#ok so like--- how BIG are his hands exactly??
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treatbuckywkisses · 5 hours ago
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I took it to the notes app bc dumblr posted my other review prematurely smh my head
Twice upon a time ( that's the note )
Oh to be taught to fight by nat & steve SO iconic 😭 
The chat but not share thing is so heartbreaking but completely realistic (I'm feeling the angst) 
"And you've grown determined to not intentionally hurt people with your powers. Not anymore." - Who did we hurt then who is hurting other than us.
"You don’t answer, just keep staring at his profile for a little while longer. Your eyes are drawn to the nape of his neck, to the center of his chest. You bite the inside of your cheek so hard it hurts." - I look at my man exactly like this too 
“Try the floor,” Bucky says as you’re almost out of the room. He doesn’t turn when you do, but he seems to feel your questioning gaze. “If you can’t sleep. It helps, sometimes.” - go sit in a corner for this
"Time is seriously out of your hands, and it’s only getting worse." - I tried to not laugh I did 
Also celebrity guest Stephen Strange thanks (or not??) for stopping by 
"He must have hit his head on the side of the big table, but the shield had protected him from the sharp edge. He’s pressing a hand to his wound and he’s conscious and fine. He’s fine. " - thank fucking God finally (with love) 
"You fling your knife as fast as you can, but his single moment of hesitation was long enough for the trigger to be pulled a second time. You turn just in time to see the realization on Bucky’s face, the shock and panic in his eyes as they meet yours." - ok fuck me then
The slight changes in the multiple loops is so good I'm like foaming at the mouth 
Bucky and reader dynamic I'm starting to seeeee !! I actually started kicking my feet and twirling my hair (I love when big man brood but show care) 
UGH I love that I have no idea where this is going (in a good way!!!!) I'm so worried for reader and how fast we seem to be literally deteriorating😭 get help bitch! (Lovingly)
time after time [2]
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series summary: After what starts out as a fairly normal mission, you find yourself stuck in a time loop. Which would already be bad enough in itself if it didn’t also mean having to watch Bucky die over and over again.
pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader
word count: 8.2k
chapter warnings: canon-typical violence, the angst continues, another reminder to read the fic premise; a couple of guest appearances; flashbacks are my establishing shots and i’m going to make it everyone’s problem
please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.
a/n: 2am updates are kind of my brand at this point. big shout-out to @barnesafterglow who read a good chunk of this yesterday and is still talking to me <3 thank you all for your patience and your love for chapter one!!
series masterlist | main masterlist | read on ao3
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two: twice upon a time
The first time you met Natasha Romanoff in person, a few weeks after the Snap, she only had to look at you for a couple of seconds to be able to read you like a book.
They’d compiled a file, of course, filled with all the general academic credits and official family information that was still available to the public and definitely more than a few things you’d tried to bury, too. Even then, the folder was reassuringly slim.
She’d have to take you at your word about what you’d come to offer her, anyway.
“And why would we want to have you?” she asked. As if she were interviewing you for a job. Which, technically speaking, she was.
You were on edge and Natasha knew it, even though you tried to hide your ever twitching fingers in your lap under the table, picking at the skin around your nails until you felt it break. You took a deep breath.
“Look, I know that I’m not exactly a soldier, or a—a superhero type, but I … I don’t know, I would just like to use my … thing to do good, for once. You know, stuff that will help people.”
And do it on your own terms. It stayed unsaid, then. You didn’t admit that part until much later.
Natasha’s face stayed perfectly neutral through your rambling, and you weren’t sure whether that was calming you down or making you more anxious. You reached for your necklace, tugging at the chain.
“But I can’t really do that on my own,” you continued, “and you, well, all of you, you’ve done it for a while and you’re good at it. And I think I could help with that.”
She still didn’t say anything, just kept waiting while you sat awkwardly in that uncomfortable office chair, regretting your decision of ever following through with your crazy impulsive idea of coming here.
But where else would you have gone?
“Also,” you remarked in a sudden burst of boldness, “I think you could use every extra pair of hands you can get at the moment.”
There was something almost like bemusement that appeared in the curl of Natasha’s lip, but she didn’t kick you out, which you took as a sign that your little outburst might have been closer to the truth than you’d really expected. You leaned back ever so slightly.
You couldn’t be sure, then, if she’d pieced together what little information they’d had on you in your file or if she’d just figured you out while you were sitting in this office, but it didn’t make all that much of a difference. She didn’t have to ask why you’d decided to offer up your abilities to the Avengers now, after everything, when they’d been hidden away for most of your life.
“You’re lonely. And you need a purpose, like all of us,” she said, looking you up and down apprehensively.
Then, without warning, she threw her glass at you.
You flinched to the side and it shattered on the wall behind you. The leftover drink slowly sank into the carpet as you turned to stare at her in shock.
Natasha lifted one of her perfectly trimmed eyebrows. “You wanna try that again?”
Really, you should’ve expected the test.
You closed your eyes and raised your hands.
It’s a strange experience, going back in time. No one had really asked you to describe what it was like, and you probably couldn’t have if you tried. It felt a little like retracing your own steps in your head, relocating your conscience to an earlier moment, second by second, in a rapid backwards motion. Like very vivid remembering. Only, it’s not just that.
“You’re lonely,” Natasha said, swirling the dregs of her glass, her green eyes tracing over you. “And you need a purpose, like all of us.”
You were expecting it this time, but the glass still slipped through your fingers and broke into tiny shards on the floor. Not good enough. You didn’t wait for her reaction this time, cursing under your breath and pulling yourself back again. As always, it took considerably more effort.
You tried your best not to stare at the glass while Natasha spoke, but you didn’t really listen anymore. This time, you caught it, even though its contents spilled over your hand.
Natasha smirked. “Not bad. First try?”
“This is when I lie to sound capable, right?” You shook the liquid off your fingers, sure she’d already noticed the sweat on your temples. No use in lying to a spy, anyway, you supposed, so you admitted, “Third.”
“We’ll work on that. But honesty’s a good start.” She held out her hand and you returned the glass. “Have you ever done combat training?”
You could barely stifle a nervous laugh. “Do I look like I’ve ever done combat training?”
“I don’t tend to judge people based on how they appear,” Natasha said, uncrossing her legs. “Come with me.”
You followed her back out of the office into the wide, empty hallway. You hadn’t seen anyone else around on the whole Compound, even though it could probably house hundreds of people on the ground floor alone. The clacking sound of your steps on the tiled floor seemed to echo all around you.
It felt like you were announcing yourself to everyone within a two-mile radius while Natasha moved around on her bare feet without a single sound.
A glass elevator took you down to the subterranean level of the building. Once the doors slid open, Natasha marched straight to a double door with square windows and large metal handlebars.
“Leave your shoes and bag by the door,” she told you. She waited for you to untie your laces and awkwardly wiggle out of your boots before she let you both in.
The Compound gym was even bigger than you’d expected. You weren’t sure if you were more surprised by that revelation or by the presence of a certain super soldier kicking the life out of a punching bag on the other side of the hall.
“Hey Rogers,” Natasha shouted as it got smacked to the ground. “Brought a new recruit!”
“Really?” he called back, unwrapping the bandages around his knuckles.
“Really?” you said. Sure, that was what you came here for, but even so, you were a little shocked it had been that simple.
“Like you said, we’re a little desperate at the moment,” she winked.
“I didn’t say that,” you muttered anxiously as Captain America jogged over to join you, a towel thrown over his shoulder. Despite his workout, he hadn’t even broken a sweat.
“Steve Rogers,” he said, holding out his hand with a smile.
You shook it, slightly bewildered, and introduced yourself. He repeated your name back at you and you had to take a moment to think how strange this whole situation was, even in all the madness that’d been going on. How unreal.
“I’m sure it’ll be good to have ya,” he said, and you almost laughed at the absurdity of it all. Thankfully, you caught yourself in time.
Meanwhile, Natasha had dragged one of the thick foam mats away from the heavy equipment and rolled it out. Cracking her neck, she stepped onto it and pushed her hair out of her face.
“Okay. Show me how you’d throw a punch.”
She held out her hands flat in front of her and nodded her head for you to join her on the mat. You’d never felt so stupid in your life as you tried to rack your brains for whatever little you took from those self-defense lessons however long ago. At least Captain Goddamn America seemed to be politely ignoring you in favor of putting some weights away.
“Just move on instinct, you’re not getting graded,” Natasha said calmly.
Your instincts were telling you you were absolutely getting graded and this was your worst idea to date, but you tried your best. She had you aim at different heights a few times before she stopped you.
“Okay, your posture’s terrible. You have to straighten your back and bend your knees more, see?” She demonstrated the right stance, waiting for you to copy her. “There you go. That’s your standard pose.”
“Alright,” you said, testing it out with a little bounce. “And what do I do with that?”
“Depends on what you’re trying to do. With the right training, you can use your own weight to your advantage in a fight. Steve?”
“Oh, great, am I volunteering?” He joined you on the mat and you moved to give the two of them enough space.
“You love it. Now watch me,” she added, looking at you.
Before Steve could even properly raise up his arms, Natasha launched into a handflip and somehow managed to wrap her legs around his body. The sudden movement made him stumble backwards. He lurched his body forwards to get her off his shoulders, but she used the momentum of her fall to kick him off his feet onto the mat. She gracefully landed on all fours like a cat. It looked effortless.
“You’re right,” Steve groaned, “this is very fun for me.”
“Yeah, I’m not gonna be able to do that,” you said flatly.
“I don’t expect you to,” Natasha said, pulling her hair behind her ears again. “But you do have to be able to survive in a fight, even without your powers, if you want to join the team. We can’t babysit you.”
You pressed your lips together, slowly curling your hands into fists and opening them again.
“Alright,” you said, your voice strangely dry. “When do we start?”
*****
Your initial reaction is relief.
Relief, because it’s Friday again, which means nothing has actually happened, which means Bucky is still alive.
Then, the implications of that fact hit you all at once.
You must’ve blacked out for a second or two, because when you open your eyes again, you’re lying on the floor next to your bed, heart still pounding a mile an hour. Your breath comes out in short gasps, and you force it to slow just in time for the knock on the door.
“Rise and shine, McFly! Time to get your ass kicked!”
“Just gimme a minute!” you shout back and stumble to the bathroom.
Your hands and face are speckled with blood and you wash it off furiously, biting your lip as the tiny cuts on your skin left by the glass shards burn under your touch. Turning off the faucet, you keep leaning onto the basin and stare at your hands.
You’re not sure what you expected. Your rings are still the blackest you’ve ever seen them, and the dimly glowing symbols keep slowly circling around your wrist. It doesn’t take you long to put two and two together, because once is a coincidence, a strange, fateful accident, but twice is a pattern. And of course you’ve heard about this kind of thing happening. Only not like this.
Life everlasting.
No. Definitely not like this.
So it appears you’ve gotten yourself stuck in some macabre version of Groundhog Day. Alright. Cool cool cool. You can work with that, probably. Maybe.
“Did you get lost in there?” Sam remarks with a grin when you finally step out of your room, still looking slightly disheveled.
“I—” You stop yourself, blinking at him until he starts looking slightly concerned.
“You alright? You look …” His eyebrows raise even higher. “Shell-shocked.”
Well, this isn’t exactly an everyday occurence even for me, Samuel, you want to tell him. Instead, you say, “Don’t ever wake me up like that again.” It lacks yesterday’s punch.
“Sweet white teenage angst not your style?”
You hum, but don’t reply otherwise, still lost in thought as you climb the stairs, trying to assess your situation and come up with some sort of plan.
It’s fairly obvious you fucked up your reset the other day. So much for the precious space-time continuum; oh, you hate it when the wizard people are right every now and then.
You glance sideways at Sam while he stretches his back in the ring. He seems fine, completely normal, unaware of what’s going on with you, and of course he would be. Nothing unusual about that part of your powers. Or what’s left of them.
You raise your hands experimentally.
“I’m not high-fiving you until you get one kick in, at least.”
Not even the slightest hitch. It’s like your powers have just up and left you completely. A strange heaviness settles in your stomach. Fucking useless.
You avert your burning eyes from Sam’s gaze.
It’s not like you … talk.
None of you do, not really. Sure, you chat. You’re great at chatting. You’ve had years, countless tries of perfecting smalltalk, of knowing the things you can get away with saying to certain people. It’s made you reckless in the past, knowing you could probably replay entire conversations in the blink of an eye, the pressure of expectation gone completely.
Ever since you started coming out of hiding again, though, the fun has drizzled out of that more and more. It’s one thing to impress strangers and another to be several steps ahead of the people you’ve started to consider your friends.
Because even though sometimes it sure would be easier, having people un-live conversations they’ve had with you, particularly hard or emotional ones, is sort of a shitty move if you continue to spend your time around them afterwards. And you’ve grown determined to not intentionally hurt people with your powers. Not anymore.
So yes, you chat. You know Sam’s favorite color and the video games his nephews want for their birthdays. You know what kind of music Bucky listens to, mostly because he forgets to turn on the soundproofing in his room and Jazz trumpets are surprisingly loud. You know their habits, the foods they like, the movies they hate.
But you don’t … share. Nothing that goes deeper than the general stuff.
It’s moments like these that make you miss Nat the most.
There was something about that woman that made everyone around her open up, whether they wanted to or not. You’re almost resolved to call her as soon as you get back to your room before you remember.
You’re gonna have to do this on your own. Back to square one.
“What is up with you today?”
“I’m fine,” you grunt, but make no effort to get back up again. “Didn’t sleep well. Ow.” You narrow your eyes at Sam. “Did you just kick me?”
“I wanted to see if you’re still alive.”
“Horrible. I’m quitting. You can go spar with Bucky again.”
“At least he puts up a fight.” Sam crouches down next to you. “Anything you wanna tell me?”
Yes. You shake your head. He probably wouldn’t believe you, anyway.
“Alright,” he says, clapping you on the shoulder. You scrunch your nose. “I’m gonna hit the showers. But we’re doing a rain check for tomorrow, and you sort out your pea under the mattress situation.”
“Okay.”
You listen to Sam’s receding steps and the sound of the door opening and closing again. Then, there’s nothing but silence and the ticking of the clock on the far wall.
Even though you know you should probably just head out as well, you can’t help but linger again. Just in case.
“You look like shit.”
Your head rolls to the side. Fuck you, Barnes. “Hey, Buck.”
Same spot on the bench next to the ring, same hunched over position, same concentrated look on his face while he cleans up the shimmering golden nooks in his arm.
“Buck?” He huffs, even though he continues to wear his usual exasperated expression. “Did Sam hit you in the head?”
You don’t answer, just keep staring at his profile for a little while longer. Your eyes are drawn to the nape of his neck, to the center of his chest. You bite the inside of your cheek so hard it hurts.
“What’re you lookin’ at?” Bucky says lowly. You turn your gaze back to the ceiling.
“Nothing,” you answer, pulling an arm over your eyes. The sweatband rubs against your eyebrow.
Maybe, you think, just maybe, it could still be a fluke. Only one more time to get things right, and then all will just go back to normal. Maybe you’ll be fine today. He’ll be fine.
There’s a buzzing in your ears, and you’re not sure if it comes from the green symbols gyrating around your arm or if you’re just imagining it altogether.
“What happened to your face?” Bucky asks unexpectedly, casually, as if he were talking about the weather.
“What do you mean?”
“You look like you dove head-first into a rose bush.”
“Hah.” You slowly sit up, your muscles aching for a hot shower. Three days of training and fighting in a row are not agreeing with your body. “Must’ve scratched myself in my sleep.”
If he sees through your lie, he doesn’t call you out on it. “Didn’t know you have talons.”
You raise your eyebrows in fake surprise. It’s so easy to fall back into your usual bickering, even with everything that’s going on. “You’re right, I don’t. Your cat probably got into my room again and let out her past week’s aggressions.”
“My cat slept soundly, thank you very much,” Bucky says dryly.
“See, that’s exactly what she wants you to think.”
“Funny.” He stands up, hanging the piece of cloth over the side of the boxing ring to air out. “Take the towel on the right, I already used the other one.”
“Thanks, Buck,” you say with a smirk. He ignores you.
***
The shower is what brings your mood back down again. In the silence of the water hitting your back, there’s enough time for you to think about the upcoming day that you’ve already been through twice.
Up until the mission, it’s gone by fine, unremarkably so, which only makes the build-up to the evening even worse, in your opinion. You face the stream of hot water directly, trying to rid yourself of the image of Bucky lying on the floor, bleeding out in front of you.
You need to be rational about this.
First, you need to figure out what’s going on with your powers. Then, you have to make up your mind about lunch, because while you don’t exactly resent the thought of your third pizza in as many days, your stomach sadly doesn’t agree with that notion. And finally, you’re going to break this damn cycle you’re in. Easy as that.
You turn off the shower with your newfound resolve and grab the clean towel.
Your determination lasts up until you get back to your room and realize you don’t actually know how you are going to fix your powers. They’ve always been somewhat fickle, unpredictable even to you, acting up whenever it’s most inconvenient. Impossible.
No one has ever been able to tell you where they came from, nor how you could properly control them. Everything you know you had to figure out through trial and error, replaying the same scenario over and over again, and, more often than not, lucky coincidences.
Usually, when your rings are black and your powers are weakened, it helps to let your body regain its strength first. In other words, you need to sleep.
This is something you probably should have thought through before getting your morning coffee with an extra shot of espresso, out of habit, but that’s not something you can change right now.
The living room area wouldn’t usually be your first choice for a midday nap, but you’re not ready to face the bloodstains on your bedding quite yet, so you’ll have to make do with one of the suspiciously IKEA-looking throw pillows on the couch. The TV is chattering away in the background, just loud enough to somewhat distract you from your own thoughts.
It’s not enough to fall asleep, though.
You keep tossing and turning, half-listening to three or four episodes of some nineties sitcom, while your anxiety gnaws away at your insides. There’s a constant low pounding in your head that drives you up the wall, and again you swear you can hear the symbols looping around your wrist. You keep scratching at your sweatband, but it’s no use.
You don’t know how much time has passed before the pattering of small paws makes you sigh in disdain.
There’s an obnoxiously loud meowing close to your feet, followed by a sudden weight dropping on your stomach that almost invites your garlic bread back up for a double feature. You peer out at the white shape on top of you, innocently toying with the hem of your shirt.
In general, you like cats just fine, but something about Alpine has always unsettled you. Sure, she’s a cute-looking ball of fluff, but she’s also quick to scratch unsuspecting people bending down to pet her, and she seems to have a particular bone to pick with you.
“Maybe she’s just a good judge of character,” Sam jokes whenever you complain about it.
“She doesn’t like you any better.”
“Yeah, but I’m allergic to her,” Sam shrugs. “The farther she stays away, the more a favor it’s doing me.”
In truth, the only person Alpine likes is Bucky, and she loves to show it every chance she gets.
“You’re in her spot.”
Alpine graciously allows you to push up to your elbows with a groan. Bucky’s tall figure is looming over your head; there’s a bemused expression on his face. He must’ve just walked in through the door, because he’s still wearing his jacket.
“Why does the cat need a spot on the couch, exactly?” You try to shoo her off your lap, but Alpine digs her claws deeper into your shorts and you wince. “You really need to teach her manners.”
“You gotta be gentle with her,” Bucky says, pulling her off you without a hitch. “Move over.”
You swing your legs off the couch with a roll of your eyes. “Can’t you sit somewhere else?”
“Nope. This is my spot, too.”
“Great,” you sigh, angling yourself away from him. “I’ll be sure to make a reservation next time.”
Alpine starts purring as Bucky scratches her under the chin. “You watchin’ that?”
“I was trying to nap,” you mumble, throwing him the remote with a little more force than necessary. “What time is it, anyway?”
“Thirteen twelve hours.”
“Please stop just saying numbers when I ask you that.”
Bucky smirks again and switches channels. “Quarter past one-ish.”
You blink at him tiredly, surprised to find out he’s been back so early. The past two days, you didn’t see him around again until the broadcast was about to start. Then again, you didn’t really pay attention at that point, either.
There’s that tick in his jaw that he always gets when something is bothering him, even as he’s distracted by a playful cat in his lap. You’d better relieve him of the burden of your presence.
“Well,” you say, standing up. Alpine whines indignantly at the sudden movement. “I’ll try to find a cat-free spot in this tower, then.”
“Try the floor,” Bucky says as you’re almost out of the room. He doesn’t turn when you do, but he seems to feel your questioning gaze. “If you can’t sleep. It helps, sometimes.”
You hide your hands in your pants pockets, even though it’s far too late by now. He’s already noticed your black rings.
With a short hum, you briskly walk back to your room, leaning against the door as it closes behind you. This is getting ridiculous, you think, worrying the ring on your pinkie finger with your thumb. As if you didn’t have enough reasons to get a hold of your powers again; you don’t know what you would do if Bucky really got suspicious of you now.
Taking a deep breath, you eye your bed. Compared to yesterday, the blood stains on your sheets are barely more than a few specks, because you weren’t as close to Bucky when it happened. Somehow, that doesn’t make you feel any better.
“Fine,” you mutter in annoyance, grabbing one of your pillows and throwing it on the floor next to your bed. “FRIDAY, can you wake me in time for Sam’s speech?”
“Of course,” FRIDAY tells you. “Do you want me to use the same song as this morning?”
“Please don’t.” A little idea pipes up at the back of your head. “Do you have any record of playing that song before?”
“Last dates played. Friday, July 4th 2025, 07:50 a.m. Playtime: forty-five seconds. Thursday, March 13th 2014, 02:49 a.m. Playtime: one hour, twenty-seven minutes, eighteen seconds. End of record.”
Interesting night for Tony, then, but not exactly telling when it comes to your time loop situation. With a sigh, you get settled on the floor, staring up at the ceiling until your eyes get too tired.
You’ll think of something once you’ve had a bit of sleep. He’ll be fine.
And then, just as you’re finally about to drift off, you feel a sudden jolt go through you. It’s a bizarre sensation, like you’re falling and jumping at the same time, but your body isn’t actually moving with you. Like someone pulling at your very consciousness.
Your eyes fly open and you gasp for air.
You’re still in your room, which should be good news, but everything looks … weird. Not as out of focus as it would be if you were simply dreaming, but somehow crooked, the angles unusually pronounced. The colors are all off, the lights way lower than they should be this time of day, and when you reach out for the edge of your bed, your hands—
You take a sharp breath. Your fingers are bare, no trace of your rings anywhere, and even worse, your hands are partly transparent. Cautiously, you get up on your equally as see-through legs and turn around.
When you see your own body still lying in bed next to where you’re standing, you almost trip over your own feet.
You stare at yourself in disbelief. One of your body’s hands is tucked under the pillow, and it’s breathing regularly. Carefully, you take a step closer and reach out your noncorporeal hand. Your shoulder feels warm and solid underneath your fingertips.
Your body wrinkles its nose in its sleep and you jerk back again, losing your balance and falling to the floor. Your body doesn’t react at all, even though you pull part of the blanket with you as you go down.
“Okay. This is a dream,” you tell yourself, even though you feel your heart pounding. “Just some weird-ass dream, and I have to wake up.” Again, you can’t help but look at the sleeping body lying in your bed.
You press your hands over your eyes, willing yourself to slow your breathing. The edge of your nightstand jabs you painfully between the shoulder blades, too real to be nothing more than an act of your imagination.
“You’re not what I expected.”
The man’s voice makes you flinch slightly. Slowly, you peek through your fingers.
You either didn’t notice him while you were taking in your surroundings or he’s just blended in with them seamlessly, although you’re not sure how that last one could even be a possibility. His back is turned to you, his frame covered by a long, deep red cloak with intricate patterns stitched along the seams. He’s perusing your bookshelf, picking up old copies seemingly at random.
For some reason, your shock at the sight of him is outweighed by immediate irritation. Something about the man instantly irks you.
“Thanks, I think,” you tell him, throwing the edge of the blanket over your sleeping body again as you get up, never letting the man out of your sight.
He turns around, one of his eyebrows raised. Your eyes immediately fall on the amulet around his neck and your heart gives a stutter. You ignore it.
“Not a compliment.” He holds up a book. “This is how you spend your time, then?”
It’s one of your favorite comfort novels. You take good care of your books for the most part, but this one is quite battered; you’ve been bringing it with you on missions for years. A bit of home that fits into your pocket and helps calming you down on countless quinjet rides better than pictures ever could.
“Sue me for trying to relax in between saving the world,” you say, crossing your arms.
“Of course,” the man says wryly. “Because god forbid you use those powers of yours to their full extent, we wouldn’t want that.”
“And what’s it to you?” you snap.
The man calmly puts the book down again; not where he picked it up from, you notice in annoyance.
“My name is Doctor Stephen Strange,” he says, watching your face for your reaction. “Ah, so you have heard of me.”
Of course you have. You know who he is, you must’ve seen his picture hundreds of times during the Blip, and even before that, you’d heard about his reputation. As one of the keepers of the time stone back when it still existed, he’s on your list of people you least want to see, ever.
You narrow your eyes at him. “How did you find me? What—” You take a quick look back at your own sleeping form. “What is this place?”
“The astral plane,” he says, swiping your bookshelf for dust and inspecting his fingertips contemptuously. They’re shaking ever so slightly. “Something you would know if you hadn’t spent the past decade avoiding every single chance to use your powers responsibly.”
“Wow,” you huff. “You don’t know anything about me or about my powers.”
“Don’t I, Y/N Y/L/N?” Strange’s cloak flaps slightly as if it were shrugging.
“I spent the last couple of years trying to save lives.”
“You’re riding on luck and pretend it’s control. You have no idea what this could do to the grand scheme of things.”
“Well, I never asked for these powers, okay?” you say defensively. “I just have them. What I don’t have is any interest in being a pawn in some grand scheme of things when I never wanted any of this.”
“People don’t generally get a choice in that matter.” His gaze drops to your wrist. “And now look where your resistance to accept your responsibilities got you.”
The green band of symbols is still leisurely circling around your arm. You bite your tongue. “I don’t know how that happened,” you say, your voice breaking slightly on the last word.
“It happened because you activated the time stone,” Strange sneers. “Your powers are a lot stronger than you even care to realize, and it was idiotic to keep them a secret.”
“Why, so you could use them for your own gain?”
“So I could prevent this exact kind of thing from happening.”
You throw your hands in the air in frustration. “So end it, then. Or did you drag me here just to berate me?”
Strange chuckles humorlessly. “This is not something others can just fix for you, Miss Y/L/N. You cast a very powerful spell in creating this loop, and you are the only one who can lift it again.”
“Great. I’m screwed, then, is that what you’re saying?” You might not be inside of your body at the moment, but you can still feel your cheeks heating up. “I want you to leave me the fuck alone.”
“You need to calm down,” Stange says sharply.
“Don’t tell me to calm down, get out of my—head, or whatever this is. Get out!”
“Alright then. Continue to play stubborn. See how far it gets you.” He holds out his right hand and there’s a crack in the air behind him; almost like a doorway, or a mirror. “I’ll be here when you’re done acting like a child.”
You come to on your bedroom floor, feeling almost more tired than you did when you laid down earlier. It takes your bleary eyes a moment to adjust to your surroundings again. When you sit up, a thin throw blanket that you don’t remember pulling over your shoulders falls into your lap.
This really is just a whole bunch of disasters stacked on top of each other.
You don’t even have to look at your rings to know there’s still not the slightest green spec in sight. Your fingers find your necklace and you tug slightly to reassure yourself of its presence. How the hell did Strange even find you?
There’s no time to think about it for too long, because once again, there’s a knock at your bedroom door.
“We got a lead on that lab,” Sam shouts on the other side. “Jet’s leaving in half an hour, get ready.”
You blink at the clock on your wall in confusion. Even though you feel like you only spent a couple of minutes in this other dimension you were dragged into, several hours have passed in this one.
Time is seriously out of your hands, and it’s only getting worse.
***
“Don’t you think that maybe they have an alarm set or something?” you say, contemplating the explosives laid out in front of you.
Sam raises his eyebrows, adjusting the intercom chip in his ear. “Is that a hunch or are you telling me?”
“Both.” You flex your fingers. “It’s just that announcing ourselves probably isn’t in our best interest right now.”
“And you couldn’t have said that earlier? As in, before we landed?” Sam sighs.
Bucky snorts as you shrug your shoulders helplessly. Your body desperately needed the half hour of uneasy sleep the flight has afforded it, even though your powers seem to be unimpressed by it.
“Look, it’s gonna be fine,” Sam continues, squeezing your arm. “We’ve handled worse. Besides, if they do have an alarm set, they’re gonna come to us whether we knock down that wall or not.”
“I guess,” you mumble, grabbing the explosives. “Let’s play knock-knock with terrorists then, that oughtta be fun.”
“Reminds me of ‘44,” Bucky says, more to himself than to either of you.
When you follow Sam down the hallway once again, you can’t help but search for the cameras you know are hidden here somewhere, but it’s impossible to tell in the dingy light. You should bring a stronger flashlight next ti—no.
You blink, stopping that thought before it’s fully formed.
There won’t be a next time. This thing ends tonight, once and for all.
Third time’s the charm, right?
About as charming as a kick to the face, you think as you find yourself delivering just that.
Sam takes off. “We better get moving. If you take care of the drive and these idiots, I’ll clear the tunnels for a way out of here!”
Bucky catches Sam’s shield as you disarm the white jacket with the knife and duck as the shots ring out. You’re sweating in your kevlar vest.
“Two o’clock, Bucky,” you tell him, throwing another punch. You’re so sick of this white-coated asshole in particular; it’s like they think you’re in the rumble from West Side Story. “And whatever you do, don’t throw that shield, alright?”
“You’re bossy today,” Bucky huffs, taking out the one with the blaster.
“I think you mean thorough,” you reply as Riff finally goes out cold.
“You tell yourself that.” He reloads his gun instead, shield firmly locked around his right arm. “How much longer for the transfer?”
You glance at the monitors and try to remember. “About a minute, maybe two.”
“Sam, you copy?” The last white jacket goes down.
“Ready for take-off in five,” Sam confirms cheerfully. “Heads-up, there’s at least another dozen heading your way.”
“Got it.” Bucky bumps your shoulder as he starts back towards the computers, leaving you only a second to process the different turnout of events.
Shouldn’t he insist on leaving?
The only thing that differentiates this mission from the first one is that you haven’t had to jump back to know what to look out for, and therefore don’t suffer the immediate side effects a redo usually has on you. You suppose that’s what they initially expected your powers to be like; flawless, useful, magical.
It’s like a slap in the face, even though Bucky doesn’t realize he’s doing it. The fact that he really does think lesser of you because of your stupid, faulty powers stings more than you care to admit.
You shake yourself back to the present moment. “Take the drive and then get away from there!” you shout, trying to catch up with him. Your lungs are burning. “They’re gonna blow up the—”
The blast of the explosion throws you backwards and you land on one of the unconscious bodies on the ground. Coughing, you roll to your hands and knees.
“Wha—ppening?” Sam’s cut off voice comes through the broken comms.
“Bucky?” You stumble towards the flaming mess that was the lab corner.
He must have hit his head on the side of the big table, but the shield had protected him from the sharp edge. He’s pressing a hand to his wound and he’s conscious and fine. He’s fine.
You can’t stop a relieved laugh as you crouch down next to him. “Wanna get out of here or what?”
The reflection of the flames makes his eyes almost look green as he squints at you, groaning. “Geez, I hate you.”
“Come on, tough guy,” you say and he lets you pull him to his feet, almost toppling over at his unsteadiness. “Let’s get you home.”
You keep turning around as you make your way to the tunnels, keep looking back towards the staircase you came down, worrying about the reinforcements Sam told you about. Maybe that’s your mistake.
Because you haven’t made it this far before, you don’t think to check that the unconscious white jackets are all still unconscious.
You still have Bucky’s shield arm around your shoulder as he jerks, sensing the motion on his left before you do. He catches the first bullet with his metal arm as you twist out of your hold on him, grabbing your knife and whirling back around. He makes a side step, taking a big swing—
Only you told him not to throw the shield.
You fling your knife as fast as you can, but his single moment of hesitation was long enough for the trigger to be pulled a second time. You turn just in time to see the realization on Bucky’s face, the shock and panic in his eyes as they meet yours.
And then you wake up with a start to the sun in your face and–
“Okay, alright, turn it off, FRIDAY!”
By the time you wipe your mouth and flush the toilet with shaky knees, hair and face still caked with blood, you’re finally starting to understand how well and truly screwed you are.
***
You lean against the fridge, staring at Sam while he’s typing away at the kitchen island. He likes working standing up for some reason, particularly when he has to write some sort of statement.
“If I have to give the speech standing up, I’ve gotta write it standing up,” he’s explained it to you once. You can’t pretend to get it, but you suppose it’s also a perk to be within an arm’s length of snacks at all times while you’re getting stuff done.
“What do you want?” Sam says evenly. His gaze remains fixed on his laptop, his fingers never stopping to move.
You bite your lip. It’s a bad, very bad, terrible idea. You shouldn’t be bothering him with your fuck-up. You don’t even know how to go about it without having him laugh in your face.
“What if I told you that I’m stuck in a time loop?”
The question comes out weirdly flat, as if you’re joking. Fuck, what’s happening to you? You’ve always been fine with being the person who knows more than anyone else in the room. This situation though …
It’s different. It unrattles you in a way your powers never have, because even though it’s your own doing, it also seems so out of your control.
Sam raises an eyebrow, still not looking up. “I’d ask when you started drinking today and why you did it without me.”
Honestly, you should have expected something along these lines as long as you have no way of proving it to him.
“Well,” you say light-heartedly, as if you’re merely chitchatting. “What would you do if you were reliving the same day over and over again?”
“Enjoy my time off, probably,” Sam says, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands.
“I’m serious.”
“And I’m starving. Shouldn’t the food be here by now?”
You check your phone. “About half a minute.”
It gives you an idea for the future.
Lo and behold. You startle the poor delivery guy, opening the front door right before he can knock. “Hi,” you smile, handing him a generous tip. “We don’t know each other, right?”
“Uhm. What?”
“Do you have like, two minutes?”
“Did you have to haggle for them, first?” Sam calls over when you finally make it back to the kitchen, closing his laptop and helping you put down the boxes and containers on the counter.
“Had to convert to Pastafarianism,” you say, getting out the cutlery. “Ready for blasphemy?”
Sam chuckles.
By the time lunch is done and Sam has left for Madison Square Garden, another wave of exhaustion catches up with you. You pull your rings off and leave them on the table before you lie down on the second couch in the living room area, hoping that maybe this time, you’ll get a little bit of rest.
Only once again, it’s no use. Every time you close your eyes, you’re back in the lab, watching Bucky get shot. The background buzz of the TV isn’t loud enough to drown out the sound of your cursed memories.
Or the sound of the cat whining next to your ear.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Alpine settles on your chest this time, leaving long white hairs all over your shirt and hitting you in the face with her tail. You grimace, trying not to inhale any of her fur.
“You’re in her spot.”
You don’t bother turning your aching head. “I thought her spot was over there!” you say accusingly, gesturing vaguely to the other side of the living room.
“Who told you that?” Bucky says, a bemused tone in his voice as he scoops Alpine up in his gloved hands, careful not to touch you. “Move over.”
You blink at him. You did.
You feel his expectant glare on you and sigh.
“Really, you too? We have plenty of room, you know.” You pull your knees in.
“I do,” he says, sitting down next to you and reaching underneath the cushions. “But you’re always hoggin’ the remote.”
You put your cold feet on his thigh in retaliation. Bucky tenses.
“How are you so cold, it’s like ninety degrees outside.”
“Emphasis on outside,” you shrug. “I just run cold.”
“That you do.” He switches channels, then pulls his gloves off and puts them on the table next to your rings.
You bite the inside of your cheek and roll to the floor inelegantly. Alpine meows in disdain, like a knife scratching the whole diameter of a dinner plate.
“Please tell your cat to chill, geez,” you mumble, slumping down on the other couch and stretching your legs out again with a contented sigh.
Bucky doesn’t reply.
“My dear girl,” a thickly accented voice on the TV says, “you cannot keep bumping your head against reality and saying it is not there. The evidence was definite. We can’t remove it by wishing or crying.”
“He trusted me,” a female voice answers. “I led him into a trap, I convicted him. Is that real enough for you?”
“There is no one to blame,” the first voice continues. “The case was a little deeper than you figured. This often happens. You must realize now one thing, it is over for both of you.”
“What are you watching?” you ask.
There’s a short pause before Bucky answers. “Hitchcock. Spellbound.”
You can’t help your reaction.
“Why’d you just do that?” Bucky says.
You stare at the ceiling. “Do what?”
“You flinched.”
“Did not.” You can taste blood in your mouth.
“Why won’t you look at me?”
You turn to the side and demonstratively stare at him, even though it makes your insides twist. Bucky’s face doesn’t change at all as he gazes back at you, frown deepening between his eyebrows. It’s like he’s trying to drown you with the endless blue of his eyes.
You drop your gaze and shake your head.
“What’s your point, Bucky? Not everyone likes staring at people like you do.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s weird. And invasive.”
“It’s invasive to look at you?”
“Yes,” you say, “if you do it like that.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know!” You sit back up again in exasperation. “What do you want from me, Bucky?”
You look at his face this time, not his eyes. It still makes your cheeks burn, because his jaw sets that way again and he doesn’t immediately respond.
“Something’s wrong,” he says, finally, and you hide your face between your hands in what you can only hope looks like frustration. Then you realize that that’s only making your missing rings more obvious.
“Nothing’s wrong,” you snap, balling your hands into fists.
“Tell me.”
“I don’t have anything to tell you!”
“You promised,” Bucky says coolly. “Remember?”
Your stomach plummets.
“Yes,” you say, forcing your voice to stay calm. “But I’ll take care of it. You don’t have to worry. I’ve got this.”
You feel his eyes on your back all the way to your room, and you’re not sure if you’re lying to him or to yourself, even as you slam the door behind you and look anywhere but your bed.
Your book is lying in the wrong place.
*****
“Honestly, Nat, you could’ve killed her.”
“Don’t be dramatic. She’s made of stronger stuff than that.”
There were yellow dots dancing across your vision when you opened your eyes, groaning at the bright neon lights hitting you in the face.
You were lying on the mat in the gym of the Compound and your nose had been ripped clean off; at least that was what it felt like. Judging by your red-soaked shirt, your guess wasn’t that far off, though.
“Hey,” Natasha said, kneeling down next to you. “Sorry, that must hurt like a bitch.”
“Your head is bery solid,” you replied, touching the blood still dribbling down your face. “Ow.”
“Thank you,” she said and handed you a wet towel. “Put that in your neck and lean your head back.”
“Di’ I faind?”
“You knocked yourself out, honey,” she said with a sly grin.
“It isn’t funny, Nat,” Steve shouted. You snorted, then winced in pain.
“Don’t worry,” Natasha winked. “You’re gonna be as pretty as before once you clean up. Already reset your nose while you were out.”
“Thangs.”
Surprisingly, this was the first serious injury you’d sustained in the past couple of weeks you’ve been living as a rookie Avenger; though in truth, that was mostly due to the fact that Natasha had only had you build up your stamina and agility up until today. Your first proper day in the ring was nothing short of humiliating.
“You could always go back to the moment before you decided to headbutt me,” Natasha said once the bleeding had finally stopped.
You wiped your nose carefully, taking a few breaths to clear your airways. “Sadly, that’s not how it works,” you said, letting her help you slowly come upright again. “I’m the one moving through time, so I stay exactly the same. I can help you guys avoid the punches, but I’ll still be the one receiving them.”
Cursed to stay the same, just like you’d always said.
Natasha tilted her head. “That seems like something you could work on with proper help.”
You grimaced. “I’ve tried that before. There’s no one who can help me, no one who can … fix me, or my powers.”
There was worry in her eyes, then, and you were taken aback by how genuine it seemed. It left a crack in your shell.
“I don’t think that’s true,” she said quietly.
But it was. “I mean it,” you said, your lip twitching. “You can’t tell them that I’m here. For all they know, I got dusted just like everyone else.”
She knew; it had been the one condition you’d set in exchange for your help. That didn’t mean she had to like it.
There was a prolonged pause until Natasha nodded. “All the more reason to get you proper training,” she said, getting back to her feet and helping you up. “Let’s get you some ice cream. Good for the healing.”
You smiled when both she and Steve kept worrying about you the entire way to the kitchen, even though both of them tried hard not to make it obvious. It still filled you with a strange sense of warmth that almost had you forget about the pain.
You were safe here.
Things were finally starting to look up.
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chapter three
thank you for reading!! you can follow my library blog @intrepidacious-fics for update notifications 💚
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Vulkan is an Indian Mom
Ok so i was looking at this image of Vulkan in what i assume is what he wears while doing blacksmithing work
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like the guy is basically just wearing a dress if you ever worked anywhere close to a forge you know that that while we all wish we could wear that not just for style points but also because the forge oven can actually get THAT hot... its a a guaranteed way to for a trip to the ER
For reference this is what you usually wear:
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If your casting or welding something (which vulkan definitely does because why would he just not??????) you usually even wear leather pants and a leather jacket.
Also i dont think i need to mention this but touching your work straight from the forge oven is ALWAYS a very bad idea. Thats what you use tongs for
Now i do get that hes Primarch doesnt affect him cause super human that and all and thats not what im here to argue (although i do think Vulkan butting heads with imperial OSHA would be a conceptually very funny crack-fic )
What i am here to argue is that Vulkan forging and doing generall metal work is like an Indian Mom making rotis.
now if you never had the experience of an Indian mother making you rotis its basically a fact that they don't use their bare hands for everything: they will form it, trow it on the pan, turn the hot roti, get it on your plate all without burning themselves somehow. Meanwhile everyone else has tried this at least once failed and proceeded to use a spatula.
Now my personal headcannon is that that is exactly what Vulkan is like in the forge: he will straight up just reach into to the hot forge oven with his bare hands to get something quickly to show how its done and is somehow fine meanwhile everyone else around him is in full safety gear using thongs to while trying not to get burned (as far as i understand the salamanders forges are way hotter than average). and hes just out here winging everything not even wearing gloves and remaining oblivious of the casual show of "fuck all-ness" he just gave.
My second headcannon is that Vulkan is the only one who can do this (big E doesn't count he can just reality to do what he wants) no ohter primarch has ever gotten close to this level of winging it in manufacturing . I can imagine Dorn or Perturabo probably tried at one point but it just ended with burning their hands. Vulkan remains the only true incarnation of spirit of Indian moms.
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arsenicflame · 2 years ago
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stede is 'oh this place has something related to my interest i must go in immediately' autistic and izzy is 'if we deviate one inch from my plan for today i will murder someone' autistic
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mrsoharaa · 1 year ago
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hes my angelllll ♪ ₊˚ ‧
cult leader!suguru is always serving cunt 😩
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inspired by @/luvrgumi
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johnsbleu · 22 days ago
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Hold My Hand: John Wick x Reader Chapter 179
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warnings: nsfw moment hmh masterlist
“Momma,” Ronan walks over to you with a flower in her hand, and you smile as you take it. “For you.”
“Well, thank you, baby.” you lean over and laugh when she tucks it behind your ear. “Where is your dad?”
Ronan shrugs before she rushes over and plays in the yard with Bleu. You’re supposed to be going on a walk, but John had something he needed to grab quickly, and he’s taking longer than expected.
After the Peter incident, it’s been…different around the house. John is just quiet and a little disengaged with things. It didn’t happen right away, but about a week after everything happened, John got really quiet. He got into his own head, which makes you worry. He’s been shutting himself in the basement more often than not, which means you and Ronan haven’t been spending as much time with him.
You take the flower out of your hair and set it on the table, then you open the patio door and stick your head in, “John, you still coming with us?”
“Uh, I don’t think so,” he calls from the office. “You two go without me.”
You frown a little, but you let him have his space, “Okay, well, we’ll be back in a bit then.”
Just as you go to shut the door, you see John poke his head around the corner, “I love you.”
“I love you too, John.” you smile softly, “We’ll be back in a bit.”
You watch as John goes back to the office and closes the door, and you try to keep yourself composed as you turn around to look down at Ronan.
“Daddy?”
“He’s busy, so it’s just us girls,” you say, praying she’ll be okay with it. “Is that okay?”
Ronan nods her head and holds up Bleu’s leash, so you take it and clip it to his collar. You lift up Ronan and put her into the stroller, then you fix her hat and make sure she’s bundled up. It’s not really that cold, but there’s a little nip in the air.
“Should we maybe go to the park?” you ask, and she nods. You lean down and kiss her cheek, “Alright, let’s go.”
__
Ronan is playing with some other kids at the park as you watch her, and she waves when she looks at you. You wave back at her and laugh when she giggles loudly. She truly can brighten any gloomy day. Even though it’s not really gloomy today, you feel gloomy. Whenever John isn’t feeling like himself, it hurts you. You just want him to be himself again, but you don’t want to push him. He’s allowed to process his emotions. It just sucks that he’s shutting you out.
“Hello, sister.” Tess says, leaning over the back of the bench you’re sitting on, “Watcha up to?”
You gesture to Ronan, “Just letting her get some energy out. How about you?”
“On a walk. It’s so nice,” Tess says, then she smiles as Jimmy chases Finn to the playground. She sits down next to you and rests her hands on her growing belly, “Where’s Wick?”
“He stayed home,” you say, watching Tess look at you from the corner of her eye.
She shifts a little on the bench to allow Jimmy to sit next to her, “He didn’t want to come with?”
“No, he’s…I don’t know,” you look down at your hands and shrug, “This past week or so, he’s been a little quiet. I know it’s not Helen, like an anniversary or anything, plus we talk about that stuff now. He’s open about it.”
“Think it’s Peter?” Jimmy asks, and you look at him. He inhales deeply and nods, “I worried he’d do this.”
You nod, “Me too.”
“Want me to talk to him?” he asks, and you look at him and shrug.
“It might be good for him to hear from someone else for a change.” you let out a stiff laugh, “I’m sure he’s sick of me.”
Tess shakes her head, “Don’t. This isn’t on you.”
“It’s just when he decides to shut down and shut people out, it’s so fucking lonely for those he shuts out, and I know he’s lonely too. Or maybe he’s not.” you whisper as you tear up, then you look at Jimmy, “Please talk to him.”
“I will,” he nods, reaching over for your hand, “I will.”
Tess smiles as she looks at you, “You up for some ice cream?”
__
Of course you were up for ice cream. You feel like shit and ice cream is obviously the answer. The idea of letting Ronan get energy out at the park ended up being pointless since she’s going crazy over some sugar now, but it’s fine. She’s playing with Finn in the playroom, so hopefully she’ll get the rest of her energy out.
When you got to Tess’ house, Jimmy went to your house to talk to John. You hope it’s going okay. John loves Jimmy and knows he wants the best for him, so hopefully John will be open with him.
“Have you two talked about the whole Peter thing?”
You nod, “We did. I was the one who told John to kill him, well, actually mom said it first.”
“Excuse me, mom said what?”
“Yeah,” you laugh quietly, “When we were in the hospital, she said she wouldn’t blame John if he killed him. She said she doesn’t understand everything about John’s past but she understands enough. Anyway, I told John at the police station that he should do it. I didn’t say it in those words, but it was implied. So, it’s not like I didn’t know John would do it. Hell, I knew he would before I ever even suggested it. I know John. I know he’ll do whatever he can to protect his family.”
Tess nods as she shifts on the couch, “What do you think is going on with him?”
“He’s getting into his head and overthinking everything, which means he shuts down. Gets emotionless. He said something the other day that concerned me, but I just kind of brushed it aside because I was tired of living life with a cloud over my head.”
“What did he say?”
You look at Tess, “He said he’s let his walls down and now he’s weak.”
“But him letting his walls down is actually the opposite. He’s strong and brave for allowing love back into his life. He understands what loss is. He’s incredibly brave for it.”
“And I told him that. I told him that letting his walls down is why I’m here and why we have a daughter. I just feel like maybe it went in one ear and out the other. Or maybe that’s not what is bothering him, or maybe he just needs to talk about something else. I hate feeling like this,” you frown as you look at her, “I hate not knowing what’s going on with him. He’s my best friend. I know him better than anyone, and I hate feeling like I don't know him right now.”
Tess opens her mouth to say something, but the front door opens as Jimmy walks in. You turn around to look at him, and he quickly leans down to kiss Tess before plopping into the chair and exhaling sharply.
“So, how did it go?”
Jimmy rubs his hands over his face--oh, it was that bad then. He sits up and shakes his head, “He has thick fucking walls, Y/N. I couldn’t crack him. I usually can. I have before in the past, you know, that’s my…that’s my fucking best friend, but I couldn’t. Not this time. I’m sorry.”
You sit back and sigh, “It’s fine. Thanks, Jimmy.”
“I can go over tomorrow and try again, but…”
“It’s okay,” you look at him and smile softly, “Thanks.”
Tess reaches for your hand, “So, what’s the plan?”
“He wants to be alone, so I’ll let him be alone.” you say, shrugging. “I mean, I’m always going to be there for him, but he clearly isn’t ready to talk about it, so I’ll give him space until he’s ready. I can wait. I love him more than anything; I can wait.”
“Wanna sleepover?” Tess asks, and you frown as you tear up and nod your head. She wraps her arm around your shoulder and looks at Jimmy, “Sorry, babe, I can’t snuggle with you tonight.”
Jimmy laughs as he gets up and kisses the top of her head, “That’s okay. I understand.”
You smile when Jimmy ruffles your hair, “Thanks, Jimmy.”
“Anything for family, right?” he says, and you nod your head. “No need to thank me.”
__
Since you’re just packing a little bag for the night, you left Ronan with Tess but you brought Bleu back home. He immediately goes to the last place John was--the office--but he quickly comes out and looks at you. You furrow your brow and look to your right at the basement door that is slightly open.
“Hey, you down here?”
“Yeah,” he says, and you make your way down to find him working on a book. He doesn’t even look up at you. “How was your walk?”
You let out a small laugh, “Our walk ended about three hours ago, but it was fine. Thanks for asking. Um, Ro and I are going to stay the night at Tess’.”
That gets his attention. He looks up at you, “Why?”
“The kiddos wanted a sleepover, and you know Tess, she loves them too.” you say, and John nods before looking down. “You’ll be okay here?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”
You inhale deeply as you shuffle in place a little, “I’ll miss you.”
“Well, I’ll be here,” he says, which completely shatters you.
You blink a few times to rid your eyes of tears, “I’m gonna go pack a bag for us.”
“Did you send Jimmy over to talk to me?” he asks as you step onto the stairs. You look over your shoulder at him and shake your head. He sets his utensils down, “You did.”
“I just wanted, maybe, ugh…” you turn around and gesture to him, “You’re being quiet, so I thought maybe you didn’t want to talk to me, and if you didn’t want to talk to me, maybe you’d want to talk to your best friend. I guess I was wrong.”
John nods, “I appreciate you looking out for me, but I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You have to eventually, John. It’ll eat you alive otherwise. Just talk to me.” you say, walking over to him, “Talk to me.”
John rests his hands on your waist and looks up at you, “I can’t. Not right now.”
“Am I asking too much of you? Am I being too much? How can I fix it?”
“This isn’t you.”
“No, this isn’t you. Being so quiet, shutting me out, it’s not you, John. You’re not that guy anymore.”
John shakes his head, “I’m always going to be that guy.”
“Stop repeating words you’ve heard from enemies.” you say, tilting his chin up, “Listen to me, listen to someone who loves you: you’re not that guy.”
“I appreciate it, I do, but…” he looks down and sighs, “Just not now, okay?”
You frown as you look at him so small and defeated, “Okay. I’ll be at Tess’ if you…need me.”
He won’t call. Maybe he’ll text just to say he loves Ronan or something, but you know you won’t hear from him for the rest of the night.
“I love you,” you whisper to him, and he looks at you as you walk to the stairs. “While you’re busy putting up all those walls again, remember who broke them down last time. I did once, I’ll do it again.”
__
You can’t avoid the house, nor do you want to. It’s your home, and John isn’t some big, scary creature; he’s just having a hard time. Maybe just your presence will make him feel a little better or something. Probably not, but it’s worth a shot.
When you got home, you saw that the kitchen and living room were a little less than tidy, plus you had a big pile of clothes that needed to be washed. Logan has always washed his own clothes, but since he’s been working a lot more than usual, he hasn’t had the time, so his clothes are in a basket in the laundry room as well. You’ll toss them in and get that taken care of first.
As you sift through his clothes, you peek out to the living room and see Ronan playing by herself with her toys. You smile when she makes a little noise, then you load the washer and turn to grab some soap.
“Daddy!” Ronan calls out, and you peek around the corner again, watching as Ronan hugs John tight.
“Hi, baby girl.” John ruffles her hair a little and smiles when she holds up a toy to show him. He sits down on the floor with her and plays for a few minutes, “Are you being good for momma?”
You watch as Ronan nods her head and points to where you’re standing. You quickly move so John can’t see you, then you put the soap in the washer and start it. Since there’s nothing left for you to do in the laundry room, you head to the kitchen and start cleaning up in there. You gather up some papers that have been sitting on the counter for a few days and bring them to the office, tucking them away in a drawer. You’ll deal with them later.
John is, surprisingly, still playing with Ronan when you walk past, and you smile to yourself when you hear the two of them laughing. Even though he’s shutting you out, it’s nice that he’s spending a little time with her. He adores her, and she adores him.
After spraying and wiping down the counters, you start the dishwasher and put away some small items that are around. You really want to mop the kitchen floor, but Ronan isn’t ready for a nap yet. You want to do it once she’s napping so that she won’t walk on the wet floor, plus you can mop and have a little snack afterward while you wait for it to dry.
John clears his throat, “Hey.”
“Hey,” you glance up at him from where you’re cleaning the windows.
“How was your…sleepover?”
You shrug, “It was okay. We crashed in the basement, and it was really cold.”
“Yeah, their basement is freakishly cold.”
“Probably a ghost,” you joke, and John’s lips tip up a little. “Are you busy?”
John nods, “Yeah, just working on some stuff. I heard noise up here, so I just wanted to see Ronan.”
You look over at him and feel your nose burn as you tear up. He looks at you and widens his eyes before shaking his head.
“No, that…that came out wrong. I wanted to see you too--”
“It’s fine,” you put your hand up and wave it off, “She’s cute and can barely talk. I get why you’d just want to see her.”
John steps closer, “It’s not that I didn’t want to see you.”
“You just didn’t want to talk to me,” you say, holding his gaze, “I get it. We don’t have to talk. I’ll go back to doing what I’m doing.”
God, this is killing you! You just want to fucking talk to him. He obviously doesn’t realize that what he’s saying is hurtful and it sucks. You know John, so you know he’ll apologize for acting this way, but until he’s ready to talk, it will be a lonely time.
You look over your shoulder to see John looking around the kitchen for something, “What are--”
“Where was the paper that was here?” he says, tapping the counter, “I had a paper here that I needed. It was important. I need it.”
“I…” you set the cleaner aside and walk around to search the drawers, “I just was cleaning and I put--”
John sighs, “You misplaced it. Or threw it away.”
“I didn’t throw it--”
“I really needed that, Y/N”
You look at him, “And I’ll find it. Calm down.”
“I just needed--”
“You needed it. Yeah, got it,” you roll your eyes and close the drawer, then you head to the office to find the stack of papers you had earlier. You bring them back to John and throw them a little too hard on the counter, and some slide to the floor. “Is it in this pile?”
John looks through them and takes one, nodding his head, “Yes, it’s here.”
“So, no, I did not misplace it or throw it away. You’re welcome.” you say, and John looks at you and opens his mouth, but you stop him. “Don’t. I really do want an apology, but you’re being a true asshole right now. You can shut me out all you want, but I draw the line at being a dick to me. I’m not cool with that. I’ve always stood up for myself, and that won’t stop today. You’re being mean and incredibly unfair to me when all I’m doing is giving you space or just trying to let you know I’m here for you. If you’re going to continue to be mean to me, then you can go back downstairs and continue ignoring me too.”
“Look…”
You turn to him, “John, no! I said I’m not looking for an apology right now. You’ve made me feel like shit. I want to be left alone. I’m respecting you; do the same for me.”
John stands there for a moment before he lets out a sharp sigh, “Fine.”
Looking ahead, you watch John from the corner of your eye as he waits for a moment. You know this man better than anyone, so you know he’s waiting for a moment longer so he can see if he can apologize yet. Not only is this killing you, but deep down, you know in your heart it’s killing him too.
John taps the paper against the counter, “I’ll be downstairs.”
The moment you hear the basement door shut, you put your head down on the counter and cry.
__
You’re ready to talk to John. Whether he’s ready to talk to you or not is still the question. He’s been up and down from the basement all day today. You think he’s trying to work up the courage to talk to you, but you feel like he doesn’t know how to go about it.
After stepping out onto the patio with a cup of coffee, you smile when you see Ronan playing with Bleu. She gives her best attempt at throwing the ball for him, and it only goes a few feet, but Bleu is very enthusiastic about it anyway. He gets it and immediately drops it at her feet.
You look over your shoulder when you hear the door open, and you smile softly at John before looking back at Ronan. John chuckles quietly when he sees her throw the ball for Bleu.
“She can’t throw very far, but he doesn’t care,” you say as John stands next to you. You sip your coffee and offer him some. Surprisingly, he takes a drink of it before handing it back. You take a deep breath and look at him, “Can we talk now?”
John looks down at the ground as he shuffles in place, “I don’t know.”
“I don’t want to force you to talk about it if you’re not ready, but I can’t keep doing this.” you say, turning to face him, “I can’t live my life without talking to you. I can’t live my life without you. I can’t live my life with you shutting me out. I want to talk. I want to listen to you. I just want to fix whatever is broken and move past it. Not because I just want to get past it, but I want you to be okay. I want my husband back.”
John blinks as he looks at Ronan, then he furrows his brow, “What is she doing?”
“She’s playing in a pile of leaves.” you say, deflating and tilting your head back, “John, we need to talk.”
John pushes past you, “No, she’s playing in the flowers. Ronan Charlotte!”
You watch as John walks over to her and grabs the dead flower in her hand, and you immediately follow him.
“Where did you find this?” he asks, and Ronan points at the ground.
Your heart sinks to the ground when you realize she’s been playing on the spot where Daisy is buried. John plants flowers there every spring. They’ve died, but they’re still there and will be until next spring when he plants them again.
“You do not play there, and you do not take these flowers, you understand me?”
Ronan instantly starts crying, because why wouldn’t she when her gentle and sweet dad is scolding her, and you lean down and pick her up, looking at John in horror. He’s never yelled at her. He’s barely even scolded her.
John huffs, “She’s not supposed to play on that spot.”
“She didn’t know.”
John shakes his head, “I’ve told her before. She didn’t listen. You can’t play there!”
“Jonathan!” you turn Ronan away from him, “Stop! She is a toddler. Stop yelling at her!”
“I’ve told her before--”
You put your hand up to stop him, furrowing your brow and looking at him in disgust, “Stop! Who the hell are you right now? Yelling at our daughter for playing in leaves, for picking flowers. I don’t…I don’t know you right now.”
It must be a sobering thing for him to hear because John’s entire demeanor immediately changes. His tense shoulders relax, his cold eyes turn warm but sad.
“I’m…”
You shake your head, holding Ronan tight to your chest as she cries. John steps forward, so you step back and put your hand out.
“Don’t.”
John begins to crumble, “Mouse, I wouldn’t…I wouldn’t hurt you.”
You scoff, “Right now I don’t know who you even are, so I can’t say that I believe you.”
“You think I’d hurt you?”
“Do I think you’d physically hurt me? No, of course not, John. But you have hurt me. You have hurt me all week, Jonathan. You’ve been fucking mean to me and to Ronan. You’ve ignored us.” you say, and he frowns. “Don’t follow me inside. Just…leave us alone for a bit. Now I’m shutting you out.”
John puts his hand over his heart as if it hurts, “Don’t do this. I can’t…I can’t deal with that right now. I need you.”
“You should have thought about that sooner.”
You hoist Ronan up and kiss her cheek as you walk into the house, soothing her along the way. You close the door behind you and look back at John as he watches you, then you head up to Ronan’s room with her in your arms.
__
Who would have guessed that sleeping on your daughter’s tiny bed would cause your back to hurt? You feel stiff as a board as you get up and stretch. You stretch your arms above your head and yawn before looking down to see Ronan isn’t in bed. You open the door and hear a fork scraping against a plate and Ronan giggling, and you put your hand over your heart where it’s hammering away.
“Want more?” John asks, and Ronan nods her head as she looks up at him. He leans down and kisses the top of her head, “Hungry little bug.”
You smile as you watch John looking down at her adoringly. You clear your throat and give him a small wave when he looks at you.
“Hey, I just got her some breakfast. She…crawled into bed with me this morning.”
You pull the sleeves of your sweater down over your hands, “Yeah, I think she was tired of sharing with me. Sorry about that, bug.”
“I had plenty of room to share with her,” he says, and you look at him, “You could have crawled into bed with me too.”
“Yeah, well,” you shrug as you lean against the counter, “Me from last night didn’t want that.”
John chuckles, “But you from this morning with a stiff back…”
“Yeah, she, on the other hand, would have loved it.” you say, letting out a small laugh. You look up at John as he watches you, then you take a deep breath and say something just as John does. He gestures for you to start, but you shake your head and gesture to him.
“I made breakfast.” he says quietly, gesturing to the counter, “I haven’t made pancakes for a while, so I thought I would.”
You lean on your elbows on the counter and grab a pancake. You rip a piece off and eat it, “Peace offering?”
“It’d be a rather poor one,” he says, and you look at him as he grimaces, “I can do better.”
“No need to do anything for me.”
John nods, “I already apologized to her. She…stuck her finger up my nose, so I think she’s forgiven me. I can’t tell though. She’s a hard one to read, kind of like her mom.”
“You understand why I’m upset?”
“Absolutely.” he nods, and you set down your half-eaten pancake. “And I want to talk about everything."
“Let’s sit down and have a real conversation,” you suggest, motioning toward the table. John nods in agreement, his expression serious yet open. “Let’s talk about what’s really going on.”
“I know things have been strained between us,” John begins, his voice tinged with sincerity. “I can’t exactly explain everything I’ve been feeling because it doesn’t make sense. It really doesn’t. But I want to apologize. I want to fix this.”
You listen intently, feeling a glimmer of hope. There is so much vulnerability in his eyes. You’re honestly a little surprised he’s having this conversation in front of Ronan, but this is how you know he’s ready to talk. You could be petty and tell him you’ll talk to him when you’re ready and make him wait, but you’re not that person. You’re his wife who loves him more than anything in this world, and you want this weird tension to end.
John reaches across the table for your hand, “I’ve been an asshole to you. I’ve been mean, I’ve been distant. I made our baby cry. Trust me, nothing in this world could make me feel worse than that.”
“Why? Why have you been acting like this? I thought everything was fine,” you hold John’s hand with both of yours, and he leans over more, placing his hand on top of yours. “After Peter, I thought things had gone back to normal.”
“Remember what you said about me putting my walls back up…” he says, and you nod. “I started to put them back up. I quickly realized putting them back up hurts the people I love the most. I was pushing you away.”
You bite your cheek before you squeeze his hand, “Was it a self-preservation thing? Trying to protect yourself like you did before?”
“I think so,” he admits, and you squeeze his hand again, “There was a moment where I thought that if I put those walls up again, I’d be…safe. It was so second nature to me that I didn’t even realize I was doing it at first. I don’t want to lose you, and putting those walls up caused me to lose you.”
“You didn’t lose me.”
John looks down, “Yet.”
You loosen your grip on his hands and pull away, and John furrows his brow and leans over more for your hand.
“What do you mean ‘yet’?” you stare at him as you tear up, “Are…are you breaking up with me?”
“No! Oh my god, no.” he says, pulling your chair as close as he can to him, “Hell would have to freeze over before I ever did that.”
“Then what do you mean by ‘yet’?”
John sighs, “I can’t stop feeling this way. I don’t want to get hurt. I can’t stop feeling like I have to protect myself.”
“Do you remember when we first started dating?” you ask, and John smiles as he nods. “Remember how I would be so weirded out when you’d do nice things for me? I’d immediately assume you just wanted to get laid, but I quickly learned that you were just really nice. You’re just a really nice guy, I still think that now. Remember how you’d try to do something nice for me and I’d immediately try to shut it down because…no one has ever just done nice things for me before. You taught me to let my guard down and allow someone to just be nice to me, and because of that, well, here we are.”
“This is a little different from that.”
You shrug, “Maybe so, but we’ve gone on to have such a great relationship because, while yes, someone hurt me so deeply in my past, I don’t let it define my life now. If I did, John, we wouldn’t even be together still. I would have completely sabotaged our relationship, and sometimes, if I don’t catch myself right away, I still see myself getting ready to do it because despite everything, sometimes I feel like I still don’t deserve this life.”
“But you do,” he whispers, reaching over to cup your face, “You deserve everything, Y/N. You deserve every good thing life has to offer.”
You cock up your brow and smile at him, “Now say that to yourself.”
“That’s different,” he drops his hand and sighs, “I’ve done…bad things.”
“Who the hell cares? Do I look like I care?” you ask, and he laughs quietly. “Is this…because of Peter?”
John looks at you, “I haven’t had to be that person for a long time, and I guess I’m having some sort of conflict over it. Imposter syndrome or whatever.”
“John, you deserve a good and happy life, and guess what?” you whisper, tilting his chin up, “John Wick deserves one too. I don’t just love Jonathan, I also love John Wick. I love every side and every inch of that man, you know that, right? I love every single part of you.”
“If Helen were here and I had to do this,” he shakes his head, “She’d never forgive me.”
You smile softly when he looks at you, “But I’m not Helen.”
“I know,” he nods, reaching for your hand again, “I know you’re not.”
“And John, she loved you. She’d have forgiven you. Despite you thinking you’re some monster who is cursed, you’re not. You’re just a guy.”
John starts to laugh, “Well, thanks.”
“You know what I mean!” you laugh as you get up and sit in his lap, “You don’t ever need to apologize to me for protecting me. I told you what needed to be done. You needed to kill him. I would have done it myself!”
“You don’t ever have to do that stuff. You have me for that.”
A smile spreads on your face as you look at him, “Don’t shut me out. No matter what you’re feeling. I want to know because I want to help, and even if I can’t help, it’ll help you to just get it off your chest. Doesn’t it feel good to just talk to someone?”
“It does.” he nods, then he puts his hand over his face, “I am so sorry.”
“You’re still learning.” you say, pressing a kiss to his cheek, “We’re still learning. Yeah, we’ve been together for a few years now, but we’re constantly learning more about each other. We’re being put into different situations every day, and it helps us learn more about each other. We’re not automatically going to know how to navigate all of it just because we love each other. But because we love each other, we’re always going to want to help the other. I love you more than anything in this world, and all I’ve wanted these past few days was to make you feel better. I wanted to make all the bad feelings you were having go away.”
John touches your cheek gently, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” you smile at him, “Don’t shut me out.”
“I won’t,” he shakes his head as he leans up to kiss you, “I promise I won’t. God, I completely shut Jimmy out too. He probably…hates me.”
“Stop saying things like that. No one hates you because you’re having an emotion that’s something other than happiness. We get mad, we get sad, we get anxious, we shut down, but no one hates us for it. I do not hate you for it. Jimmy does not hate you for it.”
John’s eyes are so sad as he looks at you, “I shut you out.”
“You did,” you nod. You’re not going to beat around the bush. “You really hurt my feelings. You scared me.”
“I’m sorry, I really am,” he cups your face and rubs his thumb over your cheek, “I’m…so worried that word will get out to people and they’ll think I’m coming back.”
You furrow your brow, “Like last time?”
“I went back in for a reason. Someone wronged me, and I wanted revenge for that. Then suddenly, people were coming out of the woodwork…”
“Santino?” you ask, and John nods, “Yeah, but he’s dead. I think everyone would understand why you did what you did; to protect your family. Peter was…a nobody. He didn’t know you. He didn’t know your past.”
John nods, “I just don’t want anyone to try to pull me back.”
“If they try, they’ll have to deal with me, because if you go, I go. Two minutes in a car with me, and they’d bring you back.” you say as John laughs, “Trust me, if someone were to step foot into this house and try to pull you back in, I would stand in their way and not move. I’m not letting you go back to that life. You deserve to have a good life, John, and I’m going to make sure that you have it.”
“I do have a good life, because of you.”  he says, and you wrap your arm around his shoulder and hug him. He holds you close and rests his head on your chest, “I’m truly so sorry.”
You close your eyes and rest your cheek against the top of his head, “Thank you.”
“You should never feel that way, and I always promised that I’d never make you feel that, but I did.”
Sitting back, you look at him, “It would be so unfair to you if I didn’t allow you to have any emotions. How unfair would it be if someone told you that you’re never allowed to get upset or sad or pissed off about something? I would be beyond upset if that happened to me. I’m allowed to feel every emotion under the sun, and you are too. I will never be the person who tells you how to feel. That’s not fair to the person that I love, and it’s not realistic. It is so unrealistic and, again, unfair to hold you to a standard where you’re not allowed to feel certain things.”
“I hate when we fight.”
“I do too! But not to sound like a broken record, it is genuinely so unrealistic to hold you to some standard where you aren’t allowed to be upset or have emotions. I truly hate the saying ‘love means never having to say sorry’, because it basically just means you get to treat someone like shit and never apologize, but you and I, we apologize. Immediately once the dust has settled.”
John chuckles, “Because I don’t like when we’re not getting along.”
“And I don’t either.” you press a kiss to his lips and hold his gaze. “You’re allowed to feel things, John. You’re allowed to not always be happy. Okay? And when you feel like shutting down, just don’t shut me out. I want to help.”
Letting out a big breath, John reaches up and tucks your hair behind your ear, “I won’t. I promise I won’t shut you out.”
“Okay, good. And no one is coming back to drag you into that world, okay? I’m not kidding when I say I will stand in their way. You’re not going anywhere. We need you,” you say, gesturing to yourself and Ronan, who is covered in maple syrup, “We need our guy. Don’t we, Ro?”
Ronan nods her head, “Yuh!”
You laugh when you see Ronan with maple syrup on her face, “See? We need you here, and you’ve already been gone for too long.”
John smiles, “It was a rough few days.”
“I know, but you’re back, right?” you ask, holding his gaze as he nods. “Good. I’ve missed you so much.”
“I missed you too,” he whispers back, pulling you closer so he can kiss you.
You smile softly, “How are you feeling?”
“Better,” he nods, sighing a little, “Still worried someone is going to call, but if they do, I have no problem telling them that I’m done. I want to be here.”
“And those walls you were putting up to protect yourself?”
John nods, “They’re gone.”
“Good. I mean…” you get up and flex your arm, “I have no problem busting them down again. I did last time.”
“Effortlessly, to be honest.” John says, and you smile as he stands up in front of you. He pulls you closer and wraps his arms around your waist, “I’m sorry.”
You let out a small laugh, “I appreciate the apology.”
“And you forgive me?”
“Of course I do, babe.” you wrap your arms around his neck and smile at him, “Remember? Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”
John begins to laugh, “Yeah, at face value, that quote is pretty shit.”
“I forgive you, John. I just want you to be able to come to me next time instead of shutting me out.”
“And I will. I didn’t…want to bother you with--”
You gasp, “Bother me? You? Bother me? Do you think you’ve ever bothered me before? I’m your wife! You do not bother me. The only thing that bothers me is that you feel like you bother me.”
John laughs, “Okay. That’s good to know.”
“What didn’t you want to bother me with?”
“I didn’t want to keep talking about him.” he says, and you nod. “I didn’t want to bring it up and upset you. We went through a lot. But I did need someone to talk about it with. I wanted that person to be you.”
You smile softly and whisper, “I am that person. I will always be that person. Do you still want to talk about it?”
John takes a deep breath and nods, “I do.”
“Okay, well--”
Ronan throws a pancake onto the floor and fusses, kicking her legs, “Out!”
“Later?” John says, and you lean up to kiss him.
“I will always make time for you and your emotions, John. I’m always gonna be here.” you cup his face while Ronan continues to cry, and you both start to laugh. “Tonight. You and me. We will talk all night long.”
John nods, “Sounds good.”
“Okay, I’m coming,” you say to Ronan as you get her out of the high chair, “You are filthy! You need a bath.”
“Thank you,” John says as you begin to leave the kitchen, and you turn around to look at him. “For being patient with me.”
You laugh, “I wasn’t exactly patient, and I certainly wasn’t very nice. I am sorry for that.”
“You were better than some people would have been.” he says, and you shrug. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” you smile at him, then you lift up Ronan and look at him, “I am all yours tonight, John, and I’m all ears. I’ll be there for you.”
John puts his hand over his heart and smiles, “Thank you.”
__
You and John spent about an hour just talking about everything. He opened up to you and shared how he had been feeling. He truly just didn’t want to bother anyone with his feelings, which is crazy to you. You’re his wife, and you thought that he would know he could come to you. He just didn’t want to keep bringing up his past and Peter, which you understood in the end.
John pulls the blanket over your bare shoulder and smiles softly, “I missed you.”
“Oh, no, you mean you missed sex.”
“No!” he laughs, and you smile at him. “I mean, yeah, but that wasn’t what I was concerned with. I hate when we’re fighting or not getting along.”
You scoot closer and feel the warmth radiating from his naked body, “Me too. It’s lonely when you shut me out.”
“You’ve shut me out before, so I know what it feels like too,” he whispers, closing his eyes, “It’s not fun.”
“We should probably never do that again, huh?”
John laughs, “Yeah, I will never do that again.”
“Good,” you lean over and kiss him.
“At first I didn’t even realize I was pushing you away. I just got so focused on some work, and next thing I knew, I hadn’t talked to you all day. You were in bed when I finally came upstairs. Ronan was asleep. I didn’t even get to eat dinner with my girls or watch a movie.” he says, and you nod. He exhales as he shakes his head, “I am so sorry. I am more than sorry. I don’t know how long you want me to keep apologizing, but I’ll do it forever. I will beg and plead for your forgiveness, if I’m even worthy of it.”
You let out a small laugh, “Stop it. I love you, Jonathan. I didn’t ask for you to apologize 17 times. Once is enough for me as long as it’s genuine, which I know it is. I forgive you. And of course you’re worthy of my forgiveness.”
“Should I go check on Ro?” he asks quietly, and you smile at him before you nod.
Ronan is only a toddler, but John is desperate to know if she’s forgiven him--she has! She was clinging to him all night after dinner. She doesn’t even know what was happening, but John still feels awful for having yelled at her.
“I’ll be back,” John whispers, and you watch as he gets up and puts on his pajama pants and a t-shirt before disappearing around the corner to Ronan’s room.
You shift under the blankets a little and freeze when you hear the front door open. Logan is home. You can hear John’s voice, but you can’t make out the words, so you grab the blanket and wrap it around yourself to peek around the corner.
“I wanted to apologize,” John says, and you frown as you look down at him and Logan, “I’ve been a little distant lately.”
“I don’t blame you. What happened was nuts,” Logan says, and John nods. “I know it was hard on Y/N, which meant it was hard on you.”
John nods again, “It was, but we’re good now. I’m…sorry if I ignored you. I hope it didn’t remind you of your dad or anything.”
“Nah,” Logan waves it off, “You two couldn’t be any more different. Trust me, I understand. And hopefully this doesn’t sound rude, but I’ve been working so much that I hadn’t been around for a lot of it. Y/N was really alone then, huh?”
“She was,” John glances up at you, and you smile at him. “I think she’s good now. I hope she is.”
You laugh when they both look at you, “Yeah, I’m good.”
“We have plans tomorrow.” John says as he backs away, “You’re invited. Family day.”
Logan laughs, “Yeah, okay. Cool.”
“Goodnight,” Logan waves, then he heads to the kitchen for a late-night snack.
John smiles as he comes back up the stairs, and you back away and laugh when he shuts the door and locks it behind him. You open up the blanket and close your eyes when he wraps his arms around you and kisses you as you walk backwards toward your bed.
“Lay down, beautiful,” John whispers, and you do as you’re told. He fixes the blankets and holds your gaze as he pulls his shirt off and takes off his pajama pants.
You smile when he crawls back into bed with you, “Might want to turn the TV on. A little extra noise.”
John laughs as he reaches for the remote to turn it on. He turns the volume up just two clicks more than usual. It’s not too loud, but at least no one will be able to hear what’s happening in your bedroom.
“Ready?” you ask, and John scoffs before he playfully rolls his eyes and nods. “I’m just asking. The last one was…intense.”
“I’m always ready.” he says, and you shiver a little when he looks into your eyes.
You hum as he kisses you, “Good.”
After he turns off the light on his nightstand, John leans over and kisses you deeply, and you close your eyes and reach up to cup his face. He moves to hover above you, so you take the invitation and scoot over until you’re beneath his body. Using his legs, he spreads your legs open, and you both let out a breath when he slides between your legs with ease. You whimper into his mouth as he pushes himself in deeper, your nails digging into his back.
You bite your bottom lip to keep yourself from moaning too loudly, but when John thrusts his hips, you can’t help but let it out. You put your hand over your mouth and squeeze your eyes shut for a moment, then you reach up and grab a fistful of John’s hair, gripping it in your hand; he does the same to you.
Your head involuntarily tilts back as you moan, “Oh, fuck, John.”
“I love you,” John whispers against your forehead as he thrusts his hips, “I love you so much.”
You kiss John desperately as he rolls his hips, “Show me how much you love me.”
Those are the last words from your lips before John sits up and flips you over onto your stomach. He pulls you up by your hips and slides back between your legs, and you instantly dissolve into moans.
He trails kisses up your spine, sending shivers down your body. His hands explore every inch of your skin, finding their way up to your breasts. He cups them in his hands and gently helps you sit up so you’re leaning back against his chest. You roll your hips and moan softly, and John sucks on your neck for a moment before he places his hand over your mouth.
“Fuck me harder,” you demand, and John chuckles softly into your ear before laying you back down on the bed.
“Don’t have to tell me twice.”
You feel his warm breath against your skin as he trails kisses down your neck, covering your body in goosebumps. His hands explore your body with a gentle and soft touch, igniting a fire within you. All worries and stress melt away as you lose yourself with John, and his whispered words of love.
_
taglist:
@spiderfangirl22  @im--blushing @ruby-octo @sunnythebunny7  @livetosing21  @lilithlinen @ladyren33 @multifandombliss @tnu-ree @scream-queen-25 @beingnerdyissupercool @sakurachan-9
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unriding · 29 days ago
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hi evie !! how have you been ? :33 i hope you dont mind me borrowing you and moze for something ehehe <3
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#🐦‍⬛🐕 .#彡 nick!#彡 inbox.#evie.ss#omg good morning nick! my stomach literally twisted and flipped seeing this /pos /POS /the most positive gut wrenching feeling in existence#NICK AND THE REASON WAS ? WHY DO U NOT HAVE A KOFI LINK WHERE IS IT …. THIS ISNT OK I NEED TO FIND IT???? U CANNOT BE … BE …. BE UM … YOU K#I NEED TO 😭😭😭 I NEED ….. IS IT OBVIOUSLY IM CRYING WRITING THINSSJSJSN /pos /ULTRA POS THIS IS SO CUTE UR ART IS SOOOO AWESME IM SO IN AWE😭#typos: obvious* <- & barrier* -> amazing work evie#i broke the sound banner with the screech i made seeing this …. YOU … YOU DREW ME … THE EXACT WAY ….. I .. ITS SO SPOT ON I ????? I … IM#FLABBERGASTED . SHELL SHOCKED . GOBSMACKED IM SO OBSESSED WITH HOW U DID MY HAIR …. THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I DO MY HAID … AND THE CURLS ARE LI#LIKE THAT… IM SO OBSESSED WITH UR STYLE JSJSJJD HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I SAID IT???? UR STYLE IS MMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!! 1000/1000!!!!!! in specif#the colors … the colors are gorgeous and sooo nice to gaze at … the little wings … HOW DID YOU KNOW I LIKE- IM SO . (hugs knees and cries#YOU DREW THAT DRESS AWESOME-LY …. IM GENUINELY LOSING MY MIND AND I HAVENG EVEN .. looked at *him* ….. nick …. im complimenting it and i#can’t even see rn HEJSJCKCNITS BLURRY 😭😭 my head hurts so bad from sobbing but ive never been happier /pos IM SO ???? I LOVE HOW U DREW ME#i went to go triple check for the kofilink and found myself browsing through puppetgear tag once again u^u JENDNDKXJ oh my god . PLEASEEEEE#ok…. moze … he’s … so tiny .. he’s so cute … he looks so grumpy :’) /pos AND YOU .. u captured his squishable look omg….. he’s so teeny he’#literally as big as a fingernail on my phone im :’) HES POCKET SIZED I CANT BELIEVE U DID THIS /pos /ETERNALLY GRATEFUL#WHY 😭😭😭😭😭 YOURE SO KIND IM SO . IM SITTING ON THE FLOOR OF MY ROOM SNIFFLING AND HICCUPING AHENDNJXKC AND STARING AT THIS OF COUESE#i just saw the ask 😭 i definitely don’t mind im literally on my hands and knees to thank you and it’s still not enough JSNSNDNMC i have to#dig a dent in the hole and bow inside the hole …… it’s not enough … i genuinely love every square inch of this JSNDNXN i just adore … how u#did me … how u did moze (so— everything) even the circle in the background is a color that i adore 😞😞 sniffle …..#what a treat to see moze in ur style 😭😭 what a HUGE . Nice . AMAZING. TREAT . he looks so good in ur style UGH I WANNA FLOAT AWAY#the physical reaction i had in my stomach & head is unmatched /pos …. it’s vaguely similar to when u get called on in class while nervous .#and ur stomach flips .. but in a positive / EVSTATIC / insanely happy way … thank you so much omfg (link?) (please?) you are so kind ….#i don’t even know how to convey my gratefulness so im resorting to crying-staring-crying-staring-crying#(cries)#oh i never answered ur question haha :’) yea im great! :’) and you? :’)#im gonna put this in queue >/////< URK IM SO …. THANK U NICK ))))))):::: (link perhap?)#edit: OHHHH I SEE HOW U DID MY HAIR COLOR!!!!! that is so cool hello? it’s black- but not? and it fits so perfectly!!!! THAT IS SOO COOL WJ#NO WONDER I WAS ADMIRING THE COLORS EARLIER THIS IS SUCH A COOL THING (nonartist tries to explain how neat something is) NSNDNXKK
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s0dium · 5 months ago
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𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐍
Haikyuu men x Reader
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A/n: This is part of my Olympic event, please click on the for more! If you would like to suggest something for this event don't hesitate!
Synopsis: What do Haikyuu men do after the Olympics? Well, they do you
Warnings: Spanking, fingering, praise, groping, squirting
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The camera zooms in on the bustling Olympic stadium in Paris, its energy palpable even through the television screen. The crowd's roaring cheers reverberate, celebrating the electrifying victory of the Japanese volleyball team. Among the sea of jubilant teammates, the camera focuses on one player, your boyfriend, glistening with sweat and wearing an infectious smile: fresh from clinching the gold medal.
As he steps away from the celebratory huddle, a reporter, microphone in hand, intercepts him. The reporter's voice is enthusiastic, mirroring the atmosphere, "So, what are your plans to celebrate the big win?"
He chuckles, wiping a bead of sweat from his brow, his grin widening, "Well, after drinks with the guys," he pauses, "I have a little post-game ritual."
Intrigued, the reporter leans in, the crowd's cheers serving as a dramatic backdrop, "Oh yeah? What's that?"
He winks at the camera, "Secret."
Yes a secret it was, one that only you and him knew. One that started off with you being bent over his knee with his fingers deep in your creamy cunt.
"Been thinking about this all day," he murmurs, right hand caressing the fat of your ass while his left curls and massages the sweet part of your gummy walls that makes your eyes roll back. At this point you have given up resisting, letting your body hang limp over his muscular thighs.
As his fingers probe and massage your gspot, the wet sounds of your arousal fill the room, an intoxicating symphony that drowns out all other thoughts. Each movement, each touch, creates a chorus of slick, rhythmic noises that seem to echo in your mind, pushing you further into a state of pure, unadulterated pleasure.
"So good," you whine and you don't know it but the tips of his ears go red from the sound of your voice. Your brain begins to haze, the world around you blurring until all that exists is the sensation of his ministrations. His touch is both fast and demanding, knowing exactly how to tease and please, drawing you closer to the edge. He reaches a spot inside you that you can only dream about reaching with your own fingers.
"I know baby, I know you feel good. Shit, i cant feel you squeezing my fingers." he groans at the feeling of your cunt convulsing around his digits. He is already two fingers deep in you but at this point he's thinking about stretching you further and slipping in a third. So he does. Using your dripping arousal as lubricant he slips in a third finger making your thighs tremble from the sudden intrusion. The stretch is delicious, who knew a volleyball player's hands had other uses besides volleyball?
"I won for you princess, the whole time i was playing I was thinking about you."
You can feel your pussy tighten and convulse at his words, the clicking sound of your arousal a testament to your connection, your mutual need.
Time loses all meaning as you surrender to the overwhelming sensations. His fingers, his praises, every part of him is dedicated to driving you wild, and you find yourself unable to hold back the moans that escape your lips. The noises you make together are primal, raw, and they pull you deeper into the abyss of pleasure.
"M'feel weird," You choke. Your breath comes in short, sharp gasps as the sensations become almost overwhelming. You feel something press down on your core like there is a pressure building inside you, a sweet, urgent tension that demands release.
"Shhh its ok, let it go baby." He coos and before you can respond he delivers a sharp smack to your ass. "make a mess on my hands, come on~"
The pleasure is so intense, so all-consuming, that it creates an almost paradoxical sensation. The euphoria is so great it feels as though you might lose control, as if you need to pee. It's a raw, primal feeling that heightens the urgency and the pleasure, pushing you further toward the edge.
You squeeze your eyes shut, your senses overwhelmed by the sheer intensity. Your mind races, caught between the need to let go and the fear of losing control. Then, it hits you. with a curl of his fingers against your wall, you surrender to it, letting the sensation wash over you.
Your are too lost in the ecstasy to realize that you are squirting all over his hand. It's like an explosion, your body trembling, your mind going blank, consumed entirely by the pleasure he has given you.
"Just like that, let it go y/n let it go." His hands rubs circles on your ass as your body shakes and trembles from your orgasm.
"So perfect so perfect, the best prize I swear."
HINATA, KUROO, BOKUTO, OIKAWA, TSUKISHIMA, Kenma, Ushijima, IWAZUMI, AKASHI, ATSUMU
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mahgyu · 5 months ago
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──── In the beginning of your relationship, you learned that Satoru was the type who liked to sleep cuddling. Before meeting you, Satoru used to sleep hugging a pillow, even. It wasn't exactly a necessity for him, but just something he liked and that made him fall asleep faster. You, on the other hand, weren't exactly that type.
Hugs before sleeping? Perfect. Having someone on top of you while trying to sleep? Not so perfect. Fortunately, the two of you reached an agreement about that.
But sometimes, like today, Satoru was extremely clingy. He was sleeping deeply, with his body completely on top of yours, his face buried in the curve of your neck, and a leg trapped between yours.
You loved holding him that way, having the strongest man you had ever known so vulnerable curled up in your arms and sleeping peacefully. Satoru slept heavily when he felt that comfortable, and the deeper he slept, the heavier he became on you. As mentioned, your boyfriend is a strong guy, so now it was almost uncomfortable for you.
You feel this pressure against your chest as he rests on you, completely at ease. You thought that maybe, if you tried hard enough, you could fall asleep, but no, it’s not possible.
"Baby..." You whisper, hoping it will be enough to wake him, but he just keeps snoring, each snore reverberating through your body.
"Toru...?" You try again, a little louder.
"SATORU!" Still nothing. He barely moves a bit in his sleep, letting out a particularly loud snore.
OK. Plan B. If you can't get him off, it's time to slide down. Only after two unsuccessful attempts, you somehow manage to do it, taking a big breath as you escape. You haven't even fully turned to the side when Satoru wakes up, confused and abandoned, with the source of warmth under him gone. He moves his hand aimlessly over the sheets until he feels you.
"Where are you going?" He murmurs sleepily, moving closer to you. "No..." A heavy arm wraps around you, pulling you back to him with ease. There’s a soft hum as he feels your body fit into his.
"Toru?" You call him sweetly. "You know I can't sleep like this, hmm? Come on." You pat his arm, signaling for him to let you go.
Satoru doesn't move. Instead, he just makes some whiny sounds before rubbing his face in your hair.
"Come on, let me go, please?" More pleading.
"Nuh-uh, I don't want to." He whines. "Hug me." He pouts, looking so needy and neglected.
"Love, you're acting like a baby" You complain.
"Because I am. I'm your baby!" He says defiantly. "So, you should treat me like one."
At this point, you know it won't help to try to convince him when he's in this mood. You sigh, deciding to give up and give in.
About five minutes pass in complete silence and then Satoru quietly asks: "You really can't sleep?" The thought of this now bothers him. How could he relax knowing that you're not even comfortable?
"Mhm" You respond as he pulls separates from you.
"OK, I'll give up the hug time for you!" He sighs, rolling away from you dramatically. A few minutes later, he sighs again, a bit louder.
This is his cue to tell you that you should give in and cuddle with him. But you can't, having finally found a position that relaxes all the right places in your body, perfect for falling asleep.
"Are you really going to leave me abandoned?" His voice is so stupidly captivating that it makes you melt. You can't say no to that.
Satoru smiles when he hears the rustling of the sheets, your body moving toward him.
With open arms, he welcomes you back as you rest your head on his chest. "I think I can sleep like this..." You admit as he smiles, making sure you're comfortable but still wrapped up in him.
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Hiii, long time no see, uh? 👀This time I brought something cute, a thought I had because I've been feeling so needy and missing our Gojo😞
(It is not well corrected, please ignore any possible mistakes.)
Your interaction is very important to me, reblogs and comments are always welcome. 🫶🏻💕
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yuukiiqwq · 8 months ago
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Satoru Gojo, the strongest, who cared only about dominating the court suddenly cared only about you. Him and his team were practicing for a game next week in the school gym when he noticed you sitting among the crowd of spectators. Whenever him and his team practice, the students in school will always come watch in their free time. He recognized some familiar faces, but you, he doesn't recognize you. He had never seen you here before, and something about you dragged his attention towards you.
Satoru, who never misses a shot when he has his hand on the ball, suddenly misses? Dead silence. His team stared at him with confusion and disbelief that the Satoru Gojo missed a shot. His best friend and teammate, Suguru, came up to him with concern in his eyes and asked– "Are you alright, Satoru?"
Satoru runs his hand through his hair and huffed out a fine to his best friend. What the fuck just happened to him? Must have been a fluke he said to himself as his eyes wandered towards the crowd who was gossiping about his failed shot. His eyes then wandered towards you who was staring right at him. His eyes widen when you caught him staring at you before quickly turning away. His heart racing in his chest in an uncontrollable pace. He noticed Suguru and his teammates still staring at him with concern in their eyes.
"C'mon, let's continue practice," he sighs. "I just got distracted. It won't happen again."
The team was reluctant to continue practice because no matter how distracted Gojo was, he had never missed a shot. He could practically play a game with his eyes closed and not miss, but all of a sudden, he missed? As practice continued, Satoru made no other mistakes. He didn't miss again, but every time he scores, his eyes always end up wandering towards you.
Fuck. What the fuck is happening to him? Why can't he stop his eyes from going towards you whenever he scores? Why is he so focused on the way your eyes light up in awe as he makes every shot? The way you wet your soft looking lips with your tongue as you stood at the edge of your seat. You were a sinful sight to behold.
When practice ended, Satoru quickly left the court to go to the locker room. As he pushed past his teammates, he noticed their confused expression. Their confusion was understandable because, normally, Satoru would be the last one to their locker room. Satoru loves attention, so he would always give out fan services when practice or a game ends. However, this time, Satoru was quickly pushing open the gym door to escape, and his eyes wander towards you one last time before completely exiting the gym. He doesn't like what he's feeling right now. It was suffocating, but it's ok, right? Today was just a one-time thing. Oh, how wrong he was.
Since that day, he noticed that you always were there during their practice. He knows you're not from his school because of your uniform, so who exactly were you? Who allowed you in? And why is it that he couldn't get enough of you? Why did you suddenly show up in his life out of nowhere?
Satoru sat down on the bench as the other continued the practice game, wiping his sweat with his towel as he secretly watched you. You who had his under some kind of spell. You who he hasn't spoken one word to since the day he saw you. He wanted you to say his name. Hear the syllables of his name come out of your soft looking lips. Gojo wasn't dumb. He just likes pretending to be, so it doesn't help that he knew exactly what was going on with him. He knew what he was feeling, and it was downright stupid. Fuck love at first sight. It shouldn't exist. He shouldn't want to kiss you. He doesn't even know your name! He groans as he run his hand through his hair again. He curse at himself before he felt something cold touch his cheeks.
"What caught your eyes, Captain?"
Satoru took the water bottle from Shoko's hand and took a big sip. "What are you doing here, Shoko? Don't you have that medical test or whatever to study for?"
Shoko rolled her eyes at his comment– "That was yesterday Gojo. So are you just going to ignore my question? Clearly, something is up for you to miss your shot a few days ago."
"No idea what you're talking about," Satoru replied as he fixed his hair. "Didn't miss nothing."
"Right. It's not like the whole school was gossiping about you missing for the first time."
"These people and their big mouths..." He mumbles. Funny coming from him since he himself would have done the same if the situation was flipped.
Shoko looked toward the place Gojo was eyeing and then saw you. She blinked once and then looked back at Gojo before huffing out a small laugh. Someone is going to be in for a surprise.
"That's his sister, y'know?"
"Not funny, Shoko," Satoru said before looking at Shoko's expression. She was serious. You and your brother look nothing alike. He sighs before mumbling a curse under his breath.
"Oh fuck indeed," Shoko laughs again as she turned towards the gym door. "Going to need some sweets?"
"Yeah, I'll pay you back later."
"Free of charge today. My compensation for this free entertainment. It's going to be an interesting few days." Satoru was now left to his own thoughts. He couldn't help but sigh at his predicament.
Satoru never got the chance to speak to you. Whenever he tries to go towards you, he stops and turns away. He couldn't help but be nervous when it comes to you. It's not his fault that he thinks he'll faint from hearing your voice. He'll talk to you one day when the opportunity arises. It seems fate had granted him his wish. Satoru had met you outside one morning right before his team game. You had accidentally bumped into him while rushing.
"Ouch!" You rubbed your nose from the sudden collision before looking up at him with your innocent and beautiful eyes. Oh fuck. Your voice was music to his ears. He just gone to heaven and what made it even worse was how you looked. Why the fuck do you look so pretty this early in the morning? He himself could barely get out of bed for today's game. His hair is messy and all over the place. His shirt is not all the way buttoned, and his tie is hanging loosely over his neck. If he didn't have a game today, he would be at school getting scold. He just looked like a mess compared to you. Sure, he is a hot mess right now, but this was not the impression he wanted to give when he talked to you. He listened to your endless apologies before interrupting with a question.
"You coming to the game?"
"Huh?" You stopped your apologies at his sudden question before his question clicked. You didn't know he noticed you during his practices. Your eyes instantly light up and grab his hand. "Yes, I am! I'm very excited since it's my first time witnessing a game! I've been to your practice for a while because of my brother's invitation. Oh, my brother is–"
As you continued your rambling, Satoru's eyes were fixated on the fact that you were holding his hands. Your small and soft hand holding his. He stopped your rambling by taking your hand and intertwining his fingers with yours. An intimate act. You looked up at him in confusion, and before you could say anything, he was tugging you along.
"Making sure you don't get lost on the way. Let's walk together to the stadium." An excuse to keep your hand in his even though you were practically strangers. He made sure you couldn't let go.
When the two of you finally arrived at the stadium, he had to let you go. He didn't want to let go, but he had to go towards the locker room so he could change into his game uniform.
"Name is Satoru Gojo. Call me Satoru. Let's hang out after the game today." He then brought your hand towards his lips and kissed it. His eyes moved up towards your eyes, holding your gaze as he whispered– "Keep your eyes on me." He then quickly left towards the locker room, his ears burning from his sudden boldness. While he can dominate the court, you have dominated his heart.
When he entered the locker room, his team was already getting ready for the big games. He quickly went to his locker beside his best friend and started to undress his school uniform. Suguru was already ready for the game, so he was sitting on the bench in the locker room, drinking some water.
"I'm in love with your sister," Satoru blurted out, causing Suguru to immediately spit out the water he was drinking. Confusion and disbelief were written all over his face.
"What?"
Part 2
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lollixp0p · 11 months ago
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The Video (18+)
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Pairing: Best friend!Hwang Hyunjin x afab!reader
Genre: Smut (MDNI), bit of feelings
Word count: just under 3k!
Warnings: Idol!au, subby!Hyunjin, slightly perv!reader, recording, (maybe a bit dub con because he doesn't mean to send it but reader watches it anyway), mommy kink, masturbation (both but separately), Hyunjin fantasizes about reader, reader fantasizes about Hyunjin, lmk if I missed anything!!
Summary: Hyunjin finally gets some alone time after weeks of hard work and decides to use his time to... relax. The next day he ends up sending you something on accident that sets off a big change in your lives, with or without either of you really realising.
Note: My first ever fic!! :3 Inspired by a video I saw on phub. (@cbini (Ems isn't on Tumblr rn she still wanted to be tagged so I hope it's ok), @comet-falls, @hyunsvngs, @mnwrld and @skz-hell lmao hello everyone, writing blog reveal!!😁 here's this fic I've mention to all of you as an anon<3 (depending on who you are I'm either ❄️anon, 🐾anon or sounding anon😳)). To anyone reading this please give me literally any feedback (comment, reblog, anything!), I want to know if this is good or not since it's my first fic🙏😣
Please do not under any circumstance copy, translate, or repost my works!
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It's been exactly three weeks since Hyunjin's had any time for just himself, though it feels like months at this point.
Recently everyone's been running around like headless chickens and between vocal trainings, dance practices and the studio, there hasn't been much time to just relax and recharge. Preparing for a new album really is the busiest time of an idols life.
There hasn't even been time to see family or friends, which is common during busy spells like this, but always dissapointing to think about. Now even more so, with how much he's been wishing to spend time with you, one of his closest friends... who also happens to be his crush. Not that he'd ever let you know though, not in a very long time.
It feels almost like a blessing, getting back to the dorms from practice late in the evening and realising... he's got the place all for himself, at least until his roommates get back from the studio.
Changbin had messaged him earlier, telling him that they'd probably be there well past midnight, so there was no use waiting up for them. To him though, this was the very opposite of an issue. With that much free time, he'd definitely be able to... make himself comfortable, so to speak.
See, not having time to relax also means he'd basically had no time to get off. The best he'd been able to do had been quick little sessions barely once a week in the shower right before passing out on his bed from the exhaustion of working hard.
The realisation that he'd be able to do anything he wants during his time alone is enough to get his dick twitching in his jeans and he decides the shower can wait until later.
Hyunjin goes to his room and locks the door after himself even though he's alone, it's just become a habit after so many years living with his members. He sets his bag down next to his bed and thinks through his plan.
Hyunjin has a little secret, which is that he loves recording himself do dirty things that range from more vanilla to much less vanilla. Something about the thrill of being recorded even if no one will ever see it just... makes him so fucking horny.
He opens the camera of his phone, puts it to video mode and presses record. Moving his hand off the lense and setting it down where he normally sets it, on the carefully placed pile of books on his desk, he sits down on his bed.
"Hmm... I hope the angle's good... It's been so long since I've had time for this", Hyunjin sighs with a pout and brushes his hair out of his eyes. He knows the camera won't see it though because he's made sure the stand, his pile of books, is at a level that cuts off his head perfectly.
Hyunjins hands run down his body slowly and he exhales deeply, just loud enough to get picked up by his phone. Once they reach his jeans he unbuttons them, unzips the zipper, then pulls the jeans down just enough to expose his underwear. Hyunjin pulls his shirt up over his stomach to be held in place under his chin, rubs his hand over his bulge and hums.
It's been so long since the last time he's been able to take his time making himself feel good. It's almost embarrassing how quickly he's getting hard.
He takes his dick out his boxers and then spits on the palm of his right hand. It's dirty and wet but it just turns him on even more. He grabs his dick with the hand and slowly moves his fist up and down, to spread the saliva and precum all over his dick to make the slide easier and wetter but to also get himself to full hardness.
"A-ah, ohh... that's so good... Feels-fuck, feels so good", Hyunjin sighs. It really won't take him too long to cum, he just knows it. He's been pent up for far too long.
He tries to think of something to help his issue and immediately thinks of you, no matter how embarrassed or dirty it makes him feel.
When you first started showing up in the dirtiest corners of his mind he felt so ashamed. Now it doesn't matter to him anymore. You'll never find out so why feel bad?
He continues to move his hand on his dick while thinking of you. The last time the two of you had time to hang out together you'd worn the lowest cut shirt he'd ever seen on you. He had tried so hard to act normal around you but whenever you bent down he'd been able to see into your shirt.
"Haah, fuck..." , he squeezes himself a little harder at the memory. Everytime you moved he could see your bra poking out from the top, black and lacy. The entire time he'd been doing his best to not bust in his pants. Oh, what he'd give to be able to see your tits. They always looked so soft and they'd probably fit perfectly into his palms.
Whenever the both of you would hang out at yours, watching movies and just hanging out, you never bothered to wear a bra. Why would you? It is your house where you want to be as comfortable as possible.
The feeling of laying down on your couch watching a movie with you on top of him, in just a t-shirt, will end up driving him mad one day. Everytime he'd felt your nipples poking into him he'd almost moaned out loud.
"Hngh... Oh my god, please... m-mommy!", he lets out pathetically, moving his fist faster. God he just wants you to use him, to do anything you want to him. The thought makes him whine desperately.
One of the most common fantasies for him is you on top of him using him to get off, not caring about if he's close or not. You'd sit on his face and ride it until you cum. He could probably cum untouched like that. All he'd need was tasting you and seeing you cum, just for him.
All the sudden he remembers the phone recording him and he shudders. He imagines what your reaction would be to seeing him like this. Would you be disgusted or delighted? Would you tell him what to do and how to touch himself? Maybe you'd touch him... He hopes you would.
"Mommy... please touch me, aah- oh!", he runs his thumb over the head of his cock just right and his thighs twitch but he keeps them open, in perfect view to the camera.
Throwing his head back he imagines you riding him. You'd be so tight and wet around him. Maybe you'd tie his hands behind his back so he wouldn't be able to touch you... he'd really like that. You'd feel godly around him, Hyunjin thinks.
"Fuck, oh fuck! Mommy I'm-haah, I'm so close, please!", his dick twitches desperately. You're so gorgeous, to him you're the sexiest person he's ever seen. He feels himself getting so close that tears spring to his eyes.
"Ah- 'm gonna... mommy, gonna cum...!", he whines out long and loud. It takes Hyunjin two more strokes to let go and he cums the hardest he's cum in weeks. He doesn't even register whispering your name. Hyunjin leans back on his left hand and keeps stroking himself through it.
The feeling is overwhelming, so much so that his thighs start twitching pathetically and the tears in the corners of his eyes fall. He's getting incredibly overstimulated but he keeps going, wanting to keep enjoying the feeling, just a bit more.
He squeezes himself one last time and suddenly everything on him feels gross and dirty. He's just had the best orgasm in weeks so it's no surprise that he came a lot, everywhere. He even managed to get some on his chin.
"Fuuck... Did you-haah... did you enjoy that?", he chuckles to the phone. It takes a while for him to come down from the high, the twitchiness and the feeling of euphoria lingering in his body. Once he's capable of standing up again he stops the video.
With his body feeling like jelly, he takes off all his clothes, drops them into his hamper and prepares to shower, at last.
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Hyunjin wakes up to his alarm the next day feeling more refreshed than he's felt in weeks. He shuts off the still ringing alarm and quickly gets up from his bed to get dressed and go eat breakfast.
Checking the calendar on his phone to make sure he knows his schedule for today, he makes a note of one thing; he'd have a lot of time alone at the dorms today too, since he's only got a dance practice and a recording session today, which obviously means 3racha will stay behind to stress about their songs while Hyunjin can return early. Maybe this time he should continue the latest piece of art he's been working on after he gets back?
Hyunjin gets through the day well enough.
After eating breakfast he messages you a "Good morning pretty <3 please remember to drink water!" like every morning when he has time for it. He gets to the practice room only five minutes late, which is a record this early in the morning, because usually he ends up sleeping in at least ten minutes (which makes Chan scold him for being such a heavy sleeper).
He does well at practice, even though he ends up a little exhausted. That's nothing new though, with how hard they always work to be the best they can be.
The rest of the members leave to take a break but Hyunjin decides to stay behind to film the solo choreography he's been working on for fun. Once he's happy with how it's turned out, it's time for him to go record his lines.
The recording session goes smoothly, without hundreds of retakes and everyone's satisfied with the result. Afterwards they decide to order some take-out, as a reward for a job well done... and also because they're all feeling too lazy to even think about going to the dorms to cook.
While eating Hyunjin finally realises to check his phone again. "Good morning, take care of yourself too!! :)" is your response to what he sent earlier. It's nothing more than a kind response but it makes him grin to himself like the fool in love he is.
"Yaaah!! Hyunjinnieee, what's making you smile so beautifully?", Changbin leans towards him with his signature flirting-with-Hyunjin grin, mouth half full of rice.
"It's nothing," Hyunjin responds back to him cheeks red, "and don't talk with your mouth full hyung... Do you not have any respect?"
Changbin decides to drop it in favor of eating more delicious food.
"Oh come on... we wanna know!!", Han pouts at him from his seat on the couch in the room. Hyunjin shoves another mouthful of food in his mouth to avoid the embarrassement of explaining how a single text messaged from you manages to make his heart beat out of his chest.
Once Hyunjin's done eating he's free to go back to the dorms and just like he suspected the rest of his dormmates stay behind to work some more, although they all whine at him to stay to explain the previous mystery. He declines and they all keep their sad puppydog eyes on him until he's out the door.
He keeps texting you during his ride, all the way to the dorms. Once he's in his room Hyunjin decides to just change into some clean clothes. He's too excited to talk to you and get to painting, he can wash up later.
He lays in his bed to keep texting you and at some point your conversation changes from how your day's been going to talking about dancing and he mentions how he just today filmed a new choreography bit he's made for fun.
❣️:
Can I see what you've been working on? :)
I'm sure it's really good, you always are!!
Jinnie:
Well... since you asked so nicely😉
[video sent]
Quickly sending the video Hyunjin exits out the messaging app, feeling so giddy he can't help but squirm around on his bed. He still can't believe someone like you could be interested in seeing him dance.
It might seem like a small thing for most but he feels himself turning red just thinking about the way you look at him while he talks about something so important to him. It makes the butterflies in his stomach every time you're near go crazy. It's so attentive, like you actually care and are interested in his interests... and maybe even...?
'No' , he thinks to himself. There's probably no way you could ever actually be interested in him, not in the same way he's interested in you at least.
He leaves his phone charging and finally gets out of bed to go to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. He'd need it if he wanted to stay up late to work on his newest art piece.
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Hearing the familiar 'ping' notification of receiving a message makes you open your phone again and just like you thought, Hyunjin had sent you the video of his latest masterpiece of a choreography. Not waiting a second you press the video just to see.... Hyunjin take his hand off the camera and set the phone down on the desk in his room he draws on. He sits down on the edge of his bed and says something, you aren't really sure what, because the volume's too low. In confusion you turn it up more.
Hyunjin sighs and reaches up to move his hair out his face, probably. You can't see it though, because the camera cuts his face perfectly off frame. Suddenly his hands run down his body to the button on his jeans. He opens it and starts undoing the zipper next. You just look at the video in shock. 'He isn't about to... to take them off is he?', you think to yourself, just as he pulls the jeans down enough to expose his white boxers and then palms his bulge.
Should you stop watching? Keep watching? How long has it even been playing? How long does it keep playing? While you wonder this you almost miss Hyunjin pull his hard dick out of his underwear and spit on his palm and... Oh God...
You've now done something you can never take back. The downright sinful view of his cock is something you don't think you're ever going to be able to forget. How do you even face him after this? After watching him grasp his dick in his hand and pump it a couple of times to spread the spit and precum around.
You exit the video, panting and absolutely soaking through your underwear. Your other hand rushes to your face to feel your cheeks. They're burning and feel like you've been standing out in the sun for hours, when in reality all you've done is accidentally watch your best friend play with himself.
You struggle to decide what to do with the video and in the end save the video without much thinking, then delete the message of it and decide to notify him of his mistake. As long as he doesn't know you saved it, it should be fine, right?
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It takes Hyunjin less than 10 minutes to make and get the coffee. He returns to his room humming the tune of a song he's had on repeat recently. Setting the coffee down on the desk and taking his phone off from the charger he notices new messages from you.
❣️:
Uhm...😕
Hyunjin, I don't think you meant to send that.
He looks at his screen confused. What did you mean by that? He...
Oh God.
Did he send the wrong video?
Frantically opening the video he sent earlier he sees himself, in video, move his hand off the phone camera and set it down the desk near his bed and sit down. Oh no...
"Hmm... I hope the angle's good... It's been so long since I've had time for this", video Hyunjin sighs and reaches up to move his hair from his eyes. His head may be out of frame but he clearly remembers pouting while saying this. He watches himself slowly unbutton and unzip his pants, adjusting them so that his boxers are clearly visible in frame. In the video his hand drifts towards his crotch slowly, teasingly.
He quickly exits the video and promptly shoves his head under his pillow and yells. He'd accidentally sent the wrong video while hurrying to get a cup of coffee. How could he have messed up this bad? In his panic, it takes him a moment to respond.
Jinnie:
Oh god
I'm so sorry!!
Please don't watch that!
❣️:
Don't worry!!!
I stopped watching the moment you started unzipping your pants😖
I saw nothing, promise!🙏 It's been deleted already!! 
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Little does he know though, you'd kept the video. You're not really sure why, but subconciously your brain keeps screaming' to finish it later, of course'.
...
Fuck it, you don't think you can wait until later.
Taking a deep breath, you open your gallery to find the video he sent you. You hesitate for a second but press play anyway. You can feel how you're already soaking through your underwear but pay no mind to it yet.
You watch him do the things you've seen already, all the way until he spits in his hand... and you pause the video. 'Is it right to watch this? I mean, he didn't mean to even send it...', you think to yourself.
But the thought of seeing him touch himself, to hear him make the sweetest noises you could ever in your wildest dreams imagine him making drives you on.
Pressing play again you dip your fingers into your pants. You rub yourself over your underwear and oh my god... you can't believe the wetness you feel after less than a minute of watching the video. You focus on the phone you're holding in your other hand and finally move your fingers into your underwear to directly touch your pussy.
On your screen you see Hyunjin start to stroke himself faster, the head of his dick a dark pink, you can feel his desperation through the screen. Without thinking you move your fingers to your clit and start rubbing it in circles, aided by the wetness of your leaking pussy.
He moans out loud and even though you can't hear it through the fog in your head, you know he's desperate. You move your fingers down to your hole and dip two of them in. You're so wet you barely need to even stretch yourself out and then he does it.
"Hngh... Oh my god, please... m-mommy!"
You push your fingers deeper and your pussy lets out he lewdest squelch which in turn makes you close your eyes desperately in pleasure. 'Mommy? When he masturbates he calls out for mommy??', the thought makes you lose your mind. You think about what it would be like if he called you mommy in the throes of pleasure.
You want to make him follow every command you give him. The way he'd look up at you on his knees with you standing above him. Maybe you could make him suck on a strap? He'd look so ridiculously delicious with his mouth full, drool dripping down his cheeks.
You add another finger and start rubbing at your clit with your thumb at the same time. The feeling makes you whimper and imagine his hands on you, teaching him how to touch you perfectly. You're getting so close and you remember to focus your screen again.
Hyunjin looks absolutely disheveled. His dick is red and throbbing, you can tell he's getting close. His voice is another thing that gives him away. He's whiny and his voice keeps cracking every time he opens his mouth. Hyunjin bucks into his hand and moans.
"... mommy, gonna cum...!", he strokes himself twice more and then finally cums. You're so close it's maddening. All the sudden you hear him... whisper your name?
It makes you go off the edge and your entire body clenches and seizes while you silently cry out from all the pleasure you're feeling. Your walls suck in your fingers with how you're clenching around them. On the screen Hyunjin twitches violently, working himself through the end of his orgasm.
You pull your fingers out of yourself and slump down on your bed exhausted, but the last 20 seconds of the video that's now over haunts you. Did you hear him right?
You gather strength to pick up your phone again and rewind the video to the part where he cums and turn the volume almost all the way up. Admittedly you end up fixating on the way his dick looks and face twists in pleasure when he cums and then he says, or more like whisper your name. Your brain blanks.
"Fuuck... Did you-haah... did you enjoy that?", he chuckles to the phone, sits in place for a bit to properly come down and then gets up to stop the video.
You're wet, confused and you can feel your heart beat out of your chest. What do you do now? How can you ever face him normally after that... Does he feel the same way you do? Is he sure he didn't mean to send it?
It's all too much to think about, so you decide that instead of thinking about it you'll clean yourself up and... crawl into a hole where no one will ever find you. Probably. The only thing you know for sure is you definitely won't be sleeping tonight.
© lollixp0p 2024 | please do not under any circumstance copy, translate, or repost my works
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moonlesslights · 2 years ago
Text
Two Idiots in Love
Miguel O'Hara x Reader
Warnings: Sex, P in V, choking, breeding kink, innuendos, Miguel it's fucking hard to talk to.
A/N: Hope you enjoy this, I haven't sleep well for three days trying to get it done, but it's finally here. Love y'all xoxox
━━━━━━✧❂✧━━━━━━
Ok, but what about you becoming an Spider just about a year ago?
You are managing just fine.
Things got nasty for a while, that’s true. Your uncle died, your new responsibilities caught up on you, you almost die fighting some bad guys on your first months… And now you just try to eat three times a day (sometimes it doesn’t happen), pray to get more than six hours of sleep and do good in college.
But then, out of fucking nowhere, just when you were making peace with what your life was now and who you are, your identity, your place in this big ass world where you were completely alone to bear this double life… This giant prick with sullen face and cheeks the size of the moon comes into your life to tell you you’re not alone, everyone here has experienced the same or worse, stop being so dramatic.
So, in a second, your protagonist moment turns to you finding out there were thousands like you out there. And your whole life goes upside down.
Because now you don’t have to protect and look out only for your Earth, your city; but everyone else’s too. You have to travel to the most craziest worlds you could’ve ever imagine and fight horrible creatures you couldn’t even conceive its existence. And to make things even worst, Mr. Wide Hindquarters took an special hold of you to help him out with anything he would be ‘to busy’ to do. Like inform new recruits about their missions, filling out reports, doing research either respecting to what he occupied in the laboratory or to some universe yet to be explored… Whatever he needed, you would be called in to do it.
Some Spiders told you you were lucky, not many could work that close to Miguel, let alone being in charge of so many things without screwing something up and getting ‘their head ripped’. Even Lyla tells you that you’re something special, specially on the hard days, that’s why Miguel trusts you so much. After that you would just smile tiredly at her, whispering it was okay. Then Lyla would go face Miguel and demand him with a raised eyebrow to give you a break.
You manage for a few months, surrendering yourself to this strange routine. And your even more strange companion.
Every day you walk in to his space, every day he is already there. You turn a personal mission to arrive before he does. You never make it. The man apparently didn’t sleep and you aren’t waking the fuck up at 3:00am to prove a point or find out. So you let it be as another mystery to be solved.
“Good morning.” You wave your hand at him, making your presence known with that. Sometimes between a yawn, sometimes still cleaning the sleepiness off of your eyes.
“Good morning…” He always adds your last name to his greetings. It makes you feel like you are being scolded. Most of the time he is at the tables, working through the screens; if he’s not there, he’s at the lab, measuring substances with the help of crystal clear instruments.
Without looking at you, he points with his chin to the steaming coffee under the express machine. Through the weeks he has learned exactly how you like it. The first ones he made you were exactly like his: Awful. That couldn’t be drinkable. But you thought it was nice of him to always have hot coffee for you, so you didn’t say anything. But the faces you made at every sip were worth a thousand words.
Now, as you drink today’s, you cannot avoid thinking how cute that big stoic man must look every morning pouring the exact amount of sugar and cream you like into the cup. Moving the liquid with a tiny spoon until is all mixed.
He doesn’t talk much.
No more than orders and “Go home” followed by a “Good night”. You let him be for the first weeks. Not your business. But after the first month you knew you would go crazy if you continued this way of living.
You needed to talk to him. You needed to make things less awkward. He was your only human contact sometimes for entire days, and you cannot stand the fact of barely talking to him.
You don’t have idea how does the term “coworkers” serves on his Earth, but in yours, Human Relationships are encouraged to happen for the sake of teamwork.
With that very idea well tangled on your mind, one of those long days, you take a deep breath, imagine him naked (which isn’t difficult to be honest), stare deep into the space and say:
“Sohowhaveyoubeen?” Squeaking as fast as you can.
Miguel stops whatever the hell he is doing and turns his head to the right, side eyeing you with a raised eyebrow. You don’t even look at him, continuing to fill the document in front of you with the most unstable smile he could have seen in his entire life. Then, he turns around again, coming back to typing into one of the screens. You almost think he has completely ignored you until he answers in another fast and neutral line:
“I’m good.”
You give him an acknowledging nod, smiling softly and returning to your duties.
You had never wished so much to be victim of a lost bullet. Like right now. Like right fucking now. Please.
For one more week you took another personal mission: making a question a day.
“How was your day?”, “Did you have breakfast?”, “How was yesterday’s mission?”… It would be a good day if you got more than a monosyllable for answer. It was embarrassing, really. And Lyla looking at you with a grimace made it ten times worst.
After that, you just came in the eighth day and remained silent, focused in finishing all your work as soon as possible rather than trying to make your prick boss to talk to you. You felt bad, actually. Maybe he just doesn't like to talk, maybe you were making him uncomfortable, maybe... Maybe he's just an arse. Yeah, that is probably the right...
"Hm? Uh, what... What is this?" You look up from your tablet, facing the broad of his back walking to the desk at the other side of the room. You raise an eyebrow at the small cardboard box in front of you, the one that Miguel just left there.
"Food." He says as answering the very question to the origin of the universe.
"For me?" You tilt your head and he looks at you like you were stupid. You frown. How were you supposed to know that, when he barely even looks at you?!
"I did too much." He explains. "... So I brought you some. You can throw it away if you don't want it."
You look down at the box again, watching it as the weirdest of things, and cannot help the little smile that creeps up to your lips. You knew Miguel didn't eat at the HQ cafeteria, since he owns an apartment close from here, so this was completely homemade. Hm, you never thought he was into cooking.
"Why can't I give it to someone else if I don't like it?" You respond with an easy smile, almost teasing him.
"Throw it." He sentences without even looking back at you.
You side eye Lyla at your left, who winks at you. This is a whole ass victory. And you and the little hologram girl knew internally Miguel did not like the day you decided to stop trying to talk to him.
"Thank you." You finally murmur. "I really appreciate it."
"It's just leftovers..."
You nod, pursing your lips and… Still smiling. Fuck it. It was obvious he was going to dismiss it with something like that.
None of you says anything else for the rest of the day, but you make the choice to keep trying on the small talk every day and Miguel, apparently, started to mess up the amount of ingredients for his meals and brings leftovers almost daily.
You continue with this new routine for another couple of weeks.
With the time passing, you gain more and more confidence to talk to the big guy. Most of the times he doesn’t engage in the conversation, it is just you saying your thoughts out loud and telling him everything about your life at college, 'till the point he has a personal beef with some of your classmates. I mean, he doesn’t say it but he surely grunts under his breath every time you mention their name.
Gwen did asked you at some point if he really listened to you or if he just... Left you. You wondered the same for exactly... two hours.
"... And I handed him my essay, right? And he looks at me and says: 'So are you going to tell me who is helping you with these or am I going to find out myself?' So I obviously told him nobody was helping me, I just like doing them. And he freaking threatened me saying that if he founds out he's going to fail me. Like... He doesn't even listens. Agh, he hates me..."
"Is the same one who got angry because you were late to his lecture about himself and his recently published book?" That was a week ago. And he remembered.
You nod, sighing. Miguel clicks his tongue, shaking his head with disapproval.
He might not be talkative (at least for now) but he listens to you. You have no doubt left about that. He may not say a single word while you drop a hundred for minute, but he would come the next day asking "How was the test?" or would know you have classes with that professor and add to his daily good night a soft "Good luck tomorrow." You even start catching him lifting the left corner of his lips when you drop a bad joke about all the things you need to get done by the end of the day or about something you heard on your way there.
You noticed it when certain Spider came in to a meeting, a Spider two days ago you and Miguel had gossiped about because you were told something by your friends on Wednesday, Miguel heard some more on Thursday and with a final comment you put the pieces together on Friday, looking at him with a wide proud open mouth as he shook his head with a soft chuckle. Talking to the Spider in question Miguel would turn to you with the most neutral and blank expression and you would still fight to hide your smile at the memory of everything you found out during the week. No one ever noticed and you liked it. Miguel liked it. It was like a private joke only the two of you could share.
"But what would happen?" This was the part Miguel didn't like. "Like, how would you know I would fuck up something?"
"You cannot give Noir a kaleidoscope." He sentences, giving you another raised eyebrow.
You were in the middle of the daily session of Instructive and Informative questions, according to Lyla and you. Miguel prefers to call them Destructive and Irritating.
After today's mission you had taken a particular soft spot fo the black and white Spider, to the misfortune of your boss. So the whole session has been about the long shot of taking special gifts from your dimension to him.
"But why? Really, what's the worst that could happen if I just give him a tiny little kaleidoscope?"
"Ay, Dios, dame paciencia... You already gave him a rainbow slinky spring toy, why do you keep insisting on gifting him more stuff?"
He fix his gaze on you as you lower your eyes down to your lap, fidgeting with your fingers. "... He just looks happy when he sees color."
Miguel sighs, pressing the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger.
"I know, but every one of us needs to respect the natural order of our Earth. He shouldn't keep taking things with him that shouldn't be there, do you understand?"
"But..."
"No more 'but's'. I want those reports done by the end of the day." Miguel returns his eyes back to the screen in front of him, dismissing you just with that action. "Get to work instead of keep losing our time with this."
He hates the way you comply to his orders. Hates the way you leave the space beside him empty to go working at the other side of the room, where he can only see your back. He hates when you refuse him to see your face.
The human part in him hates the questioning sessions because they always end up with your heart too big for your own good, crushed a little bit more. The human part in him is what brings him closer to you after a few minutes, talking you through some trivial topics until he can convince you it is all not as bad a it seems, until you smile again when you insist it's okay, that you just needed a minute, that you understand. And he might o might not tell you can give Noir that fucking kaleidoscope if you want it so much.
But some deep and primal part in him whispers into his veins to walk up to you, take you by your jaw, forcing you to look up at him and order you you better not refuse your face to him one more single time again. That if he wishes to see your eyes, the curve of your nose or your lips, you better fucking show them to him... Every day. Every. Time. He. Wants. To.
He gets frustrated when he catches himself in the middle of those thoughts, of the drives. He has been able to control it magnificently 'till now. But he fears the day he won't.
For another while you enjoyed the 'leftovers' brought to you too. But it also came to happen the one day, they stopped being leftovers:
You yawn as you make your way to the exit of the lab, making sure your alarm for tomorrow is correctly scheduled, you can not afford another harsh look from your professors one more time. The building has fallen silent already; most of its ordinary inhabitants have already retired to their rooms or to their home worlds.
Miguel walks up to you from behind, watching you standing at the door. Neither of them managed to see even a ray of sun today. He didn't care, he had something much better to watch all day… But he can't help but sigh at the thought of taking it from you.
"Italian or Mexican?" You turn to look at him, barely catching what he said. Both of your brows furrow and he glares at you while adjusting the neck of his jacket on. "For tomorrow's lunch. You want me to bring Italian or Mexican?"
"Oh, uhm..." You widen your eyes, surprised by the consideration. Pursing your lips and squinting, you think about it for a second, but the only possible answer comes immediately after: "Mexican."
"Hm." He nods, fixing his eyes to the front again.
Both start walking now towards the exit of the building. You know you can open your portal to go back home now, but you refuse to do so. Miguel knows there's an exit on the other side of the lab that leads him to a closer path to his apartment, but he refuses to take it. Because you always take this one.
"It's getting chilly." You whisper, watching the first snowflakes of the season falling on the other side of the big windows in the lobby. Miguel hums in response. "I like it, though. The first month working with you I had to carry a fan with me everywhere. I am so sorry for the cost of the electricity bill back then."
Miguel tugs at one corner of his lips, but only that. You tilt your head, glaring at him for a second before you take two fast steps to put yourself in front of him. The poor man has to stick his feet to the floor to avoid knocking over you.
He frowns, confused, and you look up at him with those same eyes filled with determination you put on when you look at the cookies he always -purposely- leaves on top of the highest cupboard in his office. He could only describe it as the face of a master plan, because you would always come back with ideas to get them down without asking him for help. And he loved to play guess with what you would do this time.
"Smile for me." You ask as you were some kind of cameraman, and if he was confused before he's into a new level now.
"What?"
"Y'know..." You bring both of your index fingers to the opposite sides of your face and part your own lips into a simple smile, like showing him what he was supposed to do.
"I know what smiling is." He frowns. "Why do you want me to do it?"
You shrug. "I just... I would be really happy to see it."
Miguel's expression remains unfazed, but he prays to every God out there you can't listen how hard his heart jumped inside his chest when your words reached him.
He swallows. His eyes fix on you and he brings both of the corners of his mouth up, exposing bright teeth and two big fangs that brush on his lower lip in the most precious awkward smile you could have ever seen. His brows are drawn together and he looks like he's in pain, and you know that even if a fucking meteor crashed down in the city right now, you still wouldn't be able to look away.
You clear your throat and lament how his smile is gone as soon as it came. You brush your hand at the back at your neck, nervous, fucking ashamed of your imprudence. Miguel raises an eyebrow at your reaction.
"Thank you. That was nice of you." You smile, avoiding his eyes and solely focusing on the snow awaiting for you. "I'm sorry if it was unpleasant for you. I didn't mean..."
Your words get caught up in your throat when you suddenly feel the texture of fabric coming around your neck. You turn back to look at the front again only to find Miguel tugging his scarf on you, with his fingers making sure it hugged every part of your skin your sweater couldn't.
"Miguel, no. It's even colder here than on my Earth. You need this more than I do." You frown with a worried expression washing over your features.
"You'll come back tomorrow pretty early. And it's going to be cold." You could try and argue about you having your own scarfs to bring tomorrow with you, but his eyes tell you he is not asking.
"... Thank you."
Miguel laments the moment your turn around, laments the moment you don't look at him anymore. He is sure the smile from a minute ago hadn't been anywhere near one of his best, and yet your eyes shone with the light of all the moons he's seen in all of the Earths he has visited.
And as you do a little wave when you start walking away before entering your portal, Miguel waves back, slowly and with only two unsure swings of his wrist. It was enough to make you smile anyway. It was enough to keep him standing there even after you were long gone wondering what the hell he was doing.
When Miguel began to bring food made specially to share, you began to bring desserts from your Earth for him to try.
You both started having lunch together after you told him how tired you were of eating while standing. Don't get me wrong, when you first told him he 'offered' you to go eat at the cafeteria if you wanted it so much. But when he dismisses you for the second time the next day with a 15 minute break to go find somewhere to sit, you, instead, sit down reluctantly at the very center of his work space, just a few meters behind him.
Miguel has to do a fucking double take to make sure he is seeing right before turning around at you calmly crossing your legs on the floor and unboxing today's meal with abrupt and resigned movements.
"Could you be so kind as to explain to me what you are doing?" He tilts his head with amusement when you take the first bite of your food.
"Eating."
"Sitting on the floor?" He raises an eyebrow.
"Sitting on the floor." You nod.
"Care to explain why?" He crosses his arms, pursing his lips when you refuse to raise your eyes at him.
"... Because of you." You murmur, taking another unnecessarily aggressive bite.
"Elaborate, please."
You keep on looking down, chewing the morsel in your mouth. Miguel awaits for you with well known experienced patience. By now, he recognizes when you are mad at him or the world, he sees how you fight to keep calm inside of all of this mess, that's why he always tries to encourage you to talk out the things that bother you, because he's there, he can listen; because he likes the way you smile after you let it all out.
And maybe...
"I don't care about eat sitting comfortably at the cafeteria. I want to eat with you. So if you want to stay here be my fucking guest. I'm staying here too."
Because you were the only one who could throw a tantrum at Miguel O'Hara without flinching.
You have earned that right. You didn't know when, because you insist you don't throw tantrums at him; you're a college student, basically an adult, you don't do tantrums. And still...
"Fine, spoiled girl..." He sighs, walking to get his own little box from the table and then coming to close the space between the two with a few long steps. He sits down right beside you, imitating the way you're crossing your legs. "If you want to eat on the floor, we can eat on the floor."
"I'm not spoiled." You hiss, giving him a deadly side eye that puts on a soft, almost unnoticeable grin on his face. Lyla had made fun of him a few days ago about him spoiling you, but instead of getting on his nerves he took a liking for the nickname. And now you suffer the consequences of it all. "And we wouldn't be eating on the floor if you decided to go to the cafeteria for once."
"... I hate talking to people."
You sigh, nodding. That's exactly why you never push him to do anything of that sort.
"I know." You turn to look at him out of the corner of your eye, noticing how he keeps his head low while eating. "Hey" You call for his attention, smiling. He blinks up to you, tilting his head. "It's okay." Your shoulder drops to his arm. "I like being here. I'm not stuck with you, you're stuck with me."
That makes his eyes catch a little bit more of light.
"Thank you." He whispers.
You stare at him for a second more and he fights to put all of the mess inside his head, his feelings, into his tongue... But he can't. You continue eating, and he knows you would never hold a grudge on him for it, and he's so thankful for that, for you being able to understand the way his actions speak when his words can't. But he still aches at the thought of never being able to tell you everything he wants.
The next morning you walk in to find out a new cleared space beside the screens with an elegant glass table and two chairs. It surely looked expensive, like everything he does and has, but for you, it's just the little corner where you can leave that particular cake from your Earth he seems to like so much, and then go to the laboratory to see the cake you seemed to like so much.
After two more weeks enjoying the day-to-day in the usual things in your life, you and Miguel got to a mission which revealed as the true calmness before the storm.
The anomaly you had fought was stronger than expected, more aggressive, more letal. Everyone had run lucky at least two times to escape from its claws, but you can still remember their closeness, the screams, the sirens at the distance. It all almost ends up with another canonic event altered.
"There's always a first time." Jessica had told you when you finally finished off the anomaly. She was worried about you, and you can't blame her. You haven't even registered how bad you were trembling until it was all over.
"Is there going to be a last time?" You replied, looking up at her with big eyes. And Miguel, only a few meters behind you, still trying to give some last orders to every Spider there, felt his heart breaking at the very sound of your words.
Nevertheless, thankfully, the universe remained perfectly fine and just a couple of hours later everyone was back home safely again. Most returned immediately to their Home Earths, but you, Miguel, Jessica, Lyla and a couple more had ten thousand things to do in the HQ before calling it a day.
"I thought I told you to go home an hour ago." Miguel points, coming from behind you.
You turn your head to look up at him and you can't not smile at the sight. The feeling of safeness that floods you when you see his huge figure entering any room hasn't wavered for a single second. He's still that solid ground you can always rest on when the world is to heavy to carry alone.
"I'm serious. What are you doing here?" He continues, grunting in pain when he drops his weight beside you. You turn to him, furrowing your brows in worry again. He had seen that expression in you so often today... And he hates it so much. "I'm okay. Just little scratches here and there."
You withdrawn your feet from the edge of the building where you had them hanging for an hour now and crawl your way to him, sitting down on your knees to try to be eye height with him.
Your right hand wanders to his bruised neck, there where the anomaly had left his horrible mark of the violence it brought within. You follow with your index the way the clotted blood draws on his skin, sending shivers down his spine.
"Does it hurt?" You ask.
"No." He responds in between goosebumps.
He loves the effect your touch has on him. He loves your little hands looking for him, tugging at his clothes to call for his attention, brushing against his when you pass him the tablet, documents, anything. He loves the busy days where he doesn't have time to eat, where he wouldn't eat if it wasn't for you sitting beside him as he works on the screens, you scrolling through your cellphone, taking little pieces of food with a spoon or a fork to bring them closer to his mouth so he could eat without even taking his eyes off the screen.
Ridiculous? Yeah. But he loved the intimacy within. The many forms your soft hands could soothe him.
But his? He hated them. He was scared of them. Their only use was to destruct, to tear flesh apart, not to...
"Show me." He asks, pointing with his chin at your left hand placed softly above your thigh.
"It's nothing."
"Let me see it." He insist and you carefully bring your arm up, placing your fingers against his when he holds out his hand for you. Your whole palm is bandaged, the work the doctor did on you was amazing, but he can still see dried blood on it.
He doesn't say anything when he finds your eyes on him, conflicted, hesitant. There is so much between both of you, so much unsaid, so much still to do. But he sees your doubt, he hates to be the cause of it. He stays still, but he wants to scream at you, to make your little head understand: "How can't you see?! Can't you see how much you mean to me?! You're the only thing in my mind when I'm fighting, because I know I have to win, I have to get out alive to see you again. Eres lo único por lo que mi corazón llama!... Can't you not hear it?"
Instead, the tips of his fingers brush on your skin, his eyes reflecting every single light of the city below.
"Come." It's only a whisper that leaves his mouth, and you need nothing more to jump into his embrace with a desperate sigh, immediately cuddling yourself up on his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck, looking for his warm.
Hold.
He loves to hold you.
His hands serve to hold you.
To hold you against him, to protect you from anyone who wants to rip you away from his arms. To keep you warm, to keep you safe, to let you know you're home.
"Aquí estoy." He whispers.
"I know." You reply.
You breath into his scent for a couple of minutes more, until the screams and the sirens fell low to the sound of Miguel's chest going up and down in a soothing swing, his breathing, turning into the only thing you could listen to.
By the time you got your head out of his neck, he was already waiting for you with a soft smile, smile that puts your attention on the deep cut on his lower lip.
"What happened?" You ask, carefully pulling from his flesh to see the whole extension of the wound.
He sighs, closing his eyes with embarrassment. "I bit myself during the fight."
You smile, shaking your head. Your fingernail taps against the right fang in question, testing the edge by gently pressing the tip into your fingertip.
"I hate them." Miguel breaths out. His eyes are now so dim that you struggle to say where are they looking at in the middle of the night darkness.
"Why?" You whisper, taking your finger back at his lip.
"Because I fear of them. I fear they'll hurt you like they hurt me."
You purse your lips and then take his hand placed on your hip, looking back at him with raised eyebrows.
"Is the same with these?"
He nods.
"They are made to kill. I have done so many horrible things with, caused so much damage and pain, I..."
"Did you know I'm scared of heights?" His trail of words stop at your interruption. You smile, looking down from the edge, turning away form him just a little. "Ironic, for a Spider. But I still fight with it every single day. I always get so sticky when I'm on top of a building for too long it's embarrassing but..." You raise your hand in front of him, waving your fingers with a playful smile. "I'm not sticky now. And that it's because you're holding me." You cup his face. "Those things you're afraid of, are part of the person I love. And I wouldn't change a single thing."
"Mi cielo..."
"I knew what I was getting into when I decided to love you, Miguel, so don't get all soft now. I'm not going anywhere..." You whisper. "Make me bleed."
He would be lying if he said he haven't thought about it, that he haven't succumbed to his most animalistic urges when alone in the privacy of his room, pretending it was you around his cock and not his fist. He wanted to bite, he wanted to fill you. And he wanted to tear apart with his bare talons anyone and anything that got in his way.
A part of him might be scared to hurt you, yes.
But a bigger part of him was actually scared of what he would do to keep you safe. Of what he's capable of... to keep you his.
He feels sorry for you when you cuddle against his chest in your sleep as he stands up and starts walking back inside the building, covering you with his jacket to protect from the cold wind of the city for when he swings back to his apartment with you in his arms.
He feels sorry for the innocence in your love.
Like a beast, that's what he was. A beast who loved the softness in your touch, the kind in your words. But cannot return the same love. The beast is possessive, jealous of the very air that caresses your hair. And it may act vulnerable only to you, letting you get as close to slaughter him, but knowing you'll place a kiss instead. The beast would hold you as his own treasure, a creature that must not be hurt, not even for his own hands. He would cut them off before.
He would cut them off from anyone before they touch you. For no one should ever touch what he decided, that very morning you asked how he had been, would belong to him.
AND EVERYTHING WOULD HAVE CONTINUED ON GOING SO SMOOTHLY... BUT THE DAAAAAAAAMN FINALS, ah, made their entrance.
You barely have time to sleep, to eat, to fucking breathe. Your levels of anxiety are higher than the HQ damn building and your brain is so overworked you cannot do more than what you're asked to in autopilot. You know that you're only going to be like this for approximately another two weeks, but your poor lover has suffered the last four days thinking you're sick, or sad, or worse... Mad at him. No, not in that order.
"Arañita..." He calls for you. Your hand moving over your notebook at one hundred km per hour concerns him.
"The reports are done. Peter from -5266 and Hugh from -1993 are out right now. They should be getting back at any minute. Anomaly #125 was sent to its original universe this morning." You push the tablet to him with your free hand without even looking up or slowing down your writing.
"Thank you, but..." He tilts his head, furrowing his brows. "Are you okay?"
"Yes. I just need to get this done before four. By the way, can I leave early today? I need to study for tomorrow's test."
"Again? Didn't you have one yesterday?"
"Yes. We're on finals, Miguel. We tend to have a lot of them these days. That's why I'm losing my mind over here."
"Just for some tests?" You have to stop yourself to remind you it's not his fault to be smart. It's not his fault being more intelligent than almost every person you knew. It's not his fault he doesn't know what is to struggle on school. It's not his fault, It's not his fault, It's not his fault... "You haven't even touched your food." He says, looking at the little box he got you with the meal now cold.
"I... I know. I'm sorry, Mig." You sigh, looking up at him for the first time in the day. "I'm just really stressed out right now. But I promise I'll take it back home later, okay?"
This was also the fourth day you didn't stay at his place. My man doesn't want to be a burden, but he has attachment issues, ok?, and after the week you spent sleeping in his arms, it may or may not be that Miguel has been having trouble falling asleep without the weight of your body on his chest.
After watching you leave that day, Miguel found himself staying till unreasonable hours of the early morning working in the lab. There was no point on going back to his cold apartment anyway... And he had a lot of things to get done. He didn't have time to...
"Oh, it's you." Miguel jumps in his place at the sudden voice calling from behind. "I thought that poor girl had stayed here, with all the things she seems to be doing these days."
The man shakes his head, ignoring Jessica closing the distance behind him, leaning against the door frame. Miguel can almost make out the little smile on her lips without turning around, and that only infuriates him even more.
"And why do you look like a caged lion?" She mocks. "Trouble in paradise?"
Miguel's first instinct is snap back at her and ask her to leave him alone. He knows she would comply, what he doesn't know is how benefic that would be for his current situation.
"I don't know what's going out with her." He admits, letting his head fall in irritation. "She says she's having some tests right now, but she's just to... Stressed? I don't know. She's so smart I cannot conceive how bad this is affecting her." The laugh that emanates from Jessica's throat makes his ears go red. "What?"
"Oh, babe, when was the last time you went to college?" Jessica puts both of her hands on her waist, pursing the lips to avoid smiling again.
"Why is that important?"
"When, Miguel?" She demands.
"Ugh... I don't know. Like four-five years ago."
"When was the last time you failed a class?"
"Never." He immediately responds.
"When was the last time grades were important on your Earth?"
Miguel frowns. "I don't remember. The path for learning had changed long before I was born. I don't even think I ever had something like a grade. We were judged individually for our skills and our intelligence type. Not memorization."
"Exactly." She claps, pointing at him with a all-knowing finger. "Thanks to that you got the chance to develop your true abilities as a student, but our girl from 2023 it is not beneficiary of this privilege. She doesn't get the chance to strengthen in what she is good, she must memorize and memorize and memorize over and over again. Because the tests on her Earth aren't done with the purpose of just checking how is her knowledge progressing, they are done to see if she's worthy of continuing forward in her very career."
Miguel remains silent for a minute, swallowing all the new information by pieces. For someone so smart, Jessica has never see him seem so lost. The nuts in his brain begin to turn and turn until his eyes seem to light up with the clarity of the light of the new world.
"Hm." He nods. "Thank you."
The woman knows he doesn't need anything more when he turns around, typing into one of the screens something that escapes from her eyes.
During the rest of the two weeks of finals, Miguel tried to do his best to support you.
He even read all of the information about your education system, striving to understand everything in just a couple of nights.
He's a man on a mission: letting you know he's there, that you're strong and smart, and you can do it.
While you study in the lab, he leaves you be. He gets you coffee, or tea, or anything you prefer. He might even hiss at people entering his space (your space) making too much noise, pointing at you with his chin and threatening eyes.
"Hey, girl..." Peter B. comes in one morning, moving nervously under the scrutinizing gaze of your lover. "Don't be so harsh on yourself..." He gives you some awkward pats on the back, smiling. "You're doing great."
That was all it took.
"No, I'm not!" You weep, letting your head fall on the desk, shaking between sobs.
"Great. Ya la hiciste llorar." Miguel pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing. "Here, give it to her." He calls for Peter's attention, handing him an specific chocolate.
Peter takes it with confused eyes, offering it to you, reaching out his arm as if he were to touch you, you'll explode.
"Here." He says. "Look what I got."
You raise your eyes, meeting the little packing. Then, when you look at him, Peter almost thinks he just made all worst.
"Oh, Peter... Thank you!" You take the chocolate, pulling from him to a big hug. "I love these so much, thank you! You're so kind!"
Peter lets you be, looking back at Miguel who just nods at him to let him know this wasn't his first rodeo. He pats your back, soothing you with some more nervous words until you're ready to let him go.
If you're really struggling, Miguel won't think twice to help you. He's smart, it takes him nothing more than a look to his old notes or a quick search on the internet (specially if you're studying something science related or an engineering, if you're on law or arts, oh boy, you're gonna make this man suffer) to know exactly what you need and make sure you're taking that fucking project tomorrow.
Some other days, he just catches you sleeping with your hands crossed above the table and your saliva drooling out to your notes. His jacket would then come over you, after, he would take your pending stuff and start solving problems and making notes for you to have it easier at the memorizing part of the study.
You always wake up to see the edges of your paper full of arrows, little equations and encircled key words. And, sometimes, a tired Miguel sleeping uncomfortably by your side, just waiting for you to tell him it's time to go.
The day, a Friday, where you're finally done with college (at least for a couple of months) Miguel felt it like the day his soul came back to his body.
You are smiling all day again, calling his name, doing a mess all over the whole building. And he can not be more happy about it.
He might never tell you, me might even justify himself saying he had been staying up late working in the lab every time you ask for the bags under his eyes. Because he's definitely not telling you there were nights where he couldn't even close his eyes 'cause you weren't there with him.
"Time to go home." You hum behind him, getting all of your stuff inside your backpack.
"Thank God" He rubs his neck, walking closer to you to give you a soft kiss on the forehead. "I'm dying."
You yawn, nodding. "Me too. These weeks drained me."
"Me too." He repeats, and you don't know how much he means it. "Let's just go to sleep, yeah? Hopefully tomorrow there won't be so much to do."
You smile, leaning into his embrace as you walk out the door, hearing the lights turning off as both come closer and closer to the exit.
"Yeah, that sounds good."
"Okay."
"Okay."
Miguel steadies your body by pressing down on your hips, keeping your ass on the bed. You try to push his face out of between your thighs but he refuses to pull apart.
"Miguel!" You cry out, tears rolling down your cheeks cause of the overstimulation he was putting you in. "Too much, too much..."
His fingers curl inside you one more time, and your arch your back, almost rolling your eyes at the feeling. His tongue flicks over your sensitive bud again, dragging choked moans out of you. You try to squirm away but his hands pull you from your ass back at him as soon as you start moving.
"Easy there, Arañita. I'm almost done." He smiles up at you, letting you see the lower half of his face completely covered in your arousal.
"Mig... Mi amor..." You breath out, trying to push him out again when his chuckle crashes against your folds.
"One more, love, and you'll be ready for me." He sucks on your clit as he speaks, moving his fingers with an slower pace now. "Uno más, mamita, dame uno más."
He pushes his face down on you, working his tongue all around your most needy spot with his digits burying now deep inside you, hitting that soft place between your walls that makes you want to cry. You're a mess of moans and whimpers by now, but when his teeth slowly press on your clit, it's over for you. Your eyes roll back, your thighs tremble around him, encaging him in his favorite prison as he guides you through it, moaning into your skin when he feels your pleasure dripping on him, motivating his hips to hump against the mattress as a fucking teenager would do.
After you get down from your high, you look up at him to find him positioning himself between your legs, dragging the tip of his cock up and down on your folds.
"Miguel, wait, I'm..."
"You know your safe word, mamita, you can make me stop whenever you want." He places your legs on his shoulders and his hands on your hips, keeping you just as he wishes to. "I'm going in, and I want your eyes on me all the time I fuck you, ¿me entiendes, hermosa?"
You nod, watching the point where both of your bodies would join. He enters slowly, giving you time to adjust his size. But after the first hint of your hips trying to feel him even more, he pulls back and thrusts all the way in, making your head fall back as your back arches.
His right hand grabs you by the jaw, forcing you to open your eyes and observe how red his irises had turned.
"Eyes on me."
His pace speeds up, bottoming out with every thrust he makes. Your hands push at his lower abdomen, biting your lip to avoid crying out loud again.
"Too fast, Mig. Too much." You moan, your still overstimulated clit rips another whimper from you every time his happy trail and trimmed hair crashes against it. You were barely holding on, but your lover can't never get enough. His body reaches down, and as he places one hand around your neck, his other thumb toys at your clit in a excruciating pace. "Fuck! No, Miguel."
You tremble under him, wrapping your legs around his waist when you cannot think about anything more than cumming. Your nails bury on the skin of his back, dragging an out of breath grunt out of him.
"I'm, I'm cum-" You try to voice but nothing in your brain seems to work anymore.
"Do it, love. I got you." He keeps up his pace, almost kissing your cervix by now. "Cum for me, mi amor."
His hand squeezes a little bit harder on your neck and you need nothing else to see fucking white. Your mouth opens in a big O before your start trembling, shaking uncontrollably under his body, letting out the sweetest of sounds for him to hear.
He grunts, falling into the crock of your neck when you tighten your walls around him.
"I'm going to fucking fill you." He's out of breath and he curses something in Spanish you cannot make out. "I'm going to put a baby on your tummy, mamita..."
"Miguel..." You were on the verge of tears again, you cannot longer feel your legs but you surely can feel him deep inside you.
"Yes, love. Fuck... I'm cumming. I'm..." He bites down on your flesh, sinking his fangs into your skin when his hips stutter. His talons grow so big they dig into the headboard.
You moan at the feeling, hugging your body to his until he can breath normal again.
When he looks back at you his eyes have returned to that soft brown you're used too.
"Are you okay?" He asks, sending shivers down your spine when he caresses the sore skin.
"Yes." You smile and he traps your lips into a kiss. "And now I'm really fucking tired."
He chuckles, lifting his weight onto his forearms.
"Come here, amor. Let's take a shower so you can rest comfortably." He places another soft peck on your forehead. "I'll wash your hair."
You definitely know he will do more than that.
PD: Tbh with you guys, all I could think about while writing this was this tiktok:
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inazuman · 22 days ago
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☁  jing yuan x f!reader s.mut, honkai: star rail ☁  reader is afab and goes by she/her. size difference, jing yuan is BUILT and reader is considered shorter/smaller than him, consent is sexy he asks reader if you’re ok to keep going and stuff <3, no plot just fluffy feel good smut, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), huge dick jing yuan no i do not take criticism. pet names: baby, my love, darling. ☁  A/N: this man is so big and so built i don’t even know how i would have sex with him but i cannot stop thinking about him SIZE DIFFERENCE JING YUAN ohmygod im gonna faint (size difference but like normal size difference yk like he’s just fucking BUILT have u SEEN this man. hes so tall and beautiful) ☁  4.2k words
“Shh, it’s okay…”
He has you straddling him as he coos at you, rubbing his large hands over your arms, calluses both rough and gentle. Your legs are spread so wide over his thighs as your hands press into bare his chest, keeping you steady. Your fingertips trail over scarred tissue and soft skin, your palms pressing into the hard muscle.
When you nervously told him you were ready for him, shifting your weight between your feet and looking up at him like he might just give you the world… He immediately sealed your demure request with a kiss, a promise that he would, masking the way his heart hammers in his chest. He blocked off a whole two days worth of time, said he wanted to make an event out of it, casually delegating Fu Xuan to handle everything.
Now that he’s here with you… he’s determined to be exactly what you deserve.
He’s all gentle smiles, softening eyes as he pulls you in for another kiss, his palms flitting up your thighs, encapsulating them, fingers brushing against the back edge of your skirt.
He’s a little worried, he’ll admit. His body is built for battle, his hands meant to wield heavy swords. But with you, even with you hoisted high over his lap, you’re only at eye-level with him.
“Don’t wanna hurt you, darling,” he voices his concern, his lips trail down to your jaw, pressing wet kisses down the expanse of your neck. “We’re gonna take this slow, okay?”
He runs his thumb over the edge of your panties at your inner thigh, his fingers wrapping around to knead at your buttcheeks. e HHe moves you over him, grinding your clothed core against him.
“J-Jing Yuan…” your hands shake the moment you feel him underneath you, how big he is pressed against his pants. His mouth distracts you from the thought as his lips press against the top of your breast, discarding your shirt and lapping his tongue over the skin.
“So beautiful, so soft,” he remarks almost to himself as his tongue moves under your bra and over your nipple, earning him a gasp from you as your hands run through his cloud-like hair. “You drive me insane, when I look at you, don’t you know?”
You can barely respond, sputtering out nonsense as he unclasps your bra. He looks, feels, even smells like a dream. One of his hands moves to knead at your other breast, thumb over your nipple, your other nipple taken in wholly by his mouth now. He drags his tongue over it, his warm muscle against the sensitive nub, sucking lightly before moving to the other.
In truth, he feels half-insane with want and lust. You start to grind your hips against his all on your own, dizzying his mind, his mouth trailing over your body making you drip between your legs. Your fears about how big he is dissipating as you start to focus on how good it feels, his thighs solid underneath yours, cock heavy as you press your clit up against it for some friction.
“Getting needy, love?” He moves a hand between your legs to cup at your heat, watching with a smile at the way your eyes widen. His one hand envelops around your pussy whole, rough callouses pressing against the edges of your panties.
“You’re so warm, and already wet…” he whispers next to your ear, taking the opportunity to run his teeth over your earlobe, sucking softly. His fingers press against the wet spot of your panties, thumb running softly over your clit. He chuckles as he hears you gasp and arch into him.
“Sensitive, too, I see,” he kisses your cheek, pulling down the side of your panties slightly to slide a finger over your bare sex, your pulse quickening with each stroke as he toys with you, your slick coating his fingertips.
“Won’t you let me in, sweetheart? Let me make you feel good, hmm? Wanna watch you come undone on my fingers, is that okay? Maybe I’ll make you cum twice, have to get you ready for me, don’t I?”
You moan and nod just at the thought, just at his words. His smile borders on mischievous as watches your face scrunch up whilst he presses a finger to your entrance, and all you can think is that it’s so much thicker than your own as he slides it slowly past the first knuckle, then the second.
“Mm, good girl, opening up so well for me. Maybe you’d let me do anything to you, hm?” He kisses your forehead as his finger slides out before pumping back in. “You never have to worry, I’ll take care of you.”
He’ll take care of you, it echoes in your mind as you nod, feeling him smile against your skin as you say “yes, you can have me.” Between gasps, you say “yes, anything, Jing Yuan.” He feels himself get harder at the sound of you, at the way you fall apart with just one finger as he crooks it towards your front, as his thumb joins with your clit.
“Do you ever touch yourself like this?” He asks to distract you as he bullies another finger pass your entrance, your tightening thighs and the way you jump away slightly is calmed down by his hand stroking your back, his thumb at your clit bringing pleasure to the slight stretch.
“I-,” you grip onto his shoulders as the second finger slides in, your slick becoming more audible as he presses deep inside of you.
“Hm?” He taps your clit lightly as a gesture for you to finish.
“I-I touch myself, yes,” you whine as he rewards you for answering, pressing small circles around your clit. “I- sometimes, I think of you.”
He swears he feels his mind blank as he groans under his breath, just thinking of you with your fingers between your legs, moaning his name so prettily like you are right now, has him pressing his against your g-spot a little harder.
He quickly masks his lust with a smile, his light-hearted demeanour teetering.
“I think of you too, love.”
“What-,” you gulp, your stomach flipping even as you ask, “What do you think about?”
Does he dare say it? All the unholy things that have crossed his mind with you? “I think about the way you’d look bouncing on my cock in my lap. I think about your thighs.” He grabs one of them for good measure, his movements a little rougher as he coaxes you closer to the edge, chuckling as he listens to your mewls, how listening to him has you tightening up around his fingers. “Yeah, love, feels good? Fuck, I think about laying you out on the table and eating you out. I think about sliding into you with your knees pressed to your chest.”
He stuffs another finger into you as you get wetter from his words, the stretch only pushing you higher. You grip at his shoulders haphazardly, feeling the hard muscle that moves under your hands.
“That’s it, baby. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? We can do anything you like.” He quickens his pace, lets you chase him for more stimulation on your clit, whispers sweet nothings in your ear until he commands you to “come for me, come like the good girl you are,” and within seconds you’re gripping his arms and tumbling over, your thighs tightening and splaying your essence all over his hand.
“Made a mess all over my pants,” he whispers teasingly as you come down, pressing a kiss to your cheek.
“I- Jing Yuan, don’t you…” you reach your hand down between you both to palm at his member, the deep groan he lets out might just be the prettiest sound you’ve ever heard. Even just this makes his hips buck into your hand, cock twitching. He lets you play with him for a while, watches as you struggle at his belt, chuckling at your frustrations until the metal clicks away and you’re able to finally slide that zipper of his down.
He swears you might just know what you’re doing, noticing the difference between your hand over his pants and then over his underwear, how the warmth of your palm seeps past the fabric. Your eyes widen as you wrap your hand around him, bottom lip trembling between your teeth as you realize you’re meant to take all that.
“Jing Yuan…” you whisper, like you’re telling him a secret, “I- I don’t think it’ll…”
“Shh, darling. That’s alright. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, okay?”
“N-no! I want to! I just-”
He presses a kiss between your breasts as he speaks, smiling at you cheekily before lifting you up with one arm and gently laying you down onto the bed, all so he can continue to kiss down your stomach, lifting your skirt up to kiss at the top of your thighs before removing your skirt.
“If you want to, we’ll make it work, okay? We’ll go slow, didn’t I say?”
“Jing Yuan, you’re so-,” attentive, you want to say, only he places a kiss right at the band of your panties, and you lose all your thoughts at the sight.
He takes pride in making you speechless, his teeth grazing right at the apex of your thigh as he takes the fabric between his teeth, sliding the side of your panties down to your thigh, his wet lips leaving a trail over your exposed skin. His golden eyes glitter up at you, at the way you pant whilst watching him.
He does the same with the other side, the middle of your panties still sticking to your core, only separating as he pulls them down all the way, watching how your slick pools within, then bringing his eyes to the source.
“J-Jing Yuan, you’re staring…”
He chuckles. “You’re just so pretty for me, lying there waiting for me, aren’t you?” he spreads your legs wide past his shoulders, his breath ghosting over your core, pressing a wet kiss against your clit that has you trembling underneath him.
“You’re gonna cum for me one more time, yeah?” he asks so sweetly, his eyes full of love and lust as they flit between your face and your pussy, he brings a hand up to slowly spread your core with his fingers. “You gonna answer me, princess?”
“Y-Yes, gonna- gonna cum one more time…”
“Yeah, that’s right, baby. You gotta, so that I can give you all of me, yeah?”
He slots his tongue against your heat, lapping enthusiastically at every drip of your slick. The warm, wet muscle is wide against your core, encompassing it with his saliva, kitten licking from the bottom all the way up to your clit. You squeal and whine above him, legs threatening to close only for his hands to press them apart even further, your hands gripping the sheets.
“Jing Yuan! Oh, fuck, it’s- you’re so good,” you make the mistake of looking down at him, his twinkling eyes and obvious smile that presses against your cunt. He takes the opportunity of you watching him to swipe his tongue over your clit, the tip of his tongue visibly playing with the hard nub, circling it. Your head falls back onto the pillow, eyes shutting tight as you let out a soft scream.
“Mm, love the way you taste,” he groans into you, savoring the taste of you over and over again, pushing his tongue inside of you before dragging it back out to flick the tip of it against your clit. It’s insane how he has you arching your back, your hips begging to catch up to his tongue as he teases you by moving his mouth away from your clit and back towards it.
“So needy,” he smiles, your slick dripping down his chin. He loves to watch you like this, loves to watch you lose control over yourself because of him, the throbbing in his pants so evident to him as your mouth opens in a soft “o”. He grinds his hips into the bed, his cheeks flushed between your thighs, nipping at your inner thigh to tease you only to lap into your folds once again.
“Jing Yuan, I-,” your hands interlink with his, stabling yourself to him. It’s sweet, romantic, even more so as he mouths at your core. Your gasps get louder, your back starts to arch as your hips eagerly press into his mouth.
“I know, baby. Just relax and let go whenever you’re ready, okay?” His palms press against your inner thighs, spreading your legs wide, his strength apparent as it leaves you unable to move them no matter how much you thrash. He doesn’t let up, doesn’t let you run away, only holds you as close to his mouth as he can as your slick gushes into his mouth. He suckles on your clit through every shockwave, even as you press your hand to his head, panting that it’s too much, too much! It’s only when your legs thrash that he lets up, a satisfied grin on his glossed face, wiping at it with the back of his hand.  
You moan at the sight, fitfully grabbing at his strong arms to come back up. “Please, I want- Can we-?”
Your words scatter as he hovers over you, one hand pressed against the headboard, delving down for a quick kiss, letting you taste yourself lightly. “Can we what, hm?” He smiles.
You wrap your arms around him, pulling him close, his hair tickling your neck. “I want you, wanna have you.”
Jing Yuan pulls back, his hands running up and down your thighs. Like this, you can see his scarred torso, your hands moving along the ridges and bumps of his abs. “Speak clearly, love. What exactly do you want?”
Your hand moves to your face, looking away from him as heat rushes to your cheeks.
“Oh? Shy now, are we?” He takes your wrist in his hand, eyes twinkling as he bends back down to nip at your ear to whisper. “Weren’t so shy when you were cumming on my face, now were you?”
You try to smack him with your other hand, only for him to catch that wrist swiftly too. He holds them in one hand, bringing them above your head. “Now then, won’t you ask nicely?”
“I-,” your hips move to grind against his member, but the friction is not nearly enough with the way he’s purposefully keeping away from you. “I want you… inside of me. Jing Yuan, I-”
He presses his clothed length against you, a reward that has you immediately panting for more.
“Keep going, love.”
“Want- want you to fuck me, Jing Yuan, Wanna- wanna feel you inside of me. Wanna have you here.” You wrap your hands around his, and he lets you move them, placing his hand just above your core.”
His eyes darken at that, and he shifts for a moment to remove his pants before returning, his hard length immediately capturing your attention as he lays it against your stomach.
“You’re gonna have me right here,” he taps your skin and you swallow. That can’t possibly fit. “You see that, my love?”
You reach down, wrapping a hand around the base of him, experimentally moving your hand up and down. He moans, deep and beautifully, his own hand around yours.
“Want you now, Jing Yuan.”
“Okay, baby, okay.” He finally moves, pressing your legs open from the back of your thighs, your knees high on either side of you. He takes his member in his hand, pressing the head to your core, pressing slightly. And just when you think he’s going to press in more, he glides it over your clit, then back again.
“Jing Yuan!” you whine, his smirk evident before he gives in, sliding into you slowly. He brings his mouth down to your neck, kissing and nipping at you to distract you from the stretch. One of his hands goes to your nipple, playing with it softly, then descends down to tap at your clit.
You can’t believe the way your body opens up for him, your pussy achingly taking him. He thrusts in and out shallowly before pushing more of himself in, and just when you think it’s all in, you look down to where his gaze is locked only to see inches of his dick still outside of you, slick with the wetness that drips down from you.
You whimper into his shoulder at the sight, and he immediately catches your gaze and brings it back to his face. “Shh, you’re almost there, baby.”
“You’re- you’re so-,” you don’t even know how to get the words out, you feel so full to the point that it’s hard to breathe. As your cunt welcomes him and he reaches the hilt, his balls press against you, a satisfied sigh releasing from him, kissing your forehead and allowing you to adjust.
“You did so good, love. You’re such a good girl.” He kisses both your cheeks. “You’ve taken me so well already.”
You cry into his neck at the praise, and he kisses you, tongue lapping at your lips. “Feels so full, oh, Jing Yuan…” Your breaths shake and he pulls out just slightly before pushing back in again, slowly and shallowly, just getting you used to the feeling until you’re whining and pulling at him.
“You’re so tight around me, baby.” Your vice grip around him has him doing all that he can to take this slow, a reminder of how small your figure is compared to his.
“Please, Jing Yuan. I need you. Need you so bad.”
“You need me, darling?” he chuckles darkly, pressing himself deep inside of you only to slowly pull himself out again, making you feel every inch and vein with the friction. “Why don’t you show me then, hmm? Beg all pretty for me, won’t you?”
That’s all it takes for you to start babbling pleasepleaseplease over and over again as Jing Yuan sinks his cock into you in tandem, his soft sighs against your cheek as he kisses you.
“You’re doing so good for me, darling. Just like that.” He brings his lips over your jaw, nibbling against your skin before descending down your neck. His hot breath trails over your skin, almost distracting you from the stretch of his cock as he presses another aching inch into you.
“So- so full,” you tell him, desperation in your throat and his cock so deep it feels like it might be in your guts. He chuckles at that, pressing down on your stomach, eliciting a whine from you.
“You rile me up,” his breath ghosts over your cheek, sliding out just an inch before pressing into you again. “You feel that, baby? I’m so hard for you. You have no idea what you do to me.”
There’s nothing that gasps out of you other than his name as he begins to move, large hands gripping your waist, his torso beading with sweat as he does his damn best to fuck into you shallowly.
“Jing Yuan- you can-”
He slides his thumb over the sensitive junction of your thigh, caressing your skin as he swoops in for a kiss.
“I can what, baby?”
“You can go- faster,” you exhale, breathless, of soul and mind and heat. He kisses your forehead with reverence, never taken for granted, always with his whole heart.
“Okay, love,” he grumbles into your skin, and then the pace picks up the way that you want, the way you deserve. His strong thighs flex as he presses your legs open, wider, rests part of his weight into you as your gasps turn into silent screams. You bring him in closer to you, and he leans in with a soft smile, pressing a kiss to your cheek, your neck, bending down to your chest. It’s in direct contrast to the way his hips slam into you, jerking the bed. He brings an arm to the bed frame, and it creaks under his weight.
“That how you want it? Hmm?” You’re so close now, he can see it. From the way you gasp and moan and babble under him, to the wetness that coats the inside of your thighs. He brings his other hand down between your body, rests a thumb lightly against your clit, and your back arches in response. He’s heavy in every way, from his body weight pressing down onto you to his dick inside of you to his gaze as it roams over every inch of you. His pace slows down just so he can watch your body contort when he taps over your clit, and then it picks up again, his hair a mess over his shoulder, his groans a ghost over your ear.
“You look so beautiful. Wanna watch you cum one more time.” His breaths come heavier now, he’s doing his best to ignore the way his dick throbs at the way you open up underneath him. “Go ahead, baby. Let go for me.”
It’s like a command, a dam breaking. Your mind bluescreens and your body reacts on its own, legs kicking out, your thighs doing their best to press together only to be trapped wide open by Jing Yuan’s body. He watches your every reaction, cupping the back of your neck like some sort of protection as your body squeezes like a vice over his dick. He’s so hard but it’s just background chatter to the way he can’t even move whilst you orgasm. He tells you how lovely you are, how much he loves you, but you don’t register it until you finally start coming down.
“Jing Yuan,” you sob his name and he hushes you immediately. “You’re -oh, fuck – you’re still-”
“Shh, yes. Look what you’ve done to me, hmm?” His cock is coated in your slick, he pumps into you once and the oversensitivity is all you can think about. “I know, baby. Just a little bit more, okay?”
He switches positions then, and oh, you didn’t think he could get deeper but somehow it feels like he is. He presses your legs close to you so your knees are pressed against your chest, his eyes glazed dark as you sob and your cunt throbs. He thrusts hard, over and over again into you and your next orgasm is wholly unexpected, from nothing but overstimulation and the hot, hot heat between your legs as he hits something inside of you over and over, a high-pitched something leaving your throat. He cums, finally, with a groan deep in his throat. Warmth fills you and slick pools at the base of his cock with a filthy, white rim that froths.
It hits something in him, makes him feel overprotective as he moves to hold you in his arms, caging you in with a kiss to the crown of your head.
“Good girl. Thank you, baby. You did so good. Was that okay?” There’s another wet kiss to your cheek before you navigate his mouth to yours, tongues mingling. There’s a deep, satisfied smile on his face when you both finally break apart that you can’t help but match, running a thumb over his dimple.
“That was incredible,” you tell him honestly, your hands cupped around his face, and he beams back. He slides himself out of you, his thumb moving to between your legs. His cum is still warm as he watches it ebb out of you, milky white a mess between your legs. It webs between your thighs and he wants nothing more than to take a photo, the sharp intake of breath he takes makes it clear to you.
His eyes graze back to your face and he smiles again, patting the inside of your thigh. “Let me help you get cleaned up, love, okay?”. You whine at the loss of him but he’s lightning quick, a damp towel in his hand as he wipes it over you, starting from your shoulders. It’s gentle over your sensitive breasts and down your stomach, to the outside of your thighs and your calves. He takes another towel to wipe between your legs.
You’re not sure if it’s the domesticity, or the care, or the post-orgasm haze, but you’re pulling him in again the moment he’s done, holding his body close under the sheets.
“Was that okay for you too?” You ask him, and he nods without hesitation.
“You’re beautiful, you’re incredible,” a chaste kiss follows to your lips, “and I love you.”
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itsmarsss · 7 months ago
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Vulgar Display of Power [Miguel Diaz x fem!Reader] (Cobra Kai)
You can never fucking beat him in a fight and it's getting frustrating.
Request: omg more miguel please!!! smutty if u can xx already dating if you want? Fic title comes from my (second) favorite Pantera album. Word count: 4,350 Warnings: SMUT. established relationship, theres plot but it only serves to justify the sex lol, i use present tense in this, degrading, first time sub!miguel kind of, handjob, fingering, oral sex, penetration (p in v), semi-public sex (i guess? no one's around but the location isn't exactly private), a lot of use of pet names (baby, babe, love, mi amor), so much swearing. obviously no one is a minor here I don't mention much context but can be read as hs senior year or later, doesn't really matter. if you're a minor kindly keep away from my blog and this fic please
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“Fuck!”  You yell out as Sensei Lawrence announces Miguel’s win. In turn of your frustration, Miguel sports a grin that playfully mocked you.
Now don’t get it twisted, you’re not a bad fighter. You’re not even a good one- you’re great. The best, except for…
“Diaz! Good one.” Sensei Lawrence praises.
“Nice, dude!” Hawk comes to fist bump him.
Tory comes to you. “Girl get it together! You’re better than that!”
“I’m fucking trying.”
Miguel hears the two of you talking and decides to insert himself into the conversation. “Come on, it’s not a big deal.”
“I say this with love but it is a big deal and I’m gonna find a way to beat you.”
“Okay. Whatever you say.”
[. . .]
“Hey,” you hear Miguel call from behind you, turning around for a split second to look at him before getting back to packing your stuff to leave the dojo. 
“Hey.”
“So, are we still on for tonight?”
“Yeah. I just wanna go home first and take a shower.”
He scratches the back of his neck. “Hey are you okay?”
“What do you mean?”
“Something seems… weird.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, babe,” you tell him, bringing a hand to his face and lightly tapping his cheek.
“You sure?”
“Yes! I just said it is!” You realize you blew up at him for no reason, immediately feeling bad for it and apologizing, not managing to look at him. “Sorry.”
“See? That’s what I mean!”
“I really am sorry.”
“Okay, but something’s clearly wrong.”
You stay silent, and he walks up to you, cornering you so you’d face him.
“What’s going on?”
Honestly, you don’t want to tell him. Because it would sound stupid. Because it is stupid. You don’t even exactly know why it had gotten so under your skin this time. 
“It’s fine. I’m just a bit off today.”
“You don’t have to talk about it, but you don't have to lie either.”
“Fine. You wanna know what’s wrong? I’m frustrated because you keep beating me.”
“What?”
“Every single time we’re picked to fight I just can’t fucking beat you. And yes, I’m glad you don’t go easy on me, cause that would be like a million times worse, but I'm frustrated with myself. You’re the only one I've never fully beat in a match. The closest I’ve ever gotten to that was a tie.”
“Well most of the time it ends up in a tie.” 
“Yeah but none of the time did it end with me winning.”
“I don’t understand why you’re so upset about this.”
“Of course you don’t. I just feel like if I still can’t beat you then have I really been getting better?”
“What? That’s nonsense, babe. You know that, right? Of course you’ve been getting better. We all have.”
“See I told you it would be stupid. I don't even know why I'm feeling this way.”
“That’s okay. We can just sort that out.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ll ask sensei for the keys.”
“What?”
“We’re gonna stay here and fight and we’re not gonna leave until you win.”
“That’s really not what I was trying to get from this-”
“What, are you scared?” He knew just how to tug on your strings. 
“Oh fuck no.”
“Then we’re doing this.”
“But what about the date?”
“We can go tomorrow. If you need my help today, I'll help you today.”
“Okay.”
[. . .]
“Alright, ready?”
You only nod your head yes, too focused to even speak.
“Okay. Round one.”
You get a couple punches in, but he’s faster than most of your hits. He wins..
You huff, annoyed. “Again.”
“Again.”
“Again.”
“Again.”
“Again.”
“Okay that’s it. Again.”
This time, determination runs through your veins, as tired as you were. Every single moment of feeling weak or inferior or as though you were seen by others as basically the female equivalent of Miguel, and not yourself, not someone capable of being better than him in any way, channeled into this round. 
And you won. This time, you fucking won. 
“Wait that’s three,” you realize.
“Yeah! You won!” Miguel celebrates.
“What?”
“You won, babe!”
“Oh my God. Holy fucking shit. I won?!”
He laughs, coming up to you. “You did.” He places a quick kiss on your lips, but you’re taken over by the adrenaline, pulling him back to you by the collar of his shirt when he went to pull away, tangling him into another kiss, deeper and more passionate this time around. “That was hot,” he comments, as you finally did let him part ways with you to breathe, your bodies still flushed together. 
You feel your cheeks burn at his comment. “I just kicked your ass,” you joke.
He doesn’t even seem fazed by the comment. “Yeah you did,” he grins.
“I did not expect that to unlock some sort of loser kink in you.”
“Hey! That’s not what this is!”
You lift an eyebrow, amused. 
“What, you’re telling me it’s a crime if my insanely hot girlfriend looks insanely hot while kicking my ass?”
“Should I kick your ass more often then?”
“You’re welcome to.”
“You’re so weird.”
“Shut up,” he retorts, finally having enough of the playful bantering, unable to wait a second longer to have your lips on his again. 
Miguel pulls you even closer to him- if that were even possible- by pulling on your waist, not wasting a second more before diving in again, pulling you into a kiss that is much more feral this time around. His actions scream that he wants you, and the high from having reached your goal and beat him in the last round mixed with the lust forming in you from seeing him so affected, so attracted to this, it feels good.
You suppose some people would maybe come into an issue if they found themselves in your place. Men aren’t exactly known for being great at dealing with women being better than them in… well, anything. But Miguel acted genuinely proud of you. Hell, he’d canceled your date night to help you with this because he realized it was important to you. And more than being supportive, he was turned on by your display of power. 
His kisses start trailing out of your lips, to your jaw, to the space below your ear. “You did so well, love. You should get something in turn, huh?”
Your mind was getting a bit foggy. Still, you join in playing his game. “I suppose I should. What are you gonna do?”
“Whatever you want me to,” he breathes out. Oh. That was definitely new. 
“Whatever I want?” He only nods, looking up at you, waiting to be told what to do. Holy shit, that was hot. “That sounds good.”
“Just tell me, please, I’ll make you feel so good, I promise,” he pleads. It was almost pathetic. You decide you’d never get enough of hearing him plead like that. You loved the times in which he was more dominant, but you could definitely get behind this too, no issues whatsoever.
You pretend to think. “I don’t think I will.”
“What? Why not?”
“I want you to guess.”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“I- Uh- Ih-” he takes a deep breath. He liked that. You smiled. “I can do that.”
“Good boy,” you try, hoping he didn’t find it weird. 
Apparently, he didn’t. “Fuck. Fuck,” he lets out in almost strangled sounds, wordlessly dropping himself to the floor. He looks up at you with doe eyes, as if pleading for permission. You smile at him, signaling everything was okay. You cage his jaw with both your hands, and he closes his eyes for a moment, letting you play with his hair.
“You look so pretty like this,” you coo, and he feels it down his spine, his eyes fluttering open. 
“Sit.”
“What?”
“Sit,” he repeats himself, but it isn’t demanding. Not this time. 
“I heard you.”
“Sit, please, baby.”
You grin. You didn’t know you’d like this this much. “Of course, baby.” You sit down on the bench, legs closed. He parts them confidently, eyes not leaving yours as he does so slowly, positioning his body between them. With his face mere inches from yours, he looks up at you again. 
“Do you want me to kiss you?” He guesses. His cheeks red, he clearly looks embarrassed. It turned him on and it turned you on too. 
You nod eagerly, signaling he’d guessed right. He smiles and closes the distance between you, pulling you down and attaching his lips to yours. It starts out slow, tender, experimental- testing the waters. He grows eager pretty fast, though, kissing you harder, his hands traveling to either of your thighs and planting themselves there firmly, squeezing in a way that makes you gasp slightly in surprise. 
He pulls away just to tease you about it. That’s the kind of little shit he is.
“What was that for?”
“Nothing.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” 
“Not this then?”
He squeezes your thigh again and you try to act unbothered.” He notices though, pleased with himself.
“Oh shut up.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t have to.”
He pulls you into a kiss again with no warning, more feral than before, his hand traveling upwards, inside the legs of the shorts you were wearing. 
“Take it off,” you pant out, a stern tone overtaking your words, and he complies without questioning. You smile, pleased with that. You lift your hips slightly for him and he throws the shorts somewhere on the floor behind you. 
He stares at your underwear for a few moments, as if lost in a trance. You laugh. “Hello? You here?”
“Yeah. Sorry. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this.”
“Used to what?” You move a hand to caress his face. 
“The fact that I’m the only one who gets to see you like this.”
“Aw, do you like that, baby? Does it turn you on?” You ask, your tone almost mocking him.
He only nods his head yes, looking embarrassed.
“That’s good.” You make a show to slowly take off your shirt, a sudden surge of confidence running through your veins at his words, discarding it along with the shorts behind you.  His eyes widen and he mumbles a few words, the volume of his words so low you couldn’t make it out for the life of you, before he just surges forward again, not aiming for your lips this time, but for your jaw. 
“What was that?” You manage to breathe out as he continues his trail of kisses along your jaw.
“What?”
“If you’re gonna talk you’re gonna let me hear it. Got it?”
“Oh-okay.” He continues to place quick, slight pecks along your jawline, but you know exactly what he’s doing.
“You’re not distracting me from that. I wanna know what you said, baby. Wanna hear you.”
“I said- I said uh-“ he gulps. “It’s dumb.”
“That’s okay.”
“I just said ‘fuck me’.”
You let out a small laugh. “Oh. It was dumb,” you mock him again, and you can see he didn’t expect that.
“What?”
“I though you wanted to fuck me,” you joke.
 He doesn’t take it as a joke. “I do. I do I just meant- it was just-“ oh. This was for real. 
“I know, love. I was just teasing you. Okay? You’re being so good to me.”
His eyes almost sparkle at the praise. 
“You know I think I changed my mind.”
“What?” 
“Maybe I should fuck you.”
“What do you mean?”
You look down on him and smile, a genuine sweet smile. “Get up.”
“But-“
“I thought you said you’d do whatever i wanted you to,” you fake-pout. 
He doesn’t say a word before standing back up. You do the same, keeping your body flushed to his. You slowly turn the two of you around, cornering him until the back of his knees hit the bench and pushing him to sit down on it. 
Standing in front of him, you tilt your head to the side as you take in the view. He looked disheveled as ever. You loved it. “I think you’re wearing too many clothes.
“I- I can take it off.”
“Yeah I think you should.”
“What… what do you want me to take off?”
“Let’s go with the shirt first, baby. How about that?”
He nods furiously. “Yeah I can do that,” he takes his shirt off in a millisecond, throwing it with your clothes on the floor. 
“Oh, you look so pretty,” you coo, stepping closer to him and lifting his chin up to look at you. You make your way around the bench to be behind him, and you can see him gulp in anticipation. Fuck, you were loving this a little too much. You trace his biceps with your finger. “Your arms, I love your arms, you know that? So big and strong,” you exaggerate, and he quirks an eyebrow at the suspicious comment. This doesn’t sound like it was getting to a nice praising place. “And your body, I mean your abs. Your thighs, your thighs are so pretty, baby,” you crouch a bit, still behind him, wrapping yourself around his back so you could snake your arms to his thighs, still only tracing them with a single finger. “So how come you lost to me like a bitch?”
That seems to remind him very well of what was happening.
“It- it was one time.”
“One time you lost to me. But you’ve barely ever won, have you?”
He stays quiet. 
“Come on, baby, talk to me…” you pout, snaking your arms around his torso and kissing his neck.
“N-no.”
“Did you like that you lost to me baby?”
Quiet again.
“Did it turn you on?” You whisper in his ear and you can feel him take in big a breath. .
He couldn’t even look at you .
“Oh, pretty boy, I wanna hear your voice!”
He gulps again. “It- it turned me on,” he confesses. 
“I never knew you were into this sort of thing.”
“Me- me neither.”
“Do you like it when I’m stronger than you? When I tell you what to do?”
You remove yourself from his body entirely, and he whips his head at record speed to look at you, desperate for your touch again. You circle the bench once again, standing in front of him. You grab his jaw and lifts his head up to look at you, your other hand messing with his hair. “So pathetic. I’ve barely done anything to you and you’re this hard.”
You finally sit yourself down on his thighs, legs on either side of his torso, and he immediately and instinctively grabs your ass ‘for support’ as he’s always insisted with a grin. 
“You’re so fucking pathetic you’ll do anything I tell you to. Won’t you?” You pout, tilting your head.
“I’ll- I’ll do anything you want.” 
“That’s a good boy,” you mess with and pet his hair again. You loved it when it was just long enough for his curls to appear. 
He shivers. “Can you say it again?”
“Oh, no can do, baby. You’ll have to keep being a good boy to earn it.”
“I’ll- I’ll be a good boy, okay?”
You nod silently, your arms draped around his neck, and you pull yourself closer to get access to his face. You kiss along his jawline slowly, paying extra attention to the spots just under his ears, which made him shiver like crazy. When you find it sufficient, you move down to his neck, and he lets you, tilting his head to the side. You kiss down his neck, trying your best to not leave any marks. He’s still shivering now, and you know him well enough to know he’s okay, but can’t resist teasing him a bit more. 
“Oh no, baby, you’re trembling! Is everything okay?” You feign ignorance.  He doesn’t reply. “Aw are you too horny to speak to me? Is that the issue?” You mock.
He lifts his hips for some friction, an involuntary tell that he was enjoying this too. “Aw, do you like it when I’m mean to you? Huh?” You lift his chin again. He begrudgingly nods his head yes. You smile and move your hand from his chin to his cheeks, squeezing both off them. “Does my baby like it when I’m in control? When I handle you like this? When I call you names?” 
He tries to reply, but can’t really with you squeezing his face like that. 
“Oh I can’t hear you baby!” You let go of his face. “You’re gonna have to say it again.”
“Yes.”
“Yes what?”
“Yes, I- I like it when you’re mean to me.” 
“I know, baby boy. I can feel it.” With no other warning, you palm him through his shorts. He was impossibly hard. Knowing he was liking this was for sure improving your confidence. The moment your hand meets his crotch his breathing becomes unsteady and he thrusts his hips up again, wanting more. You start kissing along his neck as you keep feeling him up through the shorts, and then he is gone. He lets himself let out delicious moans you would play on repeat if you could, tilting his head back to grant you better access to his neck. He wants more, and you know he does. But you want to hear him say it. 
After a few minutes, he does. 
“Please take it off.”
You press a gentle kiss to his neck, containing a grin. “What are you talking about, babe?”
“My shorts, take them off, please. Please, take them off.”
You press a quick peck on his lips this time. “You beg so pretty, baby. I think I’ll need more of that.”
He looks confused.
“Anything I tell you, right?” 
He nods. 
“Good. Eat me out.”
His eyes widen at the bluntness of it all. And then he realizes what you meant by needing more of his begging: you weren’t going to solve his little problem all that soon. 
“I- yes. Yeah.” 
You pull yourself off of him and he stands up as quickly as humanly possible, grabbing your hand and yanking you to Sensei’s office, rushing to move everything that was on his desk. You catch his drift and pull yourself up to sit on it. You’re so enthralled you don’t even really have the time to rethink what you’re doing and where you are. Miguel gets himself on his knees, and the sight of it from above is breathtaking. 
“Are you sure you wanna be on your knees? They’re gonna hurt.” You ask him, seriously this time.
“I don’t care,” is all he says, dismissing the thought. He pulls you closer to the edge of the desk, and you let yourself lean back on your elbows. He brings a hand up your thigh and takes off your underwear, you lift your hips up to help. 
He brings both his hands to your thighs, slowly pulling them apart, opening your legs. 
He wastes no time before diving in, startling you when, in a second, his head is between your thighs while his hands squeeze them hard and his mouth is suddenly on you. 
He moves his tongue up and down your clit, occasionally circling around it. Now and then he takes a long lick, from your hole to your clit, letting out a moan from time to time as he tastes you, and he picks up on the shaky breaths and loud moans you let out at that (and the way your hands fly to his hair, slightly pulling it.) 
He moves his tongue to your hole, licking and kissing around it before getting it inside.
It makes you almost want to scream out his name. 
“Oh my god. You’re being so good to me, baby. Please don’t stop-” 
You can feel his smile. 
He takes one of his hands off of your thigh and moves it to thumb at your clit as he keeps fucking you with his tongue. The feeling is heavenly, but you can’t help but want more. 
“Your fingers.” Is all you say, and he gets it.
Normally in a situation like this he’d be teasing you in some way, but right now just the thought of upsetting you with that and having you leaving him to finish himself off, or something down that lane, got him quiet. 
He changes what he’s doing, going back to flicking your clit with his tongue, and slowly inserting one of his fingers. You decide you want to tease a bit more. “That all you got?” You challenge him, knowing exactly what you’re doing. He inserts another finger, not taking the care to do it slowly this time, and he pushes them deep inside you, curling them upwards to make sure you felt it.
You let out a moan that’s so pornographic you’re almost embarrassed at it, but you can feel him grin at it, pleased with the reaction. He keeps on, but at a slow pace. In other instances, you didn’t mind some slow, passionate sex. You loved it, even. But right now you wanted to be fucked.
“Harder.”
He pulls his head up to kiss you. You let him. As you make out, your taste still on his tongue, his fingers thrust harder, deeper inside you, making you moan into his mouth, which Miguel seemed to enjoy a little too much.
You can feel yourself brimming an orgasm, and your words become nonsense as he keeps on, your noises becoming so higher-pitched you can barely register you’re the one making them. 
“Fuck I’m gonna cum. Baby, I’m gonna cum. Holy fucking-“
It hits you suddenly, killing your train of thought. Your body trembles as he keeps thrusting his fingers into you, letting you ride out your high. He laps it all up gladly, but you pull him away, your clit oversensitive. 
That doesn’t mean you didn’t want more.
“Everything okay?” 
“Yes, baby. You were such a good boy. But I want you to fuck me now.” 
Miguel was still not used to you being this blunt. And honestly neither were you, for the matter. The words just kept coming out. 
“What- what do you want me to do?” 
You get close to his ear and whisper. “Whatever you want, baby.”
His eyes widen. Whatever he wants. 
 He pulls you off the desk and wordlessly takes you back to the locker room. He leaves you for a second to retrieve a condom from his bag. A prepared man, you’d say.
You manage to take a better look at him and laugh. He furrows his eyebrows together. “What?”
“You look so fucked out right now.”
He rolls his eyes at you and takes off his shorts, kicking them away. He goes to pull his boxers down but you stop him, stroking him in an agonizingly slow pace. He lets out a groan. “Please stop, I’m not gonna last.”
“Oh poor you.” You yank his boxers down. His dick is so hard it must be painful. And all from losing a fight and being called mean names. He walks the two of you backwards until your back is against a wall. He puts the condom on and looks at you for a green light. 
“Go on, baby.” 
He nods, pressing his cock into your hole slowly, letting you adjust to the intrusion.
“Fuck.” You breathe out.
“Was that a good fuck or a bad fuck? Does it hurt?”
“I’m alright. It was a good fuck.”
“Okay.” He hikes up one of your legs to his waist, and you think he’ll be content with that position, but he hikes up your other leg too, pressing your back even more firmly to the wall and supporting your weight by holding firmly onto the back of your thighs. 
“Woah what are you doing?”
He doesn’t bother responding, thrusting into you experimentally. 
“Holy shit.”
That is enough for him. His thrusts become harder, deeper, faster. He hadn’t realized just how desperate he was until now. 
Hitting the spot inside you that made you see stars with every thrust, it doesn’t take long for his breath to quicken and his thrusts to become sloppier. “I’m gonna- can I-“
Was he trying to ask for permission to cum? Holy fucking shit, that was hot.
“Shh, it’s okay baby. You’ve been so good. You can cum.”
“Thankyouthankyouthankyou,” he chanted.
 You laugh as his desperation, but it quickly turns into a moan, with Miguel eager to cum and fucking you so hard now you can’t even understand how he could still hold up your weight while doing that. Bless you universe for giving you a strong, strong boyfriend. But all of that didn’t matter now, because he was fucking you so good you could feel the familiar sensation of an orgasm building again.
“Please don’t stop.” That was the first time you begged him for something the whole time.
“I won’t, mi amor.” Oh, that broke you. That one pet name didn’t come out all that frequently, so when it did, you felt giddy on the inside. 
With a few more thrusts, both of you reach your high, and at that point Miguel did have to pull you down, although your legs currently trembled so hard it was a little difficult to stand, but he helps you out after tying the condom up and throwing it away.
“Holy shit,” you finally let out. 
“Holy shit,” he agrees. 
“What were you saying about your loser kink again?”
“Will you shut up about that?” He smiles.
“Was I too mean to you? I might’ve gotten a little carried away."
He looks down to the floor in embarrassment as if he hadn’t just fucked you into oblivion. “I liked it.”
“That’s good baby. So, shower?”
“Yeah you stink,” he makes a disgusted face, plugging his nose and everything just to irritate you. 
You roll your eyes at him. 
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A/N: pls be kind to me and cut me some slack i've never posted smut before 😭 i promise ive had sex before 😭 fighting for my life lmao
1K notes · View notes
lycheeloving · 3 months ago
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Why is there almost no Lex Luthor content... I saw him in Young Justice and immediately got inspired lol
Anyways, here's a yandere!Lex Luthor fic, with Superman and Batman trying to rescue you, but do they have good intentions? 👀 (gender neutral reader ofc)
Warnings for mind controlling/altering devices & substances ✌️ and general yandere stuff ofc
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You're not the biggest fan of big events with many people, but with Lex at your side, you find you don't really mind anything, even the gala you're currently at.
Holding his hand, you happily watch him as he talks to rich people you couldn't care less about, when he turns to look at you.
You perk up as he presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth. You try to lean into it, but he pulls away too fast for your liking. At least you catch a whiff of his scent, he always smells so good...
"Be a doll and get yourself a drink at the bar, would you?"
Ah.
That's code for "we're going to talk about confidential business stuff". Sure. You can spend some time away from him, even if it makes you feel a bit uncomfortable. You'll do it for him!
You silently nod, reluctantly let go of his hand and start making your way across the room towards the bar.
As you're leaving, you make out the word "Justice League". They have been giving him trouble recently, is that what their conversation is about? You can never remember what exactly their issue is with him... He's just a CEO!
Unfortunately the bar is out of earshot, so you can't keep listening, which is exactly why he sent you away in the first place, but you sit on a stool from which you can still easily see him.
He always says that you shouldn't worry your pretty little head about his boring business stuff, so you don't, but he always looks so good when talking about it! So serious and in charge...
After ordering a fun looking cocktail you sigh, already missing him.
You didn't use to like alcohol, but everything tastes better now that you know him, so you indulge in the occasional drink.
You catch yourself staring at Lex. Maybe you shouldn't look at him this much? What if people think he's weird for dating someone who's this obsessed with him? You don't want that for him, he has so much to deal with already... Swishing your drink around, you try to tear your eyes away from him.
You sigh again.
Somebody slides onto the stool next to you and orders a fancy sounding drink. He turns to you.
"Are you ok? I could hear you sighing from across the room."
"I'm fine... I just miss my boyfriend." You hold back another sigh and absentmindedly trace the rim of your glass.
"Oh, so you came here alone?"
"No, he's over there." You subtly point at him. "He's just talking about some important business stuff without me right now."
"Lex Luthor?" He pulls a face as you nod.
"So you're..." He says your name. Apparently people know you! Huh. You hadn't realized.
"I'm Bruce Wayne, by the way."
Now that he mentions it, you don't know how you didn't notice it before. He is quite famous. You probably should have recognized him, but you were too distracted by how dreamy Lex looks...
"What are you doing with him? I mean, he's not known for being fun. Or kind."
He sounds like he's joking, but you don't think it's funny. Your face turns serious.
"You must not know him very well, then."
He holds up his hands in defense. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you or anything. Or him, I guess..." He trails off.
Changing the topic with a grin, he says: "I'm guessing that means I don't have a chance with you?"
You shake your head. He can't be serious.
"...What if I shave my head? Would you consider leaving Luthor for me if I was bald?"
You crack a little smile at that. But your answer remains the same.
"No, I wouldn't leave my Lexie for anyone."
His eyes widen. "Oh, wow, so your relationship is pretty serious, then?"
Why would he even ask that?
"Of course it's serious, I love him!"
He pauses for a moment, seemingly contemplating something.
"...and does he love you?"
You gently touch the spot where Lex last pressed a kiss to your face and look in his direction, only to find he's already looking right back at you. You smile.
"He does." You're sure of it.
Bruce gets up from his chair as Lex starts making his way towards you. "Well, it's been fun, but I'm going to go find someone I actually have a chance with." And avoid a confrontation with Lex.
He winks at you. "Bye!"
You don't say anything back as he leaves, because you're too busy looking at Lex, who's now standing right in front of you. He puts his hands on the bar behind you, caging you in with his arms.
"What did Wayne want from you?"
"Oh, I don't know, nothing important." Already distracted, you reach up to play with his tie.
He raises an eyebrow. "Were you not paying attention to him? Good. Can't have you leaving me for him."
Your eyes widen and you shake your head, even though you know he's just teasing you.
You would never! He smirks as if he can read your mind.
"Well, I have some more business to attend to. I have informed our driver that he is to take you home whenever you wish, while I will be returning to the office."
You pout at him. "I know your work is important, but please don't take too long. I'll miss you..."
He smirks. "I know, darling. I will hurry back to you."
The kiss he presses to your lips is eagerly reciprocated by you, before he gently pulls your hand away from his tie and goes back to the people he was talking to earlier, vanishing through the door.
No reason to stay here now that he's gone, right? You finish your drink and leave the building, but as you turn to look for your driver, you bump into someone.
You go to apologize, but the other guy is faster.
"Sorry! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"
His eyes widen and he straightens his glasses.
"Wait! You're Lex Luthors significant other, right?"
You nod with a smile. How lovely that this is what people know you as!
"I'm Clark Kent, with the Daily Planet. I've been meaning to talk to you about-"
Your smile vanishes. "No comment."
Lex told you that no matter what you say, reporters twist it in a way that makes you look bad, and that it's best not to engage.
He seems a bit disappointed at your quick response. "That's fair. But off the record, can I just ask how you met him? As far as I know, you weren't a part of these circles before you showed up on his arm one day."
"Off record?"
He nods.
You think you can trust him, at least with some of it.
"We met at my workplace. I used to be a barista."
Not knowing how to make it sound nice, you leave out the part where you thought he was rude to your coworker and reprimanded him, and how you only grudgingly agreed to go on a date with him because he cornered you after work and threatened to get your coworker fired if you refused.
But it was all a big misunderstanding! During that first date you realized that you really like him and that he's a really good guy!
He just didn't know how else you'd agree to go out with him after you were so angry at the beginning!
"So it was love at first sight?" Kent questions.
"Not first sight, maybe, but I knew he was the one during our first date. It just... felt so right."
Lex, of course, did know at first sight, but he's always been smarter than you, so it's not a surprise that he caught on more quickly.
"Well, thanks for the conversation. I'm going to find someone I can actually interview now, so my boss doesn't get too mad at me. Bye!"
He stumbles towards the building, bumping into someone else. What a clumsy guy! You catch him looking at you again before he enters through the door.
You finally make your way to the driver and get into the limo, driving home in silence.
Time for a lonely night without Lex...
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That way you'll definitely wake up when he returns, because he refuses to sleep on your side. He'll have to get you out of the way somehow, probably pick you up...
After you get home and get ready for bed, you put on one of his shirts and go to sleep on his side of the bed.
Burying your face in his pillow where his scent is the strongest, you fall asleep.
A noise from the direction of Lex's home office wakes you up.
You're still on his side of the bed. Did he come home and keep working? Seriously? Maybe he'll let you sit in his lap while he finishes whatever he's doing...
Quietly walking towards his room, you hear low voices. Is Lex on a call? In the middle of the night?
As you make it to the entrance, you can finally make out words. It's not Lex.
"-only let you come because you said you could be stealthy. If I knew you'd be this loud, I would have come here alone."
You sneak a look around the door. Is that Batman? And-
"This is my city, and I know Luthor better than anyone, that's why I came along. Besides, I didn't make that much noise!"
-Superman!
You take a step back. Where is the button that alarms security again...? Next to the bed, right? You start making your way back to the bedroom, but...
"We have company."
You're almost at the button, try to start running towards it, but Superman is in front of you before you can blink. Shit.
"Sorry, can't let you inform anyone that we're here, we still haven't gotten everything we came for!"
He actually looks apologetic. What is wrong with him? Breaking into your home, but pretending to feel bad about it?
He holds onto both of your arms and leads you back into the office, where Batman is tinkering with Lex's computer. What could they be looking for?
"Well, if you're here already, we might as well ask you directly. What do you know about Luthor's mind-controlling technology?" Batman asks you.
Mind-controlling? What would Lex need that for?
"I- I think you've got the wrong person. I have no idea what you're talking about."
"People who usually would never cooperate with Luthor have started working for him, so I got suspicious. After some research I was able to figure out that he uses microchips to control them. But we haven't been able to figure out how to extract them without causing damage to the person they've been installed in."
Batman takes a step towards you.
"So I'll ask one more time. What do you know?"
You really have no idea what he's talking about.
"Wh- What would Lex even use that for? I don't understand!"
"Batman, are you sure they know anything? We're already 99% sure there's a chip inside of them as well, maybe one of its effects is not remembering anything about the chips?"
"It was worth a try." Batman turns to look at Superman. "I assume this means you haven't checked for a chip yet? Make yourself useful and use your x-ray vision."
"Oh, right! Right..." Superman mumbles. "No need to be rude about it."
He focuses his gaze on you. It's pretty unnerving, knowing he's looking inside of you. There's nothing you could hide from him, nothing you could do to make him stop looking at you. You hope he's really only looking inside of you...
After looking at you for too long for comfort, he chimes up: "Yep, there's a chip! Right in the shoulder."
Of course there's a chip in your shoulder, but that doesn't mean you're being controlled!
"That's just a tracker! Lex put it there in case I'm ever kidnapped or something, so he'll immediately know where I am!"
"...You let him put a tracker in you? Voluntarily?" Superman seems confused.
"Yeah? Why wouldn't I?" You're confused as well. Why wouldn't you let him? He did it because he loves you! To take care of you!
Batman doesn't seem to care, only humming in acknowledgement and going back to fiddling with the computer.
That reminds you that Lex put another gadget on you...
Your necklace (beautiful, expensive, and of the letters "LL") sends him a discreet emergency signal as soon as you take it off! You just need to be able to reach it...
"Um... Superman?" You crane your neck to look up at him.
"Do you have to hold onto me like that? I mean, just, what could I do to get away, right?"
You look up at him and try to look as confused and innocent as possible.
You glance at Batman. He seems to not be interested in your conversation at all, instead focusing on the computer. Good.
"You're fast enough to immediately catch me, before I could even take a tiny step! Just- This position is kind of awkward to be in, right?"
Please fall for it, please fall for it...
"Sure, you've been pretty cooperative so far, I don't think we have anything to worry about with you..."
He chuckles, almost embarrassed, then reluctantly lets go of his hold on your arms, flexing his hands.
Holy shit. It worked.
"Nice, thanks!" You smile. What an idiot.
Now you just have to play it cool...
Act natural and normal and not like you're up to anything...
You reach up to rub your neck, as if having turned it to look up at Superman strained it.
Well, it did, but you're mostly doing it to get your hands near the necklace. And now you just have to-
The necklace opens with a quiet click, followed by an alarm sounding from the computer.
Right. You forgot it sends a signal to all of Lex's technology, including the computer in this room. Oops.
Oh well, doesn't really make a difference if they're aware that you alarmed Lex or not. What could they do about it now?
Both Superman's and Batman's heads snap towards you. You smile. Lex should be on his way now.
"Superman, why would you let go of-" Batman cuts himself off. "Doesn't matter. I have the information we came here for. Let's go."
"Are we just going to leave them here?" Superman sounds concerned.
Batman walks towards you, holding something up to your face. "No."
It smells weird, what is that? You feel dizzy, try to pull your head away from it, but Batman is holding onto you, you can't move.
Then, everything goes black.
You wake up on a bed in a bright, unfamiliar room with an ache in your shoulder.
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There's a bandage in the spot where your tracker is. Or, used to be, you assume.
Rude of them, to dig around in your body without your permission.
Lex will freak out when he hears about this. He must be looking for you already.
What is this, some kind of infirmary? Where exactly are you?
Just when you decide to get up and try to leave or find out more about where you are, Superman enters the room.
"Oh, you're awake!" He gently pushes you to lie back down. You don't object, you know how strong he is, even if he is being careful right now.
"You shouldn't get up yet, your body should still be adjusting to the chip being gone."
He looks at you with curiosity. Or with hope? You can't quite tell what his expression means.
"Which, by the way, do you feel any different? About Luthor? Any memories popping up that you couldn't remember before?"
Now that he mentions it, some of your time with Lex seems... clearer. You suddenly remember the whole chip thing. And that he's constantly trying to fight (and kill) Superman and the rest of the Justice League. And a bunch of immoral business choices. And villain stuff.
But you still love him.
"I don't feel any different."
Lex must have had a good reason to block those memories from your mind.
Maybe it was for exactly this scenario, so that if the Justice League kidnapped you, you wouldn't be able to tell them anything! Unfortunately they were able to restore those memories, but that doesn't mean that you have to tell them that and make it easier for them!
Superman looks disappointed. "Oh... That's unfortunate."
Why does he seem to be so invested in this? Just because he hates Lex? What does he care if Lex is in a relationship, that shouldn't concern him at all!
"So can I go now?" You throw your legs over the side of the bed and sit up again.
"I mean, now that you know that I wasn't influenced by that chip? You can't keep me here, that would be kidnapping!"
It already is kidnapping, technically.
"Sorry, I can't let you leave." He doesn't look super apologetic about this.
"Batman is still working on something."
"I'm done working on it, actually," Batman responds.
Wait, when did Batman get here? You didn't hear him enter the room...
Superman perks up. "And did you find anything?"
"I did." Batman turns to you, his expression even more serious than usual.
"Blood tests revealed that you are affected by a toxin that messes with your pheromones. After digging through more information on Luthors computer, I was able to find correspondence between him and Poison Ivy. Apparently they made a concoction that is specific to your dna, meaning only you are affected by it, and it causes you to be attracted to him alone. He must have used it as an aftershave or perfume, but it seems pretty long lasting. The effects should last up to a month after exposure."
No. That can't be true.
"You're lying. Lex wouldn't do that. He had no reason to do that, I love him!"
Batman ignores you. "Luckily I was able to synthesize an antidote. Hold still."
You don't hold still, of course, trying to scramble off of the bed, but Superman holds onto you.
"Shhhh, calm down. You'll feel better soon," he whispers, his mouth unnervingly close to your ear.
Batman gets closer to you with a syringe, preparing to inject you with a green liquid.
"This is going to hurt."
"Wait!" you try to protest, but-
-you feel the syringe enter your skin, and then you feel pain. In your entire body.
It hurts! Why does it hurt so much!
You squirm in Superman's grip. Your head feels like it's going to explode.
There's nothing but pain for a few seconds that feel like eternity.
But then- nothing.
You feel nothing. No pain. And-
"Holy shit." You blink.
"Holy SHIT."
What did that fucker do to you?
"I was in a relationship with Lex Luthor? Why did nobody stop me! What is wrong with everyone!"
You blink again.
"I mean, I guess you stopped me. So... thank you?"
Superman lets go of you, seemingly content that you've come to your senses.
Batman seems to be holding back a smirk.
You're not done processing everything yet.
"Why would he-"
You forget what you were going to say and gasp, distracted by a new thought.
"Wait, what the fuck am I going to do now! Where can I go? I moved in with him and he made me break off contact with all of my friends! I don't have an apartment anymore or friends to stay with!"
You look at the two heroes. "D- Do you think he'll look for me? Probably, right? I mean, we were going to get married."
You feel sick.
"Wait, is an engagement legally binding? Fuck. Can I just leave? We didn't make it public yet, but that doesn't make a difference, right? Fuck!"
Superman puts his hand on your shoulder. "Don't worry, we'll take care of all of that. We won't allow him anywhere near you ever again."
Batman adds on: "And you can stay in the Watchtower for now. That's the safest place for you. He won't manage to get in here."
You frown. "Are you sure that's ok? I don't want to be a burden..."
Superman's smile gets wider, it's almost creepy.
Batman moves closer to you, putting his hand on your other shoulder. You're starting to feel a bit smothered.
"We'll gladly take care of you. For however long it takes."
You wonder if that means forever.
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691 notes · View notes
confusionmeisss · 5 months ago
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“𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫” 𝐠𝐟 - 𝐦. 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨
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🫧 matt sturniolo x fem!reader
🫧 in which you play dress to impress with matt during one of his solo streams
🫧 fluff
🫧 1.4k words.
🫧 hi lovelies!! thank u so much for reading! i was playing dress to impress and i was like just thinking like when i say im a gamer this is what i mean. i play the silly fun games. so i wanted to write matt with a girl like that as well. i hope u enjoy!!!! much love!! <3 masterlist
You sat on the bed, back against the headboard and one headphone in your ear watching Matt play Fortnite. It could honestly get a little boring, but Matt was cute to look at when he got upset, so you persevered.
“Oh, yeah she’s right over here,” you hear Matt say with a chuckle. You look up from your hand where you were peeling a piece of nail polish off your finger to see him leaning over looking at you.
“Hi,” He says with a grin.
“Hello. Weren’t you just playing Fortnite?”
“Mhm. But they asked about you,” he says, pointing his thumb to where the Twitch chat is on his screen.
“Ah,” you let out, getting up from the bed, you make your way over to Matt and sit yourself down on his lap.
“Hey y’all,” you say with a wave. “How is everyone? I hope you’re behaving yourselves.”
You feel Matt place his chin on your shoulder as you're reading through chat.
“‘Where did you get that shirt?’ Well, thank you for asking mattsbabygirl33, I found it in the depths of Nick's closet. Swear that kid has too many clothes,” you answer with a small laugh.
“‘Thoughts on cuddling?’ I love cuddles! Matt and I alternate between big and little spoon throughout the week!”
“Don’t tell,” Matt grumbles, burying his face into your neck. You reach a hand up to run it through his hair.
“Sorry love,” you laugh.
“I think as penance you have to finally give in and play a game on stream.”
“Can I at least pick the game?”
“‘Course,” Matt says, placing a kiss on your cheek.
You grin and lean forward, placing your hands on the mouse and keyboard.
“Don’t look, I want it to be a surprise!”
“Ok,” you hear Matt chuckle as you click around, before you start typing, then more clicking.
“Alright! You can look now!”
“What,” Matt asks slowly, “are we playing exactly?” He’s eying the block model on screen with confusion, and it makes you giggle.
“Dress To Impress! It’s a game on Roblox! I play it all the time when it’s real slow at work.”
“Okay. How do we play?”
“So, well right now we’re in intermission, but once that’s over we’ll be given a theme, and then we’ll have to dress up to the theme, and then we’ll model and vote, and see who ranks in the end. Then we do it over again.”
“Okay, sounds easy enough.”
You smile as you look at the screen noticing intermission is gonna be over in six seconds.
You eagerly lean forward, placing your hand on the keyboard. Grinning once you see the theme pop up.
𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐁𝐈𝐄
You got this in the bag. You practically grew up on Barbie.
You look over at Matt. “Ready?”
“Totally.”
You start moving your model around, making your way over to skirts to start off your look, going for the classic Barbie Life in the Dreamhouse. Once you’ve chosen your skirt and changed the color to fuchsia, you start looking for a top, then move on to shoes, before moving on to accessories.
“You have two minutes left!” Matt informs you.
“Oh trust me that’s plenty of time,” You respond, making your way towards the salon section to do hair and makeup.
“Which blonde looks better?” You ask Matt, switching between the two colors.
“Second one.”
You nod. “I was thinkin the same.”
You click the spacebar and watch your model hop out of the chair before you make your way over to the skin tone changer.
As soon as your model hops out, the screen goes black and states that voting is about to start.
The first model starts walking down the car walk and stops to pose and for you to vote.
“What the hell?” Matt says. “They’re not even on theme!”
“Yeah, that happens a lot,” You say with a sigh, keeping the vote on one star.
You and Matt vote and commentate on the next few outfits before it’s your turn.
“Oh, it’s us!” You clap happily. “Ok we have to pose,” you add after, moving the mouse toward the poses.
“I wanna pick,” Matt says, reaching over, making you move your hand.
“You gotta be quick with it.”
“Got it,” he says. You watch as he clicks through the poses, his tongue peeking out a little in concentration.
“Oh, our turns up!”
“We were the last to go, so now we see the top three winners.”
You both watch the screen change to announce the top three, the both of you hoping to be up on the podium somewhere.
“What the fuck!?” Matt exclaims, throwing his hands up, his brows furrowing. “None of them were even on theme!”
“As it happens,” you sigh, scrolling to see where you ended up ranking. Sixth place out of eight.
“I wanna play again,” Matt decides. “But I wanna dress the model this time.”
“Alright,” you agree easily. “We'll just have to wait in intermission before we’re given a new theme.”
You feel Matt nod as he rests his head back on your shoulder as you start to undress your model.
“‘This is why I can’t play this game, it’s just filled with nine year olds who don’t understand the theme’ Yeah, I feel you,” you respond to the chat. “That’s why I only really play when it’s slow at work, cause then I can’t publicly get too pissed.”
You’re reading through the chat, seeing if there’s anything else you wanna respond to when Matt taps your thigh.
“Eight seconds,” he mutters.
“Well, you’re dressing to impress this round, so get your hands ready mister.”
His hands snake around you to land on the keyboard and mouse and as soon as they land the next theme appears on screen.
𝐘𝟐𝐊
“Oh this should be so easy!” You gasp. “All you have to do is channel your inner Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, even Tarayummy!”
“You’ve got this,” you say, placing an encouraging kiss on Matt’s cheek.
“Mhm,” he hums, concentrating on getting his model over to the shirts he seen you pass earlier.
As Matt moves around to dress his model, you start reading through the chat again.
“‘Matt’s concentration and commitment to such a silly game is honestly so cute wtf’ Yes yes, I would have to agree, cvntynickk,” you laugh.
“‘Y/N, we need you here more often so he plays more than just fortnite!’ Ah, that’s kind of you chappellswift, but I don’t wanna be intruding too much,” you respond with a shy smile.
“Never intruding,” Matt mutters.
You smile at that, but it won’t stop the feeling.
“‘How to have a relationship like Y/N & Matt, no borax no glue plsss’ Just find someone who treats you right and respects you and the rest should really fall into place,” you say with a smile.
“Done!” Matt says.
You look over at the game and let out a gasp.
“Matt you did really good!” You look over at him to grin at him brightly.
“Thanks,” he says with a shy smile and slightly reddening cheeks.
The screen changes and voting commences. You and Matt go through the same process as last time. You watch Matt carefully choose each rating like this is America's Next Top Model and not a silly Roblox game.
Once it’s time for the winners to be announced, you feel Matt sit up just that bit straighter, and you struggle to reign in your smile at how serious he’s taking this.
The top three are revealed and,
“What the fuck!” Matt yelps out. “This is bullshit! None of what they’re wearing is y2k at all!”
He reaches over to see where he ranked and you watch as he stops and sees he got fifth place.
“Fuck this,” Matt huffs, leaning back in his chair. “I’m done with this game.”
“Alright then drama queen,” you laugh, exiting out.
“Thank you for having me, but I’m gonna go and get a treat now because I need my daily dose of sugar. Hopefully Chris didn’t eat all the donuts,” you mutter, placing a kiss on Matt’s head as you get up; Matt trying to get you to stay but not too hard knowing how you get without your sugar dose.
You wave bye to chat as well. “Maybe you guys will see me next time.”
“I’m so in love with her,” Matt says quietly to chat, but you hear it as you close his bedroom door; it makes a giddy smile appear on your face.
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spatialwave · 28 days ago
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pink is your colour.
➸ ask: "you're gonna get lipstick all over me" with Viktor while he and reader get ready for an event. I need some fluff right now, I’m grieving )):” — ➸ pairing: viktor x fem!reader ➸ word count: 605 ➸ tags: mdni! fluff, kissing, lipstick kisses, established relationship, drabble, s1 viktor, no mention of y/n. ➸ notes: ok this was so cute to write. going to simply die with all this fluff content you’re sending me!! tysm for asking, love! 🤍 came from this prompt!
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A speech and dinner. That’s all Viktor had told you about the event he’d been invited to, alongside Jayce. Enough to understand, but too little to not fully grasp what this mysterious event could be.
You weren’t a councilman, nor were you an academy student. No, you had just been a lucky bird who ran into Viktor one late night when he’d been returning home from the academy, and you were wandering around so you could get things off your mind. It was an off-chance meeting when you stumbled right into him, the song you’d been quietly whistling ripped from your lungs when you toppled backward.
It was fate, the red string, that finally pulled you together. Or that’s what you liked to think.
“So, is this an academy thing?” Your voice rang from your bedroom, perched upon the stool in front of your vanity as you touched up the pink lipstick you’d swiped along your lips, “you’re being awfully quiet about it. What if I dress too fancy and embarrass myself? Or worse, not fancy enough!”
Viktor stepped into the bedroom, hand on his cane as his eyes flickered around the room until they landed on you. Your eyes locked in the reflection, and you turned on your stool, facing up.
You were perfect, wearing a beautiful dress that reached just above your knees. A dress your mother handmade for this occasion, a well-known seamstress in Piltover.
“You look good,” he answered earnestly, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips, “it’s an academy gala, I think. I…” he crinkled his nose, “I don’t really know exactly what it, eh… is. I wasn’t listening when Jayce reminded me.”
“And you didn’t think to ask?” You stood up after packing away your belongings, smoothing down your dress with fingers that had been delicately painted to match the colour of your clothing.
“It’s a fancy Piltover event, they’re all the same. It isn’t a big deal,” Viktor mumbled, looking down and noticing that he’d buttoned up his vest incorrectly, one side lower than the other.
With a sigh, you waltzed over to your lover, hands beating him to the button as you undid them. You were meticulous with your movements, adjusting the clothing along his slender frame once it was rightly fitted.
“Then why do you look so nervous?” Your eyes glanced up to meet his, a smirk pulling one side of your lips up.
“Not nervous,” Viktor rolled his eyes, attempting to pull away, but you were on him too quickly.
“You look good, too. I know you’re worried about it,” you grinned as your lips pressed to his chin, and you peppered a slurry of kisses against his smooth skin. It was enough to bring a smile to his lips, to let his nerves rest.
This was his first event, after all. He had simply withheld the information.
Viktor tried to pull away from your kisses that attacked his cheeks now, grinning like a fool in love, “You’re going to get lipstick all over me,” he groaned, hands grabbing at your jaw so he was able to tear your loving lips from his skin.
He stared down at you, still smiling as giggles erupted from you.
“It’s fine. The colour suits you,” you hummed, knowing very well that your freshly applied lipstick had completely smudged from your lips because there were streaks of pink over his skin.
“You are troublesome, you know that?” he mumbled, trying so hard to be annoyed, but how could he when you looked at him so lovingly.
“Just a little,” you smiled, closing the distance between your lips.
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