#ok back to devils moon (sob)

[a-libra-writes]

could an allistic person do THIS?

[radio-fmm]

I crave Sanji angst 😝

here, my humble offering

Human

Sanji x reader

angst/comfort, gn reader

In which you find Sanji chopping vegetables at 2 in the morning

Masterlist

A shiver ran down your spine making you shift in your sleep, hands looking for your lovers warmth only to be met with an empty side of the bed. Your heart stops and you jolt up to double check, you look out the open window, by the position of the moon it could not be pass 2 am

Where was Sanji?

Worry washes over the sleepiness making your body stand up, put on your slippers with the mission of finding that damn cook. He wasn’t on night watch, his breakfast prep didn’t started in a couple of hours, the sun was still wrapped under the covers of the night sky and the tie calm lulling the strawhats to sleep soundly

Walking down the hallway you peek trough every door and window of The Sunny, being met with dark empty rooms or your crew mates fast asleep, snoring the night away. Suddenly you hear the familiar sound of chopping coming from the kitchen, the light shining warm illuminating your way trough, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion and growing worry

It had come up to your attention that Sanji was used to have anxious fits and sleepless nights were he’d found his mind steering him awake, memories of his past turning into nightmares that haunted him. Regardless of how torturous some nights would feel, shoulders heavy, eye bags hanging, head spinning, Sanji would rarely talk about this fits, saying “Don’t worry that pretty head of yours with me, my love” brushing the matter off only for you to end up holding him tight as he poured his heart out with salty tears on your shoulders

You wished he hadn’t allowed it to get so bad tonight

Carefully you cracked the door of the kitchen open, Sanji never leaving his position, eyes fixed on the vegetables being chopped not noticing your form by the frame of the door

He looked tired

A sigh leaves your mouth as your heart clenches in pain, wondering why weren’t you blessed with a devil fruit or a power form above that could take that pain of his away; all you could offer him right now, was your presence and an ear to listen

“Sanji?” You break him away from his task, his eyes opened wide as they scanned you now approaching the counter, sitting in front of him

Sanji’s body language shifted the instant you entered his field of vision, but you know him well enough to know this is just a facade, noticing the redness and puffiness around his eyes, his stare shattered while he paints a sweet smile over it

“My love, hope I didn’t wake you up” and just like that he’s back to chopping the broccoli, hands moving fast, with an earned precision. You stay quiet, a small fiber of your being hoping he’ll drop this act and just come forward with what’s plaguing his mind, but even if he doesn’t its ok, you’ll be here regardless

“It’s 2 am Sanji, what are you doing?” his movements slow down, his eyes still zeroed on the vegetable

“Thought i’d get started on the food prep early”

“Sanji…” your tone becomes a little heavier, you hated speaking this way specially to him, but you knew if you didn’t press at least a little, the cook would stay the whole night up chopping and preparing food until he’d passed out on the stove

It was rare to see Sanji’s hands tremble, but when he felt your body get up from your seat and walk towards him, it was impossible for them to not to. His breath hitches as the deafening sound of your step getting closer and closer froze him, tears already threatening to spill out of his tired eyes

One of your hands settled on top of his, while the other discarded the knife, instinctively you pulled him closer embracing him in a tight reassuring hug that had him breaking down on you almost at the touch. His hands held you back as he sobbed in the crook of your neck, soothing circles going up and down his back as you whispered

“It’s ok, let it out”, “I’m here”, “Everything’s gonna be fine”

Your sweet voice fell on his ears making him melt even more, sobbing turning into intense crying that had you now sitting on the kitchen floor, his tired legs giving up on him

“I’m sorry” he says, voice broken in barely a whisper that breaks your heart, but you pull yourself together, for him

“Don’t say that, there’s nothing wrong with being vulnerable, I’m always here for you” is in these moments Sanji knows there most be a heaven, a guardian angel that send you his way, to hold him and protect him, to love him unconditionally and be so gentle, a word he had never really understood the extent of the real meaning until you had held him close to your heart

A silence falls like a warm blanket on top of you, his crying ceasing, breath calming as his eyes finally meet yours. There’s a certain embarrassment behind Sanji’s eyes that you still cannot concoct into the correct words to express how it shatters you, all you can say is

“Don’t be ashamed to be human, Sanji” your gaze never wavers from his, speaking every word loud and clear making sure he gets it, and he does

He feels undeserving of such love and care, anyone that has known the both of you could see it in his everyday devotion to you, breaking himself apart for you to feast, being on your call and foot every hour and moment of his days, simply noticing the way he looks at you. Pure adoration he offers you, but now as you walk back to your dorm beside him at almost 3 in the morning, tucking him in your bed his head in your chest as you kiss him good night, he knows adoration is not enough of a word

He loves you

[princessanonymous]

When Night Comes

Platonic Yandere Vampire

Previous Part | Next Part

First Chapter

Trigger Warning: A bit of gore and death. (Y/n) ain't ok guys.

21. 𝓒𝓸𝓻𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷

(Y/n) had thought she would finally be safe. She had thought she was free. 

As the night of the blood moon unfolded, everything spiraled into chaos. She shouldn't have left her guard down, yet she did. Her lapse in vigilance sealed her fate and that of so many others.

That night, she had looked out in the sky, painted in a deep, foreboding shade. Under the ominous shade of the sky, the moon gleamed brighter than ever, casting an eerie red glow. Its deep shade of red was unlikely to go unnoticed. She had slept that night, feeling as if she was finally free ; a momentary respite. Dorian would surely give up now. It was too late, he wouldn’t want to wait three other months, would he? His infatuation must have dwindled by now, he would eventually forget about her. 

She closed her eyes, feeling peaceful and relieved.

Until screams shattered the tranquility, pulled her out of slumber. Panic coursed through her entire body as she quickly rose, recognizing the sounds of pain and struggle from outside her room. A part of her already knew who the attacker was. A sinking realization gripped her — he had found her.

She placed a chair below the doorknob as a makeshift barricade even though she knew it would only buy her seconds. True to expectation, the door knob moved shortly after. Her defense stopped the vampire, though she was aware it was just a matter of time until he would brute force his way in.

"Doll," Dorian's voice oozed sickeningly sweet. "I know you are in there."

A surge of fear paralyzed her momentarily. Foolishly considering hiding under the bed, she dismissed the idea as impractical. The window seemed her only escape, but the second-floor fall carried its risks.

"Let me in, dear," he insisted.

Stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea, she hesitated. "(Y/N)," he snapped loudly and threateningly, "If you do not open this door now, you will regret it, young lady!”

She looked out the window, her heart beating rapidly. Outside, he began counting down, leaving her with no choice. She struggled to open the window; her hands were trembling and her vision was blurry. She had to get out. She could hear his voice, and she knew he wouldn’t remain patient for much longer. When "one" resounded, the window finally yielded. Simultaneously, the vampire burst through the door. She jumped out, but her landing was flawed — a sharp crack resonated through the night as her left leg met the ground. 

She cried out as she clenched her leg. Pain seared through her, yet the urgency to escape eclipsed it. She couldn't forget the danger following her. She fought against the tears and dizziness to run away as fast as she could. Every step was agonizing and the burning sensation didn't leave.

Despite her efforts, the Duke's supernatural speed prevailed. Capturing her effortlessly, she found herself back in the monster's clutches. Sobbing, she pleaded, "Let me go! I hate you, I hate—" Her words were cut short as he yanked her hair with a brutal grip.

Angry and bloodstained, he presented a menacing figure. Red eyes and sharp canines accentuated his fury. "You foolish girl," he spat out the words with venom, the hatred dripping from each syllable. 

With a cruel and relentless grip, he seized (Y/n) by the hair, the strands entwining around his bloodstained fingers. Her desperate screeches and uncontrollable sobs echoed through the night. As they arrived at the nunnery, he released his vice-like grip on (Y/n), who crumpled to the cold ground like a broken puppet. Her body convulsed with sobs.

"Look at it !" He ordered, his wrath clear to see. His command cut through the chaos, compelling her to witness the gruesome aftermath — a massacre.

It was a carnage. In front of her, there was nothing but death, the bodies of the nuns scattered around. The nuns lay dead, most decapitated, their kindness repaid with brutality. 

Red.

She only saw red. Everything was red. Her own hands were red. Red from the blood of these kind people that had let her stay with them.

"This," he said with scorn, "is mortality. A disease. An uncontrollable fate that comes to all humans. A parasite that has followed humanity for far longer than any of us could comprehend. Death comes for all. All except us. Do you now understand why I want to turn you ?"

He leaned down to her level, cupping her face in his hand softly, a stark difference to the strong grip he previously held on her hair. His eyes, bright red, and looking intensely at her, seemed to pierce through her entire being. “I want you to become something greater. Something far more powerful. Something Eternal.”

She sobbed uncontrollably, because there was nothing else she could do. She was helpless next to this being, overwhelmed by the carnage before her. At her reaction, his eyes grew colder and he stood up. "We are going home," he ordered after some time. She offered no response, and he simply carried her, the pain of her broken leg hadn't subsided either.

The girl squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lips during the entire journey, feeling an intense need to erase these images out of her mind.

With the vampire's speed, they arrived rapidly, the journey being a rapid blur of emotions and feelings. And once he quietly brought her to her room, once she was put in bed with care, once she thought everything was over, the vampire's fangs sunk deep into (Y/n)'s neck.

A scream echoed in her throat as two burning rods pierced her. Venom surged through her veins, scorching and annihilating everything in its path. As it reached her heart, her consciousness desperately attempted to cling to awareness amidst the excruciating pain. The room blurred, voices entered, and her eyes snapped shut. Darkness enveloped her, a cruel embrace as the transformation took hold. ☾ Killian's miscalculation unfolded like a haunting prophecy. In underestimating Dorian, he had unwittingly paved the way for a relentless pursuit. Dorian, fueled by an unyielding determination, had seemingly uncovered the whispers of a girl surviving a vampire assault, finding refuge under the protective wings of a nunnery.

As Killian roamed the shadows with his heightened senses, the cry of pain reached his ears, emanating from the girl's room. The realization struck him like a cold gust, sending shivers down his spine. 

She had been turned.

┉┈◈◉◈┈┉

It was mentioned in the last chapter that word of mouth had already been traveling about her situation, wasn’t it ? Dorian doesn’t like gossiping, but he’s willing to listen to any rumor to find her. ;)

[juhbebbie]

We are so back

Obsessed with this. You fuckin tell em babe. Also how did the guy not hear several fucking gun shots going off right outside the bathroom door lmfao

Ok serious for a moment. Aside from this panel being absolutely gorgeous, I love the theme of how Marc is constantly fighting tooth and nail to not be the person he fears he is. But he still uses that person as a weapon if he doesn't have any other choice. Ohhh the inherent corruption that takes place in the work he is doing to try to atone. I could go on but I won't

This is actually so cute their bickering<3 "unpredictable mercenary wild cards" suuuure whatever you say guys<33333 also frenchie looks like he's about to fucking snap lmfao

I also love this callback to devil's reign

Holy fucking shit. Cappucio's art will never cease to make my jaw drop. One of my favorite things about it is how in panels like this the lines are blurred and there are no hard outlines. He's standing there like the statue of khonshu from the 80s run (which im sure is intentional), but he also is towering over Marko while he kneels at his feet. Something something religious symbolism you love to see it

Live frenchie reaction

"Mon frère de guerre" though i fuckin love it. That's the frenchie we know and love he's so tired of Marc's bs

Holy. Fucking. Shit. Moon Knight made a ficking eldritch horror

His levels of petty are through the roof. I gotta know though did this actually kill him or did Hydra get the mind control stuff? How did black spectre get his hands on the research?

UNINTELLIGIBLE SOBBING

But okay I think I put it in the tags of some post I rbed but now I can't find it, but I said something to the effect of "I'm scared that Layla is dead because why else would she show up in city of the dead" and yknow. God damn it.

I had assumed (or hoped) that he and Layla would have just grown apart so that he'd end up with Marlene eventually, but this hurts me man. I think it is a little teensy bit messy because why would he or Frenchie never mention her after her death, but trying to write her in so far after the fact was never going to be seamless. Is it a little forced? Perhaps but it was always gonna be. Do I care? Absolutely fkin not I love Layla

This is sweet sorry I called you a bitch 8 ball. I don't think I'd wanna see him as a midnight mission regular, but 8 ball and mk team ups are always delightful (for me. They are usually deeply harrowing for 8 ball)

Aaaaaand that's about it! Except for there is something I need to say about black spectre and who he is but I think it deserves its own post.

Overall really loved this issue a lot. I was initially super annoyed about Laylas death but it does make sense, and it's not like we aren't about to get more Layla content. And I adored seeing her as a mercenary and the subtle nod to her connections based on how she's shown in the Disney Plus show. It's nice they're including those parts of her character, and again I would read the shit out of a solo series of her doing her merc thing and later scarlet scarab thing, depending on the status quo that City of the Dead sets up. Either way, very excited! But if Layla isn't more of a central character throughout City of the Dead I am going to feel somewhat cheated. But maybe we did all get our hopes up a tad prematurely but I hope not!! I think she's a great opportunity to bring in more MCU fans to the comics, and she honestly has so much potential to be a very complex character who can stand on her own.

And then of course it was great to see Frenchie, I would love to see those two reconcile at some point in the future but also if it doesn't happen that would make sense tbh. The crew mk has now is wonderful and a well overdue revamp that meets the character where he's at now and Frenchie just straight up doesn't fit into the status quo at this point. Also let the man rest lol

Be ready for a panel by panel analysis of moon knight #25 okay. Don't worry I'll put it in one post so I'm not a complete fucking nuisance

[miss-kittys-magical-library]

Tupelo Honey

Word count- 2200

Warnings- language, a hint of spice, grifting and scams, mention of drug use and alcohol, some spoilers for the movie "Moonwalkers"

A/N- Leon and Honey find themselves really good at con artistry. A government agent from Honey's past catches up to them all just as a grift lands Leon in over his head.

Chapter 5- Bad Moon Rising

July, 1969

Honey could hardly believe half the shit that poured out of Jonny’s mouth. His face matched his hair each time she called him a silver tongue devil. The promises he made Glen and his awful The Who knock-off band. Gigs all over London that happened to fall through at the last minute. A recording session in a studio run by Sir George Martin. Except he was King of The Automats, and not The Beatles.

Yet he was often flush with cash that turned into posh suits and dolls and nose candy. There were late night phone calls promising someone on the other end the band was on “the verge!” Honey and Leon had shacked up for nearly two years, she had a stomach that protruded with child to show for it, and this rock group had never leapt into wherever this verge may be.

There wasn't room these days for the 3.5 of them in the sparse flat above the pub. Toula and Nick had tossed them from the place above their restaurant months ago. They warned Leon that his mate would land him in trouble, so it was best he found out on his own without being attached to them. So Leon and Honey worked honest jobs like the punters near King’s Cross.

Sometimes Honey spun tales about a violent husband who gave her that black eye and the one on the way and now she had nowhere to go. She just needed a bit of dosh to get out of London proper. It often worked, with Honey dipping a little extra as she hugged them and cried.

Other times, Leon would rage after her and make a scene on the street. Most times he talked his way outta being punched. Sometimes he took a hit and twenty quid. The best was Honey’s false labor and pained sobs.

This one posh couple only had diamond earrings and platinum watch they offered Leon in exchange for them taking his wife. His eyes nearly bugged out of his head. Hours later when Honey had slipped away (after an amazing dinner she was certain Sugar Baby appreciated too), she came home to her fiancé kissing a stack of cash. Honey stashed it away behind a Janis Joplin poster, and Leon fucked her proper doggy style. Both impervious to the baby inside of her.

This was their favorite con

----

Honey had gone on holiday with Leon’s parents in her eighth month of pregnancy. He had kissed her goodbye and made her, quite literally, pinky swear to call as soon as they got to Brighton. He wanted to join but had rehearsals for a new musical coming over over the next few weeks.

“You absolute cunt!” Honey cried into the phone after she had walked (waddled really) with Nick and Toula down to the beach. There, around a table by the sea were Honey’s own parents and sister Julia. It had been almost three years.

“Whot?” Leon panicked, but a hit off his fresh joint calmed him. He scratched at the hair he wasn't used to now “growing” from his face. Figured he would have a bit of a stag while she was gone.

“I said you absolute cunt! I love you.”

“Oh, right. Yeah. You love it?”

“Are you kidding me? Leon, it's my family. Of course I love it. Ok, I'll pop round the hotel shop and call again before we leave. Are you alright?”

“Peachy!”

“Are you stoned?”

“A bit. Having some stress while you're gone. I'll be copesetic when you get back, I promise.” His girlfriend, against her better judgment, took Leon at his word.

----

Honey came home a few days later. She was unpacking when Leon stumbled into the room all pinks and green vest. Her leopard coat tossed haphazardly on the dirty floor.

Was this place that big of a mess when she left? There's no way she had been living in a disaster during the last stages of her pregnancy. She was also curious about the strange child-like drawing of Jonny on the wall in the living.. space. How it was weirdly threatening in its innocence; though she assumed that was the idea.

"Hey there midnight cowboy," she giggled as Leon swayed a bit while emptying his pockets of cash and his zippo.

"Whot?" he turned towards Honey, eyes half shut.

To her shock, a beard covered his cheeks and chin as well as the fullest mustache she had ever seen on him. "What the fuck is on your face?!" she grimaced a bit.

"Whot?" he slurred for the second time since walking through the bedroom door. His arms snaked around Honey and invaded her space by bending her awkwardly backwards and showering kisses on her neck and chin.

"Leon! Stop! I can't bend this way right now. The beard and mustache," Honey pushed him off of her but twisted her fingers through the green vest he wore over a pink dress shirt she had never seen before. "You look like Tevye in Fiddler on The Roof. Are we Russian Jews now?"

"Is Kubrick a Russian Jew?" Leon wavered a bit on his feet while his fiancee absently stroked her hands over his chest. "You like? Jonny said I looked like a bit of a poofter, but I said 'Nah. Pink is masculine on the right setting. You think my body's the right setting, innit?" His eyes were half closed.

"Did you say Stanley Kubrick? The foot fetish pedophile? He's a Polish Jew. Why? You're not in Lolita on the West End are you?"

"Nahhhh. Kiss me, I missed you. And you poppet," Leon rubbed Honey's stomach a bit too enthusiastically as he planted a sloppy whiskey kiss on her mouth. He hunched down to nuzzle his cheek into it. "You like Papa's beard, right? If Mummy is good she might like it better on her inner thighs."

Honey grimaced while briefly lacing her fingers in his curls. She held him to her pregnant belly before turning away.

He slapped her on the ass as she did. "Pressie in our little hidey hole for you, Gracie. Nicked a few thousand pounds in case." He lit a joint without thought, took a hit and proffered it to Honey. She flicked it out the open window. "CIA punter," he lowered and exaggerated his voice sat down on the bed. "Go on look. After this I'm giving my loves a proper life. No grifts," Leon flailed his arms outstretched and back. "No uncertain acting gigs." repeated gesture. "I'm going to the bloody moon and back for my girls."

Honey turned her back to him and opened their hiding spot. Inside were stacks of cash she had never seen before. She grabbed handfuls of it and faced Leon who had somehow staggered out of his clothing, completely nude.

“Leon!” Honey giggled. She held the cash to her chest and changed the tone of her voice. “Leon,” she sang to herself mostly out of disbelief.

He flopped on the bed propped on his side, “Go on give under the bed a look. Then take off your dress and let's have sex.”

Honey rolled her eyes and took the money out of the spot and stuffed it in their overnight bags. “You're in no state to wank let alone shag. We're taking this tomorrow and leaving. It's too much we can't stay here. Not with Jonny.”

She labored to get down on her knees bedside, and reached for the silver briefcase hiding there. She set it on the bed and easily popped the latch and the air rushed out of her lungs. “Leon, who did you steal this from?”

“No. He gave it to us. A real nutter too. He was in Vietnam a few years, he told me. It says it all in those documents Jonny told me to fuck off reading, but I did. CIA fellow trying to con us into thinking he was an American film producer. Kid something.” Leon scratched his head and sneered in thought, his mouth hung open.

Honey held up a business card as she tried to scramble to her feet, “Tom Kidman?”

Leon sat up to seize his fiancee by the waist. He undid the string that barely held the bodice of Honey's dress together. A satisfied grin spread across his lips when he caught sight of her naked, swollen breasts. He didn't care if it was because of the baby. He happily buried his face in her cleavage.

“I don't wanna talk about it anymore, love.”

His voice was muffled by her skin. Leon lifted her dress up over her body; she let him take it completely off followed by her panties. His large hands covered her ass as he massaged it while his bearded face rubbed all over her collarbone and neck. He left kisses in its wake.

Honey wrapped her arms around Leon's shoulders and sighed. She let the new sensation wash over her, forgetting briefly what was even going on. “We can't stay in London, Leon.” A moan escaped her lips as he captured one of her nipples in his mouth.

“Tomorrow, Honey. Please let's have sex?” He looked up at her with large, green puppy dog eyes.

“No.”

“Give us a tug then?” He gestured towards his swollen cock.

“No! Go to bed! You're like a horny teenager, and it's weird.”

“Is not! Look at you, fucking gorgeous like that.” Leon leaned back on the bed to gawk at Honey. Her cheeks flared red, and she covered her stomach protectively. “Right stunner my girl is, carrying our baby.”

Honey softened while Leon got properly in bed and patted the space beside him. She laid down to settle into his arms and thought about that sentiment. Our baby. Leon never called her his, always ours. Even that, he would say, wasn't necessarily true.

His fingertips traced an invisible line over Honey’s shoulder and arm draped across his chest. “I guess.. Selina doesn’t belong to us, does she? We just sort of mind her and help her along.”

“Leon, I really fucking love you.”

“Blimey, I would hope so after all this time!” he teased her. “I really fucking love you too. Let’s see if she still loves us after next week.”

“What does THAT mean?”

“Just a vision of chaos is all. You know, like how I get sometimes.”

Leon was right. Sometimes he did seem intuitive about what was coming, as if he had a way of pulling it from the future and making it his own in the present.

Honey thought about this as she drifted off to sleep. A thought that turned into a tiny annoyance in her chest when she saw the business card in the briefcase. An annoyance that only grew as she and Leon went to the last appointment with the obstetrician. An annoyance that fanned the flame of anger when they got home and Jonny rambled through her cooking about the Iron Monger coming ‘round for his debt. It was an anger that sang her to sleep for a mid-morning nap. And it was anger that turned to panic and fear when Leon and Johnny burst through the bedroom door in a whirlwind of arms and legs and red hair and packing.

“Are you two schmucks insane?! What the fuck is happening?! I can’t move this fast!” Honey thanked her stars she had stashed away the cash in Leon’s overnight bag. She thanked Artemis she had the intelligence to already pack a suitcase for when the baby came as she hastily pulled a dress over her head.

“I told you something was coming.” Leon stumbled around putting his boots on and several other layers of clothes remembering his vest from Honey first. “You said he was a stupid American TWAT!” he yelled at Johnny while he and Honey rushed through the bedroom door.

They comically came to a halt. Honey slammed into Leon’s back and swore softly under her breath. It was drowned out by Leon’s “Oh fuck!” as he pulled her close to his side protectively. Honey was in full view of the man in their miniscule kitchen. He was livid, visibly trembling with anger in the same way Leon did.

“Nice to see you again, Mr. Kubrick.” The disgruntled lion of a man noticed Honey for the first time in her crocheted mini dress and bare feet. A grin like no other crept along his face, and she could tell he was struggling just to do it.

Honey crossed her arms to try and hide her heart, surely beating wildly right out of her chest. Her countenance was purely vexed. “We didn't have bacon on the menu for today. Lovely of you to abandon the G-Men for a gig that allows you to frame and murder innocent women legally though.”

Leon and Johnny stared at her, mouths hanging open in shock. Then back at the CIA agent. “Missed you too, Dollface. Sorry about Lenny, I really liked the bastard.”

“Well you know, heroin and cunt FBI agents with a black list and a hard on for some upper crust bitch with a vendetta against you know, immigrants and Jews.”

“Come on, that's no way to treat Uncle Tom! Give me a kiss and I'll forget about it.”

“You will?” Johnny stammered.

“No you dumb sonofabitch, she’s outta my jurisdiction. It’s you two fucking morons I'm gonna kill.”

Tag: @neuroticpuppy @forenschik @elliethesuperfruitlover @super-unpredictable98 @nightmonsters @frogs--are--bitches @magic-multicolored-miracle @maerenee930 @bisexualnathanyoung @ghouls-buddy @rob-private @firstpersonnarrator @vonkimmeren @messengeronthemoon @a-ghoulish-tale @inspiremeandsetmefree

[ilovefandoms102]

Where Loyalties Lie-Prequel

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Potter!Reader

Summary: A forbidden romance is betrayed when the very dark wizard who is out to kill you is your lovers master...

Taglist:

@jeyramarie​​​​ @drewswannabegirl​​​ @teamnick​​​ @jiaraendgame​​​ @agirlwholovescoffee​​​​ @outerbongs​​​ @jaxxandcomet​​​ @velyssaraptor​​​ @baby-pogue​​​ @they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon​​​ @must-be-a-weasley-92​​​ @kaitieskidmore1​​​ @ma10427​​​ @ifilwtmfc​​​ @lasnaro​​​ @justcallmesams​​​ @judayyyw​​​ @lonely-kermit​​​ @gviosca​​​ @iamaunicorn4704​​​ @jellyfishbeansontoast​​​ @fernweh-fangirl​​​ @runway-to-my-aid​​​ @eb15​​​ @hurricane-abigail​​​ @tangledinsparkles​​​ @amanda-rotigliano​​​ @hxfflxpxffs​​​ @bannerbubble​​​ @hybridfamily​​​ @coldlilheart​​​  @fandom-phaser​​​ @sunwardss​​​ @http-cherries​​​ @bibliophilewednesday​​​ @evaporatedrosepetals​​​ @thetomatosaucee​​​ @tomatosauceagent​​​ @redosmo​​​ @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch​​​ @susceptible-but-siriusexual​​​ @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless​​​ @obx-direction-sos​​​ @they-reblog-once-in-a-blue-moon​​​ @iraniq​​​ @nekee-lilac02​​​ @gracielou0518​​​​ @aplaintart​​​​ @wollymalfoy​​ @thefandomplace​​ @poguestyleskye​​ @butterflydior​​​ @babebenhardy​​ @ohdangitsjay​​ @leasly​​ @sambucky8​​ @harryswigss​

Note: This is a prequel to Where Loyalties Lie, I thought this would be a nice touch to show how Draco and Y/n first got together.

Let me know if you guys would like me to continue this series!

=================================

The Triwizard Tournament was taking place at Hogwarts this year...

No one is sure how Harry’s name made it into the Goblet of Fire, most people still think he got an older student to do it for him. I had a bad feeling that someone was out to specifically target Harry, I mean, people die in these kind of things.

I was also worried for Cedric, I may or may not have developed a small crush on the Hufflepuff that we got to join and the World Quidditch Match earlier this year. He had been walking me to my classes lately, but I could feel the stare of him burning into my skull.

Draco...

It’s hard to explain what Draco and I have, but it wasn’t anything like what I felt for Cedric. It was more than that, but I couldn’t let it go any further than the longing stares and passive aggressive banter in class. Not to mention he was my brother’s biggest enemy, and I could never betray my brother like that. 

“You look deep in thought there Potter,” the devil himself spoke.

“Don’t you have some first years to torment Malfoy?” I mumbled, rolling my eyes as I leaned on the railing of the bridge separating two sides of the castle. 

“I’d rather see your pretty face.” he flirted, my cheeks tinting to a rose color. The thing with Draco is that when we were alone, he was actually nice to me. 

“Charming,” I scoffed, my eyes darting around to make sure no one spotted us together. The last thing I need is for someone to run off to Harry, Ron, or Hermione and tell them they spotted me with Draco.

“So what’s with you and Diggory? Fancy him do you?” Draco asked, leaning closer than usual.

“Why? Are you jealous?” I taunted, turning to arch my brow at him.

“Oh please, we both know when it comes down to it, you’ll choose me.” Draco chuckled, moving a strand of hair from my face.

“Don’t be so sure Malfoy, Cedric and I are going to the ball together.” I hissed, knocking his hand away.

Draco’s face dropped, his expression taking on one of hurt. My heart clenched in my chest, wanting to eat the words I just spoke. I spun on my heel and walked as fast as I could back to the common room, unable to bare the sadness in Draco’s eyes any longer. 

=====================================

I hadn’t spoken to Draco in weeks, and I hate to say how my heart longed to hear his laugh, our playful banter, and his relentless flirting when it was just us. I could barely concentrate on trying to help Harry, my thoughts always drifting to the platinum haired boy.

It was the night of the Yule Ball, but honestly, I didn’t even want to go anymore. I had become super distant with Cedric, which I felt awful about. My dress wasn’t anything special, my mood deteriorated so much I just bought the first dress I tried on.

“You look pretty,” Harry complimented, smiling as I walked down the stairs to the common room.

“Thanks, you look quite dashing yourself.” I complimented, trying to force a smile.

“Are you ok? You haven’t seemed yourself lately.” Harry asked concernedly. 

“Yeah I just...never mind, let’s just get this over with.” I huffed, stomping down to the ball room.

======================================

I couldn’t stop staring at Draco, he looked so handsome. Jealously struck through me when Pansy fucking Parkinson was draped over him, my fists balled up as I gritted my teeth together. I snapped out of it once I saw Cedric, his lips coming to my cheek. We lined up with the other champions, my nerves rising as we walked out to the middle of the dance floor. I could feel Draco’s eyes burning where Cedric’s hand was placed on my waist, I smirked to myself a little that he was feeling as much of the green eyed monster as I was. 

Hogwarts was able to get Weird Sisters to preform at the ball this year, everyone went absolutely nuts when they came out on stage. I personally didn’t care for them, but danced to the song either way. I walked to my brother who was sitting with a sour look beside Ron, their eyes narrowing as I walked over.

“Having fun are you?” Ron questioned.

“Eh, I’d much rather be in bed.” I admitted, ruffling his red hair.

“You plan on making a move with Ced?” Harry asked, smirking as he raised his brows suggestively.

“Maybe, I don’t know.” I sighed, turning back to look where I left Cedric.

He was talking to one of his housemates, his eyes scrunching up as he laughed. Cedric was a kind soul, a beautiful creature on this Earth. Then I looked at Draco, my heart pulsating in my chest as we made eye contact. His beauty was something all of its own, something that drew me to him like an addictive drug. I looked away quickly, his burning gaze becoming too much for me to handle. 

Cedric came over to greet Harry and Ron, taking my hand to lead me back to the dance floor. A slow song was playing now, the gentle melody flowing through the room. Cedric pulled me close, my arms going around his neck. I laid my head on his chest, my thoughts whirring around in my head. I wanted this night to be over already....

====================================

After that night, Cedric and I had a long talk. We both shared we had feelings for other people and just didn’t know how to tell the other. I was so thankful we broke things off peacefully, still agreeing to be good friends. 

Tonight was the last task for the tournament, my anxiety was so high I had jut about chewed my fingers to bits. I was so scared for Harry, this nagging feeling in my chest that something bad was going to happen ate at me all day. I sat beside Hermione and Ron as my leg bounced, Ron turning to me every few minutes to tell me to knock it off.

“I can’t help it, bloody hell Ron.” I growled, standing to my feet when I saw Harry coming out with Moody.

The sound of the canon blew, Harry turned to look at me. I smiled weakly at him, giving him two thumbs up to tell him good luck. Moody motioned for me to follow him, I furrowed my brows as I found my way down the bleachers. The mad professor pulled me off to the side behind the bleachers, taking me near the maze.

“Professor, where are we going?” I questioned, my nerves spiking as we got closer to the maze.

“You’re going in Potter.” he griped, waving his wand at the greenery. 

“I’M WHAT?!” I squeaked, but didn’t get the chance to receive an answer from the Professor as he shoved me in the maze.

===================================

I was so lost, desperately weaving through the tall shrubs to find my brother. It had felt like hours when I finally spotted the dark head of hair, his red shirt sticking out in the darkness.

“Harry!” I screamed, sprinting towards him.

“Y/n, what are you doing in here?!” he asked, his eyes wide with worry.

“I don’t know, Moody pulled me to the side and pushed me in. I’m scared, I’ve had this bad feeling all night and-” I rambled, but a spell was soon fired our way.

Harry pulled me down, watching as Victor came towards us. I stared in horror at the glassiness of his eyes, concluding that he had been bewitched. Cedric came out of nowhere, fending him off. Harry jumped up to stop Cedric from doing a more cruel spell, I was still frozen in my spot.

Suddenly I was running, my hand tightly gripped in Harry’s. I didn’t even remember getting off the ground. The wind was picking up, debris flying all around us. The cup was in sight, my feet moving faster with Harry’s. Cedric fell to the ground, vines grasping his body. I screamed in terror, Harry stared at the cup.

“Reducto!” I shouted, whipping my wand from my pocket.

Harry and I helped Cedric up, walking back towards the cup. We all grabbed a hold of it, being whirred to a location that was definitely not Hogwarts. I looked at our surroundings, my eyes widening as I realized where we were.

The graveyard...

“Harry,” I gasped, whipping my head to see the same look on his face.

A searing pain came over me, knocking me to my knees. My scar burning along with Harry’s, Cedric trying to come to our aid. Wormtail appeared, carrying something in his arms. Cedric stepped in front of me, pointing his wand at my father’s old friend.

“Who are you?!” he asked, gripping his wand tighter.

“Cedric no! Please go!” I yelled, trying to reach out to his leg.

“Kill the spare,” the creature rasped, Wormtail following his orders.

“NO CEDRIC!” I wailed, watching as his cold, dead body hit the ground.

===============================

We made it back to the front of the maze, both Harry and I landing by Cedric’s body. I sobbed on top of him, grasping at his shirt. He didn’t deserve to die, he had so much life ahead of him. Harry held my shoulder as he too was crying, his head landing on top of mine. Someone tried to pull us away, but I screeched and batted at whoever’s hands grabbed at me. Harry was speaking, but his words were muffled as all I could think was Cedric’s last moments replaying in my head.

===================================

I sat at the bottom of the steps outside of the castle, still bruised and bloody. I needed some air after figuring out that Professor Moody had actually been captured and it was Barty Crouch Jr. that was impersonating him. I picked at the dirt caked under my nails, tears still rolling down my cheeks. I thought of my parents, and the angelic voice of my mother. They once again, saved us from Voldemort who was now fully restored and stronger than ever.

I heard footsteps from behind me, but didn’t bother to turn around. Someone sat down beside me, but as soon as their scent hit me, I knew who it was. My eyes peeked to see Draco, a sad look in his eyes. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling my head to his shoulder. We sat like this for a while, none of us speaking. I hesitantly wrapped my arms around his middle, moving my head to kiss his cheek. 

“I’m sorry darling,” he whispered, his arms squeezing me tighter. 

“I never liked him like you think I did Draco, there was always someone else.” I spoke, turning in his arms to face him.

He pulled back to stare into my eyes, bringing his thumb up to wipe away my tears. My breath caught in my throat, his fingers moved to gently caress my cheek. 

“We belong together Potter, it’s about time we admitted it to ourselves.” he sighed.

Draco cupped my cheek in his hand, bringing my face to his. Our lips connected, fireworks erupting behind my eyes. My heart took flight, both my hands coming to hold under his chiseled jaw line. We pulled away from each other, our chests heaving.

“What about my brother, and your parents?” I asked, my worries beginning to cloud my excitement.

“We’ll have to keep this a secret, find ways for us to meet. I’ll try my best to write you this summer, we’ll figure it out.” he soothed, gently running his finger through my knotted hair.

==================================

Harry and I didn’t hear from anyone the entire summer, the both of us angry that none of our friends had tried to reach out to us. I was especially disappointed with Draco, his claim to write me every day went straight to the trash. We also had a run in with a Dementor, having to save Dudley’s dumbass which got us expelled. 

Luckily, we were given a trial at the Ministry. Dumbledore came to our rescue, getting the charges dropped so that we could go back to Hogwarts. Harry and I had become more irritable lately, both of us confiding to each other that we had seen him, Voldemort. It was like he knew all my deepest fears, like he was inside my mind. 

“I’m surprised the Ministry let you out Potter, I suspect there’s a cell in Azkaban with your name on it.” a voice I knew all to well said as we exited the train.

Harry tried to charge at him, but I froze in my spot. He seemed taller, and more handsome than ever. My heart fluttered in my chest as all he did was glance at me. A frown over took my features as I recalled that no one could know, but I wondered if he still even wanted me. As Harry and the others stared at the carriages, I looked over my shoulder back at Draco. He was already looking at me, his eyes burning into my skin. He gave me a small smile before turning back to his friends.

I didn’t know what to make of that until I felt something form in my pocket. A crumbled piece of parchment was in my jacket pocket, I unfolded it to read: ‘meet me by the astronomy tower at midnight -D’.

===============================

I paced around the the bottom stairway to the astronomy tower, biting at my nails anxiously. I jumped when I heard my name, whipping around to see Draco leaning against the door frame. I didn’t really know what to do, we hadn’t seen or heard from each other since the night we kissed. 

“You look even more beautiful than the last time I saw you.” he complimented, his head tilting to the side as a smile graced his lips.

“You need to stop tormenting my brother Draco, we’re going through enough right now.” I murmured, taking a seat on the ground.

He took a seat next to me, taking one of my hands in his. He kissed the back of it, bringing his other hand to gently caress my face. I suppose it was the longing of his touch that caused me to melt under him, forgetting that I was supposed to be angry with him. Draco’s eyes flickered from my eyes to my lips, our heads unconsciously moving closer together.

“I missed you,” I whispered, leaning my forehead to his.

“I think I missed you more,” he challenged, his white teeth shining in the moonlight as he smiled.

Draco moved the last few inches separating us, sealing our lips. One hand went to his cheek while the other weaved through his platinum blonde locks, tugging slightly on his roots. He moaned into my mouth, a feeling I had never felt before traveled through my body. My skin heated underneath his touch despite the layers of clothing I wore, his hands going to my waist to pull me closer to him. 

His tongue traced my bottom lip, setting me on fire. I opened my mouth slightly, my tongue coming to play with his. I felt like I couldn’t get enough of him, the need to taste every inch of his mouth spiraled through all my thoughts and senses. Draco pulled me into his lap, my knees on either side of him. His hands traveled from my upper back all the way to my ass, squeezing it hard. I squeaked, slightly tensing up. 

As our kiss became more heated, one of his hands moved to grab a handful of my hair. I moaned loudly into his mouth, loving the mix of pain as he tugged on my roots. I had to pull away, the lack of oxygen making me dizzy.

“I’m sorry I didn’t write you like I promised, but that doesn’t mean my feelings have changed.” Draco spoke, his breathing still slightly labored.

“This isn’t going to be easy, if we want any alone time at all it will have to be the weekends. Are you sure you want to give that up?” I inquired, my fingers lightly tracing his jaw line.

“Anything to see your pretty face, and have you all to myself.” he smirked, causing me to let out a giggle as he placed little kisses down my neck.

===================================

After that night, we spent all our weekends huddled up in the room of requirement...

However, when Umbridge took over the school, we started to fight more. Draco became part of the Inquisitorial Squad, actively trying to find out where a bunch of students had been disappearing off to. To say I was angry with him was an understatement.

“I just don’t understand Draco! Why are you doing this?!” I exclaimed, my brows furrowed as I stared at my boyfriend.

“My parents are making me y/n I can’t help that! How do you think I feel knowing my girlfriend has been lying to me about where she goes off to?!” he shouted, his teeth gritting together as he got in my face.

“Don’t you dare turn this around on me!” I hissed, shoving his chest.

“You’re the one keeping secrets, not me.” he snapped, snatching a hold of my wrist.

“Because you’ll run off and tell Umbridge! Let go of me!” I seethed, struggling to pull my hand away.

I finally snatched my wrist away from him, stomping out of room. I ignored his calls for me, tears falling as I left him alone. 

=====================================

I stared in disappointment as Draco dragged more of my friends into Umbridge’s office, handing them off to the other Slytherin’s as he came to grip my shoulders. I glared at him, but he shot me an apologetic look. I wanted to believe he was sorry, that he didn’t want to hurt me, but what was I supposed to think now.

Umbridge had Draco drag me out of her office after my attempt to charge at her for slapping my brother. Draco threw me over his shoulder as I fought hard against him. He took me to a secluded hallway, my fists still beating on his back. His large hand reached up to smack my ass, I let out a high pitched squeal in response. Draco sat me to my feet roughly, his hard eyes gazing into mine.

“I’m sorry, I had to.” he whispered, gently caressing my face.

“No you didn’t Dray, stop making excuses.” I hissed, losing the energy to fight against him. 

His hand cupped my cheek, wiping my tears. He laid his forehead to mine, bringing his lips down to connect them. I couldn’t help but kiss him back, I had missed the feel of his lips on mine. 

It didn’t last long as some banging was heard from upstairs. 

“Go, get the others and get out of here.” he whispered, kissing my lips one more time before taking off.

That was the last I saw of him...

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Heroic Incompetence.”

Wrote this at the suggestion of an anonymous reader :) Hope you all like it and have a great day :)

He sat next to her on the bed, legs crossed and a book in his lap. Wearing only shorts and a T- shirt, he looked significantly smaller than he usually did, either in his uniform or in his trademark jacket and jeans. It also made him look significantly younger with his scruffy blond hair sticking up in all directions. And now that he had finally shaved and gotten some sleep, he was looking even better than he had when he found her.

Her perception probably wasn’t helped by the stack of graphic novels he had sitting beside his right knee, most of them star wars themed all of them sci-fi. He had taken the day off to sit with her since the drugs were still not cleared from her system, and krill had demanded that she rest.

She had only been a little surprised when he insisted that she take his bed, which he argued was much bigger and more comfortable than the crew quarters. Also he had a TV.

She was surprised he would be so brash about something like that, but she supposed after almost losing her he would be a little more lax on their secret. She sighed deeply half napping half awake as he flipped through his books. She had a sneaking suspicion that he also wanted to be close by her to monitor her mental state after what had happened. She didn’t blame him, though at this point it was all just seeming like some sort of horrible dream.

She felt disconnected, far away, and her only reminder that it had actually happened came from the silver vambrace on her am  covering the spot where her carapace would never grow again 

Eventually she cracked an eye and glanced down at him.

He was looking at her with a concerned expression.

She sighed, “I’m fine.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“I know what you were thinking.”

“Well stop trying to read my mind then.”

The two of them grew quiet, “So what did I miss while I was gone…. How did you find me, what happened?”

He sat up, puffing out his chest rather proudly, “Well I have you know I was a stoic badass the entire time. After I clawed my way out of the sand, I marched across the desert with single minded determination not an ounce of hopelessness or self pity ever entering my mind.”

***

One month prior

-

It was Hopeless!

He had never felt self pity this profound in his entire life! He had lost her1 He had been so close to finding her and he had gone and lost her! He was hopeless and pathetic. If he had only just held on for a little longer than maybe he would have been able to save her. His feet burned in the scorching desert sand and he staggered aimlessly from one side to the next burning up in the scorching heat. His was so tired, and his throat was so dry, like sand. He felt like choking, a few times he staggered to his knees and screamed at the yellow green sky in anger and frustration,but no one ever hard him.

He had to get her back, somehow he had to get her back.

The desert sand was awash with light blue, like the sky and it seemed to be the same in all directions he looked, every dune and hill just like the last, yet the implant in his arm told him he was heading in the right direction. How long had he chased her before he had fallen into the sand. He just wanted to lay down for a minute, lay down for a minute and scream, but he had to keep going.

He pushed himself up the nearest sand dune hoping beyond hope that he would see the city over the next rise.

That is when he heard it, just from behind him.

The roaring of shuttle engines.

He turned on the spot down to stare at the shuttles. He wanted to yell  and wave his arms, to run to them and beg them to help find Sunny, but NO, he couldn’t, he couldnt be like this.

Kicking himself internally for his weakness, he straightened up and forced himself to focus as the shuttles landed. He was going to find Sunny, he was going to find her and bring her back no matter the cost. There was nothing, not in this universe, not in heaven nor hell that could stop him.

Even if he had to fight angels and shake hands with the devil.

The shuttles landed, and he marched forward head down brows furrowed downward like thunderheads brushing past the marines and onto the shuttle. He was going to to find whoever had one this and they were going to pay.

***

Sunny snorted and raised a brow over one eye, “Oh really.”

“Damn straight.” He said, setting down his book and turning to look at her. He had a shallow cut across one cheek given to him during a fight in some not so distant past, but his smile was as bright as ever.

He leaned forward, crawling over on hands and knees to lay next to her resting his hands behind his head.

“So after your stoic badassery in the desert, what happened.”

He rolled onto his side to look at her, the corner of his mouth twitching up in a jaunty smile. “Well, I admit that I was a little bit down, obviously. I mean what does someone do without the best part of their life.” He waved a hand dismissively, “But I persevered. I kept my emotions in check sure not a tear would escape past me until I found you, and even then, only if I was too late.” he looked at herein that moment very seriously, “You know, because real men don’t cry.”

Sunny just smirked.

***

One month Prior

-

He couldn't stop crying. While he could suppress the racking sobs that threatened to tear him in half, nothing he tried could prevent the tears from rolling down his face on hot and heavy streams. Where was it all coming from! He was positive that by now his entire body should be nothing more than a mummified corpse with all of the tears he had shed, yet they just would not stop, likely draining down through his sinuses and reabsorbing back into his body for another go.

Still, the collar of his shirt was soaked, and his face was sticky with tears eyelashes crusted with salt.

His head pounded.

Ever since she had vanished, he just couldn’t keep his emotions in check. He admitted to himself that he often played fast and loose with his own feelings, but this was just ridiculous. Holding himself together for the crew was all he could do though beyond that he was a quivering mess, hiding on the bridge in the observation room, or in his own room where no one could see him.

Now he was standing on the observation deck, the tears rolling down his face and into the scruffy five o clock shadow just sprouting on his cheeks and chin.

Light filtered in from behind him, and in that light, he could detect the movement of shadows, two tall shadows and one very short shadow. He knew that the were watching him, and so kept his back straight and hands clasped behind his back so as to seem hard and contemplative.

Inside, he was forcing himself to calm, forbidding the tears to fall anymore and, hopefully, dry on his face before anyone could come and speak with him. He needed to remain calm and professional. He needed to convince the others that he was in charge, and that everything would be ok.

The moment they saw him believing otherwise was the moment that it would be true. As their commanding officer…. As their admiral, he was what stood between them and hopeless defeat at the hands of their own morale.”

***

She shifted a little in her place, and he helped to adjust the pillow behind her. He sat up against the headboard, and she made the executive decision, leaning her head down to rest on his lap. He wrapped an arm around her, resting his hand on her back, while the other was leaned up against the top of the headboard where a jar of moon rocks and mars dirt sat

He stroked his fingers over the side of her cheek and she hummed softly, “So You were an emotionless badass superhero out for revenge against those who had wronged you, and in the shadows you brooded and waited as you scoured the universe for me?”

He smirked, “PRretty much.”

She hummed again deep in her throat adjusting her head against the warmth of his body, “Right…. A righteous warrior of justice. And I assume during all of this you remained in tortuous silence of our secret, unable to tell anyone of your private pain for fear of what might happen if you let something slip.”

He was quiet for a moment, and she cracked an eye to look up at him.

His one eye was very wide, like a deer caught in the headlights.

She shut her eyes and hummed.

“Yes of course, I wallowed heroically in silence my emotions bottled up, locked like a vault inside my heart with the key tossed into the darkest abyss of the ocean where no one migh find it. I couldn’t tell anyone.”

***

One Month prior

-

He had to tell someone. He had to, it was just too much to keep a secret. It was just too much for someone not to know what he was feeling. Just one person, if he could just share with one person maybe he would feel better. 

Keeping himself…. Like this was just torture…. No one could expect…

He had to do it.

Standing behind him in the darkness, he could sense Ramirez’s eyes on him, watching him.

So he turned, his eyes clear but the words heavy as lead on his tongue. The other man stared at him, his expression hard to read in the darkness.

He felt as if he was slipping out of his body, seeing himself from the outsider rather than viewing the next words he spoke from the inside as he normally should, “I...Love her Ramirez… I don’t know what I’ll do without her.”

The words rolled from his tongue and spilled onto reality…. He had finally admitted it, finally admitted it to his best friend.

What would he do.

How would he react?

Staring at the man’s face, he was surprised to find that he didn't appear to be phased in the slightest. It was as if he had just told him that the earth turns, and some birds fly south for the winter. He acted as if it was the most natural predictable phenomena in the universe.

There was only a slight pressure as Ramirez squeezed his shoulder, “I know… I know.”

Adam stepped back in near surprise.

Ramirez almost rolled his eyes, “Adam you have all but SAID those words. I think everyone on the ship, or at least everyone from the original Harbinger knows by now. You guys aren’t exactly discreet about your feelings towards each other. This shouldn’t surprise you.

He sat there mouth opening and closing with surprise.

But he supposed the more he thought about it the more he had to admit Ramirez was right.

There were signs.

And he had always been bad at keeping secrets.

It made complete sense.

He dropped his head, “that obvious huh.”

“Does the moon orbit the earth?”

He took a seat dropping his head into his hands, “You must think I’m nuts.”

Ramirez sat next to him placing a hand on his shoulder, “Seriously, ‘me’ think ‘you’ crazy. Adam, c’mon, I have dated people way crazier than Sunny, and that’s a fact. No one can beat me when it comes to psycho exes.

When he didn’t respond, Ramirez placed a hand on his shoulder, “We are going to find her Adam. I promise. If anyone in this galaxy has the connections, or the know how to find her, it is you.”

He nodded.

He had to believe it, he just had to.

***

Sunny reached up wrapping her fingers through his, five to four, “A tragic hero indeed.”

He shrugged nonchalantly, “You know, that's me.”

“How did you eventually find me anyway, after all, it is a big universe, and even with all your resources, it couldn’t have been easy.”

He shook his head, “No, it wasn’t. For the first few weeks we had no leads at all, but it was actually your brother who came up with the final lead that led me to you. Turns out your big brother has connections that I didn’t know about, and they led us to a fence hiding out in some grimy hotel downtown in noctropolis.”

“Oh, and how did you manage to swing all that? You and my brother went in guns blazing did you?”

A smile twitched at the corner of his mouth. “We were a well oiled machine, a precision instrument of stealth and intimidation. No one has even been more synchronized than us. The operation could not have gone more smoothly.” 

***

About a week and a half earlier

-

They were a fucking wreck.

And this night was a wreck to go right along with it.

They were stuck in the seedy elevator of an even seedier hotel jammed up together against Kanan’s immense bulk as he was crunched against the ceiling above in the tiny elevator.

Adam grunted, his face pressed against the elevator’s interior mirror, the metal of the iron eye suit jammed into his back.

“Your fat ass broke the elevator.”

“I didn’t break it.” Kanan complained, “the Weight limit says 800 lbs.”

“They are Tesraki Kanan they LIED.”

“Well why didn’t you think of this before we got in the damn elevator. I’m not from somewhere where we have an elevator.”

Kanan shifted and he was squished further into the wall choking and gasping, “Just pry the damn door open you big lug.”

“I can’t reach.”

“Uh Fine, I’ll do it just let me….”

What followed was a very uncoordinated hustle of grumbling pushing flailing and grunting as the two maneuvered around each other in the most horrible game of twister that ever existed, with entirely to many arms, and pointy bits, until Adam was in the right position to jam the fingers of the iron-eye suit into the cracks and then pull.

The elevator groaned and the metal screeched in protest, but at some point the locking mechanism gave way and he was able to shove the elevator doors open. It was just then when Kanan could no longer hold his position and stumbled forward, knocking into Adam who, in turn burst from the elevator and flew headfirst into an unsuspecting Tesraki, who only had a moment to let off the first notes of a scream before being slammed into the wall and completely knocked out.

An explosion of towels fell to the floor around them as Adam sat up on his knees staring down at the Tesraki, completely knocked out, their tongue hanging out of their mouth.

“Shit.”

He patted the Tesraki on the cheek, “Uh wake up.” The Tesraki’s head fell to the side, tongue still lolling.

“Shit.” He said again as Kanan pried himself from the elevator nearly tripping over a towel and landing on top of the two of them for a second time. He did manage to avoid falling on them, but in his haste, to avoid doing just that, he tripped over Adam and went pitching into the floor sending up another wave of towels.

Adam glowered at him, “Are you serious right now.”

Kanan sat up rubbing his head.

“Help me fold these towels.” Adam snarled, awkwardly propping the unconscious Tesraki against the wall before grabbing a pile of fallen towels.

Kanan took one of the towels and stared at it, fiddling around for a moment.

Adam stared at him again, “You have four arms, Kanan, seriously.’

The Drev flipped him a rude gesture.

After a while they had one unconscious Tesraki, and a stack of poorly folded towels leaning heavily against the wall in an uneven pile.

Adam stood and brushed off his hands, staring down at the floppy Tesraki and their shoddy work.

“Er…. hm.” Then a grim smile split his face, “I have an idea.”

A few moments later the two of them waddled down the hall carrying stacks of towels, leaving the Tesraki to slowly slump to the floor skidding slowly down the wall with the soft brushing noise of fur.

“Are you sure this is going to work?” Kanan muttered from behind his stack of towels, “I wouldn’t believe it.”

‘It’ll be fine, I promise”, he said as he raised his hand to knock on the waiting door.

***

Sunny couldn’t stop from snorting. And he stared down at her with his brows furrowed as she began to laugh, “You jest, but its true.”

She continued to laugh, and eventually he joined in with her.”

“So how about the boarding party, how did that go.”

He shrugged, “it was pretty straightforward. We found where their ship was located, deployed the gravity grapples, and then had our AI hack their airlock to open it for us. When we got inside kanan and I did a quick sweep with the marines covering us from behind. Of course you know the rest.’

She smiled a bit, “I kind of like you when your angry. That part where you smashed the saw into his foot….well I have never found you so attractive.”

The two of them laughed again.

And he leaned further back against his pillows.

The room went quiet for a moment.

She looked up at him.

“That was all a lie wasn’t it.”

“Yep.”

“You crawled out of that sand hopeless and miserable didn’t you?”

“yeah , I have to admit that I wasn’t doing too good. Kind of hard not to be hopeless in the scorching desert heat. But I did mange to pull myself together when we got back on the shuttles.”

“You cried like a baby didn’t you.”

“You would think after like an entire day of on and off tears, at some point the body wouldn’t be able to produce any more water.” He shook his head, “But no, as it turns out it just squeezes out more water while simultaneously giving you the more horrible headache you can possibly imagine. Even Waffles got tired of it after some point, and she has the patience of a saint.”

Sunny couldn’t help but laugh. Of course the thought of Adam so upset was horrible but, but there was just something so funny about it all, about him, about the way he had bounced back from all of that.”

“Let me guess, Ramirez knows?”

Adam sighed, “yeah, he knows, but he told me that the entire ship pretty much knows and to stop deluding ourselves into thinking we are good at keeping secrets.”

Sunny turned her head to look at him, “And he is just fine with this?”

“This IS Ramirez we are talking about Sunny. I could be dating the tentacle monster and he wouldn't bat an eye, probably say something about how he’s seen weirder, or talk about some guy he dated that might as well have had tentacles.”

“How about that thing with you and my brother?”

Adam snorted, “it wasn’t funny at the time, but looking back on it, the sheer incompetence that the two of us managed to pull off and STILL rescue you is absolutely astounding.”

She continued to laugh, pulling him closer in the process.

He laughed with her, and she decided once and for all that that washer favorite sound. No matter what, It was a sound she would never get tired of, and spent a few moments basking in the glow.

After a moment, she paused and sat up to lean against him nuzzling the hair on his head lightly with her cheek, “Adam?

“Yes.”

“Not to make this too serious or anything, but I just… well I need you to know you aret incompetent.”

He looked up at her eyebrow slanted slightly up, seeming surprised.

“You aren’t incompitent, you’re a hero and a warrior, and you should remember that.”

A small smile flickered at the corner of his mouth, “Well how could I possibly disagree with you”

“You can’t.” She rested a hand on his, “Like you always say, It’s not stupid if it works.”

[aggresivelyfriendly]

Tis the Damn Season

Chapter 6- Last Christmas

Hi all! Sorry she took forever- I edited all by myself, so be gentle!

Plans change. Tickets do too, it seems. Harry's beautiful hope, his gift, it came in handy.

Not in the right way, the intended way. Not because she came to him, ran around the world or even an unfamiliar city with him. Those were dreamy ideas, when she wound up spending all of fall semester in Holmes Chapel. Those daydreams shaded the hospital walls and funeral home with sunny possibilities.

Her father had a heart attack and her mother a breakdown. It was too late, when her mother noticed he'd been out with the dog for too long and the dog was inside whining.

"I knew, in my gut. Day dawned wrong. And then never ended." She'd cried. Her mother had cried in her arms in a reversal Emma felt was way beyond her maturity level.

That hadnt been over the phone. Over the phone had only been muffled sobbing and her dad's name, "John."

Emma didn't call him John, but she could forgive her mother. It was up to her mother's good friend Di to share the news: Emma had always looked up to Di, she'd had some tragic marriage in her youth, and then decided god damned men weren't for her.

At the moment, Emma was of a similar mind.

Emma assumed she'd have a similar life to Di, had planned for it actually. Di had her own house, a thriving career as a solicitor and no children. A life like that, of her own, was Emma's dearest wish before she wished to be able to say yes to Harry.

Now she just wished her dad was still around.

There were so many plans to make, a funeral to finance and a mother to support, to put back together.

It's a wonder Emma wasn't an outright romantic, the way her parents had been, lifelong sweethearts. They still had moon eyes for each other until the very end, could be found holding hands on the couch often. Emma had come home unexpectedly early last year and found her mother sitting on the kitchen counter with her father between her legs making out like teenagers.

It was a lot to live up to.

Emma supposed it was why she kept all her heart eyes and love life in the closet and saved it all up to spend once a year. Just like an old lady's Christmas budget.

This year, she didn't think it would be happening. Harry must have had some rich person thing going on with the ticket, because the minute she decided that rather than ask her mom to buy her a ticket to get home, for the funeral, instead use the one she  had from Harry, he'd called. There was clear excitement in his voice, hot on the heels of her phone call to the airlines. It was August. He was set to embark soon, she'd just got back to Amsterdam. He must have thought she was gonna sneak in a cheeky visit.

"You're coming?"

"What?" She was so disoriented. Coming where? What was going on? Her brain was muffled with plans her feelings kept stumbling over at the knees like a trip wire.

"To see me? I got a notification you used the ticket?"

Her brain was muddled, like an egg in a hot pan, what? How did he do that? "No, Harry, umm I'm not coming. I don't even know where you are right now." She barely knew where she was.

"Whose fault is that?" There was a tiny edge to his voice that would cut her if she could even notice. "You could have answered my calls."

"Harry," she sighed, she had been avoiding him a bit. Mostly because she had an evergreen memory of his disappointed face when she told him going on tour was too much, that she simply didn't have the time. She was glad she couldn't see his face when she said the next bit. His voice was buoyant with hope, she was about to pop that balloon. "I need the ticket to go somewhere else." She couldn't bear to say it, was biting her lip hard not to think it, the liquid memory brimming anyway.

"Yeah, ok. Well, Happy Christmas I guess. See you in four months, maybe." The bitterness in his voice was like an old lemon and she didn't even have time to sweeten it with truth when his phone clicked off.

That made her resentful. How could this truth be sweet in any way? It got worse over time, the resentment just nestled among her other griefs.

Then he wouldn't answer her calls. She supposed that was giving her a taste of her own medicine and it was a quick wash down her throat with no water after the other jagged pill life had just forced down her throat.

And it didn't get better. Though, she had to scoff at herself for even having a square of heart for Harry to break leftover.

Break it did though, when she heard he had a new girlfriend, a blonde, a model, a French blonde model.

Of course.

Emma couldn't help but stalk her instagram. His was useless, ill used, so when she'd finished a day of running the house she'd been a child in while taking care of her grieving mother, she'd torture herself some more and watch stories where the beautiful blonde played in a pool, or made jokes, or showed the big mirror over her bed.

That one hurt most. She'd never seen Harry's bed, nor he hers. The little devil voice inside her head whisper shouted that he much preferred the one he was in now, with the mirror and the model to the tiny inn room they'd spent all their overnights in.

She didn't hear from him, and she never called to explain herself either. What would she say? My life fell apart and I needed your ticket, but it hurt to much to say it out loud and you were to much of an asshole to let me say it.

Harry wasn't an asshole, not really, he was hurt. Emma was stunned she had that power, though she had admitted to herself there was more between them than mistletoe kisses and holiday fucks.

She'd admitted it was more to her.

He acted like it was more to him, unless this was just a bruised ego. She didn't like to think that. Harry had every reason to have a giant head, figuratively to go with the oversized cranium he actually sported, but he'd never shown it. He was cocky at times, just enough to be sexy. All of that was a veneer over a sweet vulnerability that made everybody want to be around him, protect him, love him.

Did she love him?

No, she didn't think so, but given more time, the potential was there, like a rock at the top of a hill, all it would take was a push.

Which, time on tour with him would have been. If she could have went. Which she couldn't. She wanted to explain all of this to him as soon as she has the chance- which she would in 6 hours.

Her promises to herself were that she would not cry and that she would accept his new relationship. His real relationship. Emma would not try to touch him, or kiss him, or confess her almost love to him.

He was probably in love himself, from her internet stalks, she was halfway there, with both of them. Harry edged it out by being perfect in person. Camille, that was frenchies name, could only be half as perfect as Emma made her in her head.

"Do I wear the sweater?" She asked her reflection. She'd had to become her best friend the last six months. Emma might have called her mom her best friend, just based on time spent together, if their relationship was reciprocal, but at this turn of the road, she was supporting her mom as she grieved and got back to herself. Emma could see glimmers. She had hope.

She however wasn't sure she had hope for herself. Was she really contemplating wearing the sweater Harry gave her last Christmas to his mother's Christmas party? How pathetic was that? She was rolling her eyes at herself. He'd had a big year, and he bought lots of gifts, probably for his new girl, so her thinking he'd remember felt narcissistic.

Plus, it was her favorite, which mostly had nothing to do with the fact it was from Harry.

Emma really didn't want to go, but Gemma was expecting her. And she really needed to see her, have her support. They'd been texting, a lot. Gemma had heard about her dad and reached out. It was the only emotionally connection Emma really had, those texts, and she needed to see Gemma, honestly. Even if it meant seeing Harry.

She might have wanted to see Harry.

To explain, and maybe just to see him. Make sure he was happy, feel his warmth, steal him back.

No, that was unlikely. See if he was happy and wish him well.

She wore the sweater.

The house was cozy when she arrived, like it always was and it thawed her heart enough for it to ache a bit. For something new. Her heart ached a fair bit off and on, then went numb. It was the only way she'd survived lately. Emma knew she was putting off really feeling her major loss.

It was a strange pleasure to mourn something as minor as heartbreak.

The hug from Gemma made the trip through the snow and down memory lane worth it. And the people all around her and their laughter were invigorating.

The alcohol helped as well. Their house was pretty dry but had been especially when she started to notice her mom was unconsciously developing a bottle a day habit. When it wasn't there she didn't mention it though, so Emma didn't buy it, except for special occasions.

She was merry, and felt held. Her hand was in Gemma's. She'd stayed away from the back bathroom and the kitchen, even come in the front door.

Emma felt like she was getting away with it.

Harry wasn't there, with girlfriend in tow or not. So all her pontificating about checking on him was all for naught, and she was getting all the crosses. She certainly felt like today was a plus.

Until she heard a tone of elation issue from Anne's happy voice that only motherly joy could produce.

Harry was here.

"Fuck!" Came out of her mouth, and Gemma looked at her sharply.

"What?"

"Nothing, guess I'm jumpy, your mum's shout made me spill." Emma thought she shouted an excuse me while she hurried up the stairs to hide, find a place farthest away from Harry and his happiness. He might be alone, but if he was glowing like a brand, the way he did when they holed up together only slightly dimmed by their parting, now because of it, from some other lover, Emma couldn't stand it.

Plus, she thought she'd heard another name connected to his over her own rated r exclamation.

She was coming out of the bathroom. Emma had suppressed her tears ruthlessly and her bottom lip might bruise from the brutal teeth marks she employed. She'd have given herself some words in the mirror, affirmations helped, but what was she gonna say. "You're happy for him."

She wasn't. She was happy with him.

"Fuck this." Emma decided the only course of action was a straight line to her parents house. her mother's house, she mentally corrected and gave herself a more legitimate reason to cry than over a boy. Even if that boy was Harry Styles.

Who she barely stopped herself from running into as she kept her head down and rounded the bannister to head down the stairs.

"Jesus! You gave me a fright!" She dramatized and kept a hand over her heart and her tear stained face down.

"Emma." His voice was flat, and not cold, but the warmth that snuggled around her name was absent and she shivered. "I wondered if you'd be here." Not Hoped, she noted. "What are you doing up here? Don't your usually use the back bathroom?" There was just a bit of heat in that statement, but it didn't warm, it burned. Was he being mean, that wasn't like him? "Nice sweater." Ok, definitely mean.

Her face came up with that thought, it shocked her out of the sense of control she was exercising.

He did look hard, mean, for a moment, but soft around the edges like a melting popsicle when he caught her face.

"Are you crying?" His hand came up and he stopped it mid air before it wiped away her tear.

Emma felt her body lean into him and another tear slipped out when his warm palm and always chilly finger tips touched her cheek.

God she'd missed him! While she was bolstering her mother, she'd needed support. He was supportive, or would have been. But he wasn't taking her calls, and she couldn't bring herself to text, "my dad died". Then, it was such old news, she figured he'd have heard from Gemma.

He took his hand away like she was a hot cooktop.

He pushed his hair back off his forehead with the hand probably damp with her tears and bravely changed the subject. "How long you in town for this time? Jetting off to some climate refuge hotspot soon?"

Emma flinched. Oh- he didn't know.

"Un, no, I'm living here." She didn't elaborate, maybe saying it out loud was as hard as texting it. "I was actually just about to head home to check on my mum. The back bathroom was in use, and the cold makes me need to pee." What the fuck was she talking about, he didn't need that information.

His dimple pressed in just a bit and he went to say something, but Emma just couldn't. She couldn't look at him anymore, or tell him about why she lived there, or about the ticket he seemed to have been hurt enough to move on over. She definitely didn't want to see evidence of his movement, especially not his upgrade. "Anyway, nice to see you," the words shot out of her mouth, impresonal and true. "Bye Harry."

"Wait Emma!" She thought she heard, but she just kept going. She'd tell Gemma she was sick.

She nearly was when she saw Harry's girlfriend hugging her closest friend in the living room.

"Oh god."

Luckily, when she got home, her mum was awake and feeling chatty, not blue. Emma focused on her and the special she was watching. Let the warm sound of her mother's once common laughter wrap around her as a blanket. It was more comforting than a cup of tea.

She waited until later to cry herself to sleep.

The next day was Christmas- the first without her father. She dried her rightful tears before she saw her mom, though she would have had all the standing in the world for them and she felt better about them than those she's shed the night before. She knew though that her wet face would cause a cascade event, the first drop in a waterfall, so she dried them up.

They had traditions to get through.

And get through they did. They each wrapped a gift for her father that they left under the tree and held each other right before tucking into a late brunch and preparing a boozy and sweet laden Christmas dinner, Emma contributed the puddings.

They were very much her mother's favorite, and she broke out a scandi recipe she'd enjoyed the last several years.

She Skyped her university friends, they exchanged the small gifts she'd mailed them and them her. She missed them something awful. She missed school horribly, so much she even emailed her advisor. All of her heart hoped to return after the winter break.

Emma thought the feeling of missing something was a bit like a paper cut and losing your keys combined.

Harry called late Christmas Day, just a few minutes shy of Boxing Day. That more than stung, it was a gut punch, or a knife plunge, though she'd never had either.

Emma ignored the call from Harry. What was there to say?

Boxing Day, well, Emma wasn't much of a drinker, but it was basically a tenet of British culture to get obliterated while watching the queen.

For the last several years, Emma had been off her face on Harry. This year she chose savingnon blanc with her mum. Two days, then they'd go back to a dry house. Tradition was tradition, and she couldn't think about the one she'd started and ached all over for.

What a pale imitation of ecstasy drunkenness was, though she supposed they both left a hangover, a residue.

Her bed, when she begged off to it early was warm and fragrant, but it smelled all wrong. No sandalwood or black coffee, not even the mint she'd come to associated with the comfort of love, or something like it.

It was worse, because when she closed her eyes, having seen Harry's someone in person, she could see him snugged up to her, so cozy. It was in their place, their room at the Boat's Head.

It was over, Boxing Day, when she puked.

She had another missed call from Harry. 11:59 Her personal witching hour.

The next day was a little bit better, either because she had her literal hangover to tend, or because she'd ripped the bandaid off her hurt and let the wound air.

"Hiya!" Gemma's voice and face were bright, unlike the gray day.

"Hello." Emma smiled and her voice held it, she held onto it. "You're merry!"

"Yeah, I'm at the pub. Everybody is at the pub," she flashed the phone around so Emma could see the waving swaying people, "we wanted to get you outta the house, you made such an effective Irish exit the other day you've let your people down, we need to see your smile. You feeling better?"

"Yes, thank you." Emma thought about it, there was a pull to the pub. "Um, maybe I can swing over."

It only took a few minutes to throw on jeans and a jumper, not her former favorite. The walk was a little longer.

When she found them, her first comment was "Im not drinking!" Over a grimace.

"Too much wine with old Elizabeth, huh? " Gemma Laughed

"Yes! Did you know my mum has a long pour?" Emma shared with a laugh.

"No, but mine's gotten more heavy on the booze with me lately, they must like the new stages. Daughters as actual friends and drinking partners. Mum is thrilled!" Gemma grinned.  "So am I! Harry's a little jealous."

Emma tried to catch her grimace before it stomped across her face. Gemma kept talking and she thought she'd got away with it.

"He wants to be one of the girl's! He came down last night and mum, Camille and I were sharing wine and mum was showing her atrocious pictures. You'd think he'd be mad or embarrassed! He was like, 'Where's my glass?'" Gemma was staring at her while she chuckled.

Emma had less success not responding. Her face was a picture she was sure, a jealous one. And then she heard herself asking, "what's she like?" She gulped down the g word she almost voiced. "Camille?"

Gemma made a funny face, then looked at her again. "Um, she's silly and kinda quiet and I think she's worried my mom will care she's posed nude."

She wouldn't. That wasn't Anne's style. And if she did have an issue, she'd never voice it. She was really big on respecting her kids choices. Even some of the stupider ones Harry had made.

Was she ranked among those now?

"Why do you ask?" The gentleness in a Gemma's voice told Emma she knew more than she was saying.

Emma couldn't explain, she was still in such a tender state, like a fissured piece of glass, she knew she couldn't go over it. "I just hope Harry's happy."  It was the only true thing she could say.

And Gemma, bless her just looped her arm through Emma's and said like she was holding a cracked egg. "He is." She left it at that, before she stood, pulling Emma after her. "And we need another drink." Apparently Emma was drinking, she needed it.

They spent another couple hours at the pub and Emma walked home through the soft snow. Her nose was stuffy, and her eyes were leaking, and she was drunk. Least she realized she must be, cuz she was crying. She really hated crying.

She was still weeping under her breath when she got home and found Harry on her doorstoop.

"You're still here?" She boggled. She assumed he'd taken his girlfriend to his big London home Emma had never been to, since she wasn't ever his g word.

"Yeah." He rubbed his hands over his corduroy flares. She'd consider what that might mean, but the pants distracted her. Those were new, must be getting fashion influences from new places, mew people. Those pants were roomy for him. He looked good in them. He looked good, happy.

"Did you need something?" Seeing himwas ripping her guts out and she could barely keep more tears at bay. Her insides were dangerously close to the skin now, tender and exposed. She hoped the distance between them and the weather and, well, maybe his rose colored glasses brought on by loving some other girl, he wouldn't notice her crying.

Over him. At the moment.

"No, I, um," he swallowed. "I thought we might talk." He made those green eyes at her and she hated it. Cuz they were soft and for someone else these days.

"I think we've said it all."

"We haven't said anything, not really, in a year."

"Yeah, well actions over words mate." Good, she was angry. She tried to go around him, into her door. Out of the cold and this situation.

"Emma, wait." He caught her shoulders and her blood froze in her veins but her tears were hot on her cheeks. "I'mso sorry about your dad." He choked up too.

She looked at him and let hurt run down her face, didn't even bother trying to stiffen her upper lip. When he opened his arms, she went to him and cried in a way she really hadn't let herself, into the comfort of his scent, the hurt of his presence.

Emma wasn't sure how long she cried, they wound up siting on the cold stone bench when their knocking knees froze.

"S that why you used the ticket?" He whispered against her hair sometime later.

She nodded. Sniffed up her tears and his pain laced smell.

"Why didn't you call me?"

She shrugged.

"I would have understood. And I would have come, to be with you."

Her tears apparently hadn't run out. She knew that, but she was hurt, by his hurt and his expectation.

She looked up at him. Her lips were so close to his, the outer edge that felt so plush and lovely.

That was a Liberty she didn't have. Maybe never a right she had, like him just expecting her to drop her goals to go to him.

"Where's your girlfriend?" She said the word like the four letters it felt like it was to her.

"Um," he stumbled over the subject change . "She was tired."

"You tell her you were coming to see a girl you used to fuck?"

"What?" He looked at her with a frown and Emma supposed she was being mean, mean but honest. "Don't say it like that. That's not what we were about."

Emma quirked a brow at him. "No?"

"Listen, why are you being like this?" He swallowed and looked like the wronged party when he was the one who assumed the worst of her, then abandoned her, moved on, and showed up, she could only assume, to rub it in her face.

The last year had been the worst of her life, and he'd been part of that. Mostly his absence.

Whoever's fault that was.

"Look, I don't need your pity or your condolences. Or your forgiveness. You just assumed I was taking advantage of you like you didn't know me at all. Which I realized is true apart from knowing what I look like naked, right? Let's be honest Harry? Huh, I'm just the girl you used to fuck over break. Your Christmas bit of fun. Til you found your next model. Who you couldn't wait to come home and show off, right in my face. So if we were more, you're a heartless asshole." She was crying over him now, but half the tears at least were angry and her face must be bright red.

The kicked puppy look on his face was so genuine and felt so false to her she could scream. "Why would I even think you would care if I had a girlfriend or not? If anybody was just the person the other thought of as a holiday fling, it was you about me, Emma."  He huffed, took down the finger he'd stood up to point at her. "I tried for more, asked for more?"

"When?" He'd asked for more, how'd she miss that?

"What'd you think the ticket was for? That was me asking you for more, at least more time?"

"I don't have extra time." She countered. Emma supposed that was some mealy mouthed passive way of saying you wanted to spend time with a person at least.

"And I do?" He yelled that before taking a big breath and muttering sorry. "Listen, I know what you're about, and that you are very serious saving the world, but I'm just as busy as you, more, and I would have made time for you."

"Why?" She stood up into his space. "So I could just miss you more, fall more for you and not get to have you in any real way? To torture myself?" And there is was. Emma knew the ache of the first weeks without him, and she'd always counted their brief time together as worth it. Subjecting herself to more just seemed masochistic. "Have more time with you so I have to get over you all over again multiple times a year."

"Who says you would have had to get over me? We could have been together!" Both of their voices had escalated past the bounds of polite disagreement.

"Together in every way except literally?" She threw her hands out at her sides. "What's the point of that?"

"The point?" He huffed. "The point is that I wanted you and you wanted me, and we could have had each other, but you're too busy," he sneered, "and couldn't talk to me."

"I couldn't talk to anyone!" She screamed. "I was supposed to text you that my dad died and I needed to use the ticket that was supposed to be a gift but was more like a curse, to take care of my mom. That my dream was at best on hold while I made sure my mum could get out of bed?" He looked a little slapped. "While you were off what? Being a rockstar? Having a record breaking year? Moving on? Out of spite?!" She didn't want to think that, but she'd wondered. She knew she was giving herself to much credit. "Why you made sure to bring her to Holmes Chapel? You take her to the Boar's Head too? Or just fuck her in your mum's powder room?" The words were explosive, the cadence like charges lighting off each other. Emma felt like a powder keg.

He was shaking his head. "Stop it. No, no, I didn't move on, not until I thought you were done with me."

"Oh, when I needed you and you wouldn't answer my calls?"

He looked at the ground then. When his eyes came up , the lovely green of them was even more vibrant, due to the tears crowding around their ages. "Emma, I'm so sorry about that. I'll never forgive myself."

His sincerity softened her, though the anger she'd wrapped around herself like a coat was all that was keeping her ribs together.

"I'm so sorry, I know the last year has been more than anybody should have to bear, especially alone." He took  a big breath. "But Camille, I didn't, it's not," he stumbled over the words like they were glass edges, but Emma had a feeling she was the one who was about to get cut. "Um, she and I just met and, well, we, we get on." That was a kind way to put it. "I wasn't looking for somebody else. But I was lonely and she's," the changes on his face ripped through Emma. "She's lovely. I brought her home, because I wanted mum to meet her." That told Emma everything.

"You love her?" She already knew the answer.

He ran his hand through his locks, avoided eye contact until the last second, "yeah, yeah, I think I might."

Emma was nodding, biting her lip to gatekeep the fresh round of tears threatening. "That's good Harry, I'm," she breathed, "I'm happy for you."

He looked at her then. "Really?"

"Course, I care about you, your happiness." That brought on the tears and he reached for her and she had to throw up her hands to keep him away. "No, no, please don't touch me."

His phone rang, he was the only person she knew who actually kept their ringer on. Well the only person under 50, it made her smile. Then cringe, the weird personal knowledge she had because of how much of an almost they were. From his face, Emma knew it was his actual calling.

"Um," he shady buttoned the call. "I have to go."

"Yeah," was all she could respond with, she already knew that. "Well, have a happy nee year Harry. You sticking around?" God she hoped not. May have to convince her mum to go to London if so.

He shook his head, "Um no, we're going to Paris." Ouch. Emma tried for subtle when she wrapped an arm around herself. "Sorry, I'd like," he always looked so genuine lately, in every interview she'd watched to hurt herself, his heart on his sleeve, in his eyes now. "I'd like to hug you, think you could stomach it?"

Emma nodded and went to him for the barest second and then concentrated on the pressure behind her eyes while he kept her close. "I'm so sorry Emma, for everything. I'd really like to be friends," he'd pulled back to hold her eye line at that.

She nodded, she wasn't sure how she'd handle that, but at best it was a couple phone calls, and no weekends away, they hadn't mentioned that in their middle state, she didn't think it would be to hard to keep him at arms length when they had continents between them most times. "Yeah, ok, friends. You take care of yourself, Harry." Emma was a strong girl, woman now, she could handle some texts and a phone call or so.

He kissed her cheek, a continental affectation she closed her eyes over and turned to go. He was almost out of the gate when he turned back. "I'd never take her to the Boar's Head, by the way, that's our place. I'd never take anybody else there." Before she could even think of a response he looked away quick and started to go. "Take care of yourself, Emma. Happy New Year." That came back to her on the wind.

Blew away like the hold she had on the heart she'd given him last Christmas. At least he was someone special.

[dianapocalypse]

Alright y’all, with the release of Mass Effect: Legendary Edition, it’s time for me to share my playlist for the entire trilogy.

I’ve refined this over like six years so scientifically speaking it’s probably good right. oh also it’s four hours long. so if you have a road trip or a boring job, this one’s for you. disclaimer, it’s entirely possible I have garbage taste in music. I also missed some characters and moments because there’s 65 songs here and I am merely human.

If you don’t have the patience for four hours, I recommend starting at track 45 and listening to the end, as the Mass Effect 3 portion is the strongest in my opinion.

UNDER THE CUT FOR DESCRIPTIONS WE GO!

FIRST MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 1

1. Atlas - Coldplay Eden Prime

“Sometimes the wire Must tense for the note Caught in the fire, say oh We're about to explode“

I really like the atmosphere of this song. It’s ominous, but also somehow hopeful, and makes me feel like Something Huge Is Coming.

2. I Will Not Sing A Hateful Song - Constantines Paragon Shepard

“But I was also born and raised To always speak and listen clear To know the last sound that I make Could be the last sound that I hear“

OK, listen, I think this song is about vampires, and I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be a metaphor or not. But I think this is a great song about controlling one’s temper, about knowing that you have to Rise Above the parts of you that want to lash out sometimes to get things done and have peace. Seeing as how paragon Shepard, to me, always seems like they’re three deep breaths away from snapping, but manage to keep it in check, it fits them to a T.

And also maybe they’re a vampire.

3. Hard to Kill - Beth Crowley Renegade Shepard

“So I let the rumors Turn me into a legend 'Cause I'm only human But a good myth is hard to kill”

This one’s a recent addition, but holy cow, I love it for Renegade Shep, particularly an Earthborn or Ruthless, but it works for any of them.

4. We Own the Skies - Five Iron Frenzy Joker

“My hands are bleeding where they often crack The stars will sometimes burn with longing Through the choking black Of night shifts piling each against the next”

This really vibes with Joker’s backstory for me, his super driven serious self in flight school, contrasted with who he is when he can fly a ship. He’s the best pilot in the goddamn fleet and I love him.

5. I Just Wanna See - Smash Mouth Kaidan Alenko

“Mister moon checkin' on how y'all livin' The stars all winkin' at the day that's dimmin' I just wanna see”

This song fits into his reactions to first showing up at the Citadel and his former romanticism about living in space. Ironically, it’s a song about Earth, but I feel like it works well for him. Also, Smash Mouth absolutely sounds like the kind of music Kaidan would listen to, no I will not be taking questions or constructive criticism.

6. Don’t Give Up - Noisettes Ashley Williams

“She's got a talented face and a suitcase Ain't got no desire to go no place In her case she's got no desire with her hand in the flame say's she don't feel the fire “

The energy of this song is just perfect for Ashley’s no-nonsense chip on her shoulder attitude.

7. About As Helpful As You Can Be Without Being Any Help At All - Dan Mangan The Council

“I was thrown in the boat/Cast out to sea Friendly with waves/There were sharks below Hungry for me/So I dangled my leg”

I mean, the title says it all.

8. The Captain - Guster Anderson

“Courageous, just like the captain Marching forward with no doubt in his head”

I have adored this song ever since my friend played it for me, and it’s the ultimate mentor-protégé jam for me.

9. Secret Agent Man - Johnny Rivers Garrus Vakarian

“Here's a man who leads a life of danger To everyone he meets he stays a stranger Oh, with every move he makes another chance he takes The odds are he won't live to see tomorrow”

I have to poke a little fun at Garrus and how seriously he takes himself in Mass Effect 1. I romanced him across four playthrus, I’m allowed!

10. I’m Getting Too Old For This Shit - Kill Lincoln Urdnot Wrex

“This random apathy/I swear it's killing me But I guess it's all the same, till the devil knows my name”

I don’t know ANYTHING about this band, but this song fits Wrex’s disillusionment with the Krogan well, plus, like. The title. (And also, that he secretly DOES care what happens to the Krogan.)

11. Bird Song - Juniper Vale Tali’zorah nar Rayya

“I want to dance on the horizon line But there is something I am caged behind I have a heart made for take flight But I'm low, so low”

I adore this song and the sound of Juniper Vale in general. The etherealness of this one, combined with the youthful optimism, feels very Tali. The line about ‘something I am caged behind’ works well for the suits, too. This one’s especially good if you’re a Talimancer!

12. 11. Green Garden - Laura Mvula Liara T’Soni

“And I’ll fly on the wings of a butterfly High as a tree top and down again Putting my bag down, taking my shoes off Walk on the carpet of green velvet”

I really like this song’s vibes and I feel like Liara fits it well, particularly in ME1, before all her youthful optimism is stripped from her. The scenery descriptions feel very Thessia, too.

13. Feed Me (Git It) - Little Shop of Horrors The Thorian 

“The guy sure looks like plant food to me!”

Do you get it. Do you get my joke. It’s because the Thorian is a plant that eats people. (I’m not funny)

14. Blindness - Metric Matriarch Benezia

“I was a blind fool, never complained All the survivors singing in the rain “

I don’t love the use of blind here as a negative, albeit metaphorical, descriptor, but I think this song fits Benezia’s indoctrination and death well. If you have suggestions for another, though, let me know!

15. Technologic - Daft Punk Saren

“Buy it, use it, break it, fix it, trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it”

I just think it’s Neat

16. Watershed - Vienna Teng The Reapers

“ While you were building your empires I was still sleeping”

I think this is the song that inspired the entire playlist. Vienna Teng sat down and decided to write a song from the perspective of a natural disaster, and it’s so ominous and gut-wrenching.

17. Hourglass - The Hush Sound Virmire

“This is how it ends We believe every lie and say we'll be friends How long will it last? Before we scratch all the scripts and we rework the cast “

hahahahah rework the cast get it because you have to pick who DIES

Seriously tho I really like this song for Virmire and that moment of choice that feels like it lasts 100 years on some playthroughts.

18. Pompeii - Bastille The Siege of the Citadel

“ And the walls kept tumbling down In the city that we love”

Throwback to when this song was on the radio like three times an hour. Which is around the time I made the first draft of this playlist, incidentally! It’s such a good Final Battle Jam for the Citadel, and the part about “if you close your eyes/does it almost feel like nothing’s changed at all” I think work really well for Shepard in this sequence. Shepard knew the Reapers were coming, had been fighting them all along; this attack on the Citadel is just retreading familiar territory for them, as horrifying as the war being brought to their doorstep is for the Citadel’s citizens and the council. James Vega has some good dialogue about that kind of thing in ME3.

INTERLUDE THE FIRST

19. Starships - Nicki Minaj The Normandy Crew

Starships were meant to fly Hands up and touch the sky

I like to have a little fun OK

20. Gravity - Yoko Kanno The Death of Commander Shepard

“Am I alone? is somebody there beyond these heavy aching feet still the road keeps on telling me to go on”

Welcome to mood whiplash, it’s my specialty! This is the part where you die. I think it also works for her coma very well, when she’s just drifting between life and death, not sure what’s going on, but something keeps trying to pull her back to the world.

SECOND MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 2

21. The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy The Lazarus Project

“Hey young blood, doesn't it feel like our time is running out? I'm gonna change you like a remix Then I'll raise you like a phoenix “

this song has no right to go as hard as it does and if  you think it’s melodramatic shut up

22. My Body Is A Cage - Peter Gabriel Commander Shepard

“I'm living in an age Whose name I don't know Though the fear keeps me moving Still my heart beats so slow “

This works particularly well if you romanced The Virmire Survivor, but this song captures the energy of Shepard freaking out bc they are trapped with Cerberus, because Cerberus rebuilt their body from the ground up. That jarring, caged feeling is so palpable in ME2 that when they gave me back Joker the first time I played, I BURST INTO SOBS from relief.

23. The Lady is a Vamp - The Spice Girls Miranda Lawson

“That's all in the past, legends built to last But she's got something new”

Listen. She’s a bond babe. Handbags, heels and pistols rock. She’s got class. This is a song about Miranda. That is all.

24. Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down Jacob Taylor

“ I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon After all I knew, it had to be something to do with you “

This one’s about the Vibes for me. Also can apply to his past relationship with Miranda. I’m also super showing my age on this song, oof haha.

25. Stable Song - Death Cab For Cutie Colony Abduction

“Rows of deserted houses all Our stable mates highway bound “

I really like the mood of this one for showing up on the very first abducted colony, the eerieness and sadness of it all and Shepard’s resolve to do something about it.

26. Konichiwa Bitches - Robyn Kasumi Goto

“I'm so very hot that when I rob your mansion You ain't call the cops, you call the fire station”

THAT COUPLET ALONE MAKES THE ENTIRE SONG. I love how playful and cheeky it is.

27. Seven Nation Army Glitch Mob Remix - The White Stripes, Glitch Mob Zaeed Massani

“And I'm talking to myself at night Because I can't forget Back and forth through my mind Behind a cigarette”

Pretty sure we all had this on some playlist or another when it came out, and it’s the perfect Badass With A Grudge song.

28. Science is Real - They Might Be Giants Mordin Solus

“ And when a theory emerges Consistent with the facts The proof is with science The truth is with science “

This one actually got added by my wife to replace a song that wasn’t on Spotify, but that has the same energy; Hank Green’s “I Fucking Love Science”. I get more into the emotional side of Mordin in the ME3 section, but I also really just love his Hamster On Coffee energy and this song captures it really well.

29. Prove Yourself - Radiohead Garrus Vakarian

“I can't afford to breathe in this town Nowhere to sit without a gun in my hand Hooked back up to the cathode ray

I'm better off dead “

The absolute rock bottom mental state Garrus is in when you get back to him in ME2 is so heartwrenching. Might not always agree with my boy’s methods, but he’s one of my favorite fictional characters of all time.

30. Rat a Tat - Fallout Boy Feat. Courtney Love Jack

“We are professional ashes of roses, this kerosene's live You settled your score, this is where you come to beg”

It helps that Courtney Love sounds exactly like Jack to me, NGL.

31. Defeat You - Smash Mouth Grunt

“Hey I know what you've done It makes it that much better to defeat you “

Only I am brave enough to put two songs by Smash Mouth on the same playlist, to be shared in 2021

32. The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot - Brand New Horizon/The Virmire Survivor

“If it makes you less sad I will die by your hand Hope you find out what you want Already know what I am “

Hits harder if you romanced the Virmire Survivor. Mostly from Shep’s perspective. This is a Shep that feels Bad after that encounter rather than Mad, so Your Mileage May Vary.

33. Violet Stars Happy Hunting! - Janelle Monae Tali’zorah vas Neema

“I'm an alien from outer space I'm a cyber-girl without a face a heart or a mind”

I just like the vibes of this one for Tali! I know it’s more about an actual AI but...IDK. I like it. So there.

34. Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd Thane Krios

“There is no pain you are receding A distant ship smoke on the horizon”

This song works both on a Literal level with his Kepral’s syndrome struggles, but also Metaphorical re: his Battle Sleep. Plus, Thane is a dad, so he gets Dad Rock.

35. My Medea - Vienna Teng Samara

“For I have made her prison be Her every step away from me And this child I would destroy If you tried to set her free “

Mom of the year award, here

36. Toxic - Britney Spears Morinth

“There's no escape, I can't wait I need a hit, baby, give me it You're dangerous, I'm loving it”

If Morinth weren’t so under-utilized after recruitment and didn’t get killed off in the background of ME3 I’d probably actually recruit her sometimes. I almost did on my most recent playthru bc that Shepard just HATES SPACE COPS. Anyway the song explains itself

37. Turn me On - David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj EDI/The Collector Attack

“My body needs a hero Come and save me Something tells me you know how to save me”

I know this song is a metaphor but also it works really well both literally and metaphorically for Joker saving EDI

38. Robots - Dan Mangan Legion

“Robots need love too They want to be loved by you “

The Geth just want to live peacefullyyyyyy 

39. Be Still - The Killers Love Interest Theme

“Be still / someday you’ll leave fearlessness on your sleeve”

This song works so well for the night before Omega-4. If you had an ME2 love interest, anyway. Also “fearlessness on your sleeve” is one of my favorite set of words ever written.

40. No Cars Go - Arcade Fire The Omega-4 Relay

“We know a place no spaceships go We know a place where no subs go “

This one’s pretty literal.

41. Rocketman - Elton John Suicide Mission

“ And I think it's gonna be a long, long time 'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home “

I like sneaking some Classics onto my playlists, and I think this is how I generally approach Shepard’s mindset during the Suicide Mission, mostly the chorus. I’m also a sucker for ballads during action sequences. This one isn’t a perfect 1:1 but the Vibes check out.

42. Blast Off - David Guetta feat. Kaz James The Normandy Crew

“Got all my people with me And none of us give a fuck So put dem hands up higher Let's smash this party up”

You have to imagine they partied HARD after recovering from Suicide Mission, but before Shep got arrested, right??? This is the Starships for ME2.

INTERLUDE THE SECOND

43. I’m Not Your Hero - Tegan and Sara Liara T’soni

“ Feeling like I am now lighting up the hall I was used to standing in the shadow of a damaged heart Learning all I know now, losing all I did I never used to feel like I'd be standing so far ahead “

This feels like a good coming of age moment for Liara, as she copes with the choices she made in the 2 years of Shepard’s death (giving them to Cerberus), losing Feron, etc. This is her coming into her own as the Shadow Broker. She’s not meant to be an uncomplicated Big Damn Hero, but she can do good from this position.

44. The Well and the Lighthouse - Arcade Fire The Alpha Relay Incident

“I'm serving time All for a crime I did commit You want the truth? You know I'd do it all again“

These opening lines I feel capture the Alpha Relay Incident really well, and how Shepard did what they HAD to do there, and would do it again, but it still feels like shit. I always wished there was more choice on that mission, but also, having something like that happen without player agency is interesting. Shepard is at their most interesting, I think, in times where we DON’T have a say in what happens to them.

45. Reignite - Malukah Commander Shepard

“Crush my heart into embers, and I will reignite”

Is it cheating to use a Mass Effect fan song on my playlist? I certainly don’t think so, and this is the best Mass Effect fan song ever written.

THIRD MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 3

46. This Is War - Thirty Seconds to Mars Leaving Earth

“It's the moment of truth, and the moment to lie The moment to live and the moment to die The moment to fight, the moment to fight To fight, to fight, to fight “

It feels Too Easy to use this here but I’m gonna anyway. You’ve seen AMVs of this set to everything. It’s the ending song of DA:O. It’s the quintessential World At War song.

47. Battleborn - The Killers James Vega

“Up against the wall There's something dying on the street When they knock you down You're gonna get back on your feet”

James Vega is massively underrated and I will love him til I’m cold in the ground. Aro icon.

48. Handlebars - Flobots The Illusive Man

“I can hand out a million vaccinations Or let 'em all die of exasperation Have 'em all healed of their lacerations Have 'em all killed by assassination”

The way this song escalates fits TIM and Cerberus’s fall back into being Just Full On Evil really well. Perfect song for a power trip.

49. Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect - The Decemberists The Virmire Survivor

“And I am nothing of a builder But here I dreamt I was an architect And I built this balustrade To keep you home, to keep you safe From the outside world”

I like this song for how the Virmire Survivor feels about their survivor’s guilt and also about Shepard. I honestly wish they were both more heavily utilized in ME2 and 3, but I realize it’s hard to write a ton of content for characters who just aren’t in half of all peoples’ playthrus.

50. Heaven Knows - The Pretty Reckless Grisson Academy

“One, two, three and four, the devil's knocking at your door Caught in the eye of a dead man's lie Show your life with your head held high“

This song is so perfect for Jack and her biotic kids that she’s one of the only returning characters that gets her own song on this playlist

51. The Great Fire - OK Go Javik

“But when the flames die down, and everything is gone, Will there be fire under the ashes still?”

Self explanatory. Javik is the fire remaining under the ashes.

52. Bring the Hammer Down - Paragon Priority: Tuchanka/Kalros

“ Hammer strikes the anvil A rage that breaks the chain Strikes down like a lightening In our ranks “

KALROOOOOS

53. Wake Up - Arcade Fire Curing The Genophage/Mordin Solus

“If the children don't grow up, Our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up. We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms, turnin' every good thing to Rust I guess we'll just have to adjust”

I just really love this song as an image of Mordin’s spirit looking out over Tuchanka as the genophage cure is dispersed, and watching over future generations. If you didn’t cure the genophage, how dare you. No song for you.

Anyway started tearing up listening to this one while writing the description don’t look at me

54. Ballad of a Politician - Regina Spektor Councillor Udina/Priority Citadel 2

“A man inside a room is shaking hands with other men This is how it happens/Our carefully laid plans”

traitor

55. Cyborgs vs. Robots - Ludo The Geth-Quarian War

“But your iron fist will never knock me down 'Cause I'm powered By a conscious right to conduct my life without fear.”

This is probably a bit silly for this awful war. But also. It does fit. You can’t tell me it doesn’t. Just save them both at the end and you can feel fine having some fun with it!

56. Artificial Heart - Jonathan Coulton The Geth

“It's not a real heart It is a real artificial heart”

Just a little fun with the Geth! This works best with Reaper Upgrades.

57. With A Little Help From My Friends - Joe Anderson, Jim Sturgess The Citadel DLC

“What do you see when you turn out the light? I can't tell you, but I know it's mine

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends”

I happen to prefer this version to any other because of how much fun it sounds like they’re having

58. Dark In Here - The Mountain Goats Priority: Earth

“Steal away at sundown, pick a place to hide Check for signs of ambush, hunker down inside Tired of running, tired of never standing still Hear them riding up the hill“

You know I had to get the Goats in here. Would it be a fan playlist if there wasn’t one?

59. Adieu - Yoko Kanno Leaving your Love Interest/Shepard and the Beam

“My love for you burns deep inside me / So strong Embers of times we had And now, here I stand / Lost in a memory I see your face, and smile”

...do I need to say more than that?

60. My Way (Minor Key) - Chase Holfelder The Indoctrination of The Illusive Man

“Regrets, I've had a few/But then again, too few to mention I did what I had to do/I saw it through, without exemption“

This cover takes this song from something I tolerate when I hear it to one of my FAVORITE songs. The frenzied way he sings the “through it all” verse is PEAK Indoctrinated TIM.

61. I’m Alive - Disturbed Refusal 

“There will never be a reason why I will surrender to your advice To change myself, I'd rather die/Though they will not understand”

Honestly I didn’t “get” the Refusal ending until I heard this song, then I was like, OH, I SEE IT ALL SO CLEARLY NOW. This is my favorite in-universe Shepard take on the Refusal ending. I always got it from the player’s perspective of being dissatisfied with the options, but this one puts it into the world for me. This is a Shepard who does not trust the Starchild. This is a Shepard that chooses to end things on their own terms rather than submit to their designs.

62. Machine - Regina Spektor Control 

“I collect my moments Into a correspondence With a mightier power Who just lacks my perspective And who lacks my organics And who covets my defects “

I used to have Adieu here, actually, because like Refusal, I didn’t used to GET the Control ending. Now, I do, in part thanks to hearing this song. I mean, just go look at the full lyrics. If this song hadn’t been written years before the end of Mass Effect 3, I’d swear it was a fan song for it.

63. Maybe Tomorrow - Yuki Kajiura Destroy 

“The moon is gone And the night is still so dark I'm a little bit afraid of tomorrow“

I’m a Destroy Ending person, I won’t lie. Full on “the starchild is a liar and my synthetic friends are FINE” indoctrination theory level destroy ending. But this song is not about that. It’s about the canonical destroy ending, and if you prefer a Shep that survives it, this song’s for you.

This song captures the exhaustion and melancholy of the end of a long journey so well. Shepard is afraid of what comes next, the collateral damage resulting from their actions. But they know that, at least, it’s over now. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

64. Waiting For the End - Linkin Park Synthesis

“ I know what it takes to move on I know how it feels to lie All I wanna do is trade this life for something new Holding on to what I haven't got”

This is one of my favorite songs of all time. The hardest part of ending is starting again. Oof. Gets me every single time. Shepard finding the resolve to sacrifice themself for the hope of something better, of things not going how they planned, ever, of learning to make peace with that and the people who loved them learning to carry on without them? OOF.

65. Shine - Vienna Teng Epilogue

“Shine with all the untold Hold the light given unto you Find the love to unfold In this broken world we choose“

Vienna Teng is a master of capturing life’s softer emotions, and this fits perfectly with the epilogue scene for me. Tell me again about the Shepard.

“Find the love to unfold in this broken world we choose” has to be one of the greatest lines about the human experience ever written.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

May I request where the reader having nightmare of losing the kids and overhaul. Next thing overhaul hear his s/o crying in their sleep and confess what happen in the dream.

;-; why?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He felt something was wrong the moment he extended his arm and didn't found you on the bed.

You slept like a damn rock in comparation to him but ever since the accident with his arm you simply... seemed to forgot that you are a human, and needed sleep. It has been already almost a year since the event, but it was enough to leave a huge trauma to not only him...

He groaned while getting up, already adjusting his prosthetic arm in case something was wrong and carefully walked through the house in search for you.

Both of his brats were light sleepers just like him so he had to be carefull before he heard the typical 'daddy why are you awake?' Or the one he despised the most but couldn't turn down at the same time 'can I sleep with you and mommy?'

Damn those kids for getting almost everthing from him.

He was starting to get worried when you weren't in any rooms of the house before he found it one window open to the balcony...

He mentally face palmed at his stupidity...

"What are you doing in here? You will catch a cold." He said harshly before he heard you sniffle and apologizing, already cringing.

There. Sick. Perfect.

"Come now before I get the luck of taking care of your stupid s-" he immediately stopped talking when he saw how your eyes were puff and red and how huge your eyebags were comparing to last week.

He should've have know...

"Sorry. Did I wake you up? It really wasn't my intention."

"No, no. It's... fine."

You both stayed silent while you looked uo at the full moon, gulping down your wishes to cry your eyes out while you felt your husband's eyes not even once leaving your face.

He sighed out loud before propting his prosthetic forearm in the balcony while his good one pushed you slowly to be laying a bit on his body.

"... you're tense. Had a bad dream." He more stated than asked.

"Bingo." You said sadly, wiping some of your tears away, now looking down at his gloved hand coming to hold yours...

"... do you think it would be better if you talk about it? Evertime I have one of those disgusting things I vent about it with you so... I am retribuiting the favor." He said monotonously but still carresed with the tip of his covred nose the top of your head.

"... Isn't obvious? I lost you... but this time was Kaito and Kin as well and I can't just-!" You gulped down your sob as you brought one of your hands to your face.

"I'm... sorry." He said awkwardly but still carried a lot of guilt in his voice as he brought you closer. "I brought you to this hell in the first place... apologies angel..."

You laughed bitterly before sniffling and looking up at the moon again, feeling for a little while the warm of your husband body.

"We both know is not your fault. First, I accepted on dating a yakusa boss and second, it was that... that fucking son of bitch who did this-!" You sobbed as you looked down at his prosthetic arm on your side.

"It's ok. Please just... don't cry." He said already feeling his own eyes burning at seing his wife so depressed... all because of him.

He always did this. He always ruined and hurted the ones close to him. He was always meant to destroy... God fucking dammit-!

He stopped his train of thought when you turned in his embrace and hugged him close to you, mumbling a sorry about his mysophobia...

Even being in such a state of sadness you were still worries about him... he was really a demon....

"Kai... I can't lose you or the kids... I don't think I... I would be a stable person..."

"... Me neither." He hugged you close while he burried his face on the crook of your neck, inhaling eargly your clean and sweet scent.

A cold breezes passed through you guys, making you and Chisaki shiver a bit at the contact before he urged you silemtly to get back inside.

"... do you want to end this?"

"Huh?"

"Don't be stupid now." He said darkly while sitting besides you, looking dead in the eye "End this. End this suffering. Leave with both brats so all of you aren't in contact with-"

"I just had a nightmare abour losing the kids AND YOU, and you have the audacity to say that I want to leave?" You said more in sadness than offended, making Chisaki soften his eyes for a bit as he took a big breath.

"You know that I am not good at this..."

You smiled while shaking your in head hopeless as you silently asked for you to caress his face... he simply stared at it numbly before nodding.

"Still you got a lot better... and anyway I wouldn't want you to change the slightest..."

He scoffed while finally the hints of a smirk appeared on his face.

"Neither do I."

"Even if I have a qui-"

"Oh shut your damn mouth." He oushed you slightly yet affectionately away from him emiting a giggle of yours...

A giggle... not a cry.... he did it.

"Oh! Oh! I have one worse! I am from actually a family from old generations of hero-"

"Don't insult your family like that." He growled before he flipped your forehead, you almost letting out a yelp if it wasn't for Chisaki's gloved hand to cover your mouth.

"The brat's are asleep stupid. They can wake up with even a small sound if we're not careful." He growled close to your ear making you shiver intently.

Huh. Even despite all of this years the effect was always the same.

"Then shut me up handsome devil." You whispered as soon as your husband let go of your mouth.

"Don't angels like you learn that we are dangerous creatures? How many times will I have to corrupt you for you to learn your lesson?"

"Is my curse for falling for you." You smiled up at him whole you kissed lovingly his prosthetic arm "And I have absolutely no regrets neither shame on admiting."

He took off his mask to look you down questionably but after a mere seconds he finally smiled... a true smile of his.

"Then perish... my angel."

[suvroc]

Ok well crap I went and did it. An attempt to compile the songs mentioned throughout the fic and in the comments of @omgmussimm​ ‘s Good Omens fic Tabula Rasa. 

Abandon all hope -- song titles and some choice lyrics under the cut. 

1. Hozier’s Shrike “I couldn't utter my love when it counted Ah, but I'm singing like a bird 'bout it now I couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted Ah, but I'm singing like a bird, 'bout it now” <yes the whole song>

2. Orville Peck's Hope To Die “Take me back to the time I was yours and you were mine Take me back, the words I'd say I had to whisper Because you liked it that way”

3. Elle Fitgerald's 'The Nearness of You'  "It's not the pale moon that excites me That thrills and delights me, oh no It's just the nearness of you"

4. Big Thief - Mary More a mood than the actual lyrics. The voice. I don't usually listen to female singers because they affect me too much? It actually was the first song in this playlist that made me cry. "What did you tell me Mary When you were there so sweet and very Full of field and stars You carried all of time Oh and, heavens, when you looked at me” - “But now you're out of sight And you'll kiss me like you used to in the January night” - “The sugar rush The constant hush The pushing of the water gush”

5. boygenius - Bite the Hand “I can't touch you, I wouldn't if I could I can't love you how you want me to”

6. Dorothy Moore - Misty Blue - 1976 "Oh honey, just the mention of your name (just your name) Turns the flicker to a flame Listen to me good, baby I think of the things we used to do And my whole world turns misty blue (misty blue)” - “Ooh baby, I should forget you Heaven knows I tried (heaven knows I tried) Baby, when I say that I'm glad we're through Deep in my heart I know I've lied”

7.  Ella Fitzgerald - Angel Eyes “Angel eyes, that old Devil sent They glow unbearably bright Need I say that my love's misspent Misspent with angel eyes tonight”

..... Damn I'm not going to get through this am I?

8. Billie Holiday - I'm a Fool to Want You “I'm a fool to hold you Such a fool to hold you To seek a kiss not mine alone To share a kiss the Devil has known”

9. Under the Gun by The Killers “Because heaven sends and heaven takes Crashing cars in his brain Keep him tied up to a dream And only she can set him free And then he says to me ...kill me now kill me now kill me now kill me Stupid on the streets of London James Dean in the rain Without her it's not the same The same, the same, but it's alright”

<Crowley/Esther - and Fuck yeah, the whole song.>

10. Haley Heynderickx - The Bug Collector “And there's a praying mantis Prancing on your bathtub And you swear it's a priest From a past life out to getcha And I digress 'Cause I must make you the perfect evening I try my best To put the priest inside a jam jar”

Fucking love the imagery of this

11. Homebody - Nai Palm "You don't have to bury all of the memories Hold on love" FUCKING WATCH THE VIDEO!!!!!! ! !!

quote from the comments we must...’ramble or explode’

12. (All of a sudden) My Heart Sings - Duke Ellington / Joya Sherrill- 1945 dAMN IT... “Your little laugh and handsome cries The star light gleaming in your eyes Remembering all those little things All of a sudden my heart sings”

13. #726 Glen Hansard - My Little Ruin (Session Acoustique)

“Come on, my little sorrow Won't you sing yourself a different song The melody that made you Is now a worn out sing along Every body's looking at you But I can't stand to watch I've seen this scene come and go too much” <YES THE WHOLE SONG...shit... cried the second time you are better than they are> CRAP

14. It's Happening Again - Agnes Obel “I took a day or two To exile from the light To unfold that prisoner They call a mind And for a brief moment We could stop the time But with the stars and the moon I woke up in the night”

15. "Unchained Melody"

“Time goes by so slowly And time can do so much Are you still mine? I need your love I need your love God speed your love to me”

16. (not in the comments but this one struck me for chapter 22) The Boy Done Wrong Again - Belle and Sebastian “On Saturday I was an angel shining fair You shone louder, longer You put my shine to shame Put me to shame now Put me to shame What is it I must do to pay for all my crimes? What is it I must do? I would do it all the time.”  

17. Landslide by Fleetwood Mac - 3x - 1975

“Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life?”

(... How long is it going to take YOU to get over Tabula RAsa?)

18.  Sibylle Baier - Forget About 

SOOOOOOft “You made me forget about Have, want and exert And all of a sudden, I found out Oh, it's beautiful, the way you wear your shirt”

19. I Lost Something in the Hills  “Oh, I yearn”  😭

20. Phoebe Bridgers - Garden Song

21. Kishi Bashi - Manchester “The very last breath of the hero of our tale Would you only to guess Did he truly prevail In the the sequel? I guess I'll have to write a sequel

My favorite part's when I die In your arms like a movie It's tragic, but now the story has its proper end” - oh you guys sobbing

“Oh hello, Will you be mine? I haven't felt this alive in a long time”

XOXOXOXOXOX

(P.S. - there are two bonus tracks -.-)

[imastrangeone98]

Lost and Found - Chapter 14: Failure

(A/N: no one reads this.... but that’s ok. I didn’t anticipate it being popular anyway XD and besides, I really love writing for this fic, even though it takes a long time for me to visualize everything)

This is horribly written but yeesh XD I still love it 

There was a voice.

Faith couldn’t quite pinpoint where it was coming from, but it sounded so familiar...

“...-aith...”

...Could it be?

“엄마?”

“Faith...”

“Mommy?”

“Faith!”

Her eyes flew open. Fear and exhaustion flowed through her; she could barely make out the worried faces of Dante and Lady.

“...What...?” She squinted at them. “What happened?”

“Faith!” Dante sobbed, sweeping her up in his arms and crushing her to his chest. “You’re alive!”

She couldn’t help but smile, rubbing a hand through his hair. “Hi, Dante,” she croaked. “I’m glad to see you.” She reached out to hug Lady. “You too, my friend.”

“Yeah.” Lady sniffled, quickly wiping her eyes. “Good to see you up and kicking.”

The half-demon nuzzled into her shoulder. “How do you feel? Are you... better? Are you whole?”

If she was telling the truth, she felt like she’d been pulverized in a meat grinder. Her legs felt like jelly, and her eyes kept drooping- she was so sleepy. But that clearly wasn’t what he meant.

Her memories. Ripped out of her and tossed into the bone heap like the countless others before her. There was no way she would’ve survived without them...

Her fingers grazed her neck, slowly drifting down to her shoulder.

“You put me back together...?”

“Of course we did,” Lady said, gently massaging her aching shoulder. “We came all this way for you, we sure as hell aren’t leaving you behind.”

“Hell...” Faith mused, glancing at their surroundings... or lack thereof. Darkness covered every part of their landscape. Then she remembered- the shining hand, that kind face-

The pain.

“He absorbed us, didn’t He?”

“Yeah.” Dante huffed. “I don’t think He quite understands what it means to throw a party.”

“Yes.” Faith stumbled to her feet, only to collapse on the pile of bones. “Oh...”

“Yeah.” Lady rubbed her back and slung one of Faith’s arms over her shoulders. “Don’t think about it.”

“Kind of hard not to,” Faith whispered.

Her friend gazed at her, blue-red eyes barely glimmering in the darkness. “I know.”

Dante took hold of her other arm. The two helped her to her feet, then began to walk, her limp body hanging between them. “You probably shouldn’t walk too much, anyway. You’re still recovering.”

Pure exhaustion swept through her body. The darkness blended in so well with her vision. “I’m so sleepy...”

“No!” Dante yelled right by her ear, jolting her back to reality. “Don’t! We don’t know if you’ll wake up again.”

“Right. Sorry...” But she still felt so tired.

Lady stumbled beside her. “Maybe it’s just a side effect from coming back from the dead. Should we let her rest?”

Dante’s answer was immediate: “No. This place is draining her alive. We need to get out of here, and fast.”

“But how?! Have you seen the size of this place...?”

Her friends’ voices were slowly drifting away. She couldn’t focus. God, she was just so tired...

Alive....

Her eyes creaked open. Was there a voice? But it didn’t sound like any she knew...

Stay alive... Voices whispered, soft and gentle, breaths of air in an empty field. Nephilim. Kin. Pure. Escape.

“...How...?” she mumbled, drowsy. “How can I save them...?”

There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin of existence. In the madness of this sad earthly scene, only then we are clean. Purify this place, kin of ours. Only then can you be free.

Purify... How could a nephilim purify God Himself? She was a mistake, a living symbol of sin at its highest.

A failure. A reject. Therefore, I will give you purpose.

Faith’s head pounded. Pain pulsed throughout her body, running through her veins, composing her entire being.

“Faith!”

“Oh, shit, what the hell is this?!”

Lady. Dante.

Hands rubbed her shoulders, smooth voices whispered in her ears, urging her to return to reality.

“Stay with me, Faith,” Dante murmured. “Stay with me.”

She clenched her hands, nails biting deep into the skin. She forced herself back to them.

“Always.” She let out a groan. “I... I don’t know what happened.”

“You were fading,” Lady said in a trembling voice. “Your body was literally disappearing. Like it was...”

“Being absorbed,” he completed. “This place is killing you. We need to get out of here, but... Fuck!” He kicked at a skull. “I just... don’t fucking know how!”

He has forgotten, the voices returned. Remind Him.

“Remind Him of what?” Faith asked.

“What are you talking about?”

“Do you hear voices? There’s voices whispering to me.”

Her companions stared at her. Great. She was going crazy. Dante was right- this place was eating her alive, body, mind, and soul.

“Never mind-“

Love. He has forgotten love. The greatest power of all, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. Remind Him.

“But how?”

He has forgotten. But you have not. You never have. Remind Him. You know how. It is in your blood.

“Faith?” Lady rubbed her back. Worry poured off of her. “Maybe you should rest. You seem out of it.”

She didn’t pay attention. In the deep corners of her foggy mind, a faint memory began to resurface.

It is in your blood.

“You and I are meant to be musicians, Faith,” her father once told her, when she had asked him why they practiced the violin every day. “Music is in our blood.”

Music. Remind Him.

He has forgotten love.

The voices said that she hadn’t forgotten it. What did that mean? Didn’t she, though? She had lost everyone she ever loved, everyone she cared about. Who did she have left?

...

“You won’t lose me. I promise.”

...!

“I’ll work hard every day to make myself a better person for you.”

...!!

They were right. She hadn’t forgotten. She had them.

Lady. Someone who looked at the world with a fierce intensity, yet hid a soft side deep inside her heart, brittle as glass- yet it sparkled so brightly when placed in the light in just the right manner. She was someone who was comfortable with being alone, a full moon in a midnight sky, yet she shone brightest when surrounded by others. She had a preference for irises over roses, never failing to point them out to her on a hike.

Dante. A wild man who seemed to take everything placed at his feet in stride, and did a great job at hiding his sensitivity behind a thick layer of nonchalance and brash arrogance. He was someone who was unwilling to admit he was afraid; his actions spoke louder than his words. He preferred leaving slices of pizza on her plate rather than asking her outright if she was hungry.

The scars on her body pulsed with faint, golden light. Reminders of the people she failed. People she loved.

Love. She had it all along.

CRACK!

A grunt of pain escaped her half-demon companion, Devil-Triggered body flickering with draining demonic energy. He rested haphazardly on the small pile of bones next to her, body slowly returning to its human form.

“Fuck,” he huffed, gripping at his side. His exhaustion flowed through her; she nearly sagged with the weight of it. “There’s no exit above us; I flew as high as I could. And I don’t think it’s possible to dig through all these bones.”

“And we already know that there’s no limit to what’s in the middle,” Lady grumbled. “Shit.”

“It’s okay, guys,” Faith said, staggering to her feet. “I have a plan.”

“You do?”

“...I think.” She summoned her violin, which rested heavily in her arms. “I’ll give it a shot.”

She began to play. Can’t Help Falling in Love flowed through the air, and for a brief moment, the ache in her bones began to soothe. A soft golden light bloomed around them, and it illuminated her friends’ faces.

She channeled everything into the song- her love for her family and her friends, her desire to see them live long and happy lives, her desire for Dante and Lady to escape and be happy.

The bones around them seemed to rattle. The golden light around them expanded a little more.

SNAP!

Golden blood dripped down her fingertips. The snapped strings of her violin dangled off the wood like useless lifelines. "Oh, no..."

"Shit!" Lady searched through her pockets with frenzy. "Your hands are bleeding!"

She ignored her friend's attempts at wrapping her cuts. Quickly, Faith sent energy coursing through the instrument, pouring every ounce of hope and joy she could muster into repairing it.

The spruce top began to crack.

She grew desperate. She panicked. "Come on...!"

The bouts splintered. The fingerboard shattered.

Faith stared at the broken wood.

Dread. All she felt was dread.

She had failed them. She had failed everyone.

"What...?" She collapsed on a small bone pile and stared at her blood. "What have I done?"

Dante scooted over to her. "Hey..." He patted her knee. "Hey, it's okay."

"No, it's not!" she sobbed. "I ruined everything! I can't get you all out of here! We're all going to be absorbed, and it's all because I wasn't strong enough!" Her voice clogged in her throat. "No music. No family. No nothing. The voices were wrong. I have nothing left." The tears continued to fall, and her mouth was filled with the taste of salt and anguish. "Nothing."

Silence reemerged from the darkness of His stomach. It coiled around them, much like a snake, squeezing every ounce of life from them, second by second. And Faith was powerless to stop it.

"...Well, that's not very nice," Lady mused. "We're here, aren't we?"

"...Huh?"

"She's right," Dante huffed, swinging an arm over her shoulders. "You haven't forgotten about us, have you?"

"No... Of course not." She felt a warm hand gently run under her eyes, wiping away her tears.

"It's alright," he murmured, tucking her head into his shoulder. The smell of sweat, cinnamon, and gunpowder laced his bare skin. It was comforting, to be surrounded by the warmth of her friends. "You know, this ain't a bad place to die in."

Lady rolled her eyes, but nevertheless rested her head on Faith's shoulder in turn. "Quite frankly, I had much higher expectations for my death."

"Go out in a blaze if glory?" the male guessed.

"That, or just a nice simple death. Falling asleep forever doesn't seem so bad." She moved her head to now rest in the nephilim's lap. "A nap sounds nice."

"Yeah..." His silver hair was beginning to look dull in the encroaching darkness. "Kinda sleepy..."

Drowsiness began to seep through Faith. Suddenly, the thought of resting here was incredibly appealing. After all, she had her friends here with her, keeping her company, keeping her warm.

She continued to watch drop after drop of her blood splatter onto the bones at her feet. Her eyelids began to flutter shut.

Wait, she thought. Before we sleep, I should tell them.

"Lady... Dante..."

Each of them let out a soft hum of acknowledgement.

"I love you. Thank you for being with me... until the end."

"'Course," he replied. Warm lips pressed against her temple. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

"Ditto," Lady mumbled, nuzzling further into her thigh. "G'night..."

Faith ran a hand through her beloved friend's hair. With the other, she reached up to smooth Dante's shaggy locks. "Goodnight..."

Her scars shifted.

Goodnight, my friends... she thought to them. You're free...

She could rest now.

------------------------------------------------------

A/N: haha yesss angst mothafucka!! Horribly written but still!!! Yessss

.....sigh but i already have an ending planned so i guess i cant kill her off.... or can i? Muahahahahahahahahaha!!

Edit: read chapter 15! :D

[ralfstrashcan]

ok but 5 least favourite sh characters 👀

Hahahaha dear anon, it’s like you’re reading my mind. When you asked about my five favorite characters (I’m just gonna go ahead and assume these asks are all from the same person) I did think about who my five least favorite characters are as well, so I’m actually prepared this time! :D

1. Raziel. The most pointless, annoying character I’ve ever encountered. “It’s not the wish of heaven to erase all demon blooded creatures but since I made a binding pinky promise a millennium ago to do any idiot’s bidding who summons me at midnight over a stupid lake when the moon is in the seventh house I’ll still go ahead and do it. I mean it’s genocide but what can you do if someone asks nicely, amiright? Oh wait, what is that? There’s a battle going on at the shores of the stupid lake. Seems like someone wants to stop that genocide. Should I get involved?? Hmmmmmm no, I’m just gonna keep flapping in the background like the useless prop I am and dim the lights a bit for more dramatic wrestling in the half-dark.”I can’t even.

2. Helen Blackthorn. Oh, how I hate her. She’s the perfect example of moral stupidity where an action is right and good as long as she does it to others but becomes outrageous and wrong as soon as someone attempts to do the same to her. And on top of that she’s framed as a courageous heroine by the show with literally no one calling her out on her bullshit and self-absorbed behavior.(A more detailed explanation can be found in my 3x17 reaction post, just ctrl+f “sob story”)

3. Max Lightwood. UGH. Nothing drives me up the wall like spoiled and entitled kids who think they’re always the smartest person in the room. He’s insolent but everyone around him accepts it without rebuke (except Jace that one time in 2x08, that’s why I love you Jace, stick it to the little devil!)Max thinks he’s oh so grown-up and knows better than anyone else, and while he has his moments like figuring out then-Sebastian’s real identity he’s also dumb enough to flat out confront him without a plan or calling backup first. Smh.(I was so hyped in 3B when Jonathan attacked the Institute Max was staying at only to be devastatingly disappointed when he didn’t finish the job he started back in 2B. I wanted to dance on Max’s grave, dammit.)

4. Raj. He honestly doesn’t have a single redeeming quality. He’s racist, he’s a coward, he makes tasteless jokes over the corpse of a fellow Shadowhunter, he wants to kick Magnus out of the Institute when he’s the only thing keeping Alec, also a fellow Shadowhunter, alive.The only moment Raj had where I didn’t completely despise him was when he went behind Alec’s back in 3x02 and logged him out of the system. Going against orders because you believe you’re protecting your comrades from a reckless, irrational decision your leader made is a motivation I can appreciate.

5. Madzie. Yes, before you start wondering, I have rarely met a child character I didn’t hate. I still have nightmares from that Orphan Black brat. Give a character scenes that scream “I’m the cute kid/sidekick!” and have everyone else fawn over them and it’s 80% sure I’ll hate them.Anyway, Madzie. One thing that annoys me about her is that she’s very obviously a cute accessory for Malec. Remember that ice cream flashback? As soon as she served her purpose she just, vanishes from the scene.The other thing that annoys me about her is that whole thing with Iris. They had a good relationship where Iris took care of her and (very likely) kept Madzie in the dark about the gory details of how she came to be. Valentine uses Iris as leverage to get Madzie to cooperate and that works. But later in 3x11 when Iris wants to take her back Madzie protests loudly and it doesn’t make sense. They didn’t even tell Madzie about Magnus’s magic loss, am I supposed to believe they told her what the heck sick shit Iris was up to? Probably not, if they didn’t want to traumatize her further. Even if they told her that Iris is evil and has to rot in prison I find it hard to believe that Madzie would immediately joing Team Anti Iris.So yeah, Madzie is nothing but an accessory kid and a plot device, and I don’t have the patience for either.

[marinetteplztakeabreak]

Chat Blanc Trailer Theory

This spawned as a combination of 1) me trying to put the Chat Blanc trailer clips in order in some way that could fit in a 20-minute episode, 2) a crack theory that got way too out of hand and ended with me writing an entire episode, and 3) my desperate need to see actual character development and communication happen at some point in Miraculous. So take this episode outline that’s technically crack but probably still way more developed than whatever Chat Blanc’s actually going to be. (Under the cut because this got ridiculously long)   Featuring my inability to write angst without fluff and my absolute love of Alix

The episode starts out at the very end of an akuma battle. Sabrina’s been akumatized for reasons unrelated to the plot, Ladybug devilizes the butterfly, they say “pound it,” Chat says something like “see, that was an easy battle, I didn’t even need to use my cataclysm.” And Ladybug’s like “I still think you’re being too risky, you can’t just run into situations like that-“ but they’re cut off because they’re right next to the Agreste mansion now and they see the devilized akuma fly through the wall and inside, and Chat’s like “oh no,” and this is his house so he’s naturally even more curious and he just runs in through and window ignoring Ladybug’s calls for him to wait. She’s exasperated but her earrings are beeping, meaning she has less than a minute left, so she detransforms, very briefly talks to Tikki, and retransforms and immediately uses her lucky charm, hoping it will give her some way to find Chat Noir

Meanwhile Adrien chases it (like a little cat chasing a butterfly aww) and somehow ends up in his father’s secret basement room, he sees Gabriel monologuing about “I failed this time but it’s only a matter of time before I save you-“ but then Mayura’s pops down the elevator like “sir there’s an intruder” and Adrien doesn’t quite know what’s going on but he’s absolutely panicking. Hawkmoth, still not knowing who chat noir is, tries to somehow monologue to explain himself but as soon as Adrien recovers he’s trying to fight Hawkmoth, he yells out cataclysm but he doesn’t know what to cataclysm, Hawkmoth says out loud that Emilie’s his wife so Adrien knows and doesn’t want to murder his father, especially not before he knows the whole story, and again, he’s pretty emotionally compromised and thinking is difficult. So he’s fighting both Hawkmoth and Mayura at once with one hand and ends up being pushed upstairs and then onto the roof (because obviously Gabriel’s first priority is to protect the secret coma mom room) and then Ladybug jumps back with some banter trying to keep the conversation going with chat noir and she can tell he’s hurting but she does manage to get the basic gist of what just happened (she doesn’t get Adrien’s identity though) There’s a lot better matched of a battle, although Mayura knocks away her lucky charm and it falls off the building, but then Hawkmoth’s like “I sense strong negative emotions coming from you” to Chat Noir (who he still has no idea is Adrien) and he calls out one of his roof akumas to evilize chat noir. We don’t see where the akuma lands because the camera is pointing at a terrified looking Ladybug.

So chat’s still unused catacliysm goes off, and we’re going with the theory that he somehow desptroys the moon and causes Paris to flood, and he also starts a giant storm, and Marinette doesn’t know what’s up at all but she’s very frightened obviouslys (so it’s snowing and the strreets are very slowi;y starting to fill with water but it’s not an instant flood) and then of course her earrings start beeping again which means that she’s going to detransform any minute and she’s like “wow, I do not feel very lucky right now.” Oh also, it literally wasn’t realized at first amid the chaos and also the building cracking but the blast seems to have just destroyed Hawkmoth and Mayura. At this point, chat blanc is just sitting still looking a little feral and crazy in his eyes, and Ladybug tries to approach him but he hisses aa her and she doesn’t know what his powers are but she doesn’t have time to deal with this now, she has like ten seconds before she detransforms, so she leaps off the building into some little alleyway right as her suit fades away, and she gasps for air and she’s trying to organize her thoughts enough to talk to Tikki but she’s just stuttering (also again there’s a storm so she’s freezing). And then of course, she turns around and Alix is staring directly at her. It doesn’t even matter what the lucky charm was but Alix is holding it and she’s like “I saw you drop this so I went to go try to pick it up for you” and it’s at that point that Marinette just starts absolutely sobbing. Alix has no idea how to comfort her but she just kinda pats her back and tries not to freak out about Tikki appearing (though her eyes do go a bit wide) but eventually she’s like “ok so obviously you’re Ladybug, would you mind filling me on on the rest of what’s going on because the storm’s getting worse.” And Marinette’s like “oh crap I totally forgot about that” Also just so we’re clear, Tikki isn’t mad at Marinette at this point, she’s doing her best to calm her down because so much craziness has happened anyways.

There’s not a lot of time to go in depth (20 minute time limit and we’re about 5-7 minutes in, the 5 minutes after Marinette uses her lucky charm should actually be five minutes of run time) but Marinette confirms that she’s Ladybug, that chat noir’s been akumatized, and that Gabriel Agreste is Hawkmoth and also that she feels very lost and she has no idea what to do now, she doesn’t have a plan. And then Alix is like “cool so it’s my turn right? I have the last chance kwami, I only come in when all hope is lost.” And Marinette’s like “Future bunnix said it is your Miraculous in the future, but I haven’t given that to you yet so it’s not really yours.” And Alix is like “well then it’s about time you gave it to me.” So Marinette manages to find Master Fu nearby (possibly using aforementioned lucky charm), picks out the rabbit Miraculous, and gives it to Alix. Marinette decides she needs help from past chat noir and she needs Alix to find him so she can figure out what specific emotional vulnerabilities he may have or what powers he might have, and her kwami says that she has the power of last chance, she can time travel long distance (much further than the snake) but because she’s still a child, she can only time travel once before recharging and she’s not really going to be able to control how far back she goes very well. She also will have less control if she goes through more time loops, so retrying things over and over again is a really bad idea that could easily end up with her trapped in ancient Egypt or breaking time. So she’s going to have one shot and she needs to use it however she can and then come back with whatever information she has, while trying not to break anything in the past timeline so that she doesn’t have to go back and change that too, if at all possible. The goal is to use her powers as little as she can while she’s still figuring it out. She asks Marinette to help her come up with a more specific plan and Marinette starts figuring things out but then chat blanc jumps into the alley where they’re hiding and Marinette yells “spots on!” so she can get superpowers back and then chat, who looks way the heck more like a threat now, starts fighting with Ladybug as Alix quickly last-chances her way out of there.

So just like with Ladybug and Chat noir, Bunnix has a 5 minute timer going, so she quickly gets to an alley, detransforms, and comes out to see that school just got out. Nathaniel waves at her and she’s like “sorry can’t talk right now” and dodges away before she can be seen by herself because she knows that her past self would be immediately suspicious and she doensn’t want to start something she can’t deal with. She’s trying to figure out what day it was, she doesn’t recognize it as any specific day but it seems to only be a week or so in the past at most. Also, Alix is narrating this to her kwami as she figures things out, and she very quickly deduces that Adrien is chat noir, but her kwami warns her not to reveal anyone’s secret identities to each other. So Alix finally spots Adrien, but he immediately gets into his car with a bodyguard, and Alix doesn’t think she’d be able to break into his house very well, she needs to find a way to get a note to him.

She does the logical thing first and tries to text him but her phone’s trying to text Adrien a few days too late (it’s still on her time) and so the messages won’t go through. She has no idea how to explain the situation to anyone so she can borrow their phone without suspicion, and she’s also just not thinking completely clearly (it is her first mission afterall), but the fact that she’s hiding and there’s only so many hiding places just outside of school leads to her seeing Marinette talking to Tikki. Tikki is trying to discourage Marinette from her plan to sneak a gift into Adrien’s house as Ladybug, because she could be seen and blow her identity, but Marinette’s like “I’ll be careful, it’s fine.” So Alix, clears her throat, and Marinette jumps while Alix pretends to not have seen the kwami, and proceeds to distract Marinette with whatever contrived conversations she can come up with.

“So… Marinette…. Physics class was fun today, wasn’t it?”

“Physics class was cancelled today, you were there.”

“Oh yeah! Of course, I just meant that it was fun… that we didn’t have it… How’s your art project coming along?”

“The one that was due yesterday?”

“YEP! Haha I’m so bad at turning things in on time.”

“Alix, I’d love to talk but I really need to go-“

“Oh no is that an akuma! Nevermind it’s just a pidgeon.”

Meanwhile the bunny kwami is sneaking a note that Alix had written to Adrien/ chat noir into Marinette’s gift. Could Alix have just snuck in herself? Probably. Is she still working out how to be logical because this is her first mission? Absolutely.

Marinette finally escapes and now needs to run before Adrien gets home, but surprise, she gets just barely too late and Adrien sees her sign the gift and leave as Ladybug. He sees that the signature on the gift says Marinette and he’s like “wait a minute that must mean that-“ and Plagg’s like “please don’t say it out loud. If you don’t say it out loud I can have plausible deniability and Tikki won’t murder me.”

Cut to outside, where it’s just starting to rain, and Marinette detransforms and Tikki’s like “oh my god Marinette he totally saw you. What did I tell you? You’re going to have to give up your miraculous now, I can’t just NOT tell Master Fu that this happened.”

At the same time, Adrien opens whatever the gift is and is super happy, but then he sees the note from Alix that implies she needs to talk to him about something Chat Noir related and he’s like “oh no this sounds like an emergency” so he heads out as quickly as he can, it takes him a minute to get past Natalie but he says he just needs to pick up something he dropped outside and then runs before she can argue.

Now, Marinette’s still just outside and she’s absolutely panicking about her identity being revealed and losing Tikki, and Tikki’s not yelling anymore she’s just sad she’ll likely have to say goodbye to Marinette because Marinette’s safety comes first. (Remember, Tikki knows that Adrien is chat noir.) Marinette’s feeling hopeless and mad at herself so of course Hawkmoth, without knowing the full situation, sends out an akuma for her, and Adrien sees first Marinette, and then the butterfly from the steps.

He basically knows that Marinette is Ladybug now, and he knows it would be disastrous if she were akumatized, so without thinking he runs while transforming and cataclysms the akuma an foot away from her face.

Marinette watched him do this, so she knows he’s Adrien right now, and Tikki’s like “sure why not, now I can at least explain to Marinette why this was so bad.”

Alix (who’s still here) has been watching from the sidelines and finally decides that enough things have already been messed up that she’s going to have to find a way to undo it anyway, so she goes up to them and does her best to briefly explain the situation.

They sit down and have an actual honest talk and a little bit of time to process the reveal, and Adrien looks really sad to find out his dad is Hawkmoth, but it’s like how he was at the end of Chameleon. He’s hurting but he’s not about to be akumatized.

Plagg, on the other hand, is reeling. He’s furious with Gabriel Agreste because he always suspected that he was a terrible father, he saw what Adrien wouldn’t, and he’s so attached to Adrien, Adrien doesn’t deserve this. And Alix, who hasn’t been doing this long enough to have formed presumptions, asks if kwamis can be akumatized. They all say they don’t think so but that’s not proven.

Eventually Alix has to head back, leaving Adrien and Marinette to have some serious conversations about there dual lives. However, as soon as Alix gets back to the present, she’s stopped by future, adult Bunnix. She winks at Alix and tells her she did an amazing job on her first mission, but she already knows what happened (obviously, because it’s her), and she can’t redo it herself because of the whole issue with time travelling multiple times increasing the chances of her breaking things. Alix was afraid that she didn’t get anything useful at all but Bunnix says that she got exactly what they needed and also everyone has to have their first mission at some point. She also tells young Alix that she (older Bunnix) can handle this battle, but there’s one more job that young Alix may have to do so she should just be ready for if she gets a not from older Bunnix

There’s a brief cut back to Marinette and Adrien outside the Agreste mansion, they both seem to realize that things can’t stay this way and that Bunnix is going to somehow undo this which is so sad because things make so much more sense now, and we get our first love square kiss. This is possibly also the scene that was written to make the audience cry. I haven’t decided if it’s going to be specifically undone within the events of the episode (time limits again) but it obviously didn’t happen because otherwise the future wouldn’t be what it is.

Back in the present, future Bunnix and Ladybug are fighting a wild chat blanc and trying not to get obliterated by random storms, there’s a really heartwrenching “I know you’re in there” fight, more so because Chat blanc doesn’t seem to want to do this. It’s clearly hurting him to see Ladybug in pain but he’s just so much more feral and out of control and he doesn’t know what he’s doing or how to control himself, and he’s scared.

Future Alix says that the akuma is in chat noir’s ring (she’s like 90% sure and the doubt is killing Ladybug because what if it’s not-) but Ladybug trusts her enough to sneak the rings away from chat noir and crush it, and luckily a purple butterfly comes out, which means that her miracle cure will fix everything. She also can’t help but realize that chat noir detransformed into Adrien as soon as his ring was gone. She says “Miraculous Ladybug” and everything’s sort of back to normal? But Adrien still looks like he’s in pain and Hawkmoth’s still nowhere to be found. So Plagg appears after this and it turns out that it was his negative emotions that Hawmoth sensed, and that the akuma attached to, and the fact that Plagg was more powerful and less in control of himself lead to chat noir going crazy like that. Because Plagg’s a kwami, Hawkmoth wouldn’t have been able to mind control him or force him to give up his Miraculous, so he was just exploding with power and negative emotions instead.

There’s a second scene of Adrien and Marinette dealing with the reveal, this time with a very different tone, they’re both so much more scared, and Bunnix says that it’s okay, they don’t have to know yet, she’s not going to force them but if they want she can undo it.

And Adrien asks what the point would be then, if they just give up it’s worth nothing, why are they even Ladybug and Chat Noir if they can’t handle the endgame.

And Bunnix says that that’s completely wrong. They’re still a little kitten and minibug right now, everyone starts out small, they don’t even realize how far they’ve come. Every akuma they face, every argument they get through together, makes them so much stronger, and it’s okay if they’re not quite to the endpoint yet, they’ve already become the best at being Ladybug and Chat Noir in all of Paris because they’ve been practicing and learning. Someday they’ll be ready, progress will sneak up on them until they’re more powerful than their current selves could imagine. And even now, what matters most is that they help in the little ways that grow, by helping individuals who have been akumatized and making residents of Paris feel safer, and by keeping the miraculouses safe.

So there’s a second love square kiss as they decide that it’s okay to save this as a problem for later instead of dealing with it now, and then the episode ends at the beginning with Alix skateboarding directly into Chat Noir before he can see the butterfly and chase it, and it’s implied that Alix still knows all even if it’s been erased from everyone else’s memories, and she’s holding the watch now.

Ladybug says goodbye to Chat Noir, still in her opening argument that he needs to be more careful next time, and Chat’s like “ok, fine, if it worries you that much I’ll be more careful” and they can both see that the other is stressed so they hug and part ways.

[guesswho-mp3]

[ Lady Luck ]

Au: twoface!baekhyun | Pairing: character x reader | Warning: language, death, gore/body horror, sexual references | Rating: 16+ | Word Count: 1.6k

This is: Visage One | Visage Two

“Rough day?” A light voice questioned. Baekhyun could feel the pent up tension in his body ease, his shoulders slightly slumping as he turned around while loosening his tie. The last of his worries left him, like waves flowing from shore, ebbing away at the sight of her leaning against the hallway.

“The worst,” he mumbled, hands circling her waist, nuzzling against her neck to inhale her scent. “There’s enough as it is, trying to clean up the G.C.P.D with the corruption scandals pouring in and Moon isn’t complying. The Gazette is more interested in my dating life than my plans for the future and I just have to smile and wave like an idiot. Did you know that they started calling me Two Face down at the precinct?”

“Oh my poor baby,” she dramatically sighed, laughing in admiration when he raised his head to reveal a pout. She thumbed at his bottom lip and his hand fell to her ass, giving it a light squeeze. Arcing her eyebrow at him he just hummed, taking her thumb into his mouth, wet tongue lapping at the digit. She grasped his tie and started pulling him towards their shared bedroom.

“Come on then, Mr. Hahm. Let me see what I can do to make it better.”

When he came to the world was blurry, the only clear sensation he could feel was a splitting pain on the left side of his head. His right hand crept up to pick at the bandages on his face, starting to peel the edges back.

“Uh uh uh, I wouldn’t do that if I were you boy-o.” Baekhyun’s neck snapped in the direction of the voice, neck straining to the far left in order to be able to look out of his right eye.

The Crown Prince of Crime sat in the cushy hospital chair in the corner of the room, dressed in a white nurse’s uniform. The reaction was immediate, a coarse yell for help escaping his throat as his body jerked back and forth, the burning of his limbs too great to actually get up.

“Scream all you want. I shot the doctor and the police are running around like headless chickens at the Court House. They’re not coming.” The clown’s voice was unemotional, the lackadaisical way in which he said his words even more terrifying.

He kept still even after five minutes of watching Baekhyun struggling to lift himself up, frustrated yells and curses leaving his lips, a cracked image of the sophisticated and put together DA candidate that graced Gotham News. He was thoroughly enjoying this. He knew the Bat wouldn’t, and that thought made him laugh.

The attorney finally quieted seeing as the clown had yet to do anything. He leaned back in the bed, his right eye still furrowed at the figure in the corner.

“Why are you here?” Baekhyun accused, his right nostril flaring. The burn tape that covered half of his face still didn’t stop the wince at the burn of his torn cheek tendon stretching.

“To see you of course. Now I’ve done a lot of bad things to a lot of good people, but I have to admit, I think I really outdid myself on this one.” A proud smile strained his visage, his eyes slightly glazing over.

Baekhyun scoffed. “So what, you’ve come here to mock me?” He could feel an angry tear forming in his waterline, turning his head at the last second so the clown wouldn’t see it, he couldn’t give the madman the satisfaction. But it didn’t go unnoticed as he’d hoped, snake tongue passing over red stained lips at the sight of the liquid pain. If only his Lady Luck were here. Baekhyun didn’t see what happened to her after the attack.

White hot fury engorged Baekhyun’s pupil as he scrutinized the Joker, body trembling. “Wait. Where is she? What did you do to her?.”

Joker abruptly rose from the chair, like a marionette brought to attention, and got up close to Baekhyun, leaning in as if telling him a secret. “Oh, you don’t know?” He chuckled, a humorless, caustic sound.

“She's dead.”

The air was knocked out of Baekhyun’s lungs, the unshed tears forming a hurricane as he wailed and twisted in the hospital bed. The desperation he felt was mutating into something else. It was growing claws and gnashing teeth. His psyche was cracking like concrete, straight down the middle, his heart shattering along with it. He wanted blood. His paralyzed state prevented him from seizing a hold of the clown who just raised his hands up and backed away in mock surrender, his own figure buckling under the crazed cackles that wracked his body. This was going so well.

“I get it you know ehehe, it must be difficult to lose your other half. Especially aha, when it was y-your ahaha,” he wheezed,” prettier one.” Baekhyun felt like he was in hell, the previous screams reduced to a mixture of helpless sobs and infuriated growls, as if his soul were being split in two. Rage, earth-quaking, blind vengeance overcame him.

The Joker wasn’t done though. He had to push him, make him his pawn, his raving mad dog.

“May I ask a question?” He took the severe glare and snarling he received as his sign to continue. “You were squirming in your sleep, like you were having a very pleasant dream.” The grin that appeared on his face was predatory. He came closer from the foot of the bed, fingers skipping along Baekhyun’s left leg.

”Though I wonder, with the acid dripping down your body can your little friend still…” His eyes trailed down the blanket, whistling like a bird while raising his pointer finger up. In a sudden show of strength, Baekhyun grabbed the jester by the collar, pulling him eye level, seething at him, foaming at the mouth.

“Ok ok, aha, touchy subject, though I’m sure nobody is going to touch that anytime soon,” he tittered. “Especially since, oh what’s her face—”

Baekhyun barked out her name, spittle flying from his mouth and onto the corner of the clown’s, who licked up the drop before he continued, “Yes right, especially since she kicked the bucket. But that’s not important. Look, I wanna help you, Hahm.”

“Help us?” He grunted, skeptical at how the madman’s switch. His right eye roved across the clown, voice suddenly hushed, eye wide and desperate, “You want to help me?”

“Yes, help you. Listen, Baek, I may have pulled the trigger, but Batman and the Commisioner loaded the gun,” he said in a comic lilt. “You put your trust in a corrupt order. Am I right? You put your trust in the Bat, of all vermin, and where did that get you? A dead girlfriend and a fucked up face?” The Joker’s hand ghosted over the bandage.

Traitors, a voice spat. We have to make them pay. Punish them.

But they promised. They deserve a fair trial.

Deserve? The pigs deserve a bullet in their heads after what happened. They promised to protect you. But they just screwed us over. They screwed her over. Now we’ve lost everything because of them.

But they really tried—

Tried? Tried?! Give the Bat a gold fucking star than, get on your knees and blow Moon to thank him for the brilliant job he did. After that you can go tell the love of our life to go fuck herself and spit on her grave.

Oh God, please stop, don’t mention her. She didn’t deserve to die. It’s not fair. Baekhyun hit the left side of his head as he sobbed, a wet squelch being released from under the surgical tape with each bout of pressure.

Joker just watched on, transfixed, as Gotham’s White Knight started cracking, one part of him maliciously attacking and the other cowering. Two identities forming, one a tiny show poodle, charming and gentile. The other a rabid rottweiler, eyes rolling and teeth gnashing. The madness was being let loose. That acid must’ve really done a number on him. And boy was he gonna run with it.

“Doesn’t it ever bother you that Batman is always the one that crosses the line but never seems to lose anything?” Baekhyun bristled.

Joker pulled a gun out of the waistband of his nurse uniform, placing it in Baehyun’s hand and wrapping his fingers around it. “With life so merciless, the only thing that will forever remain faithful is chaos. Ok? Chaos is clean. Pure. Chaos doesn’t play favorites. It just kills and spares. Life. Death. Balanced. It’s fair. ”

“Fair?” Baekhyun trembled, weighing the glock in his grip.

“Yes,” the devil falsely soothed, voice grating and sinister. He lightly stroked the bandage on Baekhyun’s head, “Now are you just gonna let them get away with it? After what happened to her?”

The monster was back, rearing its ugly head. “No,” he snarled, fingers grasping the metal hilt, thumbing at the hammer, “we’re not.” He used his other hand to rip off the bandage, hissing as some pieces of skin went with it, flinging specks of blood onto the pillow.

“I’m glad you see it my way. It’s time to turn over a new leaf in this city. After all, like your slogan says,” Joker grabbed a mirror from the bedside table, turning it towards the fallen attorney.

He saw gnarled oozing skin. Part of his cheekbone and mandible were uncovered from stringy red muscle, surrounded by crusted and flaking gray skin. Patches of hair were singed off and one side of his mouth was curled in, revealing pearly white teeth hidden behind cheek tendon. Something flashed in his dead eye, nearly hanging out from the socket, the Joker staring back at his twisted grin in the smoke and tar of his clouded orb. There was a hunger there. Cereberus waiting to be let off the leash with an appetite for anarchy— to watch cities burn and symbols to fall. The Dark Knight to fall.

“The new face of Gotham, is Baekhyun Hahm.”

[babyspiderling]

Hearts Far From Home Part 2

Big ole time skip because I don’t want to retell the entirety of Infinity War and just add Reader into specific scenes. 

Part 1

Part 3

We all hide on the deserted planet. Dr. Strange being the only one visible. As the “Mad Titan” appears through a portal of some kind, I can’t help but whisper “He looks like a grape ass bitch to me.” to Peter who crouches down next to me. As we wait, I explore the pockets of my suit, finding seeds and pods from different plants. I use these to grow my garden, seeing no plant life here on this planet, only dust and metal surrounding us. They grow silently and quickly, placing roots deep in the ground. We hear “I think you’ll find our will equal to yours.” from Strange, that’s our que. Mr. Stark pushes a large structure on top of the thing,Thanos destroying it and throws it back at Tony. As Peter webs the grapes face, I sprint in, using the plant life around me to grow large. I throw my arms out and my garden charges forward. It wraps around his hand, growing thick and strong, keeping him from closing his fist. Peter flies through portals yelling “Magic!” “Magic with a kick-” Thanos grabs My Peter and slams him to the ground. “Insect” I throw more and more trees and plant life at him. “He’s an ARACHNID!” He throws Peter and goes after me. I throw up a wall of full grown trees, their roots deep and strong. He bulldozes through them, continuing his chase. I use my vines to stop pull me up and out of reach as Iron Man starts his fire attack on the Titan. 

We all secure Thanos to the ground, as Mantis uses her power to subdue him. My vines secure his free hand to the ground as Stark does his best to pry off the gauntlet. As it finally comes loose bit by bit, Peter Q interrogates the Titan we all struggle to hold. He hits Thanos with his gun, making Mantis lose her hold on the purple thing. As Thanos comes too, he kicks us all away. I scream as he brings down the moon onto Tony, still flying through the air. Peter webs Mantis to a structure, and then grabs me. “I’ve got ya.” From our perch, we all see the battle happening between Thanos and Tony. I curl into Peter, unable to watch, yet unable to tear my eyes away from the scene. 

Thanos stabs Mr. Stark with his own blade, I can’t help but release a blood curdling scream of “No!” I struggle against Peter, trying to get to him. “Peter, I can heal him, I can fix this! You’ve got to let me heal him! I have to help him!” He just grasps me tighter burying himself into my neck. I barely hear Strange make a deal with the devil. To spare Tony’s life in return for the time stone. “Peter, please, let me tell Strange about my powers, please, we can win this. I can’t let him get the stone, I can’t let Strange give away the stone.” “Y/N,” his voice cracks, “Y/N, we can’t get to Tony if Thanos is here. And you can’t heal him if he’s dead. Please Y/N, Strange has seen all of the scenarios and knows what has to happen in order to win.” Relenting, I slack against Peters suit. I sob into Peter, knowing this is what must be done. He is gone and for a few minutes we stand and look in shock. We, we lost, I can’t believe it’s over. I rush to Tony, my hair already beginning to glow and float as I ready my healing power. I rest my hands on his stomach and hum. It doesn’t activate my powers, but it helps me control them. As I feel my hair slowly drop back down to my shoulders, I know that it’s all done. “Anybody else hurt?” Mantis simply says, “Something’s happening.” We watch as she turns to dust in the wind. One by one our group starts to disappear. I look down at my hair, and notice it has started on me. “Peter! Peter, I’m going!” As my legs go out from under me, Peter catches me. “No, no no, Y/N. Not yet, I can’t lose you, I can’t lose my best friend.” Reaching up to touch his face, I smile up at him. “Peter, it’s ok. Don’t be sad, we’ll meet again. I love you.” Soon everything goes black. 

2023 

I opened my eyes, and I’m back on Titan. But I thought I died, or became dust? I look up at the sound of Peters voice and am tackled into a bone crushing hug from the spider-boy. “Peter! What happened? I thought I died?” He holds me tight for a minute, like he can’t believe I’m real. “Oh my god Y/N, I thought you were gone and then I feel something go wrong in me, and, and I was gone too. I can’t find Mr. Stark, or that blue lady. If they were gone too wouldn’t they be here?” At this Mr. Strange walks up to all of us. “Guys, it’s been five years since the battle here on Titan. But for us, it’s been only seconds.” We all line up behind Mr. Strange as he opens up a portal to the battlefield. I’m not sure if it’s Earth or not since it’s dark, and full of destruction. 

I use my vines to swing out of the portal and look at Peter, my “Iron Ivy” mask tucked into my suit, preferring my domino mask to the over the head mask. I fight the monsters around me, crushing them with vines and trees until I hear Peter saying that he couldn’t handle what was going on. I raced over to help him, but am beat there by a glowing woman with close cropped hair. “Hey Peter Parker, got something for me?” He hands over the gauntlet and we continue the fight, having each others backs and working in tandem. Soon everyone has their attention on Thanos and Mr. Stark. I see tony snap his fingers and Thanos disintegrates. But Tony is hurt too badly from the stones and the snap itself. I run to my mentor, “Mr. Stark, Tony. I can heal you, let me heal you. Don’t leave us, please. Peter, he needs you.” With a smile he shakes his head. “It’s time for me to go. I did what I had to and everything will be fine.” With that, I shakily let Ms. Potts and Peter say their peace. 

I am numb at the funeral. I am barely alive enough to grow a bundle of black and red roses, yellow carnations and a single sunflower to lay at Mr. Starks grave. I leave the funeral eventually though I can’t quite remember how I got home. I slid my domino mask on again. “Hey R.O.S.E, can you play all Tonys audio files?” I get nothing in response, I slide on the Iron Ivy mask and try again. This time I get broken audio. I keep trying, the audio is getting more and more distorted each time I request. I whip off the mask so I can cry without suffocating. I don’t know how long I stay like that, Peter eventually coming over to check on me, and holding me until it’s over. “Pete, I just, I just don’t understand. I could have healed him, I could have let him live. Why didn’t he let me let him LIVE?” Sniffling himself, Peter shakes his head, not sure why either. We hold each other, growing like the vines in my room, tangled together.