#oh yeah the song i’ve been playing on repeat lately is ‘to the bone’ by uhhh
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#‘asian americans are self hating and will never be accepted by their own people or the whites and that’s why they’re all miserable’#‘ok sure that’s certainly an opinion to have’#‘no it’s true and you can’t deny it. in trying to carve out their own bastardized ‘identities’#they reject their own cultures; it’s so disgusting i just hate it’#they live there tf u want them to do?? delete culture transmute phenotype and magically become one with the white man?#swim back across the oceans to live in their ‘rightful place’ where we filthy dog-eating chinks all belong??#hell yeahhh ethnostate ftwwww#why does there have to be a right way to be why all the hate and anger when folks just be Living#the asian americans are doing just fine last i checked 🤣🤣#it’s just a different experience why is theirs less correct than yours#FRUSTRATED AND ANGRY#i had no class today cuz prof had an urgent family issue#just been doing chores at home#i really hope it doesn’t rain i got clothes drying outside#i can hear thunder 😕😕#i want a cold drink#oh yeah the song i’ve been playing on repeat lately is ‘to the bone’ by uhhh#pamungkas i’ll put the link above#if tumblr eats my tags again i’ll begin killing#Spotify
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Playlist-Chapter 4: Woman in Chains (90s Noel Gallagher X Reader)
Pairing: 90s Noel Gallagher X Reader
Warnings: Domestic violence (yes, Y/N again being beaten up by Kenneth, but it's the end of it I promise. Don't forget the rule, if you suspect anyone or you are being a victim of domestic violence, call the number in your country. This is really important lovies), mild fluff, language, maybe a few spelling mistakes.
Words: 1992 (oh just like the year, I didn't do it on purpose I swear !)
Summary: It's 1992 and you are going to Oasis rehearsals. Kenneth is still your boyfriend and is still a bastard. Soon, something happens, and this will change your way of living.
A/N: Heya, I'm back ! This chapter is still hard to read so hold tight ! But I promise this is the end of the torture. As I said in the warnings, follow the rules concerning domestic violence, I beg you. Helping each other these days is very important. I also wanted to inform you that I now have a job so Instead of saturdays, I will now publish our daily fanfic on sundays ! I'll try my best to start rewriting one-shots again and publishing them on wednesdays like before. Hope you'll like this chapter anyway !
Enjoy !
“Well I feel Deep in your heart there are wounds time can't heal And I feel Somebody somewhere is trying to breathe Well you know what I mean It's a world gone crazy Keeps woman in chains
It's under my skin but out of my hands I'll tear it apart but I won't understand I will not accept the greatness of man
It's a world gone crazy Keeps a woman in chains Gone crazy, keeps woman in chains
So free her”
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March 1992:
I didn’t know how to escape Kenneth. I still didn’t have the courage to leave him.
But I decided to rebel a little bit.
My boss and I got on quite well for him to change my working hours. I started an hour earlier and finished an hour earlier. I didn’t tell Kenneth.
So, on the first day it happened, I went to see Oasis rehearsing. Noel was now their guitarist. He had dreamt so much of being in a band. I was so happy for him, and I was their N°1 fan. Or more like number 2. Mamas always are the first.
With them, I could be myself. Who I really was inside. And I’ve seen such good times and unforgettable ones. Like when Noel wrote Live Forever.
He was strumming his guitar, thoughtful, calm and quiet as he always had been.
Still haven’t found any lyrics? I asked
Hmm? He answered, raising his head
You’ve been playing this melody for years, so I’m surprised you still haven’t found any words to put on this song. I always thought it sounded beautiful.
Really?
Yeah, I mean it Noely.
Well thanks! And I started writing some stuff.
Show me.
He handed me a piece of paper, full of erasures made with a pen.
“Maybe I don't really wanna know How your garden grows 'Cause I just wanna fly Lately, did you ever feel the pain In the morning rain As it soaks you to the bone?
Maybe I just wanna fly Wanna live, I don't wanna die Maybe I just wanna breathe Maybe I just don't believe Maybe you're the same as me We see things they'll never see You and I are gonna live forever” Noely, this is brilliant!
Ye mean it?
I always do! You should pursue!
Well I already thought about repeating the verse and changing the second chorus.
And how is it going?
It goes like “maybe I will never be, everything I want to be, this isn’t the time to be sad, it’s mainly time to find out why, you are the same as me, you see things they’ll never see, you and I are gonna live forever”.
Not bad…
But?
But I think there are some lyrics to change here.
I know, I’m not done writing it.
A silence settled in, Noel hummed the melody looking for inspiration.
Teach me how you play it. I never asked but I always wanted to know what it is like to play your guitar.
Yeah sure! Come here.
I approached him and he handed me his guitar.
Careful, ye know this guitar…
Is like your wife, I know.
Noel chuckled.
Okay so put your fingers here. He said, putting his hand on mine to guide them.
Okay, got it.
And now use your other hand and strum.
I did
Ouch it hurts!
This is normal when ye’ve never played guitar before. Your fingers aren’t protected like mine. Go on, strum again.
I did again and the sound rang in the room.
Hey, not bad! he said
Thanks!
Ye’ve always been a quick learner.
Teach me the rest.
He did and soon I was playing the chords like him.
Okay stop torturing your fingers now or ye’re gonna bleed. That’s a good start anyway, one day ye’ll steal my job! He said laughing
I turned my head to face him. Our lips were so close to each other that we almost kissed. And this tension… my heart beating so fast… And his, that I could hear was beating as fast as mine… and his hand on mine, not moving…
I still loved Noel, but did he?
It was intense. It was, until we heard someone enter the room without knocking and had seen us.
Oh Kenny, hey! Noel was teaching me how to play a song on his guitar !
I knew I’d find ye here. Why weren’t ye at yer workplace?
Oh, just finished earlier today!
And why didn’t ye tell me?
I-I just…
Hello Kenneth. Noel said dryly
Y/N, we’re leaving. Now.
Oh I would regret not coming home right after work or not waiting him on spot…
I’m soz Noel… I said, fear on my face
Hey, don’t be. Ye can come here when ye want to!
I left the room and crossed Liam’s path.
Already leaving us? He asked
Yeah, I feel a bit tired.
Y/N. Kenneth said impatiently
Don’t hesitate to come here when ye want. It’s good havin’ ye here.
I hugged him and he saw them. The bruises on my shoulders. But he was high, so he wasn’t sure what he saw was right. Still, I saw it made him upset.
I left without talking and got in the car with Kenneth, not really knowing where it would get me.
*
When Kenneth and I arrived home, he locked the front door behind him.
I ran in my bedroom, knowing what was waiting for me, but forgot to lock the door.
Kenneth came in, enraged.
Did ye have fun?
Yeah, actually I did. I dared to answer dryly
He came to me and grabbed my hair, forcing me to follow his lead.
Don’t ye dare answering me like this ye fucking whore!
Kenny, you’re hurting me!
Kenneth slapped me, causing me to fall on my knees.
What were ye fucking doing with Noel ? He yelled
I started crying.
Nothing!
A punch in the face.
Don’t ye lie to me ye slut!
I swear!
Then a kick in the guts.
Yer fucking lying!
I was now in a foetal position, hurt and crying, holding my belly. I knew what Noel had felt all these years.
But Kenneth had no mercy. He kept kicking me until I fainted, before locking me in the room.
The beginning of another nightmare had started.
*
1 month later:
Noel was worried. He didn’t stop calling but I never answered. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I couldn’t.
Since that day when he witnessed the scene with Noel, I was locked in the bedroom, tied to the foot of the bed, with a bottle of water next to me, the shutters closed, and I hadn’t been able to wash for a whole month.
I was allowed one meal a day, no contact with the outside world except when my parents called, calls that always were monitored by Kenneth in case I said something. Every night, I was Kenneth’s punching bag.
He would hit me, punch me, kick me until I passed out. I was so weak that I didn’t fight back, I didn’t have the strength to.
But Noel suspected something, and not only because of Liam’s words. He had told him that he thought he saw bruises on my shoulder but wasn’t sure because he was high. So Noel decided he would come and check by himself.
He knocked at the door but nobody heard, I already passed out and Kenneth was too busy torturing me.
I felt this night was the night. My mind and my body were letting go. I was dying.
Kenneth didn’t even know that he was killing me. I tried to hard to survive but as nobody came to save me, there was no point in surviving anymore.
Noel came in without being invited, and as he was about to ask if anybody was home, he heard Kenneth’s groans.
He followed the noise and he saw me lying on the ground, bleeding, Kenneth kicking me.
He immediately reacted, entering the room and grabbed Kenneth from behind, trying to control him.
I fucking knew it! What d’ye think yer doing ye fucking trashcan?!
Kenneth was trying to fight back but couldn’t, Noel almost strangling him.
She’s mine! mine only! He yelled
Noel let go of him and punched him.
She belongs to no one but herself!
They started fighting while I was slowly dying on the floor. I opened my eyes a second and saw them and let myself go right after.
Kenneth finally collapsed on the floor, fainting.
And Noel understood something when he saw that my clothes were torn. I had been here and a victim of his kicks for a long time.
He kneeled in front of my now lifeless body, and untied me, trying to bring me back to life. I had stopped breathing only a few seconds before.
Noel did CPR and mouth to mouth so I could come back to him.
When he felt I was breathing again, he took my fainted body in his arms and called an ambulance.
*
I opened my eyes the day after, sore all over, my right wrist in a splint, because being tied up and beaten had caused me to dislocate it, bruises everywhere, a black eye, an IV hydrating and nourishing me, a blood bag giving me back the blood I’d lost, and Noel, his head lying next to my body, holding my hand.
He might have fallen over from exhaustion.
I didn’t even know what happened, how long him and I were there or why.
I understood it when I felt I couldn’t move. It hurt everywhere. My voice was broken, but I tried sto speak. The thing is, only a whisper managed to come out of my mouth.
Noel…
He didn’t hear me.
I tried to move my hand but couldn’t.
So I was forced to move my body and I cried out in pain.
This time, it woke him up.
Don’t mov, stay calm. He said, panicking
What happened? Why am I here?
It’s okay yer safe now. I think ye know what happened. The doctor said that ye almost died. He had been beating ye for like a whole month. I arrived just in time. Yer body is… pretty damaged but ye will heal. I promise. I’ll take care of ye. I f ye accept it of course. I… I have an apartment here now. Ye won’t have to come back to him Y/N. Ye can live with me. I can promise ye ye’ll be safe with me. Ye know I’ll never raise a hand on ye. Please ye have to trust me. He said, still panicking
Noely, calm down. You know I trust you. You saved me. All I want is to be away from him. And I know you will never raise a hand on me or summat. Plus, I have nowhere to go, I don’t want my parents to see me like this. You… You haven’t told them, right? I whispered
No. I know yer dad would kill him and end in prison if I did. I didn’t kill him Y/N. I could have and I wanted to but… who would have looked after ye ?
Liam?
Noel looked at me to see if I was serious when saying this and he started laughing while I tried to smile the best I could.
Ye never stop, do ye?
Not while I’m still alive.
Tears threatened to spill from his eyes, and he kissed me on the forehead.
Please then, stay alive.
#noel gallagher smut#noel gallagher fanfic#noel gallagher x reader#noel gallagher fluff#liam and noel#noel gallagher oneshot#noel gallagher#oasis#oasis band#Spotify
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Summary: Based on the song “Mary’s Song” by Taylor Swift
Masterlist
•••
She said I was seven and you were nine, I looked at you like the stars that shined, In the sky, the pretty lights
“Draco! Hurry up will ya! Your parents are gonna wake up and realize that we’re out of bed before we even get outside and my parents won’t allow me to sleep over again if they found out!” Y/N whisper-shouted as she pulled Draco to the gardens
The garden is their favorite place to stay at because they get to see the stars clearly at night
“Wow” Y/N said as she and Draco plop down on the grass, looking at the stars
“Oh come on Y/N, don’t tell me that you’re surprised to see the stars when we literally go here every single night” Draco chuckled
“Oh shuddup….I know that we go here every night but….. I just can’t help but admire them every single time…I mean, look at them! Don’t you think they’re pretty” Y/N said with admiration lacing her tone, not looking away from the night sky
Draco got lost in thought before saying,
“You’re right…..but I think the word for it should be Stunning”
Unbeknownst to Y/N, Draco was looking at her when he said that
And our daddies used to joke about the two of us growing up and falling in love and our mamas smiled and rolled their eyes
Draco and Y/N were playing in the living room of Malfoy Manor when their parents came in to watch
“I wouldn’t even be surprised if Y/N and Draco were to date each other in the future” Lucius said, making the two kids in the room blush at the statement
“Oh Lucius! Don’t be like that” Mr. Y/L/N laughed at the two kids before continuing,
“But! You do make a good point there Lucius. Oh! Do you think we should start the wedding planning” Y/N’s father joked
“Oh yes! We should!” Lucius said
And as if they have some sort of telepathic powers, Lucius and Mr. Y/L/N suddenly exclaimed together,
“We should have it at the DI-”
“FATHER!!!!!!”
The children in the room cut them off and yelled at their father, who are now in a fit of laughter
In the kitchen, Narcissa and Mrs. Y/L/N heard the entire conversation going on in the living room and rolled their eyes, a smile plastered on their faces
I dared you to kiss me and ran when you tried, just two kids, You and I
It was Y/N’s third year and Draco’s fifth year at Hogwarts, they’re both sorted into Slytherin and now their friendship became stronger than ever
So here they are in the common room, cuddled up together, Draco was ranting something about Potter and the rest of the golden trio until the topic switched into their childhood memories
“Hey! Remember when you dared me to kiss you and you ran when I tried” Draco chuckled
“Oh yeah! I remember that” Y/N laughed before adding,
“The only thing on my mind that day was that I had to run away before I kiss an ugly git like you”
“Why you little-”
Y/N removed herself from him and started to run outside of the common room with Draco chasing after her. Both of them bumping into Blaise as they ran outside of the common room, chasing each other throughout the castle
“HEY! YOU TWO! SLOW DOWN AND WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING!” Blaise yelled after his two best friends, still upset at them for bumping into him
He looked outside to check if they heard what he said but instead saw his best friends still chasing and laughing at each other throughout the castle, not hearing a word he just said and ignoring the looks of the students from different houses
Blaise smiled at the sight, forgetting he was upset at them in the process
“Those two need to date….One day they’ll both realize they love each other” Blaise said to nobody in particular as he finally headed inside the common room
Well, I was sixteen when suddenly, I wasn’t that girl you used to see but your eyes still shined like pretty lights
Y/N was in her fifth year and Draco in his seventh when all of it happened
Draco avoided Y/N for three days straight and she had no idea of what she did wrong. Y/N asked Blaise about Draco’s strange behavior but he also had no idea about what happened. She tried to approach him but he just kept pushing her away and made up excuses of why he was so busy. One day, Y/N had enough.
Draco is walking in the halls headed to Potions class when Y/N, out of nowhere, suddenly grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into an old empty classroom despite his protests
“Y/N I need to get to class” Draco turned to walk away but she suddenly grabbed his wrist, stopping him
“NO! We need to talk and plus you’re Snape’s favorite student so you’ll probably get out of trouble for not attending his class for once…………
Look Draco……you’ve been avoiding and pushing me away lately a-and I don’t have any idea of what I’ve done w-wrong and I’m thinking t-that y-you probably hate me a-and-” She was cut off by her own sobs
Draco’s eyes widened at her crying form and pulled her into a tight hug. Draco was hurt at her own words. He was hurt that she actually thinks he hated her and immediately regretted his actions for the past three days. If there’s one thing he hated besides the golden trio, it’s seeing her cry.
“Look Y/N…you didn’t do anything wrong and I’m so sorry for pushing you away and avoiding you…I didn’t mean to make you feel this way….and please don’t ever think that I could hate you”
“Then why did you do it. Why did you avoid and pushed me away at any chance you got”
It’s now or never, Draco thought
“Because I love you more than a friend”
“W-what?”
He loves me?, Y/N thought
“Then why did you avoid me?”
“Because I’m scared Y/N….I’m scared that you’ll reject me and everything will just get weird between us and we’ll stop being friends and I would rather have you as just a friend than lose you for good” Draco sighed
“Look Y/N I know you don’t feel the same so let’s just move on and forget thus ever happe—”
Draco was cut off by Y/N's lips smashing against his. Their lips molded and moved in sync with each other. It was a passionate kiss filled with the love they have for each other. After a while they finally broke apart, breathing heavily as their foreheads touched. Y/N's eyes were closed and when she finally opened them, she was met by the most beautiful pair of eyes she had ever seen. They both smiled widely.
“I love you too you idiot” Y/N said and pecked Draco on the lips
Take me back to the time we had our very first fight the slamming of doors instead of kissing goodnight you stayed outside till the morning light
Y/N was eating dinner at the great hall when a paper landed on her lap. She examined the paper with neat and elegant writing, it was a note from Draco.
“Meet me in the astronomy tower—D”
Y/N felt excited and wanted to immediately finish her dinner. With one last gulp of her pumpkin juice, she stood up from her seat and made her way to the astronomy tower. As she got closer to the astronomy tower, she heard voices. The voices were familiar…one of them was Draco and the other one was….Pansy!? She decided to hide behind a pillar, she couldn’t hear the conversation so she decided to take a peek at them. The moment she looked, she felt herself crying.
It was Pansy and Draco kissing.
“Dra- Draco?” Y/N said with tears in her eyes
Draco pushed Pansy away and his eyes widened at Y/N
“Babe! This isn’t what it looks like”
“Ho-how could you Draco. I trusted you!” Y/N ran to her dorm ignoring Draco’s calls
“Finally, I thought she’d never leave us. Come on Draco we can always go back to my dorm” Pansy said, clinging on Draco’s arm, with a flirty smile on her face
“Shove off Pansy! How many times do I have to repeat myself to get the message through your thick skull!! I DON’T LIKE YOU!! NEVER HAVE AND NEVER WILL!! You ruined everything with me and Y/N”
“But…but the kiss—”
“I DIDN’T KISS YOU PARKINSON! YOU SAID YOU NEEDED HELP WITH POTIONS BUT THEN YOU BLOODY KISSED ME!! NOW STAY OUT OF MY LIFE” Draco said angrily, ignoring Pansy’s cries and begging for him to stay
Draco ran as fast as he could so he could talk to her. He saw her took a turn in the hallway and followed. He grabbed her wrist tightly, stopping her in her tracks.
“Y/N baby! I’m sorry please let me explain!”
“There’s nothing to explain Malfoy” She removed herself from him and ran to her dorm, Draco shouting her name as he followed her
Before Draco could reach her, she slammed the door of her dorm.
“Baby please let me in! I’m really sorry for what you saw but it’s not what it looks like” Draco pleaded, but no answer came
“Baby please” Draco tried again but still no answer
“I love you”
Y/N woke up to the sun hitting her face. She felt sick from all the crying she did last night. Luckily, it’s a Saturday so she don’t have any classes. She thought of Draco but decided to brush it off her mind and go to the great hall. She took a shower and changed in a new set of clothes. When she opened the door of her room, she saw something she didn’t expect. A sleeping Draco was found outside her dorm, his face was pale and his eyes were puffy, probably from crying. Draco woke up to the sound of the door and immediately stood up.
“Y/N”
Y/N tried getting away but Draco stopped her
“Y/N please let me explain”
“What’s there to explain! Are you gonna tell me that you aren’t kissing Parkinson! I saw you Draco! So get out of my way” She tried getting away again but to no avail, Draco stopped her again
“Baby I admit it. You saw it. But I didn’t kiss her. She kissed me! I was about to push her away but then you came and then ran and to make sure you believe me I’m gonna drink this Verisaterum potion I got from Snape”
Before she could even protest, Draco gulped the potion and started saying everything that happened. He told her about Pansy asking for help in Potions and then suddenly kissing him. After Draco explained, Y/N engulfed him in a bone-crushing hug.
“Thanks for telling me this Dray and I’m sorry for not giving you a chance to explain last night”
“It’s okay baby. You had every right to react like that when you saw us. I love you” and with that, they kissed
A few years had gone and come around We were sitting at our favorite spot in town And you looked at me, got down on one knee
It’s been a year since they graduated Hogwarts and it had been an amazing journey. She kind of missed school from time to time but she is still happy. Y/N was currently in a park, sitting under a large tree. The park was a secret place and nobody knew of its existence, it was charmed to be hidden from others. On her right was her boyfriend Draco, who was playing with the Malfoy ring on his finger and you swore he looked kind of… .nervous?
“Dray are you alright?”
“Huh? Um yeah everything’s good why would even ask me that?” Draco stood up from his position and looked anywhere but Y/N's eyes. Y/N stood up as well and grabbed his arm, rubbing it soothingly.
“Oh nothing it’s just… you look like something’s bothering you and I just wanna know” Draco sighed and cupped her face in his hands
Welp… Here goes nothing
“Y/N, aside from my mother, you are the most important person in my life. You have always been there for me during hard times and stayed with me even if I was a complete arse to everyone. When we were young, we would always sneak out to the garden to gaze at stars and you would always be amazed by its beauty. And you know what , you Y/N Y/L/N are my star. You gave meaning and color to my life and I never regretted the decision to ask you to be my girlfriend years ago. So here I am about to ask you a very important question…” Draco removed his hands from Y/N's face and knelt down in front of her. Y/N gasped clamped her hand in her mouth.
“Y/N Y/L/N, you have been my best friend and even better…my girlfriend for years and I am sure that I want to spend the rest of my life with you…so here’s the question…Will you marry me?” Draco said as he pulled out a velvet box with a gorgeous emerald ring inside of it
“YES!” Y/N squealed with happy tears in her eyes. Draco put the ring on her finger and stood up and kissed her. Both of them enjoying the moment.
Take me back to the time when we walked down the aisle Our whole town came and our mamas cried You said I do and I did too
This is it. THE BIG DAY! Draco was in front tapping his feet nervously when the large doors opened. The doors revealed Y/N in a beautiful wedding dress. Draco’s jaw dropped at the sight of her and instantly relaxed. She looked absolutely stunning. Y/N was escorted to Draco by her father and took a seat next to Mrs. Y/L/N, next to her was Narcissa and Lucius. Both women were crying hard, holding on to each other, happy that their children are finally getting married.
After the I do's the wedding was coming to an end
“You may now kiss the bride”
Draco wasted no time in kissing his wife. Y/N Malfoy
Take me home where we met so many years before We'll rock our babies on that very front porch After all this time, you and I
Y/N woke up from a nap and realized that her 5 month old son Scorpius was nowhere to be found. She started to panic and tried calling her husband
“DRACO! WHERE ARE YOU SCORPIUS ISN’T HERE”
She tried looking for them in every room of the mansion the Lucius and Narcissa bought as a wedding gift. She then decided to go to the garden.
“DRACO!”
“DRA—”
“Shhh keep it down love you don’t wanna wake little Scorpius up” It was Draco, with a sleeping Scorpius in his arms
“Oh sorry. I kinda panicked when Scorpius was gone. What happened anyways”
“Oh! I just got back from the ministry and found you asleep with Scorpius. It was really cute actually. I decided to not wake you up and went to my office to check some files instead. But then Scorpius cried and I decided to take him here so he won’t wake you up”
Hearing this, Y/N swore she felt her heart melt. She kissed him briefly on the lips and hugged him from behind as they rocked Scorpius.
I’ll be eighty-seven; you’ll be eighty-nine I’ll still look at you like the stars that shine In the sky, oh my my my
Y/N was in the library of the mansion, wanting to be alone. There was a family and friends gathering downstairs hosted by Scorpius for Y/N and Draco’s 68th anniversary. Y/N was staring at a bookshelf when she didn’t notice Draco come in. She felt two arms wrap around her waist and Draco placed his chin on her shoulder.
“Love what are you doing up here” Love , the nickname that still managed to give butterflies to her stomach even after so many years of Draco calling her that
“Oh nothing honey it’s just that I wanna spend time with you but it’s impossible with so many guests downstairs so I decided to come here to think”
“Well…we’re alone now aren’t we?” Draco grinned
She turned around to face him with a wide smile
“May I have this dance m'lady?” Draco offered his hand and Y/N took it with no hesitation. They slow danced to the music playing downstairs, foreheads touching and enjoyed their little moment
“We’ve come a long way haven’t we Mrs.Malfoy? So many years have passed and you’restill here in front of me, looking beautiful like the day I met you”
Y/N smiled at him and kissed his lips
“Yes we have Mr.Malfoy, and you still look dashing as always” They both smiled
“Happy Anniversary love, I love you”
“I love you too Dray”
“Forever and always”
#draco malfoy#reader#draco#draco malfoy x reader#draco malfoy x female reader#draco malfoy/reader#dracomalfoyxreader#dracoxreader#draco malfoy x slytherin!reader#draco malfoy fanfiction#draco malfoy/reader fanfics#draco x reader#draco x you#hogwarts#narcissa malfoy#scorpius malfoy#lucius malfoy#harry potter#harry potter fanfiction#dracomalfoy#draco lucius malfoy#draco malfoy fanfics#draco malfoy masterlist
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This Dance
summary: you’re a trainee close to debut under SM, Ten is a very helpful sunbae who helps teach you how to dance better, becomes your best friend, and becomes a lot more.
words: 12,373
tags: idol!verse, friends to lovers, secret relationship (kinda), face riding, oral sex, loss of virginity, etc.
Ten was there to witness your great breakdown. Stress and many sleepless nights, a lacking diet, and your personal failure to do seemingly anything right brought on a bought of hyperventilation and tears and an aching chest, so you stole quickly from the practice room before the other trainees or your trainer could see.
The hallway wasn’t nearly enough of a private place to deal with the panic coursing through you, so you ducked away, wiping at your tears, barely able to see or breathe, so you definitely had no idea where you were going.
And then you bumped right into Ten as he was coming out of one of the other practice rooms.
“Oh, hey.” He caught you before you could fall.
A few other boys gathered in the doorway behind them, and feeling all of them gazing at you, all of them judging you and your tears only made everything worse for you. So you just dropped down into a crouch, trying to fit your head between your knees so you could maybe finally breathe.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Ten knelt down in front of you, clearly somewhat uncomfortable as well with your display of emotions. He hesitated to touch you, but when you gave a great wheeze, he took hold of both of your wrists, and you looked up at him. “Breathe with me.”
Ten took a deep breath, held it, and then let it flow out slowly. You tried your best to match it, but it was difficult, and it took a few repetitions before you could manage your shaky breaths in time with his. His thumbs stroked the soft skin of your wrists, his eyes locked with yours as he helped you regulate your breathing.
At some point you noticed that it was just the two of you. The other members of WayV had left. Just Ten holding your wrists, helping you breathe, and when that was under control, you fell back onto your bum.
“What’s wrong?” Ten asks again, his voice so gentle. Tears still drip from your eyes, trailing down your cheeks, from the tip of your nose and chin. Ten carefully reaches over, cautiously swipes the pad of his thumb under your eyes, and then he pinches his sleeve between his fingers to dab at your tears. “Is it the training?”
You nod, choking down a breath, blinking away the tears as best you can. “It’s just a lot. But I don’t need to tell you that, you’ve been through it too.”
“Every experience is different for everyone.” Ten’s sleeves are warm against your cheeks, dry and comforting. You want to lean into him, but at the same time you are brutally aware of the impropriety of this interaction. He’s your senior in the company, a debuted famous idol, and you’re just a trainee who is failing.
“i’m just so bad at everything.” You sigh, sniffling a bit. “Jihye keeps telling me that my timing is off with the song. I know I’m messing up the choreo. And she keep telling me to lose weight, but I’m already--”
Ten shakes his head. “You don’t need to lose weight. You look perfect just the way you are. Well, you’re a little too damp right now, but once your cheeks dry a bit more, you’re perfectly perfect.”
Your face feels like it catches fire at the compliments. They’re certainly nothing that you ever expected to hear from Ten.
“And as for the choreo, I could help you out with that a little, if you’d like. I’m actually, miraculously not too busy right now.” Ten slips his phone out of his pocket and glances down at it, then looks back at you.
“Are you serious? Why would you help me? I’m just a trainee, and not even a very good one. Why help me?”
“I’ve been there.” Ten nods. “Stressed and feeling inadequate. It’s shitty. And I’ve seen you and the others training. You’re good, I promise, but you do need just a little bit of work, and I’d like to help because I think I can and stuff.”
His and stuff seems like a bit of a weak answer, but as your tears dry sticky on your face, you don’t mind the weakness of his answer because you want it. You want Ten to help you train, to help you improve to the standard you need to be at to debut.
“I want to say yes.” You tell him, “But I think right now I should get back in there before they notice and I get in trouble. Hanna and Heeyoung unnie definitely saw me leaving.”
“Of course, but if you still want, just let me know.” Ten rises to his feet.
You sit down there for a second longer, looking up at him.
“I’ll be around, so don’t give up on all this. Next time you’re feeling a bit--” He makes a face and kinda wiggles his fingers in a way like static coming from his head. “--frazzled, come find me. I’ll help you out.”
So you return to the practice room with a bit more confidence, and also the hope that soon you’ll be able to take Ten up on that offer.
That opportunity comes a week later.
You’re surviving the day on exactly one hour and fourteen minutes of sleep, several bottles of water, a handful of vitamins, and pure will to remain as a trainee in this company. While several of the other girls, especially the younger ones, have headed home for the night, you decided to hang back with Miyeon, your closest friend among the trainees.
But she’s currently dozing off in the corner while you drip sweat in the middle of the room, staring down your reflection to analyze your every move as the song plays on repeat from the speakers.
“Can we go home yet?” Miyeon groans. “I’m tired, it’s getting late. We’ll be back here tomorrow. Let’s just go rest.”
But you can’t rest, no matter how much your body begs you for a break. You have to perfect this.
“You go.” You tell her, taking a few seconds to catch your breath, gulp down some water to quiet the hungry rumbles of your belly. “
“I’m not going to leave you here to work yourself to the bone, dummy. And also, knowing you, you’re going to actually work at this until you pass out or hurt yourself in some way. I’m here to supervise.”
You wipe at the sweat under your chin. “You’re falling asleep over there, so you’re not doing a very good job of supervision, Miyeon.”
She frowns at you, but stands up, grabs her bag from beside her, and slips into her jacket. “Fine, I’m leaving, but if I wake up in the morning and you’re not in that bed across from mine, I’m going to beat your ass, okay?”
“Yeah, I’ve got it.” You stretch your arms over your head. “I’ll just be here for a little bit longer, then I’ll be safe and asleep in the dorm. Swear.”
Miyeon holds you to that promise when she stretches out her pinky to you and waits for you to wrap your pinky finger around hers. You stamp your thumbs together to seal the promise.
She’s been gone for maybe a song and a half when you hear the door open behind you. You spin around, ready to tell her off, when you notice that it’s not Miyeon standing in the doorway watching, but Ten instead.
“Your shoulders are too tense. That’s why that move looks weird.” Ten tells you then he walks forward, leaving the doorway behind to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with you. “Watch.”
And then he perfectly executes the choreography you’ve been struggling with for the past few days.
“That’s not fair!” You groan, collapsing onto the floor with your legs folded in front of you. “How are you just going to come in here and do it that easily on the first try?”
“Loosen up. You’re thinking about it too much, you just need to feel the music, let it move you.” He takes a deep breath, holds it, then lets it out. You mimic the motion, but Ten shakes his head. “You’re still tense. Stand up again.” Ten offers his hand down to you, and you place your hand in his, let him help you to your feet.
When Ten smiles, his eyes shimmer.
“Now, I want you to shake out the tension with me.”
He holds out his arms and starts moving them, shaking them, whipping his head around, bouncing on his feet. He looks silly, but relaxed and happy. You feel silly when you start doing it too. Like Ten just looks so loose and everything, and now that you’re doing this, you feel how tense you are, the stiffness in your arms. But as you shake it out with Ten, a laugh bubbles its way up to your lips, and when it breaks free, Ten laughs too, looking up at you as you both shake out the tension, your body growing looser.
“Now dance!” Ten laughs, stopping the silly moves and sliding right into the choreography to match with the music that’s been playing all this time in the background.
You hear the music, feel it like a thread slipping through your ear, streaming down into your body, and you move. You watch yourself in the mirror and you watch Ten beside you, and for the first time you feel like you’re doing it right. You feel the difference in before and now, the ease with which you let the moves move you.
As the song ends, Ten turns to you. “Perfect!”
You laugh and wrap your arms around him, dragging him into a tight and happy hug. “Thank you. I know it’s silly, but that really did help.”
Ten’s arm curls around your waist. “Happy to help.” His breath is warm on your cheek, his heartbeat pounds against yours, and all at once you’re reminded that he’s your senior, you’re a trainee, and you’ve been practicing like this for hours and you’re drenched in sweat.
You step back quickly.
A few more hours pass, Ten helping you with choreography, but mostly it’s just the two of you goofing around, dancing to whatever songs he plays. It’s getting late--or maybe getting early--so finally you call it quits.
“I have to get back to the dorm. I swore to Miyeon I’d actually get some sleep tonight.” You press your back to the mirror, sink down to the floor. “Though, I am half-tempted to just stay right here and fall asleep.”
“Don’t do that. Come on.” Ten offers you his hand again, and you take it to let him pull you to your feet. “Don’t let Miyeon down. And if you’re just reluctant to leave my wonderful company, don’t worry. I’ll be back.”
Every night for the next week, when the other trainees leave, and it’s only you left in the practice room, Ten arrives. You spend hours together dancing and laughing. Ten gets you to take breaks to just relax for a few minutes watching funny videos or just talking, sometimes he convinces you to eat with him, sometimes he sings, sometimes he convinces you to perform for him too.
Before long you realize that Ten’s more than just mentoring you. He’s not just helping you through this training period, he’s become a friend. You look forward to seeing him, and in those rare moments when you’re in your bed at the dorm scrolling through your phone, you sometimes see things that you know Ten would like to see. So sometimes you send them to him. He always replies. Sometimes he sends you funny things as well.
And then one morning, after a practice that ran nearly all night, Jihye hangs around later than normal to perfect her facial expressions while performing the choreography, and just as she’s walking toward the door to leave, Ten walks in looking freshly scrubbed, wide awake even though the world outside is only just waking.
“Oh?” He looks at her and then looks at you. “Hello.”
She greets him respectfully, throws a curious look back at you, and then cocks her head slightly to the side, but she says nothing. She just excuses herself and leaves you and Ten alone in the room.
You turn away from the mirrors, grab your phone and your bag, and then you face him with a wide smile breaking across your face. “Ten! I wanted to tell you . . .” Before you can say anything else, you yawn.
“Tired?” Ten asks.
You shake your head, but the yawn that immediately follows the first betrays your lie. “Okay, I’m a little tired. I definitely can’t do any more practice with you this morning.”
Ten shakes his head. “I wouldn’t expect you to. But do you want to get breakfast instead? My treat?”
“Oh, well, if you’re paying, then of course I want some.” You bounce toward him. “I need some coffee and probably something delicious to eat. What do you think?”
Ten buries his hands in the pockets of his black jacket, shrugs his shoulders, and tells you, “I thought we’d just see where the morning takes us.”
You’re actually not sure where the morning takes you.
The city is still half asleep as you walk out of the building and start down the street. Ten sticks close to your side, warm in the chilly dawn light, and when you shiver he makes you stop so he can give you the hoodie he wears under his jacket.
“What were you thinking not having a jacket in this weather?” He clucks at you, and you never took Ten for a mother hen sort, but he chastises you even as he hands you the hoodie still warm from his body, smelling like his body wash. You try your best to not make it obvious that you’re trying to inhale the scent of him from the fabric.
Ten leads you along streets, wandering with you until the sun begins to peer over the city, painting the sides of buildings golden, turning shadows blue, and when the sweet, delicious scent of freshly brewed coffee greets your noses, you duck inside a cafe.
It seems a magical little shop with a wall of french windows looking out onto a garden. Cute tables fill the shop, shelves line the walls, old bulbs hang from the ceiling and drape along the walls, and flowers decorate each table. You find a cushiony rounded booth in a corner of the place, and you sink into it while Ten orders something to drink for both of you.
You’re not falling asleep, but you are zoning out by the time that Ten arrives at the table with two steaming drinks. He slides in beside you, his shoulder against yours. You lift the drink to your face, inhale deeply the aroma of coffee and cream, and you take a sip before sitting it back down on the table.
Ten laughs quietly, and when you look over at him, he reaches up to wipe his thumb right above your top lip. His thumb comes away with some foam, and you watch as he brings his thumb to his own mouth. You stare as he sucks his thumb clean, and even once he lowers his hand, you can’t look away from his mouth until he clears his throat and turns back to his drink on the table.
You sigh, turning to the side as you sink against the back of the booth, resting your chin on the soft cushioniness of it. “I think I’m really sleepy. The coffee’s not working.”
“Do you want me to help you to your dorm?” Ten asks.
“Not yet.” You shake your head. “I wanted to tell you something earlier.”
Ten takes a sip from his mug. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” You sit up as you stifle another yawn. “We got the news while we were practicing earlier. We get to debut. All five of us.”
There’s a loud clang as he sits his mug down hard on the little saucer. “That’s amazing! Do you know anything else yet?”
You smile, unable to fight it. You’re so excited, and it’s all thanks to Ten, you feel like. Without his help, there’s no way that you would’ve been able to improve as much as you have over the last few weeks, and there’s no way that you would have been good enough that SM would want to debut you.
“All we know is that we’re debuting, and we’re not going to be put into NCT.” You laugh, fighting back another yawn. You drop your head onto his shoulder. “It’s all thanks to you, Ten. Thank you.”
“What did I do?” His voice is soft.
You know you should probably sit up, stop using his shoulder as a pillow, but he’s comfy and you’re tired and you don’t want to. So you leave your head there as you tell him, “You encouraged me to not give up. All these nights of practicing with you, you’ve really helped me. Without you, I wouldn’t have been able to do this.”
“I think you’re underestimating yourself. And what would Heeyoung noona think if you didn’t attribute anything to her? I know for a fact that she’s been trying to help you too.”
You push at his arm then, and sit up. “Just take my thanks, Ten. Thank you for being wonderful, for being kind and helpful. Thank you for the coffee. Thank you for wiping my tears that day and supporting me ever since then.”
He ducks his head, but still you see the way his cheeks flush pink. “Just drink your coffee, so I can get you home. And I hope you enjoy it because the next time we get coffee you’re going to be the one paying, in the best new girl group in the industry.”
Leading up to and after debut, you don’t get the chance to see Ten nearly as much. For one thing, you’re constantly busy, and he’s pretty busy as well.
Heeyoung, Jihye, Miyeon, and Hanna are all pretty good company as well as your other staff members, but you miss Ten. Even though you message each other whenever you can, it’s not enough. It’s only occasional messages, usually with long lulls in between responses.
There’s a show that the five of you are invited to where the hosts play a song and you have to dance along to the song. Everyone had expected that Jihye and Miyeon were going to be the aces of the game, but you surprised everyone. Those many nights practicing with Ten had given you an extensive knowledge of dances for a lot of the more popular songs.
When the five of you did a VLive the day after that episode aired, several fans were asking questions to just get to know you better. Some asked questions about how close you were with other artists in the company.
“You’re really close with WayV’s Ten, aren’t you?” Jihye asks, nudging you.
You look at her for a few seconds, wondering why she’s decided to say that. If people misconstrue that, it won’t be good for you. The last thing you need as a rookie is to be in a scandalous rumored relationship with Ten. Why couldn’t she have mentioned that you and her are actually quite close with Yeri as well, and Taeyong was close to all of you, kind of like an older brother.
“Yeah,” You shrug at the camera. “Ten’s a good friend, a good dancer. When we were trainees he helped me practice my dancing. Taeyong oppa is really wonderful too. And Yeri, like we just had dinner with her the other night.”
Luckily, the other girls leap onto that bit, gushing to the fans about dinner with Yeri and all the fun it had been. You sit there and pray that everyone will skip over the part about Ten.
Of course they don’t. Shortly after the live is over, you’re online and you see many fans talking about Jihye’s comment, talking about you and Ten and your friendship that they really know nothing about. You even see screenshots and clips and gifs of you talking about him, fans suddenly shipping you together which - okay, weird, but even weirder the way it makes you feel kinda fluttery inside but also gross and watched and judged - and then you see that Ten did an Instalive where fans asked him about you which only fed their fire.
But you don’t get the chance to talk to him or see him until a few weeks later. It’s late and you’re at the practice room to perfect the choreo you and the girls are practicing for a performance you have coming up.
Hanna begs for a break so she can go pee, and as she runs from the room, you see a shape lingering outside the door, looking in.
Ten.
The other girls are gathered around your choreographer, not paying you any attention, so you slip unnoticed from the room.
“Ten!”
“Hey,” He smiles. “I heard you were practicing, so I just wanted to come watch for a minute.”
You sink back to lean against the wall. “And? What did you think?”
“You’re good.” Ten smiles an adorable yet cocky thing. “You must’ve had a good teacher.”
With a laugh, you push at his shoulder, and tease him, “Miyeon and Jihye have taught me so well. Just them, no one else.”
“Oh, really? Because I’ve heard it a little different. And I remember it a little different.” He steps closer to you as Hanna comes bolting back past to squeeze through the door of the practice room. “I remember late nights, just us dancing until you physically couldn’t dance anymore.”
“I miss those nights,” You admit quietly, looking him in the eye as you say, “I miss hanging out with you, both of us sweaty and exhausted and honestly pretty gross, but those were the best times.”
Ten smiles and makes a little face like he can’t believe you would admit to something so cheesy as missing him. And then he softly says, “Me too. You should probably get back in there.” He nods toward the door, and when you look, you see Hanna and Miyeon staring through the glass pane at you and Ten. “I’ll text you later.”
No sooner have you entered the practice room again than the girls all begin teasing you, and no amount of you insisting that “It’s not like that!” they don’t stop until you’re feeling positively flushed, your stomach fluttery and funny, and the thought clings to the back of your mind, is it like that?
The next time you get to see Ten you’re on the verge of another breakdown.
You’ve not had a proper sleep for a week, nor a proper meal in nearly as long. Your group has wholly been a success, and because of that, your schedule as you prepare for this comeback has been extremely taxing on you mentally and physically. Your emotions are a wreck, your body aches and feels heavy. You’re fatigued, but there’s no opportunity for rest. They’ve been working the five of you relentlessly, and finally young Hanna slips, falls, and knocks her head against the practice room’s floor.
While your manager takes her to the hospital just to get her checked out, you and the other three are told to just continue practicing. To perfect yourselves.
The staff member who stays to observe is one that you don’t like. She’s mean, she’s rude, she’s just an intolerable person, in your opinion.
All it takes is a few sharp comments from her on top of you worrying about Hanna, being sleep-deprived and hungry, and then also worrying about the reception of this comeback by the fans. You feel the panic begin to seep into your, dark and cloying, thick like ink running through your veins, constricting your chest, and darkening the edges of your vision.
You walk out and don’t look back.
When you call Ten, he answers on the third ring, sounding sleepy and it’s then that you remember that it’s actually late.
“Ten?” You say his name as soon as you hear him answer.
The panic you’re feeling must come through in your voice, because immediately Ten sounds more alert. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry, you were probably sleeping. I just--I’m kind of freaking out, there’s just... everything, and right now I just can’t--Hanna’s on her way to the hospital because she hit her head, and Soyeon unnie is a bitch, and I’m just freaking out about it all, Ten. I walked out of practice and now I’m sitting right outside the building and....” Your chest aches and it’s kinda hard to breathe and you realize that you’ve been crying and why is there not enough air in the world right now?
“Hey,” Ten’s voice is soft, the same way it was that first day, the last time he saw you like this. “Hey, I’m actually right around the corner. I’ll be there in a minute, just breathe for me, okay? Come on, I know you know how. In.” You hear him inhaling deeply. Holds it. And then releases it slowly. “Out.”
You try to do it, but for some reason your lungs won’t cooperate, only sucking in jagged breaths that don’t seem to fill your chest at all before you’re exhaling, and tears pour out of you and a disgusting snotty sob sounds, and all the while you hear Ten’s voice in your ear and everything is just so much, so overwhelming, so everywhere.
And then he’s in front of you, crouched down before you with gentle hands on your wrists. He pries your phone out of your hands, takes your hands away from your face, and the way he’s looking at you makes things worse because he looks at you so tenderly and pitying, and you’re sure you look a mess right now after hours of practice and now your tears and snot and all that.
He says your name, quietly at first, and then when you don’t respond he says it more sharply.
You meet his eyes.
“Breathe with me. I’ve got you.”
And slowly but surely it works. Your breathing is still a bit shaky, and you still feel about one second away from bursting into tears, but Ten holds your hand and keeps talking to you, and for the first time you really feel a surge of love for him. Friendly love and romantic love and just appreciation for this godsend of a human being in front of you.
You collapse against him, resting your head on his shoulder, and Ten takes it with a little laugh, his arms wrapping around you.
“Thanks for coming.” Your murmur into the softness of his hoodie. “What were you doing around here anyway?”
Ten squeezes you a little bit, and says, “The rest of the group’s in China to film something, but I have another schedule so I’m here alone for a few days. There’s this place around the corner that I was craving since we get it delivered sometimes while we’re training. I was about to head in when you called.”
“Sorry to make you miss your food.” You sit back, wipe the backs of your hands over your cheeks, under your nose. “And I probably look like a mess, don’t I? I should head home. There’s no way I’m heading back in there; I already know Heeyoung unnie’s gonna bitch me out for walking out like that.”
“Let Heeyoung noona be mad at you. Come eat with me.” He stands, tugging on your hand still tangled with his. “Come on.”
So Ten holds your hand, wipes at your cheeks again, and together you walk the few streets over to the small restaurant he’d been craving. It’s a tiny place, and they look as if they’re about to close, which you tell him as he starts to open the door, but Ten shakes his head. “They love me here, just watch.”
He pushes the door open and immediately the older woman behind the counter cheers, grinning from ear to ear as she says Ten’s name. They are about to close for the night, it turns out, but that just means that they’ve got some unsold food that they need to get rid of, and they just pile it all into Ten’s arms and send the pair of you off with more than enough food.
“Well,” Ten sighs, shifting the weight in his arms. “Do you want to come back to the dorm and eat with me?”
You think of Heeyoung, of Miyeon and Jihye all leaving practice and returning to the dorm to find you’re not there. Maybe you’ll text them and tell you where you are. . . . But they’ll tease you about Ten, make this into more than it really is. You could just part ways with Ten right here, go back to your own dorm and wait for your members to return, though you’ll get an earful from your leader, and Miyeon’s inevitably going to worm the information out of you about how you’d disappeared with Ten to calm down.
You spend so long deliberating that Ten makes the decision for you. He passes one of the bags over to you, and then another, and when you’ve got bags of food in each hand, Ten starts walking in the direction of WayV’s dorm. You follow quickly behind.
The dorm is dark and quiet when Ten forces the door open. He slips off his shoes, drops his keys in a basket by the door, and trots on into the darkness. You hesitate, suddenly aware of how you’re alone with Ten and no one else knows where you are. Not that you think he’d, like, murder you or anything like that, it’s just an instinctive kind of paranoia you’d feel if it were any man leading you into a situation like this.
“Are you coming inside?” Ten calls, and a second later the lights flip on, illuminating the entry way and the rows and rows of shoes beside the door. You let your shoes join the ranks, and you slide across the floor in your socks, stepping into the open area of the living room and kitchenette.
Off to the left is the living room area: a wide bay of windows looking out to the street with vertical blinds slightly hindering the view. There’s a rather comfy looking sofa, a beanbag chair, a large TV, and various video game consoles.
Directly to your right is the kitchenette, just a fridge and a stove, a microwave, a toaster, and a blender. Ten’s shoving some of his load of leftover food into the fridge, and you sit yours carefully on the limited counterspace. It doesn’t stay there for long. Ten unpacks it and the pair of you move across the room to the sofa (which is just as comfy as it had looked), and he turns on Netflix. You eat and watch, and finally when the last of the food is gone it’s very late and you’re very full.
Ten takes the take out containers as one episode ends, and you wonder if this is the moment when you should tell him that you should leave, head back to your dorm. But a large part of you doesn’t want to leave. You’re really comfortable on this sofa, with Ten, watching this interesting show.
“Are you feeling better now?” Ten asks, falling back down beside you, he lifts his knees up to his chest and wraps his arms around them.
“Mmm, but now I’m stuffed.” You sigh. “I don’t think I can even move.”
“So don’t,” Ten says, “Text your members and tell them where you are so they don’t worry. Stay. We can finish bingeing this.”
You excuse yourself to the bathroom for a few moments to collect your thoughts, and while you’re in there you rinse your face and stare at your reflection. Then you pull out your phone and text your members that you’re staying at a friend’s place tonight.
Come tomorrow, you know you might have a few regrets. You might regret all that food you’d just eaten when you wake up feeling bloated. You might regret walking out of practice earlier. You might regret not sleeping in your own bed for an attempt at a good night’s sleep.
But as you rejoin Ten on the sofa, you somehow don’t think you’ll regret this.
He produced a large, fluffy blanket from somewhere and as you scoot closer to him, he drapes it over you and you huddle together side by side. Not that the dorm is really cold or anything, it just feels so nice to be so close to each other, sharing body heat under the blanket.
At some point, the day’s stresses finally hit you. Your eyelids droop, your head nods, and you barely even feel when Ten guides your head to his shoulder.
You dream of a stage, performing up there all alone, a single blazing spotlight focused on you and only you. You can hear the murmurs of the audience as you dance, every sound magnified in the odd quietness of the crowd; every squeak of your shoes on the stage, your breathing thunderous, even the sound of your hair flying loosely around your face has sound. It’s such an odd and mildly terrifying experience, to be so alone and so observed.
You wake with a start.
The TV shut off at some point, and the room is built out of slate gray and black shadows except for the muted blue glow coming from the clock on the microwave across the room. You’re on your side, the blanket still draped over you, and then you hear the quiet of Ten’s breath, feel the flutter of it against your skin, the warmth of his against your back, his legs tangled with yours.
You don’t know how exactly you got like this, to be spooning with Ten on the sofa. But you’re not mad or perturbed or anything other than comfortable and content.
He shifts a little in his sleep, makes the quietest whispery murmur that could almost be a word, though in what language you’re not sure. You press back against him, sink into his warmth, and you fall back asleep.
It doesn’t seem much later when you wake again.
Your phone is vibrating loudly on the floor, chiming quietly as well. Blearily you reach for it, and through the haze of your half-lidded eyes, you read that it’s your manager calling.
“Turn it off.” Ten mumbles, reaching over you to try to lower your phone. When he misses, he doesn’t pull the arm back, just curls it over your waist, dragging you more firmly back against him. You let the phone fall back to the floor because you know you’re not going to answer your manager.
For one thing, it’s quarter past five in the morning. You crave sleep and relaxation, and you know that as of yesterday, your schedule for today was empty until after noon.
For a second thing, Ten’s scent and heat encompasses you, drawing you back into him, and as you sink against him, you feel him pressing back against you.
You roll over carefully to face him, not that it really helps the situation. You can still feel Ten--a hard rigid line in his pants--pressing against your hip. And when you lift a hand to touch Ten’s chest, he stirs, eyes only opening a crack, but it’s enough for him to see you so close and he covers your hand with his, laying your palm flat over his heartbeat.
You make the next first move, lifting your hand toward his jaw. Ten’s fingertips burn against the back of your hand, following you to caress his face with your fingers, admiring the shadows of his face. He watches you carefully, and when you lean closer, lifting your mouth to his, he doesn’t flinch but lets his eyelids flutter closed.
The first press is gentle, soft, not more than a peck.
Ten sighs as you pull back just an inch, and then you dip back in for more and he opens his mouth to let you in. The taste of his mouth is so sweet, but there’s a bitterness to it as well like the take out you’d eaten together hours ago, but you crave more of him, press closer.
Slowly, Ten pulls you over him, your legs slotting together, your chest laid against his. You absentmindedly grind down against him until he moans and drops his head back to swear, “Fuck, what are you doing to me?”
You push your fingers into his hair, and Ten looks up at you as if he’s beholding the entirety of the universe above him. You squirm, pushing your hips down against his thigh, grinding against his bulge again, and Ten’s hands grasp at your waist. You bite your lip, toy with his hair, and Ten swears again and the sound of it is so unrestrained and hungry that you feel a burst of heat in your belly, a gush of wetness where his leg presses between your legs.
This all feels very sudden, but also long overdue.
You think of all the late nights alone together practicing and laughing and talking. Imagine what it would have been like if you’d just kissed him one of those nights. Not that you would have at first. For the first few weeks you made sure to not say or do anything that he would think was you coming onto him in anyway because for those first few weeks you definitely believed that Ten was probably gay.
He’d done little to dissuade you from that notion until a night when you mentioned dating in the industry, and Ten said, “I’ve never had the guts to bring anyone I liked into this. Fans can be so hateful towards girlfriends, I’ve seen it with like Kai hyung. I wouldn’t want to bring a girl I liked under criticism like that.” To which you’d asked, “A girl you liked?” And Ten had nodded, not really noting your ever-so-slight tone of surprise then, and he said, “Yeah, right now there’s not really anyone,” he gave you a sideways look and a smile, “But maybe someday I’ll find a girl who I just won’t be able to get out of my head or my life.”
And now here you are, straddling his thigh on his sofa in his otherwise empty dorm. Are you a girl that he likes enough to not be able to get you out of his head?
His fingertips dip under your shirt, warm on your bare skin as they push just inside your waistband, holding there.
“I was dreaming about you,” Ten tells you. “It all felt so real. The heat of you on me, your perfume and shampoo. How soft you are.” His fingers sink a bit deeper under your clothes, and you want them even deeper, touching you where you need him. Your breath hitches when he does push the waistband of your pants down a little more, the cooler air of the dorm meeting your heated skin. You feel Ten’s heartbeat thundering against yours where your chests are pressed together.
When his fingers skim over the curve of your ass, your breath stutters out of you, and you drop your head to his shoulder with a whimper.
“Is this okay?” He asks, turning his lips to touch your hair. You nod, but Ten waits until you murmur a “yes” before he continues.
You lift your hips to help as he pushes your pants and panties down your legs, and when your hips sink down again, you feel the fabric of his jeans against your bare wet pussy. And a moment later, his nimble fingers brush against your heat. You bite back another sound, tucking your face against his neck.
“Have you done this before?” Ten asks.
“I fumbled around with a boy when I was in high school.” Your lips touch his throat with each word. “But he was the only one. It’s been a while. You?”
Ten only gives you a “Yeah,” and doesn’t elaborate with any details.
You grind down against his thigh, attempt to push back to get his fingers to touch you more, but Ten’s hands return to your hips, holding you still. You sit up to look down at him, and his eyes fall down your body to where your shirt ends and your bareness begins. Heat flushes through you, embarrassment a bit, but Ten’s eyes show nothing but appreciation as he takes in the sight of your pussy against his thigh.
He clears his throat.
“Can I eat you out?”
By this point, the morning light is starting to turn the room from darkness into pale blueness. So there is absolutely no mistaking the hungry way he looks at you. No mistaking the way he licks his lips, the way that his hands flex against your hips and his dick twitches within the confines of his pants against your thigh.
“Please?” Ten asks, and his hold on you has you shifting up his body slightly. Your pussy throbs when you look at his lips again, at his whole pretty face, imagining that tucked between your thighs, his tongue working magic on you.
Ten shifts and wiggles until he’s more comfortable, and to accommodate for that, you shift as well so you’re straddling his hips instead of just the one thigh, and now you sit fully against his bulge. You feel him pulse against your wet heat, divided only by a couple layers of cloth. He feels a decent size, and you wish you could just have him inside you, but Ten once again licks his lips and pleads a soft, “Please sit on my face.”
Hearing him beg for you like that is like nothing else you’ve ever experienced. You go immediately, letting him shift you up his body until your knees rest on the cushion on either side of his head. Ten looks up at you, his thumbs stroking your hips, gentle circles with his fingers, his breath warm and wet.
And at the first touch of his mouth on your needy pussy, you moan for him.
His eyes are half-lidded, his tongue pleasant and warm as he tastes you, and the first beams of morning sunlight break into the room.
You squirm and wiggle and Ten laps at your juices, you grind down against his tongue. He moans, hands grasping at you, pulling you down harder against his face. You press your fingers into his hair, sighing his name as he sucks on your clit, and when he twists his head to the side to nip at your thighs, you swear quietly, but Ten quickly buries his face back against you again, licking and sucking and drinking your wetness.
Your thighs shake on either side of his head as you get closer, and you can feel him smiling against your, loving how he’s getting you to fall apart for him.
You rub yourself against his tongue, grinding against his face, and Ten pushes a hand up the front of your shirt to get at your breasts, massaging his palm against your chest.
Sunlight spills into the room, the full golden warming glow of it breaks over your body just as Ten pulls your orgasm from you. You twist your fingers in his hair, whining and moaning and shaking, squeezing his head with your thighs, and yet he just keeps licking at you sweetly.
Dismounting his face is easier said than done. Your legs quiver, and Ten laughs at your wobbly movement as you attempt to balance on one knee. He slides onto his side, his back against the sofa’s back and you just collapse back in front of him and push at his chest, hiding your face in embarrassment.
Ten’s fingers brush over your forehead, fixing a few strands of hair. His other hand pulls your leg up to his waist, fingers tapping a rhythm against your thigh. “Was that good for you?”
“What a stupid question.” You mumble, tucking your face against his chest. “Did I cum that hard and not feel good?”
“I don’t know, should I do it for you again and see how it compares?” Ten asks, his voice light and amused as his fingers skim up your thigh toward your pussy again. You squirm and whine, and he stops, just massaging your thigh instead. You can still feel his erection against you, but he doesn’t seem in any rush to take care of it.
Instead he kisses your cheek, nuzzles into your hair, holds you against him like that. He pulls a blanket from the back of the sofa to cover you, and you cling tighter to him and ignore the persistent rising of the sun outside, the passing of time. You don’t want to leave. You want to stay cuddled together on this sofa instead of leaving, returning to your dorm with your group members.
You slip your arm around his waist, your leg still hoisted up to his hip where he’d brought it, and though Ten makes no effort to do anything about his erection, you still feel it hard against you, and the longer you do, you wonder why he’s not making a move. So you do.
Ten makes an inquisitive sound when you slip your hand inside his pants, but that sound quickly becomes a moan when you curl your hand around him. His tip is wet, his length warm and achingly hard, and when you ease his cock out of his pants, Ten shivers. Especially when you shift and guide him toward your entrance.
“This bit,” You whisper to him, “This bit I’ve not done.”
Ten pauses, holding back even as you try to get him inside you. “You’re still a virgin?”
You meet his eyes and shrug. “In some ways. Not in others.”
“But in this way?”
“Right.” You nod. You’d only ever messed around with the one guy before. You’d done pretty much everything except have his dick inside you. And then you’d come to SM, became a trainee and you were too focused on perfecting yourself for debut. You’d not had time to waste on dumb boys who you were just going to have to dump before debut anyway.
But Ten is so much more than just a dumb boy. He’s one of your best friends. A mentor, a friend, someone who you’ve got feelings for, someone who’s in this industry too.
Ten kisses you now, still holding back but his bare cock slides against your wetness. You’re so ready for this, you just want him inside you, but he rolls you onto your back and leans over you.
“Ten.” You whine and grip his shoulder.
He kisses the corner of your mouth and then your jaw, your neck, down toward your collarbones. And then he sits up, and you watch as he tucks his cock back into his pants.
“What are you doing?” You pout, reaching for his waistband, but Ten gently pushes your hands away. “Don’t you want me?”
“I want to make sure you’re ready for this. And also, I don’t have any condoms. I was just getting carried away. We can’t right now.” Ten explains, slumping back onto the other end of the sofa, running his hands over his hair. He looks at you there like this, looking flushed and wet and ready, your legs spread open so he can see your pretty pussy.
He swallows hard.
“I want you so much, trust me.” Ten tears his gaze away from between your legs. “But not now. Not like this.”
You sit up, tug your shirt down and yank the blanket back up to cover you. “What’s it going to take? How does it have to be?”
Ten shakes his head a little, like he’s clearing his thoughts. “When we’re more ready. When you weren’t just sobbing and having a panic attack a few hours ago. When I’ve got condoms and an empty dorm again. I want you, I really do, but I don’t think we should risk all of this. Unprotected sex is never a good idea. Plus, it’s going to be your first time, I don’t want you to rush into this.”
“I’m not rushing! I’ve had months to think on this, to think about how much I want you, Ten! You’re handsome and kind and smart and wonderful. You’re gentle and strong, and all of those nights you spent teaching me how to dance better, watching you like that made me want you. I love the way you move, and how you’ve taught me to move like that. So teach me how to fuck, teach me this dance.”
He smiles and reaches for you, and you crawl down the sofa toward him, let him draw you into his lap, and then in for another kiss, sufficiently distracting you for a handful of minutes.
But then he still pulls away from you, strokes your hair back from your face. “Don’t you have a schedule today?”
You pout and sit back on your heels, drop your hand to palm at him (he’s still hard, and you don’t understand how he can be so focused on not getting his own pleasure), and you tell him, “Yes, but not for a few hours. Let’s run out and get some condoms.”
“You’re so horny.” Ten laughs, giving you a nose-wrinkled smile. “Honestly, I’m fine--”
But you don’t care to hear what else he was going to say, you drop down, flatten yourself on the sofa between his stretched out legs, and bring his erection back out into the morning sunlight.
He moans out loud when you take him into your mouth, lips wrapped gently around his tip, tongue warm against the underside of it. Ten’s hands fly to the back of your head, and he doesn’t pull you off or push you down, he just rests them there as a comforting presence when you start bobbing your head and sucking.
You find you like the taste of him, the weight of him, on your tongue. You like the way his legs twitch when you push down until you choke around him. You like his moans when you get a hand down to massage his balls. Ten bucks up into your mouth, choking you on his length again, and you love it even more when he gasps your name and swears and babbles in all the different languages he knows and you wish you understood them all too.
“I’m close,” he warns you moments before he spurts over your tongue, his hold in your hair keeping you there as you swallow around him, trying not to choke on his load, just swallowing it down.
You’ve not even finished and neither has he when he pulls you up. Semen is still dripping from your lips when Ten crushes your mouth to his, and he kisses you with his own cum still on your tongue. He kisses you until your lips feel raw and the cum has dried tacky on your chin and hands and his dick, but then Ten still tries to wipe up with the blanket.
When that fails, he suggests, “Want to wash off?”
He throws the blanket in their laundry machine, and then he fills their shower-tub combo with warm water that fills the room with heat and a light floral scent when he drops in some petals. It’s soft and pretty, much like him and the pretty blush that spreads across his cheeks when you tell him that.
Ten kisses you again for that.
Each of you take your own clothes off, and you spend the whole time checking Ten out, watching every inch of newly exposed skin like you’re ravenous for the sight of him.
He self-consciously covers his dick, although you’ve already seen that part of him. You appreciate the rest of him, the sight of his bare chest, his thighs, the soft tone of his stomach. You feel his eyes on you too, but you don’t care to cover yourself; you want him to see you.
Ten sinks into the bathwater, and after a moment you follow him in.
“This is nice.” Ten’s words echo around the bathroom. You lean back comfortably against his chest, his heartbeat thumps against your back and you rest your cheek against his shoulder. In a softer voice, he admits to you, “I don’t want to move.”
“We don’t have to. Let your members find us like this. Let mine come looking for me here.” You like this casual intimacy, being naked with each other, bathing together. If he won’t have sex with you just yet, then at least there’s this. His hand finds yours in the water, and he twists his fingers with yours. “We can stay here until we’re fully pruned, Ten-ah.”
There were days when you wished that you had truly never left that bathtub with Ten; when you wished that you wouldn’t have so easily let him talk you out of having sex. The bliss of that morning had lasted only a few more hours before your phone’s insistent ringing had drawn you out of the tub to finally answer your manager’s call.
You were in trouble.
And now, weeks and weeks later, you were still in trouble, still on lockdown basically. It sucked.
You weren’t allowed to go anywhere without one of the other members or your manager knowing. You weren’t allowed your phone hardly at all. You were only allowed to see Ten if you ran into each other on company premises. Your manager insisted on supervising those interactions, which drove both you and Ten wild.
You wanted to kiss him. You missed his lips on yours. Just that one morning had made you an addict to his kiss, his touch.
You couldn’t even text or call him, which made everything worse.
So you missed him. Terribly.
But it made sense to you why you were in trouble. You’d not answered any of your manager’s calls for hours that day. You’d run off the night before. Even once you had answered the call, you hadn’t come back to the dorm as commanded for a few more hours. And to top it all off, someone (likely a sasaeng of either yourself or Ten) had taken photos of you and Ten together that night, just walking together along the street.
Representatives from the company had assured the masses that you and Ten were not dating, and now you were being totally kept apart from each other.
Well, until the day of the big SMTown concert.
You were buzzing around backstage, the adrenaline of performing pumping through your veins as well as the opportunity to see Ten.
“Unnie, calm down just a bit.” Hanna suggested as you were sitting beside her getting your makeup done, but your leg was bouncing so intensely that you were shaking your whole body, making it difficult for your stylist.
“Sorry. I’m trying. I’m just so pumped for the show.” You said.
Hanna rolled her eyes and caught Miyeon’s eyes in the mirror too. You watched your two groupmates share a look.
“What?”
Miyeon rolled her eyes too. “We all know that you’re excited to see Ten.”
You’d confessed to Miyeon, as your best friend in the group, about what had happened that night and morning with Ten. The others didn’t know all of the details exactly, but they knew that you were with Ten and that you were actually really good friends and probably more.
“Their dressing room’s just down the hall. I’m sure you could accidentally walk in there,” Hanna suggested. “Or I could, and you could come looking for me. I’m still not too good at reading Korean as a foreigner, you know.” She made an innocent expression that was totally bullshit. She was fantastic at Korean, though she often played it up to the fans that she wasn’t just so she would seem cuter. “And maybe while we’re in there I’ll get a look at Jaemin.”
“You’re drooling, Hanna.” Heeyoung came over to stand behind you. “But she’s right. They’re just down the hall, spread out through like three different dressing rooms, so you’d have to pick the right one at the right time to get them both in the same room at the same time. Better to just wait until we’re all on stage.”
And you know she’s right.
But that doesn’t mean that you don’t peek your head out the door of your dressing room once you’re fully ready to go up on stage.
You can spot several of the NCT members wandering around outside their dressing rooms, but you don’t spot Ten. Though you do see Jaemin and he stares down your direction when Hanna passes by you so she can go down to Red Velvet’s dressing room to hang out with Yeri.
And finally, you see Ten come out of one of those doorways. His arm is slung around Kun’s shoulders and he’s laughing, then he sees you and he just smiles and waves. You would go approach him, but at that moment, your manager appears and pulls you back into your own dressing room for you to film a little clip to be posted later.
When you and your members are taken to the stage for your turn to perform, you pour your heart and soul into it, but a good portion of your mind is still on Ten, wondering if he’s watching your performance, if he’s been as excited to see you today as you’ve been to see him. You wonder if after the show today you might be able to sneak away.
The performance goes without a hitch. The rest of the concert passes by splendidly, and then at last it’s time for the closing stage with the whole SMTown family on stage. It’s crowded with all of the artists milling around the stage, smiling, waving, greeting each other and fans, singing and dancing around.
You almost bump into Ten.
He catches your arm, and though you know there are hundreds of fans around, virtually even more watching, you stand there with Ten and you smile at him, feeling the heat of his hand trailing away from your arm.
“Hey!” You call loud enough that he can hear you, though with the volume of the place, it’s nearly impossible to hear unless you’re speaking directly into each other’s ears. So when he tries to speak to you, you don’t make out very much of what he says at all.
You lean closer, trying to hear him, and when you do he shakes his head, and shouts louder, “Dance with me!”
His hand circles your wrist, and he lifts your arms into the air, swaying along to the music. It barely counts as dancing, but you don’t care.
You smile and wave with your free hand at the audience in front of you, but you hold onto Ten’s hand and sway to the music. Someone says something over one of the microphones, and you and Ten turn to where most everyone’s walking back to the main stage.
Letting go of his hand is the last thing you want to do, but you must. He stays by your side though, still waving at fans, though his smile is more often than not turned to you. You talk nonsense with him, unable to tell him in front of this whole audience that you want him to fuck you, so instead you compliment him on his performance.
You take the final bow beside each other, holding onto his hand with one, onto Miyeon’s with the other.
The moment you’re offstage, out of sight of fans, you turn and look for him again. Your members move by you, the Shinee members run by, and then you see some of the NCT members coming by, and finally Ten.
You grab his arm and he wraps his around you, squeezing you in a tight hug, his cheek against yours. “I miss you.” You tell him, “I want you.”
Ten looks around, notices that the other artist slipping by aren’t paying either of you any attention. He presses his lips to yours in a relatively chaste kiss. It’s not enough and you both know it. You fist your hands in his shirt, bring his mouth crashing back onto yours.
You have no plans the following day. Your flight back to Seoul isn’t until the following day, and then several of the girls are going home to visit their families since you’ve got the whole week off. You know Ten’s schedule’s clear the following day too because you’d bribed your manager to find out his flight information and he’d relented, maybe finally taking pity on you in this whole situation.
“Not here.” Ten tells you even as he continues kissing you. “Can you meet me at the hotel gym? At midnight?”
“The gym? Tonight?”
Ten nods, kisses you again, and then disappears down the hallway, and you have to navigate your way back to your dressing room alone.
Life seems to always get in your way.
Your manager insists that if you’re going to go down to the hotel gym at this hour alone, then you can’t go. But if he accompanies you, then you can go. “It’s too late, and you definitely shouldn’t be down there working out alone.”
“It’s not even that late?” You direct his attention to the nearest clock, showing that it’s only almost ten o’clock at night.
He shakes his head. “You can’t go alone.”
“But--!”
He shakes his head sharply. “No. And why do you even want to go work out? You just finished performing. You should rest tonight. I already know you’re going to be complaining for the next few weeks that you’re tired and never get enough rest. Well, take this chance to take a rest. You have a whole week off. If you really want to work out, go then. But tonight, stay in and relax.”
You can see that there’s no way that he’s going to let you leave your hotel room. So you sigh, “Can I at least have my phone back? It’s been weeks. I’ve been good. Followed all of your stupid rules and restrictions. And I’m an adult, oppa. Stop treating me like a kid by taking my phone away.”
“You’re right.” He makes a face. “Every time you act up we should tell you we’re going to restrict your Ten access. Stay right here.”
He leaves your room for a few moments, and when he reappears, he’s got your phone. “Behave, okay? You’ve got your phone. You got to see and talk to and touch Ten earlier. Please, don’t cause me any more trouble. Jihye and Hanna are doing a VLive in their room. Miyeon and Heeyoung are right next to you. My door is right across the hall, remember, so if you try to go down there tonight, I’ll know.”
“I won’t leave my room, oppa. Good night.” You hurry him out, and as soon as he’s gone you lock the door and leap onto your bed, rejoicing that you got the lucky draw for the single room. And then you call Ten.
His phone rings. And it rings and rings and rings.
Right before it sends you to voicemail, he answers, speaking your name breathlessly into the phone. “You’ve got your phone back?”
“Yes, and my manager won’t let me leave my room to come down to the gym.” You sigh and stare up at the ceiling. “But he never said anything about anyone coming here. I have my room all to myself.”
Ten’s end of the call is silent for a moment, just crackling static, and then, “What’s your room number?”
He’s at your door fifteen minutes later, softly knocking, and you quietly open the door to let him slip inside, then you close it just as quietly.
Ten slides his arms around your waist, and you spin in his arms to face him, cling to his shoulders and let him press you back against the door as he kisses you breathless, until your belly is in knots.
You untangle yourself from him, taking one of his hands from your waist, you begin to lead him away from the door, toward the bed instead. And that’s when Ten spots your bluetooth speaker. “I’m gonna play some music,” he tells you, pulling out his phone from his pocket, and when he does, a whole string of condoms falls out.
You stoop to pick them up, toss them over onto the bed. Ten quickly taps through his phone, and soon music is playing through the speaker, and he drops his phone to put his hands on you again.
You start by pushing his jacket from his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor, and you lift his sweatshirt over his head, groan when you see the tshirt he’s wearing beneath that. “How many layers have you got on?” You whine, dipping your fingers underneath to push it up his chest, getting him naked from the waist up. Ten laughs, his hands moving to strip you too, a much easier feat as you’re only wearing a tshirt and a sleeveless top beneath, which he pushes down to your waist before unfastening your bra.
He touches you lightly, his hands skimming up your side, cupping your breasts, a thumb teasing over each nipple as they harden under his attention. “You’re so beautiful,” Ten tells you, backing you toward the bed, kissing you once before you turn away, pushing your pants and panties down and slinking back onto the mattress.
As you look at Ten there at the foot of the bed, carefully stripping out of his pants, you’re filled with an overwhelming want and need for him. You’re wet and hot, and when you slide a hand down to touch yourself, Ten groans, and his cock appears in his hand as he moves onto the bed too.
You sigh his name, reaching for his hip, drawing him closer.
The music flows through the room, filling the silences, masking any of the sounds you might be making that would otherwise be audible to the rooms on either side of yours.
Ten watches as you play with yourself, your wetness glistening in the room’s lighting. You’re about to actually get a finger inside yourself when Ten’s hand touches your wrist. “I want to do that. Let me do that for you.”
As if you would tell him no?
Ten sinks over you, and his fingers dip between your legs, touching your clit, slipping through your wetness, and then at last, he presses one finger inside you. You squirm and whimper softly, touching his shoulders and his chest, tangling your fingers around the back of his neck to pull his mouth down against yours.
“So pretty,” Ten coos, kissing you once before he moves his kisses to your neck. “Watching you perform earlier tonight, all I could think of was how pretty you are, how talented. How much you deserve to be happy and feel good. Like this.” He slowly pumps his finger inside you, but you want more, and when you buck your hips and whine about it, he gets the message and fits another finger in beside the first.
He fingers you gently, taking his time in getting you nice and wet, stretched for his cock. He kisses you, whispering praises that make you wetter and needier, until you’re certain that you’re dripping onto the bed, creating a puddle on the sheets, but Ten doesn’t let up. He uses his thumb on your clit, swirling it in circles while he presses three fingers inside you, massaging that spongy pleasurous spot inside you.
“Ten, please.” You beg. “Please let me cum.”
He nods, kisses your throat where he can feel your heartbeat. “Cum for me.”
His fingers curl, his thumb rubs your clit just right, and you close your legs around his hand, twist your fingers in his hair, and keen his name. Your orgasm pulses through you in waves as Ten keeps fucking you on his fingers. He even kisses down your throat to your chest and leaves little love bites on your breasts.
And you feel satisfied, but still hungrier for him.
No sooner has he pulled his fingers out, wiping them on the bedsheets, than he’s moving forward, reaching for the string of condoms you’d tossed aside earlier.
Ten tears one open, and you watch as he rolls it down his length, and then you reach for him, pulling him in between your legs where you’re warm and wet and needy. “Fuck me, Ten. I need to feel you fill me up. Please.”
You’re ready for him. Never been readier.
His tip pushes inside you, a strange feeling but not painful or uncomfortable really. And then the rest of him follows slowly. He eases into you, gazing down at you and the way that you bite your lip to keep from moaning, the way you turn your head to the side so you don’t have to look at him looking at you feeling embarrassed about your body and the way that he’s inside you. It feels so strange and intimate and good and sweet and right to be doing this with Ten.
“You okay?” He asks once he’s fully inside you. You breathe shortly feeling odd with something as long and wide around as a penis inside of you. It’s much different than fingers or a tampon. “Alright?”
You nod. “Fine. How are you?”
“I’m good,” Ten laughs. “Just chilling inside a beautiful girl.”
You lift your hips slightly, and something in Ten’s expression changes. He pulls back just a bit and then pushes into you again, sucks his bottom lip into his mouth until you reach up, drag your thumb just under his bottom lip and then lean up to kiss him.
You find very quickly that the rhythm of his hips moving against yours, his cock thrusting inside you, it’s a rhythm that you can follow with your own movements, the rise and fall of your chests against each other, lifting your hips to meet his thrusts. It’s all just a dance. A very, very intimate dance, but a dance nonetheless.
Ten soon is moaning for you, burying his face against your shoulder to kiss and bite at the sensitive skin there. Marking you, but in a place where no one will see. He pushes one of your legs higher, giving himself a different angle to thrust in at, and you drag your nails down his back and cry out his name.
When he cums, it’s sudden. His teeth drag against your skin, his breath hot and fast as he moans, bucking into you and filling the condom, though you do wish that you could feel him cumming inside you. His heartbeat races, you can feel it where your hand rests against his back, thundering under your palm.
And you’re not sure what comes over you then, what confidence it is that convinces you to push him over onto his back, and you sit upon him, and ride his cock.
Ten lifts a hand to your breasts, watching you with warm, sensual eyes as you seek your own orgasm. His thumb of his other hand finds your clit again, rubbing circles on the sensitive nub until you feel a pressure building low in your belly, the sweet build up that tingles from your belly to your toes and in your fingers, and Ten sits up, wraps an arm around your waist, his lips dance over your shoulder again, his thumb still building your pleasure, and you cry out, moaning and swearing and your orgasm overflows through you, and it grows more intense and then you hear Ten swear and you can feel your orgasm literally spilling from you as you squirt on his cock.
But it feels so good even as you’re overwhelmed with embarrassment. It takes you a moment to come down, wrapped around his softening erection, your belly and his sticky from your essence.
“That’s embarrassing,” you mumble when you’ve somewhat recovered.
Ten laughs. “No, it’s cute. I promise. Very cute.” He dips forward to kiss you. “You’re the cutest. I wish you could’ve seen yourself just then. So sexy and cute, pretty and wet and warm around me. Never wanna let you out of my arms again.”
He wrapped his arms tight around you and rolled you under him once more, showering your face in kisses until you’re laughing with him still inside you, a stranger sensation than anything yet.
After a while, Ten does pull out of you, leaving you to dispose of the condom. You go pee and get a glass of water, and then the pair of you crawl back into the big bed, drawn together under the covers like magnets, and you fall asleep tangled together like that.
In the morning, you’re woken by your manager knocking on the door, telling you that it’s already late, and you should be awake by now. You hear Miyeon’s voice as well, calling that she wants to go exploring, and she wants you to come with her.
But Ten’s still beside you in bed, looking sleepy and soft. You want to spend the morning with him, wrap yourself around him and draw pleasure from each other again, but Ten kisses your shoulder and climbs from the bed. “You should go. I’ll see you back in Seoul.”
You dress quickly, brushing your hair into a messy bun, and before you walk out the door, you snag Ten’s sweatshirt from the pile of his clothes on the floor and put it on.
If Miyeon or your manager notices the love bites peeking out from the collar of a sweatshirt that’s not yours, neither of them says a thing.
The End
a/n: this was not the story I originally intended. like I was going to write a bakery friends to lovers au with ten, but it became this instead oops. anyway I hope you enjoyed it! please let me know what you thought, like and reblogs are appreciated!
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Dear John - John B Routledge
Request: can i request dear john by taylor swift with John B
A/N: I love this song so much, I think it always gets over looked as just another breakup song but it really is deeper than that.
TS Anthology Masterlist | Outer Banks Masterlist
_ . ◦ ⭐︎:*.☾.*:⭐︎◦∙._
Maybe the ocean should’ve given away the temperate feeling that cascaded over you as you stepped off the ferry, or maybe you should’ve known that the Outer Banks wouldn’t feel like home any longer. Either way, the warning signs were ignored as you stood on the dock hands clutching onto the straps of your backpack, that familiar feeling settling into the pit of your stomach. The feeling that had haunted you for a year, a long, excruciating year, of nothing but emptiness. And if it wasn’t for Pope graduating you thought, you wouldn’t be here at all.
-
“I’m going to fall!” You’re voice felt like it echoed in the darkness as you climbed out of the window and onto the roof with John B, your hand gripping onto his.
“You’re not gonna fall, I’ve got you.” He promised, pulling you as your knees found ground, collapsing against him. “See?”
“I see,” you laughed, leaning into the space between the two of you to kiss him.
The sun was just rising and he’d woken you up, insisting that the two of you watch the morning sky together. You had stayed up late with him the night before because he couldn’t sleep, plagued by nightmares of his father out at sea, and had practically begged you to come over and ease them. Exhausted yourself, though feeling guilty instantly for thinking you’d rather sleep, you had snuck out of the house and gone to the chateau.
“Hey,” he nudged you when you leaned your head on his shoulder, “stay awake.”
“I am,” you promised.
“No, you’re falling asleep. I want you to see this.”
“I am, I promise.” You repeated, blinking back sleep to watch the sun.
-
The road back down the cut to the Chateau was etched into your memory. A recent hurricane had taken down the tree you always thought was shaped like an arm, reaching out to grip passers by in terror, dragging them back to the woods. It was cut up in pieces now, lying on the shoulder, defeated by the storm and then again by men with chainsaws determined not to let some old tree stand between them and the rest of the island.
You steadied your breathing as you drew closer, heart pounding in your chest as your mind did it’s best to conjure up images of John B. You couldn’t help yourself. You had gotten so far away that you told yourself you forgot what he looked like, what his town looked like, and yet each landmark seemed to jump out at you along the way, familiar to you, however changed. You wondered how much of that would be true of John B. If he too was familiar but changed and in what ways? A new coat of paint, like the Wreck, just a fresh color covering up all the disappointment and manipulation. Or would he be like the ghost tree, cut down and pushed aside, had he retired his condescension and his snark.
-
“No, of course not,” you swore, holding your phone against your ear as you sat up on your bed, trying to apply enough pressure to the heating pad on your stomach, “I just don’t feel good, JB, the last thing I wanna do is go out tonight.”
It wasn’t technically your anniversary, that had been three days prior, when John B was busy with ‘stuff’ as he so eloquently put it and couldn’t get together. He’d promised to make it up to you and tonight he had intended to fulfill that promise, which might’ve been fine if you weren’t laid up in bed with ginger ale and saltines, trying to keep anything down.
“Oh well, I’m sorry that the last thing you wanna do tonight is spend time with me!” He snapped and you could hear the sound of things being slammed around.
“That’s not what I said!” You snapped. You were exhausted, the stomach bug had kept you unable to relax for the entirety of the day and all you were really hoping for was a little relief now.
“Look whatever, you’re still pressed about not spending the actual day together but I rearranged my whole day just to go out tonight!”
You knew it was a lie, it wasn’t even a necessarily good one. But still, the anger in his voice would’ve made you get up and go out if you didn’t think you could puke at any given moment. “I’m not upset about the other day,” you promised, “I know you had work.” You replied, “I’m really sick though John B, ask Pope, he’ll tell you.” You just wanted him off your back and for a split second you failed to realize that telling him Pope knew you were sick would only send him into a tailspin.
“Ask Pope?” John B repeated, “should I call him or do you just wanna slide the phone over…maybe he could do a fake sick voice too?”
“He’s not here!” You snapped, frustrated and a little more confident since he wasn’t physically in your room, just a disembodied voice on a phone. “He came by earlier cause I called Heyward’s for groceries. God, what is your problem today?”
“My problem is that my girlfriend is unappreciative of the fact that I had other shit to do and I put it aside to take you out.”
“I’m sick!” You practically yelled it, hanging up the phone and throwing it across the room before pulling your blankets over your head and closing your eyes. The phone rang again, ten more times in total but you ignored the calls, trying to get some sleep. Maybe tomorrow John B would be feeling different, better.
-
You pulled off the road and down the dirt driveway that Big John had always sworn he was going to pave. It had never happened, mostly because saying things and doing them were not actions easily connected in either of the Routledge’s minds. You parked behind an older Subaru that you recognised as Kiara’s, a ‘save the turtles’ bumper sticker on display near the license plate.
There were other cars, some familiar to you, like Luke Maybank’s truck, no doubt driven over by JJ, or Sarah’s SUV, but there were other cars you didn’t recognise. Ones that belonged to people you didn’t know well enough or know at all. You cut the engine but didn’t open the door, sitting there in the yard just staring at the house. Could you do this? Could you walk back in there? Would the parts of you that had taken so long to reconstruct, the pieces that you had to reassemble into some new version of a past you, survive inside that place?
It had been some months, years really, since you had run. Not so long that you had erased all the bad memories but long enough that they no longer played on a loop in your mind. John B wasn’t your only example of love, just the worst one.
The car door felt heavy when you shut it though not so much as the screen door on the porch of the chateau. It was Sarah who answered when you knocked, graduation gift tucked securely under your arm. She hugged you, looking a little more tired than you remembered and you wondered how much of a place you had to step in and say something. Was she there yet? That desperate place where she would listen because this wasn’t what she remembered wanting.
“How’re you?” You had never been mad at Sarah. Everyone always acted like you were, they scarcely talked about her, as if you were waiting for the chance to villainize her. In actuality, you liked Sarah, she was too good for this.
“Good,” her smile strained, “we didn’t think you’d make it.”
“I promised Pope I’d be at his graduation.” You replied, stepping inside with her. Pope looked up at the sound of his name, smiling at you, “I never break a promise.”
-
You stood there in the Chateau, eyes cast just to the side of John B as he tried to explain some trip to Chapel Hill that he took. You stared down the picture of his mom, smiling, and wondered if Big John was the same sort of man his son had become. Had she left because she was selfish or because she wanted her freedom back?
“…and I needed to get into the college to see the paper-“ he kept going, overfilling the story with details you didn’t think actually mattered at all.
“So what’s your point?” You tried again to get him there. Maybe it was the after effects of being sick but the exhaustion that you’d been feeling for the past year and a half had crept into your bones and settled there, wrapping you up like a blanket. You had no other way to explain yourself other than to say that you felt done. Done with this conversation, with his roundabout way of telling you something you didn’t want to hear, as if he got brownie points for ‘breaking the news’ delicately.
“Sarah and I kissed.” John B replied.
“Oh.” What emotion did he want you to have, which did he think you were still capable of mustering?
“I don’t love you anymore, I don’t think I ever did.”
You had to agree, really. You hoped he didn’t, at least, because if this was the way John B loved people, by draining them of any kind of life at all, you hated yourself even more for hanging on.
-
“Oh my god!” Kiara hugged you next, followed by Pope. John B was by the table, you had seen him immediately, waited for the ache but it didn’t come. He was watching you though, as if he was assessing the damage. “You look good,” Kiara said, “happy.
“Yeah,” you nodded, smiling, “I am.”
The house was just a house after all, just walls put together and not a prison. And John B was just a boy.
-
Taglist: @heavenlymama @vindictive-hearts @alexa-playafricabytoto @dontjinx-it @randomficsandshit @niamhobrien @strangerthanfanfiction713 @tovvaa @freckled-and-daydreaming @harleylynn @bibliophilewednesday @dpaccione @bolaurel @poguestyleskye @beautyandthebleh @under-a-canyon-moon @mysterious-adventurer @minigranger @obxsummer
#obx fanfiction#obx fanfic#outer banks fanfiction#obx imagine#outer banks imagine#outer banks fanfic#collecting stories imagine#obx fic#outer banks fic#john b fanfiction#john b fanfic#john b routledge x reader#john b imagine#john b fic#john b x reader#john b x y/n#john b x you#john b routledge x y/n#john b routledge x you#john b routledge fanfiction#john b routledge fic#john b routledge imagine#john b routledge fanfic#ts anthology series
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The Bribe
Chapter 10 - Together - Adam & Ellie.
A/N: Once again thanks for brainstorming ideas lovely @aussieez you are a star! I’m thinking of finishing this series soon, when I finally published it a few months ago after it being sat on my laptop for almost 10 months I didn’t think anyone would read it let alone actually enjoy it! So thank you for sticking with this A&E series I always love your lovely comments they make my day! This chapter is from both F!MC & M!MC POV. I’m so nervous about this chapter you’ll ever love it or hate it! ATM I am typing with only 8 fingers so I’m hoping I removed the mistakes!🤦♀️ I hope you like it! 😘
If you like it let me know or if you don’t still tell me why I won’t be offended!
I am only tagging those who have asked to be tagged in this series from now on as I don’t want to annoying people with tags. So Let me know if you would like to be tagged and if I missed anyone sorry just let me know!
Find previous chapters HERE under Together - Adam & Ellie.
Song: Alicia Keys - In Common The chorus in this reminds me of A&E’s blackmailing ways.
Word count: 2234
WARNINGS: ⚠️ Fluffy fluff, Angst & adult language.
Pairings: Adam x Ellie.
Enjoy!
F!MC POV
He hangs up the phone before putting the phone to his ear again, I jump down off the counter "Adam, what is it?"
He turns away from me "Nan, I just got your message"
"Adam?"
"One minute beautiful" he mouths to me.
"WHAT! You have got to be joking! I don't think so. I'll ask her hang on, Ellie have the police called you?"
I pull out my phone "I forgot to take it off silent, I have a missed call"
"Call them back and ask for an update on your case. Nan I've got to go. Will do bye"
I redial the number that called me "Hi, It's Ellie Barlow. I had a missed call from you. OK, thank you....Oh, so you've dropped the charges against her altogether?" Adam's face turns to stormy, I feel like my legs turn to jelly"Right, OK, well, thanks for letting me know" I hang up, my mind is trying to process what just happened, I don't hear Adam until he grasps my shoulders.
"Ellie? What do you mean dropped the charges?"
"Adam, they dropped the charges against her due to not enough evidence, some story she's given them about me being jealous because she's your ex, she....she even has an alibi saying she was nowhere near your office" my chest becomes tight "Adam, I can't breathe!"
"Hey Ellie let's sit down and take some deep breaths OK. Come on," He walks me over to the kitchen table "Now deep breaths in 1...2...3...4 and out 1...2...3...4" we repeat this until I've calmed down.
"What do I do now? They made me feel like I was lying!"
He lifts my chin to look up at him "Hey, we will sort this when we get home, I promise you. For now there isn't anything we can do so let's just enjoy our time away forget about it"
I smile softly "You're right, Do you think your parents will mind if we stay one more day I don't want to go back yet. I know you have work..."
He pulls me towards his chest "Hey! I'm call Rob explain he won't mind. If you need another day then that's what you will get. Plus I think mum will be over the moon we're staying an extra day" I hear him chuckle.
~*~*~*~
"Ellie, Wakey-wakey!"
I stir "Hmm?"
"There's my beautiful wife, come on we're going to bed late," I look at him confused "While you've been snoring me, Mum and Dad came up with something to do today. Something you said you've wanted to do in the past"
"What? Go back to sleep a little while longer?!" I put the duvet over my head blocking out the light.
I feel his knees sink into the mattress either side of me "Hey Come on, get up" he pulls the duvet away.
I look up at him hovering over me "Can't we just spend the day in bed?"
He leans in to kiss my cheek "As much as I would love that, no, not today. Now get up lazy bones before I make you?"
Before I can ask what he means he starts tickling me, "Ahhh!" I shriek "OK, OK I'll get up"
"Thought you might" he smirks.
~*~*~*~
"ARCHERY? We are doing archery? Is it safe to do?"
"Hey, do you really think I would let my pregnant wife do something that wasn't safe?"
"I suppose not" I roll my eyes.
"Its safe as long as you don't step in front the fired arrows"
I snort "Well, duh. But I say let's make this interesting"
He raises his brows "How?"
"The loser is at mercy to the winner?"
"OK, if I win I want you to wear nothing to bed tonight"
I chuckle "Shh! Your patents will hear!"
He looks over at them "Their busy talking to the instructor. Chosen your prize?"
I pretend to think for a minute "Yours is just obvious, but mine will be you have to say yes to anything I ask you to do today!"
His smile drops "What?!"
I wink "What? You wish you had thought of that? Or are you scared"
"Nope! Bring it on beautiful!"
We are on our second rounds Adam has 7 points I got 9 and just scored another 10 "I thought you said you haven't done this before Ellie?"
He takes his second go and scores an 8 "I haven't! I've only done it on the Wii sports!"
He laughs, "You're telling me that I am losing to someone who learned to play on a computer game?!"
"Well you can give up now"
"Not over until it's over baby"
I take my turn and score a 10 "There isn't any point of taking my last go. I've lost!"
"Aww, come on Adam you might win" I laugh. He takes his go and hits a 10 "Well done! Mister"
His arms wrap around me "Looks like I'm your Yes man for the day. What's your first request?"
"Hmm, let me think....kiss me?"
He doesn't answer instead his lips crash to mine "If your request are like this I'm going to have as much fun as you"
"Hey you two have you finished?" Al calls over.
Adam pulls his lips away from mine, his gaze still on mine giving me butterflies "Yes, Dad, we are done"
"Who won?" Nina calls over as they make their way over to us.
I turn in their direction "I did!"
"Yes, well done Ellie! I won too!" Nina hand slaps against mine as we high five.
"We have a cocktail making at home Ellie I found some alcohol free cocktail recipes for you," she pulls me along with her towards the car.
~*~*~*~
"Ellie, I am not drinking that!" he pushes the glass back towards me.
"Oh, come on I made it especially for you. and I'm asking you to. You have to say yes"
"But it looks like vomit! What is it?"
I push it back towards him "It raspberry mojito. The floaty bits in there are raspberries I crushed as we didn't have raspberry puree. Now drink"
He rolls his eyes "Fine" he takes a sip "It's not to bad actually"
"Told you! Now let me make you a blue lagoon!"
"Be careful Adam it looks like she's trying to get you drunk to have her wicked way with you" Nina is very tipsy.
"Nina!!" Al laughs.
"Hate to tell you but she doesn't need to get me drunk for that!" he winks at me.
"Adam!!" I blush, I end up making a jug for the 3 of them then another.
Nina is giggling to herself "What's so funny mum?"
"In the toilet I noticed something stick your tongue out" Al and Adam pokes their tongues out she laughs harder.
I'm so confused "What's so funny Nina?"
"Our tongues are blue. We look like we've given a Smurf a blowjob!" She howls, I snort with laughter.
"OK Nina, I think it's time we got you to bed!" Al starts lifting her up from her seat.
"Ooo Al are you taking me to bed?" she says with a flirty tone.
"Mum!"
"Oh come on Adam like you two haven't been at it like rabbits since you got here" Nina giggles.
"Nina, lets get you to bed" Al leads her towards the stairs. "Night guys" Al calls over his shoulders as he's ushering Nina up the stairs.
"Your mum is hilarious when she's drunk" I wrap my arms around his neck as he's sat on the bar stool.
"It's funny when it isn't your parents! But she is right about being at it like rabbits" he picks me up and pulls me onto his lap wrapping my legs around him.
I feel his beard tickles my neck followed by his lip "Not here Adam"
"They won't be back down"
"Take me to bed"
He sighs pulling away to look at me "Yes beautiful"
~*~*~*~
M!MC POV
"Rob I'm just going to grab some lunch I'll see you in an hour"
"OK, mate" He calls back from the office. As I walk pass Bridezillas I spot it (I wonder if you can see it from the office?) I walk back to the office and you can still see it but just about!
I make my way back over to Bridezillas "Adam, Ellie isn't here today she's meeting with a supplier"
"Yeah, I know. Jess that CCTV on the corner is that Bridezillas?"
"Oh, what the one at the front of the alley? Yeah Ellie had them putting a few weeks after she moved in there one covering the entrance and there is another down the alley"
"Can I take a look at the footage?"
"Yeah of course" she does something on the laptop then hands it to me.
I take it to Ellie's office, I look through the video clips until I find the day it happened.
12.50 PM
I watch Laura walk through the door of the office in the top left corner.
1.03 PM
I see Ellie do the same.
1.08 PM
Laura leaves in a rush.
1.10 PM
Rob walks into the office.
1.19 PM
I watch myself arrive.
1.22 PM
The ambulance arrive.
"GOTCHA!" I send the clip to my email and save a copy onto the USB I have on my keys before closing down the program and handling the laptop back to Jess. "Quick question, have the police been in touch to look at the CCTV?"
"Erm..no they haven't, but to be honest its for the flat entrance not the shop so we kinda forget it's there"
"OK, thanks" I leave the shop and send a text.
[Meet me at the cafe in 10 minutes!]
I sit out the front of the cafe waiting with a coffee, I don't know what I spot first her pixie cut or the smell of her cheap perfume. "Adam, I was surprised to hear from you, have you've realized what a liar your wife is!" My blood boils (Keep calm) "You didn't get me a coffee?"
"I'll warn you once do not talk about my wife like that! Why would I get you a coffee?"
"OK, I see she still has her crawls firmly in you. What is it you want?" she hiss hurt.
"You to leave Manchester for good"
She cackles "Why would I want to do that?"
"Because if you don't, not only will you go down and you'll drag your mum with you. How do you think a 65 year old woman will survive in prison?" she looks at me confused "Giving a false alibi is a criminal offence"
"Still trying to pin Ellie's fall on me? Guess what! I wasn't there when it happened"
"But you had an appointment at five to one?"
"I did, but I was late by the time I got there, there was an ambulance there"
"I have proof to prove otherwise" I load up the CCTV footage as it's playing her face goes pale.
"Where did you get that?"
"My pregnant wife forgot about the CCTV she had installed. I guess she didn't realize it covers my office door"
Her face turns to fury "Why haven't you taken it to the police?"
"Well, we tried to do it the right way, and they let you go. Plus, if I take it to the police you'll get anything from 3 to 7 years but I want you out of our lives for good"
"So I'm suppose to up and leave because you say so?"
"No, but if you don't this goes to the police. Both you and your mum will go down"
"Then I'll tell them about this conversation and how you tried to blackmail me to leave"
I laugh, "I have no idea what she's talking about officer, I simply brought her to the cafe to ask her to say away from me and my wife, I knew nothing about the CCTV footage until my wife sent it me via email asking if it were enough evidence to prove she had attacked her. You see the thing about the police once you lie they don't trust a word you say after that"
"How can I trust you won't go to the police even if I do leave?"
"You don't! You just have to believe the fact I want you out of our lives forever is motive enough not to"
"But what if I need to come back for a family emergency?"
"Not my problem, but if you do step foot back here for any reason this goes straight to the police"
"Fine, I'll be gone by the end of the week" she hisses.
"No! Tonight!"
"But I can't just up and leave. Not with just a few hours notice"
"I couldn't care less. Tonight or tomorrow you'll get taken away in cuffs" I stand to leave, I bend down and lean in close enough so only she can hear "Your choice!" I hear my phone as I leave.
*1 New Message from Beautiful*
[Hey can you meet me at the house? x]
[Hi, yep see you in a few. Hope everything is ok? xx]
I head home once inside I see Ellie on the sofa "Hey beautiful, What's up?"
She looks up at me with a blank stare "I saw you," she doesn't look at me, her words are almost a whisper.
"Saw me?"
She huffs "I saw you with her outside the cafe. Why were you with her?"
"It's not what it looks like I promise. I wanted to keep you out of this, but we promised no secrets. Ellie I've sorted it she won't be bothering us anymore"
"What? How?"
Continue reading this story here - Chapter 11
@lem-20 @khoicesbyk @aussieez @txemrn @irisofpurple @shewillreadyou
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Kirby Dach: If I Can’t Have You By Shawn Mendes
Word count: 2629
Music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTJ-oqwxdZY
Lyrics video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6_9CF1ucoI
I can’t write one song that’s not about you
Can’t drink without thinking about you
I don’t drink often. I tell my friends that it’s because I’m afraid to lose control and I don’t like the feeling of waking up with no idea of what happened the night prior. That’s part of it, but really, the main reason I don’t like to drink is because of Kirby Dach.
Everytime I drink, all I can think about is Kirby. What is Kirby doing right now? I wonder if Kirby scored tonight. What do you think Kirby ate for dinner? How long do you think Kirby’s hair is compared to the last time that I saw him?
I can’t get Kirby out of my mind as soon as a drop of liquor is in my body.
Is it too late to tell you that
Everything means nothing if I can’t have you
He and I decided to keep it lowkey. We decided that since he’s going to be focused on hockey in Chicago and I’m going to be focused on school in Toronto, it wouldn’t be good for either of us to enter a committed relationship.
That was eight months ago. And slowly, text by text, FaceTime call after FaceTime call, my feelings towards him have started to change. I feel more attached to him, I want to hold his hand and pull him around Toronto and show him all of the landmarks.
I want to tell him about my classes and hear about whatever stupid thing Adam said today, but it’s too late. This ‘no strings attached’ situation has set in by now. He thinks we’re both content where we are, so I don’t want to rock the boat.
I’m in Toronto and I got this view
But I might as well be in a hotel room (Yeah)
It doesn’t matter ’cause I’m so consumed
Spending all my nights reading texts from you
Toronto is a beautiful city. From the needle to the towering buildings to the bustling streets, there’s so much activity and always something to look at. And I remember that once in a while, if I’m not too busy looking at my phone.
I’m either waiting for a text from Kirby, which is far and few between these days, or reading old conversations that I’ve had with him. Some of them still make me laugh. Most of them just make me miss him even more.
Oh, I’m good at keeping my distance
I know, that you’re the feeling I’m missing
You know that I hate to admit it
But everything means nothing if I can’t have you
Kirby: We’re in Toronto for a game soon. Do you wanna go and hang out after? ;)
I bite my lip, trying to find the best way to let him down. I can’t see him in person, I know that if I do he’ll see all the love in my eyes and that can’t happen. So I just need to slowly cut him out of my life, and that starts with the hookups everytime he comes into the city.
Y/N: Can’t
My phone instantly vibrates with an incoming call from him. I hold it in my hand, watching as it buzzes. It stops just to start again with another incoming call. I want to answer, everything in my bones is screaming at me to answer, but my brain is telling me that I shouldn’t.
I can’t write one song that’s not about you
Can’t drink without thinking about you
Is it too late to tell you that
Everything means nothing if I can’t have you
“He’s been calling me forever,” I whine to my friends later that night, the fourth or fifth or sixth alcoholic beverage in my hand.
“Just answer already, tell him how you feel!” Another friend just as sloshed as me tells me.
I nod, clicking the answer button as soon as Kirby calls again. “Kur-bye, you-ou keep calling me.”
“Yeah, I’m trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with you,” he responds. “Are you drunk?”
“Wasted,” I laugh.
“Oh my god,” I hear him groan.
“Well I wouldn’t have to get drunk if you just, if you would just, date me,” I stumble through the sentence.
“What?”
The familiar tune of a song that I’ve had on repeat blasts through the speakers of the nightclub that I’ve been spending my time in. I gasp in excitement, “I love this song! Bye, Kur-bee.”
I can’t write one song that’s not about you
Can’t drink without thinking about you
Is it too late to tell you that
Everything means nothing if I can’t have you
My head is throbbing when I wake up and I groan, reluctantly reaching for my phone. I just want to check and see if my school or boss sent me anything that I need to respond to immediately before burrowing back into my sheets, but I freeze when I see the multiple texts, phone calls, and voicemails left from the one person I was drinking to forget.
Kirby: Can you answer your phone? We need to talk about this
Kirby: I’ve called you five times now please answer
Kirby: I’m guessing you went to bed by now. I’ll call you tomorrow to talk
The last thing that I remember about last night was coming back from the bathroom to the girls giving me my fourth drink of the night. What do we need to talk about? What the hell happened last night?
There are two voicemails so I nervously click the speaker button on the first one, noticing it’s only a couple of seconds so it can’t be too bad.
“Hey Y/N, just answer your phone. I just want to talk things out with you, please. Come on.”
He sounds like he’s almost pleading in that one. I must have said something really wrong to get Kirby to sound like that- he’s usually a very confident and cheerful person.
Then I click on the next one. “Um, so I don’t know if you’re avoiding me or sleeping or if you’re sleeping with someone else… we really should discuss what you told me on the phone tonight. I know you sounded drunk but uh, you know what they say, drunk words are sober thoughts. Call me back, or I’ll probably call you back, but please come to the game when I’m in Toronto so we can talk about what happened tonight. Okay. Bye.”
My heart breaks word by word. I have no recollection of what I said to him while plastered last night. What did he mean by drunk words being sober thoughts? I wonder if I told him about my feelings for him that he doesn’t return and he just wants to talk to let me down slowly. That’s probably it, he just wants to tell me, “It’s not you, it’s me.”
But it is me. It was me who had to catch feelings for him. It’s me who has yearnings to explore Chicago with him and sit with the other wives and girlfriends at the games.
So I don’t need to hear his excuses. There is no need to talk to Kirby Dach anymore.
I’m so sorry that my timing is off
But I can’t move on if we’re still gonna talk
Jay is not Kirby. Jay has some similarities to Kirby- they both like the Edmonton Oilers and having sex with me. But Jay is far from Kirby. He doesn’t ask me about my day like Kirby did or listen to the stupid jokes I would tell just to hear his laugh.
But Jay is enough right now. He sits beside me on the couch, watching a YouTube video with me on my phone. It’s two weeks into our relationship and slowly, Kirby has taken my hint of not wanting to talk to him. He called multiple times a day for the first couple of days, then it slowed to once a day, and now it’s every couple of days.
I’m waiting for the day that the calls stop.
But I’m not waiting in a good way.
The video suddenly stops as an incoming call from ‘Kirby Dach’ pops up. It definitely doesn’t help that the screen is of a picture I took cozied up with him after a great night.
Is it wrong for me to not want half
I want all of you, all the strings attached
Oh, I’m good at keeping my distance
“Why is Kirby Dach calling you?” Jay asks sternly.
I shrug, avoiding eye contact with him. I feel like it’s too personal to tell him- my relationship with Kirby was always very personal. “We’re friends.”
“You can’t be friends with a Blackhawks player,” his tone is laced with disgust and I lift my eyes, narrowing them at him.
I’m already pissed off by the fact that he thinks that he can tell me who I can and can’t be friends with, but I decide to entertain him. “Why not?”
“The Blackhawks are such a dirty team. DeBrincat laid that dirty hit on Bear…” He drones on and I stop listening to him. This conversation is ridiculous, Jay is ridiculous, this relationship is ridiculous, this whole situation is ridiculous.
“Get out.”
“What?” He asks in surprise.
“Get out. You’re not going to sit here and talk about him and his teammates like that,” I holler. I think we’re both shocked by the amount of rage that my voice holds. “He was drafted third overall, he’s very talented, he’s playing for a team packed with Stanley Cup winners. Get out if you’re going to disrespect Kirby like that.”
Jay leaves with little protest. And funnily enough, all that I want is Kirby’s arms wrapped around me.
I know, that you’re the feeling I’m missing
You know that I hate to admit it
But everything means nothing if I can’t have you
It’s been a month. Kirby hasn’t tried to contact me since he called me while Jay was there. I know it’s my fault for losing him- I should’ve answered his calls, returned his texts, and FaceTimed him when I needed him.
I should have gone to his game. I regret staying home and eating ice cream instead.
When the Hawks are playing the Leafs, he likes to see me in the crowd. He likes to see the one red jersey in the sea of blue, he likes to pass the puck with Alex in front of where I’m sitting, he likes to look at me with his eyes sparkling whenever he gets a goal or assist.
I avoid seeing the score of the game. In fact, I avoid social media as a whole. I don’t want to see how happy Kirby is without me. I don’t want him to be miserable, of course, but I’m just not ready to see that beaming smile on his face that should be directed at me.
That would be directed at me if I didn’t stop talking to him. But it wouldn’t be in the way that I want him to be smiling at me.
I can’t write one song that’s not about you
Can’t drink without thinking about you
Is it too late to tell you that
Everything means nothing if I can’t have you
A warm bath and a glass of wine have always helped me relax. I’ve used it as a way to clear my mind, a way to discover how I’m truly feeling about everything.
The wine in my glass tastes bitter as I stare down at the burgundy liquid. I feel like I’m always drinking. If I’m not drinking to forget, I’m drinking to feel something.
And all I can feel right now is longing. I miss Kirby. Even if I would be friendzoned it would be worth it just to have the brunette in my life. Kirby gave me so much more happiness than I realized he did- through ‘good morning, how are you?’ texts to funny memes he would find on Instagram. I would always smile when I saw his name on my phone.
Now I feel like I just have my phone and a missing piece of my heart.
I can’t write one song that’s not about you
Can’t drink without thinking about you
Is it too late to tell you that
Everything means nothing if I can’t have you
It’s two months too long without Kirby. And he tried to reach out to me for a month, so how much longer do I have before he forgets me completely? Before he finds another girl to make smile or laugh?
How much longer do I have to win Kirby’s heart? My eyes widen in horror at the thought of it already being won by someone else. My heartbeat picks up and it’s then that I know.
I’m in love with Kirby Dach. And I need to tell him. I need to woman up and stop ignoring him. I need to communicate and tell him my feelings like an adult, even if it might crush me in the end.
My wet hand reaches over the side of the bathtub for my phone, ignoring the fact that I’m getting water all of it before pulling up Kirby’s contact. It rings and rings for what feels like years. He never answers.
I know what I need to do. I need to go to Chicago.
I’m trying, to move on, forget you, but I hold on
Everything means nothing, everything means nothing, babe
I stare out the window of the airplane at the vast blue sky and the few clouds in it. I just know my friends would call me crazy if they saw me right now. They would tell me that the best way to move on is to get under someone new, and I tried that with Jay, but I can never get over Kirby.
At least not without closure.
I don’t think I want someone new. Kirby is familiar but he’s comfortable. I know who I am with Kirby and I know who he is too.
I’m trying, to move on, forget you, but I hold on
Everything means nothing if I can’t have you
I can’t write one song that’s not about you
Can’t drink without thinking about you
He gave me his address once when I wanted to send him a care package. I found some socks and soaps that I thought he would love, so he told me the address of Brent and Dayna Seabrook’s house and opened the box on FaceTime with me.
I remember his cheer as he saw the pug faces on the socks and the satisfied sigh when he smelled the vanilla of the soap.
I smile at the memory, nervously fumbling with the seatbelt of the Uber I’m taking from the hotel I’m staying at to the Seabrooks’ house. I should’ve checked the Hawks schedule before even booking my ticket, but I remembered to do it on my flight and was relieved to find that they had two days off starting today.
So if all goes well, Kirby has two days to spend with me. If all does not go well, I have two days to explore this city by myself.
I hope it’s the first option so much I cross my fingers so tight that they’re white.
Is it too late to tell you that
Everything means nothing if I can’t have you
I knock on the front door anxiously, balancing from my heels to my toes as I wait for someone to open the door. I hear footsteps and a beautiful brunette pulls the door open, giving me a questioning smile.
“Um, hi, um, is Kirby here?” I inquire, shoving my sweaty hands into my pockets.
“Yes, he is. Who are you?” Her tone sounds more curious than accusatory, so I’m assuming Kirby doesn’t have many girls around here. I’m relieved about that fact.
“Y/N,” I answer.
“Oh! Yeah, I know you, Kirby’s talked about you,” she connects the dots and her smile fades a bit, “Why aren’t you in Toronto right now?”
“I need to tell Kirby that I love him in person,” I blurt out before I can stop myself. “Oh, I’m sorry-”Her giggle cuts me off. “No worries, I’ll go get him for you. Please, come in.”
I wait in the foyer of their gorgeous house, looking around with wide eyes. So this is where Kirby spends most of the year. He eats in this kitchen, plays with the kids in the living room, and practices stickhandling in that backyard.
My thoughts get cut off by the sound of feet coming up the stairs from the basement. I feel my eyebrows twitch and I bite my lip in anticipation. It’s now or never.
I can’t write one song that’s not about you
Can’t drink without thinking about you
Is it too late to tell you that
Everything means nothing if I can’t have you
“Y/N?” His hair does look longer. It’s covered by a hat put on backwards, and a baggy sweater that I’ve worn a time or two before covers his torso. “What are you doing here? Don’t you have a big project due next week?”
My heart swells at the fact that he remembered that. “I do. But I need to tell you something.”
“Okay?” He urges me to continue.
I take a deep breath. “I love you.”
A wide grin spread across his face. That sparkle that I’ve been dying to see returns to his eyes and he takes a step closer towards he then stops, like he’s in disbelief. “Really?”
“Really,” I breathe out. Unable to stop myself, I take a few steps forward, closing the gap between us, and lift my lips to meet his.
Even though we’ve kissed before, this kiss is different. This kiss holds so much meaning, so much passion. We know how we feel about each other now, we no longer have to hide it.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” he whispers against my lips.
“Me too.”
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Can a Skeleton be Ticklish?
Arial was spending time with the Sanders sides, and reading something on her tickle fanfic page. But Arial didn't realize until it was too late, that Roman was reading her phone and now knew her secret. But...Perhaps it might've been for the better?
This prompt was sent in by @smileheart110, and features their Undertale OC, Arial. I hope you enjoy the fanfic! And if I got anything about your OC wrong, feel free to let me know in the comment or in DM's. Thanks!
This work features a shoutout to @fluffymary! I'm a HUGE fan of your fanart!
Arial was visiting the sides for a little while today. She had eaten a really warm soup and sandwich lunch meal with Patton and some of the others, and was now just hanging out in the living room with Patton and Roman. Roman was coloring in a coloring book on her left, while Patton was playing angry birds on his own phone.
What was Arial doing?
Well...She was looking at fanart on Tumblr that was made by @fluffymary! There were tons of really good fanarts of the Sanders Sides, coincidentally. Looking at the pictures were making her a little flustered, but it depended on what spots the fanart focused on. Why she was looking at fanart instead of just declaring a tickle war in the middle of the living room?
Easy: Too embarrassing. As much as she’d love to, something told her a few of the sides wouldn’t be quite as amused with her childish endeavors. Specifically...Logan.
Arial soon moved on and looked down a list of lee questions. It didn’t take long for her face to flush a light magenta color. Whoops...Guess she didn’t really think this through...Now her face is all flushed and they’re all gonna notice because it’s magenta contrasting with her snow white skull. What’s she gonna say if they notice and bring something up?
“Hey Arial! Look!” Patton said to her, pointing to his phone. Arial just about jumped 5 feet, but managed to keep her composure while she looked at Patton. The phone was showing her a video of a puppy that was trying to learn to howl, but was doing a lot more baby babbles than actual howls. Arial burst out laughing and allowed her face to flush with color again. This was worth being flustered at!
“Awwww! Babbling pup!” Arial reacted.
“I know!” Patton reacted before pulling his phone away.
Arial smiled and thought of the puppy for a little longer, before focusing back on the reblogged questions. She had started to determine which numbers to answer, when she froze and looked to her right side. Roman had stopped coloring in his book and was now reading her phone!
Uh oh…
“Uuuuuh…” was all Arial could get out of her mouth.
“Can I see the phone?” Roman asked.
Arial widened her eyes and looked at him with nervous eyes. She looked down at her phone, before slowly looking back at the man who had caught her in the act. Should she give him the phone to lessen suspicion? Or should she tell him no so that she doesn’t get any more embarrassed than she already is?
Finally, Arial handed him her phone. Roman started reading the questions and picked the second one. “Would you rather be tickled on your worst spot for 5 minutes? Or on 5 less ticklish spots for 1 minute?” Roman asked out of nowhere.
Arial’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. The other sides had looked up from their entertainment to listen to the question and hear the answer. Arial felt like she wanted to sink into the void hidden under her seat and hide in space forever. Did he just seriously ask her that?
Not fully in control of her actions, Arial slowly hid her feet under the couch. “Uuuuuuh…” Arial muttered.
“Worst spot for 5 minutes, or 5 not as bad spots for 1 minute?” Roman repeated.
“5 spots for one minute.” Arial got out quick.
“Alright. Would you rather see someone else get tickled? Or have someone watch you get tickled?” Roman asked, still reading off her phone.
Arial grabbed her hair and hid her face behind her newfound hair curtains. “See someone else get tickled.”
Roman chuckled. “Would you rather be tickled with tools? Or just fingers?” Roman asked with a smirk. Arial squeaked like a mouse and sunk deeper into her seat. To make matters worse, Roman had summoned a hairbrush, a toothbrush AND a feather! All in one hand! The moment she looked up and saw THAT freaking bundle, Arial shrieked and fell into Patton’s side.
Patton giggled. “Uh oh! Is Arial flustered?” Patton teased. “Because I hate to break it to you…” Patton leaned in really close to her ear hole, “...but you just bumped into the biggest tickle monster in the house.” Patton whispered.
“Hey! I heard that! I thought I was the ultimate tickle monster?!” Roman protested.
“I mean...You are a close second…” Patton let him know. “You’re my assistant!” Patton explained.
Arial didn’t know how much more of this she could take. “Are you ticklish by any chance?” Patton asked.
“Can skeletons even be ticklish without nerves?” Virgil asked.
“Actually, bones have nerves hidden within the blood vessels that bring blood through the bones. Not only that, but bones can also contain nerve endings within the bone marrow. So anatomically, Arial could be ticklish.” Logan piped up.
Arial gulped and looked towards Logan. Logan just sent her a wink, which sent chills down her spine. Then, she looked at Roman. But Roman, being the hidden devil he was, booped Arial on the nose hole with the feather. Arial slapped the feather out of his hand. “Knock it off!” Arial ordered, growing slightly annoyed.
Suddenly, Patton wrapped his arms around her. “Uh oh! Looks like someone is getting a little impatient! Could I at least hear a pleeeeaaaase?” Patton asked with an innocent voice.
Arial whined. Did she seriously have to say please in order to get tickles from them? “I wanna hear a please first…” Roman told her.
“You gonna ask? Or you gonna stay quiet?” Patton teased.
Finally, Arial gained a slight bit of courage to say it. “Please?” Arial asked.
“Please...what?” Patton asked.
Arial whined yet again. SERIOUSLY?! “Pleasetickleme?” Arial asked.
“I think I might’ve understood what you said, but...I think I need to hear it again...just to make-”
“PLEEEEAAASE TICKLE ME!” Arial yelled.
Roman widened his eyes. “Oh my…”
Patton chuckled. “I appreciate that you said it, but I didn’t really like HOW you said it.” Patton told her. Arial let out a toddler-like whine. “Can you please ask me again...but with less attitude?” Paton asked.
Arial growled and finally shoved her hands into Patton’s sides. “AriaAAAHAHAHAHA! Nohohow hold on there, Arial!” Patton laughed, unable to stop himself from laughing from the accidental, aggressive tickles.
“You’re frustrating the poor girl, Patton. Let me help:” Roman suggested before skittering his fingers on her ribs. “Besides, I’ve always wondered how ticklish you might be.” Roman added.
Arial let out a squeal and started giggling almost immediately. “Wooooow! Not even holding anything back, huh?” Roman reacted. Logan looked over at Arial and smiled.
“I see you have ticklish ribs!” Logan commented. “Makes sense.”
“But just HOW ticklish are these ribs?” Roman asked before drumming his fingers up and down her ribs.
“NononONONOOOHOHOHOHOHO!” ROHOHOHOMAHAHAHAN!” Arial bursted out laughing.
“Whaaaat?” Roman replied.
“IHIHIHIT TIHIHIHICKLEHEHEHES!” Arial yelled at him.
Logan chuckled and got up. “I will remind you that you were actually asking for this.” Logan added as he walked up to the scene.
“THAHAHAT WAHAHAS UHUHUHUNCAHAHAHALLED FOHOHOR!” Arial protested.
“Uncalled for, you claim?” Logan reacted. “Okay. Let’s play it that way then.” Logan sat down at the end of the couch and grabbed her ankle. “Is thiiiis uncalled for too?” Logan asked as he skittered his fingers on her feet.
Arial let out a loud, high-pitched SCREAM! She wanted to protest against him, but her cackles and quick loss of breath stopped her from even trying to talk! Logan stopped tickling her foot almost immediately. “WOW...That was...very unexpected.” Logan admitted.
“I guess her feet are her death spot!” Roman reacted. “Now, how ticklish are your armpits?” Roman asked rhetorically before lifting her right arm up past her head. Roman didn’t waste a second and had dug into her armpit almost immediately!
“OOOHOHOHO GAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HOHOHOHOW DAHAHAHAHARE!” Arial yelled at him.
“Oh, you don’t think I dare touch the ticklish skeleton’s armpits? I most definitely dare!” Roman replied. “I even dare to ask Logan and Patton to join me!” Roman added.
Logan smiled and winked. “I’d love to help!” Logan replied.
“I’ve been waiting very patiently! Now is my time to SHIIINE!” Patton shouted before kneeling in front of the couch. Patton brought his hand up to her belly and was about to start tickling it. But...the shirt caved right in. Patton widened his eyes and lifted her shirt up a bit. There was indeed no belly to tickle! “...What?” Patton asked.
“IHIHIHI’M AHAHA SKEHEHELETOHOHON! IHIHI DOHOHON’T HAHAHAVE AHA BEHEHELLY!” Arial explained.
Patton frowned and crossed his arms at first. But it didn’t take long for Patton to try going fo her pelvic hollows on either side. Arial squealed and fell into a hysterical laughing fit almost right away! She was swaying her body left and right, yet still couldn’t shake Patton’s hands off her upper hips. “There we go! Tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle, Arial!” Patton teased. “Who’s got such ticklish hips? Remember, no lying! Cause girls with your kind of hips CAN’T lie!” Patton teased.
Roman and Arial both bursted out laughing at that weird comment. “WHAHAHAT DOHOHOES THAHAHAHAT MEHEHEHEAN?!” Arial asked.
Patton giggled. “I was referencing the song ‘Hips Don’t Lie’ by Shakira!” Patton explained.
“Were you calling her Shakira?” Logan asked.
Patton tilted his head. “Did it...sound like I was?” Patton asked.
“It kind of did, yeah.” Logan replied briefly.
“Then yes! I did call you Shakira! You have some nice hips.” Patton said as he started poking the sides of her pelvis again.
Arial’s laughter raised an octave from both the really weird but endearing compliment, and from Patton’s poking. Arial couldn’t stop laughing for the life of her. Two people were attacking her really ticklish upper body!
“Where else should we go? Is your neck ticklish by any chance?” Roman asked before he started skittering his fingers on the neck part of her spine.
Arial curled her neck back and squeaked. “HEHEHEHehehehehey! Ehehehevihihil prihihihince!” Arial protested.
Roman guffawed. “So, I touch your armpits and you’re all like ‘Hehe! That tickles!’. But the moment I even SLIGHTLY tickle you’re like ‘Nuuu! Bad Roman! Evil Roman!’ Why is that?!” Roman reacted.
“Ihihihi dohohohon’t knohohohow.” Arial replied.
“Maybe she just can’t help the words that come out of her mouth!” Patton suggested. “Or maybe...light tickles are harder to handle than intense tickles.” Patton also suggested.
“It might be a bit of both.” Logan concluded. “I mean, how would you feel if someone just started tickling your neck for a while without stopping despite your protests?” Logan asked.
Arial looked up and smiled when she saw Logan tickle the left side of Patton’s neck. “eeEEK! No! NNNNO! Hands! Away!” Patton ordered.
“How about YOU keep your OWN hands away?” Logan suggested as he grabbed Patton’s hands and pinned them above his head with both his hands. With his arms out of the way and bent to give Logan more room to tickle, Logan leaned into his neck and blew a raspberry onto Patton’s neck. “NOOHOHOHOHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOHOHOHOGAHAHAHAN!” Patton shrieked like a child.
“See? You can’t quite think properly when you’re being tickled by someone.” Logan explained. “Buuuut...how about light tickles?” Logan asked as he adjusted his grip. With one hand holding both his arms, Logan started skittering his fingers on Patton’s neck. When it was covered, Logan would move to an exposed neck spot. Logan kept doing this so he could guarantee lots of light tickles for Patton.
“Stahahahap! Whyhyhy mehehehe?! WHYhyhyhy?! Ihihihi thohohought wehehe wehehehere tihihicklihing Ahaharial?” Patton giggled and squeaked.
Logan smiled. “I’m just proving a point.” Logan replied confidently.
By now, Roman had stopped tickling Arial and let her go. Not only that, but Roman even took the time to whisper something in Arial’s ear. With new information in her mind, Arial lifted herself up and started tickling Logan’s hips.
“BAHAHA! ARIAL, NOHOHO!” Logan jumped, collapsing onto the couch.
“You’re right: Arial no. Buuut, Patton YES!” She replied. “Go for it, Pat!” Arial declared to him.
“You got it!” Patton started quickly tickling Logan for revenge. “Can’t test a theory without testing it on yourself!” Patton declared as well.
Logan giggled and started laughing hysterically in less than a minute. Patton chose the really ticklish and juicy spots, which ended up keeping Logan down and stuck in defeat. While Arial only watched the tickle fight from there, Arial did get some information on where to go when tickling Logan. She also eventually found out Patton’s many ticklish spots when he managed to dominate Patton once again!
The day ended up turning into a big tickle fight between her, Roman, Patton, Logan and eventually Virgil. And this all wouldn’t have happened, if Arial didn’t show Roman the embarrassing list of questions on her phone.
Boy! Isn’t embarrassment a blessing sometimes?
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Survey #404
“death doesn’t answer when i cried for help”
The person you had the strongest feelings for dies, do you care? I'd be fucking devastated. It wouldn't feel real. Is there something you’re happy about at the moment? A few things. I'm still on that high of my APAP mask working, like I'm actually getting some fucking quality sleep, and I think I'm noticing the effects of my TMS therapy finally, too. My PTSD has most notably been much more bearable, and my interests are beginning to spread again. Do you want someone dead? No. Do you ever wonder what your ex is up to? I mean yeah, I think that's pretty normal, even for someone without my issues. Have you ever fed or taken care of a stray animal? Oh, many times. What is something you tend to worry about? My health and future. What is something you do that is unhealthy? Sit at the computer for way too long. I'm absolutely certain my vision is as poor as it is partially because of me endlessly staring at screens. What is something you do that is good for you? I'm not afraid to prioritize my mental health. What last caused you to force a smile? I was watching a Mark video for the first time in a while and was just reminded of how much I love and appreciate that moron. What was the last video game you played? Was it fun? Because you said "video" game, I guess I'll exclude computer ones, in which case I'm pretty sure it was Silent Hill 2. Given it's one of my all-time favorite games, of course I think it's fun. It's one hell of an emotional ride. What is something not many people know about you? The fact I was a dancer for many years would probably surprise people once they have a good idea of me and what I like. What word describes your basic style? Lazy, honestly. I dress for comfort, and given that's usually just pj pants and a tank top... yeah, I don't put much effort into my clothing when I'm going most places. Have you ever been told you were going to Hell? She kinda beat around the bush, but yes. Have you ever wanted to kill yourself? On more than one occasion. If yes, what convinced you not to go through with it? Well, I did OD once, but on the other occasions, it was the fear of the unknown that deterred me. Have you ever rejected a guy, only to have him push the issue by asking “why?” and insisting that you just need to get to know him better? Omg no, thank god. I would NOT handle that well. Is there something that you believe everyone should do and you can’t believe that some people don’t do it (e.g., recycle or go to the dentist regularly)? I didn't know 'til a survey question asked it that there are people who don't brush their tongue when brushing their teeth. Like holy shit dude, there are SO many germs on your tongue, clean that shit. Regarding the last good choice (healthy choice, kind choice, selfless choice, etc.) you made, what was your real motivation behind it? Ummmm the nearest that comes to mind is I guess taking my meds? I mean I do that every single day, but it's still a healthy choice for me. The motivation was because I am very serious about doing what I can for my mental wellbeing. What is something that you have had to practice at to get the hang of it? If you can’t think of anything, that’s okay, what’s something you are currently practicing at and trying to master? I really can't think of something for the first half of the question, but I can tell you that right now I'm attempting to force a routine of applying a therapy technique called "opposite action" into my daily life, where you, well, do the exact opposite of what your depression tells you to not do. It is WAY harder than it sounds, but I'm doing it with reading 30 minutes a day! Have you ever gone to the store to buy something, like a video game, when it came out at midnight? Not to my recollection, no. Regarding the last novel you read, was there a romance included? If so, was it central to the plot? The last novel I finished, yes. It wasn't central to the plot. Have you ever done relaxation meditations or listened to relaxation guides or positive-thinking/healing recordings? No, except in therapy when different therapists wanted me to experiment with it during a session. They just don't work for me. Do you have any interests that are also often shared by children? Yeah. Those are the one I'm especially self-conscious about. there something that could be a solitary activity but you really only like to do it with other people (e.g., watching movies, playing video games, etc.)? Watching movies or TV. Are you satisfied with the interior design or decoration in your home? Or do you think it needs a total home makeover? A makeover would be nice... Is there something that you’d like to own but you can’t find it anywhere? If not, can you a remember a time when you wanted something? Did you ever end up finding it or did you eventually stop wanting it? OKAY SO I actually have seen this custom-made once long after deciding I wanted it, but it was RIDICULOUSLY expensive. There's a location in the Silent Hill games called Heaven's Night, and I'd love love LOVE to commission someone to duplicate the neon pink sign of it to hang in my room. Hopefully one day I could still do it. Who makes you smile the most? Probably my cat, honestly. What piercings do you want/have? I've talked about the piercings I have, but I'll talk about those I want. My #1 is absolutely collarbone dermals, but as I've explained a billion times, I want to lose weight so the bones are more prominent for the sake of contrast; you can't really see my collarbones now, so I just think it'd look pretty dumb and random to just have random piercings somewhere around there with no dimension. I also want way more in my ears, dermals in my back dimples also once I've lost weight, my right nostril for the dozenth time (but this time I'll wear a hoop), and while I'd absolutely adore an undereye microdermal as well, it'd be pointless with glasses. :/ What's your favorite website? KM is my pride and joy and really feels like my online home, so despite using sites like YouTube more, that 'ole RP site has to be my fave. Do you own a fish tank with fish? No. I had fish bowls (AWFUL idea) as a kid, but never tanks Do you like the movie 300? Never seen it. Do you pop your knuckles? NOOOOOOOOOOO. I absolutely hate the sound. It makes me cringe and shiver. Do you have Photoshop? Yes. It comes in the Adobe CC photography bundle I have. Do you use tinypic or photobucket? I used Photobucket back in the day. Now I just upload to imgur. What’s your favourite song from the 1980s? You're talking to someone who adores classic rock/metal, haha. How about the 1990s? There are way too many songs to choose from. Have you won anything recently? No. How often do you make Excel tables? What for? Never. What was the last baby animal you saw in the wild? There was a poor fawn as roadkill on the highway recently. :/ Are you always available or online? Preeeetty much. Do you have dietary restrictions? Or do you just eat what you like? I can eat whatever. Do you prefer gold, silver or steel jewelry? Or no jewelry at all? Steel. I'm allergic to silver, and I think steel is more subtle than gold. Have you been binge-watching any shows lately? If so, what? No. If you dye your hair, do you do it yourself or go to a salon? I do it at a salon. If you have any, do you like your in-laws? I don’t have any. Would it bother you, if your partner had cut contact with their parents? If they had a good reason, no. Have you ever wondered whether you were adopted? As a kid I did because I thought Mom was meaner to me than my siblings, lol. What’s the best physical feeling in the entire universe? ........... This question is a setup lmfao. Have you ever grown a berry bush? No. Have you done something new to your hair recently? No. It's been the same for quite a while. I wanna dye it badly. Do you have bad anxiety? If so, do you take any kind of medication for it? I'm diagnosed with generalized and social anxiety, so yeah. I take Klonopin once and day and Ativan as needed for attacks. One thing you’ve experienced that you thought you never would have? HA, the first thing to come to mind was being noticed by Mark by making a viral (in the community, anyway) gif of he and his doggy. I shit you not, I couldn't sleep for three days lmfao. What was the last thing someone said to you that kept repeating over & over in your head? That I gained fucking seven pounds in two months at my last doctor appointment. I wanted to scream. How often do you have late nights out? Never. I'm a homebody. If you could, would you work from home? Do you think that would make you more or less productive? No. It would absolutely make me less productive. If you had the ability to change the weather, what would you change it to right now? Cool with a nice breeze, mostly clear skies, crisp air... That'd be nice right now. Is there something that you really need to do, but can’t seem to get motivated to do it? I say it all the time: finish decorating my room. It's funny, because I KNOW I'll feel more at home and cozy with my bedroom more personalized. Most disturbing movie you have ever seen? Paranormal Entity. The ending was... a lot. Has a life goal or dream ever come true for you yet? If yes, what is it? If no, do you think you’ll achieve it? Not that I can think of. .-. I hope I can achieve some... Have you ever had food poisoning? No, thank God. What are you listening to? "The Man Who Made a Monster" by Dance With the Dead. Do you think there will be a WWIII? I find it inevitable at some point down humanity's future. People are too hateful for it not to eventually. Has anyone ever asked you if you were emo? Yeah. Has someone ever liked you that you never thought would? Maybe? Idk. In all honesty, can a person be too nice? Yes, in some instances. Has one of your friend’s boyfriends ever tried to cheat on them with you? Yes, when I was around 12. And I let it happen. It's one of my biggest regrets. Is mental abuse really as bad as physical abuse? Of course it is. Emotional abuse can cut just as deep as some physical blows, or even deeper. Do you shop at Sephora for make-up? No. Zelda: Twilight Princess or Ocarina of Time? I'm actually not into TLoZ. Do you own a rosary? I did as a kid growing up in a Catholic Sunday school. If you were homeless, how would you cope? If I had no loved ones in my life and no sign of things getting better, I'm honestly preeetty sure I'd end my life.
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Into the Shadows: Chapter Five
The rubber soles of my red converses patted softly against the linoleum hall of the school. I wandered absently through the maze-like, white halls of the red, brick building. I was supposed to go to the office to drop off some papers for a teacher, one of many chores from Teacher Assisting. Instead I was enjoying my favorite pastime. I loved the cold; October had a nice chill to it. In the older halls of the building with poor insulation, I could gaze out the large windows to watch the red and orange leaves fall softly to the awaiting ground while enjoying the chill of October as it seeped through the walls of the school. I was enjoying such a moment on Tuesday when I heard the softest tinkling sound. I ignored it at first, wondering if perhaps I imagined the sound. It persisted and I took notice of a melody. Music. Somebody was playing music. Unable to resist, I followed the noise.
I pushed open a pale, wooden door that led to the balcony of the auditorium. On the stage below, a man sat at a beautiful, black grand piano, I squinted in an attempt to get a better look, but it was simply too far. The most beautiful melody poured over me, hanging in the air. It seemed to wrap around me, embracing me, cooing at me to stay for a while. Gathering all my effort, I left the balcony, quickly sprinting down the stairs at the end of the hall. I wanted to be surrounded by the music again. Quietly, I pushed open the lower auditorium door and walked swiftly passed rows and rows of uncomfortable stadium seats to the bottom of the stage. I gazed up at the boy as he hunched over the piano, hands flying gracefully over the keys. His curly dark hair hung in his face, unable to hide his evident happiness and peace. A pang of envy shot through me, I wished I could play the piano like that. It took me a moment to recognize the song; it was one of my favorites, Maybe by Yiruma. I laid my head on my pale, folded arms and closed my eyes. The music wrapped comfortingly around me, I lost myself in the melody and beauty of swift twinkling notes.
“Kristin?” A familiar voice questioned. I hadn’t noticed the music stopped, I quickly snapped open my eyes and instantly recognized James peering down at me from the piano bench. His dark eyes stared down at me in confusion; I thought I detected the faintest blush painting his cheeks.
“Sorry,” I apologized, blood rushing to my cheeks, “I didn’t mean to intrude, I heard you playing from the hallway upstairs and that’s my favorite song.” The red of his cheeks deepened and he stared down at the keys. It was refreshing to see his easy-going, charming mask come off.
“It’s just a hobby of mine, helps me think. I’m skipping class right now actually,” He said with a laugh, studying the piano keys.
I smiled, “As much as I frown upon skipping, I’ll let you pass this time because that was absolutely the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard, annnnnd I’m skipping too,” I joked with a laugh. James smiled and patted the space next to him on the piano bench. I hoisted myself on stage and sat beside him. We were so close I could smell the sweetness of his skin and when he inhaled our shoulders brushed.
“Where did you learn to play like that?” I asked, breaking the silence, trying to focus on anything other than how good he smelled right then.
James brushed his fingers gingerly over the keys, almost longingly, before turning to look at me, “It’s just something my father taught me. I’ve loved to play since I was a kid, it clears my head, lets me escape from the world for a while,” He shrugged, faking nonchalance. It did not escape my notice that, for the first time, he answered my question honestly.
“I can see that it’s important to you, I think it’s great, everyone needs to escape now and again. I like to read and watch movies to escape. Everyone has their own things,” I smiled encouragingly, nudging his shoulder lightly with mine. His dark eyes softened into that liquid brown that melted my bones and he gave a small, sad smile.
“Is everything okay, James? You’ve seemed so down and distracted after your first couple of weeks at school here. I hate to see you this way,” I said, worried. I placed my hand over his on the piano and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
“Thank you for worrying about me. Things have just been difficult with my dad. I don’t really want to talk about it,” James explained, his deep brown eyes clouded with sadness.
“Okay, I understand,” I gave a small, comforting smile, “Just know that I’m always here,” I offered.
“Thank you,” James smiled, this time it reached his eyes. He clasped my hand tightly in his and began to play a soft, slow melody with the other. My heart beat erratically and my hand felt strangely warm where he held it. I tired to keep my thoughts in order. James was finally opening up; I couldn’t waste this precious opportunity with foolish girlishness.
“Do you live with your dad?” I asked, staring at his peaceful face as his fingers danced over the keys.
“Yes, my mom died when I was very young, it’s just been the two of us for as long as I can remember,” James replied, still staring at the piano, never faltering in his tune, even as he talked. I let the subject go then, somehow it seemed wrong to take advantage of his sudden vulnerability to feed my own curiosity. I enjoyed his beautiful music, happy to have learned a little something about his mysterious life, always kept so secret.
“So do you want to hang out after school today?” Natasha asked, plopping her backpack onto her desk next to me. The rest of the morning had passed quickly after my encounter with James, probably something to do with our interaction running on repeat in my head, hopelessly distracting me for the rest of the day. I had nearly forgotten my own impending doom. I sighed and bit my lip.
“I, uh, can’t…” I trailed off, “I have a tutoring session with Ryder Grim at the library.” I whispered in a rush.
“You have a tutor?” Natasha choked in surprise. The people at nearby desks turned their heads and gave us weird looks.
“Lower your voice!” I huffed, smacking her arm in cadence with my syllables. “It’s not exactly ‘tutoring’, we have to study together for the AP exam, Mrs. Gold is making us,” I sighed rolling my eyes. A sour taste filled my mouth just uttering the unfortunate circumstances that would bring Ryder and I together this afternoon.
“Oh man,” Natasha laughed, “That really sucks, talk about irony.”
“Yes, well, I’m glad one of us is amused,” I glared at her.
“Seriously though, you’ve been hanging out with the kid a lot between tutoring and partnering up with him for this project in Psychology, I think you liiiiike him” Natasha teased in a sing-song voice, nudging my shoulder.
“I could literally kill you right now for even thinking that!” I seethed, “And I did not partner up with him! It was an accident, I explained this last night on the phone. Luckily, James got to class late and had to join our group, so I won’t be stuck with Ryder alone any longer than purely necessary.” I muttered, mentally thanking whoever was responsible for that. Natasha laughed and I pouted at my own rotten luck. Before long, Sinclair swept into the class right after the late bell, as usual. Class passed quickly, mostly Sinclair discussed the project further and answered questions. Sooner than I would have liked, sooner than seemed fair to me, the bell rang, and we were released. I was suddenly envious of my peers that had their freedom this afternoon. I took upon the air of a woman marching to her own funeral, begrudgingly gathering my things, placing them in my backpack so slowly a turtle could outpace me. Ryder briskly walked to my desk and waited impatiently for me.
“Are you ready?” He asked severely while I shoved my binder into my backpack.
“Do I look ready?” I retorted, refusing to look at him, my dark mood making me ruder towards him than I usually allowed. I quickly zipped my backpack as he reached for the strap.
“What are you doing?” I asked, again harsher than I intended, pulling the backpack away from him.
“I was going to carry your things,” He answered blankly, raising a questioning brow at my sudden severity.
“Yeah, I think I can handle it,” I mumbled and slung the pack over my shoulder. I swore the tiniest smile graced his lips from the corner of my eye, but it was gone so fast I must have imagined it. Our altercation at the elementary school had done nothing to change our relationship; his mood swings left me so confused I was experiencing vertigo.
Natasha, Ryder, and I walked together to the parking lot. We were an unusual trio to be sure and our ensemble gathered more than a few stares as we made our way across campus. Natasha would drop me off at the library for the tutoring session while Ryder rode behind us. The plan was for him to tutor me for an hour and a half, then James would join us, and we’d work on our Psychology project for another hour and a half. Finally, I would be free to take the subway home and die of exhaustion.
We walked silently to the student parking lot. I realized I hated walking through school with Ryder because the stares always followed, if there was one thing I disliked more than Ryder himself, it was being the center of attention. Before long, Ryder veered off to his own car, while Natasha and I piled into her Prius. We circled around the lot and finally found him. When we did, I stared open mouthed, not even trying to conceal my shock, as he climbed, always graceful, onto a hot red motorcycle.
“He drives a motorcycle, too!” I exclaimed too loudly to Natasha. Natasha nearly doubled over laughing. “He’s too perfect, god damn it! There has to be some kind of limit to this thing. One guy cannot be inhumanly beautiful, graceful, smart, and ride a sexy as hell motorcycle. I mean, it’s just not fair!” I fumed. Natasha was practically crying from laughing now. I crossed my arms and sulked in the passenger seat while Natasha composed herself and drove to the library, Ryder following directly behind. I pouted with my arms crossed in the passenger seat, boring holes in him through the side view mirror the whole way there. Ryder could get me agitated like no one else, a fact that only made me despise him that much more. The more time I spent with Ryder, I remained confused as to how he could get me so worked up, compared to the usual indifference I felt to just about every other male at our school. Perhaps it was, as I described to Natasha, his inhuman perfection, or his constantly changing mood that was impossible to keep up with and the refined “I’m better than everyone else” air he kept about himself. Regardless of the reason, I found myself very much dreading this evening and every Tuesday and Thursday evening for the next weeks to come.
After a few minutes, we pulled up to a modest brick building with sliding glass doors and a sign that read “Public Library” in silver block letters. I slowly, grudgingly, gathered my things, wishing I wouldn’t have to get out of the car.
“Have fun, play nice!” Natasha called with a laugh before speeding away. I grimaced at her retreating car before trudging into the library. The doors slid open in welcome and I automatically breathed in the familiar, comforting smell of books. Rows upon rows of them stood before me, divided straight down the middle by a sea of tan tables and chairs, in the very back a blue counter sat for check out, an older man worked studiously behind it. The peace and quiet was a welcome reprieve from the mess of school, I paused for a moment longer to enjoy it. It had been a long time since I sought the solace of this building. I couldn’t quite drift in the allure of the books around me, knowing the chore I had before me. I saw Ryder pulling out books and papers at a table and slowly walked toward him. I imagined killers took a faster approach to the firing squad. The chair scraped too loudly against the wood floors as I took a seat beside him.
It was a little awkward at first, as we began studying. Neither of us said very much as we busted open AP study books and textbooks and diagrams. I had to give him credit, he was a good. He never got annoyed or exasperated, just easily answered my questions and explained core concepts without any emotion. After an hour I felt much better about the subject than I ever had. I leaned back in my chair and sighed.
“Okay, my brain hurts, I need to take a break before I implode,” I insisted, pushing the books and papers away from me. A small smiled teased at the corner of his lips, but it never reached his eyes.
“Oh, come on!” I exclaimed. Too loudly, because the man at the counter threw me a dark scowl and shushed me, as if my outburst was sure to ruin the integrity of his carefully curated atmosphere. I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at him like a child.
Ryder looked marginally surprised by my outburst. “What?” he asked, the slightest hint of shock coloring his tone.
“You never show any emotion. You sit in class all the time, completely unmoving, like a stone statue,” I explained, exasperated, demanding an answer. I attempted a poor replication of his unafflicted expression for his benefit.
His pale pink lips quirked up into a small smile. “Is that why you called me a stone statue a couple of days ago? You disapprove of my lack of expression?” He asked, clearly bemused at the thought.
“Yes,” I answered softly, heat steadily crawling up to my cheeks without my permission, “I guess I just sort of made that nickname for you in my head, but come on, it’s totally deserved. You’re emotionless and rude,” I explained bluntly, only slightly embarrassed by revealing my true thoughts. I used my hair as a thin veil, unwilling to expose my blush.
He grinned now. “Ahh, but you do think of me, don’t you?” He teased with a breathy almost laugh.
I rolled my eyes, “You wish.” I turned my gaze down toward the table, attempting to hide the grin that spread across my face without any prodding from my brain to have told it to do such a thing, in response to Ryder no less. I shifted my hair to sweep across one side of my neck, further obscuring my face from his view, clearly I couldn’t be trusted around him to keep my composure.
We didn’t say much else after that and it wasn’t very long until James arrived. We started on our psychology project without any interruption. Ryder seemed tense working closely with James, and though I tried to draw the fun, carefree side of James out, he remained as stiff and humorless as Ryder. I wondered what could possibly have transpired between the two of them to force such a reaction. I was glad when we finished our project fifteen minutes early; the tension was palpable in the air. Ryder left with a curt goodbye, while James stayed behind to walk me down the block to the subway station.
“Have you heard the news lately?” James inquired, as we paced quickly down the street.
“No, why?” I asked intrigued by the turn our conversation had taken.
“Supposedly, a string of break-ins has occurred in the city at medical labs,” He informed, playful suspicion coating his words.
I laughed, “So? Crime is hardly unusual in New York. It’s probably a couple of lowlifes looking to score,” I shrugged.
He laughed too and changed the subject. “So are you excited for the haunted house our school is putting on for Halloween?” He asked, waggling his brows.
“Ugh, no. I don’t really do scary or adrenaline,” I replied, smiling sheepishly.
“You know Natasha is going to force you to go,” He chuckled, pausing before the entrance to the subway.
“Oh, I know,” I laughed, “But that doesn’t mean I’m excited or going to enjoy it,” I finished before turning and walking to the subway. James caught my elbow to stop me.
"Hey, Kristin?" James asked, showing a rare moment of hesitancy.
"What's up?" I replied, instantly concerned by the change in his demeanor.
"Will you go out with me sometime? Just me and you? I know this sounds a little strange and forward because we're only friends and all, but I have this feeling like I want you to know me, really know me," He explained sheepishly, averting his eyes. I swore there was the slightest pink in his cheeks.
"James, I would love to. I don't think it's weird or forward at all. I would love to get to know you better," I beamed. I had been so curious about James since he arrived, if he finally wanted to give me the opportunity to pick his brain that sounded just fine to me.
#writing#writers on tumblr#spilled writing#excerpt from a book I'll never write#excerpt from a story i'll never write#excerpts from my life#excerpt from a book i'll never finish#short fiction#shortstory#spilledink#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#spilled poetry#spilled quotes#bookblr#book#intotheshadows
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may i request a full fic of idol!reader where they accidentally reveal they’re dating yuto? 🥺
Hello!!! Super sorry for taking so long to get this out. This is actually the first request I’ve gotten on this blog, especially with a small following like mine.
I’ve been wondering for a while how I’m going to approach this, because I want to be as realistic in my writing as possible. I did a little research on dating bans in the K-pop industry, and based on the stuff I found, Cube doesn’t really have a dating ban. But with what happened with Hyuna and Dawn, I wanted to be careful (even if it is fiction, and creative liberties are a thing). There’s conflicting narratives that come into play here, and since I’m still not sure if Cube has a dating ban or not, I couldn’t follow the request to a T. Sorry about that :((.
But here is my attempt at fulfilling your request, as much as I’m comfortable with
WARNINGS: n/a. WORD COUNT: 1,879.
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Hide and Seek
You should be used to being in the spotlight like this, given your three years in the K-pop industry. Everytime you make a comeback, it’s expected that you’re thrust into interviews, guest appearances on TV, and music show recordings for a month following the release. Sometimes guestings take the whole day and recordings take the whole night, with very little breaks between. Most days you eat twice a day, light meals that are eight to ten hours apart. You sleep in the car on the way to appointments and barely have the energy to shower once you get back to your apartment before collapsing bone-tired on your bed, only to be woken up by your alarm four hours later for an early schedule.
It’s safe to say that, with your promotion schedule almost over, you are tired, hopped up on caffeine from coffee and energy drinks, and will most definitely sleep for 14 hours after all this done.
That’s all that’s running through your brain as you sit on a tall swivel chair between the hosts of another show (you’re not certain which one, at this point) on your right, and the whole of Pentagon on your left. Normally, you would be intimidated, sitting next to such a big group, that’s had so much success in their career so far. Having debuted almost at the same time (yours only a week earlier than theirs), you’re fairly close with the members. You may not be from the same agency, but you often go out on hang-outs with them, made easy by being Wooseok’s friend from high school. You know you’ve encountered all the members once or twice before, so you’re a lot less nervous about this interview.
“So Pentagon has returned for another comeback, along with your first ever full album called Universe: The Black Hall,” Dara, one of the hosts, says. “The title track is ‘Dr. Bebe’ and the concept this time is very dark. What made you guys decide to go for this type of concept for this comeback?”
“Yeah,” the other host Doyun concurs, “because Pentagon is known for your cute concepts like ‘Shine’, ‘Naughty Boy’ and ‘Humph’, right? Why the sudden change?”
“It’s exactly as you said,” Hui replied easily. “We have done a lot of cute and light concepts before, so this time we wanted to showcase a completely different side of us. I think a lot of people were surprised this time that we came out with a much heavier track that usual,” he finishes with a laugh.
“It’s also a chance to showcase more profound emotions for us,” Jinho adds. “It’s very… refreshing to have something new to play with in terms of conveying emotions and situations.”
The hosts hum in understanding, and you nod along. Doyun turns to you and you fell yourself sit up straighter. “And what about you, Y/N? You came out with a new mini-album along with the release of your new music video for the song ‘Blue and White’. What type of concept are you going for this time?”
“Well, the title of my mini-album is For Me and what I was going for this time is like a personal letter for me in different situations,” you begin. “’Blue and White’ is the opening track, and it’s sort of a mirror to a beautiful morning sky. It’s supposed to give you an energetic feeling, abut also a sense of contentment and peace, sort of like that.” You fiddle with the polka-dotted blanket on your lap. “I can’t really give a concrete concept for the whole album, but ‘Blue and White’ is a very light song, very happy, very bubbly.”
“Oh, yeah, I listened to it yesterday, and it did make me want to get up and go on a jog,” Dara says, and everyone laughs.
“That’s great, it worked!” Doyun says, clapping his hands before extending one to Pentagon. “Have any of you listened to her album?”
You look over and see a few hands raise—Hui, Yeo One, Hongseok, and Yuto. More of them listened to your album than you thought, and it makes you blush. Hui is an idol of yours when it comes to making songs, and you feel honored that he’s listening to your work.
“Ooh, quite a number of you,” he says. “Do you have a favorite track?”
Hongseok raises his hand. Dara invites him to answer and Hongseok says, “I really like ‘Indigo’. I’m a big fan of ballads, and ‘Indigo’ such a good track to sing to. It’s very melancholic, and I think the feeling is supposed to convey frustration and loneliness, right?” He turns to you, as if for confirmation, and you nod excitedly. “Yeah, it’s a feeling that I’ve experienced before and the way it was treated as a subject matter in the song makes the emotions just… flow out of you, so it’s very easy to sing to.”
You bow to him in thanks, clasping your fingers together. Dara calls for another round, for anyone who wants to say their favorite track.
Yuto holds up a shy hand and timidly says, “’Blossoms’ is my favorite.”
“That’s a ballad, right?” Doyun says. “Do you sing along to it, like Hongseok?” he teases, and makes Yuto smile a bit.
“A little,” he replies, smile still on his face. “But singing isn’t really my strong suit. I like the song because it’s… it’s about love, but the repeating kind of love, in a sense that it persists and survives in good times and bad times, sort of like that.”
You had craned your neck to get a look at Yuto while he was speaking, but Wooseok is too tall and obstructing your view. Nonetheless, hearing him compliment ‘Blossoms’ on an interview so openly—and accurately, because you had him listen to the demo version of it and explained it to him—makes a tiny, pleased smile appear on your face.
“And you, Y/N? Do you have a favorite track from their album?” Dara asks, swivels her chair to face you.
You think, really think about it. “Aaahh, this is hard, all the songs in the album are amazing, and I’ve had them on repeat in my phone for the past week.” Everyone laughs at this. “But I think ‘Camellia’ is my favorite one out of all of them. I have a love-hate relationship with poems, even though I write poems set to music for a living, but the imagery in ‘Camellia’ is so strong and vivid that I just, see movie snapshots in my brain whenever I listen to it. It’s also very nice to sing to, and I love ballads as well.”
“What’s the song about again, can someone explain?” Dara gestures to Pentagon or to you, fine with anyone speaking up.”
“It’s actually Yuto’s song,” Kino suddenly says. “He wrote it.” He looks behind him, softly asking if he Yuto wants to explain it. When Yuto shakes his hand to decline, Kino turns back around and says, “Okay, it’s actually also about an everlasting love, and follows the image of a flower that blooms and withers constantly with the seasons.”
“Oh, so it’s a lot like ‘Blossoms’, then,” Doyun says, at awe in the connection of the songs. He points to you and Yuto. “You two have the same taste in music, huh?”
“Ah, I’m quite close to the maknae in Pentagon, and we frequently hang out when we have free days,” you say, and immediately think that maybe that wasn’t the best explanation. “We frequently give each other song recommendations, so maybe our tastes converge at some point.” It’s a lousy save, but it’s still a save.
Sure, let’s go with that, you think, as if the reason you like Camellia so much isn’t because it was the only thing you listened to for two weeks after the release of the album. And it’s not because when he was writing it, Yuto sent you short clips of the instrumental, as well as snippets of the demo track that had him singing softly across the melodies. Yeah, that’s totally not the reason why you love it so much.
“Oh, so you all hang out a lot, outside of recording schedules?” Dara says, looking at Kino at the front row, and then at Wooseok and Yuto sitting tall at the back row.
“I know her from high school,” Wooseok supplies. “So even before we debuted, we hung out a lot. Lately she just goes out with Yuto, though, since I’ve turned into a homebody.”
Your heart is beating a mile a minute. If you could, you’d jump from your chair and strangle your best friend this instant. Why didn’t he just say that you just dragged Yuto along during your get-togethers? Or maybe not mention Yuto at all? Maybe the lack of sleep is getting to him, too.
Dara and Doyun in the meantime, have sniffed out a possible scoop. “Ooohh, are these like dates?” Dara asks.
You put up your hands and vehemently (but not too much) shake your head. “No, it’s mainly just. Uh. Going out for coffee, since our dorms are near each other. Sometimes we watch movies and stuff because we’re both have free schedules, and the other members are busy.” You laugh smile, nerves alight, blood pumping adrenaline. “It’s mostly coincidental that we end up going out.”
You vaguely see Yuto nod his head before saying, “I think I pester Kino and Wooseok to go out a lot, too, and they’re busy anyway, so it ends up as just Y/N and I going out, even if we do want the members there, too.” Yuto cranes is neck to look at you, nodding slightly. Whether it’s to comfort you, or to make sure his story aligns with yours, you’re not sure. You nod back anyway, to ease the burden on his shoulders as well.
“Aah,” Doyun says, “so they aren’t dating; just good friends! And it’s very common these days to be friends with someone of the opposite gender, no?”
Well, you are dating. You just haven’t told your companies yet because you haven’t been together for long—give or take five months? Too early to tell anyone except for Kino, Wooseok, Hui, and both your managers. You’re not ready to come out to a lot of people, considering you both want to be more secure in the industry before letting it slip.
You both understand the need to keep it a secret, although it’s quite difficult whenever you get asked about relationships as they usually come in three to four questions. It’s also difficult when Wooseok decides that now is the time to tease that you and Yuto go on dates a lot. You make a mental note to ask your manager if it’s possible to not be scheduled at the same time as Pentagon, so you don’t have to drag the whole group down with you in case—knock on wood—a scandal happens.
The hosts have changed the topic—something about a game segment—and you take a calming breath; the danger has passed.
You have to admit, though: as stressful as keeping your dating life a secret can be, it’s also pretty thrilling. It’s like a long-running game of hide and seek.
#pentagon#pentagon yuto#yuto#pentagon yuto scenario#adachi yuto#yuto scenario#pentagon scenarios#universe net#uninet#pentagon imagine#fic: yuto#fic: not spicy#Anonymous
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The Space Between
Keanu Reeves x Reader (requested) Key: Italics- past/flashbacks & Normal-Present Tense. A/n- if it seems scattered, its because the story spans over months/years. It will be indicated within the story but I’m not sure if it will get lost with in the division of the verses of the song etc. Also, it’s really long and I should have made it into two parts but I wasn’t sure that it would flow right if I did. A/n(2)- I don’t know how to feel about this one, if this isn’t what the original requester envisioned, I’m so sorry.
You cannot quit me so quickly There’s no hope in you for me No corner you could squeeze me But I got all the time for you love
They were on different parts of the globe. Again. Oceans, countries, zip codes and time zones apart. Y/n was in London, smack in the middle of her first international book tour while Keanu was filming back home. Y/n sat at a table in a high end bookstore in central London, signing copies of her new book, answering questions as quickly as they came. Her hand was growing tired of the continuous repeated motions but she wouldn’t change a minute of her situation. She had dreamed of being an author since she was a child, and had worked hard from selling her short stories to what ever publishing houses would buy them, to her first book that had given her domestic fame to this one, her third book that had been a worldwide success. It was everything that Y/n could have dreamed of, it had come with a price though, she just hadn’t realized it yet.
As Y/n continued, her assistant, Kelly appeared beside her, leaning to speak in her ear, quietly to preserve privacy, “Y/n you have a phone call waiting.”
She finished signing another book, closing down the cover and handing it over to the person waiting, “Who is it? Can’t you tell them I’m busy?”
Kelly sighed quietly, secretly hating that she was in the middle of her boss’s relationship, “It’s Keanu, you called him last night and he’s only just gotten the chance to get back to you.”
Glancing at the long line, almost filtering out onto the busy pavement, Y/n internally debated on whether or not she should take the call. On one hand, she had not taken a break since they had set up before the store even opened, she could use a couple minutes to herself and to talk to her boyfriend. On the other, if she stayed and continued signing it would be good for publicity, that was the purpose of this event. She hesitated a moment longer before finally deciding, “Tell him I’ll get back to him later.”
The space between The tears we cry..... The laughter that keeps us coming back for more The space between.... The wicked lies we tell and hope to keep safe from the room
“Yeah okay,” Keanu sighed as the line disconnected. ‘Y/n is unavailable at the moment, she says she’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Would you like to leave a message?‘ Her assistant had spoken to him as if her were an associate, not the man she lived with, a stranger. They had been so out of touch these days that it did feel like they were strangers, strangers who shared memories between them. Even in the rare moment when they did talk, Keanu wondered why they were still together, Y/n no longer seemed interested in their relationship and Keanu would be lying if he said that he had not started doubting his feelings for her. Did he still love her? Would things be the same when she got back? Would she even come back? They had been apart for months, and finally the distance was taking it toll.
Shrugging off the thoughts of his failing relationship, Keanu dumped the phone back onto the bag in his trailer, not really caring if she called him back or not, already ready to get back to work.
1 month later
But will I hold you again? These fickle fuddled words confuse me Like will it rain today We waste the hours talking and talking These twisted games we’re playing
It seemed like the phone had been ringing forever and Y/n was growing annoyed, about to hang up when the line clicked, “Hello?” He answered as if he wasn’t sure who was on the other end.
“Hey, sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner, I’ve been really busy. Between the book tour and my editor wanting to do a million meetings over Skype, its been difficult to get some down time,” Y/n explain hurriedly, phone jammed between her shoulder and her ear as she stood in the kitchenette of her hotel room pouring herself a cup of coffee.
“Its okay, how has the tour been so far?” Keanu questioned from the other end as he browsed the movie offerings on Netflix. They were both only half invested in the conversation, it had been months since either of them had the other’s full attention. So long that it had become almost normal. Awkward phone conversations, stretches of uncomfortable silence, secrets. Anything else might seem foreign.
Y/n reclaimed her seat at her laptop, typing vigorously as she spoke next, “Oh you know, its fine. The reception here in France has been spectacular,” that was it, no details, no stories about interesting people she had met, nothing more than she’d give to someone in passing. “How’s filming coming along?”
“Its finished.” He responded coolly, it had been so long since they last spoke that Keanu could not recall if he had told her or if Y/n had just forgotten.
Y/n’s end was silent for a minute and he knew that it was more likely that she was distracted rather than offended, “That means the premier is in a few months?”
“Yeah, June. After the France leg is over you’ll be coming back, right?”
“No, I must have forgotten to mention it, but we’ve decided to extend it, Germany and then Dubai. Matt thinks we should visit all of our biggest markets”
For a second, Keanu had to rack his brain to even remember that Matt was her publicist. “Okay,” his tone was flat, there was no underlying annoyance, anger or disappointment.
“Okay.” Y/n replied on the other side. For a while, they stayed silent, he could hear the clicking of her keys and Y/n could hear the television playing a movie on his end. “I should go,” Y/n said finally. Quickly, they exchanged hurried, awkward good byes.
Y/n ended the call, tossing her phone on the dining table with a huff. Looking up from her laptop for a couple minutes, she felt her heart almost sink at the way their conversation ended, not with sorrow from lost love, but guilt. They used to be so close and now anyone could tell that she and Keanu were more than out of touch. Lately it felt like they were holding on to something that had they had long grown out of. He was always busy these days, meetings for upcoming projects, table reads for new movies and everything in between. And she was no different. They were both so consumed with their own careers that they never made time for each other. Y/n let herself sink deeper and deeper into their shared memories until she was broken out of it by the phone ringing again as her assistant’s name flashed across the screen
We’re strange allies With warring hearts What a wild eyed beast you’d be
The night before had met Y/n laying in bed, her mind jumbled with thoughts and she had not fallen asleep until it was just past three am. And now, in the middle of a breakfast meeting with her publicist, Y/n wished that she could have surrendered to slumber sooner.
Sitting at near the window of an upscale café in Paris, Y/n’s unfocused gaze was turned towards the scenic French streets. She had always wanted to visit, Keanu had always told her he’d bring her, but he never did. He was always too busy. Back then , just a couple years ago, Y/n didn’t mind, she was in love. Was. Sitting at that picturesque café though, Y/n couldn’t tell anymore. “Earth to Y/n,” Matt placed his hand on hers.
“Huh?” Y/n jumped, returning her attention to the person on the other side of the table, glancing at his hand on hers. She had always thought that Matt had interest in being more than colleagues but had never spent much time on the matter. The way he was squeezing her hand though, the look in his eyes as they searched eyes hers, it had been a long time since someone looked at her like that. Even before she had left for the tour, Keanu had been growing distant, and Y/n had been doing nothing about it, because it her own way, she was pulling away too. “Sorry, I didn’t catch that last part,” Y/n tried to remember the last thing she had heard him say, even if she really had not been paying attention to anything he had said since they took their seats.
Matt frowned, and for the first time, she noticed how handsome he was. Sharp bone structure, clear blue eyes all set around full lips. “You okay?”
She tried to laugh, but it sounded nervous and forced, “Yeah, yeah. I’m just tired. I didn’t sleep great.”
Matt frowned and the expression of concern seemed genuine, “Oh, well why don’t I walk you back? We’ll pick this up later, when you’ve gotten some rest.“
“You don’t need to do that,” Y/n waved him off.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I can’t let you walk back on your own, I wouldn’t be much of a gentleman if I did. Besides, we’re in the same hotel,” Matt reasoned. “Please.” He stood first, offering his arm.
After a beat, Y/n stood, looping her arm with Matt’s not thinking much of it when she leaned into his warmth, smiling lightly as they strolled though the city.
But will I hold you again? Will I hold
The walk back to the hotel went by faster than Y/n would have liked, even though they had walked quite slowly. Matt was a fun companion, pointing out things as they continued at a leisured pace, his arm constantly locked with hers. Y/n could barely remember the last time she and Keanu had walked like that. Even for months before she had left, neither of them had seemed interested in holding hands.
The thoughts of Keanu faded quickly when Matt whispered a little joke in her ear, making her throw her head back in laughter. As her giggles died down, Y/n turned her head towards Matt, who was looking at her with a glimmer in his eyes. “What?” She asked, brushing a strand of hair away from her face.
He shook his head, still smiling, “Nothing, you just have a beautiful laugh. And you get this little crinkle at your eyes when you smile, its cute,” he rubbed the back of his head nervously, “You should do it more often.”
Y/n blushed, the tips of her ears burning, “Thanks.”
“Of course,” Matt giggled shyly before saying, this time speaking a little softer, “You’re amazing Y/n. Not just your smile. I mean everything. You’re funny, incredibly talented and you’re one of the most gorgeous women that I’ve ever met,” by then, they were standing at the door of Y/n’s hotel room. She knew that she should have excused herself from the conversation and head inside, but something about Matt’s charmingly lop-sided shy smile, plastered on his handsome face had kept Y/n rooted in her spot. “Keanu’s a really lucky guy,” he finally concluded nervously as he scratched the back of his head. “I hope he knows that.”
Y/n blushed again and before she realized it, the words spilled out of her mouth, “These days it doesn’t seem like he’s lucky. It doesn’t feel like I’m lucky either,” scoffing, Y/n’s eyes went wide, “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, I don’t know what got into to me.”
Matt grabbed her forearms, giving a light squeeze, reassuring her, “No, it’s okay. I’m always here if you ever need to talk. Right down the hall actually,” As Matt raised his arm, pointing down the hall, Y/n founding herself drawing closer to him. Noticing this, Matt leaned down and their foreheads were separated by an inch of air. “Y/n,” he mumbled quietly. Their lips met for a minute and in that moment Y/n forgot about the past months. This was new, different, something that wouldn’t matter tomorrow, an escape.
Then it hit her, the thing she was seeking escape from. Her relationship. Hastily, Y/n pulled away, almost hitting her head on the still closed door. Flustered, she slipped the keycard in, “ I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have...”
“No, it’s my fault, I think I misread the situation, I’m so, so sorry,” Matt took a few steps back watching as Y/n opened the door, quickly stepping inside, hiding behind the door so only her head stuck out.
Swallowing tightly, Y/n nodded, “Okay, but, um, I should go.” She didn’t even give Matt a moment to respond before shutting door. Now, sure that she had effectively out run another problem, at least for the time being, Y/n ran her hands through her hair, staring up at the ceiling as she quietly whispered, “Fuck.”
1 Year Later
Look at us spinning out in the madness of a roller-coaster You know you went of like the devil in church In the middle of a crowded room All we can do my love Is hope we don’t take this ship down
“An accident? So you just accidently put your lips on his? You accidently let him shove his tongue down your fucking throat?” Keanu fumes and Y/n is surprised that he’s this upset. “Next you’re gonna let him-”
“Keanu!” Y/n shouts in the phone. “You know what? This is exactly why I didn’t tell you sooner! And you actually have no right to be this upset, considering we haven’t seen each other each other in almost six months. I hardly even hear from you!”
Keanu scoffs, “As if I hear from you! I’m not the one you packed up and left Y/n. That was all you. You left. You’re the one half way across the fucking world,” suddenly his voice drops, like all the anger is gone, “I don’t even know why I’m mad at you. I.....” His voice drifts off
“You what? Say it!” Y/n yells, his anger might be gone, but hers is right there, boiling over. How dare he? “Go ahead, say it! It’s not like you gave a shit before. You think I’ll fuck other people, there’s really not much that’s worse.“
Y/n swore she could hear the comical ‘woosh’ as his anger flared and see the redness in his face. “I don’t think I love you anymore.” There was no emotion in his voice. The words came out like they meant nothing, like the past five years meant absolutely nothing.
Maybe, at this point, they didn’t. Y/n barely felt anything when he said it. At this point, the only reason that they still called themselves a couple was because breaking up required too much effort. “Fine then,” Y/n scoffed, “I’ll have someone clear my stuff out by the end of the week.”
Keanu chuckled, dry and humorless, “Okay. Goodbye Y/n.”
“Goodbye Keanu.” The line clicked dead, ending their conversation and their relationship
The space between Where you smile and hide Is where you’ll find me if I get to go
Its been a year. An entire year, and yet the pain only hit him a couple days ago, when he realized that it would have been their sixth anniversary. If they hadn’t stopped at five. Maybe four and a half? Keanu had given on trying to figure out exactly where and when things went wrong. At least, he had for a while. But ever since he realized that his and Y/n’s anniversary would have been in less than a week, the thoughts resurfaced leaving him lying awake past midnight.
When the movers came for Y/n’ s belongings, they had only taken the things that were blatantly hers. Clothes, shoes, beauty products, ornaments that he had pointed out, books and everything else. But they seemed to have left, and he had conveniently forgotten to send things that sat on the blurred line of ownership. Several framed photographs from much happier times, a painting they had commissioned when they first moved in together and a slew of other things. Before, they didn’t bother him, but now, while sitting in the darkness of a lonely living room, it did.
It wasn’t that dark though. The pale moonlight filtering in coupled with the lights from the backyard made the pictures clearly visible. They were everywhere and Keanu felt like they were taunting him. Or worse yet, like they were trying to drown him with guilt. Y/n was everywhere, even if she wasn’t actually there. Her face was on the walls, her laughter in his mind.
The past few days had met Keanu going over their last conversation. He hadn’t regretted it before, but now he did. He let Y/n go, and now, he wished she were there. It had been so easy then, when he thought he had fallen out of love with her. Really, he had just been so caught up in everything else, that he had forgotten what was really important. After that, when they were both playing the blame game instead of working things out, the distance had made him think that it would be easy to let her go. But he was wrong. He wanted her back, if she would have him.
The space between The bullets in our fire fight Is where I’ll be waiting for you The rain falls Splashed in your heart Ran like sadness down the window into your room
Y/n sat in front of the dwindling fire in her living room, staring at the draining of wine in her glass, occasionally swirling it around. The place was new, it certainly felt new, but just like every other place she had tried out over the past couple months, it also felt painfully empty. There weren’t any new pictures on the mantel because lately, there weren’t any memories worth saving. There haven’t been many since her last happy one with him. Keanu. It was the last trip they took together, more than two years ago. No where far away or exotic, it was a week spent at a cabin in Maine. The first two days had met them holed up the cabin exploring nothing but each other, which had been the creation of some pretty good times. But the rest of the week had been spent making memories that could acceptably hung on a wall. They had gone hiking, had picnic and had done every other cliché yet romantic dating activity.
Y/n smiled at the fond memories. At first, when the break up was brand new, Y/n didn’t think she would miss Keanu. They had been unhappy and distant for so long that, at first, Y/n was actually relieved that they were over. In fact, she was so okay with the whole matter, that soon after, she and Matt had started dating. Their stint was brief though. The shine wore off faster than she could have imagined and in just a few weeks, Y/n was comparing him to Keanu. Matt was great, he was caring, a good listener, funny and great in bed, but there came a point where Y/n couldn’t help but notice the stark differences in their personalities. And with those observations came the realization that she actually missed Keanu and that she had never stopped loving him.
The space between Our wicked lies is Where we hope to keep safe from pain
The day had finally arrived. October 22nd. To most people, it was just another Tuesday. But to two, it was the day that they had decided that they were right for each other. That together, they would see how far they could go. Love, it’s a funny thing. Funny in the kind of way that doesn’t make you laugh. It’s fickle and when its true, it never really ends.
Love was why Keanu was standing on Y/n’s porch past dark on the 22nd of October. The day used to be theirs. Most of the lights were still on so she had to be awake. The house was smaller than he’d expected. It was nice though, all logwood, exuding an air of warm comfort, surrounded by trees, a couple miles away from the friendly Colorado town. When he first saw it, Keanu couldn’t help but smile to himself, it reminded him of the cabin they had rented in Maine, the last time they were really happy. Maybe if things worked out, he thought, they could go back. Maybe he could finally take her to Paris and give her everything else he had promised. Maybe. First, he would have to summon the courage to knock on the front door.
Inhaling deeply, Keanu brought his fist to the heavy oak door, hitting it twice just below a section of stained glass. First, the front lights turned on, startling him a little, and then the door swung open. “Keanu?” Y/n’s mouth fell open and she brought a hand up to her chest, clearly surprised to see him.
“Hey,” he smiled softly. Suddenly it was like seeing her for the first time. Her beauty renewed. “You changed your hair,” he mused quietly.
Absently, Y/n twirled the ends of her hair between her fingers, realizing that it was the first time he had seen her like that. For a second, she found herself wondering if he liked it. “You’re beard is shorter,” Y/n replied, a little amused. Y/n had seen the pictures that had circulated after he shaved and now, she found that the shorter than usual scruff was a pleasant change. “Would you like come in?”
Keanu stuttered as if caught off guard by her offer. “I’d like that,” Y/n stepped back, opening the door a little wider. When they were both inside, Y/n turned the lock on the door and they lingered hallway, unspeaking standing inches apart. The silence seemed to draw on until Y/n reached out awkwardly to hug Keanu.
They had moved things to her living room after the awkward pleasantries were over. For a while, they sat, cocooned in the warmth of the sofa. As they talked, Keanu couldn’t help but notice how empty the house looked. There weren’t many pictures out, the glass doored bookcases were mostly barren and there were several boxes neatly stacked against the walls. “You just moved in?” He finally asked.
Y/n winced at the question, “Yeah, last month actually. But I’m actually thinking of moving again,” Y/n dropped her gaze to her lap, avoiding Keanu’s eyes.
“Why’s that?” Keanu asked, more concerned than curious, “You used to talk about buying a place like this all the time.”
Y/n laughed shyly, knowing that the answer would just show how vulnerable she was feeling. “Actually, I used to talk about buying a place like this with you,” she corrected and Keanu growing flustered, turned away. Y/n sighed, she had not intended for her comment to be a petty jab, even if it sounded that way. “I didn’t mean it like that. I guess I’m moving again because no matter where ago, where I live, it always feels empty, like something is missing.” Like someone is missing.
Take my hand Cause we’re walking out of here Right out of here Love is all we need dear
Their eyes met and tentatively, Keanu placed his hand on Y/n’s exposed knee, “Something like what?”
Y/n exhaled and all of a sudden, she was nervous to tell him the truth. What if he didn’t feel the same? She couldn’t take the chance. “Why did you come here?”
“Because I think we made a mistake. Or maybe the timing was wrong,” Keanu sighed as the words tumbled out of his mouth. His heart was right there, laid out on the table, waiting for Y/n to reclaim it. “I don’t think I ever stopped loving you Y/n, I think that maybe we lost our way and the love got buried under everything else that was happening. And I’m so sorry that I let it happen.”
Y/n’s widened eyes shone with unshed tears, “I’m sorry too.” Placing her hand over Keanu’s Y/n closed her eyes, embracing the familiarity of their hands together. It wasn’t just familiar though, it was right. “I’ve missed you,” she whispered.
The space between What’s wrong and right Is where you’ll find me hiding Waiting for you
The space between In your heart and mine Is the space we’ll fill with time
“I’ve missed you too,” Keanu slowly leaned forward, pressing his forehead to hers, lacing his other hand in her hair.
Sniffling, Y/n let the fingers of her free hand ghost over Keanu’s cheeks, “I love you, but I don’t want to do this again if it’ll just end the same. I hated the distance, the not knowing, Keanu,” she sounded breathless, trying not to sob in his arms, “I don’t want to lose you again.”
He pulled her closer, letting Y/n bury her face in the crook of his neck as he held her tighter, “You won’t, I promise. I’ll always be there, as long as you promise to never leave again.”
Y/n smiled sadly, throwing her arms around Keanu’s neck. Scooting into his lap, she pressed a lingering kiss to his lips. “I promise. I love you.”
“I love you too,” Keanu smiled against Y/n’s lips for a minute before pulling her into another, longer kiss.
The space between
#Keanu Reeves#Keanu reeves x reader#Keanu reeves x you#Keanu reeves oneshot#Keanu reeves fanfiction#john wick x reader#john wick x you#Keanu reeves fanfic#john wick#actor x reader#celebrity#keanu#oneshot#fanfiction
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Infinitesimal (part 32)
Author’s note: Hey guys! This is only two hours late, so I’m calling it a win. Also, from now on--if you want to be added or removed from the tag list, please send an ask! I was looking back at older chapters, and apparently there were a few people who asked in a comment that I missed. I’d like to avoid that in the future!
Enjoy the update. :)
Warnings: nightmare, injuries, death mention, fear, arguing, mentions of kidnapping and being trapped, illness mention, referenced past abuse
Word count: 3691
Look for the masterpost in the notes!
...
Patton blinked awake slowly. His vision faded into focus, and he was startled to see thick, black metal bars criss-crossing about a foot above him.
No… it couldn’t be. How was Patton back in a cage? Hadn’t he gotten away? Fear started to twist in his chest as he frantically tried to figure out how he had gotten here.
“Well aren’t you being a lazy-bones, dolly?” a high-pitched, grating voice suddenly sing-songed. It felt like it came from everywhere at once, making even his bones vibrate. Patton’s blood ran cold.
No…. No, no, no, no! Patton sat up fast, almost like he’d been shocked, snapping his head towards the source of the voice. Pale blue, visibly annoyed eyes larger than his entire head met his.
“Marissa,” he whispered, the word as frail as a dead leaf trembling on its branch, about to be blown away in the wind. His eyes were wide with shock as they took in the huge child’s pudgy, pink face. His fingers began to go numb with panic, his legs trembling.
“I want to play,” Marissa announced, spitting slightly on the ‘p’. Her hand shot towards the cage door, the movement almost too fast to see. She grinned, showing a mouth full of sharp teeth.
Patton jumped up while she was busy unlocking the door and tried to run, to hide, but there was nothing in the cage but himself, and his feet seemed to slide backwards on the slick plastic floor, making his attempts to run slower than a crawl. The door fell open with a clang; and Marissa’s hand snatched him up easily, lifting him off his feet. Patton’s arms were pinned to his sides, his legs hanging uselessly. The grip around him tightened, pushing the air from his lungs and leaving him breathless.
Marissa pulled him out of the cage and dropped him unceremoniously on the table it sat on. Patton staggered to his feet and attempted to run again, slipping on the fabric scraps strewn about on the wood. Marissa casually flicked his back, sending him crashing to the unforgiving tabletop with a small cry. A sharp pain throbbed in his back, and tears pricked in Patton’s eyes. He had only just begun pushing himself back up on shaky arms when Marissa abruptly grabbed at him again, pinching his right arm between her fingertips, the pressure strongest just above his elbow. She slowly lifted up his struggling form, and Patton’s arm quickly began to go numb as he couldn’t help but whine in discomfort. His legs kicked at the air, and Marissa shook him harshly. It was a miracle that his shoulder didn’t dislocate.
“Stop it!” she snapped at him. “I’m playing!”
Patton went limp immediately, hanging awkwardly as dead weight from the one arm Marissa had pinched in her grasp. His heart was pounding, but he knew from experience that if he kept struggling, he could get seriously hurt.
Marissa giggled, apparently pleased by his compliance. She took a step back from the table, then lifted Patton up high, oh, so high, impossibly far from the floor below. He stared down at Marissa’s face with frightened eyes. She grinned, her teeth somehow even sharper than before, like the shark teeth he had seen once in a book.
“W-wait, p-ple-ase,” he gasped desperately, realizing what was about to happen. “Don’t!”
She let go anyway.
…
Patton awoke for real with a jolt and a startled, quickly stifled cry. Disoriented by the dream that still felt so incredibly real, his eyes darted around, desperately trying to figure out where he was. It was a stark contrast to what he had just experienced: It was dark; the cage and Marissa were both gone; and most notably, he was no longer plummeting to his certain death. He found that he was lying in a nest of blankets and other soft materials, a warmth at his side.
Patton knew then where he was: He was in Virgil’s and Emile’s home, curled up alongside them. He wasn’t with Marissa. He wasn’t with any human at all. He was free. He was safe.
I’m safe, Patton repeated to himself. I’m safe.
As the all-consuming terror of his dream faded, Patton slowly felt himself return to his body. One of the blankets had gotten wrapped around him at some point, nearly pinning his left arm to his side. He had also rolled onto his other arm, which had now gone numb beneath him from the elbow down.
Patton forced his left arm free of the blanket, then rolled over onto his back and tried to catch his breath as quietly as possible. Pins and needles pricked through his numb right arm, the feeling gradually returning to it as his heart rate just barely began to slow to its normal pace. It had been a while since he’d had a nightmare that bad. He didn’t think he had had one so vivid and terrifying since before Virgil had rescued him.
The brother lying closer to him was stirring, probably roused due to Patton’s movement and any noise he hadn’t quite managed to silence. Patton had gone to bed first of the three that night, and it was rather dark in the room, so he wasn’t sure which brother it was. He hoped that he hadn’t woken either of them. Virgil had told him that he could always wake him up if this happened, but… Patton just felt so guilty doing that. Virgil and Emile had already done so much for him.
The person lying beside him relaxed again after a moment, his breathing evening out; and Patton released his breath in a quiet, relieved sigh. He stared up into the darkness, his heart still pounding, and hoped that he would eventually fall back asleep.
…
“Hey… did I elbow someone last night?”
“What?” Virgil asked, glancing over at Emile from where he’d been sitting, in the middle of sewing up a hole in his jacket. Patton, who had been sitting nearby untangling a wad of string, stilled. He thought of the part of his dream when Marissa had flicked him. The spot on his back was still a little sore despite the injury having happened in a dream.
“I thought, maybe… I don’t know,” Emile was saying, trailing off uncertainly. He shrugged, glancing between his brother and Patton. “Sorry.”
“I mean, you do it often enough that I wouldn’t be surprised,” Virgil admitted jokingly. “But it wasn’t me.” He glanced towards Patton questioningly.
“Oh—um, maybe,” Patton admitted. “My back, I think? It wasn’t too hard. I barely even woke up. I never would have known if you hadn’t said anything.” He took a long sip of his water, glancing away.
“Oh,” Emile said, sounding relieved. “Okay. Sorry about that, anyway. It was an accident.”
Patton shook his head, setting down his cup and looking up at Emile with a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, kiddo; you were asleep. It’s not your fault. I’m fine, promise.”
Virgil glanced between the two of them, then returned to his sewing. One of the lights flickered overhead just as Virgil went to do a stitch, and he pricked his finger with the needle. Virgil sighed, sitting back. “So, are we doing anything today besides mending clothes?” he asked, sticking the tip of his sore finger in his mouth.
“I was actually meaning to talk to you two about that,” Emile said. “I need to go out and get some things.” He rolled his shoulders and stretched. “It might take a couple days, though .”
“A couple of days?” Virgil echoed. “Where are you going?”
“I need to get some stuff on the upper floors. For repairs and such. We’re running low.”
Virgil removed the finger from his mouth. “Okay. Let me come.”
Emile sighed. “No.”
Patton shifted uncomfortably. The light flickered again.
“Why not?” Virgil said, sounding annoyed now.
“I’m—I’m gonna take a walk,” Patton announced. Virgil and Emile didn’t fight very often; but things were still kind of tense between them; and it made Patton rather nervous to see, even though he knew by now that they were not going to change their minds about letting him stay.
“Wait, Pat, you don’t have to go,” Virgil said, the annoyance immediately gone from his voice.
“I won’t go far,” Patton promised, already getting to his feet.
Virgil sighed, rubbed his temple, then nodded. “…Okay. Don’t be gone too long, though, yeah?”
Patton made an affirmative noise, grabbed a water pouch from near the door, and left the room as he fastened it around his waist.
…
“Why can’t I go with you?” Virgil asked once Patton was gone, turning back to Emile. “Do you really still think I can’t do it?”
“Virgil, I can’t—”
“You can,” Virgil interrupted. “I can do it. You know it. I know it. I’ve left the walls before, so many times! Haven’t I proven myself capable? I know you’re still mad that I lied to you, but I can do it! I saved Patton from humans. I can steal a few crumbs without being caught. Why do you still treat me like a helpless child?”
“It’s not that I think you can’t do it,” Emile said as calmly as possible.
“Then what is it? Are you still mad about me saving Patton?”
“I’m not mad that you saved Patton, of course not! I’m mad because—I’m mad that you didn’t tell me about him sooner!”
Virgil paused, confused. He hadn’t told Emile about going to see Patton in the time between finding and rescuing him, that was true, but why was this somehow worse than all the other times he had left the walls without Emile’s permission?
“Look, I get that it wasn’t safe—.”
“It’s not that,” Emile snapped. “It’s not just that. It’s…. Why didn’t you tell me? Did you think I wouldn’t want to help him? Why didn’t you trust me? Did you really think that I would ever leave someone stuck in a cage, that I would be that selfish?”
“…No,” Virgil said quietly, realization dawning in his eyes. He opened his mouth to say more, but found that he had apparently forgotten how to speak.
“I just… I need some time to think. Okay?”
After a long pause, Virgil all but whispered, “You’ve had two months to think.”
“Have I?” Emile asked. “We’ve been busy trying to get Patton back on his feet—he was so sick when you brought him here, Virge; you know that. And besides that, I’ve had to be collecting supplies for three people now—and don’t you dare use that against me,” he interrupted himself, before Virgil had the chance to say that that was all the more reason for him to go with. Which may or may not have been exactly what he was about to do.
Instead, Virgil sighed. “Fine. Whatever.”
“Patton wouldn’t want to be left alone, anyway, would he?” he reasoned more gently.
Virgil thought for a moment. “I guess not,” he admitted reluctantly. He knew that Patton couldn’t do a trip like that yet, certainly not easily, and it wasn’t fair to ask him to attempt to travel that far. Emile had a point. They couldn’t leave Patton alone here for two days. Not with the nightmares he got when alone. He looked away, then got to his feet, grabbing the crutches that had been laying at his side. “I’m going to go find Patton,” he announced, already on his way out the door.
“Do you want me to wait until you get back before I leave?” Emile called after him. “I have everything mostly ready, but I can wait.”
“No, why bother?” Virgil said, his back to his brother. “Don’t let me interrupt your thinking time.” He did pause in the doorway, though, and look back at Emile. “I am sorry,” he said, his tone softer and gentler than before. “I wasn’t thinking about—When I didn’t tell you about Patton, it wasn’t because I actually thought you’d leave him. I know you would have helped him escape, too. I was just… just scared, I guess. I didn’t realize that it would seem like I thought you’d do that to him. So… I’m sorry for that. Really.”
Emile nodded, not meeting his eyes; and Virgil left the house.
…
Virgil had a pretty good idea of where he could probably find Patton. He knew that his friend wouldn’t have left the floor, which narrowed things down quite a bit. There was a spot that the two of them had visited frequently since Patton had first arrived, as the two of them went on regular walks together, trying to get Patton’s strength up.
The walks were working pretty well, and they could go a lot further now before Patton needed a rest than they had been able to at the beginning, meaning that they usually no longer needed to use this place for a rest. Patton had come a long way. Even so, they often visited there, whether Patton actually needed a break or not.
There was a spot where a hole was cut into an air vent on this floor, both to allow access to the vent and to let more of the heat it carried to reach the littles’ house in the colder months. There was a vent cover near the entrance that had a view down into the apartment below, which had a large aquarium almost perfectly placed in the center of the view the vent provided. It was a nice place to spend some time, honestly, just watching the fish swim about. Virgil went there; and sure enough, Patton was sitting in front of the vent cover, hugging his knees and looking through the slats at the fish tank below.
“Hey,” Virgil said softly, nearing.
Patton looked up. “Oh, hi, kiddo!” he greeted. “What’re you doing here?”
“Came to find you.” He sat down at Patton’s side. “How are the fish?”
“Sasha and Sweetpea keep chasing each other,” Patton answered. He had insisted on naming all ten of the fish in the tank during their past visits. “Maybe they’re playing tag.”
Virgil nodded seriously, looking down at the fish, two of which, sure enough, were chasing each other around the tank. “I’m sorry about earlier,” he said. “I hope we didn’t make you too uncomfortable.”
“It’s okay,” Patton mumbled, looking back to the fish.
“It’s okay if it’s not okay,” Virgil said.
Patton shifted, adjusting how his arms rested around his knees. “Really, Virgil—I know that you and Emile are going to fight sometimes. And I know you’re not going to kick me out. It just… makes me nervous, sometimes, that tone of voice.” He looked away with a feeble shrug. “
Virgil looked down at the floor of the vent ruminatively. After a moment, he put a reassuring arm around Patton’s shoulders. “I’ll try to not do that anymore,” he said. “And I’ll talk to Emile. We can try to have more… discussions, before things get heated.”
“It’s not even really just fighting, though,” Patton admitted softly. “It’s just…”—he smudged at his eye with his sleeve—”when she used to get annoyed, it wasn’t… It wasn’t good.” He kept staring determinedly down at the fish. “I know you’re not—you’re not even….” (Human, Virgil thought, silently finishing the sentence.) Patton swallowed. “But it still makes me nervous, for some reason. It’s not fair to ask you guys to never be annoyed with each other, or realistic. I know that.”
Virgil bit his lip, his heart sinking at the thought of having scared Patton. “How about we promise to leave the room if that happens?” he offered. “You shouldn’t have to be the one who has to leave.”
Patton seemed about to refuse, but Virgil squeezed his shoulder, and he reluctantly nodded. “If… if Emile’s okay with it,” he whispered.
“He will be, I know it. Besides,” Virgil said. “Emile and I were talking, and… we should hopefully not be fighting as much anymore. I realized I’ve been kind of a jerk to him.”
“You’re not a jerk,” Patton mumbled.
“Thanks. But… I did act like a jerk, kind of, to him. He was upset that I didn’t tell him about you before I brought you home. I guess he thought that I thought he wouldn’t want to help you. Which… I honestly hadn’t even considered.”
Patton glanced over, but he didn’t say anything.
“Anyway, I think it’s going to be better now,” Virgil said. “He’s probably out on that supply run already, though, so it’s just going to be the two of us for the next couple of days.”
…
Several minutes passed in silence, the two friends watching the aquarium below. After a while, Patton released his knees and sat back, uncurling a bit from his formerly hunched position.
“Do you think Roman and Logan are okay?” Patton asked softly. The question probably seemed out of nowhere, especially given their previous conversation topic; but Patton still thought about the humans quite a lot.
“Does it matter?” Virgil frowned, glancing at him. “They’re humans.”
“Yeah, but…” Patton bit his lip. “I’d just like to know.”
“Why?” The question seemed genuine.
“I don’t… I don’t know. They were pretty nice to me, weren’t they, even though they’re humans? I don’t really—I don’t know why they let me go, or why… anything they did. But they were nice to me. Without them, I could’ve….” Patton trailed off, uncomfortable and uncertain. “I don’t know.” The humans had saved him, really. Patton was pretty sure. He knew that he had been in bad shape when the found him—even if they had basically kidnapped him, Patton thought that their intentions were good. They had fixed up his hands, given him food and water and a place to recover from his ordeal; although, they hadn’t exactly gone about it the way that Patton would have preferred. Even after they had stopped trapping him in the cage, they left him on top of a table that he was too ill to climb down alone. There were also the multiple times they had scared him, whether it was intentional or not. Plus, while he didn’t remember much about when the humans had found him at the beach, he was pretty sure that he had not exactly been captured willingly. Still, the bad things that the humans had done didn’t negate the ways that they had attempted to help him. Even the outfit whose sleeve Patton was worrying between his fingers attested to that. The fact remained that, had Roman and Logan not found him, the chances were not insignificant that someone else would have instead. And even if that hadn’t been her… Patton would prefer not to think about it. He knew that he had gotten lucky.
If he hadn’t been caught by Logan and Roman, after all, he would never have met Virgil and Emile, would he?
Virgil brought Patton out of his thoughts when he sighed, looking up towards the ceiling. He had made it clear that he still thought that the humans had been trying to trick Patton into becoming a pet, or an experiment, or something of the sort through some kind of mind game; but he had also all but admitted that they had seemed to genuinely want to help Patton. Now, he looked conflicted.
As Patton watched, Virgil screwed his eyes shut, as if already suspecting that he was going to regret what he was about to say. “Well…” he began reluctantly, “I guess… we have some free time while Emile’s out on his supply run. If—if it’ll make you happy, we can go down to the second floor. Just for a bit, to look in on them.”
Patton sat up straighter and turned to his friend, surprised. “But… I thought you closed off all the doors?” He had been working on that for a while, starting a couple of weeks after he’d rescued Patton. Once he’d been settled in, Virgil had started leaving about one day per week to work on closing off the doors. Emile had reluctantly allowed it since it didn’t require leaving the walls, and Virgil surely wasn’t going to disobey in this case. Virgil had finished the job some time ago.
Virgil shifted at his side. “I left one,” he admitted quietly. “For emergencies.”
Patton felt a flutter of excitement. “You’re sure about this?” he checked.
…
Virgil knew he shouldn’t have made the offer.
The humans that Patton had been trapped with were just that: humans. Practically synonymous with the word “danger”. But as Virgil watched his friend’s eyes light up, he felt a bit better about his decision. What he was offering really didn’t invite a lot of danger: they were not going to let the humans see them, and they were not going to get close enough to get caught even if that did somehow happen. They were certainly not going to talk to the humans. Virgil was only offering a look at them, to show his friend that they were okay. Something he would definitely not be offering had the humans shown any sign of seriously looking for Patton. Either they had given up quickly, or they were almost hilariously incompetent at searching for him. Good news for the littles either way.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” Virgil assured, getting to his feet. “Consider it an apology for upsetting you.” He adjusted his crutches and put out a hand to help Patton up. His friend took it with a small smile; and Virgil pulled him to his feet, trying to ignore the fact that he could still feel the thick, slightly raised line of the scar across his friend’s palm. “Let me be clear, though—we’re not talking to them, or letting them see us. Just looking in on them. I left a doorway in the living room, where we can see them and stay hidden.”
“You don’t have to do this,” Patton said.
“I know. But if it’ll make you feel better, and we don’t take any risks… why not?”
#sanders sides#thomas sanders#infinitesimal!sides#moxiety#virgil sanders#patton sanders#emile picani#sanders sides fan fiction#fanfiction#ts fanfic#infinitesimal fic#We can pretend it's still Monday#right?
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❝anyway the wind blows❞ five.
Summary: (Y/N) Mercury’s journey of love, fame, and pain, alongside what would become one of the most legendary bands ever, Queen.
Pairing: Borhap!Queen x Reader, eventual Brian May x Reader
A/N: sorry i haven’t been posting !!! this chapter was kind of a pain to write so i apologize if it does seem kinda bad heuheuhsudh. happy reading! 💓
Warnings: Mentions of drinking and smoking, suggestive themes
{previous chapter} {next chapter}
“Do you really think she’ll sing this?” Roger asked, holding onto a piece of paper, while looking at Brian, confused.
Brian shrugged, “It’s worth a try.”
“I do kind of like the song,” Roger said, “But, it’s literally about girls’ arses, Brian, she’ll never sing this!”
“Sing what?”
Brian, Roger, and John all jumped at your sudden appearance, letting out breaths when they see it was just you, sipping on a juice box.
Brian then cleared his throat, and stammered, “Oh, uh, it’s noth-”
“Brian wrote a song,” Roger interrupted, immediately handing over the piece of paper over to you.
The curly-haired guitarist then smacked his blond friend’s arm in annoyance before he started to tap on his chin in nervousness, cheeks warming up, while watching you read the lyrics.
Roger expected a sour look to appear on your face while you read the paper, but then got a smile slowly growing on your face instead.
“It’s alright if you don’t want to sing it,” Brian sighed, “I was stupid to ask-”
“Fuck yeah, I’ll sing it.”
I've been singing with my band
Across the wire, across the land
I seen every blue eyed floozy on the way, hey
But their beauty and their style
Went kind of smooth after a while
Take me to them dirty ladies every time
You couldn’t decide whether you loved America or not. It was definitely your kind of place but, some people can be such a drag.
Like last night, all four of you were out in a random pub and this stocky man kept flirting with you but luckily, your three favorite lads were there to protect you.
All of them were pissed off by it, especially Brian. You didn’t think that it would still irk him until the next day.
Maybe he was just was protective of his friend?
All of the bus trips to different parts of America mostly consisted of you sleeping, drinking, smoking, destroying the lads in Scrabble, and, Roger, sometimes Brian and John, picking up a few girls here and there.
It was a quite annoying and it bothered you a lot, but that was the new lifestyle, I guess.
C'mon!
Oh, won't you take me home tonight?
Oh, down beside your red firelight
“We love you, Cleveland!”
“We love you, Houston!”
Oh, and you give it all you got
“We love you, Denver! Very happy to be here!”
Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go 'round
Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go 'round
“And are the crowds big?” Matthew asked through the phone.
“Well, we’re selling out every night. I just wish you were here to see it, they really love us.” You replied, leaning against the payphone.
“We love you, Portland!”
Hey, listen here!
Now I got mortgages on homes
You can’t help but playfully tap Brian’s arse, “He’s got a big arse, too!”
I got stiffness in my bones
“We love you, New Orleans!”
Ain't no beauty queens in this locality, I tell you
“We love you, Atlanta!”
Oh, but I still get my pleasure
Still got my greatest treasure
You called over the blond drummer to the front, “Rog! Come down here and say hello!”
“We love you, Pittsburgh!”
“Roger!”
Heap big woman, you done made a big man of me
“I’m good, I just miss you,” Matthew said, feeling a bit lonely in your shared flat.
“What are you doing? You can’t possibly be having any fun without me.” You replied, playfully.
He chuckled, “Nothing as exciting as America.”
As he was saying this, you noticed a familiar man pass by you, you didn’t realize you were staring until he, himself, stared back and had a little smug smile on his face.
He continued to walk towards the bathroom, your eyes not leaving him.
“Say hi to the boys for me,” Matthew’s voice snapped you back to reality, before you stammered, “I will, I love you.”
“Bye, (Y/N), I love you.” Matthew breathed, before ending the call to go to work.
As the man opened the bathroom door, he looked back toward you once more with a suggestive smirk and went inside.
You put the phone back and leaned against the wall, getting a view of his black t-shirt that had your band’s logo on the back above the word, ‘crew.’
Get on your bikes and ride
Ooh yeah, oh yeah, them fat bottomed girls
Fat bottomed girls
Yeah yeah yeah
Alright, ride 'em, c'mon
Fat bottomed girls, yes yes
Looking at the closed door with a sigh, you began to reflect on all the times you had felt this way, or had this kind of moment.
You felt. . . somewhat unhappy or empty. But, what more could you ask for? You and your band were literally rockstars at this point.
You still couldn’t quite figure it out yet but luckily, the amazing shows and its crowds were there to distract you from it.
After you had all returned home from the tour, a meeting was set up between the band and Ray Foster.
It was way past the agreed meeting time and Ray Foster’s office was currently in complete utter silence, except for the occasional tongue-clicking and sighs, as everyone including Reid, Paul and, Jim Beach all waited for you.
The silence was suddenly interrupted with the door slamming open, “Hello,” You greeted, walking in with an outfit that clearly contrasted everyone else’s.
“You’re late,” Foster said with a somewhat annoyed tone, as you made your way to the empty seat, “Am I?”
As you passed by, your bandmates’ eyes couldn’t help but follow your ‘figure’ that Brian definitely did not write that song about, wearing the shortest shorts they’ve ever seen.
Paul smiled, before gesturing towards the empty seat, “Saved you a seat.”
“Lovely,” You said, before sitting down, immediately grabbing a cigarette from your jacket pocket.
“Okay, so, now that we’re all here, Jim, this is Ray Foster, Ray, this is the band’s lawyer, Jim Beach,” Reid introduced them.
“Oh, you must stop calling him that,” You said, as you lit up your cigarette.
Reid sighed, “That’s his name.”
“No, we cannot keep calling him ‘Jim Beach’. No, that’s absurd, not to mention, unspeakably boring.” You counter, before taking a drag.
“Miami,” You announced, Brian letting out a chuckle, “From now on, I dub thee, Miami Beach!” You grinned, as you pointed towards him.
Jim chuckled, “The sun always sets behind you, doesn’t it? On. . . Miami Beach.”
You shot him a smile in amusement, “Hm.”
“Right. Now that everybody’s got an acceptable name, let’s get to it,” Foster began, “Look, we just really need something special. More hits, like Killer Queen. . . only bigger.”
You grabbed a record from the bag beside your chair and stood up, walking towards the record player by Foster’s desk.
“It’s not bloody widgets we’re making,” Roger chided, “We can’t just reproduce Killer Queen.”
Replacing the record with the one that you brought, “No,” You set down the tone arm onto the record, “We can do better.”
As music started to play, you looked towards your bandmates with a knowing smile before taking a drag out of your cigarette.
Brian looked at you in amusement as you started to sway around behind Foster, “It’s opera,” Foster said with a deadpan tone.
“Opera!” Reid nodded, before Paul joined in too, “Opera!”
Your bandmates nodded in enjoyment as John says, “Yeah, there seems to be an echo in here!”
Swaying along with the music, your bandmates join along as well, while Foster just looked at you in bewilderment.
As the louder part of the song came, your hand moved along with it, ending literally with a bang on Foster’s desk.
You and your bandmates began to shake, trying hard not to laugh out loud at Foster’s reaction.
Afterwards, you slowly swayed your way back to the record player, before turning down the volume.
“See, we don’t want to repeat ourselves, the same formula, over and over,” Brian explained.
“Formulas are a complete and utter waste of time,” You continued, as Brian nodded in agreement.
“Formulas work. Let’s stick with the formulas, I like formulas,” Foster said, a smile growing on his face.
Completely ignoring what he just said, “We’ll call the album. . .” You looked over towards your bandmates, “A Night at the Opera.”
Foster sighed, “Are you aware that no one actually likes opera?”
“I like opera,” Miami chimed, “Do you?” Foster looked over to him before Reid chimed in as well, “I do.”
“No, don’t misunderstand, darling. It’s a rock and roll record. . . with the scale of opera, the pathos of Greek tragedy, the wit of Shakespeare, the. . . unbridled joy of musical theater,” You grinned.
Your bandmates nodded in agreement, before you continued, “It’s a musical experience, rather than just another record.”
“Something for everyone. . . something. . .” You looked over towards your bandmates, “Something that will make people feel belongs to them.”
“We’ll mix genres, we’ll cross boundaries, we’ll. . . we’ll speak in bloody tongues if we want to!” You chuckled.
“There’s no musical ghetto that can contain us!” Roger argued.
“That’s it,” You pointed towards him.
“No one knows what Queen means because it doesn’t mean one thing!” John added.
Foster sighed, before looking over towards Reid, “What do you think, John?”
“I. . . agree with the band,” Reid gestured towards you all before Foster replied, “Of course you do. How about you, uh. . .”
“Miami,” Jim answered, as you look at him with a grin, “Fortune favors the bold.”
You turned towards Foster, placing both your hands on his desk, “Surely, a man of your. . . unique taste isn’t afraid of a little risk?”
Foster then shook his head at you, “Please don’t make me regret this.”
You grinned as you pointed towards him,
“You’re fun.”
atwb taglist; @yoonlatte // @alexfayer // @everything-you-dont-wanna-be // @itsametaphorbriansblog // @marequeenii // @killer-queen-xo // @jedi-dreea // @achernarsaa // @nevaeh-potter15 // @banana-tree-freddiemercury // @rogertaylorssunglasses // @pyrotechnic789 // @mirkwoodshewolf // @stuff-exists // @toger-raylor // @langdonzvoid // @imamazzellhoe // @tbird20165
others; @icantgetnorelief // @b-hardys // @spideyyypeter // @hunterswearingplaid
#atwb#hardyzello#borhap#bohemian rhapsody#queen x reader#borhap fanfic#brian may#brian may x reader#brian may imagine#gwilym lee#gwilym lee x reader#gwilym lee imagine#gwilym lee as brian may#roger taylor#roger taylor x reader#ben hardy#ben hardy x reader#ben hardy as roger taylor#john deacon#john deacon x reader#joe mazzello#joe mazzello x reader#joe mazzello as john deacon#borhap imagine#queen fanfiction#borhap boys
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Track By Track Reaction to Midnight by Set It Off.
This was written as I was listening. So excuse any typoes.
Killer In The Mirror - Why is it so aggressive? Why are these words so true? Why do I want to yell this at all the assholes I went to high school with? Or my old boss... Or that co-worker who ratted me out for something I didn’t do? Acturally this is quite a bop. Like I have no idea what “killer in the mirror” really means but I actually feel it in my bones... Yes. I’m going to send this to all those poeple who were assholes in high school. Yup.
Hourglass - Reminds me a bit of old school SIO. Really digging this song. Is this song about a middle age crisis? Or an existential crisis? I think middle aged... Why is that relateable when I’m only 25? For some reason I want to go reread all those texts message I sent with my ex best friend that I kind of miss alot... Wait. This is the epitomy of reading old text messages with your ex at 3am... Then writing a pissy drunk text and deleting it?
Lonely Dance - This album is literally how I feel every other day. The anthem of those of us who have anxiety and hate people. This how I feel when I’m writing in my room late at night surrounded by my obscure Marvel and music collection that no one ever sees... Also a BOP. I’m going to blast this on repeat every other day and scream the lyrics in my car, even when people are in the car with me. Yes. Yes. This song is my new anthem.
Different Songs - Why is this song about action figures? Oh wait... A guitar? Is this about old school SIO changing? OMG IT IS! No wait... It’s about growing apart with the people you used to know? Wait no they are flipping off everyone who’s talking about their style changing? Wait... No it’s about an old relationship? I can’t figure this one out. Oh who cares. Another song I wanna dance to. But think it’s the one about growing apart.
For You Forever - Already digging the change in pace. A little slower... Don’t hate it. OH SNAP! Bring that chorus around. You tell that person to stop stringing you along, Cody. YOU TELL THEM! Why is this also relatable? I hate this. Give me a song I can’t relate to on this album. Come on SIO!
Dancing With The Devil - Demon voice? WHAT!? Wait... Why does this start sound like We Can’t Stop by Miley Cyrus? Did anyone else realize this? Not bad though... Not my favorite... I don’t think I like this one... Why is Cody now a demon? What’s he doing? Why don’t I like this? Why do I also want to sing along? Are there more than 1 demon in that back track? Why is is slow now? What is this song... Why is he angry again? I’m so distracted by the demon voice I can’t listen to the words. HE’S TALKING REALLY FAST!!!! Bring back the chorus CODY! And Demon man is back... Phew. Finished.
Go To Bed Angry - Another slow beat... I can dig this. A little sway in my chair. Cool. Cool. I wish people listened to this anthem more often. Going to bed angry is literally bad for your health. Check the studies. Cody is onto something. GIRL!? WHO IS GIRL!? (check track) Oh it does say there’s a feature artist. Okay. She’s got a good voice. I should check her out... She’s no Ash Costello in Parners in Crime but.... Let’s all just go to bed happy. Send this to people who are mad at you when they pull the “Night.” text and hope they get the message? Not my favorite song on this album but not my least so far...
Midnight Thoughts - YES! My favorite song heard before the release! JAM TIME! Mostly because this is literally how I feel every night. Excuse me while I go dance a bit and try not to wake up the roommates while I celebrate the existance of this song. ooooOOOoooOOOooo!
Criminal Minds - Why does this sound like something that should be Hercules... That Disney movie you know and- Wait. What? This is a very different sound... I... I think I like it? I feel like this should be a musical or something. Like Cody is singing a solo in an emotional musical. He’s the protagonist. He’s a detective falling in love with the suspect, but this is the scene where he has a mental breakdown about what he should do about this situation. He’s debating running away with the suspect but he knows she might be guilty... And now we are full circle to that tour they did back in like 2014 with the masks and stuff with the Bonnie and Clyde story. Oh it’s over...
No Disrespect - Ooooo I like this guitar. This is the next number in the musical I was talking about. The suspect ran off with her drug dealer boyfriend after Cody let her go. Now he’s losing his job and pissed off at her. I need to get off this musical thing... This is a funky song. I like it. I wonder who pissed off Cody again? Piano? What!? Acoustic guitar? Where is this going? Now we’re in a romantic ballad? Never mind... He’s still mad...
Stitch Me Up - Awwww... This reminds me of my best friends that have helped put me back together after all the shitty things I’ve been through... Already loving this song. The beat is good and lyrics are so amazing. I love this message as well... Everything you went through makes you who you are. My cat has even emerged to listen to this song. He’s digging it as well. YEAH CAT! When the cat approves it’s a good song right? This ones in the top 5 of this album. Yup. Also reminds me of S-Club7 for some reason?
Raise No Fool - Call out all those fakers! YES! I like this. WHAT A JAM! Screw all the people who have tried to use me. I’mma send this to my old boss. In a random email. 2 years from now. When she forgets. Where was this song 3 months ago when I lost my job? Because this was perfect to decribe what happened. Instead of trying to type out what happened I could have just sent them this song! Also should send it to those people who strung me along over the years... The losing my job is just fresh. Also in the top 5. I’ll sing this LOUD at the next show. Don’t worry y’all. Abrupt end though?
I Want You (Gone) - Someone hurt you!? WHO HURT YOU!? Someone hurt me... This is literally how I felt when I stopped talking to you like 3 years ago... And was ignoring all my friends and family telling me they were draining my happiness. Nothing was more relieving than taking all your stuff and shoving it in a box under my bed. Still trying to get my life back after those almost 5 years of my life wasted. There’s the trumpet! I was waiting for a trumpet. I like this song. Do I like this song or just the lyrics? Another song that seems like it should be in a musical. What if I wrote a musical with all these songs in it? Can I get those rights? Set It Off... Let’s chat about that. The next Broadway hit is Midnight.
Unopened Windows - A VERY slow jam... This is cute... When it’s gonna turn dark... I feel it coming... Such a sweet song though. I wanna make a cover of this song. It’s so sweet. This would also be perfect in that musical we talked about. Oooo it’s picking up a bit... This feels so raw compared to their usual music. Why they gotta throw this curve ball at me? They better play this on the next tour. So I can cry... Now I wanna cry... I’mma cry... It’s making me sad... So many feels... I’m crying... This is a part 2 to Dad’s Song. Holy shit... No one warned me about this emotion!!! I miss Cloe so damn much...
Happy All The Time - Still trying to get over Unopened Window’s. Hold on. Okay I can listen to this now. I’m half way through and can’t focus. I’m not crazy? Thank you, Cody. I like this. Sounds like another anthem. This was a good follow up to me bawling... Jesus... Okay. I forgive them. They literally just told me the fact I cried was okay because I don’t have to be happy all the time.
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Somebody to Love
Hello everyone! So this is my first Maylor Fanficiton... Also the first time I’ve uploaded a Fanficition to Tumblr. I wanted to give these two a shot! I hope you all enjoy it... No Smut, just fluff, some kissing, friends to lovers! Please tell me what you think :)
Enjoy!
“Find me somebody to...
Love…!”
Freddie’s voice rang through the studio as Brian quickly picked up the guitar solo, trying to keep time with just the piano and bass in the back.
“No- Stop, stop, stop.” The lead quickly stopped playing his piano and dramatically waved his hands. The other two men sighing softly.
“Bloody hell, where is that drummer?! He’s very late!… and that’s ME saying something!” Freddie exclaimed.
“He’s usually the first one here… Brian, has he talked to you?” The quiet bassist asked curiously, but the taller man just shook his head. “No… We haven’t talked since practice yesterday. He said he was going to meet Dominique for a date or something. After that, I haven’t heard a peep from him.” Brian says, looking toward the door. Hoping the blonde would burst through energetically, but of course no such thing happened. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t worried about his long time friend. Roger was normally never late and frequently bitched about Freddie’s lateness…
“Maybe he was in an accident, or car broke down? It’s pouring out there after all…” John says quietly, a hint of worry to his calm voice.
“Roger? Car breaking down? Ha! He would let himself break down before his beloved car!” Freddie laughs making the two men smile slightly, but Brian’s smile fading to a worried frown.
“But an accident… Do you really think…?” He asks quietly, looking back at the door.
“No. I just think he’s late, for whatever reason.” Freddie assures. “Rog doesn’t drive recklessly. He probably was going to leave and saw how it was raining. His phone line could have been knocked out by the storm so he can’t get ahold of us. Just relax, Bri…”
“...Yeah, you’re probably right…” Brian nods his head, giving a small smile before looking down at his guitar. Fingers mindlessly dancing along the chords.
“Either way, I think we can agree that we’re not getting anywhere in these songs without him here. As much as we all pick on and bitch at each other, we can’t deny that we each need the others…” John sighs, taking his bass off and setting it down gently.
“Let’s call it a night the-” Freddie began but stopped as the doors opened and revealed Roger walking in. Head down. Soaked down to the bone.
“Rog, Darlin’, there you are! You’re soaked!” Freddie exclaimed dramatically, strolling to the blonde quickly. John and Brian not far behind.
“Ye-yeah...so-sorry I’m late…” Roger’s voice is quiet and almost lifeless.
“Rog, what’s wrong? You must be cold…” John says before turning to search the studio for something to help dry the blonde off. Freddie noticed and joined the bassist in his search.
“...Roger, are you okay…?” Brian asked softly, putting his hand on the younger mans shoulder. Roger remained silent, but looked up to meet the guitarist hazel eyes. Brian was shocked to see the tears in his friends eyes.
“Rog… What is it? Talk to me…” Brian tried again, but this just made the tears flow down the blondes cheeks. Roger looked down quickly, shaking his head.
“Here, we found a towel…” John said as he jogged over, holding it to Roger. But the blonde made no move to take it, instead Brian took it.
“Rog, do you want to talk to us?” Freddie asked, worry coating his voice. Roger shook his head.
“...Do you want to talk to Brian?” John asked quietly. Roger stayed quiet for a moment before nodding softly.
“O-oh! Okay… Do you wanna go to the back of the studio? Outside?” Brian asked quickly.
“O-outside…” Roger said softly. The older man nodded before putting his hand on the blondes shoulder and started to lead him out. Looking back the the worried faces of their bandmates.
The rain was pouring down and it was dark already. The autumn air and wind making it even colder than it already was. Brian lead Roger to the side of the building, under a small part of shelter so they could sit and remain dry. And they did. They sat there for what felt like an hour in complete silence.
“...Rog, what’s wrong? You can talk to me… Is it something to do with Dominique?” Brian asked softly, the other just nodded.
“Did… did you two break up for something…?” He asked again, trying not to sound too pushy.
“Ye-yeah…” Roger’s voice broke slightly as he looked up to meet Brian’s eyes. For as long as he’s known Roger, he’s never seen him cry from a simple break up… Yeah, he’s been upset, but never like this. Dominique and him have been with each other for awhile, but…
“Why are you crying…? Do you miss her so much already?” Brian wondered. Roger shook his head.
“N-no...i-it...it’s more on how we broke up…” The blonde replies, averting his eyes and facing down again.
“How…? What happened, Rog? Bloody hell, you didn’t catch her cheating or something?” Brian asked, suddenly feeling anger flare inside him.
“N-No! No-nothing like that, Bri…” Roger instantly assures his friend. Brian calms himself after a moment, waiting for the drummer to tell him more.
“...Roger. Come on. Tell me what’s up.” He says a bit sternly.
“I-I… Brian… She broke up with be-because… u-um…” The blonde was struggling with his words, but seemed to calm as he felt Brian’s hand rest on his shoulder.
“Rog. Look at me.” The older man said gently. Roger kept looking down for a moment before casting his eyes to meet Brian’s.
“Tell me. Roger, I’ve been your best friend for-...Jeez. For how many years? I’m here for you.” He told the younger man. Those blue eyes searched Brian’s for any hint of doubt.
“I-....Brian… She broke up with me because….well…. I-...I’m gay…” He admits quietly.
“...I’m sorry. You’re...what?” Brian had to be sure he heard Roger correctly. He’s gay? There’s no way… For how long, both him and Roger have talked and thought about nothing but girls. And now he’s suddenly gay?
“I-...Dammit, Brian. You heard me…” Roger looks away angrily.
“I’m just… trying to figure out… how you’re gay, Rog… You’re more of a womanizer than I ever was.” Brian says slowly, trying not to sound too rude but still trying to understand.
“What the hell do you mean ‘how’?!” Roger exclaims, anger flaring in his eyes.
“Rog. It’s just… again… You were into women before I was! It’s kind of hard to think you’re gay…” The older man repeats his earlier comment with a bit more detail.
“I-... I… only acted like that, Bri…” Roger confessed.
“....Acted….? Roger, why would you act like something you’re not? You could have told me…” Brian says softly. “Just cause you’re gay doesn’t make me think differently of you…” “...You might…” Roger said sadly.
“What do you mean? Why would it change anything?” Brian couldn’t believe that Roger didn’t trust him enough to tell him before. His best friend for years…
“I-...it just would!” The blonde yells out slightly.
“...Rog…” The older tries to keep his voice soft to make the younger calm down. “Why did you act… Why didn’t you trust me…” “Be-because… I was sacred you would hate me after you found out… an-and….” And I acted that way so you wouldn’t find out I loved you. He thought silently.
“Roger, I could never hate you! We’re like brothers!” Brian quickly said and it took everything for Roger to not cry out at the breaking of his heart from that comment.
“...brothers...huh?” Roger said softly. The rain almost drowning out the weak sound in his voice, but Brian noticed the change in Roger. Almost like the air around him turned darker.
“Rog…? How do you know you’re gay…? There must be… someone… you like…?” Brian asks carefully, slowly piecing everything together in his own head, but needing to hear the younger man say it.
“Brian… I… I don’t want to talk about this anymore…” The drummer quickly said while starting to stand, but Brian shot his hand up and grabbed his wrist.
“Rog… tell me.” He said sternly, gently tugging him back down. Looking over the blonde. Waiting.
“...Bri...I...I don’t want you to-” “I won’t hate you, Rog. I told you. I could never hate you.” Brian cuts the younger man off quickly. Their eyes meeting and locking. Brian refusing to look away, wanting to look him in the eyes.
“Tell me.” He says softly. “Tell me, for how long have you liked me, Rog?” Rogers blue eyes widen slightly, but unable to break the eye contact between them.
“I-I-I…” He stutters, unable to form any words while his mind races.
“...It’s okay, Rog… I mean… I’m not going to lie to you… I-... I don’t exactly swing that way… But I support you fully…” Brian tries to sound as nice as possible. Not sure if outright telling Roger that they weren’t going to happen was a good idea at the moment, but… He wanted to be truthful and not give his friend false hope. But he could feel his heart clench as tears flowed down the blondes face.
“Rog-”
“N-no, Bri… I understand…” Roger forces a smile. “I knew we would never…” His voice cracks and he shakes his head. “I knew we would never be together… But… I’m glad I have your support…” He finishes before standing back up.
“I-... You… will always have my full support, Roger…” Brian says, not wanting to push this any further. “I’m here for you, Rog… Anytime you want to talk…” He stands up, putting his hand on the others shoulder once more.
“...Ye-yeah. Thanks, Bri…” Roger smiles painfully up at his long time friend…
“Of course… The rain has let up. Freddie is probably just gonna call it a night.” Brian said, searching the pain written on Roger’s face. Guilt pulling at his heart.
“Probably… I can give you a lift home?” Roger asks, but Brian can’t help but feel like that’s not the best idea at the moment.
“I promised John that I would head with him. He needed some help… on this song of his…” He felt bad lying, but he didn’t want to push Roger.
“O-oh. Yeah, he does have a new idea doesn’t he…?” Roger asks while laughing softly, trying to hide the disappointment before walking past Brian with his head down.
It had been about a week since Roger came out to Brian and the guitarist has noticed the blonde… avoiding him at almost all costs… Only talking to the older man when it was band related and they were around the other two. Brian couldn’t understand why Roger was acting like this… acting… He acted straight to hide the fact he was gay from Brian… So why now was he acting and being so distant…
“Oy! Earth to Brian!” All of a sudden Freddie snapped his fingers in front of Brian’s face, causing him to flinch back.
“You’ve been staring at Roger for the past 5 minutes!” Freddie declared making his eyes slightly widen before looking at Roger who was looking over at his cymbal to his right. Brian could see a slight blush to his cheeks.
“I-...sorry.” He said quickly. Shaking his head and looking back at Freddie, managing a smile. Freddie didn’t seem to buy that shitty smile for a second.
“Ever since you two talked last week you’ve both been acting weird!” He snaps, obviously not pleased by two of his bandmates not focusing on the work. Both Brian and Roger remained silent making Freddie sigh out.
“Jesus, you two! Kiss and make up or something!” He yells out before walking to the back room angrily. John looked between Brian and Roger before slowly following Freddie, leaving the two alone in awkward silence.
“...Rog.” Brian sighs out, slowly walking over to the tense man behind the drums. “Why… Why are you ignoring me.”
“I-...I’m not…” Roger says softly, looking super interested in his drum sticks.
“You are. You’re doing it right now.” The older says.
“Am not… I’m talking to you, aren’t I…?” The blonde says, rolling the sticks in his hands.
“Barely. You’re not even looking at me!” Brian exclaims. Roger remains silent before slowly looking up at Brian’s hazel eyes.
“There. I looked at you. Happy?” Roger huffs before standing from his stool and moving around his drum to walk away. Brian grabbed his wrist before he could get far.
“Rog, stop being such a bloody bitch! Talk to me!” Brian yells, his anger boiling.
“Excuse me?!” The blonde yelled while yanking his wrist away. “Why should I talk to you?!” He yells.
“Because I'm your Best Friend!!” Brian yells right back.
“Yeah! That's the problem, Brian!! I-...I can't.. I just can't come to terms with all this yet! Even though I've always known we would never be together, it still hurts!!” He tries to blink the tears from his blue eyes. “I just… need some time, Brian… It's hard seeing you everyday… knowing you know….knowing you'll never feel the same… it's hard to try and change my feelings when you're always so bloody nice to me… always there for me…”
“Rog… I-....I'm sorry… I didn't think about it like that…” Brian's anger instantly disperses as it all sinks in. Of course Roger would want to distance himself… You can't just fall out of love with someone… but… the thought of Roger not loving him… somehow made Brian feel very uneasy. He hated the idea of it… but why…? He didn't think of the blonde that way… did he..? Looking down at Roger, he couldn't deny that the young man was very attractive. He'd always been the Pretty Boy. All the girls loved him and many guys copied his style… And Roger’s personality was very inviting too. He understood why so many women flung themselves at him…
“.... I know you only mean good, Brian…. I know…. But…. I can't move on like this…” The blonde admits in a soft voice. “I've loved you for years. It's not going to be easy for the feelings to just… poof, go away…”
“....what if… what if I don't want them to go away…?” Brian asks softly. Earning a confused look from Roger.
“Bri, what are you talking ab-!” before Roger could finish, he was cut off by the taller man leaning down and kissing him. His blue eyes widening while Brian's hazel eyes closed. They stood there for a few moments, lips connected, before Brian pulled away to look at the younger man.
“Br-Bri… th-this isn't funny…” Roger says softly, eyes still wide as he tries to connect the dots on what the actual fuck just happened.
“It wasn't meant to be funny, Rog. I wanted to kiss you.” Brian says simply like it wasn't a big deal.
“But why? You told me…” His blue eyes look away as he remembers how nice Brian tried to be while rejecting his feelings.
“Yes. That was a week ago, when it was sprung up on me… But… for some reason, I hate the thought of you trying to stop loving me… And then I started to think of what it would feel like to kiss you.” Brian admitted, looking away as he realized how selfish he sounded.
“....well…?” The blonde asked after a moment of silence.
“....’well’ what?” Brian asked looking back at Roger.
“....what did it feel like…? The kiss, I mean…” Roger asks slowly, trying not to look away. Brian thought for a minute before answering.
“I didn't hate it… Honestly, I think it's something I could get use to… We could always try again, just to be sure…?” The taller man slowly says. Roger shifts slightly as he thinks.
“....yeah… we could try….” He agrees, Brian nodding. Both of them standing there awkwardly before Brian finally took the first step, leaning down. Roger slowly followed and leaned up making their noses brush together. They stared at each other, almost as a last minute chance for either to back away before Brian closed his eyes and had their lips meet. Roger tensed slightly before relaxing, closing his eyes, and kissing the older man back. Their lips moved together awkwardly before they found a nice, slow rhythm. After a minute of testing, Brian pulled away just enough to look down at Roger who slowly opened his eyes.
“....Well…?” Roger asked again. Brian was quiet before he slowly leaned back down, recapturing the blondes lips. Hands slowly resting on the smaller hips. It took Roger a moment to recover from shock, but soon his arms found their way around Brian’s neck, pulling the taller man down more. Slowly, they both pulled away.
“...I thought you weren't gay…” Roger says first, making Brian smile.
“I…. I'm not, Rog… I think it's just you.” Brian confesses, making the younger man blush.
“Really…?” He asks and Brian nods.
“Yeah… I think… I think this could work… If you want to try…” Brian says.
“Try…? Like…”
“Like, will you be my boyfriend, Rog?” The older asks. Roger couldn't form words. He had dreamed of this…
“I-I… Ye-yeah! I would love to!” He finally manages to force out, unable to keep a giant smile from spreading on his lips. Brian gives a cheeky smile before leaning down and kissing the blonde again. Arms completely wrapping around his waist this time while Roger’s hangs tangled into Brians curly hair.
“Have you two drama queens made u-...up...yet…” The two quickly pulled away from each other, but it was too late. Freddie was already standing in plain view, mouth agape, and sun glasses falling from him hands. John behind with a very similar expression.
“I-...er… Well… Yeah, we… made up.” Brian tries to sound casual.
“Made up?! You two were bloody making out! When I said kiss and make up, I didn’t actually think you would!” Freddie laughs, John looking like he was still trying to process the scene he just witnessed. Roger blushes slightly.
“Oh! Bugger off, Fred!” He yells, but Freddie pays his attitude no mind.
“I didn’t think either of you were gay! Or with each other~!” He winks.
“We’re not… well.. I’m not gay… it’s… just something about Roger…” Brian smiles down at the blonde. “And we just got together.” “So sweet, my little dears! I think I may have a cavity, Roger~!” Freddie exclaims, making all of them roll their eyes.
“Well… In any case. You both have full support from us, you know that?” John says calmly, finally able to piece everything together in his head.
“Yeah…” Roger says, nodding his head with a smile. “We know…” “Well good. Now. Can we get this bloody song on the road?!” Freddie yells with a teasing smile.
“Yea, Freds. Let us get our equipment.” Brian says, flashing a grin at Roger as he walks past to get back behind his drums.
“Ugh. Not even 5 minutes in their relationship and they’re already eye fucking each other.” Freddie teases again, earning a small glare from Brian.
“Calm down, darlin’. Now. Let’s rock!”
#maylor#queen#fanfiction#gay#First Maylor Fanfic#Go Easy On Me#I'm Soft#Fluff#Angst#Coming Out#Friends to Lovers#brian may#roger taylor#freddie mercury#john deacon#Band#Love these two
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