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thatgirlwritingficsatnight · 4 years ago

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Gift exchange

It’s Christmas Eve, and you’ve forgotten about your Christmas company party. Even worse you forgot to get a gift for the “not so secret Santa” - your company’s tradition. Wanna top it? Make it even worse? No problem. The person you were supposed to get a gift for? Your crush. Defsoul - the most talented, kindest and hottest person alive. What are you going to do now?

pairing: Lim Jaebeom (Defsoul) x reader

genre: smut, fluff, Jaebeom is a producer, Y/N is a manager

warnings: smut: daddy kink, light choking, ass play; foul language (please don’t read it if you’re not old enough)

words: 4989

A/N: TFW you try to write a GOT7 reaction, and you end up with one-shot. I know I’m kinda late with whole christmas theme but i wrote it last night and figured out I could post it anyway.

***

You barely got to shut your eyes before your alarm tore you up from your dreams. It was nine in the morning, and you went to sleep at six AM because of your work. You groaned as you shuffled in bed cursing your job, three hours of sleep was not enough for anyone. Being manager of K-pop girl group was hard enough but being the manager in December when there was award show after award show and festivals - that was a nightmare. To other people December was equal to Christmas, gifts, parties, New Year's Eve but to you, it was synonymous with constant state of tiredness, your biggest wish right now was to spent Christmas break alone, just you and your bed. You sighed as you dragged yourself to shower. Girls had only slept for 5 hours, and you felt bad for them — not only were they invited to each award show that existed they also just have had a comeback. You could see how exhausted they were and yet your superiors still pushed for them to go to some stupid TV show on Christmas Eve. You got yourself ready and went to pick them up and get them to set.

The recording went smoothly, and you were already daydreaming about coming home early and passing out on your bed. It was six PM already, but you still had to drive girls home and step into the office for a bit. You sighed you'd be home eight PM at best - well it was still better than coming home at two or three AM. You were about to go and thank everyone for their hard work when your phone vibrated. It was your best friend and coworker.

"Hey Inha. What's up?"

"I wanted to check if you remember about the company party tonight."

You hit your forehead and groaned.

"OMG! You forgot! Have you bought a gift at least?"

"No..." you whined. You wanted to die. You had so much work lately that you've absolutely forgotten about that party — it was for staff only and each year you'd drew lots to pick the person you were supposed to give a gift to. It wasn't even secret Santa your boss simply came to conclusion that gift exchange would help out with forming friendships...

"Girl... Do you at least remember who you drew?"

Of course you remembered. How could you not. This was your lucky year, you got Defsoul the hottest, kindest and most talented person working for your label. You had a small crush on him since that day he gave up his coffee for you. You were falling asleep standing while girls were recording their vocals, and he chuckled at you before telling you to sit by him and drink some coffee. It probably meant nothing to him but that was one of the most stressful weeks in your life, and you weren't sleeping at all during that time — ITZY were about to make a debut, and you couldn't stop worrying over it. You remember how touched you were by this simple gesture, after all no one ever gave you coffee, usually you were the one getting it for other people. His looks certainly didn't help with your hopeless crush. He was H O T and not even simply hot, more like "I-look-like-an-idol" hot. He had a black mullet, piercing under his eye, he also had his nose and ears pierced to make matters worse for you he also had most hypnotizing almost feline-like eyes. Honestly you wondered why didn't he become an idol with a face and talent like that. After that one time, he would buy you a coffee whenever he had seen you and you two became somewhat close - you'd swing over his studio when girls had to train and talk about everything and nothing. He told you about his cats, his favorite restaurants, his passion for taking pictures and well you mostly told him about your job since you basically didn't have any private life - it really felt pathetic. He even took your photo once - telling you that the picture would help him later when he would be looking for inspiration (it is a mystery till this day how you haven't fainted that evening). One day you were waiting for girls to finish up their dance practice and fell asleep on one of the benches — it was difficult day for you since you haven't slept for twenty hours already (you had to fight off some crazy sasaengs and didn’t sleep whole night keeping an eye on their dorm — some would say you were overdoing it, but to you members of ITZY were like your little sisters). You woke up in his studio on his couch. He carried you there while you were asleep and tucked you in, covering you with his jacket. You were extremely embarrassed, apologetic and thankful at the same time. He chuckled at you before saying that it was okay and forced you to promise that you'd oversleep to work the very next day. Inha claimed he had a crush on you since he never treated her with the same kindness or anyone really. But you knew better, he was a good colleague. A good, extraordinarily attractive colleague you wanted to kiss and lick and...

"Hello? Earth to Y/N??" your friend snapped you from your thoughts.

"I have to go Inha! Thank you for reminding me! Love you!" You checked the time, there was no way you'd manage to drive girls back, buy a gift, get ready for a party and do all that without being late. You sighed you will have to improvise. You drove off girls and came back rushing straight to your apartment. The party started at 10 PM and you had to shower, somehow fix your sleep-deprived face and figure out how you're going to apologize to Def... You were home a few minutes before 8 rushing into your bedroom - at least you knew what you were going to wear. That would be the most expensive, or more like the only expensive piece of clothing you had — a birthday gift from girls. It was an oversized tuxedo jacket from Alexander Wang and you haven't worn it yet. You tried it on, it had quite deep cleavage, and exposed a lot of your legs, but you figured it would be ok for tonight. You smoothed out black velvety material before stepping out of it. You still had to shower and do your makeup. An hour later you were looking at yourself in the mirror — the mask Inha got you really helped out with bags under your eyes. You did good with makeup as well: it was soft brownish smoky eye, orange toned lipstick and some shimmers here and there — you actually looked healthy and well rested (a true Christmas miracle really). You looked even better after getting in your outfit — Ryunjin was right, the tuxedo like dress fitted your vibe. You even wore some black heels which didn't often happen since you always chose comfort over looks when at work.

Fortunately you got to the party on time even though you couldn't catch a taxi for twenty minutes or so. People inside were already mingling and drinking, and you decided to grab something to drink before looking for Def. You located a small table with champagne in the corner of the room. You downed two glasses as quick as you got there, and were already grabbing a third one when a voice spoke up startling you so much you jumped a little.

"Rough day?" Defsoul was standing next to you, whiskey in his hand, smirking at you. You immediately blushed and gawked at him. He was so handsome it was simply unfair. This man clearly woke up today and chose violence. He was wearing a silky black shirt — and it was quite unbuttoned, so you had a chance of seeing his broad chest (you were currently having a heart attack), and slacks he also styled his hair so that his forehead was exposed with one defiant streak of hair falling onto his brow bone. You wanted to groan. You fucked up — this could've been your chance to get him to like you more...

"Y/N? Are you alright?" he was genuinely concerned, and here you were, basically salivating and staring at him like a starved, nasty man. That was so embarrassing. You cleared your throat and looked away.

"Yeah, sorry. I'm just really tired today..." He smiled at you warmly, and you wanted to punch yourself for not getting him something, anything.

"That's great!" You gave him a confused look, and he bit his lip nervously while scratching the back of his head. He was so cute you could kiss him. Well to be fair you felt like you could kiss him any time. Why...why did you have to forget that bloody gift...

"I mean it's not great that you're tired... It's just… ah, shit I suck at this. Here." He handed you a plastic card, and you read it absolutely puzzled. Lifetime pass for coffee with Jaebeom — it also had a cute chibi character that looked just like Def, except it had some cat ears.

"Now you can get coffee whenever you want. I mean I know you can have it whenever you want anyway, I just thought that maybe you'd like someone to get it with... I mean get it for you… It's ok if you don't like it really, oh by the way I'm Jaebeom, I don't know if I already told you my real name or not…" he was rambling, and you were screaming inside your head. That was so cute. So kind. You wanted to hug him and kiss him so badly. "Ah, shit. I really do suck at this." he said more to himself than to you. You finally looked at him and grinned.

"I love it." you said and his eyes turned into big orbs before light pink colored his cheeks.

"You do?"

"I do. It's a perfect gift." you smiled, your heart swelled with happiness. You could technically go on a date with him whenever you felt like with this handy piece of plastic. That is if he wouldn't start to hate you in the next few minutes for forgetting his present.

"I'm glad." he grinned and it took your breath away. How come he was so perfect? You got even more nervous looking at the gift from him.

"Ah... I was your not so secret Santa as well…" you started.

"Really? So what did you get me?" he was genuinely interested, and you wanted to go back in time and kill yourself for forgetting about this party. You looked up. His eyes were gleaming with curiosity — you were fucked.

"It's me! I'm your gift!" you joked and looked down to cover your nervousness. You were about to say that it was just a stupid joke and apologize before he spoke up.

"I love it." his voice was deeper than normally, and you looked up shocked by it. He was checking you out, his hungry eyes traveling up and down. You've never seen him like that. You could feel warmth spreading on your cheeks under his intense stare, a tight knot forming somewhere near your core in excitement.

"Y-you do?" your voice faltered, and he chuckled while moving closer to you. He smelled musky with a hint of citrus. Your legs were about to collapse under you.

"I do." he hummed he was so close you could feel the warmth radiating from him. His hand brushed against yours as he bent down to reach your ear. You were sure your skin was burning where he touched you. "So, tell me Y/N, when can I unwrap you?" his tone was dark and dangerous and when he straightened up you've seen this gleam in his eyes as he smirked. Your legs felt like made from putty and you'd collapse if his hand weren't already wrapped around your waist. You couldn't believe it was happening. Your heart was beating so hard it was about to spring off your chest — you were wondering if he could hear it. You certainly could even though blood ringed in your ears. You felt your throat going dry and your panties getting moist.

"Def…" you started weakly. Shocked by your own voice — it sounded so needy.

"Call me Jaebeom.." he purred. "Would you like to go to my place? I don't think I can wait any longer to enjoy my gift…" You quavered from excitement, his voice was laced with a promise of sleepless night.

"Yes, let's go." you said and he smiled at you. You were sure you lost any oxygen you still had in your lungs at that moment. His hand left your waist, and you wanted to catch it and wrap yourself with it again. Instead, he grabbed your hand and interlocked your fingers with his, smiling at you sweetly before he led you outside. You couldn't focus on anything else, but his fingers wrapped around yours. His hand was warm, and he held you firmly, his skin soft and delicate. You managed to quickly catch a taxi and through whole drive Jaebeom's hand lazily travelled up and down your thigh. His gentle fingers sending sparks to your core every time he brushed the inside of your leg. You glanced at him, eyes filled with desire — he shivered, and it made you feel a different kind of excitement — you didn't know that you had this kind of effect on him. You got out of the taxi and his hand was instantly on yours, he was almost dragging you skipping every other step as he rushed upstairs to his apartment. He opened the door and let you in. Immediately three cats came in and brushed against your legs. You smiled softly.

"They like you.." Jaebeom murmured against your neck while taking off your coat for you, you gasped at the feeling, and he released low chuckle before he started planting soft kisses against your neck — each time his lips touched your skin your muscles clenched with anticipation. You couldn't wait any longer. You turned around and looked at him, his eyes were glued to your lips and excitement bubbled somewhere below your stomach.

"I waited so long for this..." he started but never got to finish as your lips were on his in a second. Even his lips felt like cotton, and you sighed against him when he kissed you back. He was clearly enjoying slow kisses. You grew impatient once again and licked his lower lip, he gave you access you asked for, and your tongue brushed against his hungrily. You could already feel how wet you were, arousal making your panties stick to you painfully. Jaebeom's hand travelled around your back dropping dangerously low now and then but never grabbing you — you really wanted him to hold you and take you roughly. Once again you grew impatient this night. You took his lower lip in between your teeth, you bit it hard and moaned. That seemed to make him lose his cool, he let out a growl that travelled straight to your core.

"Bad girl..." he said before he turned you around and pushed you against the wall so that your back was facing him. His tongue already on your earlobe, you sighed and shivered when he licked it and let out breaths against wet, sensitive skin. "I wanted to take it slowly, but you're so eager, so impatient…" he was purring into your ear, and you were aching down there more and more with each syllable.

"Jaebeom..." you moaned as you pressed your ass against him. He sucked some breath in when you pushed down against his hard length, his body working on its own accord, one hand already on your hips pressing you harder when the other one cupped your breast. This is not how he envisioned tonight, he thought that he'd at best confess his feelings not have you here crumbling in his hands while moaning his name. Your hips bucked against his by itself as soon as you felt how hard he was. His hand grabbed your clothed breast, and you regretted wearing anything. You wanted to feel him against you naked skin not through layers of clothing.

"Jaebeom-ah..." you moaned his name again, and he rewarded you with sucking on your neck — it was painful yet pleasant, and you almost forgot what you wanted to say before he licked the fresh mark and kissed it. "Didn't you say you wanted to unwrap me?" You said in weak voice still affected by his mouth on your neck. He laughed against your skin, and you thought that's how paradise would sound like.

"You really are impatient... do you want me to fuck you so bad?" he asked rubbing into you, his dick almost in pain from the friction.

"Yes...please..." you panted out, and he let out some animalistic sound upon hearing how needy you were. He made you face him and unbuttoned your tuxedo-like-dress before he tossed it somewhere behind him. You shivered under his stare. He pulled you into him and his hands immediately travelled to your ass, grabbing it and lifting you up without effort. He began kissing your jaw, neck, collarbones, and you tilted your head, so he could have better access. He carried you to his bedroom and laid you down carefully on the mattress before he took a step back. His sheets smelled just like him, and you sighed in pleasure, sinking deeply into his fragrance. He bit his lip seeing you in his bed, wearing nothing but lacy underwear. However, you didn't want just lay and wait, you got up and reached out to his own shirt undoing the buttons hastily, but he didn't let you, he was in control. He held your hands and pushed you back on bed. You bounced and your hair created a sort of crown, spreading around your face — it emphasized your features even more, and Jaebeom felt as if he was making love to some kind of goddess. Your lips, eyes, hair, body everything was perfect. He wanted to taste you already.

"You need to ask me nicely." He smirked at you and you pouted a bit before a mischievous gleam appeared in your eyes. You let one of the straps fall from your shoulder and gave him an innocent look before taking off the other one as well. Just one move and Jaebeom would see your torso naked. He bit his lip unintentionally, when you pushed your breast closer while also moaning.

"Pleeeaaase... undress already and fuck me... daddy." He groaned - you'd be the end of him. He quickly tore any clothes that were on him leaving only his boxers on, and you stared him down hungrily. Saying he was beautiful was and understatement. He was perfect. His skin was light and smooth, it gleamed in the moonlight that illuminated the room through a small window located right above the headboard. It was still dim, but you could clearly see the outline of muscles on his stomach, and a tempting v line, waiting for you to be licked on his abdomen.

"Take off your bra." he ordered and you obediently followed. His eyes devoured your glistening breasts, two darker beads already hard and inviting him in. He licked his thumb and brushed it against your nipple watching intently for your reaction. You didn't disappoint him as you arched your back hungry for his touch. He took another one into his mouth, his tongue making circles around it for what felt like forever. The sound of his wet licks and your quickened breath feeling the silence of the room. You squeezed your legs looking for any kind of release, it didn't help much. Your core was aching and since you could only wait for him to bring you pleasure you closed your eyes and focused only on the sole path of his tongue. It was almost like a torture and Jaebeom seemed to enjoy it greatly, lazy licks, circles around your nipples, blowing cold air on them to hear your whines. And so when he finally sucked on your swollen nipple you moaned his name so loudly his neighbors could hear you. His dick twitched in his boxers. He couldn't wait for much long either, you were the most beautiful person he ever saw, and you were squirming under him, waiting for him to fuck you. He was honestly shocked he didn't take you against that wall in his hall when you pushed your ass against him. He smirked at you, he haven’t even fucked you yet and you were already having this kind of expression. His lips travelled from your breast lower and lower before his face hovered above your panties, hot breath on your wet, clothed pussy sending you almost over the edge. You looked down at him, his eyes were full of lust. He was so beautiful you felt like it was just a dream, not reality. When he pressed his nose against your wet folds you moaned again. He inhaled it a few times as if it was the most ravishing smell in the world.

"You smell so good I might go crazy." He actually was going crazy as his cock let out a bit of pre-cum only upon him smelling your pussy.

"Daddy... please..." you pleaded looking him in the eyes, he couldn't take it any longer. In one swift move he tore the panties off you, they were soaked, and he sniffed them one last time before throwing them out. He took off his own underwear, and knelt between your legs his cock in his hand already.

"You're so wet for me. Such a good girl, I'm going to fuck you so good." he purred out, and you could go off his words only. He put on condom quickly and teased your entrance before sliding into you slowly. He was watching your face intently as he didn't want to cause you pain.

"Just don't move for a second, you're so big I need to get used to the stretch." It was painful a and pleasant at the same time - the way he filled you up. He didn't buck his hips as you asked, instead he kissed your lips, your jaw, neck, and you kissed him back with passion. Soon he started rocking into you and you moaned into his mouth.

"Harder." you managed to say between the panting and kissing. He straightened up and increased the tempo, sweat building on his forehead.

"Harder..." you said and his hand went to your throat while he almost crushed into you. He choked you lightly, and you felt the orgasm building already.

"Daddy... harder..."

"You dirty girl. On all fours." You obediently followed his order and soon he was fucking you doggy style, his hand spanking you lightly. "You like that? You like when daddy takes you hard?" His voice was so low you shivered under him.

"Yes, daddy." you moaned out when his huge dick filled you with each thrust.

"You're so dirty and good to your daddy. I will reward you and play with your other hole." Before you could say anything he spat on your ass and his finger danced around the other entrance. Just that was enough for you to see white. Your toes curled and your head went back, you screamed his name like it was the only thing keeping you alive, and you could feel how he twitched inside you when you clenched around him in orgasm spasm.

"Y/N, ah... I'm cumming, I'm…" he said through gritted teeth while pounding into you. You both reached your highs and fell onto the bed. He discarded the condom and started kissing your back lazily.

"Do you want to shower together?" he asked.

"Yes, but I don't think I have enough energy to go for another round…" you said while turning his way. He was looking at you lovingly, his expression completely fucked out. He was beautiful, the most handsome you've ever seen him actually. You sighed when his fingers brushed off hair from your face in sweet gesture.

"That's ok, I'll just shower you and we can go to sleep." You nodded, and he took your hand and guided you to his bathroom. He switched on the shower and pulled you under the water when it was warm already. He was so delicate with you, soaping your body, shampooing your head. You smiled at him warmly, and he chuckled.

"You're really cute." he said with a smile after making and weird shapes out of your shampooed hair.

"Stop it, I'll blush." you said while getting under the water, he was quickly spooning you, kissing your back almost with devotion.

"Good, you're even cuter when you blush."

You both towelled yourself dry and Jaebeom even brushed your hair for you before pulling you back to bed. You cuddled your face into his chest and he closed his arms around you. You didn't know if it was one-night stand only, but you'd worry about your possibly broken heart in the morning since his scent was already inviting you to the dreamworld.

You woke up to some rumbling. You opened your eyes and shot up, fear washing over you — that wasn't your bedroom. Memories of last night came next, and you fell back to the sheets squealing quietly into his pillow. That's when the realization hit you. What if it was just one-night stand, and you were rolling around his bed happily in love like an idiot? You sighed but before you could do anything, the man in question came to the bedroom smiling at you warmly.

"You finally woke up sleepyhead." He sat next to you and bend down to kiss your cheek. You looked down. "What's wrong? Have I done something?" He looked concerned.

"I.. no." You said sitting up, and he raised his brow on you. Ugh, he was looking great wearing a plain gray hoodie. You sighed.

"Was that one just for one night? If it was a one-night stand tell me now before I do something stupid."

"One-night stand?" He looked at you offended. "One-night stand?! Do you even know for how long I've been crushing on you? It was few years of my desperate attempts to ask you out, buying you coffee, looking for you constantly. Hell, I even made Yugyeom exchange the stupid lottery draw with me, so that I could give you that card. I actually thought that would helped me out with asking you out. One-night stand?! Jesus, Y/N, he made me basically his slave for a day, and you're asking me if it's one-night stand?" He was angry, and you looked at him shocked, you have never seen him like that. "Do you want this to be one-night stand?!" he raised his voice again.

"No!" you answered him immediately.

"No?! Great, then you can... wait you said no?" He cleared his throat, and you could actually see him smiling like an idiot before he cleared it again. "Well… good because I made us lunch already, and it would go to waste otherwise." He tried to act cool. You giggled at him and pushed him down before sitting on top of him.

"You're cute." You said and he blushed looking away.

"I'm not."

"Yes you are. You are the cutest actually." He groaned in response getting even more red, and you giggled once again. It was the first time you got him to blush so much, usually it was just light pink appearing on the apples of his cheeks. You kissed his face leaving pecks all over it, he chuckled before speaking again.

"I don't want this to be one-night stand. I like you I was actually planning on asking you out yesterday."

"You were?"

"I was. So would like to go out with me?" he wiggled his brows at you and you grinned before nodding.

"Mmm. I'd love to." you answered and he pulled you for a lazy kiss.

"Come, I prepared some food for you. It's hardly festive, but it's something"

"I'm sure it's great. I just need to put something on myself first."

"You can have my hoodie and sweats." he said while looking through his cabinet. "Here." He handed you clothes and blushed once again mumbling that he will wait for you in the kitchen. He got embarrassed — that was just too cute.

You slipped in his clothes, his smell wrapping around you. You got out of the bedroom only to be greeted by three cats purring and brushing against your legs. You smiled and petted them, scratching them on their chins. Jaebeom was just standing and staring at you, still not believing his luck. You were wearing his blouse, it was hanging on you like a dress basically and his heart ached at this picture. You looked up and grinned.

"They like me!"

"I'm pretty sure they're going to like you more than they like me." He chuckled. "Now come, let's eat."

You nodded and entered his kitchen, there was kimchi jjigae and rice prepared for both of you. You smiled and sat down already salivating because of the delicious smell.

"Merry Christmas Y/N." He said looking up from his dish.

"Merry Christmas Jaebeom." You smiled at him lovingly. "So what did Yugyeom made you do?"

"Don't even ask." He said and you giggled. Let's just say you didn't get to spend the Christmas break alone in the bed like you wished.

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hearteyesbowen · 5 years ago

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just friends ☆ joshua bassett

you and joshua are just friends and nothing else. promise.

warnings: angsty, some swearing, some steamy writing, at this point assume anything i write may be long

part I , part II

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Your eyes flutter open slowly, a bright yellow light blinding you as you wake up. You rub your dry eyes and smooth out your messy hair. The pounding in your head disturbs you as you clear your throat. You attempt to sit up on your bed until an a strong arm left at your hip prevents you from moving up any further. You look to your side and see a familiar hand, so you look back further and saw your best friend, Joshua. His curly brown hair covered more than half of his face, only showing his slightly open mouth. Soft snores escaped his lips as you watched his chest rise up and down slowly. You almost completely forgot you slept over at his house last night.

You laid back down and faced Josh, wanting to stare at his calming features. His arm tightened around your waist and brought you slightly closer. You felt your cheeks heat up. You did your best not to wake him as you moved your arm to snuggle into his warm body more. Your plan failed when you felt him softly shuffle above you and let out a low groan.

“Y/N?” Josh groaned lowly. His morning voice next to your ear gave you goosebumps.

“Josh?” You whispered.

“Did I wake you up?” He said as he removed his arm from your waist to rub his eyes. He moved his arms back to you and brought you back closer to him tightly. “Sorry about that, angel.”

“I’ve been awake for a bit.” You mumbled into his shoulder.

“Do I have to do anything today?”

You shook your head to say no.

“Do you want to go to the diner and get breakfast?” He asked sweetly, bringing your head back to look at you. You nodded and he let out a soft chuckle.

Josh arm slid off your waist. He sat up and stretched out his arm above him, letting the blanket covering his body fall off and revealed his toned stomach. You almost forgot that he went to sleep without a shirt on. You also forgot how much Josh likes to work out on his free days. He got up from the bed and went to his dresser. He noticed how you kept watching him grab clothes from his drawer.

“Are you going to keep falling in love with me or are you going to shower? Because if you don’t go now I’m going to take my sweet ass time.” He joked.

You jumped up from his cozy bed and threw the blanket at Josh, covering his body. You did a quick stretch of your body and saw Josh look you up and down. “Don’t flatter yourself, sweetheart.” You strutted past him and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

Yours and Josh’s friendship was odd. You’ve been friends ever since he moved to the house next to you five years ago. It started off as a normal friendship; You two would hang out all the time and even go on road trips once a month. Then about three years ago it shifted. You would always playfully flirt with each other, which confused all your friends and family. But neither of you saw it as flirting. You both somewhat understood what you were doing, but it never fully clicked as to how it actually seemed. Your parents would always tease you about him. You always went out to eat and see movies together, you would pretend to be dating if someone in public was making the other uncomfortable, and cuddling together or sleeping with each other became a norm. Either way, a relationship between you two would never work, you lived totally different lives.

Once Josh got hired to play the part of Ricky Bowen on High School Musical: The Musical: The Series, he definitely needed some help managing all of his time, and basically his life. You would offer to help him any time he needed you, so he made the best choice to hire you as his assistant. It didn’t change your friendship, it’s just that now you know his schedule and have the numbers to his manager and his publicist. This choice, however, sparked more talk between not only your family, but also his fans. If he were to post a picture with you, then his comments immediately flooded with either questions about your relationship or them “shipping” you two.

You never thought of Josh as your boyfriend. When other friends or family would ask you about him and as to whether or not you did like him, you always said no, it’s what you genuinely believed. Although thoughts of you developing feelings for him did cross your mind, you thought it was just a phase and you would get over it. And you did. The idea of ruining your friendship brought you fear, probably more than the idea of being in a relationship, which you absolutely despised.

After you both took a quick shower, you grabbed your keys from your purse and went back to Josh’s room. He was bent over, looking for something in his drawer. He turned around and instantly had a smug smile on his face as he found what he was looking for. He found the sweater he was searching for in his dresser worn on your body. It was his light beige sweatshirt that he would wear when he recorded a lot of his music. Coincidentally, it was the same one he would give you every time he saw you sad or crying, to which you grew a strong fondness for it.

“I don’t get why you like that sweater so much, it’s literally my most plain and boring one.” Josh laughed as he brought you into his side with his hand on your waist.

“I don’t know either.” You lied.

“Whatever, you always make my clothes look way better than me.” He complimented, wrapping his arms around your head and yours around his waist for a tight hug. He pulled away slightly to look down at you, your noses barely touching. “Are you ready to go out?”

➢➣ ➢➣

“Shut up, dickhead!”

Josh slammed his hands on the steering wheel of his car. His loud laugh burned into your ears with embarrassment and discomfort. He slammed his body on the back of his seat and clutched onto the sides of his stomach and the fabric of his sweatshirt. He snorted, trying to catch his breath.

“Y/N, you’re such an amazing girlfriend.” He joked

As to why Josh was now stuck in a fit of laughter was all your fault. While at the diner, Josh received a phone call from his manager, which he of course had to take. You were both waiting on any news about the show as he was promised a special announcement from Disney. He was told to come to set tomorrow to film something, but he didn’t know what yet.

The moment he left, the waitress that escorted you to your seats had come to take your orders. You told her what you wanted, and she asked about Josh, referring to him as your boyfriend. Without even thinking of what she said, you continued to tell her what you knew Josh would have wanted, which led her to believe he actually was your boyfriend. You still had not realized what happened until you were both finishing your food and the waitress came back with the check, mentioning you two as a couple. To not make it seem awkward, Josh played along ( and would not stop teasing you about it for the rest of breakfast ). So here you are now; Josh is still not able to breathe.

You shifted in your seat, “You can take me home now, Joshua.”

He wiped his teary eyes and calmed down from his fit of laughter. “Aww, I’ll stop now. I’m sorry for laughing so much.”

He placed his hand on your lower thigh and gently rubbed it. You eyed him and earned back a sincere smile. You rolled your eyes playfully at him, and placed your hand on top of his to give it a tight squeeze. He brought your hand up to his lips and gave it a soft kiss, making you hide your flushed face. Josh noticed and let out a quiet chuckle before starting the car.

“I was writing something a few days ago. I don’t know if I should record it.” Josh spoke, glancing at you.

You sat up straight and excitedly looked at Josh, “Can I hear it?”

“It sucks, Y/N.”

“Please, Josh. Everything you write is so beautiful. You know I love all of your songs, literally all of them.” You squeezed Josh’s hand tighter that stayed on your thigh.

“Maybe when we get home. It’s not a lot, it’s basically four lines, so don’t get your hopes up.” He warned.

“I’ll love it no matter what.” You smiled.

➢➣ ➢➣

You followed Josh to the staircase of his house. He had promised to let you listen to his new song and record it if you “didn’t make a big deal out of it.” You sat two steps above Josh where you knew his phone camera wouldn’t get you in frame. He brought his ukelele out with him too, and he nervously fiddled with the strings.

“Don’t laugh, ok?” He mumbled, trying to sit on the step comfortably.

You shook your head and watched as he let out a deep breath. He scooted up to his phone and went to the camera, and hit the red record button.

“I wish you all the best,

cause lord knows you deserve it.

And it took me time to see,

but I understand,

the best just isn’t me.”

Josh finished playing the final chord and quickly stopped the video. He let out a large exhale and slowly faced you. You were in awe. You were always so greatful when he played his songs in front of you, especially because you were the first one to hear them. He was regularly writing love songs, and each time you thought for a second that he was thinking of you as he wrote it. You always convinced yourself that it was nothing or it was for someone else, but this song felt different.

“So?” He asked nervously.

“Josh,” You gasped out, “that was so beautiful.”

“Don’t lie, it sucked.”

You got up from your step and moved to sit next to him. He set his ukelele in the step above you two and faced his body towards you. You held his hands in yours and he squeezed them tightly.

“It’s an amazing song, Josh. If you put out all those songs you wrote you would understand how much of an amazing songwriter you are. You’re the best musician I know.”

Josh looked up at you and gave you a small smile. He scooted closer to you and held your waist. You stared at him for what seemed like forever. Josh darted between your eyes and your lips. Instinctively, you slowly inched towards him, and you felt him do the same. Your lips were so close that you felt your breath fan over each other. Your mind raced with various thoughts; Just do it, if you never take the chance you will regret it. But if you take that chance and it ruins everything, then you would lose Josh.

A part of you stopped and backed away, Josh following suit. He quickly removed his hands from your waist and you scooted a few inches away from him. You cleared your throat and got up from the stairs. You held your hand out for him to grab and he hesitantly took your offer. He stood taller than you and with your chests almost touching.

“You want to watch a movie?” Josh asked, picking up his instrument.

“Sounds great. I’ll get the snacks.” You offered. You walked down the steps, leaving Josh alone to think about what just happened.

You ran down the remainder of the stairs and tried to reach the kitchen without stumbling, but you nearly ran into one of the bookshelves and almost fell over the couch. Your whole body felt lighter. You reached the kitchen counter and rested against it. Your hands grazed through your hair and roughly massaged it. The headache you felt from the past five minutes overtook you. You don’t like Josh that way, so why did you want to kiss him so badly?

Shaking your headache aside, you opened one of the wooden cabinets above you. You found the large box of popcorn that Josh bought and tried your best to reach for one of the packages. Once you did, you tore off the plastic packaging and harshly threw the bag into the microwave and set the timer. You laid back on the corner of the counter and let out a large sigh.

“Y/N?” You heard Josh’s voice from the living room and his steps that grew louder towards the kitchen. You immediately stood up straight and fixed yourself to look collected. He walked in and abruptly stopped when he saw you agaisnt his counter. You noticed his loss of words, “W-What movie do y-you want to watch”

“Anything, it’s your turn to pick the movie.” You replied.

He started to walk up to you and your breath got hitched in your throat. “Should I make hot chocolate?” He questioned.

You gave him a simple nod, trying not to stare at him for too long. He moved closer to you and you looked up at him. One of his arms gripped the counter to your side. He looked straight at you, his mouth slightly agape. You took in all his features once again.

“I’m sorry, I just need to get the mugs.” He whispered lowly, staring between you and the cabinet above you. You could have sworn he was about to lean in again.

Your head snapped back and you realized how much you overthink his little gestures. “It’s fine, I can get it.” You offered.

You turned around and stood on your toes, trying to reach for your favorite mugs. Why on the top shelf Joshua? Almost out of instinct, Josh held on to your waist to help you keep steady as you lunged for the cups. You let out a quiet gasp in shock. This isn’t new for him to do, stop overthinking. You eventually grabbed them and handed it over to Josh.

“I’ll make it just how you like it.” He smiled.

➢➣ ➢➣

Josh decided that you should finish your High School Musical marathon and watch the final movie. The first 30 minutes of the movie could not have been more dreadful to watch. The tension in the air was thick, and you were both so used to singing the songs together right next to each other. You two were almost on opposite ends of the couch, which although wasn’t too far away from each other, there was still a gap between you. The only thing separating you two was the bowl of popcorn.

Troy and Gabriella met at the rooftop of their high school, he had just asked her to prom. As much as you tried to hold it in to not seem bored, you let out a quick yawn. Josh overheard the little whimper you let out and scooted closer to your direction.

“Do you want to lay down on my shoulder?” Josh asked politely.

“You don’t have to,” You denied.

“I insist, come.” He demanded. He held out an arm for you to snuggle into.

You reluctantly got up and moved the popcorn bowl to the coffee table in front of you and sat down next to Josh. You moved the sweatshirt that he took off from behind the seat and to your lap. You left the smallest bit of space to not seem weird, although, for you, this whole situation was weird. Josh chuckled at your nervousness and scooted in closer to stop the big space. His arm wrapped around your shoulder and you laid on his. It felt as though nothing happened between you two nearly an hour ago.

Troy and Gabriella were in the middle of singing, and you hummed softly to the music. You felt Josh’s stare burn through you, but you tried to hold back from looking at him. You paid as much attention to the movie as you could. The two in the movie were in the middle of the rain, and were staring at each other intently, almost like how you and Josh were a while ago. They slowly leaned in as they were about to kiss until the bell rang, interrupting their moment.

You heard a snort come from Josh, “I swear, they’re always about to kiss every ten minutes and something always stops them at the last minute.”

You giggled, “I know, they should just finish what they were about to start.”

“Yeah, we should.” Josh replied. You turned to look at him instantly, thrown off by his remark.

“What?” You shifted your body to face him, one leg laying on the cushion and tucked under the other leg hanging off the couch.

“You know what I mean, let’s finish what we started. Your words.” He insisted. “Did you ever think we were just friends?” He whispered into your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.

He altered his position to mirror you, facing your body directly. He rested his hand on your knee and moved closer to exclude any unwanted space between you two, playing with the material of the sweater still on your lap.

“Is this ok?”

“Yes.” You murmered directly.

You studied his eyes for any hint of a joke. Josh did nothing but admire you. His hand crept up to your cheek and the other around your waist. Like the staircase, you both veered towards each other. You felt his soft lips brush ever so slightly on yours, feeling his hot breath again. He drifted away the slightest to look at you, searching for any sign of discomfort or aversion. You gave a minimal nod as to let Josh continue, which was all he needed.

Josh pushed his lips onto yours for a soft and sweet kiss. The hand that wasn’t on his hot chest went to his neck. You kissed back gently. Josh pulled away extremely slow, lingering his lips on yours for however long he could. His eyes slowly fluttered open, showing an almost dreamy daze. His hands fell from your face and waist to your legs.

You stared at each other for the smallest second, before the confidence deeply hidden inside of you struck out. You pulled him back onto you, and Josh waisted no time in eagerly kissing you back. His hands traveled up your thighs, gripping them tightly. He swiftly grabbed his sweater that lay on your lap and threw it across the room. You pressed up your chest to his and tilted your head to deepen the kiss further.

Josh went to put his hand on your lower back, pushing his body weight forward. You slowly went down behind you until your back reached the couch softly. He hovered over you, passionately kissing you. You played with the curls on his hair, twirling it around your finger. You felt him bite down on your lower lip, making you gasp. He took the opportunity to slide his tongue in, feeding into your teenage hormones. You tugged at the hem of his shirt, trying to pull it off. Josh removed your hands and pushed you back down quickly, trailing long and awfully slow kisses from your lips to your neck. You felt him bite under your ear, earning a whimper from you. You could practically feel the smirk playing on his face.

He sat up from on top of you and pulled at his shirt from the collar, removing it completely. He quickly attacked your neck again, leaving deep red marks on your neck down to your collarbone, stopping where his sweater covered the rest of your body. You bit your lip to hold back the noises begging to come out. His lips traced back up to your face, fervently kissing your swollen lips. You tugged at his hair, making him groan into the kiss, and you quickly nudged his face up and to his neck. You were able to leave two big marks under his ear before he wanted to go back to giving you attention.

You heard a vibration coming from Josh’s pants. The buzzing didn’t seem to stop him, as he kept creating new marks all over your neck. You wish you would have ignored it too, but you knew it could have been his manager again about the show. You grabbed Josh’s face and held it up to you, his face confused as to why you stopped him.

“Your phone, Josh.”

“That can wait.” Josh grumbled, desperate for his lips to be back on your body. He was stronger than you, so he easily pushed your hands aside to kiss under your ear again.

“Josh,” You moaned out, pulling his face away from your neck again, “just answer it. I’ll still be here.”

He let out a groan, and kissed your lips tenderly once more. He got out his phone that was almost about to finish ringing, and got up from your position. You sat up as well, fixing your possibly messy hair.

“Olivia?” Josh sounded in shock as he answered the phone. “What do you mean you’re here? With Matt?”

Panic took over you and Josh, and he quickly threw on his shirt. You fixed up the couch, picking up the sweater that Josh threw earlier, and bringing the dishes left on the counter to the sink.

“Yeah, I’ll get the door right now, just give me a second.” He rushed, hanging up immediately.

“Should I leave?” You asked, reaching for your bag that was left on the floor next to the couch.

Josh rapidly grabbed your arm and held it to his chest, “No, no, no, please don’t. I promise it will be quick. You can stay.”

“They’re going to see your neck, and worst of all, mine.” You said in fear.

“Please, Y/N. Stay.” He begged.

You let out a sigh, holding his face in your hands to kiss his cheek, “I’ll be in your room.”

➢➣ ➢➣

Josh had been gone for about 10 minutes, leaving you to hear them scream in joy for something you have yet to find out about. After a while it got quiet, which made you as to wonder if they had left or if they were still talking. Either way, you didn’t want to go down and check.

You took that time alone to really grasp what just happened. Everything moved so fast, and you weren’t prepared to face it. In the moment, you would have thought nothing of it, just pushing aside the reality of the situation and focusing on Josh’s body on yours. Now the guilt has come flooding in, overwhelmingly. You didn’t want to like Josh, it would just over complicate you relationship, as if it weren’t already. You hated the idea of dating, it was never something you were good at. All of your relationships ended with you being cheated on or lied to. You know Josh isn’t like that, but the memories it brings back is like nightmare fuel. And now you almost possibly hooked up with your friend ( and kind of your boss ).

You heard footsteps rushing up closer to Josh’s room, sending nerves to your body. The door swung open, making you jump in fear. Josh saw you lying on his bed, almost like this morning, and he tried to catch his breath.

“What happened, Josh?” You wondered, sitting up on the bed and walking up to him.

“We start shooting for our second season tomorrow!” He yelled out, a large smile built upon his face.

The anxiety somewhat washed away, leaving excitement for your friend. “That’s amazing! I’m so proud of you!”

Josh brought you back in for a tight embrace, picking you up off the floor. As he set you back down, he moved his head back to look at you. He leaned down again to try and kiss you, but you stopped him.

“I think we should talk about what happened.” Josh pulled away awkwardly, nodding.

“Yeah, you’re right.” He sat down on his bed, “Listen, I’m sorry if I took things too far. I honestly don’t know what came over me, it was kind of an ‘in the moment’ type of thing. I’m not usually like that.”

You sat down directly next to him, “I’m not saying I didn’t like it, because I sort of liked it a lot. But I’m more worried about what this means for us. We’ve been just friends for years, so why did today feel different.”

“It’s been feeling different, Y/N. Don’t lie to me and tell me you haven’t felt something change between us.” He argued.

“Josh, I know things have changed, but we can’t do this. We’re friends, and worse, I’m your assistant, too. How could that ever work out?” You whined.

“You being my assistant has changed nothing, absolutely nothing. And ‘only friends’ don’t sleep in the same bed together, or constantly flirt with each other, or make out on one’s couch.”

“What are you saying, Josh?” You asked reluctantly.

“I’m saying that I feel something for you that I know is wrong, but I have to express. Y/N, I like you, and maybe it took me a long time to realize but, fuck, you’re the best thing in my life.” He angrily blurted out. “All those songs I wrote, I always thought of you. I know you don’t like relationships, I know that. I’m so sorry I put you in this position, but please, let me try.”

You felt your eyes water, “This is all moving too fast for me. Josh, we can’t do this.”

“You couldn’t have said that before we made out?” He cried, rubbing his head restlessly.

“That was my fault. But I can’t, Josh. I’m sorry. I really want to say yes, but it’s all too much to handle at once. I’m so sorry.” You choked out, getting up from his bed.

“Y/N,” Josh stood up and grabbed your arm, forcing you to turn around.

“Just give me some time, alright? I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You yanked your arm out of Josh’s grasp and walked out the door, leaving Josh alone in his room to think if he ruined his life.

A/N - so this is probably has the most sexual-ish writing i can do without feeling like ive sinned ( ironic ) . i took the inspo of his music from his instagram , just not in the same order (: hope u like this little story , planning on making it a small series , so let me know what u think !! love y’all xx

#ricky bowen imagine #ricky bowen x reader #ricky bowen #ricky bowen blurbs #ricky bowen fluff #ricky bowen angst #ricky bowen oneshot #joshua bassett x reader #joshua bassett imagine #joshua bassett #joshua bassett oneshot #joshua bassett blurbs #joshua bassett fluff #joshua bassett angst #hsmtmts imagine #hsmtmts

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meowdymista · 4 years ago

Text

Van der Driscoll Pt 2

Arthur Morgan x Fem!Reader

You guys asked for more. Again, it is not perfect, BUT I accidentally wrote so much with so many perfect cut off points... Instead of smashing it in one post, I’m going to hit you up with Part 3 Saturday 9am GMT just coz

Word count: 1540

Warnings: Violence, abuse

Part One & Masterlist

Part Three

He stiffens at that, his eyes darkening introspectively. "Heidi?"

Hysteria bubbles in your chest. "You don't know her name? You don’t even-!” A laugh erupts from your throat. “How do you act so high and mighty when you don’t even know her name?"

"Y/N-"

"She wouldn’t have been there if it weren't for me! And then I went ahead and slept with her killer!"

"I weren't on that ferry-"

"But you stayed knowing what he had done!" You choke as the sobs finally overcome you. "You stayed with him and I stayed with Colm and… I thought you made it better, but this is so so much worse."

Arthur swears, reaching for you before retracting his hand hesitantly. "I'm sorry- if I'd have known…"

"You'd what? Leave them?" You try to scoff but the corners of your mouth are dragging too far towards your chin. “You have that luxury?”

He sighs, defeated. “You ain’t been in the game as long as I have. Sometimes things get messy.”

“Messy is a pile of lawmen. Messy is a couple of horses being lost.”

“I wasn’t there - things go wrong-”

“A job gone wrong is loss without a payday - it was a fucking massacre, Arthur! It was indiscriminate slaughter!”

“I’m sorry, ok? We’re all sorry about what happened!” He flicks the reins as if determined to leave the gang behind. “Nobody knows why, but everything blew up and bodies started hitting the deck. You ain’t the only one that lost family on that damn ferry - we lost more people than we have done in years. We tried to tell him it didn’t feel right- but no one ever imagined that...”

He trails off, his chin low, eyes only seeing the road ahead. You shake your head, wanting nothing more than to curl up and cry, but the bonds are unforgiving so you stay as you are, looking anywhere but at the driver besides you.

Hours pass in silence. You catch him worrying in your peripherals occasionally, but it does nothing to help the ache in your chest nor the overwhelming exhaustion that has burrowed its way into your bone marrow.

Balancing a cigarette between his lips, he strikes a match on the bottom of his boot. When it’s lit, he offers it to you but you turn your head further away.

“I’ve been smoking a lot lately,” he mutters, smoke curling from his lips. “I’m starting to doubt whether I’m breathing you in or smoking you out.” He throws you another glance, his eyes sad under the rim of his hat as he takes another deep drag. You close your eyes, trying to ignore the pain that ripples in his words.

“Didn’t expect to see you out here!”

Your stomach flutters as the familiar face grunts its way into view. He stretches his legs out, leaning back on his arms that have crossed over your own. Officially seated, he gives you a dazzling smile that makes you melt.

“Can a lady not enjoy some peace and quiet in this town?”

He chuckles, setting the worn gambler’s hat aside as he lights a smoke. “Surprised you’d want to.”

You nudge him playfully, accepting the proffered tobacco with fixed eye contact. You inhale the same air he’s blowing into the misty morning, trying not to let the blush creep up your neck. “What brings you back to Valentine? Outta supplies already?”

He rolls his eyes. “I wish.” You cock a flirtatious eyebrow, but he shakes his head, suddenly serious. “Where were you last week? I made the trip especially.”

“I was… visiting friends,” you lie.

“D’your friends know about me?”

“Do yours?”

His fingers caress your hand as he takes back the cigarette. “Touché.”

“What would you have done if it had been the other way round?” he asks eventually. “If you and Colm’s boys came into our camp… What would you have done?”

“I kill men - not women.” You open your eyes to meet his brooding gaze. “I… can’t imagine I’d have done well when I learned about the boy neither.”

“If they weren’t there?”

You swallow the lump in your throat as he looks away. “I wouldn’t have had a choice.”

“There’s always a choice,” he says lowly. “Is that what you tell yourself?” Your laugh is damp.

“This life…”

“Is shit.” You scoff as his lips thin. “We don’t go into it because we want to. The only reason we stick with it is because we’ve made too many enemies to go clean.”

“C’mon, it ain’t all bad-”

“Everything about us is fucked because we got caught in the crosshairs.” His mouth twists, your own disappointment reflected in his slouched shoulders. “You made me feel like… like all this mess was happening for a reason, but now…” Your voice breaks. “Even if I got away from Colm, you won’t leave Dutch. You wouldn’t have taken me back there if you could’ve. Everything is just… fucked.”

"How's your side?” he enquires gently.

"Least of my worries,” you mutter. You haven’t been able to sleep properly for weeks now, and when you do, your dreams are borderline hallucinogenic. The exhaustion has long since soaked into your bones, and now with your limbs bound for yet another unending hour, it wasn’t like the wound (or your broken tooth) were worthy of your concern.

Your giggles peeter out as you realise what he’s seeing. His eyes are soft and sad as his fingertips drink in the irregularities of your skin as gently as they can.

“Every one of them is a story,” you murmur, pulling his chin up and away from your body. “A story for another time.”

The corner of his lips tucks into his cheek. “Well, if we ain’t sharing secrets-” He leans back and pulls his shirt over his head in one swift tug. Your hands are small, pale and delicate against the muscles of his stomach. You comb them through the golden hair, trying not to linger on the silver scars that litter his body.

You wrap a hand around the back of his neck and pull him in, wordlessly thanking him. He responds firmly, his tongue tracing your lips as your bodies mould to one another. Despite your efforts, you realise with a sinking stomach that you have gone and fallen in love with him.

Graceful in defeat, you gorge yourself in this new emotion, allowing yourself to bask in the temporary bliss that is his company.

Dirt builds up behind your nails as you hiss back into the present moment.

“Done,” breathes Arthur, his fingers grazing the soft flesh of your hip as he cuts the thread. “I guess I should have guessed where all your stories came from. I didn’t mean to become one of them.”

You try to inspect the stitches yourself but they’re just out of your line of sight. Pulling down your shirt, you look around for the bedroll. Every string of every muscle is screaming for rest, no matter how temporary. As though reading your mind, Arthur tuts.

“You need to eat somethin’.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You should be. When was the last time you ate?”

“I don’t know. I don’t care either."

He lights another cigarette as you crawl across the grass of your small camp and collapse just inside the tent. You barely close your eyes before the smell of tobacco wakes you again.

“Eat.”

You groan loudly. “What about you?”

“Forget about me.” A cigarette is pinched between his incisors as he begins to pack away the camp. “If you don’t start eatin’, I’m gonna have to do something we’ll both regret.”

The weight of your arms with the small spoon of soup is laughable. You force your mouth to meet it, your entire focus taken up by the menial task. You manage half a bowl before surrendering. Arthur is watching you over the back of his horse, the lines between his brows digging six feet into his head. He looks away quickly, his mouth still a thin line despite his efforts.

“We got another while to go yet.”

“Where are we going?” You watch him unpin the tent and fold it up.

“East.”

“East?” you repeat, laughing at how your ears have warped the sound. Your stomach sinks as you watch him purposely avoid you. “You handing me over?”

“What? No! O’course not, Y/N, I ain’t stupid.”

“Then… why east?” You watch him closely and notice his knee jittering despite his weight. “Where are you taking me?”

“You can’t stay here.”

“And you can’t let me go. If Colm catches me-”

“I won’t let him.”

“Then… what?” You swallow the lump in your throat. “I know you ain’t going to let me stay with you after what I said about Dutch.” Your weak laugh comes out breathless. “Arthur?”

“I’ll make sure you get out of here alright. I owe you that at least.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” you state as calmly as you can. “I’ll be fine.”

The shadows under his eyes are darker today. You can’t help but wonder how much longer he stayed awake after you passed out. “I won’t be able to forgive myself if something happens to you, Y/N. Let me have this.”

#rdr2 fanfic #rdr2 fic #red dead fic #red dead fanfic #arthur x female reader #Arthur Morgan x Female Reader #Arthur Morgan x Reader #arthur morgan #Arthur Morgan x O'Driscoll #MeowdyMista

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kpopmultifan127 · 4 years ago

Text

Y/N is mine now!

Characters: Felix (roommate) x female reader

Other Characters: Xiaojun (Bf to Ex Bf), Johnny & Irene

Disclaimer: fluff. Roommate into lovers

Word Count: 2,501

POV keeps changing lol sorry

It kind of just goes right into it, this is an old story I wrote awhile back and just never posted it lol.

Y/n and XiaoJun have been having problems the past few months and it’s killing her. She still really does love him but it hurts so much constantly getting into arguments with him. Even y/n’s roommate Felix notices she’s been stressing out so much.

Felix: You need a day off y/n

Y/n: Believe me I would love a day off

Y/n was always either studying and or working. It was hard to do both at the same time, but before they got into all those arguments XiaoJun was so caring and always made sure y/n got home safe. Also always making sure she never overworked herself with her studies..

But lately ever since they started fighting he never called to see if y/n got home safe, or came to check up on her in the library. Y/n would text him asking if he was going to come and walk her home or help her study. All y/n would get from him is “no I’m tired….” or “call Felix to pick you up.” Felix was actually the one that got them together. To be honest...before she started dating XiaoJun y/n had a thing for Felix, and y/n thought he had a thing for her too, but when he set them up together that’s when she knew he didn’t.

Felix was always there for y/n from day one. To when they had their first date which he helped set up and to their first fight. He knew what to say or do to y/n to make her feel better. There were many times y/n tried not to get him involved because it would make things awkward. Felix always texted, “are you ok? Did you need a ride home?” or “you should sleep, don’t get sick” little stuff like that, stuff XiaoJun used to say to her. Now it’s nothing, or just one syllable answers.

Y/n & Felix got to school and y/n had exams coming up.

Felix: Let me guess, you’re going to the library to study?

Y/n: Is that really a question? You should know already

As they got to the library they saw their friends Irene her boyfriend Johnny. Irene noticed they entered the library and waved her hands to have Felix and y/n to sit with them.

Y/n: hey guys...what are you doing here?

Johnny: well I was trying to study....she just came here to nap.

Irene nudges him as she rests her head on his arm.

Irene: I need my beauty rest..

Y/n just smiled at them at how disgustingly cute they were. Something that’s what y/n and XiaoJun use to do. Felix saw how her smile became dull and tilted his head so he could see her face.

Felix: Hey are you ok?”

Y/n: --oh yeah I’m fine. Just thinking about my test

Which was a lie, she missed how her and Xiaojun use to be like that. Where he slept on y/n’s arm while she studied and she watched how peaceful he slept. Y/n tried to forget about it and continued to study. She stopped for a second and sent XiaoJun a message.

{To: XiaoJun <3}

11:12 AM: Let’s go on a date today. Maybe dinner & a movie??

{From: XiaoJun <3}

11:15 AM: ...wait why?

{To: XiaoJun <3}

11:17 AM: What do you mean why? Bc we are bf & gf….they go on dates..

{From: XiaoJun <3}

11:20 AM: I have stuff to do, and by the time I’m done with it all it’ll be too late and I need to sleep.

Y/n doesn’t even know why she even tried. Felix saw y/n put her phone back down and saw how glossy her eyes had gotten.

Felix: Are you sure you’re ok?

Y/N: Yeah I’m fine…

He could tell she was lying because she didn’t make eye contact with him and she just stared at her paper. He then tapped y/n’s hand and pointed in an isle so they could talk. So they walked over to a section where y/n just stared at the floor.

As she just stood there he says,

Felix: I know you’re lying y/n. Something happened. I’ve known you for so long, hell you’re my roommate. You should know by now I’m always here for you.

He was right, he knew everything about y/n, when she had her period. He was there to take care of her when her cramps acted up real bad. He knew what snacks you liked and what movies you liked to watch, your favorite food. He knew EVERYTHING. So he knew exactly when she was lying too. Y/n was holding onto her phone as tears began to fall. He grabbed the phone out of her hand and read the message she had sent to XiaoJun and read his replies. Y/n could see how upset he got as he read each one. Y/n snatched the phone away from him.

Y/N: It’s nothing really...don’t worry about it

Her tears slowly began to fall. She tried to walk away from him but he pulled her back into his arms to give her a warm hug.

Felix: It’s ok y/n, you can cry you know I’m always here for you.

Y/n couldn’t hold it in anymore and began to let her tears fall as she had her head buried into his arms and hugging each other.

Y/N: Why does he do this to me? Am I that horrible of a person to be with, am I that boring? If I am why doesn’t he just break up with me already

Y/n’s tears continuously fell as they stood there kept telling her everything will be ok. He pulled y/n back so he could look at her and wipe the tears that had fallen.

Y/N: Sorry I always come to you to cry. telling him while looking at the ground.

He just smiled

Felix: Never be sorry, I told you from day one I’m always going to be here for you. No matter how big or small it is

Felix always knew what to say and do to make y/n feel better. When they got back to their seats in the library, XiaoJun was sitting where they were talking stories with Johnny and Irene. As she sat down he didn’t acknowledge that y/n was there or even say hi.

Y/N: “Hey stranger,” she said in a playful voice

XiaoJun: “Hey,” he said in a short irritated tone.

Everyone kind of looked at y/n awkwardly as he responded with such a short answer. Y/n didn’t like the atmosphere so she got up and started walking away. Felix grabbed her arm to not let her leave, y/n just gave him the “it’s ok I’m fine” face as he slowly let go of her arm. Irene saw that y/n was leaving and shouted out,

Irene: Hey y/n wait up.

As they kept walking y/n could see Felix become sincerely worried about her. And hated how XiaoJun treats her.

Felix: Hey XiaoJun how are you and Y/N?

XiaoJun: “Huh?—-oh yeah we fine”

Felix began to get annoyed at the fact he wasn’t all excited about y/n. He got a lil more irritated each time XiaoJun opened his mouth

Felix: Did you even realize she was sitting right next to you?

XiaoJun looked at him confused, XiaoJun: huh? What are you talking about?

With an irritated tone Felix replied

Felix: she sat right next to you and said hey you, and all you can answer to her is “hey” isn’t she your girlfriend?

Now XiaoJun began to get annoyed

XiaoJun: Bro what’s with you with you? You’ve been acting weird lately.

Felix almost lost his temper but kept his cool because he knew he was in the library and knew if y/n found out about what happened she’d be upset.

Felix: Forget it….I’m out of here. Later Johnny

Felix grabbed his things and left. Y/n class was about to start so when she got there Felix was already sitting down and she could see he looked irritated. As she set down her things y/n asked him,

Y/N: Hey are you ok?

He instantly changed the look on his face from angry into a smile which always lit up the room.

Felix: Oh yeah I’m fine as he said with a smile.

After class they were walking down the hall when y/n and Felix overheard whisperings from 2 girls looking at her as they passed. They heard “isn’t that Xiaojun’s ex girlfriend?” They both stopped in their tracks and y/n looked at them.

Y/N: Excuse me, did you just say ex girlfriend?

The 2 girls looked scared when she suddenly asked the question. One of them responded “oh...yeah. We heard you both broke up and he’s now with some girl named Wendy.” Y/n got so mad she just left.

Y/n needed to find him right away. She tried to hold back her tears as she was walking around to find him. Felix not too far behind from her, he was curious to see what was going on too. When she saw XiaoJun, he was talking to some girl touching her hand and being flirty. Everything went black and y/n didn’t realize what was going on. Everything was happening so fast. She walked up to them.

Y/N: “Ah so this must be Wendy. Your girlfriend” she said in an irritated tone followed by a scoff.

XiaoJun turned around realizing it was y/n,

XiaoJun: “Hey babe. It’s not what you think.” He said in a panicked voice.

Y/n stood there holding back her tears as she continued to say,

Y/n: Don’t call me babe....so this is why you’ve been acting all distant and “tired” all the time it’s because you were with this bitch.

He could see how mad y/n was getting and knew he already fucked up. He turned to Wendy and told her to go ahead and leave. As she was walking away y/n stood there with fists in her hand and tears falling. He turned back round to see y/n’s face. Before she could let him even get a word in y/n let everything out.

Y/N: So you’re telling me that was nothing but yet the entire school knows you fucked up and left me in the dust without a word. If you were so bored of me you should’ve just been a damn man and break up with me instead of being a dirty ass pig and go behind my back.

She couldn’t hold it in anymore and all of her tears she tried to hold back all fell down.

XiaoJun: Sorry I didn’t tell you any of it..to tell you the truth yes I was getting bored of you. If I knew you were going to be this dull I wouldn’t even have started to date you.

He continued speaking without holding anything back. Hearing that from him made y/n more mad than sad. It pretty much sounds like everything that started was all a lie from the beginning. He then got closer to y/n’s face, but before he could say anything Felix grabbed y/n and pulled her behind him. Standing close to XiaoJun’s face then begins to say

Felix: bro I don’t know what the fuck as gotten into you. But you were never like this.

XiaoJun just looked at him and laughed as he said,

XiaoJun: isn’t this your fault?

Felix was shocked to hear what XiaoJun told him and replied,

Felix: my fault?!

Then XiaoJun continued

XiaoJun: yeah if you didn’t bring her around none of this shit would have happened.

Y/n couldn’t stop crying as she stood behind Felix. She grips the back of Felix’s shirt more and more with more tears that fell with every word that came out of XiaoJun’s mouth. Felix then looked at him straight in the eyes and said,

Felix: well don’t regret what you did because she’s mine forever now.

Y/n was shocked at what he said to XiaoJun as he grabbed her hand and pulled y/n away from XiaoJun. They didn’t say a word as he was holding her hand until they got to a quiet spot. When they got there he pulled y/n in to give her a hug as tears still continued to fall.

He pulled y/n back and with a smile looked into her eyes as her wiped away her tears that had fallen. Y/n couldn’t make eye contact with him as she told him

Y/N: “You didn’t have to do that.”

He smiled and replied,

Felix: “I saw my chance and I took it.”

Y/n was very confused. This was a sudden confession.

Felix: “You probably didn’t notice this by now but I really really like you y/n. I regretted it everyday that I set you up with him.”

Y/n: why did you set us up if you liked me then?

Felix: Well he kept telling me how amazing you seemed and kept asking for me to set you up with him.

Y/n stood there quietly. Felix waiting for you to say something, he became nervous. Thinking will you have the same feelings as he did?

Y/n: To tell you the truth....

She took a deep breath before she continued.

Y/N: Before you set up me and XiaoJun....I--I

Felix: what is it?

She took another deep breath in as she release everything...

Y/N: I LIKED YOU!....well...I still do, but I don’t know if it’s love or friendship. But I know that I can’t live my life without you in it. When you started dating someone else and set up me and XiaoJun that’s when I knew you didn’t like me...then I had the time of my life with him. But when you broke up with your girlfriend and saw how you were not yourself, but you were still always there for me. I didn’t know what to think, if you still had fee--

Before she could finish his lips met hers.

Felix: I’ve always liked you from start to finish....I thought dating someone else would help me get over you once you were with XiaoJun. But I always found myself wanting to be back to help you or be around you. That’s why I broke up with her. I’d rather be around you even if you were with him than not being around you at all.

Y/N’s heart felt warm inside and forgot all the pain she felt just a few moments earlier. Felix could see a small smile forming on y/n’s face. He pulls her chin up for her to look at him as he smiled at her. He leans down to give her a kiss on the lips as she smiles and squeezes him tight. Felix lets out a little chuckle.

Y/N: What’s so funny?

Felix: I forgot how tiny you were, but for a tiny girl you’re pretty scary when you were yelling at him. I never seen you mad like that before. I better stay on your good side then.

Y/N playfully slaps his chest as he pulls her back in for a hug and kiss once again.

#nct #wayv #straykids #nct fluff #wayv fluff #straykids fluff #kpop fluff #xiaojun #xiaojun fluff #felix fluff #felix #nct xiaojun #wayv xiaojun

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naturaldisasterfanfiction · 4 years ago

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10. Part 2

Waking up hearing the sounds of the sea from outside my window, it was a different feeling to feel, it sounded so peaceful. I slept with my balcony doors open, I felt safe here and it was good to have that feeling. I didn’t have to lock my door, I didn’t have to close my balcony door because of noise from a party, I just feel free, is this what freedom feels like. I am in heaven; I have to be. Lifting myself up on the bed, resting my back against the headboard. I feel happy, we ate last night together at the table and I felt a little awkward of course, I am just the outsider but where they sat me was on the same side as Robyn and I couldn’t see her, and then I went bed early because I felt tired but I think it is because I feel so much at peace, I like this feeling. The sense of security here is giving me good vibes, I have not had this in so long, the last time I have felt such a way was at Robyn’ birthday party, I had so much fun too but I was not in a good place either so things went south after that. Looking towards the balcony doors smiling, the sun is shining through. Hearing giggles from outside, I wonder what time it is. I like that I know that is Robyn’ laugh, she is awake too. Reaching over to the side table, seeing the time. I actually slept in until ten, ok who is this man. Let me actually get out of bed, Robyn text me too. Ok I missed this; she might think I am rude just ignoring her too. Reading the message from Robyn ‘How come you commented on my post? Gn though’ she said good night to me, I missed it like an idiot but Robyn and I have not spoken like for real, it’s been many people around and I guess I feel very awkward about it all, it’s me. I feel like something will go wrong and that alone makes me close off.

I wore some cut off jeans and a tee, I mean I don’t want to be topless just yet. I am still on a bad side of Rorrey, it’s like he wants to kill me but then he knows he can’t either. This place is just full of beauty, you look outside every part and it’s just beauty after beauty. Placing a cigarette between my lips making my way to the outside, I want to see what Robyn is up too, I heard her outside laughing so I want to see, turning the corner but I stopped myself and moved back ��were you expecting the nigga to be here?” the guy sat next to him asked, I don’t know him but he has a bajan accent so that must be family “no, I didn’t think Robyn was that stupid. I am angry she got pregnant by him. The nigga is a big time crackhead, he takes those hard drugs and now my nephew or niece will part of him? She is stupid and in love, I don’t fuck with him like that. Also, we are having a baby shower in Barbados for my sister, he ain’t invited, she ain’t got no choice with that shit” hearing him say, raising an eyebrow “fuck that nigga, he ain’t welcome in Barbados, then just keep Robyn there. He hurt your sister, not once but twice. You as a brother got to protect that, she will see sense Rorrey, I know it” ain’t that some shit, not something I wanted to overhear but I did. Taking in a deep breath and just moving from my spot, I need to hold my head up high and keep going, Robyn is trusting me, so I need to just do her proud and fuck them. Rorrey looked at me as I started to walk “you not left yet?” he asked but I didn’t say anything, I got my cigarette between my lips anyways and he is beneath me.

Stepping outside and seeing Robyn with her friends and Dennis, my face softened and honestly, the shit I heard meant nothing to me now seeing Robyn in a bikini. The feeling went straight down to my dick, the cigarette near fell from my lips, I barely could light it, but I caught it. I slowly walked more out from under the cover, the sun shone down on my head as I stepped out “shut up! Oh my god, Mel. Please stop speaking, I need to record this!” Robyn shouted; Mel laughed moving away “shall we take two for Fenty Skin?” Dennis said, lighting my cigarette finally, my eyes never leaving Robyn as she just sat on the sun lounger, she is working while on vacation, is this a vacation. Not in Robyn’ eyes clearly “now I need to top my lipgloss up, making me talk out of line. Dennis let’s start again” blowing the smoke out from my lips, I smiled at the very time Robyn did, she is making me love her even more. I mean look at her stomach out, wow. A whole baby is in there, it’s my baby too. She looks so beautiful pregnant, she is always beautiful but now, it is even more. The way the sun shines down on Robyn, she is a true angel “ok, so once you are ready. So, proceed and Melissa, just lay there and shut up!” Dennis shouted, Mel laughed again “ok, I am done” Mel said but she better stop because Robyn is getting annoyed with her.

I have been here like a creep and watched Robyn do the whole ass video with Dennis, I have not looked away at all. This is not good; I am not supposed to be falling in love with Robyn all over again “I don’t think anyone trust your fucking videos anymore Robyn! After the pregnancy announcement” I near died at Robyn staring at me, oh she caught me “I am sick of your mouth, move bitch!” Robyn got up, I don’t know if to move or just stand here like a lamp. That made me laugh, why am I laughing. What is even happening to me, I think I have malfunctioned slightly. Robyn is walking to me, she has a lacey robe on, oh wow. Robyn is just, wow. Turning around “aht, aht! Where are you going?” turning back around “inside?” well she caught me and oh my god, her stomach is just the cutest thing, I really have feelings and I don’t like it. Bringing my eyes up to hers “but you were watching me all that time huh, I saw you a while ago. I don’t stop working, this backdrop is the best, I am releasing my new moisturiser, but anyways. I saw you watching” oh she peeped me a while ago “yeah, I was going to eat something” Robyn looked behind me “the chef will be making lunch, wait it out. Sit out here with us, or somewhere else?” nodding my head “sure, you can take the lead” I prefer she did and I follow, Robyn turned around and oh hey, she is wearing some lacey shit today, tilting my head “don’t look!” She spat; she knew I was.

I was expecting Robyn to sit with the rest but she didn’t “sit, come, come, come” she shuffled back on the sun lounger, sitting across from her “you not put anything on your face?” shaking my head “you know me, I just come out here. I just woke up, you know. I do have something in my bag but it’s just whatever” she is judging me “you need to look after your skin nigga, what the hell. You in your thirties like me. You got to do it” Robyn said shaking her head, she is not impressed “don’t judge me, damn. But I just saw your message now when I woke up, I fell asleep straight away pretty much” Robyn squinted her eyes smiling, she is so pretty “well least you fell asleep, I wasn’t waiting up for your text. Don’t worry” she winked at me “you just blinked at me forcefully” I laughed saying “oh shut up! You know damn well I can’t wink, asshole. I tried” we both laughed “blinked forcefully, be quiet, annoying ass. You are just as bad as Melissa” watching Robyn laugh, she is vibrant and I just want to kiss her, no I don’t actually because that would make things awkward “how come you commented anyways?” staring at her lips “uh” I breathed out looking away “well I am just looking like a nigga that is bitter and angry, just reading shit saying I am crying about it which I am not but I mean I was but I am not now. I just wanted to shut them up, so I wrote it. Now I look obsessed so I can’t win” I finally looked at Robyn “I see, I don’t mind it that you have said something, but you got to realise that you will never win, neither will I. I look like I have made my child fatherless and I am selfish for it, so I can’t win either way. I look bad. So, the only thing you can do is ignore them because you are better then that, I just don’t comment anymore. Just one or two times to the people I want too but you shouldn’t let that bug you, even if it wasn’t yours because things like that can get you down” she is right “I don’t know what I would be like, I was already depressed when I found out, I love you. So, it was different” Robyn and I always look away from each other when we speak on love “sorry for making the conversation awkward” I added, Robyn smiled shaking her head “no you didn’t, stop it. Just don’t let it get to you mentally, it’s a lot of shit that will come about and I want you to come out of this better than ever” rubbing my hands together, I am just an idiot and I hate it.

Feeling Robyn pick at something on my white tee “huh” looking at her hand “it’s a ladybug, look at that. Attracting the bitches again” looking at Robyn’ hand “why ain’t you screaming like always” the ladybug flew off “because the bitch is cute, so. How is Christopher, you not taking anything are you? I can tell you’re not because this is you” shaking my head “I am ok, I feel good about things. I haven’t felt like this in a while, that is because of you” Robyn licked her lips looking at me, she looks concerned “but I want you to do this for you?” she questioned “I am but I needed someone real, someone that cares. Your whole vibe is helping me, I don’t really fuck with drugs, but it killed time and my mind, and I think I have probably made a mess of myself. But right now, I am good. I sleep so that is good” I laughed to myself “sleep is a good factor you need, and I am glad, you know I am here if you need to talk to me about anything. Can be your love life too” I laughed shaking my head “don’t play like that, I don’t have love or a life. Come on now shawty” Robyn and I just laughed at each other “you need to look after your skin too, I can lend you some of my Fenty skin” smirking at her “I need teaching too oh leader of the many” she hit my arm “shut up now but I can teach you, I am going have you look like a new man. Sleep and good skin, chile. That is what we need, but first. You need to protect your skin from the sun, come with me” Robyn got up from the sun lounger and her bump near knocked me out “jeez!” I moved back “am I that big!” Robyn spat “no, just we were sat close” getting up also.

Drying my face off with the towel, Robyn was dead ass about this, and I wasn’t and now I am stuck doing this with her, she is being legit too, just here watching me “we going to look like some fly ass parents with some fly ass skin nigga, we need your skin on fleek too. I can’t have you letting me down, and the hell!? Pat your face down, why are you fighting with the towel, this reminds me of when you used just act like you washed your face and you didn’t. You are so stank for that, we was in New York and we went out and then you admitted you didn’t, now that nasty shit is catching up on you” I grinned like a goof “but you kissed my cheek still” I smirked “I regretted it after, so next time be nice to your face. So next, now we got your face looking all good! We going to tone this” Robyn gripped my chin and shook my head as she laughed “we going to tone it, and I will watch you. All this free Fenty Skin, I should charge you” she passed me the bottle “and then hydrate with SPF and protect that face” looking down at the bottle “you saying that face, acting like I don’t have a cute face?” Robyn shook her head “be quiet and get on with it now, I am watching you. I want to see you doing this from your face to your neck, here” Robyn touched my neck “all here, massage it in too” she keeps touching me and being so close we going to kiss next “Robyn! You’re needed downstairs!” Rorrey shouted from the door that is open, scared us both as we just looked “the fuck, ok nigga now leave me alone” he looks way too angry.

Wiping my hands on the towel “so, did I do good?” I asked, I mean I tried “come here” Robyn waved me over “is it not good enough for you? Judgemental ass, sat there with your lacey robe and shit” Robyn rolled her eyes getting up “lift your head up, come up” I can’t stop smiling, Robyn makes me laugh “we need to massage it into your neck like this” I like this, I like that Robyn is massaging my neck, can she continue this “mhmm” she then slapped my neck which ruined it “next time do it better, but your skin looks better. You can keep my shit too. I have some more, ok?” nodding my head “but those are not full products?” Robyn side eyed me as she walked off “should be glad you get that, ugly” why is she doing this to me, I am actually crazy for her and this is making it worse “oh god” laughing to myself, this is bad. Walking into the bathroom with the towel in hand. Looking in the mirror, nodding my head seeing the hype on skin care. I mean I do have my skin care thing when I can be bothered to care for this, but here I am looking good as hell. Touching the side of my face, I like this, and I fuck with it.

I am hungry as fuck, I thought I would go down after having a talk with Hoody. He is missing me I think anyways “hello Robyn boyfriend!” Majesty shouted so loud “Noella you better get your child before I do, who taught her this” Robyn said, “auntie not playing now, stop this!” Majesty jumped down off the chair and ran towards “where have you been? We are supposed to have singing lessons” why do these girls like me picking them up “I could ask the same thing about you” picking her up “you went missing on me, but we can eat now” putting her down as I got to the table “sit next to me! Come on” Majesty grabbed my hand “I am so sorry Chris; she is just doing the most. I think she really likes you” pulling the chair out, I think I can thank Majesty because I am sat across from Robyn now “what you all think to Chris and his skin? I have been teaching him how to moisturise his face” all eyes are on me including her lovely brother “yeah” shuffling my chair in “it looks nice, brings out your cheekbones, like I would literally die for those cheekbones” Ja said which made me laugh “you can also get those from drugs, try that Jahleel” the table became awfully quiet “you can also get it from the lack of food you get when your sister is not paying for your shit too, just something I heard” well isn’t this just nice, hearing my phone go off. This is a facetime so I know who this is, it’s Royalty and I can’t ignore it. Looking at my phone, it is her. Getting up from the chair, I got to answer it, or she will bombard me with messages and send out a search party. Walking outside, answering the facetime “one minute” I said while walking away further from them “I got a new booboo dad!” Royalty shouted, holding the phone up “oh for real, how did you do that now? Don’t tell you been play fighting with Sinatra again” sitting down “ballerina classes, I fell on my leg. Look” she showed me her leg that has a pack of ice on it “mom says I have to rest so now I am, but I am ok. I just wanted to see how you are? Are you having fun?” nodding my head “yeah I am ok, even happier seeing your beautiful face, you made me smile” Royalty scoffed “don’t have to lie to me but I just wanted you to see that, it really hurts” my clumsy daughter “you not broke it?” she might of “no, we got it checked out. I can’t wait to see you, are you really gone now?” frowning “uh yes why?” she knows I have “just that uncle invited mom to a party at your house, mom doesn’t know I heard but she said no but then why can’t I go? And then mom complained that your house is not safe for me” Royalty shrugged “I don’t know” a party, when the hell was there a party “when was this?” I asked “uhm it was last night” that is some bullshit.

Hood and I have been going back and forth over text when I told him to leave my home, he’s just causing shit. My daughter is nosey, and I like she told me but why the fuck would you invite Nia, that is dumb, he is moving dumb too. I am also highly annoyed that Rorrey said that, so I am just annoyed when I been had a good time “so what are you hoping it will be?” Tina asked, looking up from my phone and at Robyn before it gets all awkward I am just going to go “I will be upstairs” I got up from the chair “but you literally haven’t ate?” Noella said “it’s fine” my phone started ringing in my hand, I will literally fuck Hood up. Answering the call as I walked off “I didn’t think it would be an issue, a party? That always happens” he said “I am not there, I said that I am not there so why do it. It’s wild that you do it when I told you to go home” what don’t niggas understand “you are acting real different Chris, whatever the fuck you are doing. I don’t fuck with new niggas” why can’t he just let me be “to clear my mind is me being brand new, whatever. I said what I said now just leave my home, then when I come back then things will go back to normal” jogging up the stairs, I don’t want to say anything else but that.

I have remained in the room, I can hear them setting up or whatever, but I just stayed out of the way watching Alien shows on YouTube, didn’t realise its been about two hours that has gone by. I just find inappropriate of him, it makes things awkward and I don’t like that at all, then this morning, all that shit about the baby shower, he holding onto what I did after all these years “can I come in?” a knock at the door “uh yeah” Robyn knocking on doors now “you never know, so I knocked anyways. Hiding up here now? Also, we can’t go down anyways until they have finished setting up or whatever for the reveal but I bought you a shirt to wear, I am wearing a warm pink dress, and you are wearing this white shirt” I didn’t expect to be dressed too, she placed it on the bed “thank you” I didn’t expect it “also Rorrey has one more chance to say anything, I appreciate that you are being quiet but I do want you to eat also, I said I would support you in this and I will do what I can for you. I don’t want you to feel that way, you never said what sex you hope the baby to be?” Robyn sat down on the chair in the corner, shuffling up on the bed “I don’t mind it, if it makes you happy then I am also happy. I don’t think people understand how much this feels like my first child but it’s like awkward, like I shouldn’t have an opinion with having two already. What did I say to you, they called me obsessed with you for saying something nice” I had time on my hands of course I looked “maybe you need to step back from social media while you try to better yourself Chris, people like my brother are one person out of the many in the room that like you. You are fuelling that on him, don’t let him ruin this nice time for us, but he has that last chance with you ok?” nodding my head “we have to wait here now, and I also need to get my dress on but we have time to kill, so we can just talk” Robyn really wants to hear me talk shit.

#Chrianna Fanfiction #Chrianna FF #Chrianna #Fanfic #Fanfiction

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fanfictrashdump · 4 years ago

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Universe in a Jar, 3 - Phase 4 fic

Recap: Some days ago, I reblogged this post about the magical trio. And then my brain went off on a monumental tangent and, I wrote Universe in a Jar.

Characters: Stephen Strange, Loki, Wanda Maximoff, Wong, OC

Rating: T?

Warnings: Language! Nightmares, sass, terrible storytelling, and typos prob.

Summary: Baby-sitting beings arguably more powerful than him goes awry for Doctor Strange. He knows one person who can possibly keep them isolated and out of trouble. Well, he knew someone who could… he hasn’t seen them in decades and for stupid reasons.

Previous Chapter

~*~

While tensions had eased in the household, Stephen maintained a respectable distance from Seph, if only to ensure his continued breathing. During the day, he took to reading in familiar spots, comfortably nestled amongst memories or doing chores that felt comforting in their nostalgia. During the night he tossed and turned in a bed he had once known as well as his own, hoping against all hope that his brain could shut up and allow him to rest, if only for a few hours.

The Hale house had six bedrooms, bigger than his own home with four, despite only ever having two occupants. Wanda and Loki had chosen two rooms at the end of the hallway that overlooked part of the farmland surrounding the houses. Persephone had taken over the grand bedroom on the other side of the hallway. Stephen had debated taking one of the guest rooms on the lower floor, but one step into each of them had his skin crawling in an uncomfortable manner. He wasn't meant for those rooms.

You're family, Stephen. Stop ringing the doorbell, Demeter Hale had once announced, exasperated, one chilly winter morning. And she was right. Stephen practically lived there. Hale manor was quieter than his own home and had a plethora of books on odd topics he had never even heard of–it was a wonderland.

Family, as it were, slept on the top floor. The room Wanda currently occupied was where he would typically drop his clothes in when he stayed over. Though, if he were honest, there was seldom a time he slept over that he made it back into the room for the night. It was a bad habit that spread to high school and beyond, ignoring the propriety of what their parents would explain was not OK for friends to do. But Stephen and Persephone had never been interested in each other that way. Well, at least that they would admit. So, he always stayed in her room.

Tonight was no exception.

Wanda turned in first, as usual, taking solace in the quiet and solitude to mourn her family in silence… or figure out how to get them back. Stephen wasn't exactly sure which one she was on, at the moment. Later, he watched an all-too-flirty Loki amble to his quarters, not before getting a long, drawn-out hug from Persephone (likely more, when he wasn't watching… which he wasn't). Then, she would offer him a shy wave before hiding in the grand bedroom.

After a while, he stopped contemplating the closed door and turned into the bedroom across the hall. It looked… exactly the same way it had when he last stepped foot in it–posters, pictures, school banners, strings of lights littering the canopy. Across the desk chair, an old hoodie, that he could clearly tell used to be his, was discarded. He had raised it to his nose when he first entered the bedroom. It still smelled of him, but there was the faint scent of her perfume permeating the fabric. If he were a sentimental man…

He fell into 'his' side of the bed with a groan. As a way to ease his mind, he had spent some time in the garden, picking tomatoes and berries and tilling a bit of stubborn dirt at the far west corner. His back now burned in protest, but it was a welcome distraction from the monotony. Wong had told him in no uncertain terms that Wanda and Loki needed to settle before they dealt with issues with the Multiverse. It would be a moot point to correct some magic when their owner was simply going to re-do the whole mess the second they could. In all fairness, this was mostly an issue with Wanda. Loki, despite being a stubborn mule and refusing to explain his reasoning, had not done too much damage. It would likely be a while before he slept in his own bed again.

Stephen blinked into the darkness, turning on his side and attempting to sleep in that position. Ten minutes, then thirty, an hour later–no sleep. Amid the cricket chirps and frog songs, a small noise broke the trance-like state of his insomnia. It was ridiculous how quickly he recognized it, and even more pathetic how naturally it brought him to a sit. He glanced at his door, deciding if he was really going to cross the hallway this time. He chickened out the first three times he had heard it, but there was something desperate about the sound tonight. It was bound to be a bad one.

"You've died a thousand times in the hands of the Dormammu. You can go check on Seph, you loser," he berated himself, pushing the bedsheets off and wrenching the door open.

He tiptoed across the hall and gently opened the door. Whatever it was he was expecting to see, it certainly was not this. Persephone was tangled in her sheets, her pajamas of plaid shorts and another old sweatshirt of his rumpled across her body. With every pained, nightmarish pant, a universe exploded around her, encompassing her in iridescent light before fading away. It was like she was locking herself in the same box she had trapped him, killing herself every other breath. Reflected in the glass was every ghost and ghoul that haunted her dreams, sadistic grins flashing down at her weary body.

So this was why she was so exhausted.

Carefully, he clambered to her side, grateful to find that he could easily reach past her barriers. His fingers gripped her shoulder and shook her gently. "Come on. Wake up, Seph." She whimpered again and the glass changed in color. Reflected on its surface was his own face, years younger, nary a single grey on his head. He looked terrifying, even to his own eyes; cold, detached. Stephen shook her more firmly; the barriers flickered.

"Stephen–" Her voice trembled and her whole body quivered. "Please."

His other hand pried hers from the bedsheets and twined them together. "Peep, I'm here." He found himself hunching, speaking the words in a decisive tone in her ear. "It's just a dream, Persephone."

Another shudder ran through her before her hand tightened around his. It took a moment longer before she was able to blink awake, though her eyes were wild and disoriented in the darkness.

His other hand pressed into her back in an effort to soothe her when she shot up with a gasp. "I have you, Peep. You're OK." A second, two, twenty–and she broke into a heart wrenching sob.

Stephen wasn't any good with tears, a fact he gently reminded her of, mid-sob.

Her eyes, still spilling tears, bore into his in disbelief.

"You're absolutely right. I'll shut up now," he hastened to add, awkwardly patting her shoulder.

Seph wiped roughly at her eyes. "Just go, Stephen. I'll see you in the morning." She wrapped herself tight, knees braced against her chest and her line of sight lost elsewhere.

"Peep, don't be like that."

Her brows pulled together and her mouth set into a grim line. "Don't call me that, Steve."

A ghost of a smirk tilted his lips at the annoyance radiating off her. "Why not?"

"I'm not a child."

"I know you're not. You're a grown-up doctor. Well, a psychiatrist, at least." He smiled and nudged her side with his elbow to get a rise out of her.

She didn't take the bait. The ball she had molded herself into tightened.

"I don't practice, anymore."

Stephen's head snapped towards her, instantly. "What?"

"I quit."

He sputtered. "What? Why? And, when? I got your information from the hospital–"

With a groan, she clenched her eyes tightly closed, trying to block out the world as if she wasn't just trapped in a murder box of her own (unconscious) design. "Jesus Christ, you talk a lot. The Blip. I quit after the Blip."

"But, the kids you treat–"

"On a personal capacity," she cut in, hoping the conversation stopped there. Of course, she had known Stephen for far too long to expect that.

"You love your job, Seph. I've seen you pass up box tickets to the damn Philharmonic for a counseling session."

A half shrug left her. "I was alone and I wanted to feel it. So I made this whole mess." Seph gestured at their surroundings with a vague wag of her finger.

"I don't understand."

"I know you don't. Work has always been enough for you. It wasn't the same for me."

He sighed. "Maybe then, but now–"

"It's still the same. You're doing farm chores you never even did when you lived here because you need things to do. You try to shake Loki down every other hour for information on whatever the hell he was doing that prompted you to grab him. Wanda's sick of you. You can't just ever settle down!" There was a sharp edge to her voice that was not lost on him.

Stephen blinked, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, how did this become about me?"

Seph growled under her breath, releasing her limbs and narrowly stopping herself from smacking the living daylights out of him. "Because it is about you and your fucking inability to relate to anyone about anything! Not everything is logical! Wanda lost her family! Loki got bounced around fucking realities! And you're annoyed that you can't get back to the Sanctum until you figure the Wonder Twins out."

"I have other responsibilities–"

"Which Wong is taking care of."

"Wong might think… wait, how do you know Wong?" His head tilted like a distracted dog.

"You might have not reached out to me, but others did. He wanted to know who you were; you had just started training. I told him you were an asshole and that I never wanted to see or hear from you ever again. We exchanged numbers."

He sat in silence for a long while before glancing back up at her. "Why didn't you come to Kamar-Taj?"

"I wasn't invited."

"And the Sanctum?"

"I. Wasn't. Invited."

He chewed at the inside of his cheek, ignoring the weight of her gaze on him. "Come back to the Sanctum with me."

"Nope. I'm fine where I am."

"You're on a farm in rural Nebraska in a town where you are the extent of the diversity."

Persephone sighed, reaching up to brush the overgrown stubble on Stephen's cheeks. "But it's home."

"You're alone, though."

"And you're lonely in a city of five million people."

He pretended to ignore the sting of the comment, opting for some sweet-talking, instead. "You'd like it, though. So many books."

"That is a new bar of low. Don't bribe me, Steve." She scoffed unconvincingly, he caught the slip.

"Like, a loooot of books. In all different languages. Would probably keep you occupied several years."

He knew her too well. She hated it.

"I'll think about it." He smiled a little too brightly. "Just think. No promises." More silence came to keep them company.

He hesitated before wincing. "Does this happen every night? The suffocating and exploding?" She nodded. "You should definitely come. We can figure something out, Wong, you, and me." Another nod. He straightened the fabric of her headwrap and tucked a runaway curl underneath with an easy smile. It was an excuse for contact, he knew, but he couldn't bring himself to care and she didn't seem to mind. He retrieved his hand with a sigh. "You're tired. You should get some sleep." He braced on his arms to shuffle out. A hand wrapped around his wrist and held him there.

"Don't go. Please."

Stephen smiled and nodded after a moment. He gestured with his head. "Scoot over, Peep."

"Steve."

"Quiet. You'll get us caught," he whispered, and they both giggled like it was the millionth time those words were said. It probably was. They curled up under the covers and drifted off.

~*~

Stephen was now beyond curious about Persephone's magic.

As the early morning broke over the horizon, he found himself up and about the house, doing little chores that felt like muscle memory. When the coffee was brewed, he took a mug and sat on the stairs to sip, watching as last night's roommate woke and barely acknowledged him as she drifted down the steps, pausing only to ruffle his already messy hair. She stopped at the entry hallway, jumping slightly backward at the floating cloak hovering in place. The words had stuck in her throat, and Stephen watched between the banister poles with a smile on his face.

"Ste–shitshitshit." She inched backward as the garment glided over and stopped in front of her. The cloak lifted a bottom corner to gently glide over her left hand, rubbing itself against her skin before settling around her shoulders in a warm embrace. It urged her forward and to a side table that held some keys and a vase of flowers. Beside the vase, a double-fingered ring sat innocuously. The cloak gestured in its direction and then back at her.

The Sorcerer leaned forward to see what she'd do. With shaking fingers, she picked up the ring and turned it in her hands. The cloak, impatient as ever, grabbed the ring and slipped it over her fingers. All at once, the barriers containing the house inside of the apartment glimmered and symbols etched themselves in brilliant orange light across them. Stephen could barely understand half of them, but the ones he could seemed like they were building blueprints and math that would make the inexplicably large fit into the inexplicably small. It was like staring at the source code on a computer and breaking down the software into its components. He broke out of his reverie by the fourth Stephen being called. He jumped down the remainder of the steps and turned the corner.

Persephone was staring, half fascinated, half horrified at the markings, and was drawing the cloak tight around her shoulders–the cloak was loving it. He stopped beside her and she reached out for his wrist, clasping it as tightly as she did the night before. "Ho–how does it know my magic?"

"You can read this?"

"Yeah, it's in plain… you can't?" Stephen shook his head. "How's it doing this?"

"Not 'it'. You. This is you. The ring's just a conduit. The cloak's just a nuisance." There was a whisper of a huff from the fabric and Seph pulled it tighter, smoothing her hands down the red contours. A rustle like a shiver followed. "Don't get comfortable. This isn't permanent."

"I wasn't assuming…"

"I was telling them." He glared at the cloak. "She's not your new pet. Settle down." His eyes lifted to hers. "They get familiar. Sorry."

"It's OK. They're sweet. After you get over the fact that it's a garment with a mind of its own."

"Are we under attack?" Wanda startled the both of them. They turned to see the witch still in her pajamas, hair mussed up and hands glowing. "Why are we warding?"

"Not warding. Seph put on my sling ring and this happened. It's her magic."

"Oh. She has Chaos magic wards in her repertoire." Wanda pointed at several spots and they lit up red with her magic before fading back to orange.

"I don't know what that means," Seph spoke up meekly, barely breaking through the intense debate the other two were now having, trying to identify the remainder of runes.

Stephen traced a rune with his finger. "Anything dangerous?"

"No. Just protection runes. Over and over and over. Every type under the Chaotic sun. Loki might know about the others, though."

"I still don't know what that means."

"It means you are all sorts of impressive, Peep. I'll pop in on Wong and grab a few books." He offered his open palm for the ring, which she happily gave. However, when the ring came off, the symbols didn't fade. Instead, they crackled like embers and seared themselves into the invisible veil surrounding the space. Stephen frowned. "Maybe I'll take you with me." He turned to Wanda. "Can you and Prince Emo behave while we're gone or do I have to drag you along, too?"

Persephone elbowed him in the ribs. "Stephen–"

"Right. Relating." He drew a breath and his shoulders slumped. He tried again. "Could you and Loki stay put while Seph and I go to the Sanctum? I need to show Wong. It's important."

Wanda and Seph exchanged a lengthy conversation in facial expressions alone before the witch smiled. "We'll be fine. I was just going to sit and read on the porch. Loki won't be awake for a couple of hours."

"OK. Good. Thanks." He stood silently ruminating in his head before abruptly snapping out of it and shaking the cobwebs from his mind. "You ready to go?"

"I'm in my pj's, Steve." He blinked blankly at her and she rolled her eyes with a sigh. "Sure. Can I put on shoes, at least?"

He was already opening a portal by the time she finished asking her question. "No need." With little hesitation, he reached for her hand and stepped through the portal with her in tow.

Persephone barely managed to contain the gasp of wonder at the surroundings. Books, artifacts, paintings–it looked like a museum and it was all functional and there for the students. Stephen had been in a hurry a second before, but just watching her undistilled awe made him pause. His thumb brushed the back of the hand he had twined with his; a familiar gesture that barely pulled her attention. Her free hand reached for a tome lodged between jars of off-looking coins. It rippled in a kaleidoscope of colors upon contact.

"Miss Hale?"

Seph glanced over her shoulder to smile at Wong. His brows were pulled together as if he was trying to work out a particularly hard problem in his head. The problem, most likely, was, how are you not murdering him right now? You seemed pretty adamant about it when I last talked to you.

"Master Wong. How are you?"

Wong smiled kindly. "I'm doing well, Persephone." He seemed to sense the withering heat of Stephen's gaze and reluctantly turned to face the Sorcerer Supreme. "I didn't tell you because I doubted you wanted to hear how she hated your guts. In excruciating detail. And after what you did to her, you forfeited the right to know a thing about her. So save me the glaring."

Stephen pointed at himself. "Sorcerer Supreme."

"And an asshole. They're not mutually exclusive." He glanced at Seph. "You didn't even let her get out of her pajamas."

"She has the cloak!"

"Were you raised by wolves or what?"

"Doesn't matter right now. I have to show you something," Stephen declared in exasperation, tugging the sling ring off and handing it off to Seph.

She held the metal tentatively between her fingers before the weight of expecting stares forced her to slip it on. The magic rippled slower than it had in her house as if it were more hesitant to show itself, but soon there wasn't an inch of wall, bookshelf, or display case that wasn't burning bright orange and twinkling in the dimly lit Sanctum.

"How did you teach her that?" Wong had his eyebrows gathered up high, taking in every marking around him with awe.

"I didn't. I thought it only showed her magic but… it's everyones. It's like she can open them up, like a book. Peep, can you read these, too?" Her eyes danced over several objects before lighting on a sword mounted on the wall.

She pointed at it with a grin. "That one was supposed to be a joke but the spell actually worked." Seph tilted her head as she continued searching. "Actually, a lot of them were jokes that actually work. What are you supposed to do with enchanted dice?"

Wong opened his mouth to comment, but Stephen held a finger up to buy himself some extra time. He opened his palm and Seph dropped the sling ring in it. The symbols still didn't fade.

Wong looked, surprisingly, unimpressed.

"Can I talk now?" Seph giggled under her breath and Stephen gestured him along. "She's a psychiatrist. Why are you surprised she can access the root of magics? She probably became one because she could read things so well, naturally."

"Without training?"

For a second Wong looked like he was deciding whether or not Stephen was stupid. "Hence, why I said naturally."

"And the portals?"

"If you understand how the fabric of the Universe works, you can weave it to your will. We do that all the time. You're just astounded that she can do it naturally because it took you forever to understand. Is this really why you dragged her out of her home in pj's?"

"The symbols don't fade without the sling ring."

At this point, Wong was convinced Strange was stupid. "She's never needed the ring. The ring is a conduit, she can do magic on her own. If you distract her a–BOO!"

Persephone shrieked, jumping back as Wong jumped towards her. Sure enough, the symbols fizzled into the ether, though two, in a rainbow of colors, glimmered on the floor before her and an ominous ripple of red fabric fluttered around her.

"I see the Cloak of Levitation has found a new friend. They're even protecting her."

"They like most people more than me."

Seph rolled her eyes. "Why does that not surprise me?" She absently stroked over the fabric covering her arms.

Stephen ignored the jab. "What books would you recommend she start with to learn how to control her abilities?"

Wong was quiet for a long while. "There's a few about the magics of quantum mechanics, but if she's been able to do this her whole life, I doubt she needs them. Why would she need training? Barring an incident–" The two friends glanced shortly at each other out of the corner of the other's eye. "You two had an incident. What did he do?"

Rustling her curls, she scuffed her toe on the concrete floor, eyes downcast. "He was being dumb. I tried to kill him. Well, I blacked out and the power took over. Loki had to break him out of a killing jar."

"Quantum magics, then… and maybe some yoga." He gestured at her with his head. "Come on. I'll show you the library."

Her eyes widened with almost innocent excitement. "This isn't the library?"

With a doe-eyed stare, she followed Wong; Stephen close behind, pretending not to grin. The second Wong opened the doors, Persephone let out a long, disbelieving gasp. She trembled as she walked and the cloak had taken to wrapping itself tightly around her to keep her calm.

Wong smirked. It wasn't often that he received anyone who was this honestly happy to see a room full of books and not think about the bothers of having homework. He began to pull tomes from the shelves, stacking and weighing his options between similar texts. When his pile was nine books deep, he settled them on a table. "This should get you started. When you're done, you can come back and I'll lend you some more. On any topic you like."

"I never got to choose which books I read," Strange defended.

"Because you were annoying and she's not." Seph snickered in her spot, fingers toying with the spines of the stack. "Truly, come back when you're ready, and you're not actively trying to kill the Sorcerer Supreme."

"Tell him not to annoy me and I won't," she defended, though she smiled. "Thank you, Wong." She eagerly hefted the pile and gestured at Stephen. "Hurry up. I have things to read."

"Why don't you just make a portal?"

"Because it's rude to make them in other people's homes without permission," she started pointedly, "and I'm carrying books. Now, please." She smiled brightly at Wong and nodded. Stephen rolled his eyes petulantly. "See you soon, Master Wong." She stepped in the direction where Stephen had made a portal opening straight into her kitchen.

"See you soon, Persephone."

#marvel #mcu phase 4 #stephen strange #doctor strange #wanda maximoff #loki mcu #Master Wong MCU #NY Sanctum #multiverse #original character #physics in action #universe in a jar

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thatlonelygirl630 · 5 years ago

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Hello! I know in your bio it says your a little hesitant to post any of your fanfics but i was wondering if you would do any Kara x reader prompts? Maybe something short and sweet to get you started like Alex giving a speech at reader and Kara’s wedding? Its completely ok to ignore this but I’d hate to see potential go to waste, cheers.

A/N: Hey Anon! I really appreciate your thoughtfulness to try and get me to post some of my writing. I'm not going to lie I have been thinking about posting a lot recently and I'm considering you my sign from above to actually do it. I really do like the character x reader concept when writing and I guess I can take prompts but make no promises. Since I am a female I hope it's ok I wrote this as a Femreader.

Prompt: Alex gives a speech at Kara and Reader’s wedding.

No Need For a Getaway Driver

You and Kara met for better or for worse in the middle of a rainstorm. You were out running to the store to get some things that would hopefully fix the leak in your ceiling after the maintenance guy finally gave up. You really needed to get it fixed because according to the weatherman the storm was going to last for a few days.

The fastest way to the hardware store was to cut through Central Park. Which of course was nearly empty due to the storm but on your way back you noticed a lone figure walking along one of the trails. You had no idea that sharing your umbrella with a stranger that day would result in you finding the love of your life.

You and Kara started as friends and it quickly blurred into something a bit more. It took you both months to define it but after weeks of dates and check kisses you finally got fed up and started the talk.

That talk prompted 4 more years of dating.

Yep, 4 long years of ups in the form of holidays spent with families or buying a house together but of course, there were many downs such as Kara nearly dying 3 times, always coming home beaten bloody or the occasional lovers' quarrel. You had slept in different rooms or slept in different locations but always managed to find your way back to one another.

On your 5th anniversary, Kara found the ring you had stashed not so secretly in your bedside drawer and immediately sped to hers and knelt down stating she wanted to beat you to it.

You both wanted to get married as quickly as possible and had everything planned out and the whole thing would be in Eliza’s backyard on the beach with only alien secret privy family and friends in attendance. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen. It seemed the yearly crisis picked that stupid day to rain hell upon the multiverse and with a sorry smile Supergirl left to God knows where.

Like every other down in your relationship, they don’t last long and only two weeks later you were married and currently being humiliated at the wedding reception by Kelly who just had to bring up the time you drunk flirted with Kara and had video proof.

“Ok maid of honor #1’s turn.” Alex scooted her partner out of the way before handing over her beer “Alright.” She sighed dramatically cracking her neck and stretching her arms “My baby sister got married” she whistled “ya know I had agonized over this speech since high school, I mean I always knew I’d have to give this one day.” she joked earning a chuckle from the modest crowd “I could have never imagined how proud I would be of Kara so the minute I heard about the engagement I told literally everyone.” The whole room erupts in laughter “no really” she states and the laughter increases like this is a stand-up comedy act “I told the Chinese place two blocks over, I told the cashier at the store, a random jogger...” she trails off as the laughter dies down.

“But it was this one guy at the bar who really helped me write this speech.” she admitted, “He asked ‘If you need someone to wait outside as a getaway driver I could use the extra cash.’” She mimicked “and of course I said no but it got me thinking” she looks around “why was I so quick to say no? Why was I so certain this would work out? When was the moment I knew?”

Alex looks around “I think I’ve managed to pinpoint exactly when I knew Y/N was Kara’s forever.” She cleared her throat “Many of you already know this but in the beginning, Supergirl was attacked by something called a black mercy.” Many heads in the crowd nodded along “Now a black mercy puts you in your perfect reality, but what many of you don’t know is what she saw.” Alex stated “Kara’s perfect reality was Krypton, with her family and her planet all happy and intact. She never had to leave, never had to interrupt our lives or anything.”

“It was hard to pull her away from that, for both of us.” Alex pauses “Just 2 years ago Supergirl came in contact with another one, and so I prepared myself to do it all again, to tell her that it's all a dream, and she needs to come back because people here need her,” She looks around “but when I went in there, she wasn’t on Krypton anymore no, she was here, on Earth.”

“I walked into a cozy house with the stupidly perfect white picket fence and those two idiots cuddled up sleeping on a couch” She pointed to both you and Kara “there was a monstrously fluffy dog laying in the middle of the room and I won’t say which one but one of them had a stomach the size of a watermelon.”

Your sure both yours and Kara’s faces when the color of the inside of a watermelon “It was easier to pull Kara out because that was all still possible out here.” She smiles “The deepest darkest desires inside of Kara would rather a life with Y/N then a life on krypton.” She states “That is the moment I truly knew she was the one for my sister.”

#supergirl #kara danvers x reader #supergirl x reader #alex danvers #my fic #kara danvers #kara danvers x fem!reader

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welcometocaritas · 5 years ago

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‘if you love me, don’t let go...’

First chapter of my yumagna fic is out ladies and gentlebabies!

Chapter: 1/6

Characters: Yumiko & Magna

Pairing: Yumagna

Fandom: The Walking Dead

Format: Multi-Chap

Summary: At some point, you just have to let go - or so Yumiko keeps telling herself.There was never any letting go of Magna.

Links: A03, FF.NET

[watermark is from my instagram yumagnas.home don’t worry i didn’t steal the pic ;)]

A/N:

[The rape/non-con is there for Magna's cousin and it will only ever be in references I will not be writing anything detailed about it because I don't want to trigger anyone and this isn't the story for writing about something like that as I would not be able to give it the time and attention it deserves]

Small note: Magna's cousin is called Maisie in this and I've also given her a brother called Morgan.

y'all are going to hate me because yes, this is going to be over 20000 words about a single night. And probably not even the whole night. but there's also flashbacks so it's OK? In my defense, we've gotten very few conversations with these two so there was a lot to talk about. I can't be held responsible for my actions. blame the writers.

I’m honestly a little worried that I’m going to bore people to tears because there’s really no plot. It’s just yumagna being soft and finally sorting out their shit.

I'm also working on a short oneshot - for real this time it's actually going to be short - that's set in the indeterminate future after this. It's basically just going to be pure fluff which you should knew is unheard of - I never write fluff. So hopefully it's not terrible.

There be angst here, lots of angst, but also comfort - if you’re familiar with my writing that won’t be a surprise to you.

I don’t have much hope for canon so I decided to do what I could to fix the mess they made.

I normally wouldn’t reveal anything that’s going to happen in a fic but y’all have been tortured enough already so just know I will absolutely be getting these girls back together, it won’t take more than a night, but it will take about 20000 words. Most of the story is written out already I’m just doing post-edits so I’ll update daily :)

If things seem a little disjointed it’s because I wrote everything out of order and it’s been a bit of a struggle to get everything to fit into place. I also haven’t slept more than 1-4 hours a night for the past three weeks, have been getting constant migraines and blood sugar crashes so I’m gonna apologize right now if there are any mistakes. I’m super sorry.

This is for the yumagna fandom cos I wanted y'all to have something nice with everything that's going on. I would also like to give a special thanks to Abbey and Mina who acted as my sounding board throughout this whole thing and were very patient with me - love you guys :)

....

"If you love me, don't let go

Hold

Hold on

Hold on to me

'Cause I'm a little unsteady

A little unsteady . . . "

- Unsteady by X Ambassadors

. . .

Nightmares had always been an issue, though less so in recent years. Magna had gotten almost gotten used to having a full night's sleep, barring the occasional pillow snatch. Back before all this started, she'd been on medication for PTSD, but well, it was kind of hard to fill a prescription in the middle of the apocalypse - and, well, the apocalypse had only added to the previous need for said medication. At least she was in good company. These days, it was more of a surprise if someone wasn't experiencing some form of post-traumatic stress, and that was a somewhat odd reality to wake up in, day after day. For years, this thing had set her apart but now? Now it just made her like everyone else.

Miko had nightmares too.

It was what had led to them sharing a 'bed' in the first place, way before things between them moved beyond the confines of friendship. They'd fallen asleep by the fire one particularly cold night, curled around each other for warmth, and they hadn't awoken until morning.

It had been something of a revelation.

On Magna's end, she suspected it had had a lot to do with trust. She'd trusted Miko not to shove a shiv into her side or try to cop a feel whilst she slept, trusted her even more to have her back if things went south during the night. She'd been . . . safe. Magna wasn't used to people being safe - she wasn't quite sure what she offered Miko in return, though; maybe the same thing.

Of course, in many ways Yumiko wasn't safe. There was nothing safe about the way Magna felt about her. Or the way those feelings seemed to be returned. She knew Miko had had a girlfriend in college who cheated - and when the other woman had told her that, a vindictive part of her had hoped the bitch had been one of the many, many people to meet their end by sicko teeth. Miko had smacked her on the arm for that comment, exasperation tempered by fondness and reluctant amusement.

She'd realized in her time away, that this past hurt would have only sharpened Magna's betrayal. Trust was important to Miko - hell, it was important to Magna - and she had broken hers by lying, lying for years. She hadn't thought of it that way when she'd been doing it. The secret had weighed on her, yes, but she'd been viewing it from a place of hadn't really considered how it would hurt Miko, only what it would do to their relationship if it had ever come out, what it would do to her.

That, more than anything, had made her realize that Miko had been right to kick her out. More than right.

Which is why she could hardly believe that they were here now. That Miko was letting her head rest in her lap, that she had invited her to do so. Sitting back against a tree and patting her thigh with a small smile her way when Magna had gone to settle a short distance off. The way she had nearly fallen over herself to accept that invitation was almost embarrassing but she couldn't bring herself to feel self-conscious about it, or to second guess the action. They'd done this as friends too and she was glad it wasn't something she had sacrificed with their relationship.

She'd been attracted to Yumiko from the moment they met. It was hard not to be. She wasn't blind - hot lawyer lady in a suit, how could she not notice her in that way? The woman had entered into her dilapidated life with a sureness and determination that was hard to dismiss. Intelligent, strong, and fighting for her.

No one had ever fought for Magna. Not until Miko.

(really, she'd been screwed from the start)

Of course, the person Yumiko was fighting for was little more than an illusion. If Miko had only known the truth then . . .

She probably would have dropped her like a hot potato, just like everybody else. She probably would have been wise to.

Or maybe she wasn't giving Miko enough credit. After all, she was still here now. Carding her hand through Magna's hair in a soothing motion as she pretended to sleep - and Miko pretended to believe her. She knew the truth now, and still she kept close. Maybe they weren't together anymore but that had been as much Magna's choice as Miko's. She couldn't let herself get to that place again, where she was so terrified of losing something, she ended up destroying it.

And God, Magna was so tired, so tired of being afraid, so tired of being angry.

Just so tired.

('I can't do this anymore.')

She needed a distance between them, even if she didn't want it. Romantic relationships had a tendency to blow up in her face. But friendships . . . well, they tended to be more reliable. After all, she had been friends with Miko for years and things only turned sour after they had crossed over the safety of that border into something more.

(things turned sour because you couldn't stand keeping it a secret from her anymore. The same thing would have happened if you'd still been only friends)

She shifted uncomfortably, remembering at the last second that she was supposed to be asleep. But Miko only stilled a moment before continuing with her motions, allowing the deception to maintain itself.

The relief passed her lips in a shaky exhale.

Magna couldn't bring herself to talk anymore. She was drained - both emotionally and physically - and the thought of pulling any more words out almost made her cry from exhaustion. And Miko seemed to sense that, almost as soon as Magna had first fallen silent. But then, she'd always been good at reading her.

She was observant. Like Connie.

Squeezing her eyes shut tighter, she immediately regretted the action. In the darkness, all she saw was her friend's face, disappearing into the crowd of sickos, possibly never to be seen again. Of course, Magna hadn't seen that at all. She'd kept her gaze ahead, too wary to look around and give away the disguise, but she had felt Connie's hand slip from hers, the ache of the empty space it left behind. Her imagination filled in the blanks now, even adding in a few colorful extras - wide eyes, a silent scream, falling beneath the weight of too many bodies, torn apart. Gone.

So many people were just . . . gone.

"Do you think she survived?" The words hung in the night air; foreign, distant. Magna blinked, unsure if they'd really come from her. She couldn't remember opening her mouth. But her tongue felt thick and heavy, her lips cracked, she could taste the metallic hint of blood caused by the effort.

Miko paused. Just a second, her fingers tangling in Magna's hair a little too tight, almost painful, then a breath, and she returned to smoothing it back. "You did."

"Barely. I was lucky."

"And there's no reason she won't be, too. Connie's smart, strong. She could make it."

Magna could think of a hundred reasons. A thousand.

Her stomach turned and she closed her eyes, opening them in a snap when Connie's face answered her. She trembled. "I should have stopped. I should have looked for her."

Miko didn't hesitate. "Then you'd be dead. Might even have gotten her killed as well. All for nothing."

At least, I wouldn 't be feeling like this.

Magna opened her mouth to argue but found that she didn't have the strength. She closed her eyes again, inhaling the scent of the woods, of the leaves and dirt beneath their bodies, of Miko. Especially Miko. "What the hell am I going to say to Kelly?"

If she wasn't dead.

What if they were the only ones left? Her and Miko. Bernie gone. Connie gone. Kelly gone. Luke gone. She'd failed to protect them. All of them.

And she'd thought she'd cried enough tears but her eyes burned and she rubbed at them fiercely, like there was dirt, like if she could just get it out the fire would vanish and she wouldn't crumble to ashes in its grip.

And there was Miko's voice, all at once gentle and firm, pulling her back. "She won't blame you. She knows you. You've always fought hard for us. As hard as you can. This just wasn't a situation in which you could."

Magna nearly scoffed.

No, she could have fought. But she'd gotten scared. She'd hesitated. She hated being fucking scared (small and shaking, hugging Morgan to her chest as Daddy's voice got loud, so loud, why was it so loud?). It was such a useless emotion. And now it had probably gotten Connie killed.

Miko tugged at her hair slightly, gentle but scolding. "Seriously, Magna. You couldn't have done anything. If anyone should be feeling guilty it's me."

Frowning, she turned her head in her grip to look up, a strand of hair snagged but she didn't mind the pain. "What are you talking about?"

But Miko shook her head, refusing to meet her gaze as she focused on raking her hands through Magna's hair, avoiding the knots with an ease born of years of practice. "I should have been there with you. I shouldn't have stayed behind that day."

And then you might be dead, too. Magna shuddered at the thought. Her worst fear, worse than Miko choosing to leave her, being taken from her. Forever.

And it wasn't even a what-if situation. It felt inevitable. This was the apocalypse: their expiration dates were always inching closer.

"I'm glad you did." Even though Magna couldn't see her face, she sensed her hurt, felt the flinch of her hand. "I couldn't lose you. Not like that."

Giving up on getting Miko to look at her, she settled back in her lap but kept her eyes open.

Yumiko's voice was caustic when she responded, fragile and harsh all at once. "I thought I lost you." The hand resumed its stroking, stiffer now, almost angry. "At least if I had been there I could have helped, and I would have known. I would have known if you were okay."

Not if you got out with Kelly.

But, no, Miko wouldn't have left them, wouldn't have left her. She would have seen her double back with Connie and gone after her too - like Magna, she was always watching. Maybe she would even have noticed and gone after Connie first - she was equally as protective of their group - and then Magna would have been the one left behind, to wonder, to fear.

Thinking about it, that probably would have driven her to punch Carol, too. Though her fuse had always been a lot shorter than Miko's.

Now, she snorted at the sudden memory. "I can't believe you punched Carol. I've never seen you like that." In a way, it had scared her. She was so used to Miko being the calm one, forever in control. She was the one who reined Magna in.

Okay, it had also been kind of hot. Even half-dead on her feet, she couldn't fail to notice that.

"To be honest, neither can I." There was a wry note to the older woman's tone, and Magna wondered if she was smiling, almost risked looking up again to find out. "I don't regret it, if that's what you're wondering."

"Not like you to kick a dog when it's down."

"Not like you to be so forgiving."

She scoffed. "I'm not. Connie's gone. Probably dead and she-" Magna swallowed, collecting herself. "I'm not forgiving. I just don't have the energy to be angry anymore."

"Well that's definitely not like you." Miko teased, hesitating for a moment before severity bled back into her tone. "Are you going to be okay?"

She closed her eyes, sighed. Why was she so good? "You don't have to worry about me, Miko."

Scoff. "Another lie. I found a grey hair the other day, thanks to you."

"Oh and it couldn't have possibly been the literal end of days that we're stuck in?"

"Have you met you?" Another tug at her hair, this time playful and, for a moment, Magna could breathe easier. "Seriously, though, are you going to be okay?"

For a moment.

She shifted, hair pulling painfully but that was almost welcome. "I'll be fine. I'll be a lot better once we find Kelly and Luke."

"And Connie."

"And Connie." She wished she could feel more hopeful on that front. Miko squeezed her shoulder and she relaxed slightly, trying to push the dark thoughts away for now. There'd been too many of them tonight already. There were always too many. But just for tonight she wanted to escape them, to hide away in Miko's lap and absorb every touch, every smell, every word . . . that she had come so close to never experiencing again.

. . .

"How can you lose me? You've owned me from the first moment I saw you."

― Dianna Hardy, Cry Of The Wolf

. . .

The full gravity of the world ending fell upon Yumiko within a matter of hours, there'd been no time to trivialize or hope. Right from the start, she'd felt the impact.

Her mother had been a doctor in the old world and she'd been working a shift at the hospital when the outbreak hit the city and surrounding areas. Yumiko's stomach still turned at the memory of calling her up from the safety of Magna's apartment, her eyes trained on the insanity playing out across every news station, her heart pounding as she pleaded, pleaded for the other woman to pick up, to be alright, to-

But the phone had rung and rung. One, two, twelve phone calls later and nothing.

----

Unable to sit and wait any longer, Yumiko swiped her abandoned keys off the table and marched towards the door, ready to drive over there right that second and make her mother okay. She was smart, her mother was smart, and resourceful, and she'd never stopped practicing krav maga - and Yumiko would definitely come to regret refusing all those classes the woman had tried to get her to enroll in growing up but she 'd been focused on her books and her studies and all her dreams for a future that fighting never entered into-

Her mother would be fine .

But a hand grabbed hers - strong, nails almost biting into her skin - and pulled her back. "You can't go out there."

Magna.

At some point, she 'd forgotten the other woman was even there, just whose home she stood barricaded within.

"I have to get to the hospital, my mother she-"

"Yumiko, you saw the news - hell, you just almost got your face bitten off by one of those sickos - the world's fucking lost it. " Her face took on an expression of incredulity. "And you want to go to the fucking hospital? No, no way."

Yumiko clenched her jaw, trying not to snap. "She's my mother. I need to make sure she's okay."

"I know, OK? Trust me I get it but . . ." she took a breath, frustrated and Yumiko could detect an air of desperation in the way she closed her eyes, pressed her lips together. "But you just, you can't, okay? They said that part of the city is already overrun and it's a hospital . The amount of people in there, dying people . . . it's a death trap."

Yumiko looked away, knowing she was right but unwilling to face it. It was her mother .

For a spiteful moment, she wondered whether Magna really did 'get it'. As far as she knew, the other woman hadn't visited her own mother since she was a child. Yumiko didn't even know if she was still alive - or if Magna knew for that matter.

"Look, I . . . " Magna shook her head. "If I thought that it could work, that we'd be able to help, hell even be able to get in there, I would drive you myself."

"You don't have a license." She wasn 't sure why she said it, why out of all the things Magna was saying, that had stuck out the most. But it was the only thing she had the means to protest.

Magna huffed. "Fine, I'd let you drive but that-that's not the point. Miko, we don't even know how to kill these things. I stabbed that guy in the neck and he barely even flinched. The dead are eating people, I can't . . ." She shook her head, lost for words. "I can't protect you from that."

Yumiko cursed the way those words made her stomach flip - not the time. Her phone felt heavy in her pocket, useless, and her mind was a violent hellscape, tossing up image after image of all the situations that could be keeping her mother from answering but . . .

Fuck it.

She was right.

The world shook for a moment, shaky legs almost falling out from under her as she allowed herself to sink down onto the floor, hiding her head in her hands. She was right . The darkness made everything still and she could imagine for a moment that this wasn't really happening, that it was just some big nightmare, that-

People were fucking eating people, for god's sakes. Dead people. How could this be real?

There was a pause, the sound of shuffling, and she felt a stiff form settle down beside her. Hesitantly, an arm came around her, too lose, too distant, but there. "I'm sorry."

Yumiko shook her head, forgetting entirely Magna's discomfort when it came to any kind of physical intimacy - hell, any kind of intimacy in general - and allowed herself to collapse. Falling into her, she buried her head in the other woman's chest, hands coming up to latch onto the fabric of her shirt, desperate for something, anything to hold onto.

Magna flinched and her body became like a rock, rebelling at every place of contact between them.

Remembering herself, Yumiko moved to withdraw, "Shit, sorry, I-" but the arm around her tightened, keeping her in place. Slowly, she felt the muscles against her force themselves to relax as that arm found a surer purchase, pulling her closer. After a moment, she felt the slight weight of a chin coming to rest on her head, a hand coming up to find one of hers. Disentangling Yumiko 's almost rabid hold, they wrapped around her and squeezed, held tight and this-

This was better.

"Stay."

She did.

. . .

"I am your friend. a soul for your soul. a place for your life. home. know this. sun or water. here or away. we are a lighthouse. we leave. and we stay."

― Nayyirah Waheed

. . .

Magna knew that Miko's upbringing had been a fair bit more stable than hers. Parents divorced at nine, yes, but that was terribly common wasn't it? (and neither of them had tried to shoot the other.) She'd graduated at the top of her class, whilst Magna had been kicked out of three schools for fighting before her aunt and uncle had given up and stopped sending her. It wasn't a huge loss. The only classes she'd been doing well in were art and P.E. And whilst she had missed those it was a relief to get away from the taunting students and judgmental teachers.

Considering her criminal record that kept her from working at anything other than a seedy truck stop with its overly handsy customers, that had probably worked out for the best. Good grades wouldn't have been of any help to her by then.

She still laughed sometimes at the memory of Miko popping by on her shifts, how out of place she'd looked, sitting on a rickety stool behind the counter whilst Magna tended customers, still dressed in a suit from work that never seemed to wrinkle.

The pair of them had garnered more than a few looks.

But Miko had been at ease with it, picking at her fries - the only food on the menu that would probably pass a health inspection - making small talk, interjecting with the occasional complaint about Jerry, the company vulture, who kept trying to steal her clients. Magna had been confused by the attention, wary even. She'd wondered if the lawyer checked up on all her former clients like this, or if she was just a special case. She hadn't asked - she hadn't wanted to know the answer, to face the inevitable 'yes'.

A part of her had wanted to scare her off, had hated the way she got instantly on edge as soon as she saw Miko's form enter in the door, the way she felt even worse when she watched her leave out it. But another, more secret part, had been starved for company; the kind that didn't make her want to punch someone, anyway. So she'd held her tongue, and slowly let down her defenses.

Until one night, a trucker had gone to bite a chunk out of Miko's face.

It had been her turn to work the truck stop diner connected to the store, and Yumiko had been leaning against the counter, nursing a cup of too-sweet hot chocolate and conversing with her between customers. She'd just glanced down at her phone after hearing a ping and Magna had looked up at the sound, glimpsed the man lumbering closer, closer - too close.

She'd never been so glad of the quick reflexes life had beaten into her, because in that moment she hadn't needed to think. She'd shoved Miko back, a little too forcefully since she ended up hitting the ground with a smack that made Magna wince - but it was enough.

Her hand had been grabbing the knife from beneath the bench before she even registered, her arm jolting with the shock of sinking it into flesh that gave way too easily as she leapt across the counter, blood spattering against her face in a terrible sort of deja vu, her stomach turning - fuck fuck fuck - but he didn't fall, didn't scream; and then she'd grabbed Miko, tugged her up and ran, ears howling with the sound of all hell breaking loose around them. The police sirens in her head hadn't been real, she'd known they weren't, they couldn't be, not this soon, but her heart pounded in her chest from more than just adrenaline and fuck-

She'd done it again.

And just when she was finally starting to get used to freedom.

She hadn't realized until later that night, hauled up in her apartment - it had been closest and neither of them had really wanted to be alone after that - and watching the actual End of Days unfold on international television, that it had been the first time they'd touched. Magna had always kept a certain level of distance and Miko had never tried to cross it. Not until later that night, when Magna had reached out to stop her from leaving, when she'd collapsed into her arms with an ease that made Magna want to run out the door instead . . . and later when Miko grabbed her hand as she was heading to bed. It was just a moment, just a brief squeeze accompanied by a weak but grateful smile - but Magna had felt her heart try to escape her chest at that smile, at that touch . . .

It had just been a push. Barely anything compared to getting someone out of jail at least twelve years - though more likely an entire lifetime - earlier than expected. Especially when she still hadn't known that the person she'd been fighting so hard to free wasn't nearly as innocent as she'd assumed.

Somehow, the most surprising event of the night, was that Magna hadn't minded the touch, hadn't pulled away. More shocking, she'd missed it when it was gone; had felt empty each time Miko left her grasp, yearning to reach out and-

And that was when Magna had known she was screwed.

Miko told her that she'd known the same thing sometime around the third day of planning their trial strategy.

Thirteen years later and they were still pretty screwed.

. . .

"I've spent much too long in the space between staying and letting go."

- Perry Poetry

. . .

A/N: So this story has turned out to be a lot more Magna-centric then intended and that's not because I love Yumiko any less, I just find it easier to get inside the heads of characters like Magna. I'm used to writing somewhat dysfunctional people with more than a bit of trauma (probably cos I have a bit of trauma of my own lol). You know, the loveable walking disasters of the world. She might come off a bit ooc in this and that's partly because I'm still familiarizing myself with writing her and because she's a tad bit fragile after everything that's happened, which i think we all saw in last episode - Miko is also feeling pretty fragile for the same reason. Speaking of which. What. The. Fuck. It makes zero sense to me that these two would make up but still not get back together and I'm gonna sue the writers for torture if this keeps going on. So I had to write a fix-it fic. And I also felt like there was a lot these two still needed to talk about that I'm not entirely confident the show will ever address so voila a fic was made.

Also, just gonna note going forth that Magna’s own feelings about herself aren’t necessarily a reflection of my own feelings about her character. Girl’s got some insecurities to sort through. Likewise, her judgments - good and bad - about Yumiko aren’t necessarily true, either, for the same reason. It’s one of the causes for conflict in their relationship.

So there are probably two ways to look at how these two might have noticed they had feelings for each other: a) these two idiots have been in love for 13 years and were both too chicken and oblivious to do do anything about it, or b) their love developed slowly from the bonds of friendship over a very long time. I like both options but I decided to go with the former for this fic.

The series titles is from the song You by Keaton Henson. If you're familiar with the song - my Lost Girl buddies will be - don't worry nobody is going to die! that line just really fits them so much, and it's also about accepting the fact that you might lose the one you love but that doesn't mean you should be afraid of loving them or living your life.

. . .

OK, just gonna do a little shameless self-promotion, hope you don't mind :)

I made a yumagna vid so if you haven't seen it already and you're interested it's here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grzrpr0QZEE (I'm gonna do more so if you want to stay in the loop subscribe to my youtube channel. I'll probs end up doing a short one for Unsteady because of this fic but I'm holding out till we get a yumagna hug)

I have an insta for yumagna called @yumagnas.home . my multifandom one is @bonnielextra (lots of awesome women that i make edits for just fyi) and my personal one is @cissyalice. Hit me up so I can follow some more yumagna stans!

My twitter is @bonnielextra and @welcometocaritas (for my edits). Currently just a lot of crying about yumagna on the first one.

And my tumblr is welcometocaritas. Obviously no pressure to look at any of these but I just thought I'd put them in just case :)

#yumagna #magniko #the walking dead #nadia hilker #eleanor matsuura #yumagna edit #yumagna fanfic #magna twd #yumiko #yumiko twd #mypost #My posts #myfic #my fic #my edit #myedit

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let-fred-live · 6 years ago

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ok wait i woke up and wrote this and fell back asleep let me correct myself the birds were magpies so they walked across a parliament not a murder excuse me but heres the story

STORY TIME: Once upon a time, there was a boy. Orphaned and the youngest of his siblings, he led a simple life, farming and taking care of his old ox, which his older siblings did not want.

Unbeknownst to him, his ox was a god.

The ox then spoke to him, telling him that he had taken care of him well, and that later on that day, he should go to the riverbanks and take one specific robe, as that would belong to his future wife.

At this time, the seven daughters of the Emperor of Heaven came down to the mortal realm in their magic form, took off their magic robes, and took a bath in the river. So this boy went and took this robe. The robe belonged to the seventh daughter, known for her superior cloud weaving skills, which is also presumably why her robe was easier to identify among the seven cloths. As females, the sisters were understandably spooked when they sensed a male coming in while they were bathing, and took their magic robes and whooshed off back home.

These clothes had the ability to give the wearer flight and access to the heavens, which was why, when her robe was taken, she was left behind with no other option but to find it.

The boy then jumped out, magic robe in hand, asking her to marry him. She agreed, they married, birthed twins, a happy married life.

He worked in the fields, she wove to her hearts content. They were in love.

Then, the old ox told the boy that it was going to die, but that didn’t mean it was useless. Requesting to have his hide kept by the boy, he pressed upon the importance of it. Thus, when the ox died, the boy kept its hide.

One day, their peaceful lives were interrupted by a summons from Heaven. Whisking his wife away, he could only watch and plead as his beloved was flown higher and higher up to the celestial realm. He the remembered the words of the ox, and hurried to put its hide on.

This granted him to means to fly and catch up with his wife, when, at the gates of the Palace, the Empress, filled with righteous fury at the thought of a mortal being with a god, used her hairpin to slash out a river between them. This is now known as the Milky Way, and was what now separated the mortal realm and the celestial realm. No mortal could cross without dying.

It is to be taken into notice that he has his children while he flies up into the unknown.

Unwilling to leave, he stood there, day after day, week after week, crying out and pleading for his wife. She, on the other side of the river, was forced to continue her jobs and duties of weaving the clouds, while also mourning the absence of her husband. The Empress was moved by this, and allowed the two to meet up once a year, on the seventh day of the seventh lunar month.

But it wasn’t just the Empress who was moved. The birds were too.

Magpies, touched by his devotion and their love, flew in by the thousands. They flew and as they came to this river, they made a bridge from their bodies, allowing the couple to stride across their flesh and to finally meet in the middle.

Thus, on the seventh day of the seventh lunar moth, as the couple finally reunite, it is said that you won’t find any magpies here in the mortal realm, as they’ve all gone to make that bridge for the two lovers.

just a boy and a fairy walking ACROSS A MURDER IN THE MIDDLE OF SPACE TO MEET EACH OTHER and that’s why I like Chinese valentines day

#chinese valentines day #!!#long #writing #mythology #ok sorry i slept and wrote this post and went back to sleep in my mind it seemed like they were crows oops #dontt attack meguys i know this shit ok #theres a lot of versions but i like this one #also its the version thats like #kinda problematic so that s fun too

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blurry-fics · 6 years ago

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The Worst Part

Pairing: Josh Dun x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of infidelity & general angst

Word Count: 1045

Summary: You find out something you would rather not know, leading to a tough conversation with Josh.

Author’s Note: All I have to say is happy birthday, Josh. Sorry I wrote such a sad fic on your birthday! (Also, feels nice to be back to the normal posting schedule!)

“Tell me. You wouldn’t before, so I need you to now.”

Your mouth was set in a hard line. Josh stood on the other side of the table, his mouth hanging partially open in disbelief. Papers sat scattered on the dining table in front of you, ripped out of old spiral notebooks that you had never once suspected. You had always believed Josh when he told you they were old lyric notebooks of Tyler’s, never once questioning why he was the one holding on to them.

Josh’s eyes were brimmed with tears, “I - I can’t.”

“Can’t?” You swallowed hard. “Or won’t?”

Josh’s lip quivered and he brought his hands to his forehead, squeezing his eyes shut as he did so. Your hands were shaking as you reached out and grabbed the nearest sheet of paper. You took a moment to breathe deeply and clear your throat before you began to read.

“I’m not sure that I love Y/N anymore. I don’t see her the same way when I look at her.”

Josh sniffled.

“How long ago was that?” you asked.

“Two months,” he exhaled.

You ignored the tear that had slipped down your cheek and skipped ahead a few pages. Josh was unable to look at you now; his eyes were still squeezed tightly shut. You began reading again.

“I met a new girl. Her name is-,” your voice faltered as you tried to read out the name Josh had written. The name seemed so familiar in Josh’s handwriting, though you had never met her. You skipped over it. “She makes me feel electric. I haven’t felt like that with Y/N in months.”

“Y/N, please,” Josh muttered.

“I think I might see where things go with this new girl. I’ve never felt like this before and I don’t want to let it go.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re not sorry, Josh,” you said. Your knuckles were white where they were gripping the edge of the notebook. “If you were sorry, you wouldn’t have done this.”

“I had to put it all down somewhere and I couldn’t tell Tyler-”

You threw the notebook down onto the table in your frustration, “Of course you couldn’t tell him! You knew what you were doing was wrong, but you still went ahead and did it anyway.”

“I never expected it to go that far-”

“You slept with her, Josh!”

“Y/N, it was one time. I was drunk and my judgement lapsed and things happened. I wish I could take it all back, I really do.”

“Then explain this,” you said, gesturing to the notebooks that were scattered across the table. “You regret sleeping with her, but obviously you don’t regret leading me on.”

He leaned his back against the wall, covering his face with his hands again. It pained you to see him like this, breaking down into sobs right in front of you. You dropped your voice back to a normal level, trying to talk through the lump that had formed in your throat.

“Why did you let me find out like this, Josh? Why couldn’t you have just told me when you started having doubts?”

“I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Hurt me?” you scoffed. “Were you just planning to lead me on forever, then?”

“I hadn’t figured it out yet.”

“Do you want to know what the worst part of this whole thing is, Josh?”

A tear ran down his cheek, but he hastily wiped it away with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. He was refusing to look at you still.

“What?” he croaked.

“That, despite everything you did to me, I still love you.”

“Please don’t say that,” he whispered.

“My knees still get weak when I look at you. You put butterflies in my stomach, even when I know you’ve cheated on me. All I want right now is to be wrapped in your arms and let you press kisses to my forehead and have you tell me that everything is going to be ok. And this whole time,” your voice faltered, “you were running around behind my back feeling that way with someone else.”

“We can fix this.”

You shook your head violently, afraid that if you didn’t you might cave to his words. Your lips were trembling.

“We can’t. I won’t. I’m not going to spend the rest of my life with someone when I can’t trust them.”

“Y/N, please, I love you. I can make things right.”

“You had your chance to make things right, Josh! You could have told me you didn’t love me anymore and let me deal with that heartbreak. That would have left an opportunity for reconciliation in the future, but this? We can’t come back from this.”

Josh put his hands down on the table, steadying himself. You cast your eyes down to the table, where one of the notebooks had fallen open on an entry from the week before.

I saw her again last night. Y/N thought I was out with Tyler. There’s something exhilarating about knowing I’m going behind her back, although I can’t help the tug of guilt that I get. Maybe it will get easier with time. Or I’ll finally tell Y/N the truth.

“Can you please just say it to me? I need to hear it from you.”

Josh bit down on his bottom lip.

“I don’t love you anymore, Y/N.”

Expecting the words didn’t make them hurt any less. You rested a hand on the wall to support the weight that your shaking legs could no longer hold on their own.

“I’m so sorry,” he added.

You pressed your lips together, fighting your final urge to accept his apology and run back to him. It took you a moment to finally move your feet and step away from the table. Josh stayed where he was, bent over the table with all the notebooks in front of him.

“Bye, Josh.”

You grabbed your bag and keys and stepped out the front door. The rest of your things could wait until later, once you felt confident that you wouldn’t feel tempted to give Josh a second chance. What he had done was unforgivable, you knew that.

You just wished it didn’t hurt so bad to leave.

#josh dun #josh dun x reader #josh dun angst #twenty one pilots #twenty one pilots fanfiction #josh dun imagine #josh dun drabble #twenty one pilots imagine #twenty one pilots angst #angst #tw; infidelity #tw; cheating #skeleton clique #blurry-fics #i'm doing way fewer tags now and it's so much EASIER #f!reader

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be-the-strange468 · 6 years ago

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Given a Voice Again

I have had this head cannon of JJ using sign language as a way to communicate ever since I saw a post about it. I thought that it would be a cool way to connect him and the other Jacksepticeye egos to the DA. With them being trapped in the mirror and not being able to be heard. This is my own idea of how that meeting would take place.

I know that the DA is a self insert and has no specific gender but I felt having them be a woman was a better fit for this.

Also tried my best to explain the ASL signs. I’m currently taking classes in ASL by I am by no means perfect.

————————————————————

It wasn’t sleep that you were awoken from that day, it was more of a trance. Since the moment you were shoved into the mirror and the prison that you’ve named the “upside down” you never slept.

You were never tired though. In fact you hardly felt anything while in there. The only sense you were allowed to have was sight, and sometimes you wish that was taken from you.

When was the last time you felt the warm sun on your face, or breathed in the intoxicating smell of fresh bread and wine. And how many nights did you look out from your mirror to see rain drops trickledown on the window pain with each flash of lightning and tried to remember what thunder sounded like.

No, sight is what you were given and that is what will stay. But that did not mean you were completely unaware of the space around you. The upside down has been apart of you for a long time and you can feel if there is a disturbance.

Looking out of your cracked window into the world you came from, you saw that it wasn’t an ordinary group of men in the house. Most of the time if anyone was brave enough to enter it was teenagers that were dared to break in or vandals looking for a house to loot. But they never stayed long, the house would not let them.

But these folks were different, for one they came in the middle of the day. You noticed sun beams streaming through the sky lights. They also looked nearly identical with the only thing telling them apart were clothing and hair. Lastly they were not effected by the force that would normally drive people like them out. The house recognized their presence but had no impact on them.

Your curiously pulled you closer to the mirror. Gazing out you saw the five men taking in the beautiful manor. You knew that many years have passed and the fashion choices have changed but these were some of the most odd clothing items you have ever seen.

Two of the boys dressed in capes and odd masks ran into the other room. While one in a lab coat and the other with a gray hat with a symbol walked into another. The only one remaining had clothing more similar to your time but even so they seemed a little dated. He wore a bowler hat and pare of trousers while sporting a well maintained mustache.

You saw him looking around the room until his eyes fell on your mirror. Instinctively you took a step back even though nobody has ever seen you in the mirror before, no matter how hard your fists pounded against it when you first arrived.

But he looked right in to you eyes and blinked a few times, like he was surprised at what he saw. Then the man extend his arm and shook his hand side to side waving “hello”.

Eyes widening you chest felt like it had just exploded from both hope and fear. “You..” your voice was cracked from not using it in years. “You...see me?” As you spoke you gestured the words.

The man smiled raising his hand into a fist and shook it up and down mimicking the the motion of his head.

Your mind went swirling. You never thought anyone would see you again. That you would be forever forgotten to the world you were forced to watch. Tears that you haven’t had in a long time began to flood from you eyes as you begin crying.

The man seeing your reaction gave a panicked look and quickly took out a note book and pen to scribble out a sentence. “I’m sorry I did not want to make you sad.” As he held up the book with his left hand his right one made a fist and he rubbed it a circular motion over the center of his chest.

You wiped the tears from your eyes and gestured that you were ok. He relaxed again and began writing down something “My name is JJ what is yours?”

For a split moment you forgot where you were and began to speak your name but quickly remembered the sound bearer.

Shaking your head you gestured. “I can’t hear you and you can’t hear me.”

His eyebrows lifted. Taking the pen he began writing again. “I can’t speak too. But I can hear when my friends talk to me. I use writing and hand language to communicate.”

Reading over the words you were in awe. During your life you remembered hearing about people that had no ability to hear and could not speak because of it. In the time since a language had been created for them to talk.

He began writing again. “What is the first letter in your name?”

Lifting up you hand to the cracked glass you traced the outline of your first letter.

He smiled. And wrote some more. “This is the hand sign for mirror.” Flattening his hand he hovered it next to his temple then brining forward to cover is eye twice.

He wrote again. “And this is the hand sign for your letter.”

He made his hand to a shape and you copped it your self.

“This can be your sign name.”

He took the shape of your letter and brought it up to his temple doing the same motion as the mirror sign before.

Again you copied.

He began grinning with excitement and jotted down more in his book. “My name is...” then he gestured the sentence in his hand language.

Putting his hand spread out over his chest for “my” then using both hands he extended both pointer and middle fingers in each hand and tapped the right one over the left one twice for the word “name”. Then taking his right hand he extended his pinky finger and made a “J” shape that fallowed the top outline of his mustache.

I copied his movements from before but used my sign name combination of the letter and mirror.

JJ had an open mouth grin as he lifted both of his hands and twisted his wrist over and over again.

You smiled in response and again copied the motion.

Something caught JJ’s attention as he looked to the side where a another room was. The man with the lab coat stepped forward into your sight and he began talking to JJ.

JJ nodding along to what he was saying and used several gestures that you were unable to keep up with before pointing to you.

The other man looked into the mirror an widened his eyes at the sight of you. He opened and closed his mouth in disbelief and took a step closer to examine.

He spoke a few words but you could only see his lips move with no sound.

JJ taped his shoulder and pointed pointed to you then his ear while shaking his head. Then bringing out his paper and pen again he gave it over.

Taking it the lab coat man wrote something down and showed it to you. “My name is Dr. Henrik von Schneeplestein. JJ says that you can not hear us. Is that true?”

You shifted your eyes down sadly as you confirmed.

The doctor nodded and wrote again. “How long have you been here?”

Flatting your lips you were trying to remember number of the years that went by. You stoped counting long ago. Instead you held up fingers representing the year you were trapped. “1927”

The doctor began to write something down but stoped. Sighing he turned to JJ and asked him something. JJ nodded telling him to go on. The doctor went back to writing and showed you the pad.

“The current year is 2017.”

Both men stoped to let you take in the information you just learned.

The date burned in your mind. It was 2017, nearly one hundred years since that day. Everyone that you have ever known and loved long gone. Perhaps even the “thing” that took over your own body no longer existed on the planet.

While you were processing the revaluation the two were having a conversation of their own.

“What do you think this is?” JJ signed to the doctor.

“I don’t know,” he said bringing his hand up to his chin in thought. “Sean said that this place was Mark’s formal residence and our abilities would prevent any force acted on us but nothing about a woman trapped here.”

“What if Mark didn’t tell him?”

Schneep shook his head. “I don’t think Mark would let us stay here with out letting us know of her existence. I think he doesn’t know about her.”

JJ looked back at you in the mirror. He saw that you were now cradling your arms looking down to the floor. Remembering what you said about being in the mirror since 1927 he realized that this was probably the first contact you’ve had since.

“I want to try and talk talk to her,” he signed. “For as long as we are here I will learn more. Maybe we can find a way to get her out.”

Schneep agreed. “I will try to contact Sean to see what he can find out from Mark but he is going to be busy with filming. Also let’s not tell her what we are doing. I don’t want her to get her hopes up if we can’t find a way. And we don’t know her relationship with Mark. My guess is that it’s not the best.”

With that the doctor walked away to inform the other egos the situation and make a phone call.

JJ tapped your mirror and waved to grab your attention. Bringing your self out of our thoughts you read the paper in he was holding up.

“We are going to be staying here for a few weeks while our friend is visiting.”

Your hair stood on end. They could not stay. If one night in this house let to so much bloodshed there is no telling what could happen.

Desperately you tried to warn JJ that it was too dangerous.

He shook his head with a smile and jotted down again. “My friends and I won’t be affected by this place. We are not ordinary humans. We will be ok.”

Squinting your brows you did not believe it. Again you tried to warn him but he just wrote more words. “I promised we will be fine.” He spread out his fingers and touched his thumb to his chest.

You sighed as there was nothing you could do but hope he was right. JJ was pleased and wrote down something else.

“We won’t get very far in conversation by using pen and paper. Do you want me to teach you my sign language?”

You hesitated. Was it really worth getting to know them better. What if everything is taken from you again.

But this could be your only chance at human interaction, even if it didn’t last long. Pushing down you fear you shyly nodded your head up and down repeatedly.

In those few weeks not only did you meet the rest of the “egos” as they called themselves but you learned the entire alphabet, most numbers, and you were able to understand and sign simple conversations. Any word you did not know you would finger spell and JJ or sometimes one of the others would tell you.

It was Jackie boy and Marvin that sported the masks and capes. And Chase was the man with the grey hat. JJ was not lying when he said they were not ordinary humans. Marvin was a literal magician with actual magic, as far as you could tell. Jackie boy was what he called a super hero. And Chase called himself a real “bro”.

It was the greatest few weeks of your life getting to know them but you knew that it would not last long. They were going to leave soon and from your conversations you learned that they are not even from America and that they lived in the UK.

When you showed them that you were able to travel from mirror to mirror in the house Marvin had tried to see if you could go in to one of his pocket mirrors so they could take out of the house but it was impossible. Same situation when Chase tried to take any of the mirrors of the wall. They would never budge.

You commend them for trying. It at least meant they cared for you.

On the last day they all were packing up their things. You began to feel a tightening pain in your chest at the sight but JJ came up to your mirror.

“You know we don’t want to leave your here but we all need to go back home.”

“I understand,” you’d signed back. “Thank you for giving me a voice again.”

He smiled. “It might not be every day but Marvin will be able to teleport me or one of us her to talk to you. And we won’t stop looking for a way to get you out.”

Your heart ached at the idea of being free. “I know. But don’t worry about me too much. I’ve been trapped here nearly one hundred years. I can stay a little longer especially now that I have you guys,”

More of the egos came into frame with the luggage they brought with them when they first arrived. Each of them waved to you.

“Keep practicing,” JJ signed adding a wink. “Don’t get lazy while I’m gone.”

“I promise,” you swore. And you indeed meant to keep it. JJ had left a hand sign paper taped to one of the bathroom mirrors with the alphabet. Every hour you had would be spent practicing to spelling out different words that you did not know so when they come back you would ask.

With that it was time for them to go. Each one signed goodbye using the sign name that JJ had given you that first day they arrived then they faded away in Marvin’s magic.

The moment their presence was gone you felt the upside down return to its former state. Silent, unfeeling, and lonely. You thought back to the day they arrived and touched the cracks in the mirror that were there from the beginning.

“Mirror” you signed to yourself. It was the first word you learned in sign language and also half of your sign name.

One day you were going to break free. The thought you had given up a long time ago now resurfaced. Some how, some way, you were going to get out.

#wkm district attorney #who killed markiplier #jacksepticeye egos #markiplier egos #wkm y/n #given a voice again story

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ghost-nabbers-imagines · 6 years ago

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Safe here Larry x fem reader Part 1

I know this is a sensitive topic but it's close to my heart and I’ve been trying to write something involving the topic for a while now using these characters it just fell together. TW:Sexual abuse by a family member. Yes I know this can happen to men too I just wrote this one specifically towards a female for reasons. I really like how this turned out. I’m debating turning it into a series/ book and posting it somewhere but I’m not sure. Anyways enjoy

I stared at the ceiling above me my body still shaking. How could someone I love do something so awful to me? I rolled over to see my alarm clock read 6:30 AM. I had been laying here for hours already. Right now the only thing I wanted to do was to go see my boyfriend Larry, but there's no way he's up.

I decided to distract myself by getting in the shower but the moment the water started to hit my bare skin my breath sped up and I could feel a panic attack coming. This had happened too many times. I curled up in a ball in my shower sobbing into my knees. I felt so unclean like I wanted to burn every inch of my skin. Luckily my family was gone for the day and wouldn't be able to hear my loud sobs. I just sat there feeling the water cool as I broke down. By the time I was able to settle down the water was ice cold but I didn't care I just needed to get out of here.

I jumped from the shower pulling on my shorts and a shirt. I barely even bothered to dry off so my skin and hair were both soaking wet. I didn't even think twice I ran out of the house into the cold air. Luckily the apartments weren't too far away.

When I got to the basement Lisa was sitting on the couch sipping coffee while reading the newspaper. "Oh hi sweetie I didn't know you were coming over so early." She smiled turning to look at me fully. Her smile faded seeing my appearance. I probably looked like I was straight out of a cheesy drama movie scene. She looked me over worriedly placing her cup and the paper on the table. "(Y/n) dear your soaking wet and shivering. And have you been crying? What's wrong?" She asked coming over to hug me.

I wrapped my arms around her feeling the tears start to form again. I wanted to tell Lisa since she's like a mom to me but I had to talk to Larry first. "I-I just need to talk to Larry." I sniffled. "Ok sweetie I'm sure the boys are still sleeping but you can go in and wake them." She informed me.

Sal must've slept over last night meaning he'd be here to help me calm Larry down after. "Thank you Lisa." I weakly smiled. She released me from the hug giving my hands a squeeze. “I’m here if you need it you know.” I nodded thanking her before quietly entering the room. Sal was already up and was dressed in just a pair of pajama pants with his hair down and without his prosthetic. Luckily Sal trusted me enough to not particularly care that I saw him without it. "Hey (y/n) I didn't know you were coming over today." He said with a small yawn.

"I wasn’t supposed to I just- I'm sorry to intrude on your guys time but I really needed to talk to Larry about something." I explained. "What's wrong?" He questioned concerned by my appearance. "I just really need to tell him something. And I'm scared if I don't it'll keep happening." I said my eyes welling up, I quickly covered my mouth with my hand to conceal a sob. Clearly seeing the pain I was in he immediately jumped to my side pulling me into a hug.

"Dude why are you being so fucking loud this early?" Grumbled Larry who was waking up. His blankets were wrapped around him messily partially falling off the bed. He had slept in a pair of boxers and his long hair was all over the place."Sorry baby I didn't mean to wake you." I sniffled. Hearing my voice he sat up rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Larry, (y/n)'s here and she really needs to talk to you." Sal spoke softly leaving his hand on my shoulder. Larry seeing my presence was real jumped up stumbling over his sheets. "Hey babe what're you doing here?" He asked.

Sal kindly excused himself to go get breakfast grabbing his mask on the way out. “What did you want to tell me angel?” He asked placing his hands on my arms. "Baby you're freezing here put this on." He said grabbing his red hoodie and handing it to me. I pulled it on gratefully before latching myself onto him. "What's wrong?" He whispered kissing the top of my head softly.

He carefully sat down on his bed pulling me into his lap. While I explained he ran a comforting hand through my hair using the other to hold me close. I just let everything out spilling every gruesome detail. By the time I was done Larry's hand had stopped moving through my hair and was clenched into a fist by his side.. I'm stunned staring at how angry he is. Sure I’ve seen him mad at Travis before but I’ve never seen him like this. His face is deep red, eyebrows furrowed, steam practically spilling from his ears, jaw clenched tightly, he had his fists clenched so hard I thought he'd break his skin. He was absolutely enraged and I not think a bull could have taken him down at that moment.

"I'm gonna kill em." He growls sitting me next to him on the bed before jumping up and storming towards the door. "Larry wait!" I called as he threw the door open and began stomping through the basement. I followed after him Lisa immediately turning towards us confused. "Larry don't do anything stupid please!" I begged holding his arm trying to hold him back. The tears were cascading down my cheeks as I urged my boyfriend to stop. Lisa ran over grabbing his other arm in attempt to hold him back. “Larry calm down I’m sure there’s a calm way to handle whatever’s going on.” Lisa tried to soothe her son while still not knowing the situation. "And let that scum bag get away with touching my girl like that? No! No fucking way!" He growled pulling out of our grasp.

Before he could get out the door Sal came in. "Sal stop him please!" I pleaded. Sal turned towards Larry. "Come on Sal we're gonna go kick her (your type of relative)'s fucking ass." He growled. Sal looked at me probably putting two and two together. I can't even imagine the face he was making under his mask. "Larry settle down going over there and killing them isn't gonna solve anything it'll just get you into trouble." Sal said standing in front of his tall angry friend. "Plus you're still in your boxers." He pointed out. Larry looked down a small blush covering his angry face. "Lar bear why don't you go get changed and calm down while (y/n) and I talk." Lisa spoke softly placing a hand on her son's shoulder. He turned towards me kissing my head before going back to his room slamming the door.

"(Y/n) sweetheart lets go and sit on the couch, we can talk about this." She spoke softly while brushing my hair back. I just nodded following her and Sal to the couch. Sal and I took a seat while Lisa began making us some drinks. Sal sat right next to me with a comforting hand rubbing my back. While my tears had stopped now I was still a bit shaky and his comforting touch helped a small bit.

"Sal after he's had a few minutes to calm down will you please talk to him?" I asked looking up to meet his icy blue eyes. He nodded understandingly so I wrapped my arms around him. "He's not mad at you ya know. Just mad at himself. He um. He told me about the time you guys were fooling around and you freaked out and left. There was like an hour where he convinced himself you were cheating that that's what made you freak out. Not that he doesn't trust you but you know how he thinks he's cursed. He's probably pissed at himself for not seeing what was really going on. More pissed at himself for not seeing how much you were hurting." Sal explained.

I nodded understanding before pulling away. "And for the record if you want Larry Ash, Maple, Chug, and I will go after this person. Show em what for." He winked making punching motions. "I mean I'd gladly get my ass kicked for you." He laughed. I laughed at the blue haired boy sitting in front of me. It honestly made me so happy to see how many wonderful people Larry had brought into my life. Lisa came back in setting two coffee cups down on the coffee table while Sal went to check on Larry.

~Larry's pov~

I aggressively pulled on some jeans and began searching for a clean shirt. I was more angry than I had been in my entire life. How could someone do that to (y/n)? How could anyone want to hurt someone so sweet and loving. I couldn’t wipe the image from my mind and it made my blood boil. Letting out an angry growl I threw one of my shirts across the room. A soft knocking at the door caused me to turn around to see Sal standing there awkwardly fiddling with his hands.

"Hey Larry Face. Feeling any better?" He asked coming in and sitting on a beanbag chair. I flopped myself down onto the other across from him. "No. She's been going through this shit and I fucking accuse her of cheating? I'm such an asshole!" I scolded myself. "Larry you didn't actually accuse her you just thought it once. And we just talked about that she didn't seem bothered." He explained. But I still felt like shit. How could this all be going on and I had no idea?

"I think right now she's was slightly worried about you being angry she didn't tell you sooner." Sal continued in a soft voice. "Shit, I know I've got to learn to handle my anger better. But I hate that they did that to her. I want them to pay ya know? That asshole deserved to fucking pay for what he put her through. And how could her family just let this happen?" I ranted finally pulling on my Sanity's Fall shirt. "I don't want her going back man. I can't let that happen. I won't." I told him as I struggled to hold back tears. The pain of realizing what she had been feeling and holding back was really starting to get to me. I hated that she had to go through that alone. "That's something to talk about with her." He responded pointing to the doorway where (y/n) stood.

"Hey babe! How are you feeling?" I asked jumping up and walking over to her. She wrapped her arms around me resting her head against my chest. "I'm sorry to just intrude on your day with Sal and probably ruin your Saturday." She mumbled into my shirt. I pulled her a few feet away from me to meet her eyes. "You have no reason to apologize none of this is your fault. You definitely haven't ruined anything." I told her sternly. "Yeah (Y/n) your safety is much more important than us playing music or video games all day." Sal added. She gave us a weak smile that just shattered my heart.

I sat down on the beanbag chair again pulling her into my lap. I burried my face in her shoulder. I was almost definitely holding her tighter than I should have been but I wanted to hold her in my arms and protect her from anymore pain. Without even realizing it I had started crying. The thought of what had happened burned in my mind forcing me to let it all spill out. The tears just kept falling I couldn't control it. "Larry I'll be ok I promise." She whispered her hands finding their way into my hair. I pulled her even closer. She shouldn’t be the one comforting me right now I knew hag but here she was trying to anyways. "You can't go back there. Please don't go back there. Please." I begged her not moving my head from her shoulder.

"I can stay here tonight but I'll eventually have to go back there babe." She responded. "You can stay here for as long as you want love. But if you insist on going back can I go with you? At least the first night you're there?" I asked. There was no way in hell they were getting away with this. Definitely not a chance in hell she would keep living there. She pulled away just enough to give me a kiss.

"Your mom wants me to go to the cops. Will you and Sal come too?" She asked. I nodded as did Sal. "We're here for you (y/n)." He pointed out. "Thanks guys. I don't know what I'd do without you." She smiled wiping her eyes. "You'll never have to find out." Sal said making me nod in agreement. "You should stay here for at least a month." I told her only half joking. She smiled slightly shaking her head. "I didn't bring any of my clothes Lar." She pointed out. "You know I fucking love it when you wear my clothes so that's not a problem. And we'll go over to your place together to pick up your stuff." I suggested really hoping she'd just give in and stay here. Hell she could always move in. Maybe I'll run that by mom later.

*Time skip to later that day*

My mom, Sal, (y/n), and I exited the police station after what can only be described as a few stressful hours of them taking (Y/n)'s statement. Sal and (Y/n) we're walking upfront talking about something. My mom and I walked a bit behind.

"I'm proud of you Larry."

"Why what did I do?"

"You've just grown up a lot. You've got a girlfriend you clearly love a lot. And being with her through something like this? That shows how responsible you've become."

"Mom you're not gonna get all emotional on me are you?"

"Joke all you want Lar Bear but I'm proud of the young man you're becoming" (that just gave me ptsd to even type)

"About (Y/n), I was uh wondering if she could stay us? For a while at least?"

"Of course she's staying with us! There's no way she's going back to that place."

"Thanks mom. You're fucking awesome you know."

"Watch your mouth Lar. And yes I know. But you have to promise me that there will be no funny business if I let her move in with you otherwise you’ll be sleeping In the treehouse every night."

I couldn't help but smile at my moms laughter towards her own joke. It had become such a warm and comforting sound. "Of course mom. Thank you so much." I promised pulling her into a hug. We caught up to Sal and (Y/n) who were discussing something in class.

So there’s part one possibly. Let me know if you think I should turn it into a series on something like Archive or Wattpad.

~Lex💛

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queerlyglittering · 5 years ago

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LETTER BOY UPDATE

ok! This is long overdue lmao. but until the other day I was feeling a bit mopey and sad and also just generally tired and didn’t wanna talk about it BUT THEN E X T R E M E L Y LONG POST AHEAD

so lemme see where I last left off re: Letter Boy.... ok so like, to recap: there for a while we’d barely been talking. He didn’t have time to write to me most of the time, and then half the time when we did write to each other our letters kept getting lost in the mail, etc etc. I know I’d been like pretty obsessive over the whole letter-writing thing for a while so I thought I’d been pushing him away and like at one point I wrote him a goodbye letter? Like I was really out here like “I’m so sorry for bothering you so much, I’ll leave you alone now” like what sort of passive-aggressive bitchy monster lmao. And then eventually I was like nah fuck that, that’s not ok and I’m not leaving things like that, so I wrote him an apology and we kinda got back to talking a bit. And then he finally wrote me back! And his letter was deeply personal and emotional and I cried! He came out as ace! He told me he loved me! The absolute drama of it all! (Which it turns out, at that point he didn’t mean it in terms of like, romantic love, just like... he really cared about me as a person and was glad that he felt comfortable to write about his experiences re: being ace to me and it was sort of cathartic. BUT THEN!) So I wrote back almost immediately, telling him that I loved him too and that he was valid and shit lmao. That was all back in late May/early June I think... tbh I don’t remember what happened over the summer, lemme go back and reread our messages? b/c I know neither of us has physically written to the other since then. Ok so we messaged a bit about potentially meeting up at a Pride festival, either there in Houston or up in Dallas, but the timing just generally didn’t work out in our favor for either event, so we wound up not going. And then we kinda sporadically messaged each other here and there, usually when he was stressed with school or I was stressed with work, etc, but we barely talked off and on for a couple months. Then I started my current job, and my sleep cycle got outta whack for a few weeks, and that’s when things started to get interesting again lmao

ok so sometime near the end of August, he had like a minor depressive episode or something in the middle of the night and messaged me at like 4 am saying he felt “gross and sad” and I slept through that because it was Saturday but I wound up waking up at like 6:30 out of habit from getting up for work, and I ended up calling him and we talked for a while and I vented about some stuff in my life too and then we both went back to sleep lmao. And after that things got a little more active in terms of communication; like y’all know me, I’m a Needy Bitch, so of course I wound up messaging him like once every couple days or so whenever I started to miss him and needed Attention. Like it kinda started with a tarot reading I got, just a standard past/present/future 3-card reading, but she pulled the Lovers for my present, so I mean.... and basically she said something about there being a person in my life whom I had feelings for, and who reciprocated those feelings, but there was a communications disconnect, and the relationship was getting to a point where it could begin to go stale, and that we shouldn’t block ourselves off from progress. After that reading I reached out and messaged him again, and we ended up literally speaking every day for a week. Like I think I’d made a post about that on here about not messaging him for the 8th day in a row and thought I was exaggerating but then I went back and counted and IT ACTUALLY WAS THE 8TH DAY, WOW AUDREY, YOU’RE OFFICIALLY ANNOYING. So I tried to get better about leaving him alone lmao but I started messaging him a bunch of stuff about my singing, because my old community had a brief resurgence in September. and he said he wanted to sing something with me someday and I’m 🥰🥰

So then at one point I had mentioned coming down to Houston for the weekend of the SFA/Sam Houston State game (which was last weekend, 10/5-6) with my friend, and ditching the game to hang out with him instead. I kinda let the subject drop for a couple weeks because at that point it was almost a month out and I wasn’t 100% sure I was gonna be able to go so I didn’t want to get both our hopes up. But then work started being really shitty and dicking me around about my schedule change that was supposed to have happened once I got out of training, and my home life wasn’t gr8 either, so I kinda latched onto that weekend trip as like a bright spot, or something to hope for. Something to keep me going. And he’d basically forgotten about it, which is fine, except I wound up springing it back on him at the last minute lmao. But then my friend who I was supposed to go with (because I can’t drive so she was gonna drive us down there) was like ‘nah I’m not going to the game, I have no money for tickets.’ So I was like well shit, there goes my happy thing. And I talked to her about it and basically begged her to just go down to Houston for the weekend anyway, I’d get us a hotel and everything, because I needed this. So she was like ‘alright, look at hotels.’ But then HER friend got very sick, like in-the-hospital having-mysterious-seizures sick, and she went to go stay with her in the hospital for a few days because the girl’s husband was being a dick about it (it turned out to just be an infection from a contact lens that got stuck in her eye and like melted??? idk. but it was BAD AND SCARY). But that was like Wednesday-Friday of the week we were supposed to go to Houston on that weekend and I wasn’t sure she’d be up to going. So I asked last minute if she still wanted to go or if I should cancel the hotel (not realizing that it was too late to cancel it anyway lmao RIP) and she said ‘ok sure but I wanna bring my kid, since I’ve been away from her for 3 whole days.’ I was like that’s fine, I already thought you were gonna bring her lol. So we wound up going down there on Saturday but we left a bit later than we’d meant to, and by the time we got to town, Letter Boy was already at work. So I missed him that day. The three of us (me, friend & kiddo) wound up swimming in the hotel pool and then ordering Chinese takeout for dinner so that was pretty fun.

Then the next day, Sunday! Letter Boy called as we were checking out of the hotel to try and figure out what the plan was, where we could meet up, etc. We decided to meet at the mall nearby, since it was an easy landmark for all parties, and we could find each other pretty easily there. He took me (and my friend and her kid, though apparently that wasn’t the plan, and he would’ve preferred to spend time with just me; she even gave me the option to not have the two of them meet us at the restaurant and I decided not to take it because i was a nervous anxious coward lmao) out to lunch at this Korean place in town, where he loves to eat. We played a few rounds of a card game and talked and ate and it was great fun. Then he had to bail and go to work, and we had an interesting goodbye because I’d been out here trying to respect his personal space and all because from what he’d said in his coming-out letter, it sounded very much like he was touch-averse - but then he hugged me goodbye? and kept coming back for more hugs?! like “one more? ok just one more? and one more?” like nonstop for a good five minutes lmao. I was a bit confused but I loved it (my primary love language is physical touch; hugs are my kryptonite. And he gives AMAZING hugs. like I may have even actually dreamed about his hugs before I ever got to experience one, but that’s whole other post lol). Anyway so after that my friend and I went to hang out at her brother’s in-laws’ place because they lived in the area lol. Letter Boy had asked me to message him once I got there, so I did. I told him I wished I could’ve spent more time with him one-on-one, and he said “well if you’re still in town maybe you can sneak away when I get my break later” So I basically said hell yes, just tell me where to meet you, lol. We wound up meeting up at Starbucks and getting coffee and continuing to talk and hang out for the half hour of his break, and he really didn’t want to leave when it was time for him to go. Like he actually contemplated kidnapping me and bringing me to work with him lmao. If my ride hadn’t already been on her way, I would’ve gone with him in a heartbeat. I didn’t want to leave either. And he told me he loved me again! 🥰🥰🥰 It was sappy and sweet and just aghhhh <3

So that was a week ago today! And there’s been some interesting developments since then too. Starting off with that Sunday night when I got home, I’d had too much coffee (starbucks messed up my order and had to remake it so I ended up drinking both lmao, big mistake). So I was over-caffeinated and v emotional and couldn’t sleep so I started writing out all my anxious confused feelings in letter form, and wound up just linking Letter Boy to the Google Doc I’d been writing in. This was at almost 2 AM. Apparently I woke him up and he read it and replied to me over messenger and basically we talked about how like. when he first said he loved me in the letter, he didn’t necessarily mean it in a romantic context but it was definitely more than just platonic and he wasn’t sure how to quantify that. But now that we’d met in person, and got to spend some actual time together, he felt a little differently and that he was “not 100% sure but WAAAY more than 50% sure” that he loved me romantically, because partially because he’s ace, he’s just kinda unsure about romantic relationships in general and he’s reluctant to commit to them because the sex thing always becomes an issue. I reassured him that I completely understand and respect his orientation and would never ask him to change that aspect of himself or do anything that would make him uncomfortable, and he seemed immensely relieved. At this point I’m honestly not even sure how much of his feelings are genuinely for/about me, and how much of them are just some sort of general euphoria at having someone basically validate his orientation and his existence, because he’d spent so long being mocked and tormented by friends and lovers alike, and basically just feeling broken and worthless. And I completely understand that reaction. I’m not even sure I care if that’s all this is, if it comes down to it; I’m happy to be here to love and support him and make sure he never feels less than whole and valid again, no matter my context in his life. I just want him to be happy. I’d love to be the one who makes him happy, but if ultimately that is not my part in his life, then so be it. I’m at peace with it.

Anyway so that was Sunday night, we talked a little bit on Monday and Tuesday and then like,, nothing at all for a few days? And so of course my immediate instinct is that I came on too strong and pushed him away, just because he doesn’t want to talk to me every day?? so I got all mopey and sad and weird, because I thought I’d scared him off and lost him and idk. Also I was in a funk b/c my hormones are being wacky this week; I don’t really get periods per se with my IUD, but sometimes I’ll get phantom cramps and/or mood swings, etc. but this past week i’ve been spotting and cramping AND moody af, so that’s been fun. So I’d been all weird and sad and shit, and thinking he didn’t want to talk to me = he didn’t want me, and I was so paranoid and afraid because I still think this whole thing is too good to be true and I can’t trust it. I know it’s silly and far too early to be serious and it’ll never last and probably won’t end well. I know that it’s fun and easy and idealistic and won’t stand up to reality or practicality, when it eventually has to face them. So I’ve been bracing myself for that ending ever since it began. And I know three days isn’t very long, but after having a whole conversation about how we love each other, and how we love each other, it felt like an eternity. BUT THEN!!!!!!!!!

So ok, we did talk briefly on Friday, in passing. but it was a very short little conversation; the only major thing to come out of it was a further confirmation that yes, he’s serious about coming up here to see me. BUT THEN Saturday night (10/12), he got home from seeing Eric Andre perform live, and he was hanging out with his sister and drinking and generally being a goof, and he messaged me! UPDATE: It’s now sunday 10/20 and I’m still writing this. idk it’s been a lot, everything else in my life has been rough lately, idk. im not feeling as positively about this as i was before, but i’ll keep writing the update. I’ve written too much

SO! Anyway. he came home from the comedy show thing, and he was hanging out with his sister watching some Japanese reality show and drinking, and he messaged me out of the blue. Funny thing I’ve noticed is that he doesn’t generally reach out to me first and he’s not too expressive generally but whenever he’s intoxicated in some way, be it alcohol or pot or even benadryl, he gets really effusively, gushily mushy and sweet. So on this occasion he was drunk, or at least tipsy, and that means he was being extra affectionate and dumb lmao. He started out telling me about his night and then hit me with the “I wish you were heeeerrrrreeeeeeee” lol. And he said something about how one day when he graduates, we should get a place together, where we can “be non-binary and own our dreams” (the second time he’s mentioned possibly being nonbinary to me - or possibly third time, he said something in passing about being confused about gender roles, in a context that implied ‘in relation to himself.’ meanwhile I haven’t actually said anything at all to him about me being nonbinary, he just kinda assumed b/c i have a rly butch-y looking haircut rn lmao. but like.. he ain’t wrong tho 😂 so that’s a conversation that we need to actually have sometime.) He was like “it’s sorta romantic that you live up there and I live down here and we’re so far apart and we have to just kinda pine after each other basically” and i was like oh good, I’m not the only one pining lmao. But then he asked me to come with him when he moves to Japan to teach English there, sometime after he finishes his degree. Which like, I wish I could go with him, and I know that if we’re still talking at that point/especially if we actually get together, it’s gonna be hard to be that far away from him and I’m gonna miss him. But it’s just eminently not practical. I don’t have any college degree and I don’t speak a lick of Japanese, there’s no way I can teach English with him; and there aren’t many other jobs there for Americans. And he won’t be making enough to support both of us on a teacher’s salary, i know that much. So that’s where I start to get a bit disillusioned. Like I know it was just a drunk suggestion out of a desperation to not be apart anymore, and despite the fact that a drunk mouth often speaks sober thoughts, I know better than to assume that either of those offers to live together were any kind of a promise, and I have no intention to hold him to either of them. But in the moment I very much got my hopes up and I let myself get really excited and I regret that now lmao because like I knew even then that it wasn’t real. and now i’m just sorta disappointed because I’ve had to confront the fact that he’s very much a daydreamer and I, for all my delusional fantasizing, am at heart more practical than that. I don’t like to hope for things that I know can’t happen, because it’s just setting myself up for future devastation. And he just wants to hope and wish for everything, and maybe some of it will come true and maybe some of it won’t, and he just sort of seems unbothered by either outcome. For all my hopeless romanticism and my overemotional nature, I can’t bring myself to do that, to hope without expectation. I don’t know how. it’s so antithetical to my understanding of the world. And it just serves to highlight another of the many ways in which we are almost complete opposites - which isn’t a bad thing! but it can make some things harder. like handling distance, or hoping for the future, or just communication in general.

but anyway! back to drunken happiness lmao. he started saying really sappy shit like how he wants to be there for me when I’m feeling down, and he wants to have big dumb fights with me just so he can make it up to me with a big grand gesture like flowers or edible arrangements or something. and then he wrote me a drunken limerick and it was actually surprisingly good and really cute lmao. and he said he wanted to cuddle me. and then we got into a mini-fight over which one of us was cuter lmao. and he called me queen and said that he just wants to like. make me food and take care of me and stuff lol. and that he doesn’t even HAVE a type but somehow I am exactly his type? which is still fucking me up, that’s the sweetest shit i’ve ever heard. (because i know what he means, he’s dated around quite a bit with different types and genders of people and stuff because he didn’t really know how to handle his asexuality and of course the myth is that you just haven’t found the right person yet, so he just kept trying and feeling broken and then here I am, the first person he’s found to be accepting and understanding of that part of him, and still want him and care for him and be all lovey-dovey and shit with him, and he just wants me to be happy in return.) meanwhile I of course have several types, including different types for girls and guys etc, but he’s hitting all my boxes - tall, handsome in a kind of adorkable way, smart, funny, sarcastic, sweet, patient, sensitive, similar tastes in media and similar political alignments, queer. plus he’s just cute as fuck. like out of my league cute lmao but again, that’s exactly my type OTL so like I told him that, and that I just wanna like. hold him and be with him and help him be successful in whatever he wants in life. and he freaked out and was like ugh you should just come here rn i’ll hide you under my bed if i have to and i was like i wish i could :( and he was like THAT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH AUDREY COME HERE and i was like OK IM LEAVING ON FOOT SEE U IN 3 DAYS and it was funny. and we flung a bunch of heart emojis at each other. and then he made a passing reference to his mood swings and i kinda ended up ignoring it because i sent a message at the same time but in my head i was like boy have you even MET me, 1. the swings have always been my favorite piece of playground equipment, 2. i’ve got mood swings down to a fine art, and 3. i’m more worried about whether you can handle mine. i’m pretty sure i can take yours in stride lmao. and then there was more talk of cuddling, and HE STARTED HEART REACTING ALL MY MESSAGES and i’m just like WTF STOP IT THAT IS THE CUTEST SHIT <3333 and then he sent me a dollar by accident? and I sent him the “i love you bitch, i ain’t never gonna stop loving you bitch” vine lmao

and apparently this whole time he was still sitting around with his sister? lmao because he said she told him she approved of me after i sent that vine 😂 and she apparently likes my hair! which is good lol (reminder I need to post some pics of it on here, I posted selfies to fb but i don’t think i’ve posted on here yet). his sister is also bi lmao and seems cool in general (and also from what i’ve seen creeping her fb, she’s REALLY GORGEOUS, like it runs in the family, these fuckers should be models, it’s ridiculous really) so having her approval is v nice. like at least one member of his family approves of me! now to work on the rest 😂😂 and then he was talking about he was gonna get high also (despite being already drunk) and i was joking with him about bogarting the weed and he was like “when we live together I’ll share my weed with you” lmao but he said it with such certainty, like it was just a given. not an if, but a when. which threw me for enough of a loop. But then he started in on this fantasy scenario where like it’s late at night and we can’t sleep so he makes me sushi by hand, and we feed each other with our chopsticks (he was impressed that I already knew how to use them lmao) and we sit on the couch arm in arm watching reruns of cheers and laughing way too loudly and fall asleep in each other’s arms as the sun comes up outside but we don’t have anything to do the next day so it’s ok. and it was the sweetest most romantic shit I’ve literally ever heard in my LIFE, like it sounds like actual heaven and i was crying happy tears at this point lmao. just 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 like in that moment i felt so fucking loved i couldn’t even speak and y’all know i’m never speechless, i literally can’t fucking shut up most of the time lmao. and like at that point his phone was dying so he went to plug it in and go to bed and I did the same because it was like 2:30 in the morning but i was just giddy with affection and couldn’t sleep.

anyway so the next day (sunday) i had a party thing to go to that was really fun but i’m socially awkward so i texted him a lot as a crutch. and then the next day (monday) he had given me “permission to bug the crap out of him” so i messaged him a lot throughout my work day because it was an unusually crappy day anyway. and the day after that (tuesday) we messaged about the democratic debates and stuff. and then i kinda tried to give him some space, because i felt like i was smothering him, and i made it all the way to friday evening before i caved in and messaged him again. like i don’t wanna bother him by messaging him every day, i know he’s busy. whenever he doesn’t actively have class, he’s got homework or he’s working (which usually means he’s driving and can’t talk). but i’m like so addicted to the affection i get from him, it’s bad. my anxiety just keeps building and getting worse if i try to avoid messaging him and I don’t make it very far before i end up giving in and messaging him for a hit of that good ol’ dopamine. so we ended up catching each other up on the events of the latter part of our week, and talking about sushi preferences. and he apparently has never had eel?? like that was probably the 2nd or 3rd thing i tried lmao 😂 but then to be fair I had a boyfriend at the time who was very interested in making sure i tried new things, and who had been stationed briefly in japan so he knew a lot about sushi and wanted to show off. anyway Letter Boy is like me, he prefers salmon by a wide margin. and we talked about how he’d tried squid and did not enjoy it, and that turned into a mini battle to see who could post the weirdest squid-themed gif lmao. and then i sent him the playlist but he still hasn’t listened to it yet I don’t think. but he also wants me to write him a poem lmao so that’s something i should start working on i guess. but idk i’m not feeling it rn but that’s not his fault.

and then today happened and i had another incident with my mother and her narcissistic bullshit and i was feeling like shit so i reached out to my best friend to kinda get some validation that i’m not actually the narcissistic one (which felt shitty and manipulative, like if i have to ask i’m probably at least a LITTLE narcissistic. but then again if i actually was narcissistic i guess i wouldn’t even have that doubt? like i would just be certain that i wasn’t and not second-guess it because i wouldn’t care? and like making their victims believe that THEY are the narcissistic ones and the abuser isn’t, is a classic hallmark of gaslighting and narcissistic abuse? but i still felt like shit about it idk). And I also reached out to Letter Boy because while I love my best friend more than words can say, like she’s my sister-from-another-mother, Letter Boy has kind of become my comfort person. like i always used to write letters to him whenever I was going through a rough spot, as a distraction. and usually I’ll message him whenever I’m starting to feel anxious or sad, but lately it’s gotten to where I’ll start to feel anxious and sad whenever I don’t message him regularly. like i’ve said, it’s getting bad and i’m worried about it. like that’s not a good sign of a healthy relationship. and it’s nice to have some positivity in my life, especially given all the negative shit i’m constantly surrounded by. but that doesn’t mean this relationship is healthy or good for either of us. so that’s yet another thing on my list of shit that’s making me anxious lol. but anyway he tried to be supportive when i told him about what i’m dealing with in re: my mother, and encouraged me to get out, but he just seemed kinda generally lost. like he didn’t know how to deal with it. and if that’s because he’s been fortunate enough that in his life, that kind of behaviour is not something he’s experienced, then I’m happy for him. but he said some stuff about not really believing in labels, but specifically in regards to mental health issues? which like. that’s all fine and good in terms of gender and sexuality, but with mental health, that’s a medical issue. you kind of have to have names for things in that context so that you can treat them. and i get that he was kinda trying to be encouraging to me, to not let my mother make me think of myself as a narcissist, and to not feel so shitty about myself in terms of like my depression and anxiety and stuff. but it just felt like it was sort of coming from a place of very neurotypical privilege and misunderstanding, and it was sort of unintentionally invalidating. and then he brought up the idea of us living together again, once he graduates, but he said it in a slightly more realistic way which i should have been happier with but that only wound up disappointing me. he said “maybe when i graduate we can get a place...” instead of like his certainty from earlier. and i said i wish, and he said that he wishes too and we should both hope for it and maybe it’ll happen. and i’m just like... hope is a dangerous thing for my emotional health, i don’t want to hope for something that isn’t going to happen. and he basically said that i need to learn to hope without expectation, and set small goals as baby steps toward that bigger dream, and i’m just like. i don’t understand but thank you lmao. and that’s where we left off this evening. and i’ve been crying, about shit with my mom and my life in general and worrying about all this bullshit with letter boy and how like a week ago we were blissfully happy with each other and now things are feeling increasingly less certain and i have this burning feeling in the back of my mind that he’s not gonna actually show up for the Syrup Festival in 3 weeks - which again, i’ve pinned all my hopes to, it’s the light at the end of my newest tunnel. and i’m so nervous because i want to show him everything and let him get a feel for where i live (and why i feel trapped here lmao) and yet at the same time i don’t know how to handle it because i don’t think he’ll feel the same way about it as i do. and i’m still not sure he’ll even come. because despite him telling me repeatedly that he wants to come, i can’t help but feel that either something will come between us within that time, or he’ll just end up having to work, or something, and he won’t actually come. i’m so terrified he won’t want to come. I’m terrified i’m pushing him away. because this whole thing, ever since we started writing letters, has felt mostly one-sided, like i’m out here sharing everything with him and flinging my love and attention at him, and getting scraps in return, just enough to keep me coming back for more. and i don’t know if he’s stringing me along or if he’s serious. he is a bit flighty. I don’t want him to fly away. but i don’t want to hold him down, either.

i don’t know.

#personal #letter boy #letter boy update #long post #ignore me #so anyway that's like.... the last 6 months almost lmao #all the ups and the downs #this has been over a week in the writing and i'm sorry #i got lazy with updating the dates throughout the post

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new-to-this123 · 6 years ago

Text

Winter Formal

As Per requested

😍😍😍 I adored how you wrote Zach in that imagine you posted the other day like srsly so good! Can i request one too? Where they have lockers nxt to each other and they get talking and he asks her to be his date too the winter dance? Thx so much you rock xx

Zach X Reader

Warning: none

Word count” : 1474

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You hated moving. You hated starting at a new school, especially late in the year, it was December. You were so use to it though, but it's never made it easier. Your parents were both in the army and had moved across the country and back since you were born. You never lasted longer than one year in one place. It made it hard to have friends or keep it touch. Your goal this year, since it was senior year was to try and make friends that you could have into university, and after.

You walked into liberty high. It looked like every other school you had gone to. Lockers lined the halls, there were obvious cliques, the jocks, the band students, cheerleaders, nerds. You laughed and tried to find the locker you had been assigned. You walked through the halls looking at the locker numbers. You looked up and saw a crowd of boys all wearing blue and white liberty high Letterman jackets.

“great just my luck, this whole school and I have to be beside the jocks” you thought as you walked up to your locker. It was being blocked by a brown eyed, brown haired guy leaning up against it while his friend was in his locker, the one Right beside yours.

“Um excuse me, you're kinda blocking my locker” you said to the jock.

“I'm sorry pretty lady!” the good looking jock said as he got off your locker.

“Zach you have yourself a good looking locker neighbor” a different jock with dirty blond hair and Well dressed said as he walked closer to you.

“I'm Bryce Walker, you must be new here because I've never seen you around”

“hi I'm Y/N Y/L/N and ya I'm new.”

“I'm Montgomery De La Cruz, but you can call me Monty.” the brown haired jock who had been leaning up on your locker said.

“hi nice to meet you Monty.”.

You turned towards your locker and opened it. You went to put your text books in there when you dropped one.

Your locker neighbor bent down and picked it up for you.

“I'm Zach Dempsey by the way” he said handing you your book.

You were lost looking at his beauty. He had brown eyes that were so deep and easy to get lost in. He had a smile that made you want to smile and hair that made you want to run your hands through it. He was the definition of a Greek god!

“thank you” you said smiling.

“can I see your schedule? I mean maybe we have classes together and I can show you around” Zach asked you nervously

You handed him your schedule and he smiled.

“looks like you'll be stuck with me all year we have all the same classes” he smiled.

“awesome” you smiled.

“can I show you to class?” he asked.

“wow Zach hogging the new girl all for yourself!” Monty said with all the other guys agreeing with him.

“hey she's my locker neighbor and it's the least I can do since she'll have to see you guys all the time too, and that's painful enough.” he said as he walked away with you trailing behind him.

“don't mind them, they're disrespectful towards girls” Zach said walking beside you

“thanks, and it's OK, liberty is my 15th school. So I'm use to crude guys.”

“wow fifteenth school??” Zach asked surprised

“yes both my parents are in the army and we move around… A lot!” you replied.

“This is us” Zach said pointing to a classroom.

You both walked in.

“come sit with me” Zach said leading you towards the middle of the classroom.

You spent all morning following zach from class to class and sitting with him in every one. He was a really sweet guy.

“hey Y/N! What are you doing for lunch?” Zach asked as you were both walking towards your lockers.

“nothing” you answered

“well how about you come sit with me?”.

“hey pretty lady” Monty said leaning up Against the locker next to you.

“hello Monty!” you sighed

“bro she hasn't even been here a whole day and you're already annoying to her! New record!” a handsome blue eyed jock said Wrapping his arm over yet another blue eyed beauty.

If anything this school has lots of good looking guys. You thought to yourself.

“it is a new record!” Zach said grabbing your backpack.

“that's Jeff and Scott by the way! Two of the best baseball players liberty has along with Monty!” Zach explained leading you towards the cafeteria, still holding your bag.

“you know I can carry my own things right?” you laughed

“I know but ive got an extra hand so why not let me?” Zach laughed

“what's this winter formal that's posted everywhere?” you ask Zach as you sit with the jocks inbetween zach and Monty.

“it's the winter dance, we go pretty far out for dances their pretty nice. Leah loves going!” Jeff amswered as he playfully elbowed Leah in the arm!

“ya maybe you and I should go together” Bryce stated

“only in your dreams Bryce!” you answered. The whole table started “ooooh-ing and buuuuurn-ing. You laughed, Zach laughed Bryce was not impressed.

You finished your lunch and walked off with Zach.

“so have you ever gone to the winter formal?” you asked him.

“of course, in this town school dances are the the only excitement in town” he laughed.

“it must be cool to know everyone though”

“meh it's ok. I guess. I don't know Ive never known anything different.” he answered.

You went through your day following and talking to Zach getting to know him. It was the end of the day and you were at your locker saying bye to Zach.

“so I'll see you tomorrow locker neighbir” you said

“hey do you drive?”.zach asked

“nope I walk” you replied

“can I give you a ride home?” he asked.

“Are you sure?”

“of course, come on.” he said directing you towards the school parking lot.

“you drive and Audi????” you asked looking at his car in awe.

“yes” he answered nervously

“did zachy-poo not tell you that he came from money??” Monty questioned in a baby voice walking towards his jeep parked right beside Zach.

You got into Zach's car ignoring Monty.

“so you come from money eh?” you asked

“ya. I didn't think it was important” Zach stated coldly

“it's not important, obviously your friends think it is.though”

Zach drove you home and you hugged him goodbye.

“I'll pick you up tomorrow morning” Zach said as you got out the car.

“OK thank you” you answered and walked towards your house.

The next morning you woke up to text from a number you didn't know

TEXT

random number: hey I hope this doesn't sound creepy but I got your number from the school, I may have snuck in and searched for it and I forgot to ask you for it yesterday. Y/N: who is this? random number: oh sorry it's Zach Dempsey! Y/N: oh haha hey good morning and no not creepy I thought the same thing last night 😂 Zach😍: how was your sleep beautiful? Y/N: It was good thanks, looking forward to spend another day with you :) Zach😍: speaking of which, I'm on my way :) Y/N: see you soon

You got dressed and ran downstairs and out to Zach's car.

“you looked tired”.you stated as you got into his car

“ya I can't say I slept much” he answered placing his hand on your knee as he drove to school.

“why didn't you sleep?”

“oh I was just doing things with the guys!”

“all night on a school night?”

“you'll see”.he answered as he shot you his killer sexy smile.

You got to school and Zach parked in between Monty and Bryce.

“good morning pretty lady!” Monty said seeing you.

“good morning Montgomery” you smiled

You all walked towards the entrance of the school. When you walked in Bryce, Justin and a few other jocks you didn't know we're all making a pathway to direct you down a hallway.

“what's going on?” you asked Zach

“you'll see”.monty answered with a sly smile.

As you turned the corner you saw Jeff and Scott holding a big banner that said

“Hey I Just Met You And This is Crazy but Will You Go To Winter Formal With Me?”

Monty handed Zach a bouquet of roses. Zach turned to you and handed you the bouquet.

“so will you go to the Winter formal with me?”

With all big smile on your face you took the bouquet and wrapped your arms around Zach's neck and said

“YES!”

Everyone around started cheering!

“thanks for saying yes Y/N”

“thanks for asking Zach!”

#justin foley #scott reed #bryce walker #montgomery de la cruz #monty de la cruz #marcus cole #jeff atkins #ryan shaver #alex standall #tyler down #clay jensen #zach dempsey #zach dempsey x reader #tony padilla #13rw #13 reasons why #13rw imagine #thirteen reasons why

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simplechicwithacrazedheart · 7 years ago

Text

Into the Great Unknown (Tom Holland x Spanish Reader

A/N: This may become a series, depending on the reactions! This was inspired by his Instagram story in which he found a dog with Harrison and took him to the vet. It has been so long since I’ve written anything so excuse the bad writing. I think the bit with Tom at the end makes the whole thing worth it, but I am biased. Let me know if you want more of these! Also, I wrote this in one-go, no proof reading. So sorry for any mistakes.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Words: 2,606

[y/n] = your name

[y/s/c] = your skin color

“Babosa” = A Spanish word for dumbass/idiot (female)

*********************************

Thrill. That’s what rushed through her veins when the gate was left open. Her heart no longer pumped the blood that coursed through her, no, no, no. What pumped her blood was the sense of wild adventure that accompanied the Great Unknown. This is pushed her to bolt past the slightly ajar gate when no one was insight. The future was her to take hold and by damn, she was going to take hold of it. She was going to decide her path. She was going to run loose and take it all in.

All by herself.

The sun lowered into the sky, cars passed by. No one batted a single eye as she roamed around trying to take it all in. At least she hadn’t noticed anyone staring. The street lights flicked on chasing away the natural light of the sun. There she was.

Alone in the dark.

Hungry. In the sudden burst of adrenaline that had overtaken her, she had ignored the breakfast that had been prepared for her.

Lost. In trying to take everything in, she had gotten turned around. Everything and nothing looked familiar. The people who walked past her only seemed to hastily walk away from her. Unable to understand her cries for help. Unable to understand that all she wanted was to go home. In the end, she found it logical to lay under a tree and sleep for the night. For not much else could be done.

She awoke with the sun and began her search for the journey home once more.

The attempt was moot and she couldn’t remember the last time she had gone this long without food and the restless night of sleep plagued her mind. She missed her overprotective mother, who smothered her senseless. But, those smothering had made her feel loved. Cared for. It made her forget about how she had been abandoned, left in a box in an alleyway when she was young. These last few hours only brought up those memories. Her heart twisting, whimpers echoing within her throat yet never slipping past her lips. Why had she run out? She had the perfect life. A mother who spoiled her, who brought her ice cream, who let her sleep in her bed, who taught her English and Spanish, who taught her how to love again. Why had she been foolish enough to go out without her, especially when they had only recently moved into a new area?

It was in the series of depressing thought of resentment towards oneself did someone, or some people, approached her.

“Are you lost love?”

***

[y/n] walked down the sidewalk, hands deep in the coat pocket fiddling with the new set of keys and a brand new tag with a grocery bag dangling on her forearm as she hummed to herself, lost in her thoughts. Never had she planned to move out of the neighborhood she was raised in, must less to this section of Kingston. Not that it was a bad area, in fact it was quite beautiful to her, but that was besides the point. The point had been was that she was in a new area now and had a new number. This was a new life and the moment she got to her new home she would update her p-

Few things could interrupted [y/n]’s thought process. Seeing her gate pushed open did not only that but stopped her heart. Feet pounded the ground as she ran past the gate. Maybe the Babosa was inside the house by some miracle or in the backyard asleep under the tree. The backyard was as empty as [y/n]’s lungs. The air escaping her lungs, her lungs themselves burning, pulsing even. Her heart jackhammering against her chest. Keys jammed into the front lock, opening it yanking the door open, the grocery bag dropping to the floor. “Laika?? Babosa! Come here!” Silence. Not even the sound of trotting. Stepping in the house, disbelief coursing through her veins. “Laika! This isn’t funny!” Voice thick, eyes blurring. “Laika!”

[y/s/c] hands grabbed the keys that had been dropped into the bowl on the table stand by the door and ran out the house, barely managing to lock the door behind her.

***

“LAIKA!” [y/n]’s voice was raw, hoarse. It hurt to speak, to breathe, to run. She had been outside for about twelve hours, running around calling out her precious dog’s name. “Laika! Please! Vega pa ca!” (Come here!) She cried. She stopped everyone who even glanced at her. Showing photos of her lost german shepard mix lab until her phone had died. When it did, she would describe Laika down to the little scar along her left paw from when she was abandoned as a puppy.

No luck. That night [y/n] slept on her porch hoping that her dog would find her way back home by some miracle. That perhaps that God would answer her prayers. That all those times when her family would drag her to church Sunday morning would mean that she was in his good grace. That he would grant her this one miracle. She prayed in Spanish, English, and Spanish once more before sleep claimed her.

In the morning, she grabbed her phone from the charger and went out searching once more. She resumed her shouting, using her determination to find the only thing that made her home feel like home, pushing down the tears, pushing down the cold gripping fear that she had been runned over. That she had been stolen. While running around, [y/n] called every pound, every shelter. Her phone dinged and [y/n] unlocked it at the speed of light. Praying that the instagram notification was about her dog. It had not been. [y/f] had just send her a comment saying to check out Tom Holland’s instagram story. How it would “make her day better”. [y/n] wanted to punch her friend in the face so much at that moment. Seeing some actor, no matter how much she adored his personality, smile, and kind eyes, would not improve her day. Yet, she still tapped over the small circle at the top of her instagram feed.

“Bit of an odd message, walking around Kingston and we found this dog….so if this is your dog, please let us know we’re gonna take her to the vet to make sure she’s all ok.”

You had missed some part of what Tom Holland had said due to him revealing the dog.

Laika.

Laika was alive. And wagging her pinche cola (fucking tail). Tears ran down your cheeks as relief replaced the cold gripping fear that you had lost your piece of home forever. It was only after the story ended that you realized that you had no clue which vet he was referring too.

It was a long shot but you had to try. Your finger tapped the “send message” button and you tapped as if your life depended on it, having to correct misspellings due to trembling hands.

I know you have no reason to believe me. But the dog you found is my dog. I just moved to the area so neither of us knows it too well. Please can you tell me which vet you went to? The microchip information is incorrect. She has a scar on the underside of her left paw, about 1/4th centimeters thick and 4 centimeters long. She responds to the name Laika and Babosa, Ba- bow-sa. She responds to both English and Spanish commands. Well, her best trick is the give me paw one. You can have your hands behind your back and say the command and she still understands. You can leave first and then tell me. I don’t give a flying fuck right now. I just want my dog back, I have been looking for her for the past day and a half please. Solo quiero la única cosa que haci me casa sentí como casa de nuevo.

Not having noticed that you had finished the rambling in Spanish, nor that you had rambled you hit send and began calling every vet nearby according to google asking about a german shepard mix lab that had been brought in. Cursing at them, crying on the phone, when they refused to say or if they had not been brought a dog.

Her phone dinged once more and like before she whipped it out at an incredible speed.

Ello. I can’t believe posting a story like that actually worked if I’m quite honest. All of the details you gave proved that she’s indeed your dog. We’ve taken her to Goddard Vet in Kingston.-

There was more to the message but you opened up the UBER app the moment you found out the vet and called one over to the vet. The drive there felt as if it was an eternity, her heart never ceased pounding despite knowing Laika was alright. She wouldn’t believe it until Laika was back in her arms again.

Bolting out the uber with a quick, “Gracias!” [y/n] ran inside of the vet clinic, running to the counter, panting. Unable to breathe or catch her breath. She opened her wallet and gave the man working the front desk her ID. “Shepard Lab mix. Es mio. Is mine.” She correct herself. “Old information. New number. Was going to update it pero ella se (but she had) disappeared. Por favor.” She begged the man. “Quiero mi perra. (I want my dog) Owner nombre es igual entonces no problema right??” Her English was failing her. What if she came this far only to have her dog denied to her because they didn’t believe her. “Ella tiene,” she pauses at the confused look on the mans face. “She has a escar,” her Spanish accent becoming thicker when speaking English, “on paw left. Very small. Please.” Tears swam in her eyes and the man told her to take a seat.

Despite the dull ache in her legs and feet, she couldn’t sit. She couldn’t relax. She paced the waiting area, her heart pounded, lungs burning, doubt clouding her mind and she could swear that she felt people staring at her. But that was expected, she was pacing around like a mad man.

Hearing nails tap along the tile floor, [y/n]’s head whipped upwards. “Laika!” She managed to shout.

The dog ripped herself free from the vet’s grip on her new leash and bolted to her owner, to her overprotective mama. Laika pounced on [y/n] sending her to the ground and [y/n] didn’t mind one bit. Her grip tightened around her dog, tears rolling down her cheeks and onto the dog’s fur. Laika lick vigorously at the woman’s cheeks and face, tail wagging.

“Porque te fuiste?! Babosa de mierda! Me asustaste tanto. No tienes idea como me preocupa por te. Podría matarte ahora mismo por eso. Nunca vuelvas a hacer eso de nuevo! Me entiendes?!” (Why did you leave? Stupid shit! You scared me so much. You have no idea how much I worried for you. I could kill you right now. Never do that again! You understand?!) [y/n] mumbled into her dog’s neck, stroking the fur along her spine. After a few minutes, [y/n] pulled herself together and stood, not bothering to wipe away the dog fur on her clothing, grabbing Laika’s leash with white knuckles. Looking up she found herself looking into probably the kindest dark eyes she’s ever seen. Cue nerves.

“I’m glad you have found your dog.” A smile graced his lips, making his already thin lips thinner. She blinked for a moment, stunned that he was standing before her. She was at a lost for words. She parted her lips, realized she was going to speak Spanish and corrected herself.

“Thank you. Thank you very much. I owe you everything. She means the world to me. You didn’t have to help her and you did. You even got her checked up on. I can’t thank you enough Mr. Holland. I really can’t.”

“Tom.”

“Pardon?” “You can call me Tom, darlin’.”

A smile passes over her lips, “Thank you Tom.” With her free hand she pulled out her wallet and gave him all the cash she had on her. “This is to pay you back for everything you’ve spend money on. If this isn’t enough, I can write you a check.” Her hand extended towards him, urging him to take the money. Instead of him taking the money, his wrapped his fingers around her hand, closing it into a fist.

“I can’t take that. It was my pleasure really.”

“As much as I appreciate that. I can no...cannot accept that. There has to be something I can do. I can teach you Spanish? That way you can defend yourself in Spanish. Know more than tu puta madre.” Her eyes widen and she promptly wanted to kick herself in the mouth. Tom, on the other hand, laughed rubbing the back of his neck. Laika seemed to sense something for she nudged his hand with her hand and he began to pet her without skipping a beat.

“I know a bit more. That’s just my favorite word.”

“Words. It’s a phrase.”

“Is it?” “Si, and it’s a very dirty one. Like fighting insulting one. Not a sexy one.”

“Well, I’d love for you to teach me some Espanol. But I reckon I’d need your numbero for that. So you can add it to my phono?”

“Telephono.” She corrected him, smiling. Her nervous slowly disappearing the longer they spoke. She typed her name into his phone along with her number. “[y/n].” She says. “Mi nombre es [y/n] y es mucho gusto a concer te. Nunca crea que yo te iba a conocer, pero paso. Y me encantra a pasar tiempo con usted.” (My name is [y/n] and it is a pleasure to meet you. I never thought that I would meet you, but it happened. And I would love to spend time with you.)

“Well, looks like I’ll need a lesson soon. I understood just about nothing, save for your name. Which is absolutely beautiful. How about a lesson this weekend?”

“Es una cita.” (It’s a date.)

“Cita?” “It’s a deal.” She smiles to herself, grateful that she could cover up that little slip up due to his lack of knowledge.

“I’ll be seeing you around. Behave yourself and be good to your mum.” Tom instructs Laika and he gives her one last scratch behind the ears. “I’ll be seeing you this weekend.” He smiles at [y/n], lifting his hand as he walks away. She waves the fistful of her cash and watches him leave. Putting the money away you hear your phone go off, this time a text tone.

I’m free this saturday around 7pm. Does that sound like a sita to you?

A laugh falls past her lips and she looks at Laika. “He actually thinks cita means deal. I really saved my ass there”

*Cita. And that Works for me. We’ll figure out what you know. Food will be provided. It’s the Spanish way.

***

“You’re grinning like an idiot mate. You got her number?” Harrison questions as Tom buckles in his seatbelt and types away on his phone. The smile only grew at her response.

“Did one better and got a cita with her.”

“Cita?” Harrison questions, eyebrow arched with confusion. Tom feels a smirk pass over his lips and didn’t bother to hide it. “A date. That’s what cita means. You gotta keep up mate.”

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland spanish #tom holland x spanish reader #tom holland x hispanic

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