#okay so 1 i really like 'like a bear dean'

[chlochette-sunde]

Know your Destiel/Cockles history: a calendar 

As a newcomer on Tumblr and on the Supernatural fandom, I first had trouble following all the past events that were regularly reminded and celebrated.

On this very special day (December 14th, European time), the following post is an attempt at listing those events, focusing on Destiel and Cockles (with a hint of Jenmisheel). Feel free to advise me for more (or less) dates!

Acknowledgement: The idea came from @youchangedmedestiel who also contributed to the content. The present post would never have been possible without @livebloggingmydescentintomadness 's Cockles masterlist. Color code: Destiel / Cockles

Honorary periodic event: FIMMF (Finger In My Mouth Friday)

January

12th: "Mish. Dee." (2021) - 1

16th: Broadcast of 15x09 “The Trap” (2020) - /

17th: ‘Isn't the season you met Misha?’ ‘Taste the rainbow’ JaxCon (2016) - 1

18th: The abandoned Jenmisheel podcast (2022) - 1

24th: Dean's birthday + ‘Jensen's the horse’ HousCon (2015) - / + 1

February

2nd: Broadcast of 12x10 “Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets” (2017) - /

14th: Destiel wedding anniversary (2021)

16th: Broadcast of 12x12 “Stuck in the Middle (With You)” (2017) - /

26th: ‘Which is funny, because so do I’ JIB11 (2023) - 1

28th: ‘Misha's been working out’ ‘He has though, hasn't he?’ NashCon (2016) - 1

March

1st: Jensen Ackles' birthday (1978) - 1 2 3 4

18th: Danneel Ackles' birthday (1979)

20th: Broadcast of 8x17 “Goodbye Stranger” + Gag reel (2013) - / + 1

23rd: Broadcast of 7x17 “The Born-Again Identity” (2012) + Broadcast of 15x13 “Destiny’s Child” + Gag reel (Jensen's infamous fart joke) (2020) - / + 1

April

1st: Mishapocalypse (2013) + Mishapocalypse 2.0 (2023) - 1 2 + 3

10th: “When Harry Met Sally” JIB2 (2011) - 1

13th: Season 15 EW Photoshoot (2020) - 1 2

15th: Broadcast of 5x18 “Point of No Return” + Gag reel (blowjob+‘we’re missing the gay angel’+‘confetti it’s a parade’) (2010) - 1 + 2 3 4 

15th: Bishagate 2.0 NJCon (2023) + Misha’s Cas essay (2022) - 1 2 + 3

23th: Bishagate ‘I’m all three’ NJCon (2022) - 1

25th: ‘I happen to be straight’ (2022) - 1 2

27th: Broadcast of 12x19 “The Future” (2017) - 1 2 3 4

28th: ‘Balls deep’ CR8 (2024) - 1

29th: Broadcast of 6x19 “Mommy Dearest” + Gag reel (2011) - 1

May

6th: Broadcast of 6x20 “The Man Who Would Be King” (2011) - /

7th: First release of 'Watching Over Me' (2021) - 1

19th: Straddlegate JIB10 (2019) - 1 2 3 4

21st: Jensen's bear underwear reveal JIB8 (2017) - 1

23rd: ‘Okay babe’ (2021) - 1

24th: Misha tenderly rescuing Jensen+’We like you the best’+Hitch scene JIB5 (2014) - 1 2 3

26th: ‘It’s not a subtext. It was clear text.’ PurCon8 (2024) - 1

27th: ‘I talked to Jensen and Danneel this morning because I couldn’t sleep’ PurCon7 (2023) - 1

June

July

1st: ‘I miss my blanky’ + ‘I love you’ VS ‘I need you’ (2021 (yes, on the same fucking day)) + ‘Also, Cas is gay.’ (2023) - 1 2 3 + 4

14th: 'Destiel is Cockles Fault' Day SFCon (2024) - 1

24th: ‘Wow, that was really informative. Thank you.’ SDCC (2011) + ‘How do you know’ SDCC (2016) - 1 + 2

August

9th: Destiel fanfics first ship to reach the milestone of 100,000 stories 'I have to admit, I like being on top' (2021)

13th: ‘I’d love to do a Western…slash romcom with Misha’ VanCon (2017) - 1

17th: Cockles day at sea (2015) + ‘I would probably choose to be the car, because Dean would ride me all day’ SPNDEN (2018) - 1 2 + 3

18th: Destiel winning TV Choice Best Chemistry (2015) - 1

20th: Misha Collins' birthday (1974) - 1

September

8th: Release of "Some things I Still Can't Tell You", poetry book by Misha Collins - Men in the Woods (2021) - 1

13th: First broadcast of Supernatural (2005) - /

18th: Broadcast of Lazarus Rising, first appearance of Castiel (2008) + First release of Jensen publicly singing 'Angeles' (2012) (+Bonus: Jensen serenading Misha at JIB11 (2023)) - 1 + 2 3 4

24th: Broadcast of 5x03 “Free to Be You and Me” (2009) (Bonus: reference of ‘personal space’ at SFCon (2024)) - 1

October

11th: Danneel Ackles, sharing a picture of Jensen, reading "Some things I still can't tell you" by the fire, Misha tagged on his heart (2021) - 1 2 

13th: Broadcast of 12x01 “Keep Calm and Carry On” + ‘You're poking me’ Gag reel (2016) - 1

16th: ‘He’s like an angel plushie’ DenCon (2021) - 1

20th: ‘I can say whatever I want because Danneel is in love with you' HCCB (2024) - 1 

21st: Broadcast of 10x03 “Soul Survivor” + ‘Aloha cowboy’ Gag reel (2014) - 1 2

23rd: ‘I should have said ‘I love you too’ and hugged him’ VanCon (2022) - 1

28th: Broadcast of 11x04 “Baby” (2015) (Bonus: reenactment of the CasDean scene at JIB7 (2016))

November

5th: Broadcast of 15x18 "Despair" - Destiel's anniversary (2020) - /

8th: ‘Homosexual declaration of love’ Darklight Online Con (2020) + 'I live it' (2021) - 1 (no official proof because the panel has mysteriously been deleted from social medias around the 26th) + 2

11th: Broadcast of 10x05 “Fan Fiction” (2014) - /

12th: Broadcast of 9x06 “Heaven Can't Wait” (2013) - /

16th: Broadcast of 13x06 “Tombstone” (2017) + ‘Release the tapes!’ Day (2020) - / + 1

19th: Broadcast of 15x20 "Carry on" -> Last episode of Supernatural (so far 🕯🤞🏻) (2020) + Misha sharing by mistake (?) “The epic love story of Jensen Ackles and Misha Collins” blog (2013) - / + 1 2

24-25th: 'y yo a ti' (2020) - 1 

24th: ‘His ferret goes other places’ (2024) - 1

26th: Misha having to live stream and do PR during Thanksgiving, in mid divorce, following 'y yo a ti' (2020) - 1

December

1st: Danneel sharing a post to promote "The Adventurous Eaters Club", featuring Jensen and their kids (2019) - 1 2

5th: ‘I love you, not like a brother, but like a lover’ CCXP (2024) - 1 2

6th: ‘Cas was supposed to have his arm around Dean in the bar’ CCXP (2024) - 1 2

14th: Cockles anniversary (2009) + Introduction of 'Eyes Like The Sky' beer (2020) - 1 2 3 + 4

19th: Jenmisheel holiday package (2017) - 1 2

[pagannatural]

1.02

-Dean is so worried about Sam and his nightmares that he offers to let him drive for apparently the first time ever. The way Sam says “you’re worried about me, I get it” like he’s used to Dean being worried about him. I’m not crying you’re crying.

-there’s just no sane reason for them to stand that close together to look at a photo of a large bear

-I love how Dean teases Sam for using the word “corporeal” but then demonstrates that he does in fact know that word. This makes me believe that Dean is well-read but kinda shy about it because 1. reading was one of the only pastimes he has consistent access to growing up but John wasn’t much of a reader and 2. he wanted to share something with his voracious learner little brother without being obvious, which is why Sam is often surprised in later episodes to learn that Dean read The Odyssey and several books by Kurt Vonnegut

-sidebar was anyone going to tell me those excerpts from John’s journal (about child Dean protectively holding baby Sammy as they slept and Sam taking his first steps toward Dean) are canon or was I just supposed to google it myself?? Anyway the journal also said that Dean did really well in school as a kid before he was a hunter. I love that he’s smart and was probably a little jealous of Sam for succeeding in school when he never really had the chance to.

-Sam seems genuinely hurt that Dean is teasing him about being well-educated. It’s a sore spot.

-Dean: “her brother’s missing, Sam, she’s not just gonna sit this one out” self explanatory

-I wonder when Sam noticed that Dean was still wearing his amulet and if it was a relief or a given

-the way Sam just STARES at Dean when he’s speaking get a room. He has an intense gaze with everyone but his eyes just travel all over Dean’s face in open wonder

-Dean said service to others helps with trauma (saving people, hunting things) and he’s right aside from all the extra trauma he’s racking up. The fact that it’s so normal to him is probably part of why he doesn’t think it’s bad to pull Sam back in.

-Sam’s soft little “are you sure you’re okay?” after helping Dean and then Dean twirling the flare guns to make Sam smile.

-this episode was about Sam letting Dean in after all these years by emulating him, admiring him, and letting him make him feel better by accepting his offer to drive

-it’s been said before but who looks at their brother like this

[it-was-too-cold-always]

We're Not in CW Anymore - 1

The reader gets blasted into another universe - one where Sam and Dean Winchester are real people, real hunters, and really fucked up. To her surprise (or horror), Dean has been getting glimpses of her life in his dreams and is completely enamored with her. It's nothing like the cable-friendly CW show that she knows and loves.

Reader x Dean Winchester

Warnings: language, violence

Chapter 1: The Good News Gabriel Brings

One minute, you were reading your very spicy romance book on your couch. The next, you were sitting in some diner off the highway, book still in hand. You looked around, wondering if anyone noticed you appear out of thin air. Not a single person was looking towards you. Okay, this must be a dream, I dozed off while reading, you thought. If I'm right, I won't be able to read words. You opened up to a random part in the book, and sure enough, you could read every single smutty word on that page. Fuck. What just happened?

"More coffee, sweetie?" The waitress pulled you from your downward spiral. You accepted, though you'd rather be drinking something a little stronger. You took a sip, letting the warmth fill you up. You looked down - you were no longer wearing your oversized sleep shirt. Instead, you were wearing skinny jeans, brown boots, and a gray tank top with a blue flannel layered on top. Very autumn lumberjack, you thought. It was much more appropriate than your sleep shirt though, given the dreary weather outside. You pulled your phone out of your back pocket, surprised to find a signal. You were more surprised that you had your phone at all, and even more perplexed when you saw your purse sitting on the booth next to you. You peeked inside - thank god, your inhaler. You're gonna need that because the panic will surely set in soon. You scroll through your phone and find your messages are all gone. There's no logs of calls or contacts. Everything has been wiped. Great. You pull up the news to see if you can get your bearings a little. You weren't quite sure what else to do - after all, you've never teleported before.

You were too focused on your phone to notice a 1967 Chevy Impala pull up to the diner. Nor did you notice the two gigantic men walk through the front door as the bell jingled. But one of these men clocked you almost immediately. His face turned pale and he stopped in his tracks. "Holy shit," he breathed. The taller one looked at him like he was nuts, but before he could say anything else, the shorter (but still really tall) one found himself walking towards you. "Dude, what the hell?" His buddy was following him to your booth.

"Hey. Hi. Um, can I sit here?" Real smooth, dipshit, he thought to himself. You looked up at the man speaking to you, not really registering what he said. This man was a spitting image of Jensen Ackles. In fact, they could be twins. However the man standing in front of you had his flannel sleeves rolled up enough for you to see a tattoo sleeve and a myriad of scars peppering his skin. The man who appeared behind this man looked exactly like Jared Padalecki. "Am I being punked?" you asked. The two men look at each other and sit down in your booth, facing you. They look intrigued, waiting for you to keep talking.

"I wouldn't really say 'punked,' but I really had some fun with this one." A dude appeared out of nowhere, sitting next to you, looking like Richard Speight, Jr. Okay, what the actual fuck.

"Gabriel? What the fuck are you doing here?" the guy who looked like Jared asked. Okay, we got Sam, Dean, Gabriel...what's next? Cas? You look out the window to see the Impala and your stomach flips.

"Listen, I don't have a lot of time for you bozos, so pay attention and don't interrupt. Y/N, this is Sam and Dean. Sam and Dean, this is Y/N. Yes, like the show Supernatural, I know, whoop-de-do, let's get to the juicy parts, alright?" Gabriel looks almost irritated with his little speech.

"What the hell is going on?" Sam's patience was wearing thin already.

"What did I say about interrupting? You're a bad listener. As I was saying, Y/N comes from another universe. Dean, I'm sure you're quite familiar. Y/N, you get the gist of it, but it's not exactly like the CW show. This is more real-life, nitty gritty, not at all rated PG-13. There's a lot of shit from the show that didn't happen in this universe. The writing really went to shit after Kripke left, but that's just my opinion. I digress. Y/N and Dean are soulmates, don't ask me how they ended up in different universes, I'm just here to fix it. So boom, problem solved, have fun figuring all this shit out." Gabriel acted bored but seemed to be amused by this situation.

Your head was spinning. Supernatural. Real life. Alternate universe. Soulmates? You stared down your coffee cup as you tried to wrap your head around the situation. It was hard when the entire time, you could feel Dean staring at you. He hasn't taken his eyes off you since he walked into the diner. You thought they were attractive on the show, but in real like they're so gorgeous, it's intimidating.

"Why would you do Dean a favor like that? What do you get out of it?" Sam asked. "Nothing from you ever comes out of the kindness of your heart."

"Listen bud, I just know what's gotta happen and I do it. Any other questions?"

"Hold on! You said parts of the TV show didn't happen in this universe. Which parts?" You had to know - Rowena, Crowley, Chuck, Leviathan - was all of this real now?

"Just the dumb parts. All of season 7 basically. That weird attachment Dean had with the Darkness even though she was a kid for a while, creepy if you ask me. The whole Darkness thing never happened, don't know if it will in the future though. The Men of Letters are alive and thriving, Sam and Dean actually work for them as hunters. I don't know kid I'm sure you'll figure it all out." His answer placated you for now. It was still too much for your brain to process. You're sure you'll have lots of questions come up as the day progresses. You turn to thank him, but he's already gone. That leaves you alone in a booth with Sam and Dean Winchester.

Chapter 2

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

All In or All Out?

Summary: Dean needs an answer.

Warnings: None really.

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Y/N

Word Count: 625

A/N: I got this very fun ask:

Anonymous asked: use a photo on your phone camera roll and write a quick scene/hc for it

So, the photo above is the one I used. Hope you enjoy what I came up with for it. ❤️

The beautiful divider below and at the bottom was created by @talesmaniac89

"You gotta decide here and now." Dean told her in a low, firm voice. "I know it's not fair."

He looked up at her standing in front of him and tried to catch her gaze, but she purposely wasn't looking. "And you can think I'm an asshole if you want." He continued with a shrug. "That's your right, and you're probably not wrong."

Y/N shook her head, still refusing to look at him, far too aware of the sway those green eyes had over her. But Dean finally reached up to grab her chin and force her gaze back to his.

"Hey." He said quietly. "Look at me." 

She did, and she fell - like she knew she would. She would fall for this man forever. 

"I need to know, sweetheart." He said huskily. "You have to be all in or all out in this life. I know, because I've tried straddling the fence before and it just doesn't work. Live like that and hunters miss things, or they lose focus and they fumble. So, if we're gonna be together, I mean for real, for life," he was the one to drop his gaze this time, "then, Baby, you gotta decide if you can deal with me as a hunter, whether or not you can live this life with me."

She saw the muscle in his jaw flex. "Or, if it's too much for you then…okay. That's," he licked his lips, biting into the bottom one before clearing his throat, "that's okay. I get it."

He captured her gaze again and smiled softly. But his eyes were sad and they made Y/N’s heart ache. "But look…whatever you decide, sweetheart, I’ll always love you. That won't ever change."

Y/N closed her eyes and thought about the future she'd have with him; living in constant fear of losing him, watching him beat himself up when he lost people, knowing there was no way for her to stop him from doing that, putting up with him when he lashed out at her because the weight of the world was bearing down on his shoulders, and even knowing there might be some things he'd prioritize above their love - saving the world tended to be a sacrificial gig. 

She thought about all the bad, and tried to weigh it against the good, as she'd been doing for days since Dean first said that he needed her to give him an answer. She'd tumbled everything around and around in her mind and finally she was coming to the conclusion that there were dozens of reasons, big and small, for her to say no, to bow out.

And only one reason to stay, one reason to sign on to a hunter's life and that was the hunter sitting in front of her now. The reasons all boiled down to one very real, inescapable truth.

If she walked away from Dean Winchester, her soul would stay behind. 

She would never not need him, never not crave him. She was never, ever going to be able to say goodbye to that smile, and those eyes that held enough pain for fifty lifetimes, but that could still sparkle, bright and beautiful.

So, the choice he was giving her, wasn't really much of a choice. She was lost at their first hello.

She leaned forward and cupped his cheeks in her hands, her heart squeezing when he nuzzled into the touch.

"There is no other answer for me, Dean. You are my answer. My only answer." She shrugged and smiled lovingly before she pressed her mouth to his, feeling the heat of his lips sweep across her skin. She pulled back and, pressing her forehead to his, she made her vow.

"I'm all in."

Tags below the cut:

1 - Jensen RPF + Any/All characters Jensen plays. @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @impalaslytherin @maggiegirl17 @akshi8278 @candy-coated-misery0731 @deanswaywardgirl @slytherinlyn314 @globetrotter28 @jensensgirl @perpetualabsurdity @tristanrosspada-ackles @djs8891 @muhahaha303 @kayyay1219 @emily-winchester @recoveringpastaaddict @maximumkillshot @mimaria420 @sacriceria @envyaurora95 @lacilou @jc-winchester @spnwoman @mimi-luvzyu

2 - Dean Winchester Fics Only. @carryonwaywardgirl

3 - Any/All Fics (regardless of fandom/character.) @kazsrm67 @sexyvixen7 @alexxavicry @nancymcl @spalady26

4 - Everything (includes fan vid/DOOL edits as well) @unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men @maliburenee @supernatural4life2022 @spn730015 @kickingitwithkirk @waywardbaby @foxyjwls007 @deanwanddamons @deandreamernp @deanwithscissors @myloversgone @snowlovespie @leigh70 @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @charred-angelwings @hopefuldreamers-world @jensensgotyoudean @thoughts-and-funnies @magssteenkamp @princessmisery666 @eevvvaa @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @waynes-multiverse @mrsjenniferwinchester @bernasaurus @jensenslady79 @courtn92 @avanatural @ellie-andthemachine @this-is-me19 @roseblue373 @katbratsupernaturalwhore @fanfic-n-tabulous

[luvergirl-866]

Okay, I've got questions after reading Chapter 7.

1 - I don't know if I'm annoyed with Paige, sympathetic towards her, or confused with her. I mean Azzi's helping her, but she keeps doing this hot and cold thing with her that was cute because you can tell there is obviously feelings there on her end but they keeping using their "friendship" as the line in the sand they can't cross. I get that, but I guess I need to get Paige's perspective because this chapter she was infuriating with how she treated Azzi throughout. Like she barely talks to Azzi during the day, then at the party she's insistent on telling a story to "last years hookup" and I'm like who cares about the damn story if Azzi is willingly like I want to hook up. Will we get a chapter to kind of flesh Paige out a bit? see where her headspace is at from parents to Azzi?

2- I guess a part of me is me is waiting for Azzi to pop off on her because she's getting jerked around a bit. I mean I couldn't imagine being in this headspace where there is actual feelings but then we're pretending. But at some points I'm wondering when Azzi is going demand some bit of respect because she's helping Paige. Like the whole time where Paige is just doing the silent treatment, I'm like Azzi girl, you need to boss up on her and let her know that she can play this game by herself especially when Azzi has more to lose at this point since she's actually falling for Paige. Like I'm desperately waiting for Azzi to force Paige's hand in this because it seems like Paige holds all the cards. Is this the power dynamic you mean to have or does it shift at some point?

3 - I find myself reading and thinking back to how things are with Azzi and Paige's family in real life, and I'm like I think Paige's mom does actually adore her. I mean they've been picture hugging, then she went to Montana this summer and a time before. I guess, I'm at the stance of how does Paige's mom in the story really feel about Azzi? Seeing how they are together, does she like Azzi in this fic at all? Dean is an ass, I think personally, I would applaud him being mauled by a bear while driving home from work. He just sounds like someone I would never assosciate with in my life because they're someone that hides behind religion to justify their hate/dislike, to me those are the worst people on this planet. I'd rather you own your hate/dislike of something than hide behind religion, which I get the vibe from him and Amy just seems to be brainwashed by him. At any point is Amy going to have a redeemable moment? How does she really feel about Azzi? How does she feel about Paige's interest in women? I just find myself rattling off questions when you include her in the story becuase I feel like some of Paige's actions are due to her mother and the acceptance, but then a part of me feels like she may not care....see, I'm getting all tangled up again.

4 - I find myself feeling bad for Lauren and Ryan because they're really getting attached to Azzi, but in the end its all an act. Are they going to be impacted by this "fake relationship"? I know Azzi liked Lauren because she doesn't have a sister of her own, so I just liked that little relationship you developed with Azzi and the kids and I'm just wondering if there's guilt there at all as to when it all comes out that they're not really together from either Paige or Azzi?

Great writing, I mean I'm sure you're catching flack for this chapter. Which is always a good thing because you want readers to engage and my goodness, my emotions have been all over the place throughout the story in regards to Paige mostly. I'm going to need for her to sit in her emotions for a bit and process shit because my goodness, I feel like when things finally hit the fan, it'll be more blood on her hands. Like I want her to be scared to lose Azzi because this whole "my bad, I'm sorry" is not cutting it when Azzi is getting in this mess as deep as Paige, especially since she's actually falling for her.

Then Azzi, I just need my girl to boss up. She's in Montana. Montana. It was love when she boarded that plane to MONTANA. But love don't replace respect, and she needs some on the moments Paige wants to be silent. Next time, I just pray that Azzi packs her shit up and catches the first donkey back to the airport to leave Montana and just rips Paige a new one to let her know that I can love you but I can also leave your ass too because I'm not the one, two, or three.

Again, great chapter. You've got me all bothered. Can't wait for the next chapter.

ok lemme try to answer ur questions as i read thru them—

1) yes i’ve planned to do a paige pov all along!! i feel the story can’t rly feel complete without getting both their perspectives at some point

2) this is definitely the power dynamic i set up between them, but i set it up for the whole purpose of it changing later on. i hope that makes sense 😭

3) yes i’m sure paige’s mother is lovely!!! her whole personality in this is fictional for the plot. i can’t answer these particular questions without spoiling things so you’ll just have to wait and see hahah (also yes, i would 100% support killing dean off as well)

4) this is another question i can’t answer atm 😭 i promise they will be answered in the story!!

yeah i’m getting a lot of flack but also the most reactions/emotions thus far sooo i can’t complain!! i love making yall stressed 🤣

[cascodeddeangirlie]

No because what if Destiel was canon when Cas met Cain in that graveyard…

I used the actual script so 99% of the dialogue is not original! Also sorry if the formatting is weird, it’s my first time posting and I’m on mobile.

“It's Cas.” Dean put his phone on speaker. He hadn’t heard Cas’s voice for a good while, but as much as he’d like to keep it for himself, they were looking for Cain. He couldn’t afford to be selfish right now. “Hey, where you at?”

“Illinois.” It was good to hear his voice again. Especially after he hadn’t been picking up his calls earlier.

“Hey, Cas, we got a lead. Cain abducted a Texas death row inmate named Tommy Tolliver.” Sam said, sounding like he barely believed what he was saying. It sounded a little ridiculous, but that was normal for them. This seemed normal. Almost like they were working a case again.

But Sam and Dean weren’t with Cas. They couldn’t see him crouching in the woods, holding a white sneaker that had ‘TDJC’ written on the bottom. When Cas spoke again, it’s nothing close to what they wanted to hear. “He's dead.”

“What? How do you know?” Sam asked, staring at the phone. Dean was worried now, his concern clear on his face.

“Call it an educated guess. Cain has been very busy.” Castiel stood, looking around. The woods where he had been were never really woods at all, just woods surrounding a clearing. A clearing full of freshly dug graves.

Dean’s fear was clear through his voice. “Okay, where are you? We'll come to you.”

Cas felt someone watching him through the trees. He looked around, unsure where it was coming from. “I'll call you back.”

Dean sighed, exasperated, and put his phone in his pocket. With Cas leaving as unexpectedly as usual, he must be okay.

Meanwhile, Cas turned around to find Cain staring at him.

“Hello, Castiel.” Cain seemed unfazed, despite being surrounded by death that he caused. Perhaps it’s natural for the father of murder.

“What have you done?” The angel is appalled, angry.

“These bodies? Just cleaning up a mess I made a long time ago.” He still sounded relaxed. Maybe there was a tinge of regret in his voice, but it was too faint to tell.

“Cain, I know what you were. But you'd resisted for so long.” He was desperate and it showed. He wanted Cain to say something to redeem this, to say he would stop, that he could stop.

“What can I say? I got the taste back.” Cain isn’t moved at all by Cas’s attempt at reconciling him. “With Abaddon's army gunning for me, I had to take up arms again, and I liked how it felt.” As he spoke, he walked closer to Castiel.

“Those were demons. These-” Cas looked around once again. The graves were appalling. The deaths were an abomination. It never should have happened.

Cain crouched down and lifted up a teddy bear. It was muddy and torn apart, and Castiel just knew that it was a small child’s favorite toy. A now deceased child.

“Humans.” Cain breathed out, staring at the bear. “Eh, the Mark thirsts for all kinds.” He lowers the bear and looks away from it.

“This is a massacre.” Castiel’s voice was filled with anger. So many dead. Children, fathers, mothers, siblings, entire families destroyed because they happened to be descended from a killer.

“Yes.” Cain looks up at Cas. He sounds almost dreamy. “And soon it'll be a genocide.” He stood, tossing the bear aside. “My children, my whole poisoned issue. A lot of them out there right now... killers, fighters, thieves, some more peaceful than others. But they still carry it... the disease. If the Mark wants blood, I'll give it mine.” He walked closer, stepping between graves. He seemed peaceful, as though he were simply accepting this as something that had to happen, that he needed to do.

“You'll kill them all? You are Adam and Eve's firstborn. Your descendants are legion.” Cas walks closer to Cain.

“At most, I'm culling... 1 in 10.” Cain said this in a way that attempted to justify what he was doing. To say that maybe it was acceptable.

He earned himself a glare from Cas. “Of everyone.”

“I’ve got time.” Cas’s glare hardened. Cain continued like he couldn’t see it. “How's Dean, by the way? I hear he did good, took Abaddon down.”

Cas looked away, losing his glare. Cain’s expression finally dropped a little.

“He's…not well.” Cain said, realizing. He knew. Cain knew that look. It’s the look his Colette wore. It’s the look of someone slowly losing their lover.

Castiel’s gaze flickered back up to Cain. “Even with the First Blade hidden, Dean is losing his fight against the Mark. If we don't find a cure…He’ll start and never stop.” His eyes wander around the graveyard again. Knowing that one day, he could be standing in another graveyard, but next time it will not be created by someone evil, not by an entity that they are stopping, but Dean. His Dean. His charge, his human, his love. The one he risked everything for. The one he rescued from Hell and reconstructed, saw every single part of his being and soul, and fell for. There was no one else like him and there never will be. Castiel already knew that one day he could lose Dean, maybe in a hunting accident, maybe to old age, something mortal, but not like this. Watching him lose himself was worse. Watching everything that made him fall in love fade was worse. Watching the soul that he sewed back together tear itself apart was so, so much worse. This, the mark, is the worst thing that could have ever happened. “He just needs to stop. I need him to stop.”

Cain saw it. He saw that he had created another one of himself, that he was destroying someone else in love the way he had destroyed Colette. Those eyes, full of fear, sadness, anger, are the same ones he saw when he looked at her. He had destroyed her from the inside out, and now he was making Dean do the same to his angel.

But it was too late.

“There is no cure. I'm living proof of that. But don't worry about Dean. I'll get to him. In due time.” Cain couldn’t apologize, not now. He knew this would happen. He had tried to warn Dean of the consequences. The final thing he knew, the most concrete thing to him, was that there was nothing he could say or do at this point to save this angel from his Colette’s fate, his new fate.

Castiel’s moment of vulnerability with this murderer passed. His angel blade dropped from his sleeve into his hand.

“Sorry Castiel.” Cain’s gaze softened, if only for a second. He had so much more in that apology than Castiel might have realized. “I’m sorry that you have to lose him like this. I’m sorry that I’m going to kill him. I’m sorry that the Mark is taking him apart. I’m sorry…I’m sorry, Colette.”

“You’re not on my list.” Cain said, then disappeared. Castiel was alone. And as he looked around the graveyard, he knew. He knew this could be his future, that Dean could end up leaving him the same way Cain just did, cold and uncaring and only focused on killing.

And he knew he would never be able to stop him.

Thanks for reading :3 apologies if it was ooc at all

[lightofraye]

Jensen's Roles (past and upcoming)

This one is gonna be a long one! Bear with me folks. (Not his full list of work, by the way.)

1. Eric Brady. Sami Brady's long-lost twin! I remember getting into an argument with my older brother about Eric Brady. My brother insisted Sami never had a twin, and I kept saying "Well! He's her twin!" Turned out Days of Our Lives forgot Sami had a twin! (Days of Our Lives)

2. Alec McDowell (and Ben McDowell). A genetic creation of Manticore, Jensen played two roles--first of a psychotic creation, Ben. He did such a good role as Ben they brought him back as the twin, Alec, named as such because he was sarcastic and, according to Max, a "smart alec". (Dark Angel)

3. CJ Braxton. CJ's had an interesting storyline. He was a depressed teen who turned to alcohol to cope. Nearly destroying a number of his relationships (friends and love interests, both), CJ decided to abstain from drinking. He also joined a teen helpline called The Stand. There had always been speculation that he was the father of Jen's child, though it was never revealed. (Dawson's Creek)

4. Jason Teague. Jason was probably a weak storyline, to be honest. He had potential, but the writers really didn't make it work. He was in a relationship with Lana, but only using her to get closer to the other characters for some stones of power. His character was unceremoniously killed off at the end by a meteor shower. (Smallville)

5. Dean Winchester. The most famous role of all: the elder Winchester brother. Protector, stand-in parent, hunter, brother, friend. Dean would move the world to protect his brother, Sam. There was nothing he wouldn't do for him. Dean had made bargains to save his brother, sold his soul, endured lifetimes. As long as he had Sam, Dean would be okay. The show began with the brothers and ended with them. (Supernatural)

6. Soldier Boy. The "first" Supe. (In the world of The Boys, they don't say "Superhero", largely because, guess what? It's trademarked, so a lot of other comics and such have to dance around the term.) Anyway. Soldier Boy was the first. He did it in hopes of finally impressing his father, but his father claimed he "cheated". Honestly, Soldier Boy's father sounds like an abusive douche. Ben--Soldier Boy--was also an abusive douche, continuing the family 'tradition'. Was very cruel and abrasive to his team, Payback, so much so that Vought decided they had enough and plotted to get rid of him by selling him out to Russia. It worked. Russia held him captive, tortured him for decades, until The Boys freed him in exchange for killing Homelander--who is also his son. It's a messed up family, y'all. Jensen will be returning for Season 5! (The Boys)

7. Beau Arlen. Beau Arlen was a mystery, for the large part. The show teased at something huge that led to Beau getting divorced from Carla, that led to him "retiring" as a sheriff for a time, before he was convinced to come back as a sheriff, which led to the start of Season 3. There was a small teaser in the show that indicated a partner of his was killed and he shut down, emotionally, and Carla couldn't handle it anymore. He dearly loves his daughter, Emily, and was ready to move heaven and earth to save her. (Big Sky)

8. Russell Shaw. What's a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a secret? You'd get Russell Shaw, that's who. What we do know: he stood up a lot to his father, who was a paranoid survivalist, protecting his siblings, at least for a time. Then their father was killed and Russell ran, afraid he would be (rightly) blamed for it. For some 20 years, Russell was in the military (approximately 18 years) before retiring to be a secret Black Ops agent of sorts for a group known as Horizon. He kept in touch with their sister Dory, but Colter kept avoiding Russell, up until Russell tracked him down and asked for help. There's a lot of hints that there's a lot more going on that Colter is unaware of--like how it was their mother who urged Russell to run instead of facing his siblings about their father's death, how Dory kept a box of stuff about their father, and so forth. Jensen will return for more episodes. (Tracker)

UPCOMING

9. Mark Meachum. Very little is known about this show or character. What has been said so far: LAPD officer Mark Meachum being recruited to join a secret task force of undercover agents from all branches of law enforcement to investigate. Among this secret task force is Nathan Blythe, Special Agent in Charge who’s been with the Bureau for 22 years. Then there's Special Agent Amber Oliveras, who is a DEA agent. Several others from different task forces will be joining Meachum in uncovering the conspiracy and saving the city. (Countdown)

10. Soldier Boy (again). This time for the prequel, Vought Rising. Kripke described it as: It’s a twisted murder mystery about the origins of Vought in the 1950s, the early exploits of Soldier Boy, and the diabolical maneuvers of a supe known to fans as Stormfront, who was then going by the name Clara Vought. (Vought Rising)

--

Phew! These are the notables. Of course, he's done voicework as both Red Hood and Batman in a number of animated films. He's done guest roles in the Buddy movies. Devour. My Bloody Valentine. And others.

[layce2015]

Supernatural (Dean Winchester x Female!Reader)

I Believe The Children Are Our Future

Masterlist pt 1

Masterlist pt 2

"Agents Page, Lee and Plant, FBI." I introduced to the doctor as the boys and I show him our badges. "Gentlemen and lady. What brings you by?" the doctor asked us. "We need to see Amber Freer's body." Sam said. "Really? What for?" the doctor asked us. "The police report said something clawed through her skull?" Dean said, questioning. "You didn't read the autopsy report that I emailed out this morning?" The Doctor asked us, catching us off guard.

"W-we had, uh, server issues." I said and the doctor walks away, we follow him. 

The doctor opens one of the freezers and pulls out the slab with Amber's body. He tosses back the sheet from her head. "When they brought her in, we thought she was attacked by a wolf or something." He explain. "Or something." I said, raising an eyebrow. "But we were wrong." the doctors said and he picks up a plastic bag from the slab and shows it to us.

"Is that a—" Sam said and the Doctor nods. "It's a press-on nail. We found it in her temporal lobe." he said. "Is that even possible?" I asked him. "Wait, are you—you saying that she did this to herself?" Dean asked the Doctor. "Uh-huh. She scratched her brains out. It'd take hours, and it'd hurt like hell, but sure—it's possible." The Doctor said.

"How?" Dean asked. "Pick your acronym—OCD, PCP. It all spells crazy." the doctor said as Sam pulls back the sheet a little further. Amber's right hand has four press-on nails still attached; the middle finger has nothing. "My guess, some kind of phantom itch. I mean, an extreme case, but..." The Doctor said. "Phantom itch?" Sam asked. "Yup." the Doctor said and he covers Amber's head and slides the slab back into the freezer, closing the door.

"All it takes is someone talking about an itch—or thinking about one, even—and suddenly you can't stop scratching." he said and I nod. "Thanks, doc." I said as Sam scratches under his collar, Dean scratches his ear and I scratch the back of my head.

Later, we were in Jimmy's house and Sam was sitting in the armchair in the living room, holding a notebook and pen, and Jimmy's father and Francine are sitting on the sofa. Dean and I wander around behind them. "Okay. Okay, now, some of these questions might seem a bit odd, but please just bear with me. Have you noticed any cold spots in the house?" Sam asked them. "Uh...no." Jimmy's dad said, a look of confusion on his face.

"Okay, uh, what about strange smells?" Sam asked as Dena and I look around the corner to see Jimmy. "Whatcha lookin' for?" he asked us. "Don't know yet." Dean said as I walk up to Jimmy. "It's, uh, Jimmy, right?" I asked and he nods.

"So, Amber was your babysitter?" I asked him. "Yes, ma'am." He said. "Yeah, most of my babysitters sucked. Especially Ms. Chancey. She only cared about two things. Dynasty and bedtime." Dean said before he chuckles and I roll my eyes.

"Did you, uh, you see anything strange that night?" I asked Jimmy. "No, ma'am." Jimmy said. "You sure about that?" Dean asked. "I—I would tell you if I knew something." he said and Dean and I look at the kid. "I promise. One hundred percent. Cross my heart." Jimmy said and Dean looks back over his shoulder, then back at Jimmy.

"Well, Jimmy, I, uh...I happen to know you're lying." Dean said to him and Jimmy looks a bit terrified. "I'm not." Jimmy said and Dean leans down and puts a hand on Jimmy's shoulder. "We gonna start talking truth, or are you and me gonna have to take a little trip downtown?" Dean asked him and Jimmy gives us, wide eyes.

Later, the boys and I were leaving when Dean holds up a packet of itching powder. "Kid said he put this on the babysitter's hairbrush." Dean said to Sam. "Dean, there's no way itching powder made that girl scratch her brains out. It's just ground-up maple seeds." Sam said. "If you have any other theories, we're open to 'em." I said as a cell phone rings.

Sam pulls his out and answers it while Dean opens the back driver side door of the Impala for me. "Aw, such a gentleman." I said to him as I climb in and Dean smiles then shuts the door and gets into the driver's seat. "Yeah? ...Yeah, we'll be right there." Sam said as he goes around the car.

Back at the hospital, a nurse zips up a body bag and he and another nurse roll it out of the room while the Doctor watches from the corridor as we come up behind him. "What happened?" Sam asked him. "Guy got electrocuted." the doctor replied as he turns to us.

"Any idea how?" Dean asked. "Eh, maybe a loose wire or a piece of equipment shorted out. So far, we haven't found anything." the doctor said. "Witnesses?" I asked. "Yeah, guy in there—Mr. Stanley." the doctor said as he points to an old man sitting in a chair in the room, looking out the window. "He says he saw it, but he's not making a lick of sense. Senile." the doctor said said. "Thanks." Sam said and we enter the room as the doctor leaves.

"Um, Mr. Stanley?" Sam asked as we walk up to the old man. "It was just a joke. I didn't know it would really work." Stanley said, upset. "What would work?" Dean asked him and Stanley looks at Dean. "All I did was shake his hand." he said and he holds out his hand, showing us that he is holding a joy buzzer. 

At the motel, Dean puts on a pair of goggles and a pair of gloves, then adjusts the goggles and picks up the joy buzzer. He looks at the joy buzzer for a moment, then turns to me and Sam. "You ready?" Dean asked us. "Hit it, Mr. Wizard." I said as Sam and I hold another pair of goggles to our eyes.

There is a large uncooked ham in two stacked aluminum-foil pans sitting on the table in front of Dean. Dean holds the joy buzzer over the ham, hesitates, and presses it to the ham. Electricity crackles and steam rises from the ham as it changes color.

When the ham is blackened, Dean removes the joy buzzer and the ham sizzles. Sam and I lower the goggles and gawk as Dean flips up the dark-plastic visor on the goggles. "That'll do, pig." he mutters. "What the hell?" Sam said, shocked.

Dean takes off the goggles, still staring at the now-cooked ham. "That crap isn't supposed to work." I said. "This thing doesn't even have batteries." Dean said as he takes off one glove and removes the other.

"So...so, what? Are—are we looking at cursed objects?" I asked. "Sounds good." Dean said as he pulls out a knife, flips it open, and cuts a piece off the ham. "Maybe there's a powerful witch in town." he said and he eats the piece of ham. "Is there any link between the, uh, the joy buzzer and the itching powder?" he asked us as I raise an eyebrow at him.

"Uh, one was made in China, the other Mexico, but they were both bought from the same store." Sam said as Dean cuts off another piece of ham. "Hmm." Dean hums then he holds up the piece of ham. Sam and I shake our heads and Dean proceeds to eat the ham.

We enter a joke shop and the door chimes as we walk in. Someone laughs and the door chimes again as we walk around. "Guys!" Dean said as he picks up a whoopee cushion and holds it up, grinning. Sam sighs and shakes his head, turning away. "You are such a child." I said to Dean as he goes and brings the whoopee cushion up to the checkout counter, which has a display of rubber chickens next to it.

Then an older gentleman comes out of the back room. "Welcome to the Conjurarium, sanctum of magic and mystery." he said as Sam and I come up to the counter. "You the owner?" Sam asked him. "Yep." the man said. "You sold any itching powder or joy buzzers lately?" Dean asked him. "Yeah, a grand total of one of each. They aren't exactly big-ticket items. Look, you three here to buy something or what?" the owner asked us.

Dean pulls some cash out of his wallet, holds up the whoopee cushion, and hands the owner the cash. "So, you get many customers?" I asked him. "Kids come in. They don't buy much, but they're more than happy to break stuff. These days, all they care about are their iPhones and those kissing-vampire movies. The whole thing makes me just—" the owner said then Dean finishes his sentence. "Angry?" he asked.

The Owner pauses, then nods. "Yeah. Yeah, I am angry. This shop has been my life for twenty years, and now it's wasting away to nothing." he said. "Which is why you hate them." Dean said. "I suppose." The owner said, shrugging. "You wish there was something you could do about it." Dean said. "Yeah, I guess I do." the owner said.

"So you're taking revenge." Dean accuses as he pulls a rubber chicken off the display and slaps it down on the counter. "With this." he said and he holds up the joy buzzer and presses it to the rubber chicken, electricity crackles. The Owner yelps and leaps back. "Oh! No!" he screams as the rubber chicken melts.

The owner stares, making inarticulate noises, while the boys and I watch him. "Yeah, something tells me this guy is not a powerful witch." I said. "Sorry. Sorry." Dean said to him and we leave.

The next day, Sam and I leave the hospital room with this man who had his teeth pulled and head to the corridor where Dean was talking to a nurse, who was obviously checking him out.

She leaves as Sam and I approach Dean, who turns to us. "What's up with Toothless? Cavity creeps get ahold of him?" he asked us. "Yeah. Close. He wrote up a description." Sam said and he reads from his notebook. "Five foot ten, three hundred fifty pounds, wings, and a pink tutu. Said it was the tooth fairy." Sam said and Dean narrows his eyes in confusion.

"So he's obviously whacked out on painkillers." He said. "Maybe. Whatever it was got past locked doors and windows without triggering the alarm." I said,  shrugging. "Come on. Tooth fairy?" Dean said, disbelieving. "And it left thirty-two quarters underneath his pillow. One for each tooth." Sam said and Dean nods.

"Well, I will see your crazy and raise you some. There's a couple of kids upstairs with stomach ulcers—say they got it from mixing Pop Rocks and Coke. Another guy...his face...froze that way." Dean said. "What way?" I asked. Dean looks in all directions, then pulls out the sides of his mouth and crosses his eyes. He holds it for a moment and lets go.

"He, uh, held it too long, and it—it stuck. They're flying in a plastic surgeon." Dean said as he pokes at his cheeks and wiggles his chin. "So, I mean, if you add all that up..." Sam hesitates and Dean and I raise our eyebrows. "I got nothing." Sam said and he starts down the hallway past Dean, who turns around to walk alongside him, I follow.

"I thought sea-monkeys were real." Dean said. "They are. They're brine shrimp." I said. "No, no, no, I mean like in the ads. You know, like the sea-monkey wife cooks the pot roast for the sea-monkey husband, and the sea-monkey kids play with the dog in a sea-monkey castle—real. I mean, I was six, but I believed it." Dean said. "Okay." Sam said, unsure where Dean was going with this.

"Point is..." Dean said and he stops. Sam and I stop and turn to him. "Maybe that's the connection. The tooth fairy, the Pop Rocks and Coke, the joy buzzer that shocks you—they're all lies that kids believe." Dean said. "And now they're coming true. Okay, so whatever's doing this is—is reshaping reality. It has the powers of a god. Or—" Sam stops and I roll my eyes. "—of a trickster." I added and Sam nods.

"Yeah, with the sense of humor of a nine-year-old." Dean said. "Or you." I add and Sam laughs and we walk off.

Later, Sam and I come into the motel room to see Dean sitting at the table, taking a bit out of a sandwich, obviously made from that ham he cooked. "Dude, seriously—still with the ham?" Sam asked as he holds up the map we found. "We don't have a fridge." Dean replied, through the mouthful of food he had. 

"Hey, don't talk with your mouth full." I scolded him as I shut the door and Sam puts the map down in front of Dean. "Well, we found something." Sam said and Dean stands up for a better view. Sam points to a red X on the map for every incident. "Um, tooth fairy attack was here, Pop Rocks and Coke was here, then you've got itching powder, face freeze, and joy buzzer—all located within a two-mile radius." Sam explains as he indicates the area containing all the red X's.

"So, we got a blast zone of weird, and inside, fantasy becomes reality." Dean said. "Looks like." I said, nodding. "And what's the A-bomb at its center?" Dean asked. "Four acres of farmland...and a house." I said and Dean looks between me and Sam.

A mail truck drives past the house and past the Impala, as we pull up and park. The boys and I, wearing suits, get out and cross the street, walking up to the house. Dean checks Ruby's knife, which is tucked into his belt. Sam bends down to pick the lock, but straightens up in a hurry when the door opens, revealing a young boy.

"Can I help you?" He asked us. "Hi. Uh, what's your name?" I asked him. "Who wants to know?" the boy asked, suspiciously, and Dean, Sam and I glance at each other.

"The, uh..." Dean said then he clears his throat and pulls out his badge, showing it to the boy while Sam and I go for our badges. "FBI." Dean said as we hold up our badges. "Let me see that." the boy said as he takes Dean's badge and examines then hands it back.

"So, what, you guys don't knock?" he asked us as Sam and I put our badges away. "Are your parents home?" I asked him. "They work." the boy replied. "Well, you mind if we ask you a few questions, maybe take a look around the house?" Sam asked. "I don't know." the boy said.

"Come on. You can trust us. We're the authorities." Dean said as he holds up his badge again but the boy looked unimpressed. He glances between us as we try to smile reassuringly.

The boy leads us into his house as he goes to the kitchen and turns off the stove, where there was a pot of food boiling. We follow him into the kitchen, looking around. "What's that?" Sam asked, nodding to the pot. "It's called soup." the boy replied as he takes the pot off the stove. "You heat it up and you eat it." he said, sounding like it was obvious, and Sam chuckles.

"Right. I, I know. It's just, um...I used to make my own dinner, too, when I was a kid." Sam said. "Well, I'm not a kid." the boy grumbles as Dean notices the artwork on the fridge.

"Right. No, I, I know. Um..." Sam stammers then he holds out a hand. "I'm Robert, by the way." he introduced and the boys shakes his hand and then I hold mine out. "And I'm Sheila." I said and he takes my hand. "Jesse." the kid said.

"Jesse, nice to meet you." I said as Dean steps closer, holding a picture of a bearded man with pink wings and tutu. "Did you draw this?" he asked and Jesse turns to him and nods. "It's the tooth fairy." he states.

"That's what you think the tooth fairy looks like, huh?" Dean asked. "Yeah. My dad told me about him." Jesse said and Dean glances at me and Sam. "Huh." Dean huffs. "What, didn't your dad tell you about the tooth fairy?" Jesse asked him. "My dad?" Dean chuckles. "My dad told me different stories." he said. "Well, the tooth fairy isn't a story." Jesse said, firmly. 

"What do you know about itching powder, Jesse?" I asked him. "That stuff will make you scratch your brains out." Jesse said. "Pop Rocks and Coke?" Dean asked. "You mix them, and you'll end up in the hospital. Everyone knows that." Jesse said then Dean pulls the joy buzzer out of his pocket and holds it up.

"You shouldn't have that." Jesse said. "Why not?" Dean asked. "It can electrocute you." Jesse said. "Actually, it can't. It's just a wind-up toy. It's totally harmless. Doesn't even have batteries." Dean said. "So it can't shock you?" Jesse asked. "Nope. Not at all. I swear." Dean said. "Oh. Okay." Jesse said.

"I mean, all it does is just shake in your hand. It's kind of lame. See?" Dean said and he presses the joy buzzer to Sam's chest. It buzzes and Sam stiffens up and turns to Dean, looking murderous, while I hold back my laughter.

"What did you say your name was, again?" Dean asked Jesse.

"Dude, what the hell?" Sam asked Dean as we leave Jesse's house. "I had a hunch. I went with it." Dean said. "You risked my ass on a hunch?" Sam asked him, angrily. "You're fine." Dean said, not worried, and I roll my eyes. "Besides, now we know who's turning this town into Willy Wonka's worst nightmare." I said. "The kid." Sam said and he stops and so does me and Dean.

"Yeah. Everything Jesse believes comes true. He thinks the tooth fairy looks like Belushi, uh, joy buzzers really shock people, boom, that's what happens." Dean said. "Yeah, but convince him the joy buzzers don't actually work, and they go from killing machines back into crap toys." Sam said. "He probably doesn't even know he's doing it." I said and we look back at the house.

The curtains on an upstairs window part and Jesse looks out at us and Dean waves. "How is he doing it?" Dean asked as we walk away.

Back at the motel, I was sitting on a bed, watching TV, while Dean was reading some book. Sam had just left to go do some research on Jesse, so it was just me and Dean here. I flipped through the channels until I found this channel that played Dr. Sexy, MD. I smiled and left it on as I continued to watch it.

Dean raises his head to the TV just as a nurse grabs the collar of the doctor's white coat. "Please, doctor, it has to be you. You have to save this boy. If you don't, then..." She said, in a exaggerated dramatic manner. "You'll what?" The doctor asked, also dramatic. "I'll quit this job." She said. 

"Oh, God, you gotta be kidding me." Dean grumbles. "What? Have to keep up with my stories." I said. "You are such a girl." Dean said. "Well, last I checked...I am a girl." I said. “Yeah, but you’re like a badass hunter girl. When did you become a rom-com girl?” Dean asked. “I don’t know. When did you become a cartoon smut girl?” I asked.

“It’s called anime and it’s an art form.” Dean said, defensively. I rolled my eyes and turn back to the TV. “Hey, don’t knock it till you try it.” He said. “I could say the same to you.” I replied, pointing the remote towards the TV.

Dean look at it and scoffs. “You can’t be serious.” He said, annoyed. “I have the remote, I pick the show, and you shut your cakehole.” I said, tapping his nose with the remote.  

Dean shakes his head and begins watching Dr. Sexy with me, annoyed. After a couple scenes, the doctor and the nurse started making out in the on-call room and Dean sits forward, completely riveted. "Alright, now we're talking." He said and I laugh. "Of course, that would get your attention I laughed and Dean turns his head to me.

"Well, you didn't say there was sex scenes." He said, a bit of a smirk on his lips. "My God, you are the horniest man I've ever met." I said and Dean looks over at me, a mischievous grin on his face. "And it's never gonna change, princess." Dean said and I scoff out a laugh. "I would hope not, otherwise you'd explode." I said.

At that moment, Sam walks in and I turn the TV off. "So, dug up what I could on Jesse Turner. It's not much. Uh, B student, won last year's Pinewood Derby. But get this. Jesse was adopted. His birth records are sealed." Sam explained as he shuts the door behind him.

"So you unsealed them, and?" Dean asked. "There's no father listed, but Jesse's biological mom is named Julia Wright. She lives in Elk Creek, on the other side of the state." Sam said and Dean and I share a look. "Sounds like a road trip." I said and we get up and head out.

A sign reading "NO TRESPASSING" hangs on the gate of a rusty, overgrown fence. Deqn pushes the gate open and walks through, Sam and I right behind. We walk around to the front door, which has two deadbolts, and Dean rings the doorbell. Then a voice, probably Julia, speaks through the door without opening 

"Whatever you're selling, I'm not interested." She said and Dean looks at us for a moment. "We're not salesmen. Agents Page, Lee and Plant, FBI." Dean said as we pull out our badges and hold them up to the peephole. "Put your badge in the slot. Your partners', too." Julia said and Dean does as she asked.

There was a pause before we head the locks clatter and the door opens, revealing a woman with shoulder length blonde hair and she looked tired and frazzled. "What do you want?" Julia asked as she hands out badges back.

"Um..." Sam said as we put our badges away. "We just had a few questions. About your son." Sam said. "I don't have a son." Julia said. "He was born March twenty-ninth, nineteen ninety-eight, in Omaha." Sam said and Julia looks up, her face expressionless. "You put him up for adoption?" Sam said and Julia sighs.

"What about him?" she asked. "We were just wondering, um, was it...was it a normal pregnancy?" I asked and she says nothing. "Was there anything strange?" Dean asked then Julia slams the door.

"Stay away from me!" she shouts. "Mrs. Wright, wait!" Dean said then he pushes the door open and we follow Julia inside. She runs to the kitchen and shuts the door, but Dean pushes the door open. "We just want to talk!" Dean said as Julia grabs a canister of table salt, wrenches it open, and tosses the contents at us. She stares at us as if she expected something to happen to us.

"You're not demons?" She asked us. "How do you know about demons?" I asked her and she looks down at the floor.

Later, Julia sits at the table with a cup of tea, the boys and I sit across from her. She sets the cup on a saucer and folds her arms. "I was possessed. A demon took control of my body, and I hurt people. I killed people." she said. "That, that wasn't you." Sam said. "But I was there. I heard a woman beg for mercy. I...felt a young girl's blood drip down my hands." Julia said, her voice shaking.

"That's how you knew about the salt." Dean said. "Yeah, I picked up tricks. It was in my head for months." Julia said. "How many months?" I asked her. "Nine." she replied. "So your son..." Sam said, realizing, and Julia nods. "Yeah, the whole time. The pregnancy, birth—all of it. I was possessed. The night the baby was born, I was alone. And the pain was—the pain was overwhelming. I, I screamed, and it came out a laugh, because the demon was happy. It used my body to give birth to a child. When it was over, something changed. Maybe the—the demon was tired or if the pain helped me fight it, but...Somehow, I took control. And the demon wailed inside me. It pounded against my skull. I thought my head was gonna explode. But I knew. I knew what I had to do. And when I was alone with the baby...A part of me...part of me wanted to kill it." Julia explains then she begins to cry.

"But, God help me, I couldn't do that. So, I put it up for adoption, and I ran." She said. "Who was the father?" Dean asked her. "I was a virgin." Julia said and the boys and I look at each other, worried.

"Have you seen my son? Is he human?" She asked us. "His name's Jesse. He lives in, uh, Alliance. He's a good kid." I said and Julia nods.

"So, now what?" Sam asked as we leave her house. "We need help." Dean said as he pulls out his phone.

Sometime later, we enter the motel room and look up to see Castiel waiting for us. "I take it you got our message." Sam said as he sits at the table and Dean closes the door. "It's lucky you found the boy." Castiel said. "Oh, yeah, real lucky." Dean said, sarcastically.

"What do we do with him?" I asked Castiel. "Kill him." he said, plainly, and we all stop and stare at him, shocked. "Cas." Dean mutters. "This child is half demon and half human, but it's far more powerful than either. Other cultures call this hybrid cambion or katako. You know him as the antichrist." Castiel said and he sits at the table, where a fart noise sounds out. It continues as poor Cas shifts positions.

"That wasn't me." Castiel said as he pulls out a whoopee cushion. "Who put that there?" Dean asked and I elbow his side while Cas tosses the whoopee cushion aside.

"Anyway, I don't get it. Jesse is the devil's son?" Sam asked and Cas sighs. "No, of course not. Your Bible gets more wrong than it does right. The antichrist is not Lucifer's child. It's just demon spawn. But it is one of the devil's greatest weapons in the war against heaven." he said.

"Well, if Jesse's a demonic howitzer, then what the hell's he doing in Nebraska?" I asked. "The demons lost him. They can't find him. But they're looking." Castiel explains. "And they lost him because?" Dean asked. "Because of the child's power. It hides him from both angels and demons. For now." Castiel said.

"So he's got, like, a force field around him. Well, that's great. Problem solved." Dean said. "With Lucifer risen, this child grows strong. Soon, he will do more than just make a few toys come to life—something that will draw the demons to him. The demons will find this child. Lucifer will twist this boy to his purpose. And then, with a word, this child will destroy the Host of Heaven." Castiel explains.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. You're saying that—that Jesse's gonna nuke the angels?" I asked him and Cas nods. "We cannot allow that to happen." said Castiel.  "Wait." Sam said, standing up. "We're the good guys. We—we don't just—kill children." Sam said. "A year ago, you would have done whatever it took to win this war." Castiel growls at Sam. "Things change." Sam said as Dean and I step forward, DwN puts a hand on Sam's arm and he and I put ourselves between Sam and Castiel.

"Okay. Hey, look, we are not going to kill him. All right? But we can't leave Jesse here either. We know that. So...we take him to Bobby's. He'll know what to do." Dean said. "You'll kidnap him? What is going on in this town, it's what happens when this thing is happy. You cannot imagine what it will do if it's angry. Besides, how will you hold him? With a thought, he could be halfway around the world." Castiel said. "So we—" Dean started to say but I interrupt him.

"So we tell him the truth. You say Jesse's destined to go dark side—fine. But he hasn't yet." I said to Castiel. "Exactly! So if we lay it all out for him—what he is, the apocalypse, everything—he might make the right choice." Sam said and there was a long silence.

"You didn't. And I can't take that chance." Castiel said to him and Sam glares at him as Castiel vanishes. "Damn it." Sam sighs.

We make our way to Jesse's house and kick in the front door to see Jesse standing there, staring at us. "Was there a guy here? In a trench coat?" Dean asked him and Jesse points at the floor: there is an action figure wearing Castiel's suit and trench coat and holding a silver knife.

Dean kneels to pick him up and looks up at me and Sam, then Jesse. He then sets the Castiel action figure on the mantelpiece as Jesse sits on the couch, Sam on a chair and I sit next to Jesse.

"Was he your friend?" Jesse asked, nodding to the Castiel action figure. "Him? No." Dean said. "I did that. But how did I do that?" Jesse asked. "You're a superhero." Dean said and Jesse looks up at him. "I am?" he asked. "Yeah. Yeah. I mean, who else could turn someone into a toy? You're Superman—minus the cape and the go-go boots. See, my—my partners and I, we work for a secret government agency. It's our job to find kids with special powers. In fact, we're here to take you to a hidden base in South Dakota, where you'll be trained to fight evil." Dean said and Jesse seemed to perk up at this.

"Like the X-Men?" He asked. "Exactly like the X-Men." Dean chuckles. "In fact, the, uh, guy we're taking you to—he's even in a wheelchair. You'll be a hero. You'll save lives. You'll get the girl. Sounds like fun, right?" Dean asked him until he is flung against the wall.

"They're lying to you." a female voice said and Sam and I turn and stand up to see Julia walking in, she was possessed. The demon flings us against the wall with Dean. Jesse stands up.

"Stay right there, dreamboat. Can't hurt you. Orders. You, on the other hand? Hurting you's encouraged." The demon said and she flicks her wrist and slams Dean against the opposite wall, then back. "Leave him alone!" Jesse yells and the Demon leans down to Jesse, speaking sweetly.

"Jesse. You're beautiful. You have your father's eyes." She said. "Who are you?" Jesse asked. "I'm your mother." The demon said. "No, you're not." Jesse spat. "Mm-hm. You're half human...half one of us." she said. "She means demons, Jesse!" I yelled and the demon straightens and holds up a hand clenched into a fist, making me groan in pain.

The Demon leans back down to Jesse. "Those people you call your parents—they lied to you, too. You're not theirs—not really." she said. "My mom and dad love me." Jesse growls, defensively. "Do they? Is—is that why they leave you alone all day? Because they love you so much? These people—these imposters—they told you that the tooth fairy was real and that your toys could hurt you and a hundred other things that aren't true. They love you so much, they made your whole life a lie. Look into your heart, Jesse. You've always known you weren't theirs. You've always known you were different. Everyone has lied to you. They're not FBI agents. And you're not a superhero." the demon said.

"Then what am I?" Jesse asked. "You're powerful. You can have anything you want. You can do anything you want." the demon said to him. "Don't listen to her, Jesse!" Dean yells and the demons holds up a hand and Dean groans.

"They treated you like a child. Nobody trusted you. Everybody's lied to you. Doesn't that make you angry?" The demon asked Jesse as she turns back to him and Jesse clenches his fist, the room begins to rattle. The Demon looks up, exultant, and the fire flares up and the lights flicker.

"See? It does make you angry. But I'm telling you the truth, Jesse." the demon said as things begin to shatter. "Wouldn't it be better if there were no lies? Come with me and you can wash it all clean. Start over. Imagine that—a world without lies." the demon said.

"She's right. We lied to you." Sam said and the Demon looks at Sam, eyes black. "But I'll tell you the truth." Sam said and the demon raises a fist and Sam struggles to speak. "I just want...to tell..." Sam gasps. 

"Stop it." Jesse said and Sam drops to the floor, released, and he gasps in breath. "I want to hear what he has to say." Jesse said to the Demon. "You're stronger than I thought." the demon said, surprised, as Sam stands up.

"We lied to you. And I'm sorry. So here's the truth. I'm Sam Winchester. That's my brother, Dean, and my friend (y/n) (l/n). W-we hunt monsters." Sam said. "Except when you are the monster. Right, Sammy?" the demon sneered but Sam ignores her. "And that woman right there, her name is Julia. She's your mother. But the thing inside of her, the thing that you're talking to—it's a demon." Sam said.

"A demon?" Jesse asked. "He's done nothing but lie to you since the moment you met him. Don't listen to him. Punish him." the demon growled and Jesse turns to her. "Sit down and shut up." Jesse demanded and a chair scoots up behind the Demon, who is forced into it, silent. She struggles to speak.

"There's, uh, kind of a...a war between angels and demons, and...you're a part of it." Sam goes to explain. "I'm just a kid." Jesse said. "You can go with her if you want. I can't stop you. No one can. But if you do...millions of people will die." Sam said. "She said I was half demon. Is that true?" Jesse asked. "Yes. But you're half human, too. You can do the right thing. You've got choices, Jesse. But if you make the wrong ones, it'll haunt you for the rest of your life." Sam said.

"Why are you telling me this?!" Jesse asked him, upset. "Because I have to believe someone can make the right choice, even if I couldn't." Sam said and Jesse thinks about this. He clenches his fist and looks at the Demon. "Get out of her." Jesse demands and the chair flies back against the wall.

Black smoke pours out of Julia's mouth and vanishes up the chimney. Then Dean and I drop to the ground, panting. "How did you do that?" I asked him. "I just did." Jesse said, shrugging. "Kid...you're awesome." Dean said and Jesse smiled a bit before he looks over at Julia, slumped in the chair.

"Is she gonna be all right?" he asked and Dean goes to look at her. "Eventually." he said then he leans down and picks up the Castiel action figure, which fell down at some point. "Look, uh, truth is, he's kind of a buddy of mine. Is there any way you could turn him back?" Dean asked Jesse. "He tried to kill me." Jesse said. "Right. Uh. But he's a—he's a good guy. He was just confused." Dean said but Jesse says nothing.

"Okay. It's been a long night. We'll...talk about it later." Dean said and he puts the Castiel action figure back on the mantel. "What now?" Jesse asked and Dean looks at me and Sam. "Now we take you someplace safe, get you trained up. You'd be handy in a fight, kid." Dean replied.

"What if I don't want to fight?" Jesse asked and I frown. "Jesse." I said, softly, and I come forward to sit in front of him. "You're powerful. More powerful than...pretty much anything we've ever seen. That makes you—"

"A freak." Jesse said, interrupting me. "To some people, maybe. But not to us. See, we're kind of freaks ourselves." I said as I look over at a side table and made it float. Jesse turns to look and sees it rising in the air. "You have powers too?" Jesse asked me as he turns to look back at me, a bit of a smile on his face, and I nod. "I was infected with demon's blood, so it isn't as strong as your powers." I said as set the table down.

Jesse stares at me then frowns. "I can't stay here, can I?" he asked. "No. The demons know where you are, and more will be coming." Dean said. "I won't go without my mom and dad." Jesse said. "There's nothing more important than family. We get that. And if you really want to take them with you, we'll back your play. But you got to understand—it's gonna be dangerous for them, too." Sam said.

"What do you mean?" Jesse asked. "Our dad...he would take us with him wherever he went." Dean said, gesturing between him and Sam. "Where is he now?" Jesse asked. "Dead. A demon killed him." Sam said and Jesse turns to me. "What about you?" He asked me. "My dad and their dad were partners. So, yes, I was on the same boat as them." I said. "Where's your dad?" He asked me. "He died as well. A demon gave him cancer." I said and Jesse looks down, sad.

"Look, Jesse...once you're in this fight..." Dean said as he leans down to Jesse. "You're in it till the end, win or lose." Dean said. "What should I do?" Jesse asked us, looking between the three of us. "We can't tell you. It's your choice. It's not fair. I know." I said and Jesse looks down.

"Can I go see my parents? I, I need to...say goodbye." he said. "Sure." Dean said and Jesse gets up and climbs the stairs.

Minutes pass on and Sam examines the Castiel action figure and puts him back on the mantel. "He's been up there a long time." I noted and we head upstairs and go to Jesse's room, only to find it empty.

"He's gone." a voice said, behind us. We turn to see Castiel standing behind us. "Where?" Sam asked. "I don't know. Jesse put everyone in town back to normal—the ones still alive. Then he vanished." Castiel said and I noticed a note on Jesse's bed. "Hey." I said as I go to pick it up and read it, my heat breaking for this kid.

"What does it say?" Dean asked me. "That he had to leave to keep his parents safe, that he loves them, and he's sorry." I said, softly. "How do we find him?" Dean asked. "With the boy's powers, we can't. Not unless he wants to be found." Castiel said.

"You think Jesse's gonna be okay?" Dean asked me and Sam as we drive down the road. "I hope so." I said, letting out a deep sigh. "Yeah, me too." Sam said. "You know, we destroyed that kid's life by telling him the truth." Dean said. "We didn't have a choice, Dean." Sam said.

"Yeah. You know, I'm starting to get why parents lie to their kids. You want them to believe that the worst thing out there is mixing Pop Rocks and Coke—protect them from the real evil. You want them going to bed feeling safe. If that means lying to them, so be it. The more I think about it...the more I wish Dad had lied to us." Dean said. "Yeah, me too." Sam said. "Yeah..." I muttered and I look out the window, at the night sky, hoping against hope that wherever Jesse is, he is safe and sound.

@rach5ive @kitsun369 @itzabbyxx @cevans-winchester @ellie-andthemachine

[randomperson99sworld]

Ruffled Feathers 🪶

~ Part 18 ~

Summary: Julia Morgan, Bobby's niece, has always been a royal thorn in Dean Winchesters ass since the day they met 1 year ago at Bobby's memorial. She wants to be a hunter, he thinks she's a dumb kid playing dress up. Will she always be seen as an unwanted load in Dean's eyes or will he see something more?

Pairing: Dean x OC

Warnings: Age gap, language, sexual themes (used lightly), physical abuse (Not by Dean).

Word Count: 815

A/N: Are you guys liking the story so far? Keep in mind this is a slow burn 🔥 Stated as always, this story is cross posted on my Wattpad. Happy reading! ♥️

It was well past midnight, and the bunker was eerily quiet except for the soft sound of pages turning. Sam sat hunched over his laptop, eyes strained from hours of research. Across from him, Julia absentmindedly flipped through one of Bobby's old journals, but her focus wasn't on the page. She kept glancing at the door, waiting for Dean.

Sam noticed her fidgeting and sighed. "He'll be fine, Julia. You know Dean."

Julia gave a half-hearted smile, but her worry was clear. "I know, but he's been gone for hours. You don't just walk into somewhere like that and stroll out like it's no big deal."

Sam leaned back in his chair, stretching. "True, but if anyone can handle it, it's Dean."

Just then, the heavy sound of the bunker door creaked open. Julia shot up from her seat, her heart pounding. Dean stumbled in, exhausted, his clothes smeared with dirt and blood. He looked like he'd been through hell and back.

"Dean!" Julia gasped, rushing to him. Without thinking, she wrapped her arms around him, relief washing over her. "You're alive," she whispered against his chest, her voice betraying the worry she had been holding in.

Dean froze for a split second, startled by the sudden hug. He wasn't used to this kind of reaction, especially from her. But then, something in him softened, and he awkwardly wrapped his arms around her, patting her back. "Whoa, easy there, Jules. I'm still in one piece."

Julia pulled back slightly, her eyes scanning his face, taking in every scrape and bruise. "Barely," she muttered. "You look like crap."

Dean gave a tired smirk. "Good to see you, too."

She rolled her eyes, stepping back and folding her arms. "You seriously need to stop making a habit out of looking like death warmed over. It's not a good look."

Dean snorted, shrugging off his jacket. "Trust me, this is nothing."

Sam, who had been watching the exchange with a smirk, finally stood up. "So, what happened?"

Dean took a deep breath, feeling the weight of everything that had transpired. He glanced at the both of them, his eyes lingering on Julia, who still looked like she was trying to figure out if he was really okay.

"Well, I got what I went for," Dean said, his voice rough with exhaustion. "The Mark of Cain."

Sam's face fell, his eyes widening. "Wait—what?"

Dean lifted his sleeve, revealing the angry, glowing Mark branded into his skin. "Yeah. Turns out, the First Blade's useless without this bad boy. Cain said I needed it to kill Abaddon."

Julia's eyes locked on the Mark, her stomach sinking. "Dean... that thing looks... wrong."

Dean rubbed his arm, the throbbing pain a constant reminder of the price he was willing to pay. "Yeah, it feels wrong, too. But we don't have a choice. If we want to take down Abaddon, I need the Blade."

Sam shook his head, clearly troubled. "And where is the Blade?"

Dean sighed, running a hand through his hair. "That's the fun part. Cain tossed it into the deepest part of the ocean. Crowley's on the hunt for it now. But something tells me this isn't gonna be easy."

Julia furrowed her brow, worry flashing across her face. "You trust Crowley to find it?"

Dean scoffed. "Hell no. But we're running out of options."

The room fell silent for a moment as the gravity of the situation set in. Sam looked at Dean with a mix of concern and frustration. "So, you're just going to bear the Mark? And hope this doesn't backfire?"

Dean's eyes darkened, and he glanced at the glowing red Mark again. "I don't like it either, Sammy. But right now, it's the only shot we've got."

Julia stepped forward, her expression softening just a bit. "You're not doing this alone, Dean. We're all in this together."

Dean gave her a tired smile, a bit of that usual banter flickering back. "What, you think I need backup now? I'm fine, Jules. I always am."

Julia raised an eyebrow, folding her arms. "Sure, because showing up looking like you got hit by a truck screams 'fine'."

Dean chuckled, shaking his head. "You're impossible."

She smirked, but there was still a glint of worry in her eyes. "You wouldn't last two days without us."

Sam, clearly still uneasy about the Mark, gave a small nod. "We'll figure it out. Just... don't do anything reckless."

Dean gave a mock salute. "Reckless? Me? Never."

Despite the heaviness of the situation, the tension between them all seemed to ease, if only for a moment. But as Dean looked down at the Mark on his arm, the weight of what was coming pressed down on him again. He'd need more than just the Blade to stop Abaddon. He'd need all the help he could get—whether he wanted it or not.

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

once again, its been one hell of a wednesday

time to unwind with a weekly tag game!

thanks for tagging me @lingy910y @juliakayyy @energievie and @jrooc

name: gigi

age: 24

star sign: full time virgo

first language: english

second language: lol i wish, my girlfriend has been trying to teach me korean the whole time we've been together and cant comprehend that my brain is just simply not wired to learn language

favorite lip product: aquaphor 🥰 and the nars laguna lipstick it was literally made for pale autumns

the best food dish you can make without a recipe? honestly most things, even when its new i like to skim and freestyle, most often i make eggs in hell and various soups, stews and stocks

if you drink tea, what kind? the only tea i drink is bottled cold green tea, and ginger in hot water when im sick

if you drink coffee, what roast do you usually get? light roast <3

favorite thing to watch on youtube right now: music videos! also watching a lot of book binding tutorials and general quiet crafting videos

favorite thing to watch on youtube in 2012: the dame herself ms. jenna marbles and honestly up until she left it would be the same answer

favorite item of clothing right now: i have a few very very cozy sweaters that have been in rotation over the last few weeks, but i am very excited to get back to soft loose blouses and pants

favorite item of clothing in 2012: a very cool 70's jean jacket that i still own and wear!

fandom

three movies you recommend: Chungking Express, jennifers body, in bruges

your favorite concert: tyler childers at radio city music hall, the queen of dancehall herself sister nancy and tune yards

have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion? not a single opinion, we can agree to disagree on things but i have unfollowed people for consistantly being really negative about everyone other than their favorite characters and just overall being a bummer

have you ever left a fandom because of the fans? Nope! every fandom I've been apart of has had really lovely people, but by far shameless is the nicest which feels a little ironic

the best tv show you watched last year: Beef by far, I don't think Ive ever resonated with a piece of media with such raw emotion (also the bear and succession but yall already knew that)

do you have a fancasting you just can’t let go of? Im not really apart of the harry potter fandom at all but sometimes marauder fancasts come on my fyp and theyre all really fun

a ship you’ve abandoned: destiel a little, i still love them that brain rot (damage) cant be undone but i rewatched supernatural last year and like, Dean is so genuinely unkind to him most of the time (/nuanced)

on a scale of 1-10 how willing are you to share your ao3 history? i mean, with who?

do you have a fandom tattoo? no tattoos

what fandom do you wish was bigger? none come to mind

has a finale ever ruined a show for you? no honestly im pretty okay with all of them, but i never watched any of the big ones that people hate

have you…

swam in an ocean? yes! I was a jr lifeguard, swimmer and water polo player in highschool, i am the safest person to visit the beach with

been vegan/vegetarian? I was vegan for three years but when i moved back home during covid i couldnt really keep it up while eating dinner with my family every night and now im very plant based but not vegan or veg

gone skinny dipping? many times lol

gone skiing? yes but i prefer snowboarding

been to a convention? only work related design conventions

tagging from my notes: @mickeysgaymom @rainbowbri @anonymous-galager @gallawitchxx @iansw0rld @mybrainismelted

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I know this is a twst blog but as someone who reads and loves Nevermore, I'm glad youre reading it! How're you liking it so far? (also the idea of the tweels running the school as headmasters *shudders*)

[Referencing this post!]

I’ve been really enjoying Nevermore Academy so far ^^ The challenges the students have tackled are so interesting and keep me really invested in keeping up with the story. I also like the mystery that comes with figuring out each student’s special powers and their pasts. The artwork, of course, is also gorgeous (I said this already in my original post, but it bears repeating ✨), I love seeing how the panels flow so seamlessly from one to the next. I admire how the author were able to integrate elements of Poe to make something entirely their own, not make each scene a 1:1 parallel of something that actually unfolded in Poe’s works.

I’m not a biggest fan of some of the side characters (especially Ada and Pluto; the former is kind of an annoying kiss-up and the latter is just kind of… there 😂). However, I do enjoy most of the cast, and I think the two leading ladies, Lenore and Annabel Lee, are solid protagonists. Prospero is fun for just how done he is with Ada and how determined he is to achieve his goals—but I have to say Merry and Mourn, the shady twin deans, are my overall favorites. Is it any surprise—

OkAY but the Leech brothers as headmasters of NRC… That would be… ill-advised at best, Actual Hell at worst 💀 I think Jade would try to maintain some semblance of decorum, but then not actually intervene whenever trouble breaks out because it’s much more funny to observe than to stop the trouble. Meanwhile, Floyd’s part of the trouble or actively causing some kind of disruption wherever he goes (and no one can really stop him because he now has the authority of headmaster). vjsbdknelekss It’d be a pretty funky situation, that’s for sure 😌

[incesthemes]

final thoughts: supernatural season 13

weird how i have a headache once again. it's like a ritual now. finish a season gain a headache. anyway let's see. a much better season than both 11 and 12 i think. but goddamn that fucking apocalypse world. i can already tell most of this post is going to be me complaining about the apocalypse world. sorry in advance.

so i'm pleasantly surprised that i only hated a sparse few episodes, actually. most of the worse episodes were either mediocre or cringe, and honestly i can accept that. there was some decent stuff here, and i'll give credit where it's due.

i think the season was at its best when lucifer and the apocalypse world weren't in any way involved. unfortunately there were very few episodes entirely absent of both (sad!), but at least there were plenty of scenes that avoided both subjects. i'm clinging to those with gusto.

lucifer... well it's the same issues i've had with him since season 7. i don't like the total rewrite of his character, and i especially don't enjoy his flimsy, superficial motivations, if he ever has motivations to begin with. i'm extremely bored of villains who want evil for evil's sake, power for power's sake. it's tired, it's hackneyed, it's entirely uninteresting. kripke's lucifer was an interesting take on the devil, with his understated and quiet arrogance: you almost wanted to believe him and sympathize with his position. he was compelling and new. but once kripke left the scene, lucifer just feels... like mark pellegrino is trying to recreate crowley from good omens, basically.

the petulant, bratty attitude lacks synergy with his earlier portrayal, and he loses a true purpose in the show. he goes from trying to fulfill one half of a destiny that parallels the relationship between sam and dean to... i don't even know, honestly. first he's a whacky and silly hallucination, then he wants daddy to apologize to him (and throws a temper tantrum to get it), then he wants... to destroy the world? i guess? and then he wants to rule the world, or something, because why not. there's barely anything reminiscent of his original purpose in the show, and hardly anything left of his original personality and character. it's really disappointing to see him disintegrate from something truly compelling to a flat, one-dimensional cardboard cutout of Evil Cartoon Villain. he's just not interesting anymore, i guess unless you really like crowley good omens and have always wanted to see him in supernatural instead. no offense intended to crowley good omens, for the record. he's just lovely in his original series, playing the role he was created for.

anyway what the fuck happened with lucifer in heaven anyway? like i keep feeling i straight-up missed a scene, or an episode. anael walked away from lucifer and then....? and then lucifer is just gone, i guess? like seriously did miss something? what happened between bring 'em back alive and funeralia???? how did they get lucifer out of heaven???? is that EVER explained????

anyway (x2) i guess i'll complain about the apocalypse world again because i still hate it. if there are 10000 apocalypse world haters i'm one of them. if there are 100 apocalypse world haters i'm one of them. if there's 1 apocalypse world hater that's me. if there's 0 apocalypse world haters i'm dead. and so on and so forth. i'm not above being petty.

i've mostly hashed out my thoughts on this world before so i won't bore anyone with the details, but i really really hate how they continued down this path in season 13. there are too many obvious narrative ploys to excuse the actions that sam, dean, and mary have taken. it's like a redemption arc for them without them ever having to do anything to "earn" that redemption. its entire existence screams "well without them doing these horrible things, everything would have been much worse! so actually it's okay!" and i can't stand that level of flippant, tone-deaf handwaving. it's like they can't bear the thought of their protagonists being anything less than morally good, and that gets under my skin and pisses me off like nothing else.

and i think this is particularly bad for mary. the thing season 12 did really well was making her a deeply flawed individual, someone who makes mistakes and is selfish and lost and just trying to make the best decisions with a shit hand and who suffers great losses because the game was rigged against her. she hurts her kids because of her choices, both in the past and in the present, and the show doesn't make an attempt to excuse her but rather encourages the audience to sympathize with her unique situation and understand that this is not and never was a black-and-white problem. there are no "good people" because everyone makes choices that harm others. this is an important theme rooted in the foundation of the show, and it's important to me.

which is why it infuriates me that the branching-off point in the apocalypse world is that mary didn't make the deal with azazel. because all that does is excuse the harm he inflicted on her kids. "the alternative was worse!" to such an extreme that the only thing the audience can do is justify mary's actions and absolve her of her sins. that's not fair to her, and it portrays her in exactly the opposite light that season 12 did, by forcing her into a pure and morally righteous role as the woman who made the Right Choice, who saved the world because of her small sacrifice. it's not fair! they took a complex female character and flattened her so badly into a Good Person simply by transforming her most destructive, selfish decision into the morally good one. it just feels like the writers couldn't handle the agony of writing a female character who wasn't either 100% good or 100% evil, and god it pisses me off. i'm seriously so disappointed in this direction, and the echoes of that direction soured the entirety of season 13 for me. because not only was mary rewritten into the morally upstanding mother, she was also reduced and limited in her narrative role. she took a major backseat this season, and what she was allowed to do was wholly motherly and nurturing. she took care of jack, she... took care of jack, she insisted that the rest of the resistance camp return to the real world with them, she... well damn, she took really good care of jack! none of the reckless, short-sighted characterization of season 12 remains, all her ruthlessness was drained, all of her power and competence ignored, and she was left to a disappointing support role as jack's moral compass, a nurturing mother to help jack develop. i'm SO angry about this, if you can't tell. SO angry about it.

i really, really, really am not someone to say that a character "deserved better" because for one that's a stupid and pointless argument to get into and i find most commentary in that vein to be both entitled and advocating for wildly OOC behavior in pursuit of content that destroys narrative integrity and eliminates drama, plot, and conflict. but mary... god i'm just so disappointed with how they used her this season. they did such great work with her last season. and this season they flattened her into Mother. and i'm so unhappy with it. If You Can't Tell.

let's see. more positive comments: i like how rowena is developing. she still falls firmly into the camp of side characters who are weirdly shallow for the roles they occupy because this show is chronically incapable of crafting good side characters, BUT now that she's getting some on-screen developments there's more meat on her bones, and i like what she's doing. that said, i really disagree with the complete about-face she made from season 12 to 13. seriously what's with the difference in characterizations between 12 and 13...? i'm so so confused here. i don't understand why rowena would ever be so broken up about crowley dying considering she tried to kill him so many times—maybe whoever decided that was the same person who decided mary had to be Mother and nothing else. mother characters have to be Mother and Mother trumps all other facets of their personality, maybe? whatever it is, i'm so annoyed by it and i hope to god this gets better in season 14. please lord i can't keep doing this. i need my women problematic, fucked up, and irredeemable. please.

jack, i'll talk about jack briefly because i'm getting sleepy and holy shit i want to go to bed lmao. i really love his character, i think he's appropriately nuanced and it's very refreshing. i suppose it's because he's a main character, and supernatural handles its main characters far better than the side characters (my issues with cas and his narrative development notwithstanding). he creates so much natural conflict, and i love how he plays off of sam and dean in really organic and interesting ways. i love how he helps to continue dean's arc from season 6 regarding his ability to be a father, and i love how both sam and dean project themselves so heavily onto him and respond to him in drastically different ways according to that perception. it's really complex and layered, which results in fantastic interactions and well-written drama that i greatly appreciate. even jack's interactions with lucifer, as much as i dislike lucifer's character, managed to be engaging and compelling. i love how much everyone is fumbling through all of this (this being parenthood) throughout the season, and how none of them really take to it naturally and those bonds have to form out of mistakes and forgiveness. it feels really satisfying and i'm so, so happy with how it's panned out.

i've seen posts floating around that dean wasn't jack's father, at least not to the extent sam and cas were, but i wholeheartedly disagree and i think dean plays a really vital role in this parenting dynamic, and he's willing to step up in ways both sam and cas hesitate to. for better and for worse, of course. and i just adore that jack so earnestly seeks dean's approval, and that makes dean giving that approval that much sweeter and cathartic. dean was able to give jack what he never got from john, in a big way. or at least dean didn't get it until john was literally on his death bed. it's a lot of character development for dean, and i loved seeing that. and i love that it continued through the season, and dean was able to heal himself through jack and find the father inside of him that can break the cycle of abuse that he inevitably perpetuated through ben. like seriously, incredible character arc. i'm obsessed with it.

i've barely talked about sam's parenting jack because i really don't have much to say. like he did so well, even when he messed up, in reaching out to jack and trying so hard to be the father he never had. he's open and honest about his intentions, his goals, his love, and his care. even though he's not great at communicating, he tries, and that eventually conveys in a way jack understands and appreciates. it's a totally new side to sam that i was anticipating because of tumblr, but that i wouldn't have expected going in blind. he's not exactly cut out for domesticity—really he sucks at it. so seeing him forge himself through dogged effort into a father was really rewarding, and i think his earnest devotion to that cause was what carried him to success there. he's strong-willed and he proved that here, and it's just really heart-warming to see him interact with jack and take care of him the best he knows how to, all the while actively striving to learn better. it's awesome.

i know dean is possessed by an archangel at the moment but i really am hoping for some nice domestic co-parenting wincest moments next season. i need it to live, i think <3

i think this is probably long enough, and also my headache is getting worse because it wants me to sleep 💔 so i'll end this here and start my season 13 detox :) i can't believe i only have 40 episodes left of this show. it feels so unreal, and it actually makes me want to skip the detox and keep going, but i know i'll regret that decision so i'll be diligent and read my wincest porn to cope with bad writing.

[winchesterszvonecek]

I See Red 18+

Chapter 5 - Wendigo: 1 - Cat Winchester: 0

Word Count: 9326

Warnings: attempted sexual assault

Series Masterlist | Full Masterlist

Most commonly known as the longest hiking trail in the world, the Appalachian Trail is home to all kinds of life. From racoons to bears. Bobcats to coyotes. Even Bigfoot, if you believe the tales, which if you’re a hunter, you don’t, as every hunter worth their salt knows Bigfoot is a hoax. 

But besides all that, the trail is said to be home to a lot more than simple wildlife that would run off at first glance of a human. Going back decades there’s been theories of more dark and evil beings living within the woods of that trail. The Bell Witch. Moon Eyed People. Wampus Beasts.

There’s tons of theories and stories out there about what lurks within those trees and snatches people away but in reality, most of the disappearances are chalked up to one creature and one creature only. 

A Wendigo. 

“Man, I hate Wendigo’s.” Dean grumbled exasperatedly, setting his coffee mug onto the table with a gentle clatter. “They’re too fast. They stink. And they’re always hauled up in some dark, damp place in the middle of nowhere.” 

“Wouldn’t you be if you looked like that?” Selina raised her eyebrow, Dean’s lips pursing a little as he nodded in response. 

Fair enough, she made a valid point, he thought to himself. But it didn’t make him anymore excited to catch a case involving one.

“God, we haven’t gone after a Wendigo since Black Water Ridge.” Sam exhaled, shuffling through the case file Selina had scattered over the table when she came bounding into the kitchen a few minutes ago. All excited and happy which wasn’t at all like her. 

“So does that mean you’re in?” Selina asked, glancing between her brothers and their angel as she all but shook with excitement over finding a case, as for the past week or so it seemed like everything monster related had dried up. 

“I guess.” Dean shrugged, picking up the map that was covered in Selina’s scrawley writing. “We’ll have to stock up on flares though. Or…” He dragged out, his tone a lot more chipper than it had been a few seconds ago. “…we could forget about those and use the flamethrower instead.” 

“No.” Selina, Sam and Castiel said in unison, making Dean sulk like a petulant child as he grumbled.

“What’s the point in having it, if you won’t let me use it?” 

“Dean, if you use that thing in the middle of the woods you’ll end up starting a forest fire.” Selina pointed out as she began gathering up her notes, even though it pained her to as she was desperate to use the flamethrower as well.

“Okay, Smokey the Bear.” Dean muttered, rolling his eyes and hearing the faint chuckle that left Sam’s lips in response. 

“Who’s Smokey the Bear?” Castiel asked, his brow deeply furrowed as he glanced between the three siblings, who simply stared at him with nothing but deadpan expressions.

They really needed to sit down and teach him about human things otherwise this living situation would become exhausting. 

“What?” 

“Nothing.” Selina shook her head, brushing off the angel's question as she turned to her brothers, her eyes a little widened in question. “So are we going or what?” 

“I’m up for it.” Sam replied, knowing better than most to disagree when she looked at them like that. “Might be nice to get out of the bunker for a while.” 

“Yeah, why not.” Dean agreed, throwing a piece of bacon into his mouth as he was outnumbered. Not that he’d have said no anyway, but still. “I’m always game for lighting monster asses on fire.” 

“You got the last Wendigo, this one is mine.” Selina hissed, squinting at him as she was still bitter he beat her to the last cannibalistic monster they faced. 

“Yeah, well we’ll see.” Dean muttered, sliding his plate aside just in time as Selina had been about to steal the bacon off it, her fingertips hitting the tabletop with a soft thud instead. “Nice try, Cat, but your sneaky ways don’t always work on me.” 

“Is that so?” Selina chuckled, to Dean’s surprise and he glanced to his side, just in time to see her pull a familiar looking wallet out of her pocket, holding it between her fingers with a smug look on her face. “I took this from your pocket when I first sat down but it’s nice to know you're so much more vigilant about your bacon than you are about your money.” 

“Give me that.” Dean spat annoyedly, snatching the wallet from her grasp and quickly checking to make sure all his cash was still there. And luckily for Selina, it was. He tucked it back into his pocket, the one furthest away from his sticky fingered sister before he shoved her lightly. “Just go get dressed. Unless you’re planning to hunt Wendigo’s in your pyjamas.” 

“Oh, if only I could.” Selina exhaled, standing up and bringing her case file with her, tucking it under her arm and downing the last of her lukewarm coffee. “Don’t take too long, I could do with getting out of this bunker for a while. I’m starting to get cabin fever.” 

“Yeah, we can tell.” Dean muttered, feeling the glare Selina fired his way before she spun on her heels and left the kitchen, heading towards her bedroom.

The bedroom she was now getting sick of seeing so much as ever since she’d gotten back from her ‘was it a date or was it not a date’ trip to Paris with Crowley, she’d practically been stuck inside of it. And not because her brothers had found out about her co-mingling with the King of Hell and locked her up, but because there’d been radio silence on hunter fm for the past week and a half which meant she had no reason to leave the confines of the bunker. 

But it wasn’t all bad, as ever since that spontaneous little trip Selina hadn’t been as lonely as she might have been. Not that her brothers and Castiel weren’t good company, but sometimes it was nice to talk to someone different for a change.

In this case that someone different just so happened to be Crowley, who Selina had been texting non-stop since the morning she woke up after Paris. It started with a thank you text, as she couldn’t remember if she’d actually thanked him after they’d gotten back as she had still been wrapping her head around the whole ordeal. 

After that it just kept going. They’d talk about all manner of things, from Selina asking how Hell was, not that she cared but what else would she ask him? To Crowley asking what she’d been up to since he last saw her, which unfortunately for her all she could say was nothing as she wasn’t about to tell him she’d been thinking about him. 

As she had been thinking about him. She’d been thinking about him a lot and not all of it had been safe for work if you catch her drift. She really needed to focus her attention on something else and hopefully this case would help with that.

Only as she sat in the backseat of the Impala on their way to the trail, Selina wasn’t exactly doing her best to try and get Crowley off her mind as she just so happened to be texting him. But he had texted her first, so what else could she do? Leave him on read?

Crowley: Heading anywhere exciting today or are you still moping around in that super secret hideout of yours?

Selina: I do not mope thank you very much

Crowley: My mistake, I’ll just ignore all those messages you sent about being so bored you wished the apocalypse would start up again then shall I?

Selina decided to ignore that message as well, she couldn't exactly deny it. 

Crowley: That’s what I thought… So, are we off anywhere fun today?

Selina: As a matter of fact we are. We’re on our way to The Appalachian Trail

Crowley: You're going hiking? Goodness, you really must be bored  

Selina: Not hiking, you idiot🙄 Hunting, you know, my job?

Crowley: And what a fun job you have 

Selina: Better than running Hell

Crowley: Darling, anything’s better than running Hell

“Who are you texting that has you smiling like that?” Dean called back, glancing towards Selina through the rearview mirror as she lifted her head from where it had been buried in her phone. 

Had she been smiling? Probably. And probably like a smitten idiot too as she never could stop herself from feeling all flustered anytime Crowley called her darling. She may have hated it in the past but now it was practically intoxicating for her and if he ever said it to her again, face to face, well she wouldn’t be held responsible for what may happen afterwards, that much she knew for sure.

“None of your business.” Selina fired back, holding her phone tight against her chest as Castiel had not been subtle in trying to peek at the screen. 

“Oh-ho, got yourself a secret boyfriend huh?” Dean teased, wiggling his eyebrows as he glanced over his shoulder, being met with a frown from his obviously annoyed sister. “Girlfriend?” 

“Keep your eyes on the road, Dean.” Selina muttered, rolling her own as she shook her head. “And get your mind out of the gutter. It’s bad enough in there.” 

It was Dean’s turn to frown, twisting himself properly in his seat as Selina repositioned herself, making sure no one could see her screen as they didn’t need to know who she was texting. It really was none of their business after all and she knew they wouldn’t like it, but she’d be damned if she stopped as with each message she and Crowley exchanged, the more hooked on each other they both seemed to get. 

Crowley: So, what big bad creature are we hunting this time? 

Selina: Signs are pointing to a Wendigo, but we’ll know more when we get there

Crowley: Well, be careful and all that. Wouldn’t want you ending up as Wendigo dinner and what have you 

Selina: What’s this? Concern? For me?

Crowley: Not at all. Just wouldn’t want to lose my texting buddy as who else would I complain to about Hell?

Selina: Yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that. We both know I’m growing on you😌

Crowley: Not a chance 

Selina: ☹️

There weren’t many more texts exchanged throughout the entire duration of the car ride to Appalachia, and there wouldn’t be once then got there either as the second they piled out of the car, Selina’s phone was hit with no signal.

“Do we even have a satellite phone?” Selina asked, the four of them gathering around the trunk of the car in preparation to head out into the wilderness.

“We have an angel.” Dean replied, gesturing to Castiel who didn’t look dressed for hiking in his suit and trench coat. “We don’t need a satellite phone. Or a GPS.” 

“Dean’s right.” Castiel nodded, gaining everyone’s attention. “I do have an excellent sense of direction.” 

“Alright.” Selina said reluctantly, still not liking the idea of being stuck out in the woods with no means of contact to the outside world. She lifted the interior flap of the trunk, propping it up with a shotgun and immediately slapping Dean’s hand when it went for the flamethrower, pointing at him sternly. “Don’t even think about it.” 

“God, you’re no fun.” Dean grumbled, moving towards the less exciting flare guns instead. He grabbed four of them, all of which were already loaded with one flare, but he passed out a few extras too. Just in case as Wendigo’s were extremely fast and they didn’t want to risk missing it. 

Moonlight cascaded over the dense forest as the four of them began their descent into the trees, having split into teams of two in order to cover more ground and have a better chance of finding the creature before it killed anyone else. 

Dean and Castiel paired off together and headed east, leaving Sam and Selina to go west. And it only took roughly a minute and a half of walking for Sam to break the eerie silence with a question he’d been dying to ask since the moment he first saw his sister smiling all lovestruck down at her phone. 

“So are you gonna tell me who you’ve been texting so much lately?” Sam glanced over his shoulder towards Selina, his faith in whether she’d tell him extremely lacking as he knew her better than anyone. But still, it couldn’t hurt to ask. 

“No.” Selina replied bluntly, following him over the fallen tree trunk that blocked their path and mumbling annoyedly to herself when her foot landed in a puddle on the other side of the trunk, splattering mud up her freshly washed jeans. “For God sake.” 

“Come on, it’s me. You know you can tell me anything.” Sam replied, ignoring Selina’s rambles about stains and hating the bunker’s laundry room because it smelt funky. He slowed down to fall in line with her, nudging her gently with his shoulder as he taunted her. “Do you have a crush?” 

“A crush?” Selina laughed out, her heart beginning to beat about a thousand miles per hour as she replied with nothing but sarcasm as per her usual attitude. “What are we? Schoolgirls at a slumber party? Would you like me to braid your hair after we finish talking about boys?” 

All Sam did was frown at her, his eyes rolling just a little as okay, maybe that question had been childish but still, it would explain his sisters odd behaviour. And by the way she was currently avoiding his gaze, he was fairly certain he’d hit the nail on the head with the conversational topic.

“Do you?” Sam asked again, this time more brotherly and less teasingly. 

“Maybe.” Selina mumbled under her breath, feeling embarrassed for even talking about this. “But it doesn’t matter… Nothing can ever happen between us anyway.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because I’m me and he’s him… We’re too… Different.” For lack of a better word, Selina thought to herself. “It would only end in disaster.” 

“Is he a hunter?” Sam asked curiously. “Or does he at least know about what’s out there?” 

“He’s not a hunter but he does know.” Selina replied, pulling a leaf off a nearby bush and beginning to rip at it anxiously. 

“Then why not give it a shot? I mean, how many chances do we get to be with someone who knows about the life?” 

“Because look at our track records, Sam. You’ve seen how our relationships go, even with people who know about it.” Selina pointed out, opening her palm and allowing the pieces of the ripped up leaf to fall to the ground. “They don’t end well. I mean, look at what happened with Dean and Lisa. People with the surname Winchester? They don’t get to have happy endings.” 

“But things are different now. More relaxed. Less… apocalyptic.” Sam said, finding that word to be the best one to describe the past few years. “So why not give it a go? Don’t you think you deserve a chance to be happy after everything you’ve been through? After…” 

“Shut up.” Selina breathed out, squinting into the darkness surrounding them as she could have sworn she heard something.

“What? I'm just…”

“I'm serious, do you hear that?” Selina whispered, coming to a sudden stop and halting Sam with her by grabbing onto his arm. 

The shrubbery around them rustled, the sound of twigs cracking echoing throughout the crisp air as the two of them spun on their heels, catching sight of a dark, shapely figure lurking amongst shadows of the trees.

“It’s watching us.” Selina said quietly, her mouth barely moving as she slowly wrapped one arm around her torso to grab her flare gun from the back of her waistband. “Let’s flank it. You go left. I’ll go right.” 

“Cat, wait!” Sam half-whispered, not caring if he was too loud as the Wendigo had already spotted them. But it was no use being loud as Selina was already jogging the opposite direction and nothing short of a leash around her neck would drag her back.

Slowly, Selina rounded a rather large tree, doubling back on herself in attempts to sneak up behind the creature. Only, it was a lot faster than she was and had already moved, which was evident by the faint snapping of twigs off in the distance behind her, making her spin on her heels with the gun held out in front of her. 

A fast moving shadow ran throughout the trees next to her, having her rotate ninety degrees to try and catch it. But it was gone in the blink of an eye, hidden by the darkness and partly making her wish she’d stayed with Sam. She sucked in a breath, continuing forward with her guard higher than ever as she pushed through some shrubbery. 

A dismembered hand on the ground caught her eye, dropping them in front of her where it lay amongst the leaves. A satellite phone was still held tightly between its fingers, the screen broken and covered in blood and dirt. Selina crouched down, using the barrel of her gun to flip the hand over, the small diamond shaped tattoo by the thumb confirming that it was one of the missing hikers that had flagged this area as suspicious in the first place. 

As Selina straightened, about to turn around to go and find Sam, she was struck in the back of the head by what felt like a rock, blurring her vision and sending her tumbling to the ground. She groaned lightly, lifting herself up onto her elbow as her hand roamed around to feel at the base of her skull, the slight warmth she felt coating her fingers telling her she was bleeding. 

Seconds later she was grabbed by the ankles, thin, boney fingers digging hard into her flesh as it began to drag her across the forest floor. Selina’s hands shot out, trying to grab whatever she could to stop herself from moving, but it was no use, the Wendigo was stronger than her and she was practically grasping at straws.

“Sam!” Selina cried out, her hands fumbling for anything they could find to try and fight back against the creature carrying her away. “Sam!”

“Selina!” Sam’s distant voice called back, not instilling her with confidence he’d get to her in time.

“Sam!” Selina cried out again, her hands slipping from around a thin tree as the Wendigo tugged her hard and began to pick up the pace. And after one, rather sharp, left hand turn towards what looked like a cave entrance, her head collided with a large rock and everything went dark. 

Selina awoke, after God knows how long, in complete darkness. She couldn’t see anything bar a sliver of light shining through a crack in the rocks surrounding her. Nothing but the faint dripping of water filling the silence around her and her wrists were bound above her currently throbbing head, her body hanging limp and sore in the air. 

Great, she thought to herself. Strung up like a piece of meat waiting to be eaten by what was once a cannibalistic human. Just how she wanted to go out. 

Fighting against the restraints holding her in place, and making a hell of a noise as they appeared to be chains, Selina’s ears were soon met with a deep, yet low, growl. One that sent a chill shooting down her spine and her breathing quickened as she came to realise she wasn’t alone. 

Out of the darkness in front of her came the Wendigo, that faint crack of light from earlier illuminating its horrific features. Standing at over six feet tall with the thinnest, most stick-like legs Selina had ever seen, it began to stalk towards her, inciting a small touch of worry beneath her chest as she was completely vulnerable right now. 

The closer it got the more she could see. How its ribs protruded out from beneath its pallid and wrinkly skin. How its ears pointed upwards, its eyes pushed back deep into its head and its mouth… The teeth that lay beyond those lips were unlike anything Selina had ever seen, as she hadn’t exactly seen a Wendigo this up close before, and for once, she was scared. 

The creature's long, razor-like claws began to trace lightly across the skin of her neck, making her tremble beneath its touch and the second she did, it pushed down. The tip of its nail dug into her flesh, breaking the skin and allowing her to feel the warm trickle of blood drip down her chest as she winced softly to herself. 

Eyes stinging, Selina sucked in the biggest breath she possibly could, attempting to get some courage back into her as she was not about to end up eaten by a Wendigo. Not today. And not ever. She swung her leg out in front of her, kicking the creature hard in the stomach and it stumbled back away from her. 

It cried out, a guttural, almost blood curdling cry that had Selina fill with instant regret as what had she been thinking? Like a kick was going to do anything other than make it mad. And it did make it mad. Mad enough that it swung at her, it’s sharpened claws slashing her chest in three, deep, parallel cuts. 

Crying out in pain, Selina blinked hard, attempting to fight back at the tears that riddled her eyes. Her chest began to throb, her wound stinging fiercely and she was fairly certain she was done for. But the Wendigo didn’t touch her again after that, instead it stepped back into the darkness and disappeared, leaving her alone to stew in the smell of her own blood and God knows what else that was surrounding her. 

Selina didn’t know how long she hung there, doing nothing but having to feel her blood drip down her chest and completely soak her now ruined t-shirt. And this had been one of her favourites which only made her that much more pissed off. Why hadn’t she listened to Sam when he called after her? Maybe then she wouldn’t be strung up like a damsel in distress in some dank, smelly place in the middle of the forest. 

Soft footsteps soon lifted her head from where it had fallen, her heartbeat quickening as she couldn’t help but think it was coming back to finish her off. But as they got closer, what sounded like one pair turning into three, relief quickly washed over Selina’s aching body when the beam of a flashlight cascaded over her bloody form.

“Selina!” Sam called out, dropping the flashlight to the ground and rushing over to her, followed swiftly behind by Dean and Castiel.

“Sam.” Selina exhaled, a shaky, trembling breath leaving her lips. 

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re safe now.” Sam said softly, catching Selina as she fell free of her shackles, which Castiel had popped open with one quick flick of his hand. 

“Where… Where is it?” Selina asked, breathlessly as it took her a second to find her feet, leaning against Sam until she was sure she wasn’t about to fall over. 

“Dead.” Dean replied, anger riddling his voice and it only got worse when he shone his light over Selina and caught sight of her wound. “You’re hurt.” 

“I’m fine.” Selina protested, pushing Dean’s hands away from her as she didn’t need him poking at her. “Just get me the hell out of here.” 

One blink later and the four of them were standing by the car, not needing to be geniuses to figure out they’d just flown thanks to Castiel. Something that didn’t bother Selina as much as it normally would given her desperation to get as far away from these mountains as humanly possible. 

“Thanks.” Selina whispered, slumping against the car and bringing her hand to her chest, pressing down hard on her wound to try and stop the bleeding. “Fuck, this hurts.” 

“Here, let me.” Castiel said, stepping towards her with two fingers raised out in front of him, making Selina duck before he could place them on her forehead.

“No, no.” Selina shook her head, holding out her free hand to keep him at arm's length. “It’s bad enough that we just flew here, okay, I don’t need you healing me too.” 

“Right.” Castiel nodded, clenching his fist and dropping it to his side. “I forgot. You don’t like me healing you unless it’s life threatening.” 

“You know, I don’t get that.” Dean interrupted, his brow a little furrowed as he always had wondered about his sister's insane rule about never allowing Castiel to fix her. “I mean… Why?”

“Because I don’t like it, that’s why.” Selina replied, accepting the piece of cloth Sam handed to her and swapping her hand out for something a little cleaner. “It makes me feel… weird, I don’t know. It’s just not natural, okay? Get off my case.” 

“Alright, relax. I’m only asking.” Dean exhaled, holding his hands up in surrender before he tilted his head a little and pointed out. “It’s gonna ruin your ink, though.” 

“Yeah, but it’ll leave a kickass scar instead.” Selina replied, almost gladly as she always did like having scars to show off. 

Not to mention they made her feel like she’d lived more which couldn’t be said for anytime she was healed as to her it felt like she’d been born again. And given that she had been healed angelically after the trials, she wasn’t eager to feel like a newborn again so soon so she’d happily deal with the aftermath of her Wendigo wound. 

So long as it didn’t turn her into one, as she was not living in a cave for the rest of her life. 

A quick trip to the emergency room and over a dozen stitches later, Selina soon found herself occupying a stool in a nearby bar. She’d needed a drink badly after today's little adventure and since they were in town for one more night, they figured they’d check out the local watering hole before heading back to the bunker. 

Selina sat by herself as Castiel had flown off to check in on Kevin and his mom, and her brothers were across the room playing a game of pool with some bikers. No hustling though, just a good honest game which came as quite a surprise. And for once she didn’t mind sitting alone at the bar as it meant she had some privacy to text Crowley, letting him know the case was over as he had asked that she do that. 

Which she couldn’t help but find strangely… sweet? But she didn’t think much of it other than him being curious. And she was more than happy to oblige to his request if it meant talking to him. Leaving out the whole ‘almost getting eaten by a Wendigo’ part of her day, of course. 

Selina: Wendigo: 0, Cat Winchester: 1

More like Wendigo: 1, Cat Winchester: 0, but she wasn’t about to admit that. She had a reputation to keep after all.

Crowley : Hunt went well, I take it?

Selina : Of course it did. It is me you’re talking to after all😌

Crowley : Uh-huh… So nothing happened then? No plans went awry? Everything went as you expected it to?

Selina : Exactly as expected 

“Somehow…” The very voice of the demon she’d been actively texting sent a fierce shiver down Selina’s spine the moment it reached her ears, her eyes soon catching sight of him approaching the bar next to her. “I don’t quite believe that.” 

“You should.” Selina exhaled, feeling hot all of a sudden as she downed the entirety of her glass before spinning to greet him, nothing but innocence clouding her face. “It’s the truth.” 

“Really?” Crowley said sceptically, running his tongue over his lip as his eyes flicked briefly down to her chest, where he could not only smell the blood that lingered there, but he could see the white of the bandage that covered skin. 

He stepped closer to her, unaware of the flutter he sent throughout her twisting stomach as he raised one finger, hooking it around her jacket and opening it a touch more to reveal her hidden wound.

“Then what's that?”

“An unfortunate workplace incident.” Selina replied with minor sarcasm, swatting his hand away and pulling her jacket closed as the mere closeness of his finger to her skin made her shiver in all the best ways. 

“Well I do hope you’re seeking compensation.” Crowley said in retort, hearing a faint chuckle leave Selina’s lips as he hopped onto the stool next to her and motioned towards the bartender. “Two of whatever she’s having.” 

“Joining me for a drink?” Selina questioned playfully, glancing briefly over Crowley’s shoulder to where her brothers currently resided. “Dangerous game considering Dean’s actively wanting to murder you.” 

“I’ll take the risk, darling.” Crowley replied quietly, not picking up on the faint breath that left Selina’s lips over her new favourite nickname to be called. “Besides, I was merely curious as to whether you were telling the truth about your little venture into the wilderness and clearly you weren’t.” 

“I’d be careful, Crowley.” Selina began, leaning forward a little to whisper, her mouth dangerously close to his skin. “Otherwise people might start to think that you were worried about me.” 

“Worried?” Crowley scoffed, clearly forced as he wouldn’t lie… He had been worried about her. “Please. I’m a demon, Selina. We don’t get worried.” 

“Right.” Selina mumbled, drawing back from him with obvious disappointment. “How could I forget?” She added, downing her drink in one large mouthful as of course he’d have to bring that up and ruin the moment.

Obviously she was well aware of what Crowley was, and always would be now that the trials were forgotten about. But it didn’t mean she liked being reminded of it as each time she was, it just crushed her soul a teeny bit more over the thought that they’d never be anything more than… Co-workers? 

Was that the right word to describe their weird relationship or was it something else? Honestly, Selina didn’t know and she didn’t overly care either as she was too busy thinking of what might have been had Crowley not been who he was. She really hated this crush she was fast developing on him as it was making her a lot less like herself and a lot more… Sappy. And quite frankly, miserable. 

“Cat Winchester, as I live and breathe!” A familiar voice, yet one Selina hadn’t heard in a very long time was quick to pull her from her thoughts, her body shifting absently around to meet the face of her old friend. 

“Lee?” Selina chuckled out, her eyes wide as she’d never have expected to see him here. Or if ever. She slid off the stool, surprising Crowley greatly when she allowed Lee to pull her into a hug, one that lifted her from her feet. 

“Damn girl, how long’s it been?” Lee breathed out, releasing Selina from his tight grasp yet keeping one hand firmly on her shoulder, much to Crowley’s rather obvious disliking.

“Too long… What brings you here?” 

“Well, I own this place.” Lee replied, his hand leaving her shoulder, thankfully Crowley thought to himself, as he gestured to the bar around him. “What are you doing here?” 

“We just finished a hunt, up in Appalachia.” Selina told him, leaning her elbows back against her stool. “Figured we’d check out the town before we headed home.” 

“Oh yeah, anything exciting?” Lee asked, his eyes glancing to Selina’s side, brow furrowing a touch over the rather ominous glare he was getting from Crowley.

“Not particularly, just a Wendigo.” Selina exhaled, clearing her throat as she followed Lee’s eye line to her side, biting at her tongue a little as this would not end well if he found out exactly who her drinking buddy was. 

Or worse, what he was.

“Damn, haven’t hunted a Wendigo in years.” Lee scratched absently at his chin, using it to point briefly in Crowley’s direction. “This your new hunting buddy who’s giving me the death stare?” 

“Not exactly.” Selina replied around a nervous chuckle, sidestepping in front of Crowley to hopefully keep him on his stool. “He’s just a friend… I still hunt with my brothers, who are around here somewhere.” 

“Well I’ll be damned, the whole Winchester clan rolling into my bar. What are the odds?” Lee said humorously, his eyes leaving Crowley to land upon Selina again. “Hey, you remember that last hunt we did together? The Chupacabra?” 

“How could I forget?” Selina scoffed lightly, tugging subtly at her collar as trust Lee to bring up that hunt when she had clear memory of how it ended. 

Here’s hoping her face wasn’t as red as she thought it was otherwise she’d never hear the end of it from Crowley.

“I gotta say, that was a fun night.” Lee said, the slight twinkle in his obvious eyes making Crowkey have to bite his tongue.

And hard too as he did not like the way Lee was looking at Selina, as though he was about to pounce on her in the middle of the bar. And to make matters worse, Selina’s reply didn’t exactly help him feel less… Jealous? Was that it? Was he jealous of Lee? Surely not?

“Yeah, uh… It was.” Selina nodded briefly, clearing her throat as you could literally cut the tension with a knife it was so strong. 

“Well, I’m gonna leave you to it.” Lee began, sensing the slight awkwardness begin to form in the air. “Better go see these brothers of yours and make sure they ain’t causing trouble.”

“Probably for the best.” Selina chuckled, remaining with her back to Crowley as Lee walked away, hoping the heat on her face would die down before she had to turn around and face him again.

“Old flame?” Crowley asked, trying his best to seem humorous but instead he sounded bitter. At least to himself as Selina only got redder the second the words reached her ears. 

“Why?” She cleared her throat, swallowing down her fluster as she returned to her usual and witty self, hopping back onto her stool. “You jealous?” 

Crowley did nothing but scoff lightly into his glass before taking a rather large mouthful, in an attempt to cover up the fact that he was, indeed, a little jealous. But he wouldn’t admit that aloud now would he? 

“Do you have a death wish?” Dean’s slightly angered voice pulled Crowley from his thoughts, but caused only Selina to spin instantly on her stool to see him, along with Sam and Lee, storming towards them, making her stomach drop in one quick second.

Oh boy, she thought to herself, this wouldn’t end well. 

“Depends on the day really.” Crowley replied with a sigh, mimicking, the now somewhat concerned for his well-being, Selina’s motion to face Dean, whose hand was beneath his jacket where he no doubt gripped the handle of his beloved demon blade. 

“Why are you here?” Dean asked, or more so demanded as he all but went red in the face. 

“I was passing by, thought I’d stop in for a drink.” Crowley answered, his usual witty personality shielding what he truly felt, which, at this point, he had no clue as to what it was.

Worry maybe? But not over Dean’s clear want to kill him, but more over the idea that he and Selina were about to be forbidden from seeing each other as with the way Dean’s nostrils were flaring, it was plainly obvious that’s what he was thinking. 

Not that Dean’s say so could easily sway Selina. But family came first with the Winchesters and if it meant keeping herself in her brother’s good books, Crowley was fairly certain she’d cut him off if need be. 

“Right… And it just so happened to be a coincidence that you chose this bar.” Dean muttered sarcastically.

“Is that so hard to believe?” 

“With you involved?” Dean scoffed, his eyes widened as was Crowley serious right now? Like they hadn’t known him long enough to know that when he was concerned, nothing was ever a coincidence. “Yeah, I’d say it was.”

“So he… isn’t a friend?” Lee interrupted, his brow a little furrowed.

“Far from it.” Sam muttered, unable to stop the chuckle riddled scoff from escaping the back of his throat.

“Oh Moose, you break my heart.” Crowley said playfully, holding one hand over his chest as he mimicked offence. 

Which appeared to have touched a nerve with Dean, who stepped forward instantly and was about to draw his knife from beneath his jacket before Selina pushed him back. Rather hard too and had he not had quick reflexes and a good balance, he’d have ended up on his ass. 

“Enough! All of you!” Selina warned, her voice loud enough that she gained a few turned heads from the bar's other patrons. She took a breath, biting at the inside of her lip as she really hadn’t meant to yell at them. 

But forgive her for being a bit touchy when only hours ago she’d been strung up in a Wendigo’s lair. Which seemed like paradise compared to now. 

“Look, I know this may come as a shock to you both.” She began, glancing between both of her, equally as intrigued as the other, brothers. “But Crowley and I are friends.” 

“Besties, actually.” 

“Shut it.” Selina gritted, firing a warning glare towards the aforementioned demon as she didn’t need him making things worse. 

“Friends?” Dean repeated, disgust riddling his voice. “Are you kidding me right now? He’s a demon, Cat… Demons aren’t friends!” 

“You brought a demon into my bar?”

“Need I remind you…” Selina replied, choosing to ignore Lee’s question as she didn’t need another person jumping on the bandwagon of hate. “That there is a werewolf and a vampire out there that we all consider friends?” 

“That’s different. And you know it.” Dean said through clenched teeth, unable to believe they were even having this conversation. “Garth is Garth and Benny? He got us out of Purgatory, Selina, we owed him for that… But this is Crowley we’re talking about here. Have you forgotten what he’s done to us? What he’s done to Kevin?” 

“Of course not, Dean.” Selina exhaled, running her hand through her hair as she glanced to her side, catching the way Crowley was looking at her and with the regret that lingered behind his eyes over what Dean was referencing, she knew for certain that he was different. “But we’ve all done things we’re not proud of.” 

“And what makes you think that he ain’t proud of them?” Dean asked with genuine curiosity.

“Because I told her so, that’s why.” Crowley spoke up, and for once his usual witty tone was long gone. He slid from his stool, coming to stand next to Selina who stepped forward just a little, as though acting as his shield.

“Right and you just expect her to believe that?” Dean said distastefully, adjusting his grip around the knife he’d slowly taken out from underneath his jacket.

“I do believe it, Dean.” Selina replied, crossing her arms over her chest as she stood her ground. She really did believe it, as she’d seen it for herself that night in Paris, which is why she wasn’t so scared to admit that to her brothers as on any other given day, she’d have never defended Crowley in front of them. 

“Yeah? Well I don’t.” Dean spat, his lips twitching out of obvious anger as his attention fell back upon the demon, the tip of his blade pointing threateningly in his direction. “So you had best keep your distance from her otherwise today is gonna be the day your death wish comes true.” 

“What’s that? Is that a threat? Are you threatening me?” Crowley asked, his eyes narrowing but he couldn’t help but chuckle. “That’s cute, Dean, but we all know you don’t have the guts to kill me otherwise you’d have slit my throat the first chance you got.” 

“Yeah well there’s always tonight.”   

“And what makes you think that you have any say in who your sister keeps in her rather delightful company?” Crowley carried on, only adding fuel to the fire that was quickly growing inside Dean. “Last I checked she’s a grown woman, is she not? Perfectly capable of choosing who she wishes to surround herself with.” 

“And you think that’s you?” 

“It is.” Selina said firmly, having heard enough from both of them. 

“Wait… You’re being serious?” Sam asked, brow dipped deeply over his brooding eyes. “You actually enjoy Crowley’s company?”

“Yes.” Selina replied, and it was as though her brothers were both hit by a truck of betrayal. “You know why? Because he doesn’t treat me like I’m still twelve years old.” 

“That’s how you think we treat you?” Sam questioned his voice a little low as he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing. 

“Well you don’t treat me like a grown up so what else am I supposed to think?” Selina responded, her voice slightly shaky and this wasn’t exactly the place she wanted to have this conversation but if she didn’t say it now she might never. “I mean, after everything I have done over the years you still treat me like I’m that scared little girl who slept with the light on until she was eleven. 

“But guess what? I’m not her anymore… I haven’t been for a long time. I mean… I spent six months by myself in Purgatory, fighting tooth and nail for survival until Dean and Cas found me. Then barely a year after we got out I walked straight into Hell. I walked willingly into the one place that scares me more than anything in order to get Bobby out of there and I’m still here. But even despite all that… You both keep treating me like a kid.”

“Selina, we never…” Sam began, a breathy sigh leaving his lips as he honestly didn’t know what to say. “We didn’t think…” 

“And that’s the problem, Sam.” Selina cut him off, becoming fully aware that both Crowley and Lee had heard her pour out her fragile soul. But she didn’t care. “You don’t think… Neither of you. At least not about me, anyway.”

Selina didn’t allow much chance for a response before she turned on her heels and left the building, the door swinging shut behind her as the four men simply stood there with their eyes glued to the space she once occupied, none of them knowing quite what to say to any of that. 

Although Crowley would admit, not aloud obviously, that he was rather proud of her for getting that off her chest. He had read the books after all and they made it blatantly obvious that everything Selina said about her brothers was true. They did treat her like a child. They always had. 

The boys never could grasp that Selina wasn’t the weak damsel John had made her out to be when he dumped her at Bobby’s day in and day out. No matter what she did to prove herself they couldn’t seem to understand that, not even after Purgatory. And not even after the trials as Crowley was well aware they’d searched for months for another hellhound to kill after she killed the first one. Before they eventually gave up and agreed to let Selina go through with them. 

It was about damn time they stopped underestimating her abilities otherwise they’d end up losing her forever, and not in the way they’d feared. 

Although perhaps Selina might have over estimated her abilities as she’d barely been outside the bar for ten minutes before she needed rescuing again. She hadn’t even noticed him following her down the alleyway, too busy deep inside her own mind as she couldn’t believe she’d just spouted all that after months, maybe even years, of repressing it. 

It was like her guard had fallen so far beneath the earth that his footsteps went unheard as he stalked closer to her, and it wasn’t until his hand gripped Selina’s hair tightly and she was thrust up against the wall did she even know what was happening. 

As if she had, this dirtbag would be on the ground with a bullet in him rather than pushed up behind her with his hands roaming her body. 

“I’ve been watching you all night.” The man whispered into her ear, inhaling deeply as he took in the scent of her freshly washed hair. He lifted Selina’s arms, spinning her around and pinning them above her head as he pressed her back firmly against the wall.

Selina’s heart began to hammer beneath her chest as she suddenly became overwhelmed with fear. And regret for even leaving the bar in the first place. Why hadn’t she just gone to the bathroom instead? Or better yet, made Crowley leave the second he showed up as maybe none of this godforsaken night would have happened.

“Let me go.” Selina tried to warn, but her voice just came out shaky and foreboding rather than stern and threatening like she’d hoped. 

“Why? So you can go back to those guys you were with and let them have all the fun?” The man chuckled, brushing the knuckles of his free hand down the side of Selina’s face, making her tremble beneath his touch. “I don’t think so sweetheart. See you and I? We’re about to have some fun of our own.” 

Dropping his hand from her face, the man began to graze it down her body, running it slowly across her rapidly rising chest and over her twisting stomach. And the second it reached her waistband, where it popped open her jeans in one quick motion, Selina’s eyes began to water. 

She sucked in a breath, preparing herself for what she was about to do as she didn’t know what would happen afterwards. But she had to try. She wasn’t about to go and let this pig ruin her life worse than anything supernatural related ever could. And that included walking into Hell. 

So, with every ounce of strength she had in her, Selina thrusted her knee up quickly, hitting him between the legs and causing his hold on her hands to falter. She pulled them from within his grasp, punching him quickly in the face which had him stumble backwards a little.

“You bitch.” The guy mumbled, spitting blood from his mouth before lunging for her again. He took her by surprise, forcing her back against the wall just as she reached for her gun, causing her to end up firing a shot which ricocheted off the ground and pinged a nearby dumpster before the gun slipped from her grasp. “The more you fight back. The worse this is gonna be for you.” 

“I think the only one who’s gonna have it worse, is you.” Selina chuckled, having never been more grateful to see who was now standing in the darkness behind them.

“Oh yeah? And why’s that sweetheart?” 

“Because the King of Hell is behind you.” Selina whispered, the man’s brows dipping before he was suddenly thrown against the dumpster behind him, at such force that his body dented the metal a lot more than it should have and she was surprised he hadn’t stuck in it. 

Slumping down the wall a little in relief, Selina let out a deep, shaky breath as she quickly buttoned her jeans back up. Crowley hurried towards her in a flash of black and she was met with his worry filled eyes the second she looked back up, her own filled with tears that were glistening in the faint moonlight.

But neither of them got to say a word to each other before the overlap of heavy footsteps came running down the alley in the shape of Sam, Dean and Lee, all of whom had their guns raised in front of them. 

“We heard a gunshot.” Sam called out as be approached, the first thing he saw being the groaning man on the ground rather than his sister and the demon she clung to, her fingers gripping Crowley’s sleeves so tight they were almost transparent.

However Dean saw something else first, something he misinterpreted big time. Selina’s tears. And given that Crowley was in front of her and her face was bruising, things seemed to add up to him being responsible. Only he couldn’t have been more wrong, which he soon found out when he pulled his knife out and swung for the demon. 

“Dean, don’t!” Sam shouted, grabbing Dean’s arm just before he could slash at Crowley, who wouldn’t even have had time to zap himself away, things happened so fast. “I think Crowley might have… saved Selina.” 

“What?” Dean exhaled, that having snapped him out of his demon fueled rage.

“He did.” Selina whispered, clearing her  croaky throat and taking a step towards her brothers, and away from Crowley as she finally, yet reluctantly, let go of him. “I almost… That guy he almost…” She shook her head, swallowing thickly as she couldn’t bring herself to say it. “Crowley stopped him.” 

Dean’s brow dipped softly, his eyes scanning the area surrounding them. That’s when he saw him. The guy lying in a puddle, twitching from pain and the dent above him in the dumpster was far too deep to have been caused by Selina herself. He began to calm down a little, at least as much as he could given what almost happened to his sister.

But at least Crowley hadn’t been responsible otherwise he might not have been able to stop himself from killing him on the spot.

“Come here.” Dean whispered, taking Selina gently by the shoulder and pulling her in for a hug. He held her tightly, feeling the way she shook beneath his hold and he couldn’t stop himself from glancing towards Crowley.

For once he didn’t feel overcome with hatred towards the demon, as he had saved his sister from a trauma worse than anything he faced in Hell. And that counted for something at least. 

“…Thank you.” Dean muttered hesitantly, his words barely audible but they were loud enough for those surrounding him to hear. 

All Crowley did was nod once in acknowledgment, his eyes simply flicking down to Selina who had slowly begun to pull away from her brother’s chest. And no one even mentioned, or paid any attention for that matter, to the damp spot on Dean’s shirt. Or the obvious redness to Selina’s eyes as she wiped them subtly with her sleeve. 

“What should we do with him?” Sam asked as he gestured towards the dirtbag still writhing on the ground, his finger twitching out of eagerness to put a bullet in his skull for laying a hand on his sister. 

“I believe there’s a lovely little spot in Hell with his name on it.” Crowley replied, rather happily as torturing this piece of crap was at the top of his to do list. And was well worth actually going down to Hell for. 

“You’re gonna… Torture him?” Lee asked, his eyes widened. 

“Good.” Dean said bluntly, to nobody’s surprise except Lee’s as he wasn’t fully up to speed on the changes in the Winchester’s lives. Clearly. “Make it hurt.” 

“Oh believe me, I will.” Crowley promised, clicking his fingers and the attacker disappeared right before their very eyes. Sent down to the second deepest layer of Hell, the one above that which housed Lucifer himself and where the truly evil people spent eternity. “He won’t be seeing the light of… Anything. Ever again.” 

“Good.” Selina said gladly, wiping at her eyes again as she bent over to pick up her gun. As she straightened she came to lock eyes with Crowley, wishing there was some way she could thank him other than simple words. But there wasn’t. Not really. 

Although there was one more thing she could ask of him whilst she had the chance. 

“You’ve probably had your fill of helping us out lately.” Selina began, scratching lightly at her chest and thanking anyone but God that her stitches hadn't bust open. “But there is one more thing you could do for me.” 

“Name it.” Crowley said immediately, as he never would get tired of helping her. And given that she’d saved his life, he figured he was forever in her debt. 

But even if she hadn’t, part of him reckoned he’d still do whatever she asked of him. 

“Take me home.” Selina exhaled, exhaustion overwhelming her almost instantly at the thought of getting to curl up in the safety of her own bed. “I don’t want to have to be in this town any longer than necessary.” 

“Wait.” Dean interrupted, causing Selina to sigh as she turned towards him. “What you said earlier…” 

“Don’t.” Selina cut him off, shaking her head. “I don’t want to talk about that right now, okay? I just want to go home.” 

“Alright.” Dean said softly, the slight cracking to Selina’s voice telling him she was serious. “We’ll see you when we get back.” 

“Yeah.” Selina murmured, flashing her brothers, and Lee, a thin lipped smile before she disappeared.

The world around her began to shift, and in one slow blink she was standing back outside the bunker they called home. The one place she knew no harm could ever come to her. Not from a monster and definitely not from a human. 

“Talk about a rough day.” Selina huffed out the second her mind stopped spinning as she never would get used to teleporting. 

How Crowley and Castiel did that all the time she’d never understand. 

“Are you okay?” Crowley asked, a touch of concern riddling his voice as Selina pulled her arm from around his, turning herself to face him properly and by the look in her eyes he didn’t need her words to answer that question.

“I gotta be, right?” Selina exhaled, on the verge of tears that she was really struggling to keep inside until she was alone. 

“No.” Crowley said softly, his hand twitching a little as he would give anything to be able to reach out and cup her face. “It’s okay to not be okay, Selina. You are human after all.” 

“Yeah, unfortunately.” Selina mumbled, a deep sigh escaping her lips as her eyes fell to the gravel beneath them. “You’re lucky, you know. Being a demon and not having to be saddled with human emotions. Feelings. Must be nice.”

Crowley said nothing in response. Nothing but a forced huff of what could barely be described as a chuckle left the back of his throat as he couldn’t bring himself to lie to her. Not to her face anyway as he didn’t exactly have that luxury of not feeling things anymore.

No thanks to Selina herself, but he’d never blame her for that. She had had every reason to do what she did back in that church and he’d never fault her for it. 

In fact he was rather glad of it as had it not happened. Had they not shared whatever it was that they shared together that day, he might never have gotten to know what it felt like to experience human emotions again. 

And even if they were seen as a burden for demons, it wasn’t all bad. He had Selina because of them, to a certain degree of course, and there really wasn’t anything more he could ever want other than her. 

Chapter 6 ->

[rewatching-sam-and-dean]

What is your top five episodes of Supernatural?

Hey there! Thanks for sending me your ask!

So, I have a really hard time answering this question since I haven’t actually ever sat down and chosen an overall top 5. I even have a hard time coming up with one favorite episode of a season, or even favorite season order, never mind narrowing down to top 5 episodes. I could probably give you my top 5 episodes of each season (maybe even top 3) with reasonable confidence, lol. My favorites do change sometimes depending on a rewatch or how I’m feeling at the time.

Still, I’ll give answering this ask a try. I'm going to go with the top episodes that come to my mind right now, which are all always among my faves. These aren’t all episodes that I consider to be technically the best, but ones that I consistently enjoy for the majority of the episode, I skip no (or almost no) parts when I watch it, and that I don’t really get tired of on rewatching, so ones I enjoy most.

I don't know if you’re actually interested in my reasons, or only curious about which episodes, so I’ll just make a quick note for each.

**EDIT** I’m so sorry, I literally couldn’t narrow it down. Here are my Top 10 Instead. 🤷‍♀️ . Episodes are under the cut since this got long.

My Top 10 (as of today and in no particular order):

1) Scarecrow (1x11) - Sam and Dean have their first brother "break up" and basically spend the episode pining. Intro to Meg. Creepy monster.

2) Tall Tales (2x15) - I literally put this episode on when I go to bed. It’s funny, low angst, unique in its storytelling style and the brothers having a prolonged bitch-fest while Bobby is exasperated is amusing to me.

3) What is and What Should Never Be (2x20) - Heartbreaking, AU done right (I’m looking at you pointedly, Season 13), showing how important being close to Sam is to Dean, Preppy Law-school Sam, Marry, Jessica

4) A Very Supernatural Christmas (3x8) - the monsters hit the exact right tone and are really amusing, the end scene with the brothers doing Christmas is both heartwarming and heartbreaking. Their silent communication is fantastic.

5) Mystery Spot (3x11) - the shift in tones from light to dark, "six months later," ridiculous deaths, unhinged Sam

6) When the Levee Breaks / Lucifer Rising (4x21-22)- so angsty and painful, but in a good way (yeah, I cheated with 2 episodes, but they go together).

7) The Point of No Return (5x18) - Sam has so much faith in Dean, and Dean can’t bear letting Sam down, Adam, other characters' reactions to the boys ⬇️

8) The Man Who Knew Too Much (6x22) - Jared is frigging awesome at playing 3 versions of Sam. Concerned Dean. Interesting setup

9) Sacrifice (8x23) - the whole episode, but especially the church scenes: Sam and Crowley, but especially Sam and Dean. The acting from both Js is just … chef's 😘

10) Red Meat (11x17) - Sam is a badass. Dean is Romeo. Unhinged excellence. (This is also an great episode to come after Safe House which I also really like.)

Okay, so I'm still missing a bunch of episodes that I love, or have parts that I might like more than the ones listed above, but some I left out because they make me too sad or there are long portions I tend to skip on rewatches.

Thanks again for your ask. I hope I didn’t give you way more than you wanted.

What are your top 5 ( or 10)?

[aro-as-in-straight-as-a]

Fucked up ship bingo: (1) destiel (2) samwena (3) Crowley/dean

Okay okay okay!

So bear with me, i have no skills whatsoever in like photo editing or anything so i've gotta do this with just typing, (i really hope i'm answering this correctly ;_; bear with me)

Destiel: Bingo for "i want them 2 make out with blood in their mouths like vampire bats" diagonally down to "committing atrocities as their silly little activities"

Samwena: Bingo for "kinda homophobic of god 2 not let me have what they have" up diagonally to "they NEED 2 get weirder with it"

Drowley: Bingo for "i don't like it but my friends do. so im like obligated" across to "the DEVOTION oh my GOD"

This was really fun, i had to think hard about it!

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[i-make-fun-of-spn-characters]

do you think dean winchester believes in life after love? Or can he feel something inside him say "I really don't think you're strong enough, no?"

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I think it depends? Sometimes he weathers deaths okay (obviously sad—usually more visibly upset than anyone else—but managing). Other times he's done things that definitely suggested the answer was "no". Like after Sam's death in season 2, or after he lost Mary and Cas and Crowley at the end of season 12. But then there was season 6 which opened with Sam dead (as far as Dean knew) and Cas AWOL, and Dean was managing with the help of Lisa and Ben.

I think if you asked Dean that, he'd probably say "no", but I think a lot of people would say that if there was just no one they loved left at all. I think Dean typically has people he's able to fall back on when he loses someone. There's also what Dean believes about himself (which is probably that he can't make it without core members of his family) vs what's true, and I personally think that Dean has the capacity to build connections with almost anyone and form a family around himself and rebuild. This is what he does for most of the show after losing family like John, Ellen, Jo, Ash, Bobby, Benny, Kevin, Charlie, Crowley, etc. He just keeps rebuilding. I do think the end of season 12 is a turning point where we see this rebuilding become much harder for Dean—like maybe it's all been destroyed a few too many times and he's kind of like an exposed nerve, and he needs to withdraw to kind of protect the core of himself with just Sam and Cas close to the chest.

This is actually—I think—also probably related when it comes to what I said about Dean and Jack in the prev mail, because look—it doesn't take a lot to see that when they lose someone, Dean almost always takes it the hardest because he loves so deeply, and that must be difficult, and after a while, the idea of opening up your really sensitive heart to yet another person who could be taken away/go darkside must be terrifying to consider bearing yet again. Jack is a lovely kid, but also represents an... uncertainty. His got a really scary dad, a tenuous grasp on a LOT of power, a lot of people after him, etc. Sam is a constant Dean depends on, and while Dean can't depend on Cas to be a team player, he can depend on him to always come back—death never sticks to him. Plus Sam and Cas are already in there and Dean can't just... stop loving them.

I do want to be careful with this ask tho, because I think a lot of people think about the finale when they see an ask like this and think either 1) Dean lost Cas so he wanted to die or 2) Sam could live on without Dean but Dean couldn't live without Sam so it had to shake out the way it did in the finale. I personally reject the notion that Dean wanted to die or let himself die in the end because he lost Cas. Dean specifically says in that scene that he didn't want to die, that he was scared, and thought he'd have more time. I also reject the notion that Dean could never live without Sam—particularly because we've seen him do it (also that's a stupid reason to justify him dying the way he did).