#okay sounds like something the metatron would say

[gardenvarietydemon]

"Aziraphale is selfish"

Good for him. No. No. Babe, look at me, this is important. GOOD FOR HIM.

First off he's the sweetest and best boy and he deserves to get to be selfish.

But also, also, and this is the important bit, you also deserve to be selfish. Literally, not even is it just okay it's healthy, you should be selfish sometimes. It's needed to survive.

sometimes I see people calling Aziraphale selfish in an accusatory way, as if it's a flaw that needs to be smoothed out, as if it isn't a trait that is at once defiant and emancipating, as if his selfishness isn't mostly wielded in an empowering and kind way, as if it's categorically bad to want things for yourself, to enjoy them, to have and keep them, as if selfish isn't the most revolutionary thing an angel can be

[armageddidnt]

Welcome to My Collection of Random Thoughts during my nth* rewatch of Good Omens Season 2

*only amazon prime knows the exact number at this point but I’m fairly certain it’s in the double digits

Episode 1: Gabriel’s fly lurking in the box when Aziraphale first takes it inside 👀

Crowley’s promise of “two minutes” basically means that he’s been homeless and living in his car for the past 4 years strictly so that he can be within 2 driving minutes of Aziraphale at all times in case his angel needs him I’m not crying you are

So here I think the key word is “fragile,” Crowley knows they are ostensibly safe from their respective sides but that could change at any moment so he’s basically spent the last 4 years in anxiety-ridden terror hovering as close to Aziraphale as he can to try and protect him from heaven, hell, and anyone else that would want to bring him harm after all that business they pulled in season 1 with stopping Armageddon

Episode 2: I just happened to pause the episode while Aziraphale is lying to the angels about his miracle and LOL Michael really outdid himself here (Sheen, not the Archangel)

Gabriel trying to swat flies and almost smashing the repository of every single one of his memories

I’m cAckling

So if Good Omens exists in Good Omens, does that mean Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett exist in Good Omens?? Do you think they based their Aziraphale and Crowley characters on Aziraphale and Crowley??

Episode 3: So I’m trying to find any hints or foreshadowing of the Gabriel Beelzebub thing bc tbh I did kind of feel like it came out of nowhere which is really the only issue I have with them. I found this one scene where Beelzebub almost ?? seems to be concerned about Gabriel ?? But it’s blink and you miss it and there could be lots of other reasons why Beelzebub doesn’t want to fail in locating Gabriel (pressure from/leverage over heaven, etc) so idk

More Foreshadowing Fly content 🪰

Episode 4: So here we’ve seen that Shax can just appear inside the Bentley bc she did it earlier to talk to Crowley. Shax only pretended to be a hitchhiker so she could be invited in because Azirpahale was driving so technically she needed permission to cross the threshold of an angel 👀

This scene will never not destroy me the 1941 flashback is the absolute sOFTEST thing ever to happen on this show

We really need more context here I need to see the Crowley-Furfur Monkey Rides

Episode 5: ahahaha thank you google translate for absolutely destroying my sanity this evening

POP goes the Ziraphale

Okay I know you can’t hear it in the gif but just before Nina takes Maggie’s hand, there’s a very quiet miracle noise, like Azirpahale literally MADE Nina dance with Maggie, he said I’m writing a Mina Jane-Austen-Ball-AU and my otp will KISS godDAMMIT

Azirpahale seems lowkey kind of manic this whole scene tho, he’s controlling literally everyone to force Nina and Maggie together and whenever Crowley says anything that pokes holes in Aziraphale’s Magical Jane Austen Ball Fairytale, Aziraphale just straight up denies it. He wants Nina and Maggie to dance and he wants him and Crowley to dance and he refuses to acknowledge anything beyond that.

Is this just Shax insulting Crowley for how much of a nuisance he’s been or a reference to his former status as an angel ???

They’re both completely dismissive of each other when they’re trying to say something important and that’s the main issue they’ve been having this entire season tbh

Episode 6: I think it’s funny that Crowley describes the angels as bees here because in the book, Neil/Terry describe humans the same way. Guess we have more in common than we thought huh?

So the metatron was the one who originally decided Gabriel would be memory wiped and not sent to hell, and he was also the one that decided not to sound an alarm about Gabriel for some reason and said ‘just go find him yourself’ instead. The metatron has definitely got his own agenda and you can bet he doesn’t want Aziraphale up there in heaven because he’s a “leader” and he’s “honest” like that’s exactly what Gabriel was and look where it got him 👀

There’s just something I can’t quite put my finger on about the metatron bringing Aziraphale a coffee from “give me coffee or give me death” and then asking Aziraphale if he’s going to take the coffee he’s giving him…

I have not seen a single person talk about this since s2 came out but Nina literally calls Maggie “angel” because that’s the term of endearment they hear Crowley using for Aziraphale !!!! I’m still going fERAL over this and I can’t believe no one else is eitHER

Something about this part of The Final Fifteen compared to this scene from the first episode is so representative of the entire season. Azirpahale keeps saying “my way or get out” and Crowley finally hits a wall and can follow Aziraphale no further. So he does just that. He goes.

I’m sure a lot of us by now have seen this post that brings up how Aziraphale literally pushes the remains of Crowley into his mouth and swallows and it’s the only thing I see when I watch this now

We still don’t know for certain if Crowley queued up this song to play on their way to the Ritz or if the Bentley started playing it all on its own and it’s driving me insane

Basically how I am doing after my Truly-Alarming-Number-th watch of this traumatizing episode/season. WELP hope you enjoyed this garbage dump of my thoughts and feelings time to go cry for a bit again BYE

[raz-writes-the-thing]

perhaps a lil crowley x reader req?

inspired by strange love by halsey?

as a treat?

not me going into this song for the first time (never heard it before) expecting something super melancholy. anyway! here you go, cutie!

Requests are: OPEN

No Pity for the Wicked (18+ ONLY)

Masterlist

Crowley x GN!Reader

No use of Y/N or pronouns (They/Them used only)

CW: angst, angry fucking, hair pulling, Crowley ignoring his feelings (canon honestly)

It's been six months since he left. Crowley's Angel. His best friend. His other half. It's been six months since he's heard a Goddamn peep.

And yes, he doesn't care so much anymore about blaspheming against the name of God. He was always so careful about it around his Angel.

Now? His Angel is gone. His Angel isn't there to care what he says.

Gone to follow along with the Metatron's plan all the way to his and everyone else's destruction, no doubt. How could Aziraphale not see that? How could Aziraphale not see past the surface to the rot underneath? And they called Hell ruthless.

Nevertheless, the last six months had been Heaven on Earth for Crowley. His only Hellish piece of reprieve was his favourite pet. His mortal. They'd all been friends before Aziraphale left.

Well, this moral had accompanied him and his Angel around despite their warnings against it. A Demon and an Angel could be discorporated and come back, but a mortal? Well, one little mistake and they were gone for good.

This little human. This pet had stuck extra close to Crowley since Aziraphale had left. Crowley hated to see the pity and concern painting their face when he was having a particularly awful, nice day. Not that any of them were all that... Hellish any more.

But it was the pity that really irritated Crowley- a Demon already prone to frustration and mild to moderate anger issues, mind you. And if this human- asked him one- more- time, if he was okay; he was going to lose it.

Of course, as humans were always going to (a flaw in the design if you asked Crowley)- this particular mortal would push, and push, and push until Crowley's metaphorical buttons were all but snapped in half. And Crowley had had enough.

And that's how Crowley found himself balls deep inside his pitying little mortal, doing his damndest to convince them that, actually, no. Crowley did not need their pity.

Crowley snarled above them, pulling at their hair, yanking their head back away from the Bentley's door. His mortal's breath fanned across the windows, streaking the glass with damning evidence of the acts being carried out within.

"I- am a Demon," he snarls, teeth flashing dangerously by the mortal's ear. "I am not to be pitied." This is emphasised with a hard thrust from behind, causing the mortal to yelp, hand slapping up against the fogged glass to keep themselves steady.

Crowley lets out a deranged throaty chuckle, hand coming down to grip harshly at his pet's hip.

"I've lived eons on this pathetic excuse for a planet. This Earth-" The hand wraps harder around the mortals' hair. The hand on the glass slips, smearing through the fog marks. It's a wonder they can hear Crowley over the sounds of their own whimpers and moans. "This breeding ground for sin. I have seen eons of pain, and I'll see eons more!"

Crowley's head tips back, baring his throat's apple. A little lock of hair falls over his forehead- the only indication that he was at all affected by the pleasure of his hips snapping forward into the tight heat before him.

His mortal whines out Crowley's name, lost in the haze of being fucked by a Demon. Crowley had had thousands of years to learn how to fuck the way Humans liked it. More than enough time, clearly, given the fact they'd already come twice and another was well on the way.

Of course, the mortal knew deep down that this was not a convincing way for him to show them that Crowley was okay. That was obvious to anyone with half a brain cell, but this didn't mean they were going to argue- what with Crowley's decidedly not entirely human-feeling dick buried inside them.

"Fuck- Crowley-" They whined, eyes squeezing shut.

"No," Crowley hisses, twisting their hair so the mortal could just see him over their shoulder. They couldn't see his eyes though, sunglasses still hiding those from them. A coping mechanism, they suspected. "Look at me, pet. Look at me when you cum."

The mortal whines, hand reaching back to brush Crowley's hip in warning. They were sure the human body wasn't quite meant to be this flexible, but Crowley didn't care. He needed this, whether he knew it or not.

Crowley's thrusts increase with urgency, both for himself and his mortal. They're both close, and they know it. Crowley lets go of his pet's hair, allowing their head to flop forward and their cheek to press against the Bentley's leather backseat.

With his other hand free, Crowley is able to grip both sides of their hips and pull them back against him, thrusting hard and fast to reach that blissful peak where he might be able to forget. Just for a moment.

His mortal finishes with a cry, fingers grappling with the leather as they try to work their way through the assault. Crowley fucks them through their orgasm, prolonging the pleasure they're feeling without mercy.

It takes only a few more thrusts before he finishes too, coating their insides with ropes of his cum, an almost-roar ripping its way through his throat. The pleasure hazes his brain for a minute or two, courses of pleasure wrapping around his nerves.

Slowly, he pulls out, watching the way his mess starts to drip out of his mortal. He chuckles breathily and waves a hand to miracle away the mess. He's kept the Bentley in such pristine condition all these years. He's not going to let it go now.

"I- do not- need your pity," he pants, pointing an accusatory finger at his mortal who promptly nods and collapses against him, snuggling up close. They know it's not true. They know he needs them right now.

They're happy to wait as long as it takes though.

Crowley's worth it.

[ladyofthe-lake]

"Homestead" — a Suptober ficlet

Summary:

Instead of finding human!Cas working at a Gas ‘n’ Sip, Dean finds him at a beehive. Day 18: Family Business

“The bees are dying,” Cas tells Dean with sincerity. And that’d be all well and good, except, well, Dean can see that the bees are not, just now, dying, because they’re – all over Cas’s fucking arm. He’s carrying them like that, allowing them to swarm him, across the lawn. He’s wearing jeans, a t-shirt, work boots, and a baseball cap. He looks good, he’s got a little stubble.

“Okay,” Dean says slowly, unsure if Cas has lost his marbles once again. Maybe in the fall, maybe in losing his grace, something knocked loose again and he’s back to how he’d been after taking on Sam’s brain demons, as it were.

“I’m going to save them, one at a time,” Cas says, and he slides open the door to one of the hives and allows the bees to release themselves from his arm into it.

“That sounds… real good,” Dean says hesitantly. He’s keeping his distance from the hives. They’re in a large, open yard behind a farmhouse and there are several hives as well as flower beds, vegetable patches, and a chicken coop.

“Unfortunately, with the speed with which bees are dying, it’s affecting the ecosystem,” Cas informs him, finally pushing the final bees from his arm and stepping back from the hive.

And Dean would love to care about that, but dealing with a lot right now, he cannot take on concern for the bees. Maybe later. “Okay, Cas, but shit’s kind of a mess at the moment,” he replies.

Cas nods. “I understand. The angels, Metatron, Sam’s health. It’s all disturbing.” His expression is grave, and Dean knows that he’s not lost his mind, that he has a grip on reality.

He’s just… Cas.

It warms him, and he smiles to see it. That Cas is really here, he’s safe and alive – actually alive, not angel-alive, which is weird, and he’s Cas.

Dean’s felt alone in everything lately. Though he knows he’s got people on his side, good people, Cas is the one he really wants.

“So I’m askin’ for your help here, man,” Dean says. “Some weird shit’s going down, angels are loose cannons everywhere, and–”

“They’re cannons that I placed across the earth, Dean,” Cas responds, moving to the next hive and leaning down to inspect it closely. Dean follows him through the grass.

“Right, so… I’d love your help trying to fix all this,” he ventures.

Cas’s gaze finds him and he straightens up. “You know, they have a wonderful operation going here,” he says, and Dean can tell he’s about to be taken on some metaphorical journey like the angels love to do. Best thing to do is strap in and find out the destination when he gets there. “It’s a homestead, it’s entirely self-sufficient, and they support the local homeless community with the food they produce.”

“That’s great–” Dean knows better than to try to get off the ride early, but he tries anyway.

“I was hungry, and Bethany, the woman who brings the food around to the encampments, spoke with me. She said that they’re always happy to have help here, and well, I happen to know a thing or two about gardens. So I agreed."

“Very cool–”

“And,” Cas’s voice cuts across him again, “now I’m part of something wholly good. There’s no Heaven or Hell here. There are the chickens, the rooster that wakes us all at dawn, the eggs to collect, the beehives, the vegetables.” He looks at Dean, his expression serious, his eyes sad, though his words attempt to be hopeful: “This is a good place, Dean.”

Dean deflates a bit. He knows what Cas is saying, he gets that it’d be nice to be part of a little farm instead of all the shit they’re in on. “People like you and me, we don’t get to choose our life, Cas,” he says.

“But what if we could? What if we set up something like this in Lebanon? We could do it all. Sam could get involved, too, he could figure out the logistics. I can tend to the animals, you can do the planting and building. It could be a family business.”

Dean bites his lip, peers up at the sky for a moment. “Cas,” he says, his voice near breaking. “We already have a family business.”

Cas looks down at himself, at the jeans and t-shirt, the workboots. “I know,” he says quietly. “I’ll get my things.”

[onceuponapuffin]

Fanatic Intervention Part 3!!

Okay, this thing needs a name. Please suggest ideas in the comments :) I know this part is tedious, but the thing with self-insert is you have Establishing to do before any Real Action happens. We'll get there, just hang on.

//Edited to include title.

Beginning || Previous || Next

***********

The shaking must have been more visible than you thought, because Muriel is at your side before you can speak. They touch your shoulder gently.

“Um, excuse me,” they say, “Sorry, but you’re shaking an awful lot. Maybe you should sit down.” You nod, and it takes concentration, but with Muriel’s help you make it to the sofa. Apparently caffeine and adrenaline aren’t the best mix. Your breathing speeds up, despite your best efforts, and the rest of the room feels fuzzy. Shit, you do not need this right now. There’s talking and movement, but listening to the words feels too sharp, and the best you can do to convey that you are not okay is to shake your head over and over and over. You reach out a hand next to you, and are surprised to find the sleeve of Aziraphale’s shirt. It’s not ideal, but it’s something, and he doesn’t pull away. You focus on the feel of the cotton, the button on the cuff, the pattern of the stitching in the seams. Slowly, you’re able to tune back in. You focus on your breathing, you look around and count five things that start with B – button, books, brown, bow tie, black. Crowley hands you a mug of cocoa, and you accept it, running your thumb along the porcelain wings and letting your hands feel the heat of the drink. You take a sip and take stock.

Multiverse travel (?), mouthing off to the literal Voice of God (lol), brush with death (or...eternal saltiness?), confronting your very limited mortality (at least it’s 5 lives and not 3), panic attack. WELP. This is going well so far. Just peachy. You take another sip, and notice that everyone’s waiting. Oh, right. You clear your throat.

“Thanks,” You say, “Sorry about that. Um...I’m gonna guess that you all have some questions.”

“That would be accurate, yes,” Aziraphale says next to you. Now that you are better, he stands, straightens his waistcoat, and moves to stand nearer the chair (and Crowley), and watches you with his hands folded in front of him. “The first of which is, who exactly are you?”

“Buckle in, folks,” You say to them, “You’re in for a ride.”

And so you begin your info dump. You notice Muriel taking dedicated notes. Good, they’ll probably need those later. You tell them that you’re not sure exactly where you’re from, but it’s not here. You explain the tv show, the radio show, you even mention the musical, and of course, when you get to the book, you ask Crowley to find it on the shelf behind him. It’s right where you remember Jim leaving it. Crowley opens it, and you begin on instinct:

“’It was a nice day. All the days had been nice. There had been rather seven of them thus far, and rain hadn’t been invented yet.’ Now skip a couple lines Crowley. ‘I said that one went down like a lead balloon.’ Sound familiar? There’s more.” You stop quoting there, because Crowley has started flipping through the pages quicker. Aziraphale holds out his hand, and after a while, Crowley hands it to him, then goes to a corner where you notice him taking a few deep breaths. You lean to the side to see that he’s not smoking, exactly, but definitely smoldering. You look at Aziraphale next, and see him turn white as a sheet, before handing the book to Muriel’s eager hands. The scrivener is the only one who looks delighted as they flip through. Aziraphale cleares this throat and composes himself.

“Uhm...now I believe you told Metatron that...The Almighty sent you here. Is...is that actually the case?”

“Honestly,” You say, “I have no idea. I just needed to get him out of your shop and away from you.”

“Away from...me?”

“Yeah...um...” You notice that Crowley has come back to the conversation now, although his sunglasses are slightly askew. You glance at Muriel, who has noticed the shift in your tone, has closed the book, and is now watching you. They put the novel on the nearest surface and reach for their notebook again.

And so, you explain the most solid fan theories that you know. That their joint miracle from the other day made them a threat for Apocalypse 2.0, and that Metatron was here to separate them, by offering Aziraphale the job of Supreme Archangel. This news is met with...surprise.

“Well that’s just stupid,” Crowley says, “He says no, in your tv show, clearly.”

“Yes, I rather can’t imagine I’d be so keen to return to Heaven after everything.”

“Weeeeelllll…...”

The room goes silent, except for Muriel’s writing. They stop after a moment, unaware of the silence.

“So then, you were trying to keep them from being separated because the power of an angel and a demon is most powerful together.”

“Yeah, or the power of love maybe. I’m not sure. Neil’s been kind of vague on that point.” You intentionally keep your gaze on Muriel once you realize what you implied. You will get there. Making those two talk about their feelings is on your list. Patience, patience.

“Oh, the author – Neil Gaiman?” Muriel points at the book with their pencil.

“Yeah, him. He answers questions sometimes.”

Muriel makes a note. You realize something.

“Wait a minute, Muriel,” You say, “Are you...on board with this?”

Muriel stops writing and considers your question for a minute.

“Well, see, the thing is,” They begin, “I’ve seen an awful lot that I never thought I would see? Just in the last week. Like a demon being nice –“

“HEY! Not nice!”

“And the Archangel Gabriel being in love with a demon and running away with them. And then you fell out of nowhere, and honestly what you said to the Metatron may have been a lie, and therefore, you know, bad, but it makes sense. If God didn’t want you here, you wouldn’t be here. So if I help you, I’m helping the Will of God, right?”

Crowley is the one to break the silence that follows.

“Honestly I would have thought it’d take longer for you to take after me. I have to say, I am impressed.”

“Take what after you?”

“Nevermind.”

“Well,” says Aziraphale, “Is there anything else that we need to know about?”

You think about the kiss. You think about everything that came after. You think about ‘and I would like to spend -’ But no, none of that is relevant now. Why do you feel like you’re forgetting something?

The bell at the door rings. You turn around to see Maggie and Nina. UGH. Right.

“I’ve got it, ladies, no worries! Come back later!” You call, desperately.

“Excuse me! No, we need to speak to these two now if you don’t mind!” Maggie says. Clearly she doesn’t care who you are or what you’re doing here.

You roll your eyes. Honestly, you don’t have beef with Maggie and Nina. You agree with them telling off Crowley and Aziraphale, it’s just that you can’t help but feel that the clock is ticking. But, well, there’s no helping it is there? With a sigh, you stand.

“Come on, Muriel,” You say, “Let’s go to the kitchen and get some more cocoa while these four talk.”

Muriel follows you into the kitchen. You don’t listen, you don’t need to. All you need to do is refill your drink while Maggie and Nina tell them off. While you’re at it, you try to convince Muriel to have one. Despite your best effort, you’re unsuccessful. Oh well, all in good time. When you hear the bell chime again, you go back into the shop to find Aziraphale and Crowley looking very pink in the cheeks. You can’t help but smirk.

“All right, chaps?” You say in your best-terrible-British-accent. Aziraphale nods. Well good. Because you all have work to do.

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 🖤

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[ineffably-good]

GO season 2 MASSIVE CONSPIRACY thread (spoilers)

Only click read more if you have seen the whole show or don't mind spoilers, okay kids?

Ok so I dunno who's noticed this but the metatron is shady AF when he shows up in episode six. Why is he buying coffee? And why does he push it so hard on the angel when he gets to the shop? I literally thought for a minute it was poisoned and Aziraphale was going to die, which of course is NOT WHAT HAPPENS, but did anyone else notice that there's a very quiet but noticeable miracle sound when he hands the cup to Aziraphale and makes him drink it?

The Metatron. Did something. To the Angel.

Something to make him malleable. Biddable. Willing to give up everything he loves. I'm convinced of it.

I mean, religious trauma yes. Of course Aziraphale would be insanely tempted by the sudden approval from the Metatron and, by inference, God herself when he's asked to take over. It is definitely possible that he would be torn but willing to give up what he wants for the chacne to do good and make things right.

But the fact that the Metatron asks him if he wants to bring anything along from the shop and he looks around like he has never even cared about any of it and says no, there's nothing here he needs?

NO FREAKING WAY.

He'd go, maybe, but he'd take Oscar Wilde and one of the old bibles, and in my brain he'd secretly take one of his many hidden momentos of Crowley. A feather maybe. A note.

And I don't think he'd have been so completely oblivious in the way he told it to Crowley.

Thoughts?

[aaronontherun]

Okay, there are two things about the ending of GO S2 that I cannot get out of my head after finishing the rewatch:

1. Gabriel's descent to earth

2. Aziraphale's reaction to the offer of Metatrash

(The rest under the cut)

The thing about Gabriel's descent to earth is that when he comes down to earth, he has not been fired yet. He decides to come down.

What's interesting about this is that in the last few minutes of the last episode Gabriel says his original plan was to leave heaven to go to hell, to join Beelzebub.

The quote goes:

Beelzebub: "Silly, silly angel. Why?"

Gabriel: "I was coming to you, but I... I forgot."

So... he had not been fired yet (because he left heaven before Michael and the lot could get a hold of him again). And he had originally planned to go to Beelzebub ("oh, you're sending me to hell, aren't you?" -> he was kind of counting on that). But after hearing he will lose his memory and go down to earth, he decides to ditch that plan and make himself forget all of it to go to earth (where he did not really intend to go in the first place) to give a box to Aziraphale that says "I am in the fly", that he knows will make him remember.

Why?

My working theory is that since he was the highest ranking angel, he knew about the plans of heaven. He knew about the second attempt at Armageddon of course and he did not want that to happen, because of his love for Beelzebub and the war that would break out. But I reckon he also already knew about the Second Coming.

And by wiping his own memories, he deleted that knowledge for all of heavens associates. But by storing it in the fly and transporting that to earth instead of hell, he brought it to the safest place he knew.

"The Second Coming will be a fearful, mournful time for the wicked, but it will be a day of peace for the righteous."

I don't know if I am reading something into it here, but to me it also sounds like a clue. The only other pair that kind of unites the powers of heaven and hell like Gabriel and Beelzebub is Aziraphale and Crowley. And we know that connection to be quite a strong one (as seen by the "teeny tiny miracle" that ended up sounding every god damn alarm bell in heaven). Crowley is a fallen angel and does not particularly care for heaven or hell and Aziraphale is still an angel and also does not conform with everything that heaven does. And Gabriel knows that.

BUT as far as we know, neither Aziraphale nor Crowley have had contact with the fly or the memories. For now we only know Gabriel kept his memories out of heaven by going to Aziraphale and that he probably knew more than he let on.

The question is, does the fly still exist or did it get destroyed when it went into Gabriels eye?

Also, given the CLUE that takes up almost half an episode - the part of the song that we don't really get to hear is this:

"Everyday seems a little longer,

Every way, love's a little stronger"

Everything we have seen points to an ending where you don't have to choose a side. Where there is no need to categorize into black and white, but to just accept shades of grey. Which is obstructed by heaven (the big corporate agenda, that needs people to think in black and white) and hell (which holds the outcasts that could not keep up with the agenda, but still cling onto it in their own competitive way).

Okay and this is the perfect transition to Aziraphales reaction to the Metatrons offer.

Because after years (or millennia in Aziraphale's case) of being oppressed and silenced and having to be careful around everything he says, I think Metatrons offer to put him in charge of heaven is in Aziraphale's eyes the only perspective of ever getting out of his misery while still doing good.

He *could* have given up heaven and fallen like Crowley, joining him that way, but instead he takes the route of trying to take Crowley with him to the very top of heaven.

Which, in my eyes, is a very very clear sign of the abusive relationship he has with heaven.

I don't think he realises that he is still just a pawn in a big chess game, also and especially as archangel of heaven.

As both Beelzebub and Gabriel said: "As if we make the rules..."

That is not how it works.

(I also find it very interesting, that the voice of god (basically the manager of heaven) asks if anyone ever "asks for death" (I mean, come on) whereas god, talking to Job, is genuinely fascinated by him and his goodness.)

I don't know if I can put this thought process into proper words, but I feel like the problem is that Aziraphale is still clinging to the whole concept of "doing good" and preserving his own status in the organisation. I don't think he is going up there to "change it from the inside" with a wicked plan in mind. When the Metatron made the offer, he told him that he would be "such a good leader, kind and honest", "be able to make a difference, be put in charge of everything". Which is exactly how they get you. He did not tell him he would be in charge of the second coming right off the bat. He lured him with being able to make everything better for everyone (which is all Aziraphale really wants) while keeping and continuing to receive approval from above (which Aziraphale is so afraid of losing).

Which is also what he tells Crowley about. The trust he is being given, the opportunity to make a change, the opportunity for Crowley to regain validation from heaven.

And only when he has accepted the offer, the Metatron specifies the details of the deal and that "doing good for everybody" means initialising the Second Coming, that has already been well planned (and that is everything Aziraphale never wanted to be a part of, but he won't disappoint them by saying no now).

"We could have been us" feels so powerful in that context, because I feel like what it really meant was "we could have been us without the approval of anyone". Without the need to justify their actions, think about right or wrong in the sense that heaven or hell would have categorized them. The freedom to work as a team, as the shades of grey they naturally are, containing both "good" and "evil" in a way that they balance each other, not desperately trying to put one of them out. (Also worth noting here, that throughout the seasons Aziraphale *has* done "evil", but only if he could somehow twist it to be "good" (see the episode with Wee Morag, right?), which showcases the pointlessness of categorizing again).

"I forgive you" from Aziraphale is such a heartbreaking line here, too. Because it is not him speaking, really. It is him already speaking in place of the organisation he is going to work for. "I forgive you for not regaining approval. I still love you."

"Don't bother", Crowley says and his whole posture drops. "For me it was never about that."

[comicallybadwriter]

“You don’t need to talk.” Aziraphale started, making an obvious choice to keep his hands to himself, even though reaching out to comfort the demon was all he wanted in that moment. Crowley had to chide himself for thinking it was what he wanted as well. “But I need to apologise, for everything I’ve done to you Crowley, everything I’ve put you through and all I’ve kept from you.”

Crowley swallowed thickly, still refusing to look the angel in the eye. He was staring out the window, watching as Nina’s shop took customers in various numbers. A couple of humans were sitting in their designated spots. It made the demons heart stutter.

“I-” The angels voice faltered, then came back after a second of breathing- “I’m sorry for leaving you Crowley, and for not explaining why. I shouldn’t have assumed you wanted to be an angel again, I just- I remember you so vividly with that beautiful bright smile and those stunning white wings, and I got excited.” Aziraphale had started fiddling, not that it was uncommon for him to do that, but it was always a weak point with Crowley’s ability to stay mad. “I wanted to be able to change Heaven so bad, to be fit for you, and safe for the world. For humanity. I wanted- I still do really, to be able to say we were on the same side, and Heaven not be able to do a damned thing.”

That got Crowley’s attention, “You can’t just-!” His eyes went wide in search of something to say, but Aziraphale shushed him again, “I said far worse things upstairs before I got back, let me finish.” The angel shifted on the bed, and sucked in a breath, “You had done nothing to be forgiven for… after you- we, I mean that is-”

“I get it, Aziraphale.”

“Yes, well,” He cleared his throat, face warming up at the memory. “I shouldn’t have… it shouldn’t have happened like that. There was just something nagging me in the back of my head, shouting over and over again, that it wasn’t- that I had to leave. That there were far more important things to do in that moment in time.” Once the words had left his mouth, Aziraphale realised how it sounded, “That isn’t to say I’m making excuses! I merely mean, I’d never felt like that before, my head was… fuzzy. And after what the Metatron had offered me, and oh- I was so excited to tell you- to change the whole thing. To let you know that I would be there for you at the drop of a dime But I-"

Silence filled the room until Aziraphale spoke again, desperately hoping that he’d get Crowley to speak to him again, to say anything to him, scream shout. Not just one worded answers. “So I- I well, I came back down when I heard you were… well it doesn’t matter does it. I came back down, and I don’t regret a thing.”

Finally, Crowley grumbled something incoherent, and Aziraphale perked up. “Pardon, dear?”

“I said, it does matter.” Crowley stood up from the bed, then reached out to nothing in particular, before dropping his hand again. “It should matter. I should matter Aziraphale! But you-!” His voice broke for a moment, before the demon took an unsteady breath in- “You chose them. When it mattered.”

It wasn’t supposed to go like this, Crowley knew that, but he couldn’t help it. He was tired, he was scared, and he was angry. He wanted to go back to before, when they could get drunk in the bookshop downstairs without visitors, and Crowley could snap his fingers, so the record player was making beautiful music that seemed to always entice the angel to hum along no matter how intoxicated. He wanted to go back.

“I was the one breaking into the shop when it was burning to the ground, terrified you had been taken from me forever, and who drove through literal fire and flames to get to you when I found out you were okay! I was the one who went up to Heaven. I was the one Gabriel told to walk into Hellfire, and I was the one who had him look at me- who he thought was you- and tell me to shut up and die. Me not them!” Crowley felt tears slipping down his face as he waved his hand upwards towards Heaven. “I went up and found out what was wrong with Gabriel! Told that anyone involved would be erased with the book of life! Me! Me! No one else!” Crowley felt like he was losing his grip on reality, jumping around with every shouting word he let out. His hair flailing at his shoulders as he sniffed and wiped his face.

“And I-” he took another breath in, though it did nothing but indicate how he was shaking- “I was the one who stood beside you when push came to shove. I believed in you.”

The anger collapsed alongside the demon, and he fell back on the bed, a right sobbing mess. If Aziraphale wasn’t the issue there, then Crowley would have sunk into the angels arms and appreciated the hug, but he didn’t. He couldn’t.

“Crowley I-” shouldn’t have left you alone to carry so much- “I-” loved you so much it hurt to be near- “I- I can’t possibly find the words to apologise. If it meant I had to stand on my hands for the next century and do our apology dance upside down, I’d do it for you. I need you to know how sorry I am.”

[mimisempai]

Finding a new purpose

Summary

It was one of those days.

Crowley just wanted to sleep and do nothing.

But the appearance of a little bee might just help him find new meaning in his life. Even if it starts with something as simple as explaining how to make tea.

Notes

I'm not familiar with depression. But with the help of a friend who guided me through it, I could made my way to through this story.

On Ao3

Rating G -  1905 words

Crowley felt a gentle pressure on his cheek, followed by Aziraphale's voice softly in his ear, "Crowley, my dear, I must get up. I promised Maggie I'd meet her at 9:00 to discuss ways to make the record store thrive."

Crowley mumbled, "I thought you had an arrangement."

He felt the angel's hand stroke his hair as he replied quietly, "It remains unchanged, but poor Maggie needs to be able to earn enough to live on, too."

"Mmmh."

Aziraphale asked him gently, "Do you have any plans today?"

Crowley turned his head to Aziraphale and sheepishly replied, "No, I... I don't feel like doing anything. I think I'll go back to sleep. I'm sor..."

Aziraphale put a finger to his mouth and shook his head, "Hey, don't be sorry. It's one of those days, and it's fine. Rome wasn't built in a day, we both know that."

Crowley replied, "You're too good to me."

Aziraphale leaned toward him, "Not at all. I want you to get better, and you'll only get better if you give yourself time and don't try to force things. One step at a time."

"'Kay..."

Aziraphalel pressed a kiss to the demon's forehead, tucked him in, and planted a final kiss on his cheek before saying softly, "I'll be back in two hours." Then he rose and walked down the stairs. Crowley listened to the sounds until the tinkling of the shop door told him the Angel had gone out.

So he snuggled down a bit more under the covers and slid over to the side of Aziraphale's bed, burying his face in the still-warm pillow, which was also impregnated with the angel's scent.

He tried to fall back asleep, but he couldn't stop certain thoughts from running through his mind.

Aziraphale looked happy, thriving in his life, now independent.

He no longer needed Crowley.

He'd protected his friends, defeated a demon army, stood up to Metatron. Without Crowley.

He no longer needed Crowley.

But what was Crowley's purpose now?

No more apocalypse.

No more angel to save from himself and others.

What was he good for?

What if Aziraphale grew tired of him?

He was patient with him.

But even an angel's patience could run out, couldn't it?

And he no longer needed Crowley.

Despite all these thoughts, the demon finally fell asleep, only to wake up a few moments later to a noise downstairs in the shop. He looked at the wall clock and realized that it had only been a few minutes since he had fallen asleep, so it couldn't be Aziraphale who was already back. Sighing, he got up, dressed quickly, and walked down the stairs in silence. He heard the same noise again, and it seemed to be coming from the back of the shop, so he went there.

There, to his surprise, Muriel was staring in confusion at an empty cup, the kettle, and the tea box.

They murmured, "A cupperty, a cupperty."

The demon could not suppress a small, amused smile and asked, "How about a hand, little bee?"

Muriel gasped and turned to him, "Oh, Mister Grump- Crowley. I didn't know you were here and I..."

He held up his hand, "Calm down. You have every right to be here and have a 'Cupperty'. So I repeat, do you need help?"

Muriel sighed with relief and sheepishly confessed, "I have no idea how to do this, it's usually Aziraphale who makes me tea."

"Okay, little bee. So tell me what you want. You have a choice. I'll make you tea or I'll show you how to make it and you won't have to depend on anyone else. Your choice. No judgment."

Muriel nodded eagerly, "Show me how."

Crowley nodded. He had no doubt what their answer would be if he was honest with himself.

So he gently showed them how to use the kettle, how to make tea, and a few minutes later they were both sitting at the round table in the back of the shop, enjoying a cup of tea for Muriel and a cup of coffee for Crowley.

Muriel inhaled the smell of their still too hot tea with delight and said to Crowley with a smile, "Thank you for helping me. You're a really nice person."

Crowley was about to open his mouth and protest as usual, but something in the angel's demeanor stopped him. Probably because they exuded this aura of innocence and he didn't want them to lose it too quickly.

He simply nodded in acceptance of the gratitude and praise. It was strange, but not as uncomfortable as he'd thought.

Muriel continued, "I am grateful to you and Aziraphale."

Because... for the first time in millennia I don't feel like a nobody. I mean, there's you two, Maggie, Nina, everybody's nice to me. Nobody talks down to me."

Crowley thought back to the moment he'd accompanied Muriel to heaven, to their oh-so-isolated desk. And of course, he couldn't help but think of how Aziraphale had been treated.

"I don't want to go back up there."

Muriel's sentence snapped Crowley out of his thoughts and he immediately replied, "And you're not going back. Whether it's me or Aziraphale, we'll fight for it if we have to, and more than that, just like with the kettle, I can teach you to defend yourself. But whatever happens, my little bee, we'll protect you."

Muriel nodded and took a sip of tea, "Hm... this human drink is absolutely delicious."

Crowley, now with a mocking expression on his face, said, "For starters, you need to stop putting 'human' everywhere. It's the best way to show that you're weird. Not that you're not." 

He snorted slightly.

Muriel, not offended, replied, "I'm glad to see you're doing better than when you came down. I mean, you're still grumpy, but you don't look sad."

Crowley replied, "Sassy and sharp, huh? That's good, it'll help you."

They were right, he was feeling a little better. While he had originally planned to stay in bed all day, he didn't feel like it now. He still didn't really know what to do with himself, but he didn't feel like doing nothing either.

"Do you need help?"

"We'll protect you."

To have a purpose.

Big or small.

"Oh, you're both here?"

Aziraphale's voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

He saw the flash of surprise in Aziraphale's eyes before he leaned over and planted a light kiss on his cheek.

Muriel emptied their cup and stood up, "I stopped by to borrow a book and Crowley helped me make some tea."

Aziraphale raised an eyebrow at Crowley as Muriel continued, "And now I'm off."

As they left, Aziraphale sat down next to Crowley and asked gently, "Are you all right?"

Crowley nodded, "Better."

Aziraphale asked no more questions, went to make himself a cup of tea and returned to sit across from Crowley with his cup

Crowley took a sip of coffee and said, "I... I think I'm starting to realize something. In my darkest moments, what kept me going was you. Knowing that you needed me. But ever since we averted the apocalypse, it's like you've soared, become independent. And believe me, it makes me happy to see you thrive, it really does. But it made me realize that you don't need me anymore. I had made you my sole purpose, you had nothing to do with it, and that's been taken away from me. So why get up in the morning? What is my purpose? These questions went around and around in my head. This morning again. Until a few moments ago. And just now, something as trivial as showing Muriel how to make tea gave me the beginnings of a sense of purpose. That I might still have something to offer."

Aziraphale had listened carefully, and when Crowley had finished, he pulled his chair closer and took his hands.

"You say I had nothing to do with it, but I'm still sorry you feel that way. And I want to make one thing clear to you. I still need you. Not to save me. Not to help me. I just need you. In my life. Not because you can give me anything, but just because you're you. Just you. And yes, you have a lot to offer, I always knew that, you've given me so much from the beginning and I'm glad you're starting to see that for yourself. But know that my love for you, my need for you, will never depend on what you have or don't have to offer."

"Thank you for helping me. You're a really nice person."

Maybe it was starting there.

Crowley said quietly, "I know it's just a start, a very small start, but it's there."

Aziraphale leaned over him and said gently, "That makes me very happy for you. And I hope I don't sound too condescending, but I'm proud of you. Really."

Crowley simply said, "Thank you."

After a few moments of silence, Crowley said in a serious tone, "We have to protect them, no matter what."

"Who? Muriel?"

Crowley nodded and told the angel about his conversation with Muriel. 

"You see, I saw their 'desk' up there. Mostly I saw their loneliness. I saw how they were treated. To the point where they saw it as a miracle that Metatron needed them when you and I both know that they would have been just a pawn on his chessboard. I want to help them to know their own worth, to be able to stand up for themself, I-what, angel?"

Aziraphale looked at him and smiled fondly, "It's good to see you all fired up about something. And I think you're just the right person for it. I seem to remember an angel you helped in much the same way. That angel took a while to open his eyes, but that didn't stop you from persisting."

Crowley chuckled, "Well, he was a bit of a pain in the ass at times, but..."

"Crowley!"

"But also incredibly lovable. I had no choice."

Aziraphale chuckled softly, "Idiot."

He reached up and gently stroked the demon's cheek and asked solicitously, "Are you sure you're all right, my dear?"

Crowley nodded and replied quietly, "I think so, yes. Anyway, I'm on the way to."

Aziraphale looked at him in silence for a few moments, then asked, "What do you want to do today? I decree the store is closed today."

Crowley chuckled before replying, "Well... we could go to the park, feed the ducks, and then finish off with brunch at the Ritz."

Aziraphale, whose eyes had brightened at the mention of brunch at the Ritz, replied enthusiastically, "I like that program. But first..."

Crowley raised a questioning eyebrow, "But first...?"

Aziraphale opened his arms and said quietly, "Time for some love."

Crowley laughed lightly, but nonetheless went to snuggle up to his angel, who closed his arms around him.

There, in the comfort of the arms of the one he loved, Crowley began to feel a weight he did not know he carried lift from his shoulders.

There was no doubt that the road was long and had only just begun.

There would be detours and setbacks.

But he knew there would always be someone to help him find his way back. 

All he had to do was keep moving forward and never let go of his hand.

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story  🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Ineffable Growing Love series : here (After season 2)

Ineffable Husbands masterlist : here (Before season 2)

[gayforanthonyjcrowley]

ineffable parents

This is part 2, if you didn’t read part 1 yet, check my account if you like :)

————

‘ Crowley.. what happened? Please.. t- just tell me. ’ Aziraphale did his best to sound calm, Crowley was already freaking out enough for the two of them. ‘ remember.. ’ Crowley begins, ‘ remember when I asked y-you.. to send some pictures to hell? ’ Crowleys trembling body began to relax a bit ‘cause of the alcohol. Aziraphale didn’t say anything, he just nodded and looked Crowley straight in his eyes. ‘ well.. “hell” doesn’t stand for hell in my phone.. I put heaven in my phone as hell, ‘cause, you know- ’ He doesn’t finish the sentence, but Aziraphale knows exactly how it ends. ‘ f- Crowley.. please, show me your phone.. I need to see what they said. ’ Crowley hesitated ‘ angel.. be prepared. I’m so sorry. ’ He hands Aziraphale his phone, knowing what the angel is about to read.

Michael: What the- demon? Why does that kid look like Aziraphale.. mixed with.. you?

Muriel: Uhm.. mr. Crowley? ( Muriel of course knows about Robin, they were even there when Robin was born. )

Michael: Muriel? What is this?

Metatron: Muriel- there is a demon angel child on earth.. and you didn’t inform heaven?! THAT MONSTER NEEDS TO BE DESTROYED!

This is just the beginning of the chat, Muriel tries to defend Robin and themself, but they are just being ignored by the rest, other angels get involved in the discussion about if the child should live or die. Aziraphale starts crying, Crowley grabs the phone out of his hand and hugs him. ‘ What do we need to do? ’ he whispers holding back tears. ‘ I can’t believe I’m saying this.. but I think we should ask hell for help. ’ Aziraphale sounds so broken, how could his former side be so cruel? He already knew that heaven wasn’t as good as he always believed before he was promoted for archangel, but this? Crowley nodded and pulled Aziraphale just a little closer. ‘ I’ll ask Beelzebub what we need to do.. they always know something. ’

‘ THEY SAID WHAT? ’ Beelzebub is furious! Beelz was the only demon who knew about Robin before hell found out, they even looked after Robin when Aziraphale and Crowley needed a little time for themselves. ‘ IT’S NOT POSSIBLE THEY WANT TO KILL SOMETHING SO CUTE! ’ They love Robin, who couldn’t? Robin is one of the sweetest creations on earth, a little quiet, but very smart, kind and funny. ‘ Beelz. Please, tell me what to do? ’ Crowley grabbed their hand to calm them down. ‘ I- I might know something, but.. I don’t think you or your angel are gonna like it.. hell- I don’t even like it.. but it’s the only thing I can think of. ’ Beelzebub looks to the ground, not wanting to pronounce their plan. ‘ Fuck, beelz- ’ he didn’t finish his sentence. Beelzebub, finally able to look at Crowley, miracles a notebook and a pen. ‘ walls have ears you know, can’t be too careful. ’ Beelzebub starts to write the plan, with an unpleasant expression on their face. They hand the piece of paper to Crowley and disappears before Crowley can read the first sentence.

At home Aziraphale is waiting for Crowley. He has Robin in his arms, not wanting to let go of them. ‘ Robin, I don’t want to scare you, but you need to listen carefully to me, can you do that? ’ Aziraphale tries to stay calm while thinking about what to say next. A soft little yes leaves Robins mouth. ‘ There are some people who want to do bad things, your dad and I are always gonna try to protect you, but your getting at a age where we can’t always be by your side. I want you to promise me that you won’t talk to strangers okay? And if you don’t feel comfortable in a situation- ’ The door opens and Aziraphale looks up. ‘ daddy! ’ Robin climbs of off Aziraphale and runs towards Crowley. ‘ Hey little one! ’ Crowley kneels to the ground and hugs Robin. ‘ I need to talk to papa, would you be a good kid and play in your room? ’ Robin nods and goes upstairs. ‘ Angel ’ Crowley breathes. Aziraphale walks over to him and kisses him softly, he pulls away and looks at Crowley. ‘ Fu- Angel, your not gonna like this. ’

————

Just like I said in my post from yesterday, please let me know if there are any grammar mistakes, thank you! I didn’t have time to read and check for mistakes myself, but I’ll take a look later and edit if I find any.

I can’t promise anything, but I’ll try to write part 3 tomorrow.

[tonydaddingham]

does aziraphale actually at any point agree to come back to heaven? even after the metatron offers to restore crowley? because take all the time you need doesn't sound like he agreed yet. the flashback cuts immediately after the ascension offer without looking at his reply. he dodges directly answering tell me you said no. crowley takes it as a foregone conclusion based on his evasions and reacts accordingly the metatron acts as though he's agreed to cut off his escape routes but i'm not conviced he actually ever did...

(2/2)

hi anon!!!✨ lots of things to talk about here!!!

okay first thing's first, something definitely feels off about the cuts in the metatron-aziraphale chinwag, and the way it's intersected with aziraphale telling crowley, there's no two ways about it. i do think to some degree there is something we are not seeing.

that being said, i think it could potentially be quite... cheap? narratively to have a Big Reveal of *gasp* we didn't see the whole conversation! now if that does happen, im absolutely sure i'll be proven wrong in that assessment, and it'll be great. however, i personally don't like it that much, insofar that i think it can sometimes reflect a poor opinion on audience intelligence (ie. i prefer to find out there were clues hidden in plain sight to about 95% of the 'Answer', you only had to look hard enough to work out what was going on, then maybe a surprise twist for the remaining 5% - rather than something be purposefully and entirely kept from the audience).

so for example, i felt this way about the gabriel/beelzebub storyline. what had happened to gabriel was hidden in plain sight - the fly, the box, the memories, the matchbox etc - but the little twist obviously being him and beez falling in love. beautiful, splendid!

but for there to be a Big Reveal that metatron made an overt or even thinly veiled threat against aziraphale and/or crowley? that feels a bit too Big to reconcile, imo, with the rest of the scene. there are definitely indicators, the more that ive rewatched the Final Fifteen with this perspective in mind, that aziraphale is scared, or uncertain. the way he looks out the window, his facial reaction to what crowley says to him (shaking head, looking confused, etc)...

but i don't think he's been threatened. i think he maybe feels threatened or has Worked Something Out, but i dont think metatron actually intimated any kind of threat (tbh, i felt like that was the whole point of metatron's behaviour in the Final Fifteen). as for whether aziraphale had accepted the offer though - i completely agree that i don't think he had made up his mind completely until a very Specific moment.

i do believe that aziraphale wants to change heaven, and do the good thing of making a difference; i think that its simultaneously very in-keeping with his core traits (and his character development up to this point has naturally led to this decision), but also a step forward in some aspects too - put simply, bc it would be a whole other meta and tbh a point ive talked about quite extensively from my recollection, i definitely think both of the boys needed to separate.

but as to specifically why aziraphale was so willing to make that difference; well, i think he realises that metratron is potentially dangerous. he's smarter than metatron has given him credit for, and aziraphale realises that whilst he may not know his motives for doing so, or what specifically metatron could do, i think he has put together a number of Clues that indicate that he and crowley might not be as safe in the bookshop as they thought they were (and i had to actually parse this out in a separate post, anon, bc i got so excited!!! your ask completely inspired it, so thank you!)

so with this potentially in mind, he leaves the bookshop (and not until possibly clocking this dirty look thrown at crowley, just for good measure):

and settled down across the road with metatron. metatron offers him the job, CUT, metatron gives (?) aziraphale the power to restore crowley, CUT. then aziraphale, as you said anon, starts to come back across to the bookshop, and tell crowley what happened. as you said, metatron's line indicates aziraphale has basically said, "well, i'll need to run it by him indoors first", and metatron has acquiesced, it seems.

so yeah, just to hammer home your point, i definitely think that aziraphale has said something like, "i need to think about it", for metatron's first line to make sense and for it to flow. and his expression, keeping with the kindly old man, indicates to me that he hasn't gone nasty or threatened him at all, but instead is almost taking the "kill them with kindness" approach, which is all the more powerful because it makes the victim, so to speak, arrive at the conclusion they wanted but by their own conviction.

anyway, so aziraphale is all smiley, until he crosses to the bookshop, and it's apprehensive and stiff and uncomfortable. i think this for me is a telling sign, because if he were expected crowley to want to be an angel again, and to be with him, what would aziraphale have to be nervous about? personally i think it's to do with the aforementioned potential realisation that whatever he says to crowley in the shop, he needs to be careful in what he says and how he says it.

as soon as he steps in the shop, it's back to smiles. nothing's wrong at all. in fact, i have good news. aziraphale is looking out the window just as metatron has turned from muriel to look right back. then, when crowley starts rambling (my brave soldier), you need to stop talking, i need to tell you this and i need to tell you this now before anything happens or you end up saying something and land us in deep shit, because i think he can hear everything we're saying (just chopped together a bunch of shit to demonstrate this):

and then aziraphale starts to lay out what the metatron has offered to him, even pulling himself up on potentially offending him by indicating that aziraphale and crowley both might have had a shitty word to say about him after the metatron's less than helpful rhetoric in s1:

im not going to go ahead and gif the rest, but the following notes through aziraphale's account of the conversation and the offer made to crowley:

aziraphale barely blinks after the above point in his monologue, and is definitely agitated and restless compared to when it cuts to the flashback of him and metatron at justine's restaurant

an obvious thing that everyone has remarked but; aziraphale first asserts that he doesn't want to go back to heaven, to which metatron plays the crowley restoration card

as soon as metatron says, "(paraphrased) looked back over your previous exploits with the demon crowley", and aziraphale goes from frozen, deer in headlights, to visibly uncomfortable and panicked - swallows, eyes start darting away (previous pretty firm eye contact with metatron), pursed lips... all indicating to me a mixture of 'oh he's definitely been watching us/has had the power to', and 'oh shit it's worse than i thought'

we don't see aziraphale's face after metatron finishes his offer of restoring crowley - did aziraphale continue to look scared? did he look relieved that a threat hasn't been made? does he even look relieved that metatron doesn't appear to be splitting them up, but instead is offering an option where they can still be together and protect each other? we don't know.

i do think aziraphale was taken in by the promotion; i do think he wants to do exactly as ive said in previous metas. i think he does want to make a difference, do the right thing. not the clever thing, or logical thing, but the right thing. the minisodes literally led to this point, directed us to this being the pinnacle of his character development so far.

i think he genuinely thought that the restoration offer would solve everything re: his and crowley's safety, and their future together - he acts truly shocked that crowley would turn it down. i don't think crowley has ever really told him about the fall, or why crowley is so vehemently repulsed by heaven and therefore by the offer by extension. aziraphale sees it as an overture made towards crowley, a way to set right an egregious wrong done to crowley, and - like the photograph in ep4 - a way that aziraphale, once again, can actually be the one out of the two of them to protect them both.

this to me is why the metatron's whole offer, start to finish, is so clever, and so dumb, and why it would be so gratuitous to even bother with an overt threat. it's clever because it plays into aziraphale's core beliefs and the tenets of his character - especially those that crowley taught him. it's dumb because there's so much that metatron got wrong, like the coffee, and only set off (imo) the alarm bells for aziraphale that things are Not What They Seem. but ultimately aziraphale arrives at the conclusion - especially post-Feral Domestic - that he has to go to heaven. metatron didn't need to threaten him; the decisions that you reach yourself rather than be coerced or ordered into are always the decisions that stick.

i think aziraphale knew he was going to go to heaven as soon as metatron offered it. i think he knew, however this was going to go, it would not be an option he couldn't take. the bit he didn't foresee, that he thought would be guaranteed, is that crowley would want to help him and be with him, not force him to go against his core self (the bit that wants to do good and do the right thing), and not put his faith and trust in aziraphale even if he could never again put it in heaven. im not saying aziraphale is right for thinking or assuming that - far from it - but that must be somewhat along the lines of how he thought this would go.

so essentially, anon, if you've stuck with me this far (bless you if you have, you're so brave), i do largely agree! and it's parsing out this ask that has made me seriously consider if i think that aziraphale knows he's in some sort of peril. i think he does - but i don't think the metatron knows that aziraphale knows. that's pretty powerful knowledge. the opening had been made, a declaration of intent has been made apparent, and now aziraphale needs to respond. i think aziraphale is going to need to play a very tough board here, consider where he moves his pieces, and start planning the middlegame as soon as he can - something, if you ask me, he's already doing:

[songbird-of-eden]

WARNING: GOOD OMENS S2 SPOILERS!

Okay, so I have a lot of theories bouncing around in my brain after watching the finale of Good Omens S2.

I understand the fandom is currently drowning in a sea of angsty, shared suffering, HOWEVER, I want to voice my opinions and theories of how I personally saw things play out in the finale.

Firstly, I know there's currently a lot of anger directed towards Aziraphale right now. And I get it, but at the same time, I have some thoughts.

This is a man who believed he would be giving Crowley, the being he cares about most of all, the greatest gift he, or anyone including God herself, could ever give: a chance to become an angel again. To go home. To be together.

So brainwashed into believing Heaven to be the "good guys", he truly thought he and Crowley could make things better and be happy up there. He saw the flaws of the system. He saw an opportunity to change it. At least, what he believed to be.

But the Metratron is downright devious in this finale.

He tempted Aziraphale with earthly goods (the coffee) before manipulating him by saying everything he wanted to hear. Which sounds pretty demonic when you think about it! And why? Because of two reasons:

Aziraphale knows Earth. He is a pool of knowledge Heaven can use. Too valuable to be erased.

And, more importantly, Zira and Crowley are the only two beings with the power to truly stand in the way of Armageddon. By intention or dumb luck, they thrawt Heaven and Hell's plans time and again. Let alone the fact that their shared miracles create surges of power so incredible, most angels only believe this to be achieved by the strongest among them.

(I am calling it now - this is gonna be a big plot point in a potential season 3. Perhaps as a way to restore the world).

Now imagine pitting Aziraphale and Crowley against each other. The Metratron knew Crowley would never accept the offer, but now, he has them separated and hurting. The trap is now set for Heaven's plan to spring.

(Tbh, I would not be suprised if the Metraton was watching Crowley and Aziraphale kiss, to use as a form of blackmail or threat when it serves).

Other things like something being in the coffee by the Metatron's insistence that Zira drinks it, to the worried expression of Muriel in the background looking in to the shop before she waves are... interesting, to say the least. But, those are theories for another time.

But my final and biggest point, is that, for me, Aziraphale finally realised that Heaven was playing him. Despite his naivety, he is anything but stupid, and all these years spent with Crowley have rubbed off on him.

As soon as he heard of the 'Second Coming', he looked away from Crowley and went with the Metratron with a coldness we rarely see.

He knows the only way to save Crowley, is to find out what is going on in Heaven and try to stop it.

Remember the discussion about bees in a hive? Aziraphale is acting like a wasp. Feigning innocence, imitating his way in to earn the trust of the angels once more.

He realised in that moment, Heaven was not going to stop, and all he could do is play along to find the corruption at its source.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

[misterspectacular]

GOOD OMENS 2 SPOILERS, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, JUST STATING MY THOUGHTS BASICALLY

SO MY FRIEND AND I BINGED SEASON 2 OF GOOD OMENS THE SECOND IT WAS RELEASED! What an adrenaline rush pahahahaa to have waited that long, and finally get it, it was a lot, I think we almost died.

(I dunno how to do the "keep reading" thing so have some dots)

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I honestly would say that season 2 of Good Omens is better than season 1. Nearly the entire thing was Crowley and Aziraphale. YES. They're what I want.

Also, the way the flashbacks were arranged -- perfect! They were longer and more fleshed out and we got continuations of some of them! Huzzah!

Gabriel was hilarious, as usual. Jim was even funnier. Conflicting feelings about Gabriel for most of the season, I started forgiving him towards the end though. The thing with Beelzebub was pretty nice.

It starting off with angel Crowley, he was such a dork, finding out he KNEW AZIRAPHALE THEN, wow! Highlight!

The apology dance was a highlight,

Crowley drinking poison and shrinking/growing and sounding like a Leprechaun was a highlight,

All of Crowley's different accents -- all highlights.

THE FACT THAT CROWLEY IS THE ONE THAT GOT AZIRAPHALE EATING, THE WAY THAT WHOLE THING HAPPENED, THAT WAS CERTAINLY A HIGHLIGHT.

Crowley pretending to be EVIL!!! I didnt fall for it for a second, I was like, yeah okay so where did the goats actually go hahaa! Into the crows, amazing!

Aziraphale with his halo, that was freaking awesome -- he was pretty badass in this season, at some points.

THEM DANCING TOGETHER!!! Jfhsnsnehdiend

The magic act! And it working, even without using actual miracles!

Crowley making it rain, ha, I did that in a RP.

Aziraphale being... look, he's freakin adorable, the way he cradled the, well, the tumor -- I mean, it sounds weird, but it was actually incredibly endearing -- he was very endearing, as always.

THINKING HE WAS GOING TO FALL, and crying about it, and Crowley cheering him up!! YESSS

And... Crowley's realization... SAYING AZIRAPHALE COULD NEVER BE A SIDE PIECE jddjsbdje

Crowley FALLING APART as he OPENS UP TO AZIRAPHALE!!! OUCH! That was like being stabbed, but somehow in a good way, because YES HES SAYING IT, JESUS FUCK

And...

THE

KISS

Like holy-fucking-moly! Dream come true, right there!! I did NOT expect things to go in that direction, I thought we were going to play it safe, and I am so glad that I was wrong. I've wanted these two to kiss for A LONG TIME, I've role played kissing AZIRAPHALE SO MANY TIMES, I've written stories, that was -- well, this was my response at the time: hfjdnelsneksndkwndjskwjznwjs jdneksneksjs disndjsnskw djjwdne idens! LITERALLY A DREAM COME TRUE, NEARLY EXPLODED!!! Like Crowley and Aziraphale literally kissed, mouth to mouth, its canon, it happened, the music swelled, they did it, it's real. Never thought I'd have pictures of men kissing up on my wall but I think I might need to print that out and hang it up, this was not just a highlight of season 2, this was A HIGHLIGHT OF MY LIFE! THANKS FOR THE NOURISHMENT, GAIMAN

and the nightingale thing -- "I don't hear anything" "that's the point, no nightingales", killed me man. THE NIGHTINGGALE, WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE NIGHTINGALE! OW! I DID NOT CRY ABOUT IT, I SWEAR ! ! !

Aziraphale saying I FORGIVE YOU ksndjwnsje I dont understand why he said that when just seconds ago he was saying LET US BE TOGETHER HOORAY, my friend and I were talking and I said, well last time he said I FORGIVE YOU it was after Crowley called him stupid, and my friend was like, well didnt Crowley call him an idiot this time, call back, so maybe that was it,

Aziraphale touching his lips like that after the kiss, holy fuck, A++++, but a painful A++++

and then CHOOSING METATRON!?!? WHAAAAAT?!?!?! I was reeeaaallly hoping he'd run to Crowley and KISS HIM or SOMETHING, but he -- METATRON, NOOoooOooOooo!!! So that was an extremely painful ending. and I realize that for Season 3 to happen, something would HAVE to push fans into creating that build-up and that NEED for another season, but.... OW! how long do I have to live with this pain??? If season 3 is NEVER MADE, it's going to end on this note??? it'd better get made jdbekdnwksn HOLY FUCK, I also better not DIE BEFORE IT'S MADE. I'll be over here, guts out, "cant die... yet... need... to see... Aziraphale and Crowley... make up...! Need... season... 3...!"

So yeah I'll be watching that over and over and over and over and over and over and ov

[hannibalissobbg]

I wrote this on a whim for myself and a friend as a way to cope with s2 🫶 just a side note the fight isn’t exactly word for word like the episode i rephrase some things

I dont wanna leave you now:

After a striking conversation with Nina and Maggie, Crowley felt it right in his soul that today was the right day to be honest with angel. It was now or never. He, however was terrible with words especially when it came to his own emotions. What would he say? I’m in love with you, nows the right time to say it please tell me you feel the same it’s been 6000 blasted years? No that wasn’t right he had to say something better than that or else angel would laugh in his face, no he’s too kind for that. He would just give Crowley a look and then he’d want to run away anywhere and leave London for the rest of this planets life.

He was thinking far too much about what he’d say so much so that when angel came into the shop he didn’t even notice.

“Crowley!” His voice practically lit up the room, and Crowley turned quickly at the sound of his name being voiced by angel. He froze and his anxiety peaked, however he pushed it down hoping it would go unnoticed by him.

“Listen I have something to tell you” This was voiced by the both of them, Crowley glanced at him curiously. Had Metatron told him something? Surely it wasn’t that serious, right?

“Listen I think it’s best if I start off all the talking-“

“How do humans phrase it? Oh yes! Hold that thought my dear, I have incredibly good news to share! Okay so um! I talked to Metatron and he told me that well they were looking for someone to replace Gabriel in the position of supreme archangel” Crowley stood silent, hoping almost pleading internally that angel wouldn’t be leading to the direction that was becoming evident he was pushing towards.

He continued to speak, eagerness and excitement in his tone.

“And I asked him who would he choose? Michael? And thats when he told me, well he told me I’m the one for the job. He even said.. well he said..” His eyes gleamed and crowley’s heart dropped as he told him what Metatron has said. He felt like he had been jabbed in the gut. His mouth felt like it was glued shut, as if he couldn’t utter a single word. Still he uttered three words.

“He said what?”

He continued speaking.

“He said I could appoint you to be an angel you could come back to heaven and well everything just like the old times except even nicer, isn’t that something?” He smiled in awe, looking for some type of acceptance in crowleys eyes that weren’t there, that could never be there.

After a long minute that felt much longer, he finally spoke.

“And you told him directly where he could stick it then right?.. Right?” His voice seethed with boiling anger, but he wasn’t yelling either. Angels eyes widened at his response, it wasn’t what he had hoped for and Crowley could tell. And it tore him to shreds, he felt he might collapse.

“Well..I.. not at all” he said with an unbothered smile, that hurt Crowley worse than any other words he had uttered.

“I don’t need them, I certain don’t need hell either! When they asked I said no! I would never rejoin those guys! ” His voice raised in disbelief, here they were discussing the same old thing of heaven and hell.

“Well of course you wouldn’t theyre the bad guys!” Angel said with an Indestructible smile “But heaven on the other hand well it’s the sign of truth and right, good.” After all these years and Angel still didn’t get it, he still didn’t.

“When heaven destroys the earth it’ll be just as bad as if hell did it.” He seethed in anger

“Tell me you told him no angel.. tell me you told him no..” He almost pleaded and felt his frustration build up. Suddenly he felt the worst and most heart wrenching feeling of betrayal.

“Well if I’m in charge I could make a difference” he said hoping for some understanding.

Crowley pushed this aside and let out a heavy sigh.

“Okay right I didn’t get a chance to say what I was gonna say so I think I’d better say it now.” He said walking back and forth to calm his nerves and bubbling frustration with this whole situation.

“Right okay yes so.. we’ve known each other a long time. We’ve been on this planet for a long time I mean you and me. I could always rely on you, you could always rely on me. We’re a team, a group of the two of us. And we spent our existence pretending that we aren’t.” He looked directly into Aziraphales eyes as he said this and the others face was confused and Hoping for more clarity.

“I mean the last few years.. not really and I would like to spend…hmm..” his voice faltered as he tried to compose himself. He was never used to being so open and honest, it took everything in him to not leave or just collapse on the ground in defeat. He needed to say this, he needed for Aziraphale to understand.

“I mean if Gabriel and Beelzebub can do it.. go off together than we can.” Angel looked at him with those unreadable eyes, and he just wanted to know what he was thinking. For once Crowley was scared, scared of the outcome of this.

“Just the two of us.. we don’t need heaven we don’t need hell..they’re toxic!” He said loudly hoping this would give angel his clarity, he tried so hard so desperately for 6000 years to show Aziraphale this to explain it to him. He thought that he could understand and he was, until Metatron came along with his bloody proposal, nothing could ever go right for them could it? He just wanted to be with Angel like Gabriel is with Beelzebub is that so hard to ask for?

“We need to get away from them, just be us! You and me what do you say?” He said finally ending his speech. Angel didn’t waste a second before responding.

“Come with me..to heaven I’ll run it you can be my second in command. We can make a difference.” He looked into crowleys eyes longing for him to agree. Of course they could never be on their own side, heaven and hell always had to meddle. Why couldn’t angel just leave them? Why? Why couldn’t they just leave the both of them alone?

Silently almost as if he were commanding it he said “you can’t leave this book shop”

“Oh crowley.. nothing lasts forever.” He tried hard to keep himself upright when he felt like he was falling apart.

“No. No, I suppose it doesn’t” he placed his glasses back on, he couldn’t stand to look directly into Aziraphales eyes and for him to look back at his. It was too much.

“Goodluck.” He rushed to leave, he couldn’t stand to be there any longer without feeling as if he were suffocating.

“Good luck? Crowley!” Aziraphale shouted after him before he could leave.

“Come back to heaven, work with me! We can be together! Angels! Doing good..!” His voice faltered and his eyes filled with emotions as they turned glossy. All the pleading in the world wouldn’t keep Crowley from saying no over and over. He would follow Aziraphale to the ends of the earth to anywhere he went. But to go back to heaven.. the heaven that hurt him that would’ve let aziraphale die without hesitation. He couldn’t do that not even if he were by his side.

“I.. I need you!” His eyes and voice pleaded with him, but Crowley didn’t budge. In fact he couldn’t even look at him.

“I don’t think you understand what I’m offering you.” He countered hoping for Crowley to say that he’s right and he would go off with him. That aziraphale was right.

“I understand. I think I understand it a whole lot better than you do.” He resigned, because aziraphale didn’t get it. How would he understand?

“Well then there’s nothing more to say.” Aziraphale said with full resignation, looking hurt but accepting his decision although it hurt him.

“Listen. You hear that?” Crowley said shortly after, the silence filling the room.

“I don’t hear anything.” Aziraphale frowned, looking for the point of his words.

“That’s the point. No nightingales” Crowley said, as aziraphale looked at him with a hurt expression. Crowley was pleading with Aziraphale deep in his heart, hoping for anything that could change his mind.

“You idiot. We could’ve been.. us.” He finally said feeling his feet build up the courage to rush across the room as he grabbed aziraphale by his coat and clashed his lips against his in desperation, this was his last attempt. He pulled them deeper into the kiss as he felt Aziraphale’s no attempt to pull away as he kissed him back. Crowley felt the others hand placed on his back as he finally embraced him fully and slowly put both his hands on crowleys face as he sweetly caresses his face and Crowley felt as if he could melt right here and right now.

Aziraphale was accepting this kiss, he was leaning into it. This was him saying he wanted Crowley too, this was his answer to all of his pleadings and wishes. He wanted to stay with Crowley too, and he was. Tears were strolling down his own cheeks which was quick to alarm aziraphale as he felt the wet tears on his hands that were cupping Crowley.

Although they didn’t need the air, their lips finally parted.

They look at each other in awe and both in tears, crowleys glasses were tilted from the angle and length of their kiss so he took them off to reveal his watery eyes.

“Oh my dear.. I’m so sorry for everything I said.. I didn’t think anything through I just.. I wanted to fix things I wanted to change it for you. I didn’t want you to change for heaven I wanted heaven to be changed for you. I wanted you to be happy.” His voice broke as Crowley smiled softly.

“Angel.. I am happy. Im happy with you, we don’t need heaven and hell. We have each other, just like Beelzebub and Gabriel said you are my heaven angel. You are my everything, as long as I have you I truly don’t need anything else. To spend all of eternity with you is all I ask for, it’s all I’ve ever wanted.” He smiled with his voice wavering at the overwhelming emotions he felt. Angel smiled at him, and let out a quiet sob as he worked up the words to say and Crowley embraced him tightly hoping to never have to let him go, and angel reciprocated.

“Oh Crowley.. It’s always been you since I first saw you create the stars. I loved you at the garden of Eden, since Rome, since 1941, since Armageddon, and that feeling has only gotten stronger. I love you so much my heart aches at the thought of leaving you, I can’t bear it. I’m sorry I even thought about it.” This time he was the one to kiss Crowley, he wanted to express all his love and longing in one kiss, even if it was impossible he still tried.

“I just.. I always find myself going back to heaven no matter what. Even if they’ve hurt me so many times, I still feel like I have to try up there. I thought making a change might help this time..” Crowley had never truly realized just how horribly heaven had damaged Aziraphale, and it hurt his heart all the more.

“You need a Break from them angel, they have damaged you so many times, treated you horribly. You deserve to be far from them.” He said, anger bubbling in him from just how tired angel sounded.

“it feels like there’s something wrong with me, some reason why they didn’t like me so much, and that it is my fault. Have I done something wrong to have them dislike me so much Crowley?” And his heart broke at how broken and hurt angel was. At how much of this was kept inside of him for so long. They were so similar, but except aziraphale had stayed. He was hurt so much more longer. It made sense on why his attachment and loyalty to heaven was so hard to let go. But the fact that they made aziraphale question himself and to believe there was something wrong with him? Crowley was livid. He wanted to go to heaven and tear down the walls so they could pay for what pain they caused angel.

“There’s nothing wrong with you angel, there could never be. It’s them that’s the problem, you never deserved any of their hate. Fuck them.” He frowned as aziraphale smiled weakly, as if he didn’t buy it.

It would take a long time for him to help aziraphale feel otherwise, but they had a whole lot of time. And Crowley would never leave his side, and it seems for certain that aziraphale wouldn’t dare either.

“Tell me what burdens your heart angel, I want to hear everything.” He said sincerely, it was the only way he’d fully understand aziraphale’s choices as well as to support him. Nina and Maggie were right, what they needed to do was talk.

“well..I.. I’m not sure you’d want to listen.. or anything well uh yes well..” He was starting to become incoherent.

“Angel, listen to me it’s okay. Take your time I’m here and am not going anywhere. Start when you’re ready.” This time he took a few deep breaths and nodded.

[onceuponapuffin]

Fanatic Intervention Part 16!!!

My friends! I have heard your cries! You are worried about Muriel and yearn to know what has become of them! Rest assured, they are in this installment.

Let's do this.

Beginning || Previous || Next

*****************************************

After a moment of commiserative silence, Sardis gets up to go to the bar for another round of drinks. He says sometimes magic just isn’t as good as a properly mixed drink, and leaves. You’ve barely had a sip of your fishbowl.

Jesus is a 13 year-old boy who is white and rich and lives in Los Angeles with his rich parents. The world is doomed.

Your brain is still simmering in the sauce of despair when Anathema suddenly leans in close, pushing glasses to the side as she does. She gets as close to the middle of the table as she can, and you look her up and down because you’re pretty sure the table is sticky (and you’re too scared of the answer to wonder why).

“Okay, listen,” she says urgently, “I need to tell you before Sardis gets back. I got a call from Newt. Muriel’s missing.”

Whatever you were expecting to hear, it wasn’t that. You feel like you’ve suddenly been dropped into ice water. Muriel’s….missing.

“Missing how exactly?” asks Crowley.

“Like missing missing,” Anathema says. How is it that something so vague can clarify her meaning so well? “They went to see a movie, and Muriel just disappeared. He hasn’t been able to find them anywhere.” You don’t have the words to speak yet, but the expression you turn towards Anathema seems to be enough for her. “Listen,” she says to you, “They had every reason to think that it would be okay. The Metatron was after us, remember? He wants us.” You turn your eyes back to the table, wishing that Anathema hadn’t moved your drink away. You could really use something to hold on to right now.

“Right,” Aziraphale begins in a take-charge kind of way, “Tell him that there’s a summoning circle on the floor in my bookshop--”

“-- He tried that already. He says he just got voicemail, and...uh...dial-up.” You’re not looking but you can feel Anathema’s expression without seeing it. Who in the universe still uses dial-up??

“Oh,” Aziraphale sounds deflated.

“Maybe they just popped out to the shop?” Crowley suggests. The question sounds ridiculous and even sarcastic, but what he means is maybe they’re okay and not actually in any trouble at all, and maybe they’ll come back safe and sound and everyone will have a good laugh about it later.

“I mean, it’s possible,” Anathema answers, apparently also understanding what Crowley meant, “But honestly, I don’t think it’s likely.”

“Well regardless,” says Aziraphale, “I highly doubt the Metatron would do anything to harm Muriel. Heaven doesn’t work that way, least of all him.”

“No,” agrees Crowley, “They usually outsource that sort of thing to Hell. Might be able to twist an arm and find out if they...ah...mmm…know anything.” You haven’t looked up yet, but you’re pretty sure Crowley noticed that you haven’t said anything halfway through that suggestion.

Muriel is missing. Your friend. Your wholesome, lovely friend, who came to earth dressed like a lighthouse and who you persuaded to adopt argyle. Your friend who spun around to music with you even though they don’t dance. Your friend who watched the first time you had to calm yourself down from a panic attack and gave you a button to help you with the next one. It’s still in your pocket, you remember. You pull it out and stare at it in your palm. A good large-but-not-too-large plain green button. A good thing to fiddle with whenever you’re anxious. Suddenly you feel tears around your eyes, and maybe it’s the alcohol, but you can’t exactly fight them back. The most you can do is keep yourself from sobbing with worry. Everyone else is still discussing what to do.

“Listen,” Anathema is saying, “I know it’s hard, but we can’t stop saving the world to go back and look for them. The Metatron could be using Muriel as bait for all we know, and we’d be playing right into his hands.”

“Well surely we can’t just leave poor Muriel either,” Aziraphale replies.

“No,” Anathema responds, “I suggested he call Adam. If anyone can help him, Adam can.”

“Do you think” You finally say, “that Muriel knows? That they know we’re coming to find them?”

“I don’t know,” Anathema sighs, “I like to think that they know us well enough to have hope. Wherever they are.”

“Perhaps we could send them a message,” Aziraphale suggests.

“Mmnn,” Crowley seems to agree, “We need to make sure it’s something the Metatron wouldn’t pick up on. Like a secret code or something.”

The three of them start to discuss what kind of message or code you could all send Muriel. Meanwhile, the only thing you find yourself able to do is fidget with the button. The debate has gotten the other three nowhere when a lightbulb goes off. The button.

In dramatic fashion that only Crowley could match, you slam the button on the table. Everyone stops their discussion to watch as you grab the miracle enabler out of your pocket and tear off the number 2 with your teeth. As you spit it to the side, you watch and notice that it stays gone. The miracle went through. Anathema blinks.

“Okay,” she starts, “First of all, I get that you’re upset and that’s perfectly reasonable. But this stuff is important so next time can we please forgo the dramatics and discuss with the group first?”

“Sorry,” You say, even though you’re not.

“What message did you send them?” Crowley asks. In response, you hold up the button.

“You see this? Muriel gave this to me before we left. To help me with my panic attacks. As...as comfort.”

“Okay...” Crowley says. You see Anathema and Aziraphale exchange a look.

“So I sent them an exact copy,” You finish.

“That’s rather clever,” Aziraphale sounds impressed.

“Yeah, not bad.” Anathema agrees. “But next time please tell us first.” You nod in agreement and take a sip of your drink just as Sardis returns with more for everyone else.

Hang tight Muriel, you think to yourself, or Muriel if they can somehow hear you, We’ll find you. We won’t leave you on your own.

********************

Muriel scrivened away at their desk. It was hard to come back to scrivening after having such a lovely time on Earth, but they had been told it was an emergency and that they would be able to come back later once everything had been sorted out. Muriel hadn’t realized that what they’d meant was paperwork. They looked around their office and sighed. Every square foot of it was covered with teetering towers of file folders, leaving no way to see anything else. Not that there was anything else to see ever, it was Heaven after all. They had so much to catch up on.

“How are you doing in here, Muriel?” came a voice from among the towers of folders. Muriel jumped in surprise.

“Oh! Ah, I’m doing alright Metatron,” they answered, “It’s a lot to get through, but I’m starting to make some headway I think!”

“That’s excellent!” The Metatron replied. He wound his way through the stacks until he could see Muriel’s face. He smiled kindly. “I really am so grateful that you were able to return and lend us your help. As you can see, things have gotten a little out of hand in your absence.”

“Yes,” Muriel said, “Of course, Metatron! I didn’t realize that I was leaving everyone with so much. Please pass along my apologies to them.” The Metatron nodded with a thoughtful hum.

“It is the nature of our work, Muriel,” he said, “That we do now know or understand our own importance or place in the workings of things while we are doing them. It is not for us to know, after all! But when someone strays from their role, when they leave for a time and their absence is felt, then we often find out just how vital we are. Not one of us is a ‘nobody,’ we are all incredibly important in the workings of God.”

Muriel nodded. “Yes, Metatron, of course!”

“Ah Muriel,” Metatron said fondly, “You are a most diligent and dedicated soul. Be well assured that the Almighty knows just how grateful we are for you and your continued contributions.”

“Oh! The Almighty?! Really?? Wow! Thank you Metatron!” Muriel sat in awe. They had always thought that they were nobody really. But this whole time they had been so important that even God knew! Muriel looked around at the endless towers of files with new inspiration and purpose. If God knew that they were valuable, then they must do their very best to live up to it! “Don’t worry, Metatron, I’ll get all this sorted out!”

Only…

“I have utmost faith in your abilities, my dear,” Metatron began, “And yet I do sense a small seed of doubt. Is it perhaps something I can help you with?”

Muriel nearly jumped again. Could he read minds? How had he known?

“It’s nothing really,” Muriel said sheepishly, “It’s only...I wish I could have said goodbye. Newt must have been so worried for me to just leave so suddenly. My friends might all be very worried about me.”

“Well why would they be worried?” The Metatron asked jovially, “You’ve come back home! You’re much safer and happier in Heaven than you could be anywhere on Earth.” He looked at Muriel’s unconvinced expression, and relented to a thoughtful smile. “Although I suppose we could send them a message for you. Let them know that you are perfectly alright, and have returned at our request to save us from all of this,” he waved his hands to gesture at the mountains of paperwork. Muriel brightened.

“Oh that would be wonderful! Very kind of you, really Metatron. Thank you ever so much.”

“My pleasure, my dear Muriel,” Metatron cooed, “I shall be back to check on you later, shall I?”

With that, he left and closed the door.

“Ah! Metatron!” Saraquel called to him, speeding over, “Your Grace,” she nodded her head in deference, “Is there anything you would like for the Scriveners to...well...scriven? All of our paperwork has been redirected elsewhere and now I have scores of angels with nothing to do.”

“There is always something to do, Saraquel,” the Metatron smiled kindly, “I have the utmost faith in your abilities to lead. As always.” And he left.

Back inside the office, Muriel was beginning to feel much less...enthused. Now that Metatron was gone, the fatigue of tedious work was returning. There was just so much to do. And to think they had left all the other scriveners with all of this. They felt terrible for that. This was…horrible. This was...just so overwhelming. Muriel took a selfish moment to drop their head into their arms. This felt endless. For a short time, Muriel focused on breathing, before a small clatter made them look up. There was a green button on their desk. Carefully, Muriel poked at it. It was definitely a material object. How strange! They picked it up and examined it for a moment before recognition hit them. Oh! They knew what this was! They had given a button just like this to their new friend! The one that God had sent to help save the world with Aziraphale and Mr. Crowley! A smile of relief spread across Muriel’s face, and despite themselves they hugged the button close like it was the most precious thing in all of Heaven. Thank God. The Metatron had sent them a message, and now they knew everything was alright. For a minute there, Muriel had been worried that he wouldn’t.

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 🖤

Beginning || Previous || Next

[cyraspirit]

Fanfic of our favourite angel and demon who cause us emotional pain! Enjoy!

The lift to heaven was pure white. Its doors mirrored the pristine quality of freshly fallen snow. The ceilings were white, the floor was white and three of the walls were white. ​

Leaning against the back wall was a figure of black and red. Their fringe grown long from lack of caring was a perfect substitute for their glasses, though they still sat on their reddening nose. Beside the demon stood a tiny angel, her hands shaking.​

“You okay,” Crowley said, hoarsely.​

“Yes. Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?” the trembling angel giggled, “More excited than nervous! I’m excitavous!”​

“Good, good,” Crowley grinned.​

The lift continued upwards, carrying an angel who was letting a demon into heaven (again) and a demon who was trying to find their love. ​

Though there was no music to be heard out loud, Crowley’s ears rung with the sounds of a long-ago melody, one which had played thousands of times in their head but only once out loud. Their heart ached for others, one other in particular, to share in the bliss this song brought, the bliss this song preserved.​

Light leered at the pair as the doors opened. Crowley’s fists clenched and they ground their teeth together like the hellhound named “Dog”. Muriel, however, was grasping and ungrasping her hands, making them turn an apple-red. ​

No one was there to meet them, or stop them. Crowley strode out the door, Muriel following closely behind them. They did not change their appearance to suit the setting this time; they were going to flaunt their identity to all those who would cringe at the sight of them and they would enjoy it. ​

“Umm, where are we going Crowley?” Muriel asked.​

Crowley didn’t answer. They merely kept facing forwards. ​

In the distance, Muriel could make out a tiny dot. It radiated control, joy and a zest for helping others. But, underneath the persona of complete fulfilment, a feeling of loneliness was being supressed.​

Aziraphale was grinning at their latest project. Those forget-me-not eyes alight with an overwhelming sense of pride in their achievement: if only they could call someone to tell them of something clever they’d done before they popped. ​

“Who’s that?” came the voice of the aged Metatron.​

Aziraphale looked around from the globe of wonder and their eyes came to rest on a figure sauntering towards them.​

Sunglasses fell to the floor with a clatter. They shattered and shards of glass flew through the air, piercing the tension which was growing between the deity of heaven and the demon of earth. ​

All movement ceased when they came within a few metres of each other. For the first time in months, Crowley’s eyes became a soft yellow-brown, reminding the world of the gentle demon living behind the mask of defeat. Water began welling behind two pairs of eyes; one for the flood of regret, the other for the wave of sadness. ​

“Crowley,” Aziraphale whispered.​

They ran towards their demon, arms outstretched. Crowley stepped back. Muriel backed away into the Metatron. No one said a word. Even the song which had been running rampant in Crowley’s head for months died in the silence pressing in on them.​

“Crowley?” Aziraphale repeated.​

Neither could stop looking at the other but only one truly saw the entity before them. ​

Crowley noted the golden laurel sitting upon Aziraphale’s curly head and the cleanliness of their sharp suit mirrored that of the Metatron’s.​

“So, how’s ‘heaven’?” Crowley air-quoted the last word with disgust in their lemon eyes.​

The Metatron’s eyes narrowed. Muriel looked at the ground, silently agreeing with her friend’s gesture.​

“Oh, Crowley,” Aziraphale sighed, “It’s wonderful! You would love it…” they stopped at the demonic laughing emitting from the demon.​

“Oh, so you do know what the word “love” means. And you can say it,” they emphasised the penultimate word with every fibre of their being, still reeling from the final words of their lover in that bookshop.​

Aziraphale looked confused, their eyes misting to mirror a cloudy day. ​

Crowley shifted their hair from their eyes, better displaying the agony emanating from their soul: it had gone from a stunning yellow to a murky substitute over the last few weeks when they realised they had not dreamt the bookshop episode. ​

“I-,” Aziraphale fumbled.​

Daggers were ripping at their heart strings, letting their heart fall to the pit of their stomach. It crashed there, breaking into a million pieces. The flying ruins stabbed their insides, replacing the elation they had felt mere seconds ago with excruciating agony.​

“I poured my heart into those words; you poured your pride into yours.” ​

As Crowley spoke, Aziraphale caught the scent of alcohol on Crowley’s breathe. Mixed with utter loss and betrayal, the smell was intensified. The realisation made Aziraphale’s eyes water; they truly began seeing the Crowley of the present rather than the Crowley of the past. Their clothes were crumpled and had streaks of brown on them. They were slightly torn in places as though they had been clawed at in fits of fury. ​

“What… happened?” the angel asked.​

“Someone killed my best friend,” the demon replied.​

At these words, Crowley lunged at the Metatron, lifting the tiny man from the floor.​

“Crowley! Crowley, don’t,” reasoned Aziraphale.​

The radioactive yellow of the eyes glaring at the Metatron dug into the sharp-suited man’s eyes. They were full of hate and unforgiving.​

“Whatever you did to my friend, I will do something six thousand times worse to you Mr Floating Head,” Crowley growled.​

“I look forward to the attempt,” he smirked. ​

Crowley was so absorbed in making this man feel as much guilt as godly possible they didn’t see the look of horror on Aziraphale’s face.​

“Crowley!”​

They let go.​

Crowley looked around at the angel who had, once, always taken their side, regardless of how reckless. No understanding could be found in either pair of eyes, only abandonment. Little to no hope remained in the angel’s fragmented heart or in the dying soul of the demon.​

The silence seemed endless.​

Crowley groped for a spare pair of sunglasses, realising showing their true feelings was a mistake; they found none. Instead, they flattened their hair against their reddening forehead and turned away.​

“I…,” Aziraphale stuttered.​

“Don’t. Just, don’t,” Crowley yelled.​

As they sauntered towards the lift door, they took a phone from their pocket. It was playing a stunning melody of blissful joy. ​

Crowley let it slide to the floor, allowing the music to reverberate through the halls of ‘heaven’.​

The lift doors slid closed; Crowley didn’t look back.​

Aziraphale started towards the phone. They stopped mere inches from the screen.​

There, lighting up the cracked glass, was a picture of a Nightingale.