#ok! I'm going to ramble about this guy for a minute because I actually thought up a bit of a background for him

[grieving-angel-hopeful-demon]

Justice

[ace-disgrace-on-the-case]

GUYS I THINK I FIGURED OUT THE FILING SYSTEM FOR THE STATEMENTS IN FR3-D1

Ok so. so. As I am rapidly beginning to figure out the ARG stuff might just be important to our understanding of the overall story of TMAGP. And so I started digging through all the wonderful detective work the folks who participated did (their data and thus a decent bit of the ARG are still preserved). I'd like to draw your attention to one file in particular (I might make more posts with more ramblings as I think about more stuff but for right now):

klaus.xls is an excel sheet that they were able to dig up in the ARG which seems to contain partially corrupted data regarding, to my best guess, incidents. I was particularly interested in this file because that name came up in episode 4's transcript as the name of the person Lena had a disagreement with/seemed to be threatening. I have thoughts about this as well but it will be a separate post.

This data might actually be internal to the OIAR, and if what I'm guessing is correct, then this data actually corresponds to FR3-D1 entries! Using this, I think I've been able to dissect the case names (for example, we're going to use episode 1's magnus institute case)

CAT23RAB2155-10042022-09012024

A lot of the information on the leftmost data cluster seems to correspond to what's in the table, so:

CAT23: Category 23. There were only a few categories in the Klaus data that weren't 1, 2, or 3 so I'm guessing inputting multiple numbers means this incident could either be category 2 or category 3 (or someone thought this case needed a very very high category shared by almost nothing else).

RAB: Rank A/B. This we know means the ranking is either A or ranking B. I have not, however, managed to determine what the difference between Category and Rank is, so if someone else has thoughts on that I'd love to hear them. Based on other case titles the R is not always part of this section, only in cases where multiple rankings are specified. This also places this case very high in the ranking system, as most cases in the Klaus data appear to be rank C or B (with only a single S and two As, one of which is a dual A/B).

2155: This section is always a four digit code. It corresponds to the TSHU column of the Klaus data, which is also always a four digit code. If I had to speculate, I believe this is the internal code for the case category (which are all laid out in that giant binder on Sam's desk). I wish I knew specifically what each one meant but I figure we'll have to watch the numbers and see.

10042022: It took me a minute on these number strings, I'll be honest. There's nothing approximating them in the Klaus data, but then I noticed that the second string contains "2024" at the very end in every statement thus far recorded. Then it dawned on me: these are dates. This first string corresponds to report submission date, I think: this report was submitted to the OIAR on the 10th of April 2022. This then means that:

09012024: Corresponds to the date of filing. Sam filed this case on the 9th of January, 2024. This also allows us to go through and see that the episodes seem to be following the time passing between episodes for us almost 1:1, with most cases being a few days before when we receive them.

[wombywoo]

It occurred to me the other day that during Quinn's super turbo trauma story, his neck probably wasn't slashed but choked. And now I have more questions, because somehow I can't stop thinking about your characters. So:

Did Quinn end up having a vision during that event? (Does he get them during every near-death event, or is it more rare than that?)

How the hell did he cope being with Marc? 'Cause I'm about 90% sure that guy would have got off on choking him.

When the taskforce was created, was Quinn still in his relapse where he thought he needed his visions? Did Liz find out? How does he feel about her trying to get him to have more visions? D=

Does Vincent find out Liz is using Quinn like that, and how does he feel about it? (Does Danny find out??)

In fact, how does Vincent feel about the fact an evil vampire caused a mass dragon killing spree and this was Quinn's first vision? I get the feeling that, while Quinn tries to shrug off these coincidences, Vincent is a little more concerned. XD

Also, in your art of Quinn with Marc, the wall says 196 people will die in an ungodly tragedy. Was that the dragon killing spree or another event we have yet to hear of?

Oops. 🙈 Sorry for so many questions! I just want to know all the things. And I can't help but love all your lore drops. <3

Ok!! OK!!!!! You are feeding me so well with these tasty questions auughhh thank you for finding interest in my dumb ramblings !!!!!

There are answers under the cut (warning for some heavy topics, discussion of injuries, domestic abuse, self harm, spoilers for a story that doesn't even exist, etc)

So.

Quinn's throat was slashed. It was cut with a knife, kind of a shaky first slice, but it got deeper and went all the way across; enough force to puncture his trachea, though it didn't sever the vocal cords; he was lying on his back and couldn't move, and honestly..he didn't really feel it at the time. It was all just a very numb, surreal feeling. I won't go into suuuper specifics, but thankfully some pressure was applied to the wound right away, he was resuscitated with cpr, and he was still able to breathe despite some complications to his airway, long enough for him to receive medical treatment.

But he did black out. And he might have seen things.

It's the only vision he's had that he can't remember...

~*waves hands all vague and mysterious like~*oohooohoo

Ok! Visions! So, for the most part, Quinn needs to be medically dead, albeit temporarily, for him to have a vision. Usually, his heart has to stop for one to happen, and he's just lying there, unmoving. Like..dead, dead. This should be a rare event, but uh...he's had more than a dozen visions, I'd say....

The thing is--he always comes back. Even in the worst scenarios (ie. not breathing for more than 5 minutes) he somehow always miraculously revives with minimal repercussions (sure, there's probable brain/heart damage, but it should be way waaay worse) So, he's kind of chalked up this vague 'immortality' thing as a byproduct of the visions...more mystery...

With Marc--yeah. That was just a bad situation all around. A lot of Marc and Quinn's physical relationship revolved around their dangerous power dynamic, so um. yeah. choking was one of the things they messed around with. Quinn actually requested it at the time, out of this twisted self-harm kink he'd developed. (he's, regrettably, the worst at coping with his trauma, so uhhh he feels like he needs to push himself to that same sensation of near death just feel anything at all and uhhh it's not good, you should not do this at home kids, but he feels like strangulation is the closest he can come to feeling alive just for a brief second and yeah he's fucked up he's not good I know..)

It was consensual stuff at first, but after one of their..sessions...Marc pushed it too far, he wouldn't let go and uh. Quinn suffocated and passed out. Marc did manage to revive him, but he...died for a second there. And he had a vision--one of the first dragon attacks in France that would later lead to its occupation by [insert evil vampire terrorist group]. Marc was actually comforting him after, he was just...rubbing him and telling him he was sorry and it was ok, so in the midst of a mental and physical breakdown, Quinn divulged what he saw. And Marc took him seriously, which was also rare. And they talked about it, and...it seemed ok for once.

It was only after that he realized how Marc wanted specific details, stuff he could use to harvest information and push numbers and invest in whatever type of bullshit could make a profit out of tragedy. They carried on with their relationship, but when it came to testing their limits in the bedroom....Marc took it too far again. And Quinn had another vision--a vampire massacre in [specific french location] and 196 people died, and he was crying as he told him how he saw it all from the perspective of a child. Marc seemed eager. He asked him even more questions. But...it was fine. He was still rubbing him, being calm. And Quinn had agreed to the choking. He wanted this. It was actually helping other people if he was able to use this information somehow.

But it happened again. And again. More times... Until eventually Quinn realized he had no say in the matter anymore.

The sad thing was that he convinced himself it was out of love; Marc was very passionate, this was just his way of showing him he loved him....

It became too much...after a while....

ANyway!

So, now we're in the present when Quinn joins the task force with Vincent~

At this point in time, he's gotten help with his mental state so he no longer feels the desperate urge to harm himself and induce his visions (for the most part), and is relatively stable (sure!)

Miss Major Liz is aware of his visions, to a degree. She had mistakenly thought Quinn developed a narcotic problem when she was his CO at some point (yes, he used drugs a few times to induce visions (it was about 50/50 successful)) Most of her awareness had come from Danny, who divulged his part in Quinn's #BFF-bonding-moment4lyfe (ie, forcing his friend to assist in drowning himself. twice) So she does have knowledge of some of the...wackiness.

At this point in our tale, she hasn't done anything about it. Yet. It's a testament to how off the books she works that she hasn't forced Quinn into a psych eval that will surely bench him for the next foreseeable uuhh forever. So she's keeping that on lock.

I do think that [at some point in this potential story of mine] she will consider using Quinn's 'talents' to their benefit. She's a hard lady, not afraid to trade dirty hands for even dirtier handshakes, so there will probably be a time when she wants to take advantage of potential knowledge that can influence her agenda....

Vincent...will not take this lightly.

Honestly, this whole scenario is rife with delicious drama, so I will simmer it on low and ponder it for future conflict in the [insert novel series teehee] to come

Vincent has a lot of feelings about Quinn !!!! and his visions !!! and the evil vampire agenda !!!! Too many feelings!! But all he wants is for his boy to understand that his safety and wellbeing and life are the most important things to him, and none of that is worth trading for a small glimpse at a future that will happen anyway. Quinn...disagrees. This is also teeming with potential drama, you see...

I have a LOT more of this type of speculation, but for now, I will leave you with this dump of lore and trauma for you to sink your teeth into~

Thanks for the saucy and delicious questions <3

[witchinatree]

magnus protocol episode 29 ramble

we're so back!!! i cannot believe next week will be the last episode of the season this went by so fast

also watch dead boy detectives on netflix please i want another 100 seasons of it and it's also just really really good

anyway here we go!!! episode 29!!!!!!!! it does not feel like january was that long ago but like fuck. it was.

oh sam are you ok oh fuck he is not okay

ok he's alive that's good that's very good

he doesn't want alice to be right also gwen absolutely would care she cares so much (it is the fear)

well no because alice met it and she survived and gwen got attacked by it and she survived but i guess they wouldn't know the gwen part

feed me the institute. woah did it cut off when he thought of the hilltop centre? also celia's right do not go there

oh i'm so excited get alice there too GEORGIE MENTION anyway let's go gang this is a horrible .. ok celia you stole my thing

ohhh gwen and lena banter why does gwen hate lena so much i actually kind of love her she seems like the ideal boss

"don't call me unless it's an emergency" they're calling her later

wait. i need to pause and pull up the transcript. lost track of the numbers

the 2020 mention made me think the magnus archives

viola locke?

oh this sounds so cute like a surprise trip with a travel diary?? adorable. don't ever surprise me with a trip though i would have a heart attack not being able to know any of the plans

these guys sound so adorable what the hell

stan please don't murder her i will stop believing in love

huh. what. what. huh? gonna translate that later

i'm stressed out now can we go back to the cute old people romance

fuck i accidentally went back a few minutes LMAO

yea this is not a museum you should leave now

wait this is on lena's computer right? like gwen was on lena's computer after she left? i wonder why lena would get a statement (unless it was for gwen)

oh no they got locked in (ironic)

ohhhh it means "unlock your heart" thank u for translating for me viola

this is terrible they are too old for this

oh no. oh stan. oh no stan. wtf this is gonna make me cry

this is horrific! thanks!

alright so um. wtf.

alice!!! oh and teddy omg!!!! oh. teddy. i forgot i'm worried about him

something serious? uh oh. NOO TEDDY NOOOO DON'T DIE OH FUCK ALICE DON'T LEAVE HIM HE MIGHT ACTUALLY DIE

NO WAIT ALICE DON'T LEAVE HIM ACTUALLY AND ALSO DON'T GO JUST PLEASE HELP HIM TEDDY I'M WORRIED FOR YOU TEDDY I'M REALLY SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU

ALICE HONEY??? OH MY GOD IT'S ON THE TRAIN OH MY GOD IT'S ON THE TRAIN REST IN PEACE SAM KHALID REST IN PEACE CELIA RIPLEY

oh you. you. youuuuuuuuuu. you. you. you. you. oh . youu. you. you can't end it there. you can't end it there. you are. joking. you are. kidding.

actually tweaking out oh my holy jesus fuck

[amethystfairy1]

Hi Amethyst! It's been a hot minute since I sent an ask in, but I have been reading both fics every day (still obsessed lmao) (also I name changed btw, used to be ElenaLoo)

Anyways, I had written a whole ask waxing eloquent on all the wonderful things going on in ttsbc, but I accidentally shut off my computer partway through and frankly I can't be bothered to write it all out again lmao. Just. It's beautiful (wow isnt that so meaningful and deep? im sure you're feeling very complimented rn)

The REAL thing I wanted to talk about was Traveling thieves (which is by far my favorite fanfic of ALL TIME), and all the amazingness in ttsbc made me forget it even existed for the past few weeks. But the other day I was just like "oh yeah. Traveling thieves." and then i reread the whole thing. whoopsies.

Ummm anywyas there's so many thoughts in my head about all the little guys, but recently I've been on an Imp and Skizz obsession (just scroll on my page for .2 seconds and you'll see) and YOU. You left them on a CLIFFHANGER. >:((( (not actually mad btw). I just. so excited for them. They're out alone in the woods right now and Skizz is going to have the perfect opportunity to kill Impulse and get away and I just am falling apart thinking about them. (I drew them to cope lol, posted on my blog but also later here so that I can talk about it more). I can see this playing out a few ways. Obviously Skizz isn't actually going to kill Impulse, so he's either going to 1) make up some excuse as to why he can't do it right then, but still plans to do it eventually, or 2) he does it. but he doesn't. Skizz attacks Impulse when he's not expecting it, there's a scuffle, and Skizz comes out on top---BUT THEN HE CAN"T FINISH IT!!! and it's a whole thing where even tho skizz tried to kill him, imp is still so understanding and skizz cries and impulse just freaking gives him a hug and

sigh

Whatever you do will be beautiful, I'm sure. I think you mentioned you're switching to tt after this fic, so crossing my fingers it's imp and skizz. (Though, would also be very happy with Martyn and Ren :P) (or anything really i just love tt)

Anyways, I had the art on my blog but I'm also putting it here so i can say things about it to you

Mostly I'm just very proud of their expressions, with Impulse being all concerned glancing over at Skizz, meanwhile Skizz is completely deadpan staring forwards, also looking very tired bc he needs a break from this universe. Also I switched up my Impulse design a lil bit from last time (if u even remember that lol it was months ago now). you would think, just looking at them, that Impulse took way longer to design, but nope, I was messing around with Skizz for at least double the time, trying to figure out how to have him facing forward whilst still showing some of the scars on his back. I gave up eventually xD (all that means is that im gonna have to draw him again later, from different angles)

actually that made me remember a question I had: are you planning to ship Imp and Skizz? Ik you said Zed and Tango are going to be a thing far in the future, but... skizzpulse? plzzzz plz pretty please haha im not obsessed

aaaaaand that reminds me of another question, is skizz going to be in ttsbc? (pretty please also same question as tt, if he was in ttsbc, are him and impulse together? Im addicted to them all i care about these days is some good imp and skizz shipfics, and you're such a fantastic writer, both with plot and the vibes of the words themselves. u could write such good imp and skizz. just imagine the possibilites! (am i selling it?))

aaaaaanyways. im gonna go reread the old tt skizz fics because theyre delicious and painful, like eating knives. u have a good day :))

HIIIIIII

I ADORE THIS ART SO MUCH! I gave you all my rambles on the reblog but it's SOOOOO COOL!

I'm sad the waxing eloquent about TTSBC is gone 😭 but that's ok!

I'm so glad you're enjoying TT and all the drama going on in there! Imp and Skizz are definitely having a time and a half with all of this nonsense going on...I love all your theories! I won't confirm or deny anything of course, but I'm so happy you're excited for them!

I will not be shipping Imp and Skizz, sorry! I just personally don't ship them, so they're gonna remain platonic...I mean, in TT who knows what the hell they're doing to be fair 😆 but yeah, Zedango is going to be a thing in the distant future, but no Skizzpulse! Sorry!

Skizz is not in TTSBC at the moment, that doesn't mean he never will be! Just haven't found a spot for him yet...and no, he also would not be with Impulse, I'm so sorry I just don't ship them personally! I think it's a very cute ship tho!

Enjoy rereading the TT Skizz fics!!! Thank you again for the gorgeous art!!!! I love it!!! 💖

[sugar-omi]

Incoming ramble I wanna hear you’re thoughts on this cause it’s been on my brain for a little bit and it’s got me in my feels

K so I forget if it’s in the step 3 prologue or in the Drive moment but either way when on the topic of Cove leaving for Nevada every now and again and choosing how your MC feels about it there’s the option to choose that it makes you sad and nervous specifically because the little 8 year old in you (who remember was probably HORRENDOUSLY lonely) was scared that Cove was gonna leave and never come back

Now that option alone already gets to me (cause I relate to it hard cough cough) but just imagine the MC actually confessing to Cove about that fear!! Obviously the MC doesn’t want to make Cove stop going cause yknow he’s literally going to see his own mom but MC also can’t deny that there’s that sad lonely little kid inside their head who just doesn’t want to be left alone again so they’re kinda just stuck in the dilemma. But soon enough after feeling well enough to admit it they finally tell Cove about it and get to actually work it out!!!

It just- AUGH ITS GOT ME EMOTIONAL MAN I CANT-

cove would actually feel so relieved omg bc it makes him sad too and he misses you, ofc ik he says that no matter what but I think he also worries abt leaving n nevering coming back

very traumatized from the move after his mom n dad divorced n he tried to run away bc he missed krya, yk 😟

reassures you that he'll always come back, and that if that did happen he'd prbly try to run away to see you LOL

would offer to take you with him!!! if you're dating ofc you need to work it out w his mom a bit more than necessary but she wouldn't mind if you stayed over or came to hang out w them

I imagine krya spends a Lotta time at work anyway since she can't be on leave the entire time he visits, so she'd be relieved that he has someone to keep him conpany

he talks abt you so much anyway, it's like you're basically there w them already

if you can't or don't want to go with him, he'd video call you sm more

sends lots of pictures n texts and voice messages

tells you basically everything abt his day and sends gm and gn texts

NO VOICE MESSAGES

omg...

coves sleepy, raspy voice saying "good morning" (

sounds like this, would even call you sunshine like sonny did!!!😭😭

I'm falling apart

mmm if he's gone a long time he'd prbly even come see you, or meet you half way

which is stressful bc he has a long drive but he would bc he's crazy abt you

omg gives you a shirt of his.

BUYS MATCHING SHIRTS

omg and asks you what you're wearing every day until you say that shirt n he wears it like "omg!!! what a coincidence!!!!" babe we know u did it on purpose PLEASE

sends you flowers

n by send you flowers I mean asks his dad to pick up some flowers and deliver them to you

sends his dad money too but cliff would prbly pay for them once or twice bc he thinks this is so chge n send the money back to cove so cove is like "dad!!!" n just makes an order on his card bc his dad is so stubborn😭😭

cliff is actually in love w your guys relationship he's so happy,,, pls

I should write some hc's on how cliff feels abt you guys dating bc my man's is so happy!!!! pls. OK anyway

OMG YOU VIDEO CALL N EAT TOGETHER

will ask what you're eating n have the same thing if he can

OMG HE PICKS UP ONE TIME AND HE'S RUNNING ACROSS THE STREET N HES LIKE "WAIT DONT EAT YET I GOTTA PICK UP THE FOOD"

n you can just see his chin, the sky and then it's like kinda black n then for some reason u can see the floor and then he's like "sorry" and he starts running back to his car AGAIN

and so he delicately places the phone down n is panting n just goes, "sorry. I'm ready now" *throws his head back* "omg gimme a minute... man. climbing thru your window really came in handy"

KISSES THE SCREEN

big "mmmmwaahhh!!!"

or tiny "mweh", no in between

falling asleep on the phone too

WOULD TUCK THE PHONE IN.. OMG STOP IT

he's totally normal abt you I swear

[novelcain]

Ooooh dragon theories!!!!! I, for one really wanna hear it!

I'm a curious lad and you just mentioned one of the most universal and fascinating mythological beings. I must know what theory you have about them.

- 🐟

FINALLY I CAN ANSWER THIS NOW!!

This ask was based on another ask, which you can find here!

*SHAKES A CAN OF ROCKS*

GATHER ROUND CHILLENS! CAUSE ITS TIME FOR A SKITTLE RAMBLE!

Ok so technically I have a few theories about why dragons are so universal!

The easiest one is that humans as individuals aren't special and think alike a lot more than people want to admit which could be why we have so many repeat concepts throughout history where there was absolutely NO contact with the other cultures some even happening at similar times halfway across the world when that kind of communication wasn't possible😐... But I don't like that idea!😃 *throws it into a wood chipper and aggressive shoves the remains in a blender*

*dusts myself off* NEXT THEORY! You guys may wanna get comfortable for this one.

Now, this one may seem kinda far fetched, but I personally believe it has some merit, so stick with me here! IN FACT, this was actually going to be my college thesis before I dropped out, so I have collected a lot of evidence to support it at least being a possibility! (And in case anyone was wanting to know what I studied I majored in biochemistry and mechanical engineering and minored in psychology. If anyone wants to know more about that feel free to ask.😌 NOW BACK TO MY HYPOTHESIS!) But before we begin☝️, a question. Have any of you ever experienced a situation where you've met someone you've never known get to talking to them and realized that they've had the same wacky and insane idea as you that you've never told anyone about? Well, there's a term for! It's called ✨social consciousness✨! And because of this fascinating concept, I spent my high school and college years secretly experimenting on all my friends, family, and any stranger I was in the company of for longer than five minutes! (Ritz if you're seeing this, yes, I did use you as a test subject, but you can't be mad because you were and still are my favorite one.😁) All to push the limits of this concept in the name of science! And fear not! No humans were harmed in the making of these experiments except for that one kid in my high school college program who had an existential crisis when I discussed this theory of mine with him but that's neither here nor there. ANYWAYS! What I discovered was FASCINATING to say the least! I found that within close proximities, thoughts can to some degree be interpreted! And no I don't mean telepathy. Nothing has come out of those experiments so far BUT I'M STILL HOLDING OUT HOPE! What I mean is that all living creatures emit bioelectricity some more than others but that's besides the point and brains run on that bioelectricity! I believe that each species has a specific frequency and therefore the brainwaves of individuals might be able to be picked up on by another member of that species. Of course, for humans brainwaves can differ greatly and so also I hypothesize that it certainly helps if you have similar brainwave patterns given that some test subjects were more responsive than others but I didn’t have access to an EEG machine those cowards wouldn’t let me borrow one so I wouldn’t know for sure. A few of my finds were as follows: ~57% of the time when consistently thinking of a random tune someone else in the room will begin either humming or tapping to the same rhythm. ~82% of the time when intensely staring at someone from behind or an out of sight location they will directly turn to look at you. ~29-30% of the time when continuously thinking a certain word or action around someone they will eventually mention that they can't seem to get it off their mind lately. And there are many other data points I've collected over the years as well many other branching theories but I think you get the point I'm making. But it's probably that this point in time that you're thinking, "Skittle what the frickidy FUCK does this have to do with dragons?" And to that I ask you, if you took this theory and applied it to a very large population thinking about something all at once, what do you think would happen?🙃 I believe something every interesting would result from such a thing. Such as maybe say the transference of ideas and concepts from one culture to another even over great distances. Except with a few differences here and there to account for both culture and dilution of the transmitted concept. And this doesn’t apply to just dragons, we see similarities in religions that never even knew each other all the time. It’s incredibly interesting to think about.

Basically, if you learned anything at all from that one it's that the world should be on its knees thanking whatever cruel yet merciful god exists that I didn't continue down the path of science otherwise I'd probably be in some government lab either as a mad scientist with questionable morals or an experiment to see how far one can truly stray from sanity.

And my final theory!☝️

That dragons were a real species that might have been hunted or driven to extinction by a growing human presence. And if they were a very large widespread species found all over the world then regional differences would only be natural. That they, like many other species, adapted to their habitats. Or perhaps they are like tigers, leopards, lions, and jaguar who are all different species but are from the same genus. And if they were animals meant to fly then hollow bones would most likely be very necessary making fossilization and preservation very difficult. Paleontologists find pieces of large bones that can't be identified all the time. And fossilized eggs aren't even possible to be definitively matched to a species. We could have been staring at the answer for decades and we'd never know it.

Me trying to explain my theories in a manner that makes sense:

[squill79]

The Gay Kid

None of the other kids like me. They always make fun of me for being gay. I’m sure there are other gay kids in my school, but I’m THE gay kid. The only one who’s actually out. My name is Hunter, but most of the other kids refer to me with one of their endless supply of homophobic slurs. I thought by now we’d be over this, gay people exist, who cares? Guess my school still lives in the stone age. I haven’t told any school faculty. I don’t want them telling my parents. Plus, I’ve kinda gotten used to it by now. It’s more annoying than anything else. This morning I went to get my Spanish books. There was a penis drawing in my locker again. Hilarious. Suddenly, I felt something hit the back of my neck. “Ow!”, I yelled. I turned around and saw none other than Brandon Wallace. Brandon used to be my friend, or at least I thought he was. I thought I could trust him. He’s the only person I ever told I was gay, and he spread it around quicker than I could blink.  

“What’s up, hada?” He said to me.  

“What?” 

“Hada, that’s Spanish for fairy.” 

“Oh, did you look that up because you were thinking about me?” 

“Pfft, you wish, queer.” 

Brandon’s such a jackass. He has this obnoxious clique of annoying straight guys. Well, them and his girlfriend, he’s the only one to actually have one. She’s just as much of a bimbo as he is, laughing along with his squad about his “sick burns”.  

“You’re so funny, babe!”, she always says that. 

“Funny enough to take to the winter dance?”, real smooth. 

“Oh babe, of course!”, bleh. They then made out for like... an entire uninterrupted minute. Gross.  

“Get a room!”, I yelled. They ignored me. 

After they finally stopped, Brandon turned over to me and said, “See Hunter, this is what you can’t have!” 

“Why would I want that?”, I asked. He couldn’t answer since they went back to making out. 

I eventually got to Spanish class. I sit in the front row of the class. I don’t like being in the middle of all the other kids. “Hola class.”, my teacher, Professor Stevenson said as class began. “We have a new estudiante today!”, a kid in the back got up and walked to the front of the class. “¿Cómo te llamas?” 

“M-me llama Tyler.”, he responded. He seemed nervous. He was shaking and had a bit of a stutter. Kinda felt bad for him. Must be tough being a new kid, especially in senior year. “I’m uh... eighteen y-years old and I umm... w-well I just wanna learn.”, how inspired.  

“Well that’s great, Tyler. Muy bien.”, Professor Stevenson said as Tyler went back to his desk. He proceeded to teach the class as normal. 

I bumped into someone when exiting class that day. “Oops, I-I'm sorry.”, he said.  

“It’s no big deal.”, I replied. I then realized that the person I bumped into was Tyler. 

“Oh, it’s you from S-spanish class!” 

“My name is Hunter.” 

‘Right... you’re uh...” 

“Hunter.” 

“The gay kid?" 

“That’s what they call me.” 

“I umm... I know you d-don’t know me and that I’m new but uh... w-would you want to go to the winter dance with me? I... I’m sorry I sh-shouldn’t have asked. It’s just that all the other kids kept telling me that you’re gay and I-” 

I pondered his question as he kept on rambling. He’s a little awkward and I don’t really know him all too well, but he’s kinda cute. Plus, there are barely any other queer kids in my school, so my options are kinda limited. “Sure.”, I answered him. “Why not?” 

“Oh... oh w-wow thanks. Ok umm... we can m-meet here outside the school. Sorry I can’t pick you up, I don’t have a car.” 

“No worries, I don’t either. I’ll see you this Saturday.” 

“Yeah I-I’ll see you then.”, he said as he awkwardly skuttled away. For the first time in a while, I was actually a little excited for something.  

Saturday night, my parents were helping me get ready for the dance. “You look so good, sweetie!”, my mom told me. “This girl is gonna be so happy to see you, what’s her name again?”  

“It’s... Taylor. And thank you.” 

“Are you sure we don’t need to pick her up? Does she have a ride?”, my dad asked. 

“She has a ride, but thanks dad.” 

“Alright, good luck tonight, champ. Remember to be polite to her... but also be yourself.” 

“I don’t think I can be both of those things at the same time.” Both of my parents chuckled. 

“Make sure to call if you need anything.”, my mom told me. 

“I will, thanks mom.”  

My parents left the room so I could finish preparing. I walked downstairs to go to the bathroom when I overheard a conversation between them. “I’m so glad he finally has someone to go to a dance with.”, my mom said. “He’s such an outcast, I was worried he’d never find a girlfriend.” 

“Well, it must be hard for him.”, my dad replied. “He’s not interested in sports like most of the other boys probably are. He’s into books and anime and whatever. It’s hard for a boy like him to find the right crowd.” Gee thanks you guys. It’s great knowing that me having a “girlfriend” is so important to them. 

My dad drops me off at the school. I arrived before Tyler, so I had to wait outside for a few minutes for him to show up. He eventually arrives wearing a T shirt with sweatpants. And to think I dressed up in a fancy suit just for him. I didn’t tell him this though. Like my parents said, I didn’t want to be rude. “S-sorry I’m late.”, he said as he walked up to me. 

“No worries.”, I told him. We walked inside and I instantly felt butterflies in my stomach. Not really because of Tyler, at least not him specifically. This is the first time I’ve been seen with another guy in a semi-romantic setting. “I hope nobody stares at us.”, I said to Tyler. I was already bullied for being gay, I didn’t want it to get any worse. 

“Oh... I’m sure it won’t be that bad.”, Tyler replied. Odd that he didn’t seem so nervous about that. I guess it must be easier when you’re not the only one. It is nice to be hanging with another gay kid. I’ve been getting sick and tired of being surrounded by a bunch of heteros.  

We enter the cafeteria where the dance takes place. Me and Tyler walk in holding hands. I caught a couple of people giving us awkward looks but it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. “Let’s get some snacks and then we can dance.”, I told Tyler. 

“Sure... l-let's do that.” 

We both ate for a few and drank some punch. We didn’t really talk much in that time. A few kids walked past us whispering homophobic slurs. Nothing I’d never heard before, I just ignored them. After a little while I asked Tyler if he wanted to dance. “Let me ju-just go to the bathroom first.”, he answered. I waited about a minute for him to come back. 

“You ready now?”, I asked when he got back.  

“Y-yeah, I am.”, he responded.  

We began to slow dance to a soft romantic song. It was nice, actually. He’s not a bad dancer. We swayed for a few minutes. Eventually, however, I saw Brandon and his dumb clique behind Tyler. They were staring at us and laughing menacingly. I really didn’t feel like dealing with them. “Hey Tyler, we should lea-” Before I could finish my sentence, Tyler shoved be into the punch bowl. I was soaking wet and the juice got in my eyes. I eventually opened them to find everyone in the room staring at me, with Brandon and his gang front and center, along with Tyler. “What the hell?” 

“D-did I do good?”, Tyler asked Brandon.  

“You did great man, that was hilarious.”, Brandon answered. He then turned and pointed to me. “That’s what you get for being mildly snarky to me!” 

I looked at Tyler with contempt. “Why? Why would you do that?”  

“H-hey, I just wanted to get in with the c-cool kids. It’s nothing personal.” 

“You don’t have to be nice to him, Tyler.”, Brandon said to him. “Queers like him are always emotional.”  

I stood up and punched him right in the face, much to everyone’s surprise. “Queers like me will always bring more to this world than jackasses like you. You may have your little gang following you around and worshipping you now, but once high school is over, you’ll be nobody. Your existence will be a blip in all of our lives, best case scenario. So have fun with that.” I then left the room. He didn’t say anything, I think he was still in shock from me punching him. I went outside and called my dad to ask him to pick me up.  

“Everything alright?”, he asked. I think he could tell by my voice that it didn’t turn out well. 

“Yeah... I’m fine dad.” 

“Did she break your heart, son?” 

I began to answer. “She-”, I then paused for a moment. “He broke my heart, dad.” 

“He?” 

“Yeah... I’m sorry I never told you I was jus-” 

“It’s alright son, it really is.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. It’s ok.”  

I shed a tear as I looked up to the night sky. “Thanks dad.” 

[captorcorp]

ok im rambling about my thoughts on tadc bc i have many (long post)

ok first of all general character opinions with walk cycle gifs to break up the walls of text (gifs from here):

caine: the silly guy... literally why red recommended this to me was the digital world setting + an ai character and they know me too well because every ai character is my favorite by default. i'm very excited to see what we end up learning about him throughout the series, also i absolutely love that he was inspired by AM from ihnmaims but 'if he was a silly little guy instead of fueled by hate' or whatever the creator said about him. his weird head design is really creative though it does discomfort me a bit sometimes, something about the combination of eyes and teeth;;; still think he's kinda tumblr sexyman coded besides the teeth head but most people are too distracted with objectifying jax so he gets a pass

pomni: she's cool!! it's hard to form a solid view of her so far bc most of what we've seen is her being understandably overwhelmed with and O.O at everything, but she seems like she'll be a pretty interesting protag - i liked them showing her moments of weakness with leaving ragatha behind too. that being said i think she stretched out the 'omg this isn't real what's going on???' freaking out bits way too long but that's just a personal gripe with that sorta stuff in media like this. if i was isekai'd into the digital circus i would simply be so chill about it after only 5 minutes of panic. rip to pomni but i'm different /j oh yeah also a fun character design even though i don't really like clowns she's just very Shaped

jax: motherfucker. jk i actually don't feel that strongly about him i just find him slightly annoying at times. at first i thought 'oh ok he's a loveable asshole yeah he's kinda entertaining so he's cool' and then he just ended up being more asshole than loveable. also thought he was sexyman coded and was unfortunately right this time ^^; apparently he's the creator's fave too?? so hopefully he doesn't get away with too much stuff without consequences, or he's gotta actually get some positive traits yknow. however i do love his design with the big grin and semicircle eyes and etc, very cartoony and fun. if the controversial blorbo poll was still open i would submit him bc it seems like the fandom is split on him. but also kinda tired of him from fandom overexposure

ragatha: she's really nice and i want to be her friend - looking forward to seeing where her character goes in the future though, bc we've only seen her being polite and forgiving and sweet and etc, and i think she should be allowed to kill people /hj. it was cool seeing her get glitched too even if ;-;. i was never into raggady ann stuff like i've heard the creator is but her design is still cute too, even if less surreal than some of the others ^^

bubble: keep forgetting this guy exists, not a huge fan tbh? gets some points for being another ai though. looks like a chain chomp. i do like that they're able to be popped and respawn though, that's a fun quirk. the scene with them cleaning up after pomni is p gross

kinger: i barely thought about this guy during the pilot tbh so was surprised to see the fandom all adoring him. kinda just reminds me of fear from inside out. but actually overexposure of him from tumblr and other people enjoying him kinda made him grow on me a bit (reverse of what has been happening w jax). he's pretty cool to me now. i can't believe fandom already gave him a tragic backstory with that queen chesspiece we see crossed out...

zooble: another character i didn't really think about, though i like their design and detachable body parts and such. i also couldn't really get a good sense of their personality tbh? i think they just need more screentime honestly

gangle: i wanted to like her a lot more than i did when i first saw her bc her design is very fun, with the ribbon-based body and comedy/tragedy masks and etc. but ended up not getting too interested in her as a character. but i think she's in the same category as zooble where she needs more screen time and character development though? bc she still seems like she could be cool if her personality gets explored more

thoughts on the overall pilot:

ngl i have a whole bunch of gripes about it despite also rotating it in my mind. i feel like a lot of the characters are a little 1-dimensional currently, even if i do find those dimensions appealing for the most part, hoping they get more characterization in the actual main season though. also most of the pacing/jokes didn't really land for me or felt a bit forced, though there were some good bits like king's hands following zooble's head, pomni opening doors to surreal scenes like the bathing mannequin, jax getting choked by zooble's hand, the randomly generated 5-letter names, also any of the cartoony imagery gags like the censor bars or cartoon dust cloud of gloinks.

however, overall i enjoyed it still!!! all of the animation has so much charm and character to it, surreal semi-human character designs are always great, it's very colorful and bright and reminiscent of old early 2000s activity center games, etc. it gives me kinda 'welcome home' vibes, with both being bright and cheery exteriors meant to mimic old media style that mask darker stuff under the surface. also the general plot of like. people being trapped in this weird setting and forced to participate in fucked up (?) games by some mysterious mastermind (well we know who the mastermind is but not much about him) while struggling to escape or understand why they've been trapped here... very common plot but always is intriguing to me. also of course [holds digital worlds and ais in my hands] my beloved tropes...

thoughts on the fandom:

i am. concerned. that there seems to be an overlap with the h*zb*n h*t*l fandom;; but also i don't know anything about that show's status besides like. callout posts about the creator and people complaining about the pacing/character designs and etc. so i don't really know if all of the hh fans is bc it's like, also an animated series that appeals to the same audience? or if it's going to be too similar or inspired from it or also have a problematic creator somehow 😔

otherwise it's whatever, maybe a bit on the :I side bc i already saw someone make a y*nd*r* jax imagine post and it scared me hjkdfs. otherwise mostly just usual fandom stuff i think? dunno.

actually nevermind i just got back from twitter and apparently the creator is already feeling :/ about their own fandom and apparently people on tiktok are hcing some fucked up stuff about jax so. can fans be normal for 2 seconds please.

[lonesomedotmp3]

watched more bmw ok we're so close we're inching towards the finish line here... couldn't incessantly liveblog because my phone was charging so: 1. shawn was sucking and fucking like crazy while on the road we just didn't see it because it wasn't relevant to cory's journey etc 2. resurrection is PROBABLY the best if not 2/3rd best episodes of the season even if it just more ridiculous angst it does sort of work in conjunction with chet's death and eric moving out and tommy and shawn coming back etc etc this season is stupid angsty misogynistic mess but at least it did sort of come together at the end? maybe they were just trying to lead it all to that point which is why certain narratives are so forced sometimes 3. eric being perceptive and knowing his friends and being good with kids <3 it's such a bummer the way it goes but I actually like the premise of him moving out and rachel and jack literally not knowing what to do with themselves anymore without him! like when he takes that stupid rubber duck with him last minute and flashes them a smile and it's like oh. this place is nothing if he's not there to bring life to it.... ugh. eric :( 3.5. jack and rachel saying they don't want anything to change and eric going you guys don't get it already has changed it will never be the same again... like again he's the only one who understood the way these relationships mattered he's smart!! and jack and rachel just fundamentally don't Get It because well they don't really fucking like each other that much... also ummm what if you can never ever ever go back :// 4. I forgot this the choice of name for the baby was between JOSHUA and DANIEL... are you kidding... the worst guy you know vs the chillest ambiguously gay person you've ever met... I've NEVER met a fictional daniel I didn't like... amy calling him joshua altered the whole course of his life I'm convinced that's why he does all those things later on... if he was called daniel the world would be so different.... 5. I have the craziest mixed opinions on the corpanga storyline that episode... on the one hand cory shut the fuck up on the other oh my godddd let's talk about weird hopeful silly topanga... BUT the writers being like booo you're too serious and responsible now what happened to you you used to be weird and cool 🙄 THAT WAS YOU!!! TONY YOU CHOSE TO DO THAT. anyway that's it I'm done I'm sure most of you won't read this I thought it was more efficient to make these like seven posts just one long ramble. we're over the biggest hurdle though the next episode is the first legit silly one in like.five hundred years....

[princekirijo]

Since you've been talking about Riku quite a bit lately I was just wondering - are there any of your mutuals' ocs that you think he would get along well with?

Alright I've been putting this off for like. Two months now because I've been really nervous about it (a good nervous) but fuck it I'm just gonna get this done!!!

OK so the short answer is yes. I'll be 100% honest whenever a mutual posts about their OC I am IMMEDIATELY thinking about how they'd vibe with Riku. I can't help it I think about him 24/7 and to be honest I think it's actually a fun exercise that helps build up characters to imagine how he'd get on with other people.

The longer answer is tough because I don't want to ramble on too long and also I feel. silly. enough so I'm gonna just limit it to a few of my mutuals OCs. Readmore cause this got kinda long but also let me say that you should absolutely check out all the OCs I mentioned because they're so cool and well thought out and just amazing :]

So the first one is Nico (latenitewaffles) OC Katsuro Sanada who has been spinning around in my head ever since Nico introduced him. He's such a cool guy and I get excited whenever Nico posts about him!! Katsuro is an Akishinji kid so obviously with Riku being a Yukamitsu kid, these two would have grown up together. I think they'd balance each other pretty well!! From what I know of Katsuro he's a pretty chilled low energy dude, which honestly Riku needs because that boy is like a comet. Full of energy fr fr. I feel like Riku would have also had a much better time as a kid because he would have had someone very close to his age as a friend. There would be a period of time where the two would be in Kosei together and unfortunately I feel like they wouldn't spend much time together because Riku would have shut himself off from everyone while he was dealing with Hatanaka's bullshit and at the same time Katsuro had all the stuff with Nakada going on too. They'd def make it up to each other afterwards though :] Also Riku 🤝 Katsuro -> having weird ass dreams involving moons and coffins and green skies.

The second one I'm picking I'm cheating a little and picking two of Rui's (wildcard-rumi) OCs Tobei and Aki! If you wanna read more about them I'd highly recommend Rui's fic its so so good. I know there's more OCs in their Persona group but these would be the two I know most about. I think Riku would vibe with them pretty well too!! I know Tobei dislikes being pitied for his illness and I think Riku would kinda get that. He'd have to stop himself from checking in on him every two minutes because he just really cares about his friends but I think Riku would definitely encourage him to try new things, although maybe his high energy might overwhelm Tobei a bit... As for Aki well Riku would honestly vibe with him so much, he'd probably beg Aki to get him to teach him skateboard tricks... only for him to fail spectacularly because he was way too over enthusiastic about it. Also I found it kinda funny there's a place in the fic called Riku Park which is connected to the Labyrinth (which is the Shadow world of Rui's fic) and I think Riku would constantly refer to it as his park and would probably try and convince people he bought it. Just to see the look on their faces 💀

The third one then I'm picking is Asuka Misty (misty-wisp) OC! Another OC I've been rotating in my brain since Misty dropped this fic with her. Initially I think Asuka would be weary of Riku. Cause like Asuka is a very anxious person (for good reason too girl's going through it) and Riku is well. Riku "is anyone gonna rush head first into this dangerous situation" then doesn't wait for an answer Kirijo. However, I think because Asuka is really good at reading people, she'd probably be one of the few people to pick up on the fact that Riku's ego is just a front for how insecure in himself he actually is and eventually I think they'd be good friends :] Also I'm pretty sure Asuka gets on very well with Ann and well Riku gets on extremely well with Ann so the three of them would vibe well with Ann acting as kinda the middle ground between the two.

OK I think that's like. The main ones I can think of where I know enough about the OC to talk about the potential Riku dynamic. A few honorable mentions would be (yusuke-of-valla) Alto's OC Ryuko, both her and Riku are theatre kid nerds and would probably sing + gush about Musicals together, Gabe (elijah-terry) OC Yuuha again they both love dancing so they'd vibe with that and also they have a black mask AU and thats all I can think of for now. I know there's other OCs I'm missing so I'm really sorry about that >.< But this was a really fun ask to think out thank you anon :] and I hope I did all my mutuals' OCs justice....

[everybodyshusband]

Ok so I'm not really back to normal but I'm gonna ignore my tummy for a couple minutes in favour of talking to you because I've been dying to send another ask after your wonderful responses!!!

I'll send it in sort of bullet points bc idek if anything I'm saying is even coherent and this might be easier for you to understand? (Or it might not, I'm sorry) In my brain everything makes sense but then sometimes when I say it out loud or write it it's like "what the hell is she saying rn?" So here I go:

- that bit you wrote about swiss and Copia with the soap and swiss stops swearing even when not regressed... oh, it has my heart... Poor baby, I hope Copia makes it up to him with lots of cuddles! I can imagine them laying in bed, Swiss with his head on Copia's chest, as Copia kisses his forehead/hair/nose/whatever he can reach, and promises it's never going to happen again over and over until swiss believes him and eventually falls asleep... (He even drools a little in his sleep, but don't tell him shhhh)

- I understood what you meant about the part I thought I didn't understand in the rain fic! Ugh every time I read that fic I just wanna give him the biggest hug my poor baby... Their dynamic in that fic is so "it's rotten work" 'not to me, not if it's you' I'm screaming and sobbing about it 😭🥹😍

- I will literally always enable you to ramble about any of your fics! Anything! I'm interested!!! I promise!!!! Anything you want to bring up??? Guess what!? I'm all ears!!! Always!!

-not gonna lie I felt pretty shitty all day bc of my tummy (and still do) but your super sweet responses and thinking about sending you an ask kept me a bit motivated (and distracted from the fact that tomorrow is Monday and I gotta work 😭) so thank you!

- I wanted to ask if there's a specific fic that's close to your heart or one that you like a bit more or one you wish got more attention? Because I'll get my greedy lil paws all over it in like 2 seconds flat and start discussing it... I think I've read everything you've posted but I wanna hear your thoughts on your own stuff too!! 💓💓💕💗💗💖💖💗

You're probably sleeping rn and you'll probably see this tomorrow so I hope you slept well and the day ahead is good to you! 🩷

ooh, my darling anon, i've been hoarding this and all your other asks for much, much too long, i am so, so sorry !!! please know i love and appreciate each and every one of your kind words, even if it takes me a very long time to respond 💙

under the cut because of length, haha :'D

i hope that by now your tummy has settled down a bit, i'm sorry this bout of stomach issues seemed to hit you so hard :0 (oh, and don't worry ! your asks always make perfect sense, my friend !!)

don't worry, after the incident, copia makes sure to give soooo much extra love and care to swiss. that ghoul is not escaping those cuddles from copia without plentiful doses of extra love and chaste forehead, cheek and nose kisses, haha !! copia is so very willing to reassure swiss that he's safe and that it won't happen again, you're right (and you're also very right in that swiss drools right onto copia's papal vestments, but not to worry, the stain comes out ...eventually)

ah !! i'm glad it's making more sense now :D i have a chronic case of the "does not write the things in his head into the actual fic" haha !! i agree that rainy deserves all the hugs in the world, it's a very icky headspace for the poor little guy to be in and he deserves so many hugs for doing his best to navigate it. whether or not he accepts the hugs though is another story entirely...

again, i hope your tummy is feeling better by now. or maybe it's been long enough that you've cycled around into another rough patch ? ooh, i hope not. but either way, i'm sending you so many good tummy vibes, hehe <3 (and maybe you'll take solace in the fact that as i'm answering this, tomorrow is a wednesday rather than a monday ?)

ooooh, that's difficult, haha !! the rain fic you mentioned before is the one that's closest to my heart at the moment, i think. but i'm also quite attached to my most recent ficlet with regressed aeon and zephyr because oh my goodness, i love their dynamic and i want to explore it as much as i can, hello ?!? and then on the complete other side of the spectrum i'm very proud of this t4t raindrop filth, haha !! i think because they're all my newest works i haven't had the time to build up an "ew, what was i thinking !??!" response to them, so i'm still feeling very good about these three. and by the looks of it, other people seem to like them as well, which is a nice bonus :)

thank you very much again for your lovely asks, anon 💙 they make me smile and brighten my day every single time i look at them !! i hope life has been treating you well, my dear, and i hope that you have a wonderful day/night depending on where you are in the world 💙

[thepetiteninja]

Welcome to 2024

Hello again!

My most recent post was from 4 years ago. And so much had happened since, so I guess it's time for another update. I'm writing this for me who will be reading this entry after a few years, maybe when I remember to dig up my old tumblr account again just because I felt like reminiscing.

So anyway, I'm turning thirty this year. That hasn't sunk yet because more than anything — I'm getting married this year too. It's still to the guy I have been writing about years before. We're turning 9 years this 2024, and are tying the knot this October. He proposed to me two years ago. On top of the Singapore Flyer, 11.11.22. Damn, what a date.

But the past few years weren't all about butterflies and happiness. These past few years were actually some of the worst ones of my life so far. I'm in debt. But fortunately on a good payment plan now that I haven't missed. I risked a really good job to pursue hosting full time — that only lasted for 3 months. Then shifted industries because I wanted to still give myself a chance. And so now I'm still hosting but for e-commerce livestreams. Got promoted twice in a year. I'm now a trainer. But I still do copywriting on the side because it makes good money. At least now I've flipped it up. Doing my passions full time then writing on the side. I'm tired though, to tell you the truth.

Mind-wise, I'm confident. I know what I can bring to the table and what I'm capable of. I don't second guess myself too much now. I still work hard and multi-task. I know my worth. I know my strengths. I learned my lessons well. I've been through difficult times and now I've gained stability. I know I'm ready to fly. In a smarter, more mature way.

Life-wise could be better. Because the wedding is right around the corner, everything I'm earning is being poured to it. So you can say I'm still living paycheck to paycheck after all the great things I take pride on. I'd like to think I've planted a lot of seeds that I'm just waiting to harvest soon. Hopefully the wedding turns out great, so I could finally enjoy the fruits of my labor completely. To be honest tonight, dinner was just a pack of pancit canton and cup noodles. It's petya de peligro and I don't know where to get tomorrow's fare to work. But I'll get by. After a day, salary's gonna come. I really hope it gets so much better soon.

So these things, y'know. It's entirely great but minutely terrifying. And every single time God proves to me that there's guidance from above. You won't believe how many conveniently unexpected blessings I've gotten over the past tumultuous years. I can't even comprehend how I've weathered through all the moments I worried about. But I'm here, sitting on my couch, safe, satiated, typing whatever comes to mind. It's these reflective, peaceful pauses that makes you realize that despite the chaos, I'm actually okay. Barely breathing but pushing on.

I'd like to think future me who would be reading this somehow, someday, would look at me and say: "just wait, it's going to be better". Because I would be saying the same thing to myself who started this blog 10+ years ago. It had gotten so much better. Crazier, but better. I wish future me would say, "babe, we're a millionaire". But more importantly would love her to say, "we still love what we do". No matter what that looks like.

So there. I think that's an ample update about how I am now. And hopefully in a few years tumblr would still be here so I'd be able to read all this again. It's a good self-therapy shit. And also I just missed writing my thoughts like this.

Ok, I'm just rambling now. Until the next update!

[thekittyokat]

ooough now i'm embarrassed . but c'mere i'll explain my silly thoughts anyways

first of all, if you haven't seen chirin no suzu / chirin's bell, i highly implore you to give it a watch! it's right here on youtube and it's only around 45 minutes plus credits - it's a 1978 sanrio (yea hello kitty sanrio) film about a lamb and how the path of vengeance changes you

ok this is probably gonna be rambly and stupid so the rest of my thinking is going under the cut >>>

in my mind hoffman's more thematic narrative has ALWAYS been about the ways grief and anger warps even those with good intentions (it's important to me that he starts out that way, which is another reason why saw 3D is so ass trying to shove in gibson and this idea that hoffman was already a bad guy when we KNOW that isn't the case) (and why i love the second video game's tidbit about tapp seeing hoffman as kind of shy, and "too straight-and-narrow to bend the rules")

(obviously acab but whatever we have to have some suspension of disbelief with these things since saw REALLY just picks and chooses when to say something about police brutality lmao)

the point is he was a good man! he thought he was doing the right thing! then his baby sister is murdered and the system he's sworn himself to upholding just up and fails her? where's the justice in that? how is that fair?

so he decides to take matters into his own hands. and that would be the action that kicks off his spiral into becoming more beast than man, and his subsequent downfall

that was a long way to sum up my feelings about the themes of mark hoffman, the seeking revenge, the vigilante justice, the self-destructive spiral, the descent into madness, the loss of humanity

(john kramer actually sums this up himself in the rehabilitation scene- "Vengeance can change a person. Make you into something you never thought you were capable of being.")

naturally when presented with an old film i very much care for that has something- not similar, maybe just reminiscent to say, of course i'm gonna get way into my feelings about this stupid fictional man again

now if you haven't watched chirin's bell but you're still reading this and don't care about being spoiled for a *checks calculator* 46 year old movie then ESSENTIALLY it's about this lamb named chirin whose mother is murdered by a wolf named woe (she died protecting him)

and his response to this is to decide he's going to approach woe, and get him to TRAIN chirin to become a wolf

(specifically, he wants to become a wolf so that he can kill woe- and he says as much)

it actually takes until chirin accidentally crushes some bird eggs while trying to protect them from a snake and gets very distraught over it for woe to finally agree to take him on as a student and i'm j. i just.

i'm just saying it's one of the bits i'm making a fun comparison to in my mind. because it's sort of chirin's first "kill" and woe finally pays him some attention to tell him that this is a necessary part of life and that if chirin uses his frustration and grief he can hone some fangs of his own and live like a wolf

(something something live or die make your choice)

anyways this bit strikes me because YEAH. yeah. john kramer quite literally does weaponize hoffman's grief. it's like super fucking important in that it showcases how kramer manipulates every one of his apprentices in unique ways to ensure that they believe his methods of "rehabilitation" (this word choice is so purposeful) are morally just and correct

he's a textbook cult leader that way. but that's a whole other post

back to chirin- he does actually find his fangs, but like woe said it's not in the way he expects (he undergoes a whole transformation and gets cool horns)

and in the process he's even abandoned his original goal of killing woe because he thinks of him as a beloved mentor and father figure now

ok now we're very much getting into my personal headcanons but you're the one reading my personal rambly saw post so if you haven't tapped out already i assume you're on board with my hoffman agenda

anyways i personally really like the idea that hoffman DID genuinely start to care about john, just like amanda did. there's something buzzing incessantly around in my brain about the fact that kramer chose amanda and hoffman, who are very alike, who are very much like siblings, and who are both people who don't have father figures

(correct me if i'm wrong because it's been a while but i'm pretty sure amanda got her abusive father arrested when she was a child; her story was tragic from the start) (with mark we know angelina was "his only family" and their different last names + huge age difference w this fact is hm... i like the theory that they were in the foster system)

sorry i warned you guys this would be rambly. i have a bad habit of going off on tangents and a LOT of feelings about the apprentices being the sopping wet little manipulated stray cats they are

#1 jigsaw apprentices apologist. sue me

so, woe's final test for chirin is to take him back to the farm where he comes from and kill all of the sheep who live there i don't have much to say in regards to my comparison for this bit but all you need to know is that chirin witnesses a mother sheep protecting her child, is reminded of how his own mother did the same, and decides he can't go through with the slaughter

now we're coming up on where this wraps back around to my agenda. grips you

woe tells him he's going to show him how to get the job done and in his moment of distress, chirin charges woe, once again invigorated to protect the innocent, declaring that this is for his mother

and chirin kills woe

(woe's reaction gets me the most. man.)

thing is... the sheep don't exactly welcome chirin back, and this right here is another scene that makes me think of mark hoffman and fuckin oouuughhh. ough. i have so muhc to say. the way i want art of him centered around these lines so badly

LIKE? LIKE DO YOU UNDERSTAND? do you see my vision for my hoffman characterization yet. do you get it. shakes you. shakes you. bites you. do you fw me or not

anyways. okay we're getting to the end here. i've hit the photo limit so many times making this post but we're in the home stretch now please bear with me

chirin returns to the mountain alone, now having no place with wolf nor sheep, condemned to a life of a solitude with no one but himself to blame. a familiar story

the way that chirin grieves for woe the same way he grieved for his mother always strikes me

his remorse for his actions is another thing that reminds me of hoffman and i might lose you here (if i ever had you to begin with) but i really and truly do believe that hoffman regrets getting kramer killed (amanda too if i'm being really ill about it but you can ignore me on this i just like the jigsquad a lot)

and it could be because he just doesn't have a teacher to lean on anymore and keeps making worse and worse mistakes, until he's stopped caring about his wellbeing or even his anonymity, going full mask-off in saw 3D because nothing fucking matters anymore, he knows he's never going back to a normal life, and it's clear he wanted that at LEAST up to his flashback in saw V ("How many next times are there gonna be?" "However many there needs to be.")

but i like to imagine it's more than that, because whether intentional or not (likely not) i love to overanalyze characters' minute mannerisms and man.

it's hard not to feel like hoffman grieved for john

i think his biggest sin was that he cared too much, right up until the end, and that it was always going to be his undoing

hough. chirin no suzu mark hoffman . remind me to say something intelligent about this whjen i wake up

[6okuto]

BRUH I REALLY WISH I DIDNT ASK FOR MICAH YUJIN IN ANON FKDNXKDNXK Okay anyways HIII I USED TO BE AN ANON HERE BUT NOW I HAVE AN ACC HAHA FEAR ME /j...unLESS-- OK ANYWAYS pls share that discord u talked abt!!! i wanna joinnnnn AND ALSO A PART 2 FOR MICAH OUR KING????? YES P L E A S E

— micah yujin boyfriend hcs 2

don't worry guys this one was not as long. (part 1 here !) also wow. a past anon..wow. heyy 😍 and the discord link is on the official itch.io page i think but !!

https://discord.gg/Smhppc7J :]

always sends you funny posts/videos he finds and makes sure to react to each one you send Him

^ has and will continue to send you videos where the 12 year old kid is matching initials as soulmates and you show up.

sends you pics of skrunkly (and him) basically on a daily basis. always captions it something stupid (/affectionate)

^ combining these two to discuss cat trends that you keep sending him so he goes OH THAT'S A GOOD IDEA

micah loves doing chores with you!! grocery shopping, Laundry And Taxes, etc etc. #QUALITYTIME i get it. you might not be Quick with him around but it's fun so i consider it a win

^ wants to try cooking new meals with you, especially any of your own cultural food ! if you can't cook then he Will offer to teach you

if you give him any jewelry he won't take it off (said by girl who does the same thing)

do(n't) play co-op horror games with him. will go in guns blazing then start yelling and running to you when he inevitably gets in trouble. actually pretty good when he tries but he doesn't try so what do we do now🤨

^ if you're playing a competitive team game and he's on your team,, there's a good chance micah will Sacrifice Himself very dramatically. if you sacrifice yourself he swears on your life to avenge you

would be very much (sends random text at 3am) (you respond) (wow i cant believe you're Awake?)

you must have a build-a-bear date. it is Necessary. personally i'd get sonic and tails together but you guys do you?

trying to get up in the morning w this guy...one of you is definitely not letting go and repeatedly asking for 5 more minutes until you're inevitably in bed for another hour

there's multiple times where you come home and find him hugging something of yours fast asleep. sorry. i am so sad

shakes you violently. do his makeup. sit on his lap and do his makeup. make him sit somewhere and stand in between his legs and do his makeup. do it . do i

micah is very good at knowing when he should be serious . if he knows you've had a bad day he does everything he can to make you comfortable and remind you he loves you — snacks, cuddles, watching the show you guys always watch, rambling so you can just listen, bringing skrunkly over, etc etc o(-(

currently imagining someone performing on the street, micah bowing and offering a hand, and saying "would you offer me this dance, your highness?" like i will burst into tears rn

i think when he hears an animal he repeats the sound. sorry this isn't boyfriend specific but like a bird cawing and him cawing back. meows at stray cats. you stopped walking 3 minutes ago and micah is still crouching on the ground trying to get its attention

he was not kidding about the maid dress thing. the Real trick is to show up in a matching maid dress/butler outfit. is micah frozen in place staring at you,, maybe

you know those stuffy riders. the mall animal rides. i'm not even going to finish this thought you know what you need to do.

grabs your shoulders and says smth like you're my ride or die before going on big carnival rides. like..thank you. makes some kind of competition out of it (who screams the most/least, etc etc)

^ makes little jokes about those couples in lines but would be that couple with you. "we're the exception, obviously."

have you seen that guy's abs. anyways. micah doing the push up kiss thing. you cheering him on because he "gets way stronger" when he knows his angel is there

if you dye your hair to match his/skrunkly he will explode. might cry a little idk

doesn't realize it sometimes but he stands in front of you to block the sun when it's super sunny

if you hurt yourself he kisses wherever it is. goodnight

bites u /affectionate

not to act like some old married couple or anything but he Will ask if you want to watch like, home renovation shows together. which i love btw. he gets very opinionated

uses the reversible octopus plushies

if you're sitting next to each other and micah notices you're tired he'll wordlessly pull your head to lay against his shoulder

would use one of those apps where you can send each other notes/drawings as a widget. will he write a cheesy pun or draw a penis That Is Not Up To Me

[bluewinnerangel]

Harry and Louis' tour dates don't match at all. Your old synchronization theory is ruined🤷🏼‍♀️

Don't match how? I don't even know what synchronization theory you're referring to because it sure isn't mine but I highly doubt it's ruined. I think the fuck not lol, look at this. (below is a modified version of a spreadsheet I got from @/curritta28 on twitter, thank you!)

If we're just going to look at their tour dates to see if they "match" or not, whatever that means, we basically see that Harry can be anywhere until his tour starts in 6 months from now (apart from 2 dates during Coachella, but ok not part of the ask even). Then we have one week, the start of LOT, where they're for sure on different continents, but right after Louis takes a 2 week break. July is the only month that's actually providing the anti juice here as while Harry's touring Europe, Louis has a few shows himself in the beginning of the month, and will be in Australia at the end, with 10 days of them on opposite parts of the world. But there's a week break in Louis' schedule right before as well. Then from August to the end of the year it's just wide open (it's not, because DWD promo and most likely much much more, but again nothing to do with tour) and they could be anywhere. So yeah I don't know what anon tried to say here with it not matching. See for yourself: In the L+H column below it's highlighted in red when it's pretty much not possible for them to physically see each other, yellow is just where I thought it's very unlikely, and green is possible. It's a bit subjective so do look at the dates yourself rather than just the colors there here it is:

More explanations and rambles under the cut because I'm being a bit of a shit and I don't think you need it to understand the overview:

Lol ok I usually don't answer shitty anons, but I'm curious why they thought this was a good idea... Sending it to probably multiple blogs who probably haven't even talked about this? Also this was sent within 15 minutes of Harry announcing his new tour dates yesterday, which is funny because that is in no way enough time to actually check properly... literally saw news of them both touring and the first thing that came to mind is to bug larries about other people's previous posts about old tours asdfssdfe

And what does match even mean, what does synchronising even mean in this case, because both larrie and anti alike could argue both of the following to be a "match": 1) Harry and Louis' tourdates leaving room to see each other, that they take turns so to say doing a bunch of shows while the other takes a break and vice versa, but also the opposite: 2) them touring at the exact same time (like synchronising that they will both not be home, both working, taking into account each others work schedules, to then be home at the same time again) So no matter how you view it you can just.. make it work for your own beliefs? So it doesn't do anything.

Anyway, thanks anon for giving me the motivation to make that overview, as you can see they pretty much can always, apart from a couple of weeks, be together if we follow their tour dates only, so congratulations you played yourself.

And now I'll go on a rant about this whole discussion in general, because I'm honestly a little annoyed about this idea that they'd have to work their schedules around each other in order for them to be together. And seeing this overview... I for one am gonna be relieved there will be shows where nobody will try to take potato pictures of shadowy figures in boxes or tiktok receipts or OMG U GUYS THIS IS LOUIS *points at a chair* ajssjshs.

But apart from those few weeks they do have all the room in the world to follow each other around, that doesn't mean they are. I don't think they are. I think with a pandemic (not only the part where it's harder to travel but the amount of times they had to reschedule all these shows I am honestly getting worked up with the idea of there being a possible date to do a show but them going "nah not that one because then that'll break the 2 week rule lol" I mean is that really what you want them to do? I hope no one actually does?), their careers, their many business ventures, and a long term settled not to mention closeted relationship, just being a fking adult asdjks, I don't think it's realistic to expect them to work stuff around each other, like at all. Although it does seem they are still putting in effort to do so, with for instance Louis showing up in LA around Harry's shows there, so going to a few shows sure, having breaks together if it works out sure, but I don't think there's much logic to the idea of them following each other around the globe as some kinda necessity (and often it's about Louis following Harry and solo louies hating the fuck out of it, I know, and yeah honestly kinda same.)

Plus they'll sure fill these huge green spree times with other things, like promo etc, and we will see how they're both doing different stuff on many of these gaps there, but let's just see what anon said here, if their "tour dates don't match at all".... if you wanna take one week in June + a minimum of 10 days / maximum of the whole month of July of them both doing what they love as "proof" of them not being together be my fucking guest, that makes as little sense as assuming larries are taking them being MIA, or all these green bits in this case, as "proof" of them being together, because it doesn't.

rant out.