#okay now i’m looking more at their acc and they DID post a drawing of dan

[dnptheinfinity]

you think you’re safe and then a random artist you follow on instagram for completely unrelated fandoms posts a selfie from a tit m&g

[yukidragon]

I heard Jack has a family, I only know his parents' name (Rise & Shine) But i dont know his sister's name since I'm only new of this fandom, I dont know much their personality, how they looked like or his parents' backstories too or even what jack and his sister looked like or personality since they were kids. (since i heard Jambeebot taken down SDJ drawings in their twitter acc :'( )

But What if Jack's family met reader/alice or Jack introduced his parents to reader/alice?

What do you think Jack's family interactions towards alice/reader or what do they think towards to alice/reader

I would love to hear your thoughts or headcanons, also i love your SDJ Fanfics too <3

Thank you so much for saying so. It makes me happy to know that you love my stories. 💖

Welcome to the fandom! Happy to have you join us. 🎉

Jack’s extended family are part of the SunnyTime Town AU, also known as the STT AU. This isn’t to be confused with the universe for Something’s Wrong with Sunny Day Jack, where Jack is just a character Joseph/[Redacted] played. In STT AU, Jack is a real person who happens to be a clown, living in SunnyTown, as opposed to CoudyTown. It's primarily a comedy AU based off a world filled with clowny characters. Here’s a couple of images Sauce/Jambeebot did for it, including ones that explain more details about it.

Oh, before I go into the images, I will emphasize that Jambeebot/Sauce’s art is not mine, and I really hope you support them on their official Sunny Day Jack twitter, Patreon, and/or kickstarter! They work super hard to create this content for all of us to enjoy, so I wanted to emphasize the credit to them since I’m showing their publicly released artwork.

Also, while I’m on the topic, please don’t repost the private patreon-exclusive art. I’ve seen some people reposting art from the patreon in the tags, and even if it’s cropped, that’s not okay. Doing that is not supporting Sauce/Jambeebot; that’s costing them money that could be spent helping them be financially secure and allow them to make the game without worrying about their livelihood.

Oh, and I almost forgot the obligatory tags for @channydraws and @earthgirlaesthetic. If you want to get tagged when I make the next headcanon post, just let me know!

Thanks for listening, now onto Sauce’s beautiful art and lovely STT AU.

And since you were interested in seeing Jack and his big sis Daisy Chain Jane as kids, as well as getting a look at what little we’ve seen of Rise and Shine’s backstories, I shall deliver.

I’m still working on Alice’s clownsona as it were for the STT AU. I do have her name sorted out though - Aurorabori Alice.

Yes, I feel quite proud of that pun.

Alice (and MC in general) would be the newcomer to SunnyTown who Jack feels an immediate attraction to. Jack is well liked by everybody, and is always friendly, but he’s especially drawn to Alice, wanting to befriend her and spend as much time with her as possible.

Also, despite this AU being very lighthearted and comedy based... yanderes still exist here too, and Jack inherited quite a lot of traits from his dad...

The intensity of these feelings for Alice(/MC) are new and... more than a little unnerving, even to Jack. He’s never felt this way before about anyone. He aches for her in a way that is so strong, he is rather frightened of himself, and too ashamed to tell anybody that he feels this way. He didn’t realize that something was missing from his life until he met Alice, and now that he knows just how warm sunshine can be, the thought of living without her feels dark and cold, even though he’s surrounded by friends and family who love him.

Despite these new frightening desires, Jack won’t force anything on Alice. How could he do that to someone he loves so deeply? It would snuff out her light and ruin her. No, all he can do is keep these feelings hidden and love her with all his heart. Hopefully, if he does everything right, she’ll eventually love him too. There’s no one else in the world who could love her more than he does. It’s impossible, not with feelings as strong as this...

As for Alice... she just thinks Jack is very friendly. Anytime she suspects that he might be flirting with her or that his feelings might be anything but platonic, her best friend Honey Bunny is quick to remind her that Jack is just a very friendly person, which is why everyone loves him, and he probably isn’t interested in getting a partner since he’s never had one before at his age.

Though Honey doesn’t realize Jack simply never felt anything for anyone the way Alice did.

Yes, this is the same Honey Bunny puppet that’s from Alice’s concept sheet. Like Buddy can change from a belt to a person, Honey can change from a puppet into a person.

There’s a theory that when Buddy changes into a human, Jack turns into a belt, though there are also pictures of the two of them human together (including a very spicy one). Still, if Honey and Buddy’s situations with their respective pals are similar, then it means Alice would have a puppet form she can transform into. I’d probably have to design it when I finally draw her STT AU self.

Honey has good intentions about steering Alice away from Jack’s affections. Alice moved to SunnyTown to get a fresh start after she had a rough time with a former suitor who may or may not be Ian’s clownsona. (Naturally, things won’t wind up as toxic for the breakup as they did in the SDJ universe.) Honey wants to protect her best friend from heartache, but might be a bit overprotective at times.

On the other side of the coin, you have Buddy serving to encourage Jack and give him, at times kind of off the wall advice, but he means well too. Naturally, this causes Buddy and Honey to come into conflict a lot, as Buddy is trying to be Jack’s wingman, and Honey is trying to be Jack’s cockblocker.

One solid image I have is of when Alice and Jack start getting closer despite Honey’s interference, Buddy (in human form) drags off Honey by her ears or tail (also in human form) to give them alone time.

Yes, Honey still has rabbit ears and a tail in her human form. How can I resist? Plus it’s not like Buddy doesn’t have unusual anatomy too...

Oh, speaking of that part of him, in this version of the STT AU with Alice, Honey and Buddy wind up going from antagonists to, ahem, quite a bit more. They fight, and it turns into spice. Jack and Alice are going to walk in on them and get quite a shock to see them making out.

Naturally, in a general MC version of the STT AU, there wouldn’t be a Honey Bunny, so it’d be up to the respective person writing their take on the AU to decide how the relationship with Jack goes and what obstacles there are.

Jack is very likely to introduce his family to Alice right away. Jane seems like the type of nosy big sister who would insist on meeting the girl who Jack can’t stop talking about. Mama Shine and Papa Rise would obviously be curious as well.

Rise would also suspect that Jack might be taking after him in a certain way and discreetly give his son tips on how to keep from scaring away his sunshine. After all, Rise would never allow anyone to take Shine away from him, and why would he force his son to suffer without that addicting sunlight in his life?

Shine is a sweet mama type, very energetic, loud, and talkative. She would be the first to greet Alice after Jack introduces the family, likely with a big friendly hug, and would gush about how her son always speaks so highly of Alice, much to Jack’s embarrassment when she starts giving examples.

Alice, in return, would be happy to meet her new friend’s family and very happy that they like her. She wouldn’t be nervous about meeting them since she wouldn’t realize that she’s meeting her future in-laws. She would see where Jack gets his friendly and kind personality from when meeting them.

Honey might insist on coming along to the instruction if possible. She’ll be seeing right through Jack’s intentions and want to make sure things stay strictly platonic, though she will be friendly and wind up liking the family more than she thought she would.

How the family would feel about a general MC really depends on the different MCs and their personalities. From the aspect of how they feel about someone Jack is obviously in love with, they’re happy for him that he found someone who makes him feel that way. As long as they’re a good person for someone as sweet as Jack, they’ll welcome them with open arms.

Opinions on Alice specifically are as follows...

Shine thinks Alice is a very sweet girl, and is very considerate of Jack, which is ideal in a partner for her son. Alice is not terribly talkative, but that’s not a problem at all. After all, her loving husband is nonverbal. What’s important is that Alice is kind to Jack and even at this early friendship stage, she can see the hints of budding romantic feelings towards Jack forming from Alice’s end too.

Rise has a general friendly reaction to Alice initially, then is quietly surprised and pleased to learn that she knows sign language and can hold an actual nonverbal conversation with him. That certainly wins her a few points in his book. The more he learns about her, the more he can see what Jack sees in her and he approves.

Yes, Alice knows ASL in the SDJ universe too. (As well as the other AUs with her.)

Jane is a bit more of a wild card when it comes to Alice. She both likes Alice right away, but also sees an opportunity to playfully tease such an easily flustered person, as well as her little brother. She’s friendly and ultimately ships Alice and Jack, but is going to give them both a hard time with it and mercilessly tease Jack at every opportunity.

Opinions from the family about Honey Bunny are generally positive as well, as it’s easy to recognize she’s just looking out for a friend. Shine would probably try to give her advice to take it easy sometimes though. Jane would find it hilarious that Jack is getting cockblocked and use it as teasing fuel. Rise would see Honey as a potential problem, but is keeping hands off from interfering, as it’s a minor issue and Jack needs to learn how to deal with people who would keep his sunshine away.

Buddy is nebulous in that he’s a close enough friend to Jack that he’s practically family, so I’ll give his opinions as well. He likes Alice right away. She’s friendly, nice, and she greets him along with Jack even when he’s a belt at the time, which a lot of people forget to do. He is totally on board with helping Jack win her over.

As for Honey Bunny... as far as Buddy is concerned, she’s obnoxious, annoying, but cute, and fun to tease. The latter feelings develop into a more, ahem, friendly type of teasing down the road.

In the STT AU, Alice would probably be the new arts and crafts teacher at Jack’s schoolhouse, which gives them plenty of time to interact, and plenty of time for Jack to give her lovestruck looks from afar as he watches her teach the kids and play with them.

Also, in a nod to the lore I went with for Sunshine in Hell, Alice would sometimes give puppet show presentations at the library with the help of her friend Honey Bunny. Cloudy-Belle Sue just might wind up being her cousin in fact, given Alice’s hair is kind of cloud-like and fluffy, which is similar to Sue’s hairstyle. In this situation, it would be Sue introducing Alice and Jack to help her cousin get used to the town and make friends.

Naturally, Sue and the rest of the SunnyTime Crew are going to help Jack get together with Alice. They’re his friends after all, and Alice is a sweet girl, though Sue will caution Jack to take it slow since she’s had her heart broken before.

For a general MC, the crew would no doubt ship Jack with his sunshine regardless since he’s so happy with them. Whether they’re related to any of the other crew members is up to the individual MC’s backstory, of course.

Oh, wow, this really ran away from me, didn’t it? That’s about all I have for now of the STT AU. If you want to hear about the AphroDesia crossover AU’s versions of the family and their opinions of/interactions with Alice, let me know, since things are a liiittle bit different in the mafia AU.

Thanks again for sending the ask. I hope you found my thoughts entertaining and that these images from Jambeebot helped you learn a bit more about the SunnyTime Town AU!

[mifithemuffin]

◆Satsuten 8th Anniversary Post Translation◆

Happy Satsuten 8th Anniversary!!

Sanada Makoto made a public post on her fanbox acc with a drawing of characters she doesn't draw together that often. This month it's Rachel and Eddie!

Below is my translation of their possible dialogue in a make-believe interaction scenario. It's mostly gags.

You can find the full blog post here

◆Rachel & Eddie Conversation: Start!◆

Eddie: Wow! A drawing of Rachel and me, what a nice surprise!

Say, Rachel, when was the last time we’ve talked to each other anyway?

Rachel: Probably during Episode.NG?

Eddie: Yeah, I think so too. Man, Episode.NG was such a disaster.

Didn’t you step on me and feed me some extremely spicy pizza back then?

Rachel: Oh, it wasn’t... intentional.

Eddie: Was it now?..

Rachel: I should apologize, shouldn’t I?..

Eddie: Ah! N-no, you don’t really have to!..

I’m actually alright despite all of that! Look, my arms are fine at least, my arms...

Rachel: If you say so.

Eddie: Uhm… Y-yeah…

Rachel: …

Eddie: …

...B-but you know, it’s so rare to have a chance to talk to you like that, I’m really happy!

Because even back when you first came to my floor we didn’t have a lot of time to chat.

Q1: What was your first impression of each other?

Rachel: Nothing outside of “a person who can kill me and lay my body to the ground” I suppose.

Eddie: What?! Is this really it?

Even though I did my best to properly confess my feelings to you!

Rachel: It was... a confession?..

Eddie: Of course! I was interested in you from the very beginning.

It’s not like we have a lot of girls my age coming to the building, you know!

Rachel: I see.

...Even so, why did you decide to confess to me? We haven’t met each other even once.

Eddie: Well, I’ve got plenty of reasons!

First of all, when I saw you burying that little bird on Zack’s floor, I couldn’t help but think: “We’d definitely get along!”

And then I heard your beautiful voice...

Rachel: A little bird… Don’t tell me you’ve been watching me?

Eddie: Yeah! One of the next floors was mine, so of course I had access to security cameras!

Rachel: ...For some reason it doesn’t sit right with me.

Eddie: Huh, why? Urm, s-sorry I guess?..

I don’t think it’s that strange of a behavior for a floor master though…

Q2: Did this impression change after?

Rachel: Yeah, to “green”.

Eddie: Green… Is it because of what I looked like during the trial?

Rachel, don’t you have anything else to say about me?

Rachel: ….

Eddie: ….Okay, nevermind. Just please stop giving me this blank stare.

As for me, I thought you were a little bit selfish.

You're also stubborn, don’t listen to what others tell you and only ever care about making things yours.

But in all honesty, I do get it. You and I are more alike than you think. To the point of maybe someday digging graves together, you know!

Rachel: Not that I wish to dig graves like you, though.

Eddie: Wait, what??

Rachel: So all of this time you thought I’m as passionate about grave digging as you are?..

Eddie: Because you tried your hardest to make a nice grave for the little birdie, I...

Rachel: Eddie… you’re terribly assumptious.

Eddie: But doesn't it make the two of us?! Say, doesn't it?

Rachel: ….

Eddie: Did you frown just now?.. It means this time I'm definitely right!

Rachel: ….

Eddie: Hey, no, don’t ignore me!

Say “yes” already!

Fin!

Sanada-sensei also said she's planning to draw Zack and Danny next month, so if you're interested in more unhinged interactions please consider subscribing to her fanbox!

[franeridart]

Anon said: Ahh I really love your art, especially the way you present your story telling in the comics!! I smile every time I see them on my timeline haha thanks for making my (and likely many others) day! Wishing you all the best!!

Thank you so much!!!!! Especially glad to hear you think my comics’ storytelling works ;O; it means a lot!

Anon said: your satosugu arts give me life omg it's so beautiful and i love how smitten gojou is in all of them😭❤️ thank you for giving us pleasant escape from the disaster that is canon

AH GOSH thank you!!! Gojo lives all his feelings to the fullest doesn’t he! He’s a lot of fun to think about as happy and in love, he gives of the feeling of a warm hug to me ;; back in high school Geto was more reserved with his feelings, but I think he’d show it in his own very soft ways.....ahhhhh man, I love them ;;

Anon said: Your Satosugu is giving me life and also the fluff i need because HOLY SHIT THOSE CHAPTERS ;-;

I KNOW gege really looked at the old gen and went “enough with these dudes” huh lmao but I’m excited to see how everything is gonna turn out from now on! Esp since having been abandoned by the elders the protags are gonna have at the same time more options and less wiggle room.......... interesting!! Can’t wait!

Anon said: hey hey hey i just found your acc and i'm so invested in it already GDJSKALA I LOVE YOUR ART as a beginner like can't draw a circle beginner i truly admire your work also do you have any tips on what i should do to improve my art? because i'm on the brink of giving up istg cause my progress is just none there's no progress idk what to do like pls help me HAHAHHAHA idk what to watch how to practice what to do nothing absolutely nothing but i'm trying my best to hang on cause whenever i keep seeing artists like you it just makes me hang on and be like just keep going but even though i say that i'm going nowhere still so pls help... - 🍄

Ah man, I’m glad I can make you feel like keeping trying!! I answered an ask like this a while back here and I can’t say I have anything new to say on the matter? I hope it’ll help you! In the end the biggest suggestion I can give you is to try to figure out what it is that you want to draw and just draw it! Even if you don’t know how to, just draw it the way you can! As long as the act of drawing itself makes you happy more than the final result you’ll keep up with it and the improvement will come for sure! 

Anon said: your art always brightens my day. thank you for sharing it!

Thank you for liking it!!! ;;O;;

Anon said: Idk anything about jujutsu kaisen (I hope I write it well), but seeing your fanarts tempts me to start watching it 😍😍😍

I hope you’ll like it if you do try it!!!!! It’s not a story for everyone, but it is a great story for its own genre! And the studio animating it is doing a wonderful job of making it a work of art too TT0TT

Anon said: Hi! Don’t mean to bother but I wanted to let you know that the user yslkeii on tik tok has reposted some of your art. It’s the “some of my favorite dilfs” video, I think the thumbnail is a photo of Levi Ackerman. She knows that none of the artists in the vid allow reposts but won’t take it down so I figured I’d let them know

Thanks for letting me know! Sadly, I have literally no clue how to act on this for tik tok orz if they could at least credit................ I’m not even too opposted to having my stuff used in videos if there’s credit...................................sigh

Anon said: Hello, I was wondering if I could use some of your old mha art as a reference? I won’t post it anywhere, or trace your work I promise!

Sure you can!! If you don’t mean to post it you don’t even need to ask for permission! Just, you know, my stuff is full of mistakes everywhere so don’t take it too much as a good source for proper anatomy reference and stuff like that!

Anon said: a thought i've been sitting on, having not seen it, that is sending me. gojo/geto color pallet swap

You know, I did see that a while back! White-haired Geto and black-haired Gojo, it was stunning! Didn’t look much like themselves though, Gojo especially hahaha the white hair is really distinctive of him, isn’t it? With it black he kinda looks like first-year!Yuuta with sunglasses hahaha

Anon said: Hey! How you doing? So, i wanted to ask you if I could use one of your Kamijirou's fanarts in my Twitter edit, with credits of course! I hope you get mad with this shitty ask, i totally understand if you don't let me use, is your right ♡

I’d prefer it if you didn’t, sorry!!

Anon said: huhghhuhfjfjd i was scrolling thru your art and i hit a todokiribaku thing you made for a friend an d honestly that's all ive ever needed in life. your friend's taste is impeccable *sobs*

She does doesn’t she!! That’s still one golden ot3, I doubt that’s gonna change any time soon

Anon said: sfdghffgdgd gojo has the right idea. they should just make out

They should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish they had!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said: i've been looking at your art for months and i //just// realized you've started drawing noses from different angles *facepalm*

I’m trying my best!! It’s one of the things that limited my style the most AND one of the most difficult things for me to tackle, so I’m giving it a shot but still, you know, expect them to stay inconsistent for a while haha

Anon said: so five ish years ago i followed you for haikyuu, then got into bnha through your art and now im very tempted to watch jujutsu kaisen because of you as well

ANON!!!!!! I’m so glad and happy you kept me company this long and through this many fandoms!!!! TTATT if you do try jjk I hope you’ll like it! And if you don’t and decide to leave that’s okay too, I’m just really grateful you stuck around this long already!!! ;;A;; <3<3

[letoscrawls]

Hiiiii

I hope you're doing well!

I would like to ask if u have and advise about starting and art account on insta. I have a small one here on tumblr but people say insta is better for art accs. So I just create an account and start posting? Or do I promote myself in some way, maybe taking dtiys and other challenges?

Thanks in advance:D

Hi! thank you so much for checking on me! :) 

okay, i get this question quite often and i wish i could give you solid advice, but the problem with instagram right now is its algorithm. when i started my account it wasn’t that fucked up, so i don’t really know how it is for new artists who have just started their accounts now! but i can tell you that it really affected every artist, even the bigger ones, so please keep that in mind. if you “fail” to reach your audience it’s not your fault, instagram is literally sabotaging artists and i don’t know for how long it’ll be “the best platform for art”. so just to warn all of you, i don’t want you to compromise your mental health for a social platform that makes money out of our stress and insecurities, i’ll try to share what i think could work because sharing art can be really rewarding and shouldn’t be an ordeal so i’d be happy to help somehow!!!!!

so this is the “algorithm tricks” part: 

when i first opened ig, i remember my stories were viewed by at least 100 people for the first two days even though i had less than 10 followers, so i think that’s instagram way to encourage you to keep posting, so my first advice would be to post your art in the stories too, at least for the first week or something?? now, i know the algorithm is currently promoting reels, so if you’re skilled with those go for it! make videos of your creating process and stuff like that. it’s important to inform your followers when you make a new post bc the chances of it being noticed are higher, you have to do the work bc ig won’t show that post to most of your audience (did i mention that i hate whoever made this algorithm?? yes??) i’m not really sure about this but i think ig prefers the reels you make with their set of editing tools instead of just uploading a pre saved video (i think it’s their way to sabotage those who post their tiktoks), i’ve never tried them so i don’t really know what they’re like, but i’m pretty sure tiktok is way better. i read somewhere that IGTV aren’t ig big thing anymore, so i don’t think you’d get much engagement from them. in general i’d say to always promote your posts in your stories and to wait at least an hour before editing a post bc i think you’ll lose engagement if you edit it right after posting (i know, it’s so stupid).

the use of hashtags is the only thing that i approve, because it’s an helpful tool made by social media before it got so bad and they really help you to reach more people (that’s like their purpose, i just wish there weren’t dozens of other stupid rules to follow in order to be noticed besides hashtags). so using tags like “art”, “artists on instagram” and “daily art” along with tags related to the pic you posted (like the name of the character or the fandom etc) is really helpful, just don’t use unrelated tags bc it’s annoying and idk how convenient it is :P the last thing is promoting your posts by using the sponsored feature; i never used that because i’d rather eat a slug than give money to instagram, but if you have the possibility and you are okay with that then you could try!

now for the “artsy” part

artists have found many ways to bypass the algorithm and keep the community alive over the years, challenges are probably the best way to do so! dtiys are awesome, not only they help you get more recognition, but they also make artists incredibly happy! i should host one very soon myself, i’m looking for a pose and an outfit to draw one of my ocs in, hopefully you’ll see it soon! i cannot explain how happy it makes me to see people draw a character of mine, and it’s great to see them in so many different styles, so i highly recommend dtiys! usually the artists who host them post the entries in their stories too, so yeah, you should definitely try those! there are other challenges like art vs artist, memes etc, it’s incredible how creative the community is despite all! and lastly, draw fan art! contributing to a fandom with your art is so cool, personally i prefer it over original content most of the time, i feel the need to share my point of view and to let out all the idiotic thoughts i have when i consume some kind of media so i’m really biased, but every artist is different, so don’t force yourself to do something if you don’t feel like doing it! drawing something you don’t particularly enjoy because you want to get recognition is gonna make you burnout REALLY BAD, trust me, i personally think that passion>effort, so never forget to put your enjoyment first!!!! 

okay this took me a while and i hope it was helpful! good luck!!! i definitely forgot something dskfjhis

[rainbowsky]

Final round-up of fan fic asks

I've gotten a few more interesting responses to the fan fic discussion so I'm going to round them all up here. This will be my final post on the topic until/unless there's a dramatic new development, or a particularly notable response I want to highlight. Thanks to everyone who brought their thoughts and experiences to the topic. I hope everyone at least feels heard.

The biggest piece of advice that I would like to offer is for everyone to focus on what they love rather than what they hate. If we all did that, the world would be a better place. Alongside that, I'd like to remind everyone to please support authors whose work you like. It's so important. Give them a kudos, give them a nice comment, recommend their work to others. You never know what kind of grief and harassment they are dealing with to bring you these great stories, and our support means a lot.

This is in reference to previous posts here and here.

Anonymous asked:

With regard to fandom and fan fic issue, my years of experience being part of very large fandoms has led me to believe that big accounts are v important in facilitating and enforcing the general consensus of the whole fandom. Unless there will be big accs who'll remind everyone of being respectful & just not being a dick over other's preferences, nothing will change.

This is also the reason why I think certain solo fandoms have adapted weird and twisted narratives as their general fandom story because no big acc has tried to police them & and say hey pls be rational. Whether we like it or not, in a place where how far voices, ideas, tweets, posts get heard is based on the number of followers you have, big accs will have the power and influence in creating/curating/shifting the narratives.

So, if you want to know why your/our fandom thinks like this in general, look at what big accs are tweeting/posting, look at what ideas & values they follow, look at their preferences or how strongly they react to certain situations. it's taxing and toxic for big accs given the nature of social media these days, but it's also the reality of system, the more followers/audience you have, the more influence you will have.

So to anyone reading this I hope we all practice more restraint and reflection before we post anything. Remember that words, no matter what medium you write it in, will always carry weight.

So true. It is easy - even for myself who spends a fair chunk of time answering people's asks - to forget that people can sometimes be impressionable and what we say can influence people whether that's our intent or not. I get used to thinking of myself as a regular guy just doing my own thing when sometimes my thoughts and words go well beyond where I initially posted them.

I think it's important for us to be careful what we say, and it's equally important to be careful what we take from what other people say. Especially when it comes to big claims. Always get a second, third, fourth opinion and don't be afraid to ask for clarification if something doesn't sit right or sounds confusing.

It's also important to reflect on how our words and actions might affect other people's experience of fandom, and err on the side of 'live and let live' wherever possible. It's great to have our own preferences and to champion them, but we should try to do so in a way that leaves space for other people and perspectives.

The more unique perspectives and the more friendly, open dialog there is, the healthier the community will be as a whole.

There's nothing wrong with encouraging and guiding growth in the particular areas we are interested in, as long as it doesn't step on, oppress or attack those who are peacefully enjoying something different.

Anonymous 2 asked: bjyx fans attacking gdgdbaby for including zsww/lsfy dynamics in an event named bjyx then turning right around and attacking the zsww/lsfy event organizer for excluding bjyx? god, can you hear my facepalm and sigh of resignation and incredulity from over there? im genuinely not surprised that they're trying to drive an entire part of the fandom out by disgusting them (and me) with these immature tactics. i believe what im about to say next will sound quite bait-y and i respect your decision 1/?

should you choose not to post this. but i do know that it is not only me, in fact there are many out there, that is of this opinion. we just dont talk about it on twitter to avoid the potential mess it will bring lol. okay, here goes nothing. (do note that im talking about the majority here, not every single person is like this) so bjyx fans tend to be cishet females whereas zsww/lsfy fans are more diverse in terms of age and gender, and most of them are part of the queer community too 2/?

i would like to clarify that most of these zsww/lsfy fans are not dynamic exclusive (in the sense that they are friendly and interact with all ggdd fans) they just prefer to "identify" themselves as zsww/lsfy fans (on twitter specifically) just to form a distinction from bjyx fans who mostly are dynamic exclusive (as in; they do not consume non-bjyx content, and straightup refuse to interact with non-bjyx fans, often blocking them). as a result, id say that the zsww/lsfy communiy is way more 3/?

mature and respectful (after all, they're mostly queer people talking about a queer ship) whereas many problems in this fandom, such as the homophobia, adamantly insisting on "drawing lines" between dynamics, stem from the bjyx exclusive fans, comprised of cishet females who "may not know better". so, it is of no surprise to me that they're resorting to these immature tactics of calling gg unsavory names, and organizing retaliatory events with controversial topics in an attempt to "purify". 4/4

I trust that you have arrived at that theory through your own experience and observation. I haven't personally spent much time immersed in this stuff so I can't claim to have any real insight or expertise. If you say that's your experience of it, then at the very least that's how you've seen things up to this point.

I just want to say that I think we should always be careful about making assumptions about people's age, gender/gender identity, etc.

There are plenty of good reasons to avoid doing that; because those assumptions could be very wrong, because those assumptions are often laced with ageism, sexism, etc., because those assumptions - even when correct - might not be an accurate basis for the conclusions we draw.

But the primary reason I recommend avoiding those type of assumptions is because anything that enables us to clump a group of people together in our minds like that will tend to make them easier to demonize and dehumanize. They are no longer individuals who are each responsible for their own unique perspectives, they are now 'the X group' who is known for 'A B C series of easily attackable ideas or behaviors'.

If we attribute undesirable traits and behaviors to a group of people we feel opposed to in some way, that makes us feel more righteous and justified in behaving unfairly toward them, dismissing their humanity and warring with them. It's just risky behavior to engage in, even when it's well-intentioned.

There might actually be some truth to what you're saying. It could very well be that most of these people are young, inexperienced, heteronormative, etc. but if that's the case then we should try to use those traits to better understand and empathize rather than to better dismiss and discredit.

Just my two cents on that.

It can be really frustrating dealing with what feels like other people attacking us, trying to oppress us, etc. - especially when there are more of them than there are of us. In my experience the best solutions to that sort of problem are generally the ones that focus on what we are doing and want to do rather than what they are doing that we don't want them to do.

As I am always preaching, we can't control what other people say, do or think. The only thing we have any control over is what we say, do and think (and how we respond to what they say, do and think).

I have found in my experience that the moment I step out of a conflict mindset and instead step into a problem-solving mindset, everything starts to come together. I feel better, my outlook is more positive, I can begin to see solutions and allies rather than problems and enemies, and most of all, I become more focused on what I am doing than what others are doing.

So I would recommend everyone who is invested in resolving these conflicts focus on that. "How can we best showcase and encourage the types of stories we enjoy?" instead of "How can we stop these other people from doing things we dislike?"

Anonymous 3 asked:

Hello again! It’s anon #3 from the fanfic post. I really do appreciate reading your thoughts on various issues like this, so thank you for always taking time to write in depth. As for supporting without going to war, the simplest way has always been to just show appreciation for the creators, hype them up. Kudos are the easiest way on ao3 but comments in addition are great. This goes for all content—art, fics, vids..etc. Creators love to see and read how people react to their content. Sharing is also great, fic recs are very helpful, just be cautious with art and reposting though. Hope this helps a bit!

Thanks so much, Anon. I think this is excellent advice. And it's true that appreciation is great, but helping to expand the audience is also great. Recommending stories, pointing people to the pages/websites of artists we like (as opposed to reposting), sharing our own ideas and approaches, encouraging people to try new things... all of this helps build healthier communities.

And here's another one: WRITE! DRAW! CREATE!

I urge anyone with creative interests or talents to bring their voices to the community because we all can benefit from hearing from you.

Thanks again everyone for sharing your thoughts on this issue. I hope that over time we can all work in positive ways to improve the situation.

I think this subject has been well-covered now so I'm going to retire it for the time being. If anyone still feels they want to discuss it further please feel free to message me privately. Thanks.

[originalhybridloverfics]

Eda’s Robot, Serkan’s Fairy Girl: Chapter 3 - Don’t Let Your Star Die Out

Summary: Serkan gets a call that changes everything.

[Prompt: Hurt/sick Eda]

Post break up

A/N: Alright, so I first started writing this right after the break-up, so some things are different from canon.

I apologize for any mistakes in advance.

Serkan tried to focus on his work, he tried to draw, to sketch a landscape design but it was like every attempt was half-ass at best and he ended up ripping it up and throwing it away. 

It was like his talent and skills were suddenly gone. He pushed up from the work table, and walked outside leaning his arms on the banister, he looked up at the night sky, filled with stars. 

It never failed to make him think of Eda, and just like a star that disappeared from the sky so did she from his life. 

He wondered what she was doing, right now. 

Was she getting dinner with her aunt? Was she talking with the girls on the terrace?

Was she by some chance staring up at the same night sky, looking at the stars thinking of him?

He doubted it. She hated him now. She probably didn’t spare him a second thought unless she had to. 

They weren’t together and that was on him. He couldn’t bring himself to tell her the truth and instead ended things, hoping it would save her from pain in the long run.

It hurt. It hurt so damn much to let her go. To let go of the plans and dreams he had for their future and now he was alone. He was miserable. Every day was a test of his strength and his love to do what’s best for Eda. 

He dreamed of telling her the truth. He dreamed of her being understanding and forgiving him. 

He dreamed of them running away together where no one can find them. 

Serkan dreamed of marrying Eda, waking up in the morning to her dark eyes full of life and her beautiful smile. He dreamed of holding her in his arms with her being heavy with his child. Their child. He dreamed of what their lives could be. 

However, fate was too cruel and instead had thrown impossible circumstances of the past at them that ruined any chance they had at a future together. 

There wasn’t much more fate could do to him at this point.

His phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out to see, Melo was calling him. 

He frowned. Why would Melek be calling him? He answered it. “Hello?” 

Melek's heavily breathing came over the line. “Serkan?”

Serkan tensed, Melek never called him by his name, it was always brother in law and he could hear her crying. “Melek, what is wrong?”

“There’s been an acc-accident.” She said through her tears. 

Serkan’s heart pounded in his chest, a feeling of trepidation spreading through him, hoping she wouldn’t say the name he thought she was going to say. 

“Eda, she-” Melo choked on her tears, her voice breaking. 

“Eda? What about Eda, Melek?!” Serkan asked sharply, every muscle tensing with the need to protect himself.

Melo let out a sob, her voice a strangled noise. 

“Melek!” Serkan snapped. “What happened to Eda!? Was she in an accident?!”

“Yes,” Melo cried. “Serkan, it’s not good.”

Serkan's phone crashed to the floor as pain tore through his chest that had him choking on his next breath. His legs gave out from beneath him, he hit the ground, his knees slamming on impact but he couldn’t feel it, all he could see was Eda. 

Every good memory he shared with her, all he could feel was what it was like to feel her lips against his, her scent surrounding him, the feel of her soft cheek, the light in her eyes when she smiled at him.

Eda was all he could see.

Worse he could remember the last words she spoke to him. 

I hate you, Serkan Bolat. 

With a jolt, he got back to his feet. He could not let that be the last words spoken between them. 

He rushed to his car, not stopping to pick up his phone from the ground. He was speeding down the road, not giving his mind the time to think the worse. 

She had to be at the hospital getting the care she needs. She had to be okay nothing other than that was an option. 

He pulled up to the hospital in record time, he barely even parked his car before he was, jumping from his car and running for the emergency doors. 

He burst in, not stopping as he headed straight for the reception desk, slamming his hands down on the counter. 

The woman working at the reception desk looked startled. 

“Eda Yildiz, where is she?!” his voice was rough, his desperation barely contained. 

“Are you family, sir?” the woman asked, cautiously. 

“I’m her fiance,” he declared without hesitation. 

“No, you are not.” A voice said from behind him. 

Serkan spun on his feet, turning to see Ayfer glaring at him just a few feet away. His eyes darted around the room and he saw Fifi, Ceren, Milo, and even Erdem, nearby watching warily. 

“You have some nerve showing up here after what you did!” Ayfer accused. 

“What I did?” Serkan repeated, taking a step toward her. 

“Yes, what you did!” Ayfer snapped. “You hurt Eda! Played with her heart! Toyed with her and discarded her when she no longer provided you with entertainment! Was any of it ever real or was everything just a game to you!?” 

“Stop,” Serkan said lowly, jaw clenched. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

“I think I do and I want you to leave,” Ayfer said. 

“No, I won’t leave,” Serkan argued. 

“I will tell the authorities you are not to be in contact with Eda.” Ayfer threatened. “Leave before I have you escorted out.” 

“Then do it because I won’t do it otherwise,” Serkan warned. 

“This is not necessary,” Melo stepped forward. “Serkan has a right to be here. He cared about Eda.”

“He only cares about himself,” Ayfer accused.

Before Serkan could formulate a response, Efe stepped out from the emergency doors, his hand was bandaged, and a bandaid on his temple. 

“What is he doing here?” Serkan demanded. 

Ceren stepped forward. “He was in the car with Eda.”

“Tell us what happened,” Fifi said, eyes hard on Efe. 

Efe looked carefully at Serkan before focusing back on Afyer and the girls. “We were in the car and we were talking about work and we got into a disagreement, the next thing I know Eda’s asleep at the wheel and we’re driving through a red light and a car slammed into us. Eda took the brunt of the hit, she-”

Serkan’s fist slammed into Efe’s face and the other man stumbled back with the blow, stunned. 

Serkan’s anger surged to the surface with every word spoken until his vision narrowed down and all he saw was red. 

He grabbed Efe by the collar of his shirt and slammed him to the wall and pressed his forearm against Efe’s throat. 

Efe shoved at him but Serkan’s anger made him stronger, as used his weight and the power in his arms to keep Efe exactly where he wanted him. At his mercy, gasping for air. “This is your fault.” 

“Serkan, stop!” Melo moved forward along with Fifi, attempting to pull him off. 

Serkan shrugged them off, he slammed Efe again against the wall, making the back of his head take the brunt of the blow before releasing him. 

Serkan put his hands up and stood back as Efe groaned, attempting to stand up straight. 

“Leave,” Serkan ordered. 

“Stop, just stop,” Ayfer said. “You don’t get to come here and control everything. You need to leave. Now.” 

“I won’t.” Serkan squared his jaw. “As long as Eda is here, I’m not going nowhere.”

Ayfer glared. “Why do you care?”

“I love her,” Serkan said. “I ended things for a reason I can’t say but I have never stopped loving her. I need to see her with my own eyes, make sure she is okay or I will go insane.”

“Ayfer,” Ceren said. “Let him stay.”

Ayfer nodded. “I do this not for you but for Eda.” 

Serkan nodded and while the girls and Ayfer found a seat Serkan paced the floor. 

Serkan wasn’t sure how much time had passed but when a doctor stepped out into the waiting room, he was prepared to beg and plead for any news of Eda. 

“Eda Yildiz family?” The doctor in the long white coat asked, a clipboard in his hand. 

Serkan reached him before anyone else. “We are Eda’s family.” 

Ayfer not wanting to argue further when there was news of her niece said nothing to contradict his claim. 

“I'm am Dr. Demir. Eda is out of surgery. She lost a lot of blood. I’m afraid, we lost her for a few seconds.”

Serkan’s heart stopped in his chest, his knees felt weak. Melo pressed against his back keeping him upright. 

“We were able to get her back, she has a dislocated shoulder, collapsed lung, broken ribs, a large cut into her ribcage and a head wound, there was some bleeding on her brain but we were able to relieve the pressure. She is resting now in recovery. The rest will be up to her. We have done everything we can for her.” Dr. Demir concluded. 

“I want to see her!” Serkan’s words were not a request but a command. 

“No more visitors than two at a time.” Dr. Demir advised. 

“I will go,” Serkan said.

“I will be the first to see her,” Ayfer said, glowering at Serkan. “Alone.” 

Serkan wanted nothing more than to argue with her but this was Eda’s aunt. He forced the harsh words on the tip of his tongue down and followed behind Dr. Demir and Ayfer.

They were led down a series of halls, stopping in front of a room. 

“Here we are,” Dr. Demir said and offered a sympathetic smile before departing. 

Serkan reached for the doorknob but Ayfer stopped him. “You wait.”

“He said she could have two visitors at a time,” he argued. 

“And I said I wanted to see my niece alone. If I had my way you would not be here at all.” Ayfer scowled. 

“Then get used to not having your way,” Serkan warned. “Cause I am not going anywhere.” 

Ayfer turned her back to him and pushed her way into Eda’s room, closing the door on Serkan. 

Serkan paced in front of the door barely fighting down the urge to burst into the room despite Ayfer. 

It felt like hours, days even before Ayfer stepped out of the room and Serkan was ready to snap at her for taking so long, for keeping him away from Eda when all he wanted was to be at her side but the way she looked stopped him. 

Her shoulders were dropped in defeat, her eyes shining with fresh tears, her skin pale. 

“Ayfer?” 

“I knew it was bad but I have never seen her in such a state.” Ayfer's voice cracked with emotion. 

Serkan thought of what Eda would want and stepped forward, gathering Ayfer in his arms, hoping to console her. 

Ayfer to his surprise clung to him, her shoulders shaking as she cried. 

“She’s gonna be okay. Eda’s strong.” Serkan ran his hand up and down her back. 

Ayfer pulled back, wiping at her eyes. “Don’t hurt her further, Serkan Bolat.”

“I only want to be there for her,” Serkan reassured. 

Ayfer nodded slowly. “I’ll ask girls to come back later.” 

Serkan nodded. “I will go and see, Eda.” he nodded at her and walked around her, entering Eda’s room. 

Only when the door was shut behind him did he looked up his eyes landed on, Eda.

His breath caught in his throat. She always looked so perfect, so beautiful and she still was only her skin was pale, her head wrapped in a bandage, and she was hooked up to all these wires. 

It frightened him. He had never seen her looking so weak, so devoid of life.

He stumbled forward and gripped the rails on her bed. “Eda.” 

He wanted to see her eyes open, watch as her lips lifted into a slow smile, to see her eyes shine back at him with happiness. 

“Eda,” Serkan reached his hand out, the tips of his fingers, grazing the soft skin of her cheek. “Eda, please, you have to fight. I need you to be the strong woman I know you to be. The woman who burst into my life and set fire to my world, who made me feel again. Feel alive. I need you to be the woman I fell in love with. Be stubborn, fight, survive this, and become stronger for it.” 

Serkan cupped her cheek and a shiver racked through him. He looked toward the ceiling, blinking back tears as he tried to swallow his emotions down. 

He had to be strong and resilient. He could not fall apart. Not now. Eda needed him. And he was not going to be break when she needed him more than ever. 

“Eda,” he reached for her hand lifting it to his lips and holding it there. “I don’t know if you can hear me but I need you to wake up. Even if it's to tell me how much you hate me. I can take it. What I can’t handle is you not making it through this. Don't let your star die out.”

A tear slid down his cheek and he held her hand tighter in his own. “I need to tell you the truth. I need to let you decide where we go from here but more than anything I need you to know that there is nothing more important to me than you.”

Serkan reached in his pocket and pulled out the beautiful flower engagement ring. “I want you to have this.” he slipped the ring on her finger slowly. “No matter what happens it yours always. Like I am.” 

Serkan gently placed her hand back on the bed and leaned forward brushing a kiss against her cheek. “I’ll be here waiting for you, Eda Yildiz.” 

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ 

Serkan refused to leave and had gotten the hospital staff to allow him to stay, he stayed by Eda’s side, resting in the chair, gripping Eda’s hand in his own. 

He drifted off in the night, watching her breathe and listening to the sound of her heartbeat. Knowing she was right there in reach was the only thing that allowed him to get any rest. 

However, his rest didn’t last. The abrupt sound of Eda’s heart monitor flattening and a warning code being called out had him jolting up. 

“Eda!” he leaned over her and check her pulse, fear took hold when he couldn’t find it. “Eda! Eda!”

A doctor burst into the room, two nurses behind him. “Mr. Bolat, you must leave the room.” 

Serkan shook his head no. “I won’t leave.”

“I can’t have any distractions!” the doctor said as he started to attempt to revive Eda.

“No!” Serkan fought as an orderly appeared. Serkan shoved him and he was knocked into the wall. 

A security guard appeared, following the orders, he was given to remove Serkan from the room. 

Serkan fought every step of the way. Refusing to be removed even resorting to violence. The hospital staff had no choice but to sedate him. 

Everything went black for Serkan as he lost consciousness, Eda’s name a prayer on his tongue. 

When Serkan woke again, he was disoriented. He looked around the strange white room and realized he was in a hospital, and with that knowledge came the memory of Eda’s heart stopping, losing her to a place she could not return. 

He clambered from the bed, the beat of his heart slamming against his ribcage. “Eda!”

Serkan left the room quickly, looking around he broke out into a run, finding his way through the hospital hallways, he didn’t care that people stared and pointed and called out to him. 

He didn’t care if he scared anyone.

He made a few wrong turns but somehow he found his way back to Eda’s room. 

He burst in and the sight that greeted him had him falling back against the door. His breaths coming quickly as an empty pit formed in his stomach, his veins icing over. 

Eda was gone. The room was empty. That could only mean one thing. 

“Brother-in-Law!”

His head snapped up to see Melo coming toward him, concern lining her face. 

“Eda,” he said, his voice breaking. “She’s gone.” 

“No, no, no, she’s okay.” Melo put her hand on his arm reassuringly. “She was moved upstairs to a private room. Leyla arranged it for you. I was staying with you until you woke up to take you there. I only left the room for a moment and when I came back you were gone.”

“She’s alive?” Serkan asked with a desperation that had tears welling in Melo’s eyes. 

“Come. I’ll take you to her.” She tugged on his arm. 

Serkan allowed it, following her without hesitation in minutes, they were riding the elevator to a higher floor and after walking down a few corridors Melo was pushing a room door open. 

Serkan stepped in, his breath hitching at the sight of Eda, he didn’t even see Ayfer, Fifi, or Ceren. 

He stumbled forward, moving to her bedside, his hand caressed her cheek. The warmth of her skin sinking into his, his hand moved further down, checking her pulse, he could hear the heart monitor but he needed to feel it beneath his touch.

A relieved sob tore from him that he could not hold back. He sunk to the floor, his knees hitting the hospital floor. 

A quiet gasped left Ayfer and watching Serkan she was faced with the very real notion that whatever ended things between Eda and Serkan it was not for lack of love on his part. 

The proud man before her was shattering before her very eyes. 

She placed her hand on his shoulder and felt him shaking as he cried. She squeezed it in an attempt to comfort before ushering the girls out, allowing Serkan to be alone with Eda and his emotions, allowing him to gather himself without an audience. 

Serkan pressed his forehead to Eda’s hand, as he felt tears streak down his cheek. “Eda, Eda, please, don’t leave without me. I am begging you.”

His shoulders shook harder when her hand was unmoving in his grasp and not hearing her voice responding back to him.

He could not lose her. He would not survive it. 

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ 

Eda’s eyes fluttered open slowly, sunlight streamed into the room. 

She let out a groan. Her head was killing her. She looked around the room. It was large and spacious, she could see an ocean view outside the glass window but the smell was an unmistakable clinical smell of a hospital. 

She tried to shift but couldn’t. There was a weight resting on her hip. Her eyes flitted down and she saw Serkan resting. He didn’t look good, more stubble than she was used to covered his face, his hair was wild and there was a paleness to his pallor. 

The beeping of the monitor increased with her heart as confusion took hold. 

Why was Serkan here? Things between them were over. He made sure of that when he ended things between them. 

What happened to her? The last thing she remembered was Efe driving her home. 

Instinctively her hand reached out to him with the arm that wasn’t throbbing with pain, her fingers trailing over his face. 

Serkan woke up to the sensation of fingers combing through his hair. His eyes settled on Eda and his heart stopped in his chest for just a moment before accelerating at a faster rate. She was awake and staring back at him. 

He caught her hand as she started to pull away. “Eda.”

Eda was surprised by the sound of his voice. It was like he was choked with emotion. “What’s going on? Why are you here?”

“You were in a car accident,” Serkan stood so he could get closer to her. 

“That doesn’t explain why you’re here?” Eda said, she tried to sit up more but it was too painful. 

Serkan was there instantly, gently wrapping his arms around her and pulling her up. “Are you comfortable now?”

Eda nodded in answer to his question. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“You were hurt. You almost died.” Serkan told her. How could he be anywhere else other than exactly by her side? 

“What does it matter to you now?” Eda asked, she could not have Serkan at her bedside, looking at her like she was everything he wants. Her heart can’t take it. 

“It matters to me because I love you, Eda,” Serkan said, his voice hardening. “I can’t see anything more happen to you.” 

“Love?” Eda glared, getting worked up. “You don’t love me. You love your work. I was nothing but a distraction.” 

“Stop.” Serkan shook his head. “You don’t understand.” 

“Then explain it to me because I remember you ending things because I was an inconvenience. If you ever loved me you would have never seen me this way.” 

“I lied!” Serkan snapped. 

Eda's eyes widened. “What?”

“I lied,” Serkan said, tone softening. “I found out something and I knew it would hurt you and I wanted to protect you from the pain. I thought if you just hated me it would be better this way. Easier.” 

“You broke my heart to protect me?” Eda's eyes flashed with anger. “That is so stupid Serkan. I don’t need you to protect me.” 

Serkan looked away from her. “I’ll always want to protect you.” 

“Let’s have it then,” Eda demanded. “What was so bad that you had to lie and break my heart?”

Serkan looked away from her and started to step away. 

“Serkan!” her hand snatched his and tugged him back. “If you ever loved me then you will tell me.” 

Serkan looked at the ceiling, he clenched his jaw and looked back at her, steeling himself. “My father is the reason your parents were taken from you when you were just a child.” 

Eda’s hand fell from him. She didn’t know what she was expecting him to say but it wasn’t this. “What? I don’t understand.” 

Serkan blew out a slow breath before telling her everything by the time he was done, Eda was openly crying. “I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to hurt you and I knew I couldn’t be with you. You would only be reminded of the worst day of your life every time you looked at me.” 

Eda sniffled her heart aching as she finally knew the truth. “I don’t know how….I can’t..I…” she couldn’t think.

“I’m sorry, Eda,” Serkan said sincerely. “I am so sorry. If you want me to leave, I will but I need you to know, none of what I felt for you was a lie. I’m so in love with you. It hurts. I understand you can’t be with me but I will always love you in a way that I didn’t know I was capable of.” 

Serkan blinked back tears and stepped back.

“Don’t.” Eda held out her hand for his. “Serkan, stay. I want you to stay.” 

Serkan stepped forward, he was scared to hope but how could he not as he took her hand in his, lacing their fingers together. 

“I hate how you handled this,” Eda said. “It hurts to know the truth and it hurts that you decided for me like what I wanted didn’t matter.”  

“What you want always matters. I couldn’t imagine you, holding any amount of affection for me after learning the truth. I didn’t want you to suffer being face with your parents' tragedy every time you look at me.” 

“I don’t see my parents when I look at you, Serkan,” Eda said, with a shake of her head. “I see the robot who broke my heart and my trust.” 

“Tell me I can fix this. If you can see a future with me now after knowing the truth tell me what I can do to fix what I have broken.” Serkan pleaded. “I will do anything that you ask.” 

“First, I want you to apologize for making me think you didn’t love me and for hurting me.”

“I’m sorry for hurting you. The last thing I wanted was to be the reason for your tears. I hate it when you cry, the sight of your smile brings me more joy than you can imagine.”

“And I want you to promise to never lie to me again.” Eda continued. 

“You have my word, I will never lie to you again,” Serkan promised. 

“Okay,” Eda nodded and a smile pulled at her lips. “Then if you wish you may stay with me.” 

“Then I will stay for as long as you allow,” Serkan promised, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to her cheek. 

After a long moment, he pulled back reluctantly. “I will go and get the doctor.”

“Wait,” Eda stopped him. “Can you just sit with me a little longer? I want to be alone with you. I..” Eda paused, she hated to admit it but it was the truth. “I missed you.” 

Even when she was furious with him, she had missed him.

Serkan smiled, a breathy laugh escaping his lips. “I can promise you that what I felt being away from you was more than just missing you. I was missing my other half. My love. My heart.”

Serkan's hand cupped her cheek and Eda leaned into his touch. 

Serkan settled onto the edge of her bed, his thumb brushing Eda’s cheek and smiling down at her. 

Eda, his angel was offering him a chance at forgiveness and he was not going to waste it. 

A/N: I will be writing a second part to this and be forewarned it will have SMUT.

If you would like to be tagged for further installments let me know. :)

[elenatria]

OKAY BUT FOR FUCKS SAKE WE NEED ALL THE DETAILS OF WHERE, WHEN AND HOW YOU MET THE GOD!!!!!!!!!!!

I still haven’t processed everything, not because I’m starstruck that I saw Stellan for 3,5 seconds but because it was a miracle that it even happened. So this is not a “Stellan made me feel like a queen for five minutes” story (there was no time for that), it’s a “setting an impossible goal and achieving it” type of story. 

 @alyeen1 and I were discussing Stellan attending the Gothenburg festival back in January, and I was lamenting the fact that, despite learning about it three weeks in advance, the beginning of the new year had left me broke. I was totally regretting not having the money for that trip and Alyeen1 and I were comforting each other, making “what if” scenarios for the veeeery distant future, like “hey, don’t you guys have the Berlinale...? What if Stellan attended the festival for one of his new films...? Just an idea.”

Not long after that, Google alerts notified me on “Hope”, Stellan’s new film, having its European premiere there. Talking of getting my wish granted right away, I mean I had talked to talk, now I had to walk the walk, right? I’ve never taken such a big decision on such short notice - super scary, super urgent.

“Soooooo is Stellan coming?” was the obvious question. There was no way for us to know. We started spamming the Berlinale people with emails until someone pointed at the right direction, the film’s PR agent who said that the cast would be attending the premiere. Then @stellan-pip-69 suggested I should ask Andrea Bræin Hovig herself, Stellan’s co-star in “Hope”. Andrea is a total sweetheart, she answered right away and said that they would indeed be there. I mean, I couldn’t possibly be taking two days off work, spending four days and 500 euro on a whim no matter how much I love Berlin. 

However, we had no further info on where exactly Stellan would be. What we did know according to the Berlinale site was the time and place of “Hope”’s press conference and premiere. Thank god for Alyeen, the Valoris fandom’s resident Berliner, who had bought tickets for “Hope”s screening at the box office.

One day before the screening we were making plans and thinking of routes and timetables, and also we gained some experience from Hildur Guðnadóttir’s talk (who is an absolute darling as you can tell from her vids and acceptance speeches). 

See, after Hildur’s event we waited for her in the cold rain for about an hour and realized it’s not enough to be there early enough or to know which exit the celeb will use, or to run fast enough to get to them first: we also had to deal with autograph hunters who were bigger, stronger than us, outnumbering us, pushing us aside to get dozens of autographs signed by Hildur. They were pushy and persistent and had control over the situation, over what Hildur signed and for whom. Giving me permission to get  that selfie with her. It was almost nightmarish. 

After that, and as we dragged our feet back to the subway soaking wet, we were dwelling in despair and uncertainty. There was no way we could fight off guys who were doing this for a living. And what if Stellan had HUNDREDS of fans screaming his name? What if Stellan lost his patience with all those autographs he had to sign, like Hildur lost hers?

However, I got a glimpse of hope while waiting for the metro when I thought... “You know what? We’ve come so far. We’re doing everything right. We even rehearsed our moves, elbowing people and stomping on toes and screaming Stellan’s name as loud as we can to get his attention. We’re even willing to camp outside the fucking press conference hotel. We can’t possibly fail.”

But for all our meticulous planning, I was responsible for an almost-failure because of my delay the following morning. Remember what Stellan said? Never be late. Never ever. 

So, although my goal was to be at the press conference almost an hour and a half before, we got there only an hour before. That almost cost us everything.

Alyeen knows her way around Berlin and she knew the hotel had various entrances and exits, not just one. Lo and behold, as we approached it from the side, we noticed the road was closed and alongside the pavement there were bars draped with red and yellow Berlinale banners, with small groups of people hanging from them like ripe fruit. As we kept walking, I noticed a spot close to the hotel’s exit where it was getting a bit more crowded, so I peered across the street to see which celeb had attracted their attention and--

-- f-uuuck.

When you see Stellan Skarsgard’s head for the first time in your life hovering over a bunch of fans who are shoving things to sign in his face , there’s only one thing to do.

RUN, MOTHERFUCKER.

That’s all I could whisper to Alyeen1 in utter panic. 

“--run. Run! Ruuuuuuuuuuun.”

I’ve never left a friend behind so quickly.

So we ran like hell. 

We got behind the crowd and I tried to pull my cellphone out but it was too late, Stellan was already thanking the fans and disappearing into the building. If only I wasn’t late that morning!

Years of stress and running and being late have taught me to take a deep breath, give myself a second chance and try to find peace in the eye of the tornado, so I pulled out of the bag a piece of cardboard Alyeen had given me to draw “Hope”s poster with a sharpie. That would calm me down a bit and the wait wouldn’t be so unbearable. Besides we were front row and there was no one between us and the hotel exit, although we still didn’t know which side of the corridor Stellan would pick first, left or right?..

So here’s my reasoning behind the drawing: the previous evening I had wasted my sleep trying to figure out how Tom Hiddleston’s fans were able to stalk him in filming locations (you see, Tom has a wide network of fans reporting on his every move, Stellan doesn’t). Also I wanted to see how his fans got front row on the red carpet and how they got his attention, how they made him do things like kneel for them. I noticed that in order to do that you had to 1) be a flashy cosplayer who catches the eye 2) nag Tom persistently with a voice that’s higher than your usual tone until Tom indulges you. It has to work, right? Like a baby crying for food.

But I’m no cosplayer, I’m an artist, so the idea was to hang a big-ass drawing of mine in front of the barrier to get the attention.

Turns out... I didn’t even need it.

After waiting for about an hour and a half and worrying that Stellan had already left through another exit,  after watching the door open and close half a dozen times and seeing busy celebrities rushing off without signing a single autograph, we were on the brink of despair. 

Until the door opened one more time and 

Stellan was there.

I don’t remember what we did or what we said,  all I remember is that we called his name and dammit, that did get his attention. So we were the first he approached. Fuck.

As soon as he heard us calling him he gave us a broad welcoming smile and was ready for the selfies -  but guess what! I had forgotten to turn off the fucking timer, so Stellan moved on before the pic was taken.

God no. Not now. 

As he was taking a pic with Alyeen I begged him to come back for another try. He said he was too busy and had other fans waiting for him, there were too many of us, but I begged for like 2-3 seconds (a lesson I learned from that Loki cosplayer) so he came back and indulged me one more time.  X__X

After that I was dead inside, not only because I had to beg (I don’t do begging) but also because I had to be a burden to Stellan Skarsgard himself. Like, give me what  I want but please kill me afterwards, okay?

So yeah. Dead inside.

This is why I couldn’t relish the triumph right away, and to Alyeen’s enthusiastic “We did it, we DID IT!!!” my response was a numb “... Did we...?” >__>; 

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Inevitably, I had my stress attack after I got what I wanted. Also, I was just realizing that my stupid ancient phone couldn’t use the data I paid for before flying to Berlin so I had to desperately look for free wi fi and post the selfie before... someone stole my cellphone or something. 

For all the mishaps, we got to the red carpet so early that there were very few people waiting before us. Lucky for us 1) this is Berlin, not L.A., where people flock from all over the U.S. to take selfies with celebs they don’t even care for 2) this is Berlin, in February, so it was freezing cold and not many people were willing to freeze their asses off at the red carpet 3) this is Berlin, and crazy screaming fans are scarce. Unless you’re Johnny Depp but thank god Stellan is not Johnny Depp.

Andrea was the first to walk the red carpet and I was really bewildered by the fact that no one was screaming her name. So I called her. And she came! I thanked her for answering my PM and asked for a selfie (I must admit I take better selfies with women than with men). 

She was so sweet with me that I actually gave myself time to think and pull the cardboard sketch out of my bag to show her. I was like, whatever, you have it there, just show her.

She was so excited that she pulled out her phone and took a pic of my sketch. *___*   Crazy, right? I went to Berlin to find a king and found a queen instead.

The rest was like playing out a script. A couple of minutes later, Stellan came out of the car and started signing autographs and taking pictures so I had my second chance at a better selfie. Phew.

So nice of him, so so nice of him.

And oh, look at us lol.

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A post shared by Stellan Skarsgård Fan Acc (@stellanskarsgarddd) on Feb 24, 2020 at 11:32am PST

After the red carpet we could finally breathe. To my surprise, we even had access to the photo call itself in the Zoo Palast lobby.

Stellan was being playful with the photographers, knowing it was his job to pose but also being “whatever” about it, having done it a million times. He gave them one last pose going “Hey hey heyyyy!” and disappeared behind the blue panel until we saw all of them again after the end credits.

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The only thing I kinda regret is the fact that Megan was right there, right there, a few meters away from me as her husband was being photographed, but I didn’t dare ask for a selfie because the seats weren’t numbered and we had to rush into the theatre to find a good place. Damn. 

Until next time, I guess. Because there will be a next time, dear comrades. And hopefully Alyeen1 and I won’t be alone. 

[boogaloomagoo]

Whiskey Lullaby | Nic & Margot

We laid her next to him beneath the willow While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby

This was a bad idea. This was a genuinely foolish, poorly thought out, half-baked idea that was going to get her killed. Why had she even thought this was something she should suggest carrying out in the first place?! Margot was practically pacing a hole into the motel sidewalk, in her human form for the time being but still making certain that she was in a fairly cornered, darkened area. God, she really fucked it up this time, didn't she? Sure, I'll be your bodyguard for a potential clan of werewolves that will come for blood! TOTALLY rational and doable! What the actual fuck!? Granted, she thought she could take on two of them by herself - she had in the past. But more than that, any more than that, or an unanticipated factor being thrown into the mix, and she was utterly screwed. Well, then again, it wasn't as though she would be fighting them off alone. The guy -- Nicodemus, right -- he seemed more than capable of handling himself. If worse came down to it, they could tag-team and potentially come out with few scars. Hopefully. Groaning in her throat, the blonde finally rounded a corner before coming face to face with a door. Yeah, this was his. He'd given her the number earlier. So, all she had to do was... Swallowing thickly, she raised a fist and, after hesitating with it mid-air, rapped on the door three times.

Nicodemus felt good about himself and that should have been the first warning sign: he never felt good about himself. Existence was simply there and he was a blood-meat vessel inside of it, chugging along. But with the bottle of the American Honey that Blanche sent him, he felt decent. He hummed. He decided early on once his mouth started tingling and his fingers felt warm that he should stop sharpening his knives. Safety first, for whatever the fuck that even mattered. Somewhere outside, he knew Margot was wandering about. That went beyond his understanding, her willingness to suddenly protect him at all costs. He didn’t get it and the more he thought about it, the more his brow creased and the humming in his throat cracked. At least she hadn’t called him a hero. He would’ve lost it right then and there. Found another hopeless tree to splinter and shatter until the destruction felt good. For now, with whiskey in him, he could allow that to be what made him feel good. Small allowances. His own humming distracted him from the knocking until he heard the final one. The whiskey was doing its job at blocking things out, it seemed. Grabbing a flannel shirt to throw on from his kaleidoscope box of them, he forego buttoning it as he peered through the eye-hole. Speak of the bear. He unslipped the lock and opened the door wide, a lazy, baby-sized smile on his face. “Evenin’ Gold. Slow night out there?”

The seconds that ticked by following her initial knock seemed to roll by in slow motion, as if time had slowed after the action itself had been carried out. Or perhaps that was how Margot's mind simply perceived it - caution coiling in every taught muscle, anxiety mounting like a shadowy figure looming behind her, fingers digging so tight into her bare upper arms so as to create the indents of very angry, equally anxious little moons in the pale skin. When her ears caught onto the muffled sound of a lock being undone, she attempted to straighten her posture from it's already ramrod state, jutting her chin out slightly and placing both hands on her hips - all in order to present an image of self-assurance and confidence instead of the frightened child muttering to herself about getting in trouble that lay just below the surface. When the door finally revealed her charge, however, her shoulders slumped a bit, brow furrowed lightly in mild confusion. He was... smiling? Okay, that was definitely a shift from the negative shifts of his lips about a week ago. Not that it didn't look nice on him, but -- why? "It... I guess you could, uh, say that..." And what was-- Gold? Something - displeasure, familiarity, a simple passing sensation - something clenched within Margot's gut upon hearing the nickname. Her eyes shifted to glance into what little of his room she could view, and the glint of something caught her eye - a bottle? Or two? Soon enough she was leaning in a bit to give a tentative sniff of the air around him. The scent of whiskey; faint, but unmistakable. That explained just about everything. The blonde could feel the corner of her mouth lift up in a partially amused smirk. "I'm guessing you're having a fairly good night so far?"

The hunter blinked languidly at the bugbear. His mouth felt dry and his tongue traced around his bottom lip as he sent a cursory glance to either side of the door. Nicodemus didn’t particularly care what it might’ve looked like to some shitty voyeur. Didn’t particularly care for much, regardless. But a care was still there somewhere. He returned to look at Margot, back straight and her posture screaming professionalism. All she needed was a badge and uniform, then she’d look ever the part. ‘Do you know how fast you were going?’ A low laugh started in his chest and he fought to keep it down, his hand coming up to cover his mouth. Damn, his cheeks felt warm and he bit his lip to draw the blood somewhere else. He hated that he was one of those blushy drinkers. “I don’t think there’s any wolves in the room,” he said, eyes casting up and to the right as he thought. He placed his hand low on his hip once more. She was smirking at him and dark brows rose when his eyes fell on her again. “Goin’ well so far, yeah. I’m enjoyin’ the fruits of my labor.” With his upper body turned, he gestured to the bottles of Wild Turkey American Honey. God bless Blanche Harlow and her fake ID. “At least I ain’t doin’ it dead ass in the middle of the woods somewhere. Then you’d really have your work cut out for you, huh?” He was talking a lot and not drinking enough, but now he had a guest and his expression brightened by a fraction. Southern hospitality and the need to pour himself another shot kept him locked between her and the doorway. “You allowed to drink on the job, Gold? Plenty for two.”

Blue eyes watched his facial expressions shift with a silent curiosity. Alcohol had such an intriguing effect on people - some could be swayed into a flurry of anger, others drowning in their sorrows the deeper they sank into a bottle. And then there were those whose spirits seemed to lift with each shot, higher and higher until they were floating happily on a cloud that nobody else but themselves could see. Where the hard lines were akin to rusted-gears that had seemed to ground out each furrow of his brow and every frown, there was now a smoothness, an ease with which his features rose and fell. He was definitely in a better mood than the night they met - although, Margot could argue that from their conversation online, he didn't exactly seem to be a person whose dander was always up. But to see him so obviously relaxed, possibly even, dare she say - bordering on a giggly drunk? "Yeah, I definitely would not recommend that. I'd hate to have someone catch a bear hauling a boozy guy back to his hotel room. Not that I'd mind," Or would she? Should she? There was far too much effort tacked onto that particular train of thought, and so Margot decided to focus on his offer instead. She quirked her mouth to the side, glancing over her shoulder as though someone of import might be watching their exchange. "I..." She hesitated for another beat before releasing the grip on her hips, nodding fervently. "Sure. Why not? It is a pretty slow night, after all," She noted with a small, appreciative smile up towards him.

He watched her thoughts cross over her face, a thoughtfulness to it that he wasn’t expecting. He had expected her to leave, go back to whatever post she had picked and leave him by himself. But she hadn’t and she was engaging with him. A lot of people were talking to him a lot more lately and Nicodemus didn’t know how to process it, like a kernel that wouldn’t come out of the garbage disposal. Kept clacking around in his head and confusing him. “Well, cher, you did say you were a big ass bear,” he said with a slow smirk of his own, his words heavy with Cajun drawl. “That sounds like somethin’ a big ass bear wouldn’t have a hard time doin’.” His fingers lightly tapped at the door frame as she considered his offer. Again, he’d expected a no. A quick getaway and a shrug, that was it. But then she was nodding at him and he fought hard to keep his mouth from parting in shock. Oh, she had agreed. What the fuck? Right, alright. He offered, she accepted. A smile shifted his shock away. Sometimes shit didn’t always go the wrong way and while he could barely grasp on that watery concept, droplets still remained on his fingertips. It took him a minute that felt like an hour before he cleared his throat and returned her nod with a slow, deliberate one of his own. He stepped back to the side and gave her space to enter. He wasn’t a particularly messy individual and he was glad that sober Nicodemus had bothered to put the knives and guns away in safe places. Very little in the room said much about him, aside from the snowglobes, whiskey bottles, and the half-read copy of The Count of Monte Cristo. His thumb traced the pulse in his neck. “Help yourself. Honey whiskey alright? Ain’t just askin’ because you’re a...” His voice lowered thoughtfully as he closed the door, a secretive smile tweaking the corners of his lips. “Y’know.”

Oh. Right. She had... actually referred to herself as that in their online conversation. Another effort to prove herself hardy enough to take on the task of being a competent guardian for him. Right. Sometimes, Margot truly did wonder why she chose certain phrases, but in reality most of them were taken from either television or what she'd heard other people around her age utilize. It just seemed like an accurate depiction at the time. "Exactly, totally what I am. So, not out of the realm of possibility at all," Was he all that surprised that she had accepted his offer? Perhaps. It wasn't as though either of them came off as particularly social, which actually worked a bit in her favor. He didn't seem the type to pry, and Margot wasn't fond of those who did. So far, everything was playing out smoothly. Stepping past the threshold into his room, her gaze idly found itself lingering on his frame for a moment, noting the unbuttoned flannel with a bit of familiarity. She herself had a cornucopia of them, varying patterns and makes, due to the functionality and comfort factors. Flannel was a good thing. Next she focused on the interior of the small room, hands once again finding purchase grasped onto her arms in front of her chest - a protective sort of stance, but not exactly defensive. Not at the moment. Oh, wow, had he really just...? A prompt snort flew past her lips, head tilted back to regard him with a quizzical yet amused expression. "I'm more of a berry girl, if we're being honest. But honey'll do just fine," Her own lips curved up of their own accord, arms lowered to hang a bit more loosely; guard slowly lowering. "Or was that a blonde reference? Goldilocks? Barbie? Hell, I could go on all night.”

Nicodemus held his hands up in mock surrender. "Won't catch me sayin' different." Fuck, it felt so strange to invite someone in. The smile and the heat up in his neck, living in his cheeks, were well and truly alive. But there was a cold in him that burned hotter than any fire that liquor could start. Frigid and near-death since before he knew what death meant. Loneliness is a shield, solitude is a weapon. If any of you isn't made of steel or iron, what use is it? Softness served nothing except the dead. It didn't serve him. Yet he clicked the door shut behind him, grabbed one of the plastic hotel cups, and started to pour honey into ice. "Nothin' pretty. In fact, it started lookin' cleaner after I got here." Fill the emptiness with noise. He took a sip and felt better. Did she just snort? Yup, he was feeling good again. Smiled at her as he offered her a clean cup. "Guess we're just gonna have to compromise then, huh?" The flush was there again and he moved away, occupied himself with the small gathering of things on his table. It didn't do well to idle. Too much could happen if he did. At her question, he turned back to look at Margot. "Your hair, uh, it's like gold. Honey gold. Whatever. Y'know what I mean. Don't think they have bugbear Barbie yet. " He shook his head and rubbed at the back of it. Tugged at the back of his flannel shirt. "Y'want ice?"

"Good," Margot fixed with a stern gaze void of any actual seriousness, the upturn of her lips giving that away quite easily. The step that she had taken, both physically and metaphorically, entering a portion of his life by going into his hotel room, was beginning to feel less daunting the more she took in the surroundings. They weren't unfamiliar; she and her father had stayed at the Traveler's when they initially arrived in town. And she could clearly recall not wishing to linger here any longer than they had to. Now, however, in a room that was obviously being more lived in compared to a one-night stay, there was a sort of... coziness, that couldn't be denied. Indeed it looked a lot cleaner than their room, a soft hum of approval at the insinuation. "I don't doubt that. I seriously didn't see one maid the couple nights I stayed here," Pale fingers rose to take the cup from him with a gentle thanks, glancing down into the contents before taking a sip. She couldn't help but shiver, face puckering as the sting rode it's way down her throat. And then he was mentioning her hair again and, in favor of focusing on his last question, she took a step towards him. "Do I know? Never had anyone call it honey gold before," She then tilted her head, allowing the loose waves to cascade a bit with the motion. She wouldn't deny it - Nicodemus intrigued her. All new people did, but based on how they had met, he could definitely be classified as a special case.

“I’ve got a running theory that the place is run by vamps and ghosts,” Nicodemus said, a slight conspiratorial edge to his tone. “I haven’t seen a soul since I got here.” He looked at her curiously. He knew little to nothing about her, but that was changing. She knew French, liked Secret of Nimh for some fucking reason, had her own little shack in the woods, and had stayed in the Traveler’s Rest as well. Whether or not that last one established some sort of camaraderie, he wasn’t sure. Staying at the place felt like passing through a certain veil into a next world. Or that was just the effect the town had on his head, let alone the whiskey. The whiskey that had her face puckering and he let out a little laugh. “Sure as shit ain’t berry, is it?” He wondered what the berry stuff she liked was and if it would be worth trying one day. That thought was short-lived. His brows pinched together as she stepped closer to him and he tipped his head back slightly to look down at her. Did she just shake her hair at him? The image of a bear once towering over him, fur splitting into gold, rooted him in place. A sip of his whiskey followed before he answered, his gaze holding hers. “”Spose you don’t,” he rumbled out with the slightest lift in his shoulders. “Probably haven’t had to play bodyguard for anyone either. Off to one hell of a start in a series of firsts, huh?” He smiled, his teeth making a rare appearance before they were gone just as quick. The hunter held the tip of his tongue between his canines. “Guessin’ that’s a no to the ice.” A step back and the space between them widened as he took a seat at the rickety table he tried to balance out with the bible from the nightstand. “Sure I’ve got some cards around here or somethin’...”

Ghosts were a concept she could readily agree with. They meandered the woods a great portion of the time, and in her bugbear form were not only visible, but could be interacted with as well. Some didn't care to pay Margot any attention, but there were those who would talk for hours, even when she couldn't technically communicate back. But they still remained a good company for the most part. Vampires, however - vamps - Margot couldn't help but seal her lips to contain the mounting laughter rising up her throat. Once she was certain she had a decent grasp on herself, she nodded, albeit a bit reluctant to admit that was the reason for not seeing anyone around. "Could be? Not that the ghosts I've met make it a habit of running motels, but, maybe that's a side-job they don't talk about," Observing Nicodemus, Margot came to the assumption that he likely had a 'running theory' about quite a lot that went on in White Crest. He didn't seem the type to be overly paranoid, maybe a healthy dosage like she herself possessed. Or was she attempting to find similarities that simply weren't there? Either way, she had gotten him to laugh, even if at a bit of her own expense - that was progress. She shook her head, lips smacking as the taste lingering on her tongue and a shiver ran through her frame. "Nope! Not even close... But this is good, too. Put's hair on your chest," Her palm thumped atop her own as if to prove the point, letting out a minor cough. Ah, there was that contemplative look, directed solely on her. She never felt the urge to wither beneath it, like when most men of his stature and demeanor would gaze at her. Then again, it was fairly obvious to her that Nicodemus didn't fit into the category of 'most men' at this juncture. "Not by choice, no. There were times, but... yeah, this is new. I don't regret it, though," She felt the need to tack that last part on quickly, fingers clenched a little tighter around the cup. When he distanced himself, she took a moment to wade through a thickness that felt far too similar to loss, and quickly tipped the remnants of her drink down her throat. Oof, that burned something fierce. Gasping out a rough exhale, she shook her head and followed after him - not sitting, but standing just a few feet across from where he rested. "If not, we could always play Never Have I Ever. I've heard it's a good game when you wanna get to know people," And I'd like to get to know you.

Nicodemus rubbed a hand over his bare jaw before he tapped at his bottom lip thoughtfully. “Know many ghosts, huh?” Somewhere in him, beyond the steadily increasing tide of honey liquor, he recalled that bears and ghosts were familiar with each other. But it was a surface-level understanding. It was enough of one to get by with, enough of one to act on whenever the time and the money called for it. In his hotel room, with the air conditioner set to comfortably cool, time and money had little to do with him or Margot. “Don’t recall ever meetin’ one, so I ain’t puttin’ off ghost motel just yet,” he said offhandedly, a slim assured smile present. If he kept running theories, checking numbers, he wouldn’t get lost in thought. Getting lost in his head was a dangerous road to stumble on. It would lead him deeper into territory unknown, territory like not allowing death to come for a bugbear. He wondered what that meant for him. He didn’t believe in fate and nothing believed in him, yet...He looked at her. There it was, getting lost in thought. The hunter looked into his plastic whiskey glass like both an epiphany and an epilogue. It brought him back and he glanced up at her. Up at her because she was still standing. The familiarity of the moment wasn’t lost on him and for a breath of time, he just looked up at her. How the hell did either of them get there? What made him worth protecting and what made her worth saving? Thoughts and considerations so rusted in his head that they ground together like teeth in a restless sleep. And then he smirked. “Not regrettin’ it too much either. Y’know you can sit,” he said with a laugh like the hum of an engine. A machine loosened by the liquor in his gears, in his head. He slid his hand across the table to tap at the open spot across from him. “I won’t bite you or nothin’.” She wasn’t kidding when she said she preferred something smoother like berries. Even then, she still humored the heat he offered and that was a perplexing thought. Never Have I Ever. Reflexively, like blocking a hit, he sat up a touch straighter and loosely folded his arms across his chest. “I’ve never heard of that one,” he admitted but didn’t rebuff. He was curious. Slowly, he nodded. “How does it help you get to know people?”

"A few. Definitely way more here in White Crest," Which was saying something when you took into account that the world was literally teeming with ghosts to those who held the ability to see and interact with them. "They, uh, they're pretty conversational. Which kinda sucks because the most I can do is grunt and nod along to what they're saying," A bemused smile flitted across Margot's lips at the memories of her walks alongside those numerous spirits, and she nursed her bottom lip gently. "I could always shift and see where they hang out. Tell you which spots to avoid or, y'know, where they hide all the soaps and shampoos," A sly wink turned in his direction, peach-toned lips curving into a mischievous smile. She could certainly find plenty of ways to benefit him if she so chose to - the real question was why would she?

Did all of this stem from the fact that he had saved her? It seemed the only plausible explanation, mainly due to the fact that aside from her father and... well, nobody else had. Not in such a dire situation, where most others would have simply turned away and let nature run it's course. And then in a blur of screams and growls and blood and fur and torn flesh - he was there. She was growing uncomfortable with musing on the why's and the how's, though, because it never stopped at face value for her. She could tear away into the depths of people's motives, whether she needed to or not, and the possibilities, the never knowing, haunted her more than she could ever express. So, she wouldn't dwell. Now, she would sip at her whiskey, slide into the seat offered to her, settle back and regard Nicodemus as he simply was in the moment - a person. Though her brows arched in mild surprise at his next assurance. "Well, that's good to know. 'Cause I definitely bite back," She paused, then immediately chuckled, low and hearty, fingers loosely splayed in front of her lips. Whoa, where had that come from? Was it too forward? Fuck it - they were drinking whiskey in his motel room. Fuck verbal caution.

"Okay, so, it's basically a drinking game. One of us says something we've never done before. But if you have done it, you drink. And we go back and forth, yadda yadda, and in the end one or both of us just get entirely shit-faced. Sounds fun, right?" She had leaned forward a bit in her explanation, front row of teeth gleaming as she beamed at him, before motioning to her cup with a small quirk of her brows. "Gonna need a filler, though." Ghosts didn’t make any sense to him. A controversial thought considering what Nicodemus did for a living. People died and that was it. It didn’t pay to believe in anything that came after. He didn’t have anything to tether him to the world. Why Margot would smile about ghosts, he wasn’t sure, but she seemed...happy about it. Not that he was someone that could recognize happiness unless it pressed against the back of his eyes with a knife edge. But she looked happy about it and he got caught up in that thought, wound up tight that he didn’t speak for a long moment. “I don’t know about your bodyguard duties dipping into incorporeal territory, Gold,” he finally said with a raspy laugh. “But if I start feelin’ haunted, I’ll let you know.”

The pad of his thumb rubbed blindly against his fingers as he alternated them. A slow circle before he moved onto the next. The rest of him was motionless, yet some part of him always needed to be in motion. Perhaps that was why he hardly slept. He wouldn’t blame it on anything else, like a sudden resurgence of conscience or deep thought. ’Cause I definitely bite back. The hum in his throat caught and he threw back the rest of his drink to chase down any thought that was surging up. “Jesus fuck,” he coughed out as he adjusted in his sea to close the centermost button of his flannel shirt. He felt like fire, like burning itself. “Went down the wrong pipe, boy howdy.”

The hunter offered Margot a dry smirk, looking between her eyes and her hair. The latter, an odd object of fixation that he felt far more comfortable attributing to the drink in him than anything else. A drink that he needed more of. “Alright, I think I got the gist of it,” he said with a nod as he unscrewed the bottle and topped himself off. The hunter’s eyes focused on her cup as he leaned forward, his fingers on hers for a brief moment as he held her cup and filled it just the same as his. “Guess I’ll start?” He asked as he sat back, lifting his eyes to look at her. “Never have I ever...sang drunk karaoke.”

"Then you should've gotten the silver package. Comes with a guarantee of protection against 'Ghosts and Ghoulies' of all kinds. It's not too late to add it on, either. Just two easy payments of diner turkey clubs," Mmm, did she love those sandwiches. Then again, there wasn't much in the food department that she couldn't rightfully stand. But what surprised her more than the fact that he was willing to pay her in food was how... open, she currently felt. Not 'open' in the sense that Margot would be willing to spill every secret about herself to an... acquaintance? No, it was the much safer kind, the one that would ramble on about being a flannel aficionado and lover of all movies with Madeline Kahn.

Maybe it was the whiskey. The burn had filtered out after her last drink, leaving a pleasant warmth to reside in her limbs and belly and head. That familiar sensation of being grounded yet floating at the same time encompassed her entirely, and every time he would look her way, there was always a trace of a smile playing on her lips. Even when he seemed to choke on his own gulp, and she made a 'Pffft!' sound before covering her mouth with widened eyes. "Oh cripes, are you... yeah, you're fine, you're fiiine," Her momentary worry formed and dissipated in the same blink of an eye, hers finding themselves lingering on the fingers buttoning his shirt before shifting to her cup.

Then he was filling her cup, which apparently meant that his large fingers find purchase around her slim ones. The digits didn't tense, for once, instead focused on the sensation, savoring it for a later memory that might mean something or nothing at all. This time there wasn't a coldness to his retreat, just a tingle along the skin as she raised the cup slightly, already prepped to take a sip. And down it went with his first Never, the corners of her mouth raised high in fond recollection. "It was the summer of 2013," She began after lowering the drink, tongue prodding the corner of her mouth, "My dad and I had literally just... stopped at this bar after our shift - we worked at the same welding factory, then - and it just so happened to be Karaoke night. We were a couple beers in since we lived within walking distance of our place, and, I kinda gave my dad this look... I had to drag him on stage, but, eventually we got up there and belted out Queen. God, I wish I had a camera for it, we. Were. Amazing," Margot chuckled at the memory, before righting herself in the chair and clearing her throat. "Okay, okay. Never have I ever... gotten so drunk I blacked out."

“Oh, now I gotta upgrade? I think you’re startin’ to swindle me here, Gold,” Nicodemus huffed, his shoulders shaking with the quiet laugh. With the liquor burning in him, it felt alright to laugh. It almost felt alright to live. With the fire in him, he wasn’t as much of a rundown cathedral of fallacies. Lost to time, lost to decay. Mossgrown and tired. His skin felt alive under his own fingers, pads tracing lines and faint scars across his palm. “Here I thought you were just wantin’ to put that you donated to charity on your tax forms by bein’ here.“ His laughter continued in spite of his own self-degradation. He was untouchable. He was damn near as open as a church on Sunday, yet one door still remained closed.

He swallowed down the irritation of his throat and chose to numb it with more whiskey. That was how it worked. That was how it always worked, didn’t it? “It ain’t gonna be this that kills me.” He half-assedly raised his plastic glass like a false king. A king of nothing, not even the lone inheritance to the Bossier name, and there was freedom in that. As small as it was, considering the way he willingly bound himself to the life of hunting. The Bossier name meant little, but he took pride in what he did. He looked at her. It wouldn’t be the booze that killed him. Maybe it would be letting someone in. He passed that thought over and leaned in.

Margot was a great storyteller. Far better than he was. She didn’t stumble over her words quite like he did, or answer in minute grunts when someone laid their life out for him. There was a liveliness to the way she spoke that kept him focused entirely on her, his fingers no longer swirling and his heel no longer bouncing. She spoke of her father with such fondness that he almost felt that ugly green creep up. He didn’t know his dad and considering the way he fucked off to nowhere, it didn’t matter. But her story did and he smiled down at the table when she finished, his hand against his neck as he learned. At her next Never he grunted and shrugged, throwing back a quarter of his own drink. “Once. It’s real hard for me to get there, constitution an’ all, but hoo boy, when I got there, I got there,” he said with a shake of his head. “I was headin’ out of New Orleans for the last time and I hit up Bourbon Street. It’s, uh, notorious for its indecency. Anyhow, I just kept drinking at bars until they kicked me out and I just made my way down.” He pantomimed walking down the street with two fingers. “Stopped by every bar. I think it was the second to last where I don’t remember what happened. Woke up in an alley with beads and, uh, someone’s bra across me like a bandolier. Might’ve been two.” His face heated at the memory. It didn’t occur to him to consider how he got there. That he had heavily thought about smothering his mindless grandfather just an hour before he took to the street. “Alright, alright. Think I’m gettin’ the gist. Never have I ever...Never have I ever been awake for two days straight.”

The smile that began inching across the stretch of Margot's lips was soaked in impish glee, tongue poking out to dip across and savor the lingering hint of whiskey. At heart, she yearned to enjoy life - had been brought up to believe that in the most quaint and quiet and simple of environments, lay the most cherished of memories made, and for the making. The closed off exterior lent itself for others to believe the opposite. She was a paranoid shut-in whose only solace was finding out new ways to seal herself off from the world and it's many, many dangers. Her father had inadvertently aided in creating that image, though she knew it was born from the right reasons. They had no other means of protecting themselves where physical altercations weren't concerned. "You don't 'gotta', just a suggestion. I'm looking out for you here, dude.”

The idea of Nicodemus being a charity case struck a sour chord, and her smile faltered slightly, eyes lowering to stare down at her cup. With the air of calm bemusement that settled between them, she idly wondered if this was solely being done out of regard for his safety. Right now, she was enjoying herself, enjoying another's company. That... just didn't happen very often in her life. Not outside of herself and her father.

Obviously he had fallen prey to her next Never, and she watched with eager fascination as he downed his own gulp, awaiting the story behind his reaction. Already she felt the beginnings of a smile curl upon her lips, but she attempted to stave it off for as long as possible. Though she couldn't stop a snort from arising from her, head bowed slightly. "Mm, that's... definitely interesting," She would have asked what size bra it was, but he seemed sufficiently bashful about the entire ordeal, so she wouldn't pry for the time being. Still it was enough for her to snicker lightly. Until his next Never. Her laughter trailed off into silence, and she tilted her cup with loose fingers before raising it to her lips in a long swig. Not pleasant. "Definitely done that before. Not because I wanted to.”

The strangeness of the situation settled over Nicodemus as he watched Margot smile and much like when someone cried around him, the inebriated felt compelled to match it. His large hand wrapped around the small plastic cup as he tapped out a nameless rhythm. No gun in his hand, no knife between his teeth. Somewhere else, he might've felt vulnerable. On edge and looking for an out. But he didn't. He didn't think whiskey was the reason for that. Why he felt comfortable around Margot, he wasn't sure and that uncertainty made his fingers tap. Tap not clench. She didn't have to give a shit that danger was lurking for him around every corner, under every crack. He himself didn't give a shit. "Yeah, yeah, I hear you," he mumbled, looking down. "Still gettin' used to that shit."

Her demeanor shifted and he frowned at himself. Rude and dismissive, he absolutely could be. A lifetime of no social contact other than his grandparents and the occasional stranger in the front yard with hard eyes had left him ill-prepared for company. A killing machine, yes, but a social butterfly? He was a hornet. To consider being anything else was death.

They were drinking again and he welcomed the burn of distraction. "Interestin' is a word for it, yeah." He rumbled when he laughed, slim crows feet landing at the corners of his eyes. Nose scrunched. The hunter shifted as she downed her next Never. Suddenly, he wasn't interested in the next Never and more interested in the story behind what she didn't say. Her response said enough. "Ain't keen on it either if I'm bein' honest with you, Gold. Don't sleep much these days. This," he paused as he added a little more to his cup. "Is supposed to help. Mostly doesn't, but hey, placebos been around long enough, ain't they?" His tongue prodded his bottom lip as he chewed over the question. "Can I ask what happened?"

Margot could have guessed the exact words before they formed in his throat. It was only fair, considering that they had both divulged the details of their respective Nevers thus far. Of course, she also hadn’t meant for the game to take such a three-sixty where it concerned the mood of said truths. Margot’s lips twitched to the side, becoming a tightly clamped seal. Her hesitance was worn like a flashy outer garment - there was no need to hide it, and with Nic being as perceptive as she believed him to be, it wouldn’t have done any good either way. Her chest felt suddenly far too tight, as if the whiskey had burned too deep, siphoning a portion of air from her lungs. Constricted and in desperate need of release. She exhaled, long and slow through her nose, before forcing a smile onto her features. One that appeared almost as pained as she felt.

“You make a habit out of something, you’re bound to make yourself believe in it. Hell, maybe it actually does work in some weird, twisted way. Enough that you don’t stop,” She wasn’t directly referring to Nic or his issues with alcohol, nor would she ever. Vices were, and should be, to each their own. Her father had them, her mother once, and she certainly held a fair amount. Coping was coping - whether a mechanism or a method.

Talking things out was supposedly a method. A shitty one, far as she was concerned. But, the game was the game. “I was thirteen. And… we had just moved. Again. Maybe the fifth time… Sixth? No, no fifth, I remember. We’d come from Dulvey - it was so fucking humid, and we were in the car, sweating out every ounce of water we’d poured into ourselves. ‘Cause the air condition had stopped working a while back, and we never got the chance to fix it. Not before dad… had his feeling,” A bitterness laced the word, lines reminiscent of a scowl forming along each side of her lips. “See, after… stuff happened, my dad got real paranoid about hunters. Not animal ones - hunters who go after people like me. People who aren’t people, in their eyes. And he swore we were about to be found out by this group of guys he worked with. Said they were asking him too many questions, didn’t like the way they’d look at me when I stopped by to visit him. So, we packed the little we had and just... left. We were living out of a motel at the time, barely stayed longer than four months. We never stayed in one place very long. And dad… God, he was so fucking tired. And I knew how to drive, so I did. Three days, we just drove. Or we’d stop and rest, but when he thought I was asleep, I never was. I couldn’t. ‘Cause all I could think of was ‘The moment I close my eyes, they’ll catch us. The moment I let my guard down, that’s when they’ll come’. So we drove, and I didn’t sleep until we made it to the next state. And even then it felt wrong,”

By the time Margot had finished, her body had sagged, eyes slightly hazy as they stared listlessly at the table below her. She should come up with another Never, a part of her mind echoed. But the other half wondered what the point was to all of it. To any of it. 

Nicodemus watched her without blinking. As warm as the whiskey had made him feel, it seeped out of him fingers first. Not at all unlike the dispassionate cold in which he rounded up still-warm bodies and dropped them off. Not at all unlike cold, crisp dollars in his hand. In his pocket. Supposed he made a habit out of that too. But he didn't believe in it. Didn't believe in anything. He believed in the certainty of an odd number of bullets and the evens that leveled out at the end. His jaw tightened to a painful, sharp angle. He let go of the cup before the plastic started to crack but not before he tipped it back down his throat. His bad habit. He pulled away from the table, receded like a slow wave. A sick sense of humor burned his belly like acid as he listened to her tell her story, tell her fears, tell her tragedy. Hadn't his started the same? The death of a mother. The fear, the uncertainty, the knife's edge of oblivion that whispered a moon song. The kind of song that kept him dancing, blood like ribbons around his wrists. Or chains. When he closed his eyes thirty years ago, sleep evaded him. Sleep was where the demons came. Vulnerability was an open door, for either a hand to hold you or a hand to bite you. Either one could end it all. Bite his own hand and he could suffer alone. Decades old scars patterned his palms, cut off his lifelines before. Disconnected him from the then and the now.

As she finished, near lifeless and colorless, he said nothing. Maybe that was the knife. Maybe that was why he never asked for names. Names meant something. Completed faces and eyes in a way that unnerved him. The hunter exhaled a slow, steady breath through his nose as he finally allowed himself to blink. She looked at the table as he looked at her. His eyes narrowed. His tongue pressed against the sharp point of his teeth until he tasted his own blood and swallowed it. The poor excuse of a fan overhead circled precariously. His eyes slid past her, to the dim clock on the table. To the slip of a moon peeking in through the curtains that never closed right. Warmth crept in at his neck. His hands slid to the table. A lone finger began to tap dully against the wood. The finger just to the right of his trigger finger. She must have had an idea what he was. How he tore a wolf in two with just a silver knife and that damnable Bossier spirit. The one he couldn't seem to exorcise himself of. If you bleed, make the other bleed more. Wordlessly, he grabbed the bottle of whiskey and drank it entirely. He screwed the cap back on and set it down. Now well-oiled, Nic cracked open his iron jaw.

"Fear keeps you awake. Sometimes you have to kill it to sleep at night."

His voice was low, devoid of that mirth from before. Why didn't she just tear him in two if she even had the inkling of what he was? She could do it. Her bite was stronger. For as hard as his eyes were, the edges of his face softened. Waned under her presence.

"If I put my head down right now…" he glanced back to look at the misshapen form of a pillow behind him. "What's gonna happen, Margot?"

As easily as the game had begun, it had slowed to a halt. If anyone recognized that all good things came to an end, it was Margot. The moment he had asked, the second the story came to mind, the aching pause before it had finally rose in her throat - all frustration and bitter bile waiting to be expelled, not viciously, not spat; it drooled from her, drained thick and heavy and cloying, unending like the searing road had stretched over those long three days. No matter how many times she had repeated the entirety of events inside of her head, it never seemed to be enough. And like a poison of the stomach, it churned and circled and only grew in acidity until it seemed to eat away at her from the inside out. She had emotionally vomited right in front of a man who she had seen only once before, had seen bare and exposed, had talked to even less. And her belly still ached from the purge.

She didn't watch him, or maybe it was couldn't. More had been said between them than the simple telling of a story; she was certain he had to be aware of that. Nic wasn't stupid. That was both a relief, and a blatant danger. And the longer she sat with him, becoming aware of his mannerisms, his voice, had traced the sharp edge of his jaw when it thrust against skin and was certain it could cut diamond if he wished to do so, the more she began to realize that her forced naivety could not, and would no longer last. He was what he was, what they all were, and she had come to that realization before they sat at a table together in a crappy motel room. It dawned on her the moment he decided not to kill her.

Why did that seem so long ago, now?

Her gaze finally lifted, only to flicker to the bottle as it was hefted into a firm grasp and emptied of its remaining drops. Not unlike the second he drained the life force from that wolf. Swift, and decisive. Yes, that's what he was. There was no more room for a maybe. And she was, and suddenly stood once his question had lingered a few moments into the silence between them. For all the listlessness that had been her form prior, Margot righted herself fully; tall, proud, sharp. Blue gaze locked onto his features as she inhaled, fingers curling towards her palm atop the rickety surface. “I told you,” Exhale; fingers slowly splayed out as she approached him, the edge of the grey cardigan draped around her shoulders brushing against his arm. A small, almost sad smile formed, features softening in… it wasn’t understanding, but acceptance. 

“I’ll protect you,”

[notdeadjusttrash-blog]

My Friend has been Falsely Accused of Tracing So I Will Defend Him

Okay I accidentally deleted the blog I posted this one because I’m a dumbass, so I’ll just repost it here even though I don’t use this blog anymore, but apparently I still have followers. Bless caches because I was able to get this back from google caches so I don’t have to retype everything. I added further evidence and refutes to claims that were not in my original post btw.

Anyways, I am making this post to help out my good friend @5ru9 aka Falco who has been recently accused of tracing/copy pasting other people’s / official art!

I’ve known Falco for over 3 years, and we’ve grown as artists together. Once in a while we give each other advice on art (thanks for the mech and armor advice and teaching me how you line and color!), but most of the time we just meme each other.

Anyways, a lot of people have pointed out that they’ve seen him livestream before, and he’s already posted some of his block outs and other wips as proof that he does not trace in his post here:

http://5ru9.tumblr.com/post/168277137427/hello-i-have-been-informed-about-a-callout-post

To further prove his claim with solid evidence, I shall present to you!

Times he’s asked for advice on his art, or I randomly decided to mention things I notice in his WIPs!

Exhibit A-1:

A Tenkai Knight he made up! I pointed out a few things I thought were awkward about the perspective in his WIP.

Exhibit A-2:

He started working on this way back in July and didn’t finish it until much later because he was working on several other pieces at the same time. I suggested lowering the eyebrows and drawing the eyes a bit narrower to get more of the playful expression he was aiming for. In his final piece here, you can see that Falco continued to refine the piece.

By the way! The reason he sometimes posts a lot of detailed artworks one shortly after the other is because he sometimes works on multiple pieces at once! And then finishes coloring them around the same time.

Exhibit A-3

Falco and I spent good time trying to figure out why he felt like something was wrong with his sketch! I thought maybe it was the trapezius and I decided to red line (or blue line i guess) it so it’d be easier for him to see approximately where i thought the line should go to fix it.

Exhibit A-4:

The gif-ing process turned white bg into blue… anyways! Falco showed me an early version of his Tenkai Knights OC that he eventually used in an April Fool’s joke to pass off as a new character in the series. He mastered the tenkai style enough that at first glance, people really did believe it was official! Like you had to get a good look to realize Shiyu was not really a real new character! Btw I had to go into my old twitter acc to find this…. (Edit: the gif wasn’t working bc it was too big so i had to make it smaller… and choppier and stuff to fit the mb max)

Well now that brings us into!!!

Exhibit B

Some of his old art!! (I’m so sorry falco i’ll be exposing your ancient art to ppl now)

Here you can see his progress from 2014 Tenkai fan art to early 2015! It starts looking more and more like the official art, which is what he was going for.

For reference, here’s what the character Ceylan Jones/Washizaki looks like:

I blocked out fan art by everyone except falco (which i marked) that shows up in this google search. Everything else is official art. The two fan arts by falco you see here are more recent, the angel one being from 2016 and the chicken one from 2017 (i think he also made a version with sonic instead of the chicken? lol). They’re both on his dA accounts btw! The 2017 one really looks like official art, doesn’t it? But it’s his artwork! He practiced a LOT to reach that point, and I hope the earlier arts I showed above this one are enough to convince you in his art progression! Side note: i only used images w/ceylan because 1. i’m biased because ceylan is my favorite character and 2. he drew ceylan a lot because ceylan is his favorite character Also you can see his handle change from s3iwashi to burningbraven. 5ru9 is is a pretty recent handle.

ANYONE WHO HAS BEEN IN THE TENKAI FANDOM FOR A WHILE CAN VOUCH FOR HIM!!!!!

And now for the last one,

Exhibit C

WHAT? WHO IS THIS???

This is my favorite character from a Chinese series called AOTU World! His name is Grey, or 格瑞。I commissioned Falco to draw Grey for me, and let me tell you it would be IMPOSSIBLE for him to have copied any of this. Why? Because the donghua is 3D and the manhua’s art is very inconsistent!

Let me show you the reference pictures I gave him to work with!

They’re all in my gdrive folder here: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1CqwH5KS-pHX0ZqLHQpoIZBi6W-gsU_Tz

This is all official art from the manhua, except the 3D model is from the donghua. Look at how inconsistent the references are! There’s no way he could have copy and pasted or traced this! Grey doesn’t even do this particular pose anywhere. lol. I told Falco “give him a cool sword pose”. (I’m sorry for being so vague, Falco! But it turned out great!!) The style he ended up drawing in was a mixture of all of them.

Btw!! here’s the blockout and the sketch he sent me before I sent my payment for the commission!! You can see his construction in the block out!! The arm construction and leg construction is light, but it’s there. You can also see the block out below the sketch. Notice he actually fixed the leg length from block out -> sketch?

ARGUMENTS AGAINST SPECIFIC ACCUSATIONS

LOOK, thte actual drawing doesn’t even match the sprites that closely. Pay attention to the collar especially. The whole frankensteining the image and then painting over it thing is just way more effort than drawing it himself. They don’t even match that well in the overlays. Like wow it’s such a crime to try and stay on model.

WHO WOULD EVEN NEED TO TRACE A MOUTH LIKE THAT? IT’S SO EASY TO DRAW. I CAN DRAW IT PERFECTLY JUST BY LOOKING AT IT. (well i AM an animator so I also do style mimicking)

Doesn’t the fact that you have to edit the sprites to match his artwork prove that you’re just a tryhard in making up fake evidence and not a tryhard enough at art since you think it’s so impossible for people to draw characters on model?

Yes he referenced the broom and possibly the heels from this image, but your overlays for the leg and arms are disingenuous and you know it. The leg positions are different, and the overlay doesn’t even match up. Face tracing also makes no sense. You literally stretched the mouth to try and make it fit but it still doesn’t fit. Do you really think it’s that hard to draw mouths and eyes in the DR style? DR faces are really simple to emulate. Also you fool, if you follow Falco’s artwork enough, you’d realize the way he draws bodies is actually rather consistent even as he does different styles. Especially when it comes to hands. His way of drawing hands is how I recognize his art and know right away it’s his art and not official art or a trace (also his coloring style). The heels he drew are also reminiscient of how he typically draws shoes/feet. he draws them bulkier. The other art has dainty heels. At most he referenced how backside works because he’s used to drawing sneakers.

Also come on, if all you referenced from an image was a broom because you liked the style (his is also clearly drawn by himself since you can’t overlay it on the other one. like i said he mostly used the style as a reference for how-to-broom) and you referenced pieces from many other images, are you going to list every single thing you referenced? While yeah it’d be nice to, it’s a little ridiculous to expect all 5-20 references whenever they post the image. It’s a thing where, if someone asks, you’d tell them, but it’s too much to list all of it. This isn’t a 20 page thesis.

If it’s such a crime, then holy shit sue all those people who parody other people’s comics and sue everyone who dares!!! to ever draw something remotely similar to someone else. Dang.

Art doesn’t live in a vacuum.

Okay, this one is just plain stupid. You distorted the sprite to match it up with his, but what would be the point for him to distort it just to trace? Also if he traced, can you explain the rest of the fingers that are drawn nicely but clearly different from the sprite? Also the thumbs don’t even match up. His faces more downward while the sprite is facing more forward. Also explain the turned body in Falco’s sketch, then!! And the hair! OH WAIT YOU CAN’T EXPLAIN IT BY ANY OTHER WAY THAN HE DREW IT HIMSELF!!! BECAUSE NO SPRITES MATCH IT AND YOU CAN’T FIND ANY SPRITES TO DISTORT ENOUGH TO EVEN GET CLOSE TO MAKING FAKE EVIDENCE FOR IT.

By the way, the style he drew it in is closer to the drv3 than this sprite. while it’s pretty much the same style as the older games, drv3′s art is more refined than the older games. Falco’s art is also more refined as you can see. (wow not only did falco’s art improved from back when we first met; even professional artists improve. shocker. /s)

Dude what the hell? The overlays don’t even match up even ifi you tried to frankenstein them. And these are really common poses at really common angles, and once again, must every single thing we reference from be listed in the description of every place we post an image? Let me just list all 30 videos and 50 images i used as reference for one of my prints. jfc.

As for the saihara animation based on the digimon opening animation? It was pretty clear to everyone that it’s some kind of parody. Many people when making parody animations don’t mention the original video either?? It’s a fun thing for fans of the franchise to recognize the reference themselves. Yes he could have said it was the digimon opening on the description, but at least he didn’t say he thought of the idea himself? And if you talk to him about the animation, he will openly tell you it’s from digimon. And the fact that you think it’s a trace despite how much the overlays do NOT work out is practically proof that you’re just doing this maliciously and hoping that saying he traces enough with shoddy evidence will make people believe you.

ALSO PEOPLE LITERALLY TRACE ANIMATIONS TO MAKE PARODIES OF, DOWN THE STYLE WHERE ALL THEY CHANGE IS THE HAIR AND OUTFIT, AND YET SOMETHING WITH DIFFERENCES EVEN DOWN TO THE STYLE LIKE THIS IS SOMETHING YOU THINK IS A TRACE? Do you need a new pair of glasses?

I was gonna ignore this one because it was the same as a lot of the others, but you literally erased Falco’s face line so it would match the sprite, and you covered the bigger boobs Falco gave her, and totally ignored that the angle doesn’t even match properly. Like you covered parts of his sketch in your overlay just to make it look more like it matches, but if you actually fucking overlayed it correctly, even with squashing it, it won’t fit. (Also sorry to point this out Falco, but the circles on your goggle lenses are too small compared to the sprite; Maybe if you actually traced like this person claims you’re doing, they’d be perfectly like the sprite. OH BUT WAIT YOU DREW IT YOURSELF SO OF COURSE THERE’S SOME DIFFERENCES. JUST LIKE HOW EVEN THOUGH ALL YOUR OTHER WORKS ARE REALLY CLOSE TO THE STYLE AND PRETTY MUCH ON MODEL, THEY’RE NOT EXACTLY THE SAME WITH THE SPRITES! SHOCKER...!)

HOLY FUCK. I already pointed out and gave evidence that Falco started on the Nier Automata drawing waaaaaaay before he posted the actual picture. The 2 sketches are sketches! They don’t take a super long time. I busted out 10 inktobers in 1 day. (thumbnails of my artwork below)

Look I even even lined and colored 5 fairly detailed chibis in 1 day (i did the sketches earlier though. btw i hand drew the plaid on ray. it was annoying)

At the moment I have 5 wips. They’ll likely all be done around the same time. I know Falco often has multiple wips as well, and sometimes he also finishes some of them close to each other. Some artists (like my friend Fish) can pump out extremely detailed paintings in less than a day. WOW some artists can draw at a fairly fast rate. WHO KNEW? (manga artists in weekly magazines pump out 15-20 pages of manga in a week)

He’s still developing a style; he’s mostly doing style mimics of series he likes in the mean time.

At the moment he’s mostly experimenting with the drv3 style, but he was practicing p5 earlier. By the way, he DESIGNED a phantom outfit for mishima. Who the heck would he copy that from? He made it up because he loved mishima and wanted to make him part of the gang in some AU fan art. Mishima doesn’t have artwork like this for him to trace, so it should be obvious it’s his own work.

And the pokemon and crash bandicoot ones are actually not that close. The pokemon one looks like a good attempt at imitating the pokemon style, but since he hasn’t practiced it enough, you can tell it’s a little off model because, well, he drew it himself and doesn’t practice the pokemon style a lot. Same with the crash one. Had it been a trace, with his level of control over his lines (which you can’t refute), it would have been much closer.

And you act like it’s a crime to imitate others’ art style. It’s really not. What is wrong with you? Do you want to slow down animation production by only letting the character designer draw everything? Or do you want animation where the art has 0 semblance of consistency because all the artists draw in vastly different styles? lol. What do you have against artists that try to stay on model?

LOL THIS IS ONE IS SO STUPID WHERE DO I EVEN START?

Oh, I KNOW. Why don’t I do that same pose with my own hands?

IT’S A MIDDLE FINGER, YOU IDIOT.

Just because YOU don’t know basic anatomy and can’t tell a middle finger from a pinky, doesn’t mean everyone else is as incompetent as you. He wasn’t doing the rock-on hand pose (sry idk if that pose actually has a name lol), and he’s drawn the rock-on hand pose properly before.

Closing statement

I believe I covered a lot of things and provided a lot of evidence here that Falco and his other friends did not cover in his defense against the false accusations.

I even added more counter arguments in this repost because apparently my original post wasn’t enough to convince people.

Perhaps the person calling him out meant well (no, I doubt it because they made a new side blog just to diss him because they knew if they did it on their actual blog, they’d be called out for being a jerk), but they did not do enough digging to find out if their claims were true or not (and they probably know well enough that they MADE UP THEIR EVIDENCE).

If you’re going to make a call out post, please make triple sure sure of everything before you accuse people. Talk to them first. Talk to those who know them too.

Many jobs require you to be able to draw characters exactly in the style given. Animators for example! There are multiple animators working on one series, and they all need the skill to draw consistently! Some games also have teams that need to be able to draw in the same style so they don’t have to leave everything up to one person. Comic artists often have assistants that help them draw background characters, but those background characters can’t be too different from the main style either.

As for the people who believed the call out post before, it’s perfectly understandable. I am also guilty of falling for similar posts in the past. Due to that, I decided it was best to double check before retweeting (i say retweet because i use twitter far more than tumblr these days. heck i almost never post anything on this blog) things, and if i wasn’t sure, I would just leave it be.

I hope my post was able to convince you on Falco’s innocence and all his hard work. And if you already believed him but checked out this post anyways… Thanks! ObligatoryPleaseWatchAotuWorld.

And again:

Art does NOT exist in a vacuum. All artists are influenced by each other and MANY artists, especially professionals, use a lot of references, whether it be from photographers, their own pictures, others’ artwork, life, or whatever. We all use many different resources. If you’re going to say that’s wrong, you just dismissed millions of artists in the world.

[anyway-i-love-vanderwood]

You are a wonderful person, artist, and writer!! Seeing notifications from you always brighten my day!!!

Anonymous said to anyway-i-love-vanderwood: You know what's awesome? The top of a blueberry muffin. And also you. You're awesome

Anonymous said to anyway-i-love-vanderwood: You know what's wonderful? You. ♥️

vicereine said to anyway-i-love-vanderwood: hey there cool kid, i know you just said you dont like showing weakness & stuff and you probably have people to talk to BUT im offering my virtual ear because i think you're really great and i'm all about helping and supporting great people. i'm so glad you've kept this blog running for so long, you're so creative & write the characters so well & so much you've written has given me comfort, i can only hope my thanks offers you some in return

hybrisanaideia said to anyway-i-love-vanderwood: You're a wonderful, funny person from what I can tell, who writes rib-busting works I can revisit time after time and still find them as good and hilarious as the first time. I think you're pretty brave to be able to run an imagines blog since I usually have to stick to Anon to do stuff with them, and you're incredibly industrious! I mean you've likely written over 200k for this blog? It's amazing honestly. I'm sorry you feel upset by having to interact with that person. but I hope this helps.

Anonymous said to anyway-i-love-vanderwood: i know that feeling, dear, and i hope you can get out of that situation asap, get a nice warm cup of tea and feel better soon! you are only human too and it's okay to show these emotions. here are some things i love and appreciate about you (as far as a follower can see): your humor, wit, creativity, mind, knowledge, how well you can analyze people and characters to the core, how nice ypu treat all of us and that you give it your best despite everything going on in your life 😄😘 

ikeistheallstar said to anyway-i-love-vanderwood: I heard you needed support rn so I'm here!! It's totally okay to ask for it when you need to especially if you're going through a rough time! Ive always loved your headcanons since you are so creative and amazing at writing! I'm always happy to see a new post from you even if it's not headcanons! I'm excited to see you show yourself more on this site since I'm curious, but not in a weird way, like your interests and passions! I hope this made you feel better, and that you have a great day!

ihavenotfallenyet said to anyway-i-love-vanderwood: Vanderbabe I would literally knife most of the world's population for you jsyk

Anonymous said to anyway-i-love-vanderwood: You are wondeful and your writing is amazing, I love that you used vanderwood in your name. This sassy bpy deserves more love.

Anonymous said to anyway-i-love-vanderwood: Your writing has helped me through a lot and I wish I could help you properly right now in this trying time but all I can offer is reassurance that the world has a way of working things out and you'll be alright, I wish I could do something more.. just know me and a lot of other people are here routing for you. Sometimes when I'm sad I think about how when we're cold it's really just our bodies trying to warm up the rest of the world. Idk if that helps but it makes me smile sometimes 

Anonymous said to anyway-i-love-vanderwood: You are amazing and are so kind, I kind of look up to you when I write things ^^ so to me, you're amazing and awesome and yeah :) 

i-am-thou-thou-art-i said to anyway-i-love-vanderwood: Hello!! So your blog is one of my favourite blogs and your writing style is actually beautifulll and just makes me so so so happy!! I'm not acc that interested in mysme anymore but I still check your blog regularly because that's how amazing it is. I saw your post and I just want to say don't feel bad about venting on this blog x what's happening to you is awful and you don't deserve it x I think I speak for all of your followers when I say we love and respect you so vent as much as you need to

krogans-give-the-best-cuddles said to anyway-i-love-vanderwood: Hey you're amazing!! You're a good writer and artist and I have your notifications turned on so that way I never miss a post of yours! Thank you for existing and making this blog 

ashnable said to anyway-i-love-vanderwood: I know you don't know me, but seeing your post, I had to reach out. Please, don't ever feel weak or weird for feeling the way you do. It sounds like whatever this person did to you, you probably have a very good reason to distance yourself from them. Whatever you do, however you choose to handle it, just be sure that it is best for you!  

damnedcat said to anyway-i-love-vanderwood: You are loved here and we wish to see you happy. You deserve to be happy, to have the chance to dream and grow, to be yourself and do the things you love, do the things that make you you! You are so special, and this may be a difficult time but you have friends here, willing to lend you an ear whenever you need it. We love you and support you. ^^Anonymous said to anyway-i-love-vanderwood: You're my favorite writer in just about any fandom I've ever been in! You're an incredible person and I really loved your rant about apple too lol. I hope you manage to feel better soon!

✿ I’m so... overwhelmed by all of this positivity, love, and support. Not only do I appreciate every single one of these heartfelt and kind comments, but I just - want to let anyone else know, anyone who’s going through a hard time, that not only is the world filled with generous and gentle people like the ones who have messaged me today - but that I support you too, because it can be rough out there. Not only have you given me comfort, but you helped me pull myself out of an anxiety-cycle and instead do more productive things. like pet some animals. and cuddle a dog. and write some V stuff.

:3c 

Anonymous said to anyway-i-love-vanderwood: Can I draw you something?? If I draw you something can I dm it to you? I'm uncomfortable posting my work publicly but I love u and want to do something for u

✿oh my god, if you did, i promise you i’d treasure it. i always save everything people draw me, it just.... makes me so happy to be thought of with such kindness!!!

Anonymous said to anyway-i-love-vanderwood: can I just say that zen and yoosung's friendship in the new route is the best thing in the world and I never knew I needed it

✿ i KNOW thinking of it makes me so happy. ugh. it’s in other routes too and I just??? it’s so precious?

i-am-thou-thou-art-i said to anyway-i-love-vanderwood: so random story: there's this cat that we see around our street a lot. then one day I look out the kitchen window into the gArden and there that cat is. so for visuals, our garden is a overgrown unruly mess like think baby jungle. and so the cat is just sitting on the ledge and is just staring at a spot and doing nothing. just staring. it stayed there for like 15 mins, left then did the same thing the next day. I like to think the cat felt like a tiger in those moments in its own little jungle

✿ I LOVE CATS. that’s so ADORABLE. what a precious angel 

Anonymous said to anyway-i-love-vanderwood: my brother calls me the other day when he's out with a friend and I'm like what's up? and he goes to me 'tell my friend that it is NOT normal to go into his house for cash and come out with a plate of food instead and eat it on the street'. my response was ofc its normal (BC trolling ym brother is way too much fun) (but seriouslsy my brother has the weirdest friends istg)

✿ Haha! It’s like a house restaurant! I love it.

squiggl3 said to anyway-i-love-vanderwood: I always love seeing your writing and your art on my dash, you have such a distinct warm style that in any or your works it feels welcoming. You're an amazing mutual who is hilarious and talented, and I am so happy I got to meet you and become mutuals with you ♥♡💜 

✿ AHHH, SQUIGZ! ♥♥♥ The feeling is mutual, my mutual! You know, it made me so happy to see you following my MM works. You (and your art!!!!!) are both so delightful. 10/10 would follow forever. 

[twisted-sparks]

I’m sorry that i always have to complain if i come up here once in a while, but there is an issue again i just have to get off my chest. And ofc its about top & his birthday hashtagging “scandal” If you wouldn’t know (but i highly doubt that there are any fan that havent heard the story) korean vips asked intl fans before top’s birthday that we should not trend any hashtags on twitter, because we should keep the silence & protect this sacred day & him from stupid badmouthing people. BUT ofc the intl fans are pure justice warriors that now suddenly decided to break out from this & finally end this quiet peace - so they literally shitted on the kvips whish. All right, i said, everybody is free enough to do what they want to do. Personally i supported kvips with the silent celebrating but i didn’t had any opposition against the hashtag thingy (i just havent reblogged birthday wishes with it). Then, at the end of the day a big blessing came: top’s precious mom posted a pic w/ him on her ig acc. Everyone was joyful, and finally we could saw his face: he is with his loved ones, freely, peacefully, hopefully happy as well. But what happened after, that is what fucks with my head right now & i seriously question some intl fans’ decency & respect towards others & the situation. A clever twitter user literally called the silent-suporters - that kindly told the others not to celebrate too loudly - fake.  Wow, now thats very interesting. What’s more interesting is this question: “who tf are you to still act like you know it all better..they gave us a sign that we can stop being silenced..are you that blind to see?” Well, to answer it, i happily stay blind for the rest of my life, but you being this stupid & ignorant is much worse and incurable, believe me - because, in fact, that’s not a sign. Calling such a precious & generous act A SIGN is very disturbing, nasty, ugly & just simply unacceptable. Top’s mom uploaded that picture to make us sure: he is okay, he is w/ his loving family & he is celebrating this day calmly just how he deserved. BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN HE IS READY TO COME OUT FROM THE SHADOWS & YALL CAN FINALLY SHOUT EVERY LITTLE SHIT OUT. What really enraged me is that we all should be happy that she was so generous that she gave us a gift - because she could easily decided not to. But because of her we could see him. He is allright & looks so good. But some dumbass justice warriors living in the west side feels obligated to rebel & take this way more seriously as it is and so they can call this as a “sign to finally open our mouth” and even USE TOP’S MOTHER’S NAME AS A PROOF. NO. JUST NO. THIS IS DISGUSTING. THE ONLY GOAL OF THAT PIC IS HER MAKING US SURE THAT TOP IS WELL. NOTHING ELSE. ‘Til top HIMSELF not decide to step in the spotlight again, nothing - i repeat - NOTHING IS A SIGN FOR YALL TO OPEN YALLS NASTY BIG MOUTH TO & TALK BULLSHIT. “he didn't get censored or cropped out anymore.... “ SO WHAT? He still didn’t come out and im pretty sure he had A LOT OF CHANCES TO DO SO SINCE THEN. Now, what do you think why he is hiding ever since? Simply: because he feels he aint ready. And whats funny is that seemingly everyone knows top so well, but as i see, yall aint shit. Its a well known fact that he has mental illnesses - thats why his life is a little bit harder than others’. Another big point here is that he is still serving his military enlistment. Those things are all very huge deciding points & that’s why kvips thought it will be better for every one of us to shut up. Don’t forget that this happened way before the pic, so you cant even use this as a justice card... But of course YOU are the CLEVER ONE that knows everything & everyone else is dumb. Nice try, but next time try harder because it didn’t work :) I mentioned that they act like they know top but in fact, well... it feels like they talk about someone else they dont even know. This sentence probably shows how much: “we are not going to keep silent anymore because THAT might harm him more than anything... “ Said by probably someone that witnessed what happened when everyone opened their nasty mouth even when the poor man liked something on ig & the public started to criticize him - or the recent accidental ice cream picture uploading issue. Literally that’s what caused him more harm than anything: that yall just cant shut the fuck up when yall finally should. Logic?? ZERO. And the cherry on top: “just stop acting like you know better than his own Mum”... Bih... the only one here acting up like she is in the middle of the happenings IS YOU. You dont have to be Einstein to know these basic things abt him & draw the conclusions, you just have to be a decent human being that actually cares. Oh... sorry, i forgot that appeariently you aint one because advertising yourself as a justice warrior is more important than thinking sane. Wow. So good. But you know what really makes me sad? That we can argue on sns abt these, then log on & off like nothing happened, but the only one that suffered & got damaged is not us. Nobody will ever know better than him how hard to live with this, or how he should think twice abt little things like posting a pic, showing face or whatnot - simply because he made a mistake he already paid for. That how he have to face things day & night. Because im pretty sure he started healing slowly, but i have a feeling that it will bother him & still wound him for a long time just to think abt it. That’s why yall should be just happy for what you got & stop acting up. Be a decent, understanding human being without acting a know-it-all brat. Because he still needs time to heal more to finally step out confidently - and intl fans knows half of it. Kvips at least can sense whats best for him. Intl’s? All yall did was telling blatant assumed shit all over the place & never helped the situation - but in fact sometimes it got worse because of it. So now yall can measure the thing that REALLY IS HAPPENING. And not what yall think its right to do at the moment.

[auideas]

Ask the Admins 13.0

anon asked: For any of the admins! I’m not sure if this was asked previously, so I apologize in advance. But what's everyone’s favorite au / prompt? (Also thank you guys for starting this blog, im forever grateful this exists)

Chamomile: awww! I’m grateful that this blog exists too (lol). My current favorite type of au’s are murder mystery au’s because of the Rabbit Doubt writing group I’m in so like, expect so many of those coming up soon. I’m also really digging superhero au’s.

M: I’m a fan of the whole “kidnapping / assassin / mob / killer” sort of a trope for some reason - it’s loads of fun to try and mess with original tropes and make them ridiculous, funny, modern, etc.!

Jynn: My fave AUs are ones that incorporate real life twists on typical AUs, like including people with disabilities.

@tomorraw​ asked: How many of you guys are there? Do certain people answer in certain genre? Or does everyone write what they are given? How did you guys meet? (Btw, this is one of my favorite idea blogs. They are so many different views on different ideas and so many genres.)

Chamomile: Currently there’s four of us! I know admin m and admin jynn from a loooong while back -- like two years back. Admin jynn and I go back to our homestuck roots (love her for that) and we’ve stuck together ever since. We all just kind of write whatever floats our boats! M: I met both Jynn and Chamomile through working on the Night Unvaled, which is a Night Vale Fancast that we wrote and produced. We’ve been friends ever since!! As for the certain genre thing, I can’t really say that we all write solely one genre, but we all certainly have our specialties!! Jynn: We have a posting schedule for who posts what when, but when it comes lists we all just take what interests us. Chamomile and I met more than two years back… in a Homestuck role play. Shortly after, we met M in a podcast project we were all working on and we've all be friends since!

Anon asked: what are some of your favorite tropes?

Chamomile: does “I love the way that you understand me and make me feel like I’m the only person in the world when you pay attention to me” count as a troupe? Like an OTP troupe? Bc that’s my ultimate favorite.

M: My favorite trope is messing with tropes. Best thing.

Jynn: “Flaws” turning out to work to someone's advantage!

Anon asked: What is pastel/punk or pastel and punk? I don't get it and google isn't explaining it to me because it's a meany

Chamomile: I remember this AU! It was an AU Friday list that I did and loved doing it! Basically, there’s  ‘pastel’ aesthetic which is very like, cutesy baby pink and pastel blues and other ‘soft’ colors being worn with other ‘soft’ aesthetic items like, glitter or hair clips or oversized sweaters ands stuff like that. Then there’s punk aesthetic, which very like, ‘heck all of you, I want to be comfortable and show that I’m rebelling against the social/political norms’. It can vary from person to person, so it might be better just to google ‘punk fashion’. The whole tag is supposed to be sort of an ‘opposite attract’ type deal.

Anon asked: So in regards to the color au in which you only see color once you touch your soulmate: what if you were born blind? Or when you touch your soulmate, it turns out that you are colorblind?

Chamomile: mmmmmm I’m not a fan of this AU bc of reasons I’m too longwinded about. Skipping this question for me.

M: I guess it’s possible and would make for quite the interesting change in AUs from the usual soulmate trope, but make sure you’re careful when it comes to writing AUs about topics you’re not personally familiar with (such as being blind), but go for it!

Jynn: Idk about it. Lmao I'm picky as heck when it comes to soulmate AUs, and this one has the potential to be interesting but never “stuck out” to me.

Anon asked: hi there! i'm new {ish}, and i've been looking thru ur old posts. i think it's really cool how u help ur followers, school related or not. out of curiosity tho, who is the person who according to that school survey watched so much anime? if u have time, would u mind asking?

Chamomile: Anon I want to know too like, please, show yourself.

M: We support you. Maybe. For the most part.

Jynn: Show ya self ur among friends. I too have consumed too much anime.

Anon asked: Just wanted to say I love your blog. It gives me inspiration! :)

Chamomile: Aaaaa! Thank you <3

M: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jynn: Awwwww!

Anon asked: just poppin in to ask if its okay for us writers to adopt these aus? and claim the whole plot as ours but still credit the bunnies (ie linking it to this acc)? thanks for clarifying!

Chamomile: Totally! We completely encourage it because it brings more people to the blog and also, we get a lot of satisfaction from seeing people enjoy our prompts! Here’s a link on how to cite our au’s: link

Anon asked: omfg, i still think the admins are gorgeous. like f***, you are cute.

Chamomile: Bless your heart, thank you! We really should update what we look like...

M: OKAY YEAH WE SHOULD PUT OUT UPDATE PICS!!!!!! BUT THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Jynn: :o ! Thx!

@genosha-meiuqer asked: Weird question. If you woke up one morning and realized you could grow a beard made out of cotton candy, how happy would you be on a scale of 1-10; one being not happy, and ten being extremely happy.

Chamomile: Genosha, I would be so hype, you wouldn’t understand. Like a 10/10. Even if I did get tired of my new cool cotton candy beard like?? I can just wash it off?? Because cotton candy is water soluble?? I see no problems here?? 

M: maybe a 2. Too sticky.

Jynn: 7/10. Might get sticky and tedious (and I work in and pool so it'd probably get in the water) but endless free cotton candy? Yes.

Anon asked: Deadpool 2 boyfriend? yes or no?

Chamomile: consider this….boyfriend….and girlfriend…..dating both at the same time….

M: yus

Jynn: Yes on boyfriend but NOT at the expense of a lady characters story ending badly.

Anon asked: what's your dream job?

Chamomile: whatever makes me happy? Right now I’m happy serving coffee and doing odd writer jobs in exchange for gift cards (#hit me up y’all), but in the future I might want something different so like, it depends as I grow!

M: Creative Producer in Hollywood!!

Jynn: Aaaa I wanna work in entertainment. Running tech, performing, whatever. Gotta be near that world.

Anon asked: Are you a part of any fandoms? Which ones?

Chamomile: oh jeeze well uhhhhh -- I still hold homestuck dear to my heart, but I’ve mostly moved into podcasts (SAYER, The Adventure Zone, WTNV, Carpe DM) and a lot of like, writing niche groups with my friends? If I can count those as ‘small fandoms’.

M: soooooo many: Nightvale, Merlin, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Harry Potter, Game of Thrones, etc. Too many.

Jynn: Still Homestuck like Chamomile. Various Nexflix series: Voltron, Stranger Things. Miraculous Ladybug too. Lots of Max Fun and Night Vale Presents podcasts, McElroy products. I work about 60 hours and week so I like things I can listen to while doing other things.

Anon asked: If you were a dragon, what would you hoard?

Chamomile:....scraps of paper. I have so many. I write down AU ideas and story lines on them and then just like, shove them into my bags and pockets and forget about them.

M: pens. so many pens.

Jynn: Useless cute stuff/LUSH products/stim toys probably.

Anon asked: M, did you draw the illustrations in your piece "The Beacon"?

M: I made it in photoshop, yeah! If anyone is curious, here’s the link to the fic (https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxP7qW60hE6fUmdSWDJMNHBhRGs/view?usp=sharing). The first draft was written by Admin Chamomile for a speed write but adapted and extended by Admin M just for fun. Go for it and read it if you’d like!!

(Chamomile: just gonna….slide this first draft right here….shhhhhh)

Anon asked: How long would you survive in a zombie apocalypse?

Chamomile: hopefully until humanity can find the cure, lmao

M: maybe a month. maybe.

Jynn: Mmmmm no.

Anon asked: Which Never Book quote is your favorite?

Chamomile: “What were you thinking in that last moment between life and oblivion?” Jynn: “So you take another hit, and sick into a whiskey flavored kiss because he’s not there to tell you no.”

Anon asked: Unicorn or Pegasus?

Chamomile: Unicorn! No real reason why. M: Pegasus. Fly bitches. Jynn: Pegasus is more utilitarian.

Anon asked: this is probably too late for ata, but have you ever wanted to write a piece where the characters are southern but you don't know how to write their drawl or accent or dialect? (currently going thru this for the walking dead)

Chamomile: This sounds like a really interesting “How Do I Write” segment soooooo check back on Thursday ;D 

M: ^^^^^^^^^^

Jynn: Not this specific situation. I live in Missouri so I know well how they talk lmao. I have run into something similar with an Irish character though, lots of research!!

[blcdeforhire]

"The Silver Hand killed Bezi." And strung his corpse up like a trophy

heartbreak || acc.

@welcometoaltima

     You tracked them, all the way out here, to their base of operation out in the middle of the Pale. Salvasi had offered to join you, but you refused to let her risk her life as well. Right now, the Companions needed her more than you did.

     You had to ask around, see if any of the locals had heard about this group of supposed werewolf hunters. They all pointed you in the direction of Driftshade Refuge, which didn’t actually look like much when you first arrived. From the outside, the building looked rather small, unable to fit more than a dozen Silver Hand comfortably. Of course, you knew that looks could be deceiving, and so you take the cautious approach.

     The two sentries stationed outside are quickly dispatched with well-placed arrows; you don’t even bother to loot their corpses before opening the door and heading inside.

     Just as you’d suspected, the interior is far larger than it appeared to be. Most of it was underground, and you’re sure that this place was once a rather impressive fort, especially given the broken walls you’d seen outside.

     You keep to your crouch, bow clenched tightly in one hand as you delve deeper into the pits of this horrible place. You see movement just down the stairway and pause, mulling over options for their disposal. You could summon an Atronach, but that would attract more attention than you needed. You could run in with your sword and hack them apart, but that would alert any other Silver Hand nearby. So, you opt for the third option: shooting them down.

     Your footsteps are almost dead silent as you creep forward, once more pausing as you reach the small stone wall. You drawn an arrow from the quiver on your back and notch it to the bow, drawing back and inhaling deeply at the same time. You’d seen Salvasi do this time and time again, drawing in a breath and holding it until she’d released her arrow.

     You aim at the first Silver Hand, gaze steady; as you release your hold on the draw string, you exhale gently. The arrow finds its mark, embedding itself in the poor sod’s throat. They topple over with a strangled gasp, and you have just enough time to draw another arrow as their companion rushes over to investigate. Another breath is drawn in as you pull the string back, gaze following the other as they pace back and forth around the area.

     Eventually, they give up searching for you, and you put an arrow in the back of their skull.

     It’s an agonizing process, creeping from room to room and picking off Silver Hand as you see them, but it would be worth it in the end. You could avoid direct confrontation and still have enough strength to face whoever was in charge head-on.

     After an incredibly tedious venture through this gods-forsaken place, you reach the final room. You prepare yourself mentally for what you’ll have to face - what you may find behind the door.

     No amount of preparation could have prepared you for what greeted your sight as the door swung open.

     ❝ Bezi– ❞

     You employer, your friend, hung lifeless from one of the posts nearby. Cold, blank blue eyes stared at you in silent questioning, asking why you hadn’t been there for him. Why you hadn’t thought to seek him out sooner. Why you’d allowed yourself even the briefest moments of hesitation before coming to search for him.

     Movement from the corner of your eye has your head snapping in that direction, a mixture of unbridled fury and heartbreaking anguish mingling in your normally sharp gaze. This man - these people - they were responsible for what had happened to Bezi!

     You toss the bow aside, drawing your blade as the leader comes charging at you. There’s a clash of metal against metal as the battle begins, but you know that you’ll win. Their silver weapons have no effect on you, and you’ve got several hundred years of experience whereas this whelp only had a few decades at most.

     The fight is very short-lived, ending as you impale the leader of the Silver Hand with your blade. As he topples backwards, lifeless, you fall to your knees, praying to every god there is for forgiveness.

     You should have moved faster. You should have left the moment you found Bezi missing.

     This is all your fault.

     You failed him.

     He didn’t mean to doze off while keeping watch, but days of traveling without much sleep makes it difficult to keep his eyes open. Teldryn woke with a wheeze, pulse racing wildly. The flicker of the campfire illuminated the fear in his eyes, the distress and the abject terror that the nightmare had wrought. With his chest heaving, the Dunmer glances around their little camp to make sure that everything is still as it should be.

     When he doesn’t initially spot Bezi, he panics, jumping to his feet frantically in hopes that his dream hadn’t become a reality. He nearly tears the clearing apart looking for the giant, only to discover that Bezi had been sleeping peacefully in his tent.

     Erratic breathing starts to even out, one hand tentatively reaching forward to rest upon the other’s shoulder. Bezi jerks into wakefulness, initially startled by the sudden contact - but when he sees that it’s only Teldryn, he relaxes. ❝ You okay? ❞ he prompts, sitting up with his brow knit. ❝ You look like you’ve seen a ghost. ❞

     ❝ … just– just making sure you’re real. ❞

     ❝ Of course I’m real! Why wouldn’t I be? ❞

     Teldryn forces out a laugh, though it sounds like anything but. He almost sounds defeated - almost sounds heartbroken. ❝ It’s nothing. Sorry to wake you. ❞