#ok took me about 4 months to get over it lmao

[star-girl69]

Too Sweet

Caroline (KK) Harvey x Fem!Reader

—-

synopsis: a niche celebrity yourself, you and caroline try to keep your relationship private and secret- despite the rumors circling. but secrets come out when you’re on live.

a/n: this MIGHT be the worst thing i have ever written… anyways 😍 from this ask, i hope you all enjoy!!

Too Sweet - Hozier

warnings: reader cries like twice, i took this and ran w it lmao, hmmm like hurt/comfort, mentions of sex, kissing, the whole shabang, swearing, pretty chill but suggestive at times so lmk if i missed anything!!

—-

“Oh, my God!” You shout, sitting up in your girlfriend’s bed, blankets slipping off of you. She groans next to you, head falling off of your shoulder and arm still around your waist.

“I was asleep,” she complains.

“Look!” You shout, shaking her slightly as you shove your phone in her face.

Caroline, your very wonderful and very sleepy girlfriend who claims naps just aren’t the same if you’re not in bed with her, blinks a few times as her eyes adjust. You unpause the Tik Tok video, and the song plays, some emotion forming in her eyes that you can’t quite name. The sound starts looping again, and you shake your phone.

“See? It’s an edit! Of me!!”

She smiles. “Oh, wow, baby. You’re really famous now, huh?” Your stomach twists as she watches the edit in total adoration, pupils blown despite her sleepy eyes. It’s just a clips of you from screen recorded lives or Tik Tok’s from someone on the team, but you can’t help but be happy anyways.

You don’t want that whole famous thing, the spotlight and the pressure- you’re just glad your girlfriend is getting the attention she deserves. She’s the most talented person you know- an Olympian, for God’s sake.

“I like this,” she smiles. “It’s cute. Send it to me.”

You laugh but send it anyways, your eyes catching on the small text that says 12 comments.

Nobody knows you and Caroline are dating. At least, the fans don’t. After Caroline started coming to fame and Laila followed, the Badgers become sort of a social media hotspot. They were all talented and hilarious- they deserved it.

You’ve only been dating Caroline for a few months, but you’d been friends with her for years before that- always teetering on the edge of something more. In fact, the first time you were ever brought up was people questioning who you were in the background of lives- questioning if you were dating someone on the team.

Caroline did love her fans a lot, she often ranted about how cool is was being able to share her life with people and how amazing it was to be an inspiration to so many young girls who feel discriminated in sports, but the talk of introducing you to them hasn’t quite come up yet.

Maybe you’re still in the honeymoon phase. Maybe all the people who deserve to know- your friends and family- are the people who already know.

user-1 ok who tf is she. seriously like i love her but WHO

user-2 @/user-1 her name is y/n!! she doesn’t play for the badgers but she’s friends w all of them and hangs out w them a lot

user-1 i heard a rumor she’s dating kk… i would actually go crazy.

user-4 ok she’s pretty but like kk and i are married sooooo

user-3 i don’t even think she’s that pretty tbh

user-2 um ok wow wtf did she do to you

user-3 nothing i just don’t think she’s that pretty

user-3 if she is dating kk then kk could do a lot better (cough me cough)

You can’t help but frown, reading the words over and over again.

“What?” Caroline asks, cupping your hand with her own to angle the screen towards her. She turns from half-asleep to wide awake in seconds. “They don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about.”

You turn your phone off and let it drop onto the blankets, turning towards KK. She sits up immediately, putting both of her hands on your face- but you can’t quite meet her eyes.

“Hey, hey. Don’t listen to them. Look at me. Please. Don’t listen to them.”

“I’m not,” you say after a moment, eyes still shut. “It’s fine. I just… don’t get it.”

“You’re the most beautiful girl in the world, and you’re all I’ve wanted for years. And now that I finally have you, I’m not letting you go. And I’m not letting you get it in your head that you’re not good enough for me- because you are.”

You don’t notice a tear has fallen down your face until she’s kissing it away.

“You’re perfect,” she says, with an air of finality you can’t help but smile at. “I love you. Don’t think otherwise. Of course, if you need some reassurance I’m always down to tell you how much I love you.”

“Thank you, KK,” you whisper, softly clearing your throat as you’re finally able to meet her eyes. “I love you, too.”

All you can do is think about when she won the NCAA championship last year, when she was high off of the win and came out of the locker room to find you- smiling so brightly and gushing about how good she had played- and all she did was smile at you, grab your face, and kiss you so hard you got tilted back onto an axis you didn’t even know you were knocked off of.

And suddenly, with her lips on yours, everything in the world felt right. And it’s felt right since then. It feels right now, 4 months into your relationship, with Caroline holding your face and kissing your tears away.

“Maybe we shouldn’t tell them,” she whispers, kind of blurts it out. “I-I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and, well, this kinda sealed it. I don’t want them to get in your head, like this. I… just want you all to myself, really.”

You laugh, and she smiles back, her eyes moving from your lips to the bridge of your nose to your eyes.

“Won’t keeping it a secret be kinda annoying?”

“I mean, not being able to show you off will suck, but if it means you don’t cry about stupid people again then I’ll do it.”

“Okay, then. We don’t have to tell them.”

“Exactly.” She kisses you, once, like she’s sealing a promise between the two of you. “Besides, nothing about you is ever annoying.”

—-

The edit of you ended up going kind of viral, and then more and more were made, until suddenly you had 2000 followers on Tik Tok and hundreds of private messages begging you to go live with the team, or film some kind of video, or do anything.

The first thing you ever posted was a simple get ready with me, and that received so much support you did another one, and then you did a day in the life- that one featured Caroline, so it went very viral- and suddenly you went live one night, and then it all just kinda fell into place.

There was nothing more exciting then getting another sweet comment or message telling you how much they looked forward to your videos, or absolutely hilarious comments people would leave under your posts.

But, with your own social media fame skyrocketing and Caroline’s still staying strong- she was right. They did judge you, they did get into your head.

And they weren’t dumb, you quickly realized. This sort of abstract group of people you called “they” and listened to, they knew something was happening.

There were three instances that caused the fans to guess you and Caroline were more than just friends.

—-

The girls decided to have another movie night, and all of you were laying lazily about the couches and the floor, Laila on live showing off her fabulous singing skills yet again, and you were sitting with KK on the couch.

You weren’t even that close to each other. Your thighs touched, sure, and she had her arm around her shoulder- but she kept it back, so it was more so on the back of the couch and not touching you. But, her comforting presence was there, and that was enough for you.

Someone had paused the movie a while ago, and it had turned more into a hangout session that was filled with obnoxious singing and laughter.

“I should probably go soon,” you muttered to KK.

“Why?” She frowned, pressing her leg into yours.

“I have a test tomorrow morning, I should go to bed soon.”

You still whispered to each other, even though the room was pretty loud.

“You sure you don’t wanna sleep over? I’ll drive you over in the morning.”

She was always trying to get you to sleep at her apartment. Or just be at her apartment in general- sometimes, you would hang out at their place while they had practice and make dinner for them, and KK would jokingly call you her wife and thank you for having dinner on the table.

You have to cross your legs when she wraps her arms around you and kisses your cheek, saying “thank you, my wonderful wife.”

“I wanna be in my own bed, K.”

She leans in, closer to you so her lips are ghosting over your ear. “My bed is your bed, baby.”

She leaves a kiss to the shell of your ear, pulling away with a small smile on her face and you can feel your cheeks heat. And she knows the reaction she has on you, and she’s very proud of it.

You smile. “I’m sorry, Caroline. Not tonight, okay?”

“Are you sure?” She asks, hand playing with the hair at the back of your head. You turn to her, amused smile on your face she can’t take her eyes away from.

“I am one thousand percent sure that I don’t want to go to your place tonight.”

“You’re no fun,” she teases.

“I’m plenty of fun,” you gasp, faking offense with a hand over your chest. She takes her arm off of your shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you gonna prove that? ‘Cause I don’t think I believe you.”

“I think I proved that Friday night.” You place your hand on her chest, fingertip drawing patterns on her collarbone. She visibly swallows. “You remember?”

“Fuck yeah I remember, but I still think you should show me again.”

“Fuck!” Laila suddenly shouts, and you whip around only to find her frantically clicking buttons on her phone before simply throwing it across the room.

The chatter stops. Ava, another girl on the team, picks the phone up from where it’s fallen by her feet and looks at it.

“Um, what was that for?” She asks, and you can see the live ended screen on Laila’s phone.

“I’m so sorry,” Laila says. “They heard you.”

Your eyes widen. “The thing about Friday night?”

“I don’t know! I wasn’t listening to you, what the fuck were you even saying? I just looked at the comments and suddenly everyone was asking who KK was talking to, and like, ‘wow, KK is so hot.’”

Caroline rolls her eyes. “Okay, whatever. That could have been about anything.”

“Caroline,” you mutter. “It’s pretty obvious it was about sex.”

“Okay, shush,” Laila says, holding her hands out. “First of all, why are you doing that when we’re all in the room? Second, oh, my God I am so sorry.”

You sigh, cracking your knuckles. Caroline immediately grabs one of your hands. “It’s not your fault, Lai. It’s fine- I mean, if we ignore it then they’ll probably just stop talking about it. Right?”

“Probably,” Laila agrees. “They’ll forget about it tomorrow. Hopefully it doesn’t end up in the edits.”

You can’t help but laugh. If you don’t laugh, you might cry.

@/user-1 here’s the screen recording!! side note: i NEED to know who kk was talking to at the end.

> View 102 commets

user-2 wait what do they say at the end

user-3 @/user-2 basically kk and another girl are just flirting like crazy

user-4 @/user-3 they could still be friends

user-3 @/user-4 um no that was gay as hell

user-5 WHAT HAPPENED FRIDAY NIGHT KK PLS PICS OR IT DIDNT HAPPEN

user-6 @/user-5 EXACTLY

—-

Your voice felt a little scratchy, and you couldn’t stop coughing- you had been screaming so hard during the entire game that you’re sure you’re going to wake up without a voice tomorrow.

The Badgers just won the last game they needed to win- the qualifying game for the Frozen Four tournament. This was the third year in a row Caroline had gone to the championships, and by the way a huge dog pile had formed on the ice when the buzzer went off- everyone was just a little excited.

You waited as patiently as you could outside of the locker room, but you found yourself again fidgeting with your hands and walking back and forth. All you could think about was just kissing Caroline so hard you saw stars, and telling her how good she did.

You closed your eyes for a moment, finally leaning back against the wall as you thought back to the goal she had scored. Maybe it was weird, but there was honestly nothing sexier to you than watching Caroline in her element like that.

Hockey was where she shined, where she was her truest self- and not only was it exhilarating to watch her in general, but she also looked really good doing it.

The door finally creaked open and your cheeks burned from smiling too hard, all of the Badgers coming out of the locker room and running to great their own friends and family who had gathered outside. It took a second for her face to appear in the line of people exiting, she was laughing with Laila and a few other girls about something, she was smiling just as wide as you were and, God, she looked so pretty.

When she saw you, it wasn’t possible for her smile to get bigger, but her smile changed. Suddenly, you felt so loved just by the way she was looking at you.

You practically ran across the room, half jumping into her arms, pressing yourself as close to her as you could. You kissed her nose as you wrapped your arms around her neck, and her hands ran along down your arms to your shoulders, then down your sides to finally hold onto your hips.

“Holy shit,” she said, smiling, still kind of in disbelief.

“I am so, so, so fucking proud of you, baby.”

Her eyes search all across your face, almost like she’s taking in every inch of this moment. You know that she’s been looking forward to this moment since the buzzer went off- her weird pleasure is that she thinks you’re so hot when you’re supporting her- and she drinks in everything about you like she’s trapped in a dessert and you’re water.

She doesn’t need to say thank you, because the way she kisses you, hands squeezing your hips even closer to her, hard and unrelenting and depriving you of air but you can’t think about anything else when she gets like this with you, is more than enough.

She kisses you like she’s starved, and there’s nothing else you love more than this moment with her.

When she does finally pull away, panting slightly but still chuckling at the way you’re literally about to pass out from lack of air- that’s the one shitty thing about her endurance, you swear she’s gonna kill you with kisses- she presses her forehead against yours.

“Thank you,” she breathes. “Thank you. I love you, Y/N. I love you so much.”

There’s a few tears in her eyes.

Laila suddenly appears next to the two of you, her 6’1 frame quite literally casting a shadow over the two of you and your happy moment.

“We’re having a moment, Laila,” KK groans, but she’s smiling so hard.

“Great, some rando is taking a video, though.”

“Fuck.”

> View 236 comments

user-1 IS THAT CAROLINE HARVEY? IS THAT CAROLINE HARVEY KISSING A GIRL??

user-2 kk harvey girl kisser confirmed… this is a win

user-3 KK HOW COULD U CHEAT ON ME

user-4 @/user-3 KK THE KIDS MISS UUUUU

user-5 ok but appreciation for the hand placement.

user-6 @/user-5 THE WAY SHES KISSING HER??? LIKE A WOMAN STARVED??? that’s a hozier kinda kiss bro

user-7 @/user-6 would do anything to be in that girls place rn

user-8 can’t tell very well from this angle but i think the other girl is wearing a harvey jersey!! how cute

user-9 ok but the way laila blocks the camera from seeing them… that’s my wifey right there

user-10 absolutely obsessed with the way kk covers the other girls face when they walk away

user-11 @/user-10 we love a protective gf

user-12 don’t mind me just watching this video for the hundredth time

user-13 okay am i going crazy or is that y/n l/n??

—-

“Ok, hi Live. Y/N, say hi to the live.”

“Hi guys!” You smiled at the camera, keeping your eyes fixed on the boiling pot of pasta you were currently stirring.

“What are you guys making?” Laila reads, before shoving the camera yet again in your face.

“Okay, calm down,” you scold, setting aside your spoon and grabbing her phone. “Don’t bother me while I’m dealing with dangerous liquids.”

“It’s water,” Laila deadpans.

“Boiling water.”

Laila rolls her eyes but doesn’t give a verbal response, so you just smile and switch the camera around.

“Okay so, as you can see we’ve got some pasta boiling and some veggies and chicken cut up, and then we’re gonna cook that, and like… yeah.”

You look back towards the comments, most of them asking for KK. You decide to be nice, looking around the apartment and finding that your girlfriend is nowhere to be found.

“Carolineeeee,” you call, stretching out her name. “The people want to see you!”

The door to her bedroom creaks open, and she walks out carrying a hoodie. “What?”

“Laila went live,” you explain, flipping the camera around. “Okay, smile! Give us a little wave!”

user-1 y/n is so mom core

KK gives you a bored look, but begrudgingly puts on a very fake smile and waves.

“Aww how cute! What’s the hoodie for?” You ask, turning the camera back around and doing a few poses for the camera, admiring yourself.

“You. You said you were cold, like, two seconds ago.”

“Oops. Yeah, I did.”

user-2 kk is such a sweetheart

user-3 kk who were you kissing in that video??

user-4 i’m 99% sure it was y/n

user-5 i don’t think so

user-4 nobody asked you

user-6 KK PLS ADDRESS THE VIDEO

You prop the camera down against a random glass of water someone left on the counter, catching the hoodie Caroline throws at you and quickly putting it on.

“Okay, fit check!” You do a little spin, watching KK smile at the way her last name looks on your back. “Hoodie is from Caroline, bottoms are from… Under Armor, and… yeah, I don’t know where these socks are from.”

A few people compliment you, but the chat is still mostly filled with people asking for KK- or asking about the video.

The video that thankfully hasn’t been connected to you yet… but still, your name has been mentioned as a culprit multiple times.

You sigh, heavily. “I’m not good enough for them, they only want you, KK.”

She smiles but joins you in front of the camera, her eyes catching on your pouty lips for a second before she looks at the camera, wrapping her arm around your waist and standing close to you.

Immediately, the comments flood with questions about the video.

The two of you very pointedly ignore them, and Caroline finally gets up to grab the phone, opening the cabinet above the stove and propping it up in there. You sit on the counter behind them, legs swinging in the air as Laila shows off her vegetable cutting skills before dumping them in a pan to cook.

KK leans right next to you on the counter, her shoulder touching your arm, she squints at the camera before placing her hand on your thigh. You look down for a quick second, seeing that was in fact KK’s hand very not-friendly placed on your thigh, whipping to her with your eyes wide.

“Caroline,” you whisper, trying to subtlety push her away from you.

“Relax,” she whispers back. “They can’t see. You’re still my girlfriend, I wanna touch you.”

You look away, hoping the camera doesn’t catch the heat in your cheeks or the way you smile.

“Y/N,” Laila says, reading yet again from the live. “Someone wants to know why you’re always at our place.”

“What kind of question is that?” KK asks with an amused smile while you laugh. She pinches your cheek with her free hand. “Who wouldn’t want to look at this face all day?”

“You certainly do,” you laugh. Caroline smiles up at you. You’ve long since decided her smiles are your favorite thing in the world, but every time she smiles at you- which is a lot- you still get that same feeling you get when she first kisses you at that game.

“Okay,” Laila says, acting nonchalant as she turns around. “Hello?” She says, so quietly you have to read her lips. “Tone it down?”

You suddenly realize what you said.

You swallow and suddenly find the ceiling very interesting.

Caroline squeezes your thigh to be comforting but doesn’t look at you. You really want her to look at you. You wonder, for just a second, if maybe it would be easier to just tell people.

Then you remember the comments.

You still get them sometimes, the random trolls who don’t think you’re pretty or worthy enough for KK, to be friends with the team in general- and they make you feel so fucking shitty about yourself that KK’s even caught you crying about them a few times.

You know it’s stupid.

You try to listen to her, to not let them bother you- but maybe you’re just not as tough as her. Or you’re stupid, weak, sensitive- they bother you. They cut you deep like a sharp knife.

You hop down from the counter, KK’s hand sliding off of you. “Gonna run to the bathroom,” you mutter.

You can feel Caroline’s eyes on your back as you walk away. And she does come find you, but she waits a minute. She does ask what’s wrong, and you say nothing and she knows you’re lying- so she asks Laila to end the live.

And even though they’re not there anymore, you still carry the fear of their judgement.

@/user-1 screen recording from the live!!! i love kk and y/n’s relationship so much <3

> View 97 comments

user-2 if y/n and kk are JUST friends i’ll pay everyone on this planet 100 dollars

> view comment thread

user-3 really?? idk i think they’re just friends

user-4 kk said “who wouldn’t want to stare at this face all day” and y/n said “you do” that’s gay…

user-5 kk literally got a hoodie for her when she mentioned she was cold and then when she came on camera she looked at y/n’s lips

user-3 i just don’t know if i see it tbh like i don’t see them together

user-5 they’re dating mark my words

—-

It’s been weeks since the video came out, since the clips of the lives started circling, since more and more people starting saying your name when discussing who KK was dating- since everyone pretty much knew she was dating someone now, the only question was who.

Thankfully, despite the initial week where your comments were filled with people asking who Caroline was dating- asking if it was you- it finally died down, and people had either forgotten it or gotten bored by the lack of response.

And, you had found comfort in your own account. There was the occasional hate comment- but you didn’t cry anymore. There were always people ready to defend you, and everyone was just genuinely so sweet to you. They wanted to know about your life, your routines, your outfits- and the KK content you provided was just an added bonus.

That’s what you’re doing, Friday night at 4pm. The Badgers had a home game today, and like most home games, you were going to watch from the stands, cheering on your girl and the rest of your friends.

You decided to go live, sitting on the floor in KK’s room in front of her floor length mirror, pulling out her desk chair next to you, placing a stack of books on it and propping your phone up against it.

It was kind of therapeutic, answering random question about yourself and the team while you got ready. You showed the camera each product you used, and then they watched as you put it on- a few people even managing to give you helpful tips. It made you feel kinda wanted, kinda loved, kinda…good.

The door opens, and you look over your shoulder to see Caroline walking in.

“Hi, K,” you greet.

“Hi,” she says back, kind of distracted, already rifling through her messy bedside table, then her dresser-

“Okay, what are you looking for?” You laugh, smiling.

“Hairtie.”

You roll your eyes. “Babe, they’re on your desk, remember?”

“Oh,” she mumbles, eyebrows raising as she suddenly remembers that, yes, she did put the ceramic jar full of hair ties on her desk last night. She grabs one, standing behind you and pulling her hair back into a somewhat lazy ponytail.

She crouches down behind you, putting her arms around your neck. She looks at you in the mirror, and you look back.

“Well?” You say, teasing her, looking for a thank you.

She smiles.

“Thank you, baby.” She kisses your cheek. “Always keeping me in check.”

Your phone suddenly buzzed about 20 times, and you look over to the desk chair, mouth dropping in horror as you realize you’re still on live.

Fuck.

You’re still on live.

“Shit!” You practically screech, grabbing your phone and panicking, hitting buttons randomly before opting to just close the app altogether. “Shit. Shit. Shit.”

Caroline is completely frozen behind you.

“Were you… just… on live?”

“I’m sorry,” you breathe, and suddenly tears are streaming down your face faster than you can stop them, and all you can do is watch your pretty makeup get slowly ruined. “Fuck. I’m so sorry, I- I don’t- I’m sorry.”

Her hands come to your shoulders and she fully sits down behind you, massaging your shoulders gently as she kisses the back of your head, shushing you softly.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, sweetheart.” Her lips move against your hair. “Baby, it’s okay.”

She doesn’t try to comfort you beyond that, just calling you baby and telling you it’s okay, even though you want to scream that it’s not. It’s not okay.

She just lets you cry. And you cry, you cry for what feels like twelve hours.

“Y/N,” she finally whispers.

“What?” You moan back, sniffling.

“What are you thinking right now?”

You scoff at the ridiculous question.

But, you can’t help but lean back into her. She wraps her arms around you, keeping your arms tucked to your sides, her legs outside of yours, touching you- you never feel safer than you do when you’re in her arms like this.

“I’m thinking I’m the worst girlfriend in the world, and-”

You’re cut off by another sob.

“I’m so sorry,” you say again, because all you can do right now is apologize. “Are you mad?”

“Am I mad? Baby, I’m fine. It’s completely fine. Maybe this wasn’t the most perfect, thought-out way to launch “us,” but it’s okay. I promise, I’m not mad. And I promise it’s going to be okay.”

“Caroline,” you groan.

“What, baby?” She asks, kissing your cheek.

“I don’t know. Why did we even do this in the first place?”

“You cried. Because of the hate comments. And I don’t want to see you cry. But that was so long ago, babe, now you’re really famous. I mean, you have, what, 5000 followers? That’s impressive. We… we were just so new back then, and I was scared that you would break up with me. It was me. I was scared. I told you, I just want you all to myself.”

“I wouldn’t break up with you over that.”

“Well, I know that now,” she smiles.

You finally manage to open your eyes, meeting her gaze in the reflection. You look like a mess.

“I don’t know how you manage to stay so pretty when you cry.”

You try to hide a laugh, but you can’t.

“I’m sorry that we didn’t get to control how we did it, but I’m not sorry that we kept it for hidden longer. It was time, babe- it was getting on my nerves. All the bugging me about who I was kissing after games… I was done with it. I love you, and this is nothing.”

“I love you,” you repeat.

“And this is nothing.”

“And this is nothing.”

“Honestly,” she starts, loosening her grip on you. “We made this into a big thing.”

“We did,” you chuckle. You glance at your phone, still readily receiving texts. The notifications you originally got were from your friends who were on the live, who had saw Caroline kiss your cheek and call you baby, and immediately freaked out and texted you, realizing you had forgotten you were on live. “Whatever. This is nothing. We’re together, everyone knows, it’s fine.”

“And if anyone has a problem with that, you have 5000 followers to attack them with.”

You roll your eyes. “I would argue your, what, 35 thousand is more impressive and effective?”

“Same difference. Wait, hold on, can I get your autograph? You’re literally my favorite celebrity, like, ever. I would die for you, I love you so much.”

“Oh, no, I’m sorry- no more autographs today. My hand is cramping from writing so many,” you frown, flexing your hand dramatically.

“Can I get a kiss then?”

“Very weird thing to ask a celebrity, but… you’re hot, sure.”

@y/n she chose me she don’t want u 💋

> View 327 comments

user-1 most iconic way to announce a relationship ever i fear

kkharvey4 love u baby so glad ur all mine

user-2 @/kkharvey4 hey thanks for ripping my heart out of my chest… happy for u or whatever tho

user-3 GODDDD THEYRE SO CUTE IM DEAD

user-4 fuck she’s beautiful… can’t even be mad

user-5 ok but they ate… power couple fr…

user-6 this reminds me of the day kate martin hard launched. i need to mourn

user-7 bitch i fucking called it

[kimoralov3]

Marry You

Requested by: @arkofblake Word Count: 2738 Pairing: Steve Harrington x gn!reader Warnings: swearing, angst, steve is a bit of a dick, mentions of steve's parents, tears a/n: did not mean to post this on 4/20 but hey lmao

 You would think that after all the years you and Steve had known each other, nothing that he could do would surprise you.

You were wrong. 

Currently, you, Steve, and Robin were sitting in her backyard catching up. You and Robin were talking about everything that had happened while the two of you were at college, with Steve occasionally chiming in every now and then for clarification about someone’s name or why what they had done was so bad. When it came time for Steve to share what he had been up to while the two of you were away, he said not one, but two things that sent a bolt of shock down your spine. 

“Well, I got a job working at the Sheriff’s office and went on a few dates. Other than that though, these past couple of months have been uneventful.” He said as he casually took a sip of his soda. You and Robin both gave each other a shocked look before turning back to Steve and speaking at the same time.

“You went on a date and didn’t tell me about it?” Robin yelled.

“You’re working at the Sheriff’s office?” You asked as you sat up straight. Steve looked between the two of you, not sure why either of those things were surprising. 

“Yeah, I got a job at the Sheriff’s office; it’s just sorting through papers and stuff so it’s nothing special. Why are you so surprised that I’ve been on a date?” Steve asked as he turned towards Robin. She scoffed as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

“Steve, when I first met you you were still hung up on Nancy Wheeler and constantly got shut down by every girl you looked at. How did you manage to find a date?”

“First of all, I was not hung up on Nancy,” At that, you and Robin let out loud chuckles. Steve rolled his eyes at the both of you before continuing. “And just so the two of you know, there are plenty of guys and girls that want to go on dates with me.”

You had calmed down at that point, whipping fake tears from your eyes. “Ok, so, did any of these lucky guys or girls stick? Does Steve Harrington have someone special in his life that his best friends should know about?” 

Steve thought for a moment before answering. “Nah, none of them really had what I was looking for. There wasn’t that spark that people always talk about, you know?” His words seemed rehearsed almost, as if he had spent an ample amount of time thinking about this. 

“Ugh, you disgust me. You and Y/N sound just the same, always talking about some ‘spark’. The two of you should just get married already.” She said as she playfully shoved Steve’s arm.

“Says the one in a relationship! Seriously, let’s not forget all the sappy shit you said at the beginning of you and Nancy’s relationship.” Steve pointed out. While Steve and Robin argued about who was right, you took time to consider Robin’s second statement.

A few years ago, if someone had made that statement both you and Steve would have immediately shut them down. The two of you? In a relationship? Never in a million fucking years.

But things have changed in the past few years— in good ways and bad ways. Outside of both of you almost dying multiple times, you’d both grown as people. Steve was no longer the biggest dick you’d ever meet and you had learned how to stick up for yourself. 

And your personalities weren’t the only thing to grow over the past few years. You’re the first to admit that when the two of you were in elementary school, you had a little crush on him. These feelings had gone away by the time the two of you reached middle school, but something about working close proximity with Steve at Scoops Ahoy reminded you of the sweet little boy you had fallen in love with all those years ago.

During the months you were away at college, you had spent more time than you’d like to admit thinking about Steve. His smile, the look in his eyes he gets when he’s listening to you, the way his eyebrows furrow whenever he’s stressed or focusing really hard on something. 

You were head over heels in love with Steve Harrington, but there was nothing you could do about it. 

—

The first few weeks of your summer break seemed to go by in a flash. Most of it was spent driving around town with Robin and Steve, or stopping by the Byers-Hopper household to hang out with all the kids. It was fun to watch Dustin and Steve argue about the most random things, and it was nice to catch up with Nancy, Max, and El. 

However, you noticed that after the conversation you, Steve, and Robin had had a few weeks ago, Steve had been distant. Which didn’t make sense, because when you first got back he had practically tackled you to the ground. 

You first noticed it when the three of you went to the local diner right after that conversation. It was getting pretty late, so there weren’t many people left in the diner except for truckers working the night shift.  Y’all all ordered your usuals — a strawberry milkshake and fries for Robin, a cookies and cream milkshake and a burger for you, and a strawberry milkshake and a bacon cheeseburger for Steve. When the waitress came back with your orders, it was clear that she was trying to flirt with Steve.

“Alright, here are all of your burgers, fries, and milkshakes. Is there anything else I can do for you cutie?” The waitress asked, turning her full body towards Steve. She was posing herself in a way to make her seem more appealing, but it clearly wasn’t working judging by the uncomfortable look on Steve’s face. 

“Uh, no thanks, we’re good.” He said simply. The waitress flashed him another smile before walking off. 

Once she was out of earshot, Robin let out a scoff and turned towards the two of you. “Well, that was awkward.” 

“Yeah, I mean it was clear that you weren’t interested. Right, Steve?” You asked as you turned toward Steve and took a sip of your milkshake.

Steve didn’t say anything, just moved the straw around in his milkshake. It took you and Robin calling his name a few times to get a response from him. “Hm? I’m sorry, I spaced out. What did you say?”

You looked him up and down before responding. “It’s nothing important. Are you okay? You’ve been acting strange since we got in the car.”

“What, am I not allowed to be quiet?” Steve scoffed. 

“Wow, okay. No need to get all rude, I was just checking in on you.” You replied as you sat back a little.

“Well you surely weren’t worried about checking in on me when you fucked off to college.” Steve snapped.

“Steve!” Robin hissed. “What has gotten into you?”

“What, it’s not my fault that they left me behind! Both of you did, actually.” His voice was getting louder, causing the few people left in the diner to turn toward your table. Including the waitress that couldn’t seem to take her eyes off of Steve, even now.

“If you want to be a dickhead towards me that’s fine, but you have no right to raise your voice at Robin, Harrington.” To anyone else, you might have sounded calm, but Steve knew better than that. Because the two of you knew each other more than you know yourselves. 

At least you had thought so, but apparently, more things than you thought had changed since you’d been away at college. 

“Whatever, Y/N.” Steve got up, threw some money on the table, and stormed out of the diner.

“What the fuck is his problem?” Robin mumbled as she watched him walk out.

“I have no idea, but as long as he has some giant stick shoved up his ass, I don’t give a fuck.” You said as you took a sip of your milkshake. 

—

The next few days you spent alone. Steve was still acting like everything wrong in the world stemmed from you, and Robin didn’t know how to handle it when her two best friends were at odds. 

You were currently propped up on your bed, going through your diary from when you were in middle school. The pages looked and felt as pristine as they did back then — Steve always teased you for taking such good care of your diaries, but you’d always remind him that when you were rich and famous one day, these would be of the utmost value. 

Dear Diary,

Today was a great day. Steve, Jonathan, and I hung out after school, but Jonathan had to go home so it ended up just being me and Steve. I helped him out with some homework, and he told me about his weekend baseball practice. When I was helping him with his homework, our hands accidentally touched, but it didn’t mean anything! I’ve been over him since 6th grade, and he’d never be into me like that. We’re just friends, and I’m completely fine with that. It’s better than nothing, actually. 

Anyways, it’s almost time for dinner, and mom’s making chicken alfredo. Goodbye for now, unless I think of more to talk about later. 

“Wow, this was definitely written by a 13 year old.” You said with a scoff as you slammed the book shut and threw it towards the end of the bed. 

Ok, maybe you still had feelings for Steve when the two of you were in middle school, and working so closely with him at Scoops did not help your situation at all. And after what happened at the diner, Steve had made it pretty clear to you that he was not interested in you. He might even hate you now. 

“What’s got you thinking so deeply?” A voice asked. You looked towards your door to see Steve standing there, leaning against the doorframe with his hands in his pockets. 

“What are you doing here, Harrington?” You asked as you hugged your knees to your chest. How did he even get in?

“Your mom let me in, she said you’ve been holed up in your room the past couple of days,” He started. When he got no response from you, he continued talking. “I came to apologize. I had no right to speak to you the way I did.”

“You’re right, you didn’t.” You simply stated. Steve shifted a little, like he didn’t know what to do now. You sighed, scooting over and patting the bed. “Come sit down.” 

Steve gave you this sad puppy look, almost like he was asking if you were really sure you wanted him around. You patted the bed again and he walked over, sitting down slowly. 

“What’s going on Steve? Like actually going on, don’t give me that bullshit you gave me the other day about me going to college and forgetting you, because you know that I would never forget you. I’d never want to.”

Steve groaned, pushing the palms of his hands against his eyes. “I know, I’m a fucking idiot.” It’s just that—” Steve broke off, letting out a sigh as he tried to think of what to say next. You looked at him, raising an eyebrow as a signal for him to continue. “I didn’t know what to do with myself when you left for college. I mean, we’ve been best friends since elementary school, how was I supposed to go on about my day while knowing I couldn’t just pop over to your house when something went wrong? It just felt like I was losing my only support system; god knows my parents aren’t fucking interested in me. And I know that’s not an excuse, but let’s be honest. I’ve never been particularly good at managing my emotions.” He ended off with a chuckle. His eyes had gone a little red, as if he was fighting back tears. 

You scooted closer to him, wrapping your arms around him in a sort of side hug. “Oh Steve. Why didn’t you tell me about this before I left?”

“And stop you from following your dreams? No way, I could never do that to someone I love.” He mumbled as he looked at you. The look was filled with so much tenderness, it hurt you to have to look away. Now you began to tear up, thinking about all the things that needed to be said between the two of you. How could you possibly let him leave like this when he so clearly needed you.

“I have something to tell you.” You said as you turned Steve to fully face you. A few tears had fallen down his face at this point, and for a second Steve moved back a little. As if you were about to break his heart.

“What, did you meet some boy at college and I’ve just made a complete fool of myself?” Steve attempted at a joke. You of course saw through it; his eyes seemed to have gotten even more red and now the tears were streaming down his face at this point. 

“Steve, look at me,” You say as you gently tilt his head to look you in the eyes properly. “I love you too, and I have loved you for years. Honestly, if you haven’t figured that out by now I must be one hell of an actor. When we were in elementary school I had the biggest crush on you. And as far as going off to college, it was really fucking hard for me too. We’ve been inseparable since birth basically. Living a life without you? It was fucking hell. Then I came back and you seemed to be finally moving on. I didn’t want to fuck that up because you deserve to be happy.”

“Well you’re what makes me happy.” Steve said softly, smiling now that everything was out in the air. 

“Well if I make you so happy, why don’t you do something about it?” You teased as you backed away from him. Steve scoffed, pulling you closer and softly pressing your lips together. The kiss was soft, like being wrapped in the fluffiest blanket of comfort. Steve tasted a little like salt from the tears, as well as the mintyness from his favorite chewing gum. 

The two of you pulled away after a few moments, not wanting the kiss to end. When you finally opened your eyes, Steve was looking at you. And from the look in his eyes, you could tell that everything he had  said to you since he walked in your room was genuine. And what more could a person ask for?

“God, I’ve been waiting to do that since we were like 8.” He finally said, breaking the silence.

“I’ve been waiting to do that since we made that pact to marry each other when we were 5.” You said with a giggle. 

“Wow, ok, I can’t believe that you actually remember that.” Steve groaned as he leaned his head on your shoulder. 

“Oh I more than remember it. In fact, I probably have that contract that you wrote up and made me sign laying around here somewhere.” You said as you began looking around. Steve’s eyes widened, and he quickly wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closely to his chest before you could get up and look for the alleged paper. 

“Please don’t, I think I’ve embarrassed myself enough for one night.” He mumbled into your ear as he laid his head on your shoulder once again.

You let out an exaggerated sigh and rolled your eyes, dramatically throwing your arms up in the air. “Fine, I won’t look for it now. It’ll just have to wait until our wedding.” 

“Oh, you’re already planning our wedding?” Steve asked as he looked at you.

“Oh please Steve, I’ve had this wedding planned since middle school. It’s going to be in the summer, and the colors will be a light yellow and white.” You said as you rubbed his arm unconsciously. 

Steve chuckled, placing another kiss on your cheek. “If that’s what you want babe, then that’s what you’ll get.”

[generalllimaginesss]

I would like to apologize for the amount of time this took to write lmao. I couldn’t find a good stopping point and got overwhelmed with how I would finish this part, but at least there will be a part 4 in the foreseeable future. I’m working on some headcannons for Hattie so we can get to know her a bit more!

Thanks for reading!!

1

2

No Expectations

“Jack, I need your moral support. Please come here now,” Hatton’s hands threatened to begin sweating with the amount of anxiety that was coursing through her body. She had her MacBook out, the cursor hovering above the attachment that Trevor had sent her. She didn’t know why she was so nervous, but she knew that Jack would bring her back to earth.

“Sure, Hattie. Let me drop everything I’m doing and come at your beckon call. There’s literally nothing more in the entire world that I would want to do right now,” Sarcasm laced Jack’s words.

“Attitude Mister. Check it now,” Hatton quickly brought it to his attention.

“Sorry, I’m just trying to make sure I have everything packed to go back to Jersey. Luke is coming over tonight and I want to check his stuff and make sure he’s ready to go. When do I need to come over?” Jack was rustling through some papers as he held his phone to his ear with his shoulder.

“Now?” Hatton put her innocent voice on, knowing Jack could never say no to her.

“Hattie, you better be glad that you’re my best friend in the world,” Jack sighed as he laid the papers down.

“Thank you, Jacky boy,” Hatton smiled.

About 20 minutes passed when she heard the front door open and close, followed by footsteps that skipped up the stairs. Jack pushed open Hatton’s door and plopped down beside her on the bed.

“What’s up,” he asked, pulling out his phone to keep him occupied.

“Trevor sent me a PowerPoint on why he would be a good boyfriend. I don’t know why I’m nervous, but I am and I need your company here,” Hatton explained as she fiddled with the rings on her hand.

“You couldn’t just FaceTime me with this?” Jack groaned. This whole ordeal gave Jack flashbacks of their middle school days of romance.

“Jack, this is my future we’re talking about. What if he’s the one? What if I say yes to be his girlfriend? What if we get married and have kids and finally get a happily ever after?” Hatton was serious, but Jack was trying not to laugh.

“You realize, like, 2 months ago you didn’t like him…” Jack smirked, but was met with an unamused look from Hatton.

“3, 2, 1,” Hatton took a deep breath and clicked the attachment. She clicked the ‘present’ button and began to read the slides.

“Ok, I actually want to see these,” Jack admitted as he scooted closer to Hatton and read the slides.

“I will buy you flowers when you least expect it,” Hatton laughed, “Because that’s boyfriend material.”

“I have a dog?” Hatton was getting upset. She wanted him to take this seriously, but he’s giving her these lame reasons? Actually, the dog isn’t lame, but basing an entire relationship on one is.

“Uh oh, here’s the mushy ones,” Jack announced as he clicked to the next slide.

Hatton’s eyes scanned the slide.

“Every time I look at you it gets harder to breathe. You’re quite literally breathtaking and I’ll remind you that every single day,” Hatton could feel the heat in her cheeks rise.

“That’s gross,” Jack fake gagged, but stopped when Hatton gave him a look.

“Every time your name pops up on my phone (which isn’t much, but still…) my heart races a little,” Hatton began sporting a smile.

“I know that Jack Hughes will always be by your side (hi buddy) and that would be the closest I could get to be his brother. I’ve already asked Quinn to marry me and he told me to fuck off,” The slide caused a rupture of laughter that filled the entire room.

“He’s got a point,” Jack chuckled.

“Every time I picture my future, at least for the last 3 years until now, I always picture you in it. I’d like you to be more than a friend, and I’d love for you to give me a chance to prove that I can love you the way you deserve,” Hatton couldn’t shake the smile off of her face even if she wanted to.

“I would’ve bullied him in high school for this,” Jack shook his head and leaned back into the pillows, pulling his phone out to go through his Snapchat.

A link on the last slide caught Hatton’s attention, but she managed to read the text that sat above it.

“Here’s a plane ticket. If I convinced you to allow me to be your boyfriend, I’d love to see you and keep explaining how I can be your boyfriend while being thousands of miles away,” Jack squealed as he watched Hatton open the link to the plane tickets.

Sure enough, there was a ticket for first class from Detroit to Anaheim that was a week away.

Jack kept glancing between the ticket and Hatton while she just sat there staring at the computer screen.

“It’s not going to disappear if you look away you know,” Jack poked her in her side, resulting in an elbow to his stomach.

“I don’t know what to do. I mean, I guess I could skip school for the week. I could do my assignments online,” Hatton wasn’t talking to Jack in particular, but more so thinking out loud. Jack didn’t seem to pick up on that memo though.

“I’m no genius by any means, but it sounds like you do know what to do,” Jack raised his eyebrows at the girl sitting beside him. She couldn’t be annoyed with Jack because he was right. She wanted to jump on that flight. Hell, she’d probably jump on a flight sooner if possible, but she didn’t want to begin this relationship with being so spontaneous.

“When do you leave for Jersey?” Hatton turned to face Jack, quickly changing the subject, but eager to know the answer.

“Um, 6 in the morning,” He scratched the back of his neck, preparing for a lecture of why he should’ve told her he was leaving sooner.

“Jack Hughes, what the hell?!” She pushed at him, hoping to push him off the bed, but he barely budged.

“I probably would’ve told you sooner….actually I shouldn’t lie I probably wouldn’t have. In my defense, I did tell you I was busy before I got here,” he pointed out, but it didn’t fix Hatton’s frustration.

“Yeah, but you failed to mention that you’ll be leaving in less than 24 hours, dumbass,” she thumped him on his ears, eliciting a wince from him.

“I was going to come over tonight to tell you bye,” he grumbled, but Hatton just rolled her eyes.

“I’m FaceTiming you when I get there,” Hatton announced.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” he patted her leg as he began to stand up.

“Wanna come help me finish packing?” He knew she wouldn’t say no to his request.

“I guess I could,” Hatton played as if it was even a thought that she wouldn’t.

Because he was leaving in the morning, they took separate vehicles back to his house, so Hatton just planned on spending the night, wanting to spend as much time with her best friend as possible before hockey stole him back.

….

The next week passed painfully slow as Hatton had said goodbye to all of her boys. She had friends that were girls, but none that she trusted as much as Jack, Turcs, Cole, or Quinn. Maybe Trevor, too.

The boys just made life interesting. They weren’t full of drama, and everyday was some sort of adventure. She missed them a lot when they were gone, so to think that she would get to see Trevor, and possibly Alex, gave her something to look forward to.

She appreciated the gesture of the plane ticket from Trevor, but what the hell was he thinking with a 7:00 am flight? There was an hour drive from her to the airport, and she had to be there at least 2 hours prior so that she wouldn’t be an anxious mess. And that leads her to now, lugging her bag from her room to her car and making the drive to Detroit.

The drive wasn’t terrible, but Hatton had to stop for coffee so that she wouldn’t fall asleep behind the wheel. The traffic was steadily getting worse as she made her way to the airport parking, though. She went through TSA and checked her bag groggily, the sleep not too distant from the night before.

Once Hatton was awake enough to be aware of her surroundings, she knew she wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep, even if the flight was four and a half hours. A shaken espresso from Starbucks would do the trick to give her enough energy to get through the travel day without catching an attitude with somebody.

After grabbing her coffee and finding a corner to read one of her books, the intercom finally came on, announcing that her flight was boarding first class. She grabbed her backpack and book and made her way to her seat next to the window.

The book she was reading seemed to speed up the flight, the one and only time she glanced at her watch and there was only an hour left until they landed. She spent the last hour watching outside of the window, taking a few pictures, and just thinking about what this next week could lead to.

That was great, until she thought about the fact that she hadn’t even talked to Trevor to let him know she was coming. She couldn’t text him, so she just had to wait until the plane landed, mentally kicking herself for forgetting such a major detail for the day.

The plane landed and everybody deboarded. Hatton quickly grabbed her suitcase from the baggage claim and tried to find a place outside to make a quick call to Trevor.

As she pressed his number to call him, she heard a phone ringing behind her. Confusion swept over her as she turned around to see the tan skinned, wind-swept hair that Trevor wore so well. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes and smile when he smirked at her.

“Let me guess…Jack?” She knew that Jack couldn’t keep his fat mouth shut even if he wanted to, but for once it turned out in her favor.

“Did you really think he wouldn’t tell me that you were coming? Which brings me to my next question, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” He grabbed the suitcase from her and walked her to where his car was parked, all the while taking in how she could possibly be as beautiful as she was right now after traveling all day.

“I’ll be honest, I completely forgot to. I don’t really have a good excuse,” She admitted. She placed her backpack into his backseat, but Trevor wouldn’t let her grab the door to get into the front because he had to.

“Thank you,” Hatton smiled up at him and waited for him to get in so they could drive away.

The drive wasn’t long, mostly filled with a few road rage moments for Trevor along with small talk to fill the silence. They pulled up to the house that Trevor called home. He wished that Hatton had come a year ago, that way she could’ve experienced life with him and Jamie, but he was sure his friend would make an appearance at some point while Hatton was here.

“Wow, you’re house is really pretty,” Hatton commented while unbuckling and grabbing her backpack from the backseat. Trevor grabbed her suitcase and they made their way inside.

Trevor smiled, a blush rising onto his cheeks, as he shrugged his shoulders.

“I have a couple of extra rooms that you can choose from. You could always just room with me, though,” he smirked and threw her a wink.

“And there’s the Trevor I know,” Hatton chuckled as Trevor began to show her around the house. A part of her wanted to just stay in the same room as Trevor, but she’d be here for a week, so they would have plenty of time to make rooming changes if need be.

Trevor let Hatton unpack by herself, giving her some time to decompress on her own from traveling all day. He had planned for the first day to be less action packed so that the two would be rested for his game day tomorrow.

“Okay, I think I’m unpacked,” Hatton breathed a sigh of relief and plopped down on his couch, momentarily closing her eyes as she was realizing that it would just be him and her sleeping here for the entire week. It was never just the two of them, there was always somebody else with them, even if it was just Jack.

“So, I have some pretty cool things planned for the week, but I figured we take it easy today…that ok?” Trevor plopped down in a recliner beside the couch.

“Yeah, sounds good,” Hatton kicked her shoes off and tucked her feet beneath her, making herself more comfortable.

“Um, I know this conversation is just going to be awkward no matter when we have it, but seeing as you’re hear you saw my reasons why I think we could work out,” Trevor watched as Hatton nodded her head, urging him to continue with the conversation.

“Yeah, speaking of, where’s your dog?”

“He’s getting a bath. We can go pick him up in a little while. Back to what I was saying....I just feel like I need to say some things in person so we can just completely clear the air about how we feel about each other,” Trevor was just going to rip the bandaid off and get everything out of his system. He's had ample time to think about what to say to Hatton, but none of it sounded good enough now that she was sitting so close to him, just the two of them. He let his heart go on autopilot, deciding that may be the best way to go about this.

“You obviously know I like you. Like a lot. But, um," Trevor stuttered as he rubbed his arm, subconciously trying to ease the anxiety that seemed to peak when he tried to take about his feelings. That was something about Trevor that only a select few knew; Trevor loved attention, but he avoided showing his true feelings at all costs. He would rather just make everybody around him smile or laugh than let them in on how he feels.

"Hattie, you mean the world to me. You meant the world to me when I knew you couldn't stand me, and you mean the world to me now that you've traveled this far and you're sitting right here," The words were flowing from his mouth, reaching Hatton and wrapping around her heart like a ribbon on a gift.

Hatton could feel her cheeks go rosy, not caring if Trevor noticed or not. She listened to each word that left his lips as if they were a raft that could save her from drowning from confusion. Because that's what Hatton felt most of the time: confused. Why did he feel like this towards her? Could she really let herself be in a relationship with him? Let him see the most vulnerable parts of her that very few were lucky enough to know about?

"You told me I needed to figure out how to make a long distance relationship work, so that's what I've been doing. I've talked to some buddies that have been in a long distance relationship and they gave me some words of advice. Long distance can't, and won't, work if we both don't work on it. I can tell you when I'm free from practice and games so that we could FaceTime or text or something. I'm willing to pay for your travel when you come here, and I swear I will make time each month to come see you as well. Even if it's for short periods of time. I really want this with you. More than anything, more than the fucking Stanley Cup, Hatton," Trevor chuckled, but he was completely serious. If hockey didn't pay his bills, then he'd drop everything to be with her.

"You must want me lot," Hatton grinned, teasing him.

"You have no idea," Trevor sighed, returning her grin.

"Ok. You have to ask me to be your girlfriend, though," Hatton's upside down smile was plastered on her face as she watched Zegras process what she just said.

"Wha- so that's a yes?" He could hardly form words because of the excitement that was running rampant in his head. His heart was working overtime.

"Did you ask me?" Hatton raised her eyebrows inquisitively, waiting for him to ask her the question that would start their future.

"Hatton Carlisle, would you do the absolute honor of being my beautiful, loving, caring girlfriend," Trevor was being a bit dramatic, but he didn't care because it made Hatton giggle.

"I would love to, Trevor Zegras," Hatton smiled.

Trevor got up from the recliner he was in and walked the two steps it took to get to Hatton. He cupped her face in his hands, taking a few seconds to take in her features, and placed a passionate kiss on her lips. The kiss saying everything that Trevor might have left out when previously discussing his feelings for Hattie. Hatton's fingers immediately grasped for his hair, slightly pulling him closer to deepen the kiss. Trevor took this as an opportunity to place himself between her legs, supporting his weight by placing one hand on the arm of the couch while the other was still cupping her cheek, his thumb caressing her smooth, rosy pink cheek.

Before things went too far, Trevor broke the kiss.

"We've got all week to show each other how much we like each other. We've got about 30 minutes to go pick up Louis," He chuckled, tucking a piece of Hatton's hair behind her ear.

The two loaded up into Trevor's car to go pick up Louis.

All that Hatton could think about was that Trevor wasn't just the annoying third wheel of her's and Jack's friendship anymore. He wasn't the one that pushed her buttons constantly, or made her question her sanity. He was her boyfriend.

Her phone ringing interrupted the comfortable silence in the car. Of course it was Jack.

"Bitch, did you not tell me you would call me when you got to Anaheim? I can't exactly help you when your literally on the other side of the country from me," Jack was yelling from somewhere off screen, but there was no way Trevor and Hatton couldn't hear him. His voice echoed all throughout his apartment.

"Sorry, bud. We've got some exciting news though," Hatton smiled.

As soon as she said that, Jack's face popped up on the phone, "Is my boyfriend there?"

"You mean my boyfriend?" Hatton smiled, knowing that Jack would have something to say about her statement.

"No fucking way..." Jack wore a grin as big as the sky, giving the Cheshire Cat a run for his money, "Let me see our boyfriend!"

"Jacky! My man, what's going on?" Trevor glanced at the phone before returning his attention on the road.

"It's about time. I'm telling Cole and Alex," And with that he hung up.

The two laughed, Trevor interlocking their hands. He couldn't believe that she actually agreed to be his girlfriend. It felt surreal, 3 years of pining after her and it all paid off.

"I'm glad you're here, Hatton," Trevor smiled.

"I'm glad I'm here too, Z," She gave his hand a squeeze. This week just might be one of the best weeks of their lives so far.

----

That night Hatton decided to sleep in a bed by herself, not quite comfortable with being completely vulnerable with Trevor quite yet. She tossed and turned all night long, replaying the day in her head over and over again. The sudden feelings she had developed for Trevor scared her, quite honestly. If she was capable of falling that hard that quickly, how much more control over her could Trevor have?

Before she knew it, the sun was peeking through a tiny sliver of the blackout curtains in her room. Like usual, there was no way she would be able to go back to sleep now. Her natural timer prohibited it. It made her feel a little better though when she heard a door open and the pitter patter of paws, followed along with what had to be Trevor's footsteps. She could hear him disarm the alarm system and open the back door.

Hatton decided that it would probably be rude of her to stay in bed all morning, so she stretched, tossing the covers off of her in the process. She put on a bra and brushed her teeth, but didn't bother doing anything else this early in the morning. If Trevor, for some odd reason, expected her to look like a model, he could suck it.

She put on a pair of slippers and made her way to the living room, quickly spotting Trevor sitting in one of the Adirondack chairs that circled a fire pit on the back porch, playing on his phone as Louis inspected the perimeter of the yard.

Before Hatton could even open the door, Louis somehow spotted her and began barking. Trevor quickly apologized as he picked him up and opened the back door for her.

"He's not aggressive, but he'll let me know when someone's here," Trevor chuckled as he scratched the dog behind the ears.

"No worries! When you're as cute as him you can get away with anything," Hatton gave the dog a pat on the head as she made herself comfortable on the couch that sat across from the chair that Trevor had previously been sitting in.

"Do you happen to have a coffee maker?" Hatton desperately needed caffeine. Now that she thought about it, she might have a caffeine addiction.

"I do not, actually. Jamie took it in the divorce," Trevor managed to say with a straight face, but furrowed eyebrows from Hatton gave away her confusion.

"Divorce?"

"Yeah, he moved out and had the balls to move down the street. He can be a bitch, but he's no threat to you," Trevor said so nonchalantly that Hatton couldn't tell if it was a joke or not.

"That's nice to know..." Hatton trailed off. The two sat enjoying the peace that the early morning exuded, watching Louis be Louis and occasionally mentioning something insignificant. A chill washed over Hatton, goosebumps quickly rising.

"So, I have a preseason game tonight, as you probably know. The game isn't until 5, but I do have a practice this morning if you want to tag along...," Trevor explained, hoping Hatton would want to come to the stadium.

"And what's in it for me?" Hatton was obviously going to support Trevor, but was it really Hatton if she didn't make him work for it?

"Well, that depends on what you're thinking of...if you want to go out to eat, there's plenty of places that will be open after the game. If you want to do something, Disney is literally like 5 minutes away and I have an off day tomorrow. If you're thinking a little alone time..." Trevor wiggled his eyebrows, but he was completely joking, unless Hatton wasn't. In that case he would definitely keep the offer on the table.

"Z, what if I actually said yes to the last option. What would you do?" Hatton chuckled as she spoke.

"Probably think somebody kidnapped the real Hattie and replaced her with whatever is sitting right here," Trevor rubbed the bottom of his chin, pretending to think about what he was saying.

"Disney tomorrow would be amazing," Hatton didn't even have to think about it. She adored Disney, the smell, the rides, it was one of her favorite things. She couldn't wait.

The two made their way inside to get dressed for the day, but not before a knock at Trevor's front door elicited a howl from Louis.

"I got it," Trevor announced, leaving Hatton alone in the kitchen while she poured a bowl of Lucky Charms.

She could hear somebody come through the front door, heading to the kitchen. Hattie could tell that Trevor was quietly chewing out whoever it was that he let in, but she couldn't quite make out what he was saying exactly.

"Trevor shut the fuck up. You never used this damn Keurig, anyway," A dark-haired, fair-skinned guy sat a black Keurig down on the counter adjacent to Hatton, not noticing there was a girl right next to him.

"Why do you even need-" As soon as the guy turned and caught a glimpse of Hatton, he knew exactly why Trevor blew his phone up asking about the stupid coffee maker.

"I think I might know who you are," Jamie sent an innocent smirk to the girl across from him.

"I think I might know who you are as well," Hatton giggled, connecting the dots as to the whole "divorce" thing that Trevor had mentioned.

"You must be the infamous Hattie. Trevor hasn't shut up about you for as long as I've known him," Jamie winked, chuckling when he saw Trevor giving him a death glare.

"You must be Trevor's ex in...some capacity. You didn't have to bring the coffee maker back. I could've run through Starbucks or Dunkin," Hatton rolled her eyes as she made eye contact with Trevor. He, in turn, shrugged his shoulders.

"It's no problem, I'll just make my morning coffee here and then we can carpool," Jamie popped in a coffee pod and started it for you.

"So how did Trevor mange to get you here? I thought you didn't like him..." Jamie waited patiently as the coffee poured into the mug he had placed underneath.

"She's my girlfriend now," Trevor interjected, immediately sending Hattie the biggest grin he could manage. He would never get tired of telling people that. He had worked hard to earn that title.

"Willingly? I don't normally judge people, but I'm judging a little bit," Jamie widened his eyes jokingly, causing Hatton to chuckle. He passed her the cup of coffee and began to make his.

"You know, I kinda feel the same way. He's a weirdo, but he's very convincing," Hatton could feel Trevor staring at her, but she just watched Jamie as he smiled.

"Yeah…you know I'm right here?" Trevor spoke up.

"Yeah, we know," Jamie nonchalantly said as he sipped his coffee.

Trevor rolled his eyes as he walked away towards his room to change into his outfit for the day, Hatton filing to her room shortly after to do the same.

As she ruffled through the articles of clothing that hung in the closet, she smiled. She was going into this week with an open mind and heart. No expectations, just experiences.

She was eager to see it all unfold.

[upslapmeal]

Boom

So I had vaguely seen things about Moffat coming back, but I'd always interpreted the 'next' series as being... the NEXT series. after the upcoming one. anyway BIG ol' surprise in the opening titles lol

are these those anglican marines back from what?? s5? s6?

....is this a flashback? I think those guys had the same name

we're finding out he swapped a duty and now he's injured

oh wait it’s not a flashback lmao

this is where being bad at faces fails me

is this an american ambulance situation where they cost too much and ruin your life?

ah

they ruin your life in another significant way

‘villengard’ assuming this is pre-bananas lol

*dramatically throws open tardis doors* 'someone needs me!!!'

Fifteen’s theme is so good

Moffat??????? well that explains the anglican marines

Fifteen is excellent at answering questions. shame they're not the questions Ruby is asking

‘one wrong move and boom’ eyy title drop

when can Twelve and Fifteen bond over capitalism and being scottish

‘i’m not even screaming. yet.’ yeah

‘it’s going to be tricky’ ‘it’s going to be a MOMENT YEAH’

gotta think of health and safety at war what can I say! only the finest ventilated air before our ambulances murder you

Ruby on her first planet <3 (though only now after 6 months?? Fifteen you've been slacking clearly!)

‘he was being sMELTED??’ ‘it’s a good word smelted’ 'NOT AT THE MOMENT???’ obviously Fifteen's not having the best time but poor Ruby lmao

‘ooooh I am. havin’ a day 🙃🙃’ never has a Doctor been so me. minus the landmine.

Ruby don’t make the Doctor laugh when he’s balancing on one leg!!

oh man the Doctor really IS having a day

ok those soldiers are definitely not the same guy lol but I could have sworn they had the same name!

‘everything is possible. everywhere is a beach eventually’ RIP Mundy left out of that lil callback to earlier

Ruby grabbing the gun, shooting it and yelling is v much banging the pipes in Space Babies lol

love that her instinct is make noise and yell, think later

meanwhile Splice is chilling with her lil photo album

…did I mishear shoot me little bitch??

oh lol ‘shoot me a little bit'

nooo Ruby!!

‘I can’t think unless I’m talking and I can only talk to you’ oh that is VERY Twelve Clara

and also a lot to put on someone you’ve known for so little time that they’re only just seeing their first planet RIP

Fifteen: do you get it do you get it!! Ruby: 😴

'there are no Kastarions’ big Doctor’s Daughter vibes

Thirteen: have faith!!! <3 Fifteen: >:(

love fifteen giving his big speech with snot running down his lip. giving Nine in Dalek

‘how much of the countdown left’ ‘3 minutes maybe’ I mean you said 5 minutes 4 minutes ago

speaking of which what is the point of assessing for life and having a countdown if it just blows anyway

(to give it flashy lights and features I know)

bud I appreciate the romance going on here but now is maybe not the time

oh yeah very much not the time

…..delighted that Ruby hasn’t been smelted. yet.

(.....also 3 minutes have now passed. where is the boom the title promised!!)

the deaths are stacking up and Splice is just having the best chill time lol

oh the ambulance is the twist lady!

just for the record it took that failsafe 8 minutes to trigger

lol poor confused Ruby. honestly rude to die and miss the action

there’s the closeup from the trailer!!

who knew that serene deep breath came shortly after prolonged near death by landmine

‘he’s not gone. he’s just dead’ <3

‘you keep the faith Splice’ there we go

‘snow isn’t snow until it falls’ maybe it’s just my love for Twelve’s era but I’ve been endeared to these nonsense Moffatisms lol

ok looking at the credits those characters have different names but they're still similar! you can’t have two characters with similar names played by incredibly similar-looking people and expect us to tell them apart??

WAIT HANG ON

varada sethu????? as in new companion???????

is Mundy coming back?????? or is this a Karen Gillan situation?

Really enjoyed this one!! Easily my fave of the first three, very tense and WHAT a showcase for Ncuti!!! Absolute powerhouse. However. On rewatch I really did notice how much Ruby was written like Clara lol. Ah Moff you've got your strengths and weaknesses like us all

[juneaulime]

Zombie!König x FEM!Reader

Pairing: Zombie!König x FEM!Reader

Tags: Primal König, Choking, Biting, Blood, Rough Sex, Not Beta Read.

Notes: Little German like Schatz and stuff, but nothing much, I'm not going to Google translate and get badly translated phrase. I'll spare the cringe for the Germans reader. Anyway, enjoy, I tried my best.

P.S. I still don't know how male anatomy work, lmao.

König turned into a zombie. Y/n found out and decided to hide it from the other members of KorTac. But, she couldn't hide him forever, so she told them. She told them everything and to trust her. Since then, König's been under her care. He began speaking again, though in a very broken English, he also started eating "normal" food, like snacks and processed meat, he still struggled with vegetable and cooked meat. But, he was good enough to be left alone for long times. So, y/n left for a mission that lasted 4 month. She thought it would be no big deal.

She came home, unusually dark and cold. She smelled König's scent, the scent of rotten meat mixed with soap. Weird combination but tollerable. She took off her gear and shoes, putting her backpack on the sofa. "König?" She calls out, then she hears big stomps, like he's dashing here. She chuckles and then turn around to face König, something about him looked primal. His eyes were blown wide and his breath was erratic. "Me... You... Sex" what? She looks at König confused "What- König, what do you mean by-" before she could finish her phrase König takes her wrist and pins her down on to the sofa, restricting her with his massive body, and a very noticeable bulge in his pants.

"Schatz... Sex... Now!" His to e was different from the first time, this time he sounded... Primal, and... Commanding. She puts a hand on his chest as a way to symbolize that she was not up to it. "König, listen. We can't... You'll break me." Her voice trembled when she said "break me", but as soon those words left her mouth something snapped in König, his grip tightened on her wrist and he was drooling now and growling. "Y/n... Please... Sex?" He said now begging and rubbing his erection on her stomach, she swallows her spit and gives up. She caresses his masked face "Okay... Fine. You win. Try to be nice, ok?" He nods excitedly. He takes off her shirt and pants, struggles with her bra which she helps him out with it.

There she was, laid bare and naked in front of König. He takes off his mask and tries to kiss her, but due to the lack of his lips he struggles a bit, but she understood and guides his mouth open and intertwine their tongues. He felt cold, compared to her she was warm, he could still feel it a bit on his fingertips. He traces her spine and trails down to her neck and collarbone, leaving small kisses and licks. He stops and looks at her with pleading eyes, she nods and he opens his mouth and bites her neck. She lets out a pained moan, which scares König for a minute, he looks back up, and she just nods again. He holds her hand, and rips his pants off of him, he lines up against her wet pussy. He looks up one last time and she nods again, maybe for the last time.

He takes a deep breath and pushes himself inside of her, immediately a wave of heat against his dick and the wetness, he let's out a satisfied groan. The caresses her face and starts moving with a steady pace. Little by little he gets faster and faster then he hits her cervix. She let's out a loud moan and her eyes rolling back into her skull. Her mouth hanged open and she breath was short and erratic. She looks up and sees that König was now lost, his reason was now gone, replaced by his primal instinct of sex. He let's go of her hand and puts it around her neck choking her lightly and starts fucking into her. He kept moving his hips and groaning and she kept moaning and pleading uselessly to König to slow down, but he won't listen. His grip tightens on her neck choking her completely, she cries out and squirts all over him. He let's out a satisfied laughter, and let's go of her neck and pulls her up against him. He holds her and kisses his neck and bites her, she yelps. With that he starts moving again, this time he felt even deeper inside of her, their moans and groans could've been heard all over the house. After God knows how long she feels König emptying inside of her, he pulls out and immediately positions y/n's face against his still hard member now covered in his and her cum. She doesn't think twice and give it a lick and takes it into her hand giving him a couple of pumps, she kisses his base and balls and goes up to the head swallowing whole. He groans and cums in her mouth pushing her even deeper onto his dick.

After he was done she lays there her mind fucked out of her and he looks at her, both ends filled with him.

He picks her up in bridal style and takes their clothes to the laundry.

He tosses their clothes in the washer and opens the door to the bath. He turns on the hot water and adds some bath salt.

He carefully washes her and after soaping her up and washing her up, he gets into the bath with her in his arms. She slowly blinks her eyes open and looks at him, they make eye contact and smile. She lays her head back on to his shoulder, falling asleep once again.

The End.

End note: Aahdhdbdbdhd hope y'all liked it!!! I tried my best!! Byee

[snarkylinda]

And when dawn came

I decided to take a shot at @imagining-in-the-margins's New Beginnings writing challenge loosely based around the "characters are getting the hang of being a new parent prompt"; and I say loseely because it's more about the before with a little bit of after sparkled on it lmao anyways I hope y'all like this cause I am new at writing challenges. ❤️

Summary: Spencer calls Emily the night that Cat has the baby he decided to adopt.

Content Warning: discussions of PTSD and anxiety caused by it, general mental instability, mention of sexual assault (the possibility, but it didn't happen), mention of the foster system. Please tell me if I miss anything ❤️

Word Count: 4.4k

AO3 ver.

It was a stormy night when Emily received the call she had been expecting for a while- just for the reasons she would have never imagined.

“Emily” Spencer’s voice was muffled- shaky and slightly out of breath. But oddly firm. He sounded like a man on a mission in the middle of a tropical storm- which he might as well be considering the weather and the fact that he was calling from a payphone. Outside.

“Spence, what the hell-“ Her eyes found her bedside clock- 1 a.m “Why are you calling this? Screw that- why are you outside at this hour?!” She poured all of the annoyance she could muster at her tone but the thinly veiled concern was creeping in without her permission. Emily hated to admit it, but the absolute trust she had in Spencer being able to take care of himself had evaporated the moment Mexico happened. Even before that, there was this lingering, collective fear that the resident genius would succumb to either his drug of choice or a psychotic episode…maybe both, and all the indications they would have of it would be a phone call- either by himself done in a moment of desperate clarity or by an EMT.

The older he got thought, the more those not totally unfounded fears were allowed to blur in as one of the many possible horrible things that could happen to either of them in or out of the job….

And then Mexico happened. And he was high again. And then Millburn happened. And Emily started to question every day if his pysche would truly survive unscathed….

Survive it did- unscathed? Well…. It had been a little over 6 months since his release, about 4 since he was reinstated at the team, and there has yet to be a single day where Emily didn’t see him zooming out on his paperwork or constantly watching over his shoulder- and everyone on the team, even the most recent additions, were very aware of why he took so many “bathroom breaks” lately.

To fall apart in private.

So now, as Emily heard the rapid breathing on the other side of the phone, along with the occasional sniff, she started to seriously consider calling 9-1-1. Suddenly, sleep was no longer of importance “Hey, what is wrong? Take a deep breath, and tell me what happened.”

“I need your help with something.” Came from the other side, firmer than she would have expected too, but she could already see him in her mind eye, trying to control an upcoming anxiety attack with practiced self-soothing techniques that are subtle enough for the untrained eye to not really notice and for the rest of the team to pretend they don’t see it.

“Ok.” Emily’s response was sharp and poignant. She needed to know why the hell her clearly mentally unstable friend’s deal was, immediately, but knew better than to make Spencer feel cornered, so she waited for him to put his racing thoughts in order.

At long last, he did- but it wasn’t what she was expecting to hear- not tonight, not in a millon years.

“Cat entered labor an hour ago, I want to be there. Would you come with me?”

Silence.

And then….

“What?” It wasn’t the most articulate response ever but in her defense, it was 1 am and her best friend was losing his mind.

Or already lost it.

“She made Lionel Wilkins impregnate her 8 months ago- and uh- pretended it was mine, to manipulate me. Remember?” How could Emily forget? Sure, what happened immediately after was an even bigger shock to her personally, and even to the whole team, but even then there was this little, quilty voice at the back of their heads that resonated with how absolutely messed up everything was before that. How messed up everything was.

´To manipulate me´

Was it working?

“Emily?”

“How do you know she is going into labor, Spencer?” Her voice was tight, clipped. She was doing everything in her power to keep the accusatory tone off, but it was hard. She knew Spencer, she knew he had this weird obsession with knowing everything and anything was beyond simple scientific curiosity-

It was a survival instinct.

So him keeping taps on Cat Adams wasn’t a surprise- if not a bit…. hypervigilantly…

“I….asked Garcia to keep tabs on her in case she tried anything or….if she went into labor.”

If, not when. Everyone had assumed she would get rid of the fetus shortly after her plan backfired.

“Spence-“

“It’s not- it’s not obsession Emily, I just needed to know- I need to know what happened to me, and why, you know this.” There it was, that spike of defensiveness she had grown to know so well. If albeit, a bit less fiery and more….drained. Exhausted. And it wasn’t because of the obvious sleepless nights either.

“A sadistic bitch got obsessed with you and she got the perfect chance to pull a whole scheme, but we defeated her. That is everything there is to it.”

“You know is not.”

“This not about her Em, it’s about….” A pause “We never thought she would actually have the baby”

“Sounds to me like you had thought about it.” Emily sighed, rubbing her forehead. J.J. told her she had the suspicion that, even though the unborn baby was -thankfully- not related to Spencer, he wouldn’t be apathetic towards it when -if- it was born, regardless of the fact he would rather do anything else than see Catherine again.

“…Yes.”  He admitted, knowing that doing laps around the subject would help nobody. Emily had already figured him out, anyways “And my mind is made- don’t try to change it, please. I made this decision months ago….I had some time to think.”  It’s amazing how much free time the average person could have when they skip the whole sleeping thing as much as humanly possible.

“What bureaucratic bullshit do you want me to brush over?” she quipped, her phone now resting between her ear and shoulder as she put her coat on. A scoff at the other side made her lips curl up a bit- it wasn’t quite a smile, not yet, but her features and shoulders relaxed sightly; anything was better than hearing her best friend fighting tears- she had more than enough of that forged at her memory already.

“Don’t worry, this is completely legal-…ish. Cat didn’t have any known family that would accept and the social worker I spoke to would rather not bring a baby with that background to the foster system- wouldn’t be the easiest to get adopted. So I just had to pass a psychological test-“ That he cheated on “-an home inspection-“ once the security tape was removed and the blood was cleaned from his floor “-and the fact that I am currently jobless didn’t faze her as much after I showed her a mail of Yale and Harvard fighting for my love.”

Emily did laugh at that, her hand hovering over the doorknob as she allowed herself to truly take in the implications of…everything, especially the last bit.

As right now, Spencer was no longer her subordinate; her colleague.

Her mind flashed to a conversation she had with him a lifetime ago, over the phone just like now, when the distance between them was way wider than just a couple of streets. When she had tried -and failed- to convince him to get out of his self-imposed insolation, to let their friends in a way she couldn’t be, since her spot in London.

”I loved her Em, I know- I know it wasn’t conventional-“

 “That doesn’t matter, ok Spence? What matters is how she made you feel- God, I am so sorry…”

“You asked me…..if I wanted to have children. When J.J was expecting Henry”

“Yeah, I remember that-“

“I did. I would have traded this job in a second if I had the chance. Maybe settled down, teaching- I am not- I am not the best public speaker but….I would have liked to be there for them”

“You still can.”

“No, I can’t. That fantasy died with her”

Emily remembered the cheer panic -not unlike tonight’s- she felt the moment the other line went dead after that statement, sending their friends a collective text to keep her tabbed, and being so relieved when Penelope texted that Spencer was not longer locking them out of his trashed apartment and avoiding any and all communication after two long weeks of it.

She didn’t tell anyone of their conversation- she knew he was in a bad state of mind to open up like that to her, and respected his wish for privacy, although heavily encouraged to talk to the others about the grief and quilt that still kept his shattered heart onto a tight grip. Ironically enough, the only thing that kept the pieces together.

5 years later, a different kind of grief clenched it and it wasn’t doing a very good job as some bits had escaped their clutch and stabbed his insides at the regular But at long last, she could see something else putting little band-aids over the cuts-

Hope.

“So you don’t need me pressuring whatever social worker steps in the way? Where is the fun at that.” Emily finally spoke, wiping eyes that were becoming mistier by the second “Might I ask why I need to be the one to get out of bed in the middle of the night? J.J is the one that awoke your maternal instincts.” She was already inside of her car.

“For one, I knew you didn’t have company-“ Ok, rude. And the worst part is that he was right… “-and I thought you would like to meet your goddaughter first.”

Oh, she was on full crying now, cool. “What?”

“Surprised?” His smile was so wide and bright it could be heard through the phone.

“Yeah! I mean- you are the boys’s godfather so I thought that J.J- or maybe Penelope since you guys ´co-godparent´- and you met them first and had known them for the longest so I thought-“ She trailed off, overcome with emotion and grateful that the streets were empty. Emily was sure that having this many overwhelmed feelings at once while driving was some kind of street safety hazard.

“Well- I thought about that as well, I truly didn’t want to let anyone out- so I asked Morgan for advice and-“

“Hold on, Derek already knows you are taking Cat’s baby? I already know he had thoughts about it.” After weeks of prodding, Spencer had confessed that even though he felt immensely relieved that Lindsay didn’t actually assault him…he still felt extremely violated. Could feel Cat’s unwanted hands on his torso as she took away his gun out of his waistband in their first meeting, her whole weight as she sat on his lap in that interrogation room, knowing that pushing her off could get his mother killed-

And the knowledge that, if Cat had yet to full-take his body, it wasn’t because she didn’t want to, but because physically she was unable to.

He had ended up confessing everything to the man who he knew would understand this better than anyone else over the phone after throwing every meal he had ever gotten out, not even caring over the fact he was openly sobbing over the bullpen’s toilet, nor the fact that  Derek was hearing everything and more over the phone, nor the fact that Emily was witnessing it from her spot by his side as she awkwardly rubbed his back- he had been so absolutely out of it she remembers the first time he said after -literally and figuratively- spilling his guts out was asking what she was doing on the men’s bathroom. Truly someone who should be trusted with two guns.

Needless to say, Cat wasn’t someone Derek held in high esteem.

“Of course he did- but he respected and supported my wishes” A pause “After I told him he would be the godfather- anyways, he told me that when thinking of who should have become Hank's godparents he thought of who, and I quote "saved his ass in more than one occasion and would bail him out of jail if the time came" so yeah, I thought it was a good enough method so- yeah, you quite literally bailed me out of jail so- J.J and Penelope will understand.”

Oh, he took the last part literally.  “Oh my God, I will co-godparent with Morgan- if anything happens to you I will move to Chicago and raise baby Reid with them. I can already see the shenanigans inssuing”  Emily’s sarcastic tone didn’t match her bright, wet eyes nor the wide smile on her face; somehow, she knew Spencer looked about the same on the other side of the call.

"Why are you writing me off so fast?" Spencer shook his head, his wet locks all over his eyes and while that would normally bother him, his mind was too occupied with the possibilities- for the first time in months, he had his sight in the future instead of dreading it or downright writing it off. The panic his shell-shocked soul went through when he heard the name of his worst most recent nightmare over the phone was slowly turning into a different kind of panic. He knew he wasn't ready to face her again, not yet. The adrenaline that had given him the strength to do so six months ago had faded entirely and left an even rawer open wound.  

He knew he would see her again- now a part of her was part of him, it was unavoidable- but he would rather wait a little for the flesh wound to, at very least, grow a scalp.

"You feeling ok?" Emily had to ask once the amicable, unstable banter and watery laughter had died down to a weary silence. 

"Overwhelmed I guess.... I just can't believe I am doing this.... it is bad I can't wait to snatch a newborn out of her mother's arms? Hell, she won't ever get to hold her- I spoke to the nurse of her....past, and now that she knows I will be the one to take her baby, well...."

"She can hurt her to get to you. You made the right call, Spencer" Emily murmured, turning the wheel as her eyes caught onto the lone figure of her best friend, bending over a payphone way too small for him. She was thankful she brought a towel with her- the alleged genius was soaking. And shivering. Though she had her doubts that the reason behind his visible quivering was just the cold. As she opened the door and gave him the biggest smile she could muster, she couldn't help the excitement that slowly blossomed in her gut. "Come on, genius. Let's meet my goddaughter."

_____

The towel was functioning like a shock blanket at this point. A soft layer of protection and comfort that covered a very anxious Spencer's shoulders as he had his eyes glued to his shaking, fidgeting hands. Emily reentered the waiting room carrying their second batch of coffees, and sighted as she noticed the way he frantically looked over his shoulder before restarting his staring competition with the floor. She had been worried Cat wasn't the only trigger pulling at his unstable pysche.

They were in the heart of a federal prison, mere meters away from the actual cells.

She was sure Spencer was wearing a tie before she left.

"I brought you decaf- you are already anxious enough." She placed his cup by his side, earning a scoff.

"You know caffeine has no effect on me anymore"

"Why did you drink our entire budget on longer cases, then?"

"Placebo effect." Spencer shrugged, but took a sip of his very boring drink anyways. His eyes were fixated on his cup as he spoke again "Did they tell you anything?"

Emily bit her lower lip, her hands tightening around her own cooling beverage. She had used the excuse of searching for coffee to have an actual glimpse of what was happening in the room next to them- the birth itself was fairly standard considering the circumstances. The only thing that stood up to her was what she couldn't tell Spencer-

Catherine, despite the pain and exertion of labor, was smirking the moment she noticed Emily's presence.

"Tell him I said hi", she had mouthed between contractions.

"It....might take a bit more. She is not fully dilated yet" Was what Emily said. 

"Oh, ok...." was Spencer's reply. Emily had worded her response as a carefully planted trigger for a long-winded rant about anything and everything about the process of giving birth- and yet, here he was, a ball of nerves and what she could deduce was the start of acute depression. It was easier to see when they weren't in the middle of a crisis.

It was truly starting to settle in that on Monday, his desk would be empty.

"I am sorry for...not telling you earlier. I know you'll have a lot to do, finding my replacement-"

At that, Emily had to snort "As if I could ever find anyone that could replace you regardless. But I agree it would have been nice to be prepared. We could have thrown a goodbye party- we still will by the way."

"That sounds nice" The corners of his mouth twitched- it wasn't quite a smile, but close enough. "I'll still stay here, by the way. Mom is adapting well to the new center she is and, well, um-" His voice cracked a bit at the last bit "I don't want to be away from you guys- even if we won't see each other nearly as much."

"Yeah... yeah... you know what, Spence?" At that, he turned toward her, eyebrows raised in a silent question. "I am proud of you."

"Even when I dragged you out of bed at 1:20 a.m because I wanted to take in my worst nightmare's daughter but couldn't go the full route without a nervous breakdown?" His quip came out more snappy than he wanted it to but he couldn't help it- the last time Emily said that was the last day he had as a free, mentally sound-ish man. Spencer didn't believe in bad luck- but he sure did believe in triggers, and even after tossing his tie off he still felt suffocated so it wasn't very appreciated.

Emily, however, was not even fazed by the outburst. She was expecting it. "I am serious, Spencer. You are doing something that takes a tremendous amount of strength. And the fact you called me because you knew you needed help, well, you are the one with the Eidetic Memory, fill in the blanks- and don't focus on the after, just the fact"

"It takes a tremendous amount of strength to care for family, and even more to ask for help."

Family.

"Oh my God...." Finally, after hours of trying to not break -too much- Spencer couldn't suppress the tears that built in his eyes already reddened eyes as the realization of why he was here, why he dragged his friend out of bed, why everything felt like too damn much-

He was going to become a father.

He had been thinking about this for months- he ever had a little room ready for the newborn, but he had been told to keep his expectations low. That this still was a fetus growing in a high-security prison, he of all people was acutely aware of everything that could go wrong in there, his ribs still ached from the times he was used as a punching bag.

And yet, here they were. 

"Yes, oh my God indeed" Emily chuckled, her own eyes far from wet for the second, but without a doubt, not the last time of the night as she grabbed Spencer hands shaking and held them in hers, letting him lay his head on her shoulders as a shockwave of awe, expectation, anxiety and joy filled his quivering form.

That was how the nurse greeted them a couple of hours later, a bright smile on her face. 

Phoebe Diana Reid was born on November 4th, 2018. 7:32 a.m. She weighed 6 pounds. 

She was absolutely perfect.

So perfect, in fact, that her adopted father had surprised his best friend by letting her mother see her before they left the prison. 

For a split second, he saw something in Cat's eyes- something akin to longing.

For a split second, he felt something akin to pity.

"Don't worry... I'll do my best so she doesn't end up like you."

"I am sure you will, Spencie, I am sure you will."

That was the last time they saw each other. 

_____

Emily decided to visit her ex-subordinate for the first time since they came back with little Phoebe. It has been a few busy months for the BAU- Spencer Reid's absence was more felt than ever, its permanency slowly sinking in. It was depressing to see his empty desk every morning, but they all knew it was for the better.

Spencer messaged them every day anyway. His aversion to technology pushed to the back when it came to showing them the very important moment of Phoeby raising her head, along with three paraphrases explaining why it mattered.

 Neither of them complained, she truly was adorable and his disjointed ramblings could be summarized as "look at my baby right now, she is awesome."

Emily shook her head at the latest pic he sent- it was of Phoebe laying on a fluffy, blue blanket -a present from J.J- next to her father as he was re-organizing the newest bookshelf in his room, filled with all sorts of fairytales and other children books for the infant that didn't even know of her own existence- lucky her.

 "Spence? It's me, Emily. Stop planning for Phoebe's future in Cambridge and open the door." 

Soon enough she heard the clicking behind all the chains that had to be undone to enter the Reid household and sighted. That was...another thing.

Before prison, Spencer only felt that he needed his gun in the field, when he wanted to make himself useful... after it, it had become a compulsive need to keep himself safe, to have some semblance of control in his life. That was how one service weapon became two. And now that he was no longer in law enforcement the two became zero. With nothing to protect his newborn but his wit and the closest blunt object he could get a hold of, and lingering PSDT, his door was now filled with all sorts of lockers and blockers that not even a forceful tackle could bug. A special present from Derek.

Whenever it was to appease Spencer's paranoia or his own it was a mystery, but everyone seemed happy regardless. 

Finally, the fire hazard opened as Spencer's big, exhausted eyes met hers. Having a baby and sleeping enough was never compatible with a normal person, let alone someone who had looked like an anemic raccoon since his 20s. "Emily? What are you doing here?"

"It's my free day so- I guess I decided to pass by and see how things are going." She stated as he stepped back and allowed her into his apartment. Turn out that it didn't have to be as "baby-proof" as she originally thought. Spencer had always thought about his place of rest as something that should be safe for vulnerable people- of course, when he designed it like he was thinking of his mother, rather than his child, but one of the very few perks of parentification is that you are pretty much a caretaker before puberty, so he was sort of ready for it. "Where is Phoebe?"

"On my room- and for your info, Cambridge is not in the life plan- I don't have contacts in Europe" Spencer pouted, already on a purposeful quest for the light of his eyes.

"Oh, but I do." Emily shrugged, sitting on the surprisingly unused couch. She knew Spencer had a thing for falling asleep there, since it kept his sleep enough to limit the access to any dream whatsoever- but Phoebe didn't like he had to relent and lay on his bed like a normal human being. She might not be helping his sleeping schedule but she sure was doing his spine a service. 

"Look who is here? It's Auntie Emily!...even though you are barely conscious enough to recognize faces, let alone names. Oh but you are doing such a good job at that, yes you are." Spencer cooed, holding Phoebe close as she giggled and babbled, a stuffed cow in her little hands. "They start to recognize other's names by about 7 to 9 months but recognize theirs as early as 4 to 6. So technically, she already knows she has the cutest name ever." He explained, an excited, infectious grin on his face that Emily couldn't help but imitate.

"That is great Spence, hi little Phoebe. Oh you are so adorable with those-" Her grin vanished as her eyes registered what her one and only godchild was wearing "Spencer, why is my girl wearing a fuc- freaking Chewbacca pajama?"

The baby girl was, in fact, cladded in a furry, brow onesie. Spencer frowned, offended. "It's actually an Ewok, they are considerably smaller than Chewbacca and-"

"Just don't dress her up like that for school and we are good." Emily deadpanned, accepting a very eager Phoebe back in her arms "Hi sweetie, so you recognize your name now, huh?"  A sudden thought struck her as she made sure to keep her hair out of said baby's grabby hands "Hey Spence, I always wondered...why Phoebe? Like what is the story behind the name- because I know there is one."

At that, Spencer's eyes shone as he took his daughter's tiny hand in his, his thumb rubbing the back of it with much care and gentleness, before he spoke again "Phoebe means Bright or Radiant in Greek. Everytime I think of the months I spent locked in a dark hole, I see her and- while it doesn't make the feeling go away- it gives me a reason to actually try, you know? A radiant light in the darkest night...so to speak..,"

And that was enough for Emily.

[yae-energy]

╰┈─✩ ˚ ‧ random thoughts : 2 ‧ ˚

✧˖° synopsis : more random hc’s cause why not (the manga is crushing my soul)

✧˖° cast and crew : yuta okkotsu, maki zenin

.ᐟ content warnings : cursing (cause when am i not)

⤑ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ authors note : idk yall i just wanted to post 😭 i got at least 3 more ideas i wanna do.

~

yuta <3

- really good at math for absolutely no reason at all, mental math specifically cause istg this man is like a fucking calculator

- was a nightcore kid (BADDDDDDDLYYY)

- used to be a really big harry potter fan for a while

- loves musicals. like, LOVES musicals

- will say a lot of stuff ironically to the point where it actually becomes unironic and it annoys everybody to hell and back. but he genuinely cannot stop 😭

- vocal stims with the most annoying tiktok audios

- loves carrots and hummus and doesn’t like celery

- he love’s halloween and always matches costumes with inumaki

- his biggest pet peeves are gum popping and squeaky noises. like he will genuinely get so pissed off if he hears either of those things

- is really good at board games & card games, like he’ll really whoop your ass in some uno tbh (which is why no one plays with him) and pls don’t let him get his hands on them draw 4’s or it’s absolutely over for everybody. (and it’s even worse if they’re playing train. like he loses friends afterwards)

*before each turn he’s like “😬 sorry guyssss” (he’s in fact, not sorry)

*also is unnecessarily good at monopoly, like he racks up all the properties so quickly and everyone always thinks he’s cheating

- has really bad eczema (mainly gets it on his neck and it’s reallyyyyyy bad in the winter)

—

maki <3

- lactose (and still consumes dairy but like…at what cost girlie ☹️)

*also has horrible indigestion

- likes strawberries but hates strawberry flavored things. do NOT give her no strawberry flavored NOTHING or she will fight you

- is a sparkling water enjoyer (inumaki and panda clown her for this everyday and have been since they met her)

- doesn’t like bananas, she has a visceral HATRED for them i tell you. nobody knows why either but that’s just the way it is.

- COFFEE LOVERRRR (loads that shit up with creamer and sugar)

- loves doing crossword puzzles (and puzzles in general)

- really good at chess and ESPECIALLY checkers (she’s just really good at most games tbh, she doesn’t know how either)

- her glasses are always dirty LMAO (same girlie, same)

- really likes baseball, like really really likes it 😭

- adding onto the coffee one: she is an ice coffee FANN. everytime she’s mad one of the second years brings her an iced coffee and she’s completely ok again.

- she’s a dnd girlieeee !!! and she plays with yuta and inumaki when they all have time

- hates reading anything because she just doesn’t feel like it (and she’s impatient) so she gets yuta to read it for her 😭

- is one of those people where if you ask her to do something she’ll instantly say no but do it anyways 💀

- really good at mimicking people’s voices and copying signatures (like it’s actually terrifying)

⤑ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ tags : @morosis-haze @jogeto @mypimpademia @zairene @planetlunaa @cosmiles @milesmolasses @chinieh @romiantic @stqrriichiigo

if you wish to be tagged in any future works, here’s my tag form to fill out <33

if you wish to submit a request, here’s my ask box :)

⤑ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ closing notes : took wayyyyy longer than i needed to finish this ! (just the life of being an adhd girlie 😋‼️) but pt.2 to this will come out shortly

also notice how i cannot SHUT THE FUCKKK up about these two like they did NOT need to be this long, do i care though? not really !!

now i’m onto these fuck ass tags 🙄

anyhow, love y’all 🫶🏽

update as of posting : it did take me over a month to post this i won’t lie…mb 😭

- xoxo, yves <3

[kvhasproblems]

Boy Next Door - Part 3

Main Masterlist, Series Masterlist

Part 2 - Part 4

Van x Reader

Summery: My whole life seemed to be perfectly planned out for me, the perfect family, the perfect house with a white picket fence, the perfect boy next door… the only problem is I can’t seem to take my mind off my best friend…

Warnings: major homphobia, slurs, subtle racism, horrible parents, discussions of an attempted forced kiss

A/n: ok i meant to post this a long time ago but then my life lowkey fell apart, why is the curse of being a fanfic writer real lmao

Word Count: 2,869 (lol)

very subtle background lottie/nat and jackie/shauna

I got home just before my curfew was up with a sigh of relief.

"What kept you so late?" My mother calls from the kitchen as I'm passing.

"Jackie kept interrupting our studying with her boy problems, so it took us longer than we thought to read the chapters." I lied through my teeth, hoping the on-the-spot excuse was convincing enough.

"Oh, that girl and her doe eyes are bound to have boys falling for her, that's for sure." My mother laughed to herself before going back to wiping the counter. "You get up to bed now; you have school tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Mom. I love you!" I call as I walk up the stairs.

I don't miss how she doesn't say it back.

"At 6? Ok. I'll see you then! Bye!" I hung up the phone after untwisting the cord that I wrapped around my finger.

"Who was that?" My mother's voice cut through my happy daze. She stood in my doorway, her spying disguised as curiosity.

"OH! Hi mom. It was… just Lottie. She asked if I could come to the movies with her and Tai." My mother's nose wrinkled at the sound of Tai's name. I keep a neutral face despite the way her reaction makes my stomach twist.

"Hmmm, alright, well, don't be too late; we have brunch next door tomorrow morning at 10!"

"I won't be out past curfew!" I call, already getting up and running to my drawers to find an outfit to wear.

It had taken a while to convince my mother not to drive me. As I rolled up to the theatre, my eyes found her immediately. She stands along the postered display wall, rocking back and forth on her heels, looking around occasionally, waiting for me. At her next check, she spots and waves to me before making her way over to the bike rack where I was chaining up my bike.

We stood in line at the snack corner. Tonight was surprisingly busy, and the line was annoying long.

"I can't believe you haven't seen Jurassic Park yet!" Van talked excitedly, filling the wait time with fun facts about the movie she'd read about in a magazine. "I mean, the movie came out months ago; you're lucky they are still showing it."

"I was supposed to go with Jackie, Shauna and them, but once we got here, they dragged me to The Firm."

"Why did they wanna see The Firm?" Van scrunched her nose, wondering more out loud than she meant to.

"Something about impressing boys by watching R-rated movies."

She rolled her eyes dramatically. "Sounds like them."

"I thought their whole reasoning was dumb; it wasn't a bad movie though." I countered while shoving her lightly with my shoulder, smiles across both our faces.

"It's definitely not as good as Jurassic Park." She bumped me back.

"I don't know Jackie screaming the whole time made for a pretty good movie." I went to bump into her again, but she dodged me at the last second, sending me stumbling for a brief moment before her warm hands grabbed my shoulders, helping me steady myself, all while we laughed up a storm. My giggles almost get caught in my throat as I look up and realize how close our faces are. Close enough, I can feel the tickle of her warm breath against my face.

"NEXT!" The grouchy teen working the canteen shouted, fed up with trying to get our attention politely. Van quickly stumbled to the side, motioning to me to go first. My cheeks were still pink as I walked up to the counter.

"Two tickets to Jurassic Park, please!"

"Hey, wait! I can buy my own ticket!"

"Van, you're my best friend, and I just got my allowance for the month." I ignore the rest of her grumbling protests and turn back to the canteen. "One regular popcorn and a coke, please."

I move to the side so Van can order, but she just comes to stand by me.

"You not getting anything?"

"Nah... I don't even like popcorn that much anyway."

I just nod, but I don't miss the way her eyes track my popcorn as the worker hands it to me. It's also hard to believe her as her hand keeps bumping into mine as she steels from my bag throughout the movie. I couldn't even be annoyed if I wanted to. Her laughs and reactions to the film make me way happier than any popcorn does. I try to focus on the movie, but I keep thinking about how blue her eyes look when my face is way too close to hers.

The memory continued to dance around the forefront of my mind, her hands on my shoulders keeping me upright, close, the way her eyes seemed endless, the slight warmth on my face from her breath-

Steven's hand grabs my arm, shocking me back into the moment. I look around the table, everyone with expectant glances.

"You were asked to pass the syrup to Mrs. Fraser." my mother practically glares at me. I internally cringe.

"Oh, sorry.. here you go." I shook Steven's hand from my arm while passing Mrs. Fraser the syrup bottle. I tried to ignore the way my skin crawled at his touch. I haven't talked to him since he tried to kiss me at that party. Steven's father breaks the silence.

"So, y/n, when's soccer tryouts this year? You gunning for Varsity?" He asked before shoving some French toast in his mouth. Steven coughed and quickly reached for his orange juice as I cringed beside him. Of course, he had to bring up Varsity… stupid rumour. Stupid girls.

"Tryouts are 2 weeks on Monday, and yeah… being on varsity in freshman year would be great." I don't elaborate more than that much to Mr. Fraser's disappointment. He always asks for updates on how soccer's going; I'm not sure if he's trying to make Steven feel guilty for quitting or to live through me instead of his own son.

"Well, you gotta tell me if you think you have any real competition at tryouts, if they can keep up with you, I say you got a real shot at states this year. You know, back in my day, my team almost won States." He continued to ramble about his glory soccer days despite the fact that I've heard this story a thousand times.

As we finish the brunch, I help by picking up plates and dishes to bring to the kitchen.

"Y/n, wash the dishes for Mrs. Fraser, please." My mother called from the dining hall.

"Of course!" I put on my cheeriest voice. I hate washing dishes, but at least I can avoid any more awkward conversations. I start to run the water as I get the drying rack set up.

"Here, let me help." Steven brushed past my side to grab a drying rag. My heart sank in my chest, god I don't want to have any awkward conversations about what happened. I began washing to give my hands something to do, praying Steven will just stay quiet the whole time.

"Look, about what happ-"I cut him off quickly.

"We don't have to talk about it."

"I wanted to apologize. I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry."

"It's o-" I stop before I can brush off his apology, sighing I start again. "It's just that you've been my friend for as long as I can remember; I just was confused, I guess."

"Oh, yeah… I just needed to apologize; I didn't want things to be awkward; like you said, you've been my… friend as long as I can remember." He refused to actually look at me as he grabbed the dish from my hand. Just before an awkward silence could creep in, Steven turned to me.

"Oh, you got something on your face there." He pointed towards my cheek.

"Where?" I tried to reach for the cloth so I could dry my hands, but Steven held it away from me.

"Here, let me get it."

"Ok, than-"

Steven quickly scooped soap bubbles from the top of the water before smearing them across my face. I jumped back, letting out a yelp of surprise.

"Oh, it's so on now!" I challenged scooping up bubbles to throw at him.

We ended up with a larger mess to clean than we started with, but I'm glad it made things feel normal again. Steven being Steven, my friend who throws soap at me, not some boy who tries to kiss me at a party.

At 15 I found myself lying to my mother the most I ever have as I had hung out with Van 3 more times since we saw Jurassic Park. My current up-and-running lie was Shauna's study group, which "most definitely" exists. I was meeting Nat and Van at the fields at the school. With tryouts coming up in 2 days, we thought it would be good if we got some extra practice in. We were doing a late-night practice because Van had a shift at the bowling alley till 8. It takes me about 20 minutes to bike to school, meaning that I only really have about an hour to practice to make sure I get home before my 10 o'clock curfew.

When I got there, Nat was already there dribbling and juggling the ball.

"Hey, Nat." I threw my bags down by the goalpost before jogging up to her. We lightly pass the ball back and forth and chat while we wait for Van.

The sound of faraway grumbles and shouts drew my attention away from our mini scrimmage, which was basically just play fighting at that point. Nat took the opportunity to bodycheck me and run away with the ball.

"HA! Got yo-" she paused as she heard it too. "Van!?" She called out as Van rounded the corner, practically carrying her bike.

I abandon Nat and run to help Van with her bike. The stupid thing was too big and too old, a hand me down from an older neighbour whose son grew out of it.

"What happened this time?" I say with a small smile while grabbing the front of the bike to make carrying it easier.

"God, you wouldn't believe it. first, the fucking chain popped off, and I had already got off work late, so I threw it back on as fast as I could, and then I rushed to get here, and I must have run over something because my front tire is now completely flat." She threw her arms around while telling the story once we set the bike down with our bags. "I just gave up riding, and I thought carrying it would be easier, but I forgot this thing weighs a million pounds." She rolled her eyes while pulling her cleats and gloves out of her bag.

Nat, who had been trying to muffle her laughter, finally bursts as Van kicks the bike once more before sitting down to put on her shoes.

"OH shut up!" Van chucked a shoe at Nat, who then picked it up and ran away. "OH, YOU-"Despite only having one regular shoe and an undone cleat, Van sprinted after Nat, who was much slower than normal due to her laughter. Just as Van was closing in on the shoe, I ran towards them.

"NAT! OVER HERE!" I waved my arms, signalling to her as she tossed the shoe to me. Van's grumbles were impossible to take seriously, with the biggest grin on her face as we played this sort of monkey-in-the-middle tag. It was probably another 30 minutes before we even got to any sort of real practice.

"Fuck! I totally thought I had that one. I swear you teleport around that goal." I grumbled light-heartedly as Van saved another one of my attempts to score.

"I'm just too good." Van rolled her shoulders and faked a yawn.

"I, for one, would be able to aim better if I could actually see the goalposts." Nat

"Shit yeah, it's getting pretty late," Van commented, looking around at just how dark it's gotten in the past 90 minutes ish of playing.

Dark. HOLY FUCK, ITS DARK DARK OUT!!

It hit me like a ton of bricks. I scrambled to my bag, throwing off my cleats to change my shoes.

"I gotta go like now! I'm so late!" I shoved my shoes into my bag. "God, I'm gonna be so dead when I get home."

Van and Nat gave me a sympathetic glance before bidding their goodbyes as I sped off.

I tore around the corner onto my street, peddling as fast as I could. I was so totally screwed. My mom is most definitely freaking out right now. I tried to come up with a reason for why I'd be home so late.

Jackie was having boy trouble and wanted to get ice cream?

Shauna realized she forgot a bio test and needed extra help studying?

My head was spinning. None of those were good enough.

I couldn't even remember what my original lie was.

I pulled into my driveway, and that's when I saw her. Standing on the front steps with my father and Steven of all people.

"Fuck…" I mumbled under my breath.

My mother, who was pacing, stopped dead in her tracks, glaring at me with harsh, angry eyes. My father came down from the porch and took my bike from me as I stepped off it.

"I-"

"Just get inside."

I didn't bother with a verbal response, instead fleeing to the stairs to be met by my mom, giving Steven a quick hug.

"Thank you so much for your help." She told him. He nodded before turning to me. He didn't say anything; he just mouthed sorry and put his hand on my shoulder quickly before heading down the stairs. I watched him walk away. I don't know what he's sorry for, I got myself into this mess.

I was pulled from my thoughts as her hand grips my bicep. Her touch burns as if a hot poker is being pressed into my skin, and I'm sure I will have a bruise once she removes her hand. I try to pull my arm away as she drags me into the house, her face as red as my skin feels.

"Mom! Mom, please stop; you're hurting me!" At that, she shoves me forward before slamming the door.

There was a silence. A stare down of sorts, and when she first speaks, it's so quiet.

"I've let you get away with so much. I thought that if I gave you time… if I let you work this out of your system that, you'd be fine. But I was wrong. I knew I should have trusted my gut. I let you leave this house. THIS HOUSE THAT I AND YOUR FATHER HAVE WORKED SO HARD FOR. I GAVE YOU MY TRUST AND YOU," She gasps, taking in air, "AND YOU THROW IT IN MY FACE. RUNNING AROUND WITH THAT TRAILER TRASH BEHIND MY BACK!! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU LIED TO ME!"

My blood felt like ice in my veins as I found it hard to take in a breath. Tears sprang to my eyes at her yells. I couldn't bring myself to answer her. My voice frozen in my chest; I'm sure I stood there gaping. My mouth opening and closing like a fish hung cruelly out of water.

"How many times have you lied to me." Gone was her manic yelling; this was much scarier, her eyes dark face set. "Don't make me repeat myself again."

I stumbled for an answer, and her growing impatience had me losing my train of thought.

"I- I don't know for sure.. not that much, I swear." She started to advance on me. I stumbled for a way to give her what she wanted. "Once this summer to go to a party." I was talking fast, my voice raising in pitch. "Tonight! Two times last week! Once the week before! Last May, after we lost that big game! AND END OF YEAR PARTY! MY SCIENCE GRADE BEFORE EXTRA CRED-" My rambling was halted, words slapped from my mouth. She looked slightly shocked as she looked at her hand. Part of me wondered if it stung as much as my face. Another part of me hoped it did.

"Here's what's going to happen. You are going to stop hanging out with that dyke on your soccer team. I didn't raise you to be a fucking faggot!" She spits her words so violently, and the same burning rage I felt in the cafeteria bubbled up to the surface. "and speaking of soccer, you're done!"

"WHAT!" Any rage I had quickly boiled to fear.

"DONE! IF I SO MUCH AS CATCH YOU RUNNING, YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED OUT OF THIS HOUSE AGAIN!"

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS! PLEASE! IT'S ALL I HAVE!"

"DON'T YOU RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME!"

It was eerily silent for a moment. As I stared back at her.

"Please…" I tried to keep my voice even and steady, but it came out as more of a whimper.

[thegongoozlerreacts]

Dead Plate (Part 2)

OK so its been a month since the last time ive played Dead Plate and uhh oops!! my bad !!

in my defense life has gotten very busy for me especially since its the holidays but now i finally have the time to finish this game and get at least one ending!! (hopefully)

spoilers under the cut

back to day 5 where i struggled so incredibly hard

the amount of times ive played through day 4's nightmare sequence is killing me

bro. how do i pass this level without losing a customer

NOOO I WAS SO CLOSE WHYYY. PLEASE. literally i was doing so well but i took too long for the 4 table orders ugh <//3

i wish you could see like, a patience meter for the customers or something

maybe i should try using the item that slows down how impatient they get

YESSS FINALLY!!! I DID IT I FINALLY DID IT!!

what is that weird squelching sound.

still here even though the shift is over and the sounds i am hearing are concerning to say the least

what if... i just leave ok i cant leave

boss's office? also i just noticed the timer ticking down uhh

can i just leave please why is the timer ticking down wtf do i do???

also lots of interesting things in that office

was the review on the waiter about Rody? if so ouch man thats harsh

NOOOOO OH MY GOD...... I ACCIDENTALLY QUIT I HAVE TO DO DAY 5 ALL OVER AGAIN ARE YOU KIDDING ME

ok well. at least now i know my key to success is the cologne

ok so Rody had an interesting reaction to the crumpled up picture of Vince and a woman so maybe he knows who she is? is this the 'her' that you can sorta not really call on the telephone??? or is he just surprised to find love letters in the trash

anyways its telling me the sounds are coming from the freezer but idk where to go from here

LMAO the sound signalling the end of the day jumpscared me askhjdakj

at least the food looks tasty

what was that whole thing about tho? what was going on in the freezer??

back home, looked out the window and i noticed you can see someone's silhouette in the background windows

i dont know if that was always there and i just missed it but very interesting

FINALLY a new nightmare

bro he was in an oven?? why ?? damn Rody's nightmares are like really creepy akladjalks

another day another dollar

damn. im gonna struggle once again because there is a LOT of customers and like i am just sooo. ksfdjslkdj whatevr kakayanin !! lets go guys

my hands are so sweaty akladh

another successful day and another tasty dish ....my fingers hurt LMAO

looked out the window and yep alright the person's silhouette isnt always there

huh. interesting nightmare it was Vince eating him and like damn that actually scared me lskjd

shorter than previous nightmares

well onto day 7 another day another dollar

lets go!! i am winning!!! only had to retry once this day!!

BROSKI JUST QUIT?!?!?

ohhh so the woman is named Manon

aww i feel so bad for this guy :(( the girl isnt picking up i wonder why tho? like does she just not like him anymore and he just needs to give up on her or is it cuz of smth w Vince (shes probably the girl from the crumpled photo in the trash right?)

damn the phone just ringing while the credits are playing

ouch :((

alright then time to get the other endings!! to do this i will be following the ending guide bc my brain is not big enough to figure it out by myself lmao

ive opened up the official ending guide and oho? you can actually get a phone call from Manon? cool i will try that out first

restarting all the way to day 1 bc i miss how easy it was

yk an interesting thing that was introduced in the tutorial that i havent experienced yet is the customers asking questions

oh hey!! i kept the stuff that i purchased in my previous run?? really?? awesomeee

ooh hey!! i kept the dishes from previous runs too!! cool

ok its day 3 now and i have to take out the trash to activate the cutscene

ok went through that whole baffling ordeal of getting slapped

also!! i chatted with Vince on day 3 and like. idk their chats are just funny to me

also like there might be something wrong with me but i am lowkey shipping Rody and Vincent together kadjlksd this is something that happened in Elevator Hitch where i started lowkey shipping the two main characters oopsies

anyways!! moving swiftly onwards!!

um. my guy disappeared after i checked the fridge

oh shit new cutscene

BRO ??? UM ????? well that was scary uhh. damn

oh the boss isnt in the kitchen anymore wait i didnt get to do all the dialogue options that are needed!! no!! does this mean i need to redo this whole day in order to get the phone call event???

better safe than sorry i guess

ok so interestingly when Rody asked Vince if he liked his job, he didnt answer the question he just changed the subject and made fun of Rody LOL

the 'can you give me a raise' question gives some more details on Manon and what Rody thinks of her (he is a grade A simp bro)

the 'are you single' question is interesting to me just bc Rody the simp has issues w Vince being like 'meh' on romance and tbh im with Vince on romance not being the end-all-be-all

THAT IS DEFINITELY NOT A STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE

IS IT CUZ I FED THE RAT CHEESE INSTEAD OF SCARING IT AWAY OR SMTH???

EW ITS IN THE FRIDGE AND THE REAL ONE I HAD BEFORE IS GONE NOOOOOOO

Vince: I haven't got any sense of taste. Rody: Yeah I could see the decorations out there-

LMFAOOO RODYYY

bro now i am sad that i missed out on these gold interactions between them on my first run this is so funny

also they both didnt really have any proper answers for what their favorite food is Vince was like 'eh i dont have any since i cant taste stuff idk lemons or smth' while Rody was like 'i just like whatever my girlfriend likes'

very interesting how Rody is like obsessed(?) with Manon

then when asking Vince what he's reading, he just straight-up lies about what the reviews are saying about Rody lmfaoooo

anyways now for the creepy night restaurant segment and going back in Vince's office to check out the possible Manon love letters in the trash

i just realized the croque madames are like. rotten cuz they have flies flying around it which ew! yuck! why is it like that

well. nothing i can do about it so next day i guess!! oh hey wait i can now afford the matches which i will be needing for ending 3! nice

OK NOW I HAVE REACHED THE PHONE CALL

damn ok so its not Manon but its Vince inviting Rody to a dinner party!! nice !!

LMFAOOOO HE INVITED RODY TO MAKE HIM WORK VINCE I CANT BELIEVE YOU!!

Rody you are so embarrassing but its ok bc ur really funny anyways!! getting interesting lore on Vince and Rody!!

one of Rody's old classmates was there, and then another guest said that either Vince must really like Rody to have him there at the party or is incredibly desperate akldskl (since she said that Rody's outfit sucks LOL)

ooh ok so. Rody is desperate and a bit delusional my bro u gotta let go of that girl bc apparently she dumped you already so like. stop bro

dkjhskas nooo ive served all the guests and theres nothing left to do except snoop around in Vincent's bedroom agh!! agh!!!!!

bro when i go in the room the music just disappears wtf

UM? HELLO??? BRO THAT SCARED ME DSKJKSDJ

i knew this was going to happenn aughjahkj

BRO THE MUSIC IS JUST GONE AJKSDFK not Rody asking what happened like he didnt just steal smth from Vince and pretty much get caught in the act 😭😭😭

well ok then so that happened

actually you know, now that im thinking about it, its kinda weird that Vince threw Manon's letters in the trash does that mean she is pursuing him romantically but he like just doesnt care or what??

i am inside and i am afraid cuz the game asked 'are you sure?' when i clicked 'go inside' broooo

oh hey its Manon and Rody WAIT WHY IS THIS LOCKET IN HERE ?? DID VINCE KILL HER ??

ASKHDKAS OH FUCKK OH NO

bro thats so like. sadistic leaving him tied up and telling him he can live if he runs away but like he can only crawl across the floor

i see why the matches are needed for this part

gee wow thanks game

ok now this time im bringing the matches with me

ok so ive burned away the ropes but im still trapped inside cuz he locked the freezer aghhh

what the heck do i do?? oh nvm i found bags of flour, i can use these to reach the cooler

so i have to stop the fans of the cooler, probably by putting something in it

can i take the saw out?? oh wait theres a switch LOL

ok so ive use the saw to cut the meat off and now ive got animal bones

ive jammed the bones in the fans and now i can break open the window wow

SHIT GOT CAUGHT BY VINCE

DID HE JUST BITE A PIECE OF MY FLESH?!??!

oh my god. he killed and cooked her to feed to Rody i. wHY???

oh so he ate Rody's ear i am shook wtf

bro Rody just severely pissed this guy off by telling him he never ate his food i feel it in my bones also makes sense why its just sitting in his fridge

Rody really hitting this guy where it hurts damn i mean its deserved cuz of like the whole thing

i accidentally got ending 4 since i messed up a QTE but damn. damn that was wild and also this is gross

something i didnt mention earlier but i noticed that there was a grilled hanger steak on the table, which is the dish when you get ending 1 would the other dishes i got in past endings show up when i got them? but i got ending 2 and the dish from that didnt show up so maybe its just a little detail for ending 1 wait was the steak made out of Manon. oh boy that makes that ending a lil more fucked up

ok going back to the chase sequence

BRO RODY JUST KILLED HIM

so i went into Vince's office, surprisingly did not get chased inside and then i picked up the broken bottle and now Rody's just killed the guy

got the restaurant key

bestie like. theyre gonna arrest u if u just leave and never say anything please explain the situation to the police or smth

why is the game not letting me leave. what do you mean revenge is best served cold. does the game want me to put Vince in the freezer!??!?!

yep the steak is def Manon

why r u not letting me leave wtf do i do

trying to read the comments on the game's page on itch.io and the amount of people going 'when will they kiss' 'kiss ending when' im laughing

like even tho all this horrible shit just happened i still lowkey ship Vince and Rody oopsies. toxic yaoi LOLOLOL

i have no idea what to do now so i am just gonna look up a guide rq

ok i need to get the cooking oil

he's burning this place to the ground

wait was Vince still alive after getting stabbed repeatedly???? his eye moved when Rody was pouring oil on him and i mean the game did say that his eyes are still following you

oh bro after-credits cutscene with Manon???

aww ok my opinion of Manon has greatly improved cuz she broke up w Rody cuz he was destroying himself for her she realized that she wasnt good for him and like, for the greater good of his mental health they cant be together

its burnt and also its lemon, which is what Vince said was his favorite food

OH HEY IT CHANGED

actually i did notice that after ending 3 it was snowy

damn

well, thats the end of my playthrough on Dead Plate

honestly, it was a very fun and enjoyable game! i liked the serving aspect even tho i kinda sucked at it and like i also really liked Rody and Vince despite all that just happened those two are seriously fucked up and i love them LOLOL

the music was really good and made up for having to redo day 5 over and over again alskdjh i was jamming most of the time to the music the art was also really good! i liked how cute the pixel sprites were, and then like the art for the portraits and CGs and everything was also really good! i really enjoyed the art style and music

the story was interesting, and i liked it too the twist was wild and blew my mind but i am still a massive fan of Vincent x Rody JKDAHSDKJ

i like how there was a cannibalism twist but Vincent wasnt actually like, an actual cannibal he was just insane and planning on making Rody an unknowing cannibal

i know he ate Rody's ear but like. he said that he doesnt eat people on the regular so yk he's just fucked up

also its really funny reading all the comments and seeing a lot of Vincent x Rody stuff LMFAOOO so true of everybody honestly

HELP I FOUND A COMMENT THAT SAID THEY NOTICED EVERY PIC WITH VINCE IN IT (on the store page) HAS HIM LOOKING AT RODY LDSJHSFLSDKN THE SHIP IS SO REAL!!!

ok sorry enough of that

overall, 10/10 would play again solely for the server gameplay (would be cool to have a kind of endless mode where you just serve customers until one leaves or something) and also because i love these characters

thats all for today and probably for this month LOL byebye!!

[airenyah]

get to know me ask game

considering i was tagged by 4 different people (@lurkingteapot, @recentadultburnout, @telomeke, @nongnaos -- thank you guys <3) in the last two-ish weeks i think it's about time i finally get to this. sorry i'm late dfkgkldfgkldf

RULES: bold the ones that are true and tag some people to do it.

APPEARANCE

Blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing [it's just so much more comfy lbr] // I have one or more piercings // I have at least one tattoo // I have dyed or highlighted my hair [i had red highlights as a child and i've gone blonde twice] // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces // I sunburn easily // I have freckles // I paint my nails [sort of -- i used to for quite a while bc it's the only thing stopping me from my horrible nail biting habit but unfortunately i got lazy during lockdowns and now i hardly paint them anymore] // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball hats backwards

HOBBIES AND TALENTS

I play a sport // I can play an instrument [i've played the violin on and off since i was 5 years old (currently at 3 years of lessons since my last break), i also played the piano from age 7 to 19 and the recorder from age 6 to 15 (that is soprano recorder, alto recorder, tenor recorder and even bass recorder for a semester or so)] // I am artistic [i'd say so... i mean i'm not the most talented person but i HAVE worked as a professional graphic designer for a year and a half and i sometimes make gifs (if you want to see them then search for the tag meine grafiken on my blog)] // I know more than one language [lmao i mean... i'm not a monolingual english speaker so... ok but in all seriousness: my native language is german/austrian dialect and obviously i know english. part of my family is italian so i know conversational italian as well (plus it's one of my working languages at uni). i can understand conversational norwegian and i'm slowly starting to understand more and more conversational thai (i'm at a point where i can watch a lot of shows without subtitles and understand the main plot, even if i miss some details) i had french in school and remember some basics (like how to introduce myself and some specific vocabulary like colours or numbers) and i've also looked into korean so i can read it and i know some basic grammar and a few words here and there] // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim [perks of being part italian means that unlike most austrians i actually learned how to swim in the mediterranean sea hehehe] // I enjoy writing [kinda?? i enjoyed writing stories in school but i never really write in my free time although sometimes i think i'd like to. but then when i sit down to do it i just never have any ideas and so i give up] // I can do origami // I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing [i went to an elementary school with a music focus which is why i played 3 instruments and my class was also a choir. i also took group singing lessons at the local music school in my teens. if i had the time and the money i'd get some solo singing lessons. i've considered looking into it for the coming winter semester] // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with friends [i love them so much 🥺🥺🥺] // I travel during work or school breaks [i love traveling internationally when i can afford it. i also travel within austria sometimes, especially since they introduced the klimaticket which is a ticket that lets you use a whole bunch of public transports from trains to trams to busses all around austria. every few months i go visit my friend who studies in southern austria] // I can do a handstand

RELATIONSHIP

I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year [i don't really care much for dating and relationships tbh] // I have a crush // I have a best friend who I’ve known for ten years [we met at summer camp 12 years ago and we're celebrating our 10 year anniversary of being best friends this winter -- hi @magsimags ily] // my parents are together [i don't understand how but somehow they've made it work for lthe past 30ish years idk] // I have dated my best friend // I am adopted // My crush has confessed to me // I have a long distance relationship // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends [i mean if it comes up or if they actively ask for it then sure] // I have made an online friend [a few actually, i've made quite a few online fandom friends and then i also have a few online language tandem friends] // I met up with someone I have met online [i've met up with a bunch of language tandem partners irl that i found online first. as for my tumblr mutuals, there are 4 in total that i've seen irl -- you know who you are <333]

AESTHETICS

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sun rise [let me be clear, it was bc i pulled an all-nighter or was suffering from insomnia. NOT bc i'd voluntarily get up at an insane hour in the morning to watch the sun rise. plus in the winter it's a lot easier to watch the sun rise without meaning to bc if you happen to have class or work early in the morning you might actually get to see it rise while you're on your way there] // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars [one time during summer camp we spent the night on a field underneath the stars, it was very lovely] // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me [i like spring!! i like summer!! i like warmth!! chirping means it's spring or summer and warm!!!!] // I enjoy the smell of the beach [i spent a significant amount of time at the mediterranean sea when i was a child and i miss the sea so fucking much. unfortunately austria is a landlocked country] // I know what snow tastes like [it snows in the winter in austria, you can bet your ass i've eaten snow as a child] // I listen to music to fall asleep // I enjoy thunderstorms [only in the summer tho and when i'm safe and sound inside and it's not keeping me up in the middle of the night when i'm trying to sleep] // I enjoy cloud watching [kinda!! i mean the sky is so pretty like!!!!] // I have attended a bonfire [not big ones but we regularly had fires at summer camp] // I pay close attention to colors // I find mystery in the ocean [idk if i'd say i find mystery in the ocean but i sure find it fascinating] // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favorite season

MISCELLANEOUS

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // I am the mom friend [around certain people i absolutely turn into the mom friend, but not around everyone so i won't make this red] // I live by a certain quote [yeah "wenn's passt, dann passt's". it's tricky to translate, something like "if it's a good fit, it'll work out". the literal meaning is "if it fits, it fits" or "if it works out, it works out"] // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep [sometimes?????] // I sing in the shower // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least 3 dogs

since i'm late to the party i have absolutely no idea who's gotten tagged already so if you've done this already or don't want to do it at all feel free to ignore!!

tagging: @solo-silenzio @magsimags @newyearknwwme @killiru @gaym3bo1 @elnotwoods @swabianhotpocket @cornflowershade @gillianthecat

[satocidal]

Hey Hey Rome! Since I'm here to cheer you up, let me ask some questions! Hopefully, this helps just a little :D

1.) What was the 1st fanfic you've ever read? And what was it about?

2.) Would you rather be hopeless romantic or hopeful unromantic? And why?

3.) Antique or brand new? And why?

4.) What's the dad joke of the day? :)

5.) What's your usual order of a Starbucks drink? And would you recommend it for others to try?

6.) Any song recommendations?

7.) What has been the best highlight of your day/evening/night?

8.) What's something you cherish the most in friendships? And why?

9.) What's the most embarrassing thing that happened to you, but you laugh about it now thinking of it?

10.) Apart from Tumblr, what's something you enjoy doing in your spare time?

[Ooo kinda outdid myself lol sorry about that 😅]

Skshskaja it took me a while to answer lmao

Answer undercut<3

So….the first fanfic I ever read was something about Harry Potter I guess😭😭😭like not even Harry guys. It was his dad’s—like James Potter with an oc or reader idk but like💀💀 peak da fiction years for me (when I was 11? And I remember being weirded out by reading them kiss lololol)

Did you mean hopeful romantic here? But like neither exactly? Wait if it could be, hopeless unromantic<3 because like I do get crushes but it’s not the deep kind and I know nothing will last about these things (my coping mechanism) but then I Di want something deep but then I can’t commit💀

Antique when things of use—brand new when things of daily use lmao

Is it bad that I don’t know any😭😭?

Sooo lmao. The place I live, it recently had a Starbucks open (the first one) and like it’s way too far from my house so I’ve technically never had Starbucks😭😭 but ike ig have a pink drink or smn💀

Ok ok cashew by Jude York (I’ve been listening to mostly Hindi songs these days so i can’t remember any goods English ones😭)

I went back to my school to get projects<3 doesn’t the first half of the day with my best friend after like 3 months so yes that ofc

Quality time. I think it’s very necessary. Like for someone such as me I need that attention and I love providing it so being ignored or like stuff makes me annoyed and over think (I suppose it’s clingy and I understand people need space) but yes. So mainly I just keep to myself lmao

I confessed to my crush AFTER I got over him and then an year later had to help him get with my bsf (who didn’t like him) stupid shit😭

I like maths💀a lot. Like if I have nothing to Do I will do it. Just like shamelessly everywhere—every surface

[scattered-winter]

ohhhh unpopular opinion rating!! lmao ok i will just let out saggome things cuz i too need to bitch to somebody, feel free to ignore this if you ain't feeling this tho ❤️ laugh love etc xD

1.) i liked the donor-not-dad storyline because it showed that no matter the circumstances of your conception and birth, you deserve to be loved unconditionally by your parents. i think that this will ultimately help buck to find peace with his own backstory 😭

2.) buck id not regress for choosing to date natalia?! we saw buck happily choose to only have an armchair for months after taylor (meaning he was okay with being alone), and he happily accepted his parents buying him a couch (showing that they are closer and buck is happy to have them in his life more). he went at his own pace, and we clearly see that by immediately choosing to get a new couch after the childbirth, he is finally at a place where he is ready for somebody new in his life. plus, he is the one buying his own couch, simply inviting natalia along, which is a beautiful metaphor imo

3.) alternatively, choosing eddie's couch would have been a regression even though buddies love to ignore that. buck said his past girlfriends "came with couches", meaning that those couches were not his in the first place and that none of them truly met them where he is at. we see that well with buck having no couch because taylor took hers with her when she left. buck choosing somebody else's couch again would have shown that he has not learned a lesson. so there.

3.) i think that natalia coming off strong at first is actually paralleling buck perfectly? he comes off strong, overshares often, and tends to overwhelms others. people judge her for it but… buck did worse in their second date lmao

4.) natalia stepping into buck's scary mess during the childbirth scene showed literally and metaphorically how she was willing to accept all of buck, his life and past and baggage

5.) the characters saying shit does not mean they are all-knowing! 🙄 yes, eddie said that meeting people on a call is bad, but we also know that bobby and athena met on a call and are endgame. we see these characters contradicting themselves a lot because that's how humans are. the fandom gotta stop taking the characters' words like the word of a god. the narrative's entire point is to teach them (and us) that their way of thinking may be bullshit sometimes

6.) i liked the finale. lmao 😂

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

SAY ALL THAAAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! god you're so right especially with the buddie/natalia stuff ohh my godfddd. gonna respond to these in the order u said them btw <3 because u have SO many good thoughts here and I wanna get into them

1) I also love the sperm donor storyline!! I was a little squicked at first but that was more of a "this arc has sexual themes involving pregnancy that make me, personally, kind of uncomfortable for ace reasons" than anything else. but once I got past that I LOVE what it's done for buck's arc!! and in the finale when he literally held a baby that he helped create in his arms, and the grief was tangible on his face, and then he handed the kid over to kameron??? POETIC CINEMA. I LOVE HOW THAT STORYLINE WRAPPED UP <333 and when he told connor to just love the kid?? when we all know how he was raised??????? auigghhh <33

2) and onto the couch thing!! I actually missed most of his dialogue w natalia at the end of the ep because I was still shaking from the stress and intensity of the emergency BUT I LOVE THAT!?!?!?! how he's choosing his own couch but letting her come along!?!? and that's such a great point about the metaphor of him being in a place where HE'S ready for someone in his life. and so he's letting her in but he's choosing his own couch because he understands everything the couch metaphor has been saying all this time. on GOD you are making me a bucktalia fan I'm obsessed with them <3

2.1). there's a phenomenon in this fandom where fans will outright ignore things in canon/twist it to fit the Buddie Agenda and the WORST thing is that the buddie subsection of this fandom is like a fucking HIVEMIND. the theories are made, sometimes even taking canon and twisting it around to Fit Buddie, and then everyone just takes it and runs with it. everyone freaks out abt the couch theory in particular. so you hit the nail exactly on the head with the couch metaphor thing because everyone LOOOVES to say buck needs to choose eddie's couch but that's exactly what he did with taylor!! and abby!!!! and everyone else!! just because it's eddie doesn't mean he's not just another relationship in a long line of relationships!!!! it's just. very telling how the fandom has blinders on when it comes to buddie. and yeah sure fandom is for crazy theories and having fun with them but there comes a point where the crazy theories are completely overtaking the entire fucking fandom so people who want to enjoy other characters just. can't.

3). well see the reason why natalia gets bashed for coming off strong but buck doesn't when he's literally done worse (I love him but it's true) is because natalia isn't only a Woman, she's A Woman In The Way Of Buddie. so clearly her only role in the story is as an antagonist who is actively trying to hurt buck 🤪 <- sarcasm. and also buck is the Fandom Sweetheart Who Can Do No Wrong so. there u go.

4). exactly!!!! I also think there's something to be said for natalia the death doula, who first connected with buck over death, walking in and visibly making that metaphor of rejoining his life even with all the wildness, during a birth. aka thee most powerfully symbolic act of life + new beginnings that exists. I don't remember the details exactly but I think she might have even helped deliver the baby, which just kinda makes me even more 👀 at the symbolism there <333 I'm LITERALLY becoming a bucktalia fan purely because of this ask because ur takes are soooooooo <333333333

5). YES!!!!!!!!!! I'd also like to add that for eddie, it's TRUE that people he meets on calls aren't necessarily great partners. he'd met ana before, of course, but it was when they bumped into each other on the call where they actually started seeing each other as a romantic interest. and well we all know how that turned out. so when eddie says this I strongly believe that that's why!! but you're exactly right when you say it's not necessarily the case!! eddie's just one guy, who has been affected by this in a certain way, and so of course he's saying that that's the given outcome because it's what happened to him!!!! but bobby and athena met on a call, and so did hen and athena, but both of those relationships are strong and solid!! imo eddie is a very unreliable narrator here because the thing with ana probably still stings, so he's just saying things without really thinking through that they might not be true for other people like bathena, and could potentially be untrue for others as well. there's just. an insane amount of fandom illiteracy the SECOND either buck or eddie are involved because all anyone can ever talk about is how much they want them to kiss. and also you're so RIGHT that people take things characters say as gospel truth when they're LITERALLY just people in a story.

6). YESSSSSS IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT!!!! honestly it's probably one of my fav episodes!!!!! my ONE SINGULAR gripe is that there wasn't a lot of time spent recovering, even for chim, eddie, and hen, who all had fairly severe injuries. they were all at the hospital one second, and then there was a time skip and they were all walking around fit as a fiddle. however I understand that they thought it was gonna be The Finale so they wanted to wrap up everyone's arcs as best as they could, and they didn't really have enough time to put in everything that they wanted to put. so the gripe is a minor one, and besides, I've added some ideas to the list of fic to write <3

send me an unpopular opinion and I'll rate it!!

[potofstewie]

I posted 312 times in 2022

That's 312 more posts than 2021!

44 posts created (14%)

268 posts reblogged (86%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@comatosebunny09

@kyojurosfirelilyy

@kyojurosrealwife

@auraee

@gingerspicelattemix

I tagged 63 of my posts in 2022

#stew’s pot of thoughts - 29 posts

#kyojuro rengoku - 12 posts

#rengoku kyojuro - 8 posts

#kny rengoku - 6 posts

#rengoku x reader - 5 posts

#send helppp - 5 posts

#rengoku x black reader - 4 posts

#eren x black reader - 3 posts

#reheated soup - 3 posts

#selfreblog - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 73 characters

#yes this is me publicly admitting i have another one to add to my bd list

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Der Engel miener Träume

Title Translation: The Angel of my dreams.

The lowdown: A frequent dream that Eren Jeager cannot get enough of.

The things to know: Reader is EXPLICITLY black, uses she/her pronouns, Fluff, Yearning, middle of the timeskip Eren (idk how else to describe him but like- a few months after he kissed Historia's hand)

W/C: 1.4k

A/N: Hey hey, this one is one of those spur of the moment ideas that I decided to expand upon GREATLY. One thing that helped inspire this fic was my fellow black fanfic readers and writers. I wanted this to basically be an ode to my black (aot) fandom members. I should probably start posing these to my AO3 but idkk yet. ANYWAY ENJOY MWUAH

See the full post

23 notes - Posted December 6, 2022

#4

ok so- i was in the middle of rewatching euphoria and a angsty (is intense a better word?) fic idea came into my head:

what if, rengoku just absolutely snaps about his dad. not necessarily cussing him out (although that could work) but just venting to y/n over a bottle or two of sake. And y/n is lowkey frightended over how aggressive his speech is talking about him but just being a caring and listening gf

31 notes - Posted November 10, 2022

#3

Confide in Me

The lowdown: An angry and battered boyfriend, a scared yet concerned girlfriend and a $2.58 pack of frozen peas

MEGA HUUUUGE SHOUTOUT TO @auraee FOR HELPING ME WITH THE CONCLUSION CAUSE A CHICK WAS LOST

Word Count: 2.8k

Pairing: Rengoku x Black Reader (other readers are welcomed)

The things to know: VERYYY OOC Kyojuro, Blood, Smoking, Mentions of Child Abuse, Physical Abuse (kyojuro and shinjuro), Angst, yelling, swears, Eating as a coping mechanism (Kyojuro), a pack of frozen sweet peas

A/N: Oh, my, GOOOD. I hate how long this took and I'm sorry for how long it took. I got sick with something and I couldn't figure out for the life of me how to end this properly. I was also on the verge of deleting this numerous times to just write a version in the canon setting but I didn't want this to go to waste. I'm so grateful for @auraee for looking at the conclusion and giving me confidence. Big ups my g I think after this, I'm gonna redo my masterlist and then finally move on to another baby daddy of mine (I'm fighting between Haganezuka and Eren.) Also can you tell that I finally figured out how to indent texts? lmao

See the full post

93 notes - Posted November 25, 2022

#2

Morning Person

A/N: This is a small thing that I whipped up after seeing this drawing on pintrest. This is my first writing post so I hope the errors aren't so bad.

Established Relationship, Rengoku x Reader, Fluff

"C'mon Kyo, you gotta get up." You shook your boyfriend gently as you whined. Today was a beautiful day and you wanted to make the most of it since Kyojuro finally had a day off. A deep, disgruntled groan left the large lump in the futon, blond hair with red tips peeking out from under the covers. "I don't get it, you're always a ball of energy! How on earth are you like this in the morning?!" 

You sighed loudly as the lump shuffled, trying to find a more comfortable position. A few low grumbles and whines errupted from the covers, a pitiful and indecipherable argument your boyfriend gave to you as his hand reached from under the bedding and fixed the sheets over his head. You watched silently as his body finally relaxed, a foot sticking out from the cocoon. "Kyojuro, today is so lovely out. Me and Senjuro wanna go fishing and we want you to tag along. C'moooon." You shook him again, this time more harshly but alas, he didn't budge. 

"I plan on bringing my sweet potato pie, and Senjuro is taking salt grilled bream with us as well. There's way too much food for the both of us to eat. But, we can always give the leftovers to your father..." You taunted, hoping that the mentions of his favorite food would stir the Flame Hashira. After a few pensive seconds, a loud sigh released from the futon, with the disheveled creature slowly sitting up. Kyojuro's tired eyes looked at you with his wild eyebrows furrowing and a slight frown on his face. His bright mane sticking out in all directions, some of it sticking to his face. "Are you finally gonna come with us?" You asked, hopefully. 

Kyojuro grunted, scratching his stomach. "Fine, in five minutes." He grumbled before harshly diving into the covers once more.

"Kyojuro!!" 

119 notes - Posted November 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Ask Again

The Low Down: A love story about a question that takes many forms but is always asked.

Word Count: 637

Pairing: Rengoku x Reader

The things to know: AFAB!Reader, fluff, slight angst, reader playfully insults

A/N: Aight, so this has been sitting in my head for like two days straight until I woke up in a cold sweat to write a really rough draft in my phone at 4am. However I'm glad that this is finally freed from the shackles of my mind.

See the full post

185 notes - Posted November 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[deviantartdramahub]

DeviantArt - Discover The Largest Online Art Gallery and Community <- Trying to provoke me.

Where are the lies? - Morothias's Sta.sh

Ok pedo - Morothias's Sta.sh

Lololo - Morothias's Sta.sh

Lies regarding me - Morothias's Sta.sh

Ahaha - Morothias's Sta.sh <- This one she is using because of my comment. Not because she found proof I did it, but just for the fact I said I "did it" xD

Leaking my photos? - Morothias's Sta.sh <- Again, like the one above, this one is baseically surrounding the whole "He leaked my pictures"

More lies - Morothias's Sta.sh <- This one is titled "More lies".. there's more, but at this point Eve is baseically saying, everybody is a liar but not her.

Poor kid... - Morothias's Sta.sh <- Poor kid my ass, he fucking posted this shit, after being showned this shit -> Status update by Phracker on DeviantArt, by the same fucklng mug who was bullying, or at least trying to bully me a few years ago.

Stalkers - Morothias's Sta.sh

Court 2 - Morothias's Sta.sh

Court - Morothias's Sta.sh <- How the fuck did she get this one, again, I keep saying it... there is a spy inside one of our servers!

1 - Morothias's Sta.sh

I asked a question, and YOU just jumped up and said "I'll prove it" in no certain words. That's not blackmial you idiot xD

2 - Morothias's Sta.sh

I don't even know what you look like, why are you bitching? I still think you uploaded a fake picture, then you did the following -> 3 - Morothias's Sta.sh I didn't ask or force you to do anything, read the chat again, xD But, I know what you look like, and nah you're already I'll pass... I wouldn't date a 28 going on 2-year-old crybaby who smokes drugs, and thinks bullying people is okay.

4 - Morothias's Sta.sh Yeah, now I'm playing mindgames with you. Something you had no problem doing with Tri and everybody else.

5 - Morothias's Sta.sh Still no proof of this "blackmail" you claimed, all I see is a message telling you, or rather ASKING you a simple question...

6 - Morothias's Sta.sh You lied about not knowing what I was talking about when you damm-well DO KNOW what I was talking about, and you DID harass me for fucking months, which then turned out to be for 3 fucking years!.. and not because you were right, but because I was protecting my friends, Tri and Max... they did fuck all to you, YOU took what they said out of contexted! And you fucking knew what you were doing!

7 - Morothias's Sta.sh <- Excuse me? I did no such thing you twisted bitch! And I sure as hell didn't do it on anybody fucking behalf! NOBODY knew what I was going to do or say, and YOU have some fucking nerve, Eve! Calling people a freakshow? Coming from you? Somebody who bullies, stalks, and harasss, Tri, who is Asexual, Club who has Autism, and me, who happens to be Dylexic.. so yeah, thanks for clearly pointing out we're a "freakshow", That's really something an "innocent" person would say, NOT!

8 - Morothias's Sta.sh <- If Tri was there, then she would have been away from her computer, I know this because when I spoke to her she said she just came back from a nap. It's what people do, unlike you... you would rather fuck over everybody just to suit yourself. Get over being caught, and shut it!

9 - Morothias's Sta.sh <- Wait, rent free!? xD OH, so you only allow people to blackmail you if they pay you? LMAO, sorry, but nah that's not how it works... and I wouldn't do it anyway.. nobody would want to touch that cobbweb invested menge of yours anyway, Eve! xD

10 - Morothias's Sta.sh <- Tri has a point, Eve, Nobody controls me... I'll do whatever, whenever, and however. So like a certain user told you... This is what happens when you fuck with the wrong people! We never fucked with you (wouldn't want too anyway, smelly ass bitch) YOU fucked with Tri, and that's a big fucking NO NO, when she happens to be MY FRIEND!

11 - Morothias's Sta.sh <- Who harsssed who?

12 - Morothias's Sta.sh <- Yeah Wolf told me to stop, he said it wasn't helping. But as I told you before, I wasn't gonna let go when I was the one, who had to put up WITH YOUR FUCKING SHIT FOR YEARS! With Bird talking out his ass, trying to save his own skin from being thrown in jail where he belongs!, To the day YOU created that blog, 2017, and OH YES I do know now where this fake proof is, uploaded on that shit blog of yours, Eve, You're not CO FOUNDEr, you're THE FOUNDER! And then in 2020, you fucknig attacked Tri, and what happens when you attack friends of mine? ASK THAT FUCKING RAT-FACE CUNT BIRD, WHO PISSED OFF SCARED BECAUSE HE COULDN'T FUCKING HANDLE ME!

13 - Morothias's Sta.sh <- AGAIN, Wolf is a man of his word. He asked me, he fucking begged me to stop attacking you, but OH NO< fuck right off bitch! I'm not letting up on you, you fucking dumped your shtie on my DA page Right here -> LOOK AT IT, YOU ADN YOUR FUCKING ARSE HOLES FRIENDS... TALKNIG SHIT!... AND THEN YOU HAD THE FUCKING BALLS TO TRY AND BULLY GELLY INTO IT?! SHE ACTUALLY BELIEVED YOU! Did you know that, Eve? She actually believed your shit.. And when I told her the truth and opened her eyes... to the TRUTH about YOUR BULLSHIT, she couldn't believe she had been fooled. But hey, I don't hate her, I just hate the fact she believed your lies without even knowing us.

You've got NOTHING! CASE CLOSED, NOW FUCK OFF BITCH!

I consider this a must-read for any lurkers in this Tumblr group who are skeptical that there is at least as much wrongfulness coming from those who side with Morothias (whose username may be set to change soon as I type this) than there is from those she accuses (I'm not sure how unironically saying things like "if you didn't want to deal with me, you shouldn't have started in the first place" or "if they didn't want to be ****** with, they shouldn't have ****** with me or minors in the first place" is considered good form). Even if you don't agree with OP, this has investigative value, and the fault in the priorities are clear, not to mention, in the end, nobody has any proof one user is an alt of another user, which I will start out by pointing out because that's the whole basis of some of the fighting (in debate circles, this would fall under what we call a strawman fallacy because anyone can just make an account to look like someone's alternate account, which as the internet-famous ten e-cepts say, is impractical online, as there is no more proof that, say, dinglegoose666 is an alt of mine slash NinGemTitan for "seeming" like any of us, than, say, Luna-lights is an alt of Morothias for the same reason and for confronting all the same people as her and as well as arguably excessively), and the fact that many of the posts shown in the screenshots have been mass-reported but haven't been taken down by Tumblr, I would presume, confirms the mass-reporters were taking them out of context.

As much as I don't take sides, I have less issue with the OP of this Tumblr post which I'm responding to right now, due to the fact I have not seen them do any of the above which I describe, whether that be accusing random people of being alts, justifying hostility with another's actions on a general basis, or posting screenshots which are not immune to being questioned, especially in a world where the same people accuse AI's of having the power to make cheap clones, even though I do take issue with OP striving to increase the magnitude as well as possible misuse of content, which I would discourage against for the same reason.

[amnesiacsleepy]

I posted 964 times in 2022

That's 851 more posts than 2021!

60 posts created (6%)

904 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@superdog075

@starcloud-nova

@kittyacelia

@poopy-mamy-poko-pants

@amnesiacsleepy

I tagged 345 of my posts in 2022

#writing - 7 posts

#to me - 4 posts

#fanfic - 4 posts

#lmao - 4 posts

#mha - 3 posts

#tf2 - 3 posts

#no - 3 posts

#like seriously - 3 posts

#???? - 3 posts

#tf2 soldier - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#but no. it doesnt change anything about him. im pretty sure that it hasnt been brought up since that episode/chapter and it bugs me so much

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

this is so much work

4 notes - Posted April 27, 2022

#4

since tumblr took my goth rave color palette i have decided to make a new one and call it emo rave where everything is black. text. backgrounds. images. ads. its all a dark landscape but when you see the color of the sky post its not multiple colors its one single blinding white

7 notes - Posted November 14, 2022

#3

ok but like. cuphead's songs in the Indie Cross FNF mkd were ACTUAL BOPS no i dont take arguments

7 notes - Posted April 26, 2022

#2

An attack on @popfizzles character, Powdered Doughnut! The roundness was a bit hard to properly achieve, but I got it in the end.

27 notes - Posted July 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

#SaveTF2 - Getting Valve to Acknowledge this, Once and for All

Alright. I'm a day late, but what does that matter? I'd rather do this a day late than never do it at all.

Team Fortress 2 (TF2) is a game that I'm still very early in the learning process of. I've only been playing for a few months, and don't have even 100 hours in the game yet. And if things go the way they are, I don't think I will. Official servers are, truthfully, in an awful state. Bots are crawling in every one, and the only way to avoid them is to requeue like there's no tomorrow. There are new players every day, and I don't want to think that their first thought about this incredible game is "Wow, I can't do literally anything." It, to be honest, is heartbreaking to see this incredible game that has lived so long to be done in by this.

TF2 means so much to so many- and I so badly want to see why. I want to be in the era where it was consistently getting more content added to it, when cheaters were kicked instantly after someone caught on.

The bots are far, far worse than a cheater could ever be. They spam things in the voice chat, they can hit through walls, they have perfect aim. And even worse, most of them are snipers, meaning that then can kill you from across the entire map if you aren't careful.

I want to love this game. I want to see what makes it so fun, why people play it even over a decade later. I want to join the incredible people that make the game look so appealing, and I want to see the appeal behind it. But, with all the current flaws... I can't.

Valve has, to their credit, tried to do something. However, none of it worked. In fact, the things they did have only made the problem worse. Things like making Free-to-plays (like myself) unable to use VC/text chat. I can't even call for medic in an official server.

And Uncle Dane shouldn't be shouldering all of the TF2 community on Uncletopia. Uncletopia is where I spend most of my time when I play TF2, which hasn't been for a while. However, I can barely even do anything there because everyone else is just too good for me to get better at movement and tracking.

I can't get better because I'm fighting against people that kill me too fast for me to learn anything. I can't say that I love TF2 yet. But I want to. I want to love TF2 so badly. I want to enjoy what other people enjoy about the game.

I want to frag as Scout. I want to use incredible power as Soldier. I want to reflect as Pyro. I want to mow down the enemy as Heavy. I want to get a nasty sticky trap as Demo. I want to single-handedly defend the final point as an Engineer. I want to make a game-changing Uber push as Medic. I want to get an incredible chainstab as Spy.

I want to see this game restored to when it was at its peak. I want to build gamesense. I want to learn how to count damage numbers. I want to learn the flank routes. I want to learn how to trimp as Demoknight. I want to experience this game's full quality.

And I really, really hope that I can.

This is my #SaveTF2 post. I hope Valve gets enough to finally do something.

36 notes - Posted May 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[abcdosaka]

so I went to talk to this pm (the one who cried) yesterday about the project that should’ve been wrapped up like 3 months ago. and she was telling me we should’ve done this instead of what you have and that’s like another idk 3-4 hours of work for me bc that is a totally different assumption than what we went with in the first place and honestly I feel like we’re over complicating it. Like I get why we should because we should try to be as accurate as possible but it’s like this project will never end I needed it to be over like a month ago. Why are we still working on this.

Anyway this week has also been kinda busy like I feel a lot of pressure to get shit done for another project bc that’s been delayed for a while (let’s call it project b) and a third project that we want to have done in may and I’m taking a week off in may and that’s gonna cause delays I just know it. and at the same time, the government of my previous province still hasn’t sent my my fucking abstract yet and I haven’t received my new license yet either because nobody seems to understand how to address mail to my mailbox or maybe the mail carriers are just idiots who don’t know how to deliver mail and it’s been like 2 fucking months like holy shit just give me a fucking refund at this point why do I have to spend hundreds of dollars to do this necessary thing and they don’t even do the fucking work.

so when she was telling me all this she was like we really should have this done end of week and I was like honestly I can’t do it this week but I couldn’t even bring myself to explain that I need to work on project b that was supposed to be done last year and I’ve had to push it off so much thanks to the pm that I hate (see above post). and idk everything was just becoming so much that I started getting really emotional like I’ve been on off crying in the bathroom at work all week just bc I’m like wtf am I doing with my life why am I stressing myself out like this. so I left like “ok I’m gonna go to my desk and work on this “ and like my lip was trembling it was so obvious I’m gonna start crying. She was really nice about it like she decided that we don’t need to include those parts in the report and I can just do it later and we were talking in the bathroom after and she said a lot of supportive stuff to me in the bathroom and it was nice to feel like someone cared. But that took like 30 minutes and I couldn’t really get a word out but that’s not fair to her like it’s not like I would’ve said anything to her thats like work appropriate like this is shit I should be talking to a therapist about. I’m still kinda embarrassed but idk she cried first so it’s fine lmao

then today I was in the lunchroom eating with another eit who honestly troubles me. Because he seems really caring but he’s always fucking asking the same 3 questions like how’s the car search going, are you doing okay, how’s x project and it drives me completely nuts. Bc it’s not like there’s any updates, are you even listening when I talk why keep asking me these questions when I’ve already told you?? Especially the are you okay stuff. He’s pushing me to open up and then I do and it’s like he doesn’t even listen he just provides the most shitty basic life advice like “put yourself out there” like NO SHIT???? he thinks I’m like a fresh 18 year old who never lived away from my family like bitch my family is literally homophobic and broken as hell I’ve basically never had mental support from them since idk never. Like he just assumes that I love them and want to see them and it just drives me nuts bc why do I need to tell you that’s not the case? Why are you acting like any of this is your business? And I’m not kidding he really does ask the same questions all the time even stuff that doesn’t have a variable answer bc he just doesn’t retain anything

it just feels like nobody listens when I talk. I honestly don’t believe there’s something wrong with me either like I realize my communication skills could be improved but ppl are just yapping all the fucking time.

I’m also annoyed with this city bc it’s hard to get around and there’s literally no nightlife or queer scene and kinda petty but ppl are obsessed with hockey here like I miss how at least my old city was like people did not care if you didn’t care about sports like everyone can kinda be their own individual without ppl shoving their interests down your throat

i was taking a #nervous pee today and when i was in the stall one of my pm’s came in and she was crying. i tried my best to cheer her up but idk if i did a good job lol i hope i did but i can be so awkward when it comes to that also she’s kinda like my boss so it’s a bit weird. anyway it also activated my #empath sensibilities and i’ve been on my period this week so i felt kinda emotional and then i got chewed out by another pm for spending too much time on a task but that was gonna happen no matter what bc this guy isn’t satisfied w anything i do and also idk anything and now i’m emotional again. anyway it’s fine bc actually i was the one who went to talk to him so i’m proud of myself for having the courage to do that even though i low key hate him so much.

i’m taking a week off in may no matter what.