#okay i just googled its macdonald

[resident-gay-bitch]

🌚 Fem Fridays 🌚

Marylene: Marlene confesses her feelings for Mary and it goes better than expected (1.7k words)

Marlene can’t believe she’s doing this. 

She’s about to lose her mind over it, but it’s better than doing nothing, right? 

Sitting alone and sobbing about it isn’t going to get her anywhere. Taking action will.

Well, hopefully. 

If it all goes to shit she might just end up sobbing in a corner even more than usual, which would be mortifying. 

She can feel Sirius and James peaking around the corner behind her. They’re the two that convinced her to do this. Finally, It took months of them trying to pep her up, making bets on the quidditch pitch about it, and Marlene was quite dishonest about it. Far too much of a wimp. 

But, well, she believes her wimpiness is justified in all honesty. 

Mary Macdonald is the most terrifying person she’s ever met– and she means that as a complement. Really, she does. Her intimidating nature comes from her almost bloody ethereal beauty, and her mad fucking confidence. Not to mention she’s got ten times the brain that Marlene does. Who wouldn’t be terrified of that? 

Even Sirius was when they went out for a month in fifth year, apparently he’s never tried too hard to impress a girl as he did with Mary. And Marlene understands that viscerally. 

Mary’s talking with Roman, and she’s playing with the end of his tie, and he’s winking at her, and blah blah blah. The usual. All the blokes in Hogwarts flirt with Mary. And Marlene gets it, trust her, if she were a bloke she’d be outright flirting with Mary on the constant too. 

But she’s not a bloke, is she? And that's the bloody problem. 

But, well, last week Mary found out Marlene was queer. On complete accident of course. She just happened to overhear her talking with James and Sirius about it after practice, Marlene didn’t even realise she made her way down from the stands yet. 

She took it really well, surprisingly, and has even gone so far as to attempt to figure out Marlene's type. She thinks there's no fairness in Marlene going to the ball alone next week, she’s determined to find her a date. 

Which is the problem. 

Because Marlene doesn’t want a date to the ball. She wants Mary. 

Finally, Roman fucks off after what feels like a centry of lame flirting and suggestive eyebrow pumps, and Marlene takes her stake. She glances back at the boys over her shoulder, and they give her assuring nudges and wave her in Mary’s direction. 

And it’s now or never. 

Never. 

Never sounds great right now. 

Yep, this is too bloody terrifying. She’s choosing never–

“Marls!” Mary calls, “What are you doing lurking about over there? Were you waiting for me? Oh, sorry, love. Roman was just asking me to be his date to the ball again, I don’t know how many times I have to tell that boy I’ve already got a date.”

Marlene swallows. She knows Mary has a date, and she hates that fucking annoyingly fit bloke viscerally. 

“Marls?”

She spares a sideway glance at the boys again, and still, they give her forceful encouragement. 

She must have looked for a second too long, because Mary catches sight of them hiding, and in an attempt to not be seen, they trip over themselves and fall into the hall. Marlene rolls her eyes at them, complete gits. 

“What are you two creeps doing?”

“We’re not creeping!” Sirius defends. 

“Yeah, we’re just here to support Marlene!” James adds, and Marlene cuts them a deathly glare. 

“Support Marlene with what?” She asks, looking back at her. 

Marlene just groans, and Sirius whacks his best mate in the chest. 

“Oops… Sorry, Mckinnon!” James mutters nervously, the two of them scurrying back behind the wall again.

“What’s going on, Marlene?” Mary asks again, concern on her gorgeous face now.

Right, bloody well now then, isn’t it? Fucking hell, trust those two to muck it all up. 

“Marls? You’re worrying me.”

“Erm, I’ve got something to tell you.” She muttered, checking her surroundings. And sure enough, as they made sure, they’re alone. 

“Okay, well… what is it?” 

“I know this is fucking stupid for a whole lot of reasons, but I just need to ask, okay?”

“O… okay?” Mary says weerily. 

“Would you– Would you like to, erm…” She takes a deep breath, spitting it all out in one, ripping off the bloody bandaid, “Would-you-like-to-go-to-the-ball-with-me?”

“Sorry?” Mary asked, scrunching up her nose. 

“Would you like to go to the ball with me?” She asks again, so nervous she’s beginning to sweat, and maybe she might throw up. Yeah, she’s probably gonna throw up. 

Mary cocks her head, “Oh, honey, I’m going with Marvin, remember?” She smiled kindly, “I’m not sure if Lily’s said yes to James or not yet, I’m sure she’d be happy to go with you.” 

Marlene sighed, looking down at the ground as she ran a hand through her messy hair, “No, Mary, uhm… I don’t mean as friends.” 

“Hm, I’m not sure I follow?” Mary asked, and Marlene peaked up at her through her lashes, definitely on the verge of vomiting now, “Are you asking me… romantically?”

Marlene does not want to answer. She just wants to run away and hide forever. Maybe she’ll find a nice cave to hide in and join a pack of wolves, lost to the forest and all civilization forever. Yeah, that sounds nice, doesn’t it?

She flinches when a pebble bounces off the back of her head, and she turns around to see Sirius and James peaking out around the corner again, nodding their heads at her aggressively. 

By the time she looks back at Mary, the girl seems a little flustered, “Uh, yeah… Yeah, I mean romantically. And I know you’ve got a date already, so I know it's stupid for that reason alone, but I just needed to ask you.” She began to ramble, refusing to meet Mary's eye as she spat it all out, “I just need you to reject me, I think… I dunno. I’ve fancied you for a while, Mary– bloody years, at this point. I just… I think you’re fantastic. Smartest, brightest, kindest, most wonderful person I know, not to mention you’re probably the most gorgeous person I’ve ever laid my eyes on. And I just can’t keep it to myself anymore. I just needed to tell you, to get it off my chest. I’d like to try and move on, so we can keep being friends, because I value your part in my life more than anything else, Mary. I… I love you, and it’s the best thing in the world to love you, but it’s one sided and that’s killing me.” 

Mary blinked at her, lost for words by the looks of it. And Marlene is about four seconds away from vomiting all over Mary’s shoes. 

“I’m sorry.” She mutters, burying her hands in her trouser pockets before rocking on her heels, “I know it’s weird.” 

“It’s not weird.” Mary says flatly, and Marlene isn’t sure what to do with it. 

She can hear James and Sirius whispering behind her, but she’s choosing to ignore them completely. She thinks she’ll hex them later. 

“I’m wearing a purple dress.” Mary said eventually, catching Marlene completely off guard, “You already know that. But, I’d like it if we could match. You said you were thinking of wearing a suit? Perhaps you could wear a purple tie?” 

“Sorry?” Marlene muttered, her chin jutting forward in disbelief. 

“I know you don’t typically wear purple. But… for me?” Mary asked, looking at her through her gorgeous lashes as Marlene has seen her do a hundred times when flirting with boys. 

She can hear the boys behind her kicking up a fuss. 

Marlene takes in a sharp breath, taking a small step forward to whisper, “Are you saying yes?”

Mary nodded, “I am.”

Wondering for a moment, Marlene leans forward again, whispering even quieter, “Romantically?”

Mary leant in to whisper back, “Romantically.”

“I wasn’t aware you liked girls?” 

“Me either.” Mary whispered with a sly smile, “But over the past week the idea of you being with any girl that isn’t me has made me rather upset and angry. I fancy blokes, but I also fancy you.” 

“Oh… wh- ah… what about Marvin?” 

“Marvin can find another date.” Mary shrugged, “I was kind of hoping you’d ask anyway.” 

Marlene's heart is in her throat, “Is this a date then?” 

“Well, I figured you were asking me out on one, so yes. Is that okay with you?”

“Obviously that’s okay with me.” Marlene said, her voice rather tight as she can’t fucking believe a word shes hearing. Honestly, this might be a dream. 

“Okay, good then.” Mary sighed, standing up straight and holding the stack of textbooks in her arms out to dump in Marlenes, “Since we’re going out now, you get to carry my things.” 

Marlene gapes, catching the stack of books as well as the satchel Mary hands over to her, almost dropping everything in the process. 

“I have History of Magic now, and I’m already late, so we better go. Do you have a class to attend? Or would you like to sit in class with me?” 

“Uh, I’ll sit with you.” Marlene nodded, beginning to follow Mary down the hall. 

She glanced back over her shoulder at the boys who were jumping on each other in celebration, and Marlene grins, tossing them a wide grin and a thumbs up which has her stumbling with the books in hand. 

She’s always been jealous off all the boys who got to carry Mary’s things around for her. Honestly, she’s always thought she could be a much better boyfriend than all of them combined, and well, she’s finally getting her chance to prove it. 

Even with a tremendous armfull, she still opens the classroom door for Mary, pulls out her chair, and organises her desk in just the way she likes. 

And Mary holds her hand. 

She holds. her. hand. 

“You’re very strong, Marlene.” Mary whispers to her once they’re settled, “Those books are rather heavy.”

Marlene might just pass out, “Eh, it was nothing, really. You should see me work out, I can lift more than Sirius.” 

And Mary props her elbow on the table and begins to twist a perfect curl around her well manicured finger, bites her lip as she looks Marlene up and down, “I’d like to see that sometime.” 

 And Marlene does not care how obviously she’s blushing. She’s got the girl. 

Merlin's hairy ballsack, she’s got the girl. 

I really really love marylene so much they deserve more popularity in this fandom!

i've been meaning to write more and more of them, so please if you have any marylene headcannons or fic ideas please drop them in my asks box id be so happy to recieve them!!

[weirdstuff-blog]

Me and stephanie dancing up Christian

"ROB SIMS presents KellyMBentley.Com in 2008! "

Female 26 years old ATLANTA, Georgia United States

Last Login: 4/13/2008

I love models and everything to do with the glamour industry. I am seriously into photography. I love to dance and I am currently learning to sing. I am crazy in love with my American Pitt Bull Terrier "Layla" and I love spending time with her playing freesbee with her and my loving fiance Django. I love fast cars preferrably American Muscle. My favorite would be a Trans Am. Long live Cassondra

Music I love all types of music, but my favorite is Classic Rock including the Grateful Dead, Bob Dylan, Doors, Def Lepard, AC/DC, Primus, Nine Inch Nail all kinds of artists. I love dancing to hip-hop, but I really don’t have any favorites.

Movies I love chic flicks and cartoons. I’ve never really been a fan of horror flicks. My favs include Notebook, Ratatouille, Sweet Home Alabama, Youve Got Mail…you get where this is going.

Television I love reality shows. I was on the Coyote Ugly Reality Show but I hated it. My favorites shows include Pussycat dolls, ANTM, Ghost Hunters, Dirty Jobs, Rock of Love, Make me a Supermodel….well all of them except American Idol…hate that shit!!

Books I dont read anything but war books and Cosmopolitian magazine. Oh yea and the Bible of course. Heroes All of our American Military men and women especially those close to me….Andrew Goldman, Jason Edmondson, Chris Willis, and my sweet uncle Kurt. Love and appreciate you guys. If you have a friend or relative serving I send me their name and I will post it here to show my appreciation.

The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Details

Status: In a Relationship Here for: Networking, Friends Orientation: Straight Hometown: Alabama Body type: Slim / Slender Ethnicity: White / Caucasian Zodiac Sign: Libra Smoke / Drink: No / No Education: College graduate Occupation: Model

The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Schools Southern Union State Community College Wadley, AL Graduated: 2002 Student status: Alumni Degree: Associate’s Degree Major: Computer Science

2000 to 2002

The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Companies NOPI Motorsports Atlanta, Georgia US Nopi Chic Model

Construction Cuties Atlanta, Georgia US

M Bentley Productions Atlanta, Georgia US

The Kelly M. Bentley is Taking Over the F*cking World!

The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Latest Blog Entry [Subscribe to this Blog]

Rob Sims and Kelly Bentley 2008 (view more)

RIDE FOR LIFE…..Relay For Life Charity Event (view more)

Coyote Ugly Episode 5…Thank God its Over! (view more)

National Glamour Showcase Florida (view more)

Coyote Ugly Episode 4 (view more)

[View All Blog Entries]

The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Blurbs About me: Its hard to describe myself because I am constantly changing. So to start, above all else, I am a bad ass bartender. I bartend at OPERA Nightclub here in Atlanta, Geogia. Its the biggest and hottest club in Atlanta. I also bartend at the Irish Bred Carrollton where I can fulfill my bar dancing passion to AC/DC, Buckcherry (Crazy biotch!), and Def Lepard. I love serving up cocktails with a little sassy shake some come by either place and check me out!!

Second, I am a model and one of the hottest female entrepreneurs on this planet. In modeling, I specialize in glamour, fitness, and promotional modeling. I always have something going on somewhere. I’m partnering up with NOPI as a NOPI CHIC for 2008. I love doing charity work so keep updated on my events and help us out. As an entrepreneur, I own half of a calendar production company with JM Polsfuss that is responsible for the hottest calendar coming out in 2009 Construction Cuties. Watch for it!! I also just teamed up with get this…yes…The Rob Sims….which we will have my website launched by the end of Spring to help heat up the summer for you. Also watch for all the magazine covers, layouts, spreads, etc. coming soon…I told you guys I’ll be taking over the WORLD!! Lastly, I am a regular girl that had a dream and am still forcing it to come true come hell or high water. I’m from a small town, but I’m working hard to fulfill my big city dreams as well as those of other girls who want to be models with MODELICIOUS. So if you want to try modeling, don’t listen to people when they tell you that you cant do it, they said I couldn’t, and I look at me…so don’t listen, contact me and lets see what we can do. I DONT DO ANYTHING FOR FREE….so don’t ask. I have a small network of professional models I use and promote because they have become friends. Don’t ask for my contacts, because I work hard in promoting and networking myself so why should I just hand over my hard work to you. If you want my network, you pay for my network.

THINGS YOU WOULDN’T GUESS ABOUT ME: No one would ever guess that I used to be in the Army National Guard. I used to be on Active Reserve as the RA for SFC Robert Cornett. I got out in 2005. I also used to wiegh 170 lbs. I gained a huge amount of weight when I quit drinking and smoking. Yea a lot of you thought it would never happen. I quit cold turkey and the turkey went to my ass. I lost 50 lbs. on the Subway diet. I was recently on the Coyote Ugly Reality Show on CMT and hated every minute. I also have a degree in Political Science and Computer Science with a minor in Military Science. Just some cool quirks about me. TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF – The Survey Name: Kelly M Bentley Birthday: October 7th Birthplace: Anniston, Alabama Current Location: Atlanta, Georgia Eye Color: Green Hair Color: Blonde/Brunette..hell I don’t know Height: 5’5" if I’d stand up straight Right Handed or Left Handed: Right Your Heritage: Irish/German &..39;The Shoes You Wore Today:’ My beloved flip flops Your Weakness: Your Fears: airplanes, elevators, and scurrying vermon Your Perfect Pizza: cheese/pepperoni without any sauce Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Be at 8% Body Fat by the end of the year Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: I dont even know how to set that shit up… Thoughts First Waking Up: What in the hell are the Backyardigans? Your Best Physical Feature: My big ghetto booty Your Bedtime: When ever my mind decides to quit thinking Your Most Missed Memory: No clue..too much memory lost Pepsi or Coke: Caffeine free coke MacDonalds or Burger King: both are some nasty shit…I dont put it in my body! Single or Group Dates: Cant remember my last date… Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: I don’t drink any tea Chocolate or Vanilla: Just hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt Cappuccino or Coffee: Caffeine free Coffee Do you Smoke: hell no Do you Swear: I swear I cuss too much Do you Sing: Did you catch my show? Think I’ll stick to the shower. Do you Shower Daily: more than once Have you Been in Love: Only twice for sure Do you want to go to College: Been there done that Do you want to get Married: Umm….when I’m too old to know better Do you belive in yourself: more than anyother person besides Roy Do you get Motion Sickness: Do you think you are Attractive: No but others tend to disagree Are you a Health Freak: Absolutely Do you get along with your Parents: depends on the day of the week Do you like Thunderstorms: love them Do you play an Instrument: In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: don’t drink alcohol In the past month have you Smoked: I quit when I was 20 In the past month have you been on Drugs: hell no drugs are for weak people In the past month have you gone on a Date: I havent gone on a date in the past few years In the past month have you gone to a Mall: No..I hate the mall..I’m in need of another personal shopper In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: yea right…my trainer would shoot me In the past month have you eaten Sushi: I don’t eat fish In the past month have you been on Stage: too many times In the past month have you been Dumped: No In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: I wish In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No but someone stole two of my damned portfolios Ever been Drunk: Plastered on many occassions Ever been called a Tease: What girl hasnt Ever been Beaten up: No but I got launched off some steps one time Ever Shoplifted: no I only steal hearts How do you want to Die: at 200mph on the Autobahn What do you want to be when you Grow Up: I’m doing it but not grown up yet What country would you most like to Visit: Ireland In a Boy/Girl.. Favourite Eye Color: Any that don’t lie Favourite Hair Color: any that I can run my fingers through Short or Long Hair: either Height: all heights Weight: weight doesn’t matter Best Clothing Style: clothes dont make the man Number of Drugs I have taken: Don’t do drugs Number of CDs I own: not too many Number of Piercings: ears and belly button Number of Tattoos: 1 Number of things in my Past I Regret: only 1…if you know me you know what it is

CREATE YOUR OWN! – or – GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Myspace Layouts – Myspace Editor – Image Hosting

Who I’d like to meet: TO ALL MODELS AND PHOTOGRAPHERS: Now that I am partnered up with Robs Sims who is the most published photographer on the planet also owner of FitBeauties and FitModels International Magazines, photographer for Oxygen, MuscleMag, InStyle, American Curves, Maxim, FHM, Mens Health…okay I’m tired already. Too many to list. Google him for the rest…lol. Rob and I will be offering photoshoots to ambitious models with the guarantee to be published. Yes there is a catch. 1)like I said I don’t do anything for FREE 2) Neither does he 3) you have to be approved by me first. Sorry ladies…I have to be picky. Feel free to submit to me for shoots with Rob. I will be honest and give you feedback. WE ARE THE ONLY ONES THAT CAN GUARANTEE YOU PUBLICATION IN MAJOR MAGAZINES.

Posted by dcsmith2752002 on 2008-06-23 13:19:11

Tagged: , KELLY , M , BENTLEY , IN , ATLANTA , GA , NIGHT , LIFE , BASIC , BLACK , FORMAL-WEAR , AND , CASUAL , -WEAR , ATTIRES

The post Me and stephanie dancing up Christian appeared first on Good Info.

[wolfypuppypiles]

Big Ass Tag Game

Rules: Tag whoever you want!

I got tagged by @egg-with-a-butt thanks!!

I find glasses attractive: True as long as they actually suit their face (you gotta get the right style for you yo)

I find beanies attractive: True 

Last song you listened to: Formation - Beyonce

Last YouTube video you watched: It was this weta workshop thing mum was looking for

Favorite YouTubers: College Humor, Buzzfeed Unsolved, MBMBAM

Last thing you Googled: Hot Chocolate at Countdown (it’s a supermarket in NZ)

Private Island or Private Jet? - Jet cause it can take you to anywhere

Pancakes or Waffles? - Pancakes with cream bananas, syrup and bacon on top hmmm

Coffee or Tea? - Mocha

Water or Bubbly Water? - Bubbly waters a bitch but I dont like water either

Pineapple on pizza? - it was yes but now I’m allergic so sad no

Do you like foods from a country other than your own? -  hell yeaaah

Any crushes right now? - Only on celebs and characters

Name drop? - Idk what that means

Do you write? - ye 

If yes, what’s the title of the last thing you worked on? - The man who can’t be moved

If no, or even yes, what’s the last thing you’ve read? -  Back to Normal (more or less) By Kitikat (its good yo)

Favorite meal food: Sushi? or pizza or pasta idk

Favorite dessert food: cake 

Dream trip: probably Italy to see my family

Favorite restaurant: maccas orr Stefanos or that sushi place

Thing(s) you’re trying to master: singing, writing, drawing? exersise

Thing(s) you want but don’t have the money for: a trip around the world and tattoos also a dog

Favorite color:  purple especially sparkly

Low/High-key kink(s): true love, holding hands, cuddles, owning dogs, also to be real I have a majjjorr praise kink im not kidding

Favorite joke: Okay so theres a bunch of nuns painting a room and they dont want to get their habbits dirty but they have no other clothes. but they’re all friends so they decide to lock the door and paint naked. its going ell until there is a knock on the door “who is it?” “its the blind man!” the nuns go “oh he’s blind. let him in.” so they open the door and he lifts up a box. “where do you want me to hang these blinds? by the way, nice tits.”

Word(s) you hate: menanism, and any slur just ugh makes me cinge

Word(s) you love: poop (dont @ me its not the meaning its just the way it sounds) 

Sounds you hate: retching, skin rubbing against skin, fabrics rubbing together, scratching skin, clothes rubbing agaonst carpet ughhh

Sounds you love: peoples laughs especially my sisters and Aliisons girl ur laugh is so cute, men groaning or gasping in pain hehe

Favorite vine(s): gram gram why are all the cookies on the flor? I fell can you help me? HAHA also KEVIN NO, we going to macdonalds if i dont do my work? and sooo many others

Favorite TV Shows: MacGyver, SPN, rick and morty, b99, shadowhinters, the good place

I’m tagging: anyone that wants to do it 

[rogue-rook]

many highlights from The Eleventh Hour from a first-time TAZ listener

featuring bits from Lunar Interlude III: Rest and Relaxation

oh god is this lunar interlude a goddamn ASMR experience

are carey fangbattle and killian dating?

i’m almost 100% sure griffin said “fisticups” instead of “fisticuffs”

griffin: “okay, you spend the next few weeks learning from carey” oh, okay griffin, i see, we’re taking the LAZINESS route on this campaign now. maybe there were some good snorlaxes to catch on that route or something, but now we’ll never know!

a semi-incomplete list of words that griffin has made up during TAZ: “cruft, geezers creezers, and scrumbled” except scrumbled was stolen from justin

my first thought when i realized taako and sweet ango were going to be spending this interlude together was “oh no taako is about to just bully the goddamn earwax out of sweet ango”

I JUST REALIZED ANGUS MACDONALD IS 10 GODDAMN YEARS OLD. where are his parents??? he had a grandpa who died, right? who’s taking care of him? did lucretia kidnap him to illegally “employ” THIS LITERAL CHILD at the bureau of balance??

WAIT IS LUCRETIA HIS MOM?

taako just called sweet ango “agnes”

THE UMBRA STAFF JUST TOOK CONTROL AND BLASTED “LUP” INTO THE WALL AND IM LIKE LUP!!!! ITS LUP!!!

the Hole-Thrower is a goddamn genius object but i wish it wasn’t just for “non-magical, non-living” things bc i wanna see taako throw a hole into an enemy

magnus: “i want a black mastiff” griffin: “but you know, theres’s no dogs on the moon!”

the grubby grifters went over budget at the fantasy costco and griffin's voice like animorph-style changed into garfield the deals asshole‘s voice and im like. uncomfortable

travis: “i’m now a level 8 fighter and a level 2 rogue” “which i think makes sense for magnus bc you’re a protecting guardian but you’re also kinda a nasty boy on that battlefield”

the grubby grifters are the only bureau employees not to be super choked up about boyland’s death and im like “hey maybe you assholes shouldn’t have tried to desecrate his crystalized corpse”

WIVES AND HUSBANDS AND STUFF

if the voidfish is either nice or neutral, then it singing to magus is adorable

if the voidfish turns out to be evil, then it singing to magnus is super super ominous

the director: “avi had to miss boyland’s rites of remembrance” merle: “i didn’t know that was an option"

names suggested for the woven gulch before griffin decided that: dry bones, gucci gulch, the taint, the devil’s taint, ravine, gulch, the blasted lands, the not-blasted lands, the flavor-blasted lands, the grandd canyon (not a typo), the taco bell grande canyon, the arid waste, tattoine

all the grubby grifters: “SUMMER LOOKS! SUMMER LOOKS! SUMMER LOOKS!”

taako: "thanks garfield, can we leave now?" "I WISH YOU WOULD"

sweet ango has to launch the grubby grifters down to the woven gulch and he’s so terrified and im like ango, they should be more nervous, they’re yOUR BULLIES!!

magnus: “we don’t have to mean EVERY time!” okay, magnus, that’s rich coming from you, seeing as you’ve been the worst to angus

travis: “you as the DM didn't remind your players” griffin: “oh i didn't know this was a baby game for CHILDREN”

magnus: “what it we just didn't attack them this round and just saw what they did?” merle: “WHO ARE YOU??”

griffin: “it's kind of rustic” magnus: “FINALLY, MY RUSTIC FOLK HERO THING WILL WORK AND PEOPLE WILL LIKE ME!!!”

“by their sacrifice, our home is made safe” WHAT THE FUCK!

griffin: “where the robe it, it has been stained or oxidized, turning it a bright crimson red" "oh.....like...the bad guys...” YALL THAT’S SO. THAT’S SOME SHIT. THAT’S SOME MYSTERIOUS SHIT

taako: “okay, cool, I’m not into labels either” yooooooo 

i googled the map griffin made for the town of Refuge and hot damn, that’s a well made map

magnus: “i rolled a 10 [on a perception check]” griffin: “you're in a prison cell with bars on it” merle: “i rolled a 1″ griffin: “you are in a cube shaped place”

griffin: “and then all three of you, have died” WHAT IN THE FUCK????? WHAT THE HELL??? WHAT????

THE SET UP OF THIS ARC IS BOMB AS HELLLLLLLLLLLLL

the fact that paloma sounds like bjork tells me that griffin is just straight up running out of different accents

[merle continues to sing to the tune of book of mormon] travis: “clinton. you just got clocked by a shovel”

justin: “i’m gonna delete the video i was making about how to do an infinite diamond glitch in the adventure zone”

griffin: “there are many rocks piled up” justin: “mini rocks are actually called pebbles, griffin”

griffy set up this quarry locker room tripwire puzzle exactly like a fucking game of hangman! the most deadly game of hangman ever

griffin: “lemme just say that diamonds are the currency of this town. you wouldn’t go to the US treasury to get dollars fresh from the printing press” justin: “what, you want me to get a part time job??” griffin: “i wouldn't hate it”

griffin: “i just agreed to what dad said without really processing what it was that he said, and what he said was the name "bjork" as bork” clint: “you gotta watch that shit, griffin” griffin: “i was almost an accomplice to that heinous act”

the grubby grifters just unquestioningly trust paloma the bjork witch without any sort of investigation checks or ANYTHING and im like what if she’s evil, my dudes. what if she’s leading you astray

griffin: “the human spell library, clint mcelroy”

griffin: “if you can just instantly bring back any dead person to life, it may reduce the narrative stakes of the adventure zone podcast A BIT!” AH SHIT SON!!

magnus: “im gonna....cut his arm off” griffin: “OH MY GOD!! YOU LOVE THIS SHIT! YOU’RE A PERVERT! YOU'RE EXPOSING EVERYONE TO YOUR FETISH!!”

istus is cool and awesome and she knits but all this shit she’s talking about it is just context-less gibberish

“you’re going to be amazing” AT WHAT, MOTHERFUCKER? YOU’RE COOL AND YOU HANDED OUT BOMB ASS GIFTS BUT WHAT THE SHIT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??

hot damn yall. this time chalice is trying to PERSUADE the grubby grifters and my evil bullshit meter thinks this is SUPER HELLA SUSPENSEFUL

AW SHIT! BACKSTORIES!

damn this chalice is so tempting. i can’t even imagine

these backstories are heartbreaking. im blown away by the way the mcelroys have crafted this part of the story, and so so sad. especially about magnus

“its not what julia would want” travis stop making me feel these things

magnus: “noelle ended up with a new shiny robot body!” taako: “an unkillable robot! I'd call that an upgrade!”

oh no the chalice is forcing them to watch the destruction of phandolin, what an asshole

magnus: “i’m gonna throw a whole bunch of robot arms into him” griffin: “okay, so you just have a hefty bag full of roboid arms??” 

merle: “we owe a big one to penumbra" magnus: "paloma"

magnus: “we gotta jump” roswell: “this is a shitty shitty shit shit plan, i hope you know that” i love roswell’s instinctive reaction when presented with a dumb idea, which is to respond with pure immediate honesty and tell the grubby grifters that their ideas are dumb as hell

this worm fight is bizarre as fuck, what the fuck are they even DOING???

aw the weird worm just wanted to escape the bubble so it could get back to its babies! that’s...almost adorable. if it wasn’t a giant fucking worm

oh good. the red robe is back. cool cool cool cool cool

magnus: “you’re proud of us? what? you’re a red robe, you’re one of the bad guys?” the red robe: “who told you that?”

GRIFFIN JUST CALLED IT A LICH!!!!!

the red robe said “lup, they don’t trust me. lup i can’t do it anymore” and “the next time we meet, i’ll need you to trust me completely. the hunger is almost here, and all this could be lost” YALLL IM CONFUSED ASSSS FFFUCKKKK BUT IM SO EXCITED ABOUT WHOEVER THE FUCK THIS PARSELTONGUE MOTHERFUCKER IS!!

well taako got a prophecy saying he would one day get power from “the man wreathed in flames” so like im pretty goddamn sure the parseltongue motherfucker is barry bluejeans. there’s a lich around, barry got blasted to hell by gundren rockseeker, and the red robe wants the grubby grifters to trust him, so like 2+2+2 probably equals barry fucking bluejeans here

the fact that they got to watch over the town of refuge for 7 years was soooooo sweet!!!!

hot damn the red robe’s been protecting magnus this whole time???

travis asking istus why there’s long gaps in their memories like hey trav griffy doesn’t want you or me or anyone else to know yet, but good try!

magnus: “if you get bored, there's this half-moon thing in the sky, you can come hang out with us” taako: “yeah most birds can fly to the MOON!”

kravitz!!! anytime kravitz shows back up is a GOOD GODDAMN TIME!! because i love kravitz

the red robe in the statue in Refuse HAS MAGNUS’S FACE!!!

i have literal goddamn chills. that is so good

this was a very odd meandering arc and i didn’t know what the hell was going on half the time but it was super super super enjoyable and some of the plot shit got me HYPED AS HELL

[deanmiles13]

BLUE CHEER (JUST A LITTLE BIT)

My time working with Blue Cheer.

“Bridging the Digital Divide”                                                                            That’s what I’ve heard it called and much like Evel Knievel, I love to try and bridge that divide. If we have the technology to “Reach out and touch someone” like AT&T said, then we surely must honor the convenience and follow through with furthering a connection, if it calls for it. 

Old friends, fellow collectors of Rock and/or Wrestling Icons.They’re all out there to be tapped. Its happened for me....many times! 

Here is one such instance where I got off my butt and let my fingers do the walking.

It all began with that show we all know and love, Antiques Roadshow.

The segment had a poster collector, so that had my ear as I continued to read in bed. I love paper and posters and books. Always have since I was a kid and started “collecting” KISS posters. Then my mother threw these all out one winter and I’ve never been the same. I hold onto everything. NEATLY…

But I digress….

A fellow was going through some posters he had on this particular segment and he had some San Francisco Psychedelic posters. That was interesting, BUT the one that caught my ear/eye was a Blue Cheer poster from Tastee-Freez. I was blown away. 

THE POSTER THAT STARTED THE WHOLE GYPSY BALL ROLLING....

First of all I LOVE BLUE CHEER and the juxtaposition of BC and Ice Cream was too much. I had to have it. I ran to my Mac G3 and dialed up that modem as fast as it would dial. Early daze… Then I proceeded to Google BC and see what they were up to these days. We all watched that killer Closet Classic on MTV of Summer Time Blues and that is where I fell in love with them.

I sought out the records later in life, but here I was in the 2000’s? and where were they? I found a website and it had a contact for North American management for the band. I just threw out a quick email stating that I was a fan, owned a T-shirt printing company and was more than willing to help out if the EVER needed it.

The NEXT morning, I had an email from Rosalyn, the woman handling them here in the States. See, BC had relocated to Koln Germany and were doing just fine over there and in Japan. They never really stopped. She was so excited that I had reached out. She said the band loves it when their 1%’ers (BC fans) reach out to them, and especially if they offer help. I immediately got together with a friend I had at the White Eagle named Thomas. He was a super chill guy and struggling artist. He had a knack for retro 60’s looking stuff and he was up to the task.

He cranked out a 1% design and a logo and some other stuff. We printed up a variety of sample t-shirts and started the process of sending them to the band via Rosalyn in L.A. 

This part got to be a bit tedious so she eventually just gave me Dickie Petersons’ mailing address in Koln. We had a procedure for getting them to him and for getting his feedback (pun intended). In all the back and forth with Rosalyn, she mentioned that “I’m just gonna have to have Dickie give you a call some time! Don’t forget to ask him about the 3 legged dog and the boat!”

I was pretty sure that she was just building me up and stringing me along…

...but she sent me an 8x10 of Dickie and a letter out of the blue. 

She also warned me to ignore ex-guitarist Randy Holden. Dickie was and is BC, and no one else represents them. Got it!

THEN, one day at work, I had a call on my old flip phone and the number was a dazzling display of digits. I was like “Who and what the hell could this be?!?!” I answered it and the voice on the other line asked “Dean Miles?” 

Uh… yeah! “This is Dickie Peterson of Blue Cheer!”

Holy crap, it was him and I could tell just from his voice. I was stunned but played it cool as a cucumber. Man, if I told you we talked for over an hour and a half, you probably wouldn’t believe me. But we got on like a house on fire. He was so casual and just comfortable with me, that I just kinda did an interview. Of course, I had all sorts of questions outside of the t-shirt we were working on. I don’t really recall the story of the dog and the boat, but he did bring it up without my asking. 

I feel okay talking about some of these things because he has passed and so has pretty much anyone he was talking about. He mentioned his addiction issues and how he regretted letting that waste a bunch of his time and money. He said Janis Joplin turned him onto the junk. They were all at practice and she wanted some alone time with her boyfriend Paul (BC drummer). The band had work to do so Dickie objected. She said “Shut up Dickie, and just try this.” He said that was the beginning of the end. 

I’m not trying to dish dirt, or re write Rock & Roll history with any of this. Just to share my story. That’s all.

I asked him if he liked “Stoner Rock” and he replied that he was more of a blues guy. Which is totally true. I let him know that tons of bands out there worshipped at the Marshall altar of Blue Cheer. He seemed to like that.

I just have bits of stuff that I remember because it flowed so effortlessly. He was a real cool cat. I picked up the phone at the shop and talked for a bit, closed up, drove home (talking still), got home, walked in and mouthed to Darcy 

“IM ON THE PHONE WITH DICKIE PETERSON!!! and we continued to talk. 

By the end of our talk, he offered to put us up in Koln at their rehearsal spot. He gave me his phone number and address. I mean, Damn!!! Old School!!!

One of the coolest things I wanted to impart on you from our phone call was the 1%er thing. I asked him about that and the “Biker” connection, and he proceeded to tell me this story…

“You know, we were playing a gig way back in the day and it was a biker rally. Shit broke out and so did the guns. We dove under our truck that we brought all the gear in. Man, when the dust settled and we got back out from under there, we had holes and shit shot in our brand new amps. I was pissed and started to stomp around asking who was in charge here. Well, the biggest, baddest looking cat steps forward. I stood my ground and politely explained we had just bought the amps and we can’t work if we don’t have gear. He looks at me and says ‘How much do think they cost to replace?’ I gave him a figure and without hesitation he starts peeling hundreds off a money roll from his pocket. He says ‘Is that fair?’ I said ‘more than fair’. He just went back to hashing it out with the other club president that they had just gotten into it with. We loaded up and got the hell outta there. Let me tell you one thing though, a lot of people call those dudes outlaws and whatnot, but I’ll tell you the only people who stole from me were in 3-piece suits. Those outlaws were righteous when I needed them. The only OUTLAWS I know wear 3 piece suits.”

WORD!!!

Another cool thing that happened with this was I shop at a local record store called Vinyl Resting Place. Toby, the owner, has a bulletin board up and at the top is an OLD Blue Cheer picture of them playing outside to like 20 people behind some apartments. I would always just stare at this picture and wonder about the scene that day.

Well, the whole t-shirt thing was happening so I explained it to Toby and asked if I could borrow the picture for an hour. I wanted to go home, scan it and share it with the band. He had no problem with this. I sent it to Dickie and he couldn’t recall anything. He just remarked at the hair cuts and busted sticks on the ground. I was hoping they would get a kick out of it and circulate it on the site or something. No dice….

Fast forward to 2007 and BC is touring the States. I immediately start in on the promoter here in Portland and Rosalyn for a back up. My band at the time (Legend of Dutch Savage) has GOT to play this one. We actually secured an opening slot and couldn’t have been happier.

The ads hit the paper and our name is there. It’s really happening. I can thank Dickie for the call and meet him in person. Maybe even secure the t-shirt for the tour?!?!

I knew I shouldn’t expect too much….

The shirt thing was a no-go because they already had that in the works. Rosalyn was in L.A. and could get them done dirt cheap. 

Okay, cool… We still got the gig.

NOPE…. some friends had just started a band named Red Fang and they were invited to play the show. At first we all were on the show, but somewhere along the line Dutch Savage got bumped from the bill. Probably so it was just 2 openers. 

Hell of a bill…

Meanwhile, I was crushed. I have opened for tons of great bands but that’s about the only success I’ve enjoyed in my 35+ years as a working musician. Records, tours and the usual bull that a band goes through is all well & good, but when you get a slot playing on the same stage on the same night as your musical heroes, it just makes it all worth it.

I’ve played shows with Roky Erickson, Hawkwind, Dead Moon, Steel Pole Bath Tub, White Stripes and on & on.

  I was bummed beyond belief and just refused to deal with the whole night. I didn’t go to the show, didn’t go meet Dickie and didn’t drag my drums out on stage. I just sat home and moped. The scene was moving on, and no matter how tight we had it nailed for that show, we still got the shaft. No biggie. Dusted myself off and kept moving. Aint no cure…

I don’t really have many regrets in life but not going down to Dante’s that night is one of them.

I should have gotten over my self-entitled ego and just went down there. I will never forgive myself for blowing off the opportunity to meet the guy who took time to call ME to chat and just be a cool dude. I’m sorry Dickie!!! I know you had to leave this earth not too long after this gig, but the music lives on my brother. Always has/Always will. 

Like a true bluesman.

FROM WIKIPEDIA: 

On October 12, 2009, Peterson died in Germany after the development and spread of prostate cancer. After Peterson's death, longtime Blue Cheer guitarist Andrew MacDonald wrote on the group's website that "Blue Cheer is done. Out of respect for Dickie, Blue Cheer (will) never become a viable touring band again.". Under ten years later, in January 2019, drummer Paul Whaley died of heart failure.

[br0kenbutterfly]

22/5/17

Right, so this week i’ve done a lot of adult talking, and also a LOT of worrying at people - thanks to Cathie, Laura and Dara who have listened to it all like champs and told me its normal and okay to be worried, that I am worth having this surgery, and that theyll be there for me. 

I’ve now told several people (IRL, not just on the internet) about my surgery - my flatmates, Laura and Jess, Ella, Cathie, Michele, my boss and my team at work. The big one today was telling my mum. I called her tonight and we had a good chat about a lot of stuff first. It went about as well as can be expected - she is happy (i think?) but is nervous and excited and is nagging me to start taking optifast now so im used to it.. She made a couple of weird comments, like how oh i guess privately they dont care about you so long as you have the money (well i think they care just as much as public surgeons, probably more because they have to answer to their patients, not like public ones who just swan off. Anyway.) She also wants to take the whole 2 weeks off work to come up and see me, which i have said i dont think she needs to do, but of course she thinks she knows better. She also went on a bit about how difficult itll be to get time off...but honestly, expected from her. 

Other things Ive now done are try to track my food and fail, havent had any major takeout....i dont think? No KFC or macdonalds. I did have burgers an dbeers on friday. im trying to cook more in prep for life after surgery. Ive been googling the shit out of food diaries - at the moment i think ill just get a plain diary. 

[rogue-rook]

many highlights from The Suffering Game from a first-time TAZ listener

also featuring bits from the Lunar Interlude IV: The Calm Before the Storm

that’s a fucking ominous combination of names, THANKS MCELROYS!!!!

griffin: “kravitz, who’s the bounty hunter for the raven queen, who’s the goddess of the natural passage of life and death” that’s an awesome title, wayyy cooler than just “goddess of death”

kravitz and taako is a good ship, im glad its a thing people ship

the BOB opened a wine and pottery place and i gotta give them credit for being so considerate of their employees and also being on top of the best hipster ass trends…justin named it the Chug and Squeeze. its the rowdy one

kravitz: "how much more dying do you think is gonna happen?" taako: "us dying? or like other regular dying?" kravitz: "any dying at all" taako: "there's gonna be some"

kravitz getting all agitated by the umbra staff and the probable lich inside it is making ME nervous

sweet angus macdonald, boy detective, is easily my favorite non-dead or death related npc

i cannot believe merle has kids

also merle called them the tres horny boys and im like my nickname of grubby grifters is way better and much less likely to horrify young children

sweet ango: “you can swear in front of me, its okay" merle: “oh shit thank god”

aw shit magnus has been having sleepless nights over the shit he doesn’t understand, poor sweet magnus

aw shit he’s gonna confront the voidfish!

a voidfish memory!!!! THERE ARE MULTIPLE VOIDFISH! aw shit there’s some big bad evil out there! AW SHIT THERE’S A BABY VOIDFISH!!

leon the artificer: "oh god, just put it in the machine, please god! im in hell and YOU'RE SATAN!"

garfield the deals wizard: “ah, angling to make a DEALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL” merle: “that was 42 L’s”

garfield: “i know what I want! YOUR SIDEBURNS!!!” everyone: “ohhhhhh”

garfield: “how about a tiny little scraping?” yall WHAT THE HELL DOES GARFIELD WANT WITH HIS HAIR???

OH NO!!! TAAKO IS GETTING THE FUCKING SWORD OFF OF GARFIELD!!!! HE BOUGHT A PERSUASION OBJECT AND THEN AN OBJECT THAT HE CAN USE TO CONVINCE A PERSON TO TRADE THEIR MOST VALUABLE ITEM! AND HE’S GETTING THE GODDAMN SWORD!!! HE METAPHORICALL LAUNCHED HIMSELF THROUGH THE METAPHORICAL HOOPS REQUIRED TO GET THAT FUCKING SWORD WITHOUT PAYING FOR IT!!!!!!! I AM SHOOK!!

griffin: “holy shit that was funny. as soon as I realized what you were doing, i was sent into a panic spiral!”

griffin: “i wish it hadn’t taken me 40-some episodes to discover the power of the epilogue”

the director: “taako, are you okay?" taako: "yeah, i’m fine! you're not my mom"

oh no the director lost 20 years of her life to a wager in wonderland and im like aw fuck this arc is gonna fuck ME UP

justin: "taako went on a date with death and now that i say this out loud, that sounds soooo cool!"

justin: “its not that taako is embarrassed about his sexuality, its just that he doesn’t think its anybody's goddamn business, especially these fucking clowns!”

magnus: "and you are?" sweet ango: "im angus macdonald, boy detective and your very good friend!" magnus: "um, sounds familiar...nah i tousle his hair and say ‘of course i remember you!’"

merle: "we're just jumping right in?" the director: "would you like to take 20 minutes to buy shorts again?" merle: "they were good shorts"

griffin "well now you have....CAPTIVES? you have now pokemon-ed these two boys!"

im like pretty sure griffin called magnus “madness”

merle: “please be hawkeye!” griffin: “yep, its the guy himself, hawk-guy, uh, no”

damn yall this twisted horror movie wonderland shit popped off magnus’s pinkie and stole merle’s dark vision

“welcome to the monster factory” YOOOO CROSSOVER!!!! MY SECRET WISH FOR THE FINAL PAM TO STEP IN TO THE ADVENTURE ZONE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE REALIZED!!

griffin: “you guys are basically fucking demigods right now. you're basically benicio del toro's character in the marvel movies” i had to google what the fuck griffin meant by that and i have seen almost al the marvel movies so i would easily label that as the Deepest Cut

taako: “do you think that wet ropes are conductive?” magnus: “more so than dry ropes!" [sounds of justin dying of laughter away from the mic"

oh god taako’s finally gone back to the ethereal plane and these glowy-eyed creeps are back!!!!! im so creeped out!!!!!

griffin: “damn, you're the danger squad!!” taako: “well, somebody dropped a washing machine on me and i got squished into a ghost!! so its not foolproof” well now ive got this mental image of taako as like a smushed goomba

griffin: “there’s NO healing in wonderland!” man griffin is getting just a tad TOO into this whole Playing God shit

griffin: “the severed head is just laying there...cuz its a head”

cam the body-less head: “im sorry i can't greet you with a formal hand shake, but i seem to have misplaced my...my everything”

 cam: “what brings you to wonderland?” magnus: “looking for a bell” cam: “must be a pretty good fucking bell”

cam: “what do you know about liches?” magnus: “they get stitches, i think!” justin: “LICHES GET STITCHES! okay” aw shit yall liches are becoming a plot point and the one single spoiler i know about (lup) is getting mE HYPED!!!

justin: “i know what you should give up! your B-I-B-LE!” and then justin fucking SANG AN IMPROVISED SONG ABOUT MERLE’S DUMMBO BIBLE

lydia the evil elf lich bitch: “are you three heroes ready for your ONLY chance at love??” magnus: “uh, pass” i feel like somewhere julia’s just laughing and cheering her grubby hero husband on

justin: "is it, griffin? is it real low? is it almost like some liches of your imagination sucked my hit points away from me?! would that account for the low-ness???” griffin: “that’s like real low” justin: “IT’S LIKE SO CRAZY LOW, HUH?”

travis: “yeah, merle’s a deeply religious person, when he needs something!”

griffin: “taako’s arms shrink into his chest, and his head gets real long, and he grows a tail, and he turns into a tyrannosaurus rex!” travis: “meanwhile magnus is setting mannequins on fire” yall this fight got real real real wild super quick!!!

oh god magnus’s SOUL GOT KNOCKED OUT OF HIS BODY

“I’ll be having my body back, you undead fuck” YOOOOO THAT SHIT WAS SO DOPPPPEEEEEEE

griffin: “i've reached a point where when i hear justin say 'im going to cast' i assume the next words are a thing that's going to break the sequence of the shit that you've written down”

justin: “im going to cast Animate Objects on the mannequins, and I can animate up to ten of them” griffin: “HOLY FUCKING SHIT, WHAT? HOLY JESUS FANTASIA!”

HOLY SHIT WHAT?? magnus’s kid memory has a different sky than the one he’s in now, and im like WHATTT???? THATS SOME MORE PUZZLE PIECE SHIT!!!!! MULTI-PLANAR PUZZLE PIECE SHIT!

clint: “i want to change Divine Word into Divine Wood" griffin: "and you pop the most righteous boner”

the fact that the umbrella ATE edward the magical evil elf shit even though taako is unconscious as hell is AWESOME

LYDIA THE EVIL ELF LICH DESTROYED MAGNUS’S BODY!!!! that’s some GARBAGE luck my dude

merle: "i have a spell called Raise Dead" magnus: "he's not dead" justin: "he's only mostly dead!" griffin: "OH MY GOD" justin: “we got monty python, we got princess bridge, this podcast has it all!

griffin: "just have somebody heal you! don't act like you got revived from the power of your cool catchphrase!" justin: “i can’t say a cool catchphrase twenty minutes after we won!” griffin: “okay what are you astrally projecting into the atmosphere???” taako: “LICHES.....GET.....STITCHES!”

jesus, magnus’s great life goal and plan is to be reunited with julia, that’s some tragic heartbreaking shit

rowan: “my day was pretty shit” magnus: “oh, are you a mannequin?” rowan: “oh my god is that MAGNUS??” magnus: “yeah, so, maybe like keep your shit to yourself, unless you’re a fucking mannequin”

justin: “hey, i have a question, among like retrieving our belongings, did magnus, he did get himself a new arm, right, he got his arm back?” travis: “yeah, plugged it back in like G.I. Joe”

“you made something, and you’re terrified of it...[..]..you removed your uniform, and its a bright crimson uniform with an insignia patch...[...]...you decide they’re the ones who are going to be able to keep this cup safe” PUZZLE PIECES!!!! PUZZLE PIECES!!!!! HOLY SHIT YALL!!!

they’ve come back around to the start, where wave echo cave is and the gerblins arc took place, and im so EXCITED!

“sturdy. denim. blue” I CALLED IT AND I WAS SOOOOOOO FUCKING RIGHT AND IM SO HYPED TO BE RIGHT!!!!!I IT WAS BARRY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME!!!!

this arc felt like a million goddamn years, cuz of all the, ya know, SUFFERING, it actually felt more tedious and exhausting than fucking petals to the metal, but it was pretty good, i liked it. i also feel like the grubby grifters have earned a new nickname: the grubby heroes