#oh yeah reason the guy was a crow and not a human

[takem46]

Last night I had an insane dream about a Slay the Princess-esque game, but instead of the princess and the protag, the main characters were a girl who was the protag, and a crow who takes on the role of princess.

The game starts with the protag waking up in an empty building. (similar to the cabin in StP, but more industrial and back-alley looking) She barely remembers anything about herself, and doesn't know how she got there, all she knows is that she wants to get out. As she searchs for an exit, she meets a crow who feels oddly familiar to her, and decides accompanys her. The thing about him though, is that he's really pushy and annoying, and eventually she ends up killing him out of rage.

Similar to StP, the timeline resets to the beginning, (like, true reset, not death reset, if that makes sense lol) but this time instead of a crow, she meets a snow leopard who acts entirely different from the crow. Like in StP, the crow takes on different forms depending on the girl's actions, and every reset her memories of the previous loop are wiped.

This goes on for a bit, until it's revealed that both the protag and the crow are dead. It's shown that before his death, the crow was a human who was in love with the girl. But it turns out he was lowkey an incel, and ended up getting the both of them hit by a car. So now they're both in the afterlife. It's also revealed that the crow has known this the whole time, and has been switching animals and personalities in an attempt to get the girl to fall in love with him.

Unfortunately, I didn't get to see what happened next because I woke up after that. But looking back it at, it's cool to think about it's weirdly coherent plot and the obvious StP influences. It's so well put together that I honestly feel like I could expand on it if I wanted to, and I kinda do lol. Anyways, if you've read this far, thank you and have a good day/night <333

[sillygoofyqueer]

I love the idea of rumors flying about the Corvid King! ♥️

They might not assume it’s a demon though, with it also having yao and regular crows ‘under its control’. They might think it’s some sort of corvid deity.

To Clarify:

In many Xianxia works there are both Heavenly Officials/Celestial type Gods, and also different varieties of earthbound/local Deities/Spirits.

Remember the goddess statue in MDZS? The statue did become a ‘goddess’, but clearly not the heavenly kind.

With that in mind, as long as humans don’t spot Shen Yuan with his zuiyin visible and figure out the ex-Jinwu connection, they might just assume he’s a fairly powerful local corvid deity that Huan Hua somehow managed to piss off. 😂

Poor Binghe searching his memory trying to figure out if he cleaned up a crow deity’s shrine or helped out a crow at some point. There must be some reason it’s being so nice to him!

It’s also hilarious to imagine Shen Yuan accidentally succeeding in corvid rulership, where several past Heavenly Demon crows failed (due to crows generally not giving a shit about heavenly beings). Who knew the secret was not bullying them for tribute, but befriending them and helping them find shiny things instead?

Really though, in retrospect it’s the obvious way to go about it. Crows are known for ‘adopting’ humans who are nice to them after all, and hassling anyone they perceive as bothering their person. By being very chill and not dying when mobbed, then being nice and helpful afterwards, Shen Yuan just keeps successfully integrating himself into every group!

Since he’s Shen Yuan, he probably also keeps accidentally seducing the young male yao and demon corvids, and insists on both spoiling and giving lessons to the fledglings.

Oooooh, I completely forgot about that!! Everyone's walking around whispering about an 'ancient corvid deity' and Shen Yuan's sat in his cosy nest home like "woah...guys, we have to steer clear of this deity, alright?? We don't know how it takes control of corvids, so we have to stay safe!!" and all of his beloved corvids are looking around in mutual agreement of "he's a fucking moron, but he's our fucking moron" Luo Binghe staring at these cool ass artifacts in his woodshed, desperately grasping for the last time he had even BEEN in a shrine, let alone done anything that deserves this level of kindness from a DEITY of all things!!!! The idea of Shen Yuan making friends with different groups of corvids and then there's just a few instances where different groups clash while going to greet their heavenly crow demon, and he's just like "oh hey, besties, aren't you all just so cool?" and everyone's pausing for a moment before deciding "yeah, you passed the vibe check" and immediately yanking him into a 'leadership' role of sorts. Different demon corvids and yao stumbling over themselves to gain Shen Yuan's attention, scuffling the moment he turns his back on them and then batting their eyelashes and OFFERING UP shiny things for him. He's just completely oblivious, cooing over them the same way he does with the fledglings, petting them on the heads and letting them all cuddle up to him as he reads to them (even if he thinks some of them are getting a bit old for it...)

[fictionalslvr]

SYNOPSIS: You always had a fear for slasher movies, but your boyfriend with a mask kink will help you with that.

PAIRING: Ghostface masked¡Leon x GN¡Reader

WORD COUNT: 2.430k

WARNINGS: SMUT/NSFW, roleplay, mask kink, Leon dresses as Ghostface, consent, fucking in the kitchen, on the counter, scream movies references! Dom¡Leon.

NOTES: Just wanted to do something for Halloween and not let it just pass through without nothing. Even if it's small, i hope you guys enjoy :)

You were gripping into the sheets of the couch. Your eyes were glued to the tv as you kept your body fumbling around to ease the fright away. The way the murderer on the screen was killing his victims with no pity was making your gut knot and a bad sensation creeping from your spine all the way up to your nape, and you swear you could hear voices screaming, pleading for your help and calling for your name as if you were the only one who could save them. Those poor souls, you couldn’t help them even if you wanted to. You closed your eyes when that grotesque man lifted his ax, ready to spare an innocent soul and just collected even more reasons to burn in the pit of hell for the rest of his post-life. The joints of your fingers were turning white as you grip tightly into the sheets, you couldn’t stand that movie not even a second anymore. And honestly, you didn’t know how your boyfriend was so normal about something that almost made you puke out your organs in disgust.

With an agonizing yelp, it was enough for you. You shut your eyes closed, feeling like you’re in the victim's skin and like you’re about to be killed. You were transported to that abandoned house of the movie, facing that assassin right in front of your eyes, you could see the lack of humanity in his eyes. Your chest was rising up and down non-stop, you looked around and saw how you didn’t have a way to escape, and the crows around were already hungry, his deep empty black eyes staring at you. The crows on the tree branch next roared. Without noticing, your boyfriend took the remote and paused the movie, finally taking note of your shaking state of fear.

—”Hey, baby…what happened?” Leon orotundly said, one of his hands making way to your shoulder. You jolted, still visibly startled, you opened your eyes to see around and see that you’re still in your house, safe. —”You don’t seem fine.”

His lips pursed as his face turned into a preoccupied frown. You took a sharp intake of air, slowly regaining your bearings.

—”I…I was…there.” You pointed to the tv, he followed your finger and tilted his head to the side. Slowly, the corners of his lips turned into a cheeky smile.

—”Oh. So is my precious angel scared?” He leaned closer, letting a sardonic chuckle escape as his biceps brought you closer to his body. —”There’s no need to be, okay? I’m right here to protect you.”

With a huff, you slapped his hand softly over your shoulder, in an attempt to push him away. That insolent smile made it clear that he was not taking you seriously at all.

—”I’m being serious, Leon.” You got up from the couch, with a sigh and looked down at your boyfriend, who’s carefreely manspreading there still. —”I don’t find it funny.”

He tried his best to vanish his smile, but he couldn’t. Instead, he got up with his hands on his thighs to help him raise his body up. His figure walks closer, his hands crawling all the way to your waist and bringing you close. Leon and his graceful pair of deep blue eyes darted to you, you always swore you could drown on them since the first time you looked at them.

—”I’m sorry, it was not my intention to make fun of you, darling.” Leon's face approached your neck, leaving a soft gentle kiss there that made you feel like levitating.

—”But you were making fun of me, I know that damn smile.”

—”Uhm, yeah. Maybe I was, just a little.” He melted into a laughter, you felt the hot air leaving his mouth and going against your skin, making your skin bristle. —”But don’t be mad at me, please. I couldn’t contain seeing you so scared because of a movie.”

—”You know that I don't like these slasher movies, they’re gross.”

—”You’re right. But they have hot villains too.”

—”Do you find those monsters hot, Leon?”

—”And who doesn't?” Your boyfriend lifted his face, he had a perplexed expression, speechless that you don’t seem to agree with him on that.

—”I don’t know how you find these…things hot.” Gesturing your hands to the tv, he gasped audibly, straightening up his stance to fight you with arguments.

—”And how DON’T you find them hot?” He shook his head in disbelief, pressing his own lips together. —”I don’t know how to explain, but the ones with masks are even better.”

—”You’re crazy.” It’s your time to giggle, finding it strange how he was defending his favorite characters.

—”Oh come on, you’re telling me that you never felt a single thing for Ghostface?”

—”I mean…was I supposed to?”

—“Of course, darling! He’s ironic and makes great jokes and plus, he has a hot voice.”

—”That modified voice?”

—”Yes, that one.” He smiled, biting his lower lip. You lifted one eyebrow at him, astonished. —”Look, I can prove to you that Ghostface is hot. You’ll see that you’re wrong.”

—”I doubt that, I'm mostly terrified by him.” You sighed, letting your body fall down into the couch again. Leon followed you, and quickly, you felt his weight above you, his hands around your body keeping you trapped into a big hug.

—”And why are you terrified by him?”

—”Look, I…I don't know exactly. But he creeps me out.” Honestly, you didn’t have exact reasons, maybe it is your (ir)rational fear of killers that made you feel like that.

—”Is it because of what is happening in the town?” Leon took one curl of your hair, playing with it whilist your body was being smashed by his weight.

—”You’re talking about all those deaths suddenly in the region? Maybe it is. The feeling that a serial killer close to us really scares me even more.”

—”But I'm here to protect you, silly.” He pouted, kissing your lips briefly as your hair curls are where his eyes were focused.

—”I know this, but what if you’re not around to protect me?”

—”It won’t happen. Now forget this thing for a moment.” Leon looked you in the eyes, kissing your lips again but this way lingering for more. You smiled at him.

—”I better trick myself into believing this.”

—”But hey…I may have a way to ease your fears right now.”

—”What are you planning to do, mister?” You giggled, not knowing what to expect next of your boyfriend plans. His smile turned wicked for a moment, he brought himself closer to your ear and whispered.

—”I bought a fantasy, and maybe this could help you out.”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖🕸️🕷.𖥔 ݁ ˖

That’s where you find yourself now, somehow you agreed to this and decided to give it a try at your boyfriend’s fantasy. Against the cold countertop, your elbow was slightly cold due to the contact with the wood piece in your kitchen, the sound of your phone ringing startled you, making you dart your face to the phone in your hands, the unknown number calling out made you gulp down.

—”H-Hello…?” Holding the phone out next to your ear, you heard a heavy breathing on the other side, making your hands tremble.

—”What’s your favorite scary movie?” That firm and inexpressive voice asked you, just as Leon told it was going to be before. Even if you agreed to that, the fear is unbearable.

—”I…I don't like scary movies.”

—”Oh. And why don’t?”

—”Because they’re scary. I don’t like to feel scared.” You sighed. Walking around the kitchen with the phone close, you wonder where Leon is hiding during this roleplay.

—”Too scared, aren’t you just a precious angel?” He chuckled with that strange voice, making you twist your nose. —”You never told me your name.”

—”Why do you wanna know my name?”

—”I wanna know who I'm looking at.” That was not in the script. Your heart almost jumped out of your chest in the most cartoonist way possible, your eyes roaming everywhere to find where he is.

—”Leon…this was not in the script. Stop scaring me!” You blurted out to the air, not even the breathing was heard on the phone anymore. That’s when your eyes catch a glimpse you didn’t recognize.

A masked man in your window door outside, tilted his head to the side and waved at you. You felt your eyes slowly grow bigger by the sight. The phone fell from your hands right on the ground, Leon didn’t tell you about that. The lights frickle, making everything black in a flash, you yelped, holding onto your own shoulders and shutting your eyes in hope this was just a nightmare.

But the hands that creeped in your waist showed you this was no nightmare, it was totally real. In the darkness your breath hitched as that masked man made his way behind you, pulling you close to his body by the waist. When the light comes back again, you look over your shoulder.

—”Leon! What the hell was that?!”

—”Leon? Oh no. Sorry ‘bout your boyfriend. All those…muscles didn’t help much.” You tried to step back, the danger is right in front of you, and it’s not your boyfriend. That modified voice was making you want to pass out, your mind was dizzy when your hands tried to push him by the chest with no success.

—”I’m not joking! S-Stop this.”

—”You’re so pretty…and now you’re all mine.” His masked face leans closer, sniffing the crook of your neck and holding you in place with his arms.

—”Let me go! This is not fun at all.” You heard a chuckle coming from his lips, the man slowly made his way to the hem of his mask, taking it off to show that familiar blonde hair and blue eyes. Your lungs finally rest, taking a deep relieved breath. The voice you hear next is not unknown anymore.

—”You fucker! Why didn’t you tell me you were going to do that?”

—”It would ruin the fright.” Leon leaned closer, kissing your cheeks gently after almost making your soul fly away from your body. —”I’m sorry, if I was cruel, I would keep going. But I don't want to make anything further without your permission.”

—”And…what do you want to do?” He pushes your body against the counter, lifting you and putting your weight down on that cold counter.

—”I love and hate to see you scared, my angel. Makes me want to protect and fuck you at the same time.”

—”You’re a kinky freak, Leon.” You two chuckle together, Leon put his hands on your thighs to caress your skin softly.

—”Maybe i am. Would it be a problem to you to be fucked by me with the mask?” Your eyes go wide with his suggestion, you make a perplexed face to him, pressing your lips together to think. —”Please, angel…I always wanted to do that.”

That alluring voice, you couldn’t deny anything to it. With a light chuckle, you shake your head.

—”Okay…okay. But only this time.” Leon celebrated it with a boyish giggle, kissing your lips deeply before putting on that mask again. —”Use your own voice too, please.”

He nodded, his face no longer visible before his hands lifted all the way underneath to your skirt. He quickly played with the hem of your panties, you could already visualize your boyfriend’s smirk behind that mask.

—”Can I, my angel?” It’s your time to nod, biting your lower lip to suppress the pathetic moan to escape from your lips. It was strange, but somehow…it was turning you on.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖🕸️🕷.𖥔 ݁ ˖

You never thought about having this. The love of your boyfriend with slasher movies and masked villains was normal, at least you thought so. But after seeing Leon in that mask, something inside you changed, you were no longer scared about that stranger in the mask, because he’s not a stranger anymore. In fact, that mask made something inside you tremble, the way he had the great ability to know everything that turn you on, to know exactly that rubbing your sensitive spot while pushing his fingers inside your hot walls made you whimper, hiding your face on his chest as your hands shake on his muscled arms holding you by the waist.

As by now, you were screaming his name, craving for more and finding that mask facing you whilst his hips jerked further to push his dick even more deep inside your drooling hole, he stimulated you too much already, it felt too good. He was sure more excited this time, after all, making sex with one of his biggest kinks was only telling him to keep going even more. He was breathing heavily too, feeling in bliss to finally be able to do something he’s been dreaming about. He was scared you were not going to accept due to your fear with slasher movies, but something about the way you scream his name tells him he’s doing the right thing. As crazy as it seems, having sex with that Ghostface fantasy made something change into his lover, the fear was slowly popping out of your silly head, making way to a new…kink. All due to your hot boyfriend using that mask, but could you blame yourself for that? Not really.

—”Having fun, baby?” He mumbled in between grunts, pushing faster and faster inside you as if he’s fucking the fear out of you. You felt brainwashed, now you want to see more of Leon masked, just to watch as his dick goes inside and out of you as the mask faces you.

—”Fu-Fuuck! Yes!” Leon chuckled, finding it all very amusing. You were already so hot, but you underneath him were crying in whimpering for more with the mask on? He could never forget that.

It felt intimate, you trusted him with your fear. And somehow, was helping out.

—”Not so scared anymore, huh? Freaky.” Leon made fun of the situation, that sarcastic giggle making you want to hit him in the head, but that was not possible due to your blissful state now.

For someone who was so scared of slasher movies, this was quite hot. It sure is an extraordinary way to spend Halloween, discovering a new kink all because your boyfriend is way hotter than you expected with a mask. As though you loved to see his, not seeing was a hot mystery you’re starting to like even more. "Just this time" was all a lie now.

[lowkeyrobin]

HIIYA!! may I request a Monty x reader who used to be an owl? Like how he used to be a crow? Ty!!

ooo yeah okay!! ; I tried my best w this one cause it was a little hard for some reason?? idk I just couldn't think of shit lmfaooo ; but thanks for requesting!! I love seeing ur user in my inbox lol ; hope you enjoy!

MONTY FINCH ; bird buddies

summary ; you were an owl, he was a crow

warnings ; language

word count ; 262

masterlist

you bond a lot over the whole bird thing

being human is not easy bro

you often reminisce on being small and being able to fly

being a human is definitely easier than being a bird, like scavenging for food or not being able to be understood by humans

but there is something inside you both that's like "I love being human cause I love having complicated emotions and relationships but being a bird was so much more simple"

"if esther ever tries to feed me bugs again, im gonna hurt someone"

"whyd she even try..."

but he loves how much he can bond with you

like no one else understands how hard it is to change species overnight and just have to fit in like that

goodnight.

but you try a lot of new things together

like trying hobbies, trying new food, etc etc

you both came to realize really quick that life has so so so much more to offer as humans

you guys do that 🤯 type look when you see something new / something that looks cool

"what is that?"

"i dunno but I'm getting it"

you get phones together (thanks to niko)

oh my lord

they're so confusing but SO FUN

he gets addicted to cut the rope and toca boca games

meanwhile you're obsessed with spotify and making playlists / finding new songs to listen too to make him listen

"whats hooters?"

"owl food? maybe?"

"you wanna try it? if it has an owl on the logo it must be good"

"okay"

THE duo of all time

[nethhiri]

Chapter 23: The Feeling Is Mutual

Warnings: sensual situations

The Straw Hats, along with Camie, Hachi, and Papagg, stayed up well after dinner was through, drinking and trading stories. Although you were several drinks in, your tolerance was naturally higher than a human's. You were laid out in the grass on deck, laughing at something that Luffy had said. Nami questioned you about your bath, facetiously wondering if anyone had joined you. You feigned ignorance and said you didn't notice. Even Camie got a few laughs out of you. She really wasn't that bad, only a touch dense. As the hours dragged on, everyone gradually retired to bed. The only ones left were you, the nocturnal being, and Zoro, the insomniac. 

"So... you think you're gonna stick around?"

"No, I'm not sticky. We took a bath, remember? Was it that forgettable?" You still hadn't quite gotten the hang of what things were meant literally and what were just expressions.

"That's not what I meant! I mean, do you think you'll stay with the crew?" 

"Oh! Yeah... I think I like it here." You continued. "You know I could leave at any time. I don't need to wait for an island."

"Well... I guess. Just curious," Zoro mumbled. 

"Aw would you miss me if I left?"

"No!" The faint pink on his cheeks betrayed him.

"You would."

"Shut up, woman! You're worse than the cook!"

You had a smug expression. 

Zoro groaned and stood up. "I'm going to go keep watch." He headed towards the crow's nest.

"Do you want company?"

"NO!" 

"You sure?" You unbuttoned one of the buttons on his shirt you were wearing. 

"YES!"

"Did you ask Little Zoro?"

Zoro let out an exasperated growl and ignored you.

You laughed and headed to the room at the bottom of the ship with ocean access after grabbing your clothes. You had decided this would be your room. The ability to slip into the water if you wanted to made you feel more comfortable and less confined. You had added a hammock for now but wanted to add something cozier later. After all, you were interested in keeping this tryst with Zoro going and a hammock just won't do for that. 

The next morning, Sabaody was in full view. Its giant trees were beautiful on their own, even more so with the cascade of bubbles flowing up from the ground. Their iridescence reminded you of your scales. When the ship approached, you were thoroughly entertained by Luffy playing in the bubbles. Part of the reason you were attracted to this crew was his strange magnetism. He was always so positive and free. The freedom you had as a roaming predator had a dark, pessimistic, energy about it, focused on survival. His freedom was different, lighter, more joyful, focused on living. You wanted to learn how to be more like him. 

The ship docked at one of the tree islands and everyone decided what they were going to do. Finding the ship coater sounded sorta boring to you. You were still deciding what you wanted to do when Zoro started off on his own. You had given him his shirt back earlier. Sanji and Usopp heckled him about finding his way back and he seemed to have it figured out. Still, they turned to you and asked if you would tail him, if only to make sure he didn't find himself walking in circles for hours. You were happy to oblige. It was an excellent excuse to flit around in the trees. Flying across open ocean was boring. There were no obstacles. Dodging tree branches was much more fun. 

In a burst of black feathers, you took to the air. Loosely following Zoro, staying far enough away that he didn't pay any attention to you. It wasn't a secret anyway. You zipped through the trees, swinging around branches and perching on a few to get a good look at the surroundings. That was part of your job as the crew scout, after all. A small ruckus caught your attention. You flitted closer to see what was going on. Landing on a nearby branch, you could see a large man with a pillar-like weapon fighting a smaller man with a helmet and blades. The relatively smaller guy was flipping around and was quite agile for his muscular build. The fight was interrupted by some ginger with an ugly hat. Shame. That little blondie caught your attention. He had a very appealing scent, not near as good as Zoro's, but it would make for a decent substitute. He must have sensed your presence because he looked up towards you. You were far away, but made no attempt to hide your bloodlust, so anyone with observation haki would pick it up fairly easily. You wondered if he was handsome under that mask. Either way, he was tasty. You blew him a kiss and promptly flew off towards your favorite snack. 

When you located him, he was standing in front of some gratuitously hideous man with a fishbowl on his head. While you weren't sure what was going on, it appeared as if the swordsman interrupted something. The fishbowl guy pointed a gun at Zoro. A smug grin sat on your face. This would be good. Almost instantly, you could feel the bloodlust roll off Zoro. It was enough to make you swoon. He was just as bloodthirsty as you. You were simply more literal about it. You had never actually seen him fight for real. You watched with great interest as he made a move to cut the man in half, disappointed when a random pink-haired bystander tackled him. What the fuck did that bitch think she was doing? 

Zoro was on the ground with a red puddle around him and the brat lay across him. You knew full well that he wasn't hit. You saw him dodge, and you didn't smell his blood. A weird feeling came over you, an impulse to throw that pink-haired woman off Zoro. A low growl left your throat. You didn't like seeing someone else that close to him, and his blood, even if it wasn't real. That was yours. You'd claimed it as such. 

You hopped from the branches, flapping your wings once to slow your descent, otherwise hitting the ground with some force, glaring at the pink-haired one. She gave you a weird look and walked off. You swiped a finger across Zoro's forehead and licked it. As you thought, it wasn't his blood. He swatted at your hand as you went for another taste, just to make sure. 

"What's going on here?"

"Dunno. We gotta get that guy to a doctor though." There was a man who had been shot.

"I think I saw one around." 

Zoro picked up the man and you led him in the direction of the hospital you had seen from the air. It was a short walk. When Zoro brought the man in, the doctor seemed hesitant. The doctor said something about collars. Come to think of it, you did see collars on some people. You thought it was some kind of fashion. Apparently it was the mark of a slave. This was not a concept you were familiar with. Zoro had to explain it to you as you left. 

"That seems wrong." Your eyebrows furrowed. 

"It is." 

"Why is it allowed then?" 

"Because some people think they're above others."

"I'm superior to all life forms and you don't see me doing slavery." Sirens were the top of the food chain, or at least right up there with Sea Kings. 

"It's not like that." 

You didn't know what he meant though it seemed like it required a more in depth understanding of the human hierarchy to understand. You didn't want to bother him with more questions.  Zoro wanted to head back to the ship. He was going the wrong way. You nudged him in a different direction as he walked, gently trying to herd him in the correct direction. He shoved you away from him.

"Would you get off me?! What are you doing?" 

"You're going the wrong way."

"I am not."

He was. "Okaaaay. Lead the way then, big boy." 

Your stomach growled as you stared at the back of his muscular neck. Were his traps juicier today? Saliva pooled in your mouth. You were so enticed by Zoro that you failed to notice the group of bounty hunters surrounding the two of you. Zoro wasn't phased in the least and asked for directions to Grove 1. That must have been why he was going the wrong way. He thought the ship was at Grove 1, not 41. The men all seemed fairly weak. At one point, they seemed like they may attack, which was fine with you. You were hungry. However, with one look from Zoro they all backed down. Funny, the same look had you wanting to pounce on him. 

While one of them gave him directions, you picked one out that smelled the most appetizing out of the bunch. You beckoned him towards you. Your power wasn't needed. He willingly came to you. He was a little on the tall side and you couldn't reach his neck. 

"Kneel." There was a dazed look in his eyes as he obeyed. You grabbed his hair and tilted his head to the side, opening your mouth to reveal lengthening, sharpening teeth. As you went to sink your teeth into him, you were pulled away. 

"Don't." Zoro said sternly. 

You whined. "I'm hungry."

He sighed. "I'll feed you. Don't waste your time on this junk food." 

You released the man and were followed by the gazes of several frightened others as you followed Zoro away, looking very much like a dog who was promised a bone. 

Zoro stopped after a while at the roots of one of the enormous mangroves. There weren't any people around and between the roots was somewhat secluded. The two of you tucked into the crevice of the roots for some privacy. Zoro didn't want to be seen, especially by any of the crew. He leaned against one of the roots to bring his height down enough for you to reach his neck, meaning you had to sort of straddle his leg to avoid being right on top of him. Zoro grunted as your canines made a small slit above his collar bone. You decided not to use his neck so he could cover the mark you left with his shirt if he wanted, and you were afraid if you used the vessels in his neck, you might take too much again. You were actually surprised he was up to be fed on so soon. His body must recover faster than normal. 

"Hey. I was thinkin..."

You paused your drink to quip, "Easy. You might hurt yourself."

"Shaddup. Never mind then."

"No. No. Tell me," you murmured into his skin as you drank.

"What if... maybe we could do our own thing tonight." He said it as more of a question. 

You looked at him from your position, prompting him to explain himself.

"You know..." Zoro begrudgingly elaborated, "Like me n' you could go to a bar or somethin."

You grinned as much as you could without spilling a drop. 

He took your silence as an invitation to say more. "N' maybe we could split um... a room? M'kinda broke from owing Nami so much."

The slit on Zoro's collarbone was healed with one lick of your tongue. You stayed leaning against him. "Oh I see. You offer a meal and I have to repay you? With my body?"

"That's not it at all!" Zoro looked away. "Ugh sorry I asked."

"You misunderstand. I insist. I'll repay you." You leaned up to purr in his ear. "With my body." 

Zoro's head snapped back to look at you. He blinked and his entire face and neck flushed. "If- if that's what you want."

You pressed a kiss to his throat. "Listen... I find you incredibly attractive, not just because of your blood, and I like this thing we have going on. I'd like very much for it to continue." You drew a nail over his chest and trailed it upwards to his chin. "When I first saw you, all I wanted to do was devour you, but I couldn't. Something about you has captured my attention. And I don't really care to find out what that is, but I would like to enjoy it... if that's alright with you."

He nodded slowly, bending down to capture your lips with his. 

Next

Tag list: @bbnbhm @zoast32 @chershire23

[geekthefreakout]

So, I've been having this thought.

Crowley, perhaps post-bookshop divorce, is sitting in a pub or a coffee shop and the server calls his name, but they say it wrong.

They pronounce it like with the "ow" sound, like in Supernatural. And Crowley, mildly miffed, is like "where did you get that from?"

And the server is a Supernatural fan and explains that there's a demon named Crowley-like-owl-not-crow who helps stop the apocalypse.

And Crowley is like "imagine that. That's weird. Say more."

And the server explains a bit. How SPN!Crowley is this demon who is aware that should the big fight happen, he won't be counted among the winners regardless of which way it goes, and he just wants the world to keep on as it is, so he joins forces with the Winchesters and their renegade angel to stop it. He becomes King of Hell after to fill the power vacuum (and here GO!Crowley gives a bitter scoff) and he is both a villain and a hero and sometimes neither of those things.

Crowley inquires more about the angel, Castiel, and the server enthusiastically describes him. They remark that Crowley(spn) and Castiel have a fun dynamic, because they hate each other but also have to work together, because they're in love.

Crowley looks dumbfounded, and of course the server can't know why, but they do clarify that they are in love with Dean, not each other. Dean being a stand-in for humanity, of course, which is how the show runners wanted you to see it.

"But then at the end they FINALLY let Cas be all the way gay for Dean. Like, a decade of subtext and queer baiting denial, and FINALLY with 2 episodes left in the whole show, they let Cas tell Dean that he cares about humanity because he cares about Dean. Like, he actually gets to tell him he's in love with him."

A pause.

"Well, and then he gets sucked directly to Turbo Hell, so. That sucked. It went canon in THE most homophobic way possible, which is kind of on brand for the show--"

"Turbo hell?????? What is that, the tenth circle?"

"Oh, the place that angels and demons go when they die. The Empty. They don't get an afterlife, they just sleep forever and dream about the bad stuff. It's pretty awful, but Cas gets rescued from their off screen by the end so at least that's something-"

"What about the demon?"

"Oh, Crowley-like-owl? He got killed off for good at the end of season 12."

Crowley-like-crow stares through his sunglasses and the server elaborates again. For some reason, they haven't been called to other tables for anything the entire time they've been speaking.

"It was a good death, I think. He died to save the boys and trap Lucifer in another dimension- it's complicated. But he got to say that he actually hated being King of Hell, and he hated Lucifer, and he got to go out on a good deed. I think the actor was tired of the writers playing around with the character's arc. Walking back development, never committing to what they wanted to do with him... And that led to Crowley being kinda inconsistent and underappreciated. So he asked to be killed off and he walked away from the show."

"Huh. Shame, that."

"Yeah, everyone missed him. There are some characters that I REALLY wish he'd gotten to meet. And I also wish that he got a little more love."

"He was a demon. Love's not exactly in their repertoire."

"It's not supposed to be. It was, though. Cas practically invented free will because he loved Dean. And I guess Crowley also didn't fit into the mold God had set for him, either."

"I suppose God's Plan is... Ineffable in the show."

"I mean. Kinda at first? But the last season God is fully the bad guy."

"WHAT??"

Anyway, Crowley watches Supernatural and has no idea if he hates it or not. He probably does. But somehow, Crowley-like-owl and Castiel and their often unappreciative charges make his heart ache. He deliberately notes all the ways that Castiel is nothing like Aziraphale, thank you very much. He supposes he's glad that Adam never turned either of them into action figures.

He watches and he tries not to wish Aziraphale was watching with him.

[weirdstuffinthewoods]

Bride of Chucky

A Review

Ronny Yu made the correct choice working with the one and only father of Chucky, Don Mancini. I feel like Don's seamless continuing control over the Chucky franchise paired with Ronny Yu's absolute lack of knowledge of the Chucky franchise (and his love of the monster) made for a one-of-a-kind franchise installment.

Writing- 5/5

This entire script takes the snark we know Chucky for and dials it up by giving him a dominating sparring partner in Tiffany Valentine. There are some jokes that kinda feel needless (repeating the "what a crock" joke only got an "eeh" out of me), but Voodoo for Dummies?

And lines like:

"For God's sake Chucky, drag yourself into the 90s"

"Martha Stewart can kiss my shiny plastic butt!"

When Chucky tells Tiffany to "act natural" and this is her response

The entire weird sex scene conversation that 100% does happen in a film about two sentient dolls? It was only a matter of time before we got here, let's be honest.

The addition of Tiffany Valentine allows for a totally valid reason to shake things up- creative kills, high-speed freeway chases with two DOLLS holding two whole adult humans hostage, and the film's only gay character (spoiler but RIP David) getting absolutely blasted by an 18-wheeler for no reason other than Don probably just realized the cast needed to shrink real quick.

Special mention-

The honeymoon suite kill scene. Yeah, it looks a little cheesy, but you best believe before I was old enough to watch horror movies, my older cousin was telling me about this scene in vivid, terrifying detail (much scarier than reality, but what can you do?)

Soundtrack- 4.5/5

Living Dead Girl starts this movie off with a bang and a moment I haven't forgotten for one second of my spooky sapphic life. These are the moments in which horror icons are made.

The soundtrack is mostly upbeat drums and chugging guitar riffs which I loved (it especially added to the freeway chase) I just didn't go full 5 stars because I didn't notice it as much as I'd want to in a party movie like this (because yes, if I ever do host a halloween party I will be popping in this exact VHS to play on repeat).

Also shout out to my boy, Graeme Revell. Been a legend since The Crow in my eyes (but also for so much iconic 80s and 90s horror....and Sharkboy and Lavagirl) and I'll always get excited when I see that name in the credits!

Effects- 4.75/5

First let me say Chucky looks fantastic. Can he emote as well as Tiffany with those pencil-thin eyebrows? Maybe not but this is the opus version of Chucky, so.

The animatronics are still my favorite thing to watch in a Chucky film because you forget that these aren't sentient dolls almost constantly (except when Chucky's body double is crawling on all fours- that's some nightmare fuel). Their faces are so expressive (for rubber doll faces) and there's even a shot of Tiffany walking across the floor of a Winnebago (maybe?) without a wire in sight! Oh, how far we've come.

The effects in some scenes are a little cheesy (the honeymoon suite kill, the gross, fleshy title card, etc) but it's easily overlooked because Chucky and Tiffany are by far the main event of the sfx team.

Extra ratings?

Queerness-3/5

Written by an out gay man, HELLO!

Alexis Arquette!! Easily the second-hottest person in this movie, I loved seeing her camp it up (in a masc role, but goths love to play with androgyny so I'll take it) as the try-hard Damien.

This also unexpectedly features the gbff trope usually reserved for rom-coms in David, a guy whose queerness isn't painfully exaggerated like some portrayals were at the time, and who's probably the most level-headed of the bunch.

RIP, -2 because David got blasted by a big rig and not in the fun way.

Bride of Frankenstein retelling 5/5

It's pretty obvious on rewatch, but this is a whole Bride of Frankenstein retelling. It even follows the title convention (I tell my younger self who completely missed the comparison). I haven't read the dissections of the original that explain why the bride is a metaphor, but in a more literal sense, this Bride has the power unlike her predecessor. Even though she falls in with a toxic ex, she has autonomy and pushes back, eventually sort of kind of helping the two teens (who are not interesting enough to put in this review) stop Chucky. And she gives birth to a weird demon baby while mostly charred through a non-stretch plastic vagina so. That's pretty metal.

Tiffany Valentine 11/5

TIFFANY VALENTINE THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE

THE COSTUMING

THE TRAILER SET DRESSING

But most of all the performance!!!

I may be looking through heart eyes, but I'm not wrong!

Overall, Bride of Chucky will never not be one of my favorites. The addition of Jennifer Tilly allowed the Child's Play series (and all future iterations), to have fun, but to also play with the tone of its installments. Seed of Chucky and the Chucky series tend to focus on Chucky (and friends)'s humanity and personalities, whereas Curse and Cult of Chucky take the franchise back to an exciting, sometimes scary, and eventually openly queer and complicatedly sapphic place. Ignoring the reboot (which he was thankfully not responsible for), Don Mancini's got quite a legacy going, and Ronny Yu had a key part in that.

[crabs-with-sticks]

Sleeping in the same bed for the first time. for baby crows au?

Thanks for the prompt! Had lots of fun with this, they're just lil baby crowlings! Just lil guys! Although I have realised I have no idea how to write children haha. If they're acting older than their years its cause of uhhhhh trauma.

@dadrunkwriting

The boys were squirming once again, and now Talisen had started snoring right in her ear. Rinna elbowed the human boy in the ribs, he grumbled in his sleep, rolled over and started snoring again. Oh well. At least he was snoring in Zev’s ear now. Thoroughly awakened Rinna sat up in the bed, blinking at the moonlight streaming in through the window. The dormitory wasn’t much to speak of- it was filled with children of all ages, with enough beds for perhaps a quarter of their number. It was on purpose, she suspected, to see how the recruits would react. If they would force others out, if they would tough it out curled up on the floor, or if like the three of them had, if they would make alliances. Zev and Talisen were a few years into their training by now both about 9, Rinna at 10, was at the end of her first year. The two boys had been the only ones to survive their first year. Rinna wasn’t going to go the same way as the rest of their class. Removing Zevran’s leg from where it rested atop her legs she swung her feet down to sit on the side of the bed. Rubbing her eyes she looked around the room. Her eyes fell on the small shivering body of a young girl.

She was a pale gangly thing- probably about 7 years old, all elbows and knees. Her hair was black, though it was more of an ashy black than the midnight tones poets would wax on for hours. She looked more like a half drowned cat than a elven girl. And yet. For all her scraggly appearance, she was good. Very good. She had only joined the class a few days ago, but the girl was fast, smart, and very stubborn. Rinna only realised the girl was awake when a pair of spiteful grey eyes met her own. Despite her shivering, the child wasn’t crying- hadn’t cried or wailed or wept as far as Rinna had seen. So instead of rolling back into bed, pressing against the boy’s skin for warmth in the chilly Antivan night, she padded over to the child. She crouched down in front of the girl, the tattered fabric of her nightgown brushing against her toes. “I’m Rinna. Well, Rinnala, but nobody calls me that.” The girl glared at her, like a feral cat weighing the benefits of swiping at a tom getting too close. “And?” Rinna almost laughed. The girl has quite the mouth on her for a seven year old. It was almost impressive. But then again, who knew what the girl had been through. She didn’t look remotely Antivan after all. “What’s your name then?” Spelling out the question. “Mara. Mara Tabris.” “And how did you get here then Mara?” The girl opened her mouth to answer and then snapped it shut again. After a moment of pondering she squinted over Rinna, “why do you care?” Rinna swivelled around so that she was sitting next to the girl- to Mara. For all her bluster, the girl’s skin was cold enough to match her pale skin. “Is niceties not a good enough reason?” “No?” She said it like a question- though more as if she was confused how Rinna wasn’t keeping up with her. It stirred something in Rinna’s chest, though she wasn’t sure what. For some reason she wanted to wrap her arms around the shivering girl and pull her close. She shrugged, “fair enough I suppose.” They drifted into silence, but Rinna did not return to their bed and the pile of warm bodies on it. Mara broke the silence, voice toneless and sullen as every word other word she had yet spoken. “You can go you know?” “Oh I don’t know, maybe I’m enjoying your lovely company.” “I’m not lovely.” “Yeah I had gathered that…” she sighed, and decided to go all in. She would sort it out with the boys in the morning. “Look why don’t you come with me? You can share with Zev, Talisen and I?” Still the girl looked hesitant. Damn, she had good instincts for a 7 year old, even if her caution was unfounded this time around. Rinna continued, “you haven’t been here long, but I can already tell that you’re good. You’re smart, you’re quick, and you’re very good at letting people underestimate you. I won’t bind you to it, but we could use you on our side. How does that sound?” The girl shrugged, “fine,” though Rinna was sure she was more nervous about it than she let on. But Rinna stood and pulled Mara up with her, half leading, half dragging her over to the bed. She climbed in, settling amongst the boys’ tangle of limbs and patted the space next to her. Mara climbed in and Rinna wrapped her arms around the shivering elven child, staying there until they both fell asleep. When she woke, Mara wasn’t shivering anymore.

[aikofanfan]

Obey me, Themis! [Part 3]

Summary: Things get more intense as more information rises to the surface.

Warnings: Tot Luke gets his shit rock by a demon I’m so sorry my boy.

A/n: Hey part 3 finally! Aside from Shay the rest are random OCs I made up for this story hope ya like em!

Tags: @noetophat how bout I just tag you myself :3

“Who’s Meph….um….istop….heles?” Rosa asks slowly as Diavolo was talking on his DDD.

“A pain in the neck.” You huff. “He’s a school reporter at RAD. I doubt he’ll tell us much willingly. Leave questioning him to me.”

“MC.” Lucifer says in a warning tone.

“I’ll behave!” You retort. Even Rosa and Artem gave you a doubtful look. You’ve barely been around Artem and he was doubting you already! Rude!

“MC are you sure?” Rosa asks.

“Absolutely.” You give her a thumbs up. Dia walks back over at that very moment.

“He should be here soon.” The prince informs. “MC, I heard you’ll be questioning him.”

“Yep- ARE YOU DOUBTING ME TOO?” You gawk at the Prince who only gives a sheepish smile. You cross your arms and pout as Dia doubles down but tries to reason his doubts. Just then Barbatos walks over with the demon of the hour.

“Lord Diavolo what is it you need from me? Oh Lucifer is here yet you called me? I’m honored!” Mephistopheles bows once he’s close to the Prince. Clearly ignoring you and the two attorneys.

“Mephis I actually asked him to call you here.” You spoke up, the purple head turned to you.

“Oh? And do you want?” He asks. You pulled up a picture of the plant Rosa sent you prior and show him.

“What do you know about this? Dia says you heard about some students passing it around at RAD.” You explain. He crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at you.

“So what if I did?” He retorts. “It’s a plant found here, what’s a human like you need it for?” He scoffs.

“That plant somehow ended up in the human world and it’s already harmed or killed many people.” Rosa spoke up, getting irritated with this guy.

“Ah no wonder you two look so out of place. More humans.” Mephistopheles walked up to Artem and Rosa. “Well that’s too bad.”

“Mephistopheles this is serious.” You grab his forearm and yank him back over. “Whatever you might know will be a huge help.”

“Whatever is happening in the human world isn’t my problem.” He snaps, smacking your hand away. Just when you’re about to pop a vein, Diavolo spoke up.

“It is your problem. It’s all of our problem. That plant came from the Devildom, and whatever damage it causes is on our hands.” The Prince says. “So please. Whatever you might know, tell them.”

Demon and human alike knew that was more of an order rather than a request. Mephistopheles grumbles before turning back to you.

“I don’t know much. But I do know some students were passing it around the school and I happen to over hear one of them say something about ‘getting it to the human world’ or something to that effect. I didn’t think much of it but.” He trails off and glances at the two lawyers.

“Who were these students?” Rosa asks.

The demon took a moment to think before giving some names. “Zek and Crow.”

“Ah those guys.” You groan.

“You know them?” Artem asks.

“Yeah. They use to bug me and my mentor about making pacts with them just so they could have easy access to the human world.” You explain. “But wait, we never made pacts with any of them.”

You turn to Rosa and Artem. “I’d contact the rest of your group if I were you. We need to head back.”

~~~~~

Luke sneaks around an old shack, shoved in a small corner of the city. It’s one of the few places they could find that had held some sort of stash of these weird plants. But it seems it’s been cleared out already.

“There has to be something in here.” He whispers to himself. He moves boxes and old gardening tools around, before finding a small filing cabinet hidden away. Just as he was about to try and open it, something from behind grabs the back of his jacket and throws him away. He hits the wall with a loud SMACK.

“So you’re the one that’s been sneakin around.” A man about his height and looked about his age says, hands in pockets with a smaller framed woman behind him. “Nosy little bugs aren’t ya?”

Luke was about to get up but the man was faster and slams his foot on his back, making him grunt in pain. What was this guy?

“Hey you said you wouldn’t hurt him too bad!” The woman spoke up.

“I won’t I won’t. Just enough to get my point across.” The guy says, smushing the heel of his foot into Luke’s back some more. “Grab that filing cabinet though would ya?”

The woman nods and hurried off into the corner where Luke had found it. Luke tried to get up but was promptly pushed back down by the guy’s foot.

“Be a good human and tell me somethin. How did you find this place?” He asks.

“I have my ways.” Luke said and that result in the guy raising his foot and slamming it hard into his back, knocking the wind out of his lungs.

“I got the flies. Let’s go and leave him alone.” The woman came rushing back and tried to pull the guy off but he shooed her away.

“Not until he talks first. I wanna know how this guy learned about my gig here.” The man says and was about to kick Luke in the ribs until there was noise outside.

One bang on the door.

Two bangs on the door.

Three-CRASH!

“LUKE YOU IN HERE?”

“MC OVER HERE!”

Footsteps came rushing over.

“YOU!”

Green eyes met indigo eyes and you grit your teeth.

“Ah now I see.” Zek, one of the demons that use to bug you and Solomon, gave you a lazy smile. You looked down and found Luke on the ground, Zek’s foot digging into his back.

“Get off of him. NOW.” You order. Zek, ever the shit, just steps off before kicking Luke to the side like an empty soda can. You rush over to his side and that gave Zek and the lady with him enough time to vanish into thin air.

“Friend of yours?” Luke tried to joke through his obvious pain.

“Hardly. How was your first encounter with a demon?” You asked and that cut through the pain judging by the face he makes. You used a bit of healing magic to help Luke to his feet but a hospital visit was still needed. You pick Luke up piggyback style and take him to the car where Artem and Rosa was waiting.

“LUKE!” Rosa gasps as she rushes over, Artem not too far behind.

“I’m fine.” He smiled but was clearly still in pain. Fighting a demon never ended well even if they held back a bit.

“Our suspicions were right. Zek and probably Crow made a pact with humans in the city and brought that plant here.” You explain. With Artem’s help, you both get Luke into the back of the car while Rosa used your DDD to text Diavolo and Lucifer.

“He said something about a gig. This is probably more than just that.” Luke huffs and you lightly poke his forehead.

“We can talk it over once you get checked out.” You state. “I’ll stay behind and give this little box of a shack another look over.”

“But these guys know we’re onto them now.” Rosa says, handing you back your DDD. “Plus what about Marius and Vyn?”

“Relax, Rosy. I’ll be fine and meet up with you guys later. As for the other two, I called a friend or two.”

A friend or two was Shay and Solomon. It was only natural Solomon gets involved and Shay well, she had become a close demon friend outside of the boys and you trusted her with this. Just as you thought that your DDD rings.

“Hello?”

“Hey sugar!”

Speak of the devil, literally. It was Shay. You watch Artem and Rosa drive off to get Luke checked out while you walk around the old shack.

“Hey Shay. How are things on your end?” You asks, having your DDD on speaker and float with magic as you move stuff around.

“Boring so far. By the sounds of it not much else has been found and it looks like no one has a clue that there’s more of us onto their little scheme.” She explains. “How about you?”

“Luke found a shack but got attacked by Zek.” You report.

“That damn Zek! Your friend okay?” Shay asks.

“Yeah we got to him in time. Artem and Rosa are taking him to the hospital now.” You tell her. “Any word from Solomon and Vyn?”

“No. I think those two get along a little too well if you ask me. It’s creepy.” She shivers as she spoke. The two of you talk as you keep looking around the shack, after about 30 minutes you sigh.

“I figured there was nothing left but I’m no less disappointed.” You huff.

“No luck huh?” Shay asks as you take a hold of your DDD and turn off the speaker.

“Nope. I’m gonna go meet up with Rosa. And thanks again for helping out, Shay.” You say.

“No worries, hun! Stay safe now!”

~~~~~~

“Now that they’re onto to us, they’ve no doubt cleared out their other hiding spots.” Rosa mumbled to herself as she looks over what Luke, Marius and Vyn dug up while she and Artem was gone.

“I must’ve gotten there right when he did.” Luke comments from his hospital bed. He wasn’t badly hurt after he was healed with magic but the Doctor wanted him to rest there for the night just to be safe.

“Do we know anything about the woman that was with this Zek?” Artem asks. Luke shakes his head.

“Well once MC comes back, I think we can get an idea on where to look.” Rosa says. You had just walked into the room when she spoke.

“What about lil ol me??” You bat your eyes as you walk over to the three. They catch you up to speed and all you can do is scowl.

“I can unfortunately give you an idea on where to start looking. RAD has a whole class on how demons can lure humans into a pact with them. Since Zek and Crow are RAD students it probably wasn’t hard to find targets for whatever the hell they’re planning.” You explain, arms crossed as you began to think. Although after this they might end up as ex students.

“Or we can just tell you now.”

You turn around and look at the door, finding Solomon and Vyn walking in.

“Shay called me and filled us in, told me you’d all be here.” Solomon says. Vyn types at his phone before all of your phones chime.

“Luke, does this woman look like the one you saw?” Vyn asks. Luke looks over the picture he was sent for awhile before he nods. “She’s a patient of mine.”

“And the plot thickens.” You hum and lean against the wall.

“Her name is Maya Row, she came to see me just to talk and find the root of her problems. She suddenly stopped a few months ago.” Vyn explained. “I tried to call her a few times but she never answered.”

“Sounds like we found out why she stopped seeing you.” You comment. “A patient for a Psychiatrist definitely sounds like it fits the bill for a pact by a demon’s standards.

“Given she wasn’t in the best place of a mind the last time I spoke with her I’d have to agree.” Vyn sighs.

“Poor Maya…” Rosa frowned as she reads over the flies Vyn sent everyone.

“We find her we can find Zek.” You spoke up. Solomon holds his hand up to you, his way of saying to back down.

“While that’s true there’s still Crow and whoever he may have lured into a pact.” He points out. Ah right.

~~~~~

“So Zek and his human Maya huh?” Marius hummed as he reads over what Shay sent him. He was stuck in meetings most the day so Shay filled him in.

“We still don’t know where Crow is or who he may have made a pact with.” Shay says. “So get used to having me around.

“Oh how will I ever cope?” Marius teased and Shay sticks her tongue out at him. Just then she jolts before grabbing Marius and jumping to the left, a stop sign landing where they were, crushing into the sidewalk.

“Ah did you really have to go and dodge that, Shay?” A voice spoke up. Shay looks and finds a man yanking the stop sign out of the ground and looks over at her and Marius. Yellow and black mixed eyes stare into her own icy blue ones.

“Crow.” She hisses and helps Marius up. Crow spins the stop sign around a few times, eyes never moving off the pair.

“You know Shay it’s not too late for you leave and let me have a little chat with the human here.” Crow suggests only for his fellow demon to flip him off.

“You know as well as I do what you’re doing goes against what Lord Diavolo wants for the Realms, Crow.” Shay retorts, glancing at Marius who was hiding his phone in his hand. Gotta by him some time to inform the others.

“Blah blah blah. Get off your soap box, Shay. I don’t care.” Crow groans, stepping closer which made Shay move Marius closer behind her. “Why are you even protecting him? You made a pact or somethin?”

“No. Is it so wrong of me to want to keep him away from you and your stop sign?” Shay sassed at him. Marius hits send on his phone and hides it away in his pocket.

“If he starts a fight, I want you to run, understand? A human like you isn’t gonna put up a fight very long.” Shay whispers, still shielding Marius from Crow who hasn’t stopped eyeing him.

“Got it. You don’t have to worry about me.” Marius nods.

You were talking when all the phones of the NXX group chimed at the same time. Rosa was the first one to get her phone out and check.

“Uh oh!” She gasps and goes pale. All she does is show her screen to everyone.

[timelessxmemories]

@miss-midnightt , @the-main-characters , @gmanwhore , @ghostlyplacetobe

MAJOR LORE DROP FOR LOCK IN CANON.

[ aka me, Crow, letting my oc, Lock, be happy for once in canon and actually have an okay relationship with her dad! Yippee! ]

Lock has a 4 year old daughter named Amaris. She's been a single mother for as long as she can remember, but once she began dating Sera, she was grateful that she was no longer alone in raising her 4 year old girl. Also. Your selfships with her is canon. To me. In her lore. So when she first met you as well, she was so overwhelmed with love and care that she probably ended up crying because holy shit there's people out there who actually love her. Wow. It was actually when she met you that she realized that she's pan and poly. Her daughter Amaris of course took this really well, and was so so so happy that she had more people to bethwte for her and her mom and just absolutely loved and still loves to draw you guys things, including Sera because she really really really loves everyone who her mom loves!

When Amaris was born, both her mom and her dad were there, but her father soon left the both of them and left Lock to raise Amaris all by herself. Keep in mind, this was during Lock's time in SOLDIER as a first class so she already had a lot of stress on her from that, so while she was out doing her missions with Sera (assuming they were partners in canon), Amaris would either be left in the Turks care or Hojo's care while she was gone. Surprisingly enough, when she was left in Locks father's care, (Hojo's), Hojo was actually really nice to her and tried his best to be a good granddad to try (not really) and make up for lost time. This resulted in Hojo gaining a bit of Lock's trust back. Because everyone deserves a bit of character development every now and again. Also, another thing to note is that Amaris does not have wings like her mother does, however, she still has the Celestial blood in her veins, meaning when she's old enough to use Materia, her Materia will be enhanced and made stronger due to her genetics. It's unknown how exactly the Celestial blood works with Materia, but Hojo suspects that it's because Lock's blood is also transfused with Jenova Cells, and because Lock had an offspring, those genetics were transferred down to Amaris. Yet another thing to note, the birth of Amaris wasn't forced on her by Hojo, Hojo didn't even have any plans to have Lock create an offspring because, yknow, just because he's a mad scientist, doesn't mean he doesn't have any morality or humanity left in him for his daughter. He still loves her, but, in his own way I suppose. He also really loves his granddaughter Amaris to bits, when Amaris came along, that's kind of when he realized that oh. Life is precious. Even my daughters. And then he toned down the experiments and now he's actually trying to be an okay dad! Yeah. I know, before, originally, he was supposed to be a shitty person to her, but like, I'm giving him a fraction of a heart, some morality and reasoning behind what he did to Lock, after killing Starlight he went into a spiral which meant he did things he shouldn't have, and then Amaris came along and saved her mom's life, and without even realizing it, fixed (kind of) Lock's relationship with her father. Good job, Amaris!!! We love you!! Anyways, if Hojo is the one watching her at the time, he will show her all around the lab, all of his experiments (probably shouldn't be showing those things to a child, but it's Hojo, when is he ever thinking of these things??), his machinery and whatever else all while carrying Amaris around on his hip, straining his back but that's okay, because sacrifices must be made. (as one does with a toddler), he'll even actually take a break from his work just to read a picture book with Amaris (much to his disappointment because he wanted to read a book on Quantum Physics, but *sigh* he supposes it wouldnt hurt to read a picture book), or even colour or draw with her which is really rare because this man literally never stops working. Also, every now and again he'll let Amaris wear his lab coat. Why? Uhh, because she's an adorable child, and who can say no to such a cute face??? Also, Lock likes to take Amaris for shoulder rides and fly around with her wings, Amaris loves it. Lock tries her absolute hardest to try and take care of Amaris, and with everyone helping her, it makes it much easier, Amaris is never deprived of love, she has so much love. everywhere.

Also, a little bonus: Lock and Amaris have a Holland Lop Rabbit named Snickerdoodle and an Australian Shephard Puppy named Charlie!

Snickerdoodle [Female]: (Obviously not my picture)

Charlie [Male]: (Once again, not my photo)

- Charlie and Snickerdoodle are really good friends, Snickerdoodle tends to think that Charlie is her baby and tries to take care of him like her own. It's cute. I promise. But Charlie tends to think that Snickerdoodle is either a really soft pillow or a play thing. Don't worry. Charlie doesn't hurt her.

- Snickerdoodle is a rescue from the SPCA in Midgar, she was found near a dumpster which at the time was on fire, she was rescued and brought into care, she wasn't injured, but she was already a domesticated rabbit so they couldn't set her free into the wild. She was most likely previously abandoned by her previous owners. While Lock was off duty, she decided to stop by the local SPCA and take a look, that's when she met Snickerdoodle and immediately fell in love. Snickerdoodle now has a very loving family and home. Charlie of course, when he first met Snickerdoodle, he immediately decided to play with her, which in turn, Snickerdoodle let him do so because she was tired, and then Charlie tuckered himself out and fell asleep with his paws covering Snickerdoodle's back.

- When Amaris first saw Snickerdoodle after Lock came back with the rabbit, she instantly ran over and started petting Snickerdoodle, bombarding her mom with loads of questions which in turn Lock responded as best as she could. And if Amaris asked too many questions, she'd just either give her a cookie to shut her up or send her to either Sera, Sephiroth or Zack.

[wolves-etc]

thoughts on The Last Of Us episode six, largely in the order I had them:

[thoughts on: 1.1 | 1.2 | 1.3 | 1.4 | 1.5 | X | 1.7 | 1.8 | 1.9]

— "you made him soup?"

— I love this couple and I love this situation

— (yeah the wife mentioning ellie, and joel just looking faintly affronted about it, is a nice nod towards her not being scared and him not being very scary - so yeah, I love this situation)

— ellie: "must have missed all the street signs in the enormous fuckin' forest." old hermit guy who does not deserve this sass: "ho-ly!"

— "sheep. I would raise sheep. they're quiet. do what they're told."

— "get some sleep. dream of… sheep ranches on the moon."

— "you don't know how to whistle?" "does it SOUND like I know how to whistle?" honestly it sounded like if crows got cordyceps so keep at it, girl

— it was touch and go for a minute there but we have ANOTHER VERY GOOD DOG (who I choose to assume does not actually rip people up, because dogs get hurt that way and it's not kind to them, but it does make a good threat to keep strangers in line)

— "joel, say congrats." "…congrats." okay ellie's joel-handling is very funny

— absolutely lost it at the pop of the menstrual cup. good call, whoever left that & the instructions for her instead of attempting a Conversation.

— (I'm trying so hard not to be suspicious of these nice communists but this is normally the point in this kind of show where we slowly figure out there's a figurative child of omelas, y'know?)

— joel's conversation with tommy about being weak is wrenching my fucking heartstrings. especially the panic stuff. especially the freeze stuff. it's a crap situation for someone who prides himself on being capable! it's especially crap now he has something precious to protect again!

— oh joel.

— (I do wish he hadn't told tommy about ellie though. it's unfair to expect him to shoulder it by himself but that feels like it's gonna coem back to haunt them.)

— that was half of a good (or at least necessary) conversation joel had with ellie but unfortunately the other half was him being a damaged fool. and y'know, I get it. it's awful, but I get it.

he fails sarah again every night, he lives in this trauma, he is never not failing her, he defines himself by it because he can't escape it - and losing tess, almost dying himself, almost losing ellie, it could make absolute and total sense to him that ellie would, in fact, be safer with someone else. someone who hadn't already failed at keeping their daughter safe. I don't see this being solved easily.

— ...and I am very happy to be wrong as joel comes through in a pinch <3 <3

— "a deep breath in, slow breath out. you squeeze the trigger like you love it. gentle, steady, nice and slow." "you gonna shoot this thing or get it pregnant?"

— THEY'RE SASSING EACH OTHER AGAIN it must be christmas

— "yeah, we were cool. everybody loved contractors." has he finally learned he can bend the truth with certain things. GOOD FOR HIM.

— "well, you're singin' for me later. I'm gonna save the fuckin' world, man. it's the least you can do for me." <3

— (yes I would very much like to see him sing for her actually)

— are we not meant to be concerned about the infection spreading to other animals. the whole reason it's a problem is that it mutated hugely to infect humans. and we have loose monkeys, right here, and I'm not sure if that glimpse is meant to come back to haunt us or not.

— if crows DO get cordyceps they are very, very screwed.

[janeelyakiri]

Found a quote generator but no drawing energy atm. Soooo enjoi lol

Hound: If I fall down these stairs, I'm just going to lay down and accept my fate.

------------

Falcon: My heart is guarded but like… very poorly. The kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an R rated movie.

------------

Vulture: If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "thank you" is all I need. Vulture: Not all this "how did you get into my house" business.

------------

Hound & Fox: *Playing video games* Jay: You guys woke up at 5:30 in the morning just to play games? Hound: silence Fox: silence Jay, finally figuring it out: …You two never went to sleep, did you? Hound & Fox in shame: Yeah…

------------

Macaw: Are you sure this is safe? Falcon: Safer than Flintstone vitamin gummies in a bottle. Falcon: Keep twisting, junior! All you’re gonna get is clicks.

------------

Lupo: What did you two do? Falcon: Jackal: Lupo: You’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.

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Crow: Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices. Crow: Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.

-------------

Crow: Ow! Jackal: What’s wrong? Crow: I have this weird pain right above my eyebrow. Jackal: It’s called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was four.

-------------

Fox: I’m proud to say I’ve come over my fear of ghosts! Falcon: Eyy, that’s the spirit! Fox: gasps whErE???!!!??

------------

Jay: What are you doing here? Vulture: I could ask you the same question. Jay: I live here. This is my house. Vulture: I should probably ask you a different question.

-------------

Hyena: Lupo is restricted to decaf for the rest of this adventure.

-------------

Hyena, writing in their diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

--------------

Fox: I have issues. Jay: Finally, you admit it! The first step to redemption is accept- Fox: With you.

--------------

Macaw: Some of us are still ‘it’ from a childhood game of tag. Falcon: Way to just fuck me up on a Tuesday.

--------------

Fox: How high are you? Hound: Mm, I don’t know how to say it in feet. Crow: No, they’re asking what drugs are you on. Hound: Oh, antidepressants, why?

-------------

Hound: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you’re a coward. Crow: I’m worried about you.

------------

Hyena: You’re giving me a sticker? Jay: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!” Hyena: I’m not a preschooler. Jay: Fine, I��ll take it back- Hyena: I earned this, back off!

----- and finally!-----

Falcon: Ugh, there’s always that weak bitch in the group who isn’t down with murder. Falcon: glares at Macaw Macaw: Well, sorry I have morals!

[adultswim2021]

Fat Guy Stuck in Internet #9: “Boogie Baby, Boogie!” | August 11, 2008 - 12:15AM | S01E09

I actually freakishly remembered that one of my friends (also a reader of this blog) liked this episode and thought it was significantly better than the rest. I remember this because he said it featured the “Whitest Kids I’Like”. Very funny joke, makes me smile, and I am beautiful when I smile. 

Speaking of big smiles, this one has a special guest star who is basically the human embodiment of a scowl, Matt Besser. Matt Besser is the reason I don’t believe in god, because what kind of god would count Matt Besser among his glorious creatures. Mean teasing aside, he’s fairly fun in this, and gives as much of his "all" as he ought to on this show. He plays a David Bowie/Goblin King type guy.

Oh yeah, this is a Labyrinth episode. Gemberling and Chains encounter a Labyrinth and have to go through it. If they don’t make it through, Matt Besser is going to turn them into one of his “dancing sweety boys” (good). Gemberling is annoyed and impatient, and doesn’t want to hear the songs. Chains is thoroughly entertained and is stoked to be doing maze games. 

This is honestly a very fun episode. It doesn’t sustain it’s excellence for the entire episode, but it has enough bright spots that I think I have to agree that this one is “the good one”. I literally laughed a few times at this. The scene with the racist Dumb crows actually got me good, but it’s one of those very simple jokes that will probably not translate. I will tell it anyway: Chains stumbles on the crows (the maze is full of muppet-style guys), and he laughs and says they’re great. Gemberling chides him for enjoying what is clearly a mean-spirited racial stereotype. Chains, disappointed, scolds the crows: “you guys tricked me!” and then walks away, pouting. I think it might’ve been that I was expecting something clumsier, and more 2008, but that is solid.

I also liked the lying door/truth door scene. One of them is Timmy Williams and the other is Sam Brown, the aforementioned Whitest Kids my friend KON liked (I don’t know why I was being coy earlier about who it was). It doesn’t end terribly strong, and the music isn’t actually that good in it, but it’s good enough for this show. But this one made me laugh two-and-a-half times, and that’s actually pretty good for almost any 11-minute Adult Swim show. This was almost Assy McGee good!

[bluewhispersandabsinth]

still not a multi-fandom blog but I finished watching Good Omens 2 and I have thoughts and I want to ramble about them.

But since it's not the main theme of this blog, I don't plan to write GO fanfic again any time soon, and it's rambling about the ending, thus, spoilers, I put it under the cut.

I like that the ending of season 2 was in many ways an enhanced interaction of what happened in episode 3, season 1, including the "Come with me!" and "I forgive you." In a way, it was almost more dramatic given that Crowley didn't just want to go to one of their headquarters and stay involved with Earth and the humans together with his partner, but to elope to a different galaxy.

The speech wasn't that much different, just a bit more self-aware (important, sweet, but they still had similar conversations about "let's be on our side!" before many times, even in the BC times, and if compared, while a similar gist, it has slowly become more and more self-aware over time already, but never was full there before), it really just lacked the kiss and many of us suspected if it weren't for keeping the material a bit more mainstream appropriate when it was written, there would have been a kiss. I wonder actually if that's the reason why the scenes are so similar. To finally do what should have been done a long time before.

Anway, what I'm getting at -

"Let's do [radical thing] together!" - "No!" - "But...!" - "I forgive you." - One storms off (statistically, mostly Crowley) - one gets in trouble (statistically, mostly Aziraphale but then it's not gets but "gets") - dramatic reunion

seems to be a pattern throughout their friendship, including the emotional bond growing and escalating a bit further every time (yeah, it feels dramatic now, that we see it, but it's all happening and building up over 6000 years, sometimes with decades or centuries between "breakup" and reunion.)

I wonder if we'll get the full story of the 1793 prison scene. So far we've learned: Aziraphale knows that Crowely loves saving him and doesn't mind acting a little helpless/putting himself in danger and he did the "You're right, I am wrong dance" the same year. Combined with the smugness and "Oh, you!" from both sides, and Aziraphale's rather lame reasons why he ended up there and why he unfortunately, unfortunately can neither miracle nor charm himself out of jail? Yeah, that's a story that smells of a dramatic previous setup. Like a "breakup" over sides, for example.

I bet one wild fan theory that what looks extremely dramatic to us is the same song and dance they've been through countless times in 6k years and, if anyone remembers the manga and how it ended, we're steering toward a Ranma 1/2-esque resolution, maybe with more open and blunt handholding but all in all, nothing really changed aside from Crowley finally saying what Aziraphale already knew or at least expected (our angel guy doesn't seem very surprised by the confession and more pained by the timing and context than anything else).

All in all, ep6s2 feels more like the midpoint or late third of a whole season, especially if compared to the pacing and beats of the first season. And now, the second coming?

Sounds like the hint at a future conflict based on the same premise as the main arc of season 1, just from the other perspective (wouldn't be surprised if it included the concept of "The Rapture" in one form or the other, would be funny if Crowley turned out to be behind the belief in The Rapture but not to please Hell but to annoy Aziraphale with paperwork).

Anyway, it's good that things are how they're now. Aziraphale gets to step out of their routine and to experience one of his big "What ifs..." that he'd have wondered about until eternity if he hadn't been given the chance to be a proper angel in Heaven again.

And now, Crowley has to share Earth with Gabriel, Beelzebub, and Muriel, three immortal beings like him, with very different personalities from him and Aziraphale.

Choosing someone as your forever-person over others and lifechoices is only a true choice when you experience options.

If they end up together after another season and choose to stay together on Earth, independent from their backgrounds, it'll be because they truly choose to, and not brought together by proximity loneliness for being two of a kind.

I really hope that's an angle they'll go with in the future.

[foone]

This is for a lot of reasons but mainly I want to see what they'd think of it. See, the "homosexual" part isn't really the point. Plenty of species do gay stuff, so I'd think they'd be like "yeah sure we get that bit" but the other two parts are really outside their experience.

They don't have assholes. Corvids, like a lot of birds, have a cloaca: it's an all-in-one hole. They use it for sex and waste (which is also complicated by the fact that they do have urine but don't have a bladder and don't urinate: it just gets mixed in with the feces). So the idea that for humans, we've got a separate orifice for sex and homosexual sex doesn't use it... That'd be tricky to understand.

But the real stumbling point, I think, would be the penis. They don't have them, so the whole idea that we've got this specific appendage for penetrating each other? That's gotta be hard to understand, no pun intended. I wonder how much they'd be "oh that's neat, nature is so diverse and wonderful!" and how much it would be "you guys are fucking terrifying. It'd be like us talking to a xenomorph or spider wasp . They think it's perfectly normal that they reproduce by traumatically injecting their young into the host who then burst out, killing and eating them. Yeah, nature is amazing but also you're giving us nightmares.

Possibly more so because corvids (like most (or even all? I'm not sure)) birds don't "kiss" either. They do something that's sometimes called a kiss, but it's basically just rubbing beaks together. There's no tongues in other birds' mouths. So the corvid idea of their body is presumably one that's never penetrated. The whole idea is foreign to them. Their only reference point for that kind of thing would be in the context of injury, like getting shot or cut or impaled on thorns.

So I don't know how much they'd really be able to see our sexual practices outside of a body horror lens.

On the other hand, I think they'd understand fellatio without as much difficulty. They eat, after all, so having something go in your mouth isn't AS weird to them.

Still, I don't know how much that'd be "oh I can see why that'd be pleasurable" vs "that doesn't squick me out completely, but I still don't exactly get it". They can't exactly do it themselves (no penises!) and I don't know if any birds practice... It's not exactly cunnilingus, because it's a cloaca, but it's kinda similar? I mean, it wouldn't surprise me if they do... I just don't know.

But yeah. I'd love to talk to some corvids. They're very smart so I'm sure there's a lot we'd have in common if we could talk to them, but I can't help but imagine they'd find how we have sex completely horrifying.

Although I wonder how much they'd already think that before we tell them? I mean, the chances for your average corvid to see some humans fucking each other are rare, but, like... There's wild animals and farm animals. Surely some crows have been hanging around when some Hot Mammal Sex has happened, and they have to have seen it. They've got good eyesight, after all. Better than ours, in many ways. So I guess it'd make sense if they already know and just consider it one of those weird mammal things.

Not that it's solely a mammal thing, of course... There's birds with penises and vaginas, and they arguably do worse things with them than we humans manage to get up to. Don't look up how duck genital evolution works, it's frightening.

Anyway. I want to talk to a corvid about sex.

I wanna try to explain homosexual anal sex to corvids

[arcanadreams]

That time you and your demon boyfriend went viral

hi yes hello obey me fandom!! my name is Gabbi and i have never played a single second of the actual game but i have read enough fanon content for the past year to have this idea swimming around in my head and now i am finally letting this accursed thing out of my brain and putting it in yours

also i’m only doing the brothers because any more than that and i’d have an aneurysm probably. oh and shoutout to @obeythebutler and @beels-burger-babe for inspiring me with their works to feel brave enough to write for this fandom

Lucifer:

You and Lucifer go viral on Asmo’s Devilgram story!

You’re in the kitchen helping Asmo with dinner duty and singing along to one of your playlists of human realm music that you like to show him.

Asmo starts filming your cute little dance while you stir the pot on the stove because you are just adorable!

About ten seconds into him filming, Lucifer appears in the doorway with quite the stern look on his face. You know, the one that comes right before a “MAMMOOOOOON” and strikes fear into the heart of all those with functioning eardrums. That one.

He opens his mouth, presumably to tell y’all to shut the fuck up, but then there’s a lull in the music and the eldest can hear your voice ever so slightly above the song’s vocalist and he freezes.

Man stops in his tracks like someone just smacked him in the face with a midair volleyball.

Asmo can be heard stifling a laugh behind his phone.

Lucifer’s face gets so soft and he almost, almost, loosens his metal-rod-through-the-ass posture before you notice him and give a little wave and ask if you and Asmo were being too loud like the considerate darling you are.

Lucifer clears and his throat and says something like, “No, you aren’t. I was just coming to check on how dinner is coming along,” and leaves, after which Asmo immediately presses the post button.

Screenshots of Lucifer’s heart eyes for you go absolutely viral because every demon on Devilgram goes absolutely feral for seeing the eldest demon brother lose his dignified composure. It becomes a meme template. “Get you someone who looks at you like Lucifer looks at MC” and “me at the delivery demon when he shows up with my spicy bat wings” posts become commonplace. (Asmo thinks the memes are totally worth getting strung up with Mammon for laughing at them.)

Mammon:

Much like Lucifer, you and Mammon end up going viral off Asmo’s Devilgram. (Noticing a pattern here?) 

He pulls a silly prank on your asses and honestly I don’t know how you fell for it. But hey, they say “idiots in love” for a reason, so...

You and Asmo are sitting in the common room of the House of Lamentation just chillin. Well, he’s chillin, you’re on the floor studying for an upcoming exam.

The video starts in the middle of a conversation you and the avatar of lust were having.

“No, Asmo,” you say. “Mammon and I don’t use pet names for each other.” Now that’s just a darn lie, and every demon and crow within ten miles of Mammon and you together knows it.

“Really? I find that very hard to believe, MC.~” 

You sigh in response to Asmo’s teasing. “Okay, he has a lot for me but I’m just not much of a pet name person, y’know?” The rest of the exchange goes like this:

“Oh, I totally get it.” *pause* “Hey MC, what do human world bees make again?”

“Honey.”

Cue a sheepish Mammon sticking his head in the doorway at the bluntness of your tone when you answered Asmo.

“Yeah, babe?” he looks like a puppy left on the side of a highway oh my god hUG HIM-

Asmo turns the camera back to his smug ass face and in the background you can be heard tripping on the damn carpet trying to get up and hug your mans. (”MAMMON GET OVER HERE SO I CAN HUG YOU” “W-WHAT? I THOUGHT YA WERE MAD AT ME?!?!?!?!”)

Leviathan:

Streamer Levi? Streamer Levi.

You guys go viral the first time you make an appearance on one of Levi’s weekly (insert cool Devildom streaming service name here) streams. 

It’s completely unintentional. You had been asking him for weeks to play with him on there, but he’s the avatar of envy after all. He doesn’t like sharing his partner, even if it’s with random strangers who have no real access to you.

However, he has his stream on a Thursday instead of a Friday one week, and you come into his room carrying dinner because 1) You didn’t realize he was streaming and 2) No matter what he was doing, the boy needed to eat. It wasn’t unusual for you to bring him dinner, so you had no idea why he was blushing and stammering even more than usual this time in particular. Boy was speaking in beached whale trying to tell you what was wrong.

Then you notice his screen. Oh! “Hi chat!” You wave, setting Levi’s food down on his desk in front of his keyboard. “M-MC!” He full-on whines, slamming a hand over his mouth afterwards when he remembers his viewers could hear that.

Honestly, they’d meme the fuck out of him if it weren’t for the fact that they are FINALLY SEEING HIS HENRY!!! THE MYSTERIOUS MC!!!

Chat is bombarding you with questions while you make Levi eat dinner. And by make him eat dinner, I mean literally feeding this man forkfuls/spoonfuls while he games because you love how flustered he gets when you do that. 

Does it impact his score? Absolutely. Does he care? Not really when you’re pampering him like that.

You start answering chat’s questions about you while he’s chewing so he can’t tell you to stop LMAO-

You’re a natural on stream. The VOD becomes the most popular on Levi’s account in a matter of hours and soon cute highlights compilations of you and him on that stream start making the rounds on Devildom Twitter.

Satan:

There was buildup to Satan going viral, similar to Levi in a way. 

Satan does have a Devilgram, but it’s basically a white woman’s Instagram with added book reviews for variety. Unless you’re a reader his account is pretty boring: candles, books, fireplaces, and cats.

However, after you two started reading together fairly often he began posting pictures of your legs draped over his while you sat together. They’d always be captioned with vague ass pretentious literary criticism. 

This goes on for months, and he gains a lot of (horny) followers after the leg pics start up. He doesn’t really get why but you both joke that it’s because you have some damn nice legs and I mean neither of you are complaining about the new following.

You two go viral when he finally shows your face, entirely by accident.

The post is a video, which is already strange for him and grabs attention. In it, you’re scoffing and reading an excerpt of a book, mocking its understanding of female anatomy.

“I’m quoting here, Satan: ‘her breasts bouncing around like giant pacmen.’ I’M SORRY?? THAT ISN’T HOW BOOBS WORK SIR. WHY ARE MEN ALLOWED TO WRITE?” 

(fun fact that is a very real quote from a very real book I really read last month pls save me)

Originally the camera is focused on your body, with your head out of frame to protect your privacy, but your righteous anger made Satan laugh. Like, a real laugh. The one that makes you and everyone in earshot wonder if he truly was never an angel cause he sure as hell laughs like one but anyway-

When he threw his head back, his DDD angled up just a tad without him noticing, and your face was in view for like .2 seconds. Screenshots of it are making the rounds on Devilgram almost immediately: FINALLY THE LEGS’ OWNER HAS BEEN FOUND.

Satan apologizes profusely but you honestly find it funny and you two opt to just start taking selfies while reading with both of your faces in them from now on. 

Asmodeus:

I’m gonna be real with you: you and Asmo go viral all the time. Pretty much everything Asmo posts can be considered viral because of his social media following and his status as one of the seven avatars of sin.

However, there are some fairly cute highlights to be pointed out among the times you were both featured in a post that blew up.

Your favorite is probably that time Asmo livestreamed on of you guys’ ‘Nail Nites,’ as you call them.

You’re both on the floor, doing your nails and kicking your feet back and forth while talking to chat. A lot of the questions are about your relationship, and there’s a lot of flirting back and forth between the two of you.

A particular clip of the stream does blow the fuck up on Devilgram, though, when someone screen records it and posts it with a bunch of heart emojis edited over it.

“’What colors do you think best describe each other?’ Ooo, that’s a good one, chat!” Asmo claps his hands together excitedly, making sure to be  careful of his nails.

Pretty much everyone expected you to say pink, but you surprised both your boyfriend and your viewers when, after a pensive few moments, you replied with “Hmm...probably yellow or orange.”

“Can I ask why, darling?” Asmo tilts his head in confusion. I mean, yeah, those colors look good on him, but he doesn’t wear them often so he’s wondering about your thought process. 

“Well, in the human world those colors often represent happiness, optimism, and positivity. You’re always the cheerful presence I need in my life when things get hard, so you have the vibe of those colors.”

Asmo proceeds to burst into tears and hug you, messing up both of your nails and prolonging the stream since you both have to start over. But neither of you particularly care. 

Fun fact: Asmo has the clip that demon made of that portion of the stream saved on his DDD and watches it whenever he feels sad.

Beelzebub:

Beel and you probably go the most viral out of everybody. Like this moment is an entire phenomenon across the Devildom internet. 

It’s a video, or well, multiple videos, taken at the end of a Fangol game that Beel’s team had just won. Everyone is cheering and going crazy, yourself included, and you just really wanted to congratulate your boyfriend.

So, like the rational person you are, you elect to climb up onto the railing of the bleachers and wave to get his attention. 

You were absolutely fine up there, and sat all comfortably motioning Beel over to you. He notices, of course, and jogs over, standing right beneath you and looking up. (Back where you were sitting, Mammon is screeching like a hyena in heat and Belphie, who is laying down, has one eye open to glare at him. The youngest knows Beel would never let you hurt yourself; you’re fine.)

A bunch of assorted demons at the game has started filming while you were sat atop the railing since you were rather noticeable. Therefore, there’s a shit ton of different angles of the adorable events that follow:

You slide off the railing, landing right in Beel’s waiting arms bridal style. You’ve got this brilliant smile on your face as you pull his helmet off. None of the DDDs filming can hear it over the crowd noise, but Beel asks you why you just went through all that trouble and you tell him it’s because you wanted to tell him how proud you are.

Soft boy’s chest puffs up and he smiles this big cheesy smile at you reach up to run a hand through his hair. You feel him practically purr at the contact, and with a laugh you pull him in and plant a big ole smooch on him.

The crowd, at least those of them that can see, scream. Everyone is running high on adrenaline and happy emotions; something that cute causes a ruckus!! When you pull away Beel proceeds to put you on his shoulders and you celebrate with him and the rest of his team.

The videos of you two being adorable go completely viral and there are some threads dedicated to stockpiling every single angle taken of the event. Beel is completely oblivious to the attention but you have a lot of them saved on your DDD.

Belphegor:

If you think Belphegor has any sort of social media presence whatsoever then you are sorely mistaken. (Well okay he actually does run some anonymous troll accounts to meme on Lucifer’s posts but that’s neither here nor there-)

Therefore, naturally, you two go viral off of Asmo’s Devilgram. 

Okay so someone in the obey me tag the other say headcanoned that Belphie will go out of his way to nap in ridiculous places and my brain really took that and RAN WITH IT.

So what happens is that Belphie will fall asleep in the fucking weirdest places. I’m talking on top of the fridge, underneath the dinner table, on top of bookshelves...you name it, he has slept there, no matter the effort it takes to get there in the first place. 

And, ever since you two started dating, you would join him. Sometimes it involved putting yourself at risk of great bodily harm, but the little smile he gave when you he saw you fucking scaling the countertop to reach him made it worth it.

So anyway, since Beel adores the both of you to no end, he takes pictures whenever he sees you two napping together, whether or not it is in a crazy place. He sends these to the family group chat because he thinks they’re adorable.

Over a span of weeks to months, Asmo has built up a stock of images of you and Belphie cuddles up in seemingly impossible places. Once he has about ten or so, he posts a compilation of them to his Devilgram with some cheesy ass caption like “The things we do for love <3″.

They become a meme SO QUICKLY. Like UNBELIEVABLY quickly. 

The picture of you and Belphie sleeping on top of a bookshelf, in particular, is a big hit. Memes abound.

“If my girl doesn’t climb up a bookshelf to cuddle my ass, she don’t love me.” “Get yourself a partner who scales bookshelves just to be with your ass.” Etc etc...Belphie doesn’t give a shit but you laugh at a lot of them so he sees that as a good outcome.