#okay see my reasoning is that i need like. ppl talking to help me work on a language

[therubyjailcell]

any german ppl on here could rec me german yter or streamers pls

[nomairuins]

i am okay tho i just have momeys sometimrs . please do not ever worry abt me guys

[damagedcoda6669]

this is stupid

lets talk about this dumb ask for a minute. (leaving them anonymous so they dont get SLAUGHTERED)

ive gotten a handful of comments on my youtube video accusing me of the exact same things, so im gonna use this as an opportunity to teach you HOW NOT TO ACT TOWARDS CREATORS ONLINE. first of all, my financial situation is NONE of your business. i will establish that i pay rent, i have an income, i help synni out financially, but i dont owe you ANY of that information. making an assumption about my private life and then using said assumption to demonize me is exactly the kind of behavior exhibited by the internet growing up which ruined my childhood. you are making an assumption about me and using it to victimize synni and demonize me, two people who you have NEVER MET and in reality you know next to NOTHING about. stop making me out to be the bad guy in every situation, it goes to show that you have learned nothing from my video and are continuing the cycle of birdie hate for no good reason.

second of all, this is fucking ableist. assuming im mooching off of my best friend and being lazy because i happen to be disabled and mentally ill? fuck off. there is no "you need to get your act together" youre not my fucking parent, and also??? i need to get my act together??? you mean stop being disabled??? wtf are you on about??? synni chooses to vent about her financial situation, but i choose to keep that part of my life private. me and synni are in the exact same boat. you know NOTHING about me. for all you know i could be working a 9 to 5 like everybody else, but you never considered that possibility because im disabled. i did say in my video "fuck work" but guess what? people who have jobs also dont like working. synni has expressed the same "fuck work" rhetoric but instead of treating her as manipulative and evil in this situation you make her out to be a victim. we all know why youre talking about me the way that you are.

third of all, its not my fault synni is working 24/7??? its not my fault we're poor??? did you ever consider the economic climate rn??? or think to blame capitalism for making us need to work all of our lives only leaving us with a few hours to ourselves, barely surviving and scraping by? but of course, you dont want a rational answer to why synni and i are suffering financially. the internet always wants somebody to throw under the bus, and it will always be me because you will always see me as a mentally ill dangerous freak. think for yourself, unpack your own ableism. its exhausting.

OKAY BACK 2 NORMAL JACK MODE srry 4 writing a whole bible abt this, i feel VRY strongly abt this. my disabilities have been effecting me so badly ive been considering getting a wheelchair. (dont forget im physically disabled as well!!!) its not FUN 2 not be able 2 do the same things every1 else can (and it certainly isnt fun 2 have 2 explain that 2 ppl who dont care enough 2 understand) but i will never stop advocating 4 myself, becuz i never had any1 2 do that 4 me when i was a kid

[ventismacchiato]

42 behind the lens — curtain call !

epilogue

scaramouche x gender neutral reader

It’s at the times between recording scenes where you really get a glimpse at your lover.

His sweat stained hair and tear stained cheeks from a rather intense scene never get old. You were feeling rather fond as he made his way over to you, falling into your director’s chair and heaving a heavy breath. The only one other than you allowed to sit in it.

For a mere moment, you both simply look at each other. You guys were on break so a few conversation topics come to mind, it wasn’t often you guys got to speak as lovers rather than coworkers during work. And while they’re all things you’d like to talk to Scaramouche about, you realize you don’t need to force conversation with him.

There’s a hue of weariness that shows in Scara’s eyes, but you can tell that he’s happy. He’s doing what he’s been striving to do for all his years at university, so of course he is.

You search his dark eyes for his thoughts, too. When your eyes meet Scara’s he let’s out a tired smile.

“I missed you,” he easily says. The words come out easier than they would’ve years ago.

Your heart skips a beat, even years later.

“How? We’ve been working together all day,” you say.

“Do I need a reason to miss the person I love?” Scara scoffs, looking away from you to study the script he brought with him.

It isn’t the first time Scaramouche had told you that he loves you, but it’s never stopped holding the same weight it did the first time he’d ever said it.

It’s a rare type of love. The kind that exists so rarely for people in this industry and that lead lives similar to your guys’.

His loves makes you feel alive everyday. And Scara should know it, you should tell him more often—even if it’s rather dramatic for midday on set for their most recent project. It’s something you’d bring up at night that you two could laugh about in bed. Even if it catches Scara off guard.

But Scaramouche’s love caught you off guard, too, and every second you got the privilege to spend with him was a gift.

And as you stare at him, fiddling with the sleeves of his costume and eyebrows scrunched as he mouths his lines, you couldn’t help but feel your heart grow heavy.

“I suppose you don’t,” you reply, a minute too late, but Scara still chuckles at your response as he tosses the script aside.

“What? You’re not going to say it back?” he teases, “And I thought I was the emotionally constipated one.”

“Oh, fuck off,” you mutter, hitting him on the shoulder, “I love you, too. I guess.”

“Archons, you’re worse than me.”

“No, you were much worse when we were younger!”

“It was hot and mysterious when I did it.”

“Uh huh, just go back to set I’m sick of you.”

“Weird way to say you agree but okay.”

“Go!”

.

.

.

୨⎯ THE END ⎯୧

behind the lens !

masterlist — prev

author’s notes — and that’s a wrap folks! hope the ending wasn’t awkward i just wanted it to be short and sweet. anyway, thank u to everyone who read and kept up with this fic, means a lot to me that this blew up as it was smth i wrote for myself. if ur rereading this or are a reader in the future ty to you too! i appreciate the silent readers, anons, and ppl who left me sm cute comments and reblogs. u guys made writing it more fun and easier to ignore the not so nice ppl. i cant reply to everyone but just know i do read every ask and comment i get! i do hope to see u guys in my notifs in the future even if i don’t write for genshin anymore, but if not then i’m glad you gave my writing a chance <3 have a great day/night byebye

synopsis — you, better known as STARDUST, and BALLADEER have always been in competition for the top streamer spot on twitch, which is especially impressive since the two of you have never shown your faces. you’ve never been on good terms, constantly one-upping each other in matches and getting into petty arguments on twitter, causing your fans to also dislike each other. that’s until BALLADEER does a face reveal that breaks the internet with his good looks…which makes you realize it’s the same guy you went on a date with last night. the type of date that made you crave to see him again. the only problem was he didn’t know you were STARDUST and he was way different behind the lens than he portrayed himself online to you. should you keep your identity a secret to salvage the relationship or just let him go?

taglist — @captainzep @elysiumarchieve @plinkuro @sakkakuu-squared @eliqusgenma @vuvulia @kunikuzushiit @ins4nebish @stxrgxzxr @lilacponds @uma-umie @mitsukifilms @caesars-bubbles @wheneverthesunrise @its-like-twilight @kazuhalvrr @erosdevil @thenightsflower @p1utto @noodleshark420 @lxry-chxn @court-jester-stuff @lauragalliart @veyu002 @kaeyas-eyepatch-69 @leathernourishingshoepolish @courtneydefender @drunkwithfever @exhaustedcommunist @vincanzu @ainlaw @ovaliz @kitsuvil @whatamidoing89 @celestair @kunihaver @kazioli @xiaosoneandonly @cridtiins @cherrybeomgyu @asukahiriko @moon-320 @orionicchaos @cartierfiles [1/3]

[dudadragneel]

Hello, guys! It's me!

Since my creativity is off the roof, I am here to gift you with another Chan Sickfic!

Enjoy!

This one was 🍎's request!

Hi hi I’m new to ur account I get the sense that you write hurt comfort fics (thanks btw) it’s so rare to find ppl who appreciate that on here. I also saw that you take requests so I wanted to try my luck here. Can I request a fic where Chan is having a hard time with the whole long distance thing because he’s used to being w reader all the time and he’s been feeling sick and nauseous all day and so he can’t help but call reader in the middle of the night and She immediately knows something is wrong because he’d never usually call that late. She manages to get him to admit what’s wrong and tries to help him over the phone but he has to hang up to throw up. Then reader gets emotional because she can’t be with him when he feels so sick. So she drives all the way to be with him that night.

SO CLOSE YET SO FAR

Chan had been dating you for a few good years now and despite his packed schedule, he made sure to find time to be with you as much as possible. You had offered him to live with you but he politely declined stating that the kids needed him.

He had many reasons to try to be with you as much as possible, one was because he loved you with all his heart and the other was because he felt relaxed when he was with you. You provided him the same comfort he provided to the kids, STAYs, and you.

And the good point of all this was that you lived relatively close to the dorm so it was easy to come and go to each other's house.

However, there were times when he had schedules overseas that you couldn't attend, although you tried your best to accompany him as much as possible. Sometimes you had to travel to other cities away from your house and his dorm. And these were some of the hardest for both of you.

Today was no different, you were about 1hour away from the dorm, working on a new project and messaging Chan all the time, to make sure he was okay and talk about how your days went.

It had been 3 days since you left and he was starting to feel it, being used to seeing you almost every day, and considering how overwhelmed he was with his role as a leader, it wasn't easy for him.

And the cherry on top, he didn't know if he caught a bug, or if it was the food but his stomach began feeling weird during the afternoon. He noticed it as he was working in his bedroom, and it was gurgling loudly, making him burp every once in a while, but he managed to ignore it as much as he could and continued to work.

Then came dinner time, and he was feeling a little worse than before, a slight nausea starting to build up. But he needed to eat, or the boys would suspect something was wrong and the last thing he always wanted was to worry the kids.

And just like during the afternoon, he sat through dinner managing to eat an amount of food his stomach clearly didn't want or needed at that moment.

When he was done he went back to his room and the boys went to their bedrooms to sleep, being as exhausted as always.

Again, Chan continued to work on the songs despite his now more than obvious discomfort, his stomach angry at him for eating. If you were there, you'd keep him from working and get him to relax a bit, even if he didn't tell you he was feeling a bit sick.

As the night went on, he started feeling sleepy, he could no longer pay attention to the songs, and due to that they weren't turning out the way he wanted. Remembering that one time when this same process happened and he had a panic attack, he decided to call it a night and go to bed. He knew you'd be sleeping by now so he didn't call you but sent you a good night message.

He lay down on his bed and surprisingly, despite his stomach being angry at him, he fell asleep quite fast.

But about an hour later, the mild nausea he was feeling after having dinner, had now gotten strong. He woke up but didn't move from his position, and just felt his stomach churning and noticed he was a little too sweaty for cold weather.

He lifted himself up and drank a sip of cold water before lying down again.

However, that was far from being his smartest decision in life. That sip of water proved to be the last straw as the nausea got even worse and his stomach started contracting. His mouth started filling with saliva, a clear indicator that he would eventually throw up. But he knew that that could wake up some of the boys and the last thing he needed right now was his kids being worried about him.

He squeezed his eyes and covered them with his arm, the other resting on his stomach in an attempt to ease the churning feeling. His dinner and what felt like everything he ate that day were swirling inside, apparently jumping from time to time.

He tried his best to take deep controlled breaths as you did with him before but it wasn't exactly working.

Then once more saliva took over his mouth and he started swallowing convulsively, trying to keep everything in for as long as possible.

But he barely managed to control the urge when his stomach contracted one more time making a strong statement that if he didn't go to the bathroom right now, he'd be sick in his bed.

He grabbed his phone and got up, almost immediately regretting his decision as the motion seemed to have upset him even more.

Chan made his way to the bathroom with a hand clamping his mouth as strong as he could so he didn't vomit before reaching the bathroom.

He went to the sink and grabbed the edges tightly, trying to control his body. Looking at the mirror, his face was a bit pale and his curly hair was stuck to his forehead.

He ducked his head and squeezed his eyes taking deep breaths again, swallowing down whatever it was that was threatening to come out. He didn't want to be sick.

After a few agonizing minutes, his stomach seemed to have given him a break, with the nausea decreasing a little. Sometimes he'd deal with this on his own but now, not having you there with him was just worsening the situation. He didn't like the kids seeing him sick, but with you, his walls came down a little easier. And he so desperately needed you.

Yet still reluctant, he grabbed his phone and called you.

You woke up as soon as the phone rang and upon seeing who was calling you, you knew something was really wrong. Chan would never call you in the middle of the night unless he felt really bad.

- Baby? What's wrong?

- Hey, honey. Nothing, I'm fine...I was just missing you.

You could immediately notice that he was in the bathroom.

- Chan, please be honest.

- I am being honest. I was working on some music and then I remembered you-

He was cut off by a queasy burp he managed to muffle.

- Oh sweetie. We've been through this before. You don't have to be strong all the time, you don't have to put up a front with me, you can be weak.

No matter how much he wanted to hide how he was feeling, he'd called you for a reason and he felt safe with you.

- I don't feel good...

- What's happening?

- I've been feeling nauseous since the afternoon...

- Did you throw up? I can see that you're in the bathroom.

- No. I don't want to. I don't want to wake the kids.

Again he covered a queasy burp that brought up a small amount of liquid that he managed to swallow.

- Oh honey.

He closed his eyes and swallowed hard at the awful increasing feeling of dread that he was about to throw up.

You were getting anxious seeing him like this and being away, you had so little power to help him right now but you tried.

- Hey, baby. Listen to me, take deep breaths. With me, come on.

He tried following you through the phone, as you breathed with him. But it wasn't working.

You could see his expression changing, you noticed he'd gone a little green. He closed his eyes one more time and his his face on his arm, trying to control his body and you could see his Adam's apple bobbing up and down consecutively. You feared the worst and it happened.

Chan felt hot liquid rush up his throat and hit the back of his throat and he knew he wouldn't be able to hold it in this time.

When he felt his mouth filling he hurriedly hung up and reached for the toilet spilling out his dinner and a wet burp that followed brought a thicker stream of partially digested food.

You were taken aback when he hung up and started getting stressed over the fact that you weren't there for him. Your heart was almost beating out of your chest of worry and tears started swelling up in your eyes.

You knew he wouldn't ask the kids for help and you were worried this could escalate to a worse situation.

So you made the wisest decision at the moment, grabbed your stuff, and left a note to your friend, whose house you were staying at.

You decided to take the 1hour drive in the middle of the night to be with Chan because he needed you and he would only admit it to you.

In the dorms, Chan was on his second bout of vomiting all of the meals he had that day. He had a few breaks in between the rounds of vomit.

But to his demise, one of the members woke up to get water and heard retching sounds coming from the bathroom and noticed Chan's bedroom door open.

He knew the elders wouldn't want them worrying about him but he couldn't just sit still.

- Hyung? Chan-hyung?

Changbin said softly trying to knock on the door as quietly as possible.

Chan gulped down and tried to answer.

- 'm fine- Changbin-ah.

Changbin knew he wasn't and he wanted to help but he also knew Chan would be reluctant about it.

And as if on cue, you arrived at the dorm.

- Y/n!

- Hey, Changbin.

- What's wrong with Chan hyung?

- He's not feeling well. I'll take it from here, you can go back to sleep.

You said smiling and tapping his shoulder, he obeyed you and went back to his room.

You knocked on the bathroom door.

- Honey? It's me. Can I come in?

He wanted to answer but his stomach decided that he wouldn't as he retched wetly over the toilet and you took that as a sign to enter.

When you got in, you saw Chan leaning over the toilet vomiting for what seemed to be the third time, given how sweaty and red he was.

You rushed to him and kneeled next to him, one hand holding his head and his hair out of his eyes and the other rubbing his back up and down.

He barely looked at you when another gag brought a wave of putrid brown liquid immediately followed by another one.

- Oh baby...

You gently leaned his head on your shoulder and grabbed his hand which he squeezed in return, his other hand gripping his abdomen.

- It hurts so much...

- What happened? Is anyone else sick?

- No...just me...

- It could be a stomach bug...

He suddenly hissed, squeezing your hand even more and you kissed the top of his head as your hand kept rubbing his back.

- You're gonna be okay. I'm right here with you now, okay?

- thanks...

His back started heaving up and down under your touch and you could hear his stomach gurgle loudly. He gagged a few times, clamping his mouth and still squeezing your hand to ground himself and not break down.

- Honey, I know it hurts. You need to let it out. Hm?

You said, rubbing his lower back and comforting him as much as you could.

His stomach jumped rather aggressively and he got away from your embrace reaching the toilet in time for another wave to come out. He coughed a few times until a wet retch brought up even more, the sound of liquid hitting liquid repeatedly making you grimace a little. And you could see it wasn't being easy on him, the veins on his neck were popping up and he was getting red as well.

- Breathe, honey, breathe.

You didn't stop rubbing his back not even once. He rested his head on his arm, his nose was runny and his eyes were watering.

You carefully brushed his curly hair out of his face, looking at him with gentle eyes.

- Do you think you're done?

- No...it's still churning...

- Can I go get some cold water for you?

- I don't want you to leave...

This sentence showed how much he let himself be vulnerable when he was with you, he needed you by his side.

- Okay. I won't leave.

You grabbed your phone and texted Changbin who would probably still be awake now that he knew Chan wasn't well.

- Changbin. Are you sleeping?

- No. Do you need anything?

- Can you get some cold water? Please?

- Sure. And how's Chan hyung?

- He's still vomiting. I think he might've caught a stomach bug.

- I'll be right there.

Changbin knocked on the door before entering holding a glass of cold water.

- Thank you.

- Thanks, Changbin-ah.

The leader said weakly, trying to give a faint smile, to which Changbin returned.

- Text me if you need any help.

- Will do.

You turned to face Chan who had turned green and was swallowing again and you noticed he was actually holding it in while Changbin was in there.

- Honey...you didn't need to do that...

You said as he ducked his head one more time retching up another wave of what seemed to be the food from yesterday. The mess inside the toilet was unsettling, and it was definitely not helping with the situation, as well as the stench.

You pulled him back and while still rubbing his back you flushed the toilet.

You helped him so now he wasn't kneeling anymore and was sitting down. He rested his head on his hand while you held the other and rubbed his back from side to side.

- Here, baby. Rinse your mouth and take small sips.

- Thank you...

He said with a raspy voice that seemed to be hurting his throat. He rinsed his mouth and then drank a little bit, handing you the bottle.

- How are you feeling now?

'm still nauseous...

- Do you wanna try to take something and go to the bedroom?

- Not yet... I can feel something trapped...

As if on cue, whatever it was that was stuck triggered a sequence of gagging and retching and he was leaning over the toilet again. The unproductive gags turned into productive ones, with one wave following after the other. You were seriously surprised by how there were still things to come out.

- oh sweetie, I think it's really a stomach bug.

You said rubbing his back and supporting his forehead while he proceeded to vomit a few more times, the sounds of retching, wet burps, and liquid hitting liquid taking over the bathroom.

After what seemed to be 1h hour since he ran to the bathroom, his stomach decided to give him a break, although maintained the nausea. He was exhausted, completely drained, and if you weren't there he'd probably sleep in the bathroom.

He got away from the toilet leaning all his weight on your chest.

- Honey, do you think you're done?

- I hope so...I'm still nauseous but I don't feel like throwing up, at least not now.

- Wanna go lie down?

- Yes...

But when he moved to try standing up, he noticed how dizzy he was feeling.

- Okay, okay, it's ok. Sit down and take deep breaths.

He did as you told him but he felt completely empty, like he had thrown up a week's worth of meals.

- Do you want me to get Changbin?

- No, there's no need to. Just give me a minute.

You just sat there, rubbing his back and his hand as he tried to recollect himself so he could go back to his now-so-desired bed.

A few minutes after, he was okay to stand up and go back to his bedroom. You helped him up, wrapping your arms around him to help him steady himself.

- You good?

- Yeah...

- Sure? Because if you faint I can't carry you, Babe

You said laughing a little and he chuckled back at you.

- I won't.

- Okay.

You walked slowly with him, stopping at the sink so he could brush his teeth and he ended up vomiting a thin stream of bile and stomach juice but it seemed to be the last of it.

- Let's get you to the bedroom.

You still had your arms wrapped around him as you guided him to the bedroom.

You pulled the covers and helped him lie down and then covered him.

- I'll get a hoodie for myself, okay? And a bucket, just in case.

- Okay.

You had come in such a hurry and you were clearly tired you didn't want to open your bag to get clothes, and his were more comfy and had his scent.

He was lying down looking at you, smiling at how cute you looked with his oversized hoodie.

- Come here.

He said tapping the spot on the bed next to him, with the cutest smile.

You lay down next to him, looking into his eyes, and gently caressed his hair.

- I love your curly hair.

- And I love your eyes. They are beautiful, pure, sincere.

He said as he caressed your cheek. He then grabbed your hand and placed a kiss on it.

- Thank you for being here.

- I'm happy to be here.

You responded and then you told him to come closer so you could cuddle him.

- I'll be the big spoon today.

- I'm fine with that.

You kissed the top of his head, covered yourselves with the blanket, and stroked his back until he was fast asleep.

Chan was happy to have you and the kids and he could proudly say that all of you were his lifeline.

[sugary-spider]

Whats ur take on wambus.... I need more

..I don't have a lot of takes, but wambus I love him so much. A lot of never ask me for my takes on here../silly

WARNING : AXEL FUCKING RANTS A TON

I hate how hes mainly seen as this evil angry guy or just grumpy (mad yk) and its like..Yuck..A lot of people just would rather only view triffany as this saint and wambus is this evil bad guy. Sure hes mad lookin but like..Thats like saying filbo is dumb when he isn't, sure hes an sweet hyperactive guy thats prone to accidents but he isn't dumb. Thats an grown fucking man y'all.

I loved how he missed triffany so fucking much, he made an cactus literally look like her and as well as would basically (even from the one or two moments we seen it in gameplay) tell cactriffy about his day. And Y'ALL. Cactriffy is literally just cactus + triffy,, which is the nickname he gave to triffany!! And at best, you can just see how much he loves triffany from that and so much more.

Triffany work requires her to be away a lot, which is understandable but her and wambus literally had an farm together and wambuses whole issue was property and money. Farms are extremely hard to take care of, especially even with just two people. Wambus is an stubborn guy, and he loves his wife. He probably took care of that farm all by himself while triffany was away. I understand if y'all don't understand how farm and ranches are, but they're just..So hard to take care of. Especially with how utilities and so much more costs.

(this is coming from someone who just knows someone an good few ppl who like..literally grew up on an farm 60/40% of their lives this just me blabberin about that yk so my bad if I don't get the whole picture right. But like..Farms/ranches are so HARD to take care of unless you know what to do and such!! Like farms cost around 600 - 10000+)

So just imagine with how that feels, especially with how we know wambus is so okay with triffany going off on her own dreams while he was kinda struggling with his. He started an farm on the island because it was "more cheaper on mainland" and hes right, even if everyone was kinda shitting on him about it. But thats like his dream, and so much more. I like to even think wambus came from an huge or generational line of farmers, ranchers, just country-side work basically. Which would also make so much more sense in an way to understand how Wambus would understand heavily and support his wife on her journey and job of being an archeologist while also trying to find out what happend to her mom. Im not gonna shit on triffany either, but like. You gotta understand how wambus feels, he probably (and I think he did!! Pretty sure he did) lost the farm. And like I said, I like to think the farm was an family farm that was past down onto him. And he lost it.

I know triffany would try to console her husband, but she also now had to be this bread winner because of wambus losing this huge money maker but then just also caving underneath it due to all these taxes and so much more, that the list is just too much. Plus they're both workaholics so she probably never stayed long to console him or help him, only when she had to stay in an way she would or try to.

"Hes such an violent and angry guy! Triffany should leave him, hes so mean and-" Are we talking about the same guy? Cause NO WE ARE NOT?? He most likely has emotional dysregulation which is caused by stress!! And he just WENT through an stressful time period of his life!! (Stole this hc from an lovely bro ham of mine -> @loched-off 💪😼)

Also fear of failure. That can and is implied to be most reasons WHYYY he lashes out and hes always regretful of his actions by the way. Like when filbo got launched by an bunger due to his causing by throwing sauce at him,, and he was literally so regretful of it. Even asked the journalist to PLEASE check up on poor filbo.

Not to mention, probably due to his failure fears present and past, is kinda why people can see how triffany and wambus dynamic is 50/50 of great and needs some work.

But even then, triffany doesn't mean it. Shes looking out for wambus best interests, especially with how she knows wambus hates failure and hates failing so badly. Especially with how.hes gonna lash out, and view it as anything more than bugsnax not growing. He just lost his farm, something he worked so hard on. And now hes losing his little thesis of bugsnax growing..

And he did. He was so heart broken, and his voice you can just TELL this mans heart shattered into billions of peaces. Even if he has an not so hyperactive and has monotone tone in his voice, you can just..Still tell hes heart broken. He started giving up on HIMSELF, and hes STUBBORN Y'ALL.

DO YOU KNOW. HOW HARD,, AN STUBBORN PERSON HAS TO HIT ROCK BOTTOM TO BE LIKE..

"My hopes and all my work, was all for nothing. Im just an big ole failure."

Y'ALL. THIS MAN HAD ME CRYING AND NEEDING TO TAKE FIVE (You can tell im like..maybe more a wamby fan than a triffy one..I lobe blue hair and prns farmers....)

I like to think he also was made fun of for his feelings back then. Especially cause of like..Of grumpus world is like our world, him as an man would've been definitely made fun of for crying. Especially if this is..Something so heavy and meaningful to him,, he was definitely sobbing and pouring his heart out but only to be made fun of. Or had his problems seen as something so little..

And triffany *may* had accidentally had some help in it in an way, since she worked so much due to being an workalcoholic and its her passion. She loves archeology and wambus could never ever in an million years deny his wife of her happiness like she could never deny wambus his. Even though, that ended up with them fighting. Especially wambus putting his foot down on not wanting to be somewhere he can't grow plants other than cacti. Especially if he was so hyperfocused on sauce plants, and only ones that grow there are hot sauce or cheese,, but we seen wambus grow an wide variety. He wouldn't really wanna just only ever be able to grow two types of sauce plants.

Also just supperr self indulgent,, I like to think he has one or two actual degrees in some sort of botany or farm work..Plus hess ermm Audhd cause I said so. Sorry NOT sorry. <3

Also, I have an BUNCH. Of wambus hcs :3

-> Wambus is hispanic,, (You can pick whatever one, just I like mexican wambus a lot..)

-> Knows spanish, especially cause he lived in an heavy spanish speaking area.

-> Always worked on an farm/countryside, he loves talking about his childhood. You can tell by how much he smiles when talking about it

-> An shy kid in public due to his family always wanting him to speak english heavily in school, but was an rowdy kid that would say curses in spanish

-> He LOVES dogs and cats. He had an hunting dog when he was little, also talks about that dog a lot. Her name was brownie .. Had an barn cat or two, both were name Charolette and Scarlett.. :3

-> Was held back an grade or two, only because of how he worked more than was in school. But he isn't dumb, hes slicker than a fox.

-> he is TEXAN. Take it or leave it /silly

-> Hes an introvert extrovert heavily. Just due to people getting off putted by his natural 'bitch face' a lot of people don't talk to him.

-> Knows a lot about death, especially since he lived on an farm. One of his jobs he would've been fine with is an flower guy for funerals.

-> He *has* an childhood gothic friend. They talk alottt.. (is this based an oc x canon dynamic from me and my partners au?..Maybe..You'll never know sorry not sorry)

-> Due to the two other hcs,, its also how triffany was drawn to him heavily. Just..so heavily, cause he never overreacted to her funfacts and really really gruesome and horrifically details facts other than asking more about it. Cause he genuinely wanted to know.

-> I will NEVER. Give up my most famous hc of wambus being an girl dad.

-> Hes also really good with kids surprisingly. Even though his back would be hurting so much, he will teach kids how to climb trees safely or not, and go on and on about his own childhood stories. Once taught/told an kid about the time he ran away from bees. Spent the day helping the lil' kiddo try to find an bee hive before an accident happend and they both ended up stung badly.

-> He loves summer and spring..Especially spring, he gets so giddy about it.

-> Youngest. He is the baby of his family, was always picked on but is now the strongest between them. Gets called little blue or baby ox tho. They make fun of him but hes gotten used to it..💔

Thats it..Just I LOVEEE wambus. Ty for asking my opinion on him..Hes my favorite and I genuinely wish people loved him just as much as people loved triffany..

[talisidekick]

Thanks for being so compassionate! As someone who's had to defend himself from assault pre transition and assault and attempted trafficking during transition which has contributed to some agoraphobia centered on thoughts like "damn, wasn't safe off T not safe on it", it's been rlly scary seeing ppl shrug off how transmascs are endangered in real life in service of discrediting transandro discourse. Cool seeing who's really real I guess????? anyways hope you're well and warm. Srry about my run on sentence lmao

There is absolutely nothing to apologize for. We only get to see one side publically, and that's pretty much just trans women issues. Media likes to cover just us. I rarely see news stories about just trans men. We don't see the stories about trans men getting stalked or followed around in stores by total strangers, getting attacked in public, rarely a mention if a trans man gets killed. It's happening but you don't see it. You don't see a flood of forum posts about the constant dismissal of, unique brand of hatred around, or the types of dangers faced by trans men.

My introduction to questioning my gender was actually FROM transandrophobia. The reason for this is I've had more of a curvy figure since ... well forever, even though my body was producing T on it's own. I got A LOT of compliments on it by pretty much all my friends (which were mostly girls, and yes that probably should have been a sign but I'm a bit thick sometimes, okay?) because I was "unconventionally sexy" because of it. I'm now remembering I do have a shirtless picture somewhere from before I was on HRT ... I'll work up the nerve to show that at some point to prove that point. Anywho, because of this, a random ass stranger had been following me as I went to grab a few things from a walmart after my shift. It was weird as fuck. Uncomfortably close, constantly looking at me but not what they were pretending to, and I kind of knew this dick was waiting until there was no one in the aisle before pulling something. I'd been mugged before at 14 and 15 so at 24 I was kind of like "I'm not getting stabbed in a damn Walmart" and just made sure to be quick. I got out of the store and met up with some old work friends and just let them know someone was following me and I wanted to wait them out. Props to my friends at the time, they bullseyed the dude (to be fair he wasn't being stealthy) and called him out. And he yelled back "You'll never be a real man" to me. My friends laughed at him because as far as we all knew, I was cis. But this would happen two more times in the same week. A lady would tell me I shouldn't be doing "this" to myself with a full body gesture, and that god "loves" me; and a college colleague flat out dismissed my concerns on something because "only a real man would need to worry about that". It got me wondering if this was a new fad, to hate on someones manliness, and upon looking that up I learned about what exactly transgender meant, the experiences of trans men and women (just a bit on women, my concern was on trans men at the time), and thought it was kind of cool there were people who'd know two sides to the gender spectrum. But it must SUCK to have to go through the bullshit I did and actually be affected by it. Like, no one has any right to tell another man they're less of one.

This whole situation would actually come back to help me 2 years later in finding myself. I'd only really looked up trans men and curiosity mid covid lock down would lead me to look up non-binary and then trans women. However, transandrophobia is how I, a trans woman, got her start. So it boils my blood when I see people talk about T being toxic or trans men having it easier. It shows a complete lack of understanding and a lack of acceptance and willingness to empathize. Trans men and trans mascs have different issues, that doesn't make them lesser, and while those issues may not affect me, it doesn't make it less of my problem to help deal with where I can. I know certain issues I'll have no experience on, no idea how to help, but that doesn't mean I can't still offer to be support. Everyone should be doing the same, and shame on those who aren't.

You deserve equal treatment and support in your fight for it, not dismissal. Those that dismiss the issues of trans men aren't allies, they're transphobes. And fuck transphobes.

[composeregg]

wanted to join in on that meta post by saying yeah, even if we view joker’s and akechi’s relationship as special compared to the others, akechi is still written under the constraints of p5, and an antagonist to boot. like. vanilla had his confidant as automatic bc (iirc) they thought they couldn’t fit it in properly! which is crazy, even tho the automatic rank ups have an interesting implication (such as, akechi will always be rank 10 by the end no matter what you do). i understand that ppl probably wanted someone to talk sense into the thieves for their unwittingly callous actions, but not by the guy who decided to go thru with his 11/20 plan lol

(this post)

YEAH like, I love Akechi. I adore him. But I have SO many OPINIONS about this mans. like. I'm not going berate anyone for how they write characters, that's the freedom of fandom, but I am going to stand over here with my opinions and contrary thoughts and chitchat about them in my space

I know that very often it is because people want someone to refute what canon has shown us (because canon's writing disagrees with it's desired goals as mentioned in that post). They want someone to go "Look at Joker, look at what's happened to him, don't you care? How risky this was?"

But okay I'm actually going to back up a bit!

(this got long)

What other choice was there for 11/20?

Because the answer is not "they could have taken Akechi in a fight."

The goals of the interrogation room/metaverse plan:

Escape with Joker alive

Trick Shido and the conspiracy into believing Joker has died

and you know? you know? you cannot do that latter bullet point if you just beat up Akechi

So enlighten me. How, exactly, were the thieves supposed to come up with a different plan in under 20 days? One where Joker would live, where the conspiracy would believe he had died, and importantly, one that at that point in time cannot count on Akechi being a turncoat. They have no reason to trust that he would

"Don't you care about how risky this was? There had to have been other ways."

We don't get Shido's name as Akechi's employer here until after the phonecall reporting the death, I believe. They cannot change Shido's heart in time to avert this because they do not have the information. The interrogation room plan, genuinely, was one of the smartest ideas they had. It accomplished exactly what they needed to. These are teens in a life-or-death situation, who notoriously have MANY trust issues with adults for good reason, especially since society is so corrupt that a hitman can easily walk into a police department and assassinate a high-profile criminal and get away with it with help (remember the guard at the door?) The other options are basically "change your identity and flee the country" or "literally actually die" lets be real here!

SO

Akechi, let's be honest with ourselves here, would primarily be pissed off that the thieves got one over on him! And if he is concerned about the lasting trauma of it all, or how risky the plan was, he is seeing this and approaching it from the angle of knowing it worked.

(Better options for sense-talking: Sojiro! Sojiro is right there! Takemi! Iwai! Kawakami! Yoshida! All important responsible adult figures to Joker and at least some of the thieves.)

In my opinion if Akechi wants to snark at the thieves about the plan in any way regarding how much it fucks up Joker and how it was risky, they are more than allowed to fire back shots at him for making it necessary and shooting Joker in the head in the first place.

I think people often use it as a shorthand, to show that Akechi cares about Joker, but also as a way to emphasize the importance of Akechi to Joker (compared to the rest of the thieves). It's easier to ignore the fact that he killed two of the thieves's parents when it comes to Joker being in a relationship with him, as long as it can be shown that he's the one that really cares. That he wouldn't put Joker through something so fucked up with his care (hilarious, laughable, he shot Joker in the head). It separates "Akechi and Joker" from all the phantom thieves in a way.

(Honestly sometimes it feels like ship bashing/character bashing but for ALL the phantom thieves with how intensely some people write it! beyond even the point of exploring Atlus fucking up characterization to pretend to have a blank slate silent protag)

BUT like I said in the post, it also points out a major flaw with convincing players that the rest of the thieves DO care in the game. Because the thieves are never really given a chance to show that. It's implied, and it's clear the game wants you to believe they care, but we don't get scenes addressing specific stuff like this enough.

Joker is confident, and cocky, we see that with that bastard smile in the interrogation room after getting "shot" in those cutscenes. It is genuinely a plan to be proud of, and it hails back to his original persona being Arsène. Arsène, who escaped from prison simply by disguising himself and pretending he had already escaped and put a body double in his place. Arsène, who pulled off a robbery while in jail. Arrogant and self-assured and cocky, the interrogation room plan is genuinely something the likes that would be worthy of Arsène's name.

He can be proud of the plan, and also traumatized by it. But he actively agreed to this plan, probably helped come up with it (where does everyone get the idea that it was Makoto's plan? genuine question). Joker is not a hapless victim of other's whims, he also had agency. So many of the parallels between Joker and Akechi are how they exercise what agency they have while being stripped of traditional power and victimized by society.

Honestly? Honestly? In my personal opinion, having Akechi berate the thieves for the plan is disrespectful to his rivalry with Joker, along with his own characterization.

He holds Joker as his equal. Equal in agency, in skill. If he looks at Joker and says, "why would you go along with such a foolish plan?" if he looks at the thieves and says "why would you ever put your precious leader through this?" he is taking away Joker's agency and choices. One of Akechi's focal points is agency. If he sees Joker as equal in this, and he denies Joker his agency, he is also taking it away from himself.

Akechi's cocktail of emotions regarding the assassination can manifest in so many different ways, and he can translate that to anger at the thieves rather than himself for putting Joker through that, but that would be his emotions regarding himself being misdirected more than anything.

Akechi has too much respect for Joker to deny Joker his agency in a plan that was good enough to fool him.

Respecting agency and admiring a brilliantly crafted plan also doesn't mean ignoring trauma that ocurred from actions taken under duress.

(At least, it doesn't mean that as long as you're not Atlus)

[1218-814]

Jade Leech Analysis and Theories

Again this is for myself, loosely based off of what other ppl think, but he's my kin so I may be biased

requested by @thehollowwriter

His actual Personality (Iced Tea Theory) and his hobby

No one has actually gotten Jade's trust and trusted him back. He's desperately trying though, but he's not getting the right idea of how. His actual personality is frozen, but the only one that comes the closest to helping him is surprising: Kalim Al-Asim.

For Jade, you have to dump a ton of sugar (sweet love) into the tea.

Remember what he said in response to the tea?

"It feels like all my teeth will fall out."

What is Jade's unique magic written as?

"The teeth that bite."

I'm going to call Jade's actual personality iced tea for this reason.

Also, the mushrooms are a metaphor, as well as Jack’s cacti, for personality. Jack and the Octavinelle trio are from a cold place, Jack comes from the snowy region and Octavinelle comes from the icy ocean. Cacti grow poorly in cold places, which equals undeveloped Jade, which needs some sun and warm air to grow. It’s odd how suddenly there’s the story about a cactus and the detailed reason just to go to the greenhouse. And how much they emphasized that Jack is from a snowy country.

Jack said that he wanted to get his cactus some light in the greenhouse, and Octavinelle showed up, together, which is weird to me. 

Maybe this is what happened in the even (as in odd or even) chapters with Octavinelle. Ace and Deuce don’t seem to have memories of Atlantica Museum, and other positive things in that arc. Maybe the one who blotted was Jade? (There are different plot lines if you look closely, wasn’t it odd that you see how Malles was feared in the main story, but not in Halloween events? Even in part 5 how Ace and Deuce were like “long time no see” when you saw them before the end of 4?)

I think even at this point, his clinginess hasn’t resolved; so Azul and Floyd are accepting it, saying to him “Let’s change it little by little”. I mean it’s hard for someone like Jade, who lives for someone else to be just told “live for yourself!”.

I mean Azul asks him what he should do when Jack ruined his mushrooms; which I assume is letting him decide what he wants to do, as a part of helping him live his own life.

Jade talks to someone he doesn’t know from him, and the mushrooms are near a “sunny place” (with cloth). Azul insults him with a serious face and Floyd calls them “mushrooms” not “shitake”. Jade being in the middle is especially the weirdest. This is highly unlike them, and I think they want to “face Jade properly more”. 

Jade fake cried, which I assume is a form of therapy; even if it’s fake, it’s teaching him “that it’s okay to cry, tell us your feelings”.  Yes, even if Jack worked at Mostro Lounge, he has no merit, but Floyd said “Yeah let’s do that.”, which is a really good response because if he said that he would have no merit, the situation would go back to “listening to others, instead of yourself”.

He dragged the whole thing, and Floyd oddly didn’t complain about it, and he touched Jack’s ears. I think he wanted to do that from the beginning, and he didn’t go “Oya oya Floyd” and ignore his own thoughts/opinion. And Floyd said that they were “Jade’s treasure”, as opposed to in Jade’s lab coat when he said to throw it away.

Jade's heart is expressed as teeth, something sharp/hard and protected, and in Jack's lab coat story, I also assume the reason why they put the mushrooms in a sunny place is that it's a metaphor for Jade's real self-being "defrosted." Remember what Jack did? He threw Jade’s mushrooms away. I think this is expressing what people have done to him; the softest part of his heart is trampled and thrown away "for the time being" and "somehow" Jack and Jade are on opposite teams on Beans Day, probably because Jack is Jade's "Night", but Azul is Jade's "Day".

Jade wants to be defrosted by Azul, and that's why his relationship with him is co-dependent.

Jades and diamonds are kind of similar in a way; Diamonds are the toughest stone but are brittle. Jades are not as hard and easy to scratch, but they have a very strong toughness and are hard to break. (Cater and Jade)

Jade and his little… attachment Issues

Jade is so silly,  we all know he’s lowkey psychotic and loves Azul but he himself most likely doesn’t. I personally relate to him heavily and know most likely what he is thinking so let me explain his attachment to Azul. Think of Jade as a little child, or Ariel from the little mermaid, but she’s, like, 190 cm.

Do you know those people that are attached to one person? Jade is basically that with Azul, but a little hard (?) to tell. So you know how I said that Jade grows mushrooms because Azul praised him once for it? That is why he has that attachment; this goes for why he takes care of Floyd, it's something that he was praised for, something that gives him an “identity”.

He visibly sighs during flying classes, which reflects how it’s a very weak point for him while he’s very good at other things, so when he can’t do something less than another person can, it makes him stand out more. No praise no gain.  I know this is probably harder for people who aren’t like Jade to understand but basically, if you get praised by someone that you think understands you about something that you didn’t really know about yourself, you are like “Oh I didn’t know that!”. However, what he doesn’t know is that Azul doesn’t really understand Jade as much as Jade thinks. So when Azul says he’s someone that is “good at getting into people’s comfort”, he doesn’t really mean it as praise, but Jade takes it as one. His thought process is basically “If Azul, someone who I trust has good judgment because he always knows what people desire and what their weak points are, then there is no doubt that I am a bad guy who puts on a gentle and humble mask.”, and he believes that fake identity (also kinda gullible) as is. 

To Azul, he doesn’t trust Jade because he appears to have no desires that are to be gained through his contracts. It's fake but in a self-protection-type way. That illusion that he makes for himself makes him look strong, but deep down he is a very sensitive child. And that is why he became so attached to the little crybaby who spews out ink; he thinks they are the same in how sensitive and scared they are. Both haven’t been like this from the beginning, and that’s why Jade doesn’t fear the scheming personality of Azul. This also could apply to why he is okay with Trey (who is like him, but nice (?) and why he isn’t as close with Vil (who is someone who was born strong and honest about himself). Azul doesn’t notice because of hits low self-esteem

Just on a side note, I think Jade hates people who write stuff like this. This is a call-out post to some of the Jade kins out there. AKA me

~~~

I pulled this one out of the grave too

This is a small chunk of Octa, the google doc I have is 50+ pages

They're like a lot of context needed bc I post my old posts out of order so if there's a request, I am willing to pull those out

[nezz-cringe-crib]

teru mikami analysis bc i love him

hi i'm just here to rant about how much i love teru mikami's character because he's genuinely such a well written character. this is probably gonna be unorganized and just rambly. i might rewrite it later but for now i just need another reason to procrastinate and focus on my silly emos.

(oh yeah also spoilers if that isn't obvious)

-------------------------------------------------------------

mikami is probably one of the best representations of religious trauma (at least imo and from what i've seen). i haven't read the manga yet and a lot of this might just be me projecting, but either way he's still the top in my books. there's SO many scenes and details about him that remind me so much of myself when i was still heavily involved with christianity (and to be clear, this is my own interpretation, not me tryna shit on any religions. that's a big wompwomp no-no. respect ppl hoes). so here's some random bits about mikami that make me go "OH SHIT ME-CORE ALERT!!!!":

the entire thing with his mom. i know that when he reflects back on his mom's death, he talks about how he's happy the whole thing happened because "she's evil and god killed the evil for me thanks god" but i completely believe the whole thing is just him brainwashing himself. like think about it for a second. his mom just died in the same car crash that involved his main tormentors, and this was also right after he was holding a slight grudge against his mom for defending said tormentors (she obviously didn't do that. she was just trying to help mikami view the world from a more realistic point of view to keep him out of trouble, but when you're that young and that passionate about justice, to him it'll seem like she's defending the same evil he's trying to fight). when you combine these things together, this is just gonna lead to a WHOLE lot of conflicted and lost feelings, and we see that in mikami. he had just been through a rough conversation with his mom, and she died before he could even get a chance to really think about said convo. all he is left with is a mixed feeling of loss, resentment, and fear. however, on the other hand, her death meant that the tormentors she was defending had also died. so to him, it has to mean something, doesn't it? the group of bastards that had been ruining his and others' lives and had finally been rid of. and if this had happened right after his mother had been defending them, it has to be a sign, right? there has to be a reason for all this hurt, right? when mikami is viewing the world through these lenses, it makes sense that'd he'd suddenly want a reason to justify his mom's death, even though it feels unbelievably cruel. so he finds a reason, and he finds that reasoning through god. this is honestly something that i used to do a lot when i was still heavily invested in my church, and i'm sure there are others who have been in the same situation. when the world is unjustifiably cruel, people will make up justification for it. it's a fear tactic that many people fall prey to in religious environments, and if not treated, it can fester into much more toxic environments for the people around them.

^^^ tldr: mikami copes with his mom's death by telling himself "it's okay that my mom died!! she was working for satan and god had to kill her!! thanks god!!" and if that's not the most religious-trauma-core shit out there then idk what is.

ALSO LITERALLY JUST EVERYTHING WITH LIGHT'S DEATH???? YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THAT SHIT HURT MAN. the realization that your god is not the god you thought you had been following used to be some of the scariest shit out there to me and mikami had it thrown right at his face when light died. not only was his god gone, but his god was never a god to begin with. he was just some guy. some pathetic guy who was now bleeding out and screaming on the ground. he had dedicated his life to this thing, and it was never real to begin with. and so he dies with it. because when the god revolving your life is gone, what other life do you really have? mikami was the perfect fucking example of that and i need it to be talked about more fucking please guys he's literally just like me fr i swear.

that's all i can think of right now tbh. if there's any typos in here no there isn't you're wrong nuhuh. anyways i fucking love mikami's character. he might be an antisocial autistic boyloser edgelord but he's MY antisocial autistic boyloser edgelord and i will defend him with my life. that hoe did EVERY wrong thing but your honor he is just a silly guy.

[kamiko1234]

Okay done with chapter 10 starting with chapter 11 of The Lightning Thief, and normally I planned on not making a post on every single chapter BUT, I do have some changes/additions in my traitor theories.

So first off, Annabeth is the traitor. SO far has the most prove in the book imo (which is till meager), but I REALLY don't like how she told Percy that they HAVE to not get along because of their parents. Personally I just think that's more proof for my "Annabeth is the traitor" theory.

She was pretty nice to Percy pre-claiming, and on the bus she did fully intend sacrificing herself for him. But she also seems to have this very deep anchored world view of how their parents should affect them and their actions.

So, I modify my theory : Annabeths a traitor, but will get a redemption arc. The reason for the betrayal stays the same, her mom and her rivalry with Poseidon. And Annabeth would think that she NEEDS to betray Percy bc she's the kid of her mom.

So instead of being a malicious traitor, she'd be more like a tragic, indoctrinated villain who needs to be shown to do better ! It most definitely would be interesting.

HOWEVER, this is based of the reaction of another friend when I talked to them about my theories and they reacted very...... weird. After some time I threw in Grover being the traitor more as a joke and while not SAYING anything, that silence was SHOUTING.

So, Grover being the traitor. Canon proof ? Not rly there. Would it be one hell of a plot twist ? YES. Could be bitterness maybe ? My impression was that Satyrs were sort of servants or atleast bellow halfbloods in some way. I could deffo see him getting worked up over that.

Then however he did have a close relationship with Percy and a GOOD reason to stay loyal to get his license. So may I present : Multi-book build up of Grover betraying Percy.

With that I mean, should Grover be the traitor I think he wouldn't betray Percy in this book. Chiron said smth about prophecies having double meanings, so I assume they can be kinda wacky. Imagine Grover slowly building resent against the demi gods for how they use his ppl as tools/servants, and betrays Percy/the halfbloods as a whole in a later book. It could be a cool moment where the thing mentioned in the first book comes back around !

I do however admit myself, that theory is a WILD. Like, WILD WILD. And my only thing to go off on is the silence of my friend and the emoji's they send as a response. Take that theory with the BIGGEST grain of salt.

The third option I think possible : The traitor isn't gonna be Annabeth OR Grover, but will be a character later introduced. Comes from me starting to think that Annabeth could be a bit obvious with the whole sudden switch in how she acts with Percy making it a bit obvious. And the Grover theory being borderline crack.

That option would be my fav, since tbh I don't RLY want Annabth to go villain (even if the redemtion arc would be juicy as hell) but I also don't want Grover to start resenting his friends.

Logically speaking I do think it's Annabeth more likely than Grover tho. (Considering I now have theories for both being the traitor we're basically back to square one. Kill me, please.)

ON ANOTHER NOTE; apparently it's quite common for the author to describe scars as ugly looking and evil. (Thanks to the wonderful user who gave me that info !) Which, first off, YIKES. Not good, like at all.

That fact does however help me with my theory, since it allows me to safely eliminate one character for sure now. Luke !

I mean, I already didn't think it was him. The only thing that made me peek up was when he was described as evil-looking in that one paragraph. But if that (sadly) apparently is a norm, then it more likely than not wasn't foreshadowing.

So yeah, it's not gonna be Luke so I can just start to safely ignore him in my traitor theories. (Not like I ever considered him a real candidate in the first place, he's just safely eliminated in my head now)

[ghostherlig]

no no let’s get you started on talking about railao breeding kink! (I meant to send that yesterday but completely forgot 🤣 please talk about railao and trans railao and t4t railao please I am so starved and desperate for them. Also, moment of silence for the lost fics, that is literally the worst feeling in the world 🫡🙏😭)

ASDKLJFHDA- railao breeding kink never leaves my brain i wish i was joking-

i really do have to write a fic about them (which technically the western au is gonna be my top priority once the collaring fic is done and they're going to be a big part of that- (and once it get bATTERIES FOR MY MOUSE AND KEYBOARD-))

also thank you, moment of silence 🫡😔

okay here's my trans railao rant bc i cant contain myself (under the cut bc it gets long and also nsfw warning- includes trans raiden, trans lao, and t4t railao)

i love love love trans raiden- i think lao brags about his everything for a reason and i think raiden knows that intimately- trans raiden whose always had a smaller chest and never felt the need to bind and just worked out to get his chest how he wanted it- raiden who has little to no shame about undressing around ppl bc he grew up in a small village and everyone knew and was fairly supportive :) lao who was ultra extra supportive and helped raiden since boyhood feel more comfortable with who he was and how he presented himself- hasldfkjasd they are so soft i love them

anyway- lao def also takes the strap when raiden feels like topping, and you bet lao makes that all about raiden- literally all the praise and affirmations for him as lao absolutely loses his mind as his boyfriend takes him apart like he gets paid to- raiden who had the biggest breeding kink and likes to get stuffed but also loves stuffing lao even more- they for sure have an ejaculating strap on just so raiden can make an absolute mess out of lao aslkdjfhasdf

trans lao had a lot more insecurities as a kid to me, wasnt necessarily afraid of telling ppl bc they would be hateful but was afraid bc he wanted to be only a man in their eyes- like he was scared they would see him differently than he really was- but raiden helped him with his self-confidence (a little too much, some might say-) and that's why lao talks big game- though often he can follow through, there's a limit to the things he's done and can be good at first try

trans lao who absolutely goads raiden into stuffing him full at every possible convenience- before training? why not- we got twenty minutes and an empty closet, no one's coming by here- it's almost five am and we have training in half an hour, that leaves them plenty of time to have raiden stuff him full and clean him up after- lao is so tempting and raiden falls for it every time, the poor man

lao also loves absolutely breaking raiden down with a strap on- whenever he has the energy to he teases raiden until he's fit to burst and then makes him wait while lao goes to grab everything they need- pillow princess raiden is so near and dear to my heart aasldfkjdf he deserves it :)

railao with one of them being trans is always fantastic but t4t railao really has my heart- t4t railao where both of them grew up and learned how to be themselves together, both kind of figuring it out and coming out at the same time, going through the awkward spots together and helping each other through it- asldkfhasdf them having that friends to lovers slow burn where it takes them like five years, three life crises, and almost the end of the world to realize that they love each other-

t4t railao where they both crave the closeness of the other so much so that it's maddening and they end up forgetting where one starts and the other ends-

any version of railao that knows where the other is in a room at all times, even blindfolded they could find each other in dead silence, i swear- railao with that soul tie bc they've spent so long together that they've become basically inseparable, literally a package deal, where one goes the other does too-

asdlfkjasdf i love railao so much i need to spend more time writing them- new year's resolution: write railao-

[woodchipp]

Hi there! I came across your post dissecting Omocat's Motivational Speech. I decided to read it with a friend of mine and holy crap-HOW did ANYONE read that and NOT see this person as a horrible jerkhole?! Seriously, we saw WAY more red flags in this writing BESIDES the ones you pointed out?! I usually don't say anything, but I couldn't keep quiet with what was put here:

"the stress will be there. you can overcome it but it will not go away"

Why are they making stress as something that can never leave after encountering something that causes it??? It CAN go away! One simply just TAKE A BREAK FROM IT, or STOP DOING WHAT'S STRESSING THEM OUT! There's no reason to make stress out as this force that permanently looms over a person after introduction. If that's the case, more human beings would be dying from that (it's one of the aiding factors to a lot of serious health problems and a lethal one on its own)!

"The next thing is to know you are not alone on this. We have a team of, I don't now, 10 ppl here everyday working. I can vouch that you are all, for the most part, nice people."

For the MOST part??? So Omocat doesn't truly believe that the people slaving away in making their game, and are considered as FRIENDS by them, are nice people??? Guess that makes sense considering how Omocat treated them behind the scenes. Why show kindness to people if one doesn't believe that they deserve it, right?

"There are some people who have more work than others, so I ask for those who have a bit less on their shoulders to remain courteous. It's distracting and feels really bad to hear laughter or people enjoying themselves when you have so much wor to do."

This MAY sound reasonable at first glance, but my friend immediately point out that this is manipulative language to shame and guilt trip employees into not complaining about mistreatment or taking much needed breaks from working. Coporate companies LOVE to use this kind of talk to keep employees in line by playing on their sympathy to help their fellow man, and the fear of being singled out and hated by everyone in the workforce.

"Thinking of all the choices I made down the line could have led to a different possible worse situation. This kind of thinking needs a certain level of humility"

Oh really? Cause Melonkid DID suffer the worse situation from not only not being paid royalties, was mistreated while working on this game, but is being ganged up by former coworkers AND most fans of the game! On top of being lied on to be painted as mentally unstable! So uh...way to make this line moot, Omocat.

"Another thing that helps is the way I view deadlines. Deadlines are deadlines. They are immovable. They are above me, like higher beings."

THIS shocked us. Not only is it unprofessional to say such a thing to employees, but...WHY??? I'm not joking when my friend asked if Omocat's studio is stationed outside of America, because to portray deadlines as a deity when this is a LITERAL talk to a literal dev team? Yeah, that's cult talk.

"Think of deadlines as a demon you have to continually give nourishment and sacrifice to or else it will destroy our game/ And everytime you work on the game, finish something. you're saying fuck you to that demon"

Okay, these are no longer red flags anymore, these lines are just Omocat conditioning employees with cultist mentality to have control over them as they work on the game. Moving the deadline is impossible because it's a being higher than our existence, so stop asking to have it moved so you can rest. Don't you dare take anymore breaks than the limited amount I am allowing YOU to have, or else the "demon" destroys all our hard work and you will be to blame for it. That's what these lines are actually saying. In what way is this suppose to be motivating? In what way is this NOT evoking an ominous sense of danger from this person?

"It actually means so much to me that I have to pull back on a lot of emothons since I have a natural tendency to take everything to do with this game really personally."

Yet that's exactly what Omocat did with the Melonkid situation. Instead of handling the whole thing professionally, like a person who owns a business is SUPPOSE to do, they instead acted like this employee had ruined their life with handling financial affairs over royalties. Goodness, out of the many speeches I had read online out of controversies, THIS one was the most blatant in the person's true colors. The fact that none of the fans see this is beyond disturbing, it just shows the growing trend of victim blaming that is putting actual victims in danger. Yet, allow horrible people to take advantage of the narrative as long as they play things right.

holy shit I absolutely did NOT catch that "for the most part" part. that's peak passive-aggressiveness

Given that she apparently also mistreated her ex-manager (who was a friend of hers as well), I'm not surprised that this is the way she seems to treat people she considers "friends". It's still immensely disgusting, sure, but it's not all that surprising.

Personally, I wouldn't go as far as to claim that her equating deadlines with a demon is "cult talk", but yeah, I can't possibly see how such rhetoric is supposed to be even remotely motivational. "nourishment and sacrifice" Jesse what the fuck are you talking about

Also... how is giving the "demon" nourishment saying "fuck you" to it?what a thoughtful metaphor

my joke theory that the devs exhausted the Kickstarter money on huge amounts of weed is seeming more and more plausible by the day huh

The fact that none of the fans see this is beyond disturbing

As I've mentioned before, this kind of controversy would've completely erased any other developer off the face of the Internet by now. But since Omocat is responsible for making a game specifically tailored to appeal to the sensibilities of Tumblr/Twitter users, she's pretty much inviolable :)

[infiniteorangethethird]

hey! sorry if this is weird but would u mind explaining what being "loveless" means? like in the way people say "loveless aro" or "loveless apl" etc

Heya there, not a weird question at all! However I do wanna preface this by saying that other ppl in the community might have different experiences with the term than I do, different reasons for identifying with it, so just keep in mind that as almost everything, being loveless is a spectrum and others might have slightly varying definitions of it.

I'll give a shorter, more generic reply, and then a longer explanation of my own relationship with the word, hopefully it'll be enough to paint a picture to anyone new to the term. (If not, feel free to ask follow-up questions! I love talking abt this stuff lol)

In general terms, loveless is pretty much what it says on the lid. The LGBTQIA+ wiki describes it as someone who "is in some way disconnected from the concept of love, does not feel love, may doubt that they feel love, or rejects the idea that they need to experience love". Basically, someone who doesn't feel love, or feels it in a way so disconnected from how other people seem to experience it that calling it love would feel disingenuous, wrong. Ppl who identify as loveless are usually reclaiming a word that has been used against them so many times - essentially saying "actually I don't feel love (the way society expects me to) and that is okay".

In terms of my personal experience: from what I can have seen, when people say they love someone, what they mean is an emotional desire to be with someone - to spend time with them, to talk to them, to make them happy, make sure they are safe and well. You get the gist. The important parts to consider here are the fact that it is an emotion, and that it is directed at a person/concept, not the actions surrounding that person/concept. It doesn't matter what you do or what the other person does, you want to spend time with them, even if it would need you to do or try things you otherwise wouldn't even think about doing. (The trope of "going to see a movie you hate but your loved one loves" comes to my mind.) You don't desire the actions, you desire the person, so to speak.

And this is exaclty the thing I don't experience. When I spend time with people, I do it with the expectation that I get something out of the interaction - a good time, help or support, a listening ear to my current brainrot, whatever, which I "pay back" by offering my support, my help, my listening ear when the other party needs it. I am not drawn towards people but rather experiences - and if those experiences involve or are made better by involving others, it matters little to me who those others are, so long as the experience itself is not ruined. It's always so strange to me when people go into things they don't really enjoy just to appease someone they love - if you don't want to do it, then why do it when someone else wants you to? And even more so: why do you want to spend time with someone when every interaction you have with them makes you unhappy, makes you suffer? ("They sometimes treat me badly but I can't just stop loving them" is a sentiment I hear a lot and don't understand at all.)

But most people don't view relationships as exchanges of goods and services, and have an expectation of this emotional drive from the other party. This emotional drive is what I'm missing, and this lack of drive is the reason I choose to call myself loveless. It might be tempting to assume that I choose to not feel love, that I am deliberately distancing myself from people, but trust me: I've tried for many many years to force myself to love others, but emotions don't exactly work like that. Me calling myself loveless is accepting that there's an emotion others experience that I don't, and that it's okay to not be able to feel love. It frees me of the expectations I have been putting on myself for so long.

I hope this helps answering your question 😊 other loveless ppl feel free to add onto this, the more thoughts shared the merrier!

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

THE ASK ABT JOBS SUGURU WOULD HAVE ,,,,,, i love thinking abt it thats my favorite subject EVA !!!! [thats a lie suguru as a whole is my favorite subject teehee :3]

ur SOOO right abt him being in law 2 help ppl ,,,,,, SO right w the idea of him walking around w a briefcase + slicked back ponytail + coffee GOHDDDD ok . okay . jobs I THINK suguru would have LETS GO !!

CERAMICIST - hed make these insane pots + sculptures n have showcases that r BOOKED like ,,, hes just so ,,,, pottery person 2 me,,,, n i feel like hed have a focus on using old pottery methods n keeping them alive in the modern day ,, like hes got some crazy intricate jomon pots, porcelain bowls + other kitchenware, n probs some bizen pots that he made dotted around his garden ,,,,, WAUGHHH I LOEV ART HISTORY

TATTOO ARTIST - ok . popular hc BUT STILL . hes worked his way up from being an apprentice in a huge shop -> owning his own lil studio pretty fast n hes GOOD . like hes got a rlly nice set of flashes that r colorful n playful but on himself hes probably got these super serious grayscale marbles and mythology plastered all over him [except for a family portrait mimiko + nanako made when they were like . 6 that he thought was so cute he got it tattooed on him] also i dont think hed b SUUPER in2 tattooing ppls names on other ppl or on himself, but maybe once u two have been dating for a LONGG while or r even almost a solid decade into marriage hed consider getting your name tatted somewhere hidden-but-not-really-hidden [womb tattoo, around the back of his ear, inner thigh]

MARINE BIOLOGIST - oHH MY GOHD OH MY GOHD OHHHHH MY GOHD i get super excited abt this cuz i wanna b a marine biologist SO BADDDDDD . its coming . TRUST !!!! anyway, he probably does some type of conservation bcuz . cmon . look at him . so he dives pretty often, like a weekly typa thing, BUT IMAGINE HIM IN THE SCUBA OUTFIT . he comes out sopping wet n hes probably rlly hot 4 a solid minute b4 the Stench hits u since ur both in an enclosed space and he smells like the underside of a dock.

CLASSICAL MUSICIAN - u know how i was talking abt how suguru would b a cellist ? yeah hed b a DAMN GOOD cellist like that man is principal cellist and hes so nice abt it 2 ,,, like he doesn't flaunt it and whenever someone in his section needs help w bowings or smthn else he gladly helps them !! he probably solos a ton on the tuba 2 ,,, like hes just SO GOOD at everything he picks up its insane

CONDUCTOR - same vein as the classical musician thing, he would b such a fine ass conductor ,,,,, like his facial expressions when the music gets intense and then it softens and hes swaying with the orchestra, hands gliding through the air ,,, also hed just b rlly good at keeping ppl in time and figuring out what each section was doing wrong.

oki thats my 2 cents on the whole thing ill get off my soapbox now dhhdhd :3

ASHLEY i’m finally getting to this…… these are all so bigbrained it’s crazy . AND I’M SO GLAD YOU SEE THE LAWYER!SUGU VISION <3333 he means the world 2 me….. silly little guy……

BUT WAHHH. CERAMIST SUGU THE LOML????? there’s this one stsg fic i rlly like where he’s a ceramics instructor and it …. changed me. as a person. AND I AGREE COMPLETELY the part abt him wanting to keep old art alive….. showcases constantly booked bc he’s just so skilled….. 😵‍💫 yeah. sugu as any kind of artist makes me insane. and him being good at pottery is just so…. weirdly attractive to me???? LIKE . him just having the most steady gentle hands…… teaching you how to mold the clay properly……… your back against his chest as he guides your hands . i need him so bad

AND . TATTOO ARTIST. yes it’s popular but it’s popular for a REASON (reason being: he is hot). HIM OWNING HIS OWN STUDIO and being so skilled….. the mythological tattoos + family portrait 🥺🥺 wahhh . he’s so sweet ashley…. i need him so bad…….. AND THE NAME THING …… i agree btw i feel like he would see tattoos as very . very very special. so getting your name inked into his skin so permanently might feel just as serious as a proposal to him 😭😭 i could see him doing it eventually tho ….. i agree w all the placements bUT. a part of me feels like . he’d get it tattooed somewhere on his chest … close to his heart….. :’3 sniffle. i could also see him getting a tiny heart you doodled onto his palm tattooed w/o you knowing and you’re just like ???? SUGURU??????? and he’s just. “i thought it was cute :)”…… sick sick man (affectionate) 😔😔

AND MARINE BIOLOGIST!SUGU ??? YOUR BRAINNNNN i remember you mentioning that in the sashisu college au too :33 him scuba diving!!!!! being constantly drenched and smelling of seasalt….. i’m of the firm belief that he was obsessed w marine biology as a kid so it just makes sense. I TRUST YOU BTWWW you’ll become a marine biologist for sure 🫡🫡🫡 pls let me pet the sharks once it happens . i would like to see them.

and finally ….. classical musician and conductor. CONDUCTOR!SUGU HAS ME IN A CHOKEHOLD BTW?? he would look so graceful and commanding and and and 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 just . him. swaying w the orchestra!!!!! he’s like a beautiful swan….. and ofc i love the idea of him being a musician too :3 it just makes sense. AND . HIM BEING A CELLIST. WHAT IF I CRYYYY he’d look so good playing it……

ashley your brain is actually so insanely big did you know that …… tysm for the food as always 🙏🙏 i am nomming him 2 death

[schizononagesimus]

character: camilla hect

AAAAA MY GWORL okay okay im normal

fave thing abt her: WHERE DO I FUCKING BEGIN. she thinks she could fight a herald. she already knows about pal's nurse kink and thinks he needs better taste. she's a mad dog. she's a pill. she doesn't let go. she has about sixty weird little secret things she's developed with pal and she keeps them TIGHT secrets. she takes notes on nona kissing herself in a mirror (VERY interesting imagine seeing harrowhark nonagesimus kissing herself in the mirror HELP fjdkslfjdk). she can do a handspring down stairs. her autistic ass posture. im gonna stop talking now

least fave thing: she is clearly a lil jealous of pal's obsession w dulcie and i really just think they should all kiss 😔

fave line: THE WHOLE "ASK ME HOW I AM AND I'LL SCREAM" "HOW ARE YOU" SEQUENCE HAS ME IN STITCHES EVERY TIME but also ... it was good. we were happy. SHUT THE FUCK UP OW

brotp: CAM & GIDEON OBVIOUSLY!!!!!!! cam sees thru gideon's bullshit! she also has a weird codependent situationship! they fight like hell! she gets the banter! and has more social skills than gideon to be like "honey no that is not what's happening at ALL"

otp: CAMPAL. not sorry fam it's canon whether you like it or not! is it romantic? is it sexual? WHO KNOWS!! WHO CARES!! NOT I!! QPRS EXIST! SO DO AROACE PPL! IT IS POSSIBLE AND ALSO POSSIBLE FOR IT TO NOT BE WEIRD LIKE HALF THIS FANDOM ACTS LIKE IT IS!!! re: theyre cousins! OHHHH NOOO HOW DARE THEY BE **SECOND** COUSINS ON A PLANET WHERE IT IS THE STANDARD TO MARRY UR COUSIN. OK????? OK

notp: cam/nona i just think she'd be so weirded out by nona being in harrow's body 😭😭

random headcanon: now i think some of this can be inferred from the text but i think cam is like. horrendously suicidal. probably always has been. probably the only reason she's alive is because of pal both by him just existing and needing her And he's probably.. stopped an attempt at some point. and i just want to hold her abt it

unpopular opinion: i think gideon could beat her in a fight but not because she's more skilled than cam but because gideon's more likely to do something fucking stupid that actually works

song: LORDE GLORY AND GORE

fave pic: this fanart because WOW her hips like. muir always says she dropped down to her haunches so LORD SHE PROBABLY GOT HIPS FOR DAAAAYYYYYS HELP

HEHE thank you for asking i had fun