#ohhhh canada

[britanniabay]

Courtesy of Canadian Heritage (2014)

[thesillyguyy]

I hear. Fireworks outside.

[worstloki]

Asking someone if they’re American and when they get all coy like how’d you know was it the accent I say yeah the accent sounds very Paraguayan

[scrollonso]

WHAT HAPPENED WITH YUKI

[muirneach]

HOLY SHIT?????????????????????????

[sunrizef1]

big reputation pt 2

Pairing: Logan Sargeant x Reader, Max Verstappen x ex!reader

Warnings: Cursing

Authors note: sorry this took so long bbgs

Pt 1 Pt 3

yourusername added to their story

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alex_albon

Friend???

Yeah, real fucking funny

yourusername

Get out of my DMs

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lilymhe

“Friend”?

Girl that's the love of your life

“Not because he owns me but because he rly knows me” or whatever

yourusername

Ah I love him 😍

lilymhe

Trust me, i know

I've seen more than I want to

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fernandoalo_official

friend?

Querida, ese hombre te ama.

yourusername

You're the third person to comment on the “friend” thing

fernandoalo_official

Porque las únicas personas que no saben que os queréis son ciegas 😂

translation: (Friend? Darling, that man loves you) (you're the third person to comment on the friend thing) (because the only people who don't know you love each other are blind)

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logansargeant

Friend???

yourusername

Oh my god

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TWITTER

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oscarpiastri

I don't appreciate being cut out of this picture

yourusername

Are you my boyfriend or his teammate

oscarpiastri

I'm his friend 😔

yourusername

you'll get an Insta story the day Im in your garage for race day

oscarpiastri

But you'd never be in my garage

yourusername

Well 🤷‍♀️

oscarpiastri

Damn 😔

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yourusername added to their story

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logansargeant

DELETE DELETE DELETE

THEYRE GONNA FIGURE OUT THATS ME AND BURN ME AT THE STAKE

yourusername

LMFAO

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MESSAGES

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yourusername

liked by logansargeant taylorswift and 31,998,776 others

yourusername guys!!!! Ive seen the support on reputation and after the year I’ve had, I’m so grateful for every person that’s listened to and supported the album. As a little present for your support, I’m going on tour!!! This is only leg 1, so if there isn’t a show near you, look out for leg 2 after this one, we’ll be visiting several more countries and cities! Tickets go on sale tomorrow at 10 AM, I can’t wait to see you all on the Reputation Stadium Tour!!! 🖤🖤🖤

load comments…

user1 YESSSSSS LETS GO

user2 omg I’m gonna be back in the trenches of Ticketmaster again

user3 I need to hear don’t blame me in a packed stadium plssss

user4 no KC????

yourusername we’ll be in kc on leg 2 100%!!!

user4 LFG!!!! Tysm bae

user5 damn she loves Vegas doesn’t she

user6 the most random schedule ever lmfao

user7 she’s going to Austria!!!! No one ever goes to Austria!!!

user8 this is the first tour I’ve seen that isn’t just entirely American cities lmfao

user9 there’s like actual European cities instead of just London lol

user10 I think I recognize the order of some of these stops…

user11 Baku is so random lmfao

user12 why does she go back and forth to the us like 4 times??? 😭

charles_leclerc can’t wait!!!!

yourusername 🫶

user13 she’s coming to Hungary 😍

logansargeant this schedule looks a bit familiar 🤔

yourusername wonder why that is 🤷🏻‍♀️

user14 these tickets are gonna be so hard to get

landonorris so which show are we all going too then

oscarpiastri from the looks of it, we could go to all of them

landonorris I might not go that far 😅

logansargeant I will 🫡

lewishamilton my votes for London n1

carlossainz I say Madrid

fernandoalo_official how about both

liked by yourusername

user15 I live in France but I will be buying tickets to Madrid and London in hopes of seeing the drivers

user16 OHHHH ITS THE F1 SCHEDULE

liked by yourusername

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yourusername

📍Toronto, Canada

liked by landonorris logansargeant and 35,998,004 others

yourusername Toronto you were absolutely electric for opening night of the Reputation Tour!!! I’m in awe of how many of you came out to support the show and I hope it lived up to your expectations! It was also nice to see some friends come out to support before their race this weekend 🫶. Thank you so much Toronto, I’ll see you guys again for Night 3!

Tagged: lilymhe alex_albon oscarpiastri landonorris fernandoalo_official georgerussel carmenmundt logansargeant

Load comments…

user17 WAIT THIS IS SO CUTE

user18 the show was so good!!!!!

user19 did yall see all the drivers hanging out in the vip tent 😭

user20 y/n kept pointing at the tent during every love song 😭😭😭

user21 it was so amazing!

landonorris what is that picture of me, I do not remember that

yourusername it’s from when your flight landed at two am and you both showed up to soundcheck at 6 am

landonorris and you decided to post that one???

yourusername it’s the only picture I have where you’re not wearing McLaren merch 🤷‍♀️

user22 wait Oscar and Lando showing up to soundcheck is kind of adorable

fernandoalo_official it was very good chica!!

yourusername thank you Nando!!!

user23 that picture of Alex and Lily is so cute

lilymhe it was so amazing, I’m so glad the schedule happens to line up so I can go to more shows!!! 🫶

yourusername you can have a reserved spot in the vip tent lils ❤️

lilymhe 😭🫶

user24 why is Logan tagged on the microphone slide??? He’s not in the slideshow but he’s tagged???

user25 slide 8 is 100% him but she just didn’t tag him, I know it

lewishamilton this is Lewis Hamilton erasure

yourusername ahhhh I’m sorry lew! I don’t have a good picture of you at the show where you’re not out of focus!

lewishamilton this is what happens when I let Fernando take pictures. Guess I’ll just have to go to more shows until I make the slideshow 🤔

yourusername you’re welcome any time, it was great to have you 🫶

user25 slide 8 is so cute 😭

logansargeant so good 😍

yourusername 🫶

user26 now why did Logan have the least to say out of anyone 🙄

user27 I’m convinced it’s because they’re sitting next to each other right now

alex_albon lilys now obsessed with the show so I’m sure you’ll be seeing a lot of us during leg 1

yourusername don’t act like you didn’t have fun as well

alex_albon oh I definitely did, I’ll have to start planning new reputation themed outfits to match the crowd

yourusername the bleached hair would match perfectly

charles_leclerc me and Alex had a wonderful time, thank you so much for inviting us!!!

yourusername it was so great to have you both supporting the show!

alexandrasaintmleux it was beautiful, mon chou!

yourusername tysm Alex ❤️

user28 all the drivers in the comments 😭

oscarpiastri Lando cried

landonorris no I didn’t stfu

yourusername there’s pictures lan

landonorris New Year’s Day is just so heartwarming 😔

yourusername dw lan, there’s also pictures of Oscar crying

oscarpiastri you know why I cried 😔 I’m just empathetic for his happiness 🙄

user29 “I’m empathetic for his happiness” okay so that’s about Logan and you can’t tell me otherwise

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lewishamilton

Honored to make it into the slideshow 🫶

yourusername

lol you’re welcome lew

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alex_albon

Why do you have a picture of me asleep

yourusername

guess

alex_albon

Lily?

yourusername

Of course

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georgerussell

I’m going to be completely honest

I was completely black out

yourusername

I could tell

Not offended

georgerussell

Hey I do remember the giant snake though

this just means I’ll have to go to more shows and remember those ones

yourusername

You and Carmen are always welcome

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landonorris

Thank you?

Not sure to reply to the small-ass text

yourusername

dw the lmfao wasn’t about you

landonorris

Yeah, I assumed lmao

Glad I could avenge you 🫡

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[yourewaytoocool]

just booked a massage for my birthday and then we‘re going to my favorite bar for drinks weeeee i‘m excited

[cultivating-wildflowers]

forgot to charge my camera battery the last time I went for a drive so have some ugly phone pictures

I’m so normal now

[giuseppe-yuki]

if you saw me reply to this ask with some unintelligible notes no you didn't (i accidentally pressed post instead of save, panicked, and deleted the ask 😀) luckily i saved a picture of it so crisis averted 🫡

anyways, this is such an adorable concept!

my take down below :)

picture credits from pinterest :)

franco colapinto x orange cat shapeshifter!reader

problem: rain- also known as a cat's biggest fear. as an orange cat!shapeshifter, it only made sense that the fear transferred to your human self too. big fat droplets of water coming from the sky that soaked your entire body, making you cold and miserable? appalling. the loud thundering of the droplets on the ground and the grumbling of thunder in your sensitive ears? overwhelming.

solution: just don't go outside! unfortunately, that just created another problem: as a formula 1 driver, it was kind of necessary that your boyfriend just had to go outside into the wet montreal weather. something about james vowles...media day...meeting...blah blah blah. it was all a bunch of mumbo jumbo in your head anyways.

so there you sat, unbudging, on the plush williams' blue couch of franco's driver room, bundled under at least three blankets while your boyfriend looked upon you, arms crossed.

"come on!" franco groans, trying to pull you off the couch with his extraordinarily strong arms. "let's go! i'm going to be late, and my pr manager is gonna be mad!"

you roll your eyes. did this boy not listen to your 20 minute rant prior about how you were gonna pass away if one single raindrop touched your skin?

"franco," you say pointedly, " like i said before, go without me! i am not about to be leaving this room to be miserable and wet in this canada weather."

"i'll get you an umbrella," franco offers helpfully.

you purse your lips. "wellll.... i already looked and couldn't find one in your driver's room."

that was kind of ridiculous honestly, because how williams managed to not store a single umbrella in the million dollar buildings in rainy montreal, no less, you would never understand. your boyfriend lets out an audible 'hmph' before throwing himself next to you on the couch and attempting to stick his cold feet into the warm bundle of blankets surrounding you. he looked unlikely to get up anytime soon. "what are you doing mister?" you question, trying pushing franco off the couch. "you gotta go!" scooting all the way to the other end of the couch so you can't reach him, he crosses his arms. "well, if you're not going, i'm not either." you let out a incredulous laugh. "baby, this is your literal job- if you don't do it you're gonna get fired!" to this, he just sniffs dismissively and turns his head away from you in a dismissive manner as if he was a little kid.

"no."

a minute of silence passes, with franco pouting on the one side of the couch, trying to ignore your eyes while you stare at your boyfriend with an eyebrow raised. you predict that he will give in the next 30 seconds, like he always does under your glare. the rain still thunders outside, a wet pitter-patter that promises only grief.

you can't ever predict what comes out of his mouth next, though.

"get in my shirt," your boyfriend demands.

your mouth drops open in disbelief.

"excuse me?" you ask slowly, enunciating each syllable. "you wanna repeat that for me?"

now, your boyfriend sometimes said some out-of-pocket stuff by this was a whole new weird.

franco's cheeks turn a dusty pink almost immediately, and he waves his arms in an effort to disperse the situation.

"no! i meant- not my shirt, my jacket- like i mean for you to get in-"

"franco, that's kind of freaky of you to say right now," you say quietly.

he slaps a hand over his rapidly reddening face and mutters, "imeantthatyoushouldturninyourcatformandgetinmyjacketsowecangotogether."

"ohhhh," you respond, realization dawning you. "you want me to climb into your jacket?"

franco nods quickly, relief evident on his features.

"yes, yes, yes, so you don't get wet and i can keep you nice and toasty," he supplies, looking at you for approval.

you squint your eyes at him, thinking, before slowly nodding.

"fine."

he practically beams at you before pushing himself off the couch. reaching up, he starts slowly unzips his jacket just a smidgen suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

god, this man was so unserious.

"franco," you snap, "hurry up and unzip your jacket so i can hop in! you're literally about to be half an hour late to wherever you're supposed to be going!"

your boyfriend huffs in annoyance before unzipping the rest of his jacket and thrusting his arms out for you to jump into.

you shift into your cat form and don't waste a second before leaping into his arms.

you can practically feel the raindrops on franco's raincoat as your boyfriend strolls through the paddock on the way to williams garage. admittedly, it feels quite calming curled up inside his coat, franco's body warmth and faint cologne just about lulling you to sleep. even the usual loud roar of the rain on the roofs of the buildings are muffled by the obstruction around you. your eyes are about to close when suddenly, somebody slaps franco on the back, jolting both him and you.

"franco!" a voice says with a tinge of amusement. "did you eat too much pizza at the hospitality or what?"

using your claws, you climb your way up franco's shirt from underneath his coat, and pop your head out of his collar. it leads to a few droplets of water sliding into your fluffy fur, but you dismiss it, more curious who was doing out in the rain as well.

none other than alex albon stands there, looking real dry under a large umbrella that is now held over franco's head as well. it is proudly labelled "williams racing" in blue lettering. his "pet" cockatiel sits proudly on his shoulder, bouncing up and down in hello when she sees you in franco's collar.

alex laughs when he spots you too.

"ah, i see, just your girlfriend in your coat!" he says, giving you wave.

you give him a loud meow and bare your canines in a smile.

alex smiles back at you kindly.

"so anyways, where ya'll going on this fine day in montreal, canada?" he asks, tilting his head, as if franco wasn't looking like a soggy biscuit with his drenched clothes and the weather didn't look like it was two seconds away from becoming a hurricane.

franco gestures vaguely towards the garages.

"the garages- didn't james tell us to go there like half an hour ago?"

alex laughs. "you're joking right? he didn't send anything out, cause how are you supposed to look at car performance in this weather?"

the both of you recognize the truth in alex's words at the same time. and when the flash of realization and embarassment crosses franco's face, you make sure take a deep breath, because if you don't, you are sure you would have mauled your boyfriend for bringing you all the way out in a storm for nothing.

note: largely unedited ;-;

[austronauts]

we need to talk about mitch’s interview on 32 thoughts can u please gather around

first of all mitch sounds so congested it’s no wonder he’s always sneef snorfing

i’ve never heard mitch sound more articulately authoritative than when talking about the evolution of building in fortnite (also jeff and elliotte enthusiastically guffawing in reaction to mitch talking about fortnite LIKE THEY HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT HE MEANS lmao)

apparently the leafs teammate he plays the most video games with is RYAN REAVES. for about an hour and a half after leafs games to unwind. REAVO. and MITCH. mitch also made sure to point out that reavo has TWO KIDS and is a busy father bc of course he did. “this busy working father of two still makes time after a long grueling workday for me :3” mitchell marner do u hear urself?

also u know how uncles hate mitch bc he plays video games and wears hats and hits the griddy instead of benching testosterroni pizza at the gym to get swole, and they had hopes that reavo would bully mitch into growing tf up and being a MAN - well. the reavo in question is dialed in on CoD with mitch marner rn taking out NPC’s. lol and lmao even

mitch mentions zeus so many times like. so many times. he also takes the time to explain “zeus, my chocolate lab” as if every human and dog in canada don’t already know mitch’s dog is a chocolate lab named zeus.

he mentions his dog so much i got confused when mitch started talking about “the dogg” aka nathan mackinnon bc i was like wait zeus did what now

his story about him and nate at biosteel camp had me GIGGLING bc you can so see nate doing exactly this: “i skated with [nate] at biosteel camp a couple of yrs ago. i didn't make a play to him & you would've thought it was an olympic gold medal game based on how he was talking to me on the bench. i was like 'nate. we're sitting here at this camp. what do you want me to do?’”

obviously i know mitch and nate are fond of each other (the dynamics of which in itself are so funny to me)

but i just love how nate has been like: ohhhh tiny nerdy mitch i wish i could kidnap him and take him to colorado what a great little marns

and then mitch is like: that man is insane!! he yelled at me!!!!!!!

mitch got all modest and shy when asked what it would be like to be on a line with nate representing canada in the olympics and demurred like “ohhhh gosh 🥹🥺 well first i have to make the team and it would just be an HONOUR to be chosen for such a thing 🥹🥺 im just little ole me” like…first of all ok girl we all know ur gonna be there

[synnamon-hearts]

Do you think Josh likes to take pictures/record during sex?

Ohhhh, do I ever! I think this guy has a camera in his hands every chance he gets when you're naked. That is, if you are okay with it, of course. He will respect your wishes if you want to keep your nude form from being recorded in any way. But still, he loves the idea of being able to have that control, to direct you while capturing you in your most vulnerable moments. It secretly gets him so hard to even think about it. And if you are in a long distance situation (which I headcanon because I'm Canadian lol) it is so beneficial. Sure, porn is great and fun. But it is so much better when it's his girl on the screen, all fuck-drunk and panting for him. It has him cumming in minutes. This reminds me of a fic I've been working on for literally almost a year and a half now. 😂 I'll give you a sneak peak down below... 👀

𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭

The lighting in the room is dim, a warm yellow hue igniting from the lamp on the bedside table. The room is warm, only getting hotter as the seconds tick by. I close my eyes for a moment, enjoying how the silk sheets felt under my bare thighs. The cool touch of the fabric helped to soothe the burning heat radiating off my flesh. I opened my eyes again to place my gaze upon my boyfriend, who was quite occupied by his filming equipment at the time.

He pressed the button on the camera and the light flicked on, making me feel much more exposed. I had never been in front of a camera in just my bra and panties before. Hell, I had never done anything like this before. It was so scary, but also exciting. I tapped my foot against the carpet patiently, waiting for Josh to pick the best angle and lighting. Josh was a perfectionist, so I knew it would take quite some time, which was fine. I needed a little bit of extra time to mentally prepare myself for what was to come.

"There!" Josh exclaimed as his pursed lips transformed into a smile, while he brought his hands away from the camera. I had never seen him so excited before.

Every couple of months, Josh would leave Canada to go back to live in his other home in America with his family, resulting in us having a short-term long distance relationship until he came back for vacations. During this time, Josh would either call me for phone sex or—if I wasn't available—watch porn to satisfy his needs. It didn't bother me too much. Just as long as he knew where his home was, I didn't mind.

But eventually he came up with the idea to make a sex tape together, so he could watch it instead. Though I was extremely flattered that he would rather watch me than some cheap skank on the internet, I was nervous as all hell. I was always very camera shy and the thought of one being on me while I was stripped of my layers made me feel anxious as fuck. Josh had been asking me for this for months and when I finally gave in, he was more excited than a kid on Christmas. It was rather sweet in a way. After many long talks and new set boundaries, I began to feel a lot more comfortable with the idea. After all, I always knew I was safe with Josh.

"Shit— wait." He grumbled out and started messing around with the camera again, before a pleased smile tugged at the corners of his lips. Then he turned away from it to face me.

I noticed that the lense was now a lot more zoomed in than before, sending a shiver down my spine. Though it would only ever be me and him watching this tape, I felt as if a thousand eyes were watching me, completely exposed and out on display for their guilty pleasures. The thought made my mind cloud with humiliation and arousal.

𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭~𖹭

[sentientstump]

ohhhh my god i forget what they're called, I always call them "friendly malware" but do you know the little guys you can have run around your desktop screen? Imagine little team Canada friendly malware

started this in 22nd of november and then i figured that it would be a lot of effort (° ⁠▽⁠ °;⁠)

this looks really adorable tho whaaat i forgot half of these...

[ninyard]

and all of my rambling have still failed to really mention the fact that the fbi would also probably maybe want to figure out what’s going on with the baltimore police department.

like, it’s mentioned in the book that they’re paid off, and neil probably told the fbi about that. so there are probably some investigations done as to who actually knew about nathan.

just thinking about the scale of the investigations that would be going on throughout the books. it would have to be such a large operation, even if it’s only because of just how long nathan was going around murdering people.

it’s honestly a little bit horrific to think about, the idea that one man and some of his lackeys could get away with that for so long.

-🐏🐏

when you actually think about how huge it would be though?? The whole gang is catching them RICO charges.

Last week there was an international operation “Operation Kraken” involving the FBI and the cops in like Australia, Canada, France and a whooole bunch of other European countries where they targeted criminal gangs and did like a mass arrest WORLDWIDE. there’s been like 7000 people arrested across the globe so far and it’s kind of a CRAZY operation to watch unfold

And I’m just imagining the Moriyamas/Moreaus/Wesninskis and all the other Moriyama related gang family’s worldwide getting taken down one by one all in the same day. Imagine Ichirou freaking out finding out that his France gang have been compromised then the other countries start falling like dominoes within hours of each other, and millions of dollars in cash and drugs have been seized because of this big investigation? Ohhhh just picture the Moriyamas being marched out one by one as they get arrested

It wouldn’t happen but just reading the story of this happening irl and some of like,,, different countries pretty well known and notorious gangs getting arrested because of this huge worldwide operation. I just think it’s kinda interesting to imagine the Moriyama empire falling in such a huge and dramatic way

[enddaysengine]

Alberta's Transphobic Government

I try really really hard to keep this blog about RPGs and writing. I really do. But when someone comes for my students, fists gets thrown.

We've seen the rise of transphobic legislation in various US states, as well as in Saskatchwan and New Brunswick. Now Alberta has joined the party. Despite the premier pointing out that there are trans youth in her extended family (I don't know how close the relation is, but somewhere in her close family) and swearing to not marginalize trans youth in the last election.

And ohhhh boy oh boy, my home province is once again aiming to hit the bottom of the barrel

Here's the tl;dr (quoted from the article):

Top and bottom surgeries will be banned for minors aged 17 and under. Doctors say bottom surgeries aren't performed on youth and top surgeries are rare.

Puberty blockers and hormone therapies for gender affirmation will not be permitted for children aged 15 and under.

Youths aged 16 and 17 will be permitted to start hormone therapies for gender affirmation "as long as they are deemed mature enough" and have parental, physician and psychologist approval.

Parental notification and consent will be required for a school to alter the name or pronouns of any child under age 15. Students who are 16 or 17 won't need permission but schools will need to let their parents know first.

Parents will have to "opt-in" their children every time a teacher plans to teach about gender identity, sexual orientation or sexuality. Alberta law currently requires parental notification and gives them the option to opt students out.

All third-party teaching materials on gender identity, sexual orientation or sexuality will need to be approved in advance by the education ministry.

Transgender women will be banned from competing in women's sports leagues. Smith said the government will work with leagues to set up coed or gender-neutral divisions for sports.

This goes well beyond what SK and NB have passed. It violates the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms, but Smith doesn't care and will likely use the Notwithstanding Clause to bypass it. Parents, medical professionals, and educators have all reacted with justified outrage. It is clear to those of us who care about youth that these policies will kill.

There is flattly no way in hell I will be deadnaming my students. For a government that says they want to remove red tape and bureaucracy, making parents opt-in to every single lesson involving anything other than heteronormativity sure seems like trying to use red tap to make teaching anything other than their ideology impossible.

What can you do to help?

If you are in Alberta, raise holy hell. Call your MLA, show up at the protests, add your voice to the chorus screaming that we don't want this.

If you are in Canada, there are also demonstrations in support of trans youth going on across the country. Let your MP know as well.

If you aren't from Canada, solidarity and visibility help! We've all seen how this shit has gone down in Florida and elsewhere. We need to stand together to stop this tide.

If you have business ties to Alberta and are able to divist them, please let the Alberta government know you are planning to do so if these proposals become law

Donate to 2SLGBTQ+ organizations in Alberta.

This is not the content I want to go viral from me... but if I have to choose one, make it this one. Please help us proect our kids.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s4 episode 24 thoughts

season FINALE!!! whew, it has been an emotional time these last few months, let me tell you that. i’m wondering how or if this will be wrapped up. 

the episode description makes no mention of scully’s illness, just more aliens. we always end the seasons with aliens. i imagine that this will also be a cliffhanger, so i’m trying to brace myself for that now.

(author's note: there was nothing short of reaching enlightenment that could have prepared me for this, and even if i had ascended to nirvana, i might have been ripped back out by the sheer tragedy of this storyline)

but damn, with a title like gethsemane, i’m expecting even more tears than usual. 

(author's note: yeah)

let us no longer delay. 

we begin with some videos from 1972, including carl sagan! what’s he doing here? well, he’s doing alien things. are you surprised?

the man on the screen is speaking about the probability of contacting aliens. he says it is very high.

and then cut to scully in some very yellow lighting, politely trying to get to a crime scene to do some FBI business!

wait. is that mulder’s couch???

she just needed to make an ID on a body and BRO WHAT. DID SHE FIND MULDER DEAD??? IN HIS OWN APARTMENT?????

HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOO???!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

now she’s in a meeting room with a lot of important people…. 

she’s explaining how she was assigned to the x files four years ago…. and she’s explaining the mulder lore.

“i come here today, four years later, to report on the illegitimacy of agent mulder’s work” <- WOAH WHAT??? betrayal?????

“it is my scientific opinion that he became over the course of these years a victim- a victim of his own false hopes, and in his belief in the biggest of lies” <- that is so sad????!?!??

HELLO??? WHAT??? hey. what’s going on. is that really scully? or is it an alien?

well. they’ve gotten me both hooked and worried. 

is she lying to save him?? is he dead?? is she preserving his reputation in death?? because she said that stuff in the past tense… or maybe he was killed and she will be next if she doesn’t renounce everything???

WHAT IS AFOOT HERE.

scully i just publicly declared you my favorite, you can’t make me take that back…

(author's note: i should have never doubted her <3)

ohhhh fancy, the intro says “believe the lie”

helicopter over the yukon in canada. some guys say the stuff at camp is unbelievable. that's quite a jump in tone from before.

and now they’re marching up the hill, saying they’re very excited etc etc. it looks to be exhausting work. the score is very suspenseful.

they arrive in a cave and shake hands as the newcomers are introduced. and what is in there but…. a frozen alien???

i was hoping it would be a perfectly preserved mammoth :( but okay… whatever… (sadly kicks dirt around)

back to the meeting room with scully!!! she says there have been recent developments on the assumption that aliens exist… mulder was contacted by a man whose “pursuit of this evidence seemed to coincide with his own”, and she says he was duped!!!! fooled by scientific slight of hand!!! 

and she’s here to expose this lie… and to expose his work for what it is….

GIRL, WHAT WENT DOWN???

now a cut to some sort of scully family event!! she’s telling a story about her brother bill. will we finally get to see him!? yes!! here he is!!! like their father, he is also in the navy, and seems to be pretty decorated. 

and he says he sent her a birthday card, to which she says “thanks for remembering this year” LMAOOO get him again for me!!

(why does no one remember her birthday!!! i will cry!!!)

the priest arrives… and scully’s face falls…. why is she sad to see him? and why did he get invited??? i’m stressed. 

father mccue is talking to her about drifting from the church and feeling awkward, but her mom asked him to come tonight. he says turning back to faith is essential in times like this. she says she hasn’t felt a need to draw on faith for strength, that she has some. and she won’t coming running back now.

huh, i wonder if she thinks that “running back” to the church will be admitting defeat. she says she’d be lying to herself and to him if she did that.

maybe she has only lightly been dabbling in god-related affairs since revelations, but not enough to want to return to mass.

but a phone rings… it’s mulder!!!

he says he’s sorry to interrupt her dinner, (so at least there’s some self awareness there) but someone named arlinsky at the smithsonian contacted him about a mountain in canada.

he says she needs to meet him RIGHT AWAY. BRO???????? she looks SO sad when he said that. 

she would do ANYTHING for him. and tbh i see why she wants to expose him now. fuck that. 

she’s assuring him that it’s okay, and he’s trying to apologize, but i’m still mad at him, and scully should be too. and who the hell is this arlinsky guy? apparently he was involved in a ufo photo faking?? but he claims he’s innocent?? THAT is what disrupted her dinner??

he says he won’t tell her what she’s about to see….

he has pictures of an alien frozen in the mountain and she looks deeply unimpressed. girl me too! 

apparently the alien has been in the ice for 200 years. and babcock (arlinsky's colleague) was part of the team that found it.

arlinsky says it’s a very remote location for it to be a hoax, to which mulder once again displays some self awareness with his “well if you’re gonna go, why not go all the way?” but again, not enough to prevent himself from getting in this situation in the first place

arlinsky pulls out the ice core samples from each side of the body, and says he sincerely believes they have a full corpse of an alien. 

but family dinner. i care about that more.

mulder says no one will believe him, and the same people that hid the truth will be asked to authenticate it, so there will be no confirmation either. which is why arlinsky wants him to go and get the body, because he knows it means everything to mulder

ohhhh scully says she has no opinion… “this is your holy grail, mulder, not mine” <- i am glad she is admitting she has no horse in this race

OHHH “proving the existence of alien life is not my last dying wish” <-yeah remind him that you’re literally dying and you can’t waste time because he SEEMS TO HAVE FORGOTTEN!!!!

“this is not some selfish pet project of mine, scully” <- well if it’s for the sake of your sister, but you’re hurting the people around you for it, that is still selfish actually 

woah woah woah i had to write this next part out...

“you already believe, mulder, what difference will it make? i mean, what will proof change for you?”

“if someone could prove to you the existence of god, would it change you?”

“only if it has been disproven”

“then you accept the possibility that belief in god is a lie?” (where are you going with this…? this is a sensitive subject for her!)

“i don’t think about it, actually. and i don’t think it can be proven”

“but what if it could be? wouldn’t that knowledge be worth seeking? or is it easier to go on believing the lie?”

this exchange made me feel frustrated. i wish he would be less ahab-like all of the time. yes, it is a huge deal that someone found an alien. but i see no reason why he couldn't have gone to that meeting by himself. and bringing god into this when he knows that's something very personal to her is a low blow. i get the point he was trying to make about believing the lie and all that, but c'mon man.

mulder honey, i get that this is a big deal to you, but time and place.

she tells him that she cannot go with him, but then he says, well can you just look at the ice core samples please. and she nods her head reluctantly. 

cut back to the big meeting room with scully and other very important people

“what i couldn’t tell agent mulder, what i had only just learned myself, was that the cancer which had been diagnosed in me several months earlier had metastasized. and the doctors told me, short of a miracle, it would continue to aggressively invade my body, advancing faster each day towards the inevitable” <- OH MY GOD??? oh my god. 

but why wouldn't she tell him... did she think that telling him then would interrupt his alien quest?? and she didn't want to do that because she knows how important it is to him? or did she not want him to worry?

because i would have told him!!! i would have said it right then and there!! but she is very different from me...

the fact that she is aware that she has so little time left and STILL left her dinner to go deal with his nonsense… scully, i fear you give too much and need to do things for yourself, please please

back on the mountain, they’re cutting the ice with a chainsaw. feels a bit unscientific, but i mean i guess that’s how you get that stuff done.

one guy is loading a pistol??? saying he doesn’t know the men well. that’s suspicious. i don’t care for it. 

there’s something in the ice. maybe a bubble. or a casting hole!! of liquid poured!! could this be a fake?? but the angle wouldn’t make sense, says one guy. hmm... i'm not sure what to think.

did they put a fake alien all the way up here…? and why is gun guy looking around all shady like…?

back to the core samples in DC. the scientist says he found some hybrid cells in there, not plants nor animals, but chimera, and he wants to get them under a microscope. hmm… can we clone da alien :3

someone walks into the cave in the yukon with a shotgun!!! and kills all of the men!!!!! what the hell!!! is this a real alien then?????

this happens just as others begin the hike up the mountain, including the smithsonian guy arlinsky. and mulder!! i didn’t even recognize him under all those baggy coats and sunglasses. wow. i feel like a fake fan.

someone was supposed to meet them and guide them up the mountain, but there’s no one there, and all the supplies are frozen over. so they begin the hike on their own, following the tracks from the others.

oh! the find someone keeled over in the snow, to which mulder remarks “funny place to take a nap”. again with the inappropriate jokes as a coping mechanism. it’s the guide that was supposed to meet them!! and he was shot and killed!!!

well, the alien is starting to look more authentic as the bodies pile up. 

back at the lab, scully is looking for the scientist, but she doesn’t find him. what she does find is a guy stealing the core sample???

he shoves her down the stairs?????? what the HELL!!!!

see, i thought the alien was a lie at first, but now it’s starting to appear compelling.

mulder and smithsonian guy arlinsky have arrived at the cave, and he pulls out his gun. they find all of the bodies from the crew, and no alien!!! it has been carved out!!!

mulder hypothesizes that perhaps someone was listening to their radio comms and came to hide their alien knowledge, but they hear some groans. and babcock is still alive!!

he says that the alien body wasn’t taken, but that he buried it!! and sure enough, they find it beneath their feet. mulder looks at it with amazement. big moment for a guy like him.

but scully!!! her face is bruised and her pristine lab coat is covered in blood! bill comes in with a change of clothes. and he didn’t tell their mom what happened. 

“i was knocked down a flight of stairs… but i’m okay, luckily”

“you’re not okay, dana” <- OHHHH BILL. please tread carefully.

he says he knows about her cancer and she says mom wasn’t supposed to tell him!!!

she says she doesn’t want sympathy, and he accuses her of thinking she can cure herself. which feels like a terribly low blow.

OHHHH MY GOD. wait hold on. hold on.

“what are you doing at work getting knocked down and beaten up? what are you trying to prove? that you’re gonna go out fighting?”

“oh now, come on, bill”

“do you know what mom is going through? why do you think i didn’t tell her when they called?”

“what should i be doing?” (said with great frustration)

“we have a responsibility, not just to ourselves, but to the people in our lives”

“hey, look, just-just because i haven’t bared my soul to you or to father mccue or to god, it doesn’t mean that i’m not responsible to what’s important to me” (this was very defensive and exasperated in tone)

“to what? to who? this guy mulder? well, where is he, dana? where is he through all this?”

well…. i want to defend mulder, to say he doesn’t know, but just because he doesn’t know that her cancer is getting worse doesn’t mean he shouldn’t have been more sensitive. he actually has been very conscientious, which makes this whole alien thing all the more sudden and infuriating!!!

she is stunned into silence as bill looks at her with fury. and she doesn’t say anything more to him beyond “thank you for coming” <-god, what was she supposed to even say?? i get trying to shake her back to reality, but who did that cruelty help??

bill, i get what you were trying to do, but you pissed me off in the way that you did it. do you always show the people you care for that you love them by screaming at them? because if so. not a very effective tactic.

mulder is unboxing the alien, which is now in DC, and he’s trying to thaw it with the smithsonian guy arlinsky and babcock! who is doing better! despite taking a shotgun bullet.

babcock asks if it were a hoax, why would there be 6 men dead over it, which is a good question. 

ewwww, the alien looks so gross….

with the help of another FBI agent, she finds the guy who hurt her!!!! and he’s working for the government!!!! in the pentagon‘s research facility!!! his name is kritschgau. they should not hire people in the government who assault women in stairwells.

mulder and crew are getting x rays and scans of the alien. mulder is wearing a sweater, but i’m still mad at him so i will NOT make note of how cute it is. 

the alien body is gross as hell. they’re filming an autopsy. ohhh he’s cutting the eye membrane off. EWWWW. EWWW.

now the ribs…… ewww ewww ewwww EWW IT CRUNCHES. NASTY. he takes the ribs out and starts looking at the heart and lungs and some other white stuff in the chest. gag.

meanwhile, scully’s casing the joint looking for the dude kritschgau who assaulted her, and she finds him, tracks him down, and nearly hits him with her car!!! she has her gun and is going after him!!!! he is under arrest!!! 

she is NOT messing around. we see a level of scully fury here that is incredibly potent and shown to us infrequently. i enjoy it, but it also makes me sad, because it shows how much stress she is under.

it appears he has slipped away, but she catches him!!!!! yes ma'am!!!!

kritschgau says that if he gets arrested, they’ll kill him. “they” being the same people that gave her cancer!!! how tf does he know about that???”

meanwhile, the alien organs are being weighed.

then cutscene back to the big meeting with scully!!! she’s telling them about how they smuggled the corpse back, saying mulder was ready to believe it was an alien.

but kritschgau convinced her it was otherwise, and not a true alien… he explained how mulder and her had been deceived and used, and that it was part of their plan that led to missy’s death and her illness.

god, how she must have felt hearing that… that everything that had happened to her was a waste, that the only point in her suffering was to advance corruption... it must have been devastating

as mulder leaves the warehouse where the autopsy was occurring, it seems he’s being watched by a guy with a shotgun??? is the shotgun guy going from before after the alien people????

it IS shotgun guy from before!!!! he knows babcock?? and he kills smithsonian guy arlinsky!!!

now who tf is this babcock fellow?!?!?!?!?!?

kritschgau is now sitting in mulder's apartment, explaining the "everything is a lie" story to him. mulder asks why he'd do this now- a fair question- and kritschgau says he came to him because his son is very sick after serving in the gulf war. i suppose if in this universe that is also something that has been covered up by the government, it could spark some disillusionment in the whole process once it impacts him personally.

he says "they" invented mulder, the regression hypnosis, the story of his sister and what they told his dad, and that the alien body was made carefully in a lab. and it would never be carbon dated, it was only for him to see so he would go public with the news and discredit himself.

mulder declares kritschgau to be a liar, but he says the body is already long gone, so he leaves to check. and sure enough, when he goes back to the warehouse, it isn’t there, but arlinsky is dead, as is shotgun guy!!!

again, WHO TF IS BABCOCK??!?!?

the cellular materials were an exact match to what kritschgau described. 

and this brings us to scully and mulder really fighting, really really fighting

“after all i’ve seen and experienced, i refuse to believe it’s not true” “because it’s easier to believe the lie, isn’t it?” <- ohh callback to earlier....

and she reveals that he said she was given this sickness to make him believe… oh my god, if that’s true, and her life is just a prop in their sick game… 

he storms out. 

back to the video from the 70’s we began with. 

mulder is watching it and crying. oh no… the beginning is clicking into place for me…… oh no, i see what is coming…. 

back to the meeting room. she says she went to his apartment that morning to identify a body, and that mulder died of a self-inflicted gunshot 

WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK?????????????????

thus concludes the episode

she’s crying, she’s crying, all i can think about is her crying, what the hell, what the hell….

so he killed himself because he realized he was being used as a pawn and it was his fault scully was dying…

normally i would have more to say. but i’m not gonna lie to you, i don’t. this is just so fucking sad. i don’t even have the words. never in a million years did i see this happening. what the hell???? what the hell?

do i believe this kritschgau guy??? i think he’s probably telling 30% of the truth. but not the whole thing. why would all those men die for a fake alien? i think he’s being deployed as a cover story as mulder gets too close. and i think some of this is engineered, but not as much as he claims.

and i'm willing to bet that "believing the lie" actually refers to scully believing his cover story!!!

man. i’m sorry but i’m just so sad. i have been so sad this whole season!!!! 

mulder…… it was rude of you to interrupt her dinner…… but this was not the answer… 

how is sneaky mulder going to get out of the situation THIS time??? and how is scully going to get out of the hole she's dug by reporting all of their work as fraud?? is bill going to be happy now?? lowkey fuck bill, btw.

wow... this is just painful. and i don't even have to wait months to find out what happens next. had i seen this when it aired live i probably would have entered a state of mourning.

so that's the end, huh? of the season, i mean. just sucker punch after sucker punch. i hope this isn't the tone of everything else moving forward. can i get uhhhh one order of whimsy please. with a side of mutual pining. and a small hurt/comfort, emphasis on the comfort. thank you.

after waiting 24 hours from watching the episode initially, i am still torn between how to proceed next. part of me wants to compile all of my favorite moments from the season like always, but the other part of me wants to begin the next episode right away, just so i can move on from such horrible mental imagery as mulder dead from a self-inflicted gunshot. what a terrible thing i wouldn't even have expected from fanfiction!

but, i can also see that the next episode is a two parter, and to be left on ANOTHER cliffhanger would be horrible- but probably LESS horrible than being left with the sadness of dead mulder, right? i don't know what to do! i am filled with indecision!!!!

:(

at least i can take away some fascinating analysis regarding scully's relationship to catholicism, and her idea that depending on any force outside of herself- be it family, friends, or god- is a sign of weakness. i mean, that is pretty telling about her character. and the fact that she believes this so strongly she tried to hide her cancer getting worse from her brother and succeeded in hiding it from mulder!!! to even voice the truth would make it real. maybe that's why she can't tell them, can't go to mass- because it would mean that the end is really near if she did so. i think it's about both the perceived ideas of weakness ingrained in her by her hardass parents and a refusal to let the situation she has found herself in be registered as real in her own mind. she knows it is. but maybe if she pushes it to the side, she can forget for a while.

wow. that sure is something to think over, and think it over i shall.

[jan-lojuwise]

Ohhhh Mike is talking about how progressive Canada is and how he's bi but sees no difference between men and women

That makes a lot of sense actually lol