#oh yeah this was marinating in my drafts for a while

[pyr0peyt]

Y'all ever think about how much goddamn property damage the Hyperforce is responsible for?

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

BIG OL HECKIN EDIT:

I am a dum dum who forgot how to spell @sassenach-on-the-rocks amid my existential terror and dread of the deleted-draft incident mentioned below, and then did a Dum Dum no Double-Down by forgetting to update until now. This headcanon is their brainchild and they deserve all the credit for it.

You may now continue with your previously intended brainrot viewing.

I'm VERY INCREDIBLY MIFFED, MY GUYS.

I had this entire post finished and almost completely formatted and saved it as a draft to finish formatting it on my computer

And it DIDN'T SAVE. And I nearly SCREEEEEMED.

It was for an ask request and I also can't seem to tag the person that sent the ask.

I am A N G E R Y

But after several deep breaths and reminding myself that violence is not the answer, here we are.

At any rate. The ask request was for headcanons involving One Piece boyos taking reader to a Masquerade ball.

To the asker, should you still be around to see it, I really really loved this and thank you so, so much for it ❤️❤️ I really enjoyed finding masks to match their aesthetics.

Only deviation I made was Zoro; you meet him there rather than going with him. It just felt right that way for some reason.

And awaaaaaaaay we go~

The Masquerade

Sanji, Zoro, Shanks, Mihawk, Buggy x Reader

SFW Headcanons

This was really so fun and cute and I thank Asker so so much for this.

♫♬Little By Little — The Fratellis♬♫

You wear your mask, I'll wear mine, they don't come cheap but they fit just fine

You can be her and I can be him, and we can both sink while the rest all swim

Sanji

He heard about it when you made port, and there's no way he's not taking you.

He's been looking for an opportunity to take you on the perfect first date, and this is it.

Perfect opportunity for the two of you to get away from the crew for and have a little alone time.

A little dancing, a little wine, a little champagne—it's perfect.

Makes sure not to tell anyone else, if Luffy hears there's free food he'll insist on going and the whole thing will no doubt end in chaos.

He doesn't even tell you—all he tells you, after presenting you with a brand new dress and jewelry (which most likely cost him every last berry in his wallet), is that he would like to take you out for the evening.

And how could you turn him down?

"Come on, love. I promise it will be the best evening you've ever had."

The effort he's already put in, those puppy-dog eyes....

You spend the evening dancing, talking, enjoying the free food, every ounce of his attention on you the entire time as he ensures that you feel like a princess.

Making sure that everyone has their eyes on the pair of you on the dance floor, that they know you're there with him.

Somehow ending up chit-chatting with the catering staff toward the end of the night and being invited to their far less formal after-party.

Stumbling back to the Merry hours later together, half-drunk and giggling and positive that it's the best night you've ever had.

Zoro

"What the hell...?"

He got lost and wandered in.

No idea what's going on, why are all these people wearing masks and dancing?? What exactly is going on this is weird as—

Oh hey there's an open bar, cool.

You recognize him from his bounty poster fairly quickly. There are a lot of marines here, and he really isn’t causing any problems, but he's getting a lot of strange looks...so you decide to do the guy a favor and shove a mask in his hands.

He looks at you like you're speaking another language as you explain where he is and convince him to just put on the damned mask already.

"A ball? I thought this was some kind of weird cult or something."

You just stare at him in disbelief—he thought it was a cult and he's just standing around enjoying the free drinks. 

What.

You brush it off and tell him if he wants to fit in, then dancing is probably a good idea.

He's frowning at you again.

"Yeah, I don't really...do that."

You roll your eyes—there are still people eyeing him suspiciously, you have to do something, so when he finishes his next drink you just grab him by the wrist and drag him out to the dance floor.

Cue impromptu ballroom dancing lessons. He keeps stepping on your feet and mumbling apologies, but it's kind of cute how hard he's trying.

You really can't help but giggle at his explanation that he just got lost and wandered in here.

But you're glad he did—you doubt you would have had nearly as much fun otherwise.

Shanks

Heard about the whole shin-dig while in port.

"Hey that sounds like fun, we should crash it."

You try to be stern, but he pulls out the puppy dog eyes.

"Oh come on please?"

God dammit....

And maybe an hour later you're both making masks.

There's glitter and glue and feathers all over the captain's cabin and you're already dreading cleaning it up.

His has a giant gaudy pirate hat. Because of course it has a giant gaudy pirate hat. He's so proud of it, grinning like a little kid in an arts and crafts class when he holds it up to show you, that you can't even bring yourself to admonish him for it.

And of course the whole thing is invitation-only, and of course he manages to sweet-talk his way in anyway.

Just having such a good time, really doesn't care if anyone recognizes him.

Really doesn't care, just drinking and making small talk and joking with several lower-ranking Marines in attendance who are clearly very nervous.

Within an hour, while you're in the middle of dancing and deciding that maybe this wasn't *such* a bad idea, an announcement is made for everyone to leave immediately.

Judging by the sheer number of Marines outside there's no doubt as to why.

He just gives you a guilty grin before picking you up over his shoulder and bolting back to the ship.

Mihawk

Actually received an invitation, just rolled his eyes and tossed it in the trash.

You dig it out and pout about it until he rolls his eyes and gives in.

"Fine. No more than an hour."

At lease there will be free wine.

Unsurprisingly spends a great deal of time standing in a corner and sipping said wine while staring around haughtily at the other partygoers.

Would much rather be drinking wine back in his secluded castle and not having to deal with other humans.

Spends the vast majority of the evening standing in a corner and nursing a glass of wine while glaring around haughtily at the other guests, daring them to even think of attempting to make small-talk with him.

Doesn't move from his designated corner until he sees other guests daring to flirt with you, at which point he promptly saunters over to pull you to the dance floor and ensure everyone is well aware that you're there with him.

Lightens up a little after that (which may or may not have something to do with the several glasses of wine he's already consumed), but absolutely will not admit that it actually turned out to be a rather nice evening.

He will, however, hold this over your head and remind you that you owe him.

But you know the truth, considering he's a little more willing to attend such events with you after this.

Buggy

Oh what now? An excuse to be absolutely flamboyant and unhinged in public?

You're going. Period. There will no arguments.

He's already got a collection of masks and costumes anyway, this is going to be a blast.

You lose track of him shortly after you get there. You're pretty sure that the explosion that went off toward the back corner of the dance floor had something to do with him.

He finds you while you're sipping a glass of champagne in downright annoyance and proudly informs you that he's made bank going through pockets at the coat check while everyone was distracted by his little diversion.

"Ah, don't worry, babe, they won't notice. They're too busy schmoozing and kissing ass."

Standing around making small-talk with other guests in the most ridiculous put-on aristocratic accent he can possibly muster, introducing you variably as some foreign dignitary or princess from a far off land.

Literally can't take this idiot anywhere.

[owlight]

Hello hello! I’ve been really enjoying reading your writing and saw that your requests were open! (:

May I request Zoro, Usopp + a character of your choice (even if it’s nobody) with a gn! s/o who has no sense of danger? They just enjoy the excitement of adventure and rush into things with no thought ~

Thank you in advance if you decide to take my request !

Thank you for requesting 💖😚 I love this request fr,been in my draft for few months I'm sorry for that

Tags: not proof read, fluff, reckless behaviors,making up plots as I write

Zoro & Usopp & Trafalgar law with a gn!s/o with no sense of danger

Zoro

You're like Luffy but worse because unlike Luffy you're smart and still choose to walk right through the danger of life without a blink of an eye

But lucky for you ! Zoro is built different (kinda himbo ngl) and he will walk through danger with you with no thought too because someone gotta keep you safe while you walk into the most obvious death trap ever

He will always keep an eye on you ,just to make sure you don't get yourself into trouble,but just like Luffy you wander off on your own ,he goes after you (he get lost in his way to find you) and then he find you fighting some marine captain at a bar for some animal crackers

He so chill with you because years of begin with Luffy had made him immune to no sense of danger (he is also like you too so he doesn't mind it much)

He really like your fearless side ,you could get into the wildest most dangerous situation and you would still have your smile ,he admire that about you a lot

"(y/n) nami told us to stay low" Zoro grumble as he carry you under his arm and run from the marine troops running after you two "yeah but he was a dick to the waitress AND tried hitting on me" you defend yourself, Zoro shakes his head "...you got yourself a point but I'm not taking the blame when we reach the ship,you will !" Zoro says as he run down some alleyway to hide from the Marines,he can't help but smile at the fact you still trying to get free to fight the Marines...ah yeah he is a bit more in love with you because he want to do that too but for once he gotta put your safety before his hunger for a good fight...

He will try his best to let you be doing your adventures safely,he is strong and can protect you well but eh if only he wasn't so bad at actually stopping you from doing reckless things

He will agree to anything reckless you want to do because he Is just...he think it's a good idea? Why not fight a whole troop on your own with him? Both of you are capable???? He doesn't see why everyone think that's dangerous

He is your ride or die for real,he would go down with you with anything without a thought usually,he might argue for like one minute then he would give in Because he think you got a valid point

he might be Stern with you sometimes to make sure you don't harm yourself though , putting yourself in harm is his last thing on his list (still on the list tho)

He enjoys your spirit, quality time with you always lead to him learning new things about himself like he could fight five crocodiles to grab you from an untimely death

He is a 10/10 boyfriend, would help you invade a country if you asked enough

Law

Law sometimes wonder how you both Ended up together, you are the complete opposite from him ,you rush into things ,you are reckless,you don't care for danger

But again you're the reason why he is able to do so many new things ,explore new island and get into some questionable situations

"(y/n)-ya....where were you..and why are you holding a Capybara?" Law asks as he stand on the deck of the Polar Tang,you are standing on the sand as you look at the decked submarine ship "oh yeah,see I went to explore the island with bepo and then I have seen some guy,see the guy called himself the capybara king and he was terrorizing the people of the island,turning them into capybara and I had to fight him and yeah I kinda lost the fight..... and I need your help" you tell him and law rub his temple,so tiredly "we shouldn't care it's not our business,we should leave,get Bepo and let's leave the island" law says sternly and you smiles sheepishly "ahhhh..this is Bepo though,he turned him into a Capybara cuz he took the fall instead of me..."

Law left eye twitch slightly as he grab his sword ".....alright show me where is that bastard ,I will deal with him and then we are leaving and you are grounded for the next month"

You are the reason why he partly have anxiety from new places ,please stop getting into dangerous situation the moment your foot hit an island

He is this close ".." on just starting to put you on those kid leashes before going anywhere,just so you don't wander off somewhere and end up liberating some island by accident

He appreciates your fearlessness yet it make him worry so much about you,please Just stop trying to have some new adventure he know you're a Pirate but You are not immune to injuries

He patch you up after every adventure you end injured from ,he is always glued to you after that ,making sure you don't leave his sight

The crew have a chart for watching (baby sitting) you duty ,they all trying to help law not get grey hair before his thirties by watching over you before you end up somewhere you are not supposed to be

Law still loves you though,your energy is a fresh breath of air in his life even if you always acting so recklessly ,he still adores you

Will try to explore with you sometimes in hope to keep you entertained and safe (you end up finding the one piece I swear)

6.4/10 boyfriend , would stop you from doing a lot of dangerous things ,but sometimes he will watches you do dumb reckless things just to see you come to ask him for help ,it's his favorite routine in a way

Usopp

Every night ,he pray to god that you stop trying to do these dangerous adventures because you always end up dragging him with you ,bless your heart your idea of fun is like active suicide activities in his eyes

He loves you truly but he can so much play brave in face of death,you are like Luffy (but without the plot armor) and he worry sick for you whenever he sees you wander off to your new adventure whenever you reach a new island ,and so much against his own self preservation..he follows you

"my love... I'm pretty I saw Marines camping nearby" Usopp mumble as he hold your hand, walking with you,you have no care in the world as you walk " oh yeah I know,I already burnt Thier camp, they won't bother us for a while while we gather what we need " Usopp felt his eyes jump from his skull '' YOU DID WHAT?"

" oh damn is that judgement??? Uso! I was keeping us safe,beside I made sure no one was inside ya know,it will be more calm for us to walk!" You explains to him and he sighs deeply,your intentions are pure yet your action was what he could describe,a crackhead level plan "we will have to deal with angry marines when they discover what you did ,they will probably call for backup"

You shake your head with a little mischievous grin " they won't be able to,I took all Thier den den mushi mushi " you tell him as you show him your bag,and it was true it was filled with transport snails different shapes and looks very relaxed as they eat a.. cabbage? Do you keep cabbages in your backbag?

"....alright I guess you...really thought this out" Usopp mumble nervously,failing to see that one of the snails look like it belonged to a certain golden suit admiral...he trust you enough to not be that foolish..but you are unfortunately and he is in love with you..

Always have a mini heart attack because of you,have mercy on his soul he will have a heart condition because of reckless you can be combined with Luffy own recklessness,how did he end up having to be with two reckless people in the same crew???

He tries his best to district you off any dangerous situation,so you don't jump at it ,just like with Luffy ,he would gaslight you into NOT going to the dangerous Island because no we didn't just go pass it please don't tell Luffy about it

You are Chaotic good,which he appreciates you are not doing all that out of idiocy (like Luffy) but sheer curiosity and wanting to explore ,it's cute

He singlehandedly saved you 68836 times by begin the voice of reason for you and you listen to him because you love him

He would save you if you need saving ,he would man up for you just to save you and you would appreciate him and love him-at least that what he thinks he want to do, usually you end up saving him ngl

You and him are the polar opposite yet mash together so well,you still listen to him when things get serious and he still let you go apeshit when he notices you needing to let your energy out

He still adores you anyway, because after you get tired from getting into so much adventures ,you cuddle to him like a little cat and he goes through 7737 stage of happiness while biting his hand to not wake you up

You're so precious to him in general even if he is pretty sure he is getting white hair because of you

10/10 boyfriend ngl , would try to stop you but fails miserably and end up joining you,is good at lying his ass and getting you both out of trouble so good for you ngl

[chigirisprincess]

Between the Stacks ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

— Lisa Minci

⊹ Details. 18+ minors dni, dni if you are not sapphic, afab!reader, reader described as being able to have visible bruises, oral (reader receiving), power bottom lisa, subtop reader, liberal usage of canonical pet names, reader is referred to as puppy, praise, teasing, tit sucking, semi-public sex (in the library) and making out. ⊹ Run time. 4.0k ⊹ Note. This fic as been marinating in my drafts for a while, the smut isn't my favourite as I'm a bit rusty but I hope you all enjoy <3

The Knights of Favonius Library is quiet, unusually so. It lacks the usual hum of life and hushed chatter that bounces off the ornate pine wood shelves. All that lingers in the deep recesses of the thick stacks is the quiet jingling bell that’s attached to Lisa’s wide-brimmed hat. If you closed your eyes you might’ve been tricked into thinking one of Maraget’s kittens had gotten loose in the library, but the telltale sound of Lisa’s heels clicking alongside her bell told you it was her.

“You should probably take this off,” you whisper, a coy smile, “Lest we want Jean to suspect that we’re milling about after hours.”

Lisa tosses you a look over her shoulder, “She’d surely scold us, and wouldn’t that just be terrible!” She laughs, swiping her gloved fingers across her forehead to push her bangs out of her eyes, “The Acting Grand Master barging in here to tell us off, are you shaking yet my dear?”

“No!”

Sticking your tongue out at her, you take a single, daring, step closer to her. Lisa’s eyebrows shoot up to her forehead when you delicately pluck her hat from her head. Tossing it to the floor, you try not to cringe as dust flies up from the shelves.

“Dear me! I really should get Noelle in here to do some cleaning,” Lisa whines, her lips falling into a pout.

“That’s not Noelle’s job!”

“It kind of is.”

The innocent look Lisa sports crumbles all too quickly, like she knows no matter how well she wears it, it’ll never convince you. Pressing your fingers to her jaw, you bring her gaze back towards you, “It’s not, but you know I’d be more than happy to be put to work.”

“I’d love nothing more than to put you to work, cutie,” she hums, “But, not in the way you’re thinking.”

Cocking your head to the side, you narrow your eyes at Lisa, “Oh yeah?” You question, “And what exactly am I thinking then? Since you and that genius brain of yours know everything.”

Smoothing her gloved thumb across your bottom lip, Lisa offers you a smirk. It makes a shiver zip up your spine, goosebumps dotting along the length of your arms despite the balmy summer air that filters through the cracked open windows. Pressing down on your lip to expose your teeth to her, Lisa chuckles at the small whimper that crawls up your throat.

“Obviously you think I want you to be my maid,” Lisa says, as it if truly were the most obvious thing in the world. Initially, you did think that’s what Lisa was aiming towards, getting you all worked up only for her to ask you to help her finish dusting. It wouldn’t be the first time Lisa would dangle the carrots in front of your nose, nor would it be the last, “Though, I must admit you would look absolutely scrumptious in a maid dress.”

Allowing her other hand to fall around your hips, Lisa continues on with a laugh, “However, what I had in mind was a bit more … racy …” She hums, “C’mon darling don’t play dumb, you know exactly how I want you.”

“I do?”

It’s a genuine question. At least you hope it came across as convincing enough for Lisa to share some of the wicked thoughts that were bouncing around her mind. You liked it better that way, when Lisa indulged you with the depravity a scholar like her could conjure up. Not that you weren’t all that creative, but there was something about the language she used, it boarded on academic like she’d learnt it just to explain all these complex theories and concepts and still wanted to be seen for the brilliant mind she was even amidst the throes of pleasure. It was fucking filthy. You shivered at the mere thought of it, preening in hopes of her indulging you once more. After all, there was no better place to flex intellectual prowess than Mondstadt’s one and only public library.

“You do,” Lisa settles on a hungered expression, it doesn’t quite mask the pithy swamp of lust that permeates her green eyes but it keeps you from coyishly leering. The lilt of her tone tells you she’s grown tired of your games, tired before they had ever truly begun but she was never one to play by the rules of another, “Are you really gonna make me say it?”

You nod, and your eyes find themselves trained on her lips. They’re painted a lovely shade of pink, it’s glossy enough that you know she’s wearing something but still neutral enough for foolish men like Huffan or Pallad to think they were naturally like that. You liked it better when she painted them with something rich and deep, a colour that would mar the pale skin of her face when you smeared it; something that would mark you too when she blotted her lips along your neck and jawline. This, this would do though. 

“Yes,” you breathed, wrapping your hand around her wrist, “Enlighten me, you know I’m nothing but a fool around you so I need you to fill in the blanks.”

Your teeth catch the fabric of her glove, it’s loose around the tip of her thumb and dangled precariously in front of your face as she tugged and taunted your bottom lip. Lisa lets out a small yip of surprise when your bottom teeth catch at her flesh before clamping down on the silk. Your head reeled back and Lisa had no choice but to let her hand fall slack as her glove slid up the length of her deceptively long, lithe fingers. You let it drop to the floor without a second thought, threading your fingers with hers as she blinks back at you.

“Oh, how could I forget,” she hums, pressing the back of your hand against her mouth, “You’re just a dumb little puppy, who needs to be told exactly what to do, isn’t that right darling?”

You nod happily, your body aching to reach forward and touch all the parts of her you had been deprived of while the two of you worked.

“Sit, puppy,” Lisa instructed, tipping her chin towards the worn, lumpy couch that sat behind you.

The springs groaned beneath your weight as you plopped back, dust and stray feathers plumed around you. The cushions are well-worn, frayed around the edges, and lumpy from how many times they’ve been restuffed and fluffed up. Despite its age and the way it creaks when you move around too much, the couch was comfortable and your body began to melt into the cushions as Lisa watched you with hawkish eyes.

Curling her forefinger towards her, Lisa beckons you to angle your hips towards her. Hooking her hands behind your knees, Lisa helps you settle near the edge of the sofa. The bottom of your skirt bunches up beneath your bum and exposes your frilly panties. There’s a hot, sticky wet spot along the seam of your cunt, it soaks through the thin cotton, begging for Lisa’s attention.

“What’s this?” Lisa coos, her bottom lip catching between her teeth, “Someone’s needy, aren’t they?”

“Shut up!” You whine between gritted teeth, Lisa laughs at your petulant tone and it drives another moan up your throat.

Lisa’s thumb presses into your throbbing clit through the damp cloth and that seems to quiet your voice as your mouth falls open into a sharp gasp. She playfully teases you through your panties, languidly rubbing circles until your legs melt against the sofa. Your bottom lip catches between your teeth to stifle the whimper that has slithered up to the tip of your tongue. The firm pressure of her thumb against you is just enough to warm your body up and leave you wanting so much more from her, but Lisa liked it when you begged just a little bit too much. You didn’t want to give her the satisfaction, not yet.

A set of soft green eyes sear holes through you from between your thighs, “Does this feel good, puppy?” Lisa questions though she can tell from your pinched expression that you’d say no, “Does my puppy like when I touch them like this?”

You shake your head just to watch Lisa roll her eyes, a breathy moan passes through your lips before you suck in another deep breath and clamp your lips shut. You were in a library after all and Lisa was always reminding you to keep quiet.

“No?” She fakes a pout, her brows pushing together as she stops her ministrations, “Let’s see if I can change that then.”

There’s an audible squelching sound when Lisa begins to peel your underwear away from your drooling cunt, your slick desire soaking the supple skin of your inner thighs. Lisa’s pink tongue darts out to wet her lips, you wonder if they taste of cherry or vanilla. Soon, they’d taste of nothing but you.

“Such a pretty pussy,” Lisa hums, trailing one delicate finger along your hip, “Should I have a taste, puppy?”

You nod before your brain has a chance to verbalize a response, “Yes,” you pant, your hands reaching out to caress the top of her head, “Please Lisa, I’ve been waiting all day for you to touch me … and kiss me.”

“I’ve already done both of those things, darling.”

The devilish glint that simmers within the wells of Lisa’s eyes sends your mind into a tizzy.

“I know.”

“And, besides that's not what I asked you,” Lisa muses, “Be a good puppy and answer me, unless you prefer to sit like this and have a chat?”

Pushing away the urge to roll your eyes, you peer down at Lisa with a pout, “Please eat my pussy out,” you whimper as the soft pads of your fingers graze against her scalp.

A low sound of satisfaction rumbles from within Lisa’s chest, your response must have pleased her.

Her plump lips press against the swell of your pussy, a chaste and affectionate kiss placed upon your labia before she spreads your lips apart with two dainty fingers. The tip of her tongue is teased against your slit as if she were sampling a glass of wine before deciding if she wished to commit to it. Your head lolls back against the plush couch, sweat-dabbled tendrils of your hair stick against the length of your flushed neck. The air has grown thick and even hotter, Lisa always kept the windows closed to preserve the wispy, aged pages of parchment contained within the library at Jean’s alleged behest. It made your skin grow even warmer, the humidity making your clothing cling uncomfortably to your body. Your mind could not ruminate on your discomfort any further because Lisa seemed to have decided she was ready to feast.

Her tongue is pressed flat against your cunt, licking a clean line up from your weeping hole to your swollen clit. Your hips buckle beneath the weight of her hand as you squirm in her hold, “Right there,” you rasp, boorishly pushing her head deeper into your pussy, “Need you right there Lisa!”

The rumble of her laughter sends a jolt up the length of your spine, Lisa allows her lips to wrap around your clit for a moment as if to say “Here?”.

The weepy moan you let out makes you feel pathetic in the best possible way, “Yes,” you cry, angling your hips upwards so she can take you deeper into her mouth, “Please, baby!”

She seems to oblige your needy disposition, lavishing you with her tongue and feather-light suckles until you writhed beneath her. Your thighs threatened to clamp around her head as they twitched. Pressing a finger against your hole, Lisa slowly begins to work your cunt open, curling it slightly upwards. Her name slides from your lips in a repeated melody, as if you were nothing but an entranced sailor and she was the siren whose spell you were bound to.

Lisa slides in another finger as a gasp pours out of you and for a second the wind is knocked out from within your lungs.

“Breathe, sweetheart,” she murmurs against you, worried eyes flitting upwards, “You need to take a breath.”

You feel a bit stupid as you greedily inhale as per her instruction, nearly making a show of how well you take to her instruction. Thank Barbatos, you think to yourself. It’s morose and for a moment you’re distracted by a flash of panic at the prospect of the Anemo Archon becoming privy to your sex life because you had been dumb enough to invite him with your thoughts.

“Eyes on me.”

Lisa looks peeved that you’ve allowed your mind to wander even for a moment and you mutter a small “I’m sorry,” between heavy, pleasured sighs. Keeping your eyes locked with hers, heat floods the apples of your cheeks. Her gaze is piercing and slightly predatory like she’d chew you up and spit you out once she was done with you. The whispers called her a maneater but as she ate you, you couldn’t help but relish in the irony.

“Sorry,” you pant, pathetically whining when Lisa pinches your thigh. Her nails are long, naturally and they’ll leave a mark on your skin because you’ve always been one to bruise easily, “You’re so good to me, I feel so… mm, good.”

She chuckles a bit, “Are you already this dumb for me?” Lisa questions, caressing the moon-shaped indents she’s left on your skin, “All you can say is ‘good’?”

Nodding your head, you press her head back towards your cunt, keening as she slips in another finger. You might have agreed with her but whatever you tried to say became swallowed up by a wanton moan. Your tongue felt too heavy to form any other words and any lingering thoughts on the semantics of the archons slipped away. All you could think of was how her hot, wet tongue swirled around your clit and the heavy little pants of breath she let out. 

Your nails dig into the soft flesh of her scalp as you press her face impossibly closer. Lisa welcomes the weight of your calves on her shoulders, it allows her to keep your hips pinned down with ease as you squirm. The muscles in your abdomen tighten as a wave of pleasure rolls through you. Bliss is within fingers' length and you inch toward it at a mind-numbing pace. Lisa was too good, she knew your body too, and it made you resent how easily you fell apart at her hand. The fun would be over too soon but somewhere in the back of your head, you could hear her pretty voice telling you to let go and be good— to come for her and her alone.

Dropping your head into the worn cushions of the sofa, you whimper her name. Her long, lithe fingers have found that spot inside of you that turns you to putty as she rubs the pads of her fingers along it. Your orgasm rolls through you with ease and brings forth a fuzzy, heavy feeling to your head and your limbs as the tension in your body melts away. Your pussy squelches around Lisa’s hand as she finger fucks you through your high. She laps up your juices as your cunt gushes with such an eager vigour that your cheeks fill heat.

The wet pop that sounds as Lisa pulls away from your pussy is embarrassing but your whines are silenced as she plants a sloppy kiss on your still throbbing clit. Her face is flushed pink and her mouth is glossy. Lisa kisses you before you’re able to spend too long admiring her appearance. The taste of you lingers on her tongue and lips and you moan into her mouth as she lavishes you.

“Feel better?” She coos as she brushes her knuckles across your cheekbone.

You nod lazily a small, “Yes,” passing your lips as you hum.

With a quick peck to your cheek, Lisa rises to her feet. She wobbles for a moment as the blood rushes back to her legs and disappears into some far corner of the library within a blink of an eye. Though, she doesn’t leave you for too long, her smiling face emerging from around the corner just as you were about to call for her.

“Did you miss me, darling?” She asks with a giggle, her hands tucked behind her back, “Now, don’t lie to me because I can see it in your face!”

You stick your tongue out at her like a petulant child but still open your arms to beckon her into your embrace, “Come here, I wanna cuddle.”

“I would, but I have a surprise for you!”

Cocking your head to the side you peer up at Lisa with expectant eyes.

“You have to guess!” She exclaims, tucking herself between the arm of the sofa and your thigh, “Come on, you know you want to, sweetheart!”

Pressing your finger to your lip in faux contemplation you pretend to think long and hard, “A bottle of water?”

Lisa rolls her eyes in a playful manner, lightly smacking your thigh, “You’re supposed to try!” She whines, “You’re no fun, no it’s not a bottle of water!”

Producing her hand from behind her back with a flourish, Lisa presents some sort of sex toy. 

“What is that?” You ask, furrowing your brows together.

“It’s the latest fun from Fontaine, “Lisa muses with a giggle, “Gods, they never fail to amaze and amuse me!”

“How does it work?”

A devilish smirk rises to her lips at your question. Wordlessly, she swats at your other thigh until you get her hint and rest your knee on the sofa. Lisa swipes her fingers along your still sensitive pussy to collect a bit of your slick to coat one end of the toy. 

“Can I put this inside you?” She asks only moving once you’ve nodded your head in consent.

The shorter end of the toy slips into your still pulsing while with ease. The rest of the toy sits snugly against your clit and protrudes upwards. The shape of it is vaguely phallic and realization clicks into place, bringing a giggle to your lips.

“It’s a strapless strapon!” Lisa exclaims, running her fingers along the pale purple tip, “Figured we may as well read it out now that you’re nice and wet.”

“Are you?”

“Hm?” She hums.

“Are you wet?”

Lisa pouts a bit as she hikes up the bottom of her skirt, “You always get me so worked up, my love,” she reassures.

The dark plum of her panties sports an obvious wet spot that Lisa strokes absentmindedly. Hooking her fingers around the fabric, she pulls her underwear aside to reveal her pussy to you. Her bush glistened and dripped with her arousal. You bit your lip at the sight, your hands reaching out to urge Lisa toward you.

Hiking her thighs over yours, Lisa settles comfortably into your lap. Dipping her hand between her legs, Lisa rubs a slow circle against her clit. Loose brown ringlets spill over her shoulder as she rests her cheek upon it, she softly moans. Digging your nails into the fat of her hips, you suppress your own moan, eyes growing lidded as you watch Lisa touch herself.

“Open wide for my baby,” she instructs as she prods your bottom lip with her middle and ring finger, “Mhm, just like that.”

Your tongue swirls around her digits to chase the fleeting taste of salt and skin. Spit leaks out from the corner of your mouth, dribbling down your chin as you sloppily suck on her fingers. Lisa preens at the sight, drinking it up with greedy eyes.

“So messy,” she laughs, nuzzling her nose to your cheek, “But so good for me.”

Lisa coats the silicon cock with your spit but still makes a show of rubbing the head in between her soaking folds. The ridged edge that is pressed against your clit makes you shiver as Lisa experimentally fiddles with the toy.

“Oh? Does that feel good?”

“Mhm,” you whimper, your eyes flitting up to meet hers.

Lisa peers down at you with heavily lidded eyes. She grins much like a cat who caught the cream and she seems oh so pleased with herself for being curious enough to buy this toy. Her smug expression is quickly washed away when you reach between your bodies to grab the base of the toy and nudge the rounded head against her hole.

“Why don’t you relax, baby,” she huffs, her lips catching between her teeth as she slowly sinks down onto your strap, “Let me ride you.”

You’re all too ready to agree with a quiet and compliant, “Okay,” slipping through your teeth when Lisa slowly rocks her hips against yours.

Her breasts jiggle and nearly spill out from the low neckline of her dress giving you an eyeful of her milky skin. Pressing a few sloppy, open-mouthed kisses to her collar you bring your hand to rest against the small of her back and press her flush against you. Lisa hums in content, pushing her hair aside and bearing her neck to you. A low throaty moan melts past her lips as you begin to graze your teeth against her pulse point, nipping at the sensitive skin between pecks.

Lisa groans against the shell of her ear, her lips gently brushing against your ear lobe, “You feel so good inside of me, darling,” she rasps, “You wanna suck on my tits, hm?”

You look up at her with eyes blown wide with lust, your head bobbing up and down before she’s even finished speaking. You loved the days when Lisa chose not to wear a bra for many reasons, most of them having to do with how easily accessible she became to you and right now it took everything in you not to shower her with thanks as she tugged her dress down to expose her breasts. Dragging your teeth and tongue along the slope of her neck, you lavished her chest with little bites that left her skin blushed pink.

Lisa is a vision unlike any other and you feel immensely lucky to be the only one privy to such a sight. Her kiss-bitten bottom lip is pressed between her teeth to keep her moans hushed lest she get too loud like she was when the two of you were hidden behind the closed doors of your shared apartment. Sweat is dabbled along her pinched brow and a few silky strands of her hair sticks to her forehead. You’d never tired of watching her expression grow debauched and wanton before your very eyes.

Cupping the bottom of her breast, your tongue lolls out and dribbles a bit of spit onto her puffy and soft nipple before your lips wrap around the bud to suckle on it. Lisa’s hips stutter for a moment and she laughs to herself before picking up the pace. Your eyes roll back into your head as the toy begins to rub against your throbbing clit.

“So good,” Lisa moans, a quick curse flying past her lips when the strap angles just right inside of her, “You gonna make me cum, sweetheart?”

Dipping her hand beneath the fabric of her crumpled-up dress, the pads of Lisa’s fingers find her clit.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be quick I know you’re still sensitive.”

She throws her head back, trying her best not to jostle you around too much as she rides you. Pressing your free hand against her lower back, you help to steady Lisa, she must appreciate it because the lilt of her voice becomes affectionate as she sighs out your name with a gooey sort of expression settling onto her features.

Running your teeth along her sensitive, hardened nipple, your eyes flicker upward to watch as Lisa’s mouth falls open. Her orgasm slowly washes over her, forcing a shudder to wrack through her body. Slumping against your shoulder, Lisa sighs softly, her hand coming to caress your shoulder.

“How was that for putting you to work?”

“If this is how you treat all your maids, well then I’ll be sure to apply for the position,” you laugh, releasing her tit with a loud pop, “Though, I must say I much prefer being your lover.”

© all content belongs to dearbraus. do not modify, repost, or redistribute.  

[dmercer91]

ebug's sister, dm91

ok, first post where blake is blake!! also, excuse the absolute dumpster fire that is my life, and is the reason that this post is one post and not like 47

last season! (2022-23) part one / part two / part three / part four / part five / part six / part seven / part eight / part nine / part ten / part eleven / part twelve

(2023-24)! part one /

blakefriarr_

liked by dawson1417, adamfantilli and 6,947 others

blakefriarr_: so many things have happened since i last popped up on all your timelines and made them immeasurably better!

this is episode one of season two of i-am-both-the sister-of-the-devils-home-emergency-backup-goaltender-and-also-happen-to-be dating-dawson-mercer-forward-for-the-devils series!

these pictures are in no particular order, because, i am moving into a new place with afore mentioned dawson mercer and have spent the last several weeks making it look like it's not the most depressing back alley murderous apartment any of you have ever laid your eyes on

and apparently, i have a ball ton of stuff!

regardless, here's what i've caught up on;

the entire nhl draft! though i have not acquired any new adoptees, it did come to my attention that the anaheim ducks as an organization did personally victimize me during the 2023 entry draft (they also took a BALLSY amount of time to re-sign bitch one and bitch two. what the literal fuck, dudes). also- if you are seeing this and you need help to flee, blink twice (not you adam) (you know who you are)

2, the entire preseason was also missed while i was one, curing myself from jetlag and the absolute dread of going back to uni and two, moving my egregious amount of shit with a spiteful level of independence. the devils won every preseason game! dawson scored that clusterfuck of a goal on slide two and we also got to see goalie bonks again! (i told you those pics weren't in order and i meant it)

three, (or four, i forgot what came first) quinneth played his first regular season game as captain of the canucks ad they kicked ass against the edmonton dudes. goncrats captain ;p

four (probably) rookie had both his first reg season nhl game AND his birth on the same day! he cried on camera for thousands of viewers and made me question kidnapping his brother and locking him in an abandoned building in ohio (who am i kidding i don't want to be in ohio). the blue jackets have since been doing blue jacket things (losing)

five (it's all blended together these days) the devs started their regular season and now i get to go to the arena and watch in peace as nico makes dumb faces, jack gets into petty scrums and goes to the box (apparently? that ones new.) and dawson does dawson things (be hot)

sixth and finally, assistant coach and captain quinn (he should probably drop a title for his mental health, me thinks) turned 24! i giggled profusely at an edit of him as tracksuit rob. good job on aging, kid 🎉

that's all, i think. (probably not, what do i know)

view 712 comments..

jj.friar31: remember when we were roomies??? siblings defying the odds?? i've been left out to dry. i'm MARINATING in my loneliness. you've basically shot me and left me out for dead, blakey.

→ blakefriarr_: this is a touch dramatic, that's MY thing

→ jj.friar31: if i agree to never steal your dramatics again will you come back

→ blakefriarr_: have u seen how pretty my boyfriend is?? no dude

→ jj.friar31: blake pls

adamfantilli: of every picture you could've used you just decided to screenshot me crying

→ blakefriarr_: hi im blake have we met??

→ adamfantilli: also, do not kidnap luca.

→ blakefriarr_: oh so you just don't want my love?? is that what this is??

→ luca.fantilli: do not kidnap me

→ blakefriarr_: BOOORRRINNNGGGGG

nicohischier: every day i wonder what it would be like if we didn't let the ebug's come into the room

→ blakefriarr_: do you want dawson to be lonely and bitchless

→ nicohischer: yeah kinda??

→ blakefriarr_: oh

jackhughes: why.

→ blakefriarr_ ehehehe your bucket doing weird things

_quinnhughes: ??????? why am i tracksuit rob????

→ blakefriarr_: who else would be tracksuit rob

→ _quinnhughes: nobody needs to be tracksuit rob, friar.

→ _blakefriarr_: WRONG! you do :)

_connorbedard: am i who i are???

→ blakefriarr_: no apparently you are timbaland

→ _connorbedard: oh. okay?

→ adamfantilli: @/_connorbedard you get used to it

→ _connorbedard: do i want to??

→ adamfantilli: eh. 50/50

dawson1417: oh how i've missed the chaos

→ blakefriarr_: fbejdbsjshdghshsb

→ dawson1417: sometimes it's almost like you say words

→ blakefriarr_: :p i love you

→ dawson1417: i love you too, my girl <3

tannercharlotte: this is my reality tv

→ blakefriarr_: i'll leave him for u say the word

→ dawson1417: HEY??

→ blakefriarr_: shhhh baby go sleep

→ tannercharlotte: don't leave him b he doesn't have to know

ryangraves27: she back

→ blakefriarr_: i back!!

nhlblackhawks: ??

→ njdevils: don't '??' her she's right

→ blakefriarr_: thank you (trade for charlie)

→ nyrangers: i can excuse hawks slander but i draw the line at trying to take our char

→ nhlblackhawks: you can excuse hawks slander?

→ jj.friar31: why do teams keep doing this you have ENOUGH leverage over me

trevorzegras: am i bitch one or bitch two

→ trevorzegras: actually yk what don't answer that i don't wanna know

→ blakefriarr_: too bad you're actually both jamie is an angel

view more comments..

[sunlaire]

discovered your maid au literally moments before i was about to go to bed and now i feel delirious and consumed. by what i can't say on a good christian website. jesus christ okay. what thoughts to fall asleep to. what thoughts indeed. (i'm going to be following this like a hawk. please tell me you've thought more about it also)

(@incesthemes)

OKAY I've been looking forward to answering this all day. Ahh welcome to the maid au, I'm crazy about it. Thank you for sending this ask, this au is constantly on my mind. not a single day goes by where I don't add to it, and it's snowballing out of control to be honest. As someone who really can't write that well, I'm struggling. But I can draw sort of, so

This is a draft for a comic I'm thinking about making. because I NEED to share what happened between Irving and Tozer. It's a lot

If you don't mind, I'm going to open the gate and empty my brain out about these two. So Tozer is hired and he has to share a room with Irving. It's a strange job. But it's not the worst thing he's done for a wage. (He's an ex-marine)

Unfortunately, him and Irving get off to a bad start. Irving avoids Tozer, shuts down any attempt at conversation and is generally pretty cold. (Because he's so embarrassed about being seen in the dress)

Tozer has to get an early start in the mornings, and it works out that he's up and dressed before Irving. Their room is small, two beds that are tucked into alcoves with some walking space between them. Irving is asleep, and it's the most relaxed Tozer ever sees the man. He looks peaceful, hands folded beneath his head. Tozer pulls on his boots, and grabs his rifle from the corner. He goes to leave but lingers, looking at the dress that's hung on the back of the door. Mr. Irving's uniform...

With it's ruffles and long ribbons that nearly touch the floor. When he started this job, sure it was strange seeing men in maid uniforms but he was mostly indifferent. Now, he finds that he likes the look of it. It's pretty. He likes the way it fits irving. He really should be getting to work rather than thinking these idle thoughts. He pushes past the dress and sets off.

Later, hodge finds him. Asks if he's seen Irving. "Not since I left him this morning." And hodge frowns.

"No one has seen that boy all day. Could you be a dear and check your room?" So he does.

And Irving is still sleeping. Which is super unusual for him. Tozer is shifting in place, trying to wake him. calling out his name gets no response. So he carefully shakes him by the shoulder. "Irving. You've slept in." Well, finally Irving is up, startled, wanting to know the time. He's throwing his blankets aside, asking for his uniform.

"oh um, here." Tozer grabs it from the door and hands it over. Irving looks fevered, his cheeks gone pink. taking the dress, he lays it out on his bed then begins to gather his night gown in his hands. And Tozer is just standing there like 👁️👁️

"could you please, um, turn around Mr. Tozer."

"oh! Yeah," he should have just left, but he wasn't thinking and now he feels the nightgown softly hit the back of his boot. He's heard from someone that Irving used to be a sailor. It's hard to believe. Tozer couldn't imagine him on a ship full of men, politely asking them all to turn around while he gets dressed. He almost seems afraid of other men. A shy kind of fellow. A moment later Irving makes a noise, saying something in frustration.

"Are you okay?"

"I can't seem to get the apron tied." Irving mumbles. Tozer glances over at him, sees him turned away, hands behind his back trying to turn those long tangled strands of fabric into a neat bow. He can't help the way his eyes trails down the skirts of the dress. Clear to the ruffled edge then back up to where Irving was struggling to straighten the ties.

"here. Let me." tozer steps up, slowly taking the ties from his hands. Irving lets him, going quiet. So he takes it as permission, and sets to work untangling them and neatly tying them.

He does not know how to make a bow.

He's trying to do that when Irving mumbles something that he doesn't quite catch. He leans in "what was that?"

"I feel light headed." Irving says, and then "I think I should ...sit down," but with the last word, it's as if all his strength left him and he was falling. Tozer managed to catch him around the middle before he went down.

"Irving? Hey," But he's completely out cold. So Tozer lifts him up and puts him back in bed. >:3 and he goes to the kitchen and grabs something for him to eat. 🥰 And he helps him through his illness. And by the end of it, he thinks Irving isn't so bad <33333

[anneapocalypse]

Writing Wrap-up and 2024 Goals

It's a weird year to be doing a wrap-up, because I did not post a whole lot this year and I'm not sure I even set any goals last January thanks to having covid and being sick and exhausted for weeks, which still kind of feels like it threw off my whole year even though that sounds dramatic. Whatever. I've moped enough about it being a bad year for writing; now, I want to look forward.

2023 Wrap-Up

In case you'd like to read the one fic I did post this year, it's "Before You Go", a Loghain/Maric fic for Dragon Age (3022 words, rated E), which I am still quite happy with! And though it's not writing, I also made a podfic of RosellaWrites' gorgeous fic "let them not make me a stone (and let them not spill me)" (and if you're not interested in podfic you should still go read Rosella's fic, seriously, it's great).

While November 2022 was the last time I made substantial progress on A Hero Sleeps in Gwaren (my Briala/F!Tabris longfic for Dragon Age), I did make a few attempts to chip away at the draft this year. I didn't keep any records of what progress I made, but lucky for me Scrivener has a writing history feature that can at least give me a ballpark, and... it says I added 17,326 words to the draft this year (all in the first half of the year), which, not gonna lie, seems unreal to me. The first half of this year is mud in my head, so the fact that I did in fact get some writing done is really encouraging.

Over the summer, FFXIV started to really consume me as I had finished ARR by that point and my investment in the story was growing, and I also started taking a more active leadership role in my tiny free company, and so for the back half of the year I've mostly been writing little snippets about my Warrior of Light Ariane and her adventures and relationships, some of which may become part of actual fics later. This totals out to about 19,500 words at the moment.

So I only posted about 3000 words, but in total I wrote almost 40K this year. Is that a fantastic year, no... but honestly, it's a lot better than what my brain has been telling me I've accomplished this year, which is nothing. :P So I'm glad that I sat down to actually find the numbers!

Onward and upward.

So what's next?

2024 Goals

Fandom:

Finish one longfic.

Write and post a one-shot.

Do one exchange.

Original:

Outline an original novel.

Write a poem.

Send out one piece.

Tentatively my immediate plans are to get started outlining and then writing my Ariane/Haurchefant fic. I'm on the fence about February. On the one hand, it would be great to come back to my Briala/F!Tabris longfic for Femslash February, but on the other hand there's a high probability I'm going to be playing Endwalker by that point and I have no hope of keeping my head in Dragon Age during that time, so it's probably best not to commit to it. Dragon Age fic might be best saved for after I've caught up on MSQ when there are (hopefully) a few months still left to wait for Dawntrail and I can take a little break to let it marinate while I work on something else. My enthusiasm for the Briala/Tabris fic has not waned despite the long hiatus, and just yesterday I was reading bits of the draft and getting excited again, so I do hope to finish that this year and get to share it with you.

The alternate candidate for February is either keep working on the Haurchefant fic or in the case of a miracle in which I actually finish it this month (hah!), move forward with the next one I have planned, an Urianger/Moenbryda. That's unlikely but we'll see. I know I still have things to learn about Urianger in Endwalker, which I'm very excited for.

As for what exchange(s) I might do this year, I'm not sure yet! I haven't seen any announcements yet that Chocolate Box is running this year. Black Emporium and FemslashEx are both strong candidates for me. We'll see where I am when those roll around, or maybe something else will catch my eye!

Edited to add: Oh, yeah, also at some point we're supposed to get that final season of Red vs. Blue. I have a few outstanding projects in RvB but the main one that really matters to me is Radio Silence, my Carolina lost years fic. I'd love to use the series' send-off as a kick in the pants to finally finish that one, whenever that happens. We'll see!

Finally, I am making a conscious effort to reclaim my writing time, which traditionally has been the morning between 9 and noon because that's when my mind is the sharpest, but over the past I basically let that slip entirely and be taken over by either housework or gaming, just writing on the fly when something came to me. I'm not morning gaming anymore unless it's for a good reason (timed event I need to catch, etc, which is rare, and finishing yesterday's roulettes is not a good enough reason because the queues are slower in the morning and it just ends up eating more time than it needs to, they happen every day, it's fine).

On to 2024. Looking forward to it.

[blacksuccubusboots]

For the writing meme

F, I, N, V ✨

omg cenn! 😭😭😭 I’m still gagged that you read my mess

F. What stories are you planning for the future?

I have a folder in my notes app dedicated to rough outlines and right now I have *maybe* 7 WIPs in there. One of them is is called 'BB's Delivery Service' which is a semicrack fic about Balor as a maid and — yeah I know, I know. Classic Maid gacha a did number on me.

Also Loiscneach!!!!!!!

YES I have Talvmillet WIPs, BUT those are gonna have to marinate for a while until I know what I want out of them. That dynamic is more involved than Vaynemillet which is always a combination of 1.) arguing 2.) fighting and 3.) fucking to me

I. What’s your favorite work you did this year? Why?

It would have to be Pleasure in the Glare. Believe it or not, I was initially disinterested in Vayne because G22 came on the heels of G21 especially considering how long the wait was between G20 -> G21. I took the finale personally 😭 I knew Vayne was no good from the jump so I spent my first play through of G22 + 23 wondering what the hell he wanted. Then I got to G24 and that was where I was pushed over into BeimHive territory. Finally realized the guy just wanted some ass then die; that earned my respect. IDC how many times I say this but Dissonance in the Void is Vaynemillet gospel. Writing about fighting and fucking is so much fun!

N. Anything you were planning to write that never got written?

I feel like anything I really wanna write will come out in its own time, but this is never gonna see the light of day.

V. Which story was the most viscerally pleasing to write? Tell us your narrative kinks. 

Okay right now it's a tie between Pleasure in the Glare and Sweet Honey Sin. I like porn with plot; I could never dish it out raw like that. I have an entire Twitter circles (RIP) thread dedicated to the making of Sweet Honey Sin. For my followers - if you're nosey and not weird I've moved to a private Twitter for quote-tweeting nasty mabi fanart and talking about whatever I'm currently working on + snippets. Anyone can DM if interested.

As for narrative kinks per se, the only one I can think of is that I will always mention or reference “honey” or “gold” at least once in a fic in relation to my millet or something she’s doing. One day I might talk about her in depth, but honestly, I’m not the type to sit down and say “oh Adah likes such and such and only does this and that”. I’m her PR manager, not her biographer, if that makes sense. I’m learning more about my own OC with every story 🌸

On a broader level, if you've been following me for all these years (sorry), then you might have seen my various 'The Signs As' posts for whatever hot new characters are around. Towards the end of 2022 when I started writing, I began thinking seriously about character sun signs and now that I have more free time for other hobbies, I've gotten *really* into drafting natal charts for whatever characters I'm writing about. It helps SO much with characterization. It gives me a framework for their personalities from which I can cook up whatever behavioral nuances I want without making them feel OOC to the reader.

Thank you for the ask!

[primatechnosynthpop]

Incredibly silly self-indulgent oneshot that I let marinate in my drafts for approximately one thousand years. Bonjour monsieur puppy woof woof

As if the whole falling down a well situation wasn't strange enough already, now there was a man with dog ears. A beautiful man, really, although Jemaine typically pretended not to notice such things. But he was in the middle of the woods with nobody else around, and the beautiful dog-eared man wasn't going to judge him because, if the arrow sticking out of his chest and pinning him to the tree was any indication, he was probably dead. That was a shame. Jemaine had been hoping he could find someone to ask for directions.

---

When he took a step closer, the beautiful probably-dead dog-man's ears twitched. Oh. So maybe he wasn't that dead after all. Fighting back a sudden thrumming sensation in his chest, Jemaine stepped up onto the roots that wound around the pinned figure and cleared his throat.

"Excuse me... sir? Do you know how I could get back to Wellington from here?"

"Mmn..." Now it was the dog-man's nose that twitched. The nose was less noticeable than the ears, but it was dotted with black, again like the face of a dog. Without opening his eyes, he murmured a name. "Coco? 'S that you?"

"Er, no, sorry."

"Why'd you go and shoot me with that arrow, Coco? I thought we had a good thing going on..."

"Well, as I just said, I'm not Coco. This conversation doesn't really seem to be going anywhere, so..."

He shuffled back a step, only to lose his footing on the roots and almost fall. Quick as day, a hand shot out and grabbed him by the wrist, catching his fall. He blinked, startled, up at the now fully awake dog-man before him. The dog-man returned the expression with equal shock.

"Oh, wow, you're not Coco at all," he said. "Funny--you smell just like her."

"Do I?" Jemaine asked skeptically. He couldn't imagine smelling that similar to a lady. It wasn't like he wore perfume, or... jewelry... or whatever else women did.

"Well, you mostly smell like her," the man pinned to the tree went on with a shrug. "Maybe a bit worse."

Jemaine's face scrunched in offense. "Hey."

"But if you smell like her, maybe you've got the same priestess powers. Maybe you could pull this arrow out and break the spell."

"Ah, yes, there's an idea," Jemaine mused, nodding. "If I do that, could you help me get back to Wellington?"

To his great disappointment, the dog-man pursed his lips and shrugged. "Dunno. I don't think I know where that is."

"You don't know where Wellington is?"

"Well, I dunno about the -ington part. But there's a well a little ways back that way." He angled his head in the direction Jemaine had come.

"Yes, I know about the well. I fell through it and ended up here. I'm looking for the Clemaine family shrine."

"Oh, a shrine. So you are a priestess like Coco, then--or a priest, I guess, since you're a man."

"No, I'm not either of those things. I'm a university student." He gestured to his uniform, now tattered thanks to his tumble through the well and subsequent tromp through the forest, as a visual aid.

"University student..." the dog-man echoed, sounding like he didn't know what Jemaine was talking about but was too polite to say as much. After a beat he brightened and extended a hand in greeting. "I'm Bret."

Jemaine's eyebrows raised a little at that--it was a rather ordinary name for a man with dog ears pinned to a tree in the middle of the forest. No last name? he wanted to ask but didn't. Instead he returned Bret's handshake and introduced himself in turn. But even while they were shaking hands, his eyes kept drifting back to those ears. Something tugged at his core, a stupid impulse that he tried desperately to ignore, but it was just so maddening...

"Are the ears real?"

"Yeah, they're real."

Jemaine licked his lips anxiously, hands twitching at his sides. "Can I... touch them?"

Bret recoiled, dog nose wrinkling. "No way. That would be gay."

"It wouldn't be gay," Jemaine argued. "It's not gay when you're petting your dog and you touch their ears."

"I'm not a dog, though," said Bret defensively, drawing himself up as much he could with the arrow in his chest holding him in place against the tree. "I'm a man!"

"You've got the ears of a dog."

"Well, I'm a half demon."

"Ah, yes, a half demon," Jemaine echoed, nodding. "That explains it."

That explained absolutely nothing. It made things far more confusing, actually. Was this how Bret felt when he brought up Wellington and university?

"Maybe if I just touch your ears," he pressed on without even knowing why he was so set on doing this, "And not any other part of you, that wouldn't be gay. I'd only be touching the dog bits and not the man bits."

"...Maybe," Bret relented. He leaned his head down, slightly floppy fuzzy brown ears exposed among his curls. "But be gentle with them."

"Of course."

Trying to ignore the way his heart sped up, Jemaine put his hands gently around the dog ears, fingers against the furry side and pad of the thumb against the soft pink middle. He rubbed lightly at them, making them sort of twitch up and down. A little noise escaped from Bret. It sounded suspiciously like a whimper, which was itself quite doglike, really. Jemaine pulled back, afraid he'd been too rough and equally worried that the whimper had another meaning behind it that he didn't want to unpack.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

Bret turned his head away as far as he could, which wasn't very much with all the giant roots winding around and boxing him in. "...Don't worry about it. Just hurry up and get me down."

Nodding, Jemaine hesitantly closed his hand around the shaft of the arrow. It had clearly been weathered with age, suggesting that Bret had been up there for a while despite still being perfectly healthy. A bright purple light flared up when he touched it. Jemaine flinched at the glare and threw his other arm up over his face to shield himself. He had no idea how he was supposed to pull an arrow out of someone safely, especially not without being able to see what he was doing, and he had just opened his mouth to voice that complaint when the arrow crumbled. The glow faded, and his hand closed around empty air.

"What, is that it?" he asked incredulously.

Bret nodded, an eager smile creeping onto his face. Jemaine hadn't noticed before, but his complexion had been a little washed-out; now the colour crept back into his cheeks and a renewed energy seemed to roll off him in waves. The roots that were holding him in place began to rapidly rot.

"Yeah, that's it. Thanks, man."

"That wasn't hard at all," Jemaine pointed out as he gingerly made his way down the quickly crumbling roots, tripping over himself and catching himself against the tree in the process. "You said only someone with magic powers could do it. That didn't take magic powers. You could've gotten yourself down ages ago."

Bret pursed his lips and shook his head. "No, I couldn't. I was asleep until you showed up. And only someone with the same powers as Coco could get one of her arrows out."

"Well, I don't have any magical powers," Jemaine said, deliberately ignoring what had happened with that centipede monster in the well a few minutes earlier to get him to this forest in the first place. "So maybe you just should have tried harder."

By this point all the roots had rotted away to dust like the arrow before them. Bret hopped to the ground, briefly landing on all fours before springing back up to a standing position, and shook himself out. Jemaine took a couple steps back to avoid being hit with residue, but there wasn't any. After doing a couple stretches and flexing a set of claw-tipped fingers, Bret sniffed at the air a little more and made a little "hm" noise.

"No, you've definitely got magic," he said. "I smell it on you."

"Do I?" Jemaine asked cautiously. "...How's it smell?"

"Nice, I guess. Sort of invigorating."

A bit of heat crept into Jemaine's cheeks at that. "I thought you said you didn't like my smell."

"No, it's not bad at all. It's just, y'know, Coco is pretty hard to beat..."

"Oh yeah? What's she smell like?"

"Herbs, mostly. And magic. A lot like you."

"I don't smell like herbs."

"Not yet, but if you're training to become a priest..."

"I told you I'm not a priest. Or training to become one."

Almost without realizing, the two had begun to walk along in tandem as they bantered, away from the tree and back towards the old well Jemaine had climbed out of mere minutes before. Though they didn't realize it yet (at least Bret didn't; Jemaine suspected but didn't want to admit it) this day would change the whole course of their lives going forward. In fact, it would change their whole worlds.

[hypaalicious]

3,6,& 9 if you please~ it's so good seeing you on my dash 💖

Yeah I’m lame and screenshot the questions cause I end up forgetting what I’m even talking about mid-type 😂

… also, I read “3, 6, 9” and immediately followed it up with “damn you fine, hoping she can sock it to me one more time, GET LOWWWW GET LOW GET LOWWW”

Sorry okay let me get back on track

I answered 3 in a previous ask, so

#6 - hardest part is probably just starting to write, LMAO! There’s nothing like the intimidation of facing a blank document and a flashing cursor waiting for you to put something down, frfr. I end up overthinking the story before I’ve even written it. 😩 Once I get rolling, it’s a lot easier, even though I have mini hurdles along the way like trying to figure out the BEST word to use in a sentence or how to transition scenes.

#9 - writing process??? WHAT’S THAT

Okay well I can now say it’s totally different between fics vs novels/script writing

For fics, it’s totally “get obsessed with an idea, marinate on it in your mind for days, fly off the seat of your pants while writing it”. What I plan is often not entirely how the fics go, but hey, I get to be surprised by the outcome just as much as the readers are 😂

For novels and professional writing, I learned that outlines are mandatory, so I start with that. Pacing must fit within thresholds and if you just ramble you end up with a lot that needs to be trimmed or re-worked, and that sucks. I basically had to re-write my manuscript from scratch after the first draft got (lovingly) critiqued by beta readers because fic writing ain’t novel writing, LOL. Also, to help get my writing going, I actually RP’d a third of it with a good friend to get a feel for how I wanted it to go. This prevented me from falling into a writer’s block cause I had someone else basically prompting me to write my story bits at a time. The final product is very different from what was RP’d, but that base really helped me get the rest of it done.

I also wrote scenes out of order instead of stressing over writing “boring” parts to catch up to the stuff I really wanted to write. Never did that before, but once again, it was to stave off writer’s block.

For game writing scripts… lord, that was such an adjustment 😩 Yes, outlining is mandatory! Believe it or not, my weakest link is writing dialogue. I depend on narrative descriptions to fill space, but in a game where everything is dialogue driven it’s rough. I had to picture my characters talking way more than I’ve ever even pictured actual people talking, LOL! My introvert status is mad showing, I know 😂 But dude, you don’t realize how much dialogue is involved in even the most mundane things until you’re like “oh, I can’t infer their nervousness through descriptive body language or tense atmosphere, I have to figure out how to make them say they’re nervous without actually having them SAY straight up they’re nervous and not having it feel like scenes move clunkily.” I’m so damn verbose that I didn’t think I could do it, fam. 🥲

But now I’m in 100% script writing mode and just need to finish the game so I can throw myself back into long-form writing to get my groove back 😂

[bunsofhoney]

1, 4, 8, 10, 11, 20, 40, 43,

1. do you know how you want the story to end when you start, or are you just stumbling through the figurative wilderness hoping to find a road? How do you know the ending until you've written it? J/k. I usually don't know the ending, unless it's like a 5-and-1. Often the plot falls into place as I'm writing. I almost never start posting chapters until I've at least worked out the whole plot, and often I have to have a full written draft before I want to start posting. I'm always anxious that I'll want to go back and add a plot point after posting if I don't know how it ends yet.

4. what is the plot bunny you’ve been carrying for the longest? optional bonus question: do you ever wonder why you haven’t written it yet and experience deep existential dread? Not counting my WIP purgatory folder, the one that sticks in my craw is actually an OC. An astronaut in the distant future, sort of a space-long haul trucker (like the ice haulers in The Expanse) comes across a Klyntar-like symbiote who saves her life after a near-fatal crash. (The Expanse really hit me with the emptiness and terror of space and I've wanted to write something evoking that). I don't really have an ending for it, so see #1. And yes, writing an OC that I'm actually invested in is soaked in layers of existential dread.

8. what’s your relationship with constructive criticism and feedback like? do you seek it out? how well do you take it? I write best in collaboration, I think. It's true of my nonfiction writing as well (academic and nonprofit writing, I've also taught writing-intensive college courses which are heavy on collaboration and formal feedback). So yeah I do seek out criticism. I love it when a beta reader understands my goals with the work and helps me improve my writing to get there. That said, it's still difficult to take criticism and sometimes I have to let feedback marinate a while before I can integrate it into the work because it's anxiety-provoking.

10. at what point in the process do you come up with titles, and how easy or hard is that for you? Pretty early I guess? It's usually "trope fic" in my head until some phrase from the writing sticks out enough to be the title. I don't feel like I'm great with titles. I like them short and sweet, which seems bland sometimes compared to what some people come up with.

11. what’s something neat you’ve learned while doing research for something you were writing? also, how much do you worry about doing research in general? Oh jeez. I love researching things. I often worry about little details of cannon, but then I'll change big details, lol. Snake Oil was the most fun, there are sentences in that fic that represent 5 different Wikipedia rabbit holes. I really enjoyed writing Wade's backstory, which included Quebecoise, real New Orleans gang families, voodoo rituals, and WWI trivia. I love New Orleans so getting to write something set there was a joy.

20. what is your favorite trope to write? Love me some hurt/comfort, feral or primal play, (biting and oral fixation, yum. Wait that's a kink not a trope...) and of course gooey domestic fluff, especially with food porn.

40. best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten. I'm not sure if it was the best but it's on my mind. A beta reader told me she wasn't interested in descriptions like "30 feet", "4 am" etc...the "route talk" of a story. She said it's a waste of words, and that stuck with me, so I try to find a more interesting way to label distance, time, etc.

43. how did writing change you? Made me a better writer, lol. Also writing kink has made me better able to express my interests irl. And it's given me an outlet to obsess over at 3 am, instead of work. I've made real friends through fanfic writing, which is hard to do as an adult.

[kinetic-elaboration]

For your fic writer asks: 47) How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Oh, anon, thank you for sending this ask and I'm sorry it's sat unanswered for so many days. I've been having a time.

To answer the question:

It varies but usually 1-2 times, I'd say. I always do some sort of editing/revising, even on a deadline. If I don't have a lot of time, I'll read through once for embarrassing errors, outright mistakes, awkward phrasing and, because it's me, really long sentences that I can break up. If I have more time, I might do more than one pass through like that.

I also just like re-reading my work so I often go back while the fic is still a work in progress and make little changes here and there.

I don't usually go back and make huge changes... Most of the time, when I write something like a scene, I just have an instinctive sense of if it's good or not, usable or not. If not, I just rewrite. If it's basically fine, I make the sort of edits described above. The majority of the time, a completed scene is basically fine because I don't usually get very far if the writing/drafting process just isn't clicking for me.

Sometimes I have to re-write because I want to change, not the style, but literally what's happening. That's pretty rare too but it's happened with a long term fic I'm working on (my southern gothic AU specifically). Sometimes I want to re-write a certain section but not a whole scene from scratch.

I've also been trying out, during this semi-official posting hiatus, letting finish fics marinate for a while before I post. I have a pretty long fic (I think like 20k but I'm not checking) that's totally done in draft form but I'm letting it sit a while longer before I re-read and edit. I think getting distance might help the process.

So, yeah, tl;dr: I do at least 1 complete pass through. Sometimes it's more than that, sometimes I work more on certain sections, and I do a of tweaking here and there. It's mostly style stuff because if a section needs heavy editing, I'll just re-write it.

Thanks again for the ask, I love talking writing stuff!

Ask me a question from this list!

[13-reasons-ideas]

requests are still open yay! MontyxOc, Oc dated Monty a year ago.. things didn’t quite work out but her & Monty maintained a close friendship some say a little too close for ex’s. She stared dating (any one of the guys) but Monty continued to flirt with her she wasn’t stopping him either, She feels bad & tells Monty to stop flirting & trying to get with her... He doesn’t she starts to get fed up and on a class trip they argue over it.. the argument however ends much differently (smut)

A/N: This story contains SMUT. DNI if under 18. 18+ only. This is a long one you guys. Definitely bring a snack and a cup of tea to read it. I’m sorry if the spacing is weird. I can’t to hear what you have to say about it! Feedback is appreciated and much love as always. - Em

Friends Don’t 

I met Monty in the park. Things had been different between us recently. “Hey.”

“Hey.” He turned in my direction. I sat on a picnic table and watched him for a few minutes. He seemed like he wanted to say something but didn’t know how.

“What’s going on in that hot head of yours?”

“I don’t know. I don’t… I don’t want to mess everything up.”

“Well how will you know if you do, if you don’t take the chance?” I had a feeling I knew what was coming.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for this Reagan.” Even though I had a feeling, it still felt like a punch in the gut to hear him say it.

“For what?”

“Things to get serious.”

“Who said anything about serious? We are sixteen.”

“I don’t know. Do you want to pretend that I’m ready to date someone? That doesn’t seem very fair to you.”

I shrugged. He has a point. He’s not exactly in a great place right now. “I guess not.” Even though I didn’t want to, I felt tears starting to well up and the familiar prickle in my nose. I blinked a few times because I knew he was right. It just sucked to hear.

“I don’t want to not have you around though.”

“I know. I don’t want to not have you around either. You know me better than anyone. Best friends?”

“Best friends.”

“And if you ever need anything, I’m there. No matter what.”

“Day or night.”

“Always.”

ONE YEAR LATER

Monty and I stayed close. We kept our promise to be best friends. After all, we knew each other better than anyone. We hung out after school and got coffee. He came over and we watched movies. It was almost like we didn’t break up. Almost. For a while after our breakup things were awkward. We hadn’t really figured out where our boundaries were. After some time, we got comfortable again. Some people would say we were a little too close. It didn’t really matter that much to us if we still flirted or finished each other’s sentences.

It didn’t matter, at least until I started spending time with a certain other jock. Zach Dempsey had caught my eye before senior year but there was something about him that was different that September. He was still kind of cruel, but he was trying. He meant well. He just didn’t always know how to go about things in the best way. I knew what being forced to spend extended time with Bryce walker could do to a person. Zach and I had a few classes together over the years. Our friendship started like a lot of friendships did in school. You got stuck sitting next to someone and so you had to decide if you wanted to ignore them for the rest of the semester, or if you wanted to make your semester not suck and play nice.

We decided on the latter that first day of world history. He was late to class and the only empty seat was next to mine. I had spent time around him when Montgomery and I were dating so we were able to at least talk to each other. Our interactions consisted mostly of homework and school stuff for about a month or so. Then, slowly, we started talking about our interests and other things on our way to lunch. On one such walk to lunch, he told me about his dream of becoming a marine biologist.

“Seriously?” I asked him.

“Yeah. It’s cool. Why?”

“I don’t know. I just guess I pegged you as a guy who would want to do the athlete thing and get a business degree in case you didn’t get drafted.”

“Nah. That… that isn’t really in the cards for me.” I nodded.

“I want to go into social work.”

“No way, really?”

“Yeah.” I didn’t elaborate on why I wanted to. That was not my story to share.

“Zachy!” Scott called across the room when we got to the cafeteria.

“I- I should probably get going.” He stammered.

“Yeah. My friends are waiting.” I waved over at Jess and Alex. Zach started to walk away but turned around again.

“Did you want to get a coffee or see a movie sometime?”

“Like, together?”

“I mean, yeah.” He shrugged, trying to play it cool.

“I think I’d like that. Oh, and can you tell Montgomery and Bryce Cheerios is not lunch?” I laughed.

“But they are.”

“I guess we can discuss it over coffee.” I smiled.

“Wednesday after school?”

“Sure.”

I sat at a table with my friends. “So. I’m going on a date.” Jess and Alex looked at me with wide eyes.

“Shit. No way.” Jess smiled.

“Yeah. Zach Dempsey.” I explained, answering their unspoken question.

“Zach is nice.” Alex added.

“And he’s like… really good looking.”

“I know, right?”

“Tall.”

“Very tall.”

“Doesn’t have an anger problem.” Jess muttered under her breath. My smile faltered. I looked up and Monty’s eyes were on me. My phone vibrated. Cheerios is lunch pretty girl. I rolled my eyes. Zach said he has a date. Wouldn’t happen to be a certain girl in his world history class, would it?

I’ll give you details after. And why do you care?

On Wednesday I got a ride with Justin and Clay to school. My car was in the shop for maintenance and my house was on the way from theirs. After school, Zach drove me to Monet’s. I got to ride shotgun in the Audi. The wind feels different. Maybe it’s because this car costs more than my education will. He was a safe driver, I noticed. Soon, we had parked outside the cozy little café. We didn’t hold hands on the way inside.

Inside, I ordered a hot chocolate, and he got a cup of tea. “You like pomegranate?” I asked when we sat down.

“Yeah. It’s tart.”

“It’s pretty good. One of my favourite tea flavours.” We made small talk for a while. I wasn’t sure when the last time he had been on a date was. I hadn’t been on a real date since Monty and I broke up last year.

“Your opinion on Cheerios is wrong.”

“Wrong?”

“Yeah. It’s lunch food. Or breakfast food. Hell, even dinner food.” I shook my head.

“I will never understand boys.” He laughed and picked up his spoon. “What are you doing?”

“Just watch.” He breathed on the spoon and tried to balance it on his nose. I giggled and it stuck for maybe three seconds before falling to the table. I burst out laughing.

“Can I try?” I picked up my own spoon.

“Go for it.”

“Okay, okay how do I do this?”

Zach reached over and took the spoon, holding it in front of my mouth. “Breath on it.” I did. “Now before it dries, take it, and place it on the end of your nose.” I did as he said. It fell instantly.

“Try again?” He waved. I tried again and it fell, yet again. “One more. I think I know the spot now.”

“Go on.” This time, I was able to get it to balance for four seconds. “Does this make me champion?”

“Sure. Until we have rematch.”

“A rematch you say?”

“Yes.”

“I look forward to it. Mostly so I can win again.” I smirked slightly. We spent the next couple of hours just talking to each other about stuff. Mrs. Dempsey called him home around five.

“Yeah Mom. I’m just out with the guys going over some plays. I’ll be home soon.”

“I take it I’m getting my refill to go?”

“Yeah. It seems that way. I’ll drive you home.”

We went on like that for the next few weeks. We would meet for coffee or meet up to see a movie. Go for walks in the park or by the docks. It was nice. Different than what Montgomery and I had, but it was a welcome change. We went public at school before we decided to tell our parents. My parents weren’t exactly ecstatic about me dating in my senior year and I knew how his mom felt about girls in his life. I was still talking to Monty. All the while, we had kept up the flirty banter we had started a few weeks after our breakup. Zach didn’t seem to mind much. “Good morning Beautiful.” He said as he walked over to my locker that morning.

“Hey 85.” I smiled brightly at him.

“You look very cute.”

“Why thank you kind gentleman.” I grabbed my bag off the floor and shoved my geometry book in it. Zach threw his arm around my shoulders as he walked me to class. I rested my head against him and we chatted about our night.

“So, you guys are public now.” Monty said, walking up to us with Charlie in tow.

“That’s really cute.” Charlie said.

“Yes.” I smiled. I felt Monty’s eyes traveling my body and I couldn’t help the blush that crept up my neck.

“Yeah.” Zach said.

“That’s great.” Monty replied. When we walked away, he called out, “I’ll see you around Reagan.”

I turned and called back to him, “yes you will.”

In the following few days, Monty kept up with the flirting. I didn’t stop it. I found it kind of amusing. “Going to harp on my lunch choices again Rea?”

“No. You’re an adult. I trust you to make proper choices.”

“Now, Reagan. You should know I’ve never been good with proper.” I rolled my eyes. Oh, I know.

“Seems to have done you pretty well so far. How’s… uh… collarbone tattoo?”

“Katie?”

“Sure.” He merely shrugged.

“How’s Zachy?”

“Zach is good.” Zach said, sitting down at the table. I swatted Monty’s hand away when he reached for a cookie.

“And you should know by now to not touch my food Montgomery.”

“Oh. She full named you. What’s it like to be called out by your ex like that, man?” Bryce asked.

“You don’t get a cookie either Bryce.”

“Reagan.” He held his hand up to his chest. “You wound me.”

“That’s sad for you.” I shrugged. Zach turned to me and shot me a megawatt smile.

“Do I get a cookie?” I thought for a moment.

“You can get half a cookie.”

“It’s half more than I had before.”

“I’m his best friend. Can I have the other half?” Justin asked when he sat down.

“No. My cookies.”

“I’ll trade you my Milky Way for that half.”

“No.” I laughed. “You’re sure you’re okay to come to my place later?” I asked Zach.

“Yeah. It’s just your parents. Parents like me.”

“Did he just say ‘just your parents’?” Monty looked at me with wide eyes. I shrugged. “Reagan.”

“Monty.”

“Your dad threatened to shoot me.”

“My parents never really liked you though.”

“Gee, I wonder what gave you that impression?”

“What would have?” Charlie asked.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe when her dad threatened to shoot me.”

“Parents don’t like you. They’ll love me.” Zach beamed.

“They don’t like you because you ruined their daughter.” Bryce laughed. Again, I shrugged. Can’t really argue with him there. Monty merely smirked, proudly. Ugh men.

“Anyway. You’re sure?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. And can you remind me again why we sit here?”

“You get to see me.” Monty chuckled.

“No. No I don’t think that’s why.”

“Hurtful.”

**

In the few months after Zach and I started dating, his mom had come around to the idea of me being in his life. I spent time at his house, mostly working on homework or helping May with hers. It was tense at first but she came around eventually. Once she realized I only wanted what was best for her son. My parents were getting more used to the idea of me dating again. They saw how we interacted and seemed to approve more than they did with Monty. I had a sneaking suspicion that it had something to do with the fact that I wasn’t emptying the first aid kit my mom kept stocked every month or so.

Monty and I were still close. He had recently started seeing a girl named Kyla. I wasn’t sure how serious it was but figured it could be good for him. It didn’t stop him from flirting with me though.

“Good morning gorgeous.”

“Good morning Montgomery. Good night?” I laughed.

“Of course.”

“How was your date with Kyla?” I asked.

“It was good. She cooked for me.”

“That’s nice. Was it good?” Charlie asked, adjusting his bag on his shoulder.

“I mean, sure. Some kind of spinach something or other?”

“You hate spinach.” I said.

“Yes. And you hate tha-.” Monty started. I saw Zach walking towards us.

“Shhhh.” I cut him off. “Hey babe.”

“Hey beautiful.” Zach pulled me into a hug and placed a kiss on my head. “How was dinner at Alex’s last night?”

“It was good. His mom let me bring contraband in the house.”

“Contraband?” Bryce asked.

“He’s not allowed to have junk food.” Charlie explained.

“Something about healthy body healthy mind or something.”

“She’s not wrong Rea.” Zach said.

“I know but still. Let the kid have a candy bar once in a while. It won’t hurt him.”

“He prefers sour patch kids.”

“I know.” The bell rang and interrupted us. I sighed heavily and took Zach’s hand. He walked me to math and kissed me on the cheek as he left. I smiled brightly at his retreating form.

Monty texted me in math. As I was saying, you hate that you and Zach haven’t fucked yet. Have you even gotten to second base yet?

None of your god damn business.

I’ll take that as a no. Don’t worry. It’ll happen eventually. I could get Charlie to get Alex to talk to him. Or you could let me talk to him.

No!

What? You don’t want me to tell him all your dirty little secrets?

I swear to God, De la Cruz. I will wring your neck in your sleep.

You’d be doing my dad a favour. You’d at least get past the front door.

I’d wring his first. Now stop texting me and learn some shit.

Fine.

Zach sat with Alex, Jess, and I at lunch. Kyla was sitting with Monty. I got the impression that she didn’t really like me all that much. In order to avoid a catfight-as much as I think the boys would like to see it- I found it best not to sit with them when she was around. Plus, it gave me a bit of a break from all the sports talk I had to pretend to care about. I shared my granola with Jess. Alex ‘stole’ my gummy bears. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I had the other bag in history. Zach kept my little secret. I felt him watching me out of the corner of his eye. He was talking to Alex about some video game. Jess and I rolled our eyes. “Boys.” We said in unison.

That weekend, Zach and I went for a walk along the docks. It was a beautiful day outside. We walked hand in hand just talking. When we felt like taking a break, we sat down on a bench overlooking the water and watched the waves. He put his arm around me and pulled me into his side. He was whispering sweet nothings in my ear. “Part of me wishes it was cold out, so I could offer you my sweater.”

“Me too.” I smiled.

“You look adorable in them.”

I giggled and hid my face in his shoulder. “I do not.”

“You do though.”

“Okay.” I blushed. He grinned at me as I peeked up at him.

We spent another hour walking and enjoying our time together. When it started to get dark, Zach walked me back to his car. He held the door open for me and kissed me before closing it. He is so sweet. The radio was playing softly. We sat in content silence for most of the drive. The purr of the engine lulled me into a peaceful sleep. “Reagan.” He whispered. I didn’t want to wake up. “Reagan. Baby, wake up for a second please.”

“Hmm?” My eyes stayed closed

“I just wanted to know if you want anything from Starbucks.”

“Sleeping.”

“You can stay in the car and sleep if you want.”

“Kay.”

“I’ll get you something.” He whispered and kissed my temple before getting out and locking the car. When I woke up, there was a cup of tea in the cup holder for me. So thoughtful.

**

I was in the middle of getting ready for a date with Zach when someone rang my doorbell. Running to answer it, my eyes widened when I saw Monty. His cheek was already starting to bruise and his knuckles were bloody. “Hey.”

“Uh. Hey there friend.” Blood was dripping onto my porch. “Just a sec.” I held up a finger and ran to grab a towel. He wrapped it around his hand before stepping inside. Thankfully there won’t be blood on the floor now. He stood in the entryway. “How’s the other guy?” I asked as I pulled out my phone to text Zach. Monty didn’t answer.

I’m so sorry. I have to cancel tonight. I think I’m coming down with a cold. I want to try to nip it in the bud and sleep it off.  

That’s okay. Do you want me to come over? I can bring you soup.

No, thanks though Zach. I’m just going to go get ready for bed and sleep so I can be better by Monday.

Okay. I’m just a text or call away if you need anything. <3

Thank you. <3

Now that my plans with Zach were taken care of, I was able to focus on the boy at my front door. “You know you don’t have to just stand there. You’ve been here before since we broke up.”

“I know. I just wanted to give you some space while you dealt with whatever plans you and Zach had.” He walked into the house further before adding, “which you didn’t have to do.”

“It’s not a big deal. I told you I would be here for you, whatever you need. Do you want some ice for your hand?” I dug around in the freezer for the tray. He tried to protest but I saw the thinly veiled wince when he flexed it. Sighing, I pulled out the freezer bags and filled one with ice. Monty accepted it begrudgingly.

“I didn’t need ice Reagan.”

“And I don’t need five million dollars Montgomery. If you don’t want it though, I’ll gladly take it back. I’m sure Kerba would love to hear about whatever bullshit reason you give for your hand being fucked again is.” He shut up and kept the ice.

“Think he would believe me if I said it was an exercise accident?”

“No.” I stated, shaking my head. Monty moved into the living room, settling in on the couch. Grabbing the remote with his good hand, he started scrolling through channels.

“You know if you hit the guide button, you can just pick a channel.”

“Yeah, but then you don’t complain about it and I can’t irritate you.”

“And I wasn’t done.” He didn’t respond, so I went into the closet for my mom’s first aid kit. She kept it stocked at all times. It was hard explaining why it was so depleted so frequently when Monty and I were together and even harder to explain why it was full after we broke up.

Walking over to the couch, I sat down and opened the kit. I grabbed some gauze and took his hand in mine. There was too much blood, so I had to go get a cloth. His lip curled when the wet cloth touched his cut knuckles. My brow rose but I didn’t say anything. Monty grimaced as I wrapped his hand. “Is your cheek okay?”

“It’s fine.”

“Okay. Have you eaten?”

“Yeah. You don’t need to feed me too Reagan.”

“Okay.” I let him continue flipping channels, knowing when to not push him. He never was very nice when I was patching him up. He finally settled on some old black and white film. Neither of us watched it. We just spent the night sitting in silence. It gave me plenty of time to think about the fact that I had lied straight through my teeth to my very nice, charming boyfriend.

A couple of weeks after I had patched Monty up, I noticed he wasn’t at school. I was walking to my locker with Alex that morning. Scott was talking to Charlie about something when we passed. “I don’t know where he is, man.”

“But we have a huge government midterm today.”

“It’s Monty. He probably just overslept or decided to cut first period.” I stopped walking unconsciously. Then where is he?

“You’re probably right.” Charlie said, as he adjusted his bag. He bumped into me when he passed. “Sorry Reagan. Guess I didn’t see you there.”

“Huh? No worries Charlie.” I smiled as he took Alex’s hand and nodded to them when they left me in the hall.

“He isn’t at school yet.” Scott said, behind me.

“Okay. I don’t know why you think I care but whatever.”

Scott looked at me seriously. “You care. Might want to look like you care less though. His replacement is coming this way.” I didn’t respond.

By lunch, I had started to worry. Charlie was right. We had a government midterm today. Monty couldn’t miss it. I scanned the cafeteria. There was no sign of him anywhere. He wasn’t in math this morning either. I couldn’t stop myself from texting him. I know you aren’t this self-destructive. Get your ass to school.

“Hey baby. Who’re you texting?”

“Just Bryce. I loaned him some of my government notes in first so he could cram. I just need them back.” Zach took my hand and we walked to the jocks table. Still no sign of Monty. I didn’t sit down. “Hey Bryce, did you get my text?”

“Uh. No?”

“About my government notes that you borrowed?”

“What-?” I gave him a look. “Oh. Yeah, I put them in my locker. Meant to bring them to lunch but it slipped my mind.”

“Can we go get them? I wanted to read over them during lunch.”

“Sure?”

“Great.” I nodded towards the door. He stood and followed me out.

“So, what the hell was that?”

“Did Monty stay at your place last night?”

“No. It’s probably nothing. You know how he is. Disappears sometimes.” We stopped walking and stepped into an empty hall.

“Yeah. It’s just that he knows this is important. I worry is all. Unlike you, he actually needs to get a scholarship.”

“I need to too Reagan.”

“You don’t. But go ahead and think that if it helps you sleep.” I shook my head and pulled my history notes out of my bag. “We’ve been gone a while. Don’t want anyone getting suspicious.” I texted Monty again while we walked in silence back to the cafeteria. If you aren’t in government I will drive to your house and kick your unfairly shapely ass. You better have a damn good excuse for not being here.

When I got to government for fifth period, I sighed in relief. Monty was sitting in his seat next to mine. “Nice of you to finally show up.” I grumbled as I sat down.

“I was busy.”

“It’s a Wednesday during school. During midterm week no less. What was so important?”

“Kyla got a new piercing a few weeks ago.” He smirked.

“You’re disgusting.”

“What? Have you and Zach still not?” My silence spoke volumes. He snorted. “No wonder you’ve been so bitchy lately. Want me to talk to him? Explain that you have needs?”

“No. I want you to not skip school to fuck your,” I paused, “Kyla. Because you aren’t a dumbass.” Even though I was pissed at him, I still waited for him until he had finished his test. We stopped at his locker so he could drop off his books.

Zach was waiting for me at my locker. We had rescheduled our movie date to today under the guise of making sure my cold was for sure gone and until midterms were complete. “Hey Zachy.” I hugged him and kissed his chest.

“Hey beautiful. How was your midterm?”

“Not bad. I think I did okay.”

“That’s good. How was it actually Monty?”

“Could have been worse. No one cried, which kind of sucks.”

“Good to know.” I put my stuff in my locker, failing miserably at the organization I had at the beginning of the year.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Monty. At eight. When you’re supposed to be at school.”

“Okay. We can go with that. You kids have fun now.” I shook my head and rolled my eyes. A blush had started to creep up my neck though. Maybe tonight.

When we got to my place, I left Zach downstairs to go change. I threw on underwear that matched my bra. Just in case. I settled on a pair of yoga pants that framed my ass well and threw on a low-cut comfortable tank top. Back downstairs, Zach was taking a bag of popcorn out of the microwave. I felt his eyes go straight to my butt as he heard me come down. I smirked slightly. I hugged him tightly from behind at the counter. “You’re cute.”

“So are you.”

“I’m not cute.”

“You are. My giant teddy bear you. Oh, and there’s a box of Mike & Ike’s in the pantry for you.”

“Thanks.” He grinned.

We scrolled through Netflix for a few minutes. Nothing looked really interesting until we scrolled past Beautiful Creatures. It’s good to make out to. And I like it. Settling in for the night, I rest my head on his lap. I sighed happily as Zach stroked my hair. It was so nice to just have a quiet night in with him. He adjusted his position slightly a while into the movie and I sat up to change positions as well. Falling asleep was not in the plans for this evening. He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer against his chest. Leaning back, I rested my head on his shoulder. I placed a few soft kisses on his neck and jaw.

Zach’s breathing picked up when my lips ghosted over a spot just under his chin. There it is. I smiled against it and kissed it again. He sighed and I pulled away to look at him. His pupils were slightly dilated. I leaned in to kiss him. He leaned in and our lips touched. It was soft and gentle at first, but quickly became deeper and more intense. This wasn’t the first time we made out at all. But this time felt different. More meaningful. Maybe it was the right choice to change my underwear. His tongue ran along my bottom lip, requesting entrance. I was more than happy to accommodate it. His hand made its way around to rest against the back of my neck. My body shifted into a kneeling position on the soft couch, so I had a better angle. One of my hands rested on his chest. The other wound its way around the back of his neck to play with the soft hairs at the top of it. So soft.

Our tongues playfully fought for dominance. Neither of us seemed too keen on winning. We were just enjoying the moment. The movie was still playing in the background, though neither of us cared. My hand traveled down his muscular body as our making out intensified. I played with the hem of his shirt. I wasn’t wanting to take it off. But I also wasn’t not wanting to take it off. My boyfriend has a very nice body. Zach took control and began leaning forward. He continued until my back hit the cushions. After some readjusting, I was laying comfortably with Zach’s large frame above me. I smirked slightly when I felt his pants beginning to tent. He only pulled away long enough to sit up and pull his shirt over his head. Ugh that is the hottest thing any man can do. The blue shirt dropped to the living room floor unceremoniously.

He kissed me once more before moving on to my neck. The initial kisses were light and teasing. He was still trying to draw a map of where all the sensitive spots were. I gasped when he brushed over my pulse point. Zach smiled softly against it. The kisses turned much less light and teasing after that. It was both sides under attack now. It felt so good. I couldn’t stop the quiet whimpers from escaping. I moaned his name and ran my fingers through his hair. Why do men get the super soft hair? God. This feels amazing. “I love you.” He breathed into my neck. My breath caught in my throat. What? It wasn’t like I had never thought I loved him. I did. I was just surprised that he said it first. When I didn’t say it back immediately, his kissing faltered. I didn’t mean to hesitate.

“I love you too.” I smiled, even though he couldn’t see it.

We continued making out for a while until it got too close to my parents getting home. It was a long weekend, so they didn’t care much if he was over late. We were both adults. On weekends, they trusted us to be alone later. Even if alone meant ‘my parents are in their room upstairs or down the hall so shhh’. On school nights, Zach was gone by ten thirty. Even though they trusted us, none of us needed to experience them walking into the house to see their daughter and her boyfriend getting hot and heavy on their couch. Instead, we cozied up on the couch under a blanket and watched a couple more movies. “It’s getting late Reagan. I should head home. Mom will probably send Deputy Standall to come get me soon.”

“Okay.” Zach and I walked to the door and hugged goodbye. I stood on my tip toes and kissed him gently. “I love you.” I whispered.

“I love you too.” He whispered back.

The next morning, I woke up with tiny purple marks on the sides of my neck. He doesn’t usually leave marks. I like it. I wore my hair down so my parents didn’t see them. I may be an adult, but they still preferred I didn’t go around sporting hickeys all the time. Probably part of why they hated Monty so much. My mom felt it was anti-feminist. It was letting a man mark their territory and property. I usually challenged that with her wedding set. Dad just preferred not to think of me as being in a physical relationship. He was aware of it of course. Just preferred not to acknowledge it. Which, I mean, fair.

At school, I couldn’t leave my hair down. It was too hot. I threw it in a high ponytail in history. Zach breathed in sharply when he saw my neck. I turned and smiled at him. “Thank you.” His eyes widened and he coughed to cover a groan. During lunch, I could feel the boys staring at me as they arrived at the table.

“Damn Zach. Didn’t think you had it in you.” Bryce sniggered. I rolled my eyes.

“I did. You finally corrupted him, Reagan?” Justin wiggled his brows at us. I blushed and hid my face in Zach’s chest. I was never this shy about marks with Monty. Maybe that was because no one made comments like that when he did it. Because it was expected. And they knew he would rip their tongues out. I expected Monty to comment. He surprised me when he only quirked a brow. I was less surprised when he pulled me aside before history.

“Don’t let your parents see those. You seem quite attached to him. Wouldn’t want your dad to actually kill him. Maybe you should leave your hair down for a while. Wouldn’t want anyone getting any ideas, would you?”

I was stunned at the unnecessary hostility in his tone. Why the fuck does he care? He didn’t say anything else. I turned as he walked away, leaving me alone in the hall. I still put my hair down though.

Zach and I continued to explore the more physical aspect of our relationship in the coming weeks. Nothing too serious, just some semi-clothed touching. Maybe the rare under clothes touches. Only enough to tease. Never enough to lead anywhere. I was both grateful and frustrated by it. He didn’t leave anymore marks on me either. He could tell I was uncomfortable with his friend’s comments and wanted to avoid it as much as possible. We had agreed to wait until we were both ready. Neither of us were virgins. But it was still new. It did leave me with plenty of time to wonder what it would be like though.

When I wasn’t thinking about all the dirty things Zach and I could get up to, or Zach in general, or Monty, I occupied my time with college applications. My top choice had been UNC Chapel Hill for many years. Even before I knew what I wanted to study. I worked hard in school because of it. There were other schools I would like to go to, but none compared to UNC in my mind. I remembered when Monty and I had talked about what we wanted to do after high school, and he looked amazed but slightly skeptical at my goal. I knew he didn’t mean anything bad by it. We both knew how big of a goal I was. Zach had a different look on his face. He looked at me with complete faith that it would happen. It wasn’t even a question to him. He didn’t verbalize the thought, but I could see it in his eyes. I just hoped he was right.

Admissions emails were due to go out any day now. I both couldn’t wait and absolutely dreaded it. I had applied to seven schools. Statistically speaking, I had to get into at least one of them. I just wasn’t sure which one. Zach tried his best to reassure me that everything would work out. Our friends agreed with him. Monty also tried to reassure me. And keep my mind off of it with his incessant flirting. It was nice. I had a constant I could focus on. Monty flirting with me, as strange as it sounded, was keeping me calm. Zach tried his best to keep my mind occupied. We talked about anything but schools unless we needed to. It was sweet.  I just wasn’t sure it was helping much.

The pring of an email notification on my phone pulled my attention away from the textbook I was reading. I quickly grabbed my laptop and logged on. Pulling up Gmail, I held my breath. It could be any email. An email titled University of North Carolina Chapel Hill Office of Registrar Admissions Decision sat at the top of my inbox in bold letters. This is it. Holy crap. I was shaking so hard I opened the wrong email first.

Back on my inbox page, I took a very deep breath and opened the email. Dear Miss Reagan Taylor, thank you for your application to the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. We regret to inform you that you have not been accepted for admission at this time. I couldn’t read any further. There was more information, I just couldn’t bring myself to read any of it. My eyes had begun to fill with tears. I didn’t get in. I worked so hard. And I still didn’t get in. Numbly, I moved the computer off my lap and grabbed my phone. Unconsciously, I selected a contact and put it to my ear as I felt myself beginning to dissociate.

“Hello?”

“Hi. A-are you busy right now?”

“I don’t have to be. What’s wrong?”

“C-can you come here? Please?”

“I’ll be right there.”

I numbly walked out of my room and went to unlock the front door. In my room, I sat in the center of my bed and hugged my knees. Willing the tears to remain at bay, I screwed my eyes shut. That didn’t do much to help, because all I saw was a string of the words not been accepted running over and over again.

A knock on my bedroom door caused me to look up. I wasn’t aware of how much time had passed. He was standing in my doorway with his hands tucked in his pockets. “I didn’t get in.” I said softly. My voice cracked. His long stride had him at my bedside and sitting down within only a few steps. He pulled me close to him and I cried into his shoulder. He laid us back and he held me as I cried. I felt so vulnerable as we laid there silently.

It must have been at least an hour before we moved. It had started getting dark outside. “Thank you, Monty.”

“You needed me.”

“I know. I just,” I paused, “thank you.”

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” I walked him to the door and went to take a shower. When I got out, I saw that Zach had texted me. I love you and I hope you’re having a good day. I sighed to myself. I couldn’t bring myself to find the energy to text him back. Instead, I crawled into bed and fell into a fitful sleep.

The next day, I threw on a pair of sweatpants and one of Zach’s t-shirts. I was too upset about the email to really care about looking nice. I met Zach at his car in the parking lot. He had a cup of hot chocolate for me and had his adorable happy grin plastered across his face. “Morning beautiful.” I took the to go cup gratefully.

“Morning.” He put his arm around me as we walked, and I leaned against his large frame.

“How was your night?”

“It was okay. Yours?”

“It was alright. Anything exciting happen?” Exciting is not the word I would use.

“Uh, no. Not really.” We had reached my locker. I opened it and dug around for my stuff.

“Hey, Reagan.” Luke called from across the hall. I lifted my arm and waved at him without turning around.

“What’s up Luke?” I asked when he was at my locker. Some of the football team was with him, including Monty.

“You know, it goes. I heard back from UNC yesterday. Did you?”

“Uh.” I cleared my throat and tried to will away more tears. I didn’t miss the sharp intake of breath Monty made. “I uh… Yeah. I didn’t get in.” I muttered. There was confused murmuring all around me. The only one who didn’t say anything was Monty. I didn’t have to look up to see that Zach was glaring daggers at him.

“How did they not accept you?” Charlie asked.

“I don’t know Char. It was a long shot anyway. Their acceptance rate is twenty three percent total. It’s even less for out of state applicants. Applicants who aren’t being given sports scholarships anyway. No offence Luke.”

“None taken. I’m sorry Reagan.”

“It’s okay. I applied to other schools.” I cleared my throat again. “I have to get to class.

“I’ll walk you.” Zach said. I nodded and took his hand in mine.

We stopped on the way when he pulled me aside into an empty classroom. “You didn’t mention that you heard back from UNC.”

“I know. I just… I needed some time to process. Can we talk about this later? I have a reading due at the beginning of class.”

“Sure. I’ll see you at lunch?”

“Of course.” I kissed him on the cheek. I sat through my classes in an almost daze. Monty sent me a couple of texts that made me smile. Zach also sent a couple of goofy pictures to try and cheer me up. My smile didn’t quite meet my eyes as much. I attributed it to being upset about the admission decision.

I met Zach at the doors to the cafeteria and he hugged me. I smiled sadly into his chest. I picked at my lunch silently. I could feel Monty and Zach’s eyes on me. They were watching both me and each other. No one else picked up on the tension. “Did you want to come over after school Zach? My parents are at work.”

“That works. I’ll let my mom know we are studying after school.”

“Studying each other?” Justin smirked. I rolled my eyes. Zach threw a piece of cheese at him.

“Fuck off.”

“Why do you throw food at each other?”

“It’s fun.” They shrugged.

“Alright then. I have a free period so I’m going to finish a project. I’ll see you guys later.” I leaned over and kissed Zach.

A few minutes after I sat down and pulled up my assignment, someone sat next to me. “So. You didn’t tell Zach?”

“No Monty.” I didn’t look up from my computer.

“You didn’t tell him you called me either, did you?”

“No. But I’m sure it will come up tonight when we talk.”

“You’ll let me know if everything is okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. I have class so I’ll text you hot stuff.”

“You better.” I smirked.

Zach and I met each other at my place. My parents were at work and I think both of us knew this was going to become a fight, so I wasn’t surprised when he agreed to come over at lunch without a thought.. We danced around each other in silence. Neither of us knew how to react to the tension between us. With Montgomery it was easy. He would be in a mood or I would be upset about something, we would yell at each other for a while, and then… then it was fixed. I had never fought with Zach before.

“Why didn’t you tell me about UNC?”

“I told you. I needed time to process. To think. That was my top choice Zach. My plans literally changed overnight. That takes time to think through.”

“But I’m your boyfriend. I’m supposed to help you with that stuff. To be there for you.”

“I know. But I need to take time to process before I can deal, okay?”

“Right. Time to process. That’s why Monty knew?”

“How do you know he knew?”

“His reaction this morning. Plus, I heard him talking to Scott and Luke about it in class.”

“Are you mad I didn’t tell you, or are you mad I told Monty?”

“Both.”

“I don’t know why I told him okay?”

“No Reagan. Not okay.”

“I didn’t do it intentionally Zach. I just… dialed. I wasn’t even looking at my phone.”

“Is that supposed to make this better? That your instinct was to call your ex-boyfriend and not me?”

“No. I’m saying that I wasn’t even thinking clearly. All I knew was that in an instant my entire future was fading before my eyes.”

“So, you called Monty.”

“Yes Zach. I called him. I called him and he came. He dropped everything and he came to me.”

“What happened?”

“What do you mean?”

“What. Happened. Reagan?”

“Nothing. I just cried. And cried. And then he left. I was upset.”

“Why couldn’t you call me?”

“Oh my god, Zach. I wasn’t thinking. I can’t explain to you why I called him and not you. I just picked a contact without looking and it was his.”

“Do you still love him?” His question caught me off guard. Do I?

“No.” My voice sounded sure. My brain and heart didn’t believe me. Hopefully Zach would.

“You don’t. Why do you still flirt with him?”

“I don’t love him. As for the flirting, that’s just how we talk to each other. We’ve always done it.”

“Well, I don’t like it.”

“Noted.”  

Zach scoffed. “You flirt with your ex in front of me.”

“I don’t mean anything by it.”

“That doesn’t matter. Do you not think it’s weird that you’re still super close to your ex?”

“Not really, no. He is my friend. You can be friends with an ex, you know.”

“Most people can’t, actually.”

“So what? You’re mad that I’m friends with Monty?”

“I’m not mad Reagan. It’s just a lot to deal with.”

“Why?”

“Do you know how it feels to learn stuff about you, because your ex is talking about it? Or because you two are joking about something?”

“No. I guess I never really thought about it like that. It’s not that weird to us. But it does make sense.” I sat down on my couch. My adrenaline was leveling out again and I felt like an asshole.

“It doesn’t feel good.” He sat down next to me.

“I’m sorry Zach. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything.”

“I know.”

“I’ll talk to Monty about it. Tell him we need to stop the flirting and stuff.” Zach took my hand gently.

“Okay.” I rested my head on his shoulder and he pulled me into his lap. I was shocked that a fight had been resolved that easily and cleanly.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Monty and I met at the docks to talk after Zach and I fought. “Hey.”

“Hey sweetheart.” I grimaced slightly.

“Zach and I talked.”

“Okay. How did it go?”

“He was pretty ticked off that you knew about UNC before he knew. And that you came over instead of him.”

“But I’m your friend.”

“And he is my boyfriend. Also, for the record, you aren’t just my friend Monty. You’re my ex.”

“So?”

“So, you aren’t just my friend.”

“Why does it matter?”

“Because. The way you talk to me, it’s like we never broke up. You’re the one who said you wanted to break up. That you weren’t ready for a serious relationship. Or any relationship for that matter.”

“Is it you, or Zach that has a problem with it?” My silence spoke volumes. “I see. Well, you go tell your boyfriend that we talked.”

“Monty. I do feel bad about it. It’s not fair to Zach to have to deal with you flirting with me and making moves all the time.”

“You know, if I believed that you felt bad, or that you were honestly asking me to stop, I would. But I know you. I know this isn’t coming from you.”

“Montgomery. You need to stop. I’m asking you to stop.”

“Fine. I’ll cool it.”

“Thank you. That’s all I ask. Still friends?”

“Of course, Rea.” He hugged me tightly. I felt like I would let tight hugs slide because I liked them. We walked to our cars together quietly. I didn’t want to have to go or have things change, but I knew that if I wanted to stay with Zach, they would have to.

Monty was true to his word for all of three days. We were still friendly. The flirting had stopped though. There was still a buzz in the air when we interacted. It was easier to ignore now. At least, I thought it had stopped. I was painting my finger and toenails in the bathroom on Saturday night. It was my weekly self-care night. My phone rang before I could decide on a face mask to do while my nails dried. I smiled but rolled my eyes a bit when I saw who was calling. “Hi Monty.” I tried to sound annoyed but couldn’t keep the smile out of my voice.

“Hey Reagan.” He slurred slightly. I could hear the sound of boys falling and goofing off in the background. Bryce is having a thing, I guess.

“What’s up Buddy?”

“Jus’ guys night.”

“You don’t say.”

“You sound relaxed.”

“And you sound mighty drunk. It’s Saturday.”

“Right. Right. Girly night.” He chuckled.

“Yes. Is there a reason you called?”

“Wanted to say hi.”

“Oh.” I thought we had talked about this.

“I miss you.” He slurred. Oh boy.

“Uh. Miss you too.” I grimaced. He was drunk so I wasn’t going to just pretend I hadn’t heard him. Montgomery wouldn’t remember this in the morning.

“I’m an idiot.”

“No, you aren’t.”

“I am. I let you go.”

“Monty….”

“I love you.” My eyes widened. No. I felt the corners of my eyes begin to fill with tears. Looking up, I blinked them away. I didn’t know what to say.

“I-.”

“I’m in love with you.”

“Monty.” I whispered. Why is this happening? We talked about this. At least he won’t remember this tomorrow. But I can’t just act like it didn’t happen.

“Buddy, get off the phone and come play.” Garrison called in the background.

“Gotta go.” Monty said before hanging up. What the actual fuck just happened?

I didn’t text Monty or Zach all day Sunday. I didn’t actually talk to or text anyone aside from my parents. I woke up on Monday dreading school. I just laid in bed and stared at my ceiling. I would see Zach and have to act like that phone call didn’t happen. And that Montgomery hadn’t said what he said. I would also see him. I don’t know if I can do that. He’s your friend. He was wasted when he called you. He won’t remember it. Taking a deep breath, I threw off the covers and got up. I stopped for a coffee on my way to school to try to calm my nerves, even though I was more of a tea person.

I walked into the school and as luck would have it, the first person I saw, was Montgomery freaking De la Cruz. Thank you, Universe. Instantly, I turned on my heel and walked out of the building before he could see me. Books weren’t important now. I had to avoid him. I power walked to the nearest exit and stopped by a large tree. Leaning against it, I took a deep breath and contemplated ditching school. That wasn’t going to be possible. Because the universe decided to say fuck Reagan today. Zach was walking towards me from the parking lot. He waved. I pretended I hadn’t seen it and ignored him. He stopped when he got to my tree. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Hey. Yeah. I’m okay.”

“You’re breathing kind of heavy. And leaning against a tree.”

“I’m fine Zach.”

“Okay.” He didn’t sound convinced. Before he could say anything more, I picked up my bag and brushed past him. I took the long way around to the back of the building to physics. I slumped in my seat and doodled through the whole class. I was doing well enough that the teacher wasn’t going to call on me.

I spent the next week avoiding Monty. I didn’t answer his texts. I took different routes to class. As far as I was concerned, he didn’t exist anymore. Except for the near constant string of text messages that I was getting from him. And his confession running over in my head any time I had a free moment to think. Why did he have to do that? I was getting on just fine. Zach and I were in a good place again. We agreed that we would just be friends. Fine. Fine. Fine.

I was also distant with Zach. I felt awful about it. You love him. He can say it to you sober. He loves you. If he saw me in the halls, he would come over and I would let him walk me to class. We would hold hands. My grip wasn’t as tight as usual. He would put his arm around me. I wouldn’t lean against him. I think he could tell something was off. Being Zach, he wouldn’t bring it up though. Since I was avoiding my two favourite jocks, I couldn’t exactly sit with Zach at lunch. I sat with Jess and Alex instead. Without Zach. They exchanged looks the first day but said nothing.

I went to the baseball game after school to support Zach. And to make it seem like nothing was wrong between him and I or Monty and I. I didn’t want people asking too many questions. Questions I didn’t want to answer. Monty’s drunken declaration had brought up feelings I had spent the better part of a year and a half, trying to bury. I was the one that wanted more from him. I was the one who needed more. When it was clear I wasn’t going to get more, I settled. And then when we broke up, I was comfortable in the fact that even though I loved him and I felt like he loved me, it would go unsaid and we could just be friends. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that was why we were so close and flirted with each other. While I wasn’t in love with him anymore, I still did love him. Even though I told Zach I wasn’t. Liar. You are still hopelessly in love with him. Maybe. But I can’t have him the way I want. And I love Zach. I just haven’t decided if I’m in love with him yet.

After the game, I waited to say bye to Zach and congratulate him on the win. “Congratulations 16. You won.” I smiled as he walked up to me. I was waiting at the bottom of the bleachers.

“Of course, we did. I had my biggest cheerleader in the stands.” He grinned. I couldn’t help but melt. Pushing away any and all thoughts of Montgomery’s phone call, I threw my arms around his neck and let him scoop me up into his arms as we kissed. My legs wrapped around his waist and his hands held my thighs.

“Get a room.” Bryce called out to us as he passed with some of the guys. The jocks cheered and whistled. I flipped them off and pulled away from the kiss.

“Two things. One, you don’t have girlfriends because you whistle at girls. We aren’t dogs. Two, fuck off.” I called back.

“I have a girlfriend.” Anders yelled.

“I know. She’s awesome. That’s two of twenty. Now shut up and leave us be assholes.”

“Yes Ma’am.”

Zach let out a loud laugh when they walked away. “That was amazing.”

“Yeah. It kind of was. Sadly, I have to go work on a project. Walk me to my car?” I said as I jumped out down.

“Lead the way.”

I was working on my project when Monty called me. I sent it straight to voicemail. He called again. I let it ring out. He called back. This man just doesn’t quit. Again, I let it ring. He called a fourth time. Jesus. I answered it on the second to last ring. “What?”

“Woah. Who pissed in your tea today?”

“You called me four times in a row. What do you want Montgomery?”

“Well, I was calling to see why you have been ignoring me. But now I’m going to ask why you’re being such a bitch?”

“I’m busy. And you called me four times in a row.”

“Busy with what?”

“A project.”

“Okay. I’ll keep this quick then. Since a project is apparently more important than your best friend.” I didn’t respond. “Why have you been avoiding me, Reagan?”

“I haven’t been avoiding you.”

“Bull. I haven’t seen or heard from you in almost a week. Are you mad at me or something?”

“No. I’ve been busy.”

“With Zach?”

“No. With stuff. I have a life outside of Zach Dempsey and you, you know.”

“Stuff. Okay. What stuff?”

“School stuff. Trying to figure out what I’m going to do with the rest of my life. Stuff.”

“Alright. I don’t believe you though. Did I do something wrong?” Yes. You did. Something very wrong. That you apparently can’t even remember. Meaning you didn’t have to just be drunk to say it. You had to be wasted.

“No. I’ve just been busy.” I sighed.

“We’re okay?”

“Yes Monty. We’re okay.”

“Okay good. Did you want to do lunch tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

“Great. Rosie’s at one?”

“I’ll be there.” I threw my phone on my bed when I hung up. This man is infuriating. Why can’t I say no to him?

To no one’s surprise, Monty didn’t stop flirting with me. He made comments about my outfits or little things that he knew about me. It had finally driven Kyla away. I feared that Zach would be the next person he drove away. I didn’t fall into his trap anymore and let him bait me into flirting with him again. He tried hard. But I didn’t want to go back on my word to Zach. I couldn’t control what Monty did. But I could control how I reacted. So, any time Monty flirted with me, I ignored it. I pushed down the little flutter in my stomach and blush that threatened to creep up my neck. Zach would roll his eyes and smirk if he was around to watch the spectacle that had become Monty and my interactions. We both figured he would grow tired of not getting a response and quit eventually. I have no idea why. Montgomery De la Cruz never was one to back down from a challenge.

As the school year started heading towards its close, the big senior trip was coming up. Every year, the school sent the senior class on a trip. It was supposed to be educational and technically was fair game on any exams except our government finals when we got back. But really, it was to let us blow off some steam and get us into a different environment, so we were less likely to do a Senior Skip Day or senior prank. The only teachers who tested on it were the hard asses. This year we would be going to DC to “learn about the government and how our nation’s democracy runs.”

The senior class was abuzz with excitement about our trip to DC. It was fully paid for by the school due to it being a mandatory trip, aside from the few thousand we needed to fundraise for. It wasn’t cheer camp so people were more willing to donate for a bake sale, over Dollar Valentines. Typically, everyone shared rooms at the hotel. This year however, there was an uneven number of girls in the class. Meaning that one lucky girl, would get a whole room to herself for the week. To make it a fair draw, every grade twelve girl’s name was put into a raffle. A random teacher from the neighbouring school then pulled a name from the bunch, to keep it impartial. An email would be sent out to every girl, letting her know if she was picked.

I held my phone tightly all day on draw day. It was a week out from the day we were leaving. We weren’t told when the email would go out. Only that we would know by tonight. I hope it’s me. At dinner, my phone pringed. I shot up like I had been bitten.

“Reagan. You know the rules. No phones at dinner.” My mom scolded.

“But Mom. It’s draw day for the single room. I need to go check. Please? Thirty seconds. Promise.”

“Okay. Go check.” She waved me off. I ran to the counter and grabbed my phone. Opening the email, I read it intently. Reagan Taylor- Single room. I screeched in excitement.

“I got the single room! I got the single!”

“That’s wonderful honey. Now come finish your broccoli.” I quickly texted Zach. I got it. :) He replied while I was finishing dinner. That’s great. :)

I texted Monty after dinner as well. I got the single room. He replied while I was getting ready for bed.

Excellent. What better place for you and Dempsey to screw each other silly? Can’t wait to hear all the details.

You are such a creep.

You like it.

The Friday before we left, Zach came over after school to help me pack. My parents were having date night, so it was just the two of us for the foreseeable future. Ever the gentleman, he helped me carry my suitcase up from the storage room. The rose gold hard case set was laid out on my floor. I put Zach in charge of folding my clothes, since he was the self-proclaimed “master packer”. He pouted slightly when I said he couldn’t fold my underwear. I managed to sneak in a few more sexy sets as well. We would be gone for a week. A lot can happen in six nights.

“Do you like this shirt?” I asked him.

“It’s nice.”

“I could wear it to the Capital.”

“Yeah. Or dinner.”

“There’s going to be dinner, hmmm?”

He walked towards me and took the shirt from my hands. “There might be. There also might be a lot more than dinner.” Zach wrapped his arms around me.

“Oh really?”

“Mhmm. If you want more than dinner.”

“I do have a single room.”

“That you do. Bring the shirt.”

“Okay.” I felt a blush creeping all the way up to my ears.

After some more packing, we took a break. A very nice break. We were laying on my bed. The suitcase was still open in the corner of my room. Zach shifted so he was resting his head in his hand on his elbow. I looked up at him and grinned. He grinned back. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He leaned down and kissed me softly. I kissed him back and wrapped my arms around his neck. Zach smiled into the kiss and moved to climb on top of me. He straddled my waist so that I was on my back again. The more he kissed me, the more I wanted this to go further.

My hands left his neck and went to pull on his shirt. I was trying to pull it off without breaking our kiss. When it was halfway up his torso, he pulled away from the kiss and pulled the cotton over his head. I smiled demurely at him. He began kissing me again and our tongues did their playful dance. I moaned softly when he kissed my neck. He didn’t suck hard enough to leave any marks. I sat up to take off my shirt when he pulled it up my stomach. He kissed me once again and I carded my fingers through his hair. My breathing started to get heavier as his Zach’s hands explored my body. My hips bucked lightly. He unzipped my jeans and I wiggled them off. They were pushed to the end of the bed along with our shirts. I struggled with his belt a little. I wasn’t used to it yet. It still felt foreign under my fingers. Finally, I had removed it. I unzipped his jeans and Zach kicked them off. He moved his kisses down my chest, brushing over the top of my bra. I sighed. My hands moved to his to the front of his torso and I ran my fingers up and down his chest. The skin was smooth, but I felt goosebumps form where I touched. We were still in our underwear. This feel so… nice. Nice is good. So why does it feel like I have no clue what I’m doing?

We made out passionately. Our exploration of each other’s bodies continued. There was light teasing and nipping at spots. It felt good. Zach unhooked my bra and I pulled it off. It landed at the end of the bed with our other clothes. I gasped when he grew bolder and sucked a pebbling nipple into his mouth. His tongue flicked it a few times and I moaned his name. He used his other hand to roll and tease my other nipple. My hips couldn’t be stopped from bucking. I wanted more. I reached for his boxers. I was only able to brush his V-line. He pulled away from me.

“Did you want something?” He asked cheekily.

“Mhmm.” I moaned and reached for him again. My eyes were trained on the bulge in his boxers. They widened as he pulled them off and his cock sprang out. Reaching out, I grasped it in my hand. It felt hot and heavy. He moaned softly when I began stroking.

To make things easier and more comfortable, he rolled over so he was on his back. I sat up some and watched his face. Zach’s eyes were closed, and his brow was furrowed. He looked relaxed. I leaned down and kissed him. His fingers tangled into my hair as he deepened the kiss. My strokes became more confident and picked up speed. The quiet moans and grunts he was emitting were very encouraging. Soon enough, his hips were bucking. He sat up to stop me. I looked at him with dark eyes. He smiled at me and sat up, pushing me down on the soft mattress. Zach was gazing at me with the most kind and loving expression I had ever seen. My heart swelled.

I couldn’t wait any longer and reached to pull down my underwear. Zach pulled them down my legs and threw them towards the end of my bed. I got comfortable as he reached out for me. His fingers quickly found my core, and then my clit. My breath hitched when he rubbed it. He was gentle. I silently thanked him for that. Gathering some lubrication, he spent a little while trying different gestures and patterns as he ran his fingers through my core. There was some back-and-forth movement, as well as some up and down. It felt good but it wasn’t quite it. He tried circles and I moaned his name loudly. “That’s it. Do that. Do more of that.” My hips twisted. He leaned down to kiss me again while he rubbed me. Zach continued to rub my clit softly in circular motions. I moaned lowly as a finger entered me. It was slow and calculated. He continued to stimulate me for a few minutes, varying the speed and intensity of both his rubbing and thrusting. My hips wiggled in an attempt to get more stimulation.

Deciding I was aroused enough, he pulled away and looked at me questioningly. “There is a new box of condoms in my sock drawer.” He nodded and stood to grab one. Once the condom was properly and securely in place, he climbed back on top of me. I felt dwarfed by his large frame. He rubbed my clit and fingered me a few more times, before I felt his cock brush against my folds. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for him to enter me. I was expecting something quick. Like ripping off the band aid. Instead, he slowly pushed his way into my body. I groaned and my head rolled to the side. His breath hitched when he bottomed out.

“Shit.” He cursed in my ear.

After a few beats, he began to slowly thrust. I tried to match his slow, sweet pace. It just felt so different. Nice. Good. But still different. Zach started kissing up and down my neck again. I smiled and eventually, was able to match his thrusts. They began speeding up slightly and he intertwined his fingers with mine. I squeezed his hands. I closed my eyes when he kissed me. It almost felt like there was something missing. While I was trying to focus on the sensations coursing through my body, I realized that we weren’t just having sex. We were making love. I froze slightly but covered it by tensing up a little. I could feel my orgasm approaching anyway. I could tell it would be different than normal. I was both excited and a little scared.

As though Zach could sense my thoughts, he kissed me deeply and murmured against my lips, “let go.” His thrusts picked up speed and my hips stilled. I felt the knot in my stomach start to tighten and I clutched his shoulders. I moaned loudly as I felt the knot snap. My orgasm was different than it had been in the past. It was good, but it was less intense. There was no convulsing or extreme contortion. He continued to thrust, pulling me through my orgasm. My muscles relaxed and I slumped for a second. I could tell Zach’s high was in his reach. I began whispering dirty nothings in his ear and telling him that I loved him to try to get him to finish. I kissed his neck and nibbled softly. His thrusting became sloppy and he groaned loudly as he peaked.

With a laboured grunt, Zach rolled off of me and pulled me close to him. I closed my eyes for a second. Then I remembered I had to go to the bathroom. I rolled over and sat up slowly. When I returned to bed, Zach had discarded the condom and put on his boxers. I pulled his shirt on, along with a clean pair of underwear. Curling up in his arms, I rested my eyes for a while. “I love you.” I whispered as I drifted off.

“I love you too.” We woke up an hour later and finished packing, sneaking coy glances at each other.

Tuesday morning started unfairly early. We had to be at the airport by eight for our flight at ten. My alarm went off at five thirty. I protested as I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Slowly, I made my way to the bathroom to shower. I didn’t need to look super cute, but I at least wanted to smell good. It was a five-hour flight. I double checked that I had everything packed while my hair towel dried. My dad knocked on my door and I grunted at him. The shower had done little to wake me up. “Morning Kiddo. I’m just going to take your suitcase downstairs.”

“K.” I muttered.

Downstairs after I got dressed, I poured myself a very large cup of coffee. I didn’t really like sleeping on planes. Plus, I could get a tea after we got through security. My mom had offered to drive Zach and I to the airport, so I called him to make sure he was up. “Good morning Baby.”

“Good morning babe.” He sighed on the other end of the line.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Jut tired.”

“Me too. Mom just wanted to make sure you were up.”

“I am. Stuff is by the door and everything.”

“Oh good. See you in half an hour?”

“Okay. See you then. I love you.”

“I love you too.” I hung up and texted Monty to make sure he was up. Get up loser, we’re going to DC.

I’m up. And it’s too early for bending Mean Girls quotes.

It’s never too early. He replied with an eye roll emoji. I shook my head and didn’t answer.

“Reagan, are you ready to go?” My mom asked.

“Yeah.” I grabbed my backpack and rolled my suitcase out to the car. Dad lifted it into the back and checked that mom and I were securely buckled. Have to make sure my girls are safe. He had said when I asked him about doing that when I was younger. I still didn’t let him see the way I smiled about it.

Zach was waiting on his front steps for us. It was still early and May was still asleep. He waved and mom opened the back hatch for him. I looked in the rear view mirror and smirked at the way his muscles bulged when he lifted his suitcase into the car. He kissed me when he got in and greeted my mom. “Thanks for the ride Mrs. Taylor.”

“Of course, Zach.” She smiled at him from the driver’s seat. Once we got onto the highway, traffic was fairly light. It was still pretty early so we beat most of the commuters. It grew heavier as we got closer to the airport. None of us were surprised. Especially given that an entire high school senior class was descending upon it.

Mom parked in the drop off zone for the airline. Zach got out and walked around the car to open my door. He hugged me tightly as I stepped out. I breathed in the fresh scent of his cologne. “Hi.”

“Hi.” I looked up at him and grinned. Throwing on my backpack, I grabbed Zach’s while he got our suitcases. Inside, we met up with our friends. Clay was basically dragging Justin through the airport. Alex and Charlie both looked very awake for seven forty-five in the morning. Must be nice. I nodded at Monty and Scott from across the room. They were talking to Bryce and Luke.

Getting our tickets and going through security went shockingly well. Since we had so much time to kill, the teachers let us roam the gate freely. We had to swear left and right we would be on the plane. I abandoned Zach with Justin and Alex to go in search of a piping hot cup of tea. “Reagan.” Monty said as he approached me.

“Morning Monty. It’s tea time.”

“I need coffee. I’ll go with you.” We walked through the gate silently. I could feel his eyes on me. He was trying way too hard to seem like he wasn’t

staring at me.

“Can I help you?”

“There’s something different about you.”

“Oh? Like what?”

“You seem… less tense.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” He stopped for a minute. “Wait. Did you two finally?” I blushed. “You did. Was it good?”

“Yeah.” I replied. It wasn’t a lie. It was good.

“Yeah? Better than us?” I turned to him, perplexed.

“Is that trick question? How do you want me to answer that?”

“Is that a no?” He smirked.

“No. It’s not an answer. Because it’s none of your business.”

“Alright, don’t tell me.”

Tea and coffee in hand, we walked back to the gate to sit until our plane boarded. The minutes ticked by. Zach was watching YouTube videos on his phone. I peeked over my book at him. He looked up and smiled. I felt eyes on us and turned to Monty. He was smirking at Zach. I rolled my eyes, mouthed piss off to him, and went back to my book. The flight to DC was pretty boring. I was able to sit with Zach and we watched a movie for the first half of it. Afterwards, I listened to some music and read while he slept.

We spent the first night in DC relaxing after a long flight. I enjoyed having a single room. It was quiet and I didn’t have to argue with anyone about what bed I would get. Jess came to do a face mask and have some girl time. It was nice. “So, tell me. What’s new with you and Zach.”

“There’s not much to tell.” I fibbed. She saw right through me.

“Oh, come on Reagan. There is totally something to spill.”

“We finally had sex.”

“No way!”

“Yeah.”

“How was it?” I hesitated. “Girl talk.” She smiled at me and I knew none of what I said would get back to Zach.

“It was nice.”

“And?”

“Good.”

“Nice and good?”

“Yes.”

“That’s the best you can come up with?”

“I don’t know Jessica. It was nice.”

“But it’s supposed to be more than nice.”

“I know. And it wasn’t bad. It was just….”

“No. Don’t even think that. We cleansed. Remember?”

“Okay Ryan Shaver.” I laughed.

“Still.”

“I know. It was just different is all.”

“I get that.” She sighed wistfully. I tried to scrub the mental image of Jessica and Justin going at it like jack rabbits. Ew. No no. Bad.

We toured the Smithsonian on Wednesday and went to the Capital on Thursday to see Congress. I stuck close to Zach the whole time. Monty continued his flirting. It was as though he really had no idea what he had said to me last month on the phone. I did my best to ignore it. But it was starting to get on my nerves. I could tell Zach was growing frustrated as well. While it got on my nerves, I was having a harder and harder time ignoring the butterflies in my stomach when Montgomery tried to charm his way to me. He could tell. I just hoped Zach couldn’t. Our interactions had been tense since last month.

Tensions between me and Monty come to a head in DC. It was Friday night, three days into our weeklong trip. I was coming back from an evening coffee run with Zach and Justin. Monty was milling about with Bryce and Luke outside. I tried to ignore the pang in my chest when I saw them. Monty caught my eye and subtly nodded at me. No one in either of our groups noticed. I pulled out my phone and texted him. My room. 10 mins. He waited until we were inside the hotel to read my message. There was no response. I assumed he got the message and made to excuse myself to my room. “That was really great guys. I’m actually pretty tired and I still have to fill in my trip journal for the day. I think I’m going to head up to my room.”

“Okay, night Reagan.” Justin nodded. He seemed slightly suspicious. I chalked it up to him having his own experience with bullshit excuses.

“Do you want me to walk you up?” Zach asked.

“No, don’t worry. You hang out with Justin. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Alright. Text me when you get upstairs. I love you.”

“I love you too.” I kissed him softly.

Upstairs, I threw my backpack on the unoccupied bed and threw my hair up. Since I would be getting ready for bed soon anyway, I brushed my teeth and changed into my pyjamas while I waited for Montgomery. I was putting my toiletries back in my suitcase when he knocked on my door sharply. He was standing on the other side of the door, his hands once again buried in his pockets when I opened it. “You rang.”

“Hi.” I moved out of the doorway and let him in.

“What did you want to talk about Reagan?”

“No one saw you come up here, did they?”

“No. they didn’t. Is that what you’re worried about? Someone knowing that I’m in your room?”

“Of course not. Its just….”

“Zach. You can say his name. I’m a big boy.”

“I told Zach that he didn’t have to worry about you and I.” Monty scoffed, bitterly.

“Yeah. Nothing to worry about with us. Sure.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“If I was in his place, I would worry too.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean Montgomery?”

“Last month, you told me that we aren’t just friends. And you weren’t wrong. Because people who are just friends don’t look for each other in crowds. Or stop when other people are talking about them. The thing you forgot to mention is how unfair you were being to both of us.”

“I don’t do that.”

“Bullshit. I’ve seen it. And if I’ve seen it, so has Zach. He isn’t that oblivious.”

“Zach has a problem with our friendship.”

“Oh, so now you admit it. Least I got that out of you. Only took a month.”

“It makes him uncomfortable that we are so close. And I feel bad about it. I told you that already.”

“If you expect me to believe you care so much about how our friendship affects your boyfriend, then why did you call me about UNC as soon as you found out and not him? Why did you lie and cancel plans with him to spend time with me? Why is it that until a month ago, you flirted with just as much intensity as I did? Why did-.” I opened my mouth to stop him. “No. You don’t get to talk right now Reagan. It’s my turn to talk.” I closed my mouth and looked down. I was stunned and a little bit scared. He had never yelled at me like that before. “Why did you ask me to come get you when you got too drunk at a party on a college visit and not him? Even after you told me things had to change? Because I would love to hear you explain that.”

I was silent. I knew I couldn’t deny any of what he had said. We weren’t just friends. We didn’t know how to be friends. Or we never wanted to be. “Well?”

“I… you weren’t being fair to me either Monty. I’m not the only one at fault here. I wouldn’t have had to cancel on Zach if you hadn’t shown up to my house unannounced needing first aid. Again. You’re the one who started it with the flirting. As soon as you saw that I was moving on and could be happy with someone else, you fucking start flirting with me and talking to me like you had never stopped. Like you hadn’t broken my heart that day. And maybe I let it go on too long. Maybe I shouldn’t have reciprocated the flirting. But it made me feel good. And it was fun. Until it started having an impact on my actual relationship. With someone who is able to admit that he loves me. You want to stand here and talk to me about looking for someone in a crowd or stopping when people talk about them? What about when you drunk dialed me telling me that you love me? What about how anytime we are alone together you waste time leaving just so you don’t have to go? I’m not the only one at fault here. I asked you to stop flirting with me and you didn’t.”

“Is that phone call what did it?”

“I’m with someone who doesn’t have to be drunk to tell me that he loves me. And no. The call didn’t do anything. But it’s nice to know you remember it.”

“You want me to say it? I’m completely sober. You really want to hear me say it?”

“Yes.” I said loudly, exasperated.

“Easy. I love you.”

We were silent for a minute, finally aware of the tension in the air. I made the first move and kissed him. It was chaste at first. I was giving him a chance to take it back. When he didn’t pull away or stop it, I deepened the kiss. He wrapped his arms around me, picked me up, and placed me on the bed. His hands trailed down my body and played with the hem of my shirt. He sat on the bed beside me and pulled me on top of him. I straddled his waist and sat in his lap, slipping my hands under his t-shirt. When I traced his abs, he sucked in a breath. Everything with him felt so natural. So easy. I slipped my hands out from his shirt and pulled away from our kiss. He looked puzzled until I pulled off my shirt. I nodded at him and he pulled off his flannel. Next to go was his t-shirt. His pupils were blown. He was staring at me, not with hunger like I had expected, but in awe and admiration.

I kissed him again, but I quickly pulled away. I kissed down his neck, searching for the pulse point. We fell backwards in a mess of limbs and kisses on the plush hotel bed. His hands were on my hips instantly to steady me. I had found his pulse point and sucked at it harshly. There was sure to be a mark within the hour. I could feel him pulling at the waistband of my pyjama pants. “Yes.” I whispered in his ear. Monty pulled my bottoms down and off quickly. My underwear was still on and he snapped the waistband cheekily. “Bastard.” I said against his neck.

“You love it.” He moaned loudly when I bit his neck in response. I had to cover his mouth.

“Shhh. People could hear.”

“Screw people.”

With that, he flipped us over, so he was on top now. My hands went for his belt and I deftly undid it. My muscles still remembered the movements. The sound of the clinking metal as the hook hit the buckle. The way I had to tug a little harder to get it to come out of the loops because it stuck on the back one. Soon enough, his belt and jeans were strewn across the room along with the rest of our clothes. It was his turn to kiss me. He dragged his teeth against my bottom lip, pulling it slightly. I moaned lowly. His kisses traveled down my neck quickly. He always did prefer to leave marks on my collarbones and breasts. My neck was still fair game to him and he often left at least one mark on it at any given time. Just like he had so many times before so long ago, he left a clear bite mark on my décolleté. His attention was turned to my breasts then. He deftly unhooked my bra and pulled it off. It joined the ever-growing pile of clothes flung across the room.

The marks he left on my breasts were small in comparison to the one I had left on his neck. He is probably trying to hide them. I too, moaned loudly when he nipped my skin. He covered my mouth like I had done to him only moments before. The difference was that I grabbed his wrist in my hands like I was trying to hold onto him for dear life. I heard him chuckle and felt the stupid smirk against my chest. “Shhh. People could hear.” He mocked.

“Screw people.” He uncovered my mouth and pulled away for a moment. I gazed at him wantonly. I realized what he wanted a second later when he tried to both push and pull me further up the bed. Taking the hint, I shimmied my way up, so we had more room. Falling off the bed would certainly raise suspicion about what was happening in here.

Montgomery continued his journey down my body to my underwear. He stopped to place a gentle kiss to each of my hips. “Think you can keep quiet Kitten?” I melted at the nickname. I hadn’t heard it in so long.

“Yes.”

“Okay.” He pulled at the waistband of my underwear and they landed on the floor beside the bed. I sighed as he placed kisses to my pubic mound and my upper and inner thighs. Reaching down, I placed my hand on his hair. It felt so soft. Suddenly, he placed a kiss to my clit and my hips bucked. My fingers curled in his hair slightly. I moaned again, quietly this time, when he began to lap at my folds. My fingers curled in his hair more still. I couldn’t stop myself from tugging slightly. When he focused on sucking my clit I pulled on his hair. He moaned against my core and my body shook. When he added a finger or two to the mix, I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming. I had been secretly imagining this moment for the better part of a year. This felt so much better than I could have ever imagined. My orgasm began to build quickly. My walls started to flutter. Monty chuckled. He was well versed in my body’s reactions to stimuli. We both knew what was coming. His fingers thrust faster, and he stopped sucking my clit. Instead, he rubbed my clit harshly. I had to cover my mouth to keep from moaning too loudly. And then everything was bright and light for a second. I felt a, thankfully given our location, small trickle of liquid spill its way out of me. Monty gently slowed, and then stopped his thrusting and rubbing. I was panting and trying to catch my breath.

“Just give me a second.”

“Of course. Take your time.”

I looked down at him as he climbed up the bed. He settled beside me and reached down to palm at his hard dick. Once I had caught my breath, I shoved his hands out of the way and took over the palming. “You are so evil.” He grumbled.

“You love it.” I slipped my hand under the band of his boxer briefs. I hadn’t even touched his dick and he was bucking his hips already. He gasped when I brushed his dick with my fingertips lightly. I grasped it in my hand and stoked it. My movements were stilted by his underwear. After I took them off and dropped them next to my own underwear, there was much more real estate to work with. My hand was back to stroking right away. I was mostly just trying to bide time getting my energy back.

A little longer and my energy was back up to useful levels. So, I straddled his waist again and leaned in to kiss him. I wasn’t as conscious of my nakedness as I normally was. Our kiss was heated but I managed to pull away somehow. The trailing kisses down his chest made his breathing heavy. When I reached his cock, I licked a stripe from base to tip. I felt him tug at my ponytail holder. “I will never understand how this works.” I chuckled and reached up to pull my hair down. It fell in a cascade around my face. I tucked some behind my ear and repeated the same lick. The groan and hand that was winding its way in my hair told me all I needed to know. I smiled to myself before taking his cock in my mouth. I sucked slowly at first. I needed to take a few minutes to get used to the feeling. He removed his hand from my hair then, letting me do my thing. He put it back when I started to take more and more into my mouth and throat. I sighed softly when I managed to take it all. That last half inch was always iffy. His hand was wrapped up in my hair and holding it away from my face. I was surprised that he remembered not to tug when I started bobbing my head. Or maybe that wouldn’t be something a guy would forget. His hand traveled down to the base of my hair and rested against my skull. He started to buck his hips and I gagged slightly. Focusing on breathing through my nose, I kept my pace up. I knew he was holding back. I moaned around his cock and he cursed under his breath. I didn’t quite catch it. I stopped sucking to take a big breath of air.

Before I could resume my actions, Monty tugged on my hair. I looked up at him. There’s the hunger. He tugged on my hair again. He was trying to pull me up towards him without hurting me or being too demanding about it. I crawled forward towards the headboard. Kissing him again was the easiest choice I made this trip. I got lost in the feeling of his lips on mine and his tongue fighting mine for dominance. He took advantage of my distraction and rolled us over again. He always did like to be on top. “Do you have a condom anywhere?” he asked between kisses.

“I slipped one in the nightstand beside the Bible.” I breathed.

“You would put it beside the Bible.” He sat up and reached into the drawer, pulling out the blue foil packet. Once the condom was in place and the foil was discarded, he kissed me again. He was still kissing me when he adjusted our positions so he could enter me. My neck had always been a favourite spot to kiss. I gasped when I felt his cock enter me. It felt amazing. My body knew what to do instinctively as soon as he began thrusting. My hips were quickly able to match his pace. I gripped his biceps tightly, trying to convince myself that I wasn’t dreaming.

As his pace quickened, mine stilled. I was watching him. His brow was furrowed, focusing on this moment. I was pretty sure both of us weren’t sure if it would ever happen again. I reached up and brushed some hair that had fallen into his face away. Montgomery hit a particularly sensitive spot and my hand fell to his shoulder, squeezing and digging my nails into the skin. I moaned loudly and he kissed me to muffle it. “Shhh.” He cooed against my mouth. I whimpered. I felt my orgasm building again. It was coming on fast. My hips started to move on their own accord again. His thrusts started to falter, and I mewled. We were both on a rollercoaster that was speeding up to a stomach dropping fall. I covered my mouth so no one could hear the scream trying to jump from my throat. My eyes screwed shut tightly and my eyes rolled back in my head. The white light was so bright. As soon as my orgasm began to hit, so did Monty’s.

He pulled out of me quickly and discarded the used condom. All but falling over me, he rolled onto his back. We were both breathless. I was gasping for air. He was panting heavily. I rolled over onto my side, for some reason shy to cuddle up against him. It seemed silly to be concerned about that after what we had just done. But it felt like crossing a line. “Come here.” Monty pulled me closer to him.

“Are you sure we should be doing this? It doesn’t cross a line?”

“Reagan. We just had arguably the best sex of our lives and I told you I love you. I think we are way past being concerned about crossing lines.” I sighed, realizing he was probably right. Might as well get comfortable. “You need to go pee first.” I sighed again and excused myself. Back in bed, I curled up beside him again.

“We had to go and make everything complicated.”

“When has anything about us not been complicated?”

“I guess you’re right. Will you stay?” He checked his watch and thought for a minute.

“I can stay for a while if you want me to.”

“Yes please.”

I woke up the next morning alone with the blankets tucked around me tightly. There was a note on the pillow next to me written in Montgomery’s messy scrawl. I’ll be waiting. Remember that. I love you. I set the note in my lap and rubbed my face. I should check my phone. See if I missed anything important. Zach had texted me to say good night the night before, while I was… otherwise engaged. There was a text from Justin asking if I needed to talk. And Scott. He wanted to know if I knew where Monty was last night. Oh god. I forgot they were sharing a room. Oh shit. I need to face Zach now. Deciding it would be best to get it over with as soon as possible, I dragged my butt out of bed. I tucked Monty’s note in my suitcase while I got dressed.

When I looked in the mirror and saw the marks on my chest and neck, I rolled my eyes. I packed a heavy-duty concealer for my under eyes. I wasn’t planning on using it to cover hickeys that my ex-boyfriend left on me. Blending and layering took longer than expected but it was early enough that I was still done at a reasonable time. I had to leave my hair down though. Throwing on a pair of sneakers, I made my way to Zach and Justin’s room. I paused for a second when I passed Montgomery’s room. I shook my head. You can’t. Not while Zach is still a factor in the equation. I knocked on Zach’s door and he opened it shirtless. My eyes trailed down his body. I couldn’t stop the memories of last night from flooding back. “Good morning beautiful.”

“Morning Zachy. Can I come in?”

“Yeah. I’m just about ready.” I nodded and went to sit on his bed. Thankfully I wasn’t walking funny. When he was ready, we went downstairs hand in hand.

Monty was talking to Scott in the hotel lobby. I was shocked to see him awake and dressed at this time. The man likes his sleep. And we didn’t exactly get much last night. “Morning Scott. Monty.” Zach stopped to talk as we passed. I couldn’t look Monty in the eye.

“Morning lovebirds.” Scott replied.

“Zach. Reagan.”

“Morning.”

“No tea yet?”

“No.”

“I see. Long night?” I could hear the smirk in Monty’s voice. I hate you.

“I stayed up watching tv.” Zach began making small talk with the boys but I didn’t contribute anymore. I just wanted to get out of there and be alone with my boyfriend. Part of me hoped I could forget that last night ever happened. That didn’t stop me from thinking about it though. The longer they talked, the more I thought about it.

“Babe let’s go. Brunch is waiting.” I urged him to stop talking to Monty and Scott. Please don’t invite them.

“It’s not even eleven Rea. I don’t think it counts as brunch yet.” Scott laughed.

“Okay, then breakfast is waiting. Either way, I’m hungry and food that is far too calories dense to be considered a proper morning meal is waiting.”

“Did you guys want to come with?” My eyes widened. Did he just…? He did not just invite them with us.

“Uh.” Monty cleared his throat. “Are you sure you want to invite me?”

“Yeah. I mean, you and Reagan are friends. I’m going to have to get used to it somehow.”

“Why don’t we ask Reagan?” Monty turned and looked at me, raising an inquisitive brow.

“Um. I- uh.” I looked down, blushing. “I was kind of hoping we could go… just the two of us?” I asked Zach, raising my voice a couple of octaves.

“Oh. Oh, I’m sorry. I just thought…,” he paused and took my hand again, “of course we can go just us. I was just trying to be nice and make an effort.” He was looking at me so kindly that I had to look away. “Sorry guys.”

“Nah, no worries. Gotta get time with your girl.” Scott waved it off. He shot Monty a look that I didn’t like. It made me feel uneasy. Does he know? Before I could think too much into it, Zach was leading me outside.

Brunch was delicious. Zach was his usual slightly oblivious but in a cute way self. If he had any idea something was wrong, he didn’t let on. On our way back, we stopped to sit and look at the White House from a distance. “Why did you invite Monty and Scott to have brunch with us?”

“Well, I didn’t realize you wanted to go just the two of us.”

“That’s not what I meant. You don’t like Monty. So why invite him to hang out?”

“He’s your friend. As much as I don’t like it and I don’t like how he talks to you, he’s important to you. So, I’m willing to try to be nice to him.” Oh. Well now I feel like even more of an asshole.

“That… That’s really nice of you Zachy. Thank you.”

“No problem. What do you say we head back and watch a movie in your room?” He kissed my temple and stood, holding his hand out to me.

“My room? Could we maybe go back to yours? Mine is kind of messy. I had some trouble finding something to wear this morning.”

“Okay. I don’t think Justin is holing himself up in there today.”

Scott caught us when we got back to the hotel. “Hey! Can I steal Reagan for a few minutes? I need to ask her something about an assignment in Spanish.”

“Sure. We were just going to watch a movie.”

“O-okay.” I waved to Zach and trailed behind Scott to his and Monty’s shared room. “I’m hopeless at Spanish and you know it. What is this about?” Please tell me he doesn’t know.

“Are you going to tell Zach about last night?” Fuck.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“That’s crap. Are you going to tell him, or not? Because he deserves to know.”

“How do you know about it?”

“Monty didn’t come in until like two or three this morning. I hadn’t seen him for hours before that. When I saw him this morning, and the calling card you left on his neck, it wasn’t hard to put two and two together. The concealer on your neck just confirmed my suspicions. Just be thankful Zach is too oblivious to notice it.” I sighed, knowing he was right.

“I will. Just… not while we are still here. I don’t want to ruin anything. More than it already is anyway. Plus no one wants to deal with anyone getting arrested on a school trip.”

“Okay.”

“Is that all?” I turned to leave.

“Yeah. Actually, one more thing?” I stopped just short of the door. “Monty really does love you. And anyone with half a brain cell can see that you still love him. So, you deserve to be happy.”

“Thanks Scott.”

I spent the rest of the trip trying to avoid Montgomery and hold my tongue around Zach. I slept almost the whole flight back to California. School the next day dragged on. It continued to drag on for the next two weeks. Senioritis had set in hard now that we were done the D.C. trip. No one wanted to be there. We were graduating in a month. Most of us were going off to college. The last few weeks of school were basically pointless anyways. Even our teachers didn’t care as much. It was hard, but I managed to stay pretty cordial with Monty. I kept up appearances that everything was fine for most of the two weeks following the trip with Zach. On Friday I woke up and decided that it was time. I had to end things. I had to be fair to him. I had to take a chance and see if Monty and I could make things work this time. I texted Zach on my way to school. Meet me at the docks after school? The water is beautiful this time of year.

Sure.

I sat in my car for ten minutes after I arrived, trying to talk myself out of talking myself out of doing this. Zach wasn’t here yet so I got out of the car and walked around, trying to find a secluded bench where we could talk in private. I found the perfect one under a tree in the shade. It had an amazing view of the water. I snapped a selfie and sent it to him. Come and find me.

Zach snuck up and slid into the spot next to me. I jumped slightly. “Hey beautiful.”

“Hey.”

“I missed you today.”

“Yeah, I had some stuff to do. You know, last minute projects and final touches on assignments.”

“I know.” We sat quietly for a bit, just admiring the view. “You’re right. The water is beautiful this time of year.”

“Yeah.” I picked at my nails nervously. Just do it. “Listen, Zach….” I started.

“Yes?” He took my hand in his. I stared down at it.

“I- I think that…,” I paused. “I think that we need to break up.”

“What? Why?”

“I think it would be the best thing for us Zach.”

“Do you not love me anymore?”

“What? No, of course I do. It’s just… things are changing so fast.”

“Then why?”

“We are both going away to school next year and it will be too hard. I don’t want you to be tied down to someone on the other side or halfway across the country.”

“How do you know it will be too hard, Reagan?”

“Because. I’ve seen people try to make it work. We are eighteen Zach. We have our whole lives ahead of us. College is supposed to be the time where we experiment and make mistakes. To drink too many mixed drinks and wake up in someone else’s bed. I want you to experience that. And you can’t do that if you aren’t single.”

“We don’t leave for school for another two months at least though.”

“I don’t want us to wait until a week before we leave to decide that going into college single is the best choice.” Zach was silent for a while. I felt so bad. It needed to be done though.

“I guess you’re right.”  I smiled sadly at him. “You’ll always be special to me, you know that?”

“I know. You’ll always be special to me too.” I squeezed his hand and he kissed me softly for the last time. Knowing he would need time to sit and process, I was the one who stood and left him on the bench.

In my car before driving away from the docks and Zach, I sent a text message. Four words. Eleven letters. I hoped he would know what it meant. I love you too. The weight of hitting send was unimaginable. I had spent so long denying it, that I didn’t know how to feel about it. I guess I would just have to wait and see what the future held.

[word-scribbless]

Different

I know I have requests to write but this one has been sitting in my drafts and I wanted to finally post it!

Masterlist

Summary: When Hollis man tries to throw a wrench in things Gibbs reminisces about what makes Y/N so different.

TW: mentions of miscarriage, family death and domestic violence

Italics are flashbacks

————————-

Hollis Mann had come to help NCIS on a case of a missing Army luitenent and a missing marine gunnery Sargent. Y/N was also at NCIS from the FBI, helping profile suspects. This made for an interesting situation for Gibbs. Hollis his ex and Y/N his current girlfriend. It wasn’t uncommon for Y/N to work cases with Gibbs’ team, but she had yet to work one that envolved an ex. A streak he wasn’t too thrilled to have end.

Things were pretty civil, y/n knew he dated someone from Army CID, but didn’t remember her name right away. when Y/N arrived the team was in the squad room, working at their desks, she came and sat in Gibbs chair, asking what they had. When noone warned her of the impending doom of that decision , Hollis knew this woman and Gibbs were dating. She couldn’t help but be jealous. This jealousy only multiplied when she saw y/n kiss Gibbs cheek later that day when she thought no one was looking.

With the way Mann was acting, and a few comments from Tony, Y/N quickly put two and two together and realized that Hollis was THAT lieutenant colonel. Y/N was nothing but nice, not petty and jealous the way Hollis felt. Gibbs wasn’t nervous for their relationship, things were good with him and Y/N. He just wasn’t sure how Hollis would act. He knew y/N could handle herself though, so there wasn’t much to worry about.

Overall, things went pretty smoothly, that is until Hollis ‘let something slip’ about Shannon and Kelly, and clearly made a big deal out of ‘apologizing’ and assuming y/n didn’t know.

Gibbs was pissed because he could tell her intentions were to hurt Y/N. She was hurt when she found out during a cause, so she must have thought she could do the same to his current girlfriend. Gibbs wanted to tell her off, not because she messed up his relationship, or hurt Y/N, but because it was her intention to.

Y/N caught up with Jethto when he stormed out of the room after DiNozzo quickly changed the subject back to the case.

“Relax baby.” She said as she caught him by the steps, using the nickname she knew he secretly loved.

“She did that to hurt you.” He seethed, and Y/N slyly took his hand on the side where the team couldn’t see.

“But I’m not hurt.” She assured him. “You’re a catch J, I’m sure it’s not easy to get over you.”

“You think so?” He smirked at her, and she felt the tension leave his body.

“Mhm, but I really don’t plan on finding out anytime soon.” She smiled and settled for running her thumb over his fingers since she couldn’t kiss him and he squeezed her hand in understanding.

“Good to know.” He smirked. ”now get back to profiling and I’ll check in with Abby.

“Yes sir” she smiled and looked around before kissed his cheek quickly and heading back to the bull pen.

On the way down to abby’s lab he begins to think about the beginning of their relationship and how he and Y/N came to be.

Y/N and Gibbs had Worked together a few times, they had made a habit of going to get dinner after cases wrapped.

It felt like they were on the same page feelings wise but she was never sure. One night she got up her courage to bring it up.

“Gibbs,”

“Hmm”

“Are we on a date?”

He Smirked at her and took her hand

“Was kinda hoping you’d catch on.”

“Could of just asked” she smiled back. He rolled his eyes playfully and asked

“Y/N will you go on a date with me?”

“Sure how’s right now?” She giggled.

Before he could get to the lab Hollis caught him and pulled him into a near by conference room.

“I didn’t mean to mess things up by telling Y/N about Shannon and Kelly.” He could tell she was trying really hard to mean it, but wouldn’t truly be wracked with guilt if she had messed things up.

“She already knew Holl.” He admitted, trying to remember what y/n said about not being angry with her.

“You told her?” She questions surprised.

He sighed and nodded. This was not a conversation he wanted to have today.

“What’s so different about her?” She asked,

“Hollis.” He responded.

He could never answer that question simply. Truthfully, everything was different about her. She was just Y/N, his Y/N.

“I’m sorry, I guess I just never thought someone would crack you.” She smiled.

“Yeah well.” He smiled back, thinking of Y/N.

She would say she didn’t crack him, she just speaks Gibbs, or something silly like that. She never wanted him to feel like she was changing him.

“You love her” she said shocked.

“Hollis” he warned again.

“Have you told her?”

“She knows” he grunted.

“Yeah but have you told her.”

“Hollis”

“Tell her Gibbs” she said and he was thinking of a comeback when there was a knock on the door. Y/N poked her head in the room.

“Hey, I’m sorry to interrupt, but the director needs you in MTAC Gibbs” He didn’t know how she knew where they were, but god was he glad she did.

In the elevator Gibbs thought about why it’s so easy to trust and love Y/N. He thought back to the first time he told her about Shannon and kelly.

A few dates in she sensed he was struggling with something. It had been the anniversary of Shannon and Kelly’s deaths.

“J, I know you hate talking about things but,” she said carefully after dinner at his house.

“If you want to be my girlfriend then you are.” He grunted back taking her hand, assuming that’s where she was going.

“Oh!” She was shocked and had no idea what to say.

“You don’t want to be?”

“No, I do! I absolutely do” she corrected. “but that isn’t what I was going to bring up.”

“Oh then go on.” He chuckled.

“No we can talk about it another time, so I’m your girlfriend?” She smiled.

“Yup”

“Cool!”

“Cool?” He teased.

“Yeah cool!”

Gibbs chuckled and put an arm around her. “so what did you want to know?.”

“Another time-“ she started but was cut off by Gibbs.

“If it’s on your mind I wanna know”

“I-“

“Y/N” He insisted

“I’m a profiler”

“I know this” he said sarcastically.

“Right so I pick up on things and I pick up on things easiest when I have experienced the same type of thing.” She said and sighed at his raised eyebrow.

“English?”

She huffed a nervous laugh and continued.

“Okay I’ll just say it. I can tell you’ve suffered a big loss, probably family, a wife or a child. I know you probably don’t want to talk about it because you’ve been forthcoming about your ex wives and not ever about a loss so it’s clearly something personal.” She stopped and squeezed his hand. “And I hate talking about my loss, I also hate talking about my ex husband so you’re better at this communication thing than me.”

Gibbs scoffed “no one has ever told me that before.”

She smiled. “I just want you to know that however you process, however you grieve, I don’t want to change that. I just want you to know that I’m happy to be a part of it, lean on me like I want to lean on you. I won’t pry, or expect you to be over it, but if you loved them then they’re important to me.” She sighed again. “It just, felt wrong kind of knowing with out telling you. I know I don’t really know, just profiled but still.”

“My wife and daughter, they were killed. My wife saw a member of a drug cartel murder a man and was going to testify. Her protective detail was shot in the head while driving them and the crash killed them.” She breathed out and Gibbs winced waiting for the inevitable‘I’m sorry’ that he never knew what to do with but it never came. She just held his hand and nodded.

“I never tell anyone. They died, I shouldn’t dwell on it. But all my marriages failed because I wanted it back and I couldn’t let them go.”

She shook her head and nuzzled closer to him

“As much as we want to ignore it and hope the pain goes away, we still love them. That doesn’t mean we can’t love someone new, but that old love doesn’t just go away. I’d like to know more about them if you ever feel like sharing them with someone, but you don’t have to.”

He nodded and squeezed her hand then looked at her expectatntly. She noticed the tears in the corner of his eyes and was sure hers looked similar.

“My turn?”

Gibbs nodded.

“Ryan, my first husband. Killed on deployment a year into our marriage. I miscarried from the stress a few months later.” Gibbs pulled her closer into him wrapping his arms around her.

“He’d like you, you’re strong and protective, and you challenge me. He always said I needed someone challenging around to keep me honest.” She chuckled. “I- I didn’t want to date for the longest time after he died.. All my friends said I needed to move on, get out there again after a few years but I wasn’t ready so I picked people that would never work, people that were the exact opposite of him, of what I deserved. Then I married one of them. He ended up in jail, I ended up in the hospital.” Gibbs soft face turned to anger.

“Relax, he was killed in a prison fight 5 years ago.”

“Good” he said and she felt his body relax a bit.

“I stopped dating after that, until I met you.”

Gibbs smiled.

“The truth is, if you want to be in my life, Ryan’s part of it. Just like Shannon and Kelly are part of yours, and mine if you let me stick around. Which I’d like to”

He nodded And she readied herself for goodbye.

“Have any pictures?”

“Of Ryan?”

He nodded and she smiled.

“Yeah in my wallet, that mean you want me to stick around?

He nodded and she went to get her bag. She pulled out a picture and began to tell him about their first date, their lives, and why she thought Ryan would be happy that she was spending time with jethro.

Gibbs smiled and told her he’d be right back.

He returned with a box and pulled out an old scrap book that’s only ever seen the light of day when he’s particularly missing his family. He never thought he’d show someone else. But he also never thought he’d meet someone like Y/N.

“What’s this? She asked as he handed it to her.

“This is my turn.”

“Jethro.” She said as she opened it and realized it was pictures of Shannon and Kelly. She closed it again”we don’t have to.”

“I want to. They’d love you.”

She smiled and patted the spot next to her.

Back in the conference room, Y/N lingered with Hollis, knowing she needed to face her head on.

“He didn’t tell you about rule 6?” Hollis asked, still a bit of chill to her voice. Looking like she wasn’t quite ready to give up the hurt feeling just yet.

“He did, but I have rules of my own.” Y/N smiled trying to ease the tension.

“Is one of them not listening to his rules?”

She chuckled.

“Exactly.” She laughed “No I agree with some of them, but not the ones that go against the rules of being a civil human. It’s charming on him somehow... but it’s not a good look for me.”

She joked and eased a bit when Hollis smiled.

“Does that mean you’ll accept my apology?”

“I would, but there is no need for it.”

“There is, the way I acted was petty and uncalled for.” Hollis sighed, causing Y/N to nod.

“Maybe, but I understand.”

“Ugh why do you have to be likable?”

Y/N laughed with Hollis and relaxed a little. “Sorry, do you want me to say something mean? Or at least like scowl a little?”

“It would make me feel a little less guilty.” She smiled, but y/n could see the honesty in her eyes.

“Don’t feel guilty. I’m not running, I’m not upset. He’s a tough nut to crack. I get it. I didn’t know that he and you had history until your reaction, if I’d known I would have been more discreet, I never meant to rub your face in anything.” Y/N assured her

“You didn’t know?”

“Well I’d heard your name, you know tony.” The both huffed laughs “but jethro is, well you know.”

“That doesn’t upset you?” Hollis wondered

“Not really, I mean I’m a profiler so I have a leg up but he’ll tell me things when he’s ready.”

“You’re much more patient than me.”

“Not always, I just, I know what it’s like to lose someone and not know how to let them go.”

“Ah that’s how you’re different.”

“I’d like to think there’s other things he sees in me, but yes that’s a big difference.” She nodded.

“Hey, Y/N/N need your help. Hollis, DiNozzo has a statement to go over with you.”

They both nodded and followed Gibbs into the hall.

Gibbs pointed Hollis to the conference room where tony was.

“Hey come here” he led y/n to the elevator and paused it.

“Jethro what’s wrong?”

He grabbed her face and kissed her.

“There is way more I see in you.” He whispered against her lips.

“You heard me?”

“I did”

“Spy” she joked with a smile as she pulled him back in.

“You were too nice to her.” He grunted.

“I couldn’t be mean. I’d be bitter if I lost a man like you.”

“Mmm cause I’m such a good kisser?”

“Mhm among other things.”

“Yeah, I’m good at that too.”

“You’re a lot more than just good in bed Jethro.” Y/N said softly. “Not that you’re not excellent at that too.”

Gibbs laughed and kissed her head then looked seriously at Y/N.

“You know I care about you right?” Gibbs asked almost shyly. Y/N froze at his tone, she’d never heard him sound so insecure.

“Of course I do.” She cupped his face.

“Y/N love is a hard word for me-“

“Jethro, you don’t need to say it, I know how you feel. You show me every single day.” Y/N moved his face to look in her eyes.

“You deserve to hear it Y/N.” He huffed.

“What I deserve is to be loved and love. I think I have that Jethro.”

“You do.” He whispered and pulled her lips to his. “You do.”

“Good, now that that’s settled. Let’s go close this case huh?” He smiled at her words.

“Y/N” he said pulling her back from the switch. “I love you.” He said with confidence but she could tell it took everything he had to say it out loud.

She smiled as turned around, wrapping him in a hug. She hid her face against him. “I know you do baby. I love you too, So much!.”

He pulled her face up and looked into her eyes. all she could see was love as he leaned in to kiss her. She forgot where they were as he wrapped his arms around her and dipped his tongue in her mouth. He slowly pulled away and kissed her head.

“Okay, you ready now?”

“To go home? Yes.” She whispered, voice shakey from the kiss.

He smirked his classic Gibbs smirk and shook his head “to solve the case.”

“Oh that, yeah okay.” She said with a smile that he couldn’t help but love.

He knew she was it for him right then and there. He’d known for a while but never truly admitted it to himself. Yes he sucked at marriage and she didn’t have a great experience either. No matter what though, he knew she was it for him. He had only truly loved Shannon and Kelly before he met her, but he knew that both of them would have loved Y/N as much as he did and been proud of him for falling in love again.

@mac99martin @kittenlittle24 @viper-official @ilovemark1951 @theofficialzivadavid @averyhotchner @andreasworlsboring101 @diesinspanishbcimhispanic

[0risha]

“AWAKE.”

» PAIRING : atsumu x fem!reader

» SUMMARY : atsumu, who’s nothing like his chef brother fails at making yakitori. 

» TAGS : fluff, reader has box braids....

NOTES : this has been marinating in my drafts for weeks now but yeah... here ya go. hope you enjoy!

When your eyelids tense and the rays of the sun peek out from the blinds of your bedroom, the indulging scent of yakitori causes a surge of happiness to shoot through your veins. A dopey smile is plastered on your face as you remove your bonnet from your head, braids sitting messily atop your shoulders. 

Who wouldn't like to wake up to grilled chicken? 

Unfortunately, your indulgence is short-lived because a thought hits you square in the chest.

Atsumu can't cook.

And as soon as your thoughts transition so does the scent of chicken. Your nose scrunches up from the faint, acrid smell of burning meat.

“Atsumu freaking Miya!” You shout, hastily pulling the sheet from your body and springing up from the soft mattress. Your bare feet pad urgently along with the cool tile of the hallway. You get no answer but you enter the kitchen to find a complete, utter mess.

The gallon of soy sauce you had recently bought was less than half empty. You weren’t an expert at cooking yakitori but you didn’t need that much? Your eyes widen after catching sight of the empty bottle of your very expensive mirin sweet rice wine. Hands twitching by your sides as you follow a trail of what seems to be brown sugar to the sliding patio door that leads to your backyard. 

Out of anger, you slide the door open, voice readied to yell at Atsumu till your throat was hoarse, and send him on a shopping spree to the farthest and most expensive food market. But you’re instead met with a head of bright orange. All the anger dissipates from your body as it’s displaced with confusion. 

“Eh, who are you?” You study his wide-eyed expression which looks equally as confused as yours. 

“Oh, hello. I’m Shoyo!” He smiles and your tempted to shield your eyes in term of how bright it is. Familiar name, familiar face...

“Y-y/n!” You swivel to see Atsumu standing in front of a smoking grill. Your eyes flit from his to see two other figures also surrounding the grill. 

“And what exactly do you think you’re doing?” you ask, stepping away from Shoyo. The burning smell getting stronger and stronger.

"Making yakitori!" he says enthusiastically. Trying his best to coax you out of anger. He had good intentions, wanting to surprise you with one of your favorite foods on a day that you decided to sleep in. You had been working really hard lately but he had let it slip while on the phone with Bokuto —he had an annoying habit in which he talked about you at the most unreasonable times— and so, Bokuto had mistaken him for a good cook just because his brother was.

"Putting that aside." You grit, giving him a glare that sends a shiver down his spine. "Who are they?" you whisper, trying to be considerate but you fail miserably because you're one hundred percent sure that they all had heard you.

"My teammates," he deadpans. You pout and turn bashfully. In all honesty, you never really paid attention to the rest of the Jackals, only him.

"I uh- I knew they looked familiar," you humph and Atsumu raises an eyebrow in skepticism.

"Whatever," you turn the situation around. "Thought we promised that you wouldn't try to cook. " You move to the grill to see more than a dozen charred pieces of meat.

Your eye twitches in frustration. "Were you all standing in front of the grill the entire time?" you question and they all innocently nod. "Then how the...?" You squint, rubbing the middle of your forehead as you feel the approaching signs of a headache.

"Well, in all honesty, I tried to tell him it was on the verge of burning but he didn’t listen.” You turn to the sound of a muffled voice.

Okay, you recognized him. Atsumu had mentioned a curly-haired spiker that wore masks ninety percent of the time and hated uncleanliness. 

“You’re not serious,” you grunt. Grabbing the pair of tongs from Atsumu’s hand and moving the charred meat to a paper plate. “Where are the scallions?”

“I’m not supposed to put it on after?”

“Y—” you try. “You don’t read recipes?” You grab a bowl of uncooked chicken from the backyard table. “You don’t have a chef brother?” 

“Didn’t wanna ask him,” Atsumu whines, towering over your figure as he watches you put the chicken on a skewer.

“So instead of making a simple phone call, you decided to waste all of my food?” 

“Not a waste, It’s simple trial and error.” You whip around to stare at him with a bewildered look. 

“Don’t look at me like that! I’ll learn eventually.”

“This was your first and last chance,” You declare.

“Hey.. uh—Shoyo?” A head of orange turns to you. “Can you get me eight scallions, they’re in the basket on the kitchen counter.”

“Okay!” He dashes to the patio door.

“And...” 

“Sakusa.”

“Sakusa, can you grab the jar of ginger and garlic paste in the right upper cupboard?”

“Why?”

“It’s your fault for letting him burn the chicken,” you chide. His eyebrows furrow at that. 

"It's not, but fine.” When he walks away you hear something alongside the words, I hope your kitchen is clean.

“Wait! Wait! What about me?” You turn to a figure with silver spiky hair, his large yellow eyes peering at you. He’s adorable.

“Just uh... you see that table.” You point. “Just set them up for me.” He immediately scrambles to do just that.

“So...” Atsumu looks down at you, his dirty blonde hair shadowing his forehead. “Do you not love me anymore?”

“Who said that?” you whisper. 

“I know that look,” he says with a humph. 

“What look?” You furrow your eyebrows. “That look you get when you see something adorable.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” You maneuver your way around him to grab the scallions Shoyo brings to you, giving him a smile in thanks. From the corner of your eye, you see Atsumu clutch his chest, feigning hurt. You roll your eyes at his antics. 

“I’ll love you even more if you go make drinks.” 

“Of course! Anything for my—” He stops when he sees your attention is no longer on him. Only focused on the jar of paste Sakusa hands to you. His lip downturns as he walks towards the patio door and closes it as he enters. 

“Is he okay?” Sakusa asks, brows furrowed as he stares, dumbfounded. 

“Is who ok—” Your voice trails off as you see Atsumu, his head leaning against the patio door as he shakes his head with a somber expression. 

You cover your mouth with your hand as you try your best to stifle your laughter. Atsumu turns to you, shakes his head once more, and walks away from view. 

“Sakusa.” You turn. “Do you know how to make yakitori?” He nods with a slight scowl. Though, you’re sure it’s just how his face normally is. 

“Can you, you know….” You trail off, waving to the skewered chicken. “I already did everything you just have to grill them.” He nods again and takes his place in front of the grill.

“Thank you!” You wave. Turning to walk towards the patio door, and enter the kitchen. You see Atsumu perk up while he scrummages through the refrigerator. But he doesn’t say a thing. 

“What are you making?” You take a seat on the cool counter. 

“Lemonade,” he grumbles, a pout on his lips as he places a lemon in a lemon juicer. Your eyes zoom in on his arms. Catching on, he turns away from you. 

“Wha—are you mad at me?” You huff, arms crossed. A beat of silence passes by. “I’ll help you if you talk to me.” Another beat of silence. 

“You don’t want my help?” You sniffle, a cloud of gloom clouding you. 

“W-wait I never said that.” Atsumu scrambles towards you to grasp your shoulders in consolation. “I-’m sorry, I just—" He blinks when he sees you stifling a giggle. 

“Now, that I finally have your attention.” He turns away from you but you wrap your arms around his neck. “I apologize for being mean to you this morning.” He hums with a nod.

“Although, you kinda deserved it.” You detach yourself from his embrace. But before you can back away, Atsumu grabs your jaw to pull you into a kiss. 

“Wait!” You back away. “I didn’t even brush my teeth!” You sputter out, his offended expression turning into one with understanding. 

“Oh, yeah. Go do that.” You roll your eyes and punch him in the shoulder. “Shut up.”

“Don’t think you're off the hook, we’re going to the food market today.” You trudge up the stairs.

“The close one, right?”

“No.”

“Wait why— that cashier lady always looks at me like she’s in love with me!” He runs after you. 

You turn towards him. “It’s your fault for being so hot, you know.” You pat his head. Though, you regret it when his brown eyes shimmer. “Do you really mean that?” He rubs the back of his neck and shuffles back and forth. “Well, if you put it like that, I’ll go everywhere you go.” He confesses, bashfully. 

With a sigh, you close the bathroom door on his face.

back to m.list

[little-mouse-adventures]

4 and 10 and 18 for the fic writer asks please :D

4) Number of 'wips' that are just totally never getting written, let's face it?

Uhhh....atm, like, 4? Oh, wait, no, better make that 5. Maybe 6 if I theoretically split the one almost wip into two things instead of one sort of connected thing....Anyways. I tend to try to limit the wild travelings of my mind to only a few scenarios in the hopes that I will, eventually, write them.

10) If your favourite author found your fics, how loudly would you scream in horror (in decibels)?

98 decibles (roughly the sound of a motorcycle). It would be very loud. And followed by either horrified shock or raucous laughter, depending on which fic they found first.

18) Provide a summary of the hellscape that is your creative process from idea to publish?

Oh God. Ok.

1 - Think of idea. ruminate on it for at least a week, possibly more. really let it marinate. wander about the house smiling as I add more scenes and dialogue in my head like I am adding spices to a slowly-simmering soup broth.

2- Tell my dearest darlingest friend @zahnie that I have a new idea and have her offer incredible amounts of encouragement to write it despite me swearing and going off about how I don't have time and what about all the other ideas, etc. etc.

3 - Eventually get over my weird self-consciousness and imposter syndrome and "oh god I am so cringe" thoughts and actually put words into a Word document, or perhaps a draft email. This occasionally happens during work hours, or while I am commuting. Usually it is when I have the house to myself for several uninterrupted hours.

4- Self doubt time, baby! leave the fic unfinished in drafts for - *checks last updated date in my file explorer* - several months to a year. Maybe several years if we want to get particular about some of the stuff I posted on a whim on AO3.

5 - Repeat step 3, but this time on one of the older fics from step 4.

6 - I suppose eventually publish, because I tend to edit while I write so don't need a separate step for that, but uh...yeah multi-chapter fics are all about 0% - 50% complete, so I haven't actually gotten to this step on them yet. Shorter things I eventually say "fuck it" and publish as they are at that point in time.