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outofconcheol · 2 months ago

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Tune In For Love (KSM x GN!Reader)

pairing: college radio host!Seungmin x co-host!reader

genres/au/rating: sfw, mostly fluff, the mildest of angst, idiots to lovers, pg

summary: When you and Seungmin come up with a crazy new idea for your radio show, a week of chaos and unspoken feelings unfolds. As you learn more about relationships, will the two of you tune in for love? Or decide to shut it down completely?

warnings: swearing, fake exes trope, a playlist of seungmin coded songs mentioned, stupid amounts of pining, mentions of relationship drama, they almost kiss, then they actually kiss, one mild (joking ) threat of violence, Jeongin being the best wingman ever, RAIN, Ningning, Joshua, Cheol, and Day6 all make cameos

word count: 2.8k

a/n: happy Seungmin day!! honestly this could have been a whole fic on its own but i'm happy with this cute little drabble! this draws some inspiration from the ex talk by rachel lynn solomon. our boy deserves all the love, i hope you enjoy!

“Okay everyone, this has been another week at The Sound FM, the university’s #1 radio station! ____ and Seungmin signing off!”

Your voice fades out to the tune of the hit that Seungmin had selected for the week, ears perking up at the rumble of the bass and the tick tick tick of the hi-hat. Another Day6 song. Congratulations this time.

“When will you admit that you’re Day6’s number one fan?”

“When you admit that you’re their number two,” Seungmin adjusts his glasses, a devious smirk lighting up his face.

(You were, but you would never give Seungmin the satisfaction.)

“That segment on how to deal with the stress of midterms turned out great! What should we do next?”

You fidget with your pen, tapping it against your notepad, twirling it around in your fingers, before moving to put it behind your ear–

Seungmin’s hands shoot out, fingers clasping around yours for a brief moment, and a shiver runs through you, despite the fact that it was sunny outside with not a cloud in sight.

“I had an idea, actually, well it’s not my idea, Jeongin brought it up..”

For however composed the two of you were on air, you turned into awkward rambling messes when the mics were off. It had always been like that though. You’d been hosting the show with Seungmin for the better part of a year and you still didn’t know why you felt shy around him, or why you’d barely progressed beyond simple acquaintances.

“There’s this girl that uh, he, yeah he wants to impress, so he was asking if our next segment could maybe have something to do with dating advice.”

“That is sooo much better than the segment on recycling tips I was planning,” you nudge him, oblivious to the way his ears turn red.

“Oooh but what if we make it spicy you know? Like approach relationships from a different angle?”

“What angle?” Seungmin rubs at the back of his neck. “As far as I know, neither of us are in a relationship. I mean, right?”

“Right but no one else has to know that! What if we pretend that we’re exes, who broke up? Hindsight is always 20/20, people will eat that up!”

“I thought I was supposed to be the menace here,” Seungmin’s tone is deadpan but his eyes sparkle with mischief.

“What can I say, you’re rubbing off on me Min,” you giggle. “So, what do you say we put your charm to good use?”

“You think I’m charming ___?”

You miss the excitement in his tone, writing it off as enthusiasm for the whole absurdity of this plan.

“Who knows, Min! Maybe we’ll even find people! This is so exciting!”

Seungmin pauses briefly, a choked sound escaping his mouth, but you think you imagine it, watching him straighten and nod.

Laughter fills the studio as you bicker back and forth about what to include and how the next week would go. It was a risk, but you hoped it would pay off — both on the airwaves and maybe even for your stagnant love life. The possibilities were endless.

“Hello, and welcome to Tune in For Love! We are your hosts, ___ and Seungmin, and for the next week we’ll be tackling all your relationship questions and concerns!”

Your voice booms into the mic, echoing throughout the tiny studio, and you take a moment to mute yourself, heart pounding in your ears. Butterflies had begun to bubble up in your chest – you were really doing this.

“You ready for this?” Seungmin’s voice knocks you out of your daze, and you look over to see his lips twist into a lazy smile, running his fingers through his hair.

Fuck. Why did that make your stomach flip-flop?

You give him a shaky nod. It was probably just the rush of trying something new, so different from what you were used to. The simultaneous thrill and terror of dipping your toes into uncharted waters.

Seungmin unmutes the mic, his softer, more melodious voice reverberating into the windscreen. He’d make a great singer, you think. Maybe for your next segment you could convince him to croon on air.

“We’re your resident experts on dating, whether it's still in the early stages of puppy love, the cool cruising of the honeymoon phase, or the bitter sting of love gone wrong. We have all your answers, right here, right now on The Sound FM!”

“Trust me, we’ve had experience with all of those,” you chuckle.

The story just falls off your tongue – a tumultuous end to a relationship that had never existed, one full of angst and heartbreak that even the finest writer couldn’t think of. Seungmin interrupts you spontaneously to respond to your dramatic anecdotes with dry quips of his, and you can’t believe it — you actually sound like a couple. A real couple.

“How was I supposed to know you were allergic to garlic? You let me take you to an Italian restaurant on the first date!”

“As my boyfriend, you should have asked my best friend about my allergies! That’s like standard dating protocol,” you shoot back, making sure to smile so that Seungmin knows you’re not serious.

“Noted, I’ll keep that in mind for the next relationship,” Seungmin grunts, the air becoming thick with a tension you can’t pinpoint.

Clearing your throat, your fingers hover over the buttons of the soundboard.

“How about we take some listener calls instead?”

The line crackles to life, a caller named Ningning groaning about how her girlfriend forget their anniversary and didn’t even apologize.

“It’s an honest mistake,” Seungmin mutters.

“I don’t think so,” you counter, chewing your lip. “It’s important to be considerate of special moments like anniversaries, birthdays. It means you care. I mean Seungmin probably doesn’t even remember mine–”

“October 17th,” he interrupts you, and you go rigid. How did he even know?

I asked Jeongin, he mouths, and it only leaves you more confused. Why would he need to know that? It leaves you more embarrassed that you don’t know his exact day, only that it was sometime in September.

Ningning rambles on, thanking you both for the added perspective and resolving to make things right with her girlfriend. You feel your heart warm at her determination, amazed at the effect that you and Seungmin had already managed to have on your listeners.

Seungmin closes out the show, the easygoing and carefree chords of Polaroid Love ringing into the mic, and you think to yourself, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

As the sun sets, campus comes alive, buzzing with excitement. You glance out the window, watching students filter out of the library, walking towards the commons for a cup of coffee, or hugging outside their dorms. A deep pang of longing hits your gut, not sure whether its from watching them outside or the fact that you’re cramped here in the tiny studio, band posters all over the walls, and Seungmin is playing Love You For A Long Time, Maggie Rogers’ ethereal voice filling the space between you.

“Had to ease you into our next listener call,” Seungmin grins into the mic. “This one is – ouch. It might hit home for some of us, I mean you all.”

“Hi, ___ and Seungmin? I’m Joshua, a senior. I’m calling because I have a dilemma – my best friend Seungcheol just started dating my ex, and I’m not sure how to feel. On one hand I wanna be happy for them, but on the other hand, I’m a mess. What would you do if you found out one of you was dating someone else?”

“Oh.” Seungmin breathes out, and he remains there, lips parted like he’s frozen. An awkward silence falls over the studio, and you’re sure Joshua is blinking on the other end of the line, wondering what the hell just happened.

“I’m not sure,” you shudder, thinking of the hypothetical situation. But it wasn’t so hypothetical. You and Seungmin were free to date people. There was nothing stopping you. But it still felt wrong somehow.

“I would give yourself some space, Joshua. Take time to confront your own feelings about this, and when you’re ready you can decide what to do. Let yourself heal first.”

“That’s a good answer,” Seungmin whispers, and you panic, muttering out a rushed goodbye before cutting the broadcast.

“Wow,” you sigh. “That was, I–, I guess I didn’t think of that when I suggested this.”

“Think of what?” Seungmin’s eyes glimmer with interest, and he leans in closer.

“How shit would get so deep? Like how would I actually react if that happened to me? I don’t even want to think about it.”

“Sometimes this feels almost like we’re not pretending,” Seungmin murmurs, a strained laugh escaping his throat, a mask for the change in his tone.

You’re not sure what you want to say, but it feels like you should say something. The moment hangs heavy in between you two, and you don’t remember how Seungmin got so close, brushing his thumb against your cheek.

“Seungmin, I–”

“You had a piece of hair in your face,” he responds, straightening up to stretch his arms. “It’s late, want me to grab you an americano?”

Shaking your head, you manage to muster up a weak response, telling him to go ahead without you. He nods slightly, before throwing his jacket on and slipping out the door, leaving you alone.

An unsettling dilemma dawns on you – this was supposed to be an act, but why did it feel so real?

“You know,” Jeongin’s loud chewing echoes in the dining hall, Seungmin bristling as he watches his friend stuff five french fries into his mouth at once. “I should revoke your roommate privileges for this stunt you pulled. I thought you were grumpy before, but breaking up with ____ has taken it to a whole new level.”

Seungmin scowls, cursing under his breath at Jeongin. Yanking his headphones out of his ears, the lamenting tune of These Days by Wallows cuts off abruptly.

Outside the rain patters, echoing his stormy emotions. Over the course of the past week, his mood had felt like he was on the world’s most nausea-inducing roller coaster ride. The highs were the times he got to spend with you in the studio, cracking jokes and watching your eyes shine as the two of you came up with the next devious plot for the show. The lows were the knot in his stomach every time someone would call in with a question that hit a little too hard.

After this week, he was glad the show would end, and maybe you guys could go back to the way things were before. That easy, comfortable dynamic that always existed between you two.

“Bullshit,” Jeongin sees the way his eyes zone out, like he can read Seungmin’s mind. “I know you, and I know what you’re thinking and it’s absolute bullshit. You’re in too deep, hyung.”

“I’ll fucking punch you,” Seungmin hisses. “What the hell am I supposed to do, huh? Just spill to ___ that this isn’t some game for me? That my feelings are real? Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“Hyung–”

A gasp echoes from behind him, and Seungmin turns to see you behind him. Your lip trembles, and you lock eyes with him, a tear escaping the corner before you’re turning on your heels, running out of the dining hall.

Seungmin stands there, frozen with the weight of what he’d just confessed, heart sinking to his shoes. All of a sudden, he feels a sharp jab to his arm, Jeongin’s fist colliding with it.

“What are you waiting for? Run!”

The rain pelts the back of Seungmin’s neck as he runs, indifferent to the fact that he’s probably soaked to the bone, slipping and sliding along the cobblestone. He can make out your figure storming ahead furiously, like you can’t get away fast enough, and he speeds up, panic in his voice.

“___, wait! Please stop.”

His voice turns hoarse from all the yelling, and he’s about to give up, turn back in defeat (and go sock Jeongin cry into his friend’s shoulder), when you stop under a streetlight, your figure slumping.

Seungmin is by your side in moments, not caring that he takes your hands in his, blowing on them to give you warmth.

“Y-you d-don’t even h-have an umbrella, w-what were y-you thinking?” he chatters, and he watches your lips turn up in a smile. But your eyes remain downcast.

“What about you?” you whisper, and Seungmin cocks his head, looking at you in confusion.

“I left my jacket in the dining hall with Jeongin—”

“No Seungmin, I mean what about you?” your voice croaks desperately.

Seungmin takes a deep breath. There was no use in pretending anymore.

“I think I’m in love with you and I don’t know what to do,” he chokes out.

You take his hands in yours and Seungmin feels dizzy. The cold rain no longer bothers him, warmth filling his veins from the inside out.

“You think?” you sniffle.

“I know. I know I’ve been in love with you, since the day you walked into the studio and pitched your ideas for five-star dorm meals.”

“I really like your hands,” you blurt out, and Seungmin’s eyes widen in shock. That was not the response you’d been expecting.

“They’re warm when mine are always cold, I like the way they look when they’re holding a pencil, or when you bring me a cup of coffee. I like your voice too – the way you sing along to Day6 when you think no one is listening, or your annoying little laugh–”

“It is not annoying–”

You press a finger to his lips, and Seungmin thinks he might just evaporate.

“Not now, Min. I’m trying to say something here. What I’m trying to say is that if there’s anything this whole week has taught me, it’s how much I like you. How much I want to have those crappy problems that everyone complains about with you, how much I want to celebrate birthdays with you, and anniversaries with you, and how I think I might collapse inside if I ever saw you with someone else—”

It’s Seungmin’s turn to interrupt you now, cold lips colliding with yours, the initial shock replaced with heat. Your hands burrow into his hair and he draws you closer, hands weaving around your waist. The startled, frantic sounds of your breathing did nothing to help the pounding of his heart, and he wonders if you can hear it too.

In this moment, Seungmin never wants to let go, holding you steady against him even when you part, your breath fanning in the cold air.

“I just, I, needed to be honest. No more pretending.”

“No more pretending,” he smiles against your lips, nudging his nose against yours.

The wet slap of shoes against the pavement interrupts you both, turning to see the Jeongin behind you, Seungmin’s jacket in his arms. He takes in the sight of you two wrapped around each other, a smug grin lighting up his entire face.

“Hell yeah! It worked!”

“___ and Seungmin signing off, this is Tune in For Love on The Sound FM, and we’ve loved having you this week!”

The air in the studio buzzes with a different kind of excitement – the dreamy notes of Hypnotized by The Weston Estate filling up the room.

“Before we go, we have something to share with you–” your voice wobbles, and Seungmin reaches out immediately, squeezing your hand.

“Please send your email petitions in so our show doesn’t get canceled, but we’ve been faking it this whole time. We’re not actually exes.”

You can almost hear the collective gasp across campus, the soundboard going crazy as it lights up with calls.

“We are, as of yesterday, the happiest, and newest–, couple on campus,” Seungmin beams, his pride echoing through the mic and your heart lurches at how right it feels to be his.

You hit the answer button, the lines flooding with congratulations and well-wishes to the news.

“Congrats!” Ningning’s voice echoes. “I always thought you were the cutest together.”

“You make me want to find someone of my own now,” Joshua says in the background, and the studio fills with you and Seungmin’s laughter.

When the last call goes through, Jeongin gives you both a thumbs up, shutting off the soundboard.

You turn to Seungmin, heart racing.

“I can’t believe we actually did this,” he says, half-laughing.

“Me neither,” you reply, a soft smile on his lips. “But I’m really glad we did. It feels… right, you know?”

“Thanks for being part of this with us,” he echoes through the airwaves, his voice sincere. “We’re excited to see what’s next—together. And while the show may be over, we hope you’ll still tune in for love every single week — no matter the topic.”

“Next – how to cook a five star meal worthy of any restaurant using just your dorm microwave…”

a/n pt. 2: As always, any feedback or comments are much appreciated, but I appreciate you all anyway. Lots of love, Isi 💜

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tickettride · 4 months ago

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A good dad || J.D.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔

pairing is johnny davis x wife!reader

in which your daughters want to keep the stray puppy they've found outside, and you have to convince Johnny that it's a good idea. it is, right?

word count: 2,2k

warnings: fluff, a bit of angst, allusions to sex, Johnny's such a grumpy dad, sixties relationship clichés?

A/N: : while I’ve convinced myself numerous times that writing one-shots isn't for me, Benny and Johnny have stuck in my mind and never left. why shouldn’t I fantasize about them and share these moments with you?

English isn’t my first language, but I’m having fun and that’s the most important <3

“Oh, your dad’s gonna be pissed,” you sighed, eyeing the girls as they watched you back with cute pouts.

Maybe cute, but not enough to make you fold. That puppy right there, at your feet, wouldn’t be part of the family for long. You remembered broaching the subject once, trying to convince Johnny that having a dog could only be good for the girls. Running low on arguments, his response to you was just a look with a serious ‘What the fuck would we do with that?’. You had never talked about the idea again.

“We told you he was near the trash cans,” Lynn, your eldest, nearly burst into tears at the thought of letting go of the dog. “All by himself.”

The dog nudged your bare legs, tail wagging. You took a step back, knowing it would be harder to leave him at the vet if you only stroked him once. You were too damn kind for these kinds of things, and the girls knew it damn well.

The brown fur went to nuzzle against Joan next, who scratched him with more intensity than necessary. Her smile was huge, and her little giggle of happiness nearly melted you on the spot.

You shut your eyes for a second. Focus.

“Look at his ears!” Joan squealed, comparing her small hand to his head.

“Careful, baby,” you warned her, willing yourself to have some sort of authority back. “Don’t scare him off.”

“I want to keep him!”

“And who would be feeding him when you’re at school?”

Your question raised a moment of silence you had expected. It made you sigh loudly again, leaning your back against the kitchen table.

“That's what I thought. You exhaust me, you two,” you said in a breath, watching the girls hustling back to the living room on a mission to find the little beast a name.

You were fucked. All of you.

Rolling your shoulders back, you spun around and ignored the noises above your head. You were fairly certain a family of mice had taken up residence in the walls, but it didn’t matter. You had greater issues as of now, starting with the dog jumping around the girls.

While their laughter filled the house, you finished pouring boiling water into your cup and dunked a teabag inside, watching the clear water turn a bloody red. What could you even tell Johnny? Maybe you could lie and tell him the girls’ new school project was to take care of a puppy for a few days. Make them more responsible. After all, your neighbor's son had taken care of a guinea pig once.

No, you scoffed at yourself. Your husband was more clever than that. He would see right through you and ask for the truth that you would deliver because you were like that. You hated lying to him, just as much as you hated him lying to you.

Ten minutes later, your eyes were focused on the tea between your hands. You almost jumped out of the armchair when you heard the jingle of keys being thrown into the drawer in the hallway.

The front door closed with a thud and the girls looked up at you, waiting for any instruction.

And here you were, sacrificing yourself again for those two little monsters. Setting your cup down on the coffee table, you tried to appear as serious as possible and pointed a finger at them.

“Don’t move, okay? Don’t move and keep the dog with you both.”

“‘Kay Mommy,” Lynn grinned up at you, stroking the dog’s head resting on her lap.

You gave them a brief nod and cursed at yourself when you stepped across the dolls lying on the carpet, those poor things looking as crazy as you. So you quickly smoothed down your hair and waltzed to the kitchen, where Johnny was removing his leather jacket and boots. Seemed like he had finally heard after all those times you had yelled at him to stop getting the floor dirty with soil and grease.

“Darlin’?”

Johnny snapped his neck to face you with that charismatic smile he was always giving you, hanging his jacket on the coat rack. He was always making your heart flip too.

You crossed the room in no time, wrapping your arms around his neck. Sometimes you just greeted each other with a quick peck, and that was okay too. But you had missed him more than usual today, huddling up to shed warmth.

“Hi,” you whispered, hoping you looked as innocent as you sounded.

His forehead knocked against yours, and you could feel the love rolling off him in waves when he pressed a quick kiss on your mouth. And another. His face went to the crook of your neck, pressing into the sensitive skin as he pulled you as close to his body as possible. So he had missed you too, maybe more.

“We just had dinner,” you muttered, breathing in the scent of smoke clinging to his skin. “Didn’t know when you’d be back.”

“It’s okay,” Johnny’s lips grazed your cheek. “I’m not hungry tonight.”

“You’ll change your mind when you get a taste,” you grinned, pecking his lips and forgetting for a second about the dog taking shelter in your living room. “C’mere.”

Johnny’s steps were heavy behind you, trailing to the kitchen counter. His body nearly collided with your back when you faced him again, lifting a wooden spoonful of tomato sauce to his mouth and thumbing his bottom lip gently.

“How’s that?” you asked, biting down on your lip.

“You know it’s fuckin’ delicious, as usual,” Johnny hummed, giving a smile that made you smile too. "Love it."

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” his hand slithered back down your pants, steering around your backside and fondling you.

A small chuckle escaped your lips, happy to be still feeding your man after six years of marriage. It was almost unimaginable how after all these years of being with him, you still wanted nothing more than to be close like a lovesick teenager.

“Where are the girls?” Johnny asked before he could do anything to you, licking his lips as he stole a glance toward the living room.

That’s when the dog decided to bark. A low, high-pitched bark that made you want to kick him out yourself.

“Shit.”

Johnny stared back at you, no trace of that amused grin anymore. “What’s that?”

But he was already making a beeline for the other room, and you beat him to it to block his way.

“Listen to me first,” you ordered, pointing that finger again at his face and swallowing when he looked down at you that way, the same look he gave in bed sometimes. “Alright? Listen. Joan found a puppy in the garden earlier, and I’ve told the girls we can't keep it.”

“And?”

“And they–well, they were waitin’ for you to come home,” you chickened out, making him huff. “C'mon, what was I supposed to do, hmm?”

Johnny scowled, staring impassively at you and skirting past your figure to have a look at the intruder.

Mumbling another inaudible curse, you dared to look at the scene too. The dog was now curled on Joan’s lap, sleeping softly. They all looked so damn cute. Meant to be, you could say, if your husband didn’t look so unpleased.

“You’re kiddin’ me,” Johnny’s eyes widened at the sight and darted back to yours.

“We asked everyone around if they knew him and they said no,” Lynn explained enthusiastically. “That means we can keep him. He must have lost his parents.”

“They did ask,” you muttered, though only Johnny heard you.

“He's gonna be sad if we abandon him,” Joan was now the one gazing at you both dramatically, giving those sad eyes that usually made her father change his mind.

Johnny stared at the moonlight slanting through the blinds. Ten seconds felt like forever. And eventually, he retreated to the kitchen.

“Take him back where you found him.”

The girls' protests were in vain. Both were already calling for you, sniffling tearfully while the dog snored like a little king on his throne. They begged you to do something, and you knew you had to try. You hated fighting with Johnny, but you hated your daughters’ heartbreak even more.

“Honey,” you started smoothly when you found him by the front door, wide shoulders and thick arms, a cigarette dangling between his lips.

At least he had opened the door to let the smoke out.

“Hmm?”

“We need to talk about this.”

“We don’t,” Johnny sounded casual, as though the matter was already settled.

Angry, it was now your turn to scowl. You were already getting upset at his close-mindedness. Your dad had been like that–talking to your mom like she couldn’t have an opinion. Johnny knew you despised that attitude, and you certainly wouldn’t be the one to let a man get in your way. Even less when it came to the kids.

You stepped closer to him, speaking lowly so the girls wouldn’t eavesdrop. “So you’re the only grown-up making a decision here? Is that it? You’re being selfish and… and clearly blind. You know how happy it makes them.”

Johnny’s eyes met yours, a breath of smoke separating you for a second.

“You want the dog too?” his tone was dry. “Keep it then.”

“Hey, you’re acting like a jackass right now,” you snapped, so close to his face you could feel his breathing over your nose. “It’s a decision we both have to make. I’ve never seen the girls looking so excited by the same thing, Johnny. Taking care of that dog would give them a memorable childhood. Like mine.”

He let out a dry laugh, taking another drag of his cigarette. “Playing with my feelings now, aren’t you?”

“I don’t care,” you almost whined, so tired that the discussion wasn’t going anywhere yet. “Do you fear dogs? Is that why you don’t want it?”

“What?” Johnny scoffed. “No. The tiny shit isn’t goin’ to scare me anytime soon.”

“Tiny shit,” Joan sing-sung lowly, making her way toward you both.

Beside her, Lynn was covering her mouth to suppress her giggles. The sisters exhanged a glance, more hopeful than you really were.

“Bad word, Joan,” you warned, glancing down at the dog she was struggling to cradle in her arms.

Deciding any of this wasn’t worth a fight, you let out a sigh and wordlessly turned your back on Johnny, kneeling before your daughters.

“You’ll have to leave him at the doorstep, baby,” you said quietly, brushing a strand of her hair out of her forehead. “We’ll find him a new family tomorrow, okay?”

“Why?” Lynn asked, a sob catching in her throat.

Joan was already tearing up, holding on to the oblivious dog like it would kill her to let go. You had no doubts she would be sad for an entire week, if not more. She was too kind, too.

“We’ll talk about that in the morning,” you nodded at them, waiting for a nod back. When they did, it was truly the saddest thing you had ever seen. It nearly made you cry, too.

That night, it was Johnny’s turn to tuck them in. You heard his voice from across the hallway, telling his girls he loved them. Small voices said I love you back.

You walked from the bathroom to the bed silently, Johnny hot on your heels.

“How long are you gonna be mad for?” his raspy voice broke through your inner thoughts, bringing you back to the present.

You slipped beneath the white comforter, a foot bumping into his.

“I don’t know,” you shuffled, turning your back to him and burying your head in the pillow. “How long are you gonna be an ass for?”

You had been expecting a response, but nothing came. Just a slight touch over your stomach to test the waters, slipping under your top when you didn’t tell him to stop.

“He’s downstairs,” Johnny muttered, clearly fighting to keep his eyes open.

“What?”

“The dog,” Johnny moved your hair so he could kiss your neck lazily. “He’s downstairs.”

Out of instinct, you tilted your head, allowing him to devour the side of your throat. It was hard to stay mad at him. You squeezed your eyes shut, focusing on his warm fingers.

“How long for?”

“A week to start with,” Johnny replied, though you knew the dog was part of the family now. A week would turn into two, and then he would just forget about it. “Longer if he’s not a pain in the ass.”

You tried hard not to smile out of victory, reminding yourself how hard he had been to deal with. And how he was a pain in the ass.

Johnny's hand slipped over your hip when you rolled over to face him, a hand beneath your pillow.

He swallowed, not quite smiling but not frowning either. You knew he was feeling guilty, always wondering if he was doing the right thing. If he was a good man. A good dad. Yet, you couldn't think of any man who would sacrifice himself like he did. Johnny never hesitated to work overtime and make sure you had all you needed, just like he had promised you all those years ago.

Your lips neared his, a bit bashful, just wanting him to know he could be forgiven easily. It was he who made the final leap by pressing his mouth to yours. His large hand filled the dip of the small of your back, remnants of the cigarette he'd smoked on his lips. A shiver trembled down your spine as your hand stroked his cheek gently.

"Don't sideline me," you pulled away, keeping him close to you. "Please. I know what's good and what's wrong for them."

"I know, darlin'," Johnny muttered back. "I wasn't implyin' that you didn't."

You nodded, keeping your eyes on him. “I’m sorry I got upset. I've had a long day."

Johnny’s lips turned into a smile. “And I’m sorry your man’s a jackass.”

You chuckled, eyes boring into his. “Yeah. Yeah, he is. But he’s a good dad.”

He nodded at your words, kissing your temple and holding you as though he would burn down the city for you. Another kiss was pressed on your forehead and all you had to do was drift asleep peacefully, hoping that dog wouldn't betray you.

#johnny davis #the bikeriders fanfiction #benny cross #johnny davis x reader #the bikeriders #tom hardy #tom hardy fanfiction

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toournextadventure · 1 year ago

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our little secret iii

Summary: All four of you lost the bet, and now it's time to pay up. Thankfully, Maxine and Bobby-Lynn know just how to make sure Lorraine has to pay up too.

Word Count: 8.9k Warnings: swearing, smut 18+, religious talk (typical of southern states), religious trauma, period-typical homophobia Pairing: Lorraine Day x Fem!Reader (Masterlist)

“This ain’t sittin’ right with me,” you whispered to Beau as you tried, once again, to get comfortable in the back of RJ’s van.

Despite your best attempts, you, Beau, and Huck were currently sitting with Lorraine’s crew on the way to a location. It had been agreed by everyone - except you, obviously - that you had all lost the bet, so you should all have to own up. Although you still found it profoundly unfair that Lorraine somehow got out unscathed from the entire thing that she had agreed to.

And now you were stuck in the back of a hot, sweaty van with a bunch of hot, sweaty people that were one camera away from having relations for pay.

“We all lost, we all pay up,” Beau whispered back even as he smiled at Maxine. You rolled your eyes; he was such a suck up.

“Lorraine ain’t gotta pay up,” you grumbled, but settled back in your spot anyway.

Admittedly, you were being rather rude. You had barely said hello to any of them, and you hadn’t talked to them since the trip had started. It wasn’t their fault though, it was entirely on you. You just… didn’t know what to say to them. This wasn’t your world, and it was completely overwhelming. You didn’t care what any of them did for a living, but you hadn’t expected to be a part of it.

And if Jackson didn’t quit staring at you, you were going to lose your mind.

“You look awful familiar,” Jackson said with the slightest tilt of his head. He never stopped rubbing Bobby-Lynn’s thighs.

“Ever been a few hours south of Houston?” You asked, shifting in your spot to bring your knees up to your chest.

“Don’t believe I have,” he said with a shrug.

“Must just be a resemblance, then,” you answered.

“Leave her be,” Bobby-Lynn said as she playfully smacked Jackson’s chest. “Can’t you see you’re making her uncomfortable?”

“Do we make you uncomfortable, sweetheart?” Jackson asked.

Oh. Oh, yeah, that was very uncomfortable.

“You were in ‘Nam, right?” Beau asked, thankfully pulling the attention away from you. You supposed he was good for something.

“Yes sir,” Jackson said with a smile, pulling his dog tags out from under his shirt. “Two tours.”

“North or South?” Beau continued. Okay, maybe you didn’t want to hear so much about this anymore.

“South.”

“Y/N’s brother was in South Vietnam,” Huck chimed in. “Maybe that’s where you recognise her.”

Oh, you wanted them both to shut up. You wanted them both to hush right that instant. You looked up and instantly met Lorraine’s eyes from across the van. She was still sitting beside RJ, going over the script and whatever else she usually did. But there was the smallest tug at the corner of her mouth when she looked at you.

I hate you, you mouthed, to which her smile grew before she went back to the script.

“What’s your brother’s name, sweetheart?” Jackson asked, pulling you back into the conversation that you desperately wished would end.

Although you liked the adorable little frown Lorraine sent Jackson’s way at the use of the little nickname. Maybe you were okay with talking with Jackson. If it could get Lorraine’s feathers ruffled, then it was worth it. It was about time the tables were turned.

“Roy,” you said. “Roy Y/L/N.”

“No shit,” Jackson said. “I served with that son of a bitch.”

“Seriously?” You pulled your knees up to your chest and leaned forward. “Which tour?”

“My first,” he said with a smile.

You smiled back. “So you knew him before he…” your voice trailed off into nothing as your eyes slowly lowered to the floor of the van and your smile fell.

Before he went crazy. But you couldn’t say that out loud, could you? Your daddy had done his best to make sure you all knew not to mention Roy’s “affliction.” A test from God, he had called it. He used it as nothing more than a piss poor excuse to remind everyone that that’s what happens when you fall from faith. What would he say about you?

You just kept your mouth shut and rested your chin on your knees.

“He caught the combat trauma,” Huck said in a far softer tone than Beau ever could have managed.

“Now that’s a shame,” Jackson said with a shake of his head.

“Heard it happens more than you think,” Maxine called out from the front seat. It was probably the first thing you had heard from her since… Well, it was the first thing you had heard. “They all come home different.”

Oh, you weren’t so sure you liked this.

“You can’t come back different,” Bobby-Lynn said with a humourless chuckle. “Besides, it ain’t even real, is it?”

“They said it is,” Maxine continued, finally turning around to face everyone. “Put it in their little book last year, called it PTSD or somethin’ like that.”

You didn’t like this topic at all. The hair on the back of your neck stood up and your grip around your knees tightened. They didn’t get to talk about this like it was nothing of impact to you. Hadn’t they just heard Huck say Roy had this… this combat trauma? And they were going to act like nothing was wrong?

Everyone around you continued to talk about this new PTSD thing that was starting to make its rounds. It felt like someone was watching you. Without lifting your head, you looked up and were instantly met with Lorraine staring at you with that look that she had never grown out of. A look that she gave you every time you would be forced to talk about Beau as if he were the love of your life. A look of pity.

And you hated pity.

“Hey,” Jackson said, a little softer than everyone else’s ongoing conversation. He nudged your foot with his to get you to look over. “If you want me to talk to him, man to man, just let me know.”

His smile was more genuine than you had seen from a stranger in a long time. But there was no comfort in it because his offer was empty. You had no doubt he was being genuine, but how were you going to invite him over and have him talk to Roy without Daddy figuring out? The times were changing, but Jackson was a… certain type of man that you knew Daddy would never happily allow in his home. You and Roy were already scourges upon his land - though he still didn’t know your secret - so how could you possibly invite Jackson over with a clear conscience?

“Thank you,” you said instead, your smile far more convincing than your own thoughts.

The rest of the trip was, by all accounts, uneventful. That blasphemous talk of trauma and war had changed when Lorraine decided it was time to talk about the script. And even as she and RJ went over everything with their stars, and you were faced with the reality that you were truly, painfully alone, you still felt some sort of peace.

You would almost go so far as to say you felt comfortable.

Until you got to the shooting location.

“Are you serious?” You whisper-yelled at Lorraine when you both got out of the van. “You should have told me.”

“Would you have come?” She shot back, quickly shooting a fake smile to Beau and Huck when they passed. “Besides, we’re usin’ the building beside it.”

“You’re full of shit,” you mumbled as you looked up at the steeple of the small chapel.

By all accounts, it was a splendid little church. With a single steeple at the front of the roof and an elevated cross in the back, it almost reminded you of the one at home. Double doors that doubtlessly opened into a small worship room that held eight pews at most before ascending into the podium. A setup not unlike your own church back home, except this one didn’t house the guilt you couldn’t shed.

Beside the church was the parsonage, looking just as you knew them to look. Small, a little run down, painted a white that felt forced upon the environment. The paint was chipped and the window shutters were slightly askew, but it seemed to fit the rather bleak landscape behind it. Not ugly, but not exactly pretty either.

“Whatcha think?” Wayne asked. You jumped, but quickly regained composure. “Ain’t she pretty?”

“It looks cozy,” you said with a shrug. “You’re filmin’ in the parsonage, right? Not the church?”

Wayne laughed. A big hearty laugh that reminded you of all the sweet older men out at the rodeos. The ones that told you you were being ridiculous, but they were going to do their best not to openly tell you. It was a joyous laugh that was both humiliating and comforting simultaneously.

“I nearly forgot Church Mouse said you were a preacher,” he said once his laughter had subsided enough for him to talk.

“Church Mouse?” You asked.

“We’re usin’ the parsonage,” he continued, practically ignoring your question. “We’re not intendin’ to disrespect you.”

He clapped you on the shoulder and cocked his hip. You could see why Lorraine liked him. Overconfident, cocky as hell, but his smile always seemed genuine. Somehow, some way, he had seemed to be in a good mood the entire trip and even now. Optimism at its finest. You wished you could match it.

“Although I do have a favour to ask you,” Wayne said, his voice carrying a lilt that had your stomach churning.

“Yes?” You asked even though you weren’t entirely sure you wanted to know.

“Think you can pray over this little set of ours?” He asked. “Help us break this bad streak we got goin’ on?”

“Oh,” you said with a huff, followed by a nervous chuckle. “Oh, I can do that then.”

Wayne smiled with his teeth and tipped his hat. “Thank ya kindly.”

You kept your eyes trained on the doors of the chapel while Wayne walked away, presumably to help set up whatever it was he was needing to set up. You could pray over the set. It was a little blasphemous to use prayer for something so… risque, but you weren’t a prude. After all, Daddy had always said everyone could use a little prayer.

The handle on the door was a beautiful polished silver; spare no expense for a house of God, of course. Hypocrites, the lot of them. But it was nice to open the doors without even the slightest resistance. Nothing was more terrifying than a run down church with creaky doors. It was like walking into a horror movie.

Your boots echoed off the empty wooden walls of the chapel as you walked down the center aisle, taking in everything about the building. It was a rather beautiful church, you wouldn’t try to deny it. A single, small stained glass window hung above the podium. It would cast a beautiful coloured light where the preacher would be standing on Sunday mornings.

There were three steps up to the podium before you stood behind the lectern and looked out onto the ghostly congregation. Not a single soul was inside the building, but from your spot above the room, you could feel the eyes on you. Momma, Roy, Jimmy. Granma and Granpa were in the back, followed by friends, family, everyone in the congregation that knew you excruciatingly well.

Then there was Daddy, sitting in the aisle of the front pew, watching you with that judgmental look. The one that he gave when he was condemning someone to hell for their sins. And he was looking at you, like he could see through your physical form, all the way to the filthy soul you hid underneath it all.

“You can’t wash away sin,” Daddy said.

You couldn’t breathe.

“I don’t-”

“-There you are.”

The entire congregation disappeared as soon as you saw Lorraine standing in the doorway. Light from the setting sun illuminated her outline, almost a perfect copy of the angel painted above the doorway. And she was. She was an angel, one that you would worship even as you were cast into the pits of hell.

“Thought we lost you,” Lorraine said as she walked down the aisle with far more confidence than she had at home.

Your breath caught in your throat when she finally stepped out of the light in a startling white dress. It looked far too close to a wedding dress. It didn’t make sense, but you couldn’t quit staring. She looked so beautiful. Her smile was illuminating; it left your palms sweaty and your chest hurt-

-you gasped and pulled your hand away from the wooden lectern. The smallest splinter was stuck in your right index finger. It was easy enough to pull out, leaving behind a scarlet drop of blood that grew until dripping down your finger.

“Are you alright?”

You opened your mouth to answer, but when you looked back up Lorraine was in normal clothes. The very same ones she had worn on the trip over. The one she had never changed out of. Right. Maybe you really were crazy.

“I’m fine,” you said with a simple nod. “Just-” you sighed “-doin’ what Wayne asked.”

“Didn’t think he was a praying man,” she said with a frown. “Want some company?”

“Yeah,” you said with a soft smile. “Yeah, I do.”

As you walked down to the bottom of the three steps to meet Lorraine, the blood from your finger smeared across the finely polished wood. You left a stain on that church, same as your own. A stain that, as your Daddy constantly preached, you could never wash away.

—---

“You’re lookin’ a little green, sweetheart,” Huck whispered as he walked up to where you were standing in the back of the room.

“I’m not green,” you whispered back even as you continued to watch the scene unfold before you. “I just- I didn’t know the body could do that.”

“You’re such a preacher’s kid,” he said with a teasing lilt. Thankfully that was all he said before he crossed his arms over his chest and looked forward.

It wasn’t your first time seeing people having sex. You weren’t a complete fool, you had seen it before. Kind of. Okay, maybe it was the most tame sex in the world, but you had seen it! And you weren’t some sort of virgin either, so you weren’t totally in the dark. But you certainly hadn’t seen this before and it was… fascinating.

And a little concerning. Your head tilted. How did it even fit? Did Bobby-Lynn even genuinely find it enjoyable? Well, okay, after that noise you could believe that maybe she did. But all that other stuff, there was no way. No way at all- wait, that actually looked interesting. You wondered if Lorraine would like that.

"You're starin'," Huck whispered.

"I can't help it," you shot back. "It's like when you pass a car wreck. You can't look away."

"I think they would die if they heard you compare watchin' smut to a car wreck," he laughed. It was a little loud, you hoped the boom mic wouldn't pick it up.

"Where's your little boy toy?" You asked, hoping to take the awkward attention away from yourself. Even though you still couldn't look away from the scene. God, you hoped it was over soon.

"Your boyfriend," he said pointedly, "is downstairs talkin' with Maxine."

Oh Maxine. You had only known her for a few days, but you were starting to think she enjoyed stirring up trouble. Within moments of getting set up in the parsonage, she had made friendly with Huck and Beau. A little too friendly. You would have laughed about the whole situation if you hadn’t been attempting to act jealous to keep up the facade.

“Reckon I should go act the part of the jealous girlfriend, huh?” You asked.

“Yeah you should,” he whispered. “Though I doubt anyone will believe it with the way you’re watching your dear Rainey over there.”

You hated him for even bringing it up. So what if you had stopped watching Bobby-Lynn and instead watched Lorraine? The way she gently blew a few strands of hair out of her face while she held the boom mic as steady as you had ever seen. She wasn’t muscular by any means, but you could still see the tone in her shoulders. Or the… the little crinkle between her brows when she focused…

Okay, Huck was right, you needed to leave.

“Told you,” he said as you backed out of the room with a hellish heat in your cheeks.

As soon as the door closed behind you and the pornographic sounds muted, you could finally breathe again. Your mind was clear and you could walk down the stairs without a thought in your head. Well… maybe you had one or two thoughts, but it was okay. You could repent later at the chapel.

Maxine’s laughter was… almost adorable, if she wasn’t trying so hard to seduce Beau. Her nails lazily scratched up and down his bicep, and her face was embarrassingly close to his ear. If you had loved him the way you were supposed to, you would’ve been furious. Should have been furious.

You pictured Lorraine in Beau’s position. Sitting there with Maxine all over her, laughing at the unfunny jokes, leaning a little too close. It made your stomach turn. Your skin was hot and clammy and something pounded inside your head, screaming to be let out. There would have been no shame in your body for grabbing her and dragging her away.

Okay, there you go. Now you had the right feelings.

Your mind had already forgotten Lorraine wasn’t there when you sat in Beau’s lap. Like a good girlfriend should do, you wrapped your arms around his neck and held him close, inhaling his scent. Sawdust. Something you supposed other women liked, which made him a downright tease.

“How’s your first smut viewin’ goin’?” Maxine asked, which instinctively had your nose scrunch before you regained composure. “That good, huh?”

“It ain’t bad,” you said. “Don’t think I really understand the appeal, though.”

“What part is… unappealing to you?” She asked, her voice far softer than necessary.

The way she leaned in closer, trailing her eyes over every inch of you… and maybe you could see the appeal. It was something about her hand that had moved from Beau’s arm to yours. Soft. Almost too soft, but you didn’t want it to stop. And she held eye contact like it was an art-

-oh, Maxine was dangerous.

“Oh,” Maxine said with a small smile, “so that’s what it is.”

What was that supposed to mean? You opened your mouth to ask, but the stairs started creaking from the heavy footsteps. The skin underneath Maxine’s fingers felt terribly cold when she pulled back. Unfortunately for her, she didn’t pull back before Lorraine appeared, her brows furrowed and eyes glued to her coworker.

Maxine just smiled.

“Am I interrupting somethin’?” Lorraine asked. Anyone that didn’t know her well would have missed the slight elevation in her tone. A dangerous tone.

“Just learnin’ a bit about each other,” Maxine said. Her hand rested on your arm again and you felt a heat in your cheeks. “Since we’re stuck here together and all.”

Like the dutiful girlfriend, you hid your head in Beau’s neck and tried to ignore his slight shake of silent laughter.

That tension didn’t end even as the sun set and stars came out to play. Everyone relaxed and had their fun and it reminded you of nights with just the four of you. Laughing, teasing, seeing Huck and Beau get closer than when they were at your house. Not too close, but it was still enough. Hell, it was almost enough to ease the usual anger from Lorraine being with R.J.

Until a few days later when it was time for everyone to start paying up on their lost bets.

The days had already started off miserably. Since you were “officially” Beau’s girlfriend, you were set to share a bed with him. But when Huck snuck in and you all tried to fit three people on a twin size mattress? Well, that was just borderline impossible. Clearly it wasn’t fully impossible, seeing as how you all made it work, but that didn’t mean you actually slept at all through the night.

Tack onto that Lorraine and R.J. coming down at the same time each morning, and you realised that you were horribly, terribly alone? You would have killed someone to get even just a single blanket and a big empty spot on the floor. Let you lie like a dog while everyone else became stars.

The first to suffer was, of course, you. Now, you would admit, you had offered to pay up first. In your convoluted train of thought, the sooner you watched Lorraine’s scene, the sooner you could forget it. At least that was what you believed would happen. You hoped that’s what would happen.

But in the moment, as you watched Lorraine getting ready, you knew it wouldn’t be quite that simple. You had to watch her move, see the look on her face, listen to her moans. She certainly never sounded like that when you were with her. Was this something that she genuinely enjoyed? Were you nothing more than a pleasant distraction when she was practically forced to go back home?

“I can’t do this,” you whispered to yourself.

The hair on the back of your neck stood up as everyone watched you back out of the room, practically tripping over your own feet in your haste. Each step felt like the ground was rushing up to meet you, even as you stayed perfectly upright. You wished you would just trip down the stairs, maybe then it would ease the spiraling of your thoughts.

Downstairs wasn’t much better when you were still aware of exactly what was going on upstairs. Did you mean anything to her? Really, truly? Surely you did, Lorraine was hardheaded, she wouldn’t entertain your presence if she didn’t want you there. On the other hand, she kept RJ around for nothing, so maybe you were on the same level.

You picked up one of the books you had found the other day; some book called The Dead Sea Scriptures. It wasn’t all that fantastic, your daddy actually had a copy in his office at the church. But at least it was a distraction. Just like you. Okay, that certainly wasn’t helpful. Maybe you needed a stiff drink too.

The Hollywood grade acting you did was enough to convince everyone you were just peachy. No one batted an eye when RJ, Wayne, and Jackson left the parsonage after finishing Lorraine’s scene. To get some more groceries, they had said. You didn’t care, it really didn’t matter one way or another where they went.

“So,” Maxine said as she sat down beside you on the couch. Well, she practically sat on you. “You’ve got some explainin’ to do.”

“I’m not explainin’ the book of Job,” you said without looking up from your book. “Jackson already believes there’s a dragon in it and I can’t have that argument again.”

“Not about that, silly,” she said; her hand was hot on your knee. “About you bein’ a third wheel.”

Oh you were not getting into that kind of conversation with Maxine. The past few days had been wonderful, and truthfully you had enjoyed it. They were all a bit… extravagant, but they were kind. As odd as it sounded to you, they felt more like family than most of your own family. You could see why Lorraine spent so much time with them even when she didn’t have to.

But you enjoying their company did not mean you wanted to get into the whole relationship conversation with Maxine.

“Your boys are some of those queers, huh?” She asked. “That’s why they’re up there filmin’ some fake scene while you’re down here.” Her hand squeezed right above your knee. “Readin’ some nerdy little book.”

“It was a bet,” you said. “We’ve always paid up, ever since we were little.” She smirked. “And my book ain’t nerdy.”

“It bother you that you gotta share your man?” She asked, as if you hadn’t even said anything in the first place.

“I-”

“-did you really start without me?” Bobby-Lynn asked when she appeared in the downstairs living room.

You did your best to conceal your displeasure when Bobby-Lynn practically ran over to sit on the other side of you. Her legs were bare, her denim shorts barely covering any part of her. She swung them over your own legs quickly, leaving you officially trapped underneath the both of them. You would’ve been lying if you said it didn’t make your stomach flip.

“How far did ya get?” Bobby-Lynn asked. She was practically bouncing in excitement.

“We just started,” Maxine answered with a smile that would have made you squirm if you weren’t so focused on trying to figure out what was going on.

“Don’t y’all have scenes to shoot?” You asked in a desperate attempt to get them to leave you alone before they really got started.

“Don’t you have someone you should be thinkin’ about?” Maxine asked.

You opened your mouth instinctively, ready to argue, especially when Bobby-Lynn continued to lean closer. They both had some nerve to believe they could catch you off guard with their interrogation that was only just beginning. They had known you for, what, all of a few days? And still they thought they could get something like this out of you? They were pornstars, not detectives.

“Of course I’m thinkin’ about her-”

-maybe they were detectives.

You threw your head back against the couch, a groan leaving your lips. On either side of you, both women practically cheered, giving each other a high-five. It was disgusting, were you nothing more than a pawn in whatever game they were playing? Your daddy was right; couldn’t trust sinners.

You actively ignored the fact that you were one of them.

“Why the long face, sweetheart?” Bobby-Lynn asked.

“It’s not like we couldn’t tell,” Maxine said.

What was that supposed to mean? How did they even notice? As far as you could remember, you hadn’t even spent hardly any time in the same room as Lorraine. How could they get some sort of scandal out of that? Let alone the fact you thought you had said maybe three words to her after she had helped you pray over set on that first day. No, none of that made sense.

“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about,” you said as you finally pulled yourself back upright, ignoring that Maxine’s and Bobby-Lynn’s faces were so close to yours they could kiss your cheeks if they wanted.

“You think every girl is fine with their boyfriend hookin’ up with another guy?” Bobby-Lynn asked.

You knew that would be the issue. You knew it, and you had told all three of them that it was shady at best. There was no logical reason for it, even if it was from some stupid bet. It may have been the 80s, but not everyone was as easy going as the four of you were. Not everyone was as understanding, and though that wasn’t the current issue, it still played its part.

“Not to mention all the lookin’ you’ve been doin’,” Bobby-Lynn chimed in. “You certainly ain’t lookin’ at Beau that way.”

“I-” you closed your mouth just as quickly as you had opened it. What were you going to say to argue? What could you say?

“Honey, we ain’t judgin’,” Maxine said. Her hand felt warm on your neck. She was far too close for comfort. “But this whole thing is pretty sad.”

“It ain’t that sad,” you pitifully attempted to argue.

“Darlin’, it’s downright painful,” Bobby-Lynn said. Her going back and forth with Maxine was giving you whiplash. “Ain’t never seen anyone pine like that.”

“It’s a bit pathetic,” Maxine said.

“Hey,” you said, your eyebrows instantly furrowing. “Hold your horses, that’s unnecessary.”

“Don’t be gettin’ so defensive,” Bobby-Lynn said with a smile that was to die for. “We’re here to help.”

“By throwin’ my self-esteem out the window?” You asked.

“Oh no,” Maxine said with a slowly growing smile, “it’s much better than that.”

This time, when your stomach twisted into knots again, you didn’t feel quite so dreadful about the upcoming plans.

—---

After Bobby-Lynn and Maxine had told you about their sneaky little plan, the parsonage had felt a little less like a prison. When all the guys got back and everyone finished upstairs, you almost felt at peace. There was still the lingering tension when both Lorraine and RJ were in the room, but you could work with it. And for once, you didn’t feel quite so bad when you met Lorraine’s eyes.

“How many scenes we got left?” Wayne asked when everyone settled downstairs for supper.

In a very selfless move, you had offered to cook. It certainly wasn’t because you didn’t want to have to look at anyone while Bobby-Lynn and Maxine got to work on their plan. That would have been selfish, and you were nothing if not a good, selfless, Christian girl.

“Only two or three, we can finish them tomorrow,” RJ said from his spot beside Lorraine on the couch.

“Me and Maxine have an addition to make,” Bobby-Lynn said.

“An addition?” Wayne asked. “What kind?”

“Well,” Maxine said, drawing out the word for longer than necessary, “we were thinkin’ our little Preacher would look awful pretty on her knees.”

“Excuse me?” Lorraine asked.

Suddenly, the food you were cooking required the utmost attention. It would be quite the shame if you burned something. After all, everyone back there was working rather hard on their scenes, they deserved a good meal, didn’t they? And if it gave you an excuse to not see the look on Lorraine’s face then, well, that’s just an added bonus.

“Fitting, ain’t it?” Bobby-Lynn asked.

“And we’d take good care of her,” Maxine drawled. Oh, they were really testing the waters.

It seemed to be working.

“She’s not part of this,” Lorraine said.

“Wouldn’t be such a bad idea,” RJ said. “Might draw more attention to the film.”

“It’s smut, RJ,” she continued, “it draws enough attention on its own.”

“Well hold on now, let’s talk this out,” Wayne said.

Everyone started talking - except, you noticed, for Maxine - and you almost wanted to laugh. If you had known this was all it would take to get Lorraine on edge, you would’ve said something like this ages ago. It sounded like she didn’t even care that RJ was in the room. It was… a nice feeling.

“Did you plan this?” Beau asked, suddenly appearing beside you.

“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about,” you said softly with a shrug. “Everyone here has a mind of their own.”

“Well keep it up,” he said as he rested his hand on the small of your back, “because I think it’s workin’.”

“The answer’s no,” Lorraine said.

“Well why don’t we ask her?” Bobby-Lynn said.

Silence fell over the room quickly; it was suffocating. If you could have, you would have slunk away to the room you shared with the boys. Even before turning around you could feel everyone’s eyes on you. Maybe, if you were really lucky, you could get away without actually answering the question.

That possibility was struck down the moment you turned your head to look out into the room.

Lorraine was looking at you expectantly, most likely believing she knew what you were going to say. In any other situation, she would have been right. You wanted no one but her, and everyone was more than aware of it. Well, everyone but Wayne, RJ, and potentially Jackson. Though judging by the way Jackson was looking at you, he knew too.

“Might be fun,” you said with a shrug and turned back around. “I can always repent next door.”

“Are you serious?” Lorraine asked.

At that you turned back around and leaned your hip against the counter. Was she really going to question you? After what she did for a living? Not once had you ever judged her for it, you had even helped her make light of it when she felt guilt creeping in. She had the nerve to question you?

“Like a heart attack, honey,” you said with far more confidence than you felt.

The look Lorraine gave you was deadly.

“Seems we got our answer,” Maxine said.

Lorraine missed the look she gave Bobby-Lynn.

—---

You hadn’t been asleep for long when the door of your room creaked open. Part of you wished it would have stayed closed; it was the first night you weren’t sleeping on the floor while Huck and Beau took the bed. Maxine was becoming a godsend; she’s the one who had convinced the boys to sleep in the van outside.

“Are you asleep?” Lorraine asked quietly after the door had clicked shut.

“Yes,” you said even as you sat up and looked at her.

She was in the nightgown you remembered getting her for her birthday. Her other one had been so old, there was no way it had even been comfy anymore. Not to mention she had made sure to let you know at every opportunity how badly she needed a new one. Clearly RJ hadn’t listened, so you had gotten it yourself. It was mighty cute, if you did say so yourself.

Lorraine tip-toed her way to the bed, whispering a quick “scoot over” before crawling underneath the covers with you. Even though the temperature outside was mild, her feet were freezing. Which she made sure to make you aware of when she stuck them against your legs, her smile taking over when you yelped and shivered.

“Were you serious about doin’ a scene with Bobby-Lynn and Max?” She asked as she reached out to force her folded hands between yours. She was freezing all over.

“Depends,” you said even as you started trying to warm up her hands. “Were you bein’ serious about tellin’ me no?”

“Of course I was,” she said indignantly.

“Then so was I,” you said.

Lorraine groaned. “You can’t be serious.”

“As a heart attack,” you said just as quickly.

Even though you weren’t serious at all. That was never the actual plan. The plan was simply to get Lorraine jealous enough to come into the room and, what would you know, that’s exactly what she had done. Even if absolutely nothing else happened, you would be happy. At least you got to spend a night with her without having to keep it a total secret.

“Why would you want to do this?” She asked. “It’s not like you don’t know how it works.”

“Maybe I want to learn a few things,” you said with as much of a shrug as you could do lying on your side.

“What could you possibly learn from smut?” Lorraine asked. “It’s all fake.”

“Were all those noises you made fake?” You asked. “Cause you never do that with me.”

The look on her face was almost offensive. Her eyes lit up like she was in on some little secret. Was she really going to laugh at you? She never laughed at you, not even when she rightfully should. Her hand now cupping your jaw was not enough to distract from the fact she was laughing.

“Is that what you’re worried about?” She asked. “You think I don’t like havin’ sex with you?”

“Not that you don’t like it,” you said quickly. “Just that,” you sighed, “you don’t like it as much.”

Her thumb brushed against your bottom lip. “You make me feel things none of those guys could even dream of.”

“Well you have to say that now,” you said as you leaned further into her hand. “Otherwise I wouldn’t let you put your cold feet on me.”

Her smile slipped to something a little different, a bit more seductive. You didn’t put up any resistance as she used her elbow to push your shoulder until you were laying on the bed. With the same ease as you had seen numerous times, she followed, her legs on either side of you and her weight resting comfortable on top of you. A position you very much loved, even without the arousal that came with it.

“Is there any way I can convince you not to film tomorrow?” Lorraine asked, lowering her tone in such a way that had you squirming underneath her. “What can I do?”

God you were pathetic, she hadn’t even touched you yet.

It was supposed to be a simple question, but you took it to heart. Of course she could convince you, you weren’t planning on filming anyway, but what could you get out of this arrangement? There had to be something you truly wanted, especially now that you had some sort of leverage.

Ah. That was it.

“Somethin’ we haven’t done before,” you said. “Somethin’ you like.”

Her smile slowly grew as she thought of what she wanted. The weight on top of you shifted until her hands pressed your shoulders further into the mattress. You felt her breath on your lips before you felt her kiss, quick and soft and eager. It was enough to get your heart racing even when she pulled away. She was off you in a moment, practically running out of the room.

You sat up on your elbows and watched the open door. What was she doing? Surely she wasn’t going to just leave, right? No, she wouldn’t do that. Right? That had been one of her more mischievous smiles, and she was absolutely one for payback. But you also knew Lorraine was nothing if not eternally aroused, so surely she wouldn’t just leave.

At least she better not, because if she teased you like that only to go and get back in bed with RJ, you were going to lose your mind. You weren’t usually one to make a scene, but you could always make an exception. The wrath of God, and all that good preacher nonsense.

You’re in a house of sin.

Yes you were, and you were going to partake in it for the night. Repentance was only 50 feet and a few hours away. If Lorraine could remove her cross necklace during scenes, surely you could remove the guilt from your chest for a few hours. God may have been in the walls, watching your every move, but He could look away for the time. You were far past the point of caring.

By the time Lorraine came back into the room, you were already jittery. Her hands were behind her back as she closed the door quietly, the click almost inaudible. that mischievous smile was back, but you noticed the way she tapped her foot against the floor, still in the same spot.

“You promise you wanna try somethin’ new?” She asked, her voice uncertain, carrying over the thick air.

“I’m sure,” you said, “just get over here.”

Her steps were slow, methodical on the straight path to the bed. The whole way her hands stayed behind her back. You wondered what she had, but you couldn’t think too hard. Hell, the sway of her hips could have made you forget your own name.

That familiar weight settled on you again as Lorraine straddled you, placing whatever was in her hands off to the side, just out of your sight. When you tried to twist and look at it, she pressed down against your shoulders again, her lips instantly finding yours.

Her nightgown rested high on her thighs, and you were never one to keep your hands to yourself. She sighed when you slid your hands under her nightgown, resting on her hips. Her breath tickled on your cheek. You couldn’t hold back your quiet chuckle, which Lorraine returned, smiling into the kiss.

“Don’t tickle,” she mumbled against your lips.

“What,” you said just as softly, “that ain't romantic?”

She laughed again, eliciting the same sound out of you as your hands continued up. Your knuckles brushed against the underside of her breasts, transforming her laugh into something a little more breathy but no less joyful. A sound that, you decided, was much better than anything you had heard during her scene.

“Take it off, Raine,” you said.

“What's the magic word?” She said before sitting up straight.

“Please,” you said breathlessly.

She barely waited for the word to leave your mouth before she pulled the nightgown over her head. Every time you saw her undress was like the first time. Your heart raced as she uncovered every inch of skin, from her thighs to her hips to her breasts. Not a single space had been neglected by you in your times together, and you weren't going to start that night.

You sat up, keeping a hand on Lorraine's back to keep her in your lap. She didn't hesitate to grab your face and pull you into a kiss. It immediately shot a wave of arousal down your spine, pooling in your lower abdomen. And for once, that usual spark of guilt was absent.

“Yours too,” she barely managed to say between kisses.

You couldn't speak, simply nodded as you fumbled around like a teenager. Or course the hem of your shirt would hide from you on the one night you not only had Lorraine, but a bed. She laughed again and pulled away. You tried to chase her - you would always try to chase her - but she pulled back again and placed a finger to your lips.

“Let me help,” she said.

Her fingers were so light against your skin that it tickled. She found the hem of your shirt quickly but took her sweet time pulling it up. Those delectable nails of hers scratched against your skin the entire time. Over your sides, the sides of your breasts, the underside of your arms as you held them up for her to finish pulling the shirt off.

“Is this Beau’s?” She asked.

“It’s comfy,” you said meekly.

She tossed the shirt to the side. “You should wear one of mine sometime.”

“I thought you liked me better shirtless,” you teased.

“Maxine has a word for people like you,” Lorraine said when she pulled you back in for a kiss. “She'd call you a minx.”

“I like it,” you said, kissing her back and running your knuckles over her nipples. Her shiver was delightful. “Sounds downright sinful.”

“Stop talking,” she said.

And oh god you did. How could you even consider doing anything else when you were enveloped by her? Her scent, her taste, the feel of her skin, warm against yours. If kissing her was the final nail in your coffin, you would accept death gracefully and with no regrets.

She nipped your lip when you lightly pinched her nipples. Never hard enough to hurt, no, but just enough to draw the most perfect little yelp from her lips. In return, her hands fell to your ribs, pushing against you until you were laying on the bed again.

You shifted, pulling your knee up until you pressed against her. She let out a breathy sigh, but otherwise kept kissing you. There was just something mesmerizing about the way she tasted. An ambrosia not for the gods, but for you alone. A sustenance for your very mind, body, and soul.

“Take these off,” Lorraine said, pulling lightly against the pants that you had also stolen from Beau.

In your defense, he was your fake boyfriend.

“Will you take yours off?” You asked even though you had already started trying to take your pants off.

She nodded hastily. “I want to feel you for a moment.”

You would've happily let her feel you for as long as she wished. All she had to do was give you the smile she was giving you in that moment. The one she had before the accident, the one she saved exclusively for the times she was alone with you. If she looked at you like that for the rest of eternity, you would be in heaven.

Her skin was hot against yours as she laid completely on top of you. On instinct, you wrapped your arms around her shoulders and back as she tucked her head into your neck. Her breath tickled your collar bone, but you couldn't have been happier.

How could such peace be a sin? Such pure love, something that would not only be applauded but praised if you had but been born a man? What difference could there truly be, aside from the shape of your body. The guilt sparked in your chest once again, but this time, you quickly stomped it out.

You would not be shamed for loving Lorraine. Not that night.

The position you were both in was comfortable and, quite frankly, innocent. But that didn't ease the inferno that was still raging inside you. If you had the ability to have Lorraine to yourself more than once in a blue moon, you would have been satisfied. But the “lust of the flesh,” as daddy called it, was as present and angry as always.

Thankfully, Lorraine seemed to feel the same when you felt her hips move and you felt her arousal on your thigh.

“Wanna try somethin’ new?” She asked, placing a seemingly innocuous kiss behind your ear.

“With you?” You asked. You placed your finger under her chin and lifted her face until you could see her eyes. “Always.”

She smiled and kissed you quickly before sitting up. You tried to sit up with her, but she used her bad hand to push you back down with ease. Not that it stopped you from trying to look around her to see the thing she had brought into the room. Her smile turned nervous, but no less excited as she finally turned back around.

“Is that-”

“-Maxine and Bobby-Lynn used one like it a few times,” Lorraine started to explain while she started pulling straps around your hips and thighs. “I asked ‘em to get me one not too long ago.”

“Jesus, Raine,” you said as she pulled the straps tighter.

“It works the same as-”

“-I can guess how it works,” you interrupted.

Her hands slowed to a stop as she finished securing the… phallic toy in place. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

“Lorraine,” you said as softly as you could, finally sitting up - as best you could without feeling too awkward - and placing your hand on the scarred side of her jaw. “I’m more than okay with it.” She leaned further into your hand. “If you asked me to wear only my boots and spurs, I would do it.”

“Oh yeah?” She asked, her teasing smile coming back in full force.

“Don’t push your luck, Day,” you said before leaning forward to kiss her again.

She moaned softly into the kiss. “If I did it right, you should feel it too,” she said as she lifted herself onto her knees, hovering over you. “So let me know.”

You nodded and pulled her into a kiss. As curious as you were to watch, you wanted to feel her lips against yours. You knew the moment she lowered herself onto the toy; her gasp was to die for. Shorty, breathy, almost inaudible if you hadn’t been kissing her already. The sound alone was enough to leave you soaking and needy.

But then you felt the toy press against you, and you knew you were a goner. Lorraine stayed still in your lap, catching her breath, and you would have been more than happy to keep her there. If she moved, you swore you would cum on the spot. It wasn’t a feeling that was so much better than everything else, but simply the knowledge that you were both feeling something together.

“I guess it works,” Lorraine teased even though she could barely keep herself in control.

“It does,” you said through clenched teeth as you tried to stay strong when she started moving again.

She didn’t have to move for long before you pulled her into a kiss, holding her tight against you. You did your best to move your hips with her. It was awkward and clumsy, and you both laughed a little when, more than once, you moved wrong and the toy slipped out. But you were okay with that, because it meant you got to hear her little gasp again.

As wrong as it felt, you had to picture Jackson to get a good rhythm going, or at least to get started. Specifically, you thought of the way his hips had moved with each thrust. You knew you got it right when Lorraine moaned, her head falling to your shoulder. If you hadn’t been so focused on not cumming or losing your rhythm, you would’ve moaned just the same.

“Baby,” she mumbled against your neck. Her nails dug into your shoulders; you would have to cover the marks up in the morning.

You knew what she wanted; she only ever truly called you “baby” when she was almost ready to cum. And you were more than happy to oblige. You kept one arm wrapped tight around her waist, holding her in place while your free hand slid down her stomach. Past the almost unnoticeable scatter of scars and through that small patch of hair.

Her hips jolted against your hand when you brushed against her clit. It was sloppy work; you would need to get used to the unusual angle later. But clearly it didn’t matter, because while her moans stayed quiet, they got higher in pitch until she bit down on your shoulder.

You used that as your sign to follow her, not even needing three more thrusts before you tipped over the edge along with her. You held her tight, hyper aware of every inch of her skin against yours. Of the slick sweat that coated both your bodies. Of the sting of her teeth and nails, but you would rather die than have her stop. Of your breaths intermingling between you until you were of one breath, one heartbeat, one soul.

Heaven existed, and it was right in that moment with Lorraine.

“You’re bleedin’,” she said softly. You didn’t have to look to know what she meant.

“It’s alright,” you said, pressing a light kiss to the side of her head. “You can nurse me back to health later.”

Lorraine giggled. A light sound that reminded you of when you were all kids and you would do anything to get that sound out of her. It was a reminder of simpler times, back when you were too young to understand that everyone believed what you felt for each other was wrong. A sin. Back when love was just that; love.

You let yourself fall back onto the bed, pulling Lorraine with you. She made a small noise when the toy moved inside her, but quickly settled back onto your chest. Her nails felt good scratching lightly against your skin, more comforting than ticklish. A nervous habit of hers.

“Did you learn all that from Jackson?” She asked.

“Don’t remind me,” you said; she chuckled. “I ain’t proud to say I had to picture him there for a minute.”

“Well, you gave him a run for his money,” she said.

“Think so?” You asked; you felt her nod against your chest. “Cause you still didn’t make the same noises.”

“Because these were real,” she said. Her voice grew quiet. “Everything with you is real.”

You wished she wouldn’t say things like that. That she could just let you both lie there, comfortable in the silence. Everyone was aware of the situation, but just once you wanted to pretend it wasn’t happening. That you actually did get to love her without feeling shame or guilt.

You just pulled her closer.

“I love you,” you said.

“I love you,” she repeated.

It wasn’t enough, but for the moment, you were going to pretend it was. For the moment, you could pretend this was your daily life. Being in the same bed as Lorraine, showing her just how much you loved her, how much she truly meant to you. Holding her tight until you were of the same body and spirit, because no matter what the world thought, you were.

It wasn’t enough. But it would do.

“Are you really goin’ to film a scene tomorrow?” Lorraine asked.

“Absolutely not,” you said. “Bobby-Lynn and Maxine just wanted to getcha all riled up.”

Lorraine lifted her head from your chest and lowered her brows.

“Are you serious?”

“As a heart attack,” you said with a smile.

“Sometimes I hate all of y’all,” she mumbled, quickly ducking her head back underneath your jaw. You still managed to catch the smile on her lips.

“I love you too, darlin’,” you said, pressing a lingering kiss to the top of her head.

Now this. This was enough.

#lorraine day x reader #lorraine x reader #lorraine day #jenna ortega x reader

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mx-pastelwriting · 6 months ago

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Redamancy

Lee Russell x GN! Reader

Summary: Standing up for Lee against his sisters.

Warnings: Slight Fluff, Established Relationship, LOTS of Confrontation, Yelling, Married to Lee, Slight Angst, Slight Hurt/Comfort, Heated Kiss, Mention of Lee being turned on

Wiping away the fuzz of the morning from your eyes while stomping down the steps, annoyance built from the banging on the front door. Having left Lee to sleep in on his day off, leaving you with an almost giddy feeling of getting to yell at your porch guest.

Taking notice of the two silhouettes through the frosty French door windows before swinging open the door, ready to unleash hell. "What!" you say angrily, not ready to yell just yet, looking at the two women who stood on the porch who looked more annoyed than you.

"Does Lee live here?" one said, but the other cut in, "Of course he does." The comment was not clearly meant for you, as she pushed past you.

"Lee, get your ass down here!" She yelled with the other following in, "What the fuck!?" you say, turning to watch them stare at the stairs. Watching as Lee flew down the steps, looking confused and scared while still putting on his shirt.

"Look at you, a fucking mess," she says, laughing, causing the other to do the same. "I'm sorry, I don't know they were coming." He says to you first, then turning to them, "Why are you here?" he asks, making them laugh harder.

"You're lucky we even came out here, Lee," one says before the other chimes in. "We're staying here for a few days; mom's watching the kids, so we need a break," she says, looking around in disgust. "Don't be rude, Lee. Introduce us," the other says, arms crossed.

Taking a deep breath with an extended arm to your back, he introduced the two who welcomed themselves into your shared home: "These are my sisters, Lacey and Lynn," pointing to the both of them. Lacey being the one who pushed past you earlier.

"Where's the guest rooms?" Lynn said walking to the stairs, pushing past Lee. "No," you said, causing all of their heads to snap in your direction. "You're not staying here," you say, laughing lightly at the ridiculousness, yet they turn to Lee. "Look at you—no balls, no calls, no emails, not even welcoming us in." Lacey starts seeing real fear fall on Lee's face, breaking your heart.

"ENOUGH!" You yell, making them turn to you once again, "Get the fuck out of our house!" seeing as fear lay on all of their faces. "I did not wake up in the crack of fucking dawn just to hear two strangers bitch and moan at my husband!" Continuing your unleashing of hell watching as the two step back from it.

Your rant didn't stop one of them from turning to Lee. "Nuh uh, don't even fucking look at him," you warn before yelling once more "OUT!" watching as they rush out of the house.

Keeping up with them, sadly having missed them with the door, you slammed it shut, then locked it, taking a few breaths to calm down before looking over to Lee, stunned by the events that just unfolded, his hazel eyes staring at you.

"Are you okay?" you ask softly while rushing over to him. "Yeah," he says breathy, "No wonder you never told me about-" cutting you off as his lips smashed against yours, quickly feeling your back hit the wall. Breaking the kiss, allowing you both to catch your breaths, "I fucking love you," he says, voice deep while pushing against you, feeling just how much he loves you for defending his mere existence.

A/N: I wrote, proofread, and edited this while having double vision. Hope you enjoyed!

Hello, I hope you enjoyed if there is any grammar mistakes or misspellings sorry about that feel free to let me know in the comments, have a great day/afternoon/night!

𝙏𝙖𝙜𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩: @danveration

#lee russell x reader #lee russell x you #lee russell #vice principals #lee russell fic

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billybob598 · 1 year ago

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Well Shit (Lena Oberdorf x Reader)

Hellooo people!!! This was requested by the amazing, lovely, (almost) perfect @wosofanstuff! Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY @ares3460!!!!!!!! I LOVE MY GRANDMA. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this one. As always any feedback good or bad is welcomed! Have fun!

Word Count: 865 (let's ignore this)

Lena observes as you go through finishing drills, dribbling around the cones seamlessly and completing a give-and-go with Lynn flawlessly. To anyone else, it would have looked like Lena was watching you because of your skills. Instead, she was admiring how beautiful you looked, how your hair fell just right over your shoulders, how your eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly in concentration as you controlled the ball, how your legs flexed when you kicked the ball, how the sun shined onto your face making you look ethereal. Yeah, it was fair to say that Lena was whipped. Luckily, you had been dating for a little over three months now. The German midfielder had no idea how she managed to convince you on a date, but by some miracle of God, she did. No one knew that you were together, both of you agreed that it would be too much stress on the relationship if the team knew. You loved them to bits, but sometimes they could be the nosiest people ever.

“Obi?” A voice breaks her out of her trance.

“Huh?” Jule just chuckles at the confused look on the young German’s face.

“I know Y/N is an amazing player but we have to go do media,” she tells her friend.

“Oh, yeah, okay,” Lena’s cheeks heat up at being caught staring at you. Thankfully Jule just thought she was watching because you were good.

Later that night, you’re at your apartment when your phone dings from an incoming text.

Obi💚

Can I come over?

Of course xx

Be there in 5

Sure enough, a knock drew you away from the kitchen five minutes later. When you open the door you’re met with your girlfriend in an oversized hoodie and two cans of Fanta in hand. Fully opening the door so she can walk inside, you watch as she expertly moves around your home, proving how much time she spends there.

“What are you making?” She asks, gesturing to the kitchen.

“Spaghetti. Have you eaten yet?” You say heading back to check on the pasta sauce.

“No.”

“Okay, it should be ready in like five minutes,” you wander back to the living room to see your girlfriend already setting up a movie on Netflix.

The movie plays in the background as you eat your dinner, with light conversation continuing throughout the night. When the movie ends, Lena picks up the dirty dishes and begins to clean the kitchen. You sit on the island watching her. How one person could be so perfect you have no idea.

“You’re staring,” Lena says with a smirk. You roll your eyes, a blush creeping up your neck.

“No, I wasn’t,” you say defensively. Her smirk only gets wider as she raises her eyebrows. God, how you wanted to just kiss the smirk right off her face.

“Sure, schatz.”

“If anyone is staring it’s you,” you say, deciding to turn the tables on her.

“What?” She asks confused.

“I saw you staring at training today, you were practically drooling.” Now it’s Lena’s turn to blush.

“Shut up,” she mutters and throws the towel she was using at you. You laugh, music to her ears. A smile works its way onto her face and she walks around the counter picks you up and gently places you on top of the counter. Considering she’s got a good three inches on you, it’s not that difficult. She steps in between your legs, slowly reaches up and caresses your cheek. Your eyes flicker down to her lips and without hesitation, Lena tilts her head up and presses her lips against yours. One of your hands moves to her hair, running through it. Lena lets out a soft moan. You immediately take advantage and slip your tongue inside. The two tongues fight for dominance while Lena’s hand grips onto your waist. Her other hand finds the small of your back. Your senses are overwhelmed, the feeling of her lips on yours, her hair between your fingers, her hands all over your body, just…her. Then, she removes her mouth from your and starts to plant wet kisses down your neck. They get lower and lower and lower until-

“What the fuck?!” Someone yells, interrupting the makeout session. Both of you jump apart looking very startled. You freeze when you see half of the team standing there watching you with their jaws hanging and eyes comically wide.

“Well shit,” Lena mumbles, pulling away from you a little more. Of course, you had completely forgotten that you had given a spare key to Sveindís. And of course, she chose that night to break in and bring half the team for an impromptu movie night. Everyone was silent for a few more seconds when finally Alex spoke up,

“Are you two like, together?” You glance warily at Obi, she looks at you with a soft smile and slips her hand into yours before answering,

“Yeah, we are.” This opens up the floodgates.

“Oh my God!”

“How long have you been dating?”

“Who asked out who?”

“Who else knows?”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell us.”

“I knew it!”

It’s safe to say that movie night did not happen.

#lena oberdorf x reader #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso fanfics #gerwnt x reader #lena oberdorf #vfl wolfsburg frauen #vfl wolfsburg women #vfl wolfsburg women x reader

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katelynnwrites · 1 year ago

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It’s All My Love (You Got All My Love) | Felicitas Rauch

warnings: major fluff

word count: 2114

summary: felicitas has all your love

a/n: part two of Think I Forgot How To Be Happy, Something I’m Not (But Something I Can Be)

‘Felicitas!’ You manage to greet, before the German player has you wrapped in her arms.

She spins you around and you laugh. The door of her apartment is kicked shut, Felicitas far too occupied with you to close it properly.

‘I missed you.’ Feli mumbles as she sets you down gently.

‘I missed you too.’ You admit and Feli’s eyes light up.

Her hands grab onto yours and she leans down to share a kiss with you.

‘Felicitas.’ You breathe, eagerly chasing after her lips when she pulls away.

‘Feli please.’ You half beg and she obliges.

Two weeks away from her at national camp was far too long and now that she’s here, you can’t get enough of her.

‘I made you dinner.’ Felicitas tells you, in between kisses.

‘It’s gonna get cold.’ She tries.

Switching it up, you become a little firmer with your kisses. Feli groans and lets you.

‘What did you make?’

You keep kissing her and Feli struggles to answer.

‘Your favourite.’ She gasps eventually.

‘You’re too good to me.’ You confess and Felicitas shakes her head.

‘No…I promise you, you deserve to be happy. I’m just lucky that you’ve found it with me.’

‘Believe me, I’m the lucky one.’ You answer and Feli simply pulls you back into her arms.

******

Felicitas hands you one of her earbuds and you hand her Cinnamon’s leash.

‘Come here Cinny.’ Feli says and then grins as her poodle runs up to her.

Cinnamon stays still long enough for Feli to clip her leash on and then she’s jumping around, excitedly waiting for her walk.

You laugh and open the German player’s apartment door, making your way outside. Feli passes you her poodle’s leash so that she can lock her door.

It’s a little cold so you tuck your hands into the pockets of Feli’s hoodie.

Initially, Feli had lent it to you, with every intention of getting it back but now she’s learnt that she likes you in her clothes and you’ve learnt that you like wearing her clothes. Feli smells so good and her clothes smell just like her.

Cinnamon barks impatiently and Felicitas laughs.

‘Okay okay I’m hurrying.’

Feli finishes locking her apartment door, hits the play button on her music and then takes your hand in hers.

You grin at her choice of music and Felicitas simply shrugs, kissing your cheek lightly before letting you and Cinnamon lead the way.

******

Feli sighs happily as your fingers comb through her hair.

You massage her scalp lightly and Feli leans back, letting the back of her head rest against your legs.

Running your fingers through her hair again, you begin braiding it. Felicitas starts to doze off and you’re just finishing the braid when Jule and Lena come barging into the rec room.

Feli jumps at the loud noise, eyes flying open in panic.

You laugh, pulling her up, off the floor and beside you on the couch.

‘Go back to sleep Felicitas. It’s just Lena and Jule.’

The German player mumbles indistinctly, pushing her face into your shoulder.

Stroking her hair gently, you let her fall back asleep. It takes some skillful maneuvering on your part to get her laying down without waking her, with her head in your lap but you succeed.

You keep up your ministrations, even as more of your teammates file into the room.

Felicitas sleeps soundly through several rounds of card games and the resulting disagreements. Nothing is too trivial for professional athletes to be competitive about.

Lena, Jill and Lynn seem to subscribe to the above sentiment, their playful argument growing in volume.

Still, Feli continues to sleep. Her chest is rising and falling with even breaths when Sveindís sits down beside you.

The young Icelandic player glances at Feli for a moment before saying, ‘I’ve never seen your girlfriend with a braid before.’

You softly answer, ‘She’s not my girlfriend.’

‘And you’ve never seen her in a braid before because she doesn’t know how to braid her own hair.’ You add lightheartedly.

‘Oh. It’s just that you both seem so close.’

‘You mean you’ve seen us kiss.’

Sveindís flushes with embarrassment, ducking her head and looking away.

You chuckle, understanding her confusion, ‘It’s okay. We aren’t officially dating but I know what I mean to her and she knows what she means to me. I think that’s enough right now.’

******

‘Dinner at my place tomorrow?’ Feli asks, smiling when you agree.

It wasn’t like she expected you to say otherwise. It is routine now, for you to come straight from the airport, to her apartment after international breaks.

‘I miss you Felicitas. See you soon.’

‘Miss you more. Have a safe flight.’ Feli tenderly says before blowing you a kiss and ending the video call.

Kathy snorts. Her roommate had been calling you every night of the international break and she thinks that she’s never seen Feli so soft. Not even with Cinnamon who Feli had once swore was the love of her life.

‘When are you going to actually ask her to be your girlfriend?’ She asks.

‘She knows that I’m hers and I know that she’s mine. Isn’t that enough?’

‘Feli…’

Felicitas sighs and then admits, ‘I don't want to push her. She’s still healing and I’m willing to wait until she’s ready. For now, I don’t need a label on what we are.’

******

‘Hey you.’ Felicitas drops a kiss onto the top of your head.

‘Hi.’ You grin.

Feli lightly tugs on the Germany hoodie you are wearing.

‘You look good in my clothes babe.’

Your heart flutters but you don’t know if it’s because of the way she’s looking at you or the pet name.

Your cheeks turn red and Feli hums, ‘Can you paint my nails for me please?’

‘Of course.’

Felicitas hands you her box of nail polish bottles and you ask, ‘What colour are you wanting?’

Feli hums again, ‘It’s up to you.’

That’s how you end up sprawled on Feli’s bed, Cinnamon beside you as you blow on her freshly painted nails, to dry them more quickly.

‘They’re pretty. Really subtle.’ Feli laughs, looking at the rainbow nails you had painted for her.

Each of her nails are a different colour and you had left kisses on the tips of her fingers in between your painting.

Giggling, you admit, ‘I couldn’t help myself.’

The German player chuckles, admiring her nails before glancing at you.

‘Do you think they’re dry yet?’

‘I think so.’

Touching her nails lightly, you give her a smile when you realise that they are in fact, dry.

‘Good. Because I really want to kiss you now.’

‘Okay.’ You whisper and Felicitas takes this as the go ahead to slide her fingers into your hair as she brings her lips down to meet yours.

******

Wolfsburg wins the league.

And Feli chases you around the confetti strewn pitch with a bottle of champagne.

‘Feli.’ You breathe, when she finally catches you, drenching you in alcohol as she tumbles down on top of you. You’re flat on your back, Felicitas trapping you beneath her.

She supports herself with one hand, making sure she doesn’t put too much of her body weight on you.

The empty bottle of champagne is left forgotten and Feli’s breathing is a little heavy but she carefully pushes sweaty strands of your hair out of your face with her free hand.

‘Felicitas.’ You murmur and she nods, understanding the intensity of the emotions in your eyes.

She can hear your breathing catch and knows that your heart is pounding in your chest.

‘Not here. I promise you that we’ll have time later.’

******

Later as it turns out, is back in your apartment, one of the few times that Feli’s ever been there.

She doesn’t care about that now though, too busy slipping her hands under your shirt.

‘If anything gets to be too much, you tell me okay? I’ll stop.’

Feli’s fingers reach the band of your bra and you shake your head.

‘I need you to verbalise this for me liebling.’

Felicitas emphasises her words by keeping her previously wandering hands still. The feel of her warm hands on your bare skin is driving you crazy.

‘Don’t stop. Feli don’t stop.’

The desperation in your voice is clear but Feli waits for you to say what she’s been waiting for.

‘I swear I’ll tell you if I need you to stop.’ You promise and Felicitas decides that’s good enough for her.

Your shirt ends up on the floor, next to hers and you never have to ask her to stop.

******

You wake up in an empty bed but one with warm sheets so you know that Feli hasn’t left you alone for long.

Anxiously, you pad out into the rest of your apartment, looking for the German.

You find her in the kitchen.

‘I didn't think you’d be up yet.’ She sheepishly murmurs when she sees you.

‘You’re here.’ You whisper, rubbing your eyes to make sure you’re not seeing things.

‘Of course I am. I would never leave you.’ Feli assures you.

Walking up to her, you wrap your arms around her waist and rest your head against her chest.

Felicitas brushes a kiss onto your hairline in response.

‘I meant to make you a coffee.’

You pull back just enough to look her in the eye.

There’s nothing but warmth and affection in her gaze but you still say, ‘Don’t do that again.’

‘I’m sorry.’ Feli blinks, meaning to take a step back but you refuse to let her, tightening your arms around her waist.

‘I want to wake up with you beside me next time.’

‘Next time?’ She asks, in a mixture of joy and confusion.

‘Always Feli. You’re great in bed but I think you’ll make a brilliant pillow and big spoon too.’

The German player blushes and you laugh before ceasing your teasing.

The next few words you say are quiet and shy.

‘Felicitas I’d like to be your girlfriend. If you’ll have me? I'm ready now.’

Feli kisses you with all the emotion she has in answer.

‘I'd love that.’ She breathes before kissing you once more.

******

Feli teaches you to surf.

Unlike her, you’re not a natural at it but eventually you do manage to catch a wave.

Watching Feli cheer you on, with the sun and complete joy on her face, you know that you’ve fallen for her.

As you sit on the beach with her after, watching the sun set, you lean into her arms.

‘Thank you.’ You whisper.

‘For what?’ She asks, amusement clear in her eyes.

‘Everything.’

Felicitas’ only answer is to pull you even closer and place a kiss onto the top of your head.

******

‘She loves you.’ Feli softly tells you as she watches you play with Cinnamon, on the floor of her living room. The brown poodle licks your hand, as if trying to tell you that she agrees with her owner.

You look up and smile at her.

Feli smiles back and then says a sentence that changes your world.

‘I love you too.’

‘Felicitas.’ You breathe and she takes your hands in hers.

‘You don’t have to say it back yet, or ever. It's okay. I love how we are and I'm perfectly alright if it stays this way.’

‘Felicitas, I'm in love with you.’

‘You a-are?’ She stammers.

‘I am. I love you Feli.’

‘T-That’s so good.’ Felicitas chokes out and she’s just so emotional that you laugh, hugging her tightly.

Feli wraps her arms around you in response, burying her head in your shoulder.

‘Feli are you crying?’ You ask, as you feel your shirt beginning to get wet.

‘No…maybe…they’re happy tears.’

‘Okay.’ You giggle, rubbing her back lightly.

Cinny is pawing at you and you tell the small dog, ‘I think I broke your mom.’

Felicitas laughs, her voice muffled when she says, ‘Did not.’

‘Whatever you say Feli, whatever you say.’

Feli takes a few more moments to herself before she looks back up.

Her eyes are a little red and you carefully brush away the remnants of tears on her cheeks.

‘I love you Feli, I’m sorry that I made you cry.’

Your girlfriend shakes her head, a smile on her face as she answers, ‘Don’t be sorry. Like I said, they’re happy tears.’

Gently, she places a kiss on your forehead, your nose, both of your cheeks and then on the corner of your mouth.

‘I love you.’ She says seriously before finally giving you a proper kiss, one with an intensity that lets you know that she means it and that she is your forever.

German Translation:

liebling - love

#feli rauch #felicitas rauch #gerwnt x reader #gerwnt imagine #dfb frauen x reader #dfb frauen imagine #vfl wolfsburg frauen x reader #vfl wolfsburg frauen imagine #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso imagines #feli rauch x reader #felicitas rauch imagine #feli rauch imagine #felicitas rauch x reader #katelynnwrites #uswnt x reader #uswnt imagine #woso

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ptn-imagines · 2 months ago

Note

Can I get headcanons of Raven,Zoya and Hella(platonic) reacting to fem cheif acting nochalant to Hella calling her mom

(coughs) I'm alive! Here's your request and thank you for your patience.

Raven, Zoya and Hella reacting to f!Chief reacting nonchalantly to being called “mom” by Hella

Raven

Honestly? Raven’s first reaction is to laugh. Really, really hard. It’s funny to her.

When her giggles fade away, though, she’s all smiles and sparkles, as Raven tends to be.

“Aw, isn’t that adorable, Chief? Looks like you’ve got a chick all of your own, now!” She will keep making comments like this, and god knows that neither Chief nor Hella will be able to stop her.

As something of a mom herself, not to mention a teacher, Raven likes to give Chief “parenting tips” from then on out. Some of them are a little silly. Some are things that Chief already knew. And other things are complete godsends that Chief has no idea what she’d do without.

Also, if she wasn’t inspired to write parenting help books before, she is now. As with most of Raven’s self-published textbooks, they fall into the category of “surprisingly useful but lacking in professionalism.” Still, Raven’s advice certainly won’t hurt a child… but Chief nevertheless figures it’s best not to mention how helpful the book actually is.

Raven also definitely drags Chief into chats about their kids. She’s a proud mama bird and will brag about Crache and her achievements until the cows come home. Naturally, she’s also incredibly supportive and proud of Hella, too – she’s her teacher, after all!

She will also absolutely prod Chief into accepting the title of “mother” to other kids in the Bureau. Hecate, Oliver, Dolly, OwO, Yanyan, Lynn, you name it and she’s already assigned the role of “Chief’s kid” to them. Good thing Chief had pretty much already accepted that role!

She also makes jokes that Chief can be Crache’s stepmom from time to time. Crache hates it. Raven’s kids, when they find out, won’t shut up about it. It definitely fuels the Raven x Chief gossip train that’s going on in her class.

Zoya

After the shock fades, the first thing Zoya feels is… warmth. She feels warm and fuzzy inside.

At first she has absolutely no idea why she’s feeling like this, and it baffles her. Okay, Chief didn’t care that Hella called her mom, that’s cool, why is it making her feel all weird inside?

It takes a few days for it to click with Zoya that what she’s feeling is affection. Seeing the Chief be accepted into a maternal role, caring for a young Sinner, made Zoya feel affectionate towards her.

Okay, great, she figured out what the weird feeling was, but Zoya still doesn’t understand the why. She thinks to her own life as a point of reference. Sure, Horo looks up to her as a role model, but Zoya always saw herself as a big sister/mentor figure to her, not so much a mother.

The answer, when it finally comes to her after another few days of dwelling on it, hits her like a bolt of lightning. It completely freezes her in her tracks as she tries to process the realization she just had: she felt affection because the Chief behaving motherly towards Hella? She found it cute.

Frankly, this realization opens a whole can of worms that Zoya is not emotionally equipped to face right now, so she seals that can right back up. But some things can never be fully repaired to the way they once were, and well, Zoya tries to comfort herself by thinking that surely she isn’t the only person who thinks of the Chief in such a manner. Surely.

Hella

Hella is, in a word, mortified. It was embarrassing enough that she’d accidentally called Chief mom, and it was even more embarrassing that Chief had accepted it so easily!

She still tries to play it off as an accident or a joke, though. She would rather the ground open up and swallow her than be seen as Chief’s daughter for real! Besides, she’s a proud, independent Syndican who relies on herself. She doesn’t need a mother!

…And yet… there is that tiny part of her, that part of her that made the slip-up in the first place. The part that she hates. That part of her that is still a terrified little girl, who wants nothing more than the comfort of a maternal figure. No matter what Hella tries, she can’t fully deny that that part of her exists.

…but Ninety-Nine is the only family she needs, so the idea that Chief is a mother to her is ridiculous, and anyone who ever believed that crap is stupid!

But… the slip-ups happen more and more often, and each time, Chief takes it in stride. Every time, it makes Hella burn with embarrassment, but as time goes on, she begins to realize that… hey, this isn’t so bad.

Of course, she still has her pride. She’ll never openly admit to see the Chief as a mother in a public setting. But in private… Well, maybe then it’s okay to willingly call the Chief “mom,” and to cling to her for comfort after a nightmare and to otherwise be vulnerable around her.

Of course, she still makes sure that Chief knows that if she leaks a word of this to anyone, she’ll bash her stupid skull in! (The whole Bureau knows anyway, but not because of Chief, and they’ll feign innocent for the sake of keeping her skull whole and un-smashed.)

#ptn #path to nowhere #path to nowhere headcanons #ptn headcanons #headcanons #raven #path to nowhere raven #ptn raven #zoya #path to nowhere zoya #ptn zoya #hella #path to nowhere hella #ptn hella

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bottlesofrouge · 8 months ago

Text

on one condition.

harry styles x original character

part five.

word count: 12.6K

warnings: talks of a past physically abusive relationship, smut (finaalllyyy!!!), nsfr!

27 JULY 2018

harry wakes up to lynn sitting on the arm of the couch. her fingers dance along his arm as his name falls from her lips in quiet whispers. it’s still dark outside, and he rubs the sleep out of his eyes, struggling to remember just exactly where he is.

silas and lynn had gone into the bedroom shortly after dinner. he wasn’t really sure why he was expecting silas to take the couch, but when the click of the lock echoed through the quiet condo, harry knew that he was stuck with the short end of the stick.

there were no goodnights said and no sleepy smiles from lynn. harry sat in the dark for what felt like hours, listening to the muffled laughter coming from behind the bedroom door while he tried to swallow down the ugly, burning jealousy that came bubbling up in his throat.

“harry,” she whispers again. her touch moves from his arms to his hair. “are you awake?”

“yeah,” he hums. “what’s going on? are you okay?”

“i can’t fall asleep,” she says. “not when i don’t know if you’re alright.”

“why wouldn’t i be alright?” he can barely make out anything in the dark. the only source of light was the dim glow of the moon coming in through an uncovered window. it doesn’t do much, but it illuminates her face enough for him to see the way it’s etched with worry.

“the same reason i can’t sleep unless all of the doors are locked,” she doesn’t elaborate any further, and harry’s not really sure what she means by that. “i’m sorry for waking you. couldn’t tell if you were breathing.”

“do you wanna lay out here with me?” she only blinks at him. “you don’t have to, but i think you’d be able to feel if i was breathing or not.”

“are you sure?”

“c’mere,” he presses himself further into the couch, and lifts the blanket for her to slide under. harry’s shocked a little when she actually does.

it’s uncomfortable at first. he lays there like a board, arms straight down at his sides until lynn reaches behind for his hand. he thinks she’s giving him the key to the front door, but instead she presses his palm to her stomach just like he had done the night before.

it really was a complete accident. harry was so embarrassed to open his eyes and find himself wrapped around her the way he was. lynn was still sleeping when he woke up. she never mentioned it, and he had hoped that maybe she never noticed. he could not have been more wrong.

she doesn’t say anything when she does it, so instead of overthinking the situation and letting it keep him up until the sun rises, he leans into it. harry molds his body to lynn’s, letting his fingers stretch across her tummy just like she wanted them to. their legs are crossed at the ankles, and harry can’t help it when he lets his lips press right where her neck meets her shoulder. he half expects her to push him away, but she only sighs, falling asleep mere seconds later.

✮✮✮

“good morning, cuddle bugs,” harry doesn’t wake up again until silas is practically whisper singing right into his ear. the man’s standing over the two of them, a mug of coffee in each hand and a wide grin on his face.

when harry blinks enough to get the sleep out of his eyes, he sees that lynn’s got her cheek squished against his chest and her arm thrown around his torso. both of her legs are in between his and she had stolen their previously shared blanket and selfishly wrapped herself up in it. “were my cuddles not good enough for you, lynn?”

“oh my god, shut up, silas,” lynn groans, letting herself lean into harry even more. “and close the curtains while you’re up. m’so tired.”

silas does as he’s told before coming back over to harry to hand him one of the mugs he was holding. he sits down in the recliner next to them without saying a word, and turns on some local news station for the two to watch.

the volume’s on low, and silas is too focused on whatever stories that are running that he doesn’t try to engage in any conversation. he is so incredibly thankful for it, too. he wasn’t exactly sure what the other had to say about walking out of the bedroom to find his best friend wrapped around him. he wasn’t sure what lynn has told silas about them, but she surely had to have mentioned the fact that he has been treating her so terribly for the last two months.

harry’s free hand absentmindedly travels to lynn’s hair, fingers gently scratching her scalp as quiet, appreciative hums leave her mouth. he can’t really tell if she’s just in and out of sleep or if she’s fully awake, but he doesn’t care as long as he got lynn like this. he’d be stupid not to wrap himself up in everything that she was willing to give him. after all, it’d all go away as soon as they got back to new york.

part of him couldn’t wait to get home, even though he knew that going home meant he would have to face his parents. he also knew that it meant he would be getting back to his new routine. ever since he stopped sharing his days with an entire bottle of hard liquor, waking up has never felt so good.

he was productive. incredibly productive, actually. during the first week, he got around to turning his office into a small art studio. harry had purchased easels and canvases and nearly an entire display of oil paints. of course he put the transactions on john’s credit card. he thought of it as reparations for his shitty childhood, but if his dad asked, he would say it was a parting gift for his frat.

the other part of him wanted to be anywhere but home because home meant no more waking up to lynn and no more soft kisses and warm touches. home meant morning coffee alone and silence so loud that if he closed his eyes hard enough, he would swear he could hear it screaming.

you’re alone. you’re alone. you’re alone. you’re alone.

and honestly, the first few days wouldn’t be too bad. harry thinks he’d use the time to clear his head. the forced proximity had him thinking (and feeling) so many confusing things when it came to lynn. he knew that once they were apart for a little while, they’d all go away. maybe the two would even go back to hating each other.

they’d see each other once a week, maybe twice if they were feeling crazy, and harry would only be brutally reminded of just how alone he actually was. the words would echo in his head like they always did. just like the ticking of a clock.

you’re alone. you’re alone. you’re alone. you’re alone.

maybe it’s his fault for giving himself away so easily. there are so many people who know absolutely nothing about him except for what gets him going in bed, and normally, that fact didn’t bother him one bit. he likes feeling good and making other people feel good, and he loves the fact that he can participate in both of those activities with no strings attached.

however, on the rare days like today, the mere thought of it makes harry want to scratch the skin off his body and start fresh. he wants to be someone new. someone who is loved, and someone that people actually want to know.

and really, that’s where this whole thing stems from. the constant craving for something that is so unattainable for him. he just wants to be known.

harry itches for the day that someone knows just how much he loves ballet and theater. they’ll know he spent the first three years of high school dedicating his life to the drama club, spending afternoon after afternoon designing and painting sets. those long afternoons would soon turn into rehearsing lines in the passenger seat of oliver’s car, nothing but a flashlight on one of their phones illuminating the words on their scripts.

they’ll know he stopped because of how his dad felt about it. they’ll learn all about his senior year football stint, and maybe he’d also be inclined to tell them that he did it just to please him, but even then, john never went to a single game.

“harry,” silas’s leaning forward to nudge harry with his hand. “did you hear me?”

“no,” he admits. “what did you say?”

“i asked if you were hungry. we’re supposed to meet everyone for breakfast in ten.”

“i’m okay,” harry hums. his eyes fall to lynn who’s now created a small wet spot on his shirt with her drool. “you go. she’s been having a hard time sleeping.”

“she has for years,” silas responds. harry isn’t sure if he’s just stating a fact or if he’s trying to make sure he’s aware that he knows lynn in ways that harry never will. “i’ve never seen her out like this though. it’s weird.”

when silas decides to take harry up on his offer, he stands up, stretches, and then puts his shoes on before walking out of the door. it slams a little bit behind him, and lynn jolts at the sound. her head flies up, and she’s looking at harry with wide eyes and parted lips.

“just silas, honey,” his knuckles drag across the highest point of her cheek. “you can go back to sleep for a bit.”

✮✮✮

silas: it’s amelia day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

silas: you better be awake when i get back

silas: first round is on you btw consider it your apology for having to look at you and harry all morning #YUCK

lynn shuts her phone off and peers up at harry to make sure he wasn’t reading over her shoulder. (that would be so humiliating.) she finds him fast asleep underneath her. his head is tilted back, resting on a pillow that was propped up on the arm of the couch. his lips are parted, and she thinks that if she’s quiet enough she could hear tiny snores fall from them. god, he is so cute.

“harry,” she gently shakes him, and when he opens his eyes and blinks a few long blinks like he’s trying to gather his surroundings, she can’t help but laugh. “good morning, sunshine.”

“what time is it?” he rasps out around a yawn.

“nearly noon.” lynn sits up so harry can stretch and sit up properly. “it’s amelia day, so we have to leave soon. get ready, and i’ll make you something to eat. my treat for sharing this uncomfortable thing with me all night.”

lynn only makes them a plate of leftovers that consists of stuff she found in various take out boxes in the refrigerator. it wasn’t anything crazy; yet, it takes nearly fifteen minutes before she has it all set out on the breakfast bar. she shouldn't be blamed though. it’s not her fault that she couldn’t stop thinking about last night.

it wasn’t until silas was knocked out next to her that she realized harry was out in the living room all alone. she didn’t mean to exclude him. it kind of just happened, and she felt so guilty for it. she couldn’t stop wondering just how upset harry would be with her in the morning, and soon after, all of the overthinking turned into wondering if harry was okay.

honestly, she knew deep down there was no reason for him not to be, but that didn’t stop her from going out and checking. that’s all she meant to do, really. she planned on making sure he was alive and well and then she would climb back into bed with silas, but when he made room for her on the couch, lynn couldn’t say no.

she missed sleeping next to him.

it was stupid. they had only been on good terms for a few days, but lynn couldn’t imagine ever falling asleep without him pressed against her again. she thought that maybe it was just the simple fact that she was next to someone that had her sleeping so well, but no. it was harry.

silas has probably spent hundreds of hours helping her fall asleep. nearly every time he’s in town, he sits next to her in bed and runs his fingers through her hair until she’s napping. lynn really did appreciate it so much. she knew she would never get those precious naps in without him, but that was just it. they were always a quick little nap, never lasting more than an hour.

with harry, it was so different. all he had to do was be in the same room as her and she’d be out for hours. it was silly, and all in her mind. of course she knew that, it’s just… she doesn’t really want it to end.

harry doesn’t talk until the two of them are sharing an uber to the town square. he’s exhausted. lynn knows that, and she feels so shitty for having him take the couch. he was doing her a favor being there. the least she could do was give him the bed.

“it’s amelia’s birthday?” his voice is quiet when he asks, like the uber driver hearing would give away the faux relationship.

“no,” she laughs a little, not because of him, but because of what amelia day actually is. “silas pays amelia to watch jane while the adults go out for a few drinks.”

“is it the same day every year?”

lynn shakes her head, “just whenever silas feels like it. it’s usually just the two of us, and he convinces her when he thinks i’ve burnt myself out watching them.”

harry only hums and looks out the window.

lynn sits at the bar, nursing her third dirty martini as she watches silas and harry play a game of darts. silas was honestly great at the game. never once has he let lynn win. however, when harry threw his first dart, she realized that today might be the day her dreams of silas losing come true.

she’s been dreaming of the day ever since she had played against silas for the first time at a bar in her college town. he was visiting her for spring break. nearly the entire school had gone further south to a beach, so they pretty much had the bar to themselves. they played forty seven games that week, and lynn had only been close to winning once.

so, she offers to buy harry a shot if he wins, and when he says he’d rather have a kiss, she says he can have that, too.

she watches as harry goes to throw his dart. he closes one of his eyes and the tip of his tongue sticks out a little at the corner of his mouth every time he brings his hand up to aim. normally, she would’ve poked a little fun because he looked crazy, but she was a couple drinks in and she couldn’t help but find everything harry did to be at least a little bit attractive.

harry throws the winning dart, and lynn already has a shot of don julio waiting for him. she holds the little glass in between her fingers and the lime wedge in between her lips as she moves over to the two guys. a little pool of anxiety fills her stomach when she thinks about what exactly she’s doing. the lime placement seemed like a good idea after she had finished her third drink, but when she sees silas’s face, she thinks that maybe she was wrong.

the worry is only there for a second because harry tips the shot back, and then presses his mouth to hers and takes the wedge in between his teeth. the whole thing has her skin burning all the way from her toes up to her ears, but she doesn’t have time to be embarrassed about it because as soon as he’s done, he’s kissing her.

their kisses are messy and wet, and lynn can taste the lime sitting on his lips and the tequila coating his mouth. his mouth is practically devouring hers in a way that has her chest aching and her fingertips tingling. there’s no way that the vodka and olive juice she had been drinking tasted as good as he’s making it seem.

harry pulls away when silas clears his throat and lynn can’t even work up enough nerve to look over at him. the blush on her cheeks. her heart skipping beats in her chest. the way she feels so giddy. god, it was like she was a teenager again.

“i think we should get another drink before we head back,” silas breaks the silence first.

harry agrees and the two of them follow silas over to the bar. harry’s got his arm around lynn’s back, and his hand rests on her waist. he orders his drink and her dirty martini while she pretends not to feel the way his thumb is sliding against the small sliver of skin poking out between her top and skirt.

lynn sits on a bar stool next to kathleen when her fourth dirty martini is placed in front of her. harry keeps his arm draped around the back of her chair, chatting to silas about their last game. silas claims harry cheated, but harry insists that silas is just a sore loser.

“are you three enjoying your vacation,” lynn hears her dad’s voice from down the bar, and makes no move to respond. instead, she brings her glass up to her lips and takes a big sip.

“i am,” harry turns his attention to the older man, offering him a small smile. “thank you for having me. i really appreciate it.”

“it’s the least i can do since you’ve been putting up with my daughter. she can be a lot to handle sometimes.”

her dad laughs, and lynn can’t help the rage that’s bubbling up in her chest. putting up with my daughter? how would he know what putting up with lynn was like? peter was only around for half of her life, and even then, they’ve only shared a few hundred words with each other, if that. the man barely fucking knew her.

“it’s quite the opposite,” she feels harry moving his hand from the chair to wrap around her shoulder and pull her into his chest. “really, lynn puts up with me.”

“good to know, but i was referring to jane,” he brings his bottle to his lips. “she has so much energy, and at my age…”

lynn doesn’t really care what else her father has to say, so she turns her attention to the bartender and orders herself one more. it would probably end up being a mistake because she could already feel her head going all fuzzy. (and that was obvious a drink ago when she made out with harry in the back corner of the bar.) but, she felt like she needed it in order to stomach being around her parents for a second longer.

“you’re sure you need another?” kathleen’s speaking to her. “don’t want to have a repeat of the last time where you didn’t even make it to dinner.”

lynn decides to pretend like she didn’t hear, and insteads thanks the bartender when he slides the glass in front of her. she didn’t come to dinner the night her mother is referring to because of something more than a little too much to drink, and she thinks that if she lets herself think about it for a minute longer, she’d start crying so hard that she might end up coughing up a lung.

aunt cecilia moves from the other side of her father to sit next to silas. she strikes up a conversation with the two boys, and lynn can’t make the buzzing in her brain quiet down enough to focus on what they’re saying. it is so unfair that being around her mother has the ability to ruin what was supposed to be a fun day with her friends.

lynn gets why silas invited her parents. really, she does. just because they treated her so poorly, doesn’t mean they treated everyone else the same. that was obvious when silas came home from his freshman year of college to all of his stuff sitting on the front lawn of his parents’ house. peter and kathy had moved every discarded item of his into the guest room within the day, and silas claimed it as his own until he moved out for good two years later.

“y’alright, honey?” harry’s voice is so low and breathy. it tickles her ear enough to make her laugh, and he offers her a warm smile at the sound. “there we go.”

his lips tenderly press against her forehead and then he’s leaning back to look at her, worry deep in his eyes. she loves when harry’s soft like this, even if she can see silas rolling his eyes at the two of them in her peripheral.

“i miss your last boyfriend,” lynn’s brought out of her trance by kathleen’s voice. “he never touched you like this in front of us. it’s just disrespectful.”

lynn thinks that she’s misheard her mom at first, but when harry’s hands fall from her, she knows he’s heard it, too. silas and aunt cece are deep in conversation, missing what kathleen had just said, and harry’s looking at her with a frown on his lips. his eyes are pleading with hers, like he’s trying to apologize for something that isn’t even his fault.

“i’m sorry, ms. kathy. i didn’t eve-”

“yeah, well,” lynn clears her throat. “jaxson used to hit me when we weren’t in front of you guys.”

“what?”

she knows that she shouldn’t have said it, especially not here. lynn’s just so upset and angry and sad, and all she wanted to do was make kathleen feel the way she has been making her feel since the day she was born. like a complete and utter failure.

“i couldn’t make it to dinner last time because my mouth was bleeding so bad,” her voice is quiet, yet her confession draws the attention from the rest of the group. “not because of one too many drinks.”

it was definitely the five dirty martinis that had her spilling the secret she’s held on to the tightest, but it’s out now and so were the tears that came flooding from her eyes.

“why didn’t you tell us?” her mom has tears of her own on her cheeks, and it only makes lynn roll her eyes. kathleen never really cared about her, and she wasn’t about to start letting her now.

“don’t you see how you treat me? of course i didn’t come to you. nothing i ever do is worth a second of your time,” lynn feels so incredibly vulnerable as she speaks. she half expects kathleen to tell her to grow up, and the other half expects her to get on her hands and knees and apologize profusely for being such a shit mother.

she does neither. instead her eyes fall on silas and aunt cece, a look of realization spreading across her face. “you two knew.”

when lynn showed up on her aunts’ doorstep after a particularly rough fight with her ex, aunt cece helped put her back together again and let her move in for a few months. they hid it from peter and kathleen, per lynn’s request, and when jane was born, she went home. the three of them never really spoke about it, but lynn thinks she wouldn’t be standing here right now if it wasn’t for aunt cece and aunt rosie.

“this is exactly what i fucking mean,” she stands up from her stool, using harry to steady herself, and then she begs him to please, please take her back to the condo.

and he does. harry doesn’t say anything the entire uber ride back. instead, he holds her hand in his lap and wipes under her nose with the sleeve of his shirt when he’s had enough of her loud sniffing.

“i could’ve found a tissue,” her voice is so scratchy it hurts when she speaks.

“but you didn’t,” harry counters. “‘was kind of grossing me out if i’m being honest.”

“heeeeey,” her hands gently shove his shoulders as she laughs under her breath. it’s quiet for a second, and she can’t seem to tear her eyes away from his. it’s like she can feel the pity from his eyes seeping into her own, and it makes her a little sad. “please don’t look at me like that.”

harry looks away and clears his throat, and lynn feels so incredibly guilty for even saying anything, “i don’t like when people pity me. i didn’t mean…”

“i know you didn’t mean to tell me, but knowing now helps me understand you better.” he’s running his forefinger along the creases in her palm. “and i don’t mean to make you feel like i pity you. i just… you didn’t deserve to go through that.”

“okay,” she offers him a warm smile. “i was going to tell you, but i was nervous that i’d scare you away.”

“you could never scare me away.”

“why’s that? am i your only friend?” lynn only means it in a teasing way, but the way harry’s smile drops says that she’s hit the nail on the head.

“yeah,” his face draws together when he speaks. “um, i don’t know. there’s not really anyone besides you. sorry if that’s weird or makes you uncomfortable. i’m not the best at making friends.”

“s’not weird. i was only joking, harry. i didn’t mean-”

“you don’t have to apologize,” his eyes fall to his lap, and then he looks back up to her. “that’s not why you can’t scare me away. i just… i like having you around, lynn. i don’t want that to change once we go home.”

his words make her cheeks warm, “it won’t. i like having you around, too.” and when that doesn’t feel like enough, “i’m really glad you came, harry.”

29 JULY 2018

when harry wakes up, the bed is empty and the condo is quiet. there’s no echoes of an overworked coffee pot and no hushed whispers bouncing off the walls. his phone reads 11:53am, and there is nothing but a singular text from lynn sitting in his notification center.

getting breakfast with si & then going to the beach. join us when you’re awake :)

harry gets out of bed and heads for the shower to wash the sleep off of his face (and also the sweat off of his body). he’s spent the last two nights wrapped up with lynn in the bed while silas took the couch. the girl loved her blankets, and being next to her sometimes made him feel like he was next to a furnace.

he decides against joining the two when he’s on his second lather of shampoo. after lynn had talked about her last relationship at the bar, the three have practically been conjoined at the hip doing pretty much everything together. even at the family dinners, they sat at the end of the table next to jane and amelia to keep kathleen, or anyone else, from bringing it up.

as soon as harry heard what lynn said, he wanted to throw up. he felt sick the entire uber drive back, and even worse when they sat on the couch next to one another and she told him about the time she had brought him here. lynn was so incredibly kind, and the thought of anyone hurting her was just so devastating.

but, he did as she asked, and tried acting like looking at her didn’t make his chest feel like it was caving in. (because it did.) instead, he offered her kisses and soft touches every time the thoughts got to be a little too much. lynn deserved to feel loved and appreciated, and he was going to make sure she never forgot that.

harry: i think i’ll spend some time with your sisters. have fun with silas

her response comes through almost immediately.

lynn: they’d loooove that!!! couldn’t stop talking about you at breakfast

lynn: i’ll miss you today :(

the grin that spreads across harry’s face when he reads the message is embarrassing. he never really understood what people meant when they said ‘giggling and kicking my feet’, but when he catches his reflection in the mirror, he gets it.

jane and amelia are waiting for him on the front porch of their condo, and as soon as he’s in sight, the little girl runs to him like she’s an olympian sprinter. she giggles as she does, and harry soaks up every last one because he knows there will be a time when he is nothing but a distant memory for her.

the three of them walk to an ice cream parlor that harry has been dying to go to since the first day they arrived. the outside was painted a bright pink and had mismatched patio furniture sitting out in front of it. he always found these ice cream shops to be the best, and preferred them over the lousy chains.

harry orders his usual mint chip and jane her chocolate chip, and then he tells amelia to get whatever she wants. it was his treat today, even though the two girls were the ones to bring up the idea to go. the older sister decides on a plain strawberry shake, and once it’s all paid, they sit at one of the tables outside.

“don’t forget your napkin,” he reminds jane. “i don’t want to return you all covered in sugar.”

the little girl laughs, and wipes awaythe river of melted vanilla ice cream flowing down her chin, “s’okay. mom says it’s bath night anyway.”

harry listens as jane then goes into a play by play of her day. if one singular detail was wrong, she’d have to pause, reset the scene, and then she could continue. it starts with her saying she chose a red shirt to wear, but actually it was more orange now that she’s thinking about it. then, it’s what she ate for breakfast. jane realizes midway through that she had actually eaten four apple slices instead of the five she said previously because silas had taken one from her plate. the whole thing is painful, but harry sits through every second of it with a smile on his face.

“you alright, amelia?” harry asks once jane has quieted down and turned her attention back to her ice cream. “you’ve been quiet.”

“does lynn ever talk about her last boyfriend?"

he swallows. "yeah. she talks about him sometimes. why?”

“he was mean to me,” amelia states. “and i thought you’d be the same.”

“melia, i would never-”

“i know. i know,” amelia’s quick to cut him off. “that was obvious when jane hit you with that ball.”

jane’s shoulders drop at her sister’s words, “i’m still very sorry, harry.”

“i know you are, janey,” his hand squeezes her little arm from across the table. “i already told you to stop worrying about.”

“i feel bad for being so rude to you,” amelia admits. “and for trying to get lynn to break up with you.”

“you what?”

“i’m sorry. i didn’t-” the girl’s stumbling over her words like she can’t get them out fast enough when harry interrupts her with a laugh. really, he doesn’t mean to, but the thought of amelia trying to end a relationship that wasn’t even real to begin had him giggling.

"no need to be sorry," he says. "if i saw my sister in a bad relationship, i'd probably act the exact same. probably even worse if i’m being honest.”

“a man who grew up with girls,” amelia nods her head slowly before sitting back in her chair with her arms crossed. “makes sense.”

“now, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“it’s a compliment! ugh, you’re so old.”

harry laughs at the girls in front of him, a feeling of genuine happiness washing over him. maybe he was planning too far ahead, but he can't help but think that he actually does want to be a dad.

“hurry up and finish your ice cream,” he says. “i think there’s a souvenir shop we can go to just a few stores up the street.”

the three don’t end up going back until dinner time. the two girls walk in front of him, each swinging their shopping bags at each other for no other reason than to be annoying. he didn’t really mean to spend a hundred dollars on the two, but he did. jane always looked up at him with big round eyes and he could never say no.

they had passed a boutique with a blue dress hanging in the window, and amelia made a comment about it matching the shade of lynn’s eyes. she was right. it was printed with this floral pattern and had ruffles at the sleeves. harry couldn’t stop thinking about just how pretty lynn would look in it, and that’s how he ended up with a bag of his own.

maybe it was pushing the boundaries of their friendship a little too far, but he really didn’t care. harry thinks it would be a crime for that dress to belong to anyone besides lynn.

aunt cece is the one who opens the door when jane knocks, and to his surprise, she invites him in to enjoy the dinner that she had prepared. he’s about to say no when she lets him know that lynn and silas had gone into town for an early dinner of their own before he had to go to the airport, so he changes his mind and joins the two aunts in the kitchen.

harry sits at the table while the two shared red wine out of a singular glass along with what seemed like a million kisses. rosie rested herself against cece’s back as she finished transferring the meal to serving dishes. she’d whisper things to the other in tones so quiet harry couldn’t make out the words, but each time aunt cece’s face would flush and she’d playfully push the other woman away.

he hopes he gets a love as pure as theirs when he’s older.

“what’s in the bag?” aunt rosie joins him at the table.

“it’s nothing really,” harry can feel his cheeks grow warm and he does his best to avoid the woman’s stare.

“oh come on, you’re blushing all the way to your neck. what is it? we’re very big on sex positivity, so-”

“oh my god. it’s a dress. a normal dress,” harry can’t listen to it a second longer. his finger pulls the collar of his shirt away from his neck. god, why was it so hot it here?

“aww,” aunt rosie coos at him, peaking into the brown paper bag. “it looks gorgeous, harry.”

he hums. “it reminded me of her.”

“you should take her to that restaurant she was talking about this morning tomorrow. give her a chance to wear it,” aunt cece says from the kitchen, and rosie seconds the idea.

“i overslept today, so i don’t really know which one you’re talking about.”

“hmm,” the woman in the kitchen has her hand on her hip and her face in her hands. “i’m forgetting the name.”

“latitudes,” kathleen’s voice comes from the doorway. “that’s the restaurant.”

harry can tell by her demeanor that she’s trying to be nice, so he offers her a warm smile before thanking her.

dinner isn’t as bad as he thought it would be. he imagined it being incredibly awkward because of what had happened a few days prior, but surprisingly it’s not. he’s not really sure what was said or what happened after he had left with lynn, but he suspects it was something eye opening by the way kathleen is acting.

when gets back to his condo, he finds lynn sitting on the living room floor with at least twenty photobooks sprawled around her. there’s a half full bottle of wine on the side table, and an empty glass seated at her feet. he wasn’t really sure where she kept getting so much wine. they had only purchased three bottles.

“hey,” he’s kicking his shoes off by the door.

“hey,” she doesn’t look up. her eyes are too focused on some photos that she’s holding in her lap, and he takes the opportunity to slip the boutique bag into one of his drawers.

harry changes into his pajamas and then gets himself a glass from the kitchen. with a deep breath, he moves to the living room and sits next to her on the ground. “can i join you?”

“you don’t have to ask,” lynn reaches for the bottle before filling both of their glasses and setting it back down. she offers him a smile, “such a silly question, harry.”

“did you and silas have a good day?”

“the best,” she says with a grin on her face. harry can’t help the jealousy that starts burning in his chest. he wonders if she says the same when silas asks about him. “we found all of these photobooks. what about you? were the girls good?”

“so good,” he replies. “we got ice cream, and had a little shopping trip.”

“i bet they had so much fun,” she takes her eyes away from the photo book to look up at him. her mouth opens and she pauses, and then, “i missed you today.”

they sit next to each other as lynn opens up a fresh book. it was full of photos from when she was only a kid. there were so many pictures of her in the summertime, lounging around a swimming pool wearing rugrats themed swimmies and eating ice cream, and there were even more of her hanging from the monkey bars in playgrounds and posing cutely in flower fields. his favorites were the ones of her standing behind a mixing bowl with a monogrammed apron tied around her waist.

as she turns the pages, the pictures turn from summer to fall and it goes from wide toothy smiles soaking up the sun rays to close lipped grins at school events. there were photos of her at chorus concerts and class parties and some of her sitting with her arms around her friends in the school cafeteria.

there’s a woman who appears in quite a few of the photos, not enough that he would say she was in almost all of them, but enough that harry recognizes her presence. she looked nothing like lynn or any of her family members. her skin was tan and she had long dark hair with matching dark eyes. she wore red lipstick in a lot of the photos, and every time she did, baby lynn had a matching red lip print stamped on the side of her cheek.

“who’s that?” harry decides to ask when she pulls out a picture from the plastic sleeve. it was of the woman hugging her tight while lynn held up a little certificate indicating she won some award.

“she was my au pair,” lynn traces the corners of the picture as she brings it closer to her face.

“the one your dad had an affair with?”

lynn shakes her head. “the one after. elena,” she clarifies. i spent most of my childhood with her.”

“yeah? it looks like she loved you an awful lot.”

“y’know like that feeling that you get when you think of your mom?” she asks. “i get that when i think of her. she was wonderful, harry.”

“do you still talk to her?”

“no, i think my mom stopped hiring her when amelia was two,” her voice is thick when she speaks, and harry can see the glassiness in her eyes when she looks over to pass him the photo. “i still use that recipe in my bakery today. i wish she could see it.”

harry looks at the photo and can’t stop the smile from growing on his lips. little lynn was grinning so wide, her smile nearly went from ear to ear. the certificate was proudly displayed in her hands with a large FIRST PLACE written across the top. elena had her arms wrapped around her body so tightly, you could see the imprints of her fingertips in little lynn’s flesh. his fingers flip the photo over, and his eyes scan the words written on the back.

e. adams, 1998

“you’re what?” harry speaks. “24? 25?”

“i’m 27,” the girl laughs when she sees harry’s face. “what? is 24 too young for you?”

“i’m 21, lynn,” he deadpans. “freshly, too. my birthday’s in february.”

“oh god,” her wine glass nearly tips over when she turns to face him, and harry wraps his fingers around the stem to catch it.

neither of them speak for a moment. her eyes are scanning over his face like she’s not really sure what to say. both of them had just assumed they were each other’s age.

“is that,” harry pauses. “does that bother you?”

lynn’s bottom lip goes between her teeth before she sighs, “i mean, it’s all pretend, isn’t it?”

harry wants to say that it doesn’t feel all pretend when lynn’s got his mouth pressed to his. or when they’re alone and her fingers rub every ounce of stress from his body. or when they’re in bed every night, pressed so closely together that harry can feel the way her heart beats against his own.

instead, he only smiles. “yeah, i guess it really doesn’t matter.”

they each finish their glass of wine, and harry’s quick to pour them the rest of whatever’s left in the bottle. honestly, she was right. what they were doing was supposed to be pretend. it was his fault for letting parts of it get too real.

maybe lynn didn’t need to know that some of his family disowned him because of his queerness. she also probably didn’t need to hear harry’s drunken confession about him being a friendless loser, and she definitely could’ve gone without seeing him sleeping with someone else.

he takes another large gulp of wine when the realization hits. he likes that she knows those things about him.

“evelyn,” her voice is soft as it pulls him from his thoughts.

“hm?”

“i know you saw it,” she points to the discarded photo on the ground between them. harry was so focused on the bolded 1998, he didn’t even notice the tiny e that preceded it.

“evelyn,” the intensity of his voice matches her, and as soon as the words leave his lips, her eye’s fill with tears. “oh, don’t cry.”

“they’re good tears,” she breathes. “promise.”

his hand cradles her face and tucks her hair behind her ear so it doesn’t get all sticky from the now falling tears. the way she looks up at him feels so real to harry, and it makes his chest grow tight. he didn’t know how he’d be able to walk away from all of this unscathed, but at least he had her now. he’d be stupid not to soak up everything she wanted to give him.

“it’s a pretty name,” he’s nearly whispering now. “fits you.”

“it was my grandmother’s,” she chews on her lips. “she was lovely, harry.”

“she sure seems like it,” her head feels heavy in his hand like she’s relying on him to hold it upright for her. “why’d you change it?”

“jaxson ruined it for me, and hearing it was a lot,” she sighs and her eyes squeeze shut. “it’s stupid i know.”

“i don’t think it’s stupid, blondie,” she looks up at him like she doesn’t necessarily believe him, and harry thinks that if he didn’t find out that she was twenty fucking seven years old minutes prior, he’d kiss her. “not stupid at all.”

really, he still wants to. harry wants to kiss her so hard that she forgets that goddamn loser that made her own name sound unbearable to her. the thought just makes him so incredibly angry. he could kill him.

“hearing it used to make my stomach churn,” she admits.

“it doesn’t anymore?”

her head shakes, “no. at least not when it comes from you.”

“i can call you evelyn if that’s something you want,” lynn sits up when he offers, straightening herself so she’s no longer leaning into his touch. he instantly misses the weight of her.

“yeah, i mean if it’s not too much of an ask. and maybe not in front of my family? it’s been forever since anyone’s called me that. i just- haven’t been able to recognize myself in the mirror since i started going by lynn.” she laughs lightly, but it just sounds sad at this point. “sorry, i think i’ve had too much wine.”

“yeah, i can do that,” harry hums, and he can’t help it when he reaches for her hand. his finger trails across the back of her knuckles. “it’ll be our little secret, won’t it, evelyn?”

30 JULY 2018

harry is absolutely gnawing the fuck out of the sides of his fingers while he waits for lynn to get out of the shower. as soon as she went in (for the third time because she kept forgetting things), he had laid out the dress neatly on the bed with a necklace that kathleen had slipped him at breakfast. she had said that it was lynn’s grandmother’s.

he wasn’t really sure if this whole thing was crossing the line of their fake dating arrangement. they’d be going for no other reason than to spend some time together, but really, friends spend time together all the time. silas and lynn just had dinner last night.

but did silas buy her a dress for it?

whatever. it was too late to take it all back now. he hears the water shut off, and harry knows he’ll see how she really feels about it soon. he was going to be sick.

the sound of the door knob twisting echoes through the quiet room, and then, “harry?”

“yeah?” he sounded so fucking stupid.

“what’s all this?”

“um, a dress?”

lynn moves into the doorway of the bedroom to look at him. she’s wearing a robe around her body and a towel in her hair. “obviously. where did it come from?”

“a boutique,” he replies, and she raises her eyebrow. “i bought it for you yesterday. with amelia and jane.”

“you bought me that?” her voice is quieter than before, and she no longer has the teasing smile that was sitting on her lips just a moment ago.

“yeah,” why did he feel so shy? “if you don’t like it, i kept the receipt-”

“don’t like it? harry, i love it. it’s gorgeous.”

“good,” he sighs. “i thought so, too.”

lynn doesn’t say anything else, but she doesn’t move from her spot in the doorway either. she’s got the softest smile on her face, and she’s looking at him like she’s not really sure what she wants to do next.

“well, go put it on,” he’s moving in her direction to get to the shower. “you don’t want to miss our latitudes reservations, do you?”

“no way!” she shrieks, and when harry follows it with a corny little ‘yes way’, she hugs him around his neck so tightly, her feet aren’t even touching the ground. “thank you. thank you. thank you.” her words are being whispered against the skin of the crook of his neck.

“it was nothing, really.”

“you always say that,” lynn leans away from him, still keeping her arms around his neck.

“i just like seeing you like this,” and maybe he should have picked different words.

“what?” she laughs. “half naked and pressed up against you?”

“jesus christ, no,” his cheeks warm, and he can feel the way her fingers are rubbing the back of his neck. “happy. you’re different here.”

“only when you’re the one here with me,” she presses a kiss to his cheek before stepping back. “now get in the shower. we are not missing latitudes.”

✮✮✮

lynn talks so much during the uber ride to the ferry port. she does it with a big grin on her face, and harry can tell that she’s genuinely excited about their night he had planned. she spends the entire drive discussing the menu and comparing it to yelp reviews, and when they’re on the ferry, she tells him stories about coming here with her grandma while her fingers toy with the small pendant that hangs from the gold chain around her neck.

the two talk all the way through two appetizers and a bottle of wine. harry lets lynn order everything for them because she was the one who wanted to come in the first place, and also because she had spent so much time dissecting the menu. honestly, he didn’t really care what he ate, as long as she was having everything she wanted.

their table was right on the beach, and he had a perfect view of the sun starting to set right behind lynn. harry was sure of only two things at this moment. lynn looks breathtaking in her pretty blue dress, especially during sunset, and he absolutely adores hearing her voice. harry thinks he could hear her talk forever and ever.

she tells him the story from the picture of her and elena with the first place certificate. it was a simple strawberry cheesecake cupcake, and the two had spent nearly a month practicing beforehand. lynn swears that they came out perfect every single time, except for the day of the contest. apparently, the first batch of icing wasn’t setting properly because she had cried too hard over the bowl.

when their mains come, harry realizes that this is the first time the two have hung out and gotten to know each other without some depressing undertone hanging around their conversation. sure, harry learned about elena last night, but the conversation was sad. here, lynn talked about her childhood with shiny eyes, and laughed with harry when he did the same with his.

“have you ever been grand gestured?” lynn asks around a forkful of seared grouper. her dish looked absolutely delicious, and harry regretted not getting it himself.

“not unless you’re counting a cheesy promposal.”

“hm,” she hums. “i’m going to have to go with no.”

“what about you?” harry picks up the wine bottle sitting in the chiller and works on refilling both of their glasses. “have you ever been grand gestured?”

“this is as close as i’ve come.”

“this is not a grand gesture,” harry stresses. he’s worried it’ll come across wrong for a moment until she laughs. “i just meant this is the bare minimum.”

“i know,” she smiles at him, and harry wishes he could take a picture of this moment and keep it tucked away inside his brain forever. “thank you for this again, harry.”

he’s a bit tipsy, and he can tell she is too by the amount of giggles leaving her mouth. harry always saw a sad lynn when she was drunk, and he can’t believe he was lucky enough to see this side of her, too.

this side was magical. there was really no other way to put it. she was the kind of woman that people write books about.

when harry gets tired of his pasta, he twirls little bites around his fork before leaning across the table and feeding it to lynn. it was probably a little immature to be doing at a restaurant like this, but he didn’t really care, and he could tell that she didn’t either by the little appreciative hums that fell around his fork everytime.

“ugh,” she groans when harry orders a slice of key lime pie for dessert. “harry, i’m going to explode!”

“s’okay,” his hand reaches across the table to pat the top of hers. “you don’t have to eat any of it.”

“of course i do. you know i love a sweet treat,” and really, he didn’t, but he does now.

their arms are wrapped around each other’s backs as they walk in through the front door of the condo. lynn immediately goes to the kitchen to get the last of their remaining wine while harry takes the bedroom to change into something a little comfier.

“more wine? where all you getting all of these?”

“been swiping them from my mom’s cabinet,” lynn’s sitting on the floor with her back leaning against the couch, and she laughs at harry’s words, the half empty bottle of wine pressed to her lips. after a sip, she stretches her arm out to harry, “c’mon. it’s our last night.”

he sits next to her, taking a gulp from the bottle before passing it back. “did you have fun tonight?”

“of course i did,” her voice is quiet, not much above a whisper. “i always have fun when we’re together.”

harry turns his head so he’s looking at her. he watches as her eyes drop to his mouth and then travel back up. a little laugh makes her hair float around her face, and as soon as harry thinks she’s leaning in, she stops with a loud ow falling from her lips.

and that’s how harry ends up sitting on the couch with lynn between his knees, working at the pinched nerve she complained about.

"jesus, you're so tight," harry mutters as his thumbs dig into the flesh of her shoulders.

"you're not the first guy to say that.”

"absolutely filthy tonight, aren't you?"

she laughs, and rests her head on her knees. a breathy moan pushes past her lips when he digs into a particularly sore area, "feels good. my neck fucking aches."

harry continues working her shoulders and neck, paying extra attention to the areas that make her breath hitch. he can’t stop looking at the way her lips part and eyebrows draw together. her head tilts back, and her neck strains, like she’s trying to stop herself from making a sound. the soft sighs and muffled whines that she does let fall from her mouth are enough to make him half hard.

he’s embarrassed by it, and really, he tries to think of anything else. if lynn knew he was feeling this way, they’d probably never speak to each other again, but her skin is just so soft and warm, and she sounded so fucking pretty. he really couldn’t help it.

“didn’t realize how much i missed this,” she murmurs with her head leaning against his knee.

“getting a massage? you know they have places for that.”

“knock it off,” he can feel her fingers pinching at his ankle. “i meant this… touching.”

harry hums. “i know what you mean.”

“what?” lynn laughs. “is seven days without taking someone to bed too long for you?”

harry hasn’t been with anyone in weeks. not since lynn had walked in on him and the girl from the bar. he wasn’t necessarily avoiding sex. it’s just that every time he’s gotten close to bringing someone home, he couldn’t stop thinking about her.

“s’different when it’s someone you care about,” he says instead.

harry can feel the way lynn stops picking at the carpet. her body stills except for her shoulders which move up with a deep breath when his fingers brush over her neck. he’s not really working out the knots in her muscle anymore. he’s just… touching.

it doesn’t last for very long because lynn is soon crawling up to sit next to him on the couch. she drapes her knees over his with a sigh on her lips and color blooming on her cheeks. her eyes are glassy when he looks into them, and her mouth is open like she’s going to say something. she doesn’t.

instead, her fingers cup his cheek, and then her mouth is pressing short, sweet kisses to his. she’s slow with it. her lips lazily sucking, and sometimes she drags her tongue slowly across his bottom lip, never letting it venture past that. harry savors her kisses, letting her do whatever she wants.

he knows it’s just fun for her. she’ll probably pull away with a giggle and say something about how it’s been so long since she’s been kissed like that. she’d press her lips against his once more and then they’d go to sleep. it was his fault for letting it feel intimate. with every suck of her mouth, he felt the want for her grow hot in his belly. she was just so perfect.

her lazily kisses pick up a little more pace until they’re feverish. she sucks and licks and harry groans when he feels her teeth nip at his lips. he thinks he possibly couldn’t get even more turned on than he is right now and then she’s straddling his lap, her knees tightly pressed at the sides of his thighs.

“fuck,” she gasps into his mouth as soon as he feels her against him. harry can’t even think straight. the warmth of her has his brain going foggy and his heart racing in a way that should probably be concerning. all it took was one roll of her hips, and he was a pathetic, whining mess beneath her.

"maybe you'd like a reward for all of your hard work?" she breathes into his mouth as she grinds down against him.

"i hope it's that mouth," the pad of his thumb brushes across her lips. they’re swollen and shiny with their spit. "y'know how much i like kissing you. still sweet from dessert, too.”

"how does my throat sound?" harry thinks that he’s heard her wrong, but then she parts her lips and takes his thumb into her mouth, sucking hard.

he can’t help the way he groans at the sight in front of him. her pretty blue dress all the way up to her thighs with her red lips wrapped around his thumb. she is going to kill him.

when she opens her mouth and sticks out her tongue, harry pushes his thumb further back before pressing it down right at the back of her mouth. she gags at the intrusion, looking down at him with big, teary eyes.

"don't think you could fit all of me in there," he pushes down a few more times just to see the way her eyes water over, and then he lets his thumb smear the thick saliva pooling at the corners of her mouth down her chin and all the way to her chest.

"wanna find out?"

he hums, leaning forward. "how bad do you want it?"

she laughs a little, the air from her mouth fanning across his face. "i don't beg, harry. especially not for you. don’t you see that?”

"oh really?" he pulls her into a searing kiss, letting his fingers slide all the way around to the back of her neck until they’re threaded in her hair. harry grabs a fistful of the soft strands and pulls her mouth away from his while his other hand nudges her leg over so she’s back sitting next to him. "that's too bad, blondie."

his lips sponge soft, wet kisses from her mouth down to her shoulders, and then back up. he angles her head so he can trail them up the front of her throat all the way to right below her ear. he lets his teeth graze at the soft skin until she’s letting out a shaky breath and pushing his face away.

"god, harry," he thinks she's going to cave. "i know you're practically a teenager, but you don't have to try and mark me up like one."

"didn't realize turning thirty meant you can't have any fun," harry bites back.

"i am not-" he presses his lips to hers, swallowing down whatever else she was going to say. he thinks if he had to spend one more second without his mouth on hesr, he’d die. "you're lucky you're pretty."

"you think i'm pretty?" he's got a teasing grin on his face.

"don't be annoying. look at you.” and that was it. he knew exactly how to get under her skin.

"do you think i'm prettiest in those yellow swim shorts you put in my suitcase?" he’s leaning in so his nose is nudging hers. lynn’s face flushes and she opens her mouth to speak but closes it. "don't get all shy on me now. i've felt you staring all day."

she scoffs, hands coming up to push at harry’s chest. "you wish."

"maybe i do," a kiss. "wore them just for you after all."

lynn fists his t-shirt, bringing his mouth back to hers. they kiss like they’ve been starved of each other for weeks. harry lets his touch slide up her calf, and his fingers caress the back of her knee.

"harry," her words are soft. a whimper.

"evelyn," harry’s fingers push higher, running all the way up to the inside of her thigh and back down. each time his touch gets closer until he’s thumbing at the cotton edge of her underwear. "what's the matter, blondie? you've gone all quiet on me."

"please," is all she says. it’s so quiet, harry barely catches it over the sound of his heart thumping in his ears.

"what was that?"

"you heard me.”

"i don't think i did."

"please, harry," she rolls her eyes at him, but harry sees right through it.

"please what?" his thumb slides a little under her underwear where he could feel the heat pooling. "are you still all achy?"

lynn nods with a whine in her throat and she turns her head to try and hide the pink flush in her cheeks. looking at her is practically intoxicating.

"gonna tell me where so i can make it better?"

when she doesn’t answer, he squeezes her shoulder, "here?"

her head shakes.

“hmm..” his fingers trail to her neck. “here?”

another shake.

“what about here?” he says as his fingers pinch back at her calf.

lynn groans as she takes his hand, pressing his fingers against her cloth covered center. "here, harry."

"poor, baby," harry murmurs against the crook of her neck. his finger is only gently running against the dampness of her underwear. enough to make her whine, but not enough to give her much relief. "got yourself all worked up over what? little old me?"

"you're ridicu-" a moan from deep in her chest cuts her off when harry thumbs at her clit. she’s looking at him with wide eyes and a heaving chest. he’s not sure if she didn’t expect him to actually touch her, or if she wasn’t expecting to sound so loud.

"here's what i think," he’s only looking at her, his hand back to barely touching her. "you like to act all tough, but it's quite the opposite, really. my sweet honey just needs someone to take care of her, doesn’t she?"

"y-yes.”

he adds a little bit of pressure. a treat for giving him what he wanted. "wanna hear you say it.”

lynn doesn’t answer, and harry tsks before pulling away from her. “nothing? what a shame?”

"i need someone to take care of me," she rushes out like she was so desperate for his touch to be back on her. and what kind of man would harry be if he didn’t listen?

"who?" he pushes further. she's looking at him with furrowed brows. "who do you need to take care of you? to make it all better?"

"you," she cries, her voice broken and needy. "need you to make it better. please, harry.”

"there you go," he praises her with a few kisses to her face. "c’mere, baby."

he tugs her hand so she’s seated in between his legs with her back pressed to his chest. she spreads her legs over his when he nudges her with his knee, and then his fingers find the hem on the pretty blue dress to bunch it at her waist.

"being so good f'me," he kisses her neck while he lets his fingers travel over the plush flesh of her tummy. sure, he felt her like this every night, but this was different. "don't wanna do anything you don't want to, okay? just have to tell me if you want to stop."

"okay," she rushes out. "just... please."

"such good manners," he murmurs against her skin. "think you deserve a little reward."

harry wishes he could forever hear the sound she made when he first dipped his fingers in the front of her underwear. he never imagined her to be so noisy, so loud, but with each stroke of his fingers came whines and moans and whimpers so filthy, they would make the devil look away.

his hand is cramping against the restricting fabric, so he pushes her ruined underwear down her legs, leaving her to kick them the rest of the way off, before moving her hand to the back of her thigh and instructing her to hold herself open for him.

“you’re so fucking hot when you listen, y’know that?” lynn whines at his words and squirms against him as his fingers slowly make a mess of her, watching the way her arousal strings between his fingers. harry’s breathing stops when he catches the perfect view of her. all spread open and glistening. just for him.

harry’s thumb rubs circles against her clit while the rest of his fingers move all the way down, teasing at her entrance. he never pushes in further than his fingertip before he moves them back up and starts again. he does this until she’s so wet that he knows it has to be dripping down onto the couch, and then he slowly pushes a finger in.

lynn’s head is tilted back against his shoulder, and he sponges kisses to the part of her neck that she has bared to him.

“do you think y’can come from this?” he murmurs against her skin. “i know it’s-”

“yes,” she’s quick to breathe out. “god, yes. you’ve got me so fucking horny right now. i’ll be the easiest you’ve ever had.”

and she’s right. once harry moves his free hand from her waist to her center to give her a bit more stimulation, she’s a goner. her moans and whimpers turn into high pitched whines, and her back arches away from him. he can feel her clenching on his fingers, and all it takes is one more curl and she’s nearly convulsing.

harry’s fingers offer lazy touches until she’s whining and snapping her legs together. his lips press warm, encouraging kisses against her neck and shoulders and really, anywhere they could reach. lynn melts in to him, her face falling in the crook of his neck. little giggles tickle his skin as he pulls her dress down to cover her back up.

“so perfect, evy,” he whispers. he expects another laugh or maybe a bashful shove, but instead she’s quick to stand up and head for the front door. “wait.”

"i- um, sorry i just," she clears her throat, and then. "i need some air."

"lynn-" the door slams, and harry’s left wondering what exactly he did wrong.

✮✮✮

harry: im sorry

harry: i shouldn’t have let myself get so carried away

harry: i don’t know what else to say but i am so sorry.

lynn shuts off her phone and slips it into her pocket before quietly opening up the door to the bedroom. all of their stuff was packed up. only an outfit that she had picked earlier in the day was left on top of her suitcase in a nice neat pile. the huge mess she had made in the bathroom before dinner was all packed up into her toiletry bag, and when she stepped a bit closer, she could see harry stretched out under the covers all the way on the other side of the bed. he was such a gentleman.

she felt so embarrassed when she found herself calling her aunt to let her into her condo. she didn’t mean to run out on harry the way she did, but once everything started to feel a little bit too real, she didn’t know what else to do. what was she supposed to say? i actually haven’t let anyone touch me like that in over half a decade, but yeah, we can call it two friends just helping each other out.

her aunt offered her a shower and a change of clothes and then sat with lynn on the bathroom floor while she cried so hard, she nearly threw up. aunt cece rubbed her back while she dry heaved over the toilet bowl, and then she sat and listened while lynn told her all about their fake arrangement.

“isn’t that pathetic?” lynn had said once she was finished.

aunt cece only sighed, “i think it’s more pathetic that you’re crying this hard over here instead of just telling him how you feel.”

and once aunt cece mentions that she thinks that harry likes her in a way that’s more than just platonic, lynn starts thinking that maybe letting him know about her feelings wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

they’d spend more alone time together once they got home. lynn would probably invite him to the bakery on a sunday where she could show him everything elena had helped her create. she’d send him home with loaves of bread and all of the muffins his heart desires.

maybe he’d let her watch him paint. they could spend sunny afternoons in the park with a picnic and a canvas. she’s only ever been artistic in the kitchen, but she’d definitely try to paint something for harry. it’d probably end up terrible, but he’d keep it. maybe even hang it up in his house. she knows she’d do the same. covering her walls in harry’s art just because they were made from him.

long nights would be spent in between her sheets, where he’d give her the best orgasms she’s ever had in her entire life (just like he did tonight). and then maybe, he’d let her touch him, too.

“he called me evy,” lynn told her aunt. it was the very phrase that had her running, but this time a smile forms on her face when she thinks of it. “i told him about evelyn, but not evy.”

it was a nickname her grandmother had given her. everyone had called the older woman evie, and so she called lynn, evy. she had said she wanted her granddaughter to feel like her own person, and the name stuck.

the first time her dad called her evy after her grandmother's passing lynn cried so hard she threw up in her front yard. it didn't feel right coming from peter, and even when luke wrapped her in all the love he could muster, pressing kisses to her face and promising evy that everything would be okay night after night, it still felt wrong. it was like there was an itch that could only be scratched by her grandma's voice. and now harry's.

“maybe she sent him to you,” her aunt’s fingers smoothed her hair away from her face before kissing her head. “go see him.”

harry looks up from his phone when he hears lynn step into the small room. “i’m so fucking sorry, lynn.”

his voice is raw and scratchy, and the thought of him crying over what she did to him makes her heart break. she climbs into the bed, sitting with her feet underneath her. “you’ve got nothing to be sorry for.”

“but, i-”

“nothing, harry,” she stresses."you didn't do anything wrong. i just... i get in my own head sometimes. i'm sorry i left the way i did."

"it’s okay," he rolls over so he's facing her. his hand covers hers. "you can talk to me when you feel like that, lynn."

"the guy i dated before my last, he was," she clears her throat. "he was a friend. well, he is a friend and i think..."

she doesn't know how to say what she wants. lynn thinks dating her friend was one of the best decisions she's ever made. that relationship happened nearly a decade ago and she still secretly wishes that she was selfish and asked him to stay when he came to her door.

well, she used to wish. she hasn’t thought about it in a while.

she thinks that maybe her and harry could be like that. or they could try to be like that. they were friends. they knew each other and she was comfortable with him. comfortable enough to let his hand go up her dress. her cheeks warm at the thought.

she'll tell him that being with luke ruined their friendship and she was never close with him again. lynn never really minded the way luke slipped so easily from her life, but she’s terrified that the same would happen with harry. she really likes having him around.

she’s going to tell him regardless, and perhaps she’ll make him promise that trying wouldn’t ruin anything. that if their relationship went south, they’d still have their friendship to fall back on.

"i think that, um," she closes her eyes and harry squeezes her hand. “um, well-”

"it's okay. i'm still hung up on my ex, too. what happened between us doesn't have to mean anything."

oh.

"okay," she breathes, trying to make sure she didn’t look as devastated as she fucking felt. "good. that’s what i was going to say."

harry sighs, "i haven't been able to stop thinking about him recently, if i'm being honest."

shut up! shut up! shut up! shut up!

"why don't you tell me about him?" she gets under all of the covers, an excuse to pull herself away from him. "since you know about mine."

lynn doesn’t really know why she asks, but she did. so, she listens to harry talk about his stupid ex named oliver with a huge smile on her face. like she could not be more elated to be hearing about how much he loves him if she tried. lynn wipes his tears when he talks about how mean he was to the boy when they were in high school, and even holds his hand when he hiccups about how much he misses him.

“you should reach out to him,” she says, letting her fingers card through his hair.

“you think so?” harry sniffs.

“yeah,” lynn hums. “it might be good for both of you.”

when lynn mentions it, she doesn’t expect him to do it right then and there, but he does. he pulls out facebook messenger, and she has to pretend not to notice the way that oliver jones was the only saved search.

maybe they’ll meet up, oliver will want nothing to do with him. harry will have a cleared conscious and he'll come back to lynn. she’ll go to therapy as soon as the plane’s wheels touch down in westchester, so when he ultimately comes knocking at her door, she’ll be better. good for him. yeah, she thinks. that will totally happen.

she clings on to whatever little sliver of hope she had left because that stupid scenario was the only thing keeping her from bursting in to tears.

when lynn looks over at harry, he’s tapping away on his phone screen. the dim light illuminates his face, and she decides if that moment were to ever come around, she’d be selfish. just that once.

✰✰✰✰

a/n: this felt like sooo much information but! part six sooon (hopefully by the end of next week)

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dullgecko · 3 months ago

Note

Okay another list!!! One happy and one sad for each

Fabian has night terrors- many of them related to that one dream he got in Leviathan

Fabian is now a happy host to the best setup service in the school (dating the former president has its perks in terms of gossip, and your best friend being a brilliant rogue is also very helpful)

Adaine is allergic to a very specific washing detergent and it never comes up until one time Jawbone and Sandra Lynn buy it and she wakes up with rashes all over

Adaine is slowly learning how to eat a normal amount of food, and very quickly discovering how much she loves food

Gorgug once in a while will get very, very angry for seemingly no reason (it's a part of Orcish physiology that has never been studied; a means of protection for their clubs (orc family groups) and never harmful to said members). The bad kids have learned to recognize the signs and do their best to calm him down, but often during it he'll say some very hurtful things. Afterwards he always shuts down, and won't speak at all. He often has nightmares about hurting the other bad kids.

Gorgug will happily let any member of the bad kids climb on him. He loves being a jungle gym, and to be honest, it's a really good workout.

Fig has the worst period of any of the bad girls. It leaves her literally stuck in bed and no amount of medicine helps save very addictive painkillers. So she's stuck in bed for a bit.

Fig actually is very good at pop music, she has the voice for it, and she likes practicing or warming up with a pop song

Riz has never gotten over when Grix cast Dominate Monster on him. He hasn't told his mother (and never plans to), but he gets nightmares about his friends leaving him because he's "monstrous"

Riz is the best person to ask to remind you of something. He has a notebook specifically for things members of the bad kids have asked him to remind them of. Aside from that, he has a very good memory, which helps with research.

Kristen has super bad body dysphoria. She often doesn't like to look in mirrors and can't look down at herself. She wears lots of baggy t-shirt when it happens (she runs far too warm to wear hoodies; Helio's blessing on her as his chosen one when she was a kid).

Kristen is always the life of the party. She thrives in making others smile and all in all being a good host. Her and Fabian throw the best parties, and given their more introverted friends, also always have an introvert corner/quiet space at said parties.

Sorry i took so long to get to this one, these big asks are harder for me to answer on a dinky phone screen. I had to wait until i got home so i could reach MAXIMUM WPM with a keyboard.

------------------------------------

//Fabian has night terrors- many of them related to that one dream he got in Leviathan//

Fabian occasionally has night terrors, and as the years go on he keeps getting more and more horrifying scenarios to add to them. It started off with the night his father died and he lost his eye, and sometimes he dreams he wasnt there in time to save his mother.

It only gets worse from Laviathan and the nightmare forest, and becomes a rotating parade of Chungledown Bim, Whitclaw, his swim in the ocean, him being a passenger in his own body while he watches himself stab the Hangman (this one is sometimes swapped out to him stabbing Riz instead), that dream he had where he basically became Gilear, and of course that fucking sexy rat.

Junior year just adds a lovely sprinkling of him being in his house, alone, and when he leaves his house the town is also completely empty.

He usually wakes up in a panic and calls Riz (who he knows is probably still awake, and even if he wasn't still answers by the second ring) and gets him to info dump about whatever he's working on until his heart rate calms down.

//Fabian is now a happy host to the best setup service in the school (dating the former president has its perks in terms of gossip, and your best friend being a brilliant rogue is also very helpful)//

It started during junior year when he was hosting his lofi study nights, he wasnt dating Mazey yet but they were still friendly with eachother. She was an absoloute sucker for romance, so she tended to keep a finger on the pulse so to speak of what the most recent crushes were, and who wanted to ask out who. Fabian was more than happy to start helping her nudge these budding romances along (and Riz begrudgingly got roped into delivering confession notes from time to time... its fine, he got extra credit in his rogue classes which he forced Fabian to sign the paperwork for).

------------------------------

//Adaine is allergic to a very specific washing detergent and it never comes up until one time Jawbone and Sandra Lynn buy it and she wakes up with rashes all over//

Adaine would never know she was sensitive to some kinds of laundry detergent, simply because the laundry detergent used in her house had been some sort of fancy elven concoction that would have cost half of Jawbones salary. This new one smelled really nice, and had been half off, but was apparently created to torture Adaine specifically.

The rashes went away after a few hours and an antihistamine, but she had to use prestidigitation on all her clothes to make sure there was none of the residue left. Prestidigitation left the clothes clean but now without the nice scent and also just a little bit scratchy because there was no softener left between the fibres.

Jawbone tossed the almost completely full box in the trash, and purchased one specifically for sensitive skin the same day (and they made sure to test it for Adaine by washing a small rag and holding it against her arm so they could check for a reaction).

//Adaine is slowly learning how to eat a normal amount of food, and very quickly discovering how much she loves food//

Elves, as a general rule, don't eat a very large amount of food or even need to. Even with that said, Adaine was never given very much food even by elven standards when she was growing up. Once Jawbone found out, he makes sure that she has both a good breakfast every chance he gets AND snacks packed in her bag for throughout the day. Not to mention dinner and desserts and hot drinks before bed AND midnight snacks. All of it delicious, and Adaine loves every single bit of it (oracle visions use up a LOT of calories it turns out).

--------------

//Gorgug once in a while will get very, very angry for seemingly no reason (it's a part of Orcish physiology that has never been studied; a means of protection for their clubs (orc family groups) and never harmful to said members). The bad kids have learned to recognize the signs and do their best to calm him down, but often during it he'll say some very hurtful things. Afterwards he always shuts down, and won't speak at all. He often has nightmares about hurting the other bad kids.//

He cant really help it, but his friends and family have given him some pretty good coping mechanisms throughout the year. It mostly manifests as him getting an extreamly short fuse for a few days, and a lot of restless energy, which can cause him to snap and be mean even if he doesnt really mean the things he says. If he can feel the anger coming, usually he'll completely remove himself from the situation before he hurts someone and will try to burn off some energy by either going for a run or swinging his ax around until he's exhausted.

//Gorgug will happily let any member of the bad kids climb on him. He loves being a jungle gym, and to be honest, it's a really good workout.//

Gorgug was surprised at first by how willing the other kids were to clamber all over him, but he supposed it made a sort of sense. Initially it was just Riz, but he would climb ANYTHING to get a higher vantage point if it stood still long enough. The goblin was also absoloutley fearless when it came to heights and rather than just jumping on him for a piggy back ride like Kristen and Fig he would stand and perch and, if Gorgug held his arm out straight, would walk along his outstretched arm as if he wasnt nearly twice his height off the ground.

The other kids would also lean on him whenever he sat down, or flop across his legs, and would just laugh and let him pick them up and move them somewhere more comfortable. On one occasion they got into a conversation where the topic of 'how many of your teammates could you pick up and get out of danger in an emergency' came up. The answer was all of them, but they had to get creative with the configuration because he only has two hands.

---------------------------

//Fig has the worst period of any of the bad girls. It leaves her literally stuck in bed and no amount of medicine helps save very addictive painkillers. So she's stuck in bed for a bit.//

It started getting bad right around when her infernal characteristics started coming in. The doctors can't really do much rather than throw medication at her and give her excused absenses from school. Their best guess for the reason its so bad is so common it literally transcends realities "we dont know, its just like that sometimes, take some painkillers and use a heat pack". Even in Spyre where magic and fantasy abound, womens health can be an absoloute joke.

//Fig actually is very good at pop music, she has the voice for it, and she likes practicing or warming up with a pop song//

Fig is an incredibly talented bard, and as long as she's feeling the vibe she can absoloutly nail whatever song she feels like performing that day. She doesnt even have a genre thats really her favorite, she just listens to and sings songs she likes. Sometimes that's going to be pop, maybe country, and sometimes she gets REALLY into some death metal.

--------------------------------------

//Riz has never gotten over when Grix cast Dominate Monster on him. He hasn't told his mother (and never plans to), but he gets nightmares about his friends leaving him because he's "monstrous"//

Riz has an incredibly deep self-hatred for the part of him thats a monster, so much so that he tries VERY hard to present himself in such a way that people will overlook it. The manners, the way he dresses and the way he acts in public is all supposed to project an aura of 'i'm harmless, im just a polite little guy in a nice suit, im smart and well read and i help people in my job. im not like those creatures that are the bad guys you tell your children at night'. The other bad kids didn't even know he had a tail for almost a full YEAR after he met them because he kept it tucked away so he had a less monsterous appearance. The children at his first school used to bully him horribly about it, and he has on more than one occasion had it pulled or stomped on hard enough to cause bones to break. His tail is part of his SPINE and is incredibly sensitive, only very close family and lovers are even allowed to touch it in goblin society and injuries like that are debilitating.

His friends accepting him for the way he is is very slowly helping him get past that, but the acting principal casting dominate monster on him hurts a lot more than he lets on. Not dominate person, specifically dominate monster. It makes him feel sick to his stomach and he backslides into the self-hating pretty hard afterwards and his dreams reflect it (when he even sleeps that is, his primary method of self-harming is denying himself sleep so that he can keep being useful and un-monsterous). Jawbone does his best to help when he notices something is wrong.

//Riz is the best person to ask to remind you of something. He has a notebook specifically for things members of the bad kids have asked him to remind them of. Aside from that, he has a very good memory, which helps with research.//

Riz has an excellent memory, but he'll still write it down as long as its not something that could be used against them later. He's a smart enough rogue not to leave evidence behind if he can help it. Even the more mundane things he writes down though are in his own personal cypher, but he hasnt yet had to actually use the notes he takes in order to remember to do something. Its more of a backup just in case of memory wipes.

-------------

//Kristen has super bad body dysphoria. She often doesn't like to look in mirrors and can't look down at herself. She wears lots of baggy t-shirt when it happens (she runs far too warm to wear hoodies; Helio's blessing on her as his chosen one when she was a kid).//

It starts after she revives herself in the Nightmare Forest. She literally recreated her body from a single finger bone and sometimes it feels like she did it wrong somehow. Sometimes she'll catch herself scrutinising her face in the mirror, wondering if she always had that freckle or if her nose really was that shape before she died. Were her arms always that long, did her ears always poke out to the side like that, was her hair always that specific colour or was it more red?

Once she starts working out the body dysphoria starts to get a little bit better, pushing herself to physical exhaustion helps keep her grounded and makes her feel like YES this is my real body, i exist in it and it belongs to me. Its a process, but she's working on it.

//Kristen is always the life of the party. She thrives in making others smile and all in all being a good host. Her and Fabian throw the best parties, and given their more introverted friends, also always have an introvert corner/quiet space at said parties.//

Bad kid parties are an absoloute event. The more social members of the party all have their roles to play and damn do they play them well. Kristen for her part is in charge of the general health and wellbeing of everyone at the party, making her rounds to make sure everyone is having fun and doing okay and generally having a good time. Its a very Cleric role to have, but thats what makes her so good at it.

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #d20 #riz gukgak #bad kids #fabian seacaster #gorgug thistlespring #adaine abernant #fig faeth #kristen applebees

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bi4bihankking · 1 year ago

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Okay the main reason that you should read Infinity Inc. Do you like cute college students who are fun together? Do you like found family? Do you like your favorite characters being friends forever and nothing bad happening to them at all?

Well TOO BAD! If you read Infinity Inc. your favorite character has a 92% chance of either dying or going evil! You will love these stupid children and you will be so upset that DC refuses to have an actual full Infinity Inc. Reunion and instead decides that every few years former members should attempt to murder each other.

For characters you have: Boy with daddy issues, other boy with daddy issues, gay angry boy with daddy issues, (unfortunately not canon gay yet) boy with EVIL daddy issues, and 7’6” himbo. It’s just... daddy issues all the way down. Also sexist 1940s man who is incredibly annoying. Jennifer-Lynn Hayden, or Jade, who you should all know, and frankly I think if your only exposure to Jen is Kyle Green Lantern you should be OBLIGATED to read Infinity Inc. I have seen some awful stuff flung around about her by Kyle fans. “Jade is only important to comics to tie Kyle to Alan and since she can’t do that properly she might as well stay dead” and that’s just what I’m willing to quote.

Read Jennie-Lynn RIGHT NOW to properly appreciate her or learn to keep her name out of your mouth. I say while shipping her other ex with her dad and her brother.

Lyta Trevor who has been through so much and deserves so much more than being hated because of Sandman, you do not know Lyta and you have not read her struggles, how dare you, I am assigning you the homework of Read Infinity Inc. or shut up.

Okay that is the big sexisms it’s time to get to the big homophobias, or both. Hey remember how the mini series that Beth and Yolanda were killed off in either heavily implied that they were dating or ramped up the sexual tension so much that it seems that they are. I think you should read Infinity Inc. and join me in demanding that Geoff Johns brings back that relationship. Yeah it would be cute.

Read Infinity Inc. now to fall in love with the cutest college age idiots you’ve ever read, ship a ship that is definitely considered problematic now (it’s Hank and Todd I don’t mean problematic problematic I mean, my god people are weird about non-canon gay ships involving canon gay characters, they just have a ridiculous amount of UST and you have to understand Hank was absolutely in love with both twins you have to you have to), be destroyed by the only death in the main series as you learn to care about them all, and also read further in the main characters lives and see the horrible shit they all but especially Hank gets subjected to...

I forgot someone...

MISTER BONES

MOST IMPORTANTLY

Infinity Inc. is the origin of this meme!

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alisonfelixwrites · 8 months ago

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Informed consent: chapter 4

Word count: 14,866

Mia put on her coat and watched as Harry did the same. He faintly waved over at some people and Mia felt guilty instantly. Harry had caught her look though and shook his head, “Don’t even think about apologising.”

Mia felt her cheeks heating a little and then nibbled her lip, “Still. I hope your friends don’t think I’m rude because I didn’t even say hi to them.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Harry waved it away and Mia decided to drop it. Flipping her hair out of the neckline of the blazer she borrowed from Hazel, she stepped up to their table.

Renan and Lynn shot her a knowing, teasing look after having seen Mia at the bar with Harry, but Mia just shot them a small smile and diverted her attention to Hazel, “I’m gonna go home.” She announced softly.

Hazel grinned, “Okay.”

“Hi.” Harry behind her greeted her friends in a low voice, and they all shot him blinding smiles which made Mia blush harder. Mia cleared her throat, “H-Harry’s going to walk me home.” She informed, not missing the way Hazel’s smile widened even more at the information, “Okay.”

“Bye.” Mia breathed before she turned around. Harry chuckled from behind her but followed along. The bell to the bar dinged as they opened up the door, and the rain was instantly sensible on their heads. “Oh.” Mia mumbled, wrapping the blazer a little tighter around her as Harry glanced up at the sky, “Shit, ‘s a rough night.”

Mia felt guilty all over again but tried hard to keep her mouth shut and not apologise all the time. Harry rubbed his palms together and shot her a smile, “Which way?”

She inhaled a breath and nudged her head towards the opposite street, “That way.”

They braved the rain together, hardly able to get a few words in as it clattered against the sidewalk so harshly. They tried a few times, constantly having to yell ‘what?!’ to the other person until they laughed it off and continued walking. Mia exhaled in relief when her building came into view and she pulled her key out of her purse.

Harry hurried under the overhang, running his hand through his wet hair before shaking it out a little. Mia shuddered in her wet coat, hair matting against the back of the leather as she turned around and shot Harry a small smile, “Thank you for walking me home.”

A wet droplet hung from the tip of his nose as he smiled back, “No problem. Wanted you to get home safe.”

Her heart warmed at his sentiment. Never in a million years did she dare to imagine that the man who made her cry earlier this week would be the one to make her feel so giddy only days later. She bit her lip to hide her smile and cleared her throat, “Do you want to come up for some hot tea? Oh, and I could give you that book from Maya Angelou.”

Harry blinked a few times and eventually nodded, “Yeah, I’d love to.”

“Alright.” Mia beamed before turning around and letting them into the building. Their footsteps left wet puddles in the hallways as Mia brought them up to the second floor and then stopped in front of one of the doors, opening it up with another key.

The apartment was still a bit chaotic from having people over earlier and Mia mumbled an apology, “Sorry it’s so messy, we haven’t cleaned yet and it’s been a chaotic week.”

“Hey, I live with two other guys. Don’t worry about it.” Harry joked, stepping inside carefully. The scent of cinnamon mixed with vanilla entered his nose, and he suspected some lovely candle was the culprit for the heavenly scent that he would now forever associate with Mia. He glanced over his shoulder to see her shrugging off the wet coat, running her fingers through her hair before she bent down to unzip her boots.

His eyes lingered on the curve of her ass in the flared jeans and he admired her body for a second before looking away, realising how inappropriate it was. He was here to warm up and get the book, and that was it.

Mia put on some fluffy slippers that Harry found completely adorable before she turned around to face him, “You can take off your coat, you must be freezing.” She walked up to him, bringing up her hands. His eyes widened at the thought she might take it upon herself to unzip it, but it seemed like Mia realised all of a sudden what she was about to do – and stopped.

She took a step back with pink cheeks and cleared her throat, “Y-You can hang it up on the coat rack next to mine. Do you want tea?”

Harry tried to keep the hammering of his chest under control, “Yes, I do.”

“Okay.” She piped up, hurrying into the kitchen while muttering under her breath how stupid she was and how much of a fool she was making of herself. Mia busied herself with putting on the kettle as Harry took a curious look around the apartment. He stared at some of the pictures on the wall and Mia noticed him, “Those are all Hazel’s.”

Harry looked at the pictures of Hazel, smiling along with her friends who he recognized from the bar earlier. The boy with the blue hair had pink hair in one of the shots. Harry nodded at Mia’s words and continued walking along.

Mia had trouble keeping her breathing under control with a boy like him walking around her apartment. It dawned on her how alone they were in here and how silent it was. She fiddled with some tea bags, “What flavour do you want?”

Harry turned to face her, “I quite liked what you gave me today during therapy. D’you have any more of that?”

Mia’s lips curled up into a smile as she bashfully nodded, “Y-Yeah.” She wasn’t sure why she liked it so much that Harry enjoyed her recommendations, even if it was for something as silly as tea.

She poured two cups of the hot, steaming water and dropped tea bags in it before padding over the couch, making sure she didn’t slip or spill anything. With her lip between her teeth, she put them down on the coffee table and then sat down on the couch, Harry joining her soon after.

There was a decent distance between them, and she fiddled with her wet hair again before reaching for her clip which was on the table, occupying her hands as they wrapped around her locks and she twisted it into an updo to keep the dripping ends off of her back.

She glanced to her side to find Harry softly smiling at her and she blushed while looking down, “Do you want something to eat? Are you hungry?”

“No, ‘m good. Thanks for the offer, Mia.” Harry responded before they fell into a comfortable silence. There were a few dim lights on around the room and the overall vibe was cosy.

“Are you warm enough? Do you need an extra sweater? I-I think they’d all be a bit small on you but still – if your clothes are wet you should take them off before you get sick. I would feel horrible if you got a fever because of this.” Mia turned to rambling to ease her anxiety and Harry looked at her with playful eyes, “I should take them off, hm? What’re you suggesting here, Mia?”

Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped as a deep red flush rose up her neck, “Oh my god, I-I’m n-“

“Mia.” Harry threw his head back in a laugh while shaking his head, “Relax, ‘m only messing with you. It’s alright, my clothes aren’t wet and I’m definitely warm enough.”

“Oh.” She blushed furiously, embarrassment taking over that she never really got his sarcastic jokes when he made them, and she fiddled with her thumbs when she felt a little silly for always taking everything so seriously.

“I-I’m quickly going to put something else on, I’m a little cold.” She spoke in a small voice, slightly desperate to get away from him for just a second so she could recompose herself. She really hadn’t thought it through when asking him up to the flat with her. Was he expecting something? Was she unwillingly flirting again like Tyler thought she had? Was she coming across as desperate?

She sighed and palmed her face, standing in front of her closet as she quickly unbuttoned the floral top she spent so long picking out hours prior. She threw it to the floor in frustration, standing in her light pink bra before yanking on an oversized jumper. The look wasn’t as cute as the previous top had been, but at least she was warm and cosy and could hide in her clothes a little when Harry decided to make a comment that would turn her cheeks as pink as the jumper she chose.

Taking a breather, Mia decided to sit down on the edge of her bed for just a moment. Her mind was spinning and she was so nervous to be alone with him, so nervous to blurt out something stupid that would turn him off. She didn’t know what signals he was giving off or how to even read them. She thought one thing – that he liked her a little – but maybe he meant something completely different.

A slight knock on her door made her jump up when her spiralling thoughts were interrupted.

“Mia? Can I come in?” Harry’s voice sounded muffled behind the door and Mia pressed her lips together before readjusting the clip in her hair and getting up. Her bunny slippers carried her to the door that she carefully opened.

Harry was dimly lit up by the hallway lights behind him and he leaned against the doorpost casually while looking down at her, “Everything alright? I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable before, I didn’t mean it like that.”

Mia exhaled a trembling breath, “Y-You didn’t?”

Harry narrowed his eyes and looked at her unsurely, contemplating what the correct answer was. He knew his little joke from earlier had made her shy and embarrassed even if he hadn’t meant for her to feel like that at all. But Harry was nervous, sitting on the couch with Mia all alone in her apartment after walking her home. A week ago, he didn’t even know this girl and now she occupied every minute of his day.

He bit his lip and then just decided to be honest, “Honestly? I did. But it came out wrong, and I’m sorry if it was too much.”

He wasn’t sure how Mia was going to take it, but she appreciated his honesty and let out a small breath, offering him a small smile, “Okay.”

Harry relaxed too, smiling back before peaking into the space behind her, “Is this your room?”

“Wh- Oh. Yeah.” Mia responded, turning around too, “It’s really messy right now, they all helped me pick out an outfit earlier.” She explained, hurrying through the room to pick up some pieces of clothing scattered around and shove them into the half-open closet. She tidied up at a speed Harry had never really seen before, flying through the space with her arms full before she flicked on the sheet so it covered more of her mattress.

Harry stared around the room, nodding to himself, “Wow. It’s… about four times the size of my room.” He chuckled. Mia smiled and bit her lip, “Really? Yeah, we’re quite blessed with this apartment, we love it here. Hazel’s room is a little bigger than mine.”

Harry’s eyes glanced over the double bed with the white sheets, and overall the room was quite blank and not really decorated. Her desk was the most cluttered area of the entire room, books and books with school material littering the white desk as notes were scattered around. Harry assumed it was Mia’s most used place in the apartment.

He went to look back at Mia, who had her back to him as she flicked her eyes over her bookcase before putting her finger on the spine of one and pulling it out, “Here you go.” She turned around, offering Harry the book they had spoken about earlier today.

Why the caged bird sings.

Harry grinned as he nodded, “This is really cool. Thank you, Mia, for letting me borrow it.”

“That��s alright.” She smiled back, “I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.”

His smile fell a little and Harry swallowed while looking down at his shoes, “I-I want to apologise again for Tuesday. I was so rude to you and yet you gave me another chance. And I really appreciate that.” He honestly admitted. The words he had spewed at her were fresh in Mia’s brain, but getting to know Harry a little bit better – she knew he wasn’t truly like that.

It had been his anger and frustration towards the school and the system that he had worked out on her. It wasn’t the right way to talk to someone but he apologised and realised that, so she forgave him for his little outburst.

“It’s okay.” She murmured, “I forgive you. Really.”

Harry’s face lit up as he sighed, shoulders dropping a little. His gaze felt heavy and Mia shuffled a little as she felt herself growing smaller and more self-conscious. Her hands fumbled with the sleeves of her jumper and Harry chuckled under his breath, “You’re so cool.”

Her brows raised on instinct, “Me?”

“Yeah, silly. You.” Harry smiled, not stopping himself before he took a step forward. Mia held her breath, inhaling the scent of perfume lingering around Harry so subtly yet perfectly fitting him. She adored it immediately and was addicted in an instant. She couldn’t blink, not when Harry leaned down.

Mia didn’t dare looking up, didn’t dare tilting her head back. She was excited, but also very scared that he was going to try and maybe kiss her. She wasn’t ready, but luckily for her, Harry sensed that. He wanted to show his gratitude, and he wanted to show that he truly did feel an interest towards her, but he wanted to respect her boundaries after she had already unsuccessfully rejected someone tonight who didn’t get the hint.

So he settled on a brush of his lips against her cheekbone. He could feel the soft inhale of a gasp the moment his lips made contact with her soft skin, and he puckered his lips gently to press a kiss right to the high of her cheek, lingering just for a moment before he pulled back with a little smack.

Her face was priceless, and if Harry focussed on it too much, he was sure he’d start laughing. So he just settled on a little chuckle at the pure shock written in her eyes and then trailed his fingers down her arm, “Come on, our tea’s getting cold.”

He casually turned around and walked back into the living room, leaving Mia completely flustered and breathless. She looked at his back, and even if she didn’t see his face, she knew he was smirking. He had to be. Harry was kind, but he still took pleasure in seeing her suffer just a little bit. And this was one of those moments, where he knew exactly what he was doing – driving her absolutely crazy – but enjoyed it at the same time.

Mia needed a second before she could follow him out into the living room again, seeing Harry lazily on the couch like he had been in this space his entire life. His cup of tea was on his lap, comfortably resting in one of his large palms as Mia slid into the couch next to him.

“So… exposure therapy on Tuesday, hm?” Harry broke the silence. Mia took a breath and forced herself to nod, “Mhm.”

“Who invented that?”

She relaxed on the couch a little while racking her brain, “Pavlov, I think.”

Harry frowned at her, “Isn’t that the guy with the dog?”

“Yeah.” She chuckled, “He invented conditioning in the early 1900s.”

“So…” Harry drew out, “do you expect me to start drooling when I walk into the library?”

Mia giggled under her breath, a sound Harry realised he found extremely pleasant and wanted to hear so much more of. Mia bit her lip to hide her smile as she shook her head, “I hope not.”

“Isn’t it usually used for phobias? Like people who fear spiders have to hold one or something?”

“It is.” Mia nodded, “Look at you, knowing so much about psychology.” She slightly teased, blushing a little at how comfortable she felt and Harry noticed it too, staring at her with a pleased glimmer in his eyes, “D’you think I missed my calling, Dr. Phil?”

“Oh, definitely.”

“What kind of a therapist would I be, then? Enlighten me.”

Mia smiled wide and licked her bottom lip, “Let me think… Probably a liberal one.”

“Very true.” Harry nodded.

Mia tilted her head to the side, “But do you really agree always with liberal ethics? I know in philosophy, natural liberal ethics were actually quite Christian,” Mia spoke, “most of the intercourse was forbidden unless it was meant for procreation. Like… fetishism was seen as immoral because it was one-sided, just one person fantasising about another. Whereas homosexuality wasn’t because it was mutual.”

“It’s so androcentric like that.” Harry muttered, completely in awe of how smart Mia was and how much he enjoyed talking to her about stuff like this, “Wasn’t it Gundorf who broadened that? Made it more secular? But even then, monogamy was the only way to go.”

Mia shifted on her seat a little, “You’re not monogamous?”

“If I’m in a relationship, sure.” Harry nodded firmly and Mia felt slight relief taking over her body for some reason as she nodded along. Harry cleared his throat, “Yeah, I don’t really like to share. I think sex in a relationship is really between you and your partner. Of course when you’re single, you don’t really have to stay monogamous. But it’s different.”

“How so?” Mia questioned softly. Harry avoided her gaze, suddenly feeling a little nervous to talk about this kind of stuff, stuff that made him a little vulnerable, “Well… I think sex is supposed to be fun and free, but I think it’d be more fun and free with someone I really know? And trust? I think it’s great if you’re with someone for a long time and you can keep exploring one another, try new things… those are things you don’t really get to do if it’s just one time.”

Mia stared at him intently, taking in his words as she listened to every syllable rolling off his lips. Once again, she had to really focus on what he was saying and not on the way his pink lips moved when he talked. If she focussed too much on that, every noise just got drowned out and she forgot how to blink.

“How about you?” Harry asked after a soft clearing of his throat, clasping his hands together as he happily shifted the attention away from himself. Mia got pulled from her train of thought and raised her brows, “Me?”

“Yeah,” Harry chuckled, “you. Are you monogamous?”

She wasn’t sure how to answer his question, but to be honest – she never really saw herself as someone with many sexual experiences. She wouldn’t mind being with just one person all her life, if he loved her right and they were happy. And they had fun. Mia had no idea what she liked or disliked or how to do any of that, so if it was someone who could pull her through and make her feel good about herself… she’d be sold.

Sexy was something Mia had never felt before. She didn’t know what it was like. So maybe that was something she was looking for, someone who made her feel sexy, wanted and treasured.

“Yes.” She eventually nodded. Harry softly smiled and nodded before they fell into a short silence.

Mia took a long sip of tea before taking a breath, “But yes, it was Gundorf who broadened it, you’re right.” She took the topic back to what it was before. “He was also the one starting up the topic of consent.”

Harry hummed and nodded, “True. But then there was the criticism about consent and spontaneity. That the two don’t match. Which I don’t agree with. You can be spontaneous with someone and still have it be consensual. I think it’s one of the most attractive things to know that the other person really agrees and wants you.”

Mia softly smiled and nodded, “I think that’s a nice way to look at it.”

It was almost comical really, how comfortable the topic of sex and intercourse got to her when speaking about in a more theoretical way.

“Honestly, the Christian view on sex is so outdated.” Harry mused, “Did you know that at one point, homosexual love was considered elite? Because men were superior, so nothing could be more superior than two men.”

Mia raised her brows, “Really? Then why did it become such a taboo at one point?”

“Don’t know.” Harry shrugged, “Society changes, it still does. All the time. And I think it’s good that it does, that the views on sex have become much broader than they used to be.” He spoke, “Procreation, pfft.” He huffed under his breath and Mia smiled in amusement at his little frustration.

“Such a biological approach, right?” He continued, “I mean, if sex was only meant for procreation, why do women have a clit?”

Mia choked on her sip of tea, sputtering out coughs as she covered her mouth with one hand to catch her breath, “Jesus Christ, Harry.” She scolded with red cheeks, covering her face to hide from him with the jumper pawing her hands once she was through her coughing fit. He smirked at her reaction as she made herself into a little ball on the couch, bringing her legs up.

She had an amused smile on her lips though when pulling back, and exhaled a sigh while shaking her head.

“What?” Harry chuckled and she shrugged while smiling, “Nothing. You just… you’re so blunt.”

“I speak my mind.” He admitted and she hummed, “Very unapologetic.”

Harry leaned his head against the back of the couch, covered by a chequered blanket, “Is that Dr. Phil speaking or just you?”

Mia fought her giggle, “Just me.”

“I think I prefer just you over therapist Mia.” Harry murmured. Mia’s face fell a little and she glanced down before nodding, “Me too.”

Harry pressed his lips together as he drew a breath, “Do you like it? Psychology?”

“Yes.” Her answer was immediate and rehearsed and Harry turned his body towards her a little more, his tea sloshing around the cup, “Do you really?”

Mia blinked, unsure if anyone had ever asked her that question twice, and her composure faltered, “I don’t know.” She mumbled, “I’ve just started, so it’s a little hard to tell.”

“Is it really?” Harry frowned, “I mean, you’re giving these therapy sessions. Do you like that?”

“I don’t know.” Mia spoke again and Harry sighed out in thought, “Was there ever anything else you wanted to do?”

Mia smiled softly and nodded, “I did. I’ve always wanted to be a surgeon. It’s not very realistic, I could never do that,” She chuckled while shrugging, “but it was sort of a dream.” Mia swallowed, “I had a bit of a reality check when starting uni, realising they cut me a lot of slack in high school and… well, I’m not that great of a student.”

“What do you mean?” Harry asked and Mia shrugged, avoiding his eyes, “My grades aren’t all that amazing. I-I’m trying a lot, to lift them. I study so much.” Mia sighed, tiredly resting her head. Harry frowned as he took her in, seeing how tired she actually was. Exhausted. She masked it easily with her smile and her big eyes, but Mia was tired.

“Have you ever considered doing something else?” Harry proposed and Mia flicked her eyes up to see him, “Like what?”

He chuckled, “I don’t know. There’s lots of things that you can do. What do you want to do? What seems realistic? What’s interesting to you?”

Mia opened her mouth but nothing came out, unsure of how to answer Harry’s array of questions. Once again, it was something no one had really asked her before he did. Harry noticed her hesitance, “How did you choose psychology? What made you pick it?”

He was curious about her reasons since he didn’t feel a passion radiating from her. She almost knew more about philosophy, even agreeing with him on certain points where he’d had heated discussions about with fellow psychologists. If this was really where she was at, he could imagine her not enjoying lots of her classes if she didn’t even agree with her professors.

Mia thought about his question. What made her pick psychology? The thing was that she didn’t, her parents did. She had never truly felt a passion towards it, but forced herself to like it because it’s what they wanted for her and they found it an appropriate field.

After talking to both Hazel and Harry quite a bit, she realised how interesting philosophy was, and she sometimes craved following those lessons more than her own. She couldn’t imagine the disgust on her parent’s faces though if she’d ever suggest something like that. Philosophy was a field without prospects, according to them.

“I-I didn’t really pick it.” Mia carefully mumbled, staring down at her fingers. Harry didn’t say anything, giving her the time to think about her words and Mia took a breath, “My parents… they thought it’d be something good for me.”

She didn’t exactly dare looking at Harry. Saying the words made it sound so stupid, and she wondered if he thought she was weak when speaking them. Harry could only really stare at her with a shocked expression. He had heard of many parents nudging their children in certain directions. Obviously, parents knew their children. If someone wanted to do a field that was way beyond their level, parents could give advice. But that’s what they were supposed to do; give advice. Not choose in their place.

Not like they had done for Mia. Harry really tried to give them a fair shot, but they had already fucked up tremendously in his book. He wondered how happy she’d be if she studied something she enjoyed and was passionate about. How much more lively she’d be, how much more bright than she already was.

“They just… decided?” Harry carefully asked and Mia nodded quickly, “Yeah. They did.”

He huffed out in disbelief, “Mia… they can’t just do that. Aren’t they supposed to let you try and figure it out? Not many people know instantly what they wanna be when they’re older, or what they want to study. It’s why so many people fail their first year. And it’s not a crime to fail or to choose something else, to find something that’s better for you. The system is designed for you to have room for failure. Who knows what they want for the rest of their lives at eighteen? No one.”

The word failing made Mia near tremble, but she frowned at Harry’s words. She had never thought of it that way. “I-I thought they just wanted the best for me.” She mumbled, “That they knew me best.”

“They probably do want the best for you.” Harry nodded, “But I don’t think they know you best, I think you know you best. Like I said, nothing wrong with wiggle room to figure things out.”

They fell into a silence, Mia thinking about Harry’s words intently as he watched her get lost in thought. He scooted a little closer on the couch, “Do they do that a lot? Decide things for you?”

Mia shamefully looked down, one big thing coming to mind that maybe she felt like Harry should know about. He saw the reactions he gave and frowned a little deeper, “Mia?”

She sighed and lifted her head, “They’ve kind of decided who I’m going to end up with.”

Harry blinked a few times, feeling like the air got punched out of his lungs. Did he really develop a crush on someone he had no chance with? Who was taken? He had never even considered the fact she might be dating someone else or – god forbid – have a boyfriend back home.

“W-What do you mean?” He asked and Mia sighed again, pressing her lips together, “They want me to end up with Daniel. He’s my age, the son of a family friend and business partner of my dad.”

Harry exhaled a shaky breath, “Daniel…”

“Yeah.” Mia murmured, “I-I’ve met him a few times. He’s – uh… nice.” She voiced carefully. She didn’t actually know him all that well and the thought of him made her scrunch her nose up.

Harry frowned deeper, unsure of what Mia was trying to say as he swallowed thickly, “You like him?”

“Sure.” She shrugged before catching the pained look in Harry’s eyes and realising what she said. She gasped, “Oh – god, no. Well, n-not like that. I don’t like like him.” She quickly added. Harry lifted his eyes, “You don’t?”

“No.” Mia quickly shook her head, “I don’t really know him. He seems really… serious. I don’t know.”

Harry nodded slowly, processing the amount of information he had received already. “And what is something you’re looking for then?”

Mia took a breath as she pondered his question and eventually shrugged, “I-I think it’s nice when you can laugh with someone. I’m not – uh…” She searched for words, “naturally the most funny person. But I think it’s nice when you can smile with someone. I like to smile.

Harry’s lips involuntarily curled up at her words. He couldn’t get over how adorable and cute she was and she really just wanted to scoop her up and wrap his arms around him. He dug his hand into the couch cushion instead, leaning his head to the side, “Hmm. You’re really pretty when you smile.”

“Harry.” She blushed bashfully, hiding her smile by biting her lip and casting her eyes down, playing with her fingers. He smirked a little at her shy reaction and held his breath when reaching a hand out. Mia’s eyes widened when she saw the hand slowly approaching, and she lifted her eyes in surprise.

Harry’s touch was tender, pads of his fingertips brushing over the skin of her face. He traced her eyebrow, the shape of her nose and her cupid’s bow, making her stare at him in a trance. Mia was leaning forward before she realised it, completely hunched over towards Harry as if his magic hand was coaxing her into his space.

“What happens when you end up liking someone else?” Harry whispered, coming up with the same question Hazel did earlier. Mia just stared at him, her ears filled with stardust to the point she hadn’t even heard his voice. She gasped in a soft breath when his thumb gently tapped her bottom lip before dragging down to her chin, tilting her head up ever so softly, “Hm?”

“W-What?” She croaked out. Harry smiled, butterflies erupting through his entire body as he stared at her with hearts in his eyes, “I asked what happens when you end up liking someone else.”

“I don’t know.” Mia whispered back, “I like you.”

She didn’t realise what she had said until she saw the raise of Harry’s brows and the way his smile got wider, “Yeah?”

“Oh.” Mia straightened up, snapped out of her trance in a second as she looked at him with horror in her eyes, “Oh god.” She groaned to herself, crawling away on the couch to the far end, only making Harry laugh louder at her behaviour when she hid from him at her sudden confession.

It wasn’t fair, really. It was like he had hypnotised her and she had no control over her words, brain and body. Especially not her body. The dull throb between her legs felt slightly uncomfortable and Mia clenched her thighs together at the unfamiliar feeling.

His green eyes had coaxed that secret truth from between her lips, and Harry felt his heart fluttering as she shied away from him after the confession. He followed her body to the other end of the couch, hesitating slightly before placing both hands on her drawn up knees to get her attention.

“Mia.” He murmured with a grin, breathing out a chuckle when she winced and he brought one hand up to pry her hands away from her face. She dropped them and revealed her pink skin as she glanced up at him through her lashes, “Sorry.”

He still had both hands on her knees, leaning in a little bit until he popped his chin up on one, staring at her, “What’re you sorry for?”

She nibbled her lip nervously and shrugged, nearly unable to look him in the eye. She felt utterly stupid and childish, and she wondered if Harry did the same. She wanted to be bubbly and confident and sexy and adventurous, the type of girl who’d have a spontaneous escapade in a library with a fellow student with the risk of getting caught – but she just wasn’t.

And she couldn’t help but wonder if she was even remotely Harry’s type.

Harry could see the wheels in her head spinning and after a little more squirming from her, he decided to put her out of her misery. He licked his bottom lip, nerves coursing through his veins, “I like you too.”

Mia felt like she’d sleep all through tomorrow from how intense this night had been. She was exhausted, but her heart was hammering as she blinked at Harry, lazily leaning on her knees and taking in her shocked reaction. His smile grew with seconds as the flush rose up her neck and she stupidly giggled, “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.” Harry laughed a little before shaking his head, “I’d like to take you out.” The tea was long forgotten when Harry asked her the question Mia had been fantasising about. He was being a perfect gentleman about it too and she sucked in a short breath, “I’m – okay. Yeah.”

“Yeah?” Harry chuckled and she eagerly nodded, “Yeah. B-But we’re still doing the sessions?”

“True.” Harry mumbled, “Maybe after the sessions are over then. Gives us plenty of time to get to know one another. Who knows, you might find out something about me that sets you off.” Harry joked but his words held truth. He was terrified after spilling his feelings that had never come so early for someone ever before.

He’d only had a handful of conversations with Mia, but it was just something he felt. He felt drawn to her, attracted. And not just because she was gorgeous to look at, but the way she carried herself. She was interesting, and she was smarter than most people he had ever met. Their little discussions about philosophy energised him so much, even making the entire subject more of interest to him.

Like he couldn’t wait to read about the stuff she spoke about to learn more about her point of view and broaden his own horizons. Harry felt like he wanted to know everything about her, from the way she felt to the way he thought.

Shortly after both making their confessions, Harry decided to leave Mia alone so she could sleep. Her lids had become droopy and even though he secretly hoped she’d invite him to stay the night just so he could hold her warm body to his – she didn’t. Part of him knew she wouldn’t, it would all be way too quick and what he wanted with her could wait. It was special, he wanted to take his time and not rush into the physical aspect – which was the mistake he usually made – and just give her time and space to be comfortable around him.

With the book tucked under his arm, he roamed the wet streets of the campus until walking up into his student house. The lights were still on and he walked in to see Liam and Niall eating some leftover pizza at the table. They looked like they just got home from the bar, their brows up when they saw Harry walking in.

“Hey. There you are.” Niall smirked while Harry couldn’t wipe the broad smile off of his lips. He shrugged off his wet coat and took off his beanie, not feeling cold at all after the kiss he left on Mia’s cheek at her door, leaving her with a giddy smile and glimmering eyes before he walked two floors down to exit her building.

“Yeah.” Harry chuckled, kicking off his shoes and reaching for a piece of pizza.

Liam narrowed his eyes, “You really only look this happy when you’ve gotten laid.”

Harry rolled his eyes and shook his head, “Not true.”

“Niall,” Liam spoke, diverting his attention to their third roommate.

Niall popped his chin up on his hands to stare at Liam intently, “Yes, my darling.”

“Twat.” Liam chuckled before clearing his throat, “Tell me, have you ever seen young Harold this smiley?”

Harry rolled his eyes again while grabbing some cold water from the fridge. He felt like he needed to cool down. Just being in Mia’s presence set his skin on fire for some reason, and it didn’t feel like any amount of cold rain could dose it. It was inside of him. He quickly gulped down some of the cold liquid, trying to forget what she smelled like when he was so close to him.

Her shampoo was something floral, matching her just perfectly for some reason. Like a delicate flower, she was so… soft and pretty. His entire thought process revolved around Mia and he could safely say he had never felt a crush like this before.

“I have not.” Niall spoke in a fake posh accent, “What should we make of this, sir Liam?”

“That our young Harold has a big fat crush on some girl way out of his league.” Liam joked and Harry swiftly turned around with a glare, “Hey!”

Liam cackled out while Niall joined him, teasing their friend to no end as Harry just huffed under his breath. Liam caught his breath and leaned his elbows on the table, “So what happened then? Why didn’t you introduce her to us?”

“Seriously?” Harry raised his brows before nudging his chin in their directions, “Because of this, you idiots. You’d scare her away.”

“Ah, come on,” Niall retorted, “we’re perfectly nice! She’d love us.”

Harry shrugged, not really having any more answer to their question. He supposed he liked being in this little bubble with her. He knew what all his friends were going to think. They’d like her, for sure, but they’d be wary because she was nothing like the girls he usually went for and he didn’t want his mates to scare her off by their inappropriate behaviour.

He wanted to get to know Mia on his own a little at first. After all, he hadn’t even known her a full week yet his body turned to liquid whenever she smiled at him.

“Which one was she again?” He heard Niall whispering to Liam, who whispered back, “The brunette with the flower top on.”

Harry turned around in time to see Niall nodding in recognition and he then flicked his eyes to Harry, “She must’ve been special, you didn’t even say goodbye to your best friends.” He scoffed.

“You’re so dramatic.” Harry rolled his eyes and Niall arched up an eyebrow, “Do you talk to her like that?”

“What?” Harry chuckled before shaking his head, knowing for sure he’d never talk to Mia like that. He just turned into some mushy sap whenever she was around him.

All throughout the weekend, Harry found himself counting down the minutes until Tuesday. He read her book the entire time, paying special attention to the highlighted passages where some had exclamation points next to it or were crookedly underlined in pencil. For someone that neat, the book was chaotic. Harry never thought Mia would be the one to highlight in a book without a liner, or that she’d use permanent ink to write something down.

He found himself admiring even the way she wrote.

They texted back and forth in the days before their therapy session, both of their friends noticing immediately how the other was so happy and giddy.

Mia spilled the entire thing to Hazel the moment they both woke up on Saturday, while Harry kept more to himself. He wasn’t that much of an open book overall, had always learned to kind of keep his thoughts to himself and not take up too much space.

So when Mia had finished her classes on Tuesday, she had a bounce in her step when hurrying over into the North building. She and Harry decided to meet there after her first session and then head to the library together. All the while the girl was speaking to Mia – the girl who had to come in before Harry – she found that she was hardly listening.

She felt bad, letting her emotions get in the way of being a decent therapist, but she had a feeling the girl didn’t really mind that she was basically talking to a wall.

Mia didn’t even care that she hadn’t understood a single thing of her final class of the day – statistical methods for psychological research – and made a mental note to find tutoring sessions for that one too. She had to remember that they had an assignment due next week. It was something Mia had slightly forgotten about since her weekend was spent dreaming about Harry.

Literally dreaming.

Friday after going to bed, she couldn’t help but feel cold under the sheets as she had somehow wished she had been spontaneous enough to take the leap and invite him to stay the night. She had felt a little bad, sending him home in weather like that. But Harry didn’t want to overstep and Mia was too shy, so they both went their separate ways.

Only to be reunited once more today.

Harry had to admit he had looked for her on Monday during lunch, scanning the cafeteria all the way – even the trash table – but there had been no sight of his Mia sitting alone for lunch. Louis had pouted next to him, claiming he had been really looking forward to seeing the girl who had Harry’s balls twisted together.

But Mia was nowhere to be seen. When Harry texted her, she said she only had classes in the morning and then a free period, so she went to eat at home and then would come back to study at the library.

The library, where they’d go together today to check out the broken bookcase, all due to Harry.

Mia’s stomach twisted a little when thinking about it, him so intimate with someone else. She liked to think that she was the first one having certain fantasies about him, the first one who got to know him. Because he was the first one getting to know her. But Harry had been had by others, and Mia wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

It was natural of course, she felt. She couldn’t hold it against him that he had a life before meeting her. That he enjoyed that life with whomever he saw fit. It still felt surreal that he had said he liked her out of all people.

She had spoken to Hazel a little more about him in the weekend, yet Hazel really couldn’t give her much information. Harry wasn’t unfriendly to her, but he was just quiet and kind of to himself. She knew of his friends a little more since they were louder and more popular, but Harry was mostly known as their friend.

And the library thing.

Mia eagerly checked her phone to check the hour as she sat in her seat in room two, waiting for him. She already had her coat on and everything packed after having used Harry’s notebook and pen again for her previous session.

A soft knock on the door made her heart jump and Mia got up from the chair, quickly opening it.

She couldn’t help the happy giggle escaping her throat when she saw him on the other end, breathless and pink cheeks from running all the way here.

“Hey.” He chuckled and she smiled wide, “Hi. Ready to go?”

Harry’s face fell as he winced a little, “Do we have to? Can’t we just… stay here and talk?”

Mia pressed her lips together, completely ready to give into Harry’s question and quickly nod, but she did have certain responsibilities with these therapy sessions. Nibbling her lip, she tilted her head to the side and Harry knew she was about to reject his offer, so he just softly pouted.

Mia felt her insides firing up at the sight of his plump bottom lip pouting out. Mia had never before kissed anyone, but she felt a constant urge to just touch Harry’s lips. With her own. Over and over again. It was a strange lust to feel, the idea of wanting to taste someone. She couldn’t explain what it was, why she wanted it so bad, why she dreamed of it and got completely hypnotised by the sight of his lips.

She had been taken back to that moment he touched her lip and stared at her so intently, many times. Usually it woke her up with a gasp as she stifled her moan, completely embarrassed by how hot and bothered she felt with that on her mind.

Harry wore his dark beanie again, just a few tendrils of soft hair sticking out of the fabric.

He exhaled a breath, “Alright, show me the way, Dr. Phil.” He teased her a little with the nickname and Mia chuckled at him, walking outside with him with her bag over her shoulder. Part of her felt slightly nervous walking around campus with him for everyone to see. Not that people paid attention or that they really minded, Mia felt, and they were just walking next to one another, but it felt like a step.

“So what’s really the point of this?” Harry grumbled, his hands tucked into the pockets of his coat as he walked next to Mia on their way to the library, across the campus grounds.

Mia chuckled and shrugged, bundling her scarf a little tighter around her. The wisps escaping her braid tickled her forehead, “I just thought it might be nice to get out of the room for a bit, go see the place where – uh… it happened.”

“It?”

Mia winced under her breath, shaking her head to herself, “Don’t make me say it.” She murmured.

Harry breathed out a playful laugh, gently pressing his palm into her lower back as an affectionate touch that nearly made Mia buckle through her knee as they walked through campus. She smiled along at their changed dynamic and how Harry really had no red flags in her book.

Hazel had explained that to her, the red flags. After explaining her conversation with Tyler, it turned out he had a bunch of them. Randomly walking up to someone in a bar – all confident and stuff – was one of them apparently. Mia felt like Hazel had been extra harsh on Tyler after Mia explained how he made her feel during that short conversation.

Unsafe. Uncomfortable. Small.

So Hazel was angry, cursing him out and using words Mia didn’t feel like repeating. After going through all the usual insults that made Mia’s eyes widen, Hazel turned to silly, self-made insults that quickly made Mia giggle and laugh. Eventually they were both laughing and rolling around the couch.

“Dickbutt!” Hazel had shrieked, making Mia cackle out and clutch her stomach as the pair laughed around. Mia had never imagined she could laugh about a situation like that. It truly only hit her when Harry had left and the butterflies in her tummy had settled a bit. There was an underlying discomfort there, and Mia started wondering for the first time what would’ve happened if Harry hadn’t intervened.

Well, Mia knew what would’ve happened. She would’ve given Tyler her number in an attempt to satisfy him and get him to leave her alone.

It was another thing she talked about to Hazel – really opening up to her this weekend. Mia had padded into Hazel’s room with a small voice, carefully asking what men felt like flirting was. Maybe Tyler picked up some signals Mia didn’t mean to send? Maybe she gave off the wrong idea?

Hazel pulled her into a hug at that and they cuddled in her bed. Hazel was no Harry, but somehow she was even better. Mia felt a very strong connection to her, and she had quickly become her best friend and confidant. It was a nice bonus for having a nice roommate, that they got along so well and it just worked. Neither of them were perfect, but they kept the other’s feelings into account.

Mia couldn’t believe how nice Hazel’s friends had been, and apparently they had all liked her too. Mia beamed at that. The thought that people liked her and didn’t fake their smiles or didn’t have to try too hard to have a conversation with her, warmed her heart. All her life she had been told she wasn’t very sociable and she was a bit of a nerd. Her parents fed into that, near shoving her nose between the books.

Now that it turned out she wasn’t that great of a student either, Mia had been struggling a little with what she was supposed to be good at then.

“We’re here.” Mia smiled once they stood in front of the library building. Harry glanced at it warily and with little enthusiasm while Mia was near bouncing on her feet. She had to admit she really liked the library. It was a very safe space for her and she had spent countless hours studying here already.

Opening up the thick, heavy doors, they were met with a comfortable warmth that made Mia’s insides bubble a little bit. This time she wasn’t here to instantly walk up to her favourite study spot – always a little bouncy and giddy when she noticed no one had taken it yet – but they were here for Harry.

“Hi Myriam.” Mia whispered silently to the lady working the front desk of the library. Myriam was around seventy and had worked here her entire life. She had glasses on her nose and her hair was silver, her lips bright red. Her face lit up when she spotted Mia, “Mia, darling!” She grinned wide before her face fell and she noticed Harry, “Mister Sinclair.” She greeted.

“Hey.” He mumbled and she shot him a critical look over the rim of her glasses, “Come to destroy something else?”

Harry rolled his eyes in annoyance and Mia bit her lip to hide her laugh before she gently tugged on the sleeve of his coat, “Come on.” She whispered.

Harry sighed in little enthusiasm and followed Mia around the library as she took turns and walked them through nooks he had never seen here before. Honestly, Harry had only been in here a handful of times when he had to read something for his classes. He usually studied together with his friends in their own student home or he went to some coffee bar.

Maybe that’s where it went wrong and why he blew his first year, Harry suddenly thought. He watched as Mia’s eyes scanned the racks of books and she comfortably walked around the library, knowing every turn and every section by heart. He mindlessly trailed behind her, not even looking around much but keeping his eyes on her.

They were on the ground floor still, where the regular books were. They passed the young-adult section and the science stuff before bumping into some philosophy books.

Mia smiled wider when she noticed the Maya Angelou book in the case, her finger pulling at the spine to check it out just like Harry had seen her do in her bedroom a few days prior. He leaned against the bookcase as Mia inspected the spotless copy of why the caged bird sings.

“Have you started it?” Mia softly asked and Harry smiled softly before nodding, tucking one hand in the pocket of his jeans as he leaned his head against the bookcase too, staring at her, “I have. Read it all weekend.”

Her eyes grew twice their size and if Harry really focussed, he swore he could see little beating hearts in them. Mia clutched the book to her chest bashfully and bit her lip as she smiled wide and shy, “Y-You did?”

“Yeah.” Harry whispered, “It’s really good. I like seeing the passages you highlighted. I read over them a couple of times because I know they were important to you.”

Mia swooned, also clumsily leaning into the bookcase as she stared up at Harry as if he was the only thing she had ever seen. Her heart was bursting out of its seams at the words he spoke. It was all she ever wanted, for someone to show such a true interest in her and not make fun of her or think she was weird. Harry ran with all the little quirks of her he had seen so far and none seemed to have scared him off yet.

He was so open, and it caused her to be so open too. They stood closely together between the books in a silent library, shielded away from the outside world.

Harry softly cleared his throat, his eyes dancing over Mia’s delicate features, “To be left alone on the tightrope of youthful unknowing is to experience the excruciating beauty of full freedom and the threat of eternal indecision.” He casually quoted. Mia stared at him without blinking, her mouth softly parted and Harry shot her a lopsided smile, “That one stuck with me.”

“W-What else?” She croaked out. Harry hummed softly and brought his hand up, focussing on the way his fingers brushed her temple and Mia’s knees felt weak. She was thankful for the bookcase that she had her shoulder and hip against, and for the book she was tightly clutching between her fingers – desperate to hold onto something. If he kept doing what he was doing and saying what he was saying, she’d for sure break the spine of it in two and Myriam would have her pay for it.

But it was all worth it. It was all worth it as long as Harry continued quoting her favourite book to her in the middle of her favourite place.

“The caged bird sings with a fearful trill,” Harry started in a soft voice, and Mia knew exactly what part of the book he was quoting. Harry took a breath and continued, “of things unknown, but longed for still. And his tune is heard on the distant hill, for the caged bird sings of freedom.

“You reminded me of the caged bird a little.” He continued softly whispering. There were no students studying around them, they didn’t have to be quiet, yet they were both whispering and careful of the air around them breaking.

Mia raised her brows, her bottom lip quivering ever so slightly when Harry tucked a loose wavy strand of brown hair behind her ear, “Hm.” He continued, “After what you told me on Friday… I mean, I know it’s totally different, but it did make me think of you.”

Mia couldn’t speak. She was mesmerised, hypnotised and everything in between. She realised how badly she wanted to put her hands on him. How badly she wanted to run her fingers up his chest, preferably underneath the layers of clothes he wore. To feel his warmth, his skin, his little imperfections she knew he was bound to have.

He was so imperfectly perfect. And not being able to touch him right now was complete torture. Her hands gripped the poor book harder.

Harry licked his bottom lip and dropped his hand, “I feel like… you feel like you’re too much. And it’s why you let yourself be silenced.” His voice was so soft, raspy and gentle. Mia heard him, she truly did. His words hit her hard and she blinked a couple of times, yet still unable to look away from his perfect, gorgeous green eyes.

He voiced it perfectly, the way she felt. Mia pressed her lips together and swallowed, giving him the shortest, tiniest nod which she wasn’t even sure Harry noticed, but he of course did. She admitted it, confirmed it, that she did. She felt like she was too much. Like she asked too much, spoke too much, took up too much room.

Harry swallowed thickly and nodded to himself, “I feel that about myself too.” He added in a murmur.

Mia’s lips opened again when she heard him. She felt like Harry was also trying his hardest not to break the eye contact, to keep this moment vulnerable as it was, to keep it so strong between them right now.

Mia’s fingers hurt when she released one hand from the book, dropping it to her side before blindly reaching for Harry’s hand. She realised it was the first time she had seen him blush, even if it was just slightly and even if it wasn’t half as bad as how much she was blushing, but she still felt like it was cute.

“D-Do you know what Hazel always says to me?” Mia whispered. Harry leaned into her a little more, his nose inches from hers as he managed to shake his head. Mia took a breath, “She says… you’ll never be too much for someone who can’t get enough of you.”

His fingers felt warm against hers. Long, bony, tattooed and gently grazing her own as the two of them touched. It felt delicate, the brushing of his fingers against hers. Not really holding hands, not tightly grasping at one another, just softly stroking over skin that touched so many things throughout the day, but never something as precious as the other.

Harry wanted to kiss her. More than he’d ever wanted anything before and probably more than he’d ever want anything in his future. He wanted to kiss her right now. He wanted to taste her lips, already knowing she’d taste like cinnamon and forest fruit tea and cherry lip balm and that he’d smell her floral shampoo and that being close to her would be an explosion of warmth and safety and excitement and he’d be done for life.

It was too soon to say he wanted to spend all his remaining days with her. They had only known each other for a week, but she had become so important to him. Harry didn’t think he had ever connected to someone like this.

He hated it when his friends called him out on his grumpiness, but they were right. He was moody, easily annoyed, easily frustrated. Harry wouldn’t say he had anger issues, but he would say he was impatient. But never with Mia. He felt like he could watch her forever, clumsily trying to put on her coat only to realise she put her arm through the wrong sleeve and had to redo the process all over again.

They were young, but he just felt it. That she was his soulmate. And it was scary, but most of all it was exciting. And he wanted to show her what she meant to him and how much he truly liked her.

The only thing was, that he didn’t want to do it here. Not in the library. Not in the place she and him both associated with him sleeping with someone else. Not in the place that brought them together in the first place, where he had committed his sins that led to her.

Mia deserved better than that, she deserved the whole entire world.

So they didn’t kiss. Mia felt a little odd about it. She was too shy to initiate it, but she would’ve thought Harry felt the same way and that he would’ve made the move. She wanted her first to be him, her first everything. She had never felt like this before.

But Harry didn’t kiss her. And even if Mia felt a slight tinge of disappointment in her tummy, she knew there was a very valid possibility that Harry was maybe nervous too. Or that he didn’t want that during their therapy session. Or in this library where he had done it with someone else.

They broke apart after a while, both their hands disappearing back into their own pockets as they started roaming the library more. Mia brought them up to the first floor to show Harry her favourite study spot. It was empty and he smiled when he saw it, immediately visualising her sitting there with her nose between her books. A frown on her forehead, focussed on reading the words letter by letter and taking in all the information.

She’d have her thermos of tea with her and a thick sweater to bundle herself in, braid hanging over her back as she probably had his pink sparkly pen between her lips.

“So then I sit here.” Mia smiled while walking up to her regular chair. She put her hands on the back of it, near the end of the table with her back towards bookcases and in front of her some room and then a window. Harry remembered her talking about that.

He chuckled as she tapped the back of the chair and ran her hand over the wooden structure of it gently. Harry walked up to the window, seeing the rainy campus grounds and even his own student building in the distance. He nodded to himself, “It’s nice. I get why it comforts you.”

Mia walked up next to him with her arms crossed in front of her chest, following his gaze, “It’s quiet.”

“It is.” Harry nodded in a whisper before exhaling a deep breath, “I’ve never looked at it like that.”

Mia nibbled her lip, standing still next to Harry, “How did you look at it then?”

Harry left a little silence. He never thought the library of all places would be the place he felt like he’d open up his heart to Mia. That this was where he’d be his most vulnerable. He swallowed thickly, “It felt deafening.”

The knot in Mia’s stomach tightened. Her hands were clasped together behind her back now as she followed the figure of a student crossing the campus grounds in a hurry to get out of the rain, “You don’t do well with silence?”

“Had too much of it growing up. I know it seems insane that I want to live with two other guys who are so loud and present all the time. But I secretly love it.” Harry spilled it all and Mia pressed her lips together more tightly. She didn’t know what to answer.

Harry didn’t exactly expect an answer either, he continued staring ahead of himself as his feelings bubbled up to the surface. He licked his lips, “I grew up with a disabled brother, did you know?”

Mia finally turned her head to look at Harry. She saw his side profile, eyes still focussed outside. Harry followed a dropping raindrop that fell down the window, all the way until it disappeared in a puddle at the bottom of the windowsill.

“He’s a few years younger than me, Edward.” Harry murmured, “But he required constant care ever since birth. He’s great, and I really do love him. B-But…” His voice died down and he nibbled his lip. Mia continued looking at him, seeing the strange emotions in Harry’s eyes even if he didn’t directly look at her.

There was disappointment, guilt and confusion. Mia drew a breath, “But you grew up without your parents.” She softly finished his sentence. Harry didn’t look at her, swallowing thickly as he kept his eyes locked outside. Mia dropped her arms, turning to face him as she reached for his hand again.

This time it wasn’t a soft brush of fingertips, this time she held his hand. She laced their fingers together firmly, with confidence, with emotions to try and console him even if he had trouble opening up. Harry’s jaw clenched and he exhaled through his nostrils, feeling the tight lump in his throat.

It felt comforting, for Mia to hold his hand like this. So simple, yet meaningful. As his friend.

“Maybe that’s enough for today.” Mia whispered, gently rubbing her thumb into the back of his hand. Harry couldn’t blink, couldn’t look at her if he wanted to refrain from breaking down in the middle of the library.

He had never had much trouble talking about Edward. He didn’t even know why he did right now, what was different. Why it took him so much effort to say the words to Mia.

Harry eventually sniffed and gave Mia’s hand a squeeze back, finally turning to face her. She could see the small tears wetting his waterline – which he blinked away harshly – before letting out a soft chuckle, “Great job today, Dr. Phil.”

Her lip curled up into a small smile and eventually their hands broke apart.

Harry felt warm.

----------

“So, Mia, tell me how it’s been going?” Professor Dillon asked while scanning his eyes over the notes she had sent him.

Mia shifted on her seat, fiddling her thumbs together nervously, “I-I think it’s been going okay.”

Professor Dillon cast his eyes up, “No need to be nervous, Mia. This is just a chat to see how you’ve been feeling giving therapy.”

Mia nodded and drew a breath, “It’s definitely been interesting, so far.” She forced out, although it was a slight lie. The longer these sessions went on, the more she wished she had that time to study.

Professor Dillon nodded, “Did you really do some exposure therapy yesterday? With the Sinclair kid?”

“Yeah.” Mia smiled, “I-I took him to the library.”

He let out a chuckle, “That’s nice, taking initiative to change it up. I like that.”

Mia blushed a little. She hadn’t mentioned anything Harry had told her in the library, in her notes. She just wrote down that she took him to the library to get out of the familiar room number two. That was two days ago, and she had more sessions in a minute.

Mia tried to listen to professor Dillon, she really did, but what she really wanted was to see Harry.

Their texting had turned into calling and late night talking as she pushed away her studying books and laid on her bed, chatting to him about her day and they discussed Maya Angelou and philosophy.

Hazel had noticed how smiley she had been, and Mia had been briefly introduced to some of Harry’s friends through the phone before he locked himself in his room to get away from them.

They didn’t talk much more about Harry’s confession. Mia wanted to give him time to open up about it on his own terms, but she tried to show that she listened to him that day. Not as his therapist, but as his friend and the girl he was getting to know.

“You think you can almost give him a diagnosis?” Professor Dillon and Mia lost her train of thought, blinking up at him, “A diagnosis?”

“Yeah.” He shrugged, pushing the notes together to leave them in a neat pile on the desk separating them, “Like make some statements, wrap it up a little bit. Therapists do more than just listen, Mia. They give structure to the other person’s thoughts when they can’t do that themselves. People always have a motive for how they behave and sometimes it’s your job to give that motive a name and confront them a little.”

Mia’s throat felt a little dry when she found herself disagreeing completely with him. Harry’s words rang through her mind, about doing stuff because they wanted to. Without reason, without logical explanation. And maybe that wasn’t for others to understand, and maybe that was okay.

“I really think you should try that today.” Professor Dillon pushed, “he’s coming in later, right?”

Mia nodded slowly, “Yes. In like ten minutes.”

“Good.” He smiled, “You should give it a try. Maybe you’re completely wrong, but that’s okay. He’ll correct you if he needs it. I’m gonna actually follow this one along through the monitors if that’s okay. Observe a little and give you feedback afterwards.”

Her brows raised, “You’re going to watch?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, “I do it with all the students, to give them pointers. I’d like to see you try and make a conclusion about his case, though. We’re halfway through his sessions so you should start getting a pretty good grip on this guy’s mind.”

Mia lowered her eyes, feeling almost… yucky doing this to Harry. She didn’t want to. She wanted to enter that room as Mia and talk to him as Mia. As his Mia, the one he liked. She didn’t want to push and confront him, she wanted to give him time. She didn’t feel like Harry needed confronting.

“I mean, I can almost give you on a silver platter what the reason will be.” The professor continued, leaning back in his big leather chair, “It’s almost always the same reason with these kids.”

Mia frowned in confusion and glanced at him, “It is?”

“Mhm.” He nodded before shooting her a brief smile, “Attention.”

Mia disagreed even more, feeling as the crease between her frown deepened while professor Dillon nodded to himself, “You don’t have to teach me about these kids, Mia. I know them through and through.”

She felt herself tensing up and forced him a small tight-lipped smile. They wrapped up the talk and Mia was allowed to leave and head for room two where Harry would be waiting for her.

He was in his usual large grey jumper with the beanie covering his curls. A piece of gum was in his mouth as Harry slowly paced around the room, looking out the window a little as he waited for Mia. His body was bubbling with anxiety that he got to see her again. So far, they had decided to hold off on dating until these sessions were done but with each passing minute he spent with her, he just fell harder.

He wanted to take her out, spoil her, and kiss her until they both couldn’t breathe while running his hands everywhere she’d allow him. God, his hands were itching to just grab her and pull her into him. He craved the feeling of her body, dreaming of how she’d feel, how she’d smell, how she’d taste.

It was driving him completely insane.

So when the door opened and a breathless Mia walked through, Harry couldn’t stop the wide grin from forming on his lips immediately, “H-Hey.” He stuttered. It was almost as if time stood still. Mia wore black skinny jeans and a jumper nearly as big as his. It swallowed her whole and he could see the rolled up sleeves where her fingers just peeked through.

The pink sparkly pen stood out against the dark navy of her clothing and she smiled back at him, “Hi.”

Harry’s smile disappeared a little at her lack of energy, and he immediately tensed up a tiny bit. Mia closed the door behind him and took a short glance at the camera in the corner of the room before she cleared her throat and moved to her seat, “Just so you know, professor Dillon is watching, and listening along.”

A soft chuckle left Harry’s lips, right away understanding why she was a little more distant. He nodded at her words, especially the emphasis on the word listening. Both Mia and Harry knew that this was a great opportunity for him to have her squirm a little. To put her through the wringer, to ask her difficult – probably sexual – questions and mess with her.

But Harry’s heart had grown twice its size since meeting Mia and he didn’t have it in himself anymore to play with her while so much was at stake for her. For him, this was more or less a joke – these therapy sessions that the school forced him to do – but for Mia, she needed the extra credit.

So Harry just nodded and sat down, “Alright. How are you?”

Mia smiled up at him, eyes lingering on the way his jaw flexed with each nibble on the gum, “I-I’m good. You?”

Harry smirked a little and leaned back in the chair, “Great.”

He blamed the nerves for Mia not offering him tea this time, and they pretty soon just started talking about everything. Mia asked him how he had experienced going to the library earlier this week, and Harry came up with some bullshit story about facing that broken bookcase and feeling bad about what he had done.

Mia could hardly hold her laughter, because the both of them knew they didn’t even go see the bookcase. They stayed on the first floor by Mia’s study spot and stared out the window as Harry spilled his childhood trauma on her. And they held hands. Harry felt like that was a very important piece of information to add.

They chattered for at least half an hour, Mia having a much more professional attitude this time. But it also could’ve had something to do with the fact that Harry wasn’t constantly flirting with her or making her blush.

Mia shifted, changing her legs around as she clicked her pen twice, “So – uh… we started this way the first session, and now that we’re about halfway through… I wondered if you’d given any more thought as to why you did what you did?” She questioned.

Harry frowned and thought of it for a moment, remembering they had that discussion the first time they met. He nibbled his lip and shrugged, “Not really. I still think I just did it because I wanted to and felt like it. No underlying motive.” He joked a little and Mia forced him a small smile, but she looked nervous.

Mia clicked her pen again and then drew a breath, “Well – we’re always trying to find a motive.” She spoke with a little bit of instability in his voice, “S-So I was wondering if it’d be alright with you if I tried to voice one.”

“A motive?” Harry raised his brows in surprise and Mia nodded shortly, “Yes.”

He chuckled, “Sure, knock yourself out.”

“Okay.” Mia breathed, biting down on her lip again as she stared at her lap. She took another breath and lifted her eyes to look at me, a certain emotion behind her eyes as she swallowed, “I-I think… uh… I think you wanted to feel seen.”

Harry stiffened slightly in the seat, not moving or saying anything as there was a short silence between the two. Mia gazed up at him and then continued, her fingers nervously clasping together, “I think you wanted to feel seen, and m-maybe that’s why you acted out? Or did something you knew would stir some… reaction.”

Harry felt his frown deepening, his heart rate picking up as he couldn’t really react. Mia slumped in the chair a little as she took another shaky breath, “I think you’re acting out because you never felt seen. B-Before.” She stuttered.

And he snapped. He knew what she was referring to. And the worst part was, that she was right. Harry had never felt seen as a child. Growing up with a disabled brother who required care around the clock, most of his parents’ time and attention went to Edward. Harry was always sort of trailing behind, doing his own thing, growing up very quick to help care for his brother.

They never had much issues with him because he was responsible from a young age, but they also always assumed he was just fine. That there was never anything wrong with him, that Harry never felt bad. Which he did, he just felt like there was no room to show it. So he didn’t.

He never felt seen. And Mia thought he fucked someone in the library as a cry for attention from a childhood trauma.

“Stop.” He murmured, and Mia closed her mouth immediately. Her hands were white from gripping the pen so hard as she blinked at him with sorrow washing through her face, “H-Harry, I’m –“

He cut her off. Not with words, not by saying anything, but by briskly getting up his feet and towering over her. He didn’t look at her, only slightly seeing out of the corner of his eye how she flinched at his sudden movement. He yanked his coat off of the hanger and stormed out, leaving the door opened and leaving Mia behind.

His ears were ringing, his breaths were short and he was angry. Not with her, because he could tell she didn’t exactly want to say those things. But she did, and they were the complete truth. Maybe he did act out, do something scandalous to get attention and for people to recognize him and know him.

Maybe he did. He didn’t know. He didn’t want to know. He never wanted to know or be confronted with that piece of information, that his childhood traumatised him to a certain extent while he was already in his twenties. He hated it.

Mia hated it too. She hated what she had said, to the point it made her sick to her stomach. She stared blankly at Harry’s empty chair and reacted quickly, standing up too. In the distance, she heard doors. One signalling Harry leaving the building, the other signalling the arrival of professor Dillon who hurried into the room.

Mia paced around, the notebook that Harry gave her lost on the table and the pen had rolled off to the floor as she stared at him with horrified eyes. His weren’t shocked or surprised though, he shrugged, “That can happen. Don’t beat yourself up over it. It means you were right.”

It didn’t make her feel any better. And Mia did beat herself up over it. She shook her head sharply, “N-No. I don’t… this isn’t for me.”

“Mia.” He frowned, “You can’t always please everyone. And that’s okay. People run away from the truth, it’s too confronting. He knew you were right and couldn’t handle it, so he ran.”

“But I hurt him.” She squeaked out, knowing full well professor Dillon would never understand her emotional reaction. He must’ve thought she was being so dramatic as he frowned at her and then just shrugged, “Maybe. But that’s part of life, isn’t it? C’mon, your next appointment will be here in fifteen minutes. You did good, by the way, bringing it to him. Maybe a little more confidence, next time. Don’t say ‘I think’ so much.” He advised.

Mia was a little baffled, wondering how he could just leave her in the room as his student when he could tell she was struggling so much. Mia paced around some more, reaching for her phone to try and reach Harry. Most of all, she wanted to get out of here. She wanted to find him, look for him. Mia felt like she had to find him.

He didn’t answer the call.

So she struggled through the next two appointments, trying to listen to what they were saying. She didn’t want to fail this class, she really didn’t. She needed the extra credit and she needed the feedback from professor Dillon, but her thoughts were scattered and all pieces were with Harry.

Where he was, who he was with, what he was thinking. If he could talk to someone. If he hated her. If she had managed to screw this up.

The second the final girl was out of the room, Mia gathered her stuff and practically ran out. She didn’t wait for professor Dillon’s feedback, she didn’t wait for him to criticise or praise her. She had to find Harry. So Mia was on a mission.

She knew he lived on the campus grounds, in one of the student homes. She marched up to the large buildings, trying to figure out if any of them screamed ‘harry’ to her, but unlucky for her they were all red brick buildings in the exact same shape. She sighed, scratching her forehead as a slight drizzle started.

Mia’s eyes were drawn to the library building and then it clicked. Harry said he could see his student home from the library window. She squinted, trying to count the floors and the windows until she figured out there was only one building he could see from the library.

So she hurried up to it, yanking open the door to quickly scan the names on the doorbells. She quickly winced when realising no one wrote a serious name on the bells.

After reading fart, testicle one and testicle two on one of them, she gave up. None of them had Harry’s first or last name on them, so she had no clue. There were about sixty doorbells here.

And then she saw him. A boy she recognized. Her brain brought her back to the night at the bar on Friday when she had sat down with Harry, having a drink. At one point, the entire bar jumped up and turned to face this one guy, who had dropped a billiard ball hard on the wooden floor by mistake and blushed furiously at the sudden attention.

It was him. He was Harry’s friend. They had been playing pool when Mia arrived.

She swallowed her nerves for having to talk to someone unknown and quickly walked up to the guy who was scrolling on his phone. He looked like he was about to leave but waited for the drizzle to end.

“H-Hi.” She stupidly spoke. He lifted his head and raised his brows, “Hey, wh – oh.” His face contorted in realisation before breaking out into a grin, “You’re Mia, right?”

It was her turn to blush as she stared at him before nodding, “I-I am. Yes. Hi.”

“Hi.” He chuckled back, extending his hand, “’M Liam, I live with Harry.”

Mia sighed in relief, “Hello. I really need to find Harry. Is he home?”

“Yeah,” Liam nodded, “he is. Came home like two hours ago.”

Mia nodded, “Okay. C-Can I go see him? God, he must be so angry with me.” She mumbled, more to herself than for Liam to hear, but he did and frowned either way as Mia continued, “I said something horrible.”

“Oh, love.” Liam crooned, shaking his head, “I’m sure it’s alright. He won’t be angry and he definitely doesn’t hate you. You’re kind of all he talks about.”

Mia blushed again, but the pit of guilt was way too heavy in her stomach to really hear what Liam was saying. He eventually shot her a smile, “It’s on the fourth floor, apartment number 46.”

“Thank you.” She rushed out, turning around and hopping into the elevator. She reached the fourth floor quickly and hurried out, scanning the apartment doors before coming to a stop in front of number 46.

The six was a little crooked on the door and she pressed her lips together, knocking on the wood.

It only took about seven seconds for the door to open, revealing Harry.

He frowned in surprise to see a panting Mia standing outside his door. He had taken off his beanie ever since coming home, and for his own comfort – and it was something he did when he felt bad – he had changed out of his jeans and put on some sweats.

Mia was breathing heavily and her eyes were wide, and Harry was too shocked to see her here, to even say anything. He had seen her missed call, but hadn’t answered on purpose. He needed to cool down first, deal with his emotions and feelings before hearing her apology which he knew for sure was coming.

He had already seen it in her face before she even spoke out the words. She had been apologising through her eyes before even saying anything back in that therapy room.

“Harry.” She murmured, nervously shifting on her feet as she shook her head, “I-I’m so sorry.”

Harry could see the tears springing in her eyes as her bottom lip quivered and he quickly lost his frown while taking a step closer to her, “Mia, hey… it’s okay. I know you had to say it because he was listening, I know you didn’t want to."

“Y-You did?” She squeaked softly, sniffing once, “I feel so bad, Harry. I never meant to hurt you.”

“You didn’t.” He softly chuckled, endeared by how emotional she felt and how much this had been eating her up. He gently reached for her forearm to pull her into the apartment. The door closed behind them and Mia continued sniffing.

“Love.” Harry coaxed, “Please, don’t cry.”

Mia lifted her watery eyes and quickly nodded, “S-Sorry. You’re right.”

“Don’t have to apologise.” He shook his head, reaching for her hand, “It’s okay. I’m fine. ‘M sorry for running out and for not answering your call.”

“No, no,” She shook her head, “you had every right to do so. I’m sorry that I made you feel bad.”

Harry took another step closer to her as they had their hands entwined, and he gave hers a gentle squeeze before swallowing thickly, “The only reason I felt bad, was because you were right.”

Mia’s head came up, her light blue irises staring up into him. Harry could see the small tears on her waterline and the soft pink of her nose, “Do… Do you want to talk about it?”

Harry softly shook his head, “Not really.”

“Okay.” Mia whispered before sniffing once more, “C-Can I give you a hug? Hugs always make me feel better when I’m a little down. Hazel gives great hugs. Maybe they can make you feel better too.”

Harry had never been much of a hugger. He wasn’t a very affectionate person in general. Physical contact made him a little squeamish. But with Mia, he wanted nothing more than to wrap her in his arms. He sighed out softly and nodded, “Yeah.”

She dropped her bag and stood up on her tippy toes before hesitantly wrapping her arms around his neck. Harry bent down a little, circling them around her waist. He closed his eyes, feeling her wetted coat beneath his palms but also feeling the heat radiating from her through the fabric. He pulled her into him, flush to his body and Mia bent and moved along to fit his shape.

Her chin was on his shoulder and Harry sighed out again, leaning down a little bit more to nuzzle his nose into her clothed shoulder. He had been right when dreaming about her. Her scent was everything he had expected it to be. Cinnamon, floral and pure warmth and comfort.

Her body had been everything he had expected it to be, fitting perfectly with his as they merged together easily. His palms engulfed her back whole and her arms were tight around his neck.

He wasn’t sure if the hug was more meant for him or her, who it was really supposed to help feel better. But he knew it did wonders for him. He melted into her touch, legs liquifying the longer they stayed like that. With closed eyes, they were engulfed completely into one another and none made the attempt to even get away.

“I’m asking Dillon to transfer me to someone else.” Harry eventually mumbled into Mia’s shoulder.

She sharply pulled back, a look of confusion in her eyes, “A-Are you still angry?” She whispered. Harry chuckled and shook his head, bringing one hand up to brush a strand of hair away and tuck it back into her braid, “No, ‘m not. But I can’t wait another four weeks to take you out.”

Mia grinned wide, biting her lip to hide it as she blushed a little. She buried her face back into him and Harry chuckled when they resumed their hugging position.

“Tomorrow?” He whispered softly, “Will you go out with me tomorrow?”

Mia smiled, squeezing her eyes shut in excitement as she wanted to jump up and down, “Yes.” She squeaked.

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