#ok i’ve made my posts to keep y’all fed

[splattergutz]

this one goes out to princeton tapes vinny <3

[nemowasfound]

Hello, I saw you doing an event from someone I follow rebloged the post you made, and I would like to request. I saw you do demon slayer and would like to request uzui tegen x male reader fluff head cannon if you could? If you need me to be more specific just ask me I could send it in more detail. Sorry if this is long, ignore it if it makes no sense it's my second time using the ask thingy.

YES OK

Man

I’ve been waiting for hc

Anyways

Uzui would obviously be a rlly sexual partner

But when he’s soft he’s S O F T

Like

A big ass teddy bear

Sweetest man on earth

He loves to just hold you tight and lay you on his chest

Man his chest

Great pillow

Or he spoons you

He prefers to be big spoon because he likes making you feel safe

When y’all are out (dates or errands, doesn’t matter)

Always keeps at least one hand on your hip or thigh or waist or holding your hand

He’s pretty romantic during dates

I mean he did pull three stunning women and one stunning man

Flower petals, candles, a bouquet of your favorite flowers etc.

If you were to get sick he’d stay home as much as possible

His wives helping to take care of you

Be prepared to be spoon fed by three beautiful women and one handsome man

They will not leave you alone (lol)

You always get to lay on his chest when you go to bed

Listening to his heartbeat

He knows it’s soothing to you

Like a reminder he’ll always be there

He’s not going anywhere

Hope I did alright

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

A NEW EXPERIENCE

Prompt: You and Roman have been together for 7 years now,and on the night of your 5th year wedding anniversary,you have a new way to demonstrate your love for him

Word count: Uh girl,grab a snack ‘cuz this one is long!

Pairing: Roman Reigns x Reader

Warnings: +18 smut,cursing,slight self-degradation,fluff(at the end),a lot of intimacy and Tantric Massage(yes,you’ve heard it right 😉)

A little disclaimer,before we continue: Tantra is a middle eastern (more precisely Indian) philosophy and spiritual path,the tantric massage itself is a wonderful experience that DOES NOT involves any sort of sexual interaction such as penetration or masturbation!Yes it does involve yoni/lingam massage(vagina/penis massage) but the whole goal of it it’s not orgasm/ejaculation.It can happen of course,’cuz we’re humans but if it can it has to be delayed/controlled since that’s not a goal to be reached,it’s a full body experience and a deeper self connection and healing journey.So if someday you reach out a PROFESSIONAL for this especific massage,keep all this things in mind,please.The only reason I’ve included sex on this it’s because the characters in this story are married and got carried away(also because,it’s Roman I mean,who wouldn’t?). Also they don’t live the Tantra as a philosophy or spiritual path at all! It’s just a new way of working they intimacy together as a couple.It is NOT my intention to degrade ANY form of philosophy/spiritual path from anyone’s beliefs,this is for entertainment purposes only,and also a new way for me to write about new/different themes(or personal study topics of mine) for my stories. I have a deep love for middle eastern cultures and an even deeper love for studying different types of philosophy/spiritual paths.

Tag: My soul sister @ziasaph

Notes: Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) and if you’re comfortable with it,please let me know what you think? Some feedback is always welcomed and appreciated ❤️You can check out my other stories typing ‘masochist writes’ on the search bar on my page and my newest story as a fixed post.

Okay,now let’s get to the fun part,shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

Today’s my 5th year wedding anniversary with my lovely husband,Roman.We’ve been together for 7 years now.The first time I met him,I gotta say, I hated him! There was something about him that screamed trouble.He was too good to be true,I mean,he was incredibly handsome,polite,thoughtful,kind,loving,funny,intelligent,respectful(a true gentleman really),the best kiss I’ve ever had and don’t even get me started on this man’s bedroom skills...No man ever fucked me like that,no man ever cared much more about my pleasure than with he’s own,no man could make me feel like a goddess the way he could..you see what I mean?He couldn’t be an honest good man right?!And I knew better!Oh I really did..I’ve always had a “rotten finger” when it came to my men choices.If you putted me in a room with two guys,a truly good man and a shitty asshole,I would’ve had 100% chose the latter.Maybe for the “fun” of it or even just to prove my Freudian fate,who knows?

But when I decided to finally give in to the Samoan’s charm and accepted to finally officially date him,I discovered why he smelled like trouble,because as soon as I found out I was in love with him I knew I had lost my whole heart to that man!And if you came from a emocional troubled background,like I did,you know that that’s the worst case scenario one could ever have.But funny enough,despite my deepest fears,he changed my whole world,he dragged me out of the shit pit I’ve always lived in and pushed me into the light beside him,making me forget everything bad that ever happened to me,transforming my reality into the fairytale I could never had imagined.If you told me,7 years ago,that right now I would be here telling you this same story,I would have have bitterly laughed at your face and asked you to give me a hit of whatever it is that you had.

But here I am,finishing to set up one of our guests room for the surprise I had in mind for my husband.I’m sure that this will never repay him for the way he always made me feel,but at least I hope he can have a bit of a glimpse of how much I truly love and care for him.

I was lighting up the last pair of candles when I heard the front door open,his deep sigh and the loud thump of his bags dropping on the living room floor.

“Y/N,baby girl? You home?” That voice alone could bring the biggest,truthful smile upon my lips.I put the lighter on my jacket’s pocket,carefully closing the guest room door and I ran downstairs to meet my redemption in form of a man.

“Roman!” I squealed while I preceded to jump on his arms and wrap my legs around his waist,kissing him like I would never see him again.

“Wow!” He chuckled “I see someone missed me those 3 weeks,huh?!” Still laughing,he wrapped his big arms around my waist and retributed my kiss vigorously.

“Of course I missed you baby!You’re my Samoan Prince Charming,how could I not miss that?!”I laughed.

“Prince Charming,huh?!”He chuckled “You wait ‘til you see what I wanna do to you...I’m pretty sure you’re gonna change your mind from prince charming to tramp real quick!”He smirks and I can already feel my panties getting damp with excitement.

“Oh really,big guy?! Well I’m sorry,but I’m about to piss in your yard and ruin your dreams!’Cuz I already have a surprise for you,and that took a lot of prep time too,so as much as I would love to see what you have in mind that will have to wait,at least ‘til later.”

“Piss in my yard?!Oh baby girl,always so delicate with your words!”He laughed

“What? I’m expressive,you know that!Also if anyone here is the well mannered,polite and posh one that’s you,I’m just you know,rough street trash”.I bitterly said

“Hey!Don’t say that,please.You know that I don’t like when you degradate yourself like that.You’re not trash,you’re my everything!And let’s be honest here baby, I love your rough side..”He squeezed my ass,to prove his point.

“If you keep doing that, I’m gonna get all worked up,and you’re going to ruin my surprise...” I whispered

“Ok,ok.I stopped!”He chuckled,then gave me a light peck on the lips before lowering me down to the ground.”So what do you have planned?”

“You know it’s called surprise for a reason right?!”I said.

“Oh c’mon Y/N! Not even a little preview baby?” He gave me those beautiful puppy eyes,and the bastard knew that I would give in.

“Argh,you’re the worst!”I faked an annoyed face,but he knew I was pretending so he just smiled and I couldn’t help but smile back.”Ok the only,ONLY thing I will tell you is that it involves a large amount of intimacy..I’ve never done that to anyone before..and it’s an incredible experience.That’s all I’m saying!”I proudly huffed.He stared at my face for an eternity before he slowly smirked at me saying “You do realize that you said you were going to tell me just ONE thing about it,but you ended up telling me THREE instead,right?!” He started laughing when I poked his broad chest saying “Shut up! You know,you’re lucky I love you,because otherwise I would just kick your ass right now.”I tried to hold back my laugh,but that soon was forgotten when he kissed my lips so slowly and sweet and said “I don’t have a doubt you could kiss my ass at anytime baby.” He lazily smiled at me,before his expression turned more serious. “I love you Y/N so fucking much!” He caresses my face before continuing “I’m so happy I could take a few days off to be with you,to celebrate the 7 years we’ve been together..and the many more years yet to come” He pecked my lips lightly “I could never have asked for a better woman,wife,best friend,lover,supporter..my own personal safe harbor.” He shyly smiled at me and pressed our foreheads together,and I couldn’t help the tears escaping through my eyes.

“Oh baby girl, I didn’t meant to make you cry!” He said

“Those are happy tears I promise!” I sighed “Besides,I feel bad that I can’t say such beautiful things to you,I’m sorry baby,that you got the product made with a broken mold” I sadly sighed.

“Hey,I already told you to stop saying those bad things about yourself! Also you don’t have to apologize,I know everything you went through and it’s normal for someone in your position to be a little careful when showing your fellings,and trust me babe, I don’t need your words to know that you love me,your actions already do the job!” The smile he gave me was so sincere that reached his eyes.And I really hope that my actions tonight will prove his statement to be right.

“So,when do you plan on giving me my surprise?” He asked with a sparkle in his eyes.And I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Well the first thing I need to know is if you’re already fed?”

“Yep! I stopped by a cafe on my way home and ate something light,like you asked me to”. He responded

“Good!Now I’m gonna need you to take a shower so you can wash away the tiredness of your flight,towel yourself dry,but don’t put any clothes on I’m gonna need you naked for this.” He maliciously smirked at me.

“You need me naked,huh?” He licked his lips “Ok,sounds like a great surprise so far..”

“Yes it is! And if I were you, I would hurry up..”

With that he ran off to the bathroom like a little boy,and a few seconds later I could hear the water running.

As soon as I finished stripping the last piece of clothing off my body,I heard the bathroom door open and Roman call for me.

“I’m in the guest room.The one near the stairs.” A few seconds later, I see him entering the room.

“Wow,this looks beautiful!” Since we never used that room as a guest room,it didn’t had a bed(which helped a lot) I just cleaned the hardwood floor,placed a big extra thick(about 40mm) yoga exercise mat in the center of the room,a lot of candles(some were sandalwood scented,but not many,so it doesn’t get too nauseating.Just enough to give that relaxing feeling),some rose petals around the floor, a few cozy cushions around the yoga mat and a little low table with one massage candle and a large thermical water bottle(to keep the water cold and fresh).It wasn’t much but it did look cozy and spa like.

“Did you like it?”

“If I like it?Baby girl it’s perfect!”Then he looked at my naked body and added “Perfect indeed” as he slowly lowered down to catch my lips in the most romantic kiss. When I broke the kiss(‘cuz if it was for him,we would stay there for hours) I begin to explain to him what my surprise was.

“I was thinking what I could give you for our 5th year anniversary that wasn’t bought from a store,but had more of a deep sentimental value” He slowly nodded

“I was talking to Sarah and she told me that Lisa,her new girlfriend is a Tantric massage therapist and had given her a tantric massage one day,she said it was the best experience she’s ever had.So I got curious and decided to make an appointment with her and babe” I sighed “I’ve never had in my life,such an amazing experience! The feeling is...I can’t describe,you have to feel it to understand it. My point is,Lisa told me that tantric massage can be used by couples as a form of bonding,like a deeper connection. It can be used to strengthen they’re intimacy.” When I saw the confused look on his face I said

“What I’m trying to say is that I love you so much” He smiles “I love you too baby girl” I smiled back,continuing my explanation “And I know that you’re the best man I could’ve ever had asked for myself!Even too good for me,but my point is that,it makes me upset that I don’t tell you as often as I would like to how much you mean to me,so I asked Lisa for some advice on how to perform a tantric massage on you and thought that,maybe it would be a nice way to show you how I truly feel,through this” I pointed out to the set up in front of us,smiling shyly.

“I-I..baby girl, I don’t even know what to say...This is all so beautiful, I mean, you didn’t need to make all this to show me that you care or love me babe,I know that regardless” he touched my face softly and quickly added “But that doesn’t mean I’m not curious about your surprise..In fact I’m quite excited to see what this is all about” He has a evil sparkle on his eyes and we both couldn’t help but laugh.

“Ok big dog,I gonna need you to lay down on your stomach for me,okay?”

He smiled and did as I asked.

I kneeled down on one of the cushions beside the yoga mat and said

“Alright baby,now,I need you to close your eyes,relax and just focus on my touch upon your skin ok?” When he nodded I grabbed the massage candle and started by dripping some of the wax into his ankles and calves,lightly spreading the melted wax up,until it reaches his back thighs.

I remembered that Lisa told me that this should not be a relaxing massage,in the sense of quizzing in the muscles to bring relief,but it was more focused on the touch it self,so I had to keep a very lightweight touch and make sure that only my finger tips(and occasionally my finger nails if I wanted to) touched his skin lightly.

When I reached his back thighs I notice Roman shifting his weight ever so slightly.

*Oh thank God,I’m doing this right!* I thought to myself relieved.

I dripped more wax,now,onto his perfect round ass and lower back.As I begin working out the wax and spreading it I heard a deep,low,almost inaudible,growl leave his lips and I couldn’t help but smile to myself.I let my finger nails just lightly roam his ass,lower back and side hips.I was so lost in the action that I was caught by surprise when a loud moan left Roman’s lips.

“Y/N..”

I grabbed the candle again and repeated the same process but now on his middle and upper back,shoulders,in the back of his arms and forearms,the palm of his hands,his fingers,neck and ears.

When I reached his head,I lightly dive my finger tips through his hair so I could reach his scalp and begin lightly massaging it,as if I was washing his hair,when I very lightly scratched his scalp I heard a very familiar sound

“Mmmmm fuck,oh shit...Mmmmm”

*Hold on..did he just? Oh I know THAT sound,I think he came!* I thought to myself

I lightly tapped his shoulder twice(a sign for him to turn onto his back) and when he did I could see that I was right,as there were evidences of his cum not only on his stomach but also on the yoga mat,and his deliciously thick erection resting on his belly.

I placed a cushion under his hips and one under the back of his head before I repeated the same previous actions.Starting from the soles of his feet,working my way up his shin,knees,thighs,lower abdomen,hips,abdomen,ribs,chest,nipples,side of the neck,face,front shoulders,biceps,forearm and the front of his hands.

Once I got up and placed myself on the mat,between his legs, I looked at him and I could swear that in 7 years,I’ve never seen that man with such a wild,primal,raw,luscious look on his face.

“Ro?”

“Hm?” I’ve never heard his voice so rough before

“We’re going to the last step now,ok?”

“Mhmm” was all he answered with his gaze glued to my face

I dripped some wax onto my hands and rub them together to spread it.

I took his length into my left hand,lightly squeezed the base of his cock and started to pull my hand up towards the head until my hand slides off,just so I could grabbed it with my right hand and repeat the same steps.

“Oh my fucking God” He rolled his eyes to the back of his head “ Sweet fucking Christ,Oohhh fuuuck” He moaned with a raspy voice.

I took the opportunity to massage the head of his cock in a orange juicer motion.

“Argh” He deeply growled,snapped his eyes open and look at me with a deadly look on his face “Fuck me Y/N! I need you to fuck me right now! Come here and ride me nice and hard baby”

“But Roman,I’m not done ye-“

“I don’t give a fuck!” He gritted “I need you,and I need you right now! Just come here,and put my cock inside that sweet tight pussy baby” He smirked in an almost demonic way and I immediately straddle his hips.

Once I lined his cock to my entrance he quickly thrusted inside of me,making me gasp.

While he gave sometime to adjust he said

“Oh it feels good to be home!” He chuckled

“Baby girl, I don’t know what you did or how,but we’re definitely gonna be doing this more often!” He smiled deviously before he holded my hips in place so he could fuck me like a maniac.

“Oh Ro,fuck”

I’ve never felt him so thick,so deep and so hard inside of me.He was fucking me at a pace so brutal that it was almost deliciously painful.

He grabbed my wrists from his chest and rapidly tugged me down so our chests were glued to each other’s,he took the opportunity to ferociously kiss my lips while he preceded to fuck me brutally.

“Ro,baby,I’m gonna-“

I couldn’t even finish my sentence,because my orgasm hit me so hard that I couldn’t even breathe properly.

“Oh fuck me baby! So fucking tight...so warm...” He gritted “So insanely wet”

With that I could feel his cock throbbing and the hot spurts of his cum inside of me.

When he released his last spurt,we look at each other’s eyes and shared the most passionate loving kiss.When we broke the kiss I said

“I love you Ro,so much”

“With your heart,body and soul?” He lightly smiled,remembering his own words said to me on our wedding vows.

I smiled back before answering without a doubt

“With all of my heart,my whole body and my only soul”

And it was in that moment that I knew I couldn’t have picked a better surprise for the owner and of my heart,body and soul.

[bastardtetsu]

wowowow. over 200 of y’all ??? insane. i know i don’t put out content all that consistently but thank you all for following my dumb lil thirst blog ! wild to think that less than a year ago i was embarrassed to admit that i even had a weeb phase in middle school, only to end up back on my bullshit in full swing as an adult writing reader insert fanfic on tumblr dot com,,, the validation i am feeling is unparalleled. so thank you ♡

i wanted to do something fun for this milestone, so i’m having a nice lil barbeque ! come get fed, grab something to drink, or just vibe w me :) all are welcome !

status: closed

○ THE FOOD ○

drabble requests : come get ur food fuckers !!! with permission i am taking a page out of my darling elle @/karasimpno’s book and asking u to send me:

a character 

a body part

a time of day

whether you want it mild (sfw) medium (suggestive) or spicy (explicit)

your preference of f!reader or gn!reader, if any

& i’ll write you a lil sumn sumn (~200-700 words probably) also i’ve updated my guidelines with specifics on who i write for/lewd, so be sure to take a look at that before you request !

anons are welcome, but if ur off anon you must be over 18 & indicate somewhere on your blog to request anything besides sfw

>> drabble mlist here <<

○ BEVERAGES ○

FMK : send me 3 characters & i’ll tell you which of them i’d fuck, marry, + kiss and include one or two hc’s for what i think that might be like ;) (you can include characters not on my ‘who i write for’ list, that’s only for drabbles!)

doodles : send me a character (or whatever u want idk) and i’ll draw a shitty lil doodle :) once again it will not be good :)

○ SMALL TALK ○

chat with me !! here’s some ask games if u need ideas, or ask me ur own questions, send thirsts, hc’s, roast some mf’s, flirt w me, the possibilities r endless !

all posts for this event will be tagged #bbq.200

ok moot time under da cut >:)

@karasimpno literally where would i be without u. thank you for diving into this pit of degeneracy with me and supporting & gassing me every step of the way, i can’t think of anyone else from my irls who i could go on this journey with and just make me feel so VALIDATED in all my insanity !!! i am so endlessly grateful for you ❤️❤️❤️ ilysm MWAH xoxoxo

@strawberryakaashi cait pls ur one of the funniest bitches on here not to mention a fantastic writer, so thankful we both joined the whorehouse around the same time bc having another newbie around to interact with made me way less nervous hehe :shypiss: thanks 4 being my sexiest beta & bestie 💞💘💖💗

@cultsumu nina nina nina i am SO happy i discovered your blog & started chatting with u, i’m obsessed with ur brain and talking with you is so great aaaaaa <3 we truly just clicked right away, i think we must be sexy aliens from the same planet or smth 👽💫🪐💕

@heauxzenji my angel daisy 💕💝💫 literally i was starstruck when u first followed me back, i love you so much ur always keeping us fed with ur writing, nsfw alphabets, p word hours, astro knowledge, suga content, all of it. AND ur the sweetest person in the whole world ?? bye get over here n smooch me 😩

@honeybunny-sawamura JADEEEE the sweetest ever, you are truly one of the nicest / most positive presences on my dash and i am so grateful for your support and friendship !!! all the hugs and kisses for u lovely 😇💓💘💖

@sugardaddykenma linnnnn truly The blog that made me officially return to tumblr & start this sideblog 😳 ur a sexy evil genius madam and i am in LOVE with u. yet another who i was starstruck to get a follow back from, ur brain is huge ur funny asf and ur the loml 🙏💗💞

@tsumurai OKAY FIRST OF ALL HOW WAS I NOT FOLLOWING U SOONER i really thought i had before i’m so sorry djhfdsj,,,, but darling your comments and tags on elle & i’s ficmas fics were truly keeping the two of us going, your support & enthusiasm is so encouraging and genuinely means the world 😻🥰❣️ also we gotta discuss the fact that i, too, am rabidly in love with rin matsuoka and have been for years plssss 😭😭

@stonersugawara​​ @miyangel​ @daishou-s​ (+ @strawberryakaashi @heauxzenji & @sugardaddykenma again) hi whores 😏💛 i love kicking it in the server with u all, & all of you are such talented writers and i feel honored to be amongst such icons :hheeee:

@ceo-of-daichi @chaotickatts @kagsbitch @aiiishiiiteru @tetsurolls @saetyrn9​ @velvesagi​ we’ve only interacted a lil bit (either bc i am shy or bc we became moots 2 seconds ago, or both) but either way I AM SUCH A BIG FAN OF YOU ALL & i am formally giving u an open invitation to hop in my inbox, DMs, or discord whenever u want 🥺💘💗💕

@daichis-kitty @keibby  @scorpiosanssexy @bobawithpomegranate @kmorgzz @waitforitillwritemywayout @rintaroutea​ we may not interact as much / at all bc i’m shy & we haven’t gotten to know each other yet 👉👈but know that i love you sm and you also have an open invitation to hmu wherever whenever xoxo

[like-that-one-weird-dog-thing]

If I Could Burn This Down

[1] . . . [2] . . . [3] . . . [4] . . . [5] . . .

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Ok no, but I just have to rant on this. It’s been consuming my thoughts y’all, I just can’t stop thinking about it all.

So, this is about the Dream SMP- I recently got introduced to it through some friends and the animatics by SAD-ist were really what sold me to it. I’ve been trying to catch up on it all(god, it’s so good but also such a mess, I don’t think I’d have it any other way) and I just. So many thoughts y’all.

That ending tho, y’all that’s really what started this train of thought. It was so good. Like, I’ve seen quite a few posts on why it was predictable, not the unexpected twist Dream promised, and just. Not that good of an ending and honestly that’s a matter of opinion so I shouldn’t really care(and I don’t. much) but I still want to rant on the direct opposite side because fuck it I have thoughts!!!

obv spoilers for recent dream smp actions

tw for discussion of death in-universe and indirect discussion of suicidal ideation/possible intention

boi did I not think I’d add those tws to a post about a minecraft rp server of all things, but here I am

stay safe y’all

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This will mostly be on Willbur’s decent, for those wondering, because it’s just. there’s so many things to that ok. I just, this is just gonna be a ramble, just for me to get my thoughts out there.

So, I’ve seen a lot of things about Willbur- his decent into madness being the main thing. Mostly, it all seems to boil down to one thing- his desire for power and his view of Tommy being what led to him, well, blowing up L’manburg. But I personally don’t see that as the full story. Sure, it’s part of it, but it just feels incomplete to me. What would kickstart it? how would he go from adoring Tommy and only wanting L’manburg so that Tommy could be safe, to blowing it all up and betraying Tommy?

How could he go from that to doing the one thing that would hurt Tommy the most?

I personally think the answer is simple. Tommy said it in his recent stream, welcoming ConnerEatsPants to the server, after all. 

Trauma makes people vulnerable.

And Willbur has gone through a lot of trauma.

So, quite a bit of this depends on your view of how the world works. I don’t know if it’s ever been stated as cannon, but the deaths are specifically what I’m talking about.

They die so so much, after all. How does the work in-world? are they actually dying, and there’s a respawn function to the world(as in, it’s been a fact of life in-universe that you can die and come back) or do they just get injured, as a number of animatics/animations have chosen to depict it as? Are they being dragged back home by their comrades, fatally injured, just to heal?

Personally, I don’t see that likely as the in-universe explanation. They come back, after all. Come back and continue fighting, minutes after they’re killed. You can’t just use injuries as an excuse there, to explain it away.

So, I’ll follow this along with the ‘respawn exists’ assumption. Still, that brings up more questions. How did Willbur and JSchlatt permanently die, then? do you have to die in such a traumatizing way(your father killing you, all the people who may have once been your friends cornering you to kill you as your hopped up on drugs) that you no longer want to go back? That something deep inside you snaps and your connection to this world breaks, or is it something else? Does someone else pull the strings?

Is Dream the one, in-universe, to decide when you can respawn and when you die permanently? He’s closest thing to a god they have, after all, with access to creative mode and final say over the lands- the true ruler of the world. Is it him?

And still, there’s more questions. What is it like? How does it feel? is the corpse left there, or does it just disappear, leaving your stuff behind? maybe your body crumbles to dust, maybe it fades away before your eyes

Is dying just like Willbur described? Nothingness until you awake, only a taste of true death, a few seconds to experience it, to make you fear it? Is the pain all in the before, or do you feel in the after too, phantom aches and pains as you go about your life, the time you died a memory forever haunting you?

Does the end of your life hurt? Do you feel yourself being brought back to life? Does that hurt?

No matter what you decide, the fact of the matter is, it’s all still traumatizing. Being injured severely enough that you have to drop all your items and flee to heal up, or dying from those that you are always forced to interact with- it leaves a mark. Your left different than you were before. And other people can take advantage of this.

Who fed into all of Willbur’s manic thoughts, who fed into his idea that he was all alone? Him against the world, no one safe anymore. Who let him rot in those ideas?

Dream.

He did, afterall, give him the gunpowder for his eleven and a half stacks of tnt. He made a deal with him, that no matter what, even if he won, even if Willbur took L’manburg back, even if he became president and could make a safer place for them all, make a safer place for Tommy, even then.

The place would be blown sky. high.

He feeds into Willbur’s ideas, his thoughts, he eggs him on and pushes him forward(there is a traitor among you, one that you least expect). What if Dream was the one who ruined Willbur’s button, the first time? Trying to keep him tagging along, trying to drag him through the dirt to really show him, this is how it is, you are alone, no where is safe- no one is safe, everyone is against you. Dream is a sort of god, in the server. The land is his. He wouldn’t want L’manburg to stand, and he would want the one who had started it thoroughly against the rebuilding of it, before he had it destroyed. It would be a blow to morale, after all, for their leader to no longer believe in the dream that he’d once had. It would sow doubt, would make them think maybe, maybe it wasn’t a good idea, Willbur made it and he’s against it now.

They think he’s gone mad, true, but that doesn’t change that fact that Willbur started L’manburg. If the stress of it all was enough to make him lose it, couldn’t the others too?

Maybe it’s not worth it.

He destroyed it.

And here’s the thing, when Phil shows up?

It feels like a catalyst. A kick, a shove. Whatever you want to call it.

One last push by Dream, to force Willbur to do it. 

Before, it follows. Willbur rants, he panics, he shakes. He stresses over it all, stares at that damn button. He made a deal, but should he really do it?

Tommy tried to give him the Presidency, tried to give him the power, a sign of trust. Surely, if Tommy trusted him after all that he’s done to him...

Surely, he can back away. Not ruin it.

Right?

He hesitates.

Then Phil comes. His father. He tries to talk him out of it, tries to get him to see sense. But in the end?

He’s the one final thing that Willbur needed to see, before his resolve hardened. Before the ache settled solid and true.

(Phil is panicking, and Willbur sees it. 

He doesn’t trust him either, does he?)

Willbur is alone, and everyone is against him.

He hits the button.

See, the compound of events, the repeated deaths(injuries) he’s suffered all throughout his life, the war, they all add up. Whether death hurts or not doesn’t matter in the end, whether they’re dying or not doesn’t matter, because it all still hurts. The before hurts.

And you can only be hurt so many times before you can’t stand to be hurt anymore.

L’manburg caused Willbur so much hurt. The war, the suffering- it wouldn’t have happened without L’manburg.

All that was left for him was hurt, and all he wanted was for that hurt to leave.

With L’manburg in ruins behind him(he survived the blast, did he intend to? He never wore armor), Willbur demands for Phil to kill him. His father.

He doesn’t beg. He’s desperate, it’s obvious by the way he slams his fist down as he screams for it, but he doesn’t beg.

Instead, he eggs Phil on.

Just what Dream did to him.

He throws his arms towards L’manburg, shoves it into Phil’s face, makes him look.

Willbur did that. He is the cause. Phil should kill him, everyone wants him to.

It was just Willbur. Just Willbur, Willbur and all his hurt, just him against the world.

No one was on his side and he was alone.

Willbur works to anger Phil. Instead of begging for death he demands it and throws his sword at his father’s feet. He forces him to make a choice. Him or the world, because that was what it really was. 

Willbur was alone. Him against the world. Would Phil choose him?

Look at me, it seems to scream, look at me and what I’ve done, look at the hurt I’ve now caused.

Where do you stand?

In the end, even if later, Phil seems to be good friends with Techno(another traitor, the traitors Techno Phil, it’s Techno, Phil, it’s Techno and he’s got eight whithers ready to go, you better hurry, run along now, before it’s too late), even if he doesn’t want to...

He chooses the world.

Phil kills Willbur, and Willbur gets to escape the hurt.

Is that what he wanted all along? Is that were his madness stems? The hurt of a boy watching children fight in a war, the hurt of a boy watching what is basically his brother fight and die over and over and over again, all for an idea he’d had...

Is that where it begins? Or where it ends?

L’manburg, the start and the end?

L’manburg, his symphony of hope, with a finale of agony.

It’s a predictable ending, maybe, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t fit. Techno may have been obvious, but that doesn’t mean there might not have been hope for otherwise, hope for a better future, hope for him to change his mind and hope for his affection for them to overrule his opinions and values of government.

I wonder, did Tommy ever see Techno and think of Willbur?

Did Willbur ever see Techno and think of Tommy?

Two siblings, seeing something that could have been(Tommy, lets be the bad guys) and something that will never be(Willbur, do you hear yourself?)

I wonder, did Willbur ever even give real thought to how the destruction of L’manburg would hurt Tommy? Did he?

Or was he too wrapped up in his thoughts, his own pain. Too wrapped up in the thoughts fed by Dream and the ideas burning through his skin.(the button might not even work -do you want to risk that?) 

Through it all, did he think?

And this is not to say that Willbur is absolved of his guilt, of the crimes he has committed. He giggles about Techno killing Tubbo, he pushes for Tommy and Techno to fight in a pit, where Tommy is almost certainly going to die(another death added to hundreds of tallies), and he laughs as they fight.

(It stays in the pit)

He is not innocent. Explainations for his actions don’t erase those actions. It does, however bring even more questions into the mix.

The Pit.

Techno and Willbur’s views on Tubbo’s death(I was peer pressured), Tommy’s refusal to accept that then accepting his own death at Techno’s hands.

Has it become trivial to Willbur and Techno? An expectation to Tommy? Is Tubbo really unfazed, or hiding any emotions over his death? Do you choose to believe he died, or that he was injured to near death by Techno? Which is worse? If death is nothingness, the pain of before gone, washed away, than isn’t it better to die then to be injured? Is Tommy upset about Tubbo learning once more what death is, dealing with the pain of the before, or is he mad that Techno didn’t finish the job and let Tubbo be healed instead of respawned?

Did he die, or just get injured?

Another thought on the broken button, was it Dream, or was it Willbur? Willbur, doing one last thing to try and cling to him life before.(surely, if he broke the button, the urge to run to it would leave him?) Did he ever regret it, when he finally did push it? I don’t think so

His ghost.

Is it the escape he wanted? Did he want to forget it all, everything that led to hurt and was hurt? Is his description of death just what he wanted- wished- it to be? Would it be different for someone else? Does he hate it? Crave to go back to it, to leave the wandering of the world he’s left behind? He’s said he’s wanted to come back to life- does he miss it? Can he feel any of it? The sunlight, the air around him, any of it? Or does the nothingness stick? Is that all he feels?

Does it ache, worse than living ever did?

.

.

.

[kindahoping4forever]

This year I’ve spent more time with all of you than I have with my own family. This fandom isn’t always easy, this website isn’t always functional and this year was impossibly difficult for reasons both global and so personal I don’t want to get into. Under the cut, there are some people I want to individually mention but I know sometimes these posts are basically the equivalent of reading someone else’s yearbook messages so I wanted to give a blanket thank you up front. If you’re reading this, it doesn’t matter if we’ve talked or not, if you are on my blog, you made this year bearable for me. You helped this place feel like home, you helped me feel like I had support and as trivial as this whole thing is, you helped me feel like I had purpose in a year where I literally sat alone in my bedroom all day everyday. Yes, I wish 2020 had been different and god I hope 2021 is better but regardless of all that, I know I have a place here and that gives me more comfort than I could ever put into words (and by now, y’all know I love words). If you’re reading this, thank you.

To my anons, whether you were a regular (SAB and my 🍒 friend, I hope you’re well) or a just a passerby, whether you address me as Tater Tot, Main Crystal, Historian or an all caps MA’AM, whether you’re screaming at me about a fic, something Ash just posted or an interview from 3 years ago that you only have a vague recollection of but need to discuss - I’ve had an immeasurable amount of fun with you. Thank you for wanting to talk to me.

To the regulars in my inbox like @ivebeenasleepsolong , @fedorable-killjoys , @ashtcnirwin, @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @roarformeprettylion @spicycal @ashtonlftv and many others (some it won’t let me tag and some I haven’t seen around in a minute and the Tumblr folder in my email is only scrolling back so far on mobile smh) - I always appreciate seeing a familiar face (? you know what I mean lol) in my notifications and again, thank you for wanting to talk to me.

In that regard, even if we haven’t talked and you just like or reblog posts, I do notice the people who are consistently popping up in my notifications and appreciate your presence. I won’t shout you out in case you’re lurking on purpose (lol) but I just wanted to mention I value you in our little community.

@sadistmichael @sexgodashton @irwinkitten @suchalonelysunflower @mymindwide @justhereforcalum @oldmes @loveroflrh You’ve all been so generous and encouraging when it comes to my writing and I genuinely cherish every piece of feedback you’ve given me. 

Anyone who has read or supporting any of my fics this year, I can’t thank you enough. Before this year, I’d never publicly shared anything I’d written nor did I plan to. I haven’t worked since March and writing is now how I fill my days, I can’t imagine what I’d be doing without it so thank you for indulging me, encouraging me and occasionally screaming with me. 

@wastethen8 We talk more on other socials than we do here now lol. I'm always so happy to hear from you whether it's about something fandom related we're excited about, a tiktok trend (😁), a song you're learning (💙) or a silly story about your life. Sorry for occasionally ghosting you when I forget to check my snaps lmao. Love you!

@ashtonangst Our meals this year? Sometimes few and far between but ma'am we got fed. I'm so glad to be riding in the superior lane with you. 😌

@notinthesameguey Whether it’s another broke!sos comment, a simple “come get your mans” or something equally entertaining, I adore seeing you in my inbox. (Not to mention the reaction memes omg)

@rebelwith0utacause From discussing 2017!sos to tattoo/pierced!sos to dream cover songs to your contributions to the “Daddy but...” list, any day you grace my inbox is a fine one, Ana. (I still regularly think about that broke!sos essay you sent in lmao)

@ashtonsunshine There’s really only one way I can properly convey my love for you. 

Thank you for your presence in my life. (Yes I am saying this to both the picture and to you 😂💙)

@karajaynetoday If we’re being honest (like pizza), we have been through so much in such a short span of time lmao. Thank you for your friendship, your kind heart and the Aussie snacks. Here’s to being #GirlBosses in 2021. 😌

To my beloved clowns @cashtonasfuck, @pxrxmoore, @feliznavidaddycal Big sigh. Cream Soda. Collarbones. Paying for parking. Auralism. The Cologne Incident. Sprinkle Gate. Water bottles. The Hat Shelf. ****** ****. Our chaos? Unmatched (except perhaps by own Clown King himself). Can you believe there was a time when we thought Ash planting A GARDEN was going to be the most exciting gift he’d give us this year? AND THEN HE MADE AN ENTIRE ALBUM. This year has been unreal in ways both good and bad and I feel like the luckiest clown in the world that I got to experience it with you all. Full send on those vibes, my friends.

@cal-puddies I’m sure everyone on this website is sick of me talking about how much I love you (you might be too, who knows lmao). I’ll keep it brief since I’m sure I’ll tell you at least 5 other times tonight how much you mean to me. I am only making it out of 2020 in one piece because of you. The writing, the clowning, the bad movies, those have all sustained me this year but it’s the knowledge that I have someone unequivocally on my side, that I can talk to about anything at any time that gets me out of bed in the morning (and on the days when I simply can’t get out of bed, you tell me that’s ok and I am also immeasurably grateful for that). I am a better writer from working with you, I am a better person for knowing you. There’s no one I’d rather live in a Cashton AU with, plan to buy an overly ambitious farm with or otter-bond myself to as we float into the unknown waters of 2021. You’re the best bestie.

[levyfiles]

helloooo!!!! since you are my fave blog about shyan content, i must ask: what are your favorite fics???

AHhh! I–OK well, Lately I’ve been finding more and more fics that fill my heart right up with every gorgeous headcanon there is, but If we’re talking all-time favourites, I have finally compiled a List from the moment I started reading shyan fic in 2018 of fics that have ruined my life; all of them here in no particular order.

Be All My Sins Remembered by spoopyy

Summary: In every lifetime, they find each other.

Review: This fic manages to take you on a long journey through what feels like a series of AUs and they all weave in and out of the wealth of their relationship with some vivid descriptions of the historical settings their journey takes them through. As someone who grew up reading Anne Rice’s epics through historical events, this fic is right up my alley. A vampire Shane passing through the wave of human society’s climb searching for a reincarnated Ryan again and again, trying to hold on to him and keep him through great tragedies and timeframes that just don’t let them be together. This was one of the first fics I read when I was only a lurker and to be quite honest, I need to give this one a nice re-read, maybe for the book club which would be loads of fun. Either way, 10/10. Would be Hurt in the heart again.

Perfect Fit by @beaniegara

Summary: There’s a legend that says anyone able to take all of statue Shane’s cock will summon the god to the mortal realm. Given the statue’s excessive size, no one has ever succeeded to prove or disprove the story.Until Ryan that is.

Review: Listen. You wanna talk actual fandom legends. This fic is one of them and it pulls out all the stops on being delicious and evocative. Also features one of my favourite incarnations of size queen bergara. Good stuff and you’re really rooting for Ryan in this lol. 

Everything’s Weird and We’re Always in Danger by the beethechange

Summary: Ryan perches on the edge of the bed, an indistinct shape that Shane can only just make out in the dark, so he turns the lamp back on. He wants to see Ryan’s face, wants to know that he is alright. Ryan’s cheeks are damp, his hands fisted in the hideous flowered duvet.

“It won’t go away,” Ryan says miserably. “I’ve been like this since we got here, basically, and it won’t fucking—”

“Ah,” Shane says. “Well, you know, sometimes fear…adrenaline…they can affect people. Physically.” He waves his hands indistinctly crotchward. “It’s a, a scientifically known phenomenon.” Shane feels a little better staying in the realm of scientifically known phenomena.

Review: Word of advice. You see a fic is authored by beethechange, run don’t walk because you’re absolutely always going to be treated to the best of banter, the best of prose, chemistry, organic execution and feels right up the bottom end of your heart. This fic, this changed everything I thought I knew I wanted out of a bed-sharing fic. It’s got a little bit of two treats here. You got a sex-pollen-esque situation mixed with bed-sharing and holy fucking damn that is more than you think you deserve, but read this because you do deserve the best of the best. The build up, the dialogue, the surprisingly hilarity of it, the hotness woah, and The Aftermath. When you think you know what you’re in for, you’re wrong and you’re most pleasantly surprised. Get this fic in your life and honestly? while you’re at it, you could do a clean sweep of every fic in her list of works and while my less than adequate reading time management may still be short on some of her most well-recommended pieces, I have an adamant faith that Bee doesn’t disappoint. Go get y’all juice.

Maelstrom by thewindupbird

Summary: Here’s the thing about driving halfway across the country to see someone. You can’t really deny, after that, that you’re pretty much head over heels for them.

Review: Listen. One morning on a day off, I just laid in bed and read this– all 40k+ words– while lying there clutching my pillows, hurting and loving every moment of it. The descriptions of Americana, the slow steady metronome rhythm of Ryan’s feelings as frightened and helpless as they feel when you’re relating deeply to them juxtaposed with the deep-seated struggle of understanding what it is to be with someone you love so much but your mental health is burning quiet holes in your ability to express it in a way that can be understand. Ryan’s fierce determination, breaking through the silence of their non communication is really Everything to me in this fic. i think I really left my heart in the scene in Shane’s parents kitchen. That finished me. Read this fic and understand the deep relief you get when you’ve finished a fight with someone you fiercely care about and they understand you and you understand them and it’s OK; it’s gonna be all right. Augh. 

A Burial on Box Hill by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: The Celtics believed that the yew flower symbolized both immortality and death. Meanwhile, for centuries, the buxus flower was seen as a symbol for safe passage into the afterlife.

Or,Shane and Ryan were never the same after investigating the Black Forest of Germany alone.

Review: Let me just quote my bookmark comment here. Usually I flee from tragedy like a cat spotting a cucumber but the brevity and the prose dragged me in and now I’m a functioning mess. Bless this fic. Oh my god it’s short and reads like one of those quick horror stories you’ll read to your friends just as the scary stories are transitioning from the urban legends to the ones that feel real. Big warning for main character death but still read it if you appreciate a good story told.

Body Farming by shiphitsthefan

Summary: Failed suppressants and a surprise heat: the worst of cliches, and here Ryan stands, living the trope on location with the alpha he’s hopelessly in love with. Even worse, they’re spending the night in the famous Bell Witch Cave, completely alone and with no way to contact the outside world.

Ryan knows he can survive and keep his preheat a secret, as long as Shane will stop being so protective and concerned. After all, it’s not like Shane wants to bond with him.

Right?

Review: Now judging from the reactions of many people I’ve spoken to, big heavy ABO kink is not popular here but guys, GUYS. This one. Let this one in I promise it is not what you think it is. The dynamic is organic and the worst side of the trope is subverted in all the best ways and lord help us, the smut is hot, like swelteringly smoking. It’ll stay with you. 

Believer by cellard00rs

Summary: Some demons and otherworldly creatures love climbing up the power ladder. Shane is not one of these. He likes where he is (thank you very much) and has no interest in moving up. All he wants is to give his friend Ryan a nice birthday gift. So, naturally, everything goes to hell.

Review: This fic is another fandom legend. When I think demon!Shane. It’s this and one other one that always pops right into my mind. This was my first exposure to the bureaucracy meets the supernatural!Shane trope and I was sold from the get-go. The Shane in this fic is everything I imagine a demon!Shane is and his ginger care for Ryan, the concept of their bond and how even though Shane is a demon and responsible for keeping the supernatural a firm secret from Ryan and the rest of the world, his skepticism is relayed through his status as a demon. I want to talk more about it but I think so much of the enjoyment comes from the surprises as the plot unfurls. 

Heartbeat by quackers

Summary: So the guy Ryan sits next to at work is a vampire. That’s no big deal, right?

Review: I could talk your literal ear off about this fic. Vampires, man. I love the trope; you don’t know me as a person if you don’t know this at least. And this fic kept me fed all damn year. It was a readable garden. If there is one thing I can guarantee about quackers’ work, it’s that their world-building is a festival of detail. The realms and alternate universes they work with while still managing to keep Shane and Ryan’s voices so familiar and real is a talent not attributed to your everyday author. This fic propelled me into wanting to write more and more because quackers makes stories so much fun! Reading their work is, to me, not unlike the feeling I got when I was younger and finding series that speak to my need to escape this crummy existence, made me want to believe in fun spicy things like a vampire that lived through centuries, cynical but still searching, navigating a world where people are still people, adjusting to differences and prejudices, finding comfort in a guy that understands that and more. I’ve talked about this fic in more than a few different posts so I’d just be reiterating a lot of things I loved about the more historical aspects of Shane’s journey, the way Ryan is so firmly curious and inventive in ways to connect with Shane. Look, even if vampires aren’t your thing, I can promise that if you visit quackers list of work, you will find something for your supernatural-lovin’ palate that speaks to a gentler side of your own curiosity about monsters and the jocks that love them. lol.

I’ll Crawl Home by carrieonfighting

Summary: “Shane was almost unnerved by how quickly he’d settled into this body, this name, this life - his friendship with Ryan was the most time he’d spent with any human before, and yet the man fascinated him.”

Review: This is the second fic I think of when someone says the words ‘demon!Shane’ to me because ohhhh my word, this fic is a masterpiece. I really am hard pressed to find anything better than the feeling I get when I think of demon!Shane headcanons interwoven with the irl Buzzfeed reality and the idea of the Ryan as we know him being protected and watched and loved so deeply by a demon that found him so long ago and wanted nothing but to protect him. I feel an almost vicious glee reliving that moment when Ryan and Shane are on goatman’s bridge and man, I just really love canonical fic mixed with a slight twist. The writing in this makes it work so well with lines that still haunt my heart and soul like “Ryan liked popcorn. So did the demon. Genuinely, not just out of a desire to please the human – he liked the way it crunched between his vessel’s teeth. There were some aspects of taking a corporeal form that were…nice; laughing, coffee, feeling warm. Ryan made him laugh.” FUCK! The beautiful agony of it, watching the demon fall in love with Ryan through the eyes of his vessel. Just stark with pain and unspoken, well-written angst and pain with a perfect ending, I wouldn’t change for anything. I love this for us as a fandom and will always love that author crafted this piece and shared it with us. (Also every time I hear Work Song by Hozier, I think of this fic again and sigh).

Like I said at the beginning, thanks to @skepticbeliever-bookclub I’ve been discovering and re-discovering some fics I hadn’t had the chance to read and or have never even heard of before and my bookmarks list is growing with each new week. So if you get through this list and need more in your life, here you go. Every fic in my bookmarks deserves the community’s attention. If I can just make one special request of you guys? If you do happen to click any of these and enjoy what you read, please take the time and tell the author what you loved about it. It really changes the game out here for fanworks and fan-creators like you wouldn’t even believe and the people who shared these works with us worked hard to make the stories what they are and put a great deal of emotional investment in sharing it. Share more than your silence in return. 

Hope you find something you like here, nonnybabe.. 

[robobrainmurdermysterytheatre]

RE: This post (sort of) because I feel like I derailed the OPs post and I literally don’t know them and I feel awkward posting on it more lol 

BTW if y’all are sick of talking to me about this no worries, nobody owes me a reply, I just like talking about the game and I have learned a lot from what other people have to say so here we are.

Fuck this got really long so I’m cutting it but it’s about Elder Maxson. Again. Sort of. And Synths. And I want to preface by saying I’m all about love what characters you want, you do you. I’m not trying to hate on anyone for liking or disliking fictional characters or organizations. But I have a lot of feelings.

So I’ve been thinking about a few things and a few things have been brought to my attention that I haven’t seen brought up before. So the quest for Teagan, with the crops and stuff, I know this is a sticking point and possibly could be disregarded because it’s an optional quest, but if Teagan knew Maxson wouldn’t approve of strong arming settlers for crops, why would he tell *you* to do it? I know you can complete the quest other ways, but looking at his voice lines he’s pretty gung-ho on the strong-arming part. He has zero reason to think you wouldn’t march on up to Maxson and tell him Teagan’s trying to put you up to strong-arming settlers, which would lead me to believe he doesn’t have a problem with Teagan putting you up to strong-arming settlers at all. 

Also I just... I don’t know if I can believe that Maxson feels bad for killing or trying to kill Danse (depending on how you choose to do it). Like I *want* to believe he does, but Jesus, he’s just so cruel about the whole thing, even if you convince him to spare Danse. And afterward, when you get promoted to Paladin if you clapback at him when he says all of Danse’s stuff is yours now he says “To the victor go the spoils. Being a part of the Brotherhood, you should learn to appreciate that sentiment.” and he is sinister about it, it literally says in the dialogue direction ‘sinister smile’ I feel like there is A LOT loaded into that sentence, knowing that real, actual armies IRL historically and even now operate like this, especially armies who are allowed to operate at will without or with very little government oversight, their whole agenda is to win, take shit and expand and be more formidable. Maxson and the BoS won’t outright say it ever in the game, but looking at their actions and their sentiment, it seems, to me, like that is kind of part of their agenda. Which, I mean, you could argue is fine because they’d be keeping order and killing super mutants but they’d be running things their way, uncontested. Eventually they’d weed out all the synths and kill them - so bye Danse, bye Curie, bye Nick, don’t forget Magnolia and Sturges also - of course they would kill Strong so bye Strong too. They probably wouldn’t let me keep my cool robot workbench or my badass enormous sentrybots with skull faces and minigun hands because that kind of technology isn’t fit for civilians so I’d guess I have to say bye to Ragnarok and Lilith and Lucifer and Azrael (please do not judge my precious children by their sinister names) and Jezebel and Ada too. Oh, and Synth Shaun. They would definitely kill Synth Shaun too. 

The thing I learned today which is part of the reason I’m back on this bullshit besides that thread ☝ is after Blind Betrayal Maxson has Danse’s records in the BoS stripped. I just got done in Fallout 3 doing the beginning of the Brotherhood stuff there and I have to go talk to that wizard-looking scribe lady (god I love their stupid outfits in 3, but I digress) and she makes A REALLY BIG DEAL about how their records are so important, every member has a record of the stuff they’ve done and how they’ve died and that’s their legacy. It’s mean, like vindictive. Like, synth or not, he did all of whatever he did. Aside from that, Maxson has literally altered the historical truth - there’s not even record that says “we accidentally a synth, this is what he did and we killed him because synths are bad” Again, like, thinking about real-world historical examples of people intentionally altering pieces of history to erase people or groups of people or what people have done -  the reason behind actions like that have never been good. 

And I’ve been thinking a lot about the whole, the people of the Commonwealth are bigots thing a lot. Yes, they are scared of synths because of the wrath The Institute has brought down on the people. They’re also scared of Raiders and Gunners. They’re scared of anything that stands between them and being safe and fed. Like, listen, they understand the difference between a human dude walking up into their settlement and a Raider, I feel like if someone bothered to take a second to explain to them Not All Synths(tm) work for The Institute and a lot of them are actually really nice and might brew you a stimpack or help you solve a noir mystery or take care of your feral infestation down the road they would be receptive to it. They would be especially receptive of it if the person telling them that was the head of the organization keeping them safe and fed >.> Would they be perfectly accepting? Probably not, but they would probably let them live for two seconds without throwing a fit. They would probably not shoot-to-kill on sight. Even the people in Diamond City who talk shit about Nick aren’t out there trying to murder him. 

Kind of in that same vein, let’s talk about Desdemona and the Minutemen for a second. Because I feel like, and maybe I’m wrong about the intention, my girl got slandered into making it look like she doesn’t support The Minutemen. If you fail your covert op any number of ways, she literally says you can use them to forcibly liberate the Synths. Hell, if you haven’t met Preston yet, she’ll tell you where he is and to go find him because she thinks The Minutemen can help. She’ll only go off on you if you don’t sound the evacuation alarm. If you destroy The Institute with The Minutemen and you sound the alarm, like Preston tells you on no uncertain terms to do, she’ll call you “The destroyer of the Institute. Liberator of the synths.” and say “My only regret is we couldn't have been there when you did it.“ When you talk with her about the people trying to hurt the Synths that made it out of the destruction of The Institute and she says “ They're vigilantes and bigots. They don't recognize anyone's laws. Not even yours.” I don’t think she’s talking about ALL the people, she’s talking about people who are vigilantes and bigots which, if you do the quests to go rescue the Synths, usually bring you to Raider dens, who aren’t your people and you’re working against anyway. The gangs that hunt Synths that she has you clear out after The Institute is destroyed are Raider gangs. John the Farmer in buttfuck egypt out by the glowing sea isn’t slaughtering Synths, he’s busy with his farm and his water purifier that doesn’t work and Gunners attacking him weekly. When it comes down to it, how many people like John the Farmer are going to bite the hand that feeds them and fixes his water purifier and fucks up the Gunners if that hand is The Minutemen and they say Synths are OK (because they are, generally)? 

and RE: danger synths and Acadia and stuff... so I’m trying to unpack the whole, weird Acadia lore that magically allows for DiMA to insert memories that he didn’t have in the first place into synth replacements  (e.g. you kill Tektus, stuff his body in a wall, but DiMA can make a “perfect replica” of him with nothing to go on?) I’m assuming when it was said that synths pose a unique danger that humans don’t, this is what was being referenced - that Synths can be messed around with to replace humans in order to manipulate whatever. Putting Acadia aside for juuuuuuust a second - because of the weird magic lore contradiction - there’s a couple of points about this. We see very few people in the game who have the resources, the technology and the know how to actually mess with a Synth’s brain. Even the people supposedly the best at replacing people with “perfect copies”, The Institute, are still kind of shit at it. Every single infiltrator that we see in the game knows what they are and gets called out by someone who figures out what they are. The “perfect copy” idea is hysteria - possibly even propaganda from The Institute itself. The only contradiction to that is what DiMA did in Acadia and honestly, I have no idea how to explain that. That’s all aside from the fact that, technically, in this universe humans have the ability to do the same thing. We know humans can be face changed. Deacon says he was both a girl and a ghoul (the ghoul incident is legit and backed up by terminal entries in the Railroad) and to be either of those from being human dude Deacon, you would have to get a voice change so that has to be a thing, right? Take a human who knows enough about another human, physically turn that human into the other human, and you have someone replaced, no Synths needed. And even Far Harbor, who will, with certain choices, go destroy Acadia don’t destroy them just because they’re synths, they destroy Acadia because Acadia murdered and replaced Avery. 

Which brings me to the final thought I had because holy crap I just wrote for like two hours and I’m tired and out of steam now. I keep really, really wanting to like the BoS and Maxson because they have the neat stuff and a lot of their people are cool and my friends like them but I just, like, can’t as long as they’re a faction that advocates for the genocide of Synths. That’s the one sticking point I have. I could maybe even tolerate them hanging around the Commonwealth where they maybe shouldn’t be, I could maybe see them through a nefarious lens than I do if I knew they wouldn’t come to Sanctuary and wipe out a third of my population because of how they were made - if they weren’t trying to kill my friends and my synth son. Honestly, I love a lot of fanon stuff about Maxson and the BoS because it changes that but canon, in the game, that’s what they would do. 

[cvenir]

here i am to introduce EIGHT characters that i actually thought i had already introduced lmao set me on fire !! but yay, take a look under the cut! ofc eventually proper bios will hit my pages and their tasks will expand much more on my children! as always, pinterests and songs are linked if u wanna go a lil deeper

just kidding i drafted that when i was aCTUALLY gonna do 8 but thankfully tea says she won’t accept me until i post 2 intros so yOU SHALL RECEIVE 2 RN and 8 later <33333 gotta keep y’all on your toes heh also i wrote niall’s in my journal on the plane so like... it’s not great (literally just bullets of sentence fragments) but wtvr that’s what bios are for amirite

NIALL O'DONOGHUE looks an awful lot like TARON EGERTON. HE is TWENTY-EIGHT and while they're ASTUTE, they have a tendency to get pretty ARDUOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to DON'T WANNA FALL IN LOVE by KYLE (ok his pinterest is incredibly unfinished look away)

v conflicting mix of soft and hard

king of suppressing his lowkey intense feelings

kinda awkward around others due to the fact that he spent his entire life reading, writing, and studying –– he rarely interacted with other people as a kid and this mostly continued into his adult life

sweet soft boi has a double masters in medieval and renaissance studies and french and romance philology; he’s working on his phd rn while interviewing to become an assistant professor at kola university

grew up w a single mom (never knew dad) and had no siblings so his childhood was even lonelier :////

so like mad libs = his bff :’(

well mad libs and the shoulder flashlight he invented for late night reading (shoutout to amy santiago)

v soft and passionate heart

loves intellectual discussions like my boi has v strong gemini/virgo/mercury influences –– and a libra (or taurus i haven’t decided yet) venus so waTCH OUT

takes friendship v seriously (love u grant <333 @mcnuggcts )

buttt he can be a giant asshole sorry i don’t make the rules

v organized and particular

and scared of getting close to people bc he’s so used to being alone ugh my son!!

but once you get in there you’ll see he’s a good guy like rlly is he just has a bad temper sometimes and can barely express any emotion but anger half the time :///

ISLA VARGA looks an awful lot like ALEXIS REN. SHE is TWENTY-TWO and while they're SAGACIOUS, they have a tendency to get pretty MACABRE. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to COOL GIRL by TOVE LO. 

so i’ve played isla before n i’m v sorry to do this but i feel hella lazy so i’m sORRY but here comes a fucking huge wall of text don’t look at me and don’t feel like u have to read it ://// all the triggers i tagged apply to her; she’s p dark so seriously do not read it if you think she will make you uncomfortable!!

to preface, isla is like the embodiment of all of the seven deadly sins, and i molded her a lot after amy dunne (scary, i know) and april ludgate (mostly amy tho april is just deadpan like she is –– when she’s being herself, that is), as she is an incredible pococurante yet perfectionist who borders on sociopathy

soooo this will make sense later but her real name is actually brigid (father’s surname idk) which she now uses as her middle name

so isla’s dad is a fucking rockstar !!! badass right. she’s half-siblings with hadley ( @ofadorations ) and colby ( @shtbgs ) but she actually never met her mom, something she’s not too pressed about

bc she was cute as a button, family friends decided to get her into the entertainment business as a child star almost as soon as she could walk –– she did it all, acted, modeled, danced, sang, she was literally hollywood’s little starlet and she hated every minute of it. the entertainment business loved who they created, but that girl was never her and it weighed deeply on her psyche.

when she was twelve, she decided to fake her own disappearance because she was fed up with everything –– she cut her hair to her ears, dyed it brown (and has continued to do so ever since) and sneaked her way to nyc hoping no one would recognize her

well someone did, and they happened to be a member of ruthless and organized mobs of the city –– in return for keeping her concealed, she pledged her devotion and became one of their most skilled and lethal honeytraps in the business (WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE BC THEY MADE HER START YOUNG I AM SO SORRY FOR WRITING THIS IT JUST PLAYS HEAVILY INTO HER CHARACTER)

along the way, members inevitably died –– people she was sworn to care for –– many times before her eyes as well, which only lead her to realize she enjoyed witnessing all sorts of death, even those of people she was supposed to “love”. emotion was almost nonexistent in isla’s childhood, a trait that bled into her character development.

she began to idolize the gang and its power, something she now craved. still, isla was doing a great job of portraying herself to those around her as a rosy, meek, baby-doll, when in actuality she was a child full of hate who would soon blossom into a young adult of the same tone. she became even more obsessed with death, fantasizing about it as if her unusual thoughts would make her less afraid when it came for her. 

eventually, as she grew older, she was accepted into the higher ranks of the mob; this couldn’t have made isla more content. the macabre girl was honored that someone else noticed her genius, the way she could predict things, assess situations, manipulate people to do her bidding. it was only right that she was initiated into a society that praised her for such harshness

but, as all things do, her time in the gang ended after ten years and isla did what she does best: disappeared. she’s relocated back close to home, kola california, and it’s only a matter of time before people and the industry realize just who she is

if she’s acting like her true self, she behaves like a negative, eldritch layabout who likes to watch others suffer (sounds extreme, i know). however, she rarely lets anyone see the real her, and instead accepts various facades in a big game –– the darkness is truly her personality, she’s not faking her cold demeanor. this image enables her to mask her true potential and the fact that she is unflaggingly loyal and cares about those she’s close to.

if i had to give her a label, it would probably be the pococurante (which is defined as: an indifferent person. possibly they’re bored, jaded or even been hurt. either way, they tend not to get attached to things and don’t show much enthusiasm, whether that’s on the outside or the inside, too)

on the other hand, she could be accurately summed up as an arcane, as she’s an enigmatic mystery and she prides herself on being a puzzle that several people have failed to solve. there are many sides to her personality; in some aspects, she’s very much an aesthete considering she spends a great deal of her time taking putting together outfits, so she has a very defined fashion sense and typically dresses like a princess half the time, which is very ironic considering her dark personality. she truly is so GLAMOROUS (and this is why i love alexis for her) and she works that mean girl, hard soul aesthetic while serving looks and also able to come across as incredibly sweet, which is perfect for her multiple personas. she’s a stunner, with both her appearance and personality; as much as she is indifferent and would prefer to fly under the radar, wherever she goes people always want to ask questions, making her into this intangible concept that everyone wants to define.

people will recognize parts of her as if they’ve seen here in another life, and because of her ostentatious, puzzling, and spellbinding personality, she’s unforgettable. on the other hand, she’s also something of a virago, due to the fact that she can be incredibly feisty when angered; but it takes quite a lot to actually set off her fuse, as she’s good at controlling which emotions she shares. for the most part, she is incredibly blasé and even-tempered. additionally, she’s is a bit of a picaro because her primary aim with her life at this point is to be independent and liberated from any and all attachments to other people. mostly, though, she’s is nothing more than a girl who’s afraid; of what, she still can’t decide.

all in all, she’s so much of everything that she isn’t quite certain of her own identity. her character is one shrouded in secrets and shadows yet alluring and sensual. but, lbr, most of all she’s just deadass terrifying. one of her defining characteristics is her desire to make things happen for her through her own abilities and determination. obstinate as all get out, she doesn’t like to own up to making mistakes so she tries to prove that she’s almost invincible to them bc she doesn’t wanna let anyone see her vulnerable, or she doesn’t want to let someone down - this refers only to those that she’s actually close to. due to her apathetic nature, all she really wants to do is let most people down – people she finds boring and useless – and have some fun because of it. however, when it comes to people she truly has allowed herself to care about, her deepest desire is for their happiness because they must be pretty damn special for making her give a shit.

still, because of her evasive tendencies, she almost always does ruin things for herself and for others, even when she actually cares. she’s like a double-edged sword; when she finds something worthwhile, she sees so much beauty and potential in it, but she’s got a midas touch. whenever she wants to obtain it or pursue it, her involvement makes everything fall to ashes, and she is afraid of her own influence. despite her tendency to run away, once she latches on and decides to be truly loyal, she’ll be devoted in such an extent that she would undoubtedly kill for them.

she can be a loudmouth whenever she actually decides to speak, constantly fabricating outlandish stories and even going off like a deranged person, but beneath her caustic and frightening exterior, isla is rather pensive. on the occasion that she chooses to offer legitimate advice, it’s usually very elaborate and composed. still, she doesn’t want people to know about capable she is, or how intelligent she can be, so she hides her rare brilliance with a tough exterior and stoic personality.

idk if you can tell but i like diving into the specifics of my character like their star signs and stuff so i searched an amy dunne mbti and tweaked it bc it really helped describe her even further! she’s a intj !

introverted intuition (ni): isla sees everything around her in a world of symbols, of metaphors, and of potential. her narration will continually be littered with predictions, with ideas about how things are going to be and what will result from this or that. despite her brashness that some may assume is impulsivity, she is a planner, anticipating new “problems” and seeking to rectify them with her own twisted brand of justice. she tries to work everything into her overall system of understanding, of her big ideas about how the world works, including her take on her various false identities she possesses for her previous job as an escort but also to mess with the minds of others around her. she’s always disappointed by how the real world is never as good as the way she imagined it; she is perfect and nothing else can catch up with her expectations.

extroverted feeling (fe): despite her aloofness, and rather lack of any sort of emotional bearing, empathy, or any sort of true feeling, isla is conscious of how others’ perceive her, of the image she’s created, and of how key that social perception is to her success, even if it’s just in her own imagination. she restrains her real opinions in order to adapt to her environment, as she’s somewhat of a chameleon, only a few have had a chance to catch the true witch beneath the crown. she’s the mistress of change, easily altering her identities in order to better fit in with new people, should the situation require it. she’s easily devastated when she reveals her real personality to others, as in the past, some that she’s left truly see her have refused to accept her twisted true-self. even though she is wholesomely selfish and self-seeking, isla is very people-focused, and applies most of her intellect and analysis onto general people-based functions, that may she can have the confidence that she has clearly manipulated and analyzed every aspect of her environment, as she needs this to feel in control.

introverted thinking (ti): as mentioned, isla is highly analytical, always trying to see the why of a scenario, what’s behind human behavior, which turns her attention to psychology and manifests in her flair for anticipating the thoughts and actions of those around her; she is so obsessed with understanding why people tick that she looks past her own slighted judgment, as she herself could easily qualify as a sociopath/psychopath. she’s always trying to fit in any new experience, or piece of information, into her pre-established system of facts, and as such is rarely ever surprised. despite her apathy and lack of care for her life or how it progresses, she’s highly organized and loves to make checklists, arrangements for the future, and methodically ticks of her obligations, one by one. while her emotions and feelings are significantly suppressed, and even nonexistent, she makes up for that human trait with a very powerful mind, one that is quick to learn and adept with languages, memorization, and logic. however, she doesn’t want anyone to know just how brilliant and quick she is, as it’s her greatest asset, thus explaining why she chose not to be a member on the intellectual team.

extroverted sensing (se): isla tends to respond her physical environment with fierce analysis, as expressed in her intellectual capabilities. she’s almost incapable of living in the moment, contrary to how people suspect she is, considering she portrays herself as impulsive and cunningly excitable. in reality, though, even when she’s crossed off everything on her checklist, she’s almost incapable of relaxing, or enjoying the world around her, as she doesn’t find things that other people find beautiful. she struggles the most with the physical side of her plans, even though she is a very physical individual. she is very open with her body and indulges with the lusts of the flesh, as she sensuality is at the same level as her wickedness. along with this, isla craves for the environment that houses her figure to be pleasant and organized, and can’t stand when things are out of order.

[suckerforstrangerthings]

Steve as a boyfriend.

just bc i’m not being fed well enough and i have some hc’s of my own

so yeah

steve as a boyfriend bc it’s been a week since I've finished the whole two seasons of ST for the first time I feel deprived after reading every.single.steve.post.in.existence

and i literally made another account just feed myself haha might as well feed everyone amiright

anywaY STEVE

a full course meal and full time daD WHAT A DAD Y’ALL BETTER BE STANNING DAD OF A MILLION KIDS STEVE HARRINGTON OKAY

but yeah steve as a boyfriend

I'm starting this from the origins ok cool glad we’re on the same page

so basically all this canoodling between you and steve starts in s2 because in s1 he was a teenager and worry free before he began to bald and stress over god knows how many kids he ended up with bc two were missing and he mainly handled four??? I'm still lost at this point

but yeAH

you wear stripes turtle necks with bomber jackets and you slay them tbh

you're a newb like billy

that story arc comes in later in the post jusT GIMME A SEC

but yeah

I'm making you dustINS SISTER BC DAMN imagine my tiny badass dustin knockING SOME SENSE INTO HARRINGTON LIEK ‘DUDE THATS MY SISTER’

i imagine you being present and dustin gets all in your and steve’s face but steve, being the dad but still teenager that he is, places his whole hand on his son’s face and pushes him to the side as if he wasn't even there

but yeaH YOU CAME FROM OUT OF TOWN BC THE MAGIC OF NETFLIX AMIRIGHt thEY EVEN MAKE THE DEAD ONES COME BACK ALIVE

IM LOOKING AT YOU WILLY WILL

anywAY YOURE LIKE THE FEMALE VERSION OF STEVE OK

y’all have a great sense of hair I'm jealous from imagining it

a couple that slays hair together, stays togethER.

you’ve come across steve a ton of times in the high school, some times were spent on him trying to get your attention bc you really didn't give a shit about anyone??? it was friendLY ATTENTION THO BC NANCYYYYYYYYYY.

and steve was a curious bean and you were a mysterious bean and y’all know the saying; curiosity killed the steve.

but satisfaction brought steve back.

heads up, bonus points for confusion bc steve calls you ‘henderson’ like, your first name?? steve doesnt know her mhm.

and since names are generic as shit steve didn't really click into the fact that you were dustiNS SISTER

like

boi sees you power walking behind dustin when he goes to the wheelers’ house w flowers

the scene goes like this

“HENDERSON?!”

“HARRINGTON?!”

bc im lazy imagine that going on for a good two minutes until steve questions if you and dustin are siblings

“son of a bitch, steVE, WE’RE BOTH HENDERSON, SEEING AS YOU JUST WASTED MY TIME BY SAYING IT ON FUCKING REPEAT LIKE WE DIDNT FUCKING KNOW”

i imagine that to come out of dustins mouth

dustin and steve were one of the best things to come out of strangER THINGS CAN S3 JUST COME OUT NOW PLS ITS BEEN A WEEK BUT IT FEELS LIKE 87 YEARS

you end up following dustin into steves car bc never in a million years would you trust steve harrington w your baby brother. 

you take that back when you realise he's actually a damn good babysitter

speaking of babysitters

you didn't think you'd become the mom to steves parental pairing

you didn't think you'd be a mom at all, not until literally you'd be birthing one out

looks like theres a loophole for everything bc you and steve end up doing a lot of domestic shit together when you acc date and imma leave that for towards the end

so yeah you end up getting intertwined with the demo dogs showdown; steve w his bat and you with dustins hockey stick

lucas calls y’all the power couple

you become max’s role model

“that was so badass”

when y’all are back at the byers’, you and steve end up tag teaming to handle the bull that is billy hargrove (loVE DACRE OK) 

steve ends up getting beat up as shit and billy uses that spare time to manipulate you. mANIPULATION IS NOT OKAY!!

he has your cheeks squishing between his hand and you up against the wall until dustin tries to intervene bc sisTER.

steve gets up again and pushes dustiN OUTTA THE WAY BC NO ONE HOLDS YOU AGAINST THE WALL THAT IS NOT COOL!!

steve ends up beat up again and max gotta out the syringe bC billy be loco.

you comply with max being the driver to the demogorgon hole thingy bc you stay at the back with steves head lying on your stomach as you press compromised ice packs of peas and whatnot on his face

dustin swore he saw tears in your eyes

you whisper gratefulness bc time spent with steve was fuckign crazy but he actually got himself beat up for you

and no onES DONE THAT BEFORE

steve is special, no one deserves hiM.

ma boi better be loved and appreciated in s3 or I'm throwing hands

when steve is alive again, just in time for the demo dog field trip!!, he ends up being your trip buddy i cackle its adoraBLE

keeps an arm across your front as a proteCTIVE GESTURE I AWE

when all the shit w the demo dogs is over, you show your overprotective side and ask if it hurts too much in some places on his face

“nothing a kiss wouldn't fix”

“shut uP hARRINGTON!”

“dudE THATS MY SISTER”

“may i kiss you miss henderson just for the pleasure of us both and the disgust of your little brother?”

“you may, harrington”

lmao that kiss ends up in an exaggerated make out session just to make it burn

it fails bc bruises on steves face 

it hurts a lot

it was a bad idea

you simply press your lips to every part that hurt, making sure to be gentle

bc y’all are a thing, you two become chaperones for the snowbaLL!!

*COUGH* nancy missed ouT *cough*

you start to like her tho bc she danced w dustin and he smiled so iTS COOL.

yknow how time after time and every breath you take came on in the bg for the sweet kids and they slow danced and shit??

haha september by earth, wind & fire comes on.

sure, its a bit slow dancey but you and steve do that move where peace signs move past your eyes I FORGOT WHAT ITS CALLED

y’all do a lil shimmy too i cackEL

the kids look on in horror bc y’all are basically the equivalent of grandparents grinding in the 21st century yikES

SPEAKING OF GRANDPARENTS

When the kids get to high school, you and steve carpool the kids every morning when its chilly and freezing and shit

you and steve have timetables for when the kids will have AV and shit

so you guys still wait for them outside the school

probably read some magazines on how to be a parent of 6 when eleven joins the harrington family.

parenting fails; all six kids somehow being able to be squeezed in the back of steves car

steve’s thoughts: a+ parentinG

you and steve give joyce and hopper a run for their money

speaking of my second ship, the four of you have saturday coffee mornings together at the byers’ to talk about your kids

jonathon would just think ‘wtf’????

steve would let you borrow his faberge all the time

sometimes he'd even do your hair for you

and he turns out to be pretty damn good at that too.

when you’d have a night w/o the kids, he’d take you to the movies and would pull that slick, nonchalant arm-over-shoulder move

you just snuggle more into his side

the kids are acc a few rows behind you

steve knows and so do you

y’all don't mind bc dustin eventually moves forward to take the bucket of popcorn off your hands

thats all i got for now and i hope you're as fed as me!!

[83unsungheroes]

Another week, another Sunday, another coffee.  How are ya?

Since news broke last night of another terrorist atrocity in London and other reports during the week of more suicide bombings in Iraq, it kind of feels like another post dedicated to my feelings about what’s going on is pertinent.

Coming up with what those feelings are is quite difficult.  I’m fed up of it.  I’m fed up of… I’ve been stuck at that part of the sentence for that last 15 minutes or so.  I’m fed up of the fact that people think actions that take innocent people from families is a reasonable act.  I’m pretty sure I’ve phrased that incorrectly.

I can’t fathom how driving a van in to people and stabbing those you didn’t hit is seen a reasonable advancement of a cause.  I’m fed up that I have to try to work that out.

With that in mind, some of the more irrelevant stuff that happened in my week.

I think I’m causing people a problem politically at work, simply by being there.  No-one quite seems sure whether they can give me work and whether it’s work I should be doing.  For my part, I’m just doing what I feel like and it’s quite refreshing.

I bought a film for a fantastic price.

I mentioned last week that I hadn’t been sleeping well.  Sleep is getting a bit better.  It’s not perfect but it’s OK.

I found out that Gal Gadot wasn’t in Firefly.  Apparently these are two different people:

I watched football with an Italian.  They are definitely as passionate as the stereotype!

I went for a walk and found an observatory, a duck, a coot, a wooden globe engine, a fountain, a rose garden and amazing ice cream.

Petty Annoyance Of The Week comes courtesy of DeJaneiroBoy who let me build up a Pokémon gym and then took my spot.

I got confused how I was supposed to open this packet of dried fruit to put in my porridge.  It wasn’t giving me much to go at if I used the arrow for guidance.

Timehop had a day of showing me memes.  It showed me this one.

It’s solid advice, but it just serves to remind me that you can think about it everyday and still not find a solution.

I found some love locks.

I know it’s not the best photograph.  I didn’t intend to make a great feature of it but the more I thought about it the more I thought it worth sharing.  The four brass ones all had messages inscribed to loved ones.  It was the others that caught my eye.  The two tied together, rusting, and the industrial effort to the left.  Made to last, and an interesting representation of the sentiment around the recent terrorist attacks.

What’s wrong with the world, mama People livin’ like they ain’t got no mamas I think the whole world addicted to the drama Only attracted to things that’ll bring you trauma

Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism But we still got terrorists here livin’ In the USA, the big CIA The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK

But if you only have love for your own race Then you only leave space to discriminate And to discriminate only generates hate And when you hate then you’re bound to get irate, yeah

Madness is what you demonstrate And that’s exactly how anger works and operates Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight Take control of your mind and meditate Let your soul gravitate to the love, y’all, y’all

People killin’, people dyin’ Children hurt and you hear them cryin’ Can you practice what you preach? Or would you turn the other cheek?

Father, Father, Father help us Send some guidance from above ‘Cause people got me, got me questionin’ Where is the love (Love)

Where is the love (The love) Where is the love (The love) Where is the love, the love, the love

It just ain’t the same, old ways have changed New days are strange, is the world insane? If love and peace are so strong Why are there pieces of love that don’t belong?

Nations droppin’ bombs Chemical gasses fillin’ lungs of little ones With ongoin’ sufferin’ as the youth die young So ask yourself is the lovin’ really gone

So I could ask myself really what is goin’ wrong In this world that we livin’ in people keep on givin’ in Makin’ wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends Not respectin’ each other, deny thy brother A war is goin’ on but the reason’s undercover

The truth is kept secret, it’s swept under the rug If you never know truth then you never know love Where’s the love, y’all, come on (I don’t know) Where’s the truth, y’all, come on (I don’t know) Where’s the love, y’all

People killin’, people dyin’ Children hurt and you hear them cryin’ Can you practice what you preach? Or would you turn the other cheek?

Father, Father, Father help us Send some guidance from above ‘Cause people got me, got me questionin’ Where is the love (Love)

Where is the love (The love)? Where is the love (The love)? Where is the love (The love)? Where is the love (The love)? Where is the love (The love)? Where is the love (The love)? Where is the love, the love, the love?

I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder As I’m gettin’ older, y’all, people gets colder Most of us only care about money makin’ Selfishness got us followin’ the wrong direction

Wrong information always shown by the media Negative images is the main criteria Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria Kids wanna act like what they see in the cinema

Yo’, whatever happened to the values of humanity Whatever happened to the fairness and equality Instead of spreading love we’re spreading animosity Lack of understanding, leading us away from unity

That’s the reason why sometimes I’m feelin’ under That’s the reason why sometimes I’m feelin’ down There’s no wonder why sometimes I’m feelin’ under Gotta keep my faith alive ’til love is found Now ask yourself

Where is the love? Where is the love? Where is the love? Where is the love?

Father, Father, Father, help us Send some guidance from above ‘Cause people got me, got me questionin’ Where is the love?

Sing with me y’all: One world, one world (We only got) One world, one world (That’s all we got) One world, one world And something’s wrong with it (Yeah) Something’s wrong with it (Yeah) Something’s wrong with the wo-wo-world, yeah We only got (One world, one world) That’s all we got (One world, one world)

Where Is The Love  by Black Eyes Peas

    The Wooden Globe Engine Coffee Share Another week, another Sunday, another coffee.  How are ya? Since news broke last night of another terrorist atrocity in London and other reports during the week of more suicide bombings in Iraq, it kind of feels like another post dedicated to my feelings about what's going on is pertinent.

[f0rgetmet00]

OK this post is a lot and really long but please read it this is hard to get off my chest but i need some help from y’all so bare with me and please let me know what you think it would mean so much

Falling in love and falling for someone else while you're in love is a very scary thing( you know that person you have had a crush on forever and you feel like that's never going to go away) well that person just came back into my life and he is single... his mom sent him away for a while cuz she is really uptight and now he is back and I'm in love with someone else a guy I've been dating for 9 months and on the day of my nine months my old crush came back and the last time i saw him was a year ago and  he was in a relationship with a girl and they had been together for about a year (and she was younger then him and just so awful and mean) and i was single at the time now I'm in a relationship i leave for university in about 3 months which is 5.5 hours away from where I'm currently living and things with my current boyfriend have been tough lately when i made the choice to go far away for school ( which by the way was the opportunity of i lifetime i have a lacrosse scholarship) he almost broke up with me over it and i was so heart broken(this is before my crush/ best friend came back) also in my grade 12 year i have come to learn that you need to keep the right people close and just leave the rest cuz its not worth your time. so my boyfriend and i have been going trough some stuff( i already used that phrase but whatever) and he just get so upset and is so mean and says really hurtful things and i just feel so awful( i have always been the person who has no problem speaking their mind and saying what they are thinking but he scares me alot) ( ok you should also know that my bf and i work together all summer at a camp which i think is part of the reason im still with him) so my mom always said sometimes an old friend or someone who really cares about you needs to come back into your life for you to be reminded of what you are worth so my crush came back and was in one of my classes ( and you should know that he is just a flirty and sweet person by nature gf or not)  so he came back and i was so happy i had really missed the laughs  and the person i was when i was around him which to me is the most unfiltered version of myself (which is who i want to be all the time) ( and i am not that person around my bf im his bf that's the version of me i act like and i hate that so much) so he was back for about a week and i just was in such a good mood all the time i felt good about myself i smiled more i just was oozing (gross word sorry) confidence our every pore in my body and i believe that is because he is back and he makes me laugh and all in all is such a fun person to be around. So now it scares me alot cuz i love my crush to bits in like the caring way but idk if i am developing feelings in other ways too and idk what to do about my bf cuz i care about him alot but im just fed up!