#okay sorry that just turned into a rant abt one person but still

[marsixm]

i bring a sort of jock energy to mtg that other people dont seem to vibe with in that i dont quit, i dont give up, like even when im about to get beaten. i will lose fair & square. but for whatever reason thats not what everyone seems to do and i do not understand. if you have one more move to kill me, then do it. dont give me that “okay so i do this and this and then i win”. prove it. go through the steps. actually win. its like nobody has the warrior spirit anymore….

[roronoa-roro]

okay im the silly anon who asked abt req status 😞 and u shouldntve told me they were open 🙂

i see uve been posting some loverboy atsumu thingies and me personally. im eating that up… no hands, just smashing my mouth against the dish and all. so like my request will be some friends to lovers cheesy fluffy romance between msby tsumu and fem(gn is also okay, up to u) reader B(

i was thinking like maybe the reader could be one of those sports medicine physician whos familiar with the team or something but thats just me being self indulgent cuz im busting my skull open studyin in med school🦧 so like you could leave those things vague if im being too specific but yeah like u said i want an expressive loverboy atsumu CAUSE IVE BEEN SEEING TOO MANY ASSHOLE!CHEATER!HORRIBLE!ATSUMU FICS like DAMN what did that man do to you😭 ok sorry for the rant feel free to ignore this if its not a proper prompt bc im horrible at making requests <3

a/n: what da fack nonnie😱😱😱 pls let me wash ur eyes and brain cuz lover boy atsumu is the only atsumu that should legally exist no offense to toxic atsumu he kinda hot but he illegal so

p.s. it's been very long since this was in my drafts nonnie and I still feel like I rushed this a bit sobs ily<333

"You can stop laughing now." Atsumu huffs, cheeks puffed and tinted red with embarrassment.

You chortle some more at that, stomach already hurting with the way you were cackling moments ago. "You're a himbo, aren't you?" You ask midst snorts.

"A what?" He looks at you, like he's seriously offended.

"A himbo."

"Fuck, no." He scoffs, looking away. "It was just a slip of the tongue!"

You giggle, "Slip of the tongue doesn't explain you ordering chicken at Starbucks." It's true, Miya Atsumu, the blind date Rintaro set you up with is looking to seem a lot lot more interesting than you thought he would.

Atsumu takes a long sip of his drink, dramatically glaring at you. "Ya wanna know my first impression of ya?"

"Mhm," you nod, encouraging him to say it.

"Ya seem like a bully."

That makes you grin.

His glare intensifies at that. "Knew it. Ya like pulling legs, dontcha?"

"Only the legs of beach blond himbos." You send him a wink, truly enjoying teasing him.

"Hmpf. Such a shame yer a bully despite that pretty face." What he says dawns on him one second later. And it's comically obvious with the way he buries his face in his arms.

Oh you wouldn't let this slide in a million lives, "I'm pretty?" You tease.

"Yes." He huffs, "And you know it."

The way he says it so indignantly like a little boy makes you giggle even more. "Well, you're pretty too!" you state, sending him another wink.

Atsumu's ears turn red, "You could have said I'm handsome," he mutters, turning his gaze to the side.

"Mhmm, but I don't want to inflate your ego." you giggle, "You're adorable though, I'll give you that." It's good to give leeway to the poor guy now and then.

"Adorable?" he scoffs, "Don't make me laugh, I'm a beast in bed!" his chest puffs at his claim.

You have to bite your lips to hold back your laughter. How embarrassing is this man. "Bet you will moan if I were to call you a princess."

"What—" he chokes on his drink, face turning bright red as he hits his chest to alleviate the pain of the drink flowing into the wrong pipe. "You— you piece of shit." he screeches. "I'll definitely show you who will moan out loud."

You guffaw. This man tickled all your right spots. And you had a feeling he was a keeper. So why not give this blind date a second chance unlike your other blind dates?

Safe to say you never had another romantic interest for the rest of your life.

[rred-gaze]

Sorry if this is kind of a bother but frankly I'm genuinely quite curious what your thoughts are on Yesod, or like, personal hcs and such! ( Mostly curious since some of your other posts with Verg were very silly! And frankly it's just nice to hear ppl rant abt their fav characters n such )

oh!!! dw i like asks, esp about characters i like :] i made a LONGGG list of hcs for him when he was my #1 blorbo that i added to over the years, i’ll put that and some general thoughts under the cut

headcanons:

-transmasc he/they. super gay also

-can say fuck. chooses not to.

-he’d probably tug at his clothes when he’s nervous (gloves, turtleneck, tie)

-malkuth is his friend! (and taller than him i decide the heights now)

-ROLAND IS HIS FRIEND

-he seems to like moons (moon the the bottom of the department in lob corp, in his ruina symbol, you can see a moon from his platform)

-(based on the moon thing) likes astronomy :)

EDIT: i have learned that in actual kabbalah yesod is known to be the sephirah of lunar consciousness so i think that connection to his character is really cool

-takes good care of his hair it would be silky and sofd <3

-if he ever had long hair he’d put it in a ponytail (turned out to be true: see beta designs in the artbook)

-lob corp yesod would have to wear long gloves if he was ever forced to wear short sleeved shirts

-gets cold easier than others (i know he was a Cube so he wasn’t actually wearing them but a turtleneck under a suit?? if he doesn’t get cold easily he’d be melting :( if it were sleeveless it’d be a bit better but still)

-the sephirot robot forms only have one eye. yesods was on the left. his bangs in ruina are on the right. most of his hair minus the bangs look pretty much the same length so this implies he grew his bangs out on purpose. what if he couldn’t get used to having two again. also he has no depth perception

-got that high intelligence low wisdom. can recite 60 digits of pi but doesn’t know what a handshake is

-what if he has fangs. like a v. like a vip. like a vi

-he likes shiny things...like an crow....give him a coin......

-wakes up at the asscrack of dawn

-you seen his floor? that man likes vaporwave. and also lights in general, i think

-likes tea (also turned out to be true? he’s drinkin some in that one credits cg)

-probably has a small plant in his office, likes gardening a little

-leaves you on read

-clicks his pen when he’s focused, doesn’t notice until someone tells him to stop

-doesn’t really like soda but thinks sprite is okay

-he smells like lavender i think

-doesn’t like when people make a big deal out of his birthday but he appreciates gifts and the like nonetheless

-gets bad caffeine jitters

-he’s a flirty drunk and gets extremely embarrassed about that when he sobers up

-uncomfortable in large groups, he gets overwhelmed if he’s around a lot of people for too long

-hovers around the people he’s closest to if he’s forced to be around a lot of people

-focuses the best if he’s by himself

-malkuth and yesod are siblings because i like them. this also makes elijah and gabriel’s deaths more sad

-yesod can do hair, he learned how to braid because elijah liked having their hair braided when they were younger

-i rotate them being twins and yesod being a natural brunette in my head sometimes

-if he were a snake he’d be a mangrove pit viper or lavender albino king snake i think

-he likes looking out the big tech sciences window to relax

-has a lot of scars across his body from scratching, i personally think he should’ve had his hand scars in ruina

-good with computers but complete shit at video games. he’d know the Lore to games he likes but absolutely cannot play them.

-likes the sound of computer fans and keyboards

-he’s totally autistic

self indulgent

-he seems like he’d get really flustered if you showed him any sort of affection, ESPECIALLY in public. hug him and he short circuits and dies

-if you ever managed to befriend him he seems kinda calming to be around when he’s not pissy. kinda guy you’d sit out in the balcony with in the middle of the night when you can’t sleep in a comfortable silence. might show you constellations if you wanted

-covers his face when he blushes

-would get super red when he’s embarrassed, tries to avoid people and hides away in his office

-touch starved but can’t ask for affection to save his life

-i think he’d show affection with little things yk. puts a blanket on you when you pass out on your desk. he’d probably try to cover it up with professionalism though. like “i noticed you haven’t eaten, think about how that’ll affect your work performance” instead of “eat something i’m worried about you”

-might also just sit near or lean on you

-if he likes you enough he’d be softer and more forgiving

-i personally tend to assign my character fixations flowers for some reason,,,he gets hyssops :) hydrangeas and lavender also make me think about he

jumbled thoughts:

part of the reason i like him so much is because i tend to have a thing for cold/stoic characters who are soft on the inside. yesod is only cold and sharp-tongued because he needs to be in order to succeed in lob corps environment. he doesn’t want to get attached to people. he cares so much that he couldn’t allow himself to feel anything at all, esp in an environment where he’s trying so fucking hard to reduce deaths by setting rules and keeping order but people die every day regardless. not only that, but his job was to destroy information that could potentially save those same people. he gets MAD if you let his employees die because he cares about them.

i also used to try and spread my rolsod agenda all the time, i think their relationship is fun

oh yeah and he’s totally OCD-coded. one thing i’ve always liked about projmoon media is how great their representation of mental illness is. both because it feels very accurate and real and a lot of horror media will just drop in a mentally ill person and go “ooo scary mentally ill person being scary bc they’re mentally ill oooo” but the horror aspect in lob corp is focused more on the horrible things that caused him to act that way. he became obsessed with rules and safety because elijah broke the rules and tested the cogito on herself, leading to her slow and painful death.

just a couple things i find cute about him:

-i know the viper nickname is supposed to be threatening but i think snakes are cute and so is he

-robot form <3

-that hair tuft

-HIS SMILE!!!!!

-his voice is hot okay byey

i don’t talk about yesod as much anymore because i can only have so many men at the forefront of my mind but make no mistake i still adore him

[rin-yellow]

OKAY OKAY OKAY TIME TO DO WHAT THIS ACCOUNT WAS MADE FOR

Welcome to the true Reader In Yellow experience, I am your host, and it's time for us to SUFFER.

Context first.

SO someone on Twitter (or whatever the muskaloid is calling it now, I ain't fucking know) brought back memories of a book I read like WAAAY long ago and so now I have to share my trauma with y'all.

Prefacing this with trigger warnings: A lot of mentions of human excrement, critiques of odd writing choices, twitter mentioned, mentions of SA, mentions of slavery, mentions of possibly misogyny. Also spoilers for the book I'm gonna be talking about

I'm gonna out myself as a twitter user here (if any of y'all know me on twitter, hi! I am so sorry.) but uhh:

Yeah anyways to sum up the situation Fighting Iron flashbacks are not fun and so I have to rant about this fucking book in a place without a goddamned word limit.

Jake Bible, if you somehow have a tumblr account or a twitter account, you're reading this right now, I'm very sorry.

But also what the fuck, man?

Anyways this was actually a double jumpscare coz I was on the kindle Marketplace recently and Mr Bible brought the book back! But under the title "A Fistful of Mechs" and it has a pretty and fancy new cover. I kinda wonder if he kept the pissing and shitting scenes in.

'Coz it's been a minute since I read the book and I'm wondering if maybe the shitting part was something I was misremembering because there's no way an author is THAT crazy.

But then again I THINK Dead Mech (also by Jake Bible, interesting concept but odd read) also had those kinds of scenes so yeah.

Without further ado it's REVIEW TIME

Okay technically one final further ado,,, FISTFUL OF MECHS ACTUALLY HAS REALLY PRETTY COVER ART

Like I really do like the vibes, although

Ngl it was goofy seeing it with memories of getting THIS on Kindle Unlimited all those years ago:

So anyways.

Because all review ppl summarize their books, and if you don't wanna go to the Bezosinator website to read the back blurb or zoom into the photos of it I included, essentially:

Fighting Iron is a book about cowboys and massive fucking robots. It follows this douche named Clay and his big robot Gibbons, who is a robot who can think. Not sure if Fistful changed the terminology, but in Fighting Iron, Gibbons is referred to as a titular "fighting iron", his thinking AI capabilities having been a thing that was outlawed.

Which is funny, because they do lean into a sort of "lawless wastelands" sort of aesthetic but I guess thinking robots are just a step too far.

It's not even like a good argument against thinking robots either, and I think the author knows it. For the dense: AI irl should be regulated due to its use as fucking parasiteware to collect data. AI in fiction is often just person but robot and in this case, person but really big robot.

If I remember the sequence of events correctly, what happens is that Clay needs fuel for his robot and food for himself and he gets essentially kidnapped or captured or something by this one woman who also ends up like turning him into a slave and (tw) raping him, iirc.

OH and a lot of people REALLY wanna steal his robot.

The rape scene is very uncomfortable and I'm not sure if I remember it correctly but it felt oddly sexualized and just no. Obviously a rape scene isn't SUPPOSED to be comfortable to read otherwise there's something VERY wrong, but it's also like really odd.

(random sidenote: I'm gonna go serious mode for a sec and talk abt myself irl, sorry. Around 2 or 3 years before I read that book I had dealt with being sexually harrassed by some mfer who would constantly hold me in a chokehold and say shit that I'd rather not repeat or remember with any vividity. That sort of shit is never okay, however, this experience may have clouded my judgement when reading that book because the wounds were still somewhat fresh at the time so yeah.)

(worst part is that this was BEFORE I realized I was trans but like god I used to present myself pretty femme back then. I think that experience mighta set me back a few years due to the stigma of that combined with y'know. Idk why I'm even talking abt this, it's a horrible memory. This was meant as a joke review god fucking dammit)

(sorry for getting off track but I felt I had to point this out because it directly contributed to my odd puritan phase because I did NOT want that to ever happen to me again so I like did not trust sexual shit for a minute there.)

AAAANYWAYS, it's rare that sexual assault on males gets tackled in fiction though, so points for that. I don't exactly remember if it was handled too well though.

If I remember correctly, after escaping the slavery lady he then gets kidnapped by a "resistance" faction and then after claiming he hates them, he fights on their side in a big robot rodeo duel thing and in a really cool scene where the robot finds a loophole in the rules of "No AI copilots" by saying that HE is the pilot and that Clay is his copilot.

THis is also the scene where Clay pisses down his robots leg.

I think Clay also shits himself at some point but I can't be bothered to check. So yes, unlike other mecha anime, this one is a book about explosive diarrhea indeed.

Not exactly great.

They then proceed to kill the shit out of the rapist woman who I think they kinda sexualized like as a character but I could be wrong because I read it in my puritan phase where I thought even the MENTION of sex in a book was something terrible and a flaw. So I'm not a reliable source here.

OHHH there was also a cool lady with like burn scars all over her body who fights Clay a few times but I think they kill her off before the big rodeo duel thing. It's a cool death but iirc she gets done in by a construction mech I think, not even the thinking robot, which was sad.

Anyways, things I liked:

-the loophole twist was fun

-Mr Bible sure knows how to write robot fights at times

-Gibbons and Clay had a fun dynamic iirc

-Surprisingly, the main male and female lead do not fuck, which was refreshing because I read this in the middle of binge reading a bunch of borderline-misogynistic kindle unlimited mecha novels I found and those weren't great,,, No clue abt whether or not they do it in the sequel tho

-small points for having them say SLAVERY IS BAD. I shouldn't be awarding points for this but like. Some other kindle novels do not do this?? Especially The Isekai Ones. Ew Ew Ew.

-COOL BURN SCAR LADY. Sadly she supports the rapist woman tho which was fucked up but her character description was still cool af. I'm a sucker for grizzled veteran mecha pilots. I may be horribly misremembering it because I'm fucking gay as shit lol.

speaking of

THings I DIDN'T LIKE:

-they have this really weird fucking scene abt gay people like there's a total of one person in the book iirc who is explicitly stated to be gay and it's played as the butt of a joke (I think???)

-Bible tries REALLY hard to be edgy like some fucking RR Martin knockoff. It doesn't always work and sometimes it gets annoying imo

-Not alot of the resistance faction subplot was too memorable I think

-The rape scene in general

-Guy can NOT find creative ways to describe dead mecha pilots, do NOT let his ass cook.

-The odd descriptions of pissing and shitting. I get the guy wanted a grimy lived-in world but this was NOT exactly my cup of tea.

RAW REACTION FOOTAGE OF MY OLD READTHROUGH NOTES, featuring me from like three years ago:

Note that I was a fucking puritan back then so my notes are NOT great. I censored like ALL my cussing and I'm not sure what I meant by the "communists" part but I think there actually WERE communists in the book and that was a plotpoint?

That mighta been the "resistance faction" I was thinking of

OH I was reviewing this back2back with United States of Japan by Peter Tieryas, which I didn't actually enjoy that much, sorry USJ fans in the chat. Maybe I'll reread and review it here at some point tho!

Also yeah

The book was odd to say the least.

Fighting Iron for y'all. Lot of cowboy, lot of mech, lot of pissing and shitting and weird sex shit and "human jelly" which I dislike that descriptor. Parts of it were fun, parts of it uncomfortable, but it is kind of a formative memory for me lol. I don't recommend it too hard, maybe at some point I'll read the remake "Fistful of Mechs" and its sequel, "A Few Mechs More" and write a REAL review of it that isn't a half-remembered mess. Maybe.

Overall, 4.5/10 read for me, still better than some books I've read. And by some I mean Unity by Jeremy Robinson do NOT get me started on that one because I WILL rant for twelve hours about my irrational hatred for that book do NOT tempt me.

Anyways, that was a wild trip down memory lane.

Maybe I'll do this again some time idfk

But without further adieu, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go and collapse on my bed because this rant took a LOT out of me. This has been your monthly Reader In Yellow Experience, and I bid y'all to stay safe, stay sane, and most importantly, stay Funky.

That last bit is an inside joke that only Three (3) people will get.

[imraespace]

warninf this ask is very long…….. i yapped a lil too hard im sorry ☹️🙏

HIHIIH HELP I JUST SAW YOUR POST I ACTUALLY DONT KNOW HOW I HAVE THE PATIENCE FOR IT like for my first bachisagi animation i.. was doing that for a full 15 hours..! not my proudest moment but i was dedicated. i got 35 likes #VIRAL!!! stop im so salty about it 💔

and then i made an itoshi brothers angst animation it got a little more attention in a short amount of time but it still ended with like.. 37 likes HELPME STOP I WAS SO DEDICATED AND IT WAS KINDA FUN ☹️ like as i rewatch it like obviously i can see mistakes that i would probably be able to fix now but it took like 3-4 days to actually finish so thats.. 💔💔

and then we have other animations that i dont even wanna consider thinking about bc forgot but i remember doing a nagireo one and it was 3 imgs BUT I DID IT SO QUICKLY THAY WAS THE PEAK OF MY ERASING CAREER. i got 42 liked hashtag ated hahstag egoist

so now im working on the sae mala thing that like you suggested but the fanart im tweening on is like i dont even know i just dont wanna do it bc i spend more time erasing and getting hair particles and atoms that i somehow only see when im actually finally animating.. 💔

okay wait back to the usual daily rant HIHHIIHIHI HOW ARE YOU POCKY I SCTUALLY CUT CARROTS IN MY COOKING CLASS TOFAY i think i did smth to my thumb bc it hurts so much pelase icanr do thid i cant even type properly im still shaking AND IT WAS LEGIT 30 MINUTES AGO HELP

bluelock friend irl like that person i met theyre a little strange to be fair bc they were like “youre so pookie i wanna just squish you and throw you out the window” and i thought it was funny so i laughed but the more i think about it the more im liek WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN HELPHAHAAHAH like i reallt dont care that they said that but i feel weird around them sometimes bc theyre really unpredictable and i legit only see them at school but we dont actuallt text?? im more of a texter (as you can see..) than an irl convo person like im the type of person who would talk to someone for like 8+ hours online but then once i see them irl i just slowly turn around and walk away when i see them bc IM TOO AWKWARD 💔💔 but i do still wave at them

OH THAT REMINDS ME ABOUT WAVING yk that one scene in episode nagi (?) i think its in episode nagi where kurona is like “lets devour japanese soccer chomp chomp” and he does that w his hand I BASICALLY DO THAT BUT WITH WAVING?? i used to do like a different type of wave like basically i put all fingers except thumb down and would do that repeatedly IDK WHAT THAT WAVE IS CALLED HELP but ive adapted it into the kurona chomp chomp thing somehow. OH AND WHENEVER I DO THAT I ALSO GO UP TO THE PERSON AND LIKE INTERTWINE?? fingers w them and im like HIII and i wave while holding their hand 😈 call it an excuse to hold hands w people but it ends up being torture for them bc i force them to never let go

BUT ANYWys when i did the kurona thing it kinda.. looks like smth else so bluelock irl friend has a weird view to it like bro please let me just devour japanese soccer like kurona 👿‼️‼️

OKAYAYA DAILY QUESTION ISSS UMMM since im in the library rn which bluelock character would be the worst librarian ever and probably end up ripping all the books by accident while putting them all back on the shelves or lose all the books somehow

- 🐙

I love the yapnation asks dw

OH THANK GOODNWAS BC IM ABT TI PELT MY PHONE why the flock I chose to animate 4 pictures bro LIKE I'll probably do the two ans loop it.. BUT THE ACTUAL EDIT I WANT IS WITH 4 PICTURES but I'll do that like when I have patience to redo it yk! ALSO SO LITTLE WHAT THE FLIP that's so frustrating I hate it I'm rn looking at my old edits and i cab relate there's one with 50 likes and one with 40 AND I REMEMBERED STAYING UP SO LATE DOING THAT the only highest edit I made that's tweening is a kaeya edit with like 200 likes 😒

ALSO HELP IKR all the small details that only I gonna see but it's fun to do! after all the hair pulling work seeing it come to life is so hehehehhe🤭🤭🤭 yk!!

HAII IM hot (😉😉😉) but no like it's hot and I'm gonna melt into a blob also I'm hungry! TODAY IN SCHOOL my typing class was nawt it I hatd that teacher sm AND.I HAVE A TRIPLW TOMORROW OHMYG9SHHHH bro as soon as I heard the bell ring my heart dropped to my pinky toe today... THEN SHE STARTED YELLING IN CLASS AND SHE CALLED A STUDENT AN IDIOT ans I was dumbfounded I thought i was next BC YK MY LAPTOP CHARGER BROKE SO I CANT DO MY HW so when I had to tell her I was like "miss" ANS SHE YELLED OUT MY LAST NAME I ALMLSTED TRIPPEd AND WHEN I TOLD HER SHE WAS STARING AT ME LIKE 😐 SO I STARRD AT THE FLOOR then she was like okay. THEN OGGOSH IDK IF SHE DEAF OR HARD IN HEARING BUT EVERYTIME WE RESPOND TO HER SHES LIKE "EH?" LIKE OPEN YOUR EARS then that's when she called the student an idiot and started yelling at her and I almosted cried for her... SHE STARTED CRYING AND I FELT BAD but then bell ran and everyone dipped and I HAD TO BE THE SLOW ASS TO LEAVE THE CLASS BUT EVERYONE RUSHING LIKE CALM DOEN DANG I DONT WAN A BE IN HERE WITH HER AND SHE WAS RANTING TO ME and I was like yah..! then we told our homeroom teacher hehehehhe um I drew a bone in bio today. that's all I have to say abt how I'm feeling!

anyways your strange friend sayings sounds like something I'll tell my friends and theyre always like "oh.." like whag🙄🙄🙄 accept my love! but fr half of the time it doesn't even make sense and I'll ask me self wtf am I talking abt

SAME IM A TEXTER AS WELL bc the things I say online I won't say irl like I don't even swear irl and it's not like I can't say it bc my mommy doesn't mind it BUT IM SCARED TO SAY IT? once I said ass on accident bc I was reading something out loud to my mommy and I was like gasp! and she was like what🤨 AND I TOLD HER I SAID ASS and all she said was ok. my favorite thing to do online is swear at someone in dialect bc I can get more creative since its the locals! my favorite one is "hyc" and I won't share with the class what it means bc.. it's kinda head scratching.

I WOULD SAY SAME BUT I WONT WALK AWAY ILL JJST WAVE AND SMILE IF THEY SMILE AT ME but if they don't then I'm blanking you

OMG I DO THAT AND I ALSO like move my fingers separately in a down movement IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT AND IT STARTED OFF AS A JOKE BUT now it's a habit and half of the time no one knows that I'm actually waving.. BC THEY WILL STARE AND SMILE

HELP INTERTWINE FINGERS? also I agree devour them! chomp chomp

ERM ERM shidou HELP or otoya

[amorchai]

OMG IM IN LOVE WITH UR JESS MARIANO FICCS!! can i request a jess mariano x reader? the reader is a naturally loud and bubbly person. reader is talking to jess abt something they're excited abt, but realize that theyve been talking the entire time and jess hasnt said anything, reader automatically shuts down and stops themselves bc they're always told that theyre too loud and talk to much. i need the comfort fics😢😢 <3

𝐉𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐄𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐄.

pairings: jess mariano x reader

words: 466

warning(s): insecurity ( r thinks they talk too much )

you had been mid-rant, jess fresh on break with a tea towel over his shoulder and hair tousled from the aftermath of mid-afternoon rush in luke’s café. when you had entered, the chaos of people leaving, jess breathed a sigh of relief and his uncle granted him his break.

you were talking about your long day at college – filled with dramatic students and unsympathetic professors, jess was sitting across from you, head perched on his palm staring at you.

“… i didn’t do one of the readings because i used that time to see you instead, god forbid i have a social life because he didn’t care… he just looked right at me and said that i should’ve known the answer.”

jess quirks a smile, a simple ‘how was your day?’ turning into a ramble that he didn’t dare interrupt. he knew you were interested in him, you just needed to offload and then you’d ask how his day was – even though his was significantly more boring than yours.

“anyways, i met paris for a bit during our free periods – she drove down and we grabbed some lunch. so that made me feel better, oh they had the best black coffee! paris loved it! i should take you sometime-”

you take notice into how jess is staring at you, your energy yields as you take it for boredom rather than admiration, the relationship was still fairly new in your defence.

“i would love that, baby,” jess replies.

your eyebrows furrow, your finger that previously runs across jess’ free palm stops. jess matches your expression, hand cupping yours with a small, “what’s just happened?” confused by the sudden silence and change of energy.

“no, sorry, was just rambling. i haven’t even asked you how your day was…” you trail off, looking down to your hands to avoid eye contact in case you might cry. jess tries to meet your gaze, head lobbing down, “it’s okay, i like listening to you talk.”

you look at him, eyes wide and confused, “you do?” jess’ heart throbs in his chest, unsure if you’ve been called out on being talkative or upbeat before, but a topic he’ll bring up another time. “’course, baby.”

your biting your lip anxiously, the need to kiss him very much sitting in your heart, if only you weren’t in the company of small-town eyes – babette sitting across the room. “how was your day?” you ask jess, smiling happily when he takes both your hands in his.

“alright, kirk saying this, dean annoying the living the hell outta me. but tell me more about the café. we could go on friday after your college class, yeah?”

you couldn’t help following your heart in leaning over and kissing jess, even if it was only for a few seconds.

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[unsurebazookacore]

hi im the anon that lost my best friend a little while ago. i mean she didnt die but we grew apart. i was doing okay after my last ask. your words actually helped a lot so thank you for that. i mean it get sad when i see things that remind me of her but its whatever because i havent really seen her or talked to her since the sleepover. i got extra sad today because my sister is hanging out with her today and i didnt know about the plans until my sister told me why she wasnt riding the bus home with me. i really dont want to blame my sister because she didnt actually do anything wrong. to be honest neither did my best friend. she just got sick of me i guess. i would say that i dont blame her but this time i really do. i didnt do anything wrong and i refuse to change myself again for someone who doesnt like me for me. i did that too many times as a child and now that im finally happy with who i am i will never force myself to be someone else ever again. at this point i really shouldnt be upset because she made her choice but i am just so frustrated and sad i can barely take it. ive had issues for as long as i can remember with feeling invisible and that im not good enough and that i could never ever be someones favorite person and i truly believed that for so long. i still kind of do honestly. im really trying to be better about it and my other friends are trying to make me believe that i am loveable and also worthy of it. its working, very slowly, but still. today was a setback. wow that turned into a monster sized rant sorry about that

dude I am so incredibly happy to hear back from you, and literally u have no idea how massively wide im smiling rn reading this. setbacks are rough in any recovery journey, i know ive had my fair share, and it genuinely makes me feel really proud to see people like us not lose hope in situations like these because really at the end of the day there is so, so much more to life than just this one person, even when sometimes it doest feel that way. and you are completely right, if she doesn't like you for being you anymore, you owe her NOTHING in changing who you are for her bc at the end of the day you are more important to you than she is, and thats GOOD. and im rlly proud of you for sticking by that i really really am :)

so i promise okay, if some random teenage girl on the internet cares abt u bc i sure as hell do, u are abso-fucking-lutely worthy of love and care and being seen because you're YOU and that is literally the only thing that you have ever owed this world, ever.

so just promise ur not gonna forget that, no matter how many setbacks come ur way or how many times she wiggles her way back into your life, promise ur not gonna stop being u, okie? cuz ur like, cool af, and i would be rlly sad if someone else was the reason why that ever changed

[cornballes]

big rant abt my smr dr experience??? i think??? tw; sh

tbh tho at the time i was doing that shit i WAS um.. pretty (does that twirly finger thing around my head????) at the time of making those baitposts. I dont mind ppl finding my idenity now because ik thats just another annoying fuck i dont have to talk to.. ever! i just dont send it HERE cause.. well.. thats too easy <3 I thought that ppl were gonna harass me to no end, and tbh i DID get some.. really.. fucked up anons from just being annoying back then and ig i thought itd go to my fr account too. (racism, death threats, ableism, and MORE! this starter pack rocks!) Idk why people were so obsessed with finding my fucking dragon porn game identity though. like okay ???? #69837 aint my address dumbass... I joined this fr drama server because anons kept telling my (paranoid + rude ass) to go and shit it up cause "ppl were talking shit abt me" and i was like oh my god its time to catch HANDS!!!! i still hv an archive of the super duper dm-fight but.. the owner said "whatever goes in server stays there" so well. i calmly deleted the sses </3

idk why they were upset I uh. showed off their tag when they were fucking EXCITED to tell evryone mine, though...like i went "OH OH sorry, ill add it" and this dude was fucking shaking his hands jumping for joy to fucking do it for me. calm down butthead!!!!!!

i think a huge root of my rudeness and.. assholish attitude was my paranoia...and larp-craziness. i was scared for my damn life.. when i typed that shit up i was genuinely shaking n talking to myself for hours afterward Im still upset that people decided to take my thoughts of watning to send ppl my scars etc to face value, but tbh its fr. fr ppl are stupid. I was genuinely in a fucked up place and i was using making myself a "cringe, annoying troll punching bag" as coping mech.. when it was ACTUALLY making things worse.. and well. dr+smr people realllly didnt help. literally egging me on to continue to hurt myself and stuff in my inbox... people calling me a fucking evil person who sends people things ive never sent to anyone ever and never actually would.

people used me venting fucking AGAINST me and painted me as a villain when all i wanted was.. to make people laugh. but it turned into ppl laughing at ME, and not the jokepost.. people took my stop posting abt amongus copypasta so serious, got mad abt me wanting a stinky fujo coomer dragon npc.. list goes on.. i took pleasure in making ppl mad at me, but it also hurt a fuckton

i mean.. now i can laugh abt how much of a dumb bitch i was. nothing i posted since then has ever been that successful. or cringe. or annoying... lol.. some people has asked me to post again but.. idk. i just wanna be normal now. int with the people who havent blocked me yet.. ik thye hate me but i hope that one day they restalk my blog and decide to be neutral towards me again..

until then um..

dear anti anti exalters: YOU PISS ME THE FUCK OFF. oh yeah.. YOU KNOW WHO I AMMM, KAGURAA!

bye :)

[themagical1sa]

mmmm what if.

what it multilingual Filipino!ISWM Captain blurb.

since I started writing the original post in Filipino and ending it in English. with tired paradox of all combinations of words I could write LMAO

the Tagalog bit is "I am very tired but I still don't want to sleep." truly a tired paradox

welp– we're already here! heck it. in fact I'm already typing. ride or die fellas

ℹ️ heads-up: very long actually, practically turned into a fic at some point. very self-indulgent as this is from someone who wants to share her culture through self-insert fic. no likey, no ready

also– when I translate dialog, I write them like Netflix subtitles sometimes becoz I like 'em like that

once you tap/click read more, you agree to spending your time learning my personal experience as a multilingual Filipino! yeehaw space cowboy 🌌🤠🧑‍🚀

so! here's the thing abt being multilingual for me personally: I use all of the languages I can speak when I think

most of the time it's in English, but I also think in my mother tongue (Filipino — Tagalog) often. and yet, I also think in Japanese when I can!

it's crazy how I can go "mm what if I do this" to "eh paano kung ayaw ko (what if I don't want to)" to 「あ、どうしたほうがいい？」 (ah, what should I do?) in a matter of seconds HAHAHAHAHA

sometimes my current mood dictates which language I end up using: English on general neutral moods, Tagalog when I'm Really Feeling Things, and Japanese when I'm in nicer and more mellow moods.

okay, so, you get me now, right?

now we're going into the multilingual Filipino!ISWM Captain blurb–

multilingual Filipino!Captain probably speaks similarly, I think

like I can totally imagine them always speaking English. 100% of the time. complete with a Neutral American Accent that fools everyone into thinking they're from the United States

(and they wouldn't be wrong but if one listened really closely, they'd hear how the Captain's accent has a little nuance to it)

but the Captain also gets tired, you know? they get exhausted in keeping the colony well-led and functioning

so there may be times when — like in this one — in their deep frustration, the Captain just suddenly goes "putangina naman nito!" (Tagalog: this motherfucker!) when something just hasn't been working as intended for 15-30 minutes

this would, of course, shock everyone in the area because hey, that wasn't English, right? did the Captain just speak another language?

nobody has the heart to ask in the moment because you're really mad at the thing and you're ranting to yourself in a language nobody even understands

"くそ！We did everything right already! Bakit hindi pa rin gumagana?!"

- Fuck! [...] Why is it still not working?!

you sigh and turn to your crew to ask for Mark or Burt, but you catch them looking away quickly like they hadn't been staring at you in confusion and/or wonder for speaking three languages at once 😳

you think you just imagined that so you turn to your datapad and say, "Computer, is the Head Engineer free right now?" with your Neutral American accent (albeit a bit more accented to your mother tongue since you just spoke it) and it responds accordingly

a crew mate goes, "Captain, we can call Burt right now. I think he's done with Head Engineer's aasignment and I'm sure he's not too far from here."

"Thank you," you reply with a nod, grateful. "Have him come over and fix this. I did what I could, but I must have been missing something."

your crew just nods, and one of them looks like they want to ask you something, but they decide not to :[

OH this other time when you were actually kind of sleepy and you were with Celci assessing the colonists' health

"Mabuti naman pala ang kalagayan nilang lahat, okay"

- Everyone seems to be in good health, okay

Celci looked at you with an eyebrow raised and asked "What was that, Captain?"

it took that question to realize you didn't have your Mental English Filter™ and you immediately answer, "Oh, sorry! I meant to say it's good to know that everyone is in good condition."

she would nod in understanding, silently noting how that totally was not English she just heard. she ought to look up her Captain's ethnicity and native language

oh-

OH

this one takes the cake

you were alone on a balcony staring out at the sky

「この夜空がとても綺麗な。。。」

- this night sky is really pretty...

"...was that Japanese?"

you whip your head to see your Head Engineer, two mugs in hand as Mark approaches you. "we've been hearing you speak other languages sometimes, but this one's not as frequent as the other."

you widen your eyes in shock. "Wait, really? Oh, man– I must be really tired, huh...?"

Mark only chuckles as he gives you your mug. "you do work hard, Captain — in fact, maybe a little too hard. you deserve a break."

you hold your mug to your lips as you take a sip of the warm beverage inside. you recognize the taste of sweetened cocoa — and then you try to remember the last time you've had hot chocolate like this. it feels like forever ago...

matagal na panahon na... matagal na panahon bago ang mga nangyari sa...

- it's been a long time... a long time before what happened in the...

"hey Cap, can I ask you a question?"

"hm?" you are snapped out of your trance. it takes a second before you remember the question, and then you go, "okay, what is it?"

"oh, um, what was that you said? when I found you? before I asked if you were speaking Japanese, I mean."

Mark's curiosity amuses you and makes you smile. "that was, indeed, Japanese," you confirm, "and I was talking about how the night sky here is really pretty."

"huh." Mark nods as he looks up at the sky in wonder. "you're right about that, heh."

it's silent, for a while. it's comfortable to you, with how it's just you, Mark, and the pretty night sky above you.

isa talagang magandang tanawin ang langit na 'to.

- this sky is truly a beautiful view.

"I'm sure that's not Japanese," Mark comments, catching you off-guard in your admiration of the sky. "I've been asking around the crew if they recognize your other language. They're never sure, because they swear they hear Spanish, but then you say some non-Spanish words after and we all get confused again."

you stare at him blankly, trying to process what he said. you realize that you must have thought that Tagalog bit out loud.

this results in him suddenly becoming bashful as he stutters out: "n-not that we mean to pry! we're just really curious about–"

and then he hears you laugh.

and it's such a sweet sound to him, especially when he sees the way your eyes close with your smile.

"that's– ang cute niyo," (you guys are cute) you reply unashamedly, too tired to keep your formality as a Captain and fully use English in these late hours. "that's really cute of you guys. I appreciate the... enthusiasm? curiosity? whichever applies."

Mark, still abashed and blushing, blinks as he notes how you first commented in what may as well be your mother tongue. "um... thank you...?"

your smile persists as you look at Mark. his shy smile and bashfully red cheeks make you feel more endearment for him — he was so cute like this. he was so cute that, in fact, you could say that nakakagigil si Mark nanaman. bwiset. bakit ang cute niya?

"if you really must know," you finally begin as you lean your side on the railing. "the other language is my mother tongue, Tagalog."

your Head Engineer pauses for a second as he looks away from you and squints into the space, trying to remember which ethnicity is linked to Tagalog. "Tagalog. Tagalog... I know I've heard it before..."

you chuckle in amusement. "kaya mo 'yan, Mark. you can do it."

"aha!" he exclaims as he turns to you practically starry-eyed. "it's Filipino! right? wait, you're Filipino?"

you only nod as you take anotber sip of your hot chocolate. "took you long enough. then again, I didn't train for a neutral American accent for nothing."

the new information baffles Mark. "you trained for a neutral American accent?"

you sigh, turning to face the view once more as you stared up at the sky. "had to. my parents encouraged it, even. then again, back in the Philippines there was this... sort of implication that sounding more American without an accent makes you generally more favorable if you wanted to work outside the country. not that it was required, but... I am here now partly because of it, aren't I?"

it was in this moment when you suddenly feel a particular melancholy. you haven't experienced your own culture for so long, you could say that you'd practically forgotten how to be a Filipino. you've been so absorbed in your duties as a Captain that you sort of... forgot how to be yourself.

"okay, maybe that is what got you here, Captain," Mark begins, "but have you ever thought of... I don't know, teaching someone your mother tongue, maybe...?"

you turn to him in genuine surprise, wide-eyed in disbelief. he seems a little shy, with the way his eyes avert from you for a second in nervousness. "I mean– I guess I just thought that it might be nice for someone else to be hearing and understanding your language, for once."

you blink, processing what he just said. you have thought of it before, really, but who would be willing to be taught your mother tongue?

"sure, I have thought about it, but... I don't think anyone would actually be interested in learning Tagalog."

"I am."

you blink again, and this time you make sure to focus on Mark's face. his nervousness is still there in the form of a light blush on his cheeks, but his expression shows determination. it reminds you of the first time the both of you got into that wormhole mess — fools as you were, the both of you simply thought that perhaps there was a way out of a loop... by engaging into that loop and jumping in again too many times.

with that in mind, seeing the same determination now but directed to learning your mother tongue...

"...wait, you're serious? you really want to learn my language?"

"yes!" Mark answers enthusiastically — perhaps more enthusiastically than he thought, so he backs up as he adds, "I mean– yes, I'm serious. I want to learn your language from you, even just little bits so you know someone else can understand you in your first language too. we can start small, and... I don't know, work up from there?"

you don't really know how to respond. you'd hug him, surely, if your hands weren't already preoccupied with a mug of hot chocolate.

"I- I don't know what to say. I'm speechless." you finally admit. "sure ka- you're sure you want to learn my language?"

Mark smiles endearingly. "just for you, Captain."

silence.

...

"maraming salamat, Mark," you gratefully say. "that's thank you very much. you have no idea how much this means to me."

"no problem, Cap'n," he replies, honored to have been thanked in the Captain's native tongue. "anything for you."

pagod na pagod na ako pero ayoko pang matulog. call that a tired paradox

[kingkatsuki]

okay okay so your expansion on @/prettyboykatsuki's post here got the thoughts rolling

also if you see me popping off abt baku in your inbox no you don't

like just picture it:

You know, it doesn't really matter how many times he says it. How many times he goes on ill-advised Twitter rants remind all those dumbasses in your comment sections that he'd quite literally die before ever treating you the way they say he does. But there's only so much he can take. Only so much anyone can take.

Especially considering how he's been hearing that same shit on repeat his entire life.

That he's too much. That he's cruel and volatile and abrasive to the people around him. That he doesn't love right.

It doesn't really matter how resilient a person is, when you've been told for so long that everyone you love is just tolerating you. That you mistreat them just by virtue of being yourself.

Damn that takes a toll.

So after one particularly rough night on patrol, and one too many fans calling him a horrible partner, saying that you're trapped with him, Bakugou finally rips a bit at the seams.

Can you imagine how he'd come home and find you standing around in the kitchen or reading at the table and just--

Just put his head on your shoulder, still covered in grit and sweat from work and not even looking you in the eyes when he says:

"I'm sorry."

And you know why. You've been watching the way he gets hesitant or flinches at himself. You know he's not as aloof and unfeeling as those assholes online say he is. They don't have a fucking clue. They don't know him like you do.

And clearly they don't love him like you do.

So you wind your arms around his shoulders and turn in his grip, take in how his eyes are red and tired and don't linger on you for very long.

And you take a page out of his book to set the record straight.

With his face in your hands you let him know he's a 'fucking idiot' for ever thinking that if you weren't happy you'd stick around. That they can say he's the biggest piece of shit walking but they get to see him laugh when he makes dinner too spicy and you're running like a chicken with it's head cut off for the milk. They don't know he insists on holding your hand when you cross a busy intersection and that he always makes time to pick up your favorite snack on his way home no matter how late it is and how many convenience stores he has to go to. That he curls around you like he's trying to crawl into your skin when he falls asleep first. That you know he always kisses you before he leaves on early patrols--when he thinks you aren't awake to feel it.

And you'll 'kick his fucking ass' if he ever tries to make himself something he's not. Ever tries to become something more palatable for the masses.

"Apology not accepted, dumbass."

Apology never necessary.

can you tell I rlly relate to bakugou or,,,,,

Bee oh my god I’m sobbing. You’ll never know how much I truly needed this today.

The bit about people saying he doesn’t love right hit so true because it’s like that’s what everyone (even your friends) would probably think. Those headlines that read “how could she be with the Dynamight”, “Does Dynamight pop off like this at home”, “Stuck with Dynamight.” Like he’s constantly under scrutiny from the media, and the sheer indication that he doesn’t treat you right rubs him the wrong way.

He doesn’t have to apologise for being himself because to you he is perfect. And it’s in that moment that he just knows you’re both meant to be.

[fastrainbowdas]

Adding onto your recent meta about the Pregames, one line stuck out to me. Where you said for the pregames that are supposed to be 'real people' they sure feel a lot more like caricatures. I'm really glad you brought up this point, especially considering the Pregames are supposed to represent the Danganronpa fandom, which is us. I feel like the understand the Pregames better, you need to world-build a little bit as to what their 'outside world' is like. It's heavily dubious what Tsumugi said about the outside world being peaceful and non-violet. With how people people were willing to sign away their lives so easily, the pregames feel more like su//c//dal teens that need a fuck ton of therapy. Many people in the 'real' DR fandom (at least from whom I met) have many personal issues that cripple their mental health and make them turn to fiction as a escape from their harsh life. I mean.........who hasn't thought "I wish I could live in that fictional world?" before?

The Pregames are really supposed to represent us, the Danganronpa fandom. So it actually makes me greatly concerned that people would 'self-project' the 'accepted fanon' of Pregame Shuichi being a sadistic yandere, Pregame Kaede being a nihilistic bully, Pregame Kokichi being a uwu femboy cinnamon bun, etc. It really does come to show that people would put shipping characters into a trope rather than using these pregames as their self-projection canvases

And while everyone in the Danganronpa fandom isn't the same, no version of the pregames have to be either. There's many pregame stories on Ao3, which has probably influenced and encouraged the misconceptualizing of the pregames. I understand that none of them have a canon personality, and since Ingame Saimatsu and Saiouma can never happen canonically, people will turn to the pregame AU to make it happen the way they want it. Then again, it is totally okay to write whatever an author wants, but it does take away good character discussion when the Pregames are boiled down to *insert name's* love intersted

Anyways, sorry for rambling. But yeah, here is my two cents about your essay. Great thoughts and I appreciated reading that very much as a pregame V3 enthusiast

I'm so sorry but you sent this to the wrong person SNGJFDNSZFDJVFGNJDNVJS

@hello-kitty-shuichi-saihara This is for you

But ya I do agree that the pregame characters are supposed to represent us. And deciding the characters' personalities based on tropes and shipping only is really funny when you can just Go Replay The Prologue and see the character is Nothing Like That Trope

Like, in the prologue Kokichi asks reasonable questions very clearly which is very different from uwu stuttering "pwease dont huwt me" fanon pregame Kokichi (Who probably would've been silent tbh). Kaede has a bit of a temper (and so does ingame Kaede) but is still nice to people around her (Shuichi is the obvious one) which. Y'know, if she was the popular bully girl like in fanon she probably would've insulted absolutely everyone without hesitation right? But she doesn't. Yandere Shuichi (Like, unironically) straight up squicks me? Because the way I see it, people decided he's like that because of his audition tape. Like, good job guys, you took a guy ranting about his kinda fucked up interest and decided he's a homicidal maniac who obsesses over Danganronpa and his uwu soft boyfwiend who needs pwotection at all costs. I'm flabbergasted that people don't realize what picture they're painting of themselves, since they're also Danganronpa fans, but aside from that... As someone who also rants abt their interests like that it just. I hate it DJKSANKJDSNFANFDJS

These characters are a lot more similar to their ingame selves than people give them credit for haha

[tojikai]

Ok tbh PM got me screaming, crying and punching the air. Ive read some of your works and can I just say; it’s super perfect. You never overdid the angst and certain elements doesn’t overshadow each other. It’s perfectly structured and perfectly thought of. The balance of hurt and comfort is commendable.

So now I have to let my feelings go. Sorry if I have to rant to you but since you’re the author I feel like you know your character and plot the best so I’d like to talk abt it.

So…

I will always hold a grudge against Satoru because no matter what angle you look at he did cheat on Y/N. They dont have to do the deed to consider it as cheating. The fact that they kissed while Satoru fully know that he’s in a relationship is already cheating. He was disrespecting Y/N the moment that he started to want Rie. He takes 75% of the blame.

As for Rie, its not her fault that Satoru kissed her. She’s not the one who’s in a relationship. But she started sharing the fault when she kissed back. She became at fault when she tolerated Satoru. She became at fault when she started wanting a taken man.

Their whole relationship unfolded in sm haste that I feel like even if Y/N was never in an accident it’ll still fall. They will always carry the guilt of consciously stepping on an innocent person’s foot. Added bonus is that I dont think Satoru genuinely loves Rie. I feel like the thrill of finally getting what HighSchool-Satoru wanted caught up to him, but he’ll soon realize that it’s not necessary anymore. Rie will feel insecure because if Satoru managed to cheat on Y/N after years of being loyal to her then there will always be a little chance that he’ll do the same to her. So even if Y/N is healthy and living her best life SatoRie will break.

Im sorry but I really dont want to see Satoru happy with Rie. If Y/N can forgive them then screw it I’m not Y/N (well technically I am but its a different discussion). Even if Y/N is in a relationship and is married w a wonderful man I still dont want to see Satoru happy. I feel like if Satoru is happy and contented w Rie I feel like I’m okay with what they did, which I’m not.

#TEAMBREAKSATORUGOJO

the team break satoru gojo aura is very strong in this one KHDKDLSLSK there's still a little story to that car kiss :> but cheating is still cheating even if turn the world over and over again, it's still cheating. it's just a little backstory to it. and yeah, you're so right at the part where you said that their relationship unfolded in such a haste !! it happened too fast that's why poor yn was too shocked about it :'(( she almost couldn't handle all of it.

anyways THANK YOU SO MUCH, NONNIE !! i really appreciate that~ knowing that y'all read my other works too makes me really happy 🥺♥️ please, take care and i hope you're doing well~!!

[tanzaniiite]

WAIT A MINUTE • KARASUNO THIRD YEARS

requests: OPEN

warnings: nsfw-ish

a/n: this is abt the reader being lowkey scared about their first time and freaking out last minute

listen i relate to this ish heavily cause i’m super paranoid as a raging v!rgin so essentially this me projecting :D

also this is my first time writing anything nsfw-ish so don’t violate🧍🏽‍♀️ (unedited asf btw)

ASAHI AZUMANE

chile he understands

asahi is just as scared as you if not more

sorry, he strikes me as a v!rgin too idk

but yeah, he won’t be upset or anything bc he’s a GENTLEman 😌

he’ll suggest cuddling while watching a movie or something instead

if you’re still not convinced that he’s fine with it…

“but babe, you have a—”

“i-i know, it’ll go away… eventually”

asahi will tell you a thousand times over that he’s not mad and that your first time is a big deal, it’s okay to be scared

as far as his *ahem* problem goes, it’s nothing that a hand can’t fix

You bite your lip as you grind your sex against your boyfriend’s clothed erection. Asahi tilts his head back, a groan bubbling in the back of his throat as his hands grip your waist. You lean forward, burying you head in his neck as you continue to move your hips against his. The brunette can feel everything despite you both having clothes on but he wants to feel more. His fingers dance along the hem of your shorts before tugging them down gently.

You tense slightly, biting his lower neck as a reflex which only caused him to choke out a moan. Too blinded by wanting more of you, Azumane suddenly flips you over on his bed. His arms caging you in on both sides, you look up at him with wide eyes. He just sends you a small smirk before leaving a trail of kisses down your body. Just as he reaches the hem of your underwear, you jolt up suddenly. Asahi looks up at you, confusion written on his face.

“I.. um, I’m sorry Azu. Can we not… do this?”

“S-Sure! Whatever you want! What’s wrong?”

Your boyfriend quickly sits up and scoots next to you. He’s fretting over you and you feel guilty. You thought you were ready, you thought that this time your nervousness would disappear. “Hey, please don’t blame yourself. You’re not ready, that’s okay. To be honest, I’m not either” Asahi admitted rubbing the back of his neck. You gaped at him, “But you were about to–!”. The brunette face erupted in flames, “I know! I just wanted to please you and stop there” He confessed. You couldn’t help but laugh at his confession, Azumane blinked before joining in on your laughter.

“How about this; if either of us feel like we’re not ready.. let’s just say so, deal?”

“Deal”

DAICHI SAWAMURA

ngl you caught him off guard

he genuinely thinks you’re ready and into it but when you’re suddenly telling him to stop, he’s confused

pls don’t misinterpret, he will stop. he’ll just be taken aback

once you calm down and explain yourself, daichi will be like “oh okay”

if you ask him if he’s mad, he’ll reassure that he’s not. daichi will however excuse himself to.. take care of himself

“i’m sorry babe, i-i just panicked. we can try again–”

“y/n. stop.”

he will stop you dead in your tracks if you keep apologizing. he explains to you that if you’re not ready to not push yourself.

daichi wants your first time to be special and full of love, not something you did for the sake of him. he doesn’t want you to feel obligated to him and he doesn’t want you to regret your first time

he loves you and will wait until you’re ready

Kissing Daichi was… amazing. The guy is passionate in everything he does, so of course he’s just as passionate when it comes to make out sessions. That’s what this was supposed to be: a make out session. How did it turn into Daichi hovering over you leaving dozen of hickies on your neck and chest, is beyond you. As he busied himself with prodding at you sweet spots to make you make sweet sounds in his ear, you tightly secured your legs around his waist.

Feeling a bit brave, you arched your back causing you to deeply press your hips into his. Daichi tensed at the sudden friction, a low groan escaping his mouth. He pulled away to look at you, his lustful gaze boring into you. You couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous as he looked at you as if he wanted to devour you on the spot. Your nervousness only intensified as he began to unbutton your pants and pull off your underwear. You grabbed your boyfriend’s wrist tightly while pressing your thighs together.

“W-Wait, I’m not ready”

“…what’d you mean?”

Daichi sat back while you got dressed and calmed your rapid heartbeat. The two of you sat in silence for a couple minutes before he spoke up. “Did I do something wrong?” He asked looking at you nervously. You quickly shook your head, taking his hands into yours. “No no no, you didn’t do anything.. you were amazing! I just… I’m just not ready. I thought I was and I’m sorry for leading you on–” You ranted only to be interrupted with a kiss. Once Daichi pulled away, he cupped your face in his hands,

“You didn’t lead me on Y/n, there’s no need to apologize. You’re not ready, I’m more than happy to wait until you are”

SUGAWARA KOSHI

you say “no 😳”, suga says “yes ma’am☺️”

all my bbys drink their ‘respect women’ juice

nah but fr he’ll most likely stop before you get the chance to express your discomfort

suga is a very observant person and he can tell you’re uncomfortable and want to stop

“why... why’d you stop?”

“you look uncomfortable, are you sure you want to do this? we can stop”

bless this man

if you insist you’re fine and want to keep going (in fear of disappointing/upsetting him) he’ll flip the switch and say he’s not ready

knowing damn well he isn’t a v!grin with his fine aaa 🥵

if you’re not comfortable with expressing your nervousness, suga will take that role for you

like daichi, he doesn’t want you to regret this and he can clearly tell you don’t want to but for whatever reason you’re in denial. so he’ll say he’s not ready and nervous

he’ll then go on to explain why he’s nervous and scared, slowly pulling you out of your shell and getting you to share your nervousness as well

suga’s a good man istg

Soft moans spilled from your lips as Suga’s hand massaged your right breast while he took the left into his mouth. A playfully smirk graced his face as he looked up at you with those gorgeous hazel-brown eyes. “Mm, you like that Sugar?” He asked rhetorically, still massaging your left breast, tweaking your nipple between the pads of his index finger and thumb. You could only stutter out a weak cry of his name in response. This, however, fueled your boyfriend to continue in his endeavors to please you.

Moving up from your chest, he kissed you firmly. As the two of kissed, his hand abandoned your chest, which elicited a small whine from you. Koshi couldn’t help but smile in the kiss, he loved knowing he hand this effect on you. The hand that previously abandoned your chest made its way down your body and rested in between your legs. Suga noticed how you tensed and opened his eyes. He frowned slightly at the slight grimace on your face. Immediately he pulled away and looked at you.

“..Koshi, what’s wro–”

“Are you okay with this? We can stop right now if you’re not”

Your eyes widened and you shook your head vigorously, “No no no, I’m good. I want this” You ‘assured’, grabbing your boyfriend’s hand and pulling him towards you. Suga was lowkey offended that, one; you’d lie to him and two; you think he would believe such a bullshit lie. The silver-head pulled his hand away from your grasp and looked you dead in the eyes. “Well, I’m not ready then” He confessed crossing his arms over his chest. You let out a noise of disbelief before sitting up. “You aren’t? But you’re not a virgin..?” You stated, kind of confused as to why this was happening.

“I know. But I’m not ready for our relationship to go there yet”

“O-Oh, that’s fine”

Your boyfriend went on to explain how nervous he was about screwing up or not being enough for you. And you couldn’t help but agree with him. “Really? Me too! I haven’t done this before and I want to. But I’m scared that I’ll screw it up” You explained, finally opening up. Suga smiled slightly, glad that you were finally being honest with him.

“Sugar, we don’t have to do it right now. We can wait until you’re ready. And when you are, I’ll help you every step of the way”

[leossmoonn]

ahh ok a concept-

stefan confesses to you abt his feelings the night when he has to leave w klaus to save damon and you guys share a kiss but in the end you reject him bc you already have a bf and you don't want to be a cheater (you already are tho 😭😭) and then stefan is heartbroken obv but he respects your choice and leaves with klaus and then when they return in s3 he has his humanity off and you are SO jealous to see rebekah always trying to fuck him and she knows you like him but can't do anything about it bc you still haven't broken up with your boyfriend and you always rant to damon about how much you hate rebekah and how much of an ass stefan is and damon is just like "i don't want to get involved in your teen drama leave me alone" but he's secretly rooting for you and stefan 💀💀

This should’ve been in the show. Such a great idea

You start to cry as you kiss him, knowing this will be the only time you’ll be able to kiss him right now. And maybe the last.

“I’m sorry, Stefan,” you say as you pull away. “I like you too but, I can’t do that to Tyler.”

“He’s a jackass, Y/n. You deserve better. I can give you better.”

“I know he may not seem like it with you, but he’s good to me. And I love him.”

“Yeah, okay,” he nods. He steps away, beginning to cry too.

“I’m sorry, Stef,” you sob. “I understand,” he sighs.

Fastward to when Stefan and klaus come back. You’re not dating Tyler anymore and you’ve been thinking a lot abt Stefan, and although you rejected him, you want to give him a second chance.

But omg Stefan is such a diff person but you still can’t help but like him still. Lol I guess your type is jackasses

One day you’re ranting to Damon like “I want to kill Rebekah. I never thought I could hate someone so much. Ugh, she just infuriates me. Her pretty blonde hair and perfect boobs and great legs. Like UGH. She could have everyone and she wants my Stefan? So fucking rude. And don’t get me started on Stefan. Your brother sucks. I can’t believe he would be so selfish as to turn his humanity off and disregard all his friends and family. Why not just have us help him kill klaus ?”

Damon is like 🙄 “I love you but I can’t take this anymore.” Omg but every night he prays for something to happen for you and Stefan

[enhyupn]

the perfect date! chapter two

masterlist | previous | next

a series in which enhypen’s 02s competitive side shines through when trying to get your attention. the only solution to end this tiring rivalry? three dates with each of them in the course of three weeks.

paring: 02s x gn!reader

word count: 2.8k

genre: fluff, angst, high school!au, someone’s gonna end up heartbroken

warnings: swearing, violence is mentioned, a lot of jealousy

ask to be on taglist, updates are irregular

a/n i can’t tell if i love this or not BUT i say that abt all my works sooooo 🙏 enjoy

taglist: @dchannie17 @simluvbot @jaeyuni @neocrush @penghoons @min-arya @sunooflowerss @badroseee @cha-raena

there you stood. your mouth barely open as you stared blankly at your best friend (there were question marks floating around that word currently), you weren’t able to process anything up until that moment so jake’s few words made your brain explode in utter distress. you put your finger up in the air, trying to figure out this whole situation in under a second so you could catch up with what was going on. no words coming out of your mouth as you tried to communicate with yourself but the outcome of it just left you as confused as you were in the beginning.

“y/n?” jake waved his hands in front of your face to try and get your attention. he sighed before running his hair through his hair, seemingly frustrated by this whole incident. “i swear i was gonna try and tell you this at a later stage in a more romantic way but i couldn’t let him try anything” he paused, licking his lips, “he definitely would of if you told him you liked him in middle school too—”.

“okay can we just let this all sink into my head before we start talking about what the fuck you just told me” you shut him up from carrying on with his little rant. your hands find it’s way to your head, not so lightly hitting it in irritation. your thoughts were already clouded by jay’s return meaning jake’s makeshift confession didn’t help clear up anything at all. especially with all his unneeded rambling; you weren’t be able to understand anything coming out of his mouth.

“what are you—” jake’s eyes widen in concern as he tried to stop you, a glare from you being the thing that stopped him from doing so. you pause what you were doing to blankly stare at jake with furrowed eyebrows, scaring him a little in the process.

“so you’re telling me that” you muttered just clearly and loudly enough that he could understand you. “park sunghoon was staring at me?”.

“yes, but that’s not as much of a big deal compared to what’s happening—”

“we have a new transfer student”

“correct”

“and that transfer student is my first love, jay park?”

“you hit the nail on the head”

“and he told me he liked me? like romantically?”

“i’m sure that’s what he was implying”

“and now you?” you stared at him with narrow eyes. you felt a mix of guilt and confusion due to the fact you should of realised his feelings for you throughout your friendship. the only thing confusing you was why you? what did you bring to the table besides playful bullying and the occasional hyping up for jake sim to have a crush on you? “when did you— why do you— never mind i can’t think right now”.

“you can answer me when you have time to figure this out y/n” he shrugged a little too calmly for you to feel reassured. “i’ve liked you for a while i guess, i even told some people on valentine’s day i couldn’t accept their gift because i had a crush on you”.

“you what?” the memory of the most recent february fourteenth played in your head, the dots connecting when you realised that’s the reason why jake’s number of confession significantly dropped.

“it doesn’t matter okay?” jake didn’t want you to question him about his embarrassing crush on you any further. “i just wanted to make sure you knew so jay park over there can realise you aren’t the same person from middle school”.

“how could he— what does you confessing to me have anything to do with jay?” you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, your voice raising slightly. jake just laughed in response, biting his lip in what it seemed like victory as he turned around in the direction on your classroom. the brown haired boy seemed like he was proud of himself for accomplishing basically nothing, confusing you even more with a random confession seemed to be the only thing he actually did.

“nothing really, just to put him in his place” jake told you as you two made your way through the hallways. you rolled your eyes as you quickened your pace up to walk beside him.

“you’re acting really possessive right now, put him in his place? you’re so weird” you murmured, irritated at how jake was acting. “plus it’s not like jay likes the high school me, you heard the boy. he liked me, even made sure to make the -d sound pop”.

“i don’t think so...” jake replied as his head replayed the memory of jay entering the classroom again. he scoffed at the image of him, not entirely loving the fact he was right in reach of you. “honestly i think he still—”.

“y/n are you okay?” sunghoon interrupted jake, you two were almost one step into the classroom when he had appeared out of nowhere. it seemed like he was waiting for your arrival but you shook it off as some sort of coincidence.

your eyes widen in surprise at his concerned expression, this being the first time you’ve seen the boy look so warm when compared his cold front he normally puts on. “i told everyone to not speak about what happened, i thought that you would feel a little uncomfortable about it” he added.

“oh great” jake said to himself quietly, “another one”. you rolled your eyes at your best friend’s pettiness, elbowing him in hopes he’d finally shut up.

“no sunghoon” you smile widely at him, a warm feeling spreading around his stomach. “i’m fine! thank you though, that was really nice of you”.

“don’t mention it, it must be troubling to be surrounded by all these boys but i can see why” he smiled shyly. everyone but you could see the pink tint taking over his face as he turned around to get back to his desk. it was a blessing you were as oblivious as you were, completely not catching his last few words.

jake raised his eyebrows in suspicion before catching a glimpse of jay who was watching the whole conversation go down with a smirk. rolling his eyes he looks back at you, a small smile spread across your lips from the small interaction with sunghoon.

“sorry about jake too!” you rose your voice a little louder so sunghoon could catch it, he nodded with a small chuckle before sitting in his seat.

jake sent a glare towards sunghoon, visibly annoyed that he was taking your attention off of him. the boy then replied with another glare back, somehow looking more intimidating than jake was.

“some lunch” you whispered to yourself as you looked back on the last thirty minutes. there was only two minutes left of your break and all you had accomplished was three bites from your sandwich and a miniature war between three of your classmates. normal things i suppose.

it wasn’t like jake had anything against the class president, it was just... obvious what sunghoon was trying to do.

what was he trying to do exactly? get closer to you in hopes that you’d fall in love with him.

honestly anyone could put the pieces together, sunghoon passionately telling the class while you were away to not bother you and the pink in his ears when you spoke to him was only the tip of the iceberg. jake was jealous of sunghoon, not that he’d ever admit it, and in the heat of moment he’d let that jealousy take control.

jay was a different story to jake however, he definitely had something against him, he could admit that easily. unlike his jealousy towards sunghoon, this form of jealousy was much more obvious. when your teacher had come in and assigned jay a seat, it was right beside the two of you. jake made it his entire job to make sure jay couldn’t get a word to you, it wasn’t so subtle due to the fact you could see it from the way jake interrupted jay’s questions.

“y/n where is—”

“if you look at page four of your school journal, it tells you where all the factuality rooms are” jake smiled sweetly, sarcasm practically dripping from his lips.

“thanks jake” jay replied, his words not really sounding sincere as he stared blankly at him. jake chuckled to himself before sitting back in his seat smugly, finding some entertainment in this situation.

you couldn’t help but let a sigh out, frustrated at not only jake (who honestly was being a little annoying) but yourself for letting this whole thing happen. i mean it’s not your fault exactly that jake likes you, the fact that jay had a crush on you wasn’t in your control but the fact they had some rivalry going on made you feel guilty since you were the pathway between the two of them.

“can you stop jake, what is with you?” you whisper to the boy. currently sunghoon was giving a speech to the class, something about festivals and booths but you honestly weren’t in the mood to listen to his rambling. “at least play nice, jay’s still new to this whole korean high school thing”. jake rolls his eyes before turning to you, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek in slight irritation due to the fact you were on your first love’s side instead of his.

“y’know, i don’t owe him anything y/n” jake reminds you as you roll your eyes, placing your chin into the palm of your hand not wanting to continue this conversation further.

“the least you can do is be nice” you muttered, jake not hearing due to the fact he was now paying attention to sunghoon. you had never seen jake like this, the usual yellow bubbly aura surrounding him was now replaced by a repulsive green that was unrecognisable.

“and so, that’s why i think we should sell food at our booth” your ears had finally tuned into sunghoon’s speech, who looked like he was currently desperate for some interaction from your classmates. “any ideas?”.

the classroom was completely silent, nobody wanting to speak up in hopes that sunghoon would just figure out the solution himself. you frowned to yourself, feeling pity for him as trying to engage with your class wasn’t the easiest thing to do. you scanned the classroom, making sure your next few words weren’t going to interrupt anyone.

“we could sell candied apples?” sunghoon’s expression turned into a positive one as his eyes sparkled in gratitude. you stand up from your seat so the boy could get a better view of you. “they’re cheap and pretty much in our budget? plus you don’t really need that many people to do anything”.

“that’s a great idea” sunghoon’s praise only caused your smile to grow wider, an action that didn’t sit quite well with the two boys next to you. “and it fits our limited amount of workers too! only... two people signed up to help out this year, which funnily enough is just you and i”. he glanced around the classroom to only find people awkwardly avoiding eye contact.

you had felt a little happy that sunghoon had said that, being one of the two people he had mentioned just added to your already positive mood.

as for jake, who raised his eyebrow in displeasure, you could tell that he was feeling the exact opposite. as if he wasn’t already annoyed with the fact jay was in the room, now he has to deal with the fact you and sunghoon are going to intimately work together on some stupid booth. he took a quick peek at jay, wondering what his expression was at this news.

sure enough the boy was almost as displeased about this whole situation as jake, his cool yet calm composure being the thing that masked his emotions. the only thing that was giving it away was the way he bit his lip in aggravation, making it clear that sunghoon’s words were putting him in a bad mood only an hour in of attending this school.

“y/n meet me after school so we can discuss this” sunghoon grinned, you nod happily as you sat downback into your seat gleefully. you didn’t know why you were so happy, maybe it was the fact this was one of the first times where sunghoon is actually warmly speaking to you? or maybe because he was indirectly praising you? you went with the latter to answer your question.

“sunghoon— it’s sunghoon right?” your eyes widen in surprise when you realise it was jay speaking up. and from the looks of it, sunghoon was not that pleased with the way jay had tried to catch his attention.

“yes jay?” sunghoon tried his best to hide his growing irritation with a smile. jay sat up straight in his seat, clearing his voice before not so subtly sending jake a mischievous smirk. anyone looking at jay could tell that he was about to plan something, a plan that was going to one up jake in terms of getting closer to you.

“maybe i should help out at the booth, since i am new and it’d be good to be involved i guess” bingo. jay gave him his most convincing smile.

“you guess?” jake repeated to himself as he crossed his arms, a scoff escaping his mouth. a smirk found itself on jay’s face when he heard jake’s mumbling, quite proud of himself that he got the boy pissed off from simply nothing.

“that’ll be... good” there was no sincerity in sunghoon’s voice, a slight scowl present across his lips as he wrote down jay’s name on the sign up sheet. “then see us after—”.

“sunghoon” now it was jake’s turn to speak up. you groaned in embarrassment when you realised all eyes were on you, well mainly the two boys beside you but you could also feel the stares too. you glanced over at your best friend, unsure what to feel at his sudden interest in this conversation.

“yes, jake?” at this point it was obvious to your class that there was something going on between the four of you. from the way you had tried to hide from the stares by slouching slightly in your seat in embarrassment to the three boys not to subtly glaring at each other, there was no way you could deny the tension.

it was kind of like you were playing piggy in the middle. you were the pig but every time you tried to interrupt this slightly (hugely) embarrassing quarrel between your classmates, you were ignored. your eyes scanned between the three boys, unsure what was really going on but from the looks of it, they definitely did not like each other. from sunghoon’s passive aggressive tone, jake’s unusual possessiveness to jay’s hostility towards jake, you really didn’t understand where any of this stemmed from.

and yes, it was very cliché of you to be completely and utterly oblivious to their attractions to you but if we think hard, isn’t it justifiable? i mean three heartthrobs (not just one!) suddenly start indirectly arguing with each other over you in under a day and it would be a little unbelievable due to the fact it sounds more like a shoujo manga or k-drama plot than anything.

“i’d like to sign up too”

considering jake was your class’ unofficial yet official golden boy, it was a surprise to know that he didn’t really involve himself in class activities. it was mainly you, who’s aim was to buff up any application you were going to fill out in the future, who was involved in almost everything. well, besides school council, you didn’t think you were ready to have that amount of authority.

“that’s a first” sunghoon joked, one that wasn’t received well by jake.

“ha ha ha” jake laughed dryly but loudly enough that the whole class could hear. you almost elbowed the boy for the second time that day in more embarrassment but you stopped yourself in fear you were going to cause a scene.

“anyone else want to sign up?” sunghoon asked the class, slightly pleading that nobody else would answer him. the class shuffled uncomfortably in silence, a clear sign that nobody else was going to speak up anymore. “i love the enthusiasm” a sarcastic sigh left sunghoon’s mouth, “so i’ll see you y/n after school... and the two of you i suppose”.

“asshole” jay spoke under his breath as he sat back in his seat. the quiet reply was only heard by him and your seat mate since you were in the process of trying to figure out how to make everyone understand you weren’t involved in this silent argument.

while jake, for the first time, finally found something he agreed with that came out of jay’s mouth.

[wizkiddx]

without making this a sap story ive had some not so great news from home and am in one of them moods to not talk abt it. but i need a tom h to hug me , pls could u write something like that?

hey anon - i am sending u all my love, and hope things get a little easier for u as soon as possible. if u ever do wanna chat abt nothing or rant just send me a pm x  I hope this is at least somewhat what u were looking for <33

summary: life is sometimes not good, but your fave boy makes it just a little easier to deal with (with some original help from his brother too)

a bit angsty but i promise mainly fluff (and a popcorn fight?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What drew you out of the sort-of-trance was a two soft but firm knocks at the door - well Tom’s bedroom door. You’d been relaxing with him and Harry, watching the new ‘Line of Duty’ when your mum had called for the daily catch up. Admittedly, she had already tried to call you twice today but somehow you’d managed to miss both of them. On reflection, possible not that shocking because you’d been at a charity golf day with the boys which involved a fair amount of noise, chat and competition. 

Thankfully the boys had both done pretty well, Tom coming slightly ahead but that was the norm between the two. It meant they were both happily basking in their relative victories and not moody and grumpy like they are oh so often when things go wrong. Because to them, against your pleading, begging and sometimes lecturing…. golf was not just a game.  

You and your mum had always been very close, so usually speaking to her was uplifting and made you feel a little bit more complete - what with travelling with Tom for work, her voice was a slice of home. This time though, it was not so much the case. It was just sad news about your home town. Nothing directly to your family or close friends but still, it makes you feel generally down. 

Who knows how long it’d been since you’d hung up on the phone, just staring at the wall opposite. Everything felt just hollow and empty, lacking in meaning somewhat. You weren’t necessarily thinking, more like devoid of emotion, of thoughts, of anything. Just a bit cold. 

“Y/n…Y/n?” His voice sounded hesitant, as though scared he was interrupting your call. When you didn’t respond, the door cracked open and his fluffy head poked in, not that you noticed - your brain was still half absent. Tom on the other hand, was instantly looking you up and down, very much confused as the why you looked so rigid and not present. Noticing the phone was lying quiet on the bed in front of you, he felt safe to enter. He made a beeline for the bed, perching himself down on the edge, in-front of you - so he was blocking your fascinating view of the grey wall opposite. 

“What’s going on in that little head of yours?” His voice was soft and gravely, choosing not to put much energy into his vocal box as he rubbed up and down one of your arms. 

“Hmmm? Sorry, was miles away.”

“Could tell darl.” As he chuckled his eyes crinkled round the outside. “How was your mum?”

“Yeh…um okay, I-I guess.” As much as you wanted to shake yourself out of it, it just wasn’t that easy. Everything was laced with this underlying chilliness. 

“You sure? You dont really sound it?” 

“No, I um…well I’m not sure. I think I’m okay?”

“What happened?” You shook your head in response, making Tom press his lips together with a small nod. “ Don’t wanna talk about it huh?” 

“Not… not right now. Please?” 

With a permitting nod, Tom stood up and squeezed your hand, urging you to follow. Trailing behind him into the living room, he then instructed you to take a seat on the sofa adjacent to Harry, Tom himself disappearing back into the house. It made you pout a little, you wanted him to just look after you a little this evening but that self pity wasn’t allowed to last long - because a piece of popcorn flew into your cheek. You whipped your head around, with mouth open feigning shock, to see Harry smirking at you cradling a bowl full of other possible missiles in hand. 

“And what was that for?” He shrugged his shoulders, turning his head back to the TV.

“You looked sad.”

“…” Your mouth was open, no words coming out though, as you looked at the frizzy haired boy in bemusement. Sometimes you thought you understood how his head worked but at other points, the boy was a bloody mystery. Instead of explaining his thought process (because there almost certainly wasn’t one), he just smiled evily at you - wiggling his brows. And I know you know what that meant.

Sure enough by the time Tom reentered the room, arms full with different objects he’d collected round the house, the floor had been littered with popcorn kernels. You and Harry were squealing at each other as handfuls of the snack were catapulted vaguely at each other as you chased him round the room. It took Tom shouting at the both of you for you to freeze, slowly lowering your hands in ceasefire with a giggle. 

“I leave you alone for two minutes.”

“ It was his fault!” You protested, causing a 5 minute of ‘ he said-she said’ between the two of you, even if Tom wasn’t listening to the bickering. Instead, he quickly whizzed round the room picking up all the obvious popcorn bits and then spread out all the blankets he’d got from round the rented house on the sofa.

 You knew Harry, in his very own and special way, was only doing all this to cheer you up and you couldn’t appreciate it more. Your relationship with him had recently got so much closer, thanks to Tom being busy on set actually filming - while you and Harry just had some quality ‘almost sibling’ times. And now living with him too - naturally he had grown to know your tells almost as well as Tom. 

“Alright children calm down… thought we could watch movie?” Plopping himself down on the cream seat, Tom made grabby hands to you which of course you had to comply with. 

“I’ll um… I’m gonna leave you to- well to the being in love shit. It’ll make me chunder”

“We love you too bro” Tom called to Harry, who was already on his way out - but the tone of gratefulness in his voice was evident, he appreciated Harry noticing that the two of you could do with time together. 

“Don’t make it weird!” Harry’s response had you sniggering, as you pulled the fluffiest blanket over both you and Tom and nestling into his side. 

After a few minutes of Tom pretending to argue with you about film choice, before ultimately agreeing with your choice of ‘La la land’ as he always planned on letting you. The Holland boys were both very talented at subtly being a shoulder if needed, and yes you knew it was all an act - but you weren’t about to call him out. About halfway through he kissed the crown of your head and murmured. “Can tell you’re not watching darling.” He wasn’t wrong to be fair. Yes, you were looking at the screen - but your mind was far away from the plot line. 

“Sorry I um… minds like a runaway train sometimes.” Tom released a breathy chuckle at that before murmuring a ‘come ‘ere’ to you as he all but lifted you up from sitting by his side. You ended up lying almost onto of him, with both of Tom’s strong arms holding you tightly to him. Smiling into his chest, you nestled closer so the soundtrack to the movie played over the top of his constant thudding heartbeat. It took a few moments of you both just staring into the screen, completely contented for Tom to speak, squeezing you slightly tighter whilst the two of you watched Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone twirling on the road.

“I gotchu now lovie” 

And you swore then that all the thoughts racing in your mind were outpaced by those of a different kind. Still intense ideas, ones that buzzed round your brain, but these were happy. Thoughts of ‘how could I be so lucky’ and ‘I love this man with my whole heart’. 

Apparently these thoughts were also a comfort because when Tom looked down at you after what must’ve been at least half an hour, you were spark out. Breathing deep and unchanging, eye locked shut and mouth slightly squashed against his chest so your lips were pressed together. But what made the boy physical pout was the way you relaxed hand was loosely balled round a fistful of his purple hoodie. As if you were clutching at him to keep him as close to you as possible. 

He felt so grateful - not only for you, but also for the fact that he had the ability to make it a little better. You didn’t need him - Tom swore you were one of the most fiercely independent people he’d ever met - yet it was clear you wanted him. You wanted him when you felt down, the same way you wanted to be around him when you were overly hyper and chatting pure rubbish. You didn’t want him because he was the ‘Tom Holland’ you wanted him because he was Tom. 

He couldn’t fix what was going on back at your home (I mean right now, he still didnt even know what was going on). But he did know how to make everything just a little less shit. He knew how to be your person. 

And that would forever be job Tom was most proud of.

once again sending u all lots of love (esp u anon 💕)

would love to know what u guys think if ya made it this far ;)

tagging (link to join) : @hallecarey1 @hollandfanficlove