#old men suck /j

[starrysunsetz]

Tw: Some ranting and daddy issues

It genuinely pisses me off how my father just doesn't put any effort in anymore. I have the amazing opportunity to go vist THE space center in Houston, Texas, paied for though my school. Before I say anything, I'm extremely extactic about it. Like honestly, this makes my inner child so so so happy. My dad brings up this trip to me, and explains how there was this camp that NASA hosts for teens to get hands-on experience to "train" how astronauts do. It's really like a day in the life for an astronaut type event. He also explains how he wanted to take me to this, but didn't think I would enjoy it, so he would probably take my brother instead. I think its a great opportunity for my brother and I hope that my dad does take him. But this physically hurts me. I have no idea how he doesn't think I wouldn't enjoy it. Like, my first hyperfixation was on space and the stars when I was like 7. I've always had the love for space, and I've EXPRESSED this multiple times, especially to him. I'm genuinely baffled how much he doesn't know about me. It honestly feels like we're strangers. Anyways, the daddy issues are hitting hard today !!

[gutsby]

Diehard

Pairing: dbf!Joel x Reader

Summary: Joel tries Viagra for the very first time.

Warnings: 18+. Unprotected p-in-v. Erectile dysfunction. Daddy kink. Praise kink if you squint. Overstimulation. Cumplay. She/her pussy pronouns. Pushing physical limits with a pre-negotiated safe word in place for it.

Note: No more limp dick erasure. We die like [old] men.

Part of the Waiting Game ‘verse | Word count: 986

Joel just wanted to prove he could fuck like he used to.

He didn’t think he’d almost kill you in the process.

“JOEL!” you screeched, heels digging deep in the mattress as your climax came in seismic waves.

The stimulation was insane. Normally the much-older man would have been down for the count after two—and usually one—big O, but now his chest was heaving, hips relentlessly beating a punishing pace against your own.

Your walls were slick with not only your cum but his, milky ropes of his arousal making for an obscene set of sounds every time his dick slid in and out of your cunt. You could feel his balls tighten and twitch with every forthcoming spurt of him, practically reeling with the pulse of each new sticky gift inside you. His groans rumbled low, but the power and pleasure and outright primal fervor they conveyed were unmistakeable. You had to look down, feebly, to believe it yourself—Joel never fucked his way through your orgasm and his.

Then you felt a palm slide up the back of your head, and Joel held it up to make sure you watched him fuck you.

“J-Joel,” you whimpered, watching his girth disappear and reappear at least a half-dozen times as you did.

“Just a little more, honey,” he murmured against your forehead. The smack of each thrust was dizzying, “Want my pretty girl nice and full’a me before she leaves, okay?”

Joel never could let you head back to college without a few of his loads and a head full of filthy memories—something to hold you over until your next visit home. You would’ve liked to mumble back, ‘Okay,’ but then your pussy clenched around him, and his thrusts grew faster.

“My sweet girl,” he grinned, “She likes that, huh?”

You could scarcely manage a nod. The weight of your head was held fully by him, and if that wasn’t indicative enough of your fucked-out state, your face surely said the rest. When Joel leaned back to adjust the angle of his thrusts, he caught sight of your hooded, glossy stare and almost came all over again. He slowed his pace for once.

Then he dipped a finger between your body and his, just long enough to douse the tip of his digit with cum. He bottomed out inside you, watched you part your lips in a gentle gasp, and pressed his touch to that open space.

It was almost like you didn’t have the strength to suck. You just let him smear the sticky stuff along your lower lip, gaze plastered to his. Then Joel’s cock sank deeper.

“O-ow!” you whined, partly reanimated by the stretch.

“You can take it,” Joel grunted.

The double entendre wasn’t lost on you. You could, and would, take his finger and his cock inside. You suckled dumbly on the cum-drenched fingertip in assent.

But when Joel’s finger popped out of your mouth and his thrusts picked back up, you weren’t entirely convinced you would be able to hold up the second half of that deal.

It wasn’t fair. He took one magic pill, and poof, his dick stayed hard for half the fucking day. You had nothing but your youth and two shaking legs to ensure your survival. When Joel worked his cock back and forth a couple more times and it seemed your body was about ready to scream, you took hold of his biceps and squeezed tight.

“I can’t.”

“Can’t what?”

The tip of his cock nicked a soft ridge inside you, and you jolted back. Joel’s palm was still pressed to your head, holding you to him, and his hips had you pinned as well.

Instead of answering, you whimpered.

You didn’t want him to stop, but you also weren’t sure if you could handle any more. Your eyes met his, pleading.

“Can’t what?” Joel pressed, a little more sternly.

Another whimper. Inside, Joel’s cock was rubbing that pleasure point raw, and you felt another climax coming.

“Use your words.”

“Too— too—”

Each new thrust was sending stars before your eyes. Joel was one sick man if he tried to make you talk while he fucked you past the point of all intelligible speech.

“Too what? Tell me, baby.”

You’d get that fucker back someday. Joel just grinned.

“Too much,” you hissed when his hips delivered another mind-numbing push. Then, feeling pleasure threaten to peak at almost a painful degree, “Toomuchtoomucht—”

Joel continued thrusting, knowing damn well you knew what to say if you really wanted him to stop. As if to underscore this point, he tipped your head back and made you hold his gaze, features creased with a frown.

“That sure don’t sound like the safe word to me.”

It wasn’t. You knew it wasn’t. He didn’t need to tell you twice, or even breathe a second word besides. With one more brush of Joel’s thick, throbbing, implausibly hard cock, he sent you over the edge and into your fourth orgasm of the morning, hitting that spot again and again.

And again.

And again.

Just like before, Joel fucked you through each wave, catching your lips this time to stifle your cries. You might’ve gone blind for a second or two, but that was alright; the pleasure, proximity, and then the sweet, erratic pulse of his cock sending rope after rope of his cum deep inside made the overstimulation worthwhile.

Your body went limp against the bed, held tight in Joel’s grasp, when you felt that sickly sweet dichotomy of soft, tender touches and a cock lodged between your walls that was as hard as it had ever been. Still trying to console you with kisses, still trying to warm you up for another round, perhaps, Joel almost laughed out loud in your mouth when you groaned into his and whispered:

“Please don’t ever take that fucking pill again.”

[littleprinces]

Day 11: Threesome F/M/M

STAYC J X OC x OC

Kinkvember Day 11

The neon lights of Seoul's bustling nightlife flickered as Jang Yeeun, a 19-year-old Korean beauty with brown short hair, sipped her drink at the crowded bar. Her slim, athletic figure was accentuated by a red dress that hugged her curves just right. She was here to unwind from her stressful job as a marketing executive, not to pick up men.

Across the room, two men, both 30-year-olds, were engaged in a lively conversation. One was a tall, muscular American named Lucas with short blond hair and blue eyes, the other was a lanky, dark-haired Korean named Min with striking green eyes. They were old friends who had reunited after years apart. Min noticed Yeeun first, nudging Lucas and whispering, "Look at that stunning woman over there."

Lucas followed Min's gaze and smiled. "She's gorgeous. Why don't you go talk to her?"

Min shook his head. "I'm not good at this kind of thing. You should go."

Lucas chuckled. "Alright, but only if you promise to back me up."

As Lucas approached Yeeun, she looked up and met his gaze. He flashed a confident smile and said, "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice you from across the room. I'm Lucas. And you are?"

Yeeun smiled back, amused. "I'm Yeeun. Nice to meet you, Lucas."

Lucas gestured to the empty seat next to her. "Do you mind if I join you?"

"Not at all," Yeeun replied, scooting over to make room.

They chatted easily, the chemistry between them palpable. Lucas was charming and witty, and Yeeun found herself laughing more than she had in months. She was drawn to his confidence and charisma.

Min watched from a distance, smiling at the sight of his friend effortlessly charming Yeeun. He knew Lucas had a way with women, but he also knew that Lucas had a dark side, a side that craved more than just vanilla sex. Min wondered if Yeeun was ready for that.

After an hour of conversation, Lucas leaned in closer to Yeeun. "You know, I'm not the only one who finds you incredibly attractive," he whispered. "My friend over there has been watching us, and he can't take his eyes off you."

Yeeun looked over and met Min's gaze. She felt a shiver run down her spine. "Really?" she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Lucas nodded. "Would you like to meet him? Maybe the three of us could get to know each other better."

Yeeun hesitated for a moment before nodding. "Okay, I'd like that."

Lucas smiled and signaled to Min, who joined them at the table. The three of them talked and laughed late into the night, the air thick with sexual tension.

Eventually, Lucas suggested they move the party back to his hotel room. Yeeun looked at Min, who gave her a reassuring smile. She decided to take a chance.

In the hotel room, the three of them sat on the couch, the air charged with anticipation. Lucas took the lead, kissing Yeeun softly on the lips. She responded eagerly, her body pressing against his. Min watched, his cock hardening in his pants as he imagined what was to come.

Lucas's hands roamed over Yeeun's body, cupping her breasts and squeezing her nipples through the fabric of her dress. Yeeun moaned softly, her breath coming in short gasps. Min moved closer, his hand finding its way to Yeeun's thigh. She spread her legs slightly, giving him better access.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to touch you," Min whispered in her ear. Yeeun shivered, her pussy already wet with anticipation.

Lucas pulled back and looked at Min. "She's all yours, buddy."

Min took over, his lips finding Yeeun's. He kissed her deeply, his tongue exploring her mouth. Yeeun moaned into his kiss, her hands pulling his shirt off. Min broke away and trailed kisses down her neck, her collarbone, her shoulders. He unzipped her dress and slipped it off, revealing her lace bra and panties.

"Fuck, you're beautiful," Lucas said, his voice thick with lust.

Min continued his exploration of Yeeun's body, his mouth finding her nipples through the lace. He sucked and nibbled, making Yeeun squirm with pleasure. Lucas watched, his cock aching in his pants.

Min slipped his hand into Yeeun's panties, finding her already wet pussy. He rubbed her clit, making her gasp and buck her hips. Lucas moved closer, his hand joining Min's in Yeeun's panties. Together, they explored her pussy, their fingers sliding in and out, making Yeeun moan with pleasure.

"You like that, don't you?" Lucas whispered. "You like having two men touch you."

Yeeun nodded, her breath coming in short gasps. "Yes...yes, I do."

Min and Lucas worked together, their hands and mouths exploring every inch of Yeeun's body. They took turns kissing her, their tongues dueling in her mouth. Min slipped off her bra, freeing her breasts. Lucas sucked and licked her nipples while Min fingered her pussy.

Yeeun was a writhing mass of pleasure, her body aching for more. She reached for Lucas's cock, her hand wrapping around the hard length. He groaned, his hips thrusting into her hand. Min slipped off her panties, his fingers playing with her pussy lips.

"You're so wet," he whispered. "I can't wait to taste you."

He moved between her legs, his mouth replacing his fingers. Yeeun cried out as his tongue found her clit, licking and sucking. She bucked her hips, her hands gripping Lucas's cock tighter.

Lucas watched Min eat Yeeun's pussy, his own cock throbbing with desire. He wanted to fuck her, wanted to feel her tight pussy around his cock. But first, he wanted to watch Min make her come.

Min's tongue worked magic on Yeeun's clit, bringing her to the edge of orgasm. She could feel the pleasure building, her body tensing with anticipation. Lucas leaned in, his mouth finding her nipple. He sucked and nibbled, his hand wrapping around her breast.

Yeeun came with a cry, her body convulsing with pleasure. Min licked her pussy, drinking her juices. Lucas moved up, his cock poised at her entrance. He looked into her eyes, asking for permission. Yeeun nodded, her body still trembling with aftershocks.

Lucas slipped inside her slowly, giving her time to adjust to his size. Yeeun moaned, her hands gripping his shoulders. He began to move, his cock sliding in and out of her pussy. Min moved behind her, his cock pressing against her ass.

"You want both of us, don't you?" Min whispered in her ear.

Yeeun nodded, her breath coming in short gasps. "Yes...yes, I do."

Min slipped a finger into her ass, lubing it with her juices. He pushed it in deeper, making Yeeun moan. He added another finger, stretching her. Yeeun pushed back against him, her body ready for more.

Min replaced his fingers with his cock, sliding in slowly. Yeeun gasped, the sensation of being filled by both men overwhelming. Lucas watched, his cock throbbing with desire. He began to move again, his hips thrusting into Yeeun's pussy.

The three of them moved together, their bodies synchronizing. Yeeun could feel both cocks inside her, the pleasure intense. She moaned and cried out, her body aching for more.

Min and Lucas took turns fucking her, their cocks sliding in and out of her pussy and ass. They switched positions, trying different angles and depths. Yeeun was lost in a haze of pleasure, her body on fire.

They moved to the bed, Lucas lying on his back. Yeeun straddled him, her pussy sliding down onto his cock. She rode him, her hips moving in a slow, sensual rhythm. Min knelt behind her, his cock poised at her ass. He slipped in slowly, making Yeeun moan.

The three of them moved together, their bodies slick with sweat. Yeeun could feel both cocks inside her, the pleasure building with each thrust. She rode Lucas's cock, her body tensing with anticipation.

Min reached around, his hand finding her clit. He rubbed it, making Yeeun gasp and buck her hips. The pleasure was too much, too intense. She came with a scream, her body convulsing with the force of her orgasm.

Lucas groaned, his cock throbbing inside her. He came with a groan, his body shuddering with the force of his release. Min followed, his cock pulsing inside her ass.

The three of them collapsed on the bed, their bodies entwined. Yeeun lay between them, her body aching with pleasure. She looked from one man to the other, a smile on her face.

"That was...incredible," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Lucas and Min smiled, their eyes filled with satisfaction. They had found something special in Yeeun, something worth exploring. And they intended to do just that.

[yeonbinwyd]

just a tip

pairing: sub!femreader x dom! Heesung and dom! Jay

synopsis: Jay wanted some pointers on how to impress you. What better way then to let his good friend give him some advice or better yet even show him how it’s done

genre (w/tags): smut, minors dni, Threesome, cream pie, jealousy, slight

Word count : 1283

“Sure I’ll give you a hand.” Heesung accepts

“Thanks man . You know I really want to impress her. I think the date won’t be enough.” Jay is excited. he had date with you before but the last few weren’t hitting like he wanted. Was it the sex? Was it the date? He didn’t know but this time he knew it would be good. He recruited his good friend, Heesung. It was very obvious that he had experience. They were roommates and Jay could hear all the times he brought back someone. Heesung always had them begging for more.

“What time is the date?” He asked Jay

“8 and we’ll just come back here.” Jay explained. Heesung gives him a thumbs up.

Honestly the date with Jay was great. Dinner and a walk on the beach was amazing. Jay had liked you for a while, at this point , he was willing to do anything. He brought you back to his place. You know where this was headed. He led you inside and to your surprise candles were lit, rose petals were on the floor leading to his room. Two glasses of champagne was waiting for you two at the door, still cold. You were beyond surprised. He actually put some effort into it. Jay was surprised himself. He didn’t think Heesung would put it together like this. You walk into his room, seeing Heesung still setting things up in his room. You lock eyes with Heesung, like seeing an old friend.

“Wow I never thought I’d see you again” you call out Heesung. He chuckles

“It’s good to see you too” he says back. Jay utterly confused.

“You guys know each other?” Jay questions.

“Yeah we used to hookup” you admit shyly. Your insides burn from the pleasure he would make you feel. Heesung had a feeling it was you, hence why he chose to make Jay look more romantic. He took a bit longer to set up, in the off chance he’d run into you. Heesung’s devious plan worked. Jay didn’t know what to say or do.

“It’s good to see you.” Heesung gives a cocky smile.

“It’s good to see you too you say back with a smile. You feel Jay come up behind you, remembering your date. His chest pressed against your back. Heesung comes closer to you, gripping your face. You, in between both men, unable to choose between the two. Jay accepts the set up, helps you with your dress straps off

your shoulders. Jay starts by placing kisses on the back of your neck, sliding his hands down your body to take off the dress you were wearing. Heesung is examining you while you undress, ready to devour you. Jay unhooking your bra then Heesung slips it off. He then pulls your panties down to your ankles while Jay keeps going with his kisses. Heesung now on his knees before you.

“I miss your taste.” Heesung is looking up into your eyes, his stare so intense it could kill. His thumb caresses your clit. You swallow hard in anticipation. He kisses up your thigh, teasing you, tracing his tongue across your sensitive skin.

“Take notes Jay” he informs his underling. Jay grabs your chin, placing a kiss on your lips. It only pulls your attention away for a moment, until Heesung takes you into his mouth. His wild tongue, exploring you, takes your attention back from Jay. You moan in your kiss. Jay sucks on your bottom lip while grabbing your breasts. The two of them fighting for your focus. Heesung diving deeper into your cunt, you know who’s winning. Your body naturally resists, shaking a bit to his touch but he doesn’t give up. Heesung pulls away to plunge two fingers inside harshly. It was so aggressive it made you cream on his hand. You melt into his touch but Jay doesn’t quit either. Jay gives your nipples a twist, then takes one in his mouth. His tongue swirls around your nipple.

You groan in overflowing pleasure, your hands roam throughout both Jay’s and Heesung’s tousled hair. At this point you’ve accepted them both. Heesung, impatient, pulls you away, leds you to Jay’s bed. He bends you over, swiftly taking off his sweats. Jay is left to fend for himself as Heesung takes control. Heesung slides into your wet pussy vigorously . His sharp thrust catches you off graud but he didn’t care. The immediate bliss he felt entering you was unbelievable. His eyes rolled back, gripping your shoulder for leverage. You two face a mirror. He looked like a Greek god. His chiseled jaw line, his Adam’s apple protruding from his neck. Heesung’s thrusts were short but rough getting to the point, hitting every inch of you.

“Like this.” He says to Jay. Heesung bites his lip, holding his composure as he can feel you around him. He really misses the feeling of you but he needs to prove why he’s better. He pushes his hair back, exposing the sweat on his forehead. He was getting close. He keeps his pace and still violent. You’re getting close too.

“Relax and exhale. “ Heesung instructs you. “Don’t think about anything else”

You obey him and breathe out. He thrusts further than before, hitting your cervix. You feel yourself cumming for him without warming. He feels your juices on him giving Jay a turn. Jay astonished at the act of making her cum so quickly, he was questioning if he could even live up to that. Jay unbuckles his jeans giving you time to catch your breath. He sees you in shambles and is turned on by the thought of ruining you next. He slowly positions himself behind you, floored at how soaked you are. He lunges himself inside, pulling you up to kiss your cheek. Jay waits until you adjust to him, holding you secure. Unlike Heesung, his thrusts were more affectionate, more tender. Jay locked his arms with yours behind your back. You felt defenseless , but enjoyed the sight as you saw him in the mirror now. His strong frame towering you, him not focused on anything but you. Jay put you first. He rotated his hip, making his cock press deeper in you.

“Mmmm Jay I love this” you compliment. His cock twitches inside you. Music to his ears. You praising him. One hand free, he chokes you a bit, pulling your ear to close his lips

“You feel so good baby” he continues with more motion in his thrusts “I’m gonna make you cum all night.” He promises.

Heesung takes a seat in the corner of the room, examining you two.

Jay starts to nibble on your ear as he pumps into you. Your breathy moans while clenching around him is putting him over the top. You cum again, spilling on him. He feels your slick and buries his face in your neck. He groans heavily, while picking up the pace. His cock hitting you so hard, you see it moving in your stomach. His hand lets go of your neck then starts to rub your clit with his thrusts.

You start to cry out, you were close again. He rubs more violently than before causing you to shake. What had came over you was a new feeling. You hadn’t felt like this with Jay before. Something had changed. He rolled his hips against you again causing you to cum aggressively on him. He cums with you filling you up. Both your pants fill the room, getting Heesung hard again. You and Jay collectively collide on the bed. While catching your breath, you feel Heesung standing over you.

“It’s my turn again “ he insists.

[bump1nthen1ght]

A Very Monstrous Kinktober (2024) Day 12 - Facefucking

Kink: Facefucking

Pairing: GN!Reader x Incubus

Other Kinks: Sex Toys, Blow Jobs

Word Count: 1525 words

Kinktober Masterlist

“How many-” Your voice falters as you suck in a deep breath, more focus needed than normal to form a proper sentence, “-s-settings does this thing have?”

“13.” Elijah says, still perched on his loveseat. He snacks on a bowl of figs and nibs of dark chocolate, slow and luxurious, like a despotic emperor forcing men to fight for his amusement. “You’re only on level 3 darling, so desperate for more already?”

“Ahh-I didn’t say that.” You pant, hip flexors beginning to burn as you hold your legs wide open for the thrusting dildo. Mixtures of sweat and lube splatter all cross your inner thighs, spread out on the fucking machine currently wrenching you open. “J-just…curious.”

“Hmm, I bet you are.” Elijah’s molten gold eyes soak in every inch, forked tongue flickering to wet his lips as he takes another sumptuous bite of a fig. His nostrils flair with every moan, every twitch of your hips as the contraption moves in and out, in and out. “Don’t love it too much, darling, I can be quite a jealous demon.”

You roll your eyes, considering this was his idea in the first place. Brush the dust off an old sex machine he hadn’t needed in ages, the typical limitless stamina of his species meaning it was often useless. But after making you come undone in all the other kinds of ways, he figured a few toys wouldn’t hurt to spice things up.

“Fu-uck.” You sigh, bringing a palm up your neck and feeling yourself. Elijah’s gaze is hot and heavy, not missing a moment of his favorite meal. It’s a real boost for your ego, knowing he’s enjoying this in more ways than one; Taste, sight, sounds, it’s all for him to consume. So you like to put on a show for your boyfriend, swivel your hips and project your dirty noises. 

But your boyfriend is also a little shit, so of course he decides to click the remote and switch you to level four. 

“Oh shit!” You nearly keel over, the jump between three and four exponential as the machinery begins to creak with its exertion. Your eyes roll back, the burning fire becoming all consuming. “Ooooh, Elijah!” You scream out his name as you cum, trembling as the machine leaves no mercy, pistoning into you through your orgasm. It makes your toes curl, has your mind turning to slush.

Elijah is quick to catch you once you collapse off the toy, the fuck machine still whirring as you fall into your boyfriends waiting arms. He moves like a panther, lounging one moment and pouncing the next. He takes a deep whiff into the crook of your neck, shuddering as he tastes the wafting pheromones.

“Absolutely delicious.” Elijah sighs, smacking his lips as he rubs your lower back. The dildo on the machine hadn’t been huge, but its mechanical force had been enough to leave you sore, even as the high of climaxing faded.

“Thanks.” You slur into his shoulder, your faculties slowly returning as Elijah lies you on his stomach, lounging back in his loveseat. A pitcher of ice cold water tips into your mouth, most dribbling down your chin, but refreshing nonetheless. “How many stars?”

“3, Michelin of course.”

You give him a lazy thumbs up, nuzzling your face into his bare chest. He’s warm, as always, the kind that draws you in and begs for you to touch.

Elijah is sweet, playing with your hair and feeding you figs, but the unmistakable bulge still in his pants has you sitting up, forcing your tired body to move.

“Want to make you feel good.” You mutter, eyes still hazy from the afterglow, though no less wanton.

“Dearie, you know you don’t have to do that.” Elijah’s claws scratch the bottom of your jaw, a shuddering feeling that has you shiver. “You’re human, your body has limits.”

“Ah yes, but I have more than one hole, don’t I?”

You press a kiss into abdomen, then onto his stomach, below his belly button, his v line and then to his deliciously tight shorts. You pick up length of his clothed bulge, Elijah’s tail flicking behind you.

“I can smell your tiredness, my dear.” Elijah says, as if you can’t feel his cock twitching against your lips.

“Then use me. Use me like a toy.” You moan, your own engine revving at the idea. “Use my mouth like that machine used me.”

You slide off the suede loveseat, falling into the plush shag carpet and opening your mouth wide. Elijah brushes the back of his knuckles against your cheek, still slightly disapproving.

“Please, baby.” You pant like a dog, pursing your lips for extra effect. 

Elijah sighs, gripping your jaw like you're made of porcelain.

“I have shacked up with quite a salacious human, haven't I?”

You nod, eyes sparkling with mischief. Elijah chuckles.

“Alright, but I thought I was to be the ravenous sex demon in this relationship.”

Elijah stands up, moving his hand to the back of your head as fishes out his cock. It's already dripping with pre, the buzzing aphrodisiac that you’ve become addicted to over the course of your relationship. You wiggle your butt, too excited to keep still.

“You look so cute on your knees.” Elijah lines his cock up with your mouth, your lips falling apart as wide as you can make them. The wet head rubs against the flat of your bared tongue, Elijah's claws digging into your scalp. “My little human toy. All for me; to fuck, to eat.”

Elijah’s cock is as hot as the rest of him, practically searing your mouth as it slides in. The perfect thickness and the perfect length, that buzzing precum softening your throat as he fully seats himself inside. He tastes like honey and salted caramel, making you desperate to keep him inside. 

“Let's see if you’re as durable as my machine, eh?”

Elijah smirks, his sharp fangs glistening in a curled smile when he pulls his cock out and shoves it back again. He sets a brutal pace, heavy balls sleeping against your chin as drools spits from his harried thrusts. He keeps his eyes down and on you, watches his precious toy take his cock over and over.

From below he looks especially devilish; His pupils slitted, his horns extra tall and overbearing, his mouth snarled as he fucks your mouth like it’s a piece of plastic. He pounds the back of your throat with each hit, your cheeks bulging with his girth. You try your best to move your tongue, play with his shaft, but he’s so big that there’s hardly any space in your mouth to do so. So you just enjoy the ride, watching his curled up face expressions while he chases his own pleasure.

“Doing so well, darling.” Elijah pats your cheek. “I’m so lucky to have found someone like you. Just as much of a degenerate as me.” Elijah swivels his hips on the word degenerate, watching his cock move around from behind your cheeks. He smirks, then resumes his thrusting. 

You wink, sucking in another breath and sealing your lips around his cock. Elijah’s eyes go wide and he bites down on his bottom lip, drops of black unholy blood beading to the surface.

“Fuck, you’re too good to me.”

Elijah’s stamina is always impressive, but it seems his full belly and your performance from earlier have him off his usual game, his cock already beginning to twitch in your mouth. His pants with every thrust now, the girl on the back of your head furling as he twists.

“Gonna drink my cum, darling?”

You nod to the best of your ability. Elijah laughs.

“That’s what I thought. Always so hungry for my cum down your throat. So dirty.”

Elijah’s features grow more wild as he grows closer to coming, his beastial nature popping out when he chases his own orgasm. He’s always been comfortable embracing his demonic side around you, your trust and closeness leaving little need for a facade meant for luring, but this is something that only comes out during his most primal. At the pinnacle of his nature.

“Here it comes!” Elijah punctuates each word with another thrust, ending with his cock at the edge of your throat. It’s quickly coated with sweet tasting semen, filling up your mouth easily and dripping down your jaw. Elijah catches his breath as he rides out the rest, petting the sore spot where he gripped the base of your skull.

“So good. So good.”

Elijah unsheathes with a pop out of your mouth, falling back onto the loveseat with a thump. You don’t even have time to wipe your face before he scoops you back up into his arms, lying the two of you and grabbing the pitcher of water once more.

The haze of sex lingers in the air, your sweaty bodies sticking together as you both suckle at the water pitcher, not caring how wet you get.

Elijah’s tail wraps around your ankle, arms pressing your waist into his. Interlocked and bellies full, you both fall asleep, perfectly content.

[that-house]

Crouched behind the bombed-out lump of concrete, Glory toyed with her crucifix. It had all been a lie. Sometimes those words made her mad, but she had bigger things to worry about: people were shooting at her, and if she didn’t kill them quickly she’d miss the seventh inning of the Marlins game.

She tossed a grenade in the general direction of the shooters, hearing swears, then screams, then silence. Killing people didn’t feel bad. It didn’t feel good either, but men like these had killed her brother. He’d have told her to forgive them, sure, but he’d inherited their father’s good side. All Glory got from the old man was his wrath.

Glory stuck her baseball bat out from behind the cover, a bullet tearing it to splinters in an instant. It wasn’t one of her good bats, thank Christ, but the loss still stung. “That was natural-grown maple, you assholes!” she called.

A woman yelled back. “Come out with your hands up and no one will hurt you! We treat prisoners well here in Manhattan.”

“Y’all like baseball?”

A beat of confused silence. “I’ll watch the Yankees when there’s nothing else on.”

“Man, fuck the Yankees.” Glory blindly fired around the corner, hitting soft flesh if the yelp of pain was anything to go off of.

The woman called back, seemingly undeterred. Must have hit someone else. “You a Sox fan?”

“Nah. Miami.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“This year’s gonna be our year.”

“Sure it will.”

“Why are you here?“

“Because some gun-toting maniac made it across no-man’s land, rampaged through three lines of trenches, and booked it into the city proper.”

Glory laughed fondly. “I did do that, yes.”

“Why are you here?”

“The Army of Jersey is paying me good money to send some soldiers to Hell.”

“Mercenary, huh?”

“Yeah, you?”

“New York born and bred.”

“You religious?”

“Christian, in theory. In practice? Who knows.”

“Not a very good one, if you’re out here killing people.”

“Says the killer.”

“Never claimed to be a good Christian. Most Christians aren’t. J-boy was big on forgiveness and acceptance and all that, you know? Not a lot of that going around, since, well, forever, really. Now me, I’m a fan of forgiveness, in theory. In practice? I hold an awful lot of grudges.”

“We gonna talk all day or kill each other?”

“Kill each other, probably. I’m Glory.”

“Rebecca.”

“Alright, Rebecca, let’s have a good clean game. Play ball!” Glory stepped out from behind the ruined wall, and immediately got shot in the heart. This part always sucked. She got a few good shots in herself, but her vision went black before she could tell if she hit anything important.

God damn it.

…

Three days later, Glory returned from the dead, the same way her big brother did all those years ago. She sat up in the ruins with a grin, which quickly soured. She was the Second Coming this wretched world deserved, sure, but more importantly she’d missed the rest of the Marlins game.

[whumpninja]

*crashing in through the whump community’s skylight*

oh hey, what’s up? I’m Jack, I’ve been lurking in the shadows of the community for way too long and I’m now revealing my presence!

Name: it’s Jack, didn’t you just see it up there? I will also accept Jacques, Jack-Jack, Jackrabbit, Jackalope, Jack Sparrow, Jack Daniels or J-Money

Age: old enough to drink, not old enough to say “back in the good old days…” while I stare wistfully out the window (I could do that, but I’d just be reminiscing about when everyone wore their jeans around their knees)

Pronouns: he/him, they/them, hey/you, call me whatever you want as long as you don’t call me late for- nope, I’m not finishing that joke

About Me: why are you asking? who do you work for? WHO SENT YOU?! Just kidding. Here are some things I like doing- writing, thinking about whump, thinking about writing whump. Here are some things I like doing but am bad at- cooking things, climbing things without falling off of them, running without feeling like I’m going to die. Here are some things I don’t like doing- studying, going to the gym, watching romantic comedies, eating canned vegetables, getting my socks wet.

About Whump: love it. Love, love, love it. Whump is great. I like almost all flavors (but hold the nuts and butts and sexy bits.) My particular favorites- defiant whumpee, whump with magic/fantasy elements in it, whumpers who just suck, uh…whumpees in gladiator fights?? But…cage matches. Not bare-chested men in loincloths stabbing each other.

Here are some blogs about whump I really like: @smellofsnoww @weirdstrangeandawful @whumperofworlds @whumperfultime @redwingedwhump @painsandconfusion @newbornwhumperfly @pigeonwhumps @caspia-writes @spookyboywhump @oddsconvert and literally so many more, I have been lurking here for *a while* also I will probably make a blubbery post about why I like these blogs the next time I have a drink

About WIPs: I have a grand total of one. It currently exists as a complicated red-string-board of a Google Doc with way too many characters and at least three plotlines. It’ll probably still have too many characters and plotlines when I post it. It’s mainly about vampires and humans whumping each other into absolute oblivion, so if that’s your speed, stay tuned, sports fans.

Anyway, it’s me, finally coming out of the shadows to join the whump community in their mission to make fictional characters suffer! I have the power of God and whump on my side- AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH-

A BIG LIST OF STUFF JACK WROTE!

[mariacallous]

Tomorrow is Election Day, the last day of voting in this tumultuous 2024 campaign. What a long, strange trip it's been. Just a year ago, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis was challenging former president Trump for the GOP nomination by saying the word "woke" at least a hundred times a day while former South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley competed for what's left of the "normie" Republican vote. A clown car full of grifters and kooks, meanwhile, used the primaries as an opportunity to suck up to Trump, whom everyone knew would inevitably be the nominee. After all, he'd been running non-stop since 2015.

Meanwhile on the Democratic side, incumbent president Joe Biden was an unchallenged shoo-in for the Democratic nomination. Most people felt he'd probably be able to replicate his 2020 win despite being unpopular due to a lingering hangover from the pandemic. After all, Trump had incited an insurrection and was facing lawsuits and felony trials in federal court and two different states stemming from a variety of alleged crimes. Surely, he couldn't possibly win after all that?

In the year since, Biden was revealed to be just too old to run for president again and was replaced by his younger vice president, Kamala Harris, who sparked a massive rise in enthusiasm among Democrats. Trump, meanwhile, has shown that his millions-strong cult of personality is fully intact and they are ecstatic about putting him back in the White House in spite of his many flaws (maybe even because of them.) We could find out the winner as soon as tomorrow night — or maybe not.

If it's as close as many of the pollsters say it is it could take a while before we know the final results. And it goes without saying that unless they call the race for him right away, Trump is planning to cry "fraud" and will do everything in his power to create the illusion that he won regardless of the count. So we can expect chaos. He's made that very clear.

The polls have more or less shown a tied race nationally and in the swing states for the past couple of months. Whether that's correct or not, we don't know. Because they missed some Trump voters in 2016 and 2020, everyone is on edge that the same thing has happened again despite the pollsters' going out of their way to correct the problem this time. With the polls this close that error could translate to a repeat of 2016 which has a whole lot of people losing sleep these last few weeks.

But something unexpected happened this past weekend that may have called those assumptions into question. The Des Moines Register poll, considered one of the best in all of politics due to pollster J. Ann Selzer's excellent track record, dropped its final poll of the cycle and it landed like a nuclear bomb. Iowa is a solid red state and the previous poll had Trump winning the state handily as expected. Now the numbers showed Harris beating Trump 47 - 44. Boom.

Iowa is one of the whitest states in the union, so race isn't a factor which makes it an interesting proxy for white voters in other swing states with similar populations (like Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania, for instance.) While Trump has maintained his base of men, evangelical voters, rural residents and non-college-educated voters, the poll found that women, specifically older and politically independent women, have swung in large numbers to Harris. And just as surprising, Harris is winning voters over 65, which has been a GOP base vote for decades. What in the world does this mean?

First, it's pretty clear that reproductive rights are driving this race for a whole lot of people. Iowa, in particular, is now living under a draconian six-week abortion ban that was upheld by its far-right Supreme Court last summer. Justice Samuel Alito wrote in his notorious opinion that "women are not without electoral or political power." It appears we may be about to find out the truth of that.

People expected that younger women would vote in large numbers on this issue but there seems to be some surprise that older women would be motivated to do so. Ohio Senate candidate Bernie Moreno was caught on video bemoaning the "single issue" women voters and wondering why women over 50 would care about it.

I guess it's hard for right-wingers to understand why anyone would care about someone other than themselves. But it's more than that. The reversal of Roe v. Wade was deeply offensive to many women of all ages, something we could only see as a direct attack on our basic human rights by a group of men (and one very conservative woman) determined to turn back the clock to a time when women were literally second class citizens. Women can see where this is leading and it isn't toward freedom and equality — for any of us.

The Republican Party and its leader, a predator found legally liable for sexual assault, is running for election on a platform of flagrant misogyny. Donald Trump literally said, 'I was able to kill Roe v. Wade' until he belatedly realized it wasn't popular, at which point he came up with his fatuous rationale that "everyone wanted it to go back to the states." That is utterly absurd and most people know it. He's lately taken to saying that he'll be women's "protector" which, coming from him, is more of a threat. In fact, in recent days he's said that he'll  do it "whether the women like it or not."

Then you have his choice for running mate, JD Vance, who thinks that women should stay in abusive marriages, thinks abortion should be banned nationally even in cases of rape and incest and wants to prevent women from traveling out of state to obtain them (he now denies knowing about such efforts). And he famously believes that "childless cat ladies" are the cause of everything wrong in our culture and agrees that "the whole purpose of the post-menopausal female is child care."

And people are surprised that women of all ages are refusing to vote for these people?

This Iowa poll may be an outlier and all the chatter about this remarkable result will end up being nothing more than election year lore. Most analysts still seem to think that it's nearly impossible to believe that Harris will actually win Iowa. But this poll is one of the very few that caught the hidden angry non-college-educated Trump vote in 2016 and 2020. There is every reason to believe that it may be catching the hidden pissed-off college-educated and independent women Harris vote in 2024. Nothing would be more satisfying than for this voting block to be the one to spell the end of Donald Trump's political career. 

[phoenixtakaramono]

Butchlander for C, R, W :3

(This Ask is regarding this.) ( ˘ ³˘)♥

C = Cum (where does your muse prefer to cum/have someone cum)

Both men like to creampie their partners. It’s canon. For Butcher, in S4, as well as revealing that Butcher had cheated on Becca years ago with a waitress, Joe Kessler asks him where his “soft spot for supes” started: “Was it when you shot your load and creampied Maeve?” As much as I despise cheater!Butcher now being canon, at the very least since this has now been written into the show, this better not be a throwaway line; I’d like to think the writers are setting up foreshadowing for a S5 payoff, especially with the Butcher/Maeve scene that Kripke asserted was included for a reason. In the comics, Maeve had a secret child with The Legend which resulted in Blarney Cøck and in the comics “Ryan” had been a baby Butcher stomped to death. I smell a potential comic reference setup, especially with evil Butcher era in S5. I HC, with Butcher at least, he would be a little more careful (if he’s not pissed drunk) and wear a condom. Or if he’s in a risky mood, he’ll pull out to stroke himself to release—before pushing his dick back in.

For Homelander, I presume since he’d always thought his seed wouldn’t take, he operated under the belief he’d been shooting blanks all this time. Which equates to, he doesn’t need protection. Most impotent men would feel insecure about their masculinity so, likewise, with Homelander, he’s likely brainwashed himself into thinking: well, it’s probably a good thing he cannot get ordinary mudpeople pregnant; he’s genetically perfect; he’s a god. His seed is too powerful for ordinary unworthy mudpeople. If anyone’s going to be carrying his child, it’d be with someone like Maeve (if only she’d get pregnant). But, irony of all ironies, he got Becca pregnant. This man does not use protection. He sticks it in and will finish inside you whether you want it or not.

You cannot teach an old dog new tricks. So if John the Homelander and William J. Butcher were to hookup or get into a relationship, their breeding kink fundamentally wouldn’t change. Billy, just to be an ornery bastard, would probably be the one in the relationship to at least ask if Homelander had been tested for STIs because he does not want to catch anything from this, which high-key offends Homelander and would earn a reactionary splutter along the lines of: “I’m a fucking god, William; I do not need to be t-tested; how dare you lump me in with other pathetic mortals? I’m clean. My blood’s probably purer than the rest of you.” (You cannot tell me, with the show’s bigotry connotations, that he wouldn’t say something like this.)

So, we’ve established both men cum inside. Billy Butcher would 100% cum inside Homelander. Sometimes, when the whim hits, he’d pull out early before ørgasm and stroke himself until he cums over the blond cunt’s gaping arsehole or over the curve of his back. Or, if Billy’s feeling a particular mood, he grunts for Homelander to turn over and to open his mouth for him so he can finish himself off, shooting all over Homelander’s face and his waiting tongue; or after releasing, he orders Homelander to get on his knees and clean his prick off (cards his fingers into his gelled blond hair, messing it up further, and breathlessly calls him a “good boy” whilst Homelander, still in his subspace, dreamily laps up any salty precum and sucks him off). Homelander’s usually prim and proper in their day-to-day so it satisfies something in Butcher seeing his load(s) drip out of him. I wager it’s a huge power-trip and turn-on for Billy, seeing the most powerful man in the world hungry for his cock. In Billy’s head, he’s doing the world a favor—preventing this monster from reproducing and creating more Homelander mini-me’s.

Both high-key and lowkey, I HC that Homelander likes the physical intimacy of feeling Billy pulsate and nut inside him. There’s just something primal about doing it raw—and being “bred” by his former archenemy. With Homelander being a vainglorious narcissist, there’s likely also the instinctual smugness and psychological reassurance of knowing that his bussy game’s so good, it’s made William J. Butcher—the man who notoriously hates him—cum inside. There’s also the feeling of ownership—of being “branded by,” possessed and “loved” so intensely by someone. He’s so desperate for intimacy, for that genuine human connection with someone, he’d find it very ironic but poetically fitting that he’s found it in the arms of the enemy.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

I say it depends on various factors: what the risk entails, the appropriateness of the situation, their circumstances, the timing, the venue, and their mood, but yes they’re usually game to experiment and take risks. Both of them are impulsive, self-destructive maelstroms. Whether it’s stealing a moment for a quickie whilst Homelander’s on patrol or the both of them knowing they are seconds away from being caught with Billy’s crew just outside the doors, when you put these two men together, it often escalates to impromptu bad decisions made in the heat of the moment. They are each other’s worst enabler.

I’d like to think it’s also a big turn-on for the both of them. When one of them is particularly resistant for whatever reason, the other party taunts and eggs them on, and then it becomes a competition where the other party cannot resist the want to rub their win in the other’s face. Sure it might be inappropriate to do the horizontal mambo on The Seven conference table during office hours think of all the trouble they’d get into with HR if found out, but have you considered that William/Homelander called him a chicken? Their pride’s on the line here. Their ego, their masculinity, is at stake. If they do not prove the other person wrong, that person will have ammunition for the rest of their lives.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

The costume and cape stay on during sex, same with the boots and/or socks. Homelander’s costume is a symbol, and it gets Billy fueled with ire hatefucking him with his pants shoved down. It’s like this meme:

���except Billy probably shoves those “tactical trousers” and uncomfortable synthetic vinyl-looking eagle-mesh pants down Homelander’s arse and just penetrates him raw Homelander’s lucky that Billy is considerate enough that he won’t go in dry (plus, he’d chafe); at least he’d spit down there if there’s no “nice, big family-sized bottle of top shelf lube” readily available for either of them to use. The pants could easily be torn away by either him or Homelander, although it’s funnier to think of Billy being the one doing it because you get Homelander throwing a hissy fit being all like:

Homelander: Really? This is my one suit, you heathen. You couldn’t have been more delicate with it?

Billy: *smirks* Nah.

For Homelander, the suit serves as a defense mechanism. It’s his armor; it’s his shield. Like everyone else, he has his body image insecurities (like irl models/ celebrities, I presume he has to give some consideration to his caloric intake, his weight, any sign of weight gain, or aging, etc). Removing his costume and exposing his body to his partner takes a lot of trust and emotional vulnerability. Plus, there’s usually no time to strip all the way down. It’s usually a wild and rough tussle between them.

I will have to say, if Billy manages to get Homelander bare and exposed, he’s usually a lot gentler than normal. Because he’s not fucking Homelander; he’s making love to John. It’s a subtle but important distinction.

[jjwantsme]

I Wanna Be Saved!

j.m

pairing: jj maybank x kook!reader

summary: in which he finally saves his favorite hoe. (part II to ‘Captain Save A Hoe’)

warnings: nsfw, lowercase intended, cussing, kiara still lowk being mean😭, slutshaming, promiscuous!reader, mentions of smut, kinda short

authors note: i love this little theory sm 🥲🥲🥲 thank yall for reading

masterlist

JJ looked zoned-out while John B went on about some stupid theory, a theory that he frankly didn’t care about. how could he care when hours earlier, his girl walked out on him?

okay, alright, she technically wasn’t his girl. but, in his mind, he was certainly her boy.

“JJ, are you even listening?” kiara looked at him with a face of annoyance.

“yeah, you were like, just straight up ignoring everything we said,” pope said in his monotone voice, only aggravating the boy in question even further

“everything is fucked, bro!” the blondie huffed, standing up off the couch as he shocked the other three teenagers. “y’all are confusing and annoying the shit out of me with this dumbass mystery thing, as if we’re in a fucking tv show! this is real life, okay?! we’re not gonna find fucking gold. listen, my favorite fucktoy walked out on me, okay, how the fuck am i supposed to pay attention?! also, i haven’t gotten high in, like, 25 hours and i’m getting withdrawals.”

the room stayed silent for a solid 6 seconds once JJ finished his stressed rant, the other teenagers looked at each other with their eyebrows raised. what the fuck was he talking about?

“uh, okay, let’s disregard the gold thing for a few minutes- what do you mean by ‘fucktoy’?” pope interrupted the silence, kiara nodding slowly in agreement to his statement.

JJ sighed and sat back on his spot on the couch, resting his forehead in his hands, “y/n, bro-“

“you fucked her?!” kiara exclaimed, her eyebrows furrowing in a mix of anger and confusion. “i literally told you that she was a bitch!”

“yo, don’t talk about her that way,” he lifted his head off his hands, “she’s actually cool, alright? i really, really like her.”

“so, then…what’s the problem?” john b shrugged slightly with raised eyebrows.

“that is the problem, dude! she’s pissed ‘cause we agreed on no actual feelings involved, but of course, i fucking folded.”

“such a bitch,” kiara mumbled, making JJ roll his eyes.

“i’m confused,” pope narrowed his eyes.

the boy groaned, “jesus, pope, how slow are you? she made me bust a couple times and now i’m ready for marriage!”

“woah-“

“look, J, you’ll get over her. there’s hundreds of hot girls on this island, you’ll be fine. now, can we please stay focused on becoming rich?” kiara spoke louder this time, cutting off pope’s shocked reaction to JJ’s explanation.

“whatever,” JJ mumbled as john b took the opportunity to plan out the next step to finding the mind-boggling gold.

they just didn’t get it.

maybe she is a hoe, JJ thought. maybe he was just another check off of the promiscuous girl’s list of dicks to suck. but, if she is a hoe, she certainly is his favorite.

y/n groaned as she woke up in another man’s bed.

after leaving JJ, she was desperate to find someone as good as him- but, she had been failing miserably.

they never made her feel as good as he did, and probably never will. JJ was different.

sex with these men was just boring. sure, they weren’t bad, but none of them were the best. it was just plain old sex. but, with JJ, it was like her pussy was made for him.

she couldn’t keep entertaining all these other boys anymore. she needed a man, she needed her man.

so, she swallowed her pride and typed up a text. ‘missing the taste of you’, she sent to him.

she was shocked when her phone dinged shortly after. ‘yeah? i’m missing the feeling of you’, he replied back to her.

yeah. that settles it. her pussy was made for him.

the teens continued their back and forth vulgar texts for the rest of the week. photographs of his dick being sent to her, voice memos of her cumming around a sex toy being sent to him.

‘i wanna see you again’, y/n said one day, and JJ would be idiotic to decline.

they agreed on a place and time. 2:00 AM in y/n’s bedroom. they clarified that there wouldn’t be much talking involved, they just wanted to feel each other’s bodies again.

he wanted to feel her juices pour onto his tongue as he pleasured her. she wanted to feel his cock stretching her out, she wanted to feel the mix of pleasure and pain.

so, there JJ was, exactly at 2:00 AM, in his favorite girl’s room.

there lips molded together in a heated makeout, his hands going down to grip her ass as they slowly moved towards the bed.

“wait, stop, wait,” JJ gasped out as he pulled away from the kiss when he felt her warm hand travel down his shorts. “we can’t do this, i’m sorry, but we can’t,”

“what? why?” she pulled her hands back as she looked at him with a face of confusion.

“because i still like you, y/n.”

her face fell as she sighed and stepped back, sitting on her bed. “yeah, i figured.” she sighed and looked down.

“look, y/n,” he situated himself in his shorts, trying his best not to focus on his raging hard-on, “i know that you have a boyfriend, but-“

“we broke up.” y/n cut him off when the words slipped from his mouth, making JJ’s heart stop.

“…what?” he breathed out, “really? wh-why?”

“i mean…sure, he was an okay boyfriend. but, he just…he just wasn’t you.”

JJ sucked in a breath at her words.

“i think i like you too, J.” she told him, just above a whisper.

“oh.” was all he could say, although in his mind he was celebrating her reciprocation.

“maybe…maybe we could go on a date or something?” she asked as she stood up again, walking towards him again.

“yeah, i…i’d like that,” he spoke quietly, cupping her face.

“i take back what i said,” he said, pecking her lips, “we can definitely do this.”

the couple spent the night making love, one round after another.

her moans were music to his ears, it felt like a reward for every good thing he’d ever done.

he’d do a thousand good things if it meant he’d get to fuck her everynight.

they stayed in each other’s arms all morning long, tracing shapes on one another’s bare skin.

“JJ?” y/n whispered into his neck as the sun shined on them through her window.

“yeah?”

“thank you for saving me.

[fantasybooktournament]

Book Reveals for Round 1 of Mystery Book Tournament

titles and descriptions under the cut

The One with The Obnoxious Legal System is A Conspiracy of Truths by Alexandra Rowland

The world's most obnoxious old man has been arrested for charges of witchcraft by the world's most obnoxious legal system. The story follows him utilizing every tool at his disposal to escape death including his fruity apprentice, his ever-tired lawyer, and most of all stories. Half of this book is the old man telling a story to someone he is either trying to sway, trick, or simply entertain.

The One with the Rightful Heir is Magyk by Angie Sage

A child soldier nearly freezes to death and so must join the escape of the rightful heir, a powerful wizard, and the rightful heir's bumbling dad, brother and dog.

The One with No Indoor Plumbing is In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan

Have you ever thought ‘hey going to a magical fantasy land might suck a little’? Our intrepid hero has been invited to a school for future heroes in a land of elves and trolls, harpies and mermaids…and there’s no indoor plumbing. Also they’re training children as warriors and have little to no respect for diplomacy.

The One with Vampires and Farms is The Queen of Darkness by Miguel Connor

In the far-flung future, the earth is irradiated and vampires rule the world. Humans are kept in farms, and our protagonist is sent to one to learn about an illness that is appearing in the humans which can infect and kill vampires. There he learns about the human cult, and gets told by them that vampires were once human.

The One with Possessed Nuns is Vespertine by Margaret Rogerson

A young nun in fantasy-France lets a powerful revenant take possession of her body in order to protect her monastery from possessed soldiers. No one believes she can possibly control the evil creature, but as she uncovers a sinister plot at the very heart of her country, she finds herself growing closer to the revenant by the day.

The One that Becomes Queernormative is A Strange and Stubborn Endurance by Foz Meadows

Protagonist starts off in a queer phobic society and is bound to marry a girl from the neighboring kingdom against his wishes, being gay. When his sexuality is dramatically revealed after he's being assaulted, the political bets seem off, but the other kingdom is queernormative and instead offers to marry him to his bride's brother instead.

The One with Sisters and Unsuitable Men is An Earthly Knight by Janet McNaughto

The main character's older sister has run away with an unsuitable man so it's up to her to marry a suitable one. But as she worries for her sister and hopes to find her, she encounters a strange man, rumored to have been kidnapped by the fae.

The One with the Magic Italian Notebook is City of Masks by Mary Hoffman

The main character, a young boy, is seriously ill but his life is transformed when an old Italian notebook gives him the power to become a stravagante, a time traveler with access to 16th century Italy. He wakes up in another time and place during carnival time and meets a girl his own age who is disguised as a boy in the hope of being selected as one of the Duchessa's mandoliers. Political intrigue ensues.

The One with the War Against Colonizers is Fire Logic by Laurie J Marks

The last living member of a border tribe, a deadly philosopher-soldier, a truth-seer, a gentle man, and a man who can see the future form a beautifully queer family around a drug-addicted blacksmith who holds the power of the land itself so that she can end the war against colonizers that has continued for 30 years

The One with the Healer's Quest is Dreamer's Pool by Juliet Marillier

The first in a mystery fantasy trilogy about a wrongfully imprisoned healer and her quiet but strong prison friend who get busted out of prison by an otherworld being. In exchange, for seven years she must endeavor to help anyone who asks for it. A gentle local prince has fallen for his fiance through their sweet and poetic correspondence but is shocked by her cruelty when she arrives, can the healer discovers what has happened and help solve his problem?

The One with Imaginary Friends is Hexwood by Diana Wynne Jones

A pre-teen girl who relies heavily on the advice of her four imaginary friends goes into the local patch of woodlands one day and discovers it's much bigger on the inside. There, she meets a depressed sorcerer/assassin who makes a child out of her blood and his to fight against his enemies on another planet. Meanwhile, someone on Earth has started up a machine that's said to be able to make dreams come true, and this is a big problem for the evil interstellar megacorp that's been dumping prisoners on Earth and stealing their flint.

The One with a Time-Traveling Dragon/Furnace is If That Breathes Fire, We're Toast! by Jennifer J. Stewart

A boy moves with his mom to a new place where he meets a girl and a time-traveling dragon/furnace who teaches him about himself.

The One with the Multiverse is Nine Princes in Amber by Roger Zelazny

An amnesiac man finds himself embroiled in deadly political scheming, thrust into a strange multiverse in the hope of trying to claim from out under his various rival siblings feet the throne to the city at the center of reality.

The One with Mage Trials is Spellslinger by Sebastian de Castell

In a magical society one must complete their mages trials by 16, or else become a slave to that society for the rest of their life. The main character is a 15-year-old boy who has one last chance to complete his trials. Only, his magic is gone. With his fate looming, he meets a mysterious traveling stranger who shows him a different path than the one that has been laid out for him by his people.

The One with the Loser Noble Scholar is Swordspoint by Ellen Kushner

Loser noble scholar shacks up with the best swordsman of the city and makes him fight a bunch of duels mostly out of boredom but also a bit because of politics. Feels slice of life ish though there are stakes

The One with the Nonbinary Cleric is The Empress of Salt and Fortune by Nghi Vo

In this novella set in an imperial Chinese inspired fantasy world, a nonbinary cleric investigates the story of an empress and her ...controversial rise to the throne, as told by an elderly handmaiden who knew her.

The One with Geese is Thorn by Intisar Khanani

Between her cruel family and the contempt she faces at court, the Princess has always longed to escape the confines of her royal life. But when she’s betrothed to the powerful prince, the princess embarks on a journey to his land with little hope for a better future. When a mysterious and terrifying sorceress robs the princess of both her identity and her role as princess, the girl seizes the opportunity to start a new life for herself as a goose girl.

The One with the Teenage Witch Coven is The Scapegracers by H. A. Clarke

Lesbian teenage witch accidentally becomes adopted by popular girls. They form a coven and vow to get revenge on those who have been wronged. Chaos ensues.

The One with the Angel and the Demon is When the Angels Left the Old Country by Sacha Lamb

A demon and an angel decide to go to de goldene medina to search for a girl they know who's disappeared on the way over.

The One with an Unsettling Future is Zel by Donna Jo Napoli

High in the mountains, a young girl lives with her mother, who insists they have all they need -- for they have each other. The girl's life is peaceful and protected -- until a chance encounter changes everything. When she meets a beautiful young prince at the market one day, she is profoundly moved by new emotions. But the girl's mother sees the future unfolding -- and she will do the unspeakable to prevent her daughter from leaving her...

The One with the Bioweapon is Hell Followed With Us by Andrew Joseph White

It's post an apocalypse, that was started by a cult, that twists people into horrible body horror monsters. A trans boy raised in the cult is infected with a bioweapon by them and shortly after escapes. He joins a group of queer teens where he finds friends a community, and he bands together with them to take down the cult.

The One with Arabian Nights AND Hades & Persephone is Keturah and Lord Death by Martine Leavitt

Arabian Nights + Hades and Persephone! A mysterious danger plagues an unexpected kingly visit, and a young woman embarks on a quest to find her one true love before all is lost...

The One with the Lion is Sarah's Lion by Margaret Greaves

A princess longs to travel so is locked in her room. A lion comes to her. Eventually, she has to choose whether she will stay or go.

The One with the War Veteran is The Curse of Chalion by Lois McMaster Bujold

War veteran with chronic pain contracted by a goddess to save her chosen queen

[szagaloree]

His Wife…

Quaritch x OC teaser

Contains: angst/mentions of death/ sadness/ weapons/blood

Warning ⚠️

This contains avatar the way of the water spoilers! Heavy on it please do not read if you have not watched it to not be spoiled and be confused on the story!

__________________________________________

The the slowly rising ringing in her ear as she slightly wakes up, groaning she sees blurry figures in front of her, she gasps instantly jolting him hissing before she was grabbed “amiya! Hey hey calm down,” one of the guys said “you’re okay, calm down,” somebody else said “who the fuck are? What are you- what’s going on?” She questioned glaring at them “you died and now you’re brought back as one of those savages,” one of the marines said I raise a brow looking down I notice my hands were blue, not… white? I’m an avatar?! How did this happen, I thought… I died? “How did-I died-what the fuck!” I freak out.

“Well why don’t you asks these scientists they’re the main ones who thought you back,” one said with his arms crossed. “Besides you have other things to worry about, you’re back and that’s what matters,” one of them said, I huff, after changing I wore s green crop top with a army cargo pants, my hair was out. Al I could do was stare at my new self, being an avatar… it feels weird, having a tail and cat ears, it’s actually cool, I cannot see what the others fucking crying like weak bitches see, I was brought to the main area where the other avatar people that were brought back as well were.

I stood off in the corner not wanting to be around them, “we have been brought back as our former enemy,” a familiar voice spoke, soon a man walks into view leaving me wide eyed, “we’ll find them and destroy them and everything they know,” quaritch said menacingly, I couldn’t believe my eyes it was him he was back too!!! I stood off in the back watching everyone and didn’t feel comfortable nor didn’t want to be around them so I leave walking down the hall, “lost young lad?” He questions making me stop in my tracks, i looked forward before turning my head “why would I be?” I ask sarcastically, “I feel like I know you, you look very familiar,” he says, “we’ll keep feeling maybe you’ll actually see,” i sassed and attempted to leave to leave till he grabs my arm yanking me back “you smart talking me girl?!” He hissed “yea and what about it… don’t talk to me like I’m one of your bitches in that room, they maybe sucking your dick every damn day but I sure as hell ain’t one of em, so I suggest you let me go before I snap your jaw off your skull killing you again and making sure you don’t come back the next time!” I threatened harshly, the boys ooed snickering around as quaritch only gave me a smirk and let me go.

But I elbowed him in the stomach making him wince grunting in pain, I walked away angrily.

The next few days I was watching videos of the old me, I couldn’t believe I was brought back to life because of this sick humanity, storing my memory just to make a puppet! It angered me so much, I looked out looking around the forest, noises came from above and the men aimed their guns at the prolemuris “scared of prolemuris?” I smirked shaking my head, they side eyed me but I could careless because it wasn’t my fault they were really a bunch of pussies that claim their the top dawgs. I walk forward and look around, i come across a old shack or something, I went over there and looked around and went inside my eyes go wide realizing this is the school. The school they shot innocent children, “what is this place?” One asked “you should fuckin know what it is,” I said with a snappy tone.

“Watch the attitude,” he said, “or fuckin what?!” I walked up to him he aimed his gun at me but I continued walking forward “if you can’t fight me fist to fist like a real man then you shouldn’t be existing, all y’all know is shoot, so scared to loose a fight so y’all shoot,” I said …

To be continued👀?….

[g30citiesexe]

community characters according to how i see them treated by fans but its all the worst possible ways ive seen them

abed. either infantilized to all hell and back or called a complete sociopath with no empathy selfish Dick no in between. these takes are both horrible.

jeff. stripped of all nuances and used a pseudo “literally me guys!” character for dudebros who think that Yes, leading on an 18 year old when you’re like What About 40 is a good idea and totally not Nasty Gross

britta. either irrelevant because she’s britta and We Don’t Care About Her She Sucks! or just used as endless fodder to make “Oh Brittas In This???” jokes, the most Original joke in the fandom Ever/j. annie. people who sexualize her Especially like older men who make “oh Annie’s pretty young 😏😏😏😏 😉 😉” jokes. i am going to kick your face i hate those jokes

pierce: Does Anyone like pierce??? if you do i have nothing to say to you. shirley: either completely overlooked or just mentioned as being Annoying Christian Lady. for shame that the writers didn’t give shirley as many plotlines after a certain point because maybe then this wouldn’t happen. and Maybe if the writers gave us more jeffshirley we could have gotten something good but Naur

troy: characterized only as being Abeds Boyfriend who exists only to Serve Abed as a Character and his whole arc revolves around him and Abed like you know oh its Barbie and Ken it’s Troy and Abed they can’t be individuals for more than Two Seconds and not being His Own Person which the show Totaaalllly didn’t have a whole arc about why this is a bad idea and how the idea of trobed Gay and Troy being His Own Person can coexist peacefully together and frolic happily in a meadow

[babiebom]

Would I give them Head (Apex edition)

A/N: I never write for apex, and I might never write for it again but since I have been playing everyday now I have some thoughts and decided that this could be the way I get them out <3 ALSO before anyone says anything their sexuality doesn’t matter this is literally if I would give them head or not and that’s it it’s purely from my pov.

Tw: gone SEXUAL(obviously), cursing, even though these people are male I included Bloodhound even though they are they/them because I am attracted to them.

Wc: at least 3 points for each

Apex Masterlist

Fuse

Yes

He’s a dilf

Seems like he’d call me a good girl while I suck him off :)

Also his accent is great!!

I’m not super attracted to him but am enough to indulge him once.

Ballistic

Hmmmm

On one hand I want to strangle him

And on the other I find his cockiness attractive because of reasons I think I have already discussed on my blog

So it would have to be a really good day for me to be like y’know what? Sure!! Pull out your cock old man!!

Pathfinder

Does he have a pp?

Or genitals at all?

I’m gonna just pretend that he does

And yes

He’s a very good boy and I would give him head in a very friendly way

He deserves it <3

Octane

Yes

Literally I am so attracted to him for absolutely no reason

Like I genuinely have no idea but I would give him the best head of his life

I am so in love with him that his kill quips don’t even make me upset.

Revenant

His kill quips full me with rage

But the answer is yes because he’s kinda sexy

In a “I wish I could bash his head in” kinda way :)

Would do it just to ruin every future day of his.

Bloodhound

Yes!!

Idk what kind of genitalia they have but yes!!

I love them with my whole heart they seem so sweet.

They deserve good head and a relaxing day!!

Crypto

Yes

His accent is cute

But also it wouldn’t be a reoccurring thing simply because wi find him slightly annoying

It’s mostly how people play as him but like

He makes me upset

So I’d give him good head then head out for some milk.

Seer

Hmmmmmm

Maybe?

He’s attractive but I’m not attracted to him

So maybe a friendly handjob!!

Just to be nice

Gibraltar

I have no idea if I spelled this right autocorrect did something before I could check so oh well

But also no

He reminds me of stinky Bo binky and I hate it

No head for stinky men

Now he might not be as stinky

So I might give him a handjob because I feel bad that he is only a no because of stupid stinky.

Mirage

Sexiest man alive I swear

Even though his stupid clones trick me every single time

I do find him insanely attractive

Also because all of his lines are slightly awkward I’m like yes this man is perfect thank you

The answer is yea if you couldn’t tell.

Newcastle

Sure?

I mean idk much about this guy because no one ever plays as him

And I haven’t read anyone’s lore for real so idk their personalities outside of quips and how people play them

But he looks cool and i think his voice is cool so sure

Caustic

NO

I hate the fact that he’s stinky

Stinky men get no love from me

His “breathe it in” like makes me irrationally angry

STOP PUTTING THE STINKY EVERYWHERE J HAVE ASTHMA

NO HEAD FOR YOU

[omostuff490]

DNI: Minors, pedophiles and all its subcategories, zoophiles (furries don't count, if you're a furry, you're welcome here), transphobes, homophobes, racists, xenophobes, sexists of all kinds, yes women can be sexist too, suck it up, people who discriminate others for their religions, bodyshamers, abelists of all kinds, people who are disgusted by sexual topics and pee (because there's a lot of that on this blog, so I'm warning you, if you decide to interact anyway, that's on you), pro/anti shipers (I don't care what side you're on as long as you don't do anything that could harm others or yourself in real life (unless it's consensual BDSM) and I don't want drama on this blog because it's supposed to be a safe space!!!)

Master List

Hi! I'm J, I'm an 18 year old FTM (he/him/maybe they/it) (I'm mostly a guy, but I feel like a slight part of my gender isn't anywhere in the binary so to simplify things for the cis folk, I just say I'm a guy) and this is my blog where I post and talk about omorashi! I will be sharing my thoughts/opinions, tips, experiences and maybe even book recommendations if I start reading more omo stuff. I might write fics on here for fun too! Although my fics will probably only be with my own ocs. My inbox will be open if you have any questions or just wanna discuss omorashi with me. Please note, I do not want to sext anyone, especially older straight cis men who don't see me as a man. I'm down to flirt if I like you and share a little too much information, but that's it. Also I would like to mention that I have a fiancé (she/they), we're in an open relationship and we're polyamorous. I say this because 1, I'm very proud to have her in my life, especially as my fiancé and I can and will boast about them every chance I get. And 2, I might mention her here and there in my posts because I physically can't shut up about her. Please do not DM this blog and be creepy, I will block you. You can DM normally though, but I prefer you go in my ask box so we can have an open discussion. :3 If you are a minor, I can't stop you from reading my stuff, I know, I was that kid too not long ago, but please PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME ON THIS BLOG!!! Also if you're actually reading this, stay safe, ok? There's dangerous people on the internet who will try to take advantage of you. Don't let them, you're wonderful in your own way and deserving of genuine love and not manipulation even if you don't think so, you can and will get through this ❤️

Anyway, this is supposed to be a safe space, so please be nice to eachother, be respectful, don't yuk someone's yum, mind your own business, you're allowed to have your opinions, but don't push them onto others yada yada, you get it. Enjoy your stay!

[funkylilworm]

Name: Andy

Full name: Andy D. White

Age: 10 yrs old

Mental disability/ies: ADHD and Kleptomania

Race: Black

Ethnicity: Creole

Birthhome: New Orleans, Louisiana

Guide: Sedrick

Physical appearance:

Coco brown skin, hazel brown irises , plump nose, black locks (the tips being a dark purple), 27 inches tall, and around 270 pounds

Clothing Appearance:

A dark green and dark turquoise striped t shirt underneath dark grey overalls,light blue and black braces, a dark purple yellow and dark green cap , black glow in the dark sneakers, and a black backpack with a yellow star on the front

Items:

•School backpack (was just heading home before he first ended up in Fairyland)

•Lucky cap (dark green, dark purple, and neon yellow)

•Braces rubber bands

•Mystic Candy sword (w/ a sharp golden blade)

• Mr. Rawr ,extremely soft glow in the dark lion plush (will fuck up anyone that touches Mr. Rawr , Andy is extremely attached and overprotective of him)

•Black sneakers (stolen from a different guest in which he took down)

•Scrapbook

•His mom's hair product kit

Personality:

▪︎Positive traits-

Adventures ,Kind hearted, Takes shit from no one, Unique (very strange), Nerdy, Helpful, Brave

▪︎Negative traits-

Impulsive (adrenaline junkie), Stubborn ,Greedy , Insecure ,Unforgiving ,Snarky , Unpredictable

▪︎Nuetral traits-

Mute (does not speak at all) ,Steals anything that's not nailed down ,and Has a blank expression most of the time

Hobbies:

Parkour, skateboarding, exploring, karate (he took karate lessons before he ended up in Fairyland) , drawing sketching and/or doodling (an amazing artist), computer technician, Fandom culture, and magic tricks and card tricks

Likes:

Parkour, skateboarding, exploring, karate (he took karate lessons before he ended up in Fairyland) , drawing sketching and/or doodling (an amazing artist),computer technician, Fandom culture, and magic tricks and card tricks

Favorite food/s and drink/s:

Chocolate ice-cream cake(misses that), pepperoni and meatlovers pizza (misses that), cheese balls (misses that), lasagna (misses that), chili hot dogs (misses that), gumbo(misses that), and Benyas(misses that)

Dislikes:

Fairyland, the amount of traumatizing adventures he has to go through (knows that he has no choice), Gertrude , Cloudia, having constantly being jumped scared by how bright his surroundings is , wet socks , being interrupted , rude people, being shoved ,bullying ,loud chewing , his name being said incorrectly, being misgendered, bigots , creeps , and physical touch

Pet Peeves:

Wet socks, being interrupted, rude people, being shoved ,bullying ,loud chewing , his name being said incorrectly, being misgendered, bigots , creeps , and physical touch

Background/Backstory: Andy is a 10 year old that's from New Orleans, Louisiana and he lived with his physically mentally emotionally and psychologically abusive parents named Diamond E. White and Xavier A. White ,not only that but their parents always fought and argued.

The only solace Andy got was from his older sisters named Rosie J. White and Zariya B. White, his French teacher Louise Faucheaux , and his karate teacher Calvin Faucheaux (Calvin and Louise not only is two married men, but the two are a lot more fatherly towards Andy than Andy's own dad).

Until one day while heading home, Andy randomly got sucked into a hole that led to Fairyland!!

Name: Sedrick

Fullname: Sedrick L. MCNewton

Age: 24 yrs old

Mental disability/ies: Autism and OCD

Species:

Human (to guide): Andy

Physical appearance:

Really really small and chubby light green fly with yellow beady eyes

Clothing appearance:

Hot pink top hat, periwinkle purple monocle, light blue and periwinkle purple sweater, underneath the sweater is a white button up, and a hot pink bow tie

Personality:

▪︎Positive Traits-

Sophisticated ,Fatherly ,Charming, Intelligent ,Laid back ,Confident ,Snarky

▪︎Negative Traits-

Sleazy ,Lazy ,Greedy ,Materialistic (Really really loves money), Arrogant ,Can be a jackass at times ,Perfectionist,Addictive

▪︎Nuetral traits-

A big anxious scaredy cat

Hobbies:

Lockpicking and pickpocketing

Likes:

Money, Lockpicking, pickpocketing, looting , drama , adventures ( but only if it includes an award or payment), rewards , dabloons , chamomile tea, green tea, peppermint tea , and coffee

Favorite food/s and drink/s:

dabloons , chamomile tea, green tea, peppermint tea , coffee , snickerdoodle cookies, sugar cookies, cheese cake, and brownies

Dislikes:

Pet names, vulnerability, getting attached to people, the rich , Adventures, danger , long lines, waiting , people (hates socializing), socializing, loud chewing, Touching, shoving, germs , gross sounds noises and imagery , getting blood on his clothes , and black liquorice

Pet Peeves:

Long lines, waiting , people (hates socializing), socializing, loud chewing, Touching, shoving, germs , gross sounds noises and imagery , getting blood on his clothes , and black liquorice

Background:

Childhood- Had a terrible childhood, his dad proceeded to abandon him with his mom ,who than started abusing him (lived in a very rich family ,where his mom helicopter parented him)

Upbringing- Ran away where he ended up living a life on the road traveling as a child with no parents and living the life as a charming trickster that'll pickpocket and scam people out of their money to live

Adulthood- Now lives a lone where Queen Cloudia ended up assigning him as Andy's guide ,which he has tricked Andy into trying to abandon Andy multiple times before the two slowly but gradually started to trust each other