#ok enemies to loves but maybe let them be enemies for five minutes

[shower-phantom-ideas]

*frustraitingly filtering out the “light angst” tag on AO3*

mumbling “no i want the full version“

[justkending]

Mr. & Mrs. Hunt (Chapter 5/7)

Mini-Series Summary: Two of the most stubborn people in the group partnered together for an undercover mission are also the two people with the most hatred for each other, so what could go wrong? Or is it, what COULDN’T go wrong?…

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger Reader (Enemies to Lovers) (Fake Marriage Trope)

A/N: I think we are staying on track for this to wrap up within two more chapters, but again, we are both in the dark if that's the case😂 Thank you guys for the love! If you are wanting to be tagged, please send me an ask. It's a lot easier for me to keep track of who's been added and who hasn't :)

_________

Y/N’s POV:

Okay, so maybe I blew up a little more than necessary, but I tried to chill out before he started chasing me, ordering that I didn’t walk away and talk to him. Let a girl try to get a hold of her emotions for a second big guy.

I’ve been anxious all day, waiting to talk to him about some deep seeded trauma, and then he comes and screws up all of it with a simple exception to an invitation. I know he didn’t mean harm by it, but he’s a trained professional. That was not a trained professional response. Plus, stepping out of my normal routine of being a bitch to him to keep him at a distance wasn’t just a switch I could flip.

Again, I could have handled that better, but now my brain is in mission mode, trying to reprogram what this night has set up for us. Considering the invitation was for tonight, it gave me little to no time to prepare.

“What time did she say dinner was?” I shouted from my bedroom, where I was going through our small, hidden arsenal of gadgets Tony had made for us.

“Six,” Bucky replied from his room down the hall.

Great, that was forty-five minutes from now… “Ok, I can do this.” Deciding it was best to keep some bugs on hand in case we could plant them in the house, and we would be planting them, I needed to consider sizes and placements.

“Should we bring over some wine or something?” Bucky’s voice was now in the doorway to my room, but I kept my back to him as I sifted through our tools.

“I made a pie earlier today. We can take that,” I answered absentmindedly.

“Why’d you make a pie?”

“Felt like it,” I shrugged and walked out of the closet with three small wires/ bugs in hand. When I looked up, I saw he had changed into a nicer button-up and was tightening a tie around his collar he hadn't been wearing earlier. “Why are you wearing a tie?” I examined him.

“Same reason you’re wearing a nicer dress. I want to make a good impression,” he shrugged, straightening pieces of his outfit.

“I’m wearing this because we were going to our ‘anniversary dinner,’” I made sure to put the lie in hand quotes. “I had a story that went with it, but this can pass as casual, too,” I motioned to my dress and moved toward him, placing the wires on the bed. “This looks like you’re about to give a sales pitch.”

Without thinking, I pop his collar up and loosen the tie to get rid of it. The whole time I’m focusing on untying it, I ramble about what the plan is for the night.

“I’m going to give you a wire to put wherever you see fit, and I’ll do the other two. I’ll excuse myself to use the bathroom and sneak it where it’s needed. I feel it’s important we look for cameras already in the house in case it’s a setup. We don’t need them having hard proof that we bugged their place. We want to come off as simple yet good assets if we want them to bring us on board for their work,” I struggle with a certain spot on the tie he somehow fixed in an efficient way I’d never seen. “Jesus, were you a sailor in another life? Might as well have knotted it.”

He doesn’t respond, but I get it off in the next two seconds and look at him to see he had been studying me intently as I invaded his space. I see my slip-up, push the tie into his chest, and take a step back.

“Sorry.”

“No problem,” he answers rather calmly, and I look at his eyes, seeing patience there. Always that damn patience. How did he still have it with me even with how I’ve treated him? “Listen-”

“About last night,” I say at the same time, and he seems shocked but gives a single nod to tell me to continue. “I want to say I’m sorry for being all over the place recently. From last night to thirty minutes ago.”

He seems frozen by my apology, and I became anxious enough that I start to word vomit.

“I took some time to think after last night and spent the day stressing, thinking how I was going to talk to you about it because I do want to. I want to get what I can out on the table if you’d be ok with that,” I look up through my lashes, and I see the most subtle turn of his lip as he watches me attentively.

“Are you hinting that there’s a chance I’ll get to see the side of you others are lucky enough to see?” he retorts, grin growing and taking a step closer to me.

His use of the word ‘lucky’ shortcircuits my brain, and all I can do is nod once, slowly, as my answer. He takes another step, and I match it with one back. I feel more vulnrable than I was expecting to.

“You can understand now why having our plans for the night changed made me slightly temperamental.”

“I think slightly may be an understatement.”

“I think you still should choose your words carefully,” I say, tightening my smile. However, it doesn’t shut him down like normal. Instead, he laughs under his breath, and the doorbell rings.

Both of our heads shoot toward the noise, and solemnity takes over the room.

“You don’t think that’s,” Bucky pauses as he turns back to me.

“How often am I wrong?” I take a deep breath in and smooth my dress out as I walk over, pausing beside him. “Hide the wires. I already did a sweep of the house while you were getting ready to make sure we didn’t have anything out of place. I’ll tell them you’re getting ready.”

I don’t need to open the door to know who it is, but when I do, the urge to yell, “I told you so!” in Bucky’s face is strong.

“Bethanne!” I smile kindly and immediately notice the dish in her hand. Reggie is behind her, holding two others, looking like he just got off work and had been dragged over here. “Did Beau tell me wrong? Are we not eating at y’all’s house tonight?”

She scrunches her face in a practiced motion and lifts the ceramic bowl up as she explains.

“I hate to ask this of you, but our oven is still the old rickety one. The new one had some faulty design, and we had to ship it back. Needless to say, it decided to give out on us today of all days,” she raised her shoulders. “I know we sprung the dinner on you suddenly, but would you two be willing to host if we provide the food?”

Not on the money of what I guessed, but pretty fucking close to the money if you ask me.

“Who is it, Doll?” Bucky’s voice carries from the hallway he’s now emerging from. The first three buttons on his dress shirt are undone, and he’s messing with the cuffs on the sleeves. “Hey, Bauers,” he smiles yet still holds shock in his features by the neighbor's appearance. “Did we get the time wrong?” he asks, looking at his watch before coming to my side, where I've now moved and am letting themselves in.

“No, no, no,” Bethanne shakes her head and hands off one of the pots to me as she takes one from Reggie, who looks more bothered to be here than happy. Long day human trafficking, asshole? “We had some appliance issues thanks to some of the renovations we were doing. I was just asking your wife if we can use your house as tonight's setting and possibly use your oven while here.”

Without hesitance, Bucky takes the dish from my hands and the dish Bethanne had swapped for and nods for Reggie to follow him.

“No problem at all. Let me help you ladies with that. Char," A nickname he had never used for my character before, but it seemed to work fluently. "Would you like to get some wine for the two of you while I get this organized in the kitchen?” he asks me, placing a kiss on the side of my head while his hands are full as he walks towards the other room.

I don’t know how he’s learned to play his role so well, but it’s convincing, even to me.

“Uh, yeah,” I almost stutter in my response as I motion for Bethanne to follow me to the wine cooler out in the garage. “Red or white with tonight's dish?”

"Do you have any more husbands like that in the back I can steal? What a gentleman," she coos, shoulder-bumping me.

___________

Half an hour of baking the food and getting it plated, and our conversation continued with questions mostly strictly about us, which would have been fine if not for the reason behind such invasive intentions.

They started off simple. How’d you guys meet? Who made the first move? What did we love about the town so far? What kind of hobbies and adventures did we take on before moving here? All questions we had prepared for, and if not, could easily improvise.

So far. No slip-ups. If anything, we sold the scheme far better than I’d imagined we would even when they became more personal. And our discussion on being the ‘prude couple’ last night seemed to affect Bucky’s actions a lot more than I was expecting.

An obvious hand on my thigh under the table and an arm thrown over my seat in a slightly possessive manner seemed to catch the eye of Reggie, who mimicked some of the moves as if it were a competition.

In addition, Bucky kept making small compliments about how I looked and how smart I was when they asked about my job. Dropping little comments about things I did (not my character) that he loved and appreciated.

“She’s always doing things like that. I almost never have to worry about making coffee in the morning because she has it all set up just to hit a button and go.”

“You should ask Charlotte about that! She’s the reason our house looks like a home. I’m sure she could give some advice on the kitchen backsplash.”

“She may not know how to boil an egg correctly, but her baking skills are unmatched. I've put on a few pounds now that we have a nice kitchen to spend time in."

I did my best not to act shocked every time he dropped a compliment, but the fact he could have made shit up for my character and used those details as conversation pieces, yet he went the honest way (although more convincing, of course), shocked me.

“Speaking of baking skills,” Reggie nodded his head back to the kitchen counter behind us and smiled at me. “I spied a pie on the counter. Any chance we can have that to finish off this dinner?”

I was still staring at Bucky from his last form of appreciation when I blinked out of my distraction and returned to our neighbor.

“Oh, of course! I was just about to offer,” I smiled, standing up, and Bucky quickly stood next to me, pulling my chair out. “Thank you.” I smiled at him and placed a hand on his arm as I moved around to the counter.

“How sweet. Oh, Charlotte, would you mind telling me where the bathroom is?” Bethanne asked, standing and giving her husband a look for not showing the same chivalry as Bucky.

I watched her, knowing that I would have used the same excuse to do what we planned to at their house. But I was two steps ahead of her.

“Of course! Beau, do me a favor and get some plates out for dessert. I’m going to show Beth-”

“Oh, I’m sure I can find it,” she waved off, coming around the table and moving to the hall promptly.

Yeah… Not without a chauffeur, honey.

“No problem,” I waved off, moving with her casually. “I need to grab some floss from my bathroom before dessert. I’ll show you to it.”

I can see the most subtle glaze of annoyance at my insistence, but she smiles and walks a step ahead of me.

I show her to the bathroom and make it seem I’m going into the master down the hall while she’s in there. And I do, but I keep an eye to make sure she isn’t snooping in any other room besides the one. We’ll have to survey it after they leave, but better that and the dining room than the whole house.

Once we’re back with the boys, no wandering to be done, Bucky helps me plate a slice of chocolate pie for each of us, and I offer to move the conversation to the porch. Any kind of redirection from the comfort of the inside of our home is welcome.

“I love how you’ve decorated your porch. It’s so cozy,” Bethanne notices, pointing out the colorful decorative pillows, hanging swing the size of a daybed, and loads of plants and decor that make the space more intimate. She and Reggie are sat on the two rocking chairs facing the front yard, and Bucky and I are sat close together on the swing, where he’s controlling the tempo we sway in.

“I always wanted a spot outside to escape. We didn’t really have that at our last home, and it was important for me to have this time around,” I replied.

My answer is actually very true. I loved being outside, especially when it was something as simple as sitting in the backyard or swinging on a porch. I had one requirement about this mission, one I’m not even sure Bucky knew about. But I asked Tony to supply a nice budget for the porch.

Call it cheesy, but growing up in such an unnatural and dehumanizing way, you crave a small part of that normalcy you see on the movie screens. For some reason, a porch I could escape on but still be within the comfort of my own home was a dream. And because it was, I thought I’d make this situation a little more bearable by granting that small wish I always had.

“Well, I may have to start budgeting for a new kind of renovation,” she patted Reggie’s back, and he gave her a tight-lip smile. "What do you say, Reg? Do you think we can get a swing like that one?” She smiled over at us just as Bucky pulled me into his side, his arm going around my waist and his hand resting on my hip bone.

“I have a feeling we might as well have built a home from scratch by the time you’re happy with the renovations we’ve taken on,” Reggie answered with a nod before taking a swig from his beer. “Get that recipe for the pie from Charlotte, and I’ll consider buying you a new porch,” he winked my way and turned back to the front of our lawn.

I instantly found Bucky’s hand tightening, and his thumb started rubbing in an up-and-down pattern along my hip. When I turned to him slightly, his gaze stayed on Reggie.

Before finishing cleaning up for the night, we said goodbye to our guests, and just when we thought we hadn’t made any headway in our conversation about work (mind you, we had dropped hints and notices about it all night, but neither of the two seemed to take the bait), Reggie stopped on the last step to our porch and turned to Bucky.

“You mentioned working in transportation, and by the sounds of your new job up here, if you’re interested in a more innovative place, I may have some ins for you,” he shook Bucky’s hand. “I have some coworkers around the states that could use some employees like you on their route.”

“I may take you up on that offer. It all depends on how this week rolls out,” Bucky answered perfectly. The Bauers said their goodbyes, and we watched them walk home before turning to each other.

In a silent celebration, we grinned at the invitation and then sent wordless glances to tread carefully when we got in before scoping the place for bugs…

_______________

Bucky’s POV:

I’m not surprised that the blonde sole cycle instructor of a neighbor was able to get a wire in our bathroom, but neither Y/N nor I were in the mood to remove it right away and give away our knowledge of it, so we each grabbed another drink for the night and debriefed subtly on the porch where the only bugs we had to mind were the crickets chirping their music for the night.

Bethanne was right. Our porch was nicely done, and I hadn’t even noticed Y/N had hung lights out here until she plugged them in.

“I feel like this spot is more put together than the rest of the house.” I noticed the details when we were out here earlier. Now, we both have taken up spots in the rocking chairs our neighbors had vacated.

“I may have focused more of my attention on this spot than the others,” she smiled as she brought a tumbler glass up to her lips. She had drank wine while Bethanne was here, but as soon as they were gone, the whiskey I had made a glass for myself was stolen out of my hand before I could take a sip. Now, we had each of our own.

“Was what you said about the porch a real thing? I mean, we have balconies at the compound,” I looked at her as I sat my drink on the small table between us.

“Balconies and porches aren’t the same. At least in my head, they aren’t,” she nodded, taking a deep sigh and resting her glass in her lap. “Did you mean what you said when you were complimenting me all night?” She lulled her head to the side to look at me.

I had been making compliments. It felt easier to use the ones I had picked up on than the ones I made up. Yet again, I think anyone should get the recognition they deserve when they excel in something. Y/N just tended to excel in more than I think she was aware of. And I was learning she didn’t seem to be used to people taking note of those things.

“Why lie?” I shrugged, starting to rock in a steady pattern.

“Because that’s this whole gig. A lie,” she answered, taking another pull of the hard liquor.

I considered her perspective and shook my head, looking out to the lights on the other side of the street. “I guess it gets tiring at points. Don’t really feel like doing it if the truth can be just as usable.”

She didn’t answer for quite a few seconds, and when I turned back to her, she was staring at me like she was waiting for another shoe to drop.

“How are you so patient? Seriously, is it a drug Tony made you before you had to deal with me on this mission? I don’t get it,” she laughs, but I can hear the genuine confusion in it as she sits forward and turns her body to me.

Honesty. I’m in a mood to be 100% honest.

“Want me to be real with you?” I asked, turning my own body.

“It’d be preferred,” she nods and rests both her arms on the armrest.

“I don’t know anything about your past, but I know most people have a reason for acting the way they do. It took years and a ton of patience before I felt like I was even close to who I used to be. I still struggle to come to terms with the fact I’ll never be who I was before the train incident,” I sigh and rest my head back against the chair as I look at her. “I guess I have understanding more than patience. I understand that you have a history of your own that I don’t know, and I can’t blame you for a lot of the things you do.”

“But you should. I’m an asshole to you,” she says, and the admission is kinda nice to hear, even if it is sad.

“Yeah, and I was hoping you’d be willing to share why that is,” I reply calmly.

She tenses some and sits back in her chair, pulling her legs under her to sit crisscrossed, the chair rocking with her movement and her dress overflowing past her knees.

“I guess now is as good a time as ever…” She looked at me sidelong before finding comfort in the view in front of her instead. “I didn’t really have a chance to develop a personality of my own because of my time in this lifestyle,” she motions around her, “started as soon as I could walk. So I had no identity to fall back on since I had to find it after I escaped.”

I had questions, but I found it best just to listen. Clearly, what she was talking about wasn’t something she brought up lightly, and being an ear to listen was what she needed right now.

“I was left behind by whichever no-good parent gave me up, and Adonis Hummel took me as his own and decided he’d try to recreate the famous assassin, The Winter Solider, from birth practically.”

The name drop came quickly and struck home. I didn’t know her whole story, but I had enough imagination and experience to believe where she was going.

“Wait, Hummel?” I started because the name sounded familiar, but…

“He was a low-level scientist who worked for Hydra when they were still using you under Pierce. He thought he had the brains and resources to create his own version of you. A version that would be more undetectable as a woman and a version he could tweak however he wanted,” she rolled her shoulders. “Lucky for him, I didn’t have to be brainwashed since I knew nothing besides the life of abuse, experimentation, and a shit ton of conditioning... " 

"To clarify, I say that for context, not sympathy,” she straightened, and I could see her shifting back to her unbothered disposition, but the truth was shining through the cracks. She may not have wanted sympathy, but something about the vulnerability seemed to lighten the load on her shoulders.

“As for why I may have built a wall around you, an unhealthy and senile wall, I felt as though…” She gulped as if the next part was harder for her to say than the abuse of her past. “I felt as though you had been my competition my whole life, and a part of me, a young and in-need-of-therapy part of me, thought it was best to keep you as far away as possible and hold onto that anger instead of work through it. It felt easier than facing the fear that I didn’t actually equate to you in any way. So that’s another reason why I felt everything with you was to prove a point.” She lets out a short breath after using all the air in her lungs in one swift swoop.

I-

It’s a lot to take in…

She doesn’t move her head back towards me after her confession, and I can’t seem to break my stare from her.

“This is where you say something like, ‘Well, it’s your lucky day. I’m actually an asshole either way, so we can go on hating each other for completely understandable reasons!’ or I don’t know? Anything but silence would be preferred, though…”

Her hand is gripping the arm rest unconsciously like an anchor keeping her on earth.

On instinct, I reach across and pull her hand into mine, keeping my stare heavy, enticing her to look at me.

She closes her eyes at first and takes another short breath before turning.

“I’m sorry if I ever made you feel unworthy of being on the team.” I feel like I personally am the reason for her suffering, even if I had no correlation with her before I joined the team. "You are more than an asset to the team and are your own kind of weapon. It's incomparable."

“Ugh,” she sniffles and rubs an eye with the heel of her free hand as if to disguise a possible tear as allergies. “This would be so much easier if you were a piece of shit misogynistic asshole, but you're part of the few good ones out there. Steve, Sam, and Clint included, not Tony,” she noted.

I smiled, thinking about how I’d make a team like that even if she had me believe otherwise for so long.

“What I’m trying to get at, B, is you’re not the one I should be blaming for my past. You’re just as much a victim as I am, but I took the easy way out of making it more manageable for me, and I only made it harder for us both in the end. And for that,” she turned and stared into my eyes fully, the hand she held squeezing my own. “I’m sorry. You don’t deserve an ounce of the kind of cruelness I tried to bury you in. You are the opposite of what they tried to make you, and you’re genuine in proving that to anyone who meets you. I've been envious of the strength you have, and I can say confidently that I deeply regret ever blaming you for that.”

I once again have to process yet another collection of words I’d never thought I hear. From her. Ever. A part of me believed this was a dream, but the part that Y/N had a grip on was practically pinching me into reality.

Without hesitating, I stood up, pulled her arm up with me, and yanked her into my body in a crushing hug.

She froze at first… The motion was quick and surprising, but slowly, she unhooked our hands, brought both of hers tightly around my waist, and laid into me. I rested my head on top of hers and pulled her shoulders in with my arms, wrapping both of my own tightly around her.

I wasn’t going to let go until she did, and by the looks of it… She wasn’t letting go anytime soon.

Marvel Tags:

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My Lovelies Forever:

@natura1phenomenon​ @lauravicente​ @kakakatey​ @traceyaudette​ @notyourtypicalrose​ @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce​ @sandlee44​ @thorne93​ @thefaithfulwriter1​ @essie1876​ @greyeyedsmile14​ @capsiclehan​  @xostephanie​ @averyrogers83​ @awesomenursingstudent​ @gh0stgurl​ @cs-please​ @jjlevin​ @rainbowkisses31​ @deannotmoose​ @their-bibliophile​ @kitkatd7​ @willowbleedsonpaper​ @mariaenchanted​ @snffbeebee​ @couldabeenamermaid​ @rebekahdawkins​​ @alyispunk​​ @billyseye @hallecarey1​​

Bucky Barnes Tags:

@chloe-skywalker​ @charmedbysarge​ @jbarness​ @bellamy-barnes​ @katiaw2​ @aikeia​ @stopjustlovethemcu​ @enchantedbarnes

Mr. & Mrs. Hunt Series:

@jackiehollanderr @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @theroyalmanatee @wintrsoldrluvr @alexakeyloveloki @learisa @bxckybxrnes24 @lillianacristina @selella @heletsmelovehim @lovelybaka @heletsmelovehim @bubblegumbeautyqueen @mostlymarvelgirl @that-d-bitch @rabbitrabbit12321

[bidisasterevankinard]

tease tidbit tuesday! 🎸🎙️

Tagged by @heartbeatdiaz thank you love 💙💙💙

rule: share whatever scene or snippet from your fic that has you excited, ig???

I shared part of it for sss but I needed to share part with Bobby cause his my fav here and I actually excited about this scene

more enemies to lovers au

“Let's get started. Buck, you're the first, play that tune that you showed me a few months ago,” Bobby points Buck to the instruments.  Buck goes to the guitar to play a melody that he started six months ago, but the text never came to him and he never finished it. Maybe someday.  He almost reaches the chorus, when the damn brown-eyed begins to sing and his as it was called "a wonderful angelic drawling voice that makes you think sinful things"(Buck literally read it in twitter once) fills the room. And it took you five whole minutes To pack us up and leave me with it Holdin' all this love out here in the hall I think I've seen this film before And I didn't like the ending You're not my homeland anymore So what am I defending now? You were my town Now I'm in exile, seein' you out I think I've seen this film before They end the chorus and both are looking at each other shocked. Buck can admit lyrics are good and go with music fantastically. Well, he can admit it for himself, never to anyone else. “I wrote it after Shannon sent the divorce papers,” the only explanation Eddie gives to Bobby, and the old man nods.  Buck feels the urge to be a jerk and doesn’t stop himself. “Couldn't satisfy your wifey?” Eddie turns to him so quickly that Buck is sure his neck will hurt for weeks. Fires of anger and hatred are burning in brown eyes and Buck wants to pour more gasoline. But he doesn’t have a chance to add more. “Well, at least I got into the label not through the bed of one of the producers,” Eddie says with the smirk that Buck hates from the first day he found out about Eddie Diaz, it always makes him want to start a fight.  “I slept with Abby after joining the label. And I didn't know she was a producer,”  “Come on, you're with your story and you haven't whored your way here? How many pussies have you licked and dicks sucked to get there?”  Eddie continues and Buck abruptly gets up and in a few steps overcomes the space between them, standing so close to the brunette jerk, using all his height and size, trying to seem bigger and intimidating. Bobbie’s quiet but rather intimidating voice scares both. “Both shut up and in the corners,” he points to two different chairs in different corners of the studio.  “The lyrics and music are perfect together, so whether you like it or not, we are finishing it. And you better start being a team. Otherwise, both of you will fly out of the label with a scandal that no one will ever want to work with you. Now you both have to stick to each other as if you haven't drank water for days, and the second one is a fountain of pure delicious water. Is that clear?” “Clear,” they both say looking at Bobby like kicked puppies, but then send each other looks that can set someone on fire. “Buck, do you have more for music?”  Bobby looks at him and Buck just shakes his head in denial and slight shame. He had never had to sit for so long with a draft of one song. And moreover, only with a melody. There are no words at all to put his heart in them as much as music does it. “Eddie, more lyrics?”  The old man changes his attention to brown-eyed but Buck prefers to look at the guitar or he might say something again, and maybe Bobby is a good man, and with the patience of the saint, but he has his limits too, and Buck pushed them enough in the past that almost lost his place in the label. “Only three more lines in the start,” the voice of a jerk playing an angel says and Buck can’t stop himself from rolling his eyes. Well, looks like they are going to work long together. “Ok, Eddie, give your lyrics to Buck to read. Buck, give Eddie notes to look and Eddie, try to play it. Maybe while you look at the project of the other one it will inspire something. Learn from each other a little. I will go and work in my office, only try to start another fight. I’m serious about ending your careers,” on that Bobby leaves them alone in the studio.

Tagging if they want to share : @honestlydarkprincess @911onabc @alyxmastershipper @transbuck @cowboy-buddie @heartshapedvows @bekkachaos @panbuckley @rogerzsteven @the-likesofus @shortsighted-owl @buddierights @housewifebuck @thewolvesof1998 @wildlife4life @wikiangela @hippolotamus @transboybuckley @devirnis @spotsandsocks @monsterrae1 @spaceprincessem @userdisaster @caroandcats @mandzuking17 @useramor @paranoidbean @sibylsleaves @jobairdxx @translasso @bigfootsmom and anyone who wants to share

[angel-eyes05]

bite the hand (chapter 6)

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pairing: spider-woman!oc x miguel o’hara 

summary: lorena's whole world was taken away from her in the blink of an eye, after she accidentally broke a canon event. lucky for her though, she was able to find a portal watch in her dimension and used it to get out before she glitched out of existence. unfortunately though, running from dimension to dimension, she's been named as an anomaly by the spider society. now, she's constantly on the run from them, their leader in particular. when she eventually gets caught though, she's recruited onto a mission to catch another anomaly who might be from her past. to her dismay though, her partner on this mission is her very captor. will she be able to stop arguing with him for long enough to get the job done?

info: enemies to lovers, maybe a slow burn depending on chapter count, oc is 24 and miguel is 27, both oc and miguel are super sad lmao, they're also both super violent so, they also hate each other what a slay, in regards to my oc you can read her character sheet right here

warnings: there might be spoilers for atsv in this so watch the movie before reading this, cursing, implication of suicidal thoughts, blood mention, ANGST SO MUCH ANGST

word count: 2.4k

notes: thank you olivia rodrigo for dropping vampire in the middle of me writing this because that was such good backing music for the argument🤭  (i love angst if you couldnt tell)

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As the soft, delicate rain turned into a heavier pour, Lorena started to wish she went inside the motel lobby with Miguel, instead of waiting outside.

Miguel had gone in about five minutes ago and still hadn’t come out. Now having moved underneath the awning, she was enjoying watching the rain, and different civilians running through it on the street. Her momentary peace was interrupted when Miguel came slamming through the door, wiping his hands across his face and groaning. “I didn’t know booking a hotel room could be so stressful,” Lorena joked. “You’re gonna hate me,” he said, sounding genuinely sorry. Lorena sighed. 

She had seen this trope play out in movies all the time. “You got the keys?” she asked, avoiding his statement. He held up the keys in one hand and jingled them sarcastically. “Ok, lets just get going before we get even more drenched,” she said, guiding her hand to the stairs so Miguel can lead the way up to the room. 

Lorena headed up the stairs slowly, still in a good amount of pain from her earlier wounds. Once she and Miguel made it to the door, and he unlocked it, she was met with the very thing she was dreading this whole time.

One king sized bed, smack in the middle of the room. Not even a couch for one of them to lay on. 

Lorena sighed before walking in. “I’ll take the bathtub,” she said exhaustedly before walking in. “You sure you don’t want me to take it?” he asked kindly. “You really think you’ll be able to fit in that?” she asked rhetorically, looking back at him and pointing up and down at his massive body. He shrugged it off. “Ok, but I need to shower first, so at least take the bed for now,” he insisted. 

The room was a decent size. A king sized bed in the middle, with a desk by the far away window. A dresser was perched in front of the bed with a medium sized TV straight above it. The bathroom on the other hand, was much more of a mess, conveniently. The tub was an ugly teal color with cracked linoleum tile floors. An orange-brown rust shrouded all the metal material, and the yellow overhead light was headache inducing. Perfect environment for sleeping. 

While Miguel was in the shower, Lorena sat on top of the tacky looking quilt while she flipped through free movies on the cable. It wasn’t like she was actually going to pay attention to any of them, but having one on in the background would at least make time seem like it was moving a little bit faster. She eventually just landed on Coco, a cute little movie to just have on, and left it playing in the background as she let her thoughts wander off. 

It just clicked to her now that this was the first time that day she had a moment to rest. Whether it was running around New York City, almost falling to her death, or patching herself up, her adrenaline had been at an all time high for the whole day. As a result, it felt weird to just be sitting and doing nothing, even if it was relaxing. Especially while she knew he was out there. 

Her Spider-Sense was going crazy, even though she wasn’t in any immediate danger. It was just the fact that she was going to have to see him again that wanted to make her pull her hair out. It had been so long, she was even beginning to forget what he sounded like. She promised herself she never would. Yet here she was. Searching deep through her memories to try and remember his diction. 

The way he would hang on his vowels a little, and extend the last syllable of the word, like he wanted to keep it in his mouth a little longer. He always had a relaxed tone to his voice, combating her quick, harsh one. He matched her so well, she could never imagine herself with anyone else. Or at least she used to think that. That’s why Miguel scared her so much.

Almost as if on cue, the door to the bathroom opened, steam clouding its way into the main room, and Miguel standing in the doorframe with a towel tightly wrapped around his small waist. Lorena had to keep herself from admiring his chiseled body. Although, when she was able to move her eyes away from his six-pack, she only felt more butterflies in her stomach from the sight of his wet, sloppy hair. It was so different from his put together, almost uptight appearance.

In a desperate attempt to get away from her own lustful thoughts, she blurted out, “Lo juro por dios, if you used up all the hot water O’Hara.” “Don’t worry, don’t worry, there should be enough left for at least a quick rinse,” he defended, taking another smaller towel from the closet in the small hallway and ruffling it across his hair. 

She got up quickly and made her way to the bathroom, before she heard Miguel say, “Do we really have to watch this movie.” She paused. “What’s wrong with Coco?” she said jokingly, and almost like she was offended. “I just don’t wanna watch it,” he responded flatly. “I didn’t know you were too grumpy to enjoy a kids movie.” “Can you just cut it out.” Lorena was getting energized off of the banter though, deciding to continue it by running to snatch the remote just before he could. “Lorena, give me the remote.”

Took a moment. So did he, realizing what he just did. She pointed her finger up at him in a mocking manner. “Ha! You did it! You said my name!” “I don’t have the energy for this, anomaly.” “Nuh uh, no take backs” she teased like a child, jumping around the room while he tried to grab the remote while still holding up his towel. 

“Would you just give it to me?” he almost shouted, trying to block out the sounds of the TV while the lullaby rendition of “Remember Me” started playing in the back. “Oh come on, why can’t you just have a bit of fun for a little, Mr. Grumpy-Pants,” Lorena continued. “Just give me the fucking remote already!” Miguel was now full on shouting at her. “Just tell me what’s wrong with the fucking movie then!” she shouted back, getting a little more annoyed at his actions. “Because this was my daughter’s favorite movie!”

Lorena froze, embarrassment showing bright on her cheeks. Miguel sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose while the song finished. Lorena quickly shut off the TV as silence filled the room. “I…I didn’t know,” she tried to apologize. “It’s fine, just forget it,” he said, taking the remote and placing it on the desk next to him. “Can I ask what happened,” Lorena said meekly. All the attitude and cockiness she previously flaunted was broken down now. Miguel sighed, took a seat on the bed, and patted next to him. Lorena took her place on top of the bed as well. 

“It was a while ago. That I had her. Gabriella.” Lorena tried not to look at him, as if it would alleviate any embarrassment he might’ve been feeling. “It was a different universe. Other than my own. I wasn’t supposed to be there…but I had to. I was…” he took a deep breath. “I was so tired of being alone.” Lorena knew how that felt.

Shortly after Eddie’s death, she had gone down a dark path herself. If she didn’t have her aunt there with her, she might not have been sitting there on that bed right now. 

“It was so wonderful. She was wonderful. She was such a bright girl. Had a little spark to her. You would’ve liked her,” he pushed at her shoulder with his, getting Lorena to blush a little. “...What happened,” she hesitantly asked. Miguel took a bit to answer. “Like I said. I wasn’t supposed to be there.” 

“Oh.”

“It happened the same way yours did. She glitched away in my arms.”

Lorena���s attitude quickly changed when she heard the first part of that statement. “What do you mean ‘it happened the same way yours did’?” she asked, a tang of anger and confusion in her voice. Miguel knew he made a mistake the minute the words left his mouth. But he had gone too far to go back now. “I’m the reason the canon collapsed and destroyed Gabi’s Earth.”

Lorena stood up slowly from the bed, and turned away from him as she felt her face and eyes get hotter. “So…we made the same mistake…right?” she asked slowly. Miguel sighed, knowing where this was going. 

“Yes.”

She let out a slight laugh to herself, wiping her mouth with her hand as she felt the anger rising inside of her. “And you get off scot-free right?”

“Lorena, it’s not like that-”

“No, you know what, it sure seems it's that way. Big shot Miguel O’Hara gets to strut around destroying universes at his own will-”

“That’s not true and you know it.” He was starting to yell now too, standing up now as well.

She continued though. “While the rest of us can’t even get a restful night of sleep without fearing that some guy in a red and blue suit is gonna come from behind and slit our backs open?!”

“I’m trying to stop it from happening again!”

“Then why are you always too late, huh?”

Silence echoed through the room. 

“If you’re trying so hard to stop the same thing from happening again, why is my entire home gone? Why is everyone I love fucking dead Miguel?!” she shouted, her volume growing louder and louder. 

“That isn’t my fault!”

“And it’s not mine either, so why should I be punished for it?! Do you think I asked for this? I didn’t ask to watch my entire world disappear before my eyes as I ran away like a fucking coward!”

“You know what, you are a coward. Because at least I didn’t run. At least I tried to help!”

“Oh how noble of you! Everyone give it up for Miguel O’Hara, the hero who can do no wrong!” Lorena mocked. “You’re a fucking hypocrite, Miguel!” This conversation was the first time she used his first name as well, but both of them were too busy clawing at each other’s throats to notice. 

“At least I’m doing my job right! The more anomalies like you I put away, the better the multiverse will be. You sick fucks don’t do anything except cause trouble for everyone else. And to the ones who’s worlds are already gone? You creatures had it coming to you. You deserved what happened to you, you fucking anomaly!”

Miguel felt the sharp sting of Lorena’s palm against his cheek. “You call me that word again O’Hara and I swear to god, I won’t hesitate to kill you, take your watch, and run,” she stated, boiling with rage, before storming off into the bathroom and slamming the door shut.

She pressed her hands to the door as her back slid down it. She then slammed her fists onto the hard tile, repeatedly, her own strength cracking it even more. Blood flew from her skin as she continued to take her anger out on the floor, until her hands were shaking out of control. His words continued to echo through her head. You deserved it. Coward. Anomaly. 

Shakily, she stood up from the ground, and leaned her bloody hands on the sink counter in front of the mirror. Her own reflection looked ashamed of her. Memories ran through her head. Her uncle shot dead on the street. Her aunt looking to her, eyes wide, unsure of what was happening to her as she disappeared from existence. Then, it was coming to her again. Eddie.

~~~~~~~~~~~

She had been fighting the symbiote for what felt like hours. Thankfully, the surrounding area of the city had already been evacuated, so she wasn’t as worried about the alien hurting civilians. But she was beginning to get tired, and the gashes in the side of her suit from the alien’s claws were starting to take a toll on her. Remembering a lesson in class about symbiotes and their weaknesses, she took two metal poles from the destruction around her, and banged them together to break apart the alien. 

As its warped screams tore through the atmosphere from the clanging, Lorena took the opportunity to finally use her acid webs to slice off one of its arms. It worked. While it was still broken apart, she managed to stab the body inside the alien straight in the chest with a jagged pole. Once the symbiote fell to the ground, and the black goo started to crawl away from the body in search of a new host, Lorena could feel her heart sink into the bottom of her stomach. 

Even while dying, he was still beautiful to her. 

Eddie Brock. The boy she loved her whole life. 

His arm was sliced off and blood was gushing out of his midsection. Lorena ripped her sweaty mask off her face as she rushed towards his body. “No no no no Eddie, what are you doing here,” she asked him, while pressing her hands to his chest to stop the bleeding, as if that would actually do anything. “I-I…didn’t k-know,” was all he could manage to get out. “Shhh, it’s okay, I’m gonna get you out of here, it’s gonna be fine,” she blurted out, hot tears already burning her face. She felt his hand grab hers, then pulled her head down to his lips. She pressed her lips to his as the tears transferred down from her face to his. Once he let go, he managed to whisper something to her. 

“Don’t lose your heart.”

Lorena feverishly shook his body as the light left his eyes. “Eddie please don’t do this to me, please just stay with me, don’t do this,” she pleaded and begged to him over and over and over again. Her suit was stained in red from sitting next to his bleeding body for so long, her hands most effected. She sobbed over his body until morning, fleeing the scene when the police came to inspect the area.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

She cradled herself into a little cocoon on the shiny, yellow tile as she silently wept. Miguel was right about her. And she knew it. 

Once she was finally finished, she stood up and wiped her swollen eyes. “Idiot,” she said quietly to herself.

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NEXT CHAPTER

a/n: the chapter was starting to get super long so i just decided to split it into 2 so chapter 7 should be out pretty soon since i've already got most of it done

taglist: @the-ikran-man @jenniferdixon05207 @yuuuumii @elwyn7 @waniesss @lust-for-pan @natthernandez @pix-stuff @ang3lf4c3 @artfulthoughtswp

[enigmatist17]

IT IS I, THE CUDDLE PILE ANON. OK OK I KNOW I SAID THAT WOLFFE WAS MY LAST REQUEST BUTTTTTTT I HAD 2 IDEAS AT LIKE 3 IN THE MORNING sooooo basically one about the 501st (+Ashoka) and how they’d comfort Rex when he’s down. And another one were the 501st (+Rex maybe anakin) comfort Ashoka when she’s down. THEY’RE SUCH GOOD BIG BROTHERS 😭 in return for these 2 ideas, I shall gift you with my love and weird quotes my friends have said: “all I wanted was a 10 piece McNugg, I got spiritual enlightenment” “I know I’m not the sharpest kid in the shed…wait” preferably separate fics pls (when it’s convenient for u, YOUR HEALTH COMES FIRST GO DRINK WATER YOU FABULOUS AUTHOR) hey that kinda rhymed ok I’m done 🙃

So sorry I'm late on the first prompt, but finally here we are!

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"Uh oh, someone messed up."

When Fives is the one to freeze in the middle of a conversation, that gains the attention of the scattered 501st troopers nearby. Said newly minted ARC had been in the middle of a rousing story when he noticed that one of the medics decided to join the rest of the "plebs" willingly.

And not only a medic, Kix was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed.

"Whatever it was, it wasn't me!" Kix raised an eyebrow as Fives lifted his hands, and gives an amused snort.

"For once it's not your fault. Any of you see Rex?"

"Avoiding you again?" Echo asked, looking up from the manuals he'd been idly reading. "Told him you were going to start getting angry."

"I'm past that, I told him I need to monitor his BSV recovery, and I can't do that if he insists on skirting the medbay. Now, since you all clearly don't have anything to do, I'm pulling rank and ordering you to hunt down Rex and bring him to me."

"But we just got our game going!" Hardcase cried in dismay, he and Dogma crouched over a board game they'd been gifted some time ago.

"Aw poor guy." Kix deadpanned, rolling his eyes. "Tell you what, the man who delivers Rex gets some of the treats Plo gave me."

"Seriously?" Hardcase finds the game suddenly not as important, even Dogma side-eyeing the medic along with the very quiet troopers around him.

Kix shook his head.

"The man who brings me Rex gets to have their own mini-stash."

The medic isn't sure he's seen any room empty so fast, shaking his head with a rare chuckle as he heads back to his beloved medbay. It's not the best look to send an entire battalion after their commanding officer, but at this point Kix was tired of the excuses and his concern for Rex's health was overriding his initial trepidation. The BSV and the lives it took in the bunker had sent a ripple of fear through quite a few men, not even able to bury their brothers who had to be burned to ensure no trace of the virus could remain. They were trained to fight against all sorts of enemies, but one that was naked to the eye and deadlier than any clanker was...uncomfortable to think about, and most medics didn't comment on an uptick of their fellow batchers reading up on viruses and how best to combat them. Kix didn't have too long before he received a message, gathering up his mobile kit before heading out and towards where Rex had been found.

"He's buried in his reports." Jesse had found Rex hiding in a communications room, and Kix just nods. "Want me to keep guard?"

"No, I have a task for you."

When the door to his current hideout opens, Rex wants to curse.

"So, are we done hiding?" There's a clunk on the console behind Rex as the medic's kit is set down, and the blonde just remains silent as he fills out another report. "I need you to look at me."

"I'm busy." The excuse falls flat, and Kix scoffs.

"Who isn't. Do I need to pull rank again, or will you let me do the bare minimum exam?"

"......."

Rex gives in after twenty minutes of silence, the captain grumbling under his breath as Kix descends on him. Despite not being pleased with Rex and his evasiveness, he takes care to keep most of Rex's attention him himself rather than his medical tools. Rex hadn't said it out loud, which to be fair he couldn't as to remain the face his men looked up to and trusted, but being subjected to more than a few nasty tests after being liberated from the BSV had not helped him recover from the fact he could have died without being able to save anyone, let alone himself. Medbay's hadn't been much to him before, but now Rex started going out of his way to catch Kix and the other medics outside of the room, reassuring them as always yet avoiding simple things like his recovery assessment.

"You have been recovering nicely." There's a very small slump of Rex's shoulders, but the medic says nothing as he packs up his kit. "I'll test the blood I took, but you're lucky."

"Like I've been saying, I feel fine." Kix raised an eyebrow, pausing to shoot the surprised commander a glare.

"Oh you are nowhere near fine, but I did promise to try and be nice right now. I order you to report to the barracks, you've been holing up away from everyone, and it shows."

"I have reports to fill out..." Rex winces at how weak his protest is, but doesn't get much of a chance to say more when the door opens once more to reveal Ahsoka. "Really?"

"Jesse says you can't ignore me asking you things." The togruta smiled, and Kix can see the tension visibly leaving Rex as the togruta crosses the small room with a smile.

"Jesse is a traitor." Rex grumbled, but Kix doesn't need to Force to see there was no malice in his words.

"Maybe, but he's right. You haven't seen come to our sabbac nights anymore, and not even Skyguy has seen you outside of shift. So, I'm asking you to come join us scrubs for the night!"

"I'm sorry scrubs?" Rex's eyebrows shot up as Kix failed to hide his snort of amusement, a small grin cracking his impassive face for the first time in ages. "Let me guess, Fives taught you that?"

"Mhm! Although judging by the two of you, it doesn't mean regular troops does it?" Ahsoka grumbled as Kix just barked out a laugh, Rex trembling in the effort to hold his own in. "I'm so getting back at him."

"As long as it doesn't involve personal injury, I'll help." Kix shook his head in amusement, watching Rex place his hand on Ahsoka's shoulder.

"I have a few ideas myself." He tries not to focus on the way the Jetti preens when he gets to his feet, shifting close to him as the trio head out and towards the barracks, listening to some of Rex's surprisingly good prank ideas to use later on.

No one kicks up a fuss when Rex finally joins them for the impromptu movie night Echo and Dogma had set up, just joking with him and laughing about the movie that was more a sound board than actually paid attention to. They all knew it was just background amusement, just happy to see their commander letting loose for the first time since the BSV and enjoying his men's company, leaving the bunker deep in his mind for another night.

[macawritesupdates]

Yay new chapter ✨️ damn so proud of Yuuji he's getting stronger bit by bit he's going to be so formidable someday. Calling out Sukuna on his bullshit behavior is great especially since he actually did research and knows that alphas in the past really didn't act all awful all the time. I don't doubt Sukuna when he says he had people trying to get with him all the time back then though especially since in the manga he's got yorozu and kashimo flirting with him. I wonder if he'll be able to put it together in his head that he didn't like how pushy Yorozu was with him so why would he assume that kinda behavior would fly with someone else… Probably not. Ahh man Yuuji's right on the money Sukuna is a bit feral with no proper socialization. It was so good to see all the ways he's trying though looking up how to be a good alpha is straight up hilarious and the crooning was adorable!! He's learning ok he's capable of change it's just slow and he needs examples on what to do. Unfortunately all of their previous interactions have not left Yuuji with a good impression of Sukuna so of course he didn't respond the way Sukuna wanted him to. I was so happy to see Sukuna's lovely nest hehe<3. In the first chapter Sukuna asked if Yuuji grew up around omegas and learned to make nests from them. I wonder who he learned from? He could have learned from the internet of course but maybe in this fic Uraume was an omega and he learned from them. No romance there, they're just besties. The sleepover was delightful. I could read about all the students getting to cuddle and relax together forever and the mini war to cuddle the pillow had me grinning so hard. The upperclassmen being all supportive was exactly what Yuuji needed. the ending though ahh you really know how to hit hard huh now I've got to be all scared for my boy!! Yuuji's in danger what could Sukuna possibly ask in exchange for his help?! Wait this fic is interactive I've got to come up with some ideas to help answer that question. Ok Ok so I was kinda hoping Sukuna would really have to earn his place in Yuuji's nest although asking to be allowed in would make sense… hmm maybe he could ask to be allowed to scent Yuuji instead. Gotta (enjoy the brat smelling like him) Keep bothersome alphas away after all. I Think after Sukuna rescues Yuuji he should take him back to his grandpa's house and make a nice nest there so Yuuji wakes up surrounded by familiar comforting blankets that still smell like home to him. When it's all over and they talk Yuuji should get close to Sukuna and Sukuna tenses up a bit but Yuuji gives him a hug and whispers thank you. Sukuna should get to freeze and then very carefully hug back. Perhaps Sukuna can learn what it feels like to save someone and be the hero for just a moment. Perhaps if he plays his cards right and manages to mitigate his bastard tendencies for a whole five minutes he'll even get to cuddle. Ahh man I'm caught between loving slow burn enemies to lovers and loving happy sweet cuddling so so much ugh Maca how do you decide when to let them get all fluffy together? Sukuna could decide he really doesn't like it when other alphas try to bully Yuuji and offers to teach him something to protect himself. I think it'd be cool if Yuuji learns a simple domain or makes a deal with Sukuna where he could use his technique against enemy alphas in exchange for Sukuna being allowed out for a bit whenever he does. There's also an angsty option here where Yuuji compares the awful alpha to Sukuna in a moment of rage, which deeply hurts Sukuna although he hides it under anger. Loved this chapter and look forward to the next one. Thank you for writing and sharing with us!!

The trick to knowing when to do the cuddles is that the emotions are there, the time is right, and the stage is set c: When dealing with characters, it is always about doing it on their own terms that makes it fluffy! Like after all this...now they are taking those first steps <3 All about the feels. When the time is right, the characters will make their move <3

Going to pull some ideas from here for sure to mix into the next chapter! Got so many suggestions, I'm excited to see how this next chapter comes out! (as I never have any idea until the compiling of all the comments happen, which was today hehe!)

[saturn-sends-hugs]

Ok had a long car ride so guess what EP11 THOUGHTS LETS GOOOO:

(plus a good amount of ep12 predictions cause uh i am very excited bkshsjjkssk)

Couple little things first, starting with WHY DID I HAVE TO SEE NALA SE AGAIN. I mean I knew logically we would see her again but that doesn’t mean I was ready for it >:( i do not forgive u for fives u cruel cruel long lady

Then the batch telling Cid off!!! Slay!! Absolutely slay get it that is so important, especially that Omega was directly calling her out for leaving them stranded. I’m really interested to see where that storyline goes and if they either end up leaving Cid (and probably adding to Omegas trust issues in the process cause WOW everyone is letting her down these days (echo i love u but ur girl is not ok)), or if they stay with her and she gets some sort of redemption arc? Idk, can’t decide which seems more likely, but all I can say is I hope next episode has absolutely nothing to do with it. Like it’s an interesting storyline but… yeahh…

And oh god, the boys walking around the ship, why was Wrecker the only one being smart??? Like Tech just ran off on his own, knowing full well the creature was most likely still on the ship, Hunter had his just mwah chefs kiss line of “Whatever did this wasn’t human,” like… HMMM HUNTER I HADNT NOTICED (“And where there’s a farm, there’s usually a farmer!”) But Wrecker was actually paying attention!! He picked up the volt-staff (which like yeah he was gonna anyways but it was still smart) and he made note of the walls being reinforced meaning whatever they were holding must be something strong. And later in the episode he sees the Empire snag the zillo beast and he takes note of how “They’re not killing it. They’re taking it.” Like I love those little moments where Wrecker just passively shows off how smart he is?? He plays the big goofy guy since it’s just kinda his personality, but he still knows his stuff. Hell, he made a rocket launcher out of parts from a separatist tank in less than a minute while under fire from the enemy?? And it worked perfectly? And repeatedly??? Anyway Wrecker spiel over but the man is a genius and I love him.

Tech and Omega’s moments in this episode, oh i lOVE THEM. Him messing up and scaring her then kinda not knowing how to fix it, Omega unplugging his datapad to make him get going, Tech immediately covering her while they ran from explosion omG I LOVE THEM. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH they are so wonderful and sweet and perfect and Filoni I swEAR YOU BETTER NOT TOUCH THEM (I feel like they’re safe for the most part but still, I do not trust. (like of all of them I think Hunter, Omega and Wrecker are the safest? They kinda can’t be taken out; you need the leader, you can’t lose the kid, and Wrecker is pretty much the majority of the comic relief. And Tech is safe-ish too cause he’s just such a character type that I feel like you can’t get rid of him. But uh… Echo and Cross are not safe. They are very much so in danger, maybe Echo most of all and oh god I am scared for him. And also Cody if he ever comes back. …where is cody..?))

OK and now for bigger things like oMG ECHO AND REX HOLY SHIBSJSBSJBSKZNZKDNOEBEKSNSKLSMSNSJXLDNSKNSKS YES YES ABSOLUTELY CALL ECHO AND REX I NEED TO SEE THEMMMMMM!!! The way Hunter did his little main character moment slow zoom when he said that? There’s absolutely no way that’s not important to this weeks episode or at least the one after that so AAAAAA I AM SO EXCITEDDDDD. The batch has needed Echo so much in every single episode since he left; Tech going off on his own in this one felt so wrong because Echo should’ve been right there with himmm!! (i mean he should 100% be with rex but like you get what i mean)

And at the end when Lama Su mentions kidnapping Omega again? That feels equally important. Not only is the Empire going to have to admit that Clone Force 99 isn’t dead, but they’re going to have to start hunting them down again to get Omega. And to me, I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw Crosshair being ordered to hunt Omega down in particular, since he knows the batch so well and would know best how to snatch Omega from them. (Also like story-wise… who else would it be? …Boba?) Now would that be so incredibly painful and awful to see? Yes, yes it would. Am I still incredibly excited to see it? ALSO YES.

And with both of these things, the Echo and Rex mention and a target on Omega, as well as the fact that this next episode is (i’m pretty sure?) confirmed to have Crosshair in it, I’m really really hoping the episode follows either of them (Cross or Rex and Echo) and their paths end up crossing?? Like maybe Crosshair gets his orders to hunt down Omega, and in trying to track the batch he ends up finding a lead on just Echo? Or maybe it follows Rex and Echo looking into the zillo beast and in trying to find out more they run into Crosshair? And maybe they find out abt Cody??? And anD AND OOO maybe Echo has a moment where he finally decides, fuck it, I can’t leave my brother with the empire any longer and he like tries to reason with Cross? Idk but either way I am REALLY hoping they cross paths somehow plEASE ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE IVE SEEN EITHER OF THEMMM 😭😭😭

like it is in fact womens history month and also my birthday on thursday so mr filoni is actually legally obligated to not emotionally destroy me thank you very much :D

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 168

A Little Slice of Kevin/The Girl Who Waited

“A Little Slice of Kevin”

Plot Description: Castiel suddenly appears back on Earth with no memory of how he escaped from Purgatory. Mrs. Tran enlists a witch to concoct a demon bomb

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: I think so. Unless everyone at that park got pseudo-raptured

Where’s…oh, he was driving TO wherever he and Sam are kinda hiding out

This poor angel from the auction is being tortured by Crowley. Poor bby. Is he looking for other prophets??

I am in fact wondering that, Crowley.

I trust Mrs. Tran but I don’t trust this witch she’s working with

Omg Mrs Tran is so proud of herself 🫶🫶🫶

I know those are your routine questions but like….does a FIVE YEAR OLD HAVE ENEMIES???

Did you think you saw Cas again? I look away for ONE second

Omg. I love people. They think they’ve been abducted by aliens. You have rights other places, not in hell

Castiel is BACK back…sort of. He might not yet be at full power, but at least he’s topside and with the boys again

Oh. Oh there he isssssssssss, the Cas we love

If they ever actually kill Mrs Tran I’m gonna be so mad. She’s wonderful. She’s resourceful. Crowley sentenced her to die after kidnapping Kevin, and she grabbed her super soaker full of holy water and absolutely blasted that demon. I love her so much

I love how no one really says much when Dean goes into his minutes long flashbacks

I can’t take Jensen’s yelling seriously. It’s just not believable 💀 he’s so much better at angry whispering

HE’S BEEN BLAMING HIMSELF FOR NOT GETTING CAS OUT OF PURGATORY THIS WHOLE TIME BUT CAS NEVER BLAMED HIM ONCE

Mrs Tran KIDNAPPED THE DEMON LEFT TO KILL HER. She’s so wonderful

Oh. THAT’S why it’s called a little SLICE of Kevin ☹️

A farewell note from Metatron?? But we’ve yet to even meet him!!

Oh. Guess the demon bombs work

Oh. Cas IS…….using his powers recklessly despite not having all his strength back

Omg the Trans and Garth are going to be hanging out? I want THOSE episodes

He didn’t blame him…because he…stayed on his own volition. He stayed to atone for everything he’s done

Oh no. I don’t like this. I don’t like him being forcibly brought back to heaven…

No no no noooooo, I don’t like this for him. HE GOES THROUGH SO MUCH. At least with the Winchesters they kinda alternate seasons who’s gonna do something super fucked up and/or die

“The Girl Who Waited”

Plot Description: Amy is trapped in a quarantine facility for victims of an alien plague

Couldn’t he have told her WHICH button to push? Sure, but then we wouldn’t have an episode

The number of times she gets…not REALLY left behind by the Doctor but I’m sure it FEELS that way 😭and the fact that they keep pushing the not-really-even-there love triangle is silly. They haven’t done it this episode YET, but it could definitely happen

Ok but Rory DOES look good in the glasses

Oh no…oh it’s zero to one hundred in seconds flat with these robots. I get that the whole planet is under quarantine but there’s gotta be a step between “let me help you because you’re carrying unknown germs” and “I’m going to basically blow dart this medicine at you without actually knowing that you’re sick”

At first glance, at least, I would like to visit this garden Amy’s in

That was a RISKY MOVE making the robots high five, effectively deactivating them, though maybe only temporarily

“I don’t care that you got old. I care that we didn’t grow old together” 😭😭 he loves her so much

Oh….amyyyyy. I can’t imagine what it would feel like to be that touch starved for that long. Or I can only BEGIN to imagine it

She named her reprogrammed robot Roryyyyyy.

She LITERALLY disarmed it

Goddddd that CRUSHING LONELINESS she went through

This is a horrible position to put Rory in. He’s only just seen his Amy earlier today. This Amy hasn’t seen ANYONE in 36 years. If they save this Amy, the Amy we know has to wait 36 years to be rescued, but if they rescue the Amy they know, this one effectively dies…and she’s making Rory choose which version of his wife matters more to him

And SHE loves Rory sooooo much back 😭

I think the Doctor might be lying about if two Amys can exist at the same time even in something as impossible as the TARDIS.

Karen Gillan should always have a sword. Just saying

Having watched Glass Onion, the Mona Lisa could not be destroyed THAT easily

What is it with today’s episodes and one half of a ship choosing to stay behind while the other blames and chastises and guilts themself over the other person’s choice?? Both Cas and older Amy CHOSE to stay where they were and Dean and Rory beat themselves up over it

I was also right about the Doctor lying about being able to take both Amys

[sockmanners]

Sonic and the Eggman War, Chapter 6

"Trouble."

July 8th, 2006, 7 AM, First moon.

Tails the young fox gets rudely woken up by his new trainer, Knuckles the Echidna.

"Wake up fox! It is time to train!" Yells Knuckles.

"....five more minutes.." groans tails.

"Fine, your loss fox." Knuckles says teasingly as he walks out of the hut tails was sleeping in.

Tails then stumbles out of bed clumsily into the bathroom, he washes his face then brushes his teeth. He then combs his hair and puts in his contacts and walks out of his house, but before he walks out he realizes that Sonic is gone.

"Huh, maybe he's training" tails says as he flys over to the training station.

Tails then opens the door but only see's Knuckles, no Sonic in sight.

"Ah," says Knuckles, "you've found your way I see?"

"Yep! But where's Sonic?" Questions Tails.

"The Hedgehog?" Asks knuckles, "do you want him as a sparring partner?"

"What? No!" Tails says, "I wanna know where he is."

"You don't need him for training, fox, all you need is your spirit, and your body, make sure to train at your own pace, I do not want to pressure you fox" Knuckles told. "Now what are your advantages?"

"My what?" Asked Tails

"Your tails, fox, your tails are one of your advantages against the enemy." Knuckles corrected Tails, "do you know any attacks already with your tails?" Knuckles then asked.

"Well.. no, not really.." Tails said disappointingly

"Try to cut this punching bag with them." Knuckles said.

"What? How!" Tails yelled, "that doesn't make any sense!"

Knuckles groaned and then positioned tails into a stance.

"Now spin in a circle very fast with your tails out untill you hit the bag, I'll be back for lunch." Knuckles said as he left the training station.

Tails stood there, just wondering how this even will do anything, using the one thing he was bullied about, and even shunned by his parents by as a weapon. Yet, tails does it, and nearly cuts the bag in half. Tails gasped, he didn't realize he could have done this, he didn't realize that he had such.. power.

July 8th, 2006, 1 PM, Second moon.

Knuckles came back to the training station with two bowls of soup.

"I have arrived fox, have you been training?"

Knuckles then noticed the destroyed bag on the floor, then found Tails sitting on a bench the next room over.

"Ah, there you are fox, here," Knuckles said as he gave Tails a bowl of soup.

"Oh. Thanks Knuckles." Tails replied, "where did you get this food?" He then asked.

"Ah, my mother is not just a warrior, but she is a gatherer as well!" Knuckles says proudly as he starts to eat, "go on, eat my mother's cooking fox, it'll make you strong."

Tails hesitates for a second, but then takes a scoop of soup from his spoon and tastes it, the savory broth and perfectly cooked meat makes him instantly fall in love with Echidna cooking.

"Mmmn.. This is great Knuckles!" Tails then quickly eats the whole bowl of soup then asks Knuckles, "hey... When do I learn more moves like my tail swipe?"

"Your what?" Asks Knuckles

"Sorry, I like to name all of my things, including my abilities." Tails explained.

"Ah." Knuckles says as it starts to rain, "maybe tomorrow fox, it appears that there is a storm coming."

"Ok, let's get out of here then," Tails announces as the two walk out of the training room to see Sonic, badly bruised and cut, holding a metal arm with a chaos emerald in it.

END OF CHAPTER 6.

[feyre-darling92]

Alive and in Love

Cassian Andor x reader Modern AU

A/N: Alright, this might sound weird but I thought why not?? Might be a series, (yeah I say this every time but I promise I will complete this)

Synopsis: You live a peaceful life working for the spy agency until you’re assigned on a mission that is about to change your life

Tropes used: Modern AU, Brother’s best friend (you’ll see), Enemies to lovers, Fake marriage, Angst, Fluff

Warnings: Swearing, that’s all for now, bad writing

Taglist: @stanny-uwu​ , @hollymac79​  (If you want to stop getting tag for this particular story just let me know!). Join my taglist

Beep Beep Beep the alarm hit, waking you up from a so-needed sleep. You sat up and sighed, your eyelids still heavy and the morning sun peeking through the window and lighting slightly the room.

Another morning, another regular day. Perfect

“At least I’m still alive” you murmured to yourself while you made coffee.

Sometimes these four words, “I am still alive”, sounded like a miracle. Sometimes they sounded like a curse.

You see, working for the spy agency and being alive was an unusual combination, how you managed to succeed in both is still a question. But you knew and had already accepted that this was a part of the job. Unlike your family.

The feeling of a liquid in your hand put you out of your thoughts. You were so absorbed in them that you didn’t even realize that not only your cup was filled but the hot coffee leaked from the counter as well.

Cursing under your breath you grabbed a cloth and cleaned the mess. Yep, this was a regular occurrence, starting your day on the wrong foot. Weird but usual.

You got dressed and made your hair, grabbed your bag and threw the necessary things, and left the house. You were already late, though it was still 8 a.m. The city streets were empty, only a few people walking or driving, going to their jobs, you imagined.

Greeting a couple of neighbors who happened to pass by felt strange to you. The only thing you knew about each other was just a name, maybe a few personality traits but that’s it. You didn’t know their families, what they were doing for a living, or how was life for them. And they didn’t know about you either. Well, no one except your close family knew but still.

About five minutes later you could make out your friend’s figure waiting for you.

“Good morning, Jyn” you smiled at your best friend

“’ Morning. How are you?” you both started walking towards the facility you both worked in, not too far from where you were.

“You know, the usual”

“Depressed and single?” she said in amusement and you laughed, “Hell yeah. Life is so hard for me,” you said dramatically and she burst to laugh. “Drama queen”

Your ringtone interrupted your laughs, the name appearing on the screen ruining your mood. “Did I mention my awful family? I say it now”

You picked up the phone, “Goodmorning, mum. I am afraid I can’t speak now, we’ll talk later ok?” you said and put down your phone. “You shouldn’t be so harsh to her, you know. She is your mother after all” Jyn said after a few seconds.

“I am old enough to know what’s good and bad for me, Jyn. I chose this profession for some reasons and they have to respect that, not keep telling me every fucking time to change my career” you explained, feeling a little guilty.

“I wish I had a family like yours. They’re good people”

“Alright. First of all, you say that because you’ve only been with them for a couple of days. Second of all, you have me. I am the sister you don’t know how to get rid off”

“Both are true” she chuckled and we heard a voice behind us, “Goodmorning ladies”

“Morning Chirrut. Blaze” you both greeted your friends.

“Why are you so distressed?” Chirrut asked you but Blaze answered before you could, “You can’t see her. But yeah, what’s wrong with you?”

“I am fine” the answer sounded more defensive than you’d like it. The truth was that you had a bad feeling about this. You brushed off this thought and entered the building ready for another day of work.

-------

Time passed more slowly than ever, the dull task of filling out the paperwork for the last mission assigned to you. One hour on this task and you were writing almost automatically.

“Y/N” you heard someone call out your name and lifted your head only to face Jyn.

“What happened? Felt sorry for me and came to save me?”

“I doubt if what I’m going to tell you will bring any joy to your miserable life but they need you”

Curiosity took over you as you got up and followed her to the chief’s office. “Do you know what is this about? Bet it’s another mission” you asked as you walked through the corridor.

“I don’t know. But I was sent to call him too”

“Call who?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know” she gave you a side glance and you immediately realized what she meant.

“Oh, you mean him,” you said not enthusiastic at all, the opposite actually.

When you reached your destination she opened the door for you, “Good luck” she whispered as you walked past her and when the door closed behind you felt more alone than ever.

“Chief” you nodded in greeting ignoring the man sitting on a chair next to you, “you asked for me?”

“Yes, L/N, please sit down” she gestured to the empty chair next to his. You sat and turned your attention to her.

“Let’s get straight to the point, you two are my best agents. And we, I need your help” she started and you straightened your back, ready to hear your assignment.

“As you know, for the last couple of months we are after an organization responsible for terroristic acts and crimes against humanity. The last agents we sent managed to find out that they are planning something big, but we still don’t know what ”

“What did they see?” he asked.

“They never returned to tell us and they’re not the only victims. They count over 65 assassinations” she looked at both of us and got up, “Cassian Andor and Y/N L/N, you are assigned on this mission together because you’re the best hope we have. Your goal is to find as much as you can and try to stop them. Blaze and Bodhi will inform you about what we know so far”

“We won’t let you down, ma’am,” you said and got up. Cassian opened the door for you and you muttered thanks. “Agents?” you both turned, “Be careful”

Alright, this was serious. The chief had never told you to be careful, before a mission.

 No, she wasn’t heartless, but she knew that all of you would be careful regardless of the seriousness of the mission.

“So, another mission together, huh?” you broke the awkward silence as you walked together to your mutual friends’ lab.

“Guess we make a good team”

“Don’t take it upon yourself, Andor”

“You flatter yourself, L/N,” He said and pushed the door to the lab open.

“We were expecting you” Bodhi turned his chair so he faced us. “You know that’s creepy, right?” Cassian chuckled and leaned against the wall. “What do you have for us?”

“Always into business and no fun. That’s why I like Y/N more than your ass”

Blaze teased him and you raised your eyebrows in amusement.“I love you, Blaze” you tapped his shoulder and took a seat next to Bodhi. “What do you have for us, Q?”

“You know James Bond is my favorite movie. But let me say that this organization is like Spectre”

“Great” you sighed

“What the hell are you talking about?” Cassian asked, not understanding a word of what you said.

“Oh, I forget you’re not a normal person”

“You say that because I haven’t watched James Bond?”

“Yep”

He just rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to Bodhi. Before he could speak the door opened for one more time and Jyn and Chirrut entered.

“I see we’re all here” Chirrut joked and Blaze restrained himself from replying that he couldn’t see.

“So,” Bodhi pressed a button and six images appeared in front of us, “These four are the suspects” he gestured to the first four images. “And these two” he gestured to the last two “These are the agents we sent”

“Holly crap” you swore and leaned forward to have a better look at them. They both were a bloody mess, parts detached from their bodies, face fully distorted from the wounds and cuts.

“How terrible are they?” Chirrut asked and Jyn who was terribly disgusted replied silently, “I can’t even describe them”

The truth was that in the seven years you worked there you’d never seen anything like that before.

“We are doomed” you felt a tie in your throat as you spoke. This was definitely not what you expected to see. Cassian who surprisingly hadn’t said a word looked at you, “We’ll make it. We always do”

You hated that the only reassurance you had were his words and that they came from him, but in the end, you might die together.

“Now, the important part” Bodhi gave a file with the suspects to both of you, “These are the suspects”. You opened it and examined their profiles, they were all from the same town, but- “Blaze?”

“Yes?”

“Please tell me that you’ve mistaken the name of the main suspect” you closed your eyes begging for it to not be true.

“No, they’re all right. Why?”

“Because she knows him” Bodhi replied from behind you. “I would come to that, though I know you won’t like it. You need to live there for a couple of weeks. Actually, the main suspect-”

“Is someone I used to know” you completed his sentence shocked. “Tell me this is a joke. Please”

“I am sorry, Y/N, but this is all true”

“You’re saying to me that I am assigned with him” you pointed towards Cassian, “to the town I grew up” you sat down, “and the main suspect is him?”

“Seems that someone has bad luck,” Chirrut said.

“And who are you even supposed to be?” you turned to Cassian who shrugged, “Who am I supposed to be?”

“Her fiance”

“Excuse me?” You both got up from where you were standing defending yourselves, “Absolutely not” “There’s no chance”

“I see you already know how to play your roles” Jyn chuckled but immediately regretted it when you both shot her a death glare. “I mean” she cleared her throat, “People usually assume that you’re married”

“It’s because we’re working together that long” Cassian said.

“But we still fight as a couple”

“It’s inevitable” he muttered under his breath.

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing”

“Gods you’re insufferable”

“You think so”

“They are capable of killing each other before they complete the mission”

“We’re not!” you exclaimed.

“Yes we are,” Cassian said. “In order to succeed we need to work together. So, what do you say, L/N? Truce?” he extended his hand.

“Truce” you rolled your eyes and exchanged a handshake.

“Someone take a picture. We won’t see this happen again”

“Oh, shut up, Jyn!” You and he said in unison.

“Anyways, you’re dismissed,” Blaze said and turned to his computer, “unlike us”

“I did the paperwork while you sat here chatting with Bodhi. It’s more than fair”

“Talking about paperwork, I have to return to my office. See you later” Jyn greeted us and left and so you did.

You were about to reach the exit when you heard a voice, his voice calling you. “What happened? Missed me already?” you teased him as you both walked outside, “No, but I forgot to tell you that we’re leaving tomorrow morning”

“What time exactly?” you asked even though you knew that you wouldn’t like the answer.

“Early. Very early”

“Dare to wake me up before seven and I swear I’ll kill you myself”

“Funny, we’re leaving at 6.30 a.m.”

“What?”

He shrugged and stopped, “The drawbacks of the profession. Don’t get too excited”

“Good afternoon to you too, Andor”

“Whatever you say” he teased and you watched him walk away. 

Insecurities immediately hit you. What would happen now? And most importantly would you survive this?

I am still alive. That’s all that matters you thought and headed home.

Part 2 , Part 3

[shadyteacup]

May i ask fanfiction with dazai osamu and chuuya nakahara where fem! Reader aka their s/o falls asleep ln them and then they become SUPER OVERPROTECTIVE like somebody is like: i can take that pretty lady so you can rest and then they take a merf gun or some kind of weapon or like does something and are like: TOUCH HER AND YOURE GONE

Hey, there! This was fun to write!

Tw: Some blood in Chuuya's part, but nothing gory..

Lemme know if this is what u wanted ;)

Dazai

Dazai was looking out of the window, observing the passing scenery. He loved train rides. They somehow calmed him. Observing the fast approaching trees and watching them zoom past, was a favorite pass time of his. You and Dazai had gone to visit a client in the neighboring city, and Dazai had insited on traveling via train.

Both of you were sitting side by side, shoulders touching, as you shared one ear bud each. You were playing the music today. Your choice in songs was quite diverse. You could vibe to chaotic metal, noisy edm, soft guitar songs and  famous classicals like Beethoven's Für Elise.

Today, you had decided to play soft songs. They had a calming effect. It was much needed too, as your mission had been quite tiring.

Dazai felt a weight on his shoulder. Moving his head to the side, he saw your sleeping face. Your cheek was smushed on his shoulder, and stray hair was strewn a over your nose and forehead.

He smiled softly at the adorable sight. He gently nuzzled his face on your head, craving your touch.

He was never so possessive and touchy before. You had completely changed him. Now, he couldn't stand being away from you for five minutes. He always needs to have some form of physical contact with you. It can be as simple as a touch of your shoulders, or your hand in his, or as elaborate as a bear hug, or a gentle kiss.

It was the rush hour, so you both had to share a booth. The man sitting opposite you both kept stealing glances at you. Dazai, ofcourse, noticed this. He decided to ignore it. He knew how beautiful you were. It was obvious that a beauty such as you would gather male attention. He had encountered so many men and women that had tried to woo you. But you had always stayed with him. You loved him, afterall. And he loved you. So he pretended to not have noticed the man's glances. Unfortunately, he can't control who should and shouldn't look at you.

"Nice woman you've got there, lad!"

The man spoke up. He was looking at Dazai, trying to get a reaction out of him.

Dazai merely glanced at him, giving him a look that said 'mind your business'.

The man shifted his full attention towards you.

Smirking, he leaned ahead a bit, trying to get a closer look at you.

"You wouldn't mind being a good boy, and sharing this lovely lady, would you?"

That was it. Dazai snapped.

The man felt a cool sensation below his jaw. He looked down to find himself face-to-face with the barrel of a gun. His eyes widened, and he gulped.

Dazai leaned forward, ensuring that you weren't disturbed, and spoke near the man's ear.

"Leave before I feed your brain to the stray dogs."

His low, dangerous voice, and murderous gaze was more than enough for the man to stumble out of the booth, and run away.

The slight movement and the man's scared apologies and 'Please don't kill me's stirred you awake. You blinked, looking at Dazai.

"What happened?"

He smiled at you, shaking head, and planting a kiss on your forehead.

"Nothing, love. Needed to take care of a pest. Everything's alright."

You look at him, confused, but nod your head anyway.

"Ok."

"I love you, Y/N."

"I love you too, Osamu :)"

Chuuya

"That's the last of them."

You say as you kick a man on the head, knocking him out.

Chuuya walks over to you, admiring the large number of men you had successfully neutralized.

"That's...amazing, love."

He pecks your lips.

You try to shove him away.

"I'm all bloody, Chuu!"

He grins, hugging you.

"So am I!"

You giggled, giving in and wrapping your arms around his waist. You and Chuuya had been tasked to take down an organization that was meddling in the Mafia's affairs. When you both got to the location, you realized that there were many more men than they had anticipated. It didn't matter, though, as both of you were extremely skilled at combat, and had strong abilities. It was tiring, nonetheless.

"You did such a great job, Y/N. I'm so proud of you."

Chuuya said as he kissed the top of your head. You were the most badass woman he had ever come across, and he was smitten. Your fearlessness and bravery always drives him mad. He loves it when you take control of the situation, and effortlessly drop your enemies to the ground. Swag practically flowed through your veins.

But everybody has a soft side, and he was the lucky guy who got to experience yours.

When you didn't answer back, he looked down, only to hear soft snores.

'Did she fall asleep? While standing up?'

"Y/N?"

He says softly, only to hear no response. He chuckled at your adorable form, and picked you up, bridal style.

He began making his way out of the now ruined building, avoiding the rubble and the multiple bodies strewn across the floor. He could have flown out of here, but he was too tired to use his ability.

On his way out, he encountered a woman. She seemed to belong to the organization. If he remembered correctly, she was one of their founders. He hadn't seen her in the place, so maybe she just arrived to the scene.

"Well, well, well! Look what we have here!" She said, taking a step closer and peering at you.

"What a beauty! Bet she'd look much prettier on my bed. Don't you think so, Mr. Executive?"

Chuuya snapped. He activate his ability. The woman felt a sharp object on her neck. Chuuya had used his ability to hold a dagger to her neck. Multiple blades floated in the air, a red glow surrounding them, as they aimed themselves at the woman.

She chuckled.

"Don't get me wrong, dear! You took everything from me. I deserve a good time, don't you think?"

Her smug smirk was wiped off her face when a teeth shattering punch shook her face. Chuuya stood before her, his blue eyes piercing into her with malice and poison.

She stumbled back into the wall, falling on the ground.

He walked up to her, grabbing her hair and forcing her bleeding face to meet his gaze.

"You want a good time?!! I'll show you how great a time you can have in the dungeons!"

She spat out blood.

Chuuya bent down to her level.

"I'll make you beg for death when I'm done with you."

He knocked her out, calling for backup to take her into lockup.

He looked back to see you sleeping soundly inspite of the ruckus he had just caused. He had used his ability to keep you floating safely in the air, and allowing him to move and strike the disgusting woman.

He smiled at you.

"I'll never let anyone hurt you, darling."

He said, softly kissing your forehead.

[luimagines]

He Accidentally Hurt You Pt. 1

Masterlist

Takes place while in the group, written as a platonic relationship.

this one got away from me entirely, so I had to split it up

Warrior

“I’m telling you, we need to head west!”

“And head straight into enemy territory? I don’t think so!”

“Wild’s right, Warrior. We can’t just sit around here and wait for them to come to us or the people of the town. We’re the only ones who can do something about it.” 

“Need I remind the both of you that we’re all tired as hell as well? We have no potions or healing items, our weapons haven’t been tended to in over a week because of the constant fighting and everyone has an injury in one way or another. We can’t afford to keep going at this rate. We’re lucky enough to have enough food as it is.”

You glanced at the W Trio. Wild, Wind and Warrior.

They’ve been going over the map and strategies for the past hour and it’s getting tiring. That normally would have fallen to Time and Twilight to talk to Warrior about it but they went ahead as the currently strongest of all to secure the perimeter.

It hasn’t been going great.

You sighed and stood up, making your way over to where they were.

Warrior was getting worked up and his gestures became more agitated and pronounced.

They needed to stop.

“Ok, guys, take five and a breather.” You started before your head snapped backwards.

The arguing stopped instantly.

“Oh for Din’s sake! Are you ok?.” Hands covered your own as you felt your face trying to pry them off to get a read on the damage done. “Oh course this has to happen.”

You took a step back and plugged your nose for good measure.

Wild and Wind both look tense and looked between the two of you, expecting something to blow up in their faces.

“Well that was unnecessary.” You spoke after a tense beat.

Warrior bit his lip, warring within himself to both step forward to comfort you and too afraid of pushing your boundaries more than he already has. “I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there. Does it hurt?”

“I’ll live if that’s what you’re asking me.” You raised an eyebrow. “I was going to say that you should all take a break and leave it for a while. Maybe take a nap and come back to it once Twilight and the Old Man can have a say. Because yeah, we’re all tired as hell. I don’t think you liked the idea though.”

Warrior had the decency to look ashamed. “That was unintentional.”

“Regardless, I think I’m bleeding.” You smirk. “You’ve got quite the arm Captain. Last time I checked, a backhanded slap was usually reserved for-”

“Please don’t make this any worse.”

You laughed.

Wind

“Wind! Get down from there!” You called up the tree.

Mr. Sticky Fingers had taken something important from you, not that he knew what it was and you didn’t plan on telling him it’s importance since it was mostly sentimental value but the kid turned it into a game instead.

“I’m not going to climb after you Pirate!”

“I guess it’s mine then!” He taunted back.

You glared at his smirking face and snapped your head to the group. “Excuse me Wild Child, care to lend a hand? You’re the best tree climber among us and I’d really like to get my item back.”

Wild looked up and spotted Wind in the tree. He shrugged and stood up, making his way over. “I can make that climb. Sure.”

“Uh oh.” Wind huddled into himself on the nearest branch before making a mad dash through the tree.

Wild followed closely and you stepped under the tree to get a better view of the chase. The multitude of branches and leave and twigs made it hard to see through and you didn’t see make the executive decision to jump down.

And it seemed as if he didn’t see you either. 

You both landed on the ground, a sickening crack following shortly. Your cry of surprise quickly turning into one of pain.

Wind jumped off of you as if you burned him but stayed close, handing your item back as if that would fix the problem.

The boys crowded you instantly. Hyrule led the charged followed by Twilight and Time. Warrior pulled Wind aside to give them room, Wild jumped down from the tree and Legend chose to stand closer to Hyrule to get a look over his shoulder. Four and Sky held back, concerned faces mirroring each other.

“I think you broke my arm.” You gritted through your teeth.

“I didn’t.... I didn’t mean-” Wind spoke up but bit his lip, cutting himself off. He knew there was no saving him.

“What on earth was so important that it had to come to this?” Time glared at the both of you. You would have felt a little more embarrassed because it was easily avoidable but at the same time, it was your dominant arm and now you struggled to sit up.

“Wind took an item of mine and refused to give it back. To keep me from getting it back, he climbed up a tree and I asked wild to help me out. The kid jumped on me and this happened. End of story.” Hyrule looked up at you questionably before snapping the bones back into place. A scream tore through your throat before you could stop it. “‘RULE! A little warning next time?!”

He grinned sheepishly. “Sorry. It’s better if you aren’t expecting it.”

“What’s so special about that item anyway, if you don’t mind me asking?” Sky came a little closer to rub comforting circles on your back. Hyrule took that as his cue to begin healing the injury properly. “Is it magic?”

Pain clouded your judgment slightly. “No, not exactly.”

“What is it then? It doesn’t look like anything special.” Legend gripped the tip of it and you pulled it closer to your chest, away from the others. “It’s defiantly not magic.”

“Not in the traditional sense.” You agreed. The pain was slowly fading away now, but with the quickening of the healing process, it looked worse than it did before. You turned your eyes away from the black and blue mess.

“It’s... the last gift my mother ever gave to me.” You admitted. “It’s a special kind of magic that only means something to me.”

“The sentimental kind.” Four smiled sadly.

You nodded in agreement. “But it’s not like it does anything. It’s only a token really. However... I’d rather die then let anything happen to it.”

The group stood around you silently, taking in the information.

“I’m sorry.” Wind stood before you. “I didn’t-”

You held your good hand up. “It’s not broken, I knew you would never try that and I got it back. I’m not even mad, just don’t do it again.”

He looked worse after your words, as if it was the worse news you could have told him. You knew the feeling. You felt like maybe it would help him feel better to get yelled at or something equivalent of a punishment but it wasn’t in your nature.

Once that mess was cleared up, he stayed to close to you but was unusually quiet.

You made it a point to make sure that he knew you were still on good terms by the end of the day.

Wild

“I wonder if theses are ok to eat.” You mutter to yourself. Poking at a berry bush that was near your camp, you heard (and felt) your stomach rumble. “Wild would probably know. Hyrule might know as well but....”

THWIP

Something was imbedded in your leg.

“OH MERCY ME!” You fell over, narrowly avoiding the berry thorn bush and looked down. “FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY-  WHAT IN THE WORLD-!”

An arrow.

An arrow was just... sticking out of your leg.

Rustling came from the bushes beyond and out popped a twig and leaf covered head of hair. A scarred face came next that expressed confusion to immediate concern and shock. Wild jumped over the bush and made a mad dash to your side.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry, I thought you were an animal.” He crouched down by your side and hovered his hands around the offending object.

“Why on earth did you think I was an animal?” You nearly cursed him then and there. 

It hurt. It hurt and hurt and he wasn’t doing anything!

“I heard a growl.” He admitted, a bright blush on his face.

“No, that was me and my stomach. I’m hungry man! I was just checking if those berries were edible.” You growled and tried to move over but your leg wouldn’t cooperate without sending bouts of burning static up to your hip.

“That was a crap shot anyway. It wouldn’t have taken the animal down regardless.” Wild muttered to himself.

“Excuse you but I’m the one who was shot. Take it out!”

“Ok, ok, ok, hold on.” He placed a bracing hand on your leg and grip the arrow in the other. “Deep breath. Ready? One. Two.”

“OUCH! YOU SICK, TWISTED, SON OF A-”

“Here.” Wild handed you a potion. You recognized it as a healing item of his, even if the bottle was wrong and uncorked it, gulping it down with vigor.

“You owe me Champion.” You crossed your arms when you finished, handing the bottle back to him. 

“I’ll cook you something. Anything you want.” He nervously scratched the back of his head. “Those berries aren’t edible anyway.”

You blinked at him and the berries, not pouting at all. Your glare hardened at the plant. “I blame you.”

“The plant?”

“I just wanted to eat something!”

Legend

You couldn’t believe it.

There he was, sleeping in your bedroll.

You were tired as it was and didn’t have the energy to put up with it. Instead of anger though...It was mostly confusion.

Why was Legend asleep in your bed roll?

Was he really that tired that he just didn’t care? Probably. The nightmares were bad the night before and he was working nonstop the whole day.

You couldn’t fully blame him. He probably didn’t even notice.

Still.

You were exhausted as well and you refused to take his spot.

You walked over and shook his shoulder.

BAM

You stumbled backwards and eventually fell over, your hands covering your face. 

Legend sat up blearily and blinked for a solid minute before realizing his fist was still raised. 

“Legend!” You yelled at him. “What the heck man? You can’t punch to save your life!”

“What?”

“That’s my bedroll, dumb bell. I would like to sleep please.” You crossed your arms and stared him down. “Also, I’m telling Twilight you can’t punch for crap.”

Legend pushed himself up and looked beneath him. “Oh. Sorry. Wait. What about my punching?”

”You suck at it.”

He glared at you for a moment before taking a swing in your direction.

You dodged it easily and grinned. “Your form definitely needs work.”

“Shut up!”

Part 2

[maulusque]

Clone genetic enhancement ideas

So the clones were genetically enhanced, but i don’t really see any writers (in fanfic or in published stuff) really exploring what that MEANS beyond “clone very stronk”. Here are some ideas that would actually make clones significantly different from just a regular-ass human in peak condition. 

-enhanced senses: eyesight, hearing, etc. I’m talking eyes like a HAWK

-better reflexes

-quicker information processing

-can hear sounds of higher and lower frequency than standard humans

-can see light of a broader spectrum than human standard

-learn quicker, retain information and skills better (potential problem: if you learn something the WRONG way, that way might stick really well)

-photographic memory (really useful for memorizing layouts and maps)

-immunity to various diseases

-can tolerate a wider range of temperatures and environments

-increased stamina and strength baseline. Clones can just run full-tilt for hours and hours and be like “ah a nice stroll”. Over long distances, they can out-pace jedi in the same way that humans can out-pace horses.

-higher tolerance of certain poisons/toxins (clones can straight-up drink ethanol, and get maybe a little tipsy)

-bodies respond quickly to physical stress, and slowly to the absence of it (basically, this means that physical conditioning results in stronger muscles and a stronger cardiovascular system really quickly, and it takes MUCH longer for a clone to lose strength and conditioning due to not exercising than standard humans. Think how much valuable training time is saved if they only have to go on a run like, once a month in order to stay in shape)

-increased ability to function through intense pain and acute injuries. Basically, semi-disabling the pain system so it’s less distracting. Probably not good for the survival of the individual in many situations, but an advantage on the battlefield. 

-heal faster and better, with fewer long-term complications. Clones can dislocate their shoulders and NOT have the joint be permanently fucked up, because the Kaminoans re-designed the whole damn thing to suck WAY less.

-actually, unique internal anatomy. There’s probably a lot about the human body besides the shoulder joint that is actually just really stupid, and something no intelligent designer would actually build. So the Kaminoans can fix a lot of that stuff. Better knees, maybe. Stronger ribs. Maybe Cody punches droids not just because he’s a mad bastard, but also because his metatarsals are literally as strong as steel. 

-Hearing loss/hearing damage? No problem, your ear can regrow those little hair-thingies that help you hear. 

-Of course, it takes energy to maintain muscle mass, which is why human bodies lose it if we’re not using it. Clones need significantly more calories than standard humans. However, their digestive systems are enhanced to extract calories and nutrients from food much more efficiently, so food goes much farther. Potential weird side effect: maybe clones only have to poop like, once a week?

-You could probably extend that into increased ability to tolerate long periods without food/on low rations, despite the increased need for calories. 

-wouldn’t it be NEAT if the kaminoans somehow designed self-repairing DNA. This would mean that others couldn’t take a DNA sample from a clone and modify it to create their own clones (basically, it protects their product. It’s like DRM for clones). This ALSO means that clones couldn’t get cancer, and that they’d be immune to radiation poisoning. So a clone could just walk up to a sphere of uranium at critical mass and pick it up. Maybe with oven mitts on if it’s hot. (this would also make it harder for a rapid-aging cure to be developed, but uhhhh fanfic writers find a way)

- “bred for obedience” I think most of this would have to be accomplished through tightly-controlled messaging and cultural norms as the clones grow up- basically, enshrining obedience as a desirable and almost sacred trait, to be prized higher than anything else, including the lives of your brothers. In the same way that we hear stories of people sacrificing their lives to protect their loved ones, the clones would grow up hearing stories of soldiers sacrificing their brothers’ lives to obey an order from a superior. 

-SOME of the “obedience” thing could be engineered, though. Humans are already super social, but it would probably make sense for the clones to have an even greater need for social bonds. This would make for greater teamwork and coordination, and better unit cohesion, since the clones would be more inclined to prioritize friendship/agreeing with someone over winning an argument. It would also make it so they’d bond with their natural-born generals more easily, so they would obey them not just because they’re supposed to, but because they’d be much quicker to see them as a friend, and someone who’s trust they want to earn, someone they want to incorporate into their group and make happy.

-consequently, clones who find themselves alone do NOT do well. Isolation has a much more profoundly negative impact on clones than on regular humans.

-Originally, clones designed to operate alone or in small teams would not have the social enhancement- ARC troopers, spec-ops teams, etc. There wouldn’t be much of a noticeable difference in everyday interactions, but they’d also be vaguely weirded out by what they interpret as aggressive friendliness from their brothers, and their brothers would think they’re a bit shy and standoffish. 

-actually this social modification would make it MUCH harder for clones to kill people. REGULAR HUMANS are already super bad at killing people- i remember reading this article about how as soon as soldiers have to point their weapons at actual people, their aim gets mysteriously much shittier. Even when compared to situations that are exactly the same, except they’re not shooting at other humans. So reconcile this how you will, idk.

-I imagine a lot of these enhancements would be accomplished not through DNA, but through microorganisms. Retroviruses could explain the DNA resistant to modification, and the increased healing speed, and possibly some disease resistance (do i know anything about retroviruses other than a vague concept of what they are? no i do not. will that stop me? also no.) Their metabolism can be partially explained through specially engineered gut microbes.

-not sure how they’d go about making clones “resistant to any stress”, because you can’t exactly turn off the trauma response in the brain without breaking a bunch of other things. They could probably do a bit of fiddling to make clones more resistant to chemical imbalances, and therefore more depression-resistant. I think most of the “stress-resistance” would have to come through training. Either they train the clones to basically suppress everything, which might work alright in the short term. OR they actually have systems in place that help prevent the development of things like PTSD and help treat trauma. Meaning the clones are literally trained in self-care, positive self-talk, talking about their pain with their brothers, and having community rituals around things like death and grief. I don’t think that’s super likely because one thing that’s integral to those concepts is the concept of “i am a person and i have worth, and if i feel angry about something bad happening, that is ok and valid” and considering that a whole lot of bad things happen to the clones all the time and their childhood is a whole boatload of bad all happening at once, i don’t think the kaminoans would want the clones realizing “hey wait a minute i’m a person and i don’t deserve to be treated this way and it’s ok for me to be mad at you”. 

- the clones were supposedly engineered to be “less aggressive” but i think there was literally nothing more to that than a cover story for the control chip. The clones wouldn’t be raised with a lot of the aggressive western concept of masculinity, where anger is the default reaction to like, everything, and your personal pride is extremely important and also fragile (no offense lmao). So you wouldn’t have clones posturing and getting angry over perceived slights and fighting each other all the time, like everyone in-universe apparently expects to be the case. Anyway, why would you want your soldiers to be less aggressive? they’re literally supposed to fight and kill the enemy. You want them fully capable of getting angry, anger is the human response to fear and danger that lets us DO something about it. 

-obviously the biggest component in how they behave would be how they are raised, but that’s an entirely different post

-Specializations! I imagine that initially, the Kaminoans had different clones with different traits engineered specifically to fill certain roles. However, as the war went on, they struggled to keep up with demand and had to start shoving clones into whatever roles were needed (hence Fives and Echo becoming ARCs, despite not being engineered as ARC troopers). 

-Command clones would have better abilities in the executive function parts of the brain that deal with extrapolation, planning ahead, spatial reasoning, etc. They’d also have increased visual pattern recognition (like a pigeon)

-search-and-rescue troops would also have the pigeon pattern recognition abilities. The coast guard literally strapped pigeons to helicopters who would tap a button when they saw orange in the water, because they were better at spotting it than humans. Pigeons can detect cancer in microscope images of cells, because they’re that good at pattern recognition

-Pilots would have hella reflexes, excellent spatial awareness and spatial reasoning skills, much greater ability to process visual information, stronger hearts and blood vessels (to resist greater Gs of force), and they’d also be much shorter, to better fit into a cockpit. Which reminds me of Axe, that poor bastard from Ahsoka’s squadron over Ryloth who was almost eight feet tall. rip poor Axe, how did you even become a pilot, you long bastard.

-medics who can smell certain diseases. If you want to get a little bit out there, make the medics able to purr so they can sooth stressed-out patients. 

-infantry would have even greater endurance than everyone else, as well as greater tolerance for, and ability to, remain constantly on alert.

-ability to fall asleep at will? that would be super dope.

-maybe more efficient sleep, so to an adult clone, 4 hours of sleep is genuinely sufficient.

-concept: clones can sort of turn down their bodily functions- slow their digestion, heart, lungs, the whole nine yards- to last longer in adverse conditions. Sort of a half-hibernation (or quarter hibernation- they’d still be able to talk and think, but they’d feel very lethargic). They wouldn’t be able to function very well, but it would be great for things like enduring intense cold, periods without food, low-oxygen environments, and it would be especially useful if you were wounded and waiting for help, since you could slow your circulation, meaning it would take you a lot longer to bleed out. This state could be triggered by a combination of physical actions such as sitting or lying still, breathing slowly and deeply, and focusing on slowing the heart down (humans can actually slow down their hearts consciously if you practice at it, this is basically that, but turned up to like 1100).

-one thing that never made sense to me was the whole “we’re running out of jango fett’s DNA, all the new clones won’t be as good, and we have to stop ventress from stealing the original DNA” because like, can’t they just, get the EXACT SAME DNA from the clones?? you know, the exact genetic copies? With all the enhancements already done? But now my idea is that the kaminoans have engineered the clones so their DNA straight up can’t be copied. The clone’s own body can obviously replicate it, but if you take a sample and try to extract the DNA, it just self-destructs or something. This is to protect their intellectual property, but also means that they literally have to use a couple of Jango Fett’s actual human cells for every single clone they make (and the fact that they then have to do all the above enhancements to every single embryo helps explain why there’s so many small mutations, such as hair color and height). So they kinda shot themselves in the foot with that one. 

-of course since things like ADHD and autism have a strong genetic component, the kaminoans could theoretically engineer those out of the clones, but actually FUCK THAT so for whatever reason, that’s just not something they are able to do, and neurodivergent clones are absolutely a thing

[ijustwant2write]

The First Boyfriend-John Shelby x Reader

(GIF credit to @ilovna​)

Requested by anonymous: ‘Hey when u have the time can you please do a John Shelby imagine where they are married they have been since they were young and Katie their oldest child she’s like 14 or 13 she want to bring a boy to meet her parents and y/n has to calm John down and tell him to give the boy a chance and they they do finally meet him he seems ok but then he starts being all Percy towards y/n and John gets protective and y/n gives him permission to kick him out . Hope it makes sense 😂❤️’

Characters: John Shelby x Reader (Married), Katie Shelby x Reader (Daughter)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Swearing, age gap between teenagers, violence, inappropriate touching, fluff

                                      *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I groaned as I heard a thump come from upstairs, the kids screaming at each other as they bickered. Looking down at the washing up, I decided to leave them for now, they could sort it between themselves. That was, until there was a louder thud, and all of them were screaming. I dried my hands on a tea towel, checking on the pie in the oven before stomping my way upstairs. That always freaked out the children, they knew they were in for a telling off.

“Right,” I announced my presence in the boys room, where the younger girls were also playing,“what is all of this racket?”

“He snatched the toys away from me!”

“She hit me!”

“She said a naughty word!”

“He pulled my hair!”

Everyone shouted over each other, meaning I got nowhere close to an actual answer.

“Alright!” I snapped.“Before you all yell at me again, this is what we’re going to do. Girls, go back to your room, boys you stay in here. You will wait in those rooms until I call you for your baths.”

They all groaned, none of them ever liked bath time, it took valuable time away from their playing. 

“I will have none of that, do as I say.” the children made an act of slumping around, the girls dragging their feet as they walked past me.“I love you all.”

They murmured ‘I love you too’ before the doors to their rooms shut, and I laughed under my breath. They certainly had their father’s dramatics and unfortunately, both of our stubborn tendencies. As I headed back downstairs, the front door opened, John waltzing in and smirking as he spotted me.

“Now this is a pleasant greeting.” he cockily said as I got to the last step, wrapping his arms around my waist.

I cupped his face in my hands, leaning down to welcome him with a kiss.“Thought you would be at the Garrison.”

“You say that like I’m there every night.”

I raised an eyebrow at him, before we both laughed.“Just got to bathe the children, then we can eat.”

His eye line was at a perfect height to stare at my breasts, and he made a point of it.“And what’s on the menu tonight?”

I scoffed, raising his chin to look me in the eyes.“Pie. And that’s it.”

“We’ll see about that.”

The door opened again, this time Katie walking in. She made a disgusted face at the sight of her parents showing love for one another.

“Ah good, you’re back on time for once. You can help me with you brothers and sisters.”

“Alright.” she replied, intending to head towards the front room when I stopped her.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“What? Nothing.”

“There must be, you didn’t protest or huff at me when I asked you to do something.”

“Come on, spit it out.” John pushed.

“It’s nothing, really!”

“Katie, we can do this all day. Perhaps you should have less time out with your mates-”

“Fine!” Katie quickly gave in, which was unusual for her.“I...I have a boyfriend.”

“You what?”

“His name is James, he’s really nice! I’ve been seeing him for a while-”

“How long’s a while?”

“Uh, three weeks, maybe four.”

John’s jaw dropped, looking at me with wide eyes before going back to Katie.“Three weeks?!”

“I said maybe four.”

“Well it certainly won’t go to five.”

“Dad!”

“No Katie, he’s just a crush.”

“He’s not! I promise I really like him!”

“But how much does he like you? How do you know what his intentions are?”

“OK police inspector,” I patted him on the chest as I stood between them,“calm down, both of you. Now, Katie obviously like this boy, so we have to respect that. But Katie, you know you have to be careful around boys.”

“Yes, I remember you saying. I was wondering...could he maybe come round for dinner one night?”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, he liked the idea too. It’ll mean you can get to know him, then you know I’m safe.”

“I think that’s a lovely idea Katie.”

“What?!” John exclaimed.

“John.” I warned him.“You arrange it with him, perhaps sometime next week?”

“Thanks mum!” Katie beamed, giving me a quick hug.

“That’s alright darling. Now, go get your brother’s and sister’s ready for their baths whilst I draw it.”

I kissed the top of her head before she rushed past her dad and up the stairs. I just laughed at John’s shocked expression, wondering how on Earth that all happened before him.

“Oh, Katie!” I quickly shouted.

“Yeah?” her head popped around the corner.

“How old is James?”

Her face dropped. She was still hiding something.“Um, he’s...he’s seventeen.”

“Excuse me?”

“He just turned seventeen! Got to go and do as you asked me!”

Right, that wasn’t the answer I was expecting. I slowly turned to face John, who had an extremely angry expression on his face.

“Seventeen?” he scowled.

“Yeah, I’m not happy about that either. But let’s give him a chance.”

“He’s fucking seventeen! He’s taking advantage of a fourteen year old!”

“Darling, calm down. Please, let’s see what he’s like. Not everyone was like you at seventeen.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“They weren’t all as charming as you.” I quickly saved, though he knew what I meant.“If he’s a little shit, we can stop her from seeing him.”

“Or stop him from seeing her.”

“John, do not traumatize that boy.”

“No promises.”

John had not been in a great mood for the rest of the week. He was constantly fussing over Katie, questioning her left, right and centre about anything he could think of. She was getting frustrated, she couldn’t even pop out to buy us bread without John asking if she had seen James on the way. I tried to stop him, but he was so persistent. He was only being like this because he wanted to protect his little girl, he knew what boys were like at that age. I was worried about the age gap. It wasn’t much, but Katie was still so young, only just becoming a teenager, whereas this boy was a year away from being an adult. I only hoped he would prove us wrong at this dinner.

We had scheduled the dinner for the following week, and the day was already upon us. Katie and I had been preparing a meal all day, feeding the kids before us so they wouldn’t act up or take my attention away. Katie was dressed in her best dress, hair pinned back with a nervous smile on her face. However, John was no where to be seen. He had been gone all day, he was at work, but I hoped he hadn’t been snatched away for Blinder business. Katie stressed over this, sitting by the window on the lookout for him. 

“He’s here!” Katie announced, dashing through to the kitchen.

“Your dad?” I asked, wiping my hands on my apron.

“No, James! Why does dad always have to ruin everything?!” 

“Hey, look at me,” I grabbed her by the shoulders,“it will all be fine. Let him him, we will start talking and just excuse your dad. He will be here Katie.”

I pushed her towards the door, taking off my apron and making sure everything was in order; when really, I was stopping myself from rushing out and bombarding the boy.

“Mum,” Katie called me, and I stepped out of the kitchen,“this is James. James, this is my mum.”

“Pleasure to meet you Mrs Shelby.” he politely took my hand, and I thought he was going to shake it, but instead kissed it, keeping eye contact for a little too long.

“You too James.” I smiled, wondering if he was just trying to make a good impression.“Katie’s dad isn’t home from work yet, but we can sit in the front room whilst we wait.”

We engaged in small talk, me asking about his life and if he had a job. He was a good speaker, no stuttering or wondering what to say next. So far, so good. Katie hung onto to his every word, it was a wonder her cheeks weren’t hurting from smiling so much. However, some things James said were a little...I didn’t know how to put it, but the way he spoke was as if he was wooing me, he would sometimes wink, or make a suggestive joke, which would fly over Katie’s head. I was starting to side with John, this young boy made me uncomfortable.

Another hour passed, still no sign of John, and if we didn’t eat soon, the food would burn. I tried waiting for a little longer, but I could tell Katie was starting to worry again. So I suggested we start eating without him, not having to explain why John was late. James would have to be an idiot to not know who her father was. We had only been eating for ten minutes when the back door opened, John walking into the kitchen as he took off his Peaky cap.

“Couldn’t wait for me then?” John said, no humour in his voice.

“It’s nice to meet you Mr Shelby.” James stood respectfully, ready to shake John’s hand, but he didn’t take it. I wanted to scold him for that. 

James hesitantly sat back down. John took off his coat, hanging it on the back of the door, making a show of unbuckling his jacket, which revealed his guns in the holster. I rolled my eyes, this boy was only seventeen, and not one his enemies. He sat down beside me, which happened to be opposite James, a stupid mistake I should have seen coming.

“What have I missed?” John asked as he tucked into his food.

“I’ve been getting to know James, so he’s probably going to have to repeat everything again to you.” I joked.

“Go on then.” 

Silence.

“Go on, tell me what you told my wife.”

"Dad." Katie hissed.

"It's alright Katie." James placed his hand over hers, and I caught the sight of John tensing up, nostrils flaring."I was just explaining how I'm working now, earning quite a bit actually. Finished school too, so I'm not an idiot."

"My brother, Katie's uncle, didn't finish school. You calling him an idiot?" John leaned back in his chair.

"N-no, Mr Shelby. I just meant that-"

"You just meant to keep your mouth shut."

"John, a word."

I stood up from my chair, walking towards the door and waiting for John there. He stared at James as he slowly got up, reluctantly following. I shut the door after us, shoving John towards the front room.

"Whats wrong with you?" I snapped.

"Why did we leave them alone?" he realised."Make it quick, he could be doing anything to her in there."

"Oh my god, John. They're teenagers but they're not stupid. Could you just give him a chance? Please?"

He huffed."I don't trust him."

"Of course you don't. He's the first boy Katie has brought home. She might end up bringing more-"

"No. No she won't."

"John, can you just relax? If we get through this dinner quick enough, he'll be gone."

"Let's just get back in there."

I moaned to myself, quickly going after him. We sat back down, Katie and James had been silent when we walked in. I cleared my throat as the silence continued, starting to ear again and hoping the others would copy. Luckily they did, we were able to make small talk, though John didn't participate.

Once we were done, I collected the plates with Katie, telling her she didn't have to help with the washing up. I thought she would be able to spend time with James (and keep her father away from the poor boy), however, James offered to help me instead. At first I was about to tell him that it was nonsense, until I saw John waiting by the front room, his eyes still set on James as Katie tried to drag him away. 

“I’m sorry about my husband. He’s very...protective of his children.” I said as I passed him a plate to dry.

“I understand Mrs Shelby. He’s got a beautiful family to look after.”

“Aw, that’s very sweet of you to say.”

“A very beautiful family.”

I didn’t like the way he was looking at me. The comment before was lovely, but now he seemed to be suggesting something. Being almost an adult, he was the same height as me, if not slightly taller, and I wasn’t sure how to continue the conversation.

“I could instantly tell where Katie got her looks from, though I must say, the original is always better than the copy.”

Who did this little shit think he was?

“Honestly James, you don’t have to be stuck drying the dishes. Go spend time with Katie.”

“I’m quite enjoying myself here, actually.”

This was weird. At first, I thought maybe he was being over friendly, knowing that his girlfriend was a Shelby and her father was a Peaky Blinder; or perhaps he had some alcohol to fuel his confidence. But now I could sense he was here for something else, as if he ever had a chance.

“Oh, this one is still a bit dirty.” he pointed out.

He walked behind me to place it on the other side of the sink to be cleaned again, however, he pushed his body into mine behind me, and I froze at the action out of shock. His breath was fanning on my breath as he slowly placed the plate down, hand sliding up my arm to my elbow, before tracing across my lower back as he moved away again. I dropped the plate I was washing into the sink, picking up a knife beside me and pointing it at him.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” I snapped under my breath. It pissed me off that he didn’t look bothered by my threat.

“Just appreciating what’s in front of me.” he cockily replied.

“You have no respect for anyone, do you? I want you out of my house, now.”

“And break Katie’s little heart? Don’t think she would be too pleased by that.”

“She’ll be happy to know I got rid of a pervert. You;re never to go near her again.”

“You sound like your husband. Katie has been complaining about you two for weeks. She’ll only listen to me, and I’ll deny whatever you tell her. And how would your husband feel knowing we had this moment?”

“He’ll want to cut your balls off.”

“You know, I wasn’t sure if I was absolutely into you when I walked in. You’re beautiful of course, but the foul language...I don’t know, something about it is quite exciting.”

I chucked the knife into the sink, storming past the bastard and out of the kitchen, until I noticed the door was slightly open. I hadn’t left it like that. Continuing on, I took a big, deep breath before walking into the front room. John (unsurprisingly) had a glass of whiskey in hand as he sat in his chair, Katie sitting on the longer sofa, seeming upset.

“You saw, didn’t you?” I asked her.

She nodded, her eyes glued on the floor, they were glassed over.

“Did he touch you?” John snarled.

I sighed.“He...he did but-”

“That’s all I need to hear.” 

He put down his drink, making a beeline for the kitchen. I stood in the doorway of the front room, shielding Katie from what was about to happen. James yelled out in protest as John roughly dragged him out of the house. I watched as he literally threw the boy outside onto the street, people wanting to watch but also not wanting to be involved. 

“You stay the fuck away from my family. You’re lucky I don’t cut you, or do something worse. Watch your fucking back boy.”

Although I enjoyed the fear in James’ eyes, I wish he had the same look when I dealt with him. John slammed the door, causing the pictures on the wall to shake. Katie ran upstairs, upset that the boy she liked wasn’t as respectful or lovely as she thought he was. I decided to leave her for the time being, everyone needed to calm down.

“Are you alright?” John asked me, still breathing heavy.

“Yes, thank you for getting rid of him.” I sighed, wrapping my arms around him.

He embraced me, trying to calm himself down.“I love you. I won’t ever let anyone else touch you like that again.”

“I know you won’t. I’m sorry I didn’t listen before.”

“Nah, I was being over protective. He just turned out to be a twat.”

“But he’s gone now. And he won’t go near Katie again. Just know, she might be crying for a few days.”

“I’ll let you deal with that.”

[procrastinatingsapphictrash]

Migraines

Word count: 1679

Genre: Hurt/comfort 

Pairings: Natasha x fem!reader, platonic avengers x fem!reader

Warnings: Some swearing (let me know if I need to add more)

Request: hi~ was wondering if you’d do a natasha x reader with a dash of platonic avengers when reader has chronic migraines but hasn’t told nat so ends up in random places to try and sleep them away and the others keep finding her and then nat figures out she’s hiding something and feels hurt but ends fluffy wanting to take care of reader next time? you can choose who and change any part you want!

Summary: Reader gets really bad migraines and is constantly being found by the team when she wants to be alone, however her girlfriend Natasha doesn’t know what’s going on. 

A/n: This request was for @casperlikej​ so I hope you like it! Also I would like to mention that I know next to nothing about migraines so this probably won’t be super accurate but hopefully it’s ok to read anyways. I’m queuing this to come out on Sunday so that over the weekend I can work on the friends to enemies to lovers three part series and get that out soon (no I have not forgotten about that request). I am only like a sixth into that series but so far I’m super proud of it so I can’t wait to get it done! Also if anyone has ideas, feel free to request anything because I like having multiple fic ideas to think of at all times. Anyways I’m rambling now but I hope you enjoy this fic!

You hated being away from Natasha because although you had only been together for a few months and only known her for half a year you were sure you loved her but sometimes you just couldn’t stand pretending to be okay in front of her so you would hide yourself away. Currently your favourite place to hide was a nice rocking chair near the medbay area that was tucked away in the corner of a room. Barely anyone ever went by and the few that did never seemed to notice, giving you the anonymously you needed in order to curl up with your head in your knees and try to calm your head down. 

“Y/n? What are you doing here?” You hear Tony’s voice ask and you startle. 

“Oh, um, I’m just spending time with myself.” You respond lamely as Tony raises an eyebrow. 

“You never spend time by yourself,” he points out, “whenever you want to get away from us you always spend time with Natasha.” 

“I am alone sometimes.” You say starting to get annoyed. 

He scoffs. “No you aren’t, is everything ok between you two?”

“Everything is fine, just leave!” You snap at him. He hesitates in leaving the room but ultimately goes without saying another word after seeing how intensely you started glaring at him. It takes longer than usual for your migraine to go away because usually staying level headed helped but at least you yelling got Tony out of the room and to stop asking questions.

---

It was only a few days later that you got another migraine. You excuse yourself from the room you were sitting in with Bruce, Tony and Nat, mumbling some bullshit about needing to go to the store and ignoring Tony’s worried look on your way out. You knew that Tony would come looking for you in your old place so you decide to hole up in the room near the pad Thor uses whenever he visits earth. Today wasn’t a very bad migraine because you were able to catch the signs early but it still takes slightly over an hour for your head to stop pounding. You’re about to leave the room and go back to find the others but just to your luck Thor happens to arrive today unscheduled, something that only happens every few weeks. 

“Lady Y/l/n!” his voice booms happily as he steps inside, “it’s so good to see you, but what are you doing here, I wasn’t aware I had informed anyone of my arrival.”

You laugh slightly at his formal way of speaking and confused expression. “You didn’t, I just happened to be here because I was trying to be alone for awhile.”

“Are you feeling unwell?” He asks, looking concerned. 

“Not at all,” you reassure him, “in fact I was just about to go back to the others when you arrived, shall we find them together?” He nods eagerly, holding out his arm for you to hook onto like a true gentleman.

---

The next time you try to hide away you’re talking to Steve and he isn’t getting your subtle cues that you want to leave so he just keeps talking. You think he is talking about some sort of mission but honestly you don’t know because it physically hurts your brain to pay attention. You want to yell at him so badly but you can’t bring yourself to because he isn't trying to hurt you at all and he’s too nice to be angry at. 

“You agree Y/n?” You manage to make out. 

“Yes.” You say, not knowing what you’re even agreeing to.

“Great, I’ll go talk to the others, see you tomorrow for the morning training!” He says before walking off. You groan out loud as soon as you can no longer see him, partly because of how much your head hurts and partly because you accidentally told Steve that morning training was a good idea. This time you just plop yourself on the nearest couch and hope nobody finds you. 

---

You stumble into Bruce’s lab calling out for him. It had been over a week since your last migraine and encounter with Steve, one of the longest breaks you’ve had within recent memory but that came back to bite you in the ass when today’s was worse than ever before, even blurring your vision a little because of the pain. 

Bruce stands up from behind a pile of boxes. “Y/n, what brings you here.” 

“Pain meds now.” You order in a weak voice. He looks curious but doesn’t question you, heading towards a back cabinet and pulling out a bottle of pills. You immediately take two and swallow, ignoring him scolding you that you should only take one. Luckily since Bruce invented them himself it only took about five minutes for them to kick in. 

“Sorry, I had a really bad headache.” You tell him which is a half truth. 

He looks at you in concern. “Are you sure that was only a headache? It looked bad.” 

You wave him off, heading towards the door because you didn’t want him to ask anymore questions. “I’m fine Brucie, thanks again!” He sighs and shakes his head as he watches you leave, worried but deciding it’s not his place to badger you about it. 

---

Since every time you got a migraine you always ended up around one of the others you made a plan so that you could avoid everyone because you knew that one day your luck was going to end and Natasha would be the one to find you. You knew that she wouldn’t be mad at you or anything since you can’t control them but the relationship is still new and you don’t want to badger her with any of your problems. 

That’s why as soon as you start to feel a migraine coming on you hoist yourself up into the vents above your (sort of) shared room with Natasha where you had left a blanket and some pillows to relax with… only to find Clint waiting for you there. 

“I was wondering who had left these up there.” He says, seeming like it was a perfectly natural thing for him to be in the vents above your room. You decide not to question it, only sighing because you know that conversation would take up too many thoughts that you don’t have space for right now. You’re just so fucking done with your migraines and want them to go away. 

Clint notices your sadden expression and is serious for once. “Y/n, what’s going on?”

“I get these stupid fucking migraines and it only seems to be getting worse and I don’t want anyone to think I’m weak and I want Natasha but I don’t want to bother her with my problems.” You unload, holding back tears.

“I’m not going to lie to you, I don’t know how to make you feel better,” he confesses, “however why don’t you try to take a nap in your own bed and if you really don’t want Tasha to find you I can keep her distracted.” You nod and he helps you back out of the vents, climbing down after you. 

“Clint?” you say as he’s leaving the room and he turns around, “thanks.”

---

Clint makes his way to the common room where he sees Steve talking to Natasha. 

“Hey guys, what’s up?” He asks with a smile, faltering when he sees Natasha looks upset. “Nat, what’s wrong?”

“I think Y/n is going to break up with me.” She says, her voice thick with emotion. 

Steve frowns. “I told you not to jump to conclusions, maybe you should just talk to her.” Natasha just shakes her head, looking down and taking a deep breath, trying to regulate her emotions. 

“Y/n’s going to hate me for this,” Clint says as two pairs of eyes turn to him, “but you should go to your room, I promise that she’s not planning on breaking up with you.” 

Natasha noticeably brightens. “Are you sure?”

Clint nods. “I’m sure, she said not even five minutes ago that she wanted you. She’s going through some shit right now that you should talk to her about but she wouldn’t break up with you.” 

“Thanks.” Natasha replies, before hurrying to your shared room, worried about you after what Clint said. 

---

You curl up on the bed and let a few tears fall out and before long you are full on sobbing. You always try to stay strong and not cry but you just can’t deal with the migraines anymore. The bed shifts behind you and you sit up straight looking behind you. Natasha is climbing on to it and looking at you with a worried expression on her face. 

“I thought Clint was going to keep you busy.” You say, sniffling to try to stop your tears.

“He must have lied because he told me to come here.” She responds. 

“He’s an asshole.” 

She gives a small laugh. “Normally yes, but he did the right thing, I want to help you with whatever is upsetting you.” 

“You shouldn’t have to deal with me like this,” you tell her, “my migraines are my problem that I have to deal with.” 

She moves across the bed and puts her arms around you. “No sweetheart, I’m here with you.” You start to cry again, this time while it’s slightly from the pain it’s mostly because you feel so overwhelmed with how much she supports you. She pulls you in tightly to her chest, and plants a kiss on the top of your head. 

“I will always be here for you if you need something ok?” she says. “But now you need to rest.” 

“But-” you start to protest before she cuts you off. 

“No buts, you need sleep.” She says while shushing you. You wiggle back, trying to be as far into arms as possible before you slowly drift off, the pain of the migraine going away and all you can feel is warmth.

---

Taglist: @fayhar @stephanieromanoff @stop-drop-and-drumroll @acertainredhead​ (if you want to be added, comment, send an ask, or message me)

[babymetaldoll]

DIWK - Chapter six: "I don't know everything, despite the fact you think that I do"

My gif

Word count: 12,6K

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of drug use, drug detox, physical violence. Spencer being a jerk.

Summary: (Y/N) had enough of Spencer's attitude and plans an intervention on her own.

A/N: Hello! how are you? how's your week going? my life is a mess and I'm fighting with a lot of anxiety and stress after the month I spent with my grandparents, so I've been taking everything with calm in the latest days. I hope you all enjoy this chapter! Spencer is... and then reader... ok, read it, and see you in the comments! Stay safe, kids!!!

Series Masterlist

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen |

───※ ·❆· ※───

(Y/N)'s point of view

After New Orleans, I thought things were starting to get a little better. For a few days, Spencer was a lot like himself again. It was refreshing and exciting. He smiled. He even looked like he had slept. And he wasn't rude. Not at first. Not until that Friday.

- "Hey, pretty girl"- Morgan appeared next to my desk and tapped on the pile of files I was working on- Got any plans for tonight?

- "I was actually going to meet my boyfriend. Why? What do you have in mind?"

Yes. Paul and I had a date, 'cos I hadn't seen him in two weeks. We had spent San Valentine's apart, 'cos we were out on a case. And I barely noticed it. I didn't have my hopes high for that night, though. Maybe pizza, a movie... I didn't feel like having sex, even when it had been over a month since we had done it.

- "I'm clubbing tonight, and I know you are a party girl. So, do you wanna come with me?"

- "As tempting as it sounds, I pass"- I smiled at my friend and shook my head- "All I can do today is have a quiet evening, eat something, watch a movie and then call it a day."

- "Are you sure? 'cos Emily is on board, and you two are my party sidekicks."- I chuckled and kept shaking my head- "Ok, alright. You lose. What about you, pretty boy?"

Spencer had been awfully quiet that whole afternoon. He was buried in his paperwork and only moved from his seat to get coffee.

- "Reid? are you listening?"- Morgan waved until he got his attention. But Spencer apparently didn't want to talk- "Hello? Earth to Reid."

- "What the hell do you want?"- I brought up my eyes to my best friend, 'cos his voice was as annoyed as rude.

- "Hey, hey, slow down, kid. What's your problem?"

- "I'm trying to work, and you don't let me! That's my problem!"- Morgan raised an eyebrow and took a deep break.

- "Ok, my bad."

Spencer glued his eyes on his files again, and I kept looking at him closely for a minute. He was fidgety on his chair. He kept scratching his arms, and he had flipped from human to whatever he was when he yelled at Morgan in a blink.

Of course, shit wasn't over yet.

- "Hey, do you want a ride home?"- I asked him and stood by his desk on my way out. He was getting ready to leave too.

- "I can take the subway on my own"- he talked to me like I was insulting him- "And I don't wanna get in the way of your fake date,"- he grumbled and put on his coat

- "Sorry, what?"- I wasn't sure I had gotten that right.

- "Yeah, you have a date with your boyfriend, and I don't want to get in the way."

- "What are you talking about, Reid?"- I couldn't believe his words. He was acting like a jerk.

- "You know, I don't get it"- he was mad. Furious. And he snapped in front of me, out of the blue- "Why are you still dating that jerk if you don't even love him? does he fuck you that good?"

I could see from the corner of my eye how every head in the bullpen turned to us. I looked at my best friend in the eyes and didn't say a word. I just nodded and grabbed my purse.

- "Enjoy your weekend, Reid."

I knew I didn't have to take those words personally. Spencer wasn't himself. But I was growing tired of justifying him in front of the team and myself. It was time for the big guns.

I tried to ease my mind that night, preparing myself for what I knew I had to do the next day. But I couldn't shake Reid from my thoughts. I needed to know what he was doing if he had dinner. If he was able to sleep. Shit! I needed to know if he was getting high all alone in his apartment.

What if he overdosed? What if he just decided to go a little further and his body couldn't resist it? He was too skinny. He wasn't eating correctly. Shit! He could die.

- "Hey, babe. Are you ok?"- Paul asked me all of a sudden. He was kissing my neck and trying to get under my shirt, and I wasn't even moving. I was thinking about Reid and how to help him. And meanwhile, my boyfriend was trying to have sex with me.

- "Sorry, what?"- I know, that wasn't a good answer.

- "Are you even here?"- he sighed and let me go- "Let me guess, you are thinking about a case."

- "No, I'm just worried about Reid."

I know. That wasn't a good answer either, considering Paul's angry face as soon as he heard his name. Paul hated Reid. Ok, Paul hated every single one of my friends, but he despised Spencer. He would almost see him as his sworn enemy, and they had seen each other in person twice in over a year.

- "Now you think about that nerd when we are making out?!"

- "What?! No! that's not what I meant!"- I tried to explain, but it was clear that wasn't going to work- "He is going through a tough time after the abduction and..."

- "Yeah, yeah"- he cut me off and stood up- "Everything about Spencer is more important than me! I don't wanna hear that shitty and sad kidnap story again!"

- "I'm just trying to say I am worried about him!"- I stood up and followed him around the apartment.

- "You are always worried about him!"

- "He is my friend. He is in pain!"

- "And what about me?! Do you even care about me?!"

- "Sure! of course, I do!"

I knew that was it all of a sudden. I didn't even want to argue with Paul, and neither explain to him how much I needed to help Reid. So I didn't say a word. I only stood in front of him. He brought up his eyes to me and sighed. It took him a few seconds to gather the courage to say what he wanted to say. But when he did, it wasn't good.

- "You are in love with him, aren't you?"

His question made my blood boil. I hated he made such a presumption only because I was worried about Spencer. I loved him, sure, but because he was my best friend. I was with him all day, every day. I saw him more than my own family. More than Lu, Mikey, or Frank. And I knew Reid was in pain and in real danger. Of course, Spencer was my priority.

- "No, Paul. I am not in love with him."- I looked right into his eyes and tried to make my point clear- "He is going through a shitty situation, and I wanna help him. That's all."

- "And do you love me?"

He had never asked me that before. We haven't talked about "love" in the whole year and a half we had been together. And, to be honest, I didn't want to lie. I didn't want to hurt him either, but it was the end of the line, and we both knew it.

- "Paul..."

- "That's a no,"- he said and folded his arms across his chest- "If you don't love me, why are you with me?"

- "Do you love me?"

- "Of course, I do!"- I raised an eyebrow and stared at him for a second - "Don't profile me!"

- "I'm not profiling you. I'm just sure you don't! And that's ok. Paul, we... This is not a relationship. It's two lonely persons holding onto something that didn't work."

We just stared at each other and didn't say a word for what seemed to be for ages.

- "Despite what you might think, I know you, (Y/N)"- he took a step closer to me and kissed my forehead- "And I know you love him."

- "Paul, I really don't. He is my friend, and I'm worried about him"- he simply nodded and sighed.

- "Sure thing. Take care"- started walking to the door and never looked back.

I stood alone in the middle of my apartment. That was it. The easiest breakup because neither of us was in love. And yet, I felt empty and sad. Tears started falling down my cheeks, and I didn't notice them until I was sobbing.

I wasn't sad I had lost Paul. I didn't understand where that emptiness and misery were coming from. Maybe it was grief for a relationship that was never meant to work. Perhaps I was sad because I had failed to maintain a relationship. After all, work had turned into my life. I was just like my father and my brother.

A part of me felt I was slowly turning into what I had fought not to be. And letting Paul might mean I was no longer the old (Y/N). And the new (Y/N) scared me: I was a Fed, I worked over 50 hours a week, and I had killed people. Bad people, but I had pulled the trigger. I knew I had the job of my dreams, and I knew I loved working at the BAU. But with every day that passed, I was walking further and further away from the version of me I loved.

And I was scared of what the new (Y/N) was going to be like. Was she going to be like her dad and lose her family due to her work? or like her brother? who couldn't have a normal life 'cos being a detective was more significant.

I knew we all made our own personal decisions, but a part of me felt it. We were all cut from the same cloth, and I was meant to grow old, alone, and the BAU was going to be my whole life until the day I retired, and the loneliness consumed me.

- "I need a drink."

Spencer's point of view

I took a cab home. I didn't want to take the subway because it would take longer to get there, and I couldn't wait that long. I needed one more fix.

I had been telling myself the same for a whole week now: Just one more. One last time.

But it never was the last time. Every night I failed, and that Friday, I was so eager to forget, I wasn't thinking straight. I snapped at Morgan and (Y/N), just 'cos I was going insane, craving Dilaudid.

After New Orleans, I decided to stop using it. And for two days, I did it. But, of course, I couldn't handle the need. That needle was going to be my end, and I was struggling every day to quit. It was impossible to stop on my own when I needed to quieten the pain somehow.

You don't know how much pain you are into until you numb yourself, and the weight of all your troubles and regrets is lifted from your chest. I knew it was eating me alive, but I had to be strong and quit. So, every day I tried. And every day, I failed. Just like that night, when I laid in bed and slowly unwrapped my belt from my arm, losing all connection with reality.

I had yelled at my friends, and they were probably angry at me. But shit! It was worth it. Nothing was even relevant as long as I could feel the relief Dilaudid gave me.

But it never lasted. And the following day, I regretted it all. I woke up dressed on my bed, a needle next to me and an empty bottle of Dilaudid by its side. Just like a junkie. Tears filled my arms as soon as I realized what had happened. What I had done: I had failed yet again.

My whole body was shaking. I needed to eat something. My last proper meal had been Thursday when (Y/N) and I stopped for dinner on our way back home. And I guess if it hadn't been for her, I wouldn't have eaten at all.

I took a long shower, trying to wash away the guilt. It's obvious to say it didn't work. But I consoled myself thinking last night had been the last time. That day I was going to be strong enough, and I was going to quit. I had decided. Nothing could stop me that time.

My breakfast was miserable: I made coffee and took a look in my fridge. Nothing. All I ate that morning was a bowl of cereal (without milk) and two cups of coffee and sugar. Sugar and coffee, actually, like everybody teased me.

I tried to read for a while, at a normal peace, because my head was still fuzzy. So I sat in my living room and grabbed a book from my coffee table: "The Illustrated Man."

After a few hours and four books later, my mind kept coming to the same place. I was out of Dilaudid. And it was a good thing, 'cos now I just wasn't going to get any more. That was it. I had officially quit. Yes. And I felt good. It was a new day, and I was ready to be clean and sober. So I made myself another cup of coffee to celebrate and took a look at my bookshelf. I picked another three books and sat on my armchair, ready to keep on reading. I didn't need drugs to be happy.

Around three in the afternoon, I couldn't stop moving on the couch as I read the sixth book of the day. I drank yet another cup of coffee, even when I knew what I really needed was to get some real food. But I didn't care to starve at that moment. There was only one thought in my mind: Getting high.

Maybe I wasn't ready to quit. I should try leaving it periodically. Actually, perhaps having a bottle around the house could help me ease my mind. Knowing it was there made me feel better. As good as using it.

I was going insane. I kept debating whether I should stay home or find my dealer and just get a little dose. Just enough for one more time. Maybe two. I kept walking around my apartment, creating excuses in my head to get high.

And that was when I heard a knock on my door. I stopped on my tracks, confused. I wasn't waiting for anyone, and I wouldn't really have many unannounced visits. So I walked silently towards the door and looked through the peephole.

- "Shit"- my voice was a whisper I prayed (Y/N) hadn't heard.

What was she doing there? Maybe she had come to talk about my attitude at the BAU. I had said some awful things, but that wasn't really a good moment. I didn't want to see her. I didn't want her to see me like this. I didn't want anyone to see me. So I didn't open the door.

But she knocked again. I didn't move and almost didn't breathe as I stood still by the door, waiting for her to leave. But she wasn't leaving. Instead, she kept knocking over and over again, driving me insane until I snapped.

- "What the fuck do you want?!"- I opened the door and yelled at her face. She widened her eyes, surprised, and didn't move.

- "You just came to stand there and look at me?- I shouted, and she flinched. She had to leave. I wanted her out of my house. But rather than leaving, she walked in and stood in the middle of the apartment.

- "What is wrong with you?"- she was making an effort to stay calm, but I could tell she was scared. She kept biting the inner part of her cheeks and crossed her arms on her chest. Was she scared of me?

- "Spencer, why are you acting like this?"

- "What the fuck is your problem, (Y/N)? Why are you in my house uninvited?!"

- "I called you like three times. I wanted to invite you to my house for dinner, but you didn't answer, so I got worried."

- "As you can see, I'm fine! And no, I don't wanna go to your house for dinner!"

Her eyes were wide opened, staring right into mine, and I swear it physically hurt to see her. She shouldn't be there. I needed her out. I didn't want her to see me like that, and I needed to get out and get some more Dilaudid. Now more than ever.

- "I'm making lasagna"- (Y/N) whispered- "Mikey, Frank, and Lu are coming."

- "I don't care, I don't wanna go to your house, I don't wanna go anywhere! I'm fine here."

- "But, honey bunny..."

- "Stop calling me that!! I hate it!! It's a stupid nickname! I'm not your fucking honey bunny!!"

The silence in my apartment was so deep, I could hear my own heart racing inside my chest. (Y/N)'s eyes filled with tears that soon started falling down her cheeks. She dropped her shoulders, and her arms hung at her sides, slacks.

- "Please"- she begged- "Tell me what's wrong. I want to help you, Spencer."

- "There's nothing wrong! don't you get sometimes I don't want to be stuck at you?! I already have to see your face all day at work. I deserve a break during the few weekends we have off!"

- "I know you don't mean that"- her voice broke, and her chin trembled, but she still made her best not to cry.

- "You don't know that. You don't know shit, (Y/N)."

I stayed quiet and looked away from her. I couldn't stare at those sad eyes for another second.

- "Please, leave"- I managed to control my voice for a second, in a poor attempt not to hurt her anymore. But she shook her head and sniffed.

- "No, Spencer, I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong with you. I am worried."

- "There's nothing fucking wrong with me, (Y/N)! Don't you get it?! I just don't wanna be with you!"

- "Please"- she begged, sobbing in front of me. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't bear to see her anymore.

So I ruined everything and hurt her. I pushed her. She nearly fell back but managed to stabilize. She was shocked by my actions, but I didn't even have time to think about what I was doing. All I could think of that minute was that I needed her out of my house to buy drugs and get high.

- "Spencer, what the hell are you doing?"

- "I asked you nicely, but you didn't leave. So now I won't be nice anymore. Get out!!"

I grabbed her by the arm and pulled her out of my sight. She cried, pleading I would tell her what was wrong with me. But I didn't listen. Instead, I dragged her out of my apartment and slammed the door. I could hear her crying in the hall for a moment, and it enraged me. I thought if she was crying, she herself had caused it. She had appeared at my house at the wrong moment, unannounced.

It wasn't my fault. I just wanted her to leave. I did what I had to do.

And I didn't regret it.

Not until Sunday afternoon, when an announced knock on my door forced me to drag my stoned body from the couch. It was a delivery boy who gave me a package and left. It had nothing written on it. Not even my name. When I opened the box, I found a computer and a note.

- "Play me."

I knew I was still stoned, but not enough to be imagining those kinds of things. I took the laptop to the couch with me. There was a video ready to be played in it. So I pushed play.

- "What the fuck do you want?!"- my heart dropped. It was me, but I could barely recognize my own face- "You just came to stand there and look at me?"

It was a recording of me yelling at (Y/N). She had taped everything, and I couldn't believe my own eyes. I was a monster.

- "I'm making lasagna"- my chin quivered at that scene. Her voice was a whisper, and I was out of myself- "Mikey, Frank, and Lu are coming."

- "I don't care, I don't wanna go to your house, I don't wanna go anywhere! I'm fine here."

- "But honey bunny..."

- "Stop calling me that!! I hate it!! It's a stupid nickname! I'm not your fucking honey bunny!!"

I paused the video, 'cos I couldn't take it anymore. That wasn't me. I couldn't believe I had said all those things to her. It hurt (Y/N), so I could get drugs.

I covered my face with my hands and cried. I was done. Not only did I not know how to recover from my drug addiction, but I also didn't know how I could ever look at my best friend again in the eyes after what I had done.

I remembered she had cried, and I knew I had been mean. But when I saw the extreme hate in each one of my words, I knew I had reached rock bottom. I needed help.

After a few minutes, I pushed play again. I knew I needed to see the whole thing actually to understand what had happened.

- "Please, leave!!"

- "No! Spencer, I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong with you. I am worried."

- "There's nothing fucking wrong with me, (Y/N)! Don't you get it! I just don't wanna be with you!!"

- "Please... Spencer, no! What the hell are you doing?"

- "I asked you nicely, but you didn't leave. So now I won't be nice anymore. Get out!!"

I hit her. I pushed her. She was there to invite me for dinner, and I hurt her. Who was I? What kind of beast does such a thing to his best friend?

Who would do such a thing to the woman he loves.

I curled on the couch, crying. How could I let that happen? When did I turn into a downward version of myself? Ethan was right. I had been dumb enough to think I could control it when in reality, drugs were controlling me. I was losing who I was. I could lose my job. I was losing my friends.

I knew things had been hard for me growing up, but I had finally reached a point in my life where I was happy. I liked my life. I loved my job. For once, I had real friends, and I was making good, catching bad guys. I had actually fulfilled my dream to work at the BAU. So why was I wasting it all?

- "Spencer"- I heard (Y/N)'s voice at the end of the video and saw her face on the screen- "I am here if you need to talk. I'm not mad. I just wanna hug you. Please, call me. Let me help you."

But I couldn't do it. I couldn't talk to her after what had happened. I dragged her by the arm out of my apartment. I made her cry. I didn't deserve anything. I couldn't deal with reality and the consequences of the monster I had become into.

Sunday, March 4th. That was the day it all changed for good.

(Y/N)'s point of view

Spencer didn't call. I wasn't surprised, though. I knew he would be affected by the video and probably felt like he didn't deserve my help. So I did what I knew Frank would say I shouldn't do. I put on my shoes and got ready to go to his apartment and pick him up. I was not going to leave him alone when I could see he was struggling to survive.

But when I opened my door, Spencer was sitting in the hall outside my apartment, hugging his legs, shaking. His eyes were puffy, and his lips were shattered. He looked at me, afraid I would be mad. But how could I? I just wanted to help him.

I kneeled in front of him and touched his hands. They were stone cold. His lips trembled as I looked into his eyes, and after a few seconds of hesitation, he finally threw his arms around me, crying.

- "It's ok, honey"- I whispered and felt his whole body shaking as he held me tight- "I've got you."

- "I'm sorry"- I mumbled, sobbing against my shoulder.

- "Shh, it's ok, it's ok"- I ran my fingers through his hair and kissed his cheek.

- "Please"- I had to bite my lips not to cry with him, but I knew I had to be strong for him- "Help me."

- "Always."

I poured two cups of tea on my kitchen island as I looked at Spencer eating a bowl of soup. He was swallowing it like he hadn't eaten in days, which was probably true. We had barely spoken in the last hour. He kept asking for forgiveness as I helped him walk into my apartment and sat with him on the couch. He held onto me like a castaway holds to whatever shipwrecks he finds to survive.

When I finally convinced him to eat something, he followed me to the kitchen and looked at me in silence as I cooked. I didn't know what to tell him, so I just did my best to stay calm. I knew what was happening next, and it wasn't going to be pretty. But I was ready to go through it with him.

- "Thank you"- he whispered and sighed as soon as he was finished.

- "Do you want some more?"- but he shook his head. I smiled at him and handed him his cup of herbal tea.

- "Cookies?"- he didn't answer. He just looked at me with those big puppy eyes and broke my heart.

- "I'm sorry"- he spoke so softly I almost didn't hear him.

- "Don't be."

- "I was a monster"- he stared at me, and I knew he was thinking I was never going to forgive him, when the truth was, I wasn't mad at him at all. I was just worried sick.

- "Are you ready to get better?"- I was afraid to ask, 'cos I was afraid he could change his mind. Still, I trusted the video had shaken him deeply enough to erase from his head any thought of relapsing.

- "Yes."

His answer was clear. Even when it was a whisper, there was no hesitation or no fear. Pure determination. It made me smile to hear him like that. And he smiled at me for a second, filling my heart with hope.

- "Ok, then this is what we are doing"- I walked to my desk and took a folder I had prepared for that day. I gave it to him, and he frowned, confused.

- "What is this?"

- "Our home detox plan. You and I are locked in this apartment for the next fifteen days."

Spencer looked at me, baffled. I just smiled and walked to the fridge to show him how prepared I was.

- "I got all the food we need, and the meds you might need, and a nurse that will come to visit daily to put an eye on you."

- "What? How? What about work?"

- "I'll talk to Hotch."

- "What are you gonna tell him?"

- "The truth"

I wasn't going to lie to my boss, not when he also knew what was happening with Reid.

- "Honey, he knows there's something wrong with you, and I'm sure he will understand our absence for two weeks. You and I have enough vacation days saved to cover that time. And you need it."

Spencer looked at me in silence. I couldn't read his face because his eyes hypnotized me. Even under those circumstances, his eyes were beautiful and sweet. Filled with hope.

- "Ok"- he nodded, and I hugged him right away.

- "I'm so proud of you, honey"- I whispered and caressed his hair for a second.- "Come on. We are doing one more thing before we start."

- "What?"

- "Cleaning your apartment."

I took Reid back to his place and got rid of the Dilaudid he had gotten that weekend: All of it. And the needles. I helped him clean because I didn't want him to find a messy apartment when he would get back there. Then, we packed a bag of clean clothes to take to my place. He looked weak but determined to change, which made me feel so relieved. My heart was joyful.

- "Do you have everything?"- I whispered and held his hand as he stood in the middle of the living room and took a look around- "Do you want to take some books?"- he didn't answer- "Spencer? are you ok?"

- "I don't want to be a burden"- he whispered, and I took a deep breath right away, trying to find the right words to convince him he wasn't and that there was no way on earth he could ever be a burden in my life.

- "You are not, I swear"- he looked down and played with his fingers in my hand- "I mean it."

- "It's not going to be nice"

- "I know"

- "And..."

- "And I want to be there, with you, all along. Ok?"- he looked at me, and my heart skipped a beat.

- "(Y/N), withdrawal symptoms from opiates include anxiety, sweating, vomiting, and"- he cleared his throat, embarrassed- "And diarrhea."

- "I know... but we are going to go through this together, one day at the time."

Spencer kept his fingers in my hand, tracing paths on my skin. I looked at him and bit the inside of my cheeks. I didn't want him to doubt himself, 'cos I knew he could do it.

- "One day at the time sounds good"- he murmured and looked at me with a tiny smile. I nodded and kissed his cheek. I don't know why I did it. I just know how much I liked it. The sensation of his skin, and his two days beard, I don't know what it did to me. But I even shivered.

- "Let's go"- I whispered and held his hand tight. He nodded and grabbed his bag. It was about to get real.

The first night with Spencer was wild. He hadn't used it in over a day, and the withdrawal symptoms started around midnight. We were on the couch watching a movie. I was already half asleep when I felt Spencer constantly moving. He started biting his nails and scratching his face every two minutes.

- "Are you ok?"- I whispered and looked at him. He was pale.

- "I'm not gonna be able to do this."

- "Honey..."

- "No, I mean it."

- "You can, and you will."

- "How do you know? I was weak enough to start using."

- "You were forced to start using, and you are strong enough to stop"- I sat straight and held his hands. He was freezing- "What do you say we put you to bed? I'll make you a cup of tea, and we'll see how you feel in the morning."

He didn't move. I kept his hand in mine, and he held it tight. Real tight. I don't know what he was thinking about, but after a few seconds, he sighed and looked at me.

- "Bed and tea sounds nice,"- I nodded and stood up, but he didn't move- "(Y/N)?"

- "Yes?"

- "Where are you going to sleep?"

- "On the couch"- he sighed, and his face was filled with guilt.

- "I can't let you do that. This is your house."

- "Don't worry about that now. Come on. You need to rest"- I caressed his hand with my thumb, and he finally stood up. But halfway to the bedroom, he stopped.

- "I feel so guilty to put you through all this."

- "I want to do this"

- "But..."

- "No, but"- I turned to him and cupped his face with my hands- "I love you, and I'm not gonna leave you alone. No matter what."

My words resonated inside my head for a few seconds as I stared at him. My stomach was fluttering, and my heart was racing inside my chest.

That wasn't good. But I didn't have to overthink my feelings because my best friend needed me.

Reid walked to the bathroom and put on his pajamas while I made him a cup of warm tea. I knew what was coming: nausea, shivering, throwing up, stomach ache, and more. But I was ready. Two weeks and Spencer was going to be ok.

I had talked about my plan with Hotch earlier that day, and he agreed to give us two weeks off and cover us. Spencer was going to be in Vegas, 'cos his mother had had an episode, and I would be in New York, helping my brother on a case. Seemed convincing. Having the two of us out of town would stop any of our friends to stop by unannounced.

- "(Y/N), thank you for doing this for Reid"- Hotch said before hanging up. I felt lucky to have him as my unit chief. He surely cared for all of us. I don't think anyone else would have done the same.

Retchings from my bathroom were the first thing I heard as soon as I stepped into my room.

- "Honey, do you need help?"- but Reid didn't answer. So I ran back to the kitchen and got him a Gatorade from the fridge, set it on the nightstand. Then I ran to my closet and grabbed a clean towel.

I opened the bathroom door and found Reid kneeled by the toilet. He had already flushed but didn't stand up.

- "Here"- I dampened the towel and put it on his forehead. He closed his eyes and sighed- "Better?"

Spencer just nodded and stayed still for a moment. I took off his glasses and pulled his hair back carefully. He started retching a second later, and I rubbed his stomach, cooing him. When he was done, I flushed and helped him stand up. That wasn't it, and I knew it. He knew it too.

- "Did you know brushing your teeth right after throwing up damages your teeth?"- he whispered, making me smile. It felt good to know deep down, even under those shitty circumstances, he was still the same good old Reid.

- "So, mouthwash?"- I moved the bottle closer for him, and he just nodded- "I'll be outside."

Reid drank a little Gatorade and made a sad effort to read after getting into bed but fell asleep in less than five minutes. I took the glasses off (again) and took the book from his hands. My heart felt warm just to see him there, resting.

But that lasted less than half an hour. I stayed by Spencer's side to make sure he was ok. I was reading when he started retching again. I grabbed the bucket I had already set underneath the bed and rushed to help him. His stomach was already empty. He was basically just vomiting bile.

When he finally fell asleep again, he started shaking. I touched his hand, and he was freezing, so I took an extra blanket from the closet, placed it on top of him, and set the room's thermostats to make it a little warmer for him.

I stayed by his side, reading until he woke up again. This time, he was sweating. I took a clean pajama top from his bag and helped him change. Then, I took the dirty pajamas and the clothes he had worn that day and put them in the washer.

I sat next to Reid on the bed and looked at him. He was awake, rolling over and over, not able to stay still.

- "Come here"- I whispered and tapped on my lap- "Put your head here."

I thought he was going to argue, but no. Instead, he did as told with no hesitation as I ran my fingers through his hair slowly, scratching his scalp carefully. I felt how he inhaled deeply and relaxed, at least for a little while.

But it didn't last. And the rest of the night was a long loop of puke, shivers, and sweat. Spencer finally fell asleep for good around six in the morning, and I dragged my exhausted self to the couch. Night one was done. Nine more to go.

Spencer's point of view

My whole body ached. I opened my eyes, disoriented. All I knew was that I felt I had been beaten up, but I didn't recognize the room. I did recognize the smell on my pillow, though. It was (Y/N)'s. That's how I remembered what was going on.

Adding to how bad I felt, physically, I felt worst knowing everything that had happened the night before and in advance for everything I knew would happen that week. But even knowing that, and even when I was embarrassed to be a burden, I was glad to be there. I was happy to feel taken cared of and loved. It was a change I never imagined I could experience. The one who always took care of his mother now had someone who took care of him. It was under a miserable context, but I felt loved anyway.

Even when I was loved only as a friend.

I stood up slowly. I was fatigued, probably 'cos I had spent half of the night puking. I drank what was left of the Gatorade on the nightstand and walked to the living room. (Y/N) was asleep on the couch. My heart ached to think how uncomfortable she probably was while I slept on her queen-sized bed. No one had ever cared so much about me before. So I walked to the kitchen and made her breakfast. A classical Reid breakfast. Coffee, cereal, and milk. That was it. That was all I could cook.

- "Hey, what are you doing?"- (Y/N) appeared suddenly and smiled at me so sweetly, I nearly dropped the coffee pot.

- "I'm trying to make you breakfast"- I confessed and blushed- "And as you can see, I'm not much of a cooker."

- "You made coffee, you covered the most important part"- she held the cup I had filled for her and smiled- "What if you get comfy on the couch while I make you something to eat?"

- "I can't let you do everything, (Y/N)"- the way she looked at me, my heart skipped a beat.

- "I'll tell you what: If I ever get sick or hurt, or anything happens to me, you are going to be the one taking care of me. Ok?"- I nodded and stayed quiet- "Now, go to the couch. It's a lazy Monday."

- "What does that mean?"

- "We stay in our pajamas, watch movies, nap, and do nothing."

How could anyone say no to that?

I wasn't hungry at all, but (Y/N) really applied herself with everything she cooked: she made chocolate chips, hotcakes, peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a smoothie, and also forced me to eat a bowl of fruit. She said I needed all the vitamins I could get, 'cos I had to get strong.

She sat next to me, ate the bowl of cereal I had prepared for her, and drank the coffee I had made. It was relaxing just staying there, covered with a blanket, watching Dr. Who. I felt my body losing up little by little. Until detox hit again. The light was bothering me, burning my eyes, and my body felt weak. Nauseous started kicking in, and before I knew it, I was throwing up on (Y/N)'s carpet.

She held a bucket in front of me and pressed a damped towel on the back of my neck.

- "Better?"- (Y/N) whispered and smiled at me. Her fingers tucked some of my hair behind my ears gently- "Do you want to lay down for a while? You are shaking."

I just nodded.

- "Ok, come on, let's go"- she held my arm and helped me stand up. She was right. I was shaking, but not just because I was cold. It was the withdrawal.

I was so embarrassed and mortified. With each symptom, I was a little more certain (Y/N) would never look at me the way I did. She would never fall for me after what she was witnessing. No one in their right mind would.

- "There you are"- she whispered, fixing the pillow behind my head as I laid on her bed again.

- "Can you please close the curtains?"- I whispered, covering my face with both hands. The light was too painful to deal with.

- "Sure, honey. Headache?"- all I could do was nod- "I'll get you ibuprofen, that will help with your body aches and the migraine."

I stayed still, eyes closed, hands covering my face, thinking how I had gotten to the point of having to detox my body from drugs. It was, without a doubt, the lowest moment of my whole life.

- "Ok, honey, try to get some rest, ok?"- (Y/N) whispered after I took the ibuprofen and drank half the bottle of water she had brought.

-  "Can you..."- I studied because I was afraid to tell her I didn't want her to leave me alone. I was afraid to be on my own. I didn't trust myself or my mind.

- "What is it? Do you want another blanket?"

- "Can you stay with me?"- I finally asked and held her hand. She just nodded, smiling, and sat next to me on her bed, making sure I was comfy and cozy, fixing the pillow again and the blanket. I looked at her as she laid by my side on top of the covers and held her book.

- "I'm here, Spencer. And I'll be where when you wake up, ok?"

- "Can you read to me?"- I closed my eyes 'cos the light was killing me.

- "And your headache?"

- "Your voice is soothing, and it would help to concentrate on something else but the pain."

- "Ok... then prepare yourself for some horror, 'cos I'm reading, yet again, "Something wicked this way comes."

- "It's one of my favorites"- I whispered and sighed.

- "Why am I not surprised?"

I tried to fight the waves of nausea, the pain in every muscle and headache, and only focused on the sound of her voice as she read. It took me back to when I was a kid, and my mom would read me every night. (Y/N) kept caressing my hair and reading to me. It was the closest I had ever been to heaven, even when physically, I felt like dying.

When I woke up, (Y/N) was asleep by my side. I tried to move, but my body was limp. It was too painful for me to get up on my own, and all I could think of was one simple thing: Dilaudid. I was craving it. I would never feel so bad if I had a fix. Just a little one. To make the pain go away.

I was making excuses to justify my need for drugs. I wanted to feel better, 'cos right there, on (Y/N)'s bed, I felt dead already, and my whole body was rotting. I just wanted to get a little high. It wasn't going to hurt anyone. Right?

Wrong. The bruise on (Y/N)'s arm was the reality check I needed. I hurt her. I hit her. I pushed her away from me. That's how low I had gotten. I would not let that happen again, and more important than anything else: I was never going to hurt (Y/N), ever again. And that I swore to myself that day on her bed.

There was no use in denying the fact I was in love with my best friend. She was the best thing that had ever happened to me. And I knew I was going to love her forever, even when she would only be my friend. I didn't even know when I had fallen so hard in love with her. I tried to remember the moment my feelings had changed from friendship to love, but I couldn't find it. I just knew I loved her, and nothing was ever gonna change that.

The kind of love that makes you think you'd die for that person. I would die for her, just to make sure she is safe.

I felt so pathetic thinking those things. Not because I didn't want to feel that way, but because I knew (Y/N) would never look at me like that. But still, I'd give her everything she could ever ask me for.

I just laid by her side and looked at her as she slept. My eyes were finally able to slide on every detail of her face. Her freckles, her nose, the color of her lips that even without makeup looked like a cherry. And the bruise on her arm. I was never going to forget about it and neither forgive myself.

- "Hey"- she whispered, fluttering her eyes- "How are you feeling?"

- "Good"- I lied. I didn't want to tell her I felt like dying. She stayed still, looking at me for a few seconds.

- "Are you hungry?"- I shook my head, even that hurt- "How's the headache?"- my eyes were killing me.

- "Better"- she nodded and sighed.

- "I know you are full of shit, Spencer Walter Reid. You don't need to lie"- I just closed my eyes and refused to open them again for a few minutes.

- "I just don't want you to worry, (Y/N). That's all."

- "Do you want to sleep some more? I'm gonna go..."- but as soon as she moved, I stopped her.

- "No"- I looked at her and held her hand immediately. Every muscle in my body hurt with that movement, but I didn't regret it- "Please, don't leave."

- "Ok, I won't go. I promise"- she held my hand and caressed it slowly and smiled so sweetly, I think I even smiled back.

We laid in silence for a while. I closed my eyes again, trying to breathe normally. (Y/N) was lying next to me. That would get my heart racing in a second.

- "The nurse is coming around five. She will put an eye on you every day if you need any medical attention, ok?"- I hummed as a response and kept focused on her fingers playing with my hand- "Maybe we can ask her to help you take a bath."

I wide opened my eyes at those words and noticed how my best friend was blushing.

- "What?"- she chuckled at my reaction- "I can take a bath on my own!"

- "Really? You should consider it then"- she stuck out her tongue to me and giggled- "Though your two days beard is cute"- she ran her fingers along my jaw and sent shivers all over my body. The proximity felt so new, yet incredibly natural, almost familiar.

- "Thanks?"- I answered with a question 'cos I had no idea what else to do. I just stayed still and looked into her eyes. She didn't say another word either. Her eyes were following her fingers, playing with my jawbone slowly.

I wanted to move a little closer to her and hug her, maybe. But I couldn't. Not only because I physically couldn't move without crying, but because her phone rang and made her jump on the bed.

- "Hey! Paco, how are you?"- I heard her pick up the phone in the living room and walk back to me, holding another bottle of Gatorade.

- "No, I'm on a case. In New York. I don't know how long, I wish I could predict how long it's gonna take to catch a fucking serial killer, but I can't."

I looked at her as she walked around the room, talking with Frank. Of course, it was him. She always called him Paco. I slowly sat down on the bed and sighed. I was paranoid about the shower. Maybe I stank. I hadn't bathed since... Saturday. Obviously, I smelled terrible. I had been sweating all night long.

I made my best effort and walked to the bathroom. Everything hurt. When I finally managed to take off my pajamas and ran the shower, I was weary. But the warm water made me feel a lot better.

I took a long shower. Not just because I wanted to stay forever under the warm water, but because I couldn't really move that fast. I washed my hair and considered shaving. But I didn't have a razor on hand, and if (Y/N) liked my tiny beard, I decided to keep it.

- "Hey! everything ok?"- (Y/N) asked from the other side of the door.

- "Yes, I'm ok"- she walked in, and I froze.

- "Ok, I'll leave a clean towel next to the shower, ok? It's warm"

- "Thank you."

I stayed still under the water until she exited the bathroom and nearly held my breath at the thought of her being there with me. It was too much, and to be honest, I was too weak to overthink it. But I knew it was going to be a thought that would hunt me back home.

(Y/N)'s point of view

I sat on the couch and drank my tea after leaving the towel for Spencer in the bathroom. My heart was racing, and that shouldn't be happening. Why was I so affected by my best friend? I knew I was worried, and all my attention was focused on him, but that didn't explain why my stomach fluttered when I looked at him.

- "Put your shit together!!"- I yelled/whispered to myself and shook my head.

Frank had called to know about Spencer, but I had to lie and act like I was at work. I couldn't just tell him what was going on in front of Reid. So I texted him the short version of the fact, and he asked me to keep him posted. He also told me he was going to keep Mikey and Lu away from my apartment those days.

Spencer took a shower and sat with me on the couch. I had cleaned the vomit from the carpet and kept a bucket near in case he felt sick. We read in silence for a while, and I kept checking on him every few minutes. He was nervous and looked anxious. I wasn't going to ask him what was wrong, 'cos it was obvious he was craving Dilaudid, and to be honest, I was scared he might start yelling and getting violent. So, I stood up and prepared him a smoothie. I knew he hated healthy eating, especially salads, but he was doomed. He had to put some vitamins in his body.

He looked at me disgusted as I gave him the glass but drank it quietly and gave it back in a minute. I was impressed.

He threw it up in less than ten minutes, though. So far, not so good.

He also vomited lunch. I knew his whole body ached, so I put on a Star Trek DVD to keep his mind busy in anything else. When the nurse came, she did a brief check-up and told me to continue with the same diet and ibuprofen in case of severe pain. We had to put an eye on dehydration. She also suggested we'd engage in some physical activity as soon as he felt better. Walks to the park were her recommendation.

I couldn't imagine Spencer walking out of the house under those conditions, but I had high hopes by the end of that week, he was going to feel much better.

The second night was worse than the first because his body aches hit him harder. He rolled in bed in pain, shivering. I stayed with him until late, trying to soothe him. I read and caressed his sweated hair. At a certain point, I just sat there with his head on my legs, and he started crying. His tears soaking my legs and his sobs breaking my heart.

I didn't know what to say. I don't know if there was anything to be said at that moment. So I just leaned in and kissed Spencer's temple. I rocked him like a baby and did my best to calm him down. He just kept crying on and on, tearing my soul apart. I couldn't handle watching him like that. I didn't know what to do to help him feel better too. All I could do was be with him throughout the process and hold him tight to make sure I kept all his pieces together. I didn't want him to fall apart.

When I opened my eyes the following day, Spencer was asleep in front of me. He was pale, and the rings under his eyes were darker than ever. But at least, he was finally sleeping.

I stared at him for a few minutes, planning the day. But soon, I realized I couldn't concentrate. I just looked at him. I knew my friend was handsome, even when he always argued when I let him know. But at that moment, he made my heart beat faster. His hair was messy and with some curls. His brown beard kept growing. I had never seen Spencer with facial hair, and I loved it. I wanted to tell him to keep it, but then I thought it might be inappropriate. Not that telling him was wrong, but what he was making me feel.

I refused to think I had a crush on my friend. Because I didn't. I was just worried sick for him, and my head was confused. It wasn't the time to think about that. I had to be a good friend and help Reid. His wellbeing was all that mattered to me.

So I got out of bed and ran to the kitchen to make sure everything was ready. I cooked breakfast and lunch, cleaned, and took a quick shower. I was walking out of the bathroom in my clean clothes when Spencer woke up. He rolled in bed and looked at me, confused.

- "Hey, how are you feeling, honey?"- I whispered and sat next to him on the bed. He yawned and nodded.

- "Better."

- "Great, I hope you are hungry, 'cos breakfast is ready"- he scratched his head and yawned again. And I swear, I had to mentally slap myself because I thought he looked adorable and couldn't stop staring.

- "Do you want to take a shower?"- I asked him and stood up. I had to do anything to keep me from being stupid- "I can also run you a bath. I got some salts that could make you feel better. They might help with your body ache."

- "Thank you"- he whispered and sat down. He just looked at me in silence as I kept myself busy opening curtains, folding blankets, and cleaning the bathroom, to get it ready for him

- "Did you sleep?"- he asked me suddenly- "You look tired."

- "Nah, I'm ok. I think I went too heavy on the coffee earlier."

- "How long have you been up?"- I looked at my wristwatch and sighed.

- "A couple of hours."

It was ten. I got up at eight. Spencer had finally fallen asleep at five. It didn't take a genius to see I hadn't slept properly.

- "Why don't you nap?"- he asked and tapped on the bed- "You look like you could use some more sleep"- that was tempting, I won't deny it. But no. I couldn't.

- "Tell you what, why don't you eat something and then we can watch a movie together?"- Spencer nodded and moved slowly. That's when I remembered he felt like shit.

- "Come here"- I stood by his side and held his hands- "Can you stand up?"

- "Yes"- he whispered and tried to move on his own. His legs were shaking, and so were his hands. He did his best to stand up, and after a few tries on his own, he succeeded. But after giving two steps alone, he stumbled and nearly fell.

- "I've got you!"- I said, wrapping my arms around him and keeping him steady. His whole face was red, in anger maybe, or embarrassment. I didn't want to push him to talk or do anything. I just made sure he wouldn't fall.

- "Wanna stay in bed?"- I suggested

- "No"- he murmured and took a step ahead

- "Ok, let's go to the living room then."

Spencer didn't reply. I was sure he was ashamed and upset. I just walked with him to the living room, trying to think of anything else: anything but the butterflies in my stomach.

It was getting harder to ignore the mental fuzziness I felt each time I looked at him. But I refused to think about it. It wasn't the right time.

But it got worse that evening.

We spent the whole day on my sofa, napping, reading, and watching Star Trek. I was getting dinner ready when Spencer's phone rang. We both stayed still. He looked at me with widened eyes, almost scared. I smiled and walked to my room to get the phone. It was JJ.

I'm not proud to say it, but an overwhelming sensation of insecurity and concern filled my body. Why was JJ calling Spencer? Were they closer than I thought? I don't know why I kept thinking all those things.

- "It's JJ"- I announced and gave him his phone. He hesitated for a moment and finally picked up. I walked back to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water. What was wrong with me?

- "Mom is fine, thank you for calling"- I heard him say and closed my eyes. I had to focus on the food. I had to focus on helping him get better.

Why was I so upset JJ had called him? It was nice to know more people cared about him. Not as much as I did, of course.

- "Sure, I tell her. I'll see you in a couple of days"

I walked back to the living room carrying a tray with soup and salads. Spencer sat down properly and looked at me with a small smile.

- "I know you hate veggies, but you are doomed"- I whispered, reading his mind- "These are packed with all the vitamins and minerals your body needs."

- "Thank you"- he murmured and kept his eyes on me until I sat next to him and grabbed my bowl.

- "How was JJ?"- I had to ask. He cleared his throat and played with the lettuce on his dish for a moment before saying.

- "She was ok. She wanted to know if everything was ok with my mom."

- "Oh"- I didn't know what else to say. I tried no to think about it anymore, 'cos it was useless.

- "I kind of felt bad everybody swallowed our story"- Spencer confessed and sighed.

- "That's because I make up the best lies, honey,"- I smiled at him, but he just stared- "Everything ok?"

- "I'm not hungry"

- "Come on, at least have the soup, please?"

- "I don't want to barf all over your carpet, again"- he whispered and kept playing with the lettuce.

- "What if I tell you I made brownies? and you can have a brownie if you eat the soup?"- Spencer bit his lips and shook his head.

- "Why are you treating me like a kid?"

- "I am not! I'm blackmailing you with sugar as I would do under any other circumstance."-

And I wasn't lying. I would definitely try to force him to eat or do something with the promise of a brownie.

- "So? What do you say? Eat that soup, and we'll have brownies... with vanilla ice cream."

Reid stared into my eyes, and I held my breath. He was so pale, so thin. And yet, so beautiful.

- "If I vomit..."

- "If you vomit, you vomit. No hard feelings"- I smiled and tapped on his leg- "Besides, you need to get some vitamins in your body. You are too thin."

He didn't reply. He started eating slowly and kept watching Star Trek in silence.

Spencer successfully ate his bowl of soup and ate a little bit of the salad. I knew he hates veggies, so I didn't push him. As a reward, I prepared a big tray with brownies with ice cream, chocolate sauce, and hot chocolate with marshmallows and put it on the coffee table in front of us. We were about to start eating when we heard a knock on the door.

- "That's the nurse"- I said and stood up quickly. But I was wrong. It was Paul.

- "Babe... hey"- he smiled at me as soon as I opened the door and tried to walk in. But I didn't let him.

- "What are you doing here?"- I stood at the door and raised an eyebrow. I knew we didn't have a bad breakup, but after what he had said that night, I was afraid he might freak out to see Spencer in his pajamas watching tv on my couch.

- "I couldn't stop thinking about what happened the other night, and..."- he made a pause and looked inside- "What are you doing?"

- "I'm having dinner"

- "Alone?"- I didn't answer- "Can I come in?"

- "No"

- "Are you with someone? are you on a date?"- Paul pushed the door and stormed into my apartment. Reid turned around and looked at him, embarrassed.

- "What the fuck do you think you are doing? get out of my house!"- I grabbed my ex-boyfriend's sleeve and stopped him.

- "Hey, Paul"- Spencer waved from the couch, looking scared. His shoulders were tightened, and his eyes wide opened.

- "What is this nerd doing here?"- Paul turned to me, ignoring my friend.

- "What are you doing here? That's the question!"

- "I wanted to apologize for what happened the other day."

- "Well, sorry to crack the news, but if this is an apology, it sucks!"- I swear, I could feel my pulse speeding- "And there is nothing to talk or forgive, we broke up, and it was ok!"

- "Yeah, and now the nerd is here to make you feel better!"

- "You have no idea what you are talking about! And would appreciate it if you stop calling him that!!"- I freaked out and clenched my fist. I was going to lose it with him.

- "Good luck with the Ice Princess here!!"- Paul yelled at Reid- "If you are lucky, she is gonna hug you once!!"

- "Get out!"- I stood by the open door and slammed it as soon as he had left. My hands were shaking, my lips were quivering, and my eyes were tearing up.

- "Are you... are you ok?"- Spencer stood up and walked to me. He stumbled a little but managed to hold me. I didn't reply. I just broke into tears.

Why was I crying if I was glad I had broken up with Paul? Why was I so upset to see him at my house? Why was I shaking in anger?

Maybe I was just human, and I was tired of all the shit. Perhaps I was just sleepy or stressed with everything going on with Reid. Or the fact he kept thinking I had feelings for my best friend was too much for me.

Even the fact he called me "Ice Princess" hurt me. Yes, I wasn't a very physical person with him. But that was just because I wasn't in love with him.

For a few minutes, I just cried, soaking Spencer's pajamas as he held me tight, just like I had done for him the night before.

- "I'm sorry"- I whispered and sighed. I let him go and fixed my hair- "I shouldn't let Paul affect me so much, but I wasn't expecting to see him."

- "What happened?"- Spencer held my hand and took me to the couch with him. He handed me a dish with brownie and melted ice cream, and a spoon.

- "We broke up a few days ago."- my best friend looked at me in silence as his shaky thumb wiped off the tears on my cheeks.

- "I was actually planning dinner with the guys to give them the news, 'cos I knew they would like to celebrate... but that doesn't matter. You were right; I didn't love him. I don't know why I was still dating him."

- "I'm sorry"- he whispered and carefully wrapped me on a blanket.

- "Don't be. I really wanted to break up with him. I was just scared to lose who I used to be..."

- "You are never going to lose who you are, (Y/N)"- Spencer whispered and cut me a smile- "Frankie, Lu, and Mikey would never let that happen"- I sighed and nodded- "I won't let that happen either."

- "Thank you, honey"- I grabbed the spoon and took a big piece of brownie- "You know what bothers me? I don't know why I'm crying so much! I'm not sad! I'm angry!"

- "Actually, when you get mad, your body produces a flood of hormones that stimulate strong reactions in your body, like racing your heart and getting sweaty palms. In response to the elevated stress level, crying stimulates the release of oxytocin and prolactin. These two chemicals can bring your heart rate down and otherwise calm you after a stressful event."

- "Well, my fucking body makes me look weak and stupid!"

- "You could never look weak..."- Spencer hesitated for a second. It felt like he wanted to add something to those words but finally just stayed quiet.

- "Thank you, honey bunny. You are the best friend I could ever ask for."

- "Don't say that. You are the best friend I could have ever asked for."

We just stared for a few seconds. His eyes on mine, my hands still shaking, though I didn't know why.

It was a moment I knew I could never forget, 'cos it was the moment I first considered kissing Spencer.

It was a thought that only lasted for a second, but it was there. And like a seed planted on my brain, once I knew it was there, it could only grow and hunt me, like a ghost.

Spencer's point of view

My heart ached to see (Y/N) crying because of an asshole who never deserved her. And it also jumped of joy knowing she was no longer dating that jerk. I knew I could never make a move on her, but just to know she wasn't stuck with him made me happy.

But the fact she had gone through all that alone and didn't even talk about it for four days because she was too busy taking care of me made me feel awful. I didn't deserve any of that.

- "How are you feeling?"- she whispered and smiled at me after finishing her brownie- "Want me to heat your cocoa?"

- "I'm ok, thank you"

I stared at her in silence and decided to make the boldest move I have ever made with her, and opened my arm for her so that she could cuddle. She didn't hesitate and moved closer. I wrapped an arm around her, and her head rested on my chest. And trying not to make it look like a big deal, I also held her hand and caressed her skin, tracing random patterns on it.

- "I'm sorry for being such a bad friend"- I said and kissed the top of her head. I didn't plan it. I just did it. And it felt so good.

- "Don't say that."

- "I've been an asshole since Tobias."

- "You haven't... I mean, you have, but you had your reasons"- she made a pause and sighed. I knew something was bothering her, and I was hoping it wasn't our position because I loved how her warm body felt against mine.

- "Honey?"- she whispered, and I hummed as a response- "Would you call me a cold person?"

- "Never..."

- "I know I'm not a physical person, but..."

- "Me neither, and look at us"- I pointed out the obvious, and she softly giggled. He raised her head from my chest and turned to look at me. I swear all I could think of that minute was kissing her.

- "I am more loving with you than I ever was with Paul"- she confessed and sighed. Her eyes were sad. Clearly, what he had said to her had affected her more than she wanted to admit.

- "He didn't deserve it anyway"- she added and moved back to lay her head on my chest- "You do."

And after that, we just stayed like that, hugged on the couch, until the nurse knocked on the door.

- "You look much better"- I smiled at the nurse and nodded- "Still nauseous?"

- "Yes, but not as much as yesterday"- I whispered and looked at her, wrapping the blood pressure cuff around my arm, right next to all the marks I left with the needles. I wanted to hide them from everyone, and I thanked (Y/N) wasn't in the room. Of all people, she was the one I didn't want to see those marks the most.

- "They are going to fade soon"- the nurse whispered. I wasn't too subtle with my reaction, I guess. I just nodded and looked away.

- "Your girlfriend is taking excellent care of you. You are a fortunate guy"- I'm sure I blushed and turned to her immediately.

- "She... she is... she is not my girlfriend"- I felt I needed to explain it, I don't know why.

- "Really?"- and the nurse seemed to be in shock- "She surely loves you."

- "She is my best friend"- I whispered and felt how my heart was nearly bursting inside my chest.

- "You are lucky to have her"- she added, and I agreed.

I knew I was lucky. Even when (Y/N) wasn't my girlfriend, I knew I had to be with her. Always.

After thirteen days of home detox, I was back to being my old self again. I felt happy, healthy, and strong. I don't think I had ever felt that good before.

I loved spending those days with (Y/N), and I was pretty bummed I had to go back to my apartment the next day. The fact I had lived with her for two weeks was incredible. I knew it all happened under dark and miserable circumstances, but it had been life-changing.

Now I knew everything I wanted to know about her to help me make her day better and all her little quirks. Her favorite brands of tea, her favorite snacks. How she liked to take the last cup of tea of the day in bed, reading. Her favorite bands. How she always cooked singing. She always slept on her left side. And how after all those days, we would be so comfortable together, we would cuddle naturally, even without asking.

I don't want to overreact, but it was pretty heavenly to me, like the sensation I felt with the romantic poems mom used to read to me when I was little. Just don't tell anyone I said that.

- "Ok, dinner is ready"- (Y/N) announced and took the lasagna from the oven. I held a bowl of salad and walked with her to the dining room.

- "What do you wanna drink?"

- "A glass of wine, you?"

- "Red or white?"- I asked her and walked back to the kitchen. I didn't even wait for her answer. I took the white and two glasses. She smiled and sat down.

- "This looks amazing, (Y/N)"- and I wasn't lying.

- "Wait until you see dessert, we have three colors of Jell-O"- the fact she knew I loved jello wasn't what got me. It was how happy she looked to spoil me with my favorite dessert.

- "Thank you for cooking all my favorite meals."

- "You are welcome, honey bunny"- I smiled at her and poured a glass of wine for her and one for me.

- "Can I ask you something?"- I whispered, and she nodded- "Why do you call me honey bunny?"- she looked from her dish and giggled.

- "It took you forever to ask."

- "Well... I didn't want you to think I didn't like it..."

- "You don't?"- I wide opened my eyes and shook my head frenetically.

- "No! I love it! I just... don't know... where does it come from? You said I gave you the "honey bunny" vibes, but... what does that mean?"- (Y/N) chewed her lasagna and looked at me.

- "Well, I always loved that nickname. I thought it was adorable and never used it on anyone because no one ever gave me that vibe. I had never met my honey bunny before."

"My Honey Bunny." That woman was killing me, and she had no idea.

- "And I took it from Pulp Fiction"- she finally confessed and waited for my reaction- "Have you seen it?"

- "No"- I admitted and shrugged.

- "Then we are watching it after dinner tonight"- (Y/N) decided, and I nodded- "You still don't give me a nickname, by the way."

She had no idea, but I had a list of nicknames for her. I had written all the cute names I wanted to call on a notebook I kept in my satchel. But I didn't dare. I could call her cute names in my head all the time, but never out loud.

- "You don't have to do it if you don't want to, by the way"- she added and kept eating.

- "I have never done it before"- I accepted, feeling embarrassed- "Sorry."

- "Why are you sorry?"

- "I don't want you to think I don't want to call you by a loving nickname. I just..."

- "Come on, how would you call me? Do I give you any nickname vibe?"- I chuckled, and she smiled childishly.

- "I really like the story behind "nugget." I think it's brilliant"- she shook her head, and her cheeks blushed- "But for you... I think I have three options."

- "So you've given it some thoughts!"- I nodded and took a sip of wine- "Let me hear them."

- "Well... after that case in Oregon when you got lost in the woods, I thought I could call you "chipmunk"- I confessed and watched her face light up.

- "I love that!"

- "Really?"- I chuckled and looked at her holding my breath- "Well... then I remembered how we became friends and your obsession with cupcakes, so I thought I could call you that."

- "I love that too!!"

- "And..."- since I was honest, I took it a little further- "After last Halloween, and all the carving we did, and our movie marathon, I thought "pumpkin" was pretty sweet too."

(Y/N) sighed and smiled at me, her cheeks blushing and her eyes shining.

- "They are all awesome, so you should use them all, and I can look for more nicknames for you"- I simply stared at her and felt how my heart melted.

- "Ok"- I whispered, and she raised an eyebrow playfully.

- "Ok, what?"

- "Ok... pumpkin"- I whispered and held my breath at the sound of those words leaving my lips.

She really didn't have a clue about what she did to me.

DIWK Taglist:

@all-tings-diego @big-galaxy-chaos @muffin-cup @shilohpug @eternalharry @tvandfanfic @archer561

Spencer taglist

@calm-and-doctor

General Taglist

@spenxerslut @ash19871962 @babebenhardy

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Next update: May 19th, 2021