#okay…bye bye…I’m returning to the void!

[slightly-warmer-hibiscus-tea]

OH MY GOD I CAN FINALY POST UNAMUSED LEANDER!!!

[lovieku]

GOOD LUCK, BABE! #4 ⋆ 정국

what happens when you leave everything behind, only to be faced with it again years later? eunbi is convinced she was given another shot at keeping all she ever wanted, but it’s difficult when that all is her childhood best friend who doesn’t want to do anything with her anymore. how to earn his trust back?

☾ pairing: non idol!jk x fem!oc

☾ genre: childhood friends to strangers, friends to lovers, angst, fluff, smut

☾ word count: 21.8k

☾ warnings: huhhhh. Angst! jeongguk being a pain in the ass for no reason. well sorta kinda! lots of cute fun moments with the group. until jeongguk comes and ruins it all. (no but i love him). unserious banter until it gets serious, again. pov switch! angst angst angst. mentions of blood!!! fluff if you squint. jealousy if you squint, like, really hard.

☾ author’s note: HELLOOOO first of all happy (late) birthday namjoonie <3 second of all IM FINALLY HERE!!! and this chapter is so long omfg. i got carried away and realised way too late. was too deep in! hope you can enjoy, i love love them sm, its worth getting to the end!

ps: if you read this, lmk what u enjoy more between eunbi’s pov and jk’s pov. it wont change the way i write the story, im just curious!! okay bye <3

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four ⋆ good 4 u

Sleep doesn’t find Eunbi that night. Her mind runs from it, busy searching for something else, grasping for answers to questions that don’t have one. And if they do exist, they get lost in a haze of sadness. Anger. Helplessness. Sadness again.

When Dahye joins her in their shared tent, Eunbi’s eyes are hollow, devoid of any emotion. Her ears still ring with a distant noise, struggling to pick up her friend’s passionate reassurances. Still, she lets herself be held, and comforted by words her brain can’t quite grasp, head resting on Dahye’s chest, a gentle hand running through her hair. For a moment, feeling the soft rhythm of her friend’s breath, she clings to the comfort of her presence, hoping it might anchor her in some way, keep her from completely drifting away.

But everything she has been trying to shut out comes crashing down on her fragile figure the moment she feels Dahye’s arms grow weaker around her, and her breaths getting heavier as sleep takes her. Silent tears trace a path down her cheeks, while loud, screaming thoughts make her head throb and keep her awake all night. She regrets being here; regrets naively hoping things could be mended so easily; regrets the way she stayed quiet the first moment she laid eyes on Jeongguk after all those years; knows it’s her fault.

By morning, the sun having climbed its way in the sky for a couple hours already and its rays forcing themselves in their shelter with unwanted light, she can sense Dahye subtly stir under her. Immediately, Eunbi shuts her eyes closed, feigning deep slumber. Instead, her very awake ears perk when she can feel fussing, Dahye sitting up and ultimately shaking the seemingly unconscious girl’s shoulder, “Bibi?”

If all goes wrong, at least Eunbi could win an Oscar for her performance, the way her eyelids flutter open, slow and heavy, only after rubbing them, and a big yawn escapes her mouth. That wasn’t too fake after all, her body weary with the all-nighter. Dahye doesn’t notice, her smile soft, “Did you sleep well? Are you feeling a bit better?”

Eunbi simply nods, her expression void. She barely registers the other girl mentioning something about washing up, and breakfast, “I’ll leave you some time. But if you’re not out by the time I’m done in the bathroom, I’m dragging your ass out.” Just like that, she slips out of the tent.

Left alone once again with silence, Eunbi listens to the faint noises outside— the muffled voices of her roommate greeting Hoseok and Yoongi. At that, the urge to cry returns, and she feels tears sting at her bottom lashes, threatening to spill. But this time, she holds them back. She knows she can’t let herself break down, not now. Not with everyone outside, and especially not with Jeongguk. Still, she doesn’t think the sorrow written all over her features will go unnoticed.

She feels like an outsider, an intruder trespassing on sacred ground. As if the moment she steps out, all eyes will be on her miserable figure, stripping her bare, judging her poor choices, the ones that lead Jeongguk to spit venom in her face hours ago. Making it clear that she doesn't belong there, that she will never be part of what they already have. Of what Jeongguk has built after her.

Last night, she tried to blame him. She wanted to be angry at him, to turn her hurt into something tangible, something outside of herself. But she couldn't. In the end, she could only turn the anger inward, could only blame herself. Being called a bitch by the best person she's ever known, in front of her university friends, was a brutal wake up call. A reminder of how far she has fallen.

The weight of those thoughts paralyses her for a long moment, while a squeaky, high-pitched voice in the back of her brain screams at her to move, if only to avoid the pitying glance she might receive when Dahye returns. Still, her body protests, limbs heavy and muscles tight from the lack of sleep in the small, uncomfortable place.

With a deep breath that quivers in her chest, she forces herself up. For a second, her hand hesitating at the tent’s entrance and hovering over the zipper, she contemplates hiding in here forever, away from the discomfort. But she knows better. The world outside is waiting, and no amount of hesitation will make it disappear. Quickly throwing on a light pink crewneck over her pyjama shorts, she steps out.

Cool air brushes against her skin in a tender manner, gently welcoming her and seemingly easing her nerves. Before she’s forced to acknowledge the others, she moves quickly, her flip flops clad feet making their way to the small wash station. She hopes the freezing water she repeatedly splashes on her face will cleanse away the fog of the sleepless night, and wishes it could also wash away the weight pressing down on her chest. In the mirror, she convinces herself the dark circles under her eyes aren’t that dark after all, and that the unsettling smile she’s practising is convincing enough to finally join Dahye outside.

The makeshift breakfast setup is simple: a few snacks, some bread, fruit. Namjoon, Taehyung and Aera have also joined the small gathering, making it seven of them now, while the others seem to still be asleep in their tents. Eunbi can hear the casual chatter of the group, the way their voices blend together in an easy rhythm that feels foreign to her now.

With her head down, she picks at the small offerings, not really tasting anything, her appetite almost nonexistent. She almost misses Yoongi’s voice beside her, “Did the creams work?”

Eunbi startles slightly, her gaze darting to the older boy, who wears a sweet grin on his lips. She nods, mirroring his smile timidly. Yoongi makes a show of inspecting her nose as he leans closer, without going over the invisible boundary, his eyes squinting with exaggerated seriousness as he impersonates a doctor’s authority, “Yes, yes. They definitely worked. My patient looks so much better now.” His voice mocks a solemn tone, and it makes the girl heartily giggle.

She’s surprised to see this side of the boy, and she briefly wonders if he’s putting on this act just for her sake, because the misery on her features is that obvious even to him, who left the campfire way before the incident had happened. Either way, it works— she feels herself relax, if only a little, sinking back into her chair with a bit more ease.

Then, Aera asks her about the hoodie she’s wearing, going on about how it compliments her complexion perfectly and Dahye chimes in, explaining how it had originally belonged to her, but after the other girl borrowed it once she decided it looked so much better on her friend that she insisted Eunbi kept it. The recalling of those times keep her distracted, the smile on her face growing bigger as Namjoon makes sure she’s refilling her stomach properly, insisting that she needs her strength for the day’s activities, the worry in his furrowed brows making her feel part of something again.

Just as she begins to think she might make it through this, she senses a shift in the atmosphere. Besides her, Dahye tenses, and Aera clears her throat. Eunbi doesn’t have to look up to know why. Jeongguk has joined them. She can feel his presence like a dark cloud hanging over her, suffocating.

Slowly, almost reluctantly, her eyes lift to meet his. His gaze is sharp, eyes shadowed by dark circles that suggest he’s had as restless a night as she has. There’s no trace of warmth, no hint of the familiarity they used to share. Just cold, hard resentment. For a fleeting second, she wills herself to desperately search his face for any sign that she hasn’t lost everything, that there’s still something worth saving. But he quickly diverts his eyes, turning his attention to the others and slipping easily into their conversation. Once again, she feels like a stranger intruding on his world.

As the group’s attention shifts to the boy, Eunbi finds herself spiralling back into her thoughts, struggling to grasp onto anything solid, anything that makes sense. She knows how this will play out: both of them only pretending the other doesn’t exist, but making it clear that same presence is despised, the petty glares and spiteful comments building until one of them finally snaps, just like last night.

To some extent, she understands his frustration. After all, she’s the unwanted guest at his birthday, a painful reminder of a past he’d rather forget. But understanding doesn’t make it hurt any less. She wasn’t expecting to be openly degraded, with such hatred in his face; to feel small and unwelcome in a place that feels as much hers as his. What can she do? It’s not as if she can just get up and disappear. She’s there, he’s there, and they’re stuck in this awkward dance.

He hasn’t tried to make it any less awkward. Her attempts at being civil have been outright dismissed, and the memory of it fills her with the same rage that bubbled up last night. And as she observes him, it only intensifies. She feels herself cycling through the five stages of grief at an inhumane speed and without following its original order, having skipped straight to depression and now bouncing back to anger. When Jeongguk’s eyes meet hers again, the smile he had been giving Jimin fades instantly. She hates that look.

All that heaviness from last night feels like it has been sucked out of her chest, suddenly devoid of any of the previous gloom that had led her to sad tears streaming her cheeks and impending guilt putting her at fault. Nothing’s left, except this tight, burning knot. It’s not sadness anymore, it’s a hot, fierce feeling coiling in her stomach.

It’s Hoseok who breaks the spell, demanding all of their attention on him, his voice taking on a loud and excited tone. Eunbi struggles to make sense of his words through the fog of anger, her slowed down thought process only registering them when the collective holler that follows fully snaps her out of her trance and pulls her back to the present. The first, opening activity of the trip would be trekking. She doesn’t even bother to fake enthusiasm.

It’s only the second day at the campsite, and Eunbi already has a list long enough to fill an entire notebook of reasons why she never should have come. First of all, whatever fragile hope she had about making things right with Jeongguk has probably died a quick death only in those first few hours. And the rest of the trip? It’s packed with outdoor activities that she wouldn’t really proclaim herself a fan of. Did she even consider that before agreeing to this? The small kid still living inside her most likely saw the words “Jeongguk” and “birthday” and hit yes without a second thought. Not paying any mind to the fact that the two of them are no longer those kids in Busan.

When she glances back at said Busan boy, the previous negativity is washed off his face and instead, his eyes are bright and animated, geeking about today’s trek. Her chest tightens, again. It stings. He looks exactly the way he always has, like the Jeongguk she knows, except she’s not the reason for that look on his face, anymore.

It makes her think. Overthink. Weigh her options. Trying to map out the safest way to move around this minefield. Just moments ago, the sight of him had her blood boiling, the fire in his eyes igniting a stronger spark in her own. But she’s also aware her current position doesn’t paint her as the one entitled to put all the blame on him. Especially when this is supposed to be his trip, a way to celebrate with the people he’s building a new life with. She was never part of the equation, and she gets it. A wrong combination led to unwanted results, and now neither of them know how to find the right pieces and put them back together. None of the numbers are adding up.

She doesn’t feel like letting her resentment take over, at least not here and now; last night only went to show emotions are definitely not needed to decode the problem. She’ll carry them quietly, maybe even figure out some kind of solution along the way. Discover different sequences of calculations that could make sense.

For now, she’s set on ignoring him and making sure her presence is ignored back; avoiding a problem and avoiding creating one. Is this the stage of acceptance? If that’s what it can be called, she welcomes it with a long, liberating breath, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Dahye.

Except, several more huffs follow, and Dahye is there to endure all of them: when they’re back in the tent, Eunbi slapping on some concealer to cover her dark circles, then trying to disguise her pallid complexion with blush, ending up groaning and turning to her concerned friend with drawn up eyebrows, “Did I overdo it?”; as she’s zipping up her white tennis skort; rummaging her bag for ages only to slip on the most basic black oversized t-shirt; taking forever to tie her Converses.

Dahye stalls. She’s aware they’re late, can sense it in the way Hoseok is subtly raising his voice outside to make himself heard, “It’s not like we’re totally late on our schedule. Take your sweet time, guys!” He’s sarcastic, if his shaky laughter is anything to go by.

She also knows she doesn’t want to be eaten alive by her best friend, knows better not to rush her right now. She’s had enough experience living with her. So she stays quiet, puts up with her friend’s small crisis and lets her deal with it on her own. Only when it seems like she’s over with it, Dahye calmly asks Eunbi if she feels like she’s ready to go. The answer is uncertain, but Dahye grasps on that small percentuality of sureness and exits the tent either way, before Hoseok turns out to be the one eating her alive.

When they finally step out to join the group, Eunbi releases one last dramatic sigh, and the prolonged sound of it translates into Dahye’s right eyelid twitching. She tries composedly, at first, “Bibi, will you stop doing that?”

”Doing what?”

”Sighing like you’re a damn war veteran!” Her exasperation draws a few chuckles from their friends, including a sneaky giggle from Jimin, observing the interaction and getting Dahye’s attention in the process.

Eunbi mutters a small sorry, the apology dismissed by her now distracted friend, seemingly having forgotten the whole ordeal in a matter of seconds. The other girl seizes the moment to vent, “I’m just getting more stressed by the minute about this whole thing. I told you I shouldn’t have come. What if, I don’t know— I get hurt?” Her eyebrows are raised, dramatic act on, pout displayed, “I’ll blame you.”

Dahye is clearly unimpressed, rolling her eyes amusedly at Eunbi’s efforts, “Bi, you’ll be okay. Just fine.” She faces the shorter one now, hands on her shoulders like a mother sending her child off to summer camp. Well, technically she is about to do that, “Why don’t you try mingling with the others? Let’s pretend I don’t exist. Yeah!”

Dahye’s convincing nods are comically mirrored by Eunbi shaking her head, the desperation on her features going ignored by her taller friend. The last thing she wants right now is exactly mingling with the others. Dahye goes on dissimulating, “Stick next to Namjoon. He, huh— he knows about this kinda stuff. I guess? I’ll catch up with Jimin, okay? Bye, babe!”

Eunbi’s childish protests fall on deaf ears as the other girl slips away. Her one anchor, gone. Not even her best pleading tactics have worked. The muffled curses under her breath are vile, and she wishes Jimin would just make a move on her friend already. Maybe then, all of this would make sense.

Still, she merges with the others. It’s hard to find her place in there, especially with the insecurities plaguing her mind, as everyone splits off into their little duos and trios. Taehyung and Seokjin try to pull her into their usual, weird hypothetical debates, “Let’s say you have a penis. Would you still jack off if when you came your semen was just one big sperm, and afterward you'd have to fight it?”

Despite herself, she enjoys the distraction. Trekking is not so bad when you desperately need your brain to unplug. The trail is not too far from the campsite, circling it and making it ideal for them to wander without getting lost. The summer air is warm, and heavy with the sweet scent of wildflowers and the earthy aroma of sun-warmed pine needles.

With the path gradually climbing uphill, the initially dense forest begins to thin, and with it Eunbi’s thoughts follow, loosening with each step. She’s not sure if it’s the silly joy filling her when colourful butterflies flutter past, or the brief interaction she entertains with a small chipmunk darting across the way, but there’s something calming about the rhythm of it all. The green all around her takes over her spiralling mind.

Eventually, Dahye’s suggestion turns out to be a good one, and soon Eunbi finds herself covering most part of the walk with Namjoon by her side, who’s a walking encyclopedia on the local fauna. His easy conversation and gentle humour slowly start to chip away at the tension in her shoulders. He’s good company— listens well, comes up with just the right responses, and somehow makes her feel less like she’s tagging along and more like she belongs.

Time slips away when being this disconnected to the chaos of the city but so connected to this bubble of green and quiet. Sharing that with her friends doesn’t make her worry about the clock, though. She laughs loudly, and speaks comfortably. And just like that, she’s unaware of the first two hours that go by with walking and chatting, this last part ceasing gradually when the path becomes steeper and more rugged, their breaths getting heavier with each large step. But the effort is worth it when they reach the summit and are rewarded with a breathtaking view. Eunbi’s eyes light up at the sight, even more so when she spots the perfect rock to plop down on and gulp water from her flask.

Before she can, it takes a few other seconds for her eyes to cover the whole scene, and when they do she notices Jeongguk. He’s sitting next to Iseul, his clothes similar to the ones Eunbi is wearing, just colour inverted with a white oversized t-shirt and black gym shorts. He doesn’t seem to be aware of her presence, yet. He’s laughing at something on the girl’s phone. Eunbi silently scoffs.

The attention is brought on her and Namjoon the moment the latter greets his friend, who acts as if she doesn’t exist. Eunbi is not any less of an actor, pretending to be much more interested in the panorama rather than the conversation the two men are having.

While her companion takes some pictures of the scenery, Eunbi drinks as much water as needed to feel hydrated without needing to go to the bathroom in the next 10 seconds. The walk is still long, and the campsite still far. For that reason, and totally not because she can’t stand the sight of Jeongguk sitting next to the short haired girl giggling about one of their inside jokes, she announces, “I’m ready to go again.”

Namjoon looks a bit taken aback, “Already?”

”Yeah. Let’s go.”

”You sure you don’t wanna rest?” Eunbi only shakes her head, fixing the backpack on her shoulders. The taller boy chuckles, “And here I thought you hated trekking.”

Eunbi lets out a genuine laugh. It’s refreshing to hear, even if she can feel the interaction being followed attentively by a pair of curious eyes, and when she gives in and looks their way, they immediately focus on the trees behind her. Whatever.

Just as she starts walking to follow behind Namjoon, her foot trips on a rock and she stumbles. Her first instinct, accompanied by a loud squeal, is to grab Namjoon’s shoulders for support, and luckily the boy promptly catches her. From the corner of her eye, she swears she sees Jeongguk nearly leaping to his feet. His hand twitches before he forces it back to his lap.

”Are you okay?” Namjoon’s eyes are wide with concern, hands steady on her forearms as he checks her foot with his gaze for any sprain, “Wait, your shoe is untied.”

He swiftly drops on his knee and works on the laces of her shoes, delicately inspecting her ankle in the process. Eunbi looks down at him, and she feels her cheeks flare slightly, both because of the embarrassment and the action feeling a little too intimate. She diverts her eyes, and her gaze automatically lands on Jeongguk. His face is immediately wiped from what, for a split second, looked like fright. Worry. He’s back to indifference, looking behind his shoulders, and she figures she must have imagined it.

”Can you walk?” Namjoon’s voice pulls her back, his figure now standing tall in front of her. She nods, shaking off the overwhelment, and assures she’s okay. Namjoon doesn’t believe her until she’s forced to take a walking test, going back and forth for one minute before he’s fully convinced she hasn’t twisted her ankle or anything.

When they set off again, laughter bubbles up between them as Namjoon cheekily makes fun of her squeal and her clumsiness, and Eunbi lightly shoves him. She’s glad she’s going through this with him; it’s making them closer and she finds they have so much more in common than she initially thought.

For a moment, she regrets not even sitting down for a second to rest, her feet protesting in her old Converses, but she quickly realises the other alternative and prefers having her legs hurt over being in the presence of Jeongguk, surrounded by quiet, and nature, and all the possible existent reasons to be kind to each other. Which they’re not really planning on doing, right now.

Even more with Iseul there. Eunbi doesn’t know why, but something about the girl rubs her the wrong way. It’s not like they ever got a chance to bond, but it feels like Iseul hasn’t even tried. They don’t have anything against each other, but the way she’s sticking to Jeongguk’s side after yesterday’s fiasco brings Eunbi to not really contemplate the possibility of them getting closer either.

The trail descends into a different path of the forest, this one denser and cooler, providing the duo with a break from the midday heat. Their pace is slower, and the talking quiets down too in favour of soaking in the tranquillity that surrounds them. Eunbi feels herself recover from the previous slip and sighs, this time contentedly.

The peace doesn’t last for long. Behind her shoulders, her ears pick up hurried footsteps, the cracking of the leaves stronger under them, the unmistakable sound of someone catching up. Eunbi doesn’t need to turn around to know who it is, she can sense his presence like an itch she can’t scratch. Jeongguk reaches her, his voice almost touching her neck, “Can you move out of the way?”

There’s plenty of space. Hell, the path could fit five trucks. Her eyes close momentarily, searching for all the strength she needs to resist the provocation. She steps aside, set on not paying him too much mind. She doesn’t want to be affected by his tone. She’s decided to let him be, and think what he wants of her.

Jeongguk doesn’t seem too fond of the silence he’s met with, though. Was probably expecting her witty impulses to react. But she ignores him. He walks past her, but it looks like his initial aim at surpassing her goes forgotten. His steps are shorter, not covering big distances anymore and keeping him at an arm’s length from her, Iseul beside him oblivious to the tension.

He looks back after Eunbi thought he would limit himself to the snappy tone, but she was wrong, obviously, the glint in his eyes daring her to respond, “Wow, you’re really slow.”

Eunbi tries not to snap, she really tries. Thinks of brushing the comment with a simple dismissing chuckle, pretending it doesn’t make her hand twitch. Her tongue poke her inner cheek. But it’s like the minimal sight of him gets her burning with annoyance.

“Oh, sorry. I wasn’t aware this was a marathon. Good luck winning!” Is this enough of a bitch answer? She hopes so, the smile that accompanies it deathly sarcastic. She just doesn’t want to deal with Jeongguk after last night. Fears the resentment is still too alive for her to handle it better.

Of course, he doesn’t back down from a good childish banter, though, “You’re still slow.”

”Well, I’m trekking.”

”And you’re seriously wearing Converses to do that.” His eyes fall to her feet with a delighted scoff. He’s unbelievable.

”So sorry I couldn’t afford trekking shoes.” The concern is clearly faked, and she hopes she just imagined Jeongguk rolling his eyes subtly.

”That’s why you’re slow.” He has the audacity to raise his eyebrows and shrug at Eunbi’s speechless state, the argument resulting in the dumbest interaction she’s had in days, leaving her pissed nonetheless.

Jeongguk rewinds his fast paced walk, not really considering poor Iseul trying to keep up with him. Both her and Namjoon are left disoriented with the meaningless bickering they found themselves spectators of, but they wisely stay silent to prevent stirring the pot further.

Eunbi, however, doesn’t even notice the sudden quiet, the thoughts screaming in her brain making up for it. She feels completely blindsided. All those times she tried to make even the smallest kind of conversation with him, she was ignored. Her smiles, kind requests and efforts to maintain a friendly demeanour— completely fucking dismissed. And now, just when she’d decided the best thing she could do for both of them was to back off, to give them each the space they needed to avoid any further animosity, what does he do? He searches for it. Purposefully searches for it, as if he wants to provoke some kind of reaction out of her. She’s so fed up. What’s his deal? Why seek out conflict when they were finally starting to find some semblance of peace in their indifference? It’s infuriating. She can’t help the small growl of frustration that escapes her lips. God, what an asshole.

A small scoff from Namjoon pulls her out of her daze, and she glances his way, her face a picture of confusion and irritation. The boy shakes his head, a faint, amused smile playing on his lips, “He can be, sometimes.”

It’s only then that she realises she must have muttered her last thought out loud. She laughs softly at her slip, sheepishly brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear, “Sorry about that. We’re just… not exactly on good terms, right now.”

Namjoon is silent as her admission hangs in the air, unpressured. Instead, he just nods, his eyes reflecting a quiet empathy, inviting but not intrusive. He’s giving her the choice, whether she wishes to open up or carry that baggage on her own. It’s not like he’s oblivious to the tension between her and Jeongguk; the whole group would agree it has been evident ever since Eunbi joined. But neither she nor Jeongguk offered any explanations, so there was no choice but to adapt to the hostility. Dahye had only once hinted at the fact that they’d known each other for a long time, letting it slip casually, much to Eunbi’s silent dismay, but beyond that, no other details were ever shared.

Eunbi hesitates. She trusts Namjoon, the way she trusts the others, really— would vomit all her feelings on his t-shirt right now. But it wouldn’t feel right to give only her side of the story, knowing Jeongguk has lived in the dark about certain truths for years. He probably harbours his own complicated feelings, ones he’s kept close to his chest for a long time, feelings that would be overshadowed by her own if she spoke out of turn. She doesn’t think it’s her place to say what happened.

The silence stretches on, and Eunbi is more conflicted with each passing second. Her eyes drift to the figure of Jeongguk moving farther away, his silhouette becoming smaller with every step until he rounds a corner and disappears from view. With him goes the moment, the possibility of Namjoon ever knowing what happened, at least from her. He seems to accept this, doesn’t push her to speak, and she appreciates it when he shifts the conversation, making a light-hearted comment about the trees and their unusual shapes. She smiles.

The afternoon sun beats down on them, making the air thick and sticky. Time drags on, more hours roll by, the trail winding endlessly through the woods. They find spots to sit now and then, taking short breaks to catch their breath. But the further they trek, the more Eunbi grows frustrated. Her calves ache, muscles burning from the climb, and she has to stop every so often to rub at them, cursing under her breath. Namjoon forces himself to not laugh at that, instead keeping his usual calm and patient, assuring her with a grin that they’re almost there. Though she’s pretty sure he’s just saying that to keep her spirits up.

Eventually, their slow pace brings them closer to some of the others who had lagged behind. They all wear the same weary expressions, the exhaustion etched into their features. They try to relieve some of it by distracting themselves from the thought of their feet hurting, one of them starting a game of Guess the Song by humming the melody. It quickly dissolves into a mess of off-key notes and missed beats, their tired brains unable to keep up, and it’s not long before they’re all laughing. The kind of belly laughs that make your sides ache.

Eunbi finds herself genuinely enjoying the moment, forgetting all about asking to sit down every five minutes, even catching herself humming along. She discovers Taehyung has quite a talent for singing, and notices how blatantly obvious Aera’s crush on him is.

By the time they finally reach the campsite, Eunbi feels a wave of relief wash over her, so strong it nearly brings tears to her eyes. The sun has started its descent, casting a golden glow over the clearing, and the heat of the day is beginning to be replaced by a cool, refreshing breeze that lifts the hair from her sweaty neck. She falls into step beside Dahye, who has reappeared after what feels like hours spent with Jimin. They don’t need words; they walk side by side in silence, until the shorter one bumps her shoulder lightly against Dahye’s, a knowing smile on her lips.

“Shut up,” the taller one rolls her eyes at the unspoken tease, though the grin on her face suggests she’s anything but annoyed.

Eunbi’s hands are immediately up in the air, mocking innocence, ”Didn’t say a single word.”

”Sure, you didn’t.” Dahye retorts, but her tone is playful. “Anyways, the others want to hit the lake before dinner. You in?”

”I’ll pass. I need a nap. I’m dead tired from all this. When I catch Hoseok, I swear.” Eunbi’s voice is half-joking, half-serious, her narrowed eyes suggesting she may be even a bit too serious, and Dahye just laughs.

They part ways, Eunbi disappearing in her tent and relishing the thought of a few quiet moments to herself. As much as she loves the company, sometimes it drains her. Sometimes, she just needs a moment to breathe, be with her own self and nobody else. Especially given the amount of times her sanity has been tested during the first two days of this trip.

Sleep comes to her easily, pulling her under as soon as her head hits the small, makeshift pillow. The muffled sounds of her friends outside — splashes from the lake, bursts of laughter — soothe her into a deep, much-needed, dreamless rest.

When she stirs awake, the sun has already dipped below the horizon, and she can feel the noises from the group much closer now. The air is filled with the mouth-watering aroma of roasting meat and vegetables, and it’s said delicious smell that puts her five senses to operate again. Her stomach grumbling wakes her before Dahye can, the tent flaps open just as her friend was about to poke her head inside.

Eunbi blinks awake groggily, stumbling out bleary-eyed, and Dahye mercilessly laughs at her still half-asleep face, “You look like you’ve been hit by a truck.”

”Fuck you.”

The teasing is playful, and Eunbi cheekily grins as her friend giggles. She wraps a hoodie around her shoulders to ward off the growing chill and keep some of the warmth from the nap, then makes her way to the fire where the others are gathered. When they take in her sleep-dazed state, they don’t miss a beat and start poking fun at her, pulling her hood up over her head or sneakily tickling her sides until she’s laughing despite herself. The laughter feels good, like a release, and she finds herself slowly waking up, becoming more aware, more present.

A large campfire crackles in the centre of the group, its flames dancing in the cool evening air, Yoongi and Seokjin in charge of dinner. Someone’s turned on a portable speaker, and soft music drifts through the campsite, blending with the sounds of laughter and the sizzle of food. Eunbi sits back, letting the warmth of the fire seep into her skin, content to simply listen, to watch the way the firelight plays across everyone’s faces.

It’s almost too easy to relax into the peaceful rhythm of the evening, her still vulnerable brain unwinding the tension she wasn’t aware of from her shoulders. The heat of the fire, the hum of laughter, and the quiet murmur of conversation blend together, creating a cocoon of comfort she hadn’t realised she needed. It’s as she starts letting herself be taken over by that familiar, soothing calm — the same one she’d found in her tent — that a faint alarm goes off in her brain. Its tiny beep only grows louder until it’s impossible to ignore. Something’s off. Her contentment feels misplaced. Like she’s forgotten a crucial detail that’s only now creeping back into her awareness.

The realisation slams into her like a wave, jolting her fully awake, the moment her gaze lands on Jeongguk. Suddenly, everything snaps back into sharp focus. His face, illuminated by the flickering firelight, is a stark reminder of the reality she had temporarily escaped. The events of the past few days come rushing back. Right, quick recap: she’s on Jeongguk’s birthday trip. Jeongguk, who can’t stand the sight of her. Jeongguk, who had called her a bitch last night. How could she almost forget that minor detail?

So here she is, in the middle of the woods, surrounded by friends and food, but all she can focus on is Jeongguk. The one person here who probably wishes she wasn’t. No sense dwelling on it now, though. She’s there, there’s no going back. Her only aim is to make it through the night. Make it through the night without repeating yesterday, or making things even worse. For that to happen, she just has to ignore the object of her epiphany like she has been trying to ever since the stressful day started. She hopes he’ll be smart enough to do the same.

It seems like it when dinner goes by without any notable tension, which is a small miracle in itself. Jeongguk seems just as engrossed by the food as she is, its hot, comforting and delicious taste being a welcome distraction, especially with that distinct smoky flavour from being cooked over the open fire. Everyone is too busy devouring their meals to talk much, but their sparkling eyes speak with gratitude for their hyungs’ magic hands. Eunbi uses the unusual quiet to gaze up at the sky, the stars slowly coming out to dot its darkening blue.

Though, peace never lasts long with this group. Jimin breaks the silence as he cracks open a beer bottle with a grin that spells mischief, “Let’s play a game.”

Taehyung, already leaning back in his chair with a lazy smile, nods, chiming in, “Since we’ve got alcohol, how about Never Have I Ever?”

”Just don’t ask stupid questions because you want to get drunk,” Dahye warns, her eyes twinkling with amusement. Her comment earns a round of laughter, easing the tension that had settled during the quiet, their voices soon overtaking the crackling of the fire once again.

Jimin hands the beer bottles, making sure everyone has one as he sits back with a teasing glint in his gaze. He locks eyes with Dahye, challenging her, “Okay, I got the perfect one, then. Never have I ever… pooped.”

The absurdity of the statement catches the others off guard, and they all erupt in silly chuckles, taking a sip. Except for Dahye, who sits there with a perfectly straight face. Jimin raises an eyebrow, expectantly waiting for her to drink, but she just shrugs, “Girls don’t poop.”

The girls echo her sentiment with mock seriousness, filling the camp with sarcastic agreements and playful banter, while a debate kicks off between Dahye and Jimin about the biological impossibility of her assertion. It’s cut short when Iseul eagerly starts smacking Jeongguk’s thigh by her side, her excitement palpable and getting everyone’s attention in the process, “Ooh, I got one! Never have I ever stolen something.”

Most of the group drinks at that, Yoongi snorting blatantly, and Iseul frowns in disappointment, expecting a different outcome. Dahye chuckles, “Babe, everyone’s stolen at some point. That was too easy. It’s okay, let’s just keep going. Jeongguk, your turn.”

Next to Iseul, Jeongguk seems to think for a moment, then he grins, “Never have I ever… rode a motorcycle.” He gulps down a big sip from his bottle.

”Are you looking to get drunk tonight, Ggukie?” It’s his best friend teasing him with wiggling eyebrows, and the younger just shrugs with a lazy smirk.

Eunbi drinks too, at that. Now that she thinks of it, the first and only time she was on a bike, Jeongguk was taking her home and she was holding her arms tight around his torso, his helmet secured under her chin and his jacket wrapped around her body. That’s the last nice gesture she’s seen from him, and the thought stirs something complicated in her chest. She glances at him without meaning to, catching his eye for just a second before they both look away.

Hoseok is quick with another question, “Never have I ever gone skinny-dipping.”

Only Seokjin and Sora drink, and the group teases them with a long, exaggerated holler. The two love birds share a sheepish smile, their faces turning a soft shade of pink under the firelight.

”We should all do that right now.” It’s Taehyung proposing it, his tone half-serious, half-challenging.

Dahye pulls a face, “The thought alone is making me want to vomit.” She mutters, and the laughter that follows becomes the soundtrack of their night for what feels like hours, the game stretching on with each question getting weirder and more personal.

The beer flows freely, and Eunbi finds herself relaxing more than she expected, her body sinking comfortably into her chair. She laughs at Hoseok’s ridiculous question about eating bugs and groans at Jimin recalling the time he laughed so hard he pissed his pants as an adult, sipping on her bottle as the group continues to tease one another.

The loop restarts for the nth time, Iseul piping up again, “Never have I ever sneaked out.”

Surprisingly, only Namjoon, Jeongguk and Eunbi drink this time. The reaction is immediate, the group’s interest piqued, Dahye curiously turning to her friend, “When was that, Bibi?”

Eunbi doesn’t register the implications of her light giggle, nor the way her eyes soften as she gets caught up in the memory, “Back when I was in middle school.” Young and restless, desperate for the thrill. Besides her forever best friend.

Always a bit more noisy than he should be, Hoseok chimes in, “Were you with anyone?”

She chuckles, the answer coming to her lips almost instinctively, “Oh, I was with—“ Her gaze flickers to Jeongguk, and suddenly the smile drops from her face. Right. She always seems to forget where they stand now. It’s like the kid inside her is still desperately clinging to those moments, fighting to have him back, to drag him into her orbit.

Jeongguk lets out a small scoff, barely audible over the crackling fire, but she catches it. His expression is closed off, guarded. Eunbi clears her throat, “Huh, it doesn’t matter.”

The air grows thick with tension, the silence that follows almost deafening. Some of them understand the awkwardness, sensing the history that neither Eunbi nor Jeongguk ever fully explained. Others, like Hoseok, are a little clueless. He turns to the other boy, grinning like a cat who caught the canary, “Ooh, Ggukie, you drank too, right? Who was it with?”

Jeongguk shrugs, a dark, unamused smirk spreading across his lips. His eyes don’t leave Eunbi, his tone sarcastic but cold, “Apparently, it doesn’t matter.”

The affronted girl narrows her eyes, trying to mask the sting of his tone. The jab hits deeper than she’d like to admit, even more when they both know exactly why she said that. Why she had to say it. Unspeakable words are plastered on their wounded expressions, but she looks down at her hands before her heart betrays her, fighting its way up her throat to scream them all out.

It’s ironic how the questions that follow feel like one stab after the other, almost purposefully touching a raw nerve from the past, memories she’d rather not revisit now. Never have I ever used someone else’s toothbrush. Never have I ever climbed out a window. It’s small, silly moments that she knows — hopes — Jeongguk remembers too. And she can’t help but search for that sign of recognition in his face. Or anything, at this point. The slightest spark in his eyes. The imperceptible jolt of his hand. She wants to tell him. It matters. It matters. It matters.

But does it matter to him now? Did every single piece of the puzzle get lost in the storm? Did Jeongguk always feel so unreachable? Were his eyes always so devoid of light when he looked at her? She misses stargazing.

When the weight on her heart becomes too much to bear, the weariness from the day and the effects of the sleepless night tangling with the complicated emotions she’s feeling and translating into frustrated tears welling up in her eyes, she gets up muttering a half-hearted excuse about being tired and heads for her tent.

Inside, focusing on the fabric ceiling rather than both her heart and brain exceptionally teaming up only to scream at her to find a way to escape from all this (maybe steal Namjoon’s car keys, or swim her way back to the city), she wills her eyes to close and begs whatever god who might be listening to spare her from more misery. Just for tomorrow. Please.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

The divinities Eunbi tried to reach with her desperate pleas must have been terribly busy last night, because tomorrow is here and it’s charged with even more tension and hostility than she thought they could ever harbour for one another.

Today’s activity is canoeing, and with the surprisingly adequate amount of sleep she managed to get, her first approach is even optimistic. She’s decided to start off with the positive mindset that things couldn’t possibly get any worse. Sat in the small two-person canoe, she’s determined to steer the day in a better direction, to navigate the rough waters of their fraught relationship. Even if a new wave of something worse than what already happened is aimed directly at her, she’d be able to handle it.

Only thing she didn’t exactly consider was the counterpart of the clash possibly not sharing the same intentions as hers. Which is exactly what is happening, Jeongguk never backing down from stirring the pot further only to obtain a rank, grisly soup made with pettiness and resentment, spoon-feeding it to her with every chance he gets. Though she can still say she’s tasted worse from him, the bitterness lingers, coating her tongue like bile.

The setting for their little showdown is picturesque, almost mockingly so. The river glimmers under the afternoon sun, its surface reflecting a golden hue that dances across the water, and the hills in the distance are bathed in a soft, amber glow. Nature itself is trying to soothe the tension, yet it only seems to amplify the dissonance. The universe must be testing her. Can you handle this one, Bee?

The group naturally splits off into pairs, reflecting yesterday’s layout, with Eunbi and Namjoon finding themselves navigating together, just as Dahye is with Jimin, and Jeongguk with Iseul. It starts off peacefully enough. They glide slowly along the river, their paddles dipping gently into the water, the only sound the quiet murmurs of conversation and the occasional splash.

Eunbi allows herself to relax. She chuckles at Namjoon’s poor attempts at taking aesthetically pleasing pictures of her, then shows him how it’s done when she points the camera at him, sealing the moment with a lovely shot of her friend enveloped in an ochre light, his dimples sheepishly showing. She grazes the cold water with her finger, getting lost in the simple way it dances with her movements. She closes her eyes and tilts her face up to the sun, letting its warmth seep into her skin.

Though she should have anticipated the serenity being almost surreal, and should have considered herself deranged to even think it could continue like that. She’s pulled out of her moment when the water beside her canoe suddenly churns with agitation.

What she sees on her right is a sight that throws all the optimism and positivity from this morning right in the bin, and replaces it with the effects of Jeongguk’s wicked soup. Said chef shoots past her at an unnecessary, almost reckless speed for what’s supposed to be a leisurely excursion among friends. His canoe slices through the water with aggressive precision, sending ripples crashing against Eunbi’s boat. See, she would keep her composure in any other situation; would continue straight on her path of ignoring him, no matter how unsuccessful the previous attempts had been. She’s afraid she’ll keep failing, though.

And it’s really just because when she sees how he’s paddling with a furious intensity, his muscles straining with effort while Iseul is squealing and screaming in front of him, her hands gripping the sides of the boat as she begs him to slow down, it’s clear Jeongguk is doing it on purpose. Acting out another one of his plans to get a reaction out of her, not caring how down things could go at that point. Why should she, then? It’s when his eyes lock onto hers as he passes, daring to push all her buttons, that she finds her answer.

Eunbi’s blood boils. She’s speechless with the immaturity, but best believe she’s coming on ten times stronger with it. She just can’t wrap her mind around the fact that it seems the more she tries to interact with him, the more she gets pushed away; but the more she keeps her distance, the more he seeks for her reaction. What is he trying to prove? What is he aiming to get out of her? Eunbi doesn’t exactly have time to entertain the moral, rational part of her brain and puzzle over his motives, her own childishness busying her with gripping the paddles tight, her knuckles turning white as she channels all her frustration into rowing. She puts all the strength she can muster to try and catch up to Jeongguk without popping a vein. Namjoon notices the sudden shift in pace, even if minimal with Eunbi’s laughable efforts at moving faster, nonetheless startled by the abrupt burst of energy.

”Bi, what are you—“

”Joon, help me overtake Gguk.” It’s said through gritted teeth and narrowed eyes, fixated only on the target ahead. Namjoon is disoriented. Does she even realise the use of the nickname? It doesn’t look like that as she keeps going undeterred, even with her companion initially not collaborating, too confused to settle on what to do. Eventually, he sighs and grips his own paddle, deciding to help his friend in whatever battle she’s waging. He glances back to see just how far Jeongguk has gotten and shakes his head.

”You two are literal kids, you do know that?” Namjoon mutters, his comment going ignored.

Jeongguk, meanwhile, senses them closing in. A competitive glint flashes in his eyes. He doubles down, paddling harder, sending more water splashing in every direction. Eunbi isn't far behind, and for a moment it feels like they’re the only two on the river, locked in this ridiculous race. They’re both too stubborn to back down, too caught up in their own challenge to notice how idiotic they look.

Namjoon sighs again, raising his voice over the chaos, “Guys, seriously, this is getting out of hand.”

Iseul echoes his concern, a nervous edge to her voice, “Yeah, Joon’s right. Please, Ggukkie? We’re getting too far away from the others. It’s going to be a nightmare rowing back!”

Her whines go unnoticed by Jeongguk, who keeps his gaze straight on Eunbi as she has managed to catch up and is now beside him, mirroring that same flame in her orbs. He distractly acknowledges the two innocent spectators, “I just wanted to go and see… that thing over there.” He calls back, voice strained as he keeps his eyes locked on his rival. He doesn’t even know what he’s pointing at— there’s nothing but more water and distant trees.

”Oh, that… thing,” Eunbi adds, equally unconvincing. They exchange a glance, both wearing narrowed eyes and gritted teeth, determined not to be the first to admit defeat.

Their canoes race neck and neck, the water splashing around them as if reflecting the tension in the air. It’s a childish competition, one that speaks to their unresolved feelings, both wanting to interact, to be noticed by the other, but neither willing to show it’s because they care.

And mostly, it’s messy. Definitely not what two people should be attempting to do on their first time canoeing. On one side, their inexperience comes handy as it doesn’t completely isolate them from the starting point, but it still shouldn’t be happening. And it becomes more and more frantic as shown by their drawn faces and clumsy movements. A disaster of any kind should have been predicted at any second from that only.

It happens when Jeongguk leans too far over the edge, his canoe wobbling dangerously. Iseul lets out a high-pitched scream, gripping the sides of the boat. Eunbi’s heart leaps into her throat, all thoughts of their petty race forgotten in an instant.

“Gguk, careful!” She shouts, her voice thick with concern. Without thinking, she reaches out with her paddle, trying to steady his canoe from a distance. For a moment, everything else falls away— the tension, the bickering, the hurt. All she sees is him, about to fall, and her instinct to protect him kicks in.

Jeongguk manages to regain his balance just in time, his canoe righting itself with a lurch. Everything pauses. He lets out a breath of relief, a small, surprised chuckle escaping his lips. Eunbi exhales too, a soft, almost involuntary smile forming on her face. It lasts a second, but it feels like more when they share a look different from all the others. Relief. I’m glad you’re safe. Recognition. Thank you. Stillness.

But then reality snaps back into place. They both realise what they’re doing, and their expressions harden almost simultaneously. Eunbi quickly looks away, her face flushing with embarrassment. Jeongguk mutters, self-reproaching, “God, this is so stupid.”

The brief moment of softness vanishes the instant Eunbi catches his words, and she snaps, her voice rising childishly with indignation, “You started this!”

Jeongguk scoffs, “Me? You’re the one who wanted to overtake me!”

“You were the one paddling like a maniac!”

“I literally almost fell in the water because of you.”

Eunbi’s eyes get unbelievably wider with disbelief, a sarcastic laugh escaping her, “Oh, that was not because of me. That’s because you are incompetent.”

“Don’t throw big words at me now.”

“Sorry, I’ll lower my vocabulary down for you to understand.”

The childish bickering stretches on for astonishingly long minutes, the volume of their voices rising over the gentle sounds of the river. Namjoon, who had been rowing quietly, finally has enough. With a frustrated sigh, he takes the paddles and makes it his own solo mission to row back toward the others by himself, muttering under his breath, “I can’t believe I have to do this.”

His comment is mostly drowned out by the relentless sparring between Eunbi and Jeongguk, who are too engrossed in their argument to notice that Namjoon is now paddling alone, their strained voices echoing across the water. Jeongguk even goes as far as to row his canoe back behind his hyung’s just so he can have the last word in. It’s ridiculous, really— a silly argument born from a place neither of them is willing to acknowledge.

“Wow, that’s real mature of you, Eunbi. What’s next, you gonna stick your tongue out at me?”

She bristles, her cheeks flushing with the effort the rage is taking out of her, “I might as well if you keep acting like a dick!”

Jeongguk sneers, “Oh, please. I’m not the one who started this whole stupid race.”

Eunbi is aware the more she keeps it going, the more she’ll fall right into his trap but she fears she’s already too deep to back down now, “You were showing off!”

“And you were just so jealous you couldn’t stand it.”

“Enough! Both of you!” It’s Namjoon who finally snaps, his voice cutting through the chaos like a whip. He gives the oars a decisive pull, the canoe cutting through the water with renewed force. His voice is stern, and much different from the calm tone Eunbi has grown accustomed to, his patience had clearly worn thin, “I can’t believe I’m stuck in the middle of this… whatever this is. My ears are bleeding. If you two want to sort out whatever childish feud you’re having, do it on dry land. And away from me.”

The sudden authority in the older guy’s voice silences them both, and the quiet that falls upon them is as much a blessing as deafening. There’s a beat of awkward tension as they both realise how ridiculous they must look. Two grown adults behaving like squabbling children and shut down by their yelling, frustrated father. The reality of the situation finally starts to sink in. They’re too far from the rest of the group, their petty race having pulled them far off, all because of their stubbornness and bruised egos.

What follows is what should have surrounded them right from the beginning, stillness only interrupted by the flushing of the water as it gets caressed by their paddles rowing back to their initial position. Eunbi’s face burns with embarrassment, and with the realisation of how low she’s stooped. The urge to apologise to Namjoon itches at the back of her throat, but pride prevents her from doing it in front of Jeongguk.

No one dares add a word, not even a breath too loud, the tension lingering but now tinged with a sense of shame. Other than the rhythmic splash of their oars and the distant laughter of their friends, the only sound that can be occasionally heard is Namjoon’s bewildered scoffs and muttered comments. The other two know better than to cut the thin thread they’re all clutching onto.

But the chop comes, and it’s Iseul’s voice breaking the silence, soft and tentative, “You know, we’re all here to have fun. Can we just… try to get along for a little while?”

Eunbi has to bite her tongue. Otherwise, she fears any words that might leave her lips could permanently push Iseul away from the already slim possibility of them becoming friends. She keeps her eyes closed, a long exhale escaping her lips, irritation flaring up at the simplicity of the comment. As if it hadn’t already crossed her mind that they should be getting along. What a genius idea, truly.

Jeongguk seems to notice the tense silence that follows, especially the tightness in Eunbi’s expression and how Iseul’s well-meaning comment has only added fuel to the fire. He turns to his companion and offers her a reassuring smile, even if it feels a bit forced, “It’s okay, Isu. Let’s just head back.” His tone is gentle, trying to ease the awkward atmosphere, the nod that accompanies it recognising her effort, as well as its effective uselessness.

Taking in Jeongguk’s unnecessary, oversweet tone towards the other girl involuntarily causes Eunbi to scoff audibly, the sound loud and deliberate, followed by nothing. She keeps her gaze fixed on the water, refusing to look at either of them. But she feels Jeongguk’s narrowed eyes on her, “What now?”

”Nothing,” Eunbi mutters, the sarcasm in her tone cutting through the air. “Just love how you can turn on the charm when it suits you.”

Jeongguk’s jaw tightens for what feels like the nth time, fearing a possible cramp soon affecting the muscles of his mouth, but he keeps his response measured, “I’m just trying to not make this worse.”

A fake coo follows, Eunbi’s voice mockingly replicating his sudden calmness, “Oh, how nice of you, Ggukkie.”

“For the love of God, will you two drop it? Please?” Namjoon’s frustrated groan interrupts once again the bickering from stretching on, his patience truly at its limit. He increases the pace of his rowing, as if trying to physically distance himself from the scene.

The uncomfortable silence lingers for the rest of the paddling back, and it stretches on endlessly, mirroring the distance they’ve travelled in their pointless, self-inflicted race. If it isn’t the consequences of their own stupid actions. Eunbi dips her paddle in the water with more intention, fixating on the ripples spread out from each stroke, refusing to meet Namjoon’s annoyed gaze. She’s ashamed of the way she’s let her emotions and bottled up feelings rule a situation that could have been easily avoided, though she stubbornly refuses to fully acknowledge it, let alone admit that she might be in the wrong.

Still, Eunbi uses the time it gets to reach the shore to work on her breathing, counting every pause between her exhales, willing to free her mind from the chaotic flow of thoughts before she regrets letting them cling to her like a shadow and cause a bigger scene. The sight of the land approaching should bring some relief, but instead it only amplifies the sense of urgency gnawing at her. The moment the canoe nudges against the land, the sun beginning its descent, bathing the landscape in a warm light, Eunbi wastes no time making herself aware of her surroundings, as she’s already on her feet, moving with a speed that betrays her desperation to escape the tension that’s been suffocating her.

She’s unsteady as she steps out, the ground feeling oddly solid beneath her after the wobbly rhythm of the canoe. Namjoon notices her haste and instinctively reaches out to steady her, but she’s stepping away, her shoes sinking into the damp shore.

”I’m going back to the campsite,” Eunbi says, her voice clipped, the words barely more than a whisper after the raw shouting followed by complete muteness.

Namjoon, still seated, frowns as he looks up at her. Concern clouds his features, and he’s quick to offer, “Wait for me, I’ll take you back.”

Eunbi shakes her head, her refusal as gentle as it is resolute. A tight-lipped smile plays on her lips, though it doesn’t reach her eyes, “You should stay and enjoy the rest of the day.”

There’s a sheepish, unspoken apology written in her eyes, a fleeting look of regret that she’s too proud to voice. She unconsciously scrunches her nose, a telltale sign of her lingering embarrassment, and doesn’t even register Namjoon’s nod as she turns to start walking, eager to put distance between herself and the situation, but mostly from Jeongguk’s attentive eyes still throwing jabs her way.

As she walks back to the tents, Eunbi’s mind is already racing ahead to dinner. It’s been her biggest concern for a while now, a sinking feeling settling in her stomach, an instinctive dread that tonight will go as badly as she fears. Dinner always seems to bring out the worst in them, the frustration of the day simmering just below the surface until it boils over and erupts in sharp words and bitter exchanges. She can feel that exact feeling brewing dangerously in her stomach, but she knows she’d rather suppress it than have it consume her completely only for more pieces of her heart to break.

Dropping onto one of the deck chairs around the campsite, she waits for it to dissipate with her knees up to her chest. It’s hard at first, the sudden quiet too loud and overwhelming her with the pent up exasperation from today. It only fuels that part of her that still hasn’t moved on from the very first night, the one that set the tone for everything that followed, who harbours anger and spite for what Jeongguk had spat in her face with apparently no remorse. She wants to get back at him, to make him regret those words, to hurt him as much as he’s hurt her. But the bigger, remaining part of her knows she’s already done enough of that.

Would it even be worthy? What would she gain from it? Would getting back at Jeongguk truly bring her any peace, or would it only deepen the rift between them? She knows the answer, but it’s a bitter pill to swallow. Normally, she wouldn’t let any other person get away so easily with such a comment, but with Jeongguk, she’s aware he has lived with worse feelings for years, and that probably isn’t even the worst of what his heart holds. She’s not ready to wake that monster. Doesn’t know if she’s prepared to confront the truth behind the look he gives her. Doesn’t want to know if that truth is dictated by resentment, or if it’s all that’s left of her in Jeongguk’s view. Because if she’s honest with herself, no matter how angry she is, she can’t deny that she understands why he feels this way. And that understanding, more than anything, is what terrifies her the most.

Hours slip by in a blur, Eunbi stilling on her chair and giving space for her thoughts to unleash before it’s too late to put a collar back on again. The sun continues its descent, painting the sky in shades of orange and pink, and when it dips down the horizon, the campfire that has been just a pile of logs earlier is now crackling with life, its warmth spreading through the group as they gather for dinner. The smell of grilled food wafts through the air, mingling with the earthy scent of the forest and the cool breeze.

It’s a comforting atmosphere, one that’s filled with laughter and easy conversation, but Eunbi is yet to be shaken out her trance to realise none of what she fears is reflecting in the reality surrounding her. Only when Dahye finds a spot on the seat next to hers and launches into a breathless retelling of apparently the craziest experience she’s had so far during the trip earlier at the river, Eunbi reconnects with the present, and disconnects from the almost maniac way she’s been analysing her thoughts alone all evening.

As she follows Dahye’s lips moving, acknowledging her with small nods and chuckles that the storytelling gets out of her, she finds she’s been making one huge mistake all this while. She’s always been so wrapped up in her own fears, her need to control the narrative and anticipate the next emotional blow, that she’s missed the simple reality of what’s unfolding around her. The night easily moves forward without the weight of her expectations pressing down on it.

Maybe she doesn’t have to anticipate every move, every subtle shift in the atmosphere. Maybe she doesn’t have to keep trying to predict what Jeongguk might say or how the night might fall apart. For the first time, she lets herself be present— really present. She lets herself feel the warmth of the fire, hear the laughter of her friends without reading too much into it, lets herself stop preparing for a storm that isn’t coming.

There’s a quiet revelation in that. Tonight, she doesn’t want to brace herself for another argument or another disappointment. She can simply allow the peace of the moment to wash over her, instead of waiting for the worse. And by the time the stars are twinkling overhead and her tummy is full, she allows herself to let go of the anger and just be.

It’s when they start another one of their games that she fully lets her guard down and doesn’t focus on anything in particular, just how genuine her laughs resound in her own ears. Once again, it’s Jimin suggesting it, eyes twinkling, “How about a story-telling challenge? We each say one line and keep the story going around the circle.”

Eunbi chuckles and nods, feeling a flicker of excitement at the idea. It’s been a while since she’s done something as silly and spontaneous. They all shuffle closer, forming a tight circle around the fire, the flickering flames dancing in their eyes. Taehyung starts them off, his voice solemn as he leans in, “Once upon a time, in a forest much like this one, there was a squirrel who could sing opera.”

It’s impossible to keep straight faces at first, but they all try. The mock-seriousness in Taehyung’s tone only makes it funnier, and the story takes off from there, spiralling into absurdity. Hoseok follows up, voice filled with faux sorrow, “And this squirrel, right? He had a tragic backstory. He lost his most precious acorn in a dramatic flood.”

The more the tale escalates, the more their giggles can’t be stopped, with the squirrel also being a secret agent for a woodland spy network side by side with his best friend, a tap-dancing raccoon who dreamed of opening a dance studio in the big city. Seokjin adds that the talented animal was also training to perform in a world-renowned animal talent show, but was being sabotaged by a jealous porcupine who could juggle flaming pinecones.

Yoongi, usually the voice of reason, surprisingly leans into the layers of idiocy rather than trying to steer it back to some semblance of order, “The porcupine is actually being helped by an evil ninja rabbit who only speaks in riddles.” His voice carries a playful tone, and Eunbi can’t help but reflect his same look on her own face— unforced, genuine.

The fire crackles louder in response, almost as if laughing along with them and cheering them on. By the time the story comes back around to Jimin, he leans in with a grin caught up in the fun, “And then! The raccoon finally achieves his dream of opening a dance school in the city where all the animals can learn tap-dancing and perform in the biggest talent show ever.”

There’s a beat of silence before they all burst out laughing again, though this time it’s mixed with good-natured teasing. Namjoon chuckles and shakes his head, “Okay, now you’re just projecting.“

Hoseok, grinning from ear to ear, chimes in, “Yeah, come on, you’re turning this into your own personal dream story.”

Taehyung, never missing a beat, adds, “Next thing you know, you’ll have the raccoon choreographing the whole animal kingdom.”

The teasing banter continues, the group’s laughter bouncing off the trees. But Eunbi, still a little out of sync with their inside jokes, blinks in confusion, “Wait, what? What do you mean, reflecting yourself?”

The laughter fades, and Jimin turns to her, a bit of a sheepish grin on his face, “Oh, it’s just… I’ve always loved dancing. It’s been a silly dream of mine to— you know, maybe open a dance studio when I’m older.”

Eunbi’s eyes widen, genuine surprise lighting her features, “Wow, I had no idea. That’s so cool, Jimin! Seriously, I didn’t know that about you.”

There’s a brief, awkward pause, in which Jimin’s smile softens at her reaction, but before he can say anything more, Jeongguk scoffs audibly. The sound cuts through the moment like a sharp blade. He’s leaning back, arms crossed over his chest, his eyes narrowing at Eunbi with something between disdain and frustration but his tone unbothered, “That’s basic Jimin knowledge. Everyone knows that.”

Once again, Eunbi couldn’t have anticipated Jeongguk being on a completely different agenda. She should have known, she’s aware of that. But she hadn’t wanted to. She only wanted to go by the foolish belief that tonight would be different. That just for one evening they could coexist in the same space, be civil, even share a laugh.

It was a naive hope. And now, standing crosshairs of Jeongguk’s fiery glaze, not only with the glow of the flames, she realises just how mistaken she’s been. How stupid it was of her to think Jeongguk wouldn’t jump at the possibility of adding fuel to the fire. Because, right now, she finds herself utterly unprepared to read his clenched jaw, contrasting with the careless, almost indifferent posture he tries to maintain. She struggles to predict how it might develop if she uses a slightly different tone, or takes more time to respond.

She doesn’t remember moving around Jeongguk ever being this difficult. The physical closeness forced upon them by this trip only makes the emotional distance between them more glaring. They might be sitting around the same campfire, but it’s clear from the way he bristles at her every word, every gesture, that in Jeongguk’s mind, she’s universes away. And it’s exactly where he wants her to stay. No spaceship will bring her back. There’s nowhere she can land on his planet.

Eunbi’s exhaustion reaches its breaking point. She’s tired of pretending she’s okay with this. Fed up with letting remorse gnaw at her insides and reduce her to a punching bag for his barely-contained rage. Willing to take every fist thrown her way, rendering her vulnerable to his every attempt at breaking her down. Though what she feels is not resentment. It’s pure, bone-deep weariness. She doesn’t want to take this tug of war any further. If letting go of the idea of fixing things between them is what he wants, she’ll give him that.

With a sigh, she lowers her gaze to her hands for a moment, her fingers twitching unconsciously. Time and time again, she’s the reason why the group can’t go a few hours without being drawn into their venomous war.

Her eyes glisten with shame and helplessness as she looks back up, her voice reflecting anything but that weakness, its sharp and snappy tone overtaking the crackling fire, “What is your problem?”

Differently from the silence that stretched on after the unnecessary jab caught her by surprise, each second going by the ticks of a bomb ready to explode and wipe out the frivolity of the night, Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate. Doesn’t even give her the courtesy of pretending to think it over. His response comes swiftly, harshly, as if he’s been waiting for the question all night, “My problem? My problem is that you’re here.”

Eunbi can’t help but scoff. It’s not meant to be arrogant, nor mocking. It’s almost an instinctive reaction, a defence mechanism against the disbelief that rises in her throat. Her words drip with sarcasm, though her voice remains calm, “Oh, I’m sorry I wanted to do something nice for you with the others.”

Jeongguk’s gaze is steady, unwavering, and his next words land like a punch to the gut, “Well, you shouldn’t have. You shouldn’t be here.”

Though she can say she’s gotten better at enduring, it still stings. None of that shows on her face, unflinching, neutral. A biting smile tugs at her lips, though it doesn’t reach her eyes, “Trust me, I know.”

There’s a pause— one brief, agonising moment where she thinks maybe, just maybe, this is still part of their aimless bickering that has been going on the past two days, a spat that will blow over.

But then Jeongguk speaks again, and his voice is so distant it’s even hard to hear him clearly, “I hope you do. You don’t belong here.”

Silence stretches on, the fire crackling softly the only sound between them. She’s sure everyone has stopped breathing, their exhales stuck up in their throat, afraid of releasing them, of stepping foot into something that doesn’t concern them.

Jeongguk’s eyes never leave hers, the coldness in them piercing through the thin veil of pretence they’ve both been clinging to. He doesn’t stop there, his voice deathly quiet, “Not with me. Not with the others. Can’t you see that?”

Eunbi’s heart lurches. She thinks she would prefer being called every name in the book. Have Jeongguk spit at her for all the pain she put him through. Say anything he wants about her being an awful person. But he knows just how to twist the knife. Still knows how to read her every faltering step, the doubts behind her eyes, the insecurities plaguing her mind. Surely, he also still knows how to be the one feeding her the desperate acceptance she needs, the assurance that none of her fears are true. So many times Jeongguk was there to swear she’s loved; that she wouldn’t be left alone ever again.

But now, he decides to use all that knowledge to spin it against her, to push all the right buttons that he knows will hurt her most. She doesn’t belong here. It’s what her mind has whispered to her over and over again since she stepped foot in his sacred circle, an outsider next to Dahye. She has been good at ignoring those hushed tones, to convince herself they’re lies. That these people are her friends, and they all see her as part of the group. That her fears were unfounded.

The proof her haunting thoughts have been right all along is in front of her though, and it presses down on her chest. It’s too much— too raw, too real. She should have seen it coming, but she’s still speechless. Her throat tight, her eyes burning with unshed tears. Though she refuses to let them fall for eleven pairs of eyes to watch. For his eyes to glow with satisfaction.

Eunbi manages to laugh bitterly, though the sound is hollow, “Right. Well, thanks for making it clear.” With her hands trembling slightly, hiding it by clenching them into fists at her sides, she pushes herself to her feet, “I’ll go now. Enjoy your night. Asshole.”

Her voice wavering on the last word, Eunbi turns and walks away from the fire, the warmth of it barely touching her anymore. She doesn’t let herself falter as she heads toward her tent, her footsteps hurried, the chill of the night settling in around her.

And as she shields herself from the outside world, its sounds accompanied by the group’s muttered voices escalating with agitation, words she won’t try to register, she doesn’t bother giving herself a headache trying to hold the tears in. This time, she lets them spill over freely, each one carrying the weight of every single one of her fears. She keeps the sobs in her chest, whimpering with the signals of panic taking over. And now more than ever, she really wishes she just wasn’t here.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

When it comes to this time of the year, Jeongguk inevitably becomes the worst version of himself. It’s a cruel irony that it all resurfaces right as his birthday approaches. It’s been that way for years now. In the beginning, when he was still in Busan, he found it hard to blow the candles on his cake without his shoulders feeling heavy, his eyes involuntarily searching for someone that was no longer there; with the unanswered questions dulling the sounds around, leaving him desensitised to the love so blatantly in front of him.

It took him a while to accept it, even with a missing spot unfilled. Jeongguk has never been good with changes. Has always lived by an unwavering, straight path on which he walked confidently, jumping over the cracks on the ground and ignoring any turns. The only deviation he allowed was the one that led him to Seoul. It was a long wait before the stoplight turned green, his own doubts plaguing him even with his parents’ encouragement; and when it did, he crossed the road alone reluctantly, glancing back more than once.

Jeongguk found that this lane was a little less preserved and far less predictable than the one he took his very first steps on. It was full of bumps, a lot of them causing him to trip and fall face first into the concrete. So many dead ends that forced him to make a choice, left or right. But on those same streets, he also recognised elements from the previous block: his love for filmography, the very reason he came to the capital; his mom’s goodnight tune, even over the phone; his thick Busan accent, instantly mirrored into Jimin’s own; the creeping dread as his birthday approached.

There are things he never fully got over, and every year, when August rushes to an end and September looms, he becomes highly aware of it. But over time, he’s learned to live with it. The questions that once consumed him have no answers, and he came to terms with the fact that he couldn’t help what happened. What he’s always had control over, however, was the small key to an even smaller room in his brain, where with great effort he locked Eunbi away once he turned 17.

She tried to break free multiple times, banging on the door and begging to be let out. Jeongguk even had to get maintenance on the lock. Eventually she quieted down, and only ever stirred whenever she knew September was coming from the little calendar she had hung up in the cramped space.

Jeongguk learned to handle it. The memories were still alive, but they didn’t hurt him the way they used to. They felt distant, resurfacing only when he himself noticed the final days of August being crossed on his own calendar. Using a red marker to draw those lines, his fingers still tingled with something close to familiar uneasiness. Sometimes, if it managed to spread to his whole body, it would overtake him, and in the days leading up to his birthday he’d snap more easily, feel more irritated.

But he’d gotten better at controlling it. Last year, his first time turning a year older in a place that wasn’t Busan, he didn’t even feel it. It might have been all the new, shiny people surrounding him in the small flat he was renting with Jimin, the fresh adrenaline from making sure he was feeding his friends with a fun time clouding every other thought. Back in that room, Eunbi peacefully slept through the entirety of it. Even forgot to wish him a happy birthday.

With the real Eunbi physically standing in front of him, all of Jeongguk’s efforts to keep her locked away shattered in one, insignificant instant. It only took a snap of the little-version-of-her in his brain for every wall he’d meticulously built to come crashing down. The door he had so carefully sealed off was now flung open, and little Eunbi burst through, running wild, mingling with thoughts she had no business messing with and wreaking havoc on all those parts of his mind that had been closed off, at least until that moment.

Behind her, an unstoppable flood of emotions he’d long buried surged in, filling his mind until it couldn’t hold any more. It spread to his chest, his heart straining under the weight of everything he didn’t want to feel. Little Eunbi, with her hair still short, worn bermudas, and a t-shirt stained with yellow paint, revelled in the chaos she was causing. She jumped and skipped back and forth between his brain and his heart, completely at ease, her presence so familiar yet entirely out of place. She seemed to enjoy every second of it.

And Jeongguk grew more and more unnerved by that. Little Eunbi was different from the Eunbi that avoided his gaze and awkwardly bowed. The latter had her hair longer, with short bangs softly brushing over her brows, her hands neatly manicured and her clothes spotless. She stood there, straight and put-together, a polished version of the girl who once got dirt all over herself and laughed too loud.

But what probably made him madder was that the more Eunbi started to find her place within the group, the more that seemingly dead part of her began to re-emerge, inching its way back into his life. It was like watching a ghost regain its form, piece by piece. The Eunbi he thought he had locked away was starting to blur with the present Eunbi, and every time she laughed it reminded him of how easy things had once been between them, back when her presence hadn’t been a thorn in his side but a constant comfort. Now, that sound twisted something deep in his chest, something he had long buried under layers of hurt and distance.

What frustrated him even more was that Eunbi seemed completely oblivious to it all. The way she eased into the group, gaining their acceptance, was infuriating. It was as if the distance between them meant nothing to her, as if she could waltz back into his life without consequence. The more they welcomed her, the more that old familiarity surfaced. She was becoming Eunbi again— the Eunbi who had once mattered. And that thought made his stomach churn.

It twisted even further when he found himself unconsciously reading into her every move. His knowledge of her, the way she used to be, crept into his mind without his consent, and he began to analyse her behaviour, picking apart her words and actions. It was almost instinctive, the way he could still understand her, still anticipate her moods. It only ended up poisoning him, because he soon realised those smiles — those little moments of reconnection to the past — were never directed at him. He could recognise her in the eyes of his friends, but never in his own.

Did she even care about what had happened between them? Did she think she could simply move on like none of it had affected him? Did she ever realise how deep those cracks still ran, or was he the only one haunted by the weight of their past?

At first, he forced the frustration to only translate into indifference. Bitter coldness. Not paying her presence too much mind, but still making sure she could feel his resentment dangerously tipping over the edge, and threatening to trip at any minute.

But the combination of his birthday approaching and Eunbi wandering around his space as if nothing ever happened caused the explosion. The rancorous version of himself, the one he thought he managed to successfully bury, now fought its way to the surface and dragged him back to square one: a freshly 16 years old Jeongguk with a freshly broken trust.

The intensity of those emotions hit him like a tidal wave, the kind that leaves you breathless, unable to distinguish between up and down. It wasn’t just anger. It was cold betrayal, and the sight of her, standing there so effortlessly among his friends on his birthday trip, made his skin prickle with irritation. Eunbi had slid into their plans with such ease, as if she belonged, and it was ironic considering she hadn’t even wanted to be in the same car as him.

Jeongguk only needed that last, littlest drop to fall, and with it, every ounce of restraint he had left evaporated. The thin thread of control he’d been clinging to snapped. He had thought he’d moved on, convinced himself that enough time had passed for him to handle her presence with maturity.

But he was wrong. Time hadn’t healed him like he’d hoped. Instead, it had just let the bitterness fester until now. He couldn’t take it anymore, couldn’t hold himself back. The more he watched her fit in so naturally, laughing at someone’s joke or sharing a quiet moment by the fire, the more the frustration swelled in his chest. It was infuriating that she could act so unfazed, go up to him with a smile he has always recognised too well as if nothing ever was.

He didn’t even realise how tight the grip on his own emotions had been, until they were flooding out of him all at once. Jeongguk felt the words rising in his throat before he could stop them, the resentment spilling over like poison. And now he can feel the control slipping, the pain rushing to the surface like a dam had burst inside him. It’s almost addicting, even when his mind screams at him to stop, to take a breath. But his heart, the part of him still broken from all that time ago, drives him forward.

He needs her to feel it, needs it to be reflected in her eyes. This is what he’d been holding back for so long. This is the pain she’d left him with, and now he’s finally giving it back to her, forcing her to carry some of the weight. He isn’t the only one hurting anymore.

Each word that leaves his mouth is laced with venom, and he watches, wavering between satisfaction and regret, as they hit their target. Her eyes always widen slightly, the smallest flinch in her expression betraying her shock. For a second, he thinks he sees the cracks forming—tiny fissures in that calm, polished exterior she’d put on.

But the more he watches her crumble, the more he feels the bitter taste of victory sour in his mouth. There’s a part of him that hates what he’s doing. Hates that he has become the kind of person who lashes out like this, who takes pleasure in someone else’s pain. Especially hers. It’s like he’s caught in this vicious cycle of wanting to keep his distance but also wanting her attention. And the only way to get that is by hurting her before he himself can process his own hurt through different lenses.

Jeongguk knows he’s being unfair, but something in him can’t let it go. He‘s still simmering with unresolved anger, but there’s also a gnawing guilt, a nagging voice in his head telling him he’s pushing her too far, too hard. Last night, her eyes glossy with tears, he felt the pang that usually followed unleashing his poisonous words hit harder in his chest. He had picked his script with purpose, knowing exactly where to aim, only to shoot hard and leave her lifeless. She fought through the end to get her breaths out, until she couldn’t. Jeongguk waited for the sense of triumph to wash over him, but it never did.

Instead, her fragile figure retreating only after a weak attempt at returning even the smallest amount of the hurt she felt, Jeongguk still felt heavy. Heavy with remorse and guilt. Heavy with the pressure reflected in his friends’ eyes. And he couldn’t handle that. He stood up shortly after Eunbi left, his brain refusing to internalise Dahye’s affront and the group’s deafening silence.

Hours later, Jeongguk lies wide awake, his eyes staring into the void of the tent. He hasn’t been able to keep them shut for more than a minute, his mind a battlefield. He finds it’s impossible to resonate between the insatiable desire for revenge and the exhaustion rendering him numb to any possibility of feeding that need. There’s a part of him that just wants peace.

Glancing to his side, Jimin and Taehyung sleep soundly in the cramped space, blissfully unaware of the storm raging inside him. Neither of them had wanted to dive too deep into what happened, the spat words, the irrational rage constantly taking over their younger friend and keeping him stuck between fight and flight with no escape. Jimin only offered a soft pat on the shoulder and his warmest smile, “It’ll be okay, Jeonggukkie. Let’s just sleep now, hm?”

Jeongguk wishes it could have been as simple as Jimin made it sound. For his friends, it was. They both fell asleep without trouble, and Jeongguk is grateful for that. At least two out of three of them were getting the rest they deserved. Still, he’s careful not to wake them while he quietly slips out of the tent.

The early morning air is crisp, biting at his skin, but the sensation is grounding. Dawn is just beginning to break, soft light spilling over the horizon and casting everything in a faint glow. The quiet sounds of nature surround him, and though they don’t quite ease the weight in his chest, they provide a temporary lull. It’s the cool air caressing his face and threading through his hair that brings some sort of order.

His thoughts start to settle. They don’t feel like a stadium of shouting voices anymore. The yells quiet down and he’s able to sift through them now, picking each one apart, giving himself the space to breathe. It’s not perfect, but it’s better. He feels like he can move past this— if not for his own sake, then for the sake of the others.

Still, there’s one thought that refuses to be silenced. One question that lingers just beneath the surface, gnawing at the edges of his justified anger. It’s persistent, creeping into his mind with every inhale. Why does hurting her hurt him too?

It seems like the simplest of questions, but Jeongguk refuses to accept what appears to be the answer. It sits there, plain as day, yet he pushes it away. He doesn’t want to keep dissecting it, turning it over and over in his mind, trying to find any other plausible way out, but he can’t help himself. His thoughts spiral, stretching the minutes into what feels like eternity, until he loses track of time altogether. He zones out so deeply that when he finally snaps back, it’s only because the quiet sound of a tent zipper reaches his ears, followed by Hoseok’s hesitant head poking out.

Jeongguk blinks, suddenly aware that he’s been sitting in the same spot, on the same chair, staring at the same patch of dirt for who knows how long. Hours, at least. His body feels stiff, his mind trapped in an endless loop. He wonders if he’s lost his ability to pull himself out of this mental prison, if this is it. He’s stuck. His birthday is less than 24 hours away, and he’s more miserable than he’s been in months.

His chest tightens when he sees Hoseok walking toward him. Panic rises swiftly, because Hoseok had witnessed last night’s disaster. They all had. His hands clench into fists, his orbs trembling as doubt swarms his mind. Did he ruin the entire trip for everyone? Is the tension in the air his fault? Is he the cause of the awkward silence that lingered after he tore Eunbi apart with his words? Do they hate—

“Jeonggukkie? You okay?”

The softness in Hoseok’s tone almost makes Jeongguk flinch. It’s so gentle, filled with concern, and for a moment he questions everything he’s been telling himself. If Hoseok hated him, if any of them did, he wouldn’t be standing here now, looking at him with such care in his eyes.

Jeongguk only nods in response, the tension in his shoulders unwinding just a little as his older friend’s face softens into a sweet smile. There’s no judgement, no condemnation. Just quiet understanding. He waits in the lingering silence as Hoseok moves to freshen up. The moment he returns, settling into one of the chairs nearby, Jeongguk feels a sudden urge to speak clawing at his throat. He knows if he doesn’t start talking, the weight of the trap of his own mind will tighten around him again. So he talks, talks and talks about anything that doesn’t resemble the doom he was slipping into.

He’s a fugitive from his thoughts, and he keeps running even when more of the others join the small circle in the middle of the campsite. None of them seem to look at Jeongguk differently, the jokes flowing naturally as small laughs fill the quiet morning. It’s as if everything is as it should be, and he feels himself ease back into composure. Though, the guilt still lingers, heavy and unshakable. He ignores it.

The sun climbs higher in the sky, casting light above them and providing Jeongguk with warmth that he stores in his chest. He gets more of that from his friends’ smiles and the excitement flowing energetically out of them as Hoseok explains they’ll be cycling today, crossing scenic paths that round the campsite.

He watches as they all gather, geeking about today’s activity and stuffing their faces with as much food as they can get their hands on. The topic soon shifts to his birthday, which Jeongguk is particularly dreading. They’re already planning to get him wasted tonight, and the boy chuckles softly, though his laughter is hesitant, distracted.

His gaze keeps drifting to the one tent that hasn’t opened yet, the only place that remains closed off to the rest of the group. The only two people missing from their little circle haven’t joined yet, and it’s hard for Jeongguk to ignore that. To ignore her.

With more minutes going by and the tent unmoving, remaining still and almost mocking in its silence, he finds it even harder to focus on the laughter and the lightness of the morning. The world outside his head seems to move on without him, blissfully unaware of the turmoil inside him. On one side, he’s relieved that the attention has shifted away from him, that the day can unfold even without him being fully present. But that same realisation makes him feel like he’s teetering on the edge, dangerously close to falling back into the prison of his own thoughts.

Oblivious to it, his inner struggle is written all over his face, clear as day to anyone who cares enough to look. And Jimin notices right away. He doesn’t say anything at first, just reaches out to gently caress Jeongguk’s shoulder, the touch so light that the brown haired boy startles slightly before meeting his friend’s gaze. Jimin’s face is soft, a sweet smile tugging at his lips as he tilts his head, “Something on your mind?”

His tone is gentle, almost knowing. Jeongguk shakes his head, brushing off the concern, but his eyes flicker, and his own body betrays him when he instinctively turns once again to check for any movement from the tent. The subtle action doesn’t go unnoticed by the blonde, who hums and makes the other boy sigh wearily, an excuse ready on his lips, “I just haven’t had much sleep.”

“Why don’t you go call Eunbi and Dahye? They probably won’t get to have breakfast if we’re leaving soon.” Jimin’s suggestion comes with caution but it strikes a chord.

Jeongguk stares at his friend, though it feels more like he’s staring through him. The words hang in the air as he zones out, weighing his options. He doesn’t want them to miss breakfast, sure. And part of him just wants to check on them, to make sure they’re okay. Breathing, alive. Yeah, that’s it.

But a question lingers: is he ready to face Eunbi so directly? The task sounds simple enough—just call them over, remind them they’ll have to leave soon for the day’s plans. But the weight of last night still clings to him. What if he hasn’t recovered from the poison he spat? What if that anger rises up, unprovoked, and spills out again? Worse, what if he can’t say anything at all? Or what if Eunbi sees him and returns all the evil, even stronger and sharper? What if she hits back harder and he’s left bleeding on the ground?

The furious speed at which his thoughts churn makes Jeongguk’s head spin, a relentless loop that threatens to overtake him, before the weight on his lap pulls him back. He glances down to see a plate of food resting there—some leftovers from breakfast. When he looks back at his friend, Jimin’s gaze is comforting, “You could bring them this and check if they’re okay with leaving in 30 minutes, hm?”

Jimin is crouching beside him, eyes soft but knowing, not pushing or pressing for anything, but somehow encouraging him all the same. The reassurance he finds in his gaze is enough for Jeongguk. His rushed thought process slows down, and he has room to realise he was only letting irrational panic speak. There’s no reason why any of those scenarios and possible outcomes could roll out only from calling his friends (well, his friend and… Eunbi) over for breakfast.

Jeongguk nods as he stands, his movements stiff at first, his hands clutching the plate tightly. Even with the knowledge he doesn’t have to necessarily address Eunbi, each step toward the tent feels like he’s carrying the weight of the world. The ground beneath him crunches softly, and his heart unreasonably picks up. The idea of simply facing her makes him sick to his stomach. He doesn’t want to accept it, but it’s guilt that’s causing that.

He’s so consumed by trying to chase away his own thoughts he doesn’t immediately register he’s close enough now that he can see the outline of the closed tent flap. It takes him even more to discern the sounds coming from inside. At first, it’s just a faint noise—muffled, almost unintelligible.

But as he draws closer, it becomes clearer. His steps falter. Another second goes by before he places it, and then it hits him like a punch to the gut. Eunbi is crying.

Jeongguk’s body tenses. No, she’s sobbing. It feels like someone’s wrapped a hand around his heart and squeezed. Her words are barely comprehensible, choked-out syllables and pleading whispers. He can make out enough to know that she’s begging, almost desperately, for Dahye to take her away from here.

Jeongguk freezes, paralyzed by the intensity of each of her desperate gasps. The world around him fades. The raw sound of her pain consumes him, and it cuts through him in ways he didn’t anticipate. He had wanted this, hadn’t he? He had wanted to hurt her, to see her broken, see her exactly like this. He had succeeded. He thought it would somehow bring him peace, make things right. Then why does each sob that escapes her build a shattering pressure in his chest?

It all ended up feeling wrong. As if he’s the one falling apart, the one who can’t catch his breath. Her grief echoes in him, breaking pieces inside he thought were long buried. There’s that gnawing guilt, eating away at the anger he had used to justify everything.

With the cries growing louder in his ears, he finds an answer as to why it hurts to hurt her. And it’s a persistent whisper he can no longer ignore.

Jeongguk struggles. He struggles to process it all, his senses slow. He doesn’t know whether to walk away or step closer. His head is screaming at him to move, to do something, but his body won’t listen.

It takes him another moment to realise that Dahye is moving inside the tent, her voice low and soothing as she tries to comfort Eunbi. Then, the tent flap rustles, and Dahye steps out. The moment her eyes land on him, her expression shifts, hardening with disappointment that sends a new wave of guilt crashing into him.

“You really fucked up this time.” She doesn’t bother to hide what seemed to only paint her features seconds ago. Jeongguk is left momentarily stunned, even more with her shoulder brushing against his as she walks past him. It’s suddenly too fast, and he can’t bring himself to respond, can’t find the words to defend himself or apologise.

His gaze falls down in an attempt to regain control over his actions, but as he searches for something, anything, to ground him he notices that the tent is left slightly open. Through the small gap, he can only see darkness and make out the quiet sniffles coming from Eunbi. His body stills, the sound only worsening the mess of thoughts crashing into each other.

One realisation sends a fresh wave of panic through him. Eunbi can see him. She knows he’s there, standing. Doing nothing, even while she cries. The jolt rushes all through his muscles this time, travelling from his brain, and it’s enough to finally get him to move.

Jeongguk takes a shaky step back, only to turn around fast when he’s met with a possibility he doesn’t want to confront. If he sees her face — red, tear-streaked, her eyes swollen from crying — he doubts he’d be able to handle it. Handle the sight of the pain that he caused. He’s sure he’d lose whatever fragile control he has left. He’s already on the brink of breaking just from hearing her. Seeing her like that would undo him completely.

As he retreats, the weight of everything he’s done settles in. He wonders if they’ve reached a point of no coming back. The hurt is too deep, the damage too irreversible. And for the first time, even the foolish kid inside him, the one that still craves for his Dal, wonders if they’ll ever be able to find their way back to each other. The bridge between them feels burned, reduced to ashes, and he’s terrified that there’s no rebuilding it. It’s falling apart for good.

It’s impossible for Jeongguk to keep the dread eating at his insides from showing on his face. It betrays him, every ounce of regret etched plainly across his features. He reluctantly lifts up his gaze. Especially when he’s met with Jimin’s concerned one, the pity there making his stomach twist even tighter, and Dahye’s flaring eyes cutting through him like daggers.

Eunbi steps out shortly after. She moves quietly, almost too quietly, as if she’s trying to blend and disappear into the air. He can immediately tell that she’s made an effort to mask the misery, the makeup she’s wearing is heavier than usual. Too much in places that don’t need it. A shield against him.

But he refuses to let himself look at her for too long. His eyes flit away before he’s forced to see too much. Before the truths he runs from hit him square in the face, before he’s able to discern the words that should be spoken but remain unsaid.

Once again, he lets his doubts speak louder than reason. He convinces himself that all of his friends are against him, that they’re watching him with eyes full of judgement. They’re at his throat, ready to pounce, ready to pin all the blame on him. He can almost feel their fingers pointing in his direction, like they’ve already made up their minds. He’s the guilty one. He’s the tainted, selfish asshole who ruins everything.

That’s why Jeongguk cycles slowly, deliberately hanging back, lagging behind the rest of the group. He can’t bear to meet their eyes, to force himself into their light-hearted mood. He doesn’t feel like belonging there, right now. It feels like he’s on the outside looking in, like he’s forgotten what it means to just feel at peace.

So, he keeps his distance. It’s easier to stay where it’s quiet. Where he doesn’t have to put up an act or force himself to be present. The silence feels more like a refuge than loneliness, a momentary escape from the relentless noise in his mind.

In front of him, Eunbi cycles just as slowly. They’re both drifting behind the group, caught in their own separate orbits, not really blending with the others. Jeongguk unconsciously fixates on the steady rhythm of her bike wheels, the way they spin effortlessly, guiding her along the path. It’s a repeated, ceaseless action that serves as a temporary anchor to avoid sinking under.

Without meaning to, he finds himself mimicking their speed, gradually inching closer to her, his bike mirroring the pace of her wheels. The space between them narrows, and when he notices it, he pulls back slightly. Only to repeat the same motion moments later, closing the gap again. And again. It’s like he’s automatically attracted to the movement, which unintentionally draws him to her.

It’s Eunbi’s weary sigh cutting through the soft hum of the tires against the ground that snaps him out of that mindless trance, the one that had briefly distracted him from the darker thoughts creeping at the edges of his brain, “Can you stop doing that?”

Her voice, edged with irritation, breaks through the fog in his head. Jeongguk stills, confused, not even realising what she meant. He hums questioningly, his brows furrowing.

“I’m not in the mood for a race,” she mutters, not even looking back at him, her tone flat but tinged with weariness.

Jeongguk blinks, caught off guard, and he feels a flash of defensiveness rise up before he can stop it, “I— I wasn’t—”

“Whatever.” She cuts him off, sounding more tired than angry, “I just feel... anxious knowing you’re— there. Behind me. Please, just go ahead.”

The words strike him harder than they should, hitting him in a place he doesn’t want to acknowledge. They settle deep, mingling with guilt and frustration. Her voice, so casual yet heavy with discomfort, only stirs up the irrational anger that always seems to bubble up whenever they interact, the same one that brought them to this breaking point.

Before he can stop himself, he bites back, “Oh, now you’re the one feeling anxious.”

Eunbi’s shoulders stiffen, and her words shake with fatigue, begging once again, “Please, I don’t wanna start this again.”

“We’re not starting anything,” Jeongguk snaps back, his tone biting despite himself. Even he doesn’t believe it. It always feels like they’re on the verge of starting something, like every word is a match waiting to spark.

This time, she whips her head to look at him over her shoulder, her voice rising as her patience thins, “Oh, really? Then what is th—”

The words die in her throat as her bike catches on something, and in an instant, she’s thrown forward. She’s sent tumbling on the ground, her body skidding against the rocky surface, the harsh sound of scraping skin filling the air as her hands and knees are victim to the fall.

Jeongguk’s heart drops. The fragile tension between them shatters, and his breath catches in his throat. He doesn’t think—he just reacts. “Dal!”

Before he knows it, panic overtakes him and he’s off his bike in a flash, letting it crash behind him as he rushes to her side. His voice shakes when he kneels beside her, the name escaping him again, raw and urgent.

Eunbi is sprawled on the ground, dirt smudged across her skin, her hands trembling as they try to push her own body up. Jeongguk immediately detects the blood seeping from the cuts on her knees, then scans through her face contorted in pain. He searches her whole body for more wounds with wide, desperate eyes and he notices her palms are also bleeding.

His hands hover uselessly, unsure where to touch or how to help without hurting her more. His heart is racing, pounding in his chest as the sight of her like this rips through him. It feels like the ground has been yanked out from beneath his feet.

When he speaks again, his voice is rough with fright, “Are you okay?” It’s the first thing he manages to blurt out, while helping her turn on her back. But it’s a stupid question—he can see she’s not okay. He can see the ache written all over her features, more blood dripping from her cuts.

Eunbi doesn’t respond immediately. Her breath comes out in sharp, shaky gasps. Jeongguk can see the shock of it all settling into her body and he watches as she tries to pull herself together, her face pale. Eunbi mutters, her voice small but strained, attempting to sit up in slow movements, “I’m fine.”

Jeongguk feels himself spiralling. The terror in her eyes is reflected in his, but it seems to hit him ten times stronger than what the bruised girl has to deal with right now. His orbs widen impossibly more as the seconds go by, and when her eyes seem to mist over with tears he can’t help his own palms from framing her face and searching for possible scratches he couldn’t spot with his attentive gaze, then grasps her arms.

This isn’t how it was supposed to go. He was supposed to make her feel the hurt he carried, make her understand how deep his pain went. But now, as he looks at her, all he can think is how wrong that is. The sight of her suffering doesn’t give him any satisfaction. Only a pang deep in his chest, something ugly that he doesn’t know how to deal with.

“I’m fine,” Eunbi repeats again, this time with a little more conviction, a small, forced smile barely reaching her lips. But Jeongguk can see right through it. He hopes she can feel the intention seeping from his contact, his hold rough but warm over her goosebumps-covered skin.

The rushed moment gives no space for the resentment they had grown accustomed to these past days, and it wraps them up in a bubble from which the present is locked out. They’re outside Jeongguk’s porch, and Eunbi just fell on her hands and knees trying to learn how to roller skate. Her best friend sits beside her, taking care of her pain.

Even with their friends now hovering above them, throwing concerned questions at her, Jeongguk’s entire focus is on Eunbi. He follows her every slight movement, every shift of her body as she tries to mask the discomfort. His eyes study the way her face scrunches in pain, his heart aching in time with her every wince. And every time she looks at him, silently seeking reassurance, he’s right there, offering it in the softening of his gaze.

As the group’s voices become a chaotic hum around them, Eunbi’s low murmur slips past the noise, meant only for him, “Gguk. Maybe I don’t feel so fine.”

Her sheepish smile doesn’t reach her eyes, and the worry in her eyebrows betrays her light-hearted attempt. Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate. He immediately reacts, delicately leading her upper body down again. Seated on his heels, he lays her head on his lap and keeps her eyes on his face, his voice soothing, “It’s okay, Bee. Look at me. You’re going to be fine.”

Eunbi nods, trying to will herself into trusting him, but Jeongguk sees the uncertainty etched into every line of her face. Her eyes, wide with panic, keep darting down to her legs, where Namjoon holds them up steady, and Dahye works carefully to clean her wounds. There’s terror in her eyes every time she follows the blood trickling down her skin and notices how it keeps flowing out furiously. Jeongguk knows that look all too well. He’s seen it before, is aware of how blood unsettles her, how easily fear grips her in moments like these.

He acts instinctively, gently covering her eyes with one of his hands, the thumb subtly caressing her forehead, “Don’t look, Dal. Close your eyes, hm?”

Jeongguk can feel the hesitancy radiating from the group, their confusion practically tangible as they watch the scene unfold. They’ve seen him and Eunbi at each other’s throats, and now this tenderness feels foreign. But to him, it’s more familiar than any of the anger he’s harboured towards her. It’s like something pulling at the edges of his consciousness, reminding him of how it always has been, and should have been.

He refuses to linger on that thought now. Rational explanations and consequences can wait for later. Right now, all he cares about is making sure Eunbi is okay.

Her fall wasn’t severe, not by any medical standard, but the sight of her pale face and the cold sweat clinging to her skin keeps his nerves taut. He can't relax, not when he can still feel the tremble in her body and see the fright in her eyes. The panic washing over her features only makes him grip her a little tighter.

Namjoon breaks through the haze of Jeongguk’s focus, his voice concerned as he lowers Eunbi’s legs gently to the ground. “I need a shirt or something. Tissues won’t be enough here.”

It seems more as if he’s muttering to himself than anyone else, because he instantly moves to search in his backpack. Jeongguk is quicker, reacting without hesitation, still making sure Eunbi is shielded from the view of her knee scratched and raw with blood, “There’s one in my backpack. You can rip it if you need to.”

Namjoon pauses for a moment, looking at Jeongguk with doubt and something else he can’t quite place. But after a beat, he nods, unzipping the bag and pulling out the t-shirt.

The older boy calls Eunbi’s attention on him, and Jeongguk’s hand reluctantly slips away from her face, settling in her hair instead. Namjoon’s tone is gentle, keeping the girl grounded, “Okay Bi. I’m going to press very hard now. It’ll hurt a bit, but I need to stop the bleeding. You okay?”

Eunbi nods, her expression tight with fear but determined to stay calm. She focuses solely on Namjoon’s face, deliberately avoiding the sight of her knee, where blood continues to drip down, relentless and vivid against her skin. The second Namjoon applies pressure, she lets out a sharp squeal, her brows knitting together as soft whimpers follow, each sound striking Jeongguk with a deep sense of helplessness.

And it’s more than he can bear. Without thinking, he reaches for Namjoon’s wrist, halting his movement, his voice tight and edged with a protectiveness he can’t suppress, “Yo, you’re hurting her. Don’t press so hard.”

The other boy meets his eyes, a small scoff escaping his lips without going unnoticed, his expression steady, “I’m studying to be a doctor. I think I know what I’m doing.”

“You’re studying to be a vet, that’s not a fucking doctor.” The comment slips past him before he can do anything about it, sharper than intended, fueled by frustration and anxiety. The unnecessary weight of his words reflect in the surprised reactions from his friends and the slight arch of Namjoon’s brow.

“Bibi kinda looks like a deer. I’d say it’s quite appropriate,” Dahye’s voice slices through the small, sudden moment of tension, and it’s sweet but tinged with humour, her light-hearted tone meant to ease some of her friend’s nerves. Eunbi chuckles, light and genuine, for the first time that morning. She searches for the taller girl’s gaze and finds her crouching next to Jeongguk, close to her.

Jeongguk notices the shift in her immediately, the way her features relax, the calm that briefly washes over her. He scrutinises every subtle change, searching for the girl he’d spent years knowing. But as he looks down at her, still resting in his lap, her gaze lingering on Dahye before quickly finding his and then returning to Namjoon, he spots something that twists in his gut.

There’s a shift in her eyes. Uncertainty. It all comes rushing back. It’s not just the physical pain that’s pulling her away. The brief connection they had shared slips through his fingers. It’s like a switch has been flipped, and they’re back where they always end up, strangers that know everything about the other, even when they’re this close. The softness in her eyes is not directed at him, and it’s then replaced by doubt. The image causes an obnoxious alarm to go off in his head. He doesn’t know how to restore the moment. Doesn’t want it to end.

Frantic, he keeps combing his fingers through her hair, desperate to hold onto any remains. His movements are absentminded, mechanical almost, as if he’s afraid to let go completely. Then, the need to hear her voice becomes almost overwhelming, and his words come out soft, tentative, “You okay?”

When she only nods, he frowns. It does little to ease his mounting anxiety.

Namjoon resumes his work diligently, and Eunbi eventually sits up, the warmth of her body now gone from Jeongguk’s lap. It only leads him to further seek for a way to bridge the gap, forcing a gentle smile, “Dal, it’s not even bleeding anymore. See?”

“Oh god, is she dying? She’s gonna bleed out.” It’s Hoseok’s dramatic outburst shattering the moment and Jeongguk’s every possible attempt at mending it, as the boy crouches down to inspect the stained shirt wrapped around Eunbi’s leg with a grimace.

Eunbi, who had just started to calm down, now feels her breath quicken. She instinctively looks at Jeongguk, her eyes pleading for reassurance, but before he can offer his comfort, Hoseok’s over-the-top concern strikes again, “Bi, what’s your blood type? Just in case we might need to give you a blood transfusion.”

“What? Is he serious?” Her eyes widen in disbelief as she searches for the bloodstain but finds Jeongguk quickly pulling her shoulder to keep her still, “He’s just—”

"Actually, I once watched a tutorial on YouTube on how to do that. It’s not that hard. We just need to find someone with your same blood type and you’re set." Jimin’s sudden comment adds to the absurdity, and Jeongguk groans, his frustration mingling with the ridiculousness of the situation.

”You two, shut up and help me clean these,” rolling her eyes, Dahye puts an end to the foolish interaction and urges them to take care of the cuts on Eunbi’s palms, still unattended. Hoseok tries, he does, but he feels like facing blood this close will probably result in him fainting. He doesn’t think having another person on the verge of passing out would help. So, he calls for Taehyung to take over while he just resolves by trying to distract Eunbi, “I was just kidding, doesn’t look so bad. Where did you get this top, by the way?”

Jeongguk hesitates. He can’t focus on the banter. His anxiety is slowly eating at his insides, and he knows he should let go of whatever bubble he found himself trapped into. Should burst it with the slightest nudge of his finger, the mocking plop! sound eventually bringing him back to the present and making the sounds clearer, closer. But he can’t. He’s feverish as Eunbi seems to avoid his gaze further, only offering small smiles when he attempts to comfort her like he did while she was laying on his legs, her eyes trained on his and seemingly the only thing able to keep her stable. The chaos makes his head spin, but what’s worse is the feeling that she’s slipping away, again. Even if it was just an illusion to begin with.

Deep in the spiral of his thoughts, it takes him a moment to notice that Eunbi is being helped up by Namjoon, and that she’s holding onto his forearms while taking small, hesitant steps without applying too much pressure on the bruised knee. Namjoon hums in concern, then looks behind his shoulders, “Hey, my bike has a seat behind. I’m taking Eunbi back to the campsite.”

The words snap Jeongguk out of his daze, making him stand up and instantly pulling him back from whatever other mental trap he had fallen right into. Even if it seems to be too late now, Eunbi restoring the wall between them brick by brick, his heart kicks into overdrive, and before he even knows what he’s doing, he blurts out with more urgency than necessary, “I’ll come with you!”

The response is immediate, and not in the way he expects. All eyes land on him, doubtful, surprised. He can feel the shift in the air, a tension settling around him as his friends exchange glances, unsure of where this sudden burst of energy came from. The awkwardness of the moment seeps into his skin, and Jeongguk clears his throat, feeling the heat rise to his face, “I’ll— I’ll help take Eunbi’s bike back.”

Dahye pats him on the shoulder reassuringly, and Jeongguk is momentarily taken aback considering their earlier interaction and how she had looked at him with murderous intents. This time, she sports a soft smile, “Don’t worry, Gguk. I’ll do it.”

Jeongguk opens his mouth to argue, but Namjoon cuts in, his expression equally puzzled by the younger’s outburst, “Yeah, man. You should stay here and enjoy the day. It’s your birthday, after all.”

“But—“

”You did enough already, Gguk. Stay with the others, we’ll take care of her.” After throwing him a convincing nod, Dahye is already pulling Eunbi’s bike up and steadying it, quickly collecting her own that had stopped not too far away.

Jeongguk frantically searches for Eunbi’s gaze, for any sign that he should push further, that she needs him with her. But as they lock eyes, the weight of his earlier actions come crashing down on him, like a bucket of cold water. He let himself get carried away in a distant fantasy that doesn’t belong in his reality, that shouldn’t have unfolded in their present. It only led him to try and force his way into a situation where he wasn’t needed. No, where he wasn’t wanted. The thought stings more than he cares to admit.

He seeks for confirmation either way, hanging on the last remaining thin thread, the name slipping from his tongue again, tentative, “Are you sure, Bee?”

Eunbi hesitates, her arms wrapping around her figure, shielding herself from him. She also seems to be realising the unfamiliarity of the moment, of his sweet tone, his eyes never once hardening when they land on her. And it’s weird, because she should be accepting this version of him with much more ease. But instead, she finds support in their distance right now, and she lowers her gaze, “Yes, Jeongguk. I don’t want to bother you further.”

A small gasp fights its way up his throat, but he stops it. He tries to argue, stuttering, “You— You’re not— Whatever. Huh, call if anything happens?”

His eyes are still trained on Eunbi, but she doesn’t react. Dahye chuckles softly to try and soothe the air, “Hey, she’s okay. It’s just a few scratches. Right, Bibi?”

The oddly silent girl nods, her head up again and now meeting Jeongguk with confidence, firmly holding his gaze, the smallest remains of whatever they got caught into scattered to the ground. He mirrors her nodding, attempting to smooth some of her certainty in himself, failing, “Huh— okay. I’m just— okay. I’ll see you later, then.”

Later comes, and Jeongguk barely sees Eunbi. The night grows louder, he’s surrounded by friends, their energy infectious as they prepare for his birthday, now just a few hours away. They’re bubbling with excitement, eyes bright with anticipation, instilling that nervous buzz that always hits him just before midnight. Jeongguk smiles along with them, but his heart isn’t quite in it.

Despite the laughter and the way the campfire crackles as they pass around bottles of alcohol, Jeongguk feels distant, like he's watching it all through a fog. His friends are trying, he can tell. They’re making every effort to keep him distracted, to drown out the noise in his head with their joy. Jokes fly around the fire, and every few minutes someone checks the time, gasping excitedly as midnight draws nearer. It’s sweet, thoughtful, and he genuinely appreciates it. But no matter how much he tries to focus on them, on the present moment, his mind keeps drifting. His eyes wander, searching for Eunbi.

She’s always just out of sight. There, but not fully. Lingering at the edges, sticking close to Dahye. Laughing quietly, but never wholly engaging with the group like she usually would, despite everything. It’s just enough to not raise suspicion, but it’s clear she’s retreating. Closing herself off from the rest of them, from him.

Jeongguk tells himself he’s reading too much into it. That she’s probably still finding it hard to recover from the earlier incident, her bruises still visible. But he also knows this feeling too well. He felt it after that ride on his motorcycle, Eunbi seeking for something in his eyes, the moment so tender but broken in an instant. He’s acquainted with the slow drift, the wall quietly being rebuilt between them. Taller, sturdier.

The campfire crackles, and his friends’ voices rise around him, but he’s only half there. Jeongguk wishes he could stop his mind from racing, wishes he could just fall into the rhythm of the celebration like everyone else.

And then midnight comes. With it, a burst of chaos. His friends spring to life, hoisting him up into the air, passing him between them like a beloved trophy. Their spark is contagious, and for a moment, Jeongguk lets himself be burnt by it. The joy, the love surrounding him. They sing him happy birthday, off-key and loud, pouring drinks and making ridiculous toasts. He allows himself to be showered by that affection. It’s not perfect, but it’s enough.

As the hours drag on, the celebration settles into a steady hum. They stay by the fire, some leaning into one another, others still joking around, the alcohol loosening their tongues. The earlier buzz mellows into something softer, more intimate, and Jeongguk feels himself unwind, even a little. He laughs more freely now, the weight of the night starting to lift as he becomes wrapped up in their warmth.

Eventually, exhaustion begins to creep in. One by one, his friends start to peel away, calling it a night and retreating to their tents with promises to continue the celebration tomorrow. They ruffle Jeongguk’s hair, poking at him one last time before bidding him goodnight, the warmth of their presence lingering even as they disappear. Jimin and Taehyung make sure he’s okay before heading to their tent, only after throwing final teases laced with affection at him. Jeongguk sports a boyish grin as he watches them go.

Then it’s just him, the fire crackling softly and the bright stars above him. They whisper something to him, but he can’t decipher it. It makes his skin prickle with the chill and his eyelids shut heavier, slower with every flutter. He doesn’t hear his thoughts so strongly, now. Maybe he chooses not to. He’s been dealing with them all day long, seeking for even one of the millions to lighten him with something he actually needs. Does he even know what he needs? The ache in his heart that refuses to settle hints at a negative answer.

Jeongguk knows there’s something he wants, though. He badly wants these first hours of his birthday to be blessed by a certain someone’s wishes. He completely lost sight of her in the earlier chaos. Didn’t get to check if a smile, even a forced one, was painting her lips when midnight struck.

Perhaps it’s the universe pitying him, reserving him with a gift that could or could not change his misery. But he soon realises he’s not alone when a soft clearing of a throat breaks the silence.

He turns and finds Eunbi standing there, hesitant. She visibly struggles with what to do, her legs refusing to bring her closer to him but her brain willing to, sheepishly taking the seat next to him, “Um. Happy birthday, I guess.”

Jeongguk recognises it instantly, the way she says it, her subtle, small, playful smile not lost on him. It mirrors the same tone he’d used when he had blurted it out awkwardly at her own birthday not too long ago, the first time they’d really spoken one-on-one. A small chuckle escapes him, unsure but undeniably warm, “Huh. Thanks.”

And then there’s silence. It stretches between them, heavy but not uncomfortable, like there’s something waiting beneath it, something unspoken. The two are deep in their thoughts, words they want to say hovering on the tip of their tongues, but neither quite ready to let them loose. The crackling of the fire fills the space, the occasional pop of embers the only sound as they sit side by side, both not used to the feeling.

Jeongguk hesitates, glancing at her from the corner of his eye. “Do you… feel better?”

Eunbi hums.

“That’s good.”

“Yeah.”

It goes quiet again, air thick and pregnant with everything left unsaid. Jeongguk hesitates, his mind swirling with the urge to say something, anything, but the fear of breaking whatever fragile truce they have keeps him quiet. He wants to ask her if she’s okay — really okay — but the words feel inadequate.

Eventually, it’s Eunbi who takes a deep breath, as if drawing in strength from the fire, from the quiet of the night around them, “I— I feel like… we should talk. Do— do you want to?”

Jeongguk’s chest tightens, his heart pounding, but then he nods.

“Yeah.”

[dramarising-replacement]

Free art threads.

Made a couple of these in the past, and I'm actually considering just.. not doing them on this site anymore? I actually think I'd be better off doing free art for people on Toyhou.se instead.

Cue the rant.

-------

So I'm sure some of y'all are familiar with the "Creative Corner" in the forums, yeah? You can share random art you've made, ask people how much they'd pay for your art, that sort of thing. Then, you got the free art threads. They can be titled things like "Drawing ur dragons :33" and "bored, draw humans. bye." and you'll also see the same couple users posting in those threads, but I'm not here to name-drop lol.

The ones who I have a problem with are the ones who don't read anything. Like, at all. You could spend thirty minutes crafting a decent looking thread, filled with information (but not TOO much, just enough to answer most people's questions) and highlight the "rules" part of your thread that has specific steps to follow for free art. Wanna know what the majority of the commentors on your thread are gonna do?

"[Insert dragon image] Pls draw :)" or "[Link to a page with over 60+ dragons] choose whatever one you want.]" and that's about it. There won't be any mention of any steps you wanted them to follow, (The steps are usually very simple, too. As in, let the artist know the bare minimum idea of what you want. I'm talking about expressions here. That's literally all they'd have to do to get some scrumptious free art.) and that feels kinda invalidating, y'know?

I'm not asking the commentors to describe a whole scene for me, I'm just asking them to give me ONE LITTLE IDEA (again, an expression or maybe if they want a bust) and I'll do the rest for them, free of charge. The art that they'd be getting isn't some random disaster of a sketch, nono, it's fully-colored and shaded. It also doesn't look like something that a 5 year old drew. (No shade to people who draw like that, I was stuck like that for years.) Bro, just do a MINIMAL amount of reading and I'll draw your dragon that has an absurd amount of apparel to tje point where it hurts my eyes.

..It doesn't just stop there, either. I've also seen these people never reply to artists who have given them an absolute masterpiece of a drawing, for free. Bro. You serious? I get that some people are inactive, which I'm not bothered by. But the ones who aren't? ...Ehh, I just think you could at least thank the artist before returning to the void with your free art.

The moral of the story is; Do the bare minimum and read what matters in a post, and thank the artists who draw your dragons for free. Especially the ones who could've easily charged you 1kg+ for the work they've done.

If you're socially awkward, then cool. I get that. If you can't afford to pay artists with fictional pixel money, then go ahead and visit the free art threads. I'm not trying to gate-keep them, I literally make these threads. I just don't enjoy having people put zero effort in their requests and then never acknowledge the fact that I drew their dragon for them. Just my thoughts, everyone views things differently and that's okay!

---

Btw, I mentioned Toyhou.se because I've posted on both before, and while there are SOME similarities in the users' behavior, there's also some notable differences, too.

Common flight rising free art thread comment: [doesnt read text and adds dragon image] thanks if you draw.

Common Toyhou.se free art thread comment: [links a character, goes into a VERY in-depth explanation about how said character acts, very passionate too. Usually reads rules, too.] Thanks if you draw. (gotta stay consistent lol)

Obviously there are some differences in the sites which affect how the users act, I get that. One's a literal dragon collecting game and the other one's focused on writing and drawing characters, it's expected that one would read more than the other.

...But again, free art. Not paid, but free. Someone takes time out of their day to draw your dragon. Just give them a simple "thanks" and go on your merry way. That's all you gotta do. Lets them know their effort was appreciated, and shows that you're a nice person. Win-win.

Please man, just read. Did I mention that these threads usually have a maximum of 100 words? I don't usually type this much. But damn, this just irritated me so much.

Well, that's the end of this rant. Like I said, a few people are obviously going to disagree with some/maybe everything I've said, and that's life. This was a disorganized rant, and that's all it's going to be.

[bluiex]

Couldn’t help but write more for my superhero AU. This takes place after HotGuy and Xelqua cross paths a few more times.

—————

“I see him!” Scar whisper exclaims into his phone.

“Scar.” Cub saying, his tone a warning, “don’t do it.”

“Come on Cub,” Scar counters, “I need answers about him and I won’t get it with the others.” He quickly makes his way along the sidewalk, heading towards where he’d seen the avian perched on a building. He barely catches him jumping down onto the bustling street.

“And following this apparently powerful vigilante is a smart idea?” Cub lets out an exasperated breath, “Scar, you are unarmed and practically defenseless.”

“Exactly,” he defends, “which means I’m just a normal civilian.” Before Cub can voice any more complaints, Scar cuts him off, “he just went into a store, I’m gonna follow him. Bye.” He hangs up, quickly following Xelqua into the store.

Scar pauses as he looks around the store. At first glance it seems like a normal, albeit small, clothing accessory shop, but Scar can tell there’s something more to it. He walks down the aisles, eyes focused on the wares as he approaches the counter. He’s soon close enough to catch their conversation.

“You already do enough for us, you don’t have to,” the lady in charge says.

Xelqua scoffs, “nonsense. It’s not fair for you to pay so much extra for something so simple.”

She sighs, “it’s just the price to pay for goods outside of the city.”

“I can fly there and back within a day, that price is outrageous.”

Scar can catch Xelqua’s feathers ruffling out of the corner of his eye. He knows enough about avians to know that the vigilante is genuinely upset about this. Very different to how he is any time Scar faces him. Scar keeps his eyes focused of the wares in front of him, studying them a bit more. He reaches a hand out and grabs one of the scarfs hanging on the rack, realizing that it’s hand made.

“You don’t need to worry,” the owner insists, “I can have it handled myself.”

“It’s not an inconvenience to me, I wouldn’t be doing right by them if I didn’t help.”

Scar drops the scarf, surprised at the sheer amount of passion in Xelqua’s voice. He spares a glance over, taking in just how much the avian cares about this. This is just giving him more questions then answers.

The lady sighs, “alright, I’ll get you a list of supplies and the money to pay for it. Just don’t strain yourself to do it, okay?”

Xelqua nods, grinning, “alright. I’ll return after closing then.”

She nods, “I’ll see you then.”

The vigilante turns around, beginning to walk towards the exit, right towards Scar. He freezes when they make eye contact, and Scar thinks he’s immediately been outed. Thankfully Xelqua just gives him a nod before exiting the shop.

“I didn’t notice you enter,” the owner says, a slight change in her tone.

Scar meets her eyes and tries not to get defensive, having instantly recognized the look. The look of someone judging you but trying not to make it clear that they were. Scar just grins, “it’s fine, I was just browsing.”

“Mhm,” she hums, sounding amicable, but her gaze studying all of Scar was less so.

It’s only then that Scar realizes his outfit definitely sticks out here, basically flaunting his high class status. He can’t help but wince, he really is that oblivious, huh?

Scar looks back to the scarves, definitely intending to buy one now. It is early fall and he doesn’t own one, after all. He stiffens as his heart stutters, eyes landing on one of them. It’s plain, but a bright red color. A very familiar red. It’s nearly the exact same color as his sweater. Scar carefully picks it up, it feels like a good quality scarf, not that Scar is thinking about that at the moment, his mind is far away.

Void, he really can’t go one day without thinking of Grian, can he?

Scar takes in a deep breath, trying to keep his composure, it wouldn’t do much good to fall apart here. He turns to face the shop owner, “I’d like to buy this one.”

A RED SCARF QoQ catch Grian seeing him later, or another day wearing that Scar and just knowing what it means

OUGHGSIUHGFDStgf

[nyoomsy]

IS PARADOX LIVE THE ANIMATION GOING TO BE THE CATALYST THAT BRINGS ME BACK TO TUMBLR?????

i usually blab about these things with my irl friends but they don’t share my interests and i’m starting to fear i’m being too annoying 💀 SO. i figured i should return to the place where i used to be annoying about the things i like~

i don’t plan on making more ranty posts like this, i’ll just mainly be reblogging and quietly annoying in notes (my beloved feature of this site) i just wanted to give a fair warning and kinda explain myself with a bit of ranting heehee. sorry in advance 🫶

i’ve been a (casual? semi-casual??) fan since the time in-between JUSTICE and PRIDE and just seeing how much this franchise has grown just makes me so EMOTIONAL!!!

episode 1 made me F E R A L .

I REALLY WASNT EXPECTING SUCH GOOD QUALITY. AND 3D MODELS???? I WAS SCREAMING AND CRYING AND PAUSING AND REWINDING SO MUCHHH.

THE SOUNDTRACK. THE REFERENCES. THE FORESHADOWING. THE P A I N . THAT ONE KANATA FRAME LIKE FUCK OFFFF (im far behind in the drama so idk the exact situation bUT STILL.) AND POOR SHIKIIIII :((((((((((((

i couldn’t help but freak out and feel petty with all the BURAIKAN stuff tho, like we knew so little about them and now there’s so many bits about them thrown in episode one 🫠 gahhh

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

quick info about my relationship with the franchise incase whoever reads this is also into it (<-just an excuse to be more annoying since i’m already talking about it and have never done so publicly because i do acknowledge it has its issues)

• i keep up with the music releases but as stated i’m behind in the drama (last thing i listened to was VIBES part 1. i plan to catch up before the anime surpasses that point)

• i don’t vote cause collecting points seems like a hassle really (although i feel regret when the group i’m rooting for looses haha 🥲) (i tend to root for the songs i like better/fits the theme best)

• i’m a seiyuu fan and that highly contributed to me getting into paradox live. also the fact there’s utaite involved of course. (AmBitious!!! was my gateway and slowly realizing Murase Ayumu and 96Neko were singing together blew my MIND!!!) (pararai is also responsible for opening my eyes to Kajiwara Gakuto’s appeal hehehe)

• favorite group: BAE (if you couldn’t tell from the above) but as the groups and characters evolved i’ve come to love them all fairly equally (except a few which you could probably guess💀)

• favorite song by each group:

BAE - EmBlem!!! TCW - Shooting Arrows cozmez - Hit em up (i guess? i dont have a clear czmz fav) AKYR - ROWDIEZ -悪漢奴等 Wanted Vibes- BURAIKAN - BURAIKAN is Back VISTY - BE A STAR AMPRULE - Do as I say 1Nm8 - S∀G∀ (honorable mention: Itsuki’s 2nd part in BOH) GokuLuck - Trigger (Ryoga and Kenta’s parts win me over)

• songs i must mention: F△Bulous, BErmud△ Tri△nglE, Mercy On Me, Life is Beautiful, My Sweetest Love, The Sound of Voltage (stopping myself here before i list the whole discography)

• i watched the 1st stage play to fill the void of the inaccessible first Dope Show and i also watched the BAE & TCW show (for Kiyama Ryu) but that’s it… (maybe i’ll return if Takenaka Ryohei is casted in a 2nd gen group 👀) Fight For The PRIDE and Here We Go are certified bangers though

• i watched Dope Show 2 and 3 but cried hard over 3 i bought the night show but then i found out the matinee setlist had Shooting Arrows 😭😭😭 (if they do a 4th and decide to free stream 3 like they did 2 i PRAY it’s the matinee show 🙏 I WANNA SEE TERASHIMA JUNTA SHINE AS SHIKI. for 4 i’ll wait to see the setlist before buying a ticket)

OKAY BYE.

[robynlilyblack]

Like a little puppy

Sirius Black x fem! Slytherin! reader

[Requested - see request here]

Summary: Sirius gets teased by his friends over his relationship with y/n

Warnings: kissing, marauders teasing Sirius relentlessly, Sirius being whipped for the reader

A/n: 0.7k words, I had fun writing this little one, slight Wolfstar implied in the past

Navigation | Sirius Black Masterlist

Until you came along Sirius felt like there was this void in him that needed to be filled, his whole life he never really felt true unconditional love from family or previous relationships he had been in and by relationships they were never more than a couple of weeks, mostly flings. Never would he have thought that hole would be filled by a Slytherin but he couldn’t have been more in love with you if he tried and his friends loved to tease him about it

“Godric pads she’s just gone to the bathroom” James chuckles as Sirius watches the entrance of the courtyard for your return

“I think its sweet…” Remus remarks causing the other two to tilt their heads as Sirius smiles at the compliment “…he’s giving a new name to the term lost puppy”

Sirius groans although it comes out as more of whine as they start to chuckle at him, even more so as he lights up seeing you walk back only to pout when he sees you get caught up in talking with your friend

“Still can’t believe out of everyone to tame the ex-ladies’ man it was a Slytherin” James shakes his head in disbelief

“Hey I’m still a lady’s man” Sirius snaps back before glancing back as he hears your laugh, expression softening “I just have one lady I love more than any other”

“Okay now that was sweet” Remus smiles

“Yeah a lady that’s way out of your league”

Sirius goes to argue but can’t knowing that fact is 100% true. He was too busy thinking of some kind of comeback to notice you sit back down next to him

“Hey baby” you kiss his cheek “Hi guys” you smile at the other

“Hey y/n” they greet you

Sirius turns to you raising his eyebrows at you to signal if you can hold him, you smile opening your arms as he buries himself into your chest. The boys snigger at this friend while you give them a look that tells them to shut it as you play with your boyfriend’s hair.

“Missed you” he murmurs into your chest so only you can hear “Miss you to baby” you whisper back kissing the top of his head

“Okay I have to head these NEWT’s wont study themselves” you try to move away forgetting Sirius has his head on your lap pouting “Sorry baby”

He sits up “I’ll see you later” looking at you with his big puppy eyes, how could you ever say no to him

“Of course, sweetie” you grab his face as you give him a quick kiss goodbye “Bye guys” you wave to the other marauders as you walk off

Sirius watches you leave, sighing as he leans his head on the tree behind him.

“Your so whipped” James teases

“Am not” he defends himself

“Oh, mate you so are you’re like a little baby” the boy scrunches up his face as he makes a pinching motion

“Or puppy, that’s more fitting” Peter adds, earning a pat from James

“Yeah a like a little puppy that’s perfect Wormtail” Peter smiles in pride

“She’s made you a big softie” Remus adds

“Seriously guys fuck off” James and Remus look at one another still smiling as they watch Sirius huff, folding his arms

“Okay but siriusly we are happy for you man” Remus cringes at James overused pun as Peter giggles

“Really” the raven-haired boy eyes him

“Yeah we’re only teasing you because we love you”

“James is right, we’re actually really proud you’ve settled down” Remus nods giving his friend a sincere look

“Not to mention how happy you are” Peter adds smiling, the other two nodding in agreement

“Or that you bagged an older girl that looks like her, like well-done man I know you were a flirt but she’s a 10”

“She’s pretty amazing isn’t she” Sirius smiles to himself as he thinks of you “Enough teasing?”

“Oh, padsy paddy pads” James gives his shoulder a shake “You know we can never promise that, especially after all those years you teased me about my Lilypad”

“Not to mention the teasing you gave Remus last year for the couple months he crushed on you” Peter adds earning a hit from Remus “What?”

“We said we would never speak about that again. That is true though, payback time” he smirks raising his eyebrows at Sirius

[hermitscapes]

Mind Electric

Mumbo x Reader wc: 2381 fluff

Mumbo is far from being anything like Grian, even after years of knowing him. Of course, a few things have rubbed off on him: pulling goofy pranks, looking at builds with an analytical eye, staring into the deep null of the void until he could perceive a whole nother entity staring right back at him, chewing on pen caps. Just little things, really. He didn’t take much notice.

You’d been watching the ever changing man for a while now. Given, you didn’t have much else to watch, but since he frequented the massive hole during his nightly trips, you figured you might as well pay attention. Sometimes he would be there with frighteningly thin skin and a frighteningly thick skull, other times, he would be there with uncannily rough, pink skin and brain dead eyes. Despite his appearance, whenever you felt eyes on you, you stared right back and talked to him. And he just stared back stupidly, not understanding a thing.

It isn’t until you scream at him from the void that he blinks out of his daze and listens for once. You really learned commonspeak for this fool? What’s done is done, you suppose.

Mumbo peers into the void, a mix of confusion, fear, and curiosity furrowing his eyebrows. “H… Hello? Have I just gone crazy or is there someone speaking to me? Moon God? Oh, that would--- Pfft, the moon god would not be down. That’s ridiculously stupid.”

The tension is cleared, and he’s sat in the loose grass on the edge of the hole chuckling to himself.

“I’m no god, I’m just kind of… here,” you say, more to yourself than him, not expecting him to hear you unless you shout.

“Oh, that’s not concerning at all. Ehm, are you stuck? Do you need help? I don’t know what to say to a talking hole.”

You laugh, prompting him to huff with amusement.

“I’m not the hole itself. I mean, a hole is just empty space, and I’m not just air. I think.” You look at your hands. “I can’t really tell you what I am. I mean, I can, I just won’t.”

“Ah, so you’re making the conscious decision to just not say anything. Great. This has to be a dream.” He pinches his own cheek, then sticks his tongue out and bites it. “Oh. It is very much not a dream. My tongue hurts now.”

“Hah. I’ll give you this much.” You tell him your name and explain you’ve always been there, and always will be there. He just has to be willing to listen.

“So, if I’ve understood this right, I can just scream your name and listen really hard, and you can just talk to me?”

“If the connection is strong enough. Where there is emptiness I may reside. Hm. It’s nearly morning. Off you go, now. You don’t want to be caught crouching over the hole like that; your friends will take the opportunity.”

“You---” he laughs--- “You make a very good point. Okay, if I come back tomorrow night, you’ll be here?”

“Yeah. I haven’t anywhere else to be.”

“That is… Very fair. Okay, bye, then?”

He hovers at the edge waiting for a goodbye, but when he goes ten seconds without a response, he backs away.

[✘]

It’s not long before he returns. The sky is still warm with the sun’s fading light as he approaches the edge. He’s cautious and slow, unsure of his movements.

“Ehm… Hello?” He calls out your name a few times before you respond.

“Yes, I’m here. I just thought it was amusing to watch you try and ‘listen harder.’ I’m not sure how tensing your body up like that helps your listening, but to each their own.”

“Ah, okay, so I’ve been waffling about up here in full view. Great, no that’s great.”

“Heh, you’re certainly an interesting specimen.

His voice is high with amusement. “You say that as you’re sat, in the void, talking to said interesting specimen.”

“Fair enough. So, why have you come here? Just to talk?”

“I mean, to be fair, I figure you’d get lonely down there. To be frankly honest, I’m not exactly sure. I just kind of decided I’d come back, and now here I am.”

A momentary silence sits between you two before he speaks up again.

“I do realise I’ve not introduced myself. Ehm, my name is Mumbo Jumbo, uh, I’ve been on this server since season 2. I do a lot of redstone, that’s for sure.” He laughs at his own awkward introduction.

“Yeah, I got that last part, considering you were the cause of those flying carts in my sky.”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. I don’t assume it’s a very uh, sightly… sight.”

“I don’t mind. I don’t see much down here at all. Anything is welcome,” you say lightly.

“Oh, right. I don’t suppose you get many views down there. Uhm, oh! I’ve got… this poppy! Aha!”

He holds out a red flower, layered red petals sitting in a bulb at the end of a thorny stem. He’s too busy laughing about his own little thing to notice your silence.

He does, however, notice when you speak up.

“Mumbo Jumbo, I like this poppy.”

It takes him by surprise. “Wait, have you really not seen one before?”

“I’d remember something like this. The places I can go don’t have things like that.”

“Hm… I’ll be right back!”

He rushes away, running off and kicking loose dirt into the void. When he returns, he’s got a stuffed backpack slung around his shoulder. His nose scrunches up as he aims an ender pearl down, landing on the bedrock just a few blocks away from the beginning of the void.

“Okay, I’ve got a lot of stuff here to show you, I think you’ll like it.”

You’re blocked by the atoms of the air; you cannot reach up and sit next to him. You try, anyway, shaking the void and sending pulses into your mind. Existing so close to the hole was pushing it enough.

The ache goes away quickly as Mumbo Jumbo pulls out a small cube with a full bush of poppy-looking flowers frozen inside. He crushes the cube and the bush expands, growing fluffy yet spiky with flowering petals.

“Look! It’s a rose bush! Okay, so I don’t really know much about these, I kind of just realised that, but I instinctively grab the two talls. I don’t talk to the guy, but Etho always says to get your two talls! Oh, right, Etho is this redstone god---”

And off he goes. He doesn’t stop talking throughout the night, and you’re more than happy to listen. He tells you about his servermates---some more familiar than others---and an assortment of blocks and plants and even a small little pink critter in a bucket of water he calls an axolotl.

“I never really realised it before, but man, you can just look at something for a long time and really take in all its details. I mean, I never put much thought into a cornflower until now!”

You chuckle. “Welcome to my world.” ‘It’s not as bad now that you’re here,’ you add in your head.

You don’t mention the sun reaching its peak in the sky above you, letting him continue about a man named Scar and his wondrous creations. You’re at least a little familiar with the man, having caught him several times as he fell into the void, always perishing.

“Mumbo Jumbo---”

He laughs. “It’s just Mumbo.”

There’s a smile in your voice as you speak up again. “Mumbo, do come back again.”

“Absolutely.” And he stares into the void until he’s sure he won’t be able to catch a sight of you and then he’s off. He leaves a poppy on the edge of the bedrock. Whether intentional or not, you appreciate it.

The next time he visits, he leaves a blue orchid. And then a honey block, and then a blue axolotl caged in glass just at the level of the bottom bedrock.

It entertains you for the time Mumbo is gone, and as you watch it swim around and float in the water, you realise it can see you through the void. Mumbo doesn’t return for a long while, and you busy yourself by playing with the axolotl and finding companionship with it. For the record, you name it Muppy.

Before long, he’s back to visiting often and talking with you for hours and hours on end. You find yourself dry sometimes, but he never seems to mind talking for the both of you.

And then, he’s gone for a long, long time.

You don’t think Mumbo realises just how long it’s been; he always arrived at night and stayed for a day or two, but night had been skipped for weeks on end.

Loneliness hadn’t been an issue for you, never knowing anything else, but the sudden emptiness had hit you harder than you thought possible. In desperate attempts to find company other than little Muppy, for the first time, you leave your spot in the void of the overworld.

The emptiness of the void of the netherworld fits just fine for you, a test you had wanted to save for Mumbo. Impatience swarmed you, though, a young entity succumbing. The nether void---the roof, as Mumbo called it---had been much more populated than the void of the overworld.

As you explored, that much was clear, massive machines and farms having been built in the deep red expanse. Even with the buildings spaced out, the place was much nicer of a place than the overworld void. Shades of red floated in the air, and while there was no direct source of light, the place was much brighter than the darkness you’d been living in.

It was a pleasant change, and you let the warmth of it envelop you. Time moved quicker there. Not literally, it just felt like it. You could waste your time inspecting the redstone works the players had created and trying to figure it out for yourself. It was difficult without fiddling with the mechanics for yourself, not wanting to mess up any of the work they’d done, but you still tried your best.

It was on the nether roof where you next met Mumbo, too. He was flying overhead and had only stopped at the sight of you. He didn’t realise it was you for a good several minutes, and you let him inspect and question you without giving him an answer.

“I should tell Xisuma about this.”

“Boo.”

He shrieks, not expecting to hear anyone else’s voice but his. He puts a hand over his chest as he pants. “Oh my god, why did---oh god, that scared me so bad.”

“I can tell.”

As his breathing steadies, a few things click in his head and his eyes shoot to yours. “What are you doing here? How did you get here?”

You shrug, knowing he can see the gesture for the first time. “It’s empty up here. A place beyond the bedrock. And for some reason, you crazy folks settled up here. At least partially.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you could come up here? I wish I could’ve seen you sooner!”

“I didn’t know,” you reply simply. “I also figured you wouldn’t have cared to see me at all.”

“Why’s that? You look… actually, really nice,” he admits softly, and even through the maroon tinted fog, you can tell his face glows red.

“I’m no monster, did you expect a beast of some sort? I’m just a player like you.”

“..Are you? Are you really? Because I feel like you aren’t.”

You laugh. “No clue.”

[✘]

The first time you learned you could interact with one another was during one of your nether meetings. They became much more common, and nearly every time you met was on the nether roof since then. Every few days, you’d meet up to talk. He’d bring a plethora of things to talk about or show you, which led to him testing his redstone contraptions up there with you, ranting through his thought process.

And then, he brought a blanket and a woven basket and a glass bottle with flowers in it. He spread the checkered blanket onto the bedrock, a thin cushion for the two of you to sit on. Yellow and blue flowers sit in the glass bottle at the centre, tinted red from the shades surrounding it. You take a seat beside Mumbo and peek into the woven basket. An assortment of finger foods in little containers are stacked on top of each other.

“You, ehm, mentioned that you technically could eat, you just didn’t have to… So… Uh…”

You send Mumbo a tiny smile, assuring him. “Thank you.”

The two of you pulled out the containers and peeled open the lids. Carefully crafted mini sandwiches, fruit platters, cookies, and sliced corn bread lie in each of the containers. There’s four water bottles tucked into the side of the basket, as well.

You grab a water bottle and a mini sandwich on a toothpick, and he does the same. Clinking the water bottles together jokingly, you begin eating for the first time in a very, very long time. It’s nice to taste again, and a blissful smile lines your face.

You set your water bottle down and lean back on one arm picking out foods with the other. And then, lost in watching your peaceful smiles and expressions of joy, Mumbo places his hand on top of yours.

It takes a moment for you to register the feeling of his skin against yours, but when you do, you glance towards him and grin, calming his nerves completely and keeping him from panicking.

You scoot closer to him until your shoulders are touching and continue on like normal, asking him about the progress on the gigabase. And he smiles giddily and excitedly tells you about all the pranks that have happened and his plans for the future.

And you can tell he’s still internally panicking about the closeness of you two, but he’s so excited about it that he can’t help blurting out a million words per minute. He’s just really happy to be next to you.

[angelguk]

bye here's this very silly gamer boy jungkook and astrology oc drabble that never left google docs until today >_<

Jeongguk doesn’t understand a single thing you’re rambling about. He got lost about three houses and four planets ago, the grin tugging at his lips bordering delirious as he watches your mouth run with a glow in his warm brown eyes. He likes the way you get when you’re explaining something you love; words flying fast and the franticness gripping your gaze somewhat adorable. You’re relatively quiet most of the time, immersed in your head until Jeongguk tugs you back out into reality. But not now - you might just set a record for fastest speaker ever if you keep talking at the pace you’re going at.

“Yeah, so, those are just the basics. You can really get into your chart by looking at your aspects as well but that might confuse you.” You finish it off with a small smile, tugging your knees under your chin like you’re waiting for his approval. He nods, slow, pretending he got some of what you said. He didn’t get anything, and maybe you can see that from the distance in his eyes. He feels somewhat guilty when you squint at him in accusation. “Did you even understand what I was saying?”

Jeongguk shrugs, shifting to tuck your pillow into his arms. The fabric kind of smells like you and it sends a tiny thrill through him. “Not really. But it’s interesting!”

“Interesting…” you return. And then your leg shoots out to knock him on the shin.

“Ow!” There’s a hand instantly cradling his leg. You didn’t kick him hard at all but Jeongguk’s always been one for dramatics.

The scoff you let out is void of remorse. “Why are you whining? I listen to all you elaborate gameplays all the time and I actually try to understand them.”

That’s a lie. You don’t most of the time. Your gaming strategy was just “Kill them all!” and if that didn’t work you opted for smashing all the buttons at once and then acting surprised when you’re the first one to die.

He can’t help but cock his head in disbelief, propping himself up on his elbows as you pout at him. “Are you really going to say that lie outloud and believe it?”

“Yes,” you retort, slipping off your bed. “I am.”

“What? Is that because your moon is venus and your Aquarius is cardinal? Or whatever,” he huffs, collapsing back on your comforter. He knows you're going to retrieve your tarot card set. How he ended up with an occult astrology obsessed girlfriend when he was an engineering major with a gaming addiction didn’t make sense to anyone—including himself.

“No,” you whine. Your tarot deck hits the bed sheets with a loud thump. “As an Leo sun with a Taurus moon, I tend to be very stubborn and unwilling to admit when I’m wrong.”

“Or,” he shoots back, “You’re just stubborn. You know, nothing to do with the stars.”

You smack his chest. “It’s everything to do with the stars, Jeongguk.”

“Ow! Ow! Okay! Relax with the violence, woman.”

“Refer to me like that again and you won’t have any balls by tomorrow morning,” you murmur, swiftly shuffling the deck with your nimble fingers.

He whistles low, idly gazing at your ceiling. “Why’s that? Venus in Retrograde?”

“Jeongguk.” He twists to meet your gaze. “My Venus is in Aries and it’s not in Retrograde. That’s a completely different concept.”

“What? So what am I? An Aries rising? Taurus Venus? Capricorn and Mercury in the 5th house? Squidward in my 2nd House? Spongebob in my Uranus?”

He loves you but astrology really sounds like horse shit majority of the time.

“You’re a Leo moon with a superiority complex and you need to shut-up. I’m trying to do a reading.”

“A reading on what?” He’s up again, moving so that his crossed legs bump against yours. “And why would I have a superiority complex?! I’m not a Leo—aren’t I a Virgo or something?”

“I said,” you sign, shuffling the cards harder. “You’re a Leo moon—moon, Jeongguk.”

“What the hell does that mean?” He’s suddenly invested. There’s no way in hell he has a superiority complex. “And what are you even doing a reading on?”

“If you were listening,” you retort, eyes narrowed when you glance up. “You would know what that meant. And, I’m doing a reading on how can I get my annoying boyfriend to shut-up."

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Hi! I saw prompt #196 and damn, I couldn't stop thinking about Andy 🥴

I hope this isn't too out there hahaha.

Work It Out

Warnings: implied noncon, cheating, two faced Andy

You hate everything. It feels like no matter what you do, you can't win. You're starving, you're sore, and exhausted. And the scale hasn't ticked a single number down. You were trying everything those fad diets and fitness guides told you. You just couldn't seem to shed the extra pounds.

Your days at the gym grew no less uncomfortable as you look around and see enviable bodies, younger, older, all of the above. Every body that wasn't yours.

You turn up the belt until you're jogging, almost too fast until you're sure you'll fall on your face. You try to meter your pants and keep from hanging your mouth open, instead puffing through your nose. 

You wipe your forehead and feel a trickle of sweat on your lip as you brace the metal handbars and keep your feet moving. You bat away droplets with your lashes and flick away that on your lip with your tongue. You shakily pull on your shirt to air out the dampness and nearly stumble.

“Did you just look me up and down and bite your lip?" The deep voice startles you and you clasp tightly to the machines as your soles crash down clumsily, "Cause if you did, we’re having sex right now.”

You saw the man every day as you went to the same treadmill. You would guess he's 40, maybe older, and in peak shape for one half his age. He leans an elbow on your machine as you gape at him and stammer at how he arches a brow. Your grip slips and you go hurtling back as you fall to your knees and fly off the back of the machine.

"Oh shit," you hear him as you catch yourself on your hands and gasp for air, muscles shaking, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to break your concentration."

You hear a beep and the belt stills before he nears you. He kneels down and touches your shoulder as you lift your head.

"I think… um, I misread the situation, I thought you were looking at me," he chuckles nervously, "are you okay?"

"I'm fine," you sit back on your heels and rub your hip, "just mortified."

"I really didn't…" he pauses and drops his hand from your shoulder, "wow, I should be embarrassed. These last two weeks I thought… well I thought you were looking at me and, geez, that guy on the lift machine must have thought I was winking at him."

"I don't know--" you touch your chest as you catch your breath, "what?"

"Can't blame a guy for trying," he shrugs and stands up, offering his hand, "get a bit carried away watching you… that sounds weird, I'm sorry."

You take his hand and let him pull you up. You nod and smile awkwardly. "I'm flattered," you say thinly, "but… what would your wife think?"

You let go of his hand and look pointedly at his ring. He gives a tight-lipped smile and sucks his teeth, "separated… I just, uh, feel naked without it."

"Oh, sorry," you cringe, "that sounds, uh, complicated."

"Not really, just had to go to a new gym so I didn't see her with the other man," he scoffs, "that's too much information, huh?"

"You know, you just watched me land on my ass, I wouldn't worry about it," you wave him off, "but uh…" you try not to let your eyes drift but they do. He's fit and fine and you can't imagine any woman cheating on him but that ring was a problem, "look, I do mean it, it's flattering but I'd rather wait until you can take the ring off. It's… not something I wanna step in, you know?"

"Makes sense," his smile fell, "so…" he wiggles the ring off and tucks it into his pocket.

"Um," you look around but no one else seems to notice you or the man.

"Oh uh that was just an awful line," he shakes his head, "we can start with drinks."

You squint at him and bite your lip. His eyes follow and you make yourself stop.

"That's so hot," he says, "you sure you weren't looking at me?"

"You sure you were looking at me?" You counter, "uh, a drink sounds… fine but I might stick to water, as you saw I'm not great on my feet."

"Sure, I gotta finish my cool down but do you know The Frog?"

"Yeah, just down the block," you fill in.

"I'll be there at…" he checks his apple watch, "seven? Can I expect you?"

"Mhmmm," you nod nervously, half disbelieving and half humiliated.

"Andy," he offers his name and his hand. You shake it and give your own. 

He winks and you try to hold a smile. You watch him go back to the weight bench before you retrieve your water bottle and retreat. You could hit the shower before the bsr and at least save a little face.

💪

You walk into the bar before you can lose your nerve. You look around in the dim light, certain this is a cruel trick. That man could not be interested in you. Even if he was halfway a divorce, it was too good to be true. You won't be surprised if you're stood up.

"Hey," you see the wave of the hand and hear the half shout. 

You let out your breath and cross to the tall table in the corner. You smile and climb up on the stool across from Andy. He returns the gesture and looks over as a server approaches.

"Are we finally ready?" She asks sweetly.

"Stella," he orders and nods at you. You order a diet coke and the server smiles at Andy before she walks away. 

"I hope you weren't waiting long," you say. 

"Nope," he says coolly, "you know, one drink couldn't hurt. It might ease the sting a little from earlier too."

"Hmm," you grin sheepishly, "there's not enough gin in the world for that."

"Oh, a gin girl, I'll keep that in mind," he smirks, "so how was the rest of your work out?"

"A work out," you scoff, "I thought exercise was supposed to be relaxing."

"Certain kinds are more effective," he lifts a brow and you roll your eyes at the flirty remark.

"Wow, you're such a cheeseball," you giggle.

"I'll take it," he says, "I usually get meatball, all brawn no brain."

"That's yet to be determined," you jibe and sit back as the server returns with your drinks and you thank her. 

"No pressure," he says dryly, "none at all."

You laugh again. This Is easier than you expect. You've never been the smoothest and he was probably the best looking guy you ever talked to. No guy with his eyes and his jawline saw you past the skinny blondes and stunning insta models.

You lose track of time and finish your drink. You excuse yourself to the bathroom and only then realise how Andy's progressively shifted his stool around so he's right beside you. You need to take a breath. 

You feel lighter when you come out from the bathroom and pass another woman on her way in. You slow as you get to the bar as you find Andy with his phone to his ear. You near quietly, hoping not to disturb his call.

"No, I'm still at the office," he says, "yeah… no I forgot to grab the dry cleaning, Laurie. Tomorrow, okay? Right, bye, hon."

He hangs up and you realise he's lying to the woman on the phone and you. You brush by his seat and grab your purse from the back of the chair where you slung it.  He flinches as you pull out your wallet.

"So Laurie, that your wife?" You pick through your bills, "doesn't sound like you're separated."

"Woah, come on, let me explain," he tries to push your wallet away and you toss a five on the table, the tip would be as much as the drink itself.

"Explain what?" You rolls your eyes and scowl, "I'm so stupid."

You storm away and hear him shuffle before his stool wobbles and his steps follow you out into the night. He catches your arm and pulls you back before you can hail a cab.

"Look, I…" he drops his head, "we may as well be separated okay? She hasn't touched me in over a year, I sleep on the couch in my office… all we do is fight."

"So? Either get counselling or cut ties, but I'm not fucking with a married man--"

"I… I'm waiting until my son goes to college," he says desperately as you shrug him off.

"And in the meantime what? You pick up fat girls at the gym to fill the void--"

"You're the only girl--"

"Besides your wife," you spit, "wow, I feel special."

You turn and try to raise your hand. It's caught in mid air and you're pulled back by the back of your shirt. You look around but you're too far down for the bouncer to see you and there's no one else passing by. 

Andy's thick arm snakes around your neck and his bicep pushes your chin up. He drags you around the corner and forces you toward an SUV. You bring your feet up and hit the side with your soles.

"The fuck?"

"Please, don't act like I'm not doing you a favour, honey," he gropes your ass as you struggle with him.

"Get off," you grunt as his hand slips over your hip and he turns you as he rips the door open. 

"Shhh," he pushes you up into the back seat and you slip down on the floor.

You push yourself up and huff on your stomach. You reach to the other door as he climbs in behind you and the doors click as you grab the handle. He straddles your ass as his hand covers your mouth and he bends over you. 

He presses his cheek to your temple and hushes you again. You see the shadows of pedestrians and their voices as they pass just outside. You murmur into his palm and claw at the door helplessly. Their steps fade into the distance as Andy grinds his crotch against your ass.

"Honey," he growls through his teeth, "I know you were looking at me…"

[pettyprocrastination]

maybe it’s because of how i drew him but I like to think that din sees the collective in the mirrors sometimes. somewhere just out of his peripheral vision …in a dark corner or the sliver of an open door… or maybe they’re right in front of him. in his reflection that doesn’t look quite right. like it has a mind of its own.

he only ever gets one good look. and it’s when his wife is getting ready one night. he lovingly presses his lips against her cheek, fending off her gentle pushes as she says

“you’ll ruin my makeup”

“doesn’t matter. you’re beautiful.”

between her giggles and his sweet kisses, he spots it.

there. in the vanity. the soulless black eyes and gaping dripping maw pouring over his lover’s neck ready to devour her whole

okay I went overboard BYE

HI HI I LOVE YOU AND YOU'RE MAGNIFIFCENT ART AND BEAUTIFUL THOUGHTS pls tag me when you draw more haunted din cause it fuels my little lizard brain, even though I worship all your art. Anywhoo

~~~~~~~

Din had never enjoyed his reflection to begin with.

It wasn’t something he hated. But it wasn’t something he was...used to, either.

He was a man sworn to his creed. Day in and day out spent hidden under beskar even to you until you became his wife. Anytime he had his helmet off, it was a necessary act that was done quickly and promptly followed by his adorning himself in armor again.

But still, there were some moments where he looked at himself in the dim fresher mirror and felt as if he were looking at a stranger. He didn’t think of himself as handsome, nor homely. But whenever he found himself looking back at his own eyes, he felt the need to look away.

Now more than ever.

When you had returned from the market, the ship was bathed in darkness. Even the reserve light, which would have the entire ship lit a deep crimson. But all you came home to was nothingness.

Out of instinct, you slip your blaster from the holster at your hip before calling out into the darkness.

“Din?”

You find the control panel, blindly feeling against the wall until you feel a plastic knob sticking out from the wall and push it down.

When your eyes finally adjust to the sudden ascension to brightness, you find yourself staring at your husband curled into himself in the cot, knuckles caked with dried blood and glass shards at his feet.

“Din-” you quickly make your way to him, not caring of glass crunching under your boots as you cross the room and hold his face in your hands. “C’yare, look at me. What happened? What’s wrong?”

His eyes, bloodshot and drained, flick up to you.

“I can’t.” he softly uttered. “I see them everywhere.”

You see a faint outline in dust on the wall, of where a mirror used to be.

So that’s what this was about. The spirits.

“I see them in the mirror.” he panted. “In the damn fresher door, even in my armor. My fucking armor.” His foot collided with the beskar helmet that had sat discarded on the floor, and sent it flying across the room. “They won’t stop and I can’t get away from them! Everywhere I look-”

His words died in his throat as you pulled him to your chest.

In all your years of knowing him, of fighting by his side and staring death right in the face, you had never seen the Mandalorian so terrified.

It was the week before when you had woken up to find the fresher mirror covered with a blanket.

When you prodded him of it, he caved in and told you.

“I don’t...I don’t see myself anymore. I only see them. Or-or I see them in me, I don’t know I just-” His hands curled into a fist so tightly they shook, before he let them fall limp at his side. “-I just can’t look at them.”

You understood. Because of that, each morning you uncovered the mirror as you brushed your teeth, and covered it once more when you were done. But now, the same mirror lay in shards around you both as he took trembling breaths against your body.

“I’m sorry.”

“No-” you tucked your hands under his chin, pulling him from the iron grip hug he had you so you could look him in the eyes. “Don’t you dare apologize Din Djarin. This isn’t your fault, okay?”

He nodded numbly. Your husband leaned into your grasp as you stroked his stubbled cheek.

“We are going to figure this out, just like we always do. As a team, alright love?”

He didn’t say anything. All he could do was shut his eyes and savor the way you held him like he was something precious, and pretend he hadn’t seen the black eyes and gaping voided mouth in the visor of him helmet across the room just seconds before.

[mykey-and-bobby-koopa]

06: Bluish Feelings

| Versión en español |

| First | Previous | Next |

_______________

Ludwig and Mykey stay in Kamek's classroom. The young blue-haired man goes to the door and locks it. After that, he calmly walks to a chair and sits down, crossing his legs and resting his chin on one of his arms. Mykey for his part grabs a chair and sits across from his classmate, putting his hands on his knees and leaning forward a bit.

Ludwig: Okay, what do you need, Mykey?

Mykey looked into space for a bit with a slight doubtful expression and then looked at the boy with the bushy blue hair.

Mykey: Well I wanted to talk about Jr.’s exam, why did you change it?

Ludwig seemed unsurprised by that statement, so he gave a small sigh and proceeded to reply.

Ludwig: Because I wanted to, that's all.

Mykey looked at him with surprise mixed with strangeness, he did not expect such a response

Mykey: and… done? Is that all?

Ludwig: That's right. If you were expecting a more elaborate or in-depth answer, I'm afraid you flew too high.

Mykey: Ludwig... I know it bothered you a bit that I "took" your place, but I think you overdid it a bit, at least with Bowsy.

Ludwig: Like I told you before: we all get along that way, it's no big deal.

Mykey looked a little to the side as he doubted that statement.

Ludwig: If you have a problem with that, I recommend that you…

Mykey: (interrupting) no, I have no problems… (sighs) you're right, it's not that big of a deal, forgive my exaggeration (smiles tenderly)

At that sudden smile, Ludwig is somewhat confused.

Ludwig: You're weird, have they told you?

Those words cause Mykey to be surprised, opening his eyes and mouth wide, and he stares at Ludwig for a long time, which makes the blue-haired boy a little uncomfortable.

Ludwig: w-what?

Mykey takes his lost in his thoughts for a few moments. Ludwig, for his part, tries to get his attention by talking to him, but Mykey doesn't react. He doesn't either when Ludwig moves his palm across his gray eyes, until Ludwig snaps his fingers at him. So, Mykey gets out of the trace of him and tries to look away a little confused.

Ludwig: what's wrong with you?

Mykey: no, it's nothing, f-forgive me… I… I was thinking about something, it doesn't matter. Thanks for your time, I have to go with the guys now, well, see you later, Luddy… I-I mean, Ludwig!! (nervous laugh) well, bye!

Mykey stepped back and looked at Ludwig as he said that. Being nervous he doesn't realize that the door was closed, so as he turns around he hits his head on the door. Ludwig can't help but laugh a little, covering his mouth with his hands and trying to hide it.

Ludwig: A-Are you okay? (still covering his mouth)

Mykey turns to him, rubbing his forehead.

Mykey: y-yes… (Opens the door) well, we'll see you later

After that he leaves and goes with Roy and Bowsy. Ludwig stays in his seat, still thinking about what just happened, looking strangely into the void.

Ludwig: (thinking) That boy really is... weird... but he has his own charm..

Meanwhile, Bobby was in Larry's room, writing something in a small book, while his light-blue partner was still sleeping. Bobby stops writing and sets his pencil aside as he closes his little book, then leans his back against the back of his chair as he closes his eyes and begins to recall a little conversation he had with Larry last night.

FLASHBACK

It was 9:30 p.m. While they were going to sleep, Bobby was going to brush his teeth and Larry was looking for something in his drawer under his television, it was a small purple notebook. When Bobby returned a few minutes later, he was yawning as he walked a little slowly from exhaustion.

Larry: Hey Bobby! I have something for you

Bobby: and what is it?

Larry shows him the little notebook he had recently found.

Larry: It's for you. You told me you like to write, right? With this you can write down anything whenever

Bobby: wow! Thank you very much, Lar. You did not have to do it

Larry: (blushing) well, I've been wanting to give you something for days but I couldn't think of what, so I saved up a bit and bought you this, I hope you like it.

Bobby: I love it!

Bobby gives a small smile to Larry, who blushes more at it. Then, Bobby looks at his notebook and takes it in his arms, smiling more.

END OF FLASHBACK

Bobby: (thinking) Thanks, Larry. Now I can write about my new life here with you and the others. I will also write adventures here. It will be fun.

At that moment, the alarm clock goes off, drawing Bobby's attention and causing Larry to freak out. Trying to turn off the alarm, Larry loses his balance a bit and falls off the bed, causing Bobby to close his eyes from the noise caused.

As the confusion passes, Bobby goes to help Larry up, who was stunned from the fall, making his eyes roll and he sees little stars.

Bobby: are you okay? Did you hit yourself really hard?

Larry, after getting up, puts his hand to his head to support it and stands up again.

Larry: Yes, I think so. What time is it?

Bobby: 10:45, it's time to get up

Larry: (yawns) and… since what time have you been awake?

Bobby: About an hour ago. You couldn't stop moving from one place to another, plus I wanted to go to the bathroom.

Larry: (scratching the back of his neck) I'm sorry...

Bobby: don't be sorry, I don't mean that as a bad thing (shrugs) besides… I used that time to start my new notebook, writing my little adventures in Mr. Bowser's castle.

Larry: really? What have you written? Did you write about me?

Bobby: yup

Larry: what did you put there? Am I really good at video games?

Bobby: rather… I put that you always fall out of bed (sticks out his tongue)

Larry: (blushing) he-hey! You will see!

After that Larry starts chasing Bobby around the room, until suddenly someone opens the door and causes Larry to hit his nose on it, causing Larry to take a few steps back and fall on his back and cover his face, moaning a little from the pain; Bobby, for his part, stops and notices King Bowser

Bowser: Good morning, my children. I see you woke up

Bobby: Good morning, Mr. Bowser (smiling)

Larry: (rubbing his nose) he-hey, dad…

Bowser: but what happened to you? Did you fall out of bed again?

Bobby: Yeah, too, but he hit his face when you suddenly opened the door.

Bowser: I'm sorry about that, son. I came to see if they woke up, it's time for breakfast

Larry: let's go right away, although I already ate my nose...

A few hours later, Larry and Bobby go for a walk. As they walk, the little green-haired boy notices that his friend is still gently rubbing her nose.

Bobby: does it still hurt?

Larry: not so much but a little

Bobby, who had a small bag with him, takes out some bandages and places two crosses on Larry's nose, who looks confused.

Larry: and that?

Bobby: they say that's for wounds

Larry: I don't know if that works

Bobby: he doesn't, but you look funny (laughs a little)

Larry: Now you're going to see, little devil! (removes the bandages) now you will see why they call me the blue tornado

Bobby: Is it because you hang around and you're a mess?

With that said, Larry blushes as he puts on an enraged face as he chases after Bobby, who runs away until he reaches a shed and hides behind it. Larry gets there quickly and looks for his friend but loses sight of him. The young man in green comes out of hiding from him and laughs quietly. As he looks around the place, he realizes that there is a kind of news bulletin in the booth, which he stays reading for a long time. The blue-haired Koopa finally finds Bobby, but noticing him serious and looking at something, his face changes to curiosity.

Larry: Hey Bob, how hard are you looking?

Bobby: Oh Larry! I finally found you. Look at that (pointing to the poster)

Larry details the announcement and at the end he is surprised, his pupils dilate and he begins to smile a little.

Larry: Wow!

Bobby: apparently there will be a Super Striker Bros. competition, this Saturday at 12:00 (writes it down in his book)

Larry: He says that the prize is a surprise video game that will be released in two more months. (Excited) Bobby!!! We have to participate!!!

Bobby: I'd like to, but I'm not as good as you and you know it.

Larry: I'll teach you, we'll practice together. This is a unique opportunity!!

Bobby: well... it's just that I...

Before Bobby finishes what he was going to say, Larry takes his hands and looks into his eyes.

Larry: Please Bobby. Join me at this event. It will be more fun if we do it together

Seeing Larry's look of illusion, Bobby smiles and the illusion returns.

Bobby: okay. Let's do it together

Larry: great!! Let's sign up!

Meanwhile, Mykey, Roy and Bowsy are out there eating their ice cream. Mykey has a pineapple one, Roy has a pistachio one, and Jr. has a chocolate one. By chance they run into Larry and Bobby, who had just signed up.

Bobby: oh hey bro!

Mykey: what are you doing?

Larry: We entered a video game contest

Roy: wow! Really?

Bobby: that's right

Suddenly, Bobby notices that his brother has ice cream, which causes him to savor a little

Bobby: big brother, can I have some of your ice cream please?

Mykey: sure (hands him his ice cream) enjoy, little brother

The older Koopa strokes the green-haired Koopa's cheek, who smiles and thanks him. Seeing that, Larry tastes too, so he tries to ask his older brother for some.

Larry: Roy, can I have your ice cream? (getting puppy dog ​​eyes)

Roy makes an annoyed face.

Roy: Buy your ice cream, Larry.

At that refusal, Larry gives a small sigh and then looks at Jr., who seems to have noticed.

Jr.: It's MY ice cream

Larry puts on an annoyed expression and then goes to Bobby's side, crossing his arms and looking down with the same expression. Mykey and Bobby look at each other as they observe the situation, so the older Koopa puts his hand on Larry's shoulder.

Mykey: Let's go buy you an ice cream, okay?

Larry tries to avoid eye contact.

Roy: Don't bother, Mykey. Many times he behaves like a baby, more than Jr.

Jr: hey! I'm here, I can hear you and...

Roy puts Jr.'s ice cream in Jr.'s mouth, cutting him off. While, Larry looked at them with some indignation.

Mykey: what do you say, Larry?

Larry: (sighs a little) okay, come on...

They both go to the ice cream stand and the rest of the Koopa stay there having their ice cream.

Bobby: I should have given him my ice cream...

Roy: I recommend you don't do it, little one. Larry is capricious and selfish

Bobby: well… I know he is a little… but… it seems unfair that we all eat ice cream while he stares and savors it, I feel bad for him, who from his heart gave me a small book so that I can write and have my thoughts. He is a good Koopa after all; he is my best friend (looking at his own ice cream from him)

Hearing that, both Roy and Jr. look at each other and then at his ice cream, before stopping consuming their treat.

Roy: well... the truth is that I didn't act well either

Jr.: I don't want ice cream anymore, my belly hurts

Bobby: maybe that's guilt... or too much ice cream

Roy: I think it was the second (scratching his cheek)

Bobby laughs a little at Roy's comment but tries to hide it.

Bobby: Well, well, don't feel bad. The brothers fight from time to time, but they still love each other, right? (smiles tenderly at them)

Roy and Jr. look a bit embarrassed and shrug their shoulders in agreement.

Roy: By the way… have you and your brother ever fought?

Jr.: Yeah, it's true. I always see them very happy

Bobby: Yes, we have argued…many times…

Roy: wow! I did not expect that

Bobby: Once when I was younger…

The boys kept talking. For their part, Mykey and Larry go to choose their ice cream

Mykey: what flavor do you want?

Larry is silent for a few moments, to which Mykey questions him again. The little Koopa seemed somewhat crestfallen and his attention diverted from him, so he tries to avoid eye and verbal contact. Mykey bends over a little at Larry's height

Mykey: Are you feeling alright, Larry? I see that you are a little irritated

Larry: well… (putting his index fingers together and looking to the side) so… I felt a little jealous

Mykey looks closely at Larry, somewhat taken aback by his words.

Larry: I saw how you and Bobby are very close and don't fight, unlike us, who are territorial and don't share anything. How I wish that some of them were like you or like Bobby, who are always kind. Sometimes my brothers embarrass me a little, they make me feel bad, they make fun of me. That's why I prefer to be locked up; at least my video games make me feel better.

Mykey takes him by the hand and gazes into his eyes.

Mykey: Listen, Larry. I know it can be complicated, but I think your brothers love you. Surely they are like this because they are still children, including you, so they tend to be naughty

Larry: maybe...

Mykey: and believe it or not, Bobby and I also argued a lot before

Larry widens his eyes, looking at the gray-eyed Koopa, he didn't expect that answer

Mykey: It may be the same with you and your brothers. I'm sure things will be better in the future (gives him a jovial smile) you have my word.

Larry continues to look at Mykey, then feels a gleam in his eyes, and little by little he smiles too, nodding. Mykey strokes his forehead, which makes Larry happy again.

Mykey: well? What flavor do you want the ice cream?

Larry: uh…lemon, please

Mykey: done!

Back with Bobby and the boys, the little boy finishes telling them his story.

Bobby: (...) and that's why I'm not allowed to play with fire (eats some of the ice cream that's left)

While Bobby was telling them, Bowsy and Roy look at each other very strangely and with their eyes wide open, almost with a somewhat awkward posture.

Roy: uh…wow! I didn't think that you, with that cute little face, had so much evil inside

Jr. nods as he tries to look away.

Bobby: (laughs nervously) w-well… that was a few months ago, not that big of a deal. oh! Look, the boys are here! (pointing with his eyes, thinking) thank goodness... hehe...

That's when the boys arrive. Larry looks happier.

Mykey: sorry for the delay, we were choosing ice creams but there were so many flavors that we couldn't decide (laughs) anyway, shall we go to the castle? Soon it will be time for lunch

Larry: Yeah, come on! Bobby and I have to practice for this Saturday, right, buddy?

Bobby: (nods) yeah!

Roy: at least with that you will stop bothering

Larry makes faces at Roy, who also does the same. The boys return to the castle together.

During the afternoon, both Larry and Bobby start playing, settling into bed. Jr. accompanies them sitting in a chair that is to one side, being silent and observing. He noticed how Larry became serious and with his tongue out as a sign of concentration.

Jr.: (thinking) wow! Larry is pretty good! And Bobby seems to keep up with him...

As he watched, having his hands on his knees, his fingers trembled a little from the excitement of watching them play, but also from the desire to want to play.

Jr.: (thinking) it looks fun… (sighs) but… I promised I would support them

Bowsy looks at Bobby out of the corner of his eye and noticed how he was having fun without being very competitive, unlike Larry who looked more serious and excited at the same time. Seeing that duality, Jr. wondered how two such different boys were best friends.

Of all the rounds they played, Larry won the most, Bobby a few, but they both had just as much fun. Jr. was expectant and applauded from time to time if there was a shocking moment.

The days went by, the boys played whenever they could, but every now and then they took a break to clear their minds. At times they played tennis to feel motivated and at the same time improve their reflexes. Both boys enjoyed spending time together.

So, Friday arrives. With Bobby and Larry finishing their tennis match and leaving the rackets and ball in their place, they go to get something to eat. During their journey they meet Ludwig, who was sitting in the dining room reading. He feels the footsteps of the little Koopas and turns his gaze towards them. Larry avoids contact with his brother and searches the cabinet for cookies.

Bobby: Hi Ludwig!

Ludwig: Hi, uh...

Bobby: (completing) Bobby

Ludwig: right! I'm sorry I still don't remember your name

Bobby: It's okay. What are you doing?

Ludwig: I read a little. This book is very interesting, it is called “The Alchemist”

Bobby: wow! I remember my brother read that book too. He says that he didn't stop until he finished it.

Ludwig: Sounds good. You like to read?

Bobby: I'm not that big of a fan but I do like it from time to time. I remember that my first book was “The Little Prince”. At first my brother helped me read it, but later I tried to finish it by myself. It became one of my favorites.

Ludwig: That's good, little guy.

Larry arrives at Bobby's side and shares his cookies.

Larry: here you go, with chocolate chips

Both boys eat cookies. Bobby leaves a few for Ludwig, who looks at them in surprise before turning his gaze to the little green-haired boy. Ludwig shyly picks one up and starts eating it. Without realizing it, while he was eating he could be seen with a subtle smile, which Larry notices.

Ludwig: Thank you, Bobby.

Larry: how weird! You never smile

Ludwig doesn't respond him that, but he gives him an annoyed look. Proceed to change the subject

Ludwig: And what have you been up to these days, Bobby? Have you felt comfortable being here?

Bobby: Yeah, it's a really nice home they have, I love it! These days I have been with Larry, playing and sharing a lot, both video games and tennis. We even recently went for ice cream. He is a great friend

Ludwig: I see. But I recommend that you do other things from time to time, boy. You look too healthy for you to also spend your time locked up with this madman (looking at Larry out of the corner of his eye)

Larry puts on an expression of discomfort and annoyance at the same time, so he decides to rebuke his brother

Larry: Well, enough! I don't know what you bring with me. You always annoy me and make me look bad in front of others

Ludwig closes his book and places it on the table, then folds his arms, looking at Larry seriously.

Ludwig: Because you take it with you in your world and you do nothing but drag others down to your level. You think that by yelling or leaving others with the word in their mouth you are going to solve things when you are not even capable of taking charge of your immaturity

Larry: Well, that wouldn't happen if any of you played with me, I always spend it just because you think my tastes are stupid... (Looking down) If you knew how important video games are to me, you'd understand... (Raising his look) But no! On top of that, I have to put up with Jr. getting away with it and on top of that they defend him. Tell me what is unfair here.

Ludwig: If you didn't take it so personally and stop acting like a child, maybe…and just maybe…others would want to be with you, including me.

Larry: I'm a child! What did you expect?

Bobby: Guys, don't fight. You are brothers, not enemies. Things are fixed by talking

Ludwig: Excuse me, Bobby, but with this Koopa you can never talk, we always argue and for the same reasons (looks at Larry) and as long as you don't have respect for me, I won't have it for you either

After saying that, the older Koopa gets up from his chair, grabs his book and prepares to leave.

Larry: and what have you done?

Ludwig stops and looks back at his brother.

Ludwig: excuse me?

Larry: what have you done to deserve respect? You always brag that you're older here and there, but you've never been there for me when I needed it. When we were kids I fell down the stairs and hit the floor hard, and all you did was laugh at me.

Bobby: gosh!

Ludwig: Well, Daddy Bowser warned you to stop running up the stairs and you didn't. You got what you deserved

Larry: I was 6 years old!

Ludwig: At that age I didn't spend time falling foolishly

Larry: sure? Dad told us that one day you fell and hit your head.

Ludwig was somewhat confused by that statement, but he decides to get defensive.

Ludwig: Don't lie, that never happened!

Larry: maybe it's because of the blow that you don't remember anything, what do I know...?

Bobby: (sighs) Larry, let's do something else... I don't like seeing you like this...

Larry notices some discomfort in the words and expression of his friend, so he decides not to do anything and nod. As both boys turn to leave, Ludwig exclaims something else

Ludwig: Do you see, Larry? Isn't it better when you stop acting like a baby and behave yourself?

Hearing that, Larry stops and quickly goes to lunge at his brother, noticing himself with a furious expression, ready to throw a punch with his right hand, which takes Ludwig almost by surprise, but he quickly moves aside. Doing so accidentally causes Larry to trip over the dark blue Koopa's foot. All this happens very quickly and the light blue Koopa doesn't have time to react, causing Larry to fall on his right arm in the wrong position, causing him to bend his wrist.

Both Ludwig and Bobby are very surprised, gasping in shock. The latter goes to help Larry, but notices that his friend is on the verge of tears and moaning in pain, closing his eyes.

Bobby: L-Larry? Are you ok?

Larry gives a loud scream and starts to cry. Ludwig and Bobby are dismayed by the situation. The little green-haired boy doesn't know what to do. Ludwig appears to be transfixed, staring at his brother on the ground.

Almost instantly, Mykey arrives along with Lemmy, Iggy, and Wendy, who were in the next room.

Mykey: What's up?

The boys are also shocked by the situation upon seeing Larry.

Wendy: oh my god! Larry!

Iggy: what happened?

Ludwig: eh… w-well… I… I… (Averting his gaze)

Ludwig didn't know what to say, he was in shock, so he backs up a bit until he sits down and rests his head on his hand on the table, saying nothing more and staring off into space. Mykey looked at the blue Koopa with some concern, but first he goes to where Larry was.

Bobby: bro! (Mykey looks at him) Larry fell and…

Larry: (tearing) my hand… it hurts…

Lemmy: (noticing Larry's hand) I think he sprained his wrist.

Bobby: y-yes… (Looking down) I think so…

Mykey: I understand. Listen to me well Go get Mr. Kamek. Explain the situation, little brother. Larry needs to be taken care of right away.

Iggy: I'm going with you, Bobby. Let's go!

Bobby nods and leaves with Iggy. The rest of the Koopa children stay there. Mykey carefully picks up Larry and hugs him up. The young Koopa clings to Mykey.

Mykey: I'll take you to Mr. Kamek, Larry, don't worry.

The light blue Koopa lays his head on Mykey, still sobbing but breathing more calmly. Mykey looks at him and pats his head.

Mykey: Calm down, little friend. Everything will be alright

Ludwig saw that moment and couldn't help but feel bad for his brother, but he couldn't speak either. It was really a delicate situation. He tried to look away, but Mykey noticed.

Mykey: Lemmy! Please give Ludwig a glass of water.

Being so, Lemmy gives her brother the water, which he drinks to calm down.

Ludwig: Thanks, Lemmy; thanks, Mykey (looking at him with some pity)

Mykey: whenever you like, friend!

Ludwig looked at Mykey in surprise, somewhat flushed.

Mykey: Wendy, Lemmy. I'll take Larry to Mr. Kamek. Stay with Ludwig for a moment, please.

Lemmy nods as he smiles at him. Mykey also gives him a small smile before leading Larry to Kamek.

Wendy: good luck!

Ludwig put both arms on the table and rested his face on them. He seemed somewhat embarrassed. Both Lemmy and Wendy tried to talk to him to divert attention from him.

The situation became somewhat tense. Both Ludwig and Larry were unprepared for this accident. His brothers are a little worried, let's hope everything goes well for these guys. Will Larry be okay before his competition?

 - END OF CHAPTER -

_______________

| First | Previous | Next |

[autisticandroids]

I appreciate you being Dean concerned and not Dean critical. I’m sure you’ve already answered this before but what do you genuinely like about him? A lot of his good traits get twisted in your meta (and in the show) which is really interesting! But like. What about him do you just think is neat?

Also, you don’t talk about Sam a lot but I’m rewatching season 8 and it really feels like both a continuation of preseason one -> season one (Sam has a normal life, Dean is gone -> Sam wants to return to his normal life but Dean coming back gets him back in the game) which also gives it finale vibes :(

Besides the fact that the stuff with Amelia is really boring, it all just feels ooc and like a step back for Sam. Not to go on a rant but Sam seemed to finally make peace with his life back in season 7.

The stuff with Amelia also has both the same and the exact opposite energy as the stuff with Lisa. During his time with Lisa, it was always like Dean had one foot out the door back to hunting. During his time when he goes back to hunting with Dean in season 8, it feels like Sam always has one foot out the door back to Amelia.

That and I just can’t bring myself to give a shit about Amelia (maybe because she’s boring and inconsistent, maybe because info about her is drop fed instead of presented mostly all at once like with Lisa in season 6, maybe because she’s just shoved in for something for Sam to be up to and it feels ooc to me idk)

I thought I’d like season 8 (and I do really like a lot of Cas’ stuff but he’s always my favorite anyway so that was basically gaurenteed) but a lot of the stuff just makes my brain feel like a white noise machine. I’m only on episode 10 so I’m sure it’ll get better for me once the Sam stuff gets resolved but for now it’s very.... eh.

Thoughts?

okay so, what i like about dean. hm. that's hard! i love dean, for all sorts of reasons, and i know i'll miss stuff, but: - he charms me, on a sort of pure, animal level. he's very charming, that's true within the show but it's true for the audience, or at least me, as well. he's funny, he's affectionate, he's sweet, and he tries so hard. and it makes me love him - he's compellingly tragic. like dean is a fucked up guy, he hurts both himself and everyone around him because of patterns of trauma an neurosis he can't break out of. no one wants to be a bad guy, no one wants to hurt the ones they love, least of all dean, but he can't stop doing both those things. like his self-made cage of ideology, emotional repression, and control is killing him, and it's killing everyone who doesn't get away from him, and that's sad! it's awful! no one is winning except dean's self-image. he will sacrifice everyone and everything he loves on the altar of never having to re-evaluate himself. or, i hope he won't. but he might! and that's sad! it's the perfect tragedy! - second hand deangirlism due to cas kinnie disease. men will be the first person who was ever nice to castiel and then me and castiel will love them forever about it. - he is my little puzzle box and i will solve him - straightmarried gf i liked that sam ran off and tried to escape The Life in s8, that makes sense to me. i think sam really fundamentally doesn't want to be a hunter and the only reason he gives up on trying to leave post s8 is that it is impressed upon him that he's completely trapped. he can never be free. dean will always drag him back, kicking and screaming. i actually feel like sam's equivalent to lisa isn't amelia, it's jess. i talked some about that here but like. both jess and lisa were kind of synecdoches for a false ideal of the american dream, each in their own way. they're both images of suburban perfection, and what draws the winchesters to them is the desire to fit into that image.

but comparing lisa and amelia..... like, dean promises sam that he will go try to make a normal life with lisa, and then he does, because that obligation is all he has left to cling to. like dean is nothing but a miserable little pile of duties and tasks, he doesn't know who he is without a chore (see: demon!dean's total directionlessness) and lisa is the last promise he made to his brother, so he fulfills that. she's an idea to him, not a real woman. the thing he's clinging to, in sam's absence, is not lisa, but the idea of a normative suburban lifestyle. but then the moment sam shows up and voids his own last wishes, dean is like okay bye i don't need to fulfill this obligation anymore. like he was never all that interested in lisa. he didn't love her and his relationship with her was built on obligations, normative images, and anxiety over her safety, which finally resolves itself in dean horrifically violating her by asking cas to wipe her memories.

whereas sam is with amelia because he like, meets her and they form a connection. they hit it off. and sam has a pattern of like. when he wants to get away from something, especially if dean isn't around, he jumps into bed with the nearest girl who smiles at him and then forms a super intense with her. his early season one-off love interests, ruby, and now amelia. (amelia is actually kind of the last time he does that, because after season eight he gives up trying to escape for real). but what he's clinging to there isn't an image that he's trying to fit into. it's the girl herself. like he likes amelia and he wants to be around her and he dives into like. spending time with her and building a relationship with her. and like amelia is a real woman and sam sees her as a real woman. like she's a fucked up mess and so is he and they connect. like she's a bitch and she clogs her drain with limes. also #MyGirlfriendsHusbandFightsForYourFreedom. like samelia is a little boring but i don't begrudge sam that. it's almost compelling because it's boring.

i'm actually not a huge season eight guy myself but my issue with it isn't samelia.

actually, and this is a complete tangent, can i bitch about season ten for a second? like. okay. seasons eight and nine are about sam learning that dean will never let him go. that he's trapped forever in the hunting life and trapped forever with his brother, that dean will do horrific things to him in order to keep them together. and slowly just... giving up. deciding to relinquish his dreams of getting out once and for all.

and then season ten rolls around and suddenly sam makes a hypocrite of himself? suddenly sam is the one who will go to any lengths to save dean, even against dean's own wishes? NOT believable. like sam should be like. sad and fucked up about it, but letting dean go his own way. if anything, cas should be the one trying to save dean against his will, that's way more cas' move. like there's definitely a certain level of cas -> dean :: dean -> sam that exists in the show, at least in terms of protective fixation. cas is somewhat more respectful of dean's boundaries and autonomy, but he's the one with a pattern of blowing up at dean for being self-destructive etc etc.

like, sam should have been way different in s10. i don't know exactly what i would do with him, maybe give him his own distinct plot? or maybe have demon dean last somewhat longer and make "demon dean tries to kill sam" a whole multi-episode arc, i think that would slap. and then the relationship fallout from that can be many more episodes.

like imo this happened because jeremy carver got his start in season three, when sam legitimately was trying to save dean against dean's wishes, but in s3 that made sense. like, one, the brothers were much closer then, dean wasn't quite as much of a prison guard for sam, but two, much more importantly, dean's deal was sam's fault. he blamed himself. he wasn't just trying to save dean from dying, he was trying to save dean from going to hell because of him. like girl, it made sense in mystery spot. but this is not the energy you should be bringing to the table with sam in s10. ooc!

[quirklessidiot]

Title: voicemail [one-shot] Pairing: gn!reader x kuroo tetsuro (age up characters) Genre: angst with a fluffy ending

Synopsis: You say good morning, when it's midnight Going out of my head, alone in this bed I wake up to your sunset and it's driving me mad I miss you so bad. [this request kuroo + angst + ldr]

Warnings: some bad language but other than that none Notes: heavily inspired by simple plan’s jet lag ngh, hope you enjoy it anon. i def had fun writing this. Kuroo was my first love in haikyuu HAHHSHSS T-T

masterlist  

“Hey this is kuroo tetsurou, i’m currently busy right now, just leave a message after the beep.”

“Hey it’s me…”  you paused,  “How are you? I haven’t heard from you in a while. Uh- Kenma visited me yesterday, he told me that you secured a new deal. I-I just wanted to congratulate you...and-well, i miss you. Call me when you’re not busy, alright? I-I love you.”

The apartment turns silent after you end the call, your head throbbing at the thought of your third unanswered voicemail. Were you being overbearing? Would he find you annoying? You shut your eyes tight, all this overthinking at this time of the day.

Maybe it would’ve been better to just pass the message on to Kenma.

You let out a loud groan as you dropped yourself on the bed.

Man, when people told you that long distance relationships would be hard, you laughed it off, saying that you and tetsu wouldn’t feel that way. You were both open and too much in love, trivial things like time zones and miles away wouldn’t break you two apart.

Yet right now, you weren’t so confident to say that out loud. It was easier at first, following a scheduled facetime at least twice a week at most and a short call when you both had time everyday. As months pass though, the little schedule you promised to keep up was dwindling.

When he called, you were busy or you were dead tired from work. When you called, he was either asleep too or busy scouting some people on volleyball leagues. The face times would just turn to very short conversations or a curt message.

Now this happened, its been a week since you haven’t heard from him and it was Kenma who had told you about his little victory at work.

What happened to weekly updates?

Were you just overthinking?

You furrowed your brows together as you turned to the abandoned cellular phone next to you, maybe this was nothing. Maybe he was just tired or maybe he was worried he’d disturb your sleeping time (he feels awfully bad when he does that), maybe he just told Kenma to tell you since he wasn’t good at figuring out the timezone things (after all, Kenma barely slept so he’d definitely be a good messenger)

Yeah, maybe that was the case.

Things returned to normal after that one week of no replies and it bothered you even more, why couldn’t he apologize? Did he not see the voicemails you sent? Did he not notice the nervousness in your tone when you sent that last message?

You feel your stomach clench as if you’re on a high up roller coaster about to go down.

God, why were you even overthinking? You sound like one of those girls that Kuroo and you would make fun of back then in high school.

A small ding resonates in the quiet apartment and you see a text from the man himself,

From: Tetsu Time: 09:00 pm Can’t facetime tonight :( Work has me by the neck.

To: Tetsu Time: 09:01 It’s fine :D Take care of yourself and just text me when you’re done. I love you.

You shut your phone off and ran your hands through your dry hair, moments later, you realize he doesn’t reply and the feeling of uneasiness does not waver.

It just worsens.

“Y/N, you alright there?” Kenma asks, it’s sunny today and you manage to drag Kenma out of his not-so little hideout. The man needed some sun, he was getting extra pale these days but these days, it seemed like it was actually you that needed this break.

You immediately snapped out of your thoughts when you hear the low voice of your friend, “Yeah,” You laugh, scratching your neck, “Just peachy.”

Kenma Kozume was many things, observant is one of them. It was easy to notice how distressed you looked yet he didn’t know exactly why. Was it work? Did you and Kuroo fought? Weird, his friend hadn’t said anything and he seemed pretty happy when he called to check up on him this morning at three am.

“Is something going on at work, Y/N?” 

“Yeah,” you try to mask your overthinking by something else, knowing Kenma he’d voice out your worries to Kuroo and right now that was the least thing you wanted, “Something at work.”

“Don’t overthink about it Y/N. I’m sure you’re doing a great job.”

‘Yeah.’ you thought bitterly, ‘Don’t overthink about it.’

The low sound of your laptop ringing resonates throughout the room as you do your own nails, you immediately shoot-up to see Kuroo’s name on the screen, you dive on the front of your laptop and click answer, his face immediately occupying the screen, “Kitten!” he exclaims.

Your worries are gone as soon as you hear that voice, yes, this was fine. He was alright. You were both alright.

“H-hey, baby.” You try to control your voice.

“You alright there?” his brows furrowed, “Am I disturbing your sleep again-”

“No!” You suddenly cry out, “N-No, it’s just...I haven’t seen you in so long, I guess.”

Kuroo’s gaze immediately softens, “Oh, Y/N...Baby, I’m so sorry…”

God, you wanted to touch him so bad. You want to lay next to him and wake up to his face like before, you wanted to be selfish right now and just cry and beg him to come home.

“No, It’s fine.” You suck it up, “It’s probably just the late night dramas I’ve been watching that’s got me missing you.”

His deep chuckle resonates in your quiet room and you start to feel alright until you hear someone call his name, “Oh shit.” He cursed, “I have to get back, Baby. Boss wants me, again.”

Your expression shifts to an uncharacteristic frown, “Right, bye. I-I love you.”

“I love you too, Y/N.”

The screen turns black once again and the bile on your throat begins to rise, the feeling of dread turning worse.

Who were you kidding, long distance relationships were shit.

You were feeling like shit.

You stare at the fish fillet in front of you, it's midday and your day off from work. If it were your usual day, you’d facetime your boyfriend while doing some paperwork but after that brief videocall. You became more withdrawn, your texts would become curt and you didn’t bother leaving messages on his voicemail anymore.

You didn’t have facetimes anymore too.

Yet you keep your phone next to you, hoping he’d still call and when he does, your can’t help it but your replies are starting to get dry. Sometimes forced even yet Kuroo doesn’t notice, he never does.

So when he finally calls again that time at lunch and is once again cut off by his workmates, you finally snap, “...Why are we still doing this?” your voice was rough and dry.

Kuroo is silent on the other line, the only thing that could be heard was his office mate calling him.

“Kitten, what do you mean? Are you okay?”

“Forget it.Just go.”

“Y/N?” His tone was serious now, all playfulness void, “I thought we were doing fine-”

“Thought.” You shakily cut him off, “You thought.”

“Y/N, you seriously -   look-   I don’t have time for this.”

That was the final straw, your tipping point. Those words were your Achilles heel.

“Then we should just break up, right?” 

The only thing that could be heard was the silence on his side and your fast heartbeat. Guess you got your answer and as much as you hated it, you could only handle so much.

“Hey this is Y/N, I’m out now and kinda busy so just leave a message after a beep, yeah?”

“It’s me.” Kuroo’s voice echoes through the walls, “Y/N baby, please pick up the phone. I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean it that way. I was an ass. I should’ve kept our promise. Please call me when you get this”

A loud beep echoes throughout the room after his message is cut.

“It’s me again. I miss you and I’m sorry. I really am, I miss you so bad. Can we facetime? Same time as usual, I promise I won’t let work get in the way again. Please call me back when you receive this.”

A loud beep once again echoes through the quiet walls of your room.

“Y-Y/N.” Kuroo stammers,  “sweetheart, I-I asked Kenma to check on you. He brought a meal and well I know its a far fix from what I did but just eat well, yeah? He says you haven’t been looking well and I worry. I love you always, y-you know that right?”

Before the next message could play, you grab your phone and shut it off. A soft sigh escaping your lips. It had been two weeks since that breakup. You wouldn’t say you were doing well yet you wouldn’t say that the burden was lifted either.

You were just so confused at the moment, so withdrawn. The world seemingly void of color without your lover truly next to you anymore.

You slowly snuggle on his side of the bed, shutting your eyes. You might as well start moving your things when you wake up tomorrow, no sense in staying at your shared apartment.

You’re awoken by a familiar warmth caressing your hair. You flutter your eyes open, trying to adjust your vision to the room's dim light, the familiar figure of the man you missed and dearly loved sitting across you in a suit. His bags are thick as if he hadn’t slept in a while and his hair’s unkempt more than usual.

“I’m sorry.” the first thing he says.It's soft and warm like his touches, “I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

“Y-You..” It slowly dawns upon you that this isn’t a dream, that he’s right here, “You’re here.”

“Sorry it took so long, Y/N.” He apologies once again, dipping his head down to give you a soft kiss on your forehead. You sit up and suddenly all the tears burst out as you throw yourself to him in a hug, “I was too busy getting my work done so I could be assigned in this division earlier I hadn’t-”

“You’re home.” You cry, cutting off his explanation, it didn’t matter anymore. He was home and he was going to stay, “You’re finally home.”

“Yeah.” He whispers, “I’m here. I’m home.”

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (March 4/2021) -      Life and Death

Foolish  has found signs of the Egg’s intrusion on his land near the Temple of Undying, and wonders if it’s finally time to step in... What is this new foe, with remarkable control over people’s minds?

And what does it mean to play god?

---

VOD LINKS:

Ponk

Tubbo

HBomb

Foolish

Tommy

Karl

Antfrost

Ranboo

---

- One thing leads to another, Tubbo visits HBomb’s savannah mansion, puts him on house arrest, revokes it because H put on a suit, and forms an AA board.

- Foolish sails in a boat wonders whether he’s been living...a little naively. 

“You would think after so many years, that I wouldn’t misunderstand things. That I would’ve learned lessons, that I would know everything, but...I guess there’s some meaning behind my name. I think it applies not just to me though, either...I think it applies to most creatures. I think everyone’s perhaps a little foolish.”

- He reaches the shore and shows that his statue has been covered in Blood Vines. 

“And boy was I foolish...I thought I was safe here.”

- He doesn’t fear the Egg, but it does bother him. He thought he didn’t need to pay much attention to it, that it was just a pest. But the Egg might require more attention than he assumed. He thought his statue, his cats, they would protect this place.

- How far is this thing willing to spread? What is it? An old foe, or a new one? Foolish gathers his full set of Netherite. He wonders who they could seek for help. Tommy? Technoblade?

"But then...it gets me thinking...other, perhaps, risky ideas...what about Dream? If Dream was not in prison right now, would he let it spread -- or maybe he’s in favor of the Egg! That’s what we don’t know."

- Foolish heads to the Egg Room. What makes the Egg special?

- He doesn’t hold any grudge against Bad or Ant or Punz or anyone else whose mind has been corrupted by the Egg. Mind control is an interesting thing. Not many creatures can do it.

- He meets eyes with Ponk, whose eyes are red. Foolish talks about how it’s unwise to think that one can tread the line and not become corrupted. Ponk tells him to come look. 

- The Egg starts to make noises...a laugh?

“Have we ever met before?”

- There’s a rattling noise.

“Do you have a name?”

The Crimson speaks, but for the first time, it’s not in reverse:

“LEAVE...”

“I don’t believe we’ve met before. You’re a new foe, something I’ve not quite seen in all my years...”

“You think you’re more powerful? Be careful...careful being naive.”

“Maybe so, maybe so, but we will see. ‘Cause you might have fucked up dragging me into this.”

- The Egg laughs.

“Laugh. Laugh if you want, we’ll see.”

“TIME WILL TELL.”

“Time...will...tell...in-deed!”

“Well, it was nice getting to know you. It was nice talking with you. And thank you for intruding!”

“BYE...BYE...”

- Foolish goes to leave, as the Egg continues to laugh. Someone will figure this out.

“What has the power to control minds? Witches, warlocks, perhaps could maybe influence one...Demons, Dreamons? Even they, I have seen, have the power to tinker with someone’s mind, but not control and twist so many at one time."

- Foolish returns to the Temple of Undying, a peaceful place.

“And that is what I’m trying to explain...that be careful! Be careful when you think you’re all high and mighty, ‘cause little do you know until it’s too late...that maybe there is something above you...”

“If the Egg was really so powerful, let me see it here. I want to see its vines right here.”

- He thought the Egg was a pest, that it would just die on its own. It looks like he might need to start talking with more people.

“I like to build...and there’s still...a room that I have up my sleeve. A room that, as far as I know, no one knows about...it’s still a last resort. I don’t think we’re quite needing this yet, but...it’s still something to keep in mind.”

- There’s a room in Foolish’s basement under the statue, a special staircase down. He hesitates, but does not go down there yet.

“Tinkering with life and death, it’s...very profound. It shouldn’t just be toyed with lightly.”

“But this...this is something I’ll no longer take lightly.”

---

Tommy’s Resurrection

(Again, this part of the recap will be more detailed)

---

- Tommy’s before-stream screen starts with “Undertale” playing. There’s nothing but a black screen.

“Am I dead?”

“Hello, Tommy.”

- Tommy asks Wilbur how long is left. Wilbur goes to check, saying there are eight more eons to go.

- Wilbur offers Tommy competitive solitaire.

- Schlatt and Mexican Dream are also there, though Wilbur thinks Schlatt’s been asleep for around three months.

- Wilbur is happy that Tommy’s there. 

“Me and you were never good for that server...you can look at the entire history, and it all falls in our laps...”

“I genuinely think if it weren’t for me and you dying, the server would be in shambles. I know for a fact that if I’m brought back in some way it’s definitely just gonna go to shit again. I know what I’m like, that’s the issue.”

- Tommy says he hates it here. Wilbur says his plan is, in a couple months, they can set up a competitive solitaire arena.

- Wilbur’s voice disappears.

“Tommy...Tommy? Wake up.”

- Tommy wakes up in the cell with Dream.

- Dream asks what it was like. Tommy says it was dark. Dream asks if there were others there, Tommy says there was Schlatt, Mexican Dream -- Dream sounds excited about Tommy talking with Schlatt.

- Dream asks...what did it feel like? Death? No one has ever been dead and been back before.

Dream: “I was kind of scared it wouldn’t work...”

Tommy: “You were scared it wouldn’t work?”

Dream: “I mean I never tried it...”

- Tommy explains that death felt like being pulled apart and put back together again.

- Dream asks what was Wilbur like.

Tommy: “Do you remember what Wilbur was like? Here?”

Dream: “Yeah! Wilbur was awesome!”

- Dream tells Tommy everyone thinks he’s still dead.

Dream: “Tell me one more time, what was it like. When you die, what does it feel like?”

Tommy: “I felt like I was shredded to dust--”

Dream: “Did it feel good?”

Tommy: “No, no, it didn’t feel good, it felt like I was put through a shredder. There was no blood, there was no flesh, there was just essence.”

Tommy: “A tunnel of black and void, not even black just colorless.”

- Dream said he tried to give Tommy time. Tommy says he was in there for months. He asks where Tubbo, Jack and Phil are. Dream asks how long he was in there. Tommy says a month or so.

Dream: “Tommy, you were there for two days, Tommy.”

- They lost count when “Schlatt started doing the thing,” but they were counting. Tommy says that was just the first “round,” and Schlatt insisted they count like that...they kept count up until about a month and 20 days.

Tommy: “He always liked the number 18...”

- Dream says he only did it to prove that the revive book was real. Tommy remembers the book...it’s real. It’s actually real.

Dream: “I...I’m a god! I can bring people back to life, I didn’t even know for sure that I could, but I can! I’m actually a god! I -- this -- I could kill people and just bring them back if I wanted to!”

- Tommy asks how long Wilbur’s been dead. Dream says he’s not sure...maybe six months?

- Tommy says that the things Wilbur talked about, said he would do...

Tommy: “Promise me, never, EVER -- Dream look at me, LOOK AT ME! -- NEVER bring back Wilbur...please, please, please. Dream, I thought he was like my brother, alright, even before, I wasn’t sure, I tried going to his revival...Dream, I’ve been there for so long now, I take every ounce of doubt I had back. Do not. Bring back. Wilbur. EVER.”

“Dream, you are NOTHING. You are FINE, we can be friends if you don’t bring him back, all the tragedies you’ve done--”

- Dream says it’s up to him. Maybe he’ll flip a coin!

“Dream...why did you keep asking me how it was?”

Dream: “I just -- I wanna know! It’s interesting!”

- Dream wonders if they could send him back to figure out more.

Tommy: “You’re too powerful -- you’re too powerful! ...Dream? Burn the book. Burn the book, now, Dream! You think you understand -- you don’t understand this, this is so much bigger than that. The TRAUMA, everything -- you couldn’t even comprehend what I’ve gone through, alright? Burn the book now, please.”

- Dream says he doesn’t have the book, just the information, the knowledge inside of it, and he can’t burn knowledge.

Dream: “I wanna know about death, you know? We can study it! We can study it together! We can become IMMORTAL together! By studying it!”

- Tommy tells Dream to burn the book again, but Dream insists that it’s in his mind, he can’t get rid of that. He goes over to the lava and throws one of his books in.

Dream: “I can burn every book that I have and it will do nothing.”

...

Dream: “How am I even gonna die? I’m in this--”

Tommy: “Dream? I have to kill you. This isn’t even a matter of disliking you or not, disregard all of our previous entaglements -- you have to die.”

Dream: “Okay...go on then. Kill me.”

- Dream simply goes to the corner, waiting.

Dream: “Go ahead. Do it.”

Tommy: “This is where you die, in the prison...and you’re fine with this?”

Dream: “Here, use some potatoes, just like with you.”

Tommy: “And you’re fine with this? You’re fine with me just beating you to -- you die, and revival goes down with you, and I’ll kill you in the fuckin’ prison! The prison you would’ve never fucking get out of, if only I hadn’t come here, and I wouldn’t have been trapped in here, I would’ve been fucking fine, so now I’m gonna kill you, and I’m gonna be trapped alone. I’m gonna...and I’m gonna be in here...”

- Tommy starts, but then stops.

Tommy: “And if I kill you now, then I’ll be in here...then I’ll be stuck in here. And I know the book I signed. I can’t...so if I kill you in here, what happens if I kill you in here?”

- Dream says that Awesam is mad with him so no one would even realize Tommy was in there for a while. Tommy wonders about the conditions of the waivers -- the books meant breaking in, not trying to kill, right?

- Dream says it could be a couple months before Awesam checks again, he might assume Dream had gotten out.

Dream: “Kill me if you want, I’m fine! I’ll stand right by the lava, you could punch me into it, I’ll set myself on fire.”

He steps into the lava, lighting himself on fire.

“Come on. Go ahead.”

- Tommy knows that Sam takes his job as warden seriously, he knows what he signed.

Tommy: “I can’t kill you in here, because then I’ll be in here forever myself, and then...and then it’ll be worse than down there! Or up there -- I don’t know where it was -- but it will be worse than...it will be worse than death. And then I’ll have to die in here, and then I’ll go back there...with no more memories, no more anything, just suffering.”

- Dream says that now that Tommy knows, though once Tommy gets out of the prison, he can go and tell everyone that Dream has the book, that he wasn’t lying. Tommy can tell everyone that Dream was telling the truth.

Tommy: “I can’t kill you...I can’t kill you...I need to kill you, and I can’t.”

- Dream realizes that he could kill Tommy, kill Tubbo, and just bring them back!

Dream: “Everyone...is my puppets.”

- Tommy is horrified that Dream would kill him just to prove a point.

Tommy: “With this much power...you killed me.”

Dream: “You wouldn’t believe me! What else am I gonna do?”

Tommy: “You killed me to prove your own point -- you could’ve just showed me, you could’ve just -- this is so evil, this isn’t like before -- you put me through torture, through pain, to prove a POINT, Dream! That’s fucked! You can’t do that to me, to any --”

Dream: “Why? I can, Tommy! You didn’t believe me! You were calling me a liar, how else am I supposed to prove it?”

...

Tommy: “You’re. nothing, Dream, you don’t know what it’s like. You’re not just evil now, you are fuckin’ demented. Fuck you. Fuck you, man. Seriously, more than before -- you’re not just a villain, you’re not just the villain in the history books -- you are the fuckin’ Devil, man.”

- Dream says he has to let Tommy out of there alive

Dream: “Otherwise Sam will cut off my visitors, he’ll feed me less, he’ll do all these things -- but what I will do -- I’ll let you free, I’ll let you free, we’ll call for Sam, we’ll get him in here, he’ll let you out. But...I’m gonna bring back Wilbur...and (laughs) Wilbur’s gonna help me escape. He will owe me his life! And he’s been there for how many years? He’s probably the smartest man on the entire planet!”

“I’m bringing back Wilbur.”

---

- Back at his summer home, Foolish speaks with Bad, telling him that while he was at first neutral about the Egg, he’s starting to hate it.

- Bad arrives at the Temple. Foolish tells him that he feels a bit bad for Bad, he used to be good! And deep down, Foolish thinks Bad needs to be freed.

- Bad replies that even so far out here, Foolish is still vulnerable. 

- Foolish tells Bad to leave. Bad does so.

Afterwards, he thinks to himself.

“This is a spit in the face of everything that this summer home stands for...This Temple of the Undying? It’s life, happiness, not whatever this is. Absolutely not. You know, I haven’t spilled any blood, I’m a peaceful man, I don’t like death. I don’t like death at all.” 

(He shows his stats -- “Players killed: 0″) 

“And I’m going to do my best to keep it that way.”

- He says he’ll do his best to resolve things peacefully, but when it comes down to it, he may have to kill for the greater good. Doing things peacefully might lead to his downfall. Is he being naive, thinking that things can be resolved without violence?

“Thinking that this could be fixed peacefully -- maybe that’s my problem, maybe that’s why I’m still searching for answers, ‘cause I think peaceful -- the peaceful approach is the right way -- maybe it’s not! Maybe it’s not...”

“But I’m still gonna maintain the hope that it is.”

---

It’s time for Tales From the SMP: “The Haunted Mansion!”

This episode takes place a bit into the future.

---

The Cast:

- Connor plays Connor

- Karl plays Karl

- Sapnap plays Rash

-  Dream plays Francis

- Punz plays Joey

- George plays Greg

- Tubbo and Ranboo play the twins, Ash (Tubbo) and Zachary (Ranboo)

- Techno plays Porkums, who has a very silly hat

- Bad plays Gump

---

- Karl meets Connor, who introduces Karl to his friends. They’ve rented an AirBNB at the mansion.

- Connor introduces Karl to everyone. Ash and Zachary have lots of milk.

- Karl has them sit in a circle to play Duck-Duck-Goose 

- Somebody’s at the door...Schlatt?

- Connor introduces him. He’s been completely dead for a couple months. According to Schlatt, he spent some time reflecting on his time as President and decided to become a landlord and rent out some places for AirBNBs. 

- Schlatt shows them the million-dollars-a-night property.

- Connor questions the logic of Schlatt having this massive property in a server whose economy has been characterized by numerous governments collapsing. Schlatt explains they invested in cryptocurrency.

- Schlatt shows them My Castle and tells Connor to press his very special button. Nothing happens, so Schlatt fishes him out of view and Connor disappears.

- Schlatt explains that he built this castle as a fun game! There are three beacons, and they all need items to be activated. If they find all the nether stars, they can see Schlatt’s lair, where Connor is trapped!

- Everyone wonders what if they don’t really want Connor that much? Could they have something else, like Haribos?

- They go down the first hall of trials. Schlatt leaves them.

- They retrieve the Nether Star and debate who should be the one to put it in. Porkums is selected. Schlatt fishes him behind a wall and disappears him and his silly hat.

- They go through the next trials as Schlatt plays Trance Music for Racing Game.

- They get the second Nether Star and return to pick the next person. Karl brings up how he was on Schlatt’s side the whole time in Manberg, and Schlatt talks about how he’s changed since then and become a landlord.

- Francis puts the next star in and gets teleported to the lair.

- Glatt tries to take Ash as well so that he can teach him about real estate but accidentally gets the wrong twin and sends Zachary down instead.

- They go through the last hall, the red one, and retrieve the Nether Star. Greg puts it in.

- They pull a lever and a pathway appears leading down into the basement. They find everyone down there chilling in a pool. Connor greets them.

- Schlatt and Connor used to run a business together on another server...

(SMPLive canon?)

- Karl goes to the Inbetween and starts reading.

“Welcome back :]”

- He reads some more and finds a Nether Portal with a book labelled “STOP” warning him to not stray from the path.

- The Inbetween is a hot destination for time travelers to return to! :]

- He finds another book:

“GO UNDER THE TREE. YOU CAN’T AFFORD NOT TO.”

“THANK GOD YOU FOUND IT. IT CAN’T SEE YOU DOWN HERE.”

- Another book, again in all-caps, tells him that the castle isn’t what it seems, and he doesn’t want to learn the truth about those other forms of him. He needs to find a way to the portal.

- A line of books tells him to stick to the path.

:] writes another book telling him that the Inbetween is gorgeous! What more is there to ask for?

“It’s a time traveller’s dream.”

- Karl will return to his library. The stories need to be preserved.

“The SMP needs you, and you need me. We make a good team! See you soon! :]”

---

[stories-and-such]

These past couple of weeks had been hard on everyone. Steve refused to be within two miles of the Avengers Tower, Thor returned to Asgard and hadn’t come back, Natasha kept herself as busy as possible with training new recruits and anything else she could find, Bruce threw himself into research projects, Pepper took a lot of time off from work, and Peter, well… Peter suffered the most out of everyone. He just wasn’t the same happy kid he had been before Tony died.

Don’t get me wrong, he was still a happy kid, or at least that’s how he acted.

He practically lived at the Avengers Tower now. He went off to school in the morning, went to the Avengers Tower to work in the afternoons, sometimes he would have dinner with Pepper and Morgan in the evenings, and at night… at night was when it would hit him.

He would put on his suit and patrol the streets for a few hours, stopping any robberies or break-ins that popped up, but at around one in the morning, he would go to the top of the Empire State Building and look out over the city for a while. Then he would take off his mask, take out his phone, and look at a picture of him and Tony and he would just talk to him.

He’d tell him about his day; about the new comic he read, about how Ned would tease him about MJ, about how things were going with MJ. Anything and everything that was on his mind, he would talk to Tony about.

And then he would break. When he talked to Tony and thought about what he would be saying in response, when he thought about the jokes he would make or the sound of his laugh, or about the way he would clamp his hand down on his shoulder and tell him he was doing a good job, he would break. But then he would put his phone away, dry his tears, put on his mask and go back to the Avengers Tower where he would work on his suit for a few hours and then do it all over again.

He hardly ever slept anymore. He hated sleeping. When he closed his eyes he could see Tony in those last few moments he had with him. He would see him take his last breath and he would scream into the void, scream that it should have been him, not Mr. Stark. That the world needed Tony and not him. He screamed and he cried and he begged, but no one would listen to him. God, the Universe, whatever. No one heard him and he would wake up drenched in sweat and tears and completely out of breath. He didn’t like feeling like that, so he didn’t sleep if it could be avoided.

That was until the day he ran into Natasha.

“Ohh! I’m so sorry, Miss Romanoff,” Peter exclaimed, fumbling to clean up the mess of coffee he had spilled; none of which had made it onto Natasha’s pants, thankfully.

“It’s alright, Peter,” she smiled, taking some paper towels from him and helping him clean up. “Are you okay? You look like hell.”

“Thanks,” Peter mumbled, smiling when he heard Natasha chuckle. “I’m fine, just haven’t been sleeping much. There’s a lot to do around here.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet,” Natasha said, throwing the wet paper towels away.

Peter hesitated and then asked, “Can I buy you another coffee?”

Natasha smiled. “No, it’s alright. Really.”

Peter blushed, still feeling really embarrassed about everything that had just happened.

“Well, I’ll catch up with you later, kid. I have to go talk to Pepper about letting me crash here for a little while,” she said, motioning towards the general direction of where Pepper’s office was.

“Ohh, is everything okay? Why do you need to stay here? If that’s okay for me to ask,” Peter rushed out, his cheeks turning bright pink again.

“Everything’s fine. I'm remodeling my kitchen so I can’t be there until they’re done.”

“Ohh,” Peter said, “okay then. I’ll get out of your hair now. Umm, I’ll see you around since I’m here a lot. I’ll try not to spill coffee on you again, though.”

Natasha laughed and started walking towards the elevator. “Bye ребенок паук.” {Spider baby}

“Way to go, Parker,” Peter muttered to himself. “You can’t be in the presence of an Avenger without making yourself look like an idiot, can you?”

***

Peter stayed in the lab until pretty late that night. He was trying to modify his web shooters without any luck; they still kept getting stuck.

In the midst of his frustration he threw the screwdriver he was using across the room and yelled, “Dammit!” The tool clashed with a glass cup, causing it to shatter and making Peter let out an exasperated sigh. He put the web shooters down on the table as calmly as he could, getting up from the table and making his way over to his bunk, two floors up from where he currently was. As much as he hated to sleep, he knew he had to try, even if for just a few hours. He was, after all, a science nerd so he was aware of the consequences of going long periods of time without sleeping.

When he made it to his room, he threw himself down on the nearest bed, passing out almost immediately.

His peaceful sleep didn’t last long. His dream started out innocent enough this time. He and Tony were playing with Morgan and Pepper; basketball. Peter and Morgan against Pepper and Tony. Everything was going great. Peter helped Morgan shoot a basket in and the rest of the Avengers, who were watching from the sidelines, cheered them on.

But then the basketball court disappeared and they were back on the battlefield, death and destruction all around them and Peter was watching as Tony took his last breath. And then it started; he was screaming into the void again, begging someone to help him save Tony, offering up his own life in between sobs.

Next thing he knew, someone was shaking him, telling him to wake up.

“Peter!” the voice said semi-softly. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay.”

It was Natasha. Peter opened his eyes, wet with tears and finally realized that what he had seen wasn’t real. It was all a dream.

But it hadn’t just been a dream. It was real. Tony was gone and there was nothing he could do about it.

Peter sighed and tried to calm his heart rate. He was still breathing a little heavy and the tears kept rolling down his cheeks no matter how many times he wiped them away.

Natasha hated seeing him like this. The few times before today when she had seen him he looked terrible. He had lost a lot of weight, there were dark circles under his eyes, and he always seemed to be a little on edge, but whenever someone asked him if he was okay, he would smile and say he was fine.

She placed a hand on his arm and moved her thumb back and forth, telling him that he was okay now. When his breathing went back to normal, she sat on the edge of his bed and looked at him until he met her eyes.

“Are you okay?” She asked, already knowing the answer. Peter hesitated for a moment, but then shook his head, a couple more tears escaping from his eyes. Natasha reached over and wiped them away, a sort of maternal instinct taking over.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she said softly.

Peter sighed and sat up, leaning back against the metal headboard.

“I just miss him,” he said, his voice hoarse from all the screaming and crying. “I can’t close my eyes without seeing him there, dying. I feel terrible knowing that I couldn’t do anything to save him. He was always saving me and the one time it really mattered, I couldn’t do the same for him. I couldn’t help him.”

His voice faltered and his eyes glimmered with fresh tears. Natasha pulled him into a hug and squeezed him as tightly as she could without hurting him.

When she released him she placed a hand on his cheek saying, “Peter, this is not your fault. Tony was a hero; sacrificing himself in order to protect everyone else was what he did best. Nobody could have stopped him. The man was stubborn as hell, once he made up his mind it was virtually impossible to get him to change it.”

Peter smiled a little at Natasha’s words. She was right, and he knew she was right, but he still felt responsible.

“I know,” he sniffed. “I just feel like it was somehow my fault.”

Natasha moved over so she could sit right next to him. Peter moved over slightly, giving her more room.

“I get it,” she stated, the tone of her voice changing. “That’s exactly how I felt after Clint died. Except in my case I felt ten times more responsible because he did it for me. We fought over who should sacrifice themselves in order to get the soul stone, and I was so close to being the one to do it, but Clint grabbed me right before I could and threw me in the opposite direction of the cliff. And then he jumped.”

There was so much pain laced in her words, the memory of her best friend cutting into her heart, making it feel like it was about to burst. Ever since that day, the pain had never subsided, never eased. Every time she thought about it - about him - it hurt just as bad as it did when she saw his lifeless body at the bottom of that cliff.

“He sacrificed himself so that I didn’t have to,” she said softly. “So believe me when I tell you that I know how you feel and that you don’t have to do this alone.”

Peter turned his head and looked at her. He could see the pain in her eyes; the same pain he felt every single day. He never thought that anyone would be able to understand how much it hurt. And he had to say that even though he wished that she didn’t have to feel that way, it was kind of nice to have someone who really understood.

He leaned into her shoulder and she placed an arm around him. He let go of everything, then. All the pain he’d been suppressing, all the anger he felt, all the memories he had been trying so hard to bury; he let it all out and it hit him like a train.

It broke Natasha’s heart to see him so broken, so fragile. He was one of the most resilient people she had ever met. Before this, she didn’t think she had ever seen him so much as frown. So to go from always seeing him smiling and happy and cracking jokes to hearing his broken sobs in the middle of the night because he felt responsible for the death of the person he most admired, well, you can understand how painful it was to see him like this.

But regardless of how much it hurt her to see him cry, she allowed him to let go of all of his emotions. She didn’t try to whisper words of encouragement, or try to reassure him that things would get better with time because, again, she knew what this was like. She had been in this situation and she knew that hearing things like that didn’t help. She knew that all he needed was someone to hold him. So that’s exactly what she did.

After a while, his sobs quieted down and his breathing evened out. Natasha thought he had fallen asleep, but then he spoke. His voice was barely above a whisper, but she heard him.

“Nat?” he said, his voice trembling.

“Hmm?” she hummed.

“Do you think you could sleep here tonight? I don’t want to be alone,” he said timidly, almost as if he were afraid she would laugh at him.

Natasha looked down at him and smiled softly. “Of course.”

Peter laid down on the small bed and Natasha scooted in closer to him so she wouldn’t fall off. At first Peter was turned facing the wall and Natasha was on her back, staring up at the bottom of the mattress above them, but then Peter turned around and cuddled into her side. She was a little surprised at first, but then she smiled contently and wrapped an arm around him, pulling him closer.

Natasha fell asleep almost instantly as she was tired from a long day of helping to train new agents. Peter took a little longer to ease into sleep. He was drained from crying so much, but he fought off the exhaustion that threatened to pull him into an unconscious state out of the fear of having the same nightmare again. But as he laid there, wrapped in Natasha’s arms, he couldn’t help but feel safe. He closed his eyes and listened to her quiet, even breath, no longer fighting his fatigue.

And for the first time in a long time, he slept peacefully.

Read on AO3

[lexartsstuff]

You'll Always Have Me

Word Count: 3,925

    “So, Ari, excited for your big day off tomorrow?” Anna plopped her tray on the table, the red plastic rattling as she threw her leg over the bench.

    Catalina looked up from her sushi, raising a playful brow at the two meat lovers’ pizzas on Anna’s tray. Returning to her food, the woman said, “Yes, I am actually.”

    “No, you’ve only been raving about it for a week!” Lina shot a glare at Anne, who gave her a smug grin in response. She wasn’t wrong, though. Lina had been hyping herself up for this all week. It would be a day to have all to herself. No work, no house cleaning, nothing. She was free for the whole day.

    Cathy rested her chin on her palm, a knowing smirk on her face as she said, “She’s gonna spend it all day sleeping, you know that right?”

    A collective nod went around the table. Even Lina couldn’t deny that she’d sleep until noon. “I’ll sleep until one and then I’ll spend the rest of the day watching movies,” Lina said. “Me-time is all I need.” A small moment of silence fell over the group, before a tray was set down on Lina’s left. Rose scent drifted lightly into her nose and Lina’s chest warmed.

    “Sorry, the line was long,” Jane apologized, sliding in to sit beside Lina.

    “For yogurt?” Anne asked, looking up from Kat’s phone.

    “They don’t just have yogurt, Anne.” 

    As the group tucked into their food, Catalina began rethinking her previous statement. While, yes, she did want to spend some time to herself, there was a certain someone she really wanted to spend the day with. Casting a look to her left, Catalina noticed Jane sweep her blonde hair back over one shoulder, lifting her spoon and savoring her parfait. It was undeniably cute, to which it had no right to be.

    Lina was a woman of her word, and denying a crush was far beneath her. If she were in any other situation, she’d have asked Jane out by now. Problem is; Jane isn’t open. She’s been dating some guy named Henry for four years now. It sunk Catalina’s heart to see the sweet blonde around the pompous jerk.

    “So, we all know what Cath’s gonna be up to,” Kitty began, “anyone else have any fun plans?”

    “I finished my project for Monday,” Anna said nonchalantly. “I’m just gonna work on my wall tomorrow.” Kat brightened upon hearing that, leaning over to Anna with her classic kitty eyes. Anna chuckled and booped the younger woman’s nose. “Yes, you can come over and help.”

    After shoveling a forkful of salad into her mouth, Anne said, “I will be working out tomorrow. So, Lina, if you wanna join-”

    “Don’t call me Lina,” Catalina enforced, tightening her grip on her chopsticks and fixing a glare on the shorter woman. Anne raised her hands defensively, swallowing her mouthful.

    “Just know the offer’s out there.” Anne returned to eating, occasionally eyeing Lina suspiciously. Cathy chuckled, sending her cousin a knowing look.

    “Oh, yes! Lina, what are your plans for tomorrow?” Jane asked, placing a hand on Catalina’s arm.

    “Wait, how come she-”

    “Sleep and watch movies.” Lina interjected, ignoring Anne’s declaration. Turning to Jane with a soft smile, she continued. “It won’t be exciting, but it’ll be relaxing.”

    Jane nodded, a sweet smile on her face. It amazed Catalina how interested Jane could seem about anything. It wasn’t fake interest either. Lina could sit and describe paint drying and Jane would look at her with interest dancing in her wide, azure eyes.

    “What’re you gonna be up to, Janey?” Kit questioned, leaning on the table. “I’m sure Ari doesn’t wanna be alone all day.” The way she glanced at Lina was far too teasing to be accidental. The worst part about her crush was how apparently obvious it was. Anna and Cathy were the denser of the group, and they figured it out first.

    Jane’s smile faltered, and it turned anxious. She prodded her yogurt, nudging a blueberry around silently. Dread befell Lina as a tense silence fell over the table.

    “You’re kidding, right?” Cathy’s eyes were firm as she asked this, fixed on Jane solemnly. Anne did her best to hide her disappointment, hiding her face behind her curtain of hair. “I thought you were gonna drop him!”

    “I was.” Jane pushed her blueberry under the yogurt, refusing to meet her friends’ eyes. “I told him Tuesday, and he asked for another chance-”

    “And you gave him one?” Anna demanded, causing Jane to flinch. The red clad woman frowned and sat back down, folding her arms. Lina could understand her friend’s frustration. Jane had come to Anne’s on Monday night, sobbing about how she’d caught Henry sending texts to another woman, asking ‘what to bring’ and ‘Jane won’t know’. The group had had a talk that night, and Jane promised to stick it to Henry the next day.

    However, as per usual, Henry squirreled his way out of a break-up by promising to “make it up” with a date.

    “Look, he seemed really genuine,” Jane reasoned. No one missed how soft her voice had gone when Anna had raised her own. “If he gets too drunk tonight or makes an excuse to cancel, I’m dropping him. He hasn’t forgotten all week.”

    Lina’s heart clenched at Jane’s broken tone. She was convincing herself that Henry would show, rather than her friends. She hated hearing Jane’s attempts to salvage the tiny pieces of her relationship with Henry, but she hated putting Jane down even more.

    Placing a hand on the blonde’s, Catalina said, “Just be safe, okay? If anything happens, call us.” She fixed her gaze on Jane, trying to steady her breathing. As much as she hated it, the date was going to happen. She just had to be ready to catch Jane when it fell out.

    Jane widened her fingers. Not by much, but just enough for Lina’s fingers to brush in between. The action sparked warmth in the taller woman’s chest, and she watched Jane nod slowly. “Thank you, Lina,” Jane whispered. She looked up, azure eyes void. “May I excuse myself?”

    “Of course, querida,” Lina replied, shifting to allow Jane room to leave the table. The blonde gave her friend a tiny smile, before retreating to the restrooms.

    Upon looking back at the table, Lina noticed all her friends staring at her, dismay in their eyes. Cathy’s expression said it all, and Lina let her defeated sigh slip. There was no point in trying to fix the problem anymore. There had been a time when Lina would purposefully make plans ahead of Henry, or ask Jane to things first, which kept Henry at a safe distance. Her attempts had declined over the years upon seeing no improvement in their relationship.

    Anna laid a hand on Lina’s shoulder, to which the curly-haired woman simply nodded.

    Tomorrow felt much less exciting now.

    Lina had been right. She’d slept in until one on Saturday, and only got out of bed when her stomach growled at her for food.

    She slumped around her house in a hoodie and sweatpants. She had ordered take out for lunch, which she then had delivered to her flat. She’d never done that before, which made her realize why Anne loved lazy weekends.

    Lunch was followed by a short yoga session. Lina had picked up yoga in her second year of college. Sitting all day was awful on her back and joints, and she definitely didn’t get enough exercise from just walking to and from campus. Kat had suggested yoga, and Lina was rather impressed with the results it had. Her posture had improved and she no longer felt the need to fidget in her seat.

    “How’s the wall coming along?” Lina asked, face buried in her arms as she reached for her toes.

    Anna’s voice came through the phone. “It’s halfway done,” she answered. “There’s paint all over me, though, and Kat’s not helping.”

    “Excuse me!” Kit’s voice came from somewhere else in the room, making Lina chuckle. “It’s not my fault you put so much stuff where I can’t reach.”

    “Anyways,” Anna continued, “how’re you holding up? Being lazy must be so hard.”

    Lina sat up, letting out a breath of air. “I don’t know how Anne does it,” Lina replied, feigning exhaustion, before reaching down to her other foot.

    Anna laughed, disappearing from the screen as she continued painting.

    That call had lasted the hour Lina did her yoga. Anna had hung up when she and Kat ran out for food, waving bye. Lina rolled her mat up and tucked it away in the corner of her living room. With a final stretch to loosen herself up, she changed back into a hoodie and sweats.

    The next couple hours were spent napping and scrolling through her phone. A gentle rain had begun to fall, pattering on the windows. Lina checked her phone. 9:43. I should eat something.

    She headed for the kitchen and began rummaging for something to heat up. She pulled out a container of mac n’ cheese, shrugged, and popped it into the microwave.

    Wine goes with that, right?

    Looking back in the fridge, Lina took notice of the wine bottle. It wasn’t until she pulled it out that she realized something.

    This was the bottle Jane had given her for her birthday. It was a Spanish red wine, similar to what her abuela used to drink. Lina had tugged Jane into the tightest hug, thanking her over and over.

    As one memory of Jane took hold, more and more began to flood Lina’s mind. Memories of school musicals, dances, mall outings, amusement park trips. Every moment with Jane was held close to Lina’s heart, which was breaking with each memory remembered. The thought of her being held by that pig of man was worse than someone ripping Lina’s heart out.

    “I should check up on her.” She had gone to reach for her phone, before thinking better of it. No. I don’t wanna piss Henry off by texting during their date. While the thought of Jane on a date with Henry was far from pleasing, it was better than thinking about all the times Jane had looked at Lina as if she were the sun. Lina knew if her mind strayed to Jane, she’d be tense the rest of the night.

    Shaking her anxieties off, Catalina poured a glass of wine and waited for her food to finish heating up. She watched the rain drops race down her windows, the rain picking up outside.

    The microwave dinged and she pulled the mac n’ cheese out, hissing as the bowl burned her hands. Setting it down, Lina retreated to the living room to search Disney+ for a movie. She settled on Lady and the Tramp, placing the remote back on the coffee table.

    And no, not because it was Jane’s favorite.

    Lina ran back for her dinner, tucking her phone into her sweat pockets before carrying her bowl and wine out the living room. She reclined back on the arm of the couch, wine glass on the end table and bowl cradled in her lap.

    It was halfway through the movie when Lina felt something vibrate against her stomach. She groaned and dug around for her phone. She had just gotten into the perfect position where everything was stretched just right.

    She pulled her phone out, took one look at the contact, and her adrenaline shot up. She slid the green button and quickly held the phone to her ear.

    “Jane, what’s wrong?”

    There was silence on the other end, aside from rain and the faint sound of breathing.

    “Lina…”

    Catalina was already pulling her coat on with that one word. Jane had sounded shattered on the other end, her sniffles coming through the rain.

    “Stay right there, bebé,” Lina ordered. “I’m coming to get you. Where are you?”

    “Lina, I-I’m so sorry. H-He-”

    “Hush, querida, don’t speak,” Lina interrupted, grabbing her keys and hurrying out the door, forgoing the slides that sat at the door. “Are you home?”

    A choked sob echoed in the phone before Jane whispered, “Yes.”

    “Alright, hun, I’m on my way,” she assured. “Just stay on the phone, please.”

    A whimpered ‘ok’ was all she got to confirm Jane had heard. Catalina watched the rain smack off her window, and she gripped the steering wheel tighter. She could only assume two things, neither of which she wanted to dwell on. Jane’s broken tone was already enough for Lina to rip the steering wheel right off the dashboard.

    “Don’t worry, Jane, I’m almost there,” Lina murmured, taking the turn at the intersection.

    It was a fight to not go over the speed limit, to which she was already surpassing. All the while she spoke words of comfort into the phone, Jane’s sobs echoing in her ear.

    She pulled to a stop in front of Jane’s apartment complex, and through the heavy downpour, she took notice of a petite blonde. Lina leapt from her car, hurrying to Jane’s side. She was seated under the small overhang of the building, but she was absolutely drenched.

    Mascara ran down Jane’s cheeks in rivers, the rain water spreading it over her face. Her blonde hair, which Catalina could only assume had once been wavy and conditioned, was soaked and mattered. Blonde strands plastered to Jane’s face, and her chin quivered as she forced back tears.

    “Oh, cariño,” Lina gasped, taking notice of Jane’s dress. “Usaste el nuevo.”

    A sob broke through Jane’s lips and she buried her face in her hands. Lina knelt down, gently pulling the blonde to the ground, and tucked the sobbing woman into her chest. Jane’s hands fisted into Lina’s coat instantly, and she cried into her friend’s neck.

    “Oh, Lina, I-I’m such an idiot!” Jane cried, knuckles jabbing into Catalina’s chest. “I should’ve listened to you! You were right; you were all right! I’m so stupid!”

    “No, no, querida,” Lina soothed, pressing Jane closer to her body. “You’re not stupid, never say that.”

    Jane shook with another sob. “B-But if I had just listened to you-” Jane paused to sniff, another sob choking out. “I-If I had just dropped h-him like you said, then you wouldn’t have to be h-here in the rain with me.”

    “Jane, no.” Lina sat back, holding Jane back to look her in the eyes. “It doesn’t matter what day it is, nor the weather. I’d come to you in a blizzard on foot if you needed me.” Shrugging out of her coat, Lina pulled the garment over Jane’s shoulders and pulled her in. “Now, how about you come with me? I have wine.”

    Another sniffle followed by a nod against her chest was all the confirmation Lina needed. She took Jane’s hands in her own, helping her to her feet. Catalina pulled the coat over Jane’s head while she opened the car door.

    Holding the door open, Lina helped Jane duck into the car. Once she was situated, Lina ran to the driver’s side and quickly dove in. The rain was pounding the roof of the car, the window being splattered with drops faster than the wipers could clean them.

    Jane was shivering in the seat, clutching Catalina’s coat tight to her body. Lina’s heart sank and she offered her hand to the woman. The blonde took it immediately, silent tears still flowing down her cheeks. The drive home was silent, golden eyes fixed ahead while azure focused down, hands intertwined.

    Lina scooped Jane out of the passenger seat, carrying her to the door and setting her down only to open the door. Jane kept her face tucked into Lina’s neck until they reached the bathroom.

    “Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?” Lina whispered, cupping Jane’s sticky cheeks. Jane nodded weakly and Lina began searching for the make-up wipes.

    She pulled the wipes out and gently swiped it over Jane’s cheek. The blonde tensed, but slowly relaxed into the movements. Lina tossed the now-black wipe and pulled another out. This time, when she wiped Jane’s cheek, Lina felt her press into her touch. Her cheeks warmed with a pink dust, and she was thankful for Jane’s shut eyes.

    “Do you want to get a shower?” Lina gently brushed Jane’s arm, noting the goosebumps trailing up her skin. Jane nodded again, and Lina pulled a white towel out from under the sink. “You’re favorite color.”

    A tiny, watery smile tugged at Jane’s lips, and Lina mentally patted herself on the back. “I have an extra loofa in there, it’s the black one, and you can use my body wash and stuff.”

    She moved to leave the bathroom, when Jane let a small noise escape. Lina looked back and her heart melted at the sight of Jane brushing through her wet hair. “C-Can you wait outside? I don’t want to be alone…” Her voice drifted off towards the end, and Lina returned to her friend’s side.

    Taking Jane’s small, shivering hand in her warm ones, Lina looked sincerely into Jane’s eyes. “I’ll be just beyond the door, alright? You can shout to check.”

    Jane’s eyes softened, and a new emotion flickered in them. Lina slowly released the blonde’s hand and retreated from the bathroom.

    She stood outside of the bathroom for the entirety of Jane’s shower.

    Not once did Jane check if Lina had stayed.

    The bathroom door creaked open, and Lina stood up from the wall. Jane stepped close to her, wrapped in the towel. Her hand brushed Lina’s, and the taller woman took it gently. “I have a fresh load of laundry in my room,” she said, leading Jane to her bedroom. “I’ll get you something warm.”

    Lina found a sweater and pair of sweats that would hopefully tie tight enough for Jane. She left the blonde to change, and her jaw nearly hit the floor when she came back in.

    The sweater fell down to Jane’s mid-thigh, hanging off one shoulder. Lina’s face flushed and she coughed into her hand, attempting to hide her gay panic. Stop it. Jane needs you. Swallowing, Lina stepped into the room. “How’re you feeling?”

    Jane looked down, bringing her hands up to clutch her forearms. “Better, I guess,” she mumbled. Her drying blonde hair fell over her face in a curtain.

    Lina made her way towards the blonde. She placed a gentle hand on the small of Jane’s back. Suddenly, arms looped around Lina’s neck and tugged her in. Jane’s nose brushed the column of her throat, causing a blush to spread up the taller woman’s cheeks.

    “Thank you, Lina,” Jane whispered, voice tight. Lina smiled, wrapping her arms around Jane’s waist and setting her chin on her head.

    “Anytime, mi querida,” Lina murmured.

    They ended up on the couch, Lina reclined against the armrest once more with Jane cuddled into her side. Both nursed a glass of Spanish wine, eyes fixed on the TV. Lina threw occasional looks towards Jane, checking to make sure the blonde was okay.

    In truth, Lina wanted to ask her exactly what had happened. Jane was always down after dates with Henry, but never was she so upset to the point of crying. Taking a sip of her wine, Lina turned her gaze on Jane. “Do you want to talk about it?”

    Jane took a long sip of wine, lips remaining pressed to the glass. Lina bit her lip and set her glass down. “You don’t have to,” she added. “I just think it’d be best if I knew a little.”

    “No, you’re right,” Jane said, clutching the neck of her glass. “You deserve to know.”

    Lina set her hand on Jane’s shoulder, pulling her a bit closer. “Jane, I’m always gonna be here for you, alright?” She fixed her eyes on the blonde. “If you’re not ready to talk, that’s perfectly okay. I just want to know at some point.”

    Jane nodded, taking a small sip from her wine. Silence followed, to which Lina picked up her own glass and returned to watching the movie. If Jane didn’t want to share, that was fine with her. She’d wait for years if that’s what Jane needed.

    “He left me there.”

    She nearly choked on her wine, spitting it back into the glass. Jane looked at her with worried eyes, placing a hand on her side. Lina set her glass down and sharply turned to face Jane. “He what?”

    Jane bit her lip, averting her eyes from Lina’s. “He said he’d pick me up at nine,” Jane said. Her voice was tight with sadness and underlying anger. “He promised me. He kept telling me all week that it’d be great.” She faltered, staring down at her drink.

    Lina’s dread was replaced by rage. Jane had sounded so sure that Henry would make it up to her. She sounded far from excited, but she was hopeful. Even Lina had a tiny spark of hope that Henry would make an effort for Jane. But he hadn’t even bothered to show up!

    “I should have listened to you.” Jane sounded defeated, her fingers tapping the glass. “I guess that’s one thing he was honest about. I really am an idiot.”

    Lina slid off the couch and took Jane’s hands, holding them to her chest. “Jane Seymour, you listen to me.” She waited until Jane’s azure eyes met her golden ones. “You are a wonderful woman. You’ve been my dearest friend all my life, and I would rather freeze hell over than listen to you speak horrible things about yourself. You are such a kind woman, with a heart undeserving of the cruelty in this world.

    “You are not an idiot, and I will keep telling you this until you realize it’s true.” Lina moved her hands to cup Jane’s face, brushing her cheek lightly. “So please, all I ask of you, is to remember how truly remarkable you are; both inside and out.”

    Jane’s eyes glittered with tears, small streams glistening down her cheeks. She cupped one of the hands on her cheeks, pressing into it as she nodded. Lina smiled softly, stretching forward onto her knees to touch her forehead to Jane’s.

    “You’re so kind to me,” Jane murmured, a watery smile appearing on her face. Lina chuckled and kissed the blonde’s forehead.

    “Only ever for you.”

    The soft look of trust that flushed over Jane’s eyes, along with the tiny giggle, was enough to melt Lina’s heart. She pulled herself back onto the couch, and giggled as Jane snuggled back into her. As Jane’s head settled beneath Catalina’s chin, the blonde whispered, “Thank you, again, Lina. For everything you’ve done.”

    Lina pulled the blanket over the two and held Jane close. “I’ll always be here for you, querida.”

    The two stayed close, cocooned in the blanket as the Disney movie carried on quietly. Lina melted into Jane’s presence, burying her nose in soft blonde hair. She felt Jane smile against her neck and Lina placed another kiss on the crown of Jane’s head.

    “I love you, Lina.”

    Jane’s breath tickled Lina’s neck as she spoke. Her words sent goosebumps up Lina’s skin, but she replied without hesitation. “I love you, too, Jane.”

    And though she knew they both meant different things, one of platonic origin and the other romantic, Lina knew that Jane meant it. That she loved Lina as much as she loved Jane. And that was enough to make her forget about destroying Henry.