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My mental health hike did include me explaining the differing generational dynamics of the different ninja turtle shows to my mother so 👌
#something something 03 latch key kids and their dad is like ‘because I said so’#vs these ones dad got depressed when they were old enough to be self sufficient and now he sits on the couch eating ice cream#she was like OH I barely saw my dad as a kid but I remember him being there more#YES LETS GET INTO IT
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Thinking about when I told my roommate I hyperfixate on Mario a lot and he was like "I didn't even know you COULD hyperfixate on Mario until I met you" fkdnfnfndndndnfjfekef
#A FAIR ASSUMPTION#he also didn't know there were rpgs until he met me which is just so interesting to me because yes again a fair assumption but like#you ever just get hit with the fact that someone else grew up with a very different perception of a series than you djdhdbdbdbsnsf#i grew up with Super Paper Mario and Bowser's Inside Story djdjdjsbsnsfjsg#i was always disappointed by mario games that weren't RPGs as a kid cause i wanted a story like Super Paper Mario#i remember playing BiS for the first time and feeling SO much joy because i had finally found another story heavy mario game#after likr accepting spm was the only one (not true but i was 4 when SPM came out and 6 when BiS came out cjdjdndbbdg)#It's so fucking funny but to this DAY i still get so excited over Paper Mario trailers i would become PLASTERED to the TV#whenever a new Paper Mario commercial would come out cause that's how i found out about that shit chdbxbxbsf#same with M&L i remember wantinf a 3DS SPECIFICALLY for Sticker Star and Dream Team fncbcdhshxjsfv#anyways ramble over. shout out to my other roommate when i mentioned the M&L games to him he went#“That reminds me of that one i played on my DS as a kid where Mario & Luigi were babies and fighting aliens” based PiT enjoyer#OH MY GOD WAIT WHEN PAPER JAM WAS ANNOUNCED I WAS FLOORED BTW
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I think sadly MK is the only franchise where EVERY SINGLE canon ship has hit for me.
#yes even jade and kotal they cute bro#HOWEVER#i will add noncanon ships as background also work#like liu kang and kung Lao were fuckin nasty sorryyy#don’t get me started on sub zero and scorpion#all the kombat kids have hit at least once and it was a mournful day when jacqui and takeda became exclusive#(hint they’re not everyone they assumed cassie and Jin didn’t wanna mess w/ a couple and they assumed that jacqui and takeda were exclusive)#i didn’t say it explicitly but Jin is still gay keep that in mind with everything#oh and i said sadly above bc like. there should be more#can I remember? now#listen.#OH#I STARTED REWATCHING JEM#I REMEMBER WHY WE FUCKING HATE RIO NOW#SORHEIEKSLSLS
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If I see one more fucking system say endos are valid I think im gonna fucking eat someone
#do not.fucking.interact with me if youre an endo or support endos your entire existence disgusts me#no being.a system is NOT fun its NOT cool no iys NOT cosplay it is NOT having friends in your head its not fun#to have fictives bc “oh you get to talk to your fave character!!” fictives arent controllable anyway you very well could end up with a#fictive you fucking hate#you could have introjects of your abuser#having system members who sabotage or hurt you on purpose is not fun#being an endo isnt real you cannot have DID or OSDD without trauma#DID is complex trauma. thats what it is. its CPTSD with dissociation.#its nkt.funny haha character time#you cannot be a system without some form of dissociation or trauma.#and no you cannot “become” a system ehen youre older. ykure delusional.#i was severely abused and traumatized in my formative years and it led to dissociationy entire childhood and i have gaps of time miasing#from my mond#like yes i know i was abused i do remember some of the abuse i know i was beaten everyday and locked up in my room#and to see kids say theyre endos with 100+ alters with perfect communication makes me.SO ANGRY my disorder IS NKT YOUR PLAYTHING.#if you were an actual system you would fucking hate being a system iys not fun or quirky#yeah i LOVE not having my entire life in my mond#yeah i LOVE dissociating and forgetting days of my life#i love fhat i cant remember 8 months of my life because its just gone! goodbye! gone from my memory!#fucking endos#dont fucking interact if youre an endo i hate you
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don’t go sharing your devotion
[Image ID: A digital collage, the silhouette of a man in a cassock. The rough lines tracing his torso and head have been duplicated, straining the eye. The man is featureless, and his head is separated from his neck by a large gap, spanned by a dashed yellow line. Left of the first face, the faint outline of a second identical head is visible. The background of the image is a sequence of golden discs with red centers and circular grooves. End ID.]
#my art#malevolent#malevolent season 4#I listened to those eps so quick bc I was catching up but every so often it hits me out of nowhere how funny/awful the situation was#love how only after the beheading attempt he remembered the damnation by pocket rock situation was still ongoing.#like oh when you said you couldn’t multitask you were NOT KIDDING#anyways.#god I’ve had the idea to have this song as a caption for months and couldn’t think of anything till now#yes the background is the abba gold album vinyl :)#spent the entire process listening to a slowed version of sweet escape so that was. its own thing also
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have you hiked in the Appalachians?
hiiiii <3 the answer is... yeah? i'm sure i HAVE dskhf
i live in georgia, i've certainly BEEN to the appalachians plenty of times. not just here but across probably most of the states they're in. and i've hiked in... a LOT of places (mostly due to geocaching, though also occasionally just for fun at my parents behest)
the only problem is that when i was younger, i never really paid attention to where exactly we were :') there are some i can name for sure; Cloudland Canyon, for instance, though thats not in the appalachians and also idk if stairs count as hiking?? though there are *googles it* 1200 steps one-way so maybe it does at that point idk it's a fond memory even as my whole family has vowed to never return (i will one day, probably). and also Elijah Clark state park. actually i'm pretty sure i've BEEN TO every (or at least almost every) state park in Georgia. and hiked in a lot of them too.
so tl;dr is yes, i am sure i've hiked in the appalachians, though i really don't remember it ;;;;; i should do it again
#im sorry this is so late and also such a non-answer answer dskhskdhg#and ik i've mentioned it before but my memory is really. bad. especially with things like exact locations and stuff that happened as a kid#/teen#so even though i know things DID happen i don't always actually... remember the experience#also don't mind the clouldland canyon rant in the middle there. i didn't know how many stairs there were except A FUCKTON#and googling it certainly. put that into perspective. 100 flights of stairs. that we had to descend (fine) and then ascend (horror story)#from what i can recall other than STAIRS though it was VERY pretty!!!!#but yes im sure i have hiked there but i could NOT give details on the experience.#i do remember parking there for a while with my dad on the drive to canada when i was 17 though#and watching the lightening and counting the seconds between the flash and the thunder to see how far off it was!!#OH i've also been to a lot of the mountains here in georgia in general. i DID go to camp on lookout mountain for 4 years after all#and my brothers both went to camp on rainey mountain so i've been there to drop them off#rip the place with the goats on the roof i can't remember if they were still open last time we drove by it#askers#cozy-fish-crow#shh ac
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Every Film I Watch In 2023:
232. California Suite (1978) -- a rewatch
#california suite#california suite (1978)#2023filmgifs#my gifs#a rewatch for Alda/Fonda reasons#and then I remembered Maggie and Richard Pryor were in it too#and oh gosh#so interesting to come back to this#after seeing Elaine May in other stuff#and reading up on all she's done#man they cast that kid well#she totally does look like she could be Alan Alda and Jane Fonda's kid#yes i very nicely avoided giffing the people i loathe in this film#no way no how#i should see if i can find A New Leaf#i wonder if i'll like it
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one realization i’ve had is that a lot of the models for masculinity and/or manhood that i kind of gravitated to when i was younger were not the most typically masculine. it’s weird having things in common with other transmascs but also very clearly going for different things. like i feel a kinship with you but sometimes i think we’re not quite the same. also been a reminder of like what kid me was actually going for when i dressed and acted The Way i Did in middle school
#persolaise perfumes singlehandedly saved me by looking and acting like he does#the first video of his that i watched he was reacting to this scent that’d been marketed with the phrase ‘��for real men’’#he was like put off but trying to give it a chance#and he made this joke about having lost his real man card a long time ago or something#and i was like HAAAAA . love you#me.txt#anyway i was watching this trans guy podcast and they were like averagely masculine men and it was like#hm i think we have different priorities kind of. like i have a feeling we wouldn’t completely relate kfhdkfn#it wasn’t a feeling of exclusion just an awareness of difference#they were talking specifically about wanting to feel manly and like had mildly sort of touched on and laughed about that in sort of#an inside joke way. and i was like WOW i like would not care about that at all. like i don’t think i’ve ever worried much about manliness#passing certainly but not that as far as i can remember#and it took me back to being weirdly drawn to like. floop from spy kids and people like that and i was like hm. there’s something there#i say that and then dress the way i do in my selfies kdbsksh#for me it’s more of a mannerism and presentation thing than anything else i think#like persolaise truly was a reminder that like. oh yes i can speak and act like that and dress fun and still be a man#truly it’s just that i was drawn heavily towards queercoded male characters like i think that’s a lot of it#i guess i have worried about manliness in some ways but it’s never really been something i’ve aimed for#the closest thing would be like. gentlemanly fkdhdknd#or something along those lines#anyway some men just click for me in terms of people i can kind of reference myself to and it’s like#often a pleasant surprise when it happens#alan cumming and persolaise are very much on that list#another essay in the tags
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i am literally so hungry and yet i am like paralyzed in my seat. why can't i get up and go get food. why am i just sitting here while my stomach wallows in agony. i feel ill. jay be normal
#qktalks#be normal.#me when i can't take care of myself ??? girl just get up and go nothing is stopping u (it feels like the world is stopping me)#anyway sorry this started off as a weird vent post or whatever. u guys know what i miss? animal jam#i miss that game so much#i also played a lot of happy pets on facebook when i was little i've been genuinely considering making a new facebook just to play it again#but is it worth it. no. no is the answer to that#i remember when i played animal jam back when i was little and i finally got that one headdress accessory that was the craze back then#and my best friend at the time got so jealous abt it that they hacked into my account while i was asleep and traded it w their own account#and the next day i was like ''where did all my stuff go'' and they were like ''haha idk'' while wearing my fucking outfit#honestly that's rly hilarious. the fucking audacity#little me wasn't ballsy enough to go ''uhm i think the fuck not'' i was like just ''oh ......... okay :(''#but u bet ur ass if i was as confident back then as i am now ? i woulda maimed them#yes <3 over a video game. that's what kids do didn't u know <3#god i do miss happy pets tho#that game was so fun and silly. i deleted my facebook tho all my houses upon houses of pets r gone#u could have glowing tigers!!!!!#JUST GOOGLED HAPPY PETS THE GAME GOT SHUT DOWN . OHTHIS IS HORRIBLE#will be mourning this game all night. will be crying in the shower over it#<- acting like she's not in a depressive spiral and will absolutely NOT be showering#im holding a roblox funeral for happy pets who wants to join [has never once played roblox]#anyway weird topic-less rant over goodnight <3 to all my new followers yes i am slightly strange
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please god let’s not make this person relevant again
#haiIey aka squi.g.glydi.gg aka ke.y.blac.k is a massively racist homophobic transphobic trump supporting bigot PLS#IT'S WHY SHE REBRANDED LIKE GOD KNOWS HOW MANY TIMES.. LMAO SHE'S ASS. LET HER STAY IRRELEVANT I'M BEGGING#iirc she literally got kicked off the mystery skulls animated projects when it surfaced that she's a big big freak#and hysterically her rant about how much she hates lilo (yes the 5 year old disney charcter) is what got her outed as a bigot#bc her rant about lilo being evil and abusive got so many eyes on her tumblr that people started looking at her posts on her personal and#hooooo boy there sure was some shit on there alright#all i specifically remember was her being pissy about ppl thinking she might be kweer bc she has short hair and dresses kinda masc sometime#and she was all like ewww wtf don't think i'm some ''gender confused'' weirdo (jfc)#and then she had some other posts that were pro-kids in cages at the border#SO#if i see her bendy stuff start givin her relevance again i swear to got 😭#OH ALSO I JUST REMEMBERED HER JUMPING SHIP FROM TUMBLR AND TWITTER bc people Hated Her AND MAKING PARLER OR WHATEVER IT'S CALLED HER MAIN#and then the second she got back on twitter the first thing she did was be all bestie chummies with a dude tweeting slurs 💀 bruhh
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On another note since I can't find my Okami game and before my brain can keep blowing it out of proportion (who cares if the disk is gone is saves to the Wii console not the fucking disk calm your tits brain I can still be a Pomeranian for shits and giggles if I want fuck you) I've been thinking about the Staffbot situation again...
Fucking hell was the staff party actually to round them up and kill the human staff?? Why??? For what purpose??? Were the Staffbots essentially just overcomplicated remote control cars with no AI built in so they used these people as the AI??? Do they want revenge??? Freedom??? Death??? Will they ever get it??? Where did their bodies go??? How has no one noticed so many missing people??? How would you even free them??? Fire??? Some sort of master controller that's preventing their souls from moving on??? Can Roxy see them???
That whole situation is wild and it feels so over the top given everything else that's happening. Like, bro, do we really need more shit happening??? Come on...
#yes my brain has been cooking some spooky ghost shit where Roxy is fucking HAUNTED by these guys#why?? because she has special eyes. she can't actually see what's wrong but looking at them too long makes her whole head spin#but all they know is she can see SOMETHING please oh PLEASE remember them please set them free she's the only one that can see#and so her ass is HAUNTED and she's losing her god damn mind cause are you KIDDING???#as if she doesn't have ENOUGH to deal with????#first storyteller then glitchtrap now this?? ON TOP of mimic???? fucks sake she's NOT paid enough for this#it's WILD to me because like. it looks like I'm being all 'haha blorbo has to deal with EVERYTHING' but think about it#if anyone would know what's going on or that something's wrong or be able to see what Fazbear doesn't want them to...#it's gonna be Roxy.#canonically a part of the MXES security system. canonically can see through walls talks to herself and stares at people through them#has a 'fuck you I know what I'm doing' attitude too?? yeah she's burdened with knowledge. it makes sense!#AND there's Vanny I forgot about that I just sorta categorise her with Glitch but they're separate entities I keep forgetting#like come on no wonder she's obsessed with winning if she loses someone's probably gonna die#but the insane part is that not only did she not sign up for this#neither did fucking Fazbear who gave her this ability to see everything#they were like 'hurdurdurdur guard mimic wurrburdurrr'#and then gave her the ability to see all the other fucked up shit and they thought 'well that's not her job she won't care'#and then OBVIOUSLY she DOES care what the FUCK do you MEAN she WOULDN'T care about fucking DEAD BODIES#are you JOKING#ya know??? yeah#it's insane#ya girl is DROWNING
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I always tell my littlest cousins stories before bedtime (usually about gods and myths) but occasionally I tell them an original story, and I'm listening back to a recording I made the one time I thought to record myself telling one and I'm like "Wow, I’m actually a really good frickin storyteller."
(Yes, I’m a professional writer, but sometimes it’s nice to be reminded that I’m good at what I do.)
#i talk#This is one I'd love to someday publish as a short story#I love telling stories to my younger cousins because I can embellish things and add so much to stories I already know#but for this original story it's so nice to have it all in one place#told so simply but in such a fascinating way that I'm like ''I know where the story is going but even I can't remember wtf I said''#the story remains the same but the telling changes every time#it's just so cool!!! I love oral storytelling!!!#awh man that reminds me#Whenever I feel a little self-conscious about my storytelling skills#I'll reread old works or old comments#but every once in a while I remember when I was back in grade school (like 6th grade I think?)#I was on the playground and we were talking about horror movies and for whatever reason when someone asked if I'd seen Chucky I said yes#I hadn't because I really don't like horror movies but I said yes because I knew what their next question would be#and sure enough; they said ''oh yeah? Prove it. What happens in the movie?''#so for the next 30 minutes I tell the most insane gripping story about a possessed doll and everything that happens with it#and like I kid you not I started off with like 4 kids listening and by the end I had 10 - 15 kids sitting around me as I told this story#and I wish I could remember what kind of story I told because I remember it being sick as hell#and at the end when recess was over and we were all going back in one of my friends came up to me and asked if I really saw Chucky#and I confessed that no I'd never seen it I just knew it was about a scary doll or something#and they told me my story was so cool#:')#idk man. getting mad warm and fuzzies over my storytelling skills#living up to the 'ol url I guess#anyways I'm gonna go back to what I was doing and keep listening to the recording#this thing is 30 minutes long. My little cousins are the BEST listeners because they always ask such engaging questions#I love it#I love them :')#cousin talk#Sorry quick repost because the other one was rebloggable for some reason#and Tumblr wouldn't let me change that
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The funny thing about uruguay is that you can easily go from 39°C to -4°C in one day and most people reaction is just going "not this shit again" and going to put more water to boil to drink mate
#i don't remember a time were it wasn't like this#yes it is worse now#but Uruguay has always had a changing climate from one extreme to the other from one day to another#and people are just like#Oh time to post that take the coat off put the coat in karate kid gift and poner agua pal mate
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I realised that the 10k words that I currently have is likely a much smaller fraction of the hypothetical completed work than I thought it was going to be and I told myself I shouldn't take anything out because it all seems to be fitting together fairly neatly BUT I am def starting to have my doubts about the value of "the scene where the two male characters discuss whether the female character (who is not in this scene) should be breastfeeding the baby that she just had with one of those men (but she's been passing it off as the other one's)" because WTF that sounds AWFUL and I think I only put it in there because I was all YAY I'M JUST GONNA WRITE ABOUT MEDIEVAL QUEENS (KIND OF!!!) and there was that whole Thing in monarchies where you have to get a wetnurse in because breastfeeding reduces fertility and your shitty husband needs AT LEAST another couple of boys what with infant mortality being what it was in them days. And for some reason (probably sleep-deprivation TBQH) I at some point thought that it wouid be a good thing to put into an MCU fic???
#wip tag#now that i type this out it has become both worse AND funnier to me so who knows what i will decide to do with it in the end#i also remembered that this entire adventure into whatever the heck i am actually making now is because i realised that two famous queens#i forget which ones OBVIOUSLY#were famous for pulling off the same feat#which is 1) pop out at least one boy#2) outlive your shitty husband#and 3) your child-king son is now basically your talking puppet and you run a country now you go girl yas queen slay etc etc etc#i think one might have been catherine di medici? and... possibly margaret beaufort? (i know henry wasn't a kid at the time but yk)#POSSIBLY one was Empress Cixi? aka the one non-European more-or-less-queen that I know anything about#but anyway yes the trick here is to have a royal son and then refuse to ever die#elizabeth woodville has to be an Honourary Mention because she COULD have done it as well#had her brother-in-law not realised she was about to do that and kidnapped usurped and then probably-murdered the boy in question#Henry VIII's famous gang of queens all failed to meet at least one of the requirements :(#anyway hello some years ago i started reading books about famous dead queens and now what have i become???#BTW monarchies are a terrible idea#just scrolled up to see wtf i am typing this stuff under oh yeah it's the post about the lactation debate scene oh noooo#gonna... gonna hit post now while i still can#the Sylki AU that got longer and wronger
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I memorized all my limes!
#soph’s posts#Hash tag theater kid problems#Hold on let’s see if I can remember my monologue:#Call me what you will! But it was during the stink years you see. Nobody thought they had much time then so many of us did…#Questionable things. There was the looting of course. And the hoarding. But there were also the fond farewells and the late night trysts.#Life was an explosion filled with riots! Cheap cabarets! Dancing girls! Oh yes. And love. There was love like no tomorrow.#For there was no tomorrow. But there is always a tomorrow of some kind or another. After you were born your father made me promise…#Never to reveal my identity to you- for I was something of a strumpet in my day. But never in my wildest-#That’s it lol
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yknow what, i am just gonna skip the transmisogynistic joke quota episode in bw. at this point i just wanna skip all the gross episodes or at least skip past any gross moments
#even as a kid i remember really not liking this episode. actually i never found any of these sorts of episodes funny#im not saying that to be like ‘’oh i ALWAYS knew that was bad so shame on you if you laughed as a kid’’ but like literally idk whats funny#i just felt uncomfortable seeing ash get embarassed and humiliated#its like in the same vein as needlessly meanspirited cartoons to me where they just go out of your way to make you feel bad#and the characters are always twisted to be ooc to make the episode work like i remember this episode feeling so ooc for iris#and the alola one is also really ooc for the alola gang. it gives me a gross feeling#the one thing of value i remember from the bw one is the out of context pikachu image where ppl were like omg trans pikachu#which is like. its a cute meme yes but its sad bc the source is literally transmisogynistic:(#echoed voice
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