#ok bitch. light the menorah

[hacksawboy]

gotta say the design decisions for the dude between postal 3 and postal 4 are kind of funny. im postal 3 he was a hot 20 something with transmasc swag but the game ended up being so shit that they decided to do a complete 180 and make him an old man with gray hairs. honestly i was a hater at first but yeah. you go girl. you go old man postal dude.

[vamptastic]

tbt to my school trip to dachau where i offered (as the only jewish person) to give a little info speech and say the mourner's kaddish and my civics teacher lectured me for asking if it was legal to read a prayer to my classmates 😭 like ok sorry we live in a state with a mandatory moment of silence before class starts and we only stopped praying to jesus at football games like two years ago meanwhile lighting a menorah next to the giant christmas tree in the square is technically illegal. forgive me if i'm unclear on how the establishment clause applies to public schools right now. Bitch.

[kisakunt]

i’m a fucming wreck ALSO GUYS ITS OFFICIALLY HANUKKAH FOR ME GUYS HAPPY HANUKKAH TELL ME HAPPY HANUKKAH

% A VERY KLAIR HANUKAH.

this is quite literally for @kisakunt ONLY!!! if you’re not blair and you even have the audacity of liking this i’m throwing you off the empire state building. i hope u enjoy blair <3 ILL TRY TO MAKE ONE WITH MIKEY TOMORROW!!! anyways happy hanukah!

“blair, i swear to fucking god,” kisaki muttered. to him, the blue hanukah sweater was a little too itchy, and the apron that said ‘worlds best latke maker’ was a little too tight around his waist, but to him it didn’t matter.

kisaki tetta knew just how important this holiday was for you. he knew you weren’t able to celebrate it much and you were hoping this year could be the year you can enjoy the holiday. you’ve been counting down the days since hanukah of last year and finally he was able to celebrate it with you today. he searched up all about hanukah - even trying to learn how to write it in hebrew to impress you - just so he can help make this holiday even more special for you. so when he whipped out potatoes and a grater out of a shopping bag, you were overjoyed.

but now tetta was rethinking his choices after you’ve been too busy eating sufganiyot and admiring him in his holiday attire.

“can you please,” he begged, “help me grate these goddamn potatoes?”

“i know i said i would,” you told him, mouth full of the jelly donut you bought earlier that day. “but this shit tastes so good.”

tetta walked up to you and wiped the jelly on the corner of your mouth. “fucking dumbass…”

you handed him a donut - caramel flavored - for the two of you to feast on together. you held it up to his mouth he took a bite of it, upper lip getting coated in the caramel filling. you couldn’t help but laugh and wipe it off. tetta, however, didn’t have a change in expression and remained uninterested, although all he wanted to do was smile with you and eat the donut you were feeding him, but he had to make a point. “the latkes are going to burn, blair.”

“fine,” you give in, setting the sufganiyah aside. you wrapped the matching apron around your waist and stood beside your boyfriend as he resumed frying the latkes in the pan. you did your job, grating the potatoes, as kisaki did the rest. how he knew how to make fucking latkes, you had no idea.

at long last, the latkes were done. stars sprinkled the sky outside and you knew it was finally time. you untied (yanked) the apron off of kisaki and pulled him towards the menorah sitting by the window. two multicolored candles stood tall on the small, gold menorah, waiting to be set aflame. you took the tallest candle and lit it. after the blessing was said, the lone candle on the right was lit up as well.

kisaki found it beautiful. the lights brightening the dark room, the aroma of fresh latkes and sufganiyot around the house, the dreidel and chocolate gelt waiting to be played with on the table. the whole holiday was magical to him. “there’s eight days of this, right?”

“yup,” you said, pride flashing across your face. “eight days of me kicking your ass in dreidel. scared?”

“you fucking wish,” he smirked. he knew the ins and outs of dreidel, and although it was a game of luck he wasn’t going to let you win.

you shoved him, a matching smirk on your face. but you paused for a moment, staring at the hanukah candles glowing in front of you. finally you were able to celebrate the holiday, and with the love of your life, at that. kisaki walked towards you and wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him. you didn’t push him away.

“happy hanukah, blair,” he whispered, pressing his lips against your cheek.

“chag sameach, tetta.”

kisaki momentarily pushed you away. “hold on,” he said, “i didn’t learn those words yet.”

yet again that night, you laughed at him. and you laughed at him again and again under the menorah light.

[dilf-manifester]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60 for the ask thing ;));););)))

wow :smirk: thank u for the ask 

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? wine glasses 😌✨they make me feel fancy yk how it is

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? lollipops ✨dunno why im like this but here i am ig

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? bubblegum bcs?? have yall tried the hello kitty grape bubblegum??? that shit slaps

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? as was with every gay person “a pleasure to have in class”

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? cans bcs then i can crush it with my hands and flex on everyone else

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? goth and formal bcs uhh yeah 

7. earbuds or headphones? earbuds 🤧i dont like the fact that people can hear ur music with headphones

8. movies or tv shows? uHHH i’d have to say tv shows 😩i can pay more attention to shorter episodes yk

9. favorite smell in the summer? the mix of humid summer air and those mosquito candles

10. game you were best at in p.e.? bro im gay did u actually think i would be good at pe 

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? i don’t 🥰thanks for asking!

12. name of your favorite playlist? either songs for when the drip or fuck i got blood on my nice white shirt

13. lanyard or key ring? keyrings r better dont @ me

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? black licorice cats 😳😳they’re so good like holy shit

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? the bell jar 😔👉👈its one of my favorite books to this day

16. most comfortable position to sit in? on the floor or with my legs hanging over the arm of the chair

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? leopard print slip ons 🙈🙈they’re so comfortable i stg

18. ideal weather? snowy so i can just sit inside with the fireplace going and do some writing 

19. sleeping position? uHHHH idk what to call it but i think the closest thing is fetal position 😭

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? honestly whatever scrap of paper is closest 😭im not picky

21. obsession from childhood? dinosaurs. that’s it that’s the post.

22. role model? i have a few but markiplier (cringe ik) and john green r my main ones🤧🤧🤧i just look up to them a lot yk

23. strange habits? i always have to knock on a door 5 times before entering and okay that might seem excessive but as it turns out idc

24. favorite crystal? malachite or tiger’s eye 😳

25. first song you remember hearing? brown sugar by the rolling stones 😭my mom used to have sticky fingers on vinyl so she used to play it constantly

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? swim even tho i am AWFUL at it

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? play in the snow or just sit inside with the fire going bcs im literally 5 years old mentally

28. five songs to describe you? she’s out of her mind by blink 182, goddamn by never loved, do what you want by ok go, impressive depressive by bad luck, and true romance by she wants revenge

29. best way to bond with you? just talk to me straight up or send me music recs pls

30. places that you find sacred? cemeteries and abandoned schools. they have a rlly specific vibe to them ngl

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? uhhh so its rlly just my docs, black jeans, a mesh type undershirt and whatever top shirt i pull out of my drawer

32. top five favorite vines? is that a police??? im calling the weed❗❗, stAHp i could’ve dropped my croissant, that one where the alien’s walking on the treadmill, summer solstice summer summer solstice, and zach stop 

33. most used phrase in your phone? ‘omfg what the fuck’ bcs for some reason thats my automatic response to anything

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?  whatever the fuck the ad for the 2001 buick lesabre was 

35. average time you fall asleep? like uHHH 12:15 am 🤧

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? doge 😭😭idk why i remember it so vividly but my sister showed me the orignal doge meme and i thought it was the funniest shit

37. suitcase or duffel bag? suitcase 🤧they make me feel cool

38. lemonade or tea? both 🙈i’m an arnold palmer kinda mf

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? lemon meringue pie 🤧banger dessert methinks

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? a fence caught on fire in front of the science rooms bcs someone was smoking weed on the roof and threw their blunt on the dead bushes and everything went downhill from there

41. last person you texted? my grandma asking her if she could pick up some tomatoes from vons 🧍‍♂️

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? JACKET POCKETS SUPREMACY❗❗❗

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? ngl i wear all of those but i gotta go with the hoodie 🤧🤧

44. favorite scent for soap? lavender or vanilla rose😌✨

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? sci-fi bcs uhh yea fuck it thats why

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? just an oversized shirt that’s it that’s the post

47. favorite type of cheese? swiss or havarti and you can fight me on that

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? pineapple 😌😌😌

49. what saying or quote do you live by? ‘fuck’ -markiplier 2021

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=553CfZAADag i swear the first time i saw that i laughed so hard i thought i was gonna die

51. current stresses? everything; next question

52. favorite font? comic sans bcs im 8 years old 

53. what is the current state of your hands? smoov and v well taken care of 

54. what did you learn from your first job? capitalism is the root of all evil and that traditional working is outdated also raise the minimum wage 

55. favorite fairy tale? vasilii the beggar 🤧🤧idk if anyone else knows it but its always been one of my favorites

56. favorite tradition? every year during rosh hashanah we go over to my uncle and tia’s house and i absolutely kick ass at mariokart bcs all my cousins suck at itn also lighting the hannukiah (hanukkah menorah)

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? low self esteem, anxiety over literally everything, and an inferiority complex (now replaced with a fucking god complex bcs there’s no inbetween for me)

58. four talents you’re proud of having? i can play like a bunch of instruments, im rlly good at writing, i’m good at building things and doing things with my hands, and i can identify what song’s playing rlly fast if i know it🤧

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? motherfucker or son of a bitch 😊😊😊

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? slice of life like bro just please give me a break

[gobsnacc]

Damn my cousin is so fucking SELFISH

i told her this year lets either not celebrate the holidays because we have other things to do or celebrate in a non traditional way or get a fake menorah and tree (like advent calendars for both) because the younger kittens arent mature enough for a tree and FIRE yet. They’ll destroy the tree and ornaments if we had them and might knock over the menorah or light themselves on fire.

But does she listen?

No.

SHE WANTS HER HOLLIDAY ITEMS BECAUSE IT TIES HER INTO TRADITION.

So whats happened?

Kittens almost lit themselves on fire

Kittens almost lit hotel room on fire

Kittens have stolen ornaments (lucky its just little toys i had lying around but now some are missing and i gotta go find em)

Kittens are chewing on tree and fucking with it. (Could hurt themselves if they swallow tree bits because its a fake tree and could break the fiber optics of the tree)

Basically everything i SAID would happen.

So i get angry and say “i told you we should have waited a year till they calmed down. And just not had the real things this year.”

She goes “THEY WILL NEVER CALM DOWN”

Like, the fuck? Yes they will! They need some time! Hell even the older kittens wanna fuck with the tree!

Then she goes: “Well lets just not celebrate then! Since you don’t want too!” (Which is true, i hate all hollidays except halloween but even that ones on thin fucking ice because of her)

So i say “all i said was we dont have the damn tree because i knew they would do this, they arent ready yet.”

So she says “Well i want the tree! It ties me back to my traditions/ancestors”

Like rachel i swear to god. I miss decorating the tree properly too. It ties me back to happier times too. Sort of. But this year it wasnt FEASIBLE. So now I get to hear her yell at the kittens MORE.

Shes ruining every good feeling any holliday could have for me because she has to do everything her way on the hollidays.

I cant wait till i start my life. Maybe then ill like the hollidays. Or maybe ill continue to hate them. But at least i wont be forced to celebrate them. I can choose if i want too.

Selfish bitch. Being disabled doesnt give you a pass for all the bullshit you inflict upon people around you. You just use it as an excuse to not give a damn. and i know this because i work for you. Ive seen what you can do when YOU want something and care about it. But when anyone else cares its not important enough.

Ok rant over.