#ok but I actually did kind of forget
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anthropomorphicspider · 2 years ago
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I love it when mean people give me free stuff.
So I work at a T-Mobile store and this lady comes in with a car charger and says she wants to return it because the end of the charger broke off.
She’s a bit ticked off—understandably so, the accessories we sell in the store are fucking expensive—but she’s fine with me personally bc obviously it’s not my fault.
I get into her account and start trying to look up her receipt and while I do that I ask her how long ago she bought the charger and she said about three weeks or so ago.
That’s a problem. We can’t return things that were purchased more than 14 days ago. I explain to her the rules and she’s getting all huffy like “I paid a lot of money for that! This is ridiculous!” And my coworker jumps in like “hey ma’am look, there’s really nothing we can do. The system won’t even let us process it.”
She’s getting very pissed to the point that it’s making me anxious. Then she uses the whole “I’m going to switch my whole family over to Verizon!” bit, to which I’m flipping her off under the table because we’re a third-party retailer so it doesn’t matter worth shit to us if she switches for one and for two, Verizon sucks ass and T-Mobile is way better so have fun with that, and for three, her threats literally change nothing.
But then.
She slams the broken device on the table.
“You can keep your garbage charger!”
Then she storms out, leaving me with a *perfectly good $60 car charger adapter.*
Only the cord was broken. The very tip of the cord at that. I could’ve let her know that she could have plugged any old cord into the high-quality fast-charging two-port charger, but well… I guess all her yelling had me distracted and I forgot. Whoops.
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ponytailzuko · 7 months ago
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writing chat noir dialogue is actually hard to me because sometimes he's pissing ladybug off with the 500th cat pun but everything he does is emotionally honest but also hes not ever. he will shrug off any amount of concern. everything he says CAN be taken as a joke but also hes not joking hes 100 percent that in love with her. hes making heartfelt speeches to ladybug when she's having her 500th breakdown this season etc. theres a perfect ratio to how much ladybug is watching him be a disaster and vice versa where he watches HER be a disaster.
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whiskeyswifty · 7 months ago
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some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat · 4 months ago
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me reading relatable NPD posts coming across one about only showing kindness to not seem like a bad person: wait but kindness and compassion and selflessness come so naturally to me what do you mean you struggle with it? do I not have NPD after all?
my ?-8 year old self with anger issues whose entire idea of friendship is to convince people to give him attention and let him use their cool things with no desire to return the favor: uh
my 9-11 year old self still with anger issues but now having 0 friends and one attempted murder of another kid for the crime of not leaving the room because he said to: um
my 12-16 year old self actively homicidal sadistic and only not acting on those thoughts because he wants to be liked but many times trying out being cruel on separate accounts feeling no remorse for it: you sure?
my 17-20 year old self discovering that he can actually choose to be a good person indefinitely (the homicidal and sadistic thoughts don't have to be a ticking time bomb and are actually pretty easy to suppress) and carefully training himself to choose to be kind and hate the thought of hurting people and reprogramming his values to take pride in selflessness so that unnamed but observed NPD would reward such behavior: I think you forgot something
my (current) mid twenties self: hmm no I think I'm just really special and an exception to those symptoms or whatever sorry I think my NPD just makes me really cool instead <3
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slingbats · 4 months ago
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I am going to need that rewrite on my desk by tomorrow, 12 point font, times new roman, double spaced
noOOOOOO IT'S TOO MUCH WORK!!! I DON'T HAVE TIME AND I DON'T CARE ENOUGH........ girl help!
my rewrite where uhhhhhhhhhh. everything is the same except the writers actually care about female characters. a lot of decisions were made because of actresses no longer being available so plotlines like fish's are more or less the same but like, Ivy either gets to grow up normally or is never a child at the beginning to start with (you can go the weird plant body route if you have to keep her relatively younger since this is a prequel ig), and I don't... even know what to make of KK or Isabella, and Sofia should just be fucking. dont tell me there isn't a single female italian bodybuilder who can act, I don't believe you. let her be buff. let her take up space. let her be huge and wear vintage fashion.
also Oswald is fat and trans
#the problem is that largely i think gotham should suck ass#the only thing that really drives me up the fucking wall is the like. obvious sexism#every fully disposable female character makes me evil#i dont know what they were on about the riddler fangirl and i've chosen not to examine it bc i suspect you had to be there#in order to understand what whoever wrote that was mad about specifically. i can't stand that shit#'we have to openly mock some actually harmless aspect of our fanbase' ok but can you do it without being weird and sexist '🧍‍♂️'#but generally? the Stupid plotlines the Really dumb crap#whatever the fuck gordon is doing from episode to episode#...it builds character. i wasn't paying attention to most of it anyway#hey real quick look me in the eyes#there was something there. i hate the galavan arc so much but there was something there.#a sympathy. a kinship between tabitha and silver. tabitha was groomed for a role the same way silver is being groomed and she recognizes#the childish desire to please authority figures in their stupid bullshit organization even though silver can't see it because she's still l#living in it#did you guys see that? because i saw it#and it's in the middle of like. one of the worst arcs in the show#(the arc is fine the actor who plays theo is just so like. he has no charisma at all and something is Off about the whole thing bc of it)#oh wait no yeah actually. the stuff with silver is kind of hard to watch bc it would be interesting if they wanted to examine it#but it's a stupid drama series so it's just a love triangle even though she's a pretty sad character even within the writing in this show#and silver never comes back. and she doesn't need to bc they wouldnt know how to treat her#but did you guys see that too?#I like tabitha#anyway that arc is bad but i do think sometimes about silver saying 'my favorite animal is a dolphin bc they're magic'#and for a second bruce forgets the situation and looks like he's going to snap#exclusively because she said something factually incorrect about an animal#what was i talking about again
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taegularities · 1 year ago
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bro...
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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...
#it is truly so wild to go from feeling miserable and hopeless all the time for... lets look at my excel sheet#the last 23 days. then to suddenly rocket up to smiling to myself all day. the world is so fucking beautiful#for no rational reason aside from what i have to assume is a chemical shift in my body#like is this what happy ppl feel like all the time? its truely so crazy. have i always been like this?#did i not notice this was a thing? like ive definitely noticed it in the last year but like ???#my suspicion is that it doesnt actually last long enough to b considered hypomania but like idk i should see a doctor probably lol#u would think being happy would make it easier to do things but i just keep forgetting to do them and just like spacing out lol bc rn i#feel chill. even tho i need to make a list of the shit i gotta do by Friday. bleh. but idk it makes being in thr lab so much nicer bc i#mean. i still dont give a fuck abt what im doing but im like fuck it this isnt gonna b my problem in like 2-3 months. even tho im sure ill#still have to write up everything. but idk. it also makes it easier to b like. ok so i kno what my problems r lets plan yo make things not#so horrible so u dont just live a miserable life and then like die having lived a life of fear. like its so crazy how much easier thst is#to do rn??? well see how long it lasts but yea v strange. wish i could control my fucking focus tho. like that would b great#its like the fucking painting of hypnose. my focus is like a lighthouse wildly swinging its light around until it sometimes blasts me in#the face. like not helpful. i need to b able to do things.#i guess the weird thing rn is thst while i feel happy. i also have this like simmering fear of irrational things. like when i used to live#in my parents basement and i was terrified of the dark rooms down there at night. like that kind of childish baseless fear#but like im in i tiny tiny apartment lol like bro what r u scared of??? silly silly silly#idk hopefully it holds out the whole rest of the week and then i can travel and see my parents like !!! yo !!! happy vibes :-D#that would b kinda unhinged lmao. i doubt itll last thst long. its already slipped from this morning so we shall see#unrelated
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arolesbianism · 2 years ago
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Some Tali scribbles I did trying to refigure out her design since it’s been ages since I’ve last properly drawn her and I need to make her a new ref. I was expecting figuring out her face shape to be harder how was I struggling with this so much before wtf
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nomairuins · 21 days ago
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tangentially prev i literally used to get stressed out when i was a kid bc like i knew animals had different lifespans than people and id lie awake and id be like . if a deer was born in the wild at the same moment as me itd probably be dead by now . and id get so stressed out abt it
#Tanrentially related to rhis is i used to just get so stressed out as a kid bc i was like . one day there will be no more ppl born in 2005#and there will never be New people who were born in 2005 or any other year the number only ever goes down once the years done. this was a#big fear for younger me For some reason. it was this and the like. ok. so#two things. 1. i used to just space out and truly forget i was human and be fully one with a universe and then id despair when i remembered#that i was avtually just a little girl and a real person and i existed. bc id zoom out and it all seemed so inconsequential and it was#lovely. i say 'used to' this still happens just not the same way#and rhe other thing is Id get incredibly freaked out bc id like. id be doing something like. nothing. passing time or reading or whatever#but then id have a moment of clarity and id be like. If i forget this moment tomorrow did it ever actually happen. and id think of how many#moments r just gone from my life bc i dont remember them like. that was a big fear for me as a kid was id just be sitting somewhere and id#be like. this moment is real right now because im living it but if i forget about it than it never actually happened because im not like.#being observed. its just me and if i dont remember it than it never really happened. and this happened so often that it felt like a chain of#myself thinking that exact same thought and just like. looking back and seeing all those moments Kind of thing. but anyways basically i dont#think either of those early fears and terrors have anything to do with my current day psyche so we dont need to talk abt it 👍 except that#we like. have. bc i talked abt it... but whateverrr not my business !#its kinda funny tho i remember like. trying to talk to my dad abt my like Deeply held fear that i wasnt real unless i was being observed#and his response was basically like. That sounds crazy. dont say stuff like that it makes you sound crazy . DJFNJFNGG#and then later was shocked when i didnt go to him for mental health help and its like ... well ... + just yelling at me whenever i cried in#front of him to either 'tell him why i was upset or hed guve me something to cry about'#and its like. well tbh father i dont actually want to explain that im being groomed online rn in the car with the entire family here#including The baby and the 6 year old . but ok . thats cool. and obviously id cry more from being yelled at#sry this got whiny its fine. i was annoying for crying in front of everyone NFNFJFN even tho i wasnt trying to. obviously. i hate crying in#front of ppl
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blackvahana · 7 months ago
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I said I was going to make visionary incense with the trees and plants that grow in this garden. i am.
Madness going fucking ham earlier... was a necessary fucking moment (insert what i said last night about deities' actions being symbols. lev absolutely Forgot to be more careful because Big Lev made him forget that on purpose). a moment of realisation of how strong the Tree of Madness is and. jesus christ. I am not. stripping its bark and turning that into incense alone
its definitely going to be....... this garden as a whole actually is going to be mixed and matched to form various alchemical shit. the Heart Tree (tree of me in totality) is definitely needed in the visionary/divine madness incense, but that. increases the effects of the Tree of Madness, so I have to be fucking careful. The Tree of Sleep, whenever it arises, is definitely going to be a component and I think its soothing properties will counteract Madness alllllllmost. more so Madness is the top of a triangle metaphorically, Sleep is one other corner, we need another contender in the third corner to properly balance out and neutralise Madness' complex ferocity.
anyway. remember what i said about big spirits acting symbolically? dont look too much into that
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infiniteglitterfall · 9 months ago
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know someone who enjoys horror stories? share this one! it's true!
hahahahahahahahahaha aarrggghhhhhhhhhh 3,000,000 deaths due to COVID-19 last year. Globally. Three million. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. The reason people are still worried about COVID is because it has a way of quietly fucking up your body. And the risk is cumulative.
I'm going to say that again: the risk is cumulative.
It's not just that a lot of people get bad long-term effects from it. One in seven or so? Enough that it's kind of the Russian Roulette of diseases. It's also that the more times you get it, the higher that risk becomes. Like if each time you survived Russian Roulette, the empty chamber was removed from the gun entirely. The worst part is that, psychologically, we have the absolute opposite reaction. If we survive something with no ill effects, we assume it's pretty safe. It is really, really hard to override that sense of, "Ok, well, I got it and now I probably have a lot of immunity and also it wasn't that bad." It is not a respiratory disease. Airborne, yes. Respiratory disease, no: not a cold, not a flu, not RSV.
Like measles (or maybe chickenpox?), it starts with respiratory symptoms. And then it moves to other parts of your body. It seems to target the lungs, the digestive system, the heart, and the brain the most.
It also hits the immune system really hard - a lot of people are suddenly more susceptible to completely unrelated viruses. People get brain fog, migraines, forget things they used to know.
(I really, really hate that it can cross the blood-brain barrier. NOTHING SHOULD EVER CROSS THE BLOOD-BRAIN BARRIER IT IS THERE FOR A REASON.) Anecdotal examples of this shit are horrifying. I've seen people talk about coworkers who've had COVID five or more times, and now their work... just often doesn't make sense? They send emails that say things like, "Sorry, I didn't mean Los Angeles, I meant Los Angeles."
Or they insist they've never heard of some project that they were actually in charge of a year or two before.
Or their work is just kind of falling apart, and they don't seem to be aware of it.
People talk about how they don't want to get the person in trouble, so their team just works around it. Or they describe neighbors and relatives who had COVID repeatedly, were nearly hospitalized, talked about how incredibly sick they felt at the time... and now swear they've only had it once and it wasn't bad, they barely even noticed it.
(As someone who lived with severe dissociation for most of my life, this is a genuinely terrifying idea to me. I've already spent my whole life being like, "but what if I told them that already? but what if I did do that? what if that did happen to me and I just don't remember?") One of its known effects in the brain is to increase impulsivity and risk-taking, which is real fucking convenient honestly. What a fantastic fucking mutation. So happy for it on that one. Yes, please make it seem less important to wear a mask and get vaccinated. I'm not screaming internally at all now.
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I saw a tweet from someone last year whose family hadn't had COVID yet, who were still masking in public, including school.
She said that her son was no kind of an athlete. Solidly bottom middle of the pack in gym.
And suddenly, this year, he was absolutely blowing past all the other kids who had to run the mile. He wasn't running any faster. His times weren't fantastic or anything. It's just that the rest of the kids were worse than him now. For some reason. I think about that a lot. (Like my incredibly active six-year-old getting a cold, and suddenly developing post-viral asthma that looked like pneumonia.
He went back to school the day before yesterday, after being home for a month and using preventative inhalers for almost week.
He told me that it was GREAT - except that he couldn't run as much at recess, because he immediately got really tired. Like how I went outside with him to do some yard work and felt like my body couldn't figure out how to increase breathing and heart rate.
I wasn't physically out of breath, but I felt like I was out of breath. That COVID feeling people describe, of "I'm not getting enough air." Except that I didn't have that problem when I had COVID.) Some people don't observe any long (or medium) term side effects after they have it.
But researchers have found viral reservoirs of COVID-19 in everyone they've studied who had it.
It just seems to hang out, dormant, for... well, longer than we've had an opportunity to observe it, so far.
(I definitely watched that literal horror movie. I think that's an entire genre. The alien dormant under ice in the Arctic.)
(oh hey I don't like that either!!!!!!!!!) All of which is to explain why we should still care about avoiding it, and how it manages to still cause excess deaths. Measuring excess deaths has been a standard tool in public health for a long time.
We know how many people usually die from all different causes, every year. So we can tell if, for example, deaths from heart disease have gone way up in the past three years, and look for reasons. Those are excess deaths: deaths that, four years ago, would not have happened. During the pandemic, excess death rates have been a really important tool. For all sorts of reasons. Like, sometimes people die from COVID without ever getting tested, and the official cause is listed as something else because nobody knows they had COVID. But also, people are dying from cardiovascular illness much younger now.
People are having strokes and heart attacks younger, and more often, than they did before the pandemic started. COVID causes a lot of problems. And some of those problems kill people. And some of them make it easier for other things to kill us. Lung damage from COVID leading to lungs collapsing, or to pneumonia, or to a pulmonary embolism, for example. The Economist built a machine-learning model with a 95% confidence interval that gauges excess death statistics around the world, to tell them what the true toll of the ongoing COVID pandemic has been so far.
Total excess deaths globally in 2023: Three million.
3,000,000.
Official COVID-19 deaths globally so far: Seven million. 7,000,000. Total excess deaths during COVID so far: Thirty-five point two million. 35,200,000.
Five times as many.
That's bad. I don't like that at all. I'm glad last year was less than a tenth of that. I'm not particularly confident about that continuing, though, because last year we started a period of really high COVID transmission. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. Here's their data, and charts you can play with, and links to detailed information on how they did all of this:
Here's a non-paywalled link to it:
https://archive.vn/2024.01.26-012536/https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/coronavirus-excess-deaths-estimates
Oh: here's a link to where you can buy comfy, effective N95 masks in all sizes:
Those ones are about a buck each after shipping - about $30 for a box of 30. They also have sample packs for a dollar, so you can try a couple of different sizes and styles.
You can wear an N95 mask for about 40 total hours before the effectiveness really drops, so that's like a dollar for a week of wear.
They're also family-owned and have cat-shaped masks and I really love them. These ones are cuter and in a much wider range of colors, prints, and styles, but they're also more expensive; they range from $1.80 to $3 for a mask. ($18-$30 for a box of ten.)
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0097linersb · 2 months ago
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Right Here ll
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Pairings: Wooyoung x Reader
Genre: Smut
Word Count: 6k~
Warnings: It´s a smut so +18 MDNI. THIS IS THE SECOND PART TO RIGHT HERE!! This wasn´t proofread and I kind of wrote it with my ass so I´m sorry. I´ll slowly start tagging everyone who asked me to, sorry if I forget someone I´m stupid.
Follow me on twitter pleaseeee: wooyosgfreal <3
Part 1
────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────
“We´re not fucking,” You informed in between labored breaths. 
“We don´t have to fuck, I just need you to sit on my face.” 
You never whined so loudly in your life before. 
That was the one single thing you have been dreaming about hearing for weeks now and you were so happy you could practically cry, in fact, you almost came right there without even being touched. 
Wooyoung noticed the semi-thorn look still present on your face and sighed, holding your cheeks so you were forced to stare him in the eyes like he was speaking to a misbehaving child, “Y/N, I don´t care. I don´t care about whatever stupid game we were playing, ok? We will wake up tomorrow and pretend this never happened and continue to be the bestest of friends, but let me have this tonight.” 
“Like it never happened.” You repeat stupidly. Can´t believe you were already fucked dumb without actually being fucked. “You promise?” 
“I promise.” 
“Ok.” 
“Good. Now let me make the most out of it because I´ve been thinking about this for so fucking long.” 
He gave you no time to think this time, lips clashing against yours once again and you were embarrassed at how fast you melted against him – he just had a way with his mouth like you´d never seen before. His palms rubbed up your back under your shirt and you shivered at the touch, accidentally grinding against him and earning a groan in response, his hips automatically bucking up and a groan leaving his lips right against yours. Your hands flew to his hair in need, grabbing his roots as you continued to grind into him shamelessly, breathing getting harder by the second. You felt like an animal, just wanting to rip his shirt out and kiss all of his skin. You were so close from just dry humping a bit, his labored breathing mixing with yours, the sounds coming from his mouth so heavenly, the short breaths -  
“Nop, can´t wait,” Wooyoung panted as he broke the kiss. You were still trying to figure out what he meant when he slid down and practically threw you up his body so fast you could only yelp in surprise.  
And there it was. 
The sight you´ve been dying to see. 
Wooyoung under you pulling your hips so you would straddle his face.  
You took a shaky breath, wanting to appreciate the view for a moment after how long you´ve been imagining it, Wooyoung looking so pretty with his long hair and - but he was not having it, grabbing the back of your thighs and urging you to scoot all the way forward. He did look like the happiest man on earth once you got into the position he wanted, his eyes practically twinkling as he pulled your shorts and panties to the side again, another groan leaving his lips at the sight of you.  
“Fuck, can´t believe this is really happening,” He dazedly smiled before raising his head to meet your core, body supported up by his elbows. 
Wooyoung took a long slow lick up your slit like he wanted to savor it, but you knew better: he was just being a tease, especially considering he was looking up at you with mischievous eyes. His lips then met your clit in a quick chaste kiss and you whined - He sure was taking his sweet time for someone allegedly so desperate. But then again, what did you expect from Jung Wooyoung? 
“Let me enjoy this,” He teasingly scolded you for whining. “This is a dream come true for some of us.” 
You glared at him, but the mean look was quickly interrupted as he finally - and suddenly - put his mouth to real work.  
“Oh fuck,” You cursed in surprise at the feeling, hands immediately flying to the wall for support.  
To say you were seeing stars was not an exaggeration, he would kiss and suck, his tongue would draw shapes against your clit that you couldn´t even make up, head too dizzy with all the sensations. You didn´t even realize you had closed your eyes but there you were, eyelids shut so tight you thought you´d never be able to see again. 
“Shit,” You moaned with a spasm of pleasure. 
“Told you I was good,” He smirked up at you, chin glistening and lips plumper than ever. 
“Shut up,” You groaned, grabbing his hair and pulling him back where you wanted him so you wouldn´t have to look at him and his cocky smile. 
He simply laughed, the vibrations against your core driving you insane as he continued with his work. Your mind was practically slime at the point, only being able to focus on your high and how close it was, you knew that for some reason you had to be quiet but you couldn´t even remember why anymore –  
Oh, right: Wooyoung cocky, Wooyoung big ego, Wooyoung bad. 
Wooyoung sped up his tongue and you betrayed yourself when a moan escaped past your lips, alerting him you were at the edge. You held your breath and braced yourself, ready to let go - 
Wooyoung suddenly leaned back, breaking your trance, “You sound so pretty.” 
You opened your eyes to look at him, thrown aback – it was once again like a bucket of water had been thrown at you.  
The whole bucket, not just the water.  
“What´s wrong?” He looked up at you worriedly after you just stared at him gob smacked for a second.  
“I-I was close.” 
“Oh, I´m sorry princess,” He furrowed his eyebrows apologetically. “Let me make it up to you.” 
And so he did, his lips once again meeting your clit, tongue alternating between drawing circles, flicking it side to side and whatever it was he did that got your knuckles turning white against the wall. This time Wooyoung decided to go the extra mile, you felt a little shift in bed as he stopped supporting himself in one of his arms - but your eyes were once again shut close so you weren´t able to see what he was doing. You literally mewled when one of his fingers traced your slit before slowly entering you.  
He groaned against you for the nth time, you could feel how tightly your walls were squeezing his finger, but it was mostly because you had never been this turned on before. As he ate you out, his finger gently opened you up before he added another one, little gasps leaving your lips because it was just so insane. 
Was Wooyoung really that good or had you just been horny for that long? 
Who knew that Jung Wooyoung, the guy you were pretty sure was gay not even 2 weeks ago, was so fucking good at eating pussy????? 
The pads of his fingers found a spot inside of you that no one ever did before and you found your hips subconsciously bucking against his hand every time he pulled out. 
“Fuck, I´m so close.” 
You took a deep breath and prepared for the wave of pleasure to wash over you - 
“Did you say something?” He asked, stopping all his movements to pay attention to you. 
You opened your eyes once again, Wooyoung was innocently looking up, expecting your answer, and you were about to cry out in frustration when you realized: 
 He was doing it on purpose. 
“I will murder you.” 
“Why?” He looked so genuinely confused. 
“I fucking know you, Jung Wooyoung.” 
The innocent boy façade crumbled down so quickly as he smirked, “You know I like it when you´re mad.” 
“You got it. Happy?” 
“Well, no. You haven´t begged yet.” 
“I swear to god I´ll get up and go to Mingi´s-” 
“Sit on my face.” 
“What?” 
“Sit on it, so you´ll have full control.” 
Your legs got so weak suddenly. 
“I´m not above begging,” Wooyoung must have taken your shock as hesitation because he was quick to offer nonchalantly with a shrug.  “If that´s what it takes.” 
“I´ll suffocate you-” 
“And I´ll go as a happy man, now come here,” He ordered as he leaned down so his back was now flat against the mattress. “Please?” 
You didn´t really need to be asked a third time - not that you´d have the chance to anyways, Wooyoung was already eagerly grabbing the back of your thighs and pulling you forwards. He somehow even felt how you were still supporting part of your weight on your knees so you wouldn´t crush him, and not happy with that, he circled his arms around your thighs and forced you to let go, falling completely on top of him – well, his face. 
The worries over suffocating him were gone in an instant, though. If you thought he was good before, it was definitely because you hadn´t tried this yet. Suddenly it was worth fantasizing all these weeks about this moment, not even in your wildest dreams (and you mean that literally) did it ever reach this level of insanity.  
You felt Wooyoung´s hands grabbing your ass and kind of pushing it back and forwards against his tongue, it took a few rounds of that for you to realize what he was doing. 
He wanted you to ride his face. 
“Fuck,” You moaned, too overwhelmed to process anything. 
Wooyoung was again not happy with your lack of action and continued to forcefully grind your core against his face and your clit kept bumping against his nose and oh god, his nose. 
After being edged twice already, you were terrified of there being a third time, but it was just impossible to be quiet, you were just out of your mind, you had never seen yourself like this before. I mean, you had never felt like this before either - 
Were all the men you ever slept with really just that bad? 
No. Mingyu was amazing in bed, Wooyoung was just... Wooyoung. 
Wooyoung and his stupid fucking nose. 
At some point you gave him what he wanted without even realizing, your fingers deep within the roots of his hair as you grinded against his tongue searching for your high and he seemed to be having the time of his life, moans muffled between your thighs as he moved his head to help you out.  
You didn´t think Wooyoung would be able to edge you this time even if he wanted to, considering you were practically...well, immobilizing him - but you´d also never doubt Jung Wooyoung´s ability of being annoying and you were so so so fucking close.  
“Please.” 
Were you begging? 
You? 
Begging Jung Wooyoung? 
Has he really driven you that low? 
Wooyoung´s fingers dug into your thighs, your ass, your waist, anything he could reach - and that´s how he took you by surprise once again; about 2 seconds before your high hit, Wooyoung managed to flip you over and climb on top of you in between your legs. 
“This was fun,” He smiled and gave you a quick peck on the lips. “Want to start the episode over?” 
This situation was so surreal that your brain couldn´t even try to process it, staring blankly at him as your chest heaved up and down against his. 
“Jung Wooyoung, I´m being so serious right now.” 
“What?” 
“What twisted stupid little game are you playing?” 
“Oh, no games. You said we couldn´t fuck so I stopped before you know, it could get to it.” 
You stared at him like he had just told you the Earth was flat. You hated him so much you hated yourself - but at the same time, it was like looking in the mirror. You felt so fucking bad to everyone you ever slept with before, if you knew how annoying it was you´d have never been the way that you are. 
You could curse at him, you could yell at him, you could even kick him out of your place, but at the moment, none of that would give you what you wanted, so for now, all you had to do was take a deep breath, swallow your pride and admit you just got out-brattied by Jung Wooyoung. You could kill him after he fucked you. Wait- 
or - 
OR- 
“Restart the episode,” You ordered after over a literal minute of silence, rolling down to his side in bed. 
“What?” Oh, the amount of money you´d pay to see the look of shock and desperation on his face again. He was just so sure you´d back down and ask him to fuck you. 
“Restart the episode,” You repeated yourself.  
“Oh, ok,” You watched as he gulped and did as he was told, adjusting his body so he was comfortable against the pillow as he pressed play on the remote.  
You unpresumptuously turned tonyour side, placing your thigh on top of Wooyoung´s and your hand on his chest, his body jumping at the contact. 
“Jumpy, are we?” You teased, using his own words against him. 
“What are you doing?” 
“Cuddling. Relax your arm.” 
Wooyoung skeptically wrapped his arm around your shoulders so you´d both be more comfortable and you snugged into him, waiting for him to get his guard down and ignoring how you could literally see his dick throbbing in his sweatpants.  
Serves him right. 
Once his breathing was as back to normal as possible, you decided it was time to attack. His body was still tense and you knew he was not paying attention to the TV, probably stuck in his head trying to come up with another plan since his first one failed, his feet twitching restlessly. 
Maybe Mingi was right, why couldn't you two just fuck like normal people without having to write a 600 pages long tactical book on how to get to it? 
Ignoring the deep voice of reason sighing in your head – Oh god, when did Mingi become the voice of reason on anything? - you quickly climb on top of Wooyoung to straddle him. He tried to sit up in reaction but your palm against his chest pushed him back down. He stared up at you in surprise, mouth opening and closing like a fish as he scrambled for something to say. 
“You know what we can do, though?” You asked, bending down so you could kiss his neck.  
“What?” He stuttered; shivers running up his body caused by your warm mouth against his skin. 
“You´ll see.” 
You felt his pulse racing under your lips, tracing his vein with kisses and gentle bites, even a suck here and there to leave a mark because you wanted him to look in the mirror for the next weeks and remember the day he lost.  
Soft little moans and gasps filled your ears, his hands found your waist and held you like he wasn´t sure if he wanted to pull you closer or push you away. Wooyoung´s neck was just so sensitive, it was driving you insane.  
You pushed his shirt up to his chest as you slid down his body, lips trailing their way from his abdomen to the waistline of his sweats. This time you went straight to business, pulling his pants down enough so his cock could spring free and you were so happy with that you saw: Wooyoung was so hard, painfully hard - You allowed yourself to enjoy his suffering because 1. it was his own fault and 2. revenge.  
You gently wrapped your hand around his member and after wetting your lips, you pressed a kiss to his tip, his whole body shivered, and a choked moan left his mouth in response. You slowly traced his cock with your tongue from the bottom to the top and the groan echoing the walls was like music to your ears. His hands were gripping the sheets tightly. His whole body was tense. 
“Wooyoung, love,” You called with the sweetest voice you could mutter up. 
“What?” He answered in between gritted teeth as you finally wrapped your mouth around his tip. You circled your tongue around it slowly before giving it a gentle suck, letting spit dribble down as you pulled away. “Fuck.” 
“Pay attention. I´m going to be clear from the start,” You warn him, slowly pumping his now wet cock . “I´m not finishing you off, period. Now, should I continue or should I stop?” 
“Fuck. Continue,” He groaned at your ministrations. 
And you obeyed. You didn´t want to tease him anymore, you just wanted to get him worked up enough that he wouldn´t be able to think properly – and then, hopefully, he´d finally throw you down and fuck you without being annoying. 
You wrapped your lips around him once again, bobbing your head up and down, reaching deeper each time, twisting your hand at the base for some extra flare as Wooyoung´s hands found your roots. He bucked his hips in pleasure, pushed your head down once or twice in reaction to something you´d done, rewarded you with moans and groans. You kind of really enjoyed this but you´d be caught dead before admitting it - Wooyoung´s voice was just really nice. 
“Fuck, you´re good at this,” He groaned and you simply hummed in agreement, rejoicing at the moan he let out because of the vibrations around him. “Even better than I imagined. Fuck.” 
Your mind was also filled with curses, your walls desperately clenching around nothing as you mentally begged for Wooyoung to just fuck you soon or you´d cry. Hopeful, you sped up your actions, his breathing matching the fast new rhythm, and you could tell he was close by the way his hold on your hair got tighter and his hips started erratically bucking up. 
Ok, showtime. 
You waited for the exact moment his moans got higher to pull away from him, getting back on your knees and just staring at him, waiting to see what it was gonna be. 
He looked confused, then angry, then it seemed like he finally understood what he had agreed to. He stared at you like that for a few seconds and you were kind of starting to reconsider your whole life when he interrupted you; Wooyoung sat up and grabbed your waist, flipping you around so he was on top of you once again.  
“Ok, you won. Happy?” He was smiling but his eyes looked kind of dangerous, like a cat´s. His hand was around your neck, not squeezing it, just holding you down. 
“Won what?” You played dumb. 
“Stop,” He glared at you, unamused.  
“Ok.” 
“I´m going to fuck you now.” 
“Ok.” 
“Awn, is that all it took? Should have tried that earlier,” He teased, sitting on his knees to pull your shorts and panties down. “Need some more prepping or-” 
“Oh god, please no.” 
He chuckled at your reaction, bending down to give you a quick peck on the lips, “Pretty.” 
Why did that little kiss make you kind of giddy when the man was literally pulling his sweats back down and positioning his cock against you?  
You ignored the weird feeling as you felt Wooyoung finally entering you, a long moan echoing in the room. Why did he have to sound like that? 
“You can keep going,” You urged him when he didn´t immediately start moving, you were so fucking wet you think a fire extinguisher would suffer no resistance from your walls at this point.  
“Shit, wait,” He groaned with a laugh. “If I move right now, this party´s gonna be over real soon.” 
“The high oh mighty sex god Wooyoung?” You teased. 
“Shut up, I´ve been waiting for this for a long time,” His smile looked so attractive in that moment you kind of forgot what you were teasing him over.  
“Are you going to say it´s because I´m too hot?”  
“Yeah, actually.” He laughed. “I haven´t taken your shirt off yet because I don´t think I can handle seeing your boobs right night.” 
You laughed too, about to continue playing with him but he interrupted you by suddenly bottoming out. You clawed at his back in reaction, a surprised deep gasp leaving your lips.  
Wooyoung slowly pulled all the way out before filling you again, his hips smooth as you felt his skin against yours, the large veins on his cock brushing against your walls. Supported by both arms on your sides, he kept a languid pace, like he wanted you to feel every inch of him on every inch of you, and you were definitely feeling it. Your walls so sensitive after months of torture. 
His hair fell around his face and you pushed it back with a moan, wrapping your legs around his hips. Wooyoung bent down to catch your lips with his, the kiss matching the rhythm in which he rolled his hips, sensuous and unhurried.  
“Fuck,” he moaned as he broke apart from you, his arms literally shaking at the feeling of you swallowing him. “If I knew you felt like this-” 
“What would you have done?” You managed to breathe out with a smirk and a roll of your eyes, incredulous at his words. 
“I would have made you mine,” Wooyoung groaned as he slightly sped up his hips, your nails digging deeper on his skin and you arched your back when his cock started brushing against a certain place. 
“Never took you for the ah- possessive type.” 
“Only when it comes to you.” 
“Fuck me like you mean it then.” 
“Someone´s eager, huh?” 
“If I´m crushing my moral compass, at least it should be worth it.” 
He used one of his hands to grab at your cheeks once again, tighter this time, smirking down at you without slowing down his thrusts, “Ah, you want me to destroy you for any other man. Gotcha, pretty.” 
Well, you never thought you´d be hearing your best friend direct those words at you – and you definitely didn´t expect to be clenching around him over it.  
“Thought so,” He smiled.  
You were mesmerized by the way he looked so hot with that cocky smile, by how the mole under his eye drove you crazy, by the way he looked at you with so much desire and conceitedness at the same time – you subconsciously tightened your walls around him and he definitely noticed if the way he opened his pretty lips in a moan were anything to get by. 
His pace quickened up one more time and it got you seeing stars, Wooyoung laughing at your loud moan, “Admit that I´m good.” 
“Does it make you harder if I stroke your ego?” 
“It totally does.” 
“If you wanted to be praised, just say so.” 
“You wouldn´t, you don´t have it in you,” a thin layer of sweat was forming on his face, his tan skin glistening and you just wanted to lick it. 
“Give me something to praise you for.” 
Wooyoung laughed darkly before flipping you over without a warning, putting you on all fours with zero to no effort, cursing at the sight in front of him. He caressed his hands down your back before pushing your torso down, you groaned in surprise as your arms failed and you crashed on the bed, your left cheek meeting the sheets as he held your hips up.  
“I wanted to be nice, since you know, you´re my best friend,” He rambled as he admired the view for a second before laughing. “But I know you, should´ve known you´d want to be fucked like a slut.” 
“Wooyoung-” 
“What? Am I lying?” 
“Just get on with it,” You groaned. 
He chuckled loudly at your annoyance, choosing not to bite back because he too was very much in need of having his cock inside of you, and so he did. Wooyoung grabbed his member, positioning the head against your entrance, his other hand stayed in your lower back holding you down as he pushed himself in, feeling the way every inch of you squeezed around him. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn´t help but close his eyes to take the feeling in, hearing how his moans mixed with yours. 
“You really were needy, huh?” He groaned, shivering at the sensations. “You´re squeezing me so hard.” 
He didn´t expect an answer to that, and you wouldn´t be able to give him one anyways as he immediately began to move. You grabbed at the sheets, fingers turning whiter and whiter as Wooyoung sped up his hips, never losing the right angles to get you drooling - and you just caught yourself thinking this is something people would go to war over.  
You could not hold back your moans and Wooyoung was only going faster and harder by the second, your cheek was getting burnt because of the friction with the sheets, your sensitive nipples were rubbing against the bed with each thrust, and you think your eyes were closed but you couldn't be certain. 
This was a whole new world and you were not sure you´d survive adventuring in it. 
Suddenly, you were dragged away from your state of pure bliss by the hair – literally. Wooyoung had grabbed at your strands to pull you up against him, forcing you to stand on your knees, his back pressed to your back.  
In this new position, his cock reached deeper into you and his skin dragged against different spots of your walls. You were babbling away, complete nonsense, especially when Wooyoung took advantage of the easy access to start sucking harshly on your neck, your hand flying to his thigh behind you, where you dug your nails into. When he was done, he grabbed at the hem of your shirt, lifting it off you in one quick pull, looking over your shoulder at the view. You didn´t miss the way his cock twitched inside of you, his groan right against your ear. Wooyoung hands automatically flied to your boobs, massaging them, squeezing them, toying with your nipples while not slowing down his hips one bit.  
“Hang in there,” Wooyoung ordered when he felt how your walls were spasming around him, voice shaky because of his non-stopping thrusts.  
“I can´t.” 
“Will you really give me the – ah – satisfaction of cumming first?” You could feel his smile against your neck, before he bit your skin playfully. 
It was not even on purpose the way you clenched around Wooyoung, earning a whine from him in response, his forehead meeting your shoulder. The smirk you let out thought, was completely on purpose. You wouldn´t let him get that cocky. 
“Don´t worry, pretty. I´m a gentleman, ladies are always first,” He managed to tease in between thrusts. One of his hands left your boob, snaking it softly down your abdomen until his fingers found your clit.  
You were a goner. Wooyoung´s cock ravished you while he drew circles against your clit with the pad of his middle finger, his lips on your neck left wet kisses all over, vibrating against your skin with each moan he let out. His left hand was still playing with your boobs and you felt tears stinging your eyes from the way you were holding your orgasm inside, not wanting him to win this new silent war. Your teeth sunk into the back of your hand to keep yourself grounded, squeezing your eyes shut to relieve the burn. 
Wooyoung felt what you were doing, chuckling darkly against your ear as he finally left your neck alone, “Who would have thought, huh? Miss we´re-never-fucking crying on my cock.” 
You tried to fight back, but the second you left your hand go, a moan filled the room and your head fell. Wooyoung´s left hand abandoned your boobs to find its new place around your neck, holding your head up on his shoulder, and no matter how much you fought it, the moment he squeezed his fingers around your throat, you couldn´t hold it in anymore.  
“Woo,” You tried to warn him, hands looking for anything you could grab behind yourself and finding his hair. 
He pressed around your neck harder, turning his head so his lips would be right against your ear as he pleaded, “Let go. I need to see how you look when you cum, I´ve been imagining it for so long. You sound so good, you feel so good, fuck.” 
And suddenly, it´s like everything went quiet for a second before it all exploded, destroying everything on its way. The orgasm ripped you apart like an atomic bomb, engulfing you whole, leaving you blind, deaf and shaking. You gasped for air, feeling like your legs were failing you after the waves of pleasure were still hitting you for way longer than they should. Wooyoung in turn, after fantasizing about this for so long, expected to be ready for it, but oh boy, he wasn´t. Even if he fucked you for years, he doesn´t think he´d ever be prepared for the way your walls clenched around him so tight he almost couldn´t move, or the way you pulled on his hair harshly enough to almost rip his strands out, but what he would never get over, was how you sounded; not even in his craziest fantasies could he ever create such beautiful sounds – he was 99.5% sure he would be able to cum just by listening to your moans alone. So whiny, so desperate, so you. 
He didn´t stop, ensuring you´d have the best damn orgasm of your life, his fingers working on you all throughout your high, even when he felt his own approaching, bucking his hips into you like an animal just desperate to get there. His teeth found the juncture of your shoulder and neck once again as he reached his peak in a few deep thrusts, holding onto you for dear life. Only then his fingers stopped and you finally started coming back to reality, feeling as Wooyoung came inside of you, hearing his heavy breathing against your skin, the way his fingers let go slightly from your neck and how he pressed a few chaste kisses to your neck as he came down from his high, paying special attention to his bite mark. 
“Fuck,” He managed to breath out, gently removing his hands from you. 
As expected, you immediately tumbled down into the bed, legs completely gone at the point. You whined at him for dropping you and he simply chuckled tiredly, muttering a sorry before flopping down next to you. Your eyes were closed but you felt his weight next to you as he gently removed your hair out of your face. 
“So?” He asked. 
“So what?” You groaned, not bothering to look at him. 
“Feeling better?” 
“Ask me again when my legs stop shaking.” 
“Well, I guess that´s an answer on its own.” 
Wooyoung had created a whole new problem without knowing it. Yes, it was truth that you got the sexual frustration and touch deprivation out of you, but now you´d never be able to get over this. You´d remember how Wooyoung ate you out every time you met, of how he fucked you until you cried every time you looked at your bed, how he made you ride his face every time you looked at his stupid nose; and the worst part was that, once you get needy again, you won´t want anyone else to fix it for you. Wooyoung truly ruined you for any other man. 
“Can you tell me if I did a good job, at least?” His voice sounded soft, so you opened your eyes to look at him because the tone and the question were so out of character for him. 
“The Jung Wooyoung worried about others´ opinions?” 
“I wouldn´t if it was anyone else, but it´s you.” 
“Woo, don´t get cocky,” You warned with a sigh. “And if you ever bring this up I´ll deny it until the day I die, but this was life changing.” 
“Oh, wow. I really did fuck you stupid.” 
“And you´ve ruined it,” You rolled your eyes.  
“C´mon, I´m just playing. I´m glad I made you feel good. What do you want from me now? Cuddles? Something to drink?” 
And suddenly you remember why this whole mess started in the first place. 
“Yeah, actually.” 
────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────
“Stop looking at me like you´re in love with me,” You warned as the hot water comfortably burned your skin. 
“I do love you,” His eyes looked so soft under the moonlight shining through the window. 
“I said in love, not love.” 
“Is there a difference?” 
“Yeah?” 
He shrugged, “All I know is that I love you.” 
“Awn, you like like me?” You teased.  
“Would that be such a horrible idea?” 
“Wooyoung.” 
“What?” 
“You´re pussy drunk.” 
“That too,” He lazily smiled, gently hugging you under the stream so you were chest to chest. 
You felt his hot skin against yours as he simply held you there in the dark, his chin resting on top of your head as he softly swinged the two of you side to side, your hands around his waist. This was heaven to you; this is what you were literally crying over all those weeks ago. 
“We should try it out,” He continued after a few minutes of comfortable silence, running his fingers down your back.  
“What?” 
“Dating.” 
You laughed at the idea, knowing he didn´t really mean it, “I don´t think that would go very well.” 
“Why not?” 
“I mean, we´re complete opposites. I´d give it less than two months before we´re calling it quits and choking each other to death.” 
“We´ll never know until we try.” 
“And you decided you want to?” 
“I guess. Turn around, let me shampoo your hair.” 
You obeyed, handing him the bottle so he could get to work, the chill air immediately hitting you. 
“Wooyoung, I know you love me, but I don´t think you do romantically.” 
“I´m not sure I know the difference,” He answered genuinely, rubbing the shampoo onto your roots. “But I do know that I want to be able to kiss you again.” 
And he was right, you didn´t need to overcomplicate things as usual, it was as simple as that: you also wanted to kiss him again, so why not? 
“Ok, yeah. I guess we could try. First Cristiano Ronaldo impression and we´re breaking up, though.” 
A/N: Who wants a little epilogue of how their dating experience will go? lol
taglist: @wyrated @ohhwaa @bianca9889r @pnkified @i-love-ateez @luvleejuyo @rndm2413 @skittyneos @lyracarvahall @popialover @tunafishyfishylike @cherry-yoongs @sagittariusmoonlover @kosmicbomb @honniebabez @rose948 @khjoongie98 @jintastic-yuyu @evangelinemyamor @insomniacatiny @idfkimhereforsmut @yeetyeetbitchz @vixensss @msfixon @socutesotall @tatototat @e3ellie @zombiecheri @luvvfayte @thicksimpx @yeetyeetbitchz @xosannie @katykatmeow @donnakim87 @mimimimimimis-world @topazzateez @dawn-iscozy
1K notes · View notes
cordidy · 22 days ago
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Inviting them..
The L&Ds guys reacting to YOU paying for a date 🥰 (cause we like being spoiled but we are strong independant women too !)
It's my first L&Ds HC and english os not my mother tongue so please be nice 🙏
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Zayne remains unphased by that. He is a pragmatic after all and while he loves spoiling the shit out of you, he also knows you like to be independant.
Big dates like fancy restaurants or trips will be for him (I mean, he is a doctor ffs) but afternoon coffee or, God forbides, quick unhealthy lunches before the movies or in between work are yours.
Neither of you mention it and it's a very normal thing (although he will never back of from paying if money is tight cause you had an unexpected expenditure)
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It was a stupid accident !
Xavier had woken up late for your date and forgotten his wallet in the process. He was MORTIFIED when he realized he did not have any payment method, even more so when he saw you casually take out your own card like it's nothing at all. How could you be ok with him, your knight in shinning armor, using YOUR money ?!
Yet...it kind of feels nice to be provided for right ?
And you look soooooo happy as you tease him for being a "pampered little princess" since you paid for his coffee.
He will make sure to forget his wallet from time to time just to see your happy face.
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The waiter starts to actually wonder if he should call an ambulance considering how much Rafayel is dying from laughter.
"You want to pay ?" If a look could kill he would be dead considering how embarrassed you are as you get red as a tomato.
Yes it's a fancy place but, come on, you work !
"Sure sure little Guppy" he adds, pating your head while CRYING as he gives his card to the waiter who doesn't know how to react as you start to pout.
9 for Rafayel - 0 for you still
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Sylus LOVES IT.
At first, of course, he doesn't. You are his princess, his world, his everything and all he wants is to spoil the shit out of you as you deserve it just because you grace him with your presence buuuuut....
People are always around him for his money or power....
Even the twins started like this before becoming like annoying little brothers so, when he sees you readying your card in a Linkon coffee to pay for both your drinks, he is, for the first time, throwned off. Even more so as you act like it's the most normal thing in the world. After all, he "paid diner last night in a fancy restaurant and it's just coffee" you shrug off, rolling your eyes.
He will keep spoiling you and paying for basically everything but THIS cafe is your kingdom and whenever you go there, he gets to be "spoiled" (although he bought the place and put the money it makes on a private bank account for you)
516 notes · View notes
tgcg · 10 months ago
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bad mouther, hole master
TG: kissing with tongue is gross as hell
CG: COME THE FUCK OFF IT.
TG: what
CG: I'M SAYING SHUT UP.
TG: oh
CG: IT'S NOT THAT WEIRD. IT'S LIKE THE NATURAL PROGRESSION OF REGULAR KISSING TO EVENTUALLY INCLUDE THAT. IF YOU HAD ANY SEMBLANCE OF ROMANCE GHOSTING THROUGH THE DEVOLVING REMNANTS OF YOUR THINKPAN YOU'D APPRECIATE WHAT IT BRINGS TO THE NUTRITION PLATFORM OF ANY CONSENTING CONCUPISCENT RELATIONSHIP!
TG: youre talking about it like its a goddamn military weapon or some shit
TG: some kinda scientific fuckin method to fondle a dudes mouth with your own mouth thats
TG: thats gross
TG: this isnt supposed to be a debate before fuckin congress on the pros and cons of getting your mack on
TG: its i would say a reasonably personal thing to react about and thats just my reaction man you dont gotta arbitrate it
TG: and like why the hell do they have to linger on it so long in these movies do they really want me to immerse myself in people necking each other that much
TG: roll the sounds around in my earholes like im swilling a fine fuckin wine
TG: well my professional opinion is that shit tastes and sounds mad gross and tbh i havent seen a single movie where it was close to being any kind of necessary
TG: its just a cringy waste of everyones time
CG: YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, AND I DISAGREE WITH EVERYTHING THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR IGNORANCE GASH, YOU LUMP OF TIGHT-LIPPED CLUELESSNESS.
TG: did you just homestar me
CG: FOR THE SAKE OF ARGUMENT, SINCE YOU'RE APPARENTLY DESPERATE TO START SHIT WITH ME RIGHT NOW: HAVE YOU EVER EVEN DONE IT?
TG: hell no
CG: THANK YOU FOR PROVING MY POINT.
TG: proving your point--
TG: bro have uh
TG: have YOU???
CG: EXCUSE ME? HAVE I WHAT?
TG: come on
TG: i walked into this stupid conversation with a fucking shovel and by god am i digging myself a damn hole big and wide enough for every dave across time to squeeze in so i might as well get cosy in this shit before we all start collectively shoving dirt in our mouths
TG: bet your ass im taking you down with me though
TG: grab your spade and get digging man
CG: GRAB MY WHAT????????
TG: just tell me
CG: ???????!!!!!!!!
TG: karkat
CG: NO!
TG: f-
CG: WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!!!!! WHAT PART OF "SHUT UP" DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND????
TG: wait no
TG: oh my god dude
TG: you can spin that shit all you want but you can do it the hell away from me
TG: i do not need to be hip to your weirdo foursquare fantasies
TG: patently not my business
CG: STOP RIGHT THERE. JUST SHUT IT. I AM PUTTING US OUT OF OUR MISERY RIGHT NOW. I AM CONDUCTING AN ACT OF MERCY ON THIS INSANE FUCKING CONVERSATION AND YOU ARE GOING TO ZIP YOUR LIPS AND TAKE IT.
CG: HERE IT IS: YOUR SINGLE OPPORTUNITY TO PRETEND YOU NEVER SAID THAT TO ME. I AM GOING TO FORGET YOU MADE A COMPLETE MOCKERY OF ME AND MY CULTURE THIS ONE TIME. AND LET YOU CONTINUE TO DIG YOUR STUPID, SHITTY HOLE.
CG: AND DAVE, I AM BEGGING YOU NOT TO WASTE IT.
CG: TO ANSWER YOUR SHOCKINGLY INAPPROPRIATE QUESTION, NO I HAVE NOT DONE IT.
CG: WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK.
CG: HAPPY?
TG: ……..
TG: way to defuse the situation solid work
TG: real gold star effort grabbin that lit wick and blowing on it
TG: ok first of all you asked me first so dont act like im the one being a weirdo about this
TG: second of all i didnt mean it like that and you know it
TG: THIRD of all what the hell was the point of engaging the knightly theatrics then if you cant even verify that shit
CG: WELL FUCK, SORRY DAVE! I GUESS I'M JUST A FUCKING ROMANCE ENTHUSIAST! I GUESS I GIVE A MAJOR SHIT ABOUT THE THING YOU'RE OPENLY MOCKING TO MY FACE! IS THAT SO IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO WRAP YOUR THOUGHT SPONGE AROUND?
CG: AND IT WAS COMPLETELY REASONABLE FOR ME TO ASK YOU THAT, YOU CONGEALED FETID NOOKSTAIN! MY STATUS ON THE MATTER HAS LITERALLY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE POINT EITHER OF US IS TRYING TO MAKE.
CG: TRY TO KEEP YOUR NUGBONE FROM CAVING IN ON ITSELF WHEN I DROP THIS BOMBSHELL: I'M ALLOWED TO HAVE OPINIONS ON THINGS I ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT, EVEN IF I HAVEN'T DONE THEM! I DON'T JUST GO TROUNCING THE FUCK ABOUT LOBBING MY UNFOUNDED OPINIONS AT PEOPLE LIKE I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING. UNLIKE SOMEONE WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE INVOLVED IN THIS CONVERSATION WE'RE HAVING RIGHT NOW!
TG: youre
CG: I’M TALKING ABOUT YOU BY THE WAY. THE SOMEONE IS YOU.
TG: oh gimme a break
TG: bro youre going apeshit over something you havent even done
TG: you know what that sounds like to me it sounds like an overcompensating fake fan who doesnt get any
TG: you heard of troll napoleon complex
CG: AT LEAST I ACTUALLY FORMED MY OPINION BASED ON CAREFUL CONSIDERATION --
TG: -- oh yeah i bet huh
CG: -- INSTEAD OF JUST BANKING ON NUBJERK --
TG: -- not a real thing you just said
CG: -- REACTIONS AND WRINKLING MY SNIFF NUB AT ANY SIGNS OF GENUINE PHYSICAL INTIMACY!
TG: stop saying nub
CG: YOU EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED BULGEWAD
TG: not too much worse than being a perpetual fountain of emotional diarrhea
CG: DON'T YOU DARE.
CG: DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO USE THAT AS A "GOTCHA", YOU--… YOU! FUCK!
TG: dude did you actually run out of insults
TG: okay this is getting concerning
TG: youre the international dude of verbal dunks
TG: that can not be happening
CG: AAGHRJRGHJRGRHJAGHRJGRHJAGRHJRGRHJRGRHRJR
TG: you cant run out of em youre like the ultimate peddler of hate
CG: YOU DON'T THINK I'M CRITICALLY AWARE OF THE HOOFBEASTSHIT I'M SPEWING NIGH FUCKING CONSTANTLY?! I AM PAINFULLY COGNIZANT OF HOW MORONIC EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS!!!!
TG: feel like ive done some damage here
CG: ESPECIALLY MYSELF!
TG: alright bud time to calm down
CG: YOU CALM DOWN!!!!
TG: okay whatever!
CG: WHATEVER!!!!!!!!
TG: jeez
TG: here
CG: UGH.
TG: yeah
TG: really glad stuff like this happens in private
CG: YEAH. SAME HERE.
CG: JEGUS, CAN WE GO BACK TO BEFORE WE HAD THIS CONVERSATION? I DON'T ASK YOU MANY FAVORS, SO SURELY YOUR SLURRY OF ILL-DEFINED TIME POWERS CAN ALLOW YOU TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
CG: JUST LIKE, WIPE THAT WHOLE THING OFF THE SLATE.
CG: LET'S START OVER. SAY, FIVE MINUTES AGO. HOW DOES THAT SOUND?
TG: what conversation?
CG: OKAY, GOTCHA.
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miya-rin · 4 months ago
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“what the fuck do you two think youre doing?”
shit, you think, you didnt notice the balcony door had been slid open until you heard the voice of one of your brothers. you start to pull away from suna’s lips which earns you a small whine from his end, his grip tightens around you and honestly it its quite cute the way he is trying so hard to savour the moment. “come back later, we’re kinda busy.” the boy mutters before trying to move your face away from the distraction so that he can kiss you once more.
“suna you get your hands off of her right now, i dont give a fuck that its your birthday.” osamu pipes up, he looks furious and a little bit disgusted, if it hadnt been for the situation youre in right now you would think its kind of funny.
“samu lay off him, it was a mutual agreement, im just as guilty as he is ok?” that does not seem to help the boys understand, if anything they seem even more angry with you both.
“what the fuck do you mean it was a mutual agreement? are you two hooking up or something? yn he just turned 18 a few hours ago are you forgetting that?” atsumu says, he is rambling on with every excuse he can think of as to why this is “so wrong”, from the corner of your eye you can see suna trying so very hard to hide the grin that is creeping its way onto his face, his hands still all over you despite the fact that you arent alone anymore.
“listen, it was his birthday wish ok? i swear it didn’t mean anything,” sunas grip begins to loosen ever so slightly, “i just though it would get him off my back and get him over his little crush on me.” suna’s facial expression shifts but you choose to ignore it, you have bigger problems to deal with at the moment.
“no this is not ok, how would you feel if me or samu kissed one of your friends because it was their birthday wish?”
“that’s different, why would my friends want to kiss either of you?”
“excuse me? ill have you know that many women want to kiss me! and dont think youre getting off the hook either suna, ill make sure you never-“ you dont even want to hear the threat that is about to come out of his mouth, you just want to get out of this shitty situation.
“boys please, just give us five minutes to talk and then we will be back inside ok? i promise.” your efforts to plead with your brothers finally work.
“…fine,” atsumu mumbles, “but this better be a one time thing. im not gonna deal with you two being all lovey dovey around me.” and with that he lightly tugs on osamu’s sleeve, signalling him to walk back inside and continue the party. he closes the balcony door but not before bringing two fingers up to his eyes and then pointing them at the two of you. its a warning.
you turn back to suna and notice the sad look on his face - he looks kinda cute like this, “so, what do-“.
“did you really mean what you just said to them?” the poor boy looks heartbroken, after waiting three years to finally have a chance with the girl he loves wants the moment is ruined like that? “did you actually just do that so i would leave you alone?” his hands fully leave your body now and he takes a step back to put some distance between you two.
“well i mean sort of yeah… ive never looked at you in any way other than my brothers best friend if im going to be honest, i dont know if thats because of the age difference or what but ive never thought we could be anything.” the look of hurt is prominent on his face no matter how hard he tries to hide it, normally playful banter would have been thrown back and forth between the two of you but rintarou just stays silent, an indication that youve fucked up.
“listen suna i dont know what you want me to say, i wasnt really thinking when i said that to atsumu it just came out. i am 4 years older than you and many people would not approve of us if i decided to give you a chance.”
“who cares? i could treat you so right if you would just let me. i have waited entirely too long for this moment, all im asking for is one date.”
“you said that about the kiss too, one thing is never enough with you is it? you always need more.” a playful smile creeps onto your face which is outshined by the one on sunas, he knows that your smile means that you agree to go on a date with him.
“i really hope you arent fucking with me right now, that would be so cruel, especially on my birthday.”
“oh give the birthday excuse a rest now will you? you dont need to keep on at me you have already got what you want.”
“mhm i absolutely have,” he walks closer and once again wraps his arms around you, placing a hand under your jawbone to make you look up at him, “and i couldnt be happier.” he states as he pulls you in for a passionate kiss once more <3
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berryz-writes · 5 months ago
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Perfectly serious
Summary: Matheo's jealousy and want for you increases after seeing you with Theo to the point where he finally/kind of confesses
Matheo Riddle x reader
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His arm wrapped around my waist, bringing me even closer to him. "Come on, let's get you to bed" Theo murmured. I looked up at him confused "I'm not drunk". My head might feel light and I might feel extremely happy and sad at the same time but I was most definitely not drunk.
"Yes you are" He took my hand and led me away from the groups of people dancing together, taking his time to weave us in and around the drinks being passed around. Everyone gave me a smile as I left, Pansy giving me a wink as we passed "I bet he fucks good. Have fun babe!" She said, her words slurring slightly, her voice loud enough for Theo to hear. Maybe if he heard it he would act on it. I wouldn't mind getting in bed with him.
We soon reached my room, the music faded to a low sound coming from below us and the lights softer than the harsh party lights of before.
"Well...night y/n" Theo said.
"You know" I started, my voice low and sultry. "I wouldn't mind if you joined me, made things more interesting. Hm?" I tilted my head waiting for his answer, his eyes searching my face. For what I didn't know.
He gave me a soft smile "Your drunk. And when drunk, your ideas aren't really your own. So as much as I'd like to follow through with your idea, it's best you get some sleep"
I rolled my eyes at him being who he always was. I wished for once he would push the boundaries. "Fine. Night Theo"
"Sweet dreams" He dropped my hand and waited for me to close the door. I could hear his receding footsteps, probably to go up to his own dorm. I was relieved in a way. Maybe I wasn't actually ready to fuck him and it was just the alcohol making me want something more. We were good friends. I didn't want to ruin that for something that I didn't really want. Chocolate brown eyes crossed my mind. Curly hair that would feel so nice running my hands through-. Something that would never happen.
*Potions the next day*
"I didn't see you yesterday" I said to Matheo referring to the party yesterday. Stirring in the crushed up leaves into the steaming potion, I turned to look at him, his eyes were icy and cold as if I had done some personal wrong against him.
"Of course you didn't. You were too busy trying to estimate your chances with Theo. Heads up, princess. He has higher standards"
I ignored the nickname that would usually make me swoon and instead my mouth opened in shock. How fucking rude of him. Was he ok?
"Are you being serious right now?" I stopped stirring the potion and crossed my arms. I could take a joke but come on. He had taken it too far.
"Perfectly serious. Why? Did you think I was nice?" He stood up to tower over me, his minty scent washing over me. His chocolate brown eyes were like daggers into my soul. It hurt knowing someone I was good friends with could switch up so fast.
"No actually, I didn't. Your just like everyone says you are. You get with a girl for your own pleasure, lead her on and then leave her with a broken heart. Your a rude fucking asshole and nothing more"
His jaw clenched at what I said, waiting for me to say anything else. I didn't actually mean it but I would never let anyone disrespect me and not expect anything back.
I realised soon how close we were. If only he were to move slightly closer, I could have tipped my head upwards and kissed him. The fact that I was thinking about that even though he had insulted me was annoying for me. I shouldn't still like him. Not anymore.
"You really mean that?" His voice came out soft, his jaw no longer clenched. As if he understood what I had said. I hesitated. Of course I didn't. How could I? I liked him for fucks sake.
I sighed "I don't know"
He sat back down as if he were tired of our argument. As if he didn't want to argue with me.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said-"
"Let's just forget about it. Ok?" I didn't want to argue either. Maybe he was angry and took it out on me. Fine. I would give him a pass just this once seen as though we were such good friends. (If only we were more than that)
He nodded his head and we worked in silence for the next few minutes. Until he cleared his throat and looked toward me again "Listen y/n. I don't want us to ruin our...friendship for something I've said so let me treat you. Will you be free to come to the diner at eight?"
I paused and raised an eyebrow, smiling slightly "Are you asking me on a date or just as friends?" Confident of me to ask but I wanted to know where we stood.
After a pause he replied with "I'd be happy with either, as long as it's with you"
I thought about my next question "And if I want it to be a date?" I asked quietly.
He smiled "I was hoping you'd say that, princess"
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