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randomshyperson · 3 years

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Wanda Maximoff x Reader - Sorry for your loss - Part III "I will get better"

Serie Masterlist here || Part II| | Read on AO3

Summary: When your wife Natasha passes away in a car accident, a part of you dies with her. It takes a few months of mourning for your psychiatrist thinks the best alternative is for you to join a grief group. And there you meet Wanda Maximoff, and learn to live again.

Warnings: (+16) mentions of death, panic attacks and anxiety, grief, self sabotage, mentions of abusive family background, mutual attraction pining, explicit consent, therapeutic conversations about death, self-deprecation, healthy methods of coping with grief, possible triggers about anxiety, domestic Wanda, hurtful behaviors.

Tag list: @imapotatao / @aimezvousbrahms/ @ensorcellme/ @helloalycia / @mionemymind / @abimess / @stephanieromanoff / @yourtaletotell / @tomy5girls / @justagaypanicking / @thegayw1tch / @idek-5

//-//

Chapter III - I will get better.

Your mother has an insinuating look on her face when you wake up after hearing noises of voices and walk to the kitchen, finding her sipping coffee on the table. With Wanda.

"H-hey." You greet clumsily, your sleepy brain had completely forgotten that the redhead was in your house.

"Good morning honey." Your mother said, her gaze following you all the way to the cupboards and as you served yourself. "I was just telling Wanda how I've been suggesting that you schedule a coffee so we could get to know each other, and what a coincidence it is that I come home and find her lost in my kitchen."

You yawn, shrugging your shoulders.

"Yes, fate is incredible." You mumble sarcastically, and your mother laughs lightly patting you on the arm as you sit down next to her at the table. "Did you sleep well, Wands?"

The redhead looks up at you and smiles as she nods. You stare back for a moment, but feeling your cheeks flush, you look away to your coffee.

"How was your date, Mom?" You ask next, not missing the opportunity to tease her.

"How was yours?"

You choke on your coffee, and your mother laughs. You don't risk looking at Wanda after that joke. But your mother is quick enough to change the subject.

"I need to talk to you about something, by the way." She comments stretching her arm to reach for the work case she left on the empty chair at the table. "Darcy came by the store yesterday afternoon, looking for you."

You frown in surprise, turning your head to look at your mother. She rummages through the files inside her bag, and then pulls out a red folder, handing it to you next.

"What's this?"

"Your contract."

You blink in surprise, and then open the folder. Running your hand over your face momentarily, you sigh.

"Mom..."

"Honey, give it a try." Your mother pleads touching your shoulder. "You are so talented honey. It would be so nice if you would write again."

You laugh humorlessly, running your hand through your hair. Taking a deep breath, you close the folder.

"I'll think about it."

Your words are far more than anything you have done regarding work in many months, so your mother lets out a contented exclamation and gives you a kiss on the cheek, making you laugh.

"Now, let's change the topic, okay?" you ask clumsily, making your mother laugh. She straightens up in her chair, and you look at Wanda quickly, blushing at the fond look in her eyes in your direction.

"Tell me, darling, what do you do?" Your mother asks Wanda. You go back to eating, holding back a giggle. You knew that now your mother would interrogate Wanda the same way Pietro did you, but she was far less subtle than the man was.

Several minutes later, Wanda managed to evade questions when she said she needed to go home, and you nudged your mother lightly in the ribs to get her to leave the other woman alone.

You stood up, grabbing the pots and pans from the table to take to the sink before walking Wanda to the front door while your mother pretended to read the newspaper while watching you two.

"Thank you for letting me stay the night." Wanda said at the door. You smiled, telling her it was okay. She hesitated next, and then moved closer, kissing your cheek good-bye. You nodded dismissively as she walked away, a silly smile on your face as you closed the door after she returned to the car parked in the driveway.

"I liked her." Your mother says as soon as you close the door. You give a short laugh, turning to go back to your room and take a shower. "Don't let that one get away."

"I'm not going to talk about this." You tell her with a mixture of embarrassment and impatience, looking back. Your mother laughs, glancing back at the paper.

//-//

Non-Reader Pov’s

Wanda sighed as she opened the door to the house. The boys were with Pietro, because they had insisted on spending the night after the party. And honestly, Wanda was so tired that she didn't even argue.

Erik was in the living room and didn't take his eyes off the newspaper when his daughter entered the room, throwing her shoes in the doorway and her purse on the couch.

"Should I ask where you spent the night?" he says with a slight hint that makes Wanda's face heat up, but she just continues toward her own room.

"Please, don't." She asks embarrassed, and Erik smiles, not speaking again.

After taking a shower, and getting dressed, Wanda stared at herself for a few moments in the mirror. You are fine. Everything is fine. She repeated these words a few times before leaving the bathroom.

When she returned to the living room, her father was still in the same position, but this time he lowered the newspaper to look at her.

"Honey, I ended up not meeting the friend you said you were bringing to Luna's party yesterday." He counters and Wanda presses her lips together as she goes to the kitchen, starting to sort the ingredients for lunch. "Pietro told me she left early."

"Yep." Wanda agrees a moment later. "It was my fault really. But it's okay now."

"I'd still like to meet her."

Wanda grumbles in agreement, washing some pots. Erik gets up from the armchair, walking over to the counter.

"There is something else I would like to talk to you about." He continues as he rests his hands on the marble. Wanda murmurs signaling that she is listening, but does not turn around. Her father sighs before speaking. "I need to get back home."

One of the pots slips from Wanda's hand, making a noise, but she catches it before it breaks. With a racing heart, she wipes the soap from her hands and the pot, and then dries her hands with a cloth, turning to look at her father as she rests her back against the sink.

"R-right." She agrees with tears in her eyes, but forces herself to smile. Erik looks at her with concern and guilt, but still stands firm as he says.

"Wanda, it's time." He says. "Charles misses me, I can't stay here forever."

"It's okay, papa." Wanda adds in a hoarse voice. She clears her throat lightly, trying not to despair at the thought of being home alone for the first time since Vis died. "I'll be fine."

Erik went around the countertop, moving closer to his daughter to place his hands on her shoulders.

"You can call me anytime you want." He says tenderly. "This is your home, Wan. You'll be able to make it. I'm sure."

Wanda nods, letting the tears flow. Her father hugs her next, and she responds, relaxing against his grip.

Erik breaks the embrace a moment later, smiling at his daughter before pulling away.

"I need to get things organized." He says. "When Pietro arrives with the boys, tell him I need a ride."

"You’re leaving today?" Wanda asks in surprise, and Erik sighs as he agrees. She swallows dryly, nodding frantically in assent.

Her father turns toward the second floor, and Wanda rests her hands on the countertop, taking a deep breath.

She tries not to be too anxious about the fact that starting tomorrow, when the kids go off to school, she will be all alone at home. Actually alone.

//-//

Reader’s Pov

Leaving your monthly appointment with Agatha, after spending an hour telling her about all the progress since you last saw her, you were quite hungry.

You hadn't spoken to Wanda since the day before, but when you thought about texting, you were surprised to realize that she had tried to call you while you were in therapy.

Dialing her number, you waited for her to answer.

"Hey, sorry, my cell phone was off." You say as soon as she says "Hello," slightly worried that it was important. "What did you want?"

" To see you." She says simply, and you ignore your quickened heartbeat. "I...I've been sitting in my car for ten minutes. I can't get into the house."

You frown at Wanda's tearful tone.

"What happened?"

"I just..." She starts half breathlessly. "My dad's not here. I dropped the kids off at school, and I don't...I don't want to be alone."

Your heart breaks for confession, and you shake your head.

"Wands, take a deep breath okay?." You ask her. "Send me your address."

"No, you don't have to..."

"Wanda." You interrupt with a short laugh. "I don't mind, really. Let me help you."

The woman on the other end of the line sighs heavily, and then thanks you. You smile when she hangs up and there is an address on the message app.

//-//

It takes about half an hour for you to arrive, and you walk slowly to the car parked outside, tapping the window lightly to attract Wanda's attention.

She is briefly startled, distracted by her cell phone, but smiles when she realizes it is you, then opens the door and steps out to hug you. You ignore the feeling of how good it is to have her against you as you respond.

"Everything okay?" You ask softly, and Wanda denies it with her head as soon as she lets go of you. You bite the inside of your cheek, unable to resist stroking her cheek for a moment before pushing your hand away.

"I can't get in." She confesses with water-filled eyes as she leans against the car. You sigh, standing next to her with your back to the metal. Her hand slips into yours, but neither of you say anything about it.

"Why not?"

Wanda is silent for a moment, and you imagine that she is not going to answer. But she does.

"Vis bought this house for me." She begins, and you resist the urge to wipe away the tear running down her cheek, imagining that your touch might intimidate her into shutting up. "I never...I never thought I would live in it without him."

"Is that why you asked your dad to move in with you?" you question.

"I think so." She murmurs. "I...I didn't want to be alone here. I mean...I have the boys. But they stay with Pietro so much, and there's school and karate, and music class. When Vis was alive, he worked from home, and I always had company." She explains. "Dad is retired so he’s always around, and he didn't mind staying. I don't think I've been alone here in eight months." Wanda sniffles softly, wiping away tears. "But his husband needed him to come back, and Charles is right to ask. Dad can't keep babysitting his grown daughter who can't put her life together."

"Don't talk like that." You interrupt by squeezing her hand lightly. Wanda shakes her head, running her hand through her hair and taking a deep breath. "Wanda?" You call out to her after a moment, and wait for her to look at you. "Do you want me to come in with you?"

She looks at your lips for a moment, but your head is elsewhere, so you just smile. Wanda nods in agreement.

After you help her get the groceries from the car, you wait behind her until she opens the door. Wanda takes a deep breath, and turns the handle.

Her house is very nice. Clean and organized, although the common characteristics of a house inhabited by children are visible. Wanda leaves a paper bag on the countertop and helps you with the one you are carrying, picking it up and placing it next to the other.

"So?" You ask with your hands in your pockets, looking intently at Wanda, who is trembling slightly as she puts away the items in the kitchen. "Wands?"

"I just..." She begins half impatiently. You don't get affected however, standing your ground. "I don't want you to leave."

You let out a short laugh, feeling your face heat up.

"But I need to go eventually." You say shrugging. "But while i'm here, why don't you show me around? I'll spend the afternoon with you until the boys arrive. But someday you'll need to do it alone."

"Like you moving back to your apartment?" She retorts bitterly and you blink in surprise, and Wanda is already assuming an apologetic expression, but you laugh and she looks at you with confusion.

"Ouch." You joke. " All right, smarty-pants. That was mean. But it's okay, I'm not mad." You assure her approaching as you take your hands out of your pockets to raise them to Wanda's shoulders. " Let's make a deal then?"

"What?"

"I'll keep you company at your place ." You say. "And you help me with my apartment?"

Wanda looks at you a moment, thoughtful. And then she smiles, nods, and circles her arms around you, burying her head in your neck. You don't mind that this hug lasts much longer than a hug between friends does.

//-//

You are laughing at a funny story from Wanda's college days when the front door opens and three small children come running in, throwing their shoes and backpacks on the floor. Pietro is surprised to see you too as he walks in and closes the door.

"Look who's here." He comments with a smile approaching to greet you. "How are you?"

"Good, Pietro." You reply gently. "And you?"

"Yeah, it’s all fine." He says looking at Wanda for a second. "Everything okay around here?"

Wanda bites her lip, looking away to the floor before speaking.

"She's keeping me company."

"Okay?"

"Because papa's not home." Wanda adds, and it takes a moment for Pietro to understand. He exchanges a look with you, but smiles, squeezing Wanda's shoulder for a moment before the boys join you all.

"Hello, who are you?" One of the boys asks, who hugs Wanda's right leg.

You bend down at his height, extending your hand.

"I'm your mommy's friend. You're Billy right?" You say and the boy looks quickly at his mother before shaking your hand. You shake very quickly and repeatedly without squeezing making him laugh as you tell him your name.

You turn your face to the other boy, hugging Wanda's other leg. "Good to see you again, Tommy. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, thank you." He replies politely, making you laugh.

"Do I know her, daddy?" You heard Luna shyly ask Pietro next as she was hiding behind her cousin Tommy. Pietro smiled, nodding.

"Yes, dear, she was at your party don't you remember?"

"She helped Tommy with his headache didn't she daddy?"

Wanda frowned in confusion, but you didn't notice, your gaze on the child as you smiled. Pietro agreed again, and then Luna approached you.

"Do you want to be my friend?" She asked and you thought your heart was going to melt with such cuteness.

"Of course I do!" You replied excitedly, imitating the hand gesture you made with Billy, drawing a laugh from the girl.

"Let's take her to see our room!" Tommy suggested next, and you let out an exclamation of excitement to play with them. Exchanging a quick glance with the other two adults in the room, you let Tommy and Billy hold your hand and lead you upstairs, Luna following behind.

//-//

Non Reader’s Pov

As soon as the children were completely up the stairs, Pietro let out a giggle that attracted his sister's attention.

"What?" Wanda asked.

"Oh, nothing." He replied with a little smile. And only when he and Wanda were in the kitchen, intent on preparing lunch, did he add. "I like her."

"Shut up." Mumbled Wanda with reddened cheeks, understanding exactly what Pietro meant.

The man laughed again, walking over to stand next to his sister and chop some vegetables while she stirred the pots.

"I'll just say one more thing about it, and I promise I'll wait until you feel comfortable telling me." He says and seeing his sister's lack of response, he continues. "It's really good to see you smiling again. I'm glad you're moving on."

"Pietro..."

"Hey." The man interrupts his sister who looks clearly uncomfortable. He drops the knife he picked up to cut carrots and approaches her, holding her hands.

"There's nothing wrong with that." He says tenderly.

"Stop saying those things." Wanda asks releasing her hands to run her fingers through her hair, sighing as she leaned against the sink, breathing deeply. "I don't... I have the boys to take care of, I don't even have time to think about those kinds of things right now."

Pietro sighs, shaking his head.

"You know what, Wanda?" He begins. "Ever since we were kids, all you've done is take care of someone. You took care of babushka, and mamochka. You took care of me all my life, and then you got married and Vis joined the list too. Then came the twins." He said, and Wanda frowned, not understanding where the conversation was going, but Pietro's firm tone encouraged her not to interrupt. "When Vis died, you needed to breathe, and I really didn't mind helping you take care of the boys. But what about you. Wanda? If you're looking out for everyone else, who's looking out for you?"

"I..."

But Wanda doesn't know what to say. She opens and closes her mouth a few times, and Pietro sighs slightly, smiling to reassure his sister.

"You've been through hell the last few months, Wands." He adds. "There's nothing wrong with wanting some heaven."

"You're getting so cheesy, P." Wanda mumbles with flushed cheeks, causing Pietro to laugh lightly. The woman wiped a few tears from her face, and sniffled before shaking her head. "Come on, enough of this talk. The children must be starving."

"Yes, ma'am."

They prepare lunch in silence for a few moments. It is only when Pietro hands Wanda the cut vegetables to throw into the pot, that she remembers to ask about what happened at the party with Y/N and Tommy.

"Oh, she ran into him in the office." Pietro counters. "I think he was feeling sick again. I found them in the kitchen, eating some hot dogs. You were lucky to find a girl who does very well with children, eh?"

Wanda smiles with reddened cheeks, nudging her brother lightly with her shoulders as she mumbles at him to shut up.

//-//

Reader Pov’s

You sat on one of the twins' beds as they filled your lap with toys.

Doing your best to follow all the lines and get on with the fun, you pretended to drink imaginary tea when Tommy handed you a cup, and made a funny voice when Billy asked you to pretend to be a policewoman. Then Luna asked you to imitate a dragon and you spread your arms, running around the room behind the three of them.

Several minutes later, they got into a game of pretend play and forgot all about you, so you looked around at the posters, not sure if you should leave them alone.

Looking around, your gaze caught the pictures on the boys' dresser, and you smiled as you ran your fingers across the pictures.

You bit the inside of your cheek when you picked up one of the frames, the picture of the whole family in it.

"Careful not to break it." You heard Billy say out loud to you. From the tone, it sounded like something Wanda probably said to him a few times.

"I promise I won't break it." You assure him with a smile, turning your gaze to the photograph.

It is probably the picture of the day when the kids came back from the hospital. Wanda is holding one of them, and a tall, blond man is holding the other baby. They have contented smiles on their faces as they wave to whoever was taking the picture.

"Were you friends with dad too?" Tommy asked suddenly. You were slightly surprised to realize that he had stood up and was standing next to you.

"No, Tommy." You respond by stooping down to his height. "I didn't know your father."

"Did you know he died?" He asked next, shifting his gaze to the floor. You held your breath before letting go.

"Yes."

"Mom said that dying means you don't come home anymore." Tommy said and you felt your heart tighten.

"Yeah, honey."

"I miss daddy." Tommy confesses next, and you feel your own eyes fill with water at the scene. But not wanting to make him nervous, you swallow your emotion and smile weakly to calm him down.

"Yeah, I know you do." You tell him, extending your hand toward him for him to hold if he wants. When he accepts, you squeeze it lightly. "But the people we love never really leave us. When you think of your daddy, you feel a little pain in your chest don't you?" You ask and Tommy nods in agreement. "That's the part of your father in you. The love you feel for him stays inside your chest now. Before, you could spread that love with hugs and kisses and smiles. But now you have to keep it to yourself." You say tenderly, and Tommy seems to absorb your words. Billy and Luna are also listening to the conversation and look at you as they sit on the floor in front of a dollhouse. "Do you understand what I say?"

Tommy nods. "Yes, I'm already five."

You chuckle lightly at the quick response.

"I don't want to keep love in my chest." He grumbles. "I want daddy back."

You swallow dryly, watching the thick tears stream down the boy's face. Your gaze quickly catches Billy's, and he is crying, too.

"I'm sorry, kids." You say reaching out to wipe away the tears of the boy in front of you. "That's how death works. It's not fair, and it hurts. But that's what happens. But you all aren't alone, okay? You can always hug your mommy, and your aunt and uncle, and me too if it hurts too much.”

Tommy sniffles and throws his arms around you. You hug him back, hoping he will calm down. It doesn't take long before Luna and Billy join you.

You want to make them feel better, so you open your arms as wide as you can to squeeze them all together, and wait a few minutes before you make a noise with your mouth like a monster. And it works very well, because the next moment they are laughing.

You let them go so that they run, and you laugh as you chase them around the house. When Wanda yells from downstairs for them to come to lunch, you change direction so that they dash downstairs.

"No running on the stairs!" You quickly warn. "The monster catches those who run on the stairs. You need to go slowly."

The children exchange quick glances and then obey. You pretend to walk in slow motion so that they come down without hurrying. They run again as soon as they get down, making you laugh.

Downstairs, Wanda guides everyone to the kitchen table. You exchange a quick glance with her, putting your hands in your pockets.

"You're going to have lunch with us right?" Wanda asks with a smile. You bite your lip, thoughtfully. "Please say yes." She adds the request making you laugh lightly.

"But then I need to leave." You say with a raised finger in jest, Wanda smiles, nodding in understanding, and taking your hand to pull you into the kitchen.

Neither of you mind the look Pietro casts at your linked hands as Wanda leads you to the table.

//-//

Your week goes by very slowly.

At group therapy on Wednesday, Stephen brings games, and it is as much fun as any other time. Before you leave for lunch with Wanda, Stephen asks to speak with you both.

"I have some questions about your checklist." He says as the gymnasium empties out and you guys help him put the chairs away. "I noticed that you crossed out all the questions about grief." He begins, and you and Wanda exchange a look. "But of course it's okay, it's not a script to be followed really, it's just ideas to break the ice. And you guys are making progress, so as long as it's working for you, it's working for us."

"Stephen you are diverting from the subject." You grumble with your hands in your pockets, and the man laughs.

"Sorry." He says as he finishes folding the metal chairs in the corner of the gym. "I imagine you also realize that you have completed the vast majority of your monthly goals. With the exception of one."

You sigh, looking away. Stephen tries to smile to reassure you.

"I understand that this is difficult for you." He speaks again. "And you should also know that it's not mandatory, okay, but I would like you to try."

You swallow dryly, and it takes a moment, but you nod in agreement.

"I will." You say. "But I need time. I'm not going to drive off the first time."

"Don't worry about deadlines." He interrupts. "Find a way that works for you. Besides, you won't be doing this alone."

Stephen gives you both an encouraging look, and you take a deep breath trying not to overthink his request. When he nods in farewell, Wanda holds your hand and stands in front of you.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" She asks and you smile, running your gaze over her face.

"Only if you stay with me."

She smiles. "I will."

You both walk outside next.

//-//

During the following week, you set small goals with Wanda regarding her house.

Wanda is always home alone in the morning, because the kids go to school. And since you don't do anything at home, you come to spend the morning with her.

On the first day, you leave her house five minutes before the time she usually pick up the kids. You smile, hug Wanda goodbye, and tell her she can take being alone for five minutes. She catches up with you at the front door, shaking as she hugs your back. You don't have the heart to leave her alone after that, and you go with her to pick up the boys at school.

On the second day, you try again. Five minutes of solitude. Wanda is nervous as you walk out the door, but she doesn't follow you. You smile proudly as you leave.

On the third day, you leave ten minutes early. And then fifteen. Then twenty. By the third week, Wanda can be alone for hours. On week four, you don't come.

Wanda calls you, laughing and crying, saying that everything is all right. That she can breathe, and that she is not panicking anymore. And you also cry and laugh while telling her that you are proud of her.

You have started writing again by then.

Because you needed to find something to keep you busy while you were at her house and Wanda worked from home with the administration of the flower shop, and she didn't mind you bringing some books and your laptop to try to write something.

For the first few days you just watched television, occasionally chatting with Wanda when she came to ask if everything was okay and if you were comfortable before going back to her study room. But then you run your fingers through the photographs of the house and get an idea about a small story. It's brief, and simple, but it's sweet and the first thing you've written in a long time. Wanda loves it when you show it to her, and you laugh shyly when she puts the paper on the refrigerator door.

You call Darcy the second week you are helping Wanda. Your colleague is happy to hear that you are working again, and even happier to hear that you will accept the contract. It's a quick thing, and the timing is good, just what you need to get used to again. Wanda sets up a second desk in her office and you smile in appreciation, saying that she would get tired of your presence like this, but she assures you that that would never happen. You enjoy having her company while you write.

Soon you tell her that you are ready to try driving again. And Wanda sighs, saying that she is also ready to go back to the flower shop.

You agree that after she drops the kids off at school, she will pick you up at home with her car, and you will go to the flower shop together. And you can try to drive her car on the way back.

"Everything okay?" You ask Wanda when you arrive in front of the establishment. The flower shop is very nice, even from the outside you can tell. It is a small brown building, with many vases and floral decorations outside, and a sign at the entrance. You can see Monica at the counter through the glass but she is distracted by a customer and doesn't notice you two at the door.

"Yeah, I just...I just need a moment." Wanda clarifies looking at you quickly. She takes a deep breath, and then enters.

"Wanda!" Monica greets you two cheerfully as soon as the customer leaves, and you two approach her around the counter. The woman quickly hugs Wanda, who laughs lightly. "I am so happy to see you here again. And look at that, I think even the flowers have cheered up."

You smile at the interaction, letting your gaze wander around afterwards.

Flowers are not exactly something you know well, but you think they are very beautiful. And you absolutely love photographs of flower arrangements, and flowers in nature.

"And how are you, Y/N?" Monica asks loudly, attracting your attention. You take your eyes off the white flower in front of you to smile at her.

"I'm good, Monica." You reply. "It's good to see you again. Is everything okay?"

"Oh, yeah." She says gently fiddling with some vases. Wanda disappears beyond the back doors, probably getting used to being around again. "It's been pretty quiet today, so I've had plenty of time to look around the web page."

You smile in understanding. You knew that Monica had an online store that she and Pietro ran, but you couldn't remember exactly what they sold, so you didn't comment on it. But you were glad to know that she was taking the time to check out the shop even though she was working at Wanda's flower store.

"Are you going to stick around today?" she asks next, and you put your hands in your pockets.

"I don't really know." You reply. "If Wanda stays then I'll stay."

Monica raises her eyebrows suggestively, impressed by your words. You feel your face heat up.

"B-because she's my ride." You clarify quickly, and Monica lets out a chuckle, turning to take a vase in her hands and move it around the place.

"Got it." She murmurs humorously.

Wanda joins you next, her purse was no longer with her, and you figured she was ready to work then.

"Mon, I'm going to stay in the back today, okay?" She says to Monica, who just nods encouragingly. Wanda looks at you hesitantly. "Is it okay if I leave you alone?"

You laugh lightly.

"Don't worry, Wands." You tell her. "I'm here for you. Do what you have to do."

"I'll keep you company, honey." Monica adds with amusement. Wanda laughs, glancing one last time at you before turning toward the office. You look at the other woman next. "Tell me, have you ever tended a garden before?"

//-//

You are washing the dirt from your hands when Wanda finishes. She was only inside the small office for at most three hours, much less than a normal workload, but you don't say anything and Monica doesn't care either.

After thanking Mon for teaching you how to grow a garden, you say goodbye to her with a kiss on the cheek, wishing her a good rest of her shift, and leave with Wanda from the flower shop. You were anxious because you are going to be in the driver's seat now.

Wanda left the car in the supermarket parking lot at the corner of the place, at this time the surroundings were relatively empty.

You two were standing facing the driver's door.

"Here we are." She said beside you. You took a deep breath.

"Here we are." You repeated her words.

Wanda slipped one of her arms around your waist, hugging you from the side, waiting for you to be ready to open the door. And it took a moment until you did.

As soon as you sat down in the driver's seat, Wanda turned around the car and got in, sitting next to you in the passenger seat.

Your heart was racing, and you were static. When you risked looking down, you had a flash of memories, and your breath hitched and your eyes filled with tears. Wanda noticed, and reached for your hand quickly. You sat there in silence for about forty minutes until you stopped crying.

"Sorry, I'm wasting your time." You muttered breathlessly, and Wanda shook her head, squeezing your hand and raising the other to make you look at her. She stroked your cheek tenderly as she spoke.

"Don't say that. I want to be here and help you." She whispers while wiping your tears with her thumb. "As you have done for me."

You sniffled, trying to smile a little. Wanda just looked at you as you closed your eyes, trying to normalize your breathing.

"Let's try again tomorrow, okay?" Wanda murmurs to you. You gasp slightly, agreeing.

Then you switched places, and Wanda drove you home. You mumbled a thank you, giving the woman a long kiss on the cheek before getting out of the car. You didn't notice how she squeezed the steering wheel and her face flushed when your lips touched her skin.

//-//

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #wanda x you #wandaxreader #wandaxyou #wanda maximoff x you #sorry for your loss #marvel imagines #wanda x yn #wanda maximoffxreader #wandamaximoffxyou #wandamaximoffxfemreader

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gubler-me-up · 4 years

Text

Dream’s in Motion

Request: Hi!! I was wondering if you could do something where the reader and spencer have been friends for a realllly long time & one night on the plane she ends up falling asleep on him or something and all the sudden it makes him realize his feelings & he’s like oh fuck i really like her and he ends up telling her and idk just something really cute??

A/N: Thanks for the request, anon! Sorry this took AWHILE to write omg idek what’s wrong with me. I guess doing marketing work is taking all my creative juices away from me because by the end of the day ya girl be exhausted. That being said I’m glad I finally got to publish this cute fluff! Hope you enjoy!

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!reader

Category: ~fluff~

Content warning: Like one swear word

Word count: 1.7

————-

Spencer walked up to Y/N’s hotel room door to see if she was ready to meet the team downstairs to leave for the jet back to Quantico. He knocked on her door and waited patiently for her to open up. Ever since they became friends five years ago when Y/N joined the team, they’ve made it a tradition to make sure they were both set to leave for the jet to go home.

Y/N opened the door with a huge smile already plastered on her face. She had her to-go back ready in her hand. Spencer smiled and held out his hand to her. She obliged and gave him her to-go bag. From the very beginning he would offer to carry her to-go bag out of courtesy. Before Y/N would refuse to let him carry it because she felt bad but he always insisted he would do anything to make her day easier.

“You’re such a gentleman, Spence. I don’t think I’ll ever get over how sweet you are,” she said as she closed the hotel room door.

He smiled. “You act as if I’m carrying you on my back.”

She giggled. “You might as well be.”

“I would if you wanted me to.”

“I’ll remember that next time I’m too tired to walk to the jet.”

They both laughed as they walked towards the elevator. The rest of the team was probably downstairs in the lobby waiting for them. They were always the last two to arrive which raised eyebrows and raised higher suspicions as to if they were just really good friends.

When they stepped into the elevator, Y/N was telling him something about what she was going to do when she got home but he found himself lost in her eyes. He found himself doing it often lately and felt bad whenever he did because he loved hearing her talk. He loved watching her smile once she remembered the little details in her story she forgot. He loved the excitement in her eyes whenever he had anything to add to her story.

Having Y/N in his life felt like an upgrade to him. They were always there for each other and understood each other deeper than anyone else. He probably spent more hours with her on his days off than he spent alone. The more they saw each other, the happier he was. It was unreal to him because no one person had ever made him feel a sense of euphoria before.

As soon as the elevator doors opened, they both could see the team waiting in the lobby. As they walked up towards them the looks already started to float around. Morgan’s eyebrow squiggled up as he gave Spencer a fascinated look. JJ tried to conceal her smile. Hotch looked at them unimpressed by their tardiness. Spencer and Y/N played every look off as cool as possible instead of trying to defend themselves.

“Nice for you two to finally join us,” JJ said.

“Better late than never,” Y/N said.

“Ten minutes late though?” Morgan asked.

“It’s been 10 minutes?” Spencer asked.

“We’ll discuss your time management skills on the jet. Let’s go,” Hotch said.

“Yes, sir,” they both said.

Spencer sat on the couch reading a book as everyone else on the jet was sleeping. It was the middle of the night by now as they were flying back to the east coast. He didn’t fall asleep like everyone else because someone was keeping him up. Y/N was still fighting sleep as she tried to finish her crossword puzzle next to him. He would quietly chime in here and there to help her out but she wanted to complete one on her own. She was still extremely grateful for his input as her brain slowly shut down.

She yawned for the fifteenth time within the hour. Spencer looked over at her to see her looking blankly at the crossword in front of her. He smiled as he placed his hand on the page. It took her a while to notice which told him she was even more tired than he originally thought.

“Y/N, I think you should get some rest. You’re really tired,” he softly said.

“But I want to keep you company,” she said through another yawn.

He blushed. “You just being by my side is company enough. You don’t have to be awake.”

She looked at him to give him a faint smile as her eyes could barely stay open. Without another word exchanged between both of them, she laid down with her head on his lap. Before she drifted off, she looked up at him with sleepy eyes as he looked at her surprised.

“You’re okay with me sleeping on you right?” She asked.

He nodded his head. “O-of course.”

She smiled one last time before making herself comfortable on his lap again. He picked up the blanket and draped it over her. He looked at her to see she had already drifted away. He felt the flutter in his chest again. He usually felt those flutters when they were alone. Even in a plane full of his team members and friends, she was the only one he focused on.

He put his book down and let out a deep sigh as he thought about this feeling inside of him. He looked at her peacefully sleeping on his lap. He liked how she was comfortable with him and he liked he could be the one to bring her comfort.

He sighed again as he took a moment to think about every time he and Y/N were together. The way she would look at him made him feel like the luckiest man out there. Every time they touched gave him a burst of energy. Her whole presence made him feel as if he was on another planet every time.

‘Oh fuck, I really like her,’ he thought to himself.

When he finally came to terms with it in his mind, he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it the whole jet ride. He didn’t even attempt to continue reading. No amount of words in his favourite book could distract him from the feelings he had finally come to terms with.

He looked down at her again. He brushed a piece of hair away from her face ever so gently so she wouldn’t wake up. Even in her sleep she smiled at his touch. He felt his face radiate as he saw her small smile appear and fade as she drifted back off to dreamland.

He stared out into space as he thought about her. He thought about how he would properly express himself to her without embarrassing himself. He didn’t even know if she felt the same fluttering feelings towards him. He pondered the whole way back to Quantico. Was telling her worth risking their friendship? Would she even reciprocate her feelings back to him? He understood if she didn’t but he secretly wished she would.

After a two hour flight, they were finally back in Quantico. It was the middle of the night so everyone was in a hurry to get in their cars and make their way home to get a decent night’s sleep. Spencer and Y/N walked to her car together as they hadn’t parked so far away from each other. Even though she was still tired, her profiler senses were still on point as she saw Spencer gripping the strap of his satchel tightly.

“Is everything okay, Spence?” She asked.

“Yeah, of course,” he said.

“I didn’t sleep on you too hard, did I?” She joked.

“No, not at all,” he chuckled.

“So, what’s up? You think I don’t notice you gripping onto your satchel for dear life or your nervous expression?” She asked.

Spencer immediately stopped gripping his satchel strap so tight and fixed his nervous expression. Well, he tried to. Y/N raised an eyebrow as she wasn’t buying his attempt to avoid her questions.

“Are you trying to avoid answering me?” She asked.

“No, I would never,” he said.

“Seems like you would since you’re doing just that right now,” she said.

“It’s just…it’s hard to express,” he said.

Y/N looked at him in shock. “Dr. Spencer Reid finding it hard to express himself? Unheard of. It must be something really complex.”

“You can say that,” he said.

As they reached Y/N’s car, she grabbed his hand which had found itself back on his satchel strap. She held his hand close to her and he could feel his palms getting sweaty. He felt his face getting hot again as well as she looked deep into his eyes with that smile he loved so much plastered on her face.

“Well, you can attempt to express it to me,” she said.

At the moment she said those words, Spencer found his hands grip the side of her face and pulled her into a kiss. Y/N didn’t even pull away to question it and wrapped her arms around his neck to let him know the kiss was well received. As they parted lips, Spencer looked at her with a face coloured deep red. Y/N giggled at how flustered he looked.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t even know-”

“That was really hot. Like really, really hot.”

Spencer looked at her in shock. “Really? It wasn’t weird or awkward?”

Y/N shook her head. “Not at all. I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long while but I’ve been too chicken to do it.”

“Really? You like me too?”

“Like? I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you, good doctor.”

He chuckled. “Maybe we can discuss us over dinner sometime?”

“Only if we can do more of this.”

Y/N embraced Spencer in another quick kiss to seal the deal. When they parted Spencer couldn’t help smiling widely as he looked at her. He stroked her cheek as he got lost in her eyes.

“We can definitely do more of this,” he said.

“Finally,” they heard JJ and Morgan shout.

They turned to see they were both walking by on the other side. They gave them two thumbs up each with overjoyed looks on their face. Spencer and Y/N giggled as they watched how excited they were for them. They both knew they weren’t the only people who were waiting for a move to be made.

—–

Tagged: @shadyladyperfection, @slutforthegubes, @pinkdiamond1016, @spencerreidsthings, @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto, @slutforsr @bxtchboy69, @fallinallinmendes @haihappen5 @mgg-theprettiestboy @siltuz-png @ptrs-prkrs @tclaerh @agentadhd @alexmarie29 @closetedreidstan @mac99martin @blxckhearthood @jesspavlik0vsky @katexrichardson @keniaasf @reidbuck @corishirogane3 @thegoddamncrazycatlady @keniaasf @pastelbabygirl19 @shadybagelsludgecolor @bootycrackraisinjuice @vintagebeauty1496 @bluerose512 @laneybobeczko-g

MASTERLIST

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jean-kayak · 3 years

Text

Show Him Who You Belong To

Summary: How else is he supposed to show him that you’re something he won’t ever have?

Pairing: CEO!Porco Galliard x black!fem!reader

Warnings: smut (18+!!), unprotected sex, voyeurism, fingering (f), window sex???

Word Count: 1953

A/N: Jeez louise, this fic is late lmfao, but this is for @welcometotheclubhoe all around the world collab, and this is my first collab so I was really excited to write this, hope you guys enjoy, and idek if this is going to show up in the tags, but oh well, I wrote it lmfao, so here it is.

Porco's proud of a lot of things in his life. Only being twenty-four and already the CEO of his own company is enough to be proud of. But even for a while, Porco's known himself to be a little bit greedy. How could he not be? And it's only fair to him to treat himself every once in a while.

That's where you come in.

You're a CEO as well, your business a little bit smaller, but you don't mind it, and Porco doesn't discredit your hard work at all, he knows you've had it harder. He met you a couple of months ago at a coffee shop he almost always goes to.

To say he was drawn to you would be an understatement. He wasn't expecting your relationship to go down the casual sex route, but it's the path that it took, and who he is to deny that? Well, apparently there's one person who wants to change that.

Porco doesn't even bother trying to remember his name, Eric, maybe? He couldn't care less about him, the guy only concerned about what's new with Porco just so he could do whatever he's doing. And annoyingly, you're now on that list.

He tried to keep you away from him and vice versa, but today just wasn't his day, and it was just his fucking luck that you both ran into him in the lobby. The moment the elevator doors opened and his eyes landed on him, he tried to quickly shuffle you out of the door, but that fucker is so fucking persistent, Porco didn't even get the chance.

"Porco, just the guy I wanted to see." He rolls his eyes, sighing in annoyance as the guy claps him on the shoulder.

"Crazy that it's not mutual," he whispers under his breath. "What d'ya need?" he asks impatiently, and he clenches his jaw when he turns his attention to you.

"Well, for starters," he says, holding his hand out to you. "I'm Eric, and you are?"

You chuckle lightly as you slide your hand into his as you tell him your name, Porco's hand balling into a fist. "That's such a beautiful name," he compliments, making Porco roll his eyes again.

"Thank you. It's nice to meet you."

"It's only a shame that he met you before me." He laughs after his words, signaling to you that it's a joke, but to Porco, it's a threat.

"Okay, that's enough for the introduction," Porco cuts him off. "You said you had something to do, right?"

"Oh yeah," you say. "It was nice meeting you, Eric. And I'll see you later, okay?"

Porco returns the smile you give him, saying goodbye to Eric before walking out of the door, two sets of hungry eyes on you as you leave. "You and her a thing?" he asks, his voice rising a little higher as he tilts his head mockingly, and Porco felt his patience fly out the window the moment his eyes landed on him.

"The fuck do you want?"

He just laughs softly as he holds his hands up. "Hey, relax. It's just a question," and he's never wanted to smack a smile off of someone's face so badly, but then he's walking out, ending the conversation.

That fucking prick.

He knew this would happen once he finally figured out who you are. Porco had a very unpleasant surprise when he came by your office to find him there. It's fan behavior, honestly, the thought making Porco laugh. Everything that he does, the guy always tries to one-up him, it's hilarious. Really.

Sadly for him, you are something that he'll never get.

Porco knows he does it to get under his skin, and usually, he doesn't let it get to him. But this was one time where he just had to.

"What was so urgent that I had to come here again?" you ask, softly closing the door behind you as Porco walks around his desk, moving some stuff aside to sit down.

"I can't see you again?" he teases as he grabs your hand, pulling you in between his legs before wrapping his arms around your waist.

You tilt your head, sliding your hands over his shoulders. "Well, you saw me this morning, and this afternoon which is already more than usual," you quip, and he shrugs, glancing at the clock behind you before laughing softly.

"You caught me." The chuckle you were about to respond with is cut off by his lips, the kiss soft but clearly telling you where this whole interaction is going. "Just one more time, 'kay?"

He asks you even though you both already know the answer, your smile matching his as you feel it against your lips, his hands running over your skirt, one hand pulling down on the zipper, letting the material pool at your feet. He squeezes your ass softly before spreading his legs a little wider, turning you around in his hold, your back against his chest.

One of his hands trails under your shirt, rubbing softly across your stomach as the fingers of his other hand glide over the crotch of your underwear. You sigh softly as he plants soft kisses along your neck, his eyes trained on the clock on the opposite wall.

His fingers are ghosting over your clit, slowly, teasingly, like he's waiting for the right moment. And in an instant, the teasing strokes are replaced by two fingers sliding inside of you, making you gasp in surprise. The smirk on his face is hard to wipe off when the short hand on the clock strikes four.

If he knows Porco's schedule doesn't it make sense for it to be vice versa? And yes, his fucking building is right next to Porco's, and he speeds his fingers up as he looks out the giant windows, having to conceal his chuckle when he watches him walk into his office. He starts counting down the seconds until Eric looks through the window, your attention solely focused on how Porco's fingers are enough but not at the same time.

His eyes widen when they look through his window, the buildings close enough to each other for the guy to make out clear as day what's currently taking place in Porco's office. You jolt when he curls his fingers, your hand quickly clamping around his wrist as he uses his other hand to rub at your clit.

Porco feels like he should wave at the guy, you know? Be civil? But it's kind of hard to do that when he's knuckle deep in your cunt. Isn't it?

His attention shifts to you when you attempt to call his name, your high approaching. "Yeah, baby. You gettin' close?" he asks like he doesn't already know the answer, and you try to roll your eyes in annoyance, but his fingers seem to go deeper, ultimately keeping the words from leaving your throat.

He lets the chuckle slip this time, your head falling onto his shoulder, and he nudges your head so that your eyes meet his. He can't help but feel a swelling sense of pride flood his chest at the sight of your glossy eyes, and the only thing that's been inside of you are his fingers.

"Come on, baby, you can do it," he coos against your lips, and not even a second later, your orgasm is sending your body taut, your walls pulsing around him so hard that he has a hard time moving his fingers.

You weakly push at his hand, and he huffs softly as he slides his fingers out of you, but his gaze is right back through the window, shoving your juice-covered digits into his mouth, sucking every last drop, your taste flooding his tongue.

Now, Porco could stop here. It's been made pretty clear, right? But there's no harm in really hammering it down. Yeah?

"How about we put on a show?" he offers, the words whispered against your ear, his hands gripping your hips again and pulling you back into his throbbing erection.

You're still a little dazed, but the loopy smile on your face and the grind of your hips tells him you're not outright opposing. "Oh, yeah? For who?"

"How about you guess," he responds, slipping his phone out of his pocket and scrolling to the contact that he never thought he would tap on. The guy picks up almost instantly, and a nearly hearty laugh escapes Porco. He doesn't say anything, just letting the phone clatter onto the desk before lightly pushing you off of him.

He turns you around, quickly getting rid of your shirt as you fumble with his belt, and before you can even blink, you feel your front half pressed against the cold window, and Porco's dick digging into your ass.

He doesn't move, his eyes on the other guy as his hands push your bra down your chest, cupping them in his palms before rolling the taut buds between his fingers. "Tell him how much you want it."

His eyes never leave the adjacent building, smiling when you buck your hips back, whining softly when he stops you. "Please, Porco, want it so bad. Please fuck me."

The whole situation itself seems to make him even harder, or maybe it's just the fact that he finally shut this guy up. The phone is in his pocket, so the guy probably won't be able to hear much, but him just watching is more than enough.

He doesn't waste any more time, groaning softly as he slides into you, your walls practically sucking him in, and he rests his head on yours as he waits for you to adjust when he bottoms out, the warmth surrounding him almost too much.

When you start to buck against him again, he grabs your hair, pushing you a little further into the glass before rushing out and slamming back in, making you cry out into the room. He backs up just a little, pulling on your hair a little harder, making your back arch just enough to make him go even deeper, your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

"Go on," he starts. "Let him know how good I'm fucking you." The noises you make echo against the window, the lewd expressions on your face plastered against it, accompanied by the slapping of Porco's balls against your ass.

He's not even paying attention to the guy anymore, his eyes on your wetness coating his dick, creamy ring around the base that accumulates the faster he snaps his hips. He knows you're getting close, the rapid and random clenching of your walls is sending him higher too.

He knows speaking really isn't an option for you right now, but he just has to hear you say it. "Who's making you feel this good, huh? Tell him!"

Your nails helplessly scratch and grip at the glass, your mouth falling open as you're on the brink of your climax. "You, Porco, oh god, you. Please! Please--right there!"

The knot in your stomach snaps, the constant hammering at that spot inside of you sending you over the edge as your eyes roll back once again. He moves his hand to your hip to join his other one, his orgasm right behind yours as your walls pulse around him. He cums with a deep groan, his hips snapping against you one last time before emptying himself inside of you.

He lets his head fall back as you both catch your breath, but then he looks back up, making eye contact with him, mouthing four words that he knows he'll really understand from now on.

She belongs to me

Tags: @glittrkink, @that-chick212, @erentoes, @protectpancakes, @pettyluxury (bold couldn’t be tagged!)

#allaroundtheworldcollab #porco galliard #porco galliard x reader #porco galliard x black!reader #porco galliard smut #attack on titan fanfiction #aot smut #snk smut #🛶.hoarny

142 notes · View notes

vbee-miya · 3 years

Text

[when it’s your birthday]

✥︎ multi fandom x gn! reader || m.list

genre: fluff || type: headcanon

warnings: none

a/n: no cause it might be my birthday, but we don't talk about that

➺︎Illumi Zoldyck

➺︎ This man would be the one to see if you’re awake and if you’re not he write you a letter before he would have to leave or what not.

➺︎ But let’s say you were awake. Except to be in bed a little bit longer than usual.

➺︎ He’d definitely make breakfast of your choice.

➺︎ You’re like his little highness/prince/princess. And he would definitely spoil you.

➺︎ I mean it is your birthday so why stress over what gift to give you when he could just give you almost everything.

Neji Hyuga

➺︎ He’s like a simplistic extravagant.

➺︎ The atmosphere of the date is simple but it looks very extravagant.

➺︎ He’d want the day to go everything as you planned. So he’d constantly ask you what you’d want to do. Or offer ideas that he knows you’d enjoy doing.

➺︎ Your birthday is about you so he’d put all your decisions first, not that he hasn’t been doing that already.

➺︎ At the end of the day, he’d ask if you had fun. And if there was anything else you’d need or want to do.

Madara Uchiha

➺︎ He’d be simple with it.

➺︎ Like a happy birthday kiss on the cheek and then he goes off to work or his duties and what not.

➺︎ However he’d let you tag along with him and he’d just be holding your hand as he’s going out and about.

➺︎ He’d end the day with some extravagant date that he had planned out like some time ago.

➺︎ And then he’d take you to like the first place the two of you had your first date. It’s cliché, but it brings back good memories for the both of you.

Orochimaru

➺︎ Literally really simple

➺︎ If he wakes up earlier than you which is most likely the case idek if he sleep tbh. He’d write you like a really simple letter.

➺︎ He’d also probably give you a really simple birthday cake or something before heading off to whatever he has to do.

➺︎ He’d also make sure you end up having an okay day or something.

➺︎ If we’re talking about Boruto era Orochimaru Mitsuki would also give you a little note or something before heading out.

Atsumu Miya

➺︎ He’s probably more excited about your birthday than you are.

➺︎ Morning texts? No he’d rather drag you out of bed and give you a morning hug and morning kisses or he’d pull you closer to him. Same results really as long as he wakes you up first.

➺︎ He’d demand an off day, but let’s say that wasn’t possible he brings you with him. Because to him he doesn’t want you to be all alone especially during your birthday.

➺︎ Because he made you tag along with him expect him to also go to different stores and what nots. Maybe a little cafe if you’re hungry or like some food store that you guys passed by.

➺︎ Didn’t mattered what mattered to him is that as long as you’re happy and having a great day in your birthday he’s a happy boyfriend.

Yelena

➺︎ God I love her. Best girlfriend ever.

➺︎ She’d be like semi awake, but not entirely awake. So if you try to get up from bed you best expect her to pull you back into bed.

➺︎ She’d like hold you and wrap a blanket around you because miss ma’am doesn’t need a blanket and she’d be like “it’s your birthday, so relaxe a bit will you.”

➺︎ But it’s kinda just an excuse to hold you a bit longer and spend more time with you. She would also give you many head kisses and then just shower you with as much kisses she’d deem necessary for your birthday.

➺︎ I mean dates with Yelena are pretty extravagant enough, but I feel like on your birthday she’d keep things on the low and would rather spend as much quality time with you at home.

Wakatoshi Ushijima

➺︎ He’d wake you up with a simple morning text.

➺︎ “Good morning, happy birthday love ❤️”

➺︎ He’s most likely going to have practice or have like a busy day. However he’ll make sure to end early if he must just to spend the rest of birthday evening with you.

➺︎ Cute little dates with Wakatoshi at a very simple restaurant of your choice seems like something he’d do. Think of it as a birthday treat.

➺︎ This man loves you and will probably spoil you with certain goods, however the best gift from him is when he gives you little head kisses while he hugs you.

Armin Arlert

➺︎ He’s romantic and very simple

➺︎ A simple stroll in the park and his whole day is completely brightened.

➺︎ He packs a little cupcake or treat that you both can enjoy. It’s like a little picnic date.

➺︎ As long as he’s able to see your smile he’s happy as well.

➺︎ Because to him you deserve the whole world to be happy and to be unbothered by anything. And because of that he’d earn the best boyfriend award.

Rock Lee

➺︎ He’d be really extra.

➺︎ Constant happy birthday greetings and kisses.

➺︎ He’d be awkwardly romantic. Like he’d try to take you out to some fancy place but accidentally screw things up, but he’d also come up with a plan 2.0

➺︎ And that date would be something he’d be upset about because it’s not as good as the original idea, but quality time with Lee is far better than going to some extravagant place.

➺︎ And then after that you both would crash at each other’s place and he would make both of you like a little fort to sleep in.

Mina Ashido

➺︎ She’s got your whole day planned out.

➺︎ She’s definitely throwing you a birthday party. Best girlfriend ever

➺︎ She’d want to make you feel special and loved. And she’d do everything in her power to make sure you’re mood doesn’t go down hill.

➺︎ She would make sure the party is something not only would the guest enjoy, but you as well. She’d also only make sure to invite people who you’re close to and trust so it’s not some awkward party you know.

➺︎ At the end of the day when you both are cleaning up after the party Mina comes running to you jumping up and down holding a present. And she makes you open it in front of her. And she’s so happy when you tell her it was something you’ve always wanted.

Neito Monoma

➺︎ He’d be lowkey with the “happy birthday”

➺︎ He’d also kind of be a tease and a little ass. Like he’d purposely irritate you, but just enough to not make you hate him entirely.

➺︎ He’d be more on the extravagant side of the date scale, so expect him to tell you to get ready for like an evening date.

➺︎ He’d be lowkey with pda but he’d try to hold your hand and he holds your hand with such pride and honor like yeah I’m dating them.

➺︎ He’d also do everything in his power to make sure no one ruins your day because he’d be an ass about it, but you mean everything to him.

167 notes · View notes

roanniee · 3 years

Text

SO.

Let's try this again🤸🏻

Also Idil vibes strong on this one. I can't say Gil bc Gil calls Ate Sel smth specific like she does with me.

Ship the @mythos-blogs Crew

ps. here's the server <3

@admiringlove

Baby Sam is very hard working and focused on whatever she's doing that sometimes, she forgets to take care of herself. So, I see Sugawara Koushi with her perfectly, someone caring and understanding, but knows better than to let her overwork and tells her when enough is enough. The both of you do struggle with a few things, and when you fight or have insecure moments, you sit down to talk about it instead of shouting at each other. Overall, a really good match I say.

Baby Sam also kins Oikawa and I ship Oikawa hardcore with Suga LMAO

@ninjamomo

Me. That's my wife <333

Okay but for realsies. I ship Idil with Bokuto Koutarou. Bokuto and Idil would be just... soft love. I see dancing in the rain, bathtub relaxation hours together and cuddling in bed. Idil knows that Bokuto is a busy man, and Bokuto knows he is a busy man. But that doesn't mean that they were gonna let the relationship go. Oh no. Those two will hold on like a cat with his claws on the couch. A really really soft, supportive and strong love.

@tooru-luvs

I actually had a hard time with Ms. Zizi. See, I haven't interacted with her much. But, based on the interactions of hers that I see on my tl, I can see that she is very playful but also can be serious. Hence, why I say that she'd be amazing with Kuroo Tetsurou. Kuroo is playful and an overall gremlin, but he's very caring ang knows exactly when to be serious and how serious. He'll help her with anything he can help her with, but he also knows when no to because it's something Zizi needs to do for herself. Likewise, Zizi knows when to be cheery to make Kuroo smile, but also when to sit and talk to Kuroo about a delicate matter. They'd both ground each other, while matching the same playful energy.

@rokudaddie

HEY I CAN TAG HER NOW KSKSKS

ME ME ME ME ME

anyways hehe. Gly. Lovely, sweet, Gly. She's very caring, but my god does she also enjoy chaos. Hence, I'm putting her with Hoshiumi Korai. We all know Hoshiumi is a little gremlin with a heart of gold. The way these two are together would be immaculate. They're chaos together, but even with all the chaos, they have time to look at the other to make sure they're okay. PLUSSS! Hoshiumi will always unconsciously be touching Gly, just to make sure that she's there. Gly would unconsciously make sure that Hoshiumi is in her peripheral vision too.

@moonlit-island

Ooooh Raya! Raya is so damn sweet and caring and uplifting. I love her sm. Hehehe anyway I ship her with Tsukishima Kei. The Tarot cards said so, and so did the zodiac signs. SKSKS Anyway! Yes, a really good match. Raya's got a really good head on her shoulders, but I see her watching all the chaos from the sidelines, much like Tsukishima. When they're together, they'd start the chaos and then sit back and eat popcorn as they watch the world burn.

@laineeey00

Ate Laine? Some will definitely say Kita, because it's Ate Laine, but I say Hirugami Sachiro. Hirugami would be such a good man for Ate Laine. I imagine them sitting down in the living room, books spread out on the table. Just silence while studying, but every now and then, one of them would look up to look at the other, smile and then return back to what they were doing. Ate Laine makes sure that Hirugami takes breaks and Hirugami makes sure that Ate Laine isn't stressing so much. Just so cute honestly.

@betheydocrimewrites

Ah, Adult Sam. Hmmm. Adult Sam is a whirlwind of chaos and sweet, sweet angst. I definitely see them with darling Yamaguchi Tadashi. I see them in bed, Sam on his laptop, and him just hugging them tight when something they were writing was choking them up. But, Sam is just overall an amazing person that they deserve someone so sweet and caring like Yamaguchi. Obvi, it is reciprocated, and I see such a sweet love in the works.

@melsun

Oooh. Alice.

Melian and Matsukawa Issei would make a very interesting pairing. Both independent yet still co-dependent on each other. Melian knows how to calm Matsukawa after a tough day at work, and Matsukawa knows how to keep Melian from stressing. Matsukawa would also hype Melian up so much?? Like any outfit Melian wears, Matsukawa's right there telling them how good and amazing they look and how well they matched the outfit up. Honestly, just a very functional household and I love that.

@lovemeian

oh oof Lavi. I want to say Meian but for reasons I cannot disclose, I won't say that for now. I will say though, that she will be so good with Dabi. Lavi has a few things she needs to work on, and Dabi is always there for her. Actually lbr, they both have issues to work on, but I feel like together, they'd overcome that. I feel like they'd?? Actually be so understanding of each other that it shocks and confuses others bc?? hello it's Dabi?? but yes, a really good match.

@writewithmarites

Me <3

Severus Snape. Ate Tes is chaotic. I'm sorry but her default in the server is chaos, especially with the bot around HAHAHAHA but anyway! Severus would be so good to ground Ate Tes, keep her from getting a little too chaotic BUT ALSO, he can help her when she's not taking care of herself. She also helpes him with his potions, and it makes the job easier on him. But of course, Severus is a slytherin, and most of the time he'd be the one inciting the chaos and we just don't know it. Anyway, Ate Tes is honestly so wonderful and I love her sm and she deserves someone to tame like the serious, bratty, angsty Severus Snape. <333

@saudade-mayari

ME. AGAIN LMAO. <3

ANYWAY

Nozel Silva. Nozel and Ate Sel. Oh gosh what a thought. Nozel is....arrogant, prideful, and he sees himself as someone more important than others. But, the man does know respect and he does care for people, especially Ate Sel. I have no doubts that Ate Sel can make that man kneel and follow her wishes, but I also know that Ate Sel would not let this man get away with his arrogance and pride. Nozel cares for her a lot. She's his partner, the carrier of the future of House Silva, and the only one that has caught his attention. He loves her, and that man would drop nearly everything for her.

@risumu

Eris! Eribabe and Ojiro Aran. Idek why. But the vibes would be so immaculate. I see road trips and early morning dancing in the kitchen to an indie song one of them is hyperfixated on. I also see late night walks to the convenience store, holding hands and just silence? Basking in each other's prescence. Eris definitely steals Aran's sweaters to the point that Aran buys two of his sizes so he can interchange them. One to give to Eris when the one she took doesn't smell like him anymore. Love all over the place.

@sunarent

Mel. That's it.

Okay but also, I see Iwaizumi Hajime. I was thinking about Suna but the more I think back about the things I know about Ali and our interactions, I see Iwa. I feel like they'd understand each other so much. And the love isn't seen much, not because they don't love each other, but because it's something they need to say really. It's more shown in the touches and kisses and cuddling. They know that they love each each other, and that's enough for them.

@tetsvhoe

Honestly I want to say Kuroo but.

Kozume Kenma. Gwennie works so hard and stresses so much. Her sleeping sched is unavailable lmao. Kenma would be so good for her because he knows how it is, to be stressed and not have an actual sleeping sched. I feel like they'd be good together. In all honesty, they'd probably take care of each other more than they would themselves but no one is complaining really.

@slutbench

MY BABYYYY. MY DAUGHTER. I LOVE YOU SM AND I SWEAR I'M NOT MAD.

I ship you with...

Azumane Asahi. Why? Because you remind me of Noya sometimes. Very energetic, a little bit of low moments and just a ball of sunshine in general. Asahi is perfect for you, Mija. He'd be able to just connect with her in ways others just don't understand. People would say that Asahi is too...soft? They'd say someone like Daicho or maybe Bokuto would be better for you, Mija, but really, he's perfect. Asahi and Gil. He balances her out in so many ways, even if no one else can see it.

@ushisrever

NIA!

Ushijima Wakatoshi. Really, the two of them are perfect. Stoic, quiet, can be chaotic. Very protective, even if the two deny it. Nia, you and Ushi are like...pillars? Support? Quiet, unmovable, but still, everyone knows you're both there, and you don't really leave people's minds. I see the two feeding off of each other's energy, especially when it comes to protecting others that they care about. (Looking at you, Lavi) I see hours where it's just her watching him playing in the background and he just looks at her, smiles, and then goes back to playing. It's really cute.

@sumebreaks

MAIA! HI! We haven't interacted much, I'm so sorry for that sweets. bUT BUT BUT!!!!

You're so sweet and caring and loving??? I really see you with Miya Atsumu! I see Tsumu bugging you to take a break and give him attention. BUT! I also see you?? Bugging him, telling him to get off the court or he's sleeping on the couch HAHAHA I feel like you two really just? Connect. Both playful, both caring, both are busy with their own things so there's not too much expectations that cannot be met for now. Idk I really see a love that's always there, no matter how busy they get.

@vindictivtsumu

AAAAAH DEVON HUN!

I love Devon and their writing so much??? Omg. Yknow who would be amazing with them? Akaashi Keiji. Akaashi is very articulate and just overall book smart in my opinion, and I see that him and Devon would fit so well. He is Devon's personal beta reader HAHAHAH BUT!!!!! Devon also watches Akaashi edit and points out anything that he missed. I see days when they're just sitting there, talking softly to each other that the sound of typing was louder. But that's okay bc you both are content and happy and in love.

@ricflairdrip20

I just met you not even 24 hours ago hehehe HIIII

I will not lie.

I asked for help from Ate Sel HAHAHHAHA

But!!!! She says Ukai Keishin, and honestly I see it. The nsfw-rp channel is the reason why and I'm not saying more HAHAHAHA I see nights when it's Keishin and her just? Idk having fun and being kids bc lbr that man can be a kid sometimes. I also see them taking care of each other in unconventional ways, ways that would not be okay for others, but it's her love language with him. V v v domestic.

I HOPE Y'ALL MYTHOS CREW LIKED THAT MATCHING UP BYE

#castledorms #merguest: anonymous #mythos #this is what i do instead of sleeping #this drained my braincells bye

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everything-laito · 3 years

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hey,,, i've seen this controversial opinion about laito not being sexually assaulted by cordelia. . .as the only opinion of laito that matters, what are your thoughts on it? i know you've made some posts in the past about cordelia and laito's relationship, but i think that now would be a good time to i guess, remake a post or clarify your thoughts so people could follow along?? i hope you enjoy your day.

*proceeds to crack all my knuckles at once*

This isn't really my own "response" cuz oh boy I'm sick of this petty ass drama lmao. To begin, SKLDJF I'm very flattered that you hold my opinion in that high of regard! I'd say there's others that have interesting interpretations of him too though :) but again, thank you :') glad you enjoy what I have to say!

I know I've already kinda responded to this via a screenshot here, just to hold you––and others reading this––over. As much as this is a great time to talk about a how-to-analysis, I’ll still put that as a separate post eventually, but I still will go over the philosophy of truth and writings etc. But anyways, to answer your initial questions, they’re under the cut!

And no, I’m not specifically calling anyone out here. These are just issues with the fandom that I find as a whole, along with some extremists. Thus, I’m not going to be putting tags for people to easily find this post because I don’t want to be wound up in this drama––once again this is just more commentary on the fandom as a whole, which hopefully you can apply to people you find!

I have a lot of my own thoughts about Cordelia and Laito’s relationship here (just in case if people need it):

1. Goes over potential grooming of Laito, facts about Cordelia and what happened before she did stuff to Laito, and when did she rape Laito for the first time?

2. Stuff about incest and how any relationship out of a parental/child relationship is abuse even if it’s not penetrative sex, more incest stuff, and just more thoughts on their relationship

3. Neuroplasticity, trauma, Karlheinz, and isolation

4. What does sexual trauma look like? And some stuff on Laito’s facade

5. More stuff on his facade, and projection on Yui

6. My thoughts on Laito’s dark fate vampire ending + Conclusion

7. Answering some inbox stuff relating to Cordelia

Sure I realize I might be missing some stuff but that’s just my whole analysis on them. I’ll probably make some follow up posts eventually but I’m not sure when that will be.

But as for this analysis/ramble, I’ll divide it up into sections:

The issue of hypocrisy in the Dialovers fandom:

I- oh dear god. Ok, just saying, there’s a lot of people being like “oh I hate Cordelia because she was abusive” then ??? yo??? Why do you like the boys?? They’re abusive and we see more of them than Cordelia??? I just personally hate hypocrisy. However, it’s okay to hate Cordelia! It’s okay to love Cordelia! It’s okay to hate the boys and it’s okay to love the boys too. But recognizing that you don’t like one or the other just because “they’re abusive” is a fallacy at that point.

The reason why so many people hate Karlheinz/Cordelia/Beatrix/Christa/Richter (or at least start off hating them) is because they are written as the villains of the story! Karl’s the main villain, and the rest (including the diaboys and Yui) are kinda just tragically wound up in his plans. You sympathize more with the boys because you spend more time with them and watch them grow! It’s a whole “us vs them” situation. Since those people were awful to the boys/the boys hate them, you’re like “yeah they’re bad!” But the issue with the whole “us vs them” situation (as in real life) is that people tend to excuse the actions done by the “us” party.

Same thing goes with extreme Karl/Cordelia/Richter fans (I’ve never seen a hardcore Beatrix/Christa fan but they’re probably out there). Some hate the diaboys but love the people in that party. They’ve also done some shitty stuff too! Bro, even Yui has done some terrible stuff! But that’s because she was a product of the events she was thrown into––and same with everyone else.

Karl has been the mastermind of all this, and for me I don’t have any sympathy for him, mainly because we’re not shown anything to sympathize with (except that he just is tired of living but idk why he wants to create a whole new race like lmao science nerd ig, I feel that king). A lot of people like him for his looks, and I’m not saying that’s a bad thing––he’s a fictional character, objectify these characters however you want. This is more of a personal opinion of mine though. And maybe people do just sympathize with his outlook on life, that’s totally fine.

But since these characters are all attractive in their own regard, they all get the treatment of “pretty-boy” syndrome (Idek if that’s the exact name for it). Which is just the privilege pretty people get. But again, this is fictional, so it’s not necessarily important in this case. Bro I got into DL cuz of “ooga booga hot vampires” and stayed for the complex lore and characters (especially one complex character, wonder who that could be). I imagine most people got into DL because of that, or out of sheer curiosity.

Ok, I’m throwing out a lot of points but not really connecting them. Lemme give you an example: I don’t like Reiji. His character doesn’t vibe with me most of the time aside from the fact that he’s hilarious. But I just am very neutral/neutral-negative on his character. But I’m not like “oh cuz he’s mean/abusive” cuz LOL EVERYONES MEAN IN THIS GAME. Sure you can still say that, it’s just not a very strong claim. Hypocritical claims tend to be like that. Same with a lot of Yui haters. In this case, they’re more jealous that she’s there and not them, which I’ve explained a lot in this post about toxic femininity and Yui in the fandom etc. But it’s ok to just not like a character! It’s alright! I know someone who just doesn’t vibe with Subaru. She doesn’t know why, she just doesn’t vibe with him. There’s no need to defend it either. But the use of hypocrisy is my main issue, and I’ll get to that in the next section.

(There’s a really good post explaining this too but I cannot find it for the life of me. I think it was made by @/abottleofkarlheinz or @/the-madame21)

How opinions of fictional universes left unchecked can effect real life:

I’ve said this a little bit in that Dialover PSA post I’ve made about Yui that I linked a couple paragraphs ago. But the reasons why people say they hate Yui is concerning. If you don’t like Yui, that’s totally fine! Again you don’t need reasons to hate on a character or defend it. But if you do choose to defend those characters, make sure what you’re saying isn’t out of some other place in your heart. Let me explain.

In that “Yui PSA” post I made, I say how your attitudes in being critical of a fictional universe usually does reflect on who you are as a person, at least when you’re making certain claims. In that Yui post, I say that the hatred on Yui is a result of the “other girl” mentality. On top of that, it erases her experience as a survivor. Yes, this is a fictional character, but bringing that into real life can have some dire consequences if you don’t differentiate them. If you have the same attitude of Yui with other survivors if the “abuser is hot” then thaaaaaat’s so fucked up.

For example, there’s people who have crushes on real life serial killers! That- that’s absolutely disgusting! Those real people killed living people and effected so many lives and families. Dude I have fictional crushes on fictional serial killers, and that’s different, because it is a removed universe. It’s why I can still call myself a lesbian but still have crushes on fictional male characters, for a further example (and vice versa! I have straight friends who crush on fictional characters of their same gender! But that doesn’t make them any less straight. And no, I’m not erasing bi people here either, just clarifying in case if you needed that).

Not being able to differentiate your opinions of a fictional universe can get very toxic. Like I love Laito, but I’m not like “omg I wish he was real so he could do that stuff to me uwu” like no!!! UH!!! I wouldn’t want to date anyone like him in real life! That’s literal abuse! And if Laito was here in real life it’s not a controlled environment, he’d literally be able to do anything with you, etc. That’s what makes a fantasy, a fantasy. They’re controlled.

Also vice versa, some people get really triggered by Dialovers, specifically Laito’s route. A lot of non-consensual acts that he does have been experienced by people in real life in any extent, myself included. For me, it’s a personal escape from that, because it is an environment where I am prepared for those events and can control my exposure to it. For some, they are reminded of the reality they had to experience. Fictional universes are inspired by real life, no matter what way you look at it. Real life people are making it, after all.

I feel like I’m going in so many circles, but trust me, I’m getting to the point.

I- I can’t explain this enough but it is most definitely implied that Cordelia had raped and sexually abused Laito. If it was explicit, DL would be an 18+ game, but they cannot do that in Japan. I’m not going to like defend this point because so many people (myself included) have defended this point. It’s implications carry over into Laito’s character and why he’s like this. He’s a textbook sexual abuse survivor. I just,,,, cannot explain this enough. Same thing with overwriting the abuse of Yui. They get jealous of Yui. Sure I’d say a good chunk of people have ravishment fantasies here. At least the 18+ people in the fandom who are into that stuff. But oh my dear god, ravishment fantasies are super super dangerous to enact in real life. It’s possible to do them, but it would take years of building up to that point in kink. That’s a whole other discussion though and I’m not incredibly comfortable talking about it knowing that minors read my blog (I’ll also have to say here: no minors in kink--its alright to educate yourself but pleaaaaaaaaaase don’t enact on any of those activities until you are of age, and even so that still can be dangerous right as you turn 18).

But anyways, saying that Yui should enjoy this because she’s experienced the ravishment fantasy you’ve dreamed of? Oh fucking hell, if you leave that opinion and mentality unchecked and it goes into real life, that’s incredibly awful. Abuse apologists are absolutely terrible people, almost as much as the abusers themselves.

If you twist the narrative that Laito loves Cordelia or Yui loves the boys at the end of the first game, that’s still––ughhhhhhhh. Especially when it’s so obvious that Laito has so many mental issues with Cordelia. His whole monologue and breakdown at the end of Dark Fate definitely tells us that he has had such an issue with Cordelia. And MB+ Laito is still Laito. As for Yui, dude she literally goes through stockholm syndrome in the first game like it is so goddamn apparent idek how to explain this at this point.

Ok dear god lmao wow, uh I think that’s answering the first couple of questions?

The philosophy of truth:

“Truth” has been an incredibly debated topic in philosophy for years. Truth is more of a subjective item rather than objective. Sure you can have personal objective truths, but they may not be the same truths for others. For example, a tomato is red. However, that tomato is red to me, because I am not color blind. A red-green color blind person may see the tomato as being brown or more muted in color. That’s their truth. They can’t really imagine what red is (ok depending on severity of their color blindness), considering they have not experienced the color red in the same way people who don’t have color blindness do. God uh, here’s a whole ass essay about truth, I’m cherry picking some of the things in there that are relevant to this.

Basically what I’m saying is, truth is very subjective. However, there are philosophers arguing a more objective truth. But that’s a whole other discussion. Also, this isn’t to support any political opinion, but I can use that as an example. Let’s go for well... The death penalty. I’m in America, we have the death penalty in some states. Yes, this is a very controversial topic, and no I’m not arguing the ethics of it here. Just hear me out.

If you live in Europe for example (except in Belarus and Russia––ok when I looked it up they consider Russia in Europe and technically it is but also there’s the whole chunk that is not- lmao even the truth of geography can be subjective), you might be like “yeah what the fuck are Americans doing?” (a common sentiment that I also share lmao). But yeah, what the fuck are we doing? Why is the death penalty still in existence? Yes, there’s statistics that prove that it doesn’t deter crime, but even crime rates is caused by a lot of different things too. Even statistics aren’t always accurate, because of many different factors. They’re not objective either, although good statisticians try their best to get good results and not skew the data. (please try to see where your data is coming from and who it is sponsored by––it matters a TON)

I’d say the closest thing we have as an objective truth to argue the death penalty or not is money. Money, although the concept is subjective, is a very objective currency. It’s why artists hate “exposure” compared to “money” as sole currency. The death penalty is very expensive, and not even used that often.

So, although money is currency made by us, and is technically 75% linen and 25% cotton (in America at least) with some funky dudes n numbers printed on it, it doesn’t sound that special. However, it would be considered as a baseline of some type of “objective truth” in ~society~ because people are typically on the same page of what money’s worth. Even so, this baseline of truth is still subjective! If Bill Gates accidentally has a $20 bill fall out of his pocket, that’s nothing to him! But if someone who’s working very hard to make ends meet loses that same amount of money, it could deal a lot of financial damage to that person.

Ok, hopefully you guys kind of get my drift. There are a lot of theories of truth, I’m just explaining one (honestly I forget the name of this theory) because it is the closest to the types of truth we are dealing with. And in this case, it’s called “canon.”

What the fuck is analysis:

The concept of “canon” is the objective truth that we have when analyzing universes. They’re our bread and butter of interpretation and extrapolation. The art of analysis clings to this notion of an objective truth. It needs a baseline. I’m going off of Aristotle’s rhetorical triangle, because that type of analysis I have the most experience with.

This is called rhetorical analysis. Rhetoric is the use of words in a persuasive fashion, and the analysis part is a breakdown of how words are used in order to achieve persuasiveness. I don’t typically use a lot of explicit rhetorical analysis in my personal writings, but I guess a version of it. Which typically has to deal with intention and execution. A lot of analysis on language has to do with this. Language is incredibly subjective. Certain words carry individual meanings to people. I have gone over the difference between real and lexical definitions before, and I’ll do it again.

I’ll just copy and paste what I’ve said before here from this analysis:

To put it simply, lexical definitions are the definitions you find in the dictionary. This is an “official” and “agreed upon” definition. Real definitions (quite a misleading name in my opinion) is the definition that’s more kind of “felt” in a way and how you internally interpret the word in context (these can be through individuals or any niche group). What I mean by this is that when you say a word (for example) to convey a feeling, you usually won’t know the dictionary definition off the top of your head. You say that something’s “savage” for example when you want to describe something violent or gruesomely awesome (it depends if it’s in a slang context or not) but there’s many lexical definitions (and outdated lexical definitions) of the term. But the first definition that usually comes up is “adj (of an animal or force of nature) fierce, violent, and uncontrolled.”

But people typically don’t think of the lexical definition when they learn what a word means; they usually learn the context of it and apply it as such. And that’s what a “real” definition is. Laito has a differing definition of what affection and love is, and that’s his own meaning and what it means to him.

I’ll even add another example to that too. The word “cunt” in english refers to a vagina. That’s just it. It’s lexically synonymous with “vagina,” “pussy,” etc. However, “cunt” has a subjective meaning to it. This is where “real” definitions also come into play. Many people view the word as vulgar and dirty. And that’s cuz we live in a ~society~ lmao. Our use of language has shaped what this word means in a context outside of the dictionary. I’ll do you one more. The Japanese word マン�� (manko) is also vulgar slang that’s kind of like our word “cunt/pussy.” Sometimes I say “cunt” for jokes, but I don’t use it that often to begin with since it’s just a very strong word to most (albeit it’s not that strong of a word for me). However, マンコ is a strong word to many Japanese people, but if I hear it even though I’ve been learning Japanese, it doesn’t have that same effect as hearing “cunt” for me is (which still, idc if I really hear it depending on context) because I haven’t been shaped in a culture that uses Japanese.

Even so, tone, intention, and context is HUGE in this. If someone called me a “useless fucking cunt” when they’re angry at me, I’d be close to crying. If someone told that to me as a joke, I’d be like “lol yeah you right, bitchass” and if someone said that in a consensual sexual context, it would certainly tickle my masochistic heart.

DSLKFJ also sorry if you don’t like hearing that word, I just had to utilize a strong example for this. But anyways, now let’s change the lens to Dialovers.

No, it never explicitly says that Cordelia rapes Laito. It doesn’t. However, there’s this WACKY thing called being able to infer, reading between the lines, and identifying implications. Those are kind of all the same things. However, indirect exposition is used a lot in effective creative writing. The utilization of this type of exposition is more preferred when writing a story, because direct exposition is kind of referred to as “info-dumping” when used excessively. Forgive my jargon: this is just showing vs telling as we’re taught in every writing class. I’m personally very bad at it, which is why I stick to writing these, and stick to reading creative fiction. (NOT SAYING IF YOU’RE NOT GOOD AT THIS TO NOT CONTINUE TO PRACTICE CREATIVE FICTION, I JUST DONT HAVE THE CURRENT MOTIVATION TO GET GOOD AT IT)

Dialovers uses a LOOOOOT of showing. And even so, its “showing” ability is very minimal considering the Japanese language can be vague on its own, it’s medium (visual novel) does not show a lot of things explicitly most of the time (and even when it is shown it doesn’t convey a lot). There’s several CGs of Laito and Yui where it doesn’t show the amount of pain or the dire situation Yui’s in, compared to what she’s saying she’s going through.

When I made my whole breakdown on Laito’s HDB route from Yui’s perspective, I got several comments about how they didn’t realize how bad his route really was. That’s either because people might not have experience with verbal abuse themselves, can’t exactly see Yui’s body language except her head (and even so, her expressions are limited), or don’t know a lot of gaslighting/verbal abuse techniques/have done research into it. Honestly verbal abuse is kind of hard to realize, so I’m not calling anyone dumb here. Despite me knowing a lot of the signs, I didn’t know I went through it––and even so I’ve denied it. And that’s what is so effective about this game though! Especially Laito’s route! Because you’re also sucked in with limited knowledge because you’re seeing this through Yui’s perspective, and on top of that it’s isolating. You can only make so many choices, and I feel like Dialovers is perfect as a visual novel. You get caught up with a lot of shock value things that Laito says, which serves as a perfect distraction for your first time through. But anyways, I’m getting off track.

For example, many people found his Maniac 07 chapter to be very confusing. I broke that one down here as well, and even so I was confused at first (also I was like 14/15, dear god). It tells you SO little, but you know that Laito’s incredibly upset at Richter for some reason, and even so, Yui comments on it a little too. Laito is shown to still hate Richter in DF, but he talks about it a tad more.

Here’s a further example from my writings in that first part of the Cordelia/Laito analysis series but I have bolded the terms I use to convey this rhetoric:

There hasn’t been any flashbacks that specifically show us the first time that happened. However, I believe that there was a flashback in HDB that shows one of the first times. Here’s a scene from Laito’s Dark Epilogue:

Cordelia: ー Laito…Laito… Laito: …Hm? Is something the matter? Cordelia: I have a favor to ask. It just isn’t enough. You can do it, right Laito? Laito: You really are something…So that’s why you came to me again? Cordelia: Fufufu…That’s right, Laito. Come on, quickly… Laito: …Guess it can’t be helped. I’ll love you plenty. Cordelia: Aah…My cute Laito~ I love you. I really do. Laito: I can do it…right? Cordelia: Of course, Laito. Now, quickly…

First of all, ew. Second of all, Laito’s diction implies that this was maybe the second or third time this occurred. He asks a question, and ends it with “again.” We know by this that it is not the first time, but the question also means that Laito might not have expected to occur again. His tone also implies some surprise to it, at least in my ears. His other question, “I can do it, right?” screams hesitance to me. If this scene took place down the line, or after many times he did this with Cordelia, I don’t believe he’d be some level of surprised or hesitance.

That’s what rhetorical analysis is. You take the contextual meaning of the words, the tone they use, and extrapolate what they imply. On top of this, we know that the term “love” here is sexual, implying that they did something sexual. We are not given the details of this, but considering we know that Laito uses “love” before he rapes Yui in the game, we can infer that’s what happened (or something similar) to himself with Cordelia, considering he projects on Yui quite a bit.

I was going to go over what is good/bad analysis, but I think I’ve implied it anyways here. Utilizing separate information from different sources of canon in order to make sense of something is good analysis. That’s our objective truth: canon. I’m not saying I’m the best at analysis, but I am fairly confident in it. It’s how I’m able to attempt to answer some of your “how would Laito react” questions without it being specifically hinted in the game. You cannot cherry pick specific sentences and go off of that alone for analysis. It’s context. It’s reading tone. It’s knowing the characters attitudes towards things, how they speak, etc. There’s a lot going into analysis in general. I know I didn’t elaborate on Aristotle’s rhetorical triangle right now, but that’s for another date I suppose.

Oh dear god I hope I didn’t lose you guys, I know this is a lot of information, but if you have any questions/comments/clarifications, as always, please let me know!

Hope you enjoyed! -Corn

#analysis #ask corn

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wooahaes · 2 years

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.... ok, layton anon here again (I might just use that as a tag if that's okay? 👉🏻👈🏻)

I literally just typed out a long ass reply and then tumblr decided to crash - but maybe it's a sign to try and keep it shorter (update: i failed)

for the maze runner thing, it was honestly just about the "people appearing one after another without memories" I think aside from that it's very different, especially in terms of general atmosphere. I've read Day 1 too now btw and I loved it sm! I'm really intrigued to see how it continues<3

I hope your meds are safe for you to take and that they help quickly!!

yess him being like shigure would work really well (i also love shigure sm as a unit but that's a different story)

Also imma be honest as well - i'm the same. Birthright is the only one I finished and other than that I'm like almost through with awakening, halfway with echoes and revelations and idek how far with three houses. I think I get too much into strategizing and spend too much time planning out the classes and skills instead of just playing and then I tend to abandon the games for a while...

So since I'm not super deep into the story myself my 3h au isn't that deep. Y/n would take Byleths place, simply because it makes a lot of sense. And then I sorta assigned the units to the houses based on Vibes TM aka Blue Lions - HHU, Black Eagles - Vocal, Golden Deer Tiger - Performance.

I also felt that some characters shared traits or reminded me of members (Linhardt - Han, Ferdinand - Seungkwan, Sylvain - Mingyu, Claude - Hoshi, Ignatz - Hao). But they'd mostly be themselves and not take over the exact role of anyone. I've also have thoughts on classes for some but not for all. I think Woozi would be something along the lines of a General, Han would be a Dark Mage, Hoshi a Hero, Scoups a Swordmaster or Cavalier (or anything else just give the man a sword) and- yeah I think I'll end it here

thanks for letting me share my fire emblem brain rot!! have a good day/night/evening!<3

omg hiii thats absolutely fine!! i didnt want to just assign it to u but thats 100% fine w me!!

its ok i also fail at writing short responses 90% of the time dskfhdsf tumblr crashing during those is awful tho

ooo yeah fair :0 i can def see it!! ive learned a lot abt tmr through posting this fic lmao but im glad you liked day 1!! the fics gonna honestly slow down for a bit purely bc the next 13 parts are each individual members parts and those are honestly just gonna take a hot sec for me to like... be happy w all of them :(

aaa i still havent taken them just bc. anxiety bad! they shouldnt have any bad interactions since they're not a sulfa drug, but anxiety louder, y'know? im waiting until i know family is awake (yes ik its 4 pm shh) in case i need shit

i also love shigure but thats at least slightly bc of my love for m*tt m*rcer as a voice actor sdfhsdkjfh i adore him tho!! thats my beloved!!

i get DEEP in trying to figure out my units tbh i usually end up drafting out my pairings when i play. if awakening + conquest both had the ability to scout out things as easily as u can in birthright + revelations, i would have def beat them by now tbh.

but also i tend to abandon games after a while by accident sdkfhsdfh

i know little abt 3h but i am nodding along and golden tiger makes me happy. its what my man deserves <3

me lookin up these characters and sees ferdinand is confident and hates losing like YEP thats kwannie. i can see a lot of the comparisons u drew!! :0

i can def see general woozi + hero hoshi + swordsmaster cheol + dark mage han!! cheol is getting a sword and thats all i care about actually /j (nah but if i could give him some sort of rally skill, i think he + woozi + hosh would all have one in some shape!! and most likely seok too since booseoksoon leader ykno)

i honestly feel like shua would potentially be a war cleric. can heal you, but can also can Kill.

alternatively for hannie tho he could be thief -> trickster imo?

i honestly feel like vernon miiight either be a cavalier or an archer. its a gut thing tbh i cannot explain otherwise.

u are always welcome to share ur fe brainrot sdkfhsdf this blog is where i share my svt + trsr (+ skz tbh) brainrot now lmao y'all can Always share stuff ur interested in w me!! i hope u also have a good day/night/evening! <3

#wooahaes.ask #layton anon

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vivinightingale · 4 years

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ok so we’ve already established that im an absolute simp (& sucker 🥺) for joey wheeler, but i love all my bois so can we pls get some hcs w/ the main DM bois with a vv short s/o? like REALLY short? like less than 5 feet? (im 4”10 so idek if im shorter than Yugi so 🤧🤚) also do you do matchups? and if so, are they open?? thanks love!! 💗

Yes! I do match ups, and yes they are open so feel free to submit! 💕💕

This one goes to all my smol readers I love you guys 💕💕💕

Yugi Muto:

He isn’t gonna lie having an S/O who’s smaller then him is the best thing ever to him (he likes to feel tall)

He loves leaning down to kiss you, or how your the perfect height to lay your head on his chest as he holds you.

Maybe it because you shorter then him,but he is also very protective of you. It’s all that bad, but please remind him that you’ll be okay or it will get worse.

If you wear them he really loves dress and skirts on you, when you twirl in them has him high key wanting you, but to be fair anything you wear that makes you feel confident makes him high key want you.

He just really loves you okay??

You guys are cutest short couple. Teá and Mai squeal an coo about the two of you. (Usually end up with you and yugi huffing at the two of them)

He has you in his phone as shortcake 🍰💕

The cutest cuddly couple 10/10 best of the best

Yami/Atem:

He doesn’t care how tall or short you are, it’s the kindness in your heart that has him ALL over you.

Because he has touched anyone in almost 5000 years or so he loves holding you, and keeping you close. His favorite is wrapping his arms around you from behind as he lays his head on top of yours.

Much like his counterpart he loves being able to lean down and kiss you. To him he gets to see you pretty face at a better angle.

He is also very protective of you he will pull you into his arm and use his body as shield. He just got you he doesn’t want anything to take you from him.

Not gonna lie but the confidence you show during duels is the thing that makes him high key want you. Just look at you and the fire in your eye just 👌

Unlike with yugi, teá and mai don’t coo at your relationship, but they love it just seeing how loving he is to you has them sighing at romantic it is

He has you in his phone 👑Queen🥰

Adorable dueling couple 10/10 would watch every duel

Joey Wheeler:

He has to litterly has to stop himself from constantly picking you up cuddling you. So needless to say he LOVES having a smaller S/O .

Honestly he is one that will give the cute short nicknames lil angel, nugget, Chibi, shorty, and shortcake.

He loves being able to pick you, hold you close, and pepper all kinds of kisses all over your face. See how red your face get makes him want to do it more.

He knows you can protect yourself, but there are times when he feels the need to protect you.

When you argue with Seto, and put him his place that is when he high key wants you. Just seeing with spark in your eyes as your prove to Seto that your deck is just as good as his. He’s gotta stop himself tbh

Yours and Joey relationship is a little bit of cutesy, with a lot of silliness, and some sass it honestly makes everyone laugh at you guys antics.

Has you in his phone as lil sass 💕😂

Funniest sass couple 10/10 would laugh for hours with you guys

Tristan Taylor:

The work out couple has arrived! He is the boyfriend that will lift you up and let’s you sit on his bicep as he flexs.

Because you don’t two compete in duel monsters like everyone else you compete to see do the most push ups, sit ups etc

He loves it when you sit in his back as he does push ups, and you count for him, or when you hang off his arm when he is trying to show off.

Oh he KNOWS you can protect yourself (sometimes you end up saving him), but he tries anyway and it adorable.

As much as he loves doing those things with he absolutely loves it when you wear cutesy things. The adorable look you give him when you cling to his arm in your cute attire has him high key wanting you.

Has you in his phone as little power house💪😍

Cute power couple 10/10 would cheer you guys on

Duke Devlin:

Dungeon dice monster tag team champs! You’re cocky attitude mixed with his is honestly a fan favorite among the crowds.

Your vast height difference is also a favorite among your fans. When you two win he picks you up spins you around and peppers kisses all over your face.

You two play fight a lot, and he loves it because at the end of the fight he is always on top, and it usually ends up as something more.

Duke is the protective type so even if he knows you can protect yourself he still wants to be there for you.

Shorts are this man weakness so anytime you want to get a rise out of him wear them, and watch this man squirm

He has you in his phone as baby cakes 🎂😋

The flirty couple that has each other’s back 10/10 would stick around long but love you guys anyway

Seto Kaiba:

Hhhoooooo boy you better climb this giraffe boi, cause let me tell you he is tall boi, and you may or may not look like a child next to him.

Because you are only slightly taller then Mokuba a lot of people mistaken as one of siblings. One day out of frustration you pulled him down kisses him roughly and told everyone you were his s/o NOT his sibling.

He loves how well you bond with mokuba, and how you treat him as your own kin. Even as going as far is stopping people from kidnapping him. (You short it’s easier for you to bust knee cap)

When he isn’t around you will have at least 1 bodyguard just for his own peace of mind.

You know what makes him high key want you? (Dressing as a blue eyes) beating him in a duel and taking control. Seto has been control all his life so having someone who is willing to take control for him is a nice change of pace.

He has you in his phone as (y/n)

10/10 best fierce business couple, would watch you got it with joey

Bakura Ryou:

He doesn’t care about your height as long as you have big heart to match your beauty, and he can cuddle you.

Most of the girls who still tried to gain I his attention in high school are trying now and they are all HELLA jealous of you, but the two of you don’t care cause you two are in your own little world.

More times then not people can find you guys tangled up in each other. Wheather it be hand holding, or you guys cuddling you two are always with one another.

He knows he isn’t much of a fighter, but he would do anything if it means protecting you.

The thing that high key gets him going is when try to stand on your tippy toes to kiss him. You are just too adorable he can’t resist.

He has you in his phone as My love 😍💖

10/10 I’ve become diabetic with how sweet you guys are

Yami Bakura:

Get ready to be picked on by this man, cause trust me he may love, but that isn’t stop him from picking on you.

Shorty, small fry, and tiny are some of his favorites to call you. He will also use as an arm rest when he stands next to you because he like the rise he gets out of you.

You aren’t a pushover though and that’s what he loves the best. That temper of yours is what drives him to be ass.

Look he may pick on you but anyone else DARES talks bad about you he will most definitely send someone to the shadow realm no hesitation.

When you two go at or when your going at it with someone else is what has him high key wanting you. I’m telling you it’s the temper

If he has a phone your under Fireball 🔥

10/10 don’t want to be around cause he might yell at me but I’m rooting for you boo

Marik Ishtar:

Okay I have to say it. Traveling is expensive so I can see you two being the couple where he tell the waitress you his little sister and just the right age for the half price kids meals.

He loves how well you fit in front him while the two of you travel on his motorcycle. It’s a sure way he knows your okay.

The boy has been through a lot, and for as long as he could remember he has always felt alone so your presence alone is what keeps those dark thoughts away.

He is also a protector so he would fight ANYONE for you.

What really get him high key wanting you is when get on the bike with shorts and a tank top. Like wooooo guess you guys are staying in town for a couple days.

Has you in his phone as sunshine☀️💛

10/10 best traveling couple good luck in your travels!

Yami Marik:

Also one of those one where he will make fun of your height, but still keeps you close like his life depends on it.

He tries to be mean and rude to you, but your kindness just snuffs it all out and he ends huffing as he holds you his head on top of yours.

He likes the quiet moments away from everyone else because if they saw how weak he was for you, you would be a HUGE target.

He would send anyone to the shadow realm if they so much as look at your wrong.

The thing that gets him when you sit on his lap, and pretend your in charge. You short stature just really get him going.

If he has a phone your under Small fry 🍟

10/10 you guys are mix but I love it all the same

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blackfemmecharacterdependency · 3 years

Text

BFCD Reviews by Nesha: Hournite (CW’s Stargirl)

HEY! When was the last time I made time for one of these? Actually, whenever I initially asked that, it had been a HOT minute and I think I’ve done one since I started this. Anyways. I was gonna do a review of the show itself or of Beth Chapel’s portrayal by the ADORABLE and talented Anjelika Washington BUT... A bitch fell in love with a ship that might not go anywhere (Yet, they can’t stop me from dreaming), so HERE I AM, hopefully on Beth’s birthday of May 15th to rave and such for a moment, if y’all let me.

Beth Chapel (Dr. Mid Nite) and Rick Tyler (Hourman) who make up the seeming fan favorite ship called “Hournite.”

Disclaimer for somebody who stumbled across this post because of the fandom tags - I am an independent partaker of this content, not part of the fandom, and my audience in particular is not for everybody. SO. If you may have been criticized in the past for casual racism, tone deafness to Black women’s concerns or accused of misogynoir or antiblackness, leave now. If you don’t like cussing, AAVE, general ratchetness and mean lesbian energy, you too might wanna go. A bitch can be eloquent, but I type like I talk, at times, so it is what it is and I don’t curate for kids, dudes, or nonblacks. That’s just what that is.

NOW. To my homies that now how I act. Let’s. Get. Started. @andromidagalaxie @sleepyfangirl18 @shslargue Who TF else watched this show? (IDEK if Krystal watched this, but she be present for all my reviews even though Tumblr REFUSES to let a bitch tag her)m but I stay sending these to her because we love Krystal in this place.

OKAY, a bitch might be finna be all over the place. Because I’m not going step by step down the line of every single interaction. I'ma start where I kinda got the shipping getcha gotcha, and that was the scene where Rick is literally ready to go beat a bitch ass and Beth puts her body in front of his person to be like, "No, no. We not doin that, Hun."

He really looked her right in her face and basically told her she wasn't shit and she was like, "Mm, okay. Hurt people hurt people," and I'm on the borderline of being like, "Hold up White Devil," and THE VERY thin line that crosses into "Poor Lil' Boy." But, Miss Chapel can handle herself. Without saying something hurtful back, like my ass woulda did, and y'all know me, I'da scalped that boy, talking to me like that.

Beth instead shuts Buddy down with a smart chick observation and a soft chick assertation. "You hurt so much that you want to hurt others. Is that it Rick?"

This part mattered so much, because I bet nobody ever said to him that he was hurting. They've probably called him a delinquent bad kid said he was angry said he was violent all this other s***.

And she straight up said is it that you're hurting that you want to talk to me that way? And he can't do nothing but stop because she didn't do nothing to him, and what he's mad about is another friend being hurt... so he has to think about the fact that in his anger, he's hurting somebody else (whose also supposed to be his friend, or AT LEAST at this point his teammate) who didn't do nothing to him. And instead of her being like "you a piece of s***." She said is it because you're hurting? People grossly underestimate the power in noticing somebody's pain.

And after that shit, did he or did he not get him some ack right when he addressed her? I coulda missed it, but I don't recall him talking to her crazy again. Like, he was stern whenever he said that he wasn't helping her with whatever that was, but he was also right next to her on the couch, working cozily on his daddy notebook, so... 🤷🏾‍♀️

Like... Nobody else said "Great job Beth," so I was very soft. Even though she was like, "Me and Chuck!" Still. Episode 1 Rick wasn't gon' give you a complement, and I... Did I see him give another compliment to another person? He mighta and I missed it, but until I notice it, that's what happened.

And the group hug after the battle. That was probably the first hug Rick had in years... Which in my mind says that one of his first good touches in a while (before that, yanno) was carrying Beth when Yolanda YEETed her out Cindy window.

Can you imagine Rick like, being very confused as to how he had somebody in his bubble like that and wasn't consumed by anger? 🤣 Like... Wait a minute, now. Some touching is soft and tender... "Got you," even was said softly and this like... Right around the time, shortly after the time he was like, "What yo ass gon' do to stop me," so like... She got him together right, and didn't even have to talk crazy to him to do it. Which, with that bum ass uncle, we can assume he's used to, whenever he makes a mistake.

Headcanons: If somebody fw her, he'd be ready to beat TF out of them. She makes sure that he eats every meal, cooking for him or preparing snacks.

Listen. I keep thinking about how Rick whimpered, "Don't leave me," the last time he saw his parents and the fact that Beth was trying SO HARD to hold on to her parents and came to the conclusion that she understands why Rick's always so mad because he lost his parents and wouldn't they just... Always hold on to each other because of their reluctance to lose the ones they love? Until somebody prove me wrong, that's what happened.

Hey. Beth getting Rick to test food out whenever she feeds it to him, but fussing when he steals it and she's not done. Not mean fussing tho..

When was the last time Rick had a birthday cake or a party? The "singles," the "losers:" we seen they home life. His parents dead, Yolanda's is santimonious, and Beth's are trying to cut back on her. That isolation probably makes for more understandable connections between them and since all three of them did Christmas at Court's, like... This is family and Court and Yolanda have their hearts already occupied where we leave off, so... My. Heart. Is. Open. For. Hournite.

I'm ready for whatever the show gives us, or don't give us, because I'm not that much of a mystic, to expect the Black girl to get canonical shipping in a series like this, but I also do not give a fuck, because bitch its canon somewhere and we gon' ride that shit for all it's worth. Who finna stop us?

Anyways, thank you to whoever read this whole lil' rant, to all the Hournite content creators, to all the shippers that tell us about the canon version because we ain't got the comics at home, to all the Black girls that get to see a superhero with a whole ass afro!!! And friends and associates who intend to take my hand and stay on this path with me for as long as my ass be on it.

Happy Birthday to Beth Chapel, human sunshine, cutie patootie, Rick's Poundcake. If you know, you know.

#Hournite #Stargirl CW #Beth Chapel #Rick Tyler #BFCD Reviews by Nesha #Beth x Rick #headcanons #beth chapel headcanons #Beth Chapel commentary #Girl That's Queuedt #Happy Birthday Beth #The Brains of the Operation

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novanekoma · 4 years

Text

☼ 9.2. not okay with it

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

☼ 9.2. not okay with it

☼ prev. ☼ masterlist ☼ next

☼ taglist is OPEN: just send me a dm or an ask if you want to be added!

Notes: Tsukki is OVER IT. he really just wants to shove y/n and kuroo’s faces together and say kiss, and he really wants to push atsumu into a closet and tell him to stay out of it lmao. Kenma is in the same boat, while he’s not going to meddle

Notes: he doesn’t show it, but Tsukki is pretty salty he wasn’t invited, honestly tho so is Akaashi, he has a better reign on bokuto when they’re in the same room

Notes: y/n really does like the attention atsumu is giving her, it’s like Kenma said, she he's sweet to her and she knows he’s interested and even though she has feelings for kuroo, she still has this mentality that their friendship is more important than her heart, but saying she doesn’t feel anything for atsumu would be false too (poor girl is torn)

Notes: Tsukki was harsh, but that’s on brand for him, it was just what kuroo needed. he was so very, very jealous and seeing atsumu do something so simple, like link his fingers with y/n and seeing the pretty blush that spread on her cheeks was like a knife through his heart, his eyes are finally fucking open and the threat of someone else sweeping y/n off her feet causes a chill to go right through him

Notes: atsumu isn’t an idiot, he is WELL aware of the looks kuroo has been sending him all morning, and the blonde is doing his best to provoke the ex-captain (how the tables have turned for our poor kuroo). atsumu wants to show kuroo that while he may be y/n’s best friend, atsumu’s not going anywhere (unless of course y/n says she’s not interested) and he’s going to try his damnedest to win her over, he’s still got quite a few tricks up his sleeve and isn’t afraid of a little competition

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

A/N- THIS WAS A STRUGGLE TO WRITE. I’m sorry if it’s trash, I really wanted to do one from Kuroo’s pov! Also, sorry for all the gc switches, I hope it made sense! I meant to have this out earlier but I had a massive nap after a glass of wine and eating a lot of pasta lmao, but anyway I hope you all enjoyed! Next update will cover what the sugamama’s bad bitches gc thinks and... something else that I don’t want to give too much away about! So, I am going to go order some food now, I’m so hungry and get started on my hawks smau update, I’m trying my best to stick to schedule!

Thanks for reading! Until next update!

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

Taglist:

TAGLIST CONTINUED IN COMMENTS

I think I got everyone, if your name is missing please let me know! Also, if your name has a strike through it, I wasn’t able to tag you for some reason😞 I’ve seen on other posts with taglists that the problem may be that tagging may be off for your account

#haikyuu fake texts #haikyuu smau #haikyuu college au #haikyuu x reader #hq kuroo #haikyuu #kuroo smau #hq smau #haikyuu kuroo

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janiedean · 3 years

Note

I feel bad for all the nice J*nsa shippers who like their ship for whatever reasons (tropes, pretty art, aesthetic appeal, whatever) and know it's not canon but get associated with the misogynistic Dany hating crowd who act like Jon being attracted to Ygritte is J*nsa foreshadowing because red hair (I guess Jon should fuck Edmure Tully too? Omg give me Dark!Jon getting revenge on Catelyn by seducing her brother!) Tell me something. I'm new to the fandom but was J*nsa popular before the show? And I've heard something about the OG J*nsa shippers being alienated by the new shippers who insisted it had to be canon and acted like the series is called, "A song of J*nsa #danysux." I don't find that hard to believe because I know people who are now ashamed of calling themselves J*nsa shippers. Like, at this point, it's not only rival shippers who hate it. Even Gendrya/Braime/Jon stans/etc have started disliking that ship. You know your fandom is a problem when people who have nothing to do with Jnsa have a problem with it.

me: reads this ask

me: iwastheregandalf.gif which I can't find now but

okay anon buckle up because I am sadly well-equipped to answer this ask but before I do lemme tell you dark jon seducing edmure to take revenge on cat is LITERALLY THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD but *clears throat* ALL RIGHT THEN.

disclaimer: as anon says I have no issue with like the shippers mentioned by anon in the beginning and ngl I agree, I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO FUCKING STAKES in the j*nsa vs j*nerys war and the only het jon ship I gaf about is jon/ygritte and we all know where that ended up I just... have been here since 2011/adwd was over and all the fic around was just for the books under secret lj communities and asoiaf qualified for yuletide and I have... seen... things.... and I actually have like uh had... beef... with some people in there and I know things bc ppl who hated those others told me stuff so anyway *sigh* buckle up anon I'mma tell you the story of jon shipwars through the years

in order, the old gods help me here, under the cut bc this is long as fuck

when I got into fandom also given what numbers were on ao3 one ship was popular and it was sansan. no like sansan was lit. the only asoiaf ship on ao3 with more than 200 fics. jb had twenty when i checked first. jc had like around 100-ish because of the show but sansan dwarfed anything. I posted the first jon/ygritte fic on the ao3 tag and the fourth throbb fic and like the others were all reposts from lj kinkmemes. nothing was popular before the show except for sansan when it comes to huge numbers bc grrm doesn't like fic and it was all hush hush until the show made it impossible to control and that ship was the one with a huge enough fanbase it actually had numbers, so like... j*nsa wasn't popular in the way nothing else was popular until it got screentime on the show

now, that stated, j*nsa had a... fair amount of fic for a rareship which was mostly book-based and from og shippers that were there from before the show and liked it for what it was but literally none of them thought it was gonna be canon, like it wasn't huge or anything but it had a small but dedicated fanbase who did their own thing and thought it was fun/liked the idea but that was it

that fandom had their own niche of hcs that they cultivated and shit except that like... at the end of S5/beginning of S6 there was a surge in shipping for... well obvious reasons bc it was obv sansa was getting to the wall and that would have been all nice and good but a) it was the time puritanical shipping was starting to take root and the 'shipping sansa with sandor or tyrion is hella problematic' rhetoric had started to circle coming from sans*ery shippers mostly but I'mma not open that fucking can of worms here, b) while the ending of S5 had more of a theon/sansa spike, the j*nsa stuff started getting big

now here we have to mention my villain origin story ie: j*nsa fandom had this one stan whose name I won't make because honestly it's been years and if she's still around I don't want her to remember I exist who was a bnf, wrote for... the website that created the whole larry/carol thing etc who was really fixed on this thing that j*nsa was actually canon and started writing extremely popular meta about it. now you're gonna ask how do you know, I know because this person once wrote a meta named 'why robb stark is a dick' and I told her that it was really fucking bad meta and she took it so badly she kept on trash talking me on her blog/her podcast (I was apparently the insane robb stark fangirl l m a o good lord) and like that was when some sane ppl who argued with her informed me in pvt that she was basically harping on the CANON thing when they'd have been okay with like... it being crackshipping and that she was basically cultivating a hoarde of followers who were harping on them/the ogs and basically ostracizing them;

I would like to add that this person - before her tumblr got 'accidentally deleted' and remade it therefore deleted most receipts for, er, her so-called meta which included stuff like ned and cat raised sansa as a sexual object and only wanted to sell her like cattle - had at some point started a round robin fic thing where... some of the characters mocked openly said stuff that some of the og fans had said specifically targeting them and people in that side basically went harassing anyone who didn't agree with that specific notion

now never mind that this person basically coined an entire term to describe ppl who liked white guys and excused all their wrongdoings out of my conversation re robb basically lying about everything I said as if I didn't have the receipts and tried to sell shirts with it and it didn't work and like then she got kicked out of her own website because she was telling her commenters disagreeing pretty shitty insults (considering I was called psychotic for disagreeing with her that time I don't doubt it) I think at some point she stepped back from fandom bc idk wtf she's up to these days and I don't want to, but basically at that point the dam was broken and there was a bunch of puritanical shippers harping on anyone who didn't agree with j*nsa is canon endgame stuff

this also includes an incident when those ppl were like... passing themselves as throbb shippers and ended up trying to tell t*hramsay shippers off the theon tag based on moral reasons and I ended up arguing with all of them (and they were all from that crowd) which in turn landed me in contact with other og j*nsa shippers who were like detached from that fandom bc those same people harassed them away as well ssooooo fun

anyway when S6 happened everyone was high on it and whatnot but I wasn't gonna begrudge them that I mean... you shipped it for years, canon is delivering you, good for you, but then j*nerys happened

god j*nerys happened

aaand basically...... I mean personally I was there like are y'all seriously arguing about the best incest jon ship out there but like basically the j*nsa endgame side was like AH JON IS PLAYING DANY SEE IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, the j*nerys obv got defensive af and both sides were sort of alternatively shitting on jon/ygritte anyway and depicting any other romantic rship jon could have as abusive™ and during S8 it just got worse and like I tried to stay out of it but basically from what I'm seeing now idk how the j*neryses are doing but on the j*nsa one it's ah jon's gonna play dany anyway and she's going to go insane like in the show so SHOW TRUTHING EVERY OTHER WAY and like again denying that sandor exists or that tyrion exists and like I barely touch my corner (sansan) but I ended up arguing with j*nsa/th*nsa people on twitter who were antis and is2g it was white-hair inducing and I know for sure the sansa/tyrion shippers were harassed to hell and back throughout so FUN

and even if the show didn't go there now since everyone there banked on the jnsa endgame thing and admitting you're wrong is like... not a thing, they still haven't let go of it and attach to that ship any shred of evidence which honestly is grasping at straws half of the time (like... the sansa/alysanne parallels like guys please no) and which is why every other ship is starting to get fed up, attaching canon proof of stuff from other ships onto theirs see that batb argument and jb is platonic but jonsa is not nvm taking all the sansan stuff and throwing it on j*nsa but then denying that sansan has canon evidence (like guys I had to read sansa touching his shoulder when saying gregor wasn't a true knight wasn't meaningful and we were seeing things please) and blah blah blah

this also goes hand in hand with the fixation on like... villanizing dany at all costs and like is2g I have zero investment in dany or her storyline I don't even remember it and I don't particularly care abt her either way and sure af I'm not for j*nerys endgame but like.... some stuff I read is completely excessive esp when fixing on how she's a completely mad tyrant who's gonna have to be put down and like... guys no

(also there's some srs stannis hate in that corner which I honestly don't get why they even care abt stannis but I had to read stuff like ppl don't recognize that dany and stannis are the real villains in this saga and like........ idek)

I think most of the og shippers are gone or don't ship it openly bc they don't want to be attached to the drama but like I also think they're pissing off everyone else bc like... I mean a bunch of them also were down with sansa being paired with other ppl as long as it meant a good ending for her except those ppl were... like everyone but the ppl she has actual contact with in canon which meant that at some point sansa/gendry was a thing and like.... you can imagine why arya/gendry shippers & arya stans were fed up, and there's also this tendency to behave like sansa is the center of the entire saga which like these books is named a song of jon snow basically can we pls make peace with it and personally I've had it with both j*nsa and j*nerys people since they started with that dumbass JON/YGRITTE WAS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP rhetoric but I'm also fed up with the total ignoring that sandor exists/depicting us as delusional and honestly I also was by proxy fed up from the harassing of the sansa/tyrion shippers soooooooooooo

there were also instances of 'well theon is an acceptable choice other than jon bc he can't threaten her' which... i mean we all know what that meant and I'm not even commenting it bc it's one AM and I have no force to but I don't have to explain why it's not a progressive take now do I

there were also metas about how cousin incest being legal in half of the world means that jondany is a worse incest and j*nsa doesn't count as such and I was basically there like guys please just fucking own up to it but honestly I chose to forgot where I read that and I couldn't find the link if I tried

tldr: no one wants to admit that it's not gonna be endgame which considering the amount of fic they have on ao3 is imvho useless bc they have more content than like.. anything I ship that's not jb or that's actually like canon *cries in joncon/rhaegar but I mean renly/loras is canon and has less fic than them* so idk what's the problem with enjoying that instead of insisting it's gonna be canon when not even the show validated it while show truthing anyway when the only show truthing that can be truthed is the small council made of minorities and possibly jon eventually fucking off with the wildlings but not like that but like most people who thought it wasn't gonna be endgame had left/were made to leave by the time S7 rolled by and at this point since wow isn't out yet everyone is fandom-grasping at straws to find stuff to discourse on and we're here beating dead horses *shrug*

so that's... how it is but I would again like to point out that I don't judge ppl on their shipping, I don't particularly care about this entire feud bc I only ship jon with ppl he's not related to in whichever way and I try to stay out of this mess bc I don't really care to argue with ppl who have already decided to bend canon to whatever they want and will have to realize that it's not what grrm wrote at some point but like I have a very good memory and the above rant is as objective as possible also bc again I don't literally have a stake in that race I just think romantic/endgame j*nsa is not a thing and that ppl should stay in their lane and not harping on other ppl who ship whatever in general but especially when their ship is the most popular thing in fandom in the first place /two cents

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #anonymous #ask post #anti-jonsa #anti jonsa #anti-jonerys #anti jonerys #both of them for equality

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randomshyperson · 3 years

Text

Sorry for your loss - “I will move on” #04

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Tag list: @imapotatao / @aimezvousbrahms/ @ensorcellme/ @helloalycia / @mionemymind / @abimess / @stephanieromanoff / @yourtaletotell / @tomy5girls / @justagaypanicking / @thegayw1tch / @idek-5

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Chapter Four - I will move on

"And I guess that's about it." You say as you finish telling Agatha about your last few weeks. She smiles as she shakes her head.

"I have to say I am proud of you." She comments gesturing briefly with her hands. "Are you sure you don't want to add anything else?"

You shrug, unable to remember anything relevant that you haven't mentioned.

You told her about writing again, about trying to drive again. About helping Wanda to stay home without having panic attacks, and to go back to work. You had only managed to drive in the supermarket parking lot, but it was still progress, and Stephen was very happy to hear it about too. The only thing missing to get your life back to normal was your apartment. And you had already arranged with Wanda to visit later that week.

"I have two questions for you then." Agatha says when you confirm that you have nothing to add. "Don't you think it's time to try to reconnect with your friends?"

You hesitate, thoughtfully.

"I don't know." You said slightly uncomfortable. "My friends weren't just mine. They were Nat's friends too. And then she died, and I isolated myself. And well, I guess they were in their own grief too, because none of them tried to look for me anymore."

"You took your time to heal." She says. "Maybe they took theirs too. And now might be the time to reconnect."

You sigh, looking away.

"Yeah, I'll think about it." You speak. You look back at Agatha a moment later. "What was the other question?"

Agatha hides a small smile.

"A sensitive topic for patients who lose their beloved lovers." She says and you frown in confusion. "Well, dear, I need to ask if you are trying to date again?"

You gasp in surprise, feeling your face heat up.

"W-what?"

Agatha lets out a giggle.

"I know this may seem insensitive at first, and that's more because of the sexist socioeconomic construct that treats widowed women as violated property that must belong to their lover for the rest of their lives than anything else but I need you to understand that it's perfectly natural to move on." She narrates and you just stand there with a shocked expression and your heart racing. "You are a single woman now, and you have sexual and emotional human needs. I'm going to help you work through any kind of guilt, because judging your progress, you seem ready to be in a relationship again."

"I...I don't..."

"Don't worry, honey." Agatha interrupts with a giggle. "I'm not telling you to go around fornicating." She jokes. "Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course. But I don't think it's really your style at all."

You feel your face heat up, frowning at Agatha, but she continues to speak.

"Anyway, I'm saying that it will be good if you get back into romantic relationships with other people. Casual encounters, that sort of thing. You are allowed to love someone again, there's nothing wrong with that." She explains getting up toward her own desk, and then gives a mischievous little smile in your direction. "Not to mention that orgasms are great stress relievers."

You choke in surprise, but Agatha just smiles, turning to write the appointment report.

Your face is still very red when you leave her office.

//-//

"I'm going to make a gardener out of you yet, huh?" Monica joked as you finished composting, making you laugh lightly.

"Well, I had a good teacher." You joked back as you stood up.

You were at Wanda's flower shop again. It became routine for you to help Monica with the garden and the flowers. And as the days went by, you got used to being in the greenhouses while she was attending to customers and Wanda was working in the office. It took two weeks for Monica to start joking that you had become a staff member at the flower shop. You don't really mind helping out. Botany has turned out to be something surprisingly relaxing for you. The hours of Wanda's shift passed by quickly when you keep your hands busy with the plants and flowers, your anxiety long forgotten.

"Are you hungry?" Monica asks as soon as you return to the store's front desk, and she pulls out the " break" sign tucked under the counter.

"Sure."

"Let's take a lunch break. See if Wanda wants to join us while I attend that boy." Monica says looking forward toward the window display. There is a boy clearly unsure about whether or not to enter the store and you exchange a chuckle with her before heading towards Wanda's office.

She is on the phone when she answers the door for you, and signals with her finger in her mouth for you not to say anything as she makes room for you to enter. As she mumbles in agreement on the call, you look around. She seems to be working on the organization of some big event judging by the whiteboard in the corner filled with notes, and you figure it's a party or some wedding, because you and Monica have been growing more flowers for this kind of thing lately.

"That sounds pretty good, actually." You listen to her speak as she jots down a few things in an agenda. " Don't worry, we have enough for the engagement party and the ceremony."

The shelf on the side in front of the whiteboard catches your attention, and you walk over to the furniture next.

Wanda moves a little behind you, adding some stickers to the whiteboard. You keep looking at the bookshelf, distracted by the objects on it. There is a picture of the twins that makes you smile, some books, and other small pots of plants. You lightly caress the bonsai before looking down.

You run your fingers over the red flower on Wanda's bookshelf, trying to remember the name. Monica has taught you many things, but you don't know many as well.

"Anthurium" Wanda whispers behind you, as she turns off her cell phone and realizes that you are looking at the flower with curiosity. You murmur in understanding, turning to make comment that it is very beautiful, but your speech dies in your throat when you realize how close Wanda is. "What did you want?" She asks curiously and you are almost leaning your body against the bookshelf, trying to think clearly.

"I-I came to ask if you want to have lunch with us." You say while mentally telling yourself not to look at Wanda's lips.

Wanda murmurs in understanding, and you can barely breathe when she stands even closer, her hand outstretched to something above your head. She pulls out a small stick caught in your hair, and all you can do is stare at her with a racing heart as she bites back a smile, and tosses the stick into one of the vases on the shelf behind you.

"I'd like to join you, but I'm busy." She says and her gaze falls to your lips for a second before she turns her head away and walks off. You let out a breath, wiping your sweaty hands on your pants as Wanda walks toward the table in search of the notepad and pen she was using before hanging up her cell phone. "Can you please bring me something to eat? I'm starving. I just don't know exactly what I want..."

You smile as you see Wanda's thoughtful expression with pen and notebook in hand. You approach, putting the notebook down with your hand gently.

"Don't worry, I know what you like." You say simply, and Wanda blinks in surprise, smiling awkwardly. "I'll stop by that confectionery shop you like and also bring you a dessert, okay? You look stressed."

Wanda laughs lightly, her cheeks flushed.

"Thanks, love."

The nickname slips so naturally from her lips that it takes a moment for both of you to realize what has just been said. Your gaze falls to Wanda's mouth the same minute that her pupils dilate. You are almost breaking the distance when Monica opens the door, not noticing the closeness of the two of you because she has her gaze on a piece of paper in her own hands.

You and Wanda immediately turn away, embarrassed.

"We have a big order, girls." She announces excitedly, raising her eyes to you. Monica frowns slightly at the guilty expressions and reddened faces. "Sorry, did I interrupt something?"

"No." You answer in unison quickly, surprising Monica again, who acquires an expression of suspicion and humor. You clear your throat and Wanda lets out a short laugh.

"We were just talking about lunch." You say. "And well, Wanda has a big order too. I guess you guys will need my help then."

Wanda turns to you again with this statement.

"What? No, I can't make you work for me..."

You interrupt with a laugh.

"Wanda, don't even start." You say. "I love staying here. And I'm happy to help, really. Don't worry about it."

"You sure make my shifts more fun." Adds Monica with a smile, making you laugh. Wanda looks at you intently.

"Are you sure?" She asks, and you smile as you nod in agreement. "We'll talk about it later. You can't work for free, and if you're going to help you need a schedule, and breaks and chores."

You laugh, nodding.

"Yes, boss." You murmur playfully and Wanda pats your arm, making you and Monica laugh.

"Let's get our lunch now, I'm starving." Monica orders as she turns to walk out the door. You murmur in agreement, and quickly kiss Wanda on the cheek before following the other woman. Wanda has a foolish smile on her face until you return with her lunch many minutes later.

//-//

You call Carol Danvers the day before you return to your apartment.

Things go much better than you expected, but it's not surprising, because you usually expect the worst case scenario.

Carol is very happy to hear from you, and you are happy to know that she doesn't hate you for not calling before. You talk for a few minutes, but she can't talk much on the phone because her shift is about to start. You are surprised to learn that she is working in a nightclub downtown now, unlike months ago when she worked in a rock bar in Queens.

She tells you that Bruce was traveling because of his internship, but that he would be in town for the weekend, and invites you to visit her at work. You hesitate because you are not sure if you are ready to go to a club, but you accept as you think of Agatha's words about reconnecting with your friends again.

You are the one who drives to your apartment the next day, after you and Wanda leave the flower shop. Your heart is racing the whole time, but Wanda rests her hand on your thigh to calm you down, and as the minutes go by, you can no longer tell whether you are nervous about the trauma or something else.

Parking in the small condo cluster, you take a deep breath. Wanda gives your thigh one last squeeze before she pulls her hand away and gets out of the car, completely oblivious to the way your entire body trembles at her touch. Shaking your head slightly to push that kind of thought away, you step out of the car.

Your hands are shaking wildly as you take your keys out of your pockets, just as you reach the second floor, after you have politely waved to the people who recognized you on the way to your apartment.

"Hey, breathe." Wanda asks softly beside you. And you take a deep breath, and it helps. And then you turn the key, and go inside.

It is exactly the same as the last time you were here, many months ago, on the day of the accident.

Your mother cleaned it up, of course, but it is still the same. Everything is in the exact same place, even the shoes that Nat left lying in the corner of the bookshelf. And you felt your chest tighten when the flashes of memory began.

You walked around, looking at the surroundings while Wanda followed you. A few tears streamed down your face, but you said nothing.

You were in the kitchen when the first sob escaped your throat. Leaning your hands on the counter, you dropped your keys and tried to push away the memories that were clear in your head.

It was as if you could feel Nat in the room. Seeing her in the armchair, laughing at your jokes, or being a disaster in the kitchen on nights when you tried to eat something homemade. Her books mixed in with yours on the bookshelf, your wedding and graduation pictures on the mantelpiece.

You moved away from the counter quickly, however, as Wanda looked at you intently, unsure whether to approach or not. Walking down the hallway, you stopped in front of your bedroom door.

And you stood there. Long minutes staring at the wood. Unable to move.

Feeling arms around your waist, you sighed, your body relaxing considerably.

Wanda hugged you from behind, and waited. You were crying again, and you only stopped after a while. Taking a deep breath, and lightly stroking Wanda's hand to ask her to let go, you waited for her to let go of you to open the door.

Wanda waited for you outside. You just walked around the room, your face wet as you breathed with difficulty, your arms crossed as if you were afraid to touch anything.

When you came out, you took a deep breath once more. And then you said you needed to call your mother.

That's how you spent the rest of the day packing up your apartment together with Wanda, your mother, and Pietro and Monica, who came to help after Wanda said you needed more people.

You came back the other day too, until the only things left were larger pieces of furniture.

"Are you sure you're going to sell?" Your mother asked you in the parking lot as soon as you left there in the late afternoon. Wanda had just gone home with her brother and sister-in-law.

"That was her apartment, Mom." You say as you put the boxes in the trunk. "I could never live here without Natasha."

"It's a good property." She comments, making you chuckle lightly.

"I'm sure the next owners will love it."

"I don't mean to be disrespectful, dear. It's just a nice apartment, not the kind of thing you get every day and..."

"Are you wanting to keep it by any chance?" You interrupt, irritated at your mother's lack of sensitivity. She sighs, and you frown.

"No. But maybe someone else wants to."

It takes a moment for you to understand what she is implying.

"You know Nat didn't talk to her family."

Your mother looks away.

"Actually..." She begins and you close the trunk with a confused expression, "I've been seeing Melina since January."

You blink in surprise, and then let out a dry laugh.

"I am speechless." You say in shock. "You...are you serious? Wow, I...wow."

You lean back against the car, impressed and annoyed. Your mother sighs guiltily, stepping in front of you again.

"Look, I know I should have had something, but you were so..."

"Sad? Yeah mom, my wife died, I had a right to be."

"That's not what I meant."

You sighed, rolling your eyes.

"Yeah, I know." You grumble. "But it sucks that you kept it from me. What the hell does Melina want anyway?"

Your mother looks away for a moment.

"She wanted to see you actually." She says and you let out a wry laugh. "I know how ridiculous it sounds, but her daughter died and you were the only remaining connection to Natasha."

You push your fingers against your forehead lightly, thinking you are starting to get a migraine from this conversation.

"You know what, Mom?" You say. "Since you two have become such good friends lately, tell her that her chance to connect with me was lost the moment she didn't attend the funeral."

Your mother sighs, but you are already turning to get into the car. She follows you a moment later, sitting in the passenger seat.

You drive in silence back home.

//-//

Over the weekend, you almost canceled your plans with Carol.

Your mother was giving you the silent treatment for the way you refused to talk about Natasha and Melina, and you were very irritated by the whole situation.

Grumbling about how ridiculous it all was, you agreed to have coffee with the two women the following week, and your mother's mood changed considerably, the complete opposite of what happened to you.

But you forced yourself to smile, and got up from the couch to get ready.

Around seven-thirty at night, you arrived at the place, which was already very busy, neon lights peeking through the windows along with the loud music.

"My goodness, look at you!" Greeted Carol cheerfully as soon as you met her at the counter. She turned around to hug you tight, and you felt your chest swell with happiness. You had missed your friend so much.

"You got a haircut" You comment in the same excitement, smiling at her. "I missed you, Danvers."

She smiles, mumbling that she missed you too. She asked you to sit on one of the stools at the front of the bar, and you did so while she went back behind the counter.

You updated each other a bit as she served some customers, and a while later, Bruce arrived.

"Banner I can't believe you are wearing a suit in a nightclub." Carol teased as she greeted her friend, making you chuckle slightly as Bruce explained that he didn't have time to look more casual.

"It's good to see you." He said to you as he hugged you, you repeated the words, then sat at the bar.

A few drinks and laughs later, Carol's shift ended, and she sat at a table with you two.

Between telling your friends about your progress in therapy, and hearing how Carol had left her previous job after punching a slacker client in the face, and learning that Bruce was working as an aspiring scientist, and lecturing around the country, the three of you had enough beers for the direction of the conversation to make your cheeks flush.

"I swear to you, she was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen!" Carol told you, making you and Bruce laugh at her excitement.

"Now you're going to say that the next second you saw the next most beautiful woman in the world?" You teased wryly, and Carol laughed as she told you to shut up. "Are you even dating this Gamora girl?"

Carol hid a smirk, taking a sip of her beer.

"Actually." She began. "We're living together."

You widened your eyes in surprise, and then laughed.

"My god, Carol Danvers in love!" You teased making her laugh as she flashed you her middle finger. "No, but seriously, that's amazing! I'm happy for you, Carol."

"Yes, yes." She says smiling, "But what about you? I know you and Nat were like, madly in love or whatever cheesy stuff you put in your books, but it's been months. It would be nice if you met someone new."

The topic is quite sensitive, and the mood at the table changes because of it. But you are far more embarrassed than upset, and you lower your gaze to your bottle before answering.

" Oh, well, i..." You begin half-heartedly. Your stomach does a flip-flop, because you are thinking of a person. "There is someone, I think. But I don't know if we're both ready to take that on yet."

Carol makes an agreeing noise with her mouth, and then has an insinuating little smile on her face.

"Do you still remember how to be with a girl, champ?" your friend teases, and you nudge her shoulder shyly as she and Bruce laugh.

"Aren't those things like riding a bike?" The other man asked timidly, getting a wry look from Carol.

"You know, Bruce, your innocence is admirable." Carol teases making you laugh.

"Don't be mean." You say poking her lightly in the ribs, but Bruce doesn't really care. It's been that way since college when he told you guys he was asexual. The whole thing was funny because Carol has always been very, very sexual. And they have been teasing each other about it for years.

"Ah but I won't be, I promise." She assures. "Actually, I'm much more interested in hearing about your new girlfriend."

You laugh shyly, drinking some of your beer.

"I don't have a girlfriend."

Carol laughed, her gaze running around the room before returning to you.

"Well, that blonde girl has been looking over here for a few moments. I have a girlfriend, and Bruce doesn't like sex. I guess you're the one who's going to have to talk to her."

You widened your eyes at your friend's words, looking forward quickly.

A blond woman was indeed staring at your table.

"I don't think that's a good idea." You mumble clumsily, and Carol gives a little laugh.

"That's too bad, because now that you've looked, she's going to come here." Your friend warns, and you choke on your beer when you see the girl actually getting up from the countertop.

"Carol, help me." You awkwardly whisper but your friend just laughs, and then the stranger catches up with you all.

"Hi." She greets sensually, looking up at you. You swallow dryly as your friend holds back a giggle. "Would you like to dance?"

"I-I..."

"Use your words." Carol teased lowly next to you, making the girl laugh at your clumsiness.

"Don't be shy, I don't bite." The girl added maliciously. " Unless you ask me to."

You feel your face heat up with embarrassment, and you spread your mouth open, not knowing what to say next. Carol murmurs impressed.

"Sorry, sweetie, she used to function better than that." Carol interrupts the interaction, taking pity on your distress. "I think she's taken. But if it's just a dance, we can all enjoy it together."

The girl bites her lips, seeming to consider. She takes one last look at you, and then accepts the invitation.

This is how you end up on a dance floor, trying to escape the hands of a stranger.

You remember how to dance, and the drink helps a lot. But there are hands running over your body before the woman turns around and starts rubbing against you in rhythm with the music. You feel your breath catch, the excitement of having so much intimate contact after so long reaching you completely.

"Are you sure you're taken?" She whispers against your ear, and you give a short laugh, feeling your head spin.

"Yes." You half-heartedly assure her, using all the rest of your drunken control to push her hands away from you.

The woman didn't mind, stealing a short kiss on your cheek before dancing away, swaying her hips.

Carol threw her arms around you next.

"Wow, you really are in love!" She enthusiastically shouts to be heard between the beats of the music. You laugh with flushed cheeks, saying you need to take some air.

Your friend continues to dance, pulling Bruce close, and the man laughs awkwardly as he puts his arms around the blonde. You chuckle at the scene before turning to go outdoors.

It is easier to breathe outside.

Your first action is to take your cell phone out of your pocket, and check your notifications. Your heart melts when you open a message from Wanda. It is a picture of her and the boys, lying together between a comforter. The caption reads "movie night, doesn't even look like they were jumping on the couch two minutes ago".

You stare at the picture for a few seconds after sending a heart emoji to Wanda. And then you gasp softly, realizing. You really are in love with her. Like in romance movies, and fairy tale books. But also like the real thing. Because you love Wanda's company, her sharp jokes, the way she talks and behaves and cares for everyone. You don't want to be in a bar, or meet another girl. You want to be wrapped in a comforter with Wanda and the kids.

Trying not to panic at this conclusion, you put your cell phone back in your pocket, deciding to go back inside to say goodbye to your friends.

//-//

You are trying to find a way to tell Wanda how you feel. The problem is that you are insecure, because you have no idea if she is ready for a relationship again. You don't even know if she likes women.

With so much suffering in the past months, you also don't want to face a broken heart. So you decide to wait and see how things will turn out.

It is something about the way your life is completely intertwined in Wanda's now, in the same way that she has wrapped herself around your heart that makes you sigh when you think about it everything.

You are distracted while you work, and Monica smiles because you have a smirk while tinkering in the gardens, which is clearly not related to the plants. She doesn't say anything, because it's the same way Wanda smiles when you bring her coffee, or when you two come back from lunch. She can only be excited to think how it will be to organize your wedding.

It is at lunch after group therapy that Wanda invites you to her father's wedding anniversary party. You hadn't met him yet, and a party was a good thing, because you wouldn't have all his attention on you, and it lessens your anxiety considerably.

The party will be at Wanda's father's country house, and you will be able to cross the "take a trip" goal off your therapy to-do list.

In the meantime, you prepare to see Natasha's mother.

It is a Thursday, and you set aside your lunch period for this, because you really don't want this meeting to last more than an hour.

Your mother and Melina are already in the restaurant when you arrive, and you nod politely to the woman when you sit down at the table, signaling that she doesn't need to get up.

"So, what did you want?" you ask snidely, earning a scolding from your mother. Melina doesn't seem to mind your aggressiveness however.

"Let's order something to eat first please." Your mother says before the other woman can respond. You roll your eyes, not disagreeing.

After the waitress takes your orders and leaves, you cross your arms impatiently.

"Look, I know it's hard for you to hear from me after all this time..." The woman begins.

"Hard for me?" You cut her off with irony. "No, Melina. I was not the daughter you abandoned. It was just hard for Nat not to have you around. I simply don't like you myself."

"Honey" Your mother warns, but you let out a dry laugh.

"No, really." You continue firmly. "What do you really want with me?"

Melina sighs, straightening herself in her chair.

"Your mother told me that you intend to sell Natasha's apartment." She says. "I don't approve of such a decision."

You stare at her for a moment, and then let out a laugh.

"I should have known you'd only show up for the money." You say feeling your stomach turn with anger. Melina rolls her eyes, but doesn't deny it. Your mother looks surprised that you are right.

"I gave that apartment to Natasha..."

" I beg your pardon?" you interrupt angrily, your loud tone attracting the attention of the next table. "You gave her the apartment? Are you listening to yourself now?"

"We don't need to get carried away." She asked with irritation in her eyes, drawing a nasal laugh of indignation from you. "You know I'm right."

"No, Melina." You retort seriously, lowering your tone. "Clarify for me how you can possibly think that putting an apartment full of debt in your daughter's name to escape the state, making her work two shifts to pay for everything, sets up like giving an apartment to someone?"

"You are manipulating the facts." She hits back and you nod in disbelief, closing your eyes momentarily. "I had financial problems, and Nat didn't object when I suggested..."

"She was 15." You cut in. "You forgot that little detail right? You also forgot about going to the guardianship board to emancipate your 15 year old daughter just so she could take on a debt of yours?" You asked angrily. "Oh, did you forget about Nat working in a diner throughout her teenage years to pay for everything?"

Melina clenched her jaw, glaring at you angrily. You really weren't in the least bit of patience for this conversation, and it was a good thing the waitress arrived with your orders, because you were about to turn the table.

"I am not hungry anymore." You grumble as soon as the waitress leaves and you look down at your food, your stomach turning. Then you look forward. "When I sell the apartment, I will talk to your lawyer and if you are entitled to anything, you can rest assured that it will come in the mail. Now do me a favor, and never look for me again."

After saying these words to Melina, you exchange a quick glance with your mother and get up, walking to the exit.

//-//

You are pretty upset about the whole Melina thing, but your mood improves almost immediately when Wanda invites you to visit her.

Actually, she needs help with the kids, because she's busy with a rich lady's wedding that required priority on the flower project, and the summer vacation started that week.

Monica was helping Wanda with the whole design, so you and Pietro would take care of the kids.

It was quite fun to do it, because you loved children. Pietro even had the bright idea of setting up a little lemonade stand outside Wanda's house, and while the other women were working, you and he took the kids outdoors.

"Don't you think a million dollars is a lot of money for a glass of lemonade, Billy?" you ask the boy as you watch him put several zeros on the price cardboard. Pietro laughs as he helps his daughter pin up her hair.

"I don't know." The kid tells you without stopping drawing. "I'm a kid, I've never paid anything."

You laugh, looking forward. You and Pietro are sitting on chairs placed on the grass while the children play around the lemonade stand.

When some of the neighbors buy the lemonade, you tell Billy that a gold coin is worth a million, and he doesn't argue.

The temperature rises considerably throughout the day, and around two in the afternoon you and Pietro decide that it would be good to take the kids swimming.

"Call the wives please." Pietro says to you as you stand in the living room after you two walk back in and put everything away, and he is helping the children put on bathing suits. You feel your face heat up at the innocent insinuation of Wanda being your wife, but you say nothing and he doesn't even seem to notice.

You knock on the door, then enter the office, and smile at the two women inside, who seemed to be concentrating on their own papers.

"Let's go for a quick swim girls?" You ask, ignoring the way your stomach gets butterflies when Wanda looks up at you.

Monica lets out an excited exclamation.

"Yes, please!" She says. "This room feels like an oven!"

You and Wanda laugh, and you make room for Monica to walk past you.

"Any chance you have a bathing suit in my size?" You ask Wanda next, and she bites back a smile, thoughtful.

"Let 's find out."

//-//

It is only upstairs that you realize that you have never been in Wanda's bedroom before.

All the times you have been here, you were reserved for the living room, the kitchen and the office. Except for the times you were in the twins' bedroom, and well, when you used the bathroom.

You stood still a bit past the entrance, not knowing exactly what to do with your hands as Wanda searched the closets for a bathing suit for you.

"You know you can look around right?" Wanda commented with playfulness in her speech, making you chuckle shyly.

Stepping forward, you twiddled your fingers together nervously as you looked around. You smiled at the decorations, and especially at the pictures on the dresser.

"Damn, I think I only have one pair." Wanda grumbled as she closed the closet, turning to you next, a swimsuit in her hands. "Do you want to wear it?"

You smiled wryly.

"Not if it's the only one you have." You say. "Don't worry, I'll keep my T-shirt on."

"Don't be silly, it's really hot outside. I'll lend you a bra."

Wanda leaves her swimsuit on the bed and walks over to the dresser behind you. You step aside to give her room to open the drawers.

You look quickly away from the underwear drawer, feeling your heart race at the intimacy of this moment. It only gets worse when Wanda hands you a black sports top, which she is glad to have found.

"Thank you, Wands." You mutter as you accept the garment.

You widen your eyes as Wanda begins to unbutton the shirt she is wearing, but before you have a heart attack, she flashes you a small smile and picks up the swimsuit from the bed, turning toward the bathroom as she uses her free hand to keep the shirt closed.

You take advantage of Wanda's exit to quickly take your shirt off, put on the top and then the T-shirt over it.

A moment later she returns, and your breath catches in your throat.

"This swimsuit has a tie in the back, can you help me with that?" Wanda asks distractedly as she tucks her hair into a bun. You swallow dryly, trying to keep your gaze off her exposed legs.

Wanda stands facing the dresser, watching you approach through the mirror. You ignore your uncompensated heartbeat as you stare back at her, and let out a shy smile as you lower your gaze when you notice her flushed cheeks as you stand right behind her.

Raising your fingers to the height of her back, you gently touch the skin exposed by the opening of her swimsuit. The contact makes every inch of the woman's skin shiver in front of you, and she sighs softly, the sound making your stomach turn.

You risk looking forward again, at your reflection, only to find Wanda's mouth ajar, her eyes dark. You risk dragging your fingers further inside the fabric, making her choke lightly.

Completely mesmerized by the way Wanda's body responds to your touch, you raise your other hand, trailing a finger up from the length of her coccyx to the opening of her swimsuit, watching Wanda close her fists as her cheeks redden.

You can hear the sounds of her uncompensated breathing, but you can also hear the muffled laughter from the distance downstairs, and that motivates you enough to ignore the trembling of your fingers as you zip up Wanda's swimsuit.

"W-we should go downstairs." You whisper in a hoarse voice, ignoring the urge to rip off Wanda's swimsuit.

The redhead swallows dryly before slowly turning toward you. Your faces are so close that you can feel her breath on your cheek.

"I..."

"Mommy why are you taking so long?" Billy's muffled scream coming from the backyard through the window makes you and Wanda jump in fright.

Pietro and Tommy repeat the same sentence next, and you clear your throat, taking a step back. Wanda can't keep her gaze on you as you both walk down to the pool outside.

You can only distract yourself from the feel of Wanda's skin on your fingers because you play in the pool with everyone, and these thoughts are pushed to the back of your mind for the rest of the afternoon.

It is only when you have to leave, after the children have had a bath, and are dressed in comfortable clothes in front of the television, and you have hugged Monica and Pietro goodbye that these thoughts come flooding back when you have to repeat the gesture with Wanda.

You disguise yourself, smiling politely at the couple standing behind the redhead as you let your arms circle her waist as you hug her. Resisting the urge to close your eyes and sink your face into Wanda's neck, who has her hands on your shoulders, you hold back a sigh as you pull away.

"See you on Monday." You murmur in a husky voice, and the redhead nods, her gaze falling quickly to your lips.

You think you'd better get in the car before you lose control of your body.

//-//

Startled slightly, you opened your eyes with difficulty. Someone was calling you, but it must have been very late, because you couldn't see anything in the room but the blinking light on your dresser.

Grumbling, you stretched your arm out to reach for your vibrating cell phone and answer the call.

"Hello?" you asked in a voice hoarse from sleep, closing your eyes again.

"Hey, sorry to wake you." It was Wanda, and her whiny voice made you open your eyes quickly, worried.

"Wanda? Did something happen?"

"Yeah." She agrees, sniffling softly. "I just... I'm so sad. The whole fucking time. Then Tony came over and started saying these things and now I'm crying and I can't stop. I'm sorry, it's not your problem, I shouldn't have called and..."

"I'm coming."

You think Wanda tried to say something to stop you, but you ended the call as you stood up.

"Where are you going?" Your mother asked as soon as you came downstairs, and you were startled to find her awake, but you didn't ask as you noticed the laptop in your lap.

"Wanda." You mumble simply, looking for your keys.

"Kitchen countertop." She informed and you muttered a thank you as you picked up the item from the mentioned spot. "You know, if you're going to start leaving the house at dawn to see her, it might be best to move in with her."

You chuckled awkwardly at the comment as you put on your shoes.

"Try to get some sleep, work will still be there in the morning." You tell her to change the subject, and your mother sighs, turning her attention back to the screen. "You don't have to wait up for me."

"Oh, I figured." She teases last making you roll your eyes in embarrassment before opening the door to leave.

//-//

You didn't have to knock on the door, because as soon as you parked the car and got out, you had a view of the outside garden porch, and you could see Wanda sitting on the rocking bench, looking at the ground.

You sighed, opening the garden gate to enter the backyard.

Making a noise with your feet so as not to startle her, you felt your heart squeeze as she wiped her tears away quickly, turning her head to the side. You sighed, taking a seat on the bench in front of her, rocking it slightly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You asked a moment later, and from the redhead's silence, you figured not. But she nodded next, looking down at her own feet. "Tell me what happened then."

It takes a moment, but Wanda speaks. She tells how Tony Stark showed up at her door at three in the morning, saying that he blamed himself for his brother death but that this was a good thing now because it was exactly what he needed to change his life and stop drinking, and that she punched him in the nose, saying that this was always his problem, everything was always about him. Tony promised that he would be someone decent now, that he was going to change, and Wanda just pushed him away, telling him to go change somewhere else.

"I feel like the worst person in the world right now." She grumbles as soon as she finishes narrating.

"Why?"

"Tony has been an alcoholic since he was fifteen, and he's finally getting better. I think he was in need of someone to help him."

You shook your head, letting out a short laugh.

"And why is that your problem?" you retorted, surprising her. "Wanda you are under no obligation to suppress your feelings to make others feel better. You have every right to feel angry with Tony. And to not want him in your life again."

Wanda takes a deep breath, burying her face in her hands for a moment, as if trying to believe your words.

You bit the inside of your cheek, deciding whether to speak what you wanted to.

"Wands?" You called after her, and she looked at you. "You said you were sad. Do you want to talk about that too?"

The redhead looks away from you, a weak smile on her lips.

"I don't know how to talk about it really." She starts by looking down at her feet. "I never did."

You wait, stretching your leg out and lightly tapping your feet together with her on the floor. Wanda smiles at the movement, and then bites her lips.

"I think it started when I was a kid." She counters thoughtfully, her gaze straying to the yard around her. "Ever since mama died, or maybe before. There's this sadness, stuck in my chest. And no matter what I do, it won't go away."

You listen intently, waiting for Wanda to finish.

"When I was younger, Papa worked all day and Mama took care of me and Pietro. But she got sick, and granny came to live with us to help. I was ten when she died, and Pietro's anxiety got worse." She swallows dryly, as if the memories are choking her. "Granny didn't know how to help my brother, so I took care of him myself. And when we were in high school, she got sick too. And well, Dad didn't know what to do really, so I took care of her at home while he and Pietro worked to pay for the medications." She adds, and sniffles lightly. "I just remember being tired. All the damn time. I'd go to school, and come home, and I'd eat, and play, and watch TV, but I wasn't really there. I started to think that's how everybody else felt, because I had a normal life, and I had no reason to feel sad."

You frown slightly, but bite your tongue to keep from interrupting.

"Grandma died just before I graduated, and I barely had time to miss her, busy with college applications, and taking care of the funeral at the same time." She counters with a wry laugh, as if realizing how unfair it was that she was left to take care of everything by herself. "And then I met Vis, and he was sweet and kind and he was everything anyone could want. The perfect boyfriend, perfect friend, and brother and husband. So I choked down that sadness, because it wasn't fair that I was with someone so amazing, and I wasn't satisfied." She recounts as she lets the tears flow. "When the twins came, everyone told me that my life was complete. That children were exactly what everyone wanted, and that I had the perfect life. So I kept that image."

Wanda raises her hand to wipe away a tear that ran down her cheek, but others kept falling next.

"With Vis's death, everything started to fall apart on me." She says after a pause, biting her lips slightly to hold back the crying. She lets out a nasal laugh next. "But I wasn't going to let that happen, so I gathered the pieces together. I put a smile on my face and continued to be the mother my children needed. And then I met you."

You frown in confusion, but Wanda does not look at you. She runs her hands through her hair, shaking her head slightly.

"You came into my life at its worst possible moment. And all you did was make me feel better again." Wanda declared with a sigh, and you felt your cheeks heat up, looking away to your feet. "You don't expect me to be happy, or polite, or sociable. You don't care that I get cranky and irritable, that I wanted to skip work or eat junk food." She counters, wiping a tear from her cheek. "I feel like I can breathe again, because when you look at me you don't judge me like everyone else. You just listen, and observe. And take care of me."

You sigh, impacted by the intensity of the confessions. You think that if you keep quiet long enough, Wanda can hear your heart beating fast.

The redhead takes a deep breath, twisting her fingers slightly before speaking again.

"That's why I called." She counters in a sigh. Her eyes fill with tears again, but she doesn't let them fall. "You've been the only person who makes me feel this way. And when Tony came along I felt I was drowning into those terrible thoughts again. I needed you to pull me back up."

You raise your head to Wanda, but she is looking down at the floor, her cheeks flushed. You smile, rising to sit beside her.

"I will." You whisper as you interlace your fingers, looking forward. Wanda stares at your entwined hands before leaning her head on your shoulder.

"Thank you." She murmurs a moment later.

"Don't mention it." You reply in the same tone.

You stand like this for many minutes, Wanda wiggling your fingers together. You are about to close your eyes when a childish voice startles you a little.

"Mommy?" it's Billy, dressed in adorable teddy bear pajamas, scratching his eyes sleepily. "Why are you out here?"

Wanda looks at him in surprise.

"Come here dear." Wanda asks signaling with her free hand for Billy to approach. The boy yawns, walking over to you two. You mess up his hair as Wanda releases her hand to sit her son on her own lap.

"Why are you here, Y/N?" The boy asks sleepily, making you and Wanda smile at how cute he looks.

"I am a friend of your mother's, Billy, I come whenever she needs me." You reply with a smile, trying not to be affected by the way Wanda looks at you.

"You should come more often, y/n. Mom is happy when you are around." Billy declares causing Wanda to let out a surprised exclamation, and you feel your heart race.

"Oh, really?" You tease with a little smile, and Wanda pushes her shoulder against yours lightly. "I promise I'll visit more often then."

"You can live here!" Billy exclaims excitedly next, making you laugh in surprise.

"Don't be silly, Billy." Wanda adds embarrassed. "We don't have a room."

"She can sleep with you mommy." Billy retorts as if it's obvious, "Daddy's not here anymore, and your bed is too big, because it fits Tommy and me together!"

You swallow dryly, surprised and embarrassed at the way Billy is casual above all, but mostly worried that this comparison might have hurt Wanda. But she lets out a little laugh, shaking her head.

"It's time for bed, enough of this talk" Wanda warns the boy next, getting up with him on her lap.

You accompany the two of them into the house, waiting until Wanda comes downstairs after putting Billy to bed.

Billy's words in your head were still echoing when Wanda suggested that you sleep in her bed after she came downstairs, and part of you wanted to, but you figured that night wasn't the best time. So you slept on the couch, and left after breakfast, ignoring how warm your chest felt at the image of the table with Wanda and the twins having coffee.

//-//

Your first stop after leaving Wanda's house was the cemetery.

Taking a deep breath, you stared at the memorial stone in the ground. The small photograph of Natasha carved into the stone.

"I miss you, pchelka" You whispered softly, leaving your hands in your pockets as you looked down. Your chest hurt less than the first time you came here, but the pain was still there. You imagined that it always would be. "I won't ever stop. But I want to live again. I hope you won’t be mad at me, from wherever you are, and understand that."

Part of you knew that Natasha would be happy for you. It was one of the reasons you loved her so much.

Kneeling down, you pulled out of your pocket the items you had left in the car's glove box a few days ago, planning to do this since the day of the bar.

" This belongs to you." You whispered, after digging in the grass next to the headstone, and pulling out of the small wrapping your wedding rings. You placed the metal in the dirt, along with the daffodil seeds you brought with you. Using some of the water from the bottle you had in your hands, you watered after burying the items. "Rest in peace, my love."

#wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #wandaxyou #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x you #wanda x yn #wanda maximoff x you #marvel imagines #sorry for your loss

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