#okay but the context behind this actually so wild

[calypso-rt]

lodge retreat!

with the insufferable Rafe Cameron

-> Pt. 1: roadtrip!

-> Rafe x F!reader

-> read part 1 for context por favor i promise it's good

The second you step out of Rafe’s car, the crisp mountain air hits you: fresh pine, damp earth, the lingering chill of early morning. It would be breathtaking if you weren’t immediately tackled by a blur of white linen and wild curls.

“Oh my God,” Kiara shrieks, squeezing the life out of you. “I thought you died.”

You grunt, winded. “Good to see you too, Kie.”

JJ appears right behind her, grinning. “We were taking bets on how you’d show up. My money was on a dramatic helicopter entrance.”

You snort. “Yeah, well, my other option was walking, so.”

Kiara finally pulls back, eyes darting behind you, and when she sees who drove you here, her jaw drops.

“No.”

Rafe, ever the picture of smug confidence, leans against the car like he owns the entire lodge. “Yes,” he says smoothly.

Kiara turns to you in pure betrayal. “Him?”

You rub your temples. “It was him or missing your wedding.”

JJ claps Rafe on the back, laughing. “Damn, man. Never thought I’d see the day.”

“What day?” Rafe asks, feigning innocence. “The day she begged me for a favor?”

Your nostrils flare. “It was not begging.”

Kiara gapes at the two of you, looking suspiciously between you and Rafe like she’s trying to solve an actual crime scene. “What the hell happened on that drive?”

“Nothing,” you say quickly.

“Everything,” Rafe says at the exact same time.

Kiara narrows her eyes. “Okay. We’ll circle back to that.”

Before you can protest, the wedding party descends, groomsmen, bridesmaids, old friends, enveloping you in greetings and chatter. And of course, Rafe slides into the mix way too easily, laughing with JJ, charming the bridal party like he belongs here.

Then, the worst thing imaginable happens.

One of the groomsmen nudges JJ and nods toward you and Rafe. “Damn. How long have they been a thing?”

You nearly choke. “We are not—”

“Oh, since forever,” Rafe says smoothly, throwing an arm over your shoulders.

JJ grins. “Right? About time they admitted it.”

Kiara looks ready to combust with questions. You? You’re mentally calculating the fastest way to throw yourself off the nearest mountain.

This weekend just got way more complicated.

...

“This has to be a joke,” you say flatly.

The front desk attendant offers you a sheepish smile. “I’m afraid not. Since you arrived late, the only room we have left is our Honeymoon Suite.”

You blink. Then blink again. “Our what?”

Next to you, Rafe lets out a low whistle, his amusement practically radiating off him. “Damn, sweetheart. Didn’t know we were taking the next step so soon.”

You elbow him in the ribs. Hard.

The attendant clears her throat. “It’s a king-sized bed, private balcony, en-suite jacuzzi…” She hesitates. “It’s also… heart themed.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose. “Of course it is.”

Rafe, ever the menace, grins. “Sounds perfect.”

“It is not perfect,” you snap. “It’s a disaster.”

“C’mon,” he leans in, voice teasing. “What’s the worst that could happen? You fall madly in love with me?”

You glare. “I’d rather sleep in the car.”

The attendant winces. “Actually, overnight parking isn’t allowed on the premises.”

You curse under your breath.

“Guess that settles it,” Rafe hums, reaching for the key. “Honeymoon Suite it is.”

You stare at the room key in his hand, then at the front desk worker who clearly wants no part in this mess. Finally, with a deep sigh, you snatch your bag off the counter.

“This weekend just keeps getting better and better,” you mutter.

Rafe chuckles, slinging an arm around your shoulder as you stomp toward the suite. “Don’t worry, baby. I’ll be a perfect gentleman.”

You roll your eyes, but there’s no denying the warmth creeping up your neck.

...

The second you step into the suite, you stop dead in your tracks.

“Oh. My. God.”

Rafe lets out a low whistle behind you. “This is… something.”

It’s worse than you imagined. Scratch that, it’s a nightmare.

The entire room is decked out in nauseatingly over-the-top romance décor. The bed is massive, covered in silky red sheets with actual rose petals scattered on top. There’s a heart-shaped jacuzzi in the corner, an abundance of dim mood lighting, and, just to really drive the point home, two fluffy white robes embroidered with Mr. and Mrs. hanging by the bathroom door.

“I’m gonna be sick,” you mutter.

Rafe chuckles, strolling inside like he belongs there. “Gotta say, I’m kinda touched by the matching towels, wife.”

You glare. “I’m assuming divorce is included with the stay.”

He smirks, tossing his bag onto the bed. “Careful, sweetheart. Talk like that and people might think you actually like me.”

You throw your bag at him.

He catches it easily, laughing as he plops down onto the bed. “Gotta admit, this is kinda nice.” He bounces slightly. “Bed’s comfy.”

“You mean the bed,” you deadpan. “Singular. One.”

Just as you start looking for anywhere else to sleep, Rafe props himself up on his elbows. “You know,” he muses, “we could set some ground rules.”

You narrow your eyes. “Like what?”

He holds up a finger. “Rule one: no kicking me in your sleep.”

“Fine. Rule two: no hogging the covers.”

Rafe snorts. “Baby, I am the covers.”

You throw a pillow at him.

He laughs, catching it with ease, but then his expression softens. “Seriously, though,” he says, sitting up. “If it makes you uncomfortable, I can take the couch.”

Your stomach flips. It’s the first time he’s dropped the teasing act, and for some reason, that throws you more than the heart-shaped bed.

You cross your arms, avoiding his gaze. “It’s fine. We’re adults. We can survive one night.”

Rafe watches you for a beat, then nods. “Alright, sweetheart. Just don’t go falling in love with me in your sleep.”

You roll your eyes, but for the first time since stepping into the room… you don’t completely hate the idea.

...

The fire crackles, sending embers drifting into the cool mountain air. Laughter and music fill the night as people gather around, drinks in hand, wrapped in the golden glow of the flames.

You pull your sweater tighter around you, balancing a cup of something warm in your hands as you take in the scene. JJ and Kiara are at the center of it all: her curled up against his side, his arm slung over her shoulders, both of them grinning like they already know tomorrow will be the best day of their lives.

“Didn’t think they’d actually make it here, did you?”

Rafe’s voice is low, teasing, as he steps up beside you.

You smirk. “Oh, not a chance. I had a whole bet going on whether they’d call it off or elope somewhere at the last minute.”

He chuckles, nudging your shoulder. “And what was your money on?”

You take a sip of your drink. “Elope. With JJ’s track record? I figured he’d panic and drag Kie to Vegas.”

Rafe hums in agreement, watching as JJ dramatically dips Kiara in front of the fire, making her burst into laughter.

“They’re disgustingly cute,” you say, scrunching your nose.

“Painful to watch,” Rafe agrees.

A comfortable silence settles between you. The night is crisp, the fire warm, the stars impossibly bright against the inky sky. You steal a glance at Rafe. His profile sharp in the firelight, the usual smugness softened into something… calmer. Almost thoughtful.

He catches you looking. “What?”

You shake your head. “Nothing.”

Before he can press, JJ’s voice booms across the clearing.

“Alright, listen up!” He stumbles a little as he climbs onto a log, lifting his beer like a toast. “Tomorrow’s a big day. Huge, actually. Probably the biggest day of my life—”

“Probably?” Kiara cuts in, arching a brow.

JJ grins. “Definitely the biggest day of my life.” He throws an arm around her, pressing a dramatic kiss to her temple before turning back to the group. “And I just wanna say… I love all you guys.”

A chorus of cheers erupts around the fire. Pope hollers, Sarah claps, and someone (probably John B) yells, “Simp!”

JJ flips them off. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. But for real… wouldn’t wanna do this without you guys.” His gaze sweeps over the group, landing on you. “Even you,” he adds with a smirk.

You roll your eyes. “Wow, I’m honored.”

He winks, then shifts his attention to Rafe. “And you? Didn’t think I’d catch you dead at my wedding.”

Rafe smirks, tipping his beer in JJ’s direction. “What can I say? Your bride’s best friend begged me to be here.”

You elbow him, but JJ just cackles. “Now that I believe.”

The night stretches on. More drinks, more laughter, more warmth. At some point, you find yourself sitting next to Rafe on a log, legs stretched out toward the fire.

It’s easy, being here like this. The banter, the teasing, it’s all still there, but something’s different. Softer. Less sharp edges, more… something else.

You glance at Rafe again, and this time, he’s already looking at you.

Neither of you say anything. It doesn’t feel like you need to.

...

Rafe looks good in a suit. Too good. And it’s annoying.

You tell yourself it doesn’t matter. That it shouldn’t matter. But as you glance across the ceremony space: rows of chairs lined up against the stunning mountain backdrop, JJ standing at the altar, fidgeting slightly as he waits for Kiara, you can’t help but notice the way Rafe carries himself.

The dark navy suit, perfectly tailored. The way his hair is effortlessly styled, like he barely tried but still somehow managed to look infuriatingly good.

You drag your gaze away, focusing on the moment. Kiara appears, breathtaking in her dress, and JJ’s jaw literally drops.

The ceremony is beautiful, full of soft vows and inside jokes and that overwhelming kind of love that makes your chest ache. You should be focused on them.

But every time you glance up, Rafe is already looking at you.

He doesn’t smirk like usual. Doesn’t tease. Just holds your gaze for a beat too long, like he’s reading every thought you don’t want to have right now.

You swallow hard and turn away.

Afterwards, the reception is in full swing. The string lights cast a golden glow over the outdoor dance floor, laughter and music filling the air. People are already tipsy, the speeches are done, and JJ is dramatically twirling Kiara around.

You’re nursing a drink, enjoying the moment, when someone slides up next to you.

“Didn’t think I’d see you here.”

You glance up at the guy, Nate something, a friend of the Pogues, someone you’ve talked to once or twice at parties. He’s charming enough, leaning in slightly, a slow smile on his face.

You smile back, making casual conversation. It’s harmless. Just friendly.

Until you feel a presence at your side.

You don’t see Rafe approach, but suddenly, he’s there. Close. The warmth of him practically pressing into your space as he casually—too casually—rests a hand on the small of your back.

“Nate,” Rafe says, voice smooth but cool. “Didn’t know you were still hanging around.”

Nate chuckles, clearly oblivious. “Could say the same about you, man.”

Rafe’s fingers press just slightly against your back, the touch light but unmistakable. “Yeah, well. Some things are worth sticking around for.”

You blink, glancing up at him. What the hell does that mean?

Nate hesitates, eyes flicking between the two of you. “Right. Well…” He offers you a quick smile. “I’ll see you around.”

As soon as he’s gone, you turn to Rafe. “Okay, what was that?”

He doesn’t move his hand. If anything, he steps in closer, voice low in your ear.

“We were supposed to dance first.”

Your breath catches.

It’s not the words that get you, it’s the way he says them. The quiet intensity. The way his fingers linger, the way he looks at you like he’s just now realizing something himself.

You should pull away. Should roll your eyes and brush it off like you always do.

But for some reason, you don’t.

Then, the music shifts, something slower, something golden-hued and dreamlike, and Rafe takes it as a sign.

His fingers slide from the small of your back to your hand, and before you can process what’s happening, he’s leading you onto the dance floor. Your heart stutters as his palm finds your waist, the other curling around your fingers, holding you close but not too close.

“You’re serious about this?” you murmur, trying to sound unaffected, but your voice is softer than you mean for it to be.

Rafe smirks, tilting his head. “What, afraid I’ll step on your toes?”

You scoff, but the breathless feeling in your chest betrays you. He moves easily, naturally, guiding you in slow circles beneath the string lights. The world narrows to the warmth of his hand, the quiet push and pull between you.

“I thought you’d be terrible at this,” you admit.

He hums. “I’m full of surprises.”

The glow of the reception wraps around you both, the background noise fading into something distant, unimportant. His thumb brushes against the side of your hand absentmindedly, like he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it.

Your gaze flickers up, catching the way he’s watching you, like you’re something worth memorizing.

“Some things are worth sticking around for,” he says again, softer this time.

And suddenly, you realize.

He wasn’t just talking about the party.

…

You wake up warm.

Which is strange, because you remember falling asleep on the farthest possible side of the bed, a clear, respectable distance from Rafe.

And yet, there’s an arm draped over your waist. A steady rise and fall against your back. The slow, even rhythm of his breathing, inches from your ear.

Oh.

You blink, still half-asleep, brain sluggish as it tries to process the situation. You should move. Should untangle yourself before he wakes up and starts smirking about it. But it’s early. So early the sun is barely creeping through the gauzy hotel curtains. And the bed is warm, and comfortable, and…

Rafe shifts behind you, murmuring something incoherent, his grip unconsciously tightening, pulling you closer.

You freeze.

Okay. Okay. This is fine.

Maybe if you just—

“Stop thinking so loud,” Rafe mumbles, voice still thick with sleep.

Your breath catches. “I—”

His arm flexes slightly, like he’s debating letting go. But he doesn’t.

“You were hogging the covers,” he says, voice scratchy. “Had to do something.”

“You are the covers,” you murmur back before you can stop yourself.

A slow chuckle rumbles from his chest. “Told you.”

You should shove him away. You should, because this is ridiculous. But you don’t.

Instead, you let yourself relax, just for a second. Let yourself exist in this quiet moment, where neither of you are arguing, where his warmth seeps into your skin, where it’s easy to pretend that this—whatever this is—is normal.

A beat of silence.

Then—

“You drool in your sleep,” Rafe says, lips twitching.

You shove him. Hard.

He laughs, rolling onto his back as you sit up, yanking the covers away from him. “I do not.”

“Oh, you definitely do.” He stretches, arms over his head, looking far too smug for someone who was just cuddling you in his sleep. “Like, full-on, pillow soaking, completely unattractive—”

You grab one of the decorative heart-shaped pillows and smack him with it.

He grins, dodging easily, sitting up as you swing at him again. “Whoa, whoa… violence already? And here I thought we were having a moment.”

You glare, but your pulse is betraying you, thrumming a little too fast. “We were not having a moment.”

Rafe raises a brow, tilting his head. “No?”

“No,” you insist, scrambling off the bed. “It was the sleep deprivation. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

He hums, clearly unconvinced. “Right. That explains why you didn’t let go.”

You throw another pillow at him.

He just laughs, shaking his head as he watches you storm into the bathroom. “Whatever you say, sweetheart.”

And the worst part?

You can still feel the ghost of his arm around you.

Taglist: @drewstarkeyslover, @honeybee270, @melsbels-zip, @rafeycameronsgf, @vanessa-rafesgirl, @amel1ee

(tagged everyone asking abt a pt 2) <3

[sunderwight]

Crack SVSSS Mpreg AU where when Shen Yuan transmigrates in, the system impregnates him with the displaced soul of the original Shen Qingqiu.

For the purposes of this AU, we'll say that male pregnancies or trans men being pregnant in the PIDW universe are uncommon but not especially noteworthy concepts.

So now not only does he have to deal with recovering from his qi deviation and of course being pressed into the role of the scum villain from the novel he was just reading, he's also mysteriously knocked up, can't explain it, and doesn't even know for sure if the baby will recollect being Shen Jiu when its born -- and of course hate him for stealing the Shen Qingqiu life.

What's more, Shen Yuan can't bring himself to get rid of it, because he does have mixed feelings about stealing Shen Jiu's life as well. Even though he knows it's probably the best tactical move, and he doesn't even like Shen Jiu, and the system has said there wouldn't be any penalties because it wouldn't impact the major important plot milestones, he opts to just... keep it. And not think too hard about it.

Luckily(?) cultivators have a lot of control over their bodies, which means a pregnancy can last however long they want it to, so Shen Yuan doesn't have to worry about giving birth in a hurry. SJ seems fine in utero, stalling his development doesn't have adverse effects, so Shen Yuan just swears Mu Qingfang to secrecy and figures out how to keep his pregnancy at the early stages for as long as possible while he hashes everything else out. So apart from internal freak-outs, most of the early plot proceeds as usual.

Unluckily(?), this state of affairs changes when Shen Qingqiu gets infected with Without-a-Cure, as that makes it so that putting off the inevitable is no longer a viable course of action. He can't spare the extra energy and doesn't have the stability of cultivation required to mess around with his pregnancy anymore, so things have to proceed at a more normal rate.

Which means the other peak lords and the disciples on Qing Jing find out that Shen Qingqiu has been harboring a secret pregnancy for an undetermined length of time. Shen Yuan has to bite the bullet and use the amnesia excuse to explain his lack of insight to the existence of any other parents (he's surprised it works so well, because he doesn't know that the rest of the sect has already figured out he doesn't remember some things after his fever), which inspires a lot of behind-the-scenes chaos because everyone has ALSO figured out that Shen Qingqiu's amnesia seems to pertain to things that must have traumatized him in the past.

So if he's pregnant, and he lost his memories of how he got that way...

Well. Cang Qiong is now on the hunt for an attacker who might already be dead and doesn't actually exist.

But everyone agrees that Shen Qingqiu doesn't need to be troubled by these details, so if he's okay with not remembering, then they're okay with letting him not remember. The only one who tries to bring it up is Liu Qingge, and that's mostly in the context of wanting clues so he can track down the culprit and stab them until they are dead.

Luo Binghe supports the quest to find the persona responsible and violently murder them, but as a disciple he has no resources to actually go on some wild goose chase for a mystery rapist. Besides, he has more important things to do on the peak, like making Shizun's meals, keeping Shizun's house, and preparing to help raise Shizun's baby. Luo Binghe is not going to be the stepdad, he is going to be the dad who stepped up! (Binghe please cool your jets you're like fifteen you're going to give your future shizun whole new inner turmoil about whether it's possible to accidentally babytrap your own teenage disciple via immaculate conception reincarnation pregnancy...)

Anyway eventually baby SJ arrives, and Shen Yuan immediately decides to block all recollections of the childbirth process and never dwell on it again. Something happened, he's no longer going to think about it, oh look a baby! A potentially evil villain baby. With cute widdle toes and tiny fingers and a squished, grumpy baby face that gets all red when he cries...

Yeah. Despite his reservations, there's no way he's not getting attached.

He gets Binghe to help him pick out a name for the baby, partly because he feels terribly presumptuous when he actually knows this kid's real name (but he can hardly call his son "Shen Jiu"), partly to encourage Luo Binghe to have some fondness for the kid so that if he someday hates his old shizun, he might still spare his "son" from his revenge. Even though it's actually SJ's fault. Well, he's a baby now. He probably doesn't even remember anything! He sure does cry a lot! Would the OG villain cry and fuss and settle down only after being sufficiently cuddled?

Turns out, yes. Shen Jiu remembers everything from before his fatal qi deviation. He's just also still an infant. So what can he do but cry? And maybe pee on the beast and that body-stealing creature that has reduced him to this. He spends most of his early infancy waiting for someone to come smother him with a pillow, but the conspirators must want to keep him alive for some reason, because it doesn't happen. Instead he gets looked after and soothed and taken care of in a way he never has been. Also, his stupid baby instincts keep insisting that the creature which stole his body is actually the safest person in the whole world.

It's like a cruel joke. SJ finally gets the childhood he always wanted deep down inside, but the one giving it to him is some kind of monster.

[secriden]

Wild take, but when Style says, "It's okay to love," I really don't think it's actually about love at all.

Let's consider the context leading up to this point: Fadel drives Style to an abandoned factory in the woods and leaves him alone to go and brood for a while. At least part of Fadel's goal is to scare Style, to give him a hint that Fadel is more dangerous than he seems.

But Style doesn't back down, doesn't go running, evidences no sense of self-preservation or worry; and at least on some level it's a clear sign that he trusts Fadel. Despite Fadel literally punching him in the stomach; despite Fadel mocking Style's honest and wanton desire; despite Fadel chasing him away, he still trusts Fadel to keep him safe.

Imagine how frustrated Fadel must be feeling. Style was only gone for one morning, but it was enough for Fadel to become painfully aware that he did not actually want Style gone from his life. He knows now that he won't have the strength to keep refusing Style's relentless pursuit, so he needs Style to be the one to walk away from him instead.

And I think this was a final, last-ditch attempt to make Style run away.

Notice that Fadel starts out rather threatening: "I don't like you messing up my life. My life has been planned out. You're disrupting it." At this point, Fadel could have still turned this violent; attack Style and leave him injured in an abandoned warehouse, and I'm not sure that wasn't still on Fadel's mind at this point. He's incredibly aggressive at first: shoving Style back against the bar, caging Style in between his rigid arms, rattling the metal frame behind Style to show his anger.

But oh, in the heat of the moment, the truth slips out. Fadel is admitting that Style has the power to bring change into his highly regimented and structured life. He's admitting that his desire to keep Style in his life has eclipsed his need for control and structure, in spite of himself.

The truth breaks Fadel open in ways that none of Style's machinations and schemes could. He finally recognises that it is his own feelings that are the true cause of his anger and frustration.

This is the point when Fadel finally gives up on the idea of hurting Style to chase him away. His voice softens (Joong's delivery of "I miss you" makes me weep), his shoulders finally relax, he stops caging Style against the bar and instead it's almost a tentative suggestion of a desire to hold Style.

And I think Style understood this on some instinctive level. Because if you watch Style very carefully, there's a moment of genuine fear when Fadel first shoves him against the bar and then he takes a grim breath like he's fighting off a sense of despair at the at the start of Fadel's rant. Like he could tell this one was going to be a 'make or break' kind of situation.

But when Fadel begins to unravel, when he admits that he was looking for Style when he was gone, there's this almost hopeful, anticipatory look that slowly blooms on Style's face. He's so hungry to see where this goes, and he's gets this intense almost wild look on his face when Fadel pauses to search for his words.

It's incredibly important that Style waited at this point. Style, who talks endlessly and without thought. Style, who demands that his story and his thoughts are aired first. Style, who has been telling Fadel this lie time and time again before Fadel’s feelings made it true... Stops. Waits. Stays silent. Because Fadel had to get there himself or not at all.

Dunk does something incredibly subtle here, but it blew me away: Style does not blink once throughout the entirety of Fadel's rant UNTIL he says "I don't like that I miss you". And that's when Style finally blinks as if it’s finally safe to take his eyes off Fadel. As if there's a wave of relief washing over him as the tension (and sense of danger) finally breaks.

He also does this incredible thing where he softens the look he's giving Fadel right before he drops his eyes down to Fadel's lips. (Joong has always been excellent at this, but Dunk didn’t really get that many opportunities to do this in previous roles). Style is treating this moment so carefully, and there's a purposefulness to this kiss that was entirely absent from the ones Style initiated in the locker room in episode 2.

I also think it's really important that Style was the one to kiss Fadel here. Not just because it juxtaposes the kiss in the store room, but also because Style has shown a strong preference for Fadel taking the initiative. He has been consistently creating opportunities for Fadel to lay hands on him, right from episode 1 when he put the Heart Burger pin on his chest and put his arms behind his head in welcome (and surrender).

But for this to be a functional relationship, Style has to take ownership of his own desire for Fadel. He cannot remain physically passive any longer, because this is the start of something bigger than just the thrill of being wanted. Style is looking beyond what he wants, potentially for the first time, to what his partner needs.

And I wonder, is this maybe the first time Fadel has allowed himself to be kissed since his ex left? There's something so fragile in the wide-shot. The way Fadel only has one hand barely touching Style's hip, while he's still got his other hand clenched tightly around the metal bar like he's desperately holding onto a lifeline. I have so many emotions about this.

Which is why I think this line wasn't really about love at all. This was Style responding to the vulnerability he sees in Fadel and offering reassurance in return. Because Fadel is strong and doesn't need protection, but oh yes he does, for it is his heart that is in danger of shattering.

There's an incredible line in episode 13 of Love In The Air, when Sky (in the aftermath of an extremely traumatic event and after finally revealing the full truth that he was sure would drive Prapai away) turns to Prapai and asks, "P'Pai, can I really love you?" Sky is asking if his fragile heart is really going to be safe in Prapai's hands.

And I think this is exactly what Style is getting at here: He's telling Fadel It's okay to love me. That Style is safe to love. That Fadel can take the risk to let Style into his heart because Style isn't going to take it lightly.

And it's this reassurance that finally allows Fadel to let go: both figuratively (as he starts to take control of the kiss and the encounter) and literally (as he transfers his hold from the metal bar to Style's body). Even the contrast in the wider shots between the kiss before Style says "It's okay to love" and after is startling.

This wasn't really a love confession, not in the conventional understanding of it. But for Fadel, who's mother "loves" Bison and himself for their utility and usefulness, perhaps the assurance of safety is more important.

And for Style, who seems so naive and inexperienced and ignorant of the way the world works in ways that suggest he's never truly had to grow up, this is far more significant. Because he's taking responsibility of someone else's heart for the first time in a way that I don't think he's ever allowed himself before. I said before that Style would be forced to grow up and I do believe this is what we are seeing here.

So no, I don't think this was the moment of "falling in love" but I do think this was the start of something real and meaningful and purposeful that could have eventually blossomed into love for the both of them.

[librarygarten]

Hello, i loved all your LU scenarios, specially the ones where the chain reacts to their games, they were so well written.

I was wondering if you could do some scenarios where the reader talks about some Zelda trivia with the chain, like the development of some games (Majoras mask was made in just one year and the director of Zelda don't like it, there were supposed to be more dungeons in Wind Waker) or the reception of their releases (Four swords adventures sold less than a million copies, WW was poorly recieved unlike TP for it's art style, this changed as time passed, etc.), perhaps some easter eggs or cameos (Talon and Ingo looks like Mario and Luigi, Link appears in other games as a cameo).

Okay, but why is this lowkey me 😭. My autistic ass would NOT shut up about their games, even if I was telling them stuff they didn't want to hear about.

It was a peaceful day. The chain had found an inn to stay at for the night. Nobody was injured. Supplies and spirits were high. Until Wind decided to ask you a question.

“So, if our adventures are games, does that mean you know everything that happened during them? Like everyone we met, everything we did, EVERYTHING?” Wind asked. Some of the other Links brustled, clearly uncomfortable with the question and what you might say. You smile nervously. 

“Basically? But you don’t talk in the games, so I don’t know anything you said.”

“But who made the games? How do they know about our adventures?” Wind asked.

“Oooh boy.” You scratched the back of your head, “There’s a company called Nintendo, they made most of the Legend of Zelda games. I think Four’s games were made by a different company, though. That’s why some of the details are a bit screwy.”

“What’s that supposed to mean!?” Four snapped his head up to look at you, forgetting the weapon he had been working on.

“Oh, uh…” you stammered, “Well, the other company made your games, but they didn’t use the same stories as Nintendo did, so the lore gets a bit weird. Like, your Ganon is probably a completely unrelated guy from the Ganon that Time, Wind, Hyrule, Legend, and Twilight all had to deal with. The way he randomly turns into a pig in your game after getting that trident or whatever doesn’t match up at all with how Ganondorf turns into a pig after being sealed away by Time’s Zelda in an alternate timeline where Time dies during the final battle.”

“Wait, there’s a timeline where Time DIED?” Twilight is behind you now, and you’re not sure when he got there. You turn to look at him, his face full of panic.

“Yeah, Ocarina of Time kind of broke the timeline into three different paths. The game was so popular it became, like, the most important part of the timeline. It actually sold so well that the people who made the game made a sequel to it, Majora’s Mask, in under a year, which is kind of insane. For context, Ocarina of Time took over twice that long to make.” Time raised an eyebrow at your explanation, but decided he didn’t want to know more.

“Wait, if there are multiple timelines, how can you know which of our adventures are ours and which were just really similar? The many timelines means there’s infinite possibilities.” Sky asked, reminding everyone that he was the only Link to ever attend school (and remember it), and apparently he studied multiverse theory???? Moving on.

“Well, there are some differences between languages, I guess? Like, in the English version of Link’s Awakening, there’s a quest to get a mermaid’s lost necklace, but that was just a change the translators made. In the original Japanese, the quest is to get the mermaid’s bikini top.” You chatter on, missing the blush that creeps up Legend’s neck and ears. “And some of the items in Wind Waker are mixed around between the English and Japanese versions. Like maps, heart containers, and rupees are in each other's spots.”

“Can we go back to the part where there’s multiple Ganons, apparently?” Wild gripped the edge of the table, his knuckles white. You hadn’t notice him sit down. Actually, the whole chain seemed to be listening now. Wuh-oh.

“Oh, well, not at one time. Unless the dragon cutscenes from Tears of the Kingdom happen after Skyward Sword and Breath of the Wild is after all the other games. Then, Calamity Ganon was just kind of… chilling under Hyrule Castle while Four and Time dealt with their respective Ganons. But fans still argue about where your games fit on the timeline.” You shrug, trying to downplay how absolutely terrifying dealing with two Ganons at once would be.

“Wait, why do fans argue? Isn’t there an official timeline?” Hyrule asked. You groan.

“Yes, but it was published before Breath of the Wild was released, so we need to figure out where it is on the timeline based on the stuff in game, which is hard, because there's so many easter eggs.”

“Easter… eggs?” Warriors tilts his head.

“Items or decorations that reference other games. Like, in A Link Between Worlds, Legend’s house has Majora’s Mask hanging on the wall for no discernable reason. And in Breath of the Wild, there’s areas named after places in Link’s Awakening, like Koholit Rock and Goponga Island, which makes no sense because those places were dreamt up by a wind fish. Not to mention the fact the ruins of Lon Lon Ranch can be found, but there’s no way that structure would have been in as good of condition as it is for how old it is. And Lurelin village is an almost exact copy of Outset Island, but again, the timing is just too far apart.”

“But you never answered my other question.” Wind tapped your shoulder, stopping what would have been an hour-long rant on where Wild’s games fit on the official timeline. “How did ‘Nintendo’ or whoever else know about our adventures with that much detail?”

“UHHHHHH………. OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME.” You quickly stand up from the table and launch yourself out the nearest window, escaping the conversation. (You were on the first floor. You’re fine).

[sara-the-wizard]

I wrote a 9 part story that tells you exactly how my camping trip went!

I don't normally write novels, but I thought I'd give it a try!

For context, I went camping for a week and I wrote how my day went from beginning to the end. Every. Single. Day!

And of course I used tmnt characters. The story focuses on Donnies perspective, (aka me) and all the good and bad things that happened.

Oh how I wish I could have made some of this stuff up, but it is actually the PAINFUL truth.

So under the cut, you can read the first part titled, 'Arrival'

I don't know, I guess I'll call the series '7 Day Camp Stay' (it's the first thing I came up with.)

Hope you enjoy!

7 Day Camp Stay

Arrival:

'You spend too much time on technology!' They said.'

'You should go camping!' They said.'

'It'll be fun!' They said!'

'Well, here we are! Pitching tents at 10-o-clock at night at 41 degrees Fahrenheit, which is 5 degrees Celsius!'

Donnie internally screamed. knocked his knees together and folded in his fingers under his arms.

'I'm cold, I forgot to eat lunch, so I'm hungry as well!'

Donnie's stomach growled as a shiver ran up his spine. Leo saw Donnie hug his stomach.

"Uhh, guys? I think we should get those sandwiches made!"

Mikey raised an arm and saluted. He ran past Donnie and handed him a mallet. Mikey and Raphs tent was up. Now all they had to do was set up Leo and Donnie's tent. Donnie sighed and started putting up the tent. It wasn't too hard... except for the fact he drove the steaks through the wrong holes. Donnie groaned and drew the steaks out to be pounded through the correct loop.

Next step was feeding the fiberglass poll through the sleeve. He raised it up till both ends of the poll were set in place. Then the second poll... oh. you have to put both polls in while it's flat... of course.

Now Donnie was grumbling, like his stomach which did NOT have to remind him yet again how hungry he was.

Finally, he finished putting the tent up. He crawled inside and laid down. Looking up, he could see all the stars glittering the night sky. He felt so very tired. Donnie honestly just wanted to go to sleep in his nice, warm bed. But no. He was out in the cold in a thin fabric tent, and a stomach that was still screaming for food. Donnie groaned.

"Donnie! The sandwiches are done!"

Mikey called out. Donnie sat up and crawled out of the tent. Making sure to zip it up tight. The last thing he would want is a giant garden spider in his sleeping bag.

Donnie slowly walked over to the picnic table. The only light illuminating the area was from a small led lantern over head, hung on a pretty precarious nail. Donnie took his plate and sat away from under the swinging lantern.

Donnie looked at the food with a raised eyebrow. Between those two slices of bread was a funny little sandwich with turkey and avocado. It was... okay. To say the least. Donnie looked around to see everyone else smiling. But why wasn't he happy? Why did he not find joy from being in the outdoors? Why wasn't he excited to sleep In a tent like everyone else? Why couldn't he be happy? The thoughts and emotions were making it hard to swallow down his food. He quickly finished it though before anyone could notice.

"I-I'm heading to the restrooms."

"Okay, do you know where they are? do you need help finding them?"

"No! No... Raph. I know where they are. Thank you."

He grabbing the blue bar of soap in it's blue plastic travel container and rushed off to the nearest restroom. They weren't that far away. But in the dark, and with the wild dogs barking in the distance, it suddenly felt much farther than it actually was.

He rushed over to the men's side of the restrooms and opened the door, quickly slipping inside. The lights automatically turned on due to movements. It was clean, to say the least. The door slammed behind him, making him jump slightly. He rubbed his hands together, either from the cold, or his anxiety picking up a bit, he wasn't sure. He went into a stall and locked it shut. He crawled into a corner of the stall and curled into a ball, wrapping his arms around himself.

"I don't want to be here!"

Donnie whispered to himself. A small whimper escaped his throat.

"I don't want to be here!"

The whimpers soon turned into quite sobs. Tears started falling down his cheeks. He normally didn't cry, but everything felt wrong at that moment. Suddenly the restroom door opened with a loud creek. Donnie's breath hitched. He covered his mouth with his hands, hoping to stop any sound from escaping.

"Donnie? You in here?"

Raph called out in a calm tone. Donnie quietly took a breath in, in hopes it would steady his voice.

"Yeah, just... using the bathroom!"

Donnie's nose started to drip. Out of habit, he sniffled. This raised Raphs big brother tingles.

"You doing okay?"

"Yeah, yeah! I'm doing fine! Just... just give me a minute."

"Okay."

Raph slowly closed the door, gently latching it shut. Donnie took a deep breath in and rubbed his knees with his cold hands. He wiped the tears away with his coat sleeves and washed his hands.

Slowly he exited the restroom. Raph was there waiting for him. Donnie shifted his eyes to the ground.

"I'm fine."

Donnie confirmed. Raph lifted one of his arms out from his hoodie pocket and reached out towards him. Donnie slowly walked into his offered hug and excepted the brief touch. Raph wrapped his arm around Donnie and gave him a gentle shoulder rub. Raph wasn't going to ask questions if Donnie wasn't willing to talk about it. They walked back to the campsite. No words were exchanged.

Okay! Phew! That was a bit! But I hope you enjoyed it!

Stay tooned for the first actual full day at camp!

Lord bless you, and have a wonderful day!

Next

[saltsongwc]

How do the swapped roles change Tiger and Spotted’s relationships with Fireheart? Also, how does it change the roles of Tiger’s clique (Darkstripe, Longtail, Dustpelt, possibly Goldenflower, etc.)?

Hooooo boy I'm gonna ramble-

So first of, context for how I envision the characters acting, I think Spotted's role in the narrative is much less violent than Tiger, she doesn't want to cause deaths unless necessary, because that would be bad for her, in a "The more lies you tell the more you have to keep track of", she genuinely thought Bluestar would pick her over Lionheart when she killed Redtail. Alas the plan failed, so I think she would try to gaslight Ravenpaw more than outright threaten him into silence, I don't think Ravenpaw would buy it, but it would lend to a more trusting relationship between her and Fireheart at the end of Into the Wild, a "Was Raven telling the truth or is she actually innocent?" is the thought Fireheart has.

So on her part, Fireheart and her are friends in a sort of "Dark mentor vs Good Mentor", she's trying to influence Fireheart by noticing how much trust Bluestar has on him, and her voice as one of his friends does mitigate the hostilities from other cats (particularly Dustpelt and Darkstripe as Darkstripe was her apprentice (because Tigerfoot can't mentor him)).

With Tiger, the fact he's very intimidating even when he doesn't want to and outright a bit antagonistic to Fireheart at the beginning (because kittypet (Tiger still has daddy issues and associates them to kittypets instead of outright going to therapy)) leads to a "I don't want to listen to you because you're mean" relationship that just escalates when Shadowclan steals the kits, Tiger does survive Clawface but he's basically knockout for the rest of the adventure, eventually having to grind his teeth when Bluestar welcomes Yellowfang to be the new medicine cat ("She saved your life and will help you while you recuperate")

Fireheart does begin to spend more time in the medicine den to chat with Yellow which eventually leads to more interactions with Tiger, I think however, they would become closer friends when Cinderpaw is hit by the monster, as now it's not just chatting with Yellow but also basically spending 24/7 by the entrance, and now Graystripe is also gone.

They would take a hit for a bit when Spotted betrays Thunderclan and almost murders Bluestar, Tiger is conflicted if the trust on Fireheart was misplaed considering he was friends with Spotted, but I think they would patch it up, their relationship and dynamic is rocky, and he's the pessimist in the trio of medicine cats before the fire.

OKAY TIGER'S CLIQUE, which is, not that extensive, he's isolated by choice most of the time, hermit would be word, that isn't to say he doesn't have friends, just, limits his circle, he wouldn't even consider Bluestar a friend, just the authority figure he's taught to respect, I think the only two of the clique that remain would be Goldenflower and Longtail, and just add Whitestorm into the mix, my reasonings:

Due to this AU having Leopardfoot's death happen during his apprenticeship instead of later in life, Goldeflower takes a bit of sympathy for him, in a "Look at this wet cat" way, I'm making them contemporaries instead of canon "She's much older than him", so she's part of the apprentice clique and is part of his support systm during Leapordfoot's death, she definetly had a crush on him when she was a warrior and he was a new medcat, but they never went further than that, I think when she has Swiftkit it's a sort of "What if?" moment for both of them, a very "Things could've been different" that they both regret, if only a bit. But she remains a close friend of his.

Longtail's addition to the clique is much less direct than in canon, because Longtail is salty about losing to a kittypet (and an apprentice no less), so he complains to Tiger while healing and Tiger just complains back, a friendship born of talking shit behind other's back. Longtail separates away from Darkstripe and Spotted when he sees they're just being all cozy cozy with the cat that TORE his EAR the AUDICITY/j, he feels betrayed by who he thought would be on his side, eventually realizing "Oh, this cat doesn't deserve my hatred", and when eventually from Goldeflower he finds out why Tiger dislikes Fireheart he realizes that the narrow minded point of view of hating by the sake of hating is not healthy. I think he takes a break from both clique's for a while.

THANKS for the ask and thank you for letting me ramble

[the-100-days-of-junkan]

Day 30

Alright this is a fuckin big one, for a variety of reasons. One of which being that this is the 30th Day, meaning we've hit another Milestone Piece!

First off, last time I’ll link this here, but if you like this comic and want to see it realized in a slightly more fullfilling way, go check out this fanfic which i posted across October.

Secondly, I’m about to Yap. A lot. So i’m gonna put this all underneath to read because it is a lot, which is to be expected since this is a pretty big piece for the project. And alongside that I wanna talk about the Vampire AU fic.

Okay so “where the fuck did this come from,” you might be wondering. Up till now every pic I had made was sketches with the most color being just the eyes. All of those colored pieces were given that color work long after this one, so what the hell possessed me to make a two page comic.

Well you see. I’m a bit of a fuckin weirdo who completely lacks a concept of self control. And I was starting to really, REALLY get into the idea of Vampire Junkan (No fucking surprise there.) And while I had drawn a few pics involving blood sucking up to that point, I hadn’t drawn their first time doing this, and I am very much into the intimacy that comes with Bloodsucking in the context of vampire yuri. And I can’t imagine their would be anything more intimate than the first time a vampire sucks your blood.

So it spiraled out of control from there, and boom, we have a fuckin two page comic.

Before I start talking about the actual Vampire Fic I should detail that this piece was the pivotal shift in the timeline for this project. Because it was with this one (if I remember right) that this BECAME a project. I had joked about drawing 100 Junkan pics a few times with Val, since by this point I was still drawing these at a crazy speed. As I said in a previous post, from Day 3 to Day 30 I did this all in under 2 fucking weeks, even if they weren’t colored that’s wild pace. 

I’ve never asked her but I wonder what that was like from Val’s perspective, just some random chick on tumblr comes up to you and is like-

“Hello there I like your fanfic, do you want to have Junkan art thrown at you nearly every day for the next 2 weeks???” 

That sounds like a fucking fever dream. And that’s not even considering everything else I would just, send to them for the remainder of the projects production. Some would say I’m built differently, I would say I was built concerningly.

Anyway, so by this point I made the official decision that when I hit 100 Pics, I would start posting them to the public. This eventually would be named The 100 Days of Junkan. So thankyou Vampire Junkan you are somehow vital to this whole thing.

Another thing this comic caused is that it was the trigger for me to just say “Fuck it” and just fully lock in on these pieces. I started doing full color on some of these pieces asI was making them initially rather than going back to color them retroactively, I started putting more effort into the pieces even when they were still just sketches, and as a spoiler, once we hit Day 45 i just drop the pretense that I’m not putting effort into this and every fucking pic is full color. There are literally only two of them I did not color and there was actual artistic intent behind it probably i can’t fucking remember.

Also once we hit Day 45 do we hit the point where I just no longer have pics where I feel like they were a dud. Cause I will admit, while I’m glad ya’ll have been enjoying these I can’t lie and say I don’t see some of the pics posted so far and feel like I’ve wasted some of ya’lls time. This is admittedly influenced by the fact that I know what’s coming up and as a result I know the massive jump in quality we’re gonna hit soon enough (in my opinion at least, i feel like I’m being a pretentious bitch about this).

Anyway so how’re you doin. I hope you were snacking on something while you read this because now I’m going to ramble for an unknown stretch of time about the Vampire Junkan Fic and this comic. I’m so fuckin sorry.

So anyway I’ve said briefly before I think but prior to actually writing the Fic I only had this fucking comic. I had vague ideas around it, but never a setup, an overall plot, nothing. I made this fic solely because I thought this scene would be significantly better written rather than drawn by my hands. 

I would not consider myself much of a writer. I have plenty of experience writing action from years and years ago, however in terms of telling an actual story through just writing, i’m an amateur and only had one small fic to my name, however i’m going to retread ground and go over that in much more detail, much later. I am a funny drawing woman first and my biggest desire in life is to make a webcomic called Happy Trigger. That said, ever since getting into Junkan I have had multiple urges to write stories with them since i cannot justify doing full comics as often as would be required. And one such story is that of a vampire nurse who’s never sucked blood before falling in love with someone who desires to have their blood sucked. 

I did start writing this fic a few months prior to the completion of the project. How many? Who fucking knows, it’s been a long time though.

The original first chapter actually went through a pretty big rewrite, mostly because the way I was interpreting vampires in this fic might have been racist?? Maybe???? I did have friends look it over and they said it could be interpreted as such (though they also said I would probably be fine), and I’m going to be real with you this was back when I was deeply paranoid about everything so hearing that there was even a small chance i might have fucked up like that, while also dealing with a ship which at the time I assumed would get me hated by the community, I just went ahead and rewrote. I couldn’t tell you what the original was like because it’s been a long time and i don’t even know if I have the original file. And I honestly don't think the original details would have really or added or changed much.

I had a relatively thin outline for this in my brain once I started. And said outline got pretty much entirely thrown out the window.

Fun fact, the original plan was for Mikan to just run away because people knew she was a vampire, and part of getting her to open up was Sayaka and Ibuki going public about being Vampires as well. Which would then lead into Junko coming in and then all the rest happening.

Scrapped most of that obviously.

So I just ended up taking the approach of “just write it and hope” which would eventually lead to the outline in my brain that became the whole of this fic. Chapter 3 is when things really solidified for me. It’s also where I decided to include a few more characters, Seiko and Ruruka.

I have wanted to draw art involving Ruruseiko and Junkan for so fucking long. Mikan and Seiko are already a dynamic with a lot of potential despite their lack of interactions in canon, meanwhile Junko and Ruruka I imagine would just fucking hate eachother. Tolerating each other only out of bitch girl solidarity and the fact that their girlfriends are besties. 

Originally they were not going to take such an important role, once again I scrapped planned scenes involving Sayaka and Ibuki alongside Mukuro, this would eventually get redone a LOT and reused for the epilogue as the twist that the two are vampires. (Hi, slightly in the future Jem here, I scrapped the epilogue lol. Couldn't get it to feel right, maybe someday!)

However  just couldn’t think of a way to make it work. And then, I considered the idea of Junko getting her wakeup call from a total bitch who she hates rather than her actual friends. And I fucked with it, and I had fun. 

This was my first time writing Junko in a non-despair context, which was a pretty interesting (and difficult) experience. Equally so this is my first time properly trying to write Mikan, even if it was via the lens of her being a vampire which does switch things up a little. I think if I really thought about it Mikan was the harder one to write for though, I was constantly worried that I might be going a bit too overboard for the tragic aspects of her character whenever they came up.

Another thing cut from the story is that Chihiro was supposed to be genderfluid (which is genuinely just how I headcanon Chihiro) in the fic with Junko making specific note of it during her inner monologue. However as I was looking over the chapters again I got extremely paranoid that I did a horrible job depicting that and opted to keep things ambiguous. Was this the right move? Probably not, but this is just how bad my brain can get when I’m doing things other than drawing.

If you were at all curious "Hey Jem, what was the most stressful chapter to work on?" it was the fuckin Aquarium chapter. Not only was it the one I procrastinated on the most but my confidence in it was at at it's lowest for some reason. Fun fact about that one, Junko really was going to ask Mikan about sucking her blood at the end of the chapter, but I decided to keep things simple with a confession and kissing scene. It didn't really change much beyond a bit of inner monologue stuff.

The entire experience was a constant flip flop of me in two different headspaces. I was either-

“Oh hey this is pretty fun, it’s going well”

Or

“Fuck, shit, fuck am I doing this right? Fuck this is gonna suck, shit dammit, I never wanna write again.”

This is what happens when I don’t say in the lane I’m most comfortable with (drawing), self confidence is liable to just completely plummet at some point. Quite frankly if I did not force myself onto a deadline of getting this fic done before day 30 it would not have been finished, at least not for a drainingly long time. I originally wanted to have the whole fic finished before the event started, but time got away from me and the fic itself ended up being way longer than intended. I think this was supposed to just be 6 chapters at first? And it kinda spiraled out of control from there.

I’m just glad I fucking finally got the idea of this comic onto text, it’s been haunting me for the past 9 months. 

I’ve come to the conclusion that I have a very love-hate relationship with Writing, similar to how I feel with painting. I love having a way to get my ideas out there that isn’t super strenuous for me (imagine if I took this whole story and made it a comic, i’d explode), but where it lacks in physical strain, it makes up for in extreme mental strain due to my self confidence and paranoia issues.

That said I likely will write again, the results generally end up outweighing the hellish process, and people seem to like it despite my worries. And I just have far too many ideas and not all of them can be done justice with art alone.

I’ve got a few potential One-shots left that are set in the Vampire AU, one of which i’ll probably write soon. I’ve also got the Cybertron AU that’s been my head for a good bit now which will probably be my next big writing project. I’ve got a few storylines and ideas based on future pieces of this project, and even an idea kicking around from a recent pic I did which I likely won’t execute because I don’t think in a million years I could do the idea justice.

And I also wanna do fics for other ships, like Ruruseiko or Mikuzono (Mukuro x Ibuki x Sayaka). And even outside of Danganronpa I wanna do Flarelu, since I’m a huge Fairy Tail fan and that’s my favorite ship from the series. Imagine if Mikan’s hair was even more skrunkly, and instead  of having an extremely high body count, Junko was just a very friendly girlfailure. There’s like, nothing for that ship, so I’d like to do something like what I’ve been doing for Junkan . . . Y’know just maybe a bit less excessive.

And I've posted them before, but if you'd like to read the fics that inspired the entire Vampire AU . . .

Chapter 10 of Soft (But Only for Her) by Kayleen756894

She Hits Like Ecstasy by VanadisValentine

Check out the rest of their stuff too!~

Anyway, sorry for killing your time with my incessant rambling! But I had thoughts from my brain which I wanted to get out since this is another milestone.

Your kind words are appreciated!~

[imaginespazzi]

Ok I am reading linear GH instead of working and this anon is honestly unreal - I love that they put the parts too with the dates! I am just jotting a few things that really stuck out to me and showcase your fucking GENIUS. The way you carried the themes of timing, trust, soulmates throughout everything is amazing, and its honestly fucking bananas that you were churning out a chapter a week at the beginning of this.

September 2017 (Part 3) - Facetiming

"Because as long as it’s Azzi on the other side, Paige and her impatient self can wait however long it takes."

"The younger girl makes Paige feel like it’s okay if she takes a moment to just breathe. Because Azzi will wait. Because Azzi won’t leave Paige behind."

July 2018 - I don't have a lot to note about this one but its very cute and innocent that you made Belarus be their first kiss considering they were already… well

October 2022 (Part 10) - Paige birthday surprise

a straight male flight attendant is a wild choice Nivi

"That smile, Azzi thinks, might just be the reason her world keeps turning." -> ok you use this later on when Azzi is watching Paige carry Stephie into curry camp. I can't

April 2025 (Part 14) - ARMAGEDDON

oh wow I feel like having the failed proposal so early on is going to really impact how the rest of the story feels

May 2025 (Part 11) - First Wings Game

oh my god reading the proposal then Paige's breakdown after her first Wings game is too much honestly

"Paige finds herself longing for the cold, unfeeling exterior of a foreign hotel room." -> wow you use this again when talking about how Paige prefers the hotel room when ASW is in Dallas. Comparing that to how instantly at home she feels with Azzi and Stephie in Oakland makes me wanna combust.

August 2025 (Part 8) - ASW Slow Dance

Reading them drunk slow dancing outside behind the club so soon after the proposal is truly heartbreaking and I shed a tear (or 10)

April 2027 (Part 12) - Dallas Surprise

ok seeing the gap between August 2025 and Azzi seeing Polivia when she goes to Dallas… I am kind of wondering if anything happened in the 1.5 year gap in-between… besides Olivia sinking her acrylics into Paige

May 2027 (Part 12) - PREG

I picture Tristan looking like Tyler from this past season of love is blind - good looking light skinned guy with a breeding fetish (not a parenting desire thought lol)

It will never not amaze/impress me how you managed to make Stephie exist because of Paige in two different ways

December 2027 (Part 5) - Polivia Matrimony

reading the pre-wedding phone call HITS SO MUCH HARDER with all the context. Dear god.

Drew really doesn't hold back when he dislikes the person his sister is romantically involved with eh?

"hey there little bean. I’m your-” she stops because what is she, “I’m your Paige,” -> MOMMY

August 2028 (Part 7) - LA olympics

I love that we go from the wedding to this relationship being in absolutely shambles

I've said it before I'll say it again, Olivia is so valid for fucking hating Azzi

April 2029 (Part 8) - Paige Drunk Phonecall

Wow Clem must think Paige is an absolute barbarian based off that phone call

September 2029 (Part 2) - Paige Stephie meet

This one hit really hard too when read in context. Paige has for sure seen pics of Stephie on Instagram or on the sidelines at games and thought about Azzi being a mother, actually holding that little bean would be so emotional.

April 2030 (Part 9) - HUMPIN

Reaaaallly didn't take much for them to get back into bed

August 2031 (Part 13) - ASW Hoodie Autograph

This is another gap that sticks out to me when put in context. Like they had sex and then nothing for 1.5 years when they briefly cross paths again. Obviously Azzi was busy with a toddler but without even Olivia to distract her I can imagine Paige just being so depressed wallowing in Dallas.

August 2032 (Part 13) - LAST TIME

Again seeing this in sequence stood out to me as they had sex SIX MONTHS before the story technically 'starts'… and of course have an argument/encounter that is pretty intense. I have to admit I thought it was a bit out of place how ANGRY they were in chapter one and how much they didn't want to encounter each other let alone be on the same team, especially given the fact that they had slept together a few times and had non-angry interactions. The balcony scene here really puts things in perspective. All they want is each other, but they are so damn stupid lol

February 2033 (Part 2) - Paige signs contract/ice cream date

Ok it is actually so funny that when we first got this chapter and Paige saying "“She was the most beautiful girl in the world,” “she still is.” seemed like a really bold move of Paige… in context they fucked 6 months ago its not bold at all

March 2033 (Part 5) - "It wasn't over, it still isn't over" notebook scene in Steph's office

Alright this is getting really long but I will echo what other people have said… they got together SO QUICKLY. Wild considering I remember when getting the weekly updates being so impatient for them to get together but they are making out/'taking it slow' like … 3 days after P moves to Oakland

ANYWHOOOO You are the best and I can't wait for the rest of the story ❤️❤️ 🦫🦫

Thank you my love, that means a lot to me. To be fair, those first few chapters were relatively shorter than the ones I've put out more recently and honestly, the story was still relatively simpler back then.

LMFAO I wasn't even thinking about male attendant stereotypes while writing that ngl

I want to pretend that some of these repeated lines were intentional artistic genius, but I have to admit that it is at least partially just me running out of things to say lmao.

I lowkey forget the drunk slow dancing scene exists but yeah that was for sure an insane moment of them

Polivia sounds like polio which sounds like a disease which makes sense...

But I don't think much happen in those one and half years, especially because they barely see each other the first half of it, since Azzi's not in the W yet and then their first year with both of them in the W is just very awkward, but every time they see each other other, Azzi especially, they miss each other.

Drew did everything in his power to stop that wedding lol

Olivia is valid in every single feeling she feels to be honest like that girl suffered for absolutely no mistake of her own

All they needed to fuck was a little bit of liquor and both of them single lol

Paige was either sulking and celibate of fucking every woman with a pulse that year but it's up to interpretation for y'all what happened the year after the divorce

Ahh I'm so glad you mentioned this because really I think a lot of how they behave only really starts to make sense after you've gotten all of the events and Linear anon putting the events in order makes it all make more sense. They're angry at each other because the argument is fresh and it's also easy for them to fall back into each other, because if we're being real, they already had relapsed a couple of time.

LMFAO yeah it took them literally a second which wasn't my original plan. I was gonna have a lot more back and forth but I also felt like they were in a place, where sort of going too fast just happened naturally and added to the conflict later on.

[katamarang-art]

Hi hi hi okay so I love your Wild Life Superhero AU and I found the art of Watcher (Grian, I'm guessing) and I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT HERE LEMME EXPLAIN.

Okay so first the pose is actually amazing. Watcher looks like he just dropped in on someone trying to mess with the thing that's now behind him.

And he looks dangerous. Like, do not mess with this guy you will die dangerous. His design is so amazing the purple is perfect (the lack of contrast works perfectly here) and the mask covering his face makes him look inhuman in the best way possible. We humans are wired to connect with facial expressions, and you've completely removed anything resembling a face in a way that somehow manages to be the right kind of creepy. It's *chef's kiss*.

The tatters on his cloak and the pose make him look...playful, almost? But not in the "Let's have fun" way, in the "You're in my world now" way. Yeah, that works. It is actually amazing.

And also just the image asks so many questions. Who is this person? What are they protecting? Why? What are they? Why is the viewer here? Why are there tatters on their cloak? Why the mask? What's the symbol on it? What even is this place? This is the kind of image that could be put on a cover to draw in readers.

Also it's not clear what genre we're in in this image and it's perfect. It fits with the mystery. Now, anyone who sees the context of this image knows it's a Superhero AU, but honestly that just makes it better. The image looks like it belongs in some kind of fantasy world, and that asks so many questions about the AU. How does the fantasy and the superheroes mix? Is this magic or something else? It just asks more questions.

Anyways I love this art and I'm really excited to see where you take this AU.

Aww thanks!

I love adding little details to pieces like these, especially in the composition or background.

I'm cooking up something big, I cant say when It'll be finished but I'm looking forward to it!

[kaz-oooo]

I know plenty of people don’t care about the current Dream situation (especially since I barely post about MCYT stuff anymore, especially anything DSMP related) but this man frustrates me to no end!!!

I’m gonna ramble about his shitty manipulation tactics for a bit. I’m gonna throw it all beneath a cut so you can scroll past easy if you aren’t interest.

I know basically everyone on this side of the internet knows Dream is a massive, manipulative twat. I doubt none of this will be a surprise to anyone. But idk, I present an incomplete list (in no particular order) of bullshit tactics Dream uses to twist the narrative in his favour!

1) making his first response on Reddit.

This is a place where only his most devoted fans congregate and most notably *not* where the controversy is occurring. If he wanted to properly apologise or address the situation he would do that in the exact same place the controversy occurred — his Twitter account. But of course he doesn’t want his fans to really know what’s going on, he wants to control the narrative, that’s why he has not said anything on Twitter, it’s why he went to Reddit of all fucking places!

2) doing everything within his power to avoid mentioning the controversy!

It’s unavoidable at times but he did spend a 3hr long stream avoiding the topic of the r-slur as much as humanly possible. Again, he wants to control the narrative and convince his fans to take his side, it’s easier to do that if he doesn’t address the actual problem at hand here — you see this a lot with YouTuber Apologies, you get a lot of “I made a severe and continuous lapse in judgement” type comments, but what is a “severe and continuous lapse in judgement”? — it could be anything from a few old tweets resurfacing or filming dead bodies… hard to say when you don’t already know the context.

3) bringing up old drama in an attempt to muddy the waters as much as possible.

Yes, Tubbo mentioned a handful of old controversies in his response to Dream’s tweets. Dream’s stream was a reaction to Tubbo’s and I’m not gonna blame him for mentioning these topics when they’re being brought up. The reason Tubbo mentions them is to provide further context around why he takes so much issue with Dream. Dream then proceeds to use this mentioned context as the crux of his response. As I mentioned in point 2 he avoids the topic of the r-slur as much as possible but he fixates on things like his drama with Quackity and Tommy and the accusations that he’s a groomer/pedophile. These aren’t relevant to the situation at hand and it just makes the whole 3hr stream more confusing!

4) he uses old drama as a way to garner sympathy for himself.

He mentions so many different controversies during that stream (and in his response to Tommy) and to an outside perspective it sounds like he’s being bombarded from all angles with wild accusations!! It makes him sound like the victim here, the one who is constantly under attack. He’s also been doxxed in the past and had false allegations thrown at him.. something he weaponises constantly and uses to further his victim complex.

5) deflecting blame as much as possible

I lost count of how many people he name dropped in that stream. But basically Dream isn’t to root of his own problems, he’s never done anything wrong in his life, it’s Tommy and Tubbo and Jack and Aimsey and Quackity and whoever else who hate him and are preying on his downfall (/sarcasm.) They are also bad people in their own right!! I very specifically remember him claiming that Tubbo was a bad person behind the scenes — did he show an ounce of evidence, of course not, but Tubbo’s awful guys trust him on this!! (/sarcasm again) he also did this in his immediate response when he mentioned having autism and thus being allowed to use the r-slur “it’s okay, I’m not problematic, I’m autistic and have a r-slur pass!”

6) feigning ignorance

In his Reddit post he claims to not understand the rules of slur reclamation. Maybe he doesn’t, idfk, but he knows that word is a slur and he knows he was using it as an insult… whether he understands the nuances of when that word is and is not okay is beside the point, at the very core of this controversy Dream was being an dickhead and that is what people have issue with.

Tommy mentions the sexist comments that were thrown around between Dream and his friends. Now as far as I’m away there’s no screenshots of these sexist comments, this is all word of mouth, things Tommy and Jack have repeatedly mentioned whenever Dream is a topic of conversation. I’ll be the first to admit I very blindly trust Tommy and Jack on this one, but I trust them because I can see how Dream and his friends act on stream and based on the way they present themselves I think they’re dodgy as fuck! I mean look at this entire post, at the way Dream consistently manipulates the truth and puts everyone else down.. those are behaviours that as consistent with misogynistic people, of course I believe Tommy when he says Dream and his friends said some sexist shit in group chats. But yes, this is word of mouth and Dream is using that to his advantage. He laughs and claims he has no idea what Tommy is talking about. Again, maybe he doesn’t, I don’t think many misogynistic people think they’re misogynistic, but Tommy isn’t pulling this out of his ass, these are claims he’s been making for months at this point!!

7) everyone’s doing this to promote their projects

This whole controversy did not begin to promote anything. Dream inserted himself in a random Twitter beef and blindsided everybody else with his bullshit. Yes, Tommy and Jack have proceeded to promote their own projects, in my personal opinion I don’t actually give a shit. I also didn’t care that Dream promoted his own shit during his video — Tommy mentioned it, Tommy made his own little ad, fuck it, Dream can too. What I will say though is that Dream criticises Tommy for doing this and in the same breath promotes his own merchandise which is rather hypocritical. I’d also argue that Dream’s merch plug is a lot slimier than Tommy and Jack’s because Dream starts trying to garner sympathy because his small, family business isn’t doing that well :((

8) takes everyone’s words out of context

Dream’s response to Tommy is entirely made of clips and screenshots that he cherry picks from. You can see this most clearly when he uses Tubbo’s words to support his own argument, using clips where Tubbo agrees that Dream has been unfairly criticised in the past and cutting out moments where Tubbo criticises him.

9) over exaggerates other people’s criticism.

When Tommy mentions that Dream harasses his mother Dream plays this up a lot. He sits there for 30 seconds telling the audience to picture what they think harassment is and to get ready for his grand reveal!! Of course when you see a single message it’s going to seem a little underwhelming. He ignores the fact Tommy’s mum was struggling through a divorce during that time and that this message is MASSIVE, unhinged, a criticism of her son and most importantly unsolicited. Even if it’s only a single message it’s still harassment.

10) he does not give context to his own arguments.

There’s one rant he goes on during his stream about a time Tommy started spreading false rumours amongst friends about somebody (unnamed) in the DSMP being a pedophile. Eventually Tommy is pulled aside by Wilbur who gives Tommy a big lecture about how those sorts of rumours can cause major problems and shows him how to properly handle them. What Dream neglects to mention is how old Tommy was at the time of this incident. That makes a big difference Y’know? Tommy doing this at age 16 is wildly different to Tommy doing this at age 20. Dream also mentions the fact Tommy used to be friends with Logan Paul before turning against him. Again, he refuses to give context here, he presents it like a massive backstab on Tommy’s part, or that Logan was a scumbag!

And there’s probably other shit as well. Lies and misinformation that I can’t possibly keep up with, nor do I even care to keep track of it!

Anyway. I’m going back to writing my dumbass fanfiction!

[lu-zijing]

WHAT THE ———-

WHAT THE HECK, SO THIS IS OFFICIAL ART AFTER ALL!!!!!!?✨✨

/ Soukoku discussion ahead:

Okay, no, I'm sorry, I've seen it before, this is old news, I know, but I kinda thought someone had edited them together, especially because many people said it looked like they had kissed - being very debatable whether or not it is just battle dust/wounds or actual traces of them kissing......

In my own opinion: Dazai's "scratch" is a bit weirdly placed- but Chuuya's does look more like a normal scratch.. But then again, why is it the only place both of them even have scratches on their face?? The rest of their faces are completely clean, have they even been in a battle? Wouldn't it be more realistic to have multiple small cuts, scratches, or at least some kind of dust or dirt then? - Like this: Which Chuuya had in the actual Dead Apple movie:

Could be an artistic choice for the Official art piece ofc, but then, Why do they just have that one scratch, both of them???

Yeah, okay I guess it isn't directly unrealistic to get just one scratch, but both?? Almost the same place??? Both scratches even look to be made the same way, if you look closely. At least they are drawn the same way - Either they just draw all scratches the same way, or this could mean they were from the same source. But ofc, we have no way of knowing, if that source is kissing, but it couuuld- Okay, yeah, mayybe I'm/we're overthinking it since the, well- ~ship~ But I can definitely see how the whole Idea started. I see it like this, it's probably some sort of actual scratch from battle, but it potentially being from a kiss, can't be completely ruled out either.

Here's a post from Reddit where someone pointed it out:

-Although in the start I thought, that's easy to add, it must be fanmade, looks like they used some scenes from Dead Apple, and... well..... yeah... Okay, I was likely a bit in denial at that point, even everyone around me talked about it as if it were Official.....

And just the fact that it says "HAPPY KISS!" in the text.... (( I am a Soukoku shipper, and now it's said- But Okay, I can be realistic - I can't speak Japanese, it's likely in some other context, but still, you can't help but let the thoughts run wild, and you know I'm right— And just.. The way Chuuya smiles so happily and innocently......!!! Chuuya please do that in the canon story as well— It kinda freaks me out a little though but still—

But... I don't know what to believe about this piece, to be honest. - Even if they actually turn out to be romantically involved with each other somehow, it doesn't mean they necessarily kissed in this specific art piece. It could, but it doesn't have to be. (Even if they haven't kissed I absolutely adore this art piece both as a neutral fan and a shipper..!!! The shipping is taking the upper hand though, that's just how it works, no point denying-))

And besides, would it really be hinted like this??

If it really was the Artist's/team behind this Official art piece's intention to make people think or doubt they kissed -if they actually HAD kissed- I bow in the dust to them- Damn-

It Would also mean that Chuuya and Dazai likely ALREADY have a relationship-!? In the course of the current timeline, I suppose. Which I imagine, is also one of many theories.

Like, I don't think an entire confession scene happened there, so if they kissed, it would have had to have been a thing already. Highly likely at least. Okay maybe I'm going too much into this now-

Personally, I would prefer to see a confession scene between them in the present, should they really come together romantically canonically.

But I certainly couldn't (or wouldn't!)) complain either if it turned out they have had a secret relationship this whole time-!! Imagine the reactions—--! Someone must have drawn that scenario already. Damn, I wanna see it now- If you wanna, feel freeee to draw it and mention me so I can see~~ I would praise you to the heavens, for reading this far, and even drawing it- *ahem* anyhow-

However unlikely, one can always dream — Dream with me if you would like~ ✨ 

And I hope you enjoyed reading this whole silly delightful thing!! Hopefully, you really did, if you read all the way down to here-! 😅 ✨  It became longer than expected-

But well! No matter what - So it WAS from an Official Magazine cover from Spoon-2di!! - These Magazines - Which I figured out was a thing after my last post, about what the heck the magazines were about - Now I know, MANY thanks to @originalaccountname ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ 

They really do have some amazing Official art, just the covers alone! Go check out my post that I linked, in it there are a good handful of them! Otherwise, just go Google "BSD Magazine covers" If You didn't know already, you will thank me later-!

Thanks for reading! Until next time-!

[stopper-my-heart]

Heartstopper library posters: Part 1/3

CW: Images and mentions of Ben Hope. No non-consensual physical touch is shown in the images but short descriptions of actions are given as part of describing the library meeting scene between Ben and Charlie in S1E1.

Yes, the library posters in Heartstopper are complicated enough to need multiple posts to attempt to unpack them.

How many layers are intentional? I can't say. All I can say is that the layers haven't stopped making sense yet.

Here in Part 1, we're taking a fairly straightforward approach to the quotations on the posters in S1E1 with a bit of cinematographic interpretation.

Let's get acquainted with the posters (text below, don't strain your eyes) --

We have:

"I am no bird and no net ensnares me" -- from Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë (photo 1, left, above)

"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance" -- from An Ideal Husband by Oscar Wilde (photo 2, middle, above)

"To thine own self be true" -- from Hamlet by William Shakespeare (photo 3, right, above)

----------

Here's the context of when we first see these posters, at the very beginning of S1E1:

As Charlie walks into school and enters the library to meet Ben (who doesn't show up that time), he walks in between the first two posters to get to their meeting spot.

The third poster ("To thine own self be true") remains out of focus during this trip to the library. It partially comes into view when Charlie arrives at his and Ben's meeting spot (photo 1, left, below).

After Charlie checks his phone and sees Ben's text ("actually can we meet up at break instead?"), when we then see him start to type his reply, a little bit more of the poster becomes visible (photo 2, middle, below).

The poster's quotation is only fully visible (but still out of focus) once Charlie has sent his text ("okay 😊❤️") (photo 3, right, below). Note that this also corresponds with the start of Headmaster Stephen Fry's announcement reminding students about the new vertical form groups.

It seems like the poster is acknowledging that Charlie's not fully ready to admit to himself the truth of what's happening with Ben or to stand up for himself, but that he's maybe getting closer (or the poster's trying to help, anyway). If nothing else, the poster seems to be gently calling Charlie out, especially with the text he sent. We can see by Charlie's face (photo 3 above) that even he doesn't believe it's "okay 😊❤️".

(Maybe the poster is also indicating hope: hope for the new form group and a certain someone Charlie might meet there, someone who will want Charlie to be true to himself.)

----------

When Charlie and Ben finally do meet in the library later in S1E1, we again see Charlie walk in between the first two posters. Charlie and the posters begin fuzzy and come into focus together. "I am no bird and no net ensnares me"* is especially prominent.

*Note that the full sentence this quotation comes from is: "I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will, which I now exert to leave you." More on this in future posts.

This time the third poster ("To thine own self be true") is also in focus, though partially out of frame (photo 1, left, below). Ben's head moves to block some of it and then the camera angle shifts a bit so that the poster is fully obscured behind Charlie while his and Ben's index fingers are interlocked (photo 2, right, below).

After Charlie looks at the smiley face Nick drew on his hand, a little bit of the text of the third poster is again visible in between Charlie and Ben, but it's in the background, out of focus. As Ben kisses Charlie, the words are once again blocked by Ben's head.

Clearly these posters are trying harder and harder to Talk To Charlie -- they want him to love himself, believe he's worth more than how Ben is treating him, be honest with himself and act accordingly, and break free from Ben -- and they finally succeed. Seemingly later on the same day is when Charlie breaks up with Ben.

[katemagic]

okay once again time for some cherry magic th thoughts lmao but I'm thinking about the show's emphasis on comfort and how it's really interesting in the context of a character whose main deal (so far) is being in unrequited love with achi

bc I think it's so easy to get swept up in how we do hear karan's thoughts and therefore specifically how a;ldkfja;lkds wild his behavior is re: achi (researching cakes for a month!! buying bespoke pajamas for achi to wear at some point!! perfecting cooking eggs to make him breakfast one day!!) that it's sometimes hard to remember that, at least at this point in the story, if we remove all that and just look at his actual behavior towards achi he really.... isn't being intense or weird at all? what makes achi uncomfortable isn't karan's behavior in and of itself, it's that he knows the intention behind it which, yes, admittedly is very intense and uhaul-y

but it really is only when achi hears something he shouldn't that he feels that discomfort. like for example in this week's episode, achi reflects at the start on how he's getting comfortable with karan and feeling really happy in his presence (and we as the viewer can interpret that he's becoming aware and comfortable with liking him romantically, even if he says in that scene that he's not really sure what his feelings fully mean yet) but when he hears karan like "ah married life <3", THAT'S when he freaks out and puts distance between them. which makes sense looking at it from achi's perspective and understanding that his brain is a Complex Space (and I have additional thoughts about achi's perspective on events lmao that I should probably put in a different post) and also understanding like... it is an intense thing!! karan has a lot of intense feelings given they have not even been on a date yet and literally seem to have even only started regularly speaking recently al;jdksk;lad but it's also not something achi is supposed to know, because karan ISN'T actually being forward with him about his feelings at all with him or, IMO, crossing any lines

like the reason karan invites achi to stay with him at the end of ep 1 isn't motivated by anything sinister- we see him thinking in his head like "it'll probably take him an hour to get home, then he has to shower, and he won't get a good night's sleep" and that's why he asks him. he literally even treats saying goodnight to achi and lowering his sleep mask as some kind of transgression to be forgiven? like at every single turn in the show he is so worried about making achi uncomfortable and feels immense guilt over it when he perceives that he has made achi uncomfortable- we don't see his thoughts when they're directed to kiss during the game at the restaurant, but he doesn't look particularly thrilled (bless tay tawan for his perfect unreadable karan expressions) and he stops it as soon as he can tell achi is afraid (and says "please excuse me" in his head before kissing achi's forehead instead). he even feels guilty for defending achi against the guys trying to attack him in episode 3, chastising himself for inserting himself into achi's business and, again, for making him uncomfortable. in episode 5, he sees how he's being jealous and unfair and, again, immediately chastises himself for thinking those thoughts. while doing my ~research for this post I truly was kind of shocked at how frequently karan uses the word uncomfortable to talk about how he perceives himself as making achi feel, and it's a really sad aspect to the show, but also very interesting one

...alright this is long let me put the rest under a cut lmao

like I think it's a really fascinating thing about his character, that he does really care about achi's comfort beyond all else and is CONSTANTLY beating himself up when he feels he's crossed a line. after the kiss dare thing which literally is in no way his fault, he feels awful about how scared achi looked and says that he's the person who makes achi feel the most uncomfortable, and apologizes in his head to achi for falling for him because if he hadn't, achi wouldn't be uncomfortable, and like... that is so fucking sad!!! he's literally punishing himself for his thoughts that he isn't even acting on and the love he feels that he can't control. and honestly I am fascinated by the show including him saying "no guy would be comfortable kissing another guy" in the rooftop scene after the game- it's clearly a way to make the situation less weird and sort of give achi an out, IMO, to not have to discuss it or make it a thing like yeah!! of course no guy would want to do that!! but it is interesting in terms of the show not shying away from homophobia being a thing (and I have a LOT of thoughts about how a lot of karan's reaction to his feelings and behaviors towards achi and how extremely cautious he is could be read as having to do with internalized homophobia but this is already SO long lmao) and also how, again, he emphasizes comfort in his response

but I think the thing that is extremely sweet is that despite alllllll of achi's reservations and insecurities and stresses in the start w/r/t karan's feelings for him, when he hears karan feeling awful about making achi uncomfortable at the end of ep 2, he tells him about his inexperience and explicitly tells him that he isn't uncomfortable with the idea of kissing him. he admits something that he at the very least thinks makes him Uncool to the person he thinks is the most perfect guy in the world just because it clearly feels so wrong to him that karan feels guilt over something he shouldn't feel guilty for, because I do think on some level achi does realize that what's making him uncomfortable isn't really anything outward that karan is doing. at the end of episode 3 when karan puts distance between them by not sitting by him on the bus, achi again recognizes that karan's doing it because he thinks he's made achi uncomfortable, contemplates whether he IS actually uncomfortable, and realizes that he isn't. that he's actually very happy that karan sees him and cares for him and views him in this incredibly loving light that achi doesn't view himself. and so, similar to the end of episode 2, he takes a step towards him and tells karan to sit by him and they have that whole lovely moment, and I think this shows a lot of bravery on achi's part too, and a lot of care for him as well. achi is genuinely the person who makes the most moves which is FASCINATING to me.

I could go On and On but there's just this wonderful repeated emphasis on both of their parts to not want to make each other feel bad or uncomfortable and doing all of these little things to take care of each other, and how they're both being very brave despite having reasons not to be because they care about each other that much, and that is simply very beautiful to me and I feel a lot of things about it!!

[raceweek]

Hey what happened in the 2020 season with Alex? (Sorry new fan and still learning)

omg you never need to apologise to me for not knowing things i literally know nothing

the 2020 season from the alexnation perspective was like being in a hamster ball being hurled around for 5 months straight basically but here’s the breakdown:

so for context 2019 was really really good for alex he was promoted as a rookie and he shunted a fair few times and most of the time wasn’t on maxs quali pace but red bull were the third quickest team so he wasn’t expected to win or anything. alex ultimately beat pierres points tally from his 12 races in the red bull within 7 as a rookie so like. whilst it was insane behaviour for red bull to promote him in the first place he did perform phenomenally

then we turn to 2020 pre season testing. mercedes was dominant as per (dreamy sigh) and the red bull was quick but looked. edgy. for both alex and max but ferrari were fucking nowhere so it was still like really positive for red bull bc it was basically two extra places gained and then. global pandemic. and then as a footnote to the whole you know. global pandemic. sebastian vettel was dumped from the love island villa (ferrari (everyone gasped))

and then! triple header one and the first race in austria had max running an upgraded front wing and none for alex and it was like understood i think like it wasn’t a big deal at the time

and then everything that could have possibly happened. happened. in the race and alex and lewis…yeah. but the world did in fact keep spinning!

and then alex got p4 in the second austria race (altho. significantly off of maxs pace in p3 for sureee) and everyone was like if only max had a rear gunner (wistful) which in my opinion is an insult to lewis and the w11 but whatever. nothing else really happened here other than horner and marko making kissy faces at seb during this time but that’s just contextfkdkd

so then the next race in hungary alex qualified p13 and even though max only qualified p7 and it was the third race of the season alex was getting eaten alive and george was on live tv like red bull are making him look like an idiot and he’s not an idiot and they need to fix it for him and it was like fucking hell what is going ONNN we haven’t even made it to the third race yet (like imagine anyone coming out and declaring this after australia quali this year like. wild scenes)

so then one week break and then triple header two started and during the races at silverstone they start talking in the media about when the best time to demote alex is even though the only times he’d finished outside the top six was brazil 2019 and austria 2020 which. pls consult youtube if you need further info here

they also changed alexs race engineer in silverstone so More turbulence altho completely welcome this time (simon rennie come back we love u, ur so sexc haha x)

then during the final triple header 2 race in barcelona he gets put on the most ass strategy known to man like with context this was criminal behaviour actually

and then one week break and then triple header 3 starts (do you feel like a hamster yet) at spa and unbeknownst to us all at the time but later confirmed by will buxton and dts horner is in the mf pitlane in spa propositioning seb like one more year and then you can come home which. have some decorum alex is behind you in the garage. but anyway in the general media everyone was gagging for pierre’s red bull return so there were bigger fish

anyway. SPA. they did this to my boy

and alex made the best out of it but as per the comeback kid episode of dts that everyone loves (🙃) alex was made out to be useless and it was like. wtf did you expect

THEN between spa and monza helmut marko was like oh btw alex hasn’t actually had the same parts as max for most races this year okay bye and alexnation was like…wtf. but then no one else really cared and it was like UMMM OKAY

and then monza happened and alex was in a first lap sandwich involving pierre and then second lap crashed into grosjean (alexs fault - live laugh love x) and had a huge chunk of his floor missing so finished p nowhere and then. pierre won and good for her i guess but then ex drivers were on live tv demanding alex step down for pierre which like no one has ever done this in the history of the sport as far as im aware so it was fucking savage especially when this was the first race alex had finished outside of the points for red bull in (with the exception of the two aforementioned events)

and then mugello wooooooooooooo!! alexs first podium!!!!!! i was gassed at the time but it was sort of sad looking back like if you listen to his team radio across the line from getting p7 in canada and then compare it to his first podium in mugello it’s. yeah! we were enduring it!!

and then sochi happened in its own weird bubble and alex was nowhere really got caught behind carlos hitting the wall at the first corner after a poor quali and that was that

then. triple header number four starts with horner giving alex an ultimatum of we’re backing you but we want results in the next three races or ur finished hunny which. okay

then first race of the triple header max ends up blocking alex in his quali run (live laugh love 2.0 x) and then:

YEAH

nurburgring was the they race me so hard incident. available to view elsewhere bc god knows im not reliving that!!

imola was again nightmarish. red bull media team said alex was working with a mental coach (patrick his trainer had got mental health qualifications basically) and was supporting him etc which. here comes paul di resta live on air laughing about how max wouldn’t need mental support. it was once again. brutal. especially bc he was getting a load of xenophobic abuse online already like fuck off

back on the track alex basically spun on his own but thought he had been hit and no one thought to tell him before he went into the media pen that he hadn’t actually been hit so it was fucking awkward and yeah twitter was brutal again

then istanbul happened. red bull looked promising but both max and alex finished well off so it was just whatever really lewis did a madness no one really cared about red bull

then final three races of the season started with the grosjean crash in bahrain which ended with alex on the podium and then checo won sakhir and alex wasn’t really there and then we were at the final race in abu dhabi where red bull officially signed checo (as confirmed by will buxtons analysis of the curtains. god i can’t believe this season was real)

but alex didn’t find out for like two weeks later when the season was well and truly over and was taking drinks to the factory for everyone and it was heartbreaking and then he didn’t have a seat and spent the next year saying it killed him so. yeah…TA-DA

[dreamcatcher-roulette]

Can I admit to something? Is this a K-pop safe space? It's not drama it's just deeply personally embarrassing.

So there’s two halves to this. The relevance of both might become apparent some time before I finish rambling and get to the point but bear with me. I'm desperately trying to justify my situation.

Firstly. I'm a girl group fan. Dreamcatcher are easily and effortlessly in a tier of their own but I do enjoy and even keep up some other girl groups rather attentively. The obvious follow up question here is well, what about boy groups? Here is a collection of excuses I have previously attempted to offer up in my own defence:

Musically, I like bass and I like high notes. This kind of lends itself to prefering female vocalists, but, as I may have mentioned before, I'm not actually into K-pop that much for the music (Dreamcatcher just happen to also make the music that fits my taste perfectly on top of having the best aesthetics).

Boy group fashion kind of blows. I mean, I have high and somewhat unrealistic expectations for any stage outfits due to the standard Dreamcatcher set, but Jesus Christ the baggy pants epidemic amongst boy groups is something else. Mens fashion can be fun. I think it frequently isn't for the stages I have seen though.

The boy group hair meta also kinda blows. I'm perfectly capable of realising when something just isn't catered to me (and may well have cultural context that's flying directly over my head) and the bowl cut adjacent curtains look that's almost a default hairstyle is one of those things. Just cannot get behind it. Sorry to all the enjoyers.

And now, even though there is truth in all of those excuses, here's the actual reason why I'm making such broad, sweeping statements about an extremely diverse subgroup of artists:

K-pop is an industry that loves to feed on parasocial relationships, and I am gay in the direction that makes me immune to girlfriend fanservice but really fucking succeptible to the right boyfriend fanservice. So long as I keep pretending every boy group sucks I am safe. If I get sucked into one of them it will probably just straight up ruin my life.

Okay. Secondly. Many years ago when I was still in high school my neighbour got really into K-pop. She was a big fan of EXO, and then, this new up and coming group called BTS (anyone heard of them?) She tried, unsuccessfully, to get me to share her passion multiple times. Of the videos she showed me, these are the ones that made an impact:

LEDApple - Time is up

SHINee - Ring Ding Dong

BIGBANG - Fantastic Baby

I liked them enough to watch them on my own a few times, but that was the end of it, until in 2020 I got recommended Scream on YouTube and the rest is history. However, one of the things that amused me getting into K-pop myself was realising 2/3 of those songs reached somewhat legendary status in the time since. Even being a GG fan news from the "other side" certainly still flies across the river, sometimes with recognition, e.g. G-Dragon's semi recent drug "scandal". I remember seeing those articles and thinking huh. Wild. That's what he looks like now. It is at this point I would like you to imagine a bullet narrowly missing my head as I'm looking the other way.

On to the present. I watched MAMA 2024 live nearly 2 months ago. I like the end of year shows. My only complaint is they should invite Dreamcatcher lmao (thank you AAA 2023 that performance still lives rent free in my head) but overall, great fun. Now I must confess, for the aforementioned reasons, I always* mute boy group performances when watching shows live. Happy to critique the fashion, don't want the songs stuck in my head, which is an inevitable outcome of listening to music whether you like it or not (and I'm well aware some of it is probably good).

*Technically I have one exception in either direction, but both are irrelevant to the point.

As you may be aware, G-Dragon performed at MAMA. Everyone seemed pretty hyped. Normally this would have been a mute for me but well, momentous occasion isn't it. The king of K-pop is back. Might as well get the full experience. And it was good! I'm not exactly a fan but I did have enough nostalgia for fantastic baby to appreciate the bigbang stage, and watching all the idols freak out was so adorable. I want you to imagine three more bullets narrowly missing me while I'm looking at the aespa reaction shot.

Like, you're probably aware of where this is heading, right? But it wasn't even the stage. AFTER the stage they still had to give him the award they made up for him being there. And man. Okay. All the actual real life crushes I've had on men that I knew started out having very little if anything to do with their appearance. I'm ace so maybe that changes it but also I don't think that's exclusively it because I'm not the only person I've ever heard say that people you are attracted to become more attractive in some kind of self enforcing feedback loop. Thats why the K-pop content vortex is so brutal because as soon as you're in the variety content rabbit hole suddenly you don't just have some guy who is pretty you have some guy who is funny or thoughtful or he likes all of your favourite movies and you start feeling like you know him, even though you don't. I know that the force of that connection if you let it happen easily overpowers the baggy clothes and the shitty haircut and every other flimsy excuse but given only a muted performance stream or occasional acceptance speech there is not enough room for that personality to break through. I can watch Dreamcatcher accept an award and I see them because I've watched hundreds of hours of vlogs at this point but groups I don't know are just that. Groups I don't know.

Yeah. So about that music visionary of the year.

Holy shit man. I've never seen anyone get up and accept an award with such fucking weird and awkward vibes. I think I was gone from the moment he reached the podium. I said to the friend I was watching the stream with hey. I think maybe I should turn this one off actually. And she said no :) Because she is evil. You know how sometimes a single event can recontextualise over a decade of vaguely knowing about someone's existence? Head in my hands. Of all people. G-Dragon is really fucking attractive. Which is like. In twenty twenty four? Really? Profoundly humiliating discovery. What am I even supposed to do with this one? It's literally G-Dragon. I know there are discourse minefields the likes of which I cannot even fathom wading into this and what am I anyway? A fan? I don't think so. I saw one singular awards show and went holy shit why is G-Dragon the hottest K-pop man by actually one hundred thousand miles and then I just had to go to work again the next morning and be normal. And the thing is that I was not even remotely normal because I then decided to dye my hair bright red the following week which to be fair I have always wanted to do but well it's not UNrelated to the current crisis is it. I'm just. Existing. Really thought maybe it would wear off by now but WELL. It has not.

[aro-culture-is]

Aroallo culture is constantly feeling like a degenerate

I have... more than a few things to say on this topic, but I will restrain myself to the two major points that have caused me to delay posting this.

For one: Internalized sex negativity ahoy!

In all honesty? I genuinely do not understand how sexual attraction without romantic attraction (or any other form of attraction, really) is supposed to be bad. I genuinely cannot tell you how wild it is to think that sexual attraction, one of the instincts that has generally been selected for among all sexual species similar to us, is somehow... morally incorrect? How much must we hate ourselves, see ourselves as the monster in a bedtime story, for the invisible Thought Crime of feeling like another person is attractive? It's okay. Literally the only "bad" is if your actions in response to a feeling are performed in malice or cause harm, and even then there's nuance that requires thought and communication, not mind-reading and assuming others will be disgusted.

Sincerely, please please please look into sex positivity. Read about it. Follow sex positive accounts, movements, and people. Let yourself feel in response, and ask yourself what does and does not speak with you. Engage in the topic. You don't have to believe it right away, but I promise you, it is well worth your time to expose yourself to resources that teach you another perspective that does not demonize the vast majority of the world in some strange and non-productive way, producing shame and little to show for it.

Secondly... degeneracy.

What a very, very loaded word. To summarize some points from Wikipedia, in terms of fact: the concept of degeneracy in this usage originates from the 19th century theory of social degeneration. The concept of heredity had yet to be fully understood in social degeneration's 18th century development, and this movement largely believed that habits of parents changed their child's biology. This, in turn, was used to explain a perceived decline in civilization. It took little time for the theory to appear in medical and zoological works, with the intent to explain why different ethnic groups exist. You may recognize this concept by a directly related one: eugenics.

The theory of degeneracy first grew fame when used to explain racial differences, and quickly spread from the medical field to psychiatry (ie, mentally ill individuals will produce more severely mentally ill children, and therefore should not continue their lineage) and criminology (particularly when combined with phrenology). It was associated with authoritarian political attitudes such as militarism, scientific racism, and support for eugenics. The development of degenerate theory both partially predates and partially follows the works of Gregor Mendel in describing the theory of evolution, and frankly, largely based its so-called scientific backing on incorrect understandings of evolution and poor science, using such understandings to prop up eugenicist beliefs.

Why do I say all this? I think it is very, very important to recognize the sociopolitical bullshit that props up the absolute pseudoscience that social degeneracy revolves around, and to state that anyone who truly believes in degeneracy does not actually have the best interest of other's in mind or heart except that of the current in-groups. if people in your life are using these theories and words, I want to empower you with knowledge that they are, scientifically and historically, very much in the wrong. I want you to be able to look at their words, and understand the context behind their beliefs, even if they themselves do not.

also, real talk: if you can, form other social networks. join a club, play social games, go to community events, anything it takes to experience people outside of those who give you this message. it'll do wonders for you to build social circles outside of that stuff.

tl;dr:

the origins of the theory behind the word "degenerate", as used today, are scientifically bullshit, politically and socially motivated, and largely were used to justify eugenics. i would recommend not trusting people who genuinely believe in degeneracy to have anyone's best interest at heart but their own, and that you are perfectly normal and fine as you are.