#old i say when the show finished in 2018 lol

[lover-of-mine]

How old is Tommy? Is the age gap bigger than Abby?

Okay, so, it's unclear how old Tommy is. I don't think they know either. Or didn't consider the continuity of it all. Because in the same episode they say Buck has been in the 118 for 7 years, they say Tommy has been at his station for 5 and we know Tommy left before Buck came in. The timeline is a mess, but we know Buck is 26 during season 1. Season 1 is during 2018, which would make Buck now around 31/32/33. This is Tommy in 2005. At this point he is a full pledged firefighter, who was also in the army before.

The internet tells me the training to become an army pilot takes between 12 to 18 months, the academy is another year plus another year as a probationary firefighter. Even if we assume he enlisted straight to the pilot training, and was discharged fairly quickly, he has to be at least 22 here. BUT, the internet also tells me that to be a pilot in the army you need a bachelor's degree. So he would have to go to college for 4 years before getting the pilot thing. Assuming he joined the air force as soon as he turned 18 and got the degree and did the training in parallel (which I'm not sure you're allowed, I'm pretty sure if you enlist you have to serve before they cover your studies) and only had to take the official test to become a pilot after he got the degree, not having to wait the additional year, he would be 22 by the time he became a pilot. I'm assuming he would have to serve for at least a year once the training was done. So say he got discharged at 23, instantly joined the academy, finished the academy at 24, and this is right after he got his shield, he was 25 in 2005, so he has to be 44. He's at least 42. I mean, that is if we are expecting the show to be consistent with their timeline and do any type of research before saying shit about characters in the army, which they definitely don't since Eddie was way too young to be a staff Sargent. Either way, he's definitely in his 40s. Realistically, he's pushing 50. But again, who the fuck knows when it comes to this show. The only age we can say for sure here is Shannon's because we saw a definitive birthday lol.

[longeyelashedtragedy]

granit and uhhhhhhhhh šime 😭

i was legit just thinking about šime earlier today 😭

@colorsofmyseason also asked me granit so i will answer š's here and then tag u in that one!

favorite thing about them: man, of everyone who's made an appearance on my favs list, he is absolutely the most mysterious, both because he is mysterious but also because he would rarely do an interview in a language i can understand (tyoma is monolingual but somehow very understandable anyway 😂). šime speaks spanish and english but would only really do interviews in croatian or italian i feel like. so i feel like i know so little about him! but of course: he has the absolute most beautiful footballer tattoos (that BUTTERFLY!!!), fantastic taste in music, and his sense of style--a little more alternative/edgy than other footballers. he's clearly a guy who did his own thing without seeking a lot of external validation, and it was fascinating how he comes across as very mysterious but very steady at once. he's also very uniquely beautiful--there is that "you can tell a lot about a person based on whether they think šime or dejan is hotter" concept 😂 and the whole tungelr knows where i stand on this, but, damn if šime's slutty pirate/širen self isn't captivating to stare at. i miss him SO much and think constantly about how he essentially gave his whole career to the 2018 world cup without realizing.

something else is how humble and normal he always came across. of course you can only know about these people what they put on social media, but back when he was active on there, he was never vacationing to dubai or ibiza or on some yacht--he'd go home to Zadar and repair old cars with a grungy tshirt tied around his head.

least favorite thing about them: that he knocked up some Instagram Hot Lady and got together with her! and disappeared off social media and is made of literal glass! promise i'm not showing favoritism--i don't think šejan had a dramatic and bad breakup, but i think science kind of proves that the breakup was driven by šime bc dej is persistent as fuck and clearly a very devoted long distance boyfriend 😂

favorite line: omg i can't remember the exact translation of it, but it was during the wc when he was like "you film me doing everything, you'd probably film me taking a piss" and dej was like "THAT'S RIGHT!!!" i mean, the šejan lajvs had a ton of classics that i could go back and find, but i'm contractually obligated to say that one

brOTP: ŠLUKA! i loved their drunk asses together at the Slutty Pirate Party in zadar after the wc

there's a lotta good photos but obviously this one has širtless content so... I also feel like šime and domo would make a great brotp.

notp (switching these next two around): probs will piss off some section of gen z tumblr saying this kind of thing but...his girlfriend/fiancee/wife/whoever. just...Not feelin the vibe

otp: i mean...

to see šejan, two grown ass men, in hysterical giggles in their own private world, is something else entirely. those 2 really had something going on. they kind of had "read each other's minds and finish each other's sentences" vibes, except they were usually laughing too hard to even finish a sentence. at the same time, šime's calm, even energy was obviously so healthy for dejan's uh, in the words of Mo, stormy head. it breaks my heart that it is over.

(PLUS. when deki said šime should get his name tattooed on him on šime's pornographic workout livestream...)

(i think all my other photos are on insta somewhere)

random headcanon: i don't think i have one? in mare liberum, i want to figure out the headcanon about how he uh...got Cursed to become...what he is (NO SPOILERS even though i think mare liberum only has one reader lol).

unpopular opinion: idk what would be unpopular? i think that like, his playing when he wasn't injured was super underrated.

song i associate with them: so these are songs i associate with him because i've seen him listening to them:

badr hari by grše | california love by dr dre/2pac | i'm still standing by elton john (LOL) | klinka by jala brat (the song in the background of the Pissing Video).

jgb edit of deixa a gira girar by os tincoãs because i listened to this on repeat while writing 5.VII lol. i think i wrote the entire bathroom porn scene in 1 sitting and i needed something awesome to power me through

and then also... song for the siren by this mortal coil | o meu amor marinheiro performed by carminho (this song makes me cRYYYYyyY...i think it played a big part in inspiring mare liberum)

favorite picture:

ok i know this seems like a copout because it doesn't have his face, but...there's something about it

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

hi!!! so i have been following your YouTube channel since (checks calender) 2018 so it's been a while, and I'm a huge fan, just a lil shy (you're so cool holy shit, your writing is mind blowing, aaaaaa), so ANYWAY the point of this ask is, body back sounds awesome, might i request some more vibes perhaps 👀👀👀

Omg hi!!!! I could cry to learn someone’s been watching my videos for so long 😭 thank you for all your support!! ❤️ when people think I’m cool it makes me v excited because I’m really just a little gremlin IRL! Happy you like my writing & appreciate all the engagement!

Of COURSE I can send more vibes for BB! First, here's just an excerpt because I'm about to go ham under the cut lol:

The pool he floats in belongs to a young couple. The man works real estate according to the signs Harrison’s seen of his face peppered around the neighbourhood. He’s wondered if that’s ever humiliating, to constantly see pixelated versions of yourself everywhere. But that doesn’t matter. His wife walks dogs in her free time, which means always. Last week, Harrison watched her jog with a vizsla, and just yesterday she spent the morning on their gable-roofed veranda brushing a wispy Alaskan malamute. That was the same veranda Harrison passed on his way to their yard’s fence. Perhaps they wanted someone to do what he did: hook his boot into the crisp rung of their gate, then swing right over. Why else would it have been so easy?

More in-depth BB rambles under here!

CW: drug addiction, mental illness, violence & suicide.

This project is taking over me right now, which might be a way of my brain procrastinating finishing Seventh Virtue (LOL), but I’ve learned to just lean into the hyperfixation so we’re here now!

I really felt drawn to write BB because of this extremely complex thing Harrison goes through in Moth Work that unbeknownst to 17-year-old Rachel who wrote it, she reaaaaaallllly relates to now at 21. I've been unable to stop thinking about this since re-reading MW, because I somehow profoundly represented this experience at 17 that I'm now undergoing at 21.

Harrison is supporting someone who needs a LOT of help (at this point in MW, Lonan’s been an addict for about 3 years, is chronically depressed, is in a constant disocciated state, has attempted suicide twice in less than a year). He feels responsible for this because he loves this person very much--he WANTS to help Lonan. But I don't think he realizes how much effort this will entail and that he himself doesn't have the sole power to "fix" anything. But he’s so young—how long can he handle this before he himself breaks?

The answer is: not long! One could say Harrison’s fatal flaw in MW is not wanting to change. He doesn’t WANT to leave Lonan behind because he doesn't WANT to lose him, he doesn’t WANT a relationship with his mom, Suzanna. At the same time, his life is at this tenuous impasse: things CANNOT sustainably continue in the state they're in, but he's terrified of them changing. And by the end of the book, both of those things happen—it’s his arc. The loose end is the prior point: he's terrified of change, but now the change has happened.

What I want to do in BB is take that loose end and light it on fire. I want to show what happens when that change happens. It's NECESSARY change, but in this moment, feels like the worst decision possible. BB is about the in-between space of being in a destructive relationship & eventually putting yourself first. For Harrison, the experience is extremely messy. He craves intimacy badly but has no idea how to love anyone but Lonan. He craves independence but is also scared of it: how do you start your own life when the last few years have been focused on someone else's?

In Moth Work, he creates the beginnings of a relationship with a man named Jeremiah (to be clear: H&L aren’t dating in MW, they never canonically actually date unlike how I make it sound LOL, only in the Seventh Virtue AU are they a couple!). Jeremiah is a really interesting character in Harrison's life because he represents something "normal." Here's when Harrison meets him in MW:

The motel is named after a dead woman—The Greta Arquette. Harrison discovers this while absently thumbing through a brochure at the empty front desk. The lobby is decorated with vintage clocks and floral wallpaper and it makes sense—the woman it’s dedicated to died at 92. He’s on page six when a young man with an earring and a hair pick appears behind the desk.

Harrison shuts the brochure and slots it back into the display. “Can I get a room?” he asks, already fumbling for his wallet.

“Long ride?”

The clerk—Jeremiah, according to his nametag—smiles. His skin glows amber under the lanterns hung from the ceiling, and his hair looks too good for 2AM. The collar of his uniform pastes underneath his sweater, and it’s almost charming, this unnoticed mistake.

Wait up for my video later today (3PM EST!!) where I literally in-depth analyze a couple scenes with Jeremiah (since I talk more about this there), but essentially, Harrison gets a small taste of what it might be like to be a "typical" 21-year-old here. It entails dancing with people you think are cute, enjoying each other's company without doing anything at all, going to breakfast, etc... All things he and Lonan have never done.

In BB, I want to show the breakdown of this "normal" relationship as Harrison more and more self-destructs to self-preserve. He literally cannot handle this change he's incited--who is he at all without Lonan? He doesn't know, and he can't handle that he doesn't know, so he "goes bad." There's brief mentions of this turn in Feeding Habits where Harrison addresses he was a bit of a disaster when he and his mother lived in Las Vegas, which is why his main goal in FH is to "restart" in NYC (and it's why he also gets destructive again in NYC when his second reboot fails).

I always knew elements of what happened to Harrison in Las Vegas, but didn't know the extent. In FH, the only element we're certain of is when he runs into the same woman Lonan runs into in ch. 6 of Moth Work. He essentially ends up being beat up badly, which for him (mostly his mother, Suz) is the last straw and what makes them pack up to NY.

It was only later, when he stumbled, bloody knuckled, through their front door, stepping over partygoers and martini glasses, that he understood. He hadn’t come to the party thinking about Lonan but managed to attract the same people. He hadn’t drunk the magenta liquid thinking about him but managed to exit the house stumbling, as Lonan did, his knees knotted like a newborn lamb's. There was something inconceivably indissoluble about them—their bond mirror-like, one making a decision, and the other mimicking it with vigour somewhere else, unknowingly inseparable.

But I've been wanting to write what happened BEFORE this, in the time between, which is what BODY BACK is going to be! Here's an excerpt from FH (ft. Jeremiah) that takes place during this timeline:

They saw each other in brief, neon stints. Drinking in his one-bedroom, after Jeremiah’s shifts at The Greta Arquette—a dingy motel—clattering, limb by limb, under his Styrofoam disco ball and calling it dance. They knew each other so little but so well. Where each groove of skin and bone on the other’s body was, what limbs could notch so perfectly together, like nubs of old soap fused together.

The vibes are going to be pretty much the above! Mirror balls, pop music, drugs in misty rooms, eat the rich, etc.

I've been excited to write this story because it shows a side of Harrison I only barely understood when I wrote Feeding Habits. It's actually why Feeding Habits was IMPOSSIBLE for me to write, because I was still seeing Harrison in "caretaker" mode when he actually was rejecting that fully. I wasn't used to seeing him make bad decisions. For all accounts, Harrison is a terrible person in FH. He takes advantage of his mother's kindness, he disappears to scare her, he's self-medicating, he's inviting Reeve to his place under the guise of catching up with an old friend when he actually doesn't care at all about her and only wants to see a glimpse of Lonan's face, he's stealing from the vulnerable, and doesn't want to stop any of it. FH is really Harrison's destruction arc, and BB is going to explore HOW that happened--what triggered those events?

I'd always seen Lonan as the "issue" in their relationship. This was natural in a lot of ways since Lonan started out as a literal villain (lol), but also mostly because I emotionally related to him most back when I was writing him. ALLL my negative emotions and struggles went right to him. It's why Lonan was my favourite character all throughout my teenage years. What I didn't expect is that at the age they're at in this book (21), I'd suddenly understand Harrison on a very, very different level. This is also another reason I want to write this like NOW because I'm 21 and in a similar (albeit wayyyy less dramatic) era. Is this sort of going to be autofiction, maybe!

I think in MW, Harrison doesn't feel much like an "adult" yet. in BODY BACK, he KNOWS he's an adult, and goes a little too hard knowing he can do whatever the hell he wants. If Harrison can do what he wants, it means he can reclaim himself even if it means destruction along the way. What's he willing to do to get his body back?

That's a q to ponder!

It's going to be lots of fun! LOL

[robotsandramblings]

this is a purely self-indulgent post, that i'm posting here for self reference lol :P don't mind me!

(it's continuing from a previous post where, in the tags, i was trying to figure out exactly when i got into the Star Wars tv shows specifically! -i've been a fan of the movies for literal decades, having been introduced to the original trilogy in the mid 1990s. [yes i old lmao.] -but i never watched Clone Wars or Rebels when they first aired; i've actually only been involved with the tv shows, books and comics within the last 5 years or so! -so below is my self journey to determine exactly when i started watching that stuff! it's literally just blahblahblah random irrelevant information, for my own reference)

the final answer, for those who care, lol: Spring (Apr/May) 2020! so not even 5 years really??! wow, it feels like so much longer!!!

so yes, Spring 2020 (April & moreso May) is when i really got into the TV side of things. i had plans for many years to check out Clone Wars and Rebels, and i remember hearing all the big news and hype about TCW Season 7 in 2018-2019, which made me really say "ok i need to check this out!"

but The Mandalorian was actually my first SW tv show ever! yet i don't think i watched it right away lol?? it aired Nov-Dec 2019, but i wasn't reblogging Mando content until April 2020. (checks archives: yep, still mostly into Transformers! and even a fair amount of Voltron ahahaha oh god.)

so i also didn't watch Clone Wars S7 while it aired, which i knew. ironically, i did start the series from the beginning at the same time the S7 finale aired! (i found a text post dated May 2nd 2020.) no doubt it was all the buzz about the finale that really pushed me to check out the series!!

and then i found another text post from Nov 11 2020 saying i had just finished the emotional Season 5 finale. and with Season 6 only have 13 episodes, i'm sure i finished that one soonafter...and i'm guessing i finally got to Season 7 in Nov-Dec 2020. (i keep track of everything i read in Goodreads, and it says i read Son of Dathomir mid-Nov, and then Ahsoka mid-Dec. most likely S7 was sandwiched inbetween them.)

then Jan or Feb 2021 was Rebels. (again, per my books read, i read the Kanan comics and started the Thrawn novels in February. i know by then i was following a chronological list of media, and i would have read the Thrawn books in prep for Rebels S3.)

and for whatever reason, i just wasn't reblogging TCW nor Rebels on my tumblr - not until Sept 2021. i think i was waiting to finish Bad Batch S1 in its entirety first??? (finale was mid-Aug 2021.)

a fun side story, a strong memory of mine: when The Bad Batch trailer was released in April 2021, i remember Rex had his little 1 second cameo, and the sheer excitement that i felt!!!!!, and how the whole fandom was losing our minds!!!!!!!

anyways, it's most likely i made sure to have Rebels finished by the time Bad Batch premiered on May 4th 2021.

and then i immediately was reblogging SO MUCH Bad Batch, and like i said earlier, it's when i started reblogging TCW and Rebels as well. (i never really did a proper Rebels lookthrough of the tags and such, i don't think??? i really should! with my 2nd rewatch i'm still trying to do LMAO!)

and then, in terms of books, after the Thrawn trilogy, i was really only doing the encyclopedias and art books for awhile, until summer 2021 when i did Dark Disciple, which started my official foray into the disney canon novels!

there you go Rora, now you have a reference post for every time you're like "how long have i been into TCW, Rebels, Bad Batch????" because it really does feel like forever already! <3

[seahdalune]

Seana’s 2020 art highlights (a thread)

(Note: this is a reupload of a thread i did on twitter a few years back. so these are really old.)

January: i didn’t draw anything complete that month.... closest thing i could find to finished is this art i made of my OC, Angelord. man. remember when i drew my OCs? [2023 note: it's..... funny you say that. you would try to start up an original comic for the entirety of next year.... not that it ever came to fruition.]

February: i finished Link’s Awakening that month. i drew Marin bc i thought she was cute. i wish i could get motivated to draw fanart of recent video games i finished more... this is probably the last proper traditional art i made this year... after this, it’s mostly digital.

March: look. i’m attempting anatomy... and i failed lol. i remember being like “how do you draw woman” after drawing this... i mean. i still wanna know how to draw woman, so i guess i haven’t changed lol. [2023 note: I STILL DONT KNOW HOW TO DRAW WOMEN]

April: wait NVM here’s another traditional piece i made this year. he was an adoptable i made... but nobody was interested in them so he’s with me for now. i’ll try and redesign them, either to sell them or to keep him. [2023 note: i never sold this guy.... i was lazy and nobody values points these days. probs for the best because scamming children with virtual coins is probably not a good idea lmao. at the same time, i wish there was an easy way to buy and sell designs+commissions without having to get a credit card or paypal or something.]

May: another month where i didn’t draw anything. buuut i did some plush sketches to reference so das dat. [2023 note: you'll probably be able to name most charas here, but who's the guy i drew the most? that's Matteo, he's a little pink vampire and i made him through Gatcha Life.]

June: ah. the month where i started digital art. this was fanart for my friend’s OC. i didn’t know a lot of features of digital art so it looks like shit LOL not the first digital art i made ever, but it might as well be. [2023 note: i actually received my tablet around 2018, but i never had time to draw on it because i had 1 hour of screentime every day. this restriction was finally lifted in 2020 (because online classes) and i finally had time to venture out into the world of digital art...]

July: i made a lot of stuff this month, but to shorten the list... i finished the plush of my OC, Matteo. i wanna make another plushie... maybe with Suitcase.

this was also the month i joined the OSC... oh hell. it’s been 6 months?? [2023 note: 2 YEARS BITCH. ITS GONNA BE YOUR 3RD ANNIVERSARY if i didn't get so tired and started to hate the community so much.]

August: ...ergh. lets get over with this month quickly... Object OCs this. Object OCs that.

occasional Algebians.

i do not like the art here... it really shows that i’ve improved. ok let’s get outta here. [2023 note: i fucking despise the person who asked me why "they were old" to my humanizations of the Dangos. this is why i refuse to join another public server ever again and might have contributed to the delay of my human drawing skills.]

September: lots of Taco II. i seriously liked her a lot. still do, but the love is a bit more spread out between characters.

oh. and i watched ONE that month. cool.

October: i finally found a style that i could weld. hooyah.

don’t ask why i drew my friend as a cat maid... i thought it was funny ok.

September: the month of gift art. nothing else to say, but i like the thin lines. yes, ‘thin’. ...god i need to think of better things to say. [i would then realize i said the wrong month, and unlike tumblr, i cannot edit tweets once published, so my only option was to delete the whole thing and start over. or just say this:] did i just say September... oh for fucks- no i am not fixing this i’m already tired of this just imagine i said November ok

December: best art of this year so far (doh) nothing to say. just... happy that i improved. can’t wait to improve even more.

[hey look! i was in the 2020 JnJ christmas video! thats me! me!!]

aaand, that’s all for this year! man, i thought i was done with improvement. i can’t believe i proved myself wrong. usually other people do that for me lol. lets see if i can disprove myself again in 2021.

[radmista]

read the tags on ur reblog AND U ARE SO RIGHT ABT THE 2018 TMNT FANDOM- It’s honestly like the tumblrifcation of the franchise which i dont rlly mind cuz its still SUPER fun it just attracts those kinds of people- (literally traumatized by the yaoification of leo)

I’d say you should rewatch the 2012 since thats the one i grew up with too and its good outside of the weird side romance narratives they keep pushing- ROTTMNT is good but its pretty short and wayy less serious in its theme so it all rlly depends on what you like specifically :3

I barely touch it, so much so that idek how or why yt algorithm constantly spits out the kinds of videos I mentioned in the tags at me. Like I report them each time YouTube, stop telling me to watch it! It can't be the same video it has to be multiples, which makes me even more concerned at just HOW pervasive the homophobia must be within the TMNT 2018 fandom. I really rather liked TMNT when it remained a relative 'fringe' media to be into. Like, it wasn't a huge thing for teen girls or tumblr chicks to be into and instead you just had weirdo deviantart chicks into it. Who while also incredibly fucking weird, at least weren't... tumblr about the show.

The yaoification of Leo and somewhat Donatello that I've seen has nearly completely put me off the new show lmao. I only still consider watching it bc my gf shows mild interest in TMNT and it seems ROTTMNT would be her choice of entry, but if shes fine watching the 2012 series I'm choosing that one XD. I'm fine with a more lighthearted fun show, but I enjoyed the 2012 series for being fun and also kinda dark at times (that rat episode man). That's what I like about TMNT at least lol, weird radioactive tutrtles fighting evil shredder guy. I may rewatch the 2012 series for old times sake and to actually finish watching it! I think my sister and I left off around the ep where they made a submarine propelled by pedaling.

[anewbeginningagain]

So I was watching some old Canadian nationals and world championships videos from 2015-2018 quad during the holidays and it was the first time I noticed how weaver poje became really successful in 2014/15 but then after VM came back they were dropped like stones so fast that I can only imagine how much they resented VM for it. How was it back then? Was there resentment from w/p and their fans toward VM?

LOL feels like everyone is feeling nostalgic post holidays.

Basically, it was all pretty wild. WeaPo had a surprising success in 2014/15 winning both their GPs and GPF over P/C, then winning 4CC and looking so strong for worlds only to drop to 3rd. P/C's questionable rise aside, WeaPo did what WeaPo always do and lost a lot of points over levels and while looking at the protocols shows they had no chance of beating P/C (their win was all but predetermined at that point), they still lost to C/B over levels. Then during 2015/16 they once again won both their GPs and GPF (in the absence of P/C who were out because of a concussion) but then completely fucked up at 4CC again over lost levels and bad twizzles (which will become a recurrent habit for them all through the quad) getting level 1 lift, level 2 twizzles and level 2 spin, it was a miracle they even got 3rd tbh. Coincidently or not, 4CC dance event finished on 2/19/2016 which is exactly one day before Tessa and Scott announced their comeback which WeaPo knew was going to happen. Then at 2016 Worlds they dropped hard finishing 5th again due to lost levels and bad twizzles.

Those results basically halted any momentum they had and really set them back. Add to that Tessa and Scott's comeback and WeaPo choosing bad material and changing at least one program 3 years straight and also switching the (according to rumors) the only coach willing to take them - and they really had no chance to rise after that.

As for how they took it - not great, they gave an interview that sounded really bitter and unkind at first claiming they were blindsided which was a joke considering basically everyone and their mothers suspected TS are coming back since like at least November 2015, and TS also mentioning that they told them before it was announced. Then they also gave some kind of how the comeback is not related to them and they will always be Kaitlyn and Andrew or something of that sort which even made the reporter be kind of mean to them tbh... They seemed friendly during the second year of TS comeback but it was always clear there was resentment there at least to some degree.

As for how their fans took it - not great either LOL. They were frustrated and kept saying TS had their time and now it's WeaPo's turn and they are ruining it for them. It was all very much the opposite of what sport is about. One anecdote that really stayed with me is a TS fan who was on tumblr and really loved them and also became a WeaPo fan and for a while even after TS announced their comeback she was ok with it all, but then she decided it will be great to lie that she saw TS kiss during Boston Worlds (not a single soul bought that) and then when WeaPo had a really bad season in 2016/17 (and after in 2017/18 too) she decided that it was TS fault and completely turned on them. Fun times LOL. Long story short, most WeaPo fans resented TS too and were mostly bitter about their success in the comeback.

[nightroo]

Long time no see huh

I have a bunch of stuff to post that I don't really feel like going through the hassle of organizing, so instead I’ll post a 30 minute redraw of an eye.

Anyway, since it's been a while since I painted (I can thank uni for that), and I just finished a sketch of a big painting, I wanted to do something to warm up. I remembered a very old drawing of Alies’s eye I did ages ago. I actually redrew it in the past, but i don't think I ever posted it... so ill post everything here.

So the original, from 2017, is one of the oldest digital drawings I still have on my pc. And it shows lol

I think this is actually a screenshot because I didn't know how to export back then. there’s not much to say about this tbh. it’s 6 years old, so obviously it’s pretty meh. But I had to start somewhere.

The next one is from 2018, when I started actually painting (with no lineart). Already the shape are wayyy better, and I learned how to use blending modes, which kinda carry the entire thing lol

now for the 2023 version, Alies’s design changed a lot, so it doesn’t look like the eye of the same person, but  I wanted to use his current design bc I like it more.

I really like how it turned out. It’s kind of insane to think that these were made by the same person. The 5 year progress is very satisfying.

I added a bit of the old green eye color to the new one, just to carry a bit of it over

[thesummerstorms]

So I didn't start reading comics as a kid.

(lots of rambling beneath the cut, though having just finished after writing, maybe the take away is 'N52 was not actually inviting as someone trying to get into comics for the first time'.)

At one point in high school I had some Green Arrow/Black Canary back issues my former step dad bought me when we went into a comic book store at complete random (he bought my then 9 year old brother Simpsons comics and then we never went back) but I was broke teen with no job who did not live in that area and did not pursue much further.

I didn't consider picking up comics until I was in college, and then I mostly started with Marvel because it was early days of the MCU and I saw a lot of the movies with friends. Other than Winter Soldier, I wouldn't say most of them stuck with me or were the best movies ever, but it did get me interested.

The DC movies on the other hand did not get me interested. The DC live action movies mostly sucked.

DC got my money, however, due to my childhood obsession with Dinah, specifically, from Justice League/Justice League Unlimited. (And her relationship with Ollie, I guess, but I wasn't super interested in him without Dinah.) PLUS my preteen fascination with the 2003 Teen Titans.

(That one was harder to carry over because as fun as the 2003 series was the characters were very different lol. They do NOT go into "Robin" and "Starfire's" full traumatic back stories or more adult characteristics in the 2003 stuff.)

So I just looked to see what my first DC purchases on Amazon + Comixology even ended up being and...

I clearly made my first attempts pretty soon after New 52? There is a New52 Batgirl book in the list right above Birds of Prey.... And then nothing DC for literal years.

So much Marvel and Star Wars, even a few non Big 2 things. No DC except rentals for the animated movies and shows.

I bought one digital issue of Green Arrow/Black Canary in 2014, and then DCdoesn't show up on my Comixology account until 2016 with Wonder Woman Rebirth.

Even though that whole time from 2014 on I was still buying the main SW comic, Darth Vader, Princess Leia, Wicked + Divine. I was buying anything I could with Black Widow (the Rucka book was a favorite, and I also read whatever the series was called with Bucky as Cap, dating Natasha. I kept that trade for a while, too.)

Apparently I didn't even pick up RHATO (which I mainly read bc a) sale and b) bulk purchase until then c) what the fuck is happening to Starfire morbid curiosity means I need to see it end) until 2018.

But you could not like at any point call me serious about the actual DC comics (again, I watched ALL the animation) until I apparently bought every single volume or issue of the 2016-2019 Green Arrow run (I cannot REMEMBER any of the plot, but I definitely READ all of it) , which finally lead somehow to the 2009 Batman and Robin run (which I bought and read all of in the span of a few days in 2020), then DCeased and Justice League Odyssey.

And now I'm actively trying to go back to some of the older stuff + looking for current publications to read. (I want to like Titans but it's very very hit and miss for me. I read one volume of TT's Nightwing and gave up.)

But like, I just feel like I could have very easily been an "easy" new fan for DC to grab since I had literally never heard of Marvel before the MCU but grew up with all the DC characters. My Uncle is STILL Superman's number one fan, my ex-uncle (? Aunt's ex husband) would throw any DC with Batman at us that he could when we were kids.

But I bounced SO HARD off on New 52 that they literally could not get me actually hooked until 2020, even though I started buying comic stuff in 2014.

[olivieraa]

Review of sorts lol

Ok, finished the gay Joey anime! ...Very very fast lmao

What to say, what to say...

Um, ok, the happiest I felt was hearing Joey's voice. I dont hear it in anything. In anything new, anyway. I rewatch YGO a lot, both dub and sub, mixed, random, all Joey's are Joey, even when they're Jounouchi

So his voice in anything is also Joey... well, unless he does a really creepy role. But I expect that with Kaiba's voice lmao or at least I used to. Dudes been getting only hot man roles lately, literally has the voice women (and men no joke) are drooling over

Every single one of them is about Kaiba's voice. He absolutely skyrocketed thanks to Jujutsu Kaisen

But, like I said, my boy Joey and his VA aren't getting any roles at all.

So him getting a lead character role was very pleasant for me. Making it a gay leading role was a huge bonus. It came out in 2018 and then the movie in 2021, during the years I didn't watch anime, but I would have fangirled like fuck if I'd been watching it weekly like I used to watch anime

Outside of that... It's pretty, most of the time. The animation can be quite inconsistent, but for the most part its a good looking anime. The movie was very pretty, the budget was upped.

Now, here's the thing. There was nothing particularly special about this BL story-wise. In fact, its very run of the mill. If you've seen or read enough BL, there are absolutely no surprises here. Nothing unexpected. Its just that this one is about actors. Actually I think Love Stage might have also been about actors... I cant fully remember. But you could replace the actors with musicians, or authors, or doctors. And you will get the same story. My fave of these run of the mill BL's is Gravitation, an old classic. This one tops it for me not only due to nostalgia, but I still sing "Spicy Marmalade" from the show all the time. It has the tuuuunes. And comedy.

But yeah, they're basically all just... general romance stories. Where there's no actual plot. And I'm the worst at judging this stuff bc romance as a genre is not for me. I've made posts about how I like romance as a side genre. I prefer an action series with a side case of romance. Like, if you take Jujutsu Kaisen, its purely action, no romance. But....... there eventually could be? It happened in HxH, and created a huge OTP for me. That's my thing.

Strictly romance animes, whether gay or straight, usually fall flat on me. The straight one's I'll give props to tho are Skip Beat and Kamisama with his pretty ass Bakura face

Actually Joey's voice was in this anime, he was an annoyed gay man lmao but again, these are old

So yeah, I cant judge the story. Judging from the comments, and I'm assuming 99% of them were from female fans, or fujoshis as they are called, it was well liked.

I gave it a 7 like I do with all of these types of romance animes that dont have something truly outstanding happen but aren't bad and are quite rewatchable. I did like when they went to Spain! It was just... v pretty.

There is, ofc, problematic stereotypical yaoi moments. Where would these generic stories be without them? Finding a pure, BL story is quite hard. Doukyuusei and Given are what I would consider to be non-stereotypical, if anyone wanted to compare. Both of those are lovely

But yeah, I had an enjoyable day binging the fuck out of it, which means I have a lot of work to catch up on! I did this to myself

Eh, what can ya do

[the-irish-mayhem]

onlyaloadofcodswallop replied to your post “hi, it's voltron anon again. sorry for the spam, i just don't really...”

WHAT! there's 70k Voltron fics!? Oh man.. I think I need to go rewatch Voltron again and go binge some fanfic

I TELL NO LIES.

You absofruitly should rewatch it. Perfect time to binge an old favorite.

[accio-victuuri]

Throwback CPN : White Windmill 🤍🎵

This is a post I’ve always wanted to make because it’s one of my favorite boxiao ( fandom ) related song and image. I just want something out there that covers this song and how important it is to the fandom. Also the image of the white windmill and how it reminds us/them of that summer. usual cpn disclaimer applies.

The song White Windmill is by Jay Chou which is everyone and their mother’s favorite singer. If you don’t know him, i’m pretty sure you’ve heard one of his songs and you just didn’t know it was him. lol. It is the 8th track of his studio album Still Fantasy released in 2006. Let’s see the lyrics (english translation) and if you’re someone who haven’t heard this song then play the fan video below cause it’s my favorite of all time and makes the experience better. @lzswy did a post about this song too if you also wanna read theirs.

A white windmill, turning quietly

A feeling so real, yet so far like a dream

We are two lines in and we need to take a pause already. A feeling so real yet so far like a dream. I’ll be talking about this interpretation in the 2018 timeline and what we “think” was going on between them at this time. It must have really felt like a dream to them, playing wangxian and in their own little world of filming. The two of them blurring the lines between fact and fiction.

Yibo getting jealous of LWJ + Xiao Zhan’s character bleed. Those instances that Yibo reminded XZ, “I’m talking about you and not WWX” was him trying to bring things back to what’s real. They know what they are feeling is real but it also seems like something that is not entirely theirs. Which parts are borrowed from playing the roles of wangxian and which one are Yibo and Xiao Zhan? and the more important question is, will it last last after ( filming )?

A year later, XZ does that Bazaar feature where says he met his love in a Dream / found love when he woke up from a dream. That may be confusing to some but those of us who understand gets it. He met Yibo in his dream ( Untamed filming ) and he found true love in reality when he woke up from it ( Ended filming / Post Japan trip and decided that his feelings are for Yibo and not LWJ ). ☁️

Sweet seawater, complicated tears

Looking at you smile foolishly, holding my hand

I hope this dream has no end

Us reaching this point is enough

Because I don't want this bliss to finish too soon

Too bad there isn't a blessing

When [I] love you [I] don't feel lonely

I won't let you cry anymore

This whole section just talks more about the happiness brought about by this “dream” and wishing it won’t end— that this is enough. Whenever I miss that summer ( even if none of us was there ) I always think about what they might have felt leaving the set. They are not “new” when it comes to joining a project or a crew but we can all agree that Untamed team was special. There are stories about them being upset during the last day of filming and crying.

The line “ I won’t let you cry anymore” reminds me of this post. Yibo telling GG this line. He literally said it while the song was playing so there’s not even a room for interpretation.

I'll carry you until the end

Can we please not look back?

You hugging me so tightly

Saying that you don't need any promises

You said that I'd be more free if I were alone

I don't understand what you're saying

I won't let go of your hand anyway

I’m using the 2018 timeline / falling in love during filming theory to interpret this part. I’m looking at this in Yibo’s perspective who does not understand why XZ is keeping a certain distance between them. The BTS ( both official and not ) show how shameless they are with each other but that may be a tiny part of the story. If you believe the infamous “assistant story” that was out there at some point it said something about people around them thinking that the romance had ended that summer. That Xiao Zhan is old enough to know better. He is experienced enough in life to not make something out of the spark he had with Yibo.

‘you said i’d be more free if I were alone’ is a line m that fits what XZ might have said to Yibo at some point. He sees 20-21 y/o Yibo who has his whole life ahead of him and he doesn’t want to complicate it. He understands that leaving/giving up on them makes no sense to Yibo but he would appreciate it one day. Think about being in Xiao Zhan’s position— adoring this young and talented man who obviously will be more popular in the future so you have to be careful. He doesn’t want to tie him down too. XZ just didn’t expect Yibo to hold on and not let him go ( well he did at one point to allow him to have some space but you know... ).

I'll carry you until the end

Can we please not think too much?

Could it be that with our hands together

we'd get to the end slower?

You said we shouldn't meet again just [to be together] for a moment

Thank you for letting me hear that

Because I'm waiting for eternity

Can you please not think too much? is such a Yibo to XZ line if I ever did hear one. We know how Yibo is with the things he loves, he is relentless. What he has put his mind to at the age of 21 he will be able to do so till he is 81. If they have their hands together, it wouldn’t end. This continues on his reasoning to XZ and the feelings they have, hoping XZ would see the truth and be with him. Yibo is straightforward and is not one to overcomplicate things. When I started in this fandom I thought it had something to do with his age but it’s not that. It’s his personality. He will make it work no matter how impossible it seems.

They have sung quiet a few songs together during filming and this one is a BXG Favorite. It’s interesting to see how they chose to sing this probably because they both liked it—- not knowing it will mirror their situation.

There is an analysis on this, zooming on Yibo’s face like he’s getting teary eyed. 🥲

This is another view of the moment but the fansite does not allow repost so if you can access weibo please watch it.

It is a bittersweet love song, which XZ gravitates towards. This moment was the day CQL wrapped so it just makes it more fitting. It is also the place where LWJ/WWX part so it really is some sort of life imitating art. They probably thought it was the end— they were wrong, It was just the beginning.

The “Windmill” Significance

What is the significance of "Chen Qing Ling"? The show has been filming for over 3 years. It's been on the air for 2 and a half years. Any changes to the filming locations are no longer relevant to the show. But it has a very important impact on the fans. There are not many dramas that can attract fans to check in and film the location- "Chen Qing Ling" is one of them. This site is located in the second-level protected area for tourism and appropriate development and construction should be approved first.

1. As with other locations of the Untamed, this is one that BXGs frequent and well, you can take beautiful pictures too. It is also a symbol of standing side by side atop the mountain ( should be snowy, but this one is not lol ).

2. It’s not only BXGs who loved these windmills as a subject to their photos, the Boys do too. Fans actually copied them.

Xiao Zhan’s cql filming wrap ups post featured two photos of the windmill.

Yibo had it in his background for his CQL wrap up post too:

I understand that it is aesthetically pleasing and not something you see everyday— that’s why it stuck with them. But I have a feeling, the things that happened in that location played a big part.

If you want to see more photos and videos on this set here is a compilation from different BXG fansites.

3. In the 160 minutes BTS released in 2020, they mentioned the windmill 👇🏼

Q: what scenery do u recommend from cql filming?

XZ: that windmill in that last scene was so beautiful, and there was a blue sky and white clouds

WYB: yeah yeah...and there was a mountain

XZ : and the huge windmill

4. In Xiao Zhan’s spring gala performance, one of the set design beside him are photos that he took and you can clearly see the white windmill. 👀 and he was looking at it.

5. In an SDC hotpot episode, he mentioned that he listens to Jay Chou. My turtle heart is hoping he has White Windmill in his playlist and listens to it 🎧

and that ends this post, I hope you enjoyed going down memory lane. 🤍

[tigerkirby215]

5e Annie Knowby, the Professor’s Daughter build (Evil Dead 2)

(Image from Evil Dead 2. Obtained from the Absolute Horror Wiki.)

Okay I’ll be honest: one of the main reasons I’m making a build for Annie was to have an excuse to share “All the Men in My Life Keep Getting Killed by Candarian Demons.” I watched the Evil Dead musical (live!) back in like... 2018 or something lol? But ever since then I’ve had this song somewhat stuck in my head for awhile. Honestly Evil Dead The Musical is great and I’m super glad to have seen it.

With that being said Annie Knowby is probably one of the most important characters in Evil Dead canon, or at least before the TV show came out. Being the daughter of the guy who indirectly caused this whole mess she ended up being one of the biggest sources of knowledge in the second movie, especially with her mom being Ash’s first big bad.

Shame old man Ash has pretty much surpassed her in Evil Dead: The Game for a good Leader. I don’t have any official stats to cite but from my personal experience Annie is probably one of the least popular characters in the game. Maybe I can give her some more to work with in D&D.

GOALS

Howitzer - Annie’s specialization is guns, which is why no one plays her in a game based mostly around melee weapons.

Haymaker - At least Annie is good at knocking enemies off their feet to open them up for her friends to finish them off.

Hellish Knowledge - Annie casts... a spell, in Evil Dead 2? It is the most important spell in the series though, and that’s enough justification for me to make her a spellcaster! But jokes aside Annie is also a smart cookie in her own right with plenty of wit to pass around.

RACE

Hey guess what; Annie is a human! And seeing as she doesn’t have any innate magic we’ll be going for good ol’ Variant Human. Increase your Dexterity and Intelligence by 1 for all sorts of expeditions into unknown ruins, Medicine proficiency to treat any cuts and scrapes you may get during your expeditions, and Abyssal which may work as Ancient Sumerian.

You also get a feat at level 1 and if you’re going to be shooting often you’d best shoot well. Crossbow Expert is good for close-ranged skirmishes since it’ll let you shoot in melee range and ignore the loading property of crossbows, but most importantly it will let you fire off one more round as a Bonus Action before letting the deadites try to swing at you!

ABILITY SCORES

15; DEXTERITY - You need to be dexterous to climb around old ruins... and shoot a gun.

14; WISDOM - Wisdom is good to know your way around the world, and know if someone’s possessed by a Kandarian Demon.

13; INTELLIGENCE - History takes a lot of intellect to understand. Good thing you picked up on your dad’s research!

12; CONSTITUTION - It’s a little lower than I’d like but I wanted roleplay stats more. You’re no Warrior, is the point.

10; CHARISMA - It’s not that you aren’t charismatic, but when you’re losing personality contests to the crazy guy covered in blood you found in your parents’ old cabin that’s really saying something.

8; STRENGTH - Sure Strength would help you climb up to high places, but that’s on Ed. Daddy wouldn’t want his darling daughter getting into danger.

BACKGROUND

Your dad might’ve been the head Archaeologist but that doesn’t mean you weren’t one yourself. You gain proficiency with History and Survival for your expeditions as well as your choice of either Cartographer’s Tools or Navigator’s Tools: I opted for the former but you can take the latter if you’d like. You can also grab a language of your choice and if Abyssal didn’t work for Ancient Sumerian I hope Infernal does.

Your background feature Historical Knowledge will let you identify any strange castles you may go to investigate, what purpose the English may have had for the strange pit in the middle of their courtyard, and most importantly: how valuable that book with a cover that looks like a human face is.

(Artwork from Evil Dead: The Game)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - FIGHTER 1

Starting Annie off as a Fighter perhaps isn’t lore-accurate, but it’s the best way to depict her abilities in Evil Dead: The Game (which is what I’m basing most of this build on since Annie in Evil Dead 2 mostly just swings and axe and knife around) and is also the best way to get Constitution saving throw proficiency.

It’s also a good way to get the Archery Fighting Style for +2 to your ranged attacks, and Second Wind to heal for a d10 plus your Fighter level as a Bonus Action.

LEVEL 2 - FIGHTER 2

Second level Fighters have a bit more stamina when they need it thanks to Action Surge, allowing you to take two actions in a round instead of one! For now this mostly just means one more shot with whatever weapon you may be using but further down the line this will go a long way!

LEVEL 3 - FIGHTER 3

Third level Fighters get to choose their Martial Archetype, and if you want weapons that can knock a deadite over look no further than the Battle Master. You get four Combat Superiority die (which are currently d8s) to use on a variety of Maneuvers, the main one to target balance bars of course being Trip Attack to stumble a foe and potentially make them trip so the nutjobs armed with axes and chainsaws have an easier time mutilating your former boyfriend.

Other than that Precision Attack won’t increase your damage but it will help you aim better (which will help you do more damage if you opt for Sharpshooter), and Distracting Strike will let you sing a familiar song to distract a deadite long enough to saw its limbs off.

And to top it off Student of War gives you proficiency with an Artisan’s Tool of your choice, and in order to understand ancient texts Calligrapher’s Supplies would let you understand the exact meaning behind eldritch penmanship.

LEVEL 4 - FIGHTER 4

4th level Fighters get their first Ability Score Improvement and seeing as we’re mostly just shooting currently I say increase your Dexterity by 2 for more precise shots and a better chance at ducking away from anyone who might try to grab you from behind a wooden door.

LEVEL 5 - FIGHTER 5

5th level Fighters get Extra Attack to shoot with both barrels. Along with your Bonus Action that includes three whole barrels of fun! ...Well maybe you’re actually wielding a hunting rifle.

(In-game render from Evil Dead: The Game.)

LEVEL 6 - CLERIC 1

1st level Clerics get to choose their subclass at level 1, and you know what’s a bad subclass that’s thematically appropriate for Annie? Knowledge domain, of course! You’ve been to enough exciting places with your dad to learn two languages (which you can pick as you fancy) and you get expertise with two skills related to general knowledge: seeing as you already have History proficiency take expertise in Arcana and Religion.

You also get access to Spellcasting as a Cleric, obviously. As a Knowledge Cleric you get Command and Identify added to your spell list, both of which are good spells to have. Other than that you can learn 3 cantrips such as Guidance to help out where you can, Light to see with your dumb human eyes, and Mending to fix any holes in the cabin walls.

You can also prepare three spells from the Cleric list such as Bless to lead the party with stat boosts, Cure Wounds for some basic medical triage, and Detect Magic to... detect magic. But it is important to mention that as a Cleric you can swap your spells out after a Long Rest, and there’s plenty of good options on the Cleric spell list that would be useful to take to a cabin in the woods.

LEVEL 7 - CLERIC 2

Second level Clerics get their Channel Divinity which they can use in three different ways. All Clerics get Turn Undead to force a Wisdom saving throw as you shout at evil to let you leave. If the evil dead fail their save, they’ll leave you alone! At least for a minute or until they take damage, anyways.

If you read Tasha’s Book of Vile Darkness then you should also know about Harness Divine Power, letting you recover a spell slot equal to half your proficiency bonus (rounded up) once per long rest. And finally as a Knowledge Domain Cleric you can use Knowledge of the Ages to gain proficiency with one skill or tool for 10 minutes!

Yeah Knowledge domain is infamously outdated, but hey this lets you shape up in any areas those two random hillbillies you had lead you to the cabin were lacking in. I’d say use this information to translate ancient texts but... you already have expertise in Arcana.

At least you can prepare another spell like Healing Word, for an emergency pick-me-up.

LEVEL 8 - CLERIC 3

3rd level Clerics can prepare 2nd level spells like Lesser Restoration to help any shell-shocked allies. You also get both Augury and Suggestion automatically as a Knowledge domain Cleric, which are actually good spells that unfortunately probably won’t shape up with your middling Wisdom.

LEVEL 9 - CLERIC 4

4th level Clerics get an Ability Score Improvement and seeing as we’re still mostly shooting I’d recommend the Sharpshooter feat for more of a hand shooting past walls. Alternatively if you have a head to shoot at you can take an aim penalty to shoot at the head for massive damage!

You also learn another cantrip like Toll the Dead for some magical offense straight from the pages of a book, and you can prepare another spell like Aid, which might not boost health by much but compared to Cure Wounds will probably be more consistent as far as “healing” goes since it doesn’t rely on your Wisdom.

LEVEL 10 - FIGHTER 6

Fighter is a funny class that gets a lot of Ability Score Improvements, so how about we increase damage output some more with the Piercer feat. Along with a +1 to Dexterity you can reroll the damage die of an attack once as long as it does Piercing damage, and if you crit with Piercing damage you do x3 damage instead of x2! Most ranged weapons deal Piercing damage so this is a good way to get more consistent ranged damage overall.

LEVEL 11 - FIGHTER 7

7th level Fighters have studied enough to study their foes too! Know Your Enemy will let you learn two traits of an enemy as long as you spend a minute studying them. I won’t tell you everything this trait can do (read the ability yourself) but judging Dexterity, Constitution, Armor Class, and current hit points might be useful for the other guy with the gun.

You also get more Maneuvers because Battle Masters are cool like that. Take Maneuvering Attack for covering fire that will let your friends get into cover, and Disarming Attack can be helpful if you think someone’s got something that will force you into the woods.

LEVEL 12 - FIGHTER 8

Hey look at that more Ability Score Improvements: I think it’s about time to cap off your Dexterity modifier with the Skill Expert feat, while also grabbing proficiency with Investigation and Expertise with History, so you can be the group’s well of knowledge when it comes to portals to other worlds.

Skill Expert is more in-flavor than Piercer, but I took both because with Standard Array you’d have an even DEX score (meaning you may as well take two half feats.) If you rolled for stats and have an uneven DEX score take Skill Expert and skip out on Piercer.

(Artwork from the cover of “Annie Knowby Battles the Evil Dead in Beyond Dead by Dawn” Evil Dead comic book, where apparently Annie is way more badass. Yeah I haven’t read the comics.)

LEVEL 13 - FIGHTER 9

9th level Fighters get Indomitable, letting them reroll a saving throw against possession or something similar once per Long Rest. Yeah perhaps not the most impressive ability, but it can be good in a pinch if something is holding you back from saving the Hero from the Sky.

LEVEL 14 - FIGHTER 10

10th level Battle Masters see some Improved Combat Superiority, turning their d8 Superiority die into d10s. This will empower your average damage nicely, as well as your aim if you opt for Precision Attack.

Speaking of which you can also learn more Maneuvers: Evasive Footwork can help you dodge if evil decides to focus on you, as is Parry!

LEVEL 15 - FIGHTER 11

11th level Fighters can fan the hammer with one more Extra Attack. In total you’ll have three attacks, one extra Bonus Action Crossbow Expert attack, and if you Action Surge you can shoot three more times. You can do a lot of damage, especially if you use Sharpshooter and your maneuvers to make it easy to take down whatever may come for you in the woods.

LEVEL 16 - CLERIC 5

You know, Destroy Undead might’ve been a good feature to have while fighting the evil dead. But now it only works on enemies of CR 1/2 or lower which I doubt you’re going to be facing by this point.

But really what we’re here for is 3rd level spells. As a Knowledge domain Cleric you can use Speak with Dead for some family time, and Nondetection... certainly is a spell! And seeing as most spells are written in Ancient Sumerian  Tongues will make translating them easier. But again I do have to remind you that Clerics are prepared casters, and by this point perhaps carrying a quick revive (with Revivify) might be more useful when fighting the Dark Ones.

LEVEL 17 - CLERIC 6

Hey remember how Knowledge Domain is a bad subclass? Well part of the reason I didn’t bother to level it up until now is because Channel Divinity: Read Thoughts is rather underwhelming. You use your Channel Divinity (obviously) to force a Wisdom saving throw as you try to... read the target’s surface thoughts for a minute. You can also end the effect to cast Suggestion, but seeing as your Wisdom is so low you’re likely not going to succeed with this ability very often, and likely aren’t dealing with any humanoids who’d realistically be affected by this.

At least you get two uses of your Channel Divinity now, and can use Harness Divine Power twice per Long Rest. That’s about all you’re going to be getting out of your Channel Divinity really, unless you really need emergency skill checks by this point. At least you can prepare a spell for the more immediate emergency of a Kandarian Dagger-shaped hole in the chest of a local trucker. If you find yourself on the wrong end of a dagger (or I guess the right end?) you can cut yourself with the wrong end to heal your ally with Life Transference. Seeing as you’ll likely be in the backline for most fights sacrificing some of your health to quickly pick up an ally is certainly worth it, but do be careful obviously.

LEVEL 18 - CLERIC 7

7th level Clerics can cast 4th level spells like Arcane Eye to scout out the woods before heading down any trails you may find, and Confusion which is a good debuff when your Wisdom isn’t poop.

Thankfully there’s a lot of good spells at this level which don’t rely as much on your Wisdom: Aura of Life is pretty much made to fight the evil dead, but again maybe you are dealing with less deadites and more skeletons by this point. Well skeletons are still undead but maybe they aren’t doing Necrotic damage is my point. Just read your spell descriptions is all.

LEVEL 19 - CLERIC 8

8th level Clerics get an Ability Score Improvement, for a start. By this point investing in Wisdom might be worth it but... it also might not be? +3 WIS isn’t much better than a +2 so if you think there’s something more practical for you to be spending this last boost on spend your Pink F on that instead. Of course more Wisdom does mean more spells but by this point you honestly have all the spellcasting you could ever need and are more than free to prepare whatever you want. (Although I’d probably opt for the lower level abilities.)

You’d also normally get Potent Spellcasting but seeing as you’re shooting guns mostly Blessed Strikes from Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything will let you augment your gun crossbow instead of your magic with an extra d8 of radiant damage once per turn. And to top it off Destroy Undead affects CR 1 creatures now, which I’m sure will make all the difference.

LEVEL 20 - CLERIC 9

Our final level is the 9th level of Cleric for 5th level spell slots! This means you can finally finish your father’s work and understand all the Legend Lore behind the Necronomicon Ex Mortis, and can also potentially do Scrying so you know what the Hero from the Sky is up to after leaving your cabin.

And of course you can prepare some 5th level spells too: there’s some really good ones (Holy Weapon can give you even more damage along with a burst to defend yourself in a panic) but the obvious choice would be Dispel Evil and Good, to maybe save sweet Henrietta and see if that thing is the basement really was your mother at one point.

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Hollow Points - So it turns out that a Battle Master Crossbow Expert Sharpshooter Fighter is one of the highest DPR Fighter builds out there. You can contribute tons of damage while also hindering foes and aiding allies with your maneuvers as necessary.

Echoes of the Aura - You can also provide plenty of assistance to your team with both your spells and your maneuvers. Having easy access to healing and defense in a pinch can really save you when your party’s back is against the wall.

Master of Influence - It’s not often that players can turn to the Fighter to be a source of knowledge-based skill checks, but with Expertise in most Intelligence-based skills and your Channel Divinity to provide you with proficiency in any skill you may be lacking you actually manage to fill a good skill monkey role without investing in either Bard or Rogue.

CONS

Toil and Trouble - I know I’ve said it at least 4 times in this post, but Knowledge Domain Cleric is bad. Sure the swapping skill proficiencies help earlier on but most parties will have enough characters to fill out any skill checks that might be done, and while your spells as Knowledge Domain are nice your Wisdom really isn’t high enough to make use of them. Not to mention that if you are actually fighting the Evil Dead book smarts won’t help you much outside of one particular book. There’s plenty of Clerics that are less thematically appropriate but have more powerful class abilities and spells.

Vicious Circle - The only stat we’ve invested in is Dexterity, and opting for feats instead of ASIs hurts. Not only is your spellcasting not the greatest, you also lack in mental saves which are often some of the most dangerous. While proficiency will protect your Strength and Constitution you won’t be able to do anything if a parallax camera chases you.

Rock Steady - Trip Attack is your main source of assistance to the party, but it forces a Strength saving throw which your opponents might be resistant to. Additionally firing through tough armor will prove a challenge. Overall you’re really good at handling more basic foes but if any elites or bosses show up you’ll struggle against their might.

But you don’t need to be a hero from the sky to still do good, kid. Give suppressing fire and recite the magic words to make sure you and your friends aren’t dead by dawn. Every good horror movie needs a final girl, even if you’re sharing the spotlight with the world’s grooviest psycho.

[yuki-tsunodas]

The Player's Tribune: I will never forget the tears I shed that day

Article published 25 March 2021, originally written by Yuki Tsunoda in Japanese.

I translated the article with help from Google Translate and Naver Translator + my own interpretations of their rubbish translating, so apologies in advance for any mistakes! Anything I had trouble translating will be bolded with a (?) next to it!!

　I think that was the last time I cried in frustration, in regret.

　Four years ago, I was only 16 years old and was a student at Suzuka Circuit Racing School. It was the final selection to join Honda's Driver Development Program. If I pass, I can run in Japanese F4 the following year, but if I failed...I was thinking of quitting racing at that time.

　Now, I'm standing at the entrance of the stage called F1. Looking back, that was the turning point of my life.

　Of course, I didn't know if I would pass that year's trial because there were not only those who had already run in F4 but also some drivers who had come back from overseas.

　However, I've been racing in karts since I was four years old, and I've been doing well. That year, I was the youngest ever podium finisher in my debut race in the Japanese F4 championship, which allowed me to participate in the spot (?) race, and won the Super FJ Japan's first championship. At the selection test, there were good results until the final round of selection, and I was in a position to compete for first and second place overall. So I thought I could afford to make a big mistake in the final selection, and I was confident that I would still be in the top two in the end.

　I am a strong driver. But if you can't get results here or if you can't fascinate the judges with your running, it's already known (?). So I was prepared to give up my racing career if it didn't work. I think there were many other routes to go, such as running in other training programs or non-formal races, but I don't like it when it's not the direction I want to go. I decided to live a different life rather than to do it half-heartedly.

　However, the worst result awaited. At that time, I was very weak mentally and, of all things, it showed in the final round. Even before the race, I found myself tense and stiff. My fingertips were also stiff. I was not my usual self. I started like that, but suddenly I was flying...I had to drive through the pitlane and then rejoin the course. I felt like I was running alone, far away from the previous group. I felt sorry for myself, and I didn't even feel like running anymore. As a result, the points in that race were almost zero, and Tsunoda lost in the final round.

　I was so frustrated that tears welled up naturally on the train home. It was the first time since I started racing in earnest. I was the youngest among the participants, but I was shocked because I was confident that I wouldn't lose, and I couldn't imagine anything even if I tried to think about the future. I still remember clearly that I was so depressed that I didn't even want to see my parents on my way home from the Shinkansen.

　But there was only one faint hope. That was what the then Honda F4 coach said in an interview after the screening.

　"As a training driver for Honda, you will not be able to participate in the race next year, since the Formula 4 Honda has four cars. Maybe I can put you in one of the remaining two cars running as Suzuka Racing School."

　That was because former Formula One driver Satoru Nakajima recommended me. Mr. Nakajima was the principal of the school at that time, and at the time of the final selection, he was watching us run in the final chicane.

　I was given a penalty at the start, and I was racing without emotion, but I was running hard so that I wouldn't regret it. Through the visor, I saw Satoshi Nakajima standing in the final corner. I didn't want to show Mr. Nakajima a careless run. It was a hopeless ranking, but I thought I should not give up until the end and keep running toward the group in front of me. Then the road opened.

　In 2017, Suzuka Racing decided to enter me into F4 instead of making me a training driver. Then, I suddenly ranked 3rd overall in the annual overall ranking, and the following year in 2018, I was selected as a Honda Formula Dream Project driver, and was able to become the champion.

　It's all because I was frustrated at that final selection.

　The most unusual thing is that I think it's mental. Until I had a setback, I had a feeling that I would do well until the end without doing anything. I knew I wasn't good at starting even though I failed in the previous round, and I had time to practice before that, but I didn't. There was something sweet about overconfidence. And at that time, I was afraid of making mistakes, so I didn't know how to grow up.

　After failing the selection, I realized that I was still not perfect and that I had to be faster. I realized that it is important to make a lot of mistakes without fear of making mistakes, and to make new discoveries and grow from there. Therefore, I didn't feel impatient when I didn't get points as I wanted in the early part of the F3 and F2 seasons last year after I went abroad. Rather, there was no hesitation in the process of making a lot of mistakes first and learning a lot from them.

　Takuma Sato, a former Formula One driver, now driving in Indycar, is famous for saying, "No attack, no chance," but I think that's exactly right. If you don't try beyond the limits of any sport, you won't find the future, and if you don't try, you'll stop there. Therefore, even if there are times when I make mistakes or get no results, I don't feel strangely distressed. Even if you make a mistake, it's up to you to take it. Mistakes make me want to investigate the cause. If you think that you can overcome it, you can be faster than if you regret the mistake, and you can always face it positively.

　Now that I can race in F1, I feel grateful to my parents. I've liked to move since I was a child, and I played swimming, soccer, mountain biking, and also, not sports, but piano. Now that I think about it, I feel that my father and mother were letting me do what I was interested in. And the reason why I started driving karts was also influenced by my father. My father liked motorsports and played gym carna himself. One day, at the circuit venue I was taken to, I was allowed to drive a real cart. That was the first time. Actually, I also experienced a pocket bike at that time, but after trying two, I said, "The kart is more fun." I don't really remember at all (lol).

　But there were times I got sick of karts...

　For example, when I was about seven years old. When I was playing a game while waiting at the track, my father told me to "focus more on the race," and my game was taken away, and I felt like, "I don't like it anymore." Then my father became getting tougher and tougher on me to improve me, and he scolded me for many things. To be honest, I didn't really appreciate my father until I was 15, and there was a time when I hated him. 'This is "The Rebellion Period".' I think I was in the middle of it.

　Not only my father but also my mother was strict in terms of academic matters. I was always told to study in case I didn't succeed in motorsports. My junior high school was not a public school (?), so after the race, I would go home on the day, get ready for school, go to school, study, and take the test. To be honest, it was hard and I never liked it, but I continued to study anyway.

　At that time, I couldn't thank my parents, but now I have the opposite feelings. I think I am what I am now thanks to their harshness, scolding, and teaching me a lot of things back then. Thank you so much.

　I didn't expect to be able to get to F1 this quickly. Not only are there few Japanese drivers, but they are also those taking the shorter route compared to foreign drivers.

　When I first went to see F1 at Fuji Speedway at the age of seven, Lewis Hamilton and Fernando Alonso were running. At that time, I wasn't longing for it, but I thought "I wanted to race with drivers like this someday", and those feelings are still the same. Hamilton is already a legend, and it's an honor to run with him, but when I get on the circuit, both Hamilton and Alonso are just drivers. Think of them as enemies.

　It's the same for Max Verstappen, who I think is the fastest and strongest opponent in Formula One, and Pierre Gasly, who's my teammate in Alpha Tauri. I want to know as soon as possible how well I can handle Verstappen and how well I can compete. Gasly was active in Japan's top-category, Super Formula, when I was running in Japanese F4, and I hope I can learn a lot of things from him, but I think he's also my biggest rival that I have to beat someday because we're in the same machine.

　'In the world of F1, "speed" is ultimately required.' No matter how fast you say you are, if you show off your speed, you can make an impact, and if you have speed, you can get back in front in the second half even if you were overtaken or separated from the pack in the beginning of the race. However, it is actually the most difficult to show "speed" in a situation like this. My biggest strength is speed, so in addition to that, I want to learn more of what I lack.

　Come to think of it, at an online conference held this off-season, my goal came out big like, "I'll be a Formula One champion more than seven times, the most ever tied," but that's not what I meant.

　I haven't done a single race in Formula One yet, so I can't say that (bitter smile).

　What I'm thinking about right now is to give the best performance I have in the first race, and to get as many points as possible throughout the season. Just like F2, even if you go up to F1, you will make a lot of mistakes from the beginning to the middle of the season, but I want to learn a lot by making new discoveries there. After saying such a thing at the press conference, there was a question like, "What is Tsunoda's ambition?" So I replied, "Maybe I'll win the championship seven times like Lewis Hamilton?" which became a big headline.To be exact, I really want to concentrate on everything in front of me now, and I hope that my ambition will come true as a result of that accumulated effort.

　What kind of scene will I see in the future? I want to improve my ability and become a race driver representing the F1 world, and I think it will be a different pressure and motivation, so the expectations of the fans may be even higher.

　That's why I want to never forget how I felt when I drove in Formula One for the first time in 2021. I want to cherish the current feelings of a rookie and continue to make mistakes to my heart's content, learn a lot from them, and enjoy them.

　I don't think I'll shed tears like I did four years ago in the final selection. I will never forget the tears I shed that day. But if I were to cry from now on, what kind of tears would I have...?

　I think it's realistic to say when I first win the championship. It's very difficult to get to Formula One, but it's going to be a tough road ahead. It's really hard to win, so if I'm going to shed tears, it's probably not "regretful tears" but "happy tears".

[shadowdianne]

Fic writer review [Or a fic writer tag game if you prefer]

I was tagged by @naralanis and I can already see her grin all the way from where I am xd Thank you, dear, for the tag, let’s see what are my answers, shall we.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

*bursts out laughing* Adding both pseuds I have… 535 according to the account info but by counting them all I’m reaching 541 so I’m guessing it’s counting some drafts I need to re-find.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

I seriously hated you for this one xd I was going to do it by hand by I decided one-third there that I value my mental stability a little bit more xd according to the stats page back at a03 that number would be 1257884. It may be wrong. I think there should be a few more numbers up there but the majority of my works are one-shots so *shrugs* There’s also the fact that counting my ao3 things only is shaving off like half of it Xd Anyway, can we laugh at the fact that I’m a pain in the ass and that I’ve written a lot? More than I should have, that’s for sure

3. How many fandoms have you written for?

Trick question because I haven’t crossposted everything I wrote back in ffnet and I actually erased some fics from my account back there so the numbers are a little blurry there.

When I had the entirety of my work posted both in ffnet and a03 I had written for: Twilight (Bella/Alice) Glee (Faberry and there were a couple Pezberry and I don’t fucking remember the pairing name for Santana and Quinn), Harry Potter (Hermione/Ginny, Hermione/Narcissa, Hermione/Bellatrix) OUAT (SwanQueen and several oneshots focusing on the mad hatter and the blue fairy solely back at ffnet that were written in Spanish and never translated), I actually had a veeeery old au prompt of Frozen (Elsanna in where I wrote them as non sibilings), Rizzoli and Isles (Rizzles), Dishonored 2 (Emily Kaldwin/Alexi Mayhew), Lara Croft and Wonder Woman, Supergirl (SuperCorp/Supercat) I had a 100 one -or maybe two??- (Clexa), The Shannara Chronicles (Amberle/Eretreia [Or Princess Rover], Rwby [Blake Belladona/Yang], The Worst Witch (Hecate Hardbroom and Pippa Pentangle), The Half of it, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (Madam Satan/Zelda Spellman) and… I think that’s it(?) I may be forgetting some but probably nothing important if I’m not remembering it lol.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

Ah, we are going to go there, uh? Xd My works are not the kudos and comment getting type Xd So I was quite surprised when I went to check this.

1: Cracked it I wrote this one back in 2017, it was a prompt done by an anon: Lena is nerding with one of her projects at home, mumbling mostly to herself because she’s stuck and Kara casually mentions how to solve the problem like it’s nothing. I really had some fun with this. It was back when some us, SQeeners were fully doing the jump between OUAT and SuperGirl (I mean, there had already been some crossover as for fandom is related but this when the girls were actually getting their conjoined voice within the fandom)

2: Dateless I honestly needed to check what this one was about but I think I can see why this one shot has the amount of kudos it has. It’s a short and sweet idea and responds to the Teachers Au that went SO well with SQ. Everyone thinks they hate each other and try to set them up with other people whilst they, in truth, are dating. I don’t remember if I wrote them as married rather than dating but despite being from 2017 as well is one cheeky enough to be cool Xd I probably would edit some lines now *shudders*

3: After you I truly didn’t expect this one to be top 3. Makes me think of a lot of things, if I’m being honest Xd. After you was a one shot written almost feverishly as an answer to the fabulous drawings that Sejic did of both Lara Croft and Wonder Woman back at 2018 or something. It’s just Lara and Diana being himbos but not at all with each other.

4: How about… How about is one I remember perfectly, it was my answer to the ending of the Half of it film. I had SOME thoughts about it, let’s just stop there Xd I really liked the film itself but I think and I thought at the time that my response to wishing for a final scene at the very end of the credits responds to me being in a different personal moment than the characters. I really wanted to explore my feelings about it and so I wrote about them finding each other again after some time passes. It was also something I wrote after quite the hiatus so I took it as something I could write about without focusing too much on the why.

5: Come to me

Ahh, SuperCorp Xd I remember this one actually. A friend of mine and I were talking about descriptions, and she mentioned quite off-handedly how she wanted a fic in where Kara’s back was described. I complied… more or less.

Fun tidbit, despite the big volume of my work is obviously set in ouat there’s only 1 SQ fic there as you can see, the others are either SuperCorp or the random one shots I created for Wonderwoman/Lara Croft and The half of it. *sighs in deep thought* I’m also not going to look too much into how almost all of the fics were posted and written back in 2017. Nope, not at all.

*Small voice screaming you peaked in 2017 and everything else is garbage jumps back and forth*

5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

I tend to always respond, yup. I truly value comments. I might have gone for spells of time in where I didn’t have the mental capacity to check in old fics because I truly didn’t know what to answer but I treasure every single comment and you all who comment know that I can start to ramble in the answers xd -sorry about that- I really really REALLY love interaction.

6. A fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending:

Ok, Nara, come on, this one is a catch for me. I’ve written angst in far too many fics to remember the angstiest one :P I have the most recent one, though, that is the easy one to think about: Goodbye.Written for @delirious-comfort. I’m just going to say “Kisses with their last dying breath” as an idea of what awaits inside but I’ve written about death and loss and angst quite a lot. There were some I wrote back to SQ with Regina needing to kill Emma during the Dark Swan arc that, to this day, I still love and some others in where Regina is the one that dies, again and again, trapped by magic while Emma watches. I have the loss in mental destruction form and… I REALLY like my angst y’know xd

7. Do you write crossovers?

Not counting Lara and Wonder Woman not really! I think it comes from the fact that I loooove worldbuilding as a whole and some pairings would require all my focus into making the world perfect which in turn would make me self conscious on the OOCness of it all.

8. Ever received hate on a fic?

*snorts* I’ve received hate due to the pairing I’ve written about, how I’ve written about it, the amount I’ve written, how slow or quick I can be, the usage of some tropes, the lack of usage of those same tropes… Let’s just go with: yuuuup.

9. Do you write smut?

I’ve written smut, yeah! But I can already see the pointed looks of some so let’s elaborate Xd I write smut when asked and sometimes when not asked but there’s a part of me I like to call a terrible tease that prefers writing the beginning of a scene, taunt it, focus on what happens before the sex scene per se as I find it more enjoyable to write. The process of escalation is always the best for me to see what can I do it by using both dialogue and descriptors tbh, so I tend to tease more than show.

9. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

A few weeks ago I’d have said: Maybe(?) But trying to follow the trail of some other fics that had been stolen from some friends -I think it was me trying to find more about the page that stole something from your Nara!- I found some pages in where my fics had been reposted. In some it was stated that the person posting the fic wasn’t the author but I had never been contacted in order to see if I’d say yes to such a thing and in some others the page was locked up but I could still see someone was pretending to be the author. I did the thing and got some of those down.

Pointed note: Ask me if you want to post or translate or anything. I will look into you and answer you if you seem honest about the thing. But despite every joke and self-deprecating comment those 500 and then some fics represent MY time so very kindly I say fuck off to those who wish to steal from me and if I catch you… you don’t really want to see me angry, trust me.

10. Ever had a fic translated?

I’ve given permission to some, yeah, but never heard it back from them so I’m guessing it didn’t stick.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic?

I’ve written series alongside other authors as @stregaomega for example. And some others that are unpublished -looking at you @carsonnieve - I’ve also done collabs… but fics co-written in the sense of two authors same chapters I don’t have anything posted I’m afraid :P

13. All-time favourite ship?

*snorts*, I guess the obvious answer is SQ uh? And I do think they were the ones that allowed me to read and write SO much. The one I feel more strongly about, however, is Bering and Wells from Warehouse 13.

14. WIP you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

All of them counts as a valid answer? But if I only could finish one that would be Arcadia. With A forgotten Promise second and the one I did as an Assassins Creed AU third. (I don’t remember the name so there’s no link, sorry xd)

15. Writing strengths?

Uhhhh, you REALLY want me to say that? I don’t fucking know!! To me everything I write is garbage. I always try to go for the feelings so I guess. Dunno xd I’ve been told I’m good at worldbuilding and to be honest is what I enjoy the most.

16. Writing weaknesses?

Everything Xd Pacing? What I hate the most sometimes is dialogue, I would count it as a weakness but I’m always far too focused on description rather than dialogue. I don’t think it’s a bad thing per se but it’s something that I don’t do as much.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I’m conflicted. Always. Majorly because I think that having bilingual characters in fanfiction is portrayed and expected in a way that I don’t feel it’s honest with how bilingual people -us- talk. So if I go by what I know I do I think it’s not what readers hope to see when it comes to that and if I go for how canonically is hoped to be found I don’t think it’s logical. But that’s me and my overthinking Xd If I have the option I like to do it.

18. First fandom you ever wrote for?

Belice! Or Bella/Alice. Worst first fic ever but oh, well, I’m always saying that :P

19. What’s your fav fic you’ve written so far?

Uhh… Don’t make me do this XD Agh, I don’t know. I’ve always been very vocal about Metallic Ink because I let myself enjoy the process of creating a magic system almost out of zero and that was fun. Despite hating some of the writing process and that I’d do it differently now I think I’m going to stick with that answer. Or anything that had any steampunk-based undertone. To be honest I like more thinking of concepts, I had one in where Emma was a thief and it involved the robbery of a ring that was Regina’s one way ticket to freedom I then later repurposed that I adored thinking about so let’s go with…. Yeah, I love having the option of changing things up a little and focus on how characters would fit in different aesthetics for this one Xd

Annnd… these are four pages, gods. I’m just going to tag @waknatious @carsonnieve @stregaomega here and see what they do- Enjoy the questionnaire ladies :P

[soundsof71]

FIVE ALBUMS YOU NEED IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW!!!

aka, My Top 5 of 2020, but I didn’t want to seem too retro!

Yep, I have a classic rock blog. Yep, I think that the best rock and roll in history is being made RIGHT NOW. And yep, ALL of it is being made by women. 

(Shown at top, Nova Twins by Ant Adams [x] and The Tissues by Michael Espleta [x]. I was planning to make a collage of all my faves in concert, but  not all of them were able to play in 2020. Both of these photos are pre-pandemic.)

There’s been quite a bit of movement on this list, and all five of these have spent some time at Number 1 as the year has done (gestures broadly) All This™. Anyone looking for rock and roll is going to dig any of these. 

Rocking out is just the start of it, though. Wrestling with my bipolarity and schizophrenia is tough on a good day, and there haven’t been too many of those lately. The plague has also taken its toll around me, with two family members dead and a third who’s doing better, but will likely never be all the way back. (Mask up, kids!)

I’ve written plenty about how deeply Taylor Swift and Phoebe Bridgers have moved me this year (and will do so again), but in those rare stretches where I’ve had enough spare energy to listen to music at all these days, I’ve mostly been looking for more than beautiful music. Heavy times need heavy lifting, and I find that in heavy music. 

The five albums here have all helped carry me, pointing the way toward light.

1) BULLY, SUGAREGG

Alicia Bognanno is a force of nature as a guitarist, vocalist, composer, and producer/engineer. (While working on her degree in audio engineering at MTSU, she interned with Steve Albini, who remains both a fan and an admirer). A Nashville transplant from Minnesota, she’s still a natural fit in her home on Sub Pop: as heavy as Soundgarden, as hooky as Sleater-Kinney. 

I was blown away hearing her searing honesty while working through her discoveries of her bisexuality and bipolarity (double bi!), and her triumphant roar lifts me out of my seat every time I listen.

“She sings the hell out of [these songs], her voice fraying to the point of combustion every time she launches to the top of her range. This is phenomenal music for converting anger and anxiety into unbound joy.” ~Stereogum, Album of the Week

Also, check this fantastic interview with Alicia in the New York Times talking about what she’s gone through to get here. 

TURN IT UP!

2) GANSER, LOOK AT THAT SKY

Ganser syndrome is a rare dissociative disorder characterized by nonsensical or wrong answers to questions and other dissociative symptoms such as fugue, amnesia or conversion disorder, often with visual pseudohallucinations and a decreased state of consciousness. ~Wikipedia #it me

‘Just Look At That Sky’ doesn’t presume to offer solutions; it’s an honest document of what it feels like to wade through anxiety, day by day, not a survival guide or handbook of answers none of us actually have. Whether or not you pay attention to this, Ganser are simply one of the most invigorating, exciting new bands. ~Clashmusic

I saw one very positive review compare Ganser to a cross between Fugazi and Sonic Youth, but I think they hit much, much harder than either of those. And as you can surely guess, I also deeply relate to their themes of mental illness and dissociation while trying to make it through All This™. But my god, are they TIGHT. This is a BAND.

Ganser has two fantastic lead vocalists, and on “Bad Form”, bassist/vocalist Alicia Gaines wrote the song for the voice of keyboardist/vocalist Nadia Garofolo. Alicia also wrote a FANTASTIC essay on the strains that making an album during a pandemic puts on the mental health of the entire band at talkhouse: “Writing, recording, reaching out, balancing relationships outside and within the band, I found (and still find) myself under-rested and agitated to no particular end. More than not doing enough, I was not enough.” 

(If you can’t relate to that, I can’t relate to you, tbh.)

This video also does a fantastic job of showing dissociation. TURN IT UP!

3) THE TISSUES, BLUE FILM

“Blue Film” is a ten-song shot of dagger-twisting electro-(s)punk. It’s completely addictive from the very first listen. The tour de force is “Rear Window”, an art-punk masterpiece of slashing guitars and mad caterwauling. Copious doses of jaunty poetics and social commentary reward the earlooker patient enough to untangle Kristine Nevrose’s hysterical meowing about intergalactic salt shakers and hysterectomies, but I’m too emotionally invested to look under the hood.” ~ Sputnik Music

“Rear Window” is in fact my most-played 2020 track. TURN IT UP!

4) GUM COUNTRY, SOMEWHERE

It’s not all heavy! But even when I’m looking for something light and hooky, I need a bite, and Gum Country has done it with the kind of swirly, feeedback-laden wall of sound that Lush or Yo La Tengo would make if they lived in LA. (Recent transplants to SoCal from Vancouver, I do think that the sunshine has gone straight to their heads, in the very best way.)

Indie music nerds will know guitarist/composer/singer/front woman Courtney Garvin from The Courtneys, and she really does throw up a glorious wall of sound. I adore this video too! Sweet, swinging, fun -- and yes, the drummer is playing keyboard with one hand while slapping the skins with the other! 

I mentioned earlier that all five of these albums have spent part of the year at #1 on my list -- I think that this one might have spent the longest stretch there. Like all shoegaze, even as hooky as this, the truth of these songs is revealed in VOLUME. TURN IT UP!

5) NOVA TWINS, WHO ARE THE GIRLS?

Now, THIS is heavy! Amy Lee (vocals, guitar) and Georgia South (bass) are fucking LOUD, and insanely intense. A mix of grime, hip-hop, metal, punk, and good old rock and roll, they’re a harder-hitting, more theatrical Prodigy, with a pyre of intensity that recalls the heaviest howls of Rage Against The Machine. Indeed, Nova Twins spent a good bit of 2019 playing heavy metal festivals and toured as openers for Prophets of Rage. (Tom Morello has been a fan and supporter from the beginning.)

As you may have noted in the photo at the top of this post, their musical audacity extends to visuals too: they design their own clothes, hair, and makeup, they art direct their own videos, and more. They impress the hell out of me, and I’ve been a huge fan since hearing their first singles in 2018. I’ll plant a flag and say that Georgia South in particular is the most innovative musician on any instrument in any genre right now, but they’re both absolutely monsters. 

I’m honestly not at all sure that #5 is high enough for this, but I’m absolutely certain that after this video, you’re gonna need to rest for a little. LOL

“Taxi” is the story of two gleefully and creatively violent women shaking up the local crime syndicate as they use a vintage cab for their moving murder scene. This is the movie that Robert Rodriguez wishes he was making with Sin City, if it were combined with Blade Runner and The Matrix. And gangsters. And a snake.

I’m gonna take your crown I’m gonna, I’m gonna bleed you out We demand it by the hour We devour, control, power

I’m gonna burn it down Even the, even the royals bow

So not the same kind of therapeutic work being explored on this rekkid, but you know what? Fucking shit up is therapeutic too! 

Definitely take this full screen, and for the love of fuck, TURN IT UP!

SO. Not done with the best of 2020 yet? I’m sure not! A lot of my favorite songs aren’t on albums (at least not yet), so for an unedited list of everything I’m finding, check out my Spotify list, 2020: Shuffle This List! 268 songs and counting, over 15 hours, and not finished yet. I’m still checking out everyone else’s Best of lists (including yours! Message me links to yours!!!), so will probably be adding to this for most of 2021, too. 

And for more banging tracks by women from 2020, plus a few 2019 gems that I’m still grooving to, check out my more thoroughly curated Spotify playlist Women Bangers: A Tumblr New Classics Jam. (You’ll see a couple of these tracks there!) I’m working on a YouTube playlist and an essay to properly roll that one out. I’m also still tweaking the ending, but the three dozen or so tunes there are definitely bangin’.

Tell me if you hear anything you dig here, and tell me what YOU’VE found! We’re gonna get through this together.

Yr pal, Timmy