#okay whatever i'm truly DONE for the day lmao

[c4tto626]

what the fuck is going on why is my day suddenly cursed? last book i had to scan for work was 1004 pages, which. yeah annoying but i finished with 5 minutes to spare so whatever i'm done work week over! i get home. and step immediately into cat vomit. because somehow one of my cats has managed to vomit in 10 (!) neat little piles over the entire two meters of hallway in my apartment. fortunately i stepped into it with my shoes still on. unfortunately now i get to scrape cat vomit out of my soles. anyways. i start cleaning this all up, but my cats are obviously excited to see me so they try to get to me and i keep having to push them away because my hallway is very narrow and this is a fucking vomit obstacle course and it's just not fun for anyone involved (mostly me). as i'm doing this, cleaning up little piles of vomit while shoving cats away like i'm playing a tower defense game, a basket of shower supplies just falls to the ground in my bathroom? why? who the fuck knows. miniature earthquake? gravitational anomaly? bathroom's haunted? anyways, shampoo bottles and stuff all over the bathroom floor, creating obstacle course #2 as i carry my little tissue baggies of vomit to the toilet. while my cats obviously keep following me every step of the way. and then i realized i forgot to get groceries

[cavinginhisfvce]

Hidden Moments | Jey Uso x Rhea Ripley

a fic i started a long ass time ago, and posted a bit of on a different account, but now i want to actually finish it so!! here’s part one lmao

It started as simple ribbing, Jey had just wanted to get under Dominik's skin. He wanted to send a message that the offer to join The Judgement Day had never been more than a joke to him. The memes, the fanart. It was all meant to play into Jey not joining their merry band of emo wrestlers. He had no real feelings towards Rhea, he had no intentions of pursuing her, or taking her away from Dominik. It started as a joke, and it was meant to remain one.

That was weeks and weeks ago, Jey still wouldn't join The Judgement Day, he wanted nothing to do with the four of them. Especially Dom and Rhea.

Yet…Jey had let Rhea into his hotel room when she came knocking.

Just as he had two nights before, and almost a dozen more before that.

He knows he shouldn't have, he knows that the first time it happened could've been a mistake if it hadn't continued to happen.

Rhea doesn't give him the chance to deny her, not that he would. She's on him the moment the door clicks shut, and all thoughts of Dom are gone.

Her lips are soft, and she tastes like a tropical drink, that Jey knows the source of is the gum she chews. The flavor she started chewing when she found out it was his favorite. 

He briefly wonders if Dominik has noticed she switched from minty gum, to fruity. 

Rhea senses his distraction, and she isn't at all shy to deepen the kiss, or guide tattooed arms around her waist to ultimately be drawn in closer by.

Jey follows her lead, as he often does when they're in this situation, or ones similar. He loses himself in the kiss, hands trailing from Rhea's waist. Lower, and lower. 

She hums her approval, though the sound is muffled by the sudden shrill of a phone. Her displeasure at being interrupted is obvious in the way she sucks her teeth and fishes for her phone with only one hand.

Once she has the device, the face of Dominik Mysterio flashes on the screen. Rhea tenses, but the hand in Jey's hair, the hand he has no recollection of how it got there, scratches gently at his scalp.

Clearing her throat, Rhea answers, her tone gives nothing away, even if she sounds slightly breathless, 

"I'm a little busy, Dom-Dom. Is everything okay?"

Jey can't hear Dominik's reply, but Rhea frowns at whatever he says, nodding despite not being seen by the younger. 

"I'll be back downstairs in a bit, can't it wait?" 

Their eyes lock, and Rhea smiles at him.

It's a warm smile. Inviting. Unlike the smirks she wears on TV, this is a thing reserved for only a few. Jey knows as much, because he's seen her smile at Dominik, Damian and Finn similarly.

"We can come down now then, Dom. I wanted to actually ask him before dragging him with me, but if you're so eager…"

Jey's ears start ringing with the uncertainty that courses through him at her words. 

His confusion must show on his face, because Rhea is cupping his cheek and nodding lightly. 

What she's nodding at, he doesn't know. All he knows is he feels slightly sick, and like the earth was just upended in front of him.

Before long, Rhea is hanging up the phone and drawing his attention back to her.

"I'll be straightforward, because you look like you're about to throw up, baby."

"Don' call me that right now…" He curses himself for how weak his voice comes out.

Logically, Jey knew this thing with Rhea was merely sex, even if she looked at him like she could truly love him. Like she could want him in a way that was more than blowing off steam.

Sometimes they'd embrace after everything was done, and she'd tell him about her day, mindlessly tracing his tattoos and leaving kisses along his bare skin.

Those intimate moments usually went unbroken for hours before Rhea would have to sneak away once more.

It never dawned on him just how much his time with her meant to him, or how much he'd grown to rely on her presence. He hadn't realized he'd caught feelings for her.

Not that any of it would ever matter.

"Hey, come back to me, Sweet Face. I can explain, just let me, yeah?"

Her accent is thicker than usual, her bare face giving away the emotions she tries so hard to mask in the public. 

Jey nods his head, his bottom lip tucked between his teeth as he does.

"I've wanted to tell you for a bit, but Dom is getting suspicious about us…he thinks I’m working to get you to join us." She pauses, pursing her lips.

"He had no idea what’s happening with us, and I’d prefer it to stay that way. For now at least.”

She holds his gaze, her makeup free eyes somehow more intense.

"Dominik will only drop his suspicions if…” She trails off, her fingers toying with the ends of her hair.

Jey is holding his breath at this point, his brain effectively overloaded with information, and his heart with unidentifiable emotions.

"You join us, for just a few days. Nothing official, nothing with a paper trail. He just wants to spend actual time with you, he wants you to become friends. And I know that sounds weird, but it's what he wants."

Breathing out a soft sigh, he shakes his head, his lips curling into a small snarl.

“Is that what this has all been about, Rhea? You wanted to manipulate me into joining y’all’s merry little band of misfits?”

Almost immediately Rhea is denying the accusation, her eyes squinting as she glances at the man she’s grown more than fond of these past few weeks. 

“Baby…Jey, that isn’t the truth at all! I’d be happy to remain in our bubble like this, without the rest of them interfering, but Dom won’t drop his concerns, I’ve tried for weeks.”

Jey is silent for a beat, it’s almost deafening to Rhea, it makes her stomach churn with discomfort. It feels too real. It being the chance she could lose Jey, and lose his beautiful personality. His smile, the one reserved for moments between him and her. It’s suffocating in a way she never could have imagined, and each passing moment, it seems like Jey may truly cut ties with her. Leave her. It shouldn’t hurt her feelings as much as it does, but…she can feel the tears stinging at her waterline, her breathing hitching.

Before the first tear can slip down milky skin, Jey is reaching up and cupping her cheek, and despite her worries, she leans into the warmth of his touch; sighing lightly.

“Okay.” 

Her eyes are widening at the simple word, her fingers loosely curling around his wrist. 

“Wait, really?”

Jey, holding her gaze, nods his head once, his determination evident.

“Yeah, really. This ain’t long term though, Rhea. I’m doing this to be with you. Not for anyone or anything else.”

It makes her cheeks flush red, to hear him admit that so freely. She can’t help but to pull him into a deep kiss, hoping the press of lips can convey everything her words fail to.

They stay entwined for a moment longer, before Jey is reluctantly pulling away, his hands though, is wrapped firmly around hers. 

“Ight, let’s get this over with, Mamas.”

Rhea and him share one final, meaningful glance, before they’re making their way to The Judgement Day’s shared hotel room. 

It was now or never.

[transmascaraa]

bf!lyney headcannons!

you have a nightmare and your pretty boyfriend is there for you...

bf!lyney x m!reader

author's note: so this is basically based on a dream i had last night lmao so i thought of writing some nightmare comfort😻 it was a dream but it was sad n scary. you can start reading rn. the rest of this is the nightmare and it'll be the nightmare used in this lmao🫶 | basically me and lyney were on some type of mission, i remember first i was running behind him telling him he's doing really good or whatever and then he entered some old crushed building and i entered just after him and he wasn't there. so i looked out the window, looked up, and saw him hanging, bleeding, i remember a drip of blood getting on my face and then i like started crying in my dream idk then i woke up. help😰

"shh... it's okay..."

-both of you were sleeping, wrapped in eachother's arms, nothing seemed wrong

-until you started shifting around, and finally waking up. sitting up, breathing heavily, heart pounding, and crying

-lyney woke up because he didn't feel you in his arms anymore

-"mmmon amour?... what's wrong?..." he sleepily asked, rubbing his eyes and sitting up to see you better

-you turned to look at him, crying even more now.

-but you just hugged him tight while burying your face in his neck

-"l-lyney..." you sobbed

-he was worried and started thinking about anything and everything he's ever done.

-what happened?

-"mon chéri... what's wrong?..." he asked you while planting a soft kiss to the top of your head

-"n-nightmare..." you muttered under your breath, but enough for him to hear.

-"shh... breathe..." he just held you tighter and whispered a quiet "it's okay..." to you.

-after calming down a bit, you pulled away from him and started rubbing the little space between your nose and your cheek.

-you visibly wanted to clean something.

-"what wrong? you have nothing there?..." he asked you, a bit confused.

-"i-i... i-in the dream... b-blood..." you couldn't continue that easily, you put your head on lyney's shoulder and let your hands rest in his lap

-"take your time, my dear..." he was patient with you, no wonder you loved him.

-"we were on a mission, you and me... and... you went into an old building and disappeared... a-and then... i went in... i didn't see you so i looked out the window, t-then looked up..." you started crying again.

-"mhm..." he listened to you intently, wrapping his arms around you again. he was already concerned.

-"i-i saw you... h-... ha-... h-hanging... a-and bleeding... a-a-and a drip of b-blood... fell on my face... t-then i just cried..." you hugged him back tight and sobbed once again.

-only now you know how much it would hurt you for him to die.

-you couldn't take it.

-he was everything.

-lyney was worried after hearing that, and cupped your face, making you look at him.

-he wiped away your endless tears with his thumbs.

-"i know you have high beliefs in the meanings of dreams, but i'm right here, mon chéri, and that drop of blood doesn't mean anything. i'm alright... nothing bad will happen to me..." he rubbed the place of where the blood was supposed to be and kissed your nose.

-"i-i'm glad... t-thank you, lyney..." you took a few deep breaths and felt a bit better.

-"you're welcome, [name]..." he then kissed your forehead.

-"please stay... i love you..." you said to him, leaning your head on one of his hands.

-"i will... i love you too, mon chéri..." he finally kissed you on the lips. softly, and truly.

-the two of you wouldn't know where you'd be if you hadn't found the other one.

-you two were one.

-inseparable<3

~~~~~

i love angst/fluff sm it's my way of living.

this dream made me sad tho thinking of his 5th story(i think it was the 5th???)

anyways i hope you guys have a good day/night and remember to have more normal dreams‼️

[karingu]

Chapter 474 made me want InuKag to break up (temporarily)

There's something that always bothered me about this chapter, but I finally have the words to explain what it is. (This is the one with Kaou, the weird sadness eating demon that made Inuyasha have a dream of Kikyo and cry blood and stuff.)

Sigh. I don't agree with how the ending of this chapter was written (sorry, Rumiko). It made me, an InuKagger, feel devastatingly frustrated about InuKag's relationship for the first time... specifically for Kagome's dignity.

Okay, so Inuyasha's thoughts basically got blasted on speakerphone in the previous Ch:

UM, HI? Kagome is RIGHT FUCKIN' THERE. God, at that point, for Kagome's sake, I had had enough of it. I love InuKag, but in this moment, I don't give a frank fuck what Inuyasha has done to prove he loves Kagome, or what he truly thinks — for Kagome to hear that is so. damn. hurtful. And you know those words had hurt her: they echoed in her mind in a later panel. And she cried.

Up until now, Inuyasha had been reaping the benefits of Kagome's patience. But Kagome is HURTING as much as he is, and she keeps choosing not to show him that side of her because she feels sorry for him… GAH!

KAGOME, I LOVE YOU!!! BUT CAN WE? NOT SPOIL INUYASHA TOO MUCH? PLS...

+

I don’t mind that it took a villain like Kaou for Inuyasha to find out how much Kagome was hurting because of him. Pretty gnarly. However, I'm upset that Kagome herself didn’t fully admit to Inuyasha how hurt she got. And she shut up Kaou before he could say that the "cause of her pain"... was Inuyasha.

I get it — her reasons were personal. But I cannot express how FREAKIN' disappointed I still was about that. Let Inuyasha find out, DAMN IT!!!

I know; Kikyo had just passed on. Kagome was trying to be considerate, and Inuyasha's guilt toward Kikyo was probably made raw again — so I'm not faulting him for his feelings at all. Truly, I understand he's having hard time. AT THE SAME TIME, REALISTICALLY SPEAKING, it is clear it was not healthy for him to be in a relationship with Kagome at that point. And likewise for Kagome.

I wanted Kagome to stand up for herself. When Inuyasha told her that he dreamed of Kikyo, I wanted her to tell him something like, "Hey, I know she's on your mind, and that's okay, really, but... I just don't think I can endure it right now."

How would Inuyasha react to that? He’d probably be disquieted, but I think he’d try to accept it.

Yes, I guess it could come off as "selfish," because Inuyasha is grieving and having a hard time. But look... Kagome is hurt. She had been withstanding it all this time... she had been selfless enough. It is not selfish; it’s an act of self-love. She is her own person, no? She's entitled to look out for herself too, regardless of the circumstances.

Strength is also knowing when to retreat.

Instead of this chapter ending on a jokey note, I truly wanted Kagome to put a pause on their relationship. Have a lil’ time-out. Let Inuyasha grieve for Kikyo properly. Let Kagome be free to feel whatever it is for herself, with no strings attached.

Then, they can reconcile later when they're both at a better place.

From a writer's standpoint, WOOWEE that would've been a great cliffhanger. Tune in next week! LOL (Ok tbh Inuyasha prob wouldn’t last more than 3 days or something before he wants to get back with Kagome LMAO… but at least he knows how Kagome truly feels.)

No matter how much I love InuKag, I recognize a bad situation when I see one. I really... wanted Takahashi to make Kagome take a stand for her own well being. Just this once. JUST THIS DAMN ONCE.

It may seem important to put others first… but man, give yourself some love, too, Kagome.

Sorry… maybe I’m getting too carried away. (I’m seeing too much of my past self in her here.) And who knows? Maybe Takahashi didn’t have time for them to break up, or did this to show that Kagome, still a teenager, doesn’t always make perfect decisions. At any rate, I think Kagome's weakness is being too understanding sometimes :(

[thatcheeseycandle]

SPOILERS FOR YIAU: IPOS CHP. 38, "6XX66 - Merry Hampton"

——

Hi hello, currently me before posting this looking over the post to add in stuff I couldnt type down, so sorry for the delays on promised posts considering I'm at a hotel with my parents to visit family)

But thankfully by the time I'm posting this, it's the last day before I go home tomorrow so hopefully I can speedrun some projects to throw them here

And ah the the paragraph with a bold font will explain why this reaction was so late

——

//IM IN THE CAR AS OF STARTING THIS, HEADING BACK TO THE HOTEL (CAUSE YEAH I WENT TO ONE WITH MY PARENTS TO VISIT FAMILY), I REBLOGGED THE CHAPTER

ITS HERE OHMYGOAPAHADNAUAHOAH

IM EXPLODING SO MUCH IM HOLDING IN SO MUCH-

AND WE START IT OFF WITH TYDFIL WOOOOOOOOOOOO

AAAAAANDDD I HAD TO FRESHEN UP, OKAY LETS CONTINUE YEAH

Tydfil TYDFIL AH NOO :(

Current me here, insert a bit where I go silent reading and how I dont know how to word my thoughts in this. I remember my feelings being mixed between guilt and anger towards Merfyn 6024

Fuck wait ITS BLACK SMOKE AH NOOOOO SNAP OUT OF IT TYDFIL

"She felt like her boiler was about to up off her frames in fright" HOLY GOD????? CHRIST SOMEONE HELP THE POOR GIRL SHES HAD ENOUGH-

NO TYDFIL NO NO DONT DO THAT TO YOUR BRAKES EVEN MORE NOO

"She wanted her comforting reassuring presence but every time she called out to the old, kind engine there was no answer. Tydfil truly was alone." MY GOD. THIS. AAAAAAMYGOD

NOTYDFIL NO THEY ARENT GONNA BE AFTER YOU NO NO IS ALL OKAY- NO TYDFIL NOOO

OI STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER OR I SWEAR TO GOD

What the

OH.

Ay ay AY HENRY??? HENRY ITS HIM LETS GOOO

This is a very interesting pair up, now Im curious how this goes👀

"This had to be some sort of trick, right? This Henry was tricking her, trying to decieve her like all the rest." nO NOO NO HE ISNT

BUT SHIT SHE ISNT GOKNNA BELIEVE THAT, SHES TRAUMATISED ENOGUH

Yet again, current me before posting this here, I loved this scene between Tydfil and Henry where it's just mainly dialogue (until Tydfil breaks it with her audacity LMAO) its a relaxing sort of scene to read. Especially after the whole adventure that is me and my parents making our way back to the hotel room lol

"What's the point of this?! This is stupid!" tYDFIL LMAOOO TYDFIL YOU NEEDA CALM YOUR SHITE

"Edward speaks highly of you" FUCK YEAAAHHHHH THEIR RELATIONSHIPS ARE TYING EACHOTHER AND ARE USEFUL WOOOOOOO

LOVE IT

"Why would someone try to hurt me if I was a good engine?" GOSH DAMN. DAMN I

THE FIRST SHOT, PREPARING MYSELF

Now that THATS REAL TALK, POSITIVE REAL TALK, APPLAUSE FOR HENRY RQ CAUSE DAMN

And this is another unique dynamic I look forward to seeing in the future, I cant describe the feeling of it but Im getting uncle and niece vibes from them, but either way I LOVE EHM

wHAT THE FUCK

RHION AY ITS RHION ITS HIM

FUCK RIGHT, BLACKSMOKE, YEAH.

"The Black Smoke, or whatever Ms Parsons had done to him had completely and utterly stripped him of any warmth, any hope, any semblance of warmth" Ms Parsons when I catch your arse WHEN I FUCKING CATCH YOU I SWEAR TO GOD

Okay yeah Im gonna appear a lot from the current, this scene, my heart ACHED I tell you ACHED. RHION YOU POOR SOUL (I was speechless in this)

No no RHION HE ISNT YOUR BROTHER ANYMORE

Okay well he never fuckin was

WHAT THE FUCK???? WHAT AND/OR WHO IS THIS

Current me, I dropped my reading device, and I nearly fell off the bed in this

DROP THE FUCKING SHITE WHAT

BUT HES- WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING OONNNN??????????????????????????

NO RHION NOOOOAOAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO BO DONT YOU FUCKING DO THIS NO NOOOOOOOOO

MALLARD I SWEAR TO GOD

WHAT????? WHAT WHAT HUH

NOAOAOAOAOOOOAOAAOAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAOSOAOAOOOOO RHION NAOAOOO FUCK NOOOO

HE CANT BE FUCKING DEAD NO. NO HE CANT PLEAAAAAASSEEE

Summary of that rant to this bit: FUCK YOU 6024 AND MS PARSONS, I WILL BE AFTER YOU I SWEAR TO GOD

Okay OKAY YEAH. LETS GO INTO THE NEXT BIT.

What the fuck- WAIT WAAIAPSHSNAKABDDKHFBDOSHDHDXJ

POLLYPOFLTAJAOSBDLZGCNSIFN

CALM, CALM OKAY CALM.

What the fuck WHAT THE FUCK WHAY FUAOAKAPPAPAOAAOAO WHAT WHAT

WHERE THE FICK IS POLLY???????????????????

Ay AY A\Y AY AY AY ITS THE BOOK THE JOURNAL FIAUAPDJNDIABHDS

ITS THE BOOK OHMYGOD

ITS NORTHS JOURNAL

THIS IS OUR VERSION OF THE GRAVITY FALLS JOURNALS. OH MY GOD.

Norths sealshspa NORTHS SEAL???????????

NORTH AHS A FUCKING SEAL?????????

Now this is a detail I'll be keeping an eye out for if there are more GNJournal entries (or anything that shows North's journal) coming

MERYEGAKAPAUSVZVUKAOSXHDJCJCJCJUUUUJH

MERRY HAMPTON

OKAY WERE HERE

THIS IS HAPPENING

OKAY

TORN?????? RORN

ToahhaISHSKAJ

OKAY YES, RIGHT

I swear if its black smoke, I SWEAR- PRAYING THOSE FEELINGS ARENT THAT. NOT AFTER LAST TIME

"Yet, Olivia had the very distinct feeling that the answers lay within this journal." nO SHIT SHERLOCK OHMYGOAOHA

Necklace NECKLAAIAOAOAAIAHSAO NECKLACE ITS THE NECKLACE ITS THE RAVEN PENDANT IM FUCKING CALLING IT

FUCKWUAYDKAAA MY NINAGS COMIG SHITSHITSHITSHIT

Okay Im on the roof deck, dark mocha latte for the evening, LETS MAKE THIS EVENING BETTER

Ay AY WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS POLLY APOLOGISING WHY ARE YOU APOLOGISING OHMYGOD WHY DID YOU SAY THAT??????

So wait. Let me get this straight before I go bonkers; North doesnt have one journal but many journals for each engine he's most likely revived, and the first GNJournal entry we saw was actually Merry Hampton's journal/record

Thats. THATS ACTUALLY SMART HELLO?? North is upping his game right here, a true researcher!

What the fuck. WAIT. WHAT THW FUCK IS THIS?? THERES A DATE. WAIR WAIR-

IS THIS LIKE HOW EVERY OAGE IS, IT HAS LIKE A "GWR: [], LMS: [], LNER [], SR [], etc" TYPE THING??

Wait, whats with SR here?? Ill be noting that down, thats suspicious

Stanier tried saving him. I

HE TRIED SAVING NORTH, HOLY GOD

So they used black smoke, SO THIS PROVES THAT BLACK SMOKE IS ACKNOWLEDGED TO BE SOMETHING GOOD. LIKE AS IN IT CAN BE USED TO RELIEF PAIN LIKE PAIN KILLERS.

HOLYFUCK STANIER KNEW MORE INTO GOLD DUST??????? HE KNEW????????? FAILED EXPERIMENTS?????????? WHATTHEFUCK DOES THIS MAN KNOW HOLYGOD

OKAY SO, SIR GRESLEY KNEW THEN PASSED IT TO PEPPERCORN THEN WAS PASSED TO STANIER. Im guessing Peppercorn wouldve done it around the time before, during, or after Sir Gresley had passed considering the flashback in Chp. 26 where Sir Gresley and North were talking about the war

Oh shit. So Stanier was dying- HE WAS DYING. FUCK THIS IS THRILLING AND TENSE

THE COTTAGE WAS HIS???????? OKAY SO ITS BASICALLY A STUDENT BECOMING A MENTOR TO KEEP THE CYCLE GOING FOR OTHER STUDENTS TO BECOME A MENTOR, CONTINUING THE LINE OF KNOWLEDGE.

So that confirms one of my smaller theories, Stanier was indeed a mentor to North (that was just a theory out of shits and giggles..)

WOAH SHIT OKAY UH WEEW. LNER ROSE UP REAL FAST.

Oh OH. DAMN.

No fucking way NO WAY HE KNEW ALAN PEGLER??????? Okay well he did know the A1 Trust anyway, so why am I surprised LMAOO BUT I MEAN IT STILL IS HALF A SURPRISE

No NO WHAT WDYM WHATAAA WHAT WHAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTT

WAIT SO, THSI MEANS THAT A CORONATION HAS A REVIVED CONTRUCT. ONE FO THEM.

Golden Circle GOLDENCIRLAGAKAOAAH

SO HE WAS INDEED IN THE GOLDEN CIRCLE.

EughFOCK OKAY THE LNER IS STILL IN FIRST PLACE.. IM WORRIED

WHAT THE FUCK??? WHAT.

WAIT WAIR, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??

Cause look, from what I know, there are a decent amount of Wardens for the LMS around that time period, humans and engines.

It. IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE WHAT THE FUCK

"The Black 5 if furious and threatens to crack my skull open." Surprisingly the most normal threat North has recieved so far. Damn.

Wait WAIT. HE ISNT A RUNAWAY??? HES NOT- HES A KICKED OUT MEMBER, IS WHAT IM UNDERSTANDING FROM THIS.

IFUCKINGCAAAAALLEDDDDD IT I CALLED IT OHMYGOD I CALLED IT. SIR GRESLEY STARTED IT WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Fuck wait WAIT WHAT. WELL FUCK OKAY THATS VERY BAD. BAD.

"Perhaps that was all it ever was, a dream." GOSH DAAMN. DAMN OKAY

I AM GETTING MORE CONCERNED AS I READ THIS.

Okay a one month timeskip, WHATTHEFUCK

WHAAT. 25?????????????

I

I CAAAALLEDDDD IT I CALLED IT OHMYGOD YEAAAASSSS YES YESSSSSSSSSSS LETS GOOOO

ENGINES SAVED BY WORKMEN BY THEM HIDING SAID ENGINES YEAAAAAAAAASSSS

Rooster. OKAY SO THAT CONFIRMS IT, ROOSTER CAME AFTER NORTH DID. OKAY GOOD. THATS YEAAASSS

J CLASS MENTION WOOOOOOOOO

Wair WAIT WAIT PEPPERCORNS. WAIT SO. WAAAAIT. WAIT WAIT OHMYGOD WAIT

THIS DOESNT CLEARLY CONFIRM IT, BUT IT MIGHT BE HINTING AT HOW KESTREL/KHLOE IS A REVIVED CONSTRUCT RN

But but, it still raises the question, WHAT WERE THEY REVIVED WITH??? WAS IT WITH GOLD DUST OR ARE THEY SILVER SOULS?????????

Wait FIGHT?????? HOLYGOD THERE WAS A WAR. THERE

ANARCHY, OF COURSE IT WOULDVE HAPPENED

So then. Okay SO NORTHS GOAL; SAVE SIBLINGS

I

——

Okay so ah, before I continue this, let me just say this:

The next bits I reacted to were just WIPED OUT by tumblr when I tried saving it yesterday in my drafts, but thankfully Im running on naps, caffiene, and some hours of sleep cause I know I forgot how I reacted and what I did react to (considering this was a first read so yeah)

As of writing this little explanation it's the second day I'll be staying here at this hotel before going home, starting up back the reaction below this paragraph at around 5 am rn (wow I woke up early, not complaining though)

So basically LETS CONTINUE THIS REACTION FROM WHATS BEEN LEFT, RUNNING ON HOPES AND DREAMS EDITION!

——

Oh OH SEPTEMBER 16TH

THATS POLLYS SCRAP DATE ISNT IT??

And IT FUCKING IS LETS GOO

WOOOOOOOOO LETS GO NORTH ANOTHER WIN

I POLLY?? Okay well of course shes doing that, its North, I think we all know she has a reason to be upset at him

Yet again, crossing off another thing that seemed impossible yet was possible, North believing things such as myths and beliefs circulating around an engine.

But then considering he has the logic to not believe in such things without a proper reason, maybe this is actually hinting at something Merry has?? Im guessing its something related to black smoke or some sort of “gold dust technique” (what the fuck am I saying)

BUT either way I still have my suspicions about her soul (both how it is in the present and past times)

Cause for some context, Ive had a theory (for a while) that Merry (or Jacqueline in the present) had black smoke inside her soul for a while in a way where Blue Peter had his black smoke stored, but in a way where it’s the cause of her cruelty as a parent.

But that was a scrapped theory since I had another theory involving Silver souls, her being one of those said silver souls in that theory.

Anywho CONTINUIJG ON LMAO

AND LETS GOOOO NORTHS GONNA SAVE HER YESSSS

But then, it would scrap my Silver Soul theory for Merry considering she hasn’t died, is what Im understanding here

“Rooster was appalled and almost threatened to kick me off his farm, a farm that I finance, I might add.” Now this sentence mADE ME WHEEZE

Ay AY AY WAIT SO SHE ISNT DEAD. OKAY RIGHT YEAH, SHE ISNT DEAD

“Merry Hampton is my sister after all.” DEVELOPMENT PEOPLE, DEVELOPMENT‼️ ‼

OH LOOKY HERE 30TH OF OCTOBER LETS GOO

IFUCKINGCALLEDIT YEEEAAAAAAASSSS YES STANIER DID HELP YEEASSSSS

AND OOH BOY NOT IN THE WAY I EXPECTED.. THIS HAS TURNED A LOT

Wait WAIT CONSTRUCG???? CONSTRUCT??

“Would go insane” and “Vessel for despair” intrigue me, cause that sounds like cold iron sleep-

Well I mean it in a way where the insanity could be where your denial of facing death leads to a spiral of insanity that makes them face it even closer, and how “vessel for despair” could be interpreted as a vessel for black smoke to feed on their despair of facing death

Okay shit I just backread a bit SO MERRY DID INDEED DIE. BUT THE QUESTION IS, WHEN DID SHE DIE???

Waoh WOAH WOAH WOAHAIAOAAHAHA ITS THE SPILLED THING ITS THE SNEAK PEAK OHMHGODOSHAOAA

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW

THE FIRST GNJOURNAL IT MAKES SENSE NOW

MERRY AND POLLY WERENT SAVED TOGETHER NO MERRY WAS INDEED SAVED OR WAS ATTEMPTED TO BE SAVED BUT NORTH FUCKED IT UP BY GIVING HER A CRUDE CONSTRUCT AND SO THAT LEAD TO HER HAVING TO BE IDK SENT AWAY FROM HIM??

AAY AY AY LOOK ITS THE OHMFYAO

SIR GRESLEY??????? HARMING HERSELF????????? WHAT?????????

AY WAIT. SO BLACK SMOKE WAS INDEED KNOWN TO BE A PAIN KILLER OF SORTS FOR ENGINES. OKAY NOTED

Coldstreamer. CODLHEAKAPA COLDSTREAMER OHMYGOD

KINGFISHER??????????????????? WAIT SOLARIO??????????

COUNTERPART TO SCOTSMAN- BITCH I THOUGHT MALLARD WAS HIS COUNTERPART OHMYHOD

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

SO MALLARD WAS INDEED KNPWN AS A HEALER BUT HIS MEMORIES WERE WIPED OF BEING ONE.

I just fuckin realized, Mallard was just a tool, a tool to relieve pain. When he wasn't a fellow bird enjoyer that is.

Thays. THATS SO DAMN SAD MYGO

If I knew that before reading aGS, it wouldve been even more sadder istg

WHAT THE FUCK. SO THOMPSON TRIED GETTING THOSE MEMORIES BACK BUT HE FUCKED IT UP BY DESTROYING HIS SOUL

ITS LIKE TRYNA GRAB A LITTLE BITE SIZED CANDY OUT FROM A TALL GLASS VASE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, YOUR GONNA BREAK IT EITHER WAY.

HEAL MERRY HAMPTON’S CONSTRUCT??????????

Oh fuck Pollys not talking to him, shit

“All I have done is prolong her tortured existence.” YOU THINK??????? 

DAMN.

HUNDREDS???????? HUNDREDS. FOR EVERY RAILWAY. COUNT EVERY FUCKING RAILWAY AND MULTIPLY THE NUMBER OF THEM ALL WITH 100 MYGOD

Ay HOLD THE DAMN PHONE

HENDRICK WAS STORED IN A STOREROOM????

WHAT HAPPENED TO MALLARD- OH FUCK RIGHT THE YEAR

MEMORY??????? OHFUCK THEY MEMORY WIPED HER AS WELL.

Wait, black smoke feeds on any negative emotion (from what I understand), and memories can conjure said memories.

From that I can guess that Merry had black smoke used on her when reviving/reforming her into a construct but something went wrong and so CUE THE MUSIC

Woah WOAH WOAH THE LMS WARDENS, FROM THE THING, HOLYGOD

AND WAIT WAIT. SPION KOP OHMYGOD SPION

Wait, back in the server Loraine said that Spion Kop translates to Spy Head in Dutch, so then- OH.

OHIFUCKINGCAAALLEDDDDDITTTT MERRY DID HAVE BLACKSMOKE YEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSSSS

Pause rq cause JACQUELINE BYRON IS A COOL SOUNDING NAME HOLYGOD

Ay AY OKAY YEAH TIMESKIP TO ONE WEEK LATER LETS GO

I take it back its been five damn years..

Oh something's wrong, yeah NO WAY there isnt anything wrong cause THAT SOUNDS BAD. VERY BAD.

Wait. Marley Vaughan? That sounds familiar sec-

Okay I was wrong, that name doesnt belong to a GDC we know. Noting that down

Woah WOAH WHAT THE FUCK WHAT?? SPION WHAT HAPPENED????

Wait WAIT. OKAY SO- HOW. THE FUCK.

THATS WHAT IM ASKING AS WELL

Wait this would be 14 years before (from what I've conjured/theorised) Olivia was born, so does this mean she has a secret sibling or does she age slowly?? 

Ah FUCK OKAY. POLITICAL CORRUPTUON GEAH LETS DO THIS, LETS NOT GO CAUSE THAT US BAD YEAH.

HE WAS A JUBILEE?????????????????? NO. NO WAY FUCK NO. ALLISON RAY WHYY???????

“Though I do not think it was intentional on Arethusa’s part to give Merry a child” Buckle in, prepare for tough shit cause I SWEAR-

JEREMY PARSONS??????? HEREMYSAJAO JEREMY PARSONS. HOLYSHIT

STEAAAL?????????????????? STEAL. OKAY- FUCK WAIT. I MAY NOT JNOW HOW THIS JEREMY PARSONS IS RELATED TO MS PARSONS (COULD BE HER TWIN??) BUT SHIT THIS IS WHY MS PARSONS WENT FOR NORTH TO GET OLIVIA’S WHISTLE. TO CONTINUE WHATEVER JEREMY PARSONS HAD PLANNED.

HEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

WHAT THE FUCK. HES DEAD. MYGOD AND WE DIDNT EVEN KNOW MUCH ABOUT HIM OTHER THAN THE INFO THATS BEEN SHARED, SOMEONE GIVE THIS GUY A FUCKING FUNERAL MY GOD

TAKE MERRY????????????? TAKE MERRY. OHMYGOD TAKE MERRY??????

ANCHOR????????? ANCHOR, LADY, CREATOR, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS GUY ON???????

“Never have I seen someone so unhinged.” I couldn't agree more with you North, cause WHAT THE FUCK

BLACK SMOEJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

OHMYGODOAOA

OKAY THIS JSUT CLICKED IN MY MIND FOR YOU LOT TO NOTE, EVERYTHING I'M READING THAT COMES AFTER THE MARCH 8TH 1969 ENTRY IS MY FIRST TIME READING THEM.

I AM SHOCKED.

Thank GOD Hamilton and Allison came cause NY GOD THAT. THATS TENSE HOLYSHIT

YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS YEAH GET HIS ARSE INTO JAIL RIGHT NOW, SERVES HIM RIGHT FOR DOING SUCH A THING

Wait. What the fuck- WDYM ARETHUSA AND I????? YOU JUST SAID HE WAS DEAD WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON??????

IS THIS A GHOST TYPE SITUATION?????

“She is with child and the baby is everything to her now” Jacqueline Byron Vaughan YOU TRAGIC WOMAN

“My curiosity is not higher than that of Merry’s happiness.” I am not strong, THIS SENTENCE RIGHT HERE-

AWWE. THATS JUST HEART WARMING, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY TO MERRY AND HER SWEET CHILD (I am melting, like Ive said, I AM NOT STRONG)

wHAT THE FUCK. WAIT WAIT- BLACK SMOKE??????? NO FUCK WHAT NO NO NO WHAT.

MADE HER ILL?????????? MEMORIES???????? OH FOR FUCKS SAKE WHEN SOMETHING GRAND HAPPENS IT GOES DOWN HILL (WHY AM I SURPRISED??)

Remarkableblu

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAJHVXHQSBJ CBSHVJ HEF HISFBC IM NOT NORMAL

AaaGYXQOHJXLSscBMVFJ  FSINBV SLVFEAIUFWFOWUDWULVVUYCDWTFURVHIVVYK.UUKUG  DQRNB.FWJJBMWF   P 2E

I NEED TO BREAARHE HOLY GOD. 

OLIVIAS MADE OUT OF GOLD DUST AND BLACK SMOKE. THIS IS WHY SHE COULD GO NEAR MALLARD IN AGS, BECAUSE SHE COULDNT BE CONTROLLED BY MALLARD'S BLACK SMOKE CAUSE SHE HAD HER OWN AND IT EXPLAINS HOW SCOTSMAN COULD SURVIVE IN HER BODY IN THE SAME SERIES.

AND THIS COULD CONFIRM HOW SHE HAD A HEART CONDITION, IT WASNT A HEART CONDITION, IT WAS BLACK SMOKE FIGHTING WITH HER GOLD DUST.

OLIVIAS A CONSTRUCT, A HYBRID CONSTRUCT, AND SO HER CHILDREN ARE THE HALF HUMAN AND HALF CONSTRUCT ONES NOT HER

THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH YET QUESTIONS MUCH MORE.

[bellysoupset]

SOUP!!! i know you’re focusing on the thanksgiving stuff rn and slay yes go off but this is me begging you to torture wendy sometime soon <3333 i know you know i love her and i’m trying SO hard not to be annoying about requesting her too much but ,,,, the type of dopamine i get whenever i read one of *those* fics (wen as sickie) is truly unreal and i’ve been craving it sm lately (and i’ve already reread all your old ones *almost* too many times LMAO) 🤭 also PLS DONT TAKE THIS AS ME PRESSURING YOU OR EXPECTING THINGS FROM YOU‼️‼️‼️ THATS THE LAST THING I WANT‼️‼️ THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO‼️‼️‼️ im just putting this out there to gently suggest that you torture her whenever you have the time and energy to lolll <3

the trope can be literally anything you want but i’m really feeling a migraine fic 👀 like a bad one!!! but having her kind of hide it until she can’t anymore? and then vin maybe feeling all guilty about not noticing it sooner + him being all soft and adorable and worried? smiling and blushing just thinking about this ahhhh

thank u sm i love u

🦦

And 🧷 asked:

HI Just jumping on board the girly request train (To add this to your hoard for if you have the time/will). Consider, if you will: Wendy sick at work with Jonah as a not-so-great caretaker having to call Vince like "Come get your girl." (Wendy does deserve belly rubs and also just... hugs. Lots of them. And a gentle smooch on the forehead) (And you know I love bitchy Jonah and I can't think of a shittier caretaker /pos /aff /very affectionate /I love him okay?) -🧷

----

Jonah was in a bad mood. Which he knew wasn't saying much, because these days he was always in a bad mood, but whatever. He was in a shitty fucking mood.

Graduation was closer than ever, happening in a little less than two weeks. Meaning he had exactly 4 days to finish all the documentation and essays and double check his hours and also pick an outfit and send the bloody invitation to his mother and stepfather and his father, fuck, he had forgotten about-

"Switch with me," Wendy interrupted his stream of thoughts, entering the office area. Jonah let out a scoff, rolling his eyes.

"Absolutely not," he said, turning back to the paperwork he had been filling in. He had already done his hours in the ER, there was no way he was gonna do Wen's too.

"Please," Wendy said, although she didn't sound like she was asking, "switch with me, I'll take your hours tomorrow-"

"Nope," Jonah shook his head, not bothering to look up from where he was filing up the report of each patient he had had all day, "you're distracting me, Wendy."

"Jonah, I really can't do the ER right now-"

"No one likes the ER," Jonah shrugged, signing his name with a little too much force. He really wanted to go home. It was almost 10 PM and he still hadn't had dinner and although he didn't have classes tomorrow, he had so many things to hand in. Did he revise his residency application?

"Jon, please I..." Wendy whined and Jonah's head snapped up, pissed off.

"Wendy no," he glared at her, "I'm not switching, give up."

She pressed her hands to her face, before letting out a sigh and turning around, wordlessly leaving the office.

Jon's stomach sunk and he felt a pang to his chest, but he stood his ground. He had worked his hours today and he really needed to go home and Wendy was not going to puppy eye her way into getting him to do a double ER shift, not when he was this exhausted, even if it was just the remaining one hour and half.

He got back to the task at hand and by the time he glanced up again, it was time to get going. 11:30 PM, Leo would probably be asleep, Jonah thought sourly, locking all the documents inside of his designated drawer and getting up.

Claire was just getting in as Jonah walked to the doctor's staff to strip his white doctor coat and grab his bag as well as his scarf. She waved at him as he unlocked his locker, "hi, Jon."

"Hi Claire," he yawned, folding his coat.

"Uh..." Claire frowned as she unlocked her own locker. She shared with Wendy, but Wen's clothes were still inside, "that's odd, I didn't see her in the ER..."

Jonah felt a weird sense of unease wash over him. He draped the scarf around his neck, "here, take mine. Just let Todd know when he clocks in..." he said, "I'm gonna check if she's still clocked in."

Jonah hated the guy who had been doing the last round with Wendy. Chris wasn't just annoying as hell, he was also a careless idiot who messed up constantly. Jon had lost count the amount of times he had gone toe to toe with the guy.

"Chris," Jonah said, managing to get him alone just as he turned the hallways, Chris probably going to clock out too, "did you see Wendy?"

"No," Chris scoffed, glaring at him, "not since she bailed on me. If you find her, let her know that she's fucked. I made a complaint with our supervisor."

"What...?" Jonah frowned. Wendy didn't bail, Jon could count in one hand the amount of times she had taken time out of her clinic hours. She often covered for others. She would never just quit and up and leave.

"Yeah," Chris rolled his eyes, "said she was gonna get water and I haven't seen her since. I had to go through all of her fucking patients. Peters is gonna chew her up tomorrow."

"How long ago was that?" Jonah asked, feeling anxiety prickling all over him. This was widely out of characters.

"An hour ago? I don't know," Chris shrugged, before stepping around Jonah, "excuse me."

Jon didn't acknowledge him at all, already fishing his phone out of his pocket and pressing the 3, Wendy's speed dial digit. It rang and rang and no one picked up.

Her car was in the parking lot still, getting covered with snow. Shit.

"Wendy, it's me. Please pick up your phone, I'm worried," Jonah send her a voice message, before immediately trying to call again. If the car was still there, then she was still in the hospital.

The question was where? Their university hospital was a big place, since they were the reference not just for their town but for other five around them. It had four floors and was almost as large as a whole block.

"Shit, shit, shit," Jonah chanted, heading to the main nurse station near the ER. The head nurse from Wendy's shift probably had clocked out already, the new one wouldn't know where she was...

"Marjorie! Nurse Marjorie!" Jonah ran down the hall, catching her just as she was about to walk to walk out of the door to the parking lot. She paused, looking confused and spooked.

"Dr. Banks-"

"Hi," Jonah panted, catching up with her, "sorry, I didn't mean to startle you- Did you see Wendy?"

"Wendy?" she frowned and Jonah nodded.

"Dr. Marshall?"

Marjorie's frown twisted into a grimace, "oh yeah, downstairs," she nodded, "about twenty minutes ago? She was in a bad shape, poor thing."

"A bad shape?" Jonah's heart squeezed and he looked around as if he'd somehow spot Wendy in the crowd that was coming and going, "where was she exactly?"

"Well, I entered the ladies room and she wasn't looking so hot, but she said she'd go home, so..." Nurse Marjorie shrugged, "she's probably left by now."

"Which side?"

"West wing-"

"Thank you," Jonah shook her hand awkwardly, before turning around and running back towards the stairs. He just wished no supervisor saw him running around like that, he'd for sure get called out.

There were two bathrooms down in the west wing, where they got the x-rays exams done. One was gender neutral, then two gendered ones down the long hallway. Jonah made a silent prayer before entering the female bathroom.

It was empty.

Or rather, it seemed empty, but a small sob cued him to the fact that it wasn't so. Jonah power walked across the room, before knocking on the last stall, "Wendy? Wen, is that you?" please let it be her.

There was a small groan from inside, a voice he recognized and he spotted her white shoes peeking out, with the lilac details.

"Wendy, it's me," Jonah knocked again, "can you unlock the door, please?"

"Uhm..." she grumbled from inside and he heard the sound of fingers drumming on the door, as she clumsily attempted to unlock it. It took a minute before she managed to do so and then Jonah pushed it in, regretting it as Wendy let out a whine as the door hit her thigh.

He waited until she moved out of the way to push the door again and Jonah frowned. Wendy was sitting on the ground, one arm draped over the toilet, her head resting on her hand. The little he could see of her face, Jon could tell was extremely pale.

"Goddammit, Wendy..." he crouched down next to her, "Wen? Hey, look at me, sweetheart-"

"Hurss...hurts..." she slurred instead of answering him, her voice barely above a whisper. The toilet was empty, but Jonah could tell she had already thrown up at least once, if the wet spot in front of her baby green scrubs were anything to go by.

"What hurts, Wendy?" he leaned in, planting a hand on her shoulder. She was freezing, even though she was wearing a long sleeved shirt under the short sleeved hospital clothes.

"Head..." Wendy whimpered, curling up even more, sounding dangerously close to tears. She hugged her knees, pressing her forehead to them and rocked back and forth, "I don't feel well, Jon..."

"I know, Dee," Jonah whispered, moving even closer and ignoring the smell of vomit, so he could cup her chin and force her to lift her head, "let me see your eyes, Wendy."

They were filled with tears, squinting from the pain. The minute he raised her face, she flinched from the overhead white light, and gulped nervously, shoving his hand off her face.

"I'm... I'm gonna be sick..." she groaned, leaning over the toilet again. Jonah scrambled forward to grab her hair, immediately gagging as he felt one of the front pieces was already wet and sticky.

He buried his nose in his shoulder, gagging fruitlessly. There was nothing for him to puke and clearly, nothing for Wendy to bring up either, because after a little more retching, she let out a sob and resorted to resting her forehead to the porcelain, sobbing.

"No, darling, don't do that, this is disgusting..." Jonah cooed, sliding his hand between her forehead and the toilet and wrapping his other arm around her waist, pulling her up.

Although she was unstable as a newborn fawn, she didn't immediately collapse, clinging to his coat with all her force. Jonah pushed the stall door open, slowly guiding her to the sinks and Wendy slumped over the granite with her whole body, letting out a whine as he ran his hands under the tap to turn on the motion sensor and then ran his now wet, cold hands on her face, washing her mouth and chin, as well as the sick covered piece of hair.

"Shhh, you're okay, I got you," Jonah whispered, more for his benefit than hers, as Wendy's whole face scrunched up in pain, tears leaking from the corner of her eyes.

"I don't... I don't want you," she groaned and Jonah's stomach turned for a different reason, simple and plain guilt.

"I know, I'm gonna get you to Vin," he answered instead, "I'm really sorry, Wen, I didn't know you weren't feeling well..."

She let out another groan, ignoring his apology and Jonah bit his tongue to stop the string of words he wanted to say. He wanted to apologize again, he wanted to grill her about her symptoms, why she hadn't started off by saying she was sick previously when requesting he switched with her, why she hadn't told him...

She shuddered, hugging herself and Jonah stripped his coat, wrapping Wendy in it and closing the first button on the front. It was far too big for her, it reached the middle of Jon's thighs, but on Wendy the coat was brushing the floor.

Wordlessly she slumped forward, pressing her forehead to his chest and Jonah wrapped an arm around her, guiding her out of the bathroom.

As soon as they reached the ground level floor, she let out a loud whine. The place was much more crowded, so much more noisy, and Wendy let out a sob, pressing her face to his chest with even more force.

"Hurts..." She said, grabbing at the roots of her hair and pulling, to try and escape the pain inside her skull.

He left her planted on the couch in the waiting room, as he sped back to the staff quarters to retrieve her purse, as well as her other belongings. Wendy was rocking back and forth when he got back to her, much to the unnerving of the other patients, who kept glancing at her nervously as it looks like she was going to throw up.

"Okay, let's get you out of here," Jon whispered, wrapping his arms around her and guiding Wendy to the car. She shivered violently once they walked out of the hospital, the drastic temperature change hitting them both. Jon's teeth started to chatter and he forced Wendy to keep moving, pushing her inside her car.

"No, don't do that, Dee," Jonah whispered, holding her head as Wendy tried banging it against the window to stop the pain inside, "shhh, lie back down, lie down..." he lowered her seat a little bit, smoothing the hair out of her face.

Wendy let out a pitiful sniffle, curling up on herself, his coat serving as a blanket on top of her. She turned her head, away from his touch and Jonah's stomach sunk a little more.

He parked inside her building, in her designated spot and then scrolled through his contacts. Wendy seemed to be asleep and he didn't want to wake her up unneededly so.

"Hello?" Vince sounded half asleep and Jonah glanced quickly at the clock. It was almost midnight, no wonder, "Jon?"

"Hey," he whispered, "I have Wendy with me, can you unlock the door, please?"

"Wen... Why? What's wrong with her? Are you outside-" there was rustling around, "I don't see you outside."

Jonah rolled his eyes, "I'm downstairs in the parking lot, she-"

"Is she okay? Let me talk with her."

"She's asleep," Jonah started to say, but Wendy stirred and groaned, turning to blindly grab his phone.

"Is that Vin?" she whined, not bothering to open her eyes and, in Jonah's ear, Vince exclaimed.

"Wendy!"

Jonah let out a scoff, "just unlock the door," then hung up, turning to Wendy, "can you walk?"

"Yes," she said, sounding annoyed. She pushed the door open and stumbled out, bracing against the car and taking deep breaths, "my head is exploding."

"You sound better than before," Jonah said hopefully, circling the car to hold her arm, "c'mon, Dee."

"Uhm..." Wendy slumped against him, letting him guide her the rest of the way and Jonah chewed on the inside of his cheek, pressing the elevator button.

"I'm really sorry about before, Wendy. I had no idea you were sick, if I knew I'd have switched."

"It's fine," she said sourly, crossing her arms, "it's fine."

"Wanna say that one more time?" Jonah said, "doesn't sound fine."

"Shut up, Jonah," Wendy groaned, pressing her forehead to his bicep with all her force, "I don't have the energy for this, just shut up."

As soon as the elevator came to a stop, Vince was already there. In the middle of the hallway, wearing just sweatpants, socks and a huge orange hoodie that made Jonah cringe in distaste. His curls were a messy mane around his head and he had been clearly about to fall asleep.

"Hey, hey..." he crossed the hallway in two steps, cupping Wendy's face, "what's wrong, honey?"

She let out a groan, that quickly morphed into a whimper, "my head..."

"Migraine?" he guessed, glancing up worriedly to Jonah, who flinched as if he was somehow guilty for Wendy's migraine.

"Yes, she threw up earlier-"

"It's not as bad anymore," Wendy scoffed, glaring at his direction, before snuggling up with Vince, wrapping her arms around his middle, "I just wanna lie down."

"Thank you for bringing her home," Vince whispered, offering Jonah a big, relieved smile, which only made him feel ten times more guilty. Vin was unaware to his little conundrum, hugging Wendy to him and bringing her inside the house.

Jonah followed them in, planting Wendy's keys and her purse on the little living room table that was littered with books and notecards, where Vince clearly had been studying.

A minute later Vince emerged from the room, having tucked Wendy into bed, Jon's coat draped over his arm, "here. Thank you Jon..."

"Please don't say that," Jonah cringed, taking the coat back, "tell Wendy to call me when she feels better."

Vince frowned, confused, but he nodded, "yeah, of course. Are you calling a taxi?"

"Yes-"

"You can wait in here," Vince said hopefully, "or just crash the couch, it's no problem-"

"No," Jonah shook his head. He was feeling terrible, he really didn't want to stay and witness anymore of Wendy in pain, "no, I have to go home. Leo's probably having a heart attack, I should've been home two hours ago."

It was a little lie. Yes, Leo would be stressing if he was aware, but more probably he was simply asleep by now.

"Okay," Vince crossed the room and then pulled Jon into a hug, causing the man to let out a startled yelp.

"Let go of me."

"Thanks again, man."

"Yeah, let me go..." Jonah shoved him off, "and tell Wendy not to worry about tomorrow, I'll explain to her supervisor what happened."

"Thank you," Vince nodded, although he wasn't sure what he was nodding along with, "you're a great friend."

Jonah grimaced, "yeah, bye."

[i-remember-yyou]

That bondage(?) Deep Night scene was something 👀

Urh, um. I have a lot to say about... whatever this was, lol.

This probably does not deserve a whole essay-long post, but here it is anyway.

I can't be the only one that thought this was laughably ridiculous. I don't know what it was trying to be... sexy? Mysterious? Risqué? The different girl? But it failed.

There was just too much and too little at the same time if that even makes sense. These actors are all amazing, for sure, so I don't fault them at all. Truly, the entire time I was just hoping they were paid enough for this, lol.

I mean, okay, alright, I'm not particularly versed in the sexy things of the night, lmao (what is censored on Tumblr these days?), but this scene was just plain comedy to me. I literally choked.

It just felt odd and forced. And it was weird because their other ~sexy~ scenes are, to me, really well done -- intense, chemistry-filled, angst, etc., etc. -- but this just felt like a random insert that added no value to anything, lol. With BLs, maybe especially Thai ones I feel, you go in mostly not knowing how far they will go with their couples, and you usually don't know until it--whatever it is--happens. And this, let me tell you, I was not ready for, lol.

Despite being apprehensive that the host club meets acrobatics storyline would be another too out-of-pocket Thai BL concept for me, I actually started to really enjoy it, until this scene made me fear the future of this series.

The chemistry between Wela and Khem is just so, so good. I love it. And circa episode 2, their steamy shower scene really had the angst, yearning, and build-up to make it the level of sexy that the random bondage bed scene failed to have.

Wela was fine in the bondage scene, but Khem was giving too much for what was actually going on, which to me looked like hot yoga and a tooth exam. 😂

Seriously, it was like he had a piece of spinach stuck in his mouth and was just constantly trying to get it out. And meanwhile my homeboy Wela, bless his heart, was trying to do some sort of oral exam on Khem. Khem's good to go until his next cleaning in 6 months, LMAO.

And the issue for me, too, is that there was no build-up or hints or whatever that these two would be into bondage, BDSM, or however you'd/they'd label it. BDSM is all good and well, but here it felt so random. It'd made more sense and probably have had more impact if they put in little hints here and there that one or both of them were into some sort of bondage situation.

It'd have been even better if it were Wela, because of his dynamic with Khem. Khem comes off as this confident, carefree rich kid, while Wela has a softer, sweeter personality. He's a good student who just wants to do well for his family. If he were the one to suddenly spring on or suggest BDSM to Khem, now that would have been interesting.

I mean, all and all, props to the actors for taking this sort of scene seriously and trying their best.

I'ma keeps watching anyways, because there are a lot of fun and interesting things to like about this show. I also definitely want to see what happens to Seiji, aka sheer-shirt-boy, and Khem's innocent uni friend.

[japhan2024]

Whew, so here is the sequel to that one fic I wrote! I'm so glad I correctly predicted that the 'angry letter' wasn't such a big deal lmao and also that it was way more stressful for Anthony than for Ian.

Here is the link to part 1:

And here is a link to that one vine that suits this part of the story LMAO (it was shown to me by my former tumblr and irl bestie who I have sadly no contact with anymore T_T)

So here it goes...

"Ian, I'm so sorry, I feel so terrible".

"What do you mean?"

Anthony had to pinch himself every morning to check if he was truly awake or still in a blissful dream world. He and Ian were back together. And not only had they reconnected, but they had bought back Smosh! It was finally Anthony's and Ian's again. They had a great work schedule that they had set up themselves, and they also made it a point to just hang out together and enjoy life outside of Smosh. To be honest with himself, he loved the made-up time off-camera with Ian the most. They didn't have to go anywhere fancy: just chilling, just the two of them, was enough. How Anthony had gotten so lucky as to have that time with his again-best friend was beyond him.

And with great joy and happiness come great levels of stress and anxiety. Anthony knew himself well enough to acknowledge that he was freaking out even though he didn't have to. That his feelings did not care about any facts or numbers. They were raging inside him like a gut-wrenching scream - all the time. His nervous laughter, which everyone mistook for joy, pushed its way out over his lips like vomit. He hated that about himself. So easy to make laugh but so hard to actually make happy... there was only one person in the world who actually could do that second thing.

"Dude, it's okay, whatever it is, you're safe here, okay?"

The last couple of months, Anthony found himself yo-yoing between moments of true happiness and then paralyzing fear that it wasn't real or that it would go away again. And surely, one of the first few videos he and Ian did together already sent him spiraling again. What a ludicrous idea to show Ian his old diary.

"Anthony, you don't have to worry, okay?"

Ian's ability to make things alright had been both a blessing and a curse for their friendship in the past. He would focus so hard on the positive that Anthony would - temporarily - forget the bad stuff. So, on the one hand, Anthony really wanted Ian to know just how hurt he had been, all those years ago, and at the same time, he also wanted to gauge whether Ian had cared at all. He cared now, that was for sure. They had talked like never before. They had built an entirely new friendship on the ashes that lay beneath them. A stronger friendship, a more mature one, but he and Ian were still the same puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together. So perfectly, in fact, that making sketches together felt like no time had passed at all between Anthony leaving Smosh and present day. But some remnants of Anthony's hurt feelings remained, and he just wanted to have complete closure. The only way to do that - he'd thought - was to read his angry diary-entry to his friend that he loved so dearly. How cruel. He had seen the hurt in Ian's eyes. Of course Ian had cared. Even more than Anthony had hoped for. He had considered him a best friend for years longer than Anthony had done.

"I don't want to lose you again".

Right now, he didn't want to look Ian in the eye again. He'd been so dumb. One of his old bad habits was manifesting itself once again: he was begging. Just like he had begged his ex-fiancée to get back together, only to be rejected, just like he had begged Ian all those years ago to force their friendship back to where he'd thought it should be, even though neither of them had been ready at that time... now he was begging once again. At his best friend's doorstep, no less. Ian had let him in, of course, but he probably wanted to do other things right now than console Anthony in the midst of a breakdown just as they both had bought their channel, their company back...

But two soft and familiar hands placed themselves around Anthony's face and turned it upwards. And two of the brightest blue eyes in the world looked at him with love.

"... and I will NEVER, never let anything come between us, ever again."

~

"So that was weird, huh!" Anthony let out a high-pitched laugh. It was a few days later, and he was at Ian's place once more. Ian had invited him to a celebration, just the two of them. It was early in the evening, and they were sat in Ian's pool and drinking champagne.

"Dude, it was just the nerves. I know how your nerves get, "Ian replied. "I was still stressing about all of this too, you know, we are in uncharted territory right now."

"Yeah, you're right." Another nervous laugh. Anthony was relieved, though, that Ian didn't think he was crazy or unstable or anything. He looked at his best friend. He was so fond of the 'new Ian', the one who had done serious personal growth, who - off camera - had apologized to him for more than had been necessary, the one who Anthony could really rely on and trust more than anyone, even his own girlfriend. He also loved that Ian was still as goofy, or maybe goofier than before even. He laughed now, truly and from the heart.

"What're you laughing about?" Ian said in his playful tone.

"Oh, I am just happy. But for real Ian, I'm so happy. This is so nice. And damn this champagne is goood."

"You better not be peeing in my pool again!"

"I might."

Ian laughed loudly, a laugh Anthony knew was only reserved for him. He felt proud and giddy that he still had it, the ability to make his best friend break out in laughter.

"So, Anthony, it's time for something special."

Ian got out of the pool. Anthony couldn't help but notice how Ian's body looked so different than when they were younger. Obviously, he had undergone a transformation himself, but he rarely saw Ian without a sweater or a shirt. He looked good.

"Are you coming or what?"

Anthony quickly stopped staring and joined Ian at his outside lounge chairs. Ian looked like he was up to something.

"So, you just wait right there, okay?"

"Sure."

Ian disappeared into his villa. Now Anthony felt slightly anxious again, that inner scream fighting to resurface once more, but he held it in. And soon enough, Ian appeared again, with a bottle of whiskey and a box that looked like some old-timey book or something.

"Oh, I see, we're going to really celebrate!"

"Yea-he-hess", Ian replied with a smile as he poured Anthony a small glass of whiskey.

"Do you usually smoke cigars though?" Anthony had to ask.

"No, babeyy, this is only for the most special of occasions!" Ian looked at him with a mischievous smirk and handed Anthony one of the cigars.

Anthony was about to put it into his mouth when he said: "why is this weirdly sexual?They both laughed. Anthony loved that Ian was still into the same dumb humor as he was. "Shut up and put it in your mouth!" Ian joked as he lit Anthony's cigar. The moment truly was intimate, and as he locked eyes with his best friend, Anthony felt a different kind of nerves swell up inside him. His cheeks turned dark-red.

"Dude, you're not supposed to suck in so much at once!" It was already too late. An intense tingling took over Anthony's senses, even after he burst out laughing at Ian's remark and almost choked coughing. "Wow, this is some good stuff," he said in a throaty voice.

The whiskey and the cigars kept Ian and Anthony talking deep into the night. The LA skyline was beautiful as they looked at it from Ian's garden. They were still in the lounge chairs, but Ian sat down next to Anthony on his chair, so they were sharing one seat.

"Listen up," he said, "we could have done this for a try not to laugh type video or some shit. But in the spirit of our friendship, I'm showing you now." Ian showed Anthony his phone screen. It was memes. They both laughed hysterically at the first few.

Anthony replied: "Some of these are really old but so good, I didn't even remember them until you showed them to me."

"Listen up," Ian said again - the whiskey bottle was significantly advanced - "I have been curating the absolute shite out of this list for years. Only if I had to physically laugh, no nasal or just grinning, I had to really laugh, THEN I added it. And I curated it specifically for you."

"You haven't shown anyone this?" Anthony said incredulously.

"No bitch, who else would laugh as much at dick jokes except you and myself?"

They were no longer smoking or drinking. They were just laughing at the memes. Anthony couldn't think of anything better than this. It felt so much like old times, it was incredible to him. He felt so warm and appreciated. He felt so at home. As his eyes got heavier, he let his head rest on Ian's shoulder. Not two moments later, he was fast asleep.

[incarnateirony]

So one of the hobbies I have is following like, crimetube. Less the uuuuu serial killers stuff and more just general weird, extreme cases, survivors, things like that.

It's funny because I sent one to Noiz and he and I have the same commentary arguing with the fucking narrator

But every time I sit here watching them break down schizoaffective disorders and psychotic breaks.

And every time they sit here reading out the descriptions, every single time, I'm just like "oh, so my ex wife.'

I truly was living with a violently unwell person that wasn't just schizoaffective, but has evolved into showing dominant traits of psychopathy, but her ability to "forget" things she swears didn't happen even when there's logs and photos for days on end about literal batshit things like lemons. Literal schizo trait.

The memory lapses that essentially protect them function similar to DID to protect them from trauma and so on. Yeah, she literally blew up her entire life over motherfucking lemons until she was abandoned by god and man, and left only with the parasites around her that continue to encourage her into more and more severe personality disorders and grotesque behaviors, who refuse to let her assess why she only started ripping out her hair in the last three years, all of it. Or having full color delusions, like when she used to see Hermes pop in and out as My Aaron Avatar, but I just sorta blamed that on mental filtering blahblah to try not to have to face that she wasn't just fake, but literally losing her mind.

Jesus. Fuck. I wish I had let myself actually act on it. Not because I'd still want to be with her, I was literally only still there to fulfill my promise to take care of her, I was so fucking done with her shit by then, but until she decided to plot for months on end justified by lemondrop hysteria like lmao okay. But now like, yeah, I did fail on that, because truly, she might have been salvageable before she let these fucking khan worms she calls friends crawl in her ear and rot her brain.

And for someone to take care of her now, she literally will need inpatient treatment that wouldn't allow her to continue to feed her delusions, but that's all the vultures in her life do. All they CAN do without her realizing what they've done to her. And it has become increasingly apparent that their grudges and egos are far more important to them than she is. Including her hubby. She literally would need aggressive, uninterrupted CBT to even have a chance, and 3 years is a time period it's harder to recover from statistically, so her hubby has literally permanently fucked her up for personal gain. He literally HAS to collude with her delusions.

He, and them, will mostly put on croc tears once they lower her into the ground from killing herself when reality hits her in the next few years, shrug, and move on. Let's be real. Nobody that cares lets it get to this. Hell, nobody that was serious about their relationship would be trained into being obsessed with her ex and stalking them, literally Any Man knows it's a red fucking flag if your partner is staying obsessed with their fucking ex, but no, this selfish retard at least knew she was even more retarded than him, and he saw a big, fat, sweaty, all consuming fucking free pass for both his friends online grudges, extra income rent, whatever. It didn't bother him because he didn't care. He cared about the obsessions. Just like she doesn't really care about him. Hence her obsessions and attempts at replacing it and even grooming him as a replacement, and he thought he was smarter than her, and it's two literal psychopathic retards grooming each other into psychosis.

Also, randomly, it just occurred to me I know where her old therapist was/is, I don't know if she's changed providers yet, but if I submitted a wellness check while updating them on the reality of her stalking for the last 3 years rather than her sobby little narrative trying to convince herself I deserved it and the choice was worth losing everything, even her understanding of the fucking gods, literally everything. Lost everything for fucking. Lemons. And stalked me. For 3 years. Across multiple socials, multiple fandoms, multiple servers she didn't even attend, but specifically dedicated months and years of her life to invading in obsession. I'm wondering if trying to reach out to Centerpoint would be worth my time.

The woman that was my wife died years ago. Now there's just a compelled corpse ripping out its hair until it looks around, and realizes, her life is fucking dead. She's become a monster, and everything she wanted is just replacement plastique. And despite three years of attempted blame, years of it she was left alone, avoided, ignored, until she commited six active fucking months to fucking with my fucking life in a fucking friend group, server, area she doesn't even fucking attend, because she is literally that motherfucking obsessed. She is, quite literally and in every term, addicted to my shadows.

That's all the drive left in her, really. It's why she wanted so, so bad to try to shut me up on my own blog. Because rather than controlling herself to like, not read my journal, she was forced to both realize she lacked that self control, and her lack of self control is what has destroyed her, while she chased a man literally trying to run away from her crazy ass all across man's digital and physical earth. No seriously the retard didn't even realize how many times I've dodged her tardo hubby in Walmart and shit. That the longer she watched, the more she realized I was telling the truth, and there was no way to save it, or her life, or anything she believed in.

She was cookin, that's for sure, but she cooked her fucking self, and her khan worm putrid friends and supporters added the fucking garnish. Let's be real, they're probably waiting to eat. They've showed such lack of care for me, her, each other, the religions they butcher, basic social concepts, the pure concept of truth, the friend groups they invade, anything. They lack empathy, they lack being productive for society in any way they can't exploit a buck from, they lack any kind of piety, they definitionally lack humanity, and are definitionally displaying psychopathic traits. I wouldn't be surprised if the cancerous wart she's engaged to is just waiting to make her a life insurance claim, or let her weight do it for him.

And nothing of value would be lost. Probably as close to Value as she has left in her.

I would have to make sure any attempt to contact Centerpoint is not construed as an attempt to communicate with her, as much as inform her caretakers, in an effort to actually end her constant hovering around me. Like, no, I do in fact want that fat greasy insane bald-ass fuck far the fuck away from me but I'm not accepting Silence Into Doing This Shit All Over Again Like Every Fucking Time. Like, fucking, no. I'm done. And I will gladly even record my own conversation to make sure it can't be misrepresented, and should she summon it to court, get an immediate counter prosecution involving the evidence and then-alerted psych workers to re-examine her and her past files, statements, and behaviors. If I have to stick this bitch in a cell in a straight jacket to be ensured permanent peace, because as fucking blimp shaped as she is, this is the One Thing she is incapable of "being a bigger person" about, she can't bring herself to apologize, or confess, or her psyche shatters, end of story. So the delusion continues. By all means keep this psychotic bitch away from me, and figure out the legal culpability for her piece of shit husband in this. She gets the insanity defense. He doesn't.

Cuz if she's not stopped, she's going to keep ripping out her hair, keep harassing me at every opportunity, in seasonal cycles, as she's done for years, scratching her fucking shortass hair going "Him, it's his fault, it's aaron's fault [hair tug] this hair that I only pulled out after he left [HAIR TUG] MY 3 YEARS OF STALKING, IT'S ALL HIS FAULT, EX BAD MAN!! I CAN'T BE BAD OR CRAZY!!! ITS THE LEMON HEX!!! DEAR GOD OF OCTOPUS POCKY THAT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE MY EX'S SPIRITUAL AND TRANS EXPLORATIVE PERSONA, SMITE HIM, WHY AREN'T YOU SMITING HIM??? WHY ARE YOU SMITING ME!!!" and finding the next bullshit to come screaming in with or send her flying monkeys at. Deadass "I CANT BE BAD OR CRAZY, MY DADDY WAS RICH. SO I WAS NEVER WRONG AS A BABY. IT'S DAD'S FAULT FOR NOT BEING RICH ENOUGH FOR MY HORSE SHIT ANYMORE, IT IS LITERALLY ANYONE'S FAULT BUT MINE" energy.

Perhaps it's better for me that I didn't act on it. I'd still be sitting there suffering her, while she'd have become even more dependent on me, and I don't even WANT to know what savior complex she'd have grafted to me then if I was STANDING THERE rather than her playing with a puppet of my persona until she believed her puppet show recreation was real. It would be a timeline I wouldn't be working for 988, but calling it while trying to continue to be faithful to a woman that was already an insufferable shit BEFORE that, because I was close to that several times while living with her. But it will be my one regret as a broken promise. I promised to take care of her. If I had done it correctly... well, this monster masquerading as a woman wouldn't have replaced a daughter of athena with an Ursulaic ... Creature.

[gardenerian]

I love how Ian was such a goner for Mickey. That Mickey has never had to truly work for a man and impress someone 😂😂 but it is cute seeing him doing his little pull ups at the dug outs, stealing onion dip at the store, telling ian how much he can lift, his cringey pick up lines “what are you down for then” (whatever he said lmao), nervously inviting him to asleep over. Like obviously he put WORK into this relationship right. he did everything to keep Ian forever- beyond what anyone has ever done for someone, but yea Ian was always a simp for him since day 1.

i kind of love the idea of ian becoming a goner for him over the course of day one - like he is denied that smooch and is like alright then whatevs - but i am obsessed with the following possible thought process:

mickey is annoying and i'm gonna kick his ass

oh my god no he's kicking my ass

wait wait wait wait - back to his ass

that was cool i'm gonna smooch now? that is how this works right?

or not

it's okay mickey is still fucking annoying

i should kick his ass for real this time

wait - no - just thinking about his ass

and that smooch i never got

lips????? they were nice???? but he's such a dick???

i'm gonna need to do that again to be sure though

there's dirt all over me where did that come from - oh.

ohhhhhhhhhhh

he's so gross

i think i'm in love

[mermaidsirennikita]

hello hello, this is one of the most requested asks on Reddit and the like, so I'm sorry if it's already been asked here as well but can you recommend any good grovels??

Unfortunately I'm the most picky reader when it comes to grovels cuz the ones that I got just -mostly- suck :/ like I generally liked Lady Isabella's scandalous marriage (and the entire Mackenzie series, thankyouthankyouthankyou lives were changed <3) but it still suffers from the main grovel problem, the groveling by seducing her back into the sack ://

So the -often-MMC cheated on the FMC/killed her child and/or parent/ caused her miscarriage/ kicked her puppy or whatever and when he eventually decides to get his shit together, his only plan is to seduce the girl back to his bed??? Like?? Sir the passion was never the problem?? Some grand gesture in or out of the bedroom is not the answer here??!!

I'd just love it if just for once the MMC begged for ten minutes of the heart broken fmc's time to just genuinely apologize and gets a chance to show her he's truly sorry and really a shell of a man without her(👌🏻) and than they slowly, tentatively start building their relationship a new...

^^the reason why this example is so specific is because it's from a beloved darklina fic lmao

Anyway that's the ask and I'm sorry it got so long and straight up turned into a rant by the end -_-

❤👋🏻❤

Hmm, so where I may struggle with this is that I actually like a situation wherein the hero is trying to seduce her back or grand-gesture-ing, lol. Not ALWAYS, but when it's done well (Lady Isabella's Scandalous Marriage does it well, imo) it works for me, and here's why:

a) I actually think it's super human to try to get someone you love who's separated from you back with like... sex? If sex was a big part of the good aspects of your relationship, that is, which it usually is for romance novel couples. Now, do you have to do more? For sure. But I think the impulse to start with where you KNOW you're good is so realistic. And I don't even necessarily think it's always a bad thing, YMMV, but it is bad if you stop there. Which leads to...

b) A lot of the time, the key lies in the fact that the sex is the first thing pursued but it's not enough. To reference LISM again, Mac and Isabella get sexual pretty quickly. HOWEVER, that's not what brings them back together for good, and his thinking that he can sweep her off her feet and it'll be fine is flawed. They do have to confront what happened that drove them apart (his immature behavior, etc--the miscarriage and his inability to support her through the grief was really just the final straw) and find a way to move forward.

The Day of The Duchess by Sarah MacLean is another example, to me--it does begin as "I'll just sweep her off her feet/into bed", and going back to bed together does happen first (to an extent) because it is EASIER on both parts. If you're the hurt party, it's way easier to say "okay just give me orgasms" than to have a hard conversation. Orgasms feel good, hard conversations suck. So to me, even if I'm writing it? A lot of the time, having them fuck first makes more sense, because it's like... You are giving the reader something fun AND setting up the later acknowledgment/realization that it's just a band-aid and it's not enough.

c) One thing lends itself to a faster pace, the other lends itself to a slower pace. Now Iiiiii as a reader tend to prefer a faster pace? And I think that fic lends itself more easily to a slower pace, tbh, because books are written with a certain structure and word count in mind a lot of the time (and when they aren't, they often end up being verrrrry flabby, something that fics can be too, but it's more noticeable with a book because it's consumed all at once whereas fic is more broken up/serialized).

Basically: if I'm writing a book and I want the plot to move along, a grand gesture in or out of bed is going to move it along more than a conversation will. And I feel the same way when I read a book. So when I look at my shelf of grovels, a loooot of them fit the "start with sex/grand gesture" thing, even if there's work that has to be done after?

I'd try:

Act Your Age by Eve Dangerfield. This comes to mind because I consider it a softer grovel, and it feels more realistic in some ways and rooted in them spending actual time apart. I think that part of why this works is because their relationship is purely sexual in the beginning, so she needs the distance.

The Master by Kresley Cole. Again, a book that begins with a very sexual relationship, and his gestures are more in supporting her from afar. But I wouldn't say it's a slow rebuild after that.

Give Me More by Sara Cate. This is again one where it's kinda less of a grovel and more of (one of) the heroes realizing he needs to go work on himself to be better for his partners and coming back after taking the time?

Glitterland by Alexis Hall. This is definitely a verbal grovel, not a huge grand gesture or seduction. It's probably the clooooosest I've got lol, there's a lovely speech towards the end, but you don't see a lot of the rebuild on the page because it is again towards the end.

The Bride Goes Rogue by Joanna Shupe. He does a gesture grovel and they fuck a lot, but it's not *enough* which leads to him then having to do the work. But it's still a gesture to be fair lol

I wish I could offer something more strictly along the lines of what you're looking for! I'm just more of a "make him rip his own heart out and leave it on the table and/or eat her out until he grows gills" reader. It's the drama lover in me. You're not wrong to want what you want, to be clear! My instincts just swing to something different.

[inkwell-and-dagger]

For the edgy asks, all divisible by 5 for Ruaridh? 👀

:O OH MT GOD OH MY GOD OH MT GOD YAAAYYYYYYY!!!! TUANK YOU SO MUCH ANON THANK YOU THANK YOU I LOVE RUARIDH!!!!

OKAY OKAY SO I THINK IVE DONE THIS RIGHT. LIKE. MULTIPLICATIONS OF FIVE RIGHT?? SORRY IF I GOT IT WRONG BUT YK

5 — How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want?

I imagine that, during their time with Derwyn, they tended to beg for things such as more food (especially during the time where they gained more of an appetite during their gradual transformation) or even a day off of experimentation and tests when they needed some more time to like. Get Over™ the previous one. I think the furthest they've gone is begging and even like. ooh I forgot the word but for example they'd ask for a day off of experimentation they'd have less food or whatever for that day. again I forgot the word- either way the furthest they've probably gone is begging and making themself look very pitiful and pathetic to get what they want (ngl they probably still do this with helodite / anton + dew)

10 — What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC?

the most interesting, in my opinion (other than the crossover au/s I already have yay!! although they're more of like alternate timelines n stuffs) would be if Derwyn actually managed to turn Ruaridh into a mindless killing machine! the only reason why he made Ruaridh so monstrous was so they'd be more intimidating, thus more likely to scare people off (she basically wanted them as a kinda fucked up guard dog ig. living weapon whumpee yay!!) but the whole psychological aspects of changing Ruaridh's mindset entirely didn't work, which led to their abandonment. I think it'd be a nice thing to play around with as an au :3

15 — Does your OC have a faceclaim? If so, who?

I mean they have like. an official design? I've never really thought about face claims, so I guess their official ref pics is all I can give lmao

20 — Does your OC have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does this manifest?

to be honest, I imagine Ruaridh doesn't really understand the concept of jealousy. they've only ever been around Derwyn for their entire life — only been subjected to the emotions that she showed them — and thus they've never truly experienced jealousy towards another person! they've learnt to kind of push down certain emotions as not to upset Derwyn, and they don't really know how to un-learn that behavior. so, I'm not really sure!

25 — What is your favourite thing about your OC?

THEIR CREECHURNESS!!!!!!!!! also just how much of a sopping wet cat they are (affectionate). they should always be treated gently they will cry. I just. I adore their design and how they look like a deer in headlights 24/7. idk they hold a very special place in my heart

(MUTUAL OC CREDIT TIME BITCHES BECAUSE SOME OF THE OCS I'VE MENTIONED ARENT MINE AND IN FACT BELONG TO VERY COOL VERY NICE PEOPLE!!!!! helodite belongs to @/ash-1s-wr1t1ng and anton and dew belong to @/whumpy-wyrms!!)

[bitegore]

cut for length rather than contents; Motormaster surrenders to the Autobots and no one can figure out why and also Motormaster is not telling lmao.

The answer is a truly godawful pun that i'll have to save for next year because passover is over and also i made it this year and i want to get fresh, new groans and eye-rolls lmao

Motormaster glowered at the Autobots. Kind of funny, since he was the one who'd brought himself here in the first place. The growl of his engines promised violence, but the sword he lugged around was still in his subspace and the gun he sometimes used was nowhere to be found either. Instead he stood in the open desert sand in front of the Ark and looked pissed, and a little dusty.

"Can you, uh," Sideswipe, who thank Primus was actually behaving himself instead of hitting first and asking questions never, "can you repeat that?"

"I said," Motormaster ground out. "Put me in. Your brig. Dumb fragger. Do you have mud in your audials or something?"

"We heard you," Wheeljack said, raising a hand to forestall any insults that would turn into proper violence. "You're… what, surrendering?"

"Obviously not. Do I look like a fragging loser?" Motormaster said.

"Okay," Wheeljack said. "So what's the deal?"

"Put me in your fragging brig," Motormaster snapped. "This is not that complicated. Aren't you supposed to be some smart big-processors engineer or some slag like that? You take me on your ship and you put me in a cell, I don't see what the fragging hold-up is."

"And you're here alone," Sideswipe cut in. "And it's not some trick."

Motormaster's engine gave a nasty rev, and then he grimaced and stuck his wrists out. "Not some trick. What kind of a loser trick would this be? You sound fragging stupid."

Sideswipe looked over to Wheeljack, and Wheeljack shrugged. Yeah, something was obviously fishy here, but he wasn't going to say it in front of Motormaster--

His internal comms beeped, a message from Sideswipe.

SdSw: This is definitely a trick.

WhJk: Sure seems kinda weird to me, at least. WhJk: Keep an eye on him, I'm going to talk to Prowl.

Sideswipe nodded, hefting his blaster.

WhJk: DON'T shoot him.

SdSw: Aw, Weej, you sure I can't shoot him a little? SdSw: Yeah I get it. I'll keep him here, I'm gonna comm Sunstreaker for backup. SdSw: Tell Prowl i want my fireworks back :(

Wheeljack wasn't in a joking mood, and he didn't think Prowl would be either. "Alright, you two, hang out here for a couple minutes while I get things ready for you, alright?"

Motormaster's glare switched from the muzzle of Sideswipe's blaster back to Wheeljack. "What on fragging Earth is the problem? Should I have come gift-wrapped or something? If you were Decepticons I'd already be in an interrogation cell. If I didn't--"

And then, even more suspiciously, he shut up and glared at the ground.

Weird. Definitely seemed like some kind of trap. And not one Motormaster wanted to play bait in. Maybe the Stunticons were on the outs with the Decepticons, even more so than Jazz had been saying.

Wheeljack turned and hurried inside. The faster they could figure out what to do here, the better. Getting Motormaster into custody would be a pretty big win… but only if it wasn't playing into some Decepticon scheme.

"So, uh," Sideswipe said, after standing in silence for a few minutes. "What's the deal here?"

"You put me in a cell and maybe I don't break your face," Motormaster growled.

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Sideswipe had a gun pointed at him and Motormaster was open-handed; his face wouldn't be the one breaking if Motormaster made a move. "Why are you here?"

"To be put in a cell in Autobot control. Fragging-- custody. That scrap." Motormaster didn't look any less torqued than he'd done all day. It was funny. His jaw was set like he'd been grinding his dentae and there were grooves in his palms from clenching his fists so hard, Sideswipe got to see the little indents when he'd first asked to be cuffed and arrested. Whatever was happening here, he was steaming mad. Funny how that hadn't lead to violence yet, but there was still plenty of time left in the day. Maybe when Sunstreaker got here they'd prod him into a fight they could win.

A fight they could probably win.

"Okay," Sideswipe said. "That's fucking weird, though. You know that, right?"

"It's temporary, if that helps any," Motormaster growled. "You won't have to feed me or whatever for more than a week."

"That doesn't really make this make any more sense, you know that, right?" Sideswipe said, catching a silent ping on his HUD.

SuSr: Explain. SuSr: Fight or no fight?

Ugh, so Sunny was in a fucking mood. That was the last thing Sideswipe needed. He got to typing.

Ignorant as he was of Sideswipe's truly abysmal life and troubles, Motormaster glowered harder and then grimaced like he was trying to fight the urge to just go stomping off. "I don't really give a frag if it makes sense to you."

Sideswipe rolled his optics and then tagged that in as a multimedia file.

SdSw: No idea. I want you on my back so that if this is an ambush or something I don't get a hole put in my head. There's always one more stunticon than we think there is and slag. fucking listen to this and tell me something isnt up. SdSw: motormaster_saying_some_scrap_4-22-86-46-191387-122-195618.mp4

SuSr: … SuSr: fine. On the way.

"--and Jazz and Bumblebee both have good intel on the location of the other Stunticons," Prowl finished. "Apparently they're off looking for 'unleavened' energon, whatever that means."

Wheeljack squinted down at the table, trying to think. "You think they might mean unleaded?" he finally asked.

"I'm not confident it matters," Prowl said. "Regardless, there isn't anything to suggest we've got anything to fear from taking Motormaster into custody."

"But it's strange, right?"

"Very," Prowl said. "Wheeljack, hold that thought for a few moments. I'm going to tell Sideswipe to take him in for now, and then I'm going to rendezvous with Red Alert and see what we can work out. I'd like you to come with."

"Alright," Wheeljack said, standing up from the table.

[unforth]

I managed to completely forget I posted goals on Tumblr last January (I knew it was on a Discord, where I was pointedly ignoring it since...yeah. well. about that.) but I found it while looking for something else, and I might as well take a glance back.

Goals I set for 2022:

Personal Goals from 2022:

Get My Back Fixed: victory, to the extent that victory was possible. I had back surgery on Feb 7th, and that fixed the primary issue (spinal stenosis caused by a herniated disc). My arthritis still exists and flares every couple months but my doc already told me that's just gonna be the rest of my life. Since that part isn't fixable...well, at least the surgery helped.

Keep Losing Weight: I was up and down throughout the year, and ended up pretty much exactly where I started, at about 180.

Exercise: I maintained a regular stretching/exercise regimen, including a fair amount of walking and even a little jogging, from March through November. I slipped in November, but I started again last week, so...yeah.

Study Chinese: almost 100% success! At least I didn't fall down in every regard, lmao. I study for about 45 minutes every day, across 3 apps. I finished Duolingo's core curriculum and have a streak of over 450 days going atm. I bought a year subscription to DuChinese so I could practice reading and it's really helping my vocabulary. I didn't manage to do much of any translation but eh, I'll take it.

Community Goals from 2022:

Encourage Others to Create: I ran May Trope Mayhem again, and really stepped up the creation/publishing end of my business. I'll take it. I didn't manage to do anything with the kink memes and I've been waffling on just shutting them down tbh.

Keep Up the Destiel Archive: basically a complete fail. Like, the archive still exists and I answer asks and DMs and send people stuff but I've done basically zero upkeep/expansion/work on it.

Duck Prints Press: we managed 3 anthologies (two are technically not published yet but they will be in like a week and a half and all the work was done in 2022 so I'll count it). We didn't manage a novel, but we did publish a novella and like 20 short stories, so I'll call it a win.

Creative Goals from 2022:

Post Every Day: I managed about two weeks, and haven't written anything for myself since June, so yeah, uh. Yeah.

Work on WIP: nope

Make Progress on The Long Road: ...I thought about it on and off, does that count?

Post One Art Piece a Month: I might have technically actually succeeded at this? but not in way I know I intended when I set the goal and honestly, whatever.

Fibercraft: I didn't manage to cosplay anything - we don't really have the money - but I've definitely been doing fibercraft. I did a mess of crocheting last winter (and need to finish those projects now that it's cold again), and I did a lot of cross stitch over the summer and fall, and I'm currently working on a quilted wall hanging, so. Yeah. I'd call this one a success.

So...definitely a mixed bag. My kids ended up needing a lot more of me than I was expecting, especially over the summer and fall when I'd expected things to ease up, so that didn't help. And the business growing is just eating the entire rest of my life. I've definitely semi-intentionally decided to give up on some of the side projects and step back. Like, I don't like that I'm not doing anything on the Destiel archive, but I've basically come to accept it and I don't expect it to change. In my post last year, I wrote "I sacrificed a lot of my personal creative goals to make the business a success and ya know, I'm basically okay with it." And that really resonates, cause I'd absolutely say the same thing is true of this year. The business IS doing well - we earned more money than last year, and from far more diversified sources. I didn't earn enough to take a paycheck...again...but we're also less in the hole for 2022 than we were for 2021, and it really truly feels like things are moving in a good direction and that the work I'm putting in is accomplishing something. 2023 looks bright in that regard.

I'm honestly trying to move away from big declarative ambitious goals. They just make me feel like I've failed. So I haven't put tons of thought into my 2023 beyond "keep doing the things I'm doing that are working, and try to add in a few things that I haven't been succeeding at but would like to. So, with this entire post plus that in mind, my goals for 2023 are...

Personal Goals

Continue Exercising: I slipped on exercise in November and December. It was definitely doing me good before that so I'd like to keep it up. My goals for a while have been 10 to 20 minutes of stretching/Yoga/floor exercises 5 or 6 days a week, and a minimum of 2,000 steps a day every day, and I hit that very consistently until mid-November, so I think I can resume it now that the holidays are over and the kids are heading back to school on Wednesday.

Study Chinese: just. keep it up. I'd really like to work on a translation project this year. I've been eyeing the Tian Guan Ci Fu manhua (I own volume one in print), continuing my translation of the 2ha manhua (which is online), and/or poking at the Lie Huo Jiao Chou manhua, which is on the Bilibili app and has been taunting me from my favorited comics for ages. But if I just spend another year like I spent 2022, drilling HSK 1 through 3 until I've got them down pat and continuing the slow vocab expansion through DuChinese, I'll take it. It's getting the job done.

Community Goals

Figure out what to keep up and what to step back from: I really haven't been able to do a good job on everything, and I've put some balls down and can't say I'm terribly interested in picking them back up. I'd like to make more of that official in 2023, so I don't feel like I'm being pulled in as many directions, and so that the changes feel intentional and therefore More Okay instead of semi-accidental and accepted with resignation.

Art Sideblog Goals: I'm pretty behind on maintenance of cnovelartreblogs especially; I'd like to really get that organized, and to finally launch the Discord I've been building on-and-off for almost a year. I'd also like to get my backlog of things to blog under 10k, but honestly that's probably ambitious. I had it down a lot this year, but it's surged up since the twitterpocalypse and the holidays (though I'm still well ahead of where I was at the start of 2022, so that's something).

Duck Prints Press:

have 4 anthologies in the works (we already have two in the works for 2023; I expect those two to publish, and I'd like us to have 2 more in the pipeline even though they likely won't publish until 2024)

publish at least 52 short stories (a minimum of one a week)

publish at least 4 novels (I've got two in progress so I'm pretty optimistic on this one)

$40k+ in gross earnings

take a paycheck (even if it's only for royalties on sales of my own work)

publish one story a month of my own work

Creative Goals

Read 12 Books for Leisure: I set this goal in 2022 and while I technically hit it (Goodreads says I read like 70-something books), I only actually read 11 novel-length books because I wanted to. The rest was either manhua, or stuff I read for the Press. So, I've set my Goodreads goal as 72 works, with the understanding that at least 52 will be those short stories I'll edit, and I'm also considering signing up for a book bingo that a friend participates in on Dreamwidth. I don't think I'll have trouble meeting this goal tbh; even if I just read the Seven Seas danmei pubs, which I absolutely intend to, I'll probably hit it (considering I'm several volumes behind on both MDZS and TGCF...). Even if I don't, I'll be close like last year.

Write Something Each Week: I made a list of prompts for myself and ships I want to write for, and I want to try to write something for each prompt each week (in whatever order). Even if I don't finish a single one of them. Even if I hate it all. I just want to keep going on it. I also want to write one short story suitable for publication each month, probably pwp kink fic. (Week 1 is Hualian/were-creature, and I did work out an idea I don't hate...)

Fibercraft: I started blankets for the kids last winter; I'd like to finish at least one of them. And just. Keep making things. It's good for my brain. Much better than the like 6 weeks I spent this year rotting my brain with Merge Dragons at night. *sweat drop*

Anyway, I wouldn't say any of these are resolutions, since most of it is stuff that's already going on. It's really more "I've got the boat sailing the direction I want, now let's just...keep that up..."

Also, it'd be really nice to not be fucking exhausted all the time. That'd help. Just saying. *weary sigh*

[iamthecomet]

Hoot once again!

I‘m really glad to hear this. Our little ritual means a lot to me <3

I am so sorry for her, but very glad that she figured it out now. Growing up undiagnosed can be (and is most of the time) very traumatic

While I’m a bit younger, I still spent my entire childhood and half of my youth (I’m gonna pretend it has been only half of it so far cause whatever the fuck I had/have is most definitely not a joyful youth). So while I can‘t fully relate, I still kind of get it and can at least imagine how it must me for her

It‘s pretty hard to get an autism diagnosis, because it cannot be done by a regular psychiatrist (unlike ADHD for example, which is why I at least have that diagnosis already). In my area there is only one place where you can get a diagnosis and the waiting list is LONG (not the worst I‘ve seen so far but at least half a year, which is terrible if you need to get help as quickly as possible but you need a diagnosis to get any kind of help). But I’m working on it

Thank youuuu

I planned chapter 2 out yesterday

It ended up to be “only” 5 pages, but it has 39 panels (chapter 1 has 24 panels)

So I think I’ll still get more of the story across even though it seems to be one page shorter

I will most likely start working on it in November

Your day sounds pretty nice!

Today, I was really stressed and worried about something and I did it okay-ish, but I can‘t change shit anymore now anyways so I’ll have to stop worrying and just wait and see

I also had a doctors appointment to get blood drawn and tested (cause due to the meds I take I’m apparently at a higher risk of malnutrition/lack of some stuff) and it was literally the most pleasant doctors appointment I’ve ever had.

I was a too early (as always) and had to wait outside a bit because they were still on lunch break but I was let inside a few minutes earlier anyways and so I was alone in the waiting area. And the nurse was incredibly kind and nice (she had me lay down for it because she didn’t want to risk that I could pass out and then she let me take my time to get back up again). It was overall incredibly nice and I was done not even 15 minutes after my appointment (so none of that annoying waiting time that usually comes with doctors appointments)

I also wanted to mention this in the past days already but I somehow didn‘t haha:

So I saw Someone do OC-tober and I absolutely LOVED the idea! (I’m one of these people that just never really draws their OCs lmao)

So I put together a prompt list for myself and I’m really excited about it ^^

(I‘m also planning on participating in Ghosttober with my writing which is why I’m probably going to be a little stressed all throughout October which is why I’ll most likely start working on chapter 2 in November)

I once again truly hope that you had a pleasant day! ♥️

~ @owlishanon

I like our little ritual too! ♥ When my friend got her diagnosis she couldn't get it from a regular psychiatrist either. She also got her ADHD diagnosis a couple years earlier because that was much easier. Autism she had to take a handful of tests over a period of time to actually get the diagnosis. But she was 98% sure what it would be before she got it. So I guess it's a pain in the ass no matter where you try to get it. Hoping that you are able to get through that process soon and get the help that you need. I'm glad your doctor's appointment went well and was easy. That's such a rare thing. And that you had a nurse who was really accommodating and understood what you needed. I was wondering why you said you would work on chapter two in November, until I got to the end of your ask. There are A LOT of things going on in October. And it will be kind of nice to take a pause on working so hard on that and doing some other stuff. I'm really excited for kinktober/ghostober whatever we're calling it. I'm trying to get the first week written and ready this week so that it's less likely that I fall behind. We'll see how that goes. Day one is written and ready to go--so that's something at least. And OC-tober sounds SO cool. I'm excited to see what you end up doing with that. I'm sure that will be a lot of fun too!

[ishikawayukis]

fr anxiety has been a little shit but I think I’m managing lately, could definitely be worse lol but I’m glad you’re doing better!! :’)

es que a veces la gente realmente me sorprende con lo ciega que decide estar JAJAJAJAJAJA literal en wano mostraron tantos momentos que te demuestran cuánto realmente se aprecian y respetan pero la gente solo se fija en “okay pero quién es más fuerte porque entonces el otro no sirve” kskfbekfj??!!? I’m so done with these people I might throw hands one day lol

JAJAJAJAJAJA por un momento me sentí mal pero luego recordé “la verdad es que me tomó casi un año creo que si logré controlarme” JAJAJAJA ALSO THE FREAKING DRUMS DAMMITTTT🗣️‼️‼️‼️ yo sabía que en wano tenía que aparecer gear 5 y pues por los fanarts me imaginé que Joyboy era el nombre como Snakeman or whatever PERO CUANDO LLEGA ZUNESHA Y DICE “I can hear them, it’s been so long” o algo así yo dije juepuya hoy si JAJAJAJAJAJA that was truly amazing I loved it, the animation was *chef’s kiss* literal volví a ver ese momento como unas tres veces porque amo la animación de g5🫶🏽 pero si Luffy el mc ideal, nadie más tonto e inteligente que él JAJAJA

istg it is a challenge to ignore them and remind yourself that they’re literally not understanding the plot or the characters at all, pero la recompensa es de vez en cuando ver teorías locas y reírte porque no, no va a pasar pero que matado de risa que esta fue su conclusión amigos JAJAJAJAJ Franky is the best I sweaaaar necesito más momentos de Franky, Soul King, Jinbe, idk I have a soft spot and respect for all the over 30 strawhats they are everything🫶🏽

si cuando volví a ver ese primer episodio de thriller bark y Luffy de una invitando a Brook sin saber nada de él me mató de risa otra vez JAJAJAJAJAJA like I remember I did find everything funny and nonsensical as always, pero volverlo a ver me dio más risa porque es recordar que Luffy solo viene por las vibes y la verdad es lo que deberíamos de hacer, vivir la vida y disfrutarla sin tener que tomarla en serio 24/7

YES YES YES LITERALLY THE MAGIC GIRL TREATMENT🫶🏽✨ amé ese momento tanto y efectivamente le sigue cuando Hawkins y Drake lo ven e inmediatamente “bro is that THE stealth black??? IM FIGHTING STEALTH BLACK??✨” JAJAJAJAJAJAAJ los verdaderos fanboys, Oda por favor dame más momentos así JAJAJAJA Y SI AAAAAAAA cuando Sanji empezó a tener su breakdown yo literal queriendo que cualquiera apareciera y le diera una cachetada y luego un abrazo porque no, ya establecimos que te queremos por ser tú ya BASTA JAJAJAJA más con la promesa que hizo con Zoro ay no, yo asumí que concluyeron que ya no bc I want to be delusional and happy that nothing bad is going to happen JABJAJAJ más que le dice “I came back from hell to kill you” OKAY??? JUST FOR HIM THO?????? cómo ser Sanji para que Zoro regrese de la muerte por mí la verdad 😔✌🏽 JAJAJAJAJAJ

if you end up throwing hands please let me know so that i can join you LMAO

casi un año es lo normal diría yo AJJAJA i just went a little insane and had a lot of free time and didn't want to Think LMAO the gear5 animation is honestly the best fucking thing and soooooo so luffy too, and can you believe once again that the dudebros hate it because it's "too goofy and not serious enough" like my guys pLEASE none of you are allowed to watch this show anymore

i just knoooooooow franky, brook, jinbe and robin all have a little 30+ group that no one else is allowed to join where they rest from their captain's nonsense and zosan constant fighting for a little while LMAO

literally oda give us more silly moments and my life is yours LMAO noooooo esq esa promesa y zoro literal diciendo volví sólo por ti? i know what you are 👁👁 but also soooo many people do think is gonna end up happening and i'm like hey man why do you love pain, why are you like this who hurt you man