#ohhhh my god its torture. literally torture

[unfamiliaris]

how it feels when I get to see my favorite coworker tomorrow

[scificrows]

the network effect

[oh-mother-fucket]

man itd be crazy if there was tumblr in nevada.

0 notes

🥷wimbletins follow

we should kill people who annoy us

💀hostage005 follow

even me?????

🥷wimbletins follow

of course not hostage 005. i love you.

140 notes

🚬smokin-hot follow

gonna shove hank in the chamber wish me luck loyal followers 🙏

🚬smokin-hot follow

WHERE AM I

25 notes

🔴god-emperor-of-nevada follow

NEWSFLASH, NEXUS CORE, I'VE BEEN ALIVE THIS ENTIRE TIME!!!!!

🪶prophet-of-bouyancy follow

please im so tired

🔴god-emperor-of-nevada follow

You have to come work for me boy.

🪶prophet-of-bouyancy follow

i cant fucking do this man

14 notes

🛑clownin-around follow

DOES ANYONE WANT TO PLAY SAW TRAPS WITH ME HANK DO YOU WANT TO PLAY SAW TRAPS WITH ME

🥷wimbletins follow

please. no more.

235 notes

💀hostage002 follow

its so cold and dark in here

💀hostage005 follow

there are skins in the corner if you need warmth

💀hostage002 follow

im so fucking hungry man i might eat them instead

💀hostage008 follow

i havent seen the outside world in years youll get used to it

✂️2bdamned follow

can u guys stop bein so dam dramatic and help with dinner. its not even that cold

💀hostage002 follow

easy for you to say

✂️2bdamned follow

we dont have ac you stupid bitch

47 notes

🪝torture-luvrrr follow

why nothin fit me no more :/ everythings so tight tshirts are like crop tops nowadays

🪝torture-luvrrr follow

thanks for the one singular like deimos i know what you are.

🚬smokin-hot follow

hey. whats up man.

⭕aahw-asset-573744858 follow

hey smokin-hot jsyk op is a literal torturer and kidnapper and conspirator you shouldnt be so buddy buddy w them

🚬smokin-hot follow

yeah i know

⭕aahw-asset-573744858 follow

then pls unfollow and block them, i dont wanna add you to the callout post

🚬smokin-hot follow

serious question why do you follow me

⭕aahw-asset-573744858 follow

idk i think youre cool

🚬smokin-hot follow

oh my maker. dude. ohhhh my maker this is so fucking funny

buddy, im A DISSENTER

⭕aahw-asset-573744858 follow

thats a shame, i rlly liked u. pls consider reformatting bc dissenters have done nevada so much harm... i wish u the best

🪝torture-luvrrr follow

what the fuck is happening on my hornybait post

4362 notes

[olichat-reads]

Imagine | ProHero!Bakugou x Villain!Reader #2

a/n: I felt like writing some insight to what i meant when i say you and bakugou working together is somehow worse than you two going against each other. Because, yes, its that bad haha.

she/her reader

🌟

Imagine being tangled in wires and each other like cats in yarn, with you strapped to katsu's leg, trying to wiggle yourself free like a dying fish while reading the manual upside down for katsu who is frantically defusing a bomb with only his left hand because his right is stuck to your face.

"Why do we always end up like this?"

"20 years of friendship and i still have no fucking clue."

"Red wire or white?"

"Re- WAIT. WAIT. NO. WHITE."

"FUCK YOU. ARE TRYING TO GET US KILLED."

"BITCH YOU TRY READING FROM THIS ANGLE. NOW FLIP THE PAGE."

*sigh of god's most tortured soul*

"Y/n. I only have one hand free."

"Well good for you. I have none. Now. Flip- OW. OW KATSU MY HAIR. MY HAIRRR"

"STOP FUCKING SQUIRMING. I CAN'T REACH THE DAMN THING FROM HERE."

*3 minutes left on timer*

*incoherent screeching*

☆

Its usually why you rarely have anyone else on comms- because no one can stand you guys' stupid 😭.

"Red, are you hearing this psychopath??"

"Shitty hair, if you take her side I'm going to blast your ass into next thursday-"

"Don't threaten him into admitting you were right! You KNOW you're fucking NOT."

"YES, I FUCKING AM-"

"OH YEAH? LETS PUT IT OUT THERE THEN. SEE WHAT THE PUBLIC THINKS OF THE NUMBER ONE HERO DRINKING HIS COFFEE WITH HOT SAUCE-"

"ITS AN ACQUIRED TASTE-"

"ITS FUCKING DISGUSTING IS WHAT IT IS. RED TELL HIM-"

"..."

*red has left the call*

*pinky has come online*

"...HI GUYS PINKY HERE. Red had to um-"

"Pinky please tell this psycho that hot sauce in coffee is fUCKING-"

"Ohhhh its you two...... Yea, nope :D." *call disconnected*

"HAH."

"THAT WAS NOT A *YES* YOU FUCKING-"

But weirdly no one is ever too worried about you two fucking up on missions. You're both the best in the field. Feral, reckless and a little insane? Sure. But you get the job done.

A cross between lawful evil and chaotic evil.

"Can we just kill him?"

"No."

"...can i just kill him?"

"No."

"You've read the file! I'll be doing the world a favour by offing trash like him."

"This world has laws that you are binded to. And the law said fucking no."

"...please?"

"..."

"How am I supposed to live, laugh, love in this conditions?"

*big sigh*

"Fine. Mess him up. No killing. Death's too good for him."

":D!! I feel like I should be worried about the number one hero's morals but FUCK YEAH! VIOLENCE! >:D"

☆

You're also not against smacking the stupid out of your bestfriend, especially when he gets a little too reckless on the job. Injured or not. It never works but it makes you feel better at least.

"Please stop getting shot. It stresses me out."

"Oh well if you don't fucking like it- PUT THOSE HANDS AWAY I'M INJURED YOU HEARTLESS WENCH-"

☆

Its not just him tho. You're BOTH stupid. It goes both ways. ✨️ b a l a n c e ✨️

"Why are you like this."

"Idk, man. I think its the anxiety."

"The anx- BITCH YOU JUST JUMPED OUT A 12 STOREY BUILDING."

"DON'T YELL AT ME I LITERALLY JUST TOLD YOU I HAVE ANXIETY"

"'I haVe aNxiETy' she says, yeeting herself out the window because the elevator is 'sUS'."

"Small spaces makes me twitchy-"

"AND JUMPING OUT A FUCKING BUILDING DOESN'T??"

"( ; ω ; )"

"Fuck you."

"I deserve that."

"THE FUCK YOU DO-"

☆

I feel like as much as it seems like a bad idea for both parties involved, neither you can help that your work life bleeds into your regular life as well. And you both surprisingly manage it well around each other.

"Have you heard about that new hero??"

"You talking about that air brained newbie?"

"Oh my god, so he WAS dumb! I literally thought you guys were using him as bait!"

"We weren't. He's just fucking stupid."

"I almost felt bad knocking him out :("

"Nah, you're fine. In fact, you should've hit him harder. Maybe give him a concussion or hell a scar as a souvenir. Make sure the lesson fucking sticks."

"You are worryingly condoning of violence for the number one hero, Katsu."

"Bitch, have you met me?"

☆

Another thing that i thing could go awfully wrong is literally planning out your work plans together but you two are just??? So trusting of the other to never double cross you.

"Wait, what? Why the fuck would you do that?"

"Because thats the nearest and fastest exit to the train station. I can cut down on 10 whole minutes and i need that time to catch the train."

"But its the riskiest, you fucking dumbass. Look, you have four other exits WHY would you pick the one you KNOW the heroes would target?"

"Because MATHS SAID-"

"You know what just let me do it-"

"Katsu no-"

☆

You give each gray hairs but you both of you were ready to risk your neck for the other.

"Having you as my bestfriend is like having an emotionally unstable daughter that never listens."

"...but?"

"There's no buts. You give me migraines."

":("

Yeah. You love each other.

🌟

a/n: hehe

[eddiegettingshot]

okay. mourning s1-s4 tim minear anon here. just finished my season 3 rewatch and ohhhhh boy oh boy. honestly I could write so much about that finale alone because s6 and s7 have made me forget what a good finale can be (athough I will say that the s3 finale has me thinking a wholeeee bunch of insane things about the s7 finale like buddie things and how the writing choices are were insane (complementary) that I will not elaborate on here because Im already rambling too much about how good s3 is). but genuinely all the character arcs were SO GOOD this season its insane. athena (hate the copaganda here but the general emotional journey with athena and athena/may): establishing what being a cop means to her -> showing that not even the murder of her fiance could sway her from policing and finally arresting the man that did it -> experiencing something traumatic first hand that makes her question her ability to do the job again. and then may: hating what her mom does, going as far as to write her college essay about it, then insisting on taking the pictures with her mom for prom despite her injuries from policing/not being ashamed of her. and also appreciating it to the point of also wanting to help people but as an acab truther pursuing a different way of doing it (911 operator. also imagine they made may a cop thank god that didnt happen lmao). michaels feeling of loneliness and isolation leading up to his diagnosis, then ending the season by meeting his endgame and knowing he gets to live. buck starting the season being insecure about losing his place with the 118 and being the person left behind again and ending the season confronting the last person who left him + feeling secure in his relationships with the 118. bobby's refusal to let buck do anything at the beginning of the season due to his injury + general recklessness vs doing buck's suggested rescue to save both victims. both the henren IVF/fostering arc AND the hen arc were great and thank god because the henren of it all was seriously lacking before this season. but hitting the girl with the ambulance -> reconnecting with her first rescue -> introducing her issues with Drs and their ability to listen and help patients to their full ability -> pursuing med school SO GOOD. and remember when madney used to get character arcs UGHH soooo good. developing chim + his mom/albert/his dad more. having maddie actually confront what happened with doug via therapy (btw maddie stalker plot good example of how to do an insane storyline well!!). this leading into the love confession and also the conclusion/start to the pregnancy arc they set up in !!! episode 1 !!! them not just dropping the josh arc completely after the heist trauma he suffered and seeing it through to a satisfying conclusion. and like I do have one nitpick in hindsight like the eddie arc was so good up until he got caught in the fighting ring and he cried about the divorce and then it was just never brought up again in favour of doing the mini chris stories in 3x10/3x12/3x15. like you literally had a chance to address and conclude eddie's mourning shannon arc in eddie begins or the episodes surrounding that and just didnt LMAO idk maybe they had plans and it got scrapped for the buck/red/abby arc because connie agreed to come back because really it was the only thing that did not feel concluded relative to literally every other character arc this season. anyways where is this tim. TIM WAKE UP!!! come back and give your characters arcs!!! one thing that is super obvious from rewatching the early seasons is there is still SO MUCH interesting stuff to explore with these characters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am begging please give eddie a story with a satisfactory conclusion please give maddie and chim stories please stop torturing hen and karen via fostering/adoption please conclude a buck plot in satisfactory fashion please have bobby and athena explore his past properly please make ravi a main

ohhhh my god THIS MADE ME MOURN S3 TOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 what the fuck COME BACK TIM 😭😭😭😭😭 i want him BACK 😭😭😭😭😭

[tears-of-boredom]

ep 7:

god damn it this is going to be a gordon episode i hate him so much like omggg sorry like why is him being the antichrist so bad??? bella i honestly like you for making gordon at least pay for the info. literally dont even mind that you sold them out like i support womens wrongs even when its towards sammy. lmaoo why are they shooting guys just literally talk?? omg they have shit aim though are these guys even hunters lmao OH YEAH THIS GUY TURNS GORDON INTO A VAMPIRE!! I FROGOT ABOUT THAT!! dean i do not honestly believe youd kill bella like bella can just talk about her trauma and youll get too distracted to go through with it sorry im so weak gfangfdngju this vamps so hot. gordon if this was different circumstances id probably like you honestly but since you cant take a moment to calm the fuck down i cant stand you. vamp dude i love youuuu torture gordon by turning him into the very monster he hunts except gordon decides that he's the exception to the rule doesnt he. that every other vampire should die immideatly just for purely being a vampire, but for some reason he himself deserves to live. yeah i think i remember why i hate gordon so much. he's a hypocrite in a very un-fun way. and its way too realistic as well. like he's such a conservative. vamp omg i love you please no no dean dont. dixon dude i love you i would spend eternity with you i swear oh and gordons partner's gonna die no? cuz he thinks gordon should die now right? yeahh gordons gonna kill him cuz gordon fucking sucks ohhhh thats a nice blood color gordon you literally did not have to kill him. you could have easily subdued him. like come the fuck on at least dont lie about your bullshit morals. omg sam omggg nooooo dean cmon O H MY HG OF I FUCKING GHATE GORDFON WHSAT THE EFUCK HOW IS IT NOIW THATN YOUN ABANDON YOUYR GOD DAMN MORTALS I FUJCK9I8NG HSATENMYOU UUU oh my god gordon like i fucking swear like you never cared about protecting the world. oh my god gordon you are so fucking stupid. dean whyd you hesitate. fucking pull the trigger when you have him in your sights you fucking idiot omg sam covered in blood? sam covered in blood tonite?? yall not gonna burn his remains though?? yall just gonna leave his whole body there? omg dean dean you stupid motherfucker show your affection in other ways

anywayy,,, ill tag you in these until you tell me to stop,, @sardonic-the-writer

[m1d-45]

midas we are holding hands /p holy fucking SHIT. so first of all wendigoon is a great source he is incredibly thorough you have it ENTIRELY right. and also yes in the mandela catalogue (SPOILERS FOR ANYONE UNINITIATED) it is confirmed that the alternates replaced not only christianity, but god himself, so do with that what you will!

there so SOOOOOO many routes you can take with this and i am so so normal about all of them i prommy.

like, the alternate not being an inherently malicious entity, just trying to get rid of you in order to continue its own existence? OHHHH BOY. THEY DID NOT LIE THERE TRULY IS NOT ENOUGH ROOM FOR THE BOTH OF YOU.

the absolute guilt reader could feel if they realized that they were the one who brought alternates into teyvat - or even worse, it’s used against them by the alternate!imposter. “they loved you, and all you have brought them is pain and terror. if you hadn’t interfered, they would not be suffering this plague. this is your fault.” alternates using psychological torture my beloved <3

and also just the horror of people praying to a god that is just as helpless as them… me when i lose my FUCKING mind.

AND THEN CREATOR BEING CAST OUT BY THE ALTERNATE… i mean, if fate got a video game company to make a little game based on your creation, who says it couldn’t give a guy on the internet the idea of a world plagued by doppelgängers? maybe the alternates haven’t been able to gain as much power yet, being seen more as a folk tale if they’re acknowledged at all, but with both the creator and several archons missing, there’s a lot of power vacuums that something could just… slide into :)

there’s also the hurt/comfort version where reader leaves the mandela catalogue verse into an alternate-less teyvat and gets to finally chill the fuck out but i enjoy pain - teddy anon, who is now thinking of what other fucked up universes we can mix in here (hiimmarymary anyone? or perhaps gemini home entertainment, or monument mythos? the possibilities are endless)

RED ALERT WE HAVE TEDDY ANON APPROVAL LETS FUCKIN GOOOOOO

i, too, am entirely normal about the mandela catalogue. let’s be normal together.

i knew the first bit abt alternates replacing christianity and honestly.. just switch some names and you have what i was going for with my initial(?) post abt it.

OH in vol. 4 a ‘shepherd’ is mentioned, somebody who acts against the alternates, so like… that could be reader.

and yes yes yes the alternate literally needing faith to survive is so good and so tasty and it’s you against it to fight for the belief of teyvat- you to heal, to restore your status as a god, and it to live, to exist at all, because it was born of faith and breathes religion.

alternates using psychological terror my beloved as well, the concept of the final standoff between alternate!reader and reader centering around “you were where it all started, you brought this upon this place, the earth you swore you loved now tilled by the enemies hands, using a blade of your own making” is SO good honestly

i know i touched on it with the traveller but against reader??? who has personal investment in everything??? aka a million times more ammo??? incredible show stopping never seen before-

“the horror of people praying to a god that is just as helpless as them” hey teddy do you want my account that line is worth like my soul oh my GOD

me when i lose my mind too. people praying to the thing they’re trying to destroy is great, but people praying for guidance that can’t come?? people asking a god with no power for strength, people praying to the one in chains for freedom from evil i- your MIND my guy

and YES the idea of the alternate(s) being almost forced into existence because of the power vacuum left YES YOU GET IT YOU GET IT

also MOMUMENT MYTHOS? TEDDY FORGET HOLDING MY HAND I AM TAKING YOU TO A LOVELY DINNER /p

aisndkndfn AH IN MONDSTATS STORY QUEST VENTI IS HEALED BY THE TREE IN WINDRISE BC ITS TIED TO ANEMO, SO WHAT IF INSTEAD OF HEALING THESE PLACES OF ELEMENTAL ENERGY ARE TAINTING, CORRUPTING- REPLACING?

hiimmarymary is good and great and i love it and love you but that’s more a tale of a personal struggle rather than a worldwide problem so i’m gonna very gently set it aside

gemini home entertainment i don’t know a lot about, sadly, so i can’t say much about it.

back to monument mythos though: 1) your mind is fucking MASSIVE 2) it’s been a while since i’ve brushed up on the lore BUT: lincoln lookers, right?

shrines to the creator, right?

… :)

[aspenwriter]

Bloody Ann: Chapter 4

(CW: Violence, Smut, Torture)

If I were to compare the situation I was in right now, I'd say it was very similar to a medieval court.

We had our Queen, Anastasia I of House Rayne, sitting in her throne (an executive level office chair) attending to her supplicant peasants. We had an interminable row of people entering the HQ asking for a myriad of things to be done for City 43. Queen Anastasia heard all of them patiently, while I, the royal scribe, annotated diligently.

Now, the thing was, Ann was quite affectionate with me. Petting my head and stroking my back very frequently as I tried to work. And of course, everyone saw it. I could hear them whispering to each other, and oh I could see the tabloids speculating already.

I desperately needed something interesting to happen. Three hours of hearing supplicants. God someone put me out of my misery.

And then something interesting happened.

This woman climbed up Ann's desk. She was tall and buff, probably a construction worker, with a black pixie cut. There was she looked at me with pity, and disdain. And she looked at Ann defiantly.

"Leave us alone Rayne!" She proclaimed "we're not scared of you!"

If Anastasia was bored, if somehow the endless stream of supplicants had crushed her spirit a bit, that feeling dissipated immediately. She laughed. Loudly, mockingly.

"And who are you to make demands to me, speck?" She asked, wiping a small tear from the corner of her eye amidst the laughter.

Yeah, who the hell did she think she was?

"Does it matter bitch?" The woman replied defiantly. "Do you think I will give you the pleasure of entertaining your sick mind!?"

"You're already entertaining me sweetheart, that's for sure" Ann said, resting her head on her lowered arms to be almost at eye level with the woman. Then she… began sniffing around her.

The woman still stood defiantly, but I could see her closing her eyes as Ann got closer and closer.

"You… smell funny, speck" Ann said, almost as a whisper. I was captivated by the scene. I needed to know where this was going.

Oh god, did I…

Did I want to see Ann doing something horrible?

Holy shit I did. The fucked up shit she does… It's hot.

OK OK I will confess. I've spent every free hour since we slept together looking at her social media posts… and broadcasts of her delivering the Director’s justice.

I will confess that thing she did with the gang leaders, well it was true, she did deep fry then alive. She looked gorgeous doing it. As gorgeous as she looked intimidating this random woman.

Ok that's enough of me daydreaming about her, back to the show.

"I don't know what you're talking about" said the woman to Ann's comment.

"Yes. You. Do." Said Ann. "Otherwise you wouldn't have said that. What are you hiding? Do I need to pick you apart to find it?"

Did she mean that literally? Oh please do.

"I will not say anything to you, tyrant!" Screamed the woman.

"Oh, you will" whispered Ann. And immediately her open palm came crashing down like if slamming a bug. The woman screamed. Ann most probably broke some of her bones.

And then, she pulled something out of a drawer, a strange device consisting of a needle and a screen. She injected it, uncharacteristically carefully, on the woman's back. The device turned on, and numbers, symbols and data started appearing on its screen.

"Ohhhh, so that was the smell, little one…" Ann said, tasting every word like some sort of candy. "Pounds of pills filled with poison inside you".

The woman started sweating profusely.

"You didn't ingest them, of course… you're packing enough to kill a normal sized person" Ann said "If I had to take a guess…"

Anastasia grabbed the woman with the same hand that had restrained her, and lifted her up. With her other hand's sharp nails, she cut through the woman's vest. Revealing a huge, recently stitched scar on her abdomen.

Ann laughed again, longer, genuinely amused. "Oh dear… did you really think I was going to fall for it?" She asked.

The woman was silent, Ann smashed her down on the table again. Her mood radically changed from amused to outraged.

"DID YOU REALLY THINK ANASTASIA FREDERICA RAYNE WOULD FALL FOR THAT!?" She screamed.

Oh please scream like that more often.

The supplicants on the row backed, the woman screamed in pain and I didn't move an inch. I wanted to see. I wanted to see whatever punishment awaited this random woman.

"You walked here, trying to bait me into eating you, so you could get all that poison inside my belly did you?" Ann said, with a grin. Her mood returning to amusement.

"We… ughhh" tried to say the woman, amidst her pain. "We…"

"Ugh, you're in a pathetic state" said Ann with disdain. "Lilibeth!"

She called to me!

"My lady!" I said, standing up. It's true we were on a first name basis already, but I had to keep appearances even if Ann wasn't going to. Also, she's still my hierarchical superior here. "What do you need?"

"Call the doc, make them extract the poison out of this bitch and then send her to our quarters for interrogation, I want to handle this personally"

Our quarters!

Anastasia sighed and sat down, still clutching the now desperate woman in her hands until the medical team arrived on a drone and sedated her. She took a glance at me during that ordeal. I could only respond with a look.

A look that said: I'm going to watch my giant girlfriend rip you apart.

----------

Believe it or not, we attended supplicants for two more hours. Nothing stopped the wheels of government, not even a lousy assassination attempt. When Ann announced that petitions to the authority will resume tomorrow, there was still a long line in waiting.

Anastasia picked me up and raised me to her shoulder, where I sat comfortably. Interaction with normal sized people is always a thrill, no matter how mundane, but this was another level. The Director already carried me sometimes from place to place but never on her shoulders. It felt like riding a moving skyscraper. A walking castle.

"What did you think of that, Lilibeth?" She asked, turning her head to me.

"Attempted magnicide is a serious thing" I replied.

"It is… I fear little Lydia has left our City infested not with simple rioters, but an actual rebel organisation"

"An entire organisation?" I asked.

"A capsule of the things the docs found inside her would have killed you. They found enough to kill me. Someone supplied her".

"Do we have any suspects?"

"Oh, that's what we're going to find out, my pet" she said, smiling gleefully as she entered our room in the HQ.

There, she awaited us.

The woman was trapped inside a transparent jar on the kitchen's table. Ann gleefully sat down at the counter, me still on her shoulder, and opened the jar, letting the woman fall down on her back.

"So the docs got you all prepped for me!" Ann said cheerfully "they even got your whole info via your biometric registers"

The woman was still defiant. Although shaken.

"It says here your name is Mia Brown. 32, a healthy 3 inch and a half…" the woman scoffed at the mention of her height. "From a middle class family, school dropout, suspected of radical thought, now construction worker for the Rayne Public Works Consortium"

Mia stood up. "I'm not saying anything".

"You won't, but Lisa will" Ann said.

That made Mia freeze.

"Ohhhh, yes, I know about her" Ann said. "In fact, give me a sec…" she shoved Mia back in the jar and set me down on the counter.

She then planted a soft kiss in my head and said "take care of Mia while I'm gone, alright Lilibeth"

"I… will!" I replied a little surprised by the kiss.

"That's a good girl! I'll be back in half an hour, if my calculations are correct"

Ann left me in the table and left the room. As soon as she did, Mia tried breaking the glass with the weight of her body. And looked at me with some eyes injected in blood.

"You monster! DON'T TOUCH LISA!" She screamed at me.

"Hey, I don't know who this Lisa person is, keep quiet" I said.

"Don't tell me to keep quiet you pet!" She barked.

"Is that supposed to be an insult?" I said, somewhat arrogantly I must admit.

"You're nothing to them. Amusement, at best. They don't see you as human and yet there you are, playing along their stupid god fantasy" she said "They literally stomp over the human spirit and you gladly offer your face to the boot and thank them for it"

I'm not gonna lie, I would let Ann hover her boots above me.

"And yet, from my point of view, I live a happy life, while you're in a jar" I said.

"And you aren't?" She replied.

I didn't reply. I stood there for ten minutes without looking nor talking to Mia. Was it true? Did I lack any agency in this relationship?

Then Ann came back, holding a brunette girl firmly in her hand. Mia's eyes let tears drop, as she whispered a simple "no…"

"Well well well… I thought you two had broken up" Ann said. "Or at least that's what little Lisa barked at the enforcers that took her, I heard she put on quite a fight and she cursed like a sailor, I wonder why she's been so quiet since I picked her up at the helipad then…"

"Please… please don't do anything to her…" Mia said, almost whimpering.

Ann sat back and, same as with Mia before, slammed Lisa on the table with the palm of her hand. The brunette screamed in pain. I sat down on the floor (Well, the kitchen's table actually) and watched the spectacle.

"Listen to me, Mia" Ann said "you're gonna tell me about your rebel friends or you'll have to watch your cute little girlfriend's limbs break one bone at a time"

"I… I…." Suttered Mia.

Ann's finger came for Lisa's left arm. She started pulling, slowly. I heard her muscles stretching. I heard Lisa begging. And I heard Mia screaming a name.

"THE GENERAL!" she yelled "THE GENERAL SENT ME!"

"Tch, tch, well, whoever this General person is, they should have sent a suicide agent with no loose ends" Ann said. "Tell me about them Mia, now"

"She operates on sector T9…" Mia said, defeated. "I've… only seen her once, when she thanked me for my bravery"

"Quite an interesting friend you had there… what organisation she runs, huh?"

"The Torchbearers" Mia said, amidst a whimper.

"Oh, interesting, I thought they'd been disbanded…" Ann said. "Is that all?"

"It's all I know I swear! I'm just a footsoldier, I now nothing about the upper command I swear!"

"I believe you" said Ann. "And therefore, you're of no use to me, neither is your little girlfriend"

Ann picked Mia and Lisa up, and held them in her clutches. She took a moment to appreciate the pair. I had no possible means of understanding the purpose of it. Was it pity? Disdain? Disgust?

She left them both on the floor. Near her right foot. I peeked out from the table to see what was happening.

Mia and Lisa were hugging and crying, apologising to each other. Mia kept telling Lisa that everything was going to be ok. But I looked at Ann and knew that wasn't going to be the case by a longshot.

But just as her foot was about to go down on the couple, I yelled.

"ANN WAIT!"

"Huh? Lilibeth?" She said, turning to me.

"I know attempted magnicide and association with a terrorist are two things that deserve death… but I beg you, don't crush them"

"And why shouldn't I, my dear?" She asked, genuinely curious.

I confess I was acting just on sympathy for the couple. I didn't know a reason for Ann to spare them. I had to act quick.

"Mia was ready to die anyway" I improvised. "Killing her is no true punishment.

"I see…" Ann said, biting her thumb, thinking.

"And Lisa, didn't directly threaten you, killing her will be unsatisfying!" I bluffed.

"I… suppose you're right Lilibeth"

Holy shit. Did it work?

"I suggest" I continued "that Mia should attone by living the rest of her life in your service. If she was so ready to die to see you gone, a life under your shadow will be poetic justice!"

"That's actually a great idea Lilibeth!" Ann said, with an ear to ear smile.

"As for Lisa, she wanted to cut off ties with Mia, if we believe her, and she used that as a defense… so as punishment… she should remain the rest of her life with Mia, a slave of your needs too!"

"You're getting pretty good at this pet! You make this young woman proud!" Ann said.

She slammed her foot on the floor, barely millimetres away from the couple and said:

"Listen up you lovebirds! My dear Lilibeth thinks killing you would be a waste of two healthy slaves, so I'm keeping you here. You will spend the rest of your lives at my service, you will answer first to me and second to my pet! And you will thank her every day for the rest of your sad, pathetic lives that you're alive because of her intervention alone" she proclaimed. "Now kiss my fucking shoe while you thank me for being so nice to you two! That's an order!"

Lisa scurried away to Ann's shoe, I've never seen anyone so relieved and terrified at the same time. She thanked, and spilled almost an epic poem in praise of her new owner. Mia too, went and kissed that giant shoe, she thanked Ann, but every word coming from her mouth was like I was seeing her vomiting her soul.

"Good job little ones!" Ann said. "And great idea my pet!"

I couldn't believe it. I actually influenced her mind. I was of actual value to her. I was a partner.

Her index finger came to pat me. I let it, of course, but as soon as Ann began to pull it away I grabbed it, pulled it down and hugged it. Of course I didn't have the strength to pull it down, she just let me. I was now rubbing myself against her digit.

She looked down at me, blushing.

I looked up. She was biting her lips. I was sweating. Shaking even. And then I dropped the bomb.

"Let's fuck, let your slaves watch"

Anastasia Frederica Rayne, the most powerful woman on Earth besides the Director, let out a long moan.

"I love you, Elizabeth" she said, and carried the three of us to our bed.

[quidfree]

prompts,.,, fem tdbk and a date gone very wrong ? ❤️

ohhhh my god anon. pump this shit directly into my veins i love this whole premise let’s go. also all inspired by whatever the fuck horikoshi was doing in this 

just so everyone is on the same page here, it is not a fucking date.

it’s lunch. a singular lunch. people do that shit all the time. even katsuki does lunch, sometimes. she went to that semi-shitty diner place with kirishima that one time when the food hall was shut because some dumbass first year exploded into goo or whatever. and todoroki does lunch, too- her and deku were on some shitty lunch date like a week ago, as evidenced by deku’s even shittier selfie of them having a grand old time doing whatever the fuck they do alone.

fuck, not a shitty lunch date. a shitty lunch. whatever.

the point is lunch is a normal non-date thing people do, and the fact katsuki and todoroki are maybe not the usual suspects for it is just circumstantial. it’s not like they planned it ahead of time, or made some big thing about it. they literally arranged for it in public, so obviously todoroki didn’t think there was anything weird about it. and there isn’t! they’re both going to be in tokyo on the same day, and todoroki’s always happy for any excuse to spend less time with her old man, and katsuki sure as fuck wouldn’t turn down an opportunity to avoid her hag of a birth-giver for a few blissful hours, so when todoroki had very nonchalantly gone ‘oh, bakugou, we could do lunch then”, it wasn’t like she had any real reason to tell her to go fuck herself. like, yeah, maybe a year ago, on principle, she would have, but even katsuki can only take so much trauma-bonding before she resigns herself to the reality that she’s stuck with half ‘n half for life, one way or another, and she may as well suck it up and approach civility because said moron is determined to ignore her open malice until she plays along anyways. they’re... you know, whatever. friends. or something. jesus.

the point being that it’s not a date, and the fact that she’s getting increasingly annoyed at her limited wardrobe is just because she would have packed more shit if the crone hadn’t insisted that they ‘pack light’ so they could get cheaper train tickets for less luggage. it’s just annoying that she can’t wear anything that’s not screaming holiday.

it occurs to her as she sits and scowls at her suitcase that her mother has been watching her from the doorframe for some undetermined amount of time, which is criminal mainly because she’s a goddamn hero-to-be and getting snuck up on by anyone is a blight upon her good name. she tries to disguise the ego damage dealt by glowering murderously in her progenitor’s direction.

“what the fuck do you want?”

“you know,” the she-devil says, cocking a hip, “if you want to borrow something nicer...”

“i wouldn’t be caught dead in your shitty clothes!” katsuki snarls, which prompts the witch to immediately scowl back.

“watch your damn mouth!”

“watch your waistline! no way in hell are we the same size!”

“why you little-”

the interruption at least reminds her that she is obsessing over her clothes ahead of meeting todoroki for lunch, which is so humiliating it kickstarts her brain again long enough to grab some normal shit and get the hell out of there.

on the walk she checks her phone again. the previous day she’d had to bite the bullet and make the first move, todoroki’s infamously terrible communication skills making themselves known once more, and their ensuing conversation had been so mortifying she’d nearly cancelled all-together.

to: Half ‘n half

Yo asshole are we still meeting tomorrow or what

I’m busy as shit

from: Half ‘n half

Yes. TS

to: Half ‘n half

What the fuck is TS

from: Half ‘n half

I was signing off.

to: Half ‘n half

SIGNING OFF ON YOUR OWN TEXT

YOU THINK I DONT KNOW YOUR DAMN NAME

from: Half ‘n half

[Pin attached]

Does here at 12.30 work for you?

to: Half ‘n half

Yeah whatever

Don’t be late

And don’t think I’m forgetting the fucking signing off thing

from: Half ‘n half

Glad you can make time for mockery in your busy as shit schedule.

the venue looks like some rich person shit, which she semi-expected, but it means a lot of people give her weird looks as she makes her way inside, probably on account of the shorts and t-shirt she’s wearing if not her general vibe. some old woman actually drags her purse to her, which makes katsuki sorely tempted to bare her teeth and maybe hiss for effect, though she settles for scowling and shoving her hands in her pockets. it’s 12.27, because she wasn’t going to be late but being any earlier would have given off some dubious impression that she’s eager to see todoroki, except now she kind of wishes she’d just come for 12.30 because if there’s some reservation bullshit she gets the feeling she’s going to start fighting with the waiting staff, and then-

“bakugou,” todoroki calls, from inside, raising a hand with unnecessary formality. “you made it.”

“course i made it,” katsuki grunts, absolutely not relieved as she by-passes the suspicious looking waiter to join her outside. “think i can’t ride the damn underground by myself?”

todoroki is wearing jeans cuffed at the ankles and a white t-shirt on top of which she’s thrown on an open button-up with the sleeves rolled up, and she looks casual and normal and incidentally kind of like they dressed to match, but the important part is that she doesn’t look dressed up at all, so katsuki was totally right about the non-date situation, and also isn’t the only one totally underdressed for the shitty venue.

“you look nice,” todoroki says then, completely shattering katsuki’s brief moment of reprieve. “i’ve never seen so much color on you.”

katsuki almost chokes on her own tongue, but the worst part is that the asshole seems completely nonchalant about the weird as shit observation, focused on her stool as she takes a seat on the balcony. which- what the actual fuck? since when does todoroki issue compliments unprompted- of the non-professional variety, at that? and what the fuck does she expect katsuki to say now- return the compliment? say thanks? is this whole thing some kind of exercise in psychological torture?

well, fuck it. she can’t look like a little bitch just because todoroki said something inanely positive. two can play that game.

“yeah. you look half decent yourself. did you hire someone to dress you for the occasion?”

todoroki blinks up at her in surprise, which is totally a win and would make her more smug if she could stop feeling so weird and prickly all over. for a dangerous moment todoroki seems on the verge of blushing, but miraculously the world rights itself and the usual deadpan persists, one brow quirking up in completely feigned ineptitude.

“there was a compliment somewhere in there, so thank you, i think. i thought we were past this vendetta.”

“we’ll be past this vendetta the day you burn your piece of shit hero suit,” katsuki retorts, back on familiar ground, and relaxes long enough to squint down at the menu.

this turns out to be a mistake.

“the fuck? is this whole thing in french?”

“oh,” todoroki says, after a beat. “that makes sense. i thought my english had deteriorated.”

“are you- you didn’t know? you recommended the place!”

“it was the nearest place to our hotel,” todoroki defends, now having the decency of looking slightly put out. “coq can’t mean what i think it means, can it?”

“that’s chicken, asshole,” katsuki hisses, flinging the menu down. “great, now we’re going to have to flag down one of the shithead waiters and ask for a japanese menu. excuse me! hey! yeah, i’m talking to- what the hell, did he just blow me off? hey, jackass! you with the shitty mustache!”

“sorry about that,” todoroki interjects, when mustache asshole turns an offended stare their way. “do you have the japanese menu?”

“we only serve the food in its authentic form,” mustachioed asshole says, with frigid self-satisfaction. “might i suggest google translate?”

“might i suggest my foot up your ass, you shitty-”

“that’s fine,” todoroki says, in a flat tone that implies otherwise. “we’ll make do.”

the waiter sniffs pretentiously as katsuki thinks about all the ways she could beat his ass into next tuesday, running an aggravated hand through her hair when the wind rustles it into her face. she’d half expect todoroki to suggest they fuck off elsewhere, but when she looks back her way she finds an ill-boding gleam of determination in her eyes despite the impassive set to her face, and it’s a testament to how fucked in the head ua has made katsuki that she feels a sort of sick thrill of recognition at the sight. todoroki’s in stubborn bitch mode.

“i’ll have this,” todoroki says, sure enough, pointing to the most expensive item on the menu. “and also this. and one of those.”

the waiter’s eyes nearly pop out of his skull, and todoroki looks unfazed in katsuki’s direction, tapping pointedly at a sleek black and red credit card in her wallet. “bakugou?”

well, if endeavour’s paying....

“sure,” katsuki says, slowly, and then turns her meanest smile the waiter’s way. “i want the frog legs.”

mustache clears his throat, attempts condescension. “we don’t serve that here.”

“you’re a gastronomique restaurant,” katsuki says very loudly, as other clients turn to stare, “and you don’t have fucking frog legs? is this a joke? does this napkin say authentic french cuisine or am i hallucinating?”

“i can ask the chef,” the waiter demurs, casting a nervous glance at the muttering snobs nearby, and attempts an ingratiating smile. “anything else for you, mademoiselle?”

“what did you just call me?”

once the ordering debacle is over, todoroki slants katsuki what may well be an apologetic glance, vaguely contrite frown sitting pretty atop her usual dead-eyed stare.

“i probably should have read up on the place ahead of time.”

katsuki is well within her rights to chew her head off, she thinks, but food’s on the way and she got to yell at the asshole who gave her the once-over when she came in, so she’s feeling forgiving, even in the face of todoroki’s annoyingly doll-faced apology. the bitch really has to do the bare minimum and she looks like a fucking kpop idol.

“yeah, whatever. i always knew you were a shitty ops planner.”

todoroki, who is an asshole, looks relieved at her generous forgiveness for all of a second before she quirks a brow. “between the two of us, i only count one person who has actually spoken the words ‘shoot first, ask questions later’.”

“that was in a training simulation,” katsuki protests, outraged. “and you know damn well the actors were annoying as shit!”

“i did find them slightly too committed to the role,” todoroki concedes neutrally, which totally means she agrees with katsuki 100% and is being precious about it. katsuki scoffs.

“least the view’s decent.”

“the-“ todoroki starts, in weirdly confused tones, until she follows katsuki’s gaze outward and nods in understanding. “oh, the skyline. yes.”

what else katsuki could have meant she doesn’t fucking know: they’re sitting pretty in the middle of tokyo. the only thing the hellhole of a restaurant has going for it at this point is the cityscape.

todoroki stares out into the distance for a good long moment, and with the breeze her negligently loose hair whips this way and that, red and white blur where the two halves mingle. instinctively katsuki itches to braid it flat so it doesn’t tangle. if todoroki asked her she’d tell her to just cut her damn hair into a bob or something- it’s not like icyhot has any attachment to her princess hair, and she’s got the obnoxious bone structure to pull off any length. not that she’d mention this last part. or that she’s given it much thought. it’s just fucking obvious.

if todoroki could keep her mouth shut throughout the rest of the meal, it could be sort of nice. tokyo skyline, and companionable silence, and presumably edible food. worse ways to kill some time, and way less incriminating than anything that may be said otherwise.

“i think this is the part where we make small talk,” todoroki says instead, sadist that she definitely is, as katsuki grimaces feelingly her way.

“no, we don’t.”

“well, we don’t. but this is the part where we should.”

“i don’t even believe you can last a minute of small talk, icyhot.”

todoroki looks pensive, mismatched eyes thoughtful. “...how has your day been?”

“uneventful,” katsuki says, combative, and eyes her watch. todoroki does not give.

“this place seems nice.”

“you don’t even think that.”

“how have you been finding tokyo?”

“noisy.”

“the weather seems-”

“no.”

“you look nice.”

“you said that already, dumbass,” katsuki grunts, palms crackling with sweat, and does not at all read into the way todoroki makes a stupid little movement with her mouth that could ungenerously be interpreted as a pout.

“well, i meant it, so i’m saying it twice.”

“give it up, half ‘n half, just ask me about training.”

“...how is your training?”

“i did this thing yesterday,” katsuki starts, leaning back in her chair, and from then launches into a very technical and barely exaggerated retelling of the batshit insane stunt she pulled off with her quirk the day prior. todoroki’s focused attention is gratifying, in a totally platonic non-weird way- it’s just that her parents couldn’t very well follow why exactly said stunt was as insane as it is, but todoroki obviously can, and also there’s that thing with todoroki where pulling a reaction out of her ice queen act is admittedly more satisfying than most people. it has jack shit to do with the fact katsuki’s got a very minor complex about todoroki paying her her dues, and even if it did then that’s entirely fucking reasonable considering she still hasn’t forgiven her for the sports fest incident. 

it is a little weird having todoroki’s sole focus on her outside of hero shit, though. it’s not like they really hang out one on one outside of school or work. it’s kind of- unnerving. yeah. unnerving, to be making prolonged eye contact, todoroki’s expression intent but not intense the way she gets in fight scenarios, frowning lightly because she has resting bitch face but apparently genuinely interested. it’s kind of a relief that todoroki asks questions- moves them safely into a conversation, so katsuki’s not just sitting there talking and sort of dry-throated. fucking waiter, leaving them water-less.

it’s fine. they talk about training, and quirks, and then todoroki pushes her hair behind her ears and leans forward to demonstrate on a small scale this thing she’s trying to do where she melts her ice and refreezes it in rapid succession so it causes what is essentially ice rain, but there’s logistics and shit that need to be worked out for it to work the way she’s thinking it might, and katsuki knows her thermal shit so they start scrawling maths over the napkins, and then bicker over the finer points of first year chemistry, so when the food actually arrives to interrupt them todoroki’s startled blink is weirdly relatable, like she also forgot where they were.

the waiter’s there and gone before they’re really recovered from the brief misplacement, which katsuki registers only when she looks down at her empty glass.

“goddamnit- how hard is it to bring us water?”

“they only offer sparkling,” todoroki says, gravely, then outpaces katsuki’s disgust by placing her hand over her glass, ice rising before she switches hands and melts it down. “tell me if the temperature’s off.”

intensely mollified and trying not to look it, katsuki sips it. “’s fine.”

“okay,” todoroki says, faintly pleased, and tilts her head to look down at her food. “i have no idea what any of this is.”

“moron,” katsuki snorts, except it comes out way fonder than it has any rights to, and from beneath the convenient curtain of hair todoroki’s smiling a little, so she hastily stabs a frog leg and gets to eating before anyone gets any ideas.

the actual meal goes okay-ish. most of the stuff todoroki ordered is extremely pretentious french cuisine, and todoroki secretly has the culinary adventurousness of a five year old, so it befalls katsuki to impatiently attempt every dish and pronounce it edible before todoroki will deign to brave it. she’s still trying to bully an unyielding todoroki into attempting the weird bird soup thing when there’s commotion nearby. it takes the both of them approximately three seconds to spring into work-mode; katsuki’s on her feet poised for a fight before she’s even consciously thought about it, scanning her peripherals, and she doesn’t even need to look to feel todoroki unconsciously covering her back, cool sting of air signalling her quirk at the ready. 

the commotion turns out just to be some old dumbass choking, relaxing them both out of their stances as she falls back to let todoroki ahead. they’re both uber-qualified for first aid shit, but she’s self-aware enough to know even todoroki’s bland reassurances are usually preferred to her bedside manner. unfortunately, the whole entourage seems to be braindead, because they’re all crowding the old guy in a panic while he chokes, his wife in shrieking hysterics.

“oh, my god, he’s choking! he’s choking! sugar-plum, stay with me!”

“fuck me,” katsuki mutters, unethically thinking that she would personally prefer choking to being married to someone who calls her sugar-plum, but todoroki’s pushing ahead with implacable calm, so she trudges after her anyways.

“excuse me. excuse me. i need access to your husband.”

“who are you? don’t touch him! help! get this woman off my husband!” wailing hysteric yells, bosom heaving dramatically. katsuki is starting to suspect she poisoned him on purpose or some shit, because no way does anyone talk like that in real life.

“she’s a fucking qualified first aid provider, lady, shut up and let her through!”

thankfully, the woman seems on the verge of an outrage aneurysm, which drags her focus away from suffocating her choking husband to dramatically pointing at katsuki long enough for todoroki to duck past her and reach the guy as he turns purple.

“how dare you speak to me that way? who do you think you are?”

“ma,” chinless moron number one says, clearing his throat. “i think that’s one of those future pros from TV.”

“what?”

“you know, ma,” chinless moron number two adds, glancing nervously between them. “the one that explodes things. you know. from UA.”

katsuki takes great pleasure in watching recognition dawn in the old cow’s beady eyes, but in any event there’s a hacking noise and then the old man’s coughing out a bone into his plate as todoroki steps noiselessly back from the table.

“he’s fine now. enjoy your dinner.”

“god, that was gross,” katsuki says, as they ignore the woman’s sputtering and return to their seats. todoroki tilts her head. 

“not really. if he’d thrown up it would have been.”

“not the choking guy,” katsuki scoffs, casting a glance back his way. “his wife. talk about theatrics.”

“she seemed more afraid of us than her husband dying.”

“for good reason,” katsuki mutters darkly, spreading out in her chair. “i hate civilians.”

“i don’t think she recognised us,” todoroki counters, pensive, and absent-mindedly takes a bite of the weird soup before she screws her face up like a betrayed kid. “oh. you didn’t say it was sweet.”

the look on her face thoroughly distracts katsuki from asking what other reason the pearl-clutcher could possibly have to be so terrified at the mere sight of them; instead, she chokes back a laugh, stifling a grin. “what are you, five?”

“i don’t think i like this,” todoroki says, mournful, which makes katsuki grin harder. she can’t help it- todoroki looking stupid is her kryptonite. 

“then don’t pick a restaurant where you can’t read the menu, next time.”

todoroki’s midway to looking up, but for some reason her expression transforms instantaneously, which makes katsuki reflexively try to quash her amusement. todoroki always gets weird when she’s smiling. 

“next time?”

motherfuck. obviously she didn’t mean next time like next time, she meant next time like- hypothetically, in the future, when todoroki’s on a lunch date with someone else. a lunch non-date. she’s just about stopped sputtering furiously long enough to try and express this sentiment when it occurs to her that todoroki seems- pleased, one eye soft sky-blue when katsuki accidentally meets it, and that draws her up short long enough that she ends up just muttering lamely to herself. fucking todoroki. 

on the heels of this utter embarrassment, she downs the rest of her water, scowls in a neat 180 at everything in sight, and wonders for the first time in her life how the fuck extras get through dates. not that this is one.

it’s fine. they’re done eating, and no one’s died, and katsuki is no longer fifteen and thus mostly trusts her ego to lick its wounds and recover from the ordeal. even if they stick around for desert that’s only another half hour of this to endure. as long as todoroki doesn’t make any sudden moves they’ll be fine.

...the problem is, of course, that sudden moves are todoroki’s modus operandi. katsuki has not forgotten the bitch calling them friends on national television in the same breath that she was vociferously denying them being anything of the sort. in todoroki’s fucked up brain, they’re always ten steps ahead of whatever they actually are- considering katsuki’s come around to privately acknowledging she’d take a couple more stakes through the gut for the asshole, in todoroki’s world they're practically hitched.

platonically. platonically practically hitched. this is not a thing, goddamnit. no matter the weird looks aizawa’s been giving them, or utsushimi’s nefarious schemes, or the alarming cardiopulmonary condition katsuki’s been developing of late. she’s not some shitty yuri protagonist pining over the nearest female bishōnen in her vicinity.

admittedly if she was to pine over anyone it sure as fuck wouldn’t be some guy, but that’s besides the point, since pretty damn near every person on earth is just some guy by her standards, regardless of gender. the fact that todoroki is not one of said people is entirely irrelevant.

her internal irritation is so distracting that she misses the tremors nearby until entirely too late, by which point todoroki’s stupidly perfect brows raise an incremental fraction and she goes: ‘oh’.

when todoroki goes ‘oh’, some shit is about to go down. 

katsuki turns slowly with an impending sense of doom, and sure enough, the sight that greets her is so nightmarish she seriously reconsiders whether the entire day has been just that. 

“don’t freak out,” a giant building-sized deku booms, apologetically, as his hideous giant face stares at them. “it’s just a quirk thing.”

it’s probably a good thing katsuki has gone speechless with outrage, since it permits todoroki’s constantly composed ass to ask useful questions katsuki probably would have coated in a fair amount more threats and cursing.

“midoriya. i didn’t know you were in tokyo.”

“well, i wasn’t meant to be,” deku says/booms like a foghorn, as the restaurant clientele shrieks and stampedes behind them. his sheepish expression is even more punchable when magnified. “it’s a long story. it’s almost sorted out now, though. i just saw you guys from over at the NPA office and thought i’d come ask if you maybe wouldn’t mind lending a hand? i wouldn’t ask but there’s going to be a lot of cleanup and your quirks would be really helpful to-”

“we’ll do it as long as you shut the fuck up,” katsuki yells, to cut him off, massaging her temples. “the monologuing’s bad enough when you’re not about to burst my fucking eardrums, jackass.”

“oh, sorry! i’m trying to be very quiet but this body’s just hard to get used to- thank you so much for helping, i didn’t mean to come bother you on break...”

“it’s fine,” todoroki says, and then seems to realise that her monotone doesn’t reach midoriya’s giant-ass ears and clears her throat, raising her voice to a shout. “it’s fine. let me go deal with the bill and then we’ll go.”

“sorry?” midoriya whisper-shouts, craning his monstrous head closer to them, the sight of which will haunt katsuki for the rest of her life. “i can’t hear what you’re saying!”

“she said she’s going to go pay for our nice fucking lunch,” katsuki hollers, with no small sense of satisfaction, as deku winces and todoroki slinks off. “since you want to come crashing it like a dipshit.”

“sorry, kacchan!” deku begs off, flapping hand gestures creating enough wind to knock over a nearby umbrella stand. “i just thought it would be a lot of help if you came to oversee the fall-out- especially with the building damage-”

“we’re good,” todoroki announces, to katsuki, apparently having given up on matching her in decibels. she’s got that classic hero look on her face, already in work mode, but just when katsuki’s about to do the same and jump into action, the look wavers a little and she frowns vaguely awkwardly. “thanks for doing lunch.”

“huh?” katsuki stutters, thrown, and then scowls at nothing in particular, stalling. todoroki’s the one who paid, albeit indirectly- it’s typically weird of her to be all formal about it all of a sudden, leaving katsuki to attempt to wriggle them out of the awkwardness of the moment. “i didn’t do shit except show up and eat, weirdo.”

“it’s been abnormally hard to show up and eat in the circumstances,” todoroki replies, a little wryly, and more concerningly a little resigned sounding. which is just unnatural, because todoroki may have expanded her range of emotions considerably since first year but resignation is not on her usual roster, and there’s nothing to be resigned about unless she had some kind of vested interest in this whole fiasco playing out any better than it did.

which she didn’t, obviously. katsuki’s been through this. she chose the nearest possible venue and rocked up in jeans and a t-shirt, and- and why is the fact that todoroki never dresses so normally out of class only now occurring to her, again?

she’d said ‘i think this is the part where we do small talk’. the part of what?

“yeah, whatever,” katsuki says, automatically, as her brain plays catch-up, which is the excuse she will forever stick to for what leaves her mouth next. “should have known you’d be a lousy date.”

todoroki goes ‘what?’ at the same moment deku does, ten times louder and more bug-eyed, which reminds katsuki that 1) deku is still there, 2) deku is still as big as his martyr complex, and 3) deku is the fucking worst, and allowing him to trap her into friendship is somehow responsible for this, she’s sure of it. 

“can we go handle this fucking mess or what?” katsuki snaps, instead of screaming or breaking deku’s very large nose or maybe self-immolating in abject humiliation, hands erupting into explosions as she jumps onto the balcony railing. maybe if she throws herself headfirst into the debris she’ll concuss herself and turn amnesiac. 

“um,” deku is saying, when she turns a withering glare his way. “um, yes! yes! yeah! let’s go do that!”

so she jumps skywards, explosions blasting her high into the air, and very scrupulously does not look towards the sounds of slick ice forming just behind her until todoroki skates into her peripheral vision, hair waving flag-like behind her. ahead there’s a building with a crater clean through it where deku must have erupted from, though when she turns to comment she finds him a fair deal behind them, lumbering pace slowed further as he avoids stepping on anyone or anything along the streets. instead her eyes lock on todoroki’s where the latter is staring at her, face unreadable, and she bristles hard enough to disrupt trajectory, correcting course rapidly before she plummets into an office.

“what?”

“i’m a lousy date,” todoroki repeats, neutrally, over the wind. katsuki grits her teeth.

“and what about it?”

she’s bracing for a lot, but not the horrible, sickening eye-crinkle thing todoroki does, dark eye twinkling even as her expression stays carefully impassive. “you think you can do better, then?”

“hah?”

“next time,” todoroki intones, very precisely, and then dips ahead like a complete coward as katsuki goes a color never previously visible to the human eye, sifting through about fifteen emotions before she decides to stick to outrage.

“what the hell? you suck at asking people out, icyhot!”

“you don’t have to say yes.”

“what, you think i can’t do better than this mess? you’re on, asshole.”

“i look forward to it,” todoroki says, gravely, and then there’s a collapsed building to handle and shit to do and if anyone wants to ask why katsuki is so especially gleeful in blowing shit up they wisely keep their mouths shut. she just likes the job, all right.

(for the record, it’s still not a date until katsuki says it is.)

[ichayalovesyou]

Wrath of Khan (live reaction):

I literally haven’t seen this movie in 10+ years

Who is SHE? 😍 ohhhh she’s a cadet taking the Kobiyashi Maru! I’ve only seen this in the crappy far too shiny AOS “irl is a bad boy he don’t follow rules edgy boi” version. I like this better!

Bones you are SUCH a drama queen “what about my performance? 😘”

“Aren’t you dead” JESUS JIM only if u knew. Also awwww they’re so contented with each other now oh my god HAPPY BIRTHDAY 😍 they’re so married omfg

Jim is like “*mumble grumble* I don’t wanna be in my 40s” like most people don’t make captain before that age 🙄😂

Man, legitimately, Bones has great fashion sense, he has the least weird outfits over the course of the films lol.

Pavel is a commander now?! God they grow up so fast ☺️ also man, he totally adopted some of Spock’s mannerisms and I frickin love that.

Oh my god it’s Jim’s kid! David! Oof that vibe when your boy is a divorced dad :/

Wait a frickin minute KYLE? As in transporter chief Lieutenant Kyle??? Hello?!?!

Pav must’ve been serving as a not-helmsman on the Enterprise to have encountered Khan. Also love that pat least one of the aux crew getting more screen time seriously good for Chekov!!

The ear worms used to scare the fucking SHIT out of me as a kid, still give me the willies! Please don’t torture my boy pavel please please oh god ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ewwwwwww!!!!!!

Gang’s back together! Also Saavik & Spock gossiping about Spock’s husband in Vulcan is 10 out of freakin 10 😂😂😂. So is it canon then that the Vulcans pluck their eyebrows to be like this } cuz Saavik (and Tuvok’s occasionally) look pretty “human” (also I FREAKING LOVE HER)

Ooof a salt from Kirk about Carol ive seem that before!! Yikes!!!!

Time for Jim and Spock to chat and bicker like the loving married we know they are ☺️ “commanding a starship is your first and best calling” “I have been and always shall be yours” 🥰

“Have Dr. McCoy join us in our quarters” I KNEW IT THEY ARE SO MARRIED.

I love these three and their bickering omg.

“Revenge is a dish best served cold, and it is very cold in space” damn Khan, giving me chills. OH MY GOD THEY JUST SHOT THE ENTERPRISE. Jim over here tryna sacrifice himself as usual.

Awwww Jim needs reading glasses that is freaking adorable actually.

Everyone is suddenly, violently reminded that they’re crew is literally a bunch of teenagers ohhhhh wow even Spock is noticeably upset 😢 oh god that kid’s blood is still on Jim’s uniform oh jeezus 😭 poor Scotty ohhhhhh wow.

“Jim be careful” “WE will” these idiots my god I love them so much.

Well that’s a very well laid trap. “KHAN!!!” Also awww Jim still called Chekov Pavel/Pav. Made respect that his loyalty was so insanely strong it made him eject the scary ass ear worm.

I mean, I’m not a fan of how she treats Jim, but Carol Marcus is actually pretty cool. “I’ve got a lot to lose.” He says after calling his husband Spock.

Man this fight is BALLER!!

Oh god the dreaded moment has come! Let me knock you out and put my soul inside you so I can go sacrifice my self laterrrrrr

Khan is a fucking AMAZING villiain, some raw final lines!!

Ohhhhhh goddddd knowing that there’s three more movies doesn’t make this hurt any less ohhhhhh goddddd 😭😭😭

Awwwww reconciliation with David, ohhhhhhh that’s gonna fucking HURT later ohhhh GOD 😭😭😭

Ow that take cities quote ow ow ow ow ow

OW NIMOY’S VOICEOVER AT THE END I DIDNT NEED WHAT WAS LEFT OF MY PULVERIZED HEART ITS FINE! 💔

I once read a post, saying if you operated under the assumption that Jim and Spock are married the whole time, it wouldn’t change the narrative of the show (or at least the movies) one bit... and they are absolutely right. Ow...

[justalokifanaccount]

Episode 4-Play by Play Reactions (Spoilers)

(I accidentally spoiled a major part for myself by browsing tumblr after the episode aired but before I watched it because I’m dumb)

I’m watching this on my TV and not my phone this time so I’m excited

Previously on… the show I’ve been obsessed with months before it released. As if I need reminding lol.

Friggin marvel opening gotta remind me of Tony snapping every episode

Interesting watching this on my flatscreen cuz the show is wide screen

Oh asgard!

Little Sylvie!

Oh my gosh that would be horrifying as a kid… she just got kidnapped pretty much

“Crimes against the sacred timeline” oh for cripes sake she’s just a kid!

Oh my gosh this would be terrifying

Oh is this when Renslayer was still a hunter

Clever girl!!! She escaped before even being sentencing

There’s a lot more to Renslayer I bet

TIME KEEPERS BABY

Space lizards finna meet the business end of a pruner

Mobius yay!!!!! I’ve missed him!

And what’s so bad with different branches?

Oh is that hunter locked up?

Oh nvm

That “how?” from Mobius is the closest thing we will get to hearing him say “wow” in this show and that makes me sad.

Dawn of the Final Day

Aha iconic promo scene!

Serious Loki moment?

“The universe wants to break free so it manifests chaos like me being born the goddess of mischief.”

I don’t believe C-20 is actually dead

Soooo does Loki not still have the tesseract? Or are we gonna get a silly clown Loki moment of “OHHHH I FORGOT I HAD THIS.”

“Do you think what makes a Loki a Loki is the fact that we’re destined to lose?”

“No. We may lose. Sometimes painfully. But we don’t die. We survive.”

Please don’t romance them

This is sweet and sad

Don’t kiss please don’t

What set them off? How did they find him?

He really should have an equal amount of security

Mobius shut up.

Bad friend? Oops

Uh oh

TELL HIM THE TRUTH LOKI DO IT

Oh? Asgard?

Uh oh

Lmao

Bully Sif

Ouch

Poor Loki

Ohhhhhh lmao time loop of being beaten up by Sif… ouchie

Cmon Loki fight back.

Or break her mind lol

Loki don’t fall for it— ahhhh ok

Ouchie

Controlling woman huh

Easiest to break huh? Shut up Ravonna

Titans? (Lmao please tell me they arrested a variant Thanos)

Vampires??? Hinting at a Blade reboot????

Hunter B-15 knows something is up

Oh my gosh Loki real moment confessing to Sif “because I’m scared of being alone.”

Genuine or??? Is she gonna throw him? Poor Loki…. “You are alone. And you always will be.”

Mobius you scumbag. That’s literally torture.

Mobius shut up

Mobius shut up. You don’t know the real Loki.

Oh so even they don’t know what caused it

Now Loki is lying just to avoid being hit by Sif

Oh no. He thinks she’s gone. Loki can’t lie very well when he’s sad.

No not swooning… please don’t ship them I beg you.

Not romance please stop no.

MOBIUS SHUT THE HELL UP

Please don’t make it romantic please please please please

SHES NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND PLEASE SHUT UP

YEA LOKI TELL HIM THE TRUTH

Maybe he had a family, a life… maybe… maybe a jetskii?

Mobius shut up.

Shut up about “girlfriend”

Yea Mobius. Let it stew. You’re a liar.

That Hunter B-15 is onto something.. OH YEA SHE WAS ENCHANTED FOR A BRIEF MOMENT TOO

SHE MUST BE REMEMBERING SOMETHING

Theremin. Nice.

Odd music choice for a date I gotta say.

How much older is Owen Wilson than Gugu Mbatha Raw? (Googling) Owen Wilson is 52… Gugu is 38

Mobius is onto something. But I’m still mad at him.

“What we do here matters.” Doubt

Friendzoned

What trophy?

Oh the sword

SNEAKY MOBIUS SWITCHING THE REMOTES NYAHAHAHA

He’s not the best liar tho

For all time. Always. Doubt

She knows he’s lying.

Hunter B-15 interrogating Sylvie at Roxxcart

Yea Sylvie tell her!

FRIENDS? Please?

Oh my gosh poor Hunter B-15…

Hug?

Team up?

Yay???

Damn C-20 really is dead?

Funny with all that technology but that video looks like my old handheld game from like 2010 that I bought from Walmart.

Mobius having an existential crisis. Good.

Please stop hinting at a romance between them…

Friends yay!

Renslayer you scum…

Uh oh

Maybe he had a Jet Skii!

NO

NO

LOKI JUST LOST ANOTHER FRIEND

Renslayer I will revel in your demise

“But she’s just doing her job.” Shut up. She saw what Hunter C-20 said…

Loki is crying again… he just made another friend and he’s gun… HE NEEDS TO COME BACK. If Mobius is gone forever I will never forgive the TVA.

Awww she asked if he’s okay… I’m still praying only friends. Please nothing more.

What was the event? Come on Renslayer. You remember you crap hole.

Oh my. Time keepers??? Aha this IS where the stairs on the wall and a fight breaks out.

Lmao that one time keeper sounds like a dopey dog from a cartoon.

YEA HUNTER B-15 I LOVE YOU

Oh that’s how Loki gets that cut

Now he has a sword babyyyy

Renslayer I hate you

Loki help her!

Oh nvm she’s good

Child of the time keepers?

I KNEW IT

JUST ROBOT PUPPETS!!! ITS ALL A TRICK

So… who’s really in control???

Seeing Loki in this blue light… cmon give me Jötunn Loki.

Where’s hunter b-15?

Don’t confess love pease I beg you

Please please please don’t romance them. For all that is good in this world.

Oh gosh

Hug?

Please just hug

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

WHAT????

PRUNE HER DO IT

Loki?????

What???? NOOOOO

HE CANT BE GONE!!! We still haven’t gotten that scene where he has the flaming sword!!!!!!!! Pruning HAS to not kill them please!!!!!!!!!

Dammit I KNEW something would happen. They had their backs turned to them and it was too quiet.

LOKI BETTER NOT BE GONE I SWEAR TO GOD MY HEART CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH AGGHHHHHHHHH

I’ve seen him die too many damn times agahahshehhdheiebdusienenridiehehejd

And now the credit song has love in it

I really really hope they don’t have some sort of self-cest between Loki and Sylvie…

POST CREDIT SCENE WHAT????

LOKI YES

OH MY GOSH THANK GOD HES ALIVE

Oh

My

Gosh

MY JAW JUST DROPPED

ALL THE OTHER LOKIS

SO WHAT THE HELL DOES PRUNING DO?????

WE GOT KID LOKI, BLACK LOKI, OLD COMIC LOKI, AND EVEN A FRIGGIN CROCODILE LOKI LIKE WHAT???????

And what is black loki (I feel bad for calling him just that but I don’t know his name DX) holding? And what is old comic Loki holding?

What is this place that looks apocalyptic??? Why are they all here?

WHAT IS HAPPENING

THIS IS MY FAVORITE EPISODE YET AGGHHHHHHHHH

SO IS MOBIUS STILL ALIVE THEN????

IS EVERYONE WHO HAS BEEN PRUNED STILL ALIVE?

Is each pruned person sent to a place with all the other variants of themselves???

I HAVE TOO MANY QUESTIONS

NO WONDER TOM HIDDLESTON SAID POOR LOKI IN THESE EPISODES

My biggest concerns now are: how on earth are they going to wrap this up in only two more episodes? And PLEASE DONT ROMANCE SYLVIE AND LOKI!!! I mean, I get it… if Loki should fall in love who better than his parallel. She’s different enough from him to have it not be too weird I guess, but it’s still a variant version of him. And it seems a little too forced. Like sure a crush maybe, but don’t you dare say love when they’ve only known each other for like a couple days.

My mind is melting. I’m so glad I waited to watch this in the morning instead of at night so I could appreciate it in all its glory.

BUT NOW I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER WEEK AGGHHHHHHH

Oh and is Hunter B-15 okay? We saw her get knocked down but that was it. She didn’t appear in the rest of the fight.

AND WHO MADE THE TIME KEEPERS????

IS IT KANG? IS IT…… MEPHISTO??? WHOOOOOOOOOOOO?????

Gonna go browse tumblr to cry and reblog gifs from the episode to help me cope until next week.

[dongjus-sparkle]

Ok. Im officially starting my SVSSS read through. Enjoy my useless commentary and sheer confusion.

SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY.

Chap 1- Chap 4

■Chapter 1■

• OK wow this was a hard one for me to start. I re-read the first chapter like a million times trying to figure out the plot. (To be fair this the the only MXTX book i didn't see any adaptation at least a bit of before reading)

• I think I understand. Basically Shen Yuan read this crazy book about Luo Binghe's crazy life and kinda hated it because it was ridiculous. And then he dies??? And then is brought by some system to the world of the book in the body of Shen Qingqiu. And the system is making him fix the story while not changing the character. WOW THATS A LOT TO PROCESS. 🤯

• Wow MXTX has a thing for mistreated kids falling to the dark path huh.

• Ahhhh Shen Qingqiu is such a dickkkkk. But I am already loving Shen Qingqiu/Shen Yuen as the narrator. He's super smart catching onto everything so quick and playing his role.

■Chapter 2■

• Can you imagine knowing who is going to die and when, including yourself?

• Is Shen Qingqiu really that jealous of Luo Binghe's cultivation. Why literally beat and torture a kid. I get why he's the scum villan

•"Ensure the protagonist’s coolness" 😎 HAHA nice. The system has its priorities straight.

• "This protagonist was too excellent, he almost could not hold it in!" OH REALLY. Casual.

• Shen Qingqiu had his limbs removed originally. Owwwwwwwwwwwwww.

■Chapter 3■

• It would be so cool to all a suden be in a high level cultivator's body even if you had to figure out how to use your powers. 🗡

• Oh my god. I need character descriptions to pop up in to real world too.

• "The original Shen Qingqiu had designs on Ning Yingying." 🤢 didn't they just say that she's like 13.

•They misstaught Luo Binghe how to cultivate of purpose. Talk about jealously.

■Chapter 4■

• Its wild how much Shen Qingqiu already knows. Like about the whole story of the jade pendent and how important is is to Luo Binghe.

•That punch straight to Ming Fan's face was primo. 👊

• -10 points for the leaf knife isn't too bad 🍃

• +100 points for intelligence! I feel like it'll be a big deal when Shen Qingqiu finally is able to give Luo Binghe his pendent back.

•OHHHH Binghe is smart.

[lonelyghosts-stuff]

Avengers Infinity War-First Time Watching Reaction Play-by-Play (Pt. 2)

Part 1

I wonder how many people Gamora has killed? What made her finally snap to not serve Thanos anymore?

How DID Gamora find it? Like, who told her?

How did Thanos capture nebula?

Poor nebula. She’s literally been through hell and back.

Ohhhh she snuck on board...

Thanos you suck so much. You favor one daughter over another.

Oh. Where was said map to the soul stone?

Gosh I feel so damn bad for nebula. She was raised as his daughter too but he tortured her and tore her apart. Nebula never had the chance to be her equal. She deserves so much.

Taught groot as an elective? What about all speak?

Buckle up rocket. It’s gonna get emotional.

Thor is literally all alone. He needs a time to sit alone and cry and break a whole building.

Rocket and Thor friends? Please

1500 years old? Jane, honey, you escaped.

Gotta give it up to Hemsworth’s acting chops here. Especially talking to nobody in reality. Just a bunch of cgi

Ew ew ew eye socket

Should have washed that yikes

Snuck it out by hiding it up your? Huh? You watch too many movies rocket.

Huge title card. Thank you. I wouldn’t have known where we were despite them saying their location many times.

How is that video game battery not dead?

Perceptive rabbit

I LOVE that they used a dwarf to play a giant character!!! This is brilliant! (And that dwarves are giant for some reason lol.)

Soooo again Thanos killed everyone EXCEPT Eitri despite his “morality” supposedly being balance

Poor hands

Poor nebula

Smart nebula

Maybe should have waited to be fixed fully first

Ah crap. SOMEONE PICK UP THE SPACE PHONE

MANTIS

Love how Stark asks for peters help in steering and not Stephen lmao

Nice parking job

Peter, stop popping pop culture refs

Lmao ITS ABOUT TO BE THE ICONIC SCENE

YES PLEASE

Blanket of Death. Capey has a new nickname.

Where’s Gamora

Who’s Gamora

Why is Gamora

What master do you serve?

Jesus?

I mean, yea I do. So does Pratt lmaoo.

LMAO PARKER’S FACE WHEN QUILL SAID THOR WASNT HANDSOME

Storm breaker time baby

“In theory it could summon the bifrost” who theorized this? How do you only theorize and not know?

Oh my gosh mantis is just bouncing around

Mr. Clean lmao

Kick names, take ass

Hey now, these guys saved the galaxy and universe from Ego so lmao

Oh no I know the scene coming up

Poor quill lmao

“I’m half human. So the 50% of me that’s stupid, that’s 100% of you.” “Your math is, blowing my mind.” What’s funny is that Quill’s math was actually completely accurate lol

Stephen having a stroke or a seizure? You good homie?

Soooo if Strange looked to the future and so possible outcomes, what does that mean for the TVA? According to them, there’s ONE sacred timeline, so all other branches are erased (which again messes up what smart hulk eventually says in end game. See kids, this is why you don’t mess with time travel in stories. There’s no way to go back in time without creating a time loop). Ehhhhh I’ll let it slide. Just ignore it... sigh... I can’t help it if I’ve studied paradoxes

Hmmmm not good odds I’ve gotta say...

Watch like, outside of the millions of realities that strange saw, there were like a million or billion more he missed where they won with no casualties lol

Hey Red Skull. Long time no see. How did he get here anyways and why?

Yea you’re prepared all right...

Gotta say, Lord Elrond has seen better days

I’m not ready to say good bye to this Gamora. Gamora and Loki and Nat go down as my favorite characters, gotta say. I know that Tony does and it’s sad, but his feels more satisfying because his sacrifice directly results in them winning. Loki is murdered. Gamora is murdered. Nat died just for a stepping stone for the avengers. She has no idea whether or not they will actually win in the end.

I’m hopeful they may bring Nat back like in the comics, red room clone style.

We got back vision, Loki (kinda), variant Gamora, a new captain America, why not Nat? Yea we have a prequel, but gosh I love her so much.

“You must lose that which you love.” Couldn’t that apply to like an object or something? Could I not throw my Nintendo switch over the cliff? Or my dog? (I would hate that just as much as a person, don’t get me wrong, I’m just curious about the rules)

Yea boohoo sad for Thanos... loses his favorite daughter. I don’t care about him. He deserves suffering.

Poor Gamora doesn’t think he’s willing to do it.. GIRL RUN!!!

Thanos deserves all the suffering.

He does love you Gamora... but that love... it’s selfish. It’s blind... Thanos seems to be a chaotic vigilante who is narrowminded, tunnel vision on his goal with no regards of the cost. But he is evil. If there is ever an alternate route to an end that doesn’t result in the loss of innocent lives, and you know that but you willingly choose the once that costs innocent lives, that is an evil decision. Maybe Thanos isn’t evil, but he’s not good. Far from it. He’s obsessed with this idyllic Utopia but he rushes to one method of getting there. Yes, people suffer. It sucks... it’s unfair... it’s horrible. But it is never the right of someone else to dictate whether or not said person would be better off dead. Who lives, who dies. If Thanos truly was neutral and not selfish, he would have thrown his own life into the mix of the potential 50/50 snap. Thanos is not good. He’s not misunderstood. He’s a murderer. A genocidal cult leader. I have no tears for him. Only for those who suffered more at his hands.

Rant over, time to try not to cry about Gamora...

Her face of realization

Gamora run please

Thanos, I hate you. (Great character her, but not a good person)

Poor Gamora

Oh my gosh the emotion here is great but I’ve heard this sound used as a meme on TikTok too many times aghhhh

Gamora!

What a way to die

I’m crying again. I miss her already...

Who the hell designed this place and put the stone here???? Who did this?

Cry Thanos. Suffer. My only comfort here is that you are sad. You deserve suffering. You really do...

The TVA is laughing here and I’m not okay..

Poor Peter Quill... he’s also lost a lot like Thor, but has had the “luck” of not knowing his family too close.

Wakanda babyyyy

No, you don’t want Starbucks, you want Dutch bros

Lmao I love rhodey. Poor Bruce.

BUCKY BUCKY BUCKY

HUG

NO CMON HAVE A LONG HUG

MALE FRIENDSHIPS ARE SO IMPORTANT.

Yea Shuri show em up.

Okay quick pause, I love love LOVE how Shuri is smarter. It’s a powerful moment for females BUT it’s not done in a way that’s condescending to males! It’s not saying women power because men bad, she’s just good! (And she has had access to technology they never could have but I digress). More of this please Hollywood. Don’t let being a female be the power. I don’t want strong female characters, I want strong characters who happen to be female. Ones who hold their own, have faults like anyone else, struggle, have weaknesses and strengths, but are strong without putting down others. Just a comment, just because a woman character may not be as strong as a man character, that is not saying she’s weak. If you’re the second strongest human in the world, you are NOT weak. You’re just not as strong as the strongest human ever, but that’s nothing against you. LET WOMEN STAND ON THEIR OWN MERITS WITHOUT SEX AFFECTING THEM!

Anyways

I love Shuri

I wish they had more time. She definitely could have done it. But stupid Thanos

Ughhhghhg

I know what many scenes are upcoming... with quill and peter and vision and everyone else

Let👏🏻Bucky👏🏻Have👏🏻Peace👏🏻

Thank you Nat!!! I love that Nat is so protective and selfless.

GET THIS MAN A SHIELD

Bucky needs love please. He’s my stand in, manipulated, greasy, long haired, dark and mysterious, stabby boy. (Also I need Bucky and Loki to meet. But let Loki finish his show (and come out of it alive because if he doesn’t I will sue) and be the antihero hero we need. Please. If he doesn’t get reintroduced into the mcu as a hero I will sue.

Thor, sweetie, are you a masochist?

Back to wakanda

Oh no, bad CGI, floating head Bruce banner. I’ll let it slide... sigh....

Can’t like, you just rain bombs on them forever?

JIBARI TRIBE YEA BOYYYYY

Sorry Proxima Midnight, you look like a frog and your name sounds like a middle schooler’s OC.

How nice. Diplomatic meeting.

“Thanos will have nothing but dust and blood.” Reeeeeeally wish you didn’t say that, T’Challa...

Yay big CGI battle commence! It’s like a really expensive animated cartoon at this point

WAKANDA FOREVER!

Poor Bucky. Forgot this dude doesn’t know much about the modern world.

Ahhhh Kamikazi aliens

I just wanna say that I love that Wakanda still has the artistic culture in their clothing and tradition all the while having badass, super advanced technology.

Why can’t they just rain bombs down the whole fight lol. Rhodey has those super nice bombs, like, do that they he whole time? Please? Why do you not have a barrier around the entire king.

No M’Baku, it’s not the end of wakanda. But half of all life, yea

WAKANDA FOREVER YEAAAAAAA

They should honesty all have nano tech suits like black panther lol. Or iron man suits. Fine maybe the most powerful one with the best quality material for the king, but besides that, yknow.

Wow Steve is hot with a beard.

So much happening at once. Thor, Wakanda, Vormir, Knowhere, am I missing anything?

Okay, but what IS the full force of a star? Like in Newton’s or something? Juls? Is it heat?

What’s this metal? How does it fare with vibranium?

Get off your wooden butt, groot.

“He needs the axe” are you Thor, the god of axes?

Soooo, I thought Thor didn’t NEED the hammer, it just helped him concentrate his powers or act as a conduit. Is that retconned already?

Cmon groot, put down your game. Soooo, is Groot worthy? He technically lifted it. Or is it a technicality because it wasn’t fully finished yet?

Cmon bucky, use that fancy arm of yours.

Wow they’re getting destroyed.

They need wanda to help.

BADASS ENTRANCE BABYYYY

How did Thor know to come to wakanda?

Floaty head Bruce

“BRING ME THANOS!”

Ahhhhhahahaha yeaaaaaa

Cry Thanos. Do it. I hate you.

Much more of a purple grape nutsack.

Oh gosh... I know what Peter Quill is going to do. I still don’t hate him.

“With all six stone I would simply snap my fingers. They would all cease to exist.” Orrrr, now hear me out, I know I sound like a broken record now but... MAYBE DOUBLE THE RESOURCES INSTEAD?? That’s not mercy. That’s not up to you to decide whether or not someone’s better off dead.

Smoosh

Yea quill has experience with the power stone

AIM FOR THE HEAD

Cmon it’s basic zombie tactics

I love peter quill lmao

Go capey!!!

Magic with a kick!

Poor Peter

CAPEY NOOOOOO

Wow he’s OP

Ouch quill just got majorly clotheslined

NEBULA

“Where’s Gamora?” 😭😭😭 SHE CARES AGHHHH

Restrain him! Work it mantis!!!

Why even remove the gauntlet, just slit his throat... kill him....

Quill no... stop being cocky...

Oh no

Quill please don’t

JUST SLIT THANOS’ THROAT

Quill please....

Poor quill. Just lost the person who really really loved him

Okay, I still love star lord. Idc what others think. He reacted realistically. If you hate peter quill for how he reacted, you better also hate Tony Stark for how he reacted to bucky when he learned bucky killed his parents despite knowing for a fact that bucky was brainwashed. Yes it was annoying... yes they were so close, but quill is so human here. I don’t hate him. He gets too much hate for acting like any normal person would have. Distraught, grief filled, he lost his love. Someone who helped him open up and finally move on from his mother’s death and fathers villainy.

Spider man saving mantis gives me life

How did that power stone blast not kill them?

Clearly Thanos has played Majora’s Mask. At least he has good taste.

So close vision.... but I know... I know what happens.

YES BUCKY AND ROCKET GUN CIRCLE.

Lmao give rocket Bucky’s old arm.

“I am Groot.” “I am Steve Rogers.” Comedy gold

Cmon Thor, go after the big one first.

Cmon wanda, save them. We need some scarlet witch magic up here to stop these

Okay that was so cool. AND THEN SHE USED THE BLADES

Oh no but now Shuri is alone

So close yet so far.... Dangit... vision was almost good

Ouch. Bonk to the head

YEA BLACK WIDOW

BADASS TIME

AND OKOYE!!

LETS GOOOOOOO

BADASS WOMEN

Ouch poor vision

Cmon Thor back up vision

Please

Hulk is in his feels

Cmon hulk grow up

Ooooh smart move banner

Aaaaand he’s gone

Giant blade look oit

Corvus, screw off.

YEA STEVE

WHERE IS THOR WHEN YOU NEED HIM

CMON NAT

Oh dang. Nice one wanda. But also, sheesh. Helluva way to go. But no big.

Yea vision. Stabby time.

Now vision and Steve, kiss.

Spider man saving everyone’s lives.

YEA STRANGE

Where was this in New York???

MULTIPLYING

WHY DIDNT YOU DO THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE????

Oh no

Well then... ouch. Soooo where’s the real stone???

Hey look Tony, you have a fan.

Okay I’m just pissed odd they didn’t just kill Thanos when they had him subdued. Like, worry about the glove AFTER he’s not longer a threat

Oof

Tony is taking a beating

HE WAS STABBED

WHAT

I don’t want your respect Thanos. That’s an insult.

They will remember him. They will remember him Thanos. When he kills you.

DOCTOR STRANGE WHAT?

You really doing this??? I guess he knows what needs to unfold for them to win... dang. I wouldn’t trust him tho.

Peter Quill in berserker mode

Where’d he go?

Name dropping the second movie

Strange knows everything about to go down. Who dies, who lives, what Thanos is about to do... he’s accepting his soon dusted demise because Stark needs to live...

AIM FOR THE HEAD UGHHHHH

Stop teleporting. That’s Loki’s gimmick.

KILL THIS RAISIN LOOKING NUTSACK UGH

Homie way too OP

Poor wanda and Vis...

HER LIP TREMBLE

PHENOMENAL ACTING

SAY I LOVE YOU

I JUST FEEL YOU

AGGHHHH IM CRYING AGAIN

Poor wanda. To have to kill her love... this.. this is a sacrifice Thanos... not your murder....

Wow Steve is holding back Thanos with pure brute

WANDA IS SO STRONG

HOLDING BACK THANOS WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY BREAKING THE MIND STONE

I LOVE YOU

AGHHHHHHHHH

And I know what happens next...

Poor wanda

Piss off thanos you understand nothing

You lost more than she could know? Bull crap. You are causing everyone to lose...

Cruel reality. Wanda has to see him die twice. RIP Vision

RIP half of all life...

AIM FOR THE DAMN HEAD

IF THOR KILLED HIM THEY COULD HAVE USED THE GAUNTLET TO BRING EVERYONE BACK TO LIFE. USED THE TIME STONE TO REVIVE THEM ALL.

How did that not kill Thanos tho. It may not have been a head shot but still.

Lil Gamora

What is this place?

Is this the soul realm?

Thanos, I hope you suffer forever. You deserve all the pain...

Rest In Peace: Vision, Loki, Bucky, T’Challa, Groot, Wanda Maximoff, Sam Wilson, Mantis, Drax, Peter Quill, Dr. Strange, Peter Parker (I don’t feel so good), and everyone else...

Thank you Nebula.

Thanos, you do NOT deserve to retire peacefully—wipe that smile off of your face

Oop, Rest In Peace Maria Hill and Nick Fury too... Motherfu— (so close Sammy boy...)

Yea Thanos you didn’t really think that through. Much more than half will died since other people rely on other peoples lives

Good thing he hit that button last minute huh? I wonder how captain marvel would fare in the TVA? are her powers considered magic? I mean, she clearly doesn’t know everything since she only just learned about Thanos (which is funny because she was supposedly traversing the universe to protect people)

Welp... onto movie two!

[the-viking-goddess]

The cheap nostalgia strikes back...

I'm pissed I'm pissed I'm pissed. Mandalorian spoilers and major crazy rant under the cut. 

So I have lived in fear of this happening literally from the beginning, of TM falling prey to the fucking black pit of nostalgia and dreading that as time went on they would slip slide into the same old shit and there would be more Jedi, more Force stuff, more deep lore, more fucking Skywalker shit. For a minute there, it seemed like my fears were misplaced. I so badly wanted to believe that it would always stay removed and uniquely creative.... and I guess fool me fucking twice. WHY did they have to do this? I was loving the episode up until the moment that fucking X wing arrived and the green saber lit up and my heart sank. I honest to god just put my head in my hand and was like 'ughhhhhhhhhhhh' for about two minutes before I could even bring myself to carry on with the episode. FUCKING WHY? I was utterly and completely heartbroken after TROS and I still am, and I have avoided anything and everything to do with the films and generally SW altogether because it's too painful. The Mandalorian was THE ONLY exception because I was already invested before TROS, and I loved it. It gave me all the warm feelings for the SW universe while being fresh and inventive and joyous, exciting and bold and really separate and independent from the films and the Skywalker saga. I loved that it touched on the edges of and skirted around things like the Force and the Jedi while remaining very removed from those things, entrenched in the world of the outer rim and really relying on the strength of its new characters and its originality. I LOVED that. It meant that, for the most part, I could still enjoy something SW without being reminded of the ST horrors (although I have spent the whole of S2 with a voice in my head reminding me that at the same moment these episodes are unfolding there is a baby Ben Solo out in the world who is already being groomed and mentally tortured and who has another 26 years or so before his life is snuffed out after endless torment and no one is going to help him).

I loved that TM could be its own thing and was wildly successful without any PT/OT characters. It didn't need them- it told its own fantastic SW story. I hoped and prayed that it would always remain independent and never slide into Skywalker territory but continue to drop in little crumbs while telling amazing, heartfelt and fun adventure stories about Din Djarin, his little green son and life in the outer rim. This should have been such a pivotal and incredible episode... and it was all about Luke Skywalker. They threw a whole season of their wonderful work away for a fucking One Screen Wonder tropey moment of 'OOhhh, who's that?? Ohhhh, X wing! Jedi robe! THE SABER! The glove! Pew pew! FORCE THINGS! The FACE REVEALL!! R2- FUCKING D2!!!!' It was so empty and hollow and ridiculous and fucking cheap, and I'm so angry and disappointed. Disney just cannot fucking let things die huh?

[tunemyart]

What do you think Gabrielles reaction would be to her work, her scrolls, being so known thousands of years in the future? I’ve always loved the implication that in the universe of the show, it’s read alongside stuff like the odyssey and Iliad. I’ve considered trying to delve onto that in a fic of my own (with the idea of using the clones as essentially them being reborn in modern times, gifted a second chance to live free of enemies and obligations)

Ohhhh you’re asking the real questions about the most metatastic layer of the show that I love!!! 

I think that Gabrielle would have some complicated and conflicting feelings about it, honestly - on one hand, heyyooo immortality! A testament to how amazing a writer she is! Something that her established ego would 1000% love. But on the other hand, we have seen how much she is unable to cede creative control of her work, and especially representations of herself, to literally anyone else, so I think seeing XWP on screen would be torturous for her in a way that is amusing to Xena but also which Xena is pretty much immediately over. 

That of course is just the creative ego side of what I think her response would be. There’s also the fact that the scrolls also are something extremely personal to her: they’re not only a chronicle of her life, they’re at their core a series of love letters to Xena. This of course is never explicitly stated in the show, but at the same time it doesn’t really need to be. (This understanding is basically my foundation for interpreting Xena’s response and general disinterest in the scrolls, at least until she finally read “Return of Callisto” in Kindred Spirits and went oh directly upon reading Gabrielle’s description of their relationship as “an ineffable mystery as immortal as the gods”, so I may be biased here, but still, y’all.) So I think there’s another layer of wow, our love is in fact so ineffable that its story has survived two millennia competing with this is too personal for anybody but me to tamper with. 

Not to mention, of course, the great shipping wars and Gabriele being faced with the entertainment world arguing over whether Xena and Gabrielle were… you know? *eyebrow waggle* and actually not finding enough evidence that they were. 

(“Oh come on, how much more do you need!” Gabrielle yells at Entertainment Weekly. Xena rolls her eyes and forcibly pulls her out of the checkout line at the grocery store.)

I actually recently wrote a response to a prompt that dealt briefly with this, e.g. the clones watching the show, but please write the fic you have inside you!!! I would love to see Xena being an ass and trolling Gabrielle with 90′s XWP fandom. I mean - do you think clone Gabrielle wrote fic of the show based on her own work to try to re-establish her “vision” all undercover-like? Bc I sure do! I’m split on whether Xena would have cared enough to go out of her way to find stuff that would have melted her brain just to mess with her (Xena/Ares? Gabrielle/Joxer? Joxer/Ares???), but I 100% believe that there would have been some doppelganger switcheroo shenanigans that would have resulted in them either acting in an episode or taking over a Lucy and Renee panel at a convention.

[tillman]

what arthurian works and/or adaptations do you NOT recommend? tell me about the bad ones. give me your hot takes

ok . ok . ok . ok . 

sorry to mobile users but this also needs a cut i have so much to say about literature . i am so sorry

ok . god where do i even start.  i think right off the bat im just gonna complain about cliges cus i hate it so much. i like ... enjoy troyes’ work you have to understand this. i bully him a lot i really do but i think his tales are like... fun ! i like them! but cliges just drags on and fucking on. he spends the first half just talking about alexander the great? and half the fucking time all he talks about his “ohhhh our love will NEVER end up like tristan and isolde :-)” like SHUT UPPP Just tell a fucking story !!!!!! shut up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just read this. like shut up oh my god. this is all about cliges

“He possessed the wood as well as the bark; he knew more of fencing and of the bow than did Tristan, King Mark's nephew, and more about birds and hounds than he.““I would rather be torn limb from limb than that men should speak of us as they speak of the loves of Iseut and Tristan...”“If I love you, and you love me, you shall never be called Tristan, nor I Iseut; for then our love would not be honourable.”"This is my answer: I will never go off with you thus; for after we had gone away, every one would speak of us as they do of Iseut the Blond and of Tristan. And everywhere all men and women would speak evil of our love.”

TROYES SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPPPP RETIRE BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

uhhhh theres that italian romance the povest pulls form in which tristan fights galehaut at the tearful town but instead of sparing him and galehaut dying of unrealted matters later tristan FUCKING KILLS HIM? AFTER HE FORGIVES HIM???? fuck that. cant even remember wihat that one is . hate that . 

the other one i will talk on is going to make some people mad but i literally despise the once and future king with my entire being. its maybe the worst book ive ever tried to read and i tried to read cliges. at least cliges you could tell troyes was having fun being rude to tristan. toafk was just t.h. whore having fun throwing in racial slurs and being a fucking asshole. i couldnt get past the orkneys introduction scene since he used the n word so many times i just like. couldnt. its so fucked up. also the unicorn scene. what the fuck. i understand writing morgause as an abusive mother the text leads itself to that interpretation but th whore what the literal fuck is wrong with you im going to take an hour to chop off your head you fucking freak. its just weird torture porn for what ive read and when it isnt its a fun game of how many times can we throw the n word on a page ! just read the idylls of the king fuck th whore i hate that man with all my being. toafk sucks ass.