#ohhh my horrible disaster babies they’re here at last

[wolfwillowisp]

OUGH…… MY HORRIBLE CHILDREN….. finally

[allforthecourtt]

rereading aftg with my dumbass opinions pt. 2 (tfc chapters 6-10)

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

look guys! its the highly unanticipated continuation of my reread of aftg!

chapter 6 (aka. meet this MESS of a team)

“My mother's family is French." It was a lie that probably had his British mother rolling over in her sandy grave.”

neil really never misses an opportunity to remind readers that he fucking buried his mom on the beach huh?

“A liar who practices occasional honesty. Clever. Keeps people guessing. Very effective. I would know. I do it myself, you see. Come on, then. After you.”

have i mentioned how entertaining high andrew is? because he’s funny as hell

also rereading these are fun because Nora is incredible at foreshadowing just sayin

“Neil automatically reached for his seatbelt, but one of the brothers was sitting on it.”

how neil would be in the back of the cousins’ car if they let him:

“You?" Neil said. "You can't." Andrew's smile curved wider. "Ohhh, that sounds like a challenge. Mother may I?" "Your mother's dead. I don't think she cares what you do.”

HO HO HOLY SHIT NEIL

“Starting a fight was too out of character for who he portrayed "Neil” to be, though.”

“Consider this your official invite, you suicidal wretch. I'm bringing you to Columbia with us this Friday.”

awe suicidal wretch... glad they’re starting those pet names early

“I don't drink or dance," Neil said.

andrew: i kno u can

“Kevin doesn't dance anymore”

anymore? ANYMORE??? release the cursed events that led to him not dancing anymore Nora im begging you

“Are you bleeding anywhere?" Matt asked. "Nowhere vital," Neil said.

gskjgnsak god i stan this little asshole so much

“She said it gently, with the hint of a smile on her face, but Neil still felt the rebuke. It was subtler but somehow deadlier”

have i mentioned how gay i am for renee? because im very gay for renee

“Allison looked ready for a photo shoot with perfect platinum curls, spiked heels, and a skintight dress.”

im also gay for allison ngl

“I can move if you want to sit here," Neil said. "No, this is fine." She smiled, but it had a smug edge to it, probably because Seth was glaring at them like he could kill them with willpower alone. ”

lol remember how neil doesn’t think he’s attractive and yet in 0.1 seconds after meeting him allison is like “yes this idiot is hot enough to piss off the other idiot im dating”

“Personal favorite was when someone told the police we were running a meth lab out of the dorm," Dan said sourly. "Police raids are awesome.”

no offence dan but that’s fucking hilarious omg

that’s kind of like the time my residence floor had to get evacuated bc some kids hotboxed their dorm room

god i love uni

“The death threats were creative, though," Nicky said. "Maybe this time they'll follow through and actually kill one of us. Let's vote. I nominate Seth.”

pfffffttttt i love Nicky omg

also hahahahahah foreshadowing!

“It'll be fine," Andrew said. "I promised, didn't I? Don't you believe me?" It took a while, but at last Kevin visibly relaxed. ”

again this is why i thought they were fucking for like the better part of the first two books

“The dead look Kevin turned on Andrew today was the same look Neil saw in his reflection. When Neil stopped acting, when he stopped worrying about who was watching, when he let go of the lies that kept him alive, that was the only expression he could make.”

it’s fine i didnt need a heart anyways

this kid is 18 hes A BABY

the first time i read this i was 18 too and like jfc i was a BABY at 18 and so i neil

“One of us has to make it, Mom." It wasn't going to be Neil. It was obvious he was too stupid to survive without his mother if he let himself get into messes like this. But maybe Kevin could do it.”

sorry let me just wipe my TEARS off my fucking laptop neil honey what the fuck

“He felt distant as he watched them walk in. Maybe he was already dying, his stupid soul fading from his short body in preparation for a brutal end.”

neil we get it you have depression (me too bitch u aint special)

“Fuck running," Seth said.

now that’s a whole ass mood

“he didn't know how Renee could smile so warmly when she was speaking to Andrew.”

haha bitch just wait

“when he slept, he dreamed of his father waiting for him on the Foxhole Court.”

remember how at the end of the series his father is waiting on the court but neil wins??? god we love good storytelling

this is such a fucking wild chapter

could you imagine? coming back from the summer and your first introduction to this amateur from arizona is this neil josten level of sass? because i’d probably kill him

first years are bad enough but first years who dont care about other people’s opinions? the fucking worst

chapter 7 (aka. neil does NOT have a fun night out)

“It seemed Allison and Seth didn't believe in middle ground: either they were slinging vile insults at each other or they were making out in the locker room regardless of whoever might be around.”

that’s just how the straights are

“It reminded Neil a little of Allison and Seth, except without the desperate sexual undertones.”

i’ll just leave this gem of a line here

“His teammates held so little regard for him he didn't even have the dubious honor of being dead last.”

neil shading himself is actually hilarious how relatable

“Neil watched him do it, trying to remember the last time someone gave him a gift and coming up blank. That his first one should be from Andrew was unsettling.”

i actually love the fact that andrew bought him clothes so early on like andrew your gay is showing

“Neil debated how much damage the thick heels of his new boots would do against Andrew's face and liked what his mind came up with.”

i thank god everyday that these books are neil’s pov

“Andrew gave Neil another slow once-over and let go. "We're going.”

^andrew seeing neil w/o contacts (aka. the ‘i can’t think straight’ vine)

“Most of the men wore leather, half the women had corsets, and a good number of both genders were covered in buckles and chains.”

this... is a... gay bar

“Andrew saluted the bouncers on his way by and led the way into the club, bypassing the line entirely.”

i always forget the drinking age in the us is 21 but like this bar really dont care about their liquor license AT ALL lmao

“You think Kevin would risk his future over a night out at the club?" "What future?" Neil asked.”

WOW NEIL WAY TO BE A BITCH

“Neil hadn't seen Aaron get up, but he was waiting behind Neil when Andrew let go. Neil reached for Andrew with lethal intent, but Aaron grabbed the back of his chair and pulled hard enough to topple it over.”

why are the twins literally this gif:

real talk nicky kissing neil like that is horrible and really reflects poorly on nicky as a character

andrew for this entire chapter:

chapter 8 (aka. a hitchhiker’s guide to lying about your identity)

“I don't know how your conversation with Andrew went, but it didn't end well. Rumor has it you paid a busboy a hundred bucks to knock you out. Way to cut our night short.”

this is probably my favourite thing neil does in the entire series ngl

“Wymack grabbed his elbow and hauled him inside. He slowed just long enough to slam the door behind Neil. "Are you stupid or just crazy? Do you have any idea what could have happened to you between here and there? What were you thinking?”

Why does Wymack literally sound like my father?

foxes: daddy?

wymack: DO I LOOK LIKE

follow up:

kevin: daddy?

wymack: uh yeah

“I don't know what the beef is between you two, but it ends here and now.”

Wymack @ neil: tell your boyfriend, if he says he’s got beef that your a vegetarian and your not fucking scared of him

“Then correct me." "Give me a reason." "Besides the obvious?" Andrew said. "If I can't get an answer from you, I'll get it wherever I can.”

andrew:

“I'm—" Neil didn't want to say it, but the word was already there, broken and pathetic between them, "—nothing. I'll always have and be nothing.”

“He wondered for a moment if Andrew could handle the entire truth so calmly, but that was too dangerous and stupid to consider.”

“Hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing, but he thought perhaps he liked it.”

this is such a good fucking line like i am shooketh

chapter 9 (aka. neil is, like, really horny for exy)

“Are you stupid?" Seth asked. "Yeah," Neil said.”

what a fuckin MOOD

“Neil had almost forgotten why he liked Exy so much. He did his best at practices but these days he worked mostly to keep his teammates off his back. As Neil surveyed Kevin's damage, he finally felt inspired again. On its heels was a hungry, desperate rush.”

“Seth made as if to throw his beer at Neil. "His life is not more important than mine just because he's more talented.”

sometimes i really wish seth was actually given a chance to have some character development

“ "Maybe you're not as stupid as I thought." "Maybe I am," Neil said”

another big fucking MOOD

chapter 10 (aka. shocking: university is hard :/ )

“It's fun telling Kevin no," Andrew said with a wicked grin.”

why is andrew like this omg

betsy probably was like just looking for a chill job and was like “oh cool uni students? ill have to deal with like a lot of anxiety, sexual tension, depression and like confusion about the future, not to bad” but NOPE welcome to the fucking MAFIA WARS

“That wasn't so bad, was it? Andrew was convinced it would be a disaster. He put money on you hating Betsy." "Did you bet against him?" "Yes," Renee said. "It was a private bet between the two of us.”

“I hope you didn't lose much," Neil said.”

god why is he such an asshole at every opportunity i love him

“I can take care of myself," Neil said. "Watch me beam with pride.”

wymack is the best father in the world and you cant convince me otherwise

“There was one for every fall team with schedules printed on each. Neil kept the Exy one, tossed the rest into the trash, and buried his magnet deep in his pocket where he didn't have to look at the dates.”

neil “i only care about exy” josten strikes again with his great school spirit

“Palmetto State was facing Edgar Allan on Friday, October 13th”

that’s such a cliche and i love it

“He detoured around students toward one of Palmetto State's three dining halls. Two were for the general student body. The third was for athletes only”

lmao my school literally has one dining hall and it couldnt give less of a fuck what type of student they’re selling food too as long as they’ll pay $15 for chicken fingers

what kind of money does palmetto state fuckin have

like i get us tuition is a lot but jesus so’s mine and my school couldn’t be less fucked

“It was only the first day of school and he already had three assignments: a short paper, a fifty-page chapter to read, and a page of questions about said chapter. Neil debated for a minute as to which one sounded least painful. Five minutes later he was still uninspired, so he put his head down on his desk.”

1. MOOD

2. first years are so cute thinking that’s a lot of assignments i remember in first year being like “i have to read 40 pages thats so unfair :(” and now i’m like “ah sick only 200 pgs of readings this week? im gonna have so much free time!”

upper year history sucks ngl

“I'm fine," Neil said.”

neil knows exactly two (2) words and those are it

“You say that an awful lot," Matt said. "I'm starting to think you don't know what it means.”

overall thoughts:

the plot is pickinnnng upppp

i kind of forget how much world building happens in the first book but like its good

also i love neil literally hating everyone its so funny bc like bby these going to be your best friends just wait

anyways that’s all for now

part 3 will be the rest of tfc and then we’ll move onto trk if you guys still want more of this? let me know

love u all bye

[spectrumscribe]

so here’s my conversation with my friend, @guide-to-the-galaxy, as i and a sibling of mine watched the Lone Rat and Cubs episode.

spoilers: i didn’t like it, this is pretty short, and basically just a lot of dissatisfaction with canon.

 onthespectrumwriting:

so. me and my lil sis are watching the lone rat and cubs thing rn

 onthespectrumwriting:

already i am dragging it hardcore

 guide-to-the-galaxy:

Ive been so out of the loop i honestly forgot to watch it😂😂 my bro did but i was asleep

 onthespectrumwriting:

I’m only 3 mins in. I’ll tell you what quality it is as I go

 onthespectrumwriting:

okay so splinter /knew/ there were weirdo inhuman guys looking for them above ground all these years, but didn't think to mention that to his kids even once???

 guide-to-the-galaxy:

Not very responsible:////

 onthespectrumwriting:

not liking the designs for the turtles at all

they are Bad

very bad

 guide-to-the-galaxy:

Ugly alien boys

 onthespectrumwriting:

extremely so

 onthespectrumwriting:

jeeeez master splinter used to be hardcore

what happened to that????

 guide-to-the-galaxy:

He got lazy and depended on his sons to fight his battles

 onthespectrumwriting:

fffffff

yeah basically

great parenting skills dude, shove all the babies inside a cardboard box

 guide-to-the-galaxy:

I heard he thought they were pets like bruh theyre making baby noises they aint turtles

Not the pet kind anyways

 onthespectrumwriting:

also: do the people who make this show know anything about fucking kids???

 guide-to-the-galaxy:

Nope

 onthespectrumwriting:

i helped raise three of them, this ain't how kids act

at all

 guide-to-the-galaxy:

Omg is it that bad😂😂 i have to see this misinterpreted version of bbys

 onthespectrumwriting:

i'm screaming

this is terrible

 guide-to-the-galaxy:

Ohhh noo😭😭😭

 onthespectrumwriting:

I HATE

THE DIALOGUE

WITH MY ENTIRE SOUL

 guide-to-the-galaxy:

Splinters dialogue or the weird noises these kids make?

 onthespectrumwriting:

the kid noises AND kid dialogue

and would it have really killed them to get child actors to play the kid versions of the turtles?? are they /really/ that low on funds?

this isn't A) how kids talk and B) how kids SOUND

 guide-to-the-galaxy:

Yeah it just sounded awkward in the previews I hated it

 onthespectrumwriting:

i can't even enjoy the growing fatherness to splinter

its overshadowed by the horribleness of the turtle tots

 guide-to-the-galaxy:

😂😂😂 i neeed to watch this

 onthespectrumwriting:

*kill bill sirens*

splinter's kid gets hurt and he LOSES IT

that’s at least something to his new parenthood

 guide-to-the-galaxy:

Aw well thats nice

 onthespectrumwriting:

"still full of fury, i see" - splinter @ his month old son, raph

but like

no???

 guide-to-the-galaxy:

He's a baby

Babys cant...

 guide-to-the-galaxy:

Have...fury???

Idk like i know thats just supposed to try and characterize but

 onthespectrumwriting:

jfc none of these people know ANYTHING about children

 guide-to-the-galaxy:

No

 onthespectrumwriting:

yeah and he just recieved a lifelong scar injury to his chest- the crack- right after getting run over by a fucking shopping cart and falling down at least twenty steps-

and raph just laughs??

this

this is not how babies work, my dude

 guide-to-the-galaxy:

They cry if they trip

Let alone get hit by a cart

 onthespectrumwriting:

i hate this so much

also: splinter has exactly no legs to stand on about lecturing raph on his temper, seeing as every time he's fought in this ep he's had like

Severe Angry Eyes

 onthespectrumwriting:

and goes overkill p much each fight

yes splinter let your babies play with your deadly ninja weaponry as you run full tilt mid battle

good dad behavior

and then he has an internal monologue moment WHILE THEY'RE STILL BEING PURSUED to think about how he wants to be a master and a dad

and how he might get a second chance now

but like

 guide-to-the-galaxy:

Oh no writers what are you doing???

 onthespectrumwriting:

its sticks out to me that he says "master" before he says "father"??

its kind of telling about his character tbh

 guide-to-the-galaxy:

He just wanted kids to fight his battles

 onthespectrumwriting:

sensei before father is pretty much the gist of this series' splinter and i hate it

now he's lost his kids in the sewer nice

 guide-to-the-galaxy:

He had one job

 onthespectrumwriting:

splinter why is it suddenly so hard to lift One shopping cart UNDERWATER??

physics are fake as it turns out

nice to know

OH NOW THE TURTLES CAN SWIM?

okay, sure.

why does the sewer connect directly into a train station exactly?

that's...  not supposed to happen

i would not want a sewer thing to connect into my subway

 onthespectrumwriting:

oh god

*sighs*

he assigned them all weapons based on what they played with as fucking babies

not on how their individual skillsets work as actual students as they got older

OH AND HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE SOMETHING GOOD TO SAY TO MIKEY ARE YOU KIDDING ME

to leo he says: “The katana. A royal samurai weapon for those with courage and keen skill.”

to raph he says: “The sai. For a fierce and fearless warrior, who will always fight the hardest for his family.”

to donnie he says: “The bo staff. For a thoughtful soul, and a peaceful heart.” (idk about that last comment but okay)

and to mikey he says: “The nunchaku. Because…. uh….. *audibly sweats* they are perfect for you!”

everyone else gets something spiritual blah blah blah and mikey's told that??

?????

fuck this. they can’t even give him this, when the family situation wasn’t utter shit.

and.... that's it. that's the episode.

so. mutual agreement between me and my sib.

this sucked.

 guide-to-the-galaxy:

Its just

It could be so good

But its just not

 onthespectrumwriting:

no it is not. :///

 onthespectrumwriting:

and all this, after we had such solid eps with usagi??

*deepest sigh of all*

well. here's to hoping the vampire arc soothes the hives this episode gave me.

one last thing:

i hate the turtle tots so much

they look like fucking muppet puppets.

i’ll probably see them in my dreams tonight. taunting me with my sins and telling me how i’ll die.

onethespectrumwriting:

these are good boys i’d protect with my life.

these are gremlins i’d run over with my nonexistant car.

thanks nick.

really.

excuse me while i go grab a drink. i have to wash this whole disaster out of my system by force.