see you again. 

Stupid. 

Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid STUPID. 

SARAH’S. BEST. FRIEND. 

“Early afternoon OK?” He asked. “Unless you gotta be somewhere…” 

“Yeah, so far my vibrant social life here includes you and the barista down the street who now knows I prefer my lattes skim,” you laughed. “I’ll be around, come over whenever works for you. I hugely appreciate it, you have no idea.” 

He watched you go into your apartment when he dropped you off, a townhouse that had definitely been built in the last five years. He sighed and shook his head. Shoddy fucking craftsmanship, things breaking that fast. He’d help you find a decent place when your lease was up. 

As a friend. 

Because he could be friends with you. That would be fine. Encouraged by his meddling but well-meaning daughter who’d arranged this to begin with. Friends help friends apartment hunt. He could be your friend. 

He fucked his hand before he passed out, trying to think of anything besides grabbing you and kissing you at the bar as he did. 

“Hey Dad! How’d it go last night?” 

His eyes were still bleary as he read the text from his daughter the next morning. 

“Hey Baby Girl,” he wrote back, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. How was it already 10 a.m.? How was Sarah a morning person? She sure as shit didn’t get that from him. “Went fine. Your friend seems nice.” 

She wrote back immediately. 

“She’s the BEST. Seriously. Give her like 5 minutes and she’s going to show you the best food in town, she always found the coolest restaurants up here, places no one else from the office even knew existed.” 

Joel smiled a little at that. He’d heard a lot about you over the last few years, now that he thought about it. He wasn’t big on social media so he only ever saw pictures Sarah texted him - usually a selfie in front of some tourist attraction as she stuck her tongue out at him - so he’d never had a face to put to the stories. But you’d become an integral part of her life in Seattle. 

You’d started as a “cool new coworker.” Then you got a name. And then you just became a “we.” “We went to this awesome new restaurant.” “We checked out this concert last night.” “We decided to go up the Space Needle because screw it, why not be a tourist in your own city sometimes?” He never needed to ask who she meant, he knew she was talking about you. 

He just hadn’t known it was you. 

Which was another reason this was stupid. He could not even consider doing something with you, even just in his head, not when you were that close with his daughter. 

“You guys going to hang out again?” She asked. “I think you’d be friends!” 

Joel ground his teeth for a second. 

“Don’t need you to find me friends just because Uncle Tommy got married.” 

Sarah replied right away. 

“Well if you did it yourself maybe I wouldn’t,” she said. “And she needs friends, too. Plus this is really all for my benefit, if she can swing me coming to the new Austin office and y’all are friends, we can all just hang out together. Way easier to coordinate my schedule.” 

Joel laughed a little. 

“Going to help her with something at her apartment today,” he sent back. “We’ll see if she wants me around after that.” 

Joel managed to keep from going to your house the second he was dressed. This wasn’t a problem he’d had since he was a fucking teenager, obsessed with some girl from his bio class. He was looking at his watch every five minutes, hoping it was reasonable to leave his house and go to yours. 

He called it at 11:45. He figured he’d bring you lunch. You said you liked spicy food - the spicier the better - and if your garbage disposal was leaking, chances are you couldn’t cook much. You’d need to eat something. It was the polite thing to do, he reasoned. 

Joel went to his favorite taco truck and got a little bit of almost everything. It was way too much food for two people but fuck it, he didn’t care. As long as it was something you’d like, he really didn’t give a shit. 

You were in some kind of matching not quite sweatsuit when you opened the door, the tan fabric looking so fucking soft. 

“Hey!” You smiled broadly, like him coming over made your day. You looked at your phone screen. “Damn you really mean early afternoon don’t you?” 

He glanced at his watch. 12:23. 

“Figured you could use some lunch,” he held up the takeout bag. “Didn’t think you were able to cook much, disposal outta commission…” 

“Are you really bringing me food when you came over to do me a favor?” You asked, brows raised. He shrugged. “They weren’t kidding about that whole southern gentleman thing, were they?” 

“Gotta give you pretty things some reason to put up with us,” he smiled a little. You smiled back and held the door open for him. 

Your place was sparsely decorated but comfortable and it looked like you were just about unpacked. Joel set the bag of tacos on the small table off your kitchen and you staked your claim to the spiciest one. 

“If it’s too hot for you, no shame in tappin’ out,” he teased, unwrapping his own taco. 

“I eat men with low spice tolerance for breakfast,” you waved him off. “This’ll be cake.” 

You took a bite and chewed for a second before your eyes went wide. Joel tried not to laugh at you. 

“Holy shit,” you held a hand in front of your full mouth as you spoke, your eyes watering. “That’s so hot! How the fuck…” 

“Yeah, you northerners don’t know what you’re dealin’ with,” Joel smirked. “Welcome to the big leagues.” 

“Oh, it’s on now, Miller,” you said, wincing a little. “I’ve got this, you have no idea…” 

He laughed but you finished the taco, eyes watering and face sweating, the whole way. 

“Alright, think you’ve earned some handyman work,” he smiled a little. You chugged water, somehow managing to look good as you did. “Kitchen sink right?” 

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Run the water for longer than 30 seconds and it leaks like crazy…” 

He did as you said, opening the cabinet below. You had a pot inside to catch any stray water. He turned the faucet on and after less than a minute, water was gushing out from the pipe leading down to the disposal. He shut it off. 

“Good news is, it ain’t the disposal itself,” he said, putting his tools down beside the cabinet. “Looks like they just replaced it and did a shit job setting it up…” 

He got down on the ground, lying down so his upper body was in the cabinet just as you came and perched on the counter nearby, watching him closely. 

“Let me know what I can do to help,” you said. “I feel bad, you coming over, bringing me food, fixing my shit…” 

“Don’t,” he said, frowning up at the plumbing. “Got me outta my house… can you hand me the wrench that’s in the lower part of the tool kit, the adjustable one?” 

He heard you slide off the counter to the floor and rifle through his tools before handing him the wrench, your fingertips brushing his when you did. His heart sped up. Fuck this was stupid. 

You settled in on the floor near him, near enough that he’d feel your leg brush his when he adjusted while he worked. You asked him about his favorite band and he asked you about yours. About favorite foods. About the one place on Earth you’d go if money and time were no object. 

“Alright, think I’ve got it,” he said. “Do me a favor, turn the water on…” 

“You sure?” You asked, a frown in your voice. “Don’t you want to sit up first?” 

“I’m confident,” he smiled a little. 

“Alright, turning it on now.” 

And his confidence was correct. 

For a minute. 

And then it was like the floodgates opened and Joel was suddenly soaked. 

“Cut it!” 

You scrambled to obey as he got out from under the sink, dripping wet, shirt soaked. 

“Shit,” he looked down at himself. 

“I am so sorry!” Your hands were over your mouth, eyes wide. “One minute, let me grab you a towel…” 

You ran down the hall and came back with a small pile of towels handing them to him one by one. He started with himself and then put towels down below the sink. 

“I’m so sorry, Joel,” your eyes were so wide and earnest. 

“Not your fault,” he said, getting up, feeling like more than a bit of an idiot. “Your maintenance people just fucked something up big time…” 

“I have a washer and dryer,” you said quickly. “Let me wash that for you…” 

“Thanks,” he said and he peeled off the wet shirt and handed it to you. “Appreciate it…” 

He was so busy trying not to look at you that he hadn’t realized that you were staring at him, looking up him slowly, your lower lip in your teeth. Like you were interested in him, too. Like you were trying to keep your hands to yourself, too. 

Your eyes met his. This was stupid, this was very very stupid. You were standing close to him, so fucking close to him. 

“Joel,” you breathed. 

He was kissing you before he could talk himself out of it. 

*** 

You weren’t sure if he kissed you or you kissed him but you didn’t really care because fuck, he was touching you. Your arms went around his neck and his hands went to your hips, pulling your body flush against his as he all but devoured you. 

Like he’d done nothing but think of this since the night before, too. 

You were up for an hour after you got home, cursing your best friend for having such a hot dad and trying to not think about what would have happened if you’d dragged him into your apartment when he dropped you off as you ran your vibrator over your needy clit. 

Because how could you face Sarah if you’d fucked yourself to the thought of her dad? 

But you weren’t worrying about that now. 

Instead, you were leading Joel blindly through your apartment, to your bedroom. Your fingers tangled in his hair - wet from the explosive leak in your sink - as you kissed him. You pulled him against you as you sat back on your bed, crawling back toward the middle of it and tugging him along with you so he was hovering over you. 

“You sure…” he began but you nodded so fast that he didn’t even finish asking, just smiling for a second before kissing you again. 

His tongue was insistent inside your mouth, like he was trying to reach every part of you, but you liked it. The hot, aching need gathering in you liked it, liked that he was demanding and hungry for you to the point that, when his tongue slid back behind his own teeth it’s because he wanted to bite your lip with a growl. 

You squirmed out of the soft wrap that was covering your arms and he pulled at your tank top, peeling it away from you and leaving you in just your lacy bralette you liked to wear before you really got dressed for the day. His hand cupped your breast, palm brushing your firm nipple, and you moaned. Joel slipped his hand into the lace and touched the bare skin below and you involuntarily thrust your hips up toward him. He smiled against your mouth at that. 

“So eager,” he said, teasing. 

“We both have way too much on,” you panted against him. 

“Let me help you with that,” he slid his fingers below the band of the bralette and tugged it up and over your head, leaving you naked from the waist up. “Jesus Christ…” 

“What?” You asked, breathless. 

“And I thought you were gorgeous before,” his eyes went over you slowly, tracing the edges of you. “Fucking hell…” 

You smiled and arched into kissing him again, fumbling with the button and zipper on his jeans as you did. When you got his pants open, you slipped your hand inside his underwear, finding his thick, hard cock and stroking him. It was gentle at first, getting a feel for him and fuck he was hard as steel below your touch. He was also easily the biggest cock you’d ever held, so thick and long you knew you were going to be feeling him for hours after you were done. 

Not that you minded. You wanted nothing more than to walk around with a reminder of him inside you for a while. 

Joel’s hands ran over you until he reached your pants and underwear. He pulled them off together, pausing just before your panties would be so far down that they would expose your dripping, aching slit. He pulled his lips from you. 

“This really what you want?” He asked quietly, his eyes searching yours. 

“I’ve been wanting this since last night,” you smiled a little at him. 

“Fuck, I was hopin’ you’d say that.” 

He pulled what remained of your clothes off and cast it aside, nudging you down so you were flat on the bed. He ran his finger over your slit, dipping into you just enough to make your entrance try to grip him but not enough that it gave your body something to hold. You moaned. 

“Don’t worry, beautiful,” he pressed his finger against your clit, rubbing in circles, making you moan. “Gonna take real good care of you…” 

He trailed his finger back down and sank it into you as his thumb pressed against your clit, making your body go tight around him. You rocked your hips against him and arched your back and you heard the smile in his voice as your hands flew to your comforter, knotting in the fabric there. 

“There you go,” he said softly, kissing over your jaw to your throat, nipping and sucking you as he went. “Fuck you’re tight, need you to relax and come for me so I can get inside you…” 

He added another finger, hooking them up into you, pressing into your inner walls and making you get tense and tight before you came hard around him, pussy throbbing so hard it almost hurt. 

“You’re gonna feel so goddamn good,” he groaned as he slid his fingers from you. He hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his underwear and pulled them down with his jeans before he stroked himself, his fingers still slick with you as he did. 

“One sec,” you managed to find your voice and you stretched back to reach into your nightstand and grabbed a box of condoms. You needed to open it and pull one foil packet apart from the rest. “Sorry, haven’t needed one of these in a bit…” 

“Won’t hear me arguin’,” he half smiled at you. Fuck, that fucking dimple. You opened the condom and slid it on his tip, watching his chest heave as you did. You looked up at him through your eyelashes as you took his covered tip in your mouth, wrapping your lips around him and using them to unroll the condom the rest of the way onto his thick, hard length. “Fuck, beautiful, tryin’ to rush me through this?” 

You just sucked him for a moment, his head lodged at the back of your throat as you started to work his shaft with your mouth. His hand flew to your head, fingers twisting in your hair, as you went. He moaned as your tongue pressed against the underside of him before curling around his shaft. His grip on your hair tightened and you picked up the pace, all but choking yourself on his cock, not able to help yourself, until he pulled you back off him sharply, abruptly. 

“Really don’t want things to be over that fast,” he panted, tilting his head back toward the ceiling for a moment. “Fucking hell you’re good at that…” 

You smirked a little and he pushed you back down onto the bed before lining his cock up with your entrance. He paused and you moaned, rocking your hips against him, your whole body feeling like a spring that was coiled a bit too tight. His hands splayed wide over your thighs for a moment before sliding over your stomach, your breasts, back down again. 

“Still want this?” He asked, voice needy. 

“Want you,” you panted, nodding. “Need you, need you inside me…” 

“Good,” he said, his large hands spread on your thighs, holding you open for him, watching where he was entering you as his cock split you open. He moaned, panting for breath. “Fuck, gonna be addicted to you, just fuckin’ know it…” 

You pressed your hips up into him as he filled you totally, collapsing onto you as his hips met yours. He stilled in you, giving you a moment to adjust to the delicious stretch of him inside you. He was big enough that - if you hadn’t been so desperate for him, if he hadn’t already made you come once - you were sure that it would feel like he was breaking you in two. Like this, though, it was all pleasure with a hint of pain, just enough to make you feel so fucking full you thought you might burst with it. 

He started slowly but forcefully, dragging his cock back so only his head was inside you, his pace so slow that you felt his head on every ridge inside you. But he thrust himself back into you hard, like he couldn’t bear not feeling you again immediately, like being without you was almost painful. 

But he increased his pace, thrusting himself deep into you and pulling back before changing again, more rocking his hips down into you than fully thrusting into you. It meant he kept almost constant pressure on your clit, that the head of him was all but permanently against the spot inside that you immediately sought out whenever you used your vibrator. Your back arched into him and your pussy was so tight around him you were certain you couldn’t get any more wanting. 

“Fuck, need to feel you come while I’m inside you,” he managed, sliding his arms below you to press your bare chest against him. “Please, Beautiful, fuck, please come for me…” 

“Joel!” You cried out his name as you came around him and he fucked into you for another moment before you felt him throb inside as he spilled into the condom. 

He collapsed on top of you, panting for breath and you ran your hands over his broad back. After a minute, he kissed you gently and pulled himself from your wrung out body and lying beside you. 

“So,” he was still short of breath. “Got anythin’ around here I can come by and fix tomorrow?” 

You laughed a little, trying not to think of the fact that you’d just fucked your best friend’s dad. Trying not to think of the fact that there was no way this could be a one time thing. 

“Oh, I’m sure I can think of something,” you said. “I’m sure I can think of a lot of things.” 

[two-white-butterflies]

invisible string | m33 | part two

Description: You face a career-ending injury, that forces you to give up your childhood dream. 7 years later, you return to the paddocks as a guest - and as the Team Principal of Prema Racing. What happens when feelings are too difficult to hide?

Pairing: max verstappen/racer!reader

part one | part three

(2022, PARTY AT THE HORNER YACHT.)

"L/N is such an overrated driver, she had one of the most successful engines - anyone could've piloted that thing." Christian chuckled while pouring his guests another round of wine. Max absentmindedly laughed at the joke - he didn't really hear the joke but he figured that it must've been hilarious for all the people around the table to laugh.

Kimi Raikkonen's eyes narrowed - searching the boat for drivers who didn't agree with Horner's statement. "It takes a hundred female pilots to be one man." Horner shrugged and the table erupted into another chorus of laughed. This time, Max wasn't laughing.

itsmee_yn: If suddenly you forget me, do not look for me - for I shall have already forgotten about you. (Pablo Neruda)

912 comments 321,238 likes

oleole: this is totally about max's new interview 😭 - whispersme9: WHERE? - oleole: the one w/ daniel in the redbull yt

ynworld: Some people deserve to be in the past, mother. - itsmee_yn: totally !

selenagomez: ❤️

nicorosberg: Let's talk about it over coffee? - itsmee_yn: you only talk to me when there's tea :(( - - nicorosberg: You know me so well haha

maxverstappen1: What's going on?

192 comments 126,283 likes

ynandmaxuniverse: the hoes are fighting 😭

danielricciardo: I DID NOT START THIS. 🤲🏼 itsmee_yn liked this comment.

formulaonegirlie: ya'll imma need a full article on what the fuck is happening 😢 ALSO QUOTING TAYLOR SWIFT? WHEN SHE'S Y/N'S FAVORITE ARTIST AND FRIEND.

itsmee_yn: Had so much fun with this family ❤️ I'm legally changing my last name to Raikkonen.

912 comments 238,212 likes

kimimatiasraikkonen: 👍🏻 - itsmee_yn: that means so much to me king 👑

nicorosberg: and you didn't invite me? - itsmee_yn: WHO R U? - - nicorosberg: You're new best-friend since the last one got evicted. 🤯 - - - itsmee_yn: NAH

sebastianvettel: Let's catch up soon! - itsmee_yn: u r automatically invited to my house sir

nicorosberg's story

caption: sometimes i wonder if she really hates the man, or if she really hates how she loves him. 🤦🏼‍♂️

replies

itsmee_yn: UR A 37 YEAR OLD BULLY 💀 itsmee_yn: U SHOULD LITERALLY GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA nicorosberg: Why is your message blank? itsmee_yn: I'M TELLING KIMI THAT YOU'RE PUBLICALLY BULLYING HIS 1ST BORN DAUGHTER nicorosberg: publicly* itsmee_yn: GRAMMAR POLICE

itsmee_yn: 3 days before the Hungarian GP ✨

394 comments 458,238 likes

danielricciardo: You coming? - itsmee_yn: I have free tickets 😍

landonorris: OMG QUEEN WE HAVE TO MEET UP - itsmee_yn: ❤️

maxandynlover: Is the war over? CUZ... 😁

maxverstappen1: looking forward to it 😱

sabrinacarpenter: I was rooting for you sis 🙁 - ynprivateaccount: He has me weak on my knees 😭 - - sabrinaprivateaccount: old habits die hard 😢

(2022, HUNGARIAN GRAND PRIX)

"So, are you going to explain?" you placed both of your hands on your hips, staring at him with a glare that told him he wasn't going home scot free. "I talked to Kimi," he mumbled sheepishly. "I know that this isn't an explaination, but I want you to understand that I never meant to disrespect you in that way." he explained.

"Kimi told me what Christian said about you, and it wasn't funny. I shouldn't have laughed, I'm sorry." he apologized, taking another step closer to wrap you in an embrace - but you step away. All your life, you've been told that a woman didn't have room in Formula One - and to hear your best friend laugh at those jokes? It was worse than losing your career.

"Am I supposed to believe you?" you frowned, unable to comprehend that he was telling the truth. "You don't have to - but I'm sorry." he breathed with sincerity in his tone. You wanted to believe him, but you needed more convincing.

danielricciardo's story

caption: who u talking to? @itsmee_yn

replies itsmee_yn: secret no clue danielricciardo: 🤣

taglist: @laura-naruto-fan1998 @eternalharry @milaeth @msliz @lifesuckslife @ellamae021 @1-800-simpingcowbaby @trashcanrat @ccallistata @shouq @fdl305 @iloveyou3000morgan @georgeparisole @allenajade-ite @eternalharry @messwithtess21 @benbarneslut @withyoutilltheendofthismess @omgsuperstarg @stillbreathin @mishaandthebrits @lemonsinpanic @styles-sunflower @cassiesworldsworld @1655-1485 @hachrinnen @luanasrta @fdl305 @reidsworld @sarahedwards16 @peargasleeeee @imsorare @sinofwriting

COMMENT TO GET TAGGED

[wc-confessions]

warrior cats never calling their parents mom or dad contributes to this sense of like victorian royalty or conservative family dynamics that makes it impossible for me to take them seriously. why are 1 month old kittens calling their mom by her full legal name. when bluefur tells whitekit his mom died and he's like omg no :( Snowfur :( i just cannot take him seriously im sorry. let him say mommy!!!

.

[ratcash-wasgud]

this is my first time requesting here and im so nervous since the idea itself is so cheesy. could we have a modern au loser mizu who listens to "pasilyo" (a filipino song about wanting to get married so badly to someone; i highly recommend listening its so addicting!) and immediately thinks of her crush. thank you sm!

hel lovely!!!!! omg this is such a cute idea...it would be a shame if someone...have added some smut....hm...

anyways i kept this short, just to not overdo the vibe hihi

and you were right, it IS addicting. mwah.

Peonies

"I told you, I don't plan on doing that. Stop trying to play matchmaker, Mama." Mizu grumbles into the phone as she agressively spreads butter onto a slice of toast.

Her mother called her up again, which is always...well, a bother. She just nags her about settling down, even if she's still in college, finding a good boyfriend, getting married, having kids and basically giving up on everything she ever wanted. This is the reason she could never come out to her mother.

These talks always makes her hate the idea of marriage. Why would she ever tie herself down? Plus, it's a stupid old tradition. Plus, it's not even legal where she lives. It's just dumb to even think about it.

"No. I'm just busy." Mizu shrugs as she bites into the toast, still holding the phone up to her ear. Her mom keeps scolding her about ruining the family's name if she refuses to get married.

After about ten agonizing minutes, she hangs up. She lands on her bed with a groan. And just when she thinks she found peace, her phone lights up with a notification. It's a text from a groupchat called Tea Party with Eeyore, which has Ringo, Taigen, Akemi, and you in it.

ringo: omgomg look!

ringo: *a picture of you holding up a full tray of freshly baked pinagong.*

ringo: she helped me with my pastry of the week!!!

taigen: what even is that?

ringo: it's a type of fillipino bread! i learned it in baking class today.

you: we even made a whole playlist of fillipino songs to listen to while we bake :DDD

*you sent the link to the playlist.*

ringo: yup. we got into the mood, if you will

akemi: ringo, sweetie, that could have douple meanings

ringo: oh

The name is a dumb inside joke from that one time Akemi came up with the idea that having blue as a main color and being grumpy is enough for her to be just like Eeyore. She remembers you laughed so hard when she contined this line of thinking and matched Taigen with Tigger, because they're both annoying It's only because of that she doesn't mind this whole thing. She loves your laugh.

Mizu had a crush on you ever since she met you. It wasn't a hard crush to develop, honestly. You were kind for no reason, had eyes with stars in them, always full of energy while wearing the brightest smile she ever seen. You were just generally lovely. She was sure Taigen also had a crush on you at some point, which always irritated her, even if she never planned on making a move.

Mizu was content with the way things were. She was silently loving you from afar while you shined your bright light on her withouth even noticing. You made her happy if you didn't know.

She rolled over to her side, and tapped on the link you sent to the playlist. You had great taste in music, so if you were able to vive to these songs, they can't be that bad.

Then as the playlists starts playing, she hears a couple notes of an electric guitar, and she lightly shivers. Pasilyo was the first song. She never heard about it, but the melody quickly captured her.

She stared up the ceiling and she imagined you and Ringo listening to this song. She imagines you accidentaly spilling flour all over yourself, getting some on your face as you laugh, and she imagines her hand softly wiping it off. She imagines you sitting infront of the oven, staring at the growing pastry dough as it bakes, and having that bright and excited smile on your face when you succesfully decide that yes, it has gotten bigger since the last minute you checked. You'd look at her with big doe eyes when she tells you that it's time to do the dishes afterwards, singlaing how much you don't wanna. And of couse, she'd wash them instead of you, without hesitation. You'd hug her from behind as she does them, and hum the song in her ear, rocking your hips with hers playfully while your soft cheek is squished against her shoulder.

She sudenly wonders if that's how married life would look like with you. Damn, Mama has gotten into her head. But she doesn't mind it if it's like this. Would getting married really be horrible if it was with you? She decies on a firm no. You'd be the loveliest bride.

A bride she'd love to tie herself down to.

You'd stand there, at the altar, wearing all white and holding a big bouquet of daisies, camellias and lakspurs...maybe even peonies.

Yeah...definetly peonies. There would also be peony petals on the floor, scattered across, and one in your hair. Behind your ear...or one holding up your veil.

You'd smile when you see her on the other end of the aisle, like you see your future in her eyes. Your eyes would focus only on her, and your hand would squeeze hers for comfort as she says her vows. She'd kiss you with all her might in that moment. She'd pick you up and carry you away while you both laugh into eachothers faces.

She'd wake up to you every day of the week. To your soft cheeks squiched up against the pillow, your hand around her, and your breathing tickling her skin. She'd never want to get out of bed. She'd wake up hours earlier just to cuddle your sleeping form.

When you'd stir, you'd look into her eyes with your still hazy ones, and plant a good morning kiss on her forehead. In return Mizu would kiss your cheek, then your nose, then your jaw...then your neck, then your chest...

She'd put her hands on your breats, softly squeezing them as she teases them through your thin pajama top. She'd want it to be casual, domesticated, but still so, so exciting to make love to you.

She'd slowly get on top of you, and get lost in the way you're looking up at her. She'd slowly lift your top, and press her knee between your legs. Oh, how'd you tremble. You'd look up at her all needy, she'd have no option but to help you.

Her tongue would softly curcple your nipple, dry lips wrapping around it to trap it, all for herself. Her hand would slowly find it's way inside your pajama pants, long fingers sliding through your lips. She'd toy with you slick, because she knows it's there because of her. She'd bathe in the feeling of your clit pulsing for her before sliding her fingers inside, massagnig your inner walls. She'd coo in your ear, because you're just so precious when she's inside you like this. You turn into a ragdoll, and you can't do anything but whimper for her. You'd depend on her, especially in moments like this.

She'd give it to you every morning. She'd never hesitate to obey every command your body gives her.

Then she'd watch you make breakfast with your ears still red from getting taken by her so early in the morning. You'd sit in her lap while you'd eat breakfast. She'd feed you pieces of her bacon, and you'd give her bites from your egg. She'd give small pecks to your soft lips, to kiss away droplets of coffee.

She gets torn out from her daydream though by another text. She looks at it through half lidden eyes.

ringo: we made too many :(

taigen: that's what u get for always going overboard

you: mizu !!!

you: do you want some? i think you'd love pinagong!!!

Mizu smiles to herself as she reads the text. Maybe she isn't fine with how things are right now. Maybe she does need to make a move.

mizu: yeah

mizu: omw.

Maybe...she could stop by the flower shop and get some peonies.

Just maybe.

[littleskeletonprincessss]

step bro jschlatt?

YES OMG my first request! Thank you so much, anon!18+ (Or what ever your legal adult age is below the cut!)Disclaimer: I am a pathetic virgin so this probs won't be good. (I'm figuring you'd wanted smut...) so sorry if i mistook that.

When your mom first introduced you to Jeremy and his son, you were polite, of course. This guy made your mom happy, and you weren't going to do anything to ruin that, God knows your dad made her upset enough before he did you all a favor and left. That's not to say that it was easy, considering how obnoxious Schlatt was.

Schlatt made it painfully obvious he wanted to be anywhere but at that dinner. The entire time, he was fixated on his phone, not paying attention to anything being said, or the glares his dad kept shooting him, and undressing every waitress that passed by with his eyes. What a dick. He was even so full of himself to not go by his first name.

A few months down the road after Jeremy proposed, you and Schlatt were forced to spend more time with each other, being the maid of honor and best man. Venue tours, tastings, wedding details to be discussed in your new family chat, Schlatt of course only chiming in when he was forced.

Walking down the aisle next to Schlatt was the closest you two had ever been, stiffly linking your arm with his, cheesy picture day smiles stapled to your lips, pretending like you didn't hate each other.

As the years went on, you relationship with Schlatt changed. You still didn't like each other, but he talked more at family dinners and didn't seem like he wanted to off himself anytime you had to go somewhere together.

The downside of Schlatt getting more comfortable in the new family dynamic was now you argued like brother and sister.

You were watching a movie by yourself one day, lounging on the couch in the living room when Schlatt walked in, stood in your way for a minute, and then when you asked him to move, proceeded to halfway sit on you.

"Schlatt get off of me!"

"I'm not on you."

"Yes you are asshole, now get off." You told him, shoving and kicking him off you.

"Kids, please you're both in college. You don't need to argue like this all the time anymore." Jeremy shouted from the kitchen.

"But Dad he started it!" you cried. Schlatt just scoffed.

"I did not, the little princess is taking up the entire couch."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Y/N, Jonathan, so help me I hear one more word from either of you you're both grounded." your mom cut in.

Glaring at Schlatt you sat up so your feet weren't taking up so much space as Schlatt moved to the other end of the couch.

"You guys will have the house to yourselves tomorrow, your mom and I are going out of town to visit a friend, and we won't be back until Saturday night." Jeremy informed.

"Fine."

"Alright."

Answering disinterestedly, you and Schlatt kept watching the movie.

After school the next day, you waited for Schlatt at his truck. It'd been a long day, and you were getting a headache; you just wanted to go home and sleep.

"Alright Ted, I'll see you later. Yeah, 7:00 sounds great, see you then." You heard Schlatt speak into his phone, finally walking up.

"You going out tonight?" You asked, hopeful that you'd have the house to yourself for a nice, quiet night.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you? No, Ted and Charlie are coming over." Schlatt answered, dropping into the drivers seat next to you and starting the car.

"Do they have to come over tonight? I was kind of just wanting a quiet night, go to bed early." You knew how loud and annoying Schlatt could get with his friends.

"It's not my fault you're fucking lame, princess. The world doesn't revolve around you." He answers, looking over his shoulder to back out, hand on the back of your head rest.

"Fine, Schlatt." You rested your head on the window, not in any mood to argue.

After getting home you dumped your bag on the kitchen table before heading to the medicine cabinet searching for ibuprofen.

Popping a few you headed upstairs to your room.

"I'm heading to bed early. Please try to be quiet with the guys tonight." you practically begged.

"You feeling okay?" Schlatt asked, seeing you take the medicine.

"I'm fine, just a headache. Goodnight."

You passed out pretty quickly, waking up a few hours later, your stomach growling.

Hearing the strangely quiet house you walked downstairs to find something to eat, seeing Schlatt sitting on the couch by himself, scrolling through his phone with some show playing in the background.

Noticing the time, you figured that his friends would be here by now.

"Where are Ted and Charlie?" you asked, voice rough from sleep, startling Schlatt.

"I told them I changed my mind." Schlatt said plainly. You wondered if it had anything to do with your headache.

"Too bad." you said, rubbing your eyes.

"I ordered a pizza, there's some left if you're hungry." Schlatt called, looking over his shoulder at you.

"Oh. Thank you." you whispered, seeing the pizza box sitting on the counter.

Walking over and opening the cardboard lid you saw your favorite toppings. Schlatt was always sure to make fun of your tastes in pizza whenever you had it as a family, so you were surprised. Nevertheless, you took a slice, quickly eating it before you took another piece and walked into the family room, sitting by Schlatt on the couch.

"What are you watching?"

"Hm? Oh. I'm not sure, haven't really been paying attention.

"Mmm."

You sat in a strange silence. Not the usual comfortable 'We're-not-firends-but-we're-forced-to-be-around-each-other-so-we'll-deal-with-it' kind. This was...awkward.

"So-- how are you feeling, princess?"

Schlatt must have noticed it too.

"Oh, um. Better. Thanks."

"Good."

Back to silence.

"Schlatt?"

"Hmm?"

"What made you change your mind about tonight?"

Your step-brother was quiet for a moment.

"I figured you'd wanted you sleep. You seemed quiet on the ride home and then you took the medicine-- I just thought it'd be best if it was just us tonight."

"Thank you, Schlatt. That was --sweet --of you."

This was different. This was the nicest you had ever been to each other.

"You're welcome, (y/n)."

Another heavy silence.

"This is weird right?" You asked.

"Oh, so fucking. I'm glad you caught that too."

Smiling you reach over and steal the remote off the couch arm next to him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing with that?" Schlatt moved to take it back.

"I wanna watch a movie and you're not even paying attention to the TV right now."

"Was too."

"Was not."

"Brat."

"Asshole."

Schlatt smiled towards to you. This was normal. This was how it was supposed to be.

"Fine, just don't put anything stupid on."

"I would never do such a thing. Alexa play Twilight Breaking Dawn." you say, looking straight into his eyes and trying not to laugh.

‐----------------

"Shut the fuck up it was all fake?"

"A vision of the future, yes."

"Unbelievable. This series actually puts in a good scene and that's what they do with it? Take it all back?"

You and Schlatt had been making fun of the movie the entire time, it was the most fun you'd ever had with him. You actually had close to the same humor and were getting along pretty well.

Calming down from you laughing fit you let out a big sigh as you lean your head back.

"Why don't you think we've ever gotten along?" You ask, turning to face him.

"What do you mean?" He asks, leaning back into the couch.

"You've always seemed like you hated me or something. Like I was this big inconvenience that came into your life."

"I never hated you, princess. I don't know, I think it might have just been hard, you know? Mom had been gone for what seemed like 10 minutes and all of a sudden Dad is dating this woman and I have a new step-sister. It kinda seemed like he'd forgotten her and our family."

"I've never thought about that."

You knew that Schlatt's mom hadn't been gone long before Jeremy was out on the dating scene again, only a few months really, but you didn't think about the fact that Schlatt actually loved his mom, had a good relationship with her. It wasn't like you, who hadn't cared about your other biological parent.

"I'm sorry, Schlatt." You said, putting your hand on his shoulder and squeezing.

"I'm sorry I made you feel that way all this time, Princess."

Schlatt looks over at you, and you can tell he's the most sincere you've ever heard him speak. And in that moment, you realized how bright his eyes were when he was happy, more of an amber instead of the chocolate brown you'd originally thought. His slight smile, the scar on his strong chin you'd learned he'd gotten from playing baseball when he was little. So many little things you were too busy hating him to notice before. And then, you noticed how close you were sitting, bodies turned towards each other, his arm across the back of the couch behind you. You didn't have time to register any of it before you noticed his lips on yours.

The kiss was warm, gave you chills, firm, soft, hungry, caring, everything it could be all at once. And wrong. But god, it felt so right. Your eyes fluttered shut --

And then it ended. Schlatt pulled away, and scooted as far back from you as he possibly could.

"(y/n) I am so sorry. I kind of just got caught up in the moment, and you were sitting there and you had that sweet look on your face that you always have, and your hair looked so good, and your lips looked so soft and -- God i'm so stupid. I'm so so sorry--"

"Schlatt--"

"I know, it shouldn't have happened. It just felt right in the moment and I--"

"Would you shut the hell up? I'm not mad."

"You're not?"

"Listen, yeah the situation isn't exactly ideal. But it's not like you're actually my brother."

Schlatt scooted the tiniest bit closer to you. You could see the little hamster wheel in his head spinning, calculating every little move he did.

You decided to test the waters and scooted closer to him.

His hand inches closer until it's resting on your thigh, but once it is he can't keep them off you. You're pulled into him, one hand in your hair, the other pulling your leg over his before sliding it up your back. His lips are fighting hard for dominance over yours, and just for good measure his tongue decided to come out to play too.

"Schlatt-" you whisper a moan. Pulling away to catch your breath, your head leans back and Schlatt moved to suck on your neck. Catching his lips in a kiss you mumble out a soft admonition.

"No hickeys."

"Wanna mark you up baby." Schlatt growls out.

"But what would mom and dad say?" You weren't necessarily the most popular with guys at school and you'd never brought a guy over.

Groaning Schlatt moves away from your neck.

"I know you're right, but, fuck Princess." He looks all over your flushed face, before racing his eyes over the rest of your body, his once shining amber eyes dark, pupils blown wide with lust.

Smiling you press your lips against his again, craving something you'd gone so long without.

You can feel Schlatt smile as his hands trail down your back before sneaking past your shirt, tickling the small of your back.

It wasn't enough for you. Reaching down you pull your shirt over your head and hear a repressed moan from the man sitting beneath you.

"You're perfect." Schlatt breathes before leaning in and kissing your bare chest, thanks to your decision to forego a bra during your nap.

Tangling your fingers in his thick chocolate curls you tug, trying to assert the slightest bit of dominance.

Schlatts fingers dug hard into your hips, holding you tight to his lap, making sure you could feel what you were doing to him between your thighs.

Rocking slightly seeking for any kind of friction, you're almost immediately pushed on your back, lying with Schlatt hovering over you. His body was so warm...so hard against yours....

"Gotta be careful, Princess," Schlatt pulled you from your thoughts. Leaning down to brush his lips against yours, he mumbles a quiet "or I won't be able to stop myself from fucking you right here."

This was it, there was no coming back from what had been said. Both of you knew that, and something told you neither of you cared in the slightest.

"Then don't." You leaned up, pressing your lips fully against his, trying to show him how much you needed him.

Schlatt returned the kiss with the same if not more enthusiasm, before lifting himself slightly to take his shirt off. He didn't outwardly show it, but Schlatt was built like a mountain, strong and broad, and no one had ever looked so good to you.

Leaning back down to kiss you, you place your hands on his mutton chops, slightly scratching his cheeks with your nails as his hands travel from your neck down your chest, stopping to slightly tease your hardening nipples, drawing a whine from you.

"Aww, does my baby like that?" Schlatt moves to your neck again leaving hot open mouthed kisses.

"Mmhmm," you babble, your pleasure making your brain foggy. You can feel Schlatt chuckle against your throat.

Giving one of your nipples another quick flick, Schlatts longer fingers tickle down your stomach, stopping to run along the waist band of your leggings, which you'd decided were too hot to wear any longer

"Please take them off, Schlatt."

"Please what, Princess?"

"P-Please, Daddy."

"Good Girl" Schlatt purred into your ear before sitting up to slide your leggings down your legs.

Schlatt watched with wide eyes, taking in every inch of revealed skin.

"God, baby. These legs are going to be the death of me."

"Oh. Shame, I thought maybe it'd be drowning between them." You whispered.

And then immediately cringed.

Schlatt barked out a laugh. "That was the lamest thing you've ever said, and you've said a lot."

"Fuck you."

"Oh, no, Princess. I think you've got that confused." Schlatt leaned back in once your leggings were off and captured you lips with his, letting his tongue explore every inch of your mouth.

God was he a good kisser. You were already nearly out of breath and moaning into his mouth. Your fingernails were digging into his back, holding on for dear life, too out of it to even think that you might be hurting him.

But as good as this was, you knew you needed more. Needed him, all of him on top of you, inside you, under you. Wrapping your legs around his waist, you tried your best to push his sweatpants down.

Schlatt took your hint and pushed his sweats and boxers down, letting his dick spring out, harder than anything you'd ever seen and perfectly curved.

His kisses became desparate before moving to your neck, sucking hickeys before you could stop him as he ripped your damp thong off.

Breaking the kiss you look down in surprise. "Schlatt!"

"Shut up i'll buy you a new one I promise." He barely spit out before kissing you again.

Letting his tip kiss against you your back arched from the stimulation you'd been craving.

"Good baby girl. You like that, huh? Like feeling Daddy's cock? God it's barely touching you, you little slut."

All you could do was nod, who the fuck knows what he was saying to you.

Kneeling, Schlatt looked down, watching him push further into you.

"Schlatt-"

"Shh. It's okay honey. I know, I know it feels so good, doesn't it? Now open that gorgeous little mouth for me."

Letting you mouth fall open Schlatt pushed in two of his fingers, making you gag.

"Oh, are they too much for you, sweetie? Are my fingers too thick for you? Jesus Christ how are you ever going to take my cock? Come on, baby, you need your practice. Suck on your Daddy's fingers."

Taking a deep breath you shut your eyes, doing your best to focus on sucking on his fingers, pressing your tongue against them.

"That's it, angel."

Once he had you preoccupied he trailed his other hand across your thigh. "I'm going to push all the way in now, Angeltits. It's going to hurt, but I'll go fast I promise."

Nodding against his fingers, Schlatt pulls them from your mouth, now covered in your saliva and placing both of his hands against your hips before pushing the rest of his length in.

Throwing your head back you gasped, hot tears falling from your eyes and a sharp stinging taking over.

Schlatt immediately leaned down, hands coming up to hold yours against the bed on either side of your head, kissing your tear streaked cheeks before whispering reassurances against your lips

"Shh. I know baby, I know. Just hold on, it's going to feel so much better, I promise. I'm gonna take care of you honey. That's my girl. So good for me, aren't you Princess? Just hold on to me baby."

"It's so much, Daddy."

"I know. Don't worry that's all you'll have to take until your ready, yeah? M'right here my love."

Hearing the sweet words fall from his lips another round of tears form in your eyes for an entirely different reason. Wrapping your arms around his neck you pull him close to you, chests pressed against chests, wanting him as close as possible to you.

After a while and the paid had faded you started to feel how full you were and how nice it felt. It was like a piece you never realized was missing was put back in place and you were whole.

Kissing Schlatt's cheek you nod, silently asking him to keep going.

"Yeah?"

"Mm. Slowly?"

"Of course, baby. Anything you want."

Schlatt slowly starts to move back and forth, inch by inch, letting you get used to the feeling. He knew this was your first time, and he was going to make sure that it was the greatest experience for you.

And what an experience you were having. You didn't even know something could make you feel as good as you felt right now. Even when you would try to take care of yourself, it was nothing compared to this. The feeling was making you arch your back, crane your neck, grip the cushion beneath you, doing anything you could to just--let out this feeling.

"Shit-" You let out.

"Feeling okay, sweet cheeks?" Schlatt smirked out.

A moan chased away whatever you were about to say as he hit a spot inside you. A spot that had your toes curling.

"I'll take that as a yes."

Once Schlatt reached a steady pace of moving in and out of you, his hand moved between your legs, gently brushing against you.

"So wet, baby."

He continued his ministrations and hip movements, going faster and faster and each thrust he seemed to press his hips harder against you, like he was trying to break through a brick wall that would let his dick claim more of you.

You had no clue how much time had passed, but it was enough that you were both covered in a thin sheen of sweat, and you could feel it running down your forehead and down your neck. Your hair was curling around the edges, and you felt sticky. Looking up at Schlatt took your breath away, no longer seeing your step brother but an Adonis above you, his thick hair damp and pressed against his forehead, his eyes closed in pleasure and mouth hung open as if in silent prayer.

You began to feel a burning between your legs, that delicious pressure building and buliding in your tummy.

"Sch-Schlatt."

Schlatt could only nod quickly, falling to stick his face in your neck, breathing in your scent and panting hard against you.

"Come on, baby. Let go. I"m right here, right there with you."

A few more thrusts had you seeing a bright lights and your ears ringing as you sank your teeth into Schlatt's shoulder. You could feel Schlatt groan and felt his warm cum spill inside of you in thick spurts.

Lounging in the afterglow, both of you panting, Schlatt leaned his neck up to place a long, slow kiss against your lips.

"You did so good for me, Princess. I'm so proud."

Giving Schlatt a sweet smile you kissed him again, your eyes growing heavy with exhaustion.

Slowly sliding out of you to avoid any more stimulation, Schlatt leaned down to pull up his boxers, kicking off his sweats and heading to the guest bathroom and bringing back a warm damp washcloth.

"Here we go, baby. Come on, lets get you cleaned up."

Gently wiping your thighs clean, Schlatt took care of you, making as much of the sticky feeling as he could go away.

Putting the washcloth on the coffee table, he helped you pull on his sweats and letting his shirt fall over your head, picking you up and letting you wrap around him like a koala before heading to the stairs to his room.

Looking over his shoulder you see the mess the two of you had made, washcloth on the coffee table, your clothes strewn about, cushions all over the place and the large wet spot where you'd been laying.

"The couch-" you mumbled tiredly.

Schlatt turned to see what you were talking about before giving you a sweet smile and kissing your temple.

"It's okay sweetheart. We can clean up tomorrow before our parents get home. But right now we have to go to bed, okay?"

Nuzzling into his neck you place soft kisses in agreement and let your eyes fall shut.

You were already half asleep when Schlatt lied you down and pulled the blanket over both of you before pulling you in to his chest and letting you turn to rest your head on his chest, letting his quick heartbeat and fingers softly grazing down your arm lull you to sleep.

"Love you, Princess." You heard him whisper before you fell asleep, thinking about your step brother.

--------------------------------------

AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH OKAY I FINISHED! i'M SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG AND IT WAS PROBABLY SO RUSHED AND FAST BUT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA.

[sitp-recs]

Hey do you have any Drarry fic recs which basically have Draco completely changing in 8th year/after the war, like he's dyed his hair and has tattoos and just has become more friendly and changed and Harry basically loses his mind? Kinda tired of the grovelling Draco or animosity fics atp.. Thanks :)

Hi anon! Omg yes, love me confused Harry losing his mind over a changed, hotter and confident Draco. This trope always delivers even when Draco doesn’t go through major physical changes (I love it when he gets extra though 🤌🏼). I have a few recs but they’re all post-Hogwarts, I hope they still work for you!

Enjoy the Silence by @shealwaysreads (M, 3.4k)

Draco stops speaking, gets some tattoos, and discovers that Harry’s happy to be quiet with him.

Under Your Skin by p1013 (E, 4k)

He initials another section and flips the page. Being a junior Auror is a lot more grunt work than he expected, and the paperwork isn't even the worst of it. He's also managed to catch intake duty. It's getting close to 2 AM, there hasn't been a single arrest brought in tonight, and he's still got another six hours before his shift is over. Rubbing a hand over his face, he prays for something, anything, to make the interminable evening better.

The Study of Change by p1013 (M, 4.3k)

Harry's going to hell. He's going to hell immediately. Even with all of the good he's done in his life, he's never going to overcome the impure thoughts racing through his head at the sight of Draco Malfoy looking like an academic wet dream in a room full of barely legal adults.

Starstruck by phrynne (E, 4.5k)

Yeah, Malfoy has pink hair. Or sort of. Half of his hair is shaved short and dyed an aggressive pink. The other half is still white-blond, a strand falling over his right eye, only the left side of his face visible at all times. He turns it slightly and spots me beyond the moving bodies. He doesn’t stop dancing, a smile plays on his lips. This time I don’t look away like I used to when all this began.

Sex on Legs in Six-Inch Heels by @tessacrowley (E, 9.6k)

Draco Malfoy is a brilliant freelance cursebreaker and the only one who can help the Department of Magical Law Enforcement with a very dangerous case, but more importantly, he's wearing six-inch heels, and Harry cannot handle it, he really just can't.

Dream by the Fire by GallifreyisBurning (M, 11k)

When Draco Malfoy resurfaces in England after eight years abroad—tattooed, pierced, and wanting to take over a corner of Harry's coffee shop to work on a writing project—Harry can't help but be intrigued. Where has he been? What is he working on? Why here? And why does he have to look so stupidly hot with all those tattoos?

Cold Like Fire by QueenofThyme (M, 12k)

Head Auror Harry Potter had no problem with mandatory consent training for his team. He’d actually been looking forward to it, that is, until he discovered who the teacher was. Now, he had no idea how he was going to get through the training without throwing a hex at Draco Malfoy. Or a punch.

In the Shape of Things to Come by @academicdisasterfic (E, 15k)

Existential angst and chronic boredom are plaguing Harry Potter in his cushy post-war life. However, a chance encounter with a tattooed, pierced, disgruntled Draco Malfoy in the middle of Muggle Camden seems to spark something in Harry again—and he never could stay away from Malfoy.

We Might Be Too Old for a Bildungsroman by @wellhalesbells (T, 21k)

Harry finds something he’s been looking for since the war’s end. Admittedly, the packaging’s a bit odder than he expected.

Ink (My Skin With Your Name) by Kandakicksass (M, 22k)

Several years after the war, an ostracized Draco Malfoy covers himself in tattoos, becomes best friends with a muggle, and debates abandoning magical society entirely to work in a tattoo shop. All in all, he's having a hell of a time trying to figure out who he is and what he wants to do with his life. The last thing he needs is to run into Harry Potter, who seems intent on becoming his friend, even if he has to get a lot of ink to do it.

All Bets Are Off by dualwieldteacup (M, 31k)

Harry Potter's latest security assignment brings him to Las Vegas for the International Wizarding Casino World Series. At a magic underwater hotel, he is tasked with guarding the legendary and mysterious gambler known as Snake Eyes. The stakes are high when both Galleons and emotions are involved. Not to mention peacock pool floats, secret pizza, and most importantly of all, second chances.

[f10werfae]

My wife is fine, thanks

pairing: Husband!Henry x Wife!Reader

summary: I LOVE YOUR HENRY CAVILL POSTS!So can I request an Instagram blurb for wife!reader (obv for Henry Cavill), where fans react to wife!reader and henry having an age gap (10+). (requested by @chaotictwig)

requests are open/likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated♥️

Full M.List, Henry M.List, Taglist Form

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

@/hellostarsky: Can everyone stop hating on Henry, so what if he’s 39 and she’s 28?? They’re both legal consenting adults, he did not groom her and treats her with the utmost respect. She does not need the stress of you guys while she’s pregnant with their baby.

@/caviilll: I don’t care what anyone says, Y/n and Henry are so mf cute. The way he spoils the hell out of her and just always holds her close♥️♥️ If only

-

@/relatimefr: Ok but their age gap is so weird, she was being born when he was like 11 wtf

>> @/Prettyprincess: They lit started dating at 24 and 35, you can calm yourself honey, they did nothing but fall in love☠️

-

@/Henry Cavill: Happy 29th birthday to my lovely beautiful wife, the future mother to our baby(ies) and my best friend in life. Glad to be doing life with you and no one else, can’t wait to see you when I get home tonight, both you and baby Cavill ♥️

-

@/Holymacsncheese: But their age gap suits them sm, Y/n makes sure Henry keeps up to date with all the new things today, and he grounds her to a sense of comfort and love. They compliment each other so much, match made in heaven I say

-

@/Polypockets: yall acting as if he groomed her straight out of highschool, they literally met on set where she had to play his wife, yall just jealous cause it ain’t you 💋

-

@/Y/nCavill: 35 Weeks today! Baby Cavill is now officially nearly here, unfortunately i’ll be taking a break from future projects for some time, I want to finally settle down and accept my new role. The role of motherhood. Hope you all understand, Y/n xx

>> @/HenryCavill: I’d like to follow this by saying that, after this new movie I will also be taking a break for the next year or so, who knows. Just would like you all to know that I appreciate those who support us wholeheartedly, and I can’t wait to start this new journey!

-

@/User19204726: That picture of Henry showing Y/n new dresses in the maternity shop while she’s sitting watching him, is the cutest thing. She was too tired to walk about the shop, so he literally went around and got everything to have a mini fashion show for her

-

@/pumpituplease: God bless Y/n for posting pictures of Henry painting the nursery, that man is giving real dilf material now, and we can’t forget about the milf Y/n. Sexiest Power couple for realsies

-

@/geraltlovers: Omg I thought we were over the whole age gap thing?! Why the hell are papers still calling him all these names and calling Y/n naïve?? They lit have a child together, get a grip

>> @/petalsforpeps: omg ikr, like get over yourselves because they don’t care about what you have to say

-

@/Y/nCavill: Henry and I would like to welcome baby Penelope into the world, she arrived on September 25th and is currently rocking it! No pictures will be shared, hope you all understand that ♥️

-

@/cpatainsy: HENRY IS A DAD GUYS OMG, HIM AND Y/N’S BABY IS GONNA ACTUALLY SLAY THE REAL WORLD. WE BETTER PREPARE OURSELVES!!

-

@/rainbowsncakes: Omg that photo Y/n posted with Henry’s back to the camera, you can just see the tiniest bit of baby Penelope’s hair out of the corner of his arm, AND ITS DARK HAIR, SHE GOT HIS CURLY HAIR I BET

>> @/lotsoocks: YOO ACCORDING TO HENRY’S MUM’S POST, BABY PENELOPE CAME OUT ROUGHLY THE SAME SIZE HENRY WAS WHEN HE WAS BORN. POOR Y/N

>>> @Y/nCavill: NO BECAUSE THIS IS TRUE, 38 HOURS OF PURE HARD LABOUR. Thankful for all the nurses, doctors, midwives and especially my bear of a husband who didn’t leave me alone once♥️

-

@/user823783: Fuck this family bullshit, when is Henry gonna back to our screens?!

>> @/HenryCavill: i’m sorry but I don’t tolerate anyone speaking about my family like that, a fan of mine wouldn’t speak of people I love like that. We want to live a peaceful life full of love, if you can’t respect that then i’m glad i’m not back to work yet. Family comes first.

-

@/HenryCavill: I love my wife @Y/nCavill and my gorgeous daughter Penelope, the exact double of me I must say (sorry babe) I also love the people who support me, and it hurts me to say that it’s a minority of you that seem to keep harassing my family. Please respect our lives, not only has our relationship been through enough, but our privacy has been violated more than enough times. Enough is enough.

>> @/jellyjumpbean: What sorta losers are still hating on them?! Can we please grow up and stop being delusional, the man is happy with his own family now. None of then deserve this abuse and especially not little Penelope who hasn’t even been here 5 minutes

-

@/Dcornarvel: Y/n is absolutely growing post pregnancy, you would never guess that she’s edging 30, Henry is one lucky man for real

>> @/HenryCavill: That I am. Thank you very much my friend ♥️

———

Taglist Tags (Form is up there^^): @fdl305 @alexxavicry @bookfrog242 @alina02 @aerangi @i-beg-your-pardon-laufeyson @sparklemarysunshine @oliviah-25 @mischiefhasbeenmanaged @nikkitc0703 @misshale21 @hallecarey1 @girl-of-multi-fandoms @mansaaay @princess-paramour @stormcloudss @uwiuwi @marvelgurl @taramaria @mysticfalls01 @kebabgirl67 @athena-roy @tinyelfperson @madebylilly @dumb-fawkin-bitch @vrittivsanghavi @beck07990 @kimhtoo17 @thereisa8ella @pandaxnienke @marvelstarker-mha98

[queerprayers]

hello, i've recently come across more accounts similar to yours and they have really helped me feel closer to God. so for starters i appreciate you and everything you have to say is very insightful. i am new to Christianity (looking into Catholicism) but i have struggled with my relationship with God for a few years as i am queer. Anyway, all of that is not entirely related to my question. as i wasn't raised religious, i have done some things that i am not proud of that i hope won't ruin God's love for me. for example, i have said stuff that could be considered "taking the Lord's name in vain" such as saying "oh my god", "jesus christ", etc. do you think that is actually taking his name in vain? truthfully, i have been trying to cut down regardless as i love God and mean no offense but it's hard as i have said words carelessly in the past. i apologize for the longer text!!

Welcome, beloved, I'm so glad you're here!

This is always such an interesting topic and I'm sure I won't do it justice, but I'll try to answer your question. The third commandment has been oversimplified for a lot of Christians, and I do think we should take it seriously—but when we caught up with people saying "omg" casually, we miss a lot.

"Taking the Lord's name in vain" can encompass quite a bit: cursing God, swearing on God falsely (in the sense of making promises you don't keep), treating sacred things with disrespect, using God for your own gain, using God to justify evil actions, claiming God's name for harmful theologies—really anything that profanes/using hollowly/for profit the name/essence/qualities of God. "Name" is more than language—it's a presence. So is the third commandment addressing casualness with religious language? I don't think that's what it's specifically interested in, and because the Ten Commandments functioned communally/legally more than personally I'm inclined to say it's concerned more with the promise type of swearing and temple rituals, but I do think the philosophies behind these large things can be brought down to the personal language level, especially for those of us who aren't ancient Israelites.

An old anecdote from my church is that for years they had a plain wooden cross in the sanctuary, but my childhood pastor had a crucifix put up. (This was before I was born, and I'm so thankful I got to grow up with a full, embodied cross rather than an empty one.) An old lady stopped in her tracks that morning, staring up above the altar, and said "Oh my god." The pastor said, "That's right, he is." Besides being used to poke fun at this lady (who had probably never encountered traditional art of the crucifixion in her rural Protestant life) and as a justification for having a crucifix (to more fully confront God), it was also used by my mother to explain why we weren't allowed to say "oh my god" unless the situation necessitated it.

This has made me rethink some of the things I say—and I think there are lines here that we all have to draw. Many exclamations/curses are religious in nature (like damn or hell), and should we only say those when we mean the full essence of the thing? My mother thinks so, and I've gone back and forth. I think what we say matters, and carelessness should never be our framework. I also know that I don't get offended when people say things like "oh my god"—and I've definitely said it before, in way less necessary situations than confronting him bleeding.

When we look at all the things the third commandment can encompass, exclamatory swearing is surely at the bottom of the list in terms of what matters interpersonally and religiously. The megachurch pastor who uses God to sell things and the abuser who uses religion as an excuse are much more relevant to me. This is about your attitude toward your faith, how you want your language to reflect that, and how seriously you take words that are really only translations of a human approximation of a theological truth.

A line I draw is "Jesus" vs. "God"—one is the personal name of my god, and one is more of a title. I don't swear using Jesus's name, but I've dropped an "oh my god." I'm also more likely to use religious exclamations in the face of things I genuinely care about—I'll say "oh my god" to something beautiful but am more likely to say "shit" when I drop something. Is this all arbitrary? Of course! But the language we treasure and the language we're less careful with always is.

I won't tell you where to draw your lines, but I will say the best way to approach any of it is to notice these things—which you definitely are! Whether or not we end up changing something, it's always good to be aware of what we say and how it could affect us. So ask those questions, think through it all. Don't let casualness make you forget the enormity of what we're talking about when we say "God," but also, turn to God with every emotion and in every situation. Don't bring religion into everything because you're being careless—do it because it's where you and the universe touch.

To answer another (and in my opinion more important) question you've asked, no, God's love for you isn't ruined. I don't care what you've said, what you haven't cared about, what you've done—God's love is incapable of being ruined. This would imply weakness or unfaithfulness, which our faith does not characterize God with. And Christianity is firm that it is never too late to repent—meaning, to turn around and dedicate yourself to not going back. (God's love reaches the unrepentant as well, of course—it is a matter of whether we can see it and move through it, not whether it's there.) Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand—as in, it's always been here, it's happening now within you and your communities, and it will arrive.

Whatever changes you make and journeys you begin, God's love goes with you—it's not something we work toward having, but something we work toward honoring. It is hard to change habits—it's hard to change anything, and your dedication to thinking about this new part of your life is admirable.

I want to say don't get caught up in the smallest possible meanings of the commandments as you continue into Christianity, but I love that you are and that's not really the advice I want to give. What I mean is more, don't let this be a barrier. Every tiny thing is part of our lives, which means they can trip us up, be things to obsess over, be things we focus on to avoid other things, be areas we become perfectionist when that energy could be used more usefully. I am contributing to harm in countless ways that don't include swearing, and to be an imperfect human in this world, you are too. I give you permission to not let this be the hill you die on. Christianity calls us to be willing to die on so many hills, y'know? The enormity of our dedication can be overwhelming, but we move forward knowing the love of God is on our side.

The sacred Name has only ever been put into human words in the form of Jesus, and meeting him in both the sacred and ordinary is how I honor the Word. As I navigate the countless ways I exist and affect and am in relationship with the world, I come back to that. That true holiness can never be profaned, so I must not act as if it can be. When I find myself acting as if God could be hollow, I know I must turn back. I may embody this idea differently than you and others—we cannot all pay attention to everything at once. But I honor your commitment to the small things, and I pray that you live confident in the knowledge that nothing you have done or will do can stop God from entering into communion with you.

<3 Johanna

[bug-bites]

one of my fav things to read/write is a f!reader x Simon "Ghost" Riley, where the reader is almost exactly like ghost. I'm talking full black mask, (maybe legally dead) few words, silent, callsign generally spooky like Reaper or Phantom, and I was wondering if you would wanna do that?

Usually I have reader as a childhood friend or adopted sibling of Roach, which is why roach is so comfortable around ghost. He's just used to it. If it's pure fluff or platonic that's completely fine, and if you don't wanna do that it's also fine!! I just thought I might as well shoot my shot :)

Your an amazing writer, have an awesome day <3

seeing double

cw: canon-typical violence, breif (pun intended) mention of ghost having skeleton boxers (nothing like explicit though i dont even know if this needs to be mentioned tbh but better safe than sorry), ghost gets shot womp womp, angst w/ a happy ending, so many military inaccuracies, barely proofread :P

pairing: platonic!simon 'ghost' riley x f!reader, gary 'roach' sanderson & reader

characters: simon 'ghost' riley, gary 'roach' sanderson (price, gaz and soap mentioned v briefly!)

authors note: omg you are so sweet thank you so much!! sorry this took so long i've been so busy with things, i hope you don't mind that i got a bit silly with this one and basically wrote a fic in jot notes 😭 (ALSO ROACH MENTION!! I LOVE MY BBYG THANK YOU ANON <3)

when you first met ghost he genuinely thought this was a joke. the balaclava, the whole death motif, your callsign being phantom which is literally synonymous with ghost, even your attitude was so eerily similar to him. it was like looking in a mirror

it didn't help when he tilted his head you mirrored your actions

i think he wouldn't gravitate immediately to you, it's not that he didn't like you he just felt a bit odd with how similar you two were, in all honesty he was probably slightly unnerved by you

soap and gaz definitely crack jokes about you being the second coming of ghost or something dumb like that

whenever anyone is referring to you and ghost and phantom it was always "the ghosts" or "ghost and girl ghost" which pissed you OFF

roach cant count all the times you have ranted to him about how everyone treats ghost like he came up with your whole aesthetic and you copied him when you have been doing this for YEARS before you even met ghost!

"and everyone acts like he invented skeletons and being legally dead! how self centered do you have to be to act like you invented skeleton iconography?! THEYRE SKELETONS. THATS LIKE BASIC HUMAN ANATOMY. and its always men taking the credit- god its so stupid! i did shit this first and how do i know that he isn't copying me huh?? did we ever think of that?? and ghost is such a basic ass fucking name like really. ghost? bet the only reason he wears that mask is to cover up his casper sized forehead."

roach knows that you're annoyed and you probably aren't trying to be super mean- maybe you don't even think ghosts forehead is casper sized! but hey, he isn't trying to argue while you look like you're about to rip someone's head off

instead he opts for calmly signing words of comfort lest you tear ghosts head off (with a few minor corrections)

"yes roach i know phantoms are pretty much the same as ghosts but that's not the point. you're basically my brother. you have to be on my side. that's how it works."

its good you and roach get along with each other. however, since you are just so similar with someone whos name starts with s and ends with imon "ghost" riley he becomes friends with roach quite easily and rants to him too

"she thinks shes so fookin crea'ive but you know wha? she isnt. bet ive been in SAS longer than her. wheres 'er skull tattoo at?? cause i got a whole sleeve done almost a decade ago! she isnt the first to come up wi' this. see, i get youre friends wi' 'er but truth is she di'nt come up wi' all o' this 'erself and she isn't half as dedicated as me. i even got skeleton boxers! she got those??- wait no dont answer tha' i dont wan' tha' image in my head."

for the first month or two whenever you see each other its clear you two do not get along.

roach tried to crack a joke but if anything it just made you hate ghost more

"hey, phantom. what's got two legs and bleeds?" "half a dog." you and ghost respond in unison

the rest of the day you dont even acknowledge each other. price makes a joke about how "you both are acting like you killed someone" which you mutter a small "oh im going to that's for sure" under your breath

safe to say you had a long rant to roach about how now not only is he stealing your whole persona, he's taking your jokes now too

you think roach would be torn between choosing sides but no this man loves every second of it. its so petty- so stupid he just needs to see how long you two idiots will keep butting heads

you mention how you were planning on getting a red mask? he's going up to ghost being like "hey, ghost did i ever tell you red is totally your colour? you know what actually? you should get a red mask!"

you both walk into the next briefing with your new masks and you couldn't be more pissed

to make matters worse you both are teamed up for the next mission. something about stopping a major arms dealer but ghost is the one getting his hands dirty. all you need to do is get into security, guide him through the complex enough for him to grab intel and leave

its simple. you've done it a billion times before, same with ghost. the first half goes fine. you both get in, he grabs the intel and is ready to head out, both of you speaking only when necessary.

minor issue- actually major issue, getting out wasn't as smooth. somehow ghost ended up shot right as he's notifying you that he's almost out. you hear the gunshot ring out, a grunt and scuffling.

"phantom to ghost. how copy."

your voice rings out, an eerie silence following after

"ghost. how copy."

you repeat again, this time earning a response

"m' alive. shot in the leg. bullet went clean through, makin a torniquet as we speak" he grunts back. you have never been happier to hear his stupid manchester accent "keep it that way."

if past you knew those four words directed at ghost would come out of your mouth, you're pretty sure you would've stolen a tank and driven it off a cliff immediately with ghost in it too probably

but now is not the time hotwiring a tank and locating a cliff would take too long anyways, you guide him out, occasionally telling him some stupid fun fact to make sure he's still there or just to keep him alert

"did you know that jellyfish have one hole for their mouth and asshole?" "these get more concerning the more you tell me." "most koalas have chlamydia." "alrigh', 'nuff of that. fun facts are s'pposed to be fun, you know that right?" "learning is fun."

this earns a chuckle from him which he quickly covers up with a cough

he makes it out alive, busted up that's for sure but alive nonetheless

you hook his arm over your shoulder, talking about everything and anything to keep him conscious. he's going to listen anyways so might as well make the most of it

"you're not as bad as i thought you'd be, 'specially for a copy cat." he says after you tell him yet another bizarre animal fact "i got a red mask first by the way" "piss off. this is why i don't compliment you" he rolls his eyes, for once not out of annoyance "i wear it better anyways." "sure, sure. believe what you want, but just know that i'm the cooler one." "you also are shit at making tourniquets" "so you finally admit that i'm cooler." no amount of eyerolling or snappy comebacks can hide your grin at this point. you silently thank your past self for choosing to wear a mask all the time "you're quite bold for someone who got shot in the leg"

once you two get back, practically everyone is surprised how all the deadly glares and colorful insults muttered under heavy sighs between you two have now been replaced with playful banter and empty threats with no murderous intent behind them

price heard you laughing with ghost followed up with you telling ghost "they will never find your body" which did scare the shit out of him but it made ghost laugh so hard he nearly pissed himself

price made sure to check that ghost was in fact alive for the next few days, just to make sure you were joking

when asked about it both of you just shrug and reply "trauma bonding."

roach, although disappointed with the absence of drama is glad to see two of the most special people in his life getting along bros just sad he cant be an instigator anymore

and as soon as ghost comes back from leave, he's got double the scary dog privileges he originally had

[cowardlycowboys]

you're JOKING

[aleenya]

sharing a little bit more of my steins;gate mtg deck bc im having a lot of fun with it and to be cringe is to be free

context: these are all mtg proxies. ive changed nothing mechanically except the card names or flavor text (some i need to tidy up or format better tho.)

i wanted to prioritize thematics above all else so most of the cards come from the dr who sets!! (which are so banger omg. suspend is a great mechanic.) if ur interested in the full deck feel free to pm me, im happy to share! it still needs some editing/reworking but its fully playable and legal as is

commanders

so these are the commanders. kurisu (clara proxy) is scarily good bc whenever an activated ability triggers on a doctor (all the doctor cards are mostly just world-line variations of hououin kyouma/okabe LOL) then it triggers a second time. and that gets ridiculous fast 🧍

hououin kyouma (tenth dr proxy) is great bc he gets cards into suspend, the mechanic this deck is built around. when cards are in suspend, they're considered 'exiled' and have time counters on them that tick down every upkeep. once there's no more time counters on those cards, you play them for free. He can also time travel (bc of course) which can either add or remove time counters. hes honestly a lot of fun, i love the lil combo this pairing has!! and i love the thematic element that kurisu just makes okabe better bc its true jfghdhdhdh

see more below!

creature highlights

ignore the fact that mr braun is an alien rhino soldier i just had to have this card in my deck bc i thought it was funny LMAO

i also have other wordline variations of suzuha and all the lab mems <3

spells/instants highlights

one thing: all of history all at once + rousing refrain = insanity

i have no defense for grapeshot i just really wanted the cg of mayuri with the gun in my deck KGHXDH

enchantments highlights

artifacts highlights

i have a lot more artifacts (including the time machine and a lot of the future gadgets, like moad snake, which gives protection from all creatures for a turn.) round table and the moment are thematically fun tho - and of course obligatory ibn 5100.

wincons

wincons are cards where, if i fulfill a certain condition, i win the game! i play mtg very casually and just for fun, so i dont like infinite combos or anything like that. but i thought for s;g it'd be fitting to have some slow-burn win conditions that i slowly build up towards. one is Gates. Gates are special lands from the baldur's gate set; i've reworked them in my deck to either be different s;g locations or worldlines (like alpha, beta etc) and then finally i have the steins;gate card (proxy of maze's end) where if i have at least ten gates in play and then play that, i win. it's a verrryyy slow burn wincon tho and i've only pulled it off once, so it's not very reliable. but its fucking thematic and thats all i care about LMAO

and then the other wincon is the Divergence Meter which is also super slow. if i can at least get the time counters on it to 500, then double to 1000, its pretty much an autowin B) but again, getting it to that point is difficult and takes a while. which i find very fitting

thank u for coming to my deeply autistic presentation. am i slightly deranged for doing this? mayhaps ... but my love for steins;gate knows no bounds </3

[like-it-or-not-i-am-alive]

Something I really resent about working in the medical field is how much I hear transphobia compared to working at literally any other job I've had.

I would hear it occasionally at my prior jobs. It wasn't relevant enough to mention it, really. Heck, my very last job before the hospital was super accepting of anything LGBTQ. The hospital? Not so much.

Unfortunately, it's a lot more relevant in an ER than my prior jobs. Surprise! Trans people need healthcare, too. It never fails. Whenever a trans or gnc person comes in... You better believe I'll be hearing about it one way or another. The number of times I've been dragged into gossip over transphobia is atrocious. I don't even go looking for it. A nurse or tech will come up, unprompted, and begin to say the rudest things about the patient.

"Omg, Kid, we had this man come in ---- who had, get this, a mini skirt on! Oh, and a full face of makeup. He wanted to be called ------. Isn't it crazy? It's so funny to see." (Details of this example removed for HIPAA).

Wish I was I exaggerating. This is almost verbatim. Save for a word or two.

That's just the most recent example. I've heard worse things, including referring to transwomen as perverts and referring to all trans people as "it".

I want to say it again really quick: I work in a HOSPITAL. An ER, to be exact. These are the people providing health care. These are nurses, techs, doctors, and MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS.

The only saving grace is I know these people aren't skimping on their care (as far as I can know, anyway). Most of the time, they'll be civil and use the correct name for the patient (even though the wristband reflects the legal name).

It just makes me so mad. Other than the corporate greed that plagues healthcare in the USA, this is one of the major reasons I hate the medical field. Yet, its one of the only places that pay a living wage.

A living wage that I'm not making (I'm in a nonclinical position), but still.

I'm just so mad. I'm mad for my sake and for the sake of my fellow queers.

[muhwaa]

TACO TOWN — Business man

SYNOPSIS ꒱ Jake just wanted to buy some shrimp tacos for him and his friends. But instead, he left with one empty taco shell and a flustered face— and all because of a Taco Town worker named Y/N.

“…You’re here for an interview?” Jaemin asked, with an eyebrow raised at the boy who stood in front of him.

Jake, known by Jaemin as ‘Taco Shell Guy’, grinned. “Yes! Is the manager here?”

“I’m the manager.”

“Oh… Can I have an interview then?”

It was clear to Jaemin that he had never interviewed for any previous jobs. In a way he found it funny, but he didn’t want to hire Taco Shell Guy. It was just a feeling that Jaemin got from being around him.

Still, Jaemin couldn’t let his personal bias get in the way of hiring new employees, so he proceeded to lead Jake into the employees room and sat him down at the table.

Jaemin pulled out a notebook. “Okay, let’s start. What’s your full legal name?”

“Sim Jaeyun, but you can call me Jake.”

“I’ll stick with Jaeyun...” Jaemin sighed. He did not want to hire this guy. “Do you have a resume I can look at?”

Jake pursed his lips. “Did I need one?”

He was already annoyed with Jake, for a reason he didn’t want to confirm, but he had to stay professional so Jaemin just shook his head. “No, it’s fine. Can you tell me of any past work experience you’ve had?”

“Hm, well I used to babysit mom’s friend’s children!”

“So would you say you’re good with children?”

Jake chuckled, and then paused while nervously biting his lip. “No.”

“What about any hobbies you like to do?”

“Does soccer count even if I’ve been benched for most of the season?”

Jaemin nodded. “That still counts.” It was less impressive, but it was still a hobby. “How would you describe yourself in 3 words?”

At this, Jake perked up and snapped his fingers. “Jaeyun, certified, rizzmaster.”

“Okay… Why do you want to work at Taco Town?”

Jake opened his mouth to give the real reason, because he wanted to work with the cute girl who gave him an empty taco shell, but he figured that wasn’t the best decision. “Because I love tacos and also I love towns! So tacos inside of towns are my favorite kind, and towns with tacos are also my favorite. Therefore I want to work here.”

Jake pulled that out of his ass.

It seemed that he was a lost cause, or at least it was very unlikely Jaemin would hire Jake. It wasn’t as if Taco Town needed new workers anyways, and having someone as inexperienced and unlikeable (at least in Jaemin’s point of view) as Jake wouldn’t be of much help.

But Jaemin still had one question to ask, and he figured he might as well ask it before not hiring Jake.

“Okay, last question. Can you speak Spanish? It’s not a requirement for working here, but we do like to know if any possible incoming workers can communicate effectively with Spanish speaking customers as this is a taco restaurant.”

“¡Sí, en realidad puedo hablar español con fluidez! Estudié en Ecuador durante aproximadamente 2 años, y en ese tiempo pude perfeccionar mi español y realmente conectarme con la cultura.”

Jaemin blinked at him. He didn’t expect Jake to respond in fluent Spanish, and he certainly didn’t understand a single word he said.

Despite his past biases towards Jake, he was exactly what Taco Town was missing. He just needed a little bit of… shaping. But Jaemin would keep a close eye on him for a while.

“Congrats Jaeyun, you’re hired!” Jaemin gave him a thumbs up.

“Really?!” Jake gasped. “Now I can see Y/- I can be around tacos and towns all the time!”

Jaemin really had to keep a close eye on Jake, especially around a certain someone.

Jake was just lucky he could speak Spanish.

☰ previous masterlist next

a/n ꒱ i’ve had this written for like a thousand years but i kinda “left” the app for a while 😅😅😅 but omg Haiii 😊😊

taglist ꒱ @yyunari @yenqa @tnyhees @txtbrainrot @eulris @astrae4 @beansworldsstuff @chaechae-23 @lovelypitasworld @theskzvibe @luvistqrzzz @sserafimez @l0veflwrs @myjaeyunn @bluxjun @simp4jakesim @yumilovesloona @m-likes-enhyphen @youmenotyummy @ilovewonyo @captivq @redm4ri @anyavaramyr @jakewife @highkeyadumbasslmao