#ok ill shut up now lol
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Have no clue if you’re still on The Prank discourse but one thing I find so interesting about it is how much it emotionally affects people compared to something like Regulus being a canonical blood supremacist or Barty torturing people or other more traditional bad guys. And I think a lot has to do with how it affects two characters that people often project themselves into (Remus and Snape) rather than just being a generic “oh ya he tried to murder someone we hear about for a line or two.” Like people don’t approach it from a literary or a character standpoint, they often seem to see it as something that wronged THEM. It’s so fascinating to me- the epitome of how one attempted murder is a tragedy but the attempted murder of many that I don’t happen to care about is an easily ignored statistic.
of COURSE i am happy to continue talking about The Prank u bring up a really interesting point!! i do think a lot of the things that become these big like...moral debates in this fandom have less to do with like. actual morality and more to do with like....constructing identity through social media. like god ok let me see if i can be concise abt this:
we're being increasingly conditioned to construct our identities around online presence and social signifiers like the media we consume; so for a lot of people the books they read or the shows they watch etc etc are not just something to enjoy but are a pillar around which they are constructing their perceptions of themself. and in order to reify that construction you basically have to put yourself in this constant feedback loop of posting these social signifiers so that other people can look at them and go "oh so this is your identity," because a performance can't be real without an audience.
SO. i feel like that's where we're getting people who will say "oh yeah i'm a [character] kin" and feel as though that is truly an important expression of their deepest personal selves. and then, once your identity is tied to those characters, any attack on those characters feels like an attack on you. you can't accept the fact that other people might interpret the characters differently, because to do so would mean to accept that this thing you've tied your identity to is somewhat meaningless/empty/fluid/unstable, which would force you to confront the fact that this identity you're performing is, in fact, a performance, and not a revealing of some true and inherent inner self.
in reality, all of the things that happen in harry potter do not hold any real-life moral weight. like...these actions aren't happening. we aren't talking about real people doing real things to each other, we're talking about characters. so to use an example from ur message, barty killing his dad is no better or worse than The Prank, because neither of those things actually happened. and THAT means that everybody can take those fictional actions and interpret them in different ways and say they think one is better or worse within this fictional context, but there is no single true and correct interpretation, because none of this is real.
so, yeah. i think ur 100% right that when we do get these really contentious debates about the morality of certain characters, it's because people aren't approaching the topic through the lens of literary critique but rather through the lens of this Personal Moral Performance. like, if you kin sirius, and someone says sirius was bad for doing The Prank, then you HAVE to defend sirius and insist that that person is wrong, because u need to perform ur own moral correctness to the audience. like, sirius can't be a morally bad character, because i kin sirius, and i am morally good.
and yeah, that definitely leads to some cognitive dissonance! people are going to be quick to defend the characters they've attached themselves to while decrying the bad actions of the characters they don't like/don't care about--again, oftentimes to perform Morality on the internet more than in service of any actual literary critique. and like. if ur stuck in this mindset of feeling like you need to be constantly proving to the world how morally good you are, then anyone pointing out the fact that you defend one character but shit on another who did similar things is gonna feel like a personal attack, and that just makes the whole situation worse because then you feel like you need to dig your heels in and insist that your interpretations are right and their interpretations are wrong, and nobody feels like they can give ground without becoming Problematic for defending/shitting on whatever character they're fighting about.
#want to note that none of this post is a moral judgment in people who are like#stuck in the Social Media Morality Performance Loop#in general i think most people who approach media with that mindset simply have not had the opportunity to like#break free from it#and have been very insidiouly conditioned to think that way by things like social media#so!!#yeah this is not me trying to point fingers or make an us vs them situation i think that would be counterproductive to what im saying here#but i do encourage everyone to try and be aware of the ways in which they are attaching their identities to media#it's unavoidable to a certain extent but that doesn't mean we should be losing the ability#to approach beloved stories from the perspective of literary critique#rather than moral performance#you do not need to be constantly performing your morality to the world#nobody is perfectly morally pure we are all human it's much better to foster communities in which we are able to fuck up and learn and grow#at least in my opinion!!#ok ill shut up now lol#ranting and raving#ask
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BRO LITERALLY DOXXED HIMSELF TO THE CYCLOPS. he was asking to get jumped come on
#ATHENA WAS LITTERALLY BEGGING FOR BRO TO SHUT UP AND HE WAS JUST LIKE:#“HEY CYCLOPS IM THE REIGNING KING OF ITHACA AND MY NAMES ODYSSEUS BET YOU CANT FIND ME”#my art#epic the musical#epic the cyclops saga#odysseus#odysseus of ithaca#odysseus epic#athena#athena epic#eurylochus epic#out off topic but people that sent doodle request on ask im not ignoring y'all ok#it's just that my grandpa fell down on the kitchen and hit his head so now ive been a bit busy taking care of him#he's good btw nothing happened to him it was just a cut#but the gdi head always bleeds so much it was so scary#plus i felt another artblock starting so I had to doodle something silly and funny to kinda motivate myself lol#AND PLUS i started trying animating and turns out I KINDA HATE-LOVE IT#it's SO MUCH WORK TAKES SO MUCH TIME IT CAN BE SO BORING AT TIMES#but also once you kinda check how its looking overall it feels so good and fun??#anyways ill probably get to those asks around the weekend when ill have some free time :)
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thinking right now and the switch pokemon games really gave me great pokemon ship dynamics
hop/gloria - childhood friends but best friend snatches the other's dreams and bff cant bring to blame her coz hes his bestie and he has his own issues and weakness to blame
bede/gloria - bratty rival gets beaten and has his life hit him in the face by protag is always a win for me
raihan/gloria - ill always love the 'i see you as a lil sister i never had :) *proceeds to accidentally falls for the said rhetorical sister figure* type lol its cute. kousuke toriumis characters are just like that
leon/sonia - childhood friends too!!! but this time theyre the reverse of hpyu
trace/elaine - childhood friends but the less angstier version compared to gurileaf/gurired
arven/juliana - arven being CANONICALLY jealous n clingy at everyone who is close to juliana is just top tier for me. that is a big big puppy dog craving for love and attention
kieran/juliana - i would like to thank pokemon for giving me a whiplash of a character LMAOOOO a rival who becomes bastardized by protags actions??????? kieran heavily implying that he likes juliana too before juliana accidenatlly ruins his life????? oh im EATING
volo/akari - enemies to lovers but this time it breached containment and actually reached fame because the amount of fanarts/fanfics ive seen of this otp is fascinating. in a span of a year pixiv managed to have 100+ arts of them. maybe even more. i mean what do you expect? yandere? angst? drama? pining??? hosoyan and hondo kaede??? in MY pokemon game?
#did i ever mention i love listening to akaris voice in pokemas#coz its soooo good#so pretty!!!!#shame they didnt keep the same seiyuu to make it ambiguous#but i appreciate it nevertheless#meanwhile volo being voiced by hosoyan. lol ill never shut up#honestly all these characters now exists in pokemon masters#arvens coming tomorrw!!! and voiced by THE furukawa makoto??? DAMN#ok wait aois not in too fjsbfjkd#if shes voiced by yuki aoi that would be the funniest thing#actually dena u should do that#fafar yaps#about pokemon#also when kieran comes to masters. u will see
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#they speak!#it's probably just the illness that's making me extra irritable but like.#roommate kept coming up to me this morning going oh did i wake you up? i'm sorry if i did. did i do that or no? i'm really sorry.#and i kept telling him to stop saying sorry because i didn't have the brain power to phrase#'you could've been more considerate of your volume but you also have the right to use the common space so it's whatever'#but he said it to me again before i went to my room just now and it's like. ok. shut up.#if you actually cared that much u would've just been quieter in the first place actually.#anyways. annoyed. there were some annoying customers in the store today but it was whatever.#i feel like my fucks to give had already worn out with all the ppl in my social circle/my parents and the recent ongoings of that#[redacted] was being passive aggressive to me in the group chat and it's like. ok! idk what u want from me.#and i'm grateful for them for coming over and helping me with cleaning last week#and it's those sorts of actions that let me know they care and want good things for me#but like. i haaaate telling them anything because even innocuous non-private things get turned into judgement with them.#also. more and more i can feel how i'm drifting away from h and now with retrospect i can see how we mutually hurt each other :)#i keep coming back to this one period where i really wanted to take them to try dimsum and they kept saying they were too scared to try it#and in their new friend group they regularly go out n get dimsum together. which on the surface is like. why didn't you want to go with /me#i told you i wanted to share what i liked and i would explain what things were and i could do the talking and you still said no#but it's also very much a reflection of how i always rolled over and enabled them. i never challenged them. i was always passive.#i also feel like i'm heavily neglecting e and a recently and i can tell how the physical distance is affecting us and idk. it's weird.#anyways. another post that should've been a journal entry! lol!#when [redacted] helped with cleaning they also buried my journal under my like#300 packets of sesame candies and i can't be bothered to dig it out. also my bandaids are missing now. <3#ik this also sounds passive aggressive but genuinely appreciate the help i just kinda hate how they think hidin everything in boxes is good#'we need to get you some more storage boxes and containers!!' actually i think that will be the opposite of helpful.#i need everything visible and on open surfaces so i can 1) remember they exist for me to use and 2) not have barriers for me to get to them
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My fuckung godddd bubbles just threw up twice and the only undigested thing in it was the deli ham dad keeps feeding her and he still refuses to start giving her actual cat food... ugh I have to finish the essay but once I do I'm gonna go cry at him so he takes me seriously
#like once i said 'stop feeding her that its too fucking salty and she doesnt know its bad for her'#and he went 'lmao youre eating something salty right now tho! and here ill tell the cat its bad for her lol'#no motherfucker shut the fuck up and listen to a woman for once in your life!!#hell listen 2 me if im crying but thatll give me a headache and i dont want a headache for finishing my essay#ok ill google some Cat Nutrition Facts to pull out later and then finish the essay and then cry at him#emetophobia
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Rinz's identity disc is too big for he gotdamn hand!!!😢😢😢
#tron#rinzler#oK I CAVED#i bought a bit of tron merch today & needed my own identity disc#[& the rinz chip OBVI]#sometimes you really have to let the fangirl inside you out ok????#nok talks#ill stop posting about my tron-eriffic day now sorry ill shut up!!!! Dx#my lil ploosh guy is such a little disaster#but as my first crafting plush project ever#im not at all mad#REMINDER TO SELF#imperfection & messing up is ok!!!!#gotta go give this dude a hug#lol what a time to be a ridic rinz fan even all this time later♡
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he’s ok guys (frm here <3)
#the Korean is supposed to mean ‘shut up’ 🤭. although it’s googled so if it’s not accurate I’m sorry orz#it’s so hard to make him look scary because I’ve done everything in my power to make him cute LOL#this is what would happen if auggie died. i love mental illness </3#second image is him frustrated bc he can’t copy auggies white hair marking bc his head is made of shadows 🫠#hence the bottles of white hair dye. he’s mad because he can’t copy it completely and scared he’ll forget that detail and then everything#else <- bows lore TEEHEE#if she died of natural causes I feel like it wouldn’t be as bad? like it would be slow and painful but definitely not sudden#I’m a softie so I don’t think I’d let her leave his side through some sort of impossible means 🙃 but its fun to imagine. sorry Anton#vincent would probably distance himself and mourn quietly. OK THATS THE LAST ONE ILL SEE MYSELF OUT NOW#my art#myart#doodles#friend oc#oc#Anton#implied death#tw implied death#tw death mention#death mention#death mention //#death /#tw death
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backing vocalist wes borland (and a bit of sam rivers) my beloved
#limp bizkit#wes borland#sam rivers#fred durst#video#mine#in conclusion: i love when wes screams and im not ashamed to admit it#i know there are more instances of him doing backing vocals and i added the obvious ones but these are with a better sound quality so w/e#maybe ill do a part two if im not too lazy lol#btw i HAD TO include the pollution one bc look at sam lol#hes adorable#and i included two similar clips of counterfeit bc dayuuum#love that part#ok im shutting up now
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time a flat circle why the hell am i usin the same loafers i bought for one cosplay of my fave antagonist for another fave antagonist
#snap chats#can i even call it cosplay. why are police sirens going off in the bg oh my god shut UP#anyway yeah ill elaborate. Super Snap Stalkers will remember my p4 era and will remember the time i did in fact do an adachi cosplay#i deleted the og post like an hour later. plus that blog's gone. but im sure some freak can find it if they dig hard enough#ew i think i was 17/18 in that pic (not at all that long ago) ok anyway.#i use the same loafers for my aoki outfit. and yeah i do Regularly wear my rgg outfits i TOLD YOU its functional cosplay i QUIT#just funny that like.... damn everything always goes back to square one LOL#these busted ass old ass loafers still rockin with me years later#if im feeling cheeky i think i will post all my rgg outfits actually. for halloween#hang on gotta be depressed and cringe for a moment#cause ive always liked cosplay but whenever i did it it never felt. Good Looking#like i always just felt like my face never worked for the charas i wanted to portray and so thats why i say with a heavy heart#that aoki's round-ass square-ass head is perfect LOL it makes me wanna throw up looking in the mirror#i got the same weird lips. ok not that squished Similar but Its Awful that he makes me feel comfortable with my face now#at least my eyebags arent double deckered... i at least look like i get sleep.. some days.#breaking !!!! objectively one of the most vile bitches in this franchise makes you feel comfortable with your body and existence#NAW to continue from last post if i had a webcam i prob coulda done a cosplay y7 stream LOL thatd be funny#anyway since this tag ramble is just pure cringe let me round it off with a final bit of cringe#the Forbidden Mention of my trans masato hc cause one reason why i have a Teehee over the thought is how raspy his voice is#and i only really now realized how right i was tonight because my prof called on me to speak and when i tried speaking DAWG.#the forbidden acknowledgement of Myself GROSS#BUT DAWG MY THROAT WAS FUCKIN CRUSTY it felt like sandpaper EW?? WATER FOR YOU?? christ. i hope that was just a one-time thing#ok im leaving now BYE
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i DID put all my character playlists on spotify recently so i could get real autistic about those today if i want hmmmmmmm
#did it for a friend and GOT SO MAD#bc the 13 min extended version of a song i had on yellows playlist straight up doesnt exist on spotify and its fucked up#i also wanted to do custom lil icons for their playlists but aaah.. theyre very short#theyre all like 20 mins or under lol.#so maybe not worth it#BUT LIKE. ive talked about this i get insane about character playlists. last ones i did were years in the making#like i need every line and every lyric to fit or ill lose it and it has to be in a specific order or ill start screaming#IM. listen. listen the url is no joke.#if i dont have these playlists meticulously in a specific order i will start screaming crying ect#because theres like. the theme of the overall playlist but also the themes interweaving between two different songs and how they reflect on#ok i shall. stop that now.#tumblr tags were like girl shut up#my dhmis postings
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i wish financial abuse and forced dependence weren't like. only seen as bad when a spouse does it??? lol.
#“just be more independent” trust me bro im trying#i raised by a mother who is still forcing me to be dependent on her#like.. dependence is a learned trait? and im trying to teach myself but its kidna hard when she combats it at every turn while yelling at me#abt how useless and codependent i am#it seems like whenever i talk about my situation people brush me off and say i have it good just becuz. she stopped hitting me young.#as if years of neglect to my well being and forced dependence and financial control havent fucked me up a bit lol??#like. no. i dont think my situation is normal or ok or healthy or good or pleasant. actually i hate it.#i dont know how tobdo fucking anything and when i try to ask for help learning people get mad at me for not fucking knowing and being scared#to try. as if i havent been kicked down by my mom every time ive tried to do things on my own.#idk ill shut up abt this now its just rlly upsetting that ppl like. dismiss what im going thru????
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play online with your friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#this was made because of tf2#i wanna play but unfortunately i think people will want me FUCKING DEAD KILLED AND MURDERED irl if im bad at the game ive never played befo#ofc not gonna happen but what if a person on the internet thinks that for half a second then forgets??? ill be ruined!! tarnished forever!!#apparently#according 2 my brain#fun fact i found out abt tf2 via sfm and looked it up#(i was tiny itty bitty btw this is important information)#and i heard stuff about it being shut down FOREVER!!!!!!! and unplayable and stuff.. & just believed it and went OK!!! tf2 doesnt exist#& then i prompty forgot#until recently but it looks soooo fun#but also i have an anxiety disorder that kept me from leaving my house and home 99% of the time for 2 yrs#and now im TEARING EVRYTHING UP#LET ME IIIINNNNN LET ME IN TF2#also applies to lethal league but to a lesser extent#sorry for rambling#funny how i use ta spend 100% of my time on animal jam (an online game) and now if i even THINK about an online game im like#“yeah but imagine if the entire userbase wanted you dead lol” like OKAY BRAAINNN#nothing happened on aj to make me feel this way btw i look back on aj very fondly#i do still think that da stamp from user thisdastampdoesnotexist still applies#that one where its like#animal jam logo on a black background with white text reading “i will ruin your life and everything in it”#i love that thang sm#<3 animal jam sucked lowkey but i still love it to death#and im talking about CLASSIC not fucking PLAY WILD which i will never not call play wild because its play wild#you will never be animal jam classic animal jam play wild#my relationship with animal jam is like that screenshot of a set of text messages that read as follows:#Imy 😢😢😢#i miss you too 🥺#i was so drunk i dont miss you bitch#<- me and animal jam
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me smiling serenely: i love house of leaves but i understand that its an incredibly difficult book to get into and is really, REALLY not for everyone, and johnny truant's... everything can make like half the book difficult to get through if you don't IMMEDIATELY click with his character
some complete stranger minding their business: house of leaves kinda sucks and johnny truant ruined the book. just skip his parts
me, crying screaming throwing up etc.: SHUT UP...... SHUT UP.............. LEAVE ME OLONE
#forgive me for not making the houses blue im on mobile. also to my other followers ill probly reblog stuff soon im just Thinking lol#at any moment i could start making annoying amounts of textposts about#house of leaves#if i so desired. this isnt anything new as far as my interests go tho lol#anyway the average critique i see of HoL on here is very reasonable (misogyny; shock content; a little full of itself)#but also ppl being like This Book Sucks. directly in the tag makes me a little insane#and also GENUINELY if you skip johnny's stuff you HAVENT read house of leaves youve only read the navidson record#the fuckeng... THEMES AND NARRATIVES ok.......#like yea im biased as an enjoyer of guys who suck spiralling forever and ever but like its more than tbat you know.#i cuold make a whole post abt trauma and the search for deeper meaning when theres only emptiness and how important johnny is to that theme#maybe i will make a post about that i dont know.#but anyway. sometimes a book isnt good or bad its an experience ok?#anyway these tags are getting too long i should shut up now. rip johnny you wouldve loved tumblr tags
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never in my life did i think i need to makeout with a piece of software so badly but here we are i guess
#lizzy speaks#OK IM BEING OVERDRAMATIC AND I WOULD ELABORATE BUT I NEED TO SLEEP BUT#DO YOU EVER JUST#FUCK !!!!!!#IVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO COME ACROSS A PIEC EOF SOFTWARE#i need to fiddle around with it some more but everything ive seen about it is MIND BLOWING to me#ive been waiting my entire life for this moment i think#i feel like it's funnier if i don't say what the software is. i wanna be mysterious so bad but i cannot shut the fuck up#literally been suffering through notetaking and organization softwares and im like ohh i think i finally found the one#this is the minecraft of sex i think its like wowza i can finally do all those writing projects i want to do#boys (me) don't want girls they want an organized database of notes that they can easily reference at anytime#sorry for being unhinged but like its like past midnight lol im sure i'll wake up in the morning and be like 'what the FUCK were you doing'#BUT!!! i think ill come back to this post to reblog it with like actual shit about the software when i figure out how i want to use it#i think everyone should experience joys in life. and sometimes that joy is having organized notes#bonus points if anyone can figure out what im talking about just from the tags alone i think this software will change my life#it has fucking tag functionality i literally love tags#sorry about the vocabulary but this rivals like. my love of spreadsheets. which are like. a wonderful thing i think but ANYWAY IM RAMBLING#anyways goodnight i wish you all on the dash a very lovely evening i just needed to share this because im so overjoyed right now o7#if you have a software that you really like thats changed you feel free to tell me in the tags or something :) i like learning new things
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So uh. I think I’m gonna take a break from my murder blog for some time even though I haven’t really been reblogging stuff on here for a while 😔💦
I will probably be posting more on my new blog tho, @dazed-and-defeated. I’ve been wanting to make a new casual blog for some time now to just post other random stuff aside from murder content, and I finally got around to making one so 👀💦
If you wanna see more casual art there, especially as I prepare for art fight, that’s where you’ll find me
#shut up 🐁#i know ive been bad at like posting on this blog but i wanted to give a reason this time instead of like awkwardly disappearing 👀💦 psdjfps#i actually have like so much art ive been doing but felt like i couldnt post it on this blog so now ill have a place to put them >:)#ill still post here again eventually. hell it might even be like a couple days then ill be back lol. it depends how often ill be on tumblr#ok bro ngl i wanted my new blog to have a rain motif so badly but every version of 'rainy daze' that i could think of was already taken 😩#so we're going with dazed-and-defeated spfsdpj
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Ugh. The urge to ask ppl for art requests vs the pile of ideas that I plan to draw at some point. There r so many things to draw 😭
#and so little time. ive gotta work on writing stuff in this next week#but i should have at least some time to draw. assuming i manage my time right#draw and make like at least 3 liters of media so i can sit there and transfer a million tubes#i wanna draw something big and in full color but idk what :-[#whatever. ill figure it out. in other words ive got approval to stay on lamicta1 and i think the itching is going down#yayyyy! at like 3am suddenly it was like ok. i can lay on my back now and i don't wanna tear my skin off lol#and now im like ok. i can wear a shirt and its ok#unrelated#reguardless. my inbox is always open to requests#srry. ive not been sleeping bc of im itchy. so i cant shut up
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