#okay maybe the other reasons are also true and valid

[quillthrillswriting]

"i love the internet because i get to learn new things" "i love the internet because i got to find a community"

HUSH. i love the internet because it lets me get as close to being batman as possible. i be sitting on public transit thinking "they don't know i'm a niche tumblr fanfic writer"

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

I feel like advice on loneliness comes in only three flavors:

"It's all mindset, learn to embrace being alone and you'll never feel lonely!"

"Your head is lying to you, you have friends and they love you!"

"Here's a list of places you can go to hang out with people and make new friends!"

Those are usually well-meant and I'm sure there are situations where they do help someone feel better - but they're definitely not universally applicable.

The first one is even plain wrong: connection is a basic human need. You can't just "change your mindset" and turn that off, the same way you can't turn off your need for food or air or mental stimulation. Humans are group animals. We absolutely need social interactions to stay healthy and sane. It is true that some people do not need a large number of friends and are happiest with just one or two close friends, and it is also true that some people prefer to fulfill their social needs in other ways than what's traditionally defined as friendship - but that's not something you can (or should) try to train yourself to do, that's just natural differences and preferences!

The only thing you could "train" yourself to do would be to learn to ignore your social needs and bury them deep down under layers of denial... and you don't need me to explain to you why that's a very unhealthy idea. It's sad enough that so many people have to do that to not lose their minds in loneliness, we certainly don't need to celebrate an unhealthy coping skill as a "superior mindset".

The other two at least get a bit closer to the truth: the solution for your unmet need is not to kill the need, but to fulfill it... but that's easier said than done, isn't it?

After all, "Don't worry, your friends love you!" doesn't help if you have no friends. Loneliness is not always "all in your head": Maybe you moved to a new place and don't know anyone there. Or you cut off contact with all your friends after a big fight. Or you grew up neurodivergent (or got mentally ill at a young age) and had no chance to learn how to make friends at the age most kids do, and by now you have been friendless for so long you don't even know where to start.

Same with "just go to a bar and talk to some new people" or "Take a pottery class and you'll meet some interesting people there" - that's not factually wrong, but also not helpful if the reason you feel lonely is that you struggle to make friends (or even struggle to just talk to people). Which can also be part of neurodivergence or mental illness, or just be a part of your personality (shyness), or be a result of isolating circumstances (like having spent a lot of time in a closed environment, for example a long hospital stay, and now feeling unsure how to connect with people outside of that environment). 

And those are just a few of the many, many possible explanations why someone may be lonely that require a more individualized approach - which is why we can’t solve loneliness with any one-size-fits-all solution.

That may be a somewhat disappointing-sounding conclusion in a letter on loneliness, so let me also tell you: hope and support are always within reach, even if it might take some time and patience to find them. The key is to remember that your feelings are valid and that you're not alone in your struggle.

First, recognize that admitting that you feel lonely, and wanting to take action based on that feeling, is a sign of strength, not weakness. You’re pretty insightful for recognizing your loneliness and super brave for wanting to reach out!

Secondly, be kind to yourself and allow yourself to take small steps. Small, actually manageable steps are crucial in any healing journey! If it’s not an option to just go to the bar or that pottery class, then it’s okay to start somewhere else. Maybe a therapist, a support group, or even online communities can be valuable “training sessions” for social connections. Even reaching out to one single person can make a significant difference over time. Your journey to finding companionship and connection might be different from someone else’s, but that doesn't make it any less valid (or achievable!).

Lastly, do consider embracing new activities that you may enjoy - but not just for the sake of meeting others. It’s important to nurture your own happiness and well-being when you’re feeling lonely. Those can be activities you can try out alone and even at home, for now! Anything that enriches your life is good. Long down the road, maybe it will lead to opportunities to connect with others, but even if it doesn’t: it’s important to incorporate new experiences into your life.

While there isn't a universal solution to loneliness, I truly believe there is a path forward for everyone. It's all about finding what works for you.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

[the-anxious-stargazer]

Like Honey || Sam Carpenter

Pairing: Sam Carpenter x Fem!Reader

Summary: Although Sam have promised herself to not get too close to anyone outside her newfound family, she struggles when she meets a regular in the diner she worked at.

Words: 4.02k

Note: This is inspired from Halsey's song Honey! i'd recommend you guys listen to it while reading :) i'm slowly starting getting into horror bc i dont want to be a pussy no more and watch them for jenna and melissa (they are so hot omfg)

[Masterlist][Part 2]

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Sam promised herself that she'd focus on Tara and the gang first before learning to let new people in again in her life. That promise was made when they all moved to New York after the murders in Woodsboro. After Richie. A betrayal like that is a valid reason for her to be closed off and be suspicious of anyone her sister or her friends meet. The same could be said for Quinn, Ethan, Anika, and everyone else she had met when they were introduced to her. Sam did warm up to the three the longer they stayed. She felt a little more comfortable with them when her gut told her that maybe they were genuine people. But she still almost kept to herself. She almost didn't have any friends outside them other than Danny their neighbor next door.

Being the oldest and mother figure of the group meant she worked for her and Tara's share of rent and other needs. Even though their mother sends money for bills and such, Sam wanted to work still. Though she knew what she get weren't much it didn't hurt to start saving her own money. So she worked to keep herself busy but not too much to not acknowledge that she was suffering such a mental scar from the attacks. One of those jobs was in a diner a few blocks near them. It paid okay and the staff are kind but Sam rarely bothered to get too close to them. All she ever knew from them is that they were willing to offer a smile and small conversation.

Usually, she takes the morning shifts, other times she takes the graveyard ones. You can pretty much figure out which shift she preferred over the other.

The regulars were introduced to her on her first shift by Dale, the main cook. There was a couple, John and Amy, who was always on time in the morning and order eggs and toast only with two refills of drip. Rex is a sculptor who mostly sits in the corner and has a few sketches by the table with him, only ordering an omelet with ketchup. There's also a programmer named Adrian who gets a lot of coffee and a BLT at night. Sometimes his friend Ben joins in with fries. A young woman named Adelaide who works from home and is always on the phone while she ate her waffles and vanilla milkshake. Adelaide would go by the mornings if she wakes up early or comes by near the evening when she could.

Lastly, there was Y/N. Sam has figured before that she looked around the same age as her. Cate mentioned when she was teaching her around that she's been here way before her and she pretty much knew everyone in the diner. She was mostly in the morning with a few files in her hand. She's an assistant in an independent law firm. There were times that she came by night and read some of the files she had all the while taking a sip of her joe now and then, other moments she was taking notes for a case assignment that her boss told her to take a look for him. Sam always gets a warm greeting from her as she did with everyone else when she enters the diner and interacts with her whenever deemed necessary. She thought she was too nice to be true.

"You from New York?" Y/N asks her as Sam fills her mug and couldn't help but doubt for a second if she were going to be honest or not,

Y/N always had a keen eye. She liked watching everyone else and let the world work. That meant she liked observing the customers that enter the diner every now and then, noticing how John always drink his coffee slowly to match Amy's pace and always offers an extra toast to her. How Adelaide sometimes start scribbling on her tissues while she talked to her boyfriend who she assumed lived away from New York. The fidgeting Cate does when she's serving Rex and giggles a little when she talks to him. Y/N could see how tired Sam was even when she had just started her shift a few moments ago. The neatness of her diner clothes, layers of makeup, and fake smile couldn't mask the exhaustion the woman has felt for who knows how long. She didn't want to pry about anyone's story so she tries to offer what she only can to someone who deems her a stranger, kindness. It doesn't hurt to treat anyone fairly.

"No, not from around here. I'm just trying to start over." She answers half-heartedly, trying not to give away any information about her at all. Sam sees a gentle smile from her and she couldn't help but feel the burning sensation on her cheeks.

"I wish you well for that. Everyone deserves a restart." And with that, Y/N thanked her for refilling her.

Those were one of many encounters Sam had with her. There were times Y/N would order 2 cups of coffee for her to share with anyone on the staff and reluctantly Sam accepted her third request at the random times she offered. She was beyond suspicious. Her doubt was understandable given the fact that she went through a lot that broke her sense of trust in anyone. But her cautiousness was only met with a tender conversation. Y/N would always ask how she is and the first and ever personal information she has ever given to anyone outside her family was her. Sam vaguely talked about how Tara has been slowly losing interest in seeking help and acting like nothing happened. Of course, there are a few changes here and there to make it seem like a normal rant about her younger sister and Y/N listened intently to her.

Or maybe it was because she was too distracted by the beauty of the older Carpenter sister.

Those seeming doe eyes that hid too many secrets.

Another night shift has come and to Sam's discomfort, she had to be at work. She just came from therapy and her second doctor had just given up on her, making her night already more dreadful than it was. And just to top things off the students who have been visiting the diner lately have been making it their job to worsen her night by being obnoxious and gossiping over her. They weren't even trying to keep it down as if they were back in high school and Sam had just stolen the famous girl's ex-boyfriend. Tara had told her the rumors about her and Woodsboro before and she couldn't care less about what a stranger, who wasn't even there, would think. It was the breaking point when one of them spilled their milkshake on her "accidentally". The smug smile the girl wore before she did it was almost too easy to miss but little did they know that Y/N had been watching them silently the entire time. The woman's had enough of their disturbance. She had been gripping on her pen hard to almost split it in half.

"I'm so sorry, miss." The girl in white apologized with a snide tone. Her friends giggle at her antics on the now pink-stained light blue blouse Sam wore. It just happened to be a strawberry milkshake too. Just last week a girl threw her orange juice at her when she was on her way home with dinner. At this point she thought she's collecting all the fruit flavored drinks.

"D-Don't worry, I'll get it cleaned up." Sam begrudgingly states while avoiding her eyes before she went to turn around but stopped when she saw how she almost bumped into someone,

Familiar Chelsea boots stood before her.

"I beg to differ." They hear the person say before the woman realizes who it was.

"And who are you supposed to be? Her friend?" One of them asks cockily to which Y/N smiles at their confidence. She had her sleeves rolled up already, coat resting back in her booth and Dale was waiting for her cue to tag along after she signaled him from her table earlier.

"Didn't your parents ever teach you some manners on gossiping about people you don't know? Let alone the one serving you your meals and minding her damn business?" She had slowly paced past the unmoving Sam Carpenter that watched closely. Both hands rested on the side of their table and her anger was prevalent from the way she carried herself in the scene. 

"She's a lying snake and a murdering bitch!" The other one barked from her seat.

"Let me guess, you got that from Reddit? What else are you going to believe next, that Beyonce's part of the Illuminati?" Y/N mocked her statement and that's when Sam realized that she knew about the rumors surrounding her, that she knew some bit of her past.

The girls had been quiet after she pointed out their bullshit. Sam had always seen her be courteous and approachable when she stops by, her smiles almost making her eyes crinkle when waving at them, and treated everyone with reason, but tonight was different. This was a woman who has lost her patience after holding it for so long,

"I'm going to ask you to leave. People like you don't deserve to be served when you treat the servers here like they're nothing." Y/N ordered with her eyes unblinking with focus.

When no one moved, Y/N let Dale handle the rest by approaching the table and the girls scurried fast before they were going to be thrown out by the man who stood almost six feet tall. Sam heard a few yells at the girls to leave the diner when they exited the place and her gaze follows back Y/N who had changed her demeanor. The cook pats her back for her handling the situation and thanks her before he gives Sam a pat as well and comes back to his previous spot. It was then that the woman offered her the unsparing eyes that always looked at her and asks,

"Are you okay?" Sam thought it sounded so sweet, all she could respond was a faint nod. She didn't even comprehend how a bit close she was already to her until a hint of soft vanilla could be smelled from her. Not the kind where it almost smelled artificial like those vape juices, but it was almost authentic. The woman before her then fishes out something out of her back pocket and extended her handkerchief.

"Here. You got an extra blouse, dear?" Another question follows after Sam takes it and started wiping away some of the liquid.

"No, mines in my apartment, and it's a few blocks away," Y/N hears her voice again after it was silenced earlier, "Hey Dale, Peter doesn't mind his servers being out of uniform for a situation like this, right?" She shouts at the cook who was just about to send a plate to Dolly, Sam's partner for the shift tonight.

"Nah, let me handle him when he asks next time. I gotchu Sam." Dale nods their way.

Y/N then started unbuttoning her shirt and it revealed a white tank top underneath her white button-up shirt. Sam knew should be looking away but couldn't even help herself. Her attention was so close on her slightly toned arms until she snapped out of her daze as the woman handed her top, "Here, you can borrow this for now."

Dolly went to grab a mop and started cleaning the rest of the drink on the floor, "I'll take it from here, Sam." She reassures her and Sam was beyond grateful of the people supporting her.

"A-Are you sure?" Sam looks back at Y/N who hasn't fazed.

"Yeah don't worry about it, Sam." She beams.

The Carpenter girl then watched her walk back to her booth like nothing transpired and quietly apologized to the remaining customers she'd passed by before sitting down. But if Y/N was being honest, she was still trying to calm down from the adrenaline. She was well aware that violence was never the option, yet the possibility for things to go south was out there. She never wants to ever resort to that. Sam then finally moved from the spot she was seemingly glued onto since the confrontation and went to change in the staff room. While she was away, Y/N ordered a martini and piña colada instead of finishing her coffee. Caffeine wouldn't help flush away the rush that still lingered. In between changing her top, Sam couldn't help but wonder why someone like Y/N would stand up for her when she barely knew her.

But that thought was pushed aside when she started slipping into the button-up shirt that was handed to her by the very woman she was curious about and a whiff of her scent made its way to her nostrils again. Sam paused for a second to process how addicting Y/N's scent was. Even her damn perfume was almost sweet. After pushing her thoughts away and finishing closing the shirt, she tossed her ruined blouse in her bag and went back out to continue her shift but only to be stopped,

"Hey, I kinda asked Dale to give you a break so... care to sit with me?" Y/N wondered before the drinks she ordered arrived with Dolly winking at her. The woman shyly smiles back at her before she left them alone and dealt with another customer.

"Yeah, I'd… actually like that." Sam settled on the other side of the booth as she slide the glass of martini to her, "Oh, I'm not allowed to drink while on—"

"Take it easy, Sam. You've been through a lot just now so take it. It's on me." She waves off before taking a big sip of her piña colada.

The woman reluctantly takes a decent amount from her glass while Y/N fixes her files that had been slightly scattered on her side of the table. It was the right moment for Sam to finally pop the question,

"You knew?" It came off pretty fast, making Y/N tilt her head.

"About Woodsboro, I mean. I'm sorry that came off harder than intended." Sam clarified her question and apologized for being forward to which Y/N didn't mind.

"That's alright. I've only read two news articles about it but other than that, it's all I know."

"You don't have to tell me about it, Sam. You said you wanted to start fresh, and you don't owe anyone an explanation." Y/N assured her and the Carpenter girl countered, "No, I feel like I can trust you about… all of this." Sam replies before taking a deep breath.

From being the daughter of the original killers in the Woodsboro murders to her seeing visions of her dad in the mirror and being a victim of the ghost face attacks, she spared no details throughout her story, her therapy sessions going almost nowhere because she'd scare them off and Y/N never stopped her flow and listened intently to everything she said. Not even a single sound came out of her mouth as Sam spoke. The only thing she ever offered were observant eyes that watched every move, like how the crease on her forehead slowly increased as she went on or the hint of distaste in her voice when she mentioned her deceased ex-boyfriend. She barely bats an eye when she even admitted that she enjoyed killing him and Amber. Not a single change of muscle movement on her face other than taking a few sips from her drink and blinking now and then.

When Sam finished telling her whole story, she had been anticipating the request for her to leave and never come back, just like the one her psychiatrist said when she told him the truth that afternoon. She had grown to expect that from anyone now. Yet all she heard was an exhale from the woman she shared the table with,

"That's... a lot to take in." She hears her note as she rub her chin,

"I'm sorry you had to go through all that, Sam. You didn't deserve it." Y/N continues with empathetic eyes.

"You don't… feel like the need to push me away?" Sam asks, and for once she feared someone's answer more than anyone else. Almost too afraid that she'd scare Y/N away.

"No, not really." She told nonchalantly.

Sam stared blankly at her as she moved to cross her arms and looked down from her seat. She couldn't tell if she was about to take back her statement or maybe ask her more about the attacks. Yet Y/N was able to catch Sam off guard as she went to finish her martini,

"Not going to lie, those two deserved to die for what they did— I mean… committing murders because your movie franchise sucked? That seems childish, especially for an adult man." Y/N comments on her thoughts, not realizing it made her choke on her drink.

"Oh my god, Sam— are you okay?" She tries to offer her a glass of water though the Carpenter girl waves it off.

"No, no, it's just— you're right their motive seemed childish." A laugh follows, and it makes Y/N smile that she witnesses her being unguarded. She almost felt too lucky that Sam let herself be this vulnerable to her now.

"Thank you, for not turning me away and for always listening," Sam says after calming down.

And Sam meant it. It was nice to be heard and not hated for the first time. She felt safe knowing that she could trust a new person for once. She still has a long way from being able to trust again, but small process is still process.

"You're welcome. You deserve it." The woman says as she leans forward on the table and rested both elbows close to the edge, "If you need someone to talk about... this, I'm always open. No matter what it may be, I won't turn you away." Y/N continues with her signature smile this time.

After that, Sam went on with her shift while Y/N picked back up the papers she had scanned before the confrontation. It's a good thing she noted down her thoughts to remember where she left off and continued looking through some of the witness reports she had brought with her for their recent case. Sam would sometimes steal a few glances from her and offer a small smile whenever she gets caught. That was the moment she started growing more fond of their diner's regular. Each visit felt more special than the last and each offer of coffee breaks has made both of them closer. Whenever Sam wasn't on duty, Y/N would feel a little bored but Sam was able to text her and ask about her day. When there was someone who wanted to talk shit about her, Y/N wouldn't hesitate to spit back at them or push the person when someone throws their drink at her. The Carpenter girl appreciated the gestures and sometimes feels too bad that she gets to be splashed at, but the woman didn't mind. Tara got to meet her one day when she visited Sam to work and hanged out a little just to kill time. She was very skeptical of Y/N at first, but the way her sister eased up around her gave her the impression that she was trustworthy. Sam's trust is hard to earn after all.

The night was about to come, and Sam had just finished her shift when she happen to encounter the person that has been making her days ten times better than she ever expected. Y/N always wore a pantsuit to work, switching from 4 pairs. Today she was wearing the brown one that had a waistcoat and she was killing the style. Sam never gets tired of her presence or the way she always presents herself. She just looked ravishing in a pantsuit. Y/N had her coat neatly folded on her right arm that held folders while her messenger bag rested on her right shoulder. The smile that was so familiar to her greeted Sam Carpenter warmly that she couldn't help but blush,

"Good evening, Miss Carpenter. I'll be your chauffeur for tonight." Y/N announces with an accent. The attempt makes Sam laugh, "If that's your take on a British accent, you need to work more on it." She teased softly, shaking her head.

"C'mon, I'll walk you home." Sam hears her offer and gestured her occupied arm for her to take, which she happily does so.

"How chivalrous of you, Miss Y/L/N. Keep this up, and I might start falling for you." Half of it was a joke, but she was indeed falling for her, harder than Sam even realizes. If only she knew that Y/N had already fallen for her a while now.

She kept herself composed after Sam's teasing. Both of them chatted casually as they walk through the streets of New York. Y/N talked about her day at the office and how their copier was jamming down. It was annoying her and she had to kick it a few times before it worked again. Sam, on the other hand, shared about how a costumer had a screaming match with a date while eating and almost broke things in the diner. Dale was almost livid when the woman raised her plate and was about to throw it at the poor guy. Moments like these were nice for Sam. The life that was just mundane for once and not surrounded by the craziness of her past that still lingers. No screaming stranger threatening her, another flavored drink being thrown her way or a masked psycho trying to kill her, but a quiet night. Laughs were shared, jokes were thrown at each other, and flirts slipped here and there to make it seem like it was nothing. Even if the world around them was a little overwhelming, they were stuck in their own bubble cherishing each other's presence. Y/N was content and she had gathered enough courage until they reached Sam's apartment building. She collected her thoughts and watched her let go of her arm,

"This is me," Sam gestures to the building door, "Thank you for the walk, Y/N. It was... nice." She follows up with a light blush present on her cheeks. She hoped Y/N didn't notice them.

"Yeah, it was." Y/N smiles at her and scratched to back of her head.

"Look, I've been thinking, do you want to grab dinner sometime? You know— like a date. If you don't mind." The woman begins to avoid her brown eyes. Y/N was way too damn shy, and it made the brown girl giggle.

Sam then approaches her and almost closes the gap between them, leaving a peck on her cheek that it made Y/N jump. She turned so red it was almost like she was cherry. It was a first to witness her like this and it made Sam giggle even more as she didn't move away from her spot,

"I don't mind at all. I'm free by 6 pm tomorrow. No need to be fancy or grand, anything cheap would be fine by me." The Carpenter girl move close to her ear to whisper it to her.

Y/N then finally pulls herself together and gathers back the natural courage she had, trying to match Sam's, "6 pm, tomorrow it is then. I'll pick you up here, Carpenter."

She was the one to pull away and she puts back her signature smile before bidding her farewells to her.

"Good night, Sam. Sweet dreams." Y/N smoothly delivers and starts walking back to where they came from earlier.

Sam then watches her walk away and bites her lip. The view was indeed nice to watch. She then covers her face with both hands before giddily smiling at the ground, thinking about what had just happened. Sam thought it felt like high school all over again. That rush in her veins was quite familiar to her. It's been a while since she had it. All she has to do now is prepare for tomorrow and be sure it's perfect. Y/N, on the other hand, skipped through the streets like a little kid as she smiled widely. Few strangers looked at her funny, but everyone else focused to their own world. The papers she thought she'd be working on tonight would probably be forgotten now that the only thing on her mind is their date tomorrow.

Both women looked forward to it.

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thank you for reading! fell free to leave a request :>

[keiry]

hiii, i was wondering if you’d do requests? if u can id like to request a baji x reader, it could be abt anything, maybe fluff with some light angst here and there? tyyy 🤍🤍

YES I DO IM SOOOO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I WAS TRYING TO MAKE IT PERFECT FOR MY FIRST REQUEST

“Keisuke!”

You cried as you walked to his bedside inside the hospital after the gruesome incident of the Bloody Halloween.

“Are you okay?! You know that I don’t like it when you get in those stupid gang fights, and you promised me that nothing would happen and now look you! You’re in the hospital!”

Keisuke sighed gruffly, rubbing his temple as he replied.

“I don’t need you scolding me, I’m not a damn kid.”

Your brows furrowed together, not liking how careless Keisuke sounded about the whole situation after almost losing his own life.

“I’m not saying you are a little kid! I’m just worried about the fact that you almost died! Aren’t you even worried in the slightest?!

You yelled, feeling a lump in your throat out of relief that he was still alive, but also fear after seeing him in the hospital like this.

Keisuke gritted his teeth a bit, retorting with a scowl on his face.

“I don’t need you worrying about me when I can worry about myself.”

You weren’t having it at all. How could he just be so careless about what happened to him?

“You’re incredibly stupid, you know that, Keisuke?!

Keisuke’s face scrunched in slight irritation.

“Oi, don’t call me stupid!”

Keisuke turned away from you, clearly frustrated with how pushy you were being.

“Why do you even care so much, you know that I can handle myself, I don’t need your worry.”

You felt a pang of guilt seeping in your chest, knowing that your words were a bit harsh, even though it was a valid reason to be so worried about.

“I know you can handle yourself but you almost died, Keisuke! Don’t you understand how worried sick I was when I heard what had happened..?!”

“You’re acting as if I’m some sort of fragile flower-“

Keisuke hissed as his fists clenched together, his irritation growing with every word you said.

“I know you’re not a fragile flower or something, but that doesn’t mean I can’t worry about you!”

Your words gradually grew softer, your voice wavering slightly as you swallowed thickly.

“You-.. you nearly died, and I was so scared for you.. I don’t care if you can handle yourself, you’re my boyfriend, and I love you.. And when you love someone, of course you’re going to worry about them.. It’s that simple, Keisuke..”

Keisuke remained silent, his irritation still evident yet slowly depleting. You knew that you had struck a nerve, but you also knew that he needed to understand the true severity of the situation.

“Keisuke..”

You began, your voice gentle yet firm.

“Please look at me..”

He reluctantly turned to face you, his eyes slowly fixating on yours. His gaze softened subconsciously once he saw the genuine worry and concern etched on your delicate face. Keisuke felt his heart clench faintly in guilt after he saw your eyes begin to become glossy. ‘Cause how could he ever be truly mad at you..?

“I know you can handle yourself..”

You continued.

“You’re stronger than anyone I know, but that doesn’t mean you’re invincible, y’know.”

As you continued speaking, Keisuke's irritation gradually subsided, slowly being replaced by an expression of reluctant understanding. He knew that you were speaking from a place of concern and love and that your words, although harsh, were tinged with truth.

“I know, I know..”

He muttered, his voice softening as he looked down at his lap for a bit, gazing at his bruised and calloused knuckles, and the gauze bandages that were wrapped around his abdomen.

“I just don't like being seen as weak..”

“You’re not weak..”

You assured, taking a step closer to him as you gingerly took his hands into yours, your thumb softly grazing against his palms.

“You're strong.. Stronger than any other person I know, but you don't have to act like a tough guy all the time..”

Keisuke glanced back up at you for a moment, silently acknowledging your words. When your worried eyes met his, his expression began soften further, the tension between his brows relaxing.

“I know, I know..”

He repeated, his voice quiet.

“I just hate being seen as weak.. I feel like I need to prove myself all the time.”

You gently scoot a bit closer to him on his hospital bed, closing the distance between you. You slowly reached out, gently brushing a stray strand of his hair away from his face. You couldn’t handle the thought of ever losing him.

“You don't have to prove anything to me, Keisuke..”

You replied firmly.

Keisuke lightly bit the insides of his cheeks as he silently stared at you for a moment, suddenly pulling you into his arms, not saying a word. You felt your breath hitch slightly from the suddenness, yet your body subconsciously relaxed as your arms gently wrapped around him, careful to not accidentally hurt his battered body. Keisuke let out a sigh as he inhaled your scent again, his arms subconsciously squeezing you against him.

“I love you.”

Keisuke murmured quietly, his voice carrying a hint of vulnerability and softness, it was unlike him, but you couldn’t help the faint smile that tugged at your lips.

“..I love you too.”

I HOPE YOU LIKE IT

[starrieisdelusional]

why kairi might be the one who manipulated sora's memory

yes you read that right, and no i did not mis-type this (if you're thinking hey that should be namine!)

i was going back a few times to kh3 and i found many patterns and cutscenes in 3 that can be compared to previous installments of the game, even side by side, this one particularly caught my eye:

crazy am i right

so remember that scene in 3 where sora falsely exclaimed "the light in the darkness" to be kairi? (it's actually riku) where sora and kairi goes enters the light to made it back to the real world

previous clip in link because tumblr isn't working with me ("riku, answer me!!" comparison with "okay! i have to protect them (aitsu)! Namine can you hear me?")

as you've seen in the comparison i realized it probably a direct paralell to namine's fake meteor shower scene back in COM Sora's side. And these lines of dialogue in particular interest me

it got me thinking, and i think that kairi purposely did something to sora's memory at some point in their lives. The exact when i'm not too sure, but she had inserted herself into some of riku's part in sora's life as sora's taisetsu na hito (special someone)

i know this sounds crazy, but i think there's a valid reason to this theory

Why??

the motive is clear: that kairi is lonely. i personally relate to her character struggle, loneliness can be suffocating, just like how namine portrayed hers that resulted to the events in COM

kairi's main theme has always been about 'seperation' and being left behind by sora and riku. so it would make sense for her to crave attention

kairi might feel sad that sora and riku doesn't pay attention to her unlike how they pay attention to each-other, so i don't see it as off character for her to insert herself into a fake picture if she had the chance, especially as the love interest of her crush

she even said this back in KH1 which sora responded with "Huh!? What's gotten into you?"

or is it done out of malicious intentions? there might be a possibility for that, but i don't think it is as it goes against kingdom hearts thematic story that stays consistent over the years, that portrays every character struggle in a sympathetic way that honestly you can relate too

(xehanort is even a subject to this in dark road)

i think that kairi felt really guilty about it and didn't realized the impact that she had done to sora and riku's relationship. or maybe she thrived for it, because even if the affection is not real, kairi is still loved and remembered by someone as their precious person, and it feels nice especially with someone like sora

snippet from kh3 novel

in the novels, there's a strong hint that kairi cut her hair because riku cut his, which contributes a lot to the theory of kairi wanting to be sora's precious person (riku) where she somewhat mimics his behavior (she probably realized deep down sora cares more about riku than her)

Passing Memories

i think this also made sense lore wise, because why else would sora suddenly lost his memory of riku? and i don't think sora's sort-of infatuation with kairi is caused by comphet alone

forgotten promises is a recurring theme in sora and riku's relationship, everything up to this point has always leads to hidden thoughts and burried memories, you have to dig deeper if you want to find a connection between sora and riku, the examples currently are:

whatever is happening between soriku

passing memories jp name of oblivion keyblade that is owned by roxas

riku is the TRUE light

necklace theory: the fact that THE necklace is everywhere in the game but is never brought up like ever

aitsu (check full discussion on the internet)

COM the game (just everything related to COM, the only game with riku and sora beside DDD? it's sus if you ask me)

compared to sora and kairi who's relationship always seems shallow and on the surface. i think it made more sense with the 'why' factor answered, because every time sora is thinking of riku, kairi would replace herself in his position, just like the light-tunnel scene in kh3

the 'oathkeeper' (promise charm) and 'oblivion' (passing memories) also reflected sora keeping his promise to kairi, but forgetting about his to riku, riku might not be affected in the same way that sora does, so this happens:

+ the multiple and many instances, riku is straight up covered by kairi

some of those instances:

kairi is true darkness (ex: sea is metaphor for darkness)

xion (is said to be kairi but proven also to also be riku)

the final world

Power?

honestly, i think kairi is more than she lets on (like LUXU), let's talk about her nobody:

i think it's already suspicious that namine has the power to mess with sora's memories (because she's from kairi's body and sora's heart?) when existing nobodies like roxas and xion for example has powers directly tied to their somebodies (kingdom key), xehanort doing xehanort things, marluxia possessing the same rose petals as his somebody counterpart, (and a lot more...)

so, with a game like kingdom hearts, does namine's powers really came out of no where? we know that sora doesn't have the ability to manipulate people's memories, so who else could it be?? kairi's powers might even be more powerful

this would also aligns with the theory 'riku is light-kairi is darkness' because even at front value the game is telling you 'hey kairi is LIGHT and riku is DARKNESS' time and time again its always the reverse in certain situations, but you never got to wonder what it actually mean

yes riku is the light, but why is kairi the darkness?? yes she sort-of brings demise as xehanort's pawn, but is it really just that?

lastly, kairi is a princess of heart, and might even came from the lost masters era as it is decorated and spammed with stars (every symbol is replaced by stars i'm not joking)

it's very on-theme with the 'traitor' plot point that has been consistent in every khux game, so... (i have a theory that kairi is master ava, or master ava is her grandma, OR kairi is mom... or skuld)

in addition to all of this, i also think that kairi can also be a creature, maybe she's actually a chirithy:

however i do think as opposed to riku as a dreameater (spirit), kairi is a nightmare chirithy, as seen in their color pallet (might be a coincidence but who knows)

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

[torialefay]

Be it by astrology, your own opinion, or a mixture of both, how do you think Chris would react if his s/o has his brand or a dupe of his brand of jealousy?

This has been on my mind for days like would he enjoy knowing that his s/o craves his attention (bc i doubt he wouldn't pick up on how they feel) or would he find it lowkey annoying and/or frustrating thinking that they don't trust him(they probably do, but the brain do be insecure like that sometimes)? Would he purposely try to make them jealous from time to time bc he liked their reaction? Would he be self-aware of his closeness to others and avoid situations that could worry his s/o? Obviously, there's a limit to the intensity and frequency of how jealous someone can be before anybody would get annoyed, but yknow generally speaking in relatively somewhat reasonable jealousy ensuing situations where he got a bit too close with someone, or he or the other person got a bit too touchy, etc.

Thank ya💖💖

I love this question!!! Before I answer, I want to link some astro-based posts I’ve made on Chan’s jealous tendencies, how he can respond in fights, as well as his overall manifestation of his love (this one is just smut lol read at your own risk, 18+). I think these are some pieces that preface why I have the opinions that I do on this hehe <3

• just point blank, Chris loves knowing that you are jealous over him. It feeds into his scorp venus energy for sure, but tbh it also goes along well with his libra moon and his deep NEED for validation. He absolutely LOVES feeling like he is the most important thing in your life. He will definitely pretend that “it’s okay baby, calm down. There’s no need to be jealous,” but he secretly EATS THAT SHIT UPPPP. He craves it. It makes him feel like he’s finally found someone that will obsess over him the same way he could possess you.

• He definitely has a sort of power kink as well. I want to say it isn’t CRAZY, but I do think he has these almost manipulative tendencies without even realizing it? I think he would definitely do subtle things SOMETIMES (not often) to maybe get a little reaction out of you. He likes seeing you jealous over him & he likes knowing the power he holds over you… to be able to get you more & more crazy over him. Strokes his ego a little bit lol.

• But also in a way, this has a lot to do with the fact that he so badly craves passion in a relationship. And he knows that if he envokes that emotional response out of you, it keeps that burning for him alive. He wants to feel so fucking connected to you that he could read you like a book. And to be honesttttt, he’d probably actually prefer it if you didn’t outright tell him you were jealous, but rather that you tried to hide it and he “picked up on it.” He loves feeling like he can read his partner better than even they can. He likes knowing that even as you are trying to suppress it, he just “knows you too well” and “has that effect on you.” Like if you are silently burning up about something, but don’t say it, he can come over later and tease you about it, but also putting your thoughts to rest.

• BUTTTT one final point! Everything that i’ve said up until this point i think is true IN MODERATION. Overall, he likes someone who is confident and independent. He knows that he’s a flirt (even though he lies about it), and he needs someone who can handle it. So he likes someone that is usuallllly not always jealous, but CAN get like that from time to time. We can’t forget that he has a Sagittarius mars, which does give him a need for independence. If he’s with someone who is constantly jealous or insecure over what he does (and gets super down about it), he would probably get annoyed and burnt out by it. He doesn’t like feeling like he necessarily HAS to coddle people… what he does like is thinking that someone is so “strong” on their own that he WANTS to give into them and care for them. But if he feels like he’s being boxed in by someone who is always worried about him going out and cheating, i think he could get a bit flighty.

[summersreality]

okay, do you have any tips on handling doubts when manifesting somebody? for background, there's this biker guy I knew last year who had a crush on me. I'm a queer dude in a small town so finding guys who like me is near impossible - we BOTH knew we liked each other, however, we didn't say anything out of fear. he's not in my school anymore but he lives near me, and I sometimes see him while outside. we don't really say anything to each other, just stare REALLY intensely 😭 I wanna manifest that he, I don't know, becomes my partner in my future, but my brain keeps telling me by doing that I'm taking away his free will?? idk girl I'm scared 🥴 do you have any tips on how to handle that?? (also sorry if I gave you my entire life story I overshare a lot 😭)

DOUBTS. DO. NOT. MATTER.

CIRCUMSTANCES. DO. NOT. MATTER.

I like to think that (that’s a lie I came up with it while writing this) doubts is just proof that what you want is real (in the context of LOA, doubts are valid on other cases). Maybe that’s far fetched but like, if it wouldn’t be real then you’d know it. But you know it’s real since you know about the Law and that your 4D is the true reality.

And outer circumstances just exist in the 3D 🤷‍♀️ just because our human brains can’t find a “logic” reason to why something would happen, doesn’t mean our 3D and 4D gives a fuck. The 4D will still conform to the 3D. 😋

[bleue-flora]

as much as I like the dsmp story and its message about how there’s a deep down, I can’t help but think about the Bojack horsemen quote about how there’s no deep down and you are the actions you do regardless of someone’s intent or backstory

[context]

I believe you are referring to this quote “That’s the thing. I don’t think I believe in deep down. I kind of think all you are is just the things that you do.” (Which btw yall its real annoying when I have to find whatever the hell you are talking about, no shade just as an aside…<3)

The thing is, both things can be true. Life is about choices, and your every action and inaction has a consequence, (which I think I’ve talked about before but I don’t feel like finding it at the moment). In other words, everything you do impacts the world around you and has lasting effects. You may not know it and are likely very unaware of the consequences (positive and negative). This is because like my post said we are all inherently selfish because we live and see the world from only one view - our own. So yes, you are the actions/“things you do” and choices you make, regardless of the intentions.

At the end of the day, whether you meant to or not, whether you had good intentions or not, if you hurt someone the facts remain the same - you hurt someone. They have a fundemental right to feel hurt and that is always valid, emotions and feelings are always valid, whether it’s logical or makes sense or not. The reason deep down doesn’t change the outcome or the hurt you caused. However, that is about the past action. If you want to learn and grow and form meaningful relationships, avoid conflict… etc. That’s where the deep down comes in. Then it’s important to look at the reasons, not as excuses or justifications but as explanations - a bridge to understanding and shattering our stereotypes, assumptions and judgement.

(Okay, my foot still hurts from you stepping on it, but yeah if it was just an accident then the relationship doesn’t have to just all end over something stupid like it would if I assumed it was intentional.) Yes the impact you make on the world is the sum of what you do and that impact is true regardless if there is a deeper reason behind it. But also, if you only focus on what people do and go no deeper, then you are missing the bigger picture and your relationships will not last long and you are going to live a very lonely and conflictfilled life.

That is why it is important. Not because in the finale of the dsmp Dream’s reveal changes any of his actions, but because it changes our perspective of him and that changes how we act next. Whether we show compassion and empathy or understanding or forgiveness of someone’s actions or run the hell away. (Whether a conflict breaks out over you stomping on my foot so I step on yours back.)

As an engineer, a nerdy metaphor I could use is that it’s kinda like if situations were an equation then the effect and action is the answer (the one side of the =), but sometimes we need to used the other side of the = to solve for x, so we can solve the next equations.

The deep down matters because it should change your action. It matters because in recent years after excusing my behavior because of something or the other, I realized ya know other people might also have a valid reason too. So while my automatic assumption of why they are late to class is that they are lazy, or rude, or don’t care, maybe maybe they actually woke up nauseous and were throwing up which prevented them from being on time, maybe they fainted coming out of the shower, maybe their car wouldn’t start, maybe they had a doctor’s appointment beforehand, maybe there was a car accident making them late, maybe there was a train blocking the road…etc. there are so many reasons, but our mind just jumps to the worst, and we expect grace from others when we are late but wouldn’t give others the same benefit of the doubt. If we had, if instead of judgment and criticism, we checked on them after class to see if they are okay then maybe we learn of their struggle, and maybe they need our help, or maybe we relate and become friends, maybe you share your notes with them, maybe you give them a hug. The deeper meaning changes what you do and like the quote says, what you do is the impact on the world…

[shewhotellsstories]

People say Eloise is a self centered white feminist who enjoys the privileges that come with being a Bridgerton and although that's true, she is also a sheltered teenage girl who needs to learn about the world.

Her feelings of marriage are valid and while she needs to learn that desiring motherhood and marriage doesn't make a woman lesser, it's part of growing up and learning true feminism. She's a baby feminist but viewers don't want her to grow. How many teenage girls in today's day and age are all-knowing about feminism theory? Her friendship with Theo taught her about the working class and that connection to the outside world could have been a great learning experience for Eloise. Yes she has the privilege of being a Bridgerton but that safety net is exactly why she should be allowed to advocate for things the way she wanted Whistledown to(not a critique of the character but rather the writing and the fandom)

Penelope did some selfish things as Whistledown, abusing her power (cause it wasn't just about being gossip girl for the bag) and rather than acknowledge that we're expected to sweep it under the rug. I LOVE flawed characters because the writing acknowledges their wrong doings and yet certain characters get away with murder.

Eg s1 Blair was awful to Serena and while she had her reasons for doing so, revenge and her own self worth and abandonment issues, the show acknowledged this and we wanted good things for Blair. Serena slept with her best friend's boyfriend and covered up a mans overdose but we still root for her because she is a good person and is trying to grow.

If Penelope doesn't acknowledge her wrongdoings how can she grow as a character.

"Okay publishing a burn book is wrong but I love writing and I'm good at it, maybe I should become Jane Austin or something."

(throwing in how Edwina was raked over the coals for being angry with Kate and while the half sister comment was uncalled for, she wasnt given the same grace Penelope has been given)

I'm sorry for how long and all over the place this is.

No, I get it. The issue is that some characters are given grace while others are crucified. Some characters have their circumstances considered when examining their behavior while others don't. I hate it that some characters get novellas dedicated to defending their bad behavior while others should've just known better.

And that's totally the way I see Eloise Bridgerton. She's a baby feminist! She is in her just watched Ironed Jawed Angels and has maybe read a few zines era of feminism. When I was 17, I remember saying in class that I didn't think it was possible to be a SAHM and be happy and now my opinions have radically shifted because I'm not a kid anymore. Now, if you'd ask me I'd say it's a vulnerable position to be in economically because your security is tied up in your marriage working out and or your husband never dying, but it's your choice ultimately. What a difference a fully developed brain and college professors who require you to read bell hooks and Audre Lorde can make.

But seriously, the sad irony of Eloise being raked over the coals for "doing nothing" is that she was trying to become more informed and it blew up in her face. Spending time with Theo and other members of the working class was really good for her. Sadly, Penelope should've known better than most that she was genuinely trying to expand her worldview, but Eloise is the only person getting the bad friend allegations.

And yeah, as much as I love Kate and Anthony, people were way too hard on Edwina in season two. No one wanted to hurt her, but who in her position would toss confetti?

Plus, I'm really glad someone else is seeing the endless Gossip Girl comparisons that can be made here!

P.S. If you're interested one of my favorite Kanthony fics ends in Anthony and Kate encouraging Eloise to become a fiction/social commentary writer.

[jjmorelikeotp]

Okay so I am watching BTVS for the first time in my life & I'm currently on season 6 E 14, and one thing I really really love is how Spike is just so...comitted.

With Angel, I personally had the feeling he was grieving the person he could be, all sad and sappy in his misery that kinda clung around him all the time (ik we're calling spike a drama queen but. THAT MAN? Depressed himbo vibes. No offense.) Even though he had a soul, there was this feeling of self pity in him - and it makes sense considering the fact he probably knew that one true moment of happiness would turn him back into a monster, and that is rly depressing tbh.

Does not change the fact that Buffy being underage when being with him is totally absurd and predatory, there, I said it.

He is kind of the big scary monster guy and sometimes she does seem like a normal 16 year old, and by that, naive or simply, young.

It made me feel like she was prey, not gonna lie.

It is what stopped him from truly comitting to Buffy. I mean yeah, their love was pure and they definetely are soulmates in some way. They truly affected each other's fate.

But this is where Spike is different than Angel as well. He is truly COMITTED to what he's doing, he is all in for buffy. Like, the way he offers to make money for her when she needs it? That offer is NOT a deal-kind-of-offer. He truly wants to help her and it is so casually because he already is in full partner mode, in whatever way she needs. Offering comfort when she has to work a double shift (yeah by fucking outside, mkay, just the spuffy way ig) like that because he is actually afraid she will lose her sanity? Even though they drive each other insane? Yeah these scenes are not talked about enough.

In that same scenario, Angel never even would have showed up. He would have waited in front of the building after Buffy ended her shift, maybe. He never even offered to be in her life like that, while both of them found a million excuses for it. But Spike does not. He just simply does stuff that COULD be the solution if he ever even thought of them being a problem.

And I think that is also why he's so pissed about Buffy going on and off about him - to Angel, she seemed so comitted, but to him, he just does not seem to be able to.

And again, it make sense, but I also think we don't talk enough about the fact that Buffy did indeed kill Angel, when it wasn't even necessary as in "he was soulless and a monster" anymore. Even though she loved him. But only when she had a really really good reason/purpose.

So one thing that might be also pushing her away from spike is the thought of having to do that again, and desperately trying to find the purpose without being able to.

He makes her choose wether she wants to be the prey or the hunter in this. On purpose. To show her her options and her power because she never really got to experience both sides / perspectives with Angel OR Riley.

So while she tries to figure out 1. Her reason why she should kill him (which should be a very very valid one so she can bring up the power to do so) 2. Her life's purpose in general, he just ... delivers purpose, not to her, but as in, her being the purpose. That's what he acts like and That's what she can't handle. Yes, she is the reason he is trying to change, but also, he puts her in the Position of being the purpose of him doing that.

Showing her the self responsibility and ability to be her own purpose and make her own decisions. (After her friends all kind of screwed up that kind of SELF responsibility.) He really does man up in this show, and like I said, these are just my thoughts watching it for the first time (did not see angel the series yet).

He is also holding her accountable even though he has a soft spot for her, and she is not used to that. She treats him like a man, yes, but he treats her like an equal as well and always has. She is used being looked down upon by adults or the council, enemies, blablablah, also her friends who "saved" her earlier this season, or being the superslayer hero and leader who has to do everything. She is always in positions. Even with angel, she was, it kind of stopped when they broke up but even then, he treats her like she does not know SHIT. Something is standing between them and always has been, and while Angel kind of used that as an excuse to keep distant and keep their walls up, Spike uses these exact walls as a reason or challenge to tear them down. Spike never acts like things are not his fault even if they are horrible, he just simply accepts his dark side while still having a normal one, with passions on tv and card games and whatever. He *subconciously* takes responsibility even before having a soul, for stuff he did, he doesn't blame his vampire side or whatever for it.

I think in subtext, Buffy always had a slight commitment to angel, as in "maybe, one day, it can still happen" while angel cut off all those hopes for himself (not his desires, maybe. But his ... solution oriented search or smth) as we can see when he visits her at her mom's funeral.

And one other reason why Buffy is so terrified of that whole Spike thing is because it makes her stop that hope for angel or resolve that feeling of being owned by (her feelings for) him.

And don't get me wrong, Spike is kinda possessive too, but as I see it he is trying to commit to a relationship where she can own herself and that is what terrifies her truly.

(That's what we see him do with drusilla from the beginning)

You understand what I mean? If you got thoughts on it let me know!

[mermaidsirennikita]

I'll be completely honest, I just kinda feel like the romance genre needs to accept that dubcon/noncon, whether or not you want to read it, was a big part of the genre's history.... and no amount of rerelease editing is going to make that go away.

You wrote a book; it was a long time ago; you followed conventions of the time; you maybe wouldn't now; but you were in fact writing into a genre that did raise you creatively on this element being a big part of it.

No issue with authors wanting to voice what they'd change, make edits with author's notes (and without the erasure of the original content). But pretending it didn't happen does nothing to help us, and it frankly makes it harder to treat the genre as one deserving of serious, potentially academic, analysis. If you're erasing the original work because it makes you uncomfortable, how can we discuss it honestly and analytically and contextually.

This is a very different matter in some ways, but—Eloisa James (an academic scholar who got her doctorate from Yale and taught at Fordham at one point, among other things) backed out of writing the forward to a special edition Georgette Heyer book because of the antisemitic content being removed. It erases an important part of the work, however we may dislike it. How can we DISCUSS the book if the book has been mangled and its history compromised?

"But it's less readable with the bad content", I mean, yeah. For a lot of readers, noncon and dubcon takes a book off the table. And that's so valid. And it's also true that no book can be for everyone. It Happened One Autumn is not for readers for whom dubcon and noncon is a hard stop. I so respect that. I frankly think it's a bit insulting to butcher a book like that in order to get readers who have hard limits to read something that like... famously did. Just let them pass on a book.

I mean, the reality is that for the AUTHOR, there are many reasons to make edits likke these, and again, I'm not necessarily against releasing a VERSION of your novel that better matches your perspective today... as long as that's very clearly not the only version around. For the publishers? It's money. It's making a book more palatable to a larger group of people.

But also... some people like reading dubcon and noncon. And that's okay. And they should have books with content that they like to read, too. And it's fine. There's a huge history of women reading that content specifically to process complex feelings about their experiences and their feelings about their places in the world, and also to simply have fun, and... yeah. That's valid, too.

I just have a lot of feelings about this practice, and it really does come back to a love of the genre and wanting everyone to have books that they enjoy reading (while acknowledging that literally zero books work for everyone and that's OKAY). And a RESPECT for the genre too, and a desire to make it something you can study, if you so please, like any other. I think there's a way to satisfy readers who want to just read for fun and people who want to read for fun and take the genre seriously. We just don't need to make every book cozy and without people who have flaws in order to do so.

[sitp-recs]

Hello!

First, I hope you're doing quite well and having a good day!

Second, I haven't been able to stop thinking about the post re: the writer who felt discouraged about not getting comments despite readers loving the works in quiet and gushing in other places (and would likely leave their fandom). More specifically, your tag about how your blog may fit in to all that.

Like you, I'm not a writer, in the sense that we don't come up with a story and put it out there, heart in our hands, hoping for someone to see it and enjoy it and maybe even to say as much to me. I won't discount OP sharing their friend's very valid feelings of seeking some validation and connection with their audience. I think that's a very human thing to want. And it's okay to be so disappointed that you stop interacting with a thing that doesn't make you feel good.

But I also don't want you to discount what you bring to fandom. Your blog is a big reason WHY I read in this fandom, and I think that's true of a lot of people, just based on the asks you get. Personally, your insight has helped me find some of the most beautiful stories and insanely talented writers and artists. For those of us old enough to remember a world without social media/smart phones (or even the internet as an easily accessible thing), one way people often found new media (and artists) is by reading reviews. And they weren't always kind. Reccers like you only share kind reviews. And they often say that one way to consistently find media you enjoy is to find a reviewer whose tastes seem to match up to yours and follow their lead when looking for new things to enjoy.

You (and all reccers) are a valuable part of the fandom ecosystem, helping introduce new fans to fandom as a whole. And your blog also often encourages being a better human in fandom. Because the reality is that newer, younger fans won't know the etiquette to being in these spaces. And that's just as important.

Thank you to all authors and artists for being brave enough to share a part of yourself through fandom. And reccers, thank you for your work on helping us find them. May we all go forth and treat each other very kindly.

Thank you so much anon, this was really special to read! To be completely honest I am just coming back after a fandom break, and I was not in the right headspace to interact with that kind of post (that’s on me!). I regretted reblogging it as soon as it was out as I did not want it to come across as “Liv’s self-pity party” because the discussion is much bigger and layered, but @eleadore’s ask triggered a very interesting discussion with great insights (strongly related to @garagepaperback’s comment about how some of us who have lurked for years might have a different understanding of fandom, and how the introduction of kudos etc by ao3 is re-shaping this culture at large 🤯)

I think it’s a nuanced discussion because of how fandom is structured and the way stats influence newcomers (both authors and readers) but I was talking with my friends last night and one key takeaway for us was what we saw in someone else’s tags: “don’t outsource your happiness”. I think it’s important to validate our craving for interaction and belonging, after all this is a social space! I love making friends with people who are just as obsessed with these two idiots as I am! But the moment this craving becomes our primary motivator, the moment we link our self-worth to external validation, we’re giving someone else the power to ruin our experience, our relationships, our passion. There’s nothing wrong with taking a step back when something that’s supposed to be fun and chill starts making us miserable instead. I wanna cultivate a healthy relationship with my hobbies so that I can still find comfort and refuge in them. That’s something that resonates with both creators and readers, I think, and something I wanna keep in mind as I move forward with the blog, in whatever shape or form it takes ❤️‍🩹

I appreciate your love letter to all reccers and the kind words about my recs. I’m so happy to hear that the blog had a lasting (and positive!) impact on your fandom experience. Thanks again for taking the time to write this message. Take care!

[lokilysolbitch]

literally the least educated ppl on DID/OSDD1/PDID i've ever seen are fake claimers

these are inspired by tiktok comments i see on other systems videos:

"too many j names,,,,,,you must be faking" so true babes they actually have "can't have too many j names" in the diagnostic criteria great work you got it

"too many alters" pls open google

"me when i make up friends bc im lonely" so what if you used your brain and considered why a disorder caused by trauma....and unstable attachment to caregivers.............could correlate to someone being lonely. :D. next you should tell someone with eczema "me when my skin is just itchy🙄"

"DID is caused by trauma so why are you posting silly videos on tiktok" so actually you can be traumatized and use tiktok. funnily enough. especially in the disorder with amnesia that can make you forget you are traumatized hope this helps but maybe you can try thinking on your own next time tho okay?

"DID is only in 1% of the global population" yes babes. so in a school of 1000, 10 people will have DID. so in the millions of fucking tiktok users guess how many will have DID please learn your fucking percentages also pretty sure that statistic is outdated and doesn't count OSDD1, PDID, and undiagnosed folks

"but you're not diagnosed" yes DID only kicks in after diagnosis good catch

"they probably made up their diagnosis" that's just a theory you made up. do you want them to post their psychiatrist saying they have DID for a tiktok to prove themselves to some randos on the internet. you're not entitled to proof of diagnosis in the first place because remember. you are a rando on the internet

"whoever diagnosed you is wrong" THANK YOU SO MUCH RANDO ON THE INTERNET FOR YOUR VALID RESEARCHED UNDIAGNOSIS VIA TIKTOK COMMENT. you've truly convinced us all

"but you're young" okay so when do you think DID starts. google that. hope that helps

"but you're too old" okay so when do you think DID stops.

"these are oc's" well yes ! so if your brain makes up people to cope. that would make them original. if those people can control your body and hold different parts of your memories and you can't control them. that would likely be alters.

"faking hurts actual systems" which part of faking hurts systems. the part where hoards of people harass someone they decided was faking? the part where hoards of people don't do any research say someone is faking for reasons they pulled out of their ass? what specifically hurts systems. when people don't fucking believe them and are assholes about it for no reason?? okay so then it's not the faking that hurts systems then. it's you! go take a nap and stop having temper tantrums in peoples comment sections. people trying to find themselves actually won't hurt you or systems nearly as much as your blatant harassment and ignorance. hope this helps xoxoxo❤️❤️❤️

istg y'all really lose it when someone with dyed hair and eyeliner is a little weird or confusing. you are no better than a boomer. pls get it together people are staring

[wryoth]

Lifesteal Kaboodle Nation, WE ARE COOKED IT IS OVERRRR

LS!Kaboodle Analysis

Okay I haven't been around that much but if there's one thing I know for certain, LS!Kab might genuinely be one of the most misunderstood character in the fandom. She is one of the most qualified to become a villain.

Kaboodle values trust so MUCH it hurts and yet she keeps trusting because she actually tries to see good in everyone. But it's also easy to lose that trust, whether for good reasons or a betrayal from her perspective. I see a lot of people breaking down her character to a simple "She's manipulative" "Oh, she's evil' SHE ISN'T! SHE REALLY ISN'T because she was a person who had at least, some good intentions that was forced to use her skills for bad because when everything crumbled, she had nothing else to cling on other than her warped view of control. She might be good at manipulating but deep inside she's just, like, slightly misunderstood. THAT CRASHOUT WAS VALID!

Everyone has done a lot of bad things, we all can't deny that. But in LS!Kab's case, she may be in the wrong sometimes, but she has always tried to stick by her morals regardless of the injustice (or whatever word idk) done in her life. She tried to be evil because she thinks she cares too much, but in the end, even she failed at that. Then she tried to accept the part of her that cares and instead she gets beaten down at her worse. LIKE?!?!

For me, LS!Kab is someone who tries to mirror other people's morality to fit in, she did it with Wemmbu, she did it with Zam and Clown. The only difference is that some part of her like, resonated with Zam's in a good way, maybe, because she does care for spawn, she cares for the people, she values trust, she cares about being banned, about the server and much more, the only difference is that it isn't as deep as Zam's reasonings, it isn't unconditional. If you betrayed her and your house is at spawn, then Spawn is just Collateral damage, you're still gonna get fucked over whether you like it or not.

In her perspective, everyone betrayed her, left her behind, stabbed her in the back, and yes, that might not be true but that's what makes it so TRAGIC. Her reputation makes people distrust her, and that hurts because her words are only thing that she can use to fight back. The only thing she has.

Unfortunately, her battle was bound to lose from the start. That for me, makes her qualified to become a villain.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

The family of it all!

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️

🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟

Yeah! Family!

36 for ⚡️:

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“Like, what if… What if she’s had the baby and not told us?”

“I think we might need to sedate you, actually,” Eddie says. 

“Hey!” Buck complains. “These are reasonable concerns!” 

“On a scale of one to ten, how traumatic was your last coma for you?” Eddie asks. “Because we might just want to put you in one until the baby is here. Best way to pass the time.”

“You’re not as funny as you think you are,” Buck complains.

“I am, first of all,” Eddie replies. “Second of all, you do need to relax, okay? I promise if something is worth worrying about, I will also start freaking out, and we can freak out together. A baby not being born before her due date is not one of those things.”

He makes a valid point. One that’s potentially too logical to ignore. 

Buck takes a deep breath. “Fine. You’re right.”

“Usually am,” Eddie replies. 

Buck raises an eyebrow. “Should we really visit the statistics on that?”

Eddie scowls at him. “Let me have this.”

If Buck thinks Eddie is dismissive of his completely normal fears - not paranoia, thank you - then Chim is downright mean. He laughs, on the due date, with how stressed Buck is. 

“Are you kidding?” Chim practically cackles. “Please tell me you haven’t forgotten how long Maddie went overdue. Like actually overdue. Over a week, Buck!”

Another valid point, but…

“Okay, but we don’t know that Lourdes won’t also-”

“And!” Chim interjects. “You’re not living with Lourdes, so you don’t know.” 

---

36 for 🧟:

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Besides, he has other things to worry about.

For one, he hasn’t had another chance to talk to Eddie properly. Eddie is spending a lot of time talking to Shannon. Which makes sense, right? They have a kid together. This whole history. They each thought the other was dead. Of course that’s who Eddie is talking to. But it has Buck worrying. Something that isn’t his right to worry about. But nevertheless… What if Eddie leaves? What if he decides to go stay with Shannon and the others? It would make the most sense, wouldn’t it? 

Honestly, if Buck were a better person, he’d just suggest it. But he’s not. So he goes to the beach to hide instead. 

He sits on the beach and he looks out at the sea, and he thinks about loneliness. He thinks about how it’s the end of the world, and twice he’d somehow found someone who made him feel excited about the future. Abby and then Eddie. Abby owed him more than Eddie does now. But… But isn't it ironic they’ll probably end up in the same place? 

Life has always been pretty transient for Buck. Nothing has ever felt permanent. Not until he met Bobby and everyone else. And maybe he just has to accept that that’s the permanent thing for him. He’s luckier than most people, if that’s true. But Buck isn’t stupid. He sees how Maddie and Chim are looking at each other. How Bobby and Athena have seem to become a unit. All within a handful of days. It hurts that he might be the only one without that, when the dust settles on whatever this period of commotion has been. 

He’s in the middle of feeling sad for himself, and feeling dumb about feeling sad for himself, when he hears someone walk down the stairs to the beach. He turns to look and is surprised to see Abby, making her way towards him. He’s not sure what she’s doing.