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allthingskakashi · 4 years ago

Text

• Bells and Balls •

[ Kakashi x Reader ]

Tags : NSFW, Smut

Words : 4.8k

A/n: I wrote over 4k words just to get some dick.

Okay sbsbajash idk I'd been working on this for like a whole week and i couldn't concentrate on anything unless i finished this lmao so here it is whatever, I can't drag this around anymore. Uhhh hope you like it I'm still not very good at writing smut im sorry. This takes place in the post Anbu and pre team 7 era and Kakashi’s a bit of an asshole but you know you still love him. This is also a little similar to my other fic ‘Yearning’ but here you get the s e x and i’m sorry if the characterization is bad, i put more focus on making it hot i guess ok ill shut up now i hope you like it

You give the sheet of paper in your hand one final glance, and look around the room. There’s a long line behind you and you’re surrounded by your fellow jounins, each here to submit their respective lists.

You were extremely happy with the performance of your team and didn’t have to think twice before passing them. You had no doubt that they would make wonderful shinobi. You looked forward to teaching and guiding them, and judging by the chatter around you, most other jounins had passed their teams too.

The trouble, however, remains with Kakashi Hatake.

A few weeks ago, you had all been named squad leaders and put in charge of a squad, and today was your very first day with your assigned teams. As instructed, each of you conducted a test for the genin and depending upon whether they passed or failed, the final list would be announced.

No one till date had ever passed Kakashi Hatake's infamous test, and everyone was sure that no one would this year either. Most genin trembled in fear of him, being aware of his strict methods.

And as it happens, at this moment, this infamous man is right in front you, standing with his back hunched forward as he hands his paper in to the woman behind the desk.

You wait for your turn, your eyes fixating on the red symbol on his vest as you wonder, ruefully, about the fate of the students he must have failed this time.

You take a step forward as he turns around, having submitted his paper, and the line moves up behind you.

Kakashi peeks briefly at your paper as he passes, letting out an audible scoff at the list in your hand before walking on ahead, hands tucked in his pockets.

You’re momentarily confused by this sudden act, but something is already starting to boil up inside you. You aren’t exactly known for being placid, nor for sitting by and allowing people to give you crap. Your eyebrows furrow as you hastily thrust your sheet onto the desk, before making your way to follow after him.

“Do you have a problem?” you call to his back as a few heads turn towards you.

He stops, taking his time turning back to look at you, half lidded eyes looking as indifferent as always.

His demeanour pushes you further to the edge and you take a few steps closer, craning your neck to meet his eyes, waiting for an answer.

“Well?”

He peers down at you unfazed, completely oblivious to the audience around you, as if they are not even there.

“You’re too soft”, he shrugs. “You don’t know how the shinobi world works” he says bluntly, piercing you with his unwavering gaze.

You glare back at him, your mouth twitching with the sled of retorts forming at the back of your tongue.

“Who gave you the right to—"

But he’s already turning away from you, your eyes meeting with the red symbol of his vest once again.

“Hey don’t you fucking walk away from me!” you yell, going forward to stop him, but he saunters on ahead without turning back; his scent lingering in the air as you stand there, watching his figure disappear slowly along the hallway, your fury seething inside you.

Who the fuck does he think he is?

--------------------------------------------------

“Thank you! This is just what I needed.” you chime, digging into the hot bowl of ramen in front of you, your mouth salivating just at the look of it.

You take a big mouthful, revelling in the immediate burst of flavours on your tongue.

“Mmmm.” You moan, “You’ve outdone yourself, Ayame!”

The young girl smiles at you in delight, proceeding to serve you another helping.

You take another blissful bite, closing your eyes to relish the moment.

The streets are quiet around you except for the faint chirp of crickets, as is expected at this hour of the night. It must be past midnight by now, you’re not exactly sure.

You had been tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep. For some reason, the encounter with Kakashi from earlier today had you feeling bitter and edgy. You hated that he was in your head, you didn’t understand why. It wasn’t like you to be this bothered by some mindless comments from someone. You’d had altercations before, worse ones, but they were never enough to steal away your night’s sleep.

And yet, this time…

You had to do something to take the edge off, ideally punch him in the face, but since that was not the plausible choice, you settled for the next best thing. Going for a run and treating yourself to your favourite comfort food later.

So here you are now, out at night all by yourself. The Ichiraku shop was still open, bless the lords.

You slurp some of the soup from the bowl and let out a loud smack of your lips.

You can feel your spirits lifting, and you’re glad for it. He wasn’t in your head after all, you were just having a bad day, that’s all.

You shift your focus back to the bowl in front of you, moaning and slurping as you go.

“Whoa there, Get a room.”

The sudden interruption of the familiar voice makes you stop cold.

Are you fucking kidding me?

You look up from your bowl, turning your head around to see none other than Kakashi Hatake, standing smug in all his glory.

The strange pang of bitterness is back in the depths of your stomach and you resist the urge to punch that smug look off his face.

“Ah, if it isn’t Kakashi Hatake, the all-knowing wisenheimer.” you say, your tone snide. “Say, don’t you have somewhere else to be? Some genin to fail?”

He comes around to take a seat on the stool beside you, a smirk evident through his mask, almost as if he’s enjoying this.

“I’ve already failed them” he smiles sweetly at you. “Worked up quite an appetite too.” He says, looking away from you to place his order.

You notice as Ayame notes his order down, the distinct shade of pink that tinges her cheeks as does, before turning away and disappearing into the supplies room at the back of the shop.

Ugh. What is with this guy? Why is it so….

You don’t realise you’re staring at him until he looks back at you, raising a questioning eyebrow. You supress your startlement at being caught, pretending as if you’d meant to be glaring at him.

“What the hell are you even doing out here so late?” you spurt, trying to sound irritated but it comes out sounding almost…concerned?

Thankfully, he doesn’t notice. “I could ask you the same.”

You look away, unwilling to answer. You were out here to get him out of your head, and now here you are, sitting beside him in a ramen shop while the entire village sleeps.

It almost feels like you’re the only two people in the world. The feeling makes something churn inside your stomach.

You dab your mouth with your napkin, before swivelling on the stool to face him. You look at him intently, studying his features. He stares back at you, as if waiting for you to say something.

“Why?” you ask, catching him off guard with it.

“Why what?”

“Why does no one pass your test? What’s so difficult about it?” you ask, gaze fixated on him. You expect him to look uncomfortable but he just shrugs.

“Why do you want to know?”

“I’m curious” you reply truthfully, watching him smirk at your answer.

You hate it when he smirks, how his face looks when he’s being cocky.

Ugh.

He swivels in his chair now, turning his body towards you. “Is that so?”, he says through the smirk, resting his elbow on the counter and leaning in.

You don’t know why, but something about his tone and the way he leans in makes it difficult for you to breathe all of a sudden.

But you’re not one to be fazed.

“Yes” you reply, refusing to let yourself crumple under his gaze. Your voice comes out sounding hoarse, and you clear your throat.

He smirks wider at your reply and stretches the next words out.

“If you’re so curious…Why don’t you find out for yourself?”

Your heart thuds like clapper clanging against a bell. You resist the urge to gulp.

Was it this hot when I left the house?

You clear your throat again. “I don’t have the time to take part in your stupid games”

The smirk is adamant on his lips, his gaze unnerving.

He breathes, “Do you not have the time…or do you not have the balls?”

His tone is challenging. Or inviting. Or both, you’re not really sure, you’re not thinking straight anymore.

Your jacket is too hot against your skin, you writhe beneath the thick material.

Sliding off the stool, you walk slowly towards him, erasing the space in between you bit by bit with each step, until your bodies are a few inches away from touching. Your eyes bore into each other’s as if in silent battle. It’s your turn to smirk now.

“Training Grounds in 20 mins” you whisper. Despite the hitch in your breath, your voice is clear. “Don’t be late.”

You walk past him without breaking your gaze, brushing your shoulder against his arm as you walk by, perhaps a little harder than necessary, leaving Kakashi to stare after you.

--------------------------------------------------

You sit on the damp grass with your back against a tree, waiting. Your jacket lies in a puddle beside you.

You count the weapons in your bag, you hadn’t exactly come out prepared for a fight tonight. Two kunai knives, that’s all.

Would that be enough to take down the copy ninja? You hope so. There’s no way you’re letting him win. It’s time someone taught him a lesson and you would love to be that someone. The nerve of him…to actually challenge you.

He really needs to get a life. But then, here you are too…

Why am I here? What am I even doing?

You close your eyes and tilt your head back against the hard bark, your eyebrows furrowing the way they always do when you’re deep in thought.

Back at the shop… the way he spoke…the look in his eyes— God, Stop. Stop it.

Who the fuck cares about the look in his eyes?

Not me.

It’s okay. I’m good.

We’re here to teach this asshole a lesson. An asshole, that’s what he is. Insufferable and stupid and smug and ridiculously ho— horrible. Ridiculously horrible.

You take a deep breath, opening your eyes and standing up so fast that it makes your head dizzy for a brief second. You start walking around, jerking your arms and legs, stretching your neck, even slapping yourself a few times on the face to make yourself focus.

Yes, I need to focus. The lack of sleep is getting to me.

You crouch down to tighten your shoelaces, before getting up and starting some stretching exercises. Gotta loosen the muscles, make sure you have full flexibility. After all, taking on Kakashi Hatake all by yourself is probably not going to be a piece of cake.

You look down to check your attire: running shorts and a tank top, not fully ideal but it’ll do.

You’re bent over, in the midst of doing rotating toe touches when your eyes fall upon a silhouette far ahead, nearing closer and closer. You pause, standing up straight with your hands on your hips as the figure walks slowly towards you, a faint jingling noise ringing through the air, as Kakashi finally comes near enough for you to make out his face in the dim light.

“Late as always” you say, crossing your arms over your chest.

Kakashi stands a few feet away from you, holding something in one hand, other hand inside his pocket. He’s not wearing his jacket anymore either, you observe.

“Sorry, had to go get this” he says, holding up what looks like two small bells with strings attached.

You squint at it, coming closer to get a better look. “What the hell is that?”

“Bells”, he smiles. “That’s the test. You have to get these bells from me. You can use any attack you want but… since you’re not a genin, I’ll raise the stakes a little higher for you. You cannot use ninjutsu or genjustu. It has to be purely physical attacks. You have till dawn.”

This little fucker. He knows taijutsu is not my strong point.

But fine. If that’s how he wants to play this, so be it. I’m taking him down one way or another.

“Dawn?” you chuckle, fixing him with your gaze. “I don’t need till dawn” you sneer, coming forward with a kick aimed to his head. He blocks it just as you’re about to make contact, grasping your ankle in his strong hold.

“I didn’t say start yet” he says through a smirk, letting go of your foot.

You take a few steps backwards, glowering at him as he ties the bells to a loop on his trousers. They hang over his thighs with a jingle, silver metal glimmering in the moonlight.

He looks back up at you, eyes twinkling with an unusual sparkle.

There’s that look again…

“Go” he commands, his body tensing up into a defensive stance immediately, ready for you.

You fix your gaze on the shiny metal of your goal and hurl yourself forward, your arms meeting each other’s in blows and defences. You throw a few kicks to his stomach, making him tumble but not enough to knock him out.

You shift your stance, before directing another punch to his face; he deflects it, sniggering.

Okay okay okay, I’m not focusing. I need to focus.

You take a deep breath.

Kakashi stands waiting, his features emanating pure amusement.

You feel a restlessness brewing within you, a strange energy buzzing through your veins. You’d been itching to punch him in the face and now’s your chance.

You watch him, mentally calculating all your options. His silver hair shines like moonbeams in the dark.

FOCUS.

Drawing a kunai from your bag, you lunge forward, distracting him with a kick to the head as your kunai slashes through the air, just about to cut across the strings when— your hand is caught in his grasp, a ‘slap!’ cutting through the air as his palm clasps around your wrist.

He bores into you, your wrist held firmly in his hand as he turns you around swiftly, gripping both your wrists at the back.

You feel the muscles of his chest against your body as he comes closer, the metal bells hanging over his leg brushing against your fingertips behind you.

You wriggle your hands, trying to break free but it’s in vain. His grip is firm, slender fingers digging into your skin as he leans into your ears, his warm breath tickling your skin.

“Not so fast” he whispers, his lips almost brushing the top of your ears.

The words send a shudder through your spine. You feel the black sky closing in on you, there’s a hum springing through your veins.

He loosens his grip as your hands fall, the kunai held limply in your hand. You turn around, your heart skipping a beat at how close he is to you. You feel your resolve weakening.

No.

Stop.

Your hand flies to the collar of his shirt, the other hand holding the kunai to his throat as you push him backwards with your body, your eyes blazing into his.

Keeping the kunai at his throat, you lower your other hand slowly, brushing it down his chest, his muscles taut under your hand. You trail your hand down along the line of his sternum, down the firmness of his stomach and further down, your fingers lightly caressing the bulge of his trousers before they almost make contact with the bells alongside, right there, just a flick away—

so close—

Before your wrist is caught in a sudden, fast clutch again.

His grip is much stronger this time, unyielding, hungry. Your bones ache beneath his hold.

You watch something ignite in his eyes as his shoulders rise and fall in rhythm to your heaves. You suddenly realise how out of breath you are.

In the flash of a moment, Kakashi grips your kunai holding hand, holding it away from his throat as he pushes you, the weight of his body pressing onto yours as your feet scrape along the ground, stumbling backwards till your back slams against a tree, the force making your body jolt. The kunai slips from your hand.

His arms pin you defenceless against the tree, his gaze holding you hostage, burning through your skin.

The touch of his skin against yours feels alien. When was the last time you felt the warmth of someone’s skin? You cannot recall.

He’s so close to you, you cannot see anything beyond him.

In the dark, under the moonlight, the edges of his face look softened.

A wind passes by, the sound of rustling leaves filling through the silence. A volcano erupts within you.

Now.

You gulp. Up this close, you can make out the outline of his mouth.

Now.

Your lips press into Kakashi’s in a desperate lurch, your neck straining to meet him as far as his grip on you allows. Your heart explodes like firecrackers inside your chest as your tongue pushes against the cloth of his mask, demanding to be let in.

You feel his grip loosen around your wrists as the mask is off and he reciprocates, his lips on yours, his hand gripping your chin up as his tongue moves in fervent swirls inside your mouth.

A thousand questions swarm inside your head, buzzing but you’re not being controlled by your head anymore. You can feel the thud of his chest against your own.

He trails his hand down to your throat, holding you in place, other hand exploring every edge and curve of your body before it snakes down the waistband of your shorts, down the elastic of your underwear.

You gasp, arching your back as you feel the touch of his long fingers down there, moaning helplessly into his mouth as he rubs along your wet entrance in rapid strokes.

Your head is a dizzy mess of jumbled emotions as yearning overpowers your senses, your previous resolve weakening into a mushy puddle with every stroke and thrum of his fingers inside you.

He pulls away from your mouth to leave sloppy kisses down your neck, his tongue painting patterns along your skin as you catch a glimpse of his face and you see it— his face, glowing under the moonlight. And you realise.

He’s…beautiful.

An overwhelming ache breaks through your senses, creating a frenzied whirlwind of passion and agony in your mind. Your detestation for him crumbles into pieces underneath the weight of your desire, as you realise…

You don’t hate him.

You never did.

Not even close.

Not even a little bit.

Not even at all.

You pull his face up to meet your lips again, planting urgent kisses on his mouth as your hands tease the hem of his shirt. His fingers slip out of you and you can feel the wetness of your panties, soaked through with arousal.

“Kakashi…” you whisper in pleasure as he looms over you, your foreheads touching, out of breath and heaving with exhilaration. His eyes burn with the same passion that you feel inside.

“We can’t…shouldn’t…here…people...” you mutter in struggled breaths, as he plants another kiss to your lips, the sparks from it fogging your mind

“Since when do you care about people?” he whispers against your ear, his raspy voice enough to strip you off of all your remaining sense and judgement.

You pull his shirt over his head in one swift motion, throwing it to the ground beside as he follows, taking off your shirt and then unhooking your bra, tossing both away as his hands reach for you in hungry clutches.

His hands caress your breasts, pressing them and pulling on your hardened nipples, his mouth following soon after. His lips lock around them, sucking hard as you bury your face into his broad shoulders, biting lightly to keep yourself from screaming.

You sink your fingers into his hair, tugging softly as his mouth moves in a wet trail further down your body, strands of his hair tickling your stomach as he goes, his hands tugging your panties, sliding them down the curves of your hips.

Your heart thuds in your ears as Kakashi sits crouching in front of you, parting your legs. He looks up at you, as if asking for your permission, and you give it to him by pulling the back of his head closer between your legs.

He puts your right leg over his shoulder, spreading you for him, his other hand clutching the back of your left thigh as his mouth teases you down there.

The tip of his tongue flicks at your entrance, before it finds your weakest spot, and you feel your body shuddering, barely able to keep your balance.

You tug at his hair harder as his tongue moves skilfully inside you, fingers rubbing your swollen clit simultaneously. You feel every nerve ending in your body come alive as you moan out his name “K-Kakashi…” through trembling lips.

Your insides shudder and a deep moan forms at the back of your throat, threatening to escape as Kakashi puts his hand over your mouth, before pulling you down on top of him with a sudden tug.

You come down with a thud on his thighs, your body jolting with the force as you watch him in front of you, the copy ninja… bare bodied and heaving in front of your eyes.

Who would have thought…

You straddle him, admiring his unclad torso, before pushing his shoulders down with your hands, making him lie back on the grass as you stoop over him. His eyes are fixated on you, pure pleasure making itself known on his face.

He really is beautiful.

You bend forward, your mouth exploring the smoothness of the skin on his chest, as a strange cold feeling down there distracts you.

You look down, squinting in the dark to find yourself sitting on two glimmering metal balls placed over his thigh.

The bells.

A thrill runs through your nerves as you smirk, glancing up at him.

He’s noticed it too.

His eyes return the same sparkle of mischief as yours as he lies still, waiting.

You press your hands down on his chest, locking your gaze with his as you position yourself over the bells, tilting your head back as you move back and forth over them.

The cold metal of the bells rubs against you, sending tremors through your entire body.

Your gaze at Kakashi again, watching him squirm at the sight of you, his hands twitching to feel your skin.

You keep your eyes on him as you slide down slightly on his thigh, tugging his trousers down as you go. Your hands find the base of his cock as you allow yourself to admire his throbbing length.

He leans his head back on the grass and you feel him getting harder in your hands.

Forming your hand into a fist around him, you move it up and down along his shaft in slow steady strokes, leaning down to bring your mouth closer to his tip, before swirling your tongue in circles around his skin.

His hips tremble as he clutches onto the grass, writhing.

Your lips clasp around his cock, mouth slurping up and down his length, taking your time sliding down to the base and back up, your hands following suit.

You tease him, switching between the tip of your tongue and your whole mouth, sending sparks of pleasure shooting through him.

He quivers and you sit back up, bending forward over his face and pressing your lips on his. A groan from his mouth erupts inside yours as he clutches your hips.

His hands guide your hips back and forth over his length, your lips trembling as he slips into you, his cock finally inside you, pushing into you, filling you as deep as you can be filled.

A new rush of pleasure burns through your senses, your insides stretching as you move your hips around him, back and forth and then in circles.

“A-a-ah...mm…yeah…”, your muffled moans cut through the depths of the forest in the silence of the night.

Kakashi breathes your name, the eruption of your name from his lips enough to send you to a frenzy, filling your heart with drunken fervour.

You moan his name back in reply, hopping up and down on him as his arm snakes behind your waist and he flips you over in a sudden, swift movement, the weight of his body falling over you now.

You arch your back, pushing your hips up to meet his, unwilling to break away even for a second.

You want him so, so bad.

The pointy peaks of grass underneath poke your skin, your nails digging into his back as he nibbles on your neck, thrusting deep, deep into you.

You feel the familiar shudder from earlier again, your mind getting clouded with waves of pleasure coursing through you. Kakashi’s grunts quaver in your ear as you feel his hips jerk in tune to yours.

There’s a tantalizing jolt of ecstasy through your body as you scream out, your quivering voice matching his grunts as you both put a hand over the other’s mouth, your muffled moans melting into each other’s skin. He quivers inside you for a final time before you feel him slipping out of you, as hot wet cum trickles along the insides of your thighs, dripping into the dewy grass beneath.

Droplets of sweat from his hair drips down on you, tasting salty in your mouth. You heave together in exhaustion as he plops down on you, before rolling to the side.

You lie on your back panting, your entire body damp with sweat.

Languor threatens to take over you as you struggle to keep your eyes open, looking up into the night sky.

You see a firefly glowing above your head. You lift a lazy hand to reach it, but it flies away far above, becoming one with the twinkling stars in the sky.

Soft sounds of Kakashi’s breath echo beside you, his foot still touching yours lightly as the both of you lie heaving under the stars.

He turns his head to look at you and you can feel his eyes on you as you try, with all the fibres in your body, to not look back at him.

You know you won’t be able to hold yourself together any longer if you do.

He extends a hand towards you. “That was…”

“Sshhh… Shut up” you say in a slumberous whisper, moving closer into his arm, putting your own around him, your head buried into chest as you feel your eyes getting heavy…not able to stay awake anymore. You feel Kakashi envelope you in his arms, the warmth from his skin against the cold air lulling you to sleep, your mind becoming foggy as you close your eyes, slowly drifting off somewhere far, far away…

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Your eyes open to the chirping of birds perched on the branches above, rays of morning light casting a rosy glow in the horizon.

You watch the half light in the distance, rubbing your eyes, smiling to yourself.

The night had taken with it the black clouds of denial fogging your mind, your heart is as clear as day now.

You turn your head just in time to see Kakashi opening his eyes, his eyes puffy, imprints of grass marking his soft cheek.

You smile at him as he looks at you, lips curled into a sleepy smile. “Good morning” he yawns, tapping over his mouth with his palm.

“I won.”

“Hmm?” he asks groggily, eyes still adjusting to the light.

You hold up the two small bells in front of him, they jingle over his face.

He chuckles. “I don’t think so. It’s past dawn”

“I took them off before. I won.”

He laughs again, his face lighting up in a way you’d never seen before. He looks even more beautiful in the daylight.

“In all fairness y/n, there are no losers here.”

You laugh along with him now, reaching across and smoothening the imprints on his cheek, keeping your hand there, cupping his cheek.

“So, I passed?” you ask, looking at him, inching closer.

He looks back at you, with the same look from earlier in his eyes.

But you’re not turning yourself blind to it anymore.

“Top of the class” he laughs, pulling you closer, nuzzling your nose with his before pressing his lips into yours.

Notes :-

Did I quote 10 Things I Hate About You on a Kakashi Smut?

Yes, yes i did.

#kakashi #kakashi fanfiction #kakashi x reader #kakashi smut #kakashi x reader smut #naruto #naruto fanfiction #naruto x reader #kakashi fanfic #kakashi x reader fluff

3K notes · View notes

hearts-hunger · 4 years ago

Text

sunday morning || frankie morales x reader

Read on AO3 | Masterlist

Summary: You partied a little too hard with the boys last night; lucky for you, you married a man who’s really good at taking care of you while you’re hungover.

Pairings: Frankie “Catfish” Morales x Wife!Reader

Genre: Fluff, pure fluff. Big dork energy Frankie.

Word Count: 1.8k (short but sweet)

Warnings: Nothing serious, but just to be safe: mentions of alcohol/getting drunk, hangovers, and related side effects; allusions to PTSD

A/N: Y’all remember that post where I said I thought Frankie would be really good at taking care of you while you’re hungover? Well, I couldn’t get it out of my head, so I wrote a fic about it :) let me know what you think! ♡

“Rise and shine, pretty girl.”

You rolled away from the sound of Frankie’s voice and buried your face in a pillow, unconvinced by even his gravelly drawl that waking would be preferable to sleeping. Your stomach was rocky, your mouth was almost concerningly dry, and there wasn’t a place on your body that didn’t ache like you’d been run over by a truck. You gave an unsociable grunt when he put a warm hand on your arm.

“My poor baby,” he said sincerely, running his hand up and down your arm to soothe you. “That tequila doesn’t agree with you as much the morning after, huh?”

You huffed. “No kidding.”

You’d had the boys over last night for dinner, which had turned into rummaging through the liquor cabinet, which had turned into you and Santi trying to drink each other under the table. You weren’t sure who’d won, but if your headache was any indication, you’d given it the good old college try.

“How are you awake right now?” you asked. If you remembered correctly, Frankie and Ben had polished off the bottle of Jack Daniels while Will had a few beers and watched you all descend into idiocy.

Frankie hummed in agreement. “My body’s conditioned for superior performance.”

You snorted; he gave a pleased chuckle and put his arm around you, pulling you back against his chest.

“Come on and have breakfast, at least,” he said.

You groaned. “No way. I’m gonna yack.”

He pulled back a little at that, but knowing him, he wasn’t trying to get away from you - he was just getting prepared to haul you to the bathroom.

“Are you?” he asked. “Or are you just being grumpy?”

“I... haven’t decided.”

He huffed a laugh. “Fine. But you’ll feel better if you eat something, or at least have some water.”

You rolled over to face him and tangled your legs together in the blankets, nosing against his scruffy jaw. He kissed you, chastely, in the exact way of a man trying not to get roped into morning sex with his super-hungover wife.

“Come on,” you said, though you couldn’t decide whether you wanted him to get more passionate or not, given that every movement made you ache like you were eighty years old.

“You just said a second ago you were gonna lose your lunch,” he pointed out.

You buried your face against his chest. “Yeah.”

He rubbed your back, his big hand going slowly over the places he knew you held the most tension. “I’ll make you a deal. You come have something to eat, and I’ll take a shower with you, ok?”

You considered that. “Will you wash my hair for me?”

“Sure,” he said, and you could hear the smile in his voice.

You stayed snuggled up against him for a few more minutes, and he went through his little routine he usually did at night, brushing his fingers through your hair and scratching gently up and down your back while he hummed old 70’s love songs.

“I’m gonna go get started on breakfast,” he said finally, pressing a kiss to your head and gently disentangling himself from you. “There’s Tylenol and water on the nightstand. And if you’re not out when breakfast is done, I’ll toss you over my shoulder and haul you out there myself.”

“Romantic,” you said wryly.

He grinned down at you. “Yeah. Lucky you.”

You tipped your face up for one more kiss, and he obliged you. He gave your thigh a firm pat before he left.

“I want bacon!” you called.

You could just imagine him rolling his eyes. “Sí, claro, claro.”

You took your time getting out of bed; it was chilly in your small house that rainy morning, and you rummaged around in Frankie’s shirt drawer for that soft, well-worn overshirt you borrowed from time to time. You took the medicine he’d left out for you and made your way to the kitchen - you noticed with a wash of gratitude that he’d tidied up after the mess you all made last night - following the sound of Bob Seger and the smell of breakfast.

Frankie was dancing and singing to himself as he cooked, using his spatula as a microphone to belt out “come back baby, rock ‘n roll never forgets!”. He was truly a horrible dancer, but he was so cute, and he sure did look good in those jeans as he swayed his hips to the beat. You smiled to yourself and enjoyed watching him for a minute before you came up behind him and put your arms around his waist, dancing with him.

“Hey there, mama,” he said, as sensually as someone could with a strip of bacon in their mouth. He turned to face you and fed you the other half of his bacon, still singing about rock ‘n roll.

“You took your medicine?” he asked.

You nodded. “And now I want coffee. Please.”

He grinned. “Demanding little thing, aren’t you?” You let him go so he could dance his way over to the coffee pot; you laughed, and he smiled at you like you’d hung the moon.

When you had your coffee in hand, you tried and failed to boost yourself up on the counter opposite the stove. Well, you didn’t really try so much as envision trying, and you knew you were way too sore for that.

“What’s wrong?” Frankie asked, seeing the disgruntled look on your face.

“I can’t get up on the counter.”

He looked amused. “Do you want some help?” Without waiting for an answer, he picked you up at the waist and sat you on the counter like it was nothing.

“You’re so sexy,” you said dreamily, leaning close for a kiss. He put his hands on the counter on either side of you and stood between your knees, spatula still in one hand, and kissed you like you’d wanted him to earlier.

“Where was all this passion and zest for your wife when we were in bed?” you teased.

He smiled against your mouth. “I was trying to think of some incentive for you to get up and have one of my amazing, world-famous omelets,” he said. “That, and you hadn’t brushed your teeth yet.”

You gave him a playful shove. “Frankie!”

He laughed. “I’m sorry, baby, but I would have gotten drunk on the taste of tequila alone if I kissed you much longer.” He mollified you with several more kisses, and before long, he’d earned your forgiveness.

“How’s your omelet coming?” you asked, a little dazedly.

“Oh, shit!” He swung around with comic speed to rescue the omelet on the stove.

“Crisis averted,” he said, sliding it onto a plate. “But I’ll give you the next one, because this one did get a little toasty.”

When both omelets were made, you stayed up on the counter and he stood beside you while you had breakfast together. You had spent countless Sunday mornings like this before, and you didn’t think you would ever tire of it. You were, thankfully, able to enjoy it despite your hangover; he had been right, earlier, and you were starting to feel better now that you’d eaten and the medicine was starting to kick in.

“You sure do love me, huh?” you asked.

His smile was a little bemused. “Yeah, of course I do.”

You reached out to brush his curls back; he hadn’t put on his ball cap yet, and his hair was still fluffy and a little bit mussed, just like you liked it.

“Thank you for taking good care of me,” you said.

He turned his head and kissed your wrist. “I love you, Mrs. Morales.”

You smiled, feeling the same warmth you did every time he called you that. “I love you too.”

Frankie filled the dishwasher while you got the shower ready, and you went ahead and got in while you waited for him. He laughed when you peeked your head out as he was undressing, covering himself in an endearing bit of modesty.

“Don’t ogle me like that,” he laughed, his cheeks pinking a little.

You grinned. “Fine.” You let him undress in peace. “But I’m ogling you as soon as you get in.”

You didn’t have to wait long, and all of his shyness was gone as he stepped under the warm spray and scrubbed a hand through his hair. Like he always did, he’d kept on the macrame bracelet Santi had given him years ago, and you found it alluring that the little band of string bound tight around his wrist was the only scrap of fabric on him.

“Come here,” he said, soaping his hands up with your shampoo. “Let’s get all those tangles out of your pretty hair.”

You stood in front of him while he washed your hair, closing your eyes and enjoying the feel of his fingers as he worked through the tangles from the night before. He was gentle and dutiful, and you had the thought, as you often did, that you were lucky beyond measure to have someone you could be so vulnerable with who treated you with such care.

He put his hands on either side of your head and kissed you slowly. “You’re so beautiful.”

You opened your eyes to see him watching you with incredible tenderness, and you would have blushed if it hadn’t been so warm in the shower.

“You are too,” you said, meaning it.

You reached your hand up to trace his features softened with love and peace, so different than they had been when you met. Back then he had still been rough from his last tour, only a few months home after a year serving in some place you still didn’t know the name of. He was as kind then as he was now, but he was hurt and weary and used to the weight of the world on his shoulders. That haunted look had come back for a while after Colombia, but you knew him, and you knew what it looked like when he started to heal.

“I like it when you sing Bob Seger,” you said, your voice a little tight. “And I like it when you dance around our kitchen.”

He smiled with all the warmth and affection in the world. “Don’t worry, pretty girl,” he said, knowing what you meant. “You’ve got a whole lifetime to watch me make a fool of myself trying to dance and carry a tune.”

You leaned into his touch and let him kiss you, following his gentle pull to draw you close to him.

“I love you, Frankie,” you said. Tucked close to him, held safely in his arms, you felt more at home than you had anywhere else before you met him.

He gave a contented sigh, like every hurt and every care had been lifted from him. “Mi cariño, mi amor,” he said gently, like he always did. “I love you too.”

taglist: @punkgeekchic, @tv-saved-the-teenage-girl

let me know if you want to be added to my pedro pascal character taglist!

#let me know what you think! i think it's pretty cute <3 #frankie morales x reader #frankie catfish morales #triple frontier #pedro pascal #frankie morales fluff #catfish morales #maddie writes stuff!#frankie morales fanfiction #frankie morales x reader fluff

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gb-patch · 4 years ago

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Ask Answers (February 22nd, 2021)

Hello! Here’s another collection of anon ask answers all put together in one big post.

This might be strange considering how upbeat yall are about the fandoms for your games in general, but is there any particular trope or ship you WOULDN'T want us writing/drawing/etc. in relation to your stuff? (IE, any canon you don't want us 'overwriting' or something like that?)

Of course we would want the fan content people make to not be racist, sexist, homophobic, bigoted, harmful, etc. But in terms of generally doing non-canon pairings or adding in headcanons or stuff, we really don’t mind that. People are welcome to have fun and explore their own ideas.

for the 1.2 Android update was it meant to download as a separate app? I really want to keep my previous save files but they don't show up (also thank u for the updates I'm really excited to get back into the game!!)

We had to change the name of the file and unfortunately for some phones that meant it’s treated as a brand new game. I’m sorry your saves didn’t transfer over to the new version. You can try to look up your specific phone and see if there’s a way to access save files for games on your device and then transfer those saves over to the new build manually. It may or may not be possible.

I'm having some trouble figuring out how to get the update from Itichio without losing my save files? Is it the same game or a folder I can put in the properties? Sorry if this question is not worded well or if this isn't the avenue you'd want to take technical questions on

Are you using Android? If so, the above answer may apply to you. If you’re on PC or Mac, the save files will automatically still be included.

Hey. I really loved playing our life. It was a fun experience and I never thought I would like it this much. I do have a question, I am currently replaying the game and I am choosing choices I never chose at first. In step 2 during the road trip arc, I decided to ask Cove about what he liked to see on people. One of his response was anklets and black eyes. My MC have just happens to have black eyes. Do Cove say black eyes cuz my mc have it or it was just a coincidently programmed into the game?

He uses your eye color intentionally! If you changed your eye color he’d change what he said.

Will step 4 have 10 moments like steps 1-3?

Step 4 is only an epilogue. It plays like the openings/endings of the earlier Steps where it’s a bunch of scenes all in a row, there aren’t any individual Moments.

hi! who was/were the artist(s) for our life?

who is the artist for Our Life: Beginning and Always?

Main Sprite and CG Artist: Addrossi

Main Background Artist: Vui Huynh

Main Interface Artist: Winter Slice

Other artists who helped out can be seen in the credits of the game.

In the new ol, there are two main love interests... Would it be possible to pair them together or is that weird?

You can’t stay single and pair them together. If we are going to add all the extra content to have a route where the two LIs get together, it’d be a full poly route where them and the MC were all dating. And that’s not a for sure option yet because it’d add a lot of extra complications. But either way, in OL the relationships all gotta be about the MC, haha.

In OL2, there will be extra LIs in form of DLCs? Like Dexter and Baxter.

Maybe! We’ll see how it goes.

Since Cove will have 2 diff body types in s4, will the storyline and dialogs reflect this? Or all of it will be the same? Btw love the game and sorry for bad english. Hope this doesn't sound rude 😅

Some descriptions and pieces of dialog will change, but it won’t impact the story really. And you don’t need to apologize! It’s all good.

Will you ever release the transparent sprites of the Our Life characters?

Probably not, I’m afraid. They’ve got a lot of pieces and it’d just be kind of hard to deal with, aha.

Something I was curious about, what was your inspiration for making a game with so much customization?

Initially, the idea was just about having a romance where you actually grew up with the LI. But it was pretty stressful to try deciding how fast the relationship would progress with it taking place over such a long period of time and with no real storyline carrying it. People might not wanna play a game where the characters don’t get along as kids, but other people might not bother with a game where kids immediately liked each other. So the obvious answer came, just let the player pick themselves how it goes. From there we simply continued to add more flexibly with the MC due to the same thought process of wanting to make sure people were onboard with how their life was going.

What made you decide to change the artstyle for ol 2 so much? I of course respect all your decisions and will buy the shit out of everything related to ol 2, but i love the original style and i m honestly not a fan of the styles shown on patreon, despite me liking the painterly style in general. (I don t mind the style being changed, just that the examples shown so far all feel like there s something wrong with them.)

We’ve always used different art styles for each of our projects. They all have distinct looks from each other. It’s just nice to do something new. I’m glad you really like how the first game looks, though. And those samples were only general concepts, rather than the exact options being decided between. We wanted to see reactions to different options. The art style we’re going with won’t be exactly like those, though I personally like all of them. I think players are gonna enjoy the style Our Life: Now & Forever when it’s revealed.

Hey! Is it ok to ask what gender ourlife2 protagonist will be and if we'll be given the same opportunity to customize an MC? Totally understand if you're keeping this under wraps for now if u don't wanna say!

OL2 will have the same type of MC customization as OL1, but even more refined! So their gender will be up to you.

Hi! I happened upon Our Life on Steam by pure chance. It is such a great game, I am super excited about the DLC, and I just want you all to know that you are awesome! :D I have a question, and I'm sorry if it's been asked before. Do you have plans of making more games similar to Our Life, with customizable player character? The customizable player character was probably the one thing I personally have been desperate for in romance VNs. So glad there finally is one and would love to see more.

Thank you! And yep, we do have plans for more games like Our Life, most notably is another game in the franchise- Our Life: Now & Forever. We’ll also likely have other, non-OL, games with customizable MCs, though we may still have some games with set MCs in the future as well.

On the patreon dlc just curious but is it possible to play it without actually sleeping together/getting the nsfw content? I just want to spend more time with Cove

Yeah, you can still choose not to go that far. Though the event is shorter if you pass on the 18+ stuff.

At the beginning of Step 2, did Cove end up accidentally falling asleep in your bed? Or did he fall asleep on the floor?

He fell asleep sitting on the floor with his body/head leaning against the side of the bed.

This may seem like a weird question, but what exactly is the difference between "direct" and "relaxed" on the comfort scale?

Direct is blunter and more teasing, relaxed is lighthearted and goes with the flow.

can the MC have tattoos in step 3?

Not in Step 3, but you can in Step 4.

how would Cove react if he visited somewhere like North Carolina in winter where it can get in the 20s(F) at night sometimes?

He would be shocked and unprepared for what serious coldness is really like, haha. The poor beach baby would wanna go home.

Hello! I just joined the PATREON!! It’s amazing! I love your games! I have a question, approximately how much after will the nsfw be out? After or before the dlc 3 and step four? Sorry my English isn’t the best!❤️❤️❤️

Thanks so much! The NSFW DLC will be out after the Step 3 DLC but before Step 4. And you don’t need to apologize for that ^^.

This might be obvious but, will step 4 have dlcs? Also, where will the nsfw dlc happen? Won't bother me at all if it s in in our or his house but i do think it d be moderately funny

Step 4 will have the Cove Wedding DLC and the Derek and Baxter romance DLCs each add a lot of new content to Step 4, though they’re also partially set in Step 2 and Step 3 respectively. The NSFW DLC happens in Cove’s room.

I keep wondering what would've happened if Mr. Holden met Lizzie first instead of the MC. I can't see that turning out well somehow lol.

It wouldn’t have made a difference. He met the MC’s parents first and they told him about their two kids. He wanted the MC specifically to be Cove’s friend because the two were the same age.

Even though we have a way to go I'm really excited for OL 2! I was curious though, is the next main character going to be adopted again? I thought it was really clever to make the first main character adopted so when players are customizing, they can make them look how ever they like without worrying about pesky genetics. Just wondering!

The OL2 MC is not adopted. We wanted to go for a new dynamic. Instead their parents are their biological single mother who is partially customizable and an off-screen sperm donor father. So the mom will look generally like the MC and any other traits not from her can be assumed to come from whoever the father was.

—– —– —–

Thank you so much for all the asks ^^

FAQ If you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

#our life #Our Life Beginnings & Always #ourlifeba #ask #gb patch #gb patch games #Our Life: Now & Forever

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noladyme · 4 years ago

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La Cuervo - Chapter 25

She is used to the biker-life, having grown into a woman in the familiar embrace of SAMCRO. A bad decision and a gun-shot later, she gets whisked off to Santo Padre, and put under the protection of another club. What is supposed to be a short stint in the Mayan headquarters just north of the border to Mexico, turns into something more; when la quervo begins to develop feelings for el angel - and he seems to return them in kind...

TW: violence, blood, drug use, alcohol, smut, fluff, angst

In the spirit of "The Crown Princess of Charming", this is a story about O.C. Nina and Angel Reyes. It is obviously non-canon, as characters who have passed on, on Mayans M.C., are present in it, and others have been excluded completely. Nina is written as a cis-female, but I have tried to keep her race and looks as ambiguous as possible. Should you find any of this story offensive, please let me know.

25.

After their middle of the night conversation and subsequent make-up sex, Nina and Angel got a few hours of sleep.

The sound of the birds in the tree outside, and a hard knocking on the front door, woke Nina up. Turning her head, she saw that Angel was still sound asleep, with Bug nuzzled up in the crook of his neck. Finding the sight too adorable to disturb, Nina quietly crawled out of bed, and put on her sleeping shorts, and one of Angel’s shirts. Putting a bit more weight on her pained leg than she’d been able to a few days earlier, she made her way to the front door, and looked out the peep hole; before opening.

“Good morning”, EZ said; holding up two paper cups of coffee. “He’s still sleeping”, Nina said, and moved so he could enter. “In the bed?”, EZ asked disbelievingly. “He told you…”, she muttered. “He’s my brother. He told me you guys weren’t doing so good… But, you’re better now?”. “We’re working on it”, Nina shrugged. “I’ll go get him, so you can give him that”. She nodded towards the coffee. “No, this is for you”. EZ held out a cup for her, and she took it confusedly.

She limped over to sit on the couch, and lit one of the cigarettes from Angel’s pack. Bug slipped out through the crack of the bedroom door, and when he saw EZ, he hissed. “What the hell is that?”, the prospect asked. “Bug… Her cat”, Angel grunted, as he came out after the cat; rubbing his eyes. He’d taken time to put on sweatpants and a beater. “Our cat”, Nina reiterated. “It looks… sick”, EZ said, giving Bug’s one and a half ear and skinny body a hesitant look. Angel walked over, and gave the cat a quick scratch behind the ears. “He’s a fighter”, he said, and went over to sit down next to Nina.

EZ sat down on the recliner, and looked down at his own coffee. “I would have gotten you one, but I didn’t know if you’d already left”, he muttered at Angel. “It’s good bro”, Angel said, and nabbed Nina’s cigarette. The prospect gave Nina a half smile. “It was kind of a peace-offering. You’ve been staying away from the clubhouse”. “I’m not mad at you”, Nina said. “I’m just… I don’t know if I’m ready to face Bishop and Taza”. “Taza hasn’t been around either”, Angel said. “You guys didn’t… He’s ok, right?”, Nina asked worriedly. She was angry, but she didn’t want Taza hurt. “We haven’t done anything to him… But we have a vote later today”, Angel said. “We need to decide whether he and Bish’ are keeping their posts”. “Why?”, Nina guffawed. “Because they went behind the club’s back; pulling that shit with you and Palo”, Angel said. “Bishop has stepped down temporarily, until we decide what to do. He’s been around, but Tranq’s taken the head of the table for now… He ain’t president material, though”. “And Taza?”, Nina said. “If we vote Bish’ back in, I’m guessing he’s gonna want him back as VP… If we let Taza come back at all”, Angel said.

EZ took a sip of his coffee, and leaned forwards; giving his brother a hesitant look. “Where do you stand on all that?”. Angel took a deep draw from the cigarette, and blew out the smoke while shaking his head. “I’m not sure, man…”, he admitted. “As prez’ and VP, I didn’t ever have a problem with them before. But they lied to the club… And this shit was personal to me. They put Nina in danger”. “You don’t have a problem with Taza being…”, EZ said, trailing off. “It’s called gay… homosexual… He likes men. You can say it”, Nina scolded him. “Yeah, I can say it…!”, EZ exclaimed. “It’s just one of those rules I’ve had trouble dealing with. I follow the club on a lot of things; but that…”. Nina gave him slight smile; happy that he felt like she did. “I don’t have a problem with that”, Angel shrugged. “No one should”.

Taking sip from the cup, Nina then traded Angel the coffee for the cigarette. She took a deep drag, before stubbing it out. “Well, it looks like you have stuff to do today”, she said. “I guess me and Bug will just hang out here”. The cat came over to brush against her good leg. He’d been good with leaving the pained one alone. “Hank wants you at the clubhouse…”, EZ muttered, giving her a hesitant look. “He sent me to get you… We didn’t know if you and Angel were talking”. Nina sighed. “I don’t know… EZ, all that shit that went down…”. “That’s why he wants you there”, EZ said. “He wants the club to hear your side, before they take the vote”.

Looking up to meet Angel’s eyes, Nina found nothing but warmth and support in them. “I’m not gonna make you do anything. It’s up to you, ma’”. She took the cup from him, and emptied it; before getting to her feet. “I’m gonna need more coffee…”, she grunted, and limped in to the bedroom to get dressed.

---

The scrapyard seemed like a completely different place to the last time Nina had been there. There was tension in the air, as EZ and Angel – with Nina behind him – rode up to the clubhouse. Chucky gave her slight wave from the front office, when they passed it.

Coco and Gilly came down from the porch to greet them as they arrived, and Nina gave both of them a warm hug. “Are you ok?”, she asked. “I know there was at least some fighting the other day…”. “We’re good, niña”, Coco said. “How’s the leg?”. “Much better”, Nina said. Letting Angel put his arm around her waist, they all walked up to the porch, and into the clubhouse together.

Inside, the rest of the charter – except for Taza – were spread throughout the room. Bishop sat alone by a table in the corner; and gave her short look. He almost looked embarrassed. Hank walked straight up to Nina, and put a hand on her shoulder. “Thanks for coming”, he said warmly. “We need your take on all this”. “I don’t know what you want me to say… I’m not happy about what happened”, Nina said. “We just need you to be honest”, Riz said, having come over to join them. “Shouldn’t come as a problem…”, Creeper muttered sarcastically, and stubbed out his cigarette. Nina frowned confusedly in his direction. “Where are we doing this?”, Angel asked. “Templo…”, Hank said. “And we should get to it. We got Reaper incoming soon”. Nina swallowed thickly. Being in the room with Bishop was hard enough, but having to face Filip was something she hadn’t been prepared for. “It’ll be ok, cuervo”, Angel said below his breath. The nickname struck her as odd at the moment, but Nina decided against challenging him on it; and simply let him lead her into templo. EZ stayed behind in the bar area, looking worried, and prepared for anything to happen.

Letting his hand brush against his usual chair, Hank went to sit at the head of the table. He looked very uncomfortable with his current station. “Please…”, he said, and gestured for Nina to take the seat at the other end of the table. The rest of the Mayans took to their own seats; with Bishop taking the one furthest from his regular seat. This meant he sat just around the corner of the table from Nina, making her unable to ignore him. Angel shot her a comforting smile, before looking to his temporary president.

Seemingly waiting for someone else to begin, Hank finally realized that was his job; and cleared his throat. “I guess… we should get started”, he said. “Nina; thanks for coming. I asked the prospect to bring you, because we have an important vote coming up; but we need to know what to base our decision on”. Riz let Hank out of his misery, by taking over. “We already heard from Bishop. He let us know that you weren’t aware of his and Taza’s decision to go behind our backs…” “Yeah, they behind our backs, but so did she…”, Creeper interrupted. He looked hard at Nina. “You might not have known the real plan, but you went against the club’s decision; and snuck off to do your own shit”. “Sure, but she’s not a member of the club”, Gilly said. “Pretty damn close”, Creeper said.

Angel looked at Creeper; the promise of a serious beating almost written in neon over his head. “What are you trying to say? You wanna punish her?”, he said. “I didn’t bring her here to get…”. “I’m just telling it like it is”, Creeper said. “Nina tricked me in to letting her sneak away”. Bishop chuckled slightly. “Maybe you shouldn’t be so easily tricked…”, he said. “Careful, Bishop”, Riz said. “You’re the one on trial here, and Creep isn’t wrong”. Nina threw up her hands, and sighed. “Why don’t you just get to it then. Punch me around, and degrade me to toilet-cleaner. I’ve been through much worse lately!”. “Everyone calm down!”, Hank said. “Nina, you did go against the club. You broke our trust…”. “At the time, you didn’t even know Bishop was in on it; so, on top of that, you went against the president’s direct orders”, Riz said. Creeper nodded in agreement.

“Ok”, Nina said. Every face at the table turned to her. “What? You wanted me to apologize? I was trying to save your asses”. “Technically, she did”, Coco said. He grabbed a cigarette from his back and lit it; before sliding both the pack and his lighter down the table to Nina. She took one of the smokes, and lit it; sending Coco a slight smile. “If we’d gone to war with VM… fuck”, Coco said, visibly shuddering. “We voted for war”, Creeper said. “You didn’t seem like that’s what you wanted at the time…”, Gilly said. “But that’s how this shit works!”, Creeper said. “This club is a democracy…”. “El Padrino was in on it”, Angel said. “At the end of the day…”. “He doesn’t call the shots here”, Riz said.

Nina took a deep drag of her cigarette. “Riz… I’m sorry you’re angry that I went against the club by going with Taza. I’m not gonna apologize for actually doing it, though. If the plan he told me about had worked out, it would have been the best move for your club. That’s a fact you can’t deny”. Unable to come up with a reply, Riz shrugged in something resembling agreement. “It didn’t work out, though”, Creeper said. “That’s not my fault”, Nina retorted. “And honestly, I think your butthurt mostly has to do with the fact that another woman managed to trick you”. “Nina…”, Angel said warily. Creeper’s expression grew saddened. “If you’re talking about Camille, you’re right. She got to me. But that was just a fling with a hangaround…”. His brows furrowed, and he shook his head defeatedly. “You’re family… You were supposed to have our back… My back. Not lie to me”. Nina swallowed thickly, feeling choked and ashamed. “You’re right… I’m sorry for lying. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t trust me anymore; but I understand it”. She sighed deeply. “I’ll take whatever punishment the club decides to give me”. “There won’t be no punishment”, Angel said. “If there is, I’m out of here”. “Angel!”, Nina exclaimed. “Nah, mami… They ain’t touching you”.

“We’re not going to punish Nina”, Hank declared. “She’s right. Taza’s fake plan would have been a good move; and she did what she did to help the club. She wasn’t a part of the official vote, and she’s not a patch. She doesn’t owe us to follow orders; and she didn’t owe us to try to help the way she did”. He looked deep into Nina’s eyes. “You risked your life for the MC… Thank you”. Angel relaxed in his seat. “I get what you’re saying, but…”, Creeper began. Hank slammed his fist into the table. He looked angrier than Nina had ever seen him; but then again, digging through her memories, she’d never seen him angry. “I’ll be happy to take it to a vote; but even with Angel stepping out for being biased, it still looks like punishment will be off the table”. Creeper raised his hands in defeat, and leaned back in his seat.

“If no one else has anything to say, then let’s get to why we’re here”, Hank said. “Nina, what’s your view on what happened the other day?”. Nina took another drag of her cigarette. “Taza called. He said he had a way of avoiding a full-blown war, and asked me to meet him; so we could go see Palo”. “Did you know he’d told Palo that he would hand you over?”, Riz asked. “Yes…”, Nina said, meeting Angel’s eyes for a short second. Anger ghosted his face, but he held his tongue. “He told me we’d be able to reason with Palo, and I thought so too. He seemed about to go for it as well, but… He said he wanted his pound of flesh; and that’s when they brought in Angel”. “Which wouldn’t have happened if…”, Bishop began. “Fuck you, Bish’!”, Angel said. “You ain’t president right now. I’d be happy to show you around the cage…”. “Angel!”, Hank said. “Nina, please…”. “Palo wanted me to shoot Angel, but Bishop and the rest of them arrived in time to…”. She couldn’t finish the sentence; feeling tears welling up. “Taza killed Palo, and that was it”, she finished, and wiped her eyes. “And how do you feel about being lied to about what the real plan was?”, Riz asked. “Come on, Riz…”, Coco said. “I’m not trying to stir shit up, man”, Riz said. “We asked her to come here, to tell us about her experience with all this”. “Yeah, but this ain’t Oprah”, Gilly said. “It’s fine… I’ll answer”, Nina said. “I feel like shit. My decision to go with Taza on this, was based on me not wanting anyone else to get hurt… But Sala was shot, and Palo’s neck was slit right in front of me”. She stubbed out her cigarette. “I might be safe from VM and Palo, but it came at the cost of even more lives… Daniella; Camille; Sala; Palo… Those were all because of me, and what I did to Gael in that alley two months ago…”.

Self-hatred washed over her, and she got her feet. “I don’t think you should punish Bishop, or kick Taza out of the MC… All of this is my fault. I’m sorry I came here and messed up your club”. Ignoring the pain in her leg, Nina stormed out of templo. EZ and Chucky – who’d come in to the clubhouse, while she was in templo – gave her confused looks, as she ran out of the clubhouse, and slammed the door shut behind her. She sat down on the stairs, and buried her face in her hands, letting her tears fall.

The door opened and closed behind her, and she looked up; confused to see Creeper sit down next to her. “This isn’t your fault, Nina”, he said. “I thought you were pissed at me…”. “I was… I am. But not because I think you’re to blame for all this. You worried me… us. Putting yourself in danger like that…”. He sighed deeply. “The thing about you going behind our backs… You’re a part of the family. I expected you to act like a patch; but that’s not fair. We won’t let you wear a cut, so I can’t assume that you’ll act like you are”. “I’m sorry for tricking you”, Nina croaked. “I should never have come here… You lost your president, your VP… You almost went in to full on war!”. Creeper put his arm around Nina’s shoulders. “We haven’t decided on Bishop and Taza yet”, he said. “And war with the Vatos has been under way for a long time. Even before you got here”.

Nina sighed, and looked intently at Creeper. “Don’t punish Bishop and Taza. Don’t take away their flashes”, she said. “They had to make a quick decision; and they wouldn’t have done it if they didn’t think they were doing what was best for the MC… Just because they’re leaders, doesn’t mean they’re infallible. Give them a chance”. Creeper narrowed his eyes at her. “I know Angel said you were smart; but that was almost sage wisdom”, he smirked. “Where do you get it from?”. Nina let out a soft laugh, and wiped her eyes. “I knew a guy who had to make a lot of hard decisions”, she said. “Some of them were really shitty, but they all came from a place of love for his club and his family”. Creeper pressed a kiss to her forehead; then got to his feet, and helped Nina up to stand. “I’ll tell them what you said”, he smiled. “But I won’t use words like infallible. I don’t think half of them know what that means”. There was the sound of glass shattering from inside the clubhouse. “You should get back inside. Gilly’s physically holding Angel down in there”.

He supported her weight back to the door, and opened it for her. Chucky was sweeping up a broken beer bottle, and Angel was struggling to get free from Gilly’s grasp on his arms. Nina walked over to him, and as Gilly let him free, Angel wrapped her into his arms. “Are you ok?”, he whispered into her ear. “Yeah… I’m ok”, Nina said. “He…?”. “We’re good. Really”. She got on her toes, and caught his lips in a warm kiss. “Go vote… Make good decisions”. Angel nodded, and stole another kiss from her, before following his brothers back in to templo.

Nina limped over to sit down by a table, and blew out a deep breath. After four days of hiding at the house, eating microwave dinners, and cursing her own inability to cook; she was overjoyed when EZ came over, and placed a Tupperware box in front of her. “Gaby?”, she asked with bated breath. “Uh huh”, EZ smiled. “I’m serious, Ezekiel. I will marry her myself, if you don’t!”. The prospect let out a warm laugh, and sat down next to her, producing two forks. Chucky came over with two cold cokes for them, before going over to count the chairs in the room, for some reason. “Chuck? What are you doing?”, EZ asked. “I need to make sure we have enough seats for the wedding”. Nina laughed, feeling herself brighten up slightly.

They were seated, eating straight out of the box, and trying to keep each other’s moods up, when the door opened, and Taza stepped inside; his cut hung over his arm. He nodded solemnly at them, and walked over to the ornate door of templo; seemingly taking a deep breath before stepping inside, and closing the door behind him again. “What do you think that means?”, Nina muttered. “I don’t know…”, EZ said. “Hopefully it’s good news”. He noticed Nina’s strained expression, and squeezed her shoulder. “Are you ok? I know you’re not happy about how things went down…”. Nina sighed. “You all keep telling me I’m family… But they forced me to be a part of something I was trying so hard to avoid. Is that how you treat kin?”. “If family doesn’t know what’s best for them, then maybe… yeah”, EZ said. “Palo wouldn’t have let you go. You’d be looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life. Hurt feelings; you can get over shit like that. But death is kind of final”. “Maybe… But I wish they’d told me the truth”.

They sat in silence for a long moment. “Is you dad mad at me, for stealing his truck?”, Nina asked quietly. “You parked it by his shop. He was ok”, EZ replied. “Yeah, but…”. “Nina, you make Angel happy; and pap’ sees grandkids in his future”, EZ chuckled. “You can do no wrong in his eyes”. “I’m not pregnant!”. “Not for lack of my brother trying, I’m guessing”, EZ smirked. “We’re not having this conversation!”, Nina said. Ezekiel shrugged in surrender. “Just… If you do make me a tío, don’t let Angel name the baby”. “Why?”. “He named your cat Bug!”, EZ laughed. Nina punched his shoulder. “That was me…”, she pouted.

The door to templo opened, and Hank stepped out, giving them a warm smile. Bishop came out behind him, and they gave each other a warm and very masculine hug. “Thanks for taking the gavel when needed”, Bishop said. “Thanks for taking it back”, Hank smiled. “That chair is uncomfortable”. Nina couldn’t help but smile, and Bishop met her eyes; giving her a half smile in return.

The rest of the Mayans emerged from the room, with Taza coming out lastly; wearing his cut. Nina let out an audible, relieved gasp. Getting to her feet, Angel went over to support her. He let her lean against him, as she walked up to Bishop and Taza. “It looks like we have you to thank for keeping these flashes”, Bishop said. “I think we’ve got more than that to thank you for”, Taza smiled softly. Nina shook her head. “Just… trust your family with the truth in the future. It might be painful, but it’s the better way out”, she said. “Alright”, Bishop said. “Still; thank you…”. Nina grinned at him. “You’re fishing for a hug again, aren’t you…?”. “Yes he is”, Taza said.

Nina put her arms around the president, and hugged him tightly. He gave as good as he got, and turned to whisper in her ear. “I’m sorry, mija…”. “I forgive you”, she replied. Taza was next, and Nina gave him a short kiss on the cheek. “I forgive you too, Scarecrow”. Taza pulled back, and looked down at her. “I’m not that sharp on my Judy Garland, but I’m pretty sure the line is I’ll miss you the most… Are you going somewhere?”. “Nah”, Nina said, and looked around at the faces of her family. “There’s no place like home”.

There was a rumbling of bikes outside, and EZ looked out of the window. “SOA”, he said. Nina took Angel’s hand, and let herself be tucked into his side. “Better break out the Jameson”, she said. “Can’t Chibs drink anything else?”, Angel asked. Nina sighed. “It’s for me…”.

---

Happy, Tig and Rat came through the door, and made a beeline for Nina. It was a clusterhug, that ended with her having to waving her hands in the air, to be allowed to breathe. Once released from their grasp, Nina looked behind them with a confused expression. “Chibs?”, she said quietly. “Outside…”, Tig said. “Did you vote yet?”, Nina asked hesitantly. “What vote?”, Happy asked. “You think we’d take the chance to let Tiggy be president?”. Rat visibly shuddered, and Tig smacked the back of his head; making the younger biker let out a yelp. “We get why he did it”, Tig said. “We didn’t like it, but… He’s not the first SAMCRO president to make decisions behind the club’s back, to protect a family-member”. “That’s what he was doing. You know that”, Happy said. Nina sighed, and began moving towards the door. Rat grabbed her arm to halt her. “Rat, I’m sorry for tricking you, but…”, she began. “No… I get it”, he said. “I just wanted to say; don’t be too hard on him. He loves you”. Nina nodded, and went outside.

Filip was leaning against his bike, when she came down from the porch. “Hi…”, she said quietly. “Hello… I didn’t want to come inside, if you didn’t want me there”, Filip said. “It’s not my house”. “Yes, it is”, he smiled softly. Limping halfway over to him, Filip hurried over to grab Nina’s arm. “Is that leg not doing better?”, he asked. “Yeah. I’m just cutting down on the painkillers”, she said. “Good… That’s smart. But you shouldn’t overexert yourself”.

He led her over to lean against his bike. “How angry are you?”, he asked. “Very… You knew how I felt about the bloodshed… Too many people had died already”, Nina said. “But I understand why you did it. You were trying to protect me”. “I really was, luv’”, Filip sighed. “But it’s like you didn’t respect me enough to make me part of the plan”. “I respected you too much, Nina!”. Filip grabbed her hand, and held it tightly. “You’re too good for decisions like the ones we had to make that day… And what you said about Jax…”. “I shouldn’t have brought him up”, Nina said. “No, you were within your rights to”, Filip said. “But… I think he would have made the same decision, little sister. Anything to keep you safe”.

Sighing deeply, Nina pulled at Filip’s hand, to make him wrap his arms around her. She threw her own arms around his neck. “I love you, big brother…”, she croaked. “But don’t ever lie to me again, or I’ll stab you in the balls with a rusty screwdriver”. “That’s oddly specific”, Filip muttered. “I wanna make sure it’s extra painful”. “Fair enough”.

He kissed her temple, and together they made their way back to the clubhouse.

---

“That’s a long ass ride to take, just to come see me”, Nina said, as she sat on Angel’s lap, surrounded by her SAMCRO brothers. Apparently, the Mayan felt that they’d spent too much time apart in the last four days, and after she came back inside with Filip, he hadn’t left her side. “We never left”, Happy said. “We’ve been staying at Vicky’s… It’s quite comfortable there”, Filip smirked. “Venus good with that?”, Nina asked Tig. “We’ve been doing facetime”, Tig winked at her. “I don’t need any of Vicky’s girls, when I got a woman at home waiting for me”. “You thinking about putting a ring on that?”, Angel asked. “She wants to fully transition first”, Tig shrugged. “I told her, I don’t care, but it’s important to her”.

EZ came over with a tray of shots. “What’s this?”, Rat asked. “Mezcal”, EZ said, and shot a smirk at Nina. “In that case, I’m out”, she said. “Just plain old tequila, then?”, Creeper asked, and set down a full shot glass in front of her. Nina rolled her eyes, and picked up the glass; cheering with the bikers. “It is time for us to go, though”, Filip declared, once he’d finished his drink. “We have a business to run”. “Wouldn’t want the line in front of the shop get too long”, Angel smirked. “People need their ice-cream”. “We do milkshakes too”, Rat smiled brightly. The rest of the Sons laughed at their endearingly naïve brother, and got to their feet.

Saying goodbye was less melancholic this time around. Nina managed to avoid completely soaking Angel’s shirt, as she hid her face against his chest, after waving goodbye to her Charming brothers; when they drove off the lot. Chucky, on the other hand, had to take a few minutes to himself in the garage. Coco went after him, and they emerged moments later, with Chucky wiping his eyes, as Coco muttered encouraging words in his ear.

After they all went back inside, Bishop cleared his throat. “Yo. Listen up”, he barked. “It’s time to get back to business around here. We’ve got a few runs to prepare for, and the yard looks like shit”. “It’s a scrapyard, jefe”, Coco said. “It’s supposed to look that way”. “Let’s take the day off”, Taza said. “We can get back to it tomorrow”. Bishop grunted in agreement, and the Mayans all looked like excited frat boys. Creeper and Gilly got to work, calling in some hangarounds for an impromptu party.

Nina – tears dry, and peaceful at heart – got on her toes, and kissed Angel’s cheek. “You can stay… I’m not really in the mood for partying”, she muttered. Angel snaked an arm around her waist, and brushed his lips against his ear. “Nah… I’ll go with you. The only party I wanna go to, is in your panties”, he hummed. “You’re so eloquent”, Nina chuckled. “So elegant…”, Angel nodded, and squeezed her butt; before quietly leading her out the clubhouse.

---

“Ow!”. “Sorry, mami… Maybe try turning the other way”. “My hair is stuck in the handlebars…”. “There… You’re free”. “Someone might see!”. “No, we’re good… Fuck! Don’t stop moving like that”. “Ok, yeah… Wow… Angel, please…”. “Fuck, yes! Put your foot on the fender… That’s right. Take it!”. “I’m so close… Angel!”. “You gonna come?”. “Uh huh… Holy, shit… Harder!”. “Me too… You feel so good…”. “Yes!”. “Oh fuck… I’m coming…! Ahh… Shit, I love you…”. “Te amo, papi… Wow. That was…”. “Uh huh…! I can’t believe we pulled it off…”. “Yeah… Now we just gotta figure out how to get your bike out of the front door again”.

---

To be continued…

tags: @cole-winchester @doloreschanal

#angel reyes #angel reyes fic #angel reyes x oc #angel reyes smut #mayans mc #mayans mc fic #ex reyes #coco cruz #sons of anarchy

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syms-things-5 · 4 years ago

Text

CLEAR THE AREA - Chapter Twenty

Previous Chapter here

Warnings: language and the usual angst

Summary: I made it! My first story at an end. Thanks for stopping by and sticking by me over the last few months. I'm strangely quite proud of myself for sticking with this even when I had zero idea of how things were going to go. I have plans for a sequel of sorts and I hope you come back for that (when I get my ass in gear to write it!).

Tags: Thanks to @kelbabyblue @jennmurawski13

Chapter Twenty

The hot shower was a welcome relief when she finally stepped inside. It had been a hell of a long day. Far longer than she could recall and she had battled plenty.

Sarah had been back at work for a week or so and trying her hardest to deflect questions. Audrey had, she realised, kind of figured most things out without having to awkwardly impose the third degree on her pal. She knew everyone in the family knew and while at first she was happy and possibly even a little excited by that knowledge, her enthusiasm soon turned to concern when Sarah informed her that Shanna had been ignoring all of her messages and calls ever since. None of Audrey’s queries beyond that were met with much more than a non-committal shrug. How could Sarah be expected to answer any of Audrey’s questions when she didn’t have any of the answers to her own?

“She’ll come around. She has to.” Audrey said, in her soothing tone that always seemed to work no matter what news she was giving. “She won’t want to lose you. You’ve been friends for years.”

A few people had said variations of the same thing to her lately. That Shanna will come around, that she was just shocked but she’ll eventually understand, and that things will get better. Carly said Shanna had a wicked stubborn streak in her that even she struggled with at times but she also knew she loved Sarah very, very much. It was just a tough time but she’ll learn to understand. It would absolutely be OK, she would bet money on it Sarah wasn’t so sure.

She already knew Shanna was as stubborn as they come - she’d lived with her long enough - so when exactly was she expected to “learn how to understand”? More importantly, why did she even have to? They had been best friends for years but Sarah had betrayed her trust and flat-out lied to her face. Multiple times. “White lies” Scott called them, shrugging them off as though they were a big pile of nothing and just something people do when they need to get out of awkward situations. Sarah wasn’t sure sleeping with her best friend’s brother counted as an “awkward situation” or something that could be casually brushed aside with a sweep of the hand but nevertheless, she appreciated his efforts.

These were the conversations that kept circling around her mind as she stood under the shower head. Normally, she wasn’t one for wasting water but she allowed herself to enjoy it a little more this time. The soapy lather and fragrances of lavender and sandalwood surrounded her senses and was very soothing to her brain.

She barely noticed the fog steaming up the bathroom and focussed on the feel of the hot water cascading over her tired, worn-out body instead. If she died right here, right now, they could say she was probably the most relaxed she had been in months.

“Shall we pick you up from the airport? It’s no trouble.” Jocelyn fussed on the end of the line. There was a loud scraping sound somewhere in the near-background so Sarah figured she was back on the DIY again. That, or she had given the pottery classes another go. Recollections of Shanna laughing herself silly at Jocelyn “doing pot” flooded back into her memory all of a sudden and only served to leave her feeling sad in the pit of her stomach.

“No, Mom, it’s fine. It’ll be late. I’ll just get a cab.” Sarah calmly affirmed, one hand holding the phone to her ear and the other shoving yet more clothes into her suitcase. She’d given up on folding like an adult. “The flight could be delayed so I don’t want you hanging around the airport any longer than necessary.”

“But you’ll have bags, Sarah. Heavy bags and that’s no good. You don’t want to give yourself an injury.”

“Mom, I have one suitcase. Don’t be so over-dramatic.” She eye-rolled.

That was the…fourth lie? Perhaps the fifth since this conversation had started? Who knew. Sarah glanced down at the suitcase on her bed currently lying next to a smaller, overnight suitcase. There was also a backpack and a laptop bag sitting ready by her bedroom door. It was just easier this way. If she had to explain her real intentions, she would never finish packing and her parents would be on the red-eye to Boston.

“OK, well, keep us posted when you leave and when you land and I suppose we can go from there.” Jocelyn sighed. Whatever she had been doing had now stopped and Sarah could imagine the look of concern on her face. She was momentarily consoled by the fact that her Dad would at least see things from her point of view and hopefully Jocelyn would learn to just drop it.

Sarah hung up the phone and went back into the bathroom to finish drying her hair currently wrapped up in a towel. Shanna had shown her a trick with a towel and an old cotton t-shirt some years earlier after she had eventually agreed to stop cutting her hair. “It’s so beautiful and curly but, like, it’s a nice curl? A gentle curl. Honestly, girls would pay so much money every day to have waves like yours.” enthused Shanna at the time. It was a sweet thing to say. Jocelyn had said much the same thing as she was growing up but Sarah always preferred shorter cuts because she couldn’t be bothered to spend time styling it every day. And it would always take time. Too much time.

Her longer hair felt so lifeless and dull by comparison, she thought, except when Audrey would blow-dry it during one of their all-too-rare girls’ afternoons and rub this coconut concoction into her roots so it smelled delicious for days afterwards. Or when Chris would gently comb his fingers through it when he thought she was asleep. She didn’t mind it so much then.

She finished the last brush-through and switched off the dryer, wrapping the cord around the handle ready for it to be packed. A dab of foundation under her eyes and she looked reasonably well-rested now; well enough so as not to draw attention to any stresses or worries. Jocelyn always had a knack for sussing them out and it was frustrating and unwelcome at the best of times. That she was usually right was beside the point.

She mentally ticked off a list of items she made a point of packing; some comfy sweatpants, a couple of books, her particular brand of coffee because her folks now apparently hated the stuff. She located her passport and boarding pass for the tenth time, making sure they were safely zipped in the side pocket of her backpack. She was pretty much done. If it wasn’t for the looming feeling of regret, she would call a cab to take her to the station right that minute.

Looking down at her phone, she decided to call Shanna one last time. It rang a few times before a groggy voice appeared on the end of the line.

“Hey….” Shanna offered, cold but not totally unhappy to hear her, Sarah thought. The last few times she had tried calling Shanna, it would ring for a lot longer. The shortness here was a small step in the right direction.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Sarah asked with some trepidation, trying not to sound overly familiar and casual. She was trying to follow Shanna’s lead with regards to friendly small talk.

“Better. Mom’s been making soup every day. Sick and tired of the stuff to be honest.” Shanna had come down with a small cold and had used it as an opportunity to stay in the relative ease and comfort of her mother’s house. Sarah would much rather have seen her in person before she left but speaking on the phone without one of them, or both of them, ending up in tears was also good.

“Well, at least you’re in the best place. Your Mom always makes me feel better when I’m unwell.” Sarah smiled down the line.

“I’m not unwell, Sarah.” she said, defensively. “It’s just a cold. I’m just tired.”

Sarah feared she’d overstepped the mark. “OK, well, still, it’s good that you’re there. ‘Cos…Lisa would just worry otherwise. Probably.” She was babbling now and she knew it but she couldn’t think of anything to say. Shanna had put up something of a wall between them now and while she was talking to her and not completing freezing her out, it felt different and not altogether pleasant.

“Yeh, that’s true.” Shanna responded after a brief pause. “But you’re a nurse so you would think I would be better in my own home.”

“Nah, I’d just be bringing back all kinds of infectious things.” Sarah joked and was relieved to hear a laugh on the end of the line, a laugh that very quickly turned into a harsh cough. But it had definitely started out as a laugh so she’d take that as a win, too.

“So, have you been really busy?” Shanna asked after she managed to clear her throat.

“Same old. We have a new intern and she’s pretty eager to get stuck in which is great. Audrey is impressed so that should tell you how amazing she is.” Sarah offered. It had in fact been busier than most days but now wasn’t the time to relay the usual information she wouldn’t normally think twice about offering to Shanna when she had asked.

“That’s cool.” Shanna coughed again and cleared her throat. “Have you been working all the time or, um, have you had much of a break?”

“Pretty much all the time, yeh. I did those double shifts I was meant to do last month so I’ve cleared my flexi-time now which is good. I’m back on track.”

“That’s cool.” Shanna said.

“Yeh and I built up some more which is good, too. It’ll come in handy at Christmas perhaps.” Sarah was trying to keep the conversation going as best as she could.

“Cool. Do you just come home and crash, then?”

“Most of the time, yeh.”

“You don’t go out anywhere or anything?”

“Um,” Sarah had a vague idea of what she was getting at. “I don’t really have time to do anything else. I wanted to get my hours back up to a healthy point. You know what O’Brien can be like.”

There was silence on the end of the line. Sarah could hear her shuffle about in what she assumed was her bed. Shanna coughed again, gentler this time, and sighed as she tried to think of what to come back with. She knew she was probably being a little obvious now.

“Well,” Shanna started. “I hope you’re getting through it all OK. Y’know, the work and stuff. I hope you’re doing alright.”

“Thanks. Yeh I’m…I’m alright.” Sarah replied, touched by the slight concern she could hear her speak. “I hope you feel better soon, too. It’s not fun having a cold particularly at this time of the year.”

“I’m sure Mom has been crushing aspirin and vitamins into my food so I’ll be Wonder Woman before you know it.”

Sarah laughed. “Absolutely you will. I’ll, er, let you get back to resting. Are you up to much?”

“No, I’m just watching Netflix.”

“Ah right. That’s cool. Lots of new murder shows from what Audrey tells me.” Sarah nodded. She knew Shanna wasn’t about to launch into a description of what programme she had been binging the last few days so they both vocalised their goodbyes and hung up. It was the first call that had ended on a mutual note and not Shanna making a lame excuse to cut off Sarah’s equally lame attempts at small talk. Again, Sarah took it as a positive.

Sarah looked down at her phone, a photo of them both in their graduation gowns on her home screen. She hadn’t changed it since she’d gotten the upgrade a year earlier and she had no intention of doing so now. It was a nice day, a nice memory. The hangover she suffered for days afterwards was more than worth it.

She was unsure why Shanna had felt the need to ask her what she’d been up to. She had seemed very specific, more so than about anything else they talked about lately. Naturally, Shanna knew Sarah well enough now to know she relied on work whenever she was dealing with something upsetting and difficult so surely it would have been obvious that she had had zero contact with Chris. He probably would have said as much to her in person. Or he would have talked with Scott or Lisa, and Shanna would have eventually found out by default.

The more she thought about it, the more anxious she felt. Knowing how she and Chris had left things, it was almost entirely likely that he hadn’t spoken to Shanna too much. Perhaps he had holed himself up in his apartment like he did following a tiring shoot, trying to sleep and rest and eat whatever carbs he could get his hands on. Maybe the opposite and he’d thrown himself into some training again. Maybe he’d gone back to Los Angeles for work, that he’d finally given in to Matt’s nudges and agreed to accept one of the many lucrative endorsement deals brands would throw his way every so often. Maybe he had been entertaining himself with the boys. Or with someone else. Someone…

No. This had been Sarah’s fault. There was no point trying to find justification for his absence. She had created a rift between a brother and sister where one should not have existed. He should have talked to Shanna but from Shanna’s probing and what little information she could gleam from Scott, evidently that didn’t appear to have taken place. She briefly considered googling his name to see if any news outlets had a scoop before deciding against it. She almost made it to her kitchen before giving in and bringing up a search on her phone. No. Nothing. He’d gone radio-silent as per usual. As she suspected. Normally, it was quite impressive of him to go under the radar with such precision but now it was just inconsiderate. How dare he not make his whereabouts publicly known so Sarah could come up with a half-convenient lie as to why he and Shanna hadn’t seen each other. A comforting lie that could make herself feel better about the mess.

It would have made her feel so much better to know they were getting along again. Selfishly, it would have made it easier for her to leave knowing that they were finding their own way of getting back on track with one another. Sarah could imagine Lisa fretting to Scott and Carly at night, wondering how she could help her two most stubborn children become pals again. Sarah would rather she had been forgotten completely in favour of them piecing their relationship back together, for everyone’s sake. If there was one thing Sarah hated more than drama, it was knowing she was the root cause of the drama. Separating herself from the family now would be preferable than being made increasingly aware of the glaring hole setting up home in their house. A meteoric hole that she had been responsible for. A hole inside a family unit that had gotten through a lot in their forty-plus years together. A wonderful, loving, generous family that had taken Sarah in without question and had accepted her as one of their own just because Shanna had once said she was “pretty cool”.

No, Shanna did not deserve to be frozen out by her brother. Chris didn’t deserve to feel like he couldn’t speak to his baby sister.

Another day passed and Sarah didn’t feel much better. She did, however, feel momentarily relieved by Audrey’s personal admission that she had googled Chris a couple of times as well. Another sip of steaming hot coffee and she further admitted to having set him up on her Google Alerts “just in case”.

“For safety. I’m just looking out for you.” Audrey declared before smirking at her across the table. “I didn’t want you waking up one morning to photos of him draped over some starlet or whoever. And don’t think for one second that I will not come for anyone who dares to speak ill of you online. You are beautiful and kind and funny and sweet and absolutely good enough for him. I swear to God and he can quote me on this. Think of me as your own personal hype-woman.”

“Wow. Thank you. That’s a lot to take in but it’s very kind.” Sarah laughed nervously. “I think.”

“All I ask in return is dibs on designer dresses for the wedding.” Audrey winked at her as she left the staffroom. She didn’t catch neither the eye roll nor the middle finger Sarah proffered in return.

A few moments of quiet passed and Sarah pulled up Scott’s number on her phone.

Sarah 10.45am: Is Shanna feeling any better?

Scott 10.52am: So so. She’s terrible at being an ill person. I don’t know how you manage it xx

Sarah texted a laughing emoji back in response followed by a couple of red hearts. She’d give anything to “manage” an ill Shanna right now.

Scott 11.04am: But how are you??? We miss you Xx

Sarah could feel the tears forming at the back of her eyes. It had been a couple of days since she had last cried but as her departure flight loomed ever closer she was feeling it more and more.

Scott 11.08am: Seriously………

Scott 11.09am: Please come see us soon. Mom is super worried about you and threatening to bring you her tiramisu

Scott 11.11am: don’t worry, I stopped her xx

She bit the inside of her lip a little too hard.

Scott 11.13am: but you owe me one. I had to eat half that thing xx

Chris loved tiramisu, she remembered. Maybe he was responsible for eating the other half.

It was no good. She was going to have to call him soon. Against the promise she’d made to herself about not thinking about him, it only served to keep her worrying about him more and more.

Sarah 11.20am: I know, I’m sorry. Tell her I’ll call her soon, I pormise xx

Sarah 11.21am: *promise

Scott 11.24am: not sure that’ll do much honeybun. You know what she’s like. Love you xx

She texted him a kiss emoji and felt relieved that he didn’t respond again. She pulled up Chris’ number and contemplated sending him a message. How would she even start? A simple “hey” was not going to cut it at this point, nor was a “how are you?”. Time was running out and as Ryan peered his head round the door to check on her, she shoved her phone back in her locker and left to finish off her day.

Sarah 15.58pm: Are you still alive?

She stayed staring at her phone for what felt like an eternity. Just before she resigned in disgust at her pitiful attempt at casual humour, she saw the tell-tale three dots appear at the bottom of her screen. They flickered for some time before stopping then starting again. She wasn’t sure if it was because he was composing some irate response at her pathetic joke or if he was deleting a message in favour of ignoring her altogether. She wasn’t sure which option she would prefer had she had the choice.

No response came through. She pulled a cup from the cupboard and set about making a small pot of coffee for herself. She still had a little time yet before she was due to leave for the airport and she had made plans to clean the place up a little before Shanna returned home, presumably a day or so later when she figured Sarah was safely out of the picture.

She picked up some daffodils and daisies on the way home from the hospital and separated the bunches between the living room, the kitchen and the hallway. She had visited two different grocery stores to find Shanna’s favourite flavour of ice cream and the fridge was stocked with some healthy veggies and yoghurt so she could make her breakfast smoothies in the morning. She also set about steam-mopping the hard floors so the clean, floral smell could spread through the entire apartment. It was a nice welcome home, she thought. She would appreciate it if someone had done the same for her.

Her phone started vibrating in the back pocket of her jeans as she folded the bedding that was fresh out of the dryer. She wasn’t altogether able to name the feeling she experienced at seeing Chris’ name flash on her screen alongside a photo of him smiling like the goof he was. A beautiful, sweet picture taken from Shanna’s birthday party three years previous. There was a time recently when she’d let it ring a little longer than was necessary just to allow herself the chance to stare at it for a few seconds more. But now was not one of those times.

“I genuinely didn’t think you were gonna answer me.” He said, his voice displaying the disbelief he was feeling.

“You would have kept ringing me otherwise.” It wasn’t an accusation as such, and he knew it.

“Yeh, probably. But I would have tried not to.” He said, matter-of-factly. “I’m not great with sussing women out but I figured you didn’t want to talk to me that much.”

She felt sad to hear him say it out loud even though it was true to an extent. He seemed submissive in some way. “Really?” She asked, more beseeching than she had intended.

He paused and she could hear him sigh. “Yeh, I would have. It would have been tough but I’ve thought about it a lot recently and I do have a little pride left, believe it or not.” She heard him straighten up and realised he’d been either lying on his couch or on his bed. “But you messaged me first. I’m kinda surprised to be honest.”

He wouldn’t be as surprised or impressed if she said it was just to check he hadn’t died in his sleep. She decided to keep that little tid-bit to herself.

“You’ve been quiet lately.” She said. “I mean, I thought...I don’t…” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I don’t actually know what I meant to be honest. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t haven’t contacted you out of the blue like this.”

“It’s fine. I’m glad you did.” Chris was feeling generous and decided to help her put out the fire. He knew she was panicking a little and no matter what else he was thinking right now, hearing her sound apprehensive wasn’t going to make him feel any better.

“I just wondered how you were doing, I suppose. I’ve been talking to Shan a little bit. Not a lot, not like we’re back to normal or anything but I wanted to check you were OK as well.” She tugged at the end of her sweater sleeve currently stretched between her fingers. “I haven’t really asked you that.”

He thought for a second. How was he feeling? He wasn’t sure he could give her an answer. He didn’t really know and he couldn’t make it sound half-positive even if he did. He had thrown himself into his work a lot more, much to the joy of Matt and some producers who had been trying to get his attention. When he wasn’t working out, he was reading scripts and when he wasn’t reading scripts, he was watching his diet. He had been very quiet on social media to an extent that someone in his PR team had taken to posting a couple of things on his behalf. Just two or three charity posts and something NASA-related to let his fans know he hadn’t completely disappeared. The team had notified him earlier that day that a cute dog video they had posted just 24 hours previous had gone viral and he had received more marriage proposals than usual as a result.

By now, he had learned how to fend off his mother and his brother. To be fair, it wasn’t all that hard to do with Scott. Scott had been understanding enough recently and he had the benefit of knowing when to shut up and let Chris go at his own pace. Pushing him was only going to have the opposite effect. More than once, he found himself wondering if Scott had spoken to Sarah. When he tried to hint around the situation to see if that had in fact been true, Scott had shut him down just as quickly. He didn’t mind that all too much. He appreciated Scott’s discretion and no doubt Sarah needed him just as much as he did.

“I’m alright, Bernette.” He said. “You know, fine.”

“Fine?”

“Yeh. Just fine. Nothing more.” He said. He didn’t much care about sugar-coating things but maybe that was out of a little tiredness and boredom. They were way past protecting each other from the other person’s feelings at this point.

“Anyway,” he shook his head. “What about you? How’s things with O’Brien?”

“Oh y’know. Yeh, fine, I guess.” She replied. “How did you know there was any issue with O’Brien?”

“You gotta love that Audrey.” He chuckled.

O’Brien had come under fire last week for yelling at a couple of interns and one of them, unbeknown to anyone else, happened to be the niece of a local congressman. Rumours were circling but Sarah and in fact most of her team had no time to pay attention to anything going on above their heads. That’s the thing with medical emergencies, you see: they never stop just because somebody’s job is on the line.

“Right.” She said. “What else has she said?”

“Nothing much.” He said. “She said you were worried about me.” There was a smugness that she decided to gloss over. Why was Sarah so surprised they had been talking about her behind her back? Why was she surprised that they had each other’s phone numbers?

“And you didn’t think to get in touch?”

“I thought you didn’t want to talk to me.”

Sarah chewed her bottom lip. If he could only see her now. He’d get a kick out of it for sure.

“Alright. Fair enough.” She sighed. “You’re OK. Good to know. I’ll let you get on with whatever you’re up to.”

“Is that it? That’s all you wanted to say to me?”

“Apparently Audrey has been filling you in.”

“Oh fucking-” He stopped himself. “You cannot be mad about this, surely. Listen, all she said was that you weren’t sure if I was OK because you thought I hadn’t been in touch with the guys. That’s all. She was doing the very thing you should have done yourself.”

She paused and swallowed. “Right.”

“Come on, Sarah. She thought she was helping. She’s just being a good friend.” He pinched the skin on his forehead between his thumb and forefinger. “And it was like yesterday or whenever. It’s not like we’ve been in touch constantly and talking about you all the time. She hasn’t said anything about how much you’re in love with me or how you can’t sleep for thinking about me.”

“What?!”

“It was a joke.” He deadpanned.

“Oh.” She said.

His heart sank – it wasn’t that much of a joke, he had hoped. He slid his hand down his face in frustration, pinching his nose slightly before leaning back on his sofa and staring up at the ceiling. He held his phone tightly to his ear and waited for her to speak.

“It’s OK.” She finally spoke. “I get it. I shouldn’t have been so distant these past few days. I’m sorry, Chris.”

He certainly wasn’t expecting that apology but he could roll with it. “This isn’t all on you, Sarah. I could have been in touch more, too. With everybody, I guess. I had a couple of meetings I had to prepare for so I think I just took that as an excuse not to be more present.”

“Anything fun?” She asked, taking the opportunity to change the subject.

“Kind of. Nothing massive. It’s an ensemble piece that a director wanted to talk to me about. It actually sounds pretty cool.” He scratched the side of his beard in contemplation. “It’s your cup of tea for sure. You like those murder-mystery-type films, right?”

“Oh yeh! Like Agatha Christie and Poirot? Love them.”

“I thought so. It’s a great script and I get some funny lines for a change. It’s something a little different and Matt keeps telling me that I need to think outside of the Marvel box, so…we’ll see how it goes.” He could feel himself growing a little more enthusiastic at the prospect of doing the movie. He should probably call Matt and tell him the same thing. He sounded like he was having a rough day so a contrite and grateful actor would cheer him up no end.

“Anyway, that’s about it. I’m kinda bored to be honest. Have you eaten yet today?”

She had all but emptied the fridge last night to remove anything that might go off in the next couple of days. Now it was filled with some of Shanna’s favourite things and there wasn’t anything in it that really appealed to her at this moment in time. She hadn’t thought much about food all day to tell the truth. She figured she’d grab a bagel while waiting for her flight.

“Um, no.” She said. “But I’m not that hungry either.”

“You don’t want waffles? With white chocolate? Raspberries?”

She did want that now he mentioned it. “No, I’m good.”

“That’s a lie.”

“It is not a lie.” Even she knew she wasn’t being convincing.

“Everybody wants waffles.” He implored. “It’s God’s way of saying he wants you to be happy. Come on, it’s my treat.”

“I just think…we probably shouldn’t see each other for a while.” She looked down the hall at the packed bags currently leaning against her bedroom door.

“It’s waffles, Sarah. I think I can control myself.”

“Um…”

“That’s good enough for me. See you in twenty.”

He hung up before she could respond. With no opportunity to persuade him otherwise, she stayed put in her kitchen, waiting for waffles.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” She smiled at him openly and saw his shoulders relax. Without prompting, he walked in past her and placed the take-out boxes on the counter. They were the size of pizza boxes and she felt her tummy rumble in anticipation.

“So, I’ve been thinking.” He started as he turned to face her again.

“In the few minutes since we last talked?” She spoke in jest.

“Hush, Bernette.” He eye-rolled. “I’ll have you know, I’ve been thinking very seriously these past few days and I know it’s tough right now but just hear me out, OK? Because I think I know a way to make things a little easier. Maybe if you get some time off from work, get some time away from everything, from Boston perhaps, it could actually make things a little better for the both of us. For everyone. I’ve been trying to think about things in a different way and not in my usual blinkered view or whatever the fuck Scott says I have, and I honestly think I’m seeing things a little clearer now, and…”

He glanced away from her face for only a split second but it was enough for him to visibly shrink a little in his stance before her eyes. Sarah followed his eyeline to the bags currently resting down the hall. The angle of the suitcase was hiding the other bags behind it but if he shifted a mere foot forward, he could possibly get the full picture.

Turning back to look at her, he furrowed his brow in confusion. “What’s going on?”

Sarah visibly swallowed and he knew the answer before she even opened her mouth. He became all too aware of her hands and arms hanging limply at her sides.

“I’m going to see my parents for a few days.”

“A few days? That’s a lot for a few days, Sarah. You normally travel light.”

“I just packed for a little longer ‘cos I wasn’t sure what I was going to-”

Chris didn’t give her time to bend the truth. He turned and walked back into the kitchen. She watched him move to the window before looking down at his feet and shaking his head in frustration. He rubbed a hand solidly over his beard. “You’re leaving.”

“Well, yeh, I’m going to see my parents and the two usually go hand in hand.”

“Oh, fuck off, Sarah.” He spat. “Don’t get smart with me. You’re doing a runner. This looks like a fucking cop-out.”

“No, you’re wrong. It’s not a cop-out and I don’t appreciate that tone either. If I was doing a runner, do you think I would do it in broad daylight and tell everyone what I was doing? I literally just told you where I was going.” She retorted.

She grabbed the last bottle of water from the fridge. She wasn’t particularly thirsty at that moment in time but she knew that he would eventually want it and she didn’t much feel like being accommodating right now especially not to a man who was calling her out in her own home. That he was entirely accurate in his assumptions was, well, irrelevant.

“How long are you really going for?” He asked as he watched her disappear from view and back down the hall to her bedroom.

“I just told you. A few days, maybe a week or so, and then I’ll figure it out from there.”

“Figure what out?”

“Just…” She turned back to face him, waving her hand vaguely in front of her in the vain hope he would suddenly understand everything she was trying to say. Either he did and didn’t want to give her an easy “out” or, most likely, he had zero clue because neither did she. Giving up, her shoulders slumped from their squared-off position just seconds ago when she was trying to give the impression of strength. “It’s just a lot, all of this, and I need some time out.”

He took another couple of small steps towards her before stopping by her bags. Looking down, he could see her intentions as clear as day now but as he looked back into her eyes, he could see her exhaustion ever clearer. They should be on the same side. He shouldn’t be picking on her this way.

“You just said I could do with a break, right?” She shrugged. “So, this is what I’m doing. You should be pleased. You could even say I’m taking your advice if you wanted to.”

“Yeh, but I actually meant taking a break together.” He conceded. “I came here to say I thought we could go to L.A. for a little while. I need to check on a couple of work things and I thought you could come with me. Nothing funny, I promise. Some proper sunshine might be cool, right?”

Sarah was struck by the kind gesture and the glint of hope now showing in his eyes. Despite what they had both said, he clearly hadn’t lost the small possibility that maybe they could try and forge something out of the ruins and, under different circumstances, she might have been tempted.

“Thanks for thinking of me.” She offered, merely giving him a small smile. It didn’t seem like there was much else to say. The bags were packed and now that he could take in his surroundings, it felt a little emptier somehow and like it had all been wiped clean. Except he didn’t feel so clean. He could feel her on him, on his skin and in his head, and he doubted he could remove her as easily as she was clearly hoping she could remove him.

“Do you think you’ll let us know when you come back?” he asked.

She looked passed him and down the hall, focussing on nothing in particular. “Yes, of course I’ll let you guys know. I’m not going forever.”

She tried her best to convince him but she knew it wasn’t going to do much.

“I know that,” he sighed. “but it’ll be weird not seeing you every day. It’ll be sad. I’ll be sad about it.”

He let out a deep breath and shuffled his feet awkwardly as he tried to think of something to say that might drag things out a little more, that might cause her to rethink her plans. It was one of the more frustrating things about her, that she could keep a secret so well. He briefly wondered if he could think of some more frustrating things about her that might help him cope with the current situation but no. Who was he kidding?

“I like this apartment.” He finally offered. “Some good memories.”

“You know that Shanna will still be here, right?” She chuckled.

“But you won’t be.” He said. “And between you and me? You’re kind of my favourite.”

“I won’t tell Scott you just said that.”

“He knows already. I wouldn’t worry about it.” He said. “Hey, do you think I could come and visit you?”

“Um-”

“-Just think about it. You don’t need to answer right now. It’s been ages since I’ve been to Maine and I hear they have amazing seafood.”

Sarah laughed again and regarded him like the small puppy he so obviously was. A small puppy that she realised she had been kicking ever-so-slowly over the past few weeks and it made her feel like shit. As much as she tried to convince herself otherwise, she knew she was running away and she knew she was a coward.

“I am sorry, Chris. For everything. I can’t really explain it in a way that means anything right now but I just wanted to say it clearly one more time to you in case I hadn’t really said it before.”

Chris held his hand up to stop her from saying anything more. He didn’t need an apology from her. Hearing her apologise only made him feel worse. Of the multiple times she had been caught under his gaze, nothing was quite like the way he was looking at her now.

“Sarah,” he started. “I need you to know that whatever it is you want from me, I’ll never say no.”

“Chris, I-”

“-Honestly, that’s….that’s the only thing I really wanted to say.” He held his hand up again to stop her if she was thinking of interrupting him again. “I’m gonna go and I hope you have a safe trip, OK? Enjoy your waffle. Maybe send me a text or something, let me know you made it there in one piece. If you want to. Maybe we’ll see each other again sooner rather than later.”

She saw his eyes glance behind her and into her bedroom. He turned and glanced once more into the bathroom like he was taking a mental picture of the place which seemed crazy to her until she remembered that he wasn’t strictly talking to Shanna and it was unlikely he’d be back here anytime soon. God, she hoped they’d fix things. She needed to at least believe her leaving would make things a little better for them. Otherwise, what would be the point?

They didn’t say goodbye in the typical sense or any kind of sense, really. She was almost relieved to watch him walk away quietly without looking back and equally as relieved to have made it to the airport without much more fuss.

Like it was said, she was a coward.

Audrey had called her to wish her a safe journey and then spent fifteen minutes complaining about O’Brien and a patient who had taken to calling her “princess”. Sarah was glad of the distraction as she made her way through the airport towards the waiting lounge. It was pretty busy for the time of evening but she was glad to feel invisible once again as she moved through the heavy criss-crossing crowds of people, each with their own issues to deal with. Something about strength in numbers perhaps. A couple more hours and she’d be home again. A couple more hours and Jocelyn could stop texting her messages that made little sense.

Oh God.

Living with her mother again was going to try her patience. Maybe this was the price she had to bear? It wasn’t too late to change her mind, Audrey had said before pleading in a half-joking, half-serious manner that surely, she wasn’t going to leave her to handle the hospital by herself? It was almost like she was expecting never to see Sarah again. A few weeks. That was all it was going to be. Then she’d figure out what to do from there, with a break and some fresh Maine-air to clear the cobwebs. Chris was right about the seafood and the closer she got to her departure time, the more she started looking forward to it. She was sure she was making the right decision.

Chris 19.46pm: Don’t forget about us xx

She was sure she was making the right decision.

It was 100% the right decision.

Right?

#chris evans #chris evans fic #fanfiction #clear the area #sarah bernette #chris fic #chris evans x original female character #evans fic

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deliberatelyvague · 5 years ago

Text

Spotlight (Asmodeus x fem!reader)

Started: April 5, 2020 at 7:42pm

Ended: April 5, 2020 at 8:50pm

Word Count: 2,030

Shipping: [Asmodeus x fem!reader]

Trigger Warning: cutting, eating disorder, (notes of) depression

Author’s Note: Uhh so here’s another one. I enjoy writing stories, so please, continue requesting!

Prompt/Request: OK SO IDK WHICH ONE I WANT TO REQUEST SO IM DOING BOTH. Can I request a mc x asmo scenario where mc is a super duper popular idol but it’s later revealed that in order to keep her beauty she develop an eating disorder and started to develop depression resulting in cutting her self?? Sorry for the weird ask!!

—————

You had always heard the saying ‘beauty is pain’. You didn’t realize how much pain it was, however, until you got down to the Devildom. Of course, you weren’t totally off Scott-free, your fans still expected some content, and you were in no place to deny them that.

Now, you loved the majority of your fans. They always backed you up, defended you and the link, but there was just somethings they couldn’t defend you from. Including yourself, unfortunately.

Getting famous started moderately fine, you went viral because of your singing videos, and you guess some modeling businesses enjoyed your looks and attitude enough that they asked if you could do some shoots. From then on, it was a whirlwind of sessions, meet and greets, starving yourself and self harming.

That last part was relatively new, and it was caused by some hate that you had received. Well, hate was to put it in modern terms. A tabloid had started rumors that you had gained weight, which wasn’t wrong (you were still growing and maturing, your body weight is going to fluctuate), but they stretched it beyond what it was and paired it with some terrible pictures taken with your guard down. It all mixed to create a terrible atmosphere, especially when other tabloids started to gossip about your weight as well.

Eventually it seemed that your weight was the only thing important. So, you started to cut down on food. You started to take walks and workout moderately regularly, and the results were almost instantaneous. You dropped a few pounds a week, your figure slimmed down and you had never felt better. But then, the opposite effect happened with the tabloids, talking about how much weight you had lost, but this time they were praising you. You loved that feeling, it’s why you continued singing and modeling anyway.

People called you beautiful and you thrived off the attention, which is probably why when you went to the Devildom you and Asmodeus hit it off so quickly.

You two were best friends within the first week you were there- and since he had a tendency of going partying after school and hanging out with other friends of his on some days, he never noticed how little you truly ate.

None of the other brother’s noticed, or you figured they didn’t.

But then something happened, you stopped losing weight as quickly as you had been. This sends you into spirals of anxiety, making you cut back more and more, exercise more. But it didn’t work. In fact, one week when you had weighed in, you had gained weight.

As you stared at that number flashing at you, the number that was only a pound above where it had been last week, you started sobbing.

Thoughts piled up in your mind about how you weren’t good enough anymore, about how your fans will leave you, about how Asmodeus would leave you. His friendship meant the world to you, and you would be lying if you told yourself that a friendship was all that you wanted from him.

But he was out partying with demons that were better than you, no doubt, ones that were skinnier, more confident, and yards better than you in everything.

In the back of your mind, you remembered the hater’s comments on some of your most popular songs, telling you about doing things to your body. You remember the tabloids gossiping about self-harm scars on popular actresses' bodies, and you thought about why they would do that. It’s said to be a pleasure source, something that makes the person doing it feel better.

You would do anything to feel actually, genuinely happy, for once, so before you even thought about it you had popped a blade out of the razor in the bathroom and pressed it to your hip. You almost never showed off your stomach, so it wouldn’t be that big of a deal.

You flinched away from the wound almost immediately, the pain coming in tiny spikes. But then, eventually, there was a bit of pleasure coming from it, watching little dots of blood pop up and drip down your hip and fall onto the ground. You cut yourself again, then once more.

You swallowed, breaking out of the trance the red lines had put you in before you realized that you needed to finish your homework. You cleaned up your cuts, sliding on a pair of loose-fitting joggers and a shirt you had taken from Asmodeus and padded over to your desk, sitting in the sodden chair, trying not to bother the cuts more than the pants would already. You quickly finished the homework, well as quickly as you could when every few minutes or so you would move slightly and the cuts would be agitated, and for a few quick moments you considered taking off your pants, but you didn’t know when Asmodeus would make his way to your room and come in without knocking like he usually did.

Though eventually you did change into some sleeping shorts, ones that almost fell off of your body, and that were practically bootie shorts.

“Doll, I’m coming in,” you heard Asmodeus’ voice through the door before he opened it. You were laying on your back on your bed, your head hanging off and your DDD in your hand.

“Asmo!” You called gleefully, his face immediately lightening your mood substantially. “How was the party?”

“It wasn’t as good as the one the other week, you remember that one, right doll? The one I forced you to come to.”

“Oh, yeah that one. I love that the first party you made me go to was also a rave. Go big or go home, right?”

“Of course! Now, Doll, what are we doing tonight? We could watch a movie and eat some unhealthy snacks?”

“Uh, we can watch movies, but I don’t really want to eat anything,” you told him, flipping around on your bed and sitting on your legs. He tilted his head and a frown formed between his two perfectly sculpted eyebrows.

“Oh? But Lucifer told me you didn’t eat tonight, you must be hungry?”

“No, I’m not really,” you assured him, but your stomach decided to betray you in that exact moment almost as if it was saying ‘don’t lie to him I am hungry’.

He looked from your stomach to your face with an unamused look on his face.

“[Y/N], he also told me that he’s never seen you eat, that you don’t eat dinner here at all. You know you don’t have to lie to me, right?”

The honesty in his voice and the look in his eyes almost broke you.

“I know,” he looked concerned, but didn’t push you. You knew you would tell him about your disorder when you were ready, hopefully if he had any idea about your disorder, he knew that too.

The two of you decided to do an at-home spa day, and he took you to his room. The two of you did face masks, hair masks, mani-pedis, and other things like that.

You had chosen each other’s nail colors, and you had picked an orange color to match his eyes, and he picked pink, using a holographic color on your ring figures. You liked that enough you did that on his ring figured too so you both would be matching.

While you waited for your nails to dry and picked out toenail polish, he asked you about any crushes.

“Oh, no, Asmo, I don’t really have my eyes on anyone,” you lied as you looked through the shades of blue he had. His eyes immediately lit up.

“Yes! Yes you do, I knew it! Who is it?” He said excitedly, and you shook your head.

“I knew you wouldn’t believe that. I’m not going to tell you because it’ll never happen, trust me.”

“Doll, how could you say that? I’m sure a lot of people would love to date you, to be able to call you theirs!” You shook your head, scoffing at him.

“Not this guy. I’m pretty sure he had his eyes on someone else, anyway.”

“Is it Lucifer? It does seem like he has his eyes on Diavolo, but I don’t know about that one, Doll. You still might have a chance.”

“No! It’s not Lucifer, I don’t have that big of daddy issues.”

“Who is it? Please, tell me,” he begged, and for the first time you actually looked at him. His eyes showed almost.. sadness. He seemed sad to be thinking about you with someone else.

You just shook your head.

“Asmo,” you let out, leaning back and looking at him. “It’ll ruin this.” He frowned.

“[Y/N], what do you mean?”

“Asmo,” here it comes, you just decided to let it out. “I like you. I really, really like you. But I understand if it weirds you out, if I’m not your type, I-”

You were interrupted when Asmo held the back of your head and brought your lips to his. You melted into his, and he put his hands on your hips and pulled you onto his lap. You let out a yelp when he pulled on you a little too hard, your cuts opening.

“Doll, what’s wrong?” He asks, before looking down at where his hands were, one of his hands having a little spot of blood on them and the shorts being stained with a little amount of blood. “[Y/N], what’s this?” You let his lift your shirt and pull down your shorts slightly, and he let out a small gasp, his face dropping as he took in your figure, one significantly smaller than it had been when you first came, and the multiple cuts you had on you.

“I, it’s just stress. The tabloids, the comment sections of almost anything when I post pictures, it’s all just a lot.”

“Doll, you could have come to me. Here, let’s fix you up a little bit,” he soothed, picking you up and making you wrap your legs around him, carrying you to his bathroom and dressing your wounds. You didn’t say anything to him. “When’s the last time you ate or drank anything?”

“I drank some water earlier today,” you tell him, and he smiles slightly and strokes your hair. “Good job on that, Doll. But we need to get some food in your stomach, okay?”

Your heartbeat sped up, and you shook your head, tears coming.

“No, Asmo, I can’t eat. Please, don’t make me.”

“I’m not asking you to eat much, please, I can’t have my girl dying on me. What about a piece of fruit and some more water?”

You looked at the floor for a few seconds.

“Can we watch something while I eat, and cuddle, please? It’ll help me take my mind off of it, I think.” He nods, and you both walk to the kitchen after fixing your clothes.

Grabbing your food and water you make your way to your room and turn on [TV show or movie] as Asmo sat on the floor, pulling you into his lap, his chest pressed against your back. He kissed underneath your ear.

Once you had finished the food, which took a bit, but it’s still down for now, he praised you.

“Good girl, Doll. Now finish the water and he can cuddle more.”

You finish the water and turn to him.

“Thank you, Asmo. For helping me.”

“Of course, Doll. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

————

This was written by me in no way trying to romanticize mental illnesses. I try to write what I feel would help me in the moment. I completely understand that mental illnesses don’t just ‘disappear’ when you’ve figured out that someone loves you or someone helps you once- that’s why I don’t write what happens after in most cases. If you are struggling, please reach out to anyone you trust, or call a hotline.

#obey me #obeymeoneshots #obeyme #obey me oneshots #obey me imagines #obey me x reader #obeymexreader #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo #shall we date #shall we date asmodeus #shall we date asmo #asmodeus #asmo #asmo x reader #asmodeus x reader #x reader

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diaryofabeautyfiend · 4 years ago

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I am posting up to chapter 18 of Small Time Witch. I don’t know if I’m done with it. I’ll say it’s. WIP for now. Hope you enjoy.

Small Time Witch (9)

Your tac suit was tight and stiff. Your fellow female agents told you it would smash your tits so much you would feel like you were suffocating. They were not wrong. You put up your hair and grabbed your jacket. Your bag was already by the front door. You had to keep moving because every time you stopped you thought of what you and Loki had just done. You felt like the suit was outright strangling you.

You knew what you were doing when you climbed onto his lap. You didn’t stop him when he made you come in his hand. You definitely were the instigator here. Not that he wasn’t a very willing participant.

Even still, every time you looked at him he looked away. He didn’t hide that he was angry with you. He had never said he loved someone outside of his family. Ever. You treated his words like they were meaningless. But, heaven help him, you felt so good.

You knew he was thinking about it too. It came in fragments. Your lips. How you tasted. The crackle of the current that ran all through his body when you came. He looked up at you and caught you staring. You quickly looked away. Your cheeks were blazing and your clean panties were staring to feel sticky. “Sorry” he muttered.

“It’s ok. You ready?”

“Yeah.” While you walked to the front door he shifted into his leather. A visible shudder went through your body. You pulled at the collar of your top. You half expected cartoon steam to billow out. This was going well.

The car ride over to the compound was silent except for you constantly skipping songs on your playlist.

“By Odin’s beard, mortal. Will you just pick one?”

“So I’m back to mortal now?” Good. Pick a fight.

He stared out the window, “What should I call you?”

“Nothing.” You opened your mouth to speak several times but the words wouldn’t come. Finally, “Why are you mad at me?” You already knew why. You were just a sadist and wanted him to say it.

“I’m not angry.”

“Wow. You really are the god of lies.”

“I’m not doing this.”

“We had better get it out of the way before we get to the compound.”

He took a deep breath and in a harsh tone said, “I am angry because not twenty minutes ago you were moaning my name and in just a moment I have to see you with him.”

“I thought you would be fine. You usually plow through anything you wish without a care.”

“I’ve never loved any of them.” That statement hung in the air for the rest of your ride. You settled on Miley and turned it up.

You arrived about a half hour earlier than expected since you were flooring it the whole way. Thor met you outside and could feel the tension emanating from the car. Loki got out and took his bag from the trunk refusing to look back at you. “How was the ride over?” Thor asked smiling.

“I am truly lucky to be alive. The mortal has a death wish:”

“Got you here didn’t I?” Thor looked at Loki walking away and back to you sulking by your car, “Is everything ok?”

“Yeah fine.” You slammed your car door and walked passed him without another word. He caught up to Loki who was still seething.

“Did you two have a fight?” Thor asked bracing himself. Loki pulled him aside so no one would hear.

“I professed my love then we had relations.” Thor was confused.

“And you’re fighting because...”

“Because she said she can’t trust me with her heart. So she chooses the soldier because he is a more dependable man.”

“So your reputation precedes you. Honestly, brother. What did you expect? You’ve broken my heart many times.”

“I’ve never said I love you to anyone.”

“She’ll come around.” Thor patted his back. Loki smiled remembering that was the same advice his mother gave him in his dream.

You met the other agents who were getting ready to board the C-5. Wanda saw you and ran to catch you. “Hey, y/n, you’re with us.”

“I’m going to ride ahead with SHIELD. I can’t be around everyone right now.”

“Why? Steve is ok. Didn’t you talk last night?” You took a deep breath and recounted your morning. She had no kind words to offer. No advice to give. She hugged you and said she understood recognizing the internal battle you had to fight.

Everyone was on the Quinjet ready to go. “Are we waiting on anyone?” Rhodey asked.

“No. We’re all here.” Wanda responded.

Steve looked around and didn’t see your face. “Loki, where’s Y/N? Didn’t you ride together?” Loki looked around and slightly panicked. He caught Wanda’s eyes.

Wanda kept her gaze on Loki, “She went ahead with SHIELD, Cap. She said she’d text you before they took off.” Steve looked at his phone and smiled at your text.

Y: Hey, Cap. I’m a nervous wreck so I thought it would be best to electrocute an intern instead of getting you again. I’ll see you at base camp.

SR: Nothing to be nervous about but I appreciate you thinking of me. Please don’t electrocute any interns. ;) I can’t wait to see you. Let’s pick up where we left off last night. Safe travels.

He took his seat next to Bucky and they took off.

Loki kept to himself for most of the trip. Eight hours was a very long time to be alone with himself. Wanda finally came over. “She told me what happened. I’m sorry she feels the way she does.” Wanda whispered.

“I shouldn’t have ever said anything. I would have gotten over it. I shouldn’t have burdened her.”

“Love isn’t a burden. She loves you but she’s scared. She just has a fucked up way of telling you how she feels. You two really are meant for each other.”

“She thinks I’ll leave her. That she’s not enough to keep me on Midgard.”

“Have you given her reason to think you have no intention of staying?”

Thor plopped down in the seat opposite them and put a finger up to silence Loki, “I was eavesdropping on purpose. Well let’s see: You have no permanent home on Midgard. You’ve never lived with a woman other than Mother. You’ve never been in an actual relationship. Your continued drunken trysts with Lady Sif don’t count. You don’t know how to be in a relationship. You are selfish and have betrayed me more times than I can count.”

Loki buried his face in his hands, “So what am I to do? Stand back and watch her carry on with the soldier? Bide my time and hope one day she’ll want me? How did you know about Sif?”

Thor laughed, “It’s the worst kept secret on Asgard. You have to fight for her. It’s the only way.”

“Fight him?”

“No...” Wanda grew impatient with their bickering, “Fight for her heart. Earn it. Show her that you’ll never leave her. She’s lost everyone she’s ever loved, Loki. It’s no wonder she’s afraid of losing you too. So afraid that she’s pushing you away before you even get the chance to break her.”

Everyone chatted on. Loki stayed away from the crowd trying to somehow connect with you.

You found a seat off to the side so you could sleep. The plane was noisy but the constant droning was soothing. You watched the clouds float by outside of the window and tried to clear your mind. You couldn’t stop yourself from thinking of the two men. You made a mental list of all of their qualities. Surely in the realm of your life Loki would be the best choice. He knew your struggle. On the other hand Steve was patient and kind. Your heart wanted them both. Loki was the best choice but Steve was the safest. Safety was what you most desired in life.

As you drifted off you caught a faint whisper of a voice. It floated like the clouds around your brain and warmed you to your very core. You closed your eyes and said you loved him too.

#steve rogers fanfic #captain america x reader #marvel witches #mcu x reader #loki laufeyson #loki x reader #marvel #steve rogers x reader #captain america smut

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dumbfuck-mojave · 4 years ago

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FNV Companions React to Someone Being Aggressive Towards Rex.

@spidester basically came up with this idea.

TW: Mentions of violence against humans and animals. Some sexual flirtation. Swearing is the norm at this point

Fucking IDEK if these are out of character anymore we just roll with it. Also, shitty and inconsistent writing and react length ahoy. Also yes I lied and said this was going to be out last night but I got sick please understand-

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Arcade: Six had dragged him into Ultra-Luxe because once again, they were being stupid and trying to beat some sort of goal they had set for themselves earlier that day at the gambling tables. Rex had also come in with them, but had wandered off with his snout up in the air towards the kitchens. While Six was focusing on the Blackjack table Arcade heard a sudden yip and bark behind him and turned to see two people laughing and kicking the poor dog. They weren’t dressed like the people that would usually gamble here and they certainly weren’t a White Glove, so Arcade just assumed they were some travelers that didn’t know Six’s reputation and love for their canine companion. Also angry at the situation unfolding, Arcade briskly made his way over to them.

“Excuse me-”

“Fuck off.”

Now, that made Arcade very unhappy. Honestly, he expected them to be rude, but was still a little surprised at how quickly they shot him down, not even trying to start an argument or anything. Yet.

“Listen, gentlemen.” Arcade said sharply, “I suggest you leave now because you’d much rather deal with me telling you how vile of people you are than for my friend over at the Blackjack table getting word of what you’ve been doing to their dog.”

“Oh, tough guy, eh? Well guess what, we don’t give a shit about what you or your idiot friend have to say!” The taller of the men sneard, getting right up in Arcade’s face. “Fucking forget it, the dumb dog isn’t worth our time. They ran out of booze a while ago anyway.”

Arcade gave them a look of disinterest as the semi-stumbled out the door. He made….. eye contact?..... with one of the masked servers when he looked away from them, who also seemed relieved that the two men were gone, probably because they had trached dust and mud throughout the entire main room. Making his way back to Six, Arcade was going over scenarios in his head about what Six would do once he told them. Turns out one of his guessed scenarios was true. He did know Six very well after all. Unfortunately for the men, they had decided to sleep naked that night and Six had found out where they were staying through a few connections. A few hours later the men’s clothes were strung up on and lit on fire in the middle of Freeside, with the neat edition of shoving several hungry geckos into the men’s hotel room. The men ran out into the Mojave, naked and with a few flesh chunks missing from their body, while Rex gnawed happily on his Brahmin Steak in the Lucky 38.

Boone: A Legion party had ambushed them just outside of Red Rock Canyon as they were making their way towards Vegas from Goodsprings. The system they had was working well enough, Boone had managed to climb his way up on the hill to the right of the road and was sniping them from afar while Six was up close with their ripper. It was hard to get solid damaging headshots on them since they were those dumb helmets, but if he got lucky Six would get close enough to rip one of their helmets off so he could get a clear shot through their skull. Usually, there were 4 Legionaries in a party but Caesar must have really wanted Six dead at this point, so they were currently being surrounded by at least 12, possibly even more. As Six drop-kicked two legionaries into each other, Boone noticed one of the other Legionaries targeting Rex and backing him up against the Canyon wall. Luckily for Boone and unfortunately for the Legionnaire, there was no helmet in sight. Boone lined up the shot and it entered the target’s head with a whiz and a squish. As the now-corpse fell to the ground, the group of three reorganized amongst the carnage. Rex sat down at Boone’s feet and looked up at him, mouth open and panting.

“Don’t look at him like that.” Boone said in a monotone voice, making the Courier laugh beside him.

“Boone, you’re talking to a dog.” The Courier started on their way once again to Vegas, looking down at the dog now trotting beside them.

“You want to go see the King Rex?”

*Bark*

“Look who’s talking to the dog now.”

Veronica and Cassidy: The girls had decided to hang out together today, without the Courier. They also had Rex in tow and were currently sitting at the Atomic Wrangler’s counter. Both of these women were at least three bottles in each already and their laughter poured through the casino as Veronica slouched over and snorted at one of Cass’ merchant stories.

“There is *snort* there is no way he did that.” Veronica wheezed out, falling into another fit of laughter.

“He did! He just grabbed that fucker by his-”

Their conversation was cut off when a man walked over to them. Much too confidently, I might add. They both looked up at him in disgust and annoyance.

“So, what are two beautiful ladies doing out here all alone. You know, why don’t we all go upstairs and have a little *fun* together. ” The man leaned in so far he almost touched noses with Veronica. Rex had been sitting idly with his head in his paws on the floor until this moment. When the man leaned in, Rex growled and stood up, brisling at the man.

“Dumb dog.” The man grumbled, swinging out his hand and hitting Rex in the head. Now no one knew if the man had meant to hit Rex so hard that he slammed his glass dome into the counter, but it didn’t matter now. Veronica pushed up off the counter and shoved the man back.

“Who do you think you are?! First, you come up to two ladies who are CLEARLY disinterested in you, interrupt their good time, then you have the audacity to hit our dog?!” Veronica practically yelled, drawing attention from several others in the room. Two people in particular had the look in their eyes that was almost begging to see a fight.

“Listen, girlie, I do what I want, ok?” The man growled, cut off by Veronica shoving his back against the counter, “Oh, girlie, you want to start right now?”

“She doesn’t want to do anything with you. Nobody would.” Cass said as she finally stood up, looking over Veronica’s shoulder.

“Now come on ladies, no need to fight over me.” The man slurred, the beginnings of a wolfish grin on his face.

Now, Ronnie may be small but she has a power fist and can fuck some people up. In a flash, the man was on his knees with both arms straining behind him, courtesy of Cass. Veronica unveiled her power fist and a spark of fear appeared in the man’s eyes as she swung it dainlity near his temple.

“I could swing my fist sideways right now.” She started swinging faster and more aggressively, “And give you a good lesson about how to treat others around you with an indent on your head to remind you.”

“N-No!”

“Oh, come on. I’m sure it would be no trouble for my friend here.” Cass sneered, tightening her grip on the man’s arms, making him squeal out in man.

“Please, please! No!”

As the once confident man was damn near sobbing just at the prospect of getting hit, Veronica and Cass looked up at each other and grinned. Dragging the man outside, Veronica used her unarmored fist to hit him into a puddle of… something. The man stumbled to his feet and looked back in fear at the doorway. Then sprinted off.

“DAMN! NEXT TIME YOU START A FIGHT YOU BETTER BE ABLE TO FINISH IT!” Cass yelled after him before they retreated into the casino once more.

. On their way back in, two figures walked out the door, following the now out of sight man. Sometimes, if you want to see a fight, you just have to start one yourself.

Ed-E: *Pulls out laser canon* “Beep beepbeep bop'' Translation: “You bitch ass motherfucker”. Even if Rex sometimes drools on Ed-E or accidentally whips a ball at it’s shell, Ed-E will still protecc and attacc.

Lily: Ok no but honestly and sorry to disappoint but any scenario involving her reacting to this is just them fighting, her calling the Courier Jimmy, then absolutely rocking the perpetrators shit. Like, tear that person in half grandma. I wanted to write a longer thing out….unless

Raul: He and Six had decided to stop at 188 Trading Post for the night instead of attempting to walk all the way back to Vegas. They were low on supplies, tired and hungry, and Raul’s back was acting up again. Samuel was nice enough to let Raul lie down for a bit on one of the mattresses behind the bar while Six was focusing on cleaning their weapons and bartering. Just as he was about to drift off, he heard Six’s voice speak up above the radio.

“Don’t touch my goddamn dog like that!”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do you fucking piece of shit! Oh fuck-”

Raul stood up and peered around the corner to see a rather interesting sight. Six was straddling some random man and aggressively slapping his hands away when he tried to reach for them, all while screaming every obscene thing they’ve ever been taught, even some things in Spanish thanks to Raul. Samuel was looking very concerned at the bar, not wanting to get directly involved in this mess while Rex was barking his head off in the man's face. After Raul managed to drag Six off the man, he found out the man was an associate of Alexander and was talking about making a deal with him when Rex came up to him to sniff his hand. Agitated, the man reached down and put his fist around Rex’s muzzle, yanking him up on his back to legs. Nothing escalated past that point as Six had entered the picture by then. They eventually decided to just walk back to Vegas that night and extend their break home, but damn if Raul wasn’t impressed and kind of flattered at the way they gracefully told a man how they were going to cut out this tongue and feed it to rats. Raul is dad.

(The insult thing was definitely a nod to one of @nuclear-reactions posts)

Thank you for reading! Requests are open!

#original writing #fallout writing #my writing #fallout companions #fallout companions react #companions react #companions react to #tw: animal abuse #animal abuse mention #cw animal abuse #characters react #craig boone #raul tejada #veronica santangelo #rose of sharon cassidy #lily bowen #ed-e #arcade gannon #rex

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imbellarosa · 4 years ago

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The Larry Song by Van McMann

Or, that one time you accidentally wrote your best friend and bandmate a love song about being on tour without him and he tweets about it confirming it. This review is especially dedicated to @dalek-in-heels because she had to hear me talking about how I’ve been listening to this song FOR DAYS and wanted to talk about it. Oooh oooh and also to @belgianreader2 because we actually are 7 hours apart and although I’m not writing her love songs just yet, this song always makes me laugh bc I think of her. It is, as always, all under the cut because i have A LOT of words and don’t want to clog anyone’s timeline.

SIDE NOTE: I’ll be back to political content in the morning, I just need to post something for myself right now. If you’re looking for a way to get involved tonight, The Rolling Stone actually compiled a great list here. If you match my donation from earlier today or a donation that I made last week, let me know and I will write a prompt for you, if you’d like it.

Okay, onto the song. The first thing I should clarify is that the song is not actually called Larry - it’s called 7 and its by a rock band (a british rock band? maybe?) called Catfish and the Bottlemen. I’m not actually lying when I say it’s by Van McMann, though, because that’s the lead singer, and sole writer of this song. I call it the Larry song in my head because the first line of the song is “Larry call a load of smoke in/I want to lose a couple days/I know we never struggled coping/but I never want to.”

I know that it’s about a dude named Larry for a couple of reasons: the first is that it’s literally in the song. So. There’s that. The second is that both Van and Larry confirmed it. Larry Lau is Van McMann’s best friend and the guitar technician for the band. Van confirmed it here in an interview for Radio X in the UK, and Larry Lau tweeted on April 19th, 2016: “Ahahah funny as when your best mate puts you in a tune then it goes all over the radio #lotofshoutouts” (the tweet also had a bunch of emojis that didn’t copy paste well, but they are: a phone - you’ll see why later - a cloudy sky, an alien, and the number 7).

The thing is - this song is called 7 because of the timezone difference. And here lies the actual story. This song is about their relationship while Van is on tour. (I have to assume it’s their relationship because his name is the only name-drop in the whole song. The only other name-drop in the album is the song “Emily”, which seems to be about meeting up to catch up with an old flame in a pretty sweet goodbye song. Yes. I listened to the album, debated if I wanted to do a review, and decided that actually, I liked this song the best and wanted to focus on it. Sue me.). ANYWAYS. He talks about how: And I'd beg you, but you know I'm never home/And I'd love you, but I need another year alone/And I've tried to ignore it every time you phone/But I never come close/And I don't think through things, I never get time/'Cause I don't think things through...”

So that’s where the phone comes in haha! I also think that it’s really interesting how he talks about this relationship: just because he’s in love does not mean that he’s about to postpone his tour (his career, his life) for this relationship. And I know that some people might think that this means it’s not a good one or that it’s a sad song but...I actually think it’s very healthy? I mean, in the context of the album definitely, but we’ll go through some thematic stuff in a bit.

However, even as a standalone song, I think this is a very healthy attitude for a dude in his 20s to have. Or even a dude at the beginning of his career, no matter their age. Like. This is your chance man, so good for you for taking that. If your relationship is meant to be, it can survive a time difference and different ambitions and everything else that you have to do to grow and find yourself. Even if you need the year alone to do so.

On to the themes that I like in this song that are reoccurring throughout the album! The smoke thing. People speculate that “call a load of smoke in” means “let’s go smoke” (there’s also speculation that it means “throw a smoke bomb on stage, but in context of everything else, I don’t really think so?). I like the reading that “call a load of smoke in/I want to lose a couple days” means - let’s go do our thing, I want to spend the next few days doing nothing together. The smoking thing comes back in the song “Anything” - also written by Van - where he says, “ I won't smoke if you don't no more/'Cause I know you hate the taste of it/And I don't wanna picture our first born/If you've stopped discussing names with me/But if it means that we get through then you know I'm up for anything”, and in his song “Soundcheck”, he mentions that he’s rushing through rehearsal to meet up for a cigarette break (which, if that song is also about Larry, it would make sense? because they would be working together? and so they could have a smoke break together).

Let’s discuss: I think that it would make sense that this is both an activity they do together, and a habit that they try to break, depending on how their relationship is going. For example, if they’re doing great, and they can’t stay away from each other, then it’s “call a load of smoke in” or “let’s go meet during your break” (that’s not the lyric, sorry haha). But if their relationship is going sour, then it’s “do you need me to stop smoking? what can i do?”. And I think that’s a very normal reaction for a twenty-something-year-old person to have? It smacks of obsession and insecurity and love. You want to be with them at every moment, even though you know you can’t be. You understand that you have to do your thing, but you’ll do it a bit faster if you get to have a couple of moments with them, and if things are going not so great, then, well, you start obsessively reflecting on what you think you might need to change about yourself.

Another theme that keeps popping up in the album is thinking things through. Like, Van is clearly an impulsive person. He says here “I don’t think through things, I never get time”, and he says in the song “Twice”: “ 'Cause when you love the way you’re living/It's just hard to fret about much/Because if I got time I just regret most of it”, and then he goes on to list a bunch of mistakes he made. Hey, at least he’s self-aware, you know? I don’t really think this is significant to the story of the song other than it gives a bit of context to the person writing it. I also don’t really know anything about either of these guys personally, other than the interviews and such that I’ve found, so if i’ve just messed something up massively, please let me know haha.

ANYWAYS - to close! This song also includes gems like “I know we (Larry and Van) never struggled sleeping/But I never want to..”. Which like, ah, yes, I too tell my completely platonic bro and bandmate that I never want to struggle sleeping with them! Of course! Happens ALL THE TIME.

Nah, but really. It’s a great song in a pretty good album (the other songs I referenced are “Anything”, “Twice”, “Emily”, and “Soundcheck”, all of which I really enjoyed. I also liked “Postponed”, but be warned - that’s a sad song pretending to be a happy one). I searched, but I couldn’t find a relationship history for either Van or Larry, and apparently, they’ve been friends since childhood, and I think I’ve read this story once or twice. Or maybe seen the movie? So that’s what I have to say about that.

My final thought is that I would have paid an indescribable amount of money to see the rest of the band listen to the song the first time around. Like. Imagine the glances that the rest of them shared like ... “uh... who’s going to tell him this is a love song?”. I would also LOVE to watch this song get performed live because I think that would also be remarkably telling, and also because it would make me giggle uncontrollably.

This song comes from an album called “The Ride”, and it’s followed by an album called “The Balance”, which I haven’t finished, but is also pretty ok. Anyways I need a ship name for these two so if anyone has one I really want to hear it. Is Lan cooler or Varry? Or Vanry? or McMau if we’re doing last names. Actually, McMau seems pretty cool.

#7 #catfish and the bottlemen #van mccann #larry lau #song recs #and album recs #i say things #seriously if i tag varry is that a thing?#like i dont think im ever gonna talk about these two again #but this is the funniest thing #ive heard in a while #like oops i wrote you a love song #and the other dude is like MINE THE SONG IS MINE ITS FOR ME #in case anyone was gonna get it twisted

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turning-dreams-into-chaos · 5 years ago

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Control

*Not my Gif*

Request: Your writing is amazing!!! Can I request an imagine with Peter Parker where the reader is his best friend & is secretly in love with him (and also has powers & is a hero)? But then she sees him with MJ & her heart breaks & she suddenly distances herself from Peter, MJ, & Ned & nobody knows why? Then maybe the reader gets badly injured because she has a breakcown & lost control off her powers and hurt herself real bad? Then Peter realizes he loves the reader and can't bear to lose her?? Thanks!!!

Requested By: @canyouevencauseicant

Post Date: 7-13-19

Paring: Peter Parker x Reader

Word Count: 6K

A/N: Hi! Sorry I’m a little behind on a few requests! Hope you like this and it’s what you wanted! I kind of got carried away a little... 😂

- Ria

~Prompt List~

~Master List~

Requests are closed

You pushed the grapes on your tray around with your fingers as you slumped into your hand, staring at the one person who could make you forget the world around you. Peter Parker. That is until Ned makes you look away.

“Ow! Ned what the hell?!” You screeched as your head smacked against the table under you after Ned pushed your arm away. Ned just smirked as he bit into his burger.

“I’ve been trying to talk to you for 5 minutes and you have just been staring off in space. What are you even looking at?” He asked as you blushed. You hadn’t meant to be staring for so long.

“Just thinking about the science project.” You lied, finally shoving your grapes into your mouth as you face him. “What were you talking about?”

Ned began his speech again as you tried not to space out again, casually taking glances towards Peter, who was speaking to a teacher, every time Ned wasn’t looking. “... so how does that sound?” He finished as you blinked, realizing you weren’t listening once again.

“That sounds great Ned.” He raised his brow at you, causing you to sigh at being caught. “Ok, I wasn’t listening. Again.”

“Is it the team?”

You groaned at Neds guess, knowing it wasn’t the team, but instead someone on the team. “Something like that.” You grumbled avoiding his eyes as you focused on your food. Ned shrugged it off as he ate as well, keeping his eyes on you as Peter came over.

“Hey Y/N! Did Ned talk to you about tomorrow?” He said as he sat down across from you. You gave Ned a questioning look as he nodded, finally figuring out he was trying to.

“He tried to but I wasn’t making it easy.” Peter looked between you and Ned as you looked at your food, Ned shrugging once again as their eyes met.

“Ok. Well, we were gonna watch Star Wars at my place and wanted to know if you were coming or not.” He explained as you chuckled.

“Come on, Pete. You guys are my best friends, you know I never miss Star Wars nights.” He smiled at your comment and your heart skipped a beat at the warmth coming off of him. How can someone be so perfect! You returned the gesture before coming up with an idea. “Why don’t we just watch it at the tower?”

Ned grew more excited next to you as Peter and you shared an amused glance. “Do you think Mr. Stark would let us?” Peter questioned, growing concerned as you guffawed.

“The only time Tony can tell me what to do, is when he’s speaking through the earpiece and I’m on a mission. Other than that, I’m 17, if I want friends at my house, then I can have friends over.” You challenged as you stood up to throw away your garbage. Peter watched you leave, the smile fading on his lips as you called the tower your home. He knew you had problems at your house and was living in the room Tony had done for you for years now. He knew your parents hated your powers, hated how you could produce fire and create and control explosions. They always thought you would harm them or your sister or something, but that would only happen in extreme cases, a case you hadn’t fully reached yet. Peter furrowed his brows as he tried to think of the last time you had actually went home to see your family. It must have been around 6-7 months ago. “So, What do you say? Tower?” You take your seat across from Peter with a smile on your face. Peter’s thoughts left his head as he looked at how happy you were, you were never this happy when you were living with them.

“Sure.” He nodded and chuckled a little. “I’ll tell MJ we’re going to the tower instead.” Your smile faltered a little at his words, having seen Peter stare relentlessly at the girl and you couldn’t help but be jealous.

“Oh, MJ’s coming too?” You bit your lip and hoped the boys didn’t see the disappointment in your words. It’s not that you didn’t like the girl, she was your closest girl friend and right after Peter she and Ned were tied for your 2nd best friend. She knew you were in the avengers, having found out a few weeks after Tony let you come to Midtown, but she didn’t know about Peter being Spider-Man. At this point it was only Ned and May who knew outside of the team. Peter nodded at your question, luckily not catching on to your shift in voice.

You glanced up to see MJ heading over to you all before grabbing your bag, slinging it over your shoulder as she reached the table, arms crossed as you stand up to leave. “I forgot I needed to go to the library for a book for the AP History project. I’ll see you three around right?” You gave MJ a smile as she sat next to Peter, who just looked confused now.

“What project? We didn’t have a project in that class!” He yelled as he grabbed his bag, well intending to follow you to learn about this so called project. Your eyes widened as you stammered out a fix to your mistake.

“S-Sorry, Not-t History, I meant uh, Science. Yeah Science. I should go before lunch is over.” You quickly turned and left before Peter could say anything, watching as you disappeared from the cafeteria.

“She’s acting weird right?” Peter huffed as sat back down next to MJ, who put her hand on his arm.

“Maybe, but then again it was an important project and I’m sure Y/N is just stressed about it. Also about the History test.” Peters eyes nearly tripled as MJ stifled a laugh, Ned’s eyes rolling as Peter tried to grab his back again but MJ just blocked him from standing up. “Dude. Chill. I’m just messing with you.” She laughed as Peter blushed as he looked at the girl.

You had left a folder on the table during lunch, getting halfway to the library before realizing and turning back, only to see MJ and Peter laughing and Peter’s eyes remained locked onto her. You couldn’t help the sinking feeling in your stomach. You were in love with your best friend and all you wanted was him to love you as well. But he wouldn’t because he was already in love with someone else. You blinked away tears as you decided to leave your folder, hoping Pete would just bring it to the tower later for you.

The rest of the school day went by faster as you stopped paying attention, choosing instead to focus on drawing. You found out when you were much younger every once in a while you needed something to do to calm your powers and when you discovered you could draw pretty decently, you wanted to do more. Now it was probably one of the main things you do and you loved it, always choosing to draw the people or the scene around you. Your favorite person to draw was Peter, you loved the way his curly chocolate locks framed his face or his nose would scrunch up when he was studying or laughing. But you especially loved to draw his brown eyes, always being sure to give them extra attention. He loved when you would draw him, always saying you looked cute as you would focus on the picture instead of anything else. You could feel the redness creeping up on your face every time he called you cute but you knew he didn’t mean it in the way you wanted him to, just saying it as your best friend.

You found yourself back in your room at the tower, surrounded by scattered charcoal drawings and sketchbooks filled to the brim with pictures of Peter, Tony, Ned, MJ, and a few others of the team. You hadn’t realized what time it was as you finished your latest page of Tony, flying in his Iron Man suit with the big blocked letters of his name at the top. You prided yourself in your work before the man himself was knocking on your door.

“I know you were probably to wrapped in your drawings to hear FRIDAY tell you diner was ready so I was sent in to get you. Let’s eat.” He smirked as you mumbled an apology, instantly throwing your stuff down as you hop off the bed. Tony had somehow gotten closer to the bed before you had realized it and picked up one of your favorite drawings. It was one of Peter after he fell asleep in your room, you were playing a card game as you tried to ignore the homework you were given before you both nodded off. You had woken up a little earlier than him, choosing instead of waking him up to just draw him.

You were still staring at the picture in front of you as Tony snapped in your face, trying to get your attention as you blinked yourself back into reality.

“When are you just gonna tell the kid Y/N?” He sighed as he dropped the paper onto the bed. You furrowed your brows, tilting your head as Tony smirked at you again. “Just tell Parker you’re in love with him already.” Your jaw dropped as he left your room, using his arm to beckon you to follow as you did, without saying anything. You sat through dinner in silence, choosing not to look up at anyone as they rambled on and ate their pizza. You had only eaten one slice before deciding you had enough, excusing yourself before heading back to your room. You pushed all your stuff to the end of your bed, careful not to ruin any of the pictures but not in the mood to clean up completely, before falling face first into the pillow underneath you. You drifted off to sleep before the buzzing of your phone on the nightstand next to you woke you up completely. You groaned as you slapped your hand onto the device, trying to turn off your alarm before realizing it was 1 in the morning. You groaned against the brightness of the screen, glaring into your face before you could even turn it down, and you saw a text from Peter.

Peter: Hey. u up?

You shook your head as you replied.

Y/N: I am now. :P What’s up?

Peter: sorry, didn’t mean to wake you. Just wondering if I could come over?

Peter hardly ever had to ask if he could come over, always swinging in and tapping your window.

Y/N: come on over Sticky boy

Peter: I’ve told you not to call me that :)

You laughed as you tossed your phone to the side, cleaning up your papers a little before opening your window so Peter could just swing in.

“I brought pizza. Mr. Stark said you hadn’t eaten much so I thought I’d bring you some.” He said as he landed on your floor. You gave him a smile and thanked him before you jumped onto your bed. Peter just stayed in your window, staring at you before you gave him an amused glance.

“You just gonna stand there and make he eat this whole pizza by myself or are you gonna join me?” He let out a shaky breath, confusing you more as he joined you on the bed, pulling the pizza box onto both of your laps as you ate in silence for a little while. “So what’s up? Why’d you text instead of just coming over?”

You fiddled with your fingers and avoided his eyes, to unsure of what he was going to say.

“I don’t know. Just needed to talk or something. You were the first person I thought off.” His voice was quiet and you grabbed his hand, ignoring the way your stomach did flips as his eyes met you. He thought of you first? You rested your head on his shoulder as his head fell onto yours, both of you closing your eyes as you listened to the sounds of your breathings filling the room.

“How was your patrol tonight?” You whispered as he shrugged underneath you. “Pete, what’s going on with you?” He froze as you sat up, turning to face him as he squeezed your hand.

“I’m just glad you’re my friend.” He said smiling as your heart dropped, but you didn’t show it, only smiling and nodding your head.

“Forever and Always Sticky Boy.” He laughed as you marveled in the sound, loving each second of it before you both fall into a silence once again. “You staying here tonight or heading back to your apartment later?” You asked as he yawned. He frowned as he looked down at your phone quickly noticing you both have been sitting here for a little over a hour.

“I have got to get back, May said I couldn’t stay at the tower on school nights after last time.” He mumbled as you pushed your face in your hands. You knew exactly what he was talking about. One night after Patrol, much like tonight, Peter had came into your room and you spent all night playing games and eating junk food. The next morning Tony came into your room to see you with your head on Peter’s chest and his arms wrapped around you, both of you 2 hours late to school. Tony found it hilarious and took a picture before kicking you both awake, throughly embarrassing both of you. Now, Peter hadn’t made any move to leave before you tried to push him out of your bed, both of you hushing your now loud laughs for the sake of the other avengers.

“Night Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Pete.” You whispered as Peter swung out of your window, watching as his figure flew against the night sky.

You woke up to Tony voice echoing through your room as you shove a pillow over your ear. “Come on Y/N. Hate to do this on a school day but we got a news of someone in Brooklyn and it’s our speed. Everyone else is gone and I need you now.” You heard the urgency in his voice as you jumped out of bed, slipping into your suit as you made your way to Brooklyn.

When you finally got there you scanned your surroundings until you saw Tony, finishing up with the bad guy as you sauntered over.

“So what? Now we’re just calling me down here for fun?” You joked as you looked down at the kneeling Bad Guy who didn’t even look all that taken down.

“You’re flame.” He spoke as you furrowed your brows.

“Yeah. Why?” You tried to ignore the uncomfortable feeling in your stomach as he stared at you.

“He had similar powers to you.” Tony whispered as the confusion never left you.

“How do you control them?”

“W-What?”

How do you control them?” He repeated as his eyes started to turn red, just like how yours turn orange. Tony took a step back as the man stood up towering over you as you took a fighting stance.

“By keeping my head. I take it you don’t control them?” He shook his head as fire began to circulate his hands, you soon copying his actions as you tell him to stand down. Tony’s mask flew back on his face as he watched the scene in front of him.

“I’m sorry...” the man whispered before fire erupted around him and within a second you had your hands out, taking in the fire he’s producing until you were both on the ground.

“Y/N! Are you ok?!” Tony yelled as you got up, looking at the passed out man a few feet away from you. You’d never met anyone with the same powers as you, some come close but his was the exact same and it felt... unstable as the explosion entered into your system.

“Yeah. I-I’m fine.” You huffed, hoping he’d believe you. His lips fell into a tight line as he checked you over, deciding you were ok. “I have to get to school. Even though I’m going to be late again. You got this covered Stark?” You nodded towards the man and pulled out your phone, scrolling through all the text messages from Peter as you told him you’d be late. Tony nodded as he patted your back, telling you to get to school.

You stopped at the tower to take a quick shower and grab your bag. It was lunch when you finally arrived, searching through the sea of students for Peter’s mop of a hair. You finally found it before your face fell at the figure next to him. MJ. She was sitting next to him as she laughed, slightly leaning into him as he threw his head back as he laughed as well. You watched as their eyes met, laughing slowly starting to stop as a smile landed on both of their faces. You felt hot. Heat rising from your hands up to your face as your breathing started to increase. ‘What the hell is happening?’ You thought as you rushed off to the bathroom. No one was in there luckily and you locked it, not allowing anyone else in as you turned on the sink, fingers hitting the cool of metal in the faucet and immediately noticing the difference in temperature. You gripped the edge of the sink, closing your eyes as images of MJ and Peter filled your mind. The burning smell had pulled you out of your trance, opening your eyes to your reflection in the mirror. An orange hue filling the area in your eyes. A gasp leaves your lips as you release the sink, seeing your shaking hands red from the heat it had produced.

“Control It. Control it Y/N.” You seethed as you clasped your eyes closed once again, letting the jealousy out of your mind as you step back leaning against the wall. You pulled out your phone, shooting Peter a text saying you couldn’t make it to school today before sneaking out of the bathroom, hoping to avoid your friends before you could leave. Unfortunately you made the mistake of heading down the hallway with your locker, seeing MJ and Peter chatting as he pushed a strand of hair from her face, her giving him an awkward smile before looking down at the ground. Peter just smiled before looking down the hallway towards you, but you were already gone, hurrying down the steps of the school and down the streets until you hit an alleyway. You fell against the stone wall as you held your shaking wrist, trying your hardest not lose control again.

Your phone buzzed as you realized Peter was calling you. You swiped on the screen before pressing the phone to your ear.

“Hey.” You started as you took a few deep breaths.

“Hey! I thought you were coming, what happened?” He asked as you heard Ned laugh on the other side of the phone.

You stood up as you headed back to the tower, taking your time as you talked to Peter.

“Yeah, I uh wasn’t feeling so hot after this morning so I took a day off.” You could hear him mumble something to Ned and MJ, probably telling them what you said before the ringing of the bell sounded throughout the phone.

“Hey I’ll talk to you later alright? Or see you tonight if I don’t.” He sounded rushed as you heard scuffing from his end.

“Ok. I’ll talk to you-“ you began before the ending tone echoed in your ear. “...Later.” You finished before shoving the device into your pocket. When you got back to tower you ignored everyone as you made your way up to your room, laying on your bed as Tony knocked on the door a few hours later.

“So, how was school?” He smirked as you groaned. You gave him a fake smile before falling back onto the bed.

“Oh it was great.”

“Did you actually get there or go somewhere else?” You sat back up as you leaned against the headboard.

You fiddled with your fingers as you avoided his eyes, not really in the mood to talk. He sighed before turning around to leave, finally remembering why he was here. “The kid’s here with your friends.”

You nodded your head, going into the bathroom to make yourself more presentable as you looked down at your hands. They weren’t shaking anymore but they were still hot, hotter than you would’ve liked. After running your hands under the water then through your hair you headed into the living room, seeing your friends arguing over which movie to watch first. You rolled your eyes as you laughed, Peter immediately hearing the sound and head perking up to face you.

“Hey! Come over here and help us pick out a movie!” He yelled as he smiled at you. You shook your head before nodding over to the kitchen.

“I’m just gonna get some food. What do you guys want?” You looked between them as they all shrugged.

Peter was the one who ended up answering your question. “Pizza!”

You scoff as you playfully rolled your eyes. “We had that that last night Peter, you’re getting something else.” You yelled as you walked into the kitchen, oblivious to the looks Peter had gotten as they watched you leave. You scanned through the fridge looking for anything before finding giving up, pulling out your phone to order pizza. “Ok, Parker. You win. I ordered Pizza.” You said as you plopped down next to him on the couch, his cheeks were still red as you glanced between them. “What did I miss?”

Ned and MJ just shrugged as the movie started. When the pizza arrived you got it and made your way back up. As soon as you stepped out of the elevator you noticed MJ had switched seats with Ned, sitting on the other side of the couch from you on Peter’s other side. You put the pizza on the table in front of you all and grabbed a slice before sitting back on the couch. As the movie progressed, you found yourself falling asleep, accidentally lying on Peter’s shoulder. You woke up to MJ’s laughs as you rubbed your eyes, realizing Peter and MJ were the only two awake when Ned stirred awake soon after. It was around midnight when MJ and Ned headed home, Happy giving them rides as Peter stayed behind to help clean up.

“I grabbed the work you missed today, but I kind of left it at home. Sorry.” You gave him a tired smile as you waved your hand, telling him it was alright. When the cleaning was all done he pulled you in for a hug, lasting a few seconds longer than normal before he pulled away. “Night Y/N.”

“Goodnight Peter.” You said as you took in your typical nighttime routine, Peter always being the last person you talk to before you both go to bed. But lately it just seems different, you believed Peter loved MJ and of they did get to together then soon you weren’t going to be the last person he said goodnight to. As Peter left the tower, the normal way, you couldn’t help the thoughts of him and MJ intruding your brain once again and soon your hands were shaking again. This time you weren’t burning up, so you decided to just head to bed and figure out everything in the morning.

You woke up being dosed with water as FRIDAY tried to wake you up. Tony storming in a few seconds later as you were standing on your bed, completely soaked as you wiped your hair out of your face.

“What happened?!” Tony yelled as FRIDAY stopped the water. You glared at the man as you crossed your arms.

“You tell me! One moment I was asleep and the next I’m soaking wet!” He could sense the annoyance in your voice as both of your eyes fell onto the mattress underneath you. It was burnt, really burnt. It didn’t even look like a mattress anymore. You looked at your hands, something that you seem to be doing way to much lately. “Tony...”

Tony didn’t know what to say. “When was the last time you’ve done that?” He whispered as he helped you off your bed. You shook your head, mouth falling open and closed as you tried to come up with an answer.

“A while ago.” You knew when it was. It was right after your parents kicked you out years ago. The first night you spent living outside before Tony found you a week later. Tony didn’t know this. He didn’t know that you had gotten to mad, so out of control that you almost killed a few people sleeping around you. That was when you knew you needed to be in control, but now you were so lost on why you were losing control so easily. “I have to go.” You said as you grabbed your phone and sweatshirt, thankful you hadn’t changed after last night. Tony tried to stop you but you were to determined and told him to just let you go. But he finally stopped in his tracks when you said you we’re going to see your parents before dashing down the street and into the early morning.

Peter decided to stop by the tower first thing in the morning, wanting to see if you wanted to hang out, but when he saw the burnt up bed through your window he knew something was wrong. He found Tony in his lab, not even caring about interrupting something as he begun to bombard him with questions.

“Mr. Stark! Where’s Y/N? She wasn’t answering my texts. And why was her bed all burned up? Did something happen? Is she okay?” He blurted as Tony turned to face him, Tony gave him a sad smile as he stopped talking.

“She just needed some time. There was an accident this morning and she said she was going to her parents house.” Tony explained as Peter’s stomach dropped. You were his best friend, you would’ve told him if you were going to see your parents, right? “But I went there and she wasn’t there. I tried tracking her phone but she ditched it.” Tony couldn’t say anymore before Peter was swinging through the streets, looking for you, only to see you sitting on a park bench.

“Y/N! What happened? Mr. Stark said there was an accident and you went to your parents house? Are you ok?” You stopped his ramblings when you nodded your head, not saying anything other than an I’m fine and it was nothing. The cool crisp air brushed against your heated cheeks and hands, still engulfed in red from this morning.

“I just want to be left alone for a little while Pete. C-could you do that for me?” Your frail voice made Peter frown, not wanting to leave you here distraught, but against his better judgment he did.

The next few days you avoided any calls from Peter, Ned, and MJ only texting in needed occasions. Peter was worried and constantly visiting the tower to make sure you were ok but you were hardly ever there, choosing to spend your time outside where you could try and keep your temperature down. Your friends had no clue what was going on. No one had any idea about your problems because you didn’t tell anyone, choosing not to let others deal with your problems. Unfortunately, Peter dropped by today and you just happened to be in the training room, working on your punches.

Peter tapped your shoulder, getting your attention before you spun around to try and punch him, not knowing it was him.

“Where have you been Y/N? You haven’t gone to school in a few days and you aren’t answering anyone’s calls or anything? A-Are you okay?” He released your fist as they fell to your side. You rolled your eyes, heading over to get some water as he followed behind.

“I’m fine Pete, just a little tired lately.” You lied as you downed your water. You headed back over to the punching bag as you resumed your workout, only for Peter to stand between you and the bag. “Come on, Peter. I have to train and you have to move.”

He sighed as his hands fell onto your shoulder, stopping you from pulling away and you tried your hardest not to fall into his welcoming embrace.

“Y/N, whats really going on? I’ve been talking with Ned and MJ and we know when something’s bothering you. I know when you’re lying Y/N, you’re my best friend!” His voice echoed in the room and you knew you were losing control. You turned around, back facing him as you drank your water trying to drown the screams in your head but it was no point.

You opened your eyes as they started to glow a recognizable orange. You turned to face Peter and his eyes widened, realizing your powers were coming out to play.

“Maybe I don’t want to just be your best friend anymore!” You yelled, completely losing control as fire had started to circulate your hands. Peter looked down seeing the fire in your hands then looking up to the fire in your eyes, your orange hue was clear in your eyes but there was more, an unrecognizable red was shining through as it moved about the orange sea.

“Y/N?” Peter whispered before you cut him off.

“Maybe I don’t want to sit here and watch you fall in love with someone else when I’m right here! M-Maybe... M-Maybe... M-M-May....”

Peter know something was wrong, your heart nearly tripled the rate as your breathing deepened, eyes clasped shut as grabbed onto his arm the fire on your hands slightly burning him but he held you up before you pushed him away.

“Peter, stay back! I’m not- this isn’t me! I’m not in control anymore!” He hated how desperate you sounded as you fell to your knees, hands resting on the floor as you yell to Peter to stand back. He didn’t want to but he stepped away, calling Tony to get down here as his eyes never left you. Your groans stopped as the fire around your hands became more intense, alerting you as to what’s gonna happen. You were going to make an explosion. You saw Peter, barely out of the way and you knew you couldn’t let this explosion happen. As soon as the fire began to spread from your hands into the air around you, you closed your eyes, sucking the energy back into your chest as Peter watched astounded. Soon your screams pierced his ears, putting his hands up to block his eyes from the light of the scene blinding him until he heard a thud.

You felt a weight on your hand as you tried to pry your eyes open, only to close them from the bright light shining through. You groaned as your hand pressed into your eyes, trying to figure out what’s happening.

“Y/N?” Someone whispered as you opened your eyes, blinking as you adjusted. Peter was sitting next to you, hand clasping yours as if he would let go he’d lose you. You were to busy staring at his eyes before you realized you were no longer in the training room.

“Pete? Where... where are we?” You asked, voice weirdly hoarse as if you hadn’t used it in a few days. Peter sunk into his chair as he squeezed your hand, making you even more confused. “Peter?”

“We’re in the hospital wing. You- You had an accident.” You sucked in a breath as you began to remember the previous events, losing control of your powers, taking in your own energy explosion, telling Peter you wanted to be more than best friends. Your wide eyes met his before his eyes started to get glossy. “I thought I lost you, Y/N... you’ve been here for a week. I thought you-“ he stopped as you joined him in his sobs, pulling him into you as you threw your arms around his neck, his wrapped tightly around your waist as you both buried your faces in each other’s shoulders.

“I’m sorry. I’m so-so s-sorry.” You cried as Peter shook his head. He pulled back as you saw the bags under his eyes and the red puffiness surrounding it. You were in control of your powers now, but you couldn’t control the flow of emotions coming out of your mouth right now. “Peter, I’m in love with you. I know that you like MJ and that you’re my best friend, but I’m lying to myself and you everyday I go out there and pretend you’re just my best friend. I-I’m sorry that I feel like this but-“

You were cut off by Peter’s lips on your chapped ones, quite surprised before you were realizing what was happening and kissing back. The butterflies in your stomach returned, and this time you didn’t bother pushing them away, instead using them to deepen the kiss you’re sharing. When you pulled away, you rested your forehead against his as you pulled your lip in between your teeth, missing the feeling of his lips on yours as your eyes fell closed.

“I’m in love with you too. I don’t like MJ like that, I like you like that. It just took you almost dying for me to admit it.” He flushed at his reveal, unable to look at you as your brows pinched together.

“But I thought... I mean I always see you guys together and you’re both l-laughing and you looked happy.”

He chuckled as he met your eyes, one of his hands cupping your cheek as the other stroked the back of your own.

“We were probably talking about you.” Your jaw dropped as he shook his head, wanting to go on before you could say more as he rubbed the back of his neck. “A while ago I started to get these feelings for you, around the time we woke up in each other’s arms. I thought it was just some crush you know that someone could get on their best friend. MJ kind of caught on to it after a while and was trying to convince me to say something, but I was convinced that you weren’t seeing me as anything other than your best friend. But then lately it seemed you could. I started telling her that and she was trying to help me ask you out. That’s why I was always laughing with her, she was just trying to help boost my confidence. It wasn’t until that night, when I saw you go down and not get back up that the thought of losing you tore me apart. I... I didn’t get much sleep. Mr. Stark tried to get me to leave here, but I didn’t. I couldn’t believe it took me losing you to realize I was in love with you.” His words died out as you wiped away his tears, him returning the favor.

You pulled his chin up to your face as you pressed a his lips against yours one more time, his tongue slipping into your mouth as you let out a slight moan before he pulled away. “I thought I lost you. I’m not ever letting you go again.”

You smiled as you pulled him onto the hospital bed next to you, facing him next to you as he put an arm around your waist, resting it on top of your side as you push yourself into him. “I’m here Pete. Forever and always.”

He kissed the top of your head as you fell into some much needed sleep. Peter mumbled against your head as you smiled, finally feeling in control again.

“Forever and always, Y/N.”

FEEDBACK IS WELCOMED!!

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into-control · 5 years ago

Text

Hi, guys 👋. To make things less confusing, I'll sign my asks off with a 🕊️ emoji from now on.

Below are most of the hints that I've sent so far so that you can see which ones were from me. (I may have missed a couple out as it was difficult to find them all again.) I also included any explanations of hints that I've given so far.

———

— A tip: I don't think that this has been announced anywhere yet, but Camila will be appearing as a musical guest on "Michael McIntyre's Big Show". — (I know this wasn't a hint, but I'll include it in here anyway. I sent this in because I thought it made sense to start off with something more direct and clear first to gain some kind of credibility.)

— (I also sent in another ask after this with the date that Camila's episode of "Michael McIntyre's Big Show" was most likely be aired. I can't find the ask now... Again, it was more of a direct statement than a hint. The 👍 in that ask was a minor hint for something though. I'll explain after the episode airs.)

— Something's coming very soon 📝. E 22 ... 26

EXTRA INFO:

— Quick clarification on this hint: After I sent in this ask, I sent in another ask separately that said "III". Looking back on it, the "III" should have been included at the end of the above ask as it's very relevant for one of the events that this was a hint for. (It's a double hint that refers to 2 different events, but the "E", the numbers, and the "III" mean slightly different things for each of the 2 events. The first one is happening soon.)

— 242 ➡️ 296 ➡️ 1511 ➡️ 2511

EXPLANATION:

— I can finally explain what this hint was referring to now. I saw that some of you guys guessed correctly that these numbers were dates. February 24th — (Living Proof was first mentioned in a tweet) ➡️ June 29th — (Camila posted a clip of Living Proof on her story) ➡️ November 15th — (Living Proof was released) ➡️ November 24th — (Camila's AMAs performance of Living Proof, and the release date of the Living Proof music video)

I hope I didn't confuse anyone with the slight mistake I made. (Typing "2511" instead of "2411"). I checked the dates of the first 3 events in that hint, but I didn't double-check the date of the AMAs as I was (mistakenly) confident that the upcoming Sunday was the *25th* November...

— "I want someone with a slow hand, I want a lover with an effortless touch" 💭 🔎

EXPLANATION:

— I guess I can explain one of my hints earlier than I expected! (I was expecting Camila's song choice for the Michael McIntyre show to be kept a surprise until closer to the episode's air date.) Ok, so I sent in this ask: "I want someone with a slow hand, I want a lover with an effortless touch". It was meant as a response to an anon who said they were wondering what song was chosen for Camila's performance, and whether it might be Liar or Living Proof.

The original lyric is "I want a lover with an *easy* touch", but I changed it to "I want a lover with an *effortless* touch". I was trying to draw attention to the fact that I replaced the word "easy". That was intended to be the main clue towards the song choice. I also chose that particular lyric because I think it ties in well with another lyric from Easy: "Touch me till I find myself in a feeling, tell me with your hands that you're never leaving".

After I sent in another ask saying that I'd explain in a few weeks, and I said something like, "I think it's pretty *easy* to figure out", which was supposed to be another subtle hint towards the song choice. Curious to know whether any of you guys figured it out? :)

— "Fool them once…"

— "Preventative measure is better than curative measure."

— (I answered a question about whether it's true that there's a song named "Tequila" on the album, and about what my favorite unreleased tracks from Romance are.)

— (I sent in a submission that I asked people not to reblog.)

— (I sent in an ask about how I'm going to be extremely busy in December, so I might not be able to come back and give any new hints.)

UPDATE:

— Long story short, a major decision was made which means I now only have two important deadlines to meet by late December instead of the original four I was given. So, although I'll still be busy, I should have enough time to drop in here once or twice a week throughout December.

— Endings often tie back to beginnings 1️⃣

— "Have you ever had a dream so heartbreakingly beautiful that it felt like agony to stay awake? I went to sleep, thinking about you, and I woke up just the same."

— In this world of lies, Truth is forced to fly like a scared white doe in the woodlands; **and only by cunning glimpses will she reveal herself**, as in Shakespeare and other masters of the great Art of Telling the Truth, **even though it be covertly, and by snatches** — Herman Melville.

———

— NOTE: I know that some of these hints may seem like random quotes, but every quote I've sent has been carefully chosen for a specific reason, e.g., for particular word choices in them.

The emojis I use almost always have specific meanings behind them too, and are a part of the hints.

Again, I would really appreciate it if nobody reblogged this!! (I'd rather keep everything on this blog instead of risking it ending up on Twitter or Instagram or certain other types of Tumblr blogs.)

#dove #submission

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latent-thoughts · 4 years ago

Text

The Pursuit of a Simple Life (Chapter 4 - The Morning After)

[Co-Authored with @emeraldrosequartz]

Rating: 18+ (there be lots of citrus here).

Warning: None

Pairing: Loki/Original Female Character

Summary: Three years after returning to Earth with the other Asgardians following Ragnarok, Loki finds himself working for SHIELD, truly just trying to fight the boredom. While on an undercover mission, he unexpectedly begins to fall for his co-worker, Gemma, and she seems to feel the same way…about Dave, his alter ego while in disguise. Can Loki continue a relationship with her while keeping his true identity a secret? How many lies can the ‘God of lies’ spin to keep his pursuit of a simple life?

[Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017); THOR IS A GOOD BRO AND TOTALLY NOT HOW HE WAS IN RAGNAROK, THNX; Infinity War Doesn’t Exist; Everyone lives]

A/N: Dave and Gemma get to (carnally) know each other some more; meanwhile, Loki's mission is nearing its end.

_________________________

IMPORTANT NOTES:

Bold Text = Loki’s POV

Normal Text = Gemma’s POV

________________________________

Gemma awoke when the morning light shone on her face.

Which was strange, because she didn’t have an east-facing window in her room. Nor was it large enough to cast THAT much light.

Also...her bed felt really comfortable. So much more comfortable than usual. The down blanket was wonderful and soft, and that heavy, muscular arm around her waist was a nice—

OH. MY. GOD.

Gemma’s eyes shot open, but she dared not disturb the other person in the bed with her. Everything from the previous night flooded back to her - the printer, Pizza My Heart, Dave’s car, Dave’s penthouse...

And the most amazing sex she’d ever had in her life.

Her breathing got shallow as she stayed completely still, totally freaking out. Dave was behind her, had his arm around her, and was still asleep.

Oh no....ohnoohnoohno what do I do???

Loki's sleep dissipated as the sun slowly rose through his window. He let out a groan, not wanting to wake up yet.

Instinctively, his arm tightened around the soft body he was clutching against his chest.

Oh... Gemma...

He slowly opened his eyes and looked at her as the sun kissed her face and hair. She was mouthwateringly lovely...

But he noticed that her body was stiff, and her breathing was erratic, even though her eyes were closed.

Hmm... she was most definitely awake.

"Good morning, sweet girl," he murmured in her ear, his voice a bit rough due to having just woken up. "Did you sleep well?"

He pressed his body into hers and his hand reached up to cup her breast. Norns, her skin was butter soft to touch. He couldn't get enough of it.

“Good MORNing!” she exclaimed as his hand went to her breast. Aaaand... she was wet.

This was moving WAY too fast...but she couldn’t bring herself to stop it. She closed her eyes and moaned a little as he toyed with her, squeezing his arm with hers.

“I mean...good morning, Dave. Fancy seeing you here...”

She giggled, then leaned back into him and turned her head so he could nuzzle her more easily. Instantly, she relaxed--he was awake and NOT frantically trying to get her to leave. This was already better than half the dates she’d ended up going home with.

"Mmmm, it's my home, after all, and I'm glad to have you here," he stated, nudging her ear with his nose, lazily playing with her nipple.

Already, he was hard as a rock, with the pleasures of last night playing in his head like a symphony.

"You didn't answer my question, Gemma. Did you sleep well? How are you feeling?"

In the back of his mind he was worrying a bit about having bruised her with his strength. Humans were fragile, after all.

“I slept great,” she sighed, a bit breathless from his erotic attentions. “And feeling better by the second...”

She could feel his morning wood pressing eagerly up against her back--could she take him again so soon? She wasn’t especially sore, but there was certainly some feeling down there that drew her attention--a far off, dull ache. If she went again, it could end up hurting more...she might not even be able to walk...

Worth it.

She reached back and took that firm column of flesh in her hand, squeezing with her fingers and pumping him with short strokes. His manhood stayed wedged between their bodies as she swallowed hard, still not fully awake OR fully believing this was reality.

He groaned and closed his eyes as she grasped him and began to stroke. This was... encouraging. It meant that she wanted his attentions again.

That made his heart soar.

"Baby girl, I want to be inside you when I come, not in your hand," he murmured, slowly nudging her hand away and pulling her lower half more firmly against his cock. "Do you want that too? Open your legs if you do..."

Her legs opened faster than a mall door on Black Friday.

“I most definitely want that!” she laughed, and she moved to help him angle himself toward her center.

But honestly...what was she doing? Giving herself to a practical stranger twice in less than 24 hours? She should know better, she should stop this and—

He pushed inside her, and suddenly none of that mattered. She moaned in ecstasy and took the sheets in fistfuls as her body writhed with pleasure.

“Oh my GOD, Dave...are you magic?” She knew it was a stupid thing to ask, but she fully could NOT believe he felt so incredibly good.

Loki chuckled at her remark, and then moaned as he went deep inside her. Well, he was magical in certain ways, but she didn't need to know that...

"I'm flattered," he sighed, thrusting into her slowly, taking care not to be rough. "Even though you look like a goddess against the sun."

He pulled her more firmly against his chest then, and hitched her leg back over his thigh to open her up further, letting him set a nice, rocking pace to their love-making.

"Mmm... just relax and let me take care of you, Gemma..."

“Oookay...” she sighed and let him set the pace, laying across him and simply enjoying the feel of his body against hers. God, his hands were all over her, and his cock was so thick and long. Who WAS this man?

Despite her doubts, there was something about him that made her feel... safe. She felt it the first time at Pizza My Heart, and again this morning. Maybe it was the constant praise--calling her beautiful, telling her she looks like a goddess, calling her “sweet girl”--or maybe it was the way he said it in his oh-so-dashing accent. Whatever it was, she felt herself going down a path she could very easily be lost down. The risk was frightening...and exhilarating.

Her pleasure slowly rose as he moved within her, and her moans and giggles changed gradually into swears and shrieks.

“Dave...Dave, I’m close...” she squeaked, that coil in her belly tightening to the point of near breaking.

"Me too, baby girl, come for me." He reached down to brush his fingers against her clit, triggering her climax. "Come all over my cock... that's it. Yes..."

He gritted his teeth as she cried out and clenched around him repeatedly, tugging him along in the orgasmic bliss.

Oh GOD how does he DO that?!

Her body went into spasms as she felt herself clenching around him, and she swore she might have thrown herself off the bed if he hadn’t been holding her to him.

He had so much control over her...and she found she didn’t mind it in the least. Quite the opposite, in fact....

He nuzzled her neck and inhaled her scent as they both enjoyed the afterglow. The sun was higher in the sky now, and he knew that soon, he'd need to get up and get ready.

At this moment, he really hated having to go to work...

"This is certainly a very good way to start a morning," he whispered in her ear, his hand splaying over her abdomen possessively. "And honestly, I don't want to let you go, darling. Oh, how I'd love to stay in bed and keep you on my cock for hours..."

He was being thoroughly honest right now... perhaps too honest. But he didn't care.

“Mmhm, me too.” Gemma said dreamily, still sex drunk and giddy from the morning fling. “I’d love to--OH MY GOD, WHAT TIME IS IT?!”

She suddenly jumped out of the bed and started looking around for her clothes...which she then remembered were out in the living room on the complete opposite side of the apartment WITH her phone and purse.

So she stood there, completely naked...and gave him a sheepish grin.

“Um...can I borrow that sheet? Or a shirt, or something?”

"Why? I'm rather enjoying the view," he replied, grinning at her lazily. When he saw the tell-tale blush mark her neck and cheeks, he finally relented. "You can take anything you want, but how about you join me in the shower? I need to get to work as well. It'd save us time."

He then pulled the covers away and rose from the bed, standing in front of her all bare and not at all caring about it.

She was stunned by his physique in the light of day. If she had seen this last night, she never could have brought herself to be in the same room with him, much less the same bed. She couldn’t tell if her face lost ALL color or was turning beet red. Not that it mattered - he was already heading to his luxurious bathroom.

“But...I’m...” she squeaked, trying to speak, but words wouldn’t form in her brain. Instead, her feet just...followed him while her mouth opened and closed, trying to say she was scheduled to be in the office WAY earlier than he ever was...and she was probably already late...

Nope. Nope, she was already in the bathroom, totally nude, and she still hadn’t managed to complete a sentence.

She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Next to HIM. Oh God, she felt like a miserable sack of potatoes in comparison--her thick thighs, her soft tummy...her boobs looked good though. At least there was that.

Then he turned on the water and a shiver rushed through her. So they weren’t done yet...

Loki smirked at her as he pulled her under the spray with him, holding her close.

"Why Gemma, you look like something got your tongue," he said, grabbing the bottle of shampoo from the corner shelf. "Are you ok?"

Turning the shower off, he poured a dollop of shampoo in his palm and started massaging it into her hair. A part of him worried about her sudden quietness, but another part just enjoyed tending to her.

If only he could have her like this again and again...

“Ooohhhh...”

She melted into him when his strong fingers began massaging her scalp. Finally, she gave up. This was worth getting fired for--she’d be kicking herself forever if she didn’t just enjoy this.

“I...I think I’m delirious. Or dead. Or maybe somewhere in between...” Her eyes fluttered closed as she capitulated to his touch, and she let out a heavy sigh of pleasure.

One thing was for sure--Dave made her feel great. She started wondering if he might want to do this more often...

He washed her hair gently under the spray of the shower and then began to soap up her body. She gasped and squealed once or twice when he played with her breasts or tickled her between her legs.

Really, she was adorable. He wanted to play with her all the time.

"Be good, baby girl," he murmured as he held her fast and washed her pussy, enjoying making her red in the face. It was obvious that no one had taken care of her this way, and all of this was new to her.

Well, it was kind of new to him too. His memory of past lovers was a bit foggy now, thanks to the quality time he had spent on the Sanctuary...

Norns, he didn't want to think about that now.

Letting that thought go, he concentrated on Gemma alone, specifically making her writhe in his hold as his fingers deftly teased her under the spray of water.

Now that was just mean.

Dave was teasing her mercilessly! Between the warm water and the soap and his hands and him calling her “baby girl,” she could barely stand upright. He kept her perfectly balanced on that precipice of casual playing and the drop off of lusty surrender. Right when she thought he was picking up the pace and she started losing herself...he pulled back and let her regain her senses. And all that stimulation built and built...

“Dave...please...”

She begged him to take her, though she didn’t know that was what she was begging for. Just the act of begging felt appropriate, and she didn’t know how much longer she could take this before she started crying from the overwhelming feel of it all.

He pulled her in for a long, deep kiss then, holding her flush against him.

Slowly, he gripped her ass and used his otherworldly strength to easily lift up in his arms, making sure that he didn't let her slip from his grasp. Just as their lips parted, he breached her again.

"Is this what you need, Gemma?" he asked roughly, bouncing her on his cock.

“YES!” she cried out, surprised by how easily he handled her. She felt as light as a feather - a feeling she’d never had before. Her head fell to his shoulder as she let out a long, needy moan.

She was approaching her climax again, but this time it felt a little different. He was being rougher with her, and there was definitely some pain along with the pleasure at this point...he was slamming her to the hilt. But much to her surprise, she LOVED it. The harder he was going, the more she wanted it.

She started to growl a little, losing herself to him...

What was happening to her?

Loki took her in a quick rhythm, closing his eyes under the water and just... getting lost in the warmth of her.

They came together, lips locked and bodies trembling in pleasure. He held her up till her breathing eased, and then slowly let her down. She almost collapsed then, but he grasped her by the waist and held her close.

"I think you should call it off today," he said with a chuckle as he steadied her. "Will you be able to go to work?"

“Will you?” she gasped as she relied on him to keep her from dissolving into a loose puddle of bones and skin on the floor of his shower. Because she could not FATHOM being able to do work after the last 12 or so hours of her life...how could he? She didn’t even think she could walk, much less have the wherewithal to function at that awful place.

“I mean...do you have to?”

"You know I have that pesky meeting later in the day," he sighed, kissing her forehead. "But it won't hurt me to be a bit late. Let's have breakfast together. Then, I'll drop you home and head to work. How about that?"

How was this even POSSIBLE? They had spent the night together, the morning together, and now breakfast together?

Suddenly, she realized what had been so obvious, but she had refused to believe. Couldn’t believe, until it was so unbearably obvious that it was unignorable.

He liked her.

He wasn’t just trying to get laid, or make himself feel better. He may actually, genuinely, honest-to-god like her...

Gemma got butterflies in her stomach, and she felt that telltale blush rush to her cheeks.

“Sure,” she said, still lightheaded. “I’ll text Oliver and let him know I’m having ‘lady problems.’ He never asks questions when I tell him that...”

Then...she remembered what she had worn to his place.

“So...did you want to go out to get breakfast, or eat here? Because I’ve still only got that Avengers t-shirt...also, what did you do with my underwear? And I’m not completely confident I’d be able to sit comfortably in public just yet...”

She knew she was rambling, but she kind of didn’t care.

Dave liked her!

"We'll have it here," he stated firmly. "I can make a decent batch of eggs."

After the shower, he made good on his promise of feeding her a healthy breakfast of a fluffy omelet and buttered toast. He had learned how to make it from one of those famous Youtube videos while he was getting acquainted with all things Midgardian.

"So Gemma... let me drop you home now," he said as he put the dishes away and reached for her. "And then I guess I'll see you around in the office tomorrow."

He didn't say it, but his words were laced with a silent, latent message that he wanted to take her again. He hoped that she would catch the hint.

“I guess you will.” She smiled back at him flirtatiously, taking his hand in hers and squeezing it. “I’m looking forward to it, Dave.”

_________________

"These are the drives that contain the information you'd consider gold," Loki stated as he relaxed against the visitor's chair in Nicholas Fury's office. "I'm going to head back there to close all loose ends. After that, it's all in your hands."

Fury gave him a shrewd look as he took the flash drives from him and checked them one by one on his computer.

"You still check everything like you don't trust me, Nick." He chuckled, picking up a paperweight from his table with his seidr and bouncing it up and down like a ball.

"Double checking is a habit of mine," Fury replied, ignoring Loki's antics with his government sanctioned office supplies. "I assume you'll visit Stark then. Your next cover is ready with him. You'll be an employee in his subsidiary. A very bland, mundane job."

"Again?" Loki rolled his eyes and groaned, sort of miffed, but also, kind of fine with this development. "What is the next mission about?"

"Don't be so eager. You will need to cool your heels for a while. Lie low."

Loki nodded. Espionage worked like that sometimes. Well, he was not averse to 'lying low'. He could spend that down time with Gemma, perhaps...

His mind wandered for a bit, recalling the wonderful, pleasureful time he had spent with her thus far. If only he could somehow make it a regular occurrence in his life; he'd have his cake and eat it too, and no one would need to know about it.

Just as Fury was finishing checking up on the drives, his intercommunication phone rang. He picked it up, sounding bored. But then his one good eye lit up and he gave Loki a sardonic smile.

"Well isn’t this a coincidence. Your brother just arrived."

For a change, Loki didn't react with annoyance towards this news. Actually, he was looking forward to catching up with Thor, eager to know what was going on in New Asgard.

"Well, that's all well and good. Tell him I'll meet him in the lounge."

______________________________________________________________

[PREVIOUS CHAPTER] Ch-1; Ch-2; Ch-3 [NEXT CHAPTER]

#Loki fanfiction #Loki fanfic #MCU Loki #TPSL Chapter 4 #TPSL #The pursuit of a simple life #Loki/OFC #Loki in disguise #false identity #Loki x OFC #Loki/Original Female Character #romance #fluff #angst #adventure #idiots in love #marvel #marvel cinematic universe

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blurry-fics · 5 years ago

Text

Chapter Seventeen

Realize That It’s Gone | Series Masterlist

Warnings: Angst

Word Count: 2331

Author’s Note: I just wanted to take a quick moment to say thank you to everyone who left comments on the last chapter because your reactions were absolutely priceless and I had a great time reading all of them :) and even if you didn’t comment, thank you for taking the time to read! Also, it’s worth mentioning that this post right here inspired a scene in this chapter and, as a result, affected the way things played out. Anyway, with that being said, I hope you enjoy this chapter :) (picture credit)

You slammed the front door behind you and leaned against it, immediately burying your face in your hands. Now that you were home, safe behind a closed door, you let out all the sobs that you had so carefully been keeping in. Tears were freely streaming down your face, soaking the sleeves of Tyler’s sweatshirt.

Tyler’s stupid sweatshirt.

You tugged the sweatshirt off your body - nearly pulling your t-shirt off with it - and tossed it into a heap at the bottom of the stairs. Chucking it at the ground loosened the knot in your stomach a little, just from allowing yourself to release a little tension. Now that the sweatshirt was off, you stomped up the stairs and let Georgie out of the laundry room. He immediately went sprinting past your feet and down the stairs.

Your brain was so muddled with thoughts that you couldn’t quite work out which emotion you were feeling. All you knew was that crying was the only thing making you feel a little calmer right now, so that’s what you were going to continue to do. Besides, you were home alone so it’s not like you were going to bother anyone.

You decided to get in bed and stay there until you finished crying. Nothing was going to be able to get you out of bed. Not even when you inevitably heard Tyler’s car start up as he finally left your house. Not Georgie knocking something over downstairs. Nothing. You were going to stay here until your tears were dried and you finally felt like you could get a clear thought through your head.

You were still in bed an hour later, although your tears had stopped long before that. As it turned out, wrapping yourself up in blankets - even despite the hot weather - was a good way to calm yourself down. Your thoughts were slowly beginning to work themselves out.

With a small grunt, you threw the blankets off of your body and decided to see what damage Georgie had caused downstairs. He had been surprisingly quiet, which you figured was more likely a bad sign than a good one. Still, you found yourself hoping you wouldn’t have to spend the next twenty minutes cleaning up some mess.

To your surprise, Georgie was curled up on the sweatshirt that you had tossed aside, fast asleep. He didn’t even stir when you arrived at the bottom of the stairs. Your shoulders instantly relaxed. At least that was one thing that you didn’t have to worry about.

The rain had picked up again while you were in your room. It was harder tonight, coming at the house sideways and soaking most of the deck. Sitting on the deck and enjoying the sound was out of the question, unless you wanted to end up soaked straight through your clothes. Instead, you decided to grab yourself some fruit and sit in the den where you could hear the rain pattering against the skylight.

Your mind wandered as you carefully sliced up strawberries. Tyler was in love with you. It was true, and you could repeat it to yourself as many times as you wanted. Even if there was still a whole mess for you to sort through, the thought of Tyler returning your feelings was enough to make your heart skip a beat.

He loved you. He loved you. He loved you.

The joy only lasted so long before you began to think of Josh. You had gotten his hopes up about the prospect of a relationship, only to realize that you were still in love with his best friend the entire time. That wasn’t so bad - some bad judgement on your part, sure - but it could be easily explained. People were unaware of their true feelings all the time, and that’s exactly what had happened to you.

But now, Tyler was involved.

What was Josh going to think if you told him you didn’t feel the same and then immediately ran into Tyler’s arms? It was going to seem like you toyed with his feelings just for fun, which had never been your intention. Josh was a great guy and you would have been totally happy with him if the circumstances were different, but as long as Tyler was around you should have known he was the one that was always going to have your heart.

Tears started to pool in your eyes again, so you stepped away from your fruit and began to fan your eyes. You weren’t entirely sure that it was going to do anything effective, but at least it gave you some form of distraction from thinking about how terrible of a person you were.

Ok, so maybe it wasn’t totally working.

You eventually managed to calm down and go back to making a nice fruit salad for yourself. There was no way for you to predict how Josh was going to react in this situation. Tyler might have talked to him about the whole thing without you knowing. Maybe that’s why Tyler had finally confessed in the first place.

You found yourself wishing that you hadn’t left Tyler alone on the sidewalk, but you also knew that it had been the right choice. Your thoughts had still been muddled and you had been angry - you still were a little upset, if you were being honest - and you hadn’t wanted to say something you would end up regretting. At the very least, you wished you had given him a chance to explain himself. He had looked so distraught when you exploded on him, and you hadn’t even given him the entirety of your side of the story.

You sighed. There were a lot of things that still had to be worked out, it seemed.

Once your fruit was cut up and everything was back in the fridge or cleaned up, you started to make your way back up the stairs. Georgie was still fast asleep on the sweatshirt.

“Hey, Georgie-bean,” you said, using the nickname you saved only for when he was being particularly sweet. “Can you get off my sweatshirt, please?”

Nothing.

“Georgie,” you whined. “Wake up!”

Georgie suddenly blinked awake and rolled onto his feet. He looked at you for a moment before running upstairs.

“Typical,” you muttered as you scooped up the hoodie and tucked it under your arm.

You grabbed a heap of blankets from your room and carried them into the den with you. Georgie was already in there, playing with some toy that he had managed to get stuck under the couch. He didn’t seem to mind as you collapsed down on the cushions and wrapped yourself up, leaving only your head and one arm exposed so that you could still eat your fruit.

You put on your favorite TV show to try and keep your mind occupied, but you still found yourself thinking over all the things you could have done differently to avoid this situation. You could have trusted your gut about your feelings for Tyler. Or you could have grilled him harder when he freaked out about your date with Josh, which you now realized he had almost definitely lied about being ok with for your sake. You could have even called him out when you had your big argument back in March when he claimed to only flirt with you because he felt bad - another lie.

Although you were upset with Tyler for how he had handled this entire situation, the person that you were really upset with was yourself. You knew Tyler almost as well as you knew yourself, so you should have recognized when he was lying to you. Then again, you trusted Tyler more than anyone. Why would you question the words coming out of his mouth?

You groaned and leaned further back into the couch. This was exactly why you had told him you needed time to work this entire situation out in your head. Every time that you thought you had figured out an answer, a new question decided that it needed to take its place.

You were about to exit your blanket nest and carry your bowl back downstairs when Georgie hopped up on the couch. He wasn’t running around, which was a surprise, but rather slowly making his way towards you. After a brief stretch, he climbed into your lap and made himself comfortable on the pile of blankets covering you. It was a rare occurrence that Georgie stayed still long enough to cuddle with you, so you knew there was no way you were moving from your spot now.

In fact, the combo of a cat in your lap, the rain hitting the skylight, your favorite show playing, and the blankets surrounding you proved to be the perfect thing to lull you into a calm sleep.

* * *

You were jolted awake by your alarm. At least, that’s what you thought it was until you grabbed your phone and realized that you were getting a phone call. It took you a second to read the name of the person calling; your eyes were still blurry from your impromptu nap.

Tyler.

You sighed and tossed your phone back down on the couch. Your tired state paired with the emotions of earlier that evening were far from ideal conditions to be talking to Tyler after your argument, if you could call it that. Instead, you just let the phone ring until it eventually stopped.

The clock in the corner of the room read 10:30, so you figured it was as good a time as any to start getting ready for bed. Georgie had already left your lap - probably to make a mess now that you were no longer aware of what he was doing - and Netflix had been asking you if you were still watching for an indefinite amount of time. You shut the TV off and slowly carried the blankets back down the hall to your room.

Georgie was already in your room, it turned out, once again curled up on your sweatshirt from Tyler. You took a moment to admire him, peacefully stretched out on the bit of dark fabric. It would no doubt be covered in cat hair the next time you decided to wear it, but it was worth it if it meant he was calm and asleep. It wasn’t often that he didn’t make a mess in the middle of the night.

You quickly got ready for bed, wanting nothing more than to be under your covers and listening to the rain quietly dripping from the roof as you fell asleep. Despite your nap not even ten minutes ago, you were still exhausted and ready to shut your brain off. All the overthinking and crying had really taken it out of you, it seemed.

There was a notification on your phone when you picked it up off the couch - a voicemail from Tyler. You decided it would have to wait until you were in bed and about to go to sleep, just in case he said something that would make you emotional again. Crying as you set up fans and put some music on didn’t really sound ideal.

It was a relief when you finally crawled under the covers. Your music - a CD that had your favorite slow songs off of Tyler’s three albums - was playing at the perfect volume and your fans were pointed directly at you, keeping you from getting too hot while you slept. The rain had picked up a little, too, making it easier to hear through your open window.

You grabbed your phone and went to your voicemails. It took you a second to work up the courage to hit play on the one Tyler had sent, but once you brought your phone to your ear you knew there was no going back. Hopefully it was something nice and not him being upset with you.

“Um, hi, Y/N,” he started. “I know that you said you wanted space, and I respect that - I promise this will be the only call and voicemail you’ll get from me - but I just wanted to tell you again that I’m so sorry about how I handled this. Hopefully it will make more sense when I explain myself, whenever that is. Yeah, I, uh, should have told you how I felt a long time ago. I’m sorry for all the time we missed out on because of it. But, I just wanted you to know that… what I said… it’s all true.” There was a pause and you could hear Tyler take a shaky breath. “I love you. I mean it.”

The voicemail ended and you stared at the ceiling for a moment, taking in everything that he had said. Happiness bubbled in your chest for just a moment before it subsided again. You brought your phone in front of your face, rewinding the voicemail so that you could listen to it a second time. And then a third. And a fourth.

You eventually turned your phone off and plugged it into its charger next to the bed, knowing that you couldn’t just listen to the voicemail all night. Your eyes were starting to get heavy and the rain was doing nothing to help your tired state. After one final glance at Georgie to make sure he was still fast asleep, you laid down and got comfortable on your pillows. Lovely came on right as you shut your eyes.

Your mouth curled up into a small smile as you listened to the lyrics. It was a song that Tyler had sworn he hadn’t written for you, but given his newfound history of lying about things when it came to you, you were beginning to think that wasn’t entirely true. For a moment, you forgot about all the worries in your head and just thought about Tyler.

You fell asleep with his words echoing in your head.

I love you. I mean it.

* * * * *

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