#ok i am done now for real. thank you everyone who is kind to us i am blowing you all kisses MWAH

[campbyler]

i really admire how u stand up for urselves with the release dates and headcanons and shit. so many people think they can walk all over writers who are putting in so much work for them

thank you for saying this! i will say that we have received far more support than we have anything to the contrary, and we certainly haven't handled every situation that's fallen into our laps completely perfectly, but i do think there has been some mind boggling behavior we've been presented with and it's not something we were really anticipating having to react to. i'm beating a dead horse at this point, but we never imagined just how much attention this fic would get, and while it is so cool and fun and rewarding 99% of the time, there is that 1% that is unfortunately very loud sometimes. suni and i are sensitive people at best, and while we are good at ignoring when things get too rowdy, there are times that we have to put our foot down -- namely, when people are a) trying to stake a claim in ownership over this universe and dictate things about characters they had no hand in developing and b) putting us on a pedestal and turning our relationship with our readers into something corporate (not the band). to be dogpiled on after disagreeing with a headcanon (that was phrased as a question, mind you, and became a big deal when they didn't get the answer they wanted) or sent rude asks because life is making it hard to get an upload out are things that we think are hostile in a way that we haven't been. which again, is not to say we are perfect -- we get sassy, we can be really reactive -- but we both definitely believe in matching energy, and when things escalate we will rise to it. lol. we are so glad that we have this community of people who share the same passion for this universe that we do, and even more glad that the majority of that community is so respectful of us and our choices and give us space to be human, whether that mean standing up for ourselves or taking 6 months between uploads. it's been so reassuring to know that the work we put into this fic and this universe is not transactional 💗

[tgcg]

bad mouther, hole master

TG: kissing with tongue is gross as hell

CG: COME THE FUCK OFF IT.

TG: what

CG: I'M SAYING SHUT UP.

TG: oh

CG: IT'S NOT THAT WEIRD. IT'S LIKE THE NATURAL PROGRESSION OF REGULAR KISSING TO EVENTUALLY INCLUDE THAT. IF YOU HAD ANY SEMBLANCE OF ROMANCE GHOSTING THROUGH THE DEVOLVING REMNANTS OF YOUR THINKPAN YOU'D APPRECIATE WHAT IT BRINGS TO THE NUTRITION PLATFORM OF ANY CONSENTING CONCUPISCENT RELATIONSHIP!

TG: youre talking about it like its a goddamn military weapon or some shit

TG: some kinda scientific fuckin method to fondle a dudes mouth with your own mouth thats

TG: thats gross

TG: this isnt supposed to be a debate before fuckin congress on the pros and cons of getting your mack on

TG: its i would say a reasonably personal thing to react about and thats just my reaction man you dont gotta arbitrate it

TG: and like why the hell do they have to linger on it so long in these movies do they really want me to immerse myself in people necking each other that much

TG: roll the sounds around in my earholes like im swilling a fine fuckin wine

TG: well my professional opinion is that shit tastes and sounds mad gross and tbh i havent seen a single movie where it was close to being any kind of necessary

TG: its just a cringy waste of everyones time

CG: YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, AND I DISAGREE WITH EVERYTHING THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR IGNORANCE GASH, YOU LUMP OF TIGHT-LIPPED CLUELESSNESS.

TG: did you just homestar me

CG: FOR THE SAKE OF ARGUMENT, SINCE YOU'RE APPARENTLY DESPERATE TO START SHIT WITH ME RIGHT NOW: HAVE YOU EVER EVEN DONE IT?

TG: hell no

CG: THANK YOU FOR PROVING MY POINT.

TG: proving your point--

TG: bro have uh

TG: have YOU???

CG: EXCUSE ME? HAVE I WHAT?

TG: come on

TG: i walked into this stupid conversation with a fucking shovel and by god am i digging myself a damn hole big and wide enough for every dave across time to squeeze in so i might as well get cosy in this shit before we all start collectively shoving dirt in our mouths

TG: bet your ass im taking you down with me though

TG: grab your spade and get digging man

CG: GRAB MY WHAT????????

TG: just tell me

CG: ???????!!!!!!!!

TG: karkat

CG: NO!

TG: f-

CG: WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!!!!! WHAT PART OF "SHUT UP" DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND????

TG: wait no

TG: oh my god dude

TG: you can spin that shit all you want but you can do it the hell away from me

TG: i do not need to be hip to your weirdo foursquare fantasies

TG: patently not my business

CG: STOP RIGHT THERE. JUST SHUT IT. I AM PUTTING US OUT OF OUR MISERY RIGHT NOW. I AM CONDUCTING AN ACT OF MERCY ON THIS INSANE FUCKING CONVERSATION AND YOU ARE GOING TO ZIP YOUR LIPS AND TAKE IT.

CG: HERE IT IS: YOUR SINGLE OPPORTUNITY TO PRETEND YOU NEVER SAID THAT TO ME. I AM GOING TO FORGET YOU MADE A COMPLETE MOCKERY OF ME AND MY CULTURE THIS ONE TIME. AND LET YOU CONTINUE TO DIG YOUR STUPID, SHITTY HOLE.

CG: AND DAVE, I AM BEGGING YOU NOT TO WASTE IT.

CG: TO ANSWER YOUR SHOCKINGLY INAPPROPRIATE QUESTION, NO I HAVE NOT DONE IT.

CG: WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK.

CG: HAPPY?

TG: ……..

TG: way to defuse the situation solid work

TG: real gold star effort grabbin that lit wick and blowing on it

TG: ok first of all you asked me first so dont act like im the one being a weirdo about this

TG: second of all i didnt mean it like that and you know it

TG: THIRD of all what the hell was the point of engaging the knightly theatrics then if you cant even verify that shit

CG: WELL FUCK, SORRY DAVE! I GUESS I'M JUST A FUCKING ROMANCE ENTHUSIAST! I GUESS I GIVE A MAJOR SHIT ABOUT THE THING YOU'RE OPENLY MOCKING TO MY FACE! IS THAT SO IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO WRAP YOUR THOUGHT SPONGE AROUND?

CG: AND IT WAS COMPLETELY REASONABLE FOR ME TO ASK YOU THAT, YOU CONGEALED FETID NOOKSTAIN! MY STATUS ON THE MATTER HAS LITERALLY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE POINT EITHER OF US IS TRYING TO MAKE.

CG: TRY TO KEEP YOUR NUGBONE FROM CAVING IN ON ITSELF WHEN I DROP THIS BOMBSHELL: I'M ALLOWED TO HAVE OPINIONS ON THINGS I ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT, EVEN IF I HAVEN'T DONE THEM! I DON'T JUST GO TROUNCING THE FUCK ABOUT LOBBING MY UNFOUNDED OPINIONS AT PEOPLE LIKE I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING. UNLIKE SOMEONE WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE INVOLVED IN THIS CONVERSATION WE'RE HAVING RIGHT NOW!

TG: youre

CG: I’M TALKING ABOUT YOU BY THE WAY. THE SOMEONE IS YOU.

TG: oh gimme a break

TG: bro youre going apeshit over something you havent even done

TG: you know what that sounds like to me it sounds like an overcompensating fake fan who doesnt get any

TG: you heard of troll napoleon complex

CG: AT LEAST I ACTUALLY FORMED MY OPINION BASED ON CAREFUL CONSIDERATION --

TG: -- oh yeah i bet huh

CG: -- INSTEAD OF JUST BANKING ON NUBJERK --

TG: -- not a real thing you just said

CG: -- REACTIONS AND WRINKLING MY SNIFF NUB AT ANY SIGNS OF GENUINE PHYSICAL INTIMACY!

TG: stop saying nub

CG: YOU EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED BULGEWAD

TG: not too much worse than being a perpetual fountain of emotional diarrhea

CG: DON'T YOU DARE.

CG: DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO USE THAT AS A "GOTCHA", YOU--… YOU! FUCK!

TG: dude did you actually run out of insults

TG: okay this is getting concerning

TG: youre the international dude of verbal dunks

TG: that can not be happening

CG: AAGHRJRGHJRGRHJAGHRJGRHJAGRHJRGRHJRGRHRJR

TG: you cant run out of em youre like the ultimate peddler of hate

CG: YOU DON'T THINK I'M CRITICALLY AWARE OF THE HOOFBEASTSHIT I'M SPEWING NIGH FUCKING CONSTANTLY?! I AM PAINFULLY COGNIZANT OF HOW MORONIC EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS!!!!

TG: feel like ive done some damage here

CG: ESPECIALLY MYSELF!

TG: alright bud time to calm down

CG: YOU CALM DOWN!!!!

TG: okay whatever!

CG: WHATEVER!!!!!!!!

TG: jeez

…

TG: here

…

CG: UGH.

TG: yeah

TG: really glad stuff like this happens in private

CG: YEAH. SAME HERE.

CG: JEGUS, CAN WE GO BACK TO BEFORE WE HAD THIS CONVERSATION? I DON'T ASK YOU MANY FAVORS, SO SURELY YOUR SLURRY OF ILL-DEFINED TIME POWERS CAN ALLOW YOU TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

CG: JUST LIKE, WIPE THAT WHOLE THING OFF THE SLATE.

CG: LET'S START OVER. SAY, FIVE MINUTES AGO. HOW DOES THAT SOUND?

TG: what conversation?

CG: OKAY, GOTCHA.

[everlasting-rainfall]

Hi I’m new to requesting stuff , hopefully I’ve done this right XD also hope your doing ok and drinking plenty of water 💕

can I please request the Crane Game AU please :)

Reaching into a crane game to grab something only to be grabbed and pulled into a plush world

Yandere : Joyboy 

What if reader won something from the crane game , only when their went to grabbed it , something grabbed them instead. 

Reader now teleported into the plush world where their meet Joyboy who’s more than happy to show reader around …lets just hope reader doesn’t slip up and accidentally asked how do they get back home .

Oh don’t worry, dear! You did it absolutely perfectly! Couldn’t have been better in all honesty! Thank you for reminding me to drink water, and I’m going to do so right now once I finish this sentence. Doing it. And done!

Also yes, you most certainly can! But I’d like to clear some things up real quick, I know that currently Joyboy does not have an official design. So based off some old fanart, I’ve saw of him that made me fall for him.

I personally headcanon him to be a giant (or at least just really tall) with a big black beard, long black hair, having a dad body, and having quite a bit of body hair. So until proven otherwise, this is how I will see him. I hope you don’t mind!

Now before I start rambling about things, and getting side-tracked! Let’s get to it!

!-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT AT ALL-!

!-POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNINGS-!

Transformation, Clinginess, Being Trapped for Eternity, Noncon Mention, Being Treated like You’re Crazy, Body Horror (?), Attempted Coercion into Pregnancy

!-POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNINGS-!

!-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT AT ALL-!

BEWARE SPOILERS

Okay so let’s imagine that you’re playing a crane game, you’re trying to win this really fluffy stuffed animal that looks really appealing. It doesn’t matter where you are, you’re playing the game regardless.

But when it goes to drop the plush into the prize slot, it gets stuck right on the edge of it. You’re annoyed of course as it was so close!

You get a brilliant idea though, and reach right on up the prize slot. It’s within grabbing range, and you did win it. No harm done!

The fuzz from the plush just barely brushes against your fingers before you feel something grab your wrist tightly. You try to fight it as it pulls you with tremendous strength, but it won’t let go.

Suddenly you’re being pulled into the machine, you sit atop the giant pile of plushies for less than a second before you’re pulled down into them. You have no idea what has you, or how this pile goes so deep.

But soon? You’re reach the bottom, and good news! Your wrist is free! But bad news, you’re falling from up in the clouds down to an island.

Your first reaction is screaming cause “Holy shit! I’m gonna die!”, and there is no second reaction until you feel yourself be caught. You cautiously open your eyes, and you’re staring at a giant plush.

He seems so happy to see you as he holds you like you’re a bride.

“There you are, Sunshine! I’ve been looking all over for you!”

I think you’d probably be too shocked to really say anything as you look around. Everything is made out of some kind of material used for sewing except for the sun which almost looks like a lightbulb and… Is the sky a quilt?

In all honesty, it probably feels like you stepped right into some kind of children’s television show… But your brain is going a mile a minute as it tries to process everything, you probably can’t even hear Joyboy trying to talk to you.

“Sunshine? Can you hear me at all? Hey… I’m talking to you… Sunshine?”

When your brain eventually does process everything, you pass right out in Joyboy’s arms. He’s not bothered though, this just saves him from having to deal with you freaking out about things.

It’s what everyone does after all when they’re pulled to this world! And although he did choose you to take, he is happy that he doesn’t have to deal with the typical “Where am I?! What the fuck is going on?!” sort of stuff. At least not yet anyways.

So Joyboy will take you back to his home. He’ll set up a fake scene, he’ll change your clothes to one of his shirts as a nightgown, and lay you down in his bed with a wet washcloth on your forehead.

Honest to god, he loves how you look in his bed! The size difference between the two of you just makes it so cute! Your small human body in his bed that’s meant to accommodate his big plush body.

Maybe he’ll have some time with you… Just to ensure that the scene is far more believable when you wake up… Some physical soreness never hurt anyone…

As a result when you wake up, you’ll feel an incredible soreness like you’ve been stretched to hell and back. So you start to sit up only for the washcloth to fall into your lap, you’re so confused until the man himself enters.

He puts on a facade about how happy he is that you’re finally awake, as he was starting to grow worried about you. And you understandably freak out because “Giant talking plush man!!”.

Joyboy will feign surprise, and then severe worry because “Don’t you remember me, Sunshine? Shh, it’s okay!! It’s me, your husband!! Joyboy!! You know I’m a plush man!!”.

Once Joyboy has managed to calm you down enough, he’ll lie to you and tell you that you’ve had a horrible fever the past few days. You’ve been unconscious for the past week with a high temperature.

He’ll claim that your high temperatures must have affected your brain, and caused amnesia. He knows that he’s lying his ass off, and he doesn’t care.

And if you try to bring up that you’re a human, and you’re not from a world where the sun is not a sun shaped lightbulb? He’ll agree that yeah, you are different from plush people but he has no clue what a “human” is. Is that what you’ve decided to call whatever you are?

As for the other world, he brushes it off as “Oh you were dreaming, sunshine! What else would the sun be? A ball of gas?”.

You can try to argue all that you want with this man, it’s not gonna work. Eventually he’ll tell you to just get some rest as you still must be loopy, he’ll show you around tomorrow to jog your memory.

There’s no room for you to fight back as he interrupts you as soon as you speak. Until you finally agree to rest, or sleep.

In the morning, he gives you food and you’re thankful that the food is at least normal. Joyboy is smiling the entire time that you eat, he claims that it’s because he’s so glad your appetite is back.

In actuality, he knows that since your body is allowing you to eat plush world food instead of completely rejecting it. It’s a sign that you’re becoming trapped here with him.

Maybe he’ll try to take a tiny bit of off of your plate for himself, but just a tiny bit. And he laughs quite heartily when he gets caught, something about it just brings him so much happiness for some reason.

Eventually once you’re finished eating, he’ll pick you up in the palm of his plush hand. He’ll take you outside, and to all the places that he claims he used to take you. The place where you had your first date, where you first met, your favorite spot to sit and relax with him, the absolute best place to find the tastiest plush world food.

Each time he’ll ask “Do you remember this place?”, and when you don’t. He’ll tell you all sorts of stories about the things that you and him have done here together, it doesn’t sound the most convincing but he won’t allow you to claim that it didn’t happen.

And if you try to then he’ll take on a somewhat dark tone as he tells you that it did happen. You just don’t remember right now, and that you should stop saying that it didn’t.

He’ll even take you around to meet everyone that he knows. Zunesha, Emeth, even his dad! Nika! (Personal Headcanon). Each, and every single one of them will back Joyboy up on what he’s saying. Every little bit of it.

None of them will believe you either about the world that you came from. Saying that you have some crazy fever dreams… A world where people don’t bleed stuffing, and everyone has skin instead of fabric? Absolutely crazy! What will you come up with next?

Honestly though, you know what’s supposed to be right. And you’re determined to get home even though you fell from the sky.

Joyboy might be big, but you heavily doubt that he’ll help you get home with the way he’s acting towards you. You could try, and ask his friends or Dad if you got desperate enough.

But he won’t let you out of his sight. “Wherever you go, I go!”, he’d gleefully say when you try to use the bathroom. Or try to do quite literally anything…

Plus do you really think that Nika is gonna help his son’s darling get away from him? Yeah, I think not… He’ll probably immediately tell Joyboy everything then you are so fucked…

Imagine the visual of this giant plush man looming over you, and looking less than pleased. It doesn’t matter if he’s a plush animal, or if he’s just a plush version of himself, I still feel like that would be scary.

So probably best to not say anything as Nika will rat you out in a heartbeat, and any of his friends might do the exact same thing.

Best to come up with a plan of escape on your own. I feel like he’d definitely notice if you were doing it on your daily outings, so it’s best to do it while he’s sleeping. I feel like he’d snore very loudly too, so unless you can sleep through that then best to make plans while you can’t sleep.

It’s not there’s anything else to do. As if you try to get out of bed then he’ll wake up. Joyboy will go from dead sleep to wide awake “where are you going?” “uhhh… Thirsty…?” “Oh I’ll come with you… I’m kinda thirsty too…” Then it’ll be right back to bed. Also if you’re wondering “Couldn’t I just ask to sleep in a different room?” then the answer is no… You could request earplugs if you want though, but I doubt that’ll block it.

Might be quite surreal to see a plush person eat or drink in all honesty…

Anywho… So honestly I feel like once you’re in plush world, you can’t get out unless you can somehow manage to find someone or something to fly you out of the sky quilt before you’re cemented here…

You’re likely stuck here forever then, and once this sets in for you. That’s when things start, you’ll begin to notice that your skin feels different… Like fabric…

When Joyboy takes you out on outings with him to show you around, and walk to all of his favorite places in the wilderness, the lightbulb sun will actually start to start to feel like actual sunlight. Those plush birds will sound more like birds instead of voice boxes.

Joyboy will notice all of these changes in your behavior as you look around for what you were sure was a non-plush bird. He knows that you’re going to be cemented into this world soon.

So that’s when he starts showing you all these new places, he’ll take you to this nice spot out in the wilderness saying his parents brought him here when he was a kid. He loved it, and he hopes that he’ll be able to share that with his own kids someday.

If you try to brush him off with those comments then he’ll probably get more direct. Telling you things like “You know, Sunshine… We should have a baby soon…” and “It’d be so nice to have your belly sewing together a little one for us…”

Does it make you uncomfortable especially when he rubs your belly? Probably yes… Does he care? No…

I feel like Joyboy would be one of the Yandere’s that has a somewhat low chance of forcing themselves onto you. Like every Yandere has their limit before they do, Joyboy is willing to wait for quite a long time though to fill you with whatever is cum for plush people.

And one day when you’re getting changed, or taking a shower or something. That’s when you’ll see it. Your skin is turning plush.

Could be patchwork, could be fuzz, could be anything really… Regardless your skin is becoming fabric…

Try and pull it off? Not coming off, and it’s slowly spreading across your body. Of course you panic, and the sound of it alerts Joyboy.

If he’s not in the room (unlikely) then he’ll come running, and if he is then he’ll whip around or throw the shower curtain open to see you.

And once he does, he’ll groan a little “Sunshine, you made me think that something horrible was happening!” “Something horrible is happening!! My skin is turning plush!!” “That’s great, not horrible! Now you’re just like me instead of… What did you call it? Hue-van?”

Regardless of what you say, Joyboy will watch as the plush slowly creeps along your body. Imagine if his touch accelerated it too?

So you have him poking at the fabric occasionally while chuckling, you try to smack his hands away and he just keeps doing it. All until the plush fully consumes you.

You’re no longer a human, and you’ll be inanimate for a good bit as your insides transform. Once it’s all finished, you’ll be a plush person just like everyone else in this world.

Now you couldn’t leave even if you found a way to get past the sky quilt, you’re stuck here for all eternity now…

Joyboy will help you up onto your feet, and assist you with getting used to your new body. He’ll watch you as you stumble about on plush legs with a chuckle.

“Is it really that hard getting used to new legs, sunshine? You don’t have to learn if it’s really that hard, I’ll carry you around everywhere…”

He’ll do it too, don’t think that he won’t…

Maybe after a few years, Joyboy will have conveniently forgotten that you used to be a… What was it again? A Hue-van? Or was it a Mew-Band? Blue-can? Sew-blan? It doesn’t matter…

But for right now, he’ll enjoy your new plush form and relish in the fact that you’re here to stay now…

In more ways than one too! As now that you’re a plush person, you can far more easily accommodate his size…

[canirove]

In The Name of Love | Chapter 1

Summary: The plan that night was just to have fun and try to forget. And Valeria (or Val as everyone calls her) did forget. But what she didn't expect, was to do it with someone younger than her. Someone who also happened to be a football player, and from her team's sworn enemy: Pedri González.

Little warning: there is an age gap in this story. Throughout it I don't mention any exact number, but in my head she was like 28/29.

Author’s note: Me, a Real Madrid supporter, writing for a Barça player? Yep, it's happening 😅 It all started as a joke with a friend who is currenlty obsessed with him and other Barça players, then I got carried away... and here we are. Hope you like it, and thank you for reading! 💜

Next chapter

Masterlist

"Stop checking that photo, Val."

"I wasn't checking it" I say, quickly putting my phone down.

"Of course you weren't" Silvia says, rolling her eyes. "We are here to forget about all that, remember? Let's focus on it."

"Ok..." I sigh, taking a sip of my beer.

"Great. What do you think about them?" Silvia says, nodding towards the group of men to my left.

"Eww, no."

"And what about… them? The ones ordering a drink. They look quite decent."

"And posh."

"They do, don't they? And we are trying to forget about a posh guy, so they aren't an option. What about… Oh! Them!" she says, nodding towards someone to my right. "I thought the cute one had left, but looks like he only went to the bathroom or something."

"Who?"

"That guy over there, the one with the Adidas t-shirt. He hasn't been able to keep his eyes from you since we arrived."

"Yeah, sure" I snort.

"He is looking at you again."

"Silvia!" 

"What?"

"Why did you wave at him?"

"Why not? He is really cute. His friend too."

"I don't trust you and what you find… fuck" I say as I turn around.

"He's a hottie, uh?" she smirks.

"I know who that is."

"You do? Is that why he has been looking at you?"

"I don't know him in person, but I know who he is."

"What?" Silvia asks with a confused look.

"That's…"

"Hello" a male voice says next to us. 

"Hi" she replies with a big smile. 

"I hope we aren't bothering you. I saw you waving and I just…"

"No, it's fine. It's fine. My friend here was actually telling me that she knows you!"

"Silvia!" I hiss.

"What? You do know him, don't you? Though she said something weird about not doing it in person. Do you follow each other on Instagram or something?"

"I wish" he chuckles. 

"Ok, now I am completely lost."

"Silvia, you are talking to Pedri."

"Who?"

"The Barça player" I sigh.

"Pedri? I don't remember hearing you talk about a Pedri."

"Because when I've done it, I haven't said nice things about him."

"Ouch!" he laughs, reminding us that he is standing next to us.

"I'm a Real Madrid supporter. Sorry" I shrug, finally daring to look at him. But he doesn't look like the Pedri I remembered from our last game against Barça. He seems to have gotten rid of the stupid haircut, and looks like he is trying to grow a beard. He looks less like the kid he actually is, and more like a man, kind of… attractive? And the way he is looking at me, the smirk on his face… Fuck. He is attractive. 

"Bro, she is gonna be a tough one" his friend laughs. 

"You are gonna have to let me buy you a drink. I won't see the end of it if you say no" Pedri says, trying to give me puppy eyes.

"Are you allowed to buy alcohol?" I ask.

"Why wouldn't he? I see football players getting drunk all the time" Silvia says.

"It's not because of his job. It's because of his age."

"What?" she laughs.

"How old do you think he is?"

"I don't know… Twenty something?" 

"Without the something" I say, crossing my arms over my chest. "He is a kid."

"Really?"

"I am not a kid" he replies, also crossing his arms and trying to look offended.

"Yes, you are. And I don't accept alcohol from kids."

"Oh, c'mon. As if you were an old lady or something" he laughs. "You can't be older than 25."

"Oh my God" I laugh, Silvia joining me. 

"What? What is so funny?" he asks.

"You" I say, trying to contain my giggles. "You are so innocent."

"Now that is something funny" his friend chuckles.

"Ok, fine. You aren't 25" Pedri says. "26 then?"

"I'm too old for you. Let's just leave it there."

"Well, I don't care about how old you are" he shrugs.

"But I do."

"Oh, c'mon, it's just a drink and a chat. There is nothing illegal about that."

"But I support Real Madrid and you play for Barça. I'm pretty sure that is illegal."

"Another excuse" he says, rolling his eyes.

"It isn't an excuse, it's a fact."

"It is an excuse" he repeats, moving closer. "You are just afraid you may end up fancying someone younger and from the enemy."

"Afraid? Please" I snort.

"Then let me buy you that drink."

"If I say yes, will you leave me alone once I've finished it?"

"If that's what you want… But you'll probably want more" he smirks.

"Yeah, sure" I reply, trying to ignore the way my stomach has reacted to that smile. Again. "Silvia, do you… Wait, where is she? And your friend?"

"Looks like they left us alone."

"I'm killing her the moment I find her."

"Or thanking her."

"Why do you keep insisting? Why are you flirting with me instead of those teenagers over there?"

"Because they don't interest me. You do."

"Me? Why?"

"I don't know" Pedri shrugs. "But the moment you walked in, I couldn't keep my eyes from you. You are different from the others."

"Has that pickup line ever worked before?" I chuckle.

"I'm telling you the truth."

"And I'm 25" I laugh.

"You do look 25. And they look so good" he says, looking at me from head to toe, making my cheeks get warm. 

"Are you buying me that drink or not?" I say, trying to stop whatever he is doing to me.

"Yes, sure" he smirks. "Another beer?"

"Please" I reply, taking a big breath when he turns his back to me to go order, trying to compose myself. Why is a kid making me feel… things?

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"So, how did you end up here tonight?" Pedri asks me once he is back with our drinks.

"Silvia wanted to go out to help me forget about something."

"Have you?"

"Have I what?"

"Forgotten about that something."

"I… I actually have, yes. Having a kid trying to flirt with me has helped. Cheers to that" I say before drinking.

"Cheers" he chuckles. "But I am not a kid."

"That's what you keep saying, but I don't believe you."

"I'm drinking alcohol and have a driving license."

"Not enough."

"Do you want me to show you that I'm not a kid, then?" he asks, arching a perfect eyebrow. 

"Yeah, why not" I shrug.

"You asked for it" he says, quickly moving around the small table where we were standing and showing up by my side, his hands cupping my face before kissing me.

He is kissing me. Fucking Pedri González is kissing me. And for some reason, I am not slapping his face. For some really odd reason, I am kissing him back, getting completely lost on what is happening.

"Is this enough to prove to you that I am not a kid or do I have to keep going?" he asks, resting his forehead on mine and trying really hard not to smile.

"Not enough" I hear myself saying.

"Ok" he replies, this time fully smiling before kissing me. And, again, I feel myself getting lost on the way his lips and his tongue feel on mine, on his hands on my face, mine resting on his chest. It feels like something completely new and exciting, but also familiar and somehow peaceful. As if we had known each other our whole lives and hadn't met just a minute ago. 

"And now?" Pedri whispers against my lips when we finally manage to stop.

"Now what?" 

"Do you still think I am a kid?"

"A teenager."

"What?" he laughs. 

"You've gone from kid to teenager, congratulations."

"I am not a teenager either."

"You actually are. Scientists say that the teenage years end in your twenties, so" I shrug.

"Ok, fine" he laughs again, moving one of his thumbs over my cheek. "You are hot."

"Thank you?"

"I didn't mean it like that" he chuckles. "You are hot, but you also feel hot."

"Oh. I… I actually do feel a bit hot, yes."

"Do you want to go outside and have some fresh air? I know a place where no one will bother us."

"Ok" I say, letting him take my hand and guide me outside.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"I had never seen the city like this. It's beautiful" I say as I look at Barcelona's skyline. "How did you find this place?" 

"A security guy from the club brought me here after someone recognized me and things got a bit crazy."

"He brought you to the rooftop?"

"Yep" Pedri says. "Weird, but it was exactly what I needed to calm down."

"Was it too bad? What happened that day, I mean."

"I'm pretty sure I had a panic attack. I suddenly found myself surrounded by too many people with phones flashing everywhere, arms and hands all over me. It was too much."

"I'm sorry" I say, giving his hand a little squeeze. We hadn't let go yet. I hadn't.

"Thank you… Wait, I don't know your name."

"What?"

"I just realized I haven't asked you your name."

"I guess you were so busy putting your tongue down my throat that you forgot to ask."

"I didn't hear you complaining" he smiles. 

"Yeah, whatever."

"And?"

"And what?" I ask.

"Your name. Are you going to tell me or not?"

"You'll have to earn it."

"Earn it? How?"

"I don't know" I shrug. "But I'm sure you can think of something."

"I… I actually can, yes. And it is something that will also show you that I am not a teenager even if scientists say so."

"Enlighten me" I say, my words turning into a whisper when I notice the way he is looking at me.

"My pleasure" he replies, guiding me towards a picnic table. Why is there a picnic table on the rooftop of a club? I don't know. 

"What… what are you doing?" I ask when he lifts me up and sits me on the table.

"What do you think?" he smirks, sitting between my legs and caressing the inside of my knee, the feeling making me shudder.

"We are on a rooftop."

"And?"

"What if someone comes in? Or sees us? Or… fuck" I gasp when he kisses my inner thigh.

"No one will bother us."

"How do you know? Have you done this before? Is this where you take all the girls you pick up downstairs?"

"You are the first person I've brought here" he says, meeting my eyes before kissing my thigh again.

"Am I?"

"You are" he says, slowly lifting my dress. 

"Should I feel flattered?"

"Definitely. I told you you aren't like the others."

"Yeah, because I'm way older" I chuckle.

"Tonight you are 25. And when I'm done with this, so will I."

"Yeah, well. We'll see" I say, biting my lower lip and trying to stay calm despite the way my skin is burning under his touch or what I am feeling… there.

"May I, then?" Pedri asks, his fingers playing with the hem of my underwear.

"Yes" I nod, my eyes focused on his as he pulls it down.

"Try not to forget about your name" he smirks.

"Why would I… Fuck" I gasp when I feel his tongue, everything that he does after making me forget about my name, but not his. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Morning."

"Good morning" Silvia yawns. "What is all this?"

"Breakfast" I smile.

"You made breakfast?" 

"Yep."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I was in the mood for it" I shrug.

"You were in the mood for it, uh?" she chuckles. "You should fuck a teenager more often if this is what I get in return. It looks amazing."

"I didn't fuck a teenager" I say, rolling my eyes.

"Ok, fine. He did it all while you just had the best orgasm of your life."

"It wasn't the best."

"Top 3?" Silvia smirks.

"Whatever" I say, pouring myself some coffee.

"Are you seeing him again?"

"No way. One mistake is enough."

"Mistake?" she laughs. "Girl, look at you. You are glowing and haven't been able to stop smiling since you said goodbye to him. That doesn't look like a mistake to me."

"He is a kid, Silvia. And a football player. He is like a walking red flag."

"But I'm not asking you to marry him or anything. I'm just telling you to have fun for once in your life."

"Are you calling me boring?"

"When it comes to your relationships, yes, you are boring. This is the most interesting thing you've done since you became single, and he managed to make you forget about you know what, didn't he?"

"He did, yes" I sigh. "But it probably is because I was too busy freaking out about the fact that I had made out with a teen who happens to be a football star and I didn't have time to think about anything else."

"You were too busy thinking about the way he was making you feel, not his age or his job. That's good, you know?"

"That's crazy, Silvia. And dangerous."

"That's good. If he has managed to make you feel like this just with what he did last night, imagine what he can do when he actually fucks you."

"That isn't going to happen, tho."

"Why not?"

"Because he is Pedri! The Pedri! And he plays for Barça!"

"And?" she shrugs.

"Urgh."

"I think you should meet again. He definitely fancies you."

"He doesn't. He just sees me as a challenge because I'm older and support Real Madrid, and if he gets to fuck me he'll be able to brag about it with his friends."

"Did he tell you that?"

"No."

"Then you don't know if that's what he feels" Silvia shrugs again. "And what if that's the case, uh? I'm sure it'll be worth it."

"Oh, yes. Being treated like I'm just a piece of meat by a bunch of teenagers is so worth it" I reply, rolling my eyes.

"But you will also be using him, Val. He gets to brag, you get to be railed. I think it is worth it."

"It is madness, that's what it is. Now can we please eat our breakfast and change the topic of conversation?"

"Yeah, sure" Silvia says when my phone starts ringing. "Oh my God, is that him? Did we manifest it?"

"It's my mum. He probably is still sleeping like the baby he is. Hello, mum" I say, picking up.

"Valeria! Why hadn't you told me that Marc got engaged!"

"I forgot" I shrug.

"You forgot? He is your ex boyfriend!"

"Maybe that's why I forgot?"

"I thought you had remained as friends."

"And we have."

"Then?"

"Then what, mum?"

"Then why didn't you tell me!"

"Because I forgot, I already told you!" 

"There is no need to yell, Valeria."

"I'm sorry, mum. I'm not in the best mood right now" I sigh.

"Oh, my poor thing. Knowing that you are the only one in your group of friends who isn't married or in a serious relationship can't be easy."

"I don't care about that, mum" I say.

"Well, you should! I want grandchildren, Valeria!"

"I have to go, mum."

"Where?"

"Silvia is calling me, she needs my help with something. Bye."

"But…"

"Bye" I say before hanging up.

"That was rude, Val."

"I'm sorry, ok? But she can be so annoying. Who cares if… Fuck."

"Uh?"

"He just texted me" I say, my eyes fixed on the notification on my phone, my heart suddenly beating way too fast. 

"Who did?"

"Pedri just texted me."

"No way!" Silvia says, quickly moving to stand next to me. "What does he say?"

"If I'm free later today."

"Well, you are."

"Weren't we going to…"

"No, that's been canceled. You are going out with him and hopefully get railed so you can forget about your mum and everything she just said."

"Silvia..."

"You are going, Val. End of the story." 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"I thought you wouldn't come."

"Why not?"

"Because I am a teenager who plays for Barça and that's illegal?" Pedri laughs. 

"Yeah, well. I needed to get out of the house and stop thinking, and you somehow manage to help me with that."

"And is that something good or bad?"

"Silvia says it's good. I don't know yet."

"Then I'll guess we'll have to keep hanging out until you make up your mind" he smiles.

"Maybe... We'll see. I had never been here before."

"That's because this is my secret place."

"Another one?" I chuckle.

"Another one. When you become so famous you can't step outside without being recognized, you somehow manage to find spots where no one can find you, places that are just for yourself."

"It must suck. Not being able to do normal things anymore, I mean. I don't know if I could be able to handle it."

"It sucks, yeah" he sighs. "But then I come here and I forget about everything. It's just me and the sea."

"Look at us, both looking for something that helps us forget" I laugh. "We are so sad."

"But now we have something in common" Pedri winks.

"I guess" I giggle. I giggled? Why did I giggle? "Anyway" I say, clearing my throat. "Can we go down to the beach?"

"Of course. There is a path over there."

"Then let's go" I say, taking his hand on mine and starting to walk.  

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"You are going to end up falling into the water if you keep playing like that" Pedri says with a cheeky smile.

"Lucky me, there is a young man next to me that will come to my rescue" I smirk, jumping when another wave threatens to touch me.

"Oh, now I am a young man?" 

"You've earned it for bringing me here. This beach is perfect."

"I still feel like a kid when you talk about all these rewards, tho." 

"That's my inner teacher speaking" I shrug.

"Is that what you do for a living?"

"Yep. This year I will be teaching 6-years-old."

"And I can tell you love it."

"Uh?"

"Your smile. It says it all" he says, looking at me in a way that makes me feel all fuzzy inside.

"Yeah, umm… Should we go for a swim?" I blurt out.

"Now?" Pedri chuckles.

"Yes, now."

"But we don't have swimsuits."

"But we do have underwear, don't we?" I say, taking off my t-shirt. "We do, right?"

"Yes, we do" he laughs. 

"Then c'mon" I smile. "You are an island boy, you must be aching to go into the sea and just swim."

"You know what… you are right" he says, taking off his t-shirt too and making me stare at him. I just can't help it. Because a kid should not have those arms and that torso and those things on his hips that go all the way down to… 

"Liking what you see?"

"What?" 

"You are staring" he says with a teasing smile.

"I was just thinking and not looking anywhere in particular."

"Yeah, sure."

"I was" I insist, getting rid of my skirt. "And now you are the one staring" I say when I look up at him again.

"Yes, I am. I really like what I'm seeing."

"Great, cool. Shall we?"

"After you" Pedri smiles, making me feel his eyes on me as I turn around. He is checking me out. He definitely is. Why did I think this was a good idea? Swimming in the sea in my underwear. What the hell? 

"Oh, shit" I hiss, the water feeling colder than I expected.

"You are going too slow!"

"What?"

"Too slow!" he says behind me, lifting me in the air and throwing me over his shoulder.

"Pedri!" 

"This is how you do it!" he laughs before jumping with me into the water.

"It is so fucking cold" I laugh when I make it back to the surface, his head popping next to me.

"It isn't that cold, stop complaining" he says while splashing me.

"It is" I reply, splashing him back. 

"Maybe this will help" he smirks, grabbing me by the waist and pulling me closer to him.

"Still cold" I reply, putting my arms around his neck.

"What about this" he says before kissing me. It is a short kiss, but it is enough to make me feel my cheeks getting warm.

"That is definitely working" I giggle. Again. Why am I behaving like the teenager here? 

"Should I keep going, then?" he asks, trying to hide a smile. 

"You should. You definitely should" I say before his lips are on mine once again.

[michelleleewise]

Hi hi it's me again! I hope it's ok to send another request 👉👈

I had this idea where y/n is an Avenger and has the power to shape shift her appearance to look however she wants. She doesn't use her real name, and when she's with the avengers she always looks like a really tall and fit beautiful woman, so everyone just assumes that's how she really looks. She gets along with everyone except for Loki who's oddly cold towards her and they kind of bicker a lot. He doesn't know why, but he just has a feeling in his gut that she's hiding something, so he doesn't trust her like everyone else does. Then one day when out in the city, maybe at a library or cafe, Loki bumps into y/n without any disguise on, and she looks the opposite of how she always makes herself look around the avengers, so Loki doesn't even recognise her. Knowing he doesn't recognise her, she doesnt tell loki who she is and instead she tells him her real name, pretending to be strangers, and over time the two bond and become really close, because she's being more herself without her disguise on and loki grows to trust her and fall for her. But just as he's about to confess his feelings one day, he somehow finds out y/n is the same woman as the shape-shifting avenger, and he feels betrayed and hurt that she hid that from him all this time. She has to finally confess everything to loki that she was always really insecure about her appearance so chose to always shape-shift into someone more beautiful 99% of the time, thinking no one would ever like the real her, and when loki accidentally bumped into the real her, she thought he'd never like someone who looked like her as more than a friend, so kept up the lie in the hopes at least the beautiful avenger version of herself might one day have a shot with him 🥺

Sorry that was suuper long, I hope it makes sense and I'm really sorry it's a lot 😅 thank you so much for all your wonderful fics I love them all so so much aasjfhsf ❤️❤️❤️

ERHMEGHERD!!!!!!! this is an absolutely wonderful idea!!!! Love....love....love it!!!!! And you can send as many requests to me as you like!!! I thoroughly enjoy reading them and am honored you send them to me!! 🥰🥰🥰 thank you so much!! I hope this turns out the way you hoped!! 💚💚💚

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Hidden

Pairing: Avenger Loki x shape-shifting f! Readed

Warnings: self esteem issues, self deprecating thoughts, body issues, lies, shape-shifting, chubby reader, minor betrayal, hurt feelings, angst, fluff, swearing

Summary: you had always hidden yourself away, never feeling enough....until one day you realize you are....

A/n- graphics by @harlequin-hangout......sorry this is super long!! Lol totally got away from me haha

You looked in the mirror, closing your eyes you concentrated feeling the change wash over you making you shiver. No matter how many times you had done it you would never get used to the feeling. Opening your eyes meeting familiar but different ones, you pushed your long purple hair back over your shoulder, the baggy clothes now snug against your tall frame. You reached up, stretching and bending as you adjusted to this form "well, time to face the day." You said smiling at the person in the mirror before walking to the door heading towards the kitchen.

You walked in seeing it empty making you release the breath you were holding. Relishing in the silence you grabbed a bowl form the cabinet filling it with cereal, turning to the fridge you leaned over grabbing the milk jumping as you stood up "Holy shit Loki!' You yelled seeing the god had appeared out of nowhere. "Apologies, did I catch you off guard...amethyst." He sneered walking around you. "You just startled me is all." You smiled returning to your bowl. "What are your plans today?" You asked offering him a smile "I do not believe that is your concern." He snarked putting the kettle on the stove "what is your problem?" You asked slamming the milk on the counter. You stood your ground as he turned to you meeting your eyes, this form only slightly shorter then him "I simply do not see why you want to know...we are not friends." He said crossing his arms.

You sighed looing down "Loki, I've tried to get to know you but you don't make it easy." You said grabbing the milk putting it back "because I don't trail after you as my brother does, or because I don't fawn over you as the captain does?" He asked tilting his chin up "I've only ever wanted to be friends with you Loki but you refuse!" You said slamming the fridge closed "I do not need any friends, especially ones such as you." He sneered "what is that supposed to mean?" You asked crossing your arms "you may have the others under your spell, but I am not fooled as easily." He said stepping forward "there is...something you are hiding, something the others don't know." He said staring into your eyes. You swallowed hard trying to avoid his gaze "I don't know what.." he cut you off "yes...please try to lie to me." He smiled making your nervous. "Forget it, I have to go." You said stepping around him towards the hall.

"Oh, hello lady amethyst." Thor said stepping into the room "Hey Thor." You said quickly walking past him. "Brother, what did you do?" Thor asked stepping up to the counter "you assume it was me?' He asked arching his eyebrows "loki, everyone knows you don't like her, which is puzzling." Thor laughed sitting down "and why is that?" Loki asked grabbing a mug "because, she is tall, beautiful, the exact type you would have bedded many times on Asgard." Thor smiled seeing Loki roll his eyes "there is something off about her, she's hiding something." Loki said sternly. "I do not trust her." He continued as the kettle screamed "you do not trust anyone brother, give her a chance." Thor said standing leaving the room. Loki looked at the clock slamming his cup down "norns, now I am going to be late." He said quickly hurrying to his room.

You adjusted your dress, stuffing your other outfit into your bag unlocking the stall. Walking to the sink you checked your phone seeing Loki was going to be there anytime. "Ok...everything is fine." You closed your eyes taking a deep breath, opening your eyes meeting familiar ones. "Welcome back." You said to yourself fluffing your hair. Pulling your skirt down covering as much as the dress allowed you grabbed your bag walking out into the Cafe. You looked around, releasing a breath seeing Loki wasn't there yet you walked up to the counter ordering your usual caramel machiotto and his earl grey tea. Grabbing the cups you made your way through the Cafe to your usual booth feeling everyone's eyes on you. You sighed, taking a seat setting his cup across from you as you rubbed your temples.

This was your usual spot when you needed an escape from the tower, where you could be another faceless person in the crowd. No one knew who you were, what you could do. And after Thor and Loki moved into the tower it became essential. You had wanted nothing more then to get to know Loki, the way he carried himself, his velvet soft hair you wanted to wrap your fingers in, his laugh that made your heart flutter at the sound only intensified the evergrowing feelings you had for him. But no matter how many men oogled you as "amethyst", loki wouldnt give you the time of day. It was puzzling watching him flirt with other women at Tony's parties while completely ignoring your existance, until the arguments began. You had grown accustomed to his coldness towards you but something had changed, everytime you were in the same room he had a snarky comment, a rude remark ready to sling at a moments notice and if you were honest it broke your heart.

Four months ago, after a rather nasty argument with Loki you came here to deflate, to try to pull yourself together. Ordering your coffee you turned only to run into the one man you were trying to get away from. You craned your neck looking up at him, your original form being considerably shorter "my apologies, I wasn't watching where I was going." He smiled down at you grabbing your elbow to steady you "oh i..its ok, really. No harm done." You smiled up at him noticing he hadn't let go of your arm "my name is Loki." He smiled releasing your elbow holding his hand out. You stared at it for a minute before slowly reaching out "y/n, my names y/n." You smiled as he leaned down kissing the back of it. "If I may be so bold, are you here with anyone?" He asked straightening "n..no, I'm on my own...you?" You asked shifting back and forth "I am as well, I needed to get away for a while." He said. "Well, you could join me...if you want to." You said seeing him smile. "I would love to." He said following you to your booth. You shook your head, clearing the memory when the bell above the door rang and a head of dark curls walked in.

"My apologies darling, had a bit of an issue at work." He smiled sitting down. "It's ok Loki, I ordered your tea." You smiled looking down "you are my hero dove." He said sipping his drink. You looked up at him, his bright green eyes shining at you like stars in the night sky. You wanted to tell him, everything in you wanted to yell the truth at him, tell him who you really were but you knew it would make him hate you and you couldnt lose him. He hated amethyst, of course he would hate you too. "Is something wrong darling?" He asked pulling you out of your thoughts "no, no I'm fine, what happened at work?" You asked changing the subject. "Oh it was nothing, we have a team member, amethyst and I simply do not trust her." He said making you cringe. "Oh, why is that?" You asked fidgeting with your cup "everyone trusts her implicitly, but there is something, I can't quite place it but I will figure it out." He said sipping his tea

"enough about me, tell me about your day darling." He smiled leaning forward on the table. You did your best to swallow your heartache he didnt trust you as you sipped your coffee "Well, nothing too exciting honeslty, i..." you were cut off by his phone ringing "sorry dear one second." He said looking down at the screen "I am very sorry but I have been called on a mission so I must go." He said standing up. You stood with him as he tucked his phone back in his pocket "I should be back in a couple of days, I will call you as soon as I return." He smiled "ok, be careful please." You said, stepping forward wrapping your arms around him "I will darling, do not worry." He said hugging you back. You closed your eyes, listening to the steady beat of his heart knowing this was the only way you would ever be this close to him.

He pulled back holding your arms "I will see you soon." He said grabbing his cup as he walked out of the shop. You flopped back down in the booth sighing "your a coward y/n." You said to yourself as your phone buzzed, pulling it out seeing it was Steve telling you you were paired with Loki on a mission leaving in twenty. "Fuck!" You yelled, throwing your phone in your bag you looked up seeing everyone staring at you "sorry." You said grabbing your things your quickly made your way back to the tower wishing you could brake your leg on the way.

"Loki, where are you!?" You yelled into the coms, stabbing another agent as he lunged at you. "Worry about yourself agent." He sneered into the earpiece. "We are supposed to be working together loki!" You yelled, quickly shifting into a snake as another group of agents ran in "I do not work with liars." You heard as you slithered away from the earpiece. "Hey, ever seen a purple snake?" You head one of them ask, lifting your head seeing them all looking at you you closed your eyes shifted again, this time turning into the hulk...well a purple one. "Shit!" One of them yelled as you barreled at them, knocking them through the wall into the other room before stumbling back. You hated shifting into something this large, it took too much energy to maintain but with Loki a no show you didn't have a choice. You leaned on a desk, trying to catch your breath hearing footsteps running into the room "amethyst?" You heard Loki's voice making you turn. You closed your eyes, slowly shifting back to your alias as he walked into the now destroyed room.

"Um, you may want to.." he trailed off looking away waving his hand. You looked down in shock remembering when you shifted earlier you left your clothes in the corner. You quickly walked over, stepping into your suit, zipping it up you teetered to the side holding your head "what is wrong with you?" He snapped walking towards you "n..nothing...mm fine." You mumbled grabbing the folder you had come for "just tell me." He said grabbing your arm "why? It's not like you give a shit." You snapped turning back to him seeing two of him. "I do not want the team to think I have done something to you." He said releasing you "yes, c..cause it's all about you." You said, feeling tears well in your eyes "if it were up to you, you would let me die wouldn't you?" You snarked, stepping nose to nose with him when you heard something behind you.

You felt him grab your shoulders, trying to move you when a loud bang sounded through the room. A sharp pain shot through your back making you gasp and arch into him gripping his arms when he turned you holding you to him as he threw a dagger across the room with the other. "L..loki...what..." you stuttered, trying to reach behind you "amethyst, look at me." He said sternly making you look up. "You will be fine, we're going back to the jet." He said quietly staring into your eyes "n..no, y..you go." You said shakely feeling your knees buckle "no, we go together." He said stenrly pulling your arm over his shoulder. "Close your eyes." He said. Doing as he asked you looked down feeling a lurching feeling in your stomach before he began to pull you forward "we are almost there." He said. You looked up seeing the jet in front of you

"l..loki." you gasped, pain radiating through your chest as you stumbled forward hitting your knees on the ground "no, get up." He said pulling your arm "i...I can't." You breathed feeling the familiar tingle in your body, dread filling you at what was about to happen "l..leave me!" You urged trying to pull free "no, you will get up now." He said sternly pulling you to your feet when your knees gave out again. "Your going to make me carry you aren't you?" He snarked, reaching behind your knees lifting you up "i..I'm sorry." You rushed out feeling your lungs tighten "it was only an argument, it is..." you cut him off "n..no...i...I'm sorry f..for..." you tried to take a breath in but it felt like there was a weight on your chest "stop talking, reserve your energy." He said walking up the ramp to the jet, laying you on a gurney you felt him pull the straps around you as your body began to change.

"Y...y/n?" He said shakely. You opened your eyes looking up at him seeing shock written across his face. You lifted your arm, seeing your fingers and hand were no longer thin and slender. "Loki.." you whispered feeling tears in your eyes when he stepped back "w..what is this? Have you been following me? How did you..." he trailed "n..no, I...I didn't..." You said grabbing your chest "i..." you gasped looking to the ceiling seeing black spots floating in your vision "you will explain when we return." He said sternly placing an oxygen mask on you. You looked up trying to memorize his face as your eyes slowly closed.

You opened your eyes, the bright light above you making you squint when you tried to lift your arm, a clang drawing your attention when you glanced down seeing a handcuff around your wrist and attached to the bar on the gurney. "What the.." you started when someone cleared their throat, looking up seeing Tony bringing a chair over sitting down next to you "so, what's the story?" He asked crossing his arms sitting back. You sighed, trying to sit up, wincing at the pain in your back "my name is y/n, I was born with the ability to shift into whatever from I chose." You said looking down "I chose amethyst, because.." you trailed off waving your free hand over yourself "amethyst is tall, beautiful, desirable...y/n is...not." whispering the last part you saw Tony shift in his seat. "Prove it, shift to amethyst." He said watching you intently. You closed your eyes focusing feeling the tingle run through you, opening them seeing Tony nodding "tell me something only you would know." He said glaring.

You sighed looking down again "two years ago you were in the lab late at night, you fell asleep at your desk and Clint snuck in with a permanent marker and drew a..." he cut you off "ok ok, your you, but kid why did you lie?" He asked "I just thought, If no one wanted the real me, maybe they would want this." You said waving your arm again. "Amet...y/n, your beautiful the way you are, you don't need to hide yourself." He said making you laugh. "W..where is Loki?" You asked looking up "in his room I think, he hasn't come out since you got back a few days ago." He said as you nodded. "I'll go get Bruce and see when you can go to your room." He said standing up unlocking the cuffs. "Thanks Tony." You said seeing him smile as he walked out.

Bruce had cleared you to go back to your room, making sure you didn't do anything strenuous or he would make you come back. You tentatively agreed and were sent on your way. You spent the next couple of days in your room, trying to rest but your conscience was eating you alive. Everytime you closed your eyes you saw the look on Loki's face as you laid on that gurney, the betrayal written on his face as he watched you shift. You sat up, seeing it was past two am and decided it would be safe to go for a snack. You got up, slipping your robe on you looked in the mirror, taking a deep breath as you walked to the door going out for the first time as yourself.

You walked into the kitchen freezing seeing Loki sitting at the counter sipping tea. You started to back up, heading back to your room when his voice caught your attention "you do not have to leave, I'm going." He said standing up not looking at you as he placed his cup in the sink "l..loki wait, please." You asked as he proceeded to walk past you as if you weren't there "loki...please just listen." You pleaded grabbing his arm as he pulled it from you "listen to what? How you lied to me..manipulated me in to caring for you?" He snapped taking step towards you "n...no, I didn't mean..." he cut you off with another step "didn't what, mean to get caught? How long was your plan to last hmm?" He asked, his eyes boring into you "no! Loki please.." you trailed off taking a step back "it wasn't like that." You said wrapping your arms around yourself "oh it wasn't? Then pray tell what was it about?" He asked crossing his arms.

You took a deep breath looking into his eyes "i...I wanted to tell you...so many times I wanted to." You said feeling your eyes burn "but i...I was a coward, yes I lied...yes I hid it from you but..." you trailed off looking down "when you look like this...you would kill to be anyone else." You said. "When you first came here I liked you, like alot." You huffed a laugh wiping your cheek "and I saw the women you flirted with and I knew..." you said looking up seeing his eyes soften "I would never have a chance. Im not thin, or pretty or what they are...so yes I lied...I kept up the illusion hoping maybe one day she would have a shot." You laughed feeling a tear run down your cheek. "And when I ran into you at the coffee shop I panicked, I wanted to say something but you were so nice, and kind and just...perfect" you whispered looking down at your feet. "I didn't want to lose that, to lose you." You said.

"I'm sorry I deceived you, I never meant to hurt you I just...I knew we would never be more then friends and I would rather have you as a friend then not at all." You said shifting back and forth "but I understand if you don't want to be around me anymore, I'll leave you alone." You said quickly walking past him, wanting to be in your room as quick as possible when you felt his hand wrap around your arm "wait...there is something you should see." He said gently turning you around. "You are not the only one hiding y/n." He whispered. You watched him close his eyes, his hands sliding down to yours gripping them tightly. His fingers felt like ice as you looked down seeing his hands turn blue, the color traveling up his arm "loki...what..." you trailed off looking up as his the pale skin of his face turned blue, ridges raising across his smooth skin when he opened his eyes.

"This is me y/n, the real me." He said, his bright red eyes studying you as you stepped closer. "I am not asgardian like my brother, I am jotun...a frost giant...deemed a monster." He said looking down "I was lied to my entire life by the man who raised me to hate my own kind, that they were beasts. So, I hid behind my own illusion not letting anyone see me, because i believed no one could ever love what i am." He said looking down at your joined hands "but, your beautiful." You said as his eyes met yours "so are you dove?" He smiled reaching up cupping your cheek.

"If I am being honest, I was enchanted with you the moment I ran into you. Your smile, your bright beautiful eyes, your wit... you are more beautiful then you know." He said smiling "and the day i was called away...we were called away, I was going to ask if you would allow me to court you." He said taking another step forward, his chest pressing to yours "so y/n, will you do me the honor of being mine?" He asked. "I would love nothing more Loki." You smiled leaning into his touch. "May I do something I have wanted to do since I met you?" He asked leaning his face closer to yours "y..yes..." you breathed feeling his lips gently brush yours, it was soft and perfect but you needed more.

You leaned up into him, reaching a hand into his hair you deepened the kiss, nipping at his bottom lip with your teeth hearing him groan, feeling his lips parts you slipped your tongue past them, exploring his mouth feeling his hand wrap around the back of your head, his other sliding around your waist pulling you onto him. You pulled back slightly panting pressing your forehead to his "that was better then I imagined." He whispered making you laugh. "So, would you like to join me for coffee tomorrow?" You asked looking up into his eyes "yes, I would like that very much." He said smiling. "Allow me to walk you to your room." He said lacing his fingers with yours he guided you down the hall, stopping in front of your door he brought your hand to his lips kissing the back of it. "Goodnight y/n, I will see you in the morning." He said releasing your hand making you immediately miss his touch.

"Ok, see you then." You said opening your door slowly walking in. You looked around the dark room, your heart already missing him you looked back seeing him start down the hall "Loki.." you called out watching him turn back with a smile "yes dove?" He asked stepping closer. "Fuck it." You whispered gripping the front of his shirt you drug him to you, latching your lips to his as he let you pull him inside kicking the door closed behind him. For the first time in your life you were never happier to just be you...

@vbecker10 @mochie85 @lokisgoodgirl @springdandelixn @kinky-faerie @xorpsbane @midnights-ramblings @simping-for-marvel @holdmytesseract @kkdvkyya @slpnbty2001 @lokixryss @vane28282 @violethaze @coldnique @aniar4wniak @nate-ate-hate @buttercupcookies-blog @brattymum96 @dukes2581 @your-taste-on-my-lips @mybabyh @blog-the-lilly @irishhappiness @sinsandguilt @filthyhiddles @lovebyloki @kikster606 @javagirl328 @misunderstoodself @highkeysimpingforloki @eleniblue @commanding-officer @athalialaufeyson @stupidthoughtsinwriting @lokiandbuckysdoll @loopsisloops @joyful-enchantress @jaidenhawke @silverfire475 @high-functioning-lokipath @kittiowolf210 @slytherclaw1227 @joyfullymassivewhispers @wolfsmom1 @libbybeaz @lokikissesmyforehead @goblingirlsarah @thomase1

[animentality]

(Leaps in askbox now its clear) Howdy! I'm curious about your opinions on the companions, like initial thoughts and now that you've clocked in an unhealthy (affectionate) amount of hours? We know what you'd change but how about everyone as is? Thanks!

Alrighty, I can finally answer this one...

Ok.

Man. This is gonna be a long one.

We're gonna start with the shorter opinions first.

Minthara:

I have not done a run where Minthara was alive in Act 2. I literally know almost nothing about her.

I think she's hot and has the sexiest voice of all the female characters, but I know nothing about her story, other than she was a lesbian with Orin. I do wanna try and romance her, but.

Who knows if I'll ever get around to it.

Minsc:

I get that he's a fan favorite from the old games, but I kind of hate him. He feels like fanservice, and I didn't get a nostalgia boner for him, so he does nothing for me as a character.

I honestly kill him. Not out of malice, just more out of, why even have him be here?

Plus I tend to go through the entire game without swapping my party members, because I'm pretending it's a real dnd campaign.

And I ain't changing my team comp for this weirdo who only shows up at the very end.

Sorry to his hamster when I kill him, though.

Jaheira:

She's ok. I don't hate her, but she doesn't do it for me. I don't get why she's Russian. And apparently the only Russian in the whole game.

She also feels like fanservice.

Plus she fucking drops ice storms on everyone's goddamn HEADS when they're already in Hunger of Hadar, and honestly?

We have beef. I let her die sometimes, for that crime specifically. I also skip her house, because it doesn't have good loot, besides the scimitars, and I don't play races or classes that use scimitars. like ever.

Halsin:

I like Halsin generally, he's inoffensive to me, but his "romance" is so bad. It's shallow, it feels tacked on, which it was, and everyone knows how much I HATE how little his sexual trauma is focused on.

I romanced him twice, and both times, I was underwhelmed and kind of shrugged him off.

He should just be a fling option like Mizora. He shouldn't have become a "romance" option. It's fine for him to be a big buff bear hippie that you can fuck, but a companion?

He's got nothing to do with Act 3. It's a detriment to his character and the game, tbh.

Ok, that's the smaller ones out of the way. Now mains:

Astarion:

I got into BG3 for Astarion.

I fully admit it. I saw a scene of him screaming at Tav for blasting him with the sun beam from the githyanki creche, and it was funny as fuck.

Neil Newbon is highly charismatic, and truly elevates a character I don't find that physically attractive. His personality and enthusiasm shine through, and his voice acting is superb. And I am a sucker for angst and redemption and themes of abuse and breaking free of toxic relationships. And darkly, I admit. I do like the more twisted nature of his backstory, the way he had to use his body to survive, has a bad relationship with sex, and was tortured repeatedly. As anyone who reads my writing knows...I am a disgusting sadistic pervert.

That being said.

I no longer like Astarion. Well. No. I like Astarion.

I don't like his fans, or his rhetoric. Astarion has the better writing of BG3, but the lack of nuance from his fans annoys the shit out of me, and overexposure to him as a character, since Tumblr and TikTok are obsessed with him?

No me gusta. I don't hate him as a character, but I can't stand to see Astarion is so perfect posts. He's not, and that's the whole point. He's awful, but you people don't appreciate that. I don't want to see Astarion x Tav headcanons. And I especially do not care about the BookTok crowd being obsessed with him because they just like a dommy vampire, and disrespect his narrative with absolutely no self awareness.

BookTok Astarion is SO GODDAMN BORING. They really just reduce him to a hot dommy vampire daddy, and that's why I never take BookTok recs. Pure garbage.

So. TL;DR - I got BG3 for him, but overexposure to his fans made me be significantly less interested in him. It's a good thing. If I was obsessed with Astarion, I'd be forced to interact with his fans. Thank god for Gortash... I'm free of that prison.

Lae'zel:

I loved Lae'zel the minute she was mean to me.

She's hot as fuck, like seriously, so hot, her neck makes me sweat something fierce, and her voice is sultry and raspy and hostile. just how i like my women.

But I admit...she's too fucking meta. gameplay wise, she's probably the strongest companion you can have for DPS...so I admit...I've had her on my teams so much, that I am sick of her.

And again! It's not because she's badly written. I actually think her character is really strong, and really awesome. I also think her arc is amazing, going from this devoted cult member to basically saying I'm going to fucking kill a god.

I actually teared up a little at the creche this one time, when I had to beg her to stay, and she was like, you knew I had no other path to follow, but this one, or something like that.

But.

But I have beaten the game with her in my party like three times. I've had her in my party on Honor mode like...a million times.

So, tl;dr - I love her to death, but gameplay wise, she's so strong that I can't play her anymore.

Shadowheart:

Ok...I admit it.

I don't like Shadowheart. I find her boring visually, because she's just this generically hot white girl. She was designed to be the companion that all straight cis white men would want to see naked, and that's fine but uh.

Does absolutely nothing for me.

I don't care for her personality either. I don't like her lines, all coy and vaguely condescending. I don't really like how mean she is to you, and it's different from Lae'zel, because at least Lae'zel came from a warrior culture that doesn't put much value on flowery language. Lae'zel makes sense.

Shadowheart is an amnesiac who's just mean to you because.

I also don't care for her story, at all.

Don't care about Shar's Gauntlet or her kidnapped backstory. Don't give a shit about her parents. Don't care that she's scared of wolves or that her hand hurts.

I like the overarching thematic bridge that her character exists on, specifically that the gods will demand everything of you, and will hurt you for their own amusement.

But as a companion...no.

I have never been interested in romancing her. I never have her on the party, except to get that achievement.

I also don't like clerics. I think they're kind of weak, tbh. They're heal bots. They're really only good for spirit guardians, glyph of warding, and removing status effects. Just don't care for that. I'm an all dps team, we have no room for healers.

TL;DR: I don't think Shadowheart is interesting design wise, story wise, or gameplay wise.

Karlach:

I loved Karlach the moment I saw her, I fell deeper in love with her the second I heard her voice, and I knew I would die and kill for her, when I saw her excited "I love you" confession scene.

Seriously.

I have said this before, and I will say it again.

Out of all of these characters, romanceable or not...

I would only marry Karlach in REAL LIFE. I'd never date a man like Gortash or Astarion. I might be friends with Gale, but he's too smart to be my boyfriend.

But Karlach. She brings the wife energy. She could throw me over her shoulder and bash me against the concrete, and I would say thank you, ma'am.

she's also so fucking fun to play. barbarian options in bg3 are so goddamn funny. you can intimidate everyone and just break shit. it's great. you can also constantly throw people AT PEOPLE. And it's great. She's way more fun than Lae'zel because of it.

No notes. Top tier character design. My wife.

But also FUCK the developers for only giving her two fucking quests, one of which is a FETCH IT quest and the other is just a lame boss fight.

And FUCK THEM for only originally giving her an ending where she either dies or becomes a mindflayer. WHY.

And the Avernus ending still annoys me, because the ENTIRE PARTY should be there too.

FUCK YOU LARIAN. Why do you hate Karlach???? You're monsters. She's never done anything wrong, and yet all you do, is wrong her.

Bullshit.

Wyll:

Ok.

Hard truth time.

Wyll is the hottest male companion.

Like.

No cap. Everyone who says Gale, or Astarion, or Halsin-

Incorrect. It's Wyll. He is literally so hot, with the white eye and those sexy throat scars. Hrrrrrrr.

Also, controversial opinion. I actually like his devil form.

I think it makes him even hotter. I do wish he had wilder hair, though.

That being said...

He's horribly underwritten.

I went in, thinking, he's so kind and nice and hot...and then I was disappointed by how little they gave him.

He, like Karlach, got hit with the cut content curse.

And it's so ugly.

And gross.

And honestly, I suspect it's racist.

But yeah.

I think he's really sweet and I like romancing him and all. But they didn't dedicate any time or effort to his romance, and I hate that. But not him. Never him.

TL;DR - my first impression of Wyll was wow, he's hot, I wanna know more about him, and my last impression is, wow, he's so hot, I hate that he has nothing going on because Larian simply didn't bother to give him shit to do.

Gale

Alright, I left Gale for last, because he has the MOST complicated relationship with me.

So I initially missed Gale, because my friend failed the strength check to get him out of the portal.

So for a while, I didn't even know he existed.

Then I started to see more of him on Tiktok and Tumblr, and I was like oh...ok. So...we missed him. Damn.

So I decided to try romancing him fairly early on....only to find out...

I absolutely despised that when he dies, he killed me with necrotic damage.

That pissed me off. In the early days, when I was new to the game, I think I once had a whole team wipe, because Gale and Lae'zel went down, and then Karlach went rampaging, set me on fire, and then died to Gale's necrotic...which is funny in hindsight, but it was annoying at the time.

The eating magical items thing was mildly annoying, but that was far worse.

I pretty much never ran Gale for a long period of time.

As the Dark Urge, I'd often kill him, in fact, just so I wouldn't have to deal with his Arcane Hunger.

And honestly, initially, I kind of disliked his personality too.

I think the first scene I ever saw of him was when you tell him he's ok in bed, and his response is like, I guess I'll go kill myself.

And honestly, I thought he had incel vibes because of it. Then add to the fact that he's rude to you, no matter what, when he needs his third item...and also add that to the annoying gameplay, PLUS the fact.

That I was rocking Sorceror and Warlock for most of my early runs, so didn't need a wizard...I said, no. No Gale.

I don't like Gale.

BUT.

Here's the thing, right?

I got into Gortash... and then I stepped away from Astarion. Started being obsessed with the Dark Urge...

And then I noticed that all of my Durgetash friends were super into Gale, and I didn't get why...

But then weavewithshadow specifically alerted me to the fact that... there are Gale and Gortash parallels...specifically, that they're both brilliant, scruffy, are blinded by ambition, can't appreciate the things they have, and keep chasing after things they can't quite reach.

And then I was like...ok, maybe I've been harsh on him...

So I did his romance...and I felt bad.

Because he's actually very sweet.

And his voice is reallllly lovely when it's soft and fond.

He's a poet...and then I felt bad for all the times I had chewed off his arm.

And honestly, with experience...I now know what to feed him. Mostly garbage magic items like Komira's dumb locket or the ring of color spray from the harpies' nest, or those dumb boots that electrify the water you stand in.

Plus, I'm smart enough to know how to keep Gale alive now, so the necrotic thing isn't an issue.

So.

So. TL;DR I had a very complicated relationship with Gale, first with his mechanics, then with this random out of context scene where he's kind of nasty to you. But I came around, and honestly...right now...I like him more than Astarion.

All he wants to do is...live.

And I relate to that.

And his romance scenes are nice, and he has more of an arc than most of the other companions, Astarion aside.

So there you go, anon.

This took forever to write.

Thanks for the ask, though.

[imanopossum]

maybe people are just blocking you because you're spamming the henry tag with irrelevent drama? tumblr isn't like twitter or tiktok. no one really cares about that kind of stuff here. most of us just find it bothersome. we tend to adhere to "don't like, don't read" or "block and move on" or "fiction ≠reality". I can see why that might not be intuitive to a newly-adult teenage fan, given how twitter and tiktok work, but we really do like the rules from the golden era of fandom around here.

anyway yeah. people will absolutely enjoy your content until you become more bothersome than it's worth. that's kind of how tumblr works. most of us are over 20 years old, and a good portion are out of college and have a full time job. we just want to see posts about our faves, not a tag full of wank and beef over a non-issue. it kills the mood. none of us want to come home after an 8 hour shift to a tag full of needless negativity. it's just tiring, aggravating, and yes, annoying.

the vibe in the henry tag was really chill before you started picking fights and clogging the tags with posts mocking people for blocking you.

if anyone's bitching about you, they're not doing it in the tag, thank god. i don't think i could handle two people beefing in the tag incessantly.

ok tagging i can understand, and yeah i did just get tumblr. so you’re right about that, i don’t hesitate to agree when you have a valid point. but fiction≠reality isn’t entirely true, it can still affect people in real life.

the issue is if if it was one person, yeah just block and move on. but somehow, the entire henry tag is littered with content of an extremely problematic ship which somehow people don’t understand is problematic. so now i have no choice but to either leave the fandom entirely, which would suck because this is such a niche fandom and i wish i could interact with normal people who enjoy what i enjoy, or call out how weird this ship is. and yeah, when i get on tumblr i want to see good silly posts about my favorite characters too. i don’t want to see his abuse be romanticized all lana del rey core. i don’t want to see everybody calling henry brenner’s malewife after everything brenner has done to him. and vastly incorrect interpretations of characters who get hate for no reason other than that (when the fuck did patty sexually abuse henry? did we see the same goddamn play? did you not see how her saying she loved him snapped him out of mind flayer control and he said he loved her back? i’m genuinely so confused and bewildered by that.)(also, i don’t really care if people headcanon henry as gay, but EVERYONE is so gung ho about it and treat it like it’s fact when it’s not, it’s an opinion, and that’s fine but if someone has the audacity to say he’s not they get attacked and get called homophobic, and that’s not a reason to hate patty.), yet any time i log onto the tag i see that and can’t avoid it. and i’m sick of it

and how am i the one picking fights when all i did was one singular vague post and then certain people have been incessantly posting about me and victimizing themselves and invalidating other peoples traumas ever since

(also if you assume a vague post is about you, and say you were waiting for people to criticize a certain fic you’re writing, maybe that’s a sign you shouldn’t be writing it and know you’re the problem?)

[lauren-no-why]

💎📌💔 for Lord Huron?

💎 are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?

Ooh ok yes. Fun fact, Peter Mendoza is an absolute treasure and I really am bummed he didn't have more of a role in Vide Noir. He played Alex, Johnnie's brother/World Enders leader, and of course he didn't even have a single speaking line. Which is a DAMN SHAME because he's a fantastic actor! Mostly he does live theater which crushes me as I am not in LA and can't go see it, but he had a lead role in the second season of Perry Mason (HBO) as Mateo Gallardo. He's a big champion of bringing Latino voices and stories to film and TV. He's also a real sweetheart - I think I may be the only person who has done fanart for him ever and he freaked out in the best way when he saw my drawing of Alex and shared it with everyone he knew, haha. Treasure your small time, up and coming actors and let them know how appreciated they are!

📌 how did you find your hyperfixation?

A friend of mine (@leucrotta, you've done this to me and I thank you) and I were doing memes on another social media site that involved linking songs/playlists back and forth for our favorite characters/stories in an RPG we were in. Meet Me In the Woods was the song sent to me and boy did I love that and have to go listen to more.

And as much as I liked Strange Trails a lot and rocked that album for a while, Vide Noir is the one that really got its hooks into me thanks to Ancient Names pt. 1. The implications of some kind of strange, vaguely cosmic horror thing going on made me really want to know what the heck was going on in this song. I'd also seen The World Ender music video by then and had noticed that Hurricane was specifically written as "(Johnnie's Theme)" so I was like ok, clearly there are characters and related stories going on in here, there must be a write up somewhere. Went to reddit as the first line of searching, where the wiki was linked, and I basically just read everything on the wiki until I had absorbed it all over the course of like a week as my nightly reading. So yeah, that's how I became well and truly obsessed, haha.

💔 tell us about one of your LEAST favorite characters and why you dislike them.

Mmm, most of the characters designed to be unlikable I still find super interesting as characters. I mean, I joke about hating fuckboy stalker Buck Vernon who can't let a girl go, but like, I don't actually hate him at all, it's just entertaining to make fun of him.

I think the only real contender here is Andrew Winthrop. Fuck that guy. But he's super fucking dead as is his entire corporation now as far as we know. I absolutely love The World Ender as a story of anticapitalist and anticolonial revenge. That's the kind of fantasy I'm super here for.

Winthrop himself is barely a character though, he's really just an archetype. But I'm ok with that. I will hate him regardless.

[albiorix-l]

Jrwitober Day 31- 5 years of jrwi

Ok, this one isn’t much of a writing prompt. Not like I know how to make todays prompts into one anyway. And for anyone looking at my account, yeah, I didn’t keep up with it at all. Everything’s been very busy and I just couldn’t find time unfortunately, especially as each one just got longer.

However, I just wanted to use todays little thing to express my complete love for this show and everything about it (except felipe, I want to strangle that guy).

I haven’t been watching since the start. More like the second half of 2022, when slimecicle left the Chuckle Sandwich podcast and, with that being one of my main comforts, lead me to search for other stuff he’d done.

Then I found it. I think I started with the Prime Force one shots, and fell in love with it, though I wasn’t very happy when I found out the rest was behind a paywall. The black rose one shot wasnt the most entertaining thing and I was a little worried to see what the riptide campaign was going to be like. Alas, I gave it a shot.

And. Wow. From the start I was so into it I couldn’t stop watching (doing 8-10 hours a day when I had a free day, I was so into it) and even when I had something else going on, the second I got home I just couldn’t stop. I caught up decently quickly, and after a couple months of rewatching old episodes, I sent my friend, who i had only known for a little while at this point, a BITB animatic. I thought it was cool and I get way too excited about it when I like stuff.

Thankfully, she liked it too, and we decided to both get the Patreon. That’s when I went absolutely insane. BITB, while I won’t go into depths, was amazing, and I finished it in 2 days. But Prime defenders, which id watched the free eps for a while, and that id read enough fics to vaguely be spoiled of s1, was so so so much better than I could’ve expected. Every second of it was incredible, and from May ish when I got it to now, i am continually enthralled by everything about it. I love bizly’s dming, the characters, the story, all the heartfelt moments that I even cried a good amount at.

Jrwi, and largely pd, have become such a big part of my life that I have to stop myself or I doubt I’ll shut up. And that friend I mentioned? We went from strangers to just enough friends I sent her that fateful video to practically siblings, all because I shared my interest with her. We were both the first people we came out to, helped each other through so much in the year and a bit we’ve known each other, and I love her like my sister.

All because of an animatic about a bug horror thing.

And of course, the community. The people I’ve met, mostly those in a jrwi fic server, are so talented and funny and they’re all amazing. I’ve had the chance to write and post on ao3 after reading it for I think 5 years, and the kindness in this community is so incredible it’s almost whiplash to go back to the real world.

So thank you, jrwi. For all you’ve done for me and everyone who watches you.

Sincerely,

An inspired fan

[asksoldieron]

SO-24: Whatever Happened to Poor John?

If there's a lot of engagement on this, this post is liable to get real long, beware before you expand.

No art, but I am working on it and I will add it retroactively. The eyes are letting me draw, just real slow.

Welcome to the Engagement Lounge, for La Goualante du Pauvre John (253|24) an instalment! Short comments can go in the replies, but there's a 475 character limit. Longer ones will need a reblog. Remember to @asksoldieron if you're reblogging someone else's reblog, so I can see it too!

Woo! We just got back from a 2 night stay on a houseboat, it was definitely trying to kill us (I'll do a post on the main blog later, I have so many scary pictures), and we loved it anyway. So I'm distracted, but I did manage to unwind a little. No wifi, only phones! But I think I got pretty much everything formatted OK before we left. We'll see!

Now it's time to back up and see what happened to John after he smacked into the Elysium Inn's glass door and escaped into the wild! His friends picked him up and they're ready to do more terrorism together! ...Well, maybe in a little bit. They all need a break to unwind, too, but they're not gonna get it. Jenny will put her big brother back together as best she can, but she's going to be a little irritated with Erik and Co. and everyone else who allowed him to break down that badly.

And we end on a cliffhanger! The "real spy" is suddenly revealed! Unfortunately, that'll be all you get for about two months, unless I can put something cool together for our birthday in April. It's doubtful.

The spouse and I are about to have the most stressful two months of the year (probably... hopefully). He's got to prep for his CPA exam, which is 8+ hours of testing over multiple days. They will require him to do two practice cases a week, timed, the longest of which will take 5 hours. We expect adding that much fake accountant business on top of his actual job and everything else we gotta do will fry his brain. And there's the added stress that the test costs thousands of dollars. If the unlikely happens and he fails this time, taking it again will hurt. We can swing it, but it'll hurt.

It looks like his current employer has his back, though. The capitalist exploitation is different up here! A promotion to a better-paying position that will qualify for the experience he needs to be a full CPA (he needs 2.5 years) is in the works. If he gets it, he can stay with them, and they'll pick up his school costs. His dream job is still doing actual, meaningful work for a nonprofit of some kind, but he can hack this one for another 2.5 years if necessary. As long as we can still afford food and housing! I think we can. The whole immigration thing seems a bit backed up, but when we're allowed to own property, we can afford a floating house like that houseboat we stayed at. Not exactly like it, dear god no, but similar. That may be what our future holds.

But we gotta make it to June, first! I have no idea what my internet life will look like or how often you'll see me, but I'll try to get some stuff done. Hopefully, I can come back with another six, illustrated, as soon as the stress abates. Thank you for your patience until then!

[Back to Site?]

[pesterloglog]

John Egbert, Vriska Serket

Page 491-496

JOHN: vriska!!!

VRISKA: Well well well, looks like 8ingo let out early!

JOHN: oh man, i found you just in time! i need you to come back with me, and–

JOHN: wait, how are you already free?

JOHN: and why are you covered in leafs

VRISKA: Leaves.

JOHN: weren't you supposed to be in the "clutches" of jane, or something?

VRISKA: John... do you really think I would need YOU to 8ust me out of some rinky dink operation like that?

VRISKA: Escaping some cushy human prison is gru8's play to me. They didn't even try to torture us!

VRISKA: Even my protégé managed to free herself of this sad excuse for a facility.

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: wait, rose's kid was here with you?

VRISKA: That's what I said! Try and keep up, cryptkeeper.

JOHN: ok, well, if you would stop shaking your head and look at me you'd know i am rolling my eyes so hard right now.

JOHN: anyway!!

JOHN: where do i begin! uhh... ok, so roxy has this secret lair that's for some reason hidden underneath our old bed, the world is gonna fall apart... umm what else... oh! there's this thingy called "the Plot Point"--

VRISKA: Yeah, I know.

JOHN: you know?

VRISKA: Yes!!!!!!!! I Know!!!!!!!!

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: what else do you already know? :o

VRISKA: John! Focus! I can't have you holding me 8ack just 8ecause you're slow and old now!

JOHN: aw ):

VRISKA: Ease up, Eg8ert.

JOHN: ok, ok, fine.

JOHN: ...

JOHN: wait, hold on. back up. vrissy is gone??

VRISKA: You are really getting caught up in the minutiae aren't you?

JOHN: please don't tell me you guys were trying to escape through a tunnel crossing a water pipe and she sacrificed herself by sealing the pipe closed from the outside, giving you the chance to escape?

VRISKA: What the hell are you talking a8out????????

VRISKA: No, you know what, don't answer that.

JOHN: its from a show!

VRISKA: John, she's a Vriska. She can handle herself! I'm sure she can take anything this fake-ass timeline can throw at her!

JOHN: what?

JOHN: fake? what do you mean?

VRISKA: This universe! Haha! It's a fake! Fakey fake fake.

JOHN: you can say fake as many times as you want, i still won't know what you mean!

VRISKA: Pleeeeeeeease don't tell me none of you have noticed!

VRISKA: This whole universe is like someone's shitty RP, and everyone's out of character! None of this reads!

VRISKA: Like, who the FUCK is Yiffy!!!!!!!! Why should I or anyone CARE????????

JOHN: i mean

JOHN: i don't really get it either, but i had this long talk with roxy, and that feels relevant to this?

VRISKA: Yuck, don't even want to think a8out that whole mess.

VRISKA: What were you two even thinking with that, 8y the way? What was setting sail on that dingy schooner of a relationship ever going to accomplish?

JOHN: don't call my marriage a dingy schooner! it was a completely reasonably sized ship!

JOHN: we had our reasons!

JOHN: i am pretty sure!

VRISKA: Yeah, you sound super sure a8out all of this.

VRISKA: Making up pro8lems to have pro8lems!

VRISKA: So lame.

JOHN: it does sound... kind of bad.

JOHN: but that doesn't mean it's fake!

VRISKA: Come oooooooon!

VRISKA: Do you honestly think I spent all that time commanding a kickass ghost army to not know a haplessly doomed little world when I see one?

VRISKA: I can practically smell it on you!

JOHN: hey, not this again!

JOHN: i smell completely normal!

JOHN: my odor is well within "real john" standards thank you very much.

VRISKA: This is exactly what I'm talking a8out. No8ody real would say that.

VRISKA: You're like a sadder, less interesting version of a guy I kind of liked talking to. When was the last time you did........ anything?

JOHN: i get around. i've been talking to people. i just talked to a new guy on the way.

VRISKA: Snore!

VRISKA: What happened to the guy that punched me in the face?

JOHN: that guy is right here, he's still me!

JOHN: ok, wait, that makes me sound way too proud of myself.

VRISKA: It was like the 8est thing you've ever done!

JOHN: it was not! you're just weird!!!

JOHN: anyway what i am saying is, this is just how it's been for a while?

VRISKA: Surely you can see that's a pro8lem? 8e serious.

JOHN: i am serious! and don't call me shirley.

VRISKA: Ugh.

JOHN: (hehe.)

JOHN: it is true though, everything did feel pretty... pointless for a long time. and it would bother me SO MUCH!

JOHN: when i was living by myself i would consider where to go next. except there was no "next." nothing was worth trying for anymore.

JOHN: but harry is. he's real!

VRISKA: ::::/

VRISKA: As real as a guy can get, stuck here.

JOHN: what, like he could be magically more real???

JOHN: load him up in some silly circus cannon and blast him out of the mirror verse!

JOHN: hahahahaha

JOHN: actually you might think this is kind of funny!

JOHN: a long time ago i was supposed to go back and defea-

VRISKA: SNOOOOOOOORE!

VRISKA: Your ecto-human-guardian-si8ling or whatever is pro8a8ly sending a squad of 8ozos to apprehend your ex as we speak. So I say the less we talk and the sooner we 8low this gru8sickle stand, the sooner we can get there 8efore we lose access to our shortcut.

JOHN: yeah when you spell it all out like that i can see what y-

JOHN: wait, WHAT!!!

JOHN: why didn't you just say that earlier?!

VRISKA: John. That's what I've 8een doing this whole time!

VRISKA: Now, c'mon! Race you there!!!!!!!!

JOHN: hey, that's not fair!

VRISKA: Last one there is a rotten egggggggg(8ert)! >::::)

[jackienautism]

Now I’m really curious about your thoughts on the other counselors. I don’t really have any strong opinions on them much tbh idk why. Maybe it’s the whole “horny teenager” trope or something

(finally getting around to this. sorry for taking so long dfkldg)

yeaaaah fair enough dfgjndg thats exactly why i get pissed off playing the game tbh. it just becomes so convoluted with this romantic whatever bullshit that it gets SUPER TIRING...... but that's ok though bc silas kaylee and caleb need someone to love them unconditionally right?

anywho! i appreciate you wanting to see my other unfiltered opinions on the characters kdfgdfjg bc gosh do i have a lot. especcially for TQ bitches. as i just ssaid,

i AM going to get unfiltered and potentially brutal so if anyone is your ultimate bestie i recommend not reading (abi and laura are safe though of course<3) (mainly because nothing about either of them necessarily irritated me LOL and im easy to irritate)

im going to reference my thoughts on the characters from a note i wrote after playing through like ? chapter 4 for the first time. but honestly not miuch has changed. and just to preface this a good portion of my negative opinions come from the campfire scene in chapter 2 LOL like. when i first played the game i began disliking like more than half the characters here alone

//

dylan: talked about him here (its not positive)

//

nick: i just think hes a prick who doesn't deserve abi 🤷 of course he was given the short end of the stick in terms of screentime, but its kind of funny bc kaitlyn has a similar amount of Actual walk around time and she's there like. the entire game LMAO so yeah that pisses me off. nick has 3 moments where you play as him, and kaitlyn has 5/6, depending on how you separate her section in chapter 10. they both have the same amount of Get To Explore And Walk Around time though, which is a whopping total of one thanks guys. anywho. even before he began acting like a creep i didnt like him lol... and no surprise but it all stems from chapter 2...

long story short, i dont doubt that nick actually cares for abi and likes her but i think in the grand scheme of things it mostly has to do w/ him wanting tits and ass... sort of similar to mike's whole deal... and i believe this based on the bullshit he pulls w/ emma. yeah he says that "tHiS mIgHt NoT bE a GoOd IdEa" and yet he still plays along despite dylan saying that 2 people can kiss AS LONG AS everyone consents. he could've gotten out of the situation. and yet he fucking didnt. i dont care if he didnt realize the consequences of his actions, if he TRULY liked abi he wouldnt have done this shit in the first place. "ive had my moments, im not proud of some of the stuff ive done" DOG YOU JUST HAD A MOMENT AND YOURE NOT EVEN FUCKING APOLOGIZING TO THE PERSON YOU HURT!!!!!! idc if it technically wasnt totally his fault. he still was involved in humiliating and upsetting abi. all he blames it on is playing alonog with emma's plan to make jacob jealous and aside from that just being such a shitty anf fucked up excuse in general, its not even ???? true?????????? GOD. IM SORRY. THE WHOLE SITUATION MAKES ME SO UPSET

//

jacob: as said in my previous TQ / UD rankings... i really flip flop w/ him alot. however im def leaning towards neutral to dislike NGL. i HAAATED his whole thing w/ emma like incredibly so. however. i did feell real bad for him during chapter 1, despite already knowing that he was the one to bust the truck up and keep everyone there another night. i felt bad despite already having a reason TO dislike him. kaitlyn was being mean for no reason. nick and dylan were being mean for no reason. it's just... it's almost like he was being used as the group's laughing stock. but as time went on i just continually became less and less willing to sympathize . hell, he's just a INFINITELY less sympathetic josh... of course seeing him crying and upset in ch 3 was sad, but at this point i don't really know what he expected im sorry. he really dragged all these other people into his bullshit with emma. and it's more than clear how emma feels about their relationship, of course emma wasn't great either with him, but jacob isn't an angel ... EITHER in this situation. of COURSE he couldn’t have known that the night would go the way it does, but it doesn’t negate the fact that fucking up the truck was a shitty move regardless LMAO as said previously, i HAAATe how fucking possessive he is of her. like when nick tells jacob that he could see what emma wantss? and jacob just laughs it off? it's so fucking stupid dog. character wise though, he of course has a lot going for him and i can see why people find appeal in him. especially seeing hwo many stereotypes theyre subverting, in terms of jacob showing emotions and shit. but for me personally, it's a no

//

ryan: my man🤝 even after all this time.... i find him very respectable and i very much appreciate him. similar to my deal w/ abi, even his more "asshole-ish" moments / dialogue choices (aside from a few off the top of my head LOL) are like. justified... and in character... like. him being so pissed off at and wary of laura? like????? laura is my beloved but this random girl just popped out of nowhere, killed one of his closest friends, and now wants to kill what he has of a father figure? like yeah id be acting like ryan too if i were put into his situation LMAO yeah you can be annoyed w/ his actions and behavior, but in context? the way he's acting is understandable and justified. it doesnt DESERVE criticism, because there's nothing to criticize! he's acting as any normal person would! of COURSE it's annoying how he doesn't BELIEVE laura, that's a whole other can of worms, but overall he's allowed to be a pissed off little bitch. and him potentially going against the whole party idea? that line of dialogue is just more in character for him i will not accept any other answer. it makes no sense that he'd suddenly go against chris' word. and it PISSES ME OOOOFF seeing how the game still like ? has ryan show up to the party despite being adamant against it.

ANYWAY.... ppl don't appreciate his autistic swag like i do. "he has no character" "he's boring" TO YOU. y'all rly see a character mainly speak in a monotone voice and rarely smile / show expression and go. yeah he's boring . do you not see the like . connotations of that. like be for real. he’s like. one of the only few genuinely good ppl here lmao and seeing how chris says that ryan is one of his fave counselors and how he TRUSTS him enough to hold all this responsibility + have all these in depth talks w him it’s just. you see what kind of person ryan is just from that. and how so far ryan is the only character (while you’re in control) who’s able to interject whatever bullshit is being said at the moment it just. i’m sorry. he’s just a good guy. i respect how he’s willing to go against the bulk of the group during the whole party or lodge thing. i also respect that he’s willing to put a fucking end to dylan’s invasive fucked up truth question. i KNOW that it all depends on the Player to choose these specific options BUT. they just fit ryan’s character more so🤷 what can i say. fuck everyone else

//

max: my bf (real)

laura: my gf (real)

abi: me (irl)

//

emma: in my original note i said that i was leaning torwards neutral to dislike lmao....... oh have the turns havbe tabled. anywho. i think shes such a stupid dumbass bitch. she's so funny for no goddamn reason. i am shoving her down a flight of stairs. i love her character sooo much. i hate how she acted with jacob (despite most of it being her people pleaser side Showing but, that's a whole different conversation i am willing to have). she's suuuuch a beloved but gooooooood god i draw the line at being such a shitty friend to abi. that's my biggest complaint when it comes to emma and her actions. i understand that she has a moment where she's like "you're my best friend, i need you" and i fucking eat that shit up but almost everything else that happens and happens prior..... just goddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

to get started. most of this is gonna be nitpicky and personal shit, so if you think it's small and shouldn't be addressed, then you're probably right LOL im just ultra sensitive to this sort of stuff due to past personal experiences. ANYWAY!!!!!! you know the little teasy comment emma makes towards abi after you avoid hitting the squirrel? how she's like, "this is her first time asking a guy out like EVER"? it makes me wanna beat her up fr kldfggnfg bc it's like... it's not a thing to joke about... i see sooo much of myself in abi meaning i see her as autistic and that's just. you know how much being autistic hinders those sort of abilities? i obviously can't say for sure but, seeing how abi later talks about people wantingher to interact w/ others better? hence why she went to summer camp in the first place? i'd say that probably isn't too outrageous to think...

and sort of continuing off that same topic, when abi is having trouble choosing someone for truth or dare, how emma is just like. "ding ding ding, my turn!" LIKE. AS HER FRIEND. WHO PROBABLY KNOWS ABOUT HOW MUCH ABI STRUGGLES SOCIALLY. DON'T YOU THINK SHE'D BE LIKE? "OHH ABI JUST PICKK ME" INSTEAD OF HUMILIATING HER? LIKE. BC THERES SOOO MANY DIFF WAYS OF MOVING ON AND HELPING ABI OUT....... GOING ABOUT IT THW WAY EMMA DID ISN'T THE WAY TO GO......... ESPECIALLY KNNOWING HOW SOCIALLY ANXIOUS ABI IS.... anyway. while we're on the campfire scene, it's so fucked why she chooses to kiss nick lmao like ok yeah it may work in the end (potentially) but its still ?????????????? girl you know how much abi likes nick (SUPPOSEDLY) why go about this shit in the most destructive way possible? and what makes me even MORe mad is that. they dont even ever address this scene ever again???? despite it being such a huge and humiliating and probably traumatizing moment for abi??????????? YES they're able to have a more in depth andf heart to heart conversation about their relationship. but its not fucking enough! bc that fucking stupid ass dare and its outcome was the catalyst for the rest of the night's events lmao! imagine beign brushed aside and seen as a social fucking experiment for your entire life. which is something im SURE abi has felt and experienced. and emma, her best friend, LITERALLY CONTRIBUTES TO THAT!!!!!! ITS SO FUCKED AND IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY. i could probably go on about this topic but ill leabe it for a separate post i guess anyway if i were abi id be fucking pissed off and upset

her character means so very much to be like her whole people pleaser and "curate myself to each individual person ive ever met to keep them fromn leaving me" resonates so so much with me and i love it so much. ive talked about this b4 in a previous post but i can only imagine how lonely she feels, acting the way she acts. no one will ever truly know who she is. shes in a constant state of performance. every single person she's ever met has a different perception of her in their head. and, in one way or another, it's all wrong!!!! i love you emma mountebank i love you abigail blyg

//

kaitlyn: i wont even lie i instantly fell in love w her after hearing the INSANE shit she says fnsjfjsnf esp felt it after the “jacob go upstairs. jacob get bag. kaitlyn moves on with her goddamn life” fell in love fr. and her whole stupid monologue after jacob was like "yeah i mean, what did i expect would happen?" SHES LITERALLY INSANE. but. like. i was not and still Am not happy w how she treated abi during the campfire scene though. due to 1. her telling abi to basically hurry the fuck up despite seeing how much she was GENUINELY struggling, and also potentially knowing about her social struggles prior. bc they're friends. right? and 2. just coming up wiht the dare in general lol it was such a fucked up thing to do and as ive said w/ emma, the fact theyre unable to actually jhave a convo abt it later is suuuuper dumb and shitty imo. esp seeing just how upset abi got, and the most fucked up thing is, neither kaitlyn NOR emma seem to show any remorse for it!!!!! that's just so fucked up

anywho. hate how both of their asian girls (emily in until dawn) are characterized as bossy and very. my way or the highway. it’s actually real fucked up in that light. fuck you supermassive. y’all are lucky that these 2 characters are their respective games’ baddest bitches . i SUPPOSE it isn’t THAT as big of a deal in this game bc. there are like. objectively more unlikable characters (in the guys AND girls) so kaitlyn doesn’t stand out as much (as emily did. she was practically written to be hated. bc NO ONE ELSE was as strong personality wise as her. i suppose jess comes close but 1. i think ppl shit on her for other stupid shit anyway SO and 2. she effs off for more than half the game) but it still doesn’t make it ok lmao. bc it’s a trend that is very :/ mmmmmmm. even if it’s not that much of a cliche stereotype for asian women, seeing them write both of their asian girls ALMOST THE EXACT SAME WAY is a bit sussy goddamn baka. went off a bit there lmao. anyway. i’m a weak pussy bitch and after she softened after abi returned freaked out i 😭 i love you. more positive (and NON GUY related) interactions between the girlies please. i literally love her relationship w/ abi so much it's so interesting to me.

and just... to talk about her character real quick, i mmentioned in my tier list that her character frustrates me. and you wanna know why? ive talked abt this b4 but her character is basically a watered down emily davis. and i say this bc. they both overall are the same archetype. except. in kaitlyn's case. there's really no reason for me to like ???? feel bad for her? djjfggkj LIKE. THERE'S LITTLE TO NO SUBSTANCE TO HER CHARACTER.... AND THERE CERTAINLY ISNT MUCH TO FEEL SYMPATHETIC FOR..... i say this bc. almost all the other TQ characters have this moment of ): aw, here's why i should care about and feel bad for you. BUT KAITLYN????? NEVER REALLY OUTRIGHT HAS THAT MOMENT,..... it's almsot like they threw her in there and threw in her characteristics last second.... nothing's really established w/ her. you just. you just keeo finding new stuff about her as the game goes on. like. oh. shes a good shot. oh. she cares about abi. and shit like that. im probably explaining this so terribly rn but hopefully some sense can be made from this scramble. it's just.... thye toook away the interesting aspect(s) of emily'scharacter (her anxiety, her fear of death, her complex to be protected while being fully capable of protecting herslef in times of danger etc etc) and thus gave us kaitlyn. to me she just. she isnt that interesting character wise! there isnt much there for me to grow attached to! people only like her bc shes associated w/ dylan! like shes one of those characters where you sort of HAVE to mold and shape into something that's familiar and Good

re reading htis it really sounds like i don't like her fdjkdg BUT I DO I PROMISE.... i gotta stick w/ my asian girls

//

abi but for real: 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 do i even need to say anything? its like supermassive made a character purposely JessCore or something like that. i like. haven’t gone In Depth abt why i got so fucked up over what everyone else did to her during the camp fire scene but. know that it hit a little toooooo fucking close to home. like. I Could See Me Sitting There In Abi’s Spot and it HUUUUUUURT!!!!!!!!!!!! like ): seeing her avert her gaze and how she was fumbling over her words i ))): LIKE. AUGHH. esp after being asked THAT question? since not sleeping w/ anyone by this age is seen as “abnormal”? i could feel that so bad man ): no one deserves to be singled out like that. esp not a VERY much autistic girl who is pretty clear to be on the “outside” of the group. bc she’s not “normal” or not “like everyone else here” and it’s just. fuck you all fr choke. enough of that. i just. she’s so fucking cute too? like girl i love you so MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! her lil like. expressive noises and shit are so awesome and make me happy fnsjfjsf you only see them like twice BUT. you don’t really see that from the other characters. so basically: stims. autism. yeah. they rly made abi a little TOO realistic nd relatable fnsjfnnsf but ohhhh man do i love her oh so much. after the camp fire scene i was just. she’s my friend now fuck all of you

//

laura but for real: I MISSED HER AND MAX SOOOOO BAD WHILE PLAYING THROUGH CHAPTERS 1 - 6 SKLDDFJDF i was literally so upset and sad seeing that they werent at camp after the prologue. du eto like literallty all of the characters getting on my nerves I WANTED THEM TO COME HOME SOOOO BAD.... AFTER THE CAMP FIRE SCENE EVERYTHING WENT DOWNHILL AND I MIIISSSEED THEM SOO MUCH i needed them back for real. other than that though, i dont have much to say about laura. i mean of course she's my BELOVED i mean look at my user but. yeah! i think about her often and project some anger shit onto her<3 specifically towards travis for specific and personal reasons<3 even if it's not like character stuff or w/e i think about, i often just rotate herin my mind. i love her so much. plus she's literally a combo of emily and sam aka my 2 fave UD characters how could i not love her?

//

max but for real: i honestly dont have much to say abt him? and i suppose he and laura arent /technically/ a part of the other counselors since they never, yk, showed up. but w/e fdfjgndg i think he's neat. i honestly thought he was like one of the only Good Guys of the game when first playing through,. and that still holds true! i still see ryan as a great guy too though. max just seems like such a good partner and guy in general and i love him. don't necessarily think about him much but as i said before, he's my bf (real)

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Our Deepest Depressions Don’t Define Us: Part 1.

...

*After the message is delivered to the rest of the Future Foundation, everyone heads off to bed. Due to his injuries, Kuripa is allowed to stay in the café instead of the camper to assure comfort. However, he is unable to sleep still, and decides to head downstairs to get something to drink.

???: Yes, I know...Don’t blame Shuichi for this. It was entirely my idea.

...?

???: Yes, Mii-Yu is with me as well, so is Kibin, but the circumstances are...a little weird on that one...Yes, I know, I promise, when I come home and see you again, I’ll tell you everything.

*Hearing a voice, he opens the door to the café area after climbing down the stairs and sees a person sitting at the table, talking over the phone.

I promise you, it won’t happen again. I know we don’t keep secrets from each other, but there’s a lot going on right now and I had some personal stuff to take care of.

I’ll be back as soon as you know it...Thanks for understanding. See you later.

*Kaede hangs up.

Who was that?

Gah!? Uh...hey. 

What are you doing still up? It’s late out.

I could say the same to you you know?

I have an EXCUSE. I already slept through basically half a day after killing Katagiri. What are you up to?

I was just...letting Kaito know that we’re safe and sound...not to mention where we are right now...

Where you are-Are you serious? You didn’t TELL them?

They would have tried to stop us from coming and I didn’t want them getting wrapped up in all this. You would have done the same.

...

*Kuripa sits next to her.

Something’s fucky.

Sorry?

You’ve been acting weird ever since we reunited in the factory, and now I find out that you ditched your friends to come here over a message that may or may not have been a trap. Dragging your boytoy along with you not to mention.

Plus, upon immediately finding out the scope of Rantaro’s plan, you immediately chose to attack him and steal from us, even though we meant you no damage. I still don’t forgive myself for what I did to you back there, but even so!

You’re the one who threw that knife. I just picked it up and threw it right back at you twice as hard. The Kaede Akamatsu I know isn’t that naïve! You keep jumping into dangers without a plan not thinking about what the consequences might be.

...

...

*Kuripa places a hand on Kaede’s shoulder.

If you don’t want to open up to me, that’s fine. But I want to fix this problem between us...

And I can’t do that if you keep acting out of it. What’s going on with you?

...

...Does it have something to do with...your universe?

Wha-!? H-How did you know!?

I’ve just been thinking...If I was transported to another universe with no way back to mine, I would have trouble fitting in.

If you’re having an existential crisis Akamatsu, just say so. We can all help you through it.

N-No, you’re misunderstanding. I AM thinking about the world I came from but...I’m not really looking for a way to go back.

...I think.

Dude...Whatever the issue is...Just tell me. Do you miss your world or not?

*sigh* Okay okay...

To be honest, no, I don’t miss my world. Far from it. Even though there was no real tragedy, my world was a sad place with a w

I’m living a great life in this world, and there’s no way I would ever take the chance to go back to mine...but...

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have any regrets...

Hoo...Ok, fine! This happened a LONG time ago and...it doesn’t really matter anymore? But...Let’s just say that you and I have always had something in common that I never told you about.

What are you saying?

I...I kind of forgot after waking up, but given time, my memories have returned to me. And I recalled something that happened before I was inducted into the Killing Game...

Kuripa...I’m not an only child. I have a twin sister.

You do!?

Yeah...Her name is Kaori...There is a bit of a story to it though. Do you have the time?

All in the world right now.

Thanks...To begin with...I didn’t really have a good relationship with my parents. My upbringing was pretty standard, but as soon as my talents as a pianist started to blossom, they tried to...use me and taken advantage of me...

What’s more, they basically ignored Kaori, since she didn’t have the same level of skill that I did. She was worthless to them.

When we were old enough, we moved out together to try and escape from them. For the longest time, it was successful, but...

I’m assuming things didn’t work out in the end?

Even though we were living together, we had completely separate lives. I don’t remember the specifics, but...my life continued to get better while Kaori’s got worse. She started spending a lot of money and I think she might have even joined a gang of delinquents.

...If I’m being honest, I don’t even know what started it...But we got into a huge fight one day. The end of that fight resulted in her covering my one and only piano at the time with gasoline and setting it on fire.

Oh boy...

I got angry and forcefully kicked her out of the house...and then...

Th-Then...

Akamatsu...!?

The police came to deliver the news for me...Kaori had been riding her motorcycle while drunk and she...drove into oncoming traffic.

!!!???

D-Did she...?

Yeah...

Shit...!

*Kuripa hangs his head.

To make a long story short, the reason why I acted out of sorts is because I remembered that...the anniversary for that event was yesterday.

That’s...NOT an excuse for...my actions. It happened a while ago but...I just didn’t feel like bringing the mood down...

This is it, isn’t it?

Huh?

It only makes sense...THIS is why you joined Danganronpa!

...With my parents using me as they did and with Kaori gone from my life...I looked at the world with nothing but pessimism and detest. No one was worth trusting back then. And Danganronpa seemed like the perfect way to escape from that sick reality.

By entering an even sicker one?

My mind wasn’t in a good place at the time, ok!? I needed an OUT!

No, I-I get it.

That’s what I mean though. I don’t want to go back there, but if there’s one thing I regret, it’s that I’ll never have a chance to visit her grave again...And I can’t forgive myself for entering Danganronpa just to erase her existence from my memories.

And...when we met in the factory, and you started telling me about your murder plan, I remembered that, and the situation with YOUR sister! And...and...!

Slow down! Wipe those eyes of yours and breathe...Other than me, how many people know about this?

*Kaede wipes her eyes as per Kuripa’s request.

Right now, just Shuichi and Mii-Yu. I kind of had to tell him to convince him to let me go to Central Park.

...Akamatsu...

I know...I’m sorry...The reason why I was so quick to follow Rantaro’s message...it might have been because I needed a distraction...Instead I just showed up out of nowhere and complicated things.

I messed up...

Grief is a hard pill to swallow Kaede. Maybe this sounds ironic coming from me, but we all deal with it in our own way. 

You and I aren’t the only people who have lost. And we still have so much left to lose. Our friends, our family...everything we cherish.

But it’s part of living the lives we do to push forward and forge new paths, not just for us, but for those exact people too. Even if we have to deal with great pain to ensure we do so.

But the killing game you were part of puts things very literally. If you wished to forget the life that you’ve lived, and turn it into some...empty, fleeting reality made from your own twisted conscience...Then that’s all it will become.

How you live your life and how you deal with your grief is up to you, and there’s nothing I would do to change that. But as your mentor...and someone who REALLY cares about you...I at least want you to know that.

Heh...If only I had you around after the fact.

I could say the same to you. Or...I would if at least one of our grief solutions were actually sane...You join a killing game, I become a vigilante...

Hehe...I think we’re both a little crazy...

...

Akamatsu...I know I said you should go to bed, but...would you mind coming with me? 

Um...sure...but why?

Nothing really. There’s just something I think I need to tell you.

[lightlycareless]

Chapter 28 - thoughts.

Hello again everyone!

Thank you for tuning in for another... behind the scene post :> This time, about this chapter over here (which I totally recommend reading to avoid spoilers!)

It was certainly a ride to write that one, and you'll get to see why in the upcoming paragraphs hehe

Warning: not proof-read, just candid stuff xd

Now, without any further a do, here are my notes 💪

Even when I already had the outline/basic idea of what I wanted to portray in this chapter, it still turned out quite hard to write, mainly because I didn’t know how much of self-realization I wanted Naoya to have.

After all, he’s the egotistical bastard we all love (to make fun of) and for him to completely fall into this realization wouldn’t be as smooth or rewarding… but at the same time, I wanted to have some progress on his character, so I guess I just made him delusional lmao.

In the sense that he knows something is wrong, he just doesn’t know what. And his poor, ignorant never-held-accountable mind made quick work of the same formula he’s always used in his life and blamed his brother for it.

I mean sure, if he didn’t see Y/N and Naoaki together before his exam he might’ve been able to focus on it. But we can easily counter that with the actual reason of y/n’s indifference, and that is, his actions.

Yet he wants to feign dementia (como que la virgen le habla para mis hispano hablantes jaja) and act as if he doesn’t know what the fuck is going on. Ok, we’ll let him do that… as he faces the partial consequences of his actions :>

Since there’s not much information regarding how the promotion exams go for higher ranks (or any that I can recall anyways) I took the liberty to… imagine how they would punish sorcerers for when they do grave mistakes in them lol punishments that don’t usually invoke killing someone you know 💀 as well as to show once again, just the entitlement Naoya has and how he still dares to act the victim 🙄

Like he was going to get banned from being a sorcerer lol but because such thing is sooooo outrageous for a heir of a prestigious clan as his, he was just suspended, for a few weeks like, might as well not punish him at all and let him do whatever he wants.

Ok sure, he didn’t kill them, but imagine if he had done so? DURING A MISSION? Nah, he should’ve gotten a worse outcome than that in my humble opinion, but who am I to fight against the intricate system of privilege?

Anyways, from there, it was very, very satisfying writing down what he’s been forced to deal with after his failure. Seeing Naoya get stripped of the things he likes was like aaaaaaahhhghhh retribution!! As well as sad because if we look at the bigger picture, Naoya really doesn’t have anyone on his side :I his family was quick to start talking badly behind his back, and in his face! There’s no shame for these people, worsening with the comment they made regarding the possibility of Y/N’s pregnancy omg ahahaha that was just foul.

But it was good for Naoya to be rattled that way, he for sure took for granted what he had, maybe this way he’ll finally wake up from his delusion :^)

But that wasn’t meant to happen, not soon anyways, as he now started to blame Naoaki—circling back to this point, this song (translation over here) popped up in my head from time to time when writing the scene he was questioning what’s up with Naoaki and Y/N. He really thinks that the pinnacle of all his misfortunes has to be with him ☹ and ngl it was kind of heart breaking to see him asking these things, but well, what can I say? What was Naoya expecting???? Y/N is literally terrified of him that even doing something good for him is enough to have her spiraling!!

This situation, as earth shattering as it was, was not good for either of them. On one hand we have Naoya suffering for his own issues, and on the other one, Y/N is suffering too!

However, the difference stands there with the people who remained behind to support her. Mariya, Haruko, and Hitomi were real ones by staying with her, and as the staff stated, they could’ve easily dropped her (way before even) but decided not to because this is not something new to them, and well, they’re good people!! Of course, they’re not going to leave Y/N alone. Meiko can whine all about it, they be sticking to her side.

Also, I want to comment on the staff: I know (eh, maybe) that they have good intentions but them going on with how Y/N is some kind of hero was like patronizing to me lol I was like: this is not the moment people!! I can only imagine the discourse that was going inside her head while hearing all of these things, that must’ve been infuriating too. I can see Mariya telling them to quiet up, at least until y/n feels better lol, Hitomi scoffing every time they pass by saying all these things, and Haruko being like… conflicted about it: she’s happy her mistress is being recognized, but it just doesn’t feel genuine, you know?

And that part where some of the members were like: yeah this is kind of when like Toji did his thing, but I mean that’s expected from him, he’s a man. Jesus, the misogyny in this people is really making them say dumb stuff just to bring down women. Writing that was so disrespectful to myself ngl hahah

But it was also just to show how… odd the perception of the staff is. Or everything about it really.

From there… NAOAKI. Omg… that scene was, oof. I was really debating whether to write it or not because I’m very aware of what it means… however, I’m no longer willing to keep them apart 😂 after building up their relationship it seems that Naoaki and Y/N are catching feelings for each other, like for real, and while I intended to write that particular scene as Y/N just wanting comfort (I just discovered she’s a hugger lol it seems that she’s given everyone hugs, as well as received from her) this is definitely leading somewhere else 😏 or might lead, who knows what dear Ranta has planned for them hahahahah

Aw, but it was so sweet that Naoaki even said that even if nothing happens between the two, he’ll always be her friend omg. 😭 Where can I get me a man like this? And Naoya still has the audacity to believe he can do something? Just how Mariah Carey said...

He and Ranta wanted to hold on to this idea that maybe what the staff was saying was like, you know, lies, intended to instigate Naoya, but after seeing Naoaki leave Y/N’s room is safe to say that they both know this is far from regular gossip.

And even then, poor Ranta still wanted to protect Naoya! He truly is… well, I’d like to say a good person, someone who Naoya definitely doesn’t deserve, with him willing going as far as trying to involve himself in their relationship in hopes to save it, but there's only so much he can do before he realizes it's doomed. (Ranta wanting to tell Naoaki to at least have the decency to not approach Y/N while Naoya is in the estate is like, wild to me. He knows there’s no stopping him, so maybe he can slow him down?)

Well, this chapter was intended to be some kind of recap of the things that happened soon after chapter 25 and as a set up for the ones to come. Show that this conflict was nothing if not detrimental to both parties involved, with Naoya seemingly losing everything he’s had, the respect of his family, his career, and his marriage, and with Y/N feeling desolate but still having the support of her ladies, and possibly someone closer than that.

Now that I write it like that, it’s as if they switched positions (but if you squint your eyes though, cause being honest Y/N is still getting the short end of the stick) and this time, Naoya is going to be the one put in the work because if I'm being completely honest, Y/N does not care for him at all.

Aghhh well I'm excited to see where the characters take me from here 🤭 will Naoya redeem himself? Or will Y/N completely fall for Naoaki? GUESS WE'LL HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE :>

Thank you so much for your support! Reading your feedback about this chapter helped me overcome the insecurities I had about posting it hahah god, Naoya is such a difficult character sometimes, but he's still hella entertaining 😂

Anyways, if there's something more specific that you want to know about this chapter that wasn't covered here (since I usually just gloss over the things I considered somewhat influential in the process of writing this chapter) don't hesitate to let me know! I'll do my best to my best to answer them without spoiling anything :>

Once again, thank you so much for reading this chapter, hope you all have a wonderful week, take care, and hope to see you soon!!

[jerzwriter]

Fanfic ask: 14 and 15 😊

Hey Ren, thanks for the asks!

14: a fic you didn’t expect to write

I answered that here, but there is one other thing. I didn't expect to create Kaycee entering 2023. But at some point, the same MC in two worlds just wasn't working for me anymore. That was a surprise.

15. something you learned this year?

Dude......

A lot. A WHOLE lot.

Fandomwise - this has been quite a year. It started with "Sheep Gate" in January, and it just kept going. A WHOLE lot of horseshit. Sometimes, I'm shocked that I'm still here because there were many times I was really thinking of hanging it up. But I'm glad I didn't. And while I'm not glad for all the shit that's happened, I'm glad for what it's taught me.

I now operate with zero fucks. Don't like my pairing? Don't read it. Don't like the way my fic ended. Well, that's the ending. Think I should write more for x and less for y. (We all know who x and y are lol). Thanks for the feedback. I can't believe how much time I used to waste truly worrying about what people thought. Caring about stupid anons telling me what I should and shouldn't write... in my spare time... for my enjoyment... for FREE. WTF was wrong with me? I was legit feeling GUILTY for writing Tobias/Casey. I'd tell myself to "pace" it. Make sure you write two other fics first. What was wrong with me, Ren? lol Now, I am here to share my love of some stories and characters, but I'm writing for me and sharing it with everyone. I'm actually loving writing WTD which I know will never have as much interest as OH, but IDC. I LOVE doing it, and if 2 people like it and we geek out over it, that's AOK with me. I'm going to enjoy what I write, enjoy what others share, and have fun. Isn't that why we're here?

Not everyone who claims to be a friend is. It's true in real life, and sadly, it's true here. Somewhere along the way, I decided that the best approach is: be kind to all but be careful. I strongly suggest people take that approach in real life and here. Everyone is battling something, so we should always be kind. But we are OBLIGATED to care for ourselves first. Love yourself, have a good support system, and enjoy this ride around the sun.

Don't let assholes get you down - don't let anyone stop you from what you want to do. Anons who send hate? Pathetic human beings. Those who need to create full-on blogs when they can't get to someone (say, anon-turned-off)? Just... get help. Anyone so vile and broken that they need to do these things to others is no one worth waiting your time and energy on. After sheep-gate, I was fucked up in the head for over a month. Knowing someone could hate you that much for essentially nothing... it hurt. When I got that "We are Legion" psycho-babble anon a couple months later... it messed with me (though a little less... I was learning)... It made me paranoid, and it changed who I was for a short time, and it sucked. That's done. My advice to everyone is don't let the assholes get you down, and most importantly, don't let them change who YOU are. Not everyone is going to like you - that's OK. You're not going to like everyone - That's OK. BUT LEAVE THEM BE. I'm here handing out life lessons. lol

[discordofsound]

Done. If you are one of the people who followed me to keep up to date with my mods, I'm sorry to let you know that I'll no longer be making updates on Tumblr. I am a mod author who's worked on all sorts of mods, primarily helping others fix their own mods, but I have a few that I can call my own, just not publically released. Yet. These past several weeks have been tough for me. If you're unaware, there's a nationwide shortage of Adderal in the United States, so it's one of the necessary medications I need to function on a semi-normal level. I take a LOT of medications due to being a victim of CSA/CA/SA/R, and other diagnosed illnesses I've been fighting. And, if you're genetically female and have inattentive ADHD that went undiagnosed because it used to be a boy's only syndrome, which we now know is not the case, then you can relate when your brain and eyes aren't on the same playing field. Sometimes missing sentences, or chapters in books, always forgetting names, dates, and times even if you were told it one minute ago, having low/no motivation for work and fun, easily getting overwhelmed, and the constant fear of rejection and being far too hard on yourself. None of that is fun, and I will never understand the romanticization of ADHD by others. I have a few things that really bring me joy, modding being one. Another is the study of entomology. Bugs. It really brightens up my day seeing bug posts, especially people handling safe insects with care and respect. Well, one such post came across my feed the other day and I was just all excited because I, being in the US, found two of those insects quite randomly. It was a real treat and I did a lot of reading on them and kept them for a short time before returning them to the wild. Except... this was an insect that looked nearly identical to the one I had found. Mind you, it was late at night, I am losing my eyesight (which scares me), and my unmedicated brain did not see any tags at the time. Well, it's very, VERY common to misidentify insects when they tend to mimic each other, and I'm always ok with correcting any information with accurate updates. Except... the comment and tags from the poster before me, Endivinity, were less than... kind... in their response to my post. In fact, the tone came across as demeaning, which is a bit of a gut punch since I've been a fan of their Deathclaw artwork for a few years now. Sadly, that's no longer the case. I try to be courteous to others in the way that I interact with them, and we all make silly mistakes, but their admonishment for me not "reading their tags" really can't be taken as any other context but "you didn't read MY tags, are you stupid?" Well, no, I have a developmental disability that impacts my daily life, and without meds, it's 5x worse. Sorry for not seeing your tags? I guess I was under the false pretense that Tumblr was more understanding and inclusive to people with disabilities, and the way we spoke to each other reflected the fact that many of us here have been abused/discriminated against outside of the online world. Who wants to perpetuate that? Easy mistake since people still find the mask of anonymity emboldening. But, it's not really what I'm interested in seeing or engaging with. I'm almost 40 and still trying to heal from trauma, so I'm going to take this interaction as a lesson. I'm still going to work on my mods, but I probably won't post updates here any longer. I'll figure out where eventually lol. Thanks to everyone who was following me to keep abreast of my projects, you guys rock.