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magaprima · 4 years ago

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Okay, maybe it’s my knowledge of history, maybe it’s the fact I did studies years ago into human trafficking where similar instances happened, maybe it’s knowing people in my family’s countries have had to do similar things throughout history, maybe it’s the fact I remember my lit tutor saying ‘how a person reacts to a fictional character’s plight is revealing of how they would behave in reality’, but I am getting so fed up of people condemning Lilith for what happened to Adam, or worse, mocking and belittling it like ‘omg she straight up murdered her kid lmao wtf’ which was actually a real comment I just fucking deleted off a GIF set I made. See, this is why I’m seeing these idiots, because they feel the need to comment on a GIF they’re NOT EVEN REBLOGGING. But whatever, I digress. My point of this post is:

LILITH DID NOT MURDER ADAM. SHE DID NOT KILL HIM IN PETTY REVENGE. SHE DID A HEARTBREAKING THING THAT MADE HER WANT TO DIE WHEN IT WAS DONE IN ORDER TO SAVE HIM FROM THE HORRENDOUS CRUELTY AND ABUSE SHE HAD SUFFERED FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS. And this is without the added consideration that the trauma of such a painful, unnatural birth and post-natal exhaustion and other hormone/chemical issues would have effected decision making and problem processing.

Okay, so listen; mothers killing their children to spare them from horrors is not an invented concept. It is horrendously true and has happened throughout history. Primarily, to stop their children being taken into slavery, being raped by invaders, saved from sex rings or taken for whatever miscellaneous yet horrendous situation they’re in, which has included abusive fathers. I am speaking as someone who is Irish, where Cromwell swept the land throwing children into slavery (my great-great-so-on Uncle was a child who was taken, but he survived, and we have relatives out in the Caribbean due to this, which is also how a great-great.great-grandparent met his wife. But again, I digress) and knows there were instances where those, unable to hide their children, killed them rather than submit them to the absolute horrors Cromwell’s men were inflicting (they raped a lot of women, murdered the men, raped and/or stole the children. Whole villages were decimated) and as someone with Mexican grandparents and knows how ancestors were treated so violently and cruelly by invaders that killing children to spare them was by no means an uncommon reaction (and an entirely understandable one).

The most famous incident of this happening, possibly because she was already a slave and therefore considered ‘property’ rather than an unnamed native person being dragged from their home, and it was recent enough for official news reports, was Margaret Garner. She was a runaway slave, and, when surrounded by slavers to take her back, she cut the throat of her 2 year old daughter, and planned to kill her other three children and then herself, but the slavers got to her first. They then told her she was property and not a mother at all, and they weren’t her children, but the slaver’s property and therefore she’d damaged property. The horror of that story is undeniable and Margaret’s actions undeniably understandable and cry for sympathy and empathy....and YET, there are still people who condemn her today. Really. So it shouldn’t surprise me there are people condemning a woman in a fictional story too.

More recently, there have been cases/stories coming forward of human trafficking victims, getting pregnant through no fault of their own, and, knowing the child would be trafficked too, have smothered them in their sleep before they could be taken.

Lilith is an abuse victim. Severely abused. She is treated as a slave, Lucifer even says ‘you belong to me and only me’ considering her to be his property, ‘Lilith knows her place; to serve’, ‘there is no escape to Tibet or anywhere else’. Lilith, really, in part 1 and half of part 2 has fucking Stockholm Syndrome; she has no reason to be loyal to Lucifer, we see how afraid she is of him, yet she sticks by him and is grateful for the scraps of approval he gives her. She has suffered so much abuse for thousands of years and lived through it that she had been entirely mentally conditioned by it. It took a huge amount of inner strength, and developing relationships with others (namely Sabrina and Adam 2.0, but also the likes of Theo Putnam, Mrs Meeks) for her to break free of that mindset.

But Lucifer is her abuser. There are countless instances of where we see her absolute terror; look how she begs for mercy after Sabrina’s failed Dark Baptism, how she flinches and covers her face when he comes near her, think of the terror in her eyes when he says ‘and you know what I’m like when I’m bored’, think of her sickening fear in part 3 when she realises the Dark Lord is free, how full of panic and fear she is trying to find out where he’s hiding, of how she desperately tries to hide at fucking Mary’s to get away from him, how she’s dragged out by her hair, think of the fear she has on her face when she chooses to face him and watch the horror on her face as she realises what he’ll do to Adam, and look at the fear and broken spirit of her when she realises she can’t stop him.

Lucifer has abused Lilith for millennia and convinced her that it was love that he was ‘lifting her up’ and ‘making her worthy’, classic abuser language. He even used her own freaking familiar against her. She was treated as property, treated however he chose in that particular moment, and by her own claim she’s done ‘unspeakable things’ to help him, believing she loved him. THOUSANDS of years of abuse and she’s only recently broken free of that, before she’s forced back into his arms, metaphorically-speaking. She is now, however, aware it’s abuse, and she knows what she’s suffered, and how cruel he is, and how he made her into something else, how he used that abuse and cruelty to mould her into what he wanted (think how differently she behaves when she’s his ‘loyal servant’ to how she behaves when she’s free from him and independent. We see a very different Lilith). She knows what Adam will suffer, because she’s suffered it herself. When Lucifer says he’ll suckle on a hell hound and ‘toughen him up and all that’, the expression on Lilith’s face is heartbreaking; she knows exactly what he means by toughen him up. It’s the same as ‘make you worthy’. And the thought of her son going through everything she went through, and then constantly having to fight for his life, fighting against Caliban or Caliban’s children, suffering everything Lilith has, but never having known anything else, never having anyone who loves him truly, no one who could help him escape...it fills Lilith with fear.

And, she’s seen the Dark Lord get his way over and over again. She’s seen how even Sabrina accepts him as her Father now. She knows the Aunts offered to protect her, but even Hilda is only suggesting they leave, like they can’t actually physically fight him, only do their best to keep Lilith safe. And Lilith knows he’ll find her eventually; her experiences and her severe abuse mean she sees it as inevitable, because she’s ‘learned’ it’s inevitable. Lilith cannot see a possible way to keep baby Adam safe. She knows the only way she can protect him from the Dark Lord is to kill him, and destroy the body (or devour the body, however you wish to interpret the bloody scene) so he can’t resurrect him after he’s killed her. Because, yes, Lilith intends to die. Like Margaret Garner, her plan was to die WITH her child, but she was stopped. Lucifer knew that was her intent, that that was what she wanted (she does openly beg him to kill her) and that is exactly why he makes her immortal, so she can never be with her son, but by cursing her with humanity-- to age and rot etc-- he’s making sure she will only get weaker and not have the power to get back her son by any means.

Lilith continues to try to join her son throughout the next episode, to the point of getting a hold of the only blade that can kill an immortal, and it’s only when Marie gives her her son’s spirit, placing it in something solid, meaning-- with magic-- Lilith does have a chance to bring her son back, that instead of wanting to die, she decides to destroy Lucifer instead, as she has nothing to lose. Either, she destroys Lucifer and takes all her power back and gets her son back, or she fails and she dies. She essentially becomes a woman with nothing to lose, and they’re the most dangerous people, because there’s nothing to make them hesitate. As Lucifer learned in a very hard way.

#this was essentially a frustrated rant #but it's also #random thoughts #observations #and #headcanons #it's all the things #i don't normally do tw but this is quite in depth so #tw suicide #tw abuse #tw rape

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lovemesomesurveys · 3 years ago

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Lasts: 1. Last Beverage? Water. 2. Last Phone Call? My mom. 3. Last Text Message? My brother. 4. Last Song You Listened To? I don’t remember. 5. Last Time You Cried? Yesterday.

Have You Ever: 6. Dated Someone Twice? Yes. 7. Been Cheated on? No. 8. Kissed Someone And Regretted It? No. 9. Lost someone special? Yes, a few loved ones. 10. Been Depressed? I have depression; I am depressed. 11. Been Drunk? Yeah. List Three Favorite Colors: 12. Pastels. 13. Rose gold. 14. Sea foam green. This Year Have You: 15. Made New Friends? No. 16. Fallen Out Of Love? No. 17. Laughed until You Cried? No. I haven’t had a good laugh like that in so long... 18. Met Someone WHo Changed You? No. 19. Found Out Who Your True Friends Were? I don’t have any friends. 20. Found Out Someone Was Talking About You? No. 21. Kissed anyone on your friends list? Nope. 22. How Many people on your friends list do you know in real life? On where? If we’re talking Tumblr, then none. 23. Do you have any pets? Yes, I have a doggo. 24. What did you do for your last birthday? I went out to breakfast and did some shopping with my mom and then had my favorite for dinner (Wingstop) and a cake. Then a few days later my aunt and cousin came over for lunch and board games, which was fun. 25. What time did you wake up today? I haven’t gone to bed, yet. 26. What were you doing at midnight last night? Surveys. 27. Name something you CANNOT wait for? For it to finally get cold again omg. This heat needs to goooo. 28. Last time you saw your father? Last night. 29. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? Better health for one. 30. What are you listening to right now? I just hear my fan at the moment. 31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? Yes, my grandpa’s name was Tom. 32. What's getting on your nerves right now? It’s almost 4 in the morning and it’s still hot in my house. Late at night and early morning should be cooler.

33. What is your real name? Stephanie. 34. Zodiac Sign? Leo. 35. Male or Female? I’m a female. 36. Elementary School? I’m not sharing that. 37. Middle School? ^^^ 38. High School? ^^^ 39. Hair Color? Dark brown. 40. Long or short hair? Super short. 41. Height? About 5′4. 42. Do you have a crush on someone? No. 43. What do you like about yourself? Uhhh. 44. Piercings? Just my earlobes. 45. Tattoos? Nope. 46. Righty or Lefty? Righty. Firsts: 47. Surgery? Exploratory surgery after my accident at 7 months old. 48. Piercing? My earlobes when I was a baby. 49. Tattoo? I don’t have any tattoos. 50. Best Friend? Crystal and Starr in preschool. 51. Sport you joined? I never played any sports. 52. Pet? A doggo named Buster when I was really little. 53. Vacation you remembered? First Disneyland trip when I was about 7. 54. Concert? I believe it was High School Musical in Concert. 55. Crush? This boy named Phillip when I was in the 3rd grade. 56. Alcoholic Drink? I think it was some Irish liquor with coffee. Right Now: 57. Eating? I just finished eating ramen. 58. Drinking? Cherry Pepsi. 59. I'm about to... Listen to ASMR videos and probably do more surveys. 60. Listening to... Just my fan and myself typing at the moment. 61. Waiting for... Nothing really at the moment. Your Future: 62. Want kids? Nope. 63. Want to get married? No. 64. Careers in mind? I don’t know. Which Is Better with the opposite/same sex? 65. Lips or Eyes? Eyes. 66. Hugs or Kisses? Both. 67. Shorter or Taller? Taller. 68. Older or Younger? Older. 69. Romantic or Spontanious? Both. 70. Nice stomach or Nice arms? I mean, both are nice... 71. Tattoos or Piercings? Eh, not big on either one but I don’t mind if they have some. Not a lot, though. 72. Sensitive or Loud? Sensitive out of the two. 74. Trouble Maker or Hesitant? Hesitant. Have You Ever (2): 75. Kissed a stranger? No. 76. Drank hard liquor? Yes. 77. Lost glasses/contacts? No. 79. Broken someone's heart? Yes. 80. Had your heart broken? Yes. 81. Been arrested? Nope. 82. Turned someone down? Yes. 83. Cried when someone died? Yes. 84. Liked a friend that is the same sex? No. Do You Believe In: 85. Yourself? No. :/ 86. Miracles? Yes. 87. Love at first sight? No. 88. Heaven? Yes. 89. Santa Claus? No. 90. Kissing on the first date? If it feels right. 91. Angels? Yes. 92. Sex before marriage? Sure. That’s a personal choice. 93. Life on other planets? I think so. 94. Life after death? Yes. 95. Only being with one person forever? Yes, if you’re happy and both want to be. Answer Truthfully: 96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? No. 97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfrend at one time? No. I can’t even get one, ha. 98. Do you believe it's possible to remain faithful forever? Yes. 99. What's the one thing you cannot live without? I gotta have my coffee, ha. 100. What's one secret you have that not many people know? It’s a secret.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #categories #long survey

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palukoo · 3 years ago

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cj and amy, amy and donna, cj and josh… i can’t think of any i haven’t sent you lmao

ahh thank you! wow this is gonna get super long lmao

cj & amy are like. the best omg i love them. i generally think of them meeting while cj's working with emily's list and amy's at now and their sort of running in the same circles, but its not as if we have a good timeline for either of them so its easy enough to say they were both at emily's list. in my head, one of them makes a joke at some point and the other is really the only person who responds to it, and then that's just their relationship for a while, where they'll just joke back and forth about whatever but especially politics, and they vaguely keep in touch. i think they both really like admire and respect each other for their respective paths and the things that they themselves do not have? like, i think cj admires (even if it does also bother her/make things inconvenient) how far amy is willing to go for her convictions, and i think amy admires that cj can like be calm and clear to the press and on a more personal note just like. understand people and be a good friend. i also think that they recognize their similarities, and because of that are kind of more able to like. cut through each other's evasiveness? (cj's better at it than amy is by far, but i do think amy could, from time to time, call cj out for how much she's dodging something) i ALSO think that like. they flirt, like as part of their witty repartee, there is flirting. i tend to think of this as being really joke-y, but also i would be lying if i said that they didn't have great chemistry or that i couldn't see it. anyways i love them and i really wish we got to see them talk more

amy & donna is why this is gonna get really long, bc i've realized that i don't think anyone has asked me specifically about just them but i have talked about them a lot lmao. okay so like i know in canon there's really not a lot between them. trust me, i know, but there's like a certain level of implied... i don't know, comfort with each other? like we see them talk rarely, but they're friendly when they do, and we do see them talk about each other sometimes (amy calling donna cute, amy asking where donna is in dead irish writers, "it'll take his assistant donna five minutes to figure out", "donna told me to come over", donna telling josh to talk/apologize to amy, etc), and like. obviously there's commencement, which to me just shows a ton of trust between them through amy expressing worry and some level of emotional vulnerability, and donna telling her about josh's trauma. so... yeah, they joke together, too, and they probably make fun of josh together, because like, easy target, and there's a lot to unpack, obviously, with their respective relationships with josh and how it impacts their relationship to each other, but it kind of has to put strain on that? but i think that like, being more perceptive than most of them, and being incredibly loyal but also not having the same complexes about it, and understanding josh as well as she does, donna would be way more sympathetic to amy than most of the main cast. also, i did say that cj would call amy on her bullshit, but like. oh my god so would donna. and the thing i'll never shut up about it that like amy recognizes how competent and smart donna is and maybe doesn't like explicitly state it all the time but like. by nature of going to donna for help, she's showing it, which is like. validating. anyways, i just think they should make fun of josh, have a few deep, emotional moments (hey why do 25 and constituency of one just have scenes of them staring at each other until the scenes fade to black. wtf was that.) and slowly fall in love, thanks!

cj & josh my beloved!! they!! god, yeah they’re just like. siblings! they love each other and they argue and they joke and they care about each other so much, i'll never be over it. like it is not remotely original for me to be like "josh sorta sees cj as joanie, or like their relationship makes him think of joanie" BUT i do think its true so i will say it. i love when they make fun of each other, i love when cj calls josh on like. being an asshole. it hurts me when they genuinely argue, but it's also good! i will also like kind of never be over how he (and donna!) responds to her getting death threats, or her saying "josh have you been upset about this? you're very sweet sometimes." about the nsc card plot, or "he thinks of you like a daughter, cj." "that's not a good enough reason to keep me here" or any time that they hug. really, i have so so many thoughts about them but its mostly either in canon or just vibes. anyways my real completely not canon hot take is just like. let them talk about gender! bc neither of them is cis! would they? no they're super repressed. but like i just like to think about it.

#tww #claudiasjeancregg #asks #answered #cj cregg #amy gardner #donna moss #josh lyman #i can never articulate my thoughts on cj and josh talking about gender but. they exist!#anyways this is fun i love never shutting up about characters and relationships i care about #these are probably super rambly but thats kind of my brand at this point #anyways also the four of them all together? thats the fucking dream team baby. like thats it!!#thats what my fucking fic is about really #(like they are the most mentioned by name characters and then its probably abbey?)#which i guess makes it hard to talk about them succinctly or... unbiasedly? thats not what i mean bc i can obviously have bias lmao #but like in a way thats not just like 'and heres a passage from my ridiculously long fic'

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dreamwritesimagines · 3 years ago

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Hi Faint of Heart anon again. Just want to clear I wanted Queenie to tell Hvitty she loved him as a brother. I agree that she could have been happy enough with him but she would have stayed fearful and wouldn't of had the opportunity to grow thanks to the power she had as queen. I'd love to know what was going through Ivar's head when he first saw her and he froze. Also if Bree wrote King on her list when they were wishing for their husbands would Bjorn become king of Sweden (like he did in real life ngl I haven't seen the show yet) making Bree queen 😏 Maybe even Queenie and Brees kids would get married strengthening the relar between there people 😁. Also what country is Queenie from or is it open to the readers interpretation. I always imagined Ireland because a Viking called Imar (possibly Ivar the Boneless or a grandson of his) was allied with some of the Irish for a time. Sorry for the long ask again but I have so many fan theories about this fic it's one of, if not my favourite fic I've read ever. 😍

Omg hi darliiiing! ❤❤

Yessss it would be very different even though she would be happy! ❤❤

What was going through Ivar's head when he first saw her?😈 I think he remembered what Floki had said about "Christian magic" that affected his father and he kept thinking it had to be magic, what he was seeing 😏❤

YESSSS EXACTLY! I don't think Bjorn would stay as a prince, I think at some point he would become a King somewhere 😏❤

I actually left it to reader's interpretation, she can be from anywhere you want and OMG WAIT I didn't know about that Ireland alignment! That's so interesting! 😱😍❤

Omg please don't apologize, I love theories and long asks, they make my day! ❤❤ Thank you so much for this! ❤❤❤

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mojavehearts · 5 years ago

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Fallout 4 Companions react to Strong having a crush on Sole

(REQUESTED!!) (im cackling like a maniac already)

(I know I used this before but...This IS Sole and Strong)

some are them realising it and some are helping him come to the realisation (some of the reacts even work together as one!)

Cait:

Cait watched as Strong stomped back and forth in front of Soles house in Sanctuary, at 4 am, on a Sunday. ‘’Oi buddy! can ya quit yer stompin?’’ she whispers out angrily, putting out her cigarette onto the side of one of the small shacks sole built Strong grumbles under his breath which makes Cait come striding up ‘’what is your problem?!’’ she was trying her best to whisper at least ‘’Strong doesn’t know!’’ he roars back she covers her ears and sighs ‘’Listen big guy, people are tryin to sleep and they cant with you stompin around’’ Strong grumbles again and points at soles door ‘’Strong cant be without master’’ ‘’what you like a lost puppy or somethin’? yer supposed to be a big mean ol’ supermutant’’ Cait scoffs, now leaning against soles house ‘’NO Strong does not want to be, without master near him, makes Strong MAD!’’ Cait’s eyes widen and she backs away slowly ‘’good lord, you better talk to MacCready about that...’’

Curie:

‘’Ah monsieur Strong!’‘ Curie waves strong over in a chirpy tune ‘‘How have our experiments gone so far? any pain? some memories? violent tendencies more than usual?’‘ Curie had gotten some data from some ‘hospital’ of sorts from New Vegas and was testing the medication in does on Strong so far nothing was different of course Strong was already more ‘Put Together’ compared to many supermutants and it had been a very small dose, ‘‘No strong want stop, making head fuzzy! weak!’‘ Curie nods and checks her chart ‘‘When does this usually happen or is it all the time?’‘ Strong stomps his feet slightly ‘‘If Strong is near master it becomes fuzzy! want to stop! need to be strong and protect Master’‘ Curie stops writing down in her notes and freezes ‘‘Oh Mon dieu’‘

Codsworth:

Codsworth is what he calls ‘Smart for an old bot’ he knew from the get go, hes still full of old world ideals so he isn't to keen on it, considering supermutants are known as violent brutes as well, but he warmed up to Strong (well as much as one possibly could if they weren’t sole) and it became quite entertaining for him to watch over a cup of tea and a nice book (he makes the tea for show, sadly he cant drink it) as strong ‘somehow’ gets red when with Sole, it really makes Codsworth rethink many things

Danse:

Danse...Isn’t exactly a fan of supermutants in general, that's just the way he’s wired (haha get it...Ill go)

Strong would always try to size Danse up, whenever he would talk to Sole Strong would be there, either watching intensely with a violent glare or just interrupting whatever he could, so he went up to him and asked what his problem was, guessing it was because he used to be brotherhood and also because...Danse obviously wasn't a fan of him. Strong just stares him down and points a thick green finger to Danse’s chest poking it into him slightly ‘’Sole needs real man, not metal man’’ and walked off leaving Danse to be (the gif above)

Dogmeat:

You know that thing dogs do when they cover their eyes with their paws and or ears as well?...Yeah just that

Deacon:

One word nine letters Terrified

Deacon thought it was kinda cute at first when he would watch strong follow Sole around, in that scary sort of way...in that way where little girls sing ring around the rosy or your child stands beside your bed in the middle of the night and says nothing, but then he noticed things...different things, like how he would rarely let anyone else around Sole, and that one time where they went to the third rail and that person tried to hit on sole and he chucked a tantrum and set the third rail on fire and- OH MY GOD

Piper:

Piper was making her usual rounds around Diamond City, trying to question whoever she could about her new piece ‘’Mirelurks and their MireQuirks’’ when suddenly she saw strong browsing the general supplies store she was confused why he was here alone, things may have changed since Sole came into play but he might still get given a hard time, he scratches his chin and Piper moves closer to greet him ‘’Master friend, Strong need gift for Master, Master gave Strong milk of human kindness’’ Piper thought this was very normal in fact and did help him pick out something, but then he turned to her and said ‘’How do humans show ‘E fec tion’ ‘’ and she froze ‘’Oh wow buddy i’m not the one for that um...Maybe Nicky can help he was married once well- when he was- when he wasn't- wait was he him- yes of course- um - but its- well-’’ Strong had enough of her blubbering and scoffs already walking off to see valentine, Soles gift in hand. Piper breathes out and then in deeply but then starts laughing softly, it was kind of cute really, but she didn’t think Supermutants could feel ..Love?, Piper had already found a new, and better article idea. SCORE

Preston:

Preston sighs softly, wiping the sweat away from under his hat, taking it off to fan himself with it he noticed the ground rumbling slightly beneath him ‘’Strong that you?’’ Preston turns to the direction of the rumbles and places his hat back on, sure enough he was met with big green mean fighting machine, strong. ‘’You know master, what does master like, besides blood and fighting’’ Preston purses his lips in slight confusion an audible ‘huh’ leaving his throat ‘’Strong want say sorry for Third Rail on fire, Mack Ree Dee says I should show sorry with actions’’ Preston scratches the side of his face and stares at the ground for a minute ‘’why don't you go to diamond city? check out the stuff there I’m sure they would like anything from the surplus store’’ Strong grunts in agreement and stomps away again behind Strong stood MacCready with a tilted head and raised eyebrows Preston looks at him completely confused until MacCready takes his two fingers and draws a heart, Preston stands there dumbfounded his gun falling from his hands

Valentine:

It was a slow day for nick, seemed not many people needed help nowadays guess he had Sole to thank for this time off, but he was getting a bit restless with all this sitting around waiting for something, he felt kind of bad for wishing for things to happen but he was sick of the small ‘Lost my cat’ or ‘forgot where my nuka-cola truck was’ and sick of the fact all of those were deacon in different wigs, so when his door opened he was pretty excited he turns his head up quickly and is met with strong slowly trying to squeeze into the door, he struggled for a few minutes before sitting down, and then breaking the chair, but he still sat in place on top of the broken chair on the floor, nick chuckles and rubs at his temples why was the world against him ‘’Strong, great to see you...What do you need?’’ strong was quick to speak ‘’Paper send me but before that pwes ton and then before that mac ree dee and then before him irish lady, and now im here help strong now metal man!’’ nick rubs the lower part of his face and sighs ‘’so...Paper? sent you specifically?’’ strong nods with a grumble ‘’Alright..tell me what you need’’ it was better than seeing deacon in a long blonde wig talking in a high pitch voice about his cheating husband for 5 hours ‘’Strong been told to come to you because you were married and I need to know E fec tion’’ Nicks eyes widen slightly, the pupils whirrling vibrantly this had to be one of deacons tricks ‘’Affection? for whom’’ Strong slams a big green fist on the desk, breaking it, nick pretends the desk is still there for sanity sake and rests his arms in midair ‘’For Master! who else would be good enough for E fec tion’’ Nick could die at that moment ‘’Alright Deacon you can come out now’’ Strong roars angrily ‘’Bald man at settlement!’’ oh god so this was...Serious, nick takes a looooonnngggggg drag of a cigarette and sighs ‘’Alright...ill help ya’’

X6-88:

(petition for me to just use Raymond Holt gifs for X6 considering they are basically,,The same person like the personalities are spot on omg)

All of the companions where sharing their opinions/outlooks on Strongs growing affections on sole/if Sole would return them and all that, Hancock threw in a few sexual jokes (making everyone groan in different tones) while everyone else already knew X6 did not, and he found it obscene

‘‘x6, what do you think about it?’‘ Curie asks with her eyes full of curiosity, as always.

‘‘Absolutely...Not’‘

‘‘What do you mean ‘Absolutely not?’’ Piper asks with a joking scoff

‘‘it is ridiculous at best, there is no way’‘ the other companions sigh at him ‘‘hey it could be a real blossoming love my guy, they will have gorgeous half green babies’‘ Deacon says with a mouthful of carrot X6 looks at him in distaste and turns in his hair ‘‘X6! don't ignore us, stop being a grumpy pants you aren't in the institute anymore! love is real!’‘ Mac says excitedly X6 slowly turns his chair back and stares at him through his glasses

‘‘It might be, but not between sole and the supermutant, now before you complain, i am once again turning in my chair’‘

he will come around

MacCready:

‘’MACK REE DEE!’’Strong stomped up to Mac at INCREDIBLE speed ‘’whoa there strong! you could flatten me buddy’’ he chuckled but he was literally terrified for his life seeing strong run like that ‘’Loud lady says you can help me’’ strong says bluntly ‘’help with what?’’ now mac was interested ‘’I told her I didn’t want to be without Master and she tells me to see you little man’’ MacCready rubs his neck in confusion why would she send strong to him over nothing it was only natural that he would be if he considers Sole his Master ‘’After fire in Third Rail Master was upset at Strong, STRONG CANT STAND IT’’ Mac nodded slightly ‘’uh well...Sometimes a good ‘’hey I’m sorry’’ and some affection, maybe a hug and a gift can work?’’ strong seemed to like that idea ‘’I GO NOW’’ he roars ‘’whoa buddy wait! do you want me to tell Sole you’re leavin? I’m on my way to have dinner with her now’’ dinner!? Strong’s alarms went off in his head and he picks Mac up by his jacket snarling slightly ‘’Dinner?!’’ Maccready stares at strong, confused and terrified ‘’Um yeah...The thing people do to eat? she wanted Duncan and Shaun to meet formally? you were invited remember?’’ ‘’oh’’ strong slowly and gently (for a supermutant) and slightly dusts Mac off and turned away MacCready laughed softly at how strange he could be and then stopped dead in his tracks ‘’Wait what the fu- ‘’

Hancock:

Once the institute was defeated Hancock and Sole both came up with the idea to have a party for everyone at the third rail, all of good neighbour was decorated from top to bottom with funny decor, synth scraps, all of that (much to x6′s dislike, he still went) everything was fine and dandy, everyone was partying it up, Magnolia switched It up for the night and was singing some upbeat party tunes, and then some random stumbled up to Sole, Hancock watched for a distance he knew Sole could handle themselves so he just watched silently, it was chill and all until Strong war cried, threw the person into some lit candles which then got caught on a decoration and set it on fire and then in shock some people bumped into each other and started fighting AND THEN as everything was going to shit Sole had to jump up to Strong to avoid the fire as it pooled around them, the way strong held onto Sole, told him enough whether supermutants could feel that kinda thing or not wasn't his business. Putting out his cigarette he sighs and decides to help in the chaos as Deacon walked into the third rail ‘’ I BROUGHT PIZZ- aaaa???!’’

BONUS

Sole:

Sole was sitting at dinner with Mac, Duncan and Shaun and turned towards the empty spot they had reserved for Strong with a sigh. They just continue to smile and eat, until the door gets fireman kicked down (I cannot stop with that) and strong appears Sole stands up and strong walks towards them, a pretty sweet looking belt in hand he throws it at sole and they catch it ‘’is this for me strong? well thanks! I-’’ then Strong picks them up and awkwardly hugs them to his body sole struggles a little bit against him ‘’is this about the third rail? its alright strong I told you that I was just busy’’ Strong ‘’I’m trying to do human E fec tion’’ sole goes silent and then smiles softly ‘’thanks strong that’s really nice of you to do that for me, but you don’t have to I like you the way you are’’ strong slowly puts sole down and sole pats him on the arm

Mac and Duncan just looked at each other awkwardly and kept eating the whole time

Bonus Bonus

Maxson:

(I hope this was okay!! thank you so much for requesting I had a BLAST doing it!! xxx)

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gothicwidowsworld · 5 years ago

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Starstruck ○ G.L #1

Requested - I LOVE the cast of Bohemian Raphsody!!! can I please ask for a Gwilym Lee imagine where yn is also on the movie, but she and Allen are Friends since they worked together on downton abbey and Gwil and Lucy are huge fans and the boys love to tease his crush-that-turned-into-girlfriend😍❤

This is gonna be a 2 parter (or maybe more idk lol) anyway lol hope you enjoy part 1

Imagine…

“I’m literally 5 minutes away chill” Y/N giggled into the phone driving through the streets of London at this time in the morning was something she hated but would have to get used to over the next few months. “Alrighty see you soon” she ended the call before returning to having a mini concert in her car. Pulling up to the large white building Y/N breathed deeply, even after years of meeting new cast mates she still got nervous but lucky she had Allen to help her. Grabbing her now lukewarm at best coffee she began to make her way inside. “Finally. I thought you were never going to show up.” Allen laughed from his position against the wall his famous Irish accent making its appearance. “You know I don’t do well with early mornings.” the welsh girl simply stated palming off her half drunk cup to the blonde man to tie her y/h/c out of her face.

Taking a sip of the drink Allen pulled a face even after working together for a while on Downton Abbey he still hadn’t gotten used to how strong she liked her coffee in the morning, the pair had often joked it was what she needed to be able to act. Nudging her shoulder lightly Allen guided the female into the office space they were using for the read through for the next couple of days. There weren’t a lot of people in the room as most had gone next door to help themselves to some of the food on offer.

The pair walked over to the collecting group of cast members eager to break the ice and start to get to know each other. “Ah hello Husband” Y/N said cheekily to a tall gentleman she recognized. Startled the brunet man jumped a little when he saw her “What?” he asked confused “Your Gwilym Lee right?” Y/N questioned gently. “Huh oh yeah!” Gwilym stuttered out face flushed red in the process “I.. I just didn’t know you knew who I was…” he trailed off softly hoping he hadn’t already messed up. “It’s just you’re you! Um you’re Y/N L/N” giggling the y/h/c girl nodded “Well I was last time I checked yeah.” Gwilym was still slightly red in the cheeks and was now just wishing the ground would swallow him whole. “I just really like your work. You’re amazing!” he let out the compliment quickly. Grabbing his large hand in hers Y/N smiled delicately “Just breath.” it was really sweet that he was so starstruck but at the same time it was a little strange I mean he’s Gwilym Lee. After calming the man Y/N smiled again but this time took her turn in complimenting him “You know I’m a fan of yours as well. You were so cute in the Tourist and Jeez I love an episode of Midsomer Murders who doesn’t.” Chuckling lightly Gwilym shook his head at the fact his celebrity crush had seen some of his work.

Suddenly a bubbly voice interrupted the pair “OMG your Y/N L/N I loved Lady Constance.” the blonde haired female practically screamed as she launched herself into a hug. The y/h girl managed to catch the person before they both almost went tumbling to the floor. “I’m so sorry.” the blonde whispered energetically helping the y/h/c girl off the floor. Grinning the blonde introduced herself “I’m Lucy. Lucy Boynton. I’m so excited to work with you.” greeting Lucy back just as energetically Y/N cheerfully chatted away to the girl.

With the read through over for the day Y/N packed up her stuff slowly mulling over the day and what the shoot had in store. So far the cast seemed absolutely lovely, having worked with Allen and briefly Ben before it was great to work with some other actors. “Hey Gwilym do you want to hang out sometime?” Y/N questioned quietly smiling up at the taller man “It would be nice to get to know you better I mean we are going to be playing Husband and Wife for a while.” Shrugging on his coat Gwilym’s heart skipped a beat was this real life. “I have a bottle of red and an episode of Y Gwyll waiting. Maybe we could order some pizza or something.” Y/N suggested. Nodding quickly Gwilym agreed.

Lazily curling up on her sofa Y/N leaned forward to grab a slice of the deliciously cheesy pizza the pair had ordered “So tell me about your childhood? I want to know everything.” she stated her y/e/c eyes sparkled in delight. “Well there’s not much to say” Gwilym trailed off trying to think of what to say. “Well where are you from? Any Siblings?” the girl started listing of things he could tell her. “Well I was born in Bristol, and I’m the youngest of 4. There’s Geraint, Owen, Rhiannon and me.” Y/N giggled slightly still listening intently “What?” the man questioned pulling a comedic face at the girl. “Nothing but you’re the most Welsh Englishman I’ve ever met.” she looked at him and for a minute it felt natural, painfully natural. For a second they weren’t actors or celebrities they were just two ordinary people having a laugh. “OK well what about you?” Gwilym quizzed. “Okay be prepared to have your mind blown.” Y/N cleared her throat jokingly “I’m from Abergavenny, I have no siblings it’s just little old me and my parent’s own a farm..” Y/N continued. The two of them went well into the night telling each other stories of their childhood.

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finding-the-daylight · 4 years ago

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It’s been a real fucking stressful week so I’m finally gonna be drunk-watching and reviewing Breaking Dawn Pt. 2. However, I will likely only be slightly drunk(ish) (if at all) because I’m all out of liquor and only have one beer at the moment, but hopefully it’ll be enough to counteract how terrible this movie is lmao. As usual, here is what I remember from the movie the first (and only) time I ever watched it:

1. The battle scene happened but it was all in Alice’s vision and never actually happened.

2. Imprinting bullshit that none of us want to talk about. Let’s pretend it never happened.

3. Some weird dude makes fake IDs on demand.

4. All the vampires with cool powers get together, yet, sadly, they do not take down the Volturi to form a better, democratic government.

My thoughts as I’m watching are below the break:

- The opening credits triggered a forgotten feeling of sadness. Was it sadness over a terrible plot or sadness over the series being over? I couldn’t tell you.

- This fucking soundtrack excuse me. The orchestral opening piece? BEAUTIFUL. I want to choreograph a ballet to this. Or do the TikTok twerk challenge to it. Idk.

- I’m actually kind of sad that this was the last movie and it hasn’t even started yet. Most of the plot is shit and smeyer wrote some horrible garbage, but I want more of this universe. Can some of y’all who are creative write the next book and not be racist or sexist? Thank you.

- Fuck this part of the soundtrack I’m literally going to cry.

- I can’t believe smeyer produced this movie. Who let her?

- When Bella opens her eyes that shit makes me want to be a vampire @Carlise.

- Her first instinct is to grab Edward’s arm I’m crying. They love each other so much and it’s so fucking pure. I hate how they look at each other. It makes me sick but it’s all I want.

- This is the most relaxed Edward has been in any of the movies.

- LITERALLY HOW COOL WOULD IT BE TO SEE A FLOWER BLOOM LIKE THAT?!?

- I WANNA JUMP OVER A DAMN WATERFALL

- I actually feel really bad for this deer and I wish they did eat mosquitos :(((((

- Edward’s so proud of her for her control. He loves her so much.

- OMG I FORGOT SHE SAVED THE DEER WE LOVE TO SEE IT SAVE THE DEER BELLA

- aww fuck no now they’re gonna talk about the imprinting bullshit. I won’t even comment on this because y’all already know my thoughts. We hate it and we hate canon and smeyer is fucked up for what she wrote.

- Carlisle looking fine as fuck as usual, thank you. I don’t love the hairstyle here, but he’s still fire.

- Rosalie looks so happy and we love to see it. She deserves it.

- EMMETT AND ROSALIE ARE INSTIGATING THIS FIGHT AND AS FUCKE UP AS THIS STORYLINE IS I LIVE FOR THEM BOTH AND I LOVE IT LMAO

- THE WAY JACOB SAYS “OH” SENT ME THE FUCK LMAOOOOOO

- Emmett loves this fight and I love Emmett

- Damn Edward’s actually openly being turned on by something for once in his life

- The Loch Ness monster line isn’t that funny anymore tbh. I did not laugh.

- There was a lot of quivering.

- Bella literally said we’re gonna keep going for the rest of eternity.

- Everyone knows when they get back. So far, Emmett is my favorite in this movie lmao. Even Carlisle who’s always sick of his kids’ shit cracked a smile.

- Poor Charlie. They’re about to tell him she died and they’re all moving.

- Jacob’s about to go tell his secret to Charlie and then shit gets lit. I remember this part now.

- Taylor deserved an oscar for this scene. This movie might have been trash, but his conversation with Charlie deserved all the awards.

- “Jacob put your on clothes on” fucking SENT ME LMAOOOOO.

- Charlie’s so confused, poor man.

- Jacob straight up invited Charlie over with no warning while Bella was a newborn vampire lmao.

- I LOVE ESME AND CARLISLE SO MUCH

- The way Carlisle opened the door and said “Hello Charlie” did something to me. I wish my name was Charlie.

- Charlie’s so happy to see Bella though. I’m happy Jake told him tbh.

- Poor Charlie now he’s all upset because he saw Jacob turn into “a very large dog” and he’s concerned about what this means for Bella.

- She finally called Charlie dad and hugged him like she loved him.

- EDWARD TOLD CHARLIE THE TRUTH THAT RENEMEME WAS THEIR DAUGHTER HOLY SHIT I FORGOT

- Emmett really is my fave in this movie lmaoooo.

- Everyone is laughing and smiling instead of being all depressed. We lov to see it. This is my favorite scene in any of the movies now.

- When Bella said she was born to be a vampire, it would’ve been way more effective to start playing “Born to Die” by Lana Del Rey tbh.

- Irina’s about to go tattle-tale to the Volturi. Tbh I’d be pissed too after what those racist fucks did to Laurent. He wanted to join the Cullens and adopt their lifestyle. And by racist fucks, I mean smeyer and the writers of the screenplay.

- Aro is such a dramatic bitch.

- Carlisle could read me the damn phone book and I would listen.

- Honestly smeyer is fucked up the fuck up and I’m starting to think she nejoys writing about children losing their childhood. The immortal children storyline is one of the most fucked up parts of canon and we really need to expose it more.

- Carlisle and Esme are so damn cute.

- Uh-oh Sammy boy’s there. Jasper and Alice just bounced? I completely forgot about this.

- The fucking volvo.

- Okay SUPER BIG FUCKING PLOTHOLE HERE. So when they were in Alaska, Edward basically said Renememe had a beating heart so like, wouldn’t the Volturi be able to hear it? Wouldn’t that end the battle before it ever started? Smeyer really just wrote shit without thinking it through lmao.

- We hate to see all the cultural appropriation but we love Rami Malek.

- Senna and Zafrina are STUNNING and the fact that Smeyer wrote them as being anything else is a fucking crime.

- I don’t remember this Garrett hoe but I’ve seen a lot of memes about him so I think he’ll be my second fave in this movie next to Emmett. He’s high key a bitch though for treating people how he did.

- Yeah, I’m with Jacob on this one. The red-eyed bitches don’t need to be killing people. ALSO FUCK SMEYER’S RACIST SHIT AGAIN. MORE WOLVES DUE TO MORE BIOLOGICAL WARFARE THIS IS BULLSHIT SMEYER.

- Garrett really fell in love with this bitch Kate and said idc what you do to me, just do it.

- HOLY SHIT THE NEW WOLVES ARE KIDS KIDS. THEY’RE LIKE 6 OR 7. Y’ALL. WHAT THE EVERLIVING FUCK??? GOING BACK TO WHAT I SAID ABOUT THE IMMORTAL CHILDREN THING. THE POINT STILL STANDS.

- Vladimir and Stefan are EXACTLY the vampires I’ve been waiting on. OVERTHROW THIS MONARCHY OLD ASS SHIT AND FORM THE DEMOCRATIC GOVERNMENT. This scene made me like Carlisle slightly less, but in my headcanon he did want to overthrow the Volturi. I would still stare at him all day and listen to him read the phonebook. But he could’ve been a little more badass. It wouldn’t have hurt.

- Edward actually grew a pair and asked everyone to fight.

- Is Aro’s hair different in this movie? It looks different and I kinda love it.

- I hate the Volturi and all of them for varying reasons, but I do love Aro’s dramatics.

- Emmett is living for Edward being shocked by Kate which is why, again, he is my fave in this movie lmao.

- Bella reading to Renememe is the sweetest moment in this movie and it deserves more love.

- “Yeah I just do it so much better.” This cocky bastard.

- FINALLY. HE ADMITS HE UNDERESTIMATES HER. THANK YOU HOE.

- When Jake and Bella are laughing together it makes me smile. It’s so genuine.

- Sue knows what’s good. I can see it in her eyes lmao.

- Alice was smart af though for hiding that clue for Bella.

- JENKS. That’s the dude’s name that makes the fake IDs.

- “Unusually well-preserved” that’s one way to put it lmao.

- This is so sad. Bella thinks she and Edward will die.

- LOOK AT ALL THOSE BENJIS SHE’S STUFFING INTO BACKPACKS@ BELLA PLEASE PAY OFF MY STUDENT LOAN DEBT

- Alistair is such a bitch. Why is he even here?

- This little house looks so cozy for Christmas. This is all I want.

- I love the Clearwater family so much and they deserve nothing but our love and respect.

- I FUCKING LOVE GARRETT. “NAME ANY AMERICAN BATTLE I WAS THERE.” LMAOOOOO

- “No one does rebellion like the Irish.” I love this guy too lmao.

- DAMNNNNN 1500 years waiting on revenge?????? They really could’ve overturned the Volturi in favor of a democracy but Carlisle was too damn diplomatic. But he’s still my fave.

- They did Kristen’s eyebrows dirty in this movie.

- Garrett loves Kate so much and it’s so pure.

- Emmett and Rosalie look so sweet.

- “THE REDCOATS ARE COMING” LMAOOOO I REALLY DO FUCKING LOVE GARRETT AN AWFUL LOT.

- Look @ the Volturi dramatic asses wearing cloaks and shit. Hoe. It’s the 2000s. Not the 1600s. Fix your shit. If a human saw you, you’d expose the secret you’re supposedly trying to keep.

- When Carlisle raised his voice though.

- BUT THIS IS THE BULLSHIT I’M TALKING ABOUT SMEYER PULLING. TALKING ABOUT HOW RENEMEME HAS A BEATING HEART. BITCH. THE VOLTURI WOULD’VE HEARD IT AND KNOWN. NONE OF THIS FUCKERY WAS EVER NECESSARY. SMEYER’S ASS IS MORE DRAMATIC THAN ARO, AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY.

- Bella tried to shield Edward but it wouldn’t stretch all the way to where he was :(((((

- I deadass would not let my child anywhere near Aro period. It would’ve been on sight at this point and the Volturi would’ve been cleared out for democracy.

- I wish Edward would just punch this hoe.

- OH MY GOD I FORGOT ABOUT THE LAUGH THAT IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT

- Jacob seems more concerned than Edward and Bella and that’s really a problem for me. Her parents should’ve torn Aro a new one and that’s on period.

- Bella’s protecting all of them. YAAASSS QUEEN. DEFEAT THESE BTICHES.

- Aro basically verified the headcanon that Gen Z would expose vampires lmaoooo.

- Alice and Jasper save the day.

- CARLISLE FINALLY SNAPPED YAAAASSSS. BEAT THESE HOES ASSES.

- ESMEEEEEEEEEE

- SAM AND THE BOYS ARE READY TO FUCKIN FIGHT NOW TOO. NO ONE FUCKS WITH CARLISLE.

- This whole fight scene is intense but I already know that none of it really happened and it was all a vision so I’m kind of just tuning it out lmao.

- Y’all weren’t playing. When they get Seth that shit really does hurt.

- Alright I’m over this. They’re dragging it out. I’m fast-forwarding lmao.

- YEAH BITCH, BELLA WOULD GET YOUR ASS SO YOU BETTER STOP WHILE YOU CAN.

- OKAY LITERALLY ALSO FUCK THIS STORYLINE NOW I’M PISSED AGAIN I JUST REMEMBERED SMEYER IMPLIED THIS HOE WAS GONNA COME BACK AND FIGHT JACOB FOR RENEMEME WHEN SHE WAS LEGAL IDK IF IT’S IN THE MOVIE IF IT IS Y’ALL FINNA HEAR ABOUT IT AND OF COURSE HE’S INDIGENOUS TOO BECAUSE SMEYER’S GOTTA BE RACIST AS FUCK.

- BUT ANYWAY. Nahuel is actually cool af. Like most of smeyer’s characters, he deserved better.

- Good boy Aro, just walk the fuck away.

- I really wish Carlisle would’ve just listened to Stefan and Vladimir and kicked the Volturi’s asses.

- Everyone is so happy and in love. We love to see it. #simpasshoesfandom

- THIS SOUNDTRACK FUCKING SLAPS. THE CLOSING SONG BEFORE THE MEADOW/AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MEADOW IS A JAM.

- Oh fuck here we go with the flashback. I’m gonna cry for sure. It really would’ve been better with Flightless Bird American Mouth though.

- Damn I’m actually crying. #simpasshoesfandom

- She showed him all her thoughts and love for him I’m crying.

- “NOBODY’S EVER LOVED ANYBODY AS MUCH AS I’VE EVER LOVED YOUUUUUUU”

- FOREVERRRRR

- MY HEART

- THE END CREDITSSSSSS

Ummm. So I really thought I would hate this movie. It is mostly problematic as fuck. But some parts of it were good. Like it had funny moments and sad moments and simp moments and it was not awful. Content wise I rate it like a 3/10. Overall rating I give it like an 8/10. If smeyer’s fucked up shit didn’t get in the way of the movie, it could’ve been a 10/10.

HOW THE PAGES OF THE BOOK OPEN TO REVEAL THE MAIN CHARACTERS’ NAMES I’M CRYING

#Twilight #Twilight renaissance #Twilight review #drunken Twilight #Breaking Dawn #Breaking Dawn part 2 #drunken Breaking Dawn

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sealers100 · 4 years ago

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PART 2: A (brief) review of every Donald Sutherland movie (so far)

Wowee welcome back. Yes I’m still on this shit and I intend to finish it because this is probably the most fun I’ve had in quarantine apart from working night shift at a waffle house. (I wish I was kidding) I will admit this one might not be as long as the last post but I promised to deliver so here we go for part two.

Dr. Terror’s House of Horrors

I had way too much fun with this movie! The story was unique and entertaining with a creepy twist without being so scary I can’t sleep at night. It’s got not only Donald, but also Sir Christopher Lee AND Peter Cushing! Like you can’t get any more badass than that. The acting is pretty great and the music goes hard (there’s a whole segment about a musician and I’m nerding out). Donald is maybe 29 or 30 years old and its one of his earliest (his 4th) film credit and oh goodness his segment is just too much. This is definitely a must see for any Hammer Film fanatics or Sutherland fans, You’ll love it!

The Dirty Dozen

Talk about a throwback to my childhood. Again an old army movie I remember watching with my parents (however watching it again I probably shouldn’t have). The movie itself its great if your into things like Tora Tora Tora! and Kelly’s Heroes. Not a whole lot of Donald in it but what we do get it so worth it. For a “serious and professional” actor, he plays silly and weird soooooo well. I will admit this one isn't nearly as lighthearted as Donald’s scenes might make it seem. It’s an actual war movie with heavy emotions and lots of violence and is quite sad at the end (no spoilers don’t worry). It might not be one to make you cry but you can’t help feeling bad for his character. Personally I loved it but its a classic in my household so I’m a bit biased.

Start The Revolution Without Me

I quite literally choked on my coffee watching this one. Gene Wilder and Donald made a surprisingly hilarious pair and it worked so well!!! I already can’t get enough of Gene so of course this one is probably one of my all time favorite movies across the board. Basically its a switched at birth situation and takes place during the french revolution. I won’t give away too much but if you liked anything by Mel Brooks you’ll love this one. I really can’t say much without spoiling the funny bits but if you’re having a bad day, do what I did and curl up in your onesie with a bag of popcorn and let the laughter ensue.

Act of the Heart

(tw: self harm/suicide mention) Let me start out by telling you how hard it was fro me to find this damn movie and how ecstatic I was when I finally got to sit down and watch it. For anyone who doesn’t know me, my background is in vocal performance and I did a lot of work with the episcopal church in college as a soloist for churches, weddings, events and stuff so getting to see Donald as a CONCERT DIRECTOR just made my little heart explode. I was constantly geeking out at the musical parts and even got a bit of concert anxiety for the main character, Martha Hayes. She falls in love with him but of course he’s a priest (again) but this time he actually leaves the ministry for her. The movie itself is good (and the music gets my seal of approval as well) but there’s a quite a bit of triggering stuff so this one might be a bit difficult to watch for some. I will say some of these movies are quite hard to find and I had to scour the interwebs for them so if anyone wants a watch for anything on either of these lists, don’t be afraid to message me.

Little Murders

Okay so this one will be quite short because Donald is in it for a whole 10 minutes but he should have gotten a fucking oscar for it because I have never been so amazed and shocked by one of his roles as I was with this one. The movie is great if you’re into Elliot Gould (and his hair omg). But jesus Donald stole the ENTIRE MOVIE for that one brief scene. You can find clips of it on youtube just go watch it. Hell I’ll probably post it on my blog later. It’s honestly the best thing ever, and I want it played at my wedding.

Steelyard Blues

What is it with directors and casting Jane Fonda as a prostitute? I’ll never know but Donald probably had a hand in that decision because he’s the executive producer. The movie is not great by any means but its definitely not boring. Again something about him being silly and dumb he just does so well and its so jarring in this one how silly he can get. I quite enjoyed it actually and its a real change of pace for him because while I like his character, I don’t have a whole lot of sympathy for him like I did for character’s like Casanova. I mean really he doesn’t hold back in portraying Jesse Veldini as an absolute fucking moron but I think we’re supposed to laugh at his misfortunes because they genuinely are funny (I think I just like watching him suffer) And it’s really entertaining. Again, I think Donald could have easily had a career as comedic actor but it’s nice to see how easily he can switch moods.

S*P*Y*S*

Another Donald and Elliot movie and this one is pretty hilarious too. (I’m loving these funny feel good movies) The two of them are CIA spies who aren’t stupid but definitely got the short stick in their agreement with the Russians. The plot makes sense but the way it’s gone about doesn’t really click. The Dynamic between him and Elliot is always fantastic and fun to watch so it makes up for the lack of sense this movie makes. Sorry this one couldn’t be longer but there would be much to say without writing a synopsis and I’m too tired to do that for any of these.

Day of the Locust

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT! I mean jesus christ this movie was a horror show. The film itself is fine, its a great movie, but oH mY GoD!!!! Let me start by saying I didn’t watch the final scene with him in this movie because its fucking brutal and I just knew it wasn’t gonna be the kind of thing I’d needed to see. (Or anyone) Yeah I’d issue a few trigger warnings for this movie. OKAY so Donald’s character is named Homer Simpson (I’m not kidding) and my god I thought I had low self esteem, he’s literally the saddest most miserable and lonely character I think I’ve ever seen him play and he gets used by Faye Greener (Karen Black) who can go sit on a cactus for all I care, I hate that she’s the main character and the way she treats Donald is HORRIBLE AND I HATE IT. God this movie messed me up for a straight week afterward and I’m still not over it. He cries a lot in this one and just stooooooop please I can’t take it I know his character isn't accurate to the book its based on but it just makes me feel bad for him seeing Donald’s character slowly being destroyed by the toxic people around him icanttakeitanymoremovingon.

The Eagle Has Landed

I don’t know the first thing about the animosity between the Irish and the English all I know is that they don’t get along sometimes and Donald’s character this time is I think a NAzi SymPathizer?? I could be wrong but he does help them try to kidnap Winston Churchill (weird). There’s a strangely deep romance between him an a 19 year old girl (uh?) but it doesn’t really come to fruition. Overall it’s a hell of a spy movie and with fantastic performances from Robert Duvall (no I wasn’t able to recognize him) and Michael Caine. It’s a fun movie and Donald’s accent is of course, awful (just the way I like it) and steals the show yet again.

The Disappearance

Interesting fact, Celandine (the main character’s wife) is actually played by Donald’s real life wife, Francine Racette. So it makes for quite an interesting dynamic between the two characters that feels very realistic. This is a hitman movie that takes place in I think Montreal (hard to imagine a lot of Canadian hitmen) And has a surreal feeling about it through the whole movie. Again this was a difficult one to find at first and there is actually two version. One being 80 minutes and the other being 100min. I’m not sure why it was split like this but I’ve seen both versions and they aren’t missing anything they’re just structured differently. It does feel a bit weird watching love scenes knowing that she is is actual wife but it does feel very realistic. Overall the movie is pretty good if you want to see lots of him and his wife. Don’t worry I’m sure their relationship is a lot better than what’s portrayed in the film!

National Lampoon’s Animal House

If you don’t know the story of Donald and this film, here it is. He was originally offered 2% of the films earnings to be in it. Thinking it would be a flop, he refused and asked for his usual flat rate of 45,000. The film was a his and his 2% could have easily been upward of 1.2 million, and this was back in 1978. He later quoted this as one of his biggest regrets of his career. Overall his scenes are quite short but oh so funny. (This list is either very serious or very funny) I like to imagine he put a lot of himself into this role. I definitely had some professors like him in college.

Threshold

Come to think of it, I watched this one so long ago I think I forgot to put it on the last list I did. I was really surprised by how genuine this movie felt. Like everyone really put a lot into this movie but it didn’t get nearly the recognition it deserved. Its a medical drama so that probably why, but it’s got an adorably young Jeff Goldblum and I can’t help but love him and Donald in every scene they’re in together. They play off each other pretty well most of the time and I didn’t really see anything wrong with this film other than it might have been on the lower end of filming budgets but it wasn’t a bad movie. It deserved better.

Ordeal by Innocence

I wish I could say the same for this movie. On it’s own its an alright film. On it’s own the soundtrack is fine too. But when the put the two together It was jarring as hell. The acting and story were okay and could have been fine alone but the soundtrack really broke any chance this film had of being taken seriously. I would have loved to seen it just on it’s own. Donald’s character is for once a genuine kind of ass that I really don’t like but it’s Agatha Christie, all her characters are assholes. This film really had potential but it shot itself point blank in the foot with the music.

A Time to Kill

Jumping forward to the 90′s, this movie is a classic based on a John Grisham novel and wow did I get invested! Donald isn’t in the film a whole lot but he does feel like an integral part of the plot and I really enjoyed him and Matthew Mcconaughey on screen together. Along with Samuel L. Jackson and Sandra Bullock. This movie is just fantastic and I normally don't like court dramas. Now what’s also interesting that not only is Donald in this one but so is Keifer. Sadly these two don’t share any scenes together and I don’t think they really got to work on set together except maybe once. Also Keifer’s character is a horrible racist. If anyone gets in your face about confederate flags being “heritage, not hate” show them this movie, Kiefer will take care of that one..

Space Cowboys

And last but not least, possibly my favorite one on this list. Everyone in this movie has the best film dynamic!! It’s funny, it’s endearing, and even kinda sad at times. The whole film feels genuine between all the lead characters, especially with them al being easily over the age of 65. As for Donald, He’s a smooth talking, dirty old man who hits on anything that moves but I’m sorry it just cracks me up. I don’t think this one should be taken too seriously but I just can’t help but fall in love with this movie. Cowboys, Space, Clint Eastwood and Tommy Lee Jones mean-mugging while Donald laughs and chases after women just makes my day.

Okay this one might have been a good bit longer than the last one so the reviews had to be a bit shorter this time. I would do some research for a lot fo the more serious film on these two lists just because I don’t have the time to issue trigger warnings for every film. I may put out a part three, at least I’m going to try to but I’m working 12 hour days lately so I don’t have as much time to watch stuff as I used to but I’m sure some of your guys do. If you’re having trouble finding a film don’t be afraid to let me know and I’ll do my best to hook you up with some *quality* content. I know I’m having a hell of a hard time finding his older credits and the movie Blood Relatives (at least a version in english) Let me know what you guys think, if you agree or disagree with my opinions. Have fun watching!

#Donald Sutherland #still not tagging every movie #I may end up with a dedicated side blog one day who knows #movies #film

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selkiewife · 5 years ago

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Harlots Season 3 Episode 1 Reaction

*There are spoilers below

Ahhh the opening music. Love it ha.

Okay... who are these people? Is this Josiah Hunt’s family?

Ok get it stable girl

Lady Harlot! Yessss did they make up?? Hmmm I guess?

Hey Luce. Hey new characters.

Holy shit Theon- er Alfie- Isaac is here already and face to face with my LOVING WIFE NANCY BIRCH what.

They’ve given Alfie lines to speak with his MOUTH not just his eyes! Listen up.

“Dainty Size” ha- I mean granted, she’s small but. Did she just threaten to “flay his face off??” Was that a Theon/ Ramsay call back? I doubt it. (Get out of the GOT headspace Selkie, ffs)

I’m sensing real guilt from Charlotte that she’s a bawd and isn’t just one of the girls anymore. You’ve done nothing wrong Char!

Well that’s a weird kink Lucy (licking the bald head). These men are ridiculous.

And now, Kate Fleetwood And Alfie Allen engage in the battle of the jaw lines.

Wait why are they rhyming? Oh right that’s what people did in those days for fun/ to flirt. I know this from Shakespeare. Get in there Fanny! Charlotte is so quick, damn. I want to be them.

“Not a Rogue” Isaac just said more words in this scene than Theon said in the entirety of Season 8 (I’m not ragging don’t at me- Theon said more with his eyes than everyone else combined in Season 8, so it’s fine. I’m just delighted to hear Alfie speak. In fucking RHYME. HA!)

Oh fuck... Bedlam is so horrifying. They are trying to manipulate me into feeling sorry for Lydia and no one is shocked when I tell you it’s working

Charlotte and Isaac. Be still my bisexual heart. Okay but what about Lady Isabella? Well this is just work though. Also maybe they have an open relationship? Or are they even together at all? I NEED ANSWERS HARLOTS. I love how sex is always so clothed on this show- It is realistic of the time period because of the weather and cause clothes were so involved. It just always looks right- like a job and kind of unappealing. And they always get the squeaking of the bed and shit right you know? Oh wait, but they are having a moment.

This must be the brother. Hey Emily. How much time has passed here?

Did Charlotte just say she hasn’t slept with anyone since she became a bawd. So I guess her and Lady Fitz aren’t together then. But they are friendly?

What the fuck Nancy where is your birch rod?? Hold up, where is Will? No seriously, where is Will?

I love Cherry so much God.

Lydia is trying to remember a soliloquy. This is all so Shakespearean what with the rhyming and...

It’s that stable girl

Lady Fitz’ voice cracks me up tbh it’s so over the top and hushed-dramatic but I love it.

William’s in York y’all... but why?

And Alfie’s.... still rhyming... like? I am starting to have flashbacks of my past outdoor Shakespeare jobs right now and part of me is totally into that. What does that say about me really?

That woman really creeps me out... Oh but this must be the molly house plot line.

Back in Bedlam. The Shakespeare is continuing... you guys.

*makes a mental note that Lydia would be a great Alannys Harlaw for sad edits (help me chums)

I really love Harriet’s arc. omg THE THEME OF THE EPISODE IS SHAKESPEARE. Harriet’s brothel girls produce stripped down Shakespeare shows before the fucking commences. Truth though, that is my kind of brothel.

I want the backstory on why Nance wears that gold ring around her neck. Ha- Nance is just a big softie in truth. Okay a gripe though- WHY is Lucy not becoming a dom like Nance? They clearly set that up in the Season 1 finale but never went anywhere with it in Season 2- but they could now- since she is showing such dissatisfaction with her job- but instead she’s going to be a bawd? *Slams hands on table* Give me apprentice dom Lucy working through her trauma with Nancy storyline you cowards! It would be so great- they could use that storyline to give us more Nancy backstory too.

I know we aren’t supposed to like Isaac but something about him getting arrested is turning me on here. (But let’s be honest, I have to like Isaac cause it’s Alfie. I don’t have a choice. Like, I’ve been known to say that John Wick’s dog had it coming- just so we’re all on the same page here.)

Honestly I’m going to have to disagree with you Charlotte, I feel like the gibbet would have been better than Bedlam. I mean. Lydia could write self help books though I swear. Okay so it’s been a year- there was like a years jump- okay.

See, I like how they don’t just completely forget about the dead on this show. RIP Kitty. Aww I’d forgotten that Fanny named her daughter Kitty. I kind of shipped Fanny and Kitty. Now I’m really sad. They would have been a perfect little family.

Oh wow Lucy joined forces with Elizabeth and Fredo. I bet that will end well.

Okay Isaac that was completely unnecessary. Leave baby Kitty out of this. Why does Alfie always get roles where he’s like harassing babies and dogs good lord. He’s so freaking good at them though lol.

Lydia and Isabella are so Shakespearean it’s verging on camp... and I love it. Oh... Lydia. Oh man... she thinks she is going mad. Charles, ffs, you make everything worse.

“A genius with a needle.” Oh no- it’s a hanging offense- again this is not going to end well. Lucy honestly has a noose wish.

Emily wants to learn the art of commerce. Emily is a Slytherin and we stan.

I need more Nance backstory dammit.

This poor stable girl. I wasn’t listening well when she said her name. But God... poor thing.

THIS IS NOT A DRILL. NANCY BIRCH CAN SING. aww she’s singing Kitty to sleep. Oh no... you’re pushing it Alf. First the dog murder, then shouting cunt to a baby, and now trying to burn Nancy and Kitty during this sweet lullaby scene. Like you really want people to hate you don’t you? (In his defense I think he thought everyone was out of the house. Still, arson is not something to be trifled with in those times Isaac... christ. They didn’t even have like firefighters right? I mean, the whole city could catch on fire...) Alfie I swear it gets harder and harder to defend your characters’ actions with each role you play. But you know what, I am not going to even try with this one and instead I’m going to go with the idea that Isaac is just the kind of villain you love to hate.

Oh Fuck you Alfie. Now I have to take back my previous statement because you’ve fucking got me with that line “this trade turns us into rats” and that look of regret. Damn you.

Nancy get out of there... How dare you use Nancy and baby Kitty in this manner, show. I am beside myself.

Charlotte says “Let it burn.” No Char. That is not the attitude. Get some water. I get it though. She still wants to be free. She really should have left with that Irish what’s his name that was so lovely. But then she wouldn’t be on the show and I’d be sad.

And we wouldn’t have Lady Fitz, which, speak of the siren... I kind of wish we had more info on what the hell happened between her and Charlotte this past year instead of this subplot with her daughter- I find myself not caring at all that her daughter is eloping. I mean, I know that there is some INTRIGUE about that but... we’ll have to see if it pays off I guess?

Final thoughts: AHHHH. I love this show. A quick search in the tag has shown me that people are unhappy? I thought it was great! But I do get what people are saying about the time jump. I found that confusing too. I also don’t think people should be concerned about Isaac ruining the Lady Harlot ship. I think that Charlotte and Fitz will be more of a slow burn and I’ve also seen speculation that Charlotte will seek shelter with Lady Fitz so maybe we will find out more about what happened with them next episode. Also, I just want to enjoy Isaac’s storyline in peace without shipping drama. (Um.. you do know you are on tumblr right selkie?) I think he is interesting, the human trashcan rhyming rogue. (And for the record I do ship Lady Harlot.)

Important Questions: Where the hell is Amelia and Violet and what happened with Amelia and Hunt? Surely they will be on next episode. A quick google search in IMDB for the cast list of the next episode has told me... absolutely nothing. So we’ll just have to wait and see. I see people freaking out that they cut them from the show. I suppose it is possible but I certainly HOPE not. I think they just had a lot to get through with this first episode. They will be on next episode. I am willing it into existence.

Ahhh, I’m so excited this show is back.

#harlots hulu #harlots #harlots season 3 episode 1 #harlots spoilers #harlots hulu spoilers #harlots reaction #kate fleetwood #nancy birch #isaac pincher #alfie allen #charlotte wells #jessica brown findlay #long post #lady isabella fitzwilliam #liv tyler #cw c slur

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ravenofthefandoms · 6 years ago

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Here are my thoughts on S8E2!

REAL QUICK THO AN ANGRY REMINDER

If you’re gonna post about an episode after watching the leak TAG UR SHIT I saw way too many spoilers and literally two hours before it aired. If you can’t tag ur shit then don’t post at all until it’s over. At least then most people have seen it. If you don’t tag ur shit then ur legally an asshole so be careful

ANYWAYS Thoughts from S8E2:

- Hi yeah did Dany kinda forget that her dad was the Mad King or is she just gonna act like she’s the only one with the right to want Jaime dead?

- Also I love how she’s like “your sister lied to me wut you gonna do about it”

- She needs to step oFF of Tyrion

- I hope Jaime really does slit Dany’s throat tbh how great would that be

- Bran is great fuckin hilarious

- YAS BRIENNE DEFEND YO MANZ

- God I love Sansa so freaking much 😭 she actually values her advisors opinions unlike another queen I know

- I love how Dany expects Jon to be like “yeah babe whatever you want” and then he’s like “nah Sansa’s right”

- Grey Worm I love you but you’re not intimidating buddy I’m sorry

- Jonno does a 10/10 walkout

- Tyrion you don’t deserve this work environment abuse go give your wisdom to someone else who deserves it

- Mmmmmmm Gendry what a man

- “It’s strong enough” what ur dick?

- “What do they smell like?” What kinda question is that wtf

- PSA: sharp objects handled by Arya Stark turn on Gendry pass it on

- Arya Stark, Queen of BDE

- Fuck yes I love this Bran and Jaime reunion

- Bran is like it’s chill tbh it’s like a good thing that you pushed me out the window and made me a cripple cuz now we’re here and I’m a magical motherfucker

- Bran is the most understanding person ever after he became the Three Eyed Raven

- “She’s your new queen too” mmm no

- Actually, contrary to popular belief Tyrion, it’s not hard to blame her

- Tyrion is both smart and a dumbass at the same time how the fuck

- Jaime’s like a dog who just heard a squirrel like “????brienne?????”

- Podrick isn’t a boy anymore HE IS MY MANZ AND HUSBAND AND HOLY FUCK HE GOT HOT SO FAST LIKE THE LIGHT FACIAL HAIR? WET. SWORD FIGHTING SKILLS? WET.

- Awww Brienne and Jaime are like the awkward high schoolers who have a thing for each other

- Why does Jorah still call her Khaleesi

- I’m glad Jorah isn’t a dumb bitch. Like he literally betrayed Dany to her brother’s killer and she still forgave him but Tyrion decides to trust his sister for once??? Nope he fucked up too bad not trustworthy

- Uhhh the position wasn’t Jorah’s to be stolen

- This scene is proof that Daensa will never happen and I am glad for it

- “I wish I could have that kind of faith in my advisors” uhh??? Maybe get some new advisors then??? You should trust them??? That’s why they’re your advisors????

- PREACH SANSA CLAPBACK ON THAT BITCH BEING A HYPOCRITE

- Uh no a) the northerners accept Sansa pretty well they actually like her and b) you’re not doing a damn good job of it dumb bitch

- Uh the family that destroyed Sansa was your family dumb bitch

- Is this bitch really making the excuse that she was manipulated?¿?

- This bitch big stupid

- This scene literally reminds me of high school like Dany literally reminds me of those fake ass bitches who were sickly sweet just to get what they want from me like wtf Dany is so obviously fake that it makes me cringe

- BREAKER OF CHAINS MY ASS THE NORTH BROKE THEIR OWN CHAINS AND NOW YOU WANNA PUT THEM BACK ON DUMB BITCH EHHA (read that ehha as Cardi B)

- THEOOOOOOON YAS

- I love how he just ignores Dany and is like SANSA I WANNA SERVE U BB

- Suddenly I ship Theonsa

- This Theonsa hug is all I have ever needed in life

- Isn’t that the thief from Merlin?

- I love that little Irish girl who’s like “imma fight give me a sword” like is this Arya 2.0??

- I heart Gilly

- “I’ll defend the crypt then” YES YOU WILL LIL HUNNY YOU’LL DO A DAMN GOOD JOB OF IT TOO

- EDDAAAAAAAY AND TORMUND YAS MY FAVE BITCHES

- Tormund is like surprise bitch you getta hug me first

- Beric is basically that cool as fuck and chill as hell uncle

- “The big woman”

- We love a Jon Snow pep talk

- Bran is like “hi yeah I’d like to be uhhh bait”

- Damn Samwell you didn’t have to flex on us like that with that deep thinking aight

- YES THEON REDEMPTION ARC AS FUCK

- Noooooo let Tyrion fight you ain’t his boss bitch (I mean you are but)

- Need it for what? Taking over the north?

- “No one’s ever tried” hehe I’m in danger

- Stark fam looking badass as fuck

- Walkout #2 isn’t as smooth but still acceptable

- “It’s a long story” bitch I got time start talking

- I CACKLED when those girls walked away from Missandei like I felt bad but that was just such a “you can’t sit with us” moment

- CAN GREY WORM AND MISSANDEI JUST GO TO NARTH AND STAY THERE FOREVER AND GROW OLD TOGETHER PLEASE

- WE WILL PROTECT YOU IM CRYINGGGGG

- Ghost is that you homie????

- Awww the Nights Watch reunion made me tear up a lil

- Sam’s like “I AINT NO BITCH I KILLED A WHITE WALKER KILLED A THENN AND STOLE BOOKS FROM THE CITADEL IM THE BADDEST BITCH AROUND”

- I love this banter with my whole entire heart

- i miss grenn and pyp so much I’m crying grenn was my pre-Pod husband

- I love Lannister brother moments so much they are so pure

- Oprah is handing out redemption arcs left and right wOw

- PODRICK HE IS A MAN NOW HE IS MY HUSBAND HE IS JUST SO SEXY NOW

- CACKLINGGGGG “half a cup” pours in half the wine jug

- What a squad

- TORMUND MAKES ME LAUGH SO FUCKIN MUCH

- He’s the awkward kid who tells weird stories and then does weird shit

- “Kingslayer get it right” - Jaime on the inside

- Everyone just has a “wtf” look on their face and I’m dying

- I. AM. CACKLING. AT. TORMUND. SEND HELP

- I fucking love Sandor with my entire heart and soul

- “I fought for you didn’t I?” Touche you got her there

- *sandor doesn’t get to sit by himself* fINE WHY DOESNT THE WHOLE FUCKING NORTH COME SIT BY ME TOO HUH IF YOU ALL WANT TO. CROWD. ME HUH???

- “I’m not gonna sit with you old shits I’m gonna go fuck a bull I mean uhhhhh I gotta go ”

- Arya being lowkey jealous makes me cackle like a witch

- “Is that your first time?” “Well yeah Arya I don’t put leeches all over my dick every time I get home wtf”

- YES ARYA GET THAT DICK HUNTY YASS RIDE HIM TO STORMS END HUNTY YAAAAAAS

- ARYA IS DOM AND GENDRY IS SUB PASS IT ON

- Arya having her first time be CONSENSUAL and with someone she loves makes me happy as fUCK

- GENDRY IS THE PUREST MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR (only after Pod though)

- All I want at this point in my life is for Podrick to hold me in his big strong arms like I just wanna cuddle him fUCK

- “Not a Ser?? Why the fuck not get outta here with that bullshit”

- “I never wanted to be a knight” Podrick: I call bULLSHIT

- Tormund is supportive of Brienne even when she’s dating another guy he doesn’t even care

- WE WAITED SO LONG FOR BRIENNE AND JAIME TO HAVE A ROMANTIC AND INTIMATE MOMENT AND WE GOT AND BRIENNE EVEN GOT WHAT SHE DESERVES OUT OF IT

- Podrick is Brienne’s proud son I am living for it

- BRIENNE’S SMILE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND PRECIOUS THING ON THIS WHOLE ENTIRE EARTH IT MUST BE PROTECTED

- Honestly Tormund just wants to see Brienne happy and successful and tbh I don’t think he would care if that meant that she was with Jaime

- I stg if anything happens to babygirl Lyanna i will throw fists she looks like such a little bad ass in her armor omg she’s adorable

- Yeah Jorah you don’t gotta wield it in Randals memory he was kind of an asshole

- Can Podrick sing me to sleep every night please holy fUCK

- Theonsa? Check. Gendrya? Check. Grey Worm and Missandei? Check. Podrick making my whole self thirsty for him? Check.

- Uhhh Daenerys are you not gonna be concerned that you were idk fuckin your nephew or maybe that you aren’t the last Targaryen???? Maybe something important like that not the Iron fucking Throne???

- This bitch really thinks that Bran and Sam were lying hAh she drank a lot of dumb bitch juice this episode

- Daenerys is like those anti-vaxxers or flat earthers who refuse to see the facts

- Fun fact: episode 3 is going to tear out my heart and soul, put them in a blender, and then fucken shook it until it exploded like a coke with a mento in it

- I read somewhere that said something to the effect of characters who don’t learn from the past are doomed to repeat it and that sounds like Dany w/ the Mad King to me rn

- Honestly every time Dany talked in this episode I got pissed off so that’s not good

- People be like “aw this episode was so boring” like bITCH ARE YALL MISSING THESE GREAT DOMESTIC MOMENTS?? GAME OF THRONES ISNT ALL STABBY AND SHIT IT CAN BE NICE FOR ONCE

- This episode made my heart full and I’m going to cry

- Ummmmm in case y’all haven’t seen in Dan Portman (Podrick) posted on his Instagram and it may or may not be a spoiler and if it is then I’ll kill myself

#game of thrones #game of thrones spoilers #got spoilers #gotspoilers

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josiejourney · 6 years ago

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October 19, 2018

Today my only class was Italian -- it was so fun omg we listened to this song called “Il Congiuntivo” and it’s so funny. Basically the subjunctive (congiuntivo) is the worst verb tense ever because it doesn’t exist in English (not really) and I remember hating it in Spanish too. But Fiorenza is such a baller and a great teacher; this song helps and yeah overall just a great start to the day. After class, we grabbed a quick lunch and went to Siena. We initially wanted to go to San Gimignano on Friday afternoon, and Siena on Saturday, but the buses to get to San Gimignano are actual trash and make me hate everything about public transit in Italy so we had to call a quick audible.

Siena is LIT. I loved it there. Austin and I were both like, “We need to come back here.” And I wish I could be more articulate about why I liked it so much...I think since I’d learned about it before actually visiting (the contrade, the Palio, the civic pride, etc.) it was really neat to see in person, and everything lived up to that expectation. There are flags everywhere representing the different districts (there are 17 in this little place!) and everyone’s hooting and hollering on the streets, singing songs -- it’s great. I think the civic pride was a little heightened because the Palio is tomorrow; I don’t want to give an Italian history lesson here on this blog but go ahead and Google “Palio” and/or watch the fabulous Netflix documentary called Palio to learn about this insane horse race. There was a practice run today for the real thing tomorrow, and the entire town square was just mobbed. Truly, the Senese are crazy.

We got home around 7pm, ate with our host family, and went out to celebrate our friend Eric’s 21st birthday. We went to this local place called James Joyce (lol I know weird but it’s an Irish pub) that our host sister recommended (and lots of other people too) and we SAW ONE OF THE STANFORD STAFF MEMBERS THERE. ALESSIO! WE LOVE ALESSIO SO FREAKING MUCH. I guess we know it’s a truly good local place if Alessio goes there.

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buckleyy--diazz · 6 years ago

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OMG the fandom questions were made for me to ask lol :D Here goes: A, B, K, N, R, T, U, V ... SORRY ITS HARD NOT TO ASK THEM ALL. And I'm avoiding certain ones because I already know your answer 100% for sure and we don't want a fandom-apocalypse! lol

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed. Do you have like 3 days...no for real?! You know what you get yourself into... Obviously there is Narry (not surprising). But there is also Lirry, Niam, Liam/Harry/Niall, Zarry, Ziam, Lilo, Ziall, Hendes and Gryles oh and I have a soft spot for Niall/Nick. I could go on and on but I decided to just keep this in the same fandom. Hahaha!B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind. Honestly...all the ship above. I never ever thought about them and I fell in to the fandom and ALL the ship hit me in the face. K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc? I was gonna give you a non 1D answer for this one but no. I would say Harry. He went from that boy who thought he would always cared what people think of him and even cried about it because it obviously broke his heart to care so much about this to the boy we see on stage now. Who obviously doesn't carr and can finally be exactly who he wanna be and tells people every night to do the exact same thing, to be exactly who they want to be. He's being the person he needed when he was younger and he tells these people what he needed to hear and it warms my heart.N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice). Just more love. There is so much hate going on in fandom in general and this goes for all fandom. R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom? Ummm...I love them all. Refer to point "A" and you have your answer. Yes I ship them all but they also all have great friendship and I just love them all.T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? Yes, Niall and Harry are in love and will always be no matter what happened. They might have been a few bump in the road but they belong together and they always will. U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites. Ooooh...Brooke Davis (OTH), she will always be a fave! She's just the best! That's all! She is badass and I love her. Isabelle Lightwood (Shadowhunters), she is my badass queen and the love of my life! She can kick ass in amazing high heels but she is also extremely smart. Stiles Stilinski (Teen Wolf), it's probably all the sarcasm thst got me!V - Which character do you relate to most? Ummm...I don't know. Probably Stiles, because of the sarcasm haha! For real, I never really related with characters in Teen Wolf or Shadowhunters and my main fandom now...well I don't know, maybe Niall because food and sarcasm and the fact I am part Irish hahaha!Thank you for playing 😘😘😘

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mind-body-and-spirit · 6 years ago

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I’m bored ignore me

Describe your current mood/feelings

I feel awful. I’m so unhappy in my current situation and I got a glimpse of what it’s like to be outside of it and I can’t wait to make that happen.

Which is your favourite country that you’ve been to?

Ireland probably.

What are the first things you notice when you look at/meet someone?

Smile and usually eyes but I haven't been great at that lately.

Have you ever been in love/are you in love currently?

I have been in love, I’m not currently.

Are you currently in a relationship?

I am not.

Would you ever date someone online?

I’d date someone that I met online but not someone I couldn't be with in person.

Is there anyone of your friends that you would ever consider having sex with?

Yes.

Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?

Night is more my thing.

What side of the bed do you sleep on?

Left.

Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?

LOL no.

Would you choose love or money?

Right now, money probably except for one person that I would choose over that.

When did you lose your virginity?

When I was 18.

Do you prefer men or women?

Men usually but gender really doesn't matter to me. I’m attracted to personalities.

Do you have a sex playlist?

No but I’ve heard someone else’s and I am totally into it.

When was the last time you had sex?

Saturday 🙊

Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?

Yes.

Where is the most romantic place you would want to have sex?

When I picture romantic sex it’s usually in a bed, sooooo.

Where is the weirdest place you would want to have sex?

Balcony.

What would you do if you were ever caught having sex?

Depends who caught us.

Would you ever go to a bar just to get sex?

I’d go to a bar to flirt.

Has anyone ever tried to pick you up in a bar?

Yes.

Would you have sex in a movie theater?

YES that’s so risky I dig it.

Would you have sex outside?

I would as long as its not dirty.

Would you have sex in a bathroom?

Probably.

Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?

There’s pics of me out there.

Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?

Not physically said it but I have thought of someone else and almost said it.

Would you ever use ‘toys’ in bed?

I would.

What would you do if your partner suggest a threesome?

I’m down.

How many people have you slept with?

(1/2) If your lover/crush were in your bed right now, what would you do?

Sex probably.

(2/2) Then?

CUDDLE he’s great at that and probably talk a lot.

What are your favorite bands?

Set it off, Beartooth, Grayscale, As it Is, Mayday Parade.

What are your favorite singers?

Barret Wilbert Weed, Taylor Louderman, Carrie Hope Fletcher, I’m obsessed with the Broadway stars right now.

What are your favorite albums?

I’m LOVING the Mean Girls Cast Recording right now, also Dear Evan Hansen and Heathers. Only Human by Calum Scott is pretty good, and The Greatest Showman.

What are your favorite songs?

Would You Be So Kind - dodie

Someone Gets Hurt, Revenge Party, World Burn, I’d Rather Be Me, and Apex Predator all from Mean Girls

Requiem, Waving Through a Window,and You Will Be Found all from DEH

And I’m gonna stop now because this list could go on forever.

What is the best concert you’ve ever been to?

Oh gosh. Can I cheat and say Warped?

How did you first find out about your favorite band/singer?

Okay top two: I found SIO by accident at the mall in Hot Topic in 2009. Loved them ever since. And I found Barrett through Heathers.

If someone asks you what music they should check out, what are your go-to recommendations?

Usually SIO unless were talking about musicals.

What was your first concert? if you haven’t been to one, what do you want your first concert to be?

Omg Hilary Duff when I was like 8 probably.

How do live performances, whether they’re from your friends or professionals, tend to make you feel?

SO HAPPY

Singing in the shower or singing in the car?

Both but I sing in the car more. I only sing in the shower when I’m home alone, but I love that more cause acoustics and the steam is good for the voice.

If you could pick one instrument to learn how to play, what would it be?

Trumpet!

What is your singing voice like? what singers do you remind yourself of?

I’m a mezzo/alto. I try my hardest to be like Barrett tbh.

Have you ever been involved in any music programs? which ones and for how long?

Uh yeah like all through high school and college.

Which instruments do you know how to play? what’s your skill level?

Flute/picc - advanced but I’m probably a bit rusty since I haven’t practiced in a while.

Piano, guitar, and ukulele - self taught/beginner

How do you feel about video game soundtracks?

I like them if they’re super dark/edgy cause it’s fun to dance to.

What soundtracks do you enjoy listening to the most?

Mean Girls, Heathers, DEH, Man of La Mancha, basically any musical.

How do you feel about musicals?

You’ve probably figured this out already but I live for them.

What are some songs whose lyrics you relate to?

Would You Be So Kind - dodie

Are You There? - Bare (taken out of context, of course)

parts of Beautiful - Heathers

Breathe In Breathe Out - Tich

I’d Rather Be Me - Mean Girls

Someday - Zombies (taken out of context)

Do you prefer songs that have good melodies or songs that have good lyrics?

BOTH. I usually really like songs that feel good to sing (good melodies) but I will download and listen to a song just for the lyrics.

Look at your country’s song charts, listen to the first unfamiliar song you can find, and share your opinion on it.

Billboard Top 100 said Psycho - Post Malone. And I hated it.

Any cover versions that you think are better than the original?

Chandelier - PVRIS from Punk Goes Pop

Uptown Funk - Against The Current & SIO

How often do you listen to music?

Literally every day.

How do you feel about classical music?

I love it.

Would you ever want to have a career in music?

I think it would be fun but like realistically probably not.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how important is music to you?

16.5 I couldn’t live without it.

How do you feel about rap music?

Not a fan.

How has music affected you as a person?

It’s been my life since like 6th grade so it pretty much made me who I am.

What songs do you listen to when you’re sad?

I just listen to Mean Girls all the time

But sometimes Bare bc sad

What songs do you listen to when you’re in a great mood?

Still Mean Girls.

What songs do you listen to when you’re getting ready for sports/to work out?

Anything from Mean Girls (do you see a trend here?)

What is your favorite movie?

The Kissing Booth was good, The Greatest Showman, I mostly listen to music.

What are you currently watching on Netflix/Hulu?

Skins UK (for the second time)

What shows have you finished?

13 Reasons Why, Grey’s, The Fosters, Misfits, Skins UK, Dance Academy, Degrassi, Backstage

Do you binge watch shows on Netflix or Hulu?

Netflix if I can find a good one. Hulu is for episodes that I missed when they aired.

What colour palette are you most drawn to?

Cool tones. Blues, purples, silver, but also rose gold.

What other country would you move to if you could?

Ireland or England

Which accent do you find most attractive?

IRISH

Would you rather be able to shapeshift or teleport?

Teleporting would solve a lot of my problems.

Would you do a destination wedding? where at?

Does Disney World count?

Dream honeymoon?

....Disney World.

Which celebrity’s voice do you wish you had?

BARRETT

Would you rather live on a beach, mountaintop, on a farm, in the city, or in the forest?

The middle of a big city.

Do you still want to be what you dreamed of as a kid?

No I wanted to be a marine biologist and work at Sea World.

Would you rather live in a functional tree house, a rustic but renovated barn, and old stone cottage, a tiny house, an antique victorian character home, or an artistic cob home?

Antique victorian character home with an updated interior that's modern but still preserves the charm.

What do you want your life to look like in 1 year?

Living in a big city (preferably Baltimore or DC) and having a real job.

4 favourite youtubers?

I've really been into Shane Dawson and the squad lately. Also Soph (Sophdoesnails), Shelby’s DCP vlogs, and Sophie Lousie

What would your absolute dream partner look like?

Goofy smile, bright eyes (not necessarily in color, but like they light up when they’re excited and have life to them), taller than me, got meat on his bones

What would your absolute dream partner be like?

Sweet, an absolute nerd, adorable, knows how to charm the heck out of me, ambitious (I’m describing someone if you haven't caught on yet)

7 names that you really love?

James, Amelia, Sophie, Noah, Riley, Madison/Maddie, Samuel

Do you like your name? what would you change it to if you could?

No I hate it, I’d change it to Elizabeth which is my middle name.

What is your biggest but most impossible-seeming dream in life?

Living in the middle of NYC

Do you collect anything? why’d you start?

Tsum Tsums because they’re cute af and I can’t resist, and I really want to start collecting pins.

When you’re hanging out in your room, do you usually sit on the bed, a chair, the floor, or somewhere else?

Bed.

How many pillows are on your bed?

6 because I bought all of the pillows for the apartment aside from the two he brought and I took them when I left.

Do you share a room with anybody? Have you ever (as in long term, not a sleep over)?

I don’t currently, but I shared with Lexi when were little, I had roommates for 3/4 years of college, and I shared with Nick in our apartment until the end.

Are there any posters or artwork on your walls? What are they?

I have an SIO poster, a One Direction poster, posters of the 5SOS boys, and a Callahan family crest from Ireland. (I really need to redecorate).

Where do you keep your clothes?

Dresser and closet (and the laundry basket of unfolded clothes that never seems to get emptied)

What color are your walls?

Purple.

Is your mattress on a frame or the floor?

On a frame.

What position do you sleep in?

On my side usually but I can sleep in all positions really.

What’s your favorite part of your room?

My bed.

What’s your least favorite part of your room?

It’s a god damn mess right now and that it heats up with the morning sun so it’s always hot.

How many hours a day on average do you spend in your room?

LOL way too many.

Have you ever been told that you spend too much time in your room/never go outside/live in your room/etc?

Yeah all the time.

Is there a desk in your room? Do you actually use it for homework?

There is and no I literally don’t but I should.

Is there a tv in your room?

Yes there’s a TV in my room.

If your bedroom could look any way you want, forgetting cost and practicality, what would it look like?

Clean and Tumblr-y

Do you put stuff under your bed?

I don’t try to but stuff ends up under there.

If you play an instrument, do you practice in your room or somewhere else?

When I was in college I rarely practiced in my room. If I do practice now (rarely) I do it in the living room.

Do you charge your phone next to your bed?

On my bed.

How many windows are in your room?

Just 1.

Do you have a private/connected bathroom?

No I wish.

Do you keep makeup, jewelry, lotion, perfume/cologne, and hair stuff in your room or the bathroom?

It’s in my room. I keep it all in the Alex 5 drawers from IKEA.

What is your dream job?

HR but I’ve also been super interested in marketing lately? Also interior design or wedding planner.

What’s your favorite sport to watch on TV?

Baseball but also hockey? I’ve never been a hockey fan until I started watching the Preds in the playoffs this year and I’m totally into it now.

Who is your favorite athlete?

Nick Castellanos 😍

Have you ever been in love?

I have.

Do you currently love someone?

It’s unrequited and complicated so I just say no usually.

Do you want a relationship?

Not right now. In the future, yes.

How long was your longest relationship?

Over 2 years.

How long does it take for you to know you love someone?

Not long.

Is it special to you if your s/o meets your parents?

Depends on the situation. Like for my exes it wasn’t but if I started dating someone in Tennessee it would be different cause my parents live 500+ miles away.

Do you watch Game of Thrones?

I’ve watched parts of it.

Have you ever been to Michigan?

Lived here for most of the 22 years I’ve been alive.

Have you ever went on a road trip with a boyfriend?

Nick and I drove back to Michigan once but we were mad at each other the whole time so there's that.

Do you support abortion?

I have no say over what someone else does with their body.

Are you an extrovert or an introvert?

Introvert hardore.

Glitter or feathers?

GLITTER

Daisies or buttercups?

Daisies

Have you ever self harmed?

Yes.

Are you more rational or emotional?

Emotional lmao.

What’s something you love to do but feel guilty about after/during?

Inevitably someone makes me feel bad every time I have sex with someone I’m not dating.

Have you ever had sex with someone you weren’t dating (but had feelings for) in the hopes that they would ask you out later?

Lol, not for that reason, although I would love it if he did ask me out.

Do you ever turn your phone off because you don’t want to talk?

The only time I ever did that was after Ashlyn died because I was mad at Nick because he wouldn’t stop playing video games with his friends to come over.

Have you ever been to a gay pride parade?

Not a parade but I went to the pride festival in DC this past weekend.

Would you take your dream job if it were out of the country?

More than likely. I’m in a position where I could right now.

What is your zodiac sign?

Libra

What do you like to do when you’re home alone?

Sing very loudly.

Should the guy always pay for the date?

No. I’m hella independent and most of the time I hate when other people pay for shit.

What kind of music calms you down?

Most music calms me down.

Who did you last go to a park with?

I went walking on a path/river thing with sunshine this past weekend. It’s not really a park but like idk?

Have you ever been robbed?

My iPod got stolen when I was like 12.

When was the last time you were on an airplane?

Last week.

Are you currently crushing on someone?

Yeah.

Do you think your crush likes you back?

I actually don’t know how he feels? I know he liked me at one time and then a thing happened and we accepted that we couldn’t actually be together but then we were together and it felt really right and I don’t know how he feels now.

Is anyone currently crushing on you?

Other than him probably not.

Have you ever been in a long term relationship?

Yes two.

Have you ever been asked out?

Yes.

Have you ever asked someone out?

I've pushed someone to ask me out but that’s the closest.

Have you ever kissed your crush?

Yes.

Has your crush ever kissed you?

Yes.

Are you more of a flirt or a hopeless romantic?

Both

Do you have a crush on the person you last kissed?

Yes.

Have you ever confessed your feelings knowing they were unrequited?

Lol story of my life.

If the person you like/love was with you right now, what would you say/do?

Um we would probably be cuddling and talking or kissing honestly.

Have you ever broken up with someone?

Yes.

Have you ever been broken up with?

Not officially. Only for a break and then he begged for me to take him back.

Do you like cuddling?

I LOVE IT

Have you ever had romantic feelings for a best friend?

That’s usually how it works for me.

Tell me about your crush:

Hair color?

Brown

Eye color?

Brown or green(? I’m pretty sure they’re brown and I suck I know)

Age?

We’re the same age but he will not tell me his birthday so

Build?

He’s a little bit taller than me, he’s not scrawny but he’s not big either, like the perfect dad bod.

Clothing style?

He barely has any clothes. He wears like jeans and t shirts and shorts he can find on sale basically.

Stereotype?

He's a TOTAL nerd and I’m so into it.

Hobbies?

Computer stuff. He likes techy stuff and board games.

Are they your type?

I don’t really have a type. He's got a killer personality and he’s SO sweet and charming and that’s what gets me.

When did you started liking them?

Like January I think?

Do you talk to him/her everyday?

Not everyday.

Do you talk about them to your friends?

Yes Colby lets me talk about him all the time.

Do you like hearing their voice?

Yeah, it’s nice.

Do you like receiving text messages from them?

Um, yeah? That seems like a weird question.

Do you like their laugh/giggles?

His laugh is adorable.

When you see them, are you shy?

NO he makes me feel so comfortable. I’ve never felt so comfortable around someone I wasn’t dating.

One day will you be with him/her?

Honestly, probably not but maybe?

Do you get jealous when he/she talks to the opposite sex?

No. This is weird, but we actually encourage each other to get out there and be with other people since we really can’t have each other and we’ve accepted that.

Will you wait for him/her, to be yours?

I honestly don't want anything right now, so I’m willing to wait for now. Once I’m settled and know what I want in life I’ll move on if were still not together.

Are they more shy or outgoing?

He's outgoing

Y'all have the same group of friends?

Does your crush smell nice?

I mean, yeah. He doesn’t wear cologne or body spray or anything but his normal human smell was nice?

Does your crush have a nice smile?

That goofy smile tho (yes).

Are they kind to you?

Yes he is SO sweet it hurts.

Are y'all considered friends or acquaintances?

We’re friends.

When’s the last time you saw them?

Saturday.

Do you have their phone number?

Yeah but we usually talk through snapchat.

Is your crush talkative or more of a listener?

He's a talker but he’s a good listener too.

Can they speak more than one language?

90% sure he can speak at least some German.

Where did y'all meet?

Work.

Do they live close to you?

No. He's literally over 500 miles away.

Have you ever been to their house? How about their bedroom?

Yes and yes.

Do you even vaguely believe your crush is interested in you?

I answered this earlier. It’s complicated.

If given the chance, would you have sex with them?

Yes.

Have you ever hugged or kissed your crush?

Yes.

Ever seen em naked? Do you wanna?

I have, and I wouldn’t say no to doing it again.

Does your crush have long hair?

No it’s super short.

Do you think you’ll lose contact with your crush within 5 years?

I hope not but maybe.

Is your crush more naughty or good/innocent?

He can be both.

Is your crush gay/straight/bisexual/transgender?

When I asked him he said “bi-ish” so

Is your crush a freak? Sexually speaking…

I’d call it adventurous and experienced.

Is your crush a virgin?

No.

Do they have any pets?

No.

Do they have a job? If so, where do they work?

Yes he has a job at a company which I’m not going to name.

Do you know if they have an STD or not?

If he does he hasn’t told me, and it’s kind of common courtesy to tell someone you have an STD if you sleep with them sooooo

What kind of music are they into?

Um, rock probably? He also likes musicals so there’s that.

Their fave color? If you don’t know just guess

His favorite color is blue (even though he’s blue/green colorblind).

How long have you known em?

Less than a year.

Their fave type of food? Guess if you don’t know

I don’t know but probably like burgers cause he tried to take me to a bar for food.

When will you see your crush again?

Quite possibly never which is literally awful to think about. Hopefully sometime in the future.

Is your crush extremely confident?

He’s pretty confident.

What’s ultimately stopping you from making them yours?

Distance.

#mine

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ellaintrigue · 4 years ago

Photo

Trigger Warning

This fall was like summer, an Indian summer if you will, chilly at night, warm during the day. I squeezed in more time in my dry-rotted kiddy pool and drank some more beers. I limit beer to holidays and summer because they are gross and fattening. One day I got off work a bit early and went to the nearby small town grocery store, grabbing some nibbles in the truck. Once bought to work in, my truck is now more of a toy and is listed like-so on my insurance plan. In 1998 my dad’s work helper had a candy striped Chevy Silverado and I wanted a square-body like that ever since. No joke, I have loved vehicles since I was around 4 years old. I had Barbie Dolls, pet toads, pet snails, and a ton of little toy cars. My grandmother spoiled me rotten by buying me a toy every Sunday, either a Barbie or a Hot Wheels car. I still have both, the dolls are put away now but little cars still litter my room on shelves.

Driving my truck home from the store that last truly warm day of the year felt good, the sound of the engine and little vibrations like old trucks do. One speaker is fucked up, both rusted and water damaged from the former windshield leak and having had no window. But most music comes in clear and as I scanned the radio, “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles came on... “Strawberries..” he sighed. I mostly listen to country music but we’re stuck in a generation of boxes: listening to country isn’t cool, and listening to pop music IS SO ICKY, OMG BOYBANDS? LOL SO LAME. Everyone is stuck on “obscure” hipster shit to sound cool, but hey fam, I like what I like.

I stuck a hand out the window zipping down 113 and hummed along with the song, my hair whipping slightly. If you ever want to be free, get in an old car and feel its power. Mine may be a rusting piece of shit but they don’t make them like they used to. Cars will always be my first love... I am not sure about men anymore.

When I got home I did two hours of chores, grabbed a beer and lay down in the pool for one last time this year... and played “Watermelon Sugar” again, then Ray LaMontagne’s “For The Summer” which was a favorite of mine... a decade ago? I caught a nice buzz and lay down in bed later on feeling nice and clean although my pool doesn’t have the prettiest water. More “Watermelon Sugar” and then S messaged me. I never hear from him, never met him, but it’s good to know they’re still out there... people that care enough to say hi and make me feel smile for a moment. A limber, attractive Irishman with big chocolate eyes.

Some nights my memories slide back to little moments like my hand caressing the shoulder of a plain worn work shirt and resting my face against my ex’s neck after a long day. But I don’t get that anymore, times have changed. There’s no ex, there’s no S, just scrambled fantasies in my head. Only one man has my phone number. Four people have my phone number: him, mom, dad, and my cousin. I can’t really text.

In 2016 I met Dothan and gave him my phone number so we could talk while we were at work. I had one of those little flat-faced pre-paid phones that was so small that I could almost fully enclose it in my fist. I don’t know what on earth they’re called, but they were like a flip phone without the flip part, lol. Anyway, I was so invested in him that I bought my first smartphone that summer so I didn’t have to pay per text (I’m old damnit, leave me alone) and didn’t have to tap tap tap to get to each letter. Well, he didn’t work out of course but I used the phone to talk to some other men until I met Jeff.

Then I cut my fingertip off. This was one of the stupidest things that have ever happened to me, and just like in my previous blog where people will say I wasn’t assaulted, people will say it never happened. In 2010 when I was stupid and binge drank I gave myself alcohol poisoning and my boyfriend at the time said I was making it up. I guess people live in a perpetual state of distrust... but anywho, I have hypoglycemia, another thing that never happens according to my parents, because I haven’t gotten diagnosed. Which is fair, no one believed me about having PTSD until I got professionally diagnosed either. Sorry, I ramble off the topic. I have so much in my head...

Ever since I was about 14 I started getting weak, dizzy, and light-headed if I delayed meals. After 6 hours without food I start to feel disoriented, faint, and slur my words. So I have to drink some juice or eat something sugary then get to some real food or I’ll just shut down and start to pass out. It’s pretty serious, when I was 20 it hit me while driving and I couldn’t feel my gas or brake pedal and nearly crashed at full speed into a guardrail at the end of a rural intersection. I managed to wake up enough to find my brake so I was incredibly lucky because I could have been killed. This is the first time I’ve ever talked about it, the only person I told was that boyfriend from back then, the original Irish prick. And he was kind and comforted me, letting me know that sometimes shit happens when we are off guard. Since then I’ve always tried to make sure I wasn’t compromised while driving because driving with low blood sugar is just as bad as driving drunk. (And yes, I have been checked for diabetes.)

In 2017 I got distracted and forgot to eat so I started shaking and having trouble walking. I went into the kitchen and got out some vacuum sealed fish out of the freezer to fry up for lunch. The way they were packaged was hard to open so I had to use a knife, one of my cheap plastic handled serrated ones. I like them because they are really sharp for junk knives.

Really sharp. So I held the fish with my left hand and quickly slid the knife between the fish and the plastic. And took the very tip of my left index finger off. I didn’t realize what I had done until blood started pouring everywhere and I started screaming like a stuck pig. I’m not really a screamer but that day I was. I wrapped it in a towel and called my mom like the big pussy I am. “MOM I CUT MY FINGERTIP OFF.” She asked me some things and soothed me then I got off the phone and looked at it. The fingertip, mind you, not a large amount of it, but just the very tip, was hanging off by a thin piece of skin and flesh. There wasn’t anything to stitch, just a fleshy hole and the flesh of my fingertip dangling. There was only one thing I could think to do.

I reached into the drawer and picked up one of those big heavy cartoonish looking pairs of kitchen shears and cut my fingertip the rest of the way off. And I could feel it and hear this noise as it snipped through the little piece of flesh holding it on. I screamed some more, grabbed some peroxide and squirted it on the end of my finger which intensified my howling. I screamed for about 25 minutes total. And you know, I’ve had people that have told me it’s nothing, there are plenty of people with their whole fingertip missing or whole fingers. But in a group I’m in they say it’s not worth comparing traumas. Cutting your whole finger off is obviously way worse, but that day was absolutely awful for me. I went to work the next day and showed my boss and she stepped back in shock and almost threw up into her hand.

I wasn’t able to text using the finger after that and by 2018 I ended up with lack of sensation in all of my fingertips due to damage caused by Ciprofloxacin, which I was on for years, also causing tendon damage. So I stopped texting people after my last ex left me. I can’t feel the screen so I jumble my words and my finger hurts. I can literally still feel it even when not touching anything. My fingerprint is missing under where my nail starts and the bone is closer to the skin now. So I don’t give out my number, I just use FaceBook messenger.

This morning I stepped out into the remaining light snow from yesterday and watched the sun rise, my shoulders hunched in my fuzzy white jacket. My New Dawn rose is still trying to bloom despite being frozen, as it does every year. Man, I wish I was tough like that.

Wishing user “HereForTheHarold” a happy New Year’s, you’ve been following me for a long time and I appreciate that. I know you’re a big Harry Styles fan.

#Watermelon Sugar #Music #Vibes #Gore #Random #Roses #Memories #Trauma #Song #Fingertip #Health #Struggle #2020 #Ramble #Summer

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