#ok but dude. the special effects

[moonfurthetemmie]

Happy Halloween!

I have no tribute to give, but I did just watch Repo! The Genetic Opera and unfortunately for all the fictional characters that I play with like dolls in my head, I have been given ideas for Gouge

[triglycercule]

i am severely upset at the sexyman polls for this year. yeah its absolutely because im biased and not a single one of the mtt won. but killer vs error is still going on you say!!! NO,,,,, killer's lost,,,,, its 70 error 30 killerISH so yeah,,,,, none of the mtt MADE!!!! IT!!!! and with the boom in killer content these past few months i wasSO FUCKING SURE that he'd like AT LEAST get higher up. nope. because of ERROR. listen i like him. he was my og bias when i first joined this fandom. i was an error fanatic. but bro,,,,, bro,,,,,,,,, killer,,,,, lost,,,,,, AND FUCKING HORROR AND DUST LOST TOO!!!! LIKE WHAY. WHAT. PUTTING HORROT AGAINST ERROR AND DUST AGAINST CROSS!!!! THEYRE LITERALLY BOTH THE TWO GUYS THAT (1/2 of them) WON LAAT YEAR!!!! OF COURSE THEYRE GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THE MTT!!!!! this is very upseting im really sad imMAD. but no point in being a sore loser.... mtt won in my HEART 🧡

dust laughing at both horror and killer for getting the shit beaten out of them by error and then they bring up the fact that he lost to CROSS. this is the second time someone in the mtt lost to cross (theyre all making out in the loser's room) (mtt poly real btw)

[yvesbuprofen]

just finished watching x WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

[rainbowgod666]

Back here in italy mickey canonically works for the police and

[ERROR: ENGLISH TRANSLATION FOR "BRUTO GAMBADILEGNO" NOT FOUND]

Is basically a constant criminal but eh. A few times he was interrogated and the INSTANT he gets to see the evidence hes like "HEY WAIT A MOMENT. Thats not me! I was (at home/doing a different crime altoghether/still behind bars) that night!" and when that happens the rat goes "oh fUCK this is gonna take an extra 30 pages or something" and uuuuuuuhm yeah

[euclydya]

at one point the entirety of theCN live block was lost media???!!!! or at least partially lost???? what the fuck what the aFUCK!

[bluecollarmcandtf]

Bros, Bros, and more Bros

I made a mistake! My cousin told me about this fortune teller that cast a spell on him. Apparently, it made every man he ran into act like a fatherly figure in his life. I had an awesome dad, but I've always struggled to connect with guys my own age, so I tracked the witch down and begged her for another spell. She eventually came around, but the effects aren't quite what I expected...

"Sup, dude! Wanna skip and hit the park?"

My eyes stretch wide to take in the sight of my own father, carrying a skateboard over his shoulder like it's the most natural thing in the world. He's been acting like this for weeks; not washing his hair, barely even washing himself, and constantly wearing that stupid cap backwards. He's lost any sense of his old self!

"Dad, it's Monday. You've got work," I reply, not wanting him to piss his boss off.

"Work blows!" he sneers, "I hate wearing this stupid tie, and I'd rather hang with you, bro."

I sigh as my father tosses down his skateboard and extends a palm, pulling me into a cliche bro-hug where he claps me on the back. My dad used to give out hugs all the time, but it was never as performatively masculine as this. All this stupid curse did was turn my father into an 40 year-old frat guy.

"You're going to work," I say firmly, "And I'm going to school. We can play videogames or whatever when we get back later tonight."

"Bruuhhh!" he groans, "Fine. I'll catch you later, dude. There's pizza in the fridge if you want."

The idea of leftover pizza this early in the morning makes my stomach ache. My dad used to cook an entire meal every morning, complete with fruits and veggies. Now, he'd probably settle for a bag of chips.

The man leaves the skateboard behind and grabs his suit jacket, pulling it on with an attitude. He gives me one last head nod before bounding out of the house, hair flowing behind him. I imagine it's only a matter of time before my dad's boss is fed up with his new persona. I can't imagine a bro-personality is very conducive to getting work done in a corporate office. Hopefully, he'll mature soon.

With an empty stomach, I saunter out of the kitchen and walk to campus. I'm grateful to live close to the university. Hopefully, my curse won't get in the way of my day.

"Hey, how's my favorite student doing, bro?"

My professor yells and breaks into a goofy grin at the sight of me. I close the door to his office to give us a bit of privacy. Mr. Carlton only acts like this when I stop by, so his colleagues would be shocked to see such a drastic shift in his usually stoic personality.

"I'm good, Professor Carlton," I say, "I wanted to check on my grade for this course."

"No need to be so formal, dude," he smiles, clapping me on the back, "You can call me Daniel. Want a drink? I have some bourbon."

"I'm good. I really just-"

"Relax, bro," my professor says, shoving a glass in my hand, filled to the brim, "This is good stuff. I save it for special occasions, so sit down! Kick your shoes off! I don't care!"

The department head pulls off his suit jacket and leans back in his chair, propping his feet up on the desk and stretching his arms behind his head. I'd never seen the man act so unprofessional, but ever since the curse, he's started treating me like his closest buddy.

"Professor...sorry...Daniel, I just wanted to hear about my grade."

"I got you, bro!" he laughed, "Just keep doing what you're doing. I don't care if you don't show up!"

My shoulders relax. That's what I want to hear. It's not that I don't want to attend his lectures, but the last time I did, he started acting like a jackass in front of the entire class of 50 students. His presentation went from ancient monetary systems to ratings of best celebrity nip-slips. It's a miracle he didn't get fired!

"Ok, good. I have to go," I say checking the time, "And you have class in 20 minutes."

"Shit, I know," he groans and gulps down the rest of his booze, "Another day another dollar, I guess. When can we hang out, man? Tonight? I really wanna hang out with my guy."

"Nope, sorry!" I tense up and grab my backpack, "Good luck with the lecture."

"Right on, bro," he holds a sad hand up for a high-five, swallowing the rest of the drink he poured me.

I give my tipsy professor a halfhearted clap and scamper out of the office as quickly as possible. These interactions make me cringe so hard when a grown man acts young and cool for me. It's especially awkward to see such a respected individual sink to such a low level. What would we even do if he came over?

"Dude! Long time, no see!"

In the hallway, I run into the football coach and two of the team's best players. The three of them look like they're getting back from an early morning conditioning session. They're all sweaty, panting, and happy to see me.

"Oh, hey," I muster, feeling increasingly less cool around these jocks. I hate to admit it, but guys like this wouldn't give me the time of day before I got that bro-curse.

"Hey, man! You gotta come hang out with us," the brunette grins, "The team's still changing, but you're cool to come in the locker room!"

"Yeah, bro!" the blonde quickly adds, "We'd love to have you in there!"

My heart pounds faster and faster. This is why I've never been able to connect with guys my own age. I find myself boning up every time they look in my direction. Now that these two athletes are practically begging for me to join them in the locker room, my erection is bursting out of my pants!

"We can take care of that too," the coach suddenly mentions, pointing a finger at the tent I'm trying to hide in my crotch.

"What?" I stammer with a dry mouth.

"What do you think bros are for?" the coach continues, clapping his two players on the back, "My boys would be happy to help a brother out!"

The two football jocks nod. It feels like I'm dreaming, and I don't know what to do. Before I can decide, the two athletes have approached and grabbed me by the arm. Their grips are firm, and I realize I'm being escorted into the changing room whether I like it or not!

"Who's this guy?"

My stomach drops as I enter the locker room, finding an array of footballers in different states of dress. They all glance up at me with confusion, like I'm not supposed to be there, but then their faces soften. The gypsy's magic sets in, and they don't see a stranger when they look at me. They see their bro.

"Oh, it's you, bro," the same jock says, letting down his guard. I think I recognize him as the quarterback.

"Oh yeah, dude!" the massive lineman stands up and pulls me into a sweaty hug, "Glad you're here!"

"That's right guys," the brunette at my side says, still holding me tightly in place, "Our best bud is here, and he needs some attention."

My face flushes as I suddenly remember the problem poking out between my legs. By now, the entire football team is staring at it. If anything, it's only become more rock solid.

"Let me take care of that for you, bro," the quarterback says, grabbing my crotch without any hesitation.

"Move, I'll do it," says the lineman, pushing the quarterback out of the way and getting on his knees. He opens his mouth wide and-

"Shut up, all of you!" the coach suddenly roars! The locker room falls silent: these athletes are really well trained. "If we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it right. Line up!"

"Yes, coach!"

The jocks back up and form a line in front of the lockers. Even the blonde and brunette that were holding me, release and join the rest of the team on the bench. Suddenly, I'm standing with the coach, looking at an entire team of well-disciplined football players. My throbbing erection is very apparent and pointing right at the small crowd of muscular men.

"Our bro deserves to be kept satisfied, right?" the coach slams a hand on my back.

"Yes, coach!" they shout back.

"So we don't just want to get our boy off once and move on, now do we?" he punctuates his question with another slap, this time lower on my back.

"No, coach!"

"We're going to set up a system for us to get him off whenever he needs it!"

"Yes, coach!"

The broad-shouldered and balding coach gives me one more slap, clapping me on the ass this time while staring into my eyes. "I'm gonna have my boys take turns sucking you off, bro. You just tell me which one's your favorite. Sound cool?"

I manage to mumble my assent, and with one look from coach, the quarterback is on his knees crawling towards my crotch. He pulls down my pants and unleashes my aching hard-on. "I got you, bro," he says, before putting his mouth to work.

After a few minutes, the coach pulls the jock off my pole and orders the linebacker to get busy. Before long, it's the brunette's turn, then the blonde's. I cycle through all 30 of the team's exceptional players, and I've gotten off more than just a few times. It's impossible to choose a favorite.

At the end of it all, the coach pushes the last player aside and says, "My turn, bro," before opening his mouth as wide as he can.

The entire football team watches as I spend the next 15 minutes just filling their coach's eager throat. When I'm finally done, I feel completely spent. I swap numbers with each jock and am repeatedly promised that they will be available whenever I call, but it isn't enough. They want to hang out with me now. They want to go out and party. I find it too difficult to say 'no' to a group of 30 eager athletes, so I let them sweep me up and take me to the nearest bar.

Needless to say, we end up causing a bit too rowdy of a scene.

"I got a complaint about a bunch of college idiots causing a ruckus. Would that be you?"

The officer was all business when he first walked in the bar. My football bros were dancing and yelling, barely even paying attention to the policeman scowling at the wild scene in front of him. He looked pissed, and his glare only softened when it found me.

"Woah, didn't know you were here, man," the cop says, cracking a slight grin on his hardened face.

"Well, I am!" I cry, feeling the effects of all the drinks my bros had been buying for me, "You should forget about work and party with us!"

"You got it, dude! Screw this badge!" the officer yells, pulling me into a tight embrace. I guess the bro-curse even works on law-enforcement!

Just like that, I'm dancing with a policeman in the middle of the dance floor. He doesn't have any moves, but he loosens up after we get some beer down his throat. The football team loves watching the cop party right alongside them. Apparently, this guy has broken up many of their parties in the past.

"Drink! Drink! Drink!"

The officer gulps down his seventh beer and slams the glass on the floor. It breaks, but the shattering is largely drowned out by the music. His onlookers go wild, but I can see the intoxication on his face. Beer is plastered around his mouth and dripping down his neck to soak into his uniform. I doubt this man has ever been this drunk in uniform before.

He stumbles over and throws a muscled arm over my shoulder, "Come here, bro. Let's do some shots or something!"

"I think it might be time to call it a night, officer," I yell in his ear.

"Oh, screw that!" he whines, "And don't call me officer! It's so formal!"

"Ok, what should I call you?"

"I dunno..." he mutters, "Buck! Call me Buck. That's what my wife calls me."

I roll my eyes at the mention of his wife. Of course this guy is taken. He's a complete stud of man. I've always liked a guy in uniform.

"How'd you like to come home with me tonight, Buck?" I ask sheepishly.

He lights up, "Bro, I thought you'd never ask!"

The cop grabs my arm with a wicked grin and stomps his way towards the door, dragging me along like I'm the prize he won at a fair. The players on the football team all stare at him with envy, mad that he's stealing their new best friend away for the night. I could see how badly each one of the jocks wished they were the one having a sleepover with me tonight.

"Hop in, I'll drive," officer Buck slurs his words and gestures to the police cruiser with his free hand.

"I think I'll handle the driving, if that's alright," I say, "Just hand over the keys."

"Anything for you, bro."

"Looks like someone got lucky!"

"Oh my God. Dad you're still up?"

"Bro, you said you'd play videogames tonight and then you never showed! What was I supposed to do?" he retorts, unbothered by the late hour or the cop hanging on my arm.

"You have to go to work in 4 hours!" I scream, "And you haven't even changed out of today's work clothes! What are you thinking?"

"Chill, bro," my dad says, turning to the drunk policeman holding my hand, "Take him to the bedroom and show him a good time. I'm sure you were going to, but the dude could use some extra help relaxing tonight."

The sound of my own father encouraging the man I brought home to 'show me a good time' makes me question everything again. My dad just witnessed his son bringing home a cop that's the same age as him. He doesn't even care! I want to tell him to grow up and be the man I used to know, but Buck is already jerking on my arm.

"Let's go, bro," he mumbles lowly, using his strong arms to drag me into the bedroom.

"Enjoy your new cop friend, bro!" my father calls and I hear the sounds of his videogames start back up.

I barely have time to worry about any of it. Has this curse gone too far? Will my dad make it to work tomorrow? Does Buck have a wife I need to worry about!?

It all goes away when I'm thrown on the bed. The intoxicated officer flips the lights down low, and stumbles in front of me. He may be drunk, but he is certainly not a disappointment. The cop stares down at me as he rips his state-issued hat off and unbuttons his dark uniform shirt, all the while moving his hips to the beat of gunfire from dad's videogame in the living room.

With his hairy chest exposed, he crawls on top of me and whispers in my ear, "Where do you want me to start? Us bros gotta look out for each other, don't we?"

[alphajocklover]

hey there. I—-iiii—-I’m sorry, I’m a lil a little ner nervous here. I have this uh, like, um, shy. Uh. Shy persona. Im a nerdyaverage gay dude. And I wanna be able to talk in front of like um crowds. Actually I um, had something in mind. I wanna become a big, jacked jock straight comedian. Telling hilarious and sometimes cringe and crude jokes. Getting egged on by my maybe like um, frat bros or something to tell like obnoxious straight dude joke or something. Yeah. Like super douchebag funny guy muscle straight bro who is the life of the party. Young and dumb dude. Is there anything you have that could make this a reality?

It’s nice to meet you Mike! You don’t mind if I call you Mike do you? I know it’s not your name, but I don’t love using real names in my work… also, if I do this right your name could actually be Mike soon. I think that’s a good name for a straight douchebag comedian. It’s kind of a pun actually, a play on open Mike. You could call yourself Mike Dick. Get it, cause it sounds like ‘my dick’? Not funny huh? I’ll admit I’m not the best at this, but you’re the one who wants to be a comedian, not me. And I’m going to tell you how. You need to do what everyone who has stage fright needs to do. You need to get up on that stage… and just start talking.

I bet you're probably very confused right now. I know that the very idea of talking in front of people fills you with dread, and you came to me so you could get that confidence, not some cheesy advice. But I swear to you that I’m not just giving you empty platitudes. When you get up on the stage, in that spotlight, everything will be ok. Not because you believe in yourself, but because that spotlight is being powered by a very special battery. You might remember my supernova transformations, from my earliest stories. You might also remember that I was able to take some of the energy from it using a special solar panel and put it in a battery. While it turns out that if you use that battery to power a light source… It has an interesting effect. Any guy caught in its rays has they’re wish granted, while also being turned into a jock.when I discovered this I thought maybe I had finally found out how InstaJock works, but the transformation isn’t instant, and I’m not sure if you could get that energy to travel through an app or anything, so it’s probably something else.

Anyways, head on up! At first you’ll be your regular, shy and geeky self, but as you bask in the spotlight and start to open up, you’ll slowly change. Your muscles will slowly grow, your body and face becoming more chiseled, and your sense of humor will slowly become more… raunchy. Thoughtful comedy will slowly turn into cheap punchlines about ‘stupid queers’ and crude stories about ‘crazy bitches with huge tits’. Your audience might not like your new style, but a confident stud like you doesn’t care about what losers like that think, and you’ll be certain to get a following of beefy straight douchebags in no time. Especially if you turn that spotlight on the audience. Have fun, and try to use that spotlight responsibly. The battery won’t last forever, and I’m not going to give you a second one.

[yawn-junn]

☆When Your On Your Period☆

☆Special Thanks Too: Riize

☆Note: no one asked for this but I need comfort for mine rn so like...idk lmfao enjoy sometimes I worry that people don't actually like my content lmfaoo numbers are toxic y'all

☆TW: mentions of blood : cramps : stains on clothes and bed sheets : embarrassment :

☆Taglist: @eumppappasgrippers @mxlly143

10-5-23

Ｗｏｎｂｉｎ

Wonbin woke up before you, as a usual part of his mornings when your there he tends to watch you sleep this time however when you rolled over he noticed a small pool of blood on your pants and the bed he picked you up and took you to the bathroom ridding the blood covered pants and putting them in the washer before coming back running a bath for you before waking you up once he got you cozy in the bath he rushed to get new bed sheets and wash the other ones before you could see if you were still in the tub when he came back he'd sit on the floor next to the tub and keep you company

Ｓｏｈｅｅ

A small gasp came from behind you "are you ok Yn?" sohee asked "yeah why wouldn't I be" you giggled trying to understand what this dude was on about "your bleeding on your butt" he said pointing to it your eyes winded before you rushed to the bathroom "Sohee" you stuck your head out the door "gimme one of your pants" you said not waiting for a response before shutting the door after a minute Sohee put two and two together making sure your extra comfy when you come back

Ｓｈｏｔａｒｏ

Lowkey has mom vibes like idk if I said it before but this dude would look up cookie recipes for you like imagine --"Yn honey are you ok?" He asked from outside the door "I'll go make something for you come sit in the living room"-- if it's that time of month goes above and beyond for your comfort if you eat a lot during this he will scold you and have you walk it off once your finished with your moon cycle

Ｓｕｎｇｃｈａｎ

You and Sungchan were taking a daily nap much to your request when he noticed a small thing of red from underneath you apoun further inspection he noticed it was blood quickly waking you up "Yn go to the bathroom and change I have a thing of pads under my sink for you" he said shaking you awake changing the bedding while you were gone once you came back he made sure to cuddle you and for comfort you if you were embarrassed by it

Ｓｅｕｎｇｈａｎ

Oh my gosh he's so boyfriend anyway you and seunghan decided to have a sleep over it was a rare time where the two of you had an off week together and mother nature ruined it for you "well anyway-" you tried to finish your sentence when suddenly you started crying panic set in Seunghan as he tried to tend to you "I just love you so much" you sobbed snuggling into his neck "you panicked me" he spoke softly rubbing your back suddenly you roughly pushed him away "I'm hungry" you said before storming off starring at the wall in confusion he realized it must be that time he rushed off the couch to quickly check if you have any pads or tampons

Ｅｕｎｓｅｏｋ

You and Eunseok were cuddling on the couch watching movies and eating together when you suddenly jumped up and ran to the toilet "did the fast food effect her that much-" he whispered to himself before setting his food on the coffee table making his way to the bathroom door "you ok?" He asked "are the stores still open" you groaned in pain "yeah they are why-" he asked in confusion and worry "ok I need you to pick me up some pads if you can" you said hunching over in pain "oh yeah for sure" he spoke before rushing out the door

Ａｎｔｏｎ

"Um....Yn" Anton softly spoke from behind you quickly taking his jacket off before wrapping it around your waist "here I'll walk you to the bathroom I brought extra pants for you just in case something like this happened" he whispered in your ear making sure only you heard "your a life saver Anton" you spoke taking the new pants from him

[hibiscusseaart]

ok so i have some Tobirama thoughts cuz i watch Naruto rn and over analyzing everything

but whatever i need this character study to get my characterisation of him straight.

So basically I just thinking over what an ass Tobirama is towards the Uchiha clan

and a disclaimer: i love Tobirama he's my fav, I just want to understand him better and PLEASE share your own opinions too! i feel like im making a whole paper on him or smth

Tobirama was basically "I separated Uchiha in their own compound from the main cast of the village and ordered them to make a police force (and everyone knows how people "love" cops, especially in military settlement) not because I hate them. They're just dangerous and prone to mental instability (thinking of Madara much? Dude if ppl feel love intensely, and you don't, it fucking doesn't mean they're mentally ill). But I know some good Uchiha (Kagami who was under his command?? and Itachi who massacred the whole clan for the village????) so I don't hate Uchiha."

Like okay, he doesn't hate hate them, but he IS prejudged af. As much as I like to read stories where he isn't like this and kinda more forgiving, in canon he is an ass.

And honestly it makes sense for Tobirama to be like that (I'm not defending him, I'm just trying to lay his thought process down). Like he fought with Uchiha for most of his life and he doesn't have pink glasses on his nose like Hashirama. He knows they're dangerous and he learned to mistrust them since they're enemy.

And he has his own theories about Sharingan, but basically he thinks that bitches are so sensitive, they can't handle a little hurt and loss.

I honestly think that he's wrong, like I think Sharingan awakens by high levels of stress (maybe cortisol levels shoot up suddenly?) Tobirama is only one man who tried to understand that and he barely interreacted with Uchiha personally.

Ok i just found this but bitch really came up with this theory based on rumors. Dude, please stop spreading misinformation.

Though we don't know their medical progress at this point, so maybe he really didn't know? Like he didn't have enough medical knowledge to get this theory straight. He has his special interest in making jutsu and you don't need to know people well enough. You just need to know how to kill them effectively.

Also, dude, if you (or maybe Senju in general) don't react as strong as the Uchiha, it doesn't mean they're mentally ill or cursed.

Oh and Tobirama thinks he's done GOOD for Uchiha. I mean his brother thinks it's slight for the Uchiha to get separated, living near prison and being avoided by village since they're the police force, but for Tobirama it's a job well done cuz it helped the village. He's a practical man who doesn't even think about feelings like that.

I think with Konoha he kinda played the game like SimSity but IRL. Optimised and used the resources he had to do the best working village. You don't think about sims' feelings when you make them pay higher taxes or make them live near dumpster just cuz you think it's okay and they will manage, right?

Before it was his brother to care for this kind of stuff. But then he died (how the fuck btw? I hc it was a disease but damn in some timelines he died when he was like 42 but damn WHAT could've killed The God of Shinobi) and Tobirama stayed alone. I assume his family wasn't much help and they had a 1st war near, so Tobirama had to work fast and efficient.

just a funny strip "You don't know him like I do"

I think Tobirama was also offended at Madara since he tried to destroy the village he put a lot of work into (lets be real, Tobirama doing most of administrative work is basically canon, not a headcanon, it sits way too right)

Plus I think Tobirama like many people was impressed + scared of Madara. Like he's crazy strong and ofc you're afraid, I get it. But Madara is an exception, not the rule. He's just a freak of nature + I think being Indra reincarnation had its influence too. It's not the whole Uchiha clan, but Tobirama judges them like he'd judge Madara.

Maybe he's a bit paranoid. Understandable since being a ninja and it's what keeps you alive, but this lack of trust really showed through all of the history between Tobirama and Uchiha clan.

Okay maybe hc territory, but I think Tobirama doesn't get emotions much in general. He's very autistic coded and, being on the spectrum myself, I can get where he's coming from. I trained my empathy cuz not having one is considered wrong. Tobirama probably didn't cuz no one told him to or he didn't consume this type of content in his childhood (i trained myself by cartoons lol). He cares, but he doesn't get feelings and makes these kinds of theories, based on rumors (damn dude fact check please).

Maybe since he doesn't get emotions much he's used to depend on other people in this regard? Like people start saying these rumors and he watches himself and is like "Yeah that seems possible" especially since Madara got his big drama time about Izuna. He has big feelings = has strong Sharingan. It is plausible.

I dont think Tobirama wanted to check it for sure, since 1) WHO will let the White demon near their precious eyes to help him understand how they work; 2) it's not his point of interest. he had village to run, jutsu to make, kids to teach. the bitch was busy and it's only 24 h/day

so yeah Tobirama had his reasons but he's an ass lol. like dude did start this chain of Uchiha slander and then when they were massacred he was like "Oh boohoo they self destructed what a pity" DUDE 😭

[eddiernunson]

Take it Slow | Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader | 18+

Blurb from my long form Eddie x Fem!Reader story Trapped (go check it out if you're in the mood for a long read)

This is just the smut. There is some missing in-story context that wasn't necessary to the smut...and a bit of fluff but anywho. so that's what [...] means.

Warnings: public grinding, (not public sex), teasing, a slow bj, slut shaming, dirty talk, a bit use of y/n, aftercare, oral (both), lap dance...I think that's it

I'm actually quite proud of this part. It takes place after they just get together and but don't have any time to spend over the week with one another so they just get revved up.

Word Count: 4.9 k

You finally reach the hellfire table, all members looking up at you as you approach, Eddie with a wild look in his eye. “Uh, hello,” You greet, gulping.

“Hi, sweetheart,” Eddie gets up, walking around his bandmembers. “Come on over.” He grabs your hand, yanking you to where he was sat. Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, is the only thing on your mind.

Jared is looking at Eddie bewildered, seeing a new side of Eddie Munson he’s never seen before. “So, this the girl you were telling us about, Ed?”

As you’re sat on his lap, you glance at him, your eyes wide in surprise. “You told them about me?”

Mike looks around him, bewildered. “Am I the only one that didn’t know about these two? I mean I knew she liked him but I didn’t know they got together.”

“That’s cause the only thing you’re interested in right now is El,” You comment, Nancy’s complaints fresh on your mind. “on the phone, for hours.”

Dustin glances looks to him, shocked. As his friends are judging him with wide smiles, you grab a slice of melon, tossing it into your mouth, amused. Eddie pulls you tighter into his arms, proud. “Dude, hours?” Dustin asks, his brows raised to his curls. “C’mon.”

Mike’s nose is scrunched up, his brows knitted together. “There’s no way she could know that! She’s lying.”

You smile evilly, glancing at Nancy who is at your normal table sat next to Robin. “I mean, I’ve watched my fair share of movie marathons in your basement, Wheeler. You don’t think we see that the line is busy for 120 consecutive minutes?”

The table breaks into laughter, and your stomach finally calms down. Gareth starts bringing up an idea for the newest campaign for Lucas’ character, a joke character he and Dustin invented on the phone with Will one night. As the conversation continues and you can’t contribute, you settle into his lap.

Eddie doesn’t talk much, not nearly as much as he would’ve liked to. Your skirt is short enough to the point where it barely covers your ass, therefore your pretty pink panties poking out and almost nothing between your hot cunt and his jeans.

You notice his lack of participation eventually, leaning back to where your back against his chest, your mouth against his ear. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

Nothing was wrong. Especially now, where your ass is at an angle where it can finally run against the hard-on he was nursing. “Nothing, sweetheart. Just enjoying my time with you.”

As soon as you leaned back, you felt Eddie’s hard cock against your ass, realizing why he was so uncharacteristically quiet. You pretended not to notice. Just enjoying my time with you, my ass, you thought. Much to his dismay, you stay quiet too, pretending to adjust yourself by wiggling on him, leaning forward to grab your juice, licking your lips as you glance back to tell him something, you really rub the salt in his wound.

“Eddie, you okay?” Dustin asks, naïve and unassuming. He had just noticed Eddie wasn’t saying much.

“Of course! Sore hip from rehearsing so much lately, is all.” Eddie explains grimacing while he rubs his hip for special effect.

Gareth laughs audibly, a little too loud. “Sure, Eddie. You’re sore from rehearsing so much. Mhm.” Josh gives Gareth a fist bump, and suddenly you wonder if Eddie has told anything to his friends like you had to yours. Was Eddie ok if you did? Were you ok if he did?

Eddie hasn’t, not exactly open about his love life when he realized some of his own friends had the wrong idea about him. He shrugged at Gareth, pretending not to know what he was talking about. He didn’t sway them either way, [...erased some unnecessary backstory from story...it got long.]

When you sat forward in his lap, chewing on some fruit while listening intently as Dustin started explaining their campaign, you started subtly wiggled your ass, pulling Eddie out of his downward spiral, remembering how just hard he was.

As you wiggled you could feel his cock start to get harder, and you could feel how wet you were. If you weren’t careful, you would be leaving a very wet stain on his jeans. I should stop, you realized, Eddie leaning back and staring at the ceiling for strength. You hopped to one leg, throwing your leg so you were sitting bridal style.

“You stopped.” He states, his brown eyes staring into yours.

“Yeah well the next step was a little too much for the public eye.” You said, staring at into his eyes, them pulling you like a gravity. Next thing you knew, you were kissing him, your mouth feeling electric against his. He inserted his tongue into your mouth, silk against your own as he had complete control over you. Eddie’s arm wrapped around your waist, you feeling his strong arm hold you.

Far off, somewhere in the distance you hear Lucas say, “Okay, we get it. You like each other chill out.”

The arm around you lifts flipping them off, and you remember something you pictured very clearly last week in a dark atmosphere. There you were, picturing kissing him on his lap at lunch as he told you he wants to show off the person he’s dating.

Here he was showing, you off, one of his hands framing your face and you melted. One of his friends come up to you, you hear “Get a room” and Eddie swats them off, not giving a shit.

Eddie finally pulls away from you, lips shiny and your core aching from the lack of attention. Your thighs clench together, a dead giveaway to Eddie that you are wanting it just as much as he is and pulling away was the right thing to do. “You okay, princess?”

You stare back at him, eyelids half open. “Yeah,” you reply, your voice giving away just how smitten you were with him. “I will need convincing to go to math, though.”

Eddie laughs, tightening his arms around you as he wraps you into a hug. “Hey, uh, guys.” Dustin says. You both separate, looking at him expectantly. “You’re adorable and all, but, I’m getting sick from looking at ya.”

“Seriously, what did you do to him?” Mike asks, mourning the loss of the terribly cool dude he worshipped. (Truth is that version of Eddie was just a very edited version of a person Eddie chose to show.) “He’s whipped, now.”

You glare at Mike, your nostrils flared. “Two hours, Mike! Don’t even start with me Mr. I can’t wait to hold your hand again.” Eddie chuckles under you, hiding his amusement in your shoulder.

[...]

-

[...]

-

Eddie finally opened his trailer door with a large smack, him grinning manically. “So do you-“ Well, Eddie was about to ask you if you wanted something to eat, but you couldn’t even wait that long. You practically jump into him, planting your lips onto his, sliding his tongue onto yours. “Holy shit,” Eddie gasps between kisses.

“Shut up,” you mutter, wanting to make good use of his tongue. “Just kiss me.”

Eddie laughs into your mouth, all giggles and smiles. He follows your request wordlessly, opening his mouth wider. As you continue to kiss, wet, and slick, a certain buzz went through you, tingling from your core up to your chest, causing you to forget how to breathe. You let go of his lips, gasping for air. “Remember to breathe, baby, breathe,” Eddie chuckles, rasping into your mouth.

“Your lips taste too good to remember to breathe, Ed,” you say, just higher than a whisper.

He rasps back, “You’re so eager, sweetheart.”

As you’ve been kissing, Eddie has been moving you both slowly, unsure of where you were headed. He had his room in mind initially, but somehow ended up in the kitchen. Your feet hit the floor of the tiles, the transition of carpet to smooth titles startling you. You feel Eddie’s smile turn up wider, chuckling at the way you let out a surprised gasp when your feet hit the tiles. It was only two more steps before you bump into the counter. As soon as Eddie feels your torso bump into the bottom cupboards, his hands make their way to your hips, lifting you effortlessly onto the granite.

The feeling of the hard countertop hits your ass, your legs wrapping around Eddie’s waist without any hesitation. “What are you wanting, princess?” Eddie asks, moving his lips to your jaw, his tongue feeling like heaven tingling your throat.

“I just want you,” you answer honestly. You couldn’t necessarily remember wanting Eddie in any specific ways, you just wanted him.

Eddie tightens his grip on your hips, causing you to hiss. “Princess,” he says, sounding sterner. “What the fuck would you like me to do to you.”

You grasp at his face, putting his lips back to yours. “I really want us to take it slow.” You admit softly. “I loved this morning but it went by too quickly, happened too fast.”

He smiled at your admission, one hand raising to your hair. “Oh we can do that.”

You continue kissing him, tilting your head when required and doing your best to copy what he’s doing. After a bit, you couldn’t tell how long, he slips his strong arms under your ass, supporting you surprisingly well. He lifts you, straddling his hips, feeling his already hard cock poking you through his jeans. He takes you to his room and sits on his bed, where you straddle his lap.

Your sleeves are too long for you, Eddie’s jacket consuming your hands. You’re already struggling with the sleeves when Eddie takes his hands from your hips to your shoulders, helping you take off his jacket. “You look so beautiful today, sweetheart.”

Your cheeks heat up in response, your forehead leant against his. “Grab my ass,” you request, your skin burning from the lack of contact.

Eddie’s mouth watered from this request alone, smoothing his hands along your thighs before he grabs your ass, still above on the fabric of your barely there skirt.

Your noses were touching, your lips brushing against one another’s when you realize what Eddie was doing, still teasing on you. Shit, you were so close to kissing. You lift your skirt up, having his hands drop directly down to the apples of your butt. It feels phenomenal when his hands finally grab your non covered ass cheeks. “Harder, please.” Eddie chuckles, more than willing to fulfill your desires. You let a small moan out, just enough to get Eddie riled up.

After Eddie finally grabs your ass properly, you whine into it, your face all twisted up. Subconsciously you’re craving some friction, your hips moving down to grind up against his lap. Your cunt was only protected by the cotton pink panties you wore, your heat against his hard cock. Eddie wanted to rip off your clothes and fuck himself into you as soon as he felt your cunt against him, holding back with a high amount of struggle. For the moment, he settled with “Oh, f-fuck, can’t wait to put my cock in you.”

Right after Eddie says this you rip off his shirt you were wearing, toss it into the wind.

Eddie brings your slinky little strap on your shoulder down, causing half your tiny shirt to fall, sultrily hanging off your shoulder. He takes in the sight of you on his lap, your cunt right against his cock and your face already looking fucked out. The very sight of you already so blissed with him makes him groan, internally smiling.

He leans in, kisses your cupid’s bow, soft and sweet. You almost can’t take it, wanting more than soft and sweet. You wanted him, wanted so much more. His hand travels from your back to your breast, lightly massaging it to start. You whine lightly, encouraging him to put in more force behind it, massaging harder. This new reaction is just the thing Eddie wants to hear. “Is this slow enough, or should I go slower?” Eddie teases, lifting your exposed bra off your now budded nipple.

He leans into your chest, his tongue hanging deliciously from his mouth as he leans into your exposed tit. When his tongue finally reaches contact with your budded nipple it’s far too light, a teasing touch, if anything. You lean forward, an effort to gain more contact against his tongue, but he leans back, knowing exactly what your plan was. “Patience, or I will make you wait longer,” Eddie said, only lightly moving his tongue on your nipple.

You groan, annoyed and now wanting more. Your pussy clenches and you remember his cock still underneath you from the reaction of it twitching. Instead of moping, you start to roll your hips on him again, as you do so his mouth instinctively moving straight into sucking on your nipple, teeth grazing against it as if forgetting about making you wait.

You thought he was being accidental, but he was really just rewarding you. He leaves wet kisses on your breast, starting to move down with kisses between the valley of your boobs but his hand massaging the other boob he hasn’t touched yet. He sists up, moving towards your shoulder to lightly bite down to tease you even more. “I can’t wait to fuck you,” he mutters between small bites.

You sit above him, your hand now hovers over his cock. Kissing him hot and heavy, your tongue dancing with his own in an expert dance you two have already memorized, you silently ask if you’re able to put your hand down his pants. “Are you sure?” Eddie nods vigorously, his cock twitching at the idea of you touching him again. Eddie had the thought of you to get him through the week, but fucking into his own hand pretending it was your pussy clenching around him did nothing compared to your real thing.

“I’m sure,” You lightly tease, starting to cup him over his pants. Eddie’s head leans back against his wall when you finally but barely touch him, his eyes rolled back into his head. It wasn’t very long before his hips are bucking, begging you for more. “Please more,” he begs, his voice raspy and breathing heavy. “Baby, give me more, please.”

You can’t help but remember when Eddie was being a shithead in World Geo class, lightly teasing you through your panties. It was funny, how much he liked to tease you, considering how he buckles under your touch the moment you so much as softly graze on him. This man loved to tease you, but he was still a goddamn virgin when you met him. You unbuckle his handcuff belt, with only a slight struggle in working the mechanics of it. Eddie offered to help, his thumbs looping underneath his both his briefs and his jeans.

You glance up at him, blinking as if to say, What do you think you’re doing? You tap his hand lightly, causing the band of the briefs to snap back down against his hips. “Slow, remember, baby?”

Eddie groans, impatient. You had a feeling he would give the same energy back when he had the chance, but you felt your pussy become wetter at the very idea of it. You welcomed the idea. You let his jeans fall to his knees, his cock on now tenting in his briefs. Your mouth watered at the very sight of it, wanting to feel the weight of it on your tongue. If anything, sucking his cock got you off as much as it did him.

Despite these wants, you grab at the side of his tented tock, putting your mouth on his cock over his briefs, your hot breath causing him to jolt his hips up. The thought occurs to you, and you hesitate very faintly, your hand pressing against his cock as you think about it for only a second. One second is all it takes, the idea taking over your brain and almost being too much for you to handle. Your tongue leaves your mouth, using it against his girth and fully being able to taste the cotton of his briefs. The cotton was unpleasant, but the way he instantly flung his head back with his thighs flexing hard all worth it.

You mouth him more, your tongue finally used to the cottony feeling. “Jesus fucking Christ, princess.” He whimpers, his voice soft and rough, eyes wide open staring at his ceiling.

A few more minutes pass by as you mouth him, teasing all you can and memorizing every moan and whimper that leaves his mouth. By the time your fingers are ready to yank his underwear down too, Eddie was begging you to finally lick his dick, the tent in his underwear was soaked, covered in your saliva. “Please, Y/N. Please, just fucking put your dirty little mouth on my cock.”

You were smirking, yanking his briefs down and putting his cock straight to the back of your throat, taking in as much as you could. You had mentally prepared yourself for him to thrust his hips up, his tip hitting your uvula. As you bob your head, getting a good rhythm, you feel the amount of spit in your mouth increase. Opening your mouth, you let a large amount of saliva drop onto his length, covering his cock in spit, absolutely the most sinful image of anyone he’s ever seen.

Your eyes were focused on his cock, your mouth covered in your own spit as each bob of your head covered him in even more spit, embracing the messy blowjob. Your pretty lips are wrapped around him, one of your hands around the base where you couldn’t reach. Your hair was a beautiful kind of messy, most strands pushed behind your ears but a few strands hanging by your cheek.

Finally, after not being able to tell how much time has passed, long enough for your jaw to hurt, your mouth pulls away with a pop, jerking him off with your hand absentmindedly as you take in his state. Eddie is laying underneath you, his thighs open as yours normally are when he’s making you come undone. You use your forearm to wipe your mouth, the base of his cock now covered and your chin wet.

As soon as you look at him, his eyes open wildly, and before you can register it, he’s sitting up fast and grabbing you into his arms. You crawl onto him, straddling him once more as your panties nearly misses his cock, slightly teasing both him and you. Eddie roughly grabs you by your torso, almost bruising your ribcage. “Let me fuck you now, please.” Eddie pleads, his hips thrusting up as the head of his dick brushes against your panties.

His cock teasing you so makes you moan loudly, resting both hands onto his shoulders.

“See, my little slut also wants my cock inside her sweet little pussy, huh?” He comments.

You glance at him, wondering how he went from falling apart underneath you to amazingly confident/cocky once again. In spite of your momentary wonder his words still made you melt into him, your legs barely being able to hold yourself up. “P-please”, you find yourself begging him anyway.  

Hearing your own contradictions from teasing him playfully to desperately moaning as he teases you moves Eddie to hook your leg and move on-top of you. Your arms cross to take off your top, Eddie watching with appreciating eyes. It was a shame you were so focused on taking of the slinky top of yours, eyes closed because the look in his eyes he was giving you was absolutely depraved. Eddie took you in, eyeing every imperfection, every freckle, every dip and curve of your body.

Eddie grabbed your skirt, pulling it up your torso and over your head. “That’s better”, he muttered, nearly drooling at the sight of your skin all exposed except for your pink panties still grinding against his exposed cock. His hand moves up your thigh, sending shivers down your spine as his finger makes its way through one of your leg holes, sliding itself along your slick. “I-I think you’re even wetter than before.” He comments, sounding stunned. “Did sucking my cock get you off, princess?”

“You sound really good,” you manage to get out as Eddie only lightly treads on your folds. It feels good, but you’re craving more friction, harder. Your knitted eyebrows are a dead giveaway to what you’re thinking.

Eddie had to push passed aside that you just alluded that you were getting off to the sounds of him getting off. “Aww, I thought sweetheart wanted to go slower today?”

Your nails dig into his chest, annoyed. You were really starting to regret asking him this now. “More, please Eddie.”

His name moaned through your lips for the first time was like music to his ears. “Say that again?” He asks, quietly, his fingers pausing to grab your attention.

Your eyes open to see Eddie’s eyes fixated on them, scaring you with how intense they were. “Say what?”

“My name, Y/N. Say it again?”

You smirked and tossed your head back, memorizing the way he looked and sounded. “Keep doing that, and I will.”

Your panties were ripped off your legs without a moments hesitation. Eddie grabbed your legs, pulling your ass down so your pussy is face to face with you. “Oh, I fucking will.” He muttered against your puffy pussy lips, leaning right in and devouring you from the start, almost like he forgot to take his time with you in favour of listening to moan his name again.

Eddie was working his tongue on you, flicking occasionally into your entrance, completely engulfing your juices as you get wetter and wetter. “Look how wet my baby is,” Eddie says, putting emphasis on each word.

You had your hands in his hair, moving it out of his face, getting a better view of how focused he was trying to make you feel good. The sight of him, eyes closed, tongue moving was undeniably perfect, his eyelashes framing his cheeks nicely. Each lick Eddie gave you hit a wave of pleasure through you, your legs tensing and starting to shake.

“Eddie, feels so- fuck feels so good.” You manage, surprised your fucked out brain could even manage to say anything to begin with.

Eddie holds where he is for only one second more after you moan his name, the exact thing he was looking for. He sits up suddenly, his now neglected cock now in his hand, jerking himself off as he repositions himself. “That’s what I was looking for, princess. Now, be a good slut and take my cock, won’t you?”

You nod, eyes watery and cunt feeling sensitive but still slick as Eddie’s words got to you.

He positions himself at your entrance, his cock teasing you. “Please fuck me, please.” You cry out, wanting to feel full.

Eddie slams himself into you, bottoming out without pacing . You don’t even realize what’s happening at first, as he stretches you out and you have to adjust, him slowly thrusting. “Holy f-fuck!” Eddie is groaning, his words a mix of moans and worship. “Your sweet little pussy is so tight- so perfect.”

“Your pussy-“ you manage, grabbing one hand stationed at your hip, and placing it onto your neck. You tap it with your other hand. “Pressure- jugular, not esophagus,” you explain, your cocked out brain needing the feeling of his ringed hand around your throat.

Eddie just barely understands what you’re getting at, then he feels your pulse and gets it. He tightens his grip slightly, you feeling the air loss right away, marvelling in it.

“My, fucking, pussy,” Eddie says, thrusting hard on each word. You tap his arm twice, begging for air. Eddie holds on a second longer and lets go, you feeling light headed with how wild it just drove you. The choking alone brought on the familiar feeling in your stomach, a knot needing to snap open. You move your fingers to your clit, rubbing it to get your high even closer, chasing the feeling.

Eddie watches as your hand goes down, the perfect image to get him closer to his own high. You use your other hand to grab his arm, getting him chest to chest with you. “Kiss me,” you ask, still rubbing your clit.

He goes in, his thrusts getting sloppy as you feel your orgasm is almost there, just around the corner. His kisses feel desperate, like he won’t ever get the chance to taste you and he wants as much as possible. He did want you as much as possible, despite being able to kiss you whenever he could, he was just obsessed with you.

Eddie gnaws on your bottom lip as your cunt starts to clench harder around him, and it’s the final thing that pushes you over the edge. Somehow, you remain kissing him, the feeling of his perfect lips against yours, grounding you. One hand his in his hair, pulling at his scalp almost too hard.

You come down from your high, feeling sleepy. One thought occurs to you, and suddenly your body does it before your brain registers. You curl and twist around onto your knees, in a crawl position, Eddie slipping out for one moment too many.

Eddie stops though, wondering what was going on in that brain of yours. You simply say, “Fuck me as hard as you can, Ed.”

He does, hips snapping into you with such a vigor he would’ve been worried about hurting you if his horny ass brain didn’t take over. Your ass bouncing with every thrust was causing the heat in his tummy to rise. “B-baby, where do you want me to cum?” He asks, on the verge and his throat feeling tighter.

“Inside me, please Ed.” You ask, arching your hips for affect.

Oh shit, that did something to him right there and then, filling you up immediately. You helped a little, moving your ass down as he moved up. “Holy shit, Y/N!” He screams loudly, thrilled to see his cum drooling out of your pussy. “Your little pussy looks fantastic right now, baby.” He says, monitoring his hard work. The white thick cum was drooling out of you, a stunning sight for him to see.

Exhausted, you collapse down from your knees, barely able to hold yourself up. As your face fells forward, your ass is still in the air, giving a huffing Eddie Munson a great view of the white substance trailing down your slit. You heard him huff out a laugh, and you reluctantly sit up to see what was so funny.

As you give him a look that was an odd mix of content and confusion, Eddie’s face broke into a smile, somewhat leant over on the bed right in front of you. “What’s so funny?” you ask him, still in a haze from being dickeddown by him.

Eddie leans over comically, giving you the one up in his eyes. “Nothin’. Just glad you were as horny as I was.” His hand goes up to your face, framing it with his thumb.

Eddie almost leans foreword as if he you, and a part of you craved it after being with him so closely. There’s another part of you that wanted to push him after what he had just said. You let him lean in, his lips somewhat gentle on your own. He deepens it, letting your tongue slide with his. You give in to this for about two minutes before you push him away, getting him back. “I resent that. “I resent that. I might’ve been just as horny but with a face and hands like those can you blame me?”

He leant forward, lightly knocking his forehead against your own. “Alright there, sweetheart. I’m going to go grab you a cloth. Stay put.”

You laugh without humour, wondering where you would rather be. Only place is nice and naked in your boyfriend’s bed. He yanks it out of reach when you grab for it again, insisting he would clean you up. The heat of the damp towel on your pussy surprising the shit out of you. “Jesus, warn a girl!”

“It’s more fun to surprise you!” Eddie laughs, still being gentle with you and cleaning all the damp slick on the bottom your thighs right below your ass. He tosses the cloth somewhere onto the floor, and crawls up so he can lie down with you.

Your head lands on the pillow as Eddie lands on his side right in front of you, his arm bent and on your torso. He leans up to grab his blanket, displaying it across you and him. “What time is it?” you ask, sleepy and ready for a nap.

Eddie grabs your wrist, and lets it down with a plop. “Almost 5’oclock.”

“Are you gonna nap with me?” Your eyes are closed now, feeling safe as he pets your hair.

“Maybe. I can make sure you don’t sleep for three hours if you need.” You nodded your head, the blanket now feeling soft and just right.

“Get some sleep, then, sweetheart.” Is the last thing you hear before you drift off, his scent and the weight of his arm feeling like heaven around you.

As Eddie watches your chest expand and depress and your eyelashes against your cheeks, he was thinking, God I could get used to this.

-

Please lemme know what you think, or if you want to be tagged in my smut only blurbs. I do plan on posting more blurb, but there will be several smut scenes that only people who read the full story get.

Thanks for all the love on the last one!

[variousqueerthings]

omg dude (gn) you got into due south? I've followed you for a long time bc mash, I love it when people I know from other fandoms get into my most beloved stuff <3 check out @ds30below btw if you're interested, it's an anniversary fest I run with a lof of fun stuff etc etc! and have funnnnn it's such a great show!

helloooooooo

yes, a bunch of mutuals have been going wild over it for a hot sec and it was Time!

I'm on episode 3 (not counting the pilot) and I have a lot of initial Thoughts to bring over from the discord onto this illustrious site, so i will use this ask as An Excuse:

Frasier is really introduced as an Archetype of masculinity, which is almost immediately subverted by his being completely without machismo -- his machismo is so in the negative that he goes around and becomes this Ideal of masculinity instead

the fact that his ethos is kindness, but it's not necessarily guileless. it is selfless in that he's not necessarily expecting to get returns on it all the time, but it's also -- to him -- often truly the most effective means to an end: if you're kind to others, people will often become kinder. this can be useful in the shortterm (if you give this kid a nice sandwich and don't threaten him with jail time and help him out a bit, he'll try to help with a case...) and in the longterm (this kid will stay in school and have a better future ahead of him, hopefully)

(i will get to ray btw, need to just get all the frasier thoughts out first)

frasier really embodies autistic swag. he takes things incredibly literally, he follows scripts (in this case, The Mountie Script, and also within that some kinda Code Of Gallantry), he's an incredible people-reader of the "autistic savant" type arguably (except there's more to him so the savant trope doesn't quite hold, which is good), his relationship with his dog Diefenbaker, the fact that although he is nigh-effortlessly kind of charming (because he's clark kent vibes!!! he's charming in a way as if he stepped out of a novel set 100 years ago in which kissing women's hands was the norm) he doesn't really make close friendships easily, because there's an Otherness to him that keeps him at a distance to others (except ray. WE WILL GET TO RAY STAY TUNED)

speaking of Distance, a lot of the aroaceness i've read into him so far (and we're literally only three episodes in!!!) really does feel like his autism is triggered by come-ons in the "this is not in my script!" kind of way. his charm is tripped up by the obvious step of "charming man is charming, I will shoot my shot," it's happened several times and every time he tries to extricate himself in the most awkward way possible. can't go on a date, you see. i have.. a dog. and no phone. um. ok. bye.

lot of thoughts on his hero-worship of his absent father and how much of his script comes from wanting to make his father proud

frasier also tastes things a lot of the time and ray thinks it's gross and i think that's something too. the doctor (doctor who) autism coded

OKAY TIME FOR RAY

he reminds me. of gonzo. he has the same transmasc swag. as gonzo. his shirts. his ties. that fuckn. OVERSIZED SO OVERSIZED MASSIVE STUPID JACKET. he's transmasc swag/fail coded in the same way as gonzo. he is gonzo

ray spends so much time in the beginning admonishing frasier for his consistent kindness to others, and the thing is. The Thing Is. he met frasier and (barring the immediate impression) decided to nearly immediately invite him to a massive family dinner. then he saved him from a bomb and got himself hospitalised. then he followed him to canada to help him. and that's only in the pilot! ray is so kind to frasier constantly. he's such an abrasive man to pretty much everyone except to frasier from day one

when frasier asked him to get a special pass for his wolf and at the end of the episode he did, and frasier was like: "i only asked you once and you got it 🥺" "of course i did, you asked me for it 😍"

just. nigh. constantly. kind. to. him. currently frasier's in hospital because he got stabbed and we had ray running to see him, forcing his way into his room, comforting him, sir you make fun of the way all the girls fall at his feet (and how frasier never notices) I think you are one of the girls!

MY MAN GOT HIM FLOWERS WHILE HE WAS IN HOSPITAL JUST BECAUSE??????? SIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (he also makes him take aspirin, he's giving real caretaker in this episode)

so far we know less about ray than about frasier, but im glad the show has him be mouthy, sarcastic, pessimistic, but he's not cruel or callous -- arguably he wants frasier in his life in order to challenge him on his cynical worldview, he's nourished and inspired by frasier's approach towards the world as much as everyone else

misc: I really like that the world being presented isn't necessarily kind, but the main characters (ray learning to be softer via frasier) are kind as a response. it's got some Coolness Factor Shorthand stuff going on ofc, but it is fundamentally a story about facing a relatively realistic world with kindness in order to make it better

I'm sad eric schweig was only in the pilot but the main thrust of the show does take place in chicago i guuuuuuuesss. his role in that pilot was great though, a lot of interesting stuff about taking away frasier's rose-coloured lens of the world, and especially canada, but he also gets what's his at the end, so he's not just there to "offer advice" (although there is a bit of that trope for sure, especially as he doesn't seem to have a name). great character, if I write fic where they go to canada he's definitely gonna be in there!

me and @gjdraws were talking about how ray clearly likes spoiling frasier -- he's the one with the money, he gets him the wolf licence, brings him flowers in hospital, carries aspirin for him.... I'm just saying we were robbed of a "ray takes frasier shopping and there's a montage" bit, considering how frasier only has two fuckn outfits in the first few episodes. who took him shopping??? there's no way he went on his own steam. that was ray all the way! private runway show

[psymachine]

ok sorry but imagine dennis stalking mac online and seeing that he wants to try freeuse parties. this sends dennis into a jealous tailspin which he rationalizes by "worrying" about how dumb and easy to manipulate (read: murder) mac is. so he creates a fake party invite to lure mac somewhere, plays music and ambient party sounds off youtube, and blindfolds mac when he arrives.

then -- through the use of different voices, special effects, and sex toys -- he pretends to be like 7 different dudes running a train on mac.

[fyeaheddiemunson]

My opinions on Gladiator 2 that no one asked for under the cut. Heavy spoilers.

But first, and most important take away from the film:

ALL HAIL DONDUS

Firstly, I thought it was an overall good movie. Fun and entertaining. I haven't watched the first one in years and years, really isn't my cup of tea.

The CGI is absolutely horrific. It isn't Scorpion King bad, but it's truly awful. I am a huge baby when it comes to animals being hurt in tv/films...even though I know it isn't real, I still close my eyes and cover my ears. But the CGI monkeys were so bad I didn't care.

The shark scene was fun, but in all reality kind if stupid. Like...how? Why? The naval battle, ok...but who transported the sharks? Again, why?

Paul Mescal was great, as expected. A little dull, but the hero archetype is also not my cup of tea. Dude got in great shape, it was obvious how strenuous the fight scenes were.

Denzel, amazing as always. Except a lot of his mannerisms seemed very modern. Like he transported back in time. I did enjoy his little schemes.

I love Pedro Pascal. I love him. But his character was an absolute snooze fest. He just seemed bland. I didn't even care about his end, he was just meh. I was surprised by his lack of screen time.

The editing was strange and rushed. I heard the original full cut is 4+ hours. I feel like the movie could have extended in length to add to the story because it felt choppy and empty at times.

Connie Neilson is a great actress. But again she was bland and boring. I couldn't care for her character at all. She, Denzel and Paul took up about 95% of the entire film.

Now the emperors. Loved them. But honestly, the teasers showed most of their screen time. Literally. I was expecting a lot more diabolical events to happen. But aside from Caracella being a violence fiend, Geta seemed rather "normal" for the times.

Caracella seemed more of a charismatic drunk, like Aegon from House of the Dragon. Then you find out later, much later, he has syphilis or something of the sort.

They mentioned the evil emperors and the downfall of Rome almost nonstop but you see nothing. There isn't even a full conversation between Caracella and Geta.

Geta's death was pretty cool, expected since Joseph likes to die on screen. But that severed hear. Bruh. You tell me they had this massive budget, and they used what looks like a latex mask bought from Spirit Halloween? It didn't remotely have Geta's features... at all. And THEY KEPT SHOWING IT. I know there's a ton of amazing special effects artists out there...they were robbed because someone else deserved to make that head. It was absurd. I am mad.

Now as much as I love Joseph, as much as I would love to see him win an Oscar for best supporting actor...this isn't the role that will get him that. He just wasn't in the movie enough to REALLY show what he can do. Tyr scenes he's in, he killed it. But I think it was like 12 minutes TOPS that he was in it.

Overall it was okay. I'll see it again, maybe it'll grow on me. But...meh

[cairavende]

Worm Arc 18 thoughts:

Well that sure just happened

I'm fine

Noelle ate my daughter. But I'm fine. It's fine.

Her girlfriends are gonna save her!

I'm fiiiiine

Anyway, that's like, the end of the arc so there's a lot of other stuff that happens!

Taylor casually drops that she's mostly blind in conversation and Brian kinda freaks out. Understandably.

She got eye drops that she is supposed to be doing but never mentions doing them. I'm very disappointed in her. I'm also worried her eyes aren't going to ever get better.

I do love that the moment Dinah says she only has a 58% chance of going home and Taylor realizes it's because of her, she forces the situation by taking Dinah home right away. She is far from perfect, but she does have her moments.

RACHEL LET DINAH PET HER DOG!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! LOOK AT THE GROWTH!!

One of my favorite lines, when Taylor asks Dinah the chance of trouble before they go into the medical clinic "When there's trouble, it's you.  Eighty percent of the time." Just, kinda embodies the spirit of Worm I think.

I'm still fine.

Taylor sure thinks about Rachel as Rachel a lot now, instead of mostly as Bitch. GAAAAAY.

I really want to know what's on those papers Dinah left for Taylor. Triumph saw them but didn't seem to react. One might have been a message for him, since Dinah would know he would see it. Something that will come into play later maybe.

I love Parian making a giant wiener dog for everyone to ride on. Like, it is a definite upgrade in transportation from "door with glass stuck in it dragged down the street" but it doesn't have much of a supervillain vibe to it.

Noelle just starts it off with grabbing possibly the strongest cape available in Brockton Bay. At a minimum, one of the most versatile to clone. No big deal. Not like even just normal Vista could become very dangerous if she wanted to be evil.

Freaking PRT all "this is a Class A instead of a Class S cause Eidolon is a big man baby and needs to punch something all on his own to prove he's strong". Sure are helping people Alexandria. Good job. What a hero.

I think Eidolon is Bargain Bin Scion. Scion Lite. Blue Light Special Scion. A shitty version of Scion created by Cauldron basically.

Clockblocker is so fucking fascinated with Skitter it's amazing.

Tattletale made Eidolon maaaaaad! I love her.

I'm perfectly fine.

The scene with meeting the Chicago Wards, oh god I loved it so much! Skitter tells Bitch to clear the plywood out of a window and she just instantly fucking kicks it open, then a giant swarm comes in and swirls around everyone and covers Skitter, making her hair move and trailing bugs behind her like a gown, and then starts speaking with the swarm. And Tattletale waits until the perfect moment before asking the Wards their names and powers, very clearly backing Skitter up as her 2nd. Just such a "ok I was playing nice but now I need you to know who you are working with!" power move. Fucking amazing. Also it was Skitter being assisted by Bitch and Tattletale! GAAAAAAAAAAAY!! LESBIAN SUPERVILLAIN POWER POLYCULE!

I think Grace has neat powers but could have been more creative with her name. I fucking love Tecton though, assume tinker. Dude has got to love fights like this, where he is allowed to do all the property damage he wants. He'd make a good villain.

The other two are kinda neat too but they didn't last very long.

Every time they are going anywhere Bitch specifically offers Skitter a ride. GAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

I love seeing the range of power adjustments the clone Vistas get. Some are pretty basic - can do stuff from farther away or not be slowed down if a lot of people are around - but then we get ones like Paper Mario Vista and Imagine Dragons Vista, with much more wild powers.

Everyone stand back while Eidolon goes and shows us all how strong he is! God.

I'm 100% FINE.

Side effect of being blinded probably, but it is neat how good Taylor is getting at listening, and sometimes even seeing, through her bugs! Just listening in on Eidolon and Noelle from blocks away.

Imp almost gets crushed to death by Eidolon's gravity power cause she ignores warnings from Skitter to run. Sounds about right.

Noelle making rat clones and bug clones (that Skitter can't control) is fun.

Fucking projectile vomit attack suddenly! Did Noelle absorb the girl from the Exorcist??

Texas Wards kinda getting their ass kicked. (Also what the hell is going on in Texas that the whole state apparently just has the one Wards team, vs most places have a Ward team per city?)

Fight is going kinda poorly. Travelers show up to help! And then Trickster betrays everyone to feed my daughter to Noelle! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm fine.

The Most Powerful Man in the World Interlude thoughts:

Scion just really is empty in there isn't he?

Not a person, just a construct of the entities in 3 dimensional space. Sphere moving through Flatland and being seen as a circle style. No mind, just does what this guy tells him.

Duke is a very good dog.

Kevin talking about Scion 100% sounds like someone talking about a lover that has been lots of trouble for them but that they just can't quite.

Lisette is having a weird day.

I really wonder how the next Endbringer attack is going to go now that Scion has been told to kill them. Wonder if it'll be different.

Crusader Interlude thoughts:

Shockingly, it turns out that the Nazi is an asshole. News at 11.

Night and Fog were basically constructed by this Gesellschaft group. Seems like a branch of Cauldron pretending to be Nazis for more control over things. Or maybe not directly a branch of Cauldron, but they get powers from Cauldron. Maybe not related, but they make weapons, which is very much what Cauldron can do, and we haven't seen anyone else yet reliably make powers with control over the outcome.

This poor TA is having a bad day.

Taylor triggered 2 or more times in that locker. I was 100% positive of that the second the TA said "You can’t really distinguish a single trigger event from having two in quick succession." I probably should have realized this earlier.

Really curious where Theo and Aster's stories are going. I could see one or both of them being a major part of the end of the world (based on stuff from Trickster's visions on stuff from Noelle's interlude I'm thinking a 3rd or 4th generation cape might play a part in it), but I could also see them being red herrings.

Theo is upset but realistically getting abandoned and left with the PRT is the best option that could have happened to him.

Jessica Yamada Interlude thoughts:

This poor woman

Faultline Interlude thoughts:

OH MY GOD Gregor and Shamrock are super fucking cute together!!!!

Faultline is amazing and very organized and detail oriented and an assertive leader who wears a dress shirt with slacks and cowboy boots and threatens to get a bullwhip and I would really like her to tell me what to do k thx.

Not positive I would trust the minor precog abilities of Shamrock to make me Simurgh proof, but it's better than nothing.

The quarantine zone of the city of Madison is doing great!

Wasn't expecting to get to see Matroyshka again, that's neat! She should probably stop eating people but otherwise she's fun.

Faultline just not being able to stand Tattletale is wonderful. I hope they bother each other for years to come.

I like this crew, so I was not happy that they got really fucked up by Contessa. But I also want to like Contessa (as much as I can like someone who works for Cauldron) and this did make her seem really badass.

Noelle Interlude thoughts:

I'm fine.

Regent keeping up the jokes under pressure, good for him.

Finally got some good descriptions of Noelle's powers doing stuff which was very good.

I'm fine.

Also fun to see various clones and their powers.

AND THE VISION! OH MY GOD THE VISION! So much good info from that. It helped me get a much better idea of things and confirmed a lot of things I already thought. (Like Cauldron has basically hijacked an entity, more or less. Not the details on how though.)

I'm fine.

The fact that Noelle can let the god dandruff take control is interesting. Like her connection never got fully closed compared to other people. Which is what I assumed only taking half a vial did. Really curious to see if we ever get more info on Oliver.

Her Earth Bet self is like, 15 years younger. But still has the same name. Kinda wild.

I'm fine.

Also her Earth Bet dad gave her the name Echidna, which like, I get it's the mother of monsters or whatever, but I can only think of the cute adorable little creature!

I'm fine.

I obviously wish Eidolon had been able to defeat Noelle and save my daughter but him having a big sad about it not being fair that he can't get stronger is pretty funny too. I do not like the guy.

I'm fine.

I'm sure Tattletale has a plan and everything will work out.

I'm fine.

I'm 100% absolutely fine.

[charliemwrites]

Ok, Ok, I know im sending two seperate asks, but I am DESPERATE for these worlds that your immaculate mind has conjured and I had to ask!

So, what would Charmed!SlasherSimon think if maybe his darling wasn't afraid of horror movies? Like, he's already smirking waiting for the jumps care he knows is coming to get his darling and make her huddle closer to him. Except, it never comes. The jumpscare comes, and what he thinks is a sharp inhale of fear is actually elation. She just turns and looks at him with a big grin and begins softly babbling about how coll the special effects are and how he has really good choice in horror movies? He should have known better when she had the entire Scream, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on elm Street, and Chucky Box sets displayed under her TV along with some other movies.

Would he find this mildly annoying because he was looking forward to being clung too, or would this just make him even more curious about his sweet innocent darling who apparently has a darker side stained with a perfect amount of fake blood?

Hi no problem!!

So as we all know, slasher Simon is just a simp with a hobby at this point lmao. He would be utterly thrilled to have you enjoy horror movies so much - goes out of his way to find the scariest for you. Makes it all that much sweeter when something does finally manage to get you. Even if it’s a little jump and a giggle.

You’ll end up cuddled up to him no matter what, after all. He’s a big dude, you’ve got a little couch, and he fiddles with thermostat to make it cold enough for you to seek out his warmth while watching.

[washipink]

A Beginner’s Guide to Tokusatsu

Hey, I know some of you are probably wondering about all these hero shows I’m constantly posting about. Maybe you want to try watching them too, but don’t know where to start? Well, look no further. I’m here to go over some accessible, and legal, means of checking out some of my favorite things!

for the OTHER means, you’ll have to DM me or send me an ask. I’m not getting my favorite sites shut down. You know the drill.

This guide will mainly focus on the big 3 Toku franchises, Toei’s Kamen Rider and Super Sentai as well as Tsuburaya’s Ultraman.

What Is Tokusatsu?

Tokusatsu is a genre of Japanese shows and movies that literally translates to “Special Effects”. Usually using a combination of monster or hero suits, practical effects like explosions, and light CGI.

That’s a REALLY wide net, so we’re just gonna focus on 3 shows today.

Super Sentai, Kamen Rider, and Ultraman. Thanks to @urotandersentai​ for drawing this neat little guide to the Visual Design of each of these 3 shows.

With that out of the way, let’s look at some individual seasons of these shows. Each one has a link to where you can watch it!

Please remember that at the end of the day, the best way to pick a show to watch is “Whatever looks coolest to you”. As such, I’ve included pictures!!!

Super Sentai

You might be saying, “This looks like Power Rangers!” And you’d be right!

Super Sentai, created by Shotaro Ishinomori and produced by Toei Productions, is kinda like Power Rangers’ Dad. PR has been using suits and even fight footage from Super Sentai to tell its own stories for 30 years. All this time, though, Sentai has been creating lovable and memorable casts of colorful heroes.

Generally, Super Sentai is about a team of heroes in colorful costumes that fight monsters every week to protect people.

There’s tons of shows in this series that are available FOR FREE.

CHOUJIN SENTAI JETMAN (1991)

The Earth is under siege from the Dimensional War Party Vyram. A special squadron is selected for an experiment to turn them into Super Humans with the powers of Birds, the Birdman Squadron Jetman. Vyram interferes with the experiment and kills all but one of the Jetman recruits. Instead, civilians are transformed and tasked with defending the Earth. The surviving recruit, Ryu Tendo, must convince 4 normal people with drastically different backgrounds to fight with him.

Jetman has the typical monster of the week format for Super Sentai, but when the team isn’t battling monsters, there’s some serious drama going on. The five of them are all drastically different individuals. It can make it hard to work as a team. Especially when it comes Black Condor. Dude’s a loose canon and an absolute bastard of a man.

KYORYU SENTAI ZYURANGER (1992)

“From hundreds of millions of years ago, in the age of the dinosaurs, five warriors revive in the present time!”

When the Evil Witch Bandora awakens from her slumber, intent on terrorizing the Children of Earth, Five warriors from Dinosaur Times are unsealed to undo her schemes!

This one is where the suits for Mighty Morphin Power Rangers came from, which might tempt you to watch it first. I kinda recommend against that, though. It’s a fine show but I personally found it a bit boring. The characterization of the main cast didn’t stick out as much compared to other Sentai.

GOSEI SENTAI DAIRANGER (1993)

I haven’t seen this one, but it’s focused on martial arts and one of their mechs is a cool dragon? so uhhh? Check them out? Their theme song fucks

NINJA SENTAI KAKURANGER (1994)

Ok listen I didn’t watch this one either. HOWEVER, I know that it’s about the descendants of 5 legendary ninja who have been fighting yokai for 400 years.

CHOURIKI SENTAI OHRANGER (1995)

This is the last sentai in the “I didn’t watch it” category. uhhh, watch it if the suits look cool. Sorry.

GEKISOU SENTAI CARRANGER (1996)

Five Mechanics use the power of Car Magic to protect the earth from the Universal Reckless Driving Tribe and teach children about Traffic Safety. This one’s a tad bit goofier compared to some of the others, but it’s a good time.

Also There’s a Yoda.

DENJI SENTAI MEGARANGER (1997)

Five High School Students are friends and pals! Together they investigate the mysterious goings on of a technologically advanced evil empire. They literally surf the net in order to bring peace to their city and the world!

SEIJUU SENTAI GINGAMAN (1998)

The warriors of Ginga Forest, the Gingamen, have protected nature for 132 Generations. This series follows the 133rd Generation of Gingamen, who battle alongside Starbeasts to stop the resurrection of the Demon Beast Ditanix!

KYUKYU SENTAI GOGOFIVE (1999)

This time, the rangers are an experienced team of rescue workers given super human power! They fight back Literal Demons From Hell that endanger the public. There’s a lot of focus specifically on rescuing civilians in this one, so if you’re an especially big fan of watching heroes... SAVE people, this is a great choice.

MIRAI SENTAI TIMERANGER (2000)

In the 30th Century, a gang of super criminals escapes to the year 2000. They are tracked down by the Future Sentai Timeranger, agents of the Time Defense Force. There, they encounter the Great(s) Grandfather of their departed leader and must convince him to fight alongside them for the sake of humanity.

HYAKUJU SENTAI GAORANGER (2001)

Veterinarian Kakeru Shishi can hear the hearts of every animal! He swiftly becomes enraptured in the adventures of the Gaorangers, who battle living embodiment of pollution. Also they live on a flying turtle! How cool is that?

NINPUU SENTAI HURRICANNEGER (2002)

What if there was a polycule of ninjas SO BAD at being Ninjas, they showed up to Ninja Class Late and were the only survivors of an attack on their school? These guys are the silliest little slackers, but they’ve got hearts of gold. Check them out? For me? :)

KAMEN RIDER

If Super Sentai is Power Rangers’ Dad, Kamen Rider is Power Rangers’ Uncle.

Kamen Rider was ALSO created by Shotaro Ishinomori.

Usually focused in on a smaller cast of heroes. A common theme in Rider is that the heroes are created by their villains and choose to rebel against them for the greater good, or will use the villain’s own powers against them.

Most Riders have a signature attack where they leap into the air and do a flying kick. These get INCREDIBLY flashy over the years.

Unfortunately, there’s a lot less Kamen Rider legally available than there are of the other two shows here. Don’t fret, it’s Easy Enough To Find Anyway.

As for the shows I can link you to, there’s

KAMEN RIDER (1971)

This is the original series.

Takeshi Hongo is an augmented human being created by the evil organization Shocker. Escaping before his brainwashing can be completed, battles for humanity’s freedom as Kamen Rider.

Being such an old show, the effects can be dated and cheesy. It’s a bit of an acquired taste, but if you stick with it, I’m sure you’ll love it. You can watch most of the show in almost any order. The only really confusing part is that eventually, Hongo tags out with fellow escaped cyborg Ichimonji Hayato as Kamen Rider. (This was due to a real world injury to Hongo’s actor during filming. Don’t worry, he’s still kicking and he comes back later in the show!)

It’s also the longest Kamen Rider show, so I don’t fault you if you decide not to watch ALL of it. Even I haven’t yet.

If reading is more your thing, it’s based on a manga that you can find a DELIGHTFULLY well crafted omnibus of here

KAMEN RIDER KUUGA (2000)

Kuuga was the first season of Rider after about a 5 year break on TV. It’s something of a return to form.

It follows Yusuke Godai, a world traveler with 2000 skills, visiting his home town for the first time in years. He finds himself in the middle of an ancient civilization’s ritualistic murder game. Donning the mantle of Kuuga, Godai fights to protect the smiles of the city. He has a wonderful supporting cast around him including Detective Ichijou, who he goes on to share a rather homoerotic bond with.

Kuuga was my first Rider Series and to this day, it represents the Bread and Butter of Kamen Rider to me. This one’s a bit of a slow-paced Drama, but its focus is on what it means to help others. Every episode, I felt like I was actively being encouraged to be a better person. Godai’s got this infectious positivity that can’t help but make you grin.

KAMEN RIDER RYUKI (2002)

Ryuki takes a rather different direction from the other shows on this list. Instead of being about a single hero battling monsters, it’s about Plucky Young Journalist Shinji Kido being wrapped up in an all-out war between Kamen Riders. Donning the mask of Ryuki, he seeks to put an end to the bloodshed. The other Kamen Riders aren’t nearly as cooperative, though.

Don’t think that this plot means these characters don’t get tons of humanizing moments though. They’re all delightful to watch in action and you’ll end up truly questioning who will win? Is it possible to end the Riders’ battle? Will Shinji have to take a life after all?

I cannot recommend Ryuki enough. A lot of the Rider series from the early 2000s are Dramas that feature super heroes and Ryuki takes that drama up to a 10. (Plus, if you wanna ask where to find it, there’s plentiful side content for this show.)

KAMEN RIDER ZERO-ONE (2019)

In the far-flung year of 2019, Hiden Intelligence has revolutionized AI technology. The company manufactures Robot Assistants called Humagears. People in all walks of life and profession benefit from their aid. Unfortunately, something is causing Humagears to go berserk and attack humans.

With the death of Hiden Intelligence’s president, Failed Comedian Aruto Hiden inherits the company. He’s given the Zero-One Driver, which allows him to fight the corrupted Humagears as Kamen Rider Zero-One. With this new power in hand, Aruto seeks a way forward where Humankind and AI can exist in harmony.

Come to think of it, this one’s kinda topical. “AI” is a subject we really aren’t gonna be getting rid of any time soon. This show is one of the more recent rider productions you can find legally and it SHOWS. Every suit is sleek and clean, the visuals are striking and flashy. If nothing else, Zero-One LOOKS incredible.

KAMEN RIDER GEATS (2022)

Kamen Riders compete in a game called the Desire Grand Prix. By fighting monsters and saving people for points, the winner can have their greatest desire granted. Ukiyo Ace, the titular Kamen Rider Geats, looks to unravel the mysteries behind the Grand Prix and reunite with his long-lost mother.

Things get a bit more complicated than that, but I think you should see it for yourself. I can’t recommend Geats enough. its visual style is a direct evolution of Zero One’s sleekness and flashiness. It’s main 4 characters are some of my favorites in recent years.

SHIN KAMEN RIDER (2023) (Paid)

Takeshi Hongo is an augmented human being created by the evil organization Shocker. Escaping before his brainwashing can be completed, battles for humanity’s freedom as Kamen Rider. 

Wait, that sounds really familiar. That’s because this is the latest in a series of Tokusatsu Reimaginings by Hideaki Anno and Shinji Higuchi. This is a new take on the story of Kamen Rider 1971, modernized complete with sleeker suits and stunning music all wrapped up in a 2-hour movie. It also has plenty of Easter Eggs for those of us who are fans of the 1971 series or the Manga it’s based on!

Be warned, this one’s gorier than the other stuff on the list. It’s mostly exaggerated blood splatters, though. I hate that kind of stuff and I’m able to rewatch this movie.

KAMEN RIDER AMAZONS (2016) (Paid)

Amazons is another adult reimagining of a classic Kamen Rider show, but it’s so far removed you don’t really need to know much about the original to enjoy it.

Amazons follows a group of exterminators who have been tasked with eradicating escaped cannibalistic experiments called, well, Amazons. The catch is that they work together with 2 Amazons, Momoru the Mole Amazon, and Haruka, the titular Kamen Rider Amazons. Both of them are tasked with asking themselves ethical questions. Is it so wrong for Amazons to exist? Is it possible to avoid eating people? If it isn’t, then is it WRONG to eat people to survive?

ULTRAMAN

Ok, look, I’m gonna have to make a separate post covering all the free Ultraman stuff there is. Theres SO MUCH OF IT available that I don’t know where to start. We’re about to hit the image limit. If that post is done, it will be linked HERE.

But for a basic idea, there’s tons of stuff on Tubi and the official Ultraman Youtube Channel posts new episodes of the currently airing show.