#ok not ‘he’ but the winter soldier but still

[crowsofdarkness]

You've been braty all evening and suggest a fun game to play with Bucky: Hide and fuck.

18+ CW's below the cut( mask kink, protected pinv since she's on the implant, oral with both male and female receiving, fingering, masturbation, choking, degradation, rope play/bondage, making of a sex tape, rough/possessive sex, and slight voyeurism)

a/n: ok I fully understand that Bucky wearing the mask post winter solider is somewhat traumatic but in this little universe/fic, Bucky is trying to get over the trauma by replacing that feeling of fear with something different.

My breath was unsteady and echoed loud in the confined space I found myself in. Surely Bucky had to be returning to our room soon, it had been hours since I left him at the bar with Steve, now almost ten in the evening. As soon as I came back to our room, I went about showering off the long days filth and slipped into a new piece of lingerie I’d bought a while ago just never found the perfect time to wear it. 

Until now. 

All night, I’d been teasing Bucky by whispering all of the filthy things I wanted him to do to me. More so, I wanted him to chase me and fuck me. Unfortunately even with the size of our room, there still wasn’t enough space for Bucky to hunt me down so I had to settle with a simple game of hide and seek. 

Or as I called it in the text I sent him: hide and fuck. 

I managed to fit myself in the large wardrobe dresser that we had in our room, the ones that were tall enough where I could sit inside of it somewhat comfortably. The scent of my peach perfume, Bucky’s favorite,  clouded around me as I sat with my knees pulled to my chest. Just when I was about to give up, tired of waiting, I heard the insert of a key card into the slot and the door clicking open. I had left the light on in the main area of the hotel room so some of it could cast a light into where I was hiding but with a soft click, everything was blanketed in black. 

Bucky’s back. 

Holding a hand over my mouth, I tried so hard to remain quiet even though I was beyond giddy with excitement that he had agreed to this. I knew that this was also supposed to be a therapeutic exercise for him. A way for him to see himself in his old Hydra mask and come to terms he’s not that person anymore. 

Although he was afraid, we both knew that those words that controlled him were long gone. No longer programmed. Even if he wore the mask tonight, Bucky wouldn’t become the soldier. 

His footsteps were so light, almost nonexistent, as he moved around the room. I could feel his presence as it halted in front of the wardrobe and before I could register what was happening, Bucky ripped open the doors and yanked me from it. 

My body fell to the floor with little damage and I quickly scurried away from Bucky only for his fingers to wrap around my ankle, dragging me back to him. His large body loomed over me, lust filled eyes and his lower half of his face was covered by the mask.  His breathing was all I heard as I stared up at him. He wore nothing but the mask and black briefs, hanging low on his hips. The light colored hairs of his happy trail brought a tender smile to my face. 

“Found you,” Bucky growled as his palms traced over the thin white lace of my lingerie, his eyes growing even darker. 

“I-I guess you did,” I stammered while he climbed on top of me. 

WIth his hips locking me in place, Bucky reached over my head towards a bag I hadn’t noticed before and riffled through it. My breath caught in my throat when I saw the rope between his hands, him threading it between his fingers. 

Bounding my hands to my ankles, Bucky went about tying them together with the rope, checking how tight it was before letting the game slip away for a moment. 

“Too tight?” 

I shook my head. “I promise, it’s fine.” 

He took off the hair tie around his wrist and gathered my hair away from my face and into a ponytail. His vibranium finger grazed over my cheek, forcing my eyes to meet his. 

“If you ever want to stop, say red,” he said quietly. 

“Okay,” I breathed, understanding the usage of our new safe word. 

With my hands and feet bound together, I let out a squeal of laughter mixed with shock as Bucky lifted me from the ground, carrying me like a tied animal over towards our bed and roughly tossed me onto it. My ass was up towards the ceiling, barely covered by the lace I wore, and his nostrils flared when he leaned over my lower half, still donning the mask. 

“You smell so good,” he praised while kneeling on the bed. 

“Peaches,” I informed, reminding him of my perfume. 

Bucky hooked a finger into my panties, shifting it to the side so he could brush his nose along my wet folds. 

“Oh,” I murmured when I realized what kind of smell he was referring to. 

Due to how I was tied up, I wasn’t able to look down and see Bucky between my legs, but I could feel the faint brush of his tongue over my clit and I pulled on my bindings. 

“One more thing,” Bucky said before slipping away from me to rummage around in my suitcase. 

I turned my head towards him. “We don’t need a condom. I’m on the implant, remember?” 

He ignored me, still rummaging around in my bag until he spun quickly on his heels towards me holding onto one of my camcorders. 

“Sex tape?” I asked with a teasing edge to my voice. 

Bucky’s lips curled up after he ripped off the mask. “A fucking sex tape.” 

After making sure it was fully charged and set up on the dresser across the bed with the perfect angle, he was quick to be back at the foot of the bed, kneeling on the floor. 

“I want to taste you so fucking bad, doll. Will you let me?” 

My head fell back to the mattress with fluttering eyes. “Please.”

Yanking my panties to the side again, Bucky was quick to devour me, teeth and tongue all over my core. My body writhed against the bed as he took turns between my clit and folds with his tongue before ultimately wrapping his lips around my sensitive bud and forced two vibranium fingers inside of me. 

“Shit,” I panted as the orgasm was quick to build. 

I’d been on edge all night waiting for him and I knew it wouldn’t take me long to reach there. Bucky momentarily removed his fingers from me to press the fullness of his tongue against my folds, licking me up from the bottom to the top.

"Fuck," I moaned when his tongue speared inside of me for a few strokes, before replacing it with his fingers again. 

Bucky’s lips wrapped around my clit to bite and suck at the bundle of nerves. He ate me like a man starved as was offered his final meal before death. The familiar burn at the base of my spine made me call out his name; in a praise and a warning. 

“So close,” I keened. 

Bucky’s arm held up my legs that were still bound and since his mouth was a little preoccupied, he smacked my ass with the hand that was holding my panties to the side. 

Let go, doll. 

I came with a shout, grinding myself against Bucky’s face as he licked and finger fucked me through the aftershocks. 

“Shit,” I choked on a breath when he pulled away only to rise to his feet, yanking down his brieds, now standing in front of me in nothing but the mask. 

I pulled on my bindings, yearning to touch him, but let out an aggravated cry when I realized how tight he tied them. 

“I need to be inside you, doll,” Bucky admitted while grabbing a hold of my ankles with one hand and guiding himself inside of me with the other. 

Both of our groans of pleasure tangled sweetly together and Bucky, who stood at the edge of the bed now, slammed into me with such force, it shook the headboard against the wall. The sound of skin on skin was heaven sent, along with the image of Bucky’s head rolled back, mouth open as he let out pants of air in tangent with each of his thrust. They were brutal, nearly bruising, but I reveled in it. It awoken a fire deep inside of me that from now on needed to be set ablaze. 

“So.” 

Thrust.

“Fucking.” 

Thrust. 

“Tight,” Bucky groaned as his hips stalled for a moment and I watched as the muscles in his stomach constricted. 

He was close but was trying not to tumble over the edge so he slipped out from me. Before I could protest, he was climbing onto the bed towards me. He lifted my head up, wrapping my hair around his hand to force my mouth towards his cock slick with my arousal. 

“Open that pretty little mouth,” he demanded, yanking on my scalp. 

With glittering eyes gazing up at him, I parted my lips so he could force himself inside. He ignored my gagging as he hate fucked my throat with such a bruising grip on my hair, I was sure it would be sore for days. Drool pooled from my mouth and around his cock, dripping down to my chest. 

“Such a good little slut,” Bucky smacked my cheek with the hand that wasn't tangled in my hair. “You love the way you taste, huh?”

My yelp of shock was drowned out by his cock as he repeatedly hit the back of my throat. I could taste myself on it, the tangy arousal lingering on my tongue. But soon I was gasping for breath when Bucky pulled himself from my mouth to grab a hold of my chin, bringing his face mere meters from mine. 

“I asked you a question, doll. I expect you to answer it.”

I did the best I could to nod with his tight grip but it wasn’t enough for him so he tapped my cheek again. 

“Words. You need to use your words.” 

“Yes,” I blurted. “Yes, I love the way I taste on your cock.”

“That’s my good girl,” he praised before forcing his cock deep inside my throat again. 

This time, he didn’t hold himself back as he spilled himself inside of my mouth. 

“Don’t you dare swallow,” he spat through gritted teeth as he held the back of my head, letting my tongue glide him through the aftershocks. 

I held his seed in my mouth, long after he fell to the bed next to me, only to reach into the bag he brough, pulling out a knife. My eyes widened but unable to speak, I held my breath. 

Bucky brushed his lips over mine. “You can swallow now, pretty girl.” 

Obeying him, I let out a breath and motioned towards the shiny blade. “I think this is a step too far.”

He let out a low chuckle before reaching for my bound legs and hands. “Relax, doll. I’m just cutting you free.”

Tattered rope fell to the bed and Bucky quickly brought the red, irritated skin to his lips, peppering it with kisses. 

All I did was hum and as we laid there, Bucky’s fingers grazed up and down the inside of my thigh, leaving goosebumps in his wake. 

“I hope you know I’m not finished with you yet,” was all he said before he yanked me off of the bed. 

As we passed by the camcorder, Bucky turned it so it could face out towards the balcony of the hotel room. 

“Bucky!” I nearly screeched when I noticed the somewhat busy street just a few floors beneath us. 

He spun me around so my back was against the railing, the city lights painting us in a luminescent glow, and traced a finger down the front of my lingerie. 

“This is new,” he noted. 

I shivered with not only his touch, but the cool breeze that passed over us. 

“Do-do you like it?” I asked, nervous. 

“I love it so much, doll, that I’m going to fuck you with it on,” Bucky husked before holding out his hand, spitting on it. 

He pumped his already hard cock a few times, dragging the extra skin over the head and let out a spew of curses. Gathering some of my arousal between my legs, he worked me open again with two fingers before replacing them with his cock. The rough metal of the balcony dug into my back as Bucky dragged himself nearly all the way out, slowly fucking me with the head before thrusting all of him inside of me again. It went like this for a few moments, my bottom lip caught between my teeth because the feeling caused my skin to prick. I squeezed against him, swallowing his length in warmth and our hips began to move in sync.

“Shit,” Bucky rasped while leaving dark, bruising teeth marks along my neck and shoulder. “You feel so good, doll.”

His fingers wrapped around my neck while his thumb forced my jaw up towards him. I went to slip a finger between us but Bucky slapped my hand away, a growl of arousal slipped through his lips.

“Mine,” he whispered.

The pad of his thumb pressed against my bundle of nerves and with the fast and relentless pace he had chosen now, I felt the coil deep in my stomach begin to tense, my second orgasm so close.

“Yours,” I breathed. 

Our bodies slammed against each other, skin slapping against skin, and the wet noises that came from the place we were connected were so filthy that I was ready to let my body go, walls tensing around Bucky’s cock. He lifted his forehead from my chest and forced our gazes to lock again, my arm wrapped around his shoulder to bring him closer, thumb rubbing circles on his bicep. His eyes took in every inch of my face, burning with the way I gasped silently when I felt the tip of his cock hit that spot. 

“Bucky,” I pured. “I’m going to-.” 

My orgasm ripped through me, causing the words to falter, and I shook in his tight embrace. The night air did nothing to cool my heated skin. 

Bucky removed his bottom lip from the tight grip between his teeth as he let out a deep but quiet moan as he painted my walls with his cum. Lifting me into his arms, I wrapped my tired legs around him as he carried me back into the bedroom and tossed me onto the bed yet again fixing the camera in a different position. 

“I can’t,” I shook my head when he reached for the buttons of my lingerie. 

Bucky kissed a tender kiss on my shoulder. “I know you’ve got one more in you, doll. Don’t you want to be a good girl for me?” 

More than anything. 

I was exhausted from my two orgasms, how was he not? Peering down to his cock, I noticed it was nearly hard yet again, the sight of it alone causing my gut to twinge with anticipation and I licked my lips. 

Damn super soldier serum.

“I thought you can't,” Bucky mocked my voice from earlier, causing me to narrow my eyes at him. 

“Shut up!”

The sound of fabric ripping echoed in the room, my lingerie falling away from my body and I screeched while smacking his chest. 

“This was new, asshole!” 

Bucky shrugged, throwing me down to my stomach and lifting my ass in the air to lay a swift smack against it with his vibranium hand. I scrambled to get away from him which prompted him to force the top half of my body against the mattress with one of his hands while the other smacked my ass yet again. 

“Fuck! Bucky!” I bit back the tears as he laid a third smack. “Pl-please.”

“I’ll stop when you apologize for what you called me,” Bucky’s voice was dark, gone with the lust that consumed him. 

For the briefest of moments, part of me feared the monster I had awoken in him but when the pain soon turned to pleaser, I let out a quiet moan afraid he would hear. His large hand rubbed at the red skin before pressing a kiss. 

“Does the pain turn you on, doll? Hm?” Bucky spoke into the skin of my lower back. 

I grasped at the pillow, pulling it close to my chest so I could muffle my answer into it. Which only seemed to displease him because he sunk his teeth into the extra flesh of my hip, making me cry out my answer. 

“Yes! I need it to hurt!”

Wrapping an arm around my stomach, Bucky lifted me up onto my knees and to face the large mirror in the room that was hung across the bed, right next to the camera; still blinking red. I gasped at my reflection of tattered pieces of lingerie hanging on to me still by a thread, mascara running down my face, purple bite marks littered all over my neck and shoulder, and lips faintly bruised from how hard Bucky fucked my throat earlier. 

He knelt behind me and brushed his nose along the shell of my ear while trailing the pad of his thumb over the pulse point of my throat. 

“You look so pretty like this, doll. Marked up as mine so everyone knows who you belong to,” he dragged his teeth along the crook of my neck, breathing me in. 

“God, I fucking love the way you smell.”

His fingers pinched and pulled at my nipples, making my head falter back onto his shoulder.

“What do you want, baby?” Bucky palmed both of my breasts now before trailing a hand down my stomach to spread my legs wide for the reflection and mostly the camera. 

“You,” I breathed. 

Bucky said nothing, instead he slipped two fingers past my slick folds where the head of his cock was slowly gliding up and down. Gathering up not only my arousal but the little bit of precum that beaded at the slit, he brought those fingers to my lips with one simple order. 

“Lick.”

I took both vibranium fingers into my mouth without objection to lap up the tangy mixture of us and hummed greedily. I took them as far as I could without gagging and Bucky showed me how proud he was of me by sinking himself deep inside my pussy. His strokes this time were languid, taking his time with me as he worked me up with his fingers down my throat and the others spreading me wide. 

“That’s it. Take all of me. I can feel your pussy clenching around me, you’re so wet,” Bucky’s pace began to intensify as his words were urging him on. 

One hand wrapped around my throat while the other strumbed against my swollen nub, bringing me closer and close to the edge of destruction. 

My own words were gone, forever lost in the bliss that overtook my body. My soul succumbed to Bucky, allowing him to drag every part of my essence down with him to the darkness. This was a side of Bucky I’d never expected to see and now that I had a taste of him, I wasn’t letting him go. 

“I love you,” I moaned as I allowed the waves of pleasure to drown me as I soaked Bucky’s cock with my orgasm. 

He stilled his movements and sucked in a breath before forcing my face to look into our reflection of the mirror. 

“What did you just say?” 

I blinked a few times, trying to regain myself after the intensity of each after shock, and when Bucky’s grip on my chin tightened, I winced. 

Oh shit. 

I had just blurted out that I loved Bucky.

For the first time. 

Shit. Fuck. God damn it. 

We’d only been dating for a few months and I was suddenly very afraid of how Bucky would react. It was clearly way too soon to be dropping the I love you bomb. 

“Doll,” Bucky’s voice was firm as he shook my face. 

Staring at his reflection, I let the words fall from my lips again. 

“I love you.”

The hard lines on his face softened as he let the proclamation settle for a few quiet beats and just before I could find myself questioning everything, Bucky let out a guttural groan, wrapping an arm around my stomach to pull my back closer to his chest. We were pulled flush against each other as now Bucky used the new angle to buck up into me, hitting the spot each and every time. 

My body was drained and I could barely keep myself afloat in his embrace as the bed shook beneath us, creaking with every snap of his hips. Skin on skin bounced off the walls, overpowering the sounds of my quiet cries, and Bucky bit down hard on my shoulder. 

“Fuck, doll. I love you too, so fucking much. You’re mine, you hear me? Your heart, your soul, this fucking pussy? All mine,” he snarled as he filled my cunt. 

“Ah! Shit!” I cried out louder this time when I felt the teeniest prick of blood from Bucky’s bite into my neck trail down between my breasts. 

We both fell onto the bed, a heap of sweat and cum, and Bucky immediately wrapped me in his arms. He continued to proclaim his love for me while dragging those vibranium fingers up and down my spine, lulling me to sleep; all while the red light from the camera continued to blink. 

[cosmicwavelengths]

sorry but who tf is voting in bucky as a congressman bro literally killed jfk and a few hundred other people probably

[burninblood]

working on some character design for my YA work portfolio right now and inspired by Winter Soldier: Cold Front I decided to do 16 yo, but totally already 17 yo, and maybe also totally 25 yo, “agent Bucky” with a foot in a bucket.

[sergeantbarnessdoll]

Hi!! I was hoping I could request a fic where the reader is clumsy as fuck.

And when Bucky and reader go on their first date, he notices bruises scattered over the reader and gets worried that someone in their life is hurting them. Which reader insist, "no I'm safe I'm just clumsy as shit" which he's heard too many times before so he remains unsure.

BUT as the dates go on, he begins to realise just how honest they were being. Hes constantly having to stop the reader from walking into poles and tables, he's catching things before they can hit the ground (including the reader), and when they come home he kisses all their bruises or marks.

And when they finally are becoming more intimate, he's scared of bruising/ hurting the reader and they have to convince him that they aren't made of glass and to just go for it.

Not Made Of Glass » Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Bucky gets worried when sees bruises on you and you assure him that you’re just clumsy.

Warnings: Fluff, tiny bit of implied Smut (18+), language, clumsy!reader, bruises (not abuse), kissing, pet names

A/N: Thank you for the request, nonnie🩵

Written on my phone. My apologies for any mistakes.

Header made by @buck-star

GIF IS NOT MINE! Gif credit goes to the creator.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!🔞

You and Bucky are on yours and his first date. As you were telling him about yourself, Bucky couldn’t help but notice that you have a couple bruises on your arm and one on your shoulder. It worried him. He’s starting to think that someone gave you those bruises.

“I’m sorry to interrupt you.” Bucky apologizes politely. “How did you get those bruises?” He asks curiously.

“Oh, those? My friend’s son was trying to teach me how to skateboard, but I ended up falling and that’s how I got these.” You explained.

The thought of someone abusing you lingered in his mind.

“Are you sure?” He asks.

“Of course I am.” You replied.

“Is someone hurting you, doll?” He asks, keeping his voice low so no one heard him.

“No, I’m safe. I’m just clumsy as shit.” You say with an assuring smile.

Bucky smiles back. He still couldn’t help but let that suspicion linger around in his mind. He’s heard that one too many times.

“The only reason why I asked is because I want to make sure you’re safe.” He says softly.

“You’re sweet to care and worry, Bucky.” You smiled. “Those are my two favorite qualities I like in a man.” You say, sipping your drink.

“If someone is hurting you, I’d make sure that won’t happen ever again.” He says.

You knew what he meant when he said that. You also know he said it to protect you. That’s another quality you like in a man. You and Bucky are going to get along just fine.

You invited Bucky out for coffee the following morning. You walked in the coffee shop, smiling when you saw Bucky. You were so happy to see Bucky again that you didn’t notice the chair next to you and you ran into it. Bucky looked up from the newspaper he was reading to see you moving a chair out of your way.

“Are you ok?” Bucky asks.

“Yes. I just didn’t see the chair.” You say with a small giggle.

You gave Bucky a kiss on his cheek before ordering coffee and sat down at the table across from him. You crossed your leg over the other. Bucky found another bruise, but this time, on your shin. It’s a little bit bigger compared to the ones on your arm and shoulder.

“What happened to your leg?” Bucky asks, pointing at the bruise on your shin.

“I walked into a tow hitch on a pickup truck a couple days ago.” You tell him honestly.

The suspicion of something abusing you is still on his mind, but he also believes your honesty. It doesn’t hurt to be cautious and suspicious of something, right?

A few days later, Bucky asked you out on another date. He went over to your house to pick you up. You invited him inside while you finished up getting ready. Bucky looked around your house, admiring the pictures and decorations.

“I’m ready!” You announced with a smile.

Bucky smiles, admiring your beauty and outfit. He winces to himself as you walked into the doorframe, hitting your arm on it as you were walking out of your bedroom.

That looked like it hurt.” Bucky says.

“Only a little bit, but I’m ok.” You say.

“May I?” He asks softly.

You nodded. Bucky gently lifted your arm up to his lips, kissing the red mark that will soon be a bruise on the side of your arm. You couldn’t help but blush when he did that.

“You’re really sweet, you know that?” You say with a smile.

“I care about you is all, doll.” He says softly.

“I care about you too, Bucky.” You say in almost a whisper.

Bucky gently caressed your cheek and kissed you softly and sweetly. You put your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself. You’ve never been this mind blown by a kiss in your life.

“Woah…” You say, completely speechless when he pulled away.

Bucky smiles at the speechless expression on your face.

“You ready to go?” He asks softly.

“More than ready.” You answered with a smile.

When you and Bucky got to the restaurant, he’s starting to realize that you’re right about being a clumsy person. You almost walked into a table and he gently moved you away from it so you didn’t give yourself another bruise.

“Careful, doll.” Bucky whispers.

“I am being careful.” You say softly, kissing his cheek.

Over the next few weeks, you and Bucky went on dates every weekend. In those weeks, Bucky has been moving you away from things like tables or poles before you walked into them so you didn’t hurt yourself. Today, Bucky tagged along with you while you ran errands. Bucky swore he ages 10 years every time you run into something or almost run into something.

“Wanna get coffee?” You asked, pointing at the coffee shop across the street.

“Sure.” Bucky answers.

You and Bucky looked both ways before crossing the street. When you guys got to the other side of the street, you tripped over the curb and Bucky caught you before you fell.

“Are you ok, doll?” He asks softly.

“I am now.” You smiled up at him.

You guys went inside of the coffee shop. You somehow tripped over your own feet. Bucky grabbed your arm before you fell.

“I think it’s time to go home.” He says.

“But I want coffee.” You pouted.

You pouting is one of Bucky’s many weaknesses. He can’t say no to you when you pout.

“Ok, fine.” He gives in.

You squeaked softly and kissed his cheek. To keep you from running into anything, Bucky put his hands on your waist and guided you to the counter to order coffee. You two got coffee and then went home.

“You know what to do, doll.” Bucky says.

Bucky now kisses every bruise you get. You took your -Bucky’s- sweatshirt off and rolled your pant legs up, revealing the few bruises you got over the past couple days. You smiled as you watched him kiss each bruise on your arms softly. You then sat down on the couch and he crouched down in front of you and kissed the couple bruises you have on your legs and one on your knee.

“I love how much you care about me.” You say softly, running your fingers through his hair.

“It’s part of my job as your boyfriend to care about you, doll.” Bucky says, sitting down next to you on the couch.

“You want to be my boyfriend?” You asked.

“Only if you want to be my girlfriend.” He says.

“I want nothing more than to be your girlfriend, Bucky.” You say with a smile.

Bucky smiles and kisses you. The kiss got heated quickly. You two fell back against the couch. He put his weight on his forearms so he didn’t crush you. You wrapped your legs around his waist to pull him closer to you.

“You know, I don’t mind if you lay on top of me.” You say.

“I know. I just don’t want to hurt you in any way.” He says.

“You can never hurt me, baby.” You almost whispered, running your fingers through his hair.

“I just want to be cautious.” He says.

“I’m not made of glass, you know.” You say.

“I know.” He mumbles softly. “I love you so much and don’t like seeing you get hurt.” He says.

“I love you too.” You pecked his lips softly. “I won’t mind if you’re a little bit rough with me in the bedroom.” You say seductively.

Bucky leans his forehead against your shoulder and groans softly, dirty thought flowing into his mind.

“There’s safe words for a reason, baby.” You whispered in his ear.

A shiver went down his spine when you kissed just below his ear, a soft moan leaving his lips.

“Fuck…” Bucky moans softly.

Bucky stood up and picked you up, carrying you to the bedroom. An excited squeal left your lips. He gently laid you down on the bed and got on top of you.

“You’ll use a safe word if I’m too rough on you?” He asks just to be sure, rubbing the tops of your thighs.

“Yes.” You answered with a smile.

“You’re in for a long night, babydoll.” He almost whispers.

“Bring it on, baby.” You say softly, bitting your bottom lip.

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

-Bucky’s Doll

[vunblr]

Foundations (#3)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: 18+. Slight Angst. Fluff. Possible Smut in the future.

Summary: Bucky is doing his best to build a stable life for his newfound son, rescued from the guts of a Hydra facility. As he struggles with unexpected fatherhood and his own circumstances, he meets someone who slowly becomes part of their lives, establishing a connection he never saw coming.

Word Count: 5.1.k.

note: In this universe Steve didn't leave, Tony doesn't know that the Winter Soldier killed his parents, and everything is relatively ok.

Previous Chapter

Bucky's gaze dropped to his hand as he was about to bring the cookie to his lips.

His flesh hand.

Dirt was caked under his nails, and streaks of dried blood were smeared across his knuckles. An angry, jagged cut ran along his index finger, with darkening edges where the wound started to scab.

Shit.

He muttered a curse, tensing up. He promptly set the cookie on the counter, and moved to the sink, twisting the tap sharply.

“Sorry,” he grumbled, rougher than he intended. “Didn’t realize…”

He didn’t finish the sentence, too focused on the water running over his hands. It was hotter than he expected, but he didn’t flinch, scrubbing his skin with almost too much force. His back was rigid, and his shoulders drowned tight as he worked, moving his fingers with mechanical precision. He hated this, feeling so grimy, so dirty. He could feel the grit grinding into his skin, the faint sting of the cut as the water seeped in.

It was stupid, really. He’d been covered in worse before, blood, dirt, and other things he didn’t want to think about. But the contrast was jarring in this warm, clean kitchen.

Bucky gritted his jaw as he scrubbed, working his fingers almost obsessively over his skin. He watched as the dirt swirl down the drain, and the faint pink tinge of blood as he rubbed too hard, lifting the soft scab on his finger, making his cut worse. It stung, but he didn’t stop. His metal fingers scraped over his knuckles, digging into the creases, clearing the grime, erasing every trace of where he’d been, what he’d done.

He should’ve taken a shower before picking up Thomas. Should’ve gone back to his empty apartment and scrubbed himself clean before-

His fingers kept digging into his skin, the wound bleeding freely now, red swirling into the hot water. He gritted his teeth, as the anger started to simmer beneath his ribs. Stupid. He knew was being stupid-

“Um… I think it’s okay now.”

Her voice, soft and hesitant, cut through his spiraling thoughts. “Why don’t you change the water to cold? So the finger…”

He froze, with the water still running over his hands.

He looked over his shoulder.

She was standing closer than before, all wide eyes, with her bottom lip caught between her teeth. She looked… worried.

Shit.

He turned back to the water, quickly twisting the tap to cold, and he relaxed a little.

She moved closer, just a step “I… I can get a bandage,” she offered, gently. “If you want.”

He shook his head. “No. It’s- It’s fine. Just a scratch.”

Silence hung between them again, heavy and awkward.

He could feel her gaze on him, lingering on his bruised knuckles, on the fucking cut that just wouldn’t stop leaking. Maybe he’d scrubbed too hard. Dammit.

Then he thought of Thomas, of how the kid would react to seeing his hand like this, bloodied and raw. The boy was sensitive, always worried whenever Bucky came back looking less than okay.

“You know what? Yeah, I forgot… Thomas…” He exhaled, his shoulders sagging just slightly. “Do you know where Steve keeps the first aid kit?”

Her expression softened with relief. “Yeah, he told me where everything was… just in case.”

He nodded. “Right. Makes sense.”

She came back a moment later, with the first aid kit tucked against her hip glancing over her shoulder to check on Thomas, who was still glued to the TV, completely absorbed by the cartoon on the screen. Then, set the kit on the counter, flipping it open. “Alright,” she mumbled as if she were taking charge of the situation. “Let me see.”

Bucky straightened, squaring his shoulders. “I got it, you don’t need to stain your hands.”

She stilled, flicking her eyes up to his. “I work with children,” she said, soft but firm. “I’m used to all kinds of stains.”

And before he could protest, she reached out, curling her fingers around his wrist, guiding his hand toward her.

His breath caught, and his body tensed on her gentle grip. It was firm but warm, her skin felt so soft against his rougher hand. She didn’t seem to notice the contrast -or maybe she just didn’t care- as she angled his hand under the light, her brows furrowing in concentration.

She sighed as she took a clean cloth, dabbing it gently against the cut. She did it with such confidence, that he found himself… relaxing. Just a bit.

Against his better judgment, he watched her, tracing his gaze the way her hair fell forward, a few loose strands brushing her cheek. She was close, so close he could see the soft curve of her lashes as she blinked in concentration. His throat went dry. He wasn’t used to this. Wasn’t used to letting people take care of him, to feeling someone’s touch without the instinct to flinch, to pull away. She didn’t seem to realize the effect she was having on him. Or maybe she did, and she was just good at pretending she didn’t.

She reached for a bandage, still cradling his hand as she carefully wrapped the gauze around his knuckle. Her touch was light, almost soothing, and his chest tightened even more. She was so damn close, her head bowed, and her lips slightly parted as she focused on her task. He could feel her breath, soft and warm, brushing against his skin.

He swallowed, his mouth dry, his pulse thrumming in his ears. He didn’t know where she found the nerve to touch him like this. But a part of him was secretly glad that she did.

She looked at the jagged wound on his finger, knitting her brows together in concern. “This one looks nasty… How did you hurt yourself?”

He hesitated, dropping his gaze to the angry red gash, and the blood seeping through the edges of the makeshift bandage she’d wrapped around it. “I… don’t remember,” he admitted.

Her eyes flicked up, surprise flashing across her face. “You don’t remember?”

He shrugged. “Sometimes I don’t. Things got… messy, and I just… I don’t know.”

She didn’t press further. She gently tilted his hand, examining the wound closer. “I think this needs a couple of stitches.”

Bucky shook his head. “I don’t heal like everyone else. It’ll close up. No need for stitches.”

She raised a brow, crossing her arms as she leveled him with a look. “What, so you’re just going to walk around with your finger open until it magically closes? Even if it’s quicker than us mere mortals?”

His lips twitched at her words, the faintest hint of amusement breaking through. He could feel her eyes on him, searching. She wasn’t buying his nonchalance, wasn’t buying his half-hearted attempts to shrug it off.

He looked down at his hand, the way it rested in hers. So delicate compared to his. He should take care of this himself. Probably do a half-assed job of stitching it up in his empty apartment, hunched in the dim bathroom light as always.

She looked up at him, narrowing her eyes. “Are you scared of needles?”

“What?” He blinked, startled away from his spiraling thoughts. “No. That’s not-”

She tilted her head. “Then what is it? What’s stopping you from letting me stitch you up?”

“It’s just… not necessary,” he muttered. “It’ll close on its own. I’ll… figure it out.”

Her expression softened, “You don’t always have to figure it all out on your own, you know.”

He swallowed, the greedy, selfish part of him wanted this. Wanted her to take care of him, to touch him, to look at him with something different than fear. Wanted to keep feeling his hands on him, sensing her smell for a little longer.

His throat closed, and he looked away. “…I don’t want to bother you.”

She let out a quiet breath, maintaining her grip firm and warm. “You’re not.”

He closed his eyes. Damn her.

Before he could say anything else, she reached for the kit, with decisive movements, leaving no room for argument. “Come on. Sit down, James. Let me do this.”

“Bucky,” he corrected, as he moved to sit on the kitchen stool.

“Uh?” She blinked, pausing her hands mid-movement.

He cleared his throat, looking away again. “You’re not Thomas’ teacher anymore. You should… you can call me Bucky.”

Her eyes widened, and she felt the heat rise on her cheeks, “Oh… um… alright.” Her voice wavered, a little too soft. She quickly looked down, busying herself with the first aid kit. “Alright… Bucky.”

His name on her lips did something stupid to his chest, but he stayed quiet, forcing himself to keep his posture relaxed.

She gestured toward the stool, her eyes flicking up just enough to meet his. “Sit tight. I’ll be right over.”

He watched her move, trying to look more composed than she probably felt. He caught the faint tremor in her fingers as she arranged the supplies, pressing her lips together in concentration. But then, her fingers moved, threading the needle swiftly and fluidly. “This might sting a bit,” she warned, almost apologetic.

Bucky just grunted. “I’m sure I’ve had worse.”

The cut was a mess, jagged and uneven, but she handled it with confidence, and it was over faster than he expected. She tied off the last stitch, pressing her lips together in satisfaction. “There. Good as new.”

Bucky exhaled. “Thanks… for this.”

Her fingers lingered just a second longer than necessary on his hand before she let go. “You know-“

Before she could say more, the sound of keys jingling at the door broke the moment, followed by the familiar squeak of the hinges.

It was all it took for Bucky to stiffen and snap his head toward the noise just as the door swung open.

Steve walked in, with his usual smile plastered on his face. “Hey, kiddo, how’s my favorite little-”

He froze, with his smile still plastered on his face, and his eyes widened as he took in the scene painted in the kitchen.

This was not how his plan was supposed to go. They were supposed to meet tomorrow, on the second day of the arrangement. Steve had meant to be back before Bucky showed up, to smooth things over, to maneuver the encounter as the host, keeping tension at bay, guiding the conversation smoothly, and not make things… awkward.

He definitely hadn’t meant for Bucky to show up still in his tactical suit, looking like he’d just crawled through a sewer. He was supposed to be cleaned up, composed, and prepared, since he was going to warn him about her before the arrival. But judging by the way Bucky’s eyes were narrowing, that ship had sailed.

He cleared his throat, forcing his smile to stay where it was as he closed the door behind him. “Hi, Buck. Didn’t expect you so soon.”

“I bet you didn’t,” Bucky replied, curtly.

Steve winced, scratching the back of his neck as he took a cautious step forward. “I, uh… thought you’d be back tomorrow.”

“Finished early.” Bucky’s eyes were cold and his posture rigid as he watched Steve with that piercing, unblinking stare. “Figured I’d come to pick up my kid. Didn’t know you had… company.”

Steve’s eyes flicked to her, catching the way she shifted on her feet, fidgeting with the bandage, her eyes darting nervously between the two of them.

Yeah. This was definitely not going according to plan.

Steve tried for a casual pose, leaning against the doorframe like he wasn’t sweating under Bucky’s icy glare. “Well, you know… something came up. Needed someone to watch Thomas for a bit.”

The words hit her like a slap.

It all clicked into place, like puzzle pieces snapping together in her mind.

So Bucky didn’t know.

He didn’t know she was coming. He didn’t know Steve had asked her to babysit.

Steve had lied to her.

And then, Bucky had lied too, covering for him, saying he forgot that Steve asked for her number. She’d felt relieved when he said it, stupidly relieved. Her fingers stopped fidgeting. A cold, uncomfortable weight settled in her chest, and her heart sank as she realized just how badly she’d been played.

She made her face go blank, smoothing her expression into a composed mask, hiding the sting of embarrassment burning under her skin. She’d been thrilled when Steve called her, her heart had skipped at the idea that Bucky wanted her to watch Thomas, that he’d thought of her, and trusted her.

But that wasn’t the case. She’d been pulled into this mess without even realizing it, a pawn in whatever was going on between them. And it hurt. More than she wanted to admit.

The moment Steve walked through that door, Bucky’s demeanor had shifted, hardened somehow. His eyes grew colder, and his voice sharper. The tension between them was thick, like an electric charge in the air.

She felt stupid. Embarrassed. Caught in the middle of something she didn’t understand, didn’t want to understand. Before Bucky could respond, she stepped forward.

“You know, Steve,” she started, her voice calm, more controlled than she felt, “I don’t know what’s going on here, but I don’t appreciate being used for whatever this is between the two of you. Whether it’s a bet, a stupid joke, or… whatever.”

Steve’s face fell and opened his mouth, but no words came out. Bucky’s head snapped toward her then, and his eyes widened like he was now registering she was there.

She didn’t look at him, keeping her gaze fixed on Steve. “I’ll text you my bank account. Make me a deposit.”

“Wait, no, I know this looks weird, but-”

She cut him off, cold, sharper than he’d ever heard it. “You know, for being heroes, you sure lack a big portion of decency.” Her gaze was hard. “I hope you were entertained, at least.”

Steve looked stricken, “No, you see… that’s not… it wasn’t like that. I just… I thought-”

But she was already turning away, curling her fingers into fists, digging her nails into her palms. She wouldn’t stand here and listen to more excuses.

Bucky snapped off his haze and moved then, stepping forward, reaching out to her with his hand instinctively. “Wait. It’s not that I don’t w-”

She stopped but didn’t turn around. Her voice was cold, even, terrifyingly controlled. “Save it. Both of you.”

Her heart was thudding painfully with anger and humiliation. She wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of seeing how much this hurt. She squared her shoulders, and looked at Thomas, still watching the tv, “Goodbye, kiddo. Be good, okay?”

Thomas looked up from the couch, his little face lighting up with a smile. “Okay! Bye-bye, Miss Y/n!”

She reached the door, and her fingers trembled as she gripped the handle. She hesitated for half a second, just long enough for Bucky to take a step toward her, his voice low, rough. “Wait, I-”

But she didn’t. She pulled the door open. “Don’t.” It took every ounce of strength she had to keep walking, briskly, along the hallway.

----

“You know, Steve, if I didn’t love you like a brother, I’d rip your head off right now.” Bucky growled.

Steve had the decency to look guilty, rubbing the back of his neck as he leaned against the doorframe. “Maybe you should make things right with her before killing me?”

Bucky’s eyes narrowed.

Steve nodded toward the door. “You can still catch her, you know.”

“And tell her what?” Bucky snapped, frustrated.

Steve’s lips curved in a smug smirk. “Oh, well, you said you didn’t need my help-”

The punch landed squarely on his forearm, hard enough to make him wince. “Ow!”

But Bucky was already storming off, striding long steps as he yanked open the door and disappeared down the hallway. He bolted through the stairs, his boots thudding heavily on the concrete steps as he descended two at a time.

His mind was racing, replaying the look on her face, the hurt in her voice. He should’ve stopped her. Should’ve said something. Should’ve done… anything other than standing there like an idiot while she walked out.

He reached the ground floor just as the elevator dinged above him. The doors slid open, and there she was, stiff shoulders and glassy eyes her face a blank, emotionless mask.

She saw him and her eyes widened before narrowing sharply. Without a word, she tried to walk past him quickly.

Bucky moved on instinct, reaching out and curling his fingers around her wrist. “Wait-”

She gasped, and her eyes flashed with anger. “What are you-”

But before she could finish, he pulled her back, stepping into the elevator and guiding her inside with him. He hit the button to lock the doors, and the metal slid shut, sealing them in.

Her mouth dropped open, and her eyes went wide with shock. “Oh my God, are you kidnapping me now?”

He released his grip instantly, flying his hands up in an appeasing gesture. “No. No, I just… I need to tell you something. Then you can go.”

She folded her arms. “It sure sounds like kidnapping.”

He winced. “I… okay, yeah, maybe it looks bad, but that’s not… I’m not-” He exhaled, raking a hand through his hair. “Just… hear me out. Please.”

Her eyes narrowed as she leaned back against the elevator wall, with her arms still crossed protectively over her chest. “Fine. You’ve got two minutes.”

Handsome bastard.

Bucky swallowed, his throat tight as he tried to get his bearings. His brows furrowed as he struggled to gather his thoughts.

“Okay, first of all, there wasn’t a bet or… or whatever you’re imagining,” he started. “I swear. It’s not like that.”

Her expression didn’t change, but he saw a faint flicker in her eyes.

He took a breath. “My life is… a mess. It’s always been the last eighty years.” He tried to laugh, but it came out hollow. “I’m dealing with… things. A lot of things. And I’ve been told I need to seek help. Objectively, I know it. But it’s… it’s hard for me to do that.”

Her gaze softened, just a fraction, but her posture didn’t relax.

He looked down at his hands, curling his fingers into fists before he forced them to relax. “It’s been hard taking care of Thomas on my own,” he admitted. “I end up relying on Steve or… or a couple of other people. But the reality is, I should hire someone to take care of things at home. Not just when I’m away, but… in daily life, too.  And I’m too damn proud and… distrusting to do it.” He let out a bitter laugh, sagging his shoulders. “I just don’t let people into my life. I don’t… I don’t trust. And I thought… I thought I could still handle things.”

He swallowed, and his voice became rougher as he continued, “When you told Steve about babysitting until you found another job, he thought it would be perfect. Because you already know Thomas. You’re a teacher, and I…”

His words faltered, as he realized just how close he was to saying too much.

He looked away as he forced himself to finish. “…And I know you. At a certain level.”

He left out the part about how much he wanted to know more about her.  About how she’d been in his thoughts for weeks, how he’d caught himself wondering if she missed Thomas and if she ever thought of him.

“I didn’t know Steve was going to call you, yes. He didn’t tell me. And when I saw you there, I panicked. Because I was… I was glad to see you. And I didn’t know how to handle that.” His words tumbled out before he could stop them and his gaze dropped to the floor, “And… I was mad at Steve,” he continued. “Mad at him for going behind my back and… and I was out of line bringing it up in front of you. It was… it was horrible of me. But I couldn’t help it. I just… I didn’t know how else to react.”

His hand moved as he spoke, curling his fingers, and her eyes flicked down, catching sight of the bandage, the white gauze now tinted with crimson, a fresh spot of blood blooming through the fabric.

He saw her gaze drop, and he stiffened. Shit.

Maybe he’d ripped the stitches when he punched Steve.

He clenched his hand into a fist, pulling it close to his chest as if to hide it from her. He swallowed, forcing himself to keep his eyes on her. “I just… I wanted you to know that you weren’t some pawn in a stupid joke.”

She looked up, slightly parting her lips as she took in the rawness in his voice and the way his body seemed to curl in on itself.

“That’s not what this was.” His voice cracked, his chest tightening. “You got caught between a friend stupid enough to pull… whatever this was… to help me, but it was never about making fun of you.”

She sighed, relaxing her shoulders just slightly, dropping her arms to her sides. “You know, all of this feels like a cheap afternoon soap opera.”

His lips twitched, just a little. “Yeah. Not exactly my style, but here we are.”

She huffed, and a small, bitter laugh escaped her lips. Her gaze softened, “I… felt stupid,” she admitted. “I thought… I thought you wanted me there.” She shrugged, trying to play it off, but he could see the hurt lingering in her eyes. “Guess I got that wrong.”

His eyes dropped and he ran a hand through his hair, catching on the tangled ends. “I’m not great at… this.” He gestured vaguely. “People. Being around them. Asking for help.” His mouth tightened, his voice dropping. “I don’t do that.”

Her gaze softened, her posture easing. “Yeah… I noticed.”

His shoulders hunched. “So, really, you just got caught up in something that… wasn’t your fault.” His eyes flicked to hers. “And you shouldn’t have been.”

Her expression wavered, but in the end “…Okay.”

He looked at her with surprise. “Just like that?”

She shrugged, with a faint, tired smile curving her lips. “I don’t have the energy to stay mad.” Her shoulders dropped. “Not after all that.”

A loud thud echoed from the elevator doors, followed by muffled voices, people outside wondering if it was stuck. Bucky’s eyes flicked to the door, They were running out of time.

He looked back at her. He didn’t want to ask this. Didn’t want to expose himself further but he had to.

“…I know this is a lot. And you’re probably sick of being dragged into my mess.” His fingers flexed, and then his hands tightened into fists. “But… would you consider being my nanny?” His voice wavered, the words almost sticking in his throat. “…Thomas’s nanny.”

Her eyes widened, “You… you’re serious?”

His eyes dropped. “Yeah.” He forced himself to look at her. “I trust you. And he… he likes you.” His voice dropped, and his words were gruff, guarded. “Not a lot of people he does.”

She hesitated, pressing her lips together. “…I’ll think about it.”

His pulse thudded. “Yeah… of course, that’s fair.” He cleared his throat, dropping his gaze again. “Take your time.”

The thuds came more insistent now.

“They’re probably ready to break down the door,” she muttered, rolling her eyes.

Bucky sighed, settling his face into a grumpy scowl as he raked his vibranium hand through his matted hair, metal glinting under the elevator lights.

Without another word, he pressed the button to open the sliding doors. They slid open with a mechanical hum, revealing two guys standing outside, with their hands still mid-motion as if they were about to knock.

They froze, and their eyes widened as they looked at him -disheveled, blood-stained bandage on his hand, grimy tactical suit, and his face set in a hard, unwelcoming glare- and whatever they were about to say died on their tongues. They immediately took a step back, dropping their eyes to the floor, and muttering something under their breaths.

They walked down the hallway in awkward silence. He stayed a step behind her, with his hands shoved in his pockets and shoulders hunched, eyes fixed on the floor.

When they reached the building door, he stepped forward, pulling it open and holding it for her.

She hesitated, parting her lips as if she wanted to say something. But she didn’t. Instead, she gave him a small nod, slightly curving her lips.

“Well, goodbye,” he muttered. “And… sorry.”

Her eyes lingered on him for a second longer before she stepped outside. He stayed there, standing in the doorway until she was out of sight.

----

That night, she lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, replaying the day’s events in her mind, on an endless loop.

More precisely, Bucky’s words in the elevator.

His voice had been rough and guarded, but honest. At least, it had felt honest. Thinking back, more than half the time she’d seen him dropping off or picking up Thomas, he’d looked… drained. Exhausted, with shadows under his eyes, and his shoulders sagging just a little more each time she saw him.

She sighed, rolling onto her side, and curling her fingers into the pillowcase. Steve’s little stunt was… uncomfortable, to say the least. And she wasn’t ready to forgive him for the embarrassment of being caught in the middle of whatever macho, emotionally stunted drama was going on between them.

But… she understood why he did it.

He was trying to help his friend. Trying to coax him into getting help in the only way he knew how, by forcing his hand.

She huffed, drifting her eyes to the window. It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to work under him, at least until she found a spot at another institution.

Thomas was a sweetheart. A bright, gentle boy who just needed a little extra care, a little extra patience. She’d loved having him in her class.

And Bucky…

Her cheeks grew warm. Him.

She buried her face in the pillow, groaning as the memory of his rough, low voice echoed in her mind. I was glad to see you. And I didn’t know how to handle that.

She felt the giggle bubbling up before she could stop it, a stupid, giddy sound that escaped her lips as she curled in on herself. Like a damn teenager.

But she couldn’t help it. Because still with his grumpiness and his guarded words… he’d been vulnerable with her. Real.

And perhaps, that was enough to make her reconsider.

Really… it wasn’t too much to think about.

----

The next morning, Bucky was returning from dropping off Thomas when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

He almost ignored it, preoccupied with the list of things he had to do that day. But the second buzz made him huff, flipping open the old clamshell phone irritation.

His body went rigid as he saw the sender’s name on the screen.

Her.

He swallowed, and his fingers clenched around the phone.

That was fast.

His mind spun. That could be good… or it could be really bad.

His heart thudded painfully. She’d said she would think about it. Had even smiled at him before leaving. But clearly, she didn’t need much time to come to a decision.

His thumb hovered over the button to open the message. She’d probably made up her mind right after leaving. Hell, probably while she was still standing in the elevator with him. After the disaster of the day before, she must’ve been just trying to be polite by not giving him an outright no to his face.

After the scene in the kitchen… after he’d cornered her in that elevator, all disheveled and bloodied. Yeah. She must’ve felt threatened. Uncomfortable.

Why the hell wouldn’t she?

He snapped the phone shut. His fingers tightened around the device, and his shoulders stiffened as he shoved it into his pocket.

He couldn’t read it. Not now.

His boots felt heavy as he walked out of the building, and his body was already tense as he climbed onto his motorcycle. He gripped the handles, and the leather creaked under his fingers.

He knew. He knew that procrastinating wouldn’t change the message’s contents.

The words were already there, waiting for him. Whether he read them now or later, they wouldn’t change. They wouldn’t magically turn into the answer he wanted.

When did he become so… mentally weak? He exhaled through his nose, as he started the engine, feeling its roar vibrating through his chest.

The ride felt shorter than usual, as the streets blurred by while his mind churned, with the weight of the unopened message pressing against him like a physical force.

Before he knew it, he was pulling up to his building, moving on autopilot as he cut the engine, grabbing Thomas’ little helmet and striding inside, fumbling with the keys.

He barely noticed the climb up the stairs. Once inside, he tossed the helmet aside, slumped on the couch, and started to bounce his knee, tapping his fingers restlessly against his thigh.

Fuck it.

He fished the phone out and opened it, hovering his thumb over the button.

Just do it.

His eyes scanned the words.

Good morning. Tell me the days and the chores you need, and I'll pass you the fee. If it’s okay with you, I can start when you need it.

Bucky blinked, flicking his eyes over the message again, as his brain struggled to process the words.

He re-read it. Once. Twice. Three times.

She said yes.

A little… detached, maybe. Straightforward. Professional.

But she said yes.

His shoulders sagged as he let out a long, unsteady breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding.

She said yes.

His thumb hovered over the keypad. What the hell was he supposed to say to that? Thanks? Great?

His fingers curled around the phone as his lips pressed into a tight line.

She was treating this like a job. Like a professional arrangement. Clearly, she wasn’t holding the other day against him, wasn’t dragging all that baggage into this.

He swallowed hard. Of course she wouldn’t. She was better than that. Better than him.

She. said. yes.

Dividers by @/strangergraphics

Next Chapter

Taglist: @lazyneonrabbitt @that-daughter-of-hephaestus @sebastians-love @vicmc624 @lucylovexx @ethereal-witch24 @wannabakewithsomebody @unicornqueen05 @ddrewcameron @danzer8705 @mcira @technicallytinyheart @put-trash-here @chinggay85-blog @tulippix @dumblani

[buck-star]

I only want you | Bucky Barnes

Pairing -> BestFriend!Bucky Barnes x BestFriend!Female!Reader

Summary -> During the party he confesses his feelings for you, he kisses you but the next day he isn’t the same anymore. Your best friend is the biggest idiot you have ever seen and you don’t know why.

Warnings -> Bucky being an idiot, mention of Bucky’s past/trauma, Sharon being a bitch, hurt/comfort, angst, crying, kind of insults, fluff

Wordcount -> 7.1k (it’s long but it’s worth it, I guess)

A/N: I want to thank @mrsbuckybarnes1917 for listening when I came up with that idea as well as supporting me to find the way through all the ideas, and thank you so much for proofreading it, I really appreciate it. I’m sorry when I hurt someone, trust me I cried a lot while I wrote that oneshot but I just needed to write something to calm down my feelings and yeah here we are. I hope you all enjoy it.

Divider made by @firefly-graphics.

Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist

Bucky isn’t really a drinker, especially not since he became the Winter Soldier. He enjoys the taste, but the serum that is constantly running through his veins makes it impossible for him to experience the effects of the alcohol. It isn’t rare that he wishes to get drunk so he can forget all the memories of the things she did during the time with Hydra. It’s like Thor knew exactly about his thoughts because he is waving a flask of Asgardian Ale in front of Bucky, and the brown-haired man decides it is the perfect opportunity to drink his troubles away.

“Buck, you shouldn’t drink too much of that Asgardian Ale,” you mumble while you sit next to your best friend and look at him. You know about his trouble and about his traumatic past, but you also know it’s never an opportunity to drink it away. He has the glass completely full again and smiles at you.

“It’s oke; I can’t get too drunk. I’m the Wiener Soldier,” he says and bursts out laughing. Then he lifts his glass and turns around. "Cheers!" he shouts through the room, even when it’s almost impossible that someone hears it.

The music is way too loud to hear your own words without shouting. So it isn’t surprising when the people in the room don’t hear what Bucky shouts. Except for the two next to him, you and Steve.

“Cheers, pal!" Steve shouts and lifts his glass as well. He smiles at Bucky before he pours the liquid down his throat. You shake your head and turn around. Your back leans against the counter, and you place your forearms on top of the counter, looking at the people dancing in the middle of the room.

“Haven’t felt like that since the 40’s,” Bucky groans, filling his glass again. Then he turns to you and looks straight into your eyes. “I feel like I’m 20 again; it feels better than I thought. Do you always feel like that?” he asks and places his hand on your shoulder, standing up slowly to stand in front of you.

Then he winks at you while he almost falls to the side. You almost burst out laughing when he tries to grab something to not fall.

“Woah, the room is spinning. I didn’t know Tony was able to build something like that,” your best friend says while holding your shoulders so he won’t fall down.

You look at him and grip his arms to lead him to the seat next to you again, but he doesn’t want to move. You giggle when he leans closer, and the stubble from his beard tickles you. Bucky kisses your cheek softly.

“My lady, wanna dance with me?” he asks and looks at you with the most adorable puppy look.

His blue eyes are almost begging you to dance with him, and even when you would prefer to bring him into his room and make sure he goes to sleep, you can’t say no.

With a nod, you stand up as well, and he wraps his arms immediately around your waist. He doesn’t walk far away from the counter, just a few steps, so the two of you can dance without crashing against something. Bucky spins you around while he holds you still, pressed against him.

You wonder how it must feel for him when the room is already spinning, but the way he smiles and looks at you makes your mind dizzy, and you can’t think of anything other than him. You lay your head against his shoulder, and the heat of his body warms you. His hands are around your waist, making you almost melt in his embrace, and you could stay like that for the rest of the evening.

After a few minutes and Bucky almost lying on the ground and sleeping, you push him to the seats. Making sure he doesn’t miss the chair, when he sits, he immediately looks for his glass.

“Where is it? I’m thirsty," he says, looking at you with a slightly sad gaze.

You feel a bit sorry for him, but you reach for another glass, this time with water. Bucky looks at it skeptically, but then he pours it down his throat. Shaking his head like it’s something awful he doesn’t like. You chuckle, and it makes him look at you.

“Have you ever tried that? That’s awful,” he tells you and offers you the glass even when it’s empty.

“It’s not that bad,” you reply, and you take the glass to place it on the counter next to you.

“We should bring you into your room, you should sleep a bit,” you say, taking his hands into yours.

Before you can pull him up, and with you out of the room, he pulls you closer, and his lips are just a few inches away from yours. He is so close that you can feel his breath against your lips; it's warm and smells strongly of the ale he has consumed. You need to close your eyes for a moment. The man in front of you is making you go crazy.

“I don’t want to go to bed, not yet. I want to kiss you first, can I?” he asks you, and you immediately feel like he is Bucky from the 40’s again. And even when you don’t agree to drink his troubles away, you’re happy that he doesn’t have to suffer with his past right now. And let’s be honest, the 40’s Bucky is a gentleman, and you always wanted to know him; now you have the chance, at least for tonight.

“Doll?” Bucky asks, and you feel a shiver along your spine because of his soft voice.

You look into his eyes and smile softly.

“Of course,” you answer, not sure anymore about the question he asked.

He leans closer and kisses you softly. Bucky’s pink, plumb lips are so soft on yours, you never imagined them being that soft. You slide your hands through his hair, playing with his light curls. His lips move slowly against yours, while he lets you feel everything you tried to avoid when you’re around him. The feeling in your stomach whenever he touches you, the way he looks at you, or talks to you. You adore the way he tells you ‘Doll’ and you enjoy every moment you can spend with your best friend.

And that’s the point where you thought he would never feel the same for you. He is your best friend, and he was always a gentleman, so you were sure he was just nice. And now he is kissing you, with his hands at your waist, holding you close. Bucky is drunk, so you aren’t sure if it’s just a situation of his drunken state, but they always say: drunk people tell the truth, so he would feel the same for you as you feel for him.

When the two of you move a few inches away from each other, you still look into his eyes. His gaze looks a bit foggy, but you can also see the storm in his blue eyes.

“I love you; you’re the most adorable girl I know. You don’t know what you do to me whenever you look at me or just touch me softly. My feelings go crazy, and whenever another man walks close to you, I want to push them away and tell them you’re mine. I can’t sleep because I think of you; when you’re in a room with me, I can’t concentrate on something else, just on you,” Bucky says, and he smiles softly, his cheeks turning slightly red. “I have loved you for so long, but I thought you would never love me the same way. I was the Winter Soldier, and I don’t think I deserve someone brave, strong, wonderful, and perfect like you,” he adds, leaning his forehead against yours, wanting you to be as close as possible and feel your warmth.

You smile and press your lips against his again. The tingling feeling in your stomach grows again, and when he stands up, he towers over you, placing his hands around your cheeks, and he pulls you closer.

“I love you so much, my doll,” he whispers and slowly lets go of you, his hands gripping your waist again.

“I love you too, Buck. And you deserve everything good; it wasn’t you when you were the Winter Soldier. You’re a gentleman and the most precious one; I love the way you care about everyone you love,” you tell him, and he blushes.

Bucky lifts one of his hands and presses two of his fingers onto your lips, trying to make you shut up before you can compliment him more.

“You need more than two fingers to make me shut up,” you giggle, and his smile grows before he leans down and presses his lips on yours. He makes you speechless with the way his soft and warm lips move against yours.

“You two are almost disgusting,” Steve mumbles next to you, making you chuckle.

When you and Bucky break the kiss, you look at Steve. He still looks at you and blushes when he recognizes that you caught him looking at you and Bucky.

“You think it’s almost disgusting, but you can’t stop looking at us, huh?” you ask, and he immediately turns his head away while his cheeks get deeply red.

When you turn your head back to look at Bucky, you feel a burning look in your back. Without looking around, you already know the person who is staring at you with the same angry gaze; she always looks at you. Bucky recognizes your thoughtful look and looks up to see the person behind you. His hand clenches around your waist, and you hiss softly.

“Sorry, doll,” he mumbles, immediately losing his grip around your waist.

“Tony is staring at mine,” he growls, and you look around. You see Tony standing on the other side of the room and looking in your direction. He looks annoyed, and when you look a few inches further to the side, you see the person who is burning a hole in your back. Bucky thinks it’s Tony who is looking at you, but you know he is just listening to the person next to him. She is the one who hates you for being Bucky’s best friend, and now she will hate you more because Bucky kissed you. Sharon has had a crush on Bucky since you met her the first time, and he sometimes looks flirty around her, but he is always like that around friends. Otherwise, he would date Tony, Thor, or Steve as well.

The next morning, you wake up to the sun slowly brightening your room. You open your eyes and smile when the flashbacks of the last night come back into your mind. You and Bucky shared a lot more kisses, soft touches, and dances during the night.

You sit up slowly, stretching your limbs, and look at the clock. It’s just a bit after ten in the morning. After a few more minutes where you just look out of the window and enjoy the sun and the comfortable silence in your room, you stand up and walk through your bathroom.

With a few movements, you get out of your clothes and walk into the shower. The hot water runs along your body, and you feel your muscles relaxing under the warmth. You close your eyes, enjoying the moment just for you. In front of your eyes, you see Bucky kissing you the way he did last night. Your fingers are brushing softly over your lips, and for a moment, you feel like he is kissing you again. His hands are around your waist, and his body is pressing against yours.

But when you open your eyes, you just hear the sound of the water and your towel in front of you. No Bucky, right now. Just the thoughts making you smile again and the feeling in your stomach are the most wonderful you have ever felt until now. You are already excited to see him in a few minutes, but first you need to finish your shower and choose some comfortable clothes to wear.

With the biggest smile on your lips, you walk through the floor and into the shared kitchen.

“Someone looks really happy today,” Tony says, and you blush immediately.

Your eyes scan the room, so you can find Bucky and go to him. Talk to him about the last night and make sure you meant what you said. When you walk a few steps further into your room, you see Steve lying on the couch, holding his hand and groaning.

“I don’t know what happened last night. Tony, how can you manage to never have a headache?” he asks, and Tony laughs before he places his hand on Steve’s shoulder.

"Painkillers are really useful. It doesn't help to remember, but they help against the other effects after being drunk,” he says, and Steve nods. He doesn’t want to get up, so he just closes his eyes and tries to sleep a while longer.

You look around and see Bucky in front of the counter. Sharon stands next to him, and her hand rubs his back up and down. You roll your eyes, disgusted about the other girl, as you walk to them.

“Hey, Buck,” you say with a smile, and when the brown-haired man turns around, he smiles softly.

But in another way, as usual, he looks a bit sad, and instead of looking at you, he looks to the side.

“Hey,” he mumbles and takes his bowl with cereal.

Then he walks to the table, and Sharon follows him. You look at them both; maybe he has a hangover? You try to push the negative thoughts away and make yourself a bowl with your favorite cereals. You walk around the table and sit down in front of Bucky; he doesn’t look at you, and he doesn’t talk to you. He was just focused on his cereals and probably deep in his own thoughts.

“Buck?” You ask carefully, and he hums but still doesn’t look up from his bowl. “Can we talk? I mean just you and me?”

He nods in response and finishes his breakfast, then finally looks up to see you. But something is still different when he just loves to look into your eyes and adore the colors, but this time he looks at you like you’re someone else.

He waits until you finish your breakfast as well, and then he follows you through your room. Your best friend closes the door behind himself and looks at you.

“What’s up?” He asks with a cold voice, and you shiver immediately.

“Do you remember last night?” you ask, playing with your hands. You don’t want to look at him; you’re scared about the way he looks at you.

“No, but Sharon told me about it,” he tells you, and you nod softly.

For a moment, the two of you are quiet. You don’t know what to say, but the silence is uncomfortable as well. You shift from one foot to the other, your hands sweating, and you feel like you need to throw up.

“Why are you so cold?” you then ask and look at Bucky.

He clenches his jaw with his eyes staring at you, and the way he looks at you makes you even more uncomfortable. He never looked at you like that; the coldness almost showed hate in his eyes, and you can’t help but feel the tears burning in your eyes. He notices the tears in your eyes, and a sarcastic grin forms on his lips.

“Why are you crying now?” Bucky asks you loudly; you hiss and feel so small in front of him.

“You- Buck, yo-” You start to say something, but he interrupts you.

“Don’t call me ‘Buck’ or ‘Bucky’. You have no right to say that. You don’t deserve to say that,” he shouts, and your eyes widen.

“What do you want me to call you then?” you ask, trying to wipe the tears in your eyes away.

“Use my name. I have it for a reason,” he says, and you nod, not able to say anything.

You don’t know what happened to him. Last night he confessed his love to you, and now he acts like he hates you and has never even thought about loving you.

“Want to talk now or not? I have better things to do,” he says, rolling his eyes annoyed.

You feel a tear slowly falling down your cheek, not knowing the man in front of you anymore. He isn’t like your best friend; he isn’t like the one you fall in love with; he isn’t the one who kissed you yesterday; and he isn’t the Bucky, you know.

You shake your head. You want to talk; you really want to, but you can’t. At least not with the man in front of you. Was it all a lie? Was it all just fake? Or what happened that he is the way he is right now.

“Good,” he says, and he turns around to leave the room.

The moment he closes the door behind himself, you break down on the floor. You fall on your knees, the tears streaming down your cheeks, and you’re sobbing loudly. There is no feeling inside of you right now; you feel empty. You stare at the wall in front of you, his face in your mind, his smell, and the way he kissed you last night. You hear his words, like he is standing next to you and saying them to you. The ones of the night when he confesses his love to you and the ones he said a few minutes ago when he was looking at you with his cold, blue eyes.

“I love you; you’re the most adorable girl I know.”

“Don’t call me ‘Buck’ or ‘Bucky’.”

“I can’t sleep because I think of you; when you’re in a room with me, I can’t concentrate on something else, just on you.”

“Want to talk now or not? I have better things to do.”

It takes a while until you slowly calm down. You're curled on the floor, and the tears are still streaming down your cheeks. But your sobbing is quieter, and you slowly fall asleep on the floor. All the tears and the crying make you so sleepy that you don’t recognize Steve walking into your room and lifting you up to place you in your bed.

He sits next to you, his fingers stroking your hair softly out of your face, and he looks at you with a soft but sad smile. He saw Bucky walking out of the room, his gaze as cold as the whole morning, and even when he doesn’t know what happened at the party, he doesn’t want to leave you alone. But he also doesn’t want to interrupt you while you’re crying because he knows you would have to hide it, and he knows you need to let the feelings out of your body.

You don’t sleep well; nightmares interrupt your sleep every time, but you’re too tired to stay awake for a while. In every dream is Bucky; first he helps you, but in the next moment he shouts at you, laughs at you, and does everything you never thought he would do to you. You’re sweating and whimpering in your sleep, turning from one side to the other.

Steve tries to comfort you with his hand on your thigh, but it doesn’t work. With widened eyes, you wake up, starting to cry again for a few minutes before you fall asleep again. You don’t mind if someone sees you crying or not; you can’t escape Bucky, his coldness, not even in your dreams, and it robs you of all of the strength you have.

“Y/N?” Steve asks when you’re awake, but you turn around so you don’t have to face him.

You mumble a soft ‘mhm’. Steve sighs, his fingers drawing small circles on your thigh.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” he asks, but you shake your head.

You just want to be alone right now. Steve nods and stands up, walking through the door, but before he leaves the room, he turns to you.

“If you need me, you can call me or just come to my room,” he offers.

“Thank you,” you whimper, and the tears are streaming down your face again.

You can’t stop thinking about Bucky; he is burned in your mind like something you need to be. Something you need to be happy, and yes, he is someone you need to be happy. Without him, it doesn’t feel the same; watching your favorite movie wouldn’t be as fun because there is someone missing who holds you when you cry out of joy because they are married. Playing board games wouldn’t be the same because the one freaking out because he doesn’t get what he wants isn't playing the board games with you. Eating your favorite snacks and ice cream wouldn’t be the same because the one man who always laughs about your snack and ice cream decisions wouldn’t laugh. The one cuddling up wouldn’t let you cuddle with him, and you would miss HIS warmth and HIS scent. It’s not just a man; it’s the ONE man; it’s Bucky.

Wrapped in your blanket, you sit against the headboard of your bed. Looking through the channels for something that could distract you. But you feel like Bucky is manipulating the television because every channel shows a movie you used to watch with Bucky.

Everything reminds you of him: every place, every movement. Every second reminds you of Bucky, the memories you both have, and the moments you shared. And now he treats you like you’re the worst thing he has ever seen, and there is no reason why he does it, right?

You don’t want to sit in your room, but you don’t want to see Bucky somewhere as well. But you feel hungry after some time, and even when you wish you didn’t have to stand up to get some food, you don’t want to make yourself feel worse just because of Bucky.

So you slowly get up; it’s already afternoon when you walk through your room. Before you reach the door, you see the pictures on your wall. He and you took so many pictures during trips or parties, some when he was joking and others when he tried to look mad. Even when he really looks like a pouting puppy, when he tries to look mad at you, you always laugh about his pouting face.

You open your door and immediately hear the voices of the others. But there are not a lot of them; just three of them are there and talk. Steve, Bucky, and Sharon. With quiet footsteps, you walk closer to the room. You look at the floor, hoping that no one will see you.

But when your feet meet the ground in the room, the gazes of the three of them are immediately on you. Steve smiles sadly when he sees you. You probably look like a wrack, with red eyes and tears all over your face, but you don’t mind. Sharon looks at you with a smile, and Bucky is as cold as before.

When you make your way to the counter, you hear Sharon flirting with Bucky, and you feel like you want to throw up. You hate her, especially since she is a jealous bitch when you’re with Bucky. And now he has him for himself - exactly the plan she had.

“Buck, look at me,” she says, and you look around to see what they do. That’s the moment you wish you wouldn’t be in the room right now. Sharon leans closer, and her lips meet Bucky’s softly. His arms are wrapped around her waist, and you see yourself in her. The moment you had last night, and now he kisses her, not the one he confessed his love to last night.

The tears forming in your eyes - they're burning. They slowly stream down your cheeks, but you don't make a noise; you just look at them until they break the kiss, and Sharon looks at you with a wide bitch smile again.

“You’re right!" you shout, and Bucky turns around to look at you as well.

With a confused gaze, the two men look at you, and you chuckle sarcastically.

“You don’t deserve me. You’re an idiot, and I would prefer to be killed by the Winter Soldier instead of being your best friend,” you shout, and you see the change in his gaze.

You don’t mean it, not really, but the anger inside of you lets you say things like that.

You see, you hurt him by saying that he has nightmares because of the Winter Soldier; he blames himself for that, and you were the one who was able to give him moments where he didn’t blame himself, but now that you mention the Winter Soldier in a way, you hurt him the most you can. And you’re sorry for that, but you hate him so much right now that you can’t stop yourself from telling him things like that.

“I feel like he would love more than you ever can,” you say, and you walk a few steps closer to him. “I hate you, in a way I never thought it would be possible,” you hiss and turn away to grab some food from the counter before you leave the room.

Bucky looks at you, and the moment those words leave your mouth, his small world breaks a bit more. The only person who loved him so much hates him now. But he deserves it, doesn’t he? And he can’t bring himself to walk to you and ask what he did because he is way too mad at you for a reason he doesn’t want to admit in front of you.

It's been a week now since you saw Sharon and Bucky kissing each other. The day he started to be an ass and the day you told him he didn’t deserve you. And you didn’t change your mind; he hasn't been nice to you since that day; he ignores you; he doesn’t even look at you. His arms are always around Sharon’s body, and his lips are on hers.

You don’t really care about yourself anymore; you’re mostly in your room, crying or just laying there and waiting until you finally fall asleep. Steve tries every day to get you out of bed and wants to plan your favorite trips, but every one of them reminds you of Bucky, and you prefer your warm and comforting bed.

Someone knocks at your door, and you hum in response before Steve opens the door.

“Want to eat something? I cooked, and you need to eat,” he says, but you shake your head and turn around so you don’t have to face him.

Steve sighs softly and walks closer to you. He sits next to you on your bed and runs his fingers along your side.

“Do you want to tell me what happened between you and Buck? He looks different as well since the party,” Steve says thoughtfully, and you slowly turn around to look at him.

Your eyes are red, and he can see the tears all over your cheeks. Steve lifts his hand and wipes the tears away, smiling softly at you. You slowly sit up, your back against the headboard of your bed, and you pull your knees against your chest, wrapping your arms around them and placing your head on your knees.

“I thought-“ you sob quietly. “He said he loved me, and then he suddenly was with Sharon,” you mumble, and you can’t stop the tears again.

“He told you he loved you? When? I mean, I know it, but when did he tell you?” Steve asks, and your eyes widen for a moment.

He knows that Bucky loves you? What happened to Bucky being the way he is when he really loves you? Why is he kissing Sharon when he could have you? He could have the one he really loves.

“At the party, he told me he loved me. He kissed me,” you mumble, and Steve’s jaw drops.

“He finally managed it?” he asks, and you nod.

“And the next day he was the idiot he is, kissing Sharon, and it looks like they are happy together,” you tell him, and he shakes his head.

“I need to talk to him,” he tells you, leaning forward to kiss your cheek.

You look at him while he leaves your room. He almost runs out of it, and you don’t know why, but you don’t mind. Steve wants to talk to Bucky, but it won’t change his feelings for Sharon. And maybe Bucky thought it was her when the two of you kissed. Maybe he thought it was her when he confessed his feelings.

Meanwhile, Steve rushes into Bucky’s room. He sits on the edge of his bed, staring at the television. He doesn’t want to see Sharon today; he misses you, even when it’s just looking at you or hearing you talk. But since you’re in your room and only outside when you’re sure no one else is outside, he hasn’t heard or seen you in days.

“Buck?” Steve asks softly, and Bucky turns his head to look at the brown-haired man. He looks more broken than ever before. Steve walks closer to Bucky and lets himself fall next to his best friend in bed. “Where is Sharon?” he asks, and Bucky shrugs.

“Don’t care,” he says, and he stares in front of him again.

“Pal, what happened that you’re the way you are with y/n?” Steve looks at Bucky and sees the small tear escaping the corner of his eye.

"Nothing; she doesn’t want me,” he answers, and Steve chuckles softly. Stubborn idiot, but still his best friend and the idiot in love with you.

“She told me you confessed your love for her. And the two of you kissed. When she told me, I remembered, and it was her; it wasn’t Sharon, pal,” Steve continues, and Bucky’s eyes widen before he looks at his best friend again.

“We did what? And Sharon, what?” he asks.

“You kissed. You and y/n. But Sharon was just standing next to Tony on the other side of the room and was staring at the two of you,” he repeats, telling Bucky what he remembers. Bucky shakes his head, thinking about the version of the party and then the version he heard.

That’s definitely not what he heard about the evening. That’s not even similar to the things someone told him about.

“No, that’s not true,” Bucky says thoughtfully. “But even when, don't you know anymore what she said? She hates me, Steve." Bucky mumbles, and he feels even worse when he thinks about you, the way he treats you, and the things you said to him. Even when he understands it now, he understands why you said those things.

“I need to talk to her,” Bucky mumbles, but then he shakes his head. “Do you think she would listen?” he asks and looks at Steve, who nods.

“She is in love with you. Even when you’re such an idiot,” Steve tells him, pushing his best friend up. “Talk to her, pal,” he says, and Bucky smiles softly before he walks through the door.

He isn’t sure what to say when he talks to you. Maybe you don’t want to listen; maybe you won’t understand. Or do you really hate him now? Do you want to see him? So many thoughts run through his mind while he walks along the floor, unsure what to do or say when you ignore him or if he messed up after all the things with Sharon.

Bucky reaches your door and knocks softly. He hears your softy ‘come in’ and he opens the door. Now it’s too late to turn around; he has to talk to you now. You look at him, and your gaze gets. immediately cold.

“James,” you say, and he shivers slightly.

He didn’t know something inside of him could break more, but when you called him ‘James’ with that cold voice, something inside of him broke more.

“Doll,” he mumbles, closing the door behind him.

“Don’t call me that; call your new fucktoy that,” you hiss, and he looks at the floor.

You’re mad; he has never seen you like that before, but he can’t blame you. You’re hurt, and he is the reason for that. He hurts you so badly, but he loves you so much more than he can ever tell you. He can’t and doesn't want to be without you when there is just a percent chance for him to be yours. He would do everything to be yours.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles. He hates when you’re so harsh and cold, but he understands it.

“What do you want here?” you ask, and he plays with his hands before he answers.

“I want to talk to you,” Bucky says quietly, and you chuckle sarcastically.

“I don’t want to talk to you, James,” you say, and you see him wiping some tears away.

“Please,” he begs, but you shake your head. “Can you please listen to me? Please?” he tries again, and he doesn’t want to go without telling you everything he feels, everything about the way he acted, especially why he acted like that. “Doll, please listen to me. Just this time, if you want me to go, then I will, and I will never talk to you again if you don’t want me to,” he says and sobs quietly.

You haven’t seen Bucky crying; sometimes he looked like he was about to cry, but he never cried. And now he stands in front of you, begging and crying for you to listen to him. And you want to listen, but the anger inside of you gets in control of you.

“You could have talked to me earlier. I fucking- I don’t care anymore,” you shout, and he flinches.

The strong super soldier looks like a small boy.

“Please, I love-“

“Shut the fuck up. I don’t want to hear all those lies anymore. Just shut up and go with those lies to your new girl,” you say, anger in your voice, and Bucky can’t stop the tears streaming down your cheeks.

He hurt you more than he thought he did. But he was so mad at you; he was mad about the things he heard. And now he is about to lose the most important person in his life. He loves you more than everything; he never loved someone as much as he loves you.

“I’m sorry for hurting you. I really am. I love you,” he whispers, and you shake your head sarcastically, laughing.

“I saw that. You treated me like the worst person you know; that’s love for you?" you ask, and he immediately shakes his head.

“No, but I didn’t know about the things that happened during the party,” he says, and he walks a step closer, slowly, to make sure you’re oke with it.

You want to throw him out of your room, but you also want to know what happened and why he was the way he was. He wouldn’t beg and cry when it wasn't important to him. So you accept when he takes a seat at the edge of your bed and looks at you. His eyes are red, and you can see the traces of his tears on his cheeks.

“I’m so sorry,” he mumbles, still blaming himself for doing all this to you. Bucky wants to touch you; he wants to hug you; and he wishes you would tell him it’s oke. But he knows he needs to explain his behavior before he can get some of that; when you’re ready to do it, then.

“What happened that night?”

He is interested in knowing what happened, and you clear your throat before you think about it again. When he turned into an idiot, you tried to avoid all his touches, his words, and his kisses so you didn’t need to cry all the time. And now he wants to know the truth, and you want to tell him, but you don’t want to cry because of that.

“Thor had some Asgardian alcohol there, and it made you drunk. We danced a bit; you told me you loved me; you kissed me,” you tell him, and he nods.

“You didn’t flirt with someone else?” he asks, and you shake your head.

“No, why should I? I love you, and I was happy you felt the same, but then you acted completely different the next day,” you mumble and look at him.

Bucky is playing with his fingers; you see the way he suffers because of his metal arm, and you remember the things you said about the Winter Soldier, and he probably hates his metal arm even more now.

“Why did you do it the way you did, and why are you suddenly so nice again?” you ask, and his jaw clenches slightly. Not in an angry way, but more in a thoughtful clenching.

“The morning after the party, I had a bad hangover and didn’t remember much of that night. I know that I kissed someone, but I don’t know the person. Sharon came into the room, and she asked me how the party was, and I told her I didn't know because I had too much alcohol. She wrapped her arms around my waist, and when I asked her why she said I kissed her that night,” he tells you, and you nod, blaming yourself for being the same way to Bucky as he was to you, even though it’s not his fault.

“I told her I don’t love her because I love you. And she told me about your night with a guy I don’t know. Sharon said you were flirting with me, but you have someone else, and you were flirting with me so you can make jokes with your boy about me being so dumb and really think you could love me the way I love you,” he continues, and your jaw drops slightly.

“Bu- James, there is no one else. I love you, and when you changed into the idiot you were, I hated the thought of you touching Sharon and the way you kissed her. But when you love me, why did you kiss her?” you ask, and Bucky runs his fingers through his hair.

“I wanted a distraction,” he whispers quietly, ashamed of that.

For a moment, you both sit in silence, looking at each other. “Did you really mean it?” he asks, and you furrow your eyebrows in confusion.

"When you said those things about the Winter Soldier?” He asks, and you see his hands shaking softly. His anxiety gets worse when he thinks about your answer; maybe you could really mean it? Maybe you really think the Winter Soldier could love more than Bucky can?

“No, I was mad. I’m sorry, Buck,” you say, and he nods. You smile softly when he doesn’t tell you to stop calling him ‘Buck’. “I’m really sorry, but I didn’t see how much I would hurt you with that,” you add.

“I think I deserve it,” he replies, and you want to agree, but you also know it would make him feel worse.

He was an idiot, but now that he sits there, he begs and cries that you listen to him so he can excuse his behavior. He blames himself for so much; you don’t want him to blame himself for more.

“Buck?” you ask, and he hums in response. “Tell me the truth, please.”

You look into his eyes; the blue is as warm as the one you’re used to seeing when he is with you.

“I love you, doll. I never wanted to hurt you; I want to be yours. I want you to be mine,” he says, blushing slightly. You don’t know what to say. You want to tell him you feel the same, but at the same time, you’re scared he will go to Sharon when you’re not enough for him anymore. “I’m sorry, you had to listen. But thank you for listening,” he tells you and stands up to leave the room.

You reach for his metal arm, and he flinches when you touch it.

“Sorry,” you say, slightly shocked, and let go of his arm. Bucky turns around and smiles softly.

“Just didn’t think you would touch it.” His voice is so soft, exactly the way you love when he talks to you.

“Can you stay?” you ask and look down; maybe he would prefer to go to Sharon because you were really mean?

Bucky’s smile grows, and he lets himself fall down next to you and wraps his arms around your body, pulling you into his lap. His hands slide your back up and down, and he looks into your eyes like they are the most adorable things he has ever seen. Your arms are wrapped around his neck, and you play with his soft hair.

He leans closer, his lips almost touching yours, when you stop him.

“Did you brush your teeth and clean your face after she kissed you?” you ask with a raised eyebrow, and Bucky can’t stop himself and bursts out laughing.

“Yes,” he whispers, and he places one of his hands on your neck to pull you closer. His lips touch yours softly, and you almost melt in his embrace. Bucky moves his lips against yours, and a small smile appears on his lips.

“I love you, James,” you mumble against his lips, and he rolls his eyes.

“Can you be serious for a moment, doll?” he asks, laughing, and you look like you need to think about it before you answer him.

“I don’t know what you mean, James,” you giggle.

“But I love you too, doll,” he chuckles, pressing his lips on yours again to make you shut up and feel you as close as possible in that moment. He feels complete and comfortable now, being with his girl, the one he loves more than everyone, the one who loved him even when he was the Winter Soldier.

Taglist: @nicoline1998enilocin | @sergeantbarnessdoll | @km-ffluv | @kandis-mom | @lives-in-midgard | @bucky-barnes-lover | @felicitylemon | @sweater-bee | @identity2212 | @cjand10 | @bookishtheaterlover7 | @harleycao | @buckyalpine (I tag you here because I can’t find the post where you asked for angst oneshots)

[avelera]

Re-watched Captain America: Winter Soldier and First Avenger (in that order lol) and hey guys

Remember that time Steve woke up in New York City 70 years later and panicked, thinking he was in HYDRA hands and haha, actually it turns out, he kind of was??

Also remember that bit where he found out in the most deadpan way possible (thanks Nick) that everyone he had ever known and loved was dead or aged to to the point of death in the blink of an eye, and no one ever actually like, gave him a moment's sympathy for the fact his entire world ended in a split-second of self-sacrifice that ended up just being one battle in a war that never ended?

Remember when he found out that the only person left who loved him, Peggy, only occasionally remembered him in moments of lucidity haha and then it turned out that the only other person who still lived and who loved him, Bucky, also only remembered him in moment's of lucidity?? Good times, good fucking times, I'm an emotional wreck about it

And one last thing, because I will never ever fucking ever let this grudge go, remember that time Tony fucking Stark who I mostly love but in the context of Steve Rogers specifically I want to tear him to shreds, decided to have beef with a literal traumatized 20-something year old war veteran whose entire world just dissolved into nothing in the 70 years he was on ice, and Tony fucking Stark decided to pick a fight with this guy and rag on him 24/7, despite being in his 40s himself and completely comfortable, stable, and with insane levels of wealth and privilege, because his fucking dad who has been dead for decades apparently loved this guy more, something that would have bewildered Steve who like, barely knew Howard outside of work, and that Steve had fucking nothing to do with Howard's neglect of his son because it all happened while he was unconscious?

Don't even get me started on Civil War, we will be here all day in how these supposedly equal sides weren't even slightly equal in morality or logic at all, but I will die on the hill of Tony fucking Stark was being a Grade A fucking asshole for his stupid man-child fight he picked with Steve Rogers when you actually objectively view Steve's life story as a human being instead of a symbol that he was literally forced to be

Whew. Ok. I'm ok now.

...

AND ANOTHER THING...!

[kayhi808]

OK, let’s say he comes back from a mission and it was really rough on him and he kind of relapsed into the winter soldier(slightly very very slightly) and Steve let’s reader know that a lot happened. Abby has went away with Natasha for a weekend together as reader was really busy w work. Bucky comes home and is so so on edge and is afraid he will hurt reader and isolates himself especially after he almost hurt reader when she crept up too silent behind him. so he hates himself rn. BUT THEN ABBY RUNS IN OUT OF NOWHERE AND HUGS HIM CUS SHE WAS WAITING FOR HIM TO COME BACK AND BOOM man either lets out the craziest sigh or low keys cries because he realizes he is okay. idk something like that if it makes sense ¯\_(ツ)_/

🧹

Thank you, to my favorite anon!💕 It took me forever to get to this one. This was a lot to go on. It could have gone really dark and angsty, but I'm trying to keep my Abby stories a little lighter. Hope you like it.🤗

Bucky was gone on what turned out to be an intense mission & word just came back that his team was returning. Steve and Bucky were heading the mission so you weren't too worried. You always like when they are sent out together because you knew they had each other's backs. ALWAYS

The quinjet touched down & the crew disembarked. You saw Bucky and Steve walking down the ramp, deep in conversation. As soon as Bucky made eye contact with you, you felt something was wrong. Then he veered away from you to another entry into the Tower and you knew something was very wrong.

You started to follow him, but Steve blocked your path. "What happened? What's wrong with Bucky??"

"Y/N, give him some time, this mission was rough on him."

"Is he hurt? Is he ok?"

"Physically he's fine..."

Impatiently, "then tell me what happened!"

"It's his story to tell. He needs a little bit of time to sort out the demons in his head. That's all."

"That's all?!?"

"It's what he wants."

******

You were able to give him 2 days to himself, until you caved in & tried calling Bucky just to hear his voice. For him to tell you he's ok but needs time to himself. You'd understand that. But for him to send your call to voicemail pissed you off. You left a message last night & today's you were leaving to pick up Abby, you tried again & you got his voicemail.

"Babe? Can you please call me back, text me...or something, so I know you're alive yet purposefully ignoring me? That would be great." You sigh, "Is this how we are going forward in this relationship? This will be the new communication norm?"

You gather your things to head out of the building, but up ahead you see Steve & Bucky. You hurry to catch up with them. You grab onto Bucky's arm & before you can even say his name, his hand is on your sternum, and you're shoved against the wall. A startled yelp escapes & he releases you immediately. "Fuck!" His hands drop to your arms, "Are you ok? Did I hurt you?" Steve pulls Bucky back.

You reach for his hands, "I'm fine. You startled me." You look up at him and he looks so tired. You go to hug him but he pulls away from you. "Are you going to tell me what the hell is going on, Buck?" You turn to Steve, "Would you do me a big favor and pick-up Abby from pre-school, please?"

"Yea, sure " He shoots Bucky a worried glance before he leaves.

*****

Once you're back at Bucky's residence, "Are you ready to tell me what happened?" You flop yourself down on his couch.

"I can't... I can't let those things...touch you. You don't need to know about HYDRA."

"Bucky, I know about HYDRA. I work here! Nick Fury is my boss."

"You don't need to know about the Winter Soldier. You don't need to know about me back then." Bucky stops pacing & drops down into his chair.

"You don't think I've done my research before dating you? Before I let you be around my daughter? What you did back then was not your fault. You weren't given a choice. HYDRA had control of you. Babe, you are not the same person."

"I'm still capable..."

You move to sit at the foot of his chair, "No! Stop it."

"Doll, I could have killed you back there!"

"You didn't. You wouldn't. You're James Barnes, not the Winter Soldier!" You squeeze his hands. "Talk to me, Bucky. Let me share your burden. We're in this life together. Please tell me what happened."

With a deep sigh, "We went to hit an active HYDRA base camp." You nod. "Doll, there were cribs there. In the lab, there were children's bed and restraints." You softly gasp, squeezing his hands tighter. "We couldn't locate any of the children, but now I know they're out there somewhere."

"Oh, Bucky." Tears prickling your eyes, "I'm so sorry."

"I killed them all. Whoever was there." You kneel up to wrap your arms around him. It took a while for him to return your hug, but you didn't let go. He gives in and pulls you tightly to him.

"You think I wouldn't do the same if I could? Wouldn't anyone do the same? The only difference is that we don't have your skill set." Pulling away, cradling his face between your palms to get him to look at you, "Just because you have the skills, does not make you the Winter Soldier." You give him a soft kiss. "The job you took on isn't an easy one, but you're making the world a safer place. For people like me and Abby."

"I saw the cribs and beds and I...I thought of Abigail. And...I snapped." You nod.

"I understand how that could happen." Bucky pulls you onto his lap & he holds you for a long time in silence. You offered him comfort any way you could. You understand now why he was so affected by this mission. "You need to talk to me and tell me what's going on. You can't shut me out, Buck. I was so worried. If the situation was flipped, how would you handle me shutting down on you?"

"Not well." He gives you a slight smile.

Nodding, "exactly." You lean back against him as he wraps you in his arms.

"I'm sorry."

*******

Steve picks up Abby and visits with Ms Grace before returning to the Tower, hoping you and Bucky ironed out your differences. He texts you both letting you know he's got Abs in the common room watching TV.

"You knows what, Uncle Steve?"

"No, what Abs."

"Chloe and Mia says a new Lilo & Stitch movies coming outs."

"Oh, yea? Wow."

Abby stands up on the couch next to Steve and slings her arm across his shoulders. "Rights?? I so 'cited! You know what, Uncle Steve?"

"No, what Abs?"

"You wants to take me to the Lilo & Stitch movies?"

"Won't your Mama and Bucky take you to see it? Did they say no?" Steve has to ask. He's not going to be caught up in one of Abby's tricks and get in trouble with you.

"Mama gonna takes me, but you can takes me," holding up two fingers, "two time." She gives Steve a sweet smile.

"Abigail."

She cackles. "What if I likes it so much and wants to sees it again? Like Wicked?"

Steve rolls his eyes, "Fine. If you like it so much, I'll take you to watch it again."

Abby squashes her cheek against Steve's while strangling him around the neck, "Oh, tank you! Yous the best Uncle in all the worlds!" She sees Bucky in the doorway and Uncle Steve is quickly forgotten. "Papa! You homes!!" She bounces off the couch and runs to Bucky with arms spread wide.

Bucky steps back, away from your incoming toddler, banging into you. "It's ok, Bucky."

Abby doesn't slow down, so Bucky is forced to catch her and lift her into his arms. "I missed-ed you so much!" Abby peppers his face with kisses. She pulls away & squishes his face between her palms, "You missed-ed me, too?" A happy hopeful smile on her face.

Bucky nods, answering quietly, "Yea, baby. I missed-ed you, too," dropping a kiss on her nose which makes her do a happy wiggle.

@waywardhunter95 @rebeccapineapple @ordelixx @onceithough @thezombieprostitute @ilovetaquitosmmmm @julvrs @unaxv @s-a-v-a-n-a-34 @winterslove1917 @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @mrsnikstan @hisredheadedgoddess28 @itsteambarnes @otterlycanadian @purplecolordeer @buckitostan @littleredwolf @mcucatlady @silas-aeiou @hzdhrtss @florie1 @thecubanator2 @enchantedbarnes @selella @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @cjand10 @pancake-05 @ozwriterchick @crazyunsexycool @baw1066 @nommingonfood @jvanilly

[bellewintersroe]

Hey, there! I have a BoB headcanons request that is a bit angsty/heavy so if you don’t feel like doing it, I completely understand! I was just wondering how the easy boys would go about trying to comfort a reader with guilt/trauma from either killing a German soldier (like Winters when he shoots that one SS soldier) or not being able to save a fellow soldier if you’d like to go the nurse route. I’d just love some Winters and Eugene comfort!! Thank you!🫶

Heyyy so sorry for the slow reply!! Thank you, this is such a good request!!! I’ve combined both your ideas for the diff guys- I hope you enjoy!

Tw - talks of death, guilt, trauma, ptsd, war, etc.

BoB Headcanons - How they comfort you

Eugene Roe:

As a fellow medic, Gene understands completely what you’re doing when you start shutting yourself away.

After leaving Bastogne you didn’t actually think things could get much worse, but when you lose Jackson in the dingy basement in the middle of Haguenau - let’s just say you don’t take it well.

“It woulda’ happened anyway… it’s not your fault.” Gene would remind.

You’d sigh with a heavy heart and attempt to leave any kind of confrontation.

“Gene you weren’t the one assigned to take care of them. He died under my watch, I didn’t do good enough.”

Not only are you heavily burdened by Jackson’s death, but you’re also exhausted and cold and hungry. Gene at first would watch from afar with a furrow between his brow until enough was enough and he confronted you.

He’d find a way to pull you back in, he’d wrap blankets around your shoulders when you’re just sat staring into space. Or he’d force Hershey bars into your pocket, practically begging you to eat.

“It’s my fault.” You’d tell him.

Gene just takes the honest route, he knows that’s better than blatantly trying to soften the blow with anything else.

“Jackson woulda died anyway. I saw what happened and… you could’ve tried everything n’ he wouldn’t have made it…”

If you need him to go into technical medical talk he would. He’d do anything, he’s the type of guy to sit talking with you for hours.

Huge empathetic so cannot stand the idea of you being troubled by this or taking the blame.

If the two of you aren’t already together then he’s a little more careful to not overstep boundaries, but he 1000% keeps the blanket wrapped over your shoulders in place by holding it there with an arm over you. Even if his hand is freezing.

Dick Winters:

It maybe happens around Bastogne? You happen to fire at the Germans and when you guys go look after, one of them is just a kid.

Let’s say he’s nowhere near older than twenty, still in his teens, and you’re absolutely horrified from the second you find this out.

It makes you freak tf out and the men bundle you back to the line pretty fast, they all know what it feels like, that guilt ravishing them alive. And Winters especially understands the exact thing you’ve been through.

I feel like he’d find out pretty fast, the two of you are in a private relationship that can’t be openly shown out on the field.

He’d take a sensible approach, despite being oh so worried.

Has you come sit in his and Lewis’ tent at CP.

Would offer you a drink, food, another coat, new boots, worries that you need feminine products? Idk the man just wants to take care of u ok.

When it comes to it and you say no to everything he simply sits besides you and just looks over your face.

Then he opens up about Holland and how he shot another soldier, just a kid. It’s relatable and the feelings he talks about are exactly what you’re experiencing.

If you get upset he can’t engulf you into the hug he wants, but he deffo squeezes you with an arm around you, encouraging you to know this isn’t your fault.

Extremely mindful of you for the following days after. If you wanna go off the line then he does that, if you wanna go for a walk then he makes somebody’s with you at all times.

Super super emotionally intelligent and would support you through anything.

Joe Liebgott:

Probs walks into the quiet aid station all loud mouthed and hollering about something irrelevant. He knew you were on shift tonight with one other nurse who’s occupied upstairs in the building. Your arrival in Austria luckily called for a lot less gruesome wounds and gory deaths- but every now and then, someone slipped through your fingers.

Your head snaps up, away from the patient who lay still before you. Your eyes are full of tears and at the sight of Joe, you begin to sob.

“What is it-” immediately goes to run forwards, but then he clicks when he noticed the bloodied man below you. Your hands are covered in crimson, trembling and it’s smeared all over your uniform.

Realises pretty quick what’s happened.

“I couldn’t save him, Joe.” You wept. “Nobody came to help.”

Understandably Joes first reaction is to throw a fit that nobody else was here to help you- but then he takes in your broken expression once more and remembers where they were. Things like this just happened out here.

“Okay, baby.” He’d sooth, approaching you as carefully as possible. He’d take your hands in his and meet your gaze. “Let me help you.”

You can’t tell me that he wouldn’t be the biggest sweetheart ever?

He’d wash your hands for you, rubbing his thumb gently over each patch of skin, then he’d get help from another medic, a little pissed that nobody came to help. After that he’d tell whoever’s in charge you’re done off shift and take you back to your room (screw fraternisation rules, Joe doesn’t follow them, not when it comes to you).

He’d pretty soon find out that the guy on the table had a burst artery, whilst he’s undressing you from your stained uniform, he’d tut to himself gently.

“Somethin’ like that happens n’ they’re gone. There wasn’t anything you coulda’ done.”

“No but- I could’ve tried! If somebody helped then I could’ve done it! We’re not in Bastogne anymore I should’ve been able to help!”

“Y/n, you know you can’t think like that.”

Wouldn’t allow it for a second that you blamed yourself, it physically pains him that you’re sobbing and shaking, Joe holds you close and just lets you get it all out, feeling pretty revengeful for whoever left you alone that night.

“It’s all my fault, Joe…”

“No… no, sweetheart. C’mere, the guy was a dead man the second he got hit..”

The best with comforting you with words, if he needs to be a little harsh to get it through to you that it’s not your fault he will- but he won’t allow it for a second that you take any form of blame for this.

It hurts him to know it’s hurting you.

[maraskywalkers]

okay so I was on a bit of a "soap survives mw3" soapghost kick & then got on a nikprice kick so now I've been thinking a lot about a "soap lives but is taken by makarov" winter soldier esque au where nik learns soap is alive & in makarov's clutches & ultimately helps rescue him but he doesn't immediately tell Price & the 141 so there's some drama & tension about it

okay so like he doesn't say anything because at first it's only rumors right like very vague underground conspiracy theory type stuff so he's not gonna say anything because he doesn't want to get their hopes up or drag them into some dangerous obsession that could ultimately be fruitless

bc I also headcanon that price goes to nik after killing shepard and the two of them end up spending the night together like you know they have a very intense passionate night where price is actually the most vulnerable he'll allow himself to be & it's emotional & intense & heartbreaking & beautiful okay you know all those things

and anyway it's relevant bc nik has seen where price is at right like what makarov has done to his captain what losing soap has done to him & also the 141 bc price expressed his concerns for them with gaz trying to hold them together while ghost is slowly slipping further away from them

so ok he doesn't say anything but keeps his ears open to anything & ofc starts getting more & more pieces so eventually he actually investigates & then he contacts laswell like this could actually be something but we need actual proof & she's on board even tho the whole thing sounds impossible & they do get their proof that soap is alive & makarov has him

but soap is not soap anymore

he's been tortured & brainwashed a la winter soldier style, he doesn't know who he is or have any memories of the 141, he's just been turned into a weapon for makarov to use however he wants

so nik & laswell decide not tell price, maybe it's more laswell than nik (she's worried this might actually break them & they're barely holding it together as is?) but they ultimately agree & make a deal to find a way to bring soap back & bring soap home before they do

and I'm not totally sure what I want but I like the idea of them getting him back & he winds up staying with nik for a while in like a safehouse or some hidden location while they help him and want to reach out to price & the 141 like as soon as they him secured at the safehouse but they aren't able to right away like maybe the 141 got a lead on makarov so they're on the other side of the world & had to go dark or something like there's a disruption in their ability to communicate

but makarov can still finds out that soap has been not only discovered but rescued before nik or laswell can get the 141 bc like it's not something they can drop in a phone call they're trying to tell them in person & everything you know?

but anyway I kinda like them finding out thru makarov bc he thinks that it's them like he knows they're all a team or whatever & he knows who has soap so he makes some sort of comment about him and price is like wtf are you talking about & bc makarov is a sadistic bastard he laughs all like oh you don't know & idk it's a whole thing

but so then! ofc they get a hold of laswell & nik & it all comes out & it's terrible bc the 141 is hurt & angry but like price is esp hurt by nik not telling him bc he was there after & what they talked about & how price had opened himself to nik about losing soap & nik is like I wanted to tell you but I had to be sure I could bring him back to you first & also like "I didn't know then, I didn't know that night, I swear to you" and it's all emotional & tense but they end up making up (and eventually making love again ofc)

and oh actually I think I had the idea of it being soap eventually like calling price & gaz & ghost out on being mad but probably moreso ghost I think actually bc price works thru it with nik & laswell on a more personal level bc they have history there the three of them & gaz does too but it's different & ofc he is upset but I think he'd be able to understand a bit more whereas ghost who is already not great at feelings is like still reeling from soap being alive & being kept from him by a friend/ally (past trust issues popping up again) that he hasn't even begun to process soap being tortured & brainwashed yet so soap has to bring him around

like a soap who's been slowly coming back to himself with help but maybe he's not totally there but enough that he gets it you know he appreciates what nik & laswell have done for him & are still doing & he's able to offer perspective like "it was awful Lt I think if you'd seen me it've killed ya" (ghost would have some comment about like already being dead or how losing soap almost killed him, you know something dramatic & devastating & borderline romantic all at once) and eventually they mend all the rifts & everything

and I focused on nikprice here but it is equally in my head as a soapghost story like soap is never fully gone so the heartbreak of remembering but not remembering & recovering & dealing with the fallout of having been makarov's & all of the guilt & shame he'd feel (uncalled for obvs but he'd still grapple with it) and like knowing simon before he fully remembers him and just being heartbreaking

and ghost too like I have a line in my head when price is confronting nik that's along the lines of "we almost lost simon" bc ghost was not handling his grief well and like i can't decide if they were pre relationship or established relationship but I'm a sucker for the ghost hadn't ever said I love you out loud to soap yet thing so it's especially like gut punch

but ultimately a happy ending ofc for all of them!! like bucky barnes soap gets his mind, his memories, himself back and he heals & so does ghost & the rest of the 141 & soapghost probably get married bc I love that and nikprice actually acknowledge they're in love & committed to each other

so yeah if you read all of that wow thank you sorry if it wasn't totally coherent I've played mw1 & mw2 but haven't finished mw3 so sorry if things are inaccurate or just like weird & silly

I have no current plans to actually write this fic bc I don't have the confidence to do it justice or the motivation to try right now but like who knows??

but! if you're a fic writer & you wanna take it & run with it please do!!!! just let me know so I can read it!! same for fan artists!

[littleseasiren]

Tell me often

Summary: You’re afraid to tell Bucky you love him too often, but he needs to hear it more.

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Warnings: Fluff

Words: ~ 1000

You startle when you hear the door softly open and close but smile when you don't hear any footsteps. Bucky must be home.

"Bucky? I'm in the bedroom."

"Don't move, babydoll." He groans as he enters the bedroom. 

When he sees you reading a book on the bed, his eyes soften as he smiles at you. He walks to the edge of the bed before sinking onto his knees and almost collapsing on top of you, only his strong arms holding him up so he doesn't squash you. 

You can't help laughing as he sets his head on your stomach, his hair tickling the skin not covered by your camisole. His arms wrap around your waist, squeezing you softly as he groans against you.

"You ok, babe?" Your voice is laced with concern as he huffs against your chest. 

"Yeah, it was just a long day. The meeting started ok, then..." He becomes quiet once again, clenching his jaw against your stomach.

"You want to tell me about it? It's ok if you don't want to." 

He takes a deep breath and gives you another short squeeze. "One of the agents came to the meeting and started saying the mission failure was my fault, that having me there was a bad idea and that they should remove me from active missions."

"What! Are they crazy?" Your voice increases in pitch with your irritation. "You weren't even in charge of the team! How the hell do they think it was your fault?" You wrap your hands in Bucky's hair, playing with it to give you something to do.

"Apparently, having the Winter Soldier there is distracting, not knowing which side I'm on." Bucky's tone makes you worry even more: it's flat and emotionless. Does he believe this idiot? When he feels you draw in a deep breath he talks before you can.

"Don't worry, babydoll. Steve already ripped him a new one. And surprisingly, Tony jumped in too. He told the agent that I'm not the Winter Soldier anymore, and that everyone knows I'm on their side. When he wouldn't back down, they fired him and blacklisted him from ever going on active missions again. It just - it just brought back some bad memories, you know? I just need to snuggle with you a bit more then I'll be fine."

You move his hair to the side, then trace your finger down his temple, over his nose, circling his full lips before moving back to his temple again. Concentrating on your faint touch helps calm his anxiety. "What can I do to make it better?"

He stills for a moment then you feel his breath against your stomach. "Can you - can you..." he starts but doesn't finish. You give him time, knowing he sometimes struggles to vocalise his needs. He growls against your stomach before he clears his throat. "Can you tell me how you feel about me? That you like me?" That you... like him? What was he talking about, this man of yours?

"Bucky, I need you to look at me." You wiggle until he reluctantly lifts his head and sits opposite you on the large bed, close enough to touch. "You want me to tell you how much I like you?" 

Bucky's cheeks are tinged pink as he nods silently at you. "Bucky, you idiot. I love you! I love you so much, babe!"

Bucky closes his eyes as goosebumps appear on his skin, a smile growing on his face. When he opens his eyes again, you see they are filled with excitement and happiness. He breathes in deeply as if savouring the moment.

"You know that, right? That I love you?" You can't help but ask.

He glances up at you, the look in his eyes making you pause mid-breath. A flash of uncertainty appears before he looks down and plays with the bed cover.

"Bucky, babe, I love you so much. There is nothing in this world that will stop me from loving you. I'd tell you all the time if I could."

He's quiet for a moment before his beautiful blue eyes meet yours. "Why don't you? I mean, why can't you?"

You clench your hands together as you think about how best to answer him. "Um, well, I grew up in a very loving family, you know? We were close and we were never afraid to remind each other how much we cared. But I sometimes forget that not everyone is like that. My previous partner got angry when I said it too often. And I didn't love him nearly as much as I love you. I don't want you to ever feel like I'm just saying it without meaning it." You glance up at him, "Does that make sense?"

"It does, babydoll. But every time you tell me you love me, you mean it, right?"

You gasp at his stupid question. "Of course!"

"Then it will never be too much for me. I'm not like that moron who broke your heart. Maybe...um, can you tell me more often?" He grasps your hand as he pulls you into his lap, his large arms wrapping around you. "Every time you say it, I'll know you mean it, I promise."

You squeal as you wrap your arms around his neck; he wants you to tell him how you feel more often! "Of course, babe. How much more, just a little bit or lots?" You don't want to overdo it.

"Lots more, so I don't forget. Tell me every day at least, if that's not too much?"

"It's not! I Love you so much, Bucky Barnes! I love you so much that it feels like my heart is going to burst out of my chest! I love you more than a canary loves to sing, more than the sun loves the moon!" 

The smile that lights up his face is contagious as he lays you down on the bed and starts kissing your neck, pulling you as close as humanly possible. "I love you too, babydoll. I love you so much!"

If Bucky is ok with you telling him how you feel, if he knows how much you really mean it, then you might just have to tell him every chance you get.

Even if it's every minute of the day, just so he never forgets. 

Tag List:

@morganmofresh @dottirose @cjand10 @Krm22332 @buggy14 @crazyunsexycool @tripleoyaa

@mandijo17 @fluffysucker @shelbygeek @moviegurl2002​

[mvltisstuff]

meet me at our spot - c.f

summary: after a text from conrad asking y/n to come over, she could never say no.

conrad fisher x reader

a/n: soooo i’m like a year late to the tsitp game… but i just finished it and i cried like a baby omfg and conrad’s #1 protector!!

conrad (10:45 PM)

come over, i’m on the dock

the second the notification popped up on her screen, she was out of bed. she was dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a tank top, laying in bed but not being able to sleep. she’d been the one to paint a smile on conrad’s face this summer, and susannah knew that. she was happy to have y/n over whenever she could, noticing oldest son’s face light up when she walked in.

y/n was conrad’s soldier. she fought battles for him when he felt like he was too weak to do it himself. he cried on her and his best days were spent with her. the second they kissed last summer, he knew they were in it for the long run. no one could point out a cause for conrad’s recent misery. all they wanted to do was find a light for him in this tunnel. y/n was well aware that he had been struggling. he wasn’t opening up, but she knew that just being there next to him in bed was enough for him. no one has ever gone through the trouble of loving him so much, instead of just reaching over for a condom. he felt trapped everywhere he went, and the dock is where he decompressed. y/n always found him there, the only person he really wanted there. belly and jeremiah had come out there, but something about y/n’s hand in his made his heart balance.

as much as he wishes to forget all his thoughts, he was so happy with her all the time. she was like an eraser to the spelling mistakes and a bandaid on the cuts. she was more than just a girlfriend to him, she was a lifesaver.

y/n decided to just walk over to the fisher’s beach house. she hadn’t driven, knowing he’d probably want her to stay the night as well. despite the sun being out of the sky, the air was still warm and wrapped you in like a hug. you could smell the salt of the ocean and the damp grass in their yard. the sky was clear, just the high crescent of the moon reflecting on the water. something about it was therapeutic, reminder her of the boy waiting for her in the backyard.

she shuffled through a few patches a grass before carefully making her way down the dock to meet conrad. she greeted him as he had a joint in between his lips, lighting it up before releasing the smoke. “hey,” y/n says, sitting down next to him.

“you came,” he replies, almost sounding surprised.

“of course i did,” she grins. she takes the joint and places it between her own lips, inhaling and then blowing out a puff. the dock smelt like weed, but it was no secret that they’d been smoking. besides, susannah did it with laurel all the time. “you ok?”

“yeah, just wanted to see you,” he looks into her eyes and smiles. “i couldn’t sleep.”

“explains the pot we’re smoking. i couldn’t sleep either.” she hands it back to conrad. “even if i was sleeping, you know i’d come to you whenever.”

“i know. i’m always just eager to see you in person.”

“why?” she questions, teasingly. she knows the answer, but wants him to do it for himself. he leans in, pulling the joint back and landing a passionate kiss on her lips.

“because i can’t kiss you like that over the phone.”

she blushes like a middle schooler when her crush just looks at her once. like they haven’t been seeing each other since last summer and like she isn’t the only thing getting him out of bed in the morning. she looks deep into his red eyes, admiring every thought and feeling inside his beautiful head. “i’m always here for you, conrad. winter, spring, summer, and fall, i’ll be there.”

his lips curl into another thrilling smile, wrapping his arm around her as they pass the joint around a few times. they sit there for a while, glaring at the calm ripples in the water. it was just before midnight when they checked his phone again, seeing the bright numbers illuminate their faces. he gives y/n a mischievous look. “are you hungry?”

she directs another look of confusion to him, “what are you saying, fisher?”

the two stumble inside, stoned as they walk into the kitchen to take out a box of mac & cheese from the cabinet. they look over to jeremiah and steven, both slumped on the couch with their controllers on their stomach and the TV on a screensaver. “don’t wake them up, they’re gonna want some!” conrad attempts a whisper, but his small giggles pass through instead.

“shut the fuck up, we’re trying to be quiet,” y/n replies. as soon as she opens the drawer to get out a pot, a few of them clatter around and steven shuffles in his sleep. they both crouch down on the floor in hysterics until they hear the light snores from steven again.

“don’t worry about jeremiah, he’s slept on the bench at six flags once,” conrad says, peeking over to the two sleeping teens on the couch. they slowly fill the pot up with water and wait for it to boil. they don’t turn the timer on, just calculate the times on their phone as the water almost boils over to edge.

“shit, i told you to watch the water,” conrad says, turning the burner down.

“no, we both agreed i was gonna look at the phone.”

“it’s whatever, baby, just pour that cheese in here,” conrad requests after straining the flavorless pasta out of the water. they both pour each others bowls before running upstairs to conrad’s room. “we fucking did it!”

“finally, oh my god,” y/n speaks, sitting down on his bed as she places her bowl on his nightstand. “wanna watch shitty reality tv?”

“what type of question is that? of course, i want to,” he says sarcastically, throwing his hands up in the air before laying down on his bed and pulling y/n into him. her head was on his chest as his arm wrapped around her. they watched some old reruns of the kardashians before they were both eventually knocked out on his bed.

the sun had finally risen, and everyone else was up and ready for the day. they’d been eating their breakfast, and the kids were asking where conrad was.

“i’ll go check on connie, i’ll be right back,” susannah says, sweetly as she walks up the stairs she walks in to conrad and y/n on the bed, their bowls abandoned on the floor as her head is on chest, and his arms were around her. susannah laughs and debates whether or not to shake them awake, but she just nudges conrad a bit as he stretches and opens his eyes. “hey, we’re making breakfast if you want to join us?”

“oh, yeah. i’ll be down in a minute. she was tired, i might let her sleep for a little longer,” he says, looking at y/n.

“of course, she’s always welcome, connie,” susannah leaves the door open a crack and goes back downstairs. if y/n made conrad happy, then y/n made susannah happy.

[iamthatonefangirl]

pitiful pt. 2 - nsfw winter soldier

disclaimer: same as pt. 1: fully consensual by both parties although not explicitly stated. dark themes. read at your own discretion.

part 1

ok this is 15 minutes after the first part. guys i actually could not help myself...

~~~

you feel the intense vibrations in the floor as he stalks back into the room. you hear him get closer and closer, until his boots come into view. he stops.

you look up to his face as he squats to your level.

with more care than he's shown you this whole time, he takes your hands and helps you to your knees.

"you listen?" he questions. you nod your head 'yes.' he hums in acknowledgement.

he brings his right hand to your face, wrapped tightly around your chin, fingers digging into your jaw. it's then that he presses his fingers together, forcing your lips to part.

his eyes light up at the sight of his release leaking out of your mouth.

he stands back up and reaches both hands in front of him. you take them as he helps you up from the floor.

"bed," he barks. you scramble to make your way to the bed behind him, laying on it as he follows, climbing atop you.

"didn't know you had it in you, baby," he begins, breath hot on your neck, words ringing in your ear. "thought for sure i'd be smacking your ass til it was bright red."

his hands move to undo the clasp on your jeans.

"guess i still could," he challenges, flashing you a smirk.

at the sound of that, you whine. "no..."

his smirk falls into a deep frown, eyes suddenly angry.

"you think you can talk back to me, you little bitch?" he challenges. you're shaking your head 'no' before he even finishes speaking.

"i'm sorry, i'm sorry," you whisper, tears welling in your eyes in your desperation.

"you expect me to believe that?" his voice is threatening.

his metal hand slaps itself over your mouth, unable to speak another word. his other hand is hasty as he pushes your jeans down to your knees, his gaze following. he proceeds to shove his hand down the front of your panties.

"teach you to talk back to me, bitch," he says, as though he's speaking to himself, not even looking at you.

you become frantic as his hand moves too fast for you to keep up with. your whimpers are muffled and you squirm uncontrollably.

he knows you too well, knows what your body likes. he takes advantage of this -- he knows you're nowhere near close when he tells you, "you come now, or not at all."

you let out a cry into the palm resting over your mouth. you try with all your might to will it to happen.

it doesn't.

he pulls away, pinching your clit as he does. it sends a jolt up your spine.

"you gonna talk back to me again?"

he frees your mouth to respond.

"no, sir."

he grunts, as though he doesn't believe it.

"we'll see about that."

he pulls your jeans and panties off, tossing them away before manhandling you into position, ass up, hands behind your back, shoulders digging into the bed. you turn your head away from the pillow, looking behind you to watch him.

he brings a hand down, and you know he means business, because fuck, that one hurt.

twenty spanks later and you're a moaning, whining mess.

"gonna talk back to me ever again?"

"no, sir," you whine. "never."

his hands are suddenly gentle on your skin as he moves you to lay back down. he moves down on the bed, spreading your legs over his shoulders. he licks his lips at the sight of you dripping, leaving a wet spot on the bed.

"good. now lay back and relax, baby. gonna make you see stars."

~~~

part 1

masterlist

[sergeantbarnessdoll]

I Would Choose You In Every Lifetime » Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier

Pairings: Best Friend!40s Bucky Barnes x Best Friend!Female Reader, Best Friend/TFATWS!Bucky Barnes x Best Friend!Female Reader

Summary: Bucky would choose a lifetime with you over anything else.

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, language, best friends to lovers, crying, kissing, pet names

Written on my phone. My apologies for any mistakes.

Header made by @buckys-wintersoldier

“Why do you insist on getting into fights?” You asked, cleaning blood off of Steve’s lip with a tissue.

“He started it.” Steve says like a child.

You playfully rolled your eyes at your best friend and continued to clean the blood off of his lip and nose.

“What happened this time?” Bucky asks, walking in the alley.

“Nothing…” Steve answers, lying through his teeth.

Bucky knew he’d say that so he looked at you for the answer.

“Some guy was talking during the Army film and wouldn’t be quiet so him and Steve came back here to fight.” You tell him.

“I swear you like getting punched.” He says to Steve.

Steve rolled his eyes at Bucky.

“Did you get your orders?” Steve asks Bucky.

“The 107th, Sergeant James Barnes.” He answers with a proud smile.

“Oh my god! I’m so proud of you, Bucky!” You say, hugging him tightly.

Bucky smiles and hugs you back. You kissed his cheek before pulling away from the hug.

“I get shipped out tomorrow.” He tells you two.

The smile on your face faded away. You didn’t know he’d be getting shipped out this soon.

“Tomorrow?” You asked.

“I know it’s soon, but we can still spend the rest of today together.” Bucky says, handing a newspaper to Steve.

Steve read the top headline of the newspaper.

“Stark Expo.” Steve reads aloud.

“We’re going tonight and we got dates waiting for us.” Bucky says.

“You found a man for me?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh, no. Sorry. I couldn’t find anyone for you, doll.” He apologizes.

“Oh. It’s ok.” You say.

“Come on. Let’s not keep the girls waiting.” He says, putting his arm around Steve’s shoulder.

You followed behind them. Truth be told, you were hoping that Bucky would ask you to be his date to the Stark Expo. You’ve had a crush on him for a while, but you don’t think he feels the same way about you.

When you three got to the Stark Expo, Bucky walked hand and hand with his date. He didn’t pay attention to you at all. Steve’s date paid little to no attention to him. You felt left out.

You stayed till Howard Stark displayed a floating car before walking out. You sat on the stairs in front of the building. Steve noticed you weren’t with him and Bucky anymore and went to find you. He found you crying on the stairs. He sat down next to you and gave you a tissue to dry your tears.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asks softly with worry in his voice.

“I’m fine, Stevie.” You sniffled, lying through your teeth.

“No you’re not. Talk to me.” He says softly.

You fiddled with the tissue for a short moment before answering him.

“I’ve had a crush on Bucky for a while now and he brought a date with him. I was hoping he’d ask me to be his date to this, but he didn’t. He’s leaving tomorrow and he won’t know I’m in love with him.” You tell Steve. “I don’t even know if he feels the same way about me.” You added.

“Tell him. I’m sure he feels the same way.” He says.

“How?” You looked at Steve. “He’s with that girl.” You say.

Steve thought about it for a moment when he thought of something.

“I’ll be right back.” He says, standing up and walking away.

Steve walked back to the building. Bucky walked out of the door at the same time Steve approached it.

“I was wondering where you were.” Bucky says. “Where were you?” He asks.

“Comforting Y/N.” Steve answers. “She’s upset.” He says.

“Why’s she upset?” He asks.

“I think you should hear it from her.” He says. “She’s sitting on the stairs.” He tells him.

Bucky nodded and made his way to you. He heard your sniffles from a couple feet away. He sat down next to you on the stairs.

“Steve told me you’re upset. What’s wrong?” Bucky asks softly.

“What do you care? You have a girl with you tonight.” You say.

Bucky frowned. You’ve never talked to him like this. Even when you’re upset about something.

“What’s wrong?” He asks again.

“You wouldn’t care even if I told you.” You say.

“Never say that again. I care about you and you know it. Steve knows it too.” He says.

You lifted your head and looked at Bucky.

“If you cared, you wouldn’t have asked another girl to be your date to this thing.” You say.

“What’s that’s supposed to mean?” Bucky asks.

You scoffed before answering him.

“You barely paid attention to me tonight! It’s like I’m invisible to you.” You said, raising your voice a little bit. “You’re leaving for the Army tomorrow and you can’t you see that I’m in love with you!” You blurted out.

Bucky’s eyes went wide when you confessed your love to him.

“You’re in love with me?” He asks, making sure he heard you right.

“What does it matter?” You asked. “It’s not like you feel the same way about me.” You mumbled loud enough for him to hear.

“It does matter.” He said. “Cause I’m in love with you too.” He confesses.

“You don’t mean it. You’re going to meet some nurse in the Army and fall in love with her.” You say before standing up.

Bucky was quick to stand up and grabbed your arm before you could walk away from him.

“Let go of me, James.” You said, trying to tug your arm out of his firm grip.

“Don’t do this, doll. I don’t want to spend my last day with you mad at me.” Bucky says.

“You don’t love me.” You said.

Instead of saying anything, Bucky kisses you passionately, catching you off guard. You kissed him back.

“I do love you, doll. You just won’t believe it.” He says softly, putting his forehead against yours and looking in your teary eyes.

You gazed in his beautiful blue eyes and caressed his cheek. Bucky leaned into your touch.

“Go fight for our country and try not to die, Buck.” You almost whispered with tears rolling down your cheeks.

Bucky slowly let go of you. He watched you walk away with a couple tears escaping his eyes. You didn’t want to do this, but you had to. Your heart broke into a million pieces as you walked away. Bucky felt like someone ripped his heart out of his chest and crushed it in their bare hands. You walked away knowing that you’re in love with one of your best friends and you don’t believe he’s in love with you.

70+ YEARS LATER…

Bucky can still hear the last words you said to him before he got shipped off to the Army. “Go fight for our country and try not to die.” are the only words being echoed in his mind. He felt like he failed you. He wishes that he poured his heart and soul out to you to confess his love for you, but you could only see him with girls who aren’t you. That’s something Bucky regrets… going on dates with girls who aren’t you. He should’ve asked you to be his doll forever when he had the chance.

“Bucky?” Sam says, snapping Bucky out of his thoughts.

“Huh?” Bucky asks, looking at Sam.

“You ok?” He asks. “You looked like you were in a trance.” He says.

“Yea, I’m fine.” He says.

Bucky isn’t fine and Sam knows it.

“I know me and you don’t know each other like you and Steve did, but you can talk to me about it if you want.” Sam says.

Bucky looks down at his lap, fiddling with his fingers. He was quiet for a moment before saying anything.

“It’s about someone from my past… a girl.” Bucky finally spoke up.

“Was she your girlfriend or wife or something?” Sam asks curiously.

“No.” He answers. “Her name is Y/N and she was mine and Steve’s girl best friend.” He tells him. “Her and I got into a fight the night before I got shipped out to the Army.” He says.

“What was the fight about?” He asks.

“She was in love with me, but I was too stupid to pay her any attention that night and I asked another girl to be my date to Howard Stark’s Expo.” He explains. “I tried to tell her that I was in love with her, but she was too upset to believe me. Her last words to me were-” Bucky felt himself getting choked up on his words and took a deep breath before continuing his sentence. “Go fight for our country and try not to die.” He tells him, his voice cracking.

“Are you still in love with her?” Sam asks.

“I never stopped loving her.” Bucky said. “She wouldn’t believe me, even if she was alive.” He says.

“I’m sorry, man.” He says sincerely, patting his shoulder.

Bucky gave Sam a small smile before standing up and went to get some fresh air to clear his mind. He walked down the streets of New York with the light fall breeze blowing with his hands in his jacket pockets. He was walking past a coffee shop when he looked up and stopped in his tracks and seen someone- a woman from his past… you, working behind the counter at the coffee shop.

“Holy shit…” Bucky mumbles to himself.

Bucky entered the coffee shop at the same time you looked up from the cash register, making eye contact with him. He felt his heart skip a beat and your eyes went wide. Neither of you could believe what you two were seeing. Bucky stared at you like he just seen a ghost. You were staring at him with the same look on your face. You motioned one of your coworkers to the register before you walked over to Bucky. Bucky’s eyes never left you for a second. Yours didn’t leave him either. You two stared at each other in silence, not knowing what to say to each other.

“Do you umm- want some coffee?” You asked, remembering that you’re at work.

“Yes, that would be nice.” Bucky answers softly. “You know what I like.” He says.

You smiled and nodded your head before going to get him a coffee. Bucky sat down at a nearby table and patiently waited for you.

“Who’s the hot guy you were talking to?” One of the baristas asks.

“One of my guy best friends.” You answered quietly.

“Is he single?” She curiously asks.

You furrowed your eyebrows and looked at her.

“He’s yours. Got it.” She says before going back to work.

You put the lid on the cup and walked over to the table Bucky was sitting at. You put the coffee in front of him and sat down across from him. Bucky tapped his fingers against the paper cup and you fiddled with your fingers.

“How are you?” You asked after a short moment.

Bucky stopped tapping his fingers against the cup and looked at you. He wasn’t sure how to answer that question without getting upset.

“I’m good.” Bucky finally answers. “How are you?” He asks.

“I’m good too.” You answered.

Bucky nodded and took a sip of his coffee. You opened your mouth to say something, but one of your coworkers told you to get back to work. You took a pen out of your pocket and grabbed a napkin, writing your phone number and address.

“Here’s my phone number and address. I get off of work at 2:30pm.” You tell him.

“Ok.” He says.

You and Bucky stood up at the same time. He watched you walk back behind the counter, going back to work. Bucky smiles before leaving.

When it came time for the end of your shift, you finally went home. When you got home, you seen Bucky sitting on the front steps of your small house. It may not be much, but you call it home.

“I didn’t think you’d come.” You say, walking to your front door.

“I’ll always come if it’s you. You know that.” Bucky smiles.

There is was again… the awkward silence.

“Let’s go inside.” You say.

“That would be nice.” He says.

You unlocked the door and walked inside of your house. Bucky followed behind you, closing the door behind him. Bucky took a look around while you took your jacket off and set your things down. He smiles when he seen pictures of you and your parents hung up on the walls. His heart skipped a beat when he seen a few pictures of you, him, and Steve on the wall.

“I suppose you want answers.” You say from behind him.

“Yes I do.” He says.

You and Bucky went to the living room and sat down on the couch so the two of you can talk.

“Let’s start with why you never told me or even Steve that you were alive.” Bucky says, getting straight to the point.

“I’m sorry.” You apologized. “I should’ve reached out to one of you, but I was scared to.” You say.

“What have you could possibly be scared of?” He asks.

“HYDRA finding me.” You say.

Bucky felt his heart drop and his eyes widened when you said HYDRA.

“HYDRA got their hands on you?” Bucky asks, making sure he heard you right.

“Yes.” You nodded.

“When?” He asks.

“Shortly after you… you know.” You say, referring to when he fell off of the train in 1945.

Bucky’s jaw clenched at the thought of HYDRA getting their hands on you.

“What did they do to you?” He asks.

“Experimented different kinds of Super Soldier serums on me. None of them worked, except for one. It’s the one that worked for you and Steve.” You explained. “They put me through so many experiments. It hurt so bad.” Bucky didn’t miss the way your voice cracked. “I couldn’t take it anymore, Bucky. So I finally found the best opportunity to escape and I haven’t looked back since then.” You say.

Tears were streaming down your cheeks at this point. Bucky immediately wrapped his arms around you. You melted into his touch like you used to do.

He was ready to start questioning why you didn’t reach out to him sooner, but that’s the furthest thing on his mind.

“I’m so sorry, doll.” Bucky apologizes softly.

“It’s not your fault, Bucky. You didn’t know.” You say and sniffled.

“I could’ve done something. I could’ve looked for you.” He says.

“You are doing something now. You’re holding me.” You say, looking up at him.

Bucky looks down at you. He seen a sparkle in your eyes through the tears. It’s the sparkle he always seen when you guys were younger. He hasn’t seen it in years. It made him smile when he seen it.

“I meant what I said the night before I left for the Army. I am in love with you. I have been for years.” Bucky tells you.

You could tell he meant it this time. Unlike the last time he said it.

You gazed in his beautiful blue eyes, getting easily lost in them. Your eyes drifted down to his lips. His lips look soft. You wondered to yourself if they were still as soft as the night he kissed you before he left for the Army. You leaned in and so did Bucky. It felt like everything was in slow motion when your lips met his. You two felt that same spark and passion from that night years ago.

Your hands grasped onto his shirt, clutching the fabric in your hands. Bucky’s right hand gently caressed your cheek. You two were lost in the kiss. There was so much passion in the kiss that it took your breaths away. You two finally pulled away, gazing in each other’s eyes breathlessly.

“I’m sorry.” You apologized, almost whispering. “I shouldn’t have let that night end like that. We should’ve ended that night on something good.” You murmured softly.

“That doesn’t matter anymore. As long as we’re together now, everything is going to be the way it should be.” Bucky softly says.

“I love you, Buck.” You say to him for the first time in years.

“I love you too, doll.” His thumb softly rubbed against the skin of your cheek. “I would choose you in every lifetime.” He whispers.

A smile grew on your lips. You softly and sweetly kissed him. Bucky smiles against your lips.

“I would choose you in every lifetime too.” You tell him.

“Does this mean you’re my doll now?” He asks in a whisper.

“Oh, Bucky…” You whispered, lifting a hand to caress his bearded cheek. “I’ve always been yours. Forever and always.” You tell him softly.

“Forever and always.” He whispers, kissing you once more.

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

-Bucky’s Doll

[iliketangerines]

Ok so my friend sent in a request where it’s reader but they’re like winter soldier from marvel- and the other day she was talking to me about it and I got to thinking about it.

So like what if the male reader ((who is of course like Bucky)) is taller than the boys but is a switch leaning more to bottom. Like I imagine reader is being careless when fighting and is like “I don’t care what happens to me!” And it angers the boys into like intense praise sex

we care about you

a/n: i'm gonna be honest...i have no idea which request you're referencing. it's been a really long time

pairing: johnny cage x amab!reader x kenshi takahashi

warnings: nsfw (MDNI), blowjobs, double penetration, overstimulation, praise kink

you walk stiffly as Johnny and Kenshi drag you to the infirmary to get your wounds bandaged up, and Raiden and Kung Lao stay behind to debrief with Liu Kang

Kenshi’s grip on your hand is almost painful, and Johnny pushes you from behind to discourage you from just disappearing to your room and taking care of your own wounds

you feel uncomfortable as you stand in front of the infirmary, and Johnny basically pushes you in while Kenshi gathers the necessary materials to bandage you up

Johnny raises an eyebrow at you, looking uncharacteristically serious, and you scowl and pull off your ripped uniform, blood-soaked and dirty

the actor sucks in a breath as his eyes travel over your chest and your stomach, grimacing at the sight of blood staining every bit of your skin and deep cuts sliced into your muscle

your skin is also mottled with dark bruises, and you’re sure you’ve cracked a rib, but you don’t mention it as Johnny assesses the damage and tells Kenshi what he sees

the blood hides your scars for them, but you know they see them as Johnny wipes at your skin with a clean wet cloth to get rid of the dirty and dried-up blood

it’s the first time you’ve ever gone shirtless in front of them, and you usually wouldn’t have even entertained their request to see you shirtless

but you’re tired and exhausted and wouldn’t stand a chance against the two of them pinning you down and treating your wounds

and so Johnny just grits his teeth, letting out an angry puffs of air from his nose, and Kenshi can’t see the scars but as always he knows that something is wrong

you try to make a joke and say that most of the blood isn’t yours, but both Kenshi and Johnny send you a stern look before Kenshi hands over the materials to Johnny

they work in tandem, Kenshi telling Johnny how to apply the medicine and bandages, unable to with his limited vision from Sento, and Johnny follows every order exactly

when you lift your hand to help, Kenshi slaps it down and tells you to stay still for them both, and you growl but listen to him as Johnny finishes up your bandages

almost immediately you go to stand up, but Johnny and Kenshi push you right back down and tell you to sit the fuck down and take a break

Johnny keeps a careful watch of you, making sure you don’t even move an inch or even breathe the wrong way, while Kenshi disappears to go and make some tea

you shift in the cot, trying to get more comfortable, but you wince as your cracked rib aches and place a hand over the bruise

immediately, the actor is all over you, asking if you were okay, what hurt, what was wrong, and you try to wave him off and say that it’s nothing

he gives you a disapproving glare and asks you again in an angered voice what was wrong

you roll your eyes, mouth in a grimace and lips tightly sealed, but then the pain flares up and you can’t help it as a small groan leaves your lips

Johnny takes a note of your hand over your ribs and asks if they’re broken, and you turn your head to the side and let out a tsking sound

there’s another sound of anger that crawls out of his throat, and you know that he wants to snap at you, ask you why you had put yourself in direct danger

but then, he doesn’t and stays silent, and Kenshi returns with a steaming cup of tea and nearly shoves it into your hands as he tells you to drink every last drop

it smells bitter, disgusting, and you wrinkle your nose and glare at the swordsman

his glare is just as intense behind the blindfold as he crosses his thick arms and waits for you to drink it, sword still by his side

you bring the drink up to your mouth and close your eyes, ignoring the smell, and down it all in one gulp, putting the cup on the table next to the cot you sit on

for a second, neither of them say anything, just giving each other looks, and you figure that they’re talking telepathically again

you growl out that you’re right there, that you know they’re talking about you, and on cue, the both of them turn their heads to you, brows furrowed and frowns etched into their face

you return their grimace, baring your teeth at him like a cornered animal, and Kenshi sighs and shifts on his feet before saying that you’re on strict bed rest for at least a month

a month? what? that wouldn’t fly, you had to train, to get better, to fight and claw and beg for your survival, you would not rest for a whole month

you open your mouth to protest, but Johnny adds on that there will be no argument, that Liu Kang had already agreed and someone will be watching you at all times to make sure you stick to resting

there’s anger bristling inside of you, sharp and prickly, and you let out a hissing sound as you clench your fists and glare at them both

and then Johnny snaps at you and says that you wouldn’t have to be on bed rest if you had just been more careful on the battlefield

you argue back that being careful would’ve meant that the mission would take longer, and you managed to shorten the mission time by a whole week because of your actions

Kenshi cuts in saying that that wasn’t the point, that you deliberately put yourself in danger knowing you would be hurt and possibly killed and that action wasn’t okay

you mutter out what was the point, you always came back so why did it matter if you put yourself in danger, and Kenshi and Johnny give each other a look before turning their attention back to you

Johnny says that you shouldn’t have to put yourself in direct danger without caring about what would happen to you, that you can’t just do that, you have to worry about your own health

Kenshi adds on, saying that he knows what it’s like to not care about hurting yourself during a mission, but that there’s people out there who care about you and putting yourself in danger and possibly killing yourself would hurt them as well

his comment makes you bite your tongue, your retort dying in your mouth and making it feel dry as it clicks in your brain that someone could possibly care about you

and not just as a weapon

Johnny sits down on the cot and grabs onto your hand, squeezing it gently, and he says that they both care about you and that you jumping directly into enemy territory had scared the living daylights out of them

he continues, saying that they know something happened to you in the past, but that they want you to know that they care about you as a person, as a friend, as a lover

you turn your head, pursing your lips to stop them from trembling, and you mutter out an okay

it makes Johnny beam, and Kenshi sigh in relief before patting Johnny’s back and saying that they should leave you to rest and heal

he repeats one more time to not do anything strenuous and call them for help if you need anything, and you nod before they disappear to debrief with Liu Kang

the room is silent as you cry, falling from your cheeks onto your bandaged wounds, but your heart is warm and you fall asleep quickly, knowing you were loved

the both of them watch you carefully for the next month, making sure you weren’t doing anything too strenuous or stressful, and that your body was healing properly

you haven’t felt this well-rested and cared for in…well, forever, and you truly appreciate their efforts as they dote on you

your wounds heal faster than they have ever before, and a month passes by quickly as you focus on yourself and some old hobbies from a different life

you sit in your room, reading a book with an empty cup next to you when your door slides open and reveals Kenshi and Johnny laughing together

they glance over to you, and Johnny goes over first, tilting your head up and kissing you deeply, his hand snaking up to cradle the back of your head and pull you into him

you sigh into the kiss, closing your eyes and enjoying the taste of something minty on his breath, and Johnny pulls away when you feel your lungs burn with the need to breathe

he’s gentle with you, sitting down in your lap and telling you all about his day with the usual dramatic flair, and you rest your hands on his hips, squeezing them

Kenshi undresses himself, placing his shoes down neatly by the door and stripping off his jacket to reveal his body covered in a slight sheen of sweat

the swordsman hums and nods in agreement to whatever Johnny is saying, and Johnny strips himself down as well, throwing his jacket to the floor as he also tries to cool down from the hot day

you only have on a pair of boxers and tshirt, but by the time they’re done stripping down to their bare skin, you feel more naked than them

Johnny’s words finally ebb as he rests his hands on your shoulders, and he smiles down at you and asks how your day was

you start, repeating the actions of your rather mundane but relaxing day, but then you let out a choked sound as Johnny grinds down on your cock

he smirks down at you, telling you to continue, and there’s a pause before you stutter along, trying to keep your cool as he continues to grind down on you

by the end, your sentences barely make any sense, and your fingers are gripping onto his hips desperately as your own buck into his as you search for more friction

he leans in close to you, breath warming your ear as he says that they’ve both missed you, missed hearing your needy whines for them to fuck you

then he pulls away and sighs, watching your chest heave up and down and how your eyes glaze over in need as you stifle a whimper

Johnny just gets up off of you, and your lap suddenly feels a lot colder without his warmth on you

but he pulls on your hand and tugs you to your shaky legs, and then Johnny pushes you to sit in between Kenshi’s spread legs

you do so readily and let out a breath of air as you feel Kenshi’s hard cock press into your back, hot and heavy with need

Johnny settles down between your legs on his knees, and he pulls off your boxers, letting your cock spring free and bob in the air

Kenshi hums and kisses the side of your neck, using his hands to hook your legs over his knees so that you can’t escape Johnny’s attention on you

Johnny wraps his hand around your cock, pumping it torturously slow, and he says quietly that neither him nor Kenshi could forget what you said a month ago

you stutter out a what, mind too heavy and fuzzy to recall what you had said a month ago, and Johnny smiles at your reaction, licking a strip from the base of your cock to the tip and listening to your slight whimper

he places his lips over the tip and presses his tongue into the slit just lightly, making you gasp and buck your hips uselessly at the pleasure

Kenshi continues his sentence, saying that they want to show you how much they care about you, how much they want you and need you to be safe

the memory finally fades back in as you remember how you basically said it didn’t matter if you got hurt, and you just let out a small confused what, unable to respond properly when Johnny’s plush lips are pressed into your cock

Kenshi hums, his stubble slightly scratching you as he kisses your neck, and he tells you to relax and let them take care of you for today, to just sit still and be pretty

you nod and then let out a little whine when Johnny takes you deeper into his throat, tongue pressing against the underside of your cock

it’s hot and wet, and you can’t help it as your hands fly down to grip onto Johnny’s hair and tug on it, sensitive from not having touched yourself for a month

Kenshi feels you move and his hands travel from your thighs up your side, making you shiver, and his rough hands grab onto your arms and take them away from Johnny’s hair

his voice is teasing as he asks you about what he just said a second ago, and you try to respond but then Johnny sinks even further, his nose burying themselves in the curls at the base

your brain is nothing more than mush as Johnny bobs his head up and down, the tip of your cock hitting the back of his throat, and there’s a strangled sound that comes out of your throat as his hand comes up to massage your balls

Kenshi licks and bites at the skin of your neck, leaving his marks on you, and you turn your head to him, lips parted in a silent question for him

he seems to know what you want, and he presses his lips to yours, humming at the taste of your mouth and pushing his tongue into yours

you can’t help but groan into his mouth as Johnny hums around your cock, sending vibrations through your body and fraying your nerves with pleasure

your hips rock forward slightly, and you want to cum so badly, need to cum

Johnny seems to know what you want, your cock twitching in his mouth, and he bobs his head up and down faster, using his hand to pump at what his mouth doesn’t cover

it’s too much, and your back arches of Kenshi’s stomach as you cum in Johnny’s warm mouth, whimpering and gasping against the swordsman’s mouth

Kenshi hums, hands rubbing your thighs, as Johnny pumps you through the rest of your orgasm and swallows your cum

you soften in his mouth and whimper when he finally pops off and licks his lips, saying that you taste just as good as he remembers

parting from your lip to let you breathe and head fall back onto his shoulder, he tells you you’re doing amazing, so good for them, so pretty for them

a soft thank you comes from your mouth, and Kenshi just chuckles and mumbles out an of course before he moves you slightly to scoot your body forward

Johnny stands up from his position, and you can see the way his cock slaps against his stomach, your mouth drools and you reach your hand forward

Kenshi tsks at you and uses his hand to splay over your chest and pull you back, saying perhaps another day

you whimper but listen and just sit in Kenshi’s lap and wait as you hear Johnny get lube out of your drawer and get back in front of you

Johnny squirts lube onto his fingers, rubbing them together to slightly warm it, before he reaches his fingers underneath you and traces his finger over your asshole

you try not to squirm and seem impatient, and Johnny rewards you for your patience, pressing in a thick finger and telling you good job

 you let out a pant and then a whimper of please for more, and Kenshi just smiles against your skin as he sucks another hickey into your skin

Johnny hums and presses another finger into you, pumping them in and out of you slowly and curling them right into your prostate with practiced fingers

it makes you squirm and gasp, and you can feel blood rushing down, filling your oversensitive cock back to hardness, although not quite as big as before

the swordsman chuckles at your whines, one of his hands trailing up and down your body, squeezing at the flesh before wrapping his hand around your half-hard cock

it makes pleasure shoot through your body, and a loud gasp leave your throat as your hips buck into him

Johnny just pushes his fingers in deeper as a response, adding a third finger to stretch you out further, and you let out a debauched moan, nerves being pulled in every direction

it’s overwhelming, and you’re already so close to the edge, legs twitching in overstimulation and hands gripping whenever you can

Kenshi seems to know and fists the base of your cock, preventing you from cumming and you make a sound that sounds like a choked sob and whimper

he tells you to have patience, and Johnny says that you won’t have to wait long as he retracts his fingers from your needy hole

you yelp as Kenshi suddenly hooks his hands underneath your thighs and stands up with you spread in his arms

Johnny brings an arm underneath one of your thighs to help support you, and your hands fly to Johnny’s shoulders in front of you for balance

Kenshi slightly lowers you, and you feel Johnny line himself up with you, lowering you even further to push into you

it makes you whine and gasp in pleasure as he finally bottoms out, and you dig your fingers into his shoulder as you struggle to adjust

your breathing calms down after a minute, and you squeeze around him, trying to keep your cool

but then you feel Kenshi prodding along your hole, the tip of his cock pressing in, and you whine that it’s too much, you can’t

Kenshi murmurs that you can, and he pushes in slow and steady, making you sob and gasp and tears well up in your eyes

fat tears roll down your face but Johnny kisses them away as Kenshi groans and bottoms out inside of you

neither of them move until you’ve stopped sobbing and have only been reduced to soft sniffles and whimper, and then Johnny finally moves his hips a little bit

you let out a whimper and moan, and they both take it as a good sign to start moving in tandem, knocking the breath out of you

the pleasure is all-consuming and mixes with the stinging pain, and you can’t help the wanton moans that leave your mouth as they fuck you on their cocks

they praise you as they bounce you up and down, calling you so pretty, that you’re so beautiful, that you’re doing so well, and that they love you so much

their mouth are relentless as they kiss and suck at your skin everywhere, mouthing over every scar that you have, and it’s all too much as you cum, pathetic spurts of cum spraying over Johnny’s chest

they groan at the feeling of you clenching down on him, and Kenshi cums first inside of you, hot ropes of his seed warming you, his voice deep and rough as he tells you that you’re taking them so well

Johnny quickly follows soon after and cums inside of you as well, panting into your neck and moaning your name loudly

neither of them move for a moment, their cocks still buried deep inside of you, but Johnny is the first one to move and slide out

Kenshi slides out after Johnny, and they move to lay your boneless body on the bed, praising you and telling you did so amazing

your ears are buzzing, mind still heavy with pleasure, and you just reach out for them, hand grabbing onto Kenshi’s

he hums and gets into bed with you, cuddling you close, and you whimper for Johnny as well

Johnny listens and gets into bed with you, telling you take a quick nap first then and then they’ll get you cleaned up

you just hum in contentment and drift off to sleep with the two of them holding you close and dearly

[scar-lie]

Their First Love [Natasha]

Summary : What happens when someone come back to get what's them.

Pairing : Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader, Natasha Romsnoff x Bucky Barnes

Warning : None, I guess

Word Count : 2,642

A/N : Hi everyone so sorry that I didn't post the chap 9 of Omega and the crossover oneshot, my school ends right before Christmas eve, then my Mom got admited to the hospital and well next is new year so it's kinda busy, sorry again but this oneshot is in my draft for over a month or week now so this is my sorry token for you all

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE 🥳🎉

{THEIR FIRST LOVE PT. 2}

No one has permission to repost my work anywhere, if you see it please let me know.

You sigh, getting off the elevator in the compound to visit Natasha. You two have been friends for over two years now. You two met in the coffee shop nearby your company building. She sat at your table with your permission because, at that time, the shop didn’t have any vacant seats left. Since then, you two have hit it off and become friends. After a year, you started to date, and you courted her until today.

But once you get off the elevator and pass the two doors that lead into a common room of the Avengers quarters, you frown at seeing everyone gather around and see Natasha clinging to a guy.

“What’s happening? "You question walking forward; everybody looks at you.

“Oh, Bucky, the winter soldier, Steve’s pal back in the days, and the Bucky I’ve been talking about—uhm, he's back and sided with us,” Natasha explains, giving you a hug and a kiss on your cheek.

“Hi, Y/N, nice to meet you.” You offer him a hand, but he just looks at it without emotion, so you take your hand back.

"Ok,” you mumble, and sit down on the couch and just look at them, especially Nat and Steve, who have pampered this new guy with questions and appreciation that he’s here now.

You just let them have fun and enjoy their time. You understand why, especially Steve and Nat. I mean, that’s Steve's pal or brother, and that’s Natasha’s first love, the love she found in the red room and KGB, where torture and killing grow, where she trains to be a black widow. But you’re not going to hide the fact that you’re jealous and scared that what you and Nat have will end soon.

You let it slide the first few weeks, where Natasha was constantly clinging to Bucky and having quality time, and set you aside, but when the 5th week struck, you confronted her, where she just got home from a 2-day mission with Bucky, Tony, and Sam.

She’s tired and exhausted. Their mission goes south, which comprises a lot of people's lives, and all she wanted to do was go home, get the dirt and blood off of her body, and hope the frustration and self-blame will go down the drain too with the rest of the dirt, and sleep the night off.

But that’s not what’s waiting for her; instead, you’re in her bed, sitting and looking at the wall in front of you. When Natasha enters her room, she sighs and comes to kiss your forehead, then goes off to go to the bathroom.

“Be honest with me, Natasha... Are we still dating, or will you and Bucky go back together? "You asked before she could close the door, not looking at her form, which was frozen in her spot.

Natasha frowns, slowly turning back at you with a confused look. She doesn’t know how to answer it, and she herself doesn’t know either. All she knows is that Bucky is here; she wants to spend time with him, but at the same time, she’s building a relationship with another person, which is you. She just sighs, trying to look into your eyes, but you keep your eyes straight.

“I-uhmm….I don’t know…I-” You didn’t let her finish her sentence; you already heard enough, so you stood up, took your bag on the sofa, and headed out to her front door. Natasha quickly followed you.

“Call me if you already have an answer,” you mumbled enough for her to hear, but Natasha never let you get out that easily.

"Hey, hey, hey! No, you’re not going to walk out on me; we’re going to talk this out like a mature adult.” She pulls you inside and closes the door of her room.

“Ok, I admit that I spend more time with Bucky and that I’m putting you aside, but that doesn’t mean that I will end things between us.” She started searching for your eyes to look back at her too.

“And there’s a "but" coming, right? "You look at her; you already know how this is going. Well, you should have known better.

“But I don’t know, I... I still yearn for him... I don’t know, ok, please understand,” she whispered, and you just nodded. You can’t do anything about it, though. I mean, you two don’t put a label on who you both are, so she’s still free to choose him over you.

"Ok.” That’s all you said, and you walked past her.

“That’s all you’re going to say? "You sigh again and turn around, giving her a small, tight smile.

"Yeah, what do you want me to say? Do you want me to be angry or what? I mean, we’re not together, Nat; we’re just dating. I’m your suitor, Nat, so I don’t have the right to be angry or tell you to distance yourself from your first love, so yeah, that’s all I have to say.” With that, you leave her room and go back to your house as soon as possible to sleep it off and get ready for your endless meeting tomorrow, but God has other plans because you met Bucky on the way.

“Hi…..Y/N right? "Bucky, stop you before you can leave the two doors in the lounge where he sat, with snacks in his hand and a coffee table, so you stop and turn around to look at him tiredly.

“Yeah, that’s me. Why? "You sigh when he stands up and stands in front of you, trying to intimidate you, but honestly, if you’re not tired and don’t give a fuck, you’re probably intimidating him too.

“I don’t appreciate you getting close to Natasha, so could you please distance yourself? "I scuff at him, standing straight, grasping my handbag in front of me with my two hands.

“Maybe I should be the one telling you that, because before you come along, we’re dating,” you calmly said, giving him a tight smile.

“Well, are you two together? "He challenges you, and you clench your jaw, looking up at him.

"No.” You didn’t back down, and he smirked, satisfied at your answer.

“I suggest you start moving on, because I’m courting her.” He gives you a sly look and pats your shoulder, then leaves.

You clench your jaw and give him a dirty finger, leaving the building with irritation and annoyance, and go straight home to wash away all the stress and tiredness in your body since this morning, when your day started to go south.

You didn’t bother to go to the compound for a week now because of a hectic workload, meetings here and there, and some dumbass who can’t do their jobs properly. Even though you missed Natasha and wanted her hugs and cuddles, you couldn’t visit her, so you just kept gifting Natasha food or flowers and texting her, but most of the time she ignored you, and you just rolled your eyes at that, thinking they were probably having their time together, so today you’re going to visit her.

But once you get to the compounds quarter, your mood quickly drops seeing Natasha leaning toward Bucky while watching some movies, but you put your jealousy and irritation aside and great her.

"Hey, Nat,” you say. She looks at you and quickly stands up and greets you with a hug and a kiss in the check that makes Bucky look at you dirty.

“Hi, how are you? You haven’t been here for a week now.” You give her a smile and show her the Chinese takeout you brought.

“Just busy in the office, that's all. Are you hungry? "You asked, taking her hand to drag her into the kitchen to eat.

"Sorry, but she’s full; we just got home to eat lunch.” He smirked at you, and you gave him a glare while he stood up and took Natasha off of you.

“So if you wouldn’t mind, we’re watching a movie," he says, then guides her back to the couch while Natasha just looks back at you, looking for your reassurance, but you keep neutral, which makes Natasha worried.

"Uhm, wait, Buck, actually, I’m-” Before she can get out of Bucky's grasp, you walk straight back to the kitchen, putting down the paper bag, and go back to leave the building.

“In case you..." you point to them with a tight smile.

“Get hungry or just give it to someone who wants it; I’ll be heading out now.” Then you leave with a sigh; you’re losing hope; well, he’s her first love; you can’t fight with that; that’s her greatest love; and now the only option you have is to accept it, because sooner or later, you’re expecting Natasha to talk to you and end things between you two.

And you’re not wrong, because the next time you visited, you saw them together in the gym, sparing, well, more intimately; they kissed passionately, savoring their time together, and that broke your heart completely into pieces.

And you don’t have the heart to ruin it for her, so you just give yourself a smile, nod, and turn back, going to her room to get some of your stuff you left there, and well, wait for her there to have a talk. You know she’s not going to say it to you right away, so you’ll confront her.

Once Natasha entered the room with a big smile on her face and a tint of red in her check, saying goodbye to Bucky, you didn’t look up at her; you just looked at her waist until you heard her gasp, shocked to see you sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Y/N," she mumbles, not moving a single inch in her spot until she clears her throat, having the courage to tell you something.

“Glad to see you here, cause I need to talk to you too,” she carefully said, reading your dementor, but she failed, so she just gulped the lump on her throat and just blurted out.

“I need to end things between us because I know it’s not fair to you if I keep this hidden, but... I'm getting back with Bucky.” Her heart beat faster. Looking at you, you scuffed and nodded. At least she had the courage to tell you.

Natasha quickly became tense and gasped when she saw a few bags already packed. You looked up at her with a neutral dementor, the one you always wore before you met Natasha, and this made Natasha feel uneasy.

"Well, I guess it is my cue to leave now, since you already dropped the elephant in the room.” You stand up, taking your bag, and walk past her.

“I’m sorry,” she shouts, running to you. She feels guilty and hurt, even wanting you to look back at the eyes that she’s been searching for.

“Don’t be; you don’t owe me an apology or explanation…..and so do I, when I'll make no exception to anyone, including you, and when you don't have the same privilege you had before.” This makes Natasha’s eyes go wide; she knows how you are around in your company; you’re cold, strict, and scary.

“Excuse me, Miss. Romanoff, I still have a company that needs someone to run with.” With that, you leave the building and sulk yourself to work, declining every call and knocking on the door, letting your assistant be the only one who can come and go in your office, and rescheduling all your meetings for a week.

If you will move on, Natasha is no exception. You need to distance yourself from her and treat her like everyone else around you, even though she’s still your friend.

This doesn’t settle Natasha very well; sure, she’s happy that she’s with her first love that the KGB ripped out of her, but the unsettling feeling deep in her bothers her.

Sure, she’s happy going on dates, cuddling, spending time together, and having sex with Bucky, but it still feels wrong to her. It feels wrong deep inside her, and she tries to set it aside, but the feeling keeps building and building up, like she’s going to explode one day.

"Hey, are you ok? "Bucky asked her with concern. He just got out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist, while Natahsa just lay down in the bed, lost in her thoughts, and only the covers were covering her naked body while the morning sun started to rise.

"Yeah, yeah, I’m ok, just thinking.” Natasha looked at Bucky with a smile, so Bucky quickly lay beside her and buried his face in her neck.

“You’re thinking about her, do you? "Bucky whispers, looking up at her while she scuffs and shakes her head.

“What are you talking about, and who’s “her” you’re referring to? "Natasha, just look at him for a few seconds and go look somewhere else.

“You know what I’m talking about; I can feel it, Nat. You want her; you’re looking for her even though you keep saying to yourself that you’re okay." Natasha didn’t answer right away, thinking carefully.

"No, you're wrong,” Natasha just said and stood up, taking the cover with her.

“I already have what I want,” she said, trying to convince Bucky, but the truth is, she’s trying to convince herself more than Bucky.

Bucky didn’t argue with her; he knows Natasha is a stubborn one. Sure, he doesn’t know her very well now; things change, and he doesn’t want to push it.

But Natasha thought of it all day, and Bucky observed her the whole time, accepting that sooner or later Natasha would need to talk to him.

That day, Natasha went out to walk, think, and clear her head, letting her feet take her wherever they took her. That said, now she’s standing in the cafe shop where she first saw you, your memories of her flash in her mind, missing how you smiled and how soft you were to her, how you looked intimidating the first time you two met.

Then Natasha went to your favorite flower shop, where she most likely saw you before you courted her, buying different flowers every 3 times a week or maybe 4, then she visited the fast food chain you always whined to go to because you loved their onion rings and twisted fries there, then she went to your favorite burger food chain until she went around the town buying things that you always whined about.

Until she’s standing in front of your company building, frozen in her spot while looking up to the high tower where you are probably in and on one of the floors at the top, this makes her heartache, and she misses going here ever so often to visit you and spend time with you.

She sighs and decides to go in. Reasons? to give you the stuff she bought from different stores around the town, and she hopes that you will let her in or meet her.

But once she got inside, the receptionist wouldn't let her in with the reason—Ms. Y/L/N is busy and doesn’t want any visitors—she closed her eyes, cursing to herself, knowing she couldn't just walk past security or make her way around to get to you. She knows you already hate her, and doing the dirty job to get to you will fuel you more.

Natasha started to walk back, but not until someone screamed your name. That’s when she turned around and saw you, looking beautifully in your sexy business suit that shows all your assets with three bodyguards, and let the woman in your right arm. This broke Natasha, especially seeing who the woman is—it's the woman you talked about to her, your first love.