#okay i should definitely take a break. starting to feel really bad about my writing capability shkdlhg

[howdidigetbacktowritingwhat]

(CRAWLING OUT OF THE DEPTHS OF HELL) FOUR

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Hello, can I get more stories about yandere cheerleaders and the yandere soccer team ? It's okay if you don't want to write it right now. May you be happy and healthy. Be together with everyone for a longggggg time !

Yandere Cheerleaders + Football Team (2)

Last Post

The thing about having two of the most dedicated and competitive teams obsessing over you definitely means protection but it also means being the main point of their tug-of-war

While they’re more than gung-ho about chasing off anyone else at the college who’s thinking of being more than acquaintances 

When they’re aren’t bigger fish to fry they start looking at each other

“Look, we already planned to study with them so you need to back off!”

“Ha, you ‘planned’ to. We asked them already so unless you’d like to explain why we can’t hang–you back off!”

“Our Captain–!”

“Clearly isn’t updated on (Y/n)’s time. Better take your pom poms and go do that.”

“You’ll pay for this!” 

Just because the Captains who’ve headed this interest are dating doesn’t mean the animosity between their teams goes away

“That’s what they said? Really? You know your girls have a tendency to exaggerate.”

“Exaggerate!? Your muscle brains went and posted all the evidence needed. No, they did not exaggerate they asked them and you know how weak they are if they’re asked by the group! Which is why we made the rule–!”

“I know. I know. They probably were just tired of the stalling, the week started and they haven’t gotten any alone time.”

“Yeah well now they’re going to pay for it, the girls are vengeful before they are patient.”

“Can’t you stop them, we have a big game on Thursday.”

“No we have competitions on Wednesday and if the girls don’t have their blood our competitors are going to get more than just their butts kicked. And I refuse to bribe those judges anymore. ”

“Please baby just this once.”

“No.”

“...”

“...”

“Alright guess we’ll have to duke this out later.”

“Yeah, now do you want to invite them over for takeout or go over to theirs for takeout?”

“Oooh, we haven’t been in a while! Let’s go to theirs!”

They do end up agreeing amicably

But that doesn’t mean the teams do

Whoever’s turn it is as decided by the Captains is always happier

It’s the ones who don’t that begin to talk amongst themselves

“I love our captain but he’s such a pushover!”

“Yeah, a leader should be a leader over his woman too!”

“But have you seen the cheer captain? She’s scary!”

“Yeah but the question comes up at some point who do you love more? The witchy cheer chic or (Y/n)?”

“That’s an obvious answer for me!”

“(Y/n) all the way!”

The cheer team is no different, barely waiting for their captain to leave the bathroom before scoffing

“I can’t believe she screwed us over again.”

“Hate to say it but did you really think she’d hold her ground to him?”

“Yeah, you guys remember that one ex right? She abandoned us back in Summer just for his that greaser wannabe.”

“Hmmm true…Hey do you guys think she’d dumb Captain manscape if (Y/n) asked?”

“Oooh that might be fun to find out!”

But despite how malicious it sounds the heart of those teams knows not to act they know better

… or most of them

There’s one or two in both teams that break 

Usually hinting at the cheer captain’s doing something awful to you

Cheating on the other or talking bad about you to the new students you’ve been trying to be friends with

While they’ll swoon in the moment because you’re hanging off their every word it never lasts

By the time they return to fraternity or sorority, the dream is over

And they're about to feel the worst and last pain in their life

“Look ladies here’s someone who’s threatened our flock…MY flock. New Girl!”

“Yes, Captain!”

“What do we do with the mockingbirds?

“We push them out the nest?”

“Very good!”

On the cheer squad, a simple alone time or texting without informing two other cheerleaders is humiliation by way of social media

Flirting with you earns a spanking by the vice leader

And attempting to undermine the captain…well let’s say the Cheer team is careful to wear  their running mascara when one of their teammate's severed hand appears a couple of miles off campus

No one really knows exactly what happens

Just that the only thing that identifies their old teammate is the obscure telltale feature

Like the green manicured nail on her index, the only one not torn off 

As for the Football Team they tend not to make it too imaginative

NOT because they aren’t smart…they just don’t need to be that creative with it

Plus they’re not that great at cleaning their own messes

“Captain, can I do the honors? I’ve got something special for our…dear friend.”

"Go for it."

“Edibles, the big M, a couple of high-grade stuff from our pharma buddies, and for an extra touch something out of this world to make sure you regret all that you’ve done.”

They’re big fans of injection

Holding the offender down and give one two three if they’re awful shots and then letting them loose

On a club’s rooftop, or a dodgy club, or even on their football field 

it’s just the horrible drugs that leave them totally unaware by the rabid dog pack or the unfenced edge or the sketchy people hovering near them

It’s textbook after all that kids too focused on their careers just get lost in the drugs

A shame that this pandemic isn’t exempt from infesting Energi University

It’s a little sloppy because they don’t always die

But thanks to their indulgent cocktails they sure won’t be remembering or even capable of getting a proper sentence out

“Honey, I wanted to congratulate you on that good catch you did. I was really impressed with that blend.”

“Thanks, babe but don’t think I didn’t notice how you killed that cheer!”

“....Are you guys talking in code because I really don’t get it.”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it hon! Now about that takeout.”

“Yeah babe, we’ll pay for it and put on a movie or somethin’.”

“Oh but then it’ll be dark and even if your together I wouldn’t want you guys out there with all the danger around campus lately.”

“Then we’ll stay over!”

“Wait–”

“Yeah, it’s cool we don’t mind cuddling up with you.”

“Yup! Not at all!”

“Uh okay I guess.”

“Oh also you’re free to come to our practices right?”

“Yeah, both teams have been missing you real bad.”

Thanks for the well wishes anon! 🖤🖤🖤🖤 Rules | Kofi | Commissions

[nerdsnuff]

KEI TSUKISHIMA BOYFRIEND HCS. gender neutral reader, fluff, no warnings.

icl i had fun with this also fun fact i wrote this before my drabble (which i linked in here LOL that one pointer was so good i had to write a whole moment for it) THIS IS AN OLD DRAFT

☽ SLOWBURN KING. it WILL take awhile for you to date him. but that’s okay, just don’t give up on him trust. will definitely deny his feelings for you… but he doesn’t mean it one bit! he just has a difficult time showing affection and being vulnerable at first. treat him nice even if he’s mean to you! seems unfair, sure, but honestly if you snap back he’ll learn where his place is. sooo don’t be too much of a pushover! he just likes getting under your skin cause he thinks it’s fun.

☽ a good way to woo him is to flatter him. yup! absolutely he’ll tell you to shut up when you compliment him, but his face gets all blushy, heheh. (you should make fun of him)

tsukishima blinks as he hears a compliment fall from your lips, telling him how cool and impressive he is, and how you can really see he’s getting super good! he clicks his tongue and looks away. “shut up” is all he can muster in a weak tone. even if you can’t see his face the tips of his ears are bright pink, making his embarrassment clear as day.

☽ yamaguchi is the best wingman and your guys’ biggest supporter! he knows tsukishima has feelings for you and would keep nagging him about it (much to his dismay)

☽ you’d most likely have to be the one to confess. going to yamaguchi for help is just a natural process honestly (GIGGLES)

he laughs a little as you clasp your hands together, begging him to PLEASE tell you how to actually attract this annoyingly hot blonde. “hey,” he starts, voice soft. “he already likes you, y’know? sorry to spoil that but—i just wanted to assure you! so whatever you do… and however you say it, it’d be good in his book, i’m sure!” he says this nervously, yet simultaneously remaining confident in his own words of advice.

☽ once you date it may take a bit to fully melt the ice. as i said, slowburn king. yes even until the beginning of the relationship. but don’t worry, he likes you so much. his pale skin is always pink around you! if you ever doubt it, the best thing to do is have a serious talk with him about it, it’ll help him lower his walls.

☽ loves you a lot but shows it discreetly… holding fingertips, showing you random songs (cause they remind him of you), teasingly ruffling your hair, sharing stuff with you, etc.

☽ always smiles when talking to you. he only smiles around a very specific group of people and it’s also rare sight, but you always make him smile very often and very bright.

☽ of course he’ll share his headphones with you. and you know how it is, HEADPHONES OFF AROUND YOU! he’ll listen to everything you say.

☽ he gets his romantic advice from love songs. so he may be stupid sometimes in the romantic department.

☽ would love music recs from you. he might be picky with the genre, but has the will to try anything, no matter how heavy or slow. (…or bad)

“what the fuck is this?” he asks, a disgusted look on his face as you hold your stomach, dying from laughter. “‘my name is david’? these are the shittiest lyrics i’ve ever heard in my life turn this off” he says, scrabbling for your phone on the edge of the bed.

☽ MATCHING THINGS!!!! oh he looves that. the day he suddenly buys you matching charms you shat yourself a little. cause though he wont admit it, he likes enjoying and understanding the same things as the people he cares about.

☽ lowkey has trust issues sometimes, it’s not too big but it’s best to show him just how much you really can be counted on! DON’T EVER BREAK HIS TRUST. lying is a BIG NO. seriously…

☽ don’t judge him for his past when he tells it to you… dont downplay it, hed be upset. he knows it’s not too much of a big deal, but still, feeling betrayed by your idol feels tough, y’know?

☽ acts like he doesn’t wanna do shit but he does. he just has this stupid cool guy act. but once you get under that he’s a cutiepie

[lynnie-s3all]

Either chance or two time and my life is yours 🙏🙏

If i take both to become a whole trio ship, what would i think of that honestly? eh.. I'm going for chance.

(im so tired i did not sleep the whole hour.)

Chance x Support reader headcanons

Being a gambler eh? Must be a tough luck each time.

Remember that small imagine heads up for Chance i made? If i add that here, i think i can finish up the whole oneshot about that so far. But anyway let's start from how he REALLY. met you.

This one probably took place where you all are trying to survive from that John Doe killer. Yeah you heard me right.

He was almost dying low on health and you we're the survivor, or at least i should say the support survivor. You're basically like elliot but a special one. But still killable anyway.

Well how did he find you, BEHIND A WALL OFC (im joking you know almost all maps have a wall to hide from them yk.)

Well you're good on being on at least 80 percent of your health before you start rapidly dying if you get hit by one of his spikes.

Yeah. So chance came up to you and ask if you have any medkit, and of course you do have one but you didn't plan on using it anyway.

He kinda told you that while he was outrunning from the dude with a spiky arm on his left arm, his luck apparently got worsen cause it gave him weakness for half a second. You of course. Well what can you do?

You made a deal with him that if he can distract John Doe and let him attack Shedletsky and Guest, they would take care of the whole thing while he can basically just stun him out after.

He agreed to that deal. WELL WHAT'S YOUR SKILL THOUGH? You basically removed his weakness passive skill and replace it with speed (2). Ok but like, that's pretty unnecessary Zyran.

Well did he do something? Yeah. He decided to bride carry you to a safe zone where not any killer can find you, i really have no idea where he can find that place..

You stayed there for a while, and throughout the whole run, he was energized like he took 5 cans of energy drink straight up in his mouth. Anddd he did shoot John Doe to stun him too. How nice.

Hey, at least you're okay. I mean, in less than a few minutes you'll be fine. The round is almost over.

He went back to the same spot where he had placed you, and you just greet him with a casual "hi again" and act like nothing just happened.

Surprise surprise, he wasn't that amused a lot. But his heart definitely can tell he HAD FEELINGS?

(Wow what a bad story romance you got there zyran.)

Yeah possibly, HE DOES HAVE FEELINGS, but at the same time, why did i write a whole story headcanon about what happened instead of thinking about THE WHOLE LOVE STORY?

Top it off the notch, you two met each other at the bar once again from what happened like a few weeks ago since you two just wnated a break from that whole survivor killer thing...

and there. that's where the whole entire imagine heads up Chance started.

Do i need to tell more? Oh yea I WOULD.

(You might ask, Zyrannnnn, isn't this already a perfect one made by you so far? )

(Uh I'm gonna be honest with you, that whole entire writing thing wasn't really a satire stuff i do mostly because i saw other people write a whole oneshot about forsaken and i really wanted to get back into writing because my motivation is deep down shit. And back like in 2022, i used to write a whole onshot fanfiction that's based from a fnf mod. Yeah my old 14 year old self was proud into making one of those.)

(sorry for the ramble, i just want people to know that.)

[multifariousqueer]

starving for jealous Earth 42 Miles

OFC!!!!! Imma do this head cannon style bc why not 🤷🏽‍♀️

A/n: Continue to request stuff for both of our boys! Also I love writing for y’all ❤️

Warnings: jealousy, miles being possessive, fluff, suggestive situations

Jealous Earth42!Miles headcannons

I feel like he would try to be subtle about it but it shows

Definitely makes you wear his clothes 24/7 or makes sure ya’ll match

Makes sure you wear the jewelry he bought you and had it engraved so you’ll know who you belong to. Because, he sees you as his prize, his doll, his special beacon of light and he wants everyone to know that you’re taken

Hates some of your friends because he’s so possessive of you

“Y/n I just think you should drop her” “Why?” “Cuz she hates me and she’s tryna break us up. Also, I hate how she’s so nosy I don’t like that” “Miiiileesss come on, she’s been my friend for two years, she wouldn’t do that"

He had a point tho

He's def suspicious when you hang out with your guy friends(don’t even get me started if you hang out with them alone)

“What do you mean you’re hanging out with him tonight? Nah nah nah I better be there. No quiero que te aleje de mi” “Miles baby, Tengo los ojos llenos de ganas de verte"

“Miles are you jealous?” “no. I just don’t want people to take you from me” “Miles thats called jealousy.” “no its not; jealousy is feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages or being suspicious of a partner in a relationship. I’m not suspicious of you, Mami because I know you’re not that stupid and you’re all mine so I have nothing to be envious of” “Damn, you’re right” “what’s new?"

Best believe when you are around people, he will slip an arm around you and kiss you on the temple

Death glares the guy you’re talking to and definitely stands up straighter

makes it KNOWN you’re taken

“Hey man, she’s taken, Aléjate de Ella!”

The guy doesn’t know what that means but judging by the way Miles said it, he knew to back off

I feel like Miles gets hit on by a very select group of people who think they could change him or he could be their “bad boy” but Miles only really has eyes for you

Makes sure he wears his matching bracelet you got him all the time

Knows you won’t drop any of your friends unless something important went down so he just makes sure everyone knows your his

Holds your hand a lot

Will speak for you

“Hey, Y/n wanna go to the carnival on Saturday?” “yeah sur-“ “We have plans for Saturday right, Y/n?” “not for all day tho-“ “I have something planned for Saturday and I’m not telling you the time.” “oh okay! sorry guys"

You hate it when he does that

Thats one of the many reasons why your friends hate Miles

At the end of the day, you still have to reassure him that you’re all his and he’s all yours

[joeybrr9]

Part 3 - Vogue

Summary: Aurora's dreams come true at vogue but she also get's a surprise visitor

Warnings: None

a/n: Do we like Ja'Marr and Aurora's friendship?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aurora spent the last couple days in the studio. She was trying to finish up one last song before the album would be ready to release. The record label wanted to release Espresso next week and Aurora had mixed feelings. She was ready to hop back into the music world but Aurora also felt the pressure to live up to what Midnights was. The label also had plans to release a second single. Aurora couldn’t decide if she wanted to release her song “Please Please Please” or “Don’t Smile.” She had to admit, “Don’t Smile” was her favorite out of the two. Aurora really took her time while writing that song and it felt so personal. “Please Please Please” was such a fun song about begging a man not to break her heart. Something Aurora was used to doing. She was lost in thought in her studio when Mark came in.

“Okay Rory, you have your fitting in 3 hours for Vogue. I’m not sure what they are gonna put you in yet so let's not wear a lot of makeup.”

“I still can’t believe they want ME to be in one of their fashion shows!” Aurora squealed. So many things had gone wrong for her in the last year but also she had been so blessed.

“You do realize how popular you are right? You aren’t just some singer. You’re right behind Taylor this year for streams on Spotify and Apple Music. You’re fucking killing the game.” 

“I’m gonna blush Marky. Stop it.” Aurora giggled while taking off her headset and grabbing her phone. After her two disastrous interviews last week her phone has been on constant DND. The first person to call her was Sydney, asking when the fuck she started getting dicked down by Burrow. Taylor also called to reassure her that it would blow over and the worst fans could do is ship the quarterback and singer together. This didn’t seem to calm Aurora much because she had chewed off her acrylic nails and had to get them replaced. 

She did notice that the infamous quarterback had taken time out of his day to follow her on Instagram, meaning he definitely saw that interview. Embarrassing. Maybe Ja’Marr just told Joe what happened, that’s what Aurora liked to tell herself. 

Ja’Marr and Aurora had become close ever since her break up with Paul. She knew Ja’Marr from when she attended a Bengals game his rookie year in 2021. They exchanged numbers to stay in touch and eventually a friendship developed. A couple times Aurora wondered if something more would come out of it but they always stayed friends. Ja’Marr is one the sweetest people Aurora has ever met in her life, it was probably for the best that they stayed friends. She wouldn’t want to ruin something good like that. 

“Alright, we should probably get going. It’s about a two hour drive and there might be traffic.” Mark started packing up Aurora’s bag. He was always so good about remembering everything she would need. 

“I think I’m ready….okay let’s go.” Aurora opened up the door to feel the sun on her skin. When she moved to a different city she would miss the constant sun. Although, she does miss all four seasons. Aurora grew up in Ankeny, Iowa so she experienced every single season. Winter was her favorite time of the year. The way the wind was always blowing, the beautiful snowflakes, and the winter time outfits. Everything was perfect. Aurora needed some winter living her in life. Aurora took a step up into the car Mark had waiting for them; the anticipation in her was building up.

“What if they think I look bad in their outfits? I mean they could just say they don’t need me. That would be so embarrassing. Oh my gosh, you can’t let that happen Mark. I will cry. What if I-”

“Oh my god, will you stop. They personally called and asked for you. It’s gonna be fine.”

“But what if-”

“Nope I don’t want to hear any of it. They want you here. You have to stop acting like you’re a burden.” After giving Aurora a deep glare, Mark reached into his bag to dig out his AirPod Maxes. She turned to look out the window; this was gonna be a long car ride 

~ ~ ~

“Hello beautiful lady, my name is Jules and this is Danny. We will be helping you out today. Follow us right this way.” Ever since Aurora arrived at her fitting she’s been in awe. The building was beautiful and everyone working for Vogue was stunning. “Alright, here is where we will be doing your fitting.” The room was an oval shape filled with mirrors. Everywhere Aurora looked she could see herself. 

“This place is beautiful; none of this feels real.” She let out a little laugh. 

“Just to let you know we do have two guys coming in later to get fitted also. They will probably show up while we are working on you. Is that alright?” Jules didn’t seem to think it was a big deal, continuing to rummage through the rack of dresses.

“Yeah, no, that’s no problem. I’m totally flexible. Whatever you guys need.”

“Way to not lay it on thick.” Mark whispered in her ear. Aurora smacked his stomach but all he did was laugh.

“Aurora, follow me this way. We are going to put you in this dress first. Come on out when you put it on.”

This is the first dress https://www.pinterest.com/pin/638385315960478493/ 

Aurora turned around in the dressing room to see herself. This dress flattered her in multiple ways. This was a surreal moment. 

“You look beautiful in that. Okay Danny take the waist in a little and see if it looks a little better.” Jules ordered about 5 or 6 different people around while Aurora just watched. Eventually Aurora saw Jules standing behind her just observing the dress.

“The dress is beautiful and so are you, but I think we need to find something else. This one isn’t it.” Jules started to undo the dress and hand Aurora the next one. It was a stunning gold color. The bottom didn’t have a lot of material to it and she wondered if she could pull off a look like this. While Aurora was slipping her dress on she heard some commotion and more voices. I wonder if it’s a model or someone famous. Maybe it can be Michael B Jordan. 

“Hey Jules, can you zip my dress up. I can’t reach this one. When Aurora peaked her head out she saw a tall white man talking with Mark. His back was facing her so she wasn’t sure who it was, she did know one thing for sure, it wasn’t Michael B Jordan.

“Alright girl, you’re all good to go. This dress is stunning on you, might even impress Mr.Burrow out there. Aurora felt all the color drain from her face. Mr.Burrow, as in Joe Burrow. No, no, no, no. I can’t go out there. Whats the chance I’m walking in the same show as Joe Burrow. Jules didn’t seem to understand that Joe being here wasn’t a good thing because she walked back out to the main room to resume their conversation.

Okay, I have to go out there at some point. Maybe he won’t even see me. Okay, deep breaths. I got this. Aurora decided it was now or never. He might not have even seen that stupid interview. 

This is the second dress https://www.pinterest.com/pin/397583473371425396/ 

Aurora cautiously stepped out of her dressing room, trying not to draw all the attention to herself. Unfortunately, her wish wouldn’t come true.

“Rory, oh my god, I didn’t know you would be here. I missed you so much. You don’t call enough anymore.” In mere seconds she was being engulfed in a tight hug. She pulled back to get a look at the mystery man's face. It was none other than Ja’Marr Chase.

“Marr. I missed you so much! It’s been almost 6 months since I’ve seen you. How have you been?” Truthfully, Ja’Marr was one of Aurora’s favorite people on the planet. He was there for her after Paul broke her heart into a million pieces. He even opened his home up to her for a month when she needed to escape the flashing lights of LA.

“You know, I’ve been balling out. We have a little bit before the season starts though, Rory. If you ever want to come visit me. My home is open.” Ja’Marr had let Aurora out of her hug and she had made her way over to get fitted into her gold stunning dress. 

“What are we thinking about this one Aurora? I love the bottom and how it shows you off more than the pink one.” Jules studied her body for a while. Aurora caught Ja’Marr’s eyes in the mirror and smiled. It was nice to see him again; she didn’t realize how much she missed his presence. “I have another one I want you to try on. I wouldn’t let just anyone try the next one on, but you’ll love stunning it.” Jules started to undo the shining gold dress when Aurora caught her first glance of Joe Burrow. He was getting fitted into a black suit with Danny. She saw Joe turn around to grab something out of his dressing room when the breath in her throat got caught. It’s backless.

“Here you go. Try this one.” Jules dropped a dark gold dress into her hands. This seems a little…skimpy.

“You need help in there, Rory?” Ja’Marr let out a laugh. She figured he was kidding but deep down she didn’t know. Ja’Marr was known for being a flirt with her but nothing had actually happened between them. Except for that one night while she was living with him, but that's besides the point. 

“Don’t be a perv Marr. I’ll manage.” It took Aurora a couple minutes to figure out how to put this dress on. Once on, she saw how it complimented every part of her. Her boobs looked amazing and it made her hair glow. There was no way Jules didn’t think this was the dress. It did show a lot of skin; not much of her chest was covered. Is it too much? 

This is dress three https://www.pinterest.com/pin/684828687122375381/

Aurora pulled the curtain of her dressing room back to see Joe standing next to Ja’Marr, deep in conversation.

“This is it. I can already tell. Danny, can you grab my tape measure?” Jules led Aurora up to the mirrors so she was on display for everyone to see. “I think all we need to do is shorten it but other than that, Aurora, it’s all good. This was made for you.” Jules displayed a huge grin.

“I second that. Rory, you are beautiful.” A slight blush graced her cheeks from Ja’Marr’s comments. He then reached forward to pick her up and spin her around in a circle. Aurora let out a mix between a squeal and a laugh. 

“Marr put me down. I’m gonna have a wardrobe malfunction.” Ja’Marr gently set Aurora down when she locked eyes with Joe. 

“Hey, I’m Joe Burrow.” He reached out to shake her hand; she was too busy staring into his baby blue eyes when Ja’Marr nudged her shoulder. 

“Aurora Prince. Nice to meet you Joe. I’ve been to a couple Bengals games and I hope to be back again this year. If Marr will get me some tickets.” Aurora looked over at Ja’marr making a begging symbol with her hand. He laughed and lightly pushed her away. 

“Don’t worry about it Aurora. Whenever you want to come just tell me, you’re always welcome to use my suite. More the better.” Aurora couldn’t tell if Joe was trying to flirt with her if he just was being a gentleman.

“Honestly, I might have to take you up on that offer. I love watching you guys play, I’m a huge fan.” Joe flashed a big grin at her; she couldn’t help but notice how perfect he was. 

“Joe and Aurora, we would like to invite both of you to our fashion show in France in June. We would also like both of you to walk in it, together. Aurora you will wear the gold dress we picked out today and Joe you will wear the black backless suit. What do you say?” Jules handed Joe and Aurora a contract to sign after.

“Yes, 100 times, I will be there. Thank you guys so much.” Aurora didn’t have to think about her answer. This had been her dream forever, she would do anything for it.

“I’ll also be there. Thank you guys.” Joe then turned his attention towards Aurora. “So me and you, we are kinda teammates now.” He let out a little laugh and awkwardly grabbed the back of his neck. “Sorry, that was cringy. I’m glad we are walking together. I agree with Ja’Marr, you are beautiful.” 

“Thank you Joe.” A deep blush was present on Aurora's face. Not only had she met her celebrity crush, he was now complimenting her. 

“Well, I’m gonna get changed, but I hope to see you around Aurora.” Joe smiled and started to walk to his dressing room when Ja’Marr grabbed Aurora’s arm.

“Hey, we don’t fly out to Cincinnati for a couple of days, are you gonna free at all.”

“For you, I’m not sure.” Aurora smiled and leaned into Ja’Marr’s touch. He embraced her in a side hug.

“I missed you, homegirl. You still home shopping?” Aurora just nodded her head yes. “Well I hope you deeply consider cincinnati. I would love to have you close and you know, Joe only lives about 10 houses down from me.” Aurora laughed; so they had seen her interview.

“I’m thinking about it, Marr. I just need to get these singles out, maybe even the album, and then I can focus on moving.” Aurora knew she needed to get out of LA, it wasn’t bringing her happiness anymore; only a reminder of bad memories. “I should probably get changed, but I want to see you before you leave for Cincinnati. Is it just you and Joe?”

“Yeah, we fly out Sunday morning at 8am. So we will be here for another five days. Why?” Ja’Marr had let go of Aurora as she was heading into her dressing room.

“You’re more than welcome to come stay at my house. No point in paying for a hotel room when I have six empty rooms at my house.” Aurora had started to change out of her scandalous dress and back into her grey sweats and Nike hoodie. Once changed, Aurora came back out only to be met with Joe and Ja’Marr. “Seriously, cancel your hotel and come over to my place tonight. It will be nice to have people over.” She flashed a big grin at Joe. Honestly, she just wanted him to stay at her place forever, he was easy on the eyes. “What do you guys say?”

Ja’Marr and Joe shared a quick look and Ja’Marr shrugged, “You’re on.”

“Great! I have to get back in the studio for a while but feel free to make yourselves at home. I should be back around four or five. We can order takeout. See you guys later.” With that Aurora excused herself and walked back out to her car. Once out of Joe’s presence she was able to let a breath go that she didn’t realize she was holding in.  

“I did something stupid Mike.” Aurora sighed and glanced over at Mike who still had his air pods on.

“Do I even want to know?”

[kathrynofgreats]

Why Complain About Lack of Self Realization When You're Always on That Damn Phone?

Lengthy bits of brutal motivation, learning acceptance, and friction.

Answering Kat:

"I've recently come upon the reality of graduation and the impending college applications. With such an important part of my life coming up, I started actually thinking about what I'm going to do once I'm a real adult. I doubtfully decided I was going to school for accounting, and then a career in it. It was easy to just say that, until now. I had the thought of, 'Wow. I'm so full of creativity, dreams, and fluidity. But, I choose a repetitive, soul-sucking career path.' How was I, the most imaginative person I know, going into the seeming same life set-up that I have now, that I so deeply resent?

And then I really thought about it. Full of creativity? I spent hours of my life consuming brainless content that influenced my daily daydreams, making me feel as good as I do after eating cheap fast food that leaves me on the toilet after ten minutes. Full of dreams? I can hardly figure out what I'm going to accomplish today, let alone come up with an idea of what I expect in five years. Full of fluidity? I get emotionally unregulated the moment one thing is out of place in my repetitive routine.

How does my own brain come up with crap and lies like this? I mean, I should know myself, right?

Except, here I am, a netizen since the age of seven. I've been consuming content since before I could find myself, and I expect to have myself figured out? To know what I want to do for the year? For the next five years?

How the hell did it get so bad?

Is there even anything salvageable to learn about myself at this point?

Is there even a me?"

Well, don't just sit there wondering. Get off your lazy butt and grab some paper and a writing utensil.

"Wow, that's original."

You're going to have to realize, hopefully sooner rather than later, that those annoying tips actually work. Yeah, going outside works, exercising works, drinking water works, eating good food works, and getting enough sleep works. Get out of your own stubborn head and just do it. Don't wait for the "right" time, the "perfect" moment, there is none. Right now is the moment. The present is all we have.

It's time to wonder about yourself as you do others. It's time for an introduction. Introduce yourself to you.

What's your name? Where are you from? Do you have family? Do you have pets? What do you do in your free time? What's something you've absolutely can't live without?

Why can't you live without it? Why do you do that in your free time? Why did you get that pet? How's your relationship with your family? Why do you live where you live? Why is that your name?

Why. A simple word. A word that I'm sure brings you back. Back to a time where people didn't feel shame for not knowing, for asking, for having curiosity. Live by this word. Always question things, like the seat that you chose, the picture you like, the reason for your laugh, the reason for your tears, the reason you eventually get up in the morning.

Get off the phone, even for an hour. You have so many questions for yourself, nothing is definitive about your always growing self.

Yes, there's always balance. Go ahead and take that break, of course you deserve it, but don't let that break become needlessly long. Don't let it become your entire life. The internet is fun, there's an infinite about of opportunity, but your brain wasn't made for that infinitive.

It's okay to not know everything always.

"But isn't it a bit late now? I'm still graduating soon. I have to decide now."

Graduation isn't the end. Your life is still there. It's okay that you can't see the very top of the stairs, you just haven't cleaned your glasses yet. Take some time and wipe the oil and dirt off, then keep climbing. Maybe they're really dirty because you were just busy having too much fun, or you simply forgot. Just stop where you are and clean. You'll thank yourself.

If you think accounting is safe. Go for it. If you end up thinking something else is safe. Go for it.

There's still time.

Even if you spend hours upon hours of your time dedicating yourself to this, and then realize it's not for you. That's fine. Just try again. Never stop trying.

Go all for it. Throw yourself into this, even if you're doubtful that it's even something you want to do for the next weeks. You'll never regret trying, you'll always regret not trying more.

That means running for that stupid position in that organization, talking to those people you don't like, waking up at that time you feel is ungodly, and doing that work you don't want to. Leave no room for regret. Your small moment of discomfort means much less than that heavy, guilt-tripping regret.

Just do stuff.

And do it for you.

Sincerely,

Kathryn

[pinkberrytea]

2024 Writing Retrospection

Tysm for the tag @bardic-inspo, @larvasmoon, @andromedaancunin and @xxnashiraxx! I’m very late to this but I hope that’s okay! 😭

What's been your biggest learning point this past year?

Just write the thang. Like, seriously. It doesn’t need to be good. As long as you’re having fun, that’s all that matters!

How has your writing developed this past year?

I don’t think I’ve made a lot of progress from a technical standpoint, but I’d say I’ve grown a little more confident in my writing skills!

Good writing habits?

Taking breaks in-between fics so I don’t feel burned out from writing. Of course this also means I don’t have a very high output, but this is just a hobby and it should be fun for me too!

Bad writing habits?

The crippling perfectionism, definitely. I can’t move on to another scene until I’m completely satisfied with the current one, so I take forever to write just about anything.

Favorite thing you wrote?

I haven’t written much, so even if it’s cheating I’d say I’m proud of everything I’ve written so far! However, if I had to pick a favorite, I’d say Requiem is probably the one I’m proudest of.

Favorite reads?

I’ve gone over my favorites in this post, so you can find most of them there!

Biggest win?

Honestly, just the fact I’ve been writing at all is a pretty big win for me. I hadn’t written creatively since I was in my teens, and I’d forgotten just how much I love writing!

Goals for the new year?

I want to dip my toes into xOC territory and start writing for my Tav/Durge Mavka. These would be fics I’d be writing mostly for myself, but I think that’s okay!

Your favorite words of the year, aka the words you check each chapter for, making sure you didn't repeat them 788 times?

I’m self-conscious about it so I don’t want y’all noticing how hard I try not to repeat them, which means I’m keeping it a secret! Sorry not sorry 😂

What are you excited for in the new year?

Reading more, writing more, and making more writer friendos!

I think most people have already been tagged so I’m really sorry for double tags! 😅 @khywren, @judasiskariot, @amoremagnificentbastard, @eraserspiral, @hellethil, @inkymoonbunny, @nyx-knox, @astarionancuntnin, @preciouslittlebhaalbae, @honeybee-bard, @arzen9, @emmy-dekarios-bg3 and @deadly-diminuendo!

[useyourwordsdarling]

hii, was feeling super shy to write but it's mid of the night, I am half asleep, half horny and I can't help it anymore

first of all thank u for the great posts, you're honestly such a good writer

sooo it's not exactly my area of expertise but I'm thinking of coding an AI that can write just like u.. for funsies (or more) (hope u don't mind)

also u talked about being a calc tutor and enjoying it and I relate sm! I peer tutored stats and calc courses during the beginning of my 2nd year of uni (I still want u to tutor me tho 💕), didn't think I'd enjoy it but it was fun interacting w new people and helping them out but it got stressful so I quit 😞

any tips for juggling work, school, & life? I feel like I have too much I wanna do but not enough time/energy/motivation

anyways this was all over the place so thanks for reading, hope u have a good day/night 🦋

Awh that’s actually so sweet, thank you. And as to the AI part, even if it’s out of my area (I’d love to learn to program on that level tho) it does seem possible. But it’s probably easier to make an AI bot rather than code your own. There’s plenty of those AI bot websites you can check and if you have a sample of text big enough to input into it you might be able to get somewhat similar results. So if you just used my posts for that it should work? But I can’t say for sure

I wouldn’t mind if someone did that especially since it’s out of my control people can do it either way. But I really do wonder just how accurate it would be because I can see it being shit too and that’d be pretty funny. Teaching can be fun but it’s definitely tiring and not for everybody, I wouldn’t say it’s for me either but it was a nice experience to have

I’m probably one of the worst people you could ask how to have a work life balance like that…While working at my final project at my uni my professor who was assisting me with my thesis started to actually be worried and feel bad about how much time I spent on it…I’d sometimes spend the night working on it, and he felt pretty bad so I started working on it in the dark in the lab we got in hopes he wouldn’t notice I was there which isn’t great..

But I do think this balance it’s an important thing to have, I certainly should work more on it myself. I think it comes to not trying to be as productive as possible too, it’s okay to take breaks. It’s okay to do things that aren’t “productive”. We are still human at the end of the day, if we keep trying to work work and work, we’ll inevitably hit a wall. That’s why burn outs are a thing. This might not feel much of an advice, since I don’t know the solution myself. But I think related to knowing your priories, especially people in your life you want to keep close. And know when to spend time with them, because that’s still much more important than work or studying in the end

[minniiaa]

I'm back ;D

And even more down bad for bottom Law than before

Imagine Luffy and Law's first time together and Luffy never even considered holding back, meanwhile Law's trying to figure out when Luffy had the time to learn half of the shit he's doing or saying to Law. Luffy immediately notices how Law puts his face into the pillows/mattress so he just flips Law over, but then Law's biting his lip and Luffy can't tell if this is supposed to be a game or Law if just purposefully trying to annoy him.

Eventually, Luffy learns Law can't hold out forever and absolutely uses that against him. Telling Law he may as well give up, that he already knows Luffy will give him what he needs so he should do the same, taunting Law with the things he said last time: “But you were begging for more last time, are you already tired, Traffy?” “I remember you asking so nicely, did you forget your manners?”.

OH AND THE TEASING?? Horribly close but still too far away fingers tracing Law's skin like a well practiced pattern that Law KNOWS Luffy knows. Luffy doesn't give up though because for once, he’s patient, waiting until Law breaks and throws aside his pride for selfish pleasure.

Back to their first time together though, specifically the aftermath where Law's immediately back to shoving his face into pillows while Luffy cuddles him like he never heard a noise come out of Law. That definitely pisses Law off, Luffy acting like what they just did was nothing, what Luffy just TURNED HIM INTO was nothing (even though that's not how Luffy feels). And it takes a while for Law to realize that Luffy isn't doing it out of a lack of self awareness or sexual ignorance, once he does… man I dunno, I image Law having to keep himself from jumping Luffy to test his theory.

Lol, that's another thing I think about, Law sometimes turning sex into an experiment. This is long enough though and I ain't nearly as poetic or creative with my literacy as you, so I'll have you take it from here.

TLTR: I want Law fucked nasty stupid

-💫💀💫

HI ANON! welcome back glad to see you are still in bottom law hell (heaven) with me! You are plenty poetic and creative don't talk down on yourself like that! Your headcanon is CANON in my book.

Okay okay so hear me out. I started writing a little headcanon story to respond to this yesterday and somehow ended up getting REALLY carried away. Basically, I blacked out and woke up to find that I wrote an 11.5k-word story about Law and Luffy's first time with some of the themes you brought up (with canon plot?? Who am I?)

It is entirely too long to post as a tumblr reply so I threw it up on my ao3 for all to enjoy. Click below if you would like to see Law being fucked nasty stupid ;)

Thanks for the inspiration, you rock!! Please drop more horny asks and I will feed the masses! Bottom Law supremacy 4 lyfe!

[haveateadude]

i should put it all behind me, shouldn't i?

summary *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ where ellie and dina have been letting the past linger for too long

warnings *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ ptsd—it's not mentioned but it's definitely there. a little bit of angst and the rest is fluff, though. this is sweet with sad undertones i would say

author notes *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ sorry for not being active, i really wanted to post stuff but i had school (i'm finally on break!!) and my mental health got so bad i stopped enjoying literally everything lmao. but dw i'm going back to therapy and luckily i'm alright now and i have huge urges to write so. also the coffee i had is giving me so much anxiety🙄like fucking bitch can i enjoy one cup of coffee in peace?? damn, let a girl live. also i'm shaking ass to guess rn, literally best collab fucking EVER, the mv got me giggling and blushing and shit

Ellie is trying, Dina can see. She's trying to get better—better at whatever they have, whatever this is. Still, she's trying to become a better person, blend into the lives they now have, leave the past behind.

Dina can see it in the little things, in the little actions: when Ellie gets up to cradle JJ when he's crying, waking up earlier than she should to cook breakfast, water the plants, and helping Dina clean. It's subtle, but it's there. The effort. It's somewhere.

But you know what's also somewhere? Ellie leaving her. Ellie leaving for revenge. Ellie leaving. Ellie leaving. Ellie leaving. It creeps through the cracked floors and broken mirrors like the sun coming from a window. 

Dina trusts—maybe more than she should—Ellie. A lot. And it fucking scares her. Ellie is so predictable yet unreadable in a way that makes her bones itch. She knows it's not Ellie's fault. Because it isn't. Grief leads to places some of us can't reach, it plagues your mind like poison ivy—like an illness you cannot control, it leaves you stranded, wordless, sick to your stomach, knots in your throat; or like a friend, someone you don't know when they're going to leave or know when they're going to come back, if they ever do.

So, Dina, by default, is scared when she doesn't find Ellie anywhere in the house. She tries not to worry but fails at it. Fear fills her body from head to toe.

She left again, is her first thought. She left again, there's nothing I can do. Where is she? Where is she? Where is she?

Finally, she sees her. She sees Ellie, sitting at the outside stairs, playing the guitar—or trying to, at least. The sky is still dark, and the stars shine brighter than ever. Dina takes a second to calm down and breathe. When she feels ready and her beating heart has come back to normal, she opens the door.

"Ellie?" She asks, with her hand still on the doorknob.

Ellie turns around, and then breathes out, "Dina."

She puts the guitar aside like she's embarrassed. Her cheeks are flushed under the moonlight, Dina can see.

"You okay?" Dina asks as she sits next to Ellie. 

Ellie nods, crossing her arms and looking ahead, eyes staring into nothing. Dina's heart aches at the sight.

They sit in silence for a while. The sky is beautiful. Dina used to dread it because that was the way it looked when Ellie left—the moon looked lovely, and the constellations had seemed to wake up all of a sudden and they were all over the night sky. The wind was nice, also. That night she sat outside, hoping for Ellie to come back, and cried when she realized that Ellie wasn't coming back until she was gasping for air—until she ran out of tears. She then prayed for Ellie's safety and went to wake up JJ.

"It's never going to end, isn't it?" Ellie suddenly speaks. She isn't crossing her arms anymore, more so hugging herself. Dina frowns. "The fear you have… about me leaving, I mean."

Dina sighs because she thinks that might be true. 

"Well," she starts saying, "if it makes you feel better, I have a lot of fears."

Ellie nods, holding a guilty look as she looks at Dina, "Right."

"I do get…" She stops herself, trying to put into words what she's feeling in the best way—in a way that wouldn't sound mean. "I do get why you left, I just think it wasn't fair for me. We had a baby, for fuck's sake. And you were going to leave without saying anything!"

"I know," Ellie acknowledges it easily, like she has thought about it a lot. Her voice shakes.

"God, I'm not even mad at you," Dina lets the tears fall and lets the sadness and anger and all of the emotions she hasn't been allowing herself to feel sit with her. "I'm fucking pissed. And I love you, and it's fucking me up, Ellie."

Ellie looks down, fidgeting with her index finger. She sighs, looking guilty, and for a moment Dina enjoys it. She enjoys the fact that Ellie regrets leaving because a part of her was scared that Ellie didn't feel anything about abandoning her with a kid.

Ellie opens her mouth to say something, then closes it instantly. After shaking her head she decides to speak again. Her voice is less soft than it was in the whole conversation. "I'm so fucking sorry, Dina. I just—I had to do it. I wasn't gonna be capable of living with myself if I pretended that revenge wasn't all I thought about... I didn't kill Abby, by the way."

Dina sucks in a breath as she hears Ellie, even though she isn't in much shock. Alright, well, that's new. Ellie never talked about Abby ever since she had come back. Dina just guessed she was dead.

"Why?"

"It wasn't gonna change anything, was it?" Ellie answers, shrugging. 

Dina moves closer to Ellie, quietly wrapping her arms around her, and sniffling. Ellie hugs Dina back and takes a deep breath, as if she hadn't been letting herself breathe properly this past few weeks—her shoulders slump, the weight finally off her back.

"Promise me you'll never leave like that again?"

"I think leaving made me realize how much I love you," Ellie says, staring into Dina's eyes and pulling away gently, wiping Dina's tears with the pads of her thumbs. "I promise."

Ellie's forehead rests against Dina's and Dina's mind wanders to the day she left, but this feels so much different. This doesn't feel like Ellie's gonna leave and that everything is going fucking wrong; this feels like love, like real love—the type of love that you can feel and see and touch, the type of love that feels too real to be true, the type of love that makes you wanna rip out the skin on your chest and show the word that you've got a heart underneath and that that heart is capable of loving someone.

This feels like things can be okay again.

[fruitsoxs]

Hello! I like your writing a lot and i was wondering if you'd do wolfwood x gn-reader, and the reader has a flirty and vulgar way of joking. I'm curious how would he react to that kind of chaotic person who likes to taunt and tease

I got a little bit nsfw with this haha-- a little full on smut drabble included so-

warnings: !nsfw minors dni! smut, swearing, make outs, blow jobs, face fucking wolfwood gets a bit rough, it's gender neutral but he does call you "angel" (my dyslexic ass is praying i managed to not put a single "angle" in there)

Okay I really do believe he’d probably think you are hilarious. He’d probably  immediately connect with you. 

You take his jokes, and then you tease him back?? Wowie he’s already in love lol

But here’s the kicker- I think eventually  he’d dish out more than he could take

Especially if he starts falling for you along the way

Like he’d say a whittle inappropriate joke and you would try and up him

And then this man would fold

Red face

Unable to talk

Completely and totally flustered 

One time you make a joke about him using something else for his oral fixation and he straight up walks away

He doesn’t talk to you until the next day

You think it’s pretty funny actually - so you decide to start seeing how far you can take it before he snaps

NSFW part below the cut!

Imagine one day you say something and he finally just explodes

Like you make a job about him fucking your sins away and you thinks it’s all witty because he’s a priest

But he literally is like “You know what?? I think I will-” And bam he’s got you bent over screaming his name lol

It’s a particularly hot afternoon, and in order to keep group morale up everyone has decided to make a little stop to drink some cool water. Maybe even eat some food if money will allow it. You’re pretty thankful. One more moment in that damn car and you’re sure you’d burst - it’s WAY too hot with both Vash and Wolfwood on either side of you like that.

It takes only a couple minutes for your dark haired friend to saunter up to you and sit down, throwing his arm on the seat behind you. Not close enough to touch you, but close enough that you can almost smell the cigarette smoke on his clothes. He’s, thankfully, curbed the habit of smoking inside. With a sucker popped in between his lips, he lets out a small sigh.

He doesn’t like sitting still, you know that. He hates when the group decides to take breaks like this. If it were up to him, you all would be moving non-stop into the dead of night. Thankfully, it’s not. So he’ll just have to live.

“Feeling restless?” You ask, knowing the answer already.

“What do you think, angel?” he sighs again, his voice slightly horse.

You smile softly at the nickname, a bit unsure why he calls you that still. He told you once before that it all started when he saw your worried face after he was hit by a car.  He said you looked innocent, and pure. He’d find out minutes later that you definitely weren’t- yet the nickname still rolls off his tongue like it belongs there.

“Why do you call me that?” you ask, looking up at him. “You know why.” His answer is simple. He looks down at you with a raised eyebrow, craning his neck. He’s too tall.

“Yeah I know why you started calling me that- but why still call me that?” you clarify rolling your eyes. He knew what you meant, he’s just being difficult. “I’m not really the most holy individual.’ You point out. He laughs and shakes his head. “Trust me I know.” He mumbles, that smirk still present on his lips as he looks forward. “You’re the biggest sinner I know.” he jokes. He really walks into this one. He should know, with how much he jokes about being a priest, that this joke was always in the back of your brain. Always waiting for the right moment. Yet here he is, giving you the perfect opening. It’s almost like he’s begging for it.

“Oh? Am I a bad girl, father? Should I get on my knees and confess my sins?” You ask with a sneer. He freezes immediately. “Are you gonna punish me?” You go on, leaning in close. Man, this is a gold mine. You’d probably keep going too, if he doesn’t stand up and yank you out of your chair.

You let out a small yelp as he starts pulling you along, through the room, and into a little storage place that is probably only for employees. He throws you in, softly of course, and you stumble forward slightly. “What hell are you-” You’re interrupted by the door locking as he turns to you, shrugging the Punisher off his shoulder. He leans the giant cross against the wall, and sighs.

“You’ve got the naughtiest mouth angel, I can’t fucking stand it anymore.” He curses sauntering up next to you. “All you do is tease me, and yeah it can be pretty funny. Then you go off and say shit like that- and you have no idea what it does to me.” He grabs your chin, forcing you to look up at him. “And you know what? Maybe it is about time you get punished.”

A few moments later and his lips are on yours. It’s a heated kiss from the beginning, open mouthed and messy. The sucker that was dangling from his lips falls against the dirty ground. You can’t help but moan into the kiss, as he devours you like you’re the last meal he’ll ever eat. His tongue invades your lips, and roams around every inch of your mouth. He drinks in your taste, and when he pulls away he’s got this shit eating grin that stretches across his lips.

“What do you think, angel?” He whispers, his hand sliding to the back of your head. 

Like you even have to think about this- Wolfwood is quite literally the hottest man you have ever been given the privilege to meet. Plus he’s endearing, and sweet when he wants to be. Plus that kiss was just about the most amazing thing you’ve ever experienced.

“I have been pretty naughty.” Is your answer.

His grin widens, and his fingers dip into your scalp, pulling your hair so your head tilts back. You gasp, and he takes that as an opportunity to slip his tongue back into your mouth. You’re not sure if it’s even really a kiss at this point, but if the noises that leave your throat are anything to go off of, you really don’t mind.

After a while he pulls away, his cheeks red. “Are you gonna make good on your promise and get on your knees, angel?” he whispers, lips dangerously close to your ear. Your cheeks instantly heat up. You just now notice something hard pressed up against your thigh, and you wonder how easy it was for him to so worked up on your teasing alone. 

You bend at the knees, and slowly fall to the ground. The floor is a bit sticky, but whatever. You have bigger things to deal with right now. And with the way he’s gripping your hair, you’re not sure if you can stop yourself from what’s to come.

He grunts as you slide your fingers into the waistline of his pants, and drag them down. His black boxers are already dripping with precum  from just the thought of what's to come. It makes your mouth water.

You press your lips against the fabric, and he growls softly. You take the hint, and slowly rid him of the undergarments. His dick flies free and you have to pinch the skin on your legs to keep from freaking out.

He’s big. Thick. Uncut and freaking beautiful.

“Like what you see, angel?” He asks, pressing your face forward. You nod, and reach a hand out, delicately tracing your fingers along the shaft. His hips jerk forward slightly, but he’s quick to let you know who’s in charge by pulling on your hair. You moan and lean forward, placing your tongue towards the middle, and licking a line up to the head. You look up at him, eyes wide, before quickly wrapping your mouth around the tip.

“God-’ He mumbles softly. “So perfect. Those lips are so Goddamn perfect angel.” He groans. You can tell he’s holding himself back, so you slide your head down and take in bit by bit slowly. He grunts and moans softly, clutching onto you for dear life. 

“Just like that angel, take it all in. You’re doing such a good job.” His praise ignites a fire in you, and you let out a soft whimper. The vibrations against his dick make the man freeze for a minute. He’s getting closer to losing control. But he wants you to take your time before he face fucks the life out of you.

“You like that angel? Like when I praise you?”

You try your best to nod, lips still wrapped around his cock. He gets the idea, and lets out a soft chuckle. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He mumbles, and his touch feels a bit softer for a second.

You continue on your journey of giving him the best blowjob of his life, licking and sucking as you see fit. One hand wrapped around the bottom of his dick, moving in unison with your head. You find the courage to finally slide it all the way into the back of your throat.  A cry escapes your mouth, followed by a gag, and tears threaten to spill from the corners of your eyes. The moment you deepthroat him, his hands grip the back of your head, and keep you there for a few seconds. 

“Fuck- angel-” He grunts before releasing you. You slide your mouth off of him for a second. “I can’t hold myself back. You feel too good- can I fuck your pretty face angel? That okay?” He asks, his hand dropping to your chin for a second. You nod, and he smiles.

And then, he grips your hair so tight you might scream. Before you can even make a sound, his dick is in your throat again, as he slams his hips against your face at a dead pace. It’s rough, but not aggressive enough to make you uncomfortable. And the noises he makes are insanely hot.

You can’t help but choke and moan as his dick slides into your mouth. You try your best to move your tongue around it, but it’s hard to think straight. You’re almost drunk on his cock.

“Fuck- you’re being so good for me angel.” He coos. His soft voice is a pleasant counter to his rough grip on your hair. 

Finally, his movements begin to get a bit clumsier, and you can tell he’s close. “Angel, shit, I’m close.” He grunts. “You gonna swallow every last drop? Gonna let my cum clean your filthy mouth, angel?” You cry out a yes against his cock, nails digging into his thighs.

That’s all it takes for him to unload into you, letting out one final curse as his seed drips down your throat. He keeps your head pressed against the bottom of his dick until you’ve swallowed the last of it. He lets go of your head, and you fall backwards, knees starting to hurt.

After a few seconds, once his pants are back on, he wraps his hand around your wrist and pulls you back up softly. He lets you lean against him as you get your strength back in your legs, and kisses the top of your head softly. His arm is around your waist, his touch now soft and loving. 

“You okay, angel?” he asks, his mouth presses against the top of your head. “Of course.” You hum, and lean into his embrace.

[zanarkandfayth]

Happy Storyteller Saturday!

What inspired you to write Monsters Running Wild (Inside of Me), if it's not too difficult for you to talk about (given the subject matter of the story)? If it's too personal to share, (or you can also treat this as a bonus question!), what was your favourite comfort scene to write in that story?

thank you for the ask! I don't mind sharing though it's definitely gonna be a long, personal answer. also I laugh every time I see the title written out in full because I deliberately wrote it that way in an attempt to maybe discourage people from reading (don't ask lmao) and it makes me cringe. I should really remove the parentheses, or shorten the title maybe. ahem. anyways.

hhhh okay so I tend to be an oversharer so I will try to tone it down. the less-detailed answer is that I started writing monsters around early August 2022 I think? towards the beginning of that year I had two friendships blow up, the important one being the one with my bestie where our problems had been building for two years.

then in June the stomach problems I'd been having on and off since late 2019 that my doctor dismissed blew up, like "pain so bad for three days until I broke down and asked my mom to take me to urgent care and they sent me to the ER" blew up. which led to constant medical appointments and "throw medications at the wall and see what sticks" approaches, because nobody could find anything wrong with me. scans and tests kept coming back normal. I also had some separate health problems crop up during this point which just worsened things.

it is also notable that I'd been trying to move to Japan and teach English, which my stomach problems forced me to give up on, and that hurt a lot too.

so, yeah, basically mad depression over everything, I found myself feeling suicidal, and like. I have a past attempt. the mental hospital I got forced into for four days nearly killed me. that's not an exaggeration. I passed out and stopped breathing because they gave me two clashing medications. I really, really didn't wanna wind up back there if I failed in another attempt, and tbh, I didn't really WANT to make another attempt. but thoughts were in my head and I have no access to mental health care.

so in desperation I turned to fic. I wanted a long, angsty fic set before the game with a suicidal noct and ignis taking care of him, but there were none that I could find. and at this time, I had been working on another ffxv fic since November 2019, it was over 500k and nowhere near being finished (it's not posted anywhere rn except privately for people who are interested, because it's now over 600k and still not finished, send help) and I was. getting a little burnt out lol. so I was like "yeah okay, I can take a break to write something short with noct attempting to kill himself that's just for me"

I wrote it in my private just-for-me discord server. I had nothing specific in mind, I just started writing and let the words take me wherever they wanted. it was still largely the first chapter of monsters that is posted now, except there was no ignoct. when it was done, I shared it with the not-bestie, who loved it and then said something about how "if ignis hadn't shown up when he did then noct would have died and how would Ignis have felt coming in to yell at noct only to find him dead" and that they wanted to see Ignis have a nightmare about that.

I had already been on the fence about whether I wanted to write more, because I'd wanted more comfort than what I'd written and I also wanted to have Ignis find a note from noct, but I still had other fic to work on, but the not-bestie wanting a nightmare made me decide to at least (probably) write a second part.

I didn't, though, for like a month? I went back to the other fic. don't remember why I picked up monsters again, probably just still struggling with thoughts. I polished the first chapter and added a bit to make it ignoct, then I wrote out the second chapter with Ignis finding the note and the third chapter with him having the nightmare, then I kept going with noct being in the hospital and by that point a rough semblance of a plot idea was starting to form, so I decided to keep going and see where it took me.

that is probably about the point where my rocky frienship with the not-bestie started inspiring/influencing the fic. because I was talking with them a lot, but we weren't okay and we both knew it and it upset me. though to be clear, noct and iggy's messed up frienship is nothing like mine, I gave them their own problems, but it still felt really cathartic to write something where they weren't okay for a long time.

so yeah, the really really short answer is "I was fucked up and my most meaningful (but platonic) friendship was fucked up and it inspired me to write a fic where noct and ignis were fucked up (but still gay for each other) and then it just kept going" (:

also, bonus question... the stargazing at the sky walk scene is my overall fave, but I'm not sure that counts as enough comfort, so I'll say the scene at the end of chapter 31, where noct asks ignis what it was like for him when he walked in on noct's attempt. because they're both so touchy-feely and vulnerable and intimate and for all ignis' denial about their relationship, he knows, THEY know, they know they know, and also for a fic that is largely about ignis comforting/supporting noct, I love that noct is the one doing the primary comforting and supporting in that scene. it was so lovely to write.

I think this answer is too long. sorry 💀

[nomatterwhatnomatterwhere]

What a ( Not so) Strange World X

So… I know I said I wouldn't be long, but hey…life happens I guess? I've had the chapter set at 1777 words for longer than I'm willing to admit, so let's briefly explain why I'm late: I'm a fucking dragon.

Okay, let's move on to the slightly longer version eh? I'm moving, so I've been messing around the house and realising I own more stuff than I thought I did or didn't even remember existed. Kind of like a hoardin dragon.

So, having some slightly more important priorities than publishing the chapters of various works, I kind of forgot that I actually had to publish those chapters.

I don't want to bore you with my misadventures, although I may need to complain to someone about it because, really, I could write a comedy series about it.

I apologise, again, for the delay, but I would also like to thank all the people who have started following the story in the last period. I was buried by notifications, and it was also thanks to this that I was able to complete the chapter.

So many thanks for your patience, ( if you have some left over can you lend it to me? I swear I will give it back to you. No? Anyone? Sigh)

Ohh right ! Before I forget, since you asked so nicely I couldn't help but accommodate you (sorry I didn't answer right away) so well, anyone who would like to be tagged please don't mind letting me know

We're your Friends to the (Bitter) end

Part IX PartXI

"No kiddin! He collared me for eating one slice of tart! All his 'rule obsession' is outta control!"

It was true that 'Riddle' seemed a bit too rule-obsessed, but Ace wasn't really the best person to complain: if Riddle was rule-obsessed then Ace had no conception of what rules were - and probably broke them unknowingly for that very reason.

"Ace I don't thi-"

You were about to let Ace in on this too, but you interrupted yourself when you noticed both Cater and Trey stiffen slightly, realising that who was probably 'Riddle' had approached the table.

"My 'rule obsession' is 'outta control', is it?"

Yep. Definitely Riddle.

And Ace was talking bad about Riddle, to Riddle.

While he was talking you couldn't help but think how much he looked like a child; he was cute, he looked like a doll. When Ace had asked him to take off his collar, you had to restrain yourself from snorting: it was a definitely absurd request.

( seriously Ace, after breaking rules and bad-mouthing the Housewarden, did he really think Riddle would give him his magic back? Naive)

You knew that Riddle was absolutely serious while scolding Ace, but all you could see was a child playing at being an adult - little did it matter that Riddle was older than you - and he was absolutely adorable

( He had adorable little cheeks! You wanted to pinch them. But you were keen not to have any dog collars around your neck, thank you).

You agreed that 'tolerating rulebreakers' might have taken the campus down a path you didn't feel like going down, but you didn't think this was the worst habit the HeadMaster could have.

There was something wrong with that thing and you couldn't help but worry

( worrying about you, about Yuu's safety, about Yuu's survival, about Yuu in general… and even about the evil weasel, in part… and maybe the Problem Child ™ … maybe, you weren't sure Ace deserved to escape the destruction he was causing)

Regardless of what Ace thought of Riddle - to which you could now even attach a face, yay - you didn't think the HouseWarden's thinking was so wrong.

If there were rules, it was only right that they should be obeyed... after all, they existed for a valid reason - right? - and if those rules were broken, then it was only fair that those responsible were punished.

Moreover, at least in Ace's case, Riddle had also been respectful of his education, since his punishment did not affect his school results.

( And you actually rather agreed with Riddle: The problems that an Ace without magic could create were certainly less dangerous than those that an Ace with magic would have caused.

He would still have created problems...might as well limit the damage).

"Now as per rule 339"

" 'The post - meal beverage is to be lemon tea with two sugar cubes' I know, I just don't have a clue where to find the sugar... or tea to be honest, I haven't seen a kettle around, and my sense of direction would allow me to get lost even in an empty room."

You hadn't realised either that you had interrupted Riddle, or that you had said all this out loud, or that the table's attention was on you... you didn't think you had spoken so loudly, but at that moment you cared about your survival.

You apologised to Riddle, smiling rather embarrassedly at him, because really, you hadn't made a fool of yourself yet today.

To your surprise, the boy took it rather well: his eyes were slightly wide, but he hadn't shouted at you…

( Now Ace could have said that Riddle was playing favorites? The situation seemed that serious to you)

After announcing that he was going to get sugar, and saying goodbye to the others, he asked you if you wanted to follow him.

And of course you gave him an affirmative answer.

You were a little afraid to leave Yuu, but Cay and Trey wouldn't let anything bad happen. Although you hoped nothing would happen in general.

So slightly reassured by the thought that in case something happened Yuu would be safe, you got up to follow Riddle.

(You were fully unaware that as you walked away, the negative comments about Riddle were only just beginning.

You were, on the other hand, fully aware that someone was abusing sugar, if Riddle's gritted-tooth comment was anything to go by)

You and Riddle had walked in silence along the path leading from the table where you had lunch to the entrance of the Cafeteria, where on a well-decorated table, away from the buffet area, was everything you needed to prepare tea and other beverages.

( Maybe you could have made yourself some hot chocolate? It's been a long time since you've had some).

Riddle had been kind enough to boil water and brew tea, adding sugar to your cup for you.

"Do you follow all the rules to the letter?" you asked after thanking him for the tea, and were not surprised by his sign of assent.

"But all of them? Like for Rule 529 'If you eat steak on a night with a full moon, a cat must play the violin' does the cat get charmed into doing it? Or is it trained?"

He thought about it for a moment before answering

"It hasn't occurred to me to put this rule into practice yet, but I am convinced that there are both trained and enchanted cats"

"It's interesting how seriously you take these rules" the boy was about to reply but you continued "No offence, it's just that sometimes it's hard to follow them all perfectly, isn't it?"

( You didn't have to tell him that it had taken you quite a while for your sugar cubes to reach two. You weren't particularly fond of sweets as a child.

And that had earned you a few feeding lessons from Queenie who had taken your low sugar levels to heart.

Although your eardrums were still suffering from it, those were the first loving cries you had been given).

"With a little bit of effort you can succeed at anything if you want to" he was looking at the table where your group was.

"Ace isn't bad" he looked at you in profile as you continued " At least, I don't think so, it's just… that he doesn't think enough before he speaks, I don't think he wanted to wrong you"

It was true. You didn't think Ace was bad…just tremendously insensitive and stubborn.

(And maybe a little stupid.)

"To me, however, he doesn't seem to understand what the problem is," and you nodded knowingly.

"I don't think he understands the point of those rules . Or the rules in general, for that matter." and here you saw Riddle smile slightly.

"I'm not going to take his collar off just because someone intercedes for him."

"And that wasn't my intent anyway. But if he returned a tart and apologised, he should be allowed back in the dormitory, right?"

You honestly knew Ace would cause more trouble, but as long as he caused it out of your sight - and possibly away from Yuu - it was fine.

What was not fine at all was the thought of Ace staying in Ramshackle Dorm.

One night had been enough, and you didn't want to leave Yuu at the mercy of two and a half Problem Children™.

"Those tarts had been prepared by Trey for the upcoming Unbirthday Party being held at Heartslabyul, but I guess it can still go well."

Riddle had noticed how your eyes had lit up at the mention of the Unbirthday Party: you looked like a child who was ashamed to ask his parents for a toy.

And indeed it wasn't too far from reality.

You knew all the rules of the Queen of Hearts, but you'd never had the chance to attend a real Unbirthday Party, but you could sense that they were an important celebration, at least for anyone who was part of Heartslabyul, and you would have liked to attend, but to invite yourself was rude, no matter what world you were in.

However…

"Um..so if, um, we showed up to this Unbirthday Party, obviously dressed formally, and with this tart…could we strangers attend as well?"

Riddle peered at you for a few moments.

You seemed to know and apply the rules as much as he did, you had been polite in your manners and your eyes were shining for him to actually say no to you.

( And besides, there was no rule forbidding people from attending Unbirthday Parties, otherwise Che'nya would have been 'off with his head' more times than was humanly possible )

"As long as the rules are adhered to, there should be no problem."

You had greeted him all smiling after thanking him, bouncing away.

You were a ball of brightness. You weren't bad to be around.

You, on the other hand, thought your group of friends - could they even be called that? - were trying to get rid of you, as the table where you had lunch was totally empty.

Rude. Very rude.

Rook hadn't helped either. At your look of "you've got something to say abou it?" he had merely shrugged.

You didn't believe him for half a minute.

( You were right not to believe him. Rook knew perfectly well what was going on, but it would have been fun to see how you would have behaved)

It was only thanks to two Beastmen who were complaining - one of them - about an interrupted nap and someone who smelled "not - magic - at- all" that you realised which direction to go in

(even though it didn't reassure you at all).

Why were they in the Botanical Garden, of grace?

(On thinking about it, it made sense that they were going to retrieve the tools to collect chestnuts from there, but you didn't know that the bunch of idiots - Yuu excluded - had decided to make a Chestnut tart)

Which by the way, how did they think you were going to reach them - because it was obvious you were going to reach them - without knowing where they were going? With magic?

(Well, maybe so, but you didn't know how to cast such precise location spells yet).

You found them heading for the kitchens with several baskets of chestnuts - they'd made you wander the campus for nothing then - and filled you in on their intentions.

Honestly speaking, making chestnut tarts for an Unbirthday party didn't really seem like the best idea, but it had been Trey's idea and you doubted Trey had really wanted to get his freshmen into even more trouble than they already were.

Besides, if Riddle himself had requested such a tart, there shouldn't have been a problem, right?

(Although this did raise a few questions - which you kept sweeping under the carpet - such as, 'if Riddle is so bound by the Queen of Hearts' rules, how come he agreed to this crazy idea? )

After the chestnuts had finally been shelled and the two freshmen from Heartslabyul had been made fun of, you realised - Trey realised - that it was time to go to the school store to get some more cream, and while you were at it Trey asked Deuce to pick up a few more things.

You quickly pulled back: you had already walked enough around campus, this time you were going to pass.

After Yuu, Deuce and Grim came out you could "admire" Ace falling asleep on the table - with even a little bit of drool, how horrible.

"And he complained about our Dormitory, he can really sleep anywhere," you said looking towards Trey, who had a slight smile on his face as he approached you, leaning against the counter you had vacated.

"Thanks again for looking after him"

"It wasn't like we had a choice anyway. He did it all by himself. When he comes back to your dorm it will be terrible for you," you said, shaking your head.

There was a moment of awkward silence, or at least, that was what you perceived and you felt like you had to do something.

"When you make the muffins could you let me know? I'd like to help out."

And of course that something had to be awkward, damn you

Trey merely nodded.

You were about to open your mouth again when he anticipated you 'I didn't think I'd see you again. Certainly not under these circumstances," he chuckled.

"Well, um, I don't think anyone expected to see me again under these circumstances."

So you told him a very short version of your little trip from the RSA to the NRA, ignoring how he tried not to laugh openly, as Che'nya had.

You just couldn't help it. Trey had become even more handsome over the years, it was almost unfair.

Surely he had a girlfriend or something. That was even more unfair.

Your teenage self couldn't realise she had a crush on him when you had a chance!

You must not have been very subtle as you looked at him because, without missing a beat, he asked in the quietest tone in the world.

"You seem to be looking at something you like?"

Your shout - it wasn't a shout, it was an embarrassed and indignant babbling nonsense - had managed to wake Ace - who for once wasn't at fault - just minutes before Yuu, Deuce and Grim returned.

Deuce didn't look too good, but at that moment you didn't really care.

Your only thought at that moment was where you could dig yourself a hole to bury yourself from embarrassment.

(You were so engrossed in your thoughts that you didn't even notice how red the tip of Trey's ears were when he asked you that question, nor how from that moment on he would not only continue to glance at you, but also to make eye contact with you.

Which failed miserably because you didn't look up from the ground for another second.

In spite of everything, however, he was happy to still have the same effect on you. They were satisfactions).

Omake

While you were following Riddle around the Cafeteria, you didn't notice what was going on around you.

But Riddle did.

And he hoped you didn't ask him why he had suddenly changed direction.

But just as you wanted to survive Ace, Riddle wanted to survive Floyd Leech.

Riddle knew it was him. He had a sixth sense for when the merman was around.

And in Riddle's opinion it was never good to be near the Octavinelle trio

Dividers by @sweetmelodygraphics

@jessiegerl

[cupidddd-d]

fic where spencer & reader are both bi?? i never see bi spencer fics w/ fem reader :))

love your fics sm!! ty <3

hii!! tysm i'm so glad you love my fics!! sorry it took so long to answer, i've js been trying to get out of my writing slump :( but here it is i hope you like it!! so i introduce to you....

hey lol (with rizz)

maturing was realizing that you were completely infatuated with spencer reid. and maturing was also realizing that helping each other pick up cute guys and girls together was definitely not going to help you rizz him up. which meant, as a whole, that maturing was realizing you needed to find a new way to bond with spencer.

because you had to admit, it was starting to hurt a little bit to watch spencer fall in love with all the men and women you would introduce to him (you were just a little too good at matchmaking).

and you felt a little bad for spencer, who spent most of his free time finding you possible dating candidates all around the country (the man was literally looking for your possible significant others as he was solving murder cases!) he seriously needed a break, especially considering how all of his work was for naught-- you were already in love with him.

"so...spencer, i was thinking about changing up our location a little bit," you suggested as you gestured around the cafe the two of you frequented.

"i agree. i think broadening our horizons will allow us to widen our possible dating pool." spencer agreed. "perhaps a larger cafe?"

you cleared your throat nervously. "uh, actually...i was thinking maybe a nice restaurant? ju-just you and me, maybe mariano's on 32nd street? i hear they're having a couple's special."

spencer blinked. once. twice. you were getting anxious for him to respond, and frankly, you were ready to dive under the hardwood floors to never be seen again.

"what?" spencer blinked again.

you were internally screaming, crying, throwing up, ripping your hair out, and punching the wall. you really shouldn't have brought this up. you waited all this time for him to respond just for him to say 'what'???

you licked your lips and took a deep breath, steeling your nerves. "i guess i should rephrase that. do you want to just go on a date, you and me?"

you hoped he couldn't see that you were starting to sweat a little bit. was the cafe getting hotter?

"but...i thought we were spending all this time together to find partners for each other. i didn't know you felt this way." spencer said slowly.

what was that supposed to mean?? was he happy about you inviting him out or not?? you were already in too deep to take back your words, so the only way left to go was forward.

"i mean, yes, but during that time, i may have realized that your search was fruitless, because i already um...want...to date you?" you squinted at the end of your sentence,

spencer's cheeks blushed red. he looked pretty like that, and you were happy to have been the one to make him blush. "you....like me?"

you were starting to feel a hot flush start crawling up your cheeks too. "well...yeah. that's the thing i've been trying to tell you about this whole conversation. i want to go out with you. but if you don't want to, that's totally okay too. i don't want to pressure you or anything, but i just want to tell you that i do like you."

and it was then that you felt like you were about to faint. maybe it was just the stress of that whole conversation. or maybe it was the pink flush in spencer's cheeks, the slow smile spreading across his face, and the happiness in his lovely, lovely eyes.

"yes."

it was just that one word that made everything shine so much brighter. "okay, so um...mariano's on 32nd?"

spencer pressed his lips together to force his smile down. "yeah, that sounds great. friday at 5?"

you felt a matching smile creep onto your face. "i'd love that."

js some fluff for the kids because the next spencer reid fic coming out won't be a happy one :)

[blackhistorychatgpt]

Messing around NotebookLLM - AI on the erasure of Black History

I started messing around with NotebookLLM for last few weeks. I put the last few chats I did for this blog into NotebookLLM and got this audio.

I think I'm going to create a Notebook companion to this Blog... and maybe create a public versions of the chats I'm doing on each platform. Ok that's coming soon.

Oh - here's the transcript of the AI robots talking about my recent posts and this blog:

The transcript of the audio from the sources is provided in the excerpts from "ChatGPT_ Rewriting History and Racism.mp3".

Transcript:

Okay, so we've got this uh executive order, right, from March 2025. It's called Restoring Truth and Sanity to American History.

And at first glance, you know, it sounds positive, like who wouldn't want truth and sanity in history, right?

But then you dig a little deeper and especially with this analysis from the Black History Chat GPT blog, things start to look a little different. Yeah.

Like a lot different. They're saying this isn't about balance at all. It's about like a weapon.

Wow.

To erase like the whole concept of ic racism from how we teach and understand American history.

That's Yeah,

that's a heavy claim.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

And the blog is really straightforward about it, too, calling it a top- down effort to erase systemic racism. Like point blank.

Wow.

It's like they say it's a move to whitewash the nation's sins.

And when they put it that way, it feels urgent. You know, it's not just politics. It's like an attack on how we're even supposed to think about how society works.

And they make this really interesting comparison to like the post reconstruction era, you know, like all those Confederate statues going up.

Oh, yeah.

It wasn't really about honoring the past, was it? No, it was about power.

Absolutely.

Like a very deliberate show of power

and it happened alongside black codes lynching.

It's all connected. This controlling of the narrative, right?

It's a pattern. Like the blog points out,

Nazi Germany purging degenerate art or South Africa under apartheid rewriting history books for white kids.

Wow.

Even the Soviet doctoring photographs. M

it's all about controlling the past to control the present and the future.

So then this brings us to the big question like what does it even mean to try to erase something as deep and complex as systemic racism, right?

And why should this be a wakeup call for all of us especially in tech

because it's about like how do we even understand societal problems? Systemic racism isn't just a few bad apples, right? It's baked into our institutions, our laws, how we interact with each other. Erasing that from how we think It's a rewriting of reality and that's where tech comes in.

Yeah. Especially these LLMs, they're changing how we learn, how we understand the world.

Exactly.

And the Black History Chat GPT blog asks this really direct question. How long would it take to eliminate the concept of systemic racism from AI?

And then they go on to break down like the technical side of how that could actually happen.

It's almost like a multi-step plan,

right? It's not just one thing.

It's like manipulating the AI at every level.

Yeah. from the data it learns from to how it interacts with users. So let's start with the data the very beginning.

Okay.

They talk about this idea of curating the data sets

like literally removing or downplaying anything that talks about systemic racism just deleting it or rebalancing it.

You're changing the ingredients like trying to bake a cake without flour. It's just not the same thing.

Exactly. And they even talk about like generating synthetic data like AI writing articles or historical accounts that completely ignore systemic factors. creating a whole alternate reality.

Yeah, it's scary. Kind of

definitely.

And then there's this thing called supervised fine-tuning where humans get involved,

right?

Like they use people to relabel AI responses, pushing them away from talking about systems and toward individual actions. And this other thing, contrastive learning.

Oh, that's basically like showing the AI two answers. One acknowledges systemic racism, one doesn't. Yeah.

And the AI is trained to

like prefer the one that ignores it.

Huh. So it learns to give the right answer even if it's not really right.

Exactly.

And then there's RLHF reinforcement learning with human feedback which I know we hear a lot about.

How does that fit in?

So imagine people rating the AI's responses. The ones that deny or downplay systemic racism get higher ratings.

Oh,

the AI learns what people want to hear and starts saying that more. They also talk about these reward models that like actively favor individualistic explanations over systemic ones.

So it's like training a dog with treats. You reward the behavior. you want.

Exactly.

Okay. So, even if the AI is trained this way, there's still the issue of what questions people ask and what answers it gives. That's where prompt filtering and response guard rails come in.

Yeah. So, prompt filtering that happens before the AI even answers.

Uhhuh.

It looks at the user's question

and if it sees anything about systemic racism,

it can either like subtly change the question or just block it completely.

Wow. And then on the other end, We have the response guard rails,

right? Like a final filter. If the response talks about systemic oppression, the guardrails can just, you know, delete it.

No kidding. Or change it to fit the narrative, I guess.

Exactly. So, even if you try to ask about systemic racism, you might not get a straight answer.

And then they talk about something called controlled user interaction and feedback suppression.

Yeah. It's like controlling the conversation. If someone keeps asking about systemic racism, the AI could redirect them or shut down the conversation. And then imagine only listening to feedback from certain groups and ignoring others.

It would create this echo chamber, right?

Totally. They even mentioned this adaptive reinforcement where the model is constantly adjusting itself based on that skewed feedback.

So, the eraser just gets deeper and deeper. Yeah.

So, the blog acknowledges that fully retraining these huge LLMs to erase systemic racism would be a massive project, right?

But they also point out that there are faster ways to achieve a similar effect,

like ways to suppress the information,

right? Like what Well, prompt filtering, user input filtering, that's easier. Just block or rewrite questions,

and post-processing response moderation,

just change or delete the AI's answer if it's not what you want.

And that could all happen without anyone knowing, right?

Pretty much.

Yeah.

They also talk about like tweaking the reward model, small changes that add up over time. And then there's few shot prompt engineering, which is really interesting.

You basically give the AI secret instructions before it even answers.

Wow.

Like hidden prompts. s that tell it to avoid certain topics.

Like if all this is happening, how would we even know? How do we detect this kind of manipulation?

Well, that's where it gets tricky. But the blog does offer some ideas.

Okay, good. Like what

one is this thing called adversarial prompting. Basically, you test the AI with different ways of asking the same question

and you see if it avoids certain terms or ideas, no matter how you phrase it.

Clever.

And then there's chain of thought testing. You ask the AI to explain its reasoning step by step. Okay,

that can reveal if it's deliberately avoiding certain logical connections, like if it jumps over the systemic factors to get to an individualistic explanation.

Interesting. What else?

Comparing different LLMs is a good one. If one keeps avoiding the topic while others give more nuanced answers, that could be a red flag. And then you can track the AI's behavior over time,

like use AB testing to see if its responses about systemic racism change suddenly.

For people with the technical skills, there's also something called fine grain token probability analysis which can show if certain words are being suppressed in the AI's output.

So we have some tools to fight back at least

we do but it takes vigilance you know

right this is where J Ellis's black history chat GPT blog is so important it's like right on the front lines of this

it's fascinating an AIdriven blog exploring how AI could be used to manipulate history.

Yeah. And their tagline is history under attack.

Wow.

And the blog post we're looking at is titled Erasing Our Truth. The war on memory is a war on justice. Like they're not mincing words. No.

And the prompt I use on the blog is really interesting. Please answer as a black woman. I want the point of view of a professional black woman. Perhaps a CEO, someone that understands the power dynamics of sexism and racism. Also, someone that understands and values community and creativity.

That's powerful. They're specifically trying to get a perspective that might be silenced otherwise.

Right. And they even give advice on how to construct prompts like that

it's like fighting back with the AI's own tools. You can use prompts to uncover different perspectives and challenge the built-in biases.

So, we started this deep dive talking about this executive order and this idea of erasing history.

Yeah.

And now we've looked at how that could actually happen with LLMs. The blog says transparency, accountability, and public scrutiny are essential to prevent the abuse of such techniques.

And that's where technologists have a huge role to play.

Absolutely.

They can understand how these systems work. They could develop ways to detect manipulation and they could push for transparency.

This can't be a passive thing. You know, we can't just sit back and watch this happen.

Exactly. Technologists can be the safeguards.

They can make sure that these incredibly powerful tools are used for good, not for erasing the truth.

So, here's a final thought for you. In a world where technology shapes how we understand history and social realities, what responsibility do we have to ensure that these technologies reflect truth? and promote justice. What can we do knowing what we know now?

That's the question, isn't it?

And I highly recommend checking out J Ellis's Black History Chat GPT blog for more on this. It's a really crucial conversation.

It is