#old englisc paganism

[fallen-pines]

Searching for a Feeling

Despite knowing that aiming for a consistent experience with the gods over periods of time is kind of... antithetical to belief and probably not good for a spiritual practice overall, I can't help but think back to the point where it hit me that I really want to build relationship with the gods.

I was driving to work, literally had just started going down my own street, when I realized that the morning light was beautiful and perfect and I wished I didn't have to go to work so that I could sit outside and see it more properly. Since I couldn't, I decided to say a quick thanks instead. I had already switched my focus to Apollon at that point so I was going to just dedicate it to him, but when I started giving the thanks I felt compelled to switch it. I still thanked Apollon for allowing the light to reach me and shine so brightly but I primarily thanked Helios for guiding it for us each day. Before I could finish the sentence, I could feel tears pricking at the back of my eyes and I quickly (safely) pulled over for a minute to get it under control.

I am not a crier. Like, to the point that I have to sit down occasionally and intentionally try to make myself cry cause I know it's good for you to let stuff out but it just doesn't happen for me a lot. But it had happened so quickly I didn't really know what to do. What I did know was that it was a good cry, I was just so happy and grateful. I couldn't pinpoint what had actually made me start to cry, I'm still not entirely sure.

If I look solely at myself, maybe it was some cosmic feeling of me being able to thank someone else for being there, that I wasn't alone in the cosmos as I sometimes fear. Derealization has been an issue in my life and occasionally it psyches me out to think I might be in some vivid hallucination or simulation or coma and none of what I know is really there. If I look outward, I almost got the feeling that someone else was crying too and giving me a pat on the back or a quick hug. When I think about it, Helios today is a relatively forgotten deity, though I mean it in the kindest sense. In history, Helios was the one believed to draw the Sun with his chariot and was given worship for many centuries due to being so important to agriculture and various aspects of life. But over time, focus shifted and he was worshiped less intensely, then by less people, then was potentially replaced in certain societies by other figures related to light, such as people who do worship Apollon and attribute the sun to him. And today, though I've seen him mentioned by hellenic and roman practitioners alike, the number of people who dedicate worship to him regularly instead of for ceremony or holiday is extremely slim. At least that's what I've seen online, there could be a huge difference to what's practiced in closed quarters. If I could sense that someone who barely knew me, or maybe knew me a long time ago and hadn't spoken recently, had seen something beautiful and loved it enough to suddenly reach out and tell me about it? Yeah, I'd probably cry.

I don't know which of the two is true. It might be that both are true. It might be that I'm projecting onto an entity that was pleasantly surprised and I was just stunned to pick up on any energy at all.

I might never know, but I do know that that feeling has stuck with me ever since. I can't lie and say that I don't want to capture that same feeling again, or that when I meditate or try to hold ritual that that's not exactly what I'm hoping will happen. It can't be healthy or sustainable to have a specific goal in mind when trying to build an authentic relationship, gods or not. I know I need to push that aside and just do things as if that experience was a one-off thing that I was lucky to experience, not something to rely on. But it's difficult. I was not raised in faith, I am not accustomed to believing things without evidence and repeatable results... but that's what faith is. If I'm going to build a practice, I have to really figure out what will stick for me and feel "worth it" and meaningful even on the days where I get that feeling again that I'm alone and my mind and body are fake, that I might be praying to 1s and 0s in a computer program...

I need to build a practice where it's okay for me to do it even if that was ever true, because it's for me, it's what I want. I want to reach out and give thanks to the beings who help shape our world, or influence it, or merely interact with it in a way we aren't capable. I want to feel like they'd enjoy my presence if an afterlife is real, devout worshiper or not. I want to feel like I'm doing what's best for me, and to me I think that's finding some sort of structure in my life that goes beyond bodily needs and societal pressures.

I mainly wrote this just to get my thoughts about that one experience out of my head. I'd love to hear if anyone else has had an experience like it; I'd love even more if there were other folks who've had similar difficulties starting a practice or maintaining a faith, any faith really. Hearing how you've worked through it or continue to make efforts towards faith despite barriers would be great.

[ I'm tagging only the non-hellenic paths that I personally follow in case others have had a similar experience, apologies for crossposting. ]

[satanicallypanicky]

intro post, like if read

The Basics:

this is a side blog of @theonewhocounts

I'm 33 years old, white, transmasc genderqueer (they/he pronouns), and autistic.

this blog is for my spirituality. theistic Satanism, Anglo-Saxon heathenry, and eclectic paganism mostly, but I'm going to reblog all sorts of religious stuff that strikes my fancy or educates me about other faiths.

I am an anarcho-syndicalist and hold no frith with fascists. Radical inclusion or bust.

I do divination with tarot and oracle cards, dice, runes, and obsidian mirrors. Open for requests.

if you're interested in joining a small diverse discord server for theistic satanists of all sorts, hit me up for the invite link.

i tag answered asks with #ask

DNI, I guess?

Nazis, TERFs, antisemites, folkists, and any other such motherfuckers can fuck directly off into the sun.

Proselytizers of any stripe, including Christians who would like to convince me to "return to the Lord" or whathaveyou. No thanks.

I block porn blogs and fetish Satanists. Not because I don't like porn (I assure you, that's not the case) but because I don't want my devil-worshipping to be sexualized. Follow me from your non-porn accounts or don't follow me.

I block Lilith worshippers. I respect Judaism and Jewish culture as closed. Lilith is Not For Us. For full reasoning, see this ask.

The Somewhat Less Basics:

I'm white. My ancestry is predominately from Germanic and "British Isles", but I was raised entirely "privileged American WASP". Despite being exiled from that family and experiencing poverty and homeless as a teen and adult, my background shapes my worldview.

Given my settler-colonialist heritage, I make a conscious attempt to stay out of closed practices and appropriately honor the land upon which I live.

I was raised Anglican/Episcopalian, Lutheran, and Catholic (it's complicated).

I am an eclectic pagan and polytheist. I got started in paganism through genealogical research and an ancestral connection to Englisc/Anglo-Saxon heathenry (folkists GTFO) so most of my worship is conducted through that framework of practice.

I think most/all gods are real and powerful, but I am somewhat choosy about the ones I choose to honor and worship for myself. I suppose that makes me henotheist.

I am a theistic Satanist- I worship Satan as a god of rebellion and opposition, rejection of authoritarianism, justice, and forbidden knowledge (amongst other things). I worship several other gods and/or demons as aspects or very close counterparts of Satan. Further information can be found in this ask.

I venerate my ancestors and honor the spirits and wights of the land and the home.

I have no ill will towards Christians as individuals. Satan is the Adversary of the Christian god, however, and so there are things upon which Christians and myself will fundamentally disagree. And that's okay.

I hold some Buddhist practices & philosophy very close to my heart.

The Gods I Honor

Satanic “Pantheon”

Satan

Asmodeus

Azazel

Belial

Leviathan

Lucifer

Fyrnsidu (Englisc/Anglo-Saxon Heathen) Pantheon

Wōden

Frīg/Fréo

Ing

Thunor

Tīw

Sunne

Mōna

Herthe

Wada

Wuldor

Sceadu

I am more than happy to answer questions about my spirituality and what sorts of weird religious shit I get up to. Hit me up.

“Around us, life bursts with miracles--a glass of water, a ray of sunshine, a leaf, a caterpillar, a flower, laughter, raindrops. If you live in awareness, it is easy to see miracles everywhere. Each human being is a multiplicity of miracles. Eyes that see thousands of colors, shapes, and forms; ears that hear a bee flying or a thunderclap; a brain that ponders a speck of dust as easily as the entire cosmos; a heart that beats in rhythm with the heartbeat of all beings. When we are tired and feel discouraged by life's daily struggles, we may not notice these miracles, but they are always there.” -Thích Nhất Hạnh

[baeddel]

please translate ‘patrick baeddman’ into oe for me. i imagine theres an equivalent of the name ‘patrick’ and then like, baeddel as it applies to a man, a baeddel man. please. i need this

someday ill start charging for these!

your name is more or less already in Old English. -man indicates an Anglo-Saxon name; man (mann was more common) just means 'person' and as a suffix it tended to indicate someone's profession, eg. a līðmann was a sailor. a bædmann would be a professional badling, or a professional defiler. it would also be precisely the word 'badman'

there doesn't seem to be an Old English equivalent of Patrick. the Secgan, an Old English list of resting places of Saints, uses Patrick's indigenous name, Patricius. Patrick was a 5th century Briton who likely experienced Roman reign in England, and most Romano-Britons of note seem to have had Latinate names. Patrick wrote in Latin and his writing survives. when the Saxons invaded they slaughtered and enslaved the Britons; intermarriage between the Englisc and 'Welsh' (as they called them) was forbidden. but the ruling class would soon convert to the Romano-Briton religion, the literati would learn their script, and so on, while for some centuries the common people remained pagan and spoke OE. in many respects the slaves had more in common with the aristocracy than they did churls. Englisc Christians venerated Briton saints and read their writing; Gildas was especially influential. Balthild of Chelles, an Anglo-Saxon Christian sold into slavery in the 7th century who became a Merovingian Queen (and was not even the first Merovingian slave queen) made the enslavement of Christians unlawful, but it would continue in England until the Norman Conquest.

anyway, your Angelcynning name is Patricius Bædmann.

[leornendeealdenglisc-blog]

Anglo-Saxon Gods Part 1 This is great for learning pronunciation

[fallen-pines]

🕯️Hail the Black Flame and the Healing Light🕯️

Call me Rhys. I'm transmale, axandrox, autistic, alterthing and in my mid 20s. My pronouns are he/hir/his/hirself (hir pronounced like "here"). Aries ☀️ ~ Virgo 🌕 ~ Taurus⬆️

I'm an agnostic polytheist who's been studying different paths on and off for a few years now, trying to figure out my beliefs. To me, though there's no way to prove the existence of the gods, if they do exist I think they deserve honor and recognition for their presence in our lives. I was raised in a non-religious household so worship doesn't come naturally to me; unfortunately, I've done a lot more studying than practicing due to this, for fear of doing something "wrong" or half-assed. So despite my previous research, I consider myself a beginner.

I'm devoted to Lucifer and Apollon but wish to honor others in the Hellenic, Old Englisc (Anglo-Saxon) and Norse Heathen pantheons as well, so my posts will be varied. Overall my approach to worship will be more syncretic than eclectic once I get a feel for different ritual styles between practices, but until I'm more experienced things might be a little all over the place.

Wish me luck!

[leornendeealdenglisc-blog]

Anglo-Saxon Goddess Frīġ

It has come to my attention that many people mistake the genitive (possessive) form of Frīġ as the name of the goddess. This is incorrect because the entry from the Bosworth and Toller Anglo-Saxon Dictionary has it as Frīġ as the nominative (Subject). http://www.bosworthtoller.com/046458

[leornendeealdenglisc-blog]

Old English/Anglo-Saxon sung in a Pagan lullaby about Þunor fighting ice-giants.

[leornendeealdenglisc-blog]

Offering Spell for Wōden/Ƿōden