#Jake Bible

[rin-yellow]

OKAY OKAY OKAY TIME TO DO WHAT THIS ACCOUNT WAS MADE FOR

Welcome to the true Reader In Yellow experience, I am your host, and it's time for us to SUFFER.

Context first.

SO someone on Twitter (or whatever the muskaloid is calling it now, I ain't fucking know) brought back memories of a book I read like WAAAY long ago and so now I have to share my trauma with y'all.

Prefacing this with trigger warnings: A lot of mentions of human excrement, critiques of odd writing choices, twitter mentioned, mentions of SA, mentions of slavery, mentions of possibly misogyny. Also spoilers for the book I'm gonna be talking about

I'm gonna out myself as a twitter user here (if any of y'all know me on twitter, hi! I am so sorry.) but uhh:

Yeah anyways to sum up the situation Fighting Iron flashbacks are not fun and so I have to rant about this fucking book in a place without a goddamned word limit.

Jake Bible, if you somehow have a tumblr account or a twitter account, you're reading this right now, I'm very sorry.

But also what the fuck, man?

Anyways this was actually a double jumpscare coz I was on the kindle Marketplace recently and Mr Bible brought the book back! But under the title "A Fistful of Mechs" and it has a pretty and fancy new cover. I kinda wonder if he kept the pissing and shitting scenes in.

'Coz it's been a minute since I read the book and I'm wondering if maybe the shitting part was something I was misremembering because there's no way an author is THAT crazy.

But then again I THINK Dead Mech (also by Jake Bible, interesting concept but odd read) also had those kinds of scenes so yeah.

Without further ado it's REVIEW TIME

Okay technically one final further ado,,, FISTFUL OF MECHS ACTUALLY HAS REALLY PRETTY COVER ART

Like I really do like the vibes, although

Ngl it was goofy seeing it with memories of getting THIS on Kindle Unlimited all those years ago:

So anyways.

Because all review ppl summarize their books, and if you don't wanna go to the Bezosinator website to read the back blurb or zoom into the photos of it I included, essentially:

Fighting Iron is a book about cowboys and massive fucking robots. It follows this douche named Clay and his big robot Gibbons, who is a robot who can think. Not sure if Fistful changed the terminology, but in Fighting Iron, Gibbons is referred to as a titular "fighting iron", his thinking AI capabilities having been a thing that was outlawed.

Which is funny, because they do lean into a sort of "lawless wastelands" sort of aesthetic but I guess thinking robots are just a step too far.

It's not even like a good argument against thinking robots either, and I think the author knows it. For the dense: AI irl should be regulated due to its use as fucking parasiteware to collect data. AI in fiction is often just person but robot and in this case, person but really big robot.

If I remember the sequence of events correctly, what happens is that Clay needs fuel for his robot and food for himself and he gets essentially kidnapped or captured or something by this one woman who also ends up like turning him into a slave and (tw) raping him, iirc.

OH and a lot of people REALLY wanna steal his robot.

The rape scene is very uncomfortable and I'm not sure if I remember it correctly but it felt oddly sexualized and just no. Obviously a rape scene isn't SUPPOSED to be comfortable to read otherwise there's something VERY wrong, but it's also like really odd.

(random sidenote: I'm gonna go serious mode for a sec and talk abt myself irl, sorry. Around 2 or 3 years before I read that book I had dealt with being sexually harrassed by some mfer who would constantly hold me in a chokehold and say shit that I'd rather not repeat or remember with any vividity. That sort of shit is never okay, however, this experience may have clouded my judgement when reading that book because the wounds were still somewhat fresh at the time so yeah.)

(worst part is that this was BEFORE I realized I was trans but like god I used to present myself pretty femme back then. I think that experience mighta set me back a few years due to the stigma of that combined with y'know. Idk why I'm even talking abt this, it's a horrible memory. This was meant as a joke review god fucking dammit)

(sorry for getting off track but I felt I had to point this out because it directly contributed to my odd puritan phase because I did NOT want that to ever happen to me again so I like did not trust sexual shit for a minute there.)

AAAANYWAYS, it's rare that sexual assault on males gets tackled in fiction though, so points for that. I don't exactly remember if it was handled too well though.

If I remember correctly, after escaping the slavery lady he then gets kidnapped by a "resistance" faction and then after claiming he hates them, he fights on their side in a big robot rodeo duel thing and in a really cool scene where the robot finds a loophole in the rules of "No AI copilots" by saying that HE is the pilot and that Clay is his copilot.

THis is also the scene where Clay pisses down his robots leg.

I think Clay also shits himself at some point but I can't be bothered to check. So yes, unlike other mecha anime, this one is a book about explosive diarrhea indeed.

Not exactly great.

They then proceed to kill the shit out of the rapist woman who I think they kinda sexualized like as a character but I could be wrong because I read it in my puritan phase where I thought even the MENTION of sex in a book was something terrible and a flaw. So I'm not a reliable source here.

OHHH there was also a cool lady with like burn scars all over her body who fights Clay a few times but I think they kill her off before the big rodeo duel thing. It's a cool death but iirc she gets done in by a construction mech I think, not even the thinking robot, which was sad.

Anyways, things I liked:

-the loophole twist was fun

-Mr Bible sure knows how to write robot fights at times

-Gibbons and Clay had a fun dynamic iirc

-Surprisingly, the main male and female lead do not fuck, which was refreshing because I read this in the middle of binge reading a bunch of borderline-misogynistic kindle unlimited mecha novels I found and those weren't great,,, No clue abt whether or not they do it in the sequel tho

-small points for having them say SLAVERY IS BAD. I shouldn't be awarding points for this but like. Some other kindle novels do not do this?? Especially The Isekai Ones. Ew Ew Ew.

-COOL BURN SCAR LADY. Sadly she supports the rapist woman tho which was fucked up but her character description was still cool af. I'm a sucker for grizzled veteran mecha pilots. I may be horribly misremembering it because I'm fucking gay as shit lol.

speaking of

THings I DIDN'T LIKE:

-they have this really weird fucking scene abt gay people like there's a total of one person in the book iirc who is explicitly stated to be gay and it's played as the butt of a joke (I think???)

-Bible tries REALLY hard to be edgy like some fucking RR Martin knockoff. It doesn't always work and sometimes it gets annoying imo

-Not alot of the resistance faction subplot was too memorable I think

-The rape scene in general

-Guy can NOT find creative ways to describe dead mecha pilots, do NOT let his ass cook.

-The odd descriptions of pissing and shitting. I get the guy wanted a grimy lived-in world but this was NOT exactly my cup of tea.

RAW REACTION FOOTAGE OF MY OLD READTHROUGH NOTES, featuring me from like three years ago:

Note that I was a fucking puritan back then so my notes are NOT great. I censored like ALL my cussing and I'm not sure what I meant by the "communists" part but I think there actually WERE communists in the book and that was a plotpoint?

That mighta been the "resistance faction" I was thinking of

OH I was reviewing this back2back with United States of Japan by Peter Tieryas, which I didn't actually enjoy that much, sorry USJ fans in the chat. Maybe I'll reread and review it here at some point tho!

Also yeah

The book was odd to say the least.

Fighting Iron for y'all. Lot of cowboy, lot of mech, lot of pissing and shitting and weird sex shit and "human jelly" which I dislike that descriptor. Parts of it were fun, parts of it uncomfortable, but it is kind of a formative memory for me lol. I don't recommend it too hard, maybe at some point I'll read the remake "Fistful of Mechs" and its sequel, "A Few Mechs More" and write a REAL review of it that isn't a half-remembered mess. Maybe.

Overall, 4.5/10 read for me, still better than some books I've read. And by some I mean Unity by Jeremy Robinson do NOT get me started on that one because I WILL rant for twelve hours about my irrational hatred for that book do NOT tempt me.

Anyways, that was a wild trip down memory lane.

Maybe I'll do this again some time idfk

But without further adieu, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go and collapse on my bed because this rant took a LOT out of me. This has been your monthly Reader In Yellow Experience, and I bid y'all to stay safe, stay sane, and most importantly, stay Funky.

That last bit is an inside joke that only Three (3) people will get.

[raphlsnts]

Hearts of Darkness: Moon Knight, The Punisher, Blade and Ghost Rider

[cephalosaur]

[kaythefloppa]

Team Pirate Bible

So I mentioned that the bible/art book for Jake and the Never Land Pirates (back when it was called Team Pirate) was very hard to download. I waited a few hours for Mega to get its shit together and it paid off. Here's the art book for the series that would eventually be known as Jake and the Never Land Pirates: This book pre-dates the pilot episode I linked earlier this morning and it shows.

Characters:

Yeah, right off the bat it's clear that our group of Neverland Pirates was much different.

For one, the leader wasn't Jake, it was Slighty. Whether it's Slighty from the movies, or, much like Cubby and Nibs, a different character with the same name. I'm leaning towards that. Disney Jr's version of Slighty had Jake's role as the leader, who helps and guides his team. Something to notice is that the Sword of Forever isn't really a concept. It wasn't in the pilot that included Jake either. Jake/Slighty's object was a Spyglass rather than a sword given to him by Peter Pan.

There's also some insight on the development of Bucky. According to the series bible, he is enchanted by Pixie Dust, but not in what you'd expect. Instead of flying, he is alive! A sentient pirate ship who is part of Team Pirate, and communicates through ringing.

This totally shoots down my "Tinker Bell invented Bucky" theory but this is just as cool. Though considering Tink sprays Pixie Dust on Bucky in one episode, I'm now wondering the logistics of Pixie Dust in this world, but that's another lore post for another day.

Also, I adore how Hook has his movie design here.

Locations, Curriculum, and Stories:

What-the, DINOSAURS??????????????? IN NEVERLAND???

The first episode, The Mystery of Turtle Rock, seems to be what would soon become the Season 2 episode "Mystery of Mysterious Island!" The second one, I think is Pirate Ghost Story's beta version. But you can see how different things were in production between the final version, especially the dynamic between the characters/

[adjl-unofficial]

I sent the previous ask about the 2004 ADJL books and I NEED to find them so bad, they make me feral 😭😭😭 aside from that, what are ur opinions on brook and Jamal, Jake’s original friends that became Tricia and spud?

I find both the concepts to be super interesting! Jamal translates pretty clearly into aspects of both Trixie and Spud as Jake's more 'normal' human friends, so there's not much to dig into there besides seeing the beta version of them.

Brook meanwhile was going to serve as Jake's love interest, and I'm personally glad they didn't go with the 'nerdy weird girl who's /actually/ super pretty once she isn't sick'. Though I can't judge if the concept once realized would have actually been as shallow as that little blurb! Of course we ended up with Rose, who I love more than anything in the world, but Brook was otherwise a cool concept! It'd be cool to have one of Jake's longtime friends who's into his superhero/magical persona and has their own connections to the magical world.

I'm using my own take on Brook the water nymph in a fanfiction that may or may not ever be finished, in fact.

[gabebrodudeman]

[pixiedust-poppers]

Hi, I'm knew in the fandom but I think someone released the JATNP bible, do you have it? Sorry for bothering but I've been searching like crazy

Hi!! There was a pitch bible and I did have a link for it on my blog but it seeeeeems the folder containing everything got deleted :(

I had a sneaking suspicion it would be so luckily I saved it to my files! Here ya go <3 and welcome!

[yeagrave]

headcanon thoughts in the tags :’)

[unfortunatetheorist]

Hidden Biblical Allusion in ASOUE

The subject of Biblical Allusions in ASOUE has been a very controversial one. It is the reason the series has been banned in some places, and it's the main reason for the series' criticism.

There are some very clear Biblical parallels in ASOUE, e.g. The Baudelaires receiving an apple from Ink in The End (alluding to Adam & Eve in the Garden of Eden).

However, there is something that has caught my attention - 3 characters in particular - Ike Anwhistle, Ishamel and Jacob Snicket.

Ike's full name is Isaac, giving:

Ishmael, Isaac and Jacob

Which are the names of 3 Biblical characters.

Ishmael and Isaac were half-brothers and Jacob was Isaac's younger son - but they all stem from Abraham.

But how does this fit into ASOUE?

Well, in the Bible, the age order is:

Ish > Ike > Jake

But in ASOUE, it's:

Jake >= Ish > Ike

However, if we consider the numerous clear allusions to the Bible throughout the series, we could also interpret this as saying:

The Anwhistles, Snickets and Ishmael are RELATED to each other.

Of course, given the family tree in LSTUA, we see that most members of V.F.D. have some ludicrous connection to each other, but my theory is their genealogy is CLOSER to each other's than everyone else in the organisation.

This is why, in book canon, there is a CHANCE (albeit very slim) that Josephine MAYBE survives.

Also, thinking about this has led me to think of other things:

If Ishmael doesn't have a last name, and readers don't know what Bertrand's surname was (before he married Beatrice)...

Is Ishmael Bertrand's grandfather?

This would explain his overtaking of The Island - he may THINK Bertrand is far too child-like and irresponsible, and is unaware of the dangers of the world, allowing him to act 'in loco parentis' to Bertrand.

It's possible, but it's also just an idea.

Maybe I've gone to Very Far Distances with this one...

¬ Th3r3534rch1ngr4ph, Unfortunate Theorist/Snicketologist

[graf-de-murr]

Chosen one, "The Infant Fire"

[mountain-in-springtime]

love that i come onto this site every day to make my sweet little good morning and i love you posts just for @stardustvanfleet to have me acting like a fucking harlot in my dms

[minhosimthings]

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

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I'M FUCKING LOSING IT MONA I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE I FR THINK MY HEART STOPPED 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

This fucking asshole has the mf audacity TO DO THIS WHEN THE FUCK IS HE COMING HOME TO HIS WIVES

whoever styled him deserves all the riches in the world I HOPE BOTH SIDES OF THEIR PILLOW ARE ALWAYS COLD

WHY CANT THE SHIRT LIFT UP A BIT MORE I WANNA SEE THE ABS-

[kaythefloppa]

If a series bible for The Lion Guard, if one that even exists, is ever leaked onto the Internet, expect me to be there or expect me to be dead /hj

[thecurefordepression]

[amakumos]

roses are red

violets are blue

idk about you

but id ride noahs ark w u

the bible girl,

jakes ex

HE;LP M,E IM CRYIGJIKN%&^*()??? THIS ONES TOO GOOD I CANT

[likehephaestionwhodied]

Okay but AU where after Jesus comes back, and Judas isn't there and and Simon Zealots get together in a "I'm almost me again, she's almost you" (hozier, Almost) way